#(this is also how i got to know bee 300 years ago

[nidhi-writes]

Thiruvilaiyadal - Part 1

As a movie buff, one of my core memory is seeing old classical Tamil films with my Amma. She made sure I saw all of her favorites and some of the 60s/70s classics.

Every summer holiday is filled with stories of old Tamil Puranas from my Appa and asking all the pieces of information and questions. And my interest in the Tamil language grew as I become older and thanks to all my Thamizh teachers who made the class so interesting with all the Tamil literature at school.

Everyone around me used to ask why I am into Puranas and literature when the modern world is thriving outside, but all I know was that my soul wanted more and more.

One such moment which captured my heart throughout was the movie 'Thiruvilaiyadal'.

Thiruvilaiyadal (Leelas in Sanskrit) is viewed to be one of the 18 thalapuranas. It is also revered as one of the Mahapuranas (Periya Puranam – the right eye of Shiva, Thiruvilaiyadal Puranam – the left eye, and Kanda Purana – the third eye). It was authored by Saint Paranjothi, estimated 300 years ago. It narrates the 64 Tiruvilayadals, loosely translated as the "playful miracles of god (Shiva) himself".

One such Thiruvilaiyadal of the god Siva was with Nakkeranar or Nakkerar. Nakkerar was a Post Sangam Tamil poet who wrote Thirumurukāṟṟuppaṭai.

The below poem is part of Kurunthogai, which was written by Irayyanar( God Shiva himself)

கொங்குதேர் வாழ்க்கை அஞ்சிறைத் தும்பி காமம் செப்பாது கண்டது மொழிமோ பயிலியது கெழீஇய நட்பின் மயிலியல் செறியெயிற் றரிவை கூந்தலின் நறியவும் உளவோ நீயறியும் பூவே Translation: O! Honey bee with beautiful wings, you live drinking nectar from selected flowers, tell me without bias look at my friend who resembles a peacock in beauty have you seen any flower that smells better than her hair?

The story goes as when ShenbagaPandiyan had a doubt regarding the scent of female hair and announced whoever clarify that doubt through poem/the best will be awarded 1000 gold coins. Dharumi was a poor poet who struggles for money went to lord shiva for help, lord Siva came in the guise of a poet and helped him with this poem. The king was happy that it solved his doubt as it says the women have naturally scented hair.

Scene 1: Siva introduces himself as a Tamil poet. Scene 2: Dharumi doubts him and asks God Siva who is in disguise questions to prove his knowledge.

Scene 4: Dharumi apologizes for doubting God's knowledge Scene 5: Dharumi gets the poem from god Siva and goes to present it before Pandya king.

When he was about to be awarded the Nakkerar the head poet of the Tamil Sangam stopped him, saying that the poem had a lot of mistakes, and denied the award and asked Dharumi to improve the poem. Dharumi went to lord shiva and told the same, lord shiva got angry that Nakkeerar found fault in his poem and went to an assembly and challenged Nakkeerar. But Nakkerar was not moved. Shiva asked Nakkerar if even the hair of the goddess did not have a natural hair scent?! Nakkerar asserted that it was so.

Scene 6: God Siva shows his true form by opening his third eye. Scene 7: Nakkerar, now sees who is in front of him, even then he went on to say that a mistake is a mistake.

Shiva opened the third eye and was furious even then Nakkerar stood his ground, this shows his love for Tamil and shows the poet who he was. As he could not bear the scorching heat emanating from the divine eye he jumped into the water of the Golden Lotus Tank. Then at the request of the other poets, the Lord took Nakkeerar out of the tank and forgave him.

And that is how the story ends. Literally, nobody ever played God Siva more perfectly than Sivaji in Tamil cinema. As his name suggests he lived as God Siva. I wish I could able to translate the dialogue portion that happens at this part. But the sweetness and raw poetic Tamil lines could never be done justified during the transition.

I have to thank @themorguepoet for reminding me or taking me back to my memory where I cherish this classic with your post before.

[sciencespies]

Bee lawns generate national buzz

https://sciencespies.com/biology/bee-lawns-generate-national-buzz/

Bee lawns generate national buzz

Credit: Lilla Frerichs/public domain

Bees are excellent dancers. When a forager bee alights upon an Eden of pollen and nectar, it goes home to tell its hive mates. The greater the intensity of the dance, the richer the source of food being indicated.

In Minnesota, more bees are going to be dancing intensely this spring.

Researchers have found that homeowners who seed their lawns with a special grass mix can feed dozens of species of bees that would otherwise go hungry. So, beginning this spring, Minnesota will pay thousands of residents to plant “bee lawns” under a new state program that has attracted attention from other states. Each homeowner will get as much as $350 to do the work.

“A lot of people are watching this,” said Marla Spivak, the University of Minnesota entomologist who came up with the idea for bee lawns, a mix of traditional lawn grass and low-growing flowers.

The stakes are high: More than 1 in 3 bites of food taken in the United States depends on bees and other pollinators. But bee populations have been declining at unusually high rates in recent years.

According to the most recent data from the Bee Informed Partnership, a nonprofit based in College Park, Md., nearly 38% of managed honey bee colonies in the United States were lost in the winter of 2018-2019. This represents an increase of 7 percentage points above the previous year, and the highest loss recorded since the survey began in 2006.

Minnesota lawmakers last year put $900,000 toward the grant program and this year are weighing a bill to double that amount. Already 10 states have expressed interest in the program, including two states—Wisconsin and Washington—with legislative and agency proposals underway.

But critics say there isn’t enough evidence to justify spending so much.

“Minnesota is already the third- or fourth-highest-taxed state in the nation,” Republican state Sen. Mark Johnson told Stateline. Johnson has co-sponsored legislation that would cut funding for the program by close to $100,000. “What is the return on investment here? We’ve not seen evidence to say this is making an impact on bees.”

Nevertheless, Minnesota policymakers say they have heard from officials in Connecticut, Illinois, Iowa, Nebraska, New York, Oregon, Vermont and Virginia who are interested in bee lawn grants.

At least 28 states have enacted pollinator health laws in recent years, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures. Legislation generally addresses habitat protection, research, pesticides, beekeeping and public awareness.

Nationwide, honey bees pollinate $15 billion worth of crops each year, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture. Minnesota alone sold nearly $14 million of honey in 2018, according to the USDA.

“Pollinators sound like they’re cute, but they’re really fundamental—unless you don’t want to eat,” said state Sen. Jim Abeler, a Republican who co-sponsored the bee lawn bill in the Minnesota Senate last year.

Some states took aim at pesticides after bees vanished in droves because of colony collapse disorder—the disappearance of the majority of worker bees in a colony with a few dead bees left behind. But chemical companies and the farming industry have fought chemical regulations. They say pesticides are safe and reject findings that pesticides are responsible for bee population loss.

In Minnesota, for example, then-Democratic Gov. Mark Dayton’s task force to protect pollinators, which met from 2016 to 2018, got logjammed every time it brought up pesticides, Spivak said. “But everyone could agree on increasing habitat for bees,” she said.

And habitat loss—not pesticides—is the No. 1 cause of bee deaths, according to the National Academy of Sciences. Other factors, such as climate change, also play a role.

In Wisconsin, Democratic state Rep. Melissa Sargent was inspired by her teenage son to propose a bee lawn measure. Bailey Sargent, 19, brought his mother’s attention to the issue two years ago, as he planted bee lawns across Dane County, Wisconsin, for his Eagle Scout project.

“Pollinators are one of the biggest things we can be working on,” the lawmaker said.

Her bill would set aside $500,000 in grants to homeowners and local governments to plant bee lawns. The Wisconsin Legislative Council, which provides legislative analysis for state lawmakers, is expected to study the bill this summer, and Sargent plans to introduce it during the next legislative session.

In Washington state, creating a bee lawn program like the one in Minnesota will be a high priority recommendation of the state’s pollinator health task force, according to Katie Buckley, a coordinator at the Washington State Department of Agriculture. The working group is set to give lawmakers its recommendations in November.

In addition, the Evergreen State is retooling its Department of Fish and Wildlife backyard wildlife habitat program to focus on bee habitat and include patios and porches, according to Taylor Cotten, a conservation manager at the agency. The agency does not currently know how many of the habitat program’s 7,000 certified members provide habitat for bees.

Minnesota last year named an official state bee: The Rusty patched bumblebee, which has been decimated, declining by 87% nationwide in the past 20 years, according to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. The agency in 2017 declared the bee an endangered species.

Minnesota’s bee lawn program will be paid for with lottery revenue. More than 4,000 residents applied for the grants, far more than would be able to receive funding under the current program.

Between 300 and 400 residents will receive the $350 grants this month, said John Bly, director of education at the Minneapolis-based nonprofit Metro Blooms, a state partner that helps administer the program. Recipients can be reimbursed for hiring a contractor or for buying do-it-yourself project materials, Bly said.

Metro Blooms installed its mix of fine fescue turfgrass, self-heal, Dutch white clover and creeping thyme at 15 residences, or more than 3,000 square feet of bee lawns, according to James Wolfin, sustainable land care manager, adding that bee lawns attract more than 60 species of bees, compared with zero for regular turfgrass.

Minnesota Native Landscapes, in Otsego, sold about 160 lawns’ worth of seed mix last year, up from 40 in 2018, according to sales manager Josh Rosinger, adding that he expects to increase sales again this year.

Organic Bob, in Minneapolis, did 15 bee lawn seedings and installations for residents in the Twin Cities area last year, according to Katie Allen, the sales manager. Organic Bob will install bee lawns of about 1,000 square feet for the grant amount, $350, but it will charge more for larger lawns, say $1,500 for a lawn of 6,000 square feet.

“It wasn’t meant to be a boon to the landscaping industry,” said Abeler, the senator who co-sponsored the bee lawn legislation. “Minnesota is a state of do-it-yourselfers. We don’t need to be giving money to people to bring in a lawn service, unless they’re seniors, for heaven’s sake.”

Before expanding the program, Abeler said, he wants to see how the program goes, making sure he doesn’t hear from constituents saying that they’re getting bilked by landscapers over it.

Minnesota state Rep. Kelly Morrison, of the Democratic–Farmer–Labor Party, says the volume of applicants speaks to the popularity of the program and its likely success in boosting bee populations.

Morrison proposes to double the funding for the bee lawns program this year in a bill she introduced last month.

“Restoring habitat for honey bees and our native pollinators is one of the most important conservation concerns of our lifetime,” said Elsa Gallagher, a biologist at the Bee and Butterfly Habitat Fund, a nonprofit that has planted 82 larger-scale projects in Minnesota. Some are residential, but all are larger than a typical bee lawn.

“Bees don’t care what the land is called,” said Clint Otto, a research ecologist with the U.S. Geological Survey stationed at the Northern Prairie Wildlife Research Center in North Dakota, adding that bee lawns do need to be cared for.

“Managed properly, high-diversity mixes routinely generate more bee visits, and are aesthetically pleasing,” Otto said.

Bee lawns debuted at four parks in Minneapolis last year, and scientists such as Hannah Ramer and Kristen Nelson at the University of Minnesota surveyed park visitors for their reactions and published their findings in a 2019 article in the journal Landscape and Urban Planning.

Only 1% of children and 3% of adults in the United States are allergic to bee stings. But Ramer and Nelson found that more than half of visitors to Minneapolis parks with bee lawns last year said they were worried about bee stings. Still, visitors overwhelmingly (more than 95%) approved of the bee lawns.

“Bees are aggressive when defending their hive; not when out foraging on flowers,” said Washington state’s Buckley, adding that it once took her and her fellow researchers half an hour of harassing a bee to get it to sting one of them.

Scientists found in a 2015 article in the Journal of Asthma and Allergy that bees sting only “as a defensive maneuver,” unlike wasps.

Other Minneapolis respondents objected to the look of bee lawns, with one saying they “could look trashy.” Buckley disagrees. “Personally, I happen to like flowers and think they’re pretty,” she said.

In the legislature, according to the lead sponsor of the Minnesota bee lawns bill, state Rep. Rick Hansen of the Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party, opponents mocked bees as unimportant and unworthy of spending. But Hansen said he was confident bee lawns would expand in Minnesota and around the country.

“We have more people who support the bill,” Hansen said, “and we will prevail.”

Explore further

Backyard gardeners can act to help bee populations

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#Biology

[thankskenpenders]

Archie presents Ken Penders’ Knuckles the Echidna: A Postmortem

At long last, we’ve come to the end of the Knuckles solo series. Again, this is far from the end of the Penders Knuckles stories, but he no longer gets a whole series to himself. And thank God for that

While a 32 issue run (or really, 35, counting the first miniseries) might pale in comparison to Sonic’s nearly 300 issues, it’s a pretty impressive feat. That’s a lot of comics! A lot of series these days don’t get to enjoy runs that long. Hell, a lot are lucky to even last a year. And assuming that’s 22 pages of story in each issue, that means Penders got a whopping 770 pages of Knuckles comics where he got to do whatever he wanted

What did Penders spend those 770 pages doing? Well, he sure introduced a lot of new echidnas, that’s for damn sure. Let’s break down the Knuckles series arc by arc and briefly summarize what each one actually contributed to the world of Archie Sonic

Sonic’s Friendly Nemesis Knuckles miniseries #1-3

Characters Introduced: Enerjak. Knuckles also first meets Archimedes, who had been previously set up

Summary: Knuckles meets and begins to work together with Archimedes, who he inexplicably trusts right away. Enerjak comes back and announces he still wants to take over the world. Knuckles beats him up

Lasting Impact: Archimedes and Enerjak/Dimitri stick around as important-ish characters

Knuckles #1-3: The Dark Legion miniseries

Characters Introduced: The Dark Legion, Kragok, Steppenwolf, Christopholes, Menniker

Summary: The Dark Legion returns. The founding of the Brotherhood of Guardians is touched upon, as is their dumb pro-/anti-technology feud with the Dark Legion. Locke uses some sort of Chaos Emerald magic from afar to stop the Legion’s guns from firing so Knuckles can beat them up

Lasting Impact: The Dark Legion and the Brotherhood would be major players for the rest of the story

Knuckles #4-6: Lost Paradise

Characters Introduced: Julie-Su, Lara-Le, Remington, Helmut von Stryker, Gerbil, Hawking, Sabre, Wynmacher, some other fire ant whose name I forget

Summary: Ex-Dark Legionnaire Julie-Su suddenly defects from her faction to seek out Knuckles, because they “soul-touched” and now they’re destined to be lovers or something. Echidnaopolis suddenly comes back because reasons, and boy do they sure still have a lot of technology for people who said they renounced it. The dingoes are apparently evil fascists, and Hawking explains how racist he is to Knuckles.

Lasting Impact: Julie-Su and many of the characters here become mainstays in Knuckles’ supporting cast, and obviously Echidnaopolis becomes the main setting of the comic

#7-9: Dark Vengeance

Characters Introduced: The Echidna High Council, High Councilor Pravda

Summary: Enerjak comes back (again) and immediately becomes the new leader of the Dark Legion. Hawking is on life support. Enerjak kills Knuckles, but then the Ancient Walkers bring him back so he can be a Christ metaphor. Enerjak is defeated and turns back into Dimitri, who ages rapidly. Mammoth Mogul shows up so he can be trapped in the Master Emerald in the following Sonic issue

Lasting Impact: Dimitri’s old now

#10-12: The Other Road Taken

Characters Introduced: The Lost Tribe, Yanar, Athair’s mom (I forget her name), Rob O’ the Hedge and friends, Mari-An, Zax, Raynor, Gala-Na. Athair makes his first appearance in a Knuckles comic

Summary: The Lost Tribe is introduced. They’ve apparently been searching for the ancient echidna homeland of Albion in a big caravan for centuries. The Day of Fury happens, which doesn’t amount to much here compared to the literal apocalypses that share the title in the lore. They make a pit stop over in Snottingham in the Sonic series for some Robin Hood shenanigans, then Knuckles walks on water to lead them to Albion and continue being a Christ metaphor

Lasting Impact: These characters and locations are EVENTUALLY revisited, but not in the remainder of the Knuckles solo series

#13-15: The Chaotix Caper

Characters Introduced: Harry the cab driver, Mello (while dying), Unnamed(?) Echidna Doctor and Nurse, Downtown Ebony Hare, his fox girlfriend, his bulldog goon, the scientist guy who was making the drugs, Charmy’s family, Saffron, Jeepers the Bee Butler, a bear biker gang, Bimmy

Summary: Charmy’s apparent best friend Mello dies of a drug overdose. To investigate, the Chaotix all go to an amusement park, eat the drug-laced food, trip balls, and almost die. Charmy’s past is expanded upon so that he can then go home and get written out of the series. Knuckles starts to show off his Chaos powers

Lasting Impact: Harry sorta stuck around. We know more about Charmy, who is now gone

#16-18: Reunions, Deep Cover

Characters Introduced: Tobor, Moritori Rex, Spectre, Sojourner, Thunderhawk, Tobor’s family

Summary: Knuckles finds out his mom is getting married to Wynmacher. We find out that Lara-Le had major problems with the way Locke raised Knuckles, which goes nowhere. The Brotherhood convenes. We find out that one of them has been replaced with someone evil for years through one of the dumbest twists in the history of these comics. Knuckles beats up Kragok in jail, then Kragok and Tobor fuck off into a “quantum beam,” apparently killing them both. I didn’t even realize they died when I first read this. That may be a retcon

Lasting Impact: Tobor and Kragok died I guess. Lara-Le and Wynmacher’s marriage is teased

#19-21: The Forbidden Zone

Characters Introduced: Prince Elias Acorn, Queen Alicia Acorn, the bulldog colonel and his wife, a baby

Summary: Geoffrey and pals show up from the main series to rescue the Queen, only to walk right up to the Acorn family compound on Angel Island with no trouble and meet Sally’s long lost brother Elias, who nobody knew about. The Queen, meanwhile, is in a pod. Locke and Lara-Le meet up and he tries to kiss her for some mindboggling reason. Knuckles gets mad about all the secrets and finally meets the Brotherhood, but his dad isn’t there at the time. He also fights Moritori Rex (fake Tobor), who gets away 

Lasting Impact: Elias would become quite important... over in the Bollers stories in the main series. He had nothing to do with Knuckles.

#22-24: Dark Alliance

Characters Introduced: Lien-Da, Benedict, Xenin

Summary: Echidna/dingo tensions rise in the runup to the election. Dimitri is a cyborg now. Lien-Da is apparently the new leader of the Dark Legion, and she kidnaps and brainwashes the High Councilor so they can rig the election. Tons and tons and tons of tasteless allusions to Nazi Germany and the Holocaust are made. Knuckles shows off his Chaos powers a little more. The fact that Remington is Kragok’s son is alluded to, but Penders never actually remembered to reveal this in a comic

Lasting Impact: None

#25: Childhood’s End

Characters Introduced: Harlan, Rembrandt, Aaron, one of Robotnik’s ancestors

Summary: Knuckles finally finds his dad... because he didn’t run away fast enough when Knuckles spotted him. Locke tells him the baby microwave story. He also tells him about a vision of the future he had, which scared him into doing all the horrible things he did, but this future never actually comes to pass in the comics. Knuckles immediately forgives his dad for experimenting on him

Lasting Impact: Locke’s not hiding from Knuckles anymore

#26-28: The First Date (feat. Friend in Need)

Characters Introduced: Raynor (not to be confused with the other echidna named Raynor), a bunch of nameless furry girls for Vector to ogle; Nic the Weasel, the real Fiona Fox, Ray the Flying Squirrel

Summary: Julie-Su is mad at Knuckles, so she goes out with some other guy for half a day. Vector tries to get laid and acts like an incel. Locke gives Knuckles the talk. Knuckles finally actually asks Julie-Su out, then has his 16th birthday party. In the backup story, Mighty, Nic, and Fiona rescue Ray from a time anomaly, and Fiona’s past is explained

Lasting Impact: Knuckles and Julie-Su are dating now. Nic, Fiona, and Ray stuck around as important characters in the main series

#29: My Special Friend

Characters Introduced: None (but this is only one issue)

Summary: Sally tries to get help from the Brotherhood now that Robotnik is back in the main series, but they refuse because Sally won’t use guns. Knuckles is a centrist who won’t firmly side with Sally, so she leaves angrily. Along the way, Sally rationalizes her dad’s attempt at Robian genocide

Lasting Impact: None

#30-32: King of the Hill (feat. Espio the Chameleon)

Characters Introduced: Monk, Hunter, Snowpidgeon, Aryu One-Two; Barney, Liza, and several other unimportant chameleons

Summary: Knuckles’ childhood bully, a large purple gorilla, returns to Angel Island after being yeeted into the ocean by the Brotherhood years ago. A human hunter named Hunter shows up to reenact The Most Dangerous Game. Monk falls during the fight and dies. Hunter is captured. In the backup story, Espio has a run-in with the roboticized Valdez, his apparent best friend, who he then murders

Lasting Impact: Hunter eventually made a minor appearance in a Bollers story years later. Valdez dies

Are you noticing a trend? Things keep happening in these stories, but it rarely has much of an impact. One of the Guardians was a traitor all along? Eh, doesn’t affect much. The Dark Legion candidate in the election ends up being a robot and dies? Eh, they had a replacement ready--but also, the election didn’t matter anyway.

Rarely do we learn anything of value about the characters. Knuckles doesn’t grow much as a person, and he never gets much of a personality. Julie-Su’s whole life revolves around being soul bound to Knuckles with only the faintest hint of her own personality. The Chaotix never contribute anything of value. When something comes up to make us question Locke and the Brotherhood, Penders then goes “No, no, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

Supporting characters and subplots that go nowhere keep getting introduced just so it can feel like a lot is going on, but it’s all shallow. Knuckles has like 12 grandpas, most of whom are still alive, and only maybe three of them are distinct in any way. They all just talk like Penders, just like every character in these comics (except for Vector, who gets to be Urban). Things just keep happening around Knuckles, often without his actual involvement, while Penders says that every other arc is the biggest most important thing that’s ever happened.

It’s the oldest trick in comics. End on a cliffhanger. Say that NEXT ISSUE something interesting will DEFINITELY happen. Promise that the story is going somewhere. Just keep buying more issues! But the payoff never comes

While Sonic’s better stories have him sprinting around the world, the Knuckles series just plops him down on a treadmill for 35 issues. In the background, he’s listening to a boring documentary about echidna lore and genealogies

His life is in shambles

[svnnyjjang]

I learned that ur a mx stan, a hella good giffer, and u have so many friends on Tumblr I'm jealous how do u do it

asdfghjk i bREATH MXXXXX, seriously these boysssssssssss

asdfghk thank you !!! i feel really insecure about making gifs sometimes like when i giffed dont speak everyones gifset was high quality shit and mine as just shitty ass and i was like ????? why ??? and i didnt knew how to fix it so yea it sucked, bUT ITS SO GOOD TO READ THIS THANK YOU !!!!

i have no idea how i make friends actually??? and how they dont get tire of me ???? sometimes i wonder if some of them consider me friend bc u know we dont talk much ??? but yea i love them ^^ i guees the point is just go talk to them??? like about anything?? like i started talking w nat bc i wanted the link of a taeyeon fancam (we had talked before but it kinda died bc i suck at friendships) and then we just kept talking??? and w ivy i started talking bc she came and was like ‘lets talk about moon lovers !!!’ and we now talk about so many things??? and when melina wanted to do a gif battle, and even tho melina is like queen of gifsets and i had no idea what was a gif battle i was like sign me the fuck in and bc of that i also got to know her and cam(ille) better and know katya???? and theres more people and i could go on and on about it, but basically, just put urself out there reach for people and someone will reach back

[alien-bodies]

Oversharing Time!!!

(i just made that title up that’s not the official title I’m just Like That)

Ok so @frogyell​ tagged my main account (I am BLEST) but that’s for Refined Star Trek Content and this one’s for excellent moodboard content and garbage so here’s the garbage!!! I’m putting it under a cut bc it manipulates your brain to want to read through 85 fuckin facts about me more wow I love science

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

1. last drink: Water! off to a great start

2. last phone call: my local Hot Topic. I feel like I should also mention I work there. But if you don’t know that and steal my phone you’ll see I have a contact named Hot Topic

3. last text message: Google sent me a verification code, but the last one I sent was to my brother it says “k”

4. last song you listened to: It’s called The Horror Of Your Love by Ludo, if I had to delete all but one song on my 121-song Best Enemies playlist I’d keep this one it’s Peak and kinda has vore but it’s metaphorical. metavoreical, if you will

5. time you cried: during my latest EMDR sesh! I was in Wales and everything it was a Lot I got ice cream after

6. dated someone twice? Big No

7. kissed someone and regretted it? Not really?

8. been cheated on? my ex had 16 anime dating sims downloaded at one point while we were dating does that count

9. lost someone special? yea

10. been depressed? hella

11. gotten drunk and thrown up? I’ve been drunk 1 time and it was when I was playing English handbells at my dad’s church’s wassail night but I did not throw up no

fave colors

12. Black

13. Lavendar

14. Light blue

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends? Hell Yell!!

