#(though it does have at least one lesbian relationship. it's minor but it's there.)

[rawliverandgoronspice]

Oh, a great comp to Thralls of Power in regards to themes and relationship to canon would be Black Sails. It's wild I didn't think of it before actually.

[spro-o]

okay, so,,, i got back to reading 4kota, and i have so many thoughts of literally every nature

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR 4KOTA, NATURALLY!

okay so, allow me to rant a lil

bro why the actual fuck is Arthur just magical hitler now?? 😭 like hello???? it genuinely makes me really sad because he was such a sweet and likable character for most of 7ds and now he wants to create an ethnostate for humans only???? it just breaks my heart, man

SAME WITH JERICHO LIKE HELLO? QUEEN, YOURE BETTER THAN THIS. genuinely tho- nakaba try not to make all your characters pedos challenge (impossible). there are literally so many other ways in which Jericho could have ended up in a similar situation, but nakaba really just chose pedophilia? it couldve been something along the same lines just without the romantic attraction!! a family bond can be just as strong- and it couldve been something like her losing Lancelot or in some other way letting him down, and then thinking that he despises her and holds onto that grudge (which, judging his character it wouldve probably been a small spat that he got over) - but maybe Jericho didnt understand that, or wasnt ready to face him, expecting him to be livid - so she asked for an alternative reality where that didnt happen and they got along great as sister/brother or master/trainee. i wouldnt put Jericho past being so stubborn that she wouldnt believe when Lance would say that he forgave her, and then boom!! same set-up, just without the nasty pedophilia!!

ON THE NOTE OF WHICH- (theres so much of that garbage in nakaba's writing, fucks sake) - i genuinely hate the whole thing happening with Guinevere. the whole non-consensual kiss from a 12 year old to a 16 year old (ewwwww) is one thing, but then when Lance is reflecting on that interaction and he SMILES????

you have no idea how much this panel killed me to see. Lancelot youre better than this,,,, 4 years is not a big age difference when youre in your 30's, but when youre 16???? please,,,, cmon now,,,

speaking of whommmmm~~ ,,, I ADORE LANCELOT!! SO MUCH!! this is to be expected considering i love Ban, bUT- hes genuinely just such a cool and wonderful character that has some sense in him. i especially loved those panels where he was like jumping around to get himself hyped up cuz like!! Ban does that!!!! i love,,,,

elizabeth (looking gorge btw, i love that for her) is unfortunately reduced to an object of fondling yet again 😔 literally like the second panel that shes in and shes getting grabbed and groped by Meliodas?? it just feels mad disrespectful to her really deep character that she has such a minor role when you ignore her being sexualised by Mel (in reality nakaba, but i digest)

i love that panel where Anne tells Isolde about what chastity actually is hbghjnhbjh

I FEEL SO BAD FOR NASIENS WHEN PERCY IS ALL UP IN ANNES BOOBS. genuinely- the dropped bag, and all of he blushing that happened before it during their interactions,,,, that shit broke my heart, man

nakaba try not to draw teenagers naked challenge (impossible) (chapter 86 cover)

this is literally like the cutest fucking thing ever????? i want more calm, slice of life stuff for our skrunglies. they deserve a break

someone, please, stop all this shit going on with Guinevere (writing this while reading chp 87) – I really despise the fact that nakaba has to make like literally all of the relationships either look like they have a massive age gap (Ban and Elaine), or actually have a fucking criminal age gap (Mel and Ellie). it really is not that difficult to just write a relationship where there is a <2 year age gap, did you know that, nakaba?? crazy, I know (deadass, while I don’t ship them, it would at least be bearable if she was also like 15-16, just not 12 TT)

chion is such a fucking pain in the ass oh mah gahhhhhh

I love Gawain’s lesbian antics <3

At this point, though I love seeing the characters interact in more casua circumstances, id rather have more fight scenes than god awful, shoe-horned romances between any two characters of the opposite gender (exceptions being Nasiens and Gawain, my sillies <3)

okay,,, thats it for now, but do expect more at some point or another huiyuvghbijhb

[theaquinn-misc]

A-spec Lesbian

I decided to make my own list of things that have helped me realized I'm gay. Disclaimer: I'm not the arbiter of what makes someone an aspec lesbian, however if you experience some or most of these it's something to consider. Disclaimer 2: I've also not had a lot of experience dating so I can't include much of that here. This post will be divided in 3 sections: Men, Women and NBs and media

Men:

only crushing on "unavailable" men: married, in a relationship, much older, gay, fictional, celebrities

"crushing" on men and enjoying fantasizing about them, but not trying to flirt or even get close to them in any way

"crushing on a man" for a set period of time and then and thinking he's the hottest thing since sliced bread, but later (especially after a physical separation) finding him meh or cringey

fantasies about men having more to do with being happy and fulfilled in life and being seen as someone to be jealous of, not so much about the specific person

having a crush/attraction to a man only for him to return it and you realize that you feel uncomfortable

meeting a guy who is conventionally attractive and meets all your standards and telling yourself you are attracted to him but still feeling a weird pressure in your stomach/chest because "something is missing"

liking a guy, until he changes something minor about his appearance (shaves, does his hair differently) and then finding him basic/meh and losing all attraction to him

never understanding what women see in the men they date or like in media, at least looks-wise

finding even extremely conventionally attractive men to be kinda meh and thinking women attracted to men must be exaggerating how hot they find them

being uncomfortable when you find out a man has a crush on you and wanting him to stay away, but with women/nbs it's just a bit awkward and overall no big deal

having to force sexual and romantic fantasies for men and getting bored of them after a while

finding the most aesthetically attractive man in a group and deciding you are attracted to him (bonus points: being relieved when you find out he's taken/ and/or you could never date him for some reason)

being anxious or sad or bored when you imagine your life with a man

only wanting to date men if it's polyamorous (note: this is not to invalidate poly people, but if you can only imagine dating one gender ONLY if it's poly and having no issues to be monogamous with another gender... that might be something to look into)

getting sad/anxious/bored at the idea that your first boyfriend could be your forever partner. thinking "of course i want to experience life before I settle down"

wanting to dress sexy and reveal your body, but wanting to hide it when a man pays attention to you

Men expressing their attraction to men is more relatable than women expressing their attraction for men Women/ NBs:

finding only a few men aesthetically attractive but nearly every woman/queer/nb person (esp more femme ones) being gorgeous to you

wanting to impress and/or be liked by "special" women

going on dating apps and switching to "women only" even though you are (supposedly) bi/pan (note: some people may do this for safety reasons but if you can't even IMAGINE finding a guy off an app, even if you take all possible precautions, well...)

finding the fantasy of sharing your life with a woman/nb person far more rewarding and satisfying than the fantasy of doing those same things with a man

having some inkling of attraction to trans women pre-coming out, but suddenly thinking they are the most gorgeous people ever post knowing they are women(especially if they go on HRT),

really "admiring" masc/butch women and women who break gender roles (women in suits, women with defined muscles etc.)

thinking that everyone thinks women are more aesthetically attractive than men (hint: ask a gay man about this)

having deep feelings about a female actor, singer, teacher growing up etc. that feel special and unique

feeling guilty in locker rooms, not wanting to look at women too long

getting really excited at the idea of having a gf, or being a girl/nb person's gf/ partner but not feeling the same way about dating boys/men

wishing to be a lesbian because you think lesbians are cool and/or to avoid dating men

feeling uncomfortable feelings about the label lesbian, especially when applied to you (but not gay/queer/sapphic/wlw/nblw etc.)

not getting crushes on women IRL often because you're still aspec

getting crushes on fictional women, influencers, celebrities etc. Media:

never relating to m/f pairings even if they have bi/pan characters or the m/f relationships you see in media or around you.

shipping m/f, but thinking "that's cool for them, but I don't want that" (note: this might also have to with gender, if you're nb)

imagining yourself as the "man" in m/f ships never the woman

not relating to f/f ships with two thin conventionally feminine and usually white women (esp if you are fat, gnc, WoC, and/or are attracted to butch/masc women)

seeing posts about the attractiveness of men but relating them to m/m ships, not yourself

wanting every bi/pan character to be in a "gay" or at least, in a visibly queer relationship

only relating to m/f ships if they are more obviously queer. Like say, masc woman with a twink boyfriend (side note, I've never seen that, so if you have recs please send them my way)

only being able to get off on gay/lesbian porn, finding straight porn to be unsatisfying or boring or uncomfortable (note: porn is not a great way to determine sexualaity as most actresses are fetishized and fake prgasms, and most lesbian porn is not made for sapphics. but still) Things you are allowed to do as a lesbian/don't make you less gay:

Have m/f ships you feel strongly about

read/write m/f smut

relate to/write bi/pan characters

joke about liking celebrity men & fictional men

not be attracted to the women the lesbian community has decided are the hottest thing since sliced bread (Kristen Stewart is not everyone's type)

not be comfortable with certain sex acts or sex as a whole

[ae-azile]

In your latest Progression chapter I loved how Namphueng did the cake announcing her sexual identity. It was such great idea and now I wonder what other characters would make as the same cake? What are others sexualities/sexual identities? Do they identify somehow other than gay? Kinn and Chay are gays but what about others? Is Porsche bi or pan? What about Tankhun and Arm? Also Kim expressed somehow being genderfluid and he is definitely demisexual or grey asexual. I think it would be extremely interesting for all of them to have some kind of discussion like that.

