#(this will have secret love child trope btw)

[superloves4]

I still taste the past - Chapter 1

Relationships: Curufin/Finrod, Celegorm/Aredhel (background) Summary: Finrod wanted to see Curufin, get his closure after all they had gone through, end things once and for all. What he gets is a journey through the memory of where they've been and the choice of where they will go. TW: none for this chapter A/N: This is connected to "We can always begin again" but it should be able to be read on it's own besides very occasional chapter.

Also on AO3

Finrod took a deep breath. And then another. And then he left.

Perhaps Curufin had been right, his plans were terrible. He tried to walk through his past actions and nothing made sense but that had always been his cycle, no? He was the one burned every time. So he left.

Finrod groaned, it had all started three days ago when he'd found the letter, Mando's letters were not what he had expected the first time he saw them when Angrod was re-embodied, they were sky blue and written in neat blue ink, it was almost too simple, but there it had been, now with the names, Celegorm and Curufin, written on it.

His heart sank.

"Oh, Findaràto, I..." his father had arrived and seen him just staring at the letter.

"You had not planned on telling me". Was his statement, the re-embodiment had been scheduled for the week before, it was rather clear his father was keeping secret. He couldn't blame him, in his place he would have done the same.

"I'm sorry," his father had answered bashful "Your mother and I, we thought it best," then his father's hands were on his shoulders, looking him in the eyes and very seriously said to him "But you have nothing to worry about, we already made all the arrangements, they are strictly forbidden from entering the palace, they shall not disturb you further."

Finrod had no idea of where he'd managed to pull a smile from, but he did, and it must have been convincing enough, seeing as his father visibly relaxed "It was very thoughtful, thank you father."

He had gently placed the letter back on his father's desk and after a brief conversation he had not paid attention to, he left the office that used to belong to his grandfather. Murder in his eyes.

Edrahil must have noticed as he, very resigned, simply said "It won't end well." Alas he'd caved in and delivered him the location of Curufin's new house. He had left the palace soon after, riding for a whole day. Only to stay in the nearby inn, instead.

It had taken him another day to gather the courage to approach the simple house, identical to all houses made for the newly arrived or freshly re-embodied, with it's white walls and delicate window frames it didn't fit Curufin. It didn't even have a forge, he imagined the other must have been going stir crazy in there. He returned to the inn.

Finrod sighed, he had never been so weak, even with his past with Curufin, things had never been so bad before.

He pushed his hood over his hair, not wanting the attention when entering the inn, he asked for a drink and sat at the same booth he'd sat the day before, hoping he'd have better luck the next day.

"Yeah, I saw him, the gull of some!"

Finrod had not meant to eavesdrop but he was forcibly included in the conversation.

"I heard that prince Findaràto has forbidden his presence in the palace. It's rather frustrating they are just thrusting the Fëanorion at us instead."

So was that what they were saying in the streets, huh.

"Can hardly blame them, can you? You heard the returned exiles, he betrayed them, he let our prince die."

Finrod was convinced Curufin would have liked to disagree on that point. He could almost picture his angry face as he proceeded to verbally eviscerate the other person, arguing for his defense. He groaned, eliminating the image from his mind.

"Doesn't mean I now have to buy vegetables with a kinslayer."

He sighed, it was not a good idea to leave Curufin there, he had done much wrong and there was much they still had to talk but he'd rather the other didn't get hurt, no matter how well intended the perpetrator might be.

He made to leave, to pay for the same room and once more spend his time thinking what he'd do when he saw Curufin again, when he felt someone pull on his wrist.

"Hey, mate, you dropped-"

His hood had fallen from his face, his long blond hair unmistakable, he hadn't even dropped anything but the confusion between him and the other elf's companion had now led to the whole inn discovering him. The room was filled with looks of admiration and interest, most had never met him outside of official functions, he knew they were curious but he had nothing to give them.

"My prince! What brings you here? Anything I may do?" the owner of the inn asked, the owner's daughter was quickly adjusting herself behind him, Finrod was exhausted now.

"Just a room for the night will do," he smiled courteously, he didn't want to be rude but that was not a good day for him.

The daughter rapidly chimed in "Is it true that you have ended your betrothal to lady Amarië?"

Finrod's smile twitched "It has been true since my re-embodiment," and while the owner chided his daughter, he made to leave.

"Are you here to get rid of the Fëanorion, prince Findaràto?"

Finrod froze, it was the same elf from before, looking hopeful at him.

"Has my cousin hurt anyone?"

The other patrons looked around in embarrassment when all the elf could answer 

"Well, no."

"Has he offended anyone?"

Finrod could see many of the patrons were looking away and buried in their cups or food instead of continuing to stare at them, the elf answered "No, he doesn't talk to anyone."

"Then I do not know what you'd have me do," Finrod answered, maybe in the morning he'd have a better answer, these people were merely scared, it was not right to take his frustration on them.

"You can't possibly forgive him." The elf said then.

Finrod spared him one last look and a sigh before turning around "This is Aman, everyone can earn their forgiveness."

He left at dawn, better to avoid anyone who might want to ask for him to deal out punishments. Why couldn't Curufin have gone to Formenos? From what he'd heard the Ambarussa and Caranthir were doing perfectly fine in the Fëanorian districts. And if they weren't alone perhaps he might fear their encounter less.

They could be just two cousins again. But that would never be true, wouldn't so? He was back again, staring at that unremarkable white door, when his father had approved of that design it had been with the intent of letting the future owner choose how to decorate however they wished, now it seemed to be a mockery of their past. 

He should just go home at this point.

"You should."

Finrod jumped, he kept staring so long he never considered that Curufin might've not been inside. Or that he'd spoken out loud.

Curufin sighed and Finrod wanted to punch him, what right did he have to feel bothered "Felagund, you are blocking my door."

"We need to talk Curufin."

He turned around just in time to see the other roll his eyes, Finrod wanted to scream but Curufin simply avoided him, taking his keys for that awful door.

"Is that all you'll do now? Ignore me? Haven't you done enough, Atarinkë!"

Curufin gave him a brief look before opening the door. "I rather thought you were the one who didn't want to talk, I wish I had been right, it was much nicer when it was quiet," he shrugged, might've closed the door if Finrod hadn't been faster, blocking the door again.

"I was not told of your return," Finrod admitted, looking into Curufin's gray eyes "Not the first time someone I cared about did so."

Curufin sighed again but let go of the door, resigning himself to whatever Finrod decided to do, stay or leave, he was past caring.

"We already had this conversation, we've already threaded this path, move on Findaràto, it would be best for the both of us," he said, falling into the unremarkable couch, also made for the owner to personalize, Finrod could now see that nothing in there looked like Curufin. An unremarkable house.

"Is that what you want?" he asked, making his way inside "To close yourself any time I want one sincere conversation, one modicum of consideration, I thought the halls helped people!"

"They do," Curufin looked at him, he was pallid and seemed far more tired than the last memory Finrod had of him "I want to move on, Ingoldo."

That killed Finrod's next reply.

"You," Finrod laughed bitterly "You want to move on? You ruined my life, Curufin, and now you want to move on?" He pushed his hair from his eyes "Every time, it's always the same with you! You are a coward, Atarinkë! A thrice cursed coward! You don't have even the decency to look at me and say sorry!"

Curufin got up like stones were trying to drag him back down and said "I'm sorry."

Finrod stared at him, brows furrowed, his breath still heavy from his previous anger, just confused. Curufin look at him as if to say 'Happy now?' but he didn't know how to react.

"It's over, Ingoldo, this is all I can offer," Curufin told him, not an ounce of scorn in his voice "We played our parts, go back to your bride now. I'm going to move on now."

That was it, that was all the closure he was going to receive, all those years and this was what Curufin was willing to leave him at the end. Anger making way for grief. It shouldn't have ended like this.

"I," he tried to say but nothing came out, Curufin gave him a last look and Finrod had to wonder if that was truly the last he'd have of him "You should leave this area, they could come after you."

Curufin smiled, if he knew him less he'd say it was a happy one.

"I'll be alright, they are all afraid of me."

[hollythius]

IT’S A SYMBOL OF OUR FRIENDSHIP! | secret relationship headcannons

featuring | alhaitam, kaveh, tighnari, childe

prompt | as secret lovers, your favorite pastime is buying incognito matching items for you and your partner. but after so many grandiose, lovingly picked items start to alert your friends— well, what do you say?

tldr | i love secret relationship tropes 🫶 especially when it’s by choice and not necessity. reader is gn, i tried to be funny (it didn’t work), help i cant write any of these characters, uhh enjoy!! reblogs help btw! this got way off topic, uhhhh i’m having fun with these hehe

ALHAITAM — matching rings

the great sage was rarely fond of people, and even rarer was when he purposefully went out of his way to do something for another person. thus, after you had gotten over the initial shock of his confession— wham! he had pulled you aside to hand you a box that held matching rings. you almost fainted, the insanity of your precious haitham not understanding the implications of such jewelry threw you for a loop. however, you accepted it as a sort of promise ring, the silver band wrapped with green, vine-like markings. kaveh was the first to notice. “what’s that you’ve got there?” he smirked. his pointer finger directed at alhaitam’s middle finger where the ring rested. “oh, and what’s this? y/n has one too? oh my!” and alhaitam, sweet, red faced alhaitam, simply said, “it’s a gesture of our friendship!” you shook your head, smiling. kaveh laughed. you knew he was starting to suspect you anyway.

KAVEH — matching earrings

having your boyfriend’s roommate intrude on the two of you was rare, but that didn’t mean it didn’t happen. you were beginning to think it was on purpose— alhaitam was smart, and it wouldn’t take a genius to realize your relationship. (especially with how affectionate kaveh was sometimes) “y/n, help me put them in,” kaveh whines. “hold on, kaveh. here,” you finished putting your own earrings in, before coming over to kaveh. you press a kiss to his temple, which leads to him kissing your wrist— soon the earrings are left forgotten on the vanity and your collective priority is to kiss each other to death. these ministrations hold your attention so tightly that you don’t hear the knock at the door. or the ‘i’m coming in’ from alhaitham. well, he was bound to find out one way or another.

TIGHNARI — matching bracelets

tighnari’s tongue stuck out a little when he was focused— a cute habit of his that you had yet to comment on. now, he was focused on latching a clasp on a bracelet he had bought you. on his wrist was a matching one: gold and green with incredible luster. he was struggling. “need help, nari?” you ask, giggling. “no. m’fine.” he was certainly not fine, with how long it was taking him. “you’re so cute,” you say softly, tighnari looking up at you annoyed. “and?” you laugh again, the clasp on your bracelet still not closed. you kiss the top of his head, chuckling. “i think you need some help, hon.”

CHILDE — matching scarves

the chilly weather of snezhnaya warranted thick coats, long bottoms, and heavy boots. hats or earmuffs were common, but scarves were practically a staple fashion item. they could be worn multiple ways, styled impeccably, and still keep you warm. so when childe gifted you a red scarf that perfectly matched his own, you melted. “is this for me?” you whispered, childe chuckling at the awe in your tone. “uh-huh. look, it matches mine! and red’s a common color here, so it doesn’t look suspicious,” he said. but the real test would be when he was out in public. the red on his face could easily be explained away as from the cold, but you knew that the rosy tint was him blushing. you buried your face in your own scarf, embarrassed. childe just thought it made you look cuter.

[guest-1-2-3]

idk how old that post was but u mentioned u had more zukka recs? modern au and such. would love to read those if you'd like to share, thnak you for that rec post btw it's great

omg anon i’m so sorry it’s definitely been months i just found this posts in my drafts and i think i was planning on adding more to the list but idk anymore !! hope ur still around i have some more for fics for you here you go lol 😭

Absolutely! Here are some modern aus that I enjoyed :)

streetlights, sidewalks, and other complicated things by lesbianspikespiegel, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Rated T, 6k: "Sokka has been standing under the same streetlight at ten-thirty p.m. every other night for the past month. It’s nice, it’s quiet, it gets him out of the house, and it’s all to himself. That is until Zuko starts showing up, too." (I couldn't figure out a good way to describe this one so I put in the summary. It's cute, and while it does reference child abuse, I'd say it's pretty light overall. Quick and nice read!)

There Are Dragons in the Sky by ava_14_rose_9, Panic Attacks, Childhood Trauma, Child Abuse, Rated T, 39k: Eliza and Her Monsters au where Zuko is the anonymous author of a webcomic and has to navigate relationships with his new friend group who happen to be fans of said webcomic. He's also dealing with moving to another country, mental health, and family stuff. This fic had a very compelling plot and I really liked how the author wrote the different characters, their relationships, and conflict. Zuko-centric fic for the most part, but the main ship is Zukka :)

Here It Goes Again by firb (f_ing_ruthless_baz), Implied Sexual Content, Drinking, Mentions of Death, Rated M, 24k: Plant shop and tea shop au but also soulmates! A very nice au with getting together, some angst, some fluff, some miscommunication. I found it a nice read :)

and i'll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) by nebulastucky, Non-Graphic Smut, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Rated M, 88k: Basically fuckbuddies to lovers Zukka with some miscommunication and angst but also a lot of humor and fluff imo. Sokka-centric. I really liked the character writing in this one! Also Sokka and Suki being roommates and exes to best friends is forever one of my favorite tropes lol

The Fine Art of Swordbending by mindbending, canon-typical abuse, Rated T, 20k: mindbending at it again writing all my favorite atla fics smh. Olympics au! This one had some secret identity moments which really satisfied the old ml fan in me lol. There's definitely angst but it really is hurt/comfort getting together. It's not too heavy, but you know. It's Zuko. Sokka-centric!

[abiiors]

request time 👀

george teaching reader how to smoke a joint for the first time, at the same time she’s matty’s little sister so is a secret relationship. I love a bit of drama

first time

some amazing blogs on here, @ughgoaway and @shinycollarboneapologist have already done the brother's best friend trope so i really urge you to go check out their fics as well. in the meantime... have fun 🤭💕

warning: weed obv and that's it i guess.

oh, btw... this is who you are thinking about. this is who this fic is about <33 (both gifs by @pleasedontbenaked i genuinely fucking hope the credit thing works 😭)

“andrew? really?” george stands at the bottom of the stairs looking down at her, one perfect eyebrow raised high. “you went to that twat for weed?”

oh. 

her eyes widen at the mention of the w word. george is a fucking idiot—she knew that obviously, all her brother’s friends are idiots—but she didn’t know he would be stupid enough to just blurt it out in the house with her parents within earshot. 

involuntarily she moves, slapping her hand on his mouth and harshly tugging on his wrist. “shut up! not here!”

george does nothing but raise the other eyebrow while slowly lowering his gaze to her hand. it’s on his mouth. touching his lips. mortifyingly enough, she comes to that realisation a second after he does and yanks her hand away as if he’s burned it. 

george smirks. because what else do insufferable 20 year old boys do? but he lets her tug him to her bedroom and slam the door shut. 