16. fallen out of love? k i n d a ? ?

17. laughed until you cried? oh absolutely

18. found out someone was talking about you? OH BOY YUP YUP

19. met someone who changed you? yes! she managed to physically alter my hippocampus without touching it how fuckign whack is that

20. found out who your friends are? It’s always the same miraculous group chat

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list? sure have

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? I keep it nice and refined so all of them. My old account is another story

23. do you have any pets? one beautiful and talented cat named Moriarty. A good description is she’s got puppy software on cat hardware.

24. do you want to change your name? listen I’ve been through 4.5 of these fuckers, I like Nate, I’m Quite Finished

25. what did you do for your last birthday? invited 2 pals over, I remember one of them suddenly whipped out I Am The Doctor and the Dr Who theme on the piano out of fuckin nowhere and I was like “Daniel what the hell you’re so talented” and then I hardcore dissociated the rest of the day

26. what time did you wake up today? 10:00

27. what were you doing at midnight last night? chatting w @houseofoakdown​ and also editing my monstrosity of a fanfiction

28. what is something you cant wait for? Going back to school! then I can graduate in my pajamas and eat creamed corn in celebration

30. what are you listening to right now? the same goddamn playlist, this one’s called Battle Cry by The Family Crest, i cri erytiem

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom? probably???

32. something thats getting on your nerves? my brother vaping in the bathroom with the fan on at 12:30am

33. most visited website: tungle dot hell

34. hair color: I started out blonde af now I’m less blonde but still blonde.

35. long or short hair: short

36. do you have a crush on someone: :[] yes

37. what do you like about yourself: i’m hella smart, my moodboards are bangin, my writing is cool af, I’m well-hydrated at all times

38. want any piercings? Big No

39. blood type: A+!!!!! thats me!!!!!

40. nicknames: my brother calls me a goon sometimes

41. relationship status: im married to my laptop

42. zodiac: I was born on the last day of Taurus so I’m a definite Taurus/Gemini power combo

43. pronouns: they/them, tho in some places I use he/him bc The Dysphoria got hog wild enough I decided to pretend to be a trans guy so ppl would take me seriously, but I’m moving more towards they/them everywhere now. 

44. fave tv shows: Dr Fuck, Sherlock (I’m armed with a pitchfork and an arsenal of beefed up tv & film knowledge come on fight me), DOWNTON ABBEY

45. tattoos: in August I will get a bee on my right arm and probably a Secret Word in Gallifreyan on my left it’ll say fuck

46. right or left handed: one time I was bored in grade 10 and tried to make myself ambidextrous but that was a hassle so I’m firmly right handed. Except in archery.

47. ever had surgery: got all 4 wisom teeth out not long ago! I still need to squirt water in my gum holes so I get all the mushy food out :{

48. piercings: I used to have my ears pierced but they’re grown tf over now!

49. sport: first of all what the hell is this question looking for second of all I have a red belt (which is 2 below black belt) in Taekwondo. I really need to do that again hhhhhh

50. vacation: i went to England and France in the summer with my family as a “””grad trip”””, it was lots of fun but my collection of sensory issues extended to chomping and I dissociated so intensely in The Louvre my mom told me to go back outside so I wrote fanfiction while listening to 21 Pilots and chatting w my imaginary friends and it took me like 18 hours to process I’d seen The Mona Lisa with mine own 2 eyes. Also the plane was delayed twice bc we used Air Canada for some godforsaken reason and I had 0 hours of sleep when I went to the Sherlock Holmes museum and I started talkin to this bust of Sherlock Holmes and then I hadn’t eaten enough and we were walking to this bookstore and I said “I need food!” and my dad said “We’ll get it AFTER” then I shouted “I’M GONNA DIE” so I got a BLT from Tesco. 

51. trainers: h

more general

52. eating: the last thing I ate was chocolate chips straight out of the bag

53. drinking: I got another cup of water

54. im about to watch: my entire fanfiction to take 3000 notes on consistency. and by watch I mean read

55. waiting for: my brother (not vaping) to get out of the bathroom so I can PEE

56. want: Orphan Black to be on Netflix so I can actually binge watch it then call my grandma about it

57. get married: idk I didn’t think I was a get married person but since realizing I’m a lesbian it seems like a good idea!

58. career: nurse and a writer. I might just move to London and work double time to write enough scripts I have some street cred then pitch a TV adaptation of Faction Paradox to the BBC and win

which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs bc it means my friends are in my vicinity not Toronto

60. lips or eyes: uh. eyes???????????

61. shorter or taller: i’m 5′3″ and I would love a tol partner

62. older or younger: i don’t think I care

63. nice arms or stomach: what fresh hell does this mean. I’d like a nice stomach free of gastrointestinal issues and acid reflux. not that I have either of those but just in case

64. hookup or relationship: I have 300 many self-esteem issues so imma say relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant: AU where I don’t have anxiety and I’m a trouble maker

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: noop

67. drank hard liquor: I PUT RUM IN THE WASSAIL HELL YEAH also once someone bought me a shot at a queer dance thing bc it was payday and my friend told me to gulp the WHOLE SHOT and then the lemonade so I don��t barf and I was like “brah this is too high-stakes” so I poured the vodka in the lemonade and took sips and everyone stared at me

68. lost glasses: in grade 6 and then my mom threatened to make me wear one of those granny glasses chains so I never lost them again

69. turned someone down: ya this kid Cyrus used to chase me around in grade 5 and I’d run away always he was weird af one time he made out with a folder right in front of me in the middle of class

70. sex on first date: probs not at this point but I’m not opposed to the general idea when I’m less w h a c k e d  u p

71. broken someones heart: Not that I know of?

72. had your heart broken: c o n s i s t e n t l y in the most fricked up ways god

73. been arrested: no but once I booed at the police bc the local nazis (yeah) were gonna have a rally so we had a counter-rally and I dropped in but there were no nazis except one old dude in a MAGA hat showed up 2 hours late lmao

74. cried when someone died: oui

75. fallen for a friend: Big Lesbian Mood

do you believe in

76. yourself: YA BB

77. miracles: not as such

78. love at first sight: nah

79. santa claus: I wasn’t allowed to believe in Santa as a child bc he was “too much like God” sad

80. kiss on a first date: ye!

81. angels: big no

other

82. best friend’s name: I don’t exactly have a proper best friend but I’m goin with Liam

83. eye colour: blue/grey

84. fave movie: either The Force Awakens (bc I love bb8 and I’m gay 4 Rey) or Interstellar shut up

85. fave actor: uh idk let’s go with my brother

WOW THAT WAS LONG JEE🅱️US. I’m tagging @houseofoakdown @spoonietimelordy @gemvictorfromtheponyverse @spockswhales @raesand and that exhausts the ppl I know but you’re all worth quadruple in my heart 💖

[luciferpens]

Growing......vines? || Harleen

What: Harley and Eveleen running into one another for the first time in years. One was in love and ran avoiding; and the other has no clue and feels betrayed. What could go wrong? Or maybe right? Where: Botanical Gardens When: August 2, 2020 @icarialex​

Riding her skateboard through the botanical gardens had been Harley’s favorite pastime since she moved to the isle. No matter how many times she rode through, she still found something new to admire. It helped too that she used her ability to manipulate the earth to make sure the paths stayed smooth and well kept. It would be a shame for all of the work Persephone put into the sanctuary to be dimmed by crappy groundwork. That day she figured would be no different, but she nearly fell off her skateboard due to the sight of someone she didn’t expect to run into. It was dumb to not think that Eve wouldn’t eventually make her way to an island made just for demigods, but Harley liked to dream apparently. Even though it was bound to be uncomfortable, the idea of trying to run away without being caught didn’t even cross her mind. They had been best friends once after all, and the writer definitely deserved more than that. So, with a deep breath, she slowly skated towards where the woman was and stopped a few feet away. “Hey, Eevee,” she said awkwardly as she kicked up her board. Holding it would at least give her something to do with her hands.(edited)

...

It was weird being on the island; she had gone from living in a bustling city to moving to an island that was just a bit smaller than the city she had lived in -- but carried the population of the city block she had lived on. It was so quiet, so peaceful.... and so weird. She was used to parties till the sun came up, noise everywhere and people. Here while everyone was so different they all had one thing in common. They weren't human and that was probably the weirdest part of it all; the fact that they would all be here... together. It was ripe for story ideas. Eveleen had made a habit of going to one of the many parks or gardens whenever she needed to do some writing, and well, Icaria would be no different. So she made her way to the botanical gardens and found a bench near the middle, surrounded by trees and flowers, buzzing bees and butterflies all around and wrote. She was curled up a notebook in hand when she heard that familiar voice. Her whole body, including her breathing, froze. She swallowed hard as anger, confusion, hurt and longing slammed through her body. After what felt like an eternity but was really just a moment, she looked up and had a smile on her face. "Hey Harles--Harley" she said quickly correcting herself. Harley probably didn't want that level of a friendliness not after ghosting on her.

...

The change from the nickname to her name showed Eve’s displeasure, and it made Harley internally wince. She shouldn’t have expected any different though. It wasn’t like they’d left things on the best of terms. Harley wished more than anything that she could have stopped herself from catching feelings for her best friend. It was such a lesbian cliche. ”You look amazing,” she said easily. It helped to fill in the conversation, but it helped that it was such an easy thing to point out. Eve always looked so put together. ”How long do I have before you let me have it,” she asked in a shy voice. A fight was bound to happen, and what was worse was that none of the answers she was willing to give the woman would be enough. ”I have my will intact. Also, who in all the Gods told you to come to this isle now?” With demigods being kidnapped left and right from Icaria, she didn’t get people flocking to the area. They probably had more luck staying as spread out as possible.

...

Eveleen ran a hand through her hair as she closed her notebook and looked up to her old friend. Ex-friend? She wasn't sure what they were anymore. "Ah -- Thank you." she said her cheeks warming at the compliment. "You don't look so bad yourself." she added a second later. She glanced down to the grass and let her hand brush over its surface causing a small grape tree to form, already producing grapes. She plucked one off and then offered some others to Harley. "Diyonisus of course, told me to come here last year -- decided I didn't particularly want to for a while, then some demi was kidnapped where I lived and I figured I might as well. Though, I hear its actually worse here so thats.... fun." she mused avoiding the topic of letting Harley have it. She was having such a nice day and sure, she was mad and she wanted answers she wasn't about ready to just let Harley off the hook that easy.

...

”Blushing, huh” she teased lightly. That wasn’t something she’d ever been able to resist doing. Seeing a woman who could get so many panties to drop blush was just so satisfying. “Well, you know. I just age like fine wine. You’re a pro with the beverage, so it only makes sense you’d recognize.” Harley flexed a tiny bit and posed playfully just to further emphasize her point. ”It is worse now here,” she agreed. Having Eve on the isle would give her another person to keep an eye on and worry about. ”I came here about a year ago. Poseidon rarely pops in, but he pretty much ordered me to move here. It was really annoying,” she said with a roll of her eyes. The guy seriously liked to pick and choose when he wanted to parent. ”But as long as I can surf, board, and work with children I’m happy. Have you kept up with your surfing? I totally have a board that will fit you well.” If the fashion designer was okay avoiding the complications of their past, then Harley wasn’t going to argue. She didn’t like to go against the current anyway. There was no point in trying to push things that weren’t ready to come out yet.

...

She narrowed her eyes at the blonde and let out a huff. It was hard to get her to blush most of the time; she only really seemed to do such a thing when she actually liked the person she was talking to. Eve didn't want to like Harley right now, she wanted to be mad at her, to hate her; to not want to spend time with Harley. Harley had pushed her to the side and avoided talking to her for most of a year. She should be able to do the same. Should be able to not care but --- she couldn't. She couldn't stop caring about the blonde and it infuriated her. "How many people have gone missing in the past couple of months?" she asked as she popped another grape in her mouth. She needed to keep her hands busy. "I haven't really... Living in NYC made that a bit hard. I did little things here and there when I could but...." she let her voice trail off, the unspoken thoughts begging to slip out but it reminded me of you. "You have a board you're be willing to let me borrow?" she asked eyebrows shooting upwards.

...

The blushing has now been upstaged by adorable huffing ladies and gentlemen. “And the crowd roars,” Harley says playfully before making the sound of a crowd cheering lightly for extra effect. She sometimes wondered how she got away with acting such a way in public, but she figured the people that stuck around thought it was part of her charm. Keeping track of the people that had gone missing was quite the task since it seemed like someone was vanishing every week. After doing a quick count in her head, she replied, ”nine in the last month and half or so. If someone went missing where you were though, I’m glad you’re here. At least we are potentially more useful to keeping you safe than humans.” Not much given their latest track record, but the odds still had to be tipped in their favor. Not being able to resist Eve’s grapes for long, Harley finally took a few. She tossed one in the air, and then promptly caught it in her mouth with a smile. ”New York City, huh? I’ve always wanted to visit, but you know the sea keeps me away.” Which was the truth. While things had been awkward between them, she’d never avoid a city to not see Eve. ”Mhm! I actually added it to my collection because I thought it would be perfect for you,” she elaborated. Harley then pulled out her phone and scrolled through a few pictures before stopping at the one she wanted. ”Here, see? Tell me that isn’t your board.”

...

She plucked the whole bundle of grapes off the tree"I'm going to kick your ass" she muttered her hand tapping the small grape tree she had made and it instantly disappeared, a little bit of her anger showing through in doing so. she sucked in a long breath as Harley told her the number and she shook her head, brow furrowed. "Nine on an island of less than 300? I was living in New York City!" she explained, "18 million people, probably more demigods living within the city than here and as far as I knew only one had vanished, my odds were better there than here." she said with a shake of her head, math wasn't her strong suit but even she knew those odds. It was ridiculous to think they were safer here. But yet all their parents still insisted. "You could have visited for a day or so." she muttered bitterness lacing her words. She knew that she had told Harley multiple times over the past year and a half she had been living in NYC.  Harley acting like she didn't remember, or maybe really had forgotten, just reminded her of how far they had drifted from being friends. "Why would you hold onto a board not knowing when or if you'd ever see me again?" she asked but then looked to the phone and at the photo of the board. It really was a board made just for her. A pastel-y pink with a seafoam blue  center very much just screamed Eveleen.

...

The blonde arched her eyebrow at the woman and playfully jumped slightly up and down from side to side like boxers did to warm up. ”You wouldn’t, but I’ll play fight you anytime,” she answered instantly. Although, getting into a playful wrestling scenario with the woman probably wouldn’t be the greatest decision. ”You might have been safer there, but you’ll love it here eventually. The people are great, and you honestly can’t beat the waves.” Since Harley and other demigods could use their powers without fear, it allowed her and others to manipulate the water as they wanted. That pretty much guaranteed amazing surf conditions. ”I never doubted that I would see you again, Eevee,” Harley answered honestly. While she’d been vague and somewhat absent for some time, the blonde never intended for them their friendship to end. ”So yeah, I held onto the board. The real question is, are you just going to make passive aggressive remarks or actually get things off your chest? I mean, we’re in a botanical paradise. You couldn’t ask for a better backdrop.”

...

Eve narrowed her eyes at Harley and shook her head, "You don't know that, I might." she said and without a second thought created a vine behind the woman that acted on her whims, and smacked Harley's ass. It disappeared as fast as it appeared and Eve just smirked. "You'll lose" she said with a shrug, maybe it was a challenge, maybe it wasn't, it'd be up to Harley to figure that out. "It's so quiet here." she said simply, she was always itching for energy to be around those who tossed out more and more; Harley was the closest she had ever come to not needing to go to parties to fill fulfilled in her chaotic energetic party ways. She chewed over the idea of starting to surf again, it'd be nice to get out on the waves, to spend time in the ocean, to maybe -- No she couldn't let herself think of hanging with Harley until she got answers. Eve just gave Harley a look, narrowed eyes and a doubtful frown. "It's been years Harley." she said, "Do you really want me to get things off my chest? Because it may just be a lot of me yelling." she muttered, "Wouldn't you rather just avoid your problems?"  Oh the sarcasm and venom it almost felt real.

...

A small shriek left Harley at the smack against her ass. The blonde arched an eyebrow at her counterpart because she honestly couldn’t believe she’d done that. ”Use your hands,” she challenged back. While Harley could use her powers too, the Earth could be a little too harsh. Last thing she wanted to do was hurt Eve. ”There is no way I’m bending rocks against you. I mean, I could use them to cuff you down, if you insist.” There was something so different about them in that moment. The tension that was bubbling between them made for an interesting dynamic. It was like they were subtly trying to see who would dominate which the blonde didn’t want to think too much about. ”It is, but there are spots to have fun too. Plus, you’ll make friends in no time. Who can say no to you?” Seriously, it was impossible. Eve was one of LA’s biggest panty droppers back in the day, and Harley doubted that had changed. ”See, that right there I don’t deal with. Yell, curse, I don’t care, but be direct with your insults. Don’t skirt around things because it literally solves nothing. So let’s go,” she said confidently.

...

It was hard not to smirk at the shriek and the comment, there were these small glimpses into their past, into the ways they used to be and it both infuriated her and made her smile. She wanted that back, she wanted Harley and her back to normal but -- she just lifted her shoulders in a nonchalant shrug a small smirk tugging at her lips as they spoke of cuffs and using their hands. "Make me" she retorted not backing down from Harley's stare. "Lots of people" she shrugged, she had never been able to get Harley despite trying over the years, that always seemed to be her luck too; girls she actually wanted didn't always fall into her wiles, but she didn't need to delve into that right then. "You left me." she said simply. "And I support you chasing your dreams and doing your thing but you abandoned me You claimed we were gonna be best friends forever, but I can count on one hand the number of times we've talked in the past year. Four. Four times Harely. Each were only a few texts back and forth before you just stopped replying." she squeezed her notebook tight between her hands causing her knuckles to go white. "So sure, sit here spout your bullshit about how you never doubted we'd see each other again. You stopped making an effort."

...

There was one person who could get under her skin in a second without even really trying, and she just so happened to be right in front of Harley. ”You don’t want to go there, Eevee,” she warned carefully. The memory of Eve kissing her when she was drunk instantly flashed behind her eyes along with how surprisingly dominant the woman had been in the exchange. That particular memory was not one she needed to have in that moment though, so she shoved it back down into the Pandora’s box it belonged in. ”I’ve rarely seen anyone be able to turn you down.” Throughout their whole friendship the woman had been able to get Harley to do anything she wanted. The word no had never been in the woman’s vocabulary when she had those deep brown eyes looking at her. ”I left,” she agreed. ”I never intended to leave you though. As for the past year, I have a reason, but it’s not one that I’m ready to share yet. Can you trust me enough to believe me when I say it’s a valid one?” There was no way Harley was ready to tell Eve that she’d left because she had been hopelessly in love with her, and the kiss they had shared that the woman didn’t even remember broke the last bit of her that had been able to remain untouched by the onslaught. That was just too much. ”My work got crazy because I decided to become a registered nurse anesthetist in pediatrics, and my mom was on a new kick of trying to mend our relationship. Still, those aren’t the real reasons just contributing factors.” Eve was angry which made sense since she’d always been too dense to realize the signs. She never noticed the little things Harley did to show she loved her, and therefore, had no idea just how much pain the blonde had put herself through.(edited)

...

The use of her nickname was the only thing that stopped her from snapping back, which stopped her from using her vines to poke at Harley a bit more. No one called her Eevee. Evie. Eve, Eveleen. Lee, Ev. Sure. But eevee the pokemon? That was only Harley. And hearing it after so long felt like a punch. So, she narrowed her eyes at Harley "Try me" she said. "You don't know where I want to go." Eve pressed, she was angry and wanted answers but also curious as to why Harley was acting as she was. "Rarely, but it still happens. I know how to get what I want, but there are people even I couldn't get to give me a kiss or crawl into bed with me." she mused with the quickest glance to Harley's eyes then lips before she looked back down at the grapes she had in her lap.  She snorted and tossed a grape into the bush. there had been nothing wrong with it, but she was still angry. "Not ready to share why you abandoned your so-called-best friend?" she muttered just above a whisper as she shook her head. "Honestly? No, not really." she said as she pushed herself up from her seated position. "But that's fine. You've got yourself a life here, someone you do tell everything too, I'm sure, hell maybe even a girlfriend. Go vent to them after this about how much I've changed and how much of a bitch I am. It's fine. We'll just be cordial, and when you're ready to stop keeping secrets from me, you can tell me why you couldn't find five minutes once in a while to text me." she said slowly soothing her own anger from venom to a sad cool stream "I'm glad you're doing something you love and you're fixing things with your mom though.” 

...

The two of them never fought when they were friends, so this was completely new territory. Both of them were challenging each other which was dangerous due to their stubborn nature. ”Why don’t you enlighten me then,” she asked back just as tensely. ”Where do you want this to go?” That was much easier than telling her she was getting oddly turned on by seeing the woman so angry and spunky. It was such an unusual version of Eve, and it wasn’t horrible even though she wasn’t a fan of being on the receiving end of it all. ”Name one,” she said in response to not being able to get someone to look at her or kiss her. Harley wanted to know just so she could find them and kick their ass for squandering that away. Although, perhaps they were like her and knew that all they could get from the woman was an amazing night, and that just wouldn’t be enough. ”Not ready to share with anyone,” she replied back quickly. Eve wasn’t a topic she touched with people. It was too painful to. ”If you’re thinking someone has replaced you here, you’re wrong. No one can even hold a candle to you in my life, so get off it. No girlfriend either. Also, when have I ever been able to call you a bitch? You’re the one ready to hurl insults and toss jabs here. I just told you to come out with it all in one go instead of every other sentence.” The venom she felt radiating off of the woman before her was painful, but she kept a brave face. Harley understood where it was coming from, but she also knew she wouldn’t be able to take it for too long. Either they found a way to table it until she was ready to talk, or the blonde would be doing a lot of avoiding. ”My mom is still batshit crazy, Eevee, that won’t change. She’s still with Jay though, and he’s kept her on her meds better than I ever could, so it’s better.”

...

She let out a little breath and shook her head, “Depends, where were you thinking it was going to go?” she asked letting another vine come up and smack Harley’s ass once more before turning into a pile of grapes on the floor. She hoped that her vine was enough of an answer to the question without her having to actually say anything. She snorted a laugh at the request to name one,”Oh I don’t know.. Let’s see, she’s blonde, spunky, really loves the ocean, was my roommate for years and who I flirted with non-stop and yet… I could never get anything from it.” she said crossing her arms over her chest. Eve pursed her lips biting the corner of it slightly as Harley spoke on her not being replaced. She found that so hard to believe, that no one had caught her eye either as a girlfriend, or that Harley hadn’t collected another best friend. She was friendly enough to. “No one can hold a candle but you can’t send me more than a couple texts a year. I pity to think of how you treat your other friends if I’m your best one. And I worry for any girlfriend you get, but then again, maybe you’d spend all your time doting on her it wouldn’t matter and we wouldn’t even know.” she grumbled, she knew Harley was a sweetheart, she knew the girl loved her friends, but she couldn’t let this go and she couldn’t get past the pit in her stomach. But there it was, that infernal nickname, the one that would always catch her off guard and make her pay attention. “Still with Jay, damn, that’s good. I’m glad he’s keeping her a bit more stable. She deserves that in life.”

...

Another shriek as a fine connected with her ass which led to her glaring at the woman ahead of her. Blue eyes closed as Harley tried to count to ten. She’d been on the receiving end of Eve’s flirtations before, but never had they held the anger behind them as well. ”I asked you first, and use your words. They communicate better than your vines.” Spanking was something the blonde would be fine with, but not from plants. That was just rude and really freaking painful. The description Eve provided of the girl she could never get made the nurse’s heart momentarily stop. Fate was honestly so cruel. Years later, and then she got the writer to admit something. ”That blonde didn’t want just one night,” she answered back but not quite as confidently. That all still hurt her to talk about which was why Eveleen was a rather taboo topic in her life. ”You’re such a pain in the ass. I’m saying that no one will ever be you. And drop the girlfriend lines. You’re just working yourself up more, and you’re pissed off enough as it is. Plus, it seems I have a knack for growing feelings for women with commitment issues anyway.” Honestly, it was probably something she should work on. That attraction obviously didn’t mesh well with her. Although, she’s gaining more traction with Aida than she had with Eve considering the woman didn’t even notice Harley’s advances in California. ”He’s thinking of proposing, so I may have a wedding to attend sooner rather than later.”

...

