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#(this is like 90% of my tags on this blog lol)
isuggestforcefem · 1 month
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You reminded me of this
A true visionary…
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deoidesign · 2 months
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quick traditional piece for fun ^^
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maironsbigboobs · 1 year
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re: elf servants
I think generally there are servants in royal/noble households simply for practical reasons and they generally fall into 2 categories: specialised servants (think, stewards and messengers and scribes, masters of horses or kennels, that kind of thing) and servants who help with the upkeep of the household (cleaning, repairs, cooking and also the apprentices and assistants of specialised servants)
specialised servants are probably quite prestigious roles and fields of industry in their own right, and they are considered full members of a household, and probably are closely linked to the person they serve - it's as much a political and social statement to be Finwe's chief scribe as it is an economic one
but the second category are more associated with the house than the family living in it - for example, Finwe's palace in Tirion would function both as a home and a diplomatic and administrative centre, it would be impossible for him to rule and keep up with chores himself. But Fingolfin's personal home would probably not have any full-time servants - when there more people than usual to feed or house then professionals might be hired, but for the most part I imagine the day to day is done by the family (made possible by the fact elves sleep and eat less than humans)
IRL domestic service (at least in the 18th century) often functioned as a kind of prep stage for adult life (for women in particular, but gender is probably not as big a factor for elves) and I could definitely see this in Valinor - domestic servants being 80% elves between 50-100 who haven't chosen an apprenticeship or similar in another field who are earning extra money to set up their own households, getting experience outside of the family, meeting others in their own ae cohort, learning independence etc. It's a job that comes with the offer of room and board + the wages a king/prince/lord can provide. Not glamorous, but not terrible.
The other 20% is made up of professional servants - experienced elves who are genuinely like the work and are contracted workers as much as a builder or gardener might be. Some of them might be independent and others part of businesses set up by other elves who are really into cooking/cleaning etc.
In Beleriand the situation (for the exiles at least) is probably very different, though I think there would be attempts to adapt the system - but there aren't as many households that need servants and there aren't as many young elves.
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shafran-saffron · 5 days
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Hey langblr check out this mythical pull I got the other day:
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That's a russian to burmese textbook, I've been searching for something like that for MONTHS(I've even found a scan of the first few pages of that exact book online tho), but then I found out that the site of the biggest bookstore in Moscow (and probably the whole of Russia by extension) had LITERALLY ONLY 1 COPY so I went there and bought it!! It was pretty cheap too (like 15$)!!!
The wildest part is that it's from 1971 and was published by the ministry of foreign affairs of the Soviet Union!! There are people out who think their textbooks are too old because they're from early 2000s and I got this relic.
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starlit-roses-ships · 4 months
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made a new queue tag since I wanted a different one than the one I use on my main: lovin' queue
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I'm convinced people who leave their blog blank are people who just go through writer's masterlists and don't actually follow or view the rest of the blog, so they don't even see posts begging them to not be blank or explaining why.
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putergenius · 1 year
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wild how many “popular” posts I see in which the op is a whole ass terf
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muffindaydream · 1 year
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old 2019-2021 arts focused on my OCs Grayson and Ophelia
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Always interesting when a post of mine breaches the bounds of my mutuals-in-law bc suddenly all kinds of things crop up in the notes. Gotten a few people commenting on my last fic that they had no idea what it was but liked it which is both flattering and a little confusing. I assumed people check the op's tags if they aren't sure of fandom but maybe that isn't widespread?
I've also started to get a couple tradwives which. Uh. Besties you Did Not read the same fic I wrote in which I explicitly say Luthien is able to and considers killing Beren?? And I admit that it wasn't explicit about my eldritch peredhil agenda but. Like. Come on girl. It was a fic about deciding to love someone like a monster while you learn to see them as what they are because they see you as what you are. that's not good Wholesome Traditional Family Values. Did it come across that way?? Now I'm low-key anxious lol
Always interesting (derogatory) to be reminded of the fandom outside my lovely group of queers in my phone. Always gives me a weird flash of feeling. Anyway Beren and Luthien are queer and in love and do not follow stupid tradwife/tradmasc dynamics or whatever send tweet
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acaciapines · 1 year
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//waves at you// Hello hi!! I see you also enjoyed atsv, any favorite bits or any thoughts you want to share?
HI I LITERALLY JUST WATCHED IT FOR THE FIRST TIME LIKE AN HOUR AGO YES YES. sorry for All The Posts btw i dug thru the tag til it slowed my computer and was just miguel x reader stuff so im done for the day <3
ANYWAYS THE MOVE WAS. everything yeah <3 my thoughts are mostly messy and all over the place bc HOLY SHIT bc i was not expecting anything but also by the end i was like yeah yeah YEAH so um. yeah i didnt know it would cliffhanger but also when we saw gwen going to get peter b i was like okay yeah this HAS to be where it ends bc no shit they wrap this all up lol. i also called miles was going to earth 42 before he realized it bc i was like okay his room is NOT the room i remember OH SHIT WAIT ITS THE UNIVERSE THE SPIDER WAS FROM
literally obsessed w that part btw...like miles was never supposed to be spiderman!! but he IS and he WILL BE and when hes talking to his mom and shes talking about how he should go to all these places and not let anybody tell him he doesnt belong there or something to that effect? YEAH. YEAH <3
ummm what else. i really liked miguel he has such an interesting worldview and the canon events and how miles has always BEEN an anomaly and everything regarding the narrative as this thing that Will Happen and Has To Happen and how everyone sort of reacts to that differently was so COOL bc i really love those sorts of stories lol.
speaking of the whole canon event stuff and how miles saved the guy who was supposed to die and everyone was so HAPPY and then yknow gwen is there fully aware miles ruined everything and yeah. yeah. but also like. miles is SPIDERMAN. he could save a person so he DID and what else was he supposed to do....
HOBIE i loved him i loved how he helps miles how he just is like 'yeah i quit' and peaces out i loved how they animated him. i mean the entire animation style slapped obviously lol i also really liked how colors were bleeding into each other in gwens universe!!! THE SCENE WHERE GWEN TALKS TO MILES'S PARENTS IN HIS HOUSE i liked that. i liked a lot of the parent stuff a lot it just Hits. yknow. (<- is literally not a parent)
THE ENDING TOOOO like holy shit i cannot wait to learn more about other miles ok!!! the way the two of them both lost a different person....uncle or dad....GOD. and gwen and the group to help miles and how hobie's dimension travel watches are more messy vs the 'cleaner' look of the official ones....
BASICALLY I LOVED THIS MOVIE ive been looking forward to it all WEEK cannot wait to go see this in theaters like. ten more times lol. did it w into the spiderverse Will Do It Again.
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snekverse · 2 years
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Idk if this will get to the people I want but to the people who have sent art requests via asks:
I'm gonna be 100% honest I have no idea who any of those characters are 😭😭
I will still do my best to do them justice, but it might take me a little more time, so please be patient. I am seeing them, and I do appreciate it, I'm just not familiar with the characters/source material <3
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bdluejay · 2 months
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holy shit just cleared out my drafts and went from like 130 to 15
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sleepsacked · 2 months
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for eternity, c.s.
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+ college student!choi san x college student!afab!reader
+ part: 3/3 (this is all the previous parts put into one revised and extended part, so this CAN be read as a standalone!)
+ word count: 19.9k (english isn’t my only language so this is 90% edited to the best of my ability, i am so sorry for grammatical errors x)
+ tags: 18+, minors/ageless blogs dni! tags are below the cut, it’s a lot lol
+ summary: classic story of experienced reader corrupting innocent boyfriend who managed to end up together after being partnered up for a class project and explore their filthy fantasies together.
+ a/n: guys... i know. it's been two years since i uploaded on this story and trust me when i say there has not been a moment where i did not think about sitting down and uploading on here especially because i still get notifications of people re-blogging and liking the previous parts. with that being said, i revised the previous parts and fixed up my grammar and added bits of more plot to each along with adding what would have been stand-alone third part had i not decided to add all three/three and a half? (1, 2, 2.5, 3) parts together. 
please show this some love if you can, and feel free to leave me any suggestions on who you wanna see me write for next...  thank you all again for your extreme patience x
© sleepsacked 2024 / wanna buy me a coffee? xo
+ tags: semi-story building/plot, light humor, college au, virgin!san, experienced!reader, (tried to make it as gender neutral as possible), rest of atz making occasional appearance but mostly reader x san, clumsy/nerd!san, dry humping, grinding, panty stuffing? cum stuffing? hand.. grinding?, filthy makeouts, usage of pet names (babe/baby/love/sweet boy/pretty girl) a lot, teasing, sniffing..(?), vibrating dildo, body worship, hair pulling, cum play, size kink?kinda?, slight dom!reader x sub!san dynamic, slight serivce top san too lol, maybe dom san for a split second, nipple play, bed??humping??, cunnilingus, masturbation (m), panty usage(m) it'll make sense when you read lol, panty kink, begging, squirting, creampies yay, perv!san, slight corruption kink, imagination/dirty fantasy/sexuality exploration??, dirty talk, tongue play(?), whiny san yay, slight body image insecurity, slight relationship insecurity on san's part, reader is canonically on birth control ok, kinda fluffy, kinda realistic, reader and san have good communication okay, if i forgot anything lmk x
-
You and San had met in your graphics design class at the beginning of your third year of university, which was a class that had nothing to do with your major and was just some random filler class that fit into your schedule for some elective credits. 
Although he had sat on the other side of the room, he had surely made a solid impression on you. When you’d see him stroll into class, you never failed to notice how his broad shoulders expanded as he fixed his bag from falling down his arm, or how his slim waist was accentuated by whatever pair of sweats he decided to wear that day. You also never failed to notice his slight resemblance between a fox and a cat, he was definitely mesmerizing to say the least.
It wasn’t until your professor assigned a partner project; and as if fate couldn’t have been anymore real- the two of you were paired together.
You had noticed that he hadn’t spoken much in class throughout the semester, listening intently to the professor’s lectures (or just really good at pretending), and occasionally getting up to use the bathroom. Because of these facts alone, you concluded that he was more on the reserved side of society and opted out for keeping to himself; finding a quiet peace in marching to the beat of his own drum… far from most of the guys you typically sought after.
You were familiar with guys like those who were in alpha tau zeta or beta sigma tau; the ones who were easy to bring to bed but awful to bring home to your parents.
“Hey, I’m Y/N. Looks like we’re partnered together,” you laughed lightly.
“San,” he lowered his head in a quick nod, gathering his backpack to place on the floor and scooted his chair to the side to welcome you. As you sat down, you stole a quick glance in his direction before situating yourself to move your focus to the professor and the instructions for the project that was about to take course over the next couple of weeks.
-
“Alright, well if there’s no more questions, you guys are free to go for the day. And again, please don’t wait ‘til the last minute to begin your projects. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page. Have a good weekend everyone,” your professor waved. As the class began to file out, you looked back at San, noticing how slow he was at making his way out.
“Are-”
“I-”
“You go ahead first,” you laughed lightly, taking note of San’s avoidance of eye contact and the light blush that began to creep up on his neck. He clutched his backpack tighter before letting out a sigh and finally meeting your eyes.
“I was just going to ask when you wanted to begin working on our project… I’m free on the weekends and I don’t have any classes on Fridays either,” his voice trailed off, his eyes averting to the wall behind you and then back to you again.
Oh, he is going to be the death of you.
You hummed. “Yeah, weekends work for me. No classes on Friday either so we can start tomorrow? You live on campus?”
“Yeah, I live in the Arts Hall,” San nodded.
“Really?” Your eyebrows raised, “I do too. Here. Lemme get your number and I’ll text you later and we can figure out a time to meet up! I have a meeting to go to that starts in 10 and it’s on the other side of campus,” you began to pull out your phone, opening up the keypad and handing it to San.
“Oh? Oh, yeah, okay, just text me whenever. I didn’t mean to hold you up,” he fumbled his words as his hand grazed yours after taking your phone from you. He typed his number and handed your phone back to you, you smiled as you took a quick glance at his contact name.
“san :3”
Cute, you thought to yourself as you gathered your belongings and got up from your seat.
“Don’t worry about it, I’m excited to start working on our project. See you around, San,” you looked at him one last time as you waved goodbye, walking out the door to head to your meeting.
-
You hadn’t texted San yet, but that didn’t mean you hadn’t been thinking about him the whole day. You were curious to know more about him, his shyness, how you never noticed that he lived in the same dorm hall as you. You figured it really wouldn’t be too difficult to talk to San and your curiosity was eating at you more than you liked to admit (it was definitely the raging hunger).
It was already past dinner, your meeting lasting longer then you had expected. You debated taking an Uber to that one pizza restaurant you’d been meaning to try out or to just head back to your dorm and make a bowl of ramen. 
With San still on your mind as you decided on dinner plans, you realized you weren’t someone who was keen on taking the lead or being a more assertive person in a situation like this, so when you found yourself open San’s contact profile in your phone and hitting the call button, you were quite surprised.
As you were about to hang up after the first few rings you heard a faint greeting on the other end of the line.
“Hello? Who is this?”
“Hi, I’m so sorry to be calling you right now… it’s Y/N-”
“Y/N? Oh, hi… hi… are you alright?”
Your chest squeezed at his sudden concern.
“Yes! Yes, I’m okay. Seriously, I’m sorry for calling so suddenly. I just got out of my meeting-”
“This late?”
“I know right… I just got out and I was about to head to this new pizza restaurant downtown and was wondering if you wanted to come with me. I know it’s a bit… weird considering we haven’t spoken to each other before today. But I figured we could talk about our project and set up a schedule to work on it or something? If you’re not busy right now, of course.”
You rambled, suddenly regretting even calling San in the first place and realizing that it was a bit awkward to invite San out to eat on a whim like this considering the circumstances.
 There was a long pause.
“Actually, it’s okay if you can’t! I know it’s super late, and I called outta nowhere-”
“I’m down. Where are you at right now?”
“Passing the library actually...”
“That’s good, I’m on the 4th floor of the tech center, I’ll meet you at those benches in front of the library, yeah?”
“Uh… yeah, yeah, I’ll wait right here.”
San hummed, before hanging up and leaving you with your own thoughts as you walked back towards the benches and sat down, waiting patiently.
-
“How’s the practice for the showcase coming along?” 
“Could be better, we’re still working on the chorus but can’t seem to mix the vocals right and it’s been pissing us off.”
“I’m sure it’s fine, you guys are perfectionists.”
“Well, of course we are Wooyoung! I’m sure you feel the same when you choreograph, right?”
“Okay, Yunho, that’s not even a good example.”
“What? It totally is! You can’t dance if the music is shit, so we have to make sure our music isn’t shit!”
“Mingi, shouldn’t you be worrying about, I don’t know, other shit?”
San laughed to himself, his fingers grazing across the keyboard as he finished typing up some discussion answers for one of his coding classes, doing his best to tune out most of the chatter that was happening amongst his friends.
His phone buzzed against the tabletop, his screen lighting up with an unknown number. His friends stayed enthralled in their conversation, paying him no mind as he answered his phone hastily.
“Hello? Who is this?”
“Hi, I’m so sorry to be calling you right now… it’s Y/N-”
Wooyoung was the first to notice that San was on the phone, not even because he was necessarily trying to pay attention but he was about to ask if San wanted to join the rest of them heading to the cafeteria to grab a quick bite before it closed for the night.
“Hey guys, shh, shh,” Wooyoung whispered as he smacked Yunho’s arm. Yunho and Mingi’s voices died down as their attention fixed on San.
“That’s good, I’m on the 4th floor of the tech center, I’ll meet you at those benches in front of the library, yeah?” San finished with a hum before hanging up the phone, feeling three sets of eyes on him.
“So who was that?” Wooyoung’s lips fell into a coy smile, a tilt to his voice as he felt himself get giddy.
“Hm?”
“Don’t tell me…” Yunho’s hand slapped Wooyoung’s shoulder before giving it a hard grip, staring at San in disbelief. Mingi was the next to chime in, as if he felt the cue to get in on the joke.
“Finally, my man San, you shooting shots?”
San’s eyes closed, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose before letting out a soft sigh.
“It was one of my classmates, Y/N, she’s my partner for this project in my graphics design class. She called asking to grab dinner and talk about what direction we wanna go, nothing crazy,” San began gathering his belongings and stuffing as much as he could in his bag in one go before getting up and slinging his bag over his shoulder.
“Woah, woah, woah, kinda sounds like she’s interested, no?” Yunho wiggled his brows. San immediately shook his in disagreement, feeling the tips of his ears get hot.
“San, I mean this in like, the most loving way possible, but you almost never know when someone is interested in you and… well,” Wooyoung cleared his throat before continuing, “I think it kinda has to do with the fact that… you know… you’re a little bit of a late bloomer.” Wooyoung cupped his hands around his lips as he whispered the last couple of words in San’s direction.
“Alright!” San’s voice cracked, “On that note, I will see you guys tomorrow!”
“Be safe! Use protection!”
“To manhood!”
“Yeah! What they said!”
