#(tolkien au though............that one's really kicking my ass)

[lacomandante]

modern au!

send me an au and i’ll give you 5+ headcanons about it

This made me laugh bc you know how much I've bitched to you about how complicated a modern au is for Teresa :P

While in the main verse Teresa is from Casatejada (Western Spain), in the modern au I think she would have been raised in Barcelona for a good chunk of her childhood, and her family moved to Western Spain, presumably to be with her father's family. So she's both Catalan and a Spaniard and is proud of her heritage. I don't think they would live in Casatejada though, so I haven't settled just yet on where exactly.

I think Teresa works for a government body of some sort- possibly the UN (for this AU I would pretend there was a location in Madrid for her to work at) where she gets sent out to help others, possibly with Women's Health and Rights in third world countries. But again, it's really hard to translate canon events to a modern day without ethical implications...which is why I'm more vague and never settled on a concrete idea. Just something that allows her to be in a dangerous location and meet Sharpe out in the field, but also aligns with her character :P

Teresa and Sharpe actually get to see each other way more in the modern au than the main one bc PHONES and planes and internet! Yay! With him in the military and her constantly working it's difficult to meet up, but Teresa's work allows her to work from home or elsewhere, so either she spends Sharpe's leave with him in London, or he stays with her in Madrid.

Teresa ends up moving to London into Sharpe's flat after a few years. They were never able to fully commit to moving in together because of their jobs and duties, but eventually the distance and time spent away became too much. They wanted to spend time together, and even when they had to say goodbye, they always could look forward to seeing each other. They wanted to wake up beside each other, have their slippers side by side, do laundry and dishes and cook together. They don't like staying in their respective flats without the other because wherever they are is home, and when he finally asks her to stay for good, she agrees and they make love. She moves in very soon after, as she found out they were going to be parents! Teresa still keeps her flat in Madrid, as she does still have to go back from time to time, and having her family to help is invaluable to her when Sharpe is abroad.

When Antonia is old enough and Sharpe finishes his 20 year contract with the army, they decide to move back to Spain and live in Toledo. With Sharpe retired he's very excited to be a househusband and spend his time with Antonia, and Teresa goes to the city to work or works from home. Sharpe likes to update her on the shenanigans their daughter gets up to during the day and he has a beautiful garden in their backyard and Teresa never thought she could be so happy.

Teresa's time in London made her realize just how bland Spanish cuisine is. Sharpe introduces her to roast beef and gravy, wigan kebabs, fish and chips, tikka masala....she loves gravy and can't get enough of it. She learns to make English food when Sharpe stays with her in Spain, and she had a lot of cravings during her pregnancy that thankfully could be sated in London :P

[theoryandahalf]

I just realized I have literally no time & skill to write the Fnaf au/joking because it'd take forever

seriously though, why does everyone want to give students homework. I go to school , that should be enough :/

In a question I swear is relevant , team theorists as types teachers

MatPat would probably be English - don't ask my why he just gives english teacher vibes

I'm pretty sure there are studies that show too much homework is ineffective but don't quote me on it. Hang in there pal, fanfic can wait for the weekend.

I kinda agree Matt gives off Dead Poets Society vibes but I think he's said on record he hated English classes (was I the only one shocked that MatPat doesn't read?!). If he's teaching high school, yeah he's the AP Lit professor. If he's teaching college, he's the really young, oversharing Psych101 professor who's really cool but you also know too much about his wife, kid and cat, and his weekend hobbies. He's overcommitted on five hundred faculty committees and faculty Senate. He's won Teacher/Professor of the Year five times and he's not even 40 yet. In his spare time he consults for Google.

My other guesses:

Stephanie: Chemistry Professor or high school Chem teacher. God help you poor kids in her class, she's the strictest grader and the only time she unwinds is when Mr. Patrick sneaks into her classroom in between break periods. You know nothing about her personal life. Is she married to Mr. Patrick/Dr Patrick, or are they just friends?! Unless you have Mr Patrick and he overshares about her, you won't know, and you never will.

Lee: Bad ass History teacher all the way, in university and high school. He's also the advisor for the academic decathlon team. He's the chillest teacher ever and he'll let you sleep in his class. Just don't disrespect Tolkien in his presence.

Amy: Art teacher in high school, teaches fashion and design at the college level. She gives off 'mean teacher' vibes because most people only see her interact with Mr. Massa and Mr. Robinson and she often rips them a new one for being too loud and obnoxious. But she's actually fantastic to have in class and you learn a lot from her.

You also work your butt off. Don't take her as an elective.

Tom: ...I have no idea. I guess choir director? Tom is dyslexic and ADHD so teaching would be a hard profession for him. I can see him doing choir/show choir at the high school level though. He seems to give really good advice on his streams so maybe he's a school guidance counselor or adviser.

Santi: Physical education or kinesiology professor. He beefs with Mr. Robinson all the time because he keeps stealing his best football players for his stupid little drama club. Clearly PE is superior because there's more sports scholarships than there are art, so Tom is really just bringing down the entire school. Mr. Massa is also a very chill teacher, he'll let you skip class so long as Mr. Patrick doesn't notice you're not at the all school assembly (because he will notice).

Ash: The overburdened AV instructor/school librarian/media specialist in the Theorist high school. For college, they are the media librarian that just wants you to return the dvd copy of Return of the King, LEE. Ash never has enough money or time in any incarnation but they are the most cheerful and bad ass LGBTQ+ student club advisor you've ever had. Lies to homophobic parents and says they're just a gaming club because you do usually end up discussing FNAF lore for hours until Ms. Cordato knocks on the door to politely kick you all out because its 5pm.

BONUS

Head Editor Dan: Animation professor or creative writing teacher at Theorist High. Also does freshmen homeroom so he's constantly in pain and in need of coffee. Gives off 'don't mess with me' vibes but is a real sweetheart if you get to know him. But what you don't know is that he's pitching five different tv pilots and one of these days he will just randomly disappear because his show was bought by ABC. Ten years from now you'll see his name in the credits of your favorite show as the Executive Producer.

[grey-gazania]

Self-rec time! What are your favorite five fics that you've written and why? After replying to this ask, feel free to pass on to five other writers to spread the love. 💗 — @emyn-arnens

My dear @emyn-arnens, you sent this to me weeks ago, and I saw it and then unfortunately forgot to answer it, because Real Life has been kicking my ass, so I want both to thank you for the ask and to apologize for how long this took me.

My 5 Favorite Fics (Which Are Not Necessarily My 5 Best Fics)

Loyalty (yes I know this is actually a series, not a fic, hush)

In some ways this series is the bane of my existence, and in other ways it's one of my favorite things I've ever started written. I began planning it in 2011, began posting it in 2015, and, uh, still haven't finished it, whoops, because I think I need to drastically restructure the whole thing before I can proceed. But I've had a lot of fun creating my conlang, and Tókhesh/Tavoreth is one of my favorite OCs I've ever come up with for any fandom, not just Tolkien. I also really wanted to give the Easterlings the chance to be well-developed people in a well-developed society, instead of just being a glorified plot device, and I like to think that I've succeeded.

Unconscious Arithmetic

This story is by now quite old, written in 2011, but it was both my first foray into writing Caranthir and my first attempt at writing in 1st person -- a style I've since found works particularly well for Caranthir, or at least for my version of him. It was also my second story featuring Parmacundë, though she had yet to earn that epessë at the time this story is set, and was the beginning of my plan to work her into the broader story of The Silmarillion. I think I conveyed a particularly vivid picture of how I imagine adolescent Caranthir and what kind of person he might risk befriending.

The Flight of Birds

I hold great affections for the Kidnap Family, as you have probably noticed, but damn, those poor twins must have been pretty messed up by the time they were returned to their parents' people. Transitions are hard even when you haven't began kidnapped and raised by the people who tried to murder your mother, and I thought it would be interesting to explore the turmoil the twins must have felt through Elrond's eyes. I feel like Elros often ends up getting treated as the conflicted twin, while Elrond is the one who is wise and serene, but I think Elrond should get the chance to be an angry adolescent full of turmoil, too.

Root and All

This story is a favorite less because of anything I've done with the characters and more because writing it was a trip down memory lane. I spent large swaths of my summers as a child at a camp in the NJ Highlands, where we spent a lot of time hiking in the woods and swamps and learning about the nature that surrounded us. My fondness for those hikes and that part of NJ was really the driving force behind this story. I first encountered and learned about both ghost pipe and water hemlock at summer camp, which are the two plants that anchor this story.

Darkness and Light

Bet you guys were starting to think we'd get through this list without any representatives from my Woman King AU, but fat chance! The Woman King AU is my life's work, and this is my favorite installment of it. It's short, but I think I did a very good job of portraying Ereiniel's grief and pain following Fingon's death. Fingon and the shadows he cast after his death were a massive influence on the woman Ereiniel grew into, the Gil-galad she became. In some ways the Woman King AU is just as much about Fingon and his wife as it is about Ereiniel, because their choices, successes, and failures echo down to their daughter and shape the woman she grows into.

[tossawary]

Because my brain does NOT stop even when I’m grounded, today my brain told me, “Hey, I figured out how to make a Hobbit Fusion AU work.” And I was like, “Great! We’re working, though.” And my brain was like, “I’ve figured out how to make it a Pre-Canon Canon Divergence AU for Moshang.”

And I was like, “...I’m listening.”

The Hobbit is another one of my Comfort Media and it got brought up when I was asking about that, but I was feeling kind of “eh” about mixing Tolkien mythology with SVSSS. I mean, the mental picture of Dwarf Mobei-Jun is extremely funny and Shang Qinghua would make a great hobbit! But that interpretation felt a little too direct for my AU tastes.

So, hm, now I have another potential Big Bang contender. My love for The Hobbit is very, VERY strong and looking at my current outline, I have to be like, “Yeah, this could be 50,000 words, no problem.”

It’s a very good outline!

-

After saving Mobei-Jun, Shang Qinghua bailed A.S.A.P. because he honestly thought Mobei-Jun was going to kill him. He psyched himself out of sticking around before Mobei-Jun woke up. Mobei-Jun didn’t get enough information to track Shang Qinghua down.