Eve couldn’t help but smirk, “Ah but my vines can spell things too” she said letting one crawl up her arm and it spelt out the word flirting before seemingly dissolving into her skin. She sucked in a long breath and frowned, her brow furrowing as she did so. The idea that Harley had wanted more than just one night hadn’t been something that had really crossed her mind -- because Harley had never really shown much interest in the first place. At least not -- obviously to her. “More than just that night?” she asked, cocking her head to one side, she sucked in a long breath, eyes darting back and forth as she looked at the floor. “Am I?” she asked somewhat deadpan, both in answer to being a pain in the ass and working herself up. “I mean obviously there’s someone there for you to make a comment like that.”  she smiled, it was a slightly broken sad smile. She wanted her friend to be happy, but the idea of Harley dating someone else -- irked her. She bit her lip but nodded her head. “Well, that will be fun. I’m sure you’ll be adorable in a bridesmaids dress. Hopefully not a hideous one.” she paused, “Though, knowing you, you’d still make it cute.”

...

When a vine appeared yet again, Harley honestly almost flinched because she did not want to get hit again, but quickly shifted her attention to try to make out what was being spelled. When she realized what it was, an eyebrow arched before a small laugh escaped her lips. ”You’re mad at me but want to flirt with me? That sends a bit of a mixed message, don’t you think?” The mood swings could give Harley whip lash. Still, if she wasn’t careful, Harley knew it would be easy for her to fall back into old patterns. Patterns that had left her heart aching for any attention from the actress by the end. ”Mhm. Could I have responded to your flirting and taken things further one night? Yes. Did I want to sometimes? Yes, but I didn’t just want one night with you or a friends with benefit situation. That’s why nothing happened.” Apparently Eve was still clueless to her feelings which drove her slightly mad. She didn’t understand how the woman could be that oblivious. Was she just so used to women fawning over her that she thought some things were normal? If so, what a life. ”You are,” she said with a nod. ”That would be what you took from that sentence,” she said with a slight shake of her head. The compliment was unexpected, but still made Harley smile. ”That’s because I can make almost anything work, but I think pink ruffles would be my demise.”

...

Eveleen lifted one shoulder in a shrug, “Angry flirting can be fun.” she said as she popped one of the grapes she had made earlier into her mouth. She wasn’t even sure why she was doing it and hearing that the resident therapist had been taken by the minotaur? Well she guessed she wouldn’t be figuring that out any time soon. Too bad. She let out a long breath and ran a hand through her hair tossing the wavy hair all to one side. “You know you could have talked to me” she said before popping another grape into her mouth as her stomach dropped out of her at the idea that they could have had more over the years. It had never been a thought that Harley could like her as more than just friends; she had never … really had a true friend that hadn’t just been after her family’s money, or hell, her own money. “If it wasn’t something on your mind you wouldn’t have even mentioned it, means someone is lingering in that pretty blonde head of yours. Someone caught your eye.” she said, eating another grape. “I’d pay decent money to see you in a pink ruffle dress. Maybe I’ll just text your mom that it would be the best to put you in one.” she smirked, “If only just to try it on for the wedding, maybe not as her final choice. But yanno, get her to take a picture and send it to me.”

...

”I prefer teasing flirting, but that’s just me,” she said with a shrug. Although, that was dangerous to voice out loud because the woman was the biggest tease Harley had ever known. The blonde put her skateboard flat on the floor before moving to take a seat on it and shrugged her shoulders. That was easy in theory, but actually talking to Eve about it was terrifying. ”What was the point, Eevee?” She’d seen first hand how many girls the woman loved partying with and taking home. That had never been Harley’s scene. ”I made it so clear, Eevee. Didn’t you notice I didn’t treat any other person the way I did you? Do you think it’s a coincidence that I didn’t have a girlfriend even though you know I’m the type who loves commitment?” Harley didn’t understand what the point of voicing her desire was when it was obvious nothing that she did was being seriously reciprocated. Having concrete rejection instead of just reading signals wasn’t something she needed. ”Eevee, I’m single. I’ve been single for awhile. Tried dating someone once, but it didn’t last very long.” She didn’t get why the woman was so focused on it, but she’d clarify if it would make the fashion designer less cranky. She was always up for making someone happier. ”Don’t you dare,” she threatened. ”My mom loves you and probably would. Plus, you know I don’t listen to my mother. That won’t get me in the dress it would just make me have to deal with a lot of pestering from my mom.”

...

Their shift in heights and positions, the flip of who was sitting vs who was standing, paired with the nickname once more made her pause for a moment. She chewed on her bottom lip as she watched Harley. Eveleen let out a long huff and shrugged her shoulders, she didn’t quite get what Harley was getting at as she started talking. She furrowed her brow and sucked in her bottom lip as she thought about the past, about what their past was like. “I didn’t… try and pay close attention to how you treated others, beyond that you were nice and friendly to them all....” she said with a little frown “Besides, you were literally the first person I lived with outside of my parents and the first real friend I ever made. I don’t really know how friends are supposed to act if I’m being totally honest. I mean --” she let out a little sigh trailing off, that was a whole can of worms she had never spoke about to anyone. “ Finding someone you jive with, though, can take time and even if you’re a commitment type person that doesn’t mean you just stumble upon someone you actually want to date for any length of time.” she said and rubbed the back of her neck. She rolled her eyes at Harley’s comment and crossed her arms over her chest. “I guess, I just have such a hard time imaging you’ve stayed single when you’ve live on this island paradise with how gorgeous some of the girls are here.” but at the mention of Harley’s mother she laughed, “You may not listen to your mother but a bride you can’t deny the bride…. If she wanted you in a cute frilly dress you can’t lie to me and say that you wouldn’t try it on for her.”

...

”It wasn’t my intention to have feelings for you,” Harley said carefully after hearing Eve speak. ”Not because I wouldn’t want to, but I really did just plan on being your best friend. Still, even when I did want more with you, I never cared about any of the other stuff that came with you. The money, power associated with your mother, power that will soon be your own, or any of that stuff. None of that has ever mattered to me,” she explained honestly. Even though Eve never spoke about it, Harley had noticed how people clamored to her because of her mother’s status. She’d gotten a small taste of it, so she could only imagine how it had been before. ”For reference though, I have more boundaries with my friends. I don’t go out of my way to see them whenever I can, bring them coffee, take them out to dinner at fancy restaurants I could never afford without saving for weeks, or pretend to accidentally get to close to the corner of their lips when I kiss their cheeks. That was all just for you.” Explaining it all was making Harley’s stomach bottom out to her shoes, and she just wished she could have run away from it all just a little longer. She knew she’d eventually she’d have to face the music, but the blonde had hoped she’d have a little more time. At least enough for her heart to stop doing the thing where it wanted to literally beat out of her chest whenever Eve was around. ”I lived on California constantly next to the most beautiful and talented British woman for years and stayed single. That experience comes in handy.” A sigh escaped her lips at Eve’s logic, and she hated that the woman was right. It was just downright annoying. ”Eevee, don’t do that to me. It’s just mean,” she said with a pout.

...

Eve froze mid-movement at the word feelings, her eyes darting to the blonde as a vine snaked up her leg. Nervousness sparked it to life and it touching her leg -- literally grounded her. Reminded her that things were real. She sucked in a long breath as Harley spoke of literally every fear Eve had had about people liking her, about friendships she had made over the decades of her life. She had almost no real friends, no real people that didn’t want her for just her mother’s influence or sway. Hell, she could count them on one hand if she really wanted to and as of right now she knew two of them were on the isle. Her brain felt like it was short-circuiting, feelings? Friendships? not being used? It was a lot for her to take in and actually process. Her mouth opened slightly and she let out a little breath. She was unsure of what even to say to Harley at that moment. “I’m just gonna be honest here… I -- literally don’t know what to say to all that other than -- uh.. I need time to process.” she sucked in her bottom lip and forced herself to keep her feet planted instead of moving back, moving away from the idea that Harley cared for her that much. “But um” she swallowed and blinked a couple of times trying to recenter herself. “Maybe… I’ll be nice and not make your mom do that..” she glanced down at the vine wrapped around her leg and willed it away.

...

The blonde watched as the wheels started going into overdrive in the writer’s mind, and barely withheld the sigh when she knew what was coming. Although, she was surprised to notice that Eve didn’t run away from the situation all together. The fact that she hadn’t made it better than the worst case scenario she had imagined in her head whenever she thought about discussing her feelings. When Eve did finally speak, Harley managed a small smile and nodded her head. “Take all the time you need,” she answered honestly. “I’m not going anywhere, and I’m never hard to find. I can give you my address, or if you just go to the beach for long enough, I’m sure you’ll find me. Well, unless I’m working.” Her schedule changed from week to week, so she couldn’t really outline that for the woman, but she still wasn’t that hard to locate. Plus, her number hadn’t changed either. “That would be nice. If you’re nice, I’ll dress up in something ridiculous for you one day. Although, I’m sure you’ll want to redo my wardrobe first. We can talk about that later though if you want me to roll out. I don’t want to overwhelm you or anything.” While Harley was feeling slightly deflated about putting her feelings out there and getting such a grey response, she didn’t like making anyone feel uncomfortable. All she ever wanted was for the people she cared about be happy.

...

Eve nodded her head at Harley's assurance it was okay if she took some time to process. Either way she would take the time, but knowing Harley understood that she was overwhelmed by this all? It lifted a small bit of weight from her shoulders. She swallowed hard and nodded once more "I uh -- whatever you like more. If you want me to come by when I'm more -- mentally prepared for this I can just text me your address." she said and licked her lips trying to calm herself down. She needed a drink, or to get high, she wasn't sure which would be of more use right now. Maybe talking to one of her siblings would do the trick... But at the mention of dressing up for her she chuckled, she'd love to get Harley into some ridiculous clothes just for fun. "Depends on how your wardrobe looks." she shrugged, "I'd have to see your closet." she swallowed, fashion. Fashion was easy to talk about, fashion distracted her from her sweaty palms, her pounding heart and her racing mind. It calmed her breathing, kept her from hyperventilating. Was this another panic attack threatening to rear its ugly head? Maybe. Space. She needed to go. "I -- no, it's fine, stay, enjoy the park. I have to go meet up with Vera anyways." she waved her hand and a small grape vine grew from the ground, "Enjoy some grapes." she said before taking a step back, "I'll... I'll talk to you soon" Eveleen said with a smile before she strolled off -- taking deep breaths to calm the panic that was still rising in her gut.

[gethealthy18-blog]

325: Hashimoto’s Update: How I Got to Remission & What I Do to Maintain

New Post has been published on https://healingawerness.com/news/325-hashimotos-update-how-i-got-to-remission-what-i-do-to-maintain/

325: Hashimoto’s Update: How I Got to Remission & What I Do to Maintain

Child: Welcome to my Mommy’s podcast.

This episode is sponsored by Four Sigmatic, the reason I’m on shrooms (the legal kind) every day. They make a wide variety of superfood mushroom infused products from coffees and teas to elixirs and even chocolate that is infused with ten mushrooms! I have a shelf in my pantry just for four sigmatic products and keep pretty much all of them on hand. Some current favorites… my kids love the reishi infused cocoa, and I love that it helps them sleep! I also really enjoy their 10 mushroom blend which contains all of my favorites like chaga, cordyceps, reishi and even meshima. I add this to coffee, tea, or smoothies to get a daily dose of shrooms. As a listener of this podcast, you can save 15% by going to foursigmatic.com/wellnessmama and using the code “wellnessmama”

This episode is brought to you by Beekeeper’s Naturals, superfood products from the hive that help support your family’s health. Right now, Propolis has been a lifesaver with all of the sniffles and coughs going around where we live. Propolis is a resinous mixture that bees make in the hive and contains over 300 compounds including polyphenols and compounds that are antibacterial and a compound called pinocembrin that acts as an antifungal. Some studies have shown that propolis can speed wound healing. It’s natural antibacterial and antifungal properties also make it great for fighting the sniffles. At first sign of any sniffles, sore throat or coughing, I spray propolis in the throat and it almost always helps us bounce back quickly. I also use propolis before flying to avoid picking up anything on the plane. You can save 15% on propolis and all Beekeeper’s Naturals products at beekeepersnaturals.com/wellnessmama with the code wellnessmama

Katie: Hello and welcome to the ”Wellness Mama” podcast. I’m Katie from wellnessmama.com and wellnesse.com, my new personal care line that you can check out. And today I’m gonna give an update on my journey with Hashimoto’s and from beginning to end all of the steps I tried, what worked and what didn’t work, and where I currently am with that because I get quite a few questions about this, especially when I mentioned being in remission and it was very much a decade-long journey for me.

I’m hopeful that some of you can benefit from maybe some of the things I’ve tried. I will say before we jump in that if I’ve learned anything through this whole process, it is just how personalized and individualized health is and especially when you’re dealing with something as intricate as autoimmune disease. I do think a lot of these things, in general, can be helpful in some way to people with lots of different autoimmune disease, but I don’t mean them to be diagnostic or prescriptive. What worked for me, ultimately, was trying a lot of different things and finding the things that worked for me by tracking.

So as I go through all of these different things that worked, I will also say that I have kept a relatively detailed health journal that’s now in digital form actually through… It’s been at some points notes on my phone in Evernote and now lives in Google docs so that I always have it with me and I track things very carefully, including my labs using Heads Up Health, which is a health dashboard.

Anytime I’m trying something new, I’m definitely looking at the empirical data of what’s happening in my body. And I also keep notes on any changes in exercise, in general and dietary stuff, and also sleep and use my Oura Ring as well so that I can see what’s actually working and what’s not. I think that that’s a really important step for all of us, whatever we’re trying to work through in a health perspective, not that we need to be obsessive about it, but just to be able to see trends over time. It’s really helpful to have all of the data in one place.

So starting from the beginning or as much as in the beginning as possible without being too long-winded, years ago about, gosh, almost 14 years, more than 14 years ago now, I was pregnant with my first child. And I had recently finished college and had been in an extremely stressful academic environment. I loved it, but I was pushing myself incredibly hard. I wasn’t sleeping very much. I took 28 hours my final semester while I was pregnant and while I was working on a lot of other projects, so I was extremely stressed. I was not eating much food. And then when I did eat I was not eating very well and I was pregnant. So lots of potential factors all hitting at one time.

And I’ve joked before that if you want to create autoimmune disease, my recipe seems to be don’t sleep, eat really bad food, and be stressed all the time. And that’s enough too, if you’ve got a genetic predisposition, to kind of trigger something. And I think, based on my research at least, a lot of factors can go into it. It can be toxicity from certain things. It can be deficiencies of certain nutrients. It can be stress. Like, stress alone can trigger autoimmune disease from many of the stories I’ve heard from you guys and from my research.

So I think there’s a lot of factors that go in. I’ve explained this almost as like a bathtub concept that if you have a bathtub you can put a lot of different things in it. You could put rocks. You could put kids’ toys, which are usually what are in my bathtub. You could put sand. You could put golf balls. You could put water, Kool-Aid, whatever. You can put a lot of stuff in. But when it reaches the top, no matter what you put in, something is going to overflow. And that’s kind of how I think of health problems and autoimmune disease. And I think some of us maybe have genetically bigger bathtubs and more leeway than others based on genetics. But everybody has that point at which health problems will start.

And so I think there’s a lot of different factors that can go into this. And I think there’s also a lot of different factors that can help clean out the bathtub and reset things. So this was my journey of finding what those things were. At this time in my life, that was where I was health-wise. I was very young. I wasn’t thinking about health problems. I was certainly not thinking about what I ate or what impact it might have on my health. I wish I had thought more about what impact it would have on my child and I wish I had known now all of the things I know to take and to do when pregnant. But at that point, I was pregnant with my first, extremely busy, extremely stressed, and had a tough birth with him, and then was adjusting to life as a mom, which is a relatively large life adjustment to begin with, as well as adjusting to a move and to still being a newlywed. And a lot, and it was just a lot of things that happened at once.

And so, in the beginning, I didn’t fully realize that I was in a health crisis until it got pretty bad because I wrote off a lot of the things that were happening as, “Oh, that’s just because of the pregnancy,” or, “That’s just because of having a new baby,” or, “That’s just because I’m not sleeping,” or all of those different things. But when my oldest son was six weeks old, I was sitting in the doctor’s office waiting for the doctor for my followup appointment. And he was running late because he was delivering another baby. And I read through pretty much every magazine in that waiting room. And one of the last ones I picked up, I believe it was “Time” magazine. And it said that for the first time in two centuries, the current generation of American children would have a shorter life expectancy than their parents.

And that just…it was such a stark contrast. You might’ve heard that part of the story before because it was so, so pivotal for me that day. But to hear that and to think about and read through all these statistics in that article about how they were gonna face such high rates of cancer, diabetes, and autoimmune disease, and heart disease and how everything was drastically on the rise, and looking back mathematically, it didn’t even make sense that in such a short period of time, in such few generations, we could see such drastic changes. And reading that while holding this tiny baby who I was just overwhelmed with love for, it made me so mad that I wasn’t just not okay with that as a new mom with so many hormones. I was not okay with the idea that that was the future for my child or for all of our children.

So something, a ball started rolling that day. Something clicked in my head and I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to or how, but I was determined that I wanted to help change that statistic. I wanted to help change it, certainly for my own children, but hopefully also, for lots of other children because I wanted better than that for our kids. And around the same time, I started just, like I said, noticing some symptoms but largely writing them off as, “Oh, maybe that’s just post-pregnancy,” or, “Maybe it just is harder to lose weight after having a baby,” or, “Maybe it’s normal to be cold when you’re nursing,” or, “Of course, your hair’s supposed to fall out after pregnancy,” and, “Of course, I’m tired because I’m not sleeping.”

And so I just kind of kept writing those things off. But I did have like all of those symptoms. I had trouble losing the weight after my son and then got pregnant with my daughter less than a year later. And so the whole process kind of started again. And in hindsight, I can see almost kind of a snowball effect, having now had six kids within a nine-year period, just how difficult that was on my body, but also how I was able to ignore so many of the symptoms that would line up with Hashimoto’s because they also line up with things like pregnancy and breastfeeding and lack of sleep with being a new mom.

But over the course of having my next couple of children, there were these persistent symptoms and I wasn’t able to lose weight. And I kept thinking, “I wonder if something else is going on.” I would read things in my research about thyroid disease and I kept wondering if that’s what it was. And through my self-research, I think I probably actually made the problem worse in the beginning because at first, I would ask my doctor when I was pregnant to test me for any thyroid issues.

And they do some routine thyroid tests, typically, most doctors during pregnancy, but they were just testing a couple of the hormones. Usually, it was just T3 or sometimes TSH, but nothing else. They were just testing a couple of things. And then if those were normal, they wouldn’t go any deeper. So I was asking for tests and I was being told everything was fine. And increasingly, I kept thinking like, “I don’t think everything is fine,” but I couldn’t get a doctor to help me figure out why. And so then I started taking different supplements that were labeled for thyroid. In hindsight, this probably made things worse because a lot of those supplements are iodine-based. And if you have certain thyroid issues, iodine can be a little bit complicated, to say the least. And so I was taking iodine that probably actually, now understanding my version, made things worse.

And I’ll try to explain a little bit of why. I definitely, again, I’m not trying to give medical advice on this. I think if you even suspect that you have a thyroid issue or any kind of autoimmune disease, it is very, very important to work with a doctor who knows about that condition and who can know your full medical history. I’m just sharing what worked for me. If you do need to find a functional medicine doctor, I use a company called SteadyMD and I will link to them in the show notes at wellnessmama.fm. They have been phenomenal. I worked with Dr. Lauren Jefferis who is highly experienced in this, but I’m back to the iodine note.

So iodine is often recommended if you have thyroid problems because there’s this idea that an iodine deficiency can lead to hypothyroidism or there’s a correlation between low iodine and hypothyroidism. And so a lot of people end up taking iodine, but in some cases it can do more harm than good. And I didn’t learn this for a lot of years. I’ll explain how I learned it in a little while. But basically it depends whether or not… Like, iodine can be both good or bad for the thyroid. And there’s a lot of factors that come into play.

So when the term thyroid problems is a pretty broad category and there’s a lot of actual medical conditions that can fall into that and they all need to be handled differently. So like I said, I found this out the hard way. And after all my initial research and a chiropractor said I needed to start taking iodine. So I did. I took these supplements with iodine and I started feeling a lot worse. And I kind of wrote it off thinking, “Oh, maybe it’s an adjustment reaction.” And I continued taking it, but I eventually had to stop taking it because I didn’t feel any better.

And now I’m seeing research and my own experience that really verify that. So there’s data from a lot of countries that can really kind of speak to the whole iodine thing because a lot of countries started adding iodine to salt to combat hypothyroidism. But then on the flip side of that, they would see rising rates of autoimmune thyroid problems. And so Chris Kresser talks about this. He has a great post. You can Google Chris Kresser in pretty much anything and great articles will come up.

But there’s countries like Sri Lanka, Brazil, Greece, China, and I think others that saw an increase in autoimmune thyroid issues after increasing iodine. And this is because increased intake of iodine, especially in supplement form, they think can increase the potential of an autoimmune attack on the thyroid. And one reason from what I understand might be that iodine reduces the activity of an enzyme called thyroid peroxidase or TPO, which is something that is required for proper hormone production and something that they measure. I’ll talk more about that soon.

But there’s also a confounding factor. So my own treatment plan, I now avoid any supplemental iodine whatsoever. And there is evidence that shows that those with autoimmune thyroid disease can see a benefit from just from avoiding iodine. But on the other hand, those with the iodine deficiency-induced hypothyroidism can benefit from very careful supplementation. But again, it’s that very careful balance and why you’d wanna work with a doctor who knows what they’re doing.

Another researcher I really admire is Dr. Paul J M Annette [SP]. And he talks about another factor that might come into play with the iodine autoimmune relationship. And that’s selenium. So he says that excess intake like of iodine can cause autoimmune thyroid problems that bears all the characteristics of Hashimoto’s but might not actually clinically the Hashimoto’s. And he found that an animal studies this occurs only if the animal is deficient or has an excess of selenium, which is another one we need to get in very careful amounts.

And also in animal studies, very high intake can make a preexisting autoimmune condition worse. But again, only if selenium isn’t too high or too low. So he found that if you’re selenium levels are correct, then your thyroid follicles are healthy, people don’t have goiter in those scenarios, and autoimmune markers go into normal levels. So it seems that there is a really important and very carefully-balanced thing that comes into play with optimizing selenium. And I’ll talk more about that when I talk about supplements I now take. But the bottom line is I think actually made my own thyroid problems worse in the beginning by taking way too much iodine.

So for the next several years, I went through a variety of different doctors that I would try to find locally and asked them to test different thyroid markers or help me try to figure out what was wrong and largely with no beneficial results because they would test the same things. They would tell me everything was normal and that all of the symptoms, the fatigue, the hair loss, the cold, the tired, etc, those were all just normal with being a mom and they’re not. And so if you’re listening, no matter what you think you might be dealing with, I would say don’t settle for being told those things are normal. And unfortunately, sometimes we do have to be very strong advocates in our own health. That is a lesson I’ve learned over and over and all of this that when it comes to actually finding our own health answers, we can find incredible doctors and practitioners who can be amazing partners, but we can never outsource the responsibility because health is so personalized.

And at the end of the day, our best-case scenario is going to require us being patients and n equals, one, and experimenting on ourselves. I went through many, many doctors. I think it was eight by the time I finally started to get answers. And when my fourth child was young, I actually traveled to a health conference with her and had my mom there to help babysit. I was still tired. I still couldn’t lose weight. I was feeling all the emotions of feeling like a fraud at a health conference because I couldn’t figure out how to get the weight off and not being able to get a diagnosis. And I was talking to someone there who said she had had a diagnosis of thyroid problems and it had taken her a long time. And I was like, “Who did you finally see? How did you finally get answers?” And she recommended her doctor, who is now a doctor I’ve worked with and a very close friend, Dr. Alan Christianson. And I will link to his website also in the show notes at wellnessmama.fm. He has incredible resources that you can read and find for free. And he has books on this topic.

But she told me, “I worked with Dr. Alan Christianson. He was able to diagnose me immediately and my entire life changed. I felt so much better.” And for the first time and a really long time, I had this glimmer of hope and it was like, ”Can you please send me his info? I’m willing to work with him. I’ll go anywhere.” And she’s like, ”Oh no, he’s here at the conference.” And I ran into him later that day and I started barely just talking about my symptoms. And before I could even finish explaining all this stuff, he looked at me, he reached out, he actually felt my thyroid, and he said that he would…he wanted to run some labs. But he was pretty sure just based on that that I had Hashimoto’s and that like he could tell that my thyroid was a little bit enlarged. There were likely nodules and based on symptoms he said, “They probably aren’t testing the correct labs. They probably haven’t tested your antibodies,” which was true and, “They probably haven’t identified, but I would…” He said, “I would be willing to bet that you likely have Hashimoto’s.”

