#(this next tag is me being silly)
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the opening to my dissertation (it is meant to count for 90% of my grade)
#getting a little silly wiv it#original writing#writeblr#the oresteia#mythology#notnow#she writes#<- tags mainly for my reference#the dissertation is structured in two acts: elektra/pylades' wedding night and orestes/hermione's. the order is interchangeable#im. having a good time with her but shes also meant to be 12k words and due next thursday so you know.#the silliness is being strained out of me with associated sweat and tears
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Psst. She's got something to show you!! Check it, Tiny Falin!
#woah tiny falin be upon ye#<- making that version next when im not half tired#everyone please reblog this with the tag 'op go to sleep' ive literally been avoiding taking a nap this whole time i gotta go eep#yes this is your sign to draw small chimera falin with small marcille theyre a duo do not separate and please tag me if you draw them yes#also i wasnt seeing enough academy days farcille so im here to provide for y'all goddamn#this single handedly spawned the idea of falin having always been a chimera hybrid but just being small until she properly grew up#so she's a stubby lil baby w t rex arms for front legs until they grow stronger#dont ask why two thirds of these arent colored i grew inspo in the last half shush#also yes please do repost the tiny falin pic just dont crop out the watermark so folks can come back you have my permission to repost it#/gen#i wanna see her stupid baby face everywhere#ur not telling me chimeras wouldnt make the most pathetic mewling noises thinking they sound super tough as chicks#bro is NAWT scary or intimidating (yet)#teen chimera falin would be just every teenaged girls gay nightmare. tall smooth and a hot monster chick#might draw her later >> and her silly growing t rex arms#night night y'all.#farcille#dungeon meshi#marcille dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#marcille dunmeshi#falin dungeon meshi#marcille donato#dunmeshi falin#dunmeshi fanart#faligon#chimera falin#falin x marcille#falin chimera
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The gang’s all here!! They’re on the case!! And there’s no ghost that they wouldn’t chase!!!!!
@mysticalcats’s Foxglove, @toki-toro’s Chaumet, @emimii’s Clownaire, and my own Bluebelle :)
#this was indeed the project I was working on lmao#WHY DID THIS TAKE 17 BILLION YEARSSSSSS#I actually rly like how the actual paint turned out#ESPECIALLY FOR FOXGLOVE SQUEEEEE#he looks so cute….and I got all the colors mixed for Chaumet#watercolor oc painting: 1#back paint neck pain headache pain: 0#no but sketching this took such! a long! time!#I just straight up could not get foxglove and bluebelle right it was maddening#but I persisted and I beat the odds‼️‼️ Yipee‼️‼️#I love all of these guys so so so much I’ll prolly never stop thinking about them#please never stop talking about your ocs ever#and I am working on being coherent about Bluebelle as we speak!!!!#I got an idea and now I’m trying to make my brain not be mean about it#literally just chanting to myself ‘YOU! CAN MAKE! IT AS WEIRD!! AS! YOU WANT!!!’#shoutout to my fairytales throughout that ages book for inspiring me#100 points and a drawing of your choice if you can figure out the story Bluebelle’s backstory is based on lmao#ANYHOW#I just be rambling in these tags I perhaps need to calm down lol#I LOVE YALLS OCS FOREVER AND EVER!!!!#clownaire was literally perfect from the start I NAILED his pose first try and then he was very supportive the rest of the way through#live laugh love 🫶🫶🫶💐💐💐🩰🩰🩰#next up: Jemima painting!! with two special guests!!!#oh shit those are a lot of tags uhhhh I’m done now i promise 🫶🫶#cats the musical#cats musical#cats oc#jellicle oc#sorah’s silly scribbles#(also the text right under the drawing are a Scooby doo song LMAO it’s called Dig It Scooby Doo it’s insanely catchy)
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we lost the game but i won in looking cracked in front of strangers so did we (i) really lose (yes)
#overwatch#overwatch 2#hanzo#potgs#im tagging my potgs now because im a loser and the potgs ill share will prob have some stupid silly story with them#also this was just kinda sicko ... i dont have friends so im sharing my ow highlights with tumblr ...#maybe ill actually start switching up my highlight intros then if im gonna start sharing potgs ... gotta mix it up and all ...#this is a lie the only thing that will change is the skin i use i love the cupids kiss highlight intro too much. so silly ..#>says he barely uses the cupid skin >is using cupid skin#LISTEN I ACKNOWLEDGED HOW LITTLE I USED IT also i didnt get the drake master skin and i like being thematical with my skins for maps ..#cupid's gonna have to be our next best bet for. medieval germany JVLAERKJVKLJ#I DIDNT KNOW DRAKE MASTER WAS A SKIN IT CAME OUT WHEN I WAS ON HIATUS AND ITS SO COOL IM MAD#not like id be able to get it anyway probably but still ... its the principal ..#anyway Disgusting idk what demon comes over me durin shit like this im not this consistent#AT THE START OF THE MATCH TOO I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW WE LOST THE FIRST POINT AFTER THIS#LIKE WE DIDN'T EVEN CAP- THE TEAM WAS WIPED AFTER THIS I GOT THAT KIRIKO AND SOLIDER A LIL AFTER THSI#i exhausted all of my bullshitting energy into this clip and fumbled the rest i fear#i still appreciate our zen saying i was insane tho ... ty king ...