Shang Qinghua (who isn’t SQH because he isn’t the Peak Lord) decides that he can’t fucking take it anymore and bails from Cang Qiong Mountain Sect too. The System objects, but also falls into line when Airplane shrieks at it. Airplane is going to go become a humble merchant and inventor and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop him!

It turns out that Shang Qinghua’s presence or help was actually crucial to stop some Emperor of the Abyss from taking over the Ice Palace and the Northern Desert. Airplane is like, “Oh, yeah, I remember… offhandedly writing something about that happening in the past off-screen?” It was one of those things that he just threw in there because it sounded really cool, and it gave Mobei-Jun another reason to “owe” Shang Qinghua and not kill him immediately, but he never got to elaborate on it because he was too busy writing stallion novel bullshit.

So, borrowing the lore from my “Horns” one-shot, an extremely powerful Emperor of the Abyss escaped the Eternal Abyss. This is some devouring horror being from the depths of the abyss, which ate everything in its vicinity in the abyss itself and crawled into the Demon Realm to eat more things. The Emperor of the Abyss was attracted to Mobei-Jun’s father. They fought. Mobei-Jun’s father should have won, but didn’t, because he was too fucked up (thanks to his own hedonism or something) to fight properly. What an asshole.

Mobei-Jun’s father was killed and devoured by the Emperor of the Abyss, which has made it… exponentially powerful. It’s now… basically a calamity. The desolation that it leaves in its wake across the Northern Desert is unspeakable. Mobei-Jun and his family, their allied clans, and pretty much all demons in the Northern Desert have had to flee.

Mobei-Jun is currently essentially a “guest” of the Sha Clan. He’s homeless. He’s lost the power of his ancestors. He’s a “king” without a kingdom. It’s humiliating. He needs to kill the abyssal creature to retrieve: his title, his ancestors’ power, and his kingdom.

While working for other demon clans to support his family and people, Mobei-Jun crosses paths with Airplane. Airplane has become a relatively successful merchant and inventor, and he calls himself Shang Houhua. He lives a very comfortable life and does his best to ignore anything resembling the plot. He’s pretty successful at ignoring the plot.

Mobei-Jun is never in a good mood these days, but he’s especially pissed off to see that human who abandoned him all those years ago. Airplane tries to argue that Mobei-Jun told him to fuck off, but Mobei-Jun is too angry. Airplane makes lots of offers in an effort to get Mobei-Jun to spare his life, one of which ends up being a claim that he can help Mobei-Jun kill the Emperor of the Abyss and make him a king again. Mobei-Jun pauses, now even more pissed off than before, and Airplane just starts babbling desperately to save his own skin.

Mobei-Jun was already forming a company to take on a Quest for the Northern Desert - in the hopes of slaying the Emperor of the Abyss and retaking his homeland. Part of the issue has been that forming the company is difficult. Mobei-Jun wants people who are loyal to HIM and ONLY to him. He won’t owe anyone else anything or promise them pieces of his homeland.

(Airplane is like, “Bro, I don’t know if you can afford to be so picky, but okay.”)

So Mobei-Jun is like… “I still want to kill you, but fine, you can come on our quest and help us.”

So Airplane ends up on the Quest for the Northern Desert, led by his very angry future murderer the “king without a kingdom” Mobei-Jun, to fight the calamitous Emperor of the Abyss who killed Mobei-Jun’s father. Fuck.

Some details beyond this opening premise:

Airplane and Mobei-Jun fall in love over the course of the quest, obviously. They have their own hijinks like each chapter of The Hobbit (equivalents to the trolls, to Rivendell, to Goblintown, to Beorn, to Mirkwood, and to Laketown, etc.). 

Oh, damn, I just realized that making a pre-fall Tianlang-Jun and Zhuzhi-Lang the Beorn equivalents would be so fucking funny.

The Emperor of the Abyss is a horrifying Smaug equivalent. It can totally talk because Airplane having a conversation with a draconian horror sounds incredible. I would love to have Airplane outwit the Emperor of the Abyss in some fashion.

Mobei-Jun and Airplane somehow manage to successfully kill the Emperor of the Abyss together. Like, together. Probably using some plot device whipped up or some clever plan devised by Airplane on his feet. Mobei-Jun trusts Airplane at a crucial moment and it all works out. Airplane actually gets Mobei-Jun his kingdom back.

I’m tempted to just skip over the Ring and not having a Ring equivalent. BUT if I made this into a longfic instead of a one-shot, I would have a Ring equivalent (if it was a one-shot, I would ditch the Ring equivalent). I think I would make Xin Mo the One Ring equivalent. During the Goblintown equivalent event, Airplane falls either into the Eternal Abyss or into Bing-Ge’s dimension, where he proceeds to successfully take up Xin Mo because he knows the trick and portal himself out of the Eternal Abyss, or he proceeds to outwit Bing-Ge in some fashion and uses the Xin Mo sword to portal himself back to the right dimension.

So then Airplane is stuck with this super powerful sword that he doesn’t want to use again because he KNOWS that it will fuck him up. He KNOWS that it will FUCK HIM UP. So Airplane has to go through the rest of the quest ignoring the temptation of the Xin Mo sword that he is absolutely not supposed to have and can’t possibly let anyone else have.

(Oh, man, imagining the influence of Xin Mo giving Airplane extra horny thoughts about Mobei-Jun on the rest of the quest is very funny. Like, Airplane was already hot for Mobei-Jun, but now it’s worse and he might never have a normal thought ever again.)

Bagginshield Movie Hug when Airplane turns up again, for sure. Mobei-Jun thought he was dead. Mobei-Jun smiles and everything, until he remembers to frown again.

I’m feeling like I don’t want Airplane to use Xin Mo to help defeat the Emperor of the Abyss, but it makes sense if he does. Him not using it doesn’t make much sense. I do like the idea of Airplane dealing the killing blow and Mobei-Jun’s pride being hurt by Airplane being the one to kill it. I also like the idea of Mobei-Jun being a little smitten by Airplane just… loyally handing him his kingdom and restoring the power of his ancestors. I also really like the idea of Airplane just… not having some super powerful plot device up his sleeve on the quest.

Like, instead of Airplane’s Author God knowledge totally setting him up to deal with this thing no problem, Airplane had NO FUCKING PLAN when he set out with Mobei-Jun. He was talking completely out of his ass when he said he knew how to help Mobei-Jun. That this all worked out at all is almost completely due to luck and improvisation.

That feels MUCH more true to both Shang Qinghua and to Bilbo Baggins. Lucky lads of fast-talking, complaining, lying, not knowing what the fuck is really going on, thirsting after kings with tragic backstories, and somehow not dying despite winging it all the time.

Instead of goldsickness, Mobei-Jun is forced to deal with some side-effects of consuming the Emperor of the Abyss to regain the power of his ancestors. (Demon cannibalism rituals. Yeah.) He starts acting really scary and out-of-character and forceful, until Airplane loses his nerve and runs away. Maybe under the influence of the late Emperor of the Abyss, Mobei-Jun actually tries to kill him? I could see Mobei-Jun trying to kill Airplane for the Xin Mo sword which dealt the finishing blow on the Emperor of the Abyss.

(I need a better name for this thing. If I can’t come up with something that actually sounds good, I might just call it “The Calamity”, but that’s giving me BOTW vibes so I don’t like it. Maybe I’d call it “The Desolation” or something? Ehhhh, I don’t really like that either.)

I want to have a Battle of the Five Armies equivalent, if only so Tianlang-Jun and Zhuzhi-Lang can swoop in as benevolent helpers as the Beorn equivalents. Currently, I’m seeing three options. 1) The orc army equivalent are neighboring demon lords who want to strike while the new Mobei-Jun is getting established. 2) The orc army equivalent is Linguang-Jun trying to kill his nephew and take power at the last minute. 3) The orc army equivalent is Bing-Ge here with an army and he’s pissed off and wants his sword back.

On one hand, 1 and 2 would be SO MUCH EASIER to pull off. I could be really lazy about the whole thing. On the other hand, 3 would be much fresher (more surprising and links back to the Xin Mo element), more challenging and the idea of pre-fall Tianlang-Jun facing off with Bing-Ge delights me. Kick his ass, Tianlang-Jun!

(Su Xiyan gets involved? My brain says YES. Kick his ass, Su Xiyan!)

Also, I was sad about there being no Fili and Kili equivalents, because Mobei-Jun has no friends, and I’ll have to make up a company pretty much from scratch. (Sha Hualing is too young and Luo Binghe hasn’t been born yet.) BUT then I was like, “Where’s Linguang-Jun in all this?” And I would absolutely have Linguang-Jun be a part of Mobei-Jun’s Company. Instead of nephews, Mobei-Jun has a sketchy uncle who might be trying to kill him. Keeping Linguang-Jun out of it might be easier, but actually doing some character-building with him sounds fun and challenging, and I’d rather limit the number of OCs if possible.

Mobei-Jun manages to shake off the goldsickness equivalent somehow, probably through “the power of love” (and/or straight-up “dual cultivation” with Airplane?). Moshang makes up while Mobei-Jun is apparently mortally wounded from fighting Bing-Ge and Airplane thinks this is all his fault. But Mobei-Jun doesn’t die! It’s all good!  

It’d be pretty funny if there was a “Returning to the Shire” equivalent where Airplane leaves because he thinks Mobei-Jun hates him now and never wants to see him again. So then Mobei-Jun has to track his man down like, “Get back here and marry me. (Also I am so sorry for trying to kill you. Please forgive me. I hate myself so much for that.)”

And they all live happily ever after!

Holy shit, this wasn’t in Proud Immortal Demon Way.

[phoenixisbored]

Okay. I’m back with my Sansûkh read through. I am so sorry it took so long for me to do this chapter. Several things came up that had to take priority in my life and some stuff had to be put to the side so I could deal with it. But don’t worry, most everything has been sorted out and I’m ready to get back to it! So,without further ado…

Sansûkh Chapter 5: Reactions/Review

The audio of The Dwarves’ Walking Song was really good! It reminded me of Erutan’s music, which I’m a huge fan of. Excellent job!

Gosh, I love Glóin’s family. Almost every fanon depiction of them is just so wholesome and this one is no exception. Bombur’s family is giving them a run for their money though!

