#(update just found this in my drafts and i don't know why i didn't post it right away but i'm POSTING IT NOW because it STILL APPLIES)

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Practice

Oscar Piastri x Fem!Reader x Paul Aron

A/N: I really wasn't going to post anything on Tumblr for a while and to just use the anger and betrayal I feel inside of me to write as a form of an outlet. I've had this request done for a while but with everything going on I didn't want to post it but I already feel bad to the person that requested it for keeping them waiting for so long and since Oscar won today, I feel like this is an appropriate time.

After posting this, I do not know how long until I post again but know whenever I do decide it is the right time for me (mentally) to come back, I will have lots of stories to post along with writing more.

Again, thank you to everyone who has reached out to me and wishing me well and reblogging that post along with sending requests to other writers asking them to spread the word and to block and report that person, I do see them and I do really appreciate all the support.

Farewell, for now. I will see you all again soon.

Requested (idk where the actual ask went but I did write it in my notes app where I do rough drafts): Please could you do a story Oscar piastri x y/n x paul aron smut I'm dying for the two of them 🔥 @deepestrunawaykitty

SMUT

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

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F1 Masterlist

It was a hot July Saturday night, and I felt my heart race as I entered the club with my boyfriend, Oscar. The bass pumped through my body, setting the tone for a night of pure, unadulterated pleasure. I wore a tight, black dress that hugged my body in all the right places. my long hair fell loosely and my eyes sparkled with anticipation. Oscar looked dashing as always, his brown hair tussled, and that seductive smirk playing on his lips. He was a Formula 1 driver, and his bad-boy charm had me hooked from the start.

As we made our way through the crowd, hands brushing against each other, the familiar lyrics of Drake's "Practice" filled the room. This was our song, the one that played on repeat during our steamy make-out sessions. Oscar leaned in close, his hot breath tickling my ear as he whispered, "You know what this song does to me, babe. It makes me want to take you right here on the dance floor and show everyone what you're mine."

I felt my core clench at his words, my nipples hardening against the soft fabric of my dress. I loved it when Oscar talked dirty, and tonight, I wanted to give myself completely to him. "Then take me," I purred, pressing my body against his, feeling the hard length of his cock straining against his pants. "I'm yours to do with as you please."

Oscar's hand slid down my back, pulling my body tight against his. With his other hand, he reached under my dress, his fingers teasing the soaked fabric of my panties. "You're so wet already, baby. Who knows, maybe I'll let one of my friends have a taste of this tight pussy tonight." I moaned, my eyes fluttering closed as his fingers found my clit, rubbing slow, torturous circles. "Oh, yes, Oscar," I gasped. "I'm yours to share. Do whatever you want with me."

As if on cue, Oscar's friend, Formula 2 driver Paul Aron, joined us on the dance floor. He was tall and muscular, with a mischievous smile that sent shivers down my spine. "Well, well, well," he said, his eyes roaming over my body. "Looks like someone's ready to play."

"She certainly is," Oscar replied, his hand still working its magic between my thighs. "Why don't you say hello, Paul?"

Paul didn't need to be asked twice. He pulled me against him, his lips crashing down on mine in a passionate kiss. I melted into the kiss, my hands exploring Paul's body as his tongue dueled with mine. I could feel both of their erections pressing into me, and it drove me wild.

Breaking the kiss, Oscar guided me to turn around, pressing my body against the hard planes of Paul's chest. "Such a beautiful view," Oscar murmured, nuzzling my neck. "Seeing your pretty mouth wrapped around my cock while Paul fucks that tight pussy from behind." I moaned, my eyes rolling back as Paul's hands slid up my thighs, lifting my dress. "Mmm, yes, Oscar," I breathed. "I want you both. Please, fuck me. Make me yours."

Without warning, Oscar spun me around and pressed my against the nearby wall, his mouth claiming mine in a voracious kiss. my senses spun out of control as I felt Paul's hands on my waist, lifting me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he pressed the length of his hard cock against my aching pussy. "You ready for me, baby?" he growled, grinding his hips against her.

"Please," I begged, my head falling back as Oscar kissed and nibbled on my neck. "Fuck me, Paul. Give it to me hard."

With one swift thrust, Paul impaled me on his thick shaft, burying himself balls-deep inside me. I cried out, my nails digging into Oscar's shoulders as I felt myself stretched around his cock. Paul began to move, his hips snapping as he pounded into me, each thrust hitting me deep and hard.

Oscar's hands roamed over my body, cupping my breasts and pinching my nipples. He kissed and sucked on my neck, marking me as his. "You like that, baby? You like being fucked by my friend while I watch?"

"Yes," I moaned, my head tossing back and forth as pleasure washed over me. "Oh, God, yes. It feels so good, Oscar. Don't stop."

Paul's hands gripped my thighs, holding me in place as he thrust faster and harder, his grunts filling the air. I felt her orgasm building, a coil of pleasure tightening in my belly. "I'm gonna cum," I panted, my fingers tangling in Oscar's hair. "Don't stop, please, don't stop."

As if sensing my impending release, Oscar reached between our bodies, his fingers finding my swollen clit. He rubbed me in slow, firm circles, sending shocks of pleasure coursing through me. "That's it, baby, cum for us. Let me taste that sweet pussy."

And cum I did. With a strangled cry, my body shook as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over me. My juices flowed around Paul's cock, making his thrusts even more delicious. "That's it, take it," Paul grunted, his hips slapping against my ass. "Cum all over my cock, you dirty girl."

As my orgasm began to subside, Paul quickened his pace, chasing his own release. I felt his cock twitch inside her, and with a final, powerful thrust, he filled me with his hot cum. "Fuck, yes," he groaned, his body trembling as he emptied himself inside me.

But the night was far from over.

After a brief respite, Oscar led us to a more secluded area of the club. His eyes were dark with desire as he pushed me against a nearby couch, his lips capturing mine in a fierce kiss. Paul stood beside us, his eyes burning with lust as he watched his friend take what he wanted from my willing body.

Oscar broke the kiss, his breath hot on my face as he said, "Get on your knees, baby. I want your mouth."

I obeyed without hesitation, my heart pounding with anticipation. I knew Oscar loved deepthroating, and the thought of taking him all the way down my throat made my pussy drip. I looked up at him with hooded eyes, my lips parted, as I reached for the belt of his pants.

Oscar undid his belt, freeing his hard length. my eyes widened at the sight of his thick, veined cock, the head already glistening with pre-cum. I licked my lips, leaning forward to flick my tongue over the sensitive tip. "Mmm," I moaned, tasting the salty sweetness of him. "I've been waiting all night for this."

I took him into my mouth, sucking slowly, bobbing my head up and down as my hands stroked his length. Oscar's hands tangled in my hair, guiding my pace as he moaned above me. "That's it, baby, just like that. Take it all."

my lips slid down his shaft, my tongue swirling as I hollowed my cheeks, taking him deeper with each stroke. I could feel his cock hit the back of my throat, and I relaxed, allowing him to slide down my throat. Oscar groaned, his hips bucking as he held me still, his cock buried deep. "Fuck, yes, that's it, take it all," he panted.

Pulling back, I sucked hard, hollowing my cheeks as I swirled my tongue. Oscar's hands tightened in my hair, guiding me in a fast, hard rhythm as he used my mouth for his pleasure. "You love that cock, don't you, baby?" he growled. "You're such a dirty little cock slut."

"Mmm-hmm," I hummed around his shaft, my eyes flashing with desire. "I love it, Oscar. I love sucking your big cock."

Paul stood beside them, stroking his hardening cock as he watched the erotic display. "Damn, that's fucking hot," he muttered. "Seeing her mouth wrapped around your cock is making me hard again, Oscar."