San continued to make way out of the building, not looking back at his friends as his face continued to heat up. The comments definitely made him nervous, he didn't think you were interested in him… right? You guys barely had a full conversation and only started talking this afternoon in class despite having been together the last month and a half in the same classroom. Was this how dating was like? Was this how people pursued each other? Was it not like best friends falling in love after years of knowing each other? I mean sure, yeah plenty of couples met in different ways, he was pretty familiar with romcoms and-
No! Focus! This is just about class, the project, getting familiar enough to get a good grade and moving forward to the next semester, no time for dating or romance, and certainly no time for sex.
San wasn’t too sure what happened next but suddenly he was lying on his back at the bottom of the stairwell, his bag barely cushioning his fall and hearing a faint yell of his name outside through the glass doors. Faint pattering against the concrete outside could be heard before the glass door swung open.
“San! Oh my god? Are you okay?” You kneeled next to him, awaiting his response.
All San could manage was a groan before he turned over on his side and slowly got up from the ground, reaching for his bag in the process. This definitely couldn’t be more embarrassing- actually, no, knowing him and his luck, it definitely could be more embarrassing in due time.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You sure? What even happened?”
“Um, actually, I don’t know…” his voice trailed off as he dusted off his clothing.
“What?” You laughed.
“Sorry, I mean, I think I was just lost in my head about something and must’ve missed a step.”
“Ah… lost in your head about anything in particular?” You moved to walk towards the door, reaching for the handle and letting San walk through first, his clumsy state a bit unpredictable for properly meeting up with each other.
“Thanks,” San quietly said as he walked through the glass doors and into the crisp, fall scenery that was draped prettily over the campus grounds. The trees began to lose their leaves and the colors that their foliage left painted on the ground was always the prettiest picture that San never got tired of. 
“And no. Just regular thoughts roaming around in there, I guess.” You both continued to stroll down the path that led to the student parking lot, the soft crunch of leaves creating a comforting ambiance.
“Makes sense.” You paused under one of the light posts, the sun setting enough that the lights emitted a soft glow that accentuated all different types of contours on each of your faces.
“I can order the Uber, by the way. I wasn’t sure when you’d head down or what you wanted to do or anything but I can order it, I don’t think it’ll take long to get here,” You began mumbling as you reached for your phone in your sweater.
“Uber? We can just take my truck, no?”
“You have a truck?”
“Nothing fancy, trust me, it's an ‘06 model,” San laughed, wondering why it was so surprising he owned a truck. He motioned for you to follow as he continued the path down to the parking lot, you followed behind. 
“But a truck?”
“What? A guy can’t own a truck?”
“No, it’s not that- I just mean, you don’t really seem like the truck kinda guy.”
San shrugged, “Gets me from place to place, plus she’s still kicking.”
San led the way to his truck that was parked conveniently in front of the entrance of the tech center.
“No way this truck has crank up windows,” You said in disbelief as you hopped in. “I haven’t seen these in like years, like years, San.”
He threw his head back as he laughed, giving you a shrug as you guys drove off with mindless chatter being shared amongst the both of you.
-
And that was how your relationship with San began; working as partners for a project (which you both aced) that soon led to hanging out at every free moment either of you had. Countless spontaneous dates throughout the course of those next few weeks of you inviting him out to eat dinner with you at that pizza joint. It wasn’t very much longer until San had finally asked you to be his romantic partner.
You were made aware of San’s inexperience, both in dating and intimacy, and honestly, it wasn’t something that was entirely concerning to you. You had a feeling that maybe his experience wasn’t… all there, and you were content with moving at a gradual pace, his pace. Quite truthfully, your pride and ego was well-fed knowing that you’d be the only one to share these experiences with your boyfriend for the first time.
Today, however, you had noticed a shift in San’s attitude and he was more clingy than normal; sticking to your side like glue whenever you went anywhere within your student living apartment. It started off with not wanting to let you get out of bed to use the restroom, clinging onto your waist tighter as you tried wiggling your way out of his arms and nuzzling his head in your neck with a low whine. Your head fell back against the mattress, letting out a sigh.
“Baby, what’s wrong, hm,” you stopped to look down at him as best as you could given your current state. You weren’t annoyed, by all means, but something was definitely bothering San and you were maybe just a little hurt that he was acting differently like this as a way to let you know. You wiggled around again, snaking your arm around his back and combing your fingers through the short hairs that were at the nape of his neck. 
San nuzzled his head deeper into the crook of your neck, the feeling of his eyelashes fluttering against your sensitive skin giving you goosebumps.
“Nothing’s wrong… just- I don’t know. Just wanna be around you, s’all.” Sans lips grazed ever so lightly as he spoke against your skin.
You hummed in faux agreement, “Okay, whatever you say. Lemme get up and go pee, then I can make us something to eat and we can put on that one show you were telling me about the other day, yeah?”
San squeezed his arms around you tightly one last time, before he rolled over and laid against the bed, a pout forming on his lips.
“Fine, that sound’s good.”
-
You were bent over, looking in the fridge and wondering what the hell you were going to cook up. The groceries didn’t look promising, probably because there was a lack thereof, and it was enough to have you close the fridge and look for something in the pantry.
Suddenly, muscular arms wrapped around your body, one around your waist and the other around your upper chest. Light kisses were peppered and pressed against your shoulder and the back of your neck.
“Baby, can’t we just order delivery? I miss you and want you back in bed,” San voiced through his tiny ministrations on your neck. You couldn’t help but giggle at your boyfriend’s clinginess, this level of clinginess being a new side of him you had yet to see. However, you still tried your best to keep your composure, but his broad chest felt so warm against your back that you couldn’t help but indulge in his affection.
“You sure you're okay? You’re not running a fever? Or a concussion?” You tried to turn your head to face him, but his kisses were too distracting on your body and San always had a way of making you feel like he was worshiping you. His arms squeezed you tighter, pulling your ass to meet his crotch. He gave a little thrust and you felt his hard-on press into the clothed crevice of your ass. San gave you one last kiss before he rested his chin on your shoulder and looked at you with hooded eyes.
“Yes, love, I’m okay. I just miss you, “ San leaned forward, pressing your noses together before pushing his hips up into you again, his eyes fluttering softly before he looked back at you.
“So this is why you’re being like this, huh?” A small smile formed on your lips, quickly leaning in to peck San before pulling away. “You want me to help you out?” San turned his gaze away from you, the tips of his ears becoming hot and red, which you found more than endearing.
“Whatever you wanna do right now, I’m okay with, San. Just do whatever you think might feel good for you, okay?” You spoke softly, somewhat anticipating if your boyfriend was going to make any type of move. The farthest you had gotten with San was the occasional heavy make-out sessions with occasional groping- but he never reached to touch you where you wanted him most.
San released you from his grip, not speaking as he turned you around and gently grabbed your wrist. You looked at him, waiting to see if he was going to give any response but instead, he dragged you to the bedroom, leading you to stand at the edge of the bed before walking back to the door and quietly shutting it.
He turned back to look at you, his face and ears flushed before slowly walking towards you and standing in front of you sheepishly.
“You said I can do whatever I think feels good…?” San fidgeted with his fingers, pulling the inside of his cheeks between his teeth. You grabbed his hands, gently rubbing your thumb across the top.
“Whatever you want, baby. However you want, too… however you wanna use me, I trust you,” you brought one his hands to your lips, pressing gentle kisses before opening his palm and pressing your cheek against him. You heard him gulp as you briefly glanced down and noticed the tent in his sweatpants begging for some friction, alongside the faintest spot of pre-cum forming.
“May you bend over the bed?” He spoke softly as he looked at you, eyes glossed over with lust.
You smiled and nodded, lifting your head from his palm. Before you began to turn around to bend over the edge of the bed, you stood on your tip-toes, kissing the round little tip of San’s nose before you quietly cooed at him.
“Only because you asked me so kindly,” you placed a light kiss on his lips. You caught the way his nose scrunched as he fought back a smile. He knew you loved how well-mannered he was.
You turned around and bent over the edge of the bed, your clothed-ass on display for San. You weren’t sure what he had in mind as you laid in this position, but before you could ponder too long you felt cool hands push your shirt up a little so your waist was now exposed to the cold air and before San. You could feel your lover’s body heat behind you as he began to position himself closer to you. Soft massages kneaded their way into your hips and you couldn’t help but rest your forehead on your arm as you tried your best to look back and get a good view of San.
From your peripheral, you could see how timid he was. He stared down at your ass, lip between his teeth and stepping just right to get the angle he wanted behind you. The grip of his massages became harder before his hands stilled and you felt him roll his hips into your ass.
The pressure of his heavy, clothed-cock pressing into your ass had your mouth running dry. It had been awhile since you had sex, of course respecting San’s choices into wanting to take it slow (which you also had wanted to as well, thinking that the wait would most definitely be worth it). For some reason though, the idea of not going all the way right now felt far more intimate than the act itself and that familiar feeling of warmth rushing to your core was making your body become hot and bothered quick, insanely quick.
San hadn’t moved, just resting his weight against you, hips pressed firmly into your ass. His breaths were deep and slightly heavy as you did your best at turning your body to get a better view of him; trying to take in the way his cheeks were flushed and how his mouth was red and puffy from how hard he was biting it. He couldn’t seem to take his eyes off the way his straining cock met the curves of your ass perfectly. 
“You’re doing good, baby. Just do whatever you think feels good,” You pushed your hips back against him, hearing him let out a sigh. “You know I'll be good for you, San.”
San let out a loud whine, running his hands up your back and raising your shirt in the process before lightly scratching his nails back down and hooking his fingers into your waistband.
“Y/N, can I- is it- is it okay if I take off your pants?” San rolled his hips against your ass again and you could tell he was trying to have some self-restraint, as if not to come too soon.
“Yes, please, fuck,” you groaned. San slowly rolled your pants down over the curve of your ass, pushing himself off you just enough to get them down your legs and helping you get them completely off before kicking them away from the bed.
“My underwear-“
“I know just- just let me,” San re-positioned himself behind you and when you turned your head to glance behind you, you noticed that San had also taken off his bottoms, only leaving him in his briefs and his sleep shirt which was mostly unbuttoned, leaving the expanse of his chest exposed enough to see the pink flush.
You turned back to rest your forehead against your arm, anticipating the feeling of San's heavy (and now more thinly layered) cock against your ass. 
You felt the bed dip on the side of your head, you turned to see San’s hand gripping the duvet as his other hand found contact with your hip again. He rolled his hips into you and as he did so you felt your underwear shift up and put tension on your clit. San soon fell into a steady pace of grinding his hips against your ass, occasionally leaning down to place kisses on your shoulder and suck and nip at the back of your neck.
“Y/N, baby, you feel so good like this,” San nipped at your ear, letting out a soft moan when he looked down at where the swells of your ass slightly jiggled every time he rolled his hips.
“Yeah? Feels good?” You turned your head to look at him as best as you could, almost all his body weight was on you as he began to rut his hips against your ass. You pouted your lips at him, silently pleading for the feeling of his lips on yours. He leaned down and indulged in you, lazily moving his lips against yours. In the midst of kissing, you caught his tongue with your lips and began sucking lightly. You felt San’s hips stutter and he moaned loudly with his tongue still trapped between your lips. San suddenly pulled away, his hair matted against his forehead, shirt ruffled and lips puffy. There were traces of drool going down his chin and the idea of kissing him until he became a wet, whiny mess had your mind reeling. 
“Something wrong?” You looked up at San, glancing down at the now more noticeable wet spot on his briefs, a mixture of your desire and his.
“Nothing, it’s just if I come, I wanna look at you. Flip over for me,” San placed his hands on your hips, “please,” shooting you a cheeky smile that had you giggling.
Once you flipped over, San positioned himself to where one of his legs was nestled between your thighs and pressed deliciously against your core. His head found purchase in your neck, attaching his lips and leaving love bites everywhere he could.
“You know, I've been trying not to come fast this whole time,” San breathed into your neck. “I’m just wondering how good it’s gonna be when we actually fuck,” he lifted his head to take a good look at you. 
He hadn’t realized how fucked out you actually were and it was a mental image he wanted to keep stored in his head for as long as he could. This time you were the one getting shy, the idea of San fucking you right now, eager and clumsy, was too tempting. Your panties were sticky and truthfully it was starting to get a bit uncomfortable, but San had moved his attention back to your neck, softly rutting against your hip bone which had his thigh rubbing against your clit. You involuntarily rolled your hips against his thigh, letting out a feathery moan.
San’s head snapped up from your neck, looking down at you with furrowed brows as he pressed his thigh harder into your clothed-heat. Your eyes squeezed shut as you let out another moan, head turning to the opposite side from San in embarrassment.
“San-“
“I want you to do what feels good too,” his hand grabbed your chin, gently pulling your face to look back in his direction again. His stare was too much, his eyes averting from yours to your lips and back to yours before he moved one finger to the tip of your mouth.
As if on instinct, you opened and welcomed his index finger, gently sucking and rolling your tongue around the length while doing your best to maintain eye contact.
San's eyes were solely focused on how your lips were so perfectly wrapped around his finger as the rest of his hand maintained a semi-hard grip on either side of your cheeks.
“Fuck, I can’t do this baby, I wanna come on you. Please, can I come on you?” San’s voice quivered as his eyes made their way back up to yours. With your mouth still occupied, you nodded, moaning around his finger as a means of saying yes.
He took his finger from your mouth, gently wiping it on the hem of his shirt before reaching for his shirt collar and swiftly removing it from his body and throwing it at the foot of the bed.
“It was starting to get too hot for that. You feeling okay?” San spoke, throwing a quick glance at you before he shuffled around on the bed and placed his hands on your knees to spread your legs to make room for him. 
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” You shifted, moving your legs around so he could slot himself between you. It took you a minute to realize that San was more bare than you, something that rarely happened. San wasn’t shy or insecure about his body, at least you didn’t seem to get that impression. You knew he took good care of himself and his physique, working out as often as he could in between study sessions or dance practices. Yet, you had come to the conclusion that maybe he just wasn’t as comfortable being shirtless in a lounge setting than you had initially thought.
“Maybe, but you didn’t answer me. How are you feeling?” San laid more of his body weight on you and instinctively you brought your hands up to feel the soft flesh of his chest.
“Feeling like I'm gonna overheat in this thick ass shirt but I also don’t wanna take it off.”
His gaze softened, placing pecks across your face. He started with your forehead, leading to your left cheek and then your right. As your eyes fluttered shut, he gently placed kisses on top of your eyelids, following down your nose to your chin and then ending at your lips.
“You’re beautiful, baby. And I'll tell you a hundred times a day- no! a hundred times an hour if i have too.”
“Can I wear your shirt?” You smiled sheepishly.
His eyebrow twitched before he began to frantically nod his head, scrambling across the sheets to bring it up to you. You sat up enough to slip your shirt off and quickly replace it with San’s with ease. Thankfully, San wore pajama sets so the shirt was thin enough to not overwhelm you. San reached up to your chest, unbuttoning a few buttons on his sleep shirt that revealed just the right amount of cleavage for him to mess with.
Once settled back on top of you, he shifted his weight so that his cock laid right between your folds. the wet stains on both of your underwear making the fabric feel much thinner.
“Fuck, Y/N,” San placed one last kiss before looking down between where your bodies met, rolling his hips with purpose against your clit. The friction of the wet fabric and the pressure of the tip of his cock rubbing deliciously against your sensitive bud made you feel like you were going insane and soon enough you found yourself rolling your hips with his.
“San, baby, you’re doing so good for me, you know that,” you moaned, wrapping a hand in his hair and gently tugging. He groaned, this time pulling back far enough to slam his hips against yours.
You moaned as your back arched slightly off the bed- you weren’t sure what had come over San, but his energy had changed so much that you had forgotten he was inexperienced.
“I'm so good for you, huh?” San said through clenched teeth, rolling his hips harder and faster. This new found discovery of San enjoying praise did something for you, making your mind reel of all the intimate endeavors that would take place in the near future.
“So good you’re gonna let me come on you? Let me come all over your panties and stuff it back up in that little pussy of yours?” He was looking at you now, bottom lip glossed with saliva from sucking it between his teeth.
“Shit,” you raised your legs higher as you spread them out more, “are you sure you’ve never done this, San? I didn't know you could be so mouthy.”
San hooked one of your legs under his arm as he shifted to get a better angle to rub his cock between you.
“You’re the one and only, baby,” he laughed, “Didn’t know I had it in me either.”
You laughed, before wrapping an arm behind his neck and pulling him down towards you for a kiss. This one was by far the messiest kiss you had ever shared with San. As he rutted against you, his lips moved against yours sloppily. Thin trails of spit formed around your mouths as you sucked and licked against each other's tongues- San pulled away just enough to speak.
“Fuckfuckfuck,” his thrusts against your clit became rougher, the fabric of your underwear rubbing against you hard. You wrapped one leg around his waist, putting pressure on his lower back and pulling him closer to your body.
“I think I’m gonna come, Y/N, oh, oh fuck-“ you looked up at San, fingers still wrapped in his hair. his brows furrowed together, mouth falling into a small, cute ‘o’ shape, feeling his hips began to stutter.
“I know, baby, go ahead,” you moved your hips against his, “you did so good. Go ahead and give it to me.” 
That seemed to set San over the edge, a high-pitched whine coming from his lips and you soon felt a warm liquid fall on top of your mound. You looked down to see San still coming, hot-spurts making their way through his briefs, the mental image of him coming inside and milking him dry making your mind reel. You moaned, bringing your hand up to his cheeks and pulling him forward in a lazy kiss.
You felt San’s hand make its way to the top of your waist band as he pulled away from you and looked down.
“I wasn’t joking about stuffing you with this Y/N,” San wiped at some of his come from your underwear with his middle finger before bringing it lower to your clothed-entrance. He prodded at the wet fabric, rubbing his come at where your hole was clenching eagerly to feel some type of release. You felt him push lightly against you, rubbing in circles his come-covered finger before applying more pressure. He quickly swiped up more before going back to your entrance and pushing his fingers inside you as best he could with your underwear still creating a barrier between the two of you. Your head fell back against the sheets and your hips moved lightly against his finger.
“San,” you moaned as a hand reached down to his wrist, holding it steady as your hips moved with more fervor. You felt his hand pull back as he shifted down to be face first with your pussy. Just as you were about to pout at the loss of contact, a harder pressure was applied. You glimpsed down through hooded eyes, taking your lip between your teeth as you saw San looking back up at you to gauge your reaction. 
This time his palm was pressed against you, cupping gently and moving up and down slightly as if he were giving you a massage.
“Grind against me, y/n,” San spoke softly, turning his head and pressing soft kisses against the inside of your thigh. He pressed his palm harder against your clothed-heat, turning his attention back to you. Your hips moved on their own accord, the fabric continuing to pull and rub against your clit. Breathy moans filled the room and San used his free hand to rub gently into your thighs and waist, occasionally reaching up to your chest and grabbing roughly through your (his) shirt.
You felt his hand pull away again, only to be quickly met with a light slap, a jolt rushing through your body as you let out a gasp. Your hand reached for the duvet, twisting lightly in your palm as you craved for that feeling again.
“Harder, please, harder,” your eyes squeezed shut as you moved your hips closer to San’s face, your way of asking for some release. The knot in your stomach began to coil tighter, waiting to be pushed over the edge. San dug the heel of his hand against your clit, moving softly as you moved your hips at your own desired and eager pace.
“Oh- oh fuck, baby, I’m gonna cum,” your hand made way to find grip in San’s disheveled hair, grabbing at the base of his locks and tugging with just enough force. In the haze of pleasure, you could make a distinction of moans that weren’t your own and you had just enough time to look down in between your legs to see San with his eyes shut and eyebrows furrowed and he let out a whine. His hand pressed harder against your clit one last time before the tension in your stomach snapped and your hips stuttered against his palm.
San moaned with you, keeping his hand pressed against you as you rode out your orgasm.
“That's it, want you to give it all to me,” he turned his head against your thighs again, placing small kisses and bites along the expanse of the fleshy skin. The lingering feelings of your orgasm soon finished and you’d fallen into a comfortable daze, loosening your grip in San’s hair and softly running your fingers through it instead. Your eyes began to flutter, forgetting about the stickiness in your panties. You snapped to your senses when you felt San move forward, still between your thighs and closer to your clothed crotch. 
He inhaled where you felt the wetness of both yours and his release was mixed together, letting out a low moan before he moved back up the bed so he was directly above you.
“You are such a perv for doing that, by the way,” you laughed as you ran your hands across his chest, taking note of the flush that was creeping up his neck.
“Hey,” he whined, leaning down to nuzzle into your neck. “You said I could do whatever I thought felt right,” you could hear and feel the pout in his voice.
“I didn't say I minded you being a little perv-y, if I wasn’t so sleepy right now I might try getting off again,” your arms wrapped around his back, nails lightly scratching up and down as you felt more of his body weigh against you.
“Is that so?” San spoke softly as his lips sucked love bites into your neck.
“It is,” you moved your head to the side, allowing more room for him to kiss and suck at your neck. “You know you sound cute when you’re all whiny, San.”
“Babe,” his voice dragged out as he rolled off you, embarrassed. Your laugh rang throughout the room as you turned to your side and reached out for San before he could make it too far out of reach.
“You know I'm teasing you, baby. Now can we clean up real quick before I pass out over here?” you placed a quick kiss on San’s lips before you began to get up from the bed, the stickiness between your legs becoming too unbearable.
San followed behind you quickly, grabbing your waist and pulling you in his arms.
“Thank you,” he whispered against your hair as he hugged you a little more tightly. You smiled against his chest as you wrapped your arms around his waist, this man was definitely going to be the death of you.
-
It hadn’t been very long since your previous intimate interaction with San, and you had noticed that he was much more keen on expanding and expressing his sexual interests with you. He was more clingy, and confident, and was constantly finding ways to express his sweet affections towards you, especially in the confines of your shared apartment.
He asked questions constantly about your own sexual interests, which you found both cute and endearing as most times (all the time) he’d stutter and get all flustered at the thought of even saying such crude things aloud so casually.
So today, when he asked you about your own self-pleasure experiences, you weren’t entirely caught off guard.
You both laid in the living room, sprawled on the couch, your head in his lap as his fingers softly scratched against your scalp. He was focused on something on his phone as you felt your eyes get heavier with the comfort of having your hair played with, the noise from the television being the right amount of white noise to allow you to doze off peacefully. San set his phone down on the arm rest, leaning forward slightly to get a glimpse of you.
“Babe, you still up?” San spoke softly, removing his hand from your head and bringing it to caress your cheek. You hummed, snuggling your head into his lap to get more comfortable.
“Hm… yeah, I’m up,” you muttered, your eyes finally blinking slowly before you shut them completely. You felt him lean back against the couch, hand still resting on your cheek, his thumb slowly running back and forth.
“Well if you’re up, like up up- awake up, then I have a question. Hm… something I’m curious about.” San spoke slowly, as if he was thinking of the right way to word his sentences so as to not come across a certain way. You nodded, having enough sense to know that your boyfriend wanted to talk to you seriously, forcing your eyes open as much as the sleepiness would allow.
“I’m up, I'm up… what is it, hm?” A silence followed as you waited for San to speak, you shifted in his lap so you were looking up right at him. his eyes focused on the television, but in a way that was zoned out and not actually paying attention to the content that was displayed on the screen.
“San?” your attention on him completely now, taking note of the way his eyebrows were furrowed together as his hand had slipped from your cheek amidst your shifting and was now lying comfortably across your neck. Hearing your voice snapped him out of his little daydream as he looked down out at you, the tips of his ears catching a blush.
“Oh, yeah. Um… I was just curious about- like- how do I say- uh,” his voice trailed off as he averted his attention back to the television. You waited expectantly, having an idea where this conversation might be leading to.
“Go on,” you spoke softly.
“Have you ever… touched yourself?” San whispered, as if speaking too loudly would get him scolded by the gods above. You couldn’t help but laugh, getting up from his lap and sitting up again on the couch to face him. Sleep was no longer something on your mind as your boyfriend never failed to catch your attention in conversations like this. He pouted, avoiding your eyesight and fidgeting with his fingers in his lap.
“Sorry baby, I don't mean to laugh. You’re just too cute when you get like this,” you leaned forward to place a quick kiss on his cheek before you leaned back and answered him properly.
“Yes, I have touched myself before. Who’s asking?” you teased.
San shot you a quick glance before facing forward again, shifting to sit up straighter. He cleared his throat before speaking once again.
“With a toy? Have you- uh- ever touched yourself with a toy?” His cheeks flushed as he moved his hands higher in his lap, crossing his legs. Your eyebrows raised, a slight smile forming on your face. You scooted closer to him, laying your head on his shoulder as you wrapped your arms around his bicep.
“Yes and no. I had like... one of those little bullet vibrators a long ass time ago that Heejin got me as a joke but ended up throwing that shit away ‘cause… well… it was a bullet vibrator,” you laughed, leaning your head further into his space.
“After that, it crossed my mind to maybe get actual toys. Like a vibrating dildo or a butt plug or something but it’s hard finding good sites that sell that shit discreetly and adult shops are just so… I feel too awkward,” your voice trailed, looking up to see San looking back down at you, waiting for you to finish your thoughts.
“You know how you see those videos of coffee shop baristas and they’re like ‘what your coffee order says about you’ or ‘what you look like based on your coffee order’ and it's a bunch of stereotypes that are lowkey kinda true? Yeah, I feel like that’s what would happen if I went to a sex shop. I mean, I think my kinks are pretty tame compared to extremists- at least I think they are- but… still it’s just so awkward,” you physically cringed. 
San nodded, laughing lightly at the comparison you gave between coffee shops and sex shops. You reached up to place your hand on his cheek and turned him to face you. 
“Are you asking me because you wanna get one?” You smiled mischievously.
“Well, you see, I was asking ‘cause, you know-“ San fumbled his words.
“We can if you want… I don't really mind. Is that what you were looking at on your phone?”
San nodded, reaching for his phone again, and stealing a quick glance at you before unlocking it and leaning into you so you both had a clear view of his screen.
The next hour was spent between looking at options before deciding on a generic vibrating dildo, deciding that you could upgrade later if need be. The estimated delivery time was said to be a week, so to your surprise at checking the mail room downstairs three days later with a package, was exciting to say the least.
On the way back to your room, you pulled your phone out, opening your chat with San.
y/n: bb look!
y/n: 1 file attachment
y/n: it just came in the mail... ;-)
y/n: tbh i'm surprised it got here so fast?? then again it says it came from that one town we drove thru on the way to my parents so ig it wasn’t that far??
-
“Hold on guys, gimme one sec,” San panted, breaking away from his friends and their current dance session.
“Aw shit, Mr. loverboy over here gotta answer to his girl,” Yunho teased, nudging Wooyoung as they both laughed amongst themselves.
San shot them both a teasing glare before picking up his phone and opening your messages. As he was getting ready to hit send, another message from you was delivered and soon after a photo attachment.
y/n: 1 file attachment
y/n: san omg
y/n: why does this thing look huge
y/n: its kinda cute tho good job picking it out
y/n: baby hurry up and get home plsplsplsplpslspsl need u nowww
“Whatcha looking at?” Wooyoung chirped, swinging his arm around San's shoulders and leaning towards his phone. Before San could push Wooyoung away, he was already opening his mouth.
“Damn! Is that a dildo? Since when did you get all freaky on us, man? Coulda sworn you were still a virgin!” Wooyoung grabbed his phone, clicking on the image you sent. Your hand was delicately wrapped around the base of the dildo, which was an opaque purple shade (color choice courtesy of San). Your hands did the toy no justice, because you were right- it did in fact look huge.
“Ay man, gimme my phone,” San said in his most assertive voice he could muster, not even bothering to panic or make frantic moves at Wooyoung- knowing how his friend was. It didn't help that his cheeks were tinted with a light blush and he could feel his cock stirring in his sweats at the thought of you begging for him to come home so you guys could get play around. 
“Hey, what happened?” Yunho came up to San and Wooyoung, looking between the two men. San’s phone pinged again with another message from you and Wooyoung took a quick glance, smirking, before handing the phone back to San.
“Well, our Sannie boy here seems to have gotten a bit mischievous these days, Yunho. I think we should wrap up practice early today, let him get back home to his girl,” Wooyoung said as he looked back at a confused Yunho.
San looked down at his phone quickly, wondering what could’ve possibly gotten Wooyoung to say such a response.
y/n: 1 file attachment
y/n: can’t wait to play w my sweet boy <3
The picture was of you already in bed, one of San’s shirts with some cute but simple black lace panties. Your knees were bent and the dildo was laying between your thighs as if to make it appear like you were wearing a strap-on.
San's eyes went wide, his ears feeling hot, and his stomach flipping knowing that one of his friends was well-aware about the kind of activities you and him were planning on having tonight.
“Oh yeah? I was actually planning on cutting practice early anyways. Mingi texted me asking if I could stop by the studio for some feedback on some of his and Joong’s songs for that showcase in a couple weeks,” Yunho eyed San carefully, who was staring at his phone screen intently. Wooyoung laughed as he caught Yunho's confused expression towards San.
“Alright, well I'm out then! I'll catch y’all later! I gotta meet up with Jongho and Yeosang for one of  our CompSci classes,” Wooyoung headed for the door, grabbing his jacket and bag from the rack. “Oh and San, one more thing,” Wooyoung turned around, waiting for San to look up at him and properly acknowledge him. San's attention averted to Wooyoung, waiting for him to speak.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn't do... and trust me, there’s not a lot out there I wouldn't,” he shot San a wink before slipping out the door.
“That guy, man,” Yunho laughed, shaking his head.
“Well, I'm gonna head out? Just text in the group chat when you wanna meet up again, you know when I'm free. Or let Seonghwa know,” San spoke quietly, his mind still reeling on the fact that you were home alone right now, horny, waiting for him. 
The feeling of his cock being constrained tightly against the band of his boxers turned into an aching sensation- god, he just wanted to be with you already.
“Yeah, I'll text you later,” the two men nodded at each other. San made his way to the door, and just before he had the chance to exit, Yunho called out to him.
“Ya!” 
San turned around, looking expectantly at Yunho.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn't do.” Yunho smiled, waving San off.
“Shut up, Yunho.” San laughed, giving him the middle finger and shaking his head.
And with that, San slipped out of the practice room, making his way to his car.
-
You were laid in bed, scrolling mindlessly between social media outlets, distracting yourself enough as you waited for San to get home from dance practice. 
[new notifications]
my bb: on my way home now, my love
my bb: ur kinda insane btw
my bb: sending pictures like that while im out
my bb: the guys ended practice early, had some other stuff they needed to do
my bb: ill be home in 5
You smiled reading the messages, excited to see your boyfriend after you’d both been busy with classes and any other extracurricular activities you guys were involved in, but even more so knowing that you were going to be able to try out your new toy.
When San had arrived home, you were sprawled out on your stomach, a blanket draped over your lower half, the dildo and your phone momentarily forgotten. The faint sound of music flooded the room, your eyes closed as you quietly sang along.
San was true to his word because 5 minutes later he was entering your room, jacket and shoes already off, pulling his shirt over his head and discarding it to the chair tucked under your desk. The bed dipped as you felt a hand lay across your back, opening your eyes to welcome San laying down next to you, shirtless, in the bottoms he wore to practice and sweaty hair.
“Hi,” you spoke softly, shifting to face San as a hand reached up to cup his cheek. Your thumb ran along the skin, his eyes fluttering at your soft touch. 
“How was your practice, hm?”
“It was fine. Probably one of our better ones in a while so I’m kinda pissed it ended earlier than I expected, but I'm home now so I’m not complaining.” He finished his thought with a kiss to the tip of your nose as his hand was rubbing up and down along your back.
“Well, I'm glad your home ‘cause that means I get to take all your attention.”
“Hm, so where is it? Where’s the- uh, you know…”
You smiled at San getting flustered over his words, leaning back to feel around the bed before you finally lifted the blanket to reveal the cute little toy. You reached for it, putting it between you and San as you looked back at him expectantly.
“Right here! Isn’t it cute?” 
You rotated the toy in your hands, there wasn’t much to admire apart from the color and thickness and the handle with the buttons at the bottom. San’s cheeks were flushed as his hands traveled to your waist, gripping firmly.
“Yeah.. yeah it is,” he nervously laughed. “Did you... already put batteries in it?”
“Mhm, but I haven’t tested it out yet. I was waiting for you to get home.” 
You pressed the tip of the toy into San’s pectoral, slightly shifting your hand around to press the power button at one of the lower settings, a faint buzzing echoing in your ears. San began to breathe heavier, his grip on your waist loosening as his eyes screwed shut.
“What… what are you doing?” San sighed, eyes opening slightly as he looked down at you.
“Do you trust me?” your hand stilled.
San nodded. 
“Wanna hear you say it, baby. Do you trust me?”
“Yes, fuck, I trust you. I trust you so much, please." San's eyes screwed shut again. He didn’t know what he was begging for, he just wanted something. Since he’d left the studio, he’d been fighting down his boner the whole ride home, wanting to wait for you to play with him. It felt as though every bone in him was going to snap if he didn’t get some form of release, and fast.
You used your free hand to lightly push him on his back, soon adjusting yourself to swing your leg over his waist. You leaned forward, pressing a light kiss against his lips before you rested your forehead against his.
You had nudged your nose against his softly, a butterfly kiss.
“Then lemme take care of you, sweet boy.” 
San let out a low moan, bucking his hips against you. You leaned back, pressing your weight against his cock, his chest heaving up and down quickly, arms tense at his sides. You let out a breathy laugh at his nervous reaction, suddenly feeling your own chest tighten with nerves. This was really happening, huh?
“Just relax, baby. I got you, okay?” You ran the toy that was still vibrating slightly down the middle of his chest, stopping right above his naval. 
“If you don’t like something, promise you’ll tell me, yeah?”
“Yes, yes, Y/N I’ll tell you, just- just please-” you looked below where your crotch was on top of San. He still had his practice sweats on, his cock straining so hard in the confinement.