Namphueng loved her cake too LOL. She was very proud of it. I spent a while thinking of how the cake would look. While I couldn't find a cake that described what I wanted her to do, I did look up some reference pics for inspiration. Here are several that kind of fit some aspects of the style!

If you mix the aspects of these cakes all together, you sort of get what Namphueng accomplished. Girl worked HARD. It was so important to her because:

1. She remembers her first love, or at least bits and pieces. She remembers loving her deeply. I think creating a cake so elaborate and more suited for a small wedding was her way of committing to her true self, along with finding the woman she loved and clearly still loves.

2. She may have struggled with being her true self or being open about her relationship first time around. She isn't doing it anymore because every bit of her autonomy and happiness was kept from her.

So, yes! In Progression, Namphueng very much identifies as a lesbian. As for the other characters, some are probably up for interpretation, but I guess this is how I view them (at least for this fic).

Kim: I also see him as demisexual or sex positive ace. I think he is enjoying sex with Chay. A LOT. But he can only come to enjoy sex if he is in love with and feels comfortable with the person he is sleeping with. Since he struggles with being so guarded, Chay is his first. I think his romantic orientation is likely panromantic, but his trauma and seeing so many people in his family get hurt/killed likely made him push the idea of romance away for a long time.

As for the potential for him being gender fluid, I don't think it is something he feels like he needs to find a label for, but wouldn't deny it if asked. I think he does certain things and presents himself in a way that feels right. He likely leans towards more masculine presentations, but likes light makeup on occasion, doesn't align with overt masculinity or societal expectations for men, etc. I think he also likes looking good for himself, and sometimes looking softer and slightly more feminine is something that appeals to him.

Overall, I believe he struggles with labels for multiple reasons. He doesn't like following traditional or strict expectations, nor is he great at communicating clearly (although he is getting a lot better). I think he also falls into this limbo in between labels, so he doesn't know what to make of it. He struggles with seeing himself as asexual (especially now) since he is having a very enjoyable sex life with Chay. He should probably should look into demisexual. I think it will be something that eventually comes up, even though he doesn't feel a NEED to find a label. However, an explanation and a sense of knowing he isn't the only one may help. 🙂

Porsche: I think he is probably pan, but could also be bi. Episode 8 showed him express minor anxiety over dating a guy, although I don't know if it was the emotional or physical aspect that worried him more. Regardless, I tend to categorize him a little more as pan since that tends to take a meaning of "experiences sexual attraction regardless of gender". However, I also see him as demiromantic.

Khun: Despite his and Kim's personalities being extremely different, I also see him as demisexual, panromantic. Part of his demisexuality likely stems from immense trauma since he needs to be with someone who understands him and he's comfortable with, but I don't think the gender of that person matters. In fics, I often mention him having a girlfriend prior to his kidnapping. I believe I did in this fic too. Now, he's very much in love with Arm. And like Kim, he also might be gender fluid, but doesn't over think it and just does what feels right.

Arm: He's a hard one, but he could be demisexual too, and he may lean towards homoromantic. That isn't to say he doesn't like to be seductive though. He takes his shirt off when drunk for a reason. However, I do think he was repressing a lot of desires until he became more comfortable with Khun. So yeah, maybe demisexual/homoromantic.

Pol: He says he's straight! But I also think he is a guy who needs and deserves a lot of love. I don't see him hooking up with just any woman or being in a FWB situation. He is probably heteroromantic, but does find a lot of satisfaction in platonic love too.

Vegas: gay, but demiromantic.

Pete: demisexual, biromantic

Macau: He's saying he's straight in this fic, but I don't see him sleeping around like his brother likely used to.

Kinn and Chay : gay and gay

Milan's sexual and romantic orientation will also become more clear in flashbacks as well.

Thank you for the ask! 🩵

[the-devils-in-the-dumbass]

(GROOMING TW)

realized some very very glaring problems from my first "relationship" a decade ago.. and realized i was groomed.

sorry for the dumb vent. i want to say this since i've been thinking about what had happened for a long time. i think at least one person should hear this story. please for the love of god, do not click keep reading if you don't want to know. (by the way dni if you think older minors can't groom younger ones!)

i met her when we were both in middle school; i was just starting and she was about to graduate. but when the.. grooming thing.. started, i was 13 and my groomer was 16, going on 17, so technically legal (like, the fact she liked me, not the fact she's a pedophile), just really immoral, but i was also dumb and naive, pretty much 10 mentally, and yeah.. that bumps the immorality scale from an 8 to a 11.

i didn't actually ever actually like her. we found out we both identified as female and lesbian at the time after she asked what my sexuality was, and i guess she considered that confirmation that i was safe to go after. (i believe the interaction went similarly to this: (out of nowhere): "so, what's your sexuality?" "what?" "like, what genders are you attracted to?" (me, very clueless): "ohh, i'm lesbian!" "oh, yeah, me too! how old are you, again?" "13!" "soo.. i guess that means that we could date." i laughed that off, since i trusted her, and, platonically, loved her, and also had no clue what she was implying; i thought she was joking. she wasn't.)

a few months after, she confessed that she liked me, and i am nebularomantic; it is difficult for me to differentiate platonic love from romantic love because i'm neurodivergent as fuck; so in the 20 seconds it took to respond, i looked into my feelings towards her that i realize now were platonic in entirety. i didn't want to upset her, she was one of my best friends. so i managed to manipulate myself into believing i liked her, and i said i did, too. "soo, does this mean we're dating?" she asked. "..uh i think so," i replied.

after that, we considered each other girlfriends, and, as i mentioned, there was a 3-almost-4-year age gap, and as i also mentioned, i was dumb and naive. she'd always comment about how she.. "loved how innocent i was.." i have no idea how i didn't look into what she said more.

she'd also bring me to hang out with her older sister, who i actually don't know the age of, but i believe was in her early 20s. since i'm introducing a lot of people who go by the same pronouns, i'll, from now on, be referring to my groomer as blue and her sister as bug. random-sounding, yes, but those were the names i called them by when we played online games.

i did not like bug. she was mean and petty (and i'm pretty sure did some very illegal things behind our backs), but, unlike blue, didn't try to hide it. she made it clear that she hated me; she actually broke us up twice, which i am thankful for; the first time, where she was directly responsible, we got back together after a week, and the second time, it was forever, but she only played a small part in that one. i'm not going into the details involving bug because they are not relevant.

the actually relevant parts though. we had been "dating" for a few months, and she had turned 17. i was browsing through the internet when i realized i had an incoming message from a forum thingy we used; it had a PM feature, and none of us had cellphone service (i didn't even have a cellphone), so we used that in place of texting, which i know now was not safe at all, we shouldn't have done that. it was from blue. it read: "i want to break up. i get a bad feeling when we're together. can we please forget this and be friends?" YES, BITCH, YOU SHOULD "GET A BAD FEELING WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER", YOU'RE A FUCKING PEDOPHILE. (censored cause i'm scared of the mods-) iiiii snapped! (well, snapped the most a stupid 13-year-old could) i replied something to the effect of, "yes, we can freaking break up, burn in hell!" (complete with fake swears!) and deleted her from my friends list, blocked her on all platforms i could have and went to school in a mess. (it wasn't this simple but i don't wanna talk about bug and her involvement in this)

that should have been the end of it. we had "broken up", she was in high school so we couldn't bump into each other at school, and i had cut contact. but then, a week later, i got a friend request on the aforementioned forum from bug. i was in a disastrous state. i had started to depend on her before this, in a way that wasn't healthy. i thought i had a girlfriend, after all. ..why wouldn't i be overexcited about it..? so.. i accepted. i knew it was something about the "break-up." there was no way it couldn't have been. then, bug messaged me. "heyy.. *blue* wants you two to get back together. *blah blah blah*. i know what happened, and what she said, and she says the bad feeling is worse now. it wasn't you."

and i knew by now, i forgave people too easily. i had had fights with all of the people i considered friends, and forgave them when it was clearly their fault. i had come to realize that. and i wanted to get back together, too. but i knew that i shouldn't forgive her this time, so i mustered all the strength i had, which wasn't a lot, and typed, "no. i won't get back with her. don't contact me. tell her that."

so yup. toxic, pedophilic relationships!! yay..

[gay-otlc]

hi honest sincere question how can a man be a lesbian? can amab men be lesbians?

Hi! Thanks for asking respectfully. I am going to answer your question in significantly more detail than you probably wanted. Be warned.

The main reason I think men can be lesbians is: I think people can use whatever words they think most accurately describe their identity and/or experience. These words might not necessarily be words that they are, but still words that they use to describe themselves.

Lesbian does have a lot of feminine connotations, and can cause dysphoria for many men, so men who use both terms have often put a lot of thought into it. I might not understand their reasons, but I'm sure they have their reasons.

You don't need to understand to be respectful, but if you're curious, here is an explanation of why some men choose to identify as lesbians. This got so long that I'm dividing it with subtitles. I'm so sorry if you didn't want to read all this.