“yes. andrew.” she glares at him once she’s sure there’s no one eavesdropping. “are you gonna tell matty?”

because he would tell her brother as if she were a child. she’s 18, has been an adult for 2 months now but of course, to george (and ross and adam) she will always be their best friend’s little sister. the thought stings a bit when she looks up at george who’s cavalierly leaning against her door. 

his arms are crossed in front of his chest, biceps and colourful tattoos on full display because of the tank top he’s wearing. she would never admit to this out loud, but she has certainly looked at the tattoos (and the arms) on more than one more occasion. 

still the fact remains. george is insufferable��just like his little all-knowing smirk. 

“now why would i snitch?” he drawls out and then pushes himself off the door. something has piqued his interest. “what do you want it for?”

she can’t help the snark and sass that rises up within her at that. “for a science experiment. what do you think i want it for?”

george rolls his eyes. “okay, smartarse. maybe i should go tell—”

she tugs on his arm a second time to stop him, effectively stopping him mid-sentence. like an idiot, she’s taken the bait. 

george laughs when she groans into her hands. it’s a deep and rich sound; one that skitters down her spine… no! stop. focus. 

“if you simply must know…” she glares, “my friends and i are trying it for the first time. at a sleepover. they asked if i could get some since, you know, matty’s practically a stoner at this point. but he’s also a little shit.” then she raises her chin primly, “i would never buy from him.”

“and so you went to andrew…” 

“and so i went to andrew.”

george snickers. “you know he keeps his little baggies in his pants, right? like literally in his pants?”

she, in fact, did not know that. and judging by some more snickering, she can tell her face has turned a nasty shade of green. brief as it may have been, she absolutely did touch the little baggie andrew had discretely shoved into her hands. and now she needs to immediately dunk herself into a vat of sanitizer. 

george seems to have taken pity on her, though, because his features soften and the smirk turns into a small smile. 

“so you’re all planning to get high together for the first time?”

is this an attempt at small talk? why would he even try? still, if he’s trying to be civil, she can respond in kind. 

“...yes. for the first time.”

“do you even know what to expect?”

that makes her roll her eyes. it might be her first time, sure, but she’s not fully oblivious. “i have seen all of you blitzed out of your mind, george. i think i know what to expect.”

“so you don’t actually know what you’re doing.”

she's about to protest but he's already on the move. she watches with her mouth agape as george saunters towards her bed, examining all her little trinkets on the way. he runs his hands on the books on her bedside table, on the cds she neatly keeps on her shelves. there are posters on her walls—bowie, queen, the rolling stones, among others. then there are photos with her friends and her parents, another one where matty is 15 and she’s 12, in pigtails and grinning at the camera while matty does his edgy, angsty teenager grimace. 

there’s also a polaroid she took of the band rehearsing. matty looks like he’s in the middle of tuning his guitar. adam is looking off-camera and ross is texting on his phone. but george…george is sitting against the wall. arms behind his head and drumsticks still in his hands. his jaw is slightly tilted up, jawline sharp enough to cut. he looks like he’s trying to figure something out while the rest of them goof around. 

she remembers that day so clearly; remembers how excited matty was to show her a song they’d been working on. she remembers george smiling at her when she complimented the song. 

george throws himself onto her bed, yanking her out of her thoughts. 

“sit,” he motions at a spot next to him as if this weren’t her room and her bed. 

“what…”

“i said, sit,” he repeats, “i’m not going to let you walk into the unknown with your idiot friends.”

several questions rise up, along with indignation at him for calling her friends idiots. she’s about to ask them all in one breath but he shuts her up with one look and takes his wallet out. 

oh no… oh no no no. 

“absolutely fucking not!” it almost comes out as a shout but she manages to turn it into a whisper at the last minute. “are you insane, george? my brother is literally in his bedroom!”

“relax, darling,” he drawls out as if none of this is concerning to him. and continues taking out a bit of rolling paper and a baggie of weed from his wallet. “your brother thinks i’ve gone home.” 

this is somehow even more concerning information. what happens when matty hears them and barges into her room to check—it’s not like he knows the concept of knocking anyway. 

also he’s just called her darling…

“but—”

“you’re overthinking,” he interrupts. “focus now. i’m teaching you how to roll a joint.”

times like these, she wishes she could simply whack him on the head, preferably with one of her hardcovers. but the rolling paper in front of her is intriguing, to say the least. and as much as she wants to be annoyed, she knows she can at least trust him to guide her through her first time. 

“if you get me in trouble, george, i swear…”

“i won’t,” he places a hand on his chest and looks at her intently, “i promise.”

gingerly, tentatively, she sits in front of him; legs crossed and eyes firmly on the things in front of her. 

“now this is what you want to do…” he picks up the paper and curves it slightly between his fingers. his forehead is creased in concentration, lips parted slightly while he continues to talk about the joint. her focus, however, has already wandered. 

his fingers are deftly working away—adding in a good amount of weed and putting the tip in. her eyes wander over his hands—knuckles in the process of healing still like they always are. she used to think he got into a lot of fights until she found out that they were a result of the drumming. and then she couldn’t stop thinking about him, sweaty and tank top clinging to him…maybe even shirtless…as he worked on the latest song. 

god she was a fucking cliche for thinking about her brother’s best friend like this. utterly basic and unoriginal. 

george snaps his fingers in front of her face. 

“where d’you wander off to?”

“um–ah…what? sorry,” she mumbles quickly and averts her gaze to where he’s half-sprawled on her bed. long, graceful limbs and all. 

“focus, darling,” he chastises in a stern voice and the neurons in her brain instantly misfire. “now look.”

he picks up the paper with the weed in it and expertly rolls it while leaving some space at the end, twists the top and then as if it’s nothing, he licks the end—slow and deliberate and keeping his eyes on her—before finally sticking it shut. 

if the neurons had misfired before, they have completely shut down now. she doesn’t even register it when she swallows roughly, eyes wide and trained on his mouth which slowly curls into a smirk once again. 

“like what you see?” he asks and then cheekily adds, “the joint, i mean. it’s pretty perfect, isn’t it?”

“mm-hmm”

“should we smoke it?” 

“uhh…” her voice is barely even a whisper, thoughts hardly coherent. he wants to smoke it with her? “now?”

“no time like the present.” then he sits up properly. “wait, have you at least smoked a fag before?”

she nods mutely and clears her throat, “once.”

“ooohhh. thought you were a good girl, healy…”

she blushes deeply then; absolutely unable to meet his eyes after that. heat spreads over her face and fuck it...but there’s no coming back from this now. god, he’s going to know about her embarrassing teenage crush and he’s going to tell matty about it and matty will not let her live it down. 

she almost wants to cry out but he’s not done torturing her. because a second later he takes his lighter out and holds it under the joint. 

“want to shotgun first?”

“um…uh…”

speak, you fucking idiot, her brain screams at her but unfortunately, it does not seem connected to her mouth at the moment. he’s going to know that she’s short-circuiting. he’s going to know how flustered he makes her. 

fuck fuck fuck 

“unless you don’t want—”

“yes,” she interrupts quickly. because the thought of not doing it is so much worse than shotgunning george. 

“come closer, then. and open your mouth.”

he curves his palm around the flame to stop it from going out; joint resting lazily between his lips before he hollows his cheeks and takes a drag of it. the smoke rests in his mouth for a second or two before he leans forward; almost as if he’s about to kiss her. 

the blood in her veins flows at the speed of light, her heart is thumping so fast that it’s a surprise he hasn’t heard it yet. he’s so close… he’s never been this close before. she’s never seen the exact colour of his eyes this clearly before or felt his hair tickle her face. 

then he parts his lips and blows out the smoke in her mouth. a long exhale and a sharp intake of breath from her. his gaze dips to her lips before returning to her eyes. she imagines she’s done the same because a moment later his eyes are back on her mouth. 

the smoke spreads through her body, warm and earthy, and slowly makes its way to her head. there’s a brief flash of panic and hesitation but she pushes it away. 

then she leans closer.  

----

(yes i'm ending it there for evil reasons)

[harocat]

As a huge love between fairy and devil lover whose favorite couple of all time is XLH and DFQC (love you header btw) I want to watch eastern fantasy what can you tell me about it? All I know is she goes into a game or something? How's the otp? I know nothing can be as good as those two but is it at least the same trope of how much they both adored each other and were willing to sacrifice for each other?

YES you should definitely watch it!

So Ling Miaomiao is a modern woman and the fan of a famous novelist, who just released his newest work, Catching Demons. She speed reads it (she's even listening to the audio of it while in a meeting at work yes queen), and realizes she... hates it. Completely despises it even though she really loves this author's work most of the time. Naturally she gets online to complain about it, and as she's doing so, she gets sucked into the world of the novel where she's in the body of the second female lead, the cruel, sinister, and doomed to die Lin Yu. 'The system' (a nebulous mysterious force that brought her in) gives her two tasks:

Survive the novel to the end

Make the second male lead, Mu Sheng, fall in love with her.

Mu Sheng is the second male lead in the novel, and not only does he end up as an antagonist, but he's literally the one who kills Lin Yu. So it seems an impossible task.

Of course though, it turns out Mu Sheng is rough with a gooey center; a true tsundere. He's love starved and lonely. He has a huge secret that he has to hide from everyone around him, including his beloved sister. It doesn't take much, just a lot of being herself, for him to start falling for Ling Miaomiao.

The game mechanics are the way 'the system' presents the story, so LMM has to try and get Mu Sheng to an 100% approval rating toward her, sort of like an otome game. There's lots of cute little jokes playing on this story mechanic (LMM commenting on 'how good the special effects are', using modern terminology and confusing people).

The rest of the plot is fun too! It indeed involves a lot of 'catching demons', as well as an overarching storyline about a powerful demon who 'cracked the sky' nine hundred years ago and is returning to try and end the world again. The costumes are wonderful, the effects are solid, and the acting is strong. There are lots of found family vibes among the main group and a child character who is not annoying.

Comparing it to LBFAD, LBFAD is more interested in diving deep into the characters and giving them pretty drastic development arcs. You are not going to get quite the character depth DFQC and XLH had, nor really, the relationship depth. And that's okay. LGIEF moves pretty briskly, and it is just a little lighter on the whole (though I know it will still break my heart like LBFAD did). It probably won't totally change your life and rewrite your brain chemistry like I'm sure LBFAD did, but you will have SO MUCH fun and the ship is super lovable and has eaten my brain.

Esther Yu and Ding Yuxi have GREAT chemistry. Esther is absolutely adorable at all times; funny and charming and looking the prettiest she's ever looked in one of the best Cdrama wardrobes ever. Ding Yuxi has puppy dog eyes on LOCK. He's brusque and sad and angry, but he is marshmallow sweet and so earnest as he experiences his first love. They are SO soft, and absolutely, they'd die for each other. So yes, WATCH IT.

[xoxochb]

heyyyy prue! how are you??? I don't want to rush you I just wanted to change my request a bit because it was quite disgusting...maybe giorgie can see them kissing and ask for explanations, ah btw my trope was lityersesxfem!readers who keep their relationship a secret

you're an angel for putting up with me 🩵🩵🩵

psyche🩵

⋆·˚ ༘ * they don’t know how you’ve haunted me so stunningly

warnings: none

pairing: lityerses x fem reader

one kiss, a second, a third, a fourth, a fifth, it goes on

this is the best part of being home alone- well almost alone. you would’ve been if you weren’t left to babysit georgina, who currently plays in her room

and unfortunate for you, you didn’t realize she left her room until you heard the creaking of the floorboards

you pull away quickly, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear to seem more ‘presentable’

“hey georgina, what’s up?”

she stands confused, or perhaps scared “why were you guys kissing?”

holy gods of olympus you’re about to have a heart attack. you turn to lit who refuses eye contact, instead stares at the very intriguing floorboards

“georgina” you take both her smaller hands on yours “can you do something for me?”

she nods

“don’t tell anyone about this. please?”

“why not?” she asks

“because…” you search your mind for the right response “we’re keeping it a secret”

“why?”

she’s so innocent you could cry

“we just don’t want anyone knowing about it” is what you decided on saying

“do you love each other?”

“yes”

oh so now he decides to say something. you roll your eyes at this

“my moms say you shouldn’t be embarrassed about loving someone”

what a wise child

you say silent. what are you supposed to say to that?