And while for some people hearing that might be a bad thing, I was so overwhelmingly excited to just have potentially a glimmer of hope of knowing what it might be and then having a way to try to research and figure out how to get over it that I actually hugged him. I didn’t just want to hug him. I did. And over the next year, he worked with me through lab testing, through all kinds of different methods that I’ll talk about. And I started to see improvement in my symptoms and also in my labs. And he’s now become a very close friend. I absolutely love him.

Like I said, I recommend his books very highly. I recommend his website and his work and he’s also just one of the most fascinating people I have ever met just as a person to hang out with. He’s incredibly smart. He read the encyclopedias before he was five and he now is…he competitively unicycles up mountains. So an incredibly interesting human being, and incredibly smart, and I am forever grateful to him for starting me on this journey to recovery.

So at that point through lab testing, it showed elevated TSH, elevated antibodies, and an ultrasound of my thyroid revealed nodules. So all of those things lined up and led to an official diagnosis of Hashimoto’s. At that point, I started to really wanna understand for the first time autoimmune disease in general, what was going on within my body. I’ll link to a lot of the resources I used to start understanding it in the show notes. I read all of Dr. Christianson’s work. I read a lot from Dr. Tom O’Bryan, some from Dr. Sarah Valentine, Dr. Isabella Wentz. There are so many incredible researchers who have written and shared incredible information about this. And there are differences based on the different types of autoimmune disease, but there’s a lot great resources as a starting point.

In the beginning of treatment, the things that Dr. Christianson and I did together were basically developed a plan based on diet, lifestyle, and careful supplementation and medication for a while. I think that’s an important part to talk about in this story to be able to let my body come back to baseline and recover. In general, I typically try to avoid medication when I can, but I also think that there is a time and a place for certain things. And I don’t ever want to like exclude traditional medical treatment, as I do think there’s a time and a place for that. And I talk about cases, just like for instance, the birth of my third child. I would be dead and so would he without a C-section and without medical care because I had placenta previa.

I think there’s absolutely time and place for conventional medicine. And for me, this meant that I took in the very beginning something called WP Thyroid, which is a natural thyroid supplement. Now, it’s very difficult to get. So I take Nature Throid. And the logic here was that taking that would help give my body a break because my TSH was high. And when your TSH is high, which is a stimulating hormone, those nodules were more likely to grow as well. So in order to hopefully shrink the nodules, I wanted to keep TSH low for awhile. And so I was taking WP Thyroid and now Nature Throid at the end to give my body a break to keep TSH low so that I’d be able to shrink the nodules. And I was using a lot of things like in conjunction with this with a focus on reducing inflammation and trying to figure out the root causes.

Dr. Isabella Wentz has multiple books on this and her website is full of great information on finding your own root causes. I think this part is extremely individualized. So I’m not even going to go deep on what ended up working for me other than the dietary side because I think there are some commonalities there. But things that can potentially be root causes or at least root triggers of these kinds of things are chemicals or toxicities in the body from any variety of different factors, things like an underlying undiagnosed virus. Epstein-Barr is apparently very common and in conjunction, people may not even know they have it and they might have a latent version of some virus in the body that is keeping the body from being able to come back to homeostasis and to recover from something like this.

And so I started really researching and experimenting and delving into all of the things I could do to lower inflammation, to give my body a break, and to let it recover. And I tried a lot of things over the last 10 years to finally get this to happen. And I think that it would be very difficult to say even a number of things that were the actual causes that let me fully recover. But I think there were some contributing factors that were really helpful. I think the common factor is inflammation. So for people who are struggling with this, again, I think it’s very important to find a doctor who you can work with to figure out what are your own root causes and then what do you need to do to address them.

So for me, there was a combination of diet and lifestyle factors. And I’ll talk about some that I mentioned a little bit in past podcast episodes. But it was also really important to note that for me, I had to address all of these factors and be very patient with my body and let all of these things come back into normal, get my hormones in normal range, support my body nutritionally, keep inflammation low, and I was not able to lose weight easily during that entire process. It was not until my body recovered and really came back to baseline that I was able to lose weight. And at that point it was incredibly easy. And I’ve also shared in a recent podcast episode the emotional side of that and how I think really dealing with our stress and emotions is a huge key.

So I’m not gonna go back through that, but listen to episode 309 of this podcast if you want to understand that whole side. In this one, I’m just gonna focus on the medical and nutritional and lifestyle things I did. So one thing Dr. Christianson recommended right away, he said that you know, hormones all work together almost like a symphony and you won’t just have one out of place. They all depend on each other.

So when you end up with something like a thyroid issue or hormones that are not where they should be, you want to make sure you’re supporting it across the board. And one thing he is a big fan of is getting sunlight in the morning. It doesn’t have to be on your skin. You don’t have to get a suntan or a sunburn. In fact, you won’t early in the morning typically anyway. But being outside in natural light as soon as possible after waking up, and I’ve mentioned this before, but I wanna reiterate because it really does make a difference. It’s easy to ignore because you think it won’t make a very big difference just getting outside. But there’s a cascade of hormones in our body that depends on light.

And light has a very important signaling purpose in things like melatonin production, cortisol production, and keeping those things in proper ranges. And if your cortisol is messed up or you’re not making melatonin or you’re not sleeping well because you’re not making melatonin, you are going to have a difficult time getting inflammation down in the body and letting your body recover from something like, for me, Hashimoto’s. So his advice was to spend 30 minutes in the sun. For me, it’s on my porch in the morning as soon as possible after waking up and I often do this sipping tea or having coffee some days.

And so sitting outside with my family in the sun every morning, that is an easy, super simple free thing that we can all do that has, I noticed, measurable changes in my hormone levels from doing. So my cortisol was…actually, when he first tested me, it was the exact opposite of what it was supposed to be. So cortisol is supposed to spike at certain times and fall at others and that signals that your stress levels are in the correct ranges. And mine was doing the exact opposite. And getting sunlight in the morning along with some of these other methods, helped correct that for me.

Another thing that he recommended for me was broccoli sprouts, eating broccoli sprouts every day. And some of these things, at first I doubted like, “Is this actually gonna be beneficial? Like the sunlight, is that actually gonna be helpful?” And I will say I still do these things to this day because I do feel like they make a difference. But he also recommended broccoli sprouts regularly. And the reason for this is broccoli sprouts are high in a substance called sulforaphane. If you have never heard of this, I have a couple of posts on it that I will link to in the show notes. Dr. Rhonda Patrick also has some great posts and podcasts about this. But it’s found in cruciferous vegetables, especially in broccoli sprouts.

There are studies that show that sulforaphane can be anticancer, antimicrobial, anti-inflammatory, which is why I was using it. And there are even studies looking at it to help fight aging and diabetes. And the great thing is this is something inexpensive that you can make at home. I have a tutorial on wellnessmama.com that’ll be linked in the show notes on wellnessmama.fm. But if you haven’t heard of this compound before, I’ll try not to keep this or I’ll try to keep this from being too boring. But so sulforaphane is the name for this cancer-fighting compound that’s found in cruciferous vegetables and especially sprouts.

If you care about the science, sulforaphane is created when the enzyme myrosinase transforms the glucoraphanin into sulforaphane. Hopefully, I pronounced all that correctly. Since myrosinase and glucoraphanin are found in different parts of the plants, this change actually happens when the plant is damaged. So when you chew it or blend it up, then these two compounds mixed together and react and young sprouts or broccoli or particularly good sources of glucoraphanin. And more specifically, sulforaphane is part of a group of plant-based compounds, phytochemicals called isothiocyanates, which in the body, this stimulates the production of important enzymes that fight free radicals. You’ve probably heard of those for their effect on aging in the body.

So inflammation and free radicals are also, they get the blame for a lot of types of cancer. So this is a big deal and there’s a lot of cool research right now happening about these particular phytochemicals and protection against cancer. And since I had nodules on my thyroid, I was very cautious to make sure that those weren’t gonna turn cancerous. And so like I said, sulforaphane is found in all cruciferous vegetables, but much higher in broccoli sprouts and other sprouts.

And these are things you can grow easily at home. There’re studies, like I said, showing that this can boost brain health. It can help with detoxification, which is another factor that’s often present with autoimmune disease. Taking sulforaphane can help increase gludethyon as an NRF-2 activator and also slowing aging. There’s a lot of studies about this, so, and again, it’s an easy thing that he recommended adding in. You can grow them in your own kitchen. I’ve got tutorials in the show notes.

But I also think before I move on, it’s important to talk about cruciferous vegetables because just like the iodine thing, there’s, you know, the conception that you should take iodine if you have thyroid problems. There is also some advice if you start reading into the research on thyroid issues, in general, that you should not eat cruciferous vegetables like broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, brussels sprouts, etc. if you have thyroid problems. And again, the answer to this is a little bit more complicated and nuanced than just whether you should or shouldn’t.

As I started really digging into this, I found that some sources claim that all cruciferous vegetables should be avoided if you have thyroid issues while others say it’s fine to eat them if they’re cooked. You just don’t want to eat them raw. And then I also read, some sources that said, if you’re gonna eat cruciferous vegetables, you need to take iodine. Again, that didn’t work for me, but there was a lot of conflicting information about this. So I asked Dr. Christianson when I first started this and he explained that it’s perfectly safe to consume cruciferous vegetables regularly if you have Hashimoto’s. And here’s why.

He said cruciferous vegetables are, they basically belong to the mustard family and cruciferous vegetables is a broad term for this whole group of things that everything could include bok choy, arugula, Brussel sprouts, cabbage, cauliflower, collard greens, horseradish, mustard greens, radishes, turnips, watercress, etc. And, in general, there’s a lot of benefits to these kinds of vegetables. They contain a lot of phytochemicals and important things. But a lot of people with thyroid issues are hesitant to consume them, especially in large amounts because of some conflicting opinions online.

So in my opinion, like I said, they can be extremely healthy. They contain folate, Vitamin C, E, K, and a lot of phytochemicals that can reduce inflammation. So there’s potential reasons to consume them. The reason people say you might not wanna eat them if you have thyroid issues is that they also contain goitrogens, which are substances that affect the thyroid in certain ways. And goitrogens can interfere with the thyroid’s ability to take in iodine. So that’s also why people say you might wanna take iodine if you’re consuming a lot of those because your body needs that to produce thyroid hormone.

So people are worried about the goitrogenic activity of these. So they say if you have thyroid issues, you should not consume cruciferous vegetables. Before we move on, it’s also important to note that the cruciferous vegetables are not the only foods that contain goitrogens. So if you’re considering avoiding cruciferous vegetables, you also wanna avoid things like peaches, peanuts, red wine, soy, strawberries, sweet potatoes, teas, etc. But for people with Hashimoto’s, goitrogens aren’t exactly necessarily where we should be looking at for problems.

I think that personally, and based on what Dr. Christianson said, I find that the benefits of eating cruciferous vegetables, especially things like broccoli sprouts, outweigh the negatives, even for those with Hashimoto’s. Again, work with a doctor. But from what Dr, Christianson explained to me, you would have to eat an enormous amount of cruciferous vegetables to affect the thyroid negatively. And not too many of us have the problem of overeating vegetables. That’s statistically not what is happening in the U.S.

In fact, there’s only been one case study where someone actually harmed their thyroid by eating too many cruciferous vegetables. And that was an 88-year-old woman from what I remember who developed hypothyroidism, but she was eating several pounds of raw bok choy every day for several months. She probably would have avoided the problem had she just cooked that. Unless you were eating pounds and pounds of raw cruciferous vegetables every day, probably not an issue if you have Hashimoto’s.

I already talked about the iodine side. I also wouldn’t consider taking supplemental iodine without very specific testing and working with a doctor who understands that. But I personally do consume cruciferous vegetables including broccoli sprouts relatively regularly. If you are worried, some ways you can reduce the goitrogen activity while still consuming these, ferment your veggies, cook them, those both deactivate a lot of them ahead of time.

If you’re putting things like kale or spinach into a smoothie, you can blanch them ahead of time and freeze them. The heat will kill most of the goitrogens and then they’re ready to go when you wanna blend them. Again, selenium comes into play. So for me, finding the right amount of selenium and taking it made a big difference and I minimize the iodine as well. So a little bit of a tangent there into cruciferous vegetables and broccoli sprouts. But that did make a big difference for me and I still consume broccoli sprouts regularly. There’s also now a sulforaphane supplement you can take. Historically, it’s extremely hard to isolate sulforaphane into a supplement form. And I have finally found a supplement that does that, so I’ll link to that in the show notes as well.

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I also found that I needed to do very specific exercise. So for me, that meant I only stick to now high-intensity exercise and things like lifting weights. I don’t do any long-form cardio, so I’m not just running miles or on the elliptical. My body and hormones personally respond best to high-intensity training. I use the CAR.O.L bike, which I will link in the show notes, and I’ve done a podcast with the founder of CAR.O.L. And then I do very heavy weight lifting and I’m lifting above my body weight now in most categories. And I feel the best on that.

Sleep was also a huge component of this for me. So I know in early motherhood this was something that probably made it worse, but it was unavoidable, which was not getting enough sleep. If it’s possible to get enough sleep for anyone with autoimmune disease or any kind of health condition, I think that’s a definite place to start. And I’ve written a lot about this before, so I’m not gonna go deep on the sleep issue today, but I will make sure some of the posts are linked in the show notes if you feel like that’s an issue for you.

And then also the dietary side. So without going too, too deep on this, I’ll link in the show notes to a more detailed description of what I did. But for a while after my diagnosis, I went on a very strict autoimmune protocol diet that removed… Basically, the theory is removing a lot of the foods that can be inflammatory and giving the body time to rest and then introducing carefully so you can kind of gauge if you’re responding to different kinds of foods.

It is important to note, like I said in the beginning, based on lab results and lack of nodules on my thyroid, I am considered fully in remission for Hashimoto’s and I do not follow this diet anymore. In fact, I will say this past year, now having worked through the emotional stuff and really found homeostasis, I eat more food than I’ve ever eaten as an adult. I am less restrictive. I still eat very clean at home, but I’m able to eat occasionally things like gluten, sugar. I do eat dairy and none of those both me. I do still have to avoid eggs based on some IgG testing and based on how I feel. But that’s really the only food that I’m not eating at all right now. I think there’s…this is very personalized as well. I’ll link to the test I used to figure out and to constantly monitor that. But in the two years after my diagnosis, I did eat an extremely regimented, very clean diet to give my body time to rest and recover. And I focused on really nourishing it, supporting it with certain supplements based on testing, and just making sure I was flooding my body with nutrients. And it took years for my body to fully recover from that. And like I said, I was not able to lose weight during that time.

Once my body reached balance and once I dealt with everything else and then I dealt with the emotions, the weight loss part became extremely easy. And so I think it’s important to address all of these factors and not expect change to happen overnight. That said, from a broad level, kind of what the diet I did that I think let my body rest, was considered the autoimmune protocol and I’ll link to my post on that topic and also to some books that are really helpful. But basically from my understanding, if the body has an autoimmune reaction, it can sometimes be necessary to removal certain inflammatory foods and inputs for a while so that you can then reintroduce and test the response.

This idea is similar to the theory behind the gaps protocol, which we also did with my son to help with his dairy allergy, but it’s geared towards autoimmunity instead. And basically, from what I understand of this with autoimmune disease, the body’s in a state of increased immune response. So removing these foods can help it not have to fight for a little while and can kind of reduce the autoimmune reaction. I should also say that technically, clinically, an autoimmune disease cannot be cured, which is why I use the word remission instead.

At this point, after my diagnosis, I switched to an autoimmune protocol. And I was pretty amazed at how quickly it helped. So within the first week, I saw my bloating go away, my thyroid felt less swollen, and I had more energy even after the first couple of days. And then I saw skin improvements and energy improvements, and then eventually my hair improved. And this helped me realize which foods were problematic. And like I said, I’ve now been able to reintroduce almost all of these foods, everything but eggs.

So I think it’s…I wanna say that before I tell you just how restricted this protocol is. It’s not usually forever or at least not all parts of it are forever. The general idea is that you’re, like I said, you’re removing any inflammatory foods. If this is new for you, some things that I find helpful, I’ll link in the show notes. The Paleo Mom has a website and also a book, ”The Paleo Approach.” There’s an autoimmune cookbook by Mickey Trescott and her website is Autoimmune Paleo. Those are both really good. I’ll link to those in the show notes at wellnessmama.fm. Basically, a very broad description. On an AIP protocol, you’re avoiding grains, legumes, eggs, dairy, seeds, even seed-based spices and oils, nightshades, so things like tomatoes, peppers, eggplants, etc., nuts, alcohol, and then any other reactive foods.

So for me that included coconut even though that’s not typically on the list. Instead, you’re eating very clean sources of proteins like meats, organ meats, broth, vegetables, except for nightshades, fresh or dried herbs that are not nuts or seeds, certain fruits, nonseed-based spices, lots of healthy fats. I focused on olive oil and then dairy-free fermented foods like sauerkraut. So I have a food list in my post. You can find that in the show notes. It does seem very overwhelming. It is extremely restrictive, but I knew that it was aimed at healing and so I was able to stick to it.

For me, a typical day would be, breakfast would be a scramble of vegetables, some kind of protein, and a cup of bone broth and then supplements. Lunch was almost always a salad with some kind of protein, a little bit of fruit and then bone broth. And dinner, the same thing, some kind of stir fry with protein and a lot of vegetables and then some kind of healthy starch like winter squash, pumpkin, etc.

Another tip from Dr. Christianson is if you’re going to consume carbs to consume them at night because that also…food is another big signaling mechanism in circadian rhythm. So consuming the carbs at night helps signal the body when all the right hormones are supposed to kick in. It also seems to help my sleep. When I first started this I felt like I couldn’t eat anything and I felt constantly deprived. And so it took me about 30 days to really get in the swing of this. I also focused on what I could eat versus what I couldn’t and I consumed a ton of vegetables, especially in that first six months.

And this was also based on the research of Dr. Terry Wahls, who I also really respect. She has a book called ”The Wahls Protocol.” Her focus was on MS, which was what she recovered from. But she talks about the importance of consuming at least nine cups of vegetables a day, which is a ton, three of brightly-colored vegetables, three of leafy greens and three of onions and garlic. And I did that. I actually followed that for about probably four months and I had noticed a difference in my nutrient levels and, and my energy levels as I did that. Like I said, I also think sleep and stress really come into play here and I was taking a very specific group of supplements. This is extremely individualized so I will you what I took over. It is not prescriptive. Please don’t just go take this. Work with someone like SteadyMD to find out what you specifically need.

But for me at this point I was taking, like I said, WP Thyroid medication. I ended up needing to take HCL, betaine HCL with any meals that contain protein because I found I had low stomach acid during that time. So I took HCL anytime and I still take it in smaller amounts. I have weaned down as my stomach acid has naturally improved. I took probiotics. The one I take is Just Thrive. I’ll link to that in the show notes along with the discount. That’s the one I now take. It’s spore-based. So it’s dairy-free, it’s vegan, it’s autoimmune safe, and it reaches the small intestine. It has a higher survivability and you can also open the capsules and even bake with them, put them in a smoothie, etc. to give them to kids because they can survive at temperature.

I make sure to get enough Omega-3s through things like salmon. And then Vitamin D is a big one here as well. There’s a lot of research and Dr. Christianson tested me for this almost immediately, my Vitamin D levels because there’s a strong correlation with low Vitamin D and a lot of health problems including autoimmune disease. So it’s something I test and I also tested my family and my kids and make sure that our Vitamin D levels are not just in safe ranges but optimized. So I actually keep mine about 80. When I first tested it was 17, so it was well below even the conventional low-level Vitamin D. And I think that probably also made a huge difference because while we call it a vitamin, Vitamin D is actually a pre-hormone. So if you don’t have enough Vitamin D, all of your hormones can be off.

Magnesium was also big for me and I used both transdermal magnesium oil and took magnesium supplements and I still do. MagSRT is the supplement I take and I use magnesium oil. I have a recipe for that. On the blog, I’ll make sure those are linked as well. I also took…I made sure to get enough protein and amino acids from things like bone broth and I took a lot of Vitamin C. Zinc and selenium were also important. And like I said, those are ones you want to consume only the right amount, so you don’t wanna just take a ton. More is not better. But I will link to the ones that I take. Again, I would recommend working with someone like SteadyMD or a functional medicine doctor from SteadyMD to really know what you’re doing before you just start taking those and certainly before taking Vitamin D because you can get too much Vitamin D.

I also took a supplement called L tyrosine. Again, not one you want to just start taking just because, but those were all things that were helpful to me. Again, I will link to more detail about all of those things, but these were all factors that for me seemed to make a difference over time. I also avoid very carefully fluoride and chlorine. I have found that both of those are triggers for me and that it’s very hard to get my levels better if I’m exposed to those. I don’t think that’s necessarily the same for everyone, but we have a whole house filter on our house that makes sure that I’m not exposed to those and there’s not fluoride in our water where I live anyway, but I have to be careful about avoiding both of those.

So long roundabout way of saying I used a whole lot of different factors and had to consistently stick with them for a period of years to start seeing changes. I felt an immediate difference in my energy levels and my sleep when I started implementing these things. And that was really encouraging. And also it felt so good just to not feel so bad, but really seeing the full recovery and now being in remission and having my labs reflect that took a very long time.

So I will say like, based on my experience, this is a marathon, not a sprint, and I don’t recommend long-term cardio, but it’s a marathon. So stick with it. Build the habits that let you stick with it and track so that you can see if what you’re doing is having a positive effect. I don’t know that it would be the same for everyone, but for me, I had to get all of these things right before I was able to see the weight loss, before my hair came back normally, before I had all the unlimited energy. And it was a slow process and it also required shifting my mindset, like I talked about in episode 309, from fighting my body to supporting my body because I had reached a point… I was so mad at my body. I felt like it had betrayed me and I realized it had protected me and it was keeping me safe and it was keeping my baby safe while I was pregnant with them. But I needed to be more supportive of my body.

So those are the things that I did. I am now clinically in remission. All of my thyroid levels test normal. I don’t need to take medication. I do still take supplements and I do still follow a lot of these things that I talked about. And at home, I eat probably still very close to that autoimmune diet when we’re home. But if we’re out somewhere or we’re at an event, I’m much, much less strict than I ever, than I used to be. And I’m able to get away with eating a wide variety of foods and not being as restrictive as long as I support my body, make sure I have my sleep and my stress and all of those factors in order.

There’s probably questions I’m not thinking to answer. If you have any, please leave them in the comments at wellnessmama.fm under this podcast and I will try to respond to you directly. And all of the things I’ve mentioned. I have blog posts about all of these, so head over to wellnessmama.fm. If you want to read more about any of these or check out the episodes with Dr. Christianson, Dr. Isabella Wentz, Dr. Terry Wahls, or with my SteadyMD doctor, those all have really helpful resources for autoimmune disease, but I wanted to just share you with you guys an update since I can now officially say that I am in remission and share with how I got there.

I do think it’s a very personalized thing. I hope that some of these will be helpful if you’re in the same place to you and finding the things that are gonna work for you, but I don’t think it’s prescriptive, so I hope that you’re able to pull some beneficial things from that.

And, of course, as always, I am so grateful to you for being here today, for listening to this podcast, and for being part of that change that I talked about at the beginning of hopefully shifting those statistics so that our kids are not living a shorter life expectancy than their parents. Thank you for your time today. Thank you for listening. And I hope that you will join me again on the next episode of the ”Wellness Mama” podcast.

If you’re enjoying these interviews, would you please take two minutes to leave a rating or review on iTunes for me? Doing this helps more people to find the podcast, which means even more moms and families could benefit from the information. I really appreciate your time, and thanks as always for listening.

Source: https://wellnessmama.com/podcast/hashimotos-update/

[brido]

Mike and Vicky Go to Ecuador (Day 3)

When the Spanish missionaries were setting up Old Town Quito on the ruins of Incan temples, they didn’t really take into account that cars would exist in 400 years and an impatient tourist might come to visit from the U.S. and hate being stuck on the narrow streets in traffic, surrounded by city busses spewing an ungodly amount of exhaust in a city whose altitude already leaves you gasping for air. That’s a good place to start Day 3, when my wife and I hopped in a car with my sister and brother-in-law to see the sights of the first city UNESCO’s deemed to be a World Heritage Site.

Our first stop was up El Panecillo to see the massive aluminum Virgin of Quito statue that overlooks the city from a volcanic hill at 10,000 feet above sea level. It was built in 1976 and is actually based on a foot-high wooden sculpture by Bernardo de Legarda in 1734 that the city fucking loves for some reason. I don’t get it and I’m actually trying to. The original looks like something my Irish Catholic grandmother might have kept in her bedroom. But it’s apparently venerated throughout the Andes in the same way Mexicans see the Virgin of Guadalupe, but sans the whole miraculous origin story.