“Is it okay if I take these off you?” 
You switched the vibrator off before tossing it to the side, getting up to stand at San’s feet which were hanging off the end of the bed. A quick yes was enough confirmation to slide his sweats off, once off your hand reached to his briefs, stopping just as your fingers hooked on either side of the band. 
“These too?” 
Another quick yes from San allowed him to be laying completely naked in front of you. His cock sprung, slapping against his naval, red and leaking with pre-cum- begging for some friction.
You crawled back up the bed, hands resting on either side of San’s head. You reached to his forehead to brush the hair that was beginning to curtain his eyes, feeling the sweat that was starting to form at his hairline. You leaned down, pressing your lips to the spot between his eyebrows and leaving a trail of kisses down to his cheeks and jawline before making a final round to his lips. His arms wrapped around your back, pulling you flush against his chest as his tongue slipped in your mouth.
You both stayed like that for god knows how long, lazily making out and groping one another, enjoying each other’s presence to the fullest. San pulled away from you, looking up at you with swollen, wet lips and flushed cheeks.
“Baby, I love kissing you so much, you know that, but my dick is so hard right now that I feel like I'm about to pass out,” he whispered, his hands pushing your shirt up and then making their way down to the swell of your ass.
You laughed, lifting yourself off of him to sit yourself in his lap but he stopped you before you could get yourself comfortable and situated.
“Wait! Wait... um- can you- would you mind taking these off?” San asked sheepishly, fingers hooking ever so lightly in the waistband. 
You felt yourself clench around nothing, you and San hadn’t been naked in front of each other like this. Not in such a lewd position at least, so the thought had your mind and body raging with nerves and excitement. You moved quickly to rid your panties from your legs, your essence following along and smearing on the inside of your thighs. San's eyes followed your movements and in the corner of your eye, you caught a glimpse of his dick twitching against his stomach. 
You climbed back on the bed, legs on either side of San’s hips, lowering yourself so the underside of San's cock was wedged between your pussy.
“Fuck,” San whined, hands finding purchasing on your waist again and making their way under the front of your shirt to grope at your bra-less chest. 
You were embarrassed at how turned on you were, but before you even had enough time to register that, your hips moved along San’s length. Your slick made your movements easier, stopping yourself just enough that your clit teased against the head of his cock. You felt San’s index finger flick against your hardened nipple, your hips stuttering as you let out a breathy moan.
“Baby, you’re gonna be the death of me you know that?” You moaned again as San brought his thumb up to pinch your nipple. “So cute, so good for me. Always treat me so good, fuck, got such a pretty cock too.” 
You reached to your side, grabbing the dildo and turning it on low. San's eyes followed your movement, you pressed the tip of the toy to slit San's cock. His body jolted under you, his mouth fell lax as his stomach tensed. Your free hand scratched lightly at his stomach, your other pressed the toy harder against the slit of his cock as you began to softly grind your clit along his length.
“Oh- oh my god- fuck,” San’s body shook as he let out a string of profanities. “It feels too good, y/n. I think I'm gonna come- fuckfuckfuck.”
“Go ahead, baby. You deserve it, go ahead and make a mess.” 
You moved your hips against his length faster, loving the way his stomach and thighs were flexing underneath you.
“I’m coming, oh fuck, oh-” San’s arms flew over his face as he let out a long whine. 
Hot, milky spurts painted his stomach and chest beautifully, a little bit shooting up underneath his chin and along his neck. you slowed your hips, taking in how fucked out your boyfriend looked like this.
You turned off the toy, setting it down next to you as you reached up to San, removing his arms from his face. His eyes were barely open, his whole face flushed as his bangs were matted against his forehead.
“Hey, you okay?” You whispered softly, planting a soft kiss to his lips. San hummed in confirmation, a soft smile forming on his face. 
“Good, lemme clean you up real quick.” You leaned back, swiping your finger at some of the mess on San's stomach and bringing it to your lips. To your surprise, San’s cock twitched ever so slightly, still red and half-hard.
You got up to grab the towel from your desk chair, walking back and softly wiping at San’s stomach, chest, and neck. Once finished, you settled in bed next to him, laying on your side.
“You didn’t come?” 
You shook your head no as your hand reached up to play with his hair.
“But don’t worry about it. Tonight was about you, okay?” 
San pouted, and in a blink of an eye he was hovering over you. both of his hands planted on either side of your head, his half-hard cock weighing down against your mound.
“Lemme take care of you... I wanna play with you too.” 
He sat back on his heels, his hands moving to your knees and spreading your legs apart so your pussy was on full display. Your breath hitched as you saw him reach for the toy, his hands twisting it around to maneuver the buttons on. The buzzing sound filled the room again and soon you felt a pressure against your clit.
Moaning, you looked down where San’s hand lay between your legs holding the toy. He was unsure what to do, it was clear on his face. You reached down to wrap your hand around his wrist.
“Here. Like this.” 
You moved the toy along your folds; San shifted on the bed so he was now laying on his stomach, his face adjacent from your pussy, teeth between his lips as he watched intently how you moved his hand around to pleasure yourself.
He turned the setting up a notch with his free hand, before moving it to grab underneath your thigh and placing it over his shoulder.
“Is it okay if I put- hm... put it in?” He asked, placing a quick kiss on your thigh before he turned his attention back to your fluttering hole.
“Yes, please baby, please put it in.”
You moaned as his hand moved the toy just right and the tip of the toy prodded at your entrance. The grip San had on your thigh tightened as the toy pushed its way in slowly. 
You couldn’t see, too enthralled in your own pleasure, but San’s hips had begun to rut against the bed. He’d been imagining his own cock in place of the toy, easing into you, stretching you out, making you shake, maybe even cry with how good it all fucking felt. He was eager to make you climax, so he continued to push the toy into you, giving the bed beneath him a particularly hard thrust as well.
Your walls fluttered against the toy, it’d been awhile since you’d felt so full. You’d touched yourself before but the width and length of your fingers was far different compared to how the toy felt inside you. Even far more different when it was your lover who was fucking you with it.
Your hand slid up your shirt, grabbing at your breasts as the other went to pull at San’s hair.
“Feels so full.” You moaned, your hips moving at the same rhythm of San’s hand. 
“Wish it was your cock making me feel good, want it. Want it so bad, baby.” 
You were close, so fucking close. 
San began to push the toy deeper in you all while kissing and biting at your thigh.
“Fuck- faster.” 
The grip on San’s hair tightened. The tension you felt in your belly ready to snap at any given moment.
“Like that?” San whispered, his hand pushing the toy in and out of you.
“Yes- don’t stop. please, please baby don’t fucking stop. I’m gonna come-” You squirmed along the bed, trying to move your hips along with the perfect rhythm that San had created. 
You felt him press your hips down to still you, his head moving forward as you felt his lips place a feathery kiss to your clit before giving it a harsh suck. You finally snapped.
“Oh fuck I’m coming- fuck! I’m coming.” You whined as your legs tried closing in around San to snap shut.
San didn’t let up on the sucking, still holding the toy deep inside you trying to make the most of your orgasm. He moaned against your clit, releasing from you with a faint pop and leaning his head against your thigh.
You looked down at him as he pulled to toy out from you, his eyes admiring how wet you’d made it. As if his curiosity got the best of him, he brought the toy to his mouth and wrapped his lips around the tip. His eyes met yours as his cheeks hollowed out, pushing the toy further in before pulling out and licking his lips clean. He made his way back up to you, putting all his body weight on you and nuzzling his face into your neck, letting out a sigh of content.
“You taste good, babe, wanna eat you out next time,” San whispered in your ear, his tongue playfully licking at your earlobe.
“I don’t know how you do it.” 
San lifted his head from your neck and peppered kisses all over your cheek.
“Do what?” He pushed himself off you, grabbing the towel you had used on him earlier and pushing your legs apart so he could gently wipe you clean. You used as much strength as you had left to bring yourself up to rest on your elbows, eyeing him.
“Drive me crazy, that’s what.” You laughed as your eyes trailed down to where San was laying earlier.
“Hey what’s that?” You pointed at the rather large spot on the comforter, San looked to where you were pointing, his eyes going wide.
“Holy shit… no fucking way.” Your jaw dropped in disbelief. “You came again? On the bed?”
“Well... yeah…” San mumbled, tossing the towel to the pile of discarded clothes.
You laughed, crawling your way across the bed to meet your boyfriend, arms wrapping around his neck as his naturally fell around your hips.
“You’re a naughty thing, you know that? Are you sure you’re a virgin?” You teased, no real malice or doubt in your voice. 
You leaned forward to kiss the tip of his nose, catching the way his lips curved into a small smile. 
“How ‘bout we run a shower and we can worry about the sheets later, hm?” San nodded at your suggestion, lowering himself to grab the back of your thighs before lifting you up. 
Your legs wrapped around his waist as he began walking to the bathroom. 
“Hey,” you spoke softly. He stopped in his tracks, moving his head to face you, waiting attentively.
“Just wanted to say I love you,” you kissed him, feeling him smile against your lips, the feeling never getting old. He pulled away from you, resting his forehead against yours.
“I love you more, pretty girl.”
-
The last time you and San had messed around was a lot farther than you both had gotten with each other, and the more that you guys explored and experimented with each other’s bodies, the more both of you found yourselves constantly looking for ways to feed each other affection.
San was aware of your sexual experience and at times when he was too lost in his head, he’d often feel insecure and wonder if the other people you’d been with were better- in any aspect really.
However, you constantly reassured him otherwise and for that he was more than thankful. Which led him to his current predicament.
You weren’t at the apartment, having had to run some errands for the day and San insisted on making time to hang out. He’d woken up too late that you’d already left to go do the things you needed to get done, so you suggested he just wait at home until you finished. Ever so quick to please, he found himself doing random chores around the place to keep himself occupied.
Today was laundry day, he dumped the basket of clothes on the bed that you had taken forever to fold (one of his little pet peeves but, still, he didn’t mind picking up the slack every now and then because he knew how busy you got.)
He hadn’t realized that the current load to switch from the laundry was your delicates (he zoned out quite a lot when he was left to his own devices), and for whatever reason he was feeling himself become more and more embarrassed as the seconds passed.
It was just panties, he didn’t know why he’d felt so shy about it. He’d seen you in your panties plenty of times, even if you were just lounging around in them. You were his partner, there was really no need to get all worked up, right?
No, there definitely was. He felt like a pervert feeling himself warm up at the thought of messing around with your intimate pieces of clothing without you here. But that feeling didn’t stop him from doing what he was about to do next. 
He kicked his shoes off, making his way to your bed and laying amongst your sheets. Flipping over on his stomach, he buried his face in your pillow letting out a soft sigh. It smelled like you, sweet and safe, mixed with the stench of clean linens. He laid like that a little longer, the feeling of sleep trying to grasp him and almost winning. It wasn't until he shifted around to lay on his back that he noticed the tent forming in between his legs.
“Jesus…” he muttered to himself, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He was definitely more in love with you then he’d thought. You were always so understanding… so willing to let him explore his sexuality comfortably. but also so independent and level-headed, you just had so many qualities to you that he absolutely loved and made him feel loved and maybe that’s why just the thought of you drove him mad and never failed to awaken something deep inside of him. His heart swelled up each time you crossed his mind and for that he knew he was truly deep in some shit. 
For fuck’s sake- he was getting hard just being in your most intimate spaces- without you even here next to him!
He closed his eyes, hands fisting the sheets lightly. He didn’t want to get off right now, at least not until you got back or something. But the idea of also getting off in your bed, while you weren’t there next to him was also kind of exciting. He laid still for a few minutes, mentally giving himself a time frame to see if his erection would go away and if it softened- then that was that; if it didn’t… well he’d cross that bridge when he got there.
And much to his surprise, it didn’t soften. Getting up from your bed, he paced around your room. He was really contemplating the idea of getting off, wondering if he should text you and ask; you know- for the sake of being polite. But that idea sounded stupid and truthfully, he couldn’t bring himself to ask, not wanting to face any judgment you might have (little to his knowledge, you found it hot that San had his little perv-y moments- but you weren’t going to tell him that). 
Amongst his pacing, his hip bumped into one of your dresser drawers that had been left slightly open amidst your morning routine.
“Ah- fuck!” San grabbed his hip, rubbing harshly to soothe the pain. He looked down at the drawer he bumped into, noticing a mixture of patterns of lace and cotton intertwining with each other. His curiosity never failed to get the best of him, he reached for the drawer, hooking his fingers around the edge and pulling it open, bracing himself.
He’d already known what to expect when he opened the drawer quite truthfully, but god did he still feel a little shameful when he felt his cock twitch in his sweats looking at your panties that laid messily folded in the drawer below him.
He reached for the contents hesitantly, his eyes catching on a pair he remembered you wearing for one of your date nights. It was a black lace piece, the pattern soft and elegant like you, he thought to himself, with a tiny little pink rose placed atop a bow. that night you’d worn them, you and San were leaving a restaurant when your shoelaces had come undone- and ever the gentleman, San had offered to tie it for you. Insisting that he didn’t want you to bend down and worry about your skirt riding up or you flashing anyone, and maybe he’d taken a quick look up your skirt when you weren’t looking (you definitely noticed) but that was a story for another day.
Once he grabbed the panties, he noticed that the lace was a lot smoother in his hands than he thought, he wondered if you’d ever bought lingerie for him- or for your other past partners. He shook the thought from his head, not wanting to think about you being with other people right now- past or not.
His mind wandered as he remembered the first time you laid in front of him, in his shirt and panties, his hot come laying on your mound as you looked completely fucked out. San’s grip tightened around your panties as he debated this dilemma internally.
“Fuck it,” he muttered to himself as he closed the drawer with his other hand and made his way to your bed. He moved around, so that his body was half sitting up and half laying down against your sheets. If he was going to do this, he wanted to at least be comfortable.
 His cock was throbbing and it was starting to be painful, that familiar wet patch seeping its way through his underwear and sweats as if welcoming him for indulging in his sinful desires.
He bunched his shirt to his chest and pulled his bottoms down to just above his knees; his cock slapping against his naval, red and shiny.
He let out a soft moan at the contact, mind turning to mush as the smell of your sheets was making him feel so… safe. He gripped himself at the base, bringing his other hand that had your panties to his nose. his hand flinched, his thoughts making him second guess himself one last time before he inhaled deeply, tightening his grip around his cock.
“Fuck,” he whined, inhaling your panties one last time before bringing it to the tip of his cock and slowly wrapping the fabric around himself. The feeling of the lace was different and for a split second his mind entertained the idea of what it’d be like to wear them while he got himself off to the thought of you, but he was too desperate now- the thought leaving his mind just as fast as it had entered his head. 
He palmed the head of his cock, the lace rubbing against his slit, while his other hand tugged at his balls.
He felt dirty, filthy… utterly sinful. But he didn’t care as he kept stroking himself as he remembered the blissful look of you coming hard on that toy you’d both picked out. The hand that was tugging himself found his way up his stomach, lightly raking his nails against the skin before sliding under his shirt and stopping at his hardened nipple.
“Baby, please,” he whined softly. It was useless to beg, you weren’t there of course but he couldn’t help himself. He pictured himself between your legs again, this time having you ride his face. Using him however you wanted, his tongue prodding against your hole as he sucked and sucked and sucked against your clit. 
He flicked his nipple before giving it a quick pinch, his hips jerking off the bed against his panty-covered hand. He moved his hand free from his chest, bringing it down to his cock so both of his hands were wrapped around his shaft. Your panties covered his tip completely as he began to rut his hips upwards, both hands moving along with his hips.
He was close, so fucking close and it was all happening to quick.
“Fuck,” San groaned, “fuckfuckfuck,” his hips moved faster as his imagination kept going on and on with different scenarios of how he wanted to ravish you. Images of him fucking you in every position you could imagine, ran through his head. 
But the one that sent him over the edge was you on top, riding him dangerously slow, playing with your tits. In his head, you’d reached down and grabbed his chin, asking him so sweetly to look at you and open his mouth- and he did. you’d lean over him, letting go of his chin before making him stick his tongue out and grabbing the tip of it with your fingers and holding it firmly, leaning down and whispering obscene things to him- about him.
How he was so good for you, letting you fuck him dumb and never even imagining that he’d let you take control of him like this.
“Oh my fucking god I’m gonna come, please, oh my god,” San whined. “Wanna be good for you, so fucking good baby, please, feels so fucking good.” 
His hips stuttered as his eyes closed shut, a deep moan coming from his chest. He opened his eyes enough to look down, he felt like he couldn’t stop coming, his come seeping through your panties and sliding down his fisted hands.
For his own, twisted pleasure, he continued to stroke himself. Swiping at some of his come and bringing it to his slit, running his index finger back and forth. His body shivered, he wondered to himself if he could come again- Maybe if he really tried, but he knew as long as you ran through his head, anything was possible.
However, he was snapped out of his post-orgasm daze when his phone began to ring. He searched the bed looking for the sound, finally grabbing his phone and seeing your name flash against the screen. His heart pounded against his chest as he hit the green button.
“Hey, babe, what’s up?” He cleared his throat in hopes of not sounding too… off.
“Hey, was just calling ‘cause you weren’t answering my texts- just wanted to make sure you were good.” 
You mumbled something after that he couldn’t make out, hearing a faint honking noise in the background. 
“Anyways, I'm on my way back to the apartment, but wanted to see if you needed me to stop and get anything? You hungry?”
“No, I'm okay, just drive safe. I miss you.”
You laughed.
“I miss you, too, baby. You okay, though? You sound kinda off?”
“No- yeah, yeah I’m fine! Was just dozing off waiting for you, s’all.”
“Mhm… right.” 
Your voice dragged, not entirely convinced. 
“Okay, well, I’m not that far so I'll see you in a sec. Love you!”
“I love you more,” and with that you both hung up.
San set his phone down, laying his head back against your pillows as he looked up at the ceiling. He felt himself soften in his hands, the lace of the panties laying across more of his lower half. He entertained the thought more adequately this time, wondering what it’d be like to wear something like this, how would he look if you fucked him stupid while he wore-
“What the fuck?” he mumbled to himself, shaking his head as if to rid himself physically from the thought. He got up, looking for something to clean himself with as he tried to figure out where to put your now-stained panties.
Once that was decided, he laid back in your bed. Shuffling under the covers and recapping everything that had happened within the last hour. He shut his eyes briefly and on cue, the door beeped, signaling you had just gotten home.
He laughed to himself both in disbelief and embarrassment, you were really making him question everything. But for some reason, he didn’t mind as long as it was you.
-
It had been a few days after you had run your errands and had come back home to San lying around (quite suspiciously might you add) in your bed.
You didn't want to press him on it, but that didn’t keep you from having your own suspicions. Letting whatever it was that he was hiding, to let it be. Which you figured it couldn't have been that bad to begin with regardless, just that he had maybe been a bit... mischievous.
But it was the thought of him being alone in your room for that long, and knowing him, he intentionally or unintentionally snooped around.
Today was a laundry day though, you had grabbed your hamper and dumped the clothes on your floor so you could separate the delicates and the colors.
Amidst your separating, you noticed the black lace pair you'd worn ages ago, on one of the first dates that you and San had gone on.
You guys were walking back to the car when he had stopped you, letting you know your shoelace had come undone. Just as you were about to bend down and tie your shoe, he stopped you, insisting you shouldn't because you were wearing a skirt and he didn't want you to be uncomfortable. As he fell to his knees, you shifted your legs slightly, moving one foot out so he could tie your shoe easier. In doing so, your skirt raised, allowing your underwear to be seen. San's head turned, taking a quick peek and trying to memorize the lace pattern that was laying across your skin. You definitely noticed, turning your head away and smiling to yourself.
You reached for the pair, wondering to yourself when it was that you had worn them, dropping them once you realized that the pair had faint, white residue. Your eyebrows furrowed as you thought of all possibilities as to why your underwear would have dry cum on them.
Did... San...? You wondered, before thinking of ways in which you should ask him about it, or even if you wanted to. You decided to leave it be for now, ready to be over with your daily chores for the day.
-
[new notifications]
y/n: babe~
y/n: r u ready
y/n: im abt to be there in 5 :] 
San's phone buzzed from his shelf as he finished gathering up the rest of his items for your guy's trip. It was your first trip together, and he wasn't too sure about you, but he was definitely excited because this was finally going to be it. 
You had both talked about finally going all the way together, and San insisted at least creating a little world away from the craziness of your everyday lives so he could fully enjoy you. You thought it was sweet and honestly, he was the only boyfriend you had who was so adamant on constantly trying to create the perfect atmosphere to show his deep love for you, and it made your heart swell every single time.
His phone buzzed again, he glanced down at his watch, seeing a new message from you saying you were here. He walked over to the shelf where his phone was, grabbing it along with his weekend bag and heading out.
You waited patiently in the car, your thumbs tapping against the steering wheel to the rhythm of the music playing in the background. You snapped out of your mindless daze when you felt a knock against the window, you turned your head, meeting San's eyes as he pointed to the back of your car, signaling you to open the trunk.
Moments later he was sliding in the passenger seat next to you, leaning over the console and placing a soft kiss on your cheek.
"Hi baby," he said as he leaned back and hastened his seat belt over his chest, securing it in the buckle.
You smiled, "Hi, how'd you sleep?"
"Good, I think," he reached for your hand as you put the car in drive, listening idly to where the GPS was telling you to go. "Missed you, was excited all night for this trip," he brought your hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss.
You hummed, "You're awfully affectionate today, you really missed me that much, huh?"
San let out a light laugh, "I miss you everyday."
A comfortable silence shortly fell between the both of you as you continued to drive.
-
You pulled up to the Airbnb, which San had reserved for the holiday weekend. Calm waves hit the shore, and the sound of birds chirping echoed softly in the distance.
You put the car in park, nudging San slightly to get his attention.
"Look," you nodded your head in front of you. "Isn't it beautiful?"
"Wow," San leaned forward in his seat, his mouth open in awe. "It is... can't believe we get to spend the holiday here."
"C'mon, let's go check it out," you smiled before stepping out of the car.
You made your way to the house, San following behind. You opened the door, taking note of the spacious interior.
You felt San's arms wrap around you, him leaning down and placing soft kisses along your cheek before making his way up to your ear.
"All this space just for us, hm," he poked his tongue out, laying a soft lick against your lobe. "Wanna take you on every. Single. Surface."
You leaned back against him, your eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of him being so close.
"Yeah yeah, you can after we get settled in," you hummed, pushing yourself off him and making your way further into the house. You set your keys on the counter, taking one last look at the Airbnb before turning back to San and making your way to the door. As you were about to pass him, your hands tapped at his chest before pulling him with you.
"C'mon, you nasty boy, let's unload the car," You said, a light laugh from San following shortly after.
-
You stepped out the restroom, your robe hanging carelessly around your body as you tried drying off your hair as best as you could.
"Babe, I still don't know why we can't just shower together," San grumbled from the bed.
"'Cause," you mumbled, making your way to your suitcase. "I still get shy."
You rummaged through your clothes, looking for some undergarments and a lounge shirt. Quickly slipping them on, your eyes caught a peek at that specific pair you brought with you. You turned around to quickly glance at San, seeing that he was sprawled on the bed, shirtless and in sweats. His arms were crossed over his face as he mindlessly sung to himself. You reached down for the pair, finally turning around and tossing them onto San's chest.
His body gently flinched at the contact in surprise, before he moved his arms down and looked at what was laying on his chest. His body froze.
"Y'know I'd been meaning to ask you if those looked familiar," You said as you walked over to the bed, climbing your way up to seat yourself in San's lap. He looked up at you, his ears and face turning flush as he hummed in response.
"I was doing my laundry before the trip and well," You reached for the underwear before dragging it across his stomach. "I like to separate my delicates and colors and such... and I couldn't help but notice those were dirty."
"I also couldn't remember the last time I had worn them, at least recently. Do you know what they were dirty with, San?" 
He looked up at you briefly, his cheeks flushed and eyes full of guilt. Despite that, you felt him growing hard underneath you. you didn't give him a chance to answer before leaning down next to his ear and whispering, "They were dirty with someone's cum, baby... can you believe it?"
He let out a soft groan, his hands reaching for your waist before making their way down to your ass and gently groping you.
"Fine, fine. I'm guilty, you got me." His eyes squeezed shut as he gripped your ass more rough, before rolling his hips up into you.
You gasped, your chest pressing flush against San. "I wasn't expecting you to admit it so fast."
"Yeah, I know. I'm embarrassed, but right now I don't care. Just want you to touch me," His hands removed themselves from your ass before bringing them up to the back of your neck and pulling you into a kiss.
The kiss was slow and lazy, your hands making their way to lay gently on top of San's chest.
"Mm, babe," your voice muffled against San's lips, he hummed, pressing his lips harder and grabbing your ass tighter. You managed to pull away, pressing your forehead against his, opening your eyes slightly to see his eyes still shut.
"San," you whispered, pulling away completely to look down at him from being seated in his lap. You took note of the way his body stayed flush, the light sheen of sweat glistening in the dim light, his pink swollen lips, to the way his sweats were snug around his hard cock. 
"Why don't you..." Your hands slowly moved around his chest, the tips of your fingers grazing his skin like a feather, before stopping at the buds of his nipples. "Why don't you show me how you made a mess on my panties in the first place, huh?" Your fingers moved on their own, lightly pinching the buds between them and giving them a soft tug, testing the waters.
San moaned, his shoulders squirming against the mattress, "S-show you? Yeah, yeah I can do that, j-just lemme- ah," He opened his eyes to look up at you, the glossy look he had during moments like this never failing to make you weak. He lightly tapped your ass, signaling you to get off him, in which you complied. You shuffled along the bed until your back was leaning against the headboard, your shirt scrunched to your waist leaving the top of your thighs exposed. San moved next to you, moving himself around the bed until he managed to squirm his way to lay between your legs, his back pressed against your stomach and his head resting against your shoulder.
"You..." San's hands found their way to lay on the sides of your thighs, gently squeezing. "You said to show you, so I just thought... that maybe this would be... the best view I could give you." San's voice barely above a whisper, his head turning to look up at you. You nodded, looking back at him, leaning in to give him a quick kiss, your legs bending to place your feet on his waistband, doing your best attempt at trying to slide his sweats down.
His hands wrapped your ankles, leaning forward and giving each one a swift kiss before gently placing them on either side of his hips and laying back against you. He shimmied his way out his sweats before kicking them to the edge of the bed, his naked body on full display before you.
"It feels nicer like this," San said, his voice having a gravel edge to it. "When I was in your bed, I didn't have the luxury to be naked like I am now.." his cock looked angry laying against his stomach, beads of pre-cum smearing against the tight skin of his lower stomach. You stared in awe, before looking briefly at San's face, his hair falling into his eyes. You reached a hand to lay in his hair, swiping the hair upwards and running your nails gently back and forth against his scalp. San sighed, his cock jolting against his stomach, his head following the caresses of your hand.
"Y/n... you know," San’s hands clenched repeatedly against his sides before reaching down to wrap around his length. “There was so much that I was thinking about when I was laying in your bed.”
His hands massaged his length slowly, occasionally reaching down to tug at his balls before continuing his ministrations on himself.
You felt the wetness growing between your legs, your eyes skimming every part of his body displayed before you. the sheen of sweat forming at the base of his neck and trailing down the wide expanse of his chest. Your hands moved to his shoulders, gently caressing down his arms.
You hummed waiting for him to continue, shifting your hips as best as you could in your current position.
“You were on top, riding my face, and I was letting you do whatever you wanted to me, it just- ah- felt so good... knowing you were so good- feelin’ so good and-” San let out a loud moan, throwing his head back against your shoulder, eyes screwed shut. his hands tugged harder at his length, his thumb playing at the sensitive slit.
“What else, hm?” Your hands made their way to his nipples, testing the waters again and gently grazing against the hardened buds.
San's body caved in on itself at the sudden contact, rushing to tell you to wait.
“You okay?” You managed to get out, feeling your chest squeeze.
“Sorry, yes yes, I’m okay, it’s just.. if you keep doing that I’ll come too soon.”
"Here, lemme get up." 
San moved forward to let you move from behind him. 
"Lay back." 
His hand released his cock as he shifted around before finally grabbing a pillow and resting it behind his head. You shuffled to sit on top of him, not fully planting all your body weight down. San's breath hitched. Your hands reached for the knot of your robe, slowly untying it to reveal yourself before San and letting it fall down the expanse of your shoulders and back. 
San's eyes focused on every part of you, the way your nipples were perked from being aroused and the slight cool air that was slowly turning hot. The way your soft flesh was flushed, the way your thighs looked caging his frame at his hips. But his eyes really caught focus on the way your pussy was beginning to drip with wetness onto his cock. "Is this okay?" You quietly asked, leaning forward to rest your hands on either side of his head. 
"Perfect, you're perfect. It's perfect. C'mere." San reached around the best he could to pull you down to meet his lips by the back of your neck. His hands resting on either side of your face, thumbs caressing your cheeks as your tongues swirled around each other. You felt yourself relaxing, your chest pressed against his and finally seating yourself on top of his cock. San moaned, his hips bucking up quickly, the tip of his cock briefly rubbing against your bundle of nerves. You pulled away from his lips, meeting his eyes before resting your forehead on his. 
"Did you want to... you know," Your voice trailed off in a whisper. 
"Please, yes. Yes, did you-" 
"We can stay like this if that's okay with you, I really don't mind." 
"That's okay," San gulped. Suddenly feeling his nerves spike. He wasn't worried about anything other than cumming quickly. Which would be as expected, considering his circumstances. But he had some hope that he could last at least enough time to help you reach your climax. Regardless, he trusted you.
You pushed yourself up, suddenly feeling anxious. You reached down to grab at the base San's cock, lining it up with your entrance. You could feel San's eyes staring at where his cock and your pussy were able to meet. He felt heavy in your hands, each throb a reflection of his unwavering desire for you. You lowered yourself on him, your essence making it easier for you to slide down. It had obviously been a while since you had actual sex, and pleasuring yourself did not compare to the feeling of having the man you loved inside you. The tip of his cock had pushed through, you felt yourself clench around the intrusion. You and San let out a moan in unison. 
"Why- Why do I feel like I'm gonna come?" San said in a strained voice as his hands fisted the sheets, stomach tensing beneath you. 
"Just- Wait-" You breathed out, letting all your weight down on San's cock. The feeling of him stuffed fully inside of you made you feel dizzy nonetheless. San let out a long whine, he pushed himself up from the mattress to meet your body, pulling you in a tight hug. 
"I love you so much, so so much. You don't even understand." San grumbled into the crook of your neck, placing kisses along the spot where your ear and neck met. You let out a needy whine, reaching your arms around his back to embrace him as well. You moved your hips as best as you could given the current position, grinding in small circles. San pulled away, one of his hands reaching to grope at your chest. 
He leaned down, kissing along the valley of your chest that led down to your nipple. His mouth closed around the perked bud, his tongue swirling around delicately. You let out a moan, your hands reaching up to take hold of his hair, nails gently scraping against his scalp before gently tugging at the roots.
San's hands reached around you again, his nails softly scratching down against the expanse of your back before finding purchase on your ass. He gripped the flesh with firmness, pulling you down as he tried to buck up into you. The tip of his cock grazed the cervix ever so slightly, causing you to let out a sharp whine. 
"Sannie, baby, do that- do that again." That was the first time San heard you call him that. It triggered something in him, but he couldn't quite explain it. He brought your hips down again as he bucked up into you, leaning forward and clumsily capturing your lips in a kiss. 
His cock twitched inside you, it didn't take much to know that he was close. You were honestly surprised that he had held out this long but then again you two had fooled around before this so how surprising could it really have been. You pulled away from his lips, leaning in for one last peck before moving your hips with more fervor. 
"C'mon baby, I know you're close. It's okay, you can let it out."
If you had to ask San to relive one moment from his life again before he died, he'd think he'd confidently say that it'd be this moment. He actually might be dramatic, it would probably be an entirely different moment, but his mental, his senses, his heart, was so consumed with the thought of you that he was sure that if he died right now, he’d die a happy man.
There was something about the way that you always softly demanded him or guided him during these intimate moments- there was a gentleness mixed with a sternness in your demeanor that drove him insane.
He gave one last buck of his hips, the plushness of your ass jiggling slightly against his hands before he felt the tension that was in his balls release.
San held you close, his head falling on your shoulder and leaning into the crook of your neck. The loud groan being the only thing that you could hear, you felt your body shudder at the feeling of hot ropes of cum painting your gummy walls. You sat there on the bed in each other’s embrace for what felt like an eternity, San was the first to say something.
“Baby.”
You hummed, your hands rubbing up and down his back, your fingertips grazing his skin with the softest caress you could muster.
“Can I eat you out?”
“What?” You pulled away to look San in the eyes, only to find him avoiding your gaze.
“I’m serious, I know you didn’t get to… finish and I don’t really care that you know…”
You shook your head, moving to get off him to lay down. The feeling of his cock instantly slipping out of you having your pussy clench. You were stuffed full of him seed, not realizing how much he’d actually came until it began to dribble down the insides of your thighs.
You settled on your back, eyes shut from shyness.
“Fuck,” You heard San whisper as he turned his body to get a better view at you. His hands grabbed at your knees pushing them forward to your chest.
“Hold them for me.”
“No way…”
“What?”
“I still can’t believe you’re this nasty, San. Are you sure you haven’t been jukin’ me this whole time?” You let out a breathy laugh, your pussy clenching again as San’s hands massaged the back of your thighs before dragging them closer to your pussy.
He laughed with you, his pointer fingers spreading your lips open. You couldn’t help but moan, feeling his seed dribble down. 
“Say you want it,” San said, pausing his movements.
“What?”
“Say you want it- tell me how bad you want it,” San’s eyes stayed focused on the way you kept clenching around nothing.