“I won’t tell” she continues “but if you love each other then you shouldn’t be scared”

what kind of water has this child been drinking?

for the rest of the day you think of her words. maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to tell everyone…

[celestiarambles]

in a writer’s perspective, here’s a whole ass infodump on how complex angela’s character really is

so while i’m happy people are finally seeing the nuance in angela’s motives and actions, she still did bad things. she still shared intel and government secrets to a criminal organization. she still engaged with corruption wherein she manipulated and helped lavinia to smuggle her own diamonds for sombra and kill a rally driver. and while lavinia was a shitty person, she still killed lavinia not because she was a shitty person, but because she was trying to protect her identity as the mole.

but here’s where my writer’s perspective kicks in: usually, most stereotypes of corrupt government officials (yes, angela’s still a corrupt government official) portray them as a power and money hungry heartless sociopath who does not love anyone. and as much as that trope is fun to see and hate, it’s still a very diegetic trope. (most writers i know in the philippines is tired of that trope ahshahaha)

for those unaware of the term diegetic btw, it’s basically “telling” in show and tell. if your writing is diegetic, it means you’re basically dictating your audience how to feel for a character, which is frowned upon. non-diegetic writing however, is subtle. the writing isn’t there to reprimand you, it’s nuanced and makes you think. and that thinking will make you feel and empathize with the character.

that’s what makes angela such a complex character; she basically defies that trope and is the definition of the word non-diegetic. while she is still corrupt, she didn’t do it for power or for money. she did it because she had no choice. and she had to protect her family.

stereotypical corrupt government officials have everything handed out to them in exchange for protecting their “dynasty”. while angela’s sombra, everything she has done in the field of science is still self-made. most of the bureau admires her for her wit and tenacity, and hell she won a whole ass nobel prize, which is something that’s hard for her to achieve as a woc. she even found a cure to an epidemic in WEEKS TOPS and started a whole charity for orphans and adopted children with lars because she herself was an orphan and she felt guilty about being a part of sombra. she does ALL of this with genuine intentions and not out of obligation to sombra.

if stereotypical corrupt government officials have children, they either pressure them to follow in their footsteps or neglect them completely. angela isn’t like that. she is GENUINELY happy to have her daughters to the point that she was smiling and telling lars how happy she is to have children with him even if she literally just gave birth to TRIPLETS. (if giving birth to one child is painful enough imagine giving birth to three)

and while she jokes around with lars that they’d definitely follow in their footsteps, they still encourage their daughters to be curious and explore various possibilities in the world. she constantly worries about them, and the triplets and lars are the reason why she decides to be loyal to sombra. because if she ever betrays them, sombra would target them first. and she didn’t want that.

with this, what makes angela such a complex character is she constantly puts up three facades around people: a professional, intelligent coworker to the bureau, a loving and loyal wife and mother to her family, and a cold, manipulative pawn to sombra and their schemes. when she got exposed and arrested, she didn’t know which front to put up anymore, which adds SO MUCH to her very non-diegetic dialogue in in plain sight.

she tells the bureau she did all of this because she was loyal to sombra and she believed they’d give her daughters a better world because she knows her coworkers know her as someone who thinks rationally, and at the same time she knows sombra is everywhere so she said that to appease sombra’s perception of her. when she talks to lars post-arrest, she still stands firm about her loyalty with sombra, but she breaks when lars assumes she didn’t love him and confesses all the sacrifices she made just for them to be together.

and then there’s the whole cultural phenomenon of asian people being extremely loyal to their family to the point that they feel that they are “in debt” to their family because they raised them. that’s what angela was trying to say when she says that she had to be loyal to sombra. not because she wanted to, but because she was culturally and morally obligated too.

i’m not going to talk about the darkest hour because they ruined angela in that case hasjaj (they were cooking but then they burnt it /j)

but tldr, angela being the mole would’ve been so good if there was proper foreshadowing and they didn’t ruin her character in the end, but i genuinely love how angela’s character breaks stereotypes and is very non-diegetic about her motives

if you reached the end thank you and sorry HAHSHAHAHAHA

[munsonthings86]

Hiii!! Saw your reqs are open so I’m shooting my shot here hehe.

I was wondering if you could write something inspired by a Gareth x male! Munson! Reader?? (Totally get if you don’t do male reader stuff or don’t write for gareth since he’s a minor character btw!! Just delete this if not! No hard feelings!)

Just hear me out here,, a best friends brother trope 🙇🏻🙇🏻

Reader is Eddie’s younger brother and is secretly dating Gareth, readers a little more introverted/ sensitive than him too. And somehow the relationship gets exposed and Eddie throws a classic fit “are you making out ?? With my sweet baby (legit like only one ore two years younger lol) brother?? GASP!!” Meanwhile reader is absolutely MORTIFIED lmao like a total classic cliche romcom situation hihi

Many kisses and hugs from your lovely anon

how did you know i couldn't resist a good brother's best friend trope? :/ i wrote this especially for you, my lovely! i hope you enjoy.

side note: i aged up the reader and gareth, so they are of age and college students here!

pairing: gareth emerson x munson!reader

wc: 0.6k

the air was thick and warm in the tight space of your uncle's trailer. in the even tighter space between you and gareth, a thin layer of sweat formed. the searing sun shot a stinging beam of light through the small window of the living room onto your exposed legs, and you dread the impending awkward tan line.

"c'mon, we gotta make this quick," you were breathless when you spoke as gareth peppered hot kisses along your jaw and neck. "i know," one kiss. "i just," two kisses. "missed you a lot." three kisses that led a trail down to your chest.

it'd been four incessant months since the last time you had seen your boyfriend, seeing as you each went to different colleges. you swore that you would've burst if you had to go another second without him, and the boy desperately pecking at every possible inch of your body, could clearly relate.

"besides, what's the rush?" his nosy hands found their way under your shirt, grazing the soft skin of your stomach.

"eddie is 'what's the rush’," a gasp fell from your lips when gareth gently pulled at your neck with his teeth. "he'll be back any minute now."

it was almost too easy hiding your relationship with gareth from your older brother while you were away at college, but now that it was summer break and the only place you wanted to be was under your boyfriend, it seemed like a mission impossible to have your lover remain a secret.

gareth found it so adorable when you worried like this. you were a lot like your uncle who spent the better part of his life raising you along with eddie. you were quiet like a mouse, always to yourself, and tended to relish in the comfort of your brother's shadow. a lot of people didn't notice you, but gareth did. and he fell for you, instantly. "you're so cute," he pressed further into you, as your back fell against the couch.

"seriously, he's really overprotective. my uncle's gonna have to start arranging my funeral if eddie catches us like this."

you jolted when the sound of the metal door slamming against the wall pierced through the room. in the frame was your older brother, completely frozen with his face kneaded into a tight dough of shock and utter disbelief. gareth was still clinging onto you, lips pursed, wet, and puffy as he eyed eddie.

"what the hell is going on in here?" the grocery bags he held in hands ruffled loudly as he flailed his arms while he spoke. he stepped further into the trailer, too wildered to even close the door behind him.

"we were just- i was just- kissing," gareth's words tripped over themselves as they clumsily spilled out.

"kissing WHO? this infant? this child that i helped raise? this sweet, innocent baby that doesn't need your little gareth germs all over?" poor eddie didn’t seem to be aware that you were 19, and merely only a year younger than him.

his voice was high and frantic, which though wasn't uncommon, but it certainly was not the voice you'd hoped he'd have when he found out your little secret.

"when the hell did you even get in here? i was only gone for ten minutes!"

your face fell into the palms of your sweaty hands, eyes peering at the mortifying situation between parted fingers. you knew he wasn't truly angry, or else gareth would've been thrown out of the door ages ago, but your stomach still felt twisted and uneasy. your words were muffled when you muttered, "eddie," but the boy only let you get so much out.

"you," he pointed, "don't you say a word. when i get back from putting these bags away, we're gonna have a long talk about why it's bad to lie to your big brother." he walked off with a pout, chunky boots making thunderous sounds against the wooden floor as he retreated to the kitchen.

a silence fell over the stillness of the living room.

"could've been a lot worse," gareth shrugged.

💌 1 new message from jojo: my inbox is open!

[hyperactivewhore]

what’s the most unhinged things that’s happened in your dr?

Shifting content 😻

Well, I haven't shifted yet (tho I'm definitely going to) because the only attempt I do at it is go to sleep and hope to wake up in my dr lmao. Which can work btw, but you gotta set the intention to and I don't even do that.

But I'm still gonna take the opportunity to talk about my drs (they're so good even if they're Wattpad coded, I promise 😭) because I love them and I need to get out of this shitty reality as soon as I can.

My main reality (not the one I'm shifting tho rn) is a tvd one, where I'll permashift and I'm basically the daughter of Hecate in that dr aka the reason to make myself as overpowered as possible (yes I made myself more powerful than Hope deal with it, I'm literally a goddess in that reality). Given that is the dr where I'll stay forever, it's the last one I'll shift to. But my s/o is Klaus and I'm having his tribrid child because no child of mine is being born on this rat hole and I literally love Hope. But it's so cool, I created a new family so I don't have to be part of the main families of tvdu and I basically script those siblings in almost every reality.

Btw, if someone shifts to tvd as well, please script Damon doesn't rape Caroline/Andy and that Katherine doesn't rape Stefan either. And script out the racist shit the Mikaelson are always pulling on Marcel as well as Klaus (and any other Mikaelson tbh) treating Marcel like he's family and not making any blood distinction between him and Hope.

My fame dr is practically those siblings I mentioned earlier and characters of the tvdu in a human au. I'm dating Klaus as well in this reality, and I'm basically the most successful actress and singer of the century (I need my main moment leave me alone). Klaus is a successful painter, at the level of Picasso, van Gogh, Dalí, da Vinci etc. Rebekah is the most famous models of Victoria's Secret, Elijah is one of the best lawyers, Kol is a professional magician and Finn and Freya manage a luxurious company. In other ways, they're famous Kardashian level, as well as my family.

Their parents, Dahlia and Henrik are still dead though lmao. Rip

And I scripted out Julie Pl*c, JK R*wling and Rick Riordan as well. And I basically attributed Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and a lot more to a poc woman named Elia Lennox. I changed everything about hp and pjo btw, they're not problematic books in my dr at all and I added a lot of representation, diversity as well as subplots.

And I asked an ai a way to eat meat that doesn't come from animal abuse and scripted it into my dr. Short explanation: scientists grow meat in a controlled environment using animal cells, without the need to raise and slaughter live animals.

But going back to your point, idk. I like to script scenarios I see in tumblr (especially the ones from @klausysworld 🙈), but perhaps is the one where I run over Klaus with my car and throw him off a bridge in my tvd dr. I need that enemies to lovers trope and he's an complete asshole anyway.

Or perhaps the scenario I scripted where the Mikaelson "go poor" for a week and they have to come live at our house and I suddenly have to share my bedroom with Klaus. Dw they get rich again, think about it as if their bank account was suddenly hacked by no reason other than karma. Or perhaps witches, who knows.

Ah, I love my stupid fanfic drs that make absolutely no sense. They're so ❤️💗🌷🌼💛 and ☠️💥💢🕳️💀 at the same time.

[jeonstellate]

love is · · · — trivias & outtakes

✇༄ spoilers for the entire love is · · · series

✇༄ bulleted list format

masterlist | love is · · · masterlist

[gif’s full credit belongs solely to its owner]

✇༄ disclaimer: twilight from spy x family has nothing to do with this. i just wanted to use a gif of him as a header of sorts. heh.

✇༄ reader/main character will be referred to by their mafia codename ‘sea,’ just to make ramblings easier :]

inspo: plot & conflict

let’s get the general stuff out of the way first

so, this whole mini-series was actually thought of because i watched the “gambler” mv and band version one too many times as i tried to cope w pcd

[i highly recommend the band ver btw. it tempts me to swerve to changkyun every single time, istg]

and then i consequentially topped it off w mafia!aus . . .

truth be told, i wanted to save the hidden baby/secret child trope for future works since i didn’t want to overuse it

[it’s my go-to in my earlier, unpublished works. idk if they’ll ever see the light of day, but they’re def still in my drive somewhere]

i needed a big enough reason for sea to leave a relationship they were otherwise more than happy in — and (un)fortunately, i couldn’t think of any other situation

i figured being responsible for more than their own life should do the trick, so there

a general plot was made, tgt w the root of conflict

a gambler & a danger

ngl, out of all the parts for this mini-series, these two were the only ones that turned out exactly like how i planned them

specifically, the story captured in these two parts were the exact scenes i wanted to tell right from the start

there was no deviation from the original plot/screenplay or whatsoever

it was great

which, now that i think abt it, was prolly why i finished these two relatively quick

since there was no ‘what-if’s to consider

a secret

in contrast, i had a slight difficulty for this part because i had a ‘what-if’ scenario

i had to debate whether hoseok would be traveling alone or not

ngl, i have a tendency to go for the angstier way — but, for this case, the two options had contrasting effects on the story

option one was ultimately made canon

yk, hoseok crosses paths with sea on vacation and basically invites himself to walk around w them lol

but option two . . .

oh boy

did y’all hear abt that one time when hoseok was spotted at the airport w kihyun and changkyun? (it was after wonho became a soloist, so ot7 stans won that day *insert star eyes here*)

but yea, i basically took inspo from that and went— what if?

what if hoseok and then changkyun spotted sea?

then, different from canon, the convo they’d have would be significantly shorter since sea would feel more apprehensive about being in the same place as MX members

neither hoseok nor changkyun would have a chance to get close enough to learn kian’s name or even play w her since sea would of course leave as soon as possible

it’s debatable if sea would even get to think abt asking hoseok and changkyun the favor of not telling the others abt seeing them in their vacation

but, either way, the men’s eyes were still faster than sea since they already caught a glimpse of bebe kian

who, as hoseok canonically puts it, “looks a lot like her father”

now here’s the part that makes me scream— it’s so angsty i personally love it:

what if, as sea turned to leave, they saw someone not too far away who eerily looks like kihyun? looking at them? looking at kian?

