#(this post would be updated once I actually get frequently asked questions on Rose Fall)

[rose-fall]

Q&A

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General

Q: Why are they furries?

A: ‘Cause I want them to be. I’m a furry and I enjoy drawing anthro characters. I know them being anthros have nothing to do with the story, lore, or symbolism at all but I don’t really care.

Q: Why are there two blogs? Why not just post the pages on this one?

A: I post the pages on a separate blog, @rose-fall-comic, for organization purposes. It’s easier to navigate the comic there than it would be on this blog. The pages have their own tagging system and I don’t want to add a whole bunch more tags to my tag guide just for volume navigation alone, so I feel it’s just best to keep them all in one place instead.

Adaptations

Q: Can I make a comic dub of Rose Fall?

A: Not yet. I know I’ll be ok with it one day though (when that happens I’ll update this answer). Just not now.

Q: Can I translate the comic into another language?

A: Yes, I’m all for making the comic accessible for other languages. As long as you keep the integrity of the original (dont change any story details, don’t change characters’ genders, sexualities, etc.). Make sure to post it with proper credit too, including links to the original english version. I’d prefer you post it either on Tumblr or ComicFury. If you want textless versions of the pages, DM me and I’ll provide you a link to a Trello board that holds textless versions of public pages so it’ll be easier for you to edit.

Other Permissions

Q: Can I submit any of the characters to gimmick blogs? (otd blogs, polls, etc.)

A: Nope. I don’t want the kind of exposure polls or otd (of the day) blogs would give. Or any gimmick blog for that matter. This includes gimmick blogs made to be specifically about Rose Fall too (examples: roleplay blogs, incorrect quote blogs, out of context blogs, confession blogs, etc.).

Q: Can I make a tvtropes/fandom wiki/etc. page/article on Rose Fall?

A: Nope. Though if I wanted a fandom wiki for Rose Fall, I’d make it myself.

Q: Are headcanons regarding the characters ok?

A: It depends. I don’t want anyone having headcanons that changes a character’s gender or orientation (since none of my characters are allocishet) or headcanons that removes a character’s transness or disability. However, I am fine with trans headcanons of characters that aren’t canonically trans (as long as the gender itself isn’t changed) and headcanons that give a character a disability they aren’t confirmed to have (as long as its disability-positive, none of that “this character is an awful person so they must have [insert demonized mental disability]” bullshit). I also ask to not spread headcanons as though they are fact.

Questions That Will Be Ignored

Q: Can you draw this or that for me?

A: I’m not taking requests. I’ll make posts whenever I’m feeling up for it though. But those times will be temporary and they won’t occur often.

Q: What would this character look like in a certain media’s world? / How would this character fit in a certain media’s world?

A: I don’t like trying to translate my characters into worlds they weren’t made for. So you won’t be getting any answers to these kinds of questions. The same goes for whenever I’m open for requests too, I won’t take any requests that are like “draw so-and-so as if they were in this one media’s world”.

Q: What are your thoughts on *insert other webcomic name*?

A: I won’t answer these kinds of questions and any similar because they are not Rose Fall related. And while we’re at it, I don’t want anyone to name drop any other creators here under any context either. To avoid spreading misinformation. If I do ever somehow respond to a question that name drops another creator, the post will be private.

Q: *insert what is essentially roleplay*

A: Just don’t try to roleplay in my inbox lol. If you wanna interact with my characters, you can do so at the ask blog, @ask-rose-fall.

Q: *insert what is essentially venting*

A: We are both strangers to each other. I’d prefer you didn’t vent in my inbox. Please talk with a professional or someone you trust if you’re feeling unsafe. If by any chance I do answer, the post will be private.

[askthedespairkids]

3rd Year Anniversary Bonus 79-C Report Cards

//I do have more stuff planned for this year’s anniversary but it’s gonna take more time to finish so I figured I would make this post in place just for fun. It’s nice to have these sort of things, I think since there are just so many OCs on the blog

//It will get updated as new OCs join or important information is uncovered.

Amaterasu Hokama - Ultimate Thief

Gender: Female

Height: 5′ 11″

Birthday: April 20th

Likes: Shiny Things

Dislikes: Security Guards

Current Status: Alive

Amaterasu’s family was evicted from their home when she was young, her parents “homeschooling” her in order for her to avoid bullying. When her family were struggling for food, she would steal from stores in order for them to keep surviving. As she grew up, she found her love for the thrill of a heist growing. She would go on larger heists in rich homes and museums, but rather than keeping anything for herself, she would return it the next day. Like it was a simple game for her. Eventually, word got out about a girl that could potentially steal from anywhere she wanted to. An underground team of thieves then decided to recruit her in order to get help for their heists. At first she helped out to get some money for her family, but once they had enough money to get a home and had a stable income, Amaterasu reported all of the people in that team to the authorities. She was also sent to a juvenile center but managed to escape after a week. Though she is rarely ever seen, there are always reports of “an girl that acts like a wolf wandering around the city”.

Doi Kurohiko - Ultimate Romance Expert

Gender: Male

Height: 5′10″

Birthday: November 14th

Likes: Roses

Dislikes: Creepy People

Current Status: Alive

With a handsome face, and a talent like his, Doi is often mistaken as a player at first glance, however his actual personality is the complete opposite. He has awful luck when talking to women, which he calls “his heart’s curse” which causes unfortunate events to happen such as falling down stairs, ripping his pants, and many other occurrences. Despite his failures, he tries to remain optimistic even if he isn’t the most strong willed. His talent isn’t for show either- if you want to fix your relationship, Doi is the one to ask. With a tendency to go off on rants when nervous and a weakness for women, Doi is the walking Ultimate Contradiction.

Junpei Yokozawa - Ultimate Blogger

Gender: Male

Height: 5′2″

Birthday: April 16th

Likes: Co-op Games

Dislikes: Horror Movies

Current Status: Alive

The blogger of several semi-popular blogs that cover a variety of topics such as fandoms, political views, and even gossip, Junpei Yokozawa may be a blogger, but he’s a damn good one. Overshadowed by the rest of family having flashy talents, he’s never seen himself as being worth much in the world of Ultimates. However, his ability to manipulate internet culture is second-to-none despite his lack of presence in real life.

Karma Graves - Ultimate Secret Agent

Gender: Was thought to be intersex by certain staff, and female by peers and other staff. It has come to attention that Karma Graves is a parasitic twin with both male and female organs. Karma Graves says they identify simply as "Karma", and used they/them pronouns. 

Height: 5'3"

Birthday: January 18th

Likes: Ukulele

Dislikes: The dark

Current Status: Alive

For the first 13 years of their life, Karma Graves was kept locked in a small basement by their biological father and were heavily abused. This caused some damage to their overall mental health and stability. Their only source of knowledge on the outside world was through movies from the 90s, resulting in Karma preferring to dress as colourful as possible, use the occasional 90's slang, and develop nostalgia for a generation they were never a part of. Karma was eventually rescued by a secret, organized agency which took them under their wing and trained them as one of their own. Though not being in training for very long, they showed natural skill and talent. They trained at the Canadian branch, but had short training sessions in Japan. The agency wasn't always the most moralistic and good, yet Karma dedicated their life to it. Karma had been invited to Hope's Peak Academy, but their superiors said they wold not be attending. This changed and Karma was sent to Hope's Peak after helping a prisoner of the agency, who they allegedly had a relationship with, escape.  The prisoner was killed on sight. Karma tends to have violent tendencies and manic episodes, but their loyalty and love for their friends is overpowering.