I really appreciate the little meetup of Bilbo and the dwarves from the Blue Mountains and some of the company. I’ve always found it sad that Bilbo, as far as we know, doesn’t reconnect with the members of the company. However, Tolkien does leave plenty of gaps in his story that can be filled with moments like this, which is used to full advantage.

I see what you’re doing, determamfidd, with that early interaction between Bilbo and Gimli. I think in LotR, Bilbo was just a part of a story to Gimli, but by actually seeing and talking to Bilbo he has a better understanding of both Bilbo and hobbits in general. I imagine this will add more significance to future conversations he has with Frodo in the future.

It’s really cool seeing all the different artistic renderings of various characters. Not only does it add visuals to the story, but it demonstrates how much of writing and storytelling is dependent on the interpretation, imagination and environment of the reader.

😆 Conkers.

Man, the end of the chapter was particularly hard for Bilbo in particular.

The meeting of Bilbo and Dís held a lot of weight for both characters. Under happier circumstances, they would have greeted each other as family, and I think they both know it. Instead, however, they are overwhelmed with their own grief. They both see the echoes of what was and what could have been in each other’s eyes.

Damn, we got *this* close to getting a “Bilbo lives in the Lonely Mountain” AU. But Bilbo’s right, it wouldn’t be the same without Thorin.

Overall, this was a rather lighthearted chapter compared to what we have seen so far, which isn’t at all a bad thing. It was a much needed break from the heavy feels that has been thrown at the audience. We can’t have constant doom and gloom, so sometimes we just need to meet up with friends and kick ass at conkers. This chapter was a great way to balance the previous angst, which shows that the author has a good sense of story pacing. Great job!

[deanstop13billyjoeltraxx]

Superposition

a deancas college roommate AU :)

Chapter 12 is up on AO3! Chapter-by-chapter masterlist here. 

yes i updated twice this week my foot is broken i can’t do anything else

The Beginning (of the End)

Three Years Earlier

“You ready?”

Dean was standing by the door with a full backpack. Cas’s own was leaning against his closet. He was sitting at his computer, manically finishing a paragraph, only half-stalling.

“One second…” Cas trailed off as he ensured his document had saved properly. “Done. Yes,” he said. Dean rolled his eyes, but there was a small smile on his face.

Dean had just taken his last final that morning. It was nearly noon before they hit the road in the Impala, Dean’s twenty-minute tape-selection process doing nothing to hasten their departure. Eventually, he settled on Moving Pictures, and he pulled out of the parking lot with “Tom Sawyer” blaring through the speakers.

Cas learned many things on the two-and-a-half hour drive to Lawrence — that Dean knew every word to every song in his tape collection, and he was not afraid to demonstrate it; that Dean had driven through almost every town on I-35; and that he had a story for each. He learned that Dean could begrudgingly appreciate 80s pop when Cas flipped on the radio and allowed the entirety of “Heat of the Moment” to play, uninterrupted. He learned that Dean would often turn to sing his favorite lyric right at Cas, or to tell him music trivia, or just to give him a smile.

When they arrived at Bobby’s house in Lawrence, a gangly teen who Cas assumed to be Sam was waiting for them at the door. Dean had barely made it out of the car before Sam was running to him, pulling him into a hug. Dean was grumbling “I wasn’t gone that long,” but he was smiling and sniffling and hugging Sam just as hard. Cas hid his smile.

Sam introduced himself to Cas, all smiles and raw excitement. His openness was contagious. Sam insisted on hauling Cas’s backpack inside for him, to which Dean threw an apologetic look at Cas. Cas just grinned back at him.

Bobby Singer was gruff-voiced and stoic, but there were tears in his eyes as he gave Dean a quick hug. He shook Cas’s hand firmly and said it was real good to meet him, after everything he’s heard. Dean went beet-red when Cas cast him a glance.

Bobby brought beers and a coke for Sam. The four of them sat in Bobby’s living room, Dean and Cas replaying the semester’s highlights for a rapt audience. When Bobby left the room to order a pizza, he clapped Dean on the shoulder and said, in a low voice, “Real proud of you, kid.” Cas thought it might have been the happiest he’d ever seen Dean.

“Dean told me you’re a writer,” Sam said when it was just the three of them. “He said you were writing a book.”

Dean made an indignant sound. “I didn’t say that.”

“Yeah, you did,” Sam retorted. “You said he —”

“I said he was majoring in creative writing,” Dean interrupted, giving Sam a look.

“I am… working on something,” Cas said to Sam. “Although, I’m not quite sure it’s a book. I’ve never tried my hand at writing novels.”

“Dean says your stories are really good,” Sam said, and Dean shot him a death glare. Cas could barely contain his laughter. “What do you usually write?”

“Before this semester, I typically wrote about my own life,” Cas said, feeling slightly self-conscious. “But one of my classes challenged me to write about other things.”

“What’s your book about?” Sam asked.

“Can you contain your nerd for, like, ten minutes?” Dean grumbled. “Dude just got here, you don’t need to scare him off.”

Sam flipped him off, and Dean muttered, “Real mature.”

Cas was considering Sam’s question, trying to come up with an answer that was both vague and satisfying. “It’s about free will,” he said finally.

“Can I read it? When you’re done, I mean,” Sam said. “I love reading. I just finished Lord of the Rings last month.”

Cas smiled. “If I ever finish it, of course,” he said. “Lord of the Rings is a fantastic book series,” he added, and Sam’s face lit up.

Dean let out a long-suffering sigh when Sam started Cas on a conversation about Tolkien, and he excused himself to get another beer. When he returned, Bobby close behind him, he threw a pillow at Sam’s head, which led to Sam throwing it back, knocking Dean’s beer to the floor, and then it was war. Bobby shot Cas an eye-roll, which only made him laugh harder.

The rest of the week passed much the same. Castiel went to bed each night with sore cheeks from smiling. On Saturday, Sam roped him into pouring toothpaste into Dean’s shampoo bottle. The roar they heard from the shower that night had them nearly on the floor laughing. Dean got his revenge on Sam moments later, barreling out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel to give his brother a large, wet hug. Unbeknownst to Dean, his retaliation involved Cas as well; it took great effort to keep his eyes focused on anything but Dean’s bare midsection. 

Dean dragged him to all of his favorite spots in Lawrence, places he remembered from early childhood and past Christmases with Bobby. Watching Dean in his element, Cas gave up. Resistance was futile. Cas didn’t fall in love with Dean in Lawrence, but he stopped trying to open a parachute against it. And while that observably changed nothing, for Cas, it changed everything. He’d already lost the game — what was the point in denying himself the consolation prize?

He leaned into the ache that came with the brilliance of Dean’s smiles. He relished the knot in his stomach when Dean spoke to everyone, but looked at Cas like it was just for him. He stole glances. He hid smiles. Dean permeated his thoughts and invaded his dreams. It hurt like hell, sleeping alone on an air mattress, wanting nothing more than to be laying next to the man in the other room. But the highs were addicting, made greater by the pain that followed them. Though he’d been down this road before, hopelessly in love with someone who would never, could never love him back, Dean felt different. Dean felt all-consuming. 

Castiel had fallen, and he wasn’t sure if he would ever rise again. 

 Christmas with the Winchesters made every holiday celebration Cas had attended look boring. Ellen Harvelle and her daughter, Jo, arrived in the morning, each giving him a hug like they’d known him for years. The moment she walked in, Ellen was yelling at Dean to “get his ass in the kitchen.” He grabbed Cas by the arm and pulled him along.

Cas spent the rest of the day watching Dean and Ellen cook, helping when he could, then having a raucous meal on the floor of the living room, A Christmas Story playing on the old TV. Bobby popped open two bottles of cheap champagne, much to the chagrin of Jo and Sam, who were provided sparkling grape juice instead. They exchanged gifts, and Dean looked at Cas like he’d just won the lottery after opening Cas’s gift to him, a limited edition copy of Houses of the Holy. When Bobby and Ellen moved to the kitchen to clean up, Dean led Cas outside to the Impala.

“It was too big to hide in there, and I’m shit at wrapping, so I just left it in the car,” Dean said, a little sheepish. He opened the trunk, and Cas gasped.

Inside sat a vintage black typewriter, an Underwood Champion. The paint was chipped everywhere, the letters on the keys nearly worn-off.

“It’s not in great shape,” Dean said, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. “But it was the coolest one they had at the antique shop. It’s kind of useless, since you have a laptop and all, but —”

Cas interrupted him by pulling him into a tight hug. Dean made a surprised sound, but wrapped his arms around Cas’s back.

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas said into his shoulder. He pulled away. “It’s perfect.”

Dean shrugged, but looked pleased all the same.

“I have something else for you, too,” Cas said before he could change his mind. Dean crossed his arms.

“Dude, you already went way too hard with the vinyl,” Dean said.

Cas rolled his eyes and started his way back to the house. Dean shut the trunk and followed.

Cas grabbed his backpack and pulled out the stack of paper, his heart pounding loudly in his ears. He all but shoved it into Dean’s chest, who gave him a confused look as he took hold of the gift.

“It’s the first part of my first draft,” Cas explained as Dean read the cover page. Dean’s eyes were wide when he looked back at Cas. “It’s a selfish gift, really,” Cas said. “I want to know what you think.”

Dean broke into a slow grin. “This is awesome, Cas,” he said. “I can’t wait to read it. Thank you.”

 They were supposed to leave Lawrence on New Year’s Day, but Dean and Cas were both too hungover to even think about making the trip. They stayed an extra night, much to the delight of Sam. The three of them spent New Year’s marathoning the Harry Potter movies. As usual, Dean spent most of the time reciting lines and pointing out his favorite scenes to Cas. Eventually, Sam became irritated enough that he told Dean to shove it, to which Dean responded that Cas liked hearing his thoughts, thank you very much. Dean kicked him in the ribs when Sam rolled his eyes and mumbled something like “Sorry for messing up your game.” Cas pretended not to hear that, pretended not to see Dean give Sam a glare that said, bring that up again, and I’ll kill you. All the same, he couldn’t help but wonder… 

But, no. Dean wasn’t flirting with him, Cas knew that much. Sam just said the first thing he could think of to get a rise out of Dean. 