[*screams*]

angst level through the roof already ik, but lemme make it worse

sea was written to have a strong resolve, someone who is selfish and selfless at the same time, someone who doesn’t back down easily

so yk what? even if they made eye contact w that person who eerily resembled kihyun, they would pretend they weren’t spooked

they would still leave . . . bc they already made their choice

as for the reason why i didn’t go with that route, even if it was literally the angstiest of the two aka my type lol

personally, i felt like option two would waste all of sea’s efforts to get away

i mean— sure, they would still reunite w kihyun eventually [bc yes, no matter what sea does, they’re still meant to end up w him]

but at least w option one, they had more time to enjoy their freedom — and w that extra time, they were able to have no regrets abt ruining an eight-year long of otherwise perfectly fine relationship

plus, if they saw each other then, sea would still be able to get away since it’d take kihyun a while to recover from his shock

but once he processed everything? he will try to find them. no amount of SVT’s countermeasures and precautions would be able to stop him. he will find sea and kian within two months — three months, tops.

however, as touched on in ‘a compass,’ that was exactly what sea didn’t want. bc they’d eventually end up hating him for real

overall, as much as i love angst, i didn’t want the series to get too messy once the domino effect hits, that was why i ultimately made option one canon

inspo: yoo kian

originally, i planned kian to be a boy

[just bc bb boys are my default for hidden baby!aus for some reason??? yea idk, either]

but then, yk how for some ppl you just see what gender of children “suit” them the best? like, minhyuk’s def a girl dad??

yea . . . same logic for kihyun. although his interactions w kylo are v uwu, i still see him as a girl dad. perhaps not as strong as my vision for minhyuk, but it’s still there

as for her name, sea never planned to completely erase kihyun in her life

they wanted to raise her away from him and out of his radar, yes, but they still wanted kian to have a piece of him wherever they go

hence sea let kian carry his surname and even share a syllable of her name w him

and they were only confident abt doing that bc, again, kihyun didn’t know abt bebe kian — he can’t track both of them using someone he didn’t even know existed

ik the spelling of her name can be considered masculine, but i merely romanized how her name would be written in hangul (키안/기안), so i see no point in giving her the feminine spelling of it

oh! i almost forgot: kian wasn’t actually the first name i thought of for sea and kihyun’s kid

i already forgot what the first name was, but the name kian was thought of after i remembered abt sian from tros lol

inspo: mafia codes

i wanted everyone to have a mafia codename of sorts

the members w stage names were easy, also those w alternate names (as in hyungwon’s case) since i just used those

but for those who have their real names as their stage names, i had to be creative

jooheon became ‘honey,’ after his current stage name that i keep forgetting [srly, i always forget that he goes by joohoney now T_T]

minhyuk became ‘gorae,’ which is korean for whale, his favorite animal

the only one i rlly had trouble w was kihyun’s code name

i personally associate him w hamsters, but i couldn’t thing of anything that could make ‘hamster’ as a code name intimidating, so i had to look for inspiration somewhere else

somehow, in my quest, i stumbled upon the fact that ‘yoo’ — kihyun’s last name — can be spelled as ‘ryu’ in the past

hence his code name ‘ryuki’

as for SVT members . . . there’s a reason why not all of them appeared in the series lol

i mean— besides the fact that it’s a MX-centered fic, most of them go by their real names on stage

and i rlly don’t have the energy to give everyone a creative code name lol

still, i came up with some just in case i ran out of members who have stage names

thus ‘player’ for wonwoo, after the carmen sandiego character and also the fact that he’s a gamer

‘moon’ for junhui, after his korean surname (문)

and two more back-ups i didn’t get to use: ‘ghost’ for seungkwan, solely bc his last name is boo [sometimes i think i’m funny] && ‘polar’ for hansol vernon, after his current emoji representative

though imma be honest

i have no idea who ‘labri’ is

when i first thought of the code name, it rooted from the word ‘lovely.’ when i tried to write it in hangul, it became ‘랍리’ or ‘labli’/‘labri’/‘lablee’/‘rabri’/— you get the idea

but with that, two members come to mind personally: jeonghan and mingyu

if ‘labri’ is jeonghan, it could also be the case that ‘labri’ came from ‘libra’ aka his zodiac sign, with a couple letters switched

however, if ‘labri’ is mingyu, it could also be the case that ‘labri’ came from ‘labrador’

so yea, idk who he is

a favor

despite being angsty, this part was a lil difficult to write ngl

i literally had to rewrite the entire thing three times before i finally had something i was satisfied w

i knew what i wanted to write, specifically what scenes i wanted to show, it was just a matter of how i should tell it

MX’s introduction to kian was originally captured in great detail as in move-for-move

but then . . . idk what was actually wrong w it, but it just seemed wrong for some reason???

i still saved that draft somewhere bc those scenes were so cute to me, but yea . . . i ultimately rewrote it

[sometimes i just don’t get how my brain works, sigh]

funnily enough, the scene that convinced me to even write this part in the first place didn’t even make the cut

like ‘a secret,’ this part also had a ‘what if’ — one that also had a contrasting effect to the story

the second idea was what i made canon

yk— wonho volunteered for the alliance but ryuki ended up the one getting engaged after MX pieced kian’s parentage tgt

but in the initial idea . . .

honey was chosen for the alliance

i didn’t work out how he was picked, but i did work out that he was v reluctant abt it — as in he wasn’t totally on board w it, but still agreed anw bc it was for MX’s future

sea wasn’t SVT’s pick for the marriage in this version tho

instead, honey was set to marry periwinkle aka perrie — someone who wasn’t part of SVT’s core, but a high-ranking member nonetheless

their dynamic was supposed to be like enemies-to-lovers, since both of them weren’t really fond of the idea

perrie was supposed to be rlly close w sea tho: partly bc the former was one of their “guards” until they left the country

which led to sea attending the wedding as a show of support

i mean— sure, for this ver, sea is still avoiding ryuki as much as they can, but with the alliance between SVT-MX pretty much complete, they're a bit more lax abt it than in canon

also bc of the logic that MX didn't find them to begin w before they crossed paths again, so the threat "make sure we never find you" in ‘a gamble’ is still in sea's favor

now here's the scene that convinced me to write this part in the first place but didn't even make the cut:

as it happened in canon, labri still mistakingly hands kian to the MX members before hurriedly leaving

and that event is still the reason why MX members will be able to piece together kian's parentage

although, for this ver, kian will resemble sea more than ryuki

[honestly idk how kian ended up looking like ryuki more in canon when i’ve been dead-set that she should look like her mapa more right from the beginning T_T]

[hoseok’s comment in ‘a secret’ was only supposed to be a signal like “i know who the father is”]

they will still be able to figure it out tho based on her features and other “coincidences”

unlike in canon tho, the one who will pick her up from MX’s house is sea

think “you fcking did WHAT? labri, you’re fcking DEAD. don’t fcking go near my daughter, i’m mad at you. i’ll pick her up myself”

yea, sea’s furious at labri oki

[like, so v much so that they literally signed up to go to the lion’s den unaccompanied without much thought]

and understandably so, since hello?? this whole thing was abt keeping kian & kihyun apart???

not to worry, though

surprisingly enough, had they met this way, they would’ve been pretty civil . . . and calm

i didn’t work out the logistics, but kihyun supposedly harbor no ill feelings for sea in this ver

it’s like . . . after piecing kian’s parentage, he just figures out what exactly happened and just . . . understood

so, yea

for this ver, “the talk” that happened in ‘a compass’ is a lot quieter and calmer

like it literally takes place while the other members painstakingly gather everything that belongs to kian that had been scattered around the house lol

and as a sort of soft epilogue, sea and ryuki would meet again in honey and periwinkle’s wedding reception

where it would be alluded that they would be a couple again in the future

and then [*hits the slate*] CUT

.

.

.

ngl i rlly looked forward to writing the reunion in this ver since it was the reason this part exist in the first place

but

as i progressed writing the opening scenes for this particular part, i realized it didn’t seem realistic that ryuki would just let sea off the hook that easily

sure, this is fiction and all, but i figured kihyun at least deserves some time to show sea that the trauma they caused wasn’t okay

cuz yk . . . we can’t just invalidate ppl’s feelings like that

so yeah

that’s why canon is the way it is

a journey & a compass

frankly, these two parts wouldn’t’ve existed if not for the anons that asked abt them

cuz i fully intended to just end the story in ‘a favor’

partly bc i knew if i extended the story beyond that, i would have no choice but to actually address kihyun’s trauma

not that there was smth wrong w doing that, it’s just . . . i didn’t want to mess it up

even if it’s fictional, that trauma is heavy yk

i think i messed it up anw but yk it is what it is ig

ngl there was only supposed to be one part after ‘a favor’

but, while i was writing ‘a journey,’ i noticed that there would be a shift in the tone?— the color?— idk how to phrase it— of the story

so i decided that it would be best to split the supplementary part into two

one focusing on the “pretending”

and the other on the “closure”

as i mentioned on one of my replies to an anon, the keyword for the last set of supplemental parts was ‘wedding’

yea, i technically could’ve just went straight to ‘a compass’ without having to write ‘a journey,’ that’s true

but there were some information in ‘a journey’ that i needed to mention

don’t ask what it was bc i can’t recall now lol

but yea that’s why there was ‘a journey’ before ‘a compass’ :D

inspo: significant others

sea actually had a name in the first draft of ‘a gamble’ bc i originally didn’t plan on sharing the story here

and every time a story is exclusively for me, i tend to create ocs since that’s what i did before my tumblr writer era

[yes, that’s why my mcmxcvii & mcu stuff are x oc . . . those universes were built years ago]

but anw

sea’s name was choi gaeul

they were supposed to share their last name with their cousin seungcheol

wait actually let me elaborate

they were named as such first

with their first name being from chu gaeul of boys over flowers [aka half of one of my first ships as a kid uwu]

&& then when the time came to pick a relative who share the same surname, seungcheol became an obvious choice

ergo, SVT was ultimately inserted in the story

ergo, the codename ‘autumn’ later on became out of question since that’s what gaeul meant

ngl had i published the story w an oc, bb kian’s full name would’ve easily been choi kian

which strangely would’ve changed the story in ‘a favor’ & onwards now that i think abt it

huh

anw sea’s occupation is an architect

why? solely bc of a small fact mentioned in ‘a journey’: so i can say that they thought seungcheol would simply ask them to design a blueprint for SVT’s house as a favor

that’s v shallow ik, but i always try to be as vague and as general as possible in my x reader fics

so when i do specify some things, they’re more likely than not thought of last min and had to be made bc i had no other choice

that includes the name drops for minhyuk’s and changkyun’s respective partners, actually — since i couldn’t just refer to them as their other half every single time

they’re more than just that yk

i came up with minhyuk’s partner’s name first — nari — bc they were supposed to be mentioned by name in ‘a favor,’ right in the beginning when it was discussed that them & minhyuk were already married by then

for extra measure, i also planned out some things abt nari & their relationship w minhyuk just in case i needed them

like how nari’s works in a flower shop & somehow met minhyuk there one day, allowing for their love story to start [yea, they got the florist-mafia trope. it’s cute]

&& also how nari is actually pregnant during ‘a favor’ & onwards

them seeking advice from sea abt giving birth & parenthood was actually my back up plan for the story flow lol

actually, that also includes them offering to babysit kian for “experience” [one of my drafts actually had a scene where ryuki & sea had a fight abt this lol]

funnily enough, the name nari was thought of bc i remembered abt the narra tree

it was rlly random, but that basically gave my name search a direction — name starting w n, meaning possibly related to plants

&& tada~ nari means ‘lily’ — or so google says

i didn’t bother thinking of a surname for nari though, or hayeon too, for that matter

in fact, changkyun’s partner has less info planned out compared to nari

most likely bc i didn’t intend them to play a huge role in the series or appear at all

but alright, here’s everything i came up w abt changkyun’s partner

their name hayeon was from one of the former kids in tros [i just think it’s a beautiful-cute name, nothing else]

they’re a doctor, speciality unknown — most likely smth related to surgery tho

mostly bc the trope that i thought for them two involves kyun getting wounded && hayeon fixing him up

i did consider that hayeon was prolly the first person to know abt sea’s pregnancy

and, for some reason, sea was alright w them knowing

specifically, for wtv reason, sea knew hayeon would keep that knowledge a secret from MX

i didn’t rlly flesh out the ‘why,’ exactly, but it was def hinted in ‘a compass’

smth abt what happened to hayeon will fs prompt MX to tighten their security/surveillance around sea when they find out that they’re pregnant

ngl what ‘happened’ may or may not have involved hayeon getting kidnapped . . .

and let’s just say hayeon believes that it’s better to stay away from any mafia than to accept some sort of protection from them

based on their experience, yk the mafia protection basically failing them, they have the right to feel that way

so yeah: sea knowing that particular belief of theirs def played a part on why sea would feel safe sharing their secret w them

&& also why hayeon was intentionally ‘absent’ in the series compared to nari whose scenes just got cut: they were staying as far away from all the mafia shenanigans as much as possible

which, really, wasn’t difficult for them to do given that they’re a doctor & everything

since we’re on the topic, i might as well mention this

hayeon & changkyun’s on-&-off relationship was def influenced by their kidnapping

i won’t go to details bc i didn’t actually flesh it out

but, as i see it rn, their story def has so much angst in it that i can’t even guarantee a ‘happy ending’ for them if i ever write it

final notes

this rambling has gone on longer than i intended

i didn’t realize i had so much to say abt the ‘behind’ of this series oml

but anw

to close, i just want take a moment to thank you guys for reading & showing interest in ‘love is · · ·’

it’s the first series i finished wo having all the parts prewritten before posting, so all the interactions — the likes, the reblogs, the comments, the messages — really drove this to completion

i read all the reblogs, tags, comments, & msgs btw, even if i only replied to the asks

mostly bc i despise how it’s my ‘main’ blog that replies whenever i answer a comment smh

&& like . . . idk how i can answer reblogs/tags . . .

i love reading them, actually

i went back to read every single one of them multiple times to help me finish everything. they helped me a lot fr

and i uh— i’m so sorry i broke your hearts several times

i’m admittedly just good at dropping angsty one-liners && my fluffy writing needs a lot of work

so hopefully the hopeful ending made all the heartbreak worth it . . . somehow. somewhat.

if there’s anything you’re curious abt that i didn’t address in this lengthy ramble, pls send me an ask here!!

feel free to send me other stuff through there too: what you liked abt this series, what frustrated you, idk. wtv else you think of

that way i can actually reply *insert dancer emoji, three times, here*

forewarning tho: you might get a reply that’s more than what you asked for bc i tend to overshare—

but anw yea

from the v bottom of my heart, thank you for tuning to ‘love is · · ·’ and following ryuki & sea’s story (⌒▽⌒)♡

[superloves4]

I still taste the past - Chapter 2

Relationships: Curufin/Finrod, Celegorm/Aredhel (background) Summary: Finrod wanted to see Curufin, get his closure after all they had gone through, end things once and for all. What he gets is a journey through the memory of where they've been and the choice of where they will go. TW: none for this chapter A/N: This is connected to "We can always begin again" but it should be able to be read on it's own besides very occasional chapter.

Also on AO3

Finrod had stared at him for a few minutes that day.

Curufinwë Atarinkë was small, was what he'd thought, staring as the younger child trying to reach a book on a shelf too tall for his smallness, he smiled watching the other. He hadn't seen little Atarinkë since his naming, he had thought for sure that he had grown more than that since then, it was strange to think him the brother of Maitimo. Cuter by far.

"Need help?" he asked, startling the child that then fell to the ground. Finrod thought he'd have to calm the little boy, he'd gotten awfully good at it since Aikanàro decided he wanted to run everywhere. But not little Atarinkë, who pulled himself back up and glared at him from his grand tallness of one apple.

"If you had not been sneaking, I would 'ave gotten it," and huffed at him, looking very proper with his arms crossed and standing on his tiptoes.