Lesbian Trans Men

Men who identify as lesbians tend to be trans men. Of course, wanting to use the label lesbian is a minority of trans men who like women! Definitely don't assume all trans mlw are comfortable being called a lesbian, or call a trans man a lesbian without permission.

At least for me, labels describe how I feel in the present but also the way I have experienced gender and attraction throughout my life. Right now I'm a man who's attracted to women, but at lunch today I was talking about how it felt in middle school to be a "girl" who liked girls, and I used the word lesbian to communicate that.

Trans men who have spent a very long time identifying as a lesbian and being a part of the lesbian community, often decades, might continue using the label lesbian after transitioning. If a trans man feels like he spent his life as a lesbian rather than a straight man, the former might feel most accurate to describe his experience.

Trans men might also identify as lesbian due to being in the closet. Internally, I feel more like a straight man, but that's not really how I'm seen by the rest of the world. I'm out to a few close friends offline, but pretty much all my other classmates or teachers or relatives or acquaintances think of me as a woman.

If I called myself straight, that would most likely be interpreted as me being a straight woman. I'm open about liking women, though, which means I would either have to be out as lesbian or bi. I definitely shouldn't call myself bi, because I'm not attracted to multiple genders. So, I go with lesbian. It's not the perfect label, but it gets the point across. (The point being "I think women are hot.")

Male =/= Solely, Always, Exclusively Male

Men who are lesbians are not always exclusively men. Multigender people exist! I'm one of them. If someone is bigender with those genders being a man and a woman, and they're attracted to women, I don't think it really makes sense to say that they can't be a lesbian.

I'm assuming you (anon) support nonbinary lesbians, since that's the general trend I've noticed among those who are trans-inclusive but don't understand male lesbians. Some nonbinary people will also identify as men. If nonbinary people can be lesbians, nonbinary men can be lesbians.

A genderfluid person might sometimes be a man and sometimes be another gender(s) that are more commonly included in lesbianism, and like women, and use both labels.

This could apply to anyone regardless of assigned gender, so those are some examples of how a man assigned male at birth could be a lesbian.

AMAB Male Lesbians

As for whether men who were AMAB can be lesbians... yes, but I want to clarify that not just any cis man should go "lol I'm a lesbian" because it's funny. Someone would need to put thought into why the feel like lesbian is the best label for them.

In the case of a man who was AMAB, they would probably feel like lesbian is a good descriptor due to having a complex relationship with their gender. Being genderqueer and being an AMAB man or AFAB woman are not mutually exclusive.

Gender Non Conformity

There's a type of identity that I believe is referred to as a cusp identity, or something like that? It is where someone might blur the line or exist in the grey area between two different identities with an overlap in a lot of experiences.

There might be someone who is on the cusp right between being a trans woman and an extremely gender nonconforming man. They might not be sure which one they fall into, or feel like they exist right in the middle. This person might identify simultaneously as or right between "lesbian trans woman" and "feminine presenting cishet man."

There are also some people who identify with their assigned gender, but pursue medical transition in a way typically associated with a different gender. I have a friend who identifies fully as a cis woman, but thinks she might want to get bottom surgery. It's a type of gender nonconformity, you know?

I don't know anyone who's had this experience in reverse, but it's definitely possible. I'm sure there's a cis man out there somewhere who has or wants to medically transition to "female." And I think it would make sense if this hypothetical person wanted to identify as a lesbian.

Trans Women

Just to be clear, I am NOT saying trans women are men. They aren't. (Unless they're multigender, which is cool.) But monogender trans women aren't men, and definitely should not be misgendered.

Similar to how a straight trans man might be closeted and call himself a lesbian, a lesbian trans woman might be closeted and call herself a man. Again, this lesbian trans woman wouldn't be a man. However, a she might refer to herself as a man to stay safe, or just because she's not comfortable being out yet, but might also refer to herself as a lesbian online or around a few people she's close with. She's not actually a lesbian man, but using both labels would still be enough to get cancelled by those violently against male lesbians.

Some trans women might also still be eggs (not yet realize they're trans). I know that prior to coming out as trans, some gay trans people have said something like "I'm a man, but I want to be in a lesbian relationship" or "I'm a girl and I love reading mlm fanfiction, I like to imagine myself as one of the characters." A trans woman just beginning to explore gender could identify or want to identify with being a lesbian, while still not fully realizing she's not a man. Again- not actually a man, but someone who might use both labels.

Arguments Against Lesbian Men

Now, I know there are a lot of reasons this is controversial, and some of them are even in good faith. However, they are still misguided.

"It's Misgendering Trans Men"

Many people are opposed to trans men being lesbians because they're trans men and would feel dysphoric if called a lesbian, or are an ally and don't want trans men to be misgendered.

That's a very understandable concern, but see my earlier note about not calling a trans man a lesbian without permission.

Trans men aren't a monolith, and everyone's comfortable with different things. Some trans men are comfortable wearing dresses and some trans men are comfortable being called "sis" or "queen" or something, but many aren't, and that's all okay!

I think people just need to be clear that even though some trans men are okay with this, it doesn't apply to all trans men.

"Cishet Men Will Pretend To Be Lesbians"

Another reason people are against male lesbians is because they're concerned cis straight men will call themselves lesbians for no reason other than they think it's funny, or they want to make lesbians uncomfortable. Which I agree; that's shitty, and they shouldn't do that.

But I feel like most of the time, they do make it pretty clear they don't genuinely identify as a lesbian. People with complex or contradicting identities generally understand that their labels don't make a lot of sense at first glance, so they tend to offer a short explanation. They have no obligation to go on and on defending their right to exist, but a sentence or two is good and most people are totally willing to provide that.

I've had friends ask about me being both a trans man and a lesbian, and I've given a short explanation, and it works! Because they aren't assholes! The main one that comes to mind happened shortly after I told my best friend I was changing my name, and it went something like this.

Me, after seeing a pretty girl: Oh my god, I'm so gay for her. Friend: Do you still identify as gay? I thought you might want to be called straight now, since you're a trans guy. Me: I'm, like, both a man and a woman? So lesbian and straight man are both fine with me. Friend: Okay, cool. Let me know if you decide you don't want to be called lesbian anymore since I don't want to make you feel dysphoric.

And then that was it! It wasn't a big deal. With just a short conversation, I established that I was a lesbian man because I'm bigender and not because I'm just saying it for the lols.

I do understand the desire to stop cishet men from making lesbian jokes, but the thing is, there's no reliable way to do so that won't also end up harming some queer people. I mean, TERFs argue that trans women can't be lesbians because then what's to stop a straight man from invading the lesbian community by falsely claiming he's a trans woman, you know? But just because some people might abuse other queer peoples' genuine identity, doesn't mean no one can use that identity.

"They're Invading Lesbian Spaces"

Those against male lesbians are trying to stop men from invading lesbian spaces. While I agree that lesbian spaces should be for lesbians, and I think it's wrong for people to attend an all-lesbian support group or something if they know they're not a lesbian, I also know I can't stop them.

What are we supposed to do, go around forcing everyone there to prove they are a Real Actual Lesbian? Who decides what a Real Actual Lesbian is? How do we verify if people are telling the truth on the questions asked to prove Real Actual Lesbian? Keeping 100% of non lesbians out of lesbian spaces just isn't a feasible goal and it's not fair to make everyone prove their identity like that.

If someone in a lesbian safe space is causing any harm to others, they should be kicked out, but this applies even if they are a Real Actual Lesbian. Lesbians are perfectly capable of hurting other lesbians and being a lesbian doesn't give them a free pass to get out of consequences.

Male Lesbians Are Rapists

An extension of the "invading lesbian spaces" arguments is that lesbian men are forcing or pressuring lesbians to date or sleep with men.

However, lesbian men don't necessarily expect or even want other lesbians to be attracted to them. Lesbians don't have to be attracted to every other lesbian in the world! Sometimes, people don't find another person attractive, and that's fine. Sometimes, people are not attracted to a certain gender, and someone of that gender being a lesbian won't change that.

I'm not attracted to nonbinary people, and there are plenty of nonbinary lesbians, and I'm not attracted to them. Which is fine! Them being lesbians doesn't mean I have to be attracted to them, and me not being attracted to them doesn't make them not lesbians. Accepting someone as their identity doesn't mean you have to find them attractive.

I might be attracted to a lesbian and ask her out, and she might respond "Sorry, I'm not attracted to men and since you're bigender I wouldn't be comfortable sleeping with you."

What I would not say: "But I'm a lesbian! You accepted me into your lesbian safe space, which means you have to sleep with me. Checkmate."

What I would say: "I understand, have a nice day."

In the above scenario, if someone in that situation refused to accept that the lesbian woman wasn't attracted to them, that would be shitty no matter what. It would be shitty if that person was a male lesbian, and it would be shitty if that person was a cis woman. Because it is shitty to not respect people's boundaries.

This isn't something only lesbian men are capable of doing. Most lesbian men are perfectly respectful people who would not rape anyone, and if they do? They're shitty, but they're not shitty because they're a lesbian man. They're shitty because they're a rapist.

