#(this was supposed to be written last month but life (tm) got in the way)

[techycatartist]

For the first time in over a year, the sound of a hydraulically-powered launch rang out across Knott’s Berry Farm.

Ka pulled Xcelerator in for a tight embrace.

“Sorry I couldn’t make it here earlier, the flight got delayed a few hours…”

“Hey, there’s no need to apologize-- if there’s one thing I won’t fault anyone for, it’s not showing up on time…”

In typical Intamin fashion, “Xcel” missed its initially-scheduled reopening because the coaster needed more time to “wake up”. But once it did…it went down for technical issues shortly after. Regardless, Xcelerator was now operational for the foreseeable future.

“Apparently, I was supposed to re-open like…two-ish months ago. But allegedly something broke when they were testing my coaster and so Knott’s had to place an order for ANOTHER new part. Good thing it didn’t take as long, because it’s clear that I’ve missed A LOT of stuff. I mean…Cedar Fair and Six Flags are MERGING?! Have I woken up in some kind of alternate dimension?”

“No, no…this is our usual reality. It’s just that we’re now faced with the prospect of one company trying to deal with twenty-seven amusement parks. In my eyes, it’s only a matter of time before they start putting some of them up for sale. I can only hope that the parks that do find themselves in this situation can find a new operator…”

Following Xcel, Ka re-acquainted himself with the other Coasterdroids that called Knott’s their home. In Xcel’s absence, GhostRider had shifted their role as the sole “park leader”, though the two had been co-leaders ever since Montezooma passed the (metaphorical) baton to Xcel back in 2002.

Of course, a trip to the birthplace of the Boysenberry couldn’t be complete without indulging in one of the many treats offered by Knott’s that incorporated it into their recipe.

“Call it basic, but this berry was one of the things I missed the most. Well, that and Cordelia’s fried chicken. There’s a reason why we still serve it all these decades later…”

“Given that I was re-acquainted with it a few hours ago, I have to wholeheartedly agree”.

The rest of the afternoon was spent right at their coaster’s station; Xcel talked to their other cousins via video call, Ka occasionally adding to the conversation. It all happened as dozens of humans moved in and out of the vicinity, completely unaware of the pair’s presence.

“…Man, I didn’t expect to see Storm Runner break down like that. Emotionally, I mean”.

“While this may be because of our more frequent contact, I believe that they had missed you the most out of all of us. Given what they’ve been through, it must be a relief that you were just as they had remembered…”

This seemed to shift the mood of the conversation.

“Oh, right. I completely forgot. Wildcat’s Revenge is an entirely different Coasterdroid now”.

“They opened back in June, and yet their parkmates are still keeping Wildcat’s Revenge in the dark about it”.

“I can’t imagine being in their shoes— realizing that you took someone’s place, from someone who was never offering up their spot. But I don’t have to imagine how it feels to lose someone when their coaster’s still around…or at least part of it is”.

A plain, brown construction wall blocked entrance to anyone who wasn’t allowed to be there.

“When I woke up this morning, I noticed that Timberline wasn’t with the others. Turns out they had passed away a few months ago. Back in July, GhostRider woke up one day to find their coaster walled off— and it was completely demolished two weeks later”.

Xcel glanced down at the concrete, misplaced guilt creeping back into their soul.

“I know…I know. We’re not supposed to last forever. Tim’s manufacturer has been defunct for decades now. Their coaster was far from Knott’s star attraction— It was only a matter of time. But if Silver Dollar City can give a season’s notice for Fire In The Hole, what’s stopping other parks from following in their example? Is it because it was a “kiddy” coaster, and therefore didn’t deserve the park’s attention? I couldn’t help but be blindsided due to my situation, but why would you put my family through that?”

“It seems that Fire In The Hole is an exception to the norm, sadly. While some coasters may show their decline plainly, others are caught off-guard by their closure. Timberline may have been approaching an inoperable state, but if it wasn’t impossible to keep them around, they should have at least made it to New Year’s”.

“I can only hope that we’re welcoming someone else into our family next year; It’s the only thing that would make this less painful. But if Kings Island is still waiting for a Vortex successor, maybe I’m giving Cedar Fair— or the amalgamated “Six Flags”— too much credit. Unfortunately, Tim’s not the only one we’re missing around here…”

Montezooma’s loop-less structure stood above the two, seemingly abandoned.

“Monty should’ve been back by now. Everything else had been fixed up for the summer, but it’s almost 2024 and the only thing we have are their spikes. You probably know this already, but rumor has it that Knotts realized that KumbaK was the wrong choice— but by the time they figured it out, something had gone terribly wrong. Not the first time this has happened to Knott’s, though at least Windjammer…operated. Not consistently, mind you, but it was there for three years until Knotts had had enough and sued TOGO…”

Something about Xcel’s recount had struck a chord in Ka, though not in a good way.

“…Though it seems like money is the real issue here, because if they weren’t listening to their wallets, maybe we could’ve had Gerstlaurer handle the refurbishment. Y’know…the company that was FOUNDED by a former Schwarzkopf employee?”

“They had also handled Sooperdooperlooper’s new trains and Psyke Underground, if I recall”.

“Even better! They have prior experience working with Schwarzkopf’s coasters. But I guess KumaK's offer was too good to refuse…”

There was something else that came to Ka’s mind; a rumor that Zamperla had offered a multi-ride “package deal” to Cedar Fair. If true, it was the reason why Carowinds got a set of new flat rides this year. It was the reason why Cedar Point had installed Wild Mouse for their new “Boardwalk” section.

It was the reason why they were in charge of Top Thrill 2, instead of Intamin.

Though, a good price was not the only factor at hand.

Cedar Fair, perhaps more than any supposed discord between park and manufacturer, had become entirely disinterested in dealing with Intamin.

But Ka had hoped that the two would’ve “buried the hatchet” by now.

Instead, the reins were handed over to a manufacturer—while competent in their own right—had never taken on a project of this scale before.

“But even if they sue KumbaK, even if they win…I don’t think they can bring Monty back, Ka. I mean…the loop is gone-- and it was allegedly a complete mistake on the contractor’s part. Worse, they may have also damaged the foundation beyond repair. They may be able to make a new loop, but if they don’t have any strong ground to put it on, why would they even bother…”

“You recognize that these are all rumors, right? It’s not wise to assume all of that is true, or if any of it was in the first place”.

“It’s hard to ignore them when Knott’s has said nothing about it, and if all of that isn’t the reason why their coaster is half-demolished, then what is?”

Xcel’s composure was rapidly degrading.

“If it was going to end up like this, they should’ve just laid Monty to their eternal rest. That way, we would know for sure that they’re gone…!”

At that moment, not providing Xcel with the emotional comfort they needed would be cruel— but Ka’s mind had already latched on to the apparent parallels between Montezooma and TT2.

Frankly, it was odd that Xcel hadn’t noticed it themselves, or even asked Ka about TT2.

So, in that moment, Ka buried his feelings and helped Xcel process their grief.

Realistically, it was likely that the refurbished “MonteZOOMa” would have little memory of their past life, given the drastic changes; this also applied to TT2. Ka was already grappling with the idea that the connection they had with their sibling has been lost to time.

The thing worse than losing his sibling in spirit would be to bear witness to TT2’s failure.

Zamperla had, at the very least, made good on their intention to refurbish it.

But just a little over a month later….

A video had been attached to a text message.

“Their coaster has hit a major milestone. I feel that TT2’s return is imminent…”

On the morning of December 13th, Top Thrill 2 completed its first full-circuit test, accompanied by the sound of their excited parkmates.

To say that Ka was relieved was an understatement.

Given the time difference, Xcel wouldn’t see his message a few hours later— but he knew it would be a great thing to wake up to.

After all, it had only been a couple of days since Knott’s formally announced “Snoopy’s Tenderpaw Twister”, a Zamperla-made kiddy coaster and intended successor to Timberline Twister.

Ka forwarded the footage to Xcel with his own message;

“Good Morning. Millennium sent me this footage today— it has brought hope that I desperately needed, and I think it will also bring some to you”.

[godlesslittlecreatures]

Creature's Petyr x Catelyn Masterlist, Part II

This is Part II of my Petyr x Catelyn Masterlist! This part is slightly more Tumblr-heavy than the last, though, like the last, it’s still mostly AO3 fics.

Pure, shameless smut, not even Smut With Themes. They’re teenagers, what can I tell ya ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

General rejection angst with nice turn of phrase.

Another early read. Beautiful turn of phrase. 

The Story of a Name by Bad_Faery

Probably my favorite of the locked ones, I revisit and even just think about this one regularly. Very interesting to see this relationship from a POV other than the two involved parties, and it's weirdly sweet to see it romanticized the way little Petyr would have wanted it to be.

This entire blog, good lord. I reread these alllllll the time. I’d dare to call the middle a comfort fic. Subby/bottom!Petyr and scar worship TM? My two favorite things! Yes please. Smut warning for the middle one.

I've saved the best for last. I believe I read the English translation on LiveJournal, but I couldn't find it for the life of me. You won't regret pulling Google Translate out for this one. No thoughts, head empty, just this fic, all the time. 

Honorable Mentions:

There Are No Victors Here by dropofrum

Not PxC per se, but there's one scene between the two of them, in the very beginning, that I think about all the time. BEAUTIFUL prose and well worth reading as general GoT fic/if you ship Robb and Marg maybe.

Okay, not PxC at all, but I read this the other night and it made me gush. It's so fucking sweet! Can we, as a fandom, PLEASE get more little!Petyr fluff, pre-Riverrun? There's something especially sweet and heartbreaking about seeing him so innocent. The friendly reminder that the fandom sometimes needs that though the man chose to become evil, he wasn't born that way. One of the two TV projects I'm currently writing and developing features a character named Taleo, it's always cool to see character names in the wild. 

As with the previous installment, I intend for this to be a living document - if you have any recommendations, my inbox is always open. And if any of the original authors of these fics stumble across my humble list, thank you for writing something that made people happy! I hope your skin is clear, your bank account has all the zeroes and commas your heart desires, and you are kissed lovingly and often. Happy reading, my fellow PxC shippers :)

[extasiswings]

What are you reading? It sounds like you're Having A Time(tm)

The Earl Takes All by Lorraine Heath (apparently I’m just leaning into a LH reread era).

The thing you have to understand about Lorraine Heath books is that she can make basically anything work. Some of her stuff is pretty standard (but quality) historical romance, but then the other half of the time she’ll come up with the most batshit plots you’ve ever read and somehow turn them into High Romance(TM). The Earl Takes All is one of the latter category.

Basically, Edward and Albert are identical twins. Albert was born first, so he’s the Earl, and that’s fine with Edward because he never wanted the title. Julia is Albert’s wife—they’re very much in love—but she and Edward have never gotten along well (at least partly because of a moment back during her and Albert’s courtship where Edward stole a kiss in the gardens at a ball, but mostly because they’ve always been attracted to each other and mad about it).

Edward, Albert, and their two best friends have historically gone on grand adventures together. On what is supposed to be Albert’s last one, he is killed—the issue is that Julia is pregnant, and she’s had three prior miscarriages, so in his last moments Albert makes Edward promise to pretend to be him until she gets through her pregnancy safely. Edward, who already blames himself for Albert’s death, agrees, basically taking the position of “it’ll only be for like two months and then I’ll tell her everything/she’ll rightfully despise me forever but at least she’ll be alive and so will her child,” and when he gets back to England pretends that “Edward” was the one who died.