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Ava motioned towards the two women in the other room with her head.
"Don't you think…?"
Sister Beatrice furrowed her brow.
"What?"
The halo bearer repeated the movement, exaggerating it.
"Don't you think…?"
"... Doctor Salvius? And Mother Superion? Ava! We take vows, you know."
"I know, I know," Ava replied, deflating somewhat. "I'm just saying. I mean, look at them. You can't in honesty say you don't think they'd… You know. Match."
Sister Camila walked past them giddily.
"I don't think," she said, "I know."
Ava and Beatrice turned to her, the former slack-jawed but exultant.
"Camila, spill the beans!"
#warrior nun#warrior nun drabble#doctor superion#i mean it is. from an angle. it's there!#narratives and similar#ava silva#sister beatrice#sister camila#it's weird tagging jillian and suzanne since they don't show up despite it being about them so i won't#also i am so sorry about how silly this is. next one is better i promise#and there i'm giving you something now send me good vibes that the oneshot will get finished soon lol
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two more artfight attacks i finished today! trying not to stress myself out too much on finishing all of the attacks i wanna do, but like... there's so many i wanna do.....
left: briar, my friend golden's bg3 oc (not on tumblr afaik) ; right: my friend @yewphoric's elder scrolls oc jenais, the stinky necromancer boy himself.
i've been eager to draw these two for a while, and i'm glad i finally did! :3
art taglist (fill out this form to be added): @skitzo-kero @anexor @paradoxspir1t @vacantgodling @void-botanist
@chaieyestea @invaderskoodge @albatris @corvus-rose @moonflowerrss
@yourlocal-lichen @angsty-prompt-hole @drawnecromancy
#Multi's Artwork#artfight#artfight 2024#these two were SO FUN TO DRAW#got like... 8 more attacks lined up to hopefully finish by the end of the month#i am nothing if not deeply ambitious it seems#(this next tag is me being silly)#drawing a lot of skinny characters..... gotta draw some fat people to keep myself sane#speaking of. i finished a sketch i really like today as well#but i'm not sharing it rn#spoilers y'know?#tumblr user yewphoric
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ya'll please i haven't even finished the 1k requests and we're already nearing 2k.
#narus' corner#life update in the tags that no one asked for because if ya'll know me i say stuff here more than on the actual post for some reason.#im burned out from life - and it's directly affecting the speed i can churn out stuff even with my eepy jing yuan being there in front of m#T__T at least he's being eepy at E4#work environment has very much to say to that i've been overworked already LMFAOOO#anyway it gonna be a bit to bounce back but with that said#ion think imma do any event for 2k even though IM HUGELY GRATEFUL TO YA'LL#WE'VE ALMOST GATHERED 2K JING YUAN BELIEVERS. IM SORRY THIS SILLY PERSON CAN'T DO MUCH MORE FOR U IN HER CURRENT STATE#but i shall prosper and get over this bump in life like i actually do.#after i get myself diagnosed by a professional-#so yeah. if i update within the next few months please be surprised cause i would be very surprised myself.