Claiming that someone would lie about their gender identity to rape people is entry-level transphobia. You cannot believe "male lesbians are just lying so they can rape lesbians" and then call yourself a trans ally. They are mutually exclusive.

Political Lesbianism

Finally, this argument is derived from TERF rhetoric. If you're not familiar with political lesbianism, it's a radical feminist ideology that can be summarized by "don't date or fuck men." Being a lesbian was a feminist choice that wasn't necessarily about attraction to women, but about not being involved with men. This sounds quite a lot like the common lesbian definition used against male lesbians; "non men loving non men." A major component of TERFism is trying to keep men (or those they believe to be men) away from women's/lesbian spaces, and including trans women doesn't change the fact that the ideologies stem from the exact same place. There have been anti male lesbian posts that genuinely sound exactly like a TERF wrote them, which is pretty telling. If you're violently against any men ever being lesbians, odds are you've been drinking the TERF juice, and you probably need to unpack that.

Conclusion

This is ridiculously long and I have been writing it for the last two and a half hours. I am very thankful and also kind of apologetic to anyone who just read every single word I vomited out.

Basically, even if you disagree with someone using both "man" and "lesbian" to label themself, I would recommend leaving them alone. They're describing their identity in the way that works best for them, and they're not hurting anyone. You don't need to like their identity, and you definitely don't need to understand it, but you do need to be respectful. It costs $0 to not be an asshole.

If you're considering telling a lesbian man their identity is invalid, take my advice and simply... don't do that. There are so many other things you could do with your time.

The queer community has a lot of problems. The world in general has even more problems. In the grand scheme of things, someone identifying as a male lesbian literally does not matter.

That's finally all, thanks for reading.

[sagevalleymusings]

Ted Lasso is an extremely subtle and nuanced show that we don't deserve and I'm going to defend a character I hate to prove it

So the series finale of Ted Lasso aired last night and I went out of my way to watch it even though I don't have a Hulumaxflix plus account, because I have utterly adored this whole season. I have seen a lot of disappointed fans and negative takes, even outside of the "it's woke now" brigade, and I disagree with pretty much all of the analyses I've seen so far. People are disappointed at the Tedbecca tease that never panned out, they're disappointed Jamie is talking to his dad again, they're disappointed all this stuff they wanted to happen didn't happen, tale as old as time. But I think the issue here is that Ted Lasso is written in the style of a daytime tv comedy while actually being an extremely heartfelt and pained letter to an abusive father that one of our writer was never able to send.

Co-creator and star Jason Sudeikis has gone on record saying the show is about bad dads. And we see examples of this all over the place. Some are more subtle than others.

But the problem with subtle shows is that you have a very wide audience to appeal to. I have seen and dare I say it even enjoyed both Primer and Groundhog Day. But trying to apply the time travel logic of the former to the latter just because they're both time travel movies would be folly. And this is how I feel about Ted Lasso. It has a lot of similarities to a style of show which is usually nowhere near this deep and it makes people expect something of it that it isn't providing. 

How do you know I'm not talking out my ass? Jack Danvers.

I hate Jack Danvers. We get a fucking lesbian for a change and she's an abusive cowardly closeted slut shaming piece of shit.

I love Jack Danvers. Because I knew she was 1) Keeley's financer and 2) a lesbian in under ten seconds of meeting this person, having seen only her shoes.

Jack is quiet and possibly even a little uncomfortable chatting with Keeley in the bathroom. But Keeley's so charming and open that you can't help but appreciate the quiet bonding moment it turns into.

But I've definitely been there. Women are so comfortable talking to each other in the bathroom and it makes me so uncomfortable. There have been so many times I have been made to feel unwelcome in this space and you want to have a chat...  Please go away.

Once it's revealed this is in fact Jack, it comes as a minor shock that Jack is a woman actually. Why is her name Jack if she's a woman?

It's because "my father wanted a boy."

Jack is one of Jason's "bad dad" characters. Which means her actions are a reflection of her childhood environment in a very pronounced way. Slowly but surely, we learn that Jack believes love is conditional.

Jack introduces us to the concept of love bombing and I think because the relationship progresses past that point, the audience is encouraged to forget this, but… love bombing isn't just new relationship energy. It's an abuse tactic. And we're told pretty explicitly that it's an abuse tactic because the person telling us about it is Rebecca, regarding her shitty and manipulative ex husband.

That Jack's relationship starts on this beat is noteworthy, because it sets up the dynamic that Jack believes she can only retain Keeley's affection if she buys it. Why does she think that?

Moving forward, we start to lapse into a false sense of security as Jack loudly proclaims their love in front of the whole office and is planning on showing Keeley off, only to have the rug ripped out from us the second something even slightly bad happens. 

But it isn't Jack's decision to make Keeley read out that apology and then pull funding when she refuses. Not if we're to believe Jack's word on it at least. It was "the board" whoever that is.

Jack peaces out to Argentina before the final shoe can drop, and it displays lastly an absolute cowardice on her part that she didn't even give Keeley the satisfaction of a break up. 

All of this combined makes me realize though that the sudden scrambling retreat is literally the other side of love bombing - we didn't drop that plot point just because we stopped talking about it. The motivations for both actions come from the same place. Jack believes love is conditional. She feels that she must earn Keeley's affection, and sees nothing wrong with withdrawing her own if Keeley doesn't do the same. And also, the actions of her partner reflecting negatively on her means that love can be withdrawn *from her* if she doesn't bow to pressure from those whose respect she's trying to maintain. 

The coming out moments in parallel with this lens are stark. Coming out to the office wasn't just about being open -it was about speed running earning Keeley's love and trust with grand acts of affection. And there are no consequences to coming out to people that far beneath you socially. Jack owns the HR firm that KJPR… might not have? Meanwhile her old college friend does matter. And when Keeley was a successful business woman to show off, that would have been fine. But now that she's part of a scandal? They're just friends. It serves her to come out to the firm in the interest of gaining Keeley's love, and it serves her to keep it hidden from her college friend, to avoid messy questions later that might make her look bad.

With her very name, Jack has been taught that there's a version of herself other people want her to be that she's incapable of reaching. And absolutely nothing we see from her suggests she's worked to unpack that trauma.

Jack is a minor character - a brief love interest in Keeley's life. But her decisions are deliberate and weighty. The good and bad moments are both informed by the same parental trauma, and the writers stick to it. They're true to character, even if it's "bad representation," even if it's not what fans want.

So let's talk about Tedbecca. I will reiterate that this show is about "bad dads" and more broadly about the ways in which who our parents are and how they raised us results in intergenerational trauma that's difficult to disrupt.

Ted and Rebecca are foils for each other. They both have absent fathers (eventually even they both have dead fathers) and they both have emotionally controlling mothers (more on that in a moment). They both are starting a new chapter in their lives because of a divorce, and family is an important component of that divorce. 

And they are both responding to their trauma, especially in early episodes, the way they've always been taught to respond to that trauma. Rebecca schemes vengefully while pretending everything is fine on the outside because she's been taught that the people in her back will not support her. Her mother put up with shitty behavior from her father for years. Then when her father left, her mother turned into a flighty unreliable hypochondriac. She doesn't want to allow Rupert the same power over her, so she reacts like a cornered tiger.

But at the end of the day, what she wants is a family, and in a lot of ways Ted can't give her that. Is Ted going to have one child in America and another in Britain and split his time between the two? Does that sound like the kind of thing Ted would be willing to do? Nor do I think it's what Rebecca really wants because her desire for family isn't just about having a child, but having a stable family unit to come back to, one she didn't really have growing up. Maybe you could see them hooking up, but by the time their relationship has progressed that either of them could have, they've both grown past the desire to do so. Tedbecca isn't endgame because Rebecca needs someone calm and warm and relaxed to come home to, in contrast to her childhood being a parent to her mother, or the cat and mouse dance with her ex husband.

But Ted isn't much better. We see that his father's suicide soured their relationship, but holy crap do I want to talk about Ted's mom.

In every single scene that Ted and his mom are interacting in right up to the blowout fight, she is guilting him into behaving a particular way. She says he "was born nice" but in reality it's obvious that he's extremely used to having to guess at what someone wants and bend his life around that. Ted's mom wants to visit him so *waits around his apartment* until he notices and offers her a place to stay. Ted's mom wants to sleep in the bed while insisting otherwise (but immediately starts having specific plans about what that means re: suitcases don't go on the bed). Ted's mom wants to go to the game and Ted doesn't insist she go, so she sends a text saying she wishes she were there. It is a relentless barrage of emotional abuse.

No wonder Ted is so sensitive to the lies she's telling people, also the whole time. How many fights have they had where he's done something because she asked him to, only for her to turn around and say "I never asked for that" and have that technically be true? And in fact we are explicitly told in the blow out that she responded to her *husband's suicide* by pretending everything was normal.

And then, finally, we get the truth. She's not there because she wanted to visit London (a thing she said explicitly which turns out was also a lie). She's there to guilt Ted into coming home by using his guilt over leaving his son. Is Ted… also a bad dad?

Ted's entire generous, forgiving personality was shaped by these two parents. One, who was a good man despite making what I would say is the only unforgivable act of selfishness, and the other, who is a manipulative woman who demands generosity from the people around her despite never overtly saying such.