Meanwhile, Julia has been independent and on her own for the first time in her life for four months and kind of got used to it, and chalks up the fact that her “husband” is acting really weird and distant to his absence + grief over “Edward’s” death. But at the same time does start worrying about things like “has he fallen out of love with me”. Edward very quickly gets his ass handed to him by the two people who are in the know as they point out that he has to spend real time with her, but then the more time he spends with her the more he has to acknowledge that he’s falling in love with her (and maybe always has been). And along the same lines, Julia isn’t exactly disappointed by the new and improved version of “Albert” either.

Problem: English law prohibits marrying your brother’s widow. If Julia and Albert’s child is a boy, he would inherit the title and the line of succession would be secure. If not, then Edward is the Earl, and whether or how they could be together gets very messy very quickly…

Anyway, I cannot express enough how much this book Should Not Work, but it’s genuinely stunning and I cried a LOT the first time I read it. LH has written a ton of books but imo this is one of her best. HIGHLY recommend (in like a full out “if you only ever read one LH book, read this one” way).

[mareenavee]

More asks, yes? YES? 💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language 🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change 🤲what do YOU get out of writing? 🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to? And I'm going to invent my own because I want to use an emoji, that's it that's the reason 🐦 What would you like to see MORE of, in the fandoms you're following. Could be writing/art related, could be fandom culture related. What would you like to see exist that doesn't at the moment (or doesn't anymore)?

HELLO! AH. I like that birb emoji :3 Always feel free to make up extra questions 😂Thank you for these!

Here are some Fic Writer's Asks for ya'll!

:D Here's the ask game.

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language?

Well! I can tell you my favorite part of writing a story (or reading one!) is character, followed closely by worldbuilding. But what's most important is a little more difficult to simply pick one thing. A good story has all of these things in spades. A good, solid plot idea. Characters that the author knows well. Clever worldbuilding aspects that make the setting seem real...and a good handle on language and grammar all work together to create a fantastic experience. So there's no most important part -- just that all of it has been given the author's best possible effort (:

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

Ohhh I love this. Mostly because it's such a Thing (tm) in art spaces and is always a topic of conversation. I don't hear about it much for writers, except maybe "voice/tone" in critique circles. All I can say is that style regardless of medium is composed of certain habits the artist incorporates into their work.

For writing, that's going to be specific turns of phrase that tend to be used, perhaps it can be a series of tropes or situations the writer tends to focus on or include in their work. Just like with art, style changes the more skill you gain in your particular craft. Even so, a style may still seem "fixed" to the average reader, even if with each project, you improve and things change to suit.

So my go-to style is usually writing close third limited with rotating pov characters (: But even if I were to say, switch to first person with just one character through the whole story and posted it anonymously there's certain ways that I word things and certain themes that might make a reader be like "Oh this sounds like something Mareena might have written." It's weirdly difficult to describe exactly... but I hope that kind of makes a little sense lol

🤲what do YOU get out of writing?

This is an excellent question, my goodness. Writing fic has been so healing for me for so many reasons. I've had a really rough time the last few years irl with life throwing everything it can at me to try and grind me down. For a bit, it actually did, I suppose, and I'd stopped writing much at all. I hated everything I was producing, if anything at all and it was just a bad time.

Things looked up a little when I decided it didn't matter how good the writing was, but that I got something down on paper. I'd just finished a month-long art challenge for myself (I painted 31 pokemon and it was a lot of fun, even if it wasn't perfect) and I wanted to plan out something similar -- low stakes, just for fun. With the help and encouragement of some of my irl friends, a little help with an idea and MANY MUCH planning, The World on Our Shoulders started as a challenge to write and post daily, damn the consequences.

Since then, I've been revising. Some of my characters (not all just the MC either) have been given some of my problems. I like to write hope into hopeless situations anyway. It's cathartic to see characters experience the same huge emotions I can relate to and make it through to the other side. I get to write that. I get to be in control of the narrative for them, no matter how hard it gets before its resolution. It helps me believe in myself and my own strength, too. It's funny how art does that, I think. (:

🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

Well I suppose the "doesn't do well" part mostly doesn't affect me because of my stance on social media and hustle culture. At the end of the day, it's not about how many comments or kudos or likes my fic/posts get, it's about having fun making the content. I am writing for myself first, in this case, and for the readers second. I am lucky to have a circle of mutuals that I love hearing from regarding fandom things here on tumblr and discord. We support each others' creative endeavors and that is, in my eyes, doing well. If it brings joy, even just to me, it's good. It's doing well. My steps are simply to write, and share. The rest is nothing to worry over.

🐦 What would you like to see MORE of, in the fandoms you're following. Could be writing/art related, could be fandom culture related. What would you like to see exist that doesn't at the moment (or doesn't anymore)?

Well, would I even be me if I didn't say I wanted to see more Teldryn fics in the TES tags (: So yes, that. But more than that, I'm interested in different takes for the character. For any characters, really. I want to see deep stories with lots of different perspectives on lore and the handling of different quests in the game. I want adventure, I want witty dialogue, I want flawed OCs that team up with the coolest NPCs to go out and discover what they're really capable of. If they happen to be Teldryn stories, all the better.

I do want to see people finish some of their WIPS, too. I know that's a big ask. But there's so many on AO3 at least that have been unfinished for months, years even and I want to encourage all those writers and cheerlead their work. I know very well that sometimes life just gets in the way of being able to devote so much time to a project. But I hope everyone who has an unfinished and/or back-burnered TES fic (or any fic, really) sees this and knows I'm rooting for you. Your work is WORTH IT. Your stories matter. (:

So I guess another facet to this answer is, for fandom in general, more cheering each other on. Writers ought to stick together, after all. I'd love to see even more supportive, kind words for each other. More encouragement in general. I see too much silliness and arguments over the details in fandom and the only way to change that is to loudly support each other as often as possible.

[sendme-2hell]

ranking the books I read in may

I’m just gonna do this every month to keep track of what i’m reading

1. Ninefox Gambit - Yoon Ha Lee

Well it took me four months since I first started it and gave up because it was so confusing, but I finally finished! Just goes to show you sometimes have to push through. But seriously it got so good! Do I understand everything about hexarchate structure? no. idk what that is tbh. but character-wise, I loved this book. what is going on with these fictional lesbians and dead people in their brains? idk but I love it

2. Last Night at the Telegraph Club - Malinda Lo

I fell in love with this book. I didn’t have super high expectations but it made me want to read more historical fiction. The way Malinda Lo wove in the intersectional experiences of being an Asian American lesbian in the 1950′s is so well done. plus love a little space talk on the side. 

3. Black Sun - Rebecca Roanhorse

You know how sometimes theres a POV character you don’t like? this book doesn’t have that problem. I am so invested in all the characters and I really need the next book to come out...now. bisexual sea captain mermaid Xalia I am in love with you. 

4. When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain - Nghi Vo

Tor just gave this book away for free which is insane because it’s so good. I sat down to read Empress of Salt and Fortune and didn’t get up before finishing When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain. Good shit. I really liked this one in particular bc it’s really gay of the focus on the changeable nature of storytelling, and how history is altered by who’s telling it. 

5. The Deepwater Bride - Tamsyn Muir 

Um this story is perfect. It’s a short story so idek if I should include it on this list but here were are. It’s just that kind of gay monster story that works so well. Sapphics in a Tamsyn Muir work? it’s more likely than you think.

6. The Lamb will Slaughter the Lion -Margaret Killjoy

speaking of gay monster stories.... Anyway I also read this in one sitting and liked it a lot. It seemed to be about having an anarchist community and that was really interesting to me. I’ll have to read more by the author. 

7. The Empress of Salt and Fortune - Nghi VoI 

Also really enjoyed this one. Also about storytelling and the smaller unheard voices that shape history.  

8. Princess Floralinda and the Forty-Flight Tower - Tamysn Muir

TM is really funny

9. Piranesi - Susannah Clarke

This is one of those books where it’s more exciting in the beginning because it’s a mystery but once you get the explanation it’s disappointing. At the beginning there are so many possibilities and they all exist at the same time. But once you pick on now there’s only one. I compared it to Harrow the Ninth before because you start out having no clue what’s going on and you slowly start to realize you know more than the narrator. But unlike htn, I think once I figured out what was going on it became a lot less exciting. I guess maybe there is a central metaphor I am missing but I wasn’t as taken with the book once everything became more clear. Still beautifully written though.

10. Written in the Stars - Alexandria Bellefleur 

10/10 nice romance. no notes. Okay a few notes, mostly about how Elle has a masters in astronomy (not even sure if you can get that. you would probably be advised to get a masters in astrophysics cause that would actually be helpful) and yet Darcy is supposed to be the ‘math one.’ I don’t think you can get that far is astronomy without doing a little math. 

11. The Dark Tides of Heaven - Neon Yang

I really liked the writing and world building of this book. and how queer it is. I’m excited to read the others in the series. 

12. Elena Ferrante’s Key Works - Tizia De Rogatis

This was a book of critical essays analyzing books by Elena Ferrante (not Lying life of adults cause that hadn’t come out yet). I found some of it really illuminating. Much of it stuff I was just completely missing since I don’t know anything about Italian literature. Don’t love how the author refuses to even mention there could be a queer reading of the Neapolitan Novels. Would be interesting if she was analyzing Lying Life of Adults too since that one is undeniably queer. 

13. A Long Way to a Small Angry Planet

I wanted to like this so much and I did enjoy it a lot. But I think I wanted a bit more conflict. It kinda felt like reading an episodic podcast. I loved all of the characters and it was heartwarming. There were just a lot of really interesting character dynamics and conflicts that I wanted to be expanded but they were just cleared up very quickly.

14. Silk & Steel - a queer speculative adventure anthology - multiple authors

There were quite a few stories I really liked in this anthology. And a lot that I thought were very meh. A ton of dueling. One story was transphobic which was bad and super weird to find in a book about sapphics that also included a few stories with well written trans characters. 

15. The Relentless Moon - Mary Robinette Kowal

I truly do not understand why the lady astronaut books are so popular! someone explain it to me!! They literally feel like they were written for my grandma. They attempt to be ‘woke’ by including a very diverse cast of characters. But the author is so bad at characterization that it ends up being a bunch of walking stereotypes. Plus the main characters are still white women. These white women do face sexism but like...the type of sexism that white women in positions of power with powerful husbands would. Which is fine if that was explored but it is NOT. There is really no exploration of sexism or racism other than a few characters being sexist and/or racist and the main white lady saying ‘hey no don’t do that’. In this book the main character is a white woman in the 50′s but luckily she has no learned racism, internalized sexism, or homophobia that she would realistically have at the time. It reads like a ‘woke’ white woman from 2021 with no real understanding of systematic oppression went back in time to scold the people around her. There is no nuance in anything. The main character is introduced as having an eating disorder. That could be interesting but the author is so bad at nuance that it is brought up over and over but serves no real purpose. The main plot is like ‘among us’ on the moon. that should be great, and there were parts that I enjoyed, but mostly this was waaay too long. I read this book because I was reading the books nominated for best novel for the 2021 hugos. The other books in that category are very nuanced and actually looking at systematic discrimination and/or colonialism so reading this in comparison was like reading something by a third grader. I would have nominated The Space Between Worlds instead. That book actually had something to say.  

failed my effort to only read queer books since Elena Ferrante’s key works is low key homophobic (is it homophobic to not talk about how lila and lenu are in love? imo yes) and the relentless moon has only like one mention of a gay couple. But I came close. Better luck next month. for pride month I can do it. 

[watchtower-feed]

Steph’s Promposals TM

Disclaimer: This fic was inspired by Chapter 35 of Tamen De Gushi by Tan Jiu and Tim Drake’s vigilante life ruining his school life in Robin: Wanted. This was supposed to be last week’s fic but it’s wordy... Words: 2,587

     When Tim comes home from one of Wayne Industry’s covert labs, he finds his whole family in his room. They have rummaged through the suits in his closet which are now laid out for viewing on his king-sized mattress. Before he can ponder whether he should ask or just leave, Dick spots him.