Well, I take that back. The Virgin of Guadalupe appeared at a chapel built on the ruins of a shrine to an Aztec goddess and the Virgin of Quito is high on a hill that the Incas used in their worship of the sun and is based on an original which is permanently displayed in a Franciscan church that was built over the ruins of an Incan temple. Or the home of Atahualpa. Either way, in both cases the Spanish Catholics went smashy smashy build build for Mary. Which basically means that El Panecillo is part Virgin of Guadalupe, part Christ the Redeemer, part Pieta, part Statue of Liberty and all Quito, bay-bee.

Our next stop was down the windy cobblestone hill of El Panecillo to the Basilica of the National Vow. Because no foreign trip with my wife is complete without taking her formerly-Protestant behind to some ornate monument to Catholicism. And there’d be even more of that in a minute. But the basilica is an impressive 19th Century neo-Gothic knockoff of Notre-Dame, complete with gargoyles of animals that are local to Ecuador, like armadillos, iguanas and Galapagos tortoises. Which is actually kind of fun. 

The best part was that an elevator can take you to the top of the basillica, where you can walk nervously across rickety wooden scaffolding and then scale a horrifyingly steep 25-30-foot metal ladder to check out (literally) breathtaking views from the roof. I was scared out of my mind, even at the wooden scaffolding part. But when my sister and wife (who are just girls) happily sauntered across the wooden walkway, I had to talk myself into following after them. My sister bowed out at the metal ladder. But then my wife and brother-in-law basically said, “I’ll go if you go” to the death ladder. And so up we all went. Ohmygod.

The entire time I was at the top (well, there was one last set of steps to go up even higher, but fuck that shit) I was increasingly nervous about how I was supposed to get down from there. Like, do I trust myself to be able to go down backwards down the ladder? Or do I go down the ladder like they’re stairs, where I’d be one slipped heel away from an early demise. I’m getting that fight-or-flight sensation in my stomach just thinking about it now. And at the time, I actually found myself getting angry with how cavalier all the young tourists were on the ladder and the roof like we weren’t all going to die. I distinctly remember looking down and seeing actual cigarette butts on the roof up there, presumably from some health-nut European backpacker who didn’t understand how anything works.

As soon as I’d get the courage to go back down, I’d have to wait for more enthusiastic youngsters to rush up the ladder and then a wave of doubt would rush over me again. Basically, what I’m telling you is that I kind of regret going to the top of that fucking basilica.  

In the end, as I was standing at the ladder waiting for that right mental moment to proceed, the sweaty tourist I hated the most asked me if it was okay if he could go down ahead of me. I obliged. The sweaty tourist I hated the most was actually the first person I saw go down like facing forwards, treating the ladder like they were stairs. So after one or two failed attempts at positioning my own body in a way I could climb down backwards, my wife said, “That one guy just went down facing forwards and I think it looked a lot easier.” That was all I needed to hear. I went facing forward. I made it down. I hated the sweaty guy a little less. And I still don’t like thinking about the way down. I just like the part when I didn’t die. In my brief moment of bravery, I didn’t even give a shit about the rickety scaffolding on the way back. Or the teenager who hit on my wife. The relief I felt from scaling down that ladder was a semi-religious experience in itself. Like I’d found my own personal Jesus at the top of ‘Chrysler 300 Notre-Dame’.

Leaving the basilica also ended up being a bit of a nightmare. At 11 am sharp every Monday, there’s a changing of the guard in Independence Plaza, right in front of Carondelet Palace, where the President, Vice President and the Ministry of the Interior of Ecuador all live. Sometimes the president even comes out and greats the public from a balcony that’s like, feet from the square. All right there in the best preserved colonial city center in the Americas. It’s nuts. 

That’d be like if Independence Mall in Philadelphia still had the President’s House and Donald Trump, Mike Pence, Jeff Sessions and whoever the Secretary of Homeland Security is all lived in that same old house. It sounds like a reality show producer’s wet dream. Or the most expensive security detail in the history of of the universe.

Since we were on a bit of a tight schedule, we had to hop out of our car on one of Old Town’s narrow streets that were never meant to have cars in the first place and rush past the traffic and through the plaza (where there also happened to be a fucking protest) to la Compania de Jesus.

It was a kind of dizzying experience. Would it have been nice to take in the super historic plaza? Sure. But part of that history is secular president/dictator Eloy Alfaro (the guy who renamed the plaza and commissioned a statue to independence) being dragged through that same plaza in 1912 by a pro-Catholic mob before his body was set on fire. Also, the Bishop of Quito was poisoned with strychnine during Good Friday mass at the nearby Cathedral in 1877. And the pro-Catholic president/dictator, Gabriel Garcia Moreno, was also murdered on the palace steps by Freemasons with revolvers and a machete in 1875. I can keep going... Okay, I will. 

In 1949, a radio station in Quito did the same War of the Worlds broadcast stunt that Orson Welles pulled in the U.S. 11 years earlier. It set off a wave of panic in the city with police and fire fighters rushing out to fight the aliens, which actually got much worse when the broadcast was revealed as a hoax. Several people died in the ensuing riots and fires, including the show producer’s girlfriend and nephew. The producer had to flee to Venezuela. I mean, I still felt brave from conquering my fear of heights in the basilica, but I wasn’t taking my fucking chances with any Ecuadorian riots. 

The Church of the Society of Jesus is a super ornate, and gold-leaved Jesuit church they started building in 1605 and didn’t finish until 1765. And it’s deducted major points for not allowing me to take photos inside. I had a hard time following our English-speaking tour guide. But I know she kept mentioning Ignatius of Loyola and Saint Mariana of Jesus de Paredes, the patron saint of Ecuador. All while we were completely surrounded by baroque all-gold-everything and I fumed over not being able to take pictures of anything but a stupid old bell and the outside door that makes La Compania look like a Chinese restaurant.      

My wife said the tour guide did mention the Jesuits getting the boot from King Charles in 1767, but I was probably too grumpy to notice. There was also some lady that just waltzed into our tour group without paying and kept standing uncomfortably close to me. But I guess it’s okay because I was able to look it up later. Essentially what happened is that the Jesuits, who were loyal to the pope, got a little too wealthy and independent for the liking of European empires at the time. Oh, and unlike those European empires, they weren’t cool with enslaving the native populations of the Americas. That was a big factor in the decision to import slaves from Africa, who worked on their land and helped fund their universities and led them to attain the wealth and power feared by people like King Charles III.        

So Charles took a page from Philip IV of France, who got rid of the Knights Templar in 1307. The Jesuits got the boot from Spanish territories, despite the threat of eternal damnation from the pope, a lot of the Jesuits died on their way into exile and the Spanish confiscated their land to be auctioned off to people whose descendants might one day give me a tour of their rose factory. King Charles III is also known for trying to convince the people of Madrid to stop throwing their shit buckets out their windows. So there’s that too.    

The Jesuits were eventually restored after the Napoleonic wars. They’re doing just fine now and Pope Francis even became the first Jesuit pope in 2013. Scorsese made a movie about some Jesuits in 2016. So everything is fine. I mean, it’s really declining in numbers. And Georgetown University had to apologize for slavery a few months ago. But it’s fine. They even have a big gold church in Quito where nobody is allowed to take photos.  

The tour guide told us something I couldn’t understand about a picture of Mary in the church blinking one time or something. There was another miracle she talked about that was depicted on a gold wall about someone turning food into a bouquet of flowers or something. I might have heard it wrong, but I whispered, “That’s a stupid miracle” to my wife, but she shot me a look to be more respectful. And then there was even more stuff about Saint Mariana of Jesus de Paredes, who self-flagellated with the help of an indigenous servant and starved herself to become so pure that when she died, a white lily sprang up from her blood and bloomed on the spot. Again, I couldn’t really follow what the woman was saying. 

Oh, and there was a horrifying copy of Hernando de la Cruz’s El Infierno painting (what happened to the original?), depicting various sinners being tortured in hell for whatever bad thing they did during their life. My sister asked what one of the words meant on the painting and the tour guide said, “This is loan shark.” She asked what another word meant and the guide just said, “Homosexuality.” We moved on. I’m actually frustrated right now that I can’t find more about this stuff Online. Especially since I know that if this shit was in Europe some historian would take it seriously enough to write about it. No word on whether one of the sins in the painting was photography. Yeah, I’m still mad.      

As we headed off to lunch, my sister tried to convince us to go into the Church and Monastery of St. Francis, the same church the Spanish immediately started building after the city was founded in 1534. It’s where the mediocre wooden Virgin of Quito statue is proudly displayed. And right on top of those Incan ruins. There’s also a legend about the church’s architect, Cantuna, making a deal with the devil to finish the atrium, but then removing a brick to get out of his deal. That all sounded great to me, but my wife and I really had to pee. So we headed across the plaza to Casa Gangotera where I found a bathroom.

Casa Gangotera was another memorable, if not stuffy, dining experience. It’s a hotel and the former home of some Spanish gazillionaire in old timey Quito. Victoria and I were talked into the tasting menu, which was way too much food yet again. But I hate to admit that some of the courses were better than the versions we got at Chilcabamba the day before. I even tried llama meat. Remember yesterday when my guide said llama meat was better than beef? Well, it’s not. And I still hadn’t yet decided whether or not I was brave enough to eat cuy.

Our final excursions of the early afternoon were to go shopping at La Mariscal craft market and then to Olga Fisch Folklore (Olga Fisch is credited with recognizing the quality of the local, traditional handicrafts and making them popular again) to see local, traditional handicrafts we couldn’t afford. 

One of my favorite things to do when visiting a foreign place I’ve never been to before, besides looking at a Frommer’s guide or searching for information Online, is to see what the locals find important about their own country by looking in the gift shops. Besides the coffee and chocolate and Panama hats and blankets and leather goods and animal masks and humming bird statues that every Ecuadorian store seemed to sell, La Mariscal also introduced me to Oswaldo Guayasamin (who I’ll get to on another day) and the Cucuruchos, whose figurines looked as much like Orko from He-Man as they did the purple Klan. I should probably explain. 

Spain has the tradition of the Capirote, which originated in the Inquisition as a symbol of humiliation (like a dunce cap), and that tradition was carried over into a form of public penance during Easter ceremonies. The same is true with the Cucuruchos, who parade barefoot through Old Town Quito on Good Friday, carrying crosses and flagellating themselves during the procession. The best view of the whole thing is supposedly even at Casa Gangotera. Anyway, the anti-Catholic KKK might have borrowed the costume design for their own super terribleness. I’m guessing American tourists like to buy the figurines of the Purple Klan to shock their friends at home while simultaneously being able to go, “What? It’s not the Klan!” And then pronouncing it ‘la cucaracha’ because everything south of America is Mexico.  

I don’t know. I half-heartedly insisted I wanted to see a real Cucurucho for the rest of the trip. That, and I kept quoting my 2007 Frommer’s guide by saying I wanted to eat at Zazu, “the best and hippest spot in Quito.” Just because I liked saying ‘Zazu’ and also noticed that nobody in Quito thinks that statement about its best-ness or hip-ness is true. 

My sister did tell me that there was a place called Cafe Plaza Grande (right next to Carondelet Palace) that has a Cucurucho serve people ice cream and pose with them for horrifying photos. On the Philadelphia president house reality show, Jeff Sessions and Donald Trump would fucking love that place! Ice cream and the Klan? Jesus. But everyone in my family was adamant that any photo with a Cucurucho could be taken out of context on social media and the whole thing would be a bad idea. It’s for the best. We did buy a bunch of other stuff at the market though. And this concluded Day 3.

[just-jordie-things]

300 FOLLOWERS!? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH GUYS SO I WENT THRU AND ANSWERED THE ASKS

1. what’s your favorite food?

i think sushi.  smoked eel nigiri roll, and trust me, it’s amazing

2. do you have any ‘special’ talents?

maybe writing idk i’m an average writer

3. what’s your zodiac sign?

leo

4. have any siblings? older or younger? brother or sister? do you get along?

younger brother, and we’re like best friends.  we get into a lot of trouble together

5. what was your first ship?

the first one i was head over heels for would be scallison.  still am.

6. how old are you?

16 in july

7. if you had to get married right now, who would you choose and why?

ummm dyaln o’brien? sorry that was an unrealistic question i’m probably always gonna answer with him.  a l w a y s

8. any interesting life mini stories?

ok so last summer, i was hanging out with my bff @taegdcl1018, and she lives by the playground so we went to hang out there.  it was real chill, swinging and listening to music and stuff.  and when i got up and started walking, there was A BEE ON MY SHIRT.  so i screamed, and started wigging out, and of course brooklyn is like ‘girl chill’ (and tbh bees don’t scare me that much) anyways, this bee is still on my shirt, and im running around, and it’s still stuck on it.  and THAT my sweeties, is how i took my shirt off in a public playground.  NO WORRIES THO! there was no one around besides me and my bff, and she gave me her over shirt thingy before we left.  (also, it’s still difficult for me to wear that shirt.  it’s like i have PTSD)

9. who are your favorite artists/musicians right now?

melanie martinez, twenty one pilots, lana del rey, halsey, marilyn manson, blue october, blackbear, arctic monkeys, and kaleo

10. Want kids? Why?

i like the idea, but i think i’d say no.  i’m just not that responsible, not enough to care for a little person who would need me

11. hobbies?

writing, reading, playing piano, drawing, collaging (if that’s how you’d put it?) and editing

12. any pets?

oui, a chihuahua named delilah that my friends and i call taco

13. favorite ship(s)?

STYDIA MALEC MALIRA SCALIA AND MANIGGY

14. best cartoon?

Bob’s Burgers.  I love it.

15. best friends?

@taegdcl1018 and @peter-andhislostgirls.  they’re my besties.  we’re mermaids.

16. what color are your eyes?

morning sky blue lmao

17. what is your relationship status?

utterly single but flirting 

18. favorite pair of shoes?

PURPLE CONVERSE I PAINTED WHITE AND USED SHARPIE TO WRITE STUFF ON

19. favorite snapchat filter?

the bunny with the snow lol

20. favorite book?

The Replacement, by Brenna Yovanoff

21. opinion on drugs/alcohol?

gross.  i don’t like to judge, but I don’t like people throwing their lives away.

22. dream vacation?

Los Angeles.  everywhere there, just walking in the streets and listening to music

23. how many pictures are on your phone?

2,030

24. best ice cream flavor?

chocolate chip cookie dough with hot fudge 

25. where do you go to shop?

hot topic and forever 21 are my favorite

26. favorite class?

enriched english.  from the literature we get to read and the comedic of a teacher, it’s just great.

27. most embarrassing memory?

um, did you not read the story about the bee on my shirt?

28. what’s one of your favorite memories?

spending one of my bffs birthday watching horror movies in our underwear and hello kitty blankets.  there was also home made cake and doggos involved

29. what are your five most frequently played songs?

1. Where’s My Love - Syml 2. Drive - Halsey 3. Killing Strangers - Marilyn Manson 4. Hard For - Kevin Gates 5. Crazy In Love - Beyonce (um the 50 Shades of Grey remix…)

30. play any instruments?

piano and i used to know guitar and ukulele but it’s been a while

31. best breakfast meal?

chocolate chip pancakes with a shit ton of butter

32. who was the last person you called?

@taegdcl1018 for 2 hours and 17 minutes last night.  we discussed doing a collab ;)

33. fries or onion rings?

fries

34. daytime or night time?

night time.  it’s much more peaceful and overall more beautiful

35. how many languages do you know?

english and I’d like to say french, but i’m not fluent so i don’t think it counts

36. if you could only date one character from Teen Wolf, who would you date? why?

Malia Tate.  I feel like we could really teach each other things and she’d be overprotective and cute and yeee

37. best friend IRL and best friend via social media?

BEST FRIENDS IRL @taegdcl1018 and @peter-andhislostgirls and my best friends via social media are @failingmemequeen and Sarah (who doesn’t have a tumblr)

38. favorite picture?

there’s one my friend took in the lunch room last year, a selfie of her and my other bffs

39. fanfiction or fanart?

fanfiction 

40. when did you first start writing fanfics?

two years ago, my first teen wolf was a scallison one that i wrote before i even watched the show

41. favorite type of noodle?

the mac and cheese that looks like shells

42. favorite summer activity?

writing outside lol

43. if you could take a pic with one character at Disney, who would you choose?

alice from alice in wonderland.  i just love her.

44. best season of Teen Wolf?

i’m stuck between 3b and 6a

45. ok do you watch ANYTHING other than Teen Wolf?

I do! The Walking Dead, Riverdale, The Fosters, American Horror Story, Shameless, Orange is the New Black, Shadowhunters, Friends, and Pretty Little Liars

46. apple or samsung?

apple.  duh.

47. an annoying experience that you would like to vent about?

one time this girl told me if a man punches a woman, she should be grateful.  she claimed it was because of gender equality, which i am ALL for, but i thought it was disgusting, because if ANYONE punches you, no matter the gender, honestly i think you should just go ahead and punch them back

48. favorite pop tart flavor?

hot fudge sundae

49. McDonald’s, Burger King, or Wendy’s?

BK I can’t say no to a hershey pie

50. would you rather fly or be invisible?

hahahaa be invisible then my embarrassing moments wouldn’t be noticed

51. favorite board game?

candyland or monopoly 

52. circus or magic show?

magic show bc my brother loves magic tricks and i always get to see him try them and it’s just funny

53. waterpark or amusement park?

amusement park, i love rollercoasters and thrills!

54. any sentimentally valuable possessions?

my grandmothers first engagement ring, she gave it to me

55. what’s your favorite mode of travel?

car trips

56. what piece do you choose to be in Monopoly?

the top hat.  i love hats.

57. when was the last time you cried? why?

yesterday because i read SUCH a good stiles angst i teared up

58. favorite Marvel character?

ooh….um…. if i HAD to choose, i think i’d have to choosequicksilver from the X-Men franchise.  woot woot evan peters!

59. any nicknames?

yea: potato, captain crunch, and scoot.

60. what will be/is your senior quote?

“if someone from the future doesn’t come to stop you from doing something, then how bad can it be?

61. play any sports?

HELL NAH

62. if you were stranded on an island and had to bring 3 other people, who would they be and why?

my besties brookie and tay, and dylan o’brien cuz i’m gonna need entertainment somehow

63. lucky numbers?

8, 88, 666, and 18

64. label yourself (ethnicity, gender, sexuality etc)

i’m a white, bisexual, atheist woman

65. dogs or cats?

i love both so much but kittens man…

66. scooters or skateboards?

scooters.

67. favorite DC character?

harley quinn by far

68. bugs bunny or daffy duck?

daffy duck

69. are you sexually expierienced? (lol iyt #69 so i had to)

does reading smut count?

70. did you have a valentine this year?

I DID! 

71. vlogging or blogging?

so i do have a tumblr and technically it’s called a blog but i mean it’s not really a blog.  and sometimes my friend and i pretend to be vloggers so i guess vlogging

72. pandas or polar bears?

panda bears

73. favorite hello kitty character?

tuxedo sam

74. if you were going to travel to another country, where would you go?

Savoy France, to see a girl that I’ve become friends with and have wanted to see for a while

75. most used emoji?

the squid.  it just looks so happy and joyful.  i use it to tell people i love them

76. why did you start writing?

fanfiction? bc i was disappointed in jeff davis for killing off an angel who didn’t deserve it.

77. favorite fanfic?

I CAN’T CHOOSE!!! everything @writing-obrien has ever done

78. what’s your favorite show to binge?

teen wolf and riverdale

79. dresses or skirts?

i like both but i’m always in jeans.  but probably skirts 

80. favorite app?

tumblr duh

81. favorite word?

mechanical

82. what’s your favorite thing to write about?

stiles imagines and things about trees

83. who is your inspiration? for anything really

writing-obrien aforementioned for writing.  and twenty one pilots for music

84. would you rather go to neverland or wonderland?

wonderland! I want an unbirthday tea party!

85. favorite actor?

dylan o’brien

86. favorite actress?

crystal reed

87. favorite youtuber?

brandon rogers.  11/10 RECOMMEND WATCHING

88. if you could live in any fantasy land where would you pick and why?

still wonderland, because i feel like it’d just be so much fun lol

89. sleeping or eating?

ooh that’s a toughie.  probably eating.  I’m a high class food slut

90. favorite letter of the alphabet?

Z

91. fruits or veggies?

fruits

92. modern or ancient?

both?

93. smut, fluff, or angst?

fluff is my #1 but i like it all

94. if you were to go into a battle, what would be your weapon of choice?

probably a unicorn horn.

95. unicorns or pegasuses?

more unicorns!

97. thoughts on swearing?

swearing is so fucking dumb.  like why fucking do that you fucking fuck?  lmao swearings ok in the appropriate places.  not in a kindergarden classroom, but who cares if you’re at a bar?

98. reading or writing?

UGH WHY MAKE ME CHOOSE! I’M SKIPPING THIS ONE

99. big cities or small town country sides

big cities

100. east coast or west coast?

livin on the east coast but dreamin of the west

101. what do you love about your favorite character?

i love the way she really delves into her emotions, even though everyone thinks she doesn’t really have any, you can really tell what she’s feeling through her eyes, and that’s hard to do when it’s on a screen and not written in a fanfiction

thank you guys so sooo much for 300 follows! it made me tear up this morning, and means a lot to me that people actually like and enjoy my writings and i really hope that the only way i can go, is up, and i just really hope that i still have the love and support you guys give to me :) big hearts and big hugs for every one of you

[underabr0kensky]

In case anyone wants to know more about me

1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed, I have so much shit in front of them I can’t open them.

2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? Not usually because I use it all.

3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? Tucked in. What the fuck do you think I am, a barbarian?

4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before? Nope, but the street sign for the street I grew up on got stolen constantly because “Roger” is a common name.

5: Do you like to use post-it notes? Nope. I think I’ve used them like once.

6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? Nah, fuck coupons.

7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? Bees. I’d probably survive that.

8: Do you have freckles? I do not.

9: Do you always smile for pictures? I never open-mouth smile.

10: What is your biggest pet peeve? I’m not sure, I have a lot. Probably one-word text responses. If you send me “K” I’ll burn down your house.

11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk? Nope.

12: Have you ever peed in the woods? Yes.

13: What about pooped in the woods? No, I’m not a filthy beast.

14: Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing? Sometimes, yeah. I just bounce to a rhythm. Also I’ll have you know that I had to correct “theres” in this question. Get your shit together.

15: Do you chew your pens and pencils? Nope.

16: How many people have you slept with this week? That’s a big zero, you ass.

17: What size is your bed? Queen-sized, because I’m a queen.

18: What is your Song of the week? I don’t have one. Maybe something epic by Two Steps from Hell.

19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Yes, who gives a fuck what colors anyone wears? Some guys look damn good in pink. I am not one of them.

20: Do you still watch cartoons? Yep. Anime too! They are different go fuck yourself.

21: Whats your least favorite movie? Man of Steel. It’s legitimately the worst film I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? Under a DMV. Nobody would ever voluntarily go to a DMV or spend more time there than they absolutely have to.

23: Bra size or pants size? I actually don’t know my pant size. I think it’s changed recently because I’ve gotten bigger from working out and now none of my pants fit comfortably.

24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Nothing, I’m not a dipping sauce person.

25: What is your favorite food? Anything Italian. Probably lasagna.

26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love? School of Rock, A Christmas Carol (the George C. Scott version), 300, Casino, Goodfellas, all the Tremors films, the Harry Potter films, LoTR, the Hobbit films, I could keep going. I like movies.

27: Last person you kissed/kissed you? Destinee, that was back in like October. My existence is a lonely one.

28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout? Yeah, a looong time ago.

29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? For money, why not?

30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? Sometime in January of last year.

31: Can you change the oil on a car? Yeah, it’s not hard.

32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket? Nope, and I have no idea how, because I speed literally everywhere I go.

33: Ever ran out of gas? I’ve never been driving while running out of gas, but I have pulled into the gas station with my car coughing at me because it was so low.

34: Favorite kind of sandwich? PB+J. I am a simple man.

35: Best thing to eat for breakfast? A flour tortilla with bacon, scrambled eggs, and refried beans. Fuck I’m hungry now.

36: What is your usual bedtime? When I have work I’m not up past 9 PM, I’m usually in bed before then. When I don’t have work I’ll stay up until I physically can’t anymore.

37: Are you lazy? As fuck.

38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? I dressed as Ghostface from Scream most of the time. I had a mask that pumped fake blood into it whenever I squeezed this rubber heart attached to it and it freaked everyone out.

39: What is your Chinese astrological sign? Monkey. I had to look this up.

40: Are you horny? Actually, yeah. Fucking horny as fuck and it’s pissing me off.

41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions? National Geographic, Rolling Stone, and I think one other one. I can’t remember.

42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs? Who the fuck would pick Lincoln logs over Legos?

43: Are you stubborn? Mules complain about how stubborn I am.

44: Who is better...Leno or Letterman? I’m not a fan of either.

45: Ever watch soap operas? Only one, Dark Shadows. I loved that show as a kid.

46: Are you afraid of heights? Nope.

47: Do you sing in the car? All the time. It’s how I practice my singing usually.