Kobo Okanaya - Ultimate Tour Guide

Gender: Male

Height: 6′2″

Birthday: June 14th

Likes: Boxing

Dislikes: Fish

Other Affiliations: Starlight Tour Company

Current Status: Alive

Kobo became a tour guide while he was growing up in a deprived area of a port town. He was saved by the manager of a tour guide company during a street fight and to return the favour, he learned the craft of being a tour guide. At first, his rough personality made it hard for him to interact with tourists though over time, through teaching he adapted a “Work Personality” which utilises his non-rough appearance, even changing his mannerisms to seem like a more appealing tour guide. His knowledge of Japan’s streets and landmarks were noticed by Hope’s Peak after their scout had caught wind of a teen tour guide being able to put others to shame. Though despite his work personality, Kobo is always ready to get into a fight.

Maemi Watanabe - Ultimate Harem Mangaka

Gender: Female

Height: 5′6″

Birthday: July 8th

Likes: Cherry Blossoms

Dislikes: Being called a Fujoshi

Other Affiliations: HeartBeat Publishing

Current Status: Alive

Calm and level-headed, Maemi does not seem like the type to produce such critically acclaimed harem series. Always wishing to be a writer, but being unable to write long stories with one single couple, Maemi began writing harem manga as a way to let her creative muse run wild. She is the leader type and has a strong attitude which helps her keep control of situations where people may succumb to stress which helped her during ...-Missing Data-...She can also feel out of place in her class since she feels her backstory is not as tragic as the other members of her class. Her only true struggle being her bad luck with men. Suppressing tropes, and wishing to make harem manga more beloved by the public, her headstrong attitude is admired by all mangaka across all genres.

Mami Asano - Ultimate Living Doll

Gender: Female

Height: 5′6″

Birthday May 6th

Likes: Bugs

Dislikes: Chaos

Current Status: Alive

Mami Asano was a regular child, albeit living in luxury, up until the age of 6. It was then that her parents began having her undergo multitudes of surgeries done by underground doctors who would be willing to operate such procedures that would be traumatizing and illegal to do to a child. Mami's surgeries continued until her parents had felt she reached the epitome of artificial beauty: a living doll. Mami was trained to be obedient, submissive, and docile - never questioning her parents or making a decision for herself. She was homeschooled and taught things such as classical literature and music, dance, a number of instruments, high class manners, and other things. She is graceful and elegant. Mami was given severe restrictions on what she could eat, say, and do. She attended frequent public and private events - appearing at art shows or attending formal dances and galas. If she wasn't participating in the event like a regular attendant, she was on display either sitting or standing in a glass case perfectly still, or behind a rope in a large faux "dollhouse", going about and interacting with the environment while others watched, and even gave commands so as to "play" with her. Mami was invited to Hope's Peak and was reluctantly given permission to attend by her parents who believed that her attendance was one of the highest honours

Rina Kirishima - Ultimate Taxidermist 

Gender: Female 

Height: 5′1″ 

Birthday: August 1st 

Likes: All kinds of tea 

Dislikes: Her loved ones in distress 

Current Status: Alive

Introduced to the craft of taxidermy by her grandmother, Rina demonstrated a real talent for it. Unfortunately, her talent and meek demeanour caused her to be bullied in middle school and this shattered her self-worth. Believing she was unworthy to be called by her real name, Rina began referring to herself with the acronym “RAM”, standing for “Rina’s Another Mistake” - “Another Mistake” being the nickname given to her by her bullies. With the help of Sakura Oogami at Hope’s Peak Academy, Rina was finally able to grow a love for herself. Not nearly as shy as she was, Rina consistently does her best to spread kindness to everyone she meets. Her loving heart is always open, and she’s not afraid to give out hugs and the occasional nose kiss. She shows a strong will when confronted with a problem, but will try to solve it with as much thoughtfulness as possible. Hardly will she get extremely angry, but a surefire way to make her mad is to threaten the wellbeing of her loved ones. She also takes her pinky-promises rather seriously, and would appreciate them not be broken.

Ryuu Nagata - Ultimate Lucky Student

Gender: Male

Height: 5′8″

Birthday: February 14th

Likes: Katsudon

Dislikes: Grapes

Current Status: Alive

The twin of Sora Nagata and the 79th class’ Ultimate Lucky student. Unlike other lucky students, Ryuu’s luck doesn’t affect him, but rather the people around him. The earliest sign of this was after he was born, his parents had won the lottery which took place the same week, though at the time they had no idea Ryuu was responsible. Originally a meek and shy boy, Ryuu has grown to become the leader of Future Foundation’s 2nd base, albeit not being confident in his abilities as the leader quite yet. 

Sadao Irunami - Ultimate Hypnotist

Gender: Male

Height: 5′6″

Birthday: May 23rd

Likes: Pendulums

Dislikes: Blackouts

Other Affiliations: The Irunami Circus

Current Status: Resurrected

A playful prankster who was a former member of a travelling circus, Sadao learned all he knew from the ringmaster of the circus, his grandfather. He has an impulsive and child-like nature which many can find troublesome though he manages to have his moments of showing off his calculating and selfless side when he wishes to help his friends. When he was young, he no longer wished to be part of the circus and he ran away and became a street performer in Tokyo until Hope’s Peak Academy took notice and asked him to join 79-C.

Saori Kibe - Ultimate Paranormal Investigator

Gender: Female

Height: 5′ 11″

Birthday: June 13

Likes: Conspiracies, the paranormal, and scene aesthetic

Dislikes: Non-believers

Current Status: Alive

Saori genuinely believes she was abducted by aliens and tested on as a toddler. Whether or not this actually happened is unknown. She believes this is why she’s able to interact with the paranormal how she does - and has since been seeking out all the paranormal things she can, helping people with their paranormal problems along the way. She would even travel to different countries and continents. Saori was let into Hope’s Peak as the Ultimate Paranormal Investigator. Saori is a trans girl preferring she/her pronouns, despite her school records saying her dead name and pronouns.

Sly ??? - Ultimate Assassin

Gender: Male

Height: 6’1”

Birthday: July 9th

Likes: Pancakes, Training, Naps

Dislikes: People questioning his abilities

Other Affiliations: ??? Assassin Agency

Current Status: Alive

Having lost both his father and mother, Sly has become the leader of the worlds biggest assassin agency at the age of 18. He has been killing since the young age of 4, making him an extremely experienced fighter. After losing his mother he threw himself into the family business quickly becoming one the top assassins in the business. He wears her dog tag around his neck at all times, which was given to him as a gift from his childhood friend and partner Maki Harukawa. It’s said that his eyes turn from their natural grey to a deep black when filled with rage earning him the name “The Demon Killer” across the Underworld.

Tomoe Hachi - Ultimate Illustionist

Gender: ??? (Goes by They/Them pronouns) 

Height: 5’8” 

Birthday: September 1st 

Likes: Konpeito 

Dislikes: Coffee 

Current Status: Alive 

Tomoe keeps their personal life a mystery. However, they have told people that they’ve simply practiced magic tricks and illusions since they were 4, and may have forgone eating or sleeping for it. They like to keep their mask and magician attire on to hide their physical appearance, except for their hair, which is black, curly and messy. They say that the mysterious aura helps them with their illusions.