Ted isn't just forgiving of Beard because of the guilt and anger over his father's death. He's also willing to go the extra mile for people because he thinks it's his job. 

Ted leaves for Richmond because his wife wants space, but in a lot of ways it's also an act of selfishness. After all, his ex wife says that she didn't want them to take a break, she wanted to know that Ted would fight for their relationship. And he doesn't - in fact he does the opposite. We now have context to know that asking for something without really asking for it explicitly is a trigger for Ted. So he sees what looks like the emotional manipulation of his mother coming from his wife, panics, and runs as fast and as far away from the situation as he can.

That Ted could never be in a relationship with his boss. Tedbecca isn't endgame because Ted needs a relationship where he can be selfish. 

And I think, genuinely, that all of this is intentional on the part of the writers. A relationship with Ted and Rebecca could never have been healthy, because they are the same character, but one of them is fight and the other is flight.

This show is so, so smart. And I think it's absolutely tragic how much of that smartness is missed because we aren't used to shows with this level of carefully crafted nuance. My god, the scene where Nate comes out of his room and the first shot is an all white hallway with absolutely no distinguishing features? My god. The flex of having the characters singing, and you can hear them walking off, Dani is literally getting louder as he gets closer to the camera! That's studio audio because their breathing doesn't line up with the dancing, but it sure sounds like it was recorded on a soccer pitch. I looked up the name of Keeley's form because I distinctly remember the last scene *not* saying KJPR and turns out in a blink and you'll miss it moment, she changed the name to KBPR to honor the fact that Barbara stood by her when Jack pulled funding.1

I could go on and on and on. There's so many moments where the writers just jam packed meaning and nuance to bursting in this show. 

In the "morning after" scene in the series finale, Ted is wearing a KC shirt, specifically a KC Current shirt, which is a women's professional soccer team. That says a lot all on its own for that being the shirt

In fact, Ted wears a lot of KC shirts on the show. He wears Richmond shirts… when he's at work. 

There's a lot more I could say, and maybe even will. I want to give the jamie/keeley/roy OT3 another look from the top at some point. But I just wanted to get something topical out quickly, because good shows deserve to be showered in praise, and I really think the negative publicity on Ted Lasso specifically is an absolute crime. We can't expect to see writers take a chance on something this detail oriented and nuanced again any time soon if we just skip all the nuance and get mad they didn't doll smash our favorite characters together.

[gerrydelano]

heartbreak for any of the four?

heartbreak: Have they ever had a relationship that ended badly? Experienced some other kind of heartbreak? What happened?

oofa doofa! i will answer for all four ^_^

ask game!

CASEY: he's definitely the person who gets himself tied in KNOTS over crushes, even though he gets calmer in the relationship itself. he had one girlfriend who he was with for two years, noelle, and imo they had an amicable breakup that didn't actually devastate him at all. sometimes things just don't work! and he handled it like a grown-up. meanwhile, in his relationship with pruitt, he goes a bit. Haywire. and heartbreak wise, he gets very used to disappointment and bad news and feeling so much pain for somebody that it breaks your heart, too. and his bitterness upon ayla's disappearance is on TOP of bitterness from being long distance and fraught with pruitt after pruitt is taken in by overseers. so he doesn't handle that shit well at all, but it's fairly new and it only really gets bad after the trauma of the inciting incident. he's also the only one who had no internet grooming experiences because it just didn't happen like that for him imo he escaped lol

AYLA: she is actually the heartbreakER. at least once. she was dating one of casey's friends, micah, for like also two ish years, and she was like... going through the motions. he was a sweet enough guy and so she figured it was Fine but then she got a bit too close with one of her roommates, odette, and after a kiss she realized OH CRAP I'M LESBIAN and she rushes to break up with poor micah LMAO and he's like. hurt, but he gets past it, because he wouldn't have wanted to trap her in feeling anything less than Herself. she even breaks her current gf's heart, bambi, after she comes back from being gone. as for heartbreaks She experiences herself, she was in fact a Girl On The Internet and was probably groomed by somebody at some point and thought she was in love with them and had to deal with the shit we all dealt with like the suicide threats and blablabla. cried over That plenty. but then she grows up and looks back and is like huh. i should have told that guy to go fuck himself.

PHILOMENA: she has probably got a colorful enough "dating" history as a TRANS girl On The Internet as well i.e. was also definitely groomed at some point, imo by a woman, and she had her vulnerability taken advantage of and it's not fair and it Sucks and she's just. y'know she's been through a lot of the Same Old Shit that a loooot of people in our generation have gone through, made worse by transmisogynoir, and a lot of it is completely heartbreaking. probably a good deal of the reason she closes herself off so much now and is very protective of herself and her heart, even to the point of Neglecting her own happiness. poor fucking philomena. i'm sure she's had honest relationships that ended up hurting too because when she DOES get invested she really puts her whole self into it and that's always a recipe for pain when you're growing up, no matter who you are.

PRUITT: this man has been so violently isolated his whole life that the primary heartbreak he experiences is at the hands of his mother constantly betraying and using him for her own gain. it's a twisted relationship and sometimes he gets that confusing feeling that he's treating it the same way she is Which He Isn't Of Course but that's lifelong psychological trauma and brainwashing for you. he didn't really have relationships with peers but probably did also get a taste of Weird Internet Relationship because he has a habit of clinging to anyone that gives him attention and affection and is a very desperate individual because he is like. man my life can't revolve around my fucking Mother forever. but it gets him into some minor trouble, until casey. and boy does casey break his heart sometimes. first time that happened was probably when casey didn't believe him when he said he never killed anyone for his black market dealer "boss." happens a few times throughout but man during their Distant and Drifting period he is completely heartbroken and just tries to focus on other things, like his overseer tasks. all in all he's not having a good time. casey is the first person he's ever been in love with and who he ever felt really loved by in return so when things get tense between them he has no practice in coping with it.

[cherry-valentine]

Summer 2023 Anime Season

Here’s what I’m watching!

Shinigami Bocchan to Kuro Maid Season 2 has been adorable, just like season 1. It follows a young man who was cursed by a witch to kill any living thing he touches (clothes don’t prevent it so gloves are useless) and his beautiful maid who remains with him despite the danger, as well as a growing cast of characters who end up involved with them. Despite the grim premise, the show is overall lighthearted and sweet, more comedy than drama (though there are definitely some darker moments sprinkled throughout). Season 2 has been paying much more attention to the secondary couple of the series, Zain and Cuff, a pair of witches who have befriended the leads. They’re almost as cute as the main couple, so it’s been fun to watch their relationship develop (also I should note that they are a heterosexual couple, since “a pair of witches” might imply otherwise; there is a lesbian couple among the witches and they’re also adorable but they’re minor characters unfortunately). The show has always been about forming connections despite seemingly insurmountable obstacles, and I appreciate that these connections come in many forms, from romance to friendships to family ties. It’s a big hearted show with fun design work and cute music. The animation is CG and, well, it doesn’t always look great, but it’s not hideous and I’ve seen far worse. If you can look beyond the animation style, you’ll find an extremely endearing show.

Bungou Stray Dogs is on season 5… I think? Regardless, it remains one of the best anime I’ve seen in recent years. Once a show gets to this many seasons I feel like a plot summary is unnecessary. As I’ve said countless times already about this show, its true charm lies in its ability to blend all its different aspects into a satisfying experience without those different aspects distracting from each other. It can be hilarious, then heartbreaking, then thrilling, all within a few minutes of screen time and without diluting any of those feelings. It also does a great job of stacking the deck against the protagonists so that there’s a sense of tension and danger even when you’re fairly certain they will survive. One of the best things about this series, however, is that things don’t usually boil down to two guys punching each other to settle all the plot points. There are special abilities and characters with super strength and speed and of course that leads to a lot of cool battles, but there’s usually a lot more going on. There are nefarious plots and unique abilities with even more unique applications and characters engaging in mental warfare and chase sequences and cat and mouse games and so many other things besides straight up fights. This season in particular has highlighted these elements. The animation and design work are fantastic. The opening and ending themes are awesome (especially that opening holy shit). I wish everyone would try this series.

Undead Girl Murder Farce is a detective series with a supernatural twist. The detective in question is Aya, an immortal disembodied head being carried in a birdcage by her two attendants, a sharpshooting maid named Shizuku and an oni. The oni is Tsugaru, a somewhat jovial and laidback human-demon hybrid with incredible strength and the ability to kill or at least damage other supernatural creatures. In this world, pretty much all mythological creatures exist, from vampires to werewolves to even fictional characters like Sherlock, Frankenstein, Dracula, and the Phantom of the Opera. The overarching plot of the series is about Aya and her companions traveling through Europe in search of her missing body, solving cases involving supernatural creatures along the way. Aya herself is an interesting character, being intelligent enough to give Sherlock a run for his money while being lighthearted enough to joke about her own body-less predicament. Tsugaru is also a delight. He takes pretty much everything in stride and has an entertainer’s mannerisms, but he’s monstrously strong and his bond with Aya and Shizuku is charming to watch. The art and animation look great. The backgrounds are lovely and the clothing designs in particular are very pleasing. It has my favorite opening theme of the season and my second favorite ending theme. Highly recommended.