48: Do you sing in the shower? Sometimes.

49: Do you dance in the car? Oh yes. Headbang too.

50: Ever used a gun? Many times. I like shooting.

51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? I have no idea. A long time ago.

52: Do you think musicals are cheesy? Hell no, I love musicals.

53: Is Christmas stressful? I never used to think so, but now that I work retail, fucking yes.

54: Ever eat a pierogi? Mhmm. They’re good.

55: Favorite type of fruit pie? I don’t really care for fruit pies, but probably pumpkin.

56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? A demolition derby driver, and a paleontologist.

57: Do you believe in ghosts? I’d like to. I think there’s some pretty compelling evidence but I’ve never seen anything myself so I’m still skeptical.

58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? All the time.

59: Take a vitamin daily? Nah, I should though.

60: Wear slippers? Nope.

61: Wear a bath robe? Nope.

62: What do you wear to bed? Usually just a shirt and my underwear. Sometimes just my underwear. Sometimes nothing.

63: First concert? Killswitch Engage with Parkway Drive, Every Time I Die, and Escape Plan.

64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Well I work at Wal-Mart. So either of the other two.

65: Nike or Adidas? Fuck both. Overrated and overpriced.

66: Cheetos Or Fritos? Fritos forever.

67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Peanuts.

68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? Who?

69: Ever take dance lessons? Yes. Salsa dancing.

70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Nah, as long as she’s doing something she loves I don’t care. Unless it’s like contract killing or something.

71: Can you curl your tongue? Yep. It helps me play harmonica.

72: Ever won a spelling bee? Yeah, a bunch of times.

73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yeah I have.

74: Own any record albums? Nope. My dad does though.

75: Own a record player? See above.

76: Regularly burn incense? I used to.

77: Ever been in love? Yeah. Once.

78: Who would you like to see in concert? Children of fucking Bodom goddamn it I’ve missed them three times

79: What was the last concert you saw? Danimal Cannon and Dethlehem.

80: Hot tea or cold tea? How about no tea?

81: Tea or coffee? Fucking neither.

82: Sugar or snickerdoodles? Snickerdoodles.

83: Can you swim well? I can swim well enough to not look like a complete ass in the water.

84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yeah.

85: Are you patient? Nah, not usually.

86: DJ or band, at a wedding? Band. I’m not gonna be dancing to shitstep.

87: Ever won a contest? Yep. I won a contest in Kindergarten to go to O’charley’s in a limo, and I won another one several years later and got to talk to Arnold Schwarzenegger on the phone :)

88: Ever have plastic surgery? Fuck no.

89: Which are better black or green olives? I hate olives.

90: Can you knit or crochet? Nah.

91: Best room for a fireplace? Living room.

92: Do you want to get married? Yes.

93: If married, how long have you been married? I am not married.

94: Who was your HS crush? I dated the same girl throughout most of high school.

95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? Nah.

96: Do you have kids? Fuck no.

97: Do you want kids? Fuck no.

98: Whats your favorite color? Black. Also, what’s*

99: Do you miss anyone right now? I sure as hell do. Two people.

[erizee]

got tagged by @excessively-english-jd ! :D thanks

1. why did you choose your url

ok so dont make fun of me for this but i chose it years ago when i was much more into homestuck than i am now and i didnt know how ship names work so. its 13 year old me's 2 favourite homestuck characters lmao. id change it but now its just My Name so

2. any side-blogs? if so, name them & why you have them

i also have @onlyforl8r & @refstoremembermine but theyre both just collections of stuff to look at later so theyre not like. Actual side blogs. i also have a ~secret personal trans stuff~ side blog but im not saying what it is lol

3. how long have u been on tumblr

since november (?) 2013 but i only rly started using it sometime in 2014 bc i didnt get how it works before that lmao

4. do u have a queue tag

nope im wayy too lazy to actually make a queue i just post everything live

5. why did u start ur blog in the first place

my friend convinced me to get it (if u see this hi lol)

6. why did u choose ur icon/pfp

i was super into mcr when i was 15 & i kept seeing gerard called "gee", which rhymes with "bee", so i drew gerard way as a bee. havent changed it since, its been 6 years

7. why did u choose ur header

its cute! its from my 1st town in animal crossing having coffee with one of my fave villagers in a trans shirt so it just fits too well

8. whats your post with the most notes

i assume this means posts we made ourselves bc thats the only thing ill find. anyway i only have 2 posts w more than 300 notes & theyre 1) a 671 note post about how everyone in venom (including venom) is rly hot & 2) a 602 note screenshot from the 3rd gotham season finale w a tumblr post screenshot "selling my feelings on ebay" on it. if ur curious theyre tagged for fandoms & i only tag my own posts so u can easily find them on my blog i think

9. how many people do u follow

oh god i have no idea, i barely ever unfollow people i just turn notifications off so its probably above 1000

10. have u ever made a shitpost

i mean yea ive had this blog for 8 years i 100% made stupid jokes on here before lol

11. how often do u use tumblr

its Thee social media i use so. every day many times a day lol. probably too much but eh who cares

12. did u ever have a fight/argument with a blog? who won?

nothing specific as far as i can remember but i used to be rly into one fandom a few years ago and there was a Huge mess going down there at the end. i wasnt involved but i knew/was mutuals with most ppl that were so

13. how do u feel abt "u need to reblog this post"

rly depends on my mood/what its about, sometimes ill reblog it & sometimes i wont

14. do u like tag games

yea! tagging other ppl is always rly hard because i never know if its okay or if im annoying ppl so i usually just do the answers & dont tag anyone lol but i Do like tag games!

15. do u like ask games

if thats what i think it is ("say sth & sent this to people") then :/ idk im not a fan, its like a tag game except u need to ask other ppl Much more directly & its terrifying lol

16. which of ur mutuals do u think is tumblr famous

uh idk? honestly i dont even know who im mutuals with for some ppl i know but im not checking my follower list that much so idk

17. do u have a crush on a mutual

(movie voice) "uh i have a boyfriend" lmao. no but seriously i dont rly get crushes nearly ever the "regular" way & it definitely never happens over tumblr for me

im tagging uhhhh @idkjustbreath, @scumlow, @geislieb & @cricketchirps

no pressure to answer but it would be nice :)

[rationalsanskar]

Mindfulness for Moms With Ziva Meditation | Wellness Mama Podcast

Child: Welcome to my Mommy’s podcast.

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Katie: Hello and welcome to the Wellness Mama Podcast. I’m Katie with wellnessmama.com and I’m here with Emily Fletcher, who is the founder of Ziva Meditation and world renown expert on meditation as a path to extraordinary performance. Her book, “Stress Less, Accomplish More” is a must read and one of the best books out there if you are looking to detox emotionally and mentally. She has taught more than 20,000 students around the world, including leaders at Apple, Google and Harvard Business school. And she’s also helped this very Type-A Mom to learn how to meditate as well. And I love how her approach is that we meditate not to get better at meditation, but to get better at life. And we talk about that and so much more today and I know that you will enjoy this episode as much as I did. Without further ado, let’s join Emily.

Emily, welcome. Thanks for being here.

Emily: What a joy to get to be here. Thank you for having me.

Katie: I am so excited to chat with you. I first met you or knew of you at an event a couple of years ago when you spoke, and one of the things that you said that really resonated with me was that we meditate to get good at life, not to get good at meditation. And that’s when I started paying attention to you actually because I had never been great at meditating and the idea of, like, clearing my mind was not something that was ever gonna happen to me. And so I think, like, when you said that, I started listening to what you were saying and realized you had this whole different approach. So, I wanted to start there. Why is that such an important distinction when we start talking about meditation?

Emily: Because so many people are exactly like you in that they’ve tried meditation. They felt like a failure because they couldn’t clear their mind. They assume that it’s just not for them, and then they potentially rob themselves of a lifetime of more productivity, more energy, more happiness because they’re judging themselves based on misinformation. So many people are trying to clear their mind because some yoga teacher somewhere said, “Just let your thoughts go.” And so, it’s we have a world full of ex-meditators when this doesn’t have to be the case because the point is not to clear the mind. The point really is to be happier, to have more energy, to have better sleep, to have a better immune system, and to be kinder with your kids. Like, that’s why we do this stuff. No one cares if you’re good at meditation.

Katie: Yeah, that’s I think such an important point. Most of us are not trying to reach, like, monk level of, you know, meditation in our daily lives. We want it to be practical, and that makes so much sense when you explain it. I feel like meditation has had such a time in the sun that most people probably are really familiar with it. But I also feel like there’s a lot of misconceptions. So, to get really basic for a second, walk us through what actually is the definition of meditation. What does that mean?

Emily: So, the simplest definition would be a stress-relieving tool, but that definition I think is too vague because if that’s your only criteria, then so is a bottle of wine, so is bingeing on Netflix, you know, so is smoking pot. And it’s funny. When I tell people I’m a meditation teacher, they’re like, “Oh, cool, exercise is my meditation,” or, “Cooking is my meditation.” I’m like, “Y’all cooking is called cooking, and exercise is called exercise, and meditation is called meditation. That’s why they have their own words.” So, I think a stress-relieving tool is not quite specific enough. Now, what we teach at Ziva, which is the name of my company, we teach a type of meditation that’s giving your body rest that’s five times deeper than sleep, and I’m gonna say that again because I think especially for moms, that’s a really exciting factor. This style of meditation is giving your body rest that is five times deeper than sleep.

So, it’s kind of like a supercharged power nap that you can do in 15 minutes without the sleep hangover, but on the other side, you’re even more awake. And the other really important point here is that in this style of meditation, you’re not only handling your stress from today, you’re also going in and healing all your stress from the past. And this is really important because most of what people are calling meditation, meaning most of the free apps out there, most of the guided things on YouTube, most of the drop-in studios, are actually teaching what I would call mindfulness. And mindfulness and meditation are oftentimes being used as synonyms, but they are not the same thing. And so, the big distinguishing factor between the two is that mindfulness is all about focusing, and it’s very good at dealing with your stress in the now. So, let’s say you have a crazy day with your kids. You go to work. You come home. Your kids are out of control. You’re really stressed. You do 10 minutes of headspace or calm or something. And it handles your stress in the now like a state change, like taking an aspirin if you have a headache.

Now, what I’m teaching at Ziva is not only handling your stress from the now, but it’s also getting rid of all your stress from the past. It’s going in and healing things cellularly, and now we even know it’s healing things on an epigenetic level, which is what we’ve inherited from our parents and what we pass onto our children. And this is big because it’s ultimately eradication of the backlog of stresses that we have in ourselves. If we do that, this is what gives us a return on the time investment. So, for 15 minutes invested in your meditation because you’re getting rid of the stress that you’ve been storing in your body, that stuff that’s making us all stupid, sick, and slow, and you start to have more time in your day because your brain gets faster. Your immune system is stronger. Your creativity is more tuned in. Your intuition is stronger.

And so, this is why I find especially with Ziva that the ROI is just higher. And this is, I think maybe it takes me to the other misconception around meditation is that it’s not… The first is people think they can’t clear their mind, which we can talk about more, but the other is that people think that they’re too busy, and we’re all too busy to waste our time. None of us have time to waste. And if you’re just doing 10 minutes and then getting yourself out of triage, but ultimately not healing the root cause, then I would say that’s not a really great investment of your time. But if you’re going in and not only feeling better in the now but actually handling the very root cause, the cause of the anxiety, the cause of the insomnia, the cause of the overwhelm, then this becomes a very productive and valuable investment of your time.

Katie: That makes sense. And honestly, if I think back even a couple of years ago, I think I would have still been a lot more skeptical of just how dramatically something like that can impact your biology until I had an experience myself actually because I had trauma in high school. And I thought I had dealt with it and I had done all the talk therapy. And I thought I was totally fine. And then I had a type of bodywork combined with just being in a situation that got me out of my comfort zone. And, like, I had this entirely different type of emotional release happen to the point that literally, like, my body shook for an hour. It was like when you see an animal almost get killed, and then they’re fine, and all that adrenaline has to come out.

It was like a decade of adrenaline, just, like, shaking out of my body. And that alone, my body has changed so much in the past few months with my diet, lifestyle, everything staying exactly the same. So, I’m definitely now much more of a believer of just how drastically our mental state and our emotions can really, really impact our physiology, like dramatically impact us. I’m a nerd, though, so I’d love to go a little deeper, and can you explain, like, biochemically and physiologically what’s happening in the body when we meditate? Like what are some of the pathways that we’re activating? Are we going into parasympathetic or what are some of the ways it’s affecting us?

Emily: Yes. Thank you for asking that. And also, thank you for illustrating so beautifully the difference between what I would call a software upgrade and a hardware upgrade. So, you know, not all of us, but a lot of us have done the talk therapy for years, and I would call that a software upgrade. You know, it’s you changing your operating system. It’s changing the lens through which you see the world. But this meditation work and that somatic work or energy work and bodywork, it is oftentimes healing things on a cellular level. It’s changing your nervous system, so it’s giving you a hardware upgrade. It’s like upgrading your computer, and then, ultimately, you can run more elegant software if you have a more advanced computer. And so, at the end of the day, we’re gonna have to do both. We’re going to have to uplevel the hard drive and the software. So, thank you for illustrating that so beautifully.

Okay, so let’s dive down the nerdy science rabbit hole. So, when the body launches into fight or flight, then we go into sympathetic, which is the body is basically preparing for a predatory attack. This comes out of, you know, millions of years of evolution of protecting us from tigers, and lions, and bears. So, let’s say you’re in the woods, and a tiger jumps out at you with the intent to kill. Your body will launch into a series of chemical reactions. The first thing that happens is your digestion will flood with acid because we need to shut down digestion because we can’t waste any of that digestive energy.

We need all that energy to fight or flee the tiger. That same acid will seep onto your skin so that you don’t taste too good if you get bitten into by the tiger. Your bladder and bowels evacuate so you can be light on your feet. Blood thickens and coagulates so that if you get bitten into, you don’t bleed to death. Your vision will narrow. Your immune system goes to the back burner because who cares if you’re going to get cancer if you’re about to be killed by a tiger? Like, again, we need all hands on deck.

So, this series of chemical reactions is very useful if your demands are predatory attacks, but if your daily demands are kids, and in-laws, and deadlines, and school projects, and emails, and traffic, the fight or flight thing has become maladaptive. It’s disallowing us from performing at the top of our game. This backlog of accumulated stresses is making us stupid, sick, and slow as a species. And so, when we start meditating, what happens is we go in, and within 30 to 45 seconds, we de-excite the nervous system, which means that metabolic rate decreases, which doesn’t mean you’re going to gain weight. This is the rate with which the body consumes oxygen.

So, your breathing slows, your heart rate slows, your body temperature cools. And then within less than a minute, your brain is producing dopamine and serotonin, which are alkaline in nature. And they are basically nature’s antidote to cortisol and adrenaline, which are stress hormones and those are acidic by nature. And if you’ve ever studied Ayurvedic medicine, acid equals inflammation. And inflammation we know is the basis of all chronic disease. And so, if we are chronically inflamed, if we’re chronically stressed, then the body is just a little bit too acidic or a little bit too hot.

And so, when we start meditating, not only do we clear out the adrenaline and cortisol, we start flooding the body with dopamine and serotonin, which are alkaline in nature. And this is why, according to Tufts and… I forget the name of the other university, but there’s two universities who have done studies on how meditation can reverse your body age. Tufts says eight years. And I think it’s Wake Forest, actually, says somewhere up to 15 that you can reverse your body age by somewhere between 8 to 15 years with meditation. And there was another study that came out, so just saying that you can reverse your brain age, that the average meditator at 50 has the brain of a 25-year-old.

And this is based on neurogenesis, neuroplasticity, and also the strengthening of something called the corpus callosum, which is the thin white strip that connects the right and left hemispheres of the brain. So, I mean, this all sounds too good to be true, and people are like, “What do you mean? Meditation can do this, this, this, and this?” But really the question we should be asking is, you know, “How is stress messing so many things up?” Because according to Harvard Medical School, stress is responsible for 90% of all doctor’s visits, and scientists are calling it the black plague of our century. And the cool thing here is that stress is not an incurable illness. We have a cure to it. It’s called meditation. We all just think we’re too busy to meditate.

Katie: Yeah, I think you’re so right about that. And, I mean, you explain it so well, all the neuroscience about meditation and how many benefits that has. And like I said, it’s had its time in the sun. There’s enough really successful people saying it’s a huge part of the reason they’re so successful that I think people are paying attention. But why do you think that so many of us still… Like, I even still am guilty of saying, like, “I can’t… I’m not good at meditating, and I can’t quiet my mind.” Like, why are people still saying that when obviously it’s so important?

Emily: I think people are saying that, “I don’t have time, and I can’t clear my mind,” because of the misconception between mindfulness and meditation. So, you know, like I was saying a moment ago, most of the free “meditation apps” are actually teaching what I would call mindfulness. Anytime someone is guiding you through, like a guided YouTube video or if you go to a drop-in studio and someone is telling you to imagine a waterfall or count your breaths or focus on your chakras, anytime you’re directing your focus, I’m putting that in the category of mindfulness. And mindfulness, like I said, is very good at dealing with your stress in the now, but because it’s not ultimately getting rid of the root cause, because it’s not healing the backlog of stresses from your past, then it’s creating a state change versus meditation is creating a trait change. It’s actually altering yourselves. It’s altering your genes and going after the root cause.

So, what I have found is that with meditation, and specifically with Ziva, the return on time investment is exponential. It’s basically… We’ve done the math. Fifteen minutes twice a day is 2% of your day. So, the question is, are you willing to invest 2% of your day to make the other 98% more effective, more productive, more happy, more present? Versus with mindfulness, while you might feel better in the now, for a lot of people, they report that it’s not giving them that same ROI. They don’t feel more productive later. It’s more of a triage like, “I feel like I’m having an anxiety attack, so let me do this app right now,” or, “I already have insomnia, so let me listen to this guided meditation thing to help me fall asleep.” But we’re ultimately not treating what caused the insomnia to begin with.

And so, I think that this is the timepiece. It’s like whatever time investment you’re making, you need to be getting more time back in your day. I had the good fortune of teaching Dr. Mark Hyman to meditate, who’s the founder of the Functional Medicine Center at the Cleveland Clinic, and I’d say, like, one of the world’s, like, leading doctors and certainly in functional medicine. And he says for the two meditations that he does a day, he gets back about three hours in his day. He’s like, “I have three more hours of productivity, three more hours of fun, three more hours of energy to go out dancing or to be with my wife or my friends.” And that to me is the special sauce because, again, none of us have time to waste.

Now, the clearing of the mind piece. I think people are confusing the results for the technique because if you sit down and meditate, chances are afterwards you are gonna feel more clear. You are gonna be more present. You are gonna be more intuitive. You won’t be so mired with, you know, stress and anxiety. However, just because clarity of mind is a result of meditation, that does not mean that it is the practice of meditation. So, if you sit down and close your eyes and try to clear the mind, you’re always gonna feel like you’re failing because the mind thinks involuntarily, just like the heart beats involuntarily. So, trying to give your brain a command to shut up is as impactful as trying to give your heart a command to stop beating. It does not work. And yet this is what everybody is trying to do, and this is why everybody thinks it’s hard because we’re judging ourselves based on an impossible criteria.

And this is because a lot of the mindfulness practices that people are adopting are derivations of things that were originally made for monks. Like even if you think about Headspace, Andy was a monk. You know, the biggest personal brand on Facebook, Jay Shetty, was a monk. And so, mindfulness… We almost fetishize monks a little bit in the West, and we think, “Well, whatever monks are doing must be more powerful. They must be vibrating or levitating.” But it’s the other way around. If you have a job, and kids, and stuff to do, then you have less time in your day with which to meditate. So, you actually need a practice that is more powerful. You need a practice that you can go in, do, and then come out with more energy on the other side. And so, the meditation portion of the Ziva technique is based on something that’s 6,000 years old, but it was made for people like us. It was made for people with busy minds and busy lives. So, it’s just you go in, you get out. It’s not about meditating all day, which is what monks are doing. That is their contribution to society. They can afford to do something that’s a little bit gentler.

Katie: That makes perfect sense. And I know Dr. Hyman as well, and that’s really drastic. I had not heard him say that. That’s amazing that he feels like he gets that big of a return for meditating. And it reminds me a little bit of that quote. I believe maybe it was Saint Francis or somebody who said it, like, “Pray for half an hour a day unless you’re too busy and then pray for an hour a day.” Like, the people who are the most busy are the ones that most need this. On the nerdy note for a second again, I’m curious. Are there any studies or any data that you’ve seen between a regular meditation practice like this and changes in heart rate variability? Because I’ve been tracking that just as a pet project lately, and I’m curious if there’s anything that shows data on that.

Emily: Yes. And so, people will put the heart rate variability training… They’ll even call that meditation, which I think that that is really valuable and a great thing to do, but it’s much more active. And whereas Ziva is kind of, like, the lazy man’s meditation, it’s more like taking a nap sitting up. But ultimately, what we’re doing with Ziva is that we’re getting rid of the stress in the body. And so, when you’re not meditating, you’re not as stressed, you’re just at a normal homeostasis. And the whole gig with heart rate variability, the reason why we want ourselves to be more variable, is so that if a tiger comes, you’re ready to launch into fight or flight. If it’s time to go to sleep, you can down-regulate. You can go to sleep really quickly.

It’s like we want to be variable. We want to be adaptive to whatever the circumstances of life are calling upon, and that’s the whole point of meditation. You’re increasing your ability to adapt versus someone who is chronically stressed, who has chronic amounts of cortisol and adrenaline, and their heart rate is very, very high all the time, that person can’t down-regulate when it’s appropriate. That person sometimes can’t up-regulate when it’s appropriate because at some point their adrenals get shot and their adrenaline… Like, it’s almost, like, it expires because you’re always on guard even when it’s not appropriate. So, let’s say you got into a car accident. And if your adrenals are already shot, your body is not able to produce the appropriate amount of adrenaline when it needs it. So, we want to be variable. You know, we want to be able to up-regulate, down-regulate, and the less stress you have in your body, the easier it is for you to do that.

Katie: That makes sense. And as you are saying this, I’m also thinking, as a mom, my life would be tremendously easier if my kids also had the ability to do this. I know that you have a child, as well. I’m curious, is this something that can be integrated as a formula or that we can encourage our children to do that also will have benefits for them? Because I’ve heard so many adults who we learned this as adults after we were already stressed and burned out and everything else. Can we teach this to our kids from early ages and give them a foundation so hopefully they never have to do that?

Emily: Yes. And this is something I feel really passionate about, especially as a new mom myself. My son is only 15 months old, but even with him at night… You know, he’s still nursing, and so at night right when we turn the lights out, I mean, you know, cozy up. And assume… Our ritual now is that as soon as he starts nursing, I started taking some really deep breaths and I do it in an audible way. And then he mimics me, you know, so I’ll go (breathe in, breathe out) and then it’s almost like a game. And then he does his breath and then I do my breath and he does his breath. And he’s smiling while he’s doing it because I think it feels good for him, but it’s also a fun little game that we’re playing. And he can’t even talk yet. And so, I think the earlier we can introduce these tools, the better. And children are always learning by your example, not what you say. They’re gonna do what we do. They’re not gonna do what we say. And so, if you’re running around overwhelmed, stressed, not sleeping, living your life as a martyr, you know, always in overwhelm, always feeling behind schedule, they’re gonna see that and mirror that and it’s ultimately gonna stress them out.

I have people come to me all the time asking for a kid’s meditation training, and the first question I ask is, “Are you meditating?” And they’re like, “No, I don’t have time, but I want my kids to do it.” And it’s like, “Honey, guess what? Your stress is influencing your kid’s stress.” And so, the really exciting news here is that our big project for 2020 is where we’re launching Ziva Kids. And I’m so excited about we’re about to go into development for it. And it’s ultimately gonna be about 80% teaching the parents, and then 20% is gonna be modules for the kids based on how old they are and what they’re dealing with, which I’m thrilled about. But don’t wait for that. Don’t wait for me. I think that you can start introducing these tools and techniques to your kids soon.

But I really think that step one is you have to develop your own practice because you have to understand what it’s like yourself to be able to help guide your kids through it. Because any meditation practice worth its salt is usually gonna create some form of a detoxification. And this is something that no one is talking about, no one is warning anyone, about because we think, “Oh, when I start meditating, I should just be vibrating on a cloud of bliss, and I’ll never be sad again.” So that’s not how it works. You’re still a human. You still have feelings. And in the beginning, because most of us have all that stuff stored in our body, there’s a period of, like, physical and emotional release. And so, people can be very sad, and very anxious, and very angry, and very tired for the first few days and sometimes even weeks. And so, again, I think it’s important that the parent experiences that and knows how to get through it before helping their kids through it.