This was definitely new, San never feigned feeling some type of way about always falling into a more submissive role during your previous intimate times together. You could confidently say this was a type of reassurance he wanted. You felt yourself gulp, eyes screwing shut once again.
“Want it…” You mumbled. Before you even had the chance to repeat yourself louder, you felt a sharp sting on your inner thigh which ignited a surprised yelp from you. You hadn’t expected the palm of his hand to meet so harshly with your skin.
“Sorry I-”
“It’s okay, San. I promise it’s okay- God, please do that again, want it so bad. Want you so fucking bad, please. Just fucking do something.”
San couldn’t understand what he was feeling, seeing your fucked out face, squirming and moaning for him to touch you. It was always him that was left to this role, and don’t get him wrong- he definitely enjoyed it. You made him feel safe and comforted, but prior to this trip when he had wondered about your previous partners and finally losing his virginity to you… he really couldn’t help but wonder how he could make you feel that same safe feeling during sex that you never failed to make him feel.
He wanted you to crave him the same way he craved you.
He quickly maneuvered himself to be eye level with your core and wasted no time in wrapping his lips around you. His tongue poked and prodded at your hole, tasting himself on his lips. He pressed his palms down into your thighs trying to spread you out the best he could as he continued to suck and lick at your most sensitive parts.
“Wait, oh fuck- Don’t stop.” You threw your head back into the mattress, you could feel your clit throbbing as you tried bucking your hips up into San’s mouth.
“Right there, you’re doing so good, baby. Right there- fuck-”
San felt his chest grow in pride, continuing to lick and prod at your clit. His tongue swirled around the overstimulated bud, he could feel your legs switching between relaxed and tensed. He pressed his tongue flat against your core, letting you grind against his face. He was determined to make you cum without his fingers.
“Oh my god- I’m gonna- Shit, I’m coming baby, I’m coming, ooh my god,” You let out a long whine, trying to shut your legs around San’s head but with no prevail. 
It happened suddenly, your orgasm crashing down and in a blink of an eye you felt one of your things being pressed open while you felt fingers enter you.
“Wha-”
“Gimme one last one, I know you can.”
Somehow San had moved to be parallel from your laying body, hovering above you as best as he could while his fingers drilled into you tight cunt.
His eyes focused on your face, the way you struggled to keep your eyes open and your eyebrows were pursed forward. There was no real rhythm to his fingers, part of him had only vaguely remembered how people fingered each other in videos. And even he knew those weren’t good examples to go off of.
“Come on, baby. I know you can cum for me one more time.”
Your mouth fell open in a silent moan, and suddenly all you could feel was San in every one of your senses. His smell, his body heat, his presence, his gaze on you… he was clouding every bit of your mental. The knot if your stomach was ready to snap, and you couldn’t even bring yourself to try and tell San that he was hitting that sweet spot. Could he even tell? You didn’t think so, but you could tell this orgasm was going to be different from all your prev-
“Look at you, holy fuck-” San began rubbing your clit quickly. “Baby, you’re fucking squirting for me.”
Your ears were ringing, and truthfully you could barely hear what San was saying. Your mind was entirely clouded, and you didn’t even have the strength to respond. Your body shuddered, and all you could muster up was weakly wrapping your arms around San and pulling him down on top of you.
“Hey, you okay?” San’s voice never failed to show his concern as he tried turning in your grasp to get a look at you.
You weakly hummed in response before speaking, trying to wrap your arms more comfortably around him.
“Feels like… feels like I’m on a cloud. Don’t want you to leave me, feels good. Here- Feels good you’re here. With me.” You rambled, fighting to keep your eyes open.
“I’m not going anywhere, baby.” San whispered, softly kissing the first piece of skin his lips could reach. He moved one of his hands to rest at your side, caressing his thumb back and forth lightly.
“Was it too much? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-” San mumbled into your skin.
“Shh.” San looked up at your face expectantly.
“I like this side of you, too, it was perfect, Sannie.”
He smiled, leaning back down to give you a swift kiss.
“You did good for me, by the way. And of course, always an overachiever…” There was a tilt to San’s voice as he spoke.
“Me? That’s definitely you, I was fine with not finishing after you came.”
“Oh really? Well, I wasn’t,” he playfully retorted.
“And this is why you’re mine, because you treat me so well,” you smiled, eyes still shut.
“And on that note, lemme get you cleaned up.”
“I don’t wanna take another shower right now, can we at least nap for a little before we do? I genuinely can’t feel my legs, I think.” 
“Fine, but I’m setting a timer for an hour. At least go pee.” San got up, his bare body facing away from you as he reached into one of his bags that was placed on one of the chairs in the corner of them. He walked back towards you, opening a package of wipes, gently wiping at the insides of your thighs as best as he could. He reached down to grab hold of your hand, tugging slightly to pull you up.
“An hour…” you echoed with a slight pout, looking back at San.
“Two at most.” You felt a content smile creeping on your face.
“Hold on, I’m gonna carry you, m’kay?” He reached hold of your back, lifting you so you could wrap your legs around his torso as he walked to the bathroom.
He placed you on the tile floor, stepping away and shutting the door behind him.
“I’m gonna strip the bed sheets, we might have to run into town to grab some detergent to wash… Lemme know when you’re about to come out though so I can grab your robe.” San’s head peaked through the door, giving you one last smile.
“Thank you.”
And with that he closed the door behind him.
-
You woke up to the alarm San had set going off and feeling insanely hot, your robe was exposing your naked body underneath and your legs were tangled with San’s.
In fact, most of his body was practically smothering yours and though you loved him dearly, you needed him to get off of you to cool down.  
You did your best to wiggle yourself free, but to no avail, San’s arms stayed holding you tightly.
“Why you trynna run away from me, huh?” San grumbled against your hair.
“I’m not running away, you’re literally a furnace.”
You tried kicking the blankets off with the little leg strength you had. San threw his leg over yours, pulling you as close as possible. Both of you fell into a fit of laughter, trying to squirm for freedom.
“San, let. Me. Go.” You laughed, pushing your body weight against him to free yourself from his hold.
“Never.”
“Please.”
“Nope.”
“You said we would only take a nap for two hours and then rinse off.”
“I know what I said.”
You laughed, eyebrows raised at his sudden sassiness.
“So since you know, let’s get up. You wanna run into town later, right?”
San hummed, his hand coming up from holding you to push your robe further off your back. His lips began softly kissing at your hot skin.
“Lemme have you one more time before we shower.” He grumbled, his lips now puckering to suck love bites against your shoulder. His hips pressed forward and you felt his cock begin to get hard against your lower back just above the swell of your ass.
“Seriously.” You moaned in disbelief, pushing your hips back to meet his. His teeth nipped at your skin, not hard enough to cause you any pain but enough to feel yourself getting aroused.
“I’ll make it quick, I promise.”
“Fine.” You huffed out, letting yourself relax your body into San’s, letting him touch you however he pleased.
San was right, he made it quick. He had his way with you while you guys spooned, thrusting his hips shallowly against your ass as he hit all your sweet spots. This vacation was definitely going to have both of you spent, and with San’s new found stamina, you were unsure if you were really going to be able to keep up.
-
It wasn’t long until you guys finally found the courage to get up and rinse off, deciding to finally make your way into town and grab a few things from the grocers.
“You said we needed detergent, yeah?” You said, pushing the cart down the aisle as San focused on items on the shelf.
“Yeah, detergent and then whatever snacks you want.”
“Snacks… okay, you want me to meet you in the frozen section?”
“That’s fine. I’mma grab some fruits and other stuff then head that way.”
You hummed, making your way to the other side of the store to select your items.
Five minutes, maybe ten at most, had passed until San finally made his way back to meet up with you. Reaching the cart, he dumped his items in.
“Ready?”
“Yeah let’s-” You stopped, eyes falling on two bottles of lube that San had thrown in with the rest of his items that consisted of sugary snacks and fruit.
“What?” He paused, waiting for you to finish. His eyes trailed down to what you were looking out before continuing, “Look you can never have too much, okay? Also, I made a promise when we first got here.”
And with that, San walked his way to the front of the store where the registers were, turning around briefly to motion you to follow before walking again.
-
When you guys had gotten back from the store, you both decided to put in a frozen pizza in the oven and ate quickly, finding refuge on the couch shortly after to relax. You guys had the bed sheets in the washer, currently laid up on the couch. The television played some movie that San had decided on, something about volleyball, you weren’t tracking too much to be quite frank.
You laid on top of San, feeling his heartbeat pound against your ear. His hands gently scratched against your back, as if he were to press any harder you’d break.
“Y/N?” San softly spoke, his hands stopping in place.
“Hmm..” Your eyes fought to stay open, exhaustion and content consuming your body after the day’s events.
“Everything was okay, yeah?” San’s voice trailed off, almost as if he felt embarrassed to even ask you. You knew what he was implying. You lifted your head to look him in the eyes.
“It was perfect. I’m glad you trust me, San. Seriously. And I’m so glad you let me love you the way you needed and let me show you how much I love you.”
San’s lips fell into a soft pout, he felt a lump in his throat. He didn’t say anything, instead he pulled you down for a tender kiss. It was sweet, there was no sexual intentions behind this one, just pure unadulterated love from the both of you.
“I love you, like a lot. Like for eternity, even.” San said as he pulled away from the kiss, smiling up at you.
“I love you for eternity, too.” You smiled back, giving him one last peck before laying your head back on his chest and succumbing to the sleepiness that slowly invaded your mind.
And the rest of your time on your vacation get-a-way was spent like that. Spending time with another, sharing affectionate moments and sweet words. San was true to his word, he took you on every surface in that house that he could defile you on. The kitchen counters, the table, the couch, the shower, even the stairs. He’d gone through a bottle and a half of lube since he had purchased it that first day there and you were more than sure the way he was fucking you, in all these different positions and with his stamina in mind, he was surely going to end up putting a baby in you.
One thing you had begun to realize about San though- well, a few things- was how he loved coming inside you and watching you push it out. As if he couldn’t wrap his head around that all of that seed was really his. Also that he really liked making you squirt- it wasn’t something you’d known before that you were capable of doing, so to have a guy who had very little sexual experience, make you do that, was truly mind-boggling.
After your vacation, you noticed your energy shift between each other for the better. San had passed his horny phase, and overall had just enjoyed being romantically intimate just as much as he enjoyed being sexually intimate. Not that he hadn’t been that way before, but it definitely felt more comfortable to express those sides of him naturally. You both brought out new sides of each other and to be able to express that so comfortably and safely was more than perfect.
Time had passed and yet another school year had finally come to an end, summer was approaching quickly.
“You heading back home for the summer?” San asked as you guys strolled along the trail that went through the campus park. His hands played with the ends of your hair as you walked, his eyes looking at you expectantly.
“Hmm, I thought about it, my lease ends right before summer starts so it at least gives me time to really think but, honestly I don’t wanna…”
“Come with me.��
“What?” You stopped walking, turning to look at San.
“I mean come with me for the summer. I’m going back home and we have a spare room if anything since my sister doesn’t live at the house anymore…” His voice trailed off as his hands removed themself from your hair, bringing them forward and stuffing them in his pockets.
“Well… I mean, are your parents okay with-”
“I already asked them… last month. And again last week, I didn’t tell them it was for sure though because I wasn’t sure how to bring it up to you but if you do decide to come, they’re okay with it and they’re super excited to meet you. No pressure though.” San chewed on his lower lip, avoiding your eyes.
You grabbed his wrists, taking his hands out of his pockets and bringing his hands to your lips, giving each one a soft kiss. Your eyes met his, and you found him looking back at you fondly with a faint blush creeping on his cheeks. He was trying hard to fight the smile that so desperately wanted to be on display for you and only you.
“Well, then. I would love to spend the summer with you and your family.” You pulled him forward to kiss his lips quickly, before pulling away and leading him down the trail of the park.
This upcoming summer was definitely going to be one to remember, and you were more than excited to spend it with the one you loved most.
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xitsensunmoon · 1 year
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Biting the Hand That Feeds au FAQ (Vampires + donor au)
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Any general content warnings for bhtf au?
Yes. A normal amount of fnaf warnings, a normal amount of vampire warnings. For someone who doesn't know I elaborate... For vampire stuff, the most obvious ones are blood, hypnosis, bites, and animalistic behaviour. Less obvious - slightly suggestive themes. For fnaf - fnaf's usual violence, dark themes, a drop of gore and murders. The lore is uh. Very dark. I will try to decrease the amount of all of the cruelty but man. People who know, know how hard it will be. But I will tag everything properly so don't worry.
Is there a fic for your au?
No. And currently, I'm not even planning on writing one.
How do I find the story?
For now, we have two comics that are directly connected and one that doesn't have a specific place in the story but is about canonical lore.
[ 1 ] - [ 2 ] - [ x ]
In future, we will have more and I probably absolutely will forget to update this post so I recommend checking the tags. Here's the tag list
Tip: don't click the tag. Tumblr hides half of the results. Type it in the blog's search instead :)
Are the comics the only canonical thing about au?
No! I answer asks and draw a lot of doodles with bhtf au all the time and 90% of them are canon. You can, yet again, find everything in the tag list linked in the previous question.
Can I draw/write fan stuff for your au?
Yes, please!! I'm always happy to see fanart and fan writings and literally everything that you do! Just tag me when you post and use a fanart or fanwriting tag for au specifically so I don't miss it!
Can you include my characters in your story?
No, unfortunately, I cannot. The story is already written and I don't have any "space" for background characters either. Maybe it will change but currently, things are like this.
I asked a question with an interaction with my characters and I never got an answer, why?
I don't accept such requests. I'm not ready to spend my time drawing other people's characters for free(if I personally don't want to, of course)
Is there any limit to how many questions I can ask?
No, not at all! You can ask all you want just please make sure your question wasn't answered before. There is a big possibility I will just simply delete it if it was answered beforehand many times. Check the ask tag for it.
What about limitations? Any boundaries?
Please no questions about tickling🧍‍♀️ I got so many of those it already makes me uncomfortable. And for some reason, a lot of people send asks that include violence towards my characters and while I don't really feel uncomfortable with this I just idk what to answer and why are you even doing this lmao
What questions I should avoid?
Well, not really avoid but I will mention it anyway.
The things I have planned to draw right now:
- Sun and Moon and y/n's first meeting
- The creation of Sun&Moon
- Why S&M are sensitive to light and darkness
- How they hunt
So no need to ask me about these. I will show it, I promise.
What about sexual themes?
I understand that I post a lot of suggestive stuff and it may appear I allow such a thing but no.
You can create content with it tho, I don't mind for the most part. Just be ready that I may not reblog it, as my Tumblr is a SFW place. It's always 50/50.
Romantic themes?
I do draw some kisses and cuddles when I feel like it and you of course can send ideas for cute interactions but in the story we're very far away from it lol.
My question gets ignored even though I followed everything that you mentioned here. Why?
Answered in main FAQ.
Can I share the ideas for your au with you?
YES!!! Yes, yes and yes! I'm very open to that, like yes! The only thing that I definitely want to mention - you should expect that I actually can take your ideas and use them. Some people are protective of their ideas so if you're like this you probably should not share them with me :)
The information that you're using for your au is wrong.
Happens sometimes yeah. I know nothing about any medical stuff for y/n so I usually improvise. After all it's an au about robotic vampires man, this information is absolutely wrong. But! You're free to drop feedback/constructive criticism in my inbox!
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Will be updated later
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hotvintagepoll · 6 months
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Propaganda
Anne Baxter (The Ten Commandments, All About Eve)—her soft, gentle voice in "all about eve", those gentle eyes with something odd behind them, the way she flips from Sweet Innocent to Viper on a dime......there was something Built Different about anne baxter, man, and it makes her so good for playing people who are Built Wrong. also one of my favorite batmen villains (her joint episode w vincent price is a delight) and of course I'm obsessed with her columbo episode where she bosses around edith head and does fabulous movie star things for no good reason. and i would be REMISS if i didn't mention her slink—oh the slink—in the ten commandments...................pardon me i must go think of sinning again
Waheeda Rehman (Chaudhvin Ka Chand, Pyaasa, Sahib Bibi Aur Ghulam)—90+ films and counting, an absolute legend of Hindi cinema. When I see her in Sahib Bibi Aur Ghulam it makes me want to chew glass
This is round 3 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]
Anne Baxter:
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The prettiest murderer in that film. Just so beautifully evil as Nefertari.
Anne Baxter was part of my Bisexual Awakening. My family has a tradition that every Palm Sunday we watch The ten commandments on TV together... And starting from a very young age, I essentially developed a crushes on Anne Baxter's Nefertiri & Yul Brynner's Ramses. Dude, the woman was HOT! They both were! My crush definitely wasn't helped by the fact that Anne Baxter's costumes were a bit on the sheer side. She had a way of capturing you with her eyes, and I never understood why Charlton heston's Moses didn't just have a threesome with Nefertiri and Ramses. LOL
Her Nefertiri in The Ten Commandments was FORMATIVE TO ME. If not the hottest old movie lady, then she definitely played the hottest old movie character. if that makes sense.