"Forgive me," he had answered, it seemed his apology further annoyed the other "I can make it up to you by giving this book, no?" And he grabbed the book easily, reading the cover "Wire jewellery?"

Atarinkë turned red, grabbing the book from his hands and hiding it by his chest  "It's very important for my appenticeship!"

Finrod laughed "Uncle Fëanàro won't let you in the forge yet?"

The lack of answer was all Finrod needed to know, he pinched the other child's cheek, earning him another startled yelp.

"I'm going to tell Nelyo and Kàno you hurt me!" he exclaimed.

"Oh my," he smiled wider "And what name will you give them, A-tar-in-kë?"

The boy stared at him, realizing he didn't know which cousin he was talking to. 

He let out an angry cry and left the library with the promise of sending his older brothers to beat him up and then send his father to throw him away from the palace. Finrod laughed, rather happy he had decided to go to the library that day.

Little Findaràto liked pretty things and Atarinkë might just be the prettiest.

The next time they would see each other was a party, with the Arafinwions living in Alqualondë and the Fëanorions going wherever the wind took them, the Fëanorions and the Arafinwions didn't interact much outside of parties.

Turukàno had been sick that day and with Aikanàro and Angaràto disappearing Eru knows where, Finrod had been left with nothing to do but to stare at Atarinkë.

He still found him cute, at that moment he was dangling his legs while held by his father, basking in the attention he was given as the youngest child, Finrod smiled, with his own mother about to deliver and with the rumours about Nerdanel possibly being pregnant, he didn't think Atarinkë would have much longer to enjoy that spot. Would he be relegated to trying to find his own entertainment as Finrod was? He couldn't help a sort of kinship with that, having been robbed of that spot with the birth of his two brothers, and eventually, Atarinkë, himself. At least he had the title of his father's eldest son, he had no idea what the younger boy would do instead, as he was number five. Maybe he'd look for a friend?

It would turn out that little Atarinkë would carve out his own niche among his brothers, but he would not search for a friend as little Findaràto had hoped, instead, they would continue to meet in mostly meaningless family ways, greet each other quickly before leaving to find their own people, Finrod with Turukàno and Atarinkë with his brothers. In fact it might have been possible that could have turned into all they ever had, with the years passing and them never being more to each other.

In the years that would follow, Finrod would wonder if that would not have been the kinder of the two options and he'd wonder what he'd do if given the chance to go back to those days.

But that was not his choice to change and a young but not full grown, naive perhaps, Findaràto once more met his cousin Atarinkë in the library.

It had been a warm day, being outside was unbearable, the others had decided to leave and go swim in the river, have some fun since they were finally all in one place. They had practically raided the palace kitchens, taking all types of sweets and beverages they could carry on their own, despite Tyelkormo's protest that he could hunt their dinner Maitimo had quickly put a stop to that line of thought, their trip would not be turned in another hunt he had insisted, but when they asked Finrod he said no.

For as much as he liked his family, he also enjoyed some moments of peace, and in that warm day, so close to his maturity and the responsibility that would come with it, he hoped for a moment alone.

He would not find it as Atarinkë had also chosen to forsake the trip to the river, looking very solemn as he hunched over his chosen book, no longer too small to grab one from the higher shelves. Finrod did feel some measure of pride at still being the taller of the two.

"Good day" he greeted but received only a quick acknowledgement in return.

He sat down to read his own philosophy book, it was a new one from the academics of Tirion and he'd waited a long time to be able to hold it. This time some of the most brilliant minds of the city pondered the validity of the senses, to some it was not possible to trust the senses as a valid way of determining reality, to others it was only through the exploration of the senses that one could find the objective reality. Finrod had not made up his mind yet on where he stood on the debate but pouring over the pages was a pleasure he would not deny himself.

Until he heard Atarinkë scoff.

"Something wrong?" he asked, frustrated with having to stop his reading.

Atarinkë stared at him for a moment, eyes the color of silver from his uncle's forges, Finrod could almost feel its scorching warmth, before scoffing again.

"Quildolos is a fool and a cheat," Atarinkë answered with a shrug, talking about the author of Finrod's book "His proposed theory is full of holes and he's terrible at delivering the slim information he does have, he's worthless."

It wasn't that Turukàno was stupid, far from it truly, but philosophy never interested him as much as it did Findaràto, so to find that Atarinkë not only knew about the topic but was apparently well versed enough to express disdain of one of his favorite author, well, Finrod jumped on it.

"You can't possibly believe Maquetindo to be the better speaker or writer," he tried to be dignified as he spoke, holding back a smile as he waited for Atarinkë's reaction. Maquetindo was Quildolos most outspoken opposer, they had been engaged in an academic battle for years now, Finrod actually liked them both but was rather curious at what he'd get from the other boy.

Atarinkë did not disappoint and with a snort he answered "No, as a speaker he is rather lacking I agree, but as a writer his words flow better and he is far more concise, no need to embellish his much better theories."

Finrod couldn't hold back anymore and just smiled wildly "How so? You must admit there is some truth that we can't always trust our senses, how much of it is objective and how much is our own desires over reality."

However, what he hadn't anticipated was Atarinkë grabbing his wrist with the palm of the hand up and gently moving a finger up and down, sending shivers down Finrod's spine.

"You are asking me to doubt everything I perceive Findaràto," Atarinkë said, not stopping his movements "To doubt that the fire of the forges will burn me, that the food I eat fills me, and that a touch means I'm here, I exist. What is reality if I can't trust my own self?"

Findaràto had gulped, feeling rather warm, there was something in the back of his mind that whispered he was about to burn, but he had ignored that feeling. With a question he sealed his fate.

"Would you like to discuss it over chess?"

Maquetindo - Quenya - Asker (maquet) Male (indo) Quildolos - Quiet dreams

[toboldlynerd]

helloooo ela 😊✨!! glad your week has settled down a bit, hopefully you have an enjoyable weekend ahead of you!

i loved reading about your spotify wrapped, i haven’t listened to most of those artists/songs, so i will have to give them a try! i just listened to runaway by AURORA and i loved the way the song kept building and building, it felt almost cinematic 🎥💫. do you have a fav song by AURORA that you’d recommend 👀?

ahhhhh, your tea box sounds so cool!! is it designed to keep the tea fresh/preserved while you’re traveling, or just as a means of storage?? i’m a coffee girl through and through 😌 (and hot chocolate too, aksjsjjj that’s how i survive the winter months, but it can be our secret 🫶)

the 9-1-1 gay firefighters are also my blorbos-in-law 😂, i have yet to succumb and watch it but sounds like it might be inevitable! it looks like there was just a new season? did you enjoy it??

i looked up the summary for graceling, it seems very compelling! i haven’t read any fantasy since i was much younger but i’ve had a few recommendations for it recently, and i remember absolutely loving getting lost in those worlds as a kid 🦄

also, btw, i adored the cute animal gifs 🥺🥰, sending love your way 💙❄️✨

Hi yes hello,

This brightened my day for sure, thank you 🧡

Oh, you've asked the million dollars question lmao AURORA was my favorite artist this year (unsurprisingly) and I do love all her work. So much. It's hard to recommend her songs so I will try my best with 3 good vibes songs, 3 heart-wrenching songs and 3 in between.

Positive

1) Queendom (the YouTube video is so good!?!)

2)

3) Exist For Love (because that music video came out way earlier than planned because “her fans needed something to be happy about” and it is just so damn beautiful)

In between

1)

2)

3)

Heart-wrenching, tears possible

Murder Song (5, 4, 3, 2, 1) (yes, that specific live video for ultimate tear potential. Also tw murder as a significant plot point of the lyrics lol)

Through The Eyes Of A Child (yeah, that version is stripped back. Yeah I cried the first 3 times listening)

Boy In The Grass (it's live, I can't listen to it often cause the raw emotions rattle me every time because of the event the lyrics are based on tw gun violence and child death if you research)

Hehehhe you activated my trap card called “asking about something im passionate about”! This was so hard my dude, it took half an hour and I nearly made the list longer again.

It's just a habit I took over from my mum I guess? It's one normal teabox that gets the designated job of traveling tea box (a little bit like the jeans of teen girl book fame lmao) and then I've also bought some small one that I can use if I don't have much space to work with. It's a certain comfort to know you've got your favorite tea with you at all times...the bigger one is for loose tea leaves and the smaller one for tea bags btw hihi

Omg omgggg, friend, the gay firefighters have taken over my shipping juices since February and won't give them back for nothing 😅 Not gonna lie, a big part of my enjoyment comes from the way it's more of an ensemble show and how they incorporated canon gay and lesbian couples in the main cast (yes, you heard right! POC lesbian main character firefighter!!!!! I am still crushing on her and her wife omfg) and those two blorbos with the most excellent little boy (Chris 🧡) made me read the trope friends to husbands (as in “24hrs marriage speedrun” lets get married - why not right now - alright then) with glee and acceptance of in-character choices that got them there. They are so idiotic sometimes but also so so intelligent 😂✌️

Do you have a favorite artist? Favorite ice cream? (mine is ben and Jerry's cookie dough lol) is there a favorite holiday sweet you always Es eat this time of year?

All the best and warm greetings from a little blanket burrito called Ela ✨🧡

[mermaidsirennikita]

hr where the mc is affair baby 'cause that's a really interesting trope

thanks

Okay so I'm not 100000% sure I'm reading this right, which is why I'm gonna give a few things.

I don't have any secret baby books wherein the leads had an affair that resulted in a pregnancy, BUT I did read Three Little Secrets by Liz Carlyle, in which the heroine and hero had a wedding that her dad annulled (leaving the hero super bitter). They re-meet years later and the heroine has a kid of a SUSPICIOUS age that the hero totally fails to pick up on for a while lol. But her husband KNEW it wasn't his baby, if that makes sense.

I think. I actually really need to reread that book, so I can't promise that it's QUALITY, but I do wanna reread it, so that's a good sign.

The Return of the Duke by Grace Callaway also has a heroine who got pregnant by the hero (he has no idea) before marrying another man, who knowingly raised her child... and then after he dies the hero shows up again, blissfully unaware that that time he banged a random woman against a wall (her first time, naturally) she got pregnant.

For people who just have affairs with each other:

Notorious Pleasures by Elizabeth Hoyt--heroine is engaged to the hero's brother (it's not a love match, but he's still upset about it lol)

Her Night with the Duke by Diana Quincy--kinda sorta not really, but it FEEEELS like it because he's supposed to get engaged to her stepdaughter... but oops, they had a one night stand and now their feelings are complex

Waking Up with the Duke by Lorraine Heath--one of the greatest historical romances ever imo, and actually lol close to "they have an affair and a baby is born" because the heroine and hero are TOLD to fuck by her husband, his best friend, because the husband is impotent and he needs an heir and he's like "JUST GO FUCK MY BEST FRIEND WHO'S REALLY GOOD IN BED BTW"

[tumblepenguin]

Why Weird: The Al Yankovic Story is the best music biopic film

So I watched it last night and I highly recommend it! But while watching the movie I kept thinking "This script is too good. Like this is too clever for it's own good." This thought couldn't escape me. I had to break down why this movie is, quite frankly, the perfect parody and love letter to the music biopic film. Quite possibly the best music biopic film.

In this essay, I will be using the songs that are explicitly referenced in Weird: The Al Yankovic Story as a way to showcase how they reflect or subvert the music biopic film tropes. How these songs are meant show the "real life backstory" of Weird Al Yankovic (and also, the universe this movie takes place in) is quite frankly buckwild. And we start at The Beginning and our first song.

My Bologna—The movie begins with the framing device—a voice over. Then, Weird Al is going to the hospital and being pronounced dead by Lin Manuel Miranda (the Hamilton writer/multi Grammy winner who was receiving the Hollywood Walk of Fame Star the same day as Weird Al and WHO JUST HAPPENED TO BE WITH WEIRD AL AT THE TIME OF THE ANNOUCEMENT OF THEIR WINS. ANYWAY WE WILL GET BACK TO THIS PLOT POINT LATER).

More voiceover. We see the hero's journey start by showing how Weird Al was a musically gifted child, but his family discouraged him. His Mom is the traditional 50's wife while Dad is a Overworked Blue Collar Man who works at factory (BUT THE ENTIRE MOVIE, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE MAKES, SIMILAR TO HOW IN A BIOPIC MOVIE, THE "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME DAD" DAD HAS "A TOUGH JOB THAT PUT BREAD ON THE TABLE, BUT MY DAMN SON DOESN'T APPRECIATE IT" FACTORY JOB). It is here we also establish the future Mentor+Agent character, but I'm getting ahead of myself. After receiving "The One True Calling"—(ie, the traveling salesman with the accordion, others gaining the appreciation for his talent at a high school polka party, the reveal to the "You Don't Understand Me" Dad how his son played the accordion in secret (complete with doing so "in the closet" because "My mom supports my artistic achievements, but still has to be a good housewife and follow her husband's rules, but to hell with the rules" idea), only for the "You Don't Understand Me" Dad to crush his spirits (ie throw him out of the house for his talent and we get the important line of "I will become Perhaps Not Technically the Best at But Arguably the Most Famous Accordion Player")—does our hero start the journey. He has a couple of tough gigs/ getting rejected while he's away from home. The future band mates are the new friends he makes away from home (guys that, as the movie points out, have shown NO MUSICAL TALENT OR INTEREST EARLIER IN THE FILM UNTIL THE BIG "GETS DISCOVERED BY A MENTOR+AGENT" MOMENT. GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF). After encouraging our hero to keep going, the future bandmates find themselves at the BIG MOMENT. The moment when our hero is tested for first time with the 1st song. The one that all audiences will know. A softball in terms of the types of references yet to come. In this case, Weird Al gets the inspiration for My Bologna after making his future bandmates a boloney sandwich.

I Love Rocky Road—The "Gets Discovered By a Mentor+Agent" moment of the music biopic. So after the real life recording of My Bologna in the bathroom (with some "dramatic license"), our hero sends his song to Captain Buffoon, a radio DJ (great name btw). The song is played on the radio and to our hero, things are looking up for him! Wrong! The record execs with TERRIBLE WIGS™ aren't buying it! They don't understand how this will get them cash money.