My Happy Marriage is another new series this season. Set during the Meiji Restoration period, the story focuses on an unfortunate young woman named Miyo. She’s basically Cinderella, abused and treated like a slave by her wicked stepmother and half sister (though in this story her father is just as bad) after her mother passed away when she was a child. Miyo is seen as useless because she has no supernatural abilities in a world where all the prominent families have them. Seemingly in an attempt to get rid of her, her family shoves her into an arranged marriage with a man named Kiyoka who is notoriously cruel and has frightened off several potential brides already. Since this is a sweet romance anime at its core, the rumors about Kiyoka have been greatly exaggerated (he’s gorgeous and super kind, which really shouldn’t be a spoiler if you’re familiar with any kind of romance tropes). But just because Miyo lucked out in the husband department doesn’t mean her life is suddenly perfect. There are lots of different forces at work, from jealous family members to political machinations. Plus there’s a lifetime of trauma for poor Miyo to deal with, which is handled in a sensitive and realistic way. The show overall is wholesome and definitely a slow burn, but that makes sense. Trauma doesn’t go away when your life improves. The series has a lot of other things going on concerning the abilities of different families and political maneuvering, but I enjoy it most when it’s just about Miyo and Kiyoka developing their relationship. The animation is beautiful, with a soft color palette and lovely backgrounds. Recommended if you like romance in historical settings and don’t mind some supernatural shenanigans.

Jujutsu Kaisen is on season 2, and this season has two very distinct arcs (punctuated by a three week break between them). The first arc is a prequel story showing the teenage years of Gojo, the protagonist’s arrogant but fun teacher from season 1. This arc has two primary purposes: to show Gojo becoming the absurdly overpowered beast we saw in the first season and to show his best friend Geto’s trauma-fueled descent into villainy. Both were handled exceedingly well and at this point they’re probably the five best episodes of the series. I had watched and enjoyed season 1 but honestly didn’t think much about the series after it was over. But these episodes? They made me a full blown fan. They made me go read the manga and get completely caught up in two days (to be fair I skimmed some stuff pertaining to characters I’m not super into). Since they’re a prequel story, I’d even feel good recommending that someone start with them, just to see what this show is capable of. Because the animation is mind blowing. It looks like movie-budget animation. The music is perfection (my favorite ending theme of the season). It’s just a very slick, cool package. I don’t have a lot to say about the second arc of the season because it just started, but if it follows the manga closely it will be amazing. The Shibuya Incident arc is one of the best arcs in modern shounen, taking place all in one night (Halloween night! I was sold right there!) and having some of the most gut wrenching moments in the series. So I expect great things. That new opening is an absolute banger too. Highly recommended.

Best of Season:

Best New Series: Undead Girl Murder Farce

Best Opening Theme: Undead Girl Murder Farce

Best Ending Theme: Jujutsu Kaisen (first half)

Best New Male Character: Tsugaru (Undead Girl Murder Farce)

Best New Female Character: Aya (Undead Girl Murder Farce)

[wingsofthesun]

I got one like so here's my sexuality headcanons for some of the cast!

* Please note that these are my own personal headcanons.

** Tails, Cream, etc. Are not included due to being too young; even though I do have years passing throughout the series they're still not/are barely preteens by the time Frontiers rolls around

Sonic: On the aromantic spectrum! If he ever ends up getting romantic feelings for someone it will be someone he's known for years. If that happens though he does not care about gender in the slightest. He's also just flat out asexual regardless of romantic attraction.

Knuckles: Also probably a bit on the aromantic spectrum. He is also the biggest disaster bi in the whole series. He contains multitudes and that is valid of him.

Amy: Bi! Attracted to boys and girls pretty equally when it comes down to actual romance.

Big: Not going to lie I'm not convinced he's even mortal and not some sort of minor deity so he's probably above such things. I guess aroace?

Shadow: Aroace. If he does ever get attracted to someone it'd probably be another guy though.

Rouge: Bi, but with preference towards other women. Demisexual, though well aware of what her looks can get her.

Omega: He is in a committed relationship with destruction.

Vector: The token cishet of the entire cast. Is a very enthusiastic ally though! He cried when he took Espio to his first Pride probably because he was so proud.

Espio: This chameleon gay! Good for him! Good for him.

Silver: Hasn't figured out his actual sexuality yet because the apocalypse keeps happening and he has other things to worry about but he is at the very least bi, possibly ace. Either gets way too many crushes on people or picks one person and latches on. No in-between.

Blaze: Bi. Has noticed she has a slight preference towards women.

Jet: Gay. Is in an extremely transparent closet. Probably tries to be homophobic because he's not ready to admit he has a giant crush on Sonic and gets smacked by Wave for it.

Wave: Lesbian. Gets Jet to shut up by asking if he has a problem with her. He doesn't of course, he's just insecure and needs to get taken down a peg.

Storm: ???? Aroace????

Tangle: Lesbian. The biggest disaster lesbian you'll ever meet. She tries though, she tries so hard. Whisper loves her for trying.

Whisper: Demiromantic, large preference towards other girls. Is the one that actually asked Tangle out.

[bumblyburg]

ted lasso finale thoughts

Need the richmond women's team spinoff NOW!!!!!!!!!!! And it better have LESBIANS i swear to god!!!!!!!

As always the strongest part of this ep was the team dynamics. Roy joining the diamond dogs. Isaac with the penalty kick!!!! The fucking dance sequence callback T^T theres no place like afc richmond <3 Them winning the match but losing the whole thing was a good balance of success vs realism. I didn't know enough about football to predict it beforehand LOL but that probably worked in my favor bc i genuinely didnt know whether they would win or lose. Rebecca and ted's friendship was heartwarming as always. I was living in fear that they'd become a couple even though i knew that wasn't what the writers were going for, so I probably need to rewatch to fully enjoy it.

Tedependent lost RIP. it would have made sense but at the same time im kinda glad they didn't, at least this season. trent was still very much a side character and i just don't think the story beats were there for tedtrent endgame. the story would have had to been constructed differently, or it would need another season. I also liked how the main focus was ted & rebecca's friendship rather than either of their romantic relationships. I love a good romance but its not what this story is about.

Thats part of the reason why the dutchman return felt cheap to me lol. Sorry rebecca im always rooting for you but i just wasn't feeling it. Another part of that is probably because Ted and Trent had a much stronger foundation and we still didn't get to see even their friendship develop as much as i would have liked. Maybe ive been spoiled by all the trent this season idk. but i was just hoping for a little more. After all, it's not lost on me that we only got one confirmed gay couple at the end (we don't even know anything about Michael!!! Ugh sorry Im a michael hater he's so boring.)

Speaking of boring, I simply do not care about ted's family. So him moving back was... not really compelling for me. like none of the kansas characters are fleshed out at all. i wish they had done something more interesting with them so i could actually get invested. There was something there with michelle dating their couples therapist, but it ended up falling flat imo. Also Michelle being a teacher is a total copout, I would have preferred if she had an unexpected job that revealed a new side to her. Give her a personality outside of being a wife/mother/caretaker please and thank you.

I did like how Royjamie was left openended!!! thats the ship i care most abt and i knew it wasnt going to *actually* happen so im satisfied with what we got. I am in the (im assuming) minority of royjamie enjoyers that is against roykeeleyjamie. This episode really hammered it in why roy and jamie are not good for keeley LOL, but the signs have been there all along. Keeley needs to be her own boss for a bit! Roy and jamie are just not at her maturity level (lovingly), and they've got some misogyny to work through.

(I need to think on it more, but I'm pretty sure that I liked the way this episode/season handled the Roy And Jamie Are Lowkey Sexist subplot. Like the whole fighting over a woman thing is soooo trite atp, and i still dont know how i feel about them physically fighting over her or whatever. but the story was realistic about how these asshole male footballers are going to have some weird views about women, while still shutting that down those views. like not even giving them the time of day. Keeley literally shoos them out without a word LMAO. So idk need to think about it more but at least keeley didnt end up with either of them).

Hey you know who DOES deserve each other.... and makes each other better people, as represented by their football training arc.... the student is the teacher and the teacher is the student etc etc…… Anyways royjamie is real TO ME!!! (And brett goldstein and phil dunster, number one royjamie warriors. phil dunster wrote royjamie smut I will never get over that)

Overall im sad to see ted lasso go. i think i need to sit with all 3 seasons a bit more before forming my full opinion, but s1 will always have my heart. Mostly because evil jamie and evil rebecca are so so fun to watch.

[salzmine]

My two cents noone asked for...Wranduin edition.

Prior interests, easy solutions:

Ive read in posts that Anduin has shown interest in girls before (like a gnome and a dwarf) and a human girl named Tess, if Im not mistaken. And while this hints at a preference, its not really relevant, as he is a teen, and teens easily develop crushes. (even if he didnt show interests in boys before, maybe he just didnt find anyone interesting enough, or developed this preference later, could be anything) This doesnt even have to be redconnd

Either treat it as it was, random crushes of a teenager, or (Im not sure on the details but Im pretty sure his mom is dead) him seeing his mother in those girls, only realizing this later (mommy issues). Im not even sure what happened to those interests, I think those were from a book, which is already to be taken with a grain of salt unless it is actively in the game (at least in my opinion) I think Tess is in the game, what happened to her? 