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i’m coming for another one of yall this mood board monday. this one is for you and me on the rock by @the-sun-and-the-sea
#now you’re just gonna have to hear me out on this#this fic had a lot of soft and romantic imagery but since im relying on the internet i picked a lot of pics based on vibes#for example for the first pic (top left corner) there’s obviously not an aesthetic for making wedding nets so i went w the wedding dance#so i could ref the convo they had about marriage#then the next pic is a ref to their lil dinner date… there’s no dinner (just flowers) cos i couldn’t fit it in all in the frame 😔#the next pic is also vibe based it’s just to capture how silly they get#cos there’s a scene where finnick puts on a capitol accent and annie is like whatever! (in a silly way)#next pic is to 1) emulate the sunset vibes 2) a nod to them running AROUND when finnicks prep team goes to 4#ik this pic is obviously not that sorta frantic vibe at all but remember it was me and pinterest against the world#next pic is a reference to annie being comfty and cozy w finnick and being in his bed reading her books#next pic: sunset imagery + them cuddling. next pic: reference to annie’s frizz. next pic: canon odesta wedding cos of the very last scene#next pic: ok i just think this one emulates odesta’s vibe in this story and other stories by miss mdr#like the way they’re wrapped around each other and looking at the ocean#next pic: all the sea glass jewelry options were UGLY so i just had to rely on beachy jewelry imagery to ref the lovers day scene. sorryy#next pic: annies stuff in finnicks room <3 like her books and mirror and stuff#ok i’m done going ham in the tags but again i needed to explain myself since SO many of these were just based on a vibe of a vibe#mood board monday#odesta#annie cresta
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Highlights from reading Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1984) Issue #41, where Leonardo is dreaming of a world where everybody is a turtle
Under read more cuz I'm not making sense
Him getting called Nardo by this dude (and the teacher later but I did not screenshot that
The fact that he wears a crop top for some reason (?)
Didn't feel like taking two screenshots so,
1. The fact he wants someone to think he's cool and 2. The fact that he wants to carry some girl's shoes(???)
#in general the fact he imagines he's cool is funny to me#this is a non canon issue btws#this is so silly#messy post but that's cuz im writing this right after waking up from a nap#and im not done with the issue I think everyone is getting a dream might make a next part uhhhh#tmnt#comic panels#tmnt mirage#tmnt leonardo#<-tagging for my own nefarious purposes (being able to find this later once im awake)
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reddit is easy pickings I know I know I know but I was genuinely shocked to see how easy it was to immediately find something that made me uncomfortable/slightly more peeved at the state of it all
the post--a fair and common sentiment for lesbians to experience. men are dumbasses and say shit like this all the time. frustrating for sure:
so, if you were someone who has any sense of respect or basic decency on respecting lesbians (+women in general tbh) when they speak, and you were perhaps a trans woman who might not really understand the truly frustrating experience of your sexuality being belittled and disrespected like this, wouldn't you simply let this one post go and not leave a comment as it is not something you have meaningfully experienced and thus don't need to add commentary?