A wicked smile curved Oscar's lips as he pulled me off his cock, a strand of saliva connecting our mouths. "I think it's time for that double penetration I've been craving, don't you?"

my pussy clenched at his words, the thought of being filled by both men at once sending a thrill through my body. I nodded eagerly, my eyes shining with anticipation. "Please, yes. Fuck me, both of you. I want it so bad."

Oscar positioned me on my hands and knees on the couch, my ass raised in the air, my pussy exposed and glistening with my juices. "Ride that cock, Paul," he instructed, his eyes sparkling with lust. "I'm gonna stretch her throat while you pound that tight pussy."

Paul lined himself up, sliding into my wet heat with ease. I moaned, my eyes fluttering closed as I felt myself stretched around his thickness once again. Oscar guided my head down onto his cock, holding me still as he thrust his hips, fucking my mouth hard and fast.

The sensation of being filled at both ends pushed me closer to the edge. I felt Paul's hands grip my hips, setting a brutal pace as he slammed into me. Oscar's cock pumped in and out of my mouth, his balls slapping against my chin. "That's it," Oscar grunted. "Take it, you dirty slut. Take both our cocks."

The sounds of their grunts and my muffled moans filled the room. “So dirty for us, such a slut” Oscar grunted. His words sent me over the edge. I cried out around Oscar's cock as my orgasm ripped through me, my body shaking with the force of it. Paul roared his release, his cum shooting deep inside me as he rode out his orgasm.

With a final, hard thrust, Oscar held my head down on his shaft, his hips bucking as he filled my mouth with his hot load. I swallowed, milking him with my mouth as he groaned my name.

Collapsing onto the couch, all three of us panted, a tangle of sweaty, satisfied bodies. I smiled, my body buzzing with satisfaction. This was definitely a night I would never forget.

—————

taglist:

@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal l l @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti @dhanihamidi i @tellybearryyyy @a-panseuxalmess s @love-simon @tallrock35 @iiaik0ii @Milkyymelanine @ilovsyou3000morgan @styl1shl1v @eddieharrington @hellowgoodbye

[deoidesign]

Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.

Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!

Hi there!

Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!

It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!

I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha

I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then

I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...

The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.

It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.

Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.

I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.

I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.

[blue-thief]

Ok. Thoughts on the Itoshi Sibs / their parallels with Isagi?

HELLO this took forever for me to answer because summer school and the sadness. as you know.

also i went too crazy with tying blue lock into my fixation with japanese nationalism so it got way too complex and i got scared but now i'm just gonna make that its own post (<- said the same thing about bsd. that analysis about bsd's connection with japanese nationalism has been sitting in my docs for a year now i think)

(smh this is what happens when the japanese imperial army almost wipes out your entire bloodline /gen /srs)

anyway. all that waiting to say that rin is... just some guy to me

usually a fw anime boys named rin. esp if they're the sworn rival of the plain protagonist. not necessarily this one though

i have no clue why he doesn't scratch my brain properly. he just doesn't. i need to spend a good three hours staring at the ceiling at night to figure that out

when you first sent me this i didn't really care for sae much either. now i do

that's how long this has been sitting in my drafts 😃😃

(i've written and scrapped thousands of words for this ask sob sob)

(this answer wasn't even formatted this way originally)

i've probably told you the story of how sae grew on me before but like

i don't plan out my fics right

i do play out random scenes in my head to test out if i like them or not

(shivers because updating my fic is another thing that is taking forever.......)

and i was just fucking around with random jokes kaiser and sae could say to each other

then i imagined sae smiling

and i was like "what the fuck... why is that so endearing........"

that was the turning point but it really was a lot of sitting and contemplating sae's character honestly

to really understand him and why he'd be friends with kaiser

and sae is kinda just like me frfr

that guy can't do anything other than soccer/football. he has nothing going on beyond that

and yeah. yeah... i get that.......

it's the reason why i like a bunch of other bllk characters but it's most pronounced with sae yk

(SORRY MR. SNUFFY)

and like. just his inability to be a normal fucking person 😭😭 too real

anyway those are my general itoshi brothers thoughts

now for the parallels part.

(this is the part that killed me and i wanna go more in-depth. but i'm saving that for another post. because holy shit my original idea was so fucking ambitious)

i had other thoughts and god i wish i wrote that stuff down

but the major thing i want to get into here is dependence

isagi is independent. soo independent it's kinda crazy

this was outlined most during the second selection with bachira where he had to learn to play by himself

meanwhile there's rin who seems independent on the surface

however, rin has always been dependent on sae in one way or another

when they were younger, rin was dependent on sae to take care of and guide him

rin also depended heavily on sae on the field

now that they are older, sae's attempt to shake rin off has just made rin's dependence on sae even more intense, just in a different way

rin's only motivation to play soccer/football had been to "crush" sae

...but now he's met isagi

and his obsession has found a new object

with the recent chapters, now we know he places isagi and sae on a similar level in his personal hierarchy, and his desire to destroy sae has bled into rin's feelings toward isagi

while rin has only one rival, the same can't be said for isagi

isagi gains rivals like pokemon, and while they have all played a significant roll in isagi's development as a person and a character, his obsession doesn't consume him. in the PXG vs BM match, he's doesn't fully comprehend the effect he's had on kaiser and rin

and mannn i wish i could find this analysis, but it's gone now

but someone compared isagi's desire to "devour" to rin and nagi's desire to "kill"

I WISH I COULD REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT THEY SAID

but from what i remember, "devouring" someone is temporarily defeating them, but both parties ultimately improve so there's room for them to meet again and help each other improve even more

however, "killing" someone is defeating them completely so they're never able to play/improve ever again

which outlines the fact that while isagi can be a little bitch on the field, he wants his rivals to improve alongside him, and in the end, he wants the best for people (in terms of soccer/football)

which is why he never became overly-dependent on bachira and why he treats midfielders as actual human beings 😭😭

isagi is independent, but he pushes for the people around him to be just as independent

the itoshi brothers are different though

rin is codependent on sae, and you could say his hatred/obsession with isagi is a different type of codependency

but that thing about treating midfielders as human beings...

uh. that doesn't really apply to rin

sae is somewhat similar with how he "tamed" shidou but it's not THAT imbalanced lmao

there's also how the three of them are on different places of the striker-midfielder spectrum

in-universe and within the fandom, rin is perceived as japan's ultimate striker. his raw shooting power + metavision makes him perfect for this position.

however sae, another metavision user, is the perfect midfielder

then there's isagi who's tried emulating rin's play style at first but is ultimately most similar to sae, leading people to say that isagi is better suited to be a midfielder rather than a striker

while rin represents what the ultimate japanese striker is, something isagi is trying to reach, sae's path is one that isagi could easily fall down instead

many people have theorized that sae became a midfielder to improve rin's chances at becoming a better striker. sae may be considered to have a strong ego, but if this turns out to be true, that might not be the case lmao

errm. idk how to end this off. sorry for the wait sob sob

[another-lost-mc]

JES YOU UPDATED, the kids miss you/j

I've been busy doing a lot of nothing, if that makes sense. Well, maybe not nothing - a random assortment of rl and blog odds-and-ends that don't seem very productive but I'm going to call it self-care. lol

(read more cause this got longer than I thought it would.)

I don't usually take March Break off work, but my empty schedule this year surprised me and I didn't really know what to do with myself. I spent the first few days fending off a persistent headache, then I spent some time re-watching Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel while I worked on some crossover/fusion potential with OM. Today the headache is back and I'm dog-sitting which shouldn't be as distracting as it is. (She's only a little Boston Terrier but my cats get all worked up about it even though they're the ones stalking her around the house for no reason.)

I've also been playing Honkai Star Rail. I have no idea what I'm doing but it's kind of fun. I want to give Genshin Impact a try too, but I'm not sure I want to play both. (I know dailies are optional blah blah blah but if I'm going to spend time doing busywork like that, I might as well go back to playing WoW.)