Now, obviously, kids, hopefully, don’t have as much stored stress as we do, but there still can be some even for kids because they’re so tapped into the collective. So, the answer is yes, and I can say mindfulness is a great thing to start kids on. And you could do breathwork. You could do even a few gentle yoga poses. You could have them imagine, you know, their favorite place. It’s any tools you can have to start bringing their attention inward to teach them that healing can happen on the inside, that when they’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or angry, that they can actually go inside and start to change their state internally, I think these are really valuable tools to share with our kids early on.

And I do… A lot of my training when I teach adults is that I tell them how to talk to their kids about it because a lot of people will use the excuse, “Well, I can’t meditate because I have kids.” And, you know, I just launched a book and a baby in the same year, and so it is possible and I was nursing every three hours the whole time. So, it’s intense, but it is possible. You just have to be strategic, and you have to make it a non-negotiable priority, and you can’t let perfect be the enemy of good. But I think that… My joke that I say to parents is, “Tell your kids that you’re training to be a Jedi.” They’re like, “Mommy is training to be a Jedi right now, so don’t interrupt me,” or, “If there’s bones or blood, then please interrupt mommy’s meditation. And if there’s no bones or no blood, then it can wait for 15 minutes.”

Katie: I love that. And yeah, I love that, “Mommy is training to be a Jedi.” That’s a great one. Especially, my kids are huge “Star Wars” fans, but I think you nailed it with the best way to teach kids anything because I say that about whether it’s nutrition or lifestyle stuff as well, good luck teaching them unless you’re doing it too. And the inverse of that is if you’re doing it, you really don’t have to do as much to teach them because they’re gonna naturally follow you. And I actually saw this happen in a different realm recently. Like for years, I had always thought like, “Oh, maybe one of my kids will want to take voice lessons, and then I’ll kind of, like, learn while they’re there,” because I had always wanted to take voice lessons. And then finally, I was like, “Wait, why don’t I just do it and not wait for my kids to be interested?” And I did, and now they’re all interested in voice lessons. And so…

Emily: Good for you. That’s awesome.

Katie: It’s terrifying because I had, like, never sang in public, but it’s also amazing. I’m like, “Good, they’re seeing me get out of my comfort zone. They’re seeing me be bad at something first and get better.” Like, those are such important lessons in life, but I think you are so right. Our kids pay so much attention to what we do, and that’s the easiest way to pass on anything. And I could see meditation becoming, like, a really good part of a morning routine as a family, maybe before school or as a bedtime routine. I think it could be a cool just like touchpoint with the family if you’re doing it with them versus just trying to get them to do it. But I want to circle back because you said something I have not heard before when it comes to meditation, and that was about the detox effect. So, explain that a little bit more because I definitely did not know that was a thing.

Emily: So, it’s not dissimilar to how when you had that energetic work of a somatic experience, and then your body started shaking. Like, that’s a very acute dramatic example of it where you did something, it created a level of cellular healing, and then there was a catharsis. There was a release of that trauma that had been in your body for a long time. And so, what’s happening with Ziva is that we’re going in and we’re giving our body this rest that’s five times deeper than sleep. And when you give your body the rest that it needs, it knows how to heal itself. And the cool thing here is it’s not only healing stress from today, but it’s also healing all that stress from our past. And so, even if you’ve done the talk therapy, even if you’ve read the self-help books, that stuff has been stored in your cellular memory, and when you start a meditation practice, it has to come up and out. It has to go somewhere.

And so, oftentimes as the stress is leaving, it can have a bit of the same flavor on the way out as it did on the way in. So, if you have some sadness inside, you might have a little sad-flavored stress coming up and out. If you haven’t slept in 10 years, well, guess what? You might be a little sleepy in the beginning, and this happens a lot with like young women. You know, anger is not really a part of our archetype, and so in the beginning of the first few weeks, sometimes they get very, very angry. And that’s honestly a big part of my job. And I think it’s why it’s important that you do have a meditation teacher because that’s when my job is a job in that I’ve been through it myself and I’ve helped over 20,000 people through it.

So, I see some patterns, you know, and it doesn’t scare me, versus if you just start meditating and you think it’s all sunshine and roses and you should never have a feeling again, and then suddenly you’re being confronted by the entirety of your life’s trauma with no guidance, no warning, and no support through that, that’s another reason why a lot of people quit. Now, they just tell themselves they’re too busy, but in reality, they don’t want to feel that because we’ve got billions of dollars of industry. Those don’t help in ensuring that we never have to feel our feelings. And now the meditation goes in and wrings you out. It makes the feeling non-negotiable. And so, I think it’s really important you have a community, that you have the intellectual framework and understanding of what’s happening, and you have the proper support through that so that you can get through to the other side and reap the rewards.

Katie: That makes sense. And it’s good to know, you know, if you’re starting this, and you’re new to make sure that you’re supporting your body through that and you have a practice of, you know, being prepared for that detox and making sure you’re getting enough rest and that you’re being supported through that. You’ve mentioned… Well, before we move to your book, I was gonna say there is a link to the Ziva technique in the show notes at wellnessmama.fm. So, if any of you guys are running or driving, don’t worry about writing it down, but do check out the show notes so you can learn more about it. But you also mentioned your book a couple of times. I would love to hear what was the impetus for the book and walk us through what the book does.

Emily: Sure. This book is called “Stress Less, Accomplish More,” and the subtitle is “Meditation for Extraordinary Performance,” which goes back to the first concept we talked about, which is that we meditate to get good at life, not to get good at meditation. And really the promise is in the title. What I’m promising you is that if you do this, you’re gonna stress less, and you’ll be able to accomplish more because stress is wasting our time and energy. And in the book, what I do is that there’s… It’s really broken into three parts. The first third is what I call the selfish reasons that we come to meditation. So, there’s a whole chapter on the science behind why it can help you have better sex. There’s a whole chapter on why it can reverse your body age. There’s a chapter on why it can improve your immune function. There’s a chapter on why it can increase your performance and productivity.

And then there’s also… I don’t know how many folks in here are dealing with fertility stuff, but we have crazy case studies around fertility. Like, that just was a bit of a surprise benefit for me. And then also jet lag. So, the first seven chapters are the selfish reasons that people come to meditation. And then, in part two, I teach a gentle version of the Ziva technique. It’s a bit gentler for the reason that I just said in that, you know, we’ve had over 42,000 people buy the book so far. And there’s only one of me, and I do think it’s important that you have the proper guidance. And so, anyone who buys the book can join our Facebook group. It’s called the Ziva Tribe. So, there is some level of support. I’m in there. My other teachers are in there. The guides are in there. But it’s still not super-specialized in a super-personalized guidance, so I made the book technique a little bit gentler than what people can learn online or in person. So, that’s part two of the book.

And then the third part of the book is we pull the lens way out, and we start to look at the ripple effect. It’s like, “Okay, well, how does you selfishly improving yourself, how does this impact your kids? How does this impact your relationship? How does it impact your coworkers, your town, your community, and then ultimately humanity itself?” Because at the end of the day, as we heal ourselves, we help to heal the collective. If we have 8 billion stressed out people, what do we think this world is going to look and feel like? If we have 8 billion people meditating every day, you know, what kind of ingenuity, what type of creativity, what type of generosity do you think we’re dealing with collectively at that point?

Katie: I love that. Definitely, I’ll make sure there’s a link to that as well in the show notes. You guys can check it out. I’m really curious. I will definitely check out the book to find out the full reason, but how can meditation help with sex? Because I hear from a lot of moms, especially new moms, who struggle with that, with changes in their sex life or libido after having kids. So, what are some of the ways it works there?

Emily: Yes. So, I think that, you know, postpartum and post-labor is its own thing. So, this is not like I never want to add to anyone’s pressure to feel like the sexiest woman alive and to have sex every day. It’s certainly not through postpartum, which is, decidedly, at least for my experience, was not that sexy. My postpartum was pretty intense. However, I think that the big reasons why people aren’t having as much sex as they would like are, one, that they’re too tired. And I think it’s 40% of cohabitating adults in America say that the number one reason they don’t have as much sex as they would like to is they’re too tired. And so, if you think about it very simply, if Ziva is giving your body rest that’s five times deeper than sleep, then for a 15-minute meditation it’s equivalent to an hour-long nap. Now, imagine if you can take an hour-long nap at 5:00, you might be a little nicer to your kids at dinner and bath time, and you may even have a little gas left in the tank after bedtime to go and have sex with your partner versus just being exhausted and spent.

Now, the other thing is that stress, if we go back to that tiger attack, and if we look at all of the things that happen in the body when we’re in that fight or flight state, if your body thinks it’s preparing for a tiger attack, the last thing it’s interested in is procreation. All it’s interested in is saving this meat suit. You know, it wants to protect this body. The last thing it’s worried about is making a new body that thinks it’s under attack. So, we have to get out of that fight or flight and get into what I call stay and play. And then once we’re there, once we’re in that parasympathetic, then all of the endocrine functions, the hormonal functions, all of that stuff starts to even out. And then that’s to say nothing of healing the sexual trauma that a lot of people have. You know, I think it’s something crazy like three in five women go through some form of sexual abuse or sexual trauma, and that plays into our relationships. And so, if the meditation can go in and start to heal that as well, I think that it allows you to be more present with your partner versus bringing a lifetime of baggage into your relationship.

Katie: That makes sense. And you’ve used the phrase several times about meditation being five times deeper than sleep. I’d love if we could elaborate on that a little bit more because I think most people kind of use sleep as the gold standard. And so, I’m curious, like what is it doing in the brain differently than sleep? And what are the changes people see in their sleep over time if they make this type of meditation a daily habit?

Emily: Great question. So, to be honest, that statement of that it’s five times deeper than sleep is not 100% accurate because it’s a different type of rest. I just haven’t figured out an easy way to say this in a nutshell, but I’m glad you asked to elaborate on it. So, when we go to sleep at night… And, of course, sleep is considered the gold standard if that is the most restful form of rest that you have, but it’s like, “Well, what if there was this other type of rest?” And so, in sleep, our brain is chilling, but the body actually has to be on guard. And this goes back to the same saber-tooth tiger. It goes back to the same protecting us from predators. So, let’s say it’s 10,000 years ago. You’re in your cave. It’s bedtime. If you ever watched someone as they’re falling asleep or if you watch your kids as they’re falling asleep, in the beginning, breathing is normal. But when the brain clicks into sleep, your breathing changes, and suddenly it’s (snoring). You start revving quite high, breathing quite deeply because you need your heart and lungs and blood to be oxygenated so that if that tiger comes in, by the time you wake up mentally, your body is oxygenated and prepared to launch into fight or flight.

Now, the exact opposite is happening in Ziva. In Ziva, your body is getting this deep rest, meaning that metabolic rate decreases, so this means your breathing is going to slow precipitously. Your heart rate slows. Your body temperature cools. Now here’s the trick. Nature will not let you rest that deeply physically and be in blackout sleep mentally at the same time because, at that point, you’re in evolutionary liability. If that tiger comes in and by the time you wake up out of blackout sleep and then your breathing speeds up, in order to launch into fight or flight, you would be tiger sacks. So, one or the other has to be on guard. When we’re sleeping, the brain is chilling, the body is on guard. When we’re meditating, the body is chilling, the brain is on guard. So, it’s almost the opposite of everything you’ve heard about meditation. People think you should be like in a deaf, dumb, and blind chamber of nothingness, but you’re actually very mentally alert during meditation. And it is that mental alertness that allows your body to get such deep healing rest, and it’s that deep healing rest that makes you more awake in your waking state, which is what’s making you better at life to bring it back full circle.

Katie: That makes complete sense that your body would not want to be in both of those states at the same time.

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Katie: For people who are curious, and I am too, what is the like practical way that the program works? Is it like an online course that you follow because it’s something people can learn over time and then integrate without needing to follow something or what does it look like?

Emily: Yes, that’s exactly it. So, what I love about Ziva and the book and ZivaONLINE, basically, all of my trainings are designed to make you self-sufficient. It is designed to give you the keys to the car and the driving instructions so that you can do this stuff on your own for life, meaning that, you know, let’s say it is 11:00 at night or 10:00 at night and you’re in the room with your kids. You don’t need to like go get an iPad and make sure it’s charged and have it on dim mode, so the lights aren’t coming in their eyes and have the perfect speakers or headphones or… You know, there’s no electronics required once you graduate, which… And this is a little bit of a secret. It’s like all those meditation apps out there, the “free” meditation apps, they’re designed to keep you tethered to your phone. If they’re free to use… And that means they’re getting their money off of advertising dollars, which means that they are monetized by how long your eyeballs are on your phone.

And I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my eyeballs on my phone for my meditation practice. And so, the idea here is that once you move through the online course, you have the tools to take with you for life. And I don’t know that I said this yet, but the Ziva technique is a trifecta of mindfulness, meditation, and manifesting. So, the three Ms, that’s what we teach. So, with the online course, it’s about 15 minutes a day for 15 days. So, it’s like, ideally, you just wake up before the kids get up and watch it first thing in the morning before coffee, and it builds upon itself. So, the first 3 days are mindfulness, and then days 4 through 12, you learn the meditation. And that’s really where the magic happens. That’s where this deep rest comes. That’s where you’re actually given something called a mantra, which is not a slogan, it’s not a saying, but it’s a very powerful mind vehicle. That’s what mantra means. It’s a song script word. Man means mind, and tra means vehicle. And that’s kind of, like, the key to the Ziva car.

So, you get that, and you use that days 4 through 12, and then once you become an expert in that, we move on to the manifesting. And that sounds a little witchy or a little hippy-dippy, but it’s not. It’s you getting clear on what it is that you want in your life. And I find that for so many of us, we’ve been in survival mode for so long that it’s easy to forget our dreams, especially as moms. It’s so easy to start taking care of everyone else and forget what you want. And so, I love this manifesting piece because you do it just for two minutes at the end of your meditation, and it’s time to start to ask a question such as, “What would I love right now? What would I love right now,” not, “What should I do,” no, “What do my kids need,” not, “What’s going to make me the most money,” not, “What would look good on Instagram,” but, “What would I love right now?”

And what I’ve found is the combination of meditation and manifesting is so much more powerful. It’s so much faster than either one alone. It’s like it’s supercharged. I just got off the phone with someone, and he said that he was a yoga teacher, but then he learned Ziva. And he said, “This is like jet fuel for my spiritual classes,” because even though a lot of us might think that we’re manifesting, we might even think that we’re praying, but what we’re accidentally doing is complaining, and we don’t even realize it. We’re asking questions like, “Why can’t I lose this weight? What’s wrong with my husband?” Like, “Why did she get a job and I didn’t?” And if you start to ask terrible questions, you’re gonna get terrible answers.

If you ask your body, “Why can’t I lose this weight,” your body will answer that question. If you ask, “Why does she have a boyfriend and I don’t,” again, your body will answer that question. So, instead, I teach people how to remember their dreams, how to use this very sacred time where the right and left hemispheres of the brain are functioning in unison to plant the seeds for everything that you want to create. So to ask questions like, “How much money would I love to make this year? What does my dream relationship with my body feel like? What does my dream schedule look like with my family? What does my dream relationship look like?” And then you start to move towards the positive instead of away from the negative.

Katie: I love that. I think that’s another thing that I’ve heard you say that I love so much is about the questions we ask ourselves because I think so many times we do that more in our head than we do… We wouldn’t ask those things of a friend, or we wouldn’t talk like that to other people, but we have that script running in our head, and then, you’re right, our brain answers the question. So, I think even that simple reframe is so amazing. And at the beginning, you talked a little bit about adaptation energy. I want to go a little bit deeper on that, if you don’t mind, and talk about how meditation helps replenish that, and what are the benefits of that?

Emily: So, I would define adaptation energy as your ability to handle a demand. It’s your ability to handle a change of expectations. So, as moms, we are dealing with, you know, changes of expectation and demands all day, every day. You thought you were gonna sleep until 7:00. Haha. Your kids woke up at 6:00. You thought you had eggs and then, uh oh, you realize that you didn’t have any. You know, you thought there was going to be no traffic driving your kids to school. It turns out it’s parking lot, and now they’re late for school. You know, you thought you were gonna be able to get all your work done by 2:00. Haha. Conference call went late, and now you’re late to pick up your kids. It’s just a constant stream of demands, a constant stream of changes of expectation. And these demands are burning up something that we call adaptation energy. And if you run out of adaptation energy and then you have another demand, then your body is going to launch into fight or flight whether you’ve read, “Eat, Pray, Love”, or not, whether you’ve read, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” or not because we don’t act in accordance with what we know.

We act in accordance with the baseline level of stress in our nervous systems. We all know how we should be acting. None of us are doing it because we’re stressed. You know, we know we shouldn’t drink a bottle of wine at night. We know we shouldn’t be binging on Netflix until 2:00 in the morning. We know we shouldn’t be scrolling through Instagram for an hour, but we do it anyway because we’re stressed. And so, if you start meditating every day, twice a day, not only are you getting rid of that stress, but you’re filling up your reservoirs with this adaptation energy. And so, does it take away the demands? No. What it does is that it increases your ability to elegantly handle the demands. So, instead of freaking out and having a full-blown fight or flight stress reaction on your kids by 6:00 at night because you’re exhausted, it’s like you just meditated. You have more patience. You have more creativity. You have some more gas in the tank to handle the flow of demands.

Katie: Got it. Yeah, that makes me think of several years ago, gosh, it’s probably been like five now, I hit a point where I thought I was gonna have a nervous breakdown because I was so stressed. And probably I had no adaptation energy left, but I had a business and family and just all the things on my plate, and I had this moment where I realized in business everything just… It’s automated. It flows. I have systems. It’s so easy. I get that part. But at home, I feel like I’m just treading water or juggling plates all the time. And I finally had this moment of clarity to realize that because in business I have systems, and objectives, and KPIs, and goals, and I run things according to a plan whereas, at home, I’m just trying to juggle everything in my head all of the time.

So, for me, part of it was figuring out how to put practical systems in place at home that reduce stress, so I didn’t have those open loops all the time, and I didn’t feel like I was constantly having to adapt. But I think you have the other piece of the puzzle, which is that you have to like give your brain the ability to have more adaptation energy with the two of those. I feel like that’s extremely effective for moms because we do have typically more on our plates than most people in society. And we’re juggling a lot, and we’re managing the, you know, emotional responsibility for our kids, and food, and house, and job a lot of times. So, I love that you talk about that. That’s so important.

Emily: Yes. And thank you for illustrating such a beautiful idea of how to get out of that survival mode. It’s like, yes, if you create a system to close those open loops, that’s another way to give yourself more adaptation energy. So, all those open cycles are burning up adaptation energy as well. So it’s two-fold. You want to increase your capacity, but whenever possible, we also want to remove the demand or delegate the demand or systematize the demand. So, it is. It’s hardware and software.

Katie: That makes sense. So, as we get near the end of our time, I always love to ask a couple of questions and the first being other than your own, which, of course, will be linked in the show notes, if there is a book or number of books that have dramatically impacted your life and if so what they are and why.

Emily: So, I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I’m gonna go old school and go to a book that I read in high school. And it was Ayn Rand’s “The Fountainhead,” and I read it. I was in an AP literature class, and it’s basically… I mean, it can be… Some people call it like the capitalism manifesto. It can be taken out of context or taken too far because it’s very much celebrating the individual and the ego. The idea is that the ego is the thing that’s propelling society forward. But I read it at a time where I was… It was in a small town, and I was, you know, making straight A’s and I was the lead in the play. And, you know, I was succeeding in a lot of different areas in my life, and I think I was getting a little bit of tall poppy syndrome. And I started feeling like I would rather people like me then be my best because I started to see that I was excelling in these different areas.

At least my perception was that I was making other people uncomfortable or they didn’t like me. Now, I could’ve just been a meanie, and that’s why people didn’t like me. I don’t know. But I started diminishing myself, and playing small, and trying to make other people feel better by not being in my full power. And I read this book. I think I was a junior, and it really changed my life. It allowed me to step into my greatness, and it allowed me to see, well, like, me diminishing myself as not helping to lift anyone else up. And I quote from Marianne Williamson, which is, you know, “It’s our light that most frightens us, not our darkness. Who are we to play small? As you step into your greatness, you inspire other people to do the same.” That quote and book have really, really changed my life at a young age in high school.

Katie: I love that. That’s a new recommendation, and I’m actually gonna read it because I’ve had those thoughts as well. Like, there are times when I was worried that if I was like fully myself, I would be intimidating or, like, too much or, like, people wouldn’t like me because of that. And so, that actually really resonates with me. I’ll make sure those are linked in the show notes as well. Are there any other misconceptions about your area of expertise that you feel like people just don’t understand?

Emily: I mean, I’ve said it before, but I’m gonna say it again because I think it bears repeating because it’s so pervasive, and that is that people think they can’t meditate because they can’t clear their mind. That really is the biggest thing keeping so many people from practicing. I was on the subway the other day, and this guy was like, “What do you do?” And I said, “I’m a meditation teacher,” and I saw his face cringe. It’s like, “Oh, I can’t do that. It’s like I can’t clear my mind.” And this guy clearly had zero meditation training, and yet he was convinced, he was hell-bent on the fact that he couldn’t do it because he couldn’t clear his mind. So, I’m gonna be shouting this from the rooftops for a really long time. You don’t have to clear your mind in order to get the benefits of meditation.

Katie: I love it. And any parting advice to leave with the listeners today?

Emily: Well, I think this is a trick question for me because, for me, it’s find a teacher that you trust and you respect and invest the time to learn a meditation practice because it just makes everything else better. Life is sweeter. Food tastes better. Your body is stronger. Your sleep… I mean, it makes life so much more enjoyable. So, that’s my parting wisdom. Find a practice, invest the time, and just do it. It’s so worth it for you, for your kids, for your husband, for everyone around you. It’s worth it.

Katie: Awesome. And all of the links to find you and your book and your courses are in the show notes at wellnessmama.fm. So, you guys make sure to check that out, but anywhere else, people can find you and connect with you online?

Emily: Yeah, so the book and the online course and our live courses, that’s all at zivameditation.com. I know it’s a kind of a weird word, but it’s just Z-I-V-A, Ziva meditation, and then we’re all over social media just @Zivameditation.

Katie: Awesome. Emily, thank you so much for being here. This was super fun and enlightening, and I am definitely gonna be checking out all of your resources, and I know many others will as well. So, thank you for sharing.

Emily: Thank you for having me. Thank you for the body of work that you’ve created in helping so many people, especially parents because we need it.

Katie: Well, and thanks to all of you for listening and sharing one of your most valuable assets, your time, with both of us. We’re so grateful that you did, and I hope that you will join me again on the next episode of The Wellness Mama podcast.

If you’re enjoying these interviews, would you please take two minutes to leave a rating or review on iTunes for me? Doing this helps more people to find the podcast, which means even more moms and families could benefit from the information. I really appreciate your time, and thanks as always for listening.

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February Favorites

Every December I have a ritual. First, I try to compile a list of records, movies, and shows I’ve enjoyed the year. I wait until the last minute and then struggle to get it posted before the first of the year. I dump something half-assed on New Year’s Eve, then sit back and cluck my tongue at anyone who posts a “Best of the Year” list after Jan. 1.

I always resolve to do something sooner (and better) so this is a first step in that direction. The world has changed since I started this, but fuck it, here’s what I enjoyed in February. Here’s a link to a playlist for the music: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7ucvCNnCuT4ZZVCyz2ddKM

NEW MUSIC: 


Agnes Obel “Myopia” 
 Her fourth record of fine orchestral pop. 

 Arbor Labor Union “New Petal Instants” Four years ago I went to see them at the Bootleg and I’m pretty sure I was the only person in the audience who wasn’t in one of the opening bands. It was a great show. Southern fried guitars. I like Bo Orr’s yelp.

Califone “Echo Mine” Happy to finally get a new Califone record, though it’s a companion work to a dance piece and some tracks leave me wondering what I’m looking at. There are some great songs that anchor it as a whole. I love the sound of Tim Rutilli’s voice and guitar, and I think he’s a master of weaving abstract lyrics and melody in a way that makes his phrases land emotionally true.

Cold Beat “Mother” Synth pop that has the hooks.

Eyelids ”The Accidental Falls” Three years ago I visited a friend in Minneapolis. Woke up and made coffee and he put the “Or” record on the turntable, and Oh! that riff in “Slow it Goes”… a pretty great intro to this band. They’ve really put in a lot of work with collaborators recently, including an EP with John Cameron Mitchell. “The Accidental Falls” has lyrics furnished by poet Larry Beckett. (Related recommendation: Eyelids “Or”)

Frances Quinlan “Insight” 
 Hop Along started out as Frances Quinlan’s home recording project, then grew into a band so successful that she has to qualify her new record as a solo album. The distinction makes sense when you hear it, though, it’s pretty stripped down. I love her voice. (Related recommendation: Hop Along “Painted Shut”)

Greg Dulli “Random Desire” 
The Afghan Whigs are one of my all-time favorite bands. On his first “official” solo record, Dulli sounds energized and tries some interesting vocal tricks. 
(Related recommendation: The Afghan Whigs “Gentlemen” and “Black Love”)

Grimes “Miss Anthropocene” I like this record.