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Look. Listen. I only *just* discovered her on a post from the Have You Seen This Romcom poll blog. Saw she had the same last name as me and went OOH hi hello. Went to her IMdB and saw she was born in Indiana like moi. I am now even more intrigued. Been eagerly telling my partner this, and he was like "maybe you guys are distantly related?" And after 2 hrs of going down the tumblr tag + her imdb photos, I'm In Deep(tm) and I can't stop looking at her like 😍 When I go to my grandma's house, bet your ass I'm gonna check my grandpa's genealogy and see if we're somehow related. Sorry that's not really propaganda I just got real excited, esp when I saw that the submission deadline was extended (bless your soul). Narrowing down the movies where she's hottest in was Hell tyvm. I've only just discovered her, she looks gorgeous to me in every movie still I see of her gdi lol.
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Waheeda Rehman propaganda:
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myownwholewildworld · 1 month
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wherever you go (a joel miller’s ff) - chapter 6
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chapter 5 | series masterlist | main masterlist | chapter 7
pairing: outbreak!2003!joel x f!reader. (it's actually 2004 now)
summary: after months in the wilderness, you finally arrive at chicago. adapting to this new life has its cons, but also its perks. joel's birthday is around the corner, and you have planned for a couple of things you hope he likes...
a/n: hiya! here's chapter six!! it's packed with a bit of everything, especially drama because why not? 🤷 i want to thank you all ― i just realised that the first 3 chapters have hit over 100 notes each! i'm so damn grateful to all of you, honestly. as much as i'm writing for myself, i'm loving how hooked some of you are with this story 😳 also, i'd like to apologise in advance if i have butchered chicago's layout or its history, i did try my best doing some research. as always, thank you all for engaging. i do appreciate any comments, reblogs and/or likes you may want to leave! even asks/requests if you want to! take care lovelies <3 x
warnings: 18+, mdni. mention of Sarah's death. angst. fluff. filthy smut (don't you know me by now?). porn with plot or plot with porn (however you wanna look at it). irresponsible use of contraception (don't do that). consensual somnophilia. dry humping. unprotected piv. masturbation (m and f). creampie. pussy slapping. fisting. squirting. cum play. a bit of assplay. makeup sex. sir kink. “bar” fight. alcohol consumption. blood. stabbing. swear words. mention of past racist events and the precursor to the chicago race riot of 1919. soft!dom!joel. a bit of aftercare. pet names (darlin’, sweetheart). i'm sure i'm forgetting something lol. reader is female, no other description given. reader is mid-late 20s, joel is now 37 (🎉!). no use of y/n.  joel’s and reader’s pov.
w/c: ~6.9k.
tags (let me know if you want to be added/removed from the list pls!): @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @pedrospurplerain @missladym1981 @fancyyoouu @smolbeanzzz
Chicago was definitely not what you had expected at all. Shit had gone down really badly in this place. It took you a week to cross the southwest area, keeping close to Interstate 55 as a reference. The worst you had seen was Chicago Midway International Airport. Airplanes had crashed on the runway, the esplanade was a makeshift cemetery even almost a year after Outbreak Day. Bodies piled on top of each other, fires would break out in the adjacent buildings. The control tower was completely dilapidated. And the grounds were full of clickers.
Tommy, Joel and you made it through the worst neighbourhoods. As you covered more miles, Tommy and Joel realised that this had not been the best idea. But you were already there, so the best option was to move forward. You all had to defend yourselves, and each other. Although the Miller brothers took out many attackers ―humans and infected alike―, you also had your good share of action. You didn’t like it, but you were good at shooting. Your clothes were stained with blood and sweat. You endured, and you survived. That was what mattered.
The whole city was in shambles, divided by two different groups: the government and the rebels. The government held the north side of the Chicago River, from River North Gallery District all the way to Old Town ― basically everything to the east of Interstate 90. The rebels, on the other hand, controlled the south ― all the movable bridges along the whole Wacker Drive, from New Eastside to Chinatown. Anything further south or north, and between Interstates 55 and 90, from Little Village to Naperville, was no man’s land.
You ended up on the rebels’ side randomly. Tommy was not very happy about it, blaming the communists for overpowering the government, but it wasn’t like you had a choice. If you tried to cross any bridge to go northwards, you would be shot at with no warning. From both sides.
It took a while to convince the Rioters ― that was how the rebels called themselves. Two weeks later, on the 20th of August, you were given a place to stay near the Art Institute of Chicago, which was also the operations base. You did try to integrate yourself in this society as you knew it was better to have more friends than foes. The Millers, however, kept to themselves ― Joel more than Tommy, as you had expected. No surprises there.
The flat you were in was in urgent need of repairs but was better than sleeping rough. You and Joel fixed as many things as you both could, while Tommy took cleaning very seriously. It wasn’t much, but it was the place you called home for the last month. The only downside was that it only had two bedrooms, so Joel and you sadly had to share the only double bed available, while Tommy had his own room.
You wouldn’t lie to yourself ― the last four weeks had been pure bliss in a sense. Waking up every day besides Joel had become a delightful habit. He had awakened you many a times either in the middle of the night or in the early morning to give him a hand. Literally. And you had done exactly the same thing when you had needed it. You were sure Tommy was sick and tired of you two, but you didn’t care.
You stretched out, still lying in bed. The morning light had not come through the curtains yet, but it soon would. You rubbed your eyes and then let your arms drop to your sides dramatically. You were not a morning person, but your sleeping schedule was all fucked up. You rolled to your other side in an attempt to get comfortable.
Joel was sleeping on his right side. You had noticed he usually did in the same position. When you had asked him why, he had explained his hearing in his right ear was messed up since his suicide attempt. You wished you could have been faster that day to prevent the gun from going off. Ah, the regrets you both had…
His back was towards you, him facing the door. Despite the repairs you all had done to the flat, it was still not the safest. Every night one of you would make sure all locks were engaged and would bar the front door. A few days ago, someone attempted to break in. Since then, all of you would sleep with a firearm nearby.
Today was Sunday ― 26th of September. Which meant it was Joel’s birthday, as well as the first anniversary of Outbreak Day. The anniversary of Sarah's death would be tomorrow too. You had tried to talk to Joel about today, but he didn’t seem to be interested in celebrating at all, which you completely understood. As much as you wanted to do something, you respected his decision. You had only planned for a couple of low-key things, which you hoped he wouldn’t mind.
He had fallen asleep only with his briefs on, the bedsheet draping around his legs. You couldn’t see, but you were damn sure he had his arms crossed at his chest, always on guard. Your eyes dwelled on his upper body, two perfect dimples on his lower back. His shoulders were broad and toned, his waist smaller. He was not the most muscular guy you had ever seen, but he was perfect the way he was. His calloused hands had shown you multiple times how good he was for you, despite what he thought of himself.
You couldn’t resist, your mouth dry. Your fingertips traced the curve of his neck, then his left shoulder down to his elbow. Your hand caressed his left hip and slipped down to his front, following his V line. Your fingers touched the elastic of his briefs ― and something else.
You gulped down the knot in your throat, your heart beating harder in your chest, when your fingertips brushed over the damp tip of his cock. Joel’s morning wood was so prominent, his glans had slipped out of his underwear and was showing. You wetted your lips as you stroked him carefully. A deep, almost guttural growl flowed from Joel’s chest.
You got closer to him in bed, your nipples grazing the skin on his back even through your pyjamas. It probably wasn’t the best time ― you knew he was tired, but you wanted him so badly. Liquid fire was pooling in your furrow, knowing his erection was right there for you to play with.
Your internal battle didn’t last long.
You pulled down his briefs to free his warm dick. You didn’t need to look to know his shaft was resting against his happy trail, the head touching his belly button. With no hesitation, you wrapped your fingers around his cock, squeezing him delicately. Then you slid your hand down his meaty column, holding him firmly, in a very slow but strong pump.
He groaned, still asleep as far as you could tell, as you started pumping him ― more heat and excitement gathering in your pussy. You dunked your fingers in your panties, touching yourself. You were already wet, the mere thought of making him yours was enough. You kissed his left shoulder at the same time he uncrossed his arms ― his left hand over yours, feeling the rhythm you were imparting on him.
He was awake.
Joel didn’t remember what he was dreaming about, but he was sure it wasn’t this. When he looked down and saw your tiny hand trying to muffle his cock, he closed his eyes with a sigh. That felt damn good. He was knackered after last night’s patrolling shift, but this was exactly what he needed to decompress.
He turned around, his back flat against the uncomfortable mattress. His eyes were pinned on yours, your sweet hand upping the speed. You leaned towards him and invaded his mouth with your devilish tongue. Joel moaned in the middle of the kiss ― his brain completely switched off. He could not think straight when you were handling him like that.
Quickly letting go of his erection and mouth, you got rid of your pyjama shorts and your underwear. Then you doubled down your efforts with the handjob ― his throbbing cock was calling for you. You could see a few drops of precum sliding off his veiny shaft, which you swiftly gathered with your thumb to rub them against his leaking slit. You felt his dick pulsating hard for you ― your cunt palpitating at exactly the same time, anticipating. Your bodies were fully synchronised.
You then climbed on top of him, his balls welcoming the touch from your puffy lips. You rolled your hips against his, looking for that friction you so much loved, and took a deep breath before taking off the top of your pyjamas, throwing it to one side. You bended down, your mouth looking for his, so thirsty.
“Good morning, handsome”, you whispered as a greeting.
“Mhmmm”, was the only thing he managed to hum, sleepy.
You smiled and broke off the contact, straightening your back. His rough hands slid from your knees, across your thighs, to your butt. He clasped your ass cheeks with assertiveness. With no more words than those, you took his steely cock in your hand and lifted your hips. You glided his glans over your damp fold a few times, your cunt beseeching to be stuffed.
You guided his tip to kiss your entrance and descended on his dick slowly, very slowly, the palms of your hands flat against his lower abdomen to steady yourself. You closed your eyes, head tilted backwards, and whined loudly. Each inch was a blessing. Once his cock was entirely inside of you, you peeked back down at him and did a circular motion with your hips. His eyes were so intense you couldn’t look away while you started riding him.
Joel closed his eyes unwillingly when the muscles in his lower belly cramped. He didn’t want to miss a single second of this, so forced himself to open them again ― he loved seeing how the pleasure transformed your beautiful features. Your half-lidded eyes, your lips parted, a river of pearly sweat coming down in between your bosom. Your perfectly round breasts bouncing in front of him. He was a lucky bastard.
He liberated your ass, his hands drifting to your bust, holding your tits. While he kneaded that tender flesh and coddled your nipples, you covered his hands with yours. You were still jumping on top of him, albeit more erratically, as you felt an orgasm hit you with full force. You mewled as your needy pussy discharged the seed of your pleasure all over him, hugging his hard erection, strangling his cock, encouraging him to come with you.
Joel was so damn close to coming, his nuts contracted with equal parts of pain and lust. He could feel your gush soaking his dick. He was about to lose his goddamn mind ― he needed to stop. His hands abandoned your breasts to place them on your butt to help you lift it up, so you would release his cock before it was too late.
“No, it’s okay. Fill me up, please, sir”, you wailed, your palms against his chest, your hips grinding against his.
Joel glimpsed at you with doubt. It was like you could read his mind, because you knew what he was thinking. You smiled softly, your wet pussy palpitating around his cock. You forced your inner walls to contract against him as you leaned forward to kiss him.
“I’ve got the morning after pill. Please, please, Joel, come inside, I beg you. Trust me”, you wept, laying down on top of him.
He thought himself mad for believing you, but he did. Because he was mad for you, regardless of what he tried to convince himself of. He lifted your butt up off his lap with his hands ― with the help of his legs, the heels of his feet against the bedsheets, he thrusted into you like a madman while you remained still on top of him. Drilling your weeping cunt, as hard and fast as he could. He just wanted to know how it felt just once; he wanted you to milk him dry.
Joel fucked you like there was no tomorrow, the room echoing with the squishy sounds and the impact of flesh on flesh. He was fucking you so hard that you came again at the same time he spilled his spent in you ― Joel groaned like you never heard him before. The slick warmth you felt inside made you smile, your face buried in the curve of his neck, your nipples brushing his. With his pulsing dick still inside of you, you bit the skin on his neck, leaving a mark behind.
“Happy birthday, sir”, you whispered in his ear.
That was your gift to him. And to yourself, because you had wanted this from the very first time he impaled you in the forest. You had had to trade a few bits for the morning after pill, but it was worth every single one of them. You felt your cave so clogged with him and his cum, you thought you had descended to hell.
You both stilled, catching your breaths. His dick was still twitching, housed by your greedy, soaked cunt.
A minute later, he sat up on the bed, bit your mouth and lifted your butt up, his cock becoming free. He quickly laid you down in fetal position ― resting on your righthand side, back slightly curved, head bowed, your knees bent touching your breasts. He placed a hand on your left hip and tilted your pelvis a bit forward, so he could inspect your heart-shaped ass and your puffy, reddened pussy framed by your inner thighs.
Just in time to see his cum gushing out of your hole, dripping across your perineum and then going downwards, skidding through your butt cheek. One of his digits caught the semen before it hit the bedsheets, retraced its steps back and shoved the cum back inside of you with the push of his finger.
“You can’t waste my gift to you, baby, it’d be so fucking rude of you”, he purred in your ear, his voice coarse and warm at the same time.
He laid on his side behind you, moving his index in a circular motion, looking for your g-spot and finding it. He stroked it dextrously, sliding it in and out slowly. You closed your eyes, and fisted the bedsheet in your hand, trying to hold onto something. Your mouth shaped a perfect ‘O’ when he bottomed out, quickly adding a second finger. And a third. Then a fourth.
It didn’t take long for your pussy to adjust to such delightful intrusion ― your inner walls felt like clay, reshaping around him. Joel could feel you relax around his fingers and took the chance, introducing his thumb in your pussy too. Now his entire hand was buried in your fluttering cunt, down to his wrist. He remained still for a hot minute while your muscles loosened up to house him.
Then he slowly started to pump his fist inside of you, back and forth, building up a steady pace. Joel bit your shoulder and then kissed it ― his tongue tasting the saltiness of your sweat.
By that point you couldn’t stop moaning very loudly ― the whole building was probably listening to your whoring screams as Joel fisted you relentlessly with his whole hand. Each push propelling his cum further inside of you as if he wanted it to take. He was thrusting you so harsh, your entire body was rocking back and forth on the bed. He was fucking you senseless just with his hand ― and you were loving every single second of it.
Your sticky cunt couldn’t take it for much longer ― it was wet, pulsating, contracting, overstimulated, yearning… Your pussy literally was his, and only his. The orgasm had been building up for so long now that when you let it go, weeping at the top of your lungs, it hit you like a motherfucking truck. Your whole body went into shock while you squirted ― you were shaking due to the force of your own release. For fuck’s sake, you could barely breathe.
You whimpered again when he removed his hand and rubbed your wetness all over your delicate folds. Before you could form a coherent thought, he spanked you on your crotch so firmly it tingled ― you almost died and went to heaven right there and then, biting into the pillow underneath your head. He kept on slapping your quivering cunt until your sensitive clit twitched one last time with devastating pleasure, contracting your uterus so the last trickle of cum oozed out of you. He caught it with his thumb and brushed it gently against your asshole, caressing the tight ring, until you fully relaxed.
You sighed, unable to move. You even felt dizzy. Your limbs felt so limp you didn’t think you could sit up, so you just stayed there, melting against the bedsheets. You hadn’t realised your eyes had welled up until a few tears ran down your cheeks. Tears of complete, utter joy ― there was no other way of describing it.
You were so damn grateful for this man, you swore to yourself you would never let him go. You had been with others, but none of your sexual partners had been so fucking attentive. Joel would always make sure you were completely satisfied, without fail. And that said a lot about him.
You rolled onto your back to look at him, wiping away the tears with a satisfied smile and dreamy eyes. He was still lying down on his side, his elbow against the bed, his head resting on the palm of his hand. He returned your smile ― such gesture transforming his rugged face. So gorgeous it tugged at your heart.
“Y’know, it was supposed to be all the way around today ― me fucking you until you begged”, you confessed, although it was not a complaint.
He grinned, his hand possessively cupping your mound. You parted your legs slightly so he could massage your sensitive furrow. It felt so calming after all that pussy-slapping he gifted you with.
“As redundant as it sounds, plans rarely go according to plan, sweetheart”.
Understatement of the fucking year, you thought.
You just laughed while his hand was still kneading your sticky flaps. Joel kissed your forehead before he took out his hand from in between your legs, your damp, intimate skin being swept by the cold air.
“The morning after pill?”, he asked a minute later.
“I got it from Kelsey, it’s in date. Don’t panic, it’s okay. I have three days to take it. Which made me think… I don’t need to do it straight away, right?”, you glanced up at him, a wide smile on your lips.
“Mhmm, I mean, it would be a waste otherwise, I guess”, he replied, tucking a stray hairlock behind your ear. “But I need a minute here, darlin’. You work miracles, but even I have limits. Wait up”, he mumbled grumpily as he palmed his left wrist, and then got out of bed while he tucked away his member back in his briefs.