Someone sent me another ask about my current WIPs so I think I'll just ramble about them here.

The canon cast and OC post for surgery!anon. I'm trying to balance fluff and angst and realism and make it comforting at the same time (aka what I would've wanted to read before mine). There's some overlap with a post about Solomon's humanity that's it's own separate WIP.

Naming conventions in the Devildom and CR. These are my worldbuilding ideas to explain how Solomon has an established pact with Bathin (my OC for Mephisto's younger brother) since he's part of the Ars Goetia. This also discusses how those same ideas apply to Luke.

Fleshing out the angel OC stuff with Gabriel and Uriel. They're situated in the AU where MC is sent to the CR for the exchange program and not the Devildom which is why I haven't talked about them much. I have the fem!angel OC as well but I don't know what to name her (I want her to be like Zee where she's an "ordinary" angel). To be fair, she's probably not going to show up much outside of the story I originally wrote for her.

Genderbending-the-OCs anon, you have no idea what this is doing to me. It changes their kinks and their dynamics and how they would approach MC and I am mentally screaming into a pillow right now.

I've been writing directly in my Tumblr drafts lately, but I found a holiday fic for Solomon in my google docs. I thought it was a WIP but then I re-read it and it turns out I actually finished it and somehow forgot about it? Like...how does someone even do that. Anyway, do we want a smutty Solomon Xmas-in-March fic? (It's only holiday-ish because of a corny mistletoe joke on his part.)

On a random note, part of me regrets not making separate blogs for AT and my OCs (for organizational purposes) and I'm lowkey tempted to do it anyway.

If you read all this, you get a prize! Enjoy some chibis that I've been collecting like they're for my OC Pokedex. These are by sempa and ocha respectively.

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Hi Shalom!

🐏 anon here. I've been thinking a lot about Judaism lately, and I see your posts all the time (positive!) so I wanted to say hi, and make my own post I suppose.

Recently, I found a photo of my grandma as a teenager, with her family, with a menorah on the table. I was surprised... I thought my grandma's mom didn't really practice Judaism and that's why my grandma doesn't really ever mention it. It's some sort of comfort that I'd be able to, like, prove, that my maternal grandma really was Jewish (at least at one point), you know? I also wonder why it never comes up. It doesn't seem like it's a private subject to her or anything, it just feels unimportant/irrelevant, but you'd kind of think that "observant enough to light a menorah regularly" would be "observant enough for it to be impactful to her identity", yeah? I was also surprised that my great-grandma kind of looks Jewish, because my grandma doesn't at all. I think my great-grandma looks kind of like me, actually...

I keep thinking about sending that email to the shul by me. I've had it drafted ever since you encouraged me last year, and I'm at the point where I really think I should just go check it out and maybe that'll satisfy my curiosity/connection-seeking. But I realized that I have a lot of Jewish friends, all of whom seem to know each other, 'cause there aren't that many Jews around here. And now I'm afraid someone would see me and recognize me and ask questions I don't know how to answer (like "are you Jewish? are you converting? do you want to convert?").

In lighthearted news, I donated $5 to Montana Jewish Project like two years ago when they were trying to buy back a historical synagogue, and today I got a happy new year postcard in the mail 🥺 not even a "send us more money pls" mailing, just celebratory. It's a small thing, but it made me smile.

Shana Tovah, Shalom! It's been inspiring seeing your journey thus far, and seeing how happy Judaism seems to make you. Thanks for the sense of company/community here on tumblr.com!

- 🐏

I'm really glad you decided to send an update - as long as you'd like to, I enjoy seeing how everyone (of course including you) are doing!

I totally get what you mean - I have no clue about half my family, and I've only recently learned a smidge about some of them myself, so I understand why it's like... "How is this not relevant information?". Jewish identity is so complex for many, so it makes sense, you know? But I'm really glad you're connecting with your family, learning about them, seeing you in them. It's a special thing, and I hope you foster that further! And with shul... Nobody knew who I was when I started going, so I don't have that experience, but... I definitely think it's still worth it, honestly. It can be really difficult, and honestly, I myself can get tired of the "what brings you here?" conversations (not anyone's fault, just a conversation I've had a lot that feels... really personal). I honestly think it's one of those "you won't know until you try" sorts of situations, and many people will just be happy to see more people - especially fresh faces! I don't think anyone does this, like... Maliciously, and that helps me when it feels like, "please don't ask why I'm here, it's a whole Conversation."

And it's so sweet they sent you a postcard - here's hoping you'll have a sweet 5785, and I really hope your shabbos will be delightful and refreshing. If you're planning to observe any of the high holidays, may it be meaningful and special! There's no pressure for you, but it's something I think can be really important - I became 110% sure I wanted to convert when I celebrated Purim with my community (which is why Purim is now so incredibly special to me)!

[manchurian-barnes]

Coffee Shop Blues and Red Part Four (Peter Parker x F! Reader)

Post NWH - Collage Peter!

Busy nights filled with college course work, leads to late nights in a crappy coffee shop, the only perk? Friendly neighbourhood company.

To keep updated heres the Series Masterlist and for my other works, you can find My Masterlist Here!

Peter paced back and forth around his apartment, pondering every outcome of taking you out on a date. He ran his hands through his hair and just let out, a sigh, a massive friggin 'what the hell are you doing Peter?' kind of sigh. Though all he could think about was how happy he was that you even liked him back marginially, he also found that happy thought being replaced by the sight of you getting hurt. By the sight of you bleeding. By the sight of you in his arms bleeding and him knowing it was his fault and he couldnt stop it- He stood still and just looked at his mask, freshly off his head, over his raditor...

"Fuck me..." He whispered, "c'mon parker." He took a deep breath. Dating was hard enough, the looming and ever presant threat of something happening to you, well, that only further complicated matters...

You sat in the middle of your bed staring at a blank word document. Nothing was coming to you, no stories, nothing in the news sparked enough interest to even try and draft something. You closed that tab and instead opened another, google, good ol' google.

You bit your lip before typing 'spider-man sightings'. Staring at the page as it loaded up. most recent sightings no less than an hour ago. It was exceptionally difficult at the moment to really picture that being Peter, you knew it was yet, the idea of him letting himself go through hell daily and still showing up to the damn coffee shop with his bright smile - the fact he was always more conerned by your day than his... It was difficult to fathom someone who had so much good inside their heart. "Jesus Christ...get a grip, it's not that weird...it's not that weird..." You whispered to yourself as you watched a video of Spider-Man stopping a truck with his hands. Biting your lip you reached for your phone, holding it to your ear.

"Hey, HI!" Peter's voice came through the phone, chirpy as he ever was. "A truck hit you tonight-" You informed him as if he didn't know. "That's a really good metaphor for you admitting you like me-" "Peter-" "Seriously that is why you're a writing y/n-" He stopped at your sigh. "I'm alright." He assured you. It took a moment before you found it in you to respond to that. "Yeah-right." You nodded. Pinching the bridge of your nose. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay...I just wanted to make sure you were still...able to take me to dinner."

The weak laugh that came from you made Peter's heart clench. He sat down on the edge of his bed and looked around, trying to find the right words for any of this. He'd considered this all from his side, but had never considered what it would be like to be interested in someone like him...someone who risked his life, someone who you would never really know if youd see him again...wasn't really anyone's normal.. "Im okay." He spoke softly, "Ive been doing this like...half my life now and im okay...I swear to you, if i wasn't...i'd of stopped by now." He informed you, "Now, worry about what youre gonna wear...I want to see you like...now ideally but I'm willing to wait until tomorrow..." He laughed.

Rose covered your cheeks by the time he was finished talking and you let out a sigh. "Should i wear a dress? how fancy is the place-" "It's like, so fancy." He chuckled. "We're doing this?" You asked. "We are doing this, but you should know, I don't kiss on the first date, I'm not easy-" He joked. "Who told you I want to kiss you?" That made him laugh, harder than he probably should've.