(Sidebar: one of the record executives is Weird Al himself in a Terrible Wig ™. And the other executive (Will Forte) is just laying into our hero. Just laying it on with saying "You're so dumb! You'll never amount to anything. Your breath kinda sticks too!" kinda jokes. And The Real Weird Al is like "hey man, that seems a little harsh." But Will Forte keeps going, making the childish insults worse. And The Real Weird Al has to say "that's kinda harsh, you don't need to go into him like that" about Fictional Weird Al. Anyway, great sequence folks.)

But our hero is not discouraged. Cause his tape to Captain Buffoon did get him a gig at a TOUGH BIKER BAR™/the "Tough crowd to win over" moment (with one bar patron being Patton Oswald, who was originally Dr Demento in the Funny or Die sketch that kicked this whole idea off. The bar owner is Dot-Marie Jones, which made me personally happy). And so he goes up alone, starts singing. But it doesn't seem to be working! The bikers/crowd aren't buying it either! See, they know what it means to be real! But low! Our hero, being discouraged, suddenly shows that "he can do it guys"! Not only that, but his friends are joining him too! The band is forming! The crowd is loving it! What once was slurs and heckling being thrown at our hero is now rapturous applause! Our hero's trial is over. BUT, a dark entity was watching from the bar. In a funny looking getup in the shadows.

Another One Rides the Bus—The Dark Bargain begins. Our dark bargain mentor figure is Rainn Wilson, playing Dr Demento (there are 2. COUNT EM 2 JOKES ABOUT DEMENTORS IN THIS SCENE ALONE. WITH LONG PAUSES FOR AUDIENCES TO REALIZE HE REFERENCING HARRY POTTER WHILE HARRY POTTER (Daniel Radcliffe) IS ON SCREEN). The success of the song means our hero gets his first taste of FAME and HIS STAGE NAME. He goes to a party with the ultimate blunt rotation including:

• Devo

• Elton John

• PeeWee Herman

• Tiny Tim

• Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

• Alice Cooper with a fake snake

• The comedian Gallagher played by Paul F Tompkins

• Kate Pierson from the B-52s

• Grace Jones

• Divine

• Salvador Dali

• Frank Zappa

• Conan O'Brien as Andy Warhol

(Sidebar: There is also a man with a guitar talking to "Elton" and another shot of a man with white blonde hair and suit that I didn't recognize. If someone could help me identify who these are supposed to be, that would be great!)

And our hero gets tested again by Jack Black as Wolfman Jack and John Deacon (bass player of Queen, which is funny because MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THAT INFO, SO WE'RE MAKING JOKES ABOUT HOW RECOGNIZABLE SOMEONE IS. THE IDEA COMES UP AGAIN LATER IN THE MOVIE). This group of people are like the bikers—they need to see if he's the Real Thing AGAIN. Which gives us another "in universe" biopic song. And the guests are impressed! And soon, our boy is getting interviewed by Oprah (with Quinta Brunson as Oprah, which is incredible). The interview starts showing that he is getting money, the house he always wanted, The Dream ™. He even shows his chain of platinum records that he wears at all times (IT SAVES HIM LATER, TRUST ME). All he needs now is THE GIRL. Enter Evan Rachel Wood as Madonna. She sees the interview with Oprah and "Sees What She Likes

(Sidebar: in the Oprah broadcast we find out Pablo Escobar—yes, the international drug cartel leader—is one of the biggest Weird Al fans. THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER).

Cut to a hotel room. Our hero makes THE PHONE CALL BACK HOME™ to check in with the family. His mom picks up (IT'S ALWAYS THE MOM IN MOVIES. ALWAYS), and she says that she misses her little boy and Dad isn't home cause he's working the factory. The trope gets subverted because she says how disappointed she is with our hero, instead of the typical "Moms always support their kids and their kids' dreams" in most movies. This brings the hero DOWN. He finds his mentor (for some reason being in a bathtub connected to the bedroom where the The Phone Call From Home™ happens). And he gets drugged on LSD! So now we have a Dream Sequence. Which is amazing! At the end, he emerges Reborn! He has also created THE GREATEST THING EVER. His "Sgt. Pepper's" (including DRUG INFLUENCE ™) if you will.

Eat It—This time, "The record executives can do nothing but be in awe of the genius they just listened to". But our hero is tired of being a ONE TRICK PONY. He wants to make his own music. This song isn't a parody. And in the universe of the movie, Michael Jackson is the greatest Parody writer of all time. Because "Beat It" in this universe is a cover song (maybe so are all popular songs ever—hard to say). Now the little man and his accordion are the ones who dominate the charts. They shape music history forever. Not everyone he actually covers in real life.

(Sidebar: This is the most batshit thought I had while watching this movie. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.)

This song is The Biggest Song in the World. And our hero is getting even more FAME. But with that comes Another Dark Bargain. At this point in a music biopic, our hero will have/or has encountered his supposed downfall. In music biopics, it's usually the mentor+agent, corrupted by money/fame. Sometimes it's the girlfriend who's a HUGE SLUT/does a lot of drugs/encourages the use of drugs/just being a BAD INFLUENCE. In this case, the girlfriend is Madonna (someone that Conservatives think is all the things depicted in the movie already. Yes, probably even being the queen of a drug cartel after killing Pablo Escobar and then takes out Weird Al via assassination at the Not Grammy Grammys BUT I AM JUMPING AHEAD OF MYSELF IN THIS STORY). So she stops on by The Mansion™ and she and Weird Al are Opposites Attract ™. They start making out (but can't show sex scenes in a PG-13 film). And the making out is so fucking funny. But now, "The Girl is in his life, and he's starting to get distracted from his job!" plot line has entered the chat. And Dr Demento is not having it. Instead of focusing on some exciting opportunities (including playing for Pablo "Previously Stated as One of Weird Al's Biggest Fans" Escobar for his 40th birthday party. Also there's a joke about Led Zeppelin versus Howie Mandel and having Weird Al replace Roger Moore as James Bond. And he throws a fit about only doing original work. Which is hilarious since we live in a "Who's the next James Bond after Daniel Craig" era), our hero just wants to be with his BAD INFLUENCE.

While at dinner with Madonna, there is a phone call.

(Sidebar: Weird Al states "This has been the happiest six hours of my life". How I'm choosing to believe that from the time Madonna and Weird Al made out, do the Next Morning Scene™ to the time of this dinner—including the previously established "Getting Distracted" scene—all took place in six hours. Insane.)

It's from one of the record executives (played by The Real Weird Al). It's about Michael Jackson "parodying" Eat It. And our hero IS NOT HAVING IT ™. The first blow that will lead to DOWNFALL. The Phone is getting smashed. Our hero will now be linked to Michael Jackson forever because of this parody! He returns to the table and cannot eat (it. GET IT? Also the waiter is Josh Groban). Now Madonna is giving him alcohol. The Slow Decent to the Bottom has begun! Meanwhile, the band is pissed! We haven't seen them in several minutes, but the BAND IS FIGHTING is about to commence. They say Weird Al has lost touch. He threats to replace everyone with machines (even the GUY WE DON'T REMEMBER IS IN THE BAND, LIKE JASON DEACON, BASS PLAYER FOR QUEEN. See, it all comes back around). "You've changed man," is said. Dr Demento arrives to try and SALVAGE THE SITUATION ™. But "Anything you want to say, you can say in front of my BAD INFLUENCE." And the mentor figure thinks The Girl=Bad Influence. "She's only using you for her own gains" line is used. But our hero is blinded by the love/BAD INFLUENCE to see the truth. This is also where the hinting mention of Like a Surgeon happens (BUT WE'RE NOT THERE YET. THE PAYOFF HASN'T HAPPENED YET). "You're not my real dad!" (even though this entire time, Weird Al wasn't looking for a Father Figure™). The mentor+agent figure is now dismissed. Madonna runs after him, telling him not to Drive While Drunk. But hands over the car keys away cause she a BAD INFLUENCE. While Driving To Clear His Head ™, our hero flips through the radio. It's playing the top radio hits (HIS SONGS) and he turns off the radio is disgust. Suddenly we have a car crash.

Like a Surgeon—We are now back in the hospital. All of the previously stated information is the first HOUR AND FOUR MINUTES OF THIS MOVIE. TO SET UP THE REASON LIKE A SURGEON EXISTS AS A SONG. THIS IS THE GIVEN BACKSTORY FOR THIS SONG.

But now, it's The Second Biggest Thing of All Time. And we get choreography that's the Vogue choreography. And Madonna is doing it backstage. So she's inspired by Weird Al, not ballroom dance culture, to dance like that in Vogue. Fucking wild. Also the backup dancers are wearing cone bras (a thing Madonna made famous with Like a Virgin). We now get The Doors movie parody with the ROCK BOTTOM MOMENT. Which includes flashing the accordion to the audience (instead of a dick). And now, our boy is CANCELLED and has to LAY LOW, which mean going to a diner with his very famous girlfriend. Madonna says what their Hollywood couple/ship name should be. But they couldn't lay low, because Madonna got kidnaped by Pablo Escobar. That's right, you forgot about Pablo Escobar, didn't you? But I mentioned him previously. And now, he's now the main plotline. All for Weird Al not noticing him senpai.

And now our movie turns into an action movie. With an amazing diner fight+punchline at the end of the scene. Also a "Predator style jungle knockout to sneak onto the enemy's basecamp" scene. And Madonna is being held hostage during Pablo's 40th birthday party, including a mariachi band playing. But Weird Al shows up and a firefight ensues. He gains the upper hand (cause everyone is a terrible shot+Tarantino style blood squibs go off. It's awesome).

THEN PABLO ESCOBAR SHOOTS WEIRD AL DEAD.

BUT PSYCH! CAUSE CHAIN OF PLATINUM RECORDS SAVED HIS ASS. AN HOUR AND SEVENTEEN MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE WE BRING THE CHECKHOV'S RECORD BACK. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

And Weird Al kills Pablo Escobar by throwing a record into his head. And Madonna, being the #girlboss that she is, decides she wants to becoming the head of an international drug cartel, and wants Weird Al to help her. But he decides to go against her. Her BAD INFLUENCE no longer has a hold on his life. AND THE VOICE OVER RETURNS. Cause now "the hero has to return home before his big comeback after the Fall from Grace" needs to happen, because of course that's what you do in a music biopic. So he returns home and starts working at the factory pushing levers and buttons that we, the audience and he, Weird Al, doesn't have a clue what they do (other than maim fellow factory workers, BUT WHATEVER). The "You Don't Understand Me" Dad finds him in the Depths Of Despair. And our hero has his emotional outburst. But our Dad has turned a new leaf. In fact, he like parody songs! He even sings the oldest one we know ("Jingle Bells, Batman Smells"). Also the mom is wearing the EAT IT fat suit.

(Sidebar: I feel mixed on this fat suit, but I won't get into it right now.)

And with this shared parody ancestry, the Dad thinks it's finally time to tell Weird Al why he was against him playing the accordion in the first place.

Amish Paradise—Dad's Tragic Backstory/Footloose Reason Why Society Doesn't Allow Their Kids to Do INSERT BLANK ACTIVITY HERE. Everything that you have read up until this point, an HOUR AND TWENTY FIVE MINUTES OF THE MOVIE, has been leading to this backstory for this song's inclusion in the movie. You're welcome. This Tragic Backstory is also animated, so thanks! Also because this is a rap/motivationally sounding song (I guess???), we see that our hero has Returned to Fight Another Day! This time with a new sound!

(Sidebar: does anyone else wonder if Coolio knew about this cameo before he died? Just asking cause Madonna apparently wasn't consulted about the role Evan Rachel Wood plays in this film according to interviews I watched after the fact).

This song is at the Not Grammy Grammys (he gets the "Perhaps Not Technically the Best at But Arguably the Most Famous Accordion Player" award over Prince. We'll need to move on from there). After being present the award by Diana Ross and Hulk Hogan, our guy wins and goes onstage to accept. Meanwhile, an assassin is seating in the front row. But wait, I thought Pablo Escobar is dead? Who is in charge of this assassin? Why, it's our girl Madonna. BUT I'M GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF.

The acceptance speech become a "Suck It Losers!" kinda speech. And here is where the A Star is Born reference with Weird Al pissing himself onstage happens. And Weird Al is assassinated. By a Madonna who is no longer in the audience, dressed in what I think is her American Life outfit.

(Sidebar: IS CYNDI LAUPUR NEXT TO DR DEMENTO IN THE AUDIENCE? CAUSE THAT'S NOT EVAN RACHEL WOOD AND WE NEEDED A FAKEOUT OF MADONNA SUPPOSEDLY SITTING IN THE AUDIENCE IN ORDER FOR HER DO THE ASSASSINATION. ANYWAY!)

And we get "What happened after the artist died/peaked" before credits rolls. Then credits with fake photos are mixed with real photos from childhood (I think those are real. If not, great touch). AND WE GET A MID CREDITS SCENE. Madonna brings flowers to Weird Al's grave (that says ATE IT 1985), but as she's leaving a zombie hand of Weird Al grabs her to drag her to hell like the end of Carrie/other horror movies. So Weird Al has been dead this entire time, and we have only been listening to a Zombie Weird Al since 1985!

Now You Know—the "Yep, this 100% happened guys. Totally!" song. Also has some great mentions about how long/repetitive the song is, who worked on the film, explicitly showing the parody songs instead of the originals used in the end credits, mentioning the "studio musician backing vocals" (who sound amazing by the way), and how the song can technically be nominated for an Oscar.

And this is why this movie is the great parody of all time.