Joel headed towards the en-suite bathroom. He came back out only a few seconds later ― you could see panic in his eyes. You sat back up on the mattress quickly.
“What is it, Joel?”, you asked with worry, kneeling on the bed.
“My wristwatch, I can’t find it. I am sure I left it by the sink before I came to bed last night. I can’t lose it. I can’t”, he was now frantically searching his bedside table, panic growing in his tone.
You bit down your lip, because you knew where it was. In the drawer of your nightstand. You had taken it in the middle of the night because your second present was getting it repaired for him today.
“I have it”, you whispered, shrugging with an apologetic smile.
“What? Why?”, he approached you, extending his hand towards you, his tone so serious. “Give it back now”, he almost growled at you.
His reaction took you completely off guard. Why was he so possessive over a broken watch? Trying to understand the sudden change in Joel, you opened the drawer and took it out.
“I just wanted to get it fixed for you, as a gift”, you didn’t understand what was happening.
“You have not fixed it, have you?! Because if you have―”, he snatched it off your hand, inspecting it.
You frowned ― his attitude towards you was completely off. What the hell was going on?
“Don’t you dare touch my fucking things, is that clear?”, he snapped.
You looked at him blankly, speechless. Then your own temperament started to shimmer under the surface.
“Wow, wow, wow ― Calm the fuck down, Joel. It’s just a broken, useless watch―”, you stopped yourself because of his perplexed look.
“Shut up. It’s not just any watch. You don’t fucking understand”, he yapped.
“I would try and understand if you just fucking explained it to me?!”, you shouted at him while you got dressed. “What is your fucking problem, Joel? What’s up with that watch? I don’t read minds!”.
“Forget it”, he grumbled, strapping the watch to his wrist before putting his trousers on and grabbing a T-shirt, heading towards the door.
“That’s it? You just up and leave?”, you repressed the urge of throwing a pillow to his head.
“I’ve got stuff to do”, he muttered.
A few seconds later, you heard him opening the front door. Then he slammed it shut.
It was around lunchtime now and you had not seen Joel since this catastrophic morning. While you had the impression that Joel’s reaction was due to something he would not speak about, he had no fucking right to treat you that way. You were just trying to do something nice for him, that was all.
You walked through the main hallway of the Art Institute of Chicago. It was rammed with people running around ― some armed, some not. You didn’t think that humanity would prevail in big groups in such circumstances, but it did.
The Rioters had established some sort of order. People had tasks to do, everyone working together to build up a community. Chores were allocated according to people’s skills. Joel had been put on patrolling shifts, Tommy was helping with carpentry and other building jobs, and you were in the hunting group. As much as you hated pulling the trigger, you were a very good shot. All thanks to your good old Texan father.
You were on your way to check with the group if there were any plans of going out today when you got interrupted.
“Hey”, someone tapped you on the shoulder.
“What’s up, Joyce?”, you looked at the older woman when you turned around.
Joyce was around fifty five years of age, maybe more, and was the kindest soul you had ever met. She had welcomed you to Chicago like a mother a daughter. Joyce showed you around, explained how the Rioters worked and guided you in the right direction. Because as good as everything looked, there was still darkness lurking around.
She was also the best cook ever. Like, no jokes, she could transform a tasteless rabbit in the most flavourful stew your tastebuds had ever been in contact with.
“I just finished cooking, do you want some stew?”, she asked with a warm smile.
Your stomach growled at the mere idea.
“Fuck yeah”, you replied ― your duties could wait, surely.
“Watch your language, kiddo”, Joyce reprimanded you.
“Sorry, sorry”, all that time you spent with Joel was showing.
You followed her to the canteen and patiently waited for Joyce to pour some stew in a bowl. You then went with her to a table where more people were sat down. You didn’t know any of them, so Joyce introduced you. You were damn sure you weren’t going to remember one single name by the time you walked out the door.
“So, you’ve never heard the story of Eugene Williams?”, one of the men asked rhetorically to a younger fellow across the table, who shook his head in reply. “He was a black kid in 1919, when racial segregation was still in place here in Chicago. The summer of 1919 was so hot the kid wandered off to the white side of Chicago beach without realising. A man threw stones at him until the kid drowned and died. That was what ignited the Chicago Race Riot of 1919 ― and why we, the resistance, go by the Rioters”.
You listened to every word while you ate your meal. After hearing that explanation, many things made sense. Although they named themselves the Rioters, there were no riots in the streets ― actually, people seemed happy here, given the circumstances.
“That’s right, Walter, younger people need to learn about the past, so those mistakes are never repeated again”, said Joyce.
The conversation then moved on to present times, the people talking about the continuous fight against the so-called government.
Joel got the afternoon patrolling shift that day, which he thought was a killer, considering he did the night shift last night. But it was good in a sense ― it would keep his mind occupied. You had angered him so much this morning, it had set his mood for the rest of the day. The thought of you erasing that memory had maddened him so bad, he had to walk out before he said something he would later regret.
That watch was the only anchor chaining him to what little remained of his humanity. A gentle reminder of what could have been but wasn’t. Every day he wondered how Sarah would be doing in this new world. And most days, he was just somewhat grateful she wasn’t here to see what had become of civilisation. The unspeakable horrors she would have witnessed and suffered but didn’t ― it was very little consolation to a father, but it was better than nothing.
He absentmindedly touched the watch on his wrist, ensuring it was properly fastened.
Joel was stationed with other people in front of Bataan-Corregidor Memorial Bridge. In those long, never-ending hours, there was no activity on the other side of the bridge, but they had to remain vigilant nonetheless. By the time the next group showed up, it was already half eight in the evening.
Joel headed towards the headquarters to sign off and go home. He was already on edge, thinking about what he would say to you to appease you. Because he was damn sure you would be waiting for him, ready to pick up the fight where you both left it. As Joel walked past the canteen, he heard a familiar voice.
Tommy was on his feet, yelling at a man, his accusatory index pointing to the guy. Joel rolled the eyes to the back of his head ― he was sure his brother was so drunk he would probably not remember any of this the next day. Joel shook his head with disappointment ― some things would never change, not even when the world had gone to shit.
He planned to ignore the situation and get back home to you, when a fight started. Joel groaned in despair, debating what to do. But a man chose for him ― he saw how a bloke approached Tommy from behind, knife on hand, and he knew he had to do something. Joel quickly closed the distance in stride and grabbed the man from the neck of his shirt, pulling him backwards until the dude stumbled with his own feet.
Madness broke out, the whole canteen becoming a battling ground. People were fighting each other over absolutely nothing, throwing punches in the air.
“Tommy!”, he shouted angrily, while the younger Miller turned around and simply smiled.
That fucking pissed him off big time.
“Are you fucking out of your mind? How much have you been drinking?!”, Joel wanted to punch his brother so bad, he really had to control himself.
“Not enough”, he babbled.
As Joel approached his brother, ready to fight him if necessary, the man he had pushed away from Tommy tapped his shoulder. When Joel turned around, the dude punched him in the face and then stabbed him in the lower stomach.
Joel froze for a second, his back slightly curved, his brain coming to terms with what just had happened. He looked down while his hand gripped the handle of the knife. He knew not to remove it because it was the blade what prevented him from bleeding out. Then Joel glanced back up at the same guy and, without thinking, he removed the knife from his flesh and sticked it on the man’s shoulder with a growl.
Joel’s wound started to bleed like a pig in a slaughterhouse. Not that he noticed anyway, because hell literally broke loose.
It wasn’t late late, only ten in the evening, but none of the brothers was around when you returned home, which was weird. You could understand if Joel was avoiding you, but Tommy? You frowned as you called for them, shutting the main door behind you. Nothing, no reply at all.
Before you could walk to the living room to see if there was a note or something, someone knocked on the door.
You looked through the peephole. Joyce was standing outside, worry wrinkling her aged face. You opened the door.
“What’s the matter, Joyce?”
“It’s Joel, he’s in the infirmary”, she whispered while placing a soft hand on your forearm.
You just stared at her, bewildered.
“Huh? The where?”, you repeated, while her words started to sink in, your stomach contracting with fear.
“Come with me, kiddo”, Joyce took your hand, guiding you through the apartment building.
The next time you blinked, you were in an outbuilding outside the headquarters. Joyce palmed your hand with hers, in a calming gesture, while she took you to the far end of the shelter. The old lady planted you in front of Joel’s bed, and let go of you with a “take care”.
You stood there for a long minute, still trying to grasp what the hell had happened. He was asleep, his head slightly tilted away from you ― or so you hoped he was. Joel had no shirt on, a bloody bandage covering the right side of his abdomen. You got closer, your heart pounding in your throat.
“He’s fine, it’s just a scratch”, you looked up, befuddled.
Tommy was sitting in a plastic chair on the other side of the bed. He was crouching forwards, his elbow against his knee, head pressing against the palm of his hand. Tommy then smiled, which completely perplexed you.
You were about to reply, but suddenly Joel did instead.
“Fuck off, Tommy. Get your ass somewhere else”, he gritted his teeth.
You hadn’t noticed it yet, but you had been holding your breath, because suddenly you felt a stone being lifted off your chest. You glanced at the younger Miller, who had gotten up with a smile. When he walked past you to go outside, you smelled it. The stench of alcohol made you wrinkle your nose unconsciously.
Joel wrapped his fingers around your wrist to get your attention, so you turned around to look at him, so confused you couldn’t even form a sentence. Joel had already adjusted the pillow on his back so he could be somewhat sat up.
“It’s alright, no need to cry”, he said raising one of his hands to sweep away your tears.
You had not realised you were crying. Giving it a second thought, you probably had been since you left home. You pursed your lips and nodded, quietening your sobs.
“What…?”, you muttered, resting your cheek against his palm before placing a kiss on it.
“Tommy got into a fight in the canteen. He’s so drunk he probably won’t remember a thing tomorrow. A man tried to stab him, and I got in the way ― that’s all, sweetheart. No serious damage, just some stitches”, he tried to calm you.
You wished Tommy was still in the room, because you would have loved to slap the shit out of him for being so irresponsible. What the hell was he thinking? Joel was hurt because of him, and he had just left smiling as if it wasn’t so serious.
“Just leave him be, it’s worthless trying to speak to him in such a state”, something in Joel’s voice told you this wasn’t the first time he had been in this situation.
“Are you sure you’re fine? Joel, please, don’t lie to me―”, you mustered, trying to keep your tears in check, as you caressed his cheek.
He heavily sighed as he scooted over to one end of the tiny bed, leaving enough space for you to join him. You got on the gurney quickly, nestling against him, your arm across his chest in a half embrace. His body heat calmed your nerves a bit, although your hands were still shaking.
“I’m fine, I’m not lying. They won’t let me leave yet though, the nurse said I need to stay here for a couple of hours, until she’s certain the bleeding has stopped”, he explained, his fingertips tracing the shape of your right shoulder.
“I’m not going anywhere”, you said with a small voice, your left cheek against his chest.
Joel didn’t fight you on that, so you stayed by his side. His left hand was resting just below your face, his broken watch strapped around his wrist. You bowed your head a bit and kissed his knuckles.
“I’m sorry about this morning, I thought fixing your watch was a nice thing to do, considering it’s been broken since I met you”, you tried to explain yourself, but Joel hushed you by cupping your chin so your eyes would meet his.
“You have nothing to be sorry about. I know you meant well. It’s just…”, you heard him gulp down, as if the next words were extremely painful to say out loud. “Sarah fixed this watch for me on my last birthday. It’s been stuck at 2.40 AM since… since we both got shot. One of the bullets broke it”, he recounted in a husked voice, his brown eyes focused on the timeless sphere.
Then it hit you. That was Sarah’s time of death. And, unknowingly, you almost ruined the last memento Joel possessed of his daughter. His most precious treasure. You felt sick to your stomach at the mere idea of being responsible for such a thing. Had you known, you would have never even considered doing what you had planned.
“Gosh, Joel, I’m sorry. I swear to you I didn’t know”, you breathed out desperately.
“I know, baby. I should have told you that instead of getting angry and for that I apologise, but I just couldn’t…”, he clenched his jaw, and you tried to soften his expression with the touch of your fingers.
“Don’t apologise, please”, you kissed his bearded jaw and remained in comfortable silence for the next two hours, until Joel was finally discharged.
The next day you both stayed home. Tommy had tried to apologise when he came back to his senses, but Joel was having none of it. The younger Miller eventually understood that his brother just needed space until he decided to forgive him and gave up in his efforts. You were alone with Joel all day, making sure he was okay and helping him clean the wound. Those stitches were going to leave a nasty scar on him, but it was better than the alternative. It was healing well, no signs of infection, for which you were so pleased ― probably more than him. You almost had to tie him to the bed so he would stop fidgeting around ― Joel was going to get the wound open again if he didn’t remain still for a bit.
You knew Joel was just trying to keep his brain busy because this day marked a year since Sarah was wrongly snatched from his life. That was why he was so taciturn and quiet today, and you let him be for the most part.
When he sat down on the couch in the afternoon, you just nestled against his body, in silence, his arm affectionately enveloping you.
Nighttime came around soon enough, and you both got into bed. Joel spooned you as soon as he laid down behind you, his right arm hugging you, his chest against your back. You soon fell asleep in his warm embrace, feeling protected and content.
Joel woke up a few hours later, one of his recurrent nightmares haunting him. He grumbled in displeasure and got out of bed to change the dressing over the wound. He did so efficiently and returned to bed, slipping under the bedsheets quietly.
Another hour went by, and he was still awake, his eyes on the ceiling.
He rolled onto his left side and saw you sleeping peacefully, in the exact same position you fell asleep. You had not moved one inch. Joel smiled softly as he got closer to you, sliding his arm around your waist and dragging you over to him, looking for your soothing warmth.
Unconsciously, you wiggled your hips to bury your butt in his bulge, and Joel contained a pitiful moan. Your perfectly round ass was innocently embedded in his groin. Now he was sure as hell he was not going to be able to fall back asleep. Irremediably, he pressed his manhood against your buttocks again, looking for that friction.
Joel felt his cock tense up, an erection taking hold. He freed his manhood, slowly pumping himself ― his leaky tip brushing your asscheek until a wet patch adorned your panties. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t resist. You were all curled up, drooling on the pillow, faintly snoring, your knees slightly bent. He cut the distance between you and shoved his dick in your thigh gap, his shaft rubbing against your pussy covered by your underwear.
Sweat gathered on his brow as he rocked his pelvis back and forth, your thighs sweetly compressing his cock ― the tip feeling cold when it overhung on the other side. Joel kissed your shoulder, his hand gently placed on your hip to steady himself.
“C’mon, baby, wake up”, he husked near your ear, gently nibbling your earlobe.
You hummed, half awake. You felt your body being rocked, your eyes fluttering open and looking downwards. Through half-lidded eyes, you saw Joel’s glans sticking out through your thigh nook, then disappearing from sight to reappear again. You smiled pleasantly, shutting your eyes, as you felt your needy cunt melt for him. You pursed your lips with delight.
“Can I have my birthday present again, sweetheart?”, he whispered in a constrained tone.
You nodded, scatterbrained.
You were drenching your underwear so bad, there was a visible damp, darken spot right in the middle. Joel pulled back from in between your legs and pushed the bridge of your panties to one side. He lodged his cock in between your puffy lips, sliding it through your entire slit a couple of times to douse himself with your fluids.
“You’re soaking wet, baby”, he muttered as you let out a soft moan when Joel pressed his tip against your dripping hole, your flesh parting as the Red Sea.
Then Joel slowly pushed his hard cock in inch by inch down to his balls. His right arm hugged you, poising you in place and sneaking his hand under your pyjama top to hold one of your full breasts. He stilled for a second, feeling your cunt sheathing him like a warm glove. He thrusted once, twice, thrice. You lost count after that, Joel plunging into you from behind, gaining erratic speed. You grasped the bedsheet in your fist, your spit pooling on the pillowcase.
You placed a hand on your mound and a few seconds later, you slipped it under your panties. With the palm against your clit to cause some grinding, you could feel Joel coming in and out of you in between your index and middle fingers. Your gushing cunt started palpitating around his slick cock, your inner walls squeezing him hard as you came, mewling like a kitten in heat.
Joel quickly followed you, his cum filling you up, breathing roughly behind you. You tilted your head towards your right to look at him over your shoulder. He kissed you, first gently, then more demanding, while his dick was still throbbing with the last wave of his release. Joel pinched your nipple before freeing your mouth.
“There you go, sweetheart, so you don’t forget who you and your tight pussy belong to”, he groaned as he pulled out of you.
“Thank you, sir”, you said gratefully.
Joel put your underwear back in place and pressed the palm of his hand against your wet panties, his cum trickling out with yours and swamping the piece of clothing even more, saturating it, almost as if you had pissed yourself.
“Go back to sleep, darlin’”, he kissed the nape of your neck, his hand still lodged in your thigh gap, hard pressed against your satisfied, clothed pussy. You loved how possessive he was of you, literally claiming your cunt for himself at every chance he got.
With a pleased sigh, you tucked your hands under your head and fell back asleep within seconds.
The earth was round again.
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