"You don't want to kiss me?"

"Oh Parker...I've never wanted to kiss someone so bad in my life."

End Of Part Four - Finale!

If you enjoy the series and are curious about my other works you can find them on My Masterlist!

[incorrectgallaghergirlsquotes]

Hello!!! Would you please make something about the scene before Zach sleeps in cam's bed in UWS? ( Like immediately after his mission with joe) cause he said he got stupid? Thanks!

Hello! You guys! This goes in the basket with the scene where he finds Macey instead of Cammie. I love this scene. I think I have an in depth analysis of it in my drafts. (Update: I DO. I'll post it next.) Let's do it!

Rachel softly closed the door to her office. The man inside would be fine for now. The boy in the hallway, however...

"Thanks for getting him back in one piece." Rachel told Zach. He was leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets, and not looking at her.

"It was the least I could do," was all he said. "I can, um,"

"Stay." Rachel interrupted. "Zach, these things happen. But you both made it back," she placed a hand on his shoulder. "That's what is important."

Zach looked from her hand and then finally to her face. Finding only sincerity there, he nodded.

She smiled at him. "Good. Besides, I think my daughter will be very upset if she doesn't get to see you when she gets back."

Zach inhaled, of course Rachel had anticipated the question he had wanted to ask. "Is she...?"

"She should be back soon," Rachel said. "You should wait for her."

Zach nodded. He moved to follow her back into her office, but Rachel blocked him. "Why don't you head up to the girls room?" she asked.

Zach seemed taken aback by the suggestion. He blinked at her, trying to judge if it was a test or something. Rachel just smiled at him. "They should go up there directly after arriving anyway. If not, that's where I'll send her. She'll be happy to see you."

It struck Zach in that moment that somewhere along the way, Rachel had decided she trusted him.

She was still smiling at him. "I trust you know the way?" When he nodded, she waved her arm in dismissal. She went back into the office to tend to Joe while Zach made his way through the halls.

As excited as he was to see Cammie, the guilt over what happened on his mission with Joe was weighing on him. With every step he realized he didn't know how Cammie would be returning. What if she had been hurt? Rachel hadn't said anything, but maybe she didn't know yet.

He reached her door and paused. Maybe this was a bad idea. Or maybe it was the self sabotage talking.

The girls had locked their door, which Zach had anticipated. That hadn't been a problem in the past (a thought that he hated out of context). It did strike him that Rachel had also likely anticipated that and that Zach would still be able to get in.

Their lives were weird.

The room was different without at least some of the girls present. It still had the lived in, homey feel and character of the four girls it was just... still.

He found himself moving around the room, the door clicking shut behind him. He had never spent a long amount of time in the girls room and when he had been in there his focus had been on one thing in particular. It was like, for the first time, he processed there were things in that room. Books and make up and scrunchies and pens and trinkets pertaining to each girl. He found himself walking around Cammie's bed, gaze trained on her bedside table.

There was a picture of her and her mom and another of her with Bex and Liz, probably from their first year. Next to them were photobooth pictures of them with Macey, possibly from the semester Zach had been there. There was a tube of chapstick, a few hair ties, a necklace, and other usual items. It was interesting how a few years ago he would have looked at all those items to learn about her, but now it didn't tell him anything he didn't already know.

Without anything else to occupy himself, he suddenly felt awkward. What was he supposed to do until she got back? Standing in the room felt weird, but so did sitting at her desk, or on her bed. He was still by her bedside table so he sat on the bed, testing it out. He wasn't facing the door so he didn't feel quite like a puppy waiting for it's person to get home.

It was then that he realized, in typical Cammie fashion, she hadn't bothered to make her bed before leaving. Which he could single her out for because all of her roommates had made theirs.

Smiling, he at least rearranged her comforter so it looked more put together. She'd likely be tired when she got back, he knew he was. Although, it hadn't hit him until he sat on her bed again. The beds at the Gallagher Academy were the most comfortable he'd ever been fortunate enough to sleep on.

Careful to keep his shoes off her bed, he let himself recline back. His head fell on Cammie's pillow and he became engulfed in the scent of her shampoo. And just... her. It was sweet but subtle. Flowery and... something else.

Zach hadn't planned on his eyes drifting shut. He caught himself a few times and tried to shake himself out of it. He couldn't, however, bring himself to get up again.

Ultimately, Cammie won out and he drifted off to sleep. Surrounded by her both physically and in his thoughts.

It paled in comparison to waking up to the sound of her saying his name. He opened his eyes and there she was. Perfect.

[chipper-asks]

Hi! I've been following you for a good while now and have always rly admired the community you've build, and, your art itself, obviously, it's always very cozy in here. May be a strange question, but as a relatively popular artist on the interned, are there any tips you could share on how to engage and sustain an audience? maybe you know some recourses for artist to get their art seen? I've been an artist posting online for roughly 10 yrs and pretty much failed at accumulating any sort of prominent presence. I don't feel bad about it really, it's not why I do art per say, but these are pretty rough times and unfortunately other means of art monetization grow thinner with stupid updates & algorithms forcing anyone who can't afford payed adds or subscriptions out of business. I kinda have to make use of social media, even if it's not my element in the slightest. Feel free not to answer if you feel like it. Thanks in advance! Also big thanks for your shouts of my art overall, I really appreciate your support!

So I've had a post in my drafts for who knows how long detailing how to build and curate your audience online. But I haven't found a good way to go about posting it because I didn't want it to come off as tooting my own horn xD

BUT YOU HAVE ENABLED ME SO HERE WE GO!!!

(im going to generalize, you may already be doing some of these things but I think its good info for anyone who wants to build an online presence)

1. Engaging your audience

A: First, you have to think of the platform you're sharing your art on and what people use it for. Not even tumblr, but the internet as a whole. It is a place where people form communities and share information. It's also one of the most popular ways to mentally escape; from school, boredom, to the horrors of real life.

So if you want people to find you, make a space where they can escape/feel community.

This means: No callout posting, no venting, no doom posting, no politics, no guilt posting, no anything that would make you unfollow someone else if you were having a bad day.

It's okay to have an occasional vent or political post cause we're human, but trauma dumping is something thats very hard for someone else to read and honestly should you be putting that kind of information online, the internet is a place of community but it also isnt safe.

B: The Value of Fandoms

It's time for some metrics, featuring my own follower count.

I've been on tumblr for 9 years and I have been making an effort to grow my base as a way of getting money as a freelancer (like you) so I started doing this allll the way back in highschool. I can remember each milestone and which fandom I got them in

1,000 I got when I was posting stuff for Undertale

2,000 I got when I was posting stuff for The Property of Hate

there was a big break between these milestones where I was just drawing ocs and object heads and stuff, but nothing I was hyperfixated on

5,000 I got from Hollow Knight

but then something really unexpected happened.

In late 2021 and early 2022 I decided cringe was a worthless social construct and decided to fully indulge in my enjoyment of doodling dragons.

I juuust inched past 5,000 when 2022 started. I Ended Up With 12,000 as 2022 ended. That's more than double. As of posting this I am at 13,600 and its only February.

So how did that happen? I could tout along and say that it was simply luck and I wasn't really making an effort anyway but that's a big fuckin lie, i've been "selling out" this whole time (it's not fucking selling out to post in fandom. You like a thing? You go to the thing's community and post about the thing)

Posting in a fandom is essentially like, now bear with me, advertising for your blog. Fandom is where the eyes are and where the traffic goes. Big tags like #artistsontumblr #tumblrart #art are used OFTEN but they're too general and often people look for things that are specific. Fandoms like Hollow Knight, BNHA, Mob Psycho, The Owl House, etc are currently popping off and have a lot of traffic.