Toson Shinko - Ultimate Horror Movie Director

Gender: Male

Height: 6′0″

Birthday: August 30th

Likes: Suspense

Dislikes: Unnecessary Gore

Other Affiliations: Shinko Movie Productions

Current Status: Deceased (As of The Big Bang Arc)

An award winning and genre changing director with a surplus of modern classics, Toson is the most influential director of modern times, even though his reasoning for becoming a director was not in any way inspirational. His father, Shouji Shinko, was a failed horror movie director, and not wishing to be associated with his failures, Toson decided he would create his own horror movies and make a name for himself, separate from his father. Arrogant about his achievements, Toson can be off-putting to people who aren’t used to his blunt words and rude mannerisms, however deep down he can’t stand being around conventionally attractive people as he falls in love easily, nor can he sit by when his friends are hurting.

Tsukiko Ishikawa - Ultimate Thanatologist

Gender: Female

Height: 5′4″

Birthday: August 15th

Likes: Body Farms

Dislikes: Processed Cheese

Current Status: Alive (Thinks of herself as undead)

As a thanatologist, Tsukiko is an expert in all things death: decomposition, rituals, funerals, etc. Similarly, she dresses appropriately in dark clothing. However, in sharp contrast, she's easily one of the most upbeat, cheerful one could meet. While she can come across as weird and creepy, she's really a nice girl. However, her most eccentric quality may be the fact that she believes she's already dead: she suffers from Cotard's Delusion, believing herself to be a walking corpse, even when others point out the inconsistencies in that fact.

Yuuki Kurosaki - Ultimate ??? (Claims of Ultimate Explorer and Ultimate Theorist)

Gender: Male

Height: 6′0″

Birthday: July 1st

Likes: Scrapbooks

Dislikes: Arrows

Current Status: Alive

Travelling from continent to continent, Yuuki Kurosaki is always searching for his next adventure. With credits for discovering hidden temples across the globe and recovering treasure, Yuuki is known among treasure hunters and explorers alike. He loves and values family over everything else, especially admiring his brother Taro. Though he also fears creating bonds with people after...-Data Missing-...occurred, though after he,...-Data Missing-... and two others...-Data Missing-... His personality became more unpredictable. 

[etaeternum]

The Huntress

Mother of Griffons CH 13 Hale’Harel. Nate gets to know my Hale.  Find it on AO3 or read the rest on Tumblr This is actually one of my favorite chapters from MoG. I did some updates to it a while ago and I like how they initiate things between Nathaniel and Hale. TONS of internal dialogue from Nate.

Panting, each Grey Warden’s legs clung to the saddle of their horse, sore from the repetitive impact. The trees blurred together and the sound of swift hooves stomping on dirt and dead leaves blended to a steady roar around them, pushing them all onward despite the cold. Earth, dampened by melted frost, kicked up and caked on their boots and their horses sped through thickening forest, dense with barren trees; the absence of foliage gave truth to the harsh and frigid temperature as they skirted the edges of Emprise du Lion.

Nathaniel Howe led the stampede of Grey Wardens as they raced the fall of night. The Wardens were driven to cover as much distance as possible before the denseness of trees would prevent their ability to navigate in the dark and ultimately to escape the icy climate of the Emprise. At the last viable moment, when each rider could only see as far ahead as the horse in front of them, Nathaniel lifted his arm to halt the band. Riders mimicked the motion in succession so that they ceased movement with fluidity, the wave of hooves' vibrations ebbed into the silence that reverberated around them. Their breath was audible and seemed to echo through the surrounding forest.

"Here," Nathaniel said firmly. The first of their party willing to break the eerie stillness. They had stopped at a clearing, a gap in the trees with enough room for their tents to fit within a relative proximity to each other with a campfire in the middle. Self-directed and eager for warmth, the Wardens dismounted their horses and set up their camp in the darkness. Nathaniel pulled a blond Elven man to the side as they worked.

"Scout the area for threats. Then find the highest point and look west. I want to know how far we are from the Graves. Take someone with you." Nathaniel gave orders to the archer. Hale watched in detached observance, curious of the interaction. Isenam was to be their guide through the Arbor Wilds, Hale remembered. Though he was now frowning, she noticed the wrinkles around his eyes indicating frequent laughter.

Isenam nodded to Nathaniel and grabbed his bow. "Val!" He barked the Dwarf’s nickname, startling Valum from where he secured the post of a tent into the earth. Isenam followed the call with a whistle and an arm gesture for Val to join him. The two secured their weapons and set forth from their camp to survey. Through laughter at the Dwarf's expense, the Elven man patted the Dwarf on the back while they walked.

Between the nine remaining members, the encampment was quickly erected and a campfire lit. Unlike the previous night, the Wardens crowded together around the crackling heat. The intensity of cold hit them suddenly as the exertion from riding and setting the camp had ceased. Even Hale did not isolate herself, joining the group around the fire with the same desperation as the rest. Nathaniel stood slightly removed, looking over his shoulder for the return of Isenam and Valum.

"So…" Hale chimed in as they held their gloved hands over the campfire. "Fuck this shite."

The group turned to her with surprised, questioning glances; one eyebrow raised inquisitively, Nathaniel's sight shifted to Hale, his arms crossed with authority. Her long, assertive strides exuded confidence as she smugly drifted from the seven other Wardens standing directly around the fire back to her horse, tied near some tents. She was all too comfortable- as if the forest was her home, and her Warden brethren had come for a visit. A moment later, she returned with a drum. It had a single flat, circular surface and the wood sides angled inward before flaring back out. She casually flipped it over, holding the weight of the drum in one hand, and pulled a flask from the body. Delicately, she set the drum down in front of her feet. "Let’s warm things up, yeah?" She said with a grin, bowing her head behind her flask and taking a sip. She hissed after she swallowed, her grin remaining as she offered the flask to the person to her left.

The Wardens were stunned. Some peeked over their shoulders to Nathaniel to see his reaction. His face remained ambivalent, and he did not intervene. There was nothing that said Grey Wardens were not permitted to drink during their quests, but typically they waited for permission from their acting leader, after duties were assigned. Since Nathaniel did not seem opposed, the next person in the circle shrugged and took the flask. She took a sip and coughed.

"Maker's beard, Hale. What is this?" She asked through coughs.

Hale laughed. "Qunari shite. Can't pronounce it." She surveyed the human mischievously, wondering what her reaction would be. "Warmer now though, aren't ya hun? That shite hits the spot."

The woman's eyebrow raised at Hale and she spoke firmly. "It's Damia, and yes. Thanks… I think." She lifted the flask and nodded in skeptical gratitude to Hale before passing the drink to the next person who sipped with a similar reaction.

Time passed as the flask slowly went around the circle and the group grew more comfortable, despite the frigid temperatures. Hale found a log for herself and pushed it towards the fire. The Wardens, including Damia, talked amongst themselves, laughter occasionally floating through the air. She sat down and pulled the drum to her, strumming her fingers on the taut surface. Growing bored, Hale glanced over her shoulder to Nathaniel as Isenam and Valum returned to him, giving him an update on their location and any risks. Listening as well as she could, she heard that they were safe. She took that as a cue.

"Lieutenant!" She yelled to grab his attention. "Fucking sit down and join us!"

Nathaniel smiled back. It was a charming grin, but she sensed something twisted within it. "No," he replied through his smirk.

He offered no explanation to his answer. Noticing some subtle similarities between Hale and Caoilainn, Nathaniel sarcastically thought to himself, This is exactly what I need. Another bossy woman in my life.

Her eyes narrowed to a squint and Nathaniel saw the frustration in her glance. The young Elf so eagerly wanted him to join her. And under other circumstances he would, but for tonight he was dutiful in his work and that included keeping his distance. The light of the fire danced on her face as she glared at him from a few paces away.