well:
anyway good reminder that I should frankly never use reddit ever again sigh
bonus good comment that is weirdly more applicable than maybe the user intended:
anyway that's all from me thanks for indulging my public pettiness once more o7
#apologies for the low effort posting lately school + work is kicking my ass#mostly work my major is easy lmao that's what art school gets you#work is very silly I spent 72 almost consecutive hours doing the job of my superior who sort of ghosted the entire team#which meant extended time with the editor-in-chief (my boss) (polyamorous transfemme) and wow amabs are truly not very emotionally sensitiv#I am getting their out of pocket overtime pay though so uhhh I suppose it's a win in some regards#anyway enough about me (I say on the blog I made to talk about me)#trying to decide how much I can publicly let myself vent about my life without being too revealing lmao#let's just say I work with people I can generously describe as self-identified queer people on twitter who are too into yaoi and fandom#it's a great place to be super lonely and essentially crypto gender critical lol haha I think I need real friends#...okay I do have friends but there's a whole load of strange bullshit happening there#possibly involving what is basically a het love triangle that I just get to witness for the next three years I guess???#dropping foreshadowed breadcrumbs for possible future blogposts in the tags for a pretty standard gc post lol sorry if I trojan horsed you#radical feminism#gender critical#myo is rambling.#gender ideology
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an um. snippet. from me. for the first time since. july :-)
#from a fic you likely will not see for at least. two months. but still <3#reallt brave of me to snippet considering ive still got no plan from one scene to the next and have only written um. four scenes but. well#if you all bear witness to evidence of the wips existence then maybe it will help me commit to finishing it. :-)#this is also. this snippet is from the very first scene and it is not my favourite but the snippet i WANTED to share is simply too long so.#sorry about that. :-/ also im just talking now you don’t need to read these tags but it is so lovely being in remus’ head now im so used to#it it used to be so unnerving…but i live here now i love it…im also in a bit of a#loving sirius era atm so actually im enjoying writing about how pretty he is. (<- me after being visisted by three spirits on Christmas Eve)#special shout-out to hope lupin. kicking things off immediately with her funeral she is so killable and i really appreciate it.#tsahonip feels like a silly acronym so i think we’re sticking to shortening it to.#tsah#snippet#my fic#r/s#anyway. if it goes the way i want it to the whole fic is very. london and dreary flats and bars and mugs of tea and resentment + melancholy#you know. because ive never done that before have i. also the discography of the smiths so prepare for that on the playlist soz :-(
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Oh well thanks mom that totally made my mood better. /sarc
#i know i started this school shit back in august and im only on lesson 2 for most of my shit. i know im going to fail everything next year.#you dont have to bring it up every single fucking day. i know im not doing anything about it. but i want you to know that it makes me spira#every time i open the laptop. it feels like im barely even alive sometimes#the internet is my only safe space where i can talk about everything going on. i cant believe i dont feel safe to talk about everything#ive self diagnosed myself with to my own parents. i cant keep fucking doing this anymore i just want to feel normal#not so silly sillytalking#tw vent#vent#sorry for the rant in the tags#i just dont feel too well about stuff right now. sorry#edit: it probably sounds like im being over dramatic. whoops.
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thought of some really cool resolutions to the character arcs in sunbringer's song but i have to??? fucking???? write the rest of the arcs for those endings to make sense??? homophobia is real
#multi makes text posts#/j to that last part btw this is me being silly#bg3: sunbringer's song#i forgor what my tag was :(#but anyway.#bg3 spoilers (no context) in the next tag#the writers did wyll and gale fucking dirty with how their plots play out and it's up to me to fix them#time for some emotional catharsis and closure :)#also remember how i was thinking of making sunbringer's song an original wip? i still might do that#but i'm also keeping the fanfic version#i WILL have my cake and eat it too :)#bg3
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one of my favorite taylor songs to listen to the first time was happiness because i have a visceral memory of hearing the line “i hope she’ll be a beautiful fool / who takes my spot next to you” and literally gasping out loud before hearing that the next line was basically taylor saying “oh no i take that back sorry” and letting out a little relieved breath and giggling like oh she gets me!
#we can have a little resentment and bitterness and ill wishes as a treat of course#but that line is just so harsh it really takes you aback not even just at first but every single time i hear it it’s so cutting#and i will never forget first hearing it and being shocked and then taylor immediately taking it back. i thought it was silly and real and#poignant and honest and incredible#we all say things irrationally when we’re mad or think things or do things even when we’re aware that it’s irrational in the moment#even when you take it back right away and i loved that she put that into a song#taylor swift#mine#i need everyone to know that this originally had a typo#and said ‘who takes me spot next to you’#pirate! taylor#shrek! taylor#i hope those aren’t existing tags
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Requestober 2023 Sketches
The playlist has returned for this year! There will be a few in between, but it should be updating at least once a week on either Wednesday or Friday or both - keep an eye out for your req(s)!
Day 4 got some subtle Black Eye, they are a great pair ♪ You can see I couldn’t fully decide on posing - this will be a theme lol - maybe Sylvia loafing and poking her nose up at Peepers? Or just man-handling him into a snuggle lol, I almost went with that one! But I still ended up going with the first sketch after all, his half-squinted eye was too cute to pass up!