They didn’t end up leaving until after dinner the next day, Sam and even Bobby pulling both of them in for hugs. Dean turned on the radio for the first half of the drive, but kept the volume low. He was quiet, and although Cas wanted to ask, he allowed Dean to sit in whatever he was feeling, watching the flat landscape pass outside the passenger window.

Dean had forgotten to tank up in Lawrence, so they stopped for gas in Emporia. It was dark by then, the unnatural white fluorescents shining starkly against the night sky. Cas stayed in the passenger seat as Dean pumped the gas. Cas watched him intently from the safety of the cab, another stolen moment wherein he allowed the full depth of his feelings to overcome him. It hurt, as it always did, but he thought the pain of wanting what he could never have was becoming softer, more bearable, like he might be able to live with it.

Dean opened the car door, and a rush of cold air assaulted the cab. “It’s nice out tonight,” Dean said. Cas hummed in agreement, contemplating Dean’s languid movements as he pulled his hoodie over his head. It was torturous, the way his shirt rode up to reveal a torso chiseled like marble, dusted with freckles. It was impossible not to stare. He looked away just before Dean looked at him again. 

“I’m gonna go grab a snack,” he said. “You want anything?” 

“I’m fine, thank you,” Cas said.

Dean returned momentarily with an already-half empty package of powdered donuts, grinning widely. Cas rolled his eyes as Dean reentered the cab. 

“Prudent,” he deadpanned. 

“These things are fucking magic,” Dean said before making a completely inappropriate noise as he popped another into his mouth. Cas averted his eyes. 

“Do you eat the most unhealthy foods in existence on purpose?” Cas asked. 

Dean looked at him with mock affront. “I just eat what tastes good,” he said. 

The Impala roared to life. Dean opened the window to toss the empty package into a nearby trash can, dusting his fingers off in the air. He turned back to Cas, the right side of his mouth covered in powdered sugar. 

“Ready to go?” 

Cas frowned. “You look like a small child in a donut shop,” he said. 

“What?” Dean rubbed a hand over his mouth, then raised his eyebrows at Cas. “Better?” 

“Barely,” Cas said, his frown deepening. And then his hand was moving without his permission, reaching up to dust the remaining white from the side of Dean’s mouth. It might have been nothing, were it not for the fact that his thumb lingered just a moment too long. Cas was staring at Dean’s lips, the breath stolen from his lungs. Shit. 

“Cas?” Dean said, an eyebrow cocked.

Cas pulled his hand back like he’d been burned. “What?” He croaked. His throat felt like sandpaper. 

Dean was looking at him with a mix of curiosity and melancholy, and Cas was done for. After all this time, every trip to the dining hall, every movie watched on a shared beanbag, every midnight trip to Taco Bell, it was here that Cas put the final nail in the coffin. It was at a shitty gas station in the middle-of-nowhere, Kansas, that Dean discovered his secret. 

“Nothing,” Dean said slowly. As they pulled out of the gas station parking lot, Dean didn’t even bother to turn on the radio. Cas only dared a single glance in Dean’s direction, but when he did, he found Dean’s eyebrows knit in concentration, his jaw set, like this drive was the most important thing he’d ever done.

The air felt like it was about to condense with the weight of the silence. That final hour of the drive had Cas fidgeting, turning his phone over and over in his hands. Dean was perfectly still, hardly moving his eyes from the road. Dean, the definition of nervous energy, wholly devoted to a single task. Cas could have laughed at the irony if he hadn’t been silently begging for immediate reorganization into an inanimate object. 

Because nothing in the history of unrequited love confessions could beat this. Cas didn’t have a prayer. And maybe Dean would pretend he hadn’t seen it, maybe they’d never talk about it. But everything would be different. Dean would find excuses to miss dinner, Cas would pretend to be exhausted every Tuesday night. Dean would break the news that he’d found a different roommate for the following school year. Cas would remark that they should keep in touch at the year’s end, and Dean would agree with a clap on the back, and they would never speak to each other again. 

Finally, mercifully, Dean pulled into the dorm parking lot. Cas exhaled hard, as if he’d been holding his breath. Dean gave him a quizzical glance, which Castiel promptly ignored. When Dean shifted into park, Cas had his hand on the door handle immediately. He was about to open it, to take a breath of frigid, fresh air, when Dean grabbed his other wrist. 

“Cas.” Dean’s voice was barely above a whisper, gravelly and sincere in a way that sent a shock through Cas’s spine.

Cas turned to face him. “What?” Cas said, trying to ignore the flames creeping up his arm.

“Thanks for, uh,” Dean started, but he cleared his throat. “Thanks for coming. To Lawrence.”

“Of course,” Cas said, and his voice sounded dead, even to him. He tried to infuse it with some vitality as he finished. “Thank you for inviting me. I had a great time.”

Dean nodded. His hand was still wrapped around Cas’s wrist, and he was looking out of the windshield.

Cas raised an eyebrow. “Shouldn’t we… Go inside?” It came out like a question.

Dean’s eyes flicked to his. “Yeah,” he said, but he still wasn’t letting go. And Cas thought he should look away, should open the door, but then the inaction lasted too long. Something about the way Dean was looking at him burned, and he was chewing on the inside of his cheek, like there was something he was trying to convince himself to say. 

Cas wasn’t sure if he really whispered Dean’s name, or if he imagined it. All he knew was, one moment Dean was staring at Cas, lips parted. The next, there was a hand on the back of Cas’s neck and stubble against his cheek and a pair of lips rough against his. Dean was kissing him, and Cas had imagined it so many times he could do nothing but freeze and hope he never woke up from this dream.

Dean pulled away abruptly, too soon, and the give-or-take two feet between them might have ripped a hole in the space-time continuum, it was so cosmically wrong. 

“Shit, that was — I’m so sorry, Cas I didn’t —” Dean was holding his head in his hands, but his words were taking eons to reach Cas’s ears. He just sat, staring in disbelief. Every place Dean had touched was scorched with the absence of him. “I’ll email someone — I’ll try to move out for this semester — fuck, I’m such an idiot,” Dean was saying, and those words shocked Cas back to his plane of existence. 

“Move out?” He croaked, and his voice sounded foreign to his own ears. “Why?” 

Dean looked at him in anguish. “I shouldn’t have — I’m an idiot.” His voice sounded broken and raspy. “I fucked up on Thanksgiving, and now, shit, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“You remember Thanksgiving?” Cas blurted.

Dean tilted his head. “How could I forget that?”

Cas furrowed his brow. “What exactly was your mistake on Thanksgiving?”

Dean stared at him. “The whole damn thing, Cas,” he sputtered. “And now this, and, goddammit, you’re my best friend and I can’t control myself long enough to…” Dean trailed off, and Cas finally understood. Dean had misinterpreted his shock, felt Cas’s stiff and tardy reply and taken it to mean he wasn’t interested. A bubble of hysterical laughter escaped him at the irony.

Dean’s expression darkened. “Yeah, this is fucking hilarious, Cas —”

Cas cut him off. He closed the distance between them, and he could have laughed at the woeful inadequacy of his fantasies when compared to this. It was stilted and desperate, and the center console was digging into Cas’s knee, and an uncomfortable cold was seeping into the cab. But Dean’s fingers were tangled in his hair and he tasted like Diet Coke and cigarettes and he was muttering Cas with every breath and Cas thought he might die in that parking lot because he simply would not allow this to end.

The world had shifted when they finally parted. Dean was looking at him with wonder and confusion. Cas knew he was putting on a similar display. It was dark. Dean’s face was only half-illuminated in the parking lot, but everything about him was brilliant. It was almost too much, like maybe if Cas looked away he’d find himself blind. Cas felt the near-overwhelming urge to kiss him again, to rediscover every plane of Dean’s face he’d already committed to memory.

But he remained in his place, half twisted in the passenger’s seat, because this demanded all manner of explanation. Cas swallowed hard.

“You…” Dean’s voice was a gravelly whisper. “What?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Cas replied, breathless.

“You’re not — You’re not pissed?”

“That depends,” Cas said, his heart hammering against his chest. “What was that?” 

“I —” Dean started, but stopped himself. His leg was bouncing rapidly, and he reached into the pocket of his jeans, presumably for a cigarette. Cas grabbed him by the shoulder. 

“Dean,” he said in a stern voice. 

Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Dammit, Cas,” he said. “What do you want me to say?” 

“The truth,” Cas said, a little taken aback. 

“The truth,” Dean repeated, his eyes remaining resolutely shut. Another deep breath. “It wasn’t supposed to go like this,” he said finally.

And, whatever Cas had been expecting, it wasn’t that. “What?” 

“I was gonna — I dunno, I was gonna do it right. I’ve been meaning to do it right, ask you to fucking dinner or something, but then I thought you hated me after Thanksgiving, and you were busy all the time, and then we were in Lawrence, and —”

“We go to dinner every night,” Cas said. Dean wasn’t making sense. 

Dean finally opened his eyes, only to give Cas a death-stare. “No, dumbass, something a little nicer than the friggin’ dining hall.” He sighed. “But, of course, in my car. What am I, sixteen?” 

“A date,” Cas said, finally catching up. “You were going to ask me on a date.” 

Dean winced a little. “Yeah.” 

“But you didn’t —”

“Thanks for the reminder.” 

“— Because you thought I hated you.” 

“A little bit.” 

Cas smiled incredulously. “If this is a joke, it’s a terrible one.” 

Dean glared at him. “Not a joke, Cas.” 

“But you’re not — Dean, I thought you were straight.” 

Cas felt bad about the statement immediately as Dean winced, but it was true. Nothing was adding up. Dean had never shown an interest in men before, at least not around Cas, and Cas didn’t think he could stand to be Dean’s experimental phase. But he reeled his insecurity back in as he added, “You don’t have to explain anything to me. I’m just… Confused.”

Dean let out a hard breath. “No, I know, I know,” Dean said. “I dunno. Guess I never really thought about it before.” He paused. “I was too scared to think about it.” 

Cas felt his heart break at that. There was a story there, a million things to unpack, but it was obviously a feat for Dean to say as much as he already had. Cas left it alone. 

Dean cleared his throat. “Point is,” he said, “this was a long time coming, but I’m an idiot and couldn’t work up the balls.” He was staring hard at his hands, the admission taking enormous effort. 

A little nervous without the excuse of the heat of the moment, Cas put a hand on Dean’s neck and kissed him, again, short and tender. “You’re not an idiot,” Cas said. 