"Oh, come on! Warm up and have some fun."

"Someone has to stand watch, Hale," he replied resolutely. As he spoke, Isenam and Valum joined the circle and took the flask still wandering through the group. Though the flushed cheeks of those who had multiple sips of the alcohol were not visible by the campfire, the early signs of slurred speech and swayed movements were plain. The rest of the group found their own logs to push near the fire and sit.

"Fine," she replied curtly, her tone stubborn. "We'll have fun without you." She turned to Damia sitting next to her, laughing lightly, visibly intoxicated. "Hun," Hale called. Damia looked over her shoulder to Hale and squinted, playfully scolding Hale with her eyes for using the nickname. Hale curled her finger to bring Damia closer. Leaning over to Hale, Damia giggled loudly as Hale whispered something in her ear, then she nodded.

Nathaniel remained observant, but his suspicion of Hale grew as he followed the interaction. Before he had a chance to interrupt what he thought he saw, Hale beat her drum once then strummed her fingers loudly on the surface. With another beat, Damia stood. Hale beat again, and again. Then at once, she struck the surface in different locations in rapid succession, creating unique vibrations and notes to the music. It was quick, the beat alluring and provocative. Damia's hips swayed as she understood the beat; she pulled up another friend to dance with her. Hale's grin widened, and she made a high-pitched cry led by a loud roll of her tongue and an upward inflection. The other Wardens cried out, a few of the elves answering the unique call she made with their own. Soon, most of the Wardens were dancing to Hale's drumming, the others pleased with observing, and the flask still making its way around. Victoriously, Hale looked over to Nathaniel.

He was watching the activity around the campfire with mild awe. This was an experience as Lieutenant that he could safely say he never had, nor ever expected to. Under other circumstances, he would shut this party down, but Isenam and Val had reported no activity, not even animal, in the vicinity. His curiosity about the young Elven woman was magnified by her behavior. She was quite talented as a drummer, and even more so at lightening a mood. This is the Warden that started a brawl at Vigil’s Keep? He pondered.

The group didn't seem to notice Hale's drumming gradually fade. Those dancing were now sweating in the cold, the energy effortlessly shifting to laughter and jovial conversation. Nathaniel's glance shifted to Hale when she finished her song. Genuinely impressed with the festivities she had livened, and still wary to stay away from her, he gave Hale a salute.

And as though that were a message, Hale rose from her spot by the fire and walked to him, her drum in one hand. The crackling fire behind her prevented him from reading her expression, but the attractive motion of her hips was undeniable. He suspected she was smiling as she neared. Ever so slightly intimidated by the girl, unsure of what she was about to do, he shifted on his feet. Eyes remained locked, tension building with each slow step she took, until she walked right past him to her tent. Puzzled, he followed her with his eyes as she entered her tent with her drum. A moment later emerged with her quiver and bow instead.

"Good time for a hunt," she said through a smirk as she walked toward him. Then she lightly jogged away from the encampment.

"Wait!" Nathaniel yelled after her as Hale darted off. He glanced at the group by the fire and determined them safe before he rolled his eyes and followed her. Stupid girl. This is not the time or place for a fucking hunt. But concern and duty called him to follow. She was his charge, and he made a commitment to both his Commander and the Inquisitor to keep her safe.

Eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could see the outlines of trees, and at least a few yards ahead of him. He followed her footsteps, tuning into his senses for the light shifting of leaves, the soft thuds of her boots landing on softened dirt, any sign that she was near. Then suddenly, the sounds ceased. He stopped in a small clearing when he no longer heard her, met with immediate quiet. The activity of the encampment just barely audible in the distance. Damn. I took the fucking bait. "Hale?" He whispered loudly, recognizing that this was some ploy by the girl.

Then he heard a thump behind him. Acting only on reflexes, he swiftly turned around a lifted his hand in defense. Hale's eyes widened in fear before her lips spread to a shit-eating grin. She swallowed. "Yeah?"

Nathaniel lowered his hand quickly and glared viciously. "Fuck Hale. Don't do that. I would hurt killed you."

"But you didn't," she said lightly, crossing her arms as she studied his reaction to her.

"You wandered from the camp without permission," he scolded, just as frustrated with himself for following as with her for wandering off. "You put yourself, the camp and me in danger. I could have you reprimanded."

"But you won't," she quipped.

"But I should," he continued scolding.  "We're going back to the camp. This hunt is over."

Slow steps in the darkness with the distant glow of the campfire their target, Hale and Nathaniel walked in an awkward, weighted hush. The tension was palpable; Hale knew she was not in his favor. Delicate, deliberate, and experienced paces carried them carefully through the dense forest.

Then suddenly, Hale tripped. "Dammit!" She yelled as she grabbed Nathaniel in her fall. He caught her and lifted her forcefully. "Thanks, mate," she said with a friendly tone as she attempted to stand free from him, unable because Nathaniel held her by the wrist.

"Give it back," he said in a firm and impatient voice.

"What are you talkin' about?" Hale replied, attempting to play her innocence from any accusations he might be making. She lightly pulled at her wrist in a lazy effort to free herself from his grasp.

"I said," he restated. "Give it back."

With a huff Hale pulled a small sextant from her pocket with her other hand. Head lowered in guilt from being caught, she extended her hand with the gold navigation device resting in her palm. Nathaniel took it from her with his free hand and put it back in his pocket. "And I saw you steal something from Damia earlier too. I suggest you give it back, even better if you do so before she notices. The Grey Wardens are your family now and that won’t stop them from teaching you a lesson. You're cunning, hunter, but cunning won't save you from those far more skilled in stealth and combat than you."

Hale groaned and rolled her eyes, her lips full in an angry pout. "Got it," she replied stubbornly, glaring at Nathaniel with her narrow wrist still gripped in his large hand. "Let go."

"No," he stated bluntly, determined to finally uncover the mystery of this difficult young woman. "Not until you tell me what your problem is."

"Fuck sort of question is that?" She asked with irritation, clearly not interested in talking about herself, her hand limp in Nathaniel's bind. Her vitriol conflicted with her lax posture, and Nathaniel could not read her eyes as her messy hair cascaded around her face.

"The kind I'm asking as the officer you report to on this mission." Though his grip didn't loosen, he knew Hale could free herself if she truly wanted. Skilled enough in combat and especially evasion, she would easily know how to remove herself from his grasp, but she didn't. It compelled his intrigue.

"What d'you want to know?" She inquired begrudgingly.

She’s like a difficult kid. "Where do you come from?" Nathaniel asked in a serious tone.

He wasn't sure if she was considering her response or passively refusing to answer as a long pause passed between them. The tone of her energy did not match her body language, he noticed as he studied her hostility.

Eventually, she spoke bluntly and spit at the ground. "Go plough yerself."

Lovely, he thought bitterly. Then his head tilted back as his harsh and deep laugh boomed through the quiet. He was not amused. "Insubordination isn’t tolerated, Warden. And discharge is an option. Your conscription can be undone. So should you wish to stay out of jail, I’d suggest you follow my orders."

Resentment and sarcasm coated every word that came from her mouth. "I'm Dalish. The Inquisitor is my cousin, but you knew that. Didn't think I needed to tell you again."

Her reply lacked any information of substance. She was deliberately delaying the conversation. But why?

"I'm tiring of this game," he replied in aggravation. He knew that there was more to her story, though the details eluded him, and he wanted her to explain. "You didn't learn how to pickpocket from the Dalish, and you sure as shit didn't get an accent like that from the Lavellan clan." Nathaniel knew enough about the Lavellan from his time in the Free Marches. They were one of the Elven clans most inclined to trade with humans.