[twstedtales]

#𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒 ...!

this will be the list of my incoming works! since uni is still kicking my ass, i couldn't guarantee that your requests will be written anytime but i promise they will come soon!

ps. this will not be written in order! i will instantly shove(lol) your request here the moment i got it 👌 but if its not here 24 hrs after you send it, maybe bc tumblr eats it so feel free to send them in again!

btw, some of these are my pathetic ideas 😭😂 esp the ones at the beginning lol.

requests: open!

reverse harem (with all twst boys) finding out you receive a love letter and secret confession [sorta series]

travelling back in the past and meeting the boys' child self (all twst boys) [series]

self aware au [mini series]

reverse isekai au (vice/dorm heads)

second chance trope (jade, floyd, azul, idia)

jade and floyd crashing azul's date with reader while singing "kiss the girl"

reader braids his hair (vil)

getting trapped in the elavator with them + confession (vice/dorm heads)

they have an impostor due to alchemy incident (dorm heads)

you find out that they date you because of a bet/contract (azul, jade, floyd)

morning fluff with them (dorm heads)

reaction to reader getting kidnapped with the overblot crew (dorm heads)

courting headcanons (idia, trey, jamil, jack)

reader who has high pain tolerance (lilia, trey, jamil, rook)

reader who kabedons them (jack, trey, leona, idia)

falling in love with someone they rejected (dorm heads)

reader who gives physical affection when they're alone (malleus, cater, idia, deuce)

reader wearing their clothes (dorm heads)

meeting their soulmates (lilia, jade, floyd)

romantic tropes (vil, rook, epel)

reader who is like shenhe (malleus, sebek, silver, lilia)

reader afraid seeing them after their overblot (dorm heads)

trying to fluster/flirt with deuce

taking jade to a lantern festival

fluff with riddle

soulmates au (jade, floyd, azul)

reading showing songs from their world (deuce, ace, azul)

reader crush accidentally praising them (jamil, leona)

reader is sick headcanons (ace, malleus)

otome gamer reader (silver)

asking them to sing for you (dorm heads)

learning new dance (idia, ortho)

30+ drafts of my 520 followers event lol

[yesimwriting]

Hello! Your Nikolai fic tranquility is so beautiful! Can you write more for Nikolai? Maybe the opposite with reader having a nightmare? Or whatever you want just please give me more! If you have a tagging list I'd love to be included btw :)

A/n hii!! first off,, thank you! i was a little nervous about writing him for the first time,, but i love him so much (even though i love a good villain/morally grey character in love i think nikolai would probably make the least toxic bf in the grishaverse lol)

you gave me a little too much freedom here lol bc i have so many ideas for him!! lowkey might need to give him a longer fic/series soon when i catch up with requests!! WOW THIS FIC IS SO LONG AND FOR WHAT

Summary: Reader is a handmaid who has grown up assisting Nikolai. Through the years, the two have developed a special relationship that most definitely breaks royal protocol--they’re best friends and rivals on a good day, and dangerously close to being something more the second either of them is remotely upset or extremely happy. Learning about the fact that Nikolai was almost engaged to Alina (a good friend of yours) and being reminded of the fact that as royalty Nikolai has many prospects (both serious women worthy of his title and women only suitable for trysts meant to relieve tension) has you both realizing something you should have years ago.

Word count: 31210

Warnings: disclaimer--may not be the most cannon thing ever,, but i wanted the ‘child of the help competes and falls in love with the child of royalty’ energy okay?? Lol

I could do a whole blurb series with this dynamic nikolai x reader,, like just stories of them growing up together and randomly realizing they might like each other romantically?? I probably shouldn’t rn but i ADORE this trope.

--

The perfection of the room is disappointing. Idle hands, idle thoughts--so I work to smooth out a perfect duvet. Still, the thoughts come--aggressive and unavoidable. It’s silly, maybe even sad, to feel possessive over something that’s never been yours, something that could never be yours, but the harder I fight off the feeling the stronger it grows. Jealousy is a weed growing quickly in my chest, vile roots planted firmly in my heart.

Normally my favorite part of the day would be waiting for Nikolai to return to his room in the palace after dinner and his evening duties. He’s always a bit softer in the evenings, during my last check-in of the day. I’m normally thrilled to be done organizing his room early because that means the second he arrives there will be no distraction. Most evenings, he’ll find me perched in the seat by his bed, reading. He’ll mock-scold me for daring to defy his orders and reading ahead from the book we both take turns reading aloud from each night. He then warns me that I better react exactly the way I did when I first read it or else. That threat is always followed by a gentle laugh.

Tonight I’m in no mood for our nightly banter or even our nightly reading. My mother had warned me of the dangers of getting too comfortable with the royal family. I should have heeded that warning when she first gave it to me, the morning she found Nikolai and I fast asleep on a couch in the library as children. The palace likes to bring up the children of the staff by training them to attend to the next generation of royals. It makes the staff more efficient, a lifetime of knowing what someone wants makes you better for them. It also creates some level of connection, making betrayal a little less likely. Nikolai and I might have taken it farther than most. But now I want a reminder of the way we’re supposed to be--maybe if I detach now the bleeding of my heart won’t kill me. That has to remain secret, because if I explain it to Nikolai something in me will break. The one line between us will be crossed.

This will be the sixth secret I’ve kept from Nikolai in my entire life.

--

The secrets:

I don’t know why I was picked for Nikolai. I wasn’t particularly skilled, but still, the day came when my mother was told that I now worked directly for the Lantsov boy. It’s an honor, a true one, but my mother had been a little nervous. To whom much is given, much is expected--and I detested Nikolai. Not for being a prince, but for being a prince who thought girls couldn’t race or fight.

The day my mother came looking for me because I never showed up for dinner and she found Nikolai and I attempting to fight in the way only a ten-year-old girl and eleven-year-old boy would, she had looked truly mortified. Nikolai had only laughed, either oblivious to my mother’s embarrassment or uncaring about it. He had then hugged me--an expression of care that had left me reeling. I saw him more as a rival than someone to tend to, but in that moment I saw him as a friend. Even more so when he told me he didn’t want me to go yet and that he was upset that so much of the day had been wasted by studies that kept him with boring people and away from me. And then he invited me to his lessons--my mother was quick to attempt to decline politely, but the desires of a prince at any age outweigh that of a mother.

After that, everyone kind of just stopped trying to remind us of our propriety. The tutor at first was concerned about my presence, but Nikolai remained stubborn. I wasn’t a big enough deal to cause an argument, so I began to attend lessons with him almost every day, only staying away when my mother needed aid with laundry or cleaning. His parents must have been somewhat aware of our friendship, but they must have been oblivious to our closeness because it was never mentioned.

My mother’s worry began to ease, she’d even started to take some pride when I’d come to our room proudly proclaiming that I scored two marks higher than Nikolai. She did, however, warn that it might be more tactful to let him score higher.

The comment was casual, just a suggestion, but it left me feeling wrong. It was the first time since we met that I had thought about our different statuses. I didn’t tell him--and that was the first secret I ever kept from him.

As we grew, we traded physical competition for academic rivalry, trying to best each other in both lessons and games of strategy like chess and cards. But with growing comes responsibility. Nikolai started to have obligations that were meant to be private. I couldn’t follow him at all times. But he’d always come back from locked door meetings grinning like he carried schoolyard gossip instead of government secrets. He shared everything with me, even when I playfully warned against it.

He’d always step closer when I teased that perhaps he shouldn’t tell me everything. And then he’d say, “If I can’t trust you, then I can’t trust anyone--and I don’t want to live in a world like that.” Often, he’d give my hand a light squeeze before moving on like he had not said anything intimate.

On a day in which Nikolai was in one of those meetings, I became a woman. When I first saw the blood, I had been horrified--but my mother was quick to explain that it was natural. She said that I was now a woman, a wonderful thing, really--but a thing that came with obligations. She told me that I could no longer have the impromptu ‘sleepovers’ with Nikolai unless he ordered it. I told her he’s never ordered me to do anything for him.

She didn’t ease, something in her had started to become nervous again. My mother had recently started to act the way she did when Nikolai and I first became friends. I didn’t want to fall asleep in Nikolai’s bed while I was bleeding, but I didn’t want to never have another sleepover with him again. Especially not when she refused to explain why being a woman changed so much.

I had decided to avoid Nikolai as much as possible until the sting of my mother’s new rule faded. Unfortunately, that night Nikolai was extra talkative--excited as he insisted I stay for a little longer. Soon, I found his familiar good naturedness melting away my nerves and before I knew it I was laughing in the middle of the night. When my eyelids started to feel heavy, I had moved from the chair, ready to head back to my room.

Nikolai had looked at me oddly before he asked why would I leave so late when it would be easier for me to just sleepover? It was an innocent question, he did not know about my change and I had wanted to keep it that way.

I tried playing coy, but Nikolai has always had a talent for getting around my better judgement. I don’t recall exactly how it happened, but I remember him standing in front of me. It was the first time I noticed how much had actually changed over the years--he was now taller than me for the first time in his life. His hair had started to grow a little longer, golden and soft-looking--and his face seemed much more angular. But he had not lost his boyish charm.

“Y/n?” My name fell softly from his lips, and that was the first time I had ever noted the fullness of them. I didn’t understand why I considered that something worth noting. “Did I do something to make you mad at me?”

Perhaps I had been a little curt--nerves and hormones had left me not feeling like myself. I didn’t tell him about the bleeding, I couldn’t. That became the second secret I kept from him--but I did tell him that my mother had told me I was a woman now, and that women can’t have sleepovers. Not with those of the opposite gender. I made no effort to hide my confusion because I expected him to be as perplexed as I was. But he was not confused--in fact, he had the audacity to laugh. My face flushed, but I did not know why.

“Why is that funny?” Maybe he thought I was still too much of a child to be considered a woman. I assumed it a fair assumption, I had not grown the way he had--my shoulders had not become sturdier and I had not become particularly broader. Still, I would rather melt into the floor than tell him about the reason my mother now considered me a woman. “My mother did say that, and I don’t know what being a ‘woman’ has to do with staying in your room at night.” Something strange had crossed over his features then, something much more brooding than I was used to.

I had blinked at him as unexplained nerves pooled in my stomach. Perhaps that look would have been enough to keep me silent if he had managed to not grin. That self-assured grin that had always challenged me. “Well since you know everything about my mother now, maybe you can tell me why she’s been acting strange. She’s starting to act the way she did when we first became friends.” I expected him to at least pretend to be worried. Perhaps his parents had spoken to her and had mentioned wanting our friendship to end. But his grin had only grown. Pride left me angry. “She did say that I could stay if you ordered it--but I’m glad you’ve never ordered me to do anything, so I can leave right now because you’re acting as odd as her. I don’t understand what you could find funny about our friendship ending.”

He had stopped me from storming out of his room by placing one hand on the wall between me and the door. “Y/n, don’t be cross--I’ll explain it all, I promise.” Angry pride made me want to storm away from him, but curiosity and something unknown and warm kept me in place. “Do you remember when we read the play about the rival families, how the two main characters had kissed?”

I remembered that part of the play especially well. The concept of kissing so casually, outside of marriage, had been jarring to me. “Yes.”

“Now that we’re older, your mother must be worried that we might do that.” He paused before leaning against the arm he placed on the wall to keep me from leaving a little more. “Kiss.”

The clarification was not needed--in that brief pause, I had allowed myself to imagine no distance between our lips. Something in me burned with embarrassment when I realized that some part of me found the thought appealing. The only thing I wanted in that moment was assurance that Nikolai would never know I felt that. That was my third secret, and the weight of it was heavy against my chest.

Still, though, all of my confusion had not yet left. “Is there much harm in a kiss?”

The question had left an odd smile on his lips. “There’s potential harm in what it could lead to for the woman, but not so much for the man.” He exhaled slowly as my face tensed. He could always read me too well because he was quick to add, “What it could lead to isn’t a bad thing, it’s meant to be pleasurable, but it’s serious.” I did not understand, but a part of me was starting to grow okay with that. Nikolai’s voice had started to become lower than ever, and his gaze remained tense. Perhaps if I accepted the confusion for now, things could go back to normal. If the conversation ended, I could stop thinking of his lips and his hands and what it would mean for them to touch me. “It’s considered a vice, like drinking or gambling.” The additional comment helped more than it should have. A vice--not scary and not painful, but not something to indulge in. That’s enough explanation for now. “If you want to know, I won’t deny you.”

I appreciated the offer tremendously. The vice that comes after kissing is clearly something that’s been intentionally kept from me. It’s something he was privy to that I was not, and he offered it to me like so much else. But if knowledge that my mother feared us kissing made me think of his lips, then I doubted I could handle knowing what comes after kissing.

“I’ll let you know when I want to know, but I appreciate the offer.” It felt like a fair response. His snarky grin came back immediately. Irritation rooted itself in my stomach. I hated not knowing more than him for once, but I still had one question I could not relinquish. “But what does that vice have to do with orders?”

At that, his smugness faltered. “It’s not unheard of, for princes and handmaids--for a prince to obligate a handmaid in order to fulfill his vice. Though many handmaids fill the vice of their own will for benefits.

The explanation left him like a confession. I didn’t understand his hesitance--it’s not like he’d ever make me do anything I didn’t want to do. Even when I worked, he was hesitant to ask me to go out of my way to bring him a glass of water. And I couldn’t imagine gaining anything from offering Nikolai something I didn’t really understand. I wasn’t naive to the fact that my life had more privileges than many palace servants. “Oh.”

His eyes hardened. “You know I’d never--”

“I know.” It was finally easy to smile again. “I never thought otherwise.” Something in him seemed to ease at that, his eyes went from hard to warm in less than a second.

I had no more questions for him and I was also no longer a flight risk, but Nikolai did not move. He did not step back to create a more appropriate distance and he did not drop his arm. His gaze, however, did move--dropping downwards, and slightly away from my eyes. I did the same, my eyes falling to his lips.

The silence between us began to make me feel like something in me was in danger of overflowing. “Then I guess my mother is once again worrying for no reason.” Strangely, I did not feel the need to feel embarrassed about staring at his lips. “Because I would never particularly want to kiss you, Nikolai Lantsov.”

The comment was meant to be teasing, a joke to clear away unknown tension. I should have known better than to challenge his pride because he instinctually moved his hand off the wall and beneath my chin. I did not flinch when he tilted my head upwards slightly with his fingers. “I could get you to want to kiss me if I wanted to.”

Three secrets in one night. I did not think I could bear a fourth one. “Hm…” The ground we treaded on felt unstable, but something in me trusted Nikolai to not let me falter. “I should--I should go before I give my mother anymore cause to worry.”

His fingers had brushed down my chin easily as he dropped his hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

And that he did. The days passed without mention of the last time he asked me to sleepover. It was as if nothing had changed except now I found myself noting things I most definitely did not want to note. These didn’t feel like individual secrets because it felt easy to group each admirational thought into one secret. Soon, that became my new normal--easy banter, easy touches of hands, and easy yet silent admirations of his beauty.

I never wandered too hard about what the vice that kissing can lead to entailed. I didn't particularly want to know, but knowing that I could ask Nikolai at any time brought a sense of security to me. But besides that, I never thought of that conversation until the day I was asked to look for Nikolai because he was late for dinner.