This doesn't necessarily mean that you need to join a popular fandom to post your work in to get followers, it just means that if you're into a show or a media, post it on your main art blog and don't make side blogs. Keep it all together

Why?

Because 5% of those fandom people stick around for YOUR STUFF and those 5% of people are the best goddamn people in the world. You want those 5% to see EVERYTHING you do and THEY'RE the ones who will recommend you to THEIR friends and do outreach on your behalf because they like YOU and not YOUR STUFF.

i fuckin love those guys

So as you hop from fandom to fandom, you're going to lose some people but that's fine. Everyone curates their experience online and if you head off in a direction they don't like then they can deal with it. The rest come along for the ride cause 1: they either really like your stuff or 2: are into the new thing you're getting into.

SO ANYWAY

posting in fandoms under one name is GOOD because it puts everyone in the same bucket that will see your stuff and there's a chance that a few will stick just for your stuff. It is not cheap, its how you reach out to people to help cheer up their day and escape from things stressing them out.

C: What should you post?

So this is something that isn't an exact science but if you're looking to increase your follower count, this is something you can keep in mind.

Because this is the internet and the digital word of escaping from stress, people flock to things that are

1: Familiar 2: Funny 3: Relatable

So i've already been over fandoms and that's something that goes into the Familiar category. Familiar can also mean generalized but still popular concepts, like werewolves, dragons, vampires, apocalyptic scenarios, etc.

The more you trail into something niche, like marine biology, the seelie/unseelie courts, object heads, etc, the less traffic you'll find. There are communities centered around these but they're not massive like certain fandoms.

Which is how you end up with artists who spend hours upon hours on every piece only getting like 14 - 32 notes per piece. It's not lack of people caring or lack of interest, its the fact that these artists haven't "advertised" their blogs in fandom. Those people who end up caring about more personal posts are those 5% you find from fandom spaces. Their Familiar from that fandom begins to include your artwork as Familiar and thus they're more likely to share it.

Funny is simple. Tumblr is a platform of shitposts and memes. Do you have a favorite character in a fandom? Shitpost them. 2 birds with one stone, Familiar and Funny. I can't teach you how to be funny, but if you see something that makes you laugh online, pause and try to find out why and see if you can replicate it. (You wont get it in one go)

Relate-ability is also simple. If someone finds something they can easily associate with they will eagerly tag #mood #me or @ one of their friends in the post.

What doesn't get people following just by itself is your skill.

This sounds really fucking depressing but hear me out.

Your skill in art is a multiplier. It can take those three categories from above and BOOST IT to fantastic new heights. People love things that are from their fandoms that are funny and relate-able. People go FERAL for shit that is from their fandoms that are funny, relate-able AND COOL AS FUCK. If art represented x5 in an equation and you have nothing else, you get 0. If you include any of those three other things and then x5, you get something grand.

2. Sustaining your Audience.

If you want to set up your blog as a platform to eventually gain freelance income from, you need to make it yours and not your audience's.

This is key to prevent burnout and feeling obligation to create for thousands of featureless faces and losing sight of what made you enjoy art in the first place.

It is REALLY EASY to fall into that pit, especially as you grow your audience. When you have a small audience, it's easier to interact one on one with someone. Engagement is exciting when you have a small audience! People? Interested in your work!! Fuck yeah!!

But as you reach those milestones, the vibe begins to change. More and more people demand your attention. People who are new don't see you as an artist they knew from another fandom, they see you as a content creator and that is the worst goddamn stone wheel to get stuck around your neck.

You can still respond to requests and answer silly questions, but now you have to keep in mind that if you draw this little dragon for someone, three other people are going to ask for their own little dragons. And that's fine because you love dragons and they asked so nicely. You make those dragons but now there's seven people asking for their own dragons and you actually want to work on something other than dragons-- but you made those dragon doodles for those other people so wouldn't it be hypocritical to say no-

It becomes a spiral.

So to prevent that situation from happening, you need to respect your boundaries as an artist and what you will do and what you will draw the line at. If someone doesn't like you for that, they can unfollow.

In terms of posting regularly to sustain your audience, i've found that it helps but ultimately doesn't matter.

(this is a tumblr centric view, i cannot say the same for other platforms)

The way tumblr works resembles a massive recycling facility. You will see shit on your dash from 7 years ago but you dont mind, its how this place works.

It doesn't matter how often you post. You won't lose priority on people's dashboards if you don't make your daily art post. What matters is that you just make the post.

Each post you make is like sending out a bucket of chum into the grand ocean of tumblr. The more buckets of chum you have, the more likely you are to attract fish. The more you post the larger your radius is. The more variety you make in spreading out to different fandoms the wider your range is. And these spots of chum don't go away! They're permanent brown spots in a big blue wasteland and fish will stumble across it and then try to find the source.

Basically, you can disappear for an entire month and then suddenly return out of nowhere and shove 57 posts into a week and then disappear again and people will show up and stick around.

THis post is getting really long and there are probably some things im missing but my hadns are getting achy and i think that's my call to stop :p

if you have anymore questions tho im very willing to answer 👍

[snazzy-suit]

LLoG Progress Update!

Oh dang, it's almost April already?! January went on seemingly forever, February passed pretty normally, and March lasted, like, a week. Time is soup.

Anyway, I'm unfortunately a little behind schedule, though not by much! I was hoping to start posting the new chapters by the end of March, but they're not quite ready yet. I still have some editing and continuity checks to do, but the good news is, everything is completely written! 🎉

...and it's even longer than I anticipated 😭 As of now, before editing is complete, the total word count for all the upcoming chapters is 50,700.

50,700!

52,175 if I count the missing scene!

The last arc of what was SUPPOSED to be a short story turned into novel-length madness. Unbelievable! Why am I like this??

Here's where everything stands as of now:

Chapter 5.4 - Complete. Awaiting final continuity check. Word count: 8,220

Chapter 5.5 - Complete. Awaiting final continuity check. Word count: 7,104

Chapter 5.6 - Draft Complete. Undergoing edits. Current word count: 5,580

Chapter 5.7 - Draft Complete. Undergoing edits. Current word count: 8,097

Chapter 5.8 - Draft Complete. Undergoing edits. Current word count: 8,258

Chapter 5.9 - Draft Complete. Awaiting review. Current word count: 6,760

Chapter 5.10 - Draft Complete. Awaiting review. Current word count: 6,681

Some additional notes/tidbits:

Missing Scene - Takes place between the end of chapter 5.6 and about halfway through chapter 5.9. I couldn't figure out a way to include this that didn't feel jarring. If I like it enough, I'll post it separately from the main story. Current word count: 1,475

Chapter 5.7 is a flashback that was originally going to take place about halfway through chapter 5.6, but as you can see based on the word count, it got away from me. ^^' I decided to turn it into a separate chapter as a sort of "breather" between 5.6 and 5.8. I really enjoyed writing it, but there's a chance I may have to cut it from the main story if I feel it's too disrupting. If this is the case, I'll post it separately as another missing scene.

Chapter 5.4 is my white whale. It's undergone the most rewrites and is largely responsible for the long hiatus. I've found it's one of my least favorite chapters in this particular story and at this point I don't know if it's actually bad or if I'm just sick of looking at it 🫠

My disgruntled feelings for chapter 5.6 (the first half, anyway) rival that of chapter 5.4, which is unfortunate, because this chapter is supposed to be "The Big Reveal". Am I over-explaining things? Is this too vague? These are the questions I struggled with in this chapter and I don't know if I'll ever be satisfied with the results.

I never start a chapter knowing how long it's going to be. I just create an outline and go. As long as I check off all the major points in a satisfactory manner, I don't care if the chapter is 1,000 words or 8,000 words. That said, I try to avoid going over 10,000 words for any one chapter so as to not overwhelm readers (and myself) with a bunch of Things in a single sitting. So! When chapter 5.8 started cresting 15,000 words I was like "oh no" and immediately searched for a good spot to split it in two.

That's all I got for now! We're almost there, folks!

Tl;dr - if I don't start posting chapters by the end of April, feel free to shame me with an "L" in my DMs lol 🙈

[gillianthecat]

Gonna end my semi-intensive campaign for the best kiss bracket here. I can see the writing on the wall: I've looked at the number of voters in each poll, and not only is this round decided, I can already tell who will win the semi-finals and the finals.

I was having a lot of fun campaigning and analyzing and updating my posts. But it stopped being fun. The one I don't want to win is going to win it all, and in the next round campaigning for OFC over PatPran is going to feel unnecessarily divisive.

I went into it as a fun way to talk about BL kisses, but my hater's heart has emerged a little to strongly, which isn't fun for me.

At some point I may write about my thoughts and feelings about Kinnporsche. Both the show itself, and also the fandom around it; which fascinates and baffles me, and sometimes annoys me, and is pushing me to face the fact that in some ways I can't help but be a contrarian. Seeing something get super popular that I have mixed feelings about, or think is only ok, usually pushes me to the other direction and dislike the thing and see its flaws.

In general I also tend to get tired even of shows I love if I'm overexposed to them. So I have filters even for things I really liked, like The Eclipse, Bad Buddy and Big Dragon because I was reaching saturation point and didn't want to stop liking them.

None of this is self-knowledge that's new to me; I've been thinking about it vaguely all along, but this poll is pushing it to the forefront. Even though I assumed from the beginning KP would win, my feelings about seeing it beating out other shows are stronger than expected.

And on an intellectual level, I am just so fascinated by why it is THE show out of all BL shows that has developed such an enormous fandom. My impression is that most fans of BL are fans of the genre as a whole, or at least multiple shows, but that there are large numbers KP fans who are fans of only that. (I don't know if that's accurate though. I've drafted a poll to try and get some of the demographics of that, though I suspect my reach isn't big enough to get a enough responses to get any real answers about it.)

Don't get me wrong, I was completely absorbed when I binged the first half of the series in late June. And also went a little crazy over vegaspete when I binged the second half after the whole show was out. It was the show that got me talking on tumblr, and in that way was the first show that made me part of a "fandom." So I can see why people get obsessed with it. Just not sure why there are so many more than for other good BL shows.

Is it because iQIYI did such heavy advertising? I actually heard of the show several months before I even heard of BL, and then watched it mainly because iQIYI kept reminding me about it. For me, it became a gateway to BL more generally, but perhaps there are a lot of fans who just stopped with that?

Is there also a large group of people who were watching BL casually but weren't particularly BL fans, and then watched KP and thought it better than anything other BL? I've seen scattered comments with those opinions, but not sure how broad-spread it is. (I suppose if I'm feeling very curious and very brave I could go into the comments and reviews on KP's MDL page, which might give me some idea of numbers.)

With how my ADHD manifests, I don't have the attention span to become devoted to one show at the exclusion of all others, and so I can't really understand the mindset of fans who do fandom like that. (For any show, be it Star Wars or Marvel or The Untamed.) But I guess there are many people who do participate in fandoms that way? And KP is one of the shows that many of that style of fan found?

Is it the mafia plot? (there have been other mafia plots.) Is it how glossy and expensive it all looked, and the truly excellent cinematography? Is it how high heat the sex scenes were? (Were they significantly higher heat than anything previous though? Could be.)

Is there something about Kinn and Porsche as a couple that is particularly compelling to people? (I don't personally think so, certainly not compared to other BL couples. For me their story kinda petered out once they got together. And I found Mile's acting serviceable, but not that compelling, but I do see that he has lots of fans so perhaps it's just me.)

If so, what is unique about them? Enemies to lovers, boss-employee, torn between duty and love—I guess that combo is somewhat unique? I can't think of other shows off the top of my head now at least.

Is it the darkness and danger and plottiness of the mafia story? I know that sort of thing tends to engender obsessive fandoms. Are there other shows that have that too? I can see why if that's your thing, you wouldn't be into more slice of life BL like Old Fashion Cupcake or Semantic Error, or the youthful high jinx of most HS or Uni set shows.

Some combination of all of that? Some luck of timing? Did the advertising have a significantly bigger reach than for any other BL? With KP being my entry point into BL, I'm not able to compare with what the fandom was like before it came out.

Anyway, not sure if this is coherent, and absolutely NOT trying to start discourse. But if you do have theories you feel like sharing about how KP ended up with the fandom it has, I'd love to hear them. Or do you think I'm wrong and its fandom actually isn't unique for BL?

For context, the ten most popular BL shows on MDL are

The Untamed (2019) - 83,572

2Gether (2020) - 60,952

TharnType (2019) - 57,444

Until We Meet Again (2019) - 55,451

KinnPorsche (2022) - 52,838

Where Your Eyes Linger (2020) - 50,310

Semantic Error (2022) - 50,309

Theory of Love (2019) - 49,263

Bad Buddy (2021) - 48,411

Love By Chance (2018) - 46,652

I'm measuring "popularity" by the number of MDL users who list the show as watched. The show on MDL with the most watchers of everything is Goblin (aka Guardian: The Lonely and Great God) with 199,983.

The Untamed I would say has it's own fandom, overlapping with but distinct from BL fans. In some ways (other than heat levels) I can see it as a model of what might make KP so uniquely popular as well - complex plot, violent danger, and angst, and lovers kept apart by circumstance.

Most of the other shows on the list are popular Thai BL from three to four years ago, so it makes sense to me why they've accumulated lots of watchers. Where Your Eyes Linger, at number 6, surprised me, I don't hear much about it on tumblr these days and would have guessed it was much further down. KinnPorsche and Semantic Error are the newest shows on the list, coming out around the same time last year. But although I hear a lot of love for SE, I don't see it having an obsessive one-show fandom like KP does. I do see a lot of very devoted Bad Buddy fans, but again, most of them seem to also be general BL fans.

Addendum: (For the record, my assumption/prediction is that KP and PatPran will win their respective semifinals, and KP will win it all, by at least a 20 percentage point difference.)

[schwender-exe]

Devlog #2

Hello all again and welcome to devlog #2!

First up, we have tiles! While not the final look of them (to be honest I drafted them up to try them out, but I kinda dig the simplistic look?) they'll be what's making up the terrain in the game! After playing around with it for some time, I found it a hell of a lot easier to map out levels/rooms with these tiles than the old system I had in place.

Originally, what made up the terrain was Polygon2Ds with collision added on top of them and while it was easy to use, it made the terrain a bit to one-toned for my liking and made plotting out levels a bit of a nightmare because I could do any shape or angle or whatever with it, which sounds nice but... well a bit too much freedom can kill my creativity which is why the limitations of the tiles feels like the right balance.

Moving on to what's next: the curse I wrought upon myself. To be more specific? The story vs gameplay and my failure to plan ahead.

I'm not one to plan things out much, I tend to just go with the flow and address problems as they come into view, but that's been biting me in the ass for a bit now. You see, I sent out a test build about a month ago to some dev friends and I got some feedback which has stuck with me. "You need something in between when you arrive at Chloe's abode and when you meet Chloe." (Chloe being the mushroom-headed character). The reason it stuck with me is because I realized, while I had a story, I didn't really have much in terms of gameplay to smoothly fill in the beats in between. The problem with trying to shove gameplay into a story which didn't account for that, well... You can imagine it didn't go well. So here's my new plan. I'm scrapping the story I have so far and will be re-writing it with new gameplay in mind that'll hopefully flow together well. What kind of gameplay? well that's a tough call. I've been juggling ideas around in my head for weeks and none seem to stick, so far I've managed to get a swimming/floating kind of movement in game which seems fun, but I'll have to tinker around with it more before I can say it 'fits' anywhere. If anything, it was at least a fun exercise in the new state-based character controller I've made this time around for the player.