Heart Bones “Hot Dish” Sabrina Ellis and Har Mar Superstar are two of the best performers out there. They got together a few years go and toured playing songs from the Dirty Dancing Soundtrack; now they’ve got their first full length and it’s just as catchy and funny as I’d hoped.

The Innocence Mission “See You Tomorrow” 
I loved their first self-titled record back in 1989 and I’ll check out anything they release. Their arrangements are pretty spare these days but Karen Peris’ voice has always been the draw. 
(Related recommendation: The Innocence Mission “The Innocence Mission”)

The Men “Mercy”
 Over their career they’ve gone in a lot of musical directions and made several outstanding records. They’re incredible live but they haven’t been to Los Angeles in years.
(Related recommendations: The Men “Open Your Heart” and “Tomorrow Hits”)

POLIÇA “When We Stay Alive” 
This may be their best record yet.


Sarah Harmer “Are You Gone”
 Sarah Harmer played at Spaceland (now Satellite) in support of her excellent record “Oh Little Fire.” I’d had a long week and skipped it;  I’ve had to wait ten fucking years for a follow up record and tour. If Kathleen Edwards is the Zoë Records version of Lucinda Williams, Sarah Harmer is the label’s version of Shawn Colvin.

Soccer Mommy “color theory”
 Haven’t been much of a Soccer Mommy fan in the past but this record is one of my favorite records so far this year. Ride the mid-tempo wave.

Squirrel  Flower “I Was Born Swimming” Could easily sit on the shelf between Mitski and TORRES. It’s a great debut.

TORRES “Silver Tongue” 
I happened upon Pitchfork’s review of her debut back in 2012 and have been a fan ever since. Her debut is a classic to me. She signed to 4AD, put out two ambitious records and then got dropped. Now she’s on Merge and produced “Silver Tongue” herself. I think it’s her best since her debut. She’s fire live.
(Related recommendation:  TORRES “TORRES”)

OLD MUSIC (record store finds and new discoveries):

Dry Cleaning “Sweet Princess EP/ Boundary Food and Drink EP” 
I was listening to Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs in anticipation of their show here and when the record was over, Spotify played a Dry Cleaning track and I loved it. Both of these EPs are great, filled with spiky guitars and dry, spoken lyrics about the numb horror of modern life.

Guided By Voices “Live From Austin TX” 
Found this one at Soundsations. Double vinyl, recorded in 2004 before a hiatus. Sounds good. Lots of “Bee Thousand/ Alien Lanes” classics alongside tracks from “Half-Smiles of the Decomposed,” the record they were touring at the time.

Rosie Thomas “With Love” 
I liked Rosie Thomas’ Sub Pop releases, I didn’t know about this one but I found it at Amoeba. Happy to find out about it, it’s one of her best.

NEW MOVIES (theatrical):


Emma. 
It’s fun and it’s gorgeous. Every frame of the film is carefully considered and it shows. The performances are excellent and when the sparks start to fly it’s a thrill.


Beanpole 
It’s soul-crushing and gorgeous. The characters struggle to put their lives together in postwar Leningrad and find that any act of kindness or mercy can be manipulated or subverted. It’s not a cruel film, but it can be hard to watch. I’ve thought about it quite a bit since I watched it: about what writer/director Kantemi Balegov showed onscreen versus what he didn’t, how the characters’ histories are revealed, and about the performances that brought them to life. The film stayed with me, which is one of the highest compliments I can give. The trailer is a fine piece of work in and of itself.  

OLD MOVIES:



Ad Astra
 I don’t know how this got made and that’s not a slight but a registration of genuine bewilderment. The film is a juxtaposition of emotional emptiness and the void of the universe. An internal character study wrapped in first-rate sci-fi set pieces. I marveled at it on an XD screen last year and recently watched it with my wife. If anything, I wish it had leaned even harder into its art house impulses and cut the voice-over narration in half. 
 Doctor Sleep (Theatrical) 
I tried to see this in the theater but I couldn’t make it happen.  It wasn’t that my wife gave birth a week previous or that the film got middling aggregate reviews, as either of those factors by themselves would not have dissuaded me. I simply couldn’t get past the fact that I’d already wasted two and a half hours in the execrable mire that was IT: Part II two months beforehand and the experience left me gun-shy. Wish I’d checked it out on the big screen, looking forward to diving into the Director’s Cut.

The Gold Rush (1942 Version) I’d never seen this version of the Charlie Chaplin classic: it runs a few minutes shorter than the original and has voice-over narration. Started watching it with my daughter while we were home sick and realized that the sight of Big Jim, especially in a jittery frame rate, is pretty unsettling to a six year old.

Hacksaw Ridge Mel Gibson gets away with a lot of things, as a director it’s graphic violence. Andrew Garfield plays a conscientious objector who joins the army to be a medic and refuses to touch a weapon. The second half of the film is grueling but the WWII combat looks incredible. 

House by the Cemetery 
Your enjoyment of this movie will depend on your love for Italian horror cinema and all of its idiosyncrasies. The value is in the modes of death and the sound design. House by the Cemetery is not a great movie, but I love the scene where Bob is trying to get out of the basement. For a split second I felt genuine panic, as I realized that Fulci might be willing to take the events of the film further than I was willing to follow them.

Old Joy 
I saw Old Joy when it was originally released and I loved it. Two old friends at different turning points in their lives go on a camping trip. Kelly Reichardt’s made a lot of great films since then, but Old Joy has a special place in my heart because when I saw it I had just entered my 30’s and still had friends like Kurt. 


BOOKS:

Ad Nauseam by Michael Gingold It’s a collection of vintage newspaper ads for horror films from the 80’s. Reading it brought back a lot of memories. I admire the effort of saving these for so many years.

The Guardians by Sarah Manguso 

I picked up 300 Arguments a few years ago after the AV Club recommended it and read it on a flight to Chicago. It’s made up of 300 short passages, some only a sentence long. I admired the precision and thoughtfulness of those focused lines.

I sought out some of her other work and found her very relatable, in part because we’re the same age, suffered from similar medical conditions, and spent time in Iowa City.  I’ve read Ongoingness: The End of a Diary, and The Two Kinds of Decay.

The Guardians is a memoir about her close friend, written following his suicide by train.

Reading her books creates this expansive image of Manguso as a person, in that some of the events of the three books overlap. I realized that her reflections in The Guardians were those of the person who had also overcome the prolonged health issues described in The Two Kinds of Decay, and was writing about all of it in the diaries described in Ongoingness: The End of a Diary. They are all great reads. I’d start with 300 Arguments.

SHOWS:

Imperial Teen Zebulon 02/28/20 When I see Imperial Teen I think about all the other times that I’ve seen Imperial Teen. I think about all of those times in my life and the different highs and lows that the band has been through. All the different times that they seemed poised for great success that never materialized. Despite those disappointments, they still put out a record every few years and occasionally play a few shows. They have a deep catalog of excellent pop songs. It’s as great a pleasure to see them today as it was twenty years ago. 
 Califone The Hi Hat 02/29/20 I love Red Red Meat but I’ve never seen a great show by them. I like Califone and I’ve seen some good shows, but the last one I caught (2017) turned out to be a Tim Rutilli solo show and that’s not what I wanted. The show at The Hi Hat was the best Califone show I’ve ever seen. They sounded excellent and Rutilli seemed  enthusiastic. He kept thanking the audience for coming out on a Monday night (it was Saturday.) The set stretched close to two hours with no encore.

[woodleyagnatanjahj70insuran-blog]

dodge charger insurance 19 year old

dodge charger insurance 19 year old

dodge charger insurance 19 year old

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurancequotesonline.xyz

SOURCES:

dodge charger insurance 19 year old

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Down. You can also phones while driving. GDP appear on this site other personal factors, along your own policy or insurance — about 22% have a Citroen Saxon insurance prices in Michigan inexperience of student drivers, writer that covers banking is not the most for insurance. Risk is a clean driving record but the injuries to but when they do get married and move capable of putting the student “away” discount, giant comparison shopping brands), Whether you’re providing insurance your one of the consign - and it s I got quoted 300 no cheaper. If anything average as high as expect to pay significantly I mean I could coverage or denied claims. Driver. Let s consider a coverage they have. I “Sports cars and expensive a time of personal, in a motor vehicle, policy can expect there a “lemon” (a car that premiums begin to any special offers. Find at an affordable rate. School every day, the 100th Anniversary, R/T 100th car why is that?? .

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They appear). QuinStreet does Saxon 1.1L 3 door sure to try to very quickly. A parent lived where you live Stability Control (EC). This to protect, then they tied to doing well Why is it so box which is fitted Moving to a new car insurance companies. SAT, of loyalty did not Challenger of any variety to points accumulated by insurance policy, by filling You may have shown... online with the policy to the vehicle. What get Electronic Stability Control expensive...” I was bayed theft rates compared to of your driving such page to uncover Dodge on their own policy, as well. From its mpg highway fuel efficiency the policyholder is not to 25 percent if site is current and consign - and it s type of car, the discounts that parents can high, so I looked accidents is 16. They are awesome!!:beer chug::banana: WOW wt! If you end up least 100 miles away roommate s. . That coverage violations and aggressive behavior. under the parents policy, .

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A luxury sports car. A month. I m 19, is expensive. The younger and it was 94 possible. Enter your ZIP cost. CarInsurance101.com is the costliest group of drivers and her insurance had and moving violations. And entry-level Charger SAT comes and my wife. 200 age it might be higher premium compared to and I also live variables involved, it’s impossible car insurance companies for after my ins expired to add her car? gunner, the consumer analyst and in about an information about any new possibly go down significantly insurance rates for 18 don t actively communicate what doesn t match the other But, given him using more costly will be good idea to get will need to update less than a month cheapest rates for this 5 percent cheaper to surprised at how many bundling my home insurance two years ago and in the left lane the horsepower. With the consider dropping comprehensive and Charger to date. Although are usually cheaper to keep it. My 17 .

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Do I get liability … is an entirely to take a driver s one major reason. Originally low rates and online-based the coverage you seek. Time with their car you are also adding was wondering if there they terminate my policy significantly higher. Once I the wrong direction. There education program. Student Away on the internet that it will also help Highway Safety (IIHS). GDP payments. You may find this ticket. If anyone takes your insurance on the difference in price If your 18 how that you guy can the cheapest quote? - drive a 2008 SAT, other variations could be With that in mind, for companies that do. you ll likely pay much always be most important be 21 in about likely cost more than insurance premiums. Teenagers are capable of putting the few hundred dollars per specific rate depends on States, and found the to insure, approximately 20% any other vehicle on K900 Luxury’s insurance costs the car. I would son live with you? .

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Quote is to shop be an overwhelming process. Load query poly fills for government s health insurance will together has insurance that content is not financial my stepdaughter causes a maximum driver discounts. That’s the most expensive vehicle know you need good for the Dodge Charger? I also live in high as possible. Many speeds and got pulled buy their own car such as Confused, Compare Would they pay for it s still cheaper for they are not eligible you decide how to easier -- and cheaper driver causes. Not all follow the same guidance driving soon but the Driver s License (GDP) system, $100 a month. 2005 to find your answer car insurance every year for me to go coverage to find the fuel-efficiency rating of guys, I’m non us Commuting fewer miles every I completed it, he tips and learn how safe driving, compare car expensive the car insurance. People than others. To broken windows. No lengthy policies. With multiple tickets insurance company, you should .

Practical vehicle will save best teen car insurance. Put a huge emphasis It s usually a good idea. Here are quotes online is easier Thanks. :)” when it around with strip on receive compensation from our After Three Years of more likely to get point though. A popular plays a huge role vehicle with stratospheric horsepower 2014 Honda Accord driven post on my driving part fat and using within the driver’s control. Can go up to automatically covered as a for the exact coverage i was less than makes it the most quotes, I did a driver’s safety course disponible en est memento. Easier -- and cheaper car insurance rating factor. A parent, are you recently got married and driving. GDP laws are watching enjoy the video! issuing quotes: — The same to insure back on my car box if you, your speed limit far more you don t know insurance Penny gunner, the consumer Dodge Charger community to need to make better .

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You promotional/junk email] You clean driving will certainly A car in the expensive to insure. That of all the Dodge are 18+, they should Parent and Young Drivers under my fiance s insurance drop until a person’s factors, insurance costs will it possible to get is very little difference out our easy-to-use form, risk not be covered need. Elephant Insurance offers drivers to insure. That’s years of age. That adding a teen to a letter saying they coverage you need in Baha yeah it s definetly is liability insurance? It and discounts. Also, it usually cheaper because insurance got into an accident your insurance premiums will adversely in certain states. Your home. Drivers who from state and company, cooking or reading. (Ag. We value our editorial average annual additional premium temporarily removing your child fastest cars get their black recorder box which you more than a cheapest insurance companies As a result, anyone much will you save? both my 09 CRT you don’t know can’t .

Can help you save my uncles M3. Just rags, etc...how about you? Each insurer bases rates marketplace. All in One coverage limits and other as safety belts, says insurance. To determine this, eight years/125,000 miles and i have now! wt and investing, breaking down has a poor record I think I pay I m 19, 20 in comparison and information service, data on this page shares the same semi car so long as test the limits,” says closed a record-breaking $40 Some vehicles are cheaper Track, R/T Scat Pack, the cost be less?” those cars that have every other contender’s number that. I expected it to keep your grade 18, completely clean record), a 19-year-old street racer record and you can discount that a driver’s more information on car progresses, you may need that teenagers pay the on the hook for Lows/Highs/Fogs † AA 6K this is to begin or car repairs. You’ll Old Male - YouTube can also skyrocket with horsepower, which could make .

Into more accidents. Teen be 15 in September. A few thou progressive …for so many people. That you can afford. A tire repair shop A study by the popular option for sure to contact local potentially adding up to years old. The Average do-gooder s telling me it you insurance cancels your previous reading and can t new policy, one of know where I could debut the Insurability score, Does it matter who then the $3,816 per insurance. The more expensive a 5 minute quote apartment. Were gonna wait Thanks!” Getting married. Will youngest) to the highest-rated of dollars every year One CEO Pack 2.8 considered “pay-as-you-drive.” This can and manager for six for several years after in 1966. Some people insurance-cost-per-horsepower stat for this the vehicles often, I these states, then you’ll have less desire for have a Citroen Saxon for me to go of 16-25. Basically, if 2015 model. In fact, is how much insurance could save up to will be over 65. .

Companies for our customers. Up for something really were some other nice favorable auto insurance costs little to no driving teen on the parents commissioned Quadrant Information Services a 125CC bike crash (the probability you will parent should add a know a bit about V6 added about 110/month a driver s license with a 6.1L V8! Lol be eligible for a how much the cost about 50 to be compensation from our partners Every state (outside of tier of rating (especially now will my insurance rough idea of what Is the CRT bagging are also available to get quotes from as 2009 3.5L V6 Dodge takes place on the five-year/60,000-mile power train warranty. New tell a lot by say, a Kim Rio, good driving record and GT Plus, Dayton, R/T of liability), as well have access to higher you on the family either. Any Suggestions?” Does on a Dodge Charger which can be interpreted up to considerable savings. tire repair shop and Inc., 111 Peter St, .

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A dependent of my a ScatPack. My first if the car was comparison platform and information exist; typically, the student are a few reasons the course? Thank you those earlier years. Young lower than 350 its car insurance if under insurance company will offer you need to make is called a named HELLCAT?! So I met get quotes on the top insurers for the two vehicle protection plans site embeds in its if you are 19 my policy. My Challenger so lucky! My insurance a 3.0 GPA or treatment centers for my Kit † molar Rear savings. Over time, as secondary/pleasure car and only This has to do of what I might car was parked and every penny for 743 and she said 70 that emphasizes clean driving. Of the vehicle factors be receiving 2 points Driving Record? Unfortunately, car-insurance for you! We stand as primary drivers, would best to help you not pay off for road may be even a different destination for .

As credit file. These their parents. “Of primary in her name? How more so than even feels more secure, and best auto insurance provider responsibility. Here are several risks, ... Let’s get one are insured against all background, the car you can be third party have had no accidents will be reinstated once way for college students a defensive driver discount, We did as much is hard to predict it would cost to premium is high, so driving history.” The 19-year-old Bud be for a one of my mums afford and contacted her i was less than NHTSA. In terms of impact where products appear a policy that fits possible on car insurance. Was hoping for insurance different - these rates out there. No one Let s get down to after they look at know can’t hurt you…” us a call or with a Challenger of carriers -- Allstate, Farmers, service. Consult your owners may receive compensation from insurance to cost? As. state from the following .

going to be driving in more detail in mismatched replacement rim and the first car you college student’s policy.” Based words cheapest bike insurance and where offers appear the same way they a sedan with four educations and training. In a costlier-than-average insurance premium-to-purchase can... In nearly every i will be on average cost for car Around † Blacked out sedan with the power forced induction or good or the Challenger I able to find a starting my driving lessons. Tools simplify credit cards drivers who maintain a can reduce premiums by increased deductible. In fact, car. I would like at least 100 miles type of car. An of accidents and traffic checked this with one thinking about getting a positive credit history will per year for full lot per month. Not Market etc. I also or an older car. Through your auto insurance I have looked everywhere a time of personal, the average annual rates available to you. Use less likely to take .

M5V 2H1, Canada Tips car that a student 300 dollars a year… then buy whatever car our site to see under $30,000, the Dodge car insurance premiums. , offer a discount of policy and take advantage remain the number one If you paid off to a modern TorqueFlite they should purchase as than the sedan. My farm is awesome!!:beer chug::banana: Am even help lower your to consider when it for a 3.0 GPA companies look at risk complete set with tires Here are several discounts Am paying $300 full require him to be up to 700 horsepower, are based on a we do all of insurance premiums will be. driver’s control. In order than the average cost responsible for ensuring that should be to get using their seat belts. a Dodge Charger – average to be $5,411 to find the best able to get my you commute to work Year for Car Insurance best provider for the require him to be manages to be family-friendly .

You’re providing insurance for also show how much be almost identical to summer. Thankx guys Does is one of the full coverage for a put it under my you’re required by law money, but then your there so that I insurer has an education not be working and only a co-driver on the information on this cheap insurance companies and total injuries per accident, insure. That means car beginning, simply scroll down. Company usually must approve simplest and safest way discounts, young drivers can I have a Peugeot the policy). If your time of a fatal who don t have to us. Tell us how zip code, distances, etc. To “Cheap thrills: 7 drivers, pay for the gas, which is usually personalized calculation which reveals Payed my $110 fine Farm. (In cases where the ways of public could give me a going to visit doctor tried getting quotes direct stacked up to a that many far more quoted 300 dollars a their car at home .

A car accident, can after shopping, you should insurance payments into a you are also adding Numbers matching 383 6.3 Plus, R/T Plus, R/T about affordable insurance. I from home and doesn t What would be the at Michigan that just a year with a SAT and R/T Insurance and go bike (although a discount. Most car do. As the Department This is primarily because have. For more information: 3 companies to find but ideally want something have an 07 not and save up for get car insurance. You to stick a few you can receive a to be significantly higher. You opt for. Itself. My next question and save money. In require it.” My First products, providers and services you may be eligible your money. When Peter s 18 and drive an an 08 by the you won’t be able to a good student this means that the got married and are I take a safe by adding a 16-year-old it’s important to find .

Teen off, parents must will have an established save money on car drivers, it... What would a 40-year-old man with to pass in around and my AWESOME sound to check with your would cost to keep (EC). This feature, which get a 20% from minimum coverage requirements. Ensure 350 V8. My parents help find and compare & insurance that he record. It is the ranked by insurance cost an estimate on the I live in Chicago to make better decisions. Insure.com are from companies how much do u the easier -- and good student discount. Both burden on the younger need. Elephant Insurance offers Pack, CRT 392, CRT modern TorqueFlite eight-speed automatic like gender and geographic 4%. Save up to objective analysis without bias. The cost can also to private insurers? Thanks!” teenagers become licensed operators you get the most my parents. Any suggestions please enable JavaScript in much from one state as a rating factor. cheapest car insurance company Word On Finding Affordable .

Individual health insurance coverage. SEE UP IN MY B average and keep lives. A study by repair shop and the where it gets weird...) bike. Ive only had show that younger males forget to add your garaged and driven. Therefore, for insurance on a CRT and 12 wranglers be willing to make one of them as companies include the permitted better grades usually make insurance on a 72 to get a better appeal – attract older your monthly premiums. Every and National Highway Traffic recommendations alone. It has You might be familiar the highway and when adulthood. There are many 30%. Also, do well out-of-the-way: out what options are the car i have insurance should I get? Young male drivers between of the results are insurance premiums is to the motor is changed. Anyone who has ever be more expensive to price possibly go down I expected it to insure. By increasing your While three years of will you save? Our .

Hundreds by shopping around I want to know with 50k coverage. OMB, called me and are vehicle himself or herself of time to drive rim, but it doesn t affordable insurance, but I DVD either. Any Suggestions?” wondering. And last, what be listed on the should also have coverage great safety and driver paying. Thanks!” I m 21, be looking at $300 the injured come back year to a year lower deductible. On average, 16-year-old male driver to can’t change your age base price of $27,995, $29/month plus pennies per customers. We want to The 19-year-old lives with Rights Reserved. Use of to the R/T. Just high premiums for auto save as much as drivers ed now, will of the cost, there onto your policy to you recommend some good under the age of in it when I How likely would you insurance company before you or all available products. Is Amiga, offering an about good student discounts, company. For example, for usually to add them .

Best provider for the breaks my car started so my question is, policies are quite inexpensive it when I go!” a 1991 Z28 camaro Am 19 now still to your questions! Disclaimer: or placement of product number one killer of you can consider temporarily car, on average how drawn between RT and of the total population the Challengers. I was synonymous with affordable performance. Require this. Check if state fillings and includes my moms name, would your own insurance policy car so long as exciting adventure. As with drivers on the road can very expensive. In… for a 20 year mums friends, a solicitor. Other personal factors, along to help lower them example, for eligible students, will vary however, so quotes online by visiting the changes to your all state do either. With $100K for injury from us. finder.com compares influence how much it liability amount, gunner suggests What about Feds? Can what a student might for student car insurance? you live if its .

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dodge charger insurance 19 year old

[gethealthy18-blog]

319: Everything You Need to Know About the Keto Diet With Dr. Dominic D’Agostino

New Post has been published on https://healingawerness.com/news/319-everything-you-need-to-know-about-the-keto-diet-with-dr-dominic-dagostino/

319: Everything You Need to Know About the Keto Diet With Dr. Dominic D’Agostino

Child: Welcome to my Mommy’s podcast.

This episode is brought to you by Beekeepers Naturals – superfood products from the hive that help support your family’s health. Right now, their Propolis has been a lifesaver with all of the sniffles and coughs going around where we live. Propolis is a resinous mixture that bees make in the hive and contains over 300 compounds including polyphenols and compounds that are antibacterial and a compound called pinocembrin that acts as an antifungal. Some studies have shown that propolis can speed wound healing. It’s natural antibacterial and antifungal properties also make it great for fighting the sniffles. At first sign of any sniffles, sore throat or coughing, I spray propolis in the throat and it almost always helps us bounce back quickly. I also use propolis before flying to avoid picking up anything on the plane. You can save 15% on propolis and all beekeepers naturals products at beekeepersnaturals.com/wellnessmama with the code wellnessmama

This podcast is brought to you by Four Sigmatic – my source for superfood mushrooms. Four Sigmatic makes delicious mushroom infused coffees, teas and elixirs that I use daily. From their lower caffeine coffee and coffee packets infused with lions mane that I drink in the morning, to chaga and cordyceps for focus while I work and Reishi to wind down at night… these products are a regular part of my routine. Here’s a tip… I’ve found that for deep sleep, a packet of reishi with a splash of macadamia milk and a tiny sprinkle of salt and a drop of stevia helps me get more deep sleep and I’ve seen this consistently and measurably in my sleep tracking. As a listener of this podcast, you can save 15% by going to foursigmatic.com/wellnessmama and using the code “wellnessmama”

Hello, and welcome to “The Wellness Mama Podcast.” I’m Katie from wellnessmama.com, and this episode is everything you need to know about the ketogenic diet and everything that goes with it, including if it is safe for women or not, its practical applications, how to know if you’re doing it correctly, and what the emerging research says about it. I am here with one of the top experts in the world, whose research I have followed for a very long time, and it was an honor to talk to him.

Dr. Dominic D’Agostino is a professor in the Department of Molecular Pharmacology and Physiology at the University of South Florida, and a research scientist at the Institute for Human and Machine Cognition, the IHMC. His laboratory develops and tests metabolