#(this was one of those “neku had a dream” moments)

[mmoneystones]

Citrinne Land Meta 01(?) - The Most Important One

Because who else will try to map out Citrinne's land if IS is too afraid to do it.

For those unaware, the main reason for me having this stupid idea comes right from one of Citrinne's notes in her Ally Notebook entry, that being:

Personality: Compassionate and thoughtful. Raised in great comfort, now uses her wealth to pamper allies. Has a resting scowl. Owns more land than any other ally. (Citrinne Ally Notebook A-Rank Entry)

Now yes, not everyone else in the Fire Emblem universe, let alone Engage itself, is flaunting their wealth so gung-ho to try matching this claim. But...more land than any other ally??? What does this even mean. And what does this actually say about Citrinne's wealth?

I'm not an economics major, nor do I own a single plot of land. Let's look at this together!!

Part 1: In-Game Evidence

To start, let us simply take a look at every line of dialogue that can refer to or confirm Citrinne's land ownerships. Starting with every support chain she has, then bond conversations with Emblems, and finally miscellaneous dialogue. Supports will be listed by recruitment order (ie Alear, then Clanne, then Chloé, etc.)

ALEAR SUPPORT - "Yeah I'll buy you an entire island what of it"

[Citrinne] Aha! A gift idea has just come to me. [Citrinne] An acquaintance of the Brodian royal family is looking to sell their private island─at cost! [Citrinne] What would you say to your own private island getaway? My treat, of course. (Citrinne/Alear C Support)

Now, this act in particular is in a bit of a grey area, as Citrinne never truly purchases the private island mentioned in this C support since Alear's support chain transitions to the true value of a gift. However, this support easily gives us a reference for what Citrinne is capable of purchasing land-wise. It might even come to bite back in the future...

LAPIS SUPPORT - "So this is where Luigi's extra mansion went"

[Lapis] A note? No, an address. What is this? [Citrinne] That's the mailing address for one of my family's spare manors in the heart of town. [Citrinne] We haven't lived there in quite a while, so it's only staffed by grounds- and housekeepers. Citrinne/Lapis A Support)

By the end of their support together, Citrinne offers one of her vacant manors to assist in hiding Lapis' commoner background.

"One of my family's spare manors." One. This is huge chat.

Snippets of dialogue from Citrinne's Somniel flavor text include suggestions of Citrinne living in several manors or castles throughout her life.

This may rival the cooking from my manor back home! Such culinary skill must be hard-earned… (OK Food Dialogue for Citrinne)I’ve enjoyed staying in mansions and castles, but this is a far more exciting place to live. (Fond of Somniel for Citrinne)

Combined with the above evidence, it is apparent that Citrinne's family owns many mansions or luxurious homes, and even has the hired help to maintain them while not in use. How much exactly is "many," though? That's a good question. Anyway.

VEYLE SUPPORT - "Ah fuck she actually bought that island"

[Veyle] And why did you hand me this deed saying I own "a deserted island with beautiful beaches"? [Citrinne] It also says, "private villa included." A pretty dress deserves a pretty escape, don't you think? (Citrinne/Veyle B Support)

So, we can take this exchange in two ways. One, Citrinne is once again offering the island she mentioned previously in Alear's support. Which, honestly, I would find really cute that Citrinne offers the same plot of land to two dragon allies. She can even be giving her the deed in advance and hasn't purchased a private island yet, similar to how she only offered the island in Alear's C Support.

However, there is option two, which I personally think suits this situation. Not only has Citrinne already bought out and mapped this "deserted island with beautiful beaches," but this is a different island to what she offered Alear. Now if this land was also from a family friend or just vacant land she believed Veyle deserved, that can be up for debate. But nevertheless, this is a heavy change for the Citrinne land ownership game.

This is where the supports end for land-specific ventures. Many other supports go to show Citrinne's vast wealth which can be adjacent to how much land she owns, though that is more suited for a real different meta.

BOND CONVERSATIONS - "Some side purchases"

Likewise, and more realistically, the bond conversations with Emblems are usually too short or brief to truly reflect on Citrinne's land-purchasing capabilities. However, both Eirika and Byleth's conversations end up with some decent enough clues.

[Citrinne] There must be some gift I can offer you, Eirika. Shall I buy you a mountain? Rent out the coast? [Eirika] Um, those would both be a bit much, but I can sense your sincerity. Let me think it over. (Citrinne/Eirika B Bond)

I have no idea how much acts of buying out a mountain would cost, but it's something Citrinne feels comfortable offering for a mythical being! Surely must be realistic.

[Citrinne] I'd love to hear one of your lessons, Professor. I think I'll pay for a lecture hall to be built here... [Byleth] Just for one of my lectures? What's wrong with the buildings we already have? (Citrinne/Byleth B Bond) [Citrinne] Oh, of course! Increased attendance calls for a proper school. I'll begin the preparations now! [Byleth] An entire school just for my lectures? That's a bit much...but I trust you'll do it right, Citrinne. (Citrinne/Byleth A Bond)

Regardless if Citrinne ended up paying for that lecture hall in the B Bond, she definitely is confident in having the resources to construct structures. The choice of a lecture hall and school in these, while fitting for Byleth, is also a great nod toward how Citrinne tries to use her funds to assist the people in Brodia from all corners of life.

SIDE QUOTES - "And here's extra!"

This final section aims to cover Citrinne's Exploration and Somniel lines in particular. Though if I have missed a certain type of dialogue that reveals even more of Citrinne's coverage, please let me know! More proof only brings the possibility of Citrinne buying out the entire world closer to reality.

Most dialogue here mainly serves to reinforce Citrinne's glandular wealth, though hints of potential ownership do show themselves.

We claimed the Emblem Ring here, so…why not restore this fortress to be a bit less gloomy? (Northern Fortress for Citrinne)

Further proof that Citrinne not shy to utilize money to not only own but refine fortresses.

The sea is so beautiful! I’d love to buy this land, but a peaceful spot like this should remain free. (Azure Coast for Citrinne)

She's going to still buy the coast, probably. I don't trust her.

Please, you must allow me to help restore this beautiful port town… I’ll assist every way I can. (Florra Port for Citrinne)

More serves as backup for her desire to use funds for the good of others, but this felt important to highlight for the scope said funds can handle.

When the war ends, I hope to throw a party on this ship. Just allow me one tiny, naive dream… (Route to Elusia for Citrinne)

Weezer cruise? Weezer cruise.

Part 2: Jesus how do I liquidate this

So real quick, let's sum up all that Citrinne potentially owns throughout or by the end of Engage:

1-2 private/deserted island escapes (Alear/Veyle supports)

Multiple manors, which possibly even extends to castles/forts (Lapis support + Somniel lines)

And here is what she can theoretically buy or purchase on a whim:

Mountains and coastlines?? Maybe mines (Eirika bond)

Infrastructure and the ability to maintain it (Byleth bond + Exploration lines)

Without even considering exchange rates between their real life value and Elyos' gold/currency, it would be nice to know how much this turns out to be, both in money and distance. Let's use everyone's savior (Google), for some frame from reference.

Ignoring potential costs such as keeping the island in shape, the staff required for such a task, and any other bonus expidentures, private islands seem to generally range from $200,000 to $200 million depending on their size. Clearly a large range of price, though at least it's something!

Similiarly, a manor or mansion's cost heavily depends on how large it is, with small ones potentially being as cheap as $500,000 while much larger ones can go to tens of millions of dollars. Not even considering the several facilities some of the grander manors of the Brodian royal family possibly contain.

I was unable to find anything truly concrete for a mountain purchase, although one site makes a good point in mountains technically being government-assigned land when not being put to use. So in reality, the price of a hill Citrinne desires would depend on how much the rulers of Brodia are willing to sell it for...considering the heavy emphasis on gem deposits in Brodia, this wouldn't be a mere penny. Coastlines result in lesser results.

As for infrastructure, I kept to the concept of the Byleth bond conversation and checked costs for an average school. For an elementary school, this would be around $295 per square foot, with middle schools raising the rate to $325 and high schools to $359. Universities are much more expensive, so let's keep it to lower education, potentially what can assist Brodian youth. These buildings can be tens of thousands of square feet.

With all of this random information combined, I'd like to at least try assigning all of this a number.

For the islands, as I am assuming Citrinne can purchase both the "private" (Alear) and "deserted" (Veyle) islands, let's assume the former is the worst case of $200 million and the latter is a less greedy $200,000 thanks to the "deserted" tagline. Actually, raise that by another million due to the promised private villa.

Trying to guess how many manors Citrinne's family owns and their values can get messy quick. It is also important to consider she likely doesn't own every manor she's been to while mentioning that in her Somniel text. For a frame of reference, let's total this to 6 family manors and a total of $50 million.

Let's assume Citrinne's mountain offer to Eirika is a best-case scenario, where the mountain in question lacks purpose for mining or other use. Probably still a decent cost...$3 million?

Finally, the school will be about 90 thousand square feet with the rate of a middle school. That still ends up being a hefty $29.25 million!

In sum, this approximates to...$283,450,000????

Converting this to a proper in-game price would be a nightmare when trying to understand the value of smaller items in FE economy results in headaches. This is also a very, very gross estimation that is meant to be a joke, but...maybe we can derive some meaning from it?

Part 3: So, my muse is a public multi-millionaire. Now what?

Let's be honest, I'm probably low-balling it here and Citrinne is actually a billionaire in-universe.

And as much as I wanted to compare Citrinne's potential wealth to that of Scrooge McDuck, it turns out that the duck is living on a much higher paycheck than a couple of billions.

Without naming names, a quick search seems to imply that some billionaires (at least, when limited to the US) own just over 2 million acres in raw land. While it would be nice to leave the assumptions at that, perhaps round down the number a little, I just had the realization - does Brodia even have enough land for 2 million acres??

Kind of hard to say when we only see like, 2 to 3 locations of Brodia in-game tops. Though I think the most logical conclusion here (and one that makes me realize how pointless this entire rambling meta has been) is that Citrinne might not own it all, but it is clear that her position allows her to influence all of Brodia, at the very least. Assuming a clean economic conversion between lands in Elyos, this likely even extends to similar lands in each country.

In all honesty, all of the estimates and number jumbling is just an extensive way to state "she sure owns a lot!" Expressions of such within Engage are clearly meant to be lofty exaggerations to further illustrate the lesson that money doesn't buy anything. So who would I be to keep trying to slap value on something truly priceless?

...okay but do you think she can buy out Brodia Cast-

Conclusion

How much land does Citrinne truly own? In the end, it really depends on the reach of her own family, which just turns out to be the royal family. The limits aren't endless, but with her statements and offers to own and exchange isolated islands, mansions and potentially castles, Citrinne's reach is truly wide. "Owning more land than any other ally" was, thankfully, not a lie.

To be real this idea started off as just analyzing the dialogue implying Citrinne owns land but then spiraled into this stupid real life connection and I had to rein it in before it went too far. I hope...it was funny to think about at the very least?

Addendum: Neku how did you forget Heroes exists

Hey so thanks to Nat on Discord for reminding me that Citrinne in fact appears in Fire Emblem Heroes to yap more about what she owns. I won't go to the silly lengths of estimating the value of what any of this means, but here are the highlights to add to her possession:

I'd like us to become friends, so let me start off with a gift. Oh, I know! What would you say to your very own island getaway? (Citrinne Status Page)

Another mention of an island venue. While I did headcanon that the islands Citrinne offers to Alear and Veyle are different, I will put my foot down here and merely assume Citrinne can be referring to the same islands she offered to the dragons previously. Mainly because Heroes makes it clear that most status page lines such as this are fanservice to the source game.

Unless you really want Citrinne to have a series of island ready for giveaway. Go crazy!

Gems are Brodia’s main export. My family owns several mines, so we have a steady supply. (Unworked Pride Citrinne Forging Bonds B)

Here is a piece of land that is much more linked to Brodia itself: gem mines. It is nice to have more literal proof that Citrinne has a decent few of them directly under her family's possession.

It’s a deed to a piece of land in Brodia—a territory high in the mountains, atop a scenic plateau. (Unworked Pride Citrinne Forging Bonds A)

Yes, the land that feh!Anna sells like NFTs to the rest of the Order of Heroes. This can be most closely compared to the manors mentioned in her Lapis supports, although it is more implied here that this land has not been worked on or at least isn't one-to-one a mansion just yet. Maybe this could be undeveloped land that Citrinne holds close for times of need, such as this Forging Bonds event?

I am glad that Heroes did provide some more information regarding this topic, without going comically over the top! If anything, these new bits contribute further to her capabilities of helping the poorer with her wealth.

[charlezarrd]

Regarding the video game ask game:

4, 9, 13, 14, 17, 28

To This Ask

4: Worst Game You’ve Ever Played?

This one is tricky. And potentially a controversial question.

I could go with the game that has made me feel the worst while playing it, which is FTL: Faster Than Light or maybe Long Live The Queen. But I know both of those games have their fans, just that neither of them are for me.

I could go with the game I’ve played that is the most poorly designed, such as Farenheit: Indigo Prophecy. God, what a train wreck of a game. Everyone should play it because of how stupid it is.

Or I could with a game that started interestingly, I loved it, and devolved over time further and further into Gacha Trash, like Brave Frontier. But truthfully, the same can be said of most mobile games these days. I’m too familir with the lifecycle of microtransactions. Plus I feel like saying any mobile game is cheating.

No, instead I think I am going to go with something that has actually deeply affected me, more than any of those did. League of Legends. To start with, I will say, MOBAs just aren’t for me. I’m not a very competetive person by nature, and MOBAs are such a poor genre of game to do anything but compete.

The community is genuinely awful, but also inherently unavoidable by the nature of the game.

And then there’s Riot’s obsession with copaganda and general lack of care for their own characters and story.

League’s lore is interesting, I’ll give it that. But the lens through which it’s displayed and the medium of the game itself just brings everything down. League is just such a depressing mess for me, I really can’t believe I forced myself to play it as much as I did.

9: A game you turn your volume off every time you play it?

What? None of them, who does this? Sound design is so important to the experience, what??

13: A Game You Were the Most Excited For When it Wasn’t Released Yet?

You know, it’s funny. But aside from a few specific cases, I don’t usually get excited for games before I get the chance to play them. However, I have two, for two different reasons:

The first is Yume Nikki: Dream Diary, the 3D re-imagining of Yume Nikki. I was at first very exited to see the worlds of Yume Nikki professionally rendered in 3D, and explore what might be new to the game. However, when the game came out and I played it, I was very dissappointed to learn that they reduced the exploration-heavy gameplay to a handful of linear pathways, and some of the most interesting uncomfortable moments into just… Jumpscares. It was dissappointing.

The other, is BlazBlue: Chronophantasma. This one for less dissappointing reasons. I was very hyped to continue the story after Continuum Shift. But when Chronophantasma came out, I just didn’t have the money for it, and didn’t have a console that would run it. So I waited for it to come to Steam, and then forgot it existed. However, by that time, Central Fiction, the game after Chronophantasma, came out and ArcSys refused to dub it, despite everyone wanting a dub. I was a little annoyed about that, so I waited until they were on sale to get either.

14: A Game You Think Would Be Cool If It Had Voice Acting?

A lot of games I play already do, or they make the deliberate choice to not have voice acting for one reason or another.

So for this I’m going with Valkie 64. The game is clearly going after some Ocarina of Time vibes, but it’s a little unpolished, a little rough around the edges. I think adding voice acting would make it a lot more endearing, would make it easier to care about Valkie and the characters of the world.

17: What Game Do You Never Tell People You Play?

Why would you ask that? I’ll never tell.

28: Which Character’s Clothes Do You Wish You Owned the Most?

Neku Sakuraba from The World Ends With You. Kid’s got mad style and if I could find a hoodie that had a high collar like that, I would wear it a lot.

[oveliagirlhaditright]

I had a dream two nights ago, that Neku Sakuraba was let out of the Reapers' Game after his second Week of it. But, like, everyone else had still been left to their terrible fates: Shiki, I guess, was sort of in a limbo like state, since I guess Neku didn't win the Game at the end of his Week 2 (and thus couldn't be given his Entry Fee back), but was just let out, and she obviously couldn't be his Entry Fee anymore since he wasn't playing at the moment (she was probably being kept unconscious somewhere by Kitaniji or something)... Joshua was still dead as far as Neku was aware... Rhyme was still Erased (actually still a Squirrel Noise, but Neku didn't know that)... Beat was still a Reaper... Nao and Sota were still Erased, etc.

And, like, a large part of Neku in this dream did want to go back into the Game to try and help his friends, and felt super guilty about everything. But he was also understandably scared, and thought that this may be his one chance to get out, and maybe he shouldn't waste it?

(I feel like this was, of course, another part of Joshua's test for him, but I'm not entirely sure. My dream wasn't entirely clear on that.)

In particular, Neku missed Shiki...

Anyway, Neku ended up deciding that if he was going to risk his tail for his friends again, he wanted to make sure that it was worth it, and that he had a better idea of what he was doing.

I want to say that he ended up going to college and exploring the human condition?--because he wanted more proof that people's individual lives were worth it--but I'm not sure about that. Like, would he really have had time to enroll and stuff? Maybe he just convinced some professors to talk to him, and whatnot. And I think they ended up talking about souls? Like, this is where I've started to forget parts of my dream... but I think one professor's idea about souls was similar to what those in the Game knew about them.

At this point, knowing everything he needed to (and I think it's months later now), Neku decided that he'd go back into the Game to try and save Shiki and Beat, and everyone. And I think this is where I woke up. LOL

[sage-nebula]

I found very weird the treatment to Shiki and Rhyme like... they could have left it at: "They are on the RG, they can't fight Noise and therefore are in danger like..." yeah, Rhyme is understandable but Shiki? The only other Psych user we know that is on Neku and Beat's level? Like?

I mean, to be honest, Beat, Rindo, Fret, and Nagi are only in the UG because of their Shinjuku Player Pins / Reaper Pins (I think Reaper Pins might be the official name?). None of them are dead and if they ditched those pins there's a chance they'd shift back (or be wiped from existence altogether). All Shiki or Rhyme would have to do is grab one of those pins and they'd shift to the UG as well and be able to fight the Noise just like the rest of them. The only ones that are actually stuck there are Neku and Shoka. That said though, the Noise don't start chomping on the RG people until after that little conversation takes place, so Rhyme and Shiki weren't in any particular danger just because they were in the RG. Beat was being overprotective.

Which, again, I can understand with regards to Rhyme. I'm not saying it's right, since in actuality the only reason she got erased was because Beat himself wasn't paying attention, not because of any lack of psych prowess on her part. In fact, Beat himself tells Neku during Week 3 that Rhyme was basically leading him by the hand through the UG; she explained to him how his own psych worked, for crying out loud. Rhyme was arguably a more capable Player than Beat was, and was only fridged because they wanted to use her for Beat's character development sacrificed because she thought he had a dream to live for while she didn't, thus she put herself in the line of fire for his sake in a split-second decision. There's nothing saying she wouldn't be able to handle herself in a fair fight against Noise when she was holding her own as Beat's partner just fine before she got eaten by that shark in his stead.

With all that said though, I can still understand Beat and Neku feeling protective of her because she was eaten by shark Noise right in front of them. Beat's going to be protective of her no matter what because she's his little sister, but that can be a hard image to get out of your head. Rhyme was a perfectly capable Player, but she still did get chomped by Noise before she had a chance to really prove herself, and her biggest moments in the Long Game were sacrificing herself to a shark and beating the shit out of Konishi as a squirrel (which, while funny, still isn't on the same level as what the others did). So I can understand them underestimating her and wanting to protect her from getting erased again.

But Shiki? It's so frustrating because Shiki already got the least amount of screentime of Neku's partners in the first game despite being the heroine. She was out of commission for the whole of Week 2 and only comes back at the end of Week 3. I understand why, the story is really cohesive as it is, but I think a lot of people don't fully acknowledge just how much Shiki contributed outside of helping Neku want to be a better person. Shiki is strong. Yes, she puts herself down a lot (especially when complimenting Neku), but that's because of her self-esteem issues, not because of her lack of power! She controls Mr Mew subconsciously, she helped Neku take down the Game Master of Week 1, and she was one of his THREE partners who helped him take down Kitaniji's final form. Shiki is strong, determined, and brave. She's not on Neku's level, but no one is, that's a point that's repeated again and again in BOTH games. In the Shibuya Game, pins have usage restrictions so that only certain people can use certain pins (and it's not entirely clear what the restrictions are, whether it's by psych power or psych type, but nonetheless). Neku is the only Player that we know of who can use them all, however he likes. Shiki was restricted to one, but so was Beat, Shiki and Beat are on the same level. (And to be honest I thought for a long time that perhaps Neku could use all pins because of his second Player Pin, but Neo pretty much dashed that idea by having Neku be strong enough to psychically link to all of Shibuya; granted I think his powers grew exponentially in Shinjuku, and I also think that's the real reason Joshua locked him in there, but nonetheless, Neku is canonically the strongest psychic among the Player cast, and that's not to shade on anyone else, but just to show that he's unique where he stands.)

This got away from me a bit. My point is, Shiki accomplished a whole fucking lot in the original Game and proved time and time again how strong she is, both emotionally, psychologically, and psychically. She wouldn't be capable of Lvl 3 fusions if she wasn't strong. She wouldn't have been able to push herself through her own issues, both in recognizing and overcoming them, if she wasn't strong. She wouldn't have been able to face a Game Master and live if she wasn't strong. And she wouldn't have been able to sync with Neku during that final battle if she wasn't strong. Misaki Shiki is a damn strong psychic who can absolutely hold her own, and so to have a pair of dumb-dumb boys who should know better be like "yeah it's too dangerous for her :/" is just nonsense. She deserves better, and if Neku was actually written in-character, he would have recognized that and spoken up on her behalf because he knows better than anyone just how strong she is. She was his partner, his first partner; he would never doubt her strength, on any level.

[voicefromthecorner]

Konishi is so awful that she really devoted her final moments to trying to sow seeds of doubt in Beat and Rhyme's love for each other. She revealed something to Beat purely with the intention of emotionally hurting him, spiteful to the last. It was the last card she had to play and she possibly saved it for a moment like this. What a disgusting human being. And an excellent villain, fare thee well.

The game has strongly implied at this point that Rhyme's actual entry fee was her dreams. Day 5 had Beat tell us about how she'd had tons of dreams but it was like a switch was flipped when she came to the UG. He didn't notice it, like many players probably didn't, because he was caught up on her not remembering him, but it's a noticeable difference between her in RG and UG, something we even witnessed of her in Week 1.

Konishi throwing that in Beat's face here and Beat being lost about what Rhyme's fee really was causes him to miss the big upside of this revelation: Rhyme definitely hasn't lost her memories of him. If those memories were Beat's entry fee, then they're safe and were restored at the end of the game.

So with that in mind, the noise on Beat's shoulder throughout Week 2 wasn't just Rhyme; it had Rhyme's memories. It knew Beat was her brother. She knew who they were and likely remembered Neku and Shiki throughout that week. When Konishi crushed that noise, she was crushing Rhyme.

Knowing how Neku got his memories back after that first game makes me think about what Beat and Rhyme would have done if they were in Neku and Shiki's situation. I could see Beat ensuring Rhyme went back to life before choosing to become a Reaper so that he can do something with his life while watching over her. Can you imagine a scenario like that? Because Rhyme would only realise after coming back to life that the partner who just sacrificed himself for her was her brother.

Sorry, tangent. Thinking about stuff like that just engages me. I like "What if"s.

The last thing to really think about is that Konishi really tries to imply that Rhyme didn't really love Beat simply because her entry fee wasn't her memories of him. She may succeed in giving Beat pause, but it's a desperate and frankly pathetic argument. Rhyme literally died chasing after him, encouraging him throughout her life until that point. The idea that she had her own dreams that meant the most to her doesn't take away from her love for other people. She can have a great passion for multiple things and people without being exclusively locked into valuing one of them.

On top of that, it's often theorised that one of Rhyme's motivations for having dreams and working hard to make something of herself was to inspire and support Beat. Whether or not that's the case, it's still a possibility that again proves her capacity to hold Beat as dearly as he held her without her entry fee being explicitly tied to him.

But Beat doesn't have nearly enough time to consider all of that and so just presses forward. He only cares about doing right by her anyway, so it's all good, but it's good to know and bear in mind that Rhyme 100% does love Beat and Konishi is just the worst. It's the natural order of things.

[stillunpainted]

Postmortem

cw for implied suicide.  1.8k fic under the cut baby.  Pretty much Neku dealing with the aftermath of the game and then having a conversation with Joshua.

    Neku couldn’t take sudden noises anymore.  It’d always been somewhat of a bother, and his music had helped him block out the little surprises that’d make him jump, the startle like a lightning bolt, but now it was agonizing.  It was as if at any time, he could be seized by the hand of death, freezing his blood like a blizzard.  Though he’d made a promise to himself to wear his headphones less, especially in public, it wasn’t easy.

    Shibuya was vibrant and busy, but it was also overwhelming.  There were times where after simply going to Mr. H’s cafe with Shiki or Beat and Rhyme would result in him having to go lay in bed for hours afterward, staring at the ceiling until he was able to think again.  His parents were worried.  They’d noticed that he was going out more, and generally seemed to be happier than before, but the exhaustion, the anxiety, those weren’t things he could hide.  He enjoyed spending time with his friends, but he wasn’t used to them.  He felt out of place, worried that he’d somehow mess up and they wouldn’t want to be with him anymore.

    He’d picked up an old acoustic guitar, and spent about thirty minutes trying to figure out how to tune it.  That was all he could bring himself to do for the day.  He checked his messages, and it was much of the same.  Shiki had sent an update on her most recent project with Eri, and was still trying to convince him to try it on.  He wasn’t adamantly against the idea, he just wasn’t sure if it was his thing.  He’d had to expand his fashion sense during the Game, and he wasn’t sure where to go with that now.  Was it something he wanted to pursue on his own, or did he want to be influenced by the people around him?

    Though Neku had avoided Udagawa like the plague, he still could see CAT’s art when he closed his eyes, peering over him as he stared up at the painted walls.  He wanted to see it again, as his mind could only replicate everything with a certain degree of accuracy, but the thought of going back made him feel sick, sick enough to rush to the bathroom and wait for it all to come up, but nothing was there.

    The Composer often lingered in his mind, interrupting his normal thought processes.  In this moment Neku was staring at the ceiling again, tapping his fingers to the beat of a song, when he suddenly remembered Joshua off-handedly mentioning that he liked it.  Neku took his headphones off.  He still hadn’t forgiven Joshua yet.  There was so much pain, so intense that even though those bullets left no scars now, he could still feel them.  He sat up, deciding that today he would face it.  He wasn’t sure why, but felt if he didn’t go to Udagawa now, these thoughts would never stop, haunting him like old ghosts over and over.

    On his way through Shibuya, he kept his headphones on around his neck, ready to put them on if necessary.  He walked past stores he’d come to know well, absentmindedly trying to spot the faces of the shopkeepers he’d spoken with over and over.  There were so many people.  Even though he couldn’t hear their thoughts anymore, it floored him how they all were living their own lives, their own narratives that he would never be privy to.  Their secret gardens.

    It was a conversation he thought back to at times.  He’d wondered if not being able to cross into someone’s garden was even a bad thing.  Was trying to understand someone enough, even if it wasn’t actually possible?  He felt he knew Shiki and Beat pretty well, and Rhyme and Eri to an extent.  His memories of Joshua though… Joshua at times felt completely alien yet familiar, almost like a trick mirror.

    Neku arrived at Udagawa, and saw that the art had changed significantly in his absence.  CAT’s work was still there, some of it new itself, but there were other artists who had added to the wall.  Nothing unusual, but the change made Neku’s chest feel heavy.  He was used to seeing everything shift gradually, not only see the end result.

    It was still beautiful, he decided, just different.  Still the same wall, marked by the same kinds of people.  He wondered if one day he would get some spray paint himself, though he had no idea what he could create.  It wasn’t a part of himself that he’d explored in a long time, not since… 

    Even now, he felt the empty space within his heart.  He still had the last message his friend had sent him on his phone. “See you there,” it’d read.  An interaction that had never been complete, a day that never happened.

    “Well, you’ve brought yourself back here, haven’t you?” A recognizably smug voice rose above the background noise of everyone else passing through.

    “Look at what the cat dragged outta the sewers,” Neku retorted dryly.  Joshua crossed his arms, but there was the tiniest hint of a smile on his face.  Neku was tense, but this relaxed him somewhat.  He figured Joshua hadn’t merely returned after what, months, simply to antagonize him.  Though he didn’t rule it out of the realm of possibility, “what brings you out here, anyway?” Joshua put a hand on his chin.

    “I was intrigued as to why you returned here.  It seems like a morbid place to go by yourself.  I thought that maybe you’d need supervision,” Joshua said.  Neku pulled at his hair, trying not to visibly give Joshua the satisfaction of annoying him.  Though he supposed that Joshua could read his mind, which agitated him further.

    “I don’t need- whatever, it’s just that I kept thinking about everything that happened.  I dunno if closure is exactly what I’m looking for, but it’s something like that, I think,” Neku shuffled his feet.  He was never especially good at reading people, but Joshua was always a special kind of enigma.

    “There’s nothing I can add to that.  You already know why I did what I did,” Joshua said, “neither of us can take that back.”

    “You can’t take that back.  All I did was survive,” Neku said.  He didn’t expect an apology, nor was he surprised by Joshua’s nonchalant attitude towards it all, but it still stung a little.

    “Oh come on Neku, we’ve both made mistakes,” Joshua said, wrapping a hand around his neck.  A flash of guilt washed over Neku, but he let it pass.  He’d talked about it a lot with Shiki after the game, though it was still something he’d never fully forgive himself over.  He’d found that he had a pattern of hurting people.  He’d finally stopped at his duel with Joshua, but still.  He wondered if that old self was buried within, ready to rise at any time.  I killed him- “Neku?  Locked up in that head of yours again?”

    “What would’ve happened if I’d shot you?” Joshua didn’t even flinch at the question.  But he wavered a little.

    “I would’ve been erased.  I would’ve lost that game, yknow.  That’s how the rules are,” he says.

    “I know, but-”

    “The UG would’ve been destroyed, but I can’t say I’d know what would happen after that,” Joshua says, “I can’t give you a real answer, even if I wanted to please you that way.”

    “So even you don’t know,” Neku said.

    “Yes Neku, you’re a fantastic listener,” Joshua replied.  His normal grin is back, though something about it seems off.

    “So why would you do that?  If you’d actually gone through with destroying Shibuya or whatever, it wouldn’t have mattered at all if I’d pulled the trigger or not.  Not much of a crossroad, really,” Neku put his hands on his headphones, contemplating putting them on.

    “It was all a game.  My bet with Megumi.  You were my proxy,” Joshua said, crossing his arms again.

    “What were you even trying to prove with me?  That I’m terrible and representative of Shibuya’s evils, or something?  I was just trying to live and help Beat get Rhyme back at that point.”

    “That’s spot on.”

    “Then did your proof involve me shooting you at the end?”

    “Yes.”

    “Then your plan would’ve killed you no matter what,” Neku said.

    “What do you mean?”

    “No UG means no Composer, right?”

    “Correct indeed.”

    “So you were planning on dying.” A silence settled over the two of them.

    “Well, I didn’t,” Joshua says.  Neku thought of how he initially saw the game as a dream that he dreaded the end of.  There was nothing he had to worry about other than missions, nobody to talk to but Shiki, nobody to nag him.  It was the closest he’d ever been to whatever his own ‘world view’ had been.

    “I can’t believe I’m saying this but,” Neku paused, wondering if it was even worth saying.  Joshua had killed him twice over, but still, “I’m glad you didn’t die.” Joshua narrowed his eyes.  The Composer wasn’t alive per se, but even he knew that wasn’t exactly what Neku had meant.

    “And that’s that,” Joshua said, turning away.

    “Don’t think I’m going to take that as an excuse.  You didn’t have to turn it into some big game with my life,” Neku said.

    “Well aren’t I alive because I did, based on your logic?” At this point, Neku wanted to tear out his hair.  Joshua was the same as always, so he didn’t know why he was expecting anything different.  But surely something had changed within the Composer, as he had preserved Shibuya and brought everyone back to life.

    “Dammit, do you even realize what all of that was like?  You killed me twice, and- and…” Neku trails off, shuddering.  Joshua’s hands ball up into fists and he stares at the ground for a moment, frowning.  He almost seems small, completely losing the aura of being something beyond the fifteen year old standing in the streets of Udagawa, the mural hanging over his head.  He straightens his posture and he’s the Composer again.

    “I do realize.  I’m not incapable of understanding pain,” Joshua says, “hmmm.  Maybe that worsens my case.” He turns to face Neku once again, who wants to back away, but doesn’t.

    “I guess it’s hard to keep going.  I’m not on my own anymore, at least.  Shibuya’s felt bigger than it ever has for me, and that’s exciting on one hand, but overwhelming.  There’s so many places I could go, but I also feel like something terrible is always on the horizon again,” Neku says.  He doesn’t know why he’s telling this to Joshua of all people.

    “Could I be the cause of that terrible something?  Is that what you fear?”

    “No.  I still don’t… I don’t know if I’ll ever fully forgive you really, but I trust that you won’t use me again.  I’d be lying if I said being around you doesn’t make me nervous, but I still trust you.  We were partners, right?” Neku says.  Joshua tilts his head.

    “Right, we were.”

[gamereaped]

❛ show me how much ya missed me. ❜ @ neku

@skullreaped ➜ submitted! ( hey so nsfw under the cut. )

          Beat had been away on a training outing prepping for competitions and Neku would be lying to himself if he were to try and claim he wasn’t hard. It actually wasn’t difficult at first. Neku would keep himself distracted with music and games along with other interests and work to pass the time.

But eventually it would hit him like a ton of bricks. Beat’s not there in person and Neku finds himself lonely. He doesn’t like the feeling of swirling emotions stirring up in his chest, dropping to his stomach but does everything in his power to ignore it. Or attempt to sedate it any chance he gets. Some nights he’s tempted to take advantage of their pact when it’s really rough, but he knows he’ll worry him. Beat’s always thinking of others, someone needs to put him first. So he doesn’t take advantage.

At least not while Beat’s out there chasing a new potential dream.

He’s thankful Beat left behind one of his favorite hoodies he could wear or cuddle up with during moments where he really missed him. Neku refuses to wash it, at least not while his person is away. His soulmate.  (  He didn’t even think he believed in those years ago, but the more he’s left to his thoughts; the more he realizes exactly how much Beat was made for him, to be his person; his other half.  )  He doesn’t want to risk losing his scent.

. . .

He must have dozed off at some point when next thing he realizes is that there’s a gentle touch to a hand brushing away locks of his hair from his face. At first, he’s unsure if his dreams are messing with him again. There’s been nights where he’s thought Beat has been there only to wake up to an empty bed.  (  When did his dreams start to feel so real?  )  But when he feels actual heat against his cheek, his eyes shoot open.

Beat’s home! Beat’s actually there! Neku can’t even try and hide his excitement when it’s like a sudden rush of life returning to his body. He shoots up and lunges himself that if Beat hadn’t already been on the bed, they would have had a painful falling to the floor. The hoodie he’d been wearing  (  that was absolutely too big for Neku to properly wear.  )  slides down his shoulders and drape his body, but he doesn’t care. He’s too busy scrambling to get on top of Beat, hearing his laughter and amused reaction sends off butterflies in his stomach.

It starts with Neku peppering kisses all over his face, wanting to feel how real Beat was in the moment. Needing him to know exactly how much he missed him. Neku doesn’t stop there, after he manages to kiss all over his face, lips, neck, down to his shoulders; fingers grip something tight against the clothing in his way.

Missed ya, too.

His voice is music to his ears. Neku just about goes shy when he sees exactly how those eyes are looking at him. How it feels like they’re on the same page again astounds him. It’s like their thoughts are the same. Neku can’t help but feel giddy  (  he’s on cloud nine and there’s no way he’s ever coming down again.  )  Asking Beat about his time away at the retreat would have to wait. Even Beat seemed to have other plans when he captures Neku’s face and returns the deep, heated kissing.

It’s like the first time all over again. It’s as if they haven’t had the chance to feel each other in years. There’s so much time to make up for with the week he’s been away.

. . .

Clothing is gone and they’re getting lost in skin-to-skin. Not a single spot is missed on either side. Beat has Neku on the bed, Neku shifts himself to better adjust and curve into the heated and needy touches he’s starved for. A hand rests over his mouth to try and stifle the many sounds longing to escape with each pleasured touch and kiss to his shoulder blades, down his spine, back up to his neck, everywhere.

But his hand is moved and pinned to the bed, Beat’s hovered over him from behind, whispering sweet nothings against the rim of his ear and all Neku can do is dig fingers against the bedding. They missed each other. Neku missed him so much. He’s so out of it getting lost in the physical touches and kisses that he doesn’t realize Beat’s moved off of him until Neku falls onto the bed and pouts when the actions have stopped.

“ Beat.... “ he grumbles under his breath, almost breathless, head buried into the pillow before he turns and see that he’s now on his usual side of the bed, reaching over to encourage Neku to sit on top of him, which he gladly follows through when he realizes what’s going on.

Show me how much ya missed me.

Neku looks so good hovered over him, his expression screams want, eyes darkened with desire and Beat can see that it’s for him. Neku wants him to see. Neku needs him to see.

“ I missed you s-so much, “ hands fumble to find some place to rest, heavy petting shifts when Neku reaches down under him, taking hold of Beat and giving him a few strokes. He can feel Beat’s arousal against his back, Neku’s wasting no more time; he doesn’t care. He’s going to show him how much he missed him and makes the connection, positioning himself better so he can take Beat in full.

Mouth gasps against his boyfriend’s and he’s so lost in their reunion that he doesn’t make out the smug response Beat seemed to have.  (  If he did, Neku would have whacked him, or something.  )  Neku pauses for a moment, his body is trying to adjust but the way Beat digs his fingers against his waist is motivation enough for him to roll his hips, summoning blissful moans of pure pleasure from both ends.

Beat’s completely on his back, Neku’s on top and can’t hold back anymore, his own hands seek refuge against his perfectly toned chest and uses him to keep him up and supported. Their connection is spark inducing, sending him off that he doesn’t want to stop. He can’t stop. With each roll of his hips; harder; faster, and Beat’s encouragement. His mind is going blank and all he can do is fall deeper and deeper into the pleasure of being full of Beat.

“ I missed you....I missed you.....I missed you..... “

It’s difficult to get out properly, his hands shift and move to cup his face as he falls over, hips refusing to stop their movement  (  especially when Beat syncs up and gives the right thrust and roll in return summoning blissful moans from Neku’s lips.  )  but Beat can absolutely make out what Neku’s trying to say even when their mouths are busy kissing each other hungrily.

There’s no denying how much both missed one another.

Neku rises slowly, nails dragging down the chest to his stomach leaving red trails behind and the response is another good push into him which forces his body to arch and bend back, wanting to get more, needing more of that sweet spot to be hit just right.

From Beat’s angle, Neku’s the most erotic he’s ever seen. He doesn’t want this to stop at any point soon. Neku gasps when he feels one of the hands reaching between them and working over his own arousal. He doesn’t think he’s going to be able to last long at this rate.

Neku’s perfectly content with unraveling by Beat’s hands.

[ichika27]

Some Thoughts on Beat and Rhyme

These are some random thoughts I had about these two a few days ago. I had to get this out somewhere before it doesn’t let me sleep at 3am again lol. Some angsty stuff came to mind suddenly and here they are!

Spoilers ahead.

About Rhyme’s Entry Fee and the aftermath

The game didn’t outright say it but it was hinted and the anime gave a bit more hints and Shiki even mentioning it in episode 11: Rhyme’s Entry Fee were her dreams. Rhyme says she didn’t have any and Beat seems upset about that. Beat even says Rhyme has a future which he felt he took away when he, in a way, got her killed and then erased after she saved him. Since Rhyme got erased in Week 1, it meant she lost and even when she got revived, she isn’t getting her Entry Fee back anymore. This made me think, “What happens after that?”. Mr. Hanekoma mentioned in the Secret Reports that she’d get new ones in time (and from the spoilers I’ve seen of NEO, it seems she’s found it which is cool).

It’s just... it made me wonder what it was like after they got revived. Rhyme doesn’t have dreams anymore. She probably had things in her home that had something to do with her old dreams but now that she had none, I wonder what she felt like seeing them. Did it feel empty? Detached? Like she remembers what it must’ve felt like for the old her but now she couldn’t feel the same anymore. Her motivations? Her next step? I’m sure her parents would notice it, too. Beat would too and he’d probably feel guilty. He’d probably hope Rhyme doesn’t end up like him not knowing where to go in life cause she lost her dreams. I wonder if he ever thinks Rhyme might be mad at him although Rhyme would probably never say it and probably wouldn’t complain either cause she’s a tough girl.

But still, it makes me wonder.

About Beat’s Entry Fee and a ‘What if’ Reversal

What if Beat was the one who got eaten by the Shark noise?

If the reapers targeted Rhyme instead and Beat was able to jump in at the right moment to push Rhyme out of the way. He’d probably smile for a moment knowing that this time, he was able to save Rhyme successfully unlike when they died. Rhyme would be devastated though and would try to get him back cause they’re partners, they’re friends, and he saved her. She still doesn’t know he’s her brother.

Who knows how the rest of the long game would end up with Rhyme being the survivor. Would she have become a reaper? How would she fare in Week 3 as Neku’s partner?

Anyways, that’s not my biggest question.

Rhyme’s memory of Beat was Beat’s Entry Fee. She sees him as a stranger but unlike Neku’s amnesia, Rhyme knows she’s got a big brother.

She has memories of her big brother and even remembers his personality as she tells Shiki that he’s a nice guy. She didn’t seem to have any issues either as she doesn’t say anything about not remembering his face or anything. It seems she just couldn’t associate Beat with the idea of her big brother. I guess specifically, Beat’s Entry Fee is him being Rhyme’s big brother and with that, her recognition of him as such.

Now imagine if Beat got erased in Week 1. He lost and alongside that, he loses that Entry Fee. He’s brought back at the end when Joshua changes his mind about erasing Shibuya and bringing back those he wanted to bring back but Beat can’t get his Entry Fee returned anymore. Rhyme still doesn’t recognize him.

Can you imagine how awkward and awful that’d be for both of them?

Rhyme comes back to life and finds out that Beat, her friend and game partner, is actually her brother. Their parents recognizes him as such and their family photos at home show Beat in her brother’s place. But whenever she thinks of her brother, she can’t see it as Beat. She could remember her brother’s face but for some reason even if there are similarities, she can’t think of the person in her memory as Beat. I wonder if the feeling is like replacing someone you know with a stranger?

I’m sure it won’t be that bad as time passed by and it’s not gonna be hard to think of Beat as a sibling but still... the past memories that are messed up cause of this would probably sorta haunt her. She would think of her big brother and then remind herself that the brother is Beat and he’s here and she doesn’t have to look for someone else who would look more familiar and feel more like the brother she knew.

Just... the thought is messed up. Kinda lucky this wasn’t what happened, I guess.

--

Yeah, this is all I got for now, I think. These thoughts went into my head at like, 3am and I couldn’t sleep yet. Haha weird thoughts...

[pmiller1]

Seasonal Birthday! [N:TWEwY/Neo Zeta Earth]

Shiki Birthday Fic. Yeah, it two day early to her Birthday (12th of October), I can’t help myself, you can read on that day. So here it is early.

Also thank some poor anon for the beta reading in 4chan. I’m sorry for that!

---

On her 16th, she never felt like celebrating her birthday. Sure Eri, Beat and Rhyme did treat her to a dessert, but it wasn’t too long after everything, that one person that she cared for the most, Neku Sakuraba, her close friend and the one that deemed her important, was killed  by someone that Beat called Miss Chiff.

Even his body was nowhere to be found. She looked outside the window hoping that she could see that spiky orange hair with his purple Jupiter of the Monkey clothing, hoping he could come over and visit from the Reaper Game, hoping that he could be here with her.

Each of them talked about what Neku could have given her if he was still alive, she herself said it could be some pocket mirror, since she started to have a habit of looking at herself in the mirror, just to remind herself of who she is.

On her 17th, it wasn’t a celebration of her birthday but more a celebration of their brand becoming an official brand - Gatto Nero, with her Mr. Mew becoming the face and mascot. Each of their friends came up to them and congratulated the two for their hard work making the dream come true, Eri being the talkative one, did most of the talking, while Shiki hung out with Beat and Rhyme, both of them wishing her a happy birthday (well Rhyme did, Beat was fighting for the last slice of cake with Mina).

Shiki and Rhyme did wonder if Neku had done anything to make their brand work, more when she started making pins in her off time. Pins she would wildly imagine what kind of Psych they would be when Neku would use them, hoping that he would use them well. Like a gift to him, but also to those in the Game.

Of course Rhyme asked what she thinks he would give her for her birthday. She said he could give her some art supplies along with a sketch notebook, mostly for her drawing work, to move what she imagined onto paper, then just pins and clothing. (Along with some fashion design ideas.)

On her 18th, it was more to celebrate her being an adult (even if she still was in 3rd year), along with moving out of her parents' old apartment into a rich penthouse in the Shibuya with Eri (it was more of moving into her penthouse), her best friend and business partner that had the party at said penthouse.

Regardless, she was with Rhyme and Beat, who was listening to music on his new headphones, in his getup with a mask on his face, mostly to help him skate without swallowing a fly like that one time. If it wasn’t for his blonde hair, she could've thought that he was Neku for a moment. Sure she knew that Beat wasn’t trying to be him or doing it to make her feel better, but it was clear that he missed Neku more than her. It's been over two years and he still hasn't made it out of the Reaper Game.

Part of her wondered if he was even in the Game at all, even looking at where Shinjuku once was. Man, she never realized the penthouse was looking at Shinjuku before, she wondered if Eri even remembered some part of Shinjuku, unlike her, Beat and Rhyme, who remembered Shinjuku was once there. She came asking what he was listening to, he talked to her and he wondered if Neku would have given her some set of music if he was here with her. She thinks he would.

On her 19th....

“Hey, you're okay?” he said, making her look back from the balcony to him, his spiky orange hair wearing that coat of her own brand.

“Oh yeah, I’m alright, just deep in thought.” she told him, as she looked towards the city with him beside her. “It's been three years and this is the 1st time you came for my birthday.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” he told her and she turned back to repay. “Hey now, it's alright. It wasn’t your fault that you never came.”

“I know.” He said, pulling out a small box from his rucksack that he took off. One of Jupiter of the Monkey's, she thinks it was called Naraka Rucksack. “Here.”

“What's this?” she asked. “Open it. You’ll see.” he told her, she was a little confused, since he already gave her a gift for her birthday: he and Shoka have made a stuffed swallow for her named ‘Ayano’, to pair up with Mr. Mew. She opened it and it was…

“No way.” she said, pulling out a small mirror, it was cat shaped and green.

“Neku, this is—”

“Happy 16th Birthday Shiki.” he said smiling. She looked at him as if he had lost his mind, she was about to tell him that it's not her 16th birthday before he moved back to his rucksack, pulling out another present.

“Hah?” she said, took the present, she wasn’t sure what was going on, wasn’t one good enough? She opened the next present and—

“Some art supplies and a sketch notebook!” she yelped out, once she saw what it was. “Neku, what is—”

“Happy 17th Birthday Shiki.” he told her. And it made her realize just what he was doing. Her eyes got all wet.

“Hicc. Neku. You…” she said to him, but she couldn’t hold it in and she started crying.

“And Happy 18th Birthday Shiki.” He said already holding out a CD, all the songs by Stephanie Topalian. But at this point she was already moving to hug him, crying into his chest. It's almost like the time when he came back to her some months ago. “Thank you.” she whispered.

“Want to make up for all the birthdays I've missed.” he told her, hugging her back. “You’re welcome Shiki.”

“But how?” she asked him, looking up to him. “How did you know what I wanted from you during those days?” “Rhyme.” He said, rubbing his neck. “I asked her what should I get for you and she just told me what you'd think I would get if I was around during those days.”

“So that stuffed swallow…?” she asked him. “To be fair, I did help her make the stuffed bird,” he told her. “So it kind of counted as my gift to you.”

“But let's be real here, you already got your gift for 19th from me already, right?” he said to her.

She moved closer, wrapping her arms around his neck, their noses touching. “You’re right. I got your gift early this year.”

“And that gift is me, right?”

“Yep, I've got you back.”

[zettareaped]

@psychreaped​ asked: 

" You're here, " his voice is almost shaking, tone clearly trying to hold down the panic of the nightmare he's shot up from. He didn't realize he found himself climbing over Beat's lap, arms wrap around and cling to him as if his very livelihood depended on it in that exact moment. There's a deep breath, face is hiding in the crook of his neck. His scent is real, his skin is real, he's real. Beat's real. He reminds himself. Wanting nothing more than to place the mask back on and say I'm fine but he knows Beat knows better.

So he places a kiss against his neck, his fingers dig into the fabric of his shirt from behind, he's kissing up, mouth trailing over jawline until he finally finds the other lips, capturing it for a desperate kiss.

Distract me. The action is begging. For now, make me forget.

Another kiss, hands cannot stay still as they reach up and capture Beat's face, thumbs brushing over cheeks. Ignore his shaking, ignore the tremble of trauma forcing the mask to shatter.

" You're right here. "

If Beat listens hard enough, he can hear the light choke in the back of his throat, frightened tears escape and slide down his face. / hi beat

     It was late evening, the two of them having decided to sprawl across the couch in front of the television to watch a movie together. He wasn’t sure when Neku had fallen asleep next to him, half curled up against the corner of the arm, but Beat hadn’t minded. He knew how little sleep that Neku got, knew how important it was for him to rest. Plus, the movie that they were watching was pretty good, and he wasn’t going to turn down a good movie! 

     At least that was until Neku was shooting up, causing Beat to practically jump out of his skin before he was suddenly hearing what Neku was saying as he climbs over into his lap and is against him so tight that it was almost like they were fused. Even before he had realized that Neku had just had a nightmare, Beat’s arms were around him, pulling him in close to him. It isn’t until he was feeling the way Neku trembles under his hands, the rattled puffs of hot air against his neck as those shaking lips begin to trail up along his skin. Beat’s senses are heightened and he is pulling Neku impossibly close as their lips finally meet. 

     He kisses him back, and it’s slow and gentle but firm enough to remind him that he is here, that whatever was happening inside of his dream wasn’t real and that Beat is here to ground him like a tree with it’s roots sunk deep into the Earth’s core. One hand finds itself tangling in the ginger locks of hair, holding Neku close to him as their lips work together. The desperation in Neku’s voice, in the way that he clings to him, the way that he kisses him-- Beat can feel it all. 

     When he pulls away, it isn’t because he’s moving away, but instead moving to lay Neku back against the couch, keeping close to him so that he can feel him there, solid and present and warm. Calloused hands come up, cupping Neku’s cheeks and thumbs gentle wipe away the tears that leak from his eyes, his forehead knocking gently against the smaller male’s. 

     “I gotchu.” he says softly, lips seeking out Neku’s once more with a loving embrace as he hovers over him. He finds himself mumbling against Neku’s mouth, wanting to make sure that he knew he wasn’t going to be left in this moment, in any moment. Never again. 

     “I gotchu, Phones. I’m here an’ I ain’t goin’ anywhere.” 

[ganymedesclock]

I kinda wanna hear your thoughts on NiGHTS, if you don't mind me asking. I just really like your speculation/headcanon posts!

I have great affection and great frustration for NiGHTS, honestly.

There’s a lot to love about the series. It’s got exquisite visuals and a really cool concept. While the gameplay isn’t completely my cup of tea, I think it’s a novel innovation. The designs of Nights and Reala, their bond and conflict, are really interesting and Wizeman’s a pretty impressive chunk of cosmic horror. I even feel like some of the dislike of Owl in JoD was unwarranted; yes, he was made the face of the slightly clumsy tutorial mechanism but it’s hard for me to not care a little that Nights, who is privately lonely in ways they seem disinclined to admit to anyone, clearly has some mutual fondness for this fussy bird dad.

But I definitely feel like the games have their problems- and I’ll focus here mostly on JoD because I feel like NiD itself was a pretty minimalist piece flying more on emotion than deep lore and it was successful in that regard.

I feel like JoD in particular struggled to decide if this was a story about Nights and Reala or a story about Will and Helen, and while they could’ve made room for both, it would’ve required more integration than they pulled off, and it ultimately weakens both narratives. 

Nights never really meaningfully reaches a conclusion with Reala. They get angry enough to hurt him, feel bad about it, Reala goes on to take their new friends hostage, and Nights gets angry again and, seemingly, finishes Reala off, either personally, or indirectly because their attempt to kill Wizeman would affect Reala too. Even the nature of their sacrifice is hampered here because they don’t really sell us on what it is about Will and Helen that makes things so different. I take issue with the short-lived archie Nights’ comic’s invention about the “two perfect dreamers born once a century” but it at least explains all the hullabaloo about these specific people. I don’t mean that to be callous- but there has to be a reason Nights makes their stand here and now, even if it’s for internal reasons rather than Will and Helen, and we don’t get a sense of why that is.

Will and Helen themselves have the seeds of interesting or compelling problems, but they aren’t really brought home either. The conclusions they make don’t really feel of a piece with the nature of their issues. We don’t really find out what about Helen is ‘fragile’, and you have to read into things to see the contrast between Will’s lonely, ‘abandoned playground’-like second dream and the vibrant potential of his third dream, this fear that if you can’t grow up people will leave you behind in childhood.

JoD takes from its roots in NiD that it is good at evoking emotions. Many of the ‘major beat’ cutscenes land with really impressive intensity and evocative qualities! I can vividly call to mind Nights and Reala’s argument in Delight City or Reala circling Helen menacingly in Memory Forest. 

But I feel like the devil’s in the details. Frustratingly often for me, these vibrant splashes of story were followed up by, like... hey kids, it’s time to chase Octopaw around in circles again! This is in-universe and out a completely pointless exercise! Let’s save some Nightopians from Wizeman, never once examining or explaining what Wizeman wants with them!

I try not to gripe too hard on Wizeman’s inscrutability because he as a character at least resonates with it- that he’s only a handful of ominous details in the dark actually kind of works for his character and the jawdropping beauty of the Unconscious Space and Will and Helen’s respective leaps of faith into the sea of darkness is contrasted by a profound sense of unease. Why is this space simultaneously so real and unreal? If Nights lands on a real-world building at the end of the game, sure, they’re alive, but is that a good thing, if they’re inextricably connected to Wizeman and Wizeman seems to be clawing at the veil between dream and waking?

Again, this is not a frustration of I hate these games. It’s a frustration of, I really love these games, but they feel like a vivid concept padded into existence with inconsistent flesh where the most interesting workings of both worlds- the real world emotional problems, and the dream world’s politics and potential fate under Wizeman’s onslaught- struggle because they’re ramming into each other at cross purposes rather than intertwining and facilitating/shoring each other up. There is some unbelievably premium good shit in NiD and JoD both but the experience of those glorious moments is undercut with the disappointment of going straight from that, to, octopaw. Nights do you wanna talk to Owl about how you unhealthily use harassing this octopus as a way to run away from serious emotional talks? No?

All of this has been a big reason why I’m looking forwards to Balan Wonderworld eagerly, because, Balan Wonderworld seems to be doing the spirit of what NiGHTS was as a series, and directly answering some of the problems of JOD. The human-side dynamics are spiced up with the chapters each having their own stars-of-the-day, and we’re digging into more raw emotional territory than stage fright or a nebulous insecurity growing up- just the three released so far are dealing with unexpected catastrophe bringing ruin to months of hard work, an accident leading to medical problems and a sense of betrayal, and the ‘pettiest’ problem, interpersonal rejection, is easily the most heartbreaking because it showcases how little self-confidence that afflicted person had. 

Balan’s more mature position as a maestro and a hands-off sort of narrator figure while Leo and Emma take center stage means that I don’t mind as much when the kids get focus- in JoD, while Will and Helen were kids, Nights seemed like a teenager who was disconcertingly willing to throw themselves under the bus for friends they met yesterday and this wasn’t really framed as a bad thing. With Balan, I feel like even if Balan does at some point in the narrative sacrifice himself to advance Leo and Emma, it’d play to very different tropes- the removal of the magic feather or mentor, as a lesson you have to fly on your own.

(and, Balan is an integral part of the Wonderworld itself, and I have reason to suspect Lance would have a vested interest not fully ‘removing’ him even if they at some point separated him from Leo and Emma)

The kids themselves are also shored up in terms of intrigue. I’m really excited for square enix’s involvement, because they’ve produced a few stories that dig at emotions, and taking characters from the stock of, say, Neku and Shiki from World Ends With You, who Leo and Emma have passing resemblance to (a boy who lost a friend and became disillusioned and closed off, a girl who’s ebullient and sociable and more than a little insincere in it, hiding an insecure, lonely core) I think this is very promising.

That doesn’t mean I am abandoning all love for the NiGHTS series or that I think it’s garbage compared to Balan Wonderworld, especially since they have different themes and motifs and one isn’t even out yet, but I think that it’s interesting how, to my eye, the Wonderworld game seems like a sort of continuation or refinement upon JoD- that NiGHTS in some ways seems to be an inspiration bedrock for this new theater adventure.

Ultimately even if Balan Wonderworld is everything I hope for and more, there’s always going to be a place in my heart for NiGHTS, though. (I mean, hell, Nights themselves was an instrumental force in me figuring out my own relationship with gender.) 

(and, once the game DOES come out, I feel like I’m certainly not the only one who’s gonna want to write crossover fic.)

TL;DR I love the nightmare jesters from the absolute bottom of my heart but I just wish we had a little more plot to squeeze loose.

[drakefeathers]

anyway this is the beginning of my twewy fic that’s been consuming me for the past month. it’s like. almost 11k now. i'm so close but the last 5% goes the slowest always. neo spoilers obvs.

--

The route is a little different each time, but it follows the same rhythm. He hits up the usual spots—the scramble, Hachiko, 104. The mural in Udagawa. Then over to Cat Street, and always ending at the river, looking down into the dark entrance of that tunnel.

He’ll mix it up in between, depending on how the mood strikes. Take a loop through Dogenzaka, linger around Center Street or roll through the park. Headphones on, music playing, he keeps it loose and lets his board lead the way, hoping it’ll take him to what he’s looking for.

Scramble’s as crowded as ever today. Beat steps off his board and crosses on foot to avoid crashing into anybody. As he moves along with the stream of pedestrians he keeps an eye out for a pair of headphones, Jupiter brand clothing, a bright head of hair on a scrawny frame—the kind of familiar things that could use a second look.

In the middle of the crossing, he stops. Someone bumps into him, but he stands firm, and the crowd flows around him. He closes his eyes and focuses on screaming one thought as loud as he can in his mind, loud enough to drown out all the noise in this city. 

Loud enough that if someone was out there, listening, they couldn’t help but hear him.

A moment goes by. Beat opens his eyes again and keeps walking, stepping onto the curb just as the walk signal blinks over to red.

—

The three of them used to search Shibuya together, at the beginning. But that was a long time ago. Now each of them does their own thing. Beat likes it better this way—alone, he can cover more ground faster on his board. And he can roll with each hit of disappointment as it comes, easier than shielding someone else from it.

Most days he’ll find Shiki by Hachiko. She brings homework or a sketchpad and sits on the railing nearest to the statue, working, but mostly waiting. They don’t always talk—sometimes there isn’t much to say, and he’ll just give a nod as he glides by.

It hurts to see her sitting there. Makes it tough to ignore that hollow feeling in his chest when the same yearning is written clear on her face. Every few minutes she’ll look up and scan the crowds around her with a kind of quiet hope, then lower her gaze again in resignation. The same motion over and over, day after day.

They’ve never brought it up, but Beat knows she can feel it just as much as him, that Neku isn’t erased. That connection from their pact never disappeared, not completely. When they fought the Noise together in the UG it blazed like an inferno, since returning to the RG it’s dwindled down to a spark. But it’s not gone, and neither is Neku. He isn’t even that far away. 

He feels so near that Beat can’t shake the sense that the next time he looks over his shoulder he might see Neku there, looking back at him.

Shiki isn’t waiting outside today, but Beat spots her in the nearby cafe, sitting at the counter against the window, facing the square. Her stuffed animal is placed on the tabletop where it can be easily seen. Shiki smiles brightly at Beat and waves at him through the glass, and he waves back and heads inside.

“I heard it was going to rain soon, so I snagged a seat in here,” Shiki says as he sits down on the stool next to her. She pushes over a plate with an untouched half of a sandwich. “Here, you can finish this if you want.”

Beat’s not going to say no to that. Shiki sketches a bit frantically on her tablet while he eats. At one point she lets out a stressed little sigh and scrubs at the screen to erase half her work. 

“Whatchu got there?” Beat asks. 

“I’m finishing some new concepts for our winter collection. We got funding to double the size of the launch, if you can believe it. I’m hoping we can fit a few more items in.”

“Winter? But it ain’t even summer yet.”

“I know, I’m super behind, actually.” She taps on the screen and pulls up a picture of a plaid coat, smiling at it fondly. “I think Neku would like this one, don’t you? Maybe he’ll be able to wear it in the UG.”

The figure she drew doesn’t even have a face, but it’s Neku. Something about the tilt of the head, the line of its outstretched arm… Beat can’t pinpoint it exactly. He has no idea how Shiki does that, or if she’s even aware.

“Ever since we got the shop in 104, I sometimes think… what if he just walked in one day?” Shiki confesses. She adjusts her glasses as she looks up and gazes out the window hopefully. “I mean… I guess it could happen.”

Beat takes a quick glance over his shoulder. “Yeah. I know what you mean.”

“Anyway, how’s Rhyme? I’ve been so busy, I haven’t talked to her in a while.”

“Good. Busy, too, burnin’ through all those computer courses she’s taking. She’s always holed up in her room, and I don’t understand half of what she’s talking ‘bout these days.”

“She’s still trying to find a way to hack into the UG, right?” Shiki taps a finger against her chin thoughtfully. “That would be amazing. Is it even possible?”

“If anyone can do it, it’s her,” says Beat, his pride clouded with worry, because, honestly, he wishes she wouldn’t. He hates the idea of Rhyme getting mixed up with the Reapers again, even from behind a computer.

“What about you, what have you been up to?” Shiki asks.

“Nothin’ new,” he says with a shrug. “Hittin’ the streets, like usual. Been a long time since I seen anyone from the UG, though.”  

“Besides that.” There’s a concerned crinkle between her eyebrows. “How’s school? Or— are things at home any better?”

Beat smiles. “It is what it is, like my sis’d say.” He stands and slings his bag over his shoulder. “I gotta bounce, yo. Later, Shiki.”

“Bye, Beat. Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow.”

—

Some event is going on at 104 this afternoon, the entrance is blocked by a crowd of excited teenagers. Beat gives them a wide berth as he takes his usual quick pass by the building, watching the bustling shoppers and the big video screen for signs of anything suspicious that might hint at the Reapers being up to some shit again. He doesn’t spend a lot of time around here, it’s always too busy, and Shiki’s got this one covered.

There’s a lot of people carrying shopping bags from her store today. He’s happy she’s making her dream come true. She was so torn up with guilt over it for so long, even though they all know it’s what Neku would’ve wanted. It sucks that he isn’t around to see it.

Beat tries not to dwell on these kind of thoughts—there’s no point to it, and it’s not his style, better to keep moving—but as he heads up Center Street he passes a group of friends standing outside a photo booth, laughing loudly over the pictures they’d just taken, enjoying their day together, and he’s freshly gut-punched with how fucking unfair it is. 

They won that game. They’d made it out. They were *good*. For those few short weeks, it had really felt like things were going to work out.

Coming back to life had been like a second chance. He and Rhyme were closer than ever, and he had some new friends, forged in fire. His parents were actually a bit better when he got home from the “hospital”, distraught after nearly losing both their kids, and they were cutting him some breaks for once. He even tried pretty hard with school again, and did alright on a few tests.

Not that it was all great. He’s still haunted by that lost look on Rhyme’s face as she sat cross-legged on her bedroom floor their first day back home, her old diary open on her lap, flipping through half-blank pages. “There’s nothing here,” she’d said quietly, with a heartbreaking kind of acceptance.

Beat stood in the doorway, his shaking hands clenched uselessly into fists. “I’m sorry,” he choked out. His vision blurred with tears, and he fought them back, knowing he didn’t have the right. He shouldn’t be crying, he wasn’t the one to lose something precious.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Rhyme stood and gave him a comforting hug that he knew he didn’t deserve. He was probably holding her too tightly, still trying to convince himself that it was real, that she was really there, but she didn’t complain. “All that matters is that we’re together.” After he finally managed to let her go, she went and picked up the diary from the floor, shutting it with a clap. “It’s a closed door. I just have to find my window.”

Rhyme smiled then, small but determined, and Beat knew she would be all right. She always finds a way to face forward. And, for the first time, he felt like maybe he was, too.

It was nice, for a while. But it sure as hell didn’t last. 

Now he moves through this city on an endless loop. His grades are trash, his parents barely speak to him except to complain about what a disappointment he is, and he spends too many nights awake trying to outrun nightmares on his skateboard, which just makes the rest of it worse.

But none of that really matters. Not school, definitely not what his parents think of him. The only worthwhile things he’d ever done had been with Neku. They saved Rhyme together, and this whole city. Beat owes him everything. He’ll be damned if he lets his best bud just slip through the cracks of reality. He’s gonna keep looking, no matter how long it takes.

[oveliagirlhaditright]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33155107

Of all the people in the Hachiko Group, aside from Neku… the person that Joshua had always valued the most, was Rhyme. Neo spoilers.

The Joshyme here is platonic, but you can see it as romantic if you want.

Beam of Sunshine

Of all the people in the Hachiko Group, aside from Neku… the person that Joshua had always valued the most, was Rhyme.

And so, he supposed it was a good thing he’d brought her back to life, when he really hadn’t had to, then.

And there were a few reasons for that he did love her… It was for the fact that the clever girl could keep up with him (so much so that she had said she’d known he was the smart one in the Tin Pin universe, when he’d rightly called her out on being a traitor)… for her laughing at his jokes at her brother’s expense (though she did clearly love Beat more than anything)… and since they could think alike sometimes.

Joshua had heard Rhyme thinking during her week of the Game, that everyone in Shibuya’s values were trying to come in the loudest, much like how he had later said it was impossible for people to understand each other.

…Rhyme was also nice. Much too kind for her own good, really, and he hated to see when she got taken advantage of (and almost wanted to give her a stern talking to when these moments happened). And Joshua knew that that was a lot of the reason he adored about her, since part of the reason he’d wanted to destroy Shibuya was because of its sin, after all.

But the reason he was making himself known to the girl now? And preparing to compliment her? It was because he owed her, that’s why.

At the moment, Rhyme was buying herself an ice cream cone at Miyashita Park. And while Josh himself didn’t like the stuff, he thought Rhyme certainly deserved the treat, if she herself did. “All work and no play made Rhyme a dull girl,” like she had told Beat earlier in the week.

Making sure that no one was watching him, Joshua sat on the bench beside the younger Bito sibling, willed himself into the RG, and touched Rhyme’s hand, so that she would know he was there.

…Though he supposed he shouldn’t have done the latter, because that seemed to startle the girl more than anything. She nearly jumped forty feet into the air, Joshua thought (quite impressive, for a non-flier) and her heart rate had gone quite high. Joshua was almost worried she’d have to start playing the Game again, if it shot up any more, and that just wouldn’t do.

He held up a hand and offered her a small smile to try and calm her down. “Sorry to startle you, Raimu. I admit, I could have gone about that all a bit better… This whole thing I’m about to do is largely out of character, and I’m out of my depth.”

“C-can I help you, then?” Rhyme breathed. Her heart calming down, as she caught her breath and cautiously took a seat beside the Composer.

Joshua could hardly blame her for her caution. Because while they had hung-out a little bit in the past, it had been three years since they had seen each other last, really. And he doubted she remembered when she’d been soul fragments in Traverse Town.

“After all, two people working as opposed to one lightens the load!” Rhyme carried on.

Joshua smirked and “hmmed” at her comment. Because he could have expected that she would use an adage, but for some reason he never would have guessed she would have directed one at him. Was he becoming too human for her to have done that, or was he not enough human, that he thought the little ray of sunshine wouldn’t try to win him over with her words, too?

“Normally, Raimu, I would take you up on the offer. And it’s quite nice of you to ask… But not now, when what I’m here for is quite simple. Just know that I’m here to tell you… I’m proud of you. And these words don’t leave my mouth easily. I don’t think I’ve ever even spoken so candidly with Neku. But… while I don’t know if I necessarily want you hacking my Game ever again, young lady.”

And somehow, Rhyme had it within her to first look guilty for what she’d done, but then also challenging—as if thinking that she would do it again, if she needed to—and Joshua, despite himself, found himself respecting her all the more for it. He resisted the urge to pat her head, for the good little girl she was.

But she was so much more than that, too, wasn’t she? And that was why he was here.

Forming an arch with his fingers, and placing it over his forehead, Yoshiya continued on. “But you really helped to save the day. Shibuya would not be standing now, were it not for your efforts. And that is something. Hacking is not the dream you originally had. You lost your dreams—your original Entry Fee—but you didn’t wallow in despair, but instead filled in that hole with something new, and saved the day when duty called… And if I didn’t know any better, I’d be thinking that maybe I should be calling upon you when the UG needs someone, and not Neku anymore.”

Rhyme gasped at that. And while Joshua was very much not human—especially not now. The Composer had come out to play at this moment. Joshua had never meant to make that proposition to Rhyme… and to get “creepy”, and so “god of death-like”, as it were, but perhaps Yoshiya had all along—he could allow her being so human as to be shocked, as he tried to get a handle on this horrible situation he’d just screwed up, when he’d just come to give the poor kid a solid… not give her cardiac arrest. Really.

After she had gotten her breath once more, it seemed it was Rhyme’s turn to surprise Joshua. The girl’s ice cream was starting to melt: again, this was Joshua’s own fault, for having such a conversation with Rhyme, when she was eating such a substance. And he comforted himself in the fact that it was vanilla ice cream (white), at least, matching his shirt. If the disgusting, overly-sweet gelatinous stuff got on his top, as Raimu leaned towards him now, he should be able to get the stain out with his powers, just fine.

“…Not that I’d ever really want to go back to anything involving the Game, if I had the choice, Joshua. I enjoy being a hacker, thank you very much. And I think I might try to work for the NPA… I have been thinking about it some… and if it ever came down to it, I wouldn’t mind trying to ascend to try and help everyone, if I needed to. But only then! Because where there’s no light, be the light, right? Kind of like I was the other da-.”

And here Joshua had to put a hand to the girl’s lips to keep her from finishing that sentence. What a minx Raimu Bito was! Who would have guessed it?! Because, yes: the lonely part of him would have been far too happy to find a way to make her into an angel now, so he could have someone with him forever; it was the same way that he desperately wanted Neku to be his Conductor.

Well, Joshua supposed he deserved this temptation for getting as off-track as he had. He tried to grab control now—as he got off the bench, backed away from Rhyme, and bowed to her slightly… which was all too weird, because even this was how Japanese politeness worked (Joshua knew it well), he couldn’t help feeling, she should have been bowing to him, and not the other way around. But he would stifle that feeling. “I, uhh… apologize I guess, Rhyme Bito. Thank you again for your assistance. But do keep out of the RNS, unless I specifically ask.”

Rhyme had sobered up now, too. And was somehow gracefully licking at all the melting spots on her ice cream cone, to try and salvage it so she wouldn’t have a complete mess, before she waved at him, “And thank youfor showing up and helping us, Josh! I know Neku doesn’t show it that much—still more than he used to back in the day, though—but it meant more to him than you know… And thanks for what you did for Shoka and Rindo, too! Don’t be a stranger!”

And Rhyme beamed at Josh, being very much like the ray of sunshine he’d referred to her earlier.

And so… Joshua decided that maybe for that—for her… for all of the Hachiko Group, really—he could try and keep the life-and-death things to a minimum, and be a normal person people would appreciate around them, and show up to these events that Neku and Rhyme had invited him to.

“Yes, Rhyme… thank you, indeed.”

Author’s Note: So, for those who don't know, Joshyme was a pretty big deal in the fandom, back in the day.... 

And I guess I've brought it back in the year of our Lord 2021. But this might be the last fic I write for them. Or it might not. We'll see.And I kind of wrote this by accident? I wanted to write some Bito sibling stuff... but that'll come later. 

But Joshua and Rhyme's possible relationship (platonic) has always fascinated me, because I feel there's some interesting stuff there. And I think Joshua could potentially be proud of her for what she did, even after she lost her dreams.

Hope you all enjoyed?

[diverse-hearts-moved]

@crownshattered​ asked:

❛  02 .   a  kiss  for  the  first  time . (JOSH AND NEKU?????)

𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔 .

Three years he’d spent alone, almost stuck in a day dream about the day in which he could finally return home - yet here was the world rejecting him from both sides of the worlds that he’d been a part of. In the RG he was cursed with nightmares, in the UG visions - sometimes he couldn’t even tell them apart and other times he just wanted this all to stop. Telling himself again and again that he was alive, that he was real - that he was allowed to have a life.

Yet, here he sat with Joshua by his side, under the bridge at Shibuya river - the planes here being more attuned to that of Shinjuku, easier for him to control his presence, well, he flickered less and felt most at ease here - he was just surprised that Joshua had come to find him, though not too surprised that he knew where he’d be.

“Why is it so different here?”, he’d collected a few small rocks and was lazily skipping them across the surface of the river. Here, away from the world, he could relax a little, allow some of his numbness to melt away, allow himself to feel the storm of emotions that raged on within, “You want a drink? I bought a few”, he shifted, pulling several cans out from the bag by his side, setting them between them, “Take your pick.”.

“When this all ended, I honestly thought I could just...return to my old life. I should’ve known better really. Shot twice and still never learned his lesson”, another rock skipped across the water, Neku frowning as a sharp pain built around his right eye, sharp dull pain, one hand holding the side of his head, his other having gripped hold of Joshua without even realising - a vision flashing before his eyes.

People screaming, fleeing from something just out of sight, blinding light, himself caught in a room surrounded by flames, another blinding light, Joshua? Wait was he hurt? Huh!?

With a jolt he snapped back to reality, breathing heavily as he glanced around for any signs of the possible danger - they were under a bridge though. There was nothing like vans or fire or - “I saw you get erased”, the words are said barely above a whisper and it confuses him how much his heart seems to ache at the thought of Joshua simply being gone. But didn’t he want away from him? Wasn’t he to blame for all this? He hadn’t realised that his grip on the other had increased or that he was now staring at him with a fearful expression. That didn’t make sense though - who out there was stupid enough to even try and erase Joshua?

Did he lose one of his games or something? Was he sleeping? Was this a dream and not a vision? He was sitting in the most stable area of the world for himself currently, and yet all his felt was panic and confusion. He’d knocked over some cans as he’d shifted to kneel right in front of Joshua, fear rather easy to see, the drinks forgotten as he leaned closer, balancing himself with one hand as his other reached out, slowly resting against the composer’s cheek, the chill touch more than enough to convince him that he was very much awake right now.

Saying things between himself and Joshua was complicated, would be putting things rather lightly, but never had he felt this type of paralysing fear before. By returning to the RG, surely that meant he was turning his back on him. That’s what he wanted, right? That’s what he should want. “...who could even do that...there were golden butterflies...but Shiba couldn’t...” More like why would he? Was there someone else? Was all this going to start all over again? Who else would be dragged into a game between Gods? His head ached almost as much as his chest, Neku blinking rapidly in hopes of wakening himself from the fear induced daze he was currently in. He was almost in the other’s lap by this, cheeks heating ever so slightly. Back away. Back away. Don’t do anything, foolish. Don’t let fear push you past those walls, keep strong, don’t do anything -

And then his lips were against Joshua’s, one hand curled in his skirt as he held the composer in place, heart racing as tears pricked at the corner of his eyes, Slowly, he leaned a little more forwards, lips moving slowly, softly, silently betraying him in this moment of vulnerability - and when he pulled away, he was more than a little flushed, the reality of what he’d just done making his cheeks burn with more colour, Neku quickly glancing off to one side.

“...I...erm...”, well, if he wasn’t dead already he suddenly wished to be. He almost forgot how to breath, letting a soft shuddering sigh pass his lips as he forced himself to meet Joshua’s gaze, “....I....I really don’t have a good excuse for this...erm..yeah...”

[izaswritings]

all that’s left in the world | chapter four

Title: all that’s left in the world—

Synopsis: —is me.

Neku’s been shot and Shibuya is threatening to go the same way as Shinjuku, but just because the first Game is over doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten how to play.

Or: Neku deals with a nightmare city and his most annoying (and mathematical) partner yet; Shiki and Joshua commit an escalating number of illegal moves, Beat and Eri hunt down a stray Reaper, and Rhyme watches and waits for the counter-attack. Shibuya refuses to go down easy.

Fandom: The World Ends With You | TWEWY

Warnings: cursing, references to past murder a la Reaper’s Game, mild body horror (in a Noise-human fusion case), and implied erasure. Nothing super graphic, but be warned! Please let me know if there’s anything I missed.

-

AO3 Link is here!

Previous chapters are here!

-

part four: neku

.

.

.

I can’t hear a thing.

I hate it. I hate it. Where did everyone go? Where did everything…

It’s so quiet. Help me. Please, help me.

…

It’s too quiet.

.

.

.

Neku stares at the message for a long time.

He doesn’t move, but his fingers tighten, stiff around the phone. Kill the Composer of Shibuya. No mistaking that one. No mistaking the signature, either, or the time limit counting down on his hands. Yeah, okay. Okay.

There’s so much about the situation that infuriates him, but somehow, it’s this that makes Neku want to break something. Kill the Composer—be more original, he thinks, and grits his teeth. Always, always, kill the Composer. Well, poor fucking luck for her, then. Even if Neku wasn’t inclined to disregard every word Coco says by virtue of the whole being-murdered-again thing, this would cinch it. Why do people always pick Neku for this? Does he just have “potential assassin” written on his face or something?

Neku isn’t going to kill Joshua. He got his chance, months ago, and it was a way better set up then this farce: his friends taken, Shibuya on the line, Joshua a liar and a killer and still smiling, mild, like Neku’s anger was something vaguely amusing. A gun in his hands and a countdown to boot.

Neku hadn’t taken the shot, even then. He’s made his choice; he’s sticking with it. Joshua is an asshole—a liar—someone Neku is probably never going to be able to fully forgive. But he was Neku’s partner, too. And even this Neku can’t deny: the Game was horrible, but it changed him. He has friends now. He can see the world now. Sometimes, when he lifts his hands and closes his eyes, he can hear Shibuya’s music.

And yeah—it matters, too, that Neku’s still here. Because he lost, he’s pretty sure. He lost the Game. But Neku is alive and breathing and so are his friends, and they all have their memories, and even Rhyme...! And Shibuya is the same, except not somehow, Shibuya is brighter than ever and its almost blinding.

It’s not enough for Neku to forgive Joshua. It doesn’t take away what was done. But... it says something. About everything. That maybe Neku isn’t the only one who was changed by those three weeks.

Kill the Composer. Punch the Composer in the face, sure, but Neku clicks off the phone with a scowl. Sucks for Coco. Neku’s not playing this Game, thanks.

...Which is easier said than done. Sho Minamimoto, for example. And, you know, the time limit. Neku already knows what he’s not going to do, but that does leave the question of how the hell am I going to get out of this one.

Pi-Face must have been looking at the mission mail too, because now he’s laughing, a manic sort of snickering that makes Neku go still on pure instinct. Minamimoto, he’s found, only laughs like that when he’s about to, say, murder people, sick Taboo noise on them, or recite ten lines of pi and summon imaginary number explosions or some shit. Bad news either way.

“TANGENT,” Minamimoto shouts, and Neku blinks. “Fucking finally! This Game’s already getting zetta old, but this isn’t a bad solution at all.” His smile is full of teeth. “This is an equation I can get behind.”

Because facing Joshua worked out so well for you last time, Neku thinks, but keeps his mouth shut. He’d definitely noticed, with the ease of hindsight, how Joshua had killed Minamimoto—not with those burning beams of light that left scorch marks in the streets, but with the cars, the vending machines. And the casual way Joshua had dismissed him, that day in the throne room—I liked keeping him around—well.

Neku knows he couldn’t beat Joshua, even if he wanted to, which, no. And Neku beat Minamimoto once before. It... well, yeah, it doesn’t speak well of this guy’s chances, probably.

But again. Never, ever saying that aloud, holy shit.

“Whatever,” Neku decides, because as annoying as Pi-Face is, they’re partners whether Neku likes it or not, and he knows how these things work. Minamimoto, still grinning, closes the phone, shoves it in his pocket, and starts walking away. Neku stares after him. “What?”

And... no, yeah, he’s actually leaving. Oh, god.

“Hey,” Neku snaps, and races after him. “Where are you going? We have to stick together.”

Minamimoto squints at him and then turns away. “What, you’re still here?”

“Yes, I’m still—” Neku bites off the rest of it. Must get along with partner. Must get along... nah, screw it. “We’re in a pact. We can’t fight the Noise alone. We have to stick together—”

“Nah,” Minamimoto decides, and keeps on walking.

Neku stares after him, struck with a sudden and dizzying appreciation for Shiki. Had Neku ever been this bad? Had Neku been worse? How the hell had she not strangled him two minutes in?

He takes a deep breath. “Look,” he snaps. “I don’t like this much either, but if something happens to one of us, the other is screwed. I don’t like this any more than you do, but if we’re going to survive and figure a way out of this we have to work together.”

Still nothing. Neku narrows his eyes. Shit, okay. Math analogies, math analogies... “Unless you think you can make a working equation with just you.” Does that make sense? Well, whatever.

It works, at any rate—Minamimoto pauses, and after a moment he looks back, considering. Neku crosses his arms and scowls, trying to ignore the sinking sense in his gut. This might even be worse than his week with Joshua. For all of Joshua’s many, many irritating moments, he’d at least recognized and understood the basic principle of stick together. Death by no-one completing the mission had been a problem on day two, but Neku at least never had to worry about death by negligent partner who won’t recognize we’re in a pact.

After a moment, though, Minamimoto snorts and turns back around. “Zetta annoying,” he decides. “You better not slow me down, you useless radian. I don’t have time to proof. Though I guess you’ll be some help when I get around to crunching the Composer.” He grins, at that, cracking his knuckles.

Neku’s not really surprised by that response, but still. “What, you’re actually going to do it?” Try to do it. Same thing.

“What,” Minamimoto mimics, “you aren’t?” The smile returns, all teeth. “Either we crunch the numbers, or the numbers are going to crunch us. Constants don’t get a say in how they’re used.”

Math-speak for you’ll help me kill the Composer or I’ll make you, probably. Neku crosses his arms, unimpressed. “Sure,” he says, doubtful. “Either way, we have a problem.” He gestures around them the destroyed buildings and ruined streets. “I know Shibuya. This isn’t Shibuya. How the hell are you going to find the Composer? We’re not even in the right city!”

Minamimoto shrugs. “A possible miscalculation,” he allows. “I’ll figure a solution.”

You inspire so much confidence, Neku thinks, irritated. “Like what, exactly?”

Minamimoto snorts. “None of your concern,” he says dismissively, and starts walking away again.

Oh, yeah. Just as bad as Joshua. Maybe worse, because at least Joshua didn’t make Neku do math. Ugh.

Neku scowls at Minamimoto’s back and follows, resisting the urge to drag his feet. For all of Pi-Face’s easy dismissal of the worry, Neku’s still stuck on it. This place... it’s familiar, sure, but not in a good way. It’s ruined, ash and dust and smog choking the air, Noise filtering about the edges... but he can still recognize it, if only sideways. Those strange visions that had been blacking out his sight all day... yeah, Neku knows this place. This was the city that got destroyed in the dreams.

Why am I here?

He’s almost certain, now, that this is where Coco was trying to lead him and Beat; she’s succeeded in dragging Neku here, at least, but he still doesn’t know why. Why kill Joshua? No, wait, wrong question. Why try and kill Joshua like this? A Reaper’s Game twisted beyond recognition, and a mission to kill Shibuya’s Composer in a place that clearly isn’t Shibuya. Can they even leave this place? Is this just a trap to get them erased by an impossible mission with a definite time limit? But then—why seven days to complete it? She could have set it to five minutes and dusted them that way.

It doesn’t make any sense, Neku thinks, and tugs once at his hair in frustration before letting go. He’s sick of this. Plots and plans and Neku stuck in the strings, and damn, he did not fucking miss this.

For a moment his hands shake. He squeezes his eyes shut, and exhales very slowly. His eyes are burning. And that’s—that’s fine. This is fair, isn’t it? He’d thought he was done with Games, but now he’s back here again, so it makes sense, it’s fine, he just needs…

He just needs a moment.

The air is so stiff here. Silent and empty. Every inhale is tinged with dust, and the city itself is a dead place—no wind, dead air, stale and settling and starting to rot. It’s hollow in a way that echoes. It aches. He misses Shibuya so suddenly it dizzies him. The crowds—the music—the world.

I didn’t ask for this.

But it doesn’t matter. Not really. Neku’s made his decision, and he’s going to stick to it—his only concern is getting out of this. And hey, track record, right? He’s done the impossible before. He can… he can figure this out.

He opens his eyes, and exhales again. He grits his teeth and pulls himself together. Okay. He can do this. He will do this. He’s going to figure out this new Game and he’s going to come back to Shiki and Beat alive and well. If Coco thinks she’s got him beaten, then she’s got another thing coming.

But still. As he picks his way across the ruined landscape, Neku can’t help but feel, with a sinking sense of dread, that there’s still so much worse to come.

.