"Fine." Hale sighed. "Grew up in the Denerim Alienage." Heavy silence followed her words.

Nathaniel did not push for her to say more. Well, that explains it. He waited patiently until she sullenly continued.

"My da was a trader from the Lavellan clan. He taught me everything 'fore he died. I got stranded there." She stopped for a moment, staring hard at the ground, teeth clenched. She was seething at the details of the recollection she neglected to share. Her gaze traveled up to Nate's, daring him. "Stealing's handy fucking skill for a street rat, ya know? So's hunting. Made decent money selling what I killed."

They stood reticently; shocked at her story, Nathaniel released her wrist. He had no reply and for a moment he regretted pushing the information from her. But an inconsistency interrupted the regret. "When you saw the Inquisitor, you said 'you know I always come back.' How’s that if you've been living in the Alienage?" He was highly skeptical of the thief's honesty but his tone remained neutral.

"When I's old enough I left the Alienage to find my clan. But it wasn't home no more. I lived between them, but mostly I just stayed out of both. Forest's more home than some slum fucking street or some traveling elven circus. Then I got conscripted, and I guess I figured I owed it to our Bitch Queen Commander," Hale continued. Nathaniel, grateful for the darkness, stifled a laugh by coughing. "Because she killed the fucks who killed my dad. And now I'm a fucking Grey Warden."

Casually, the young Elf reached into her boot and pulled another flask. As she moved to unscrew the lid, Nathaniel saw the glimmer of the container. "Give me that," he said with exasperation, his tone resounding his disapproval. He took it from her hand and glared before sighing and drinking from the flask himself. He did not return it to her. "I’m sorry about all that happened,” he offered, but ultimately had no other words of apology for Hale. “But being a Grey Warden can change your life if you let it. Let's get back," he scolded, motioning for her to keep moving toward the camp and taking another swig from her flask.

"See you're finally willing to have some fun, Lieutenant." As they walked she mocked his earlier decline of joining the festivities she had riled. "Finally realizing yer leash is long enough to let loose?"

"What are you getting at?" Feelings of impatience and annoyance returned toward the young woman.

"Oh, well…" The condescension in her tone was noticeable as she mocked him. "The Bitch Queen Commander. She's got you pretty well trained, don’t she?" Nate did not immediately answer. "Come on mate, it's kind of obvious."

She’s a Nightmare Demon. Hale's humor disregarded the years of effort he had put into following Caoilainn's rules. The Warden Commander dreaded the idea of her army knowing of their dalliances.

"She's my Commander," he explained, glad she couldn’t see his slightly reddening face as they walked. "No, I don't have to explain anything to you. And I'll add a warning: insulting the Warden Commander is also insubordination."

"'Course it is," she nodded her head in sarcastic solemnity, then her tone shifted. "Care to reprimand me this time , Lieutenant? I'm sure you got some clever ways."

"What are you-" he started as his disapproval heightened, but stopped midsentence as he realized the suggestive nature of her tone. She was watching for his reaction with a raised eyebrow, challenging him to respond. He gave a short laugh and cut the line of conversation off. "Hah. No. Nope. We're still on a mission and you and I are not going there."

Did I just say that? Typically he was unopposed to advances from women, but he had been playing this game long enough to know when a woman was not worth the consequences, no matter how outstanding she might be in bed. This was one of those times and this young hunter was far too wild for his taste. Not to mention, the threats he had received from Caoilainn and the Inquisitor compounded the lack of interest in the risk. But he could not deny the magnetism of his curiosity about her and so far that kept him from following through with threats of reprimand or discharge. This girl's playing with fire.

"Oh, come on," she teased. "Aren't you the type to prey on young Wardens, Lieutenant?" Her question danced around Nathaniel’s suspected transgressions with intrigue; the eagerness in her voice was tangible.

He gave the same charming smile as before. I’m not taking the bait this time. "I might be,” he admitted nonchalantly. “But I'm not the one preying here, huntress."

Silence heavily filled the pause between them. When Hale replied, her grin was audible, her tone flirty and tempting. "But Lieutenant, yer girlfriend's not here. You can do what-"

Despite the buzz of the strong alcohol, Nathaniel's agility was not diminished. The sound of shuffling dead leaves, Hale's gasp, followed by a soft thud, concluded with Nathaniel backing Hale to a tree. He didn't touch her, aware the proximity of this interaction contradicted his professionalism. It's difficult to remain professional with this girl. They were still out of earshot from the camp though the activity from around the campfire was discernable. "I mean it, Hale." He said darkly, clearly vexed. "You're treading on thin ice."

She flashed her teeth in a sultry half snarl, half smile. He could feel her breath against him. The clouds of air leaving their mouths in small puffs was visible in the cold. "It's good I'm light on my feet then." Her voice was low, testing, and unafraid.

They stayed like this for many slow, stretched seconds, glaring at each other, neither willing to succumb. Her weight was shifted to one leg, a defensive posture. So use it. React. Yet, Nate noticed again that she did not push closer to him. She had several points from this position that she could overpower him but she didn't. Instead, she stayed passively pinned.

"Fine. Promise, Lieutenant. I'll be on my best behavior," Hale caved first and Nathaniel released her.

"Good," he replied shortly, certain that her words were meaningless, if only because he had prevaricated the same commitment to Caoilainn time and time again. The pair walked back to the camp.

[toast-connoisseur]

All the "weird asks"

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? -I’m actually obsessed with coffee mugs and tea cups even though I don’t drink coffee nor tea.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? -Chocolate bars

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? -Cotton Candy!

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? -It’s funny because I actually found some of my old report cards recently... they range from “a pleasure to have in class!” to “danger of failing the course” even though my grade for both of those would be an “A” ?

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? -The soda from a bottle from Mexico hits completely different.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? -Personally, I don’t dress like any of those but I am attracted to tomboys.

7. earbuds or headphones? -Depends. Mostly, earbuds.

8. movies or tv shows? -Movies.

9. favorite smell in the summer? -All the seasonal smells from the stores!

10. game you were best at in p.e.? -Softball or tennis.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? -One slice of toast and one egg.

12. name of your favorite playlist? -I made my friend a playlist called “Emo Turn Up” and I like that one a lot.

13. lanyard or key ring? -Key ring, but I have a lanyard because I tend to leave my purse in the car and that way I can just carry my keys around my neck. Also, my lanyard is Nightmare Before Christmas themed, so she’s beautiful.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? -Lollipops, actually lol

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? -Rosemary’s Baby. Although, I kind of got to pick the book for my assignment.

16. most comfortable position to sit in? -One leg is usually elevated while the other has my foot flat on the ground.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? -My Chuck Taylor’s!

18. ideal weather? -I have two technically. I love blue skies with a slight breeze but I also love windy rainy weather.

19. sleeping position? -On my side, on leg curled up and the other straight (kind of like how I sit) while I hold a pillow to my chest.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? -Notebook and post its!

21. obsession from childhood? -Stickers!! Although I never actually stuck them anywhere except on other papers or just left them on their page. I collected them so I didn’t like them getting ugly.

22. role model? -Dita Von Teese!

23. strange habits? -I guess if it’s habit, I probably wouldn’t consider it strange. I do write everything down. Like, everything. I have a list of every movie I’ve ever watched (I had to stop updating it because it was giving me anxiety due to how many movies I watch), I make post it notes that I eventually compile into notebook pages. Any information I never want to lose gets written down somewhere.