Well what about combat? That's always an easy one, well... I've shied away from that for some time as I thought combat would move the game in a direction of becoming like most other platformers out there where slapping in combat is a simple solve-it-all glue you can put anywhere. If I'm going to add in combat, I want it to be interesting, unique and of course, fun. I'll be experimenting with more movement options, possibility of combat, the use of items, etc. and will be sure to update next blog post with what I achieve.

Moving on from that, I've also been experimenting with dialogue! I've added on to my dialogue code and have added dialogue portraits which, I'm not sure how I feel about as of yet, honestly. I don't think I have enough to base my opinion on whether I'll keep it or not as I like having the dynamic poses of the overworld sprites. I might have it as a toggleable feature in future as to give players the option to view the overworld sprites or the visual novel-esq sprites.

I hope this devlog was an interesting read, I know I didn't seemingly make much in terms of progress, but with the circumstances I'm in it's been a bit of a bottleneck in productivity. I hope next devlog I'll be in a better spot to provide more to show.

[demystifiedstardust]

Seelies

Not the mythological kind, the Gen//shin kind.

Ever since I started playing this dumb game, they've been driving me insane.

Cw unreality

Why do they look like that? Why are they that color?? That shape??? Why do they have that transparency and flow????

I dropped my tablet the first time I encountered one in Wind//rise. Why? Because that likeness has a very personal significance to me.

Way back in the day when I was quite young, we had a school assignment to draw god (outing my location through this anecdote immediately?? Rip to my cool guy persona). I (wisely imo) didn't turn in the assignment, but if I had followed through, my drawing would not have been supply-side Je//sus but rather a seelie. That same shape, that same color. Albeit much... larger. Much, much larger. Incomprehensiblely large. But still, the spitting image of Gen//shin's seelies.

The world has no shortage of coincidences, and I'm willing to believe this is one hell of a coincidence that I've found myself part of. But I really, really want to know what the design process was like for seelies. Why did the devs choose that likeness specifically? What design considerations were there? Are there discarded drafts? If I could get more information, it would put my overactive brain to rest. Or maybe make it worse, depending on the answers I get. HYV is a large, well-oiled machine of a company, so there must be some market-research reason behind their decision.

...but would I truly be satisfied with an artbook-commentary-style answer? Because at the end of the day, the way that design got into Genshin is only trivia. The real thing I'm grappling with is how to reconcile the divine avatar of my childhood independently cameoing in a video game. Of course, it can't be just any video game, but it has to be the same one that gave a name to my twin, and the same one that gave me a stable sense of fictional self that slotted itself oh-so-slowly-and-seamlessly into my life that I don't see a point disambiguating the "Aether" out of the "me" nowadays (and melusines, I guess, though that's more of an if-the-glove-fits thing). (...and the whale. But that's whole other post to screech about).

It's literally just a video game, meant to have mass appeal. But why does it seem to go beyond that? How does it manage to consistently target intimate parts of my life in such hyperspecific ways?? People joke about instead-of-brain-it's-[interest] but this damn thing is hopelessly rooted into my mind, and every time I think I'm getting used to the flow of things, it finds another way to poke holes into my sense of... self? sense of reality?

Like, I know the devs aren't reaching into my head and pulling out my memories, because that's not a thing. That's literally impossible, and even if it were somehow possible (and I want to reiterate that it's not possible and I don't believe it to be so), they would have no reason to do that. There's no benefit. But damn if it doesn't evoke a similar feeling to my memories being in there.

It annoys me greatly not just because it sounds so fake, but also because I'm not a fan of metaphysical thinking as applied to myself. It would be easy to call this evidence of [insert popular metaphysics], but I will never personally be satisfied with that. (Note: I support spirituality, and metaphysical beliefs are valid! I just have baggage to work through surrounding my own experiences.)

(Note 2: I realize this makes my shark past life hypocritical, but to go into it more deeply would derail the post, so it will have to wait for another time.)

Big props to the devs for sending me through such a mindfuck. Every major story update has me wondering what new plot beats are going to ripple through my life as though I'm a raft on a stormy sea. Ughhh.

[suzyq31]

Found Update and Note

I updated Found with the last bit of writing I did on this story. I've also included a note that I'll copy at the bottom of this post. The image below is from one of the films that has inspired me (Aftersun, cannot recommend it enough, but be prepared to sob). So this story is now officerly on hiatus, and I have no plans to share publicly moving forward. If we are mutuals on here, please don't fret. I'll find a way to share with you when it's done ❤️

Hi,

I’ve been posting a note with my updates. If you’ve missed it, you can read it here. This update and this note are a little different.

Back in August a reader reached out to me on tumblr and shared some of what was being said about this story on discord. Since then I’ve done my best to ignore the queasy feeling whenever I update. Sharing your work can feel daunting, especially when you know that people are waiting to find plot holes, criticize your character's choices to the point of making fun of it etc. There’s no joy when you have that hanging over your head. I started this story solely for my own enjoyment, and to challenge myself, and I miss that.

I want to listen to my gut feeling—which is that I won’t finish this story unless I take it back for myself. And I really want to finish it. I’ve watched some amazing films recently with 11 year old protagonists, and it’s stirred up my desire to reconnect with this story. But in order to do this I have to pull back from sharing, which is why I have decided I won’t be continuing on Ao3. I didn't want to just leave a note, which is why I have included the first half of Chapter 18, the rest is still in draft form as I've lost all momentum and the negativity just made me doubt every choice/idea.

I’m aware that there are far more lovely readers than those who like to tear apart others' work in public spaces, which is why I wanted to take my time with this decision. Also it’s not about punishing anyone and I don’t want this to come across as being done in anger. There are more important causes to focus that energy on. Instead this is about being honest. Words shared in those spaces do impact writers, and from what I’ve been hearing from readers, it affects them too. I don’t have power over how people choose to show up and engage in this fandom. What I can control is my own actions and decisions. I’m working hard on trusting myself more, now and in the future. So I give myself grace if future me ever feels differently, I trust her. For now, this is what feels right.

For those readers I've connected with over the years, I hope that I’ll find a way to share this privately whenever it’s done, even if it’s missing some scenes and not as polished as I normally aim for. I have as much desire to start a discord group, as I do having my soul sucked out by a dementor, so I really haven’t come up with a solution on how to share this other than maybe through DMs at some point in the (likely far) future.

Alright, this is kind of a bummer of a post, and I’m sorry to let anyone down. But I’m no longer prioritizing other people’s feelings over my own needs. Something that is hard when you’ve been a lifelong people pleaser.

I hope this can leave on a more positive note. If you want fandom to feel like a kinder place, make it one! The smallest step but also the most meaningful is commenting on more stories. Especially if they don’t have many comments, or if it’s an author’s first story and you want to encourage them. I know it would probably make their day. I’ll link the Harmony Directory as there are so many great stories to choose from.

All the best, Suzy

[peyton-warren]

My favorite fic of yours Although I fell in l've with your writing with "The Hidden Sun" this has to be "Blinded By The Fog" I just love all the characters so much!

My favorite chapter in my favorite fic of yours Chapter 4 of Blinded By The Fog. I re-read this so many times. Always finding all these little scenes that melt my heart. And then that last little words “Ni-night, baby.”  It always breaks me and I'm sobbing like a baby 😭

A fic I haven't read yet from you, but I want to Stick handling series. It's sitting in my drafts for a long time and I swear I will get to it, promised

What made me the most emotional after reading

Already mentioned it, but it is just so, so heartbreaking!

“Ni-night, baby.” 

What I like the most about your writing

Your characters are so full of life, they have their own personality, their flaws, they are loveable. Also, you get emotions out of me with your work, it's just wonderful!