     “Tim!” Dick holds up two suits, “All-black dinner suit or grey summer suit?”

     All eyes are on him now and Tim wonders if the family’s invited to the Gazette’s upcoming charity gala next month. But they never prepared for those things, asking for recommendations on suits or dressing each other. Unless it’s for a mission, they never prepare at all.

     “Wouldn’t a white-polo black jacket dinner suit be more appropriate for a gala?” Tim has moved toward his desk to empty the contents of his bag, while his family turned to each other with raised brows.

     Suddenly, Damian scoffs loudly and ceremoniously punches Jason in the arm.

     “Ow!”

     “I told you Drake didn’t know. Pay up.”

     “Tim,” Bruce says softly, “aren’t you going to your prom?”

     Tim’s hand slips from the table. He stays stunned in midair as he repeats Bruce’s question in his head. His last prom is the day after tomorrow but he’s never gone to a single one. So why are they concerned about it now?

     Tim slowly turns around and is almost insulted by the pitying looks his family is giving him. Dick looks like he’s about to cry and Cass smiles at him with sad eyes. Alfred is pressing down the non-existent creases of his jacket. The ends of Jason’s lips are pulled down. Damian’s smirking. And even though Bruce is trying to hold in his reaction, Tim can see the slightest furrow of his usually-apathetic brows. They’re staring at him like he’s dying but he doesn’t know it yet.

     “Why would you assume I’m going?” he asks warily.

     His question only made his family’s expressions graver. Finally, Bruce gives him the deepest sigh Tim has ever heard.

     “Father,” Damian steps forward with a grin on his face. “Allow me.” He takes out a small red automatic umbrella from behind him. “Grayson asked if he could borrow your umbrella this morning and you threw him this.” Damian tosses it to Tim.

     Tim holds it in his hands and vaguely remembers what happened before he left the manor this morning. He’s seen the umbrella before but never used it. He sort of remembers it being a gift from a good friend last year, who also started ignoring him out of the blue.

     “Open it.”

     Tim doesn’t want to take orders from Damian but no one else in his family is speaking up and at this point, Alfred has sat down to brace himself while peering at Tim through folded hands.

     “No. Open it as if it’s raining. At the ceiling. So we can see your reaction.”

     Damian is being especially specific and Jason’s frown has slowly been replaced by an eager smirk. There seem to be some theatrics planned and Tim hasn’t figured out where this is going so he decides to play along.

     He points the umbrella toward the ceiling and pushes the button. There, on the inside of the umbrella, written in black bold letters is the question: Will you go to prom with me?

     Tim’s jaw drops. His wide eyes are punctuating each letter as he reads the message over and over again. No matter how many times he repeats it in his head it’s not changing.

     A flash hits Tim in the face and he glares at Jason who’s laughing silently with his mouth open.

     “Todd, you were moving too much. I should’ve taken it.”

     “No, Dames-- haha-- I got it alright.”

     “Sons. Please.”

     Bruce’s voice drops as he closes his eyes while massaging his temples, unsure which boy he’s most disappointed in at the moment. At this point, Dick has made his way to Tim and clutches his shoulders, fingers pressing desperately, “At least say you remember who it’s from.”

✧ ✧ ✧ 

     It’s the day before prom and just like last year, you don’t have a date. It’s no big deal, really. You had fun with your friends last time. But it’s just that, this time of the year is bringing back awful memories. Maybe you shouldn’t go to school?

     You sigh. There’s still school the next day.

     You get up, get ready, and drag your feet all the way to the front of your school. Your friends greet you near the steps and suddenly thoughts of last year have been forgotten. It’s not like you talk to him anymore. You’ve done a good job of avoiding him and he never made a move to apologize or patch things up with you so… really. It’s no big deal.

     “Isn’t that--”

     “Tim Drake?”

     You didn’t want to look. You weren’t planning to. But you have been staring at him since you walked into the school because Timothy Drake is waiting by your locker. Holding the red umbrella.

     He sees you and it’s too late to turn back. Your friends all know about the failed umbrella and they’re already marching up to him.

     “The audacity.”

     “You’ve got some nerve, rich prick.”

     “Woah,” Tim quickly holds up his hands. Suddenly realizing he’s way over his head. He should’ve accepted Dick’s advice when he offered it last night instead of slamming his door shut on his family. He was embarrassed. But now, he would take Jason’s help with your friends, even if he’ll just end up being a soundboard for their insults.

     “I can explain.”

     Your friends scoff as you slowly walk behind them where you can only see glimpses of Tim’s face.

     “Explain then.”

     “I…” Tim stutters. Then he bows his head slightly and his free hand travels to the back of his neck as he sucks in through his teeth. He sneaks you a crooked smile while his eyebrows try to meet at the center. “I only opened it yesterday…”

     Silence. Incredulous eyes and held breaths. Then a collective groan and one of your friends slaps their forehead.

     Tim nervously chuckles to try lessen the tension, “Actually it was my brother--”

     “Okay. Stop right there,” You’re blushing furiously and you are furious. You rush forward and cover Tim’s mouth with both of your hands. “Please stop.”

     Tim peeks at you and your cheeks heat up at the sudden proximity. You quickly pull back your hand and nudge your head toward the end of the hall. Tim follows you, still clutching the red umbrella in his hand.

     You stop and quickly snatch it from him. When you reach the corner, you wring the umbrella with your hands and refuse to look at him.

     On his part, he doesn’t know what to say. He knows he should apologize but is that enough? It’s been a year. You’ve been mad at him this whole time and he was too clueless to even know why.

     “Clueless is an understatement,” you say.

     Tim gulps as he realizes he’s been speaking his mind. His tendency to mutter his thoughts has always been a nuisance to Jason and he always complains about it. But then again it’s Jason. He thought his brother was just making something up to annoy him about.

     “Is oblivious more accurate?” he teases.

     You turn to him then. Glaring.

     “Not the time. Sorry!” Yeah. Second greatest detective my ass! Tim swallows. Where’s Steph when you need her?

     You sigh. It sounds a lot like Bruce’s from last night. “Tim, we should get to class.”

     “Okay. Okay,” he says in a rush. “I really am sorry. I was an idiot-- am an idiot.” You tap your foot on the tiled floor, not really wanting an apology. All you wanted was his answer. A rejection would’ve been better than this. “So I was wondering if I can make it up to you by taking you to prom this year?” he asks sheepishly.

     The hair on the ends of your skin stand up. It’s not goosebumps or nerves. It’s pure rage. You stomp your foot at Tim, making him jump. “How dare yo-- NO.” You quickly turn and start to walk away but Tim grabs your hand.

     “Y/N, wait--”

     You snap at him, imitating his tone, “ ‘Make it up to you by taking you to prom’ God, Tim! I cannot believe you right now! You don’t ask a girl to prom like it’s some sort of favor!”

     “How…” Tim hesitates, eyes narrows below furrowed brows, “How do I ask a girl to prom?”

     You realize then that Tim isn’t just oblivious. He’s worse than a newborn calf. You slowly brush off his hand. The two of you stand awkwardly in the hallway.

     You sigh for a long time with your hands running down your patience. “Look, Tim,” you start, “I’m not mad.” You stop, puzzled that it’s not a lie. You sigh again, softer this time. “Really. I’m actually a little relieved now that I finally know why you never answered me--”

     “I--”

     You hold up your hand, “So many reasons I came up with on my own. All bad ones. And I was imagining how I would give you such a hard time when you finally apologize.”

     Tim tries to speak again but your gaze has softened and he suddenly doesn’t feel the need to explain. You understand. You’ve always understood him better than anyone. But he hurt your feelings, despite not knowing, and you deserve to be mad at him.

     The bell rings and you wait until the halls have cleared before you continue, “But you know, after a year of not talking, I realized something.” Tim gulps when you look him in the eye. A light blush coats your cheeks. “I miss my friend.”

     Tim stares at you before his lips slowly curl into a small smile.

     You chuckle away the sudden nerves, “I miss my dumb oblivious friend who doesn’t know anything but academics and video games.”

     His voice comes out low and breathless, “Yeah?”

     You finally return his smile. “Yeah.”

✧ ✧ ✧ 

     Steph’s laughter booms loudly over the gunshots on the rooftop. She’s wheezing and Tim is glaring into the distance, but not missing a beat when he sidesteps a thug and slams the barrel of his rifle against his nose.

     “You’re an idiot.”

     “Thank you, Dames. I didn’t just get that from Steph’s obnoxious snorting.”

     “So that’s a yes, right? You’re going to prom?” Dick asks through the comms.

     “Yeah, I guess so.”

     Steph stops abruptly. Cass looms on a gargoyle perched above Tim and Steph, checking for any more movement. When she finds that they’ve subdued every single one, she joins Steph in staring at Tim. There’s a sudden eerie silence throughout all comms, as if the boys have instinctively picked up on the tension. It’s Babs who breaks it. “Steph, do the honor--”

     “How in the holy hell do you figure she said yes to being your prom date? Come on, Timmy. Enlighten us. Please.”

     Tim gulps and suddenly he couldn’t even hear his brothers breathing through the comms. His voice is low when he answers. “She said she missed me--”

     “Because you haven’t hung out for a year!” Steph cuts him off then crosses her arms with a huff. She rapidly taps her feet, daring Tim to answer.     “... She was avoiding me--”

     “Because you didn’t even have the decency to use the umbrella she gave you! Ugh--!” Steph throws her hands up and kicks the ground. “Everyday this past year, I can’t believe my greatest promposal idea was soiled by your cluelessness.”

     Tim’s eyes widens and he shouts indignantly at Steph, “It was your idea? Then why didn’t you just tell me!?”

     “We had a bet going,” Babs interferes. “Nightwing party of three on your left. Robin en route to assist from overhead.”

     “He’s coming in from the ceiling?!”

     “Wait,” Tim cuts in, “Who else knew?” Cass raises her hand when Tim turns to her.

     “Might I remind everyone,” Bruce cuts in through all comms, “that we are on a high stakes mission tonight?”

     “Yes. Best postpone this discussion until tomorrow. Can someone please find out where Red Hood has been taken to?”

     Cass immediately leaps off of her vantage point and leaves Tim and Steph on the rooftop.

     Tim sighs under his breath, “... but prom is tomorrow.”

     Steph comes up behind him and drapes her arm over his shoulders. “You’re so lucky you have me.”

✧ ✧ ✧ 

     You make it through the school day just like any other. It’s even better now that you’re friends with Tim again. You took your shot and you crashed and burned. But at least now you can salvage your friendship.

     Except that prom is tonight. Despite the awful memories, you still want your last prom to be unforgettable. More than half the school already ditched during lunch period. Now you only have a few hours left to get ready.

     “Okay,” Steph whispers into her comms and Cass nods from beside her. “She’s leaving the classroom. Red, make it rain.”

     From the roof, Jason quickly releases the folded firehouse in his grasp and aims it at the sky. The water splits as it comes down and blankets the small entrance of the school with fake rain. Jason grins as he watches high school kids scramble about in search for quick cover.

     You’re watching from the top of the steps, looking down at the people running from the sudden rain. Strange, you think. It’s so bright out.

     “Red 1, did you take Y/N’s umbrella?”

     “Affirmative.”

     Steph watches you rummage through your bag. “Okay. Red 1, go.”

     Dick comes up from behind you, wearing an oversized coat to disguise himself, and opens his red umbrella halfway down the steps. You were going to ask if you could walk with him to the bus stop but the writing on his umbrella suddenly caught your eye. It has your name on it.