24. favorite crystal? Aventurine

25. first song you remember hearing? -It would’ve been something in Spanish. Most likely one of the many songs my mom used to sing to me.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? -Although I rarely get to do it: sitting in the sun/going to the beach or a pool. If it’s warm with a breeze I can lay outside for quite some time.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? -Watch movies on the couch with a blanket over me.

28. five songs to describe you? -Brown Eyed Girl (the original is nice but I love the Reel Big Fish version), Because I’m Awesome (The Dollyrots), Hot Mess (Cobra Starship), I’m Just a Kid (even though I’m almost 25. Simple Plan), Independent (Webbie)

29. best way to bond with you? -Be open and honest. I love talking about books, movies, and music but talk to me about conspiracy theories and ghost stories and you’ll have my heart. I love when people have stories revolving around their culture. I’m Mexican and we have lots of myths and stories to swap so it’s awesome.

30. places that you find sacred? -A person’s bedroom can be sacred. Call me silly but Disneyland is kind of sacred to me. It hold so many wonderful memories. I only like to share certain spots with certain people sometimes.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? -Probably whatever outfit I have on at the moment. I don’t really plan to kick anyone’s ass let alone want to plan a whole outfit for it. I assume leggings and a t shirt will do?

32. top five favorite vines? -omg I miss vine! I was actually going through vines on YouTube recently... The “Miss Keisha” vine always kills me, any vine with Sarah Baska, anything that Zane and Heath ever made, Jay Versace has really funny vines too, and I still quote the “welcome to Chilis” vine constantly. Picking 5 is way too hard.

33. most used phrase in your phone? -“it be like that sometimes” or “yaaaaaaas”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? -The Red Robin commercial and the O’Riley Auto Parts one play in my head on loop at the worst times.

35. average time you fall asleep? -I lay down around 9ish but don’t actually fall asleep until 10PM

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? -That’s way too hard to remember. Probably something I would consider really stupid now.

37. suitcase or duffel bag? -Depends on how long I’ll be away/how many clothes I’ll need. Usually, a suitcase.

38. lemonade or tea? -Lemonade.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? -omg why would you make me pick?! Lemon meringue pie though...

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? -I went to a public high school in LA. We mostly had riots and fights and I stayed away from all of that.

41. last person you texted? -Jayla. I need her to wake up so I can tell her about my dream about Beyoncé.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? -Por que no los dos?! I like buying men’s jean jackets because they have pockets inside though...

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? -Depends. I tend to get cold easily so I usually start with a cardigan but I love jean jackets.

44. favorite scent for soap? -just plain ol clean??

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? -Fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? -Depends on the weather but usually just shorts and a t shirt.

47. favorite type of cheese? -Mozzarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? -Grapes. Sweet and sometimes a little sour lol

49. what saying or quote do you live by? -“Let your imaginarlo run free”. I actually have it tattooed on my right bicep.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? -My friends always get me to laugh really hard. I think the hardest I’ve ever laughed was when my friend tried to say something and she completely botched the sentence so it was pure gibberish and yet I understood her? We just looked at each other and burst into laughter.

51. current stresses? -Work, school, life... the usual??

52. favorite font? -Arial

53. what is the current state of your hands? -I am typing my answers to these questions on my phone...

54. what did you learn from your first job? -I only have infinite patience for kids, not adults.

55. favorite fairy tale? -Used to be Cinderella, but I was never really one for fairy tales tbh

56. favorite tradition? -I don’t actually have any. Never really had anyone to have traditions with.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? -2018 was an entire struggle, car crashes because idiot drivers crashed into mine and totaled mine (TWICE), my entire life as a whole has been a struggle tbh. Every day is one that I try my hardest to overcome.

58. four talents you’re proud of having? -I don’t really consider myself as someone with any talent, let alone four, but... A mathematician once taught me how to divide any number by five in my head, I’m pretty good at mimicking certain accents, idk of this counts as a talent but I can drink quite a bit before I actually feel anything, I can recite certain movies down to what song will play during certain scenes, and I would consider myself the ultimate Disneyland tour guide. That’s five but it’s all I can think of so if one doesn’t sound like one, we have an extra.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? -“Oh shit, here we go again...”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? -I know nothing about anime so I wouldn’t even know. I would want to make a joke about being in the ones that are essentially pornos but I’m probably wrong with that too.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? -“The greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” Idk if the line comes from elsewhere but I first heard it in the movie Moulin Rouge and it has stuck with me since.

62. seven characters you relate to? -Oh geez, I don’t really relate to any tbh but seven characters I like: Princess Tiana, Shane from The L Word, Theo from the Netflix version of A Haunting of Hill House, Satine from Moulin Rouge, Wall-E, Cassandra from Saved!, and The Grinch (as wonderfully played by Jim Carrey)

63. five songs that would play in your club? -Act Up (City Girls), Motivation (Normani), LGBT (Cupcakke), Alcohol (Millionaires, lol), My Type (Saweetie)

64. favorite website from your childhood? -Neopets!

65. any permanent scars? -I have one from when I stuck my hand in a garbage can because I was looking for something and wound up cutting myself on all the glass that had been thrown in. The scar is super tiny and on my pinkie lol

66. favorite flower(s)? -Roses and carnations

67. good luck charms? -I don’t have any anymore.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? -I tried sea urchin once and I swear I can still taste it.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? -All leaves have symmetry (unless tampered with)

70. left or right handed? -I’m right handed but I use my left hand as dominant for a lot of stuff? It’s weird.

71. least favorite pattern? One that isn’t symmetrical.

72. worst subject? -I was once good at math and now I’m horrible.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? -Some think syrup on bacon is gross but I love when the syrup from my pancakes falls on it!

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? -10

75. when did you lose your first tooth? -I have no idea. I lost all my baby teeth early on. I’ll go with 5 or 6...

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? -Can’t go wrong with French Fries!

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? -I recently revived the orchid my boss has on his windowsill and I’m quite proud of that.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? -I don’t drink coffee but I love sushi...

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? -Now, my driver’s license photo. I retook it recently lol

80. earth tones or jewel tones? -Jewel (with a mix of earth?)

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? -There’s a difference? Fireflies, I guess?

82. pc or console? -Console, though I love PC games.

83. writing or drawing? -I’m shit at drawing but I love to doodle. Writing is my favorite though.

84. podcasts or talk radio? -Podcasts

84. barbie or polly pocket? -My childhood nickname is Barbie (my middle name is Barbara) so I only played with Barbies even though I only dressed them because I liked their clothes and then then threw them to the side to play other games.

85. fairy tales or mythology? -Mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes? -Cookies

87. your greatest fear? -Being buried alive.

88. your greatest wish? -To be truly happy.

89. who would you put before everyone else? -My family/close friends.

90. luckiest mistake? -My entire life? I guess it would be taking a job in a field I knew nothing about which led me to learn about said field. I’m now somewhat successful in that field.

91. boxes or bags? -Depends on what I’m carrying but I love boxes. Bags are much easier though... I guess I’ll go with bags.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? -Sunlight/sunset.

93. nicknames? -Barbie, a friend in high school used to call me West Side Story because my first name is Maria, Barbz...

94. favorite season? -Fall

95. favorite app on your phone? -I like IG

96. desktop background? -Wildflowers

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? -5? My friends have changed their numbers before so I remember their old numbers only lol

98. favorite historical era? -I love the fashion of the fashion and cars of the 1940s but I would never want to go back. We’re barely making any progress towards equality as is so going back would not be an option for me.

Thanks for the questions, Anon!💞

[junker-town]

Major Applewhite faces immediate pressure at Houston. He probably likes it that way.

This preview originally published May 2 and has since been updated.

Major Applewhite certainly isn’t a stranger to the idea of subbing in for a star. He’s not even completely unfamiliar with doing it when Houston’s involved.

In 2000, as Texas’ incumbent starting quarterback, Applewhite faced stiff competition with golden-boy recruit Chris Simms to hold onto his job. After a frustrating loss to Stanford in Week 2, in which Applewhite threw two picks and took five sacks, Simms got the nod in Week 3 against Houston ... and proceeded to throw a pick in his first play and get sacked in his second.

Applewhite subbed in and went 13-for-21 as the Longhorns eased into blowout mode and won, 48-0. He would hold onto his starting job and throw for 2,164 yards until an injury against Texas Tech ended his starting tenure. Simms took over, looked great against Texas A&M (and less than great in a bowl loss), and became full-time starter the following spring.

After starting for parts of three seasons, Applewhite was relegated to the bench for most of his senior season. But with a BCS title game bid on the line, Simms struggled drastically in the Big 12 title game. Applewhite led a huge comeback; down 29-10 late in the second quarter, Texas rallied to fall, 39-37.

So you could say he’s used to pulling a program out of a skid when the star’s tenure doesn’t follow the script.

Tom Herman was supposed to be the guy who led Houston to the promised land. Everything he touched turned to gold in 2016 and early 2017. Houston was both good and lucky as hell in 2016, going 13-1 and enjoying a rousing Peach Bowl win over Florida State. He then signed the best recruiting class in the mid-major universe, inking, among other prospects, soon-to-be stud defensive tackle Ed Oliver. And in the summer months, it looked as if Houston was in prime position to land a spot in an expanding Big 12.

The Cougars began the season with another rousing, elite win — this time over eventual Big 12 champion Oklahoma. All was right with the #HTownTakeover. But if you’re counting on the Big 12 to light your way forward, well, there’s a flaw in your plan. Suddenly Houston was too good to invite.

If the Longhorns won’t suffer for Houston’s inclusion, and state politics can convince the rest of Texas’ Big 12 members, the Cougars’ real problems are the member programs outside of the state who feast on Lone Star recruiting and exposure: Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, Iowa State, Kansas, and Kansas State. (West Virginia signs almost no recruits from the state of Texas.)

Sources at multiple candidate schools have told SB Nation that Houston’s growth potential could jeopardize UH’s bid to the Big 12.

Oklahoma State head coach Mike Gundy spoke candidly about the situation to the Tulsa World last month: "Anyone that’s not in Texas will have a more difficult time recruiting Texas if another Texas school gets in this league," he reiterated.

Fast forward three months: the Big 12 elected not to expand (again), Houston’s College Football Playoff hopes were dashed by Navy, the Cougars lost twice more in conference play (via blowout at SMU and comeback at Memphis), and Herman took the open job at Texas. He was going to end up in the Big 12 regardless; it was just a question of whether Houston would come with him.

At Podcast Ain’t Played Nobody, Steven Godfrey and I find ourselves frequently discussing the thought of emerging powers — who they might be, how they might form, etc. And a year ago, I found myself thinking of UH as a potential New Miami. Herman was making wonderful inroads in recruiting the state of Houston (as Howard Schnellenberger famously recruited the “state of Miami”), and the potential there would only grow if the Cougars found themselves in a power conference. To be sure, OSU and those other concerned Big 12 schools were right to be worried about Houston stealing their oxygen.

Of course, that’s exactly why Houston might have been a great choice. It looked like the Big 12 might actually be able to pull off adding a major national program — something that hasn’t been an option since the 2010 and 2011 rounds of conference realignment. Only, it would have been one that it created. Instead, short-term self interest from second-tier conference programs won out. Self interest always wins out in the Big 12.

So now, Houston goes back to simply trying to be an AAC West power. It won’t be easy. Memphis is stacked. Tulsa is explosive. Navy is Navy. SMU is rising. Applewhite faces Herman-level expectations, only without Herman’s star pupil (quarterback Greg Ward Jr.) or star defensive coordinator (Todd Orlando). He’s down 39-10; will he come out firing?

2016 in review

2016 Houston statistical profile.

The gist of my 2016 Houston preview: Herman’s Cougars were probably not as good as their record in 2015 and could both a) improve and b) suffer a couple of unexpected losses as the universe rights itself.

Check and check. In terms of S&P+, Houston improved from 44th to 39th. The offense had to replace its top three running backs and four experienced pieces up front, and the run game cratered. The defense surged from 59th to 25th in Def. S&P+, but the offense sank from 29th to 69th.

Of course, those are yearlong averages. For the most part, Houston looked the part of a true contender until the Navy game threw everything off-script.

First 5 games (5-0): Avg. percentile performance: 76% (~top 30) | Avg. yards per play: UH 5.9, Opp 4.4 (plus-1.5) | Avg. performance vs. S&P+ projection: plus-22.6 PPG

Last 8 games (4-4): Avg. percentile performance: 52% (~top 60) | Avg. yards per play: Opp 5.0, UH 5.0 (plus-0.0) | Avg. performance vs. S&P+ projection: minus-10.8 PPG

Moving the ball became a labor as the year went on and Ward took more and more of a beating. The run game was nonexistent, and after producing a passer rating of 166.2 during UH’s 5-0 start, Ward hit just 131.2 the rest of the year. His completion rate fell from 71 percent to 67, and his interception rate rose from 1.4 percent to 3.3. He was asked to do too much, the offense stalled out more, and the defense eventually stuttered.

Aside from an inspired massacre of Louisville, the last half of the season was pretty directionless for the Cougars, as if everyone involved knew where things were headed once the Big 12 didn’t expand and the CFP was no longer in sights.

Offense

Full advanced stats glossary.

Safe to say, Ward was the 2016 Houston offense. He completed a high percentage of passes on standard downs and scrambled to move the chains on passing downs. He had a nice receiving corps at his disposal, but it was asked to do too much to account for a miserable run game.

Despite Ward’s reputation as mainly a rushing quarterback, Houston ranked 45th in Passing S&P+ and 91st in Rushing S&P+ last year. Four Cougar running backs — Texas transfer Duke Catalon, Dillon Birden, and freshmen Mulbah Car and Kevrin Justice — combined to average a wretched 4 yards per carry, and even with his scrambling ability, Ward averaged just 4.5 sans sacks.

The running backs weren’t ready, and the offensive line was starting a new lineup each week. All told, nine different linemen started at least four games, and only one started all 13. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen that before. Your run game has no chance in that situation.

For better or worse, it’s a fresh start in 2017. Ward’s gone, and Applewhite has moved to a bigger office. He brought in former Utah offensive coordinator and Mississippi State quarterbacks coach Brian Johnson to lead his offense, and he has Texas A&M transfer Kyle Allen behind center.

Photo by Frederick Breedon/Getty Images

Kyle Allen

You could certainly do worse than having Applewhite and Johnson as your mentors. Applewhite helped to turn Ward into a stronger passer than he got credit for, and Johnson spent the last three seasons watching over Dak Prescott and Nick Fitzgerald at MSU. Allen still has some work to do to win the job, but assuming he holds off injured senior Kyle Postma, injured sophomore D’Eriq King (injuries were an issue for UH this spring), and walk-on Mason McClendon for the job, he would take over a passing game that has some exciting weapons.

Linell Bonner might have been the best possession receiver in the country last year; the 6’0 senior caught 73 percent of his passes with a 56 percent success rate; granted, he only averaged 11.4 yards per catch, but he is incredibly reliable, and fellow senior Steven Dunbar has had his moments — seven catches for 125 yards against Oklahoma last year, nine for 112 against Navy.

Beyond Bonner and Dunbar, a host of youngsters and former star recruits are lining up for a shot, namely sophomores Courtney Lark (a former four-star guy), Keith Corbin, Terry Mark, and Marquez Stevenson, and incoming freshmen Jeremy Singleton, Tre’Von Bradley, and Devodric Bynum. [Update: UH also added Ellis Jefferson, who played in 38 games for Arizona State.] As good as Bonner and Dunbar are, if this batch could produce a big-play threat or two, the ceiling for this offense gets a lot higher.

Allen was not a blue-chip caliber success at Texas A&M; during his sophomore season in 2015, he completed just 57 percent of his passes with a 137 passer rating. He was certainly solid, but he still has quite a bit to prove. And the improvement of the run game could determine whether he gets to prove it.

It won’t get worse. Catalon, Birden, Car, and Justice all return, as do eight of the nine starters up front. [Update: UH also adds grad transfer interior lineman Deon Mix from Auburn, where he played in six games.] Plus, the Cougars get the services of Colorado transfer Patrick Carr in the backfield, as well; he was the star of the spring game.

There’s reason to be concerned about the offense: it trailed off dramatically last year, and there’s no guarantee that the pieces in the run game have the pure talent to post big averages. But the passing game should at least assure that the offense as a whole doesn’t regress further. We’ll just have to see if it improves. My guess is it will.

Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

Linell Bonner

Defense

Lost amid the disappointment of the offense and the late-season losses was the fact that the Cougars’ defense was really, really good.

Improvement wasn’t a given considering the Cougars had to replace four of their top five tacklers in the secondary (and that turnover in the secondary is a harbinger of regression). But a mix of veterans (senior corners Howard Wilson and Brandon Wilson, junior safeties Khalil Williams and Terrell Williams) and exciting youngsters (sophomores Garrett Davis and Jeremy Winchester, freshmen Collin Wilder and Javian Smith) produced an acceptable recipe in the back. Houston didn’t pick off nearly as many passes — hello, turnovers luck — but did produce a Passing S&P+ ranking of 34th.

Of course, it didn’t hurt that the run defense was absolutely dynamite. That was nearly a given. Houston ranked 29th in Rushing S&P+ in 2015, returned five of six linemen and five of six linebackers, and added maybe the best freshman in the country to the mix.

Ed Oliver more than lived up to his blue-chip billing out of the gates. Not only was he third in the country with 22.5 tackles for loss — as a damn freshman — but he was also fourth on the team in tackles. He made more stops than all but one defensive back on the team. That’s crazy. That’s a combination of play-making and sideline-to-sideline motor that you almost never see.

Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

Ed Oliver

Applewhite tasked Mark D’Onofrio with succeeding the immensely successful Todd Orlando (who was also a candidate for the head coaching gig) as defensive coordinator. From 2006-15, D’Onofrio served as Al Golden’s defensive coordinator at Temple and Miami; he only had one excellent defense (his 2014 Miami unit was 25th in Def. S&P+), but each of his last nine defenses ranked at least 70th. It’s hard to know about upside, but he should be a solid caretaker if nothing else.

Of course, Oliver might be the best defender he’s coached, and Oliver’s got a lot of help. Houston returns five of seven linemen and four of six linebackers. Granted, the four departures — ends Cameron Malveaux and B.J. Singleton, linebackers Steven Taylor and Tyus Bowser — were all strong. Taylor and Bowser combined for 24 tackles for loss.

Still, there’s experience here, and in star freshmen Bryan Jones (end) and Arnaud Willis-Dalton (linebacker), among others, Houston has plenty of young upside up front. UH might find it difficult to replicate last year’s No. 5 Rushing S&P+ ranking, but the run defense should again be as good as any in the AAC. [Update: Houston’s DL also added former seven-game Miami starter Courtel Jenkins and 17-game Texas A&M contributor Reggie Chevis.]

If the run defense doesn’t regress much, Houston’s defense should again be excellent because the pass defense certainly shouldn’t regress. The Wilsons are gone, but that’s it. Davis and Khalil Williams combined for 13.5 tackles for loss and eight breakups in 2016, and Winchester is a burgeoning star. Granted, be it a sophomore like Javian Smith or Ka’Darian Smith or converted receiver Isaiah Johnson, the other cornerback spot will be filled by someone far less experienced than either Wilson. But the upside here is obvious.

I would be shocked if this wasn’t, at worst, a top-40 defense. And with Oliver as center of gravity, a ranking quite a bit higher is almost to be expected.

Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

Khalil Williams (2)

Special Teams

Applewhite has to remodel the offense in Herman’s absence, but he was left some goodies on defense and in special teams. The Cougars ranked 29th in Special Teams S&P+ last year, powered by a No. 12 ranking in kick return success rate and a No. 33 ranking in punt success rate.

Brandon Wilson had a role to play in kick returns, but assuming D’Eriq King isn’t the starting QB, he is a hell of a KR. And as a freshman, Dane Roy’s punts were among the least returnable in the country. That’s a good starting point, though Houston does have to replace Wilson and place-kicker Ty Cummings.

2017 outlook

2017 Schedule & Projection Factors

Date Opponent Proj. S&P+ Rk Proj. Margin Win Probability 2-Sep at UTSA 91 9.0 70% 9-Sep at Arizona 68 0.2 50% 16-Sep Rice 120 21.1 89% 23-Sep Texas Tech 66 4.6 60% 30-Sep at Temple 67 0.1 50% 7-Oct SMU 81 11.8 75% 14-Oct at Tulsa 77 4.4 60% 19-Oct Memphis 61 3.9 59% 28-Oct East Carolina 100 16.1 82% 4-Nov at South Florida 56 -1.6 46% 18-Nov at Tulane 94 10.0 72% 24-Nov Navy 71 7.9 68%

Projected S&P+ Rk 49 Proj. Off. / Def. Rk 73 / 31 Projected wins 7.8 Five-Year S&P+ Rk 2.3 (57) 2- and 5-Year Recruiting Rk 56 / 70 2016 TO Margin / Adj. TO Margin* -7 / 1.7 2016 TO Luck/Game -3.3 Returning Production (Off. / Def.) 55% (51%, 58%) 2016 Second-order wins (difference) 8.8 (0.2)

I’m going on faith that when Houston’s president says the school could fire a coach for going 8-4, the Cougars aren’t actually going to fire a coach for going 8-4. I’m all for aggressiveness and confidence, but damn.

Among other things, Tom Herman himself might have struggled to do better than 8-4 or 9-3 this coming year. Projected 49th in S&P+, the Cougars are given a 46 percent or better chance in every game on the schedule, but six are tossups between 46 and 60 percent and eight are projected with a single-digit margin.

In other words, a little bit of improvement or regression will go a long, long way. If Allen and the redesigned offense click (certainly a realistic possibility) and the defense maintains a top 30 level (ditto), this is a 10- or 11-win team.

Meanwhile, if the run game is still stagnant, Allen is throwing on passing downs a lot (and without Ward’s wheels to get him out of trouble), and loss of play-makers at linebacker or cornerback is more costly than I’m guessing — all of this is also at least semi-realistic — then you’re looking at something closer to 7-5.

Applewhite enters a situation under immediate pressure to overachieve, but really, I guess that’s probably just the way he likes it.

Team preview stats

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