“Guess not,” Dean said through a breathless laugh. 

Cas cocked his head. “You really thought I hated you?” He asked, his eyes searching Dean’s.

“What else was I supposed to think?” Dean asked. “I thought that was it, you were done with me.” Dean furrowed his brow. “Why’d you do that?”

“Avoid you?”

“Yeah. I mean, if you didn’t — if you weren’t mad.” 

Cas stared at him. “Dean, I can barely remember anything we did on Thanksgiving, much less anything I might have said.” He paused. “And then we were… I didn’t know what to think. Not to mention, up until about five minutes ago, I thought you were — that you weren’t interested.” Cas ran a hand through his hair. “I was worried I might ruin our friendship.”

Something like realization dawned on Dean’s face. He let out another laugh. “Guess we’re a couple of dumbasses.” 

“Maybe,” Cas said with a small smile. “Let’s go inside.”

Dean nodded, and they exited the car and made their way upstairs. And it might have been any other night, save their shoulders touching, fingers brushing, silence charged with something new. Cas unlocked their door, letting Dean in. When he turned after shutting the door behind him, Dean was there, and Cas didn’t even have time to turn on the light before he was shoved hard against the door. Dean’s mouth was hot and his hands were desperate. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Cas thought they should probably talk about this, about them, but then Dean’s breathing hitched as Cas caught his bottom lip between his teeth, and the thoughts stopped coming.

 Cas’s bare back was cold against the linoleum floor, but Dean was warm against his chest. He stared at the ceiling in the dark, his mind scrambled from pleasure and the shock of being wanted.

“Cas,” Dean said against his chest. Cas threaded his fingers through Dean’s hair.

“Yes?”

Dean shifted, perching on his arm, looking down at Cas. “You — you want this?” He said.

Cas stretched his arms up and rested his head on top of his hands. “This?” He asked. Dean was being intentionally vague, but Cas couldn’t exist in limbo. He had to hear the words, as clear as Dean could make them.

Dean gave him a look for a moment, but relented. “Yeah, I know. Okay. This,” he said, gesturing between the two of them. “You and me. Us. Like this.”

“Oh,” Cas said lightly. “That’s what you meant?” Dean rolled his eyes and shoved him. Cas laughed. “The answer is yes.”

A small smile, but it faltered as Dean spoke again. “Are you sure?” He said. “I don’t — I might be really shit at this, you know.”

And Cas did know. There were a million little complications, things they would have to figure out, problems he hadn’t even begun to consider. That might have been terrifying, but the prospect of never having Dean, that was worse.

“I’m sure,” he said quietly. “Are you?”

“Yeah,” Dean said, no hesitation.

Cas sighed as Dean traced circles on his chest. “It’s worth it to try.”

Cas was in between sleep and consciousness when something warm shifted around his back. Whatever dream he’d been having, it felt remarkably real. 

“Wake up, dumbass,” he heard Dean say affectionately. Cas didn’t want this dream to end; he could steal a few more minutes of sleep. He burrowed his head deeper into the pillow, willing the dream to continue. 

But then there was a pair of lips against his ear, and they were entirely real. ���C’mon,” Dean said in a low voice. “First day of class.” 

For a moment, Cas was confused. Dean was in his bed. Why was Dean in his bed? But as he rubbed his eyes, the events of the night before came crashing into him. 

Oh. 

Nerves pooled in the pit of his stomach. He half expected Dean to rush out some kind of apology, to tell him that everything had been a big mistake. But when Cas turned to face him, Dean was beaming. 

“Mornin’,” he said. 

“Good morning,” Cas said, awestruck. Dean needed a shave, and his hair was flat on one side from sleep, but Cas still felt his breathing hitch as he stared at Dean, unfettered for the first time. Beautiful. 

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Coffee?”

“Please,” Cas said with a nod. Dean moved to climb out of the bed, but he paused. He turned back toward Cas and kissed him, slow and deep. When he finally broke away, Dean was smiling even wider. 

“Awesome,” he said, earning a snort from Cas. 

If Cas had worried about Dean’s intentions, it was unfounded. At lunch, as Dean talked to Cas like he was the only person at the table, Meg rolled her eyes and told them to “get a room.” Dean responded by throwing an arm around Cas and saying, “Maybe later.” Meg gaped at the two of them for about ten seconds before regaining composure, shifting to more general conversation. Cas received a text from her immediately after they parted ways. 

MM (1:12 p.m.)

holy shit!!!! 

MM (1:13 p.m.)

ur going to tell me everything tmrw

At first, Cas wasn’t sure how to respond, because he wasn’t sure what he was allowed to say. That is, until Dean answered a call from Benny, saying, “Sorry, man, I’m not going tonight, I have a date. Yeah, with Cas. Shut up.” Cas smiled to himself as he replied to Meg. 

CN (2:32 p.m.)

Absolutely.

The three weeks that followed were easily the best of Cas’s life. The rituals remained unchanged; Tuesday was movie night, dinner was at seven-p.m. in the dining hall, late nights doing homework demanded a fast food run. But little things shifted; Dean made it to his birthday without going to a single party, and his bed remained perpetually made. Cas amassed a greater collection of t-shirts that weren’t his, and he only ran when he knew Dean was in class. 

Cas woke up to Dean shifting around him as he attempted to get out of bed for an early class. Cas slung an arm tightly around his midsection in protest. 

“Too early,” he mumbled. 

He heard Dean chuckle. “I thought class was important,” he said, but he shifted closer to Cas nonetheless. 

Cas grumbled something incomprehensible as he pulled out his phone. When he saw the date, however, he shot up, suddenly wide awake. 

At Dean’s look of confusion, he said, “It’s your birthday.” 

“Yeah.”

Cas leaned down and kissed Dean deeply. He pulled away to mutter, “Happy birthday, Dean,” against his lips. Dean closed the small distance as soon as Cas had said the words, and this time it was decidedly heavier, hot breaths mixing and hands pulling each other closer. 

They were interrupted by Dean’s second alarm. Dean scowled as he turned it off. He looked at Cas expectantly, but Cas had his arms folded against his chest. 

“Class is important,” he reminded Dean. 

“But it’s my birthday.”

“And?” 

“Asshole,” Dean grumbled, but he kissed Cas on the jaw as he climbed down from the bed. He put on a pot of coffee as Cas followed him off the bed, wrapping his arms around Dean from the back.

“I got you something,” Cas said into Dean’s shoulder. Dean twisted around to face him. 

“Cas, you didn’t have to do that. I told you, birthday’s are dumb anyway.” 

Cas made a face. “I happen to be endlessly thankful for your birth.” 

Dean shook his head, but he was smiling. “What is it?” 

“You’ll find out on Friday when we go to Benny’s.” 

“We’re going to Benny’s?”

Cas bit the inside of his cheek. “It was supposed to be a surprise,” he said, “Benny and Charlie both insisted. But you once told me you have a strong aversion to surprise parties.” 

“Y’all are throwing me a surprise party?” 

“No,” Cas rushed. “No, that’s why I’m telling you right now.” 

“But it’s a party.” 

“Yes.” 

“You couldn’t have told me yesterday? How long have y’all been planning this?” 

“Only a week.” 

“A week?” Dean paused, his eyes narrowed. “Who all’s gonna be there?” Dean grumbled, already trying to assess the threat of too much attention on him at once. 

“Just Benny, Charlie, and Charlie’s girlfriend,” Cas placated. 

Dean relaxed at that. “And you, right?” 

“I’ll come if you want me there,” Cas said, a little sheepish. He hadn’t really planned on going, wanting to give Dean some time alone to spend with his friends. Cas felt like he’d accidentally achieved a monopoly on Dean’s attention. 

Dean gaped at him. “Dude, of course I want you there.” 

Cas gave him a soft smile. “Then I’ll be there.” 

Dean almost convinced Cas to let him skip class — almost — but with great effort, he resolutely pushed Dean out the door. 

“Damn, all right, if you want to get rid of me that bad,” Dean griped, smirking. “See you later.” 

“Goodbye, Dean,” Cas said with a smile. 

 They didn’t make it to the party. 

Friday afternoon, after spending far too long in bed, Cas was sitting on the beanbag, Dean’s head resting on his lap. They’d taped Dean’s comforter over the window, leaving the room completely dark, save for the film playing on Dean’s television. 

“Fucking asshole,” Dean was saying as Neil’s father came on screen. Cas hummed in agreement, paying more attention to his fingers threading their way through Dean’s hair. Suddenly, Dean’s phone began to ring. He shifted to check the caller ID, then stood up quickly. 

“Wait, pause it, I gotta take this,” he said. Cas obliged. “Hey, Bobby! How’s it goin’?” 

Cas reached above his head to stretch, but he faltered when he heard Dean say, “Dad? What’s wrong?” 

Cas stood abruptly as Dean’s phone slipped out of his hand, shattering upon impact with the linoleum. He was standing, his jaw clenched, staring at absolutely nothing. 

“Dean?” 

Dean remained silent, no indication that he had heard Cas. Cas placed a hand on his left shoulder, prompting Dean into movement. 

Still saying nothing, Dean dumped the contents of his backpack onto the floor, filling it with things from his wardrobe. Cas followed him, frantic. 

“What are you doing? Dean, talk to me,” he said. But Dean was on a mission, it seemed. After stuffing his feet into unlaced boots, he threw the door open and stalked out. 

At a complete loss, Cas pulled on his own shoes and followed, making sure to grab his key as he shut the door to their room behind him. Dean was already halfway to the stairs, and Castiel ran to catch up with him. Dean let the door to the stairs shut in Cas’s face. 

“Dean!” Cas called. Dean was fleeing down the stairs like his life depended on it. Cas only barely caught up to him as they reached the ground floor and exited to the parking lot. 

Finally within reach, Cas grabbed Dean’s shoulder, hard. Dean slowed, but didn’t stop. 

“Dean,” Cas started. Still no response. “Dean! What happened?” 

They had reached the Impala. Dean unlocked the car and threw his bag haphazardly in the front seat. He stared resolutely at the ground. 

“I gotta go, Cas. I’ll explain everything later.” The first words Dean had spoken to Cas in nearly ten minutes. His voice was thick. 

“Dean, where are you going?” Cas asked, desperate. “The party — there’s class on Monday!”

Dean looked up at him then, and Cas was struck by the mixture of fury and sadness in his eyes. “Screw the party and screw class. Family emergency.” 

Cas watched helplessly as Dean sped out of the parking lot, taking the turn so fast the back end of the Impala swayed a little. He stood in the middle of the parking lot for what felt like an eternity, the cold January air seeping into his bones. Eventually, he made his way back to the dorms, sighing in relief as the warm air of the hallway hit him. 

When Cas reentered the room, he stared at Dean’s shattered cell phone. He didn’t even bother to clean up the mess, just let out a choked sigh. Cas fell into the beanbag, his head in his hands.

——

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[tidalcreek]

tumblr user @tashimione i would love to.

IN MY ARWEN UNIVERSE aragorn and arwen are lesbians and arwen is much more involved with aragorn’s plot because they are a dream team. tolkien knew arwen was an underdeveloped character so he literally cant blame me for this! for simplicity im going on what i would change about the movies so im also bound by that format and i am actively trying not to think about how long this post is gonna be. BUT what that au would look like is:

we still meet arwen for the first time in the 'ranger caught off (her) guard' scene, and arwen still takes frodo to rivendell because i think that's cool of her. this sets up a very collaborative and equal relationship between aragorn and arwen that will continue throughout the movies (i saw a post recently about how the scene where they discuss getting frodo to rivendell changes everything you thought you knew about aragorn from the beginning of fotr, and shows you she's Not actually a mysterious loner and she does rely on arwen as much as arwen does on her. which is a VERY sexy take)

arwen is at the council of elrond-- she doesn't join the fellowship but she's involved! she has a stake in this. also i think that she and legolas should have a silly little friendship

elrond gives anduril to aragorn in rivendell. i love the rotk scene as much as the next person but im changing this bc a) ive never liked that it makes aragorn's worthiness hinge on whether or not she has anduril, instead of her being given it at the beginning of the journey and having to grow into the kingship as she carries the symbol of it at her side. and b) the movie scene messes things up for this au so to rivendell it goes

we still have the scene where arwen gives aragorn the evenstar but with different dialogue-- we're gonna b spending more screentime on this dynamic so we are NOT going to knock out all their backstory with one scene. in fact we are not even going to let them talk about arwen choosing a mortal life-- elrond can allude to that in a side conversation with arwen before aragorn leaves rivendell, but it's not a choice that she's actually made yet

moving on from rivendell through the end of fotr, we have a flashback or two w material from the tale of aragorn and arwen so we know whats going on there (love story of all time). this is where we get actual setup of arwen's Choice that's going to drive her plot, and also more emotional setup of aragorn's kingship and her reluctance about it (we fit 'all that is gold does not glitter' in here perhaps?)

in the first half of two towers we have a couple more flashbacks or scenes to set up arwen's plotline in tt/rotk. we move the arwen/elrond tension from rotk to tt, but stop short of arwen Making Her Choice; instead she and elrond fight and she takes the army to helm's deep without his permission (knowing that she's only postponing her decision)

like i just think it would be neat if arwen came to helm's deep like pj was going to have her do. she can fight! if they were gonna add elves to that anyway she could at least have caught a ride from rivendell with them. she shows up leading the army and we have an aragorn arwen reunion and she makes friends with eowyn and she kicks some ass. she has a thranduil botfa moment of seeing all the death around her and contemplating Mortality, which sets up her rotk arc

rotk: in place of elrond bringing anduril to aragorn, we have an aragorn arwen scene where arwen decides she has to go back to rivendell and take the ship to valinor. it is heartwrenchingly sad and we all cry but we don't blame arwen for fearing death and we love aragorn for letting her go. aragorn takes the dimholt road and arwen sets off back to rivendell

now we have parallel scenes-- aragorn in the paths of the dead and arwen riding alone across the westfold. this is where arwen has her vision of old aragorn with their son (they can have lesbian biological kids fuck you). it's all extremely dramatic and a big moment on 2 fronts: aragorn claiming her title and kingship for the first time to summon the dead, and arwen realizing she's making the wrong choice and turning back around. both of them making choices that they can't unmake!

on the way back to the rohirrim arwen runs into ghan buri ghan (hi king) and secures the army's passage through the druadan forest (and to justify taking up screentime with this, the druedain probably join the rohirrim and go to gondor even though that's not really the point of them)

anyway arwen rides to gondor with the rohirrim and fights on the pelennor fields; aragorn gets there with the army of the dead; they reunite on the battlefield after the fighting ends and it is the most justified high romantic drama youve ever seen. this is where we finally get i would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone. and we parallel this with merry and pippin's reunion bc gay rights

i havent seen the extended editions in a while so i dont remember exactly what happens between pelennor and the march to the black gate. i think it's mostly houses of healing + aragorn looking in the palantir? anyway arwen is there

arwen rides to the black gate with everyone else and flies her own standard of evenstar thank you very much :) i think it would also be fun if she fired a warning arrow at the mouth of sauron instead of aragorn killing him (since thats like. a war crime?). in my mind arwen is the fiery one in the arawen dynamic and she's more likely to react impulsively to the mouth taunting them with the mithril shirt

anyway arwen charges the black gate with the others and the rest of the movie wraps up as it normally does except for arwen appearing at the coronation (instead she just finally gets to see elrond again which is great). and you get to be happy for aragorn and arwen with some EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT behind it because youve had THREE MOVIES of their backstory and intertwining arcs instead of the bare minimum scenes! this is so much and im deeply sorry i have lesbian arawen disorder!!

[octaviangrey]

My Top 20 Fanfic Recommendations

Aka what to read to understand me/my tastes or what fanfic I’d bring to a desert island to avoid boredom.

First off this is my personal favorites and most highly recommended list, you may not like some or all of them, that’s fine.

Secondly, I’ve been wanting to make this sort of list for a while - a collection of my favorite fanfics and authors in one place which I can refer back to/up date as time goes by.

This will be mostly Naruto fanfic, since I’ve been in that fandom the longest, though I have included works from other fandoms such as; The Hobbit, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Inuyasha, MCU, American Gods, Girl Genius, Labyrinth, Van Helsing, and Batman The Dark Knight Rises.

Links to fic, and author page, included. I try to mention if I know someone is on tumblr. Let me know if I missed anybody.

Be sure to read the tags, and pay attention to the warnings before reading any of these - you are in control of what you consume in fandom. If you are feeling unsure about a fic and want to ask someone about it before reading, feel free to contact me! I try to check my messages regularly.

Please try to leave a comment/like/kudos if you enjoy the fics, the authors all deserve them. (If you can’t leave comments, that’s fine too - real life be like that sometimes. Don’t stress over it.)

20. To Trammel Some Wild Thing By Anon E. Mouse

This is completely self indulgent and a delight to read. The characterization is good and its plot is so much fun. I’m an unrepentant Dracula fan, in all his forms, and this ones damn entertaining. Incomplete - Anna/Dracula - Van Helsing

19. Nukenin By WhisperingDarkness

This fic, and the works inspired by it, are so much fun to read. Basically a 3 for 1 recommendation (be sure to check the links at the end!) A great Kakashi centric work, their characterization is excellent and the kids are great! Complete - No Pairing - Naruto

18. Fear By Almighty_Hat

I know, I know this isn’t the OT3, but bear with me, this is a really good series, looking at what ifs and giving us All the Jagers. Great slice of life Girl Genius style. Complete with an Incomplete series - Agatha/Jorji - Girl Genius

17. Klepto By DeGlace

This so much fun! A rare pair for sure, but it is so good. The chemistry between these two is amazingly portrayed. This fic is sexy, it’s vicious, it holds no bars and delivers on every promise. Also be sure to check out their fic Marrow, which just missed this list. Complete - Catwoman/Bane - Batman Darknight Rises

16. More Fair Than Snow By Jalen Strix

Oh man, this is such a good series. This author in general is very good, and has several other excellent fics, but this series is my favorite of the lot. Great balance of magic and real world, interesting use of fairy tales and a wonderful romance. Complete - Jareth/Sarah - Labyrinth

15. The Woods Are Deep, My Dear by Azzandra

Baby Agatha! World building! AGATHAS AMAZING GRANDMA! A delight to read, it is so fricking cute, and Grandma here kicks ass. The author also has some other great Au’s so check those out. Incomplete - no pairing - Girl Genius

14. RED KING By VesperChan but also on AO3

This author has so many great fics, but this is my favorite. They are also on tumblr! This fic is so gripping and atmospheric, a real feast for the mind. Can recommend the Obleisk series too. Complete - Sakura/Madara - Naruto

13. Lost and Found By NovusArs

Fem!Bilbo Baggins finds and adopts baby dwarves and the adventures thereof. The fic is cute, the characters are cute, the lore is great and this is so fluffy you guys. So fluffy. Incomplete - Bilbo/Bofur- The Hobbit

12. Lord Charming by forthright

This fic is sooo good. The drama, the lore building, the execution, all perfect. Now I know the chapter numbers look intimidating, but they are written in 100 words chapters, so don’t fear too much, you’ll get through it! Complete - Sesshoumaru/Kagome - Inuyasha

11. The House that Luck Built By TheBlackestFrost

This is so well researched, it’s use of belief and mythology is superb. I had so much fun reading this, but also I cried during some of it too. An amazing fix that convinces you of the romance with one of the parties being dead for most of it. Author on tumblr! Give! Them! A look! Complete - Laura/Sweeney - American Gods.

10. The Company of Trees By theroadkillcafe

This is my favorite Mokuton!Sakura fic ever. It’s amazing, it really captures the trials and tribulations of a young girl who’s life is changed so drastically. The supporting cast is really good too. Incomplete - No Pairing - Naruto

9. Kill Your Heroes by TheLightAtLastAndAlways aka Evil Is A Relative Term

Aaaaaaaaaa this is so good!!! The lore! The character growth! The plot twists! This is a masterpiece of writing, and I adore it. This author is never afraid to give gritty consequences, while keeping it fun and action packed. Incomplete - Itachi/Sakura sort of - Naruto

8. Retrograde Motion by Crunchysunrises

This is a fantastic example of the Time Travel trope, and tackles some really interesting lore and world building. I unreservedly love the part were we see Sakura’s seals from her family. It touched me so much I reread the whole thing 3 times in short order. Incomplete - No pairing - Naruto.