A fic i'm excited for you updating/posting

Well, it's no secret that I hope to see an update on Blinded By The Fog...

Something I wish/hope you write

Anything that makes you happy ad comfortable!

If i've ever shared/talked about your fic to someone else

Yes, I did! Because you need to be praised! You're such a talent!

A fic I didn't expect to like so much

Arresting and arrested - I send you this ask but I didn't think to get THAT! And damn, it was so much better than everything I had expected. This man hanging from the Ceiling is plastered into my mind!

My dear @peyton-warren You have an alley in me and I will always do my best to support you. I know you're having a hard time. Just know that there are people who really love what you create! Because I do! 🥰

Found this in my inbox when i got a new ask tonight. This has been sitting there entirely too long . First of all thank you for your kind words and support. You know how crappy of a day I had today, and how many tears I shed. And this ask brought more tears to my eyes but for good reasons!

Your Favorite Fic of mine: I didn't know you started out with Hidden Sun, I am glad you liked that one. its one of my first here on tumblr and that first chapter holds a special place in my heart. I know how much you love Blinded by the Fog, you are my #1 cheerleader on that one, and I really appreciate as I try to get more of it out.

Your Favorite Chapter of a Fic of Mine: Chapter 4 of Blinded hits me more and more every time I reread it. And once I wrote your ask about the behind the scenes of how Sy was feeling, it is now a whole other level. I didn't intend for him to have so much feeling in that chapter, but man he breaks my heart too.

Something of mine you haven't read yet- I know that one is no longer true because you were able to help me brainstorm Chapter 8!

Whay you like most about my writing: Thank you hon. I honestly just write what the characters tell me to write, and I dont intentionally try to draw out emotions. I do love writing, and I love telling a good story. I am glad it comes across in the writing.

Writing you are looking forward to me writing/posting: It is no surprise at all you want me to post the next chapter of Blinded. And I appreciate your patience as I work through my own stuff as i try to get past this writer's block. And trust me, you will probably be the first person to know I when i finish that chapter.

something you wish I'd write: make me cry why don't you, Nina.

You telling others about my work: I don't think anyone has shared my work as much as you have, ever. I appreciate all of your support, and you telling others about my writing. It means so so much to me, more than you could ever know.

The fic that you were surprised by: I think that fic surprised many people, especially me. your prompt threw that scene in my head and I just wrote it down verbadum as I saw it in my brain. I need to get back to that. Tell the rest of the story that's in my head.

Again, Nina, I just I have no words for your support and how much it means to me. I keep saying thank you, and telling you it means the world to me, but even that does not cover how much you mean to me. Thank you, my friend from the bottom of my heart. You are a such a rare treasure and i value you so. Whether we are talking dogs, hairy titties, or fic, I always love seeing you pop up in my asks, dms and feed. Thank you for being you.

[septemberrie]

Battle Lines is a comfort read for me and I was VERY interested to note that a particular chapter (Renegotiation II not that I have it memorised or anything) has had some tweaks made to it (all of which I love, btw. I think you mentioned you were keen to rewrite it a bit and I think the updated version is 👌).

I was also very excited to see you updated the chapters to be 21/22. This isn’t a “hurry up and write an epilogue” comment, but more of a “how you feeling about it?” comment, because I think you also said you didn’t realise there’d be such an appetite and hadn’t originally planned for one. Is it nice to be writing it because so many people want it, or is that like, a lot of pressure?

Oh goodness waking up to this ask was just 🥰🥰🥰 thank you Dexter!!

Yes I did update Renegotiation II but I didn't make a public announcement, partly bc I didn't think many people would notice but I stand corrected 😅🤩 I've gotten a few comments and they have all been very kind, so I'm very grateful it's been received well. I've been summarizing it as "a little less spicy but a little more true to the characters" so I hope it came across that way to you, too!

This so funny lmao I feel like I've been caught with my hand in the cookie jar! I have almost finished the epilogue, I'm 99% sure I'll post it today. I did notice yesterday when I was futzing around with ao3 to draft the author's note, etc that it showed as 21/22 but since I just saved a draft I assumed that only I would see that change. Guess not lolol you're an amazing unintentional sleuth 😂😂

But to answer your question, I am finally feeling good about it. It took me a couple days after I posted the climactic chapter that the ending, as written, wasn't "neat" so much as "pithy" and after some reflection I decided it was not what I wanted. I am a people-pleaser so while I'll say yes, I felt pressure, it's not because of anything anyone ever said or did, it's definitely a "me" problem of internalizing the toxic notion that "if you're not producing then you don't deserve to be part of the fandom" which we all know cognitively is bullshit but that little voice is always there for me.

That's why I allowed myself about 4-6 weeks off to decide if it was really something I wanted to do, and by then I'd had some time and distance and there were ideas I wanted to share about what happens after the curtain falls and at a certain point, I'm a writer so why not spell it out within the story as a slice-of-life epilogue rather than as an addendum outside of it.

So. I'm happy with it, fluff is a challenge for me but I found some ways to balance it. It does make it easier to write after I've finally accepted that it is a good enough story that readers will forgive a little hokey-ness 🥰 Thank you for asking! Writing is hard but rambling about my writing never is!!

[txtaetertots]

hellooo all~

i've been feeling kinda icky since last night and i don't feel comfortable updating my au just yet until i address this myself. i hope you don't mind.. and also anyone who didn't know about this i hope you don't get turned off from my aus over this 😭

i've already sent fairybinie a dm about it but i feel like i owe it to their followers to address it to them personally as well because i'm aware they're keeping tabs on me and my smau. i had a feeling that ask i received about my inspiration was a little weird bc people don't normally ask that especially in that manner. thought i was just overthinking it and just brushed it off. but it got the best of me and after some digging i found kdt as well as the asks and comments on fairybinie's blog about me and my smau.

i understand their followers believe my au is plagiarizing fairybinie's au kiss don't tell. and i can totally see how you could assume that given that our synopses are practically identical aside from a few key plot points. same general idea though with the whole hs drama club aspect. and i can assure you that i did not intentionally steal fairybinie's idea. i promise you this was entirely my original idea. it's just a really crazy coincidence i guess.

this idea has been in my drive since 2021. the original idea was slightly different to what i have now but it's still the same main concept. that was last modified a year ago in may 2022. here's a screenshot of the doc details as well as the general idea i had for the fic!

then, january 2023, i revisted the document and drafted the current version in my notes app. i was going to post in january but i was very busy with school so i decided to postpone it until summer when i could ensure i had more time. which is also why a majority of my character profiles list their creation date as january 2023 since.. that's when i created them.. :')

i don't prefer to seek inspiration from reading other people's works (but now i'm thinking i should at least review some when i do get an idea so i can avoid this again bc wow big oof on my end). i usually get it from consuming big media like tv, films, music, etc. which is how i got this idea. i watched movies like hairspray and grease which influenced how the current version of my au came to be.

again. i'm truly so sorry that i've caused so many of you to worry. that was never my intention and i'm sorry it appeared to be that way. and i don't blame any of you for reacting and moving the way you did! it was totally valid and fairybinie is very lucky to have people who care so deeply about their work and efforts. but i hope you accept my explanation and apology or at least understand where im coming from and believe me.

hopefully this doesn't deter anyone from giving my works a chance or continuing to read hopelessly devoted tho.. i was really looking forward to sharing my ideas with you guys but i feel like my name has already been tainted without having a proper chance to even create a name for myself yet 💀 sorrows sorrows

i will be updating my au again soon. had a bit of writers block bc i just could not get this issue out of my head. it felt wrong trying to update and ignore the issue when i know there are people watching me like a hawk with negative connotations. pls don't be mad.. 🥲

((if you don't want to continue reading hopelessly devoted tho i totally understand i mean this isn't the greatest image i've got going on right now but thank you at least for giving me a chance!))