     While you watch him walk away, Steph speaks into her comms again. “Red 2, go.”

     Damian clicks his tongue at his codename. He only agreed to assist in this scheme because Steph let him write the next line.

     A child too young to be in high school is also wearing an oversized coat and holding a red umbrella. He opens it at the foot of the steps and stays there. Waiting for you to read what’s written in angry bold letters on his umbrella: I’m sorry I’m a clueless idiot.

     You blink at the words. Stunned. “What’s happening…” you mutter.

     Steph turns to Cass, “Ready, Red 3.” Cass nods and the two of them come up from behind you. Cass opens her red umbrella first: It’s our last prom but my first one...

     “Steph?” you call out.

     Steph gives you a wink before she opens her own red umbrella: … and I want to spend it with you.

     Steph and Cass count to two before they start walking away into the cover of the fake rain over your school.

     You’re about to run after them when Tim suddenly shows up next to you. You’re staring at him with wide eyes that immediately turn to the red umbrella he’s holding in front of you. He unclasps it and opens it over your heads.

     You look up. Inside it says: If you want to.

     Tim takes in a breath before he speaks, “Do you want me?” His voice is low and shaky. “As your date I mean.”

      ✧ Watchtower Masterlist ✧  

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #427

“don’t pray for me when you’re the one enslaved”

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? I wouldn't say anything, I'm pretty sure I'd just break down. Do you play video games? Not really anymore. :/ I probably would, though, if I had the appropriate consoles for games I want. You can only replay PS2 games but so many times before you're tired of them. Do you spend a lot of time with family? No, honestly. Is your house more than two stories tall? It only has one floor. Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I'm not in a relationship, but I have most certainly never hit an s/o, and they've never hit me. I wouldn't tolerate that shit. What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) I'm not. What color is your hairbrush/comb? White. What snacks do you have available in your household atm? Hm. Just some fruity grain and oats bars, as well as cashew ones. We try to keep sweets out of the house. Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? No. Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? Holy fuck yes, she's drop-dead gorgeous. Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? Ha, I'm sure. Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? Some random middle-aged man, like who are you sir. Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? My dad. He can be so rude to people sometimes. When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? Not sure. It's been quite a while. Do you play any games on Facebook? No. What would you like to get a degree in? It'd be nice to get a degree in Arts, but yeah... I'm never going back to school. Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? Pretty much every night. Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? Play a video game. Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Almost without fail. You've got to, it's part of the experience. What genre of films do you like the best? Horror. How many bank accounts do you have? None, actually. Have you ever had the flu? No, thankfully. What is your goal for the next few months? To start getting in shape/losing weight. I seriously hope this gym routine works out. Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? I have seveeeere sleep apnea. It's shocking, I never would've guessed it, though, so the diagnosis (I had a sleep study, so yes, it's legit) was an extreme surprise. I don't snore at all, nor do I like pass out in the middle of something, but I stop breathing A LOT. For a year or two (no, that is not an exaggeration), it caused consistent, horrible, and violent nightmares/terrors. It made sleep frightening to me, and I was never getting a truly restful sleep. Now, I have an APAP mask (like a less extreme version of a CPAP mask) that helps me greatly. I only very rarely am surprised by a more subtle nightmare now. Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. No, thankfully. What are two things that you have no problem paying full price for? Quality tattoos, for one. And maybe uhhh... idk. We're the kind of family that buys off-brand foods and drinks all the time because it's cheaper, so I can't say that. Maybe health care? Like I wouldn't want service from a sketchy dentist or something. Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. Charming and romantic. Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? No. You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? That's hard for me to say. She doesn't seem to like talking about her past very much, because I know it's turbulent with her mother. I would say her being disowned, but I don't know how that *actually* affected her. Maybe it was for the better she wasn't under her mom's authority anymore. Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? I guess my mom, but she's actually smaller than me now. She's lost a lot of weight and is still going at it. Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Not a house, but rather hay rides and those places you just walk through and experience different stuff. They don't scare me at all; I love 'em. Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? No. Which is worse: dusting or mopping? Ugh, mopping. I don't mind dusting. Would you marry somebody who was intensely religious? No. Did you pull a senior prank? No. That shit is so dumb. Did you graduate? High school, yes. Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? No, and I never would. What was the last song you listened to? I'm listening to Lauren Babic and Halocene's cover of "Bleed It Out" by Linkin Park right now. It's great. Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell no. Is fashion one of your interests? No. Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? Hell if I know. Do you care what people think? Way, way more than I should. Is acting something you enjoy? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I feel so stupid. What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I tore a ligament badly in my foot maybe a year and a half ago. I was SO sure it was broken. My mom had to help me walk everywhere, and even when she did, I'd be whimpering and seething. Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? No. Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. Whose house, other than yours and your families', are you most comfortable at? If we're excluding all family, I suppose Sara's? Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? Probably at some point as a kid. Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? I played a lot. The only two I really didn't like were soccer and cheerleading. Did you ever watch the show Full House? Hell yeah, I loved it as a kid. Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? Ha ha y'all know I joke about it, but no, not legitimately. It's not like I know him personally at all, and I'm not chasing him to California either. Just let me dream still lmao. Have you ever burned someone’s picture? No, but I've actually heard it's truly therapeutic and not just for dramatic effect, so I wouldn't be opposed to doing so if you handed me a picture of him and a lighter. What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? I've never hiked before. Would you ever get a lip tattoo? Uh, no. Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? Jason. Do your parents smoke cigarettes? My dad smokes like a chimney and is 100% going to end up with cancer because of it. You should hear his cough. Mom smoked for a very, very brief period before I was born. What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? "Equal in our bones" is on my favorite shirt. Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Certain inverts people are wild enough to get, like giant African centipedes in particular. Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Can't say I care. do you enjoy going through old pictures? Sometimes. Other times, it's too painful. It also depends on the era of the pictures. Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? Ha, no. We all have natural first impressions and things like that that just... happen. What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? Nothing, really... besides just childhood memories that inevitably came. My hometown was dangerous. What’s a movie that you laughed the hardest during? I'm not sure. What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? I want to say Old Yeller, but I'm not sure. What’s your favorite restaurant? Olive Garden and The Cheesecake Factory. Is there a dessert you don’t like? Yeah; I don't like pie, strawberry shortcake, and I know there're others. Favorite album? Ozzy's Black Rain. It was my introduction to metal, so there's nostalgic value there, but I also just LOVE every single song. What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? None. I don't read books for that reason. Underwater or outer space? Both kinda frighten me to a degree, but I find outer space to be way cooler. So many colorrrrrrs. Dogs or cats? Cats. Kittens or puppies? Ugh, both are so cute, but I gotta hand it to kittens. Bird watching or whale watching? Whale watching would blow me away. Whales are such magnificent, awe-inspiring animals. What is your spirit animal? Probably a deer. Skittish, shy, and quiet. What was your best subject in school? English. What was your worst subject in school? Math. What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? You and Jason aren't going to last, hunty. Who is your fashion icon? I don't have one. I wear what I want/what's comfortable. Diamonds or pearls? I think diamonds are a lot prettier. What color dress did you wear to prom? First one was maroon, last one was black. What’s your favorite plot-twist? Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. My jaw actually dropped. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? Yes. Honestly, what’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad? Said things I shouldn't. Honestly, ever made anyone cry when you were mad? Yes. Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? Two weeks ago or something like that. Ever pop someone else’s pimple? OH MY GOD NO alskdfa;wekrwer; Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? No. Who are you closest to? My mom. Have you ever had a bad concert experience? No. Are you currently sad about anything? A number of things. Have you had any form of exercise today? No, but tomorrow is day #2 at the gym! Can you handle blood? Yeah, np. Has any place hired you underage for a job? No. Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? No sir=ee. Are you currently searching for a job? Not anymore, at least not actively. I was going to after TMS, but I'm just... still not ready. Right now, I'm focusing on the gym and getting healthy again, but if the seemingly perfect job comes along, I'm not opposed to taking it up. Does eating breakfast make you sick? No, I've got to have breakfast or else THEN I feel awful.

[belphegor1982]

I'm just imagining a cross-over of two of your interests - Bertie Wooster hanging out with Jonathan Carnahan. I think they would get along well!

:3 

(BERTIE AND THE CARNAHAN SIBS WOULD BE BUDS. More on that later.)

I’d heard of Jeeves and Wooster a bit but never really got into it until last summer, when I basically fell in love with Bertie Wooster, and since The Mummy is one of those few fandoms that’s always in the back of my mind just waiting for an excuse for me to fall back in, I realised at some point that the characters of both fandoms are pretty close in age, or at least the same generation. (And then TM/TMR took over my brain and I put Wodehouse aside for a while.) Evelyn must be about 25 in the first film; there’s 8 years between Rachel Weisz and John Hannah, and she’s two years younger than Brendan Fraser, so in my head the characters’ ages in the first film go thus: Evy, 25; Rick, 27; Jon, 31 (because a 5/6 years’ difference is more fun to play with than 8 years). Which would make Bertie exactly Rick’s age and (again, in my head), Jeeves 6 years older than Bertie.

I was just throwing ideas together and summing up what might come out as vignettes one day in different characters’ points of view, but it got long, so I’m putting it under a cut ^^’ It’s mostly headcanon stuff, anyway.

So. The Carnahans are a moderately respectable family, even if a lot of the upper crust turned their backs on John Carnahan once he married Salwa al-Masri, and Jonathan and Evelyn (respectively 13 and 7) are deemed suitable playmates for 9 year old Bertie Wooster. Bertie is a little baffled by the tiny force of nature that is Evelyn Carnahan, who despite being a tiny slip of a girl with lots of curly hair walks with purpose and self-confidence. (And she can read almost better than he does.) They have themselves a little adventure, and the sibs conclude that Bertie Wooster is a good fellow. As for Bertie, he’s also looking forward to further lessons in picking locks, climbing down drainpipes, and other exciting endeavours Jonathan seems to know a lot about.

At some point he hears Aunt Agatha make… derogatory comments about the siblings and especially their mother, who is a very nice lady, and resolves to keep being friends, because aunts can in fact be wrong, no matter how scary they are.

When Bertie’s parents die, the siblings find a muted sunshine beam that doesn’t look like their Bertie. Jonathan sets out to cheer him up with Shenanigans, and before they know it all three have taken a tumble into the duck pond of Brinkley Court. It’s a warm summer, so they lie on the grass and wait for their clothes to dry, and Evy talks about Duat and the Weighing of Souls while the boys listen. It sounds beautiful and terrible and probably shouldn’t make Bertie feel better, but it does, a bit. Aunt Dahlia is a little horrified at the state of their clothes, though.

Bertie attends Eton, with Jonathan a few years above him, so they don’t actually see much of each other at school. When the war rolls in, Jonathan doesn’t enlist right away (he tries to finish his degree first - and fails) and so spends almost two years (early 1917 to late 1918) on the Western Front. Bertie, as expected of a young man of his class and education, joins up as soon as he turns 18, but just before he’s deployed he’s hit by the Spanish Flu and spends the last months of the war recuperating and stationed in the South of England. He and the Carnahans write to each other as regularly as they can.

When Evy’s and Jonathan’s parents die in a plane crash, they receive a long letter from Bertie. A lot of words are crossed out and corrected, and it’s meandering and sometimes a little nonsensical, but unlike most letters of condolences they received so far it was plainly written by someone who is 1) kind to the very core of his being, and 2) intimately familiar with that kind of grief.

At some point, Aunt Dahlia reasons that since Bertie and the Carnahan girl get along so well, she might make a fine match, and she tries to push them together. Bertie is awkward and low-key terrified, Evy is nerdy and nervous and absolutely unwilling to seriously consider marrying anyone. She ends up swearing solemnly that she’ll never marry Bertie, which he is considerably relieved about, and they part as friends before she and Jonathan leave for Egypt.

But where is Jeeves, you may ask? Well, he enters the picture just after the above paragraph. Which means that one day, a few months after the events of TM, Bertie tells Jeeves about this childhood friend of his who just got married to an American fellow and will be coming for tea to introduce him to Bertie, along with her brother, simply spiffing people, really, can’t wait for you to meet them, old thing.

…Jeeves is not impressed. Mrs O’Connell seems agreeable enough, prim and proper and quite an authority in her field, but her husband’s tie is a little too loose and it’s clear he has no idea how to wear a suit properly. As for her brother, he’s a foppish cad who makes Jeeves itch to count the silver spoons the second he walks out the door. 

Evy, recognising a fellow scholar from unlikely background, had a splendid time talking with him and Bertie, but Rick and Jonathan think Jeeves is stuffy and snobbish.

I think they’re all going to have a little adventure together, possibly with a slight supernatural twist, which will make everyone reconsider bad first impressions:

• From Jeeves’ perspective, Mr O’Connell clearly has more common sense than most of Mr Wooster’s friends and family, which is a refreshing change. As for his deplorable fashion sense (or lack thereof), allowances may be made considering the man’s history. (Though Jeeves privately thinks Mr O’Connell might benefit from having a proper gentleman’s gentleman to guide him down the path of sartorial competence.)

• Jeeves also mellows a little with regard to the Carnahan siblings, especially Jonathan (because he and Evelyn actually got on well enough). It’s transparent that both of them are genuinely fond of Mr Wooster, just as much as he is of them, and - unlike a number of his acquaintances - are just as quick to defend him and come to his rescue as they are to put him into what he calls “the soup” in the first place. 

• It’s also what endears Jeeves to Evy and Jonathan, actually: the lengths this frightfully intelligent man is willing to go to protect the young master and make his life pleasant. They’re both familiar with the concept of service in a way Rick isn’t, and they recognise how Jeeves excels at his job.

• Plus (personal headcanon here) Jonathan, not being adverse to putting the occasional toe - or foot - or his entire person - out of what is legal for two chaps to do together, didn’t miss the way Bertie’s eyes shine when Jeeves is in sight like he’s never seen them shine, how enthusiastic his descriptions of Jeeves’ brilliance, how he’s splendid and grand and a paragon and such a perfect gentleman’s gentleman. Whether Jeeves returns the sentiment, Jonathan has no idea, but he hopes so. Call him sentimental.

• (Rick also noticed, and he’s fairly sure Jeeves does return the sentiment. Not because he knows Bertie, or Jeeves for that matter, but because he saw enough of the world to know what love looks like. He doesn’t say anything, though, because it’s none of his damn business.)

So that’s it for the mo’! I wrote about 800 words of the first vignette, from Bertie’s PoV, before my mind focused on TM and its characters almost exclusively and I lost what little of Wodehouse style I had. Here’s the first paragraph, for anyone still reading this :o)

I don’t know what it is about getting on in years, but I find as they pass that one tends to look back on one’s childhood days with a somewhat fonder eye than one experienced while actually living them. St Whatsit’s summer, halcyon days, as the Bard wrote. Not that I have reached the point my nieces, if ever they should set foot in old Blighty again, might start calling me “aged relative”, as I am sometimes wont to greet my dear old aunt Dahlia with, but some of the misadventures of my mildly misspent youth do seem a lot funnier now than they did at the time. I suppose it’s the same for any and all misadventures, really, since faithful readers might recall that some of the more recent situations this Wooster found himself in are far more ridiculous than letting oneself be trussed up and mock-mummified.

Promising, what? :D Hope I can make something of it.

Thank you for giving me an excuse to be ridiculously wordy ♥

[evening-blossoms]

So um. I'm a total idiot and forgot an entire day of my own challenge. I was gonna keep it that way since nobody had noticed but... that day was something I'd wanted to talk about for a while so...

Welcome to the very late and out-of-schedule day 10 of my SGE Challenge

Characters I would rewrite

Buckle down cause oooooh boy do I have shit to say - and because of this I'll be deviating from what I usually do and write a rant post instead! Given I don't want to make a way too long post, I'll simply go over a brief explanation of why they're in the list and what I'd change.

Kei of Foxwood (tw: drugging mention)

So this fucking asshole here apparently will get a redemption arc uh. I Actually already talked about this in this post I submitted but I will go over it again because it was kinda poorly worded imo (especially because it was written by sleep-deprived me at 3am)

Which is poorly driven given it starts with "Oh No! My beloved Rhian is dead, what shall be of me without my dear?". No. A good redemption arc should start with "Fuck I did something terrible and genuinly regret this and want to work on becoming a better person and fixing the mess I've made." Also, seems like Kei's form of redemption will be death and no, he should live with the consequences of what he's done.

Speaking of which - his redemption will also feel like an insult to the readers because seriously? He's way past redemption point for me now. He already was from QFG when he drugged Dot (which was something quite unecessary and Soman used an Extremely complicated and sensitive topic for the sake of shock value - but that's a whole new rabbit hole I'm not jumping into right now). And in ACOT he follows Rhian's orders which include attacking practically defenseless teenagers

So with that in mind, I'd either have Kei die the piece of shit he is or rewrite his arc from QFG in order to make a good redemption. First, erase that part with Dot and find another way to get to the keys. Again, it was an act that can be considered violence against women written down just for shock value. Given we do not have other scenes with Kei (except for the dungeons one), I'll leave it that for QFG.

In ACOT, start on his very first actual scene - the dinner scene. Have him hesitant on following Rhian's orders there, and perhaps hint it goes a bit deeper than hesitance. Then escalate it to him openly challenging Rhian's orders during that moment before the Blessing. The attack on SGE would be the first moment we see a greater act from him - maybe somehow going behind Rhian's back to stop that attack??? His last scene in the book is during the carriage ride with Sophie - when Kei tells her he's been going behind Rhian's back to stop the attacks he was able to, and knew he had to fix he'd made when he locked Tedros in the dungeons back in QFG. He agrees to help her somehow - but it goes terribly wrong when Japeth survives.

I myself still need to see a bit more how that could be well executed but that's the basic idea - have Kei's actions start from much earlier and have doing the right thing as motivation, not his love for Rhian - if anything, that should be a source of struggle.

Hort of Bloodbrook

This is can be either a rewrite of his own arc or a rewrite of the light he's written in.

He is a Nice Guy tm. Lets not try to pretend he isn't because he is.

He spends the entire first trilogy obssessing over Sophie, and acting entitled to her because he's a guy who's "genuine and truthful" or what so ever. Sure, Sophie might not be a perfect innocent girl and she did treat people who cared for her like shit at times, but that doesn't change the fact she never liked him. And even though she was wrong in parading him around like a "suitor" when trying to win Tedros' attention, she never again makes mention to liking Hort, or wanting to date him, or what so ever, and honestly, good for her! You should never date someone just because they have feelings for you.

Liking someone doesn't make you entitled to having them, and it doesn't make them obligated to like you back. And this what Hort can't understand. And not to mention he acts pretty sexist during the School Years:

"Every time he was free of rivals for Sophie’s attention, they always returned, more meddling than ever. Why couldn’t these toads mind their own business? Or die like Rafal did? True, he’d had Sophie to himself these past six months, but most of that was spent waiting out her I’m-an-Independent-Woman phase..." Quests for Glory, chapter 9: "Who Would Want a Hort?"

And also later during ACOT, in which he treats Nicola pretty badly

“Not bad enough, whatever it is,” Hort’s voice said, hijacking the demon. “He got us into this mess by fawning over Rhian like a lovedrunk girl.”

“Oh, so being a ‘girl’ is an insult now?” Nicola’s voice ripped, the demon suddenly looking animated in agreement. (A Crystal Of Time, chapter 5: Sophie's Choice)

There are other examples but I don't want to digress so this is how Hort is. I'd like to rewrite him into a person who had a immature crush on a girl and bent over backwards to get her attention - all of this a product of his own insecurity - but that grows out of it and in the process, also into a mature person who's confident in himself.

Also, in case someone doesn't understand: the problem isn't a crush. Having crushes is totally normal and ok, and so is not having them! The problem is when your crush over someone becomes nearly obssessive because of your immaturity and inner problems.

And as I was gonna talk about the light Hort's written in: all of this bullshit, and he's written as the nice underdog who we are supposed to root for. Soman keeps romanticizing him and that kind of behavior and that's terrible. So I'd either change Hort's behavior or write him in the light of what it truly is.

Rhian of Foxwood

Honestly? I liked him as a villain. I have no problem with him believing he was doing Good - in fact, I liked it! It's a good contrast to the previous villains, who knew they were Evil, wanted to be this way and took pride in it.

What I would change are just two things: one is that last kiss scene with Sophie during chapter 25 of ACOT, since it was absolute bullshit after all the shit he did to her which I don't feel the need to list - we all know it.

Second thing, I'd have made him a seer! Soman missed a huge potential when he made Rhian a Sader without giving him the seer abilities. That whole "Third Mysterious Pen" deal was unecessary, and it could be replaced by Rhian's visions.

And guys, come on - EVIL SEER IS A DOPE CONCEPT.

Nicola of Woods Beyond

Don't get me wrong, I love Nicola - and this is kind of why she's in this list, actually.

She's an amazing character - bookworm represent! She's also one of the few poc representation this book has, so I like it went to someone as amazing and smart as Nic. 

So for that I think Nicola should have been explored more. She's usually put as background character and only brought up when it's convenient - she's basically plot device. Which sucks because again, she's awesome. I'd have explored her ability to apply what she learns in stories to real-life issues a bit more, and paired her up with Agatha more times! Both are brilliant girls and I feel Agatha was at times dumbed down so Nicola could solve the problems, and honestly, I hate it when a character is dimmed so the other can shine.

So I'd have put them together - Agatha, experienced and quick-thinker, and Nicola, an extremely smart girl who doesn't really have half the experience Agatha has in the Woods. They both learn from each other - it's a deal of teacher (Agatha) learning from the student (Nicola). 

And allow me to push the Nicphie agenda here - I'd totally expand her relation with Sophie - explored their feelings going from mutual hatred to mutual respect to liking each other to very lesbian love. The Best enemies to lovers.

Also, SOMAN WHAT WAS THAT OF CAVING IN THE SCHOOL FOR EVIL AND SADER TELLING THE DEANS TO ACCEPT HER I DEMAND EXPLANATIONS

And lastly I'd remove the Hicola part super unecessary lmao

So that's it! I actually have some more to talk about but I didn't know how to word it properly and I don't want to make a super long post lmao. I might make a part two of this, but separate for the challenge!

I apologize for the disruption in schedule, I legit forgot day 10 lmao. I'll be doing Day 13 tomorrow so hopefully everything will go back to normal!

[wildflowerwattpad0217]

Clary Fray Gets Married. (My First Story On Wattpad) My Reaction After 3 Years.

So This story is going to be deleted from Wattpad on 12/18/2020. Due to how messy the story is. But I don’t reccomend reading it. So if you want to read the mess before then here is the link:

Clary Fray Gets Married

Masterlist

One paragraph is a single chapter

So Maia just got killed and Sebastian is back. That's a cheesy line. How would they be able to invite you to the wedding if they thought you were dead. Not that they would anyway. Clary is sacrificing herself for everyone. All these misspellings though, well it was my first story on here and I never edited it and I wrote it on my phone. That was short af. Well my original word count was 500 but later in the story I am pretty sure I switched it to my current 2000.

The incest plotline though, *throws up* I was trying to continue the idea of Sebastian thinking that the bloodline had to be pure. And Clary's pregnant. Jace's pov, the language was the worst in this story. Clary pov. Sebastian wants to make another demon child. Trama. Sebastian is a vampire but a new breed. Mark of Cain?

So we are starting this chapter with Trama warnings. Jace is blood thirsty and I don't blame him. This is the cringest this I've ever written and that's saying a lot. Clary made a run to hurt him. It can't be that easy.

Sebastian told Jace that was pregnant. Jace just cut of his head and he's still alive? These 500 word chapter get annoying fast.

Threatening Alec for Magnus to put up wards. That's one way to do it ig. You want the Infernal Cup too? Now he only wants Jace and Clary there.

Not much happened in this chapter but Sebastian raided Clary's closet from the Insitute.

A protective Jocelyn tho. This language is not how I would write this today.

It's like every other word is F*ck. This is so cringey. This is supposed to be first person pov not whatever you wanna call that. So much flopping back and forth between povs and I didn't make the pov change very noticeable either.

Really you're taking his head off again? Well it gave you time to get away ig.

This conversation feels forced. It doesn't flow right.

Clary is insisting on getting married before Sebastian can screw it up any more.

Magnus calling Simon by his actual name??? How did Jace just pop up like that?

What the hell was going on it that small pov with Sebastian and Lilith? "...revealing his father in a new form." Valentine? Wtf? Yeah it is Valentine and he hates what his son did.

Jace and Clary are finally getting married.

Valentine it pissed at Sebastian. Clary thinks it's halirious that he's a downworlder now. Karma is a bitch. Clary really just stabbed him in throat after he offered to help you kill your brother and Lilith?

Now why is Sebastian so worked up over a missing necklace? And Jocelyn just found out about Valentine and she shookth.

Jace has a half sister? And Luke has a niece? I don't remember this plotline but this story was all over the place.

Who is Lilith gonna bring back now? Carmen Herondale, Jace's sister.

Sebastian and Carmen reunited.

Sebastian never wanted this for Carmen? She's made at him but not for the reason you think. He was going to propose to her the night she was killed? Valentine is the reason she's dead? Clary just killed him.

Carmen is a murderer? And she got away.

I didn't even realize Simon didn't go.

Carmen you touch Alex or Max I will kill you.

He gave her the wrong spell thankfully.

Tessa is dead? The author's note was not it.

Even in a shitty fanfic Max is adorable.

Carmen's adoptive mundane father was a gang leader in Paris? What kind of crack was I smoking while writing this?

Simon compared her to Assassin's Creed. Why did Clary just pass out?

So the kid is basically going to be a full blown angel. Interesting. And the last thing she remembers is taking the pregnancy test?

That is some Twilight shit right there.

Aww Alec wants to propose to Magnus.

Her pregnancy is getting intense.

That line is so cringey wtf. Sebastian is back?

So I kinda remember the person who originally raised Lilith but tbh I regret writing Carmen's charcther because the next few chapter don't make any sense.

Clary's eyes changed colors. I really don't remember writing half of this because I was going through some stuff at the time.

The unnecessary pov switch tho. Clary just made a new Rune.

Magnus may have found a way to make Shadowhunters immortal?

Why would you try a rune on a trash can?

So everyone one agreed to going immortal. That would suck. And there was a rune made with the oil based paint Clary used. This is confusing af. I am sorry to anyone who has ever read this.

Max calls Clary, Aunt Clary. Wtf does he have to be so cute?

More Max being adorable.

Alec and Magnus are engaged. This makes me happy. Sebastian projected himself into the Insitute?

New Character is introduced: Emily Starkweather. Hodge's daughter and Lydia Blackwell's half sister and she hates her.

I made Lydia Blackwell very homophobic because I made Emily bi sexual and that's why they hate each other. Emily is traitor. Sebastian loves her? And is cheating on Carmen with her. This is very confusing. Emily is gonna teach Izzy how to cook.

Raphael got her addicted to Yin Fen. I really mixed The show and the book together. This bitch is lying her ass off to them.

Sebastian and Emily are planning to get rid of Carmen.

She's planning on killing so many people and pinning it on them.

Emily has some Trama TM

She is going to kill her mother.

Lowkey think Jace is getting sus of her. Carmen is dead.

They just found out she's a traitor.

Joyce, Luke, Myrse and Robert are all dead wtf and the baby is coming.

Emily has a good reason to trust Sebastian tho. He did save her life.

Lilith thought she was dead? Who do u think rose you from Edom?

They don't know Carmen id dead yet? Alec ripped into Lydia. Compared her to Valentine. Big ope. Emily is the 3rd Angel experiment.

Emily and Sebastian  are planning on kidnapping Lydia. Emily's angel blood is Lucifer's wtf? Emily called her sister a Stupid Ass Bitch and I'm living for it. And she's been kidnapped.

Sebastian just turned her? Ew. The left-handed joke. They summoned Lucifer for some reason.

Emily is absolutely crazy.

So she did kill her mother... I didn't make that very clear. Jace and Alec want them to make Amends so that she doesn't murder Shadowhunters. Sweetie I think it's far too late for that. Lydia is officially dead. How could she be preggers if she's a vampire? And now her mother is still alive? Jocelyn, Luke, Maryse and Robert are alive still too? Emily's mom admitted to everything. I also started going to 2000 word chapters.

Lilith is acting like a bitch, kinda. They are attacking the clave. Lilith summoned a shit ton of demons. The end of the chapter is kinda intense tho.

Raphael? Wtf are you doing here? Hodge?  They are testing by mortal sword. This is kinda confusing. Why was this the most read story on my wattpad before Avenging Riverdale?

Flashback scene to when they first met.

Then there was a short chapter. About a prochey

Time skip. The baby is coming. A blue and a black eye? Sebastian's eyes flickered green? Magnus wants to figure how to bring out the Johnathan in him.

Emily plans on making Sebastian stays Sebastian.

That was a shitty chapter.

And I forgot I discountinted it... Sorry about that.

Overall I am happy I discountinted you. It is a horrible book and I am embarrassed by it to be honest. This is my first book on wattpad so I think it's pretty normal but it wasn't my first piece of fanfic. My first work was on Fanfic.net but has since been deleted by the website. I don't know why it wasn't bad at all it was more fluff than anything. But I have decided that I am going to post this and then I'm going to take down the story in a month. I failed to put trigger warnings, failed to edit (to be fair that was back when I did all of my writing on my phone before I had am actual laptop). But I did have some good ideas when it came to the traitor part and Sebastian finding love and I deem this story on crack. So my final rating is a 2/10.

[yourfandomfriend]

Veiled Finale | Eerie, Indiana Meta

So, I think by now we’re all acquainted with the trope where a fictional character from a tv show suddenly gets thrown into the real world.

It’s a fun way for a show to go meta and let the audience see how their protagonist would take the news that their life is a story, seeing their friends and family acting like the actors who play them, and learning their suffering is for your amusement. So meta, right? Well, it could be even more meta, if you suspect your show is about to go off the air...

Let's put a pin in that and introduce Eerie, Indiana.

** SPOILERS** FOR EERIE, INDIANA ** SPOILERS **

For a lot of people reading this, depending on their age, all they know about Eerie, Indiana is that it was a major inspiration for Gravity Falls -- one lone kid convinced the sleepy town he moved to is the center of weirdness for the entire world. He investigates the paranormal and tries to get the truth out but it just looks to everyone else like he’s not adjusting. The resemblance is... eerie?!

The show had Joe Dante (Duke of Hollywood Weirdness) as it’s creative consultant, directing a couple episodes, too. It was about a kid named Marshall Teller, played by Omri Katz. The great thing about Marshall is that he's a regular kid. He’s sloppy, scrappy, makes bad choices, takes people for granted, has that tween self-consciousness, and thinks he can get something for nothing. All the relatable flaws, but he was basically a good kid. At heart.

His bestie is Simon Holmes (Justin Shenkarow) a nice but lonely latchkey kid a few grades younger than Marshall. Simon doesn’t really believe as much in the paranormal despite it being all around him but Marshall is his only friend, so he kinda just goes along with whatever it takes to keep hanging out with him.

Two normal kids occasionally called on to save the world.

At least, for the first 12 episodes. After that, the show experienced a retool. In case you don’t know quite what that is, it’s exactly what it sounds like. A retool is when a show is altered for various reasons, ranging from bad ratings to wanting to give a breakout character more screen time, all the way to someone at the network trying to turn the show into a vehicle for some pet actor.

EI was a great show but the competition was so stiff, no one watched it in its initial run. It was retooled to add two cool characters to the cast. Sort of.

The first was Radford, owner of the World O' Stuff store, played by a veteran of tv weirdness, John Aston.

The reason why he’s only sort of new is that the show already had a Mr. Radford before the retool. But rather than recasting him with a more established actor and hoping the kids at home wouldn’t notice the difference, they revealed the Radford we’d known up till then was a serial imposter by the name of Fred Suggs, who’d been keeping the real Radford in his basement for six months until he was finally caught. But not for long.

Pretty much.

The second was Dash X, a troublemaking homeless trickster with prematurely grey hair who woke up in Eerie with no memory of who he was and where he came from. A mystery in his own right and possibly the most popular character with the current fandom. This is in no small part due to him being played by Jason Marsden, the teenaged Ted McGinley.

In case you don’t know what a “Ted McGinley” is (this is turning into an answers blog as we speak) it’s when a character actor with a lot of charisma is dumped into an existing show to “spice things up,” usually as a hail mary pass to keep it on the air. As a result, the appearance of a TM in the main cast will usually herald the cancellation of a series or at least a stark decline in quality. The original has come to be seen as a pox on any show.

If one was to check Marsden’s IMDB page in the early-to-mid 90s, once you were done fangirling over him voicing Thackery Binx, Max Goof, and the best version of Peter Pan ever, you’d notice he ended up in quite a few sitcom retools, including The Torkleson’s, Step by Step, and Full House, and it pretty much always guaranteed the last season was on the horizon.

NO! YOU GET AWAY FROM BOY MEETS WORLD YOU ANGEL OF DEATH!

Kidding. It’s actually a compliment to be a TM, since it makes you the Cobra Bubbles of TV Land. The problems are already there if a show starts jumping the shark and guys like Marsden are the ones they call when things go wrong.

So yep, as a die-hard fan of EI, I very much approve of the inclusion of Aston and Marsden to the cast. They made the weirdness hunting more of a team sport and added humor and personality to the show. Okay.

The trouble was, in order to make edgy Dash work, they had to water down Marshall and Simon. Not okay. Marshall went from being a cool yet deeply flawed kid at the center of everything to being a goody-two-shoes who ended up butting heads with Dash and just reacting to the mayhem he created, while Simon went from a kid with a depressed, desperate streak to a cheerful cherub who for some reason really believed Dash was a good guy underneath it all.

As I’m sure you’ve noticed by now, the show was shifting its focus to make Dash the star. Which makes no sense from a creative perspective -- never mind that Marshall was a great protagonist. Even if he wasn’t if you were already gonna change him, why not just make him into whatever you wanted instead of replacing him? Why frame him out of his own show?

“Eventually they wanted to replace [Marshall] with this other character called Dash X. He was actually supposed to take over for Omri Katz. So they decided to do an episode called “Reality Takes a Holiday”, where Omri realizes he’s the star of a TV show.” -- Joe Dante [x]

"Reality Takes a Holiday” was the finale, starring nearly all the cast as warped versions of their real-life selves (designed less to resemble the actors and more to contrast the characters they played) where Joe Dante made a cameo as the director. It was great! Best episode of the show, in my biased opinion. But what Dante failed to mention was the connection between the retool and this episode.

The plot is pretty simple: Marshall’s family wants to take him and Simon out to the movies to have family fun. Simon is thrilled but Marshall is too cool to hang out with his family and uses his calling -- chronicling the paranormal -- as an excuse to bail on everyone. Then he gets that episode’s shooting script in the mail and ends up in the real world, on set, with everyone calling him Omri.

Marshall starts freaking out, as naturally he would, raving about how he and everyone else are their characters but nobody listens to him. They all think he’s lost his chickens over something to do with the show. But what?

Justin: “Stop it, Omri! You’re just mad because Dash is...” Marshall: “What? What are you talking about, Simon?” Justin: “...Nothing, nothing.”

Searching the soundstage for answers, he hears a familiar voice and follows it to the World O’ Stuff set. There he meets one of the only people in this place who knows who they are and who Marshall is, Mr. Radford. For some reason, inside the set is just like it is in Mashall’s world and Radford seems oblivious of the change until he produces a copy of the script. The last few pages are blank and Mashall realizes there must be a writer for all this insanity. José Schaefer. He rushes to find the guy.

But when Mashall finds Schaefer, he’s talking to Dash who also seems to know who Marshall is. And weirdly, no one’s calling him Jason. Apparently, Dash has these great ideas he’s been passing onto the writers for killing off Marshall’s character and not euphemistically. They plan on letting Dash literally gun Mashall down in broad daylight. As long as he stays home from the movies.

So diegetically, Dash is the one who’s responsible for the retool. Up till now, he was an antihero. Amoral in theory but ultimately a sympathetic human being, if not decent. Here he's a full blown psycho villain. So not only does Marshall have to figure out how to change the script, he has to dodge everyone in the studio who wants him to finish his final scenes, including Dash, who has to hunt Marshall down because if “Omri” doesn’t come back, they’re all canceled.

But Marshall somehow manages to shed his opposition long enough to trick  Schaefer‘s secretary into printing new pages, ones where he says yes to movie day and leaves with his family.

Dash tries to stop it, but in this world, he's just told to “clear Omri’s eye-line.” Action is called and Mashall gets his second chance to skip the paranormal for a day and concentrate on what really matters. And Dash, his plan to take over the show foiled, tears his freaky script in half and sulks off. The show ends. Bittersweet.

But if Marshall stops investigating Eerie weirdness, what then? That’s the whole premise of the show. Without it, what’s left? Well, it got canceled so... nothing. It’s hard to say if the show was canceled because this episode was written or if this episode was written because the show was canceled but either way, few series get such a fitting (or meta) end.

[bellarkefanfiction]

For the month of October, Lina got the chance to catch up with @kay-emm-gee, author of Small Favors, The More Things Change, Bedgate and many, many more, which you can find here. 

BFF: Tell us about yourself!

Kayla: Hi, I’m Kayla - twentysomething, from the USA, graduate student in cancer biology. And to keep myself sane from science, I spend a good chunk of my free time watching TV and reading. I adore any type of romance story, and those of the fantasy, sci-fi, and historical genres most of all. And, when I’m too tired to read or write, I’m also an avid knitter! #grandmastatus #proudofit

BFF: When did you start shipping Bellarke?

Kayla: Pretty late compared to most, I think? Not until season 2, even though I loved their dynamic from the beginning. I was intrigued by the idea of shipping them by the end of season 1, but I can’t say I really committed until The Hug^tm from 2x05 (I love that I have to specify which hug now lol) and then they went straight to OTP status from there!

BFF: How long have you been writing fanfiction?

Kayla: Funny enough…I actually wrote fanfiction when I was eight or nine, based on Pony Pals (I was obsessed with horses for many of my younger years), I believe, for a class assignment. So that was technically my start haha – but I guess my first published fanfiction was on FFN for Avatar The Last Airbender, a little piece that was supposed to be a prologue for a longer Zuko/Katara post-series multichapter AU…which I planned out entirely but never wrote (some things never change!). I posted a few other things there (for Smallville, Gossip Girl, The Infernal Devices series) but I was more in a reading stage then and couldn’t get enough of fanfiction (Tempest in A Teacup or Stormbenders, anyone??). I didn’t hit a prolific writing phase until Bellarke! And then the floodgates opened and I couldn’t stop writing, for them or for other ships too.

BFF: Are you a part of any other fandoms?

Kayla: Game of Thrones is something I have gotten into writing for recently, although it’s mostly for rarepair ships, which is strange for me (shameless plug for my sideblog, @winterfellslady). I’m usually very much about the narratively obvious pairings, but the Thrones universe is so expansive that it’s hard not to see so many possibilities. Aside from that, I’ve written here and there for a lot of other fandoms: Teen Wolf, A Court of Thorns & Roses series, From Dusk Till Dawn, The White Princess, The Shannara Chronicles, Reign, & Black Sails.  

BFF: Which of your fics was easiest to write, and why?

Kayla: First one that comes to mind as ‘easiest’ was my Peaky Blinders AU oneshot (Our Glory Days Are Numbered). It was a 3AM fic idea that just would not go away, and so I sat up and wrote it in less than an hour with barely any edits. It was a rare experience of producing something I was super proud of, super quickly. The process is usually much more laborious for me when it comes to fics that I want to stand out. As far as multi-chapters, strangely enough, my first one (Small Favors) was easiest to write? I think it was because I had very concise & defined ideas for each chapter, so it kept it simple and the ideas didn’t run away from me…like they do most times now.

BFF: Which fic did you find most challenging to write?

Kayla: It’s a tie between my modern scientist/lawyer AU i pick my poison (and it’s you) and my modern Sense & Sensibility AU by insensible degrees. The first never sat quite right with me (still doesn’t) because I never felt like the scientist perspective/experience came through smoothly enough. The second was tough because I had to power through writing it in its entirety before posting, which was a resolution for me so I didn’t leave it unfinished, but wow was it difficult. It ended up working, but it took almost a year to write (and honestly, it only got finished because @hawthornewhisperer gave me such good feedback & encouragement along the way so shoutout to her for that!). Even so, it’s probably one of my favorite fics that I’ve ever written.  

BFF: What do you predict will happen in season 5? Especially for our favourite duo?

Kayla: After being separated for six years and not knowing if the other is alive, Bellamy and Clarke are gonna have a lot of baggage to work through. Since I’m always here for the Bellarke Angst, I hope, predict, and expect we’ll get that in boatloads. Also, I don’t necessarily predict this will happen, but I’m interested to see if the Clarke & Madi dynamics mirrors season 1 Bellamy & Octavia at all, and if so, how that plays into Bellamy & Clarke’s dynamic (for better or worse). I’d love to see Bellarke get together on screen, of course, but honestly…I just want them to be each other’s centers again in season 5, that’s really all I ask for!

BFF: Do you have a specific process for your writing?

Kayla: Music is essential – I need thematic/atmospheric music to really get in the groove. Most of my Spotify is playlists for different story ideas actually. Aside from that, nothing too particular. I tend to edit as I go, which isn’t the most effective way to write, but I’m too much of a perfectionist to do proper draft editing.

BFF: Do you have any plans for other fics you’d like to write, if so could you spoil or tease us?

Kayla: Real life has been higher-than-average busy for like a year now, so I can’t find much time to write (and I’m working on Game of Thrones fics when I do find it), but there is one Bellarke fic WIP that is holding my interest right now. It was a request from a follower celebration winner for an Anastasia AU, but I wanted to put a spin on it, so I’m making it steampunk! Honestly, it’s the most inspired I’ve felt for this pairing in ages, which is promising. Here’s hoping the inspiration and motivation stays high!

BFF: What advice would you give novice writers?

Kayla: Keep writing. Even if you hate it now, it’ll make you better. And, later, when you do get better, don’t hate something you wrote early on, especially if you loved it when you wrote it. It’s where you came from, where you started, and it’s proof that practice makes a difference. And while you should mostly write what you want to write, it’s also okay to write for others. Because honestly, sometimes writing something that you definitely know other people will like or love is a safe way to boost your confidence (and get you motivated on stuff that you aren’t sure people will like!). One of the best tricks I’ve come across, and I use it often. Lastly, use a placemarker (like a unique, random combination of letters that you can easily Ctrl+F for) to note in the text when you need to look up a fact or something, and keep writing, instead of trying to find the info at that moment. It’s a useful way to prevent falling down a research hole and instead allows the inspiration and words to keep flowing.

We thank Lina and Kayla both for bringing us such a lovely interview! Please look forward to next month’s author interview!

[serenagaywaterford]

Have you seen Amanda Brugel's last instagram post? I'm beginning to worry Serena doesn't survive the season

HEY ANON! SERIOUS QUESTION: ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK LOL?! Now, cue me frantically pouring over the post!

I’m curious. What makes you think that it’s ominous? It could be my wishful thinking, but nothing screamed out at me from it? Am I blind, lol? I mean, of course, there’s Ever waxing all FOMO over it, but that’s expected cos she’s not in the show all that much as it is. And the photo, if I’m reading Amanda right, is from S1. Is that why?

Maybe it’s wishful thinking but I don’t think they’ll kill off Serena–yet. Mainly, she’s one of the central characters, and certainly the central (human) antagonist to June specifically. (We all know the real villain is Gilead and male power. Fred is a secondary antagonist imo, and more like a stand-in for Gilead itself to make it easier to see the true evil.) There is a great deal of focus on her thus far, to develop her and weave her into a story that, if we’re all being real, the Waterfords should have been gone from already and certainly by the end of S2 but we know there’s going to be even more about both of them. And there is quite QUITE a lot of potential to move Serena across the “villainy spectrum” towards neutral or even true anti-hero without it being a deus ex machina/jump the shark sort of thing. And that sort of story is pure gold for a writer. It can be milked for a long time and works easily with drama, and the feminist themes of the show. I don’t want to say “redemption arc” cos that would require A LOT of work and I think most viewers are still stuck on 210 (once again–that was a HORRIBLE MISSTEP FOR THE CREATIVE TEAM the way it was written. I’ll say that forever because so many, many people missed the underlying point about it), but movement is possible.

Also, Miller seems to really enjoy the character/actress, and Yvonne’s got a LOT of hype on social media/critics circles. I think even if you hate Serena, you recognise how stellar Yvonne’s doing. Like, that’s why Serena is so hated (other than people not understanding Serena)–Yvonne plays her so exceptionally well.

I have NO idea what the contract situation is like, but I’d suspect she has a 5-year deal, like most. Quite frankly, the only reason I can see for killing Serena off is that Yvonne wants out, to be with her new baby. It must be dreadful to have a newborn and be working 6 months on such a dark, cold show about the oppression of women and horrible things about children. But she is a professional so we’ll see.

Or, I suppose, if they want SHOCK VALUE. Cos, who really expects Serena to die? I know a lot of vocal idiots online cream themselves over her dying a painful death and wish her horrible death constantly, but those are just loud online idiots – and if I’ve learnt anything from decades of fandom, it’s that showrunners rarely give a shit about those fans or take them seriously. They’ll pander to a degree, but they deep down don’t care. (Obvs there are exceptions but most showrunners and writers have a goal and view and it doesn’t change based on the whims of rabid fans on Twitter and Tumblr. There was a time in my life that I believed they cared. They do not, lol.)

But hey, this is complete wishful thinking cos she’s my babe and I don’t want THT without her. So I live in denial that they’ll kill her off. She’s honestly the most complex and second most developed character in the entire series. It would seem short-sighted to dump a character like that.

Honestly? I think it’s far more likely that Rita will leave the show than Serena, if we’re looking at Amanda & Yvonne. Which is a shame too cos she’s the only Canadian in the main cast and a good character. It all depends I suppose on the direction they go with the Resistance/Mayday and the Waterfords. Rita and Serena could BOTH go by the end of the season.

I’m gonna rant now about the characters that SHOULD go…

In terms of characters that have run their course, I vote for the main males. Both Fred and Nick are totally redundant to me now–and this has nothing to do with my dislike of Nick, I swear. Just on a narrative level, he no longer serves much purpose if we’re supposed to be watching a show about women fighting back against a repressive patriarchal fascist regime. (I don’t need some cutsey romance subplot, thanks. And I don’t think June requires it either, not when she’s on a mission to get HANNAH back and make to Canada to reunite with her HUSBAND and bff, all whilst saving ALL the children and women of Gilead. She’s got quite enough going on. The story is supposed to be less depressing this season so the argument that the N/J thing brings “lightness” and “hope” to a bleak story is also outdated too.) He’s just redundant. Served his purpose, and it was an important purpose, don’t get me wrong! I understand his very integral role especially in S1 but it’s just run its course, imo. I think even Nick stans seem to recognise this on some level cos they’re always terrified he’s going to be killed off almost every episode lol.

I may not care for Luke either, but he actually will remain important to the story, I think and I can’t see any good reason to get rid of him. He needs to remain alive. I think it would kill June to find out he’s dead.

Fred is just… a cartoon now and needs to go. How many more Evil TM things can he do? Yawn. We don’t need the personification of Gilead anymore I don’t think. We get it. Both Nick and Fred have dodged certain death now and it’s just like, OKAY, with June I get it cos she’s the protag, but them? Give me a break. Lazy. The only reason I don’t think they’ll kill off Nick is pure fanservice. I can’t see any rational reason other than that. Those LOUD fangirls will have a fucking meltdown. (I’ll say that when I speak to non-fandom people offline about the show, the vast majority don’t really care about the N*ck/June storyline nearly as much. Most people I’ve spoken with care much more about the larger issues–and it was crazy cos I was talking to a friend that I hadn’t seen in like 4 months about THT, and I know isn’t a fan of THT–like she watches it but isn’t in fandom. Just casual. And I brought up Serena (of course I did) but I was very critical of her, and she (who knows ZERO about my true feelings for Serena lol) was defensive of the character. It blew my mind cos she’s really not the type to defend problematic characters or villains. (I honestly thought she’d be a Nick fan, N/J fan, and Serena hater. But she’s a JUNE fan first and foremost, doesn’t really care for N/J but thought it was cute at the time, and doesn’t hate Serena.) She even brought up points that we Serena fans say, completely unprompted by me. So, I think in terms of casual fans, they’re a little more perceptive than the vocal majority of N*ck/June fangirls that dominate fandom. God, it’s such a relief to talk to offline people sometimes. By and large, they seem far more reasonable when it comes to this show and where the focus should be. (I should probably mention that almost all of the people I’ve spoken to about THT have been over the age of 25 (many over 30), which probably has something to do with it tbh.)

Both Fred and Nick are props for the female characters, and I think June and Serena are developed enough at this point to stand on their own without the need for either of those dudes. I don’t need men to help tell a story about women, thanks.

But again, I’m just some online voice. The producers and showrunners don’t give a shit what I think. They don’t even know I exist. And that’s probably a good thing (considering my obsession with having June/Serena fuck, lol. I’m gonna wager they don’t wanna see that.).

I’m just gonna pretend I am not now freaking out about Serena being killed off in S3. As much as I think it may be a terrible idea, I honestly don’t put it past this show…

[acidflash]

The Secret DJ

This is the third book in succession I’ve read about the phenomenon we love and know as Electronic Music. I think that’s what to call it anyway. As time goes on I like using that term less and less as “EDM” becomes more and more infused into our everyday lives. Either way, whatever you want to call it each book has been significantly different in its approach to this intoxicating lifestyle but equally enjoyable. “Ninety” by Johnny Proctor was a foray into fiction and Acid House, “Sonic Youth Slept On My Floor” by Dave Haslam was a memoir that heavily focused on his DJing and now we have “The Secret DJ”, a memoir of sorts but it reads like fiction with its larger than life escapades! I loved it and would highly recommend reading this to anyone. I’m not sure this is particularly a “book review” per se but I talk about it and what parts of it mean to me.

The Secret DJ is a series of tales from a now fifty something DJ who was one of the original “Superstar DJs”. He takes us on a non-chronological journey of debauchery, realism, philosophy, narcotics, comedy and education. Several characters play a supporting role, none more so than Tour Manager his, well tour manager obviously. Except he sounds like the most useless tour manager ever and is saved by the fact he sounds like the most hilarious wingman you can imagine. Possibly not for The Secret DJ but certainly for the reader.

The book is written obviously from an anonymous source and focuses purely on life on the road as a working DJ, apart from a couple of life-changing events. There’s no childhood stories that give you hints of the life to come, there’s no background as to how he became a DJ, it’s just straight in with the mostly comical japery and what it’s like to endure/enjoy that lifestyle that is so revered by many, but so few could ever withstand.

As someone who started DJing back when few people did I can empathise with so much of the book. I’m around 10 years younger so although I was part of the first army of “bedroom DJs”, there were far fewer of us than there are nowadays and there was no sync button. Much of his outlook is “I’m an old bastard and it was much better in my day”, and as much as I try not to be, my outlook is not too dissimilar. Of course it’s wrong, there are undoubtedly things that were much better “back in the day” but there are also better things nowadays. Sometimes the same thing is why it was better then/now. We had no camera phones so everyone just got on enjoying themselves, but few of us have much of a record of the great times we had bar what we can remember, which let’s face it isn’t a lot. Clubbers nowadays can keep physical memories of these great times. I’d prefer to just enjoy myself and not worry or cringe about what people I’ve been out with might slap on social media but there are certainly pros and cons to both sides of that argument. Likewise how organised things are these days. There was so much adventure 20/30 years ago, you didn’t quite know if things would happen or not, there wasn’t always security, chill out zones etc. so there’s better safety nowadays. Whatever way you look at it there were good things and bad things about the different eras.

Anyway I digress. There were many passages I’d like to highlight but I don’t want to give too much away. Nothing more annoying than reviews or previews that give away all the “best bits”. Instead I’ll tell you the ones that resonated with me the most. You can read it yourself for the funny parts, of which there are many.

His description of how the art comes more naturally the less you try for instance - “Have you ever tried too hard at something physical, a sport or a game? Have you noticed how you are never better at it when you’re not trying at all? It’s that.” Bang on. Once you can do something on autopilot then you’re sorted. Most of us probably drive a car without thinking about what we’re doing most of the time, it’s like that. Once you start thinking whether your clutch/accelerator co-ordination is correct then you suddenly start changing gear poorly.

Likewise, mistakes. We’re human. Be immediately suspicious of anyone who appears to be mixing “perfectly”. Little mistakes show up reality. Technology is doing most, or all, of the work if absolutely nothing is going wrong. I almost always used the crossfader to mix, and once I got so deep into a mix where I was using the channel slider I forgot the crossfader was still stuck in the middle. The record eventually ran out when I’d faded it out almost perfectly, I slammed the channel slider back up triumphantly thinking the crossfader was right over and had a great surge of adrenaline. Then the next song started, not only were there huge brass stabs at full volume but obviously completely out of time with the record that was playing. Took me around 5 seconds to work out what the hell was going on before I stopped the record. The following month I turned up to play again at the same club to discover they were selling the set I’d done that night on CD. The first half the monitors barely worked so there were trainwrecks and then there was that big mistake. I was mortified. Everybody who I spoke to over the next few months loved it and didn’t care so I stopped caring. Ride your mistakes out, realise everyone makes them and eventually you’ll lose the fear. Unless you are playing in front of 5000 people obviously….

Treating people in the service industry not only with respect (as any even remotely respectable human being should) but to turn it round and be the subservient one. In turn you will be treated much better and for longer. I don’t work in the service industry but in a role that has similarities, trust me when I say the better you treat me the further I will go to give you a great service. In The Secret DJ’s case he also treated them well so that when things inevitably got fucked up later on he was also in credit. Plan ahead in other words.

Talking about Tour Manager he fondly describes how he is the only person made a better person by cocaine, “Some people genuinely have great trouble coming forth from their shell, and sometimes the mollusc within is very special”. Great words and instantly endears you to TM. Their relationship is clearly very special. Well I guess it has to be when he’s useless at being a tour manager!

Talking about the “Shazam generation” and how the research has been taken out of record finding, he says “Being a DJ is about being an authority, which comes through contact and immersion, not mental tourism. In this Information Age, the true hazard is that information gets confused with knowledge. Just cos you have something doesn’t mean you own it”. Incredibly sage words.

Twice I actually cried with laughter. I find laughter to be incredibly infectious and rarely laugh hard on my own even when watching something funny. To laugh at a book so hard that my daughter thought there was something wrong with me takes some doing. Without particularly giving anything away, one downer-addled adventure ends with him saying “If this was a film, there would now be a montage of stills of ascending idiocy”. My head was already doing this, seeing it written out in words tipped me over the edge. Secondly, “MOORSEBERRY SHREWSCAKE”. I couldn’t breathe by the end of this story. Seriously, I couldn’t.

On fame - “One day people loved what I did, then they didn’t. But the things I made were the same. Odd”. We can see it as punters when someone’s musical output doesn’t really change in terms of quality but suddenly a newer, younger kid is on the block and they’re forgotten about. A fickle mistress indeed.

As the book edges closer to the end a very sobering event happens to The Secret DJ. I must say it did knock me sideways a bit, I wasn’t expecting it to hit me so hard. He hinted early in the book that he “lost it” in some way and went off the radar but it was shocking. He writes it in a very blasé way too, I think perhaps as a defence mechanism - making light of what is a very serious situation. How he even managed to survive is a miracle, far less write the book.

Lastly, an extremely poignant quote. “To this day I have no idea how you can spend so much joyful time with another human and end up not seeing them ever again”. I’m sure most of us who spent many years clubbing can fully understand this. Outside of family I had the most amazing time of my life with a few people you can easily count on your fingers. With the exception of one I’ll probably never see them again for various reasons. It still fucks with my head a bit, even years later. How did we go from saving the world, looking out for each other no matter what the situation was, feeling like there was no-one else in the world either understood us or even existed, having the maddest adventures that bound us together for ever more, to never seeing each other again? Growing up I guess. Drifting apart. Shit going down.

Think I’ve hit several tangents there and I was meant to be telling you how great a book it is. It’s a great book for two reasons, the storytelling is first class and will take you through a range of emotions, which lets face it is what you generally look for in a book isn’t it? But also I can connect with so much of it. Like Dave Haslam’s book I mentioned at the start there is so much of the book I get on a personal level. Some of its music-related and some of it’s personality and some of it is both. I guess those of us who obsess enough about music to go down the DJing route are probably similarly built.

One last thing, and I suppose it’s the elephant in the room. Who is he? There are a vast array of clues, although he says something near the end that means you can’t read too far into a lot of them. After all, why write a book anonymously if it’s easy for people to guess? There aren’t too many people he can be and I have a good idea but I like the myth. There’s not really any sniping or secret-telling about other DJs apart from the odd short anecdote and none (apart from the famous Steve Angello incident) are ever named. It just feels like a guy wanted to write a book about his adventures but didn’t want people to know it was him. I know how he feels.

Order it here: The Secret DJ https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0571334482/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i4yxBb5729B54

If you fancy the other books I mentioned you can order Dave Haslam’s here:

Sonic Youth Slept On My Floor: Music, Manchester, and More: A Memoir https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1472127528/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_D5yxBb66E5E24

and Ninety by Johnny Proctor here:

Ninety https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1979953414/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_f7yxBb8C98A14

Review: http://acidflash.tumblr.com/post/174467922138/ninety-by-johnny-proctor-a-review-zico-is-a