7. Amaryllis By silverfootsteps

This author is on tumblr, go check them out! And also this fantastic AU fic! I fell in love with this world, and the characters in it. A rich setting to sink your teeth into, with masterful twists and turns. Itachi is a very delicate flower and it’s great. Incomplete - Itachi/Sakura - Naruto

6. Sansûkh By determamfidd

This fic is amazing, I was able to get my mother in fanfic with this. I think it’s really well written, it feels very organic with the Tolkien world. I’m gonna get this hand bound in leather once it’s complete and gift it to myself, I want this in hard copy. Bilbo/Thorin - The Hobbit & LotR

5. Meeting Like This by FettsOnTop

And also the rest of the series. This Author is a prolific Boba/Leia writer, and all of it’s good, so give it a go and check them out! This series really defined this ship for me, and is my favorite work by the author so far. Complete - Boba Fett/Leia Organa - Star Wars

4. The Pilgrim Soul By jachap

Holy heck in a hand basket this fic is a feast. You will drown in this, the richness of this world will linger long after the final chapter ends. This is a historical fic, starting in the 1920’s and just keeps going even in the sequel. So much research has been done for this, and you can tell. Be warned you will cry. Has a sequel that’s just as good and being updated. Complete - Darcy/Steve/Bucky - MCU

3. Hermione Granger and the Serpents Renaissance by epsi10n.

This is my absolute favorite Harry Potter fic, it’s incredible. The author is very good at building tension, and then ending their chapters on cliff hangers, so you spend plenty of time on the edge of your seat reading this. Incomplete - Hermione/currently undecided. - Harry Potter

2. The Eyes Have It By Shana the Short

Written for FaNoWriMo. I adore this, and it’s incomplete sequel. It’s. So. Good. I can not recommend this enough - it’s fun, it explores interesting lore on what it would be like to develop a brand new Kekkei Genkai, and it has great character development for those who would usually go over looked. Complete - Sakura/Chojuro in the sequel. - Naruto

1. Five Kingdoms for the Dead by Evil Is A Relative Term

This is it, this right here is my favorite fanfic of all time. I LOVE this. I love the characterization, the plot, and is one favorite depiction of Madara Uchiha in fiction. Of all time. This author has already appeared on this list before, and I cannot recommend enough going out and checking out their work. Complete - Neji/Sakura - Naruto

This is not the be all, end all of good fic I’ve read, let alone all the good fic that exists, and I am very tempted to just add a list of authors I like too, but that would be a very ambitious list. Seriously, the number of stories I had to put aside because I love them but they are not quite on the list.... I have 1760 subsripctions just on AO3 alone. I couldn’t fit them all on here.

P. S. If you wish to reblog with any fic recs of your own, please do so! I’m always looking for new reading material!

[vardasvapors]

misc meme replies (mostly about ar-pharazon? somehow)

thelioninmybed replied to your post: thelioninmybed replied to your post:      🔥Finwe!        ...”                               

  yes, yessss, at last you begin to understand                

Your v loyal padawan, that’s me

gurguliare replied to your post:                    gurguliare replied to your post:                  ...                

   ok got it: he looks like elros setting out and then he bleaches his hair meticulously once aboard    

For #the aesthetic yes!! Do Numenoreans have plastic surgery? If they wanted to ‘stave off age by all means,’ I assume appearance-altering cosmetic stuff was HUGE during this period.

bamboocounting replied to your post:                  bamboocounting replied to your post:            ...                

   didn’t he MAKE all those (man-eating) puppies himself and sauron after carcharoth kinda, kicking them? orcs having a heartwarming spell of adopting them and then dying miserably in one of his tantrums    

Petty obnoxious mockery via doing the superpowered demigod equivalent of that scene in Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe where turkishdelight!Edmund scribbles a glasses and mustache on that stone lion’s face and jeers at him, seems to be preeeeettttty par the course for both Sauron and Morgoth, I think?

gurguliare replied to your post:                   gurguliare replied to your post:                  ...                

   but yeah tolkien is very negative about the intrafamilial marriage! though he qualifies it with, like, “since they only enforced that policy after the genetic difference between line of elros and other numenoreans became negligible,” so it’s not like, CLEAR if … uh … it would have been fine if they had started when they were quarter-elves ….    

I would assume....this might be a lot more sympathetic, if there was a big age-compatibility concern here tho. I’d think a lot of people wouldn’t want to marry someone who would age and die 100 years faster/slower than you did :\ (God I feel sorry for Elros re: whoever he married. 500 years is kind of a terrible lifespan if you’re the only one of your generation who lived that long - all his hypothetical human friends who he knew when he was young and who built Numenor with him would be dead super early in his lifetime....)

bamboocounting replied to your post:                   gurguliare replied to your post:                  ...                

   it’s, what, twenty odd generations? that’s not bad for maintaining a gene line (and anything to make the whole   

   “Therefore he humbled himself before Ar-Pharazôn” bit actually  bad for him)    

YESSSSSSSS

And I think Numenorean genes do not really even follow the rules that normal humans’ genes do anyway. I mean, if they became super-tall and elflike and hyper-powerful and gorgeous and stuff in the space of like 4-7 generations (depending on ancestry)? So the reverse with the excessive stickiness of....like, maia stuff resulting in frequent throwbacks should also be a thing! (There was also that thing about how Aragorn looked eerily similar to Isildur’s son Elendur and stuff).

bamboocounting replied to your post:                gurguliare replied to your post:                  ...                

   or - THANKS TO YOUR ICON, if he does a whole richard ii deposition scene?? complete with props, rolling around in glitter, etc.    

I’M CRYING.

But, actually yes! - one of my big headcanons about Sauron’s manipulativeness is that he arranges things so that the person he’s manipulating comes to the conclusions he wants them to come to by themself, rather than just directly convincing/cajoling them into agreeing with what he says. So nothing that would elicit a “huh wait this was too easy and he looks too happy about this!” from Ar-Pharazon.

bamboocounting replied to your post:                   gurguliare replied to your post:                  ...                

   “what if he and miriel look like twins” and now I’ve spontaneously combusted from thinking on time delayed twins/clones, good byeeeee    

Askjdghsjh though godddd I am weak about the clone/meaningful/horrifying visual echo potential of the Numenoreans but also just really SO MANY Tolkien characters. Hypothetical....multi-role casting....

bamboocounting replied to your post:                  gurguliare replied to your post:                ...                

   I agree about the being old but in my desire for claustrophobic court conspiracies: what if he felt the shadow of death just because he found a gray hair one morning. (and it wasn’t even real; miriel just took a sharpie to his head while he slept)    

This is. The best thing. I have ever read.

The best thing.

thelioninmybed replied to your post:                   bamboocounting replied to your post:            ...                

   The thing about this fandom is, i need you to clarify if the author intended the Attack Sirion AU as cute family bonding    

LMAO god thankfully not! It was I think definitely intended as one of those little gutpunch morbid textposts. And ow.

simaethae replied to your post: gurguliare replied to your post:     bamboocounting...

   b e a u t i f u l                

But not as beautiful as Ar-Pharazon, apparently!

crocordile replied to your post:                   🔥 - the Trees                

   Sighs dreamily…. They’re so wonderful aaahhhh    

I loooooove the Silm’s descriptive passages! (And a lot of the HOME’s even more).

crocordile replied to your post:                   bamboocounting replied to your post:            ...                

   It COULD be family bonding if the sight of Elwing their sister awakened in them their pre-kinslaying memories and made them help Elwing and save Sirion!  However even my feanorian-hating ass can’t imagine m&m being THAT monstrous, I think only some fans are capable of that ;/    

Yeah me neither! However I don’t think the OP was sincerely hating on the Feanorians with that post either, I think it was just Silm fandom being it’s jolly morbid self ;)

crocordile replied to your post:                 gurguliare replied to your post:                ...                

   Also I’m pretty sure the majority of Numenorians are descendants from the house of Hador and they must have mingled before (the very blonde) Aldarion passes the law abt the line of Elros, so there’s canonical back up for a blonde Pharazon if you want that hahaha    

Very true! Oh wait, is this how the Dunedain in the 3rd age become so uniform-looking - all the blond ppl in numenor got drowned. sorry genetics, tolkien’s here.

[bishoujomichiko]

Elemental witch AU: Ch. 1

Okay, so here’s what I have so far. There might be a few things that are hard to understand if you’re not into “witchy”/metaphysical things. You can dm me or just google it. But anyway, hope you enjoy!

…

Minami was surrounded by fire. It encompassed him, licking at his skin; but it didn’t burn him. It felt like a warm embrace. For some reason, Minami knew this was not the Fire spirit, but the spirit of another, a human. All he could see around him were flames, but in his mind’s eye, he knew there was a face there. No distinctive features, but there was a face, nonetheless. “Who are you?” He called out, but was only answered by the crackles and spitting of the roaring flames. Time past as he stood there in the orange light, he knew was not alone. They were there with him, or rather, this person was the flames. He felt a strange heat well up inside of his stomach; burning him whereas the fire did not. It felt like passion. Like he wanted to reach out and bring the fire inside of him. Like he wanted to dance with it, dance until his legs were weak and he couldn’t move anymore. “Who are you?” He shouted once more. He could have sworn he heard a name inside of his mind, but he couldn’t grasp it. The flames began to shine even brighter, he had to squint to continue to see. But as the fire danced, sparks flew around him, and they looked like tiny flowers. They looked like miniature lilies, floating in circles on the wind.

Minami’s eyes snapped open. Immediately he was up and grabbing his tarot deck off of his nightstand. He centered himself, breathing deeply as he began to shuffle the cards. He focused his mind on the dream, the fire, the unknown presence within the fire, and the flowers. What does all of this mean? He pulled three cards from the deck, and laid them on the comforter in front of where he sat, and turned them over.

Death. Knight of Wands. The Fool.