In any case, instead of making a drama out of it, with jealousy and hurt, it could easily lead to infinitely more interesting story arcs. (one of which Ill probably elaborate in another post)

Age gap. Homo bad, hetero good?

Wrathions age is awkward. I dont know the details but from what I could gather from posts he is 2 to 5 years old. Im also not sure if dragon aging has ever been explained in game.

Which doesnt really matter because Blizzard decided to not only give this whelp an adult human avatar, he also has the wits and behaviours (as far as I can tell) of an adult. While one can disregard the human avatar, since, from what I can tell, they choose their form, so he could just choose to look adult to not be treated like a child, he is way too smart and knowledgeable for a toddler.

Huge age gaps especially when a minor is involved is a bad thing, but in this case its between a dragon whelp and a teenage human boy. Both relatively young, plus the unclear aging of dragons. One could try to explain it like dog to human years, if you will. 2 dog years are 14 human years, which would make a 2 year old dog and a 14 year old human the same age. Then you could argue that dragons live a  long ass time though so why would they  grow up so fast, to which you could point to long living beings like turtles. Nature (especially in a fantasy environment) can be whatever really.

Imo, it does work, I do understand though when people reject this ship because of the confusing age gap.

But while I understand why,  I also  doubt this would be much of an issue if one of the characters were a female, seeing as loli relations are rather popular and weirdly tolerated.

Male friendships in peril:

An argument Ive read a lot, not only about this ship but any gay ship in any media, is, that the people who want representation, are trying to erase male friendships.

To that I say, where?

With thousands upon thousands upon millions upon billions of media, to this day moving forward, that involve two men being hetero friends, people dare claim that male friendships are being erased, while happily erasing possible platonic relationships between girls and boys because girls and boys cannot coexist without instantly falling in love and fucking. Friendship erasure seems to really only be an issue when its gay.

With hundreds of characters, main and background, being straight, you decide to have a temper tantrum about 2 (two!) characters possible being gay for eachother.

To which people may counter „Buts its a king and a prince! They cant be gay! They need heirs!“

Which leads me to my next point.

The scandal of a homo relationship and the need of an heir (and easy solutions):

There are many possibilites to make this work, especially in a fantasy setting.

Leaning on reality, we have adoption, which is less favourable since its not their own blood.

Or surrogacy, like many homosexual pairings like to do in for example India. Gay and lesbian couples come together to make children while still enjoying their freedom to be with the person they love.

Advanced science. At some point humanity will reach a scientific level where they can make artificial children in artifical wombs, with sperm and eggs they make out of the dna of you and your partner.

Which can easily be translated into a fantasy setting, that not only has magic but also uses science, like in WoW.

And finally, magic.

Having children only ever seems to be a problem when it comes to gays.

You cant deny homosexal pairings their biological children while at the same time being ok with human females being dicked down by various creatures, creating humanX hybrids.

We cant even crossbreed with other primates.

Those humanX hybrids also only work with either magic, or science (dna adapting mutations and the like).

In a world where human(or other)X hybrids exist, people use portals, people turn into bears, birds cats, a world with spirits and all kind of magical creatures, beings, monsters, environments, two gays having biological children is an absolute none-issue.

Reminds me of the adventure time drama, where people complained, that lesbians cant have eachothers kids. In a world with all kinds of magical impossibilites going on, this is the hill some people want to die on.

Another example, Steven universe. A gem forming a womb out of light, and giving birth to a human gem hybrid is widely accepted. Because why not, its fantasy science.

So why not give gays the same acceptance.

Is race/species relevant?

A minor point I just wanted to mention. For some antishippers race/species may be an issue in this ship.

The human king of Stormwind marrying another race/species. Would that be a problem?

A scandal perhaps, and it wouldnt be easy, but it would help race relations in the long run imo.

Besides, this is somehow only an issue when its two guys.

I think its pretty safe to say if one of them was a girl it would be deemed a romantic tragedy and theyd be rooted for.

Another point I briefly want to touch upon is where people argue that the existence of the characters on their own is being neglected. Both characters on their own are interesting, but its the dynamic they have together that is much more intriguing, they compliment eachother, and its cute.

I just wanted to vent a little about this.

DISCLAIMER: I did no research for this post, ignorance is bliss.

Also I barely know the story of WoW, Im more of a level/gear grinding kind of player.

Source: Mostly my ass, and various tumblr/twitter posts.

Note: As soon as the canon changes, if one of them gets a girlfriend or married, I will lose interest and stop posting about it.

[s1rcus]

Complicated Past

Rating: General

Words:  864

Fandoms: Apex Legends

Relationships: Horizon | Mary Somers & Valkyrie | Kairi Imahara

Characters:  Valkyrie | Kairi Imahara,  Horizon | Mary Somers

Additional tags: Minor Loba Andrade/Valkyrie | Kairi Imahara, Past Horizon | Mary Somers/Ash | Ashleigh Reid

Summary: Kairi gets grouped up with Horizon and Ash. Horizon seems to be having a bad day and Kairi decides to check on her.

Story below the cut or in AO3 here

Valkyrie had been put in a squad with Ash and Horizon for today's game. Not her first choice, but she has to admit both of them were good. She always prefers to be with Loba though, instead of being put to be against her. Hopefully they wouldn't be crossing paths today.

Grabbing some heavy ammunition for the 30-30 she had picked up earlier, she scans the area around and realizes Horizon to be nowhere to be seen.

"Ash, would you happen to know where the Doctor has gone?" she asks Ash who's currently trying to decide if she should switch her C.A.R. to the R-99 she had just found. She seems to decide against it and turns to Kairi.

"I am a doctor too you know," she answers, "but no, I don't know where Somers is."

"I'll jet up to scan the area and maybe I'll see her," Kairi says and boosts up to the sky.

"Doctor Somers, where are you?" She hears Ash call over the comms.

"At ma limit with ya," is Somers' answer.

"Come now Mary, we have to work together," Ash says with her ever stoic voice, but Kairi would bet she was slightly frustrated.

"Ya don't get tae call me Mary anymore," comes a harsh response.

Kairi whistles low. Drama. But then she spots Somers emptying a supply bin behind a building.

"Found her," she comms Ash, pings the location and dives towards Somers.

Once she's back on the ground she makes her way towards Somers, who's in the middle of switching to a higher level magazine. As she drops some of the ammunition she's been loading, Kairi hears her angrily mutter something she can't quite catch. Though she could swear it was something along the lines of "stupid heartless toaster".

"You alright Doc?"

"Aye. Newt an' I just wanted some peace an' quiet," she answers while the drone lets out a couple unsure beebs.

"You sure? That didn't sound too convincing to me."

"Nothin' ya need tae worry aboot dear."

"It's clearly bothering you, you're not one to not cooperate with your teammates. What happened between you and Ash?" She decides to still push.

Somers let's out a sad chuckle, "What didn't? Wee bit bad time for this, isnea it?"

"Guess so," she answers back.

I'll just find her after the match. She clearly needs to talk to someone.

------------

They didn't end up winning but at least their squad didn't come across Loba's, who actually ended up winning. After some celebrations Kairi manages to leaves the bar and Loba to look for Somers.

"So you and Ash, huh?" Kairi asks Somers as she walks into her lab later that evening.

"That obvious?" Somers answers without even lifting her gaze from her papers.

"Eh, not necessarily. I just happen to have a really good eye for lesbian drama," Kairi says and waits for Somers to chuckle, which she does. Then she gets to the point, "What actually happened between you two?"

"You dinnae need tae worry aboot that darlin'."

"Trust me, I wouldn't normally, but it's clearly something that's affecting your performance and I'd rather have you at your best if we're grouped up again."

Somers sighs and motions Kairi to take the empty seat in the lab. She puts her papers away in a file and picks up a pen that she fiddles with as she starts speaking.

"Reid came tae work under me while I was tryin' to figure out the energy crisis. She has a bloody brilliant mind an' we were sure we'd be able to do it together, which we did, eventually. We would work side by side long hours usually to the point she'd tell me to go home to my son. An' well, I fell in love, we did, or so I thought." Couple silent beats and Somers lets out a sad chuckle. "She betrayed me the last time I saw her as a human an' not that eedjit blender. She's the reason I'm here 87 years in the future instead of bein' back home with my boy."

"Wow, that's- I'm, that's way more complicated that I thought it would be. My last girlfriend cheated, that's more what I was expecting," Kairi says.

"The funny thing is, I don't think she'd do that to me. Sure she tried to kill me, but I don't think she'd actually want to hurt me."

"But she did, you're clearly hurting."

"I know. That's why it hurts so bad an' why I can't forgive her no matter how much my heart wants tae. But you're doin' better, aren't ya darlin'? I've seen ya with Loba," Somers says with a light smile towards her.

Kairi smirks. "I guess so. She's- nice but I'm unsure what exactly she wants. Lesbian drama is not fun when you're in it."