Day 6′s first sketch was also a first-try-correct but lemme try something else lol, I’m glad I went with this one though! Friend looks very fluffy, as does Ghostbur <3 Thank goodness for digital cleaning, Phil’s arm completely confounded me traditionally lol, same with the wings actually
The alt is still cute tho, and sad :’) Ghostbur would still consider Phil his dad! And yes he’s not exactly Will, Phil’s kid ahh </3 And yet he still gets to hug him!! The piece of him that remembers him! It hurts ♥
Day 10 was a great excuse to draw blood lol, I can’t not ♪ I ran out of room since this was the last sketch of the page so while I fully intended for the bloody knife to be continuous with the rest of him, I had to puzzle-piece it all together haha ♫ He’s so scribbly lol
Day 15 was so fun!! Ahhh!! As I mentioned in the tags, I got the notification for this one while I was offline and dozing but even in that state of mind, this was the image that immediately bloomed in my head! I am so pleased I got to make it exactly as intended haha ♪ They’re so cute <3 And it’s always fun to draw Mitsu reacting like “O//o//O” even just in emoji form lol
Day 16′s was fun and silly - I only ended up with the one sketch, it’s been too long since I’ve drawn a Core! It hasn’t been all that long since I’ve watched a Meet the Cores but it has been long while since I’ve picked up Portal 2 or Mel, it’s too bad ‘cause they’re both so cute haha. But I mean, all this Portal stuff has inspired me to get back to playing so hmmm :3c
Day 17 had those two options but for me it wasn’t even a question lol - I do of course love RGB but I’ve made a habit of drawing him! And I did get to draw him later as well, so I got all the character diversity I could ask for haha. I’m so sad that I missed out on the “tk” SFX in the final version, I made it and then just forgot to turn the layer back on before exporting lol, just hear it in your head if you would ♪
Day 18, more blood! Moreeee! Thank you for all the Yanderapy attention this year ahhh, it’s so gratifying to know these boys are being enjoyed ♥ I love them too! And it was doubly fun to imagine them playing into their baser urges, yandere-wise haha ♪ What’s the fun of a yandere if they can’t have a little blood, as a treat? Hehe ♫ Mitsuru’s swirly eyes are one of my favourite yandere features of his, drawing it in full swing was really fun :D
Day 19, a bit of Ranboo ♥ It’s been long enough that I’d forgotten how much I enjoy Ranboo! c!Ranboo as well as The Guy haha, they’ve gotten more chaotic lately it seems, good for them. He’s also still quite fun to draw, that’s just good character design for you ♪ A cute little squished face, wanting to go out and play. You can kinda tell from the flower boxes that even traditionally I wasn’t all that detail-oriented for this one lol
Day 20 got a lot of concept art! Making new outfits will do that lol, started with just deciding what their sweets theme would be - Mitsuru was so obviously ube and buttercream that it hurts lol, and you can see there was a bit more deliberation with Ishida. Salted lemon, and he was supposed to keep the lattice motif - we’ll get there :P
Outfit designing! Ishida’s was a OHKO - you can’t see it in the final version since he’s angled away but his buttons are salt stones! And he’s also got asymmetrical salt “freckles” around his left eye :) Mitsu’s was a little over-complicated so he needed a second pass
But only a second pass! A chunky sweater with the swirls was absolutely the correct choice, and then since zippers don’t exist in the JD universe (lol) he gets buttons!
Finally they got their final version! You can see from the sliced version that originally they were meant to have three sections apiece for both limbs, buuut that ended up being overly visually busy, so I gave them two for their arms and three for their legs :) All the other posing and everything was pretty much perfect though! :D
This is the most correct version of their clothes for their cut-up frame; I was in a bit of a rush for the gif version so a few elements are missing, like Ishida’s aforementioned lattice design element :’D Just try to not look too hard at the final version for these details specifically lol ♪ Oh the foibles of trying to be speedy!
Technically not Requestober but I was inspired by my own idea of them switch-stitching their limbs back together lol - lemon ube?? I guess that might work...
Day 21 got a concept sketch before starting - Luci’s glares are very cute hehe ♪ I was sure I could push it cuter tho >:3c
And I was right! I called this an alt but honestly this was the correct choice from the beginning lol ♪ Long ears are so fun to pose, extra expressions! I had a bit of trouble with his arms, but I think that’s just a me-not-knowing-how-to-draw-arms-lately thing lol
Day 22 was also very close to the end of the page so I was a bit cramped! Their faces are definitely the most important element - especially considering RGeeBs has one here! - so I wanted to give them a bit of extra attention. I really like his sharp nose hehe ♪ And Hero’s hand doing the classic cartoony pinky-up with her white gloves ugh it’s so cute <3
They did get a very tiny fullbody sketch tho haha ♪ For how it turned out here, I’m doubly happy with RGB’s pose in the final! Especially his legs :D
Speaking of tiny, day 24 was super tiny!! I always draw the stick figures tiny tho haha, they’re such cute little pops of colour on my page :) I’m glad as well that I could make all the colours clean digitally - the colours got a bit mixed traditionally lol
Fun fact: Day 25 didn’t get a traditional sketch! It’d been too long since I’d drawn GLaDOS so I felt a little better to just have the references right there in the same canvas lol. My initial digital sketches are always a bit chaotic, lots of very energetic lines! It does make me all the more determined to make her design readable in my style >:3c
I started forgetting to label what day they were around day 26 haha, but I started with them side-by-side - I wanted them to show off their outfits a bit more but it felt a little stiff :P Obviously Sinister would be uncomfortable in heavier clothes tho, so I went with that thought ♪ Poor Stanley haha
The alt ended up taking it since interacting is way more fun than not! I haven’t drawn Stanley using sign language in a hot minute which is too bad! It’s very fun to do! He’s not going to listen to you Stanley, no matter what you do
Day 28 gave me a bunch of thoughts but since it was fairly open-ended, I wasn’t sure where to take it at first! Angst just has so many possible roads! Initially, featured here, I considered them getting caught - them in a police light was a very cool concept for my lighting-focused brain this season haha - but it still wasn’t quite right. Maybe because Ishida actually looks stressed, noo D:
The plot just kinda picked up from there, the idea of Ishida killing Mitsuru since they were caught, and then what I eventually ended up with - all while trying to fight against limited space and a not-the-best art day, just gotta keep powering through despite the obstacles!
But I did finally land on the idea I wanted the most :) Originally this one was going to have two panels but I couldn’t make it look right, switching back and forth between them :P I’m glad I finally got to it in the end! It was a struggle haha
Day 29 got Fellplates!Gaster! Heck yeah! :D It’s been a while since I’ve drawn him so I had to get back into the swing of it lol - I actually booted him on “April 1st” by changing my clock and then my internet refused to connect to certain sites?? What the heck is that about. Well either way, I got him! He is cute haha
I really was tempted to give him something to do with other Fellplates members, but the lack of references confounded me! Ah! You can probably tell which one was meant to be Alphys huh lol ♪ Him and his sense of loyalty ah 💔 Well, self-destruction is a common ley line for him huh haha
And then what I finally ended up with ♪ He has a slightly more open expression here, but I do like the somewhat sinister edge the final version ended up with :3c The backlighting begged for it!! And everyone needs cool backlighting haha
Day 30′s TSP/Portal crossover!! It’s such a classic idea, I am actually honestly surprised that this is my first foray into it - I’ve thought about it forever! I’ve drawn them adjacently! But this is my first time actually drawing them interacting?? How?? Well I’m glad I have now haha, they’re so- they’re just so them, y’know? Lol
Y’get a bonus because the idea of Stanley and Chell just kinda vibing in a test chamber and Stanley reacting - which you can see the barest of unfinished sketch there on the right lol - to having his Bucket taken from him, it was too good not to haha. Chell is indifferent lol
Day 31, last day! I actually drew this the night beforehand, very quickly thus the scribbliness haha. Sometimes that’s all you need, just to get the image out! You can see with the SFX, despite being noiseless in the final version, I was thinking of the static right away :) I’m quite happy with how it all turned out hehe <3
That’s all the general sketches from this year! A good solid mix of things! Very fun :D
#Doodles#Requestober#Blood#The usual tag roundup except it's all in one tag lol - Wander Over Yonder - DSMP - lots of Yanderapy thank you <3 - several of Portal -#A few TPoH - technically some Just Desserts - Animation vs. - The Stanley Parable - and Undertale! Specifically Fellplates haha#A very fun lineup! A well-mixed bag of enjoy :D#There's also a couple digital additions here hehe ♪ It's unusual but needed this year!#I'm not usually one to go back in and edit something after the fact (noticeably - I did actually do that at least once last year lol)#But with this one ahh I was silly on colouring :P I was too hasty!#That said I do still - for the most part - believe in setting down and doing better next time haha ♪#This is more for my own sake in the future in case I come back and look at it and be like ''Ah this version is correct'' but it's not! Haha#As for the rest it's all the usual :D#I have to say thank you again because that's how big I feel it haha - thank you for all the love towards my Yanderapy boys!!#It makes me very happy to see them being enjoyed :D I love them so I'm happy happy that they're getting love from others too! <3#I got to draw a lot of favourites this year :) I always love when that happens!#And y'all inspired me to get back into Portal hehe ♪ Thank you! It's been fun replaying it so far :D#In fact I think I'm gonna go try and beat it today hehe ♫ I think I've earned it haha
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really wish there was a tag that separated “I’m having Big Angry and/or Angsty Opinions about Star Wars” from “I’m goofing off with Star Wars I’m playing in the sandbox none of this is real so yes I will make my blorbo and this random glub shitto go on an adventure that makes no logical sense” posts because there’s too much of the former and not enough of the latter for my current mental state
#starlight personal#the good news is that I finally have another ketamine appt scheduled and it’s sooner than I thought they’d have an opening#the bad news is that the appointment is not tomorrow and we’re kinda at the end of my mental-emotional rope#now kids this is what we call: an inherent flaw in my treatment plan that cannot be removed#because pretty much in an ideal world I’d have ketamine appointments every 6 weeks but 1) expensive and probs can’t afford that#2) they don’t have enough availability for that to be realistic 3) can’t take off of work THAT frequently without consequences#4) I would probably start to doubt reality if I was tripping that frequently 5) I don’t think docs would allow it#treatment resistant depression and anxiety my beloathed if we could just chill that’d be great#treatment resistant PMDD my other beloathed someday I will do my damnedest to cut you out of my body#idk not to be too selfpitying on main but god it fucking sucks that I appear to be doomed to another cycle based mood thing#PMDD means I get two good weeks two bad weeks#ketamine being the only effective treatment for whatever my brain’s got going on means two good months followed by x bad months#until my next appointment#which like! two good months is better than no good months I am grateful that something helps#I just wish it was a more convenient help and it could be applied more consistently than my psych office provides#also wish I didn’t have to call them 3 times to get it scheduled but it is what it is#also also wish that I had fewer of the physical side effects of my anxiety and wouldn’t wake up puking the min things are rough#this is all to say: I want silly SW headcanons and droid headcanons and silly fic ideas and not Everyone is Always Suffering#but I’m also too lazy (I.e brain cannot make decisions rn) to search for new tags that may give me more silly#which means time to browse my bookmarks for good good comfort fics I have saved I suppose#(this is lowkey why i want to physically fight everyone i know who’s like ‘yeah meds would help but idk :/‘ like!!!!!!!!#bro it’s a privilege to have access to meds and it’s a privilege to have a body that doesn’t turn on you the min you take one!!!!#just try 10mg of zoloft I would kill for 10mg of zoloft to not make me entirely incapable of functioning!!!)#I don’t mean that - you have a right to take or not take medication and everyone’s reasons may be their own#I just had my body and have some rough feelings around treating my issues being so expensive and inconvenient#and then feeling guilty b/c I know I’m lucky that I can afford it and can take off of work for it when I need to#like I am pretty lucky to have something that works and to have a care team that helped me get here#so I don’t wanna be ungrateful or unappreciative of my own luck in this and the work that went into getting here#I’d just also like it if I could change the circumstances slightly#make treatment on the weekends an option - get my psych office to have more than 2 trip sitters so scheduling isn’t so bad
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