They explore the city for a while, in silence—Minamimoto leading, like he’s forgotten Neku is there, and Neku trailing behind, keeping one eye on his irritating partner and one eye on their surroundings, wary of an ambush.

The city is... awful, Neku thinks, and the longer he stays here the more it makes his skin crawl. The streets are totally empty; the Noise are either everywhere or nowhere at all. No more strange, distorted symbols in the air; no more chance of avoiding them. They always watch them pass with blank, gleaming eyes—and that’s another thing, too. The Noise aren’t right. The Noise are dead silent.

Everything, Neku is finding, is dead silent.

The Noise don’t make—well, noise. There’s no wind—no birds—nothing. Even their footsteps feel muffled and dim, as if Neku’s walking on cotton, unable to make any noise louder than a whisper. When he speaks, it feels like he has to shout to be heard—like the total silence of the city is swallowing his voice whole, taking it all in, giving nothing back.

The worst part, though, is that there’s no Music.

When Neku left the Reaper’s Game for good, and first awoke alive and well on the Scramble Crossing... memories, and friends, and nightmares hadn’t been the only things he’d taken away from the Game. Sometimes, when Neku closed his eyes and put his hands over his ears and just let the murmur of the city wash over him, he could hear it—a song, or the Song, Shibuya in entirety, a music he could never really describe and could hardly imagine living without. It was chaotic and chiming and... Shibuya. Just Shibuya.

It was a comfort. And now it’s gone.

And he knows—Neku knows, logically, that even if there was Music here it wouldn’t be the same—this isn’t Shibuya, isn’t home. But even so, he’d rather hear an unfamiliar song than this... nothingness. This absence. This void in the air where music used to sing and people used to laugh, and just—there’s nothing, now. There’s a lack. There’s a hole.

I can’t hear a thing, he thinks, and it feels like his thought and yet it feels nothing like him at all, and for a moment the silence presses down on him. Panic coats his tongue. Despair squeezes at his chest. It’s less pain and more an echo if it; someone else’s words, ringing through him. For a moment his vision washes out into white.

I hate it. Where did it go? It’s too quiet. Come back. Come back!

Neku stumbles forward. Again. It’s happening again. He can hardly breathe. He presses a hand to his temple. “Who are you?” he whispers. He’s almost certain, now. This isn’t him. This is someone else. But who? “You keep—calling to me, who—”

Please help me. Static fuzzes in his ears. His eyes burn. Help me. Oh, god. Oh, god, please, someone help me—!

“Useless radian,” a new voice snaps, and the echoing words cut off with a snap, so quick it leaves Neku almost breathless. “Get up.”

He’s on his knees, Neku realizes. When had he fallen? He presses his hand against the concrete, gray and ashy beneath his palm, and lifts his head to glare.

Minamimoto looks unimpressed. “I don’t bother with inherently flawed calculations,” he warns, and then grins. “Match the parameters or get deleted, yoctogram.”

How nice, Neku thinks, dryly. Now he’s not sure if the headache pounding behind his eyes is from the echo, or just from listening to Minamimoto talk. Or both. Asshole.

“I’m fine,” Neku says, finally. His hands are shaking. He curls them against the concrete, and tries to remember how to breathe. “I… I’m fine.”

Minamimoto snorts. “Who gives a digit? Just get up. There’s a problem.”

“Huh?” Neku pushes to his feet, wavering a little. His legs feel shaky. He’s not in pain anymore, but the memory of that hollow ache is enough to make him shiver. That voice. That fear. Those visions, again. Just what is going on?

Minamimoto runs a hand back through his hair and grins, unsettling. “We have a new addition.”

“What?”

Minamimoto lifts his chin towards the far end of the street, seemingly unconcerned. Neku follows his gaze. They’ve stuck to the main roads, thus far; this one is three lanes wide and shadowed by empty skyscrapers turned hollow and half-eaten, like they’ve been decayed from the top-down. The fog of white dust makes it hard to see, but if Neku squints…

A blurry shadow of a figure lingers at the end of the road.

Neku blinks. Not just a figure. A humanoid figure. Moving. Holy shit. Is that… is there really someone else here?

His blood runs cold. Coco? Or… could it be—the girl from his visions?

But there’s something off about the figure, and Neku finds himself reaching for his pins before he can think better of it. He doesn’t trust this. Too much about this Game isn’t right—not just the missions, but even the rules of the world turned on its head. All of his pins work even when he’s not fighting the Noise. He doesn’t have a Player Pin, but he’s definitely in the UG. The Noise no longer pull them into an alternate dimension; they’re fully formed and waiting and watching, with eyes blank and white like a dead pin. And the silence, too...

No. This isn’t right. And as the figure shuffles towards them, Neku steps back and pulls a Lightning Rook to his hand, because he’s not so sure that’s a person, either.

Minamimoto is grinning, though something has turned sharp at the edges of his smile. “Ugh.”

“What is it?”

“I miscalculated.” He studies the figure and slides back into a stance. For a moment, he seems to blur at the edges. “Should have carried the evidence to its conclusion. Tch, embarrassing. This was simple math.”

Neku squints at the figure. They’re shuffling forward, coming into view, and when he sees them in full, he blanches. “Is that—”

“Yep.” Minamimoto makes a harsh noise in his throat, looking disgusted. “Inversion. The system’s all screwed up. Noise in the RG, UG in fractions... and sometimes you get equations that just don’t work out.”

Inversion? The hell? But there’s no time to ask. The figure is close enough now to see in entirety and— oh.

Neku can’t breathe.

They look—they must be—that’s a person, isn’t it? A businessman, he thinks, with slicked back black hair and a pale gray suit, jolting faintly with every step. They must be a person. Except they have a Noise’s colorful scrawls winding all the way down their arms and face and there’s wings peeling out bloody and painful from their back and sharp teeth jutting from their gums and oh, fuck, Neku never wanted to know what a human-Noise combo would look like and he’s really not happy to have found out now.

The Noise humanoid opens up their mouth and screams. There is no sound, but the air grates. Neku slams his hands over his ears, and in the distance, Sho Minamimoto is laughing.

“Caught between the frequencies, are you?” he says, looking delighted. “So zetta cool. Zetta sucks, too. Don’t worry. You’re about to get deleted.” He draws back his hand. To Neku: “You better not slow me down!”

Neku falters. “Wait,” he says. “Wait wait wait, that’s a person, what happens to them if we—”

“Ugh, do the math!” Zetta shut up, Neku thinks back. “What do you think happens to Noise-possessed people when it all gets Inversed?”

Neku stills. Noise-possessed people. Which means...

He draws back his hand. Okay. Okay. He doesn’t understand most of that, but... if they defeat this person, will that help? Will the Noise leave them? Will they go back to normal?

He doesn’t know. What he does know is that looks painful. Either way, Neku isn’t going to be able to back away from this.

Minamimoto laughs and throws himself into the fight with a sharp, vicious war cry of “Infinity!” It is familiar in a way that makes something in Neku ache; he stills, and refuses to look beside him. Joshua isn’t there. Joshua isn’t with him. In fact, he hasn’t really seen Joshua in almost a month, not since the Game ended.

And yet. For a moment, he can almost hear the laughter.

Neku shakes his head. He’s not fighting Minamimoto, he’s fighting with him, and he needs to start acting like it. Neku reaches for his pins.

“You better be right about this,” Neku snaps, and attacks.

Lightning Rook in one hand, Electric Warning, Velocity Attack, Raven, and two healing pins. Neku flips them through his fingers, watching Minamimoto dart across the area, and sets his feet. He still has the Fusion pin—he’d made sure to check, and thank goodness for that—which means so long as he times this right, they should sync up and hopefully be able to…

He preps the lightning in his hand, and then Minamimoto appears right in front of him.

“Shit!” Neku jerks his hand away—the lightning flashes and bangs, gone wild, darting up and out of range, crackling harmless in the air. What? What!? “Watch where you’re going, asshole!”

Minamimoto just cackles. “Useless components should just stay put!”

“Hey, wait!” In the distance, the Noise opens its mouth in a silent scream, and the world warps like putty. Pi-Face grins like a shark and vanishes from view. Neku curses at him, and throws himself down.

The air explodes above his head; Neku ducks out of range and then rolls back on his feet, angry now. “Are you kidding me?” he demands, to no-one, and reaches for his pins again.

The lightning jumps for his fingers eagerly. The power is a head rush. Neku grits his teeth and blasts at the Noise again. Despite all of his annoyance, the weight of the pins in his hands is a comfort. It’s almost soothing. He hates this, he hates fighting, but—

But Neku has missed this, too. That breath of power, that static on his tongue… he’d missed it. Why? He doesn’t want to. But he finally feels settled, feet flat on the ground. Minamimoto is an annoyance, this new Game a mystery, Coco a threat—but here in this fight, Neku is steady. I can do this.

Minamimoto cuts him off again; Neku switches pins with a mutter and throws himself out of range of the Noise’s shockwave. The silent screaming thing is seriously starting to vex him. He takes up the pin again, aiming—

Pi-Face, sneering, flickers into view and kicks the Noise back. “So zetta slow!”

Neku grits his teeth. “Would you just—hey! We need to sync up! Stop getting in the way!”

Minamimoto scoffs. Neku clenches his fists. “You—”

And then Minamimoto is gone again—and then he is right in front of him—and then he is kicking Neku right in the side, hard enough to send him flying back. Neku just barely gets his arm up in time to block most of the blow; his whole forearm sears with pain. Minamimoto is grinning again, sharp and wild.

Neku stumbles, catches his feet, and stills, his pins burning in his palm. Attack your partner is never the mission. It’s never the mission. It’s never—

“What the hell are you doing?” Neku says, quietly. “Do you have any idea—”

“Cooperation is trash,” Minamimoto says, far too gleefully. “We’re looped in the same equation, sure, but I crunch the numbers. Get in my way, you get factored out.” He steps away, turning his back, piece said. Neku sees red.

Raven has always been a favored pin. Neku tosses a streetlamp at him.

Minamimoto dodges, of course—and when he turns back around, his expression is frightening. “You are so—”

“Partners!” Neku snarls, talking over him. “We’re in a pact, you… we have to work together!”

“Crunch! That opinion was garbage. I’ll throw it on the pile.”

Must. Not. Murder. Partner. “You’re not a Reaper anymore. You don’t have the wings, we’re in a pact, you have the same fucking timer I do—either we fight together, or we’re going to lose.” He takes a quick, tight breath. Sota. Nao. All those Players, even the Reapers… but Neku can’t afford to die here. “Work with me here. You don’t want to die again, right? Well neither do I! So help me! And let me help you.”

Asshole, he adds, internally.

Minamimoto looks like he’s considering it, which of course— of course! —is when the humanoid Noise attacks again. Go figure. Fucking fantastic. Neku wants to bang his head against a wall.

But when he rises from his dodge, Minamimoto flickers into view beside him again. He looks annoyed. Grudging. And his face twists up, but he says: “Fine. Whatever,” and it is not the glowing confirmation Neku was hoping for but god, damn, he’ll take it.

“Finally,” Neku mutters, and flips a pin. “Then let’s do this. If you take it from behind, I’ll blast it from the front.”

Minamimoto scoffs again. He vanishes without a word.  Neku rolls his eyes, and sets his feet.

Lightning in the air, Minamimoto’s taunting insults, the Noise’s silent screaming and the warping air—but while they are not entirely in sync, this time it’s enough. The Noise is slowing, wing tattered and limp, face fuzzing from view—and the Fusion pin warms against Neku’s wrist.

He activates it. “Get ready!”

“Fucking finally! So zetta slow!”

“Argh, you—!”

It’s like stepping into a web. Lines and angles and numbers and—and Neku grits his teeth against the overload, the power slipping through his fingers, and reaches back. Equalities, balances, equals to. He clicks the numbers into place, and feels power burning through his hands.

(And for a moment: something is off. Something is wrong. A power that is neither his nor Minamimoto’s. Something else. Someone else? Not quite a pact, but… like moving in sync. A mirroring.

A connection.)

Something shatters.

It’s like white noise in his ears—the empty static—the imaginary plane. For a moment there is a hole in the world, in the sound, in the noise—there is music, sharp and rhythmic and singing through the air—and then they are back, and his ears are ringing, and there is a person, Noise-less, lying slumped on the street.

Neku blinks fast. The bitter taste of ozone lingers on his tongue. He breathes past it, and rushes for the body. “Hey! Are you okay?”

No answer. Oh, shit. Neku kneels by the man, reaching out, and freezes when his hand passes right through. “Wait—wait, no—”

The man fades away, as fragile as a dream. Neku doesn’t move.

Behind him, Minamimoto makes an interested sound. “So, the Inversion takes it all. Noise or nothing. A full circle.”

Neku curls his fingers. He still doesn’t know what the hell this Inversion thing is, but he’s starting to get the gist. “You mean…” So there was no saving the guy? Either existing as a fusion with Noise, or not existing at all? Is this what’s become of all the people in this place?

Neku grits his teeth. He bows his head.

Minamimoto makes a scornful noise and turns away. “Let’s go,” he says, dismissively. “We’re subtracting time.”

Neku clenches his jaw and rises to his feet. Right, he thinks. Right. It’s not over yet. Whatever happened here, whatever this is… he still has time to figure this out. Maybe… maybe he can find out what happened to this place, too. To these people.

He’s not playing to win, after all. He’s playing to finish this. He can add one more mystery to the list.

But for all his determination, his mood has soured. Minamimoto is walking down the street, casual as he pleases, but Neku lingers on the road, subdued, bitter despite himself. He looks up at the sky, and thinks of the mission mail, of that almost-presence during the fusion, the almost-whisper in his ears.

High above him, the sky flickers cold and red. The clouds churn like boiling water. When he blinks, he can see the afterimage of it on his eyes, like an imprint of the Reaper’s skull, glaring down at him. Burning.

“Hey,” he says. “Are you there?”

He waits. But no one answers.

Neku blinks the red from his eyes until the sky is gray and cold once more, then turns and walks away.

[phoenix-downer]

Of Which Reason Knows Nothing - Chapter 2

I’m happy to post the second part of the project @chibiranmaruchan and I collaborated on! (You can find the first part here). They drew the art, and I wrote the fic. Working with them was a lot of fun, and I’m really happy with what we’ve created. I will also be posting this story to FFN and AO3 if those are your preferred reading spot(s).

Length: ~3000 words

Summary: Kairi may have lost someone important, but she isn’t alone, and she isn’t without hope. And her mysterious dreams just might have a clue as to Sora’s whereabouts…

Characters: Kairi, Sora, Riku

Additional Info: Implied Kairi/Sora, Riku and Kairi friendship. Post-Kingdom Hearts III. Referenced Character Death. Guilt, Grief/Grieving, Angst, Comfort, Dreams, Friendship.

Enjoy!

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That night, Kairi wore Sora’s hoodie to bed again. Maybe it wasn’t related to her dream at all, but it couldn’t hurt to wear it, just in case there was some sort of connection. 

As her eyes flickered shut, she murmured, “Sora, if you’re out there… if you’re trying to reach me… I’m listening.”

Neon lights, flashing colors. An enormous city with skyscrapers pointing towards the moon, trying to reach the heavens but getting pulled back down to earth. Water on the ground in puddles as raindrops splashed into them, disturbing the surface of the water, reflecting the surroundings like a mirror. 

She was back. She was back in the same place as before. 

White paint on the ground. Lots of lines running across the street. Big billboards running dozens of different ads at the same time. Cars with bright lights, too bright in the dark. The sky a strange shade of purple with ominous black clouds. A big white tower with the numbers 104 in neon red letters. 

She glanced at one of the puddles nearby. A face with blue eyes and spiky brown hair stared back. Lifting her hand, she gasped at what she saw. It wasn’t her hand. It was Sora’s, and he was holding a small black pin with a skull-looking emblem on it. He turned it over, and the whole world seemed to go wonky.

“Huh?” He dropped the pin and clutched his head.

“Sora!” she cried, but he couldn’t hear her. His Gummiphone buzzed in his pocket, and he pulled it out. 

The message said: 

Reach 104. You have 60 minutes. Fail, and face erasure. 

—The Reapers.

“Huh?!” 

He put his phone back in his pocket. Pain shot up his arm, and he winced and looked at his hand again. Engraved into his palm were black numbers with yellow outlines and a red background. 

59:49. 59:48. 59:47. They kept changing, kept… going down. Kept decreasing with each passing second. When he looked at the 104 building again, it said YOU HAVE 7 DAYS in big red letters against a black background. 

“Sora!”

But the dream was over, and her eyes flew open. Fingers shaking, she grabbed the Gummiphone on her bedside table. The phone rang and rang and rang as her heart raced because of her dream.

“C’mon, Riku, please, please pick up—”

A few moments later, and he did.

“Kairi?” came his familiar voice, if a little groggy. She glanced at the little time display at the top of the screen. A few minutes after six. The video kicked in, and he yawned as he wiped the sleep out of his eyes.

“Riku, I had another dream about him again,” she said, unable to hide the excitement in her voice.

Riku perked up immediately at that. “You did? What was it about this time?”

“He was in that city I saw before, only this time there was more.” She closed her eyes and pictured it now. The busy crosswalk, the building with 104 written on it, all the colorful lights and sounds. And the red and black numbers carved into his palm. “There was a countdown, on his hand,” she added, trying to include as many details as possible.

“A countdown?” Riku repeated, his voice rising.

Her eyes flew open. “Yes. I’m not sure why, but—”

“Kairi, I think I know where he is. I think I know where he is,” Riku said, and his voice had more energy and hope in it than it had since… well, since everything had happened.

She tugged at Sora’s hoodie and sat up straighter at that. “W-what? But how?”

“When we were taking our Mark of Mastery exam, he met this guy named Neku. He told me later on that Neku talked to him about a game.”

“And?”

“There was a countdown on Neku’s hand that was a part of that game.”

She thought about this for a moment. “So you think he might be playing the same game as Neku?”

Riku nodded. “Yeah. He said Neku was from this place called Shibuya. If we can find that, we can find him.”

This was it, this was their best lead ever since he’d disappeared. She said goodbye to Riku and threw on some clothes. They had to go see Master Yen Sid about this. Their friends all deserved to know.

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Kairi waited with bated breath as Master Yen Sid closed his eyes and stroked his beard. Stealing a quick glance at Riku, she wondered if he was feeling as wound up as she was right now. His face was a calm mask, but then again, he’d never really worn his heart on his sleeve the way she and Sora did.

“So, you are convinced Sora is somewhere called Shibuya, playing some sort of game,” Master Yen Sid said.

Kairi nodded. “Yes, Master. I know it may seem a little crazy—”

“On the contrary, where else would a heart go after fading from the Realm of Light? Sora did not die a normal death, and there are legends of the same thing happening to others.”

“Really?” Riku asked. “Like who?”

Kairi knew what he was thinking. If it had happened to someone else before, there might be clues as to how to save Sora. 

“There was a man who called himself the Master of Masters,” Master Yen Sid said. “He had six Keyblade-wielding apprentices, all named after the Seven Deadly Sins. Ava, Luxu, Invi, Gula, Ira, and Aced, with him as their leader: Superbia. Legend has it that instead of dying, he simply faded away, never to be seen or heard from again.”

Kairi and Riku both waited to hear more, but it soon became clear that was all.

“That’s it? That’s all?” Riku said, echoing her thoughts. “This… Master of Masters guy never returned to the Realm of Light?”

“Well, there is more to the story, but it relates to the events of the Keyblade War, and the two of you would be here for days if I were to recount it all to you. I do not think a history lesson is what you want right now. I shared this with you so you would know that the same fate that befell Sora has befallen someone else before, if the legends are to be believed. That was why Mickey tried to warn him against doing what he did, but as the philosophers say, the heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.”

Master Yen Sid smiled sadly, and Kairi’s heart sank. They had warned Sora not to save her and he still did? Why?

“I know it should be him here with Riku instead of me,” she said. “But if there’s anything I can do to—”

“Incorrect. You are exactly the person who should be here with Riku right now,” Master Yen Sid said. “For if Riku is to dive into realms unknown, who better to keep his heart tethered to the Realm of Light than a Princess of Heart?”

“I can do that?” Kairi said.

“You kept Sora tethered to the Realm of Light, did you not?”

“Well, yes, but… that was different, Master. My powers don’t work on other people the way they work on Sora, and I’m not really sure why, though I do have a few guesses.”

Riku raised an eyebrow but thankfully kept his mouth shut. 

“As I said earlier: the heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing,” Master Yen Sid said. “But no matter; in keeping Riku tethered to the Realm of Light as he descends to the depths, you will be helping Sora. Surely you can see how your powers could still be used in this manner.”

“I suppose…”

“Have some faith in yourself, Kairi,” Riku said. “You kept Sora alive, and that let him save the rest of us. I know you’ll be able to pull this off.”

Kairi’s hand fluttered to her necklace. “But what if I can’t? What if I screw up again? I already lost Sora because I was too weak to stop myself from dying. I can’t… I can’t lose you too, Riku!” 

Riku put his hand on her shoulder. “You can do this, I know you can. You’re not alone. Together we’ll find Sora and bring him back.” His expression softened. “And you know how I know that?”

“How?”

“Sora believes in us. He believed he’d find you when you were lost. He never gave up on me after all the crap I pulled. So let’s believe in ourselves the way he does.” 

Riku was right. Even though Kairi had trouble believing in herself, she couldn’t deny that Sora believed in her. And she believed in him. She believed in Riku, too. And maybe that would be enough.

“Okay, I’m willing to try,” she said, and Master Yen Sid and Riku both nodded. 

“We must begin preparations at once,” Master Yen Sid said. “There is no time to waste. The sooner we can reach Sora and bring him back to the Realm of Light, the better.”

Finally. They finally had something to do besides sit around at home and grieve. Taking action felt so much better than doing nothing.

As she and Riku made preparations, she couldn’t help but reflect back on those words she’d told Sora and Riku before. This time, she wasn’t just going to protect Sora. This time, she wasn’t just going to fight. This time, she was going to act. She was going to be the one searching for Sora for once instead of the other way around. 

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The night before the mission, Kairi dreamed of Sora again. He was still in that same city, but he wasn’t at the big crosswalk anymore. He was on a side street, fighting some strange-looking creatures Kairi had never seen before. They weren’t Heartless or Nobodies, but they did look like large frogs with elaborate red and black tattoos where their legs should’ve been. And even through the dream, Kairi could sense how the atmosphere surrounding them felt. Her skin crawled and her mood dropped, and she could only imagine how Sora felt fighting them. 

When he had destroyed the last of them with his Keyblade, he stumbled against a nearby building, a store with bright red letters. His bangs were stuck to his forehead, and he was breathing hard. How long had he been fighting? How many of those things had he already fought?

But what really drew her attention was when he reached into his pocket and pulled out her lucky charm. Her heart soared at the sight of it. He still had it. He still—

“Why can’t I remember you?” he said, and his voice was anguished. 

Her heart sank. Sora didn’t… remember her? 

Why not? What had happened to him? Were all his memories gone?

“Sora?” she said. “Sora, I’m here!”

But he couldn’t hear her, and he tucked the charm back into his pocket. “Doesn’t matter. Whoever gave this to me has to be someone important to me.” He looked right at her and made a guts pose, even though he couldn’t see her. “Whoever you are, I’m gonna get home to you, some way, somehow.” He smiled, and it was so good to see his smile again. “I promise.”

She opened her mouth to reply, but the dream was over, and her eyes flew open. She rolled over onto her side, still wrapped in Sora’s hoodie, and huddled beneath her blanket as light poured through the window. 

Did Sora really not remember her? Her lower lip trembled at the thought. How could he have forgotten her after everything they’d been through? This was like when she’d forgotten him, and a lump built in her throat when she remembered how awful that had been. The memories slowly slipping away from her. The day she’d forgotten his name. The night she’d forgotten his face. The moment she realized she couldn’t hear his voice anymore. All of that came crashing back to her, and her eyes welled up with tears. 

But she and Sora had gotten through that, in the end. And his promise did make her feel a little better. Maybe the memories were all scrambled up, but they weren’t gone for good. They had to still be in his heart somehow. The bond they shared couldn’t be broken that easily.

The important thing was that he was fighting to get back to her. So she would fight to reach him, too. Whatever obstacles they might face, she and Riku would bring him home.

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“You ready?” Kairi asked as she held her hands out to Riku. They were back in Master Yen Sid’s study, and everyone else was here too – King Mickey and Donald and Goofy, Terra and Aqua and Ven, Naminé, of course, and Roxas and Xion and Axel. Even Isa was present. Admittedly, that made her feel a little uncomfortable, but at least he had the good sense not to try to talk to her. 

“Ready if you are,” Riku said with a half-grin. How he was so relaxed about this, she’d never know. Her hands were shaking a little, but when he grabbed a hold of them, a wave of calm washed over her. 

“For Sora?”

“For Sora.”

Her eyes fluttered shut, and she pictured Sora searching for her in Shibuya. Pictured Riku, pictured his heart. 

There. She could see his Station of Awakening now with its stained glass-like panels showing the people that were most important to him. Friends and family and memories spread throughout his heart. Taking a deep breath, she reached out with her light, tethering her heart to his. His memories started flowing through her mind, and she opened her eyes.

“Okay, I’m connected to you now. Whenever you’re ready.”

He looked around at their friends. “Hey, why the long faces? Don’t worry about me. I’ll be back here with Sora in no time, you’ll see.” He looked at Kairi one more time and smiled. “We won’t give up on him, because he never gave up on us. And he’s helped every person here in this room at one time or another. Now it’s time we return the favor.” 

There was a general chorus of agreement and well-wishing at that. Letting go of one of Kairi’s hands, Riku summoned his Keyblade and opened a large portal above them complete with swirling colors and elaborate designs of a bygone age. 

“Stay safe, Riku,” she said. “See you soon.”

And with that a great beam of light shot down and pulled him into the portal. Her hand was now empty, and she rested it over her heart. 

“Well?” King Mickey said. 

She smiled. “He’s okay. I can feel him.”

Everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief. 

“And… I can feel Sora’s heart, too. He may not remember me yet, but I know he will soon.”

“That’s the magic of the paopu fruit!” Goofy said, then slapped his hands over his mouth as Donald tapped his foot.

“Hey, you weren’t supposed to tell everyone that,” Donald scolded, and everyone laughed as Kairi blushed. Great, did all their friends know about the paopu fruit? Well, not surprising. Juicy gossip had a way of spreading like wildfire. 

“Hey, if the Wayfinders can bring me and Aqua and Terra back together again, imagine how powerful the real thing will be!” Ven pointed out. “Especially because you and Sora—”

“Less teasing, more practicing with your Keyblade,” Aqua chided, but she was smiling, and Terra grinned and ruffled his hair. Ven pretended to protest, but it was obvious he liked the hair ruffling and playful scolding. 

As the others started up conversations with each other, catching up on how everything had been going since everyone had last seen each other, one person in particular sought Kairi out. Naminé, still holding her sketchpad and pencil but wearing a cute new dress, blue and yellow and white. 

“Kairi?”

“Yes Naminé? What is it?”

“I know you’re feeling sad about Sora forgetting you, but I doubt those memories are gone for good. Look at Xion,” she said, gesturing at their friend, who smiled and waved at them. “We all thought no one would remember her, and yet here she is now. Sora’s memories of you will come back, I just know they will.”

“Thanks, Naminé. And when Sora finally comes back, he can thank you properly, too.”

Naminé smiled, and Kairi went over to talk to Axel and Roxas and Xion some more, then to King Mickey and Donald and Goofy, then lastly to Terra and Aqua and Ven. She had something very important to ask, something she wanted to do as Riku searched for Sora and she kept him tethered to the Realm of Light.

“Master Aqua, please take me on as your apprentice,” she pleaded as she bowed low. This was her best shot, her best hope at becoming a better Keyblade wielder after the disaster that had happened at the Keyblade Graveyard. 

When she straightened, her throat dry, Aqua was beaming down at her. “I thought you’d never ask.”

She clasped her hands and thanked Aqua profusely. Here was an opportunity to get better, to improve, to become a better fighter by the time Sora and Riku returned. She wasn’t the weak girl that had gotten kidnapped and killed anymore. She had the heart and will to be strong, and she was going to prove it.

However long it might take, however hard she would have to work, it didn’t matter. Someday, she would fight by Sora’s side again. Someday, she would be able to spar with Riku and give him a run for his munny. Someday, the three of them would be together again and all would feel right in the worlds.

And someday, she and Sora would finally be able to make good on the promise they’d made. They’d be together every day, and nothing would be able to keep them apart anymore. 

For that, she would train and fight for as long as it might take. Now was the time to step forward like she’d said she would. Now was the time to act. The fight was in her hands, and she was ready at long last.

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A/N: A big thank you again to @chibiranmaruchan! And thank you to everyone who read, reblogged, liked, and commented on the story! Hope you enjoyed :)