Somers laughs at that, "tell me aboot it."

They sit in silence for a bit then Somers gets up.

"Thanks, Petal. I actually needed that. But I have tae get back to work."

"Yeah, of course. Goodnight Doctor."

Kairi leaves the lab and Somers behind. After a story like that she could use another drink and possibly Loba's presence.

[nephriteknight]

so i had to watch the first episode of wednesday, which i had honestly been kind of avoiding, for homework today, and like no hate if it's your thing, i see the appeal, but im gonna be honest in just episode one we have

the only obviously disabled character is only disabled as a shortcut to make him seem weak/defenseless, mostly so they can do a twist reveal that he's a very minor antagonist, use him to set up the plot, and then immediately kill him

pretty much explicitly aro lead is strong-armed into a love triangle, which the show does nothing to justify except lingering glances from the love interests and camera shots we've been conditioned to read as romantic. my understanding is that this love triangle does, however ineffectively, play out and that she does get involved and at least kiss one of them

my other understanding is that much of fandom is of the opinion that the problem here is that she should be with her female friend instead, and that it's likely that jenna ortega will take things in that direction next season.

i don't think there's a world where i watched the show and absolutely loved it right away; i've been silently angry about the romantic situation for too long and i did not approach this show from an unbiased perspective. that said i really wasn't blown away by episode one. i'm kind of tempted to keep watching, mostly bc my sister adores it and i want to give it a shot, but it feels kinda boring, honestly. i feel like i could predict the whole plot just from the first episode -- and i might very well be wrong about that, maybe they'll do some interesting trope subversion or something, but the fact that it feels so unremarkable and basic for it's genre is kind of disappointing. i'd heard such great things about it, and though it's probably too early to judge it really hasn't convinced me yet.

And like, general reminder, the problem with women being expected and pressured to date and marry a man isn't only that it's a man; if your solution to amatonormativity and the misogyny that affects heteronormative relationships is just making her a lesbian, you have not actually addressed the problem, and if you assume someone (real or fictional) who isn't interested in romance must be gay and closeted/in denial, you are part of the problem and you are being aphobic. no gray area, that is aphobic and you need to stop.

god that turned into a rant and a half. if you like wednesday, more power to you, genuinely. i am just personally disappointed.

[lizardbytheriver]

"The Goode Family" Observations Part 1

Watching "The Goode Family". The show follows a family that is "Leftwing". Its co-created by the guy who made King of the Hill. Which... yeah... you can definitely tell this is a Conservative writing Liberals/Leftists. I am mostly just trying to see if the main family has an ideology other than a "Conservative's idea of the 'Left'". Their love of both Al Gore and Che Guevara tells me... no. I am pretty sure the father called Meghan McCain the "pretty one" lol lmao lol. That might be the funniest joke in the whole show. A lot of "the liberals are the real racists" vibes from this show. Episode 1, and the mother has nearly said the n-word and called indigenous groups in the rain forest "backwards". By episode 4, the dad does not want hire any Latino Folks to work on his yard (in fear of being racist), so he literally proclaims "it's whites only at the Goode House". Blahh. Episode 3, has the jabs at Affirmative Action and how easy it is for Minorities to get into college... even though Affirmative Action helped a lot of White Women get into college too... And the character having trouble getting into college... is the (white) daughter... The Race stuff ages this the worst. Its not all horrible. But when it misses, its painful. The second episode is a football episode. But they do not address any real reasons why a family might object to their child playing football. Such as the exploitation of Athletes and the health impacts of football (aka the severe concussions). Just very poor analysis. I think my biggest issue with the show is... I do not understand why the mother and father characters are together. Besides political stances, I do not get a sense of chemistry between them. If you are going to make them Hyper-Environmentalist who even forced their dog to go "vegan", why would they be okay with zoos? I do not hate the father character. But he is out-of-touch, its almost like the writers are writing an Alien. He does not understand football, high-fives, or that Al Gore had a staff/employees. He does not even know the name of Jesus Christ. The show has a bizarre relationship with class. The Father works at an university, which feels like that should place them as (at least) middle class. But the other characters state that they are "poor". The daughter looks down on community college, but this is never confronted. The mother is constantly trying to gain admiration from the Upper Class. IDK, it feels like it could have been actually Leftwing if it didn't have such an aversion to Middle Class or Lower Class America. There's an episode where they act like calling a Lesbian "a Lesbian" is the equivalent of saying a slur. lol lmao lol.

[marley-manson]

Finished it and really enjoyed it. Normally I'd roll my eyes at a show with a majority female cast very pointedly in roles/archetypes that usually go to men also being all about misogyny and patriarchy, BUT the show was a) funny and irreverent enough that it wasn't a downer for me the way it usually is, and b) I really enjoyed the gender politics overall.

Like I feel like they did a good job keeping it non-essentialist and focused on social power dynamics (give or take like one detail that mildly annoyed me but is also a minor spoiler so I'll mention it below). Plus it was nuanced enough for me - it wasn't just about misogyny, racism/colonialism and homophobia were major issues as well, and women were also antagonists on those points.

Adored the dynamic between Eddie and Dulcie, it was almost HarryKim-esque lol, and god what a good dynamic for two women. They had great chemistry, sex jokes continued throughout, I adore Eddie's like, entire presence to pieces and even Dulcie was extremely likeable to me, much more than most straitlaced foils to epic energetic weirdos (Kim also being a notable exception lol.)

Also basically every single character on the show was great, from the protags to the antags to everyone in between. Just excellent fun character writing, not a single person on this show who detracted from my enjoyment.

And now a few spoilers, not for the central mystery but for one fairly early plot reveal, a few little details and scenes, and all the lesbian relationship stuff.

Tragically, the wives didn't divorce after all 😭 I absolutely did not buy their reconciliation. Even more tragic, Eddie like, fucking reveals that she's fucked women before and is potentially down to fuck more right after they get back together???? Like wow way to dig in the knife, show.

To be fair since it seems Dulcie and Cath have essentially just swapped which one's gonna be miserable with their lifestyle in season 2, I still have hope that their marriage is gonna end. What I really want is for Dulcie to cheat again - and speaking of holy shit did I love the reveal that she cheated with her last partner and quit her last job to appease Cath. And she clearly still has a crush on that woman as well, as seen when speaking to her on the phone?

Like I cannot emphasize enough how doomed this marriage is, I just hope the show knows it. Especially since I checked ao3 and there's only 3 pages of fic, and most of it is poly which I am not about. On the plus side the majority is actually explicit, which is wild for an f/f fandom, fucking nice.

Anyway despite hating their relationship I do like Cath as a character lol, she's shitty which is a good thing for endearing her to me, and also really funny, and I think she should have a gf who like, has similar interests and also wants to live on a farm and raise animals for a living, while Dulcie plows Eddie into next week in the big city.

The one detail that jumped out to me as irritatingly gender essentialist, btw, and this is the minor early spoiler, is the recurring discussion of male vs female serial killers and how they used that to help solve the case. Like to be fair even that seemed largely grounded in social dynamics, but like the poison thing??? Can a man not drug murder victims just to make things easier for him? Does it have to be a girl thing? Come on. I will say though that they at least made a joke about those male vs female profiles being outdated, even if they're still annoyingly relevant. So yk, some self awareness is shown. (this is not a spoiler, they go back and forth several times wrt the killer's gender but the drugging is always framed as a girl killer thing regardless of their current theory)

Also since I've spoiled that it's about a serial killer, I want to add that I loooooved the narrative's attitude towards a spree of murders with cis white male victims. It felt like an ideal balance of like, rote condemnation (yeah murder is bad, the protags are dedicated to finding the murderer even if it turns out to be a man-hating lesbian, it makes things worse for everyone in the town, the whole final episode, etc) while also indulging in the visceral satisfaction of men being the victims instead of women. The irreverence towards the victims, the scene where the mayor loses her filter in a panic and is like, 'hey maybe this town is actually the safest place for everyone who isn't a white cis dude, ever think of that?' lmao, or even just the scene in the first episode where Dulcie mentions finding a naked body over the phone to her superior and he automatically assumes the victim is a woman and has to be corrected.

The reactionary, perfectly pathetic response from the conservative men of the town was also pitch perfect. The fucking reclaim the night march lmao? There's such an air of awareness that their demographic being specifically targeted by a serial killer is a major anomaly and their reaction is disproportionate and silly, and basically just an excuse to try to reclaim power in the town. Felt very of the moment.

There are definitely a few nitpicks to be made about the politics, especially wrt some of the cop show elements but like, it is a cop show, you set your expectations accordingly. Point is I had a good time with what it had to say and how entertainingly it said it.

So yeah, basically loved the show, hope season 2 is good too and if Dulcie and Cath don't break up, they at least keep teasing Dulcie/Eddie and making graphic gay sex jokes about them.

decided to watch Deadloch on a whim after seeing like 2 gifsets of Eddie looking like a fun character, knowing absolutely nothing about the show, and was instantly rewarded with surprise lesbian sex 👍

(Between the main character and her wife, not the buddy cops, buuuut they're having marriage issues and there's fun chemistry and many sex jokes between her and Eddie so the vibes are excellent and i'm having a great time so far)