That in itself was odd, most of the time when Nikolai was late it was because he was with you. I checked his room, two other rooms he was known to frequent, and then finally the library. First, I noticed a handmaid two years older than me. I was finally at an age when one begins to compare their beauty to those around them, and I recognized the girl as gorgeous. She was better endowed than me, physically, and she always seemed fun. And then I noticed Nikolai, standing closer to her than I’ve ever seen him stand to anyone. His expression was serious as the girl giggled.

Nikolai’s expression shifted from tense to shocked when he saw me. “Y/n.”

It took me a moment longer than it should have to realize what I had interrupted. Guilt and jealousy were quick to twist in my stomach. “Dinner--your parents sent me to look for you.”

He was quick to walk around the girl, who was quick to glare at me. I attempted to disappear down the hall after mumbling a quick apology, but Nikolai was faster than me.

“Y/n,” he did not hesitate to grab my wrist.

It shouldn’t have irked me the way it did, after all, neither of us had ever really hesitated to touch each other. I had always reached for him when I wanted him, and he had done the same. But the thought of the same hands that touched the most beautiful girl I had ever seen on me left me bitter in a way I didn’t understand.

Still, I pushed through all of that. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything, your mother asked me to look for you because she assumed you’d be with me when you were late to dinner. I didn’t think that there’d be--”

“You didn’t interrupt anything.” The words came out flat as his eyes took on the same quality they did the night he explained my mother’s concern to me. “Valaria wishes there was something to interrupt, but there wasn’t.”

Oh. I refused to let the correction inflate me. “Would you like me to not come to your room tonight?”

The offer felt awkward to make. “No,” the answer came quickly, “In fact, go there now--I want to see you right after dinner. I’ve missed you today.” The instruction left my face feeling warm. “We could read an extra chapter of our book if you’d like.”

Despite myself, I grinned. “Yes.”

“Looking forward to it.”

True to his word, Nikolai was quick to return to his room. He had come back to me eagerly, going out of his way to squeeze my shoulder as he entered the room.

I opened the book to the chapter we had left off on, but before I could start reading, Nikolai stopped me. “Sit next to me?”

The question came softly. It had been some time since we sat next to each other on his bed. Still, I moved off of the chair and to his bed. Something in me longed for the familiar closeness of childhood. I allowed him to play with my fingers as I read.

“You know you could take one night off from me if you wanted to.” The admission left me softly, part of unsure if he was still paying attention to my words. “She was pretty, it wouldn’t have hurt my feelings if you told me you wanted me to not come tonight.”

Nikolai exhaled easily, squeezing my fingers once. “I said I wanted to see you and I meant it.”

It took all of my energy to push past the way his words made my stomach leap. “In general, if you ever--”

Nikolai cut me off by laying his head on my lap the way he used to. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” It was the first time in years that he spoke to me in a way that acknowledged his authority. “Keep reading please.”

And that was the last time we had ever mentioned other handmaids in that context. The fifth secret I ever kept from him was the way I worried that one day that would change.

--

The door creaks open while I’m in the middle of fluffing an already pristine pillow. Nikolai steps into the room, but I continue to work.

“Darling,” he breathes too easily, “Today has been painful.” I straighten, looking at him as casually as I can manage. “And now I have to deal with you being mad at me.”

Damn him and his ability to read me with one look. “I’m not mad.”

“You know you can’t lie to me,” he sighs, stepping forward, “We’ve known each other too long for that.”

I press my lips together, irrational anger pushing itself into me at an odd angle. “We’ve also known each other too long to keep secrets.”

His eyebrows draw together, a look so quizzical I’m reminded of our schooling days. “What secrets have I kept from you?”

Mentioning that had been a mistake. I exhale as flatly as possible. “I shouldn’t have mentioned it.” My dismissal only has Nikolai’s expression hardening. I drop my gaze. “Unless you need something, I’m retiring my services for the evening.”

I take a reluctant step towards the door, eyes attached to the floor. “Y/n,” his voice is gentle. “What is it?”

“It’s nothing, I’m just tired.” Please let that be at least somewhat believable. “I’m sure I’ll feel more like myself in the morning.” I take another step, a little more assured. Nikolai’s hand is on my shoulder before I can escape. “Nikolai--”

“Y/n,” his voice is that of velvet, “I can’t have you be mad at me. Not now.”

Sighing, I meet his gaze. The tiredness I see behind his eyes is almost enough to chase away my nerve. What I’d give to be able to melt into our familiar routine. “Then you should have told me you were almost engaged to a literal Saint--the same literal Saint who’s one of my closest friends.”

Nikolai’s expression shifts as his hand drops from my shoulder slowly, fingers brushing down my arm before he finally intertwines our fingers. I bite my tongue to avoid squeezing his hand, but I don’t move to separate us either. He studies me silently, eyebrows drawn together. The longer he stares, the more whatever turmoil he’s experiencing seems to dissipate. After a minute of silence, I can read his expression perfectly. His lips are pressed together in that coy way--the way he only looks when he’s suppressing a smile.

I loathe him for it. “Nikolai Lantsov, don’t you dare laugh--not after what you did. Do you have any idea what it felt like to have Alina casually mention the fact that you almost married her casually? Like that was common knowledge to everyone but me?”

My words break away the last of his self control. He grins, flashing his annoyingly perfect teeth. “Do you have any idea what it feels like for me to want nothing more than to see you and then you let me believe something may actually be wrong when the only issue is your jealousy?”

The amusement in his tone is like poison to me. I find the strength to jerk my hand away from him. “I am not jealous.” He laughs; I am further enraged. “I am not.” The genuineness of my anger must finally register on some level, because he tries to suppress his smile. “I have every right to be mad at my best friend for not telling me that he was almost married.”

“We didn’t exactly come close,” he manages, expression still much too light for my taste. “I’m glad for Alina’s sake, I’m not sure being a Saint would be enough to protect her.”

He is infuriating. “I’m not sure anything you have will be enough to protect you.”

Something in his gaze shifts, softening the tilt of his mouth. “I don’t doubt that.”

I don’t know what I expected from him--but not this. I thought he’d be at least somewhat apologetic. “You should have told me.”

“I would have if I felt it was significant.”

“I’m your best friend--your marriage is significant to me. And even though it’s not like you’re engaged to her right now, you should have told me. You know I talk to Alina all the time.”

He sighs once, a hint of apology threatening to ghost over his eyes. “If I knew not knowing would have upset you so much I would have told you. I was--I was just so excited to be around you again I didn’t see much relevance in anything that didn’t involve you.”

The intensity that Nikolai regards me with is enough to wither all of my fury. But without my anger, I am left spiraling in emotion that I’ve been pushing against for years. My mother’s warning about relationships with those above us rings in my ears--sharp and headache inducing. I am still when he reaches for my hand again, but I do no allow myself to return the gentle squeeze of his fingers.

“I’m not sure much outside of you has significance.” He’s giving me a look I am familiar with. A look he often uses to chase away my anger.

Without my anger, I have nothing to keep me from melting into him, indulging in his presence fully. It’s so easy with him and I blinded myself to the danger of that. He may not be marrying Alina, but one day he will marry someone. A person worthy of his status--and what would I be left doing? Washing their laundry? Tearing up when I dusted the library and came across a book we had read together? Enough damage has already been done--I need to cut myself with this blade now in hopes of making sure I can one day recover.

He will get married one day, and nothing will be the same. And that’s a good thing--he deserves the love of a princess or queen. I want his happiness, even if it’s not with me. But some vindictive part of me hopes that some part of him will miss me. That some part of him will be dulled without me.

I’m a fool--he will remember me as the handmaid from his youth. The girl who made him laugh once or twice before he grew up. I force my hand out of his grasp. “You can’t win me over with words every time.” I need to get out of here before he says something that makes me lose all resolve. “Tomorrow morning I’ll be here to prepare you for breakfast.”

“Y/n.”

I step forward, refusing to look at him. “Goodnight.”

He sighs, his hand quick to grab my arm. Before I can question him I feel myself pulled back. I expect him to pull me just close enough so that I have to meet his gaze. He continues, pulling me sharply before placing a quick hand on my shoulder, forcing me down. My back hits his bed.

I sit up as soon as the reality of what just happened seeps into my mind. “Nikolai, what in the Saints--”

“If you’re going to act like a child, I’m going to treat you like one.”

I scoff, thoughts of escaping him put on hold by the principle of pride. Fine. I’ll beat him one last time, and then I’ll let us separate. I shove him. He laughs--of course this is funny to him. He got to keep fighting past the age of about eleven. His laughter adds to my anger, I move to shove him again, but he catches my wrist easily. I struggle against his hold, shoving him a third time with my still free hand. He pushes me slightly. That’s all it takes to unleash familiar habits.

Our small fight is hardly fair. He has all the advantage--more training, and he’s standing above me. When I finally make a move that might give me some success, Nikolai leans forward. He practically tackles me, his weight forcing me flat against the bed.

I move an arm, ready to push him off of me. Nikolai snags my wrists, holding them above my head. “This means I win.” I roll my eyes, anger returning.

“Let me go.”

He sighs tiredly, but the smugness radiating off of him is suffocating. “Admit that you were jealous.”

There are a lot of things I am willing to do for him--but never that. I cannot give him the one separation I still have. “I wasn’t.”

“Then why are you mad?”

I press my lips together. “I told you--”

“Do you really think you could lie to me?”

“You don’t know me that well.”

Nikolai moves his freehand, touching my chin as a way to ask me to look at him. I meet his gaze hesitantly. “Yes, I do, and that’s never bothered you before but it does now.”

Maybe this is a conversation better had bluntly. “It bothers me now because you’re too old to hold onto the daughter of a palace handmaid and I’m too old to pretend that our different statuses don’t matter.”

“Y/n,” he breathes, “Nothing’s changed. Status didn’t matter to me when we were children, and it doesn’t matter to me now.”

“You can afford to say things like that.”

“What good is my title if it means I can’t,” he pauses, eyes hesitant, “If I can’t keep things the same between us?”

I smile, the sadness of the look weighs on me and I can’t even see it. “Nikolai, you always knew things would change.”

“No, I--”

“You can’t tell me you think your future wife would like you having such a close relationship with a handmaid.” I press my lips together. “One day you’ll fall in love and get married and you’ll want me to leave your bedchamber as soon as dinner is over because you’ll be eager to spend time with your wife.” His gaze hardens. “And that’s not a bad thing. It’s actually a really good thi--”

The last syllable of my sentence dies in my throat. Nikolai, who must be possessed by something, leans down and presses his lips against mine. I beg myself to resist, but his gentleness is everything I’ve ever wanted. He releases my hands in favor of holding my face. That’s all it takes--my hands move without my permission, into his hair--pulling him closer to me. What am I doing? I’m insane. Placing my hands on his chest cautiously, I push just slightly. He’s quick to obey, pulling away while allowing his teeth to brush against my bottom lip.

I gape at him--taking in his now slightly swollen lips. “Nikolai.” He can’t do this to me. We’re friends. Despite the fact that I’ve loved him more than I should--we’re friends. “You’re being extremely unfair.”

He draws his eyebrows together, sitting up quickly and moving off of me. “I’m being unfair? I have spent my entire life loving y--”

I sit up, furious in a new way. “You have not!” This is the dumbest I have ever been. I move to stand, still feeling the softness of his lips against mine.

“Your tooth fell out.” The sharpness of his words forces me to still.

“What?”

I can’t bring myself to turn and look at him, but I’ve always been able to feel any heaviness he bears. The weight of it leaves little room for air in my lungs. “You were ten. I told you ‘girls couldn’t fight’ so you punched me in the face. That was the first time we ever fought--I didn’t mean to hit you in the face, but you moved. You moved and I hit you in the mouth and your last baby tooth fell out. I expected you to cry or get angry, but you just blinked at me and laughed. You were happy to lose your last baby tooth because it meant you were grown up. And then you smiled and asked me if you looked older. If anything, the gap in your smile made you look younger but I told you that you looked like a grown-up because I wanted you to keep smiling. Because your smile made me feel like I won something.” I turn on my heels, but I cannot meet his gaze. “That was the moment I fell in love with you--so don’t tell me I haven’t spent my entire life loving you.”

The weight of his words is harder to survive against than the heaviness of his feelings. “Nikolai, you know we can’t ever be together--”

“Why not?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know,” I manage, voice low, “You almost married the Sun Summoner--”

“That was political--”

“Exactly, your marriage is meant to be political, and if it happens to be out of love--which is what I hope you get, because it is what you deserve--it will be to someone of status.”

Nikolai stands, the movement is that of a king, not the boy I know. “I do not want status or to love someone else--I want you.”

“I can’t take that from you--”

“You can’t take anything from me because I’ve already given it all to you.”

I press my lips together, heart tearing for him. “I love you too much to ruin you.”

My words seem to snap something in him because his eyes darken, the way he watches me adjusting accordingly. “You can’t ruin something that’s always been yours.”

I let myself smile. At him. At his words. At the foolish hope the child in me has clung to after all of these years. I reach for him thoughtlessly, because I have the right to. Because I’ve always had the right to. He’s quick to respond, kissing me with much more security than before.

This time, he pulls away of his own regard. “You still haven’t admitted that you were jealous.”

His teasing smugness isn’t as sour to me anymore. “I wasn’t.”

Nikolai pulls me towards him easily, lips threatening to brush against me, warm breath against my face. “Are you sure, darling? You were awfully quick to claim what’s yours.”

I roll my eyes, grinning so widely I’m surprised my face doesn’t yet hurt. “You’re the one that fell for a ten-year-old girl with a bloody mouth.”

When he smiles back at me, he places a hand on my hip, pulling me forward slightly. “That I did.” He pulls me forward slightly. "Does this mean you can sleep in here again?"

"If anything, this is more reason for me to sleep in another room." He rolls his eyes, pulling me even closer. "But I won't tell if you don't."

Nikolai leans forward, pressing his lips to my forehead. "Deal."

tags: @deardiarystuff @theincredibledeadlyviper, @grishaverse7 @benbarnes-supremacy  @tranquilitymoon @kaitlyn2907 @lunamyangel @christinawxxx @deceivedeer @real-mbappe @tonks33