Woah. Two major’s, and a court card? This was a pretty important message. The Knight of Wands card was more than definitely the presence he had felt in the dream. The fool card signified a new journey, a new situation; going into a new part of life without abandon. The death card, though…he wasn’t sure. It could symbolize a part of himself being let go, to make way for this new energy. Or he could read it as a literal death. Time would tell which of the two was the correct meaning. Miniami felt a surge of excitement, wondering what exactly the Gods had in store for him. Could the Knight of Wands be a teacher? Maybe with their help, he could finally make a true connection with the Water spirit, and have his bestowment! His excitement quickly dulled when he realized that it had been a dream about fire. So, was he a fire witch after all? He pulled on his hair and groaned. That just couldn’t be true! All his life he had felt a pull towards the Water. He even felt strongest in the wet season, pulling energy from the rain. But, it wasn’t like he had an aversion to fire. In fact, fire was the only element that allowed him to work with it. He could shift flames, call upon the Fire spirit for strength; and though he didn’t feel the exact same way he did in the season ruled by water, he was always energized by the Summer sun. But there was no bond. No pull. There had to be a connection with the element, because it was a partnership. You worked together to create magick; you couldn’t do that if there was no relationship there. He sighed. At this rate, he felt like he’d never make a connection with an element. He knew for sure Earth and Air did not work with him, so they were ruled out. It’s just that his heart was called to the Water spirit, but he seemed to only be able to use Fire magick, although only a minuscule amount. What the heck am I going to do?

“Thank you!” He told the barista, as she handed him his strawberry frapp. Minami sipped lightly on the straw, his mind still on the dream he had. There was always significance to his dreams, and sometimes they even were prophetic. He wasn’t predicting major events or anything like that, just things that pertained to his life. He came back to reality when he accidentally bumped into someone on his way out. “I’m sorry!” He looked to see the person he brushed with his arm. “Yeah? Why don’t you watch where you’re going, next time?” Was the reply. The young man had long blonde hair, and the brightest green eyes Minami had ever seen. He was tall and slender, and wore a black leather jacket with leopard print details, a black v-neck, black jeans and black combat boots. He was attractive, but at the moment, Minami wasn’t concerned with that. “Will do…asshole.” Minami said under his breath, as he walked out of the door. “What was that?” The blonde called, but Minami really didn’t feel like getting into an argument with a stranger. Especially not at the Starbucks he frequented. He didn’t have time to, anyway; he was going to see his mentor, his previous mentor, that is. He called Yuuri as he started the car, and waited till he picked up. “Hey, you’re late!” Yuuri scoffed, feigning outrage. Minami could hear Kubo, Yuuri’s Golden-Doodle puppy, barking in the background. “I know! I’m sorry, I had this crazy dream last night and had to do a quick reading this morning…and also stop at Starbucks? My bad, but I’m on my way!”

Minami knew Yuuri was in the garden, as usual, so he didn’t even bother knocking on the front door. He walked to the back of the small cottage, trying his best not to crush any wildflowers on his way. Yuuri was sitting on the swing set, sipping coffee. Organic coffee beans, of course. Yuuri was a vegan, and extremely rarely ever ate anything he himself did not make. Minami stopped bothering to ask him if he wanted him to buy him something eat, or grab him a coffee. The answer was always a variation of “Do you know what kind of chemicals they put in that stuff?” Or, “Minami, they aren’t cruelty free!”. Whenever Minami came to the cottage, it was like entering a fantasy, something straight out of Tolkien novels. Minami constantly snapped pictures at Yuuri’s place, it really was such a beautiful sight. Yuuri’s brown eyes were lit up by the rays of the sun, as he smiled and waved. “You better not step on any of my plants!” Minami laughed, as he carefully tiptoed over; he sat on the empty swing next to Yuuri. “So, first things first. Tell me about this dream.” Minami recounted every detail he could remember, every feeling he had. And then told him about his tarot reading. Yuuri nodded, listening, sipping from his coffee mug. “What do you think?” Minami waited. Yuuri was looking up at the sky, a breeze drifting through his black hair. “I think you’re about to meet someone important.” He placed his mug on the ground. “The fire felt like it belonged to someone, right? Maybe it signifies a new love interest-” Minami gagged. “Love? How about a teacher? That’s what I need right now! Yuuri, I’m almost twenty, and I still haven’t had my bestowment, yet!” “Maybe, I would have by now, if someone stayed my mentor…” Minami tightened his grip on the chain, and kicked his feet. The motion of the moving swing helped to calm him. “I’m sorry, Minami, but we both know why I had to stop.” Minami flushed. Yes, of course he knew why. It’s not like he was going to forget. He liked Yuuri the moment he met him when he was 17. His parents recommended that Yuuri be his teacher, helping him to establish a connection with on of the elements. Except, the only thing Minami succeeded in during the mentor ship was developing a huge crush on Yuuri. He couldn’t really focus on anything else. So, about a year went by with Minami half assing his lessons, and finding any excuse to be close to Yuuri. It worked well for him, until he made the mistake of misreading a situation and kissing Yuuri. That’s when the lessons stopped. But, because Yuuri really cared for Minami (as a friend, or more so a little brother), he didn’t cut him off completely. They had a talk, and managed to save their relationship. “Maybe that might be the key to you discovering your abilities! Love is the most powerful magick, after all.” Yuuri patted him on the back and smiled. “Okay, come on. We’ve got a lot of things to do for the full moon, tonight! Phichit will be here for the ritual, too. So let’s start setting up.” Yuuri whistled, and within a few moments Kubo came bounding in from the woods behind them. She circled around Minami, nipping at his feet, then trotted along Yuuri, following him inside the cottage. Minami was always excited when it came time for the full moon rituals. And tonight, the moon was positioned in the hidden depths of Scorpio. Minami was hoping that all kinds of amazing secrets were going to be revealed to him tonight. His element, being the main one.

[morwensteelsheen]

for the ask game: 9, 10, 11, 16, 20, 22?

9. Care to share a sneak peek of a WIP?

Yes! I’ll put a little passage from A Farewell to Arms beneath the cut!

10. What frustrates you the most as a writer?

I have a tendency to focus too much on the details — details I certainly don’t pick up on as a reader. To give you an example, I recently blew hours researching English land law (and the practice of perambulation) for willow cabin, because I thought it would make the plot seem unrealistic if I didn’t have some background knowledge on that. Absolutely nobody reading 100,000 words of bastardised Lord of the Rings porn is going to care about English feudal land law, but my dumbass goblin brain insisted it was necessary. So. That’s frustrating.

11. What’s something you have learned as a writer?

This sounds kind of wanky but I’ve actually learned to read better! Because I spend so much time writing now, I’m constantly looking out for answers to technical questions I have in the things I read. For example, I love the novel War & Peace, love it like nobody’s business, but until quite recently I never read it because I was interested in how to handle a large cast of characters effectively. Or the Portrait of the Author As A Young Man, which was for a long time a totally inaccessible book to me, now feels like an instruction manual for beautiful descriptive language and character development. I’d never picked up on those things until writing became part of my daily routine, but now it’s made reading so much easier and more enjoyable for me!

16. Any ideas you wanted to write about, but never did?

Oh, so many. For Star Wars I’ve always been interested in writing about either Luke setting up his Jedi Academy, or Rey and redeemed Ben Solo setting up a Grey Jedi-style academy, but the fandom has been quite fraught recently so I haven’t really found the courage to try either. For LOTR I’ve got a whole bunch of ideas kicking about that may or may not get written. The big one just now is a Fourth Age next-gen fic, lightly inspired by Green Scholar’s Seeds of the White Tree, but focusing more on the frontier politics of Ithilien and how Elboron and Morwen (my HC daughter for É + F) deal with growing up in what is, I imagine, a fairly Wild West setup while also being prepared/expected to deal with life in the high halls of Gondorrim politics. A lot of that has to do with my questions about what role Faramir takes on when Aragorn starts to rebuild and reintegrate Arnor, and especially my belief that Faramir ends up taking on a Ruling Steward-esque role because Aragorn probably spends a lot of time in the north.

20. What’s one thing you want your readers to know about you?

Ooooh, this is a good one! I think it’s that I’m the king of missing the forest for the trees, which is why my fics will have a lot of unnecessarily accurate information (see my answer to #11), but plots that feel like they were pulled out of my ass thirty seconds before I hit publish. Because they totally are, I’m mostly just writing for the chance to do lots of research about weird minutiae lmao. So when people comment and are like “oh what if [character interaction] happened?” or “I think it’d be cool if [plot point] played out like this,” I am absolutely, 100% going to read that and take it seriously because those comments usually involve more thought about the plot than I’ve actually done lmao.

22. Care to share any future WIP ideas you have lined up?

So I’m doing the Tolkien Reverse Summer Bang with a fucking beautiful Farawyn painting that I’m super excited about — it’s going to feature the early days at Emyn Arnen and is probably going to be a chance for me to do some obnoxious narrative wanking over Cambridgeshire before we move back up north. I’m also toying around with the idea of a Lady Chatterley-style AU featuring Faramir as Lady Chatterley and Éowyn as Mellors. If I ever get the courage, I also want to write about a Gondorian noble trying to overthrow Aragorn and using the red book as evidence to do it, though that would be a fucking nightmare to do lol.

Thanks so much!!! I’m gonna drop the AFTA passage below —

On the sixth day of travel, they crested a small hill and in an instant Éowyn’s world became infinitely more massive. She didn’t speak, didn’t ask to stop, just vaulted off Windfola and rushed to the very edge of the hillside road.

She had never seen anything like it before.

Even the endless, unfettered sky in the Wold could not compare to what lay before her. Never had she felt so at the mercy of the overwhelming power of things she could not control; never did she expect that she could be so at peace with that loss of control. It stretched out before her like a second sky but made rough, more alive by motion and imperfection. Under the blazing midwinter sun (warmer here than farther north) it glistened like a shattered mirror hastily reforged.

She had no expectations for the sea — it had occupied no space in her thoughts, it simply did not exist in her world. Now, the sea rushed into her mind like a summer wildfire engulfing the grasslands, it was everywhere and fast and with a quiet intensity she could scarcely begin to understand.

It was only as she was about to speak to remark on the quietness of it all that she finally heard it. No, it was not quiet, it was perfectly in balance with the soundscape around it. A sound she had thought familiar but now realised was very foreign indeed. It was a dull roar, but it was there, and it spoke to a world she had yet to know — vast and ancient and permanent.

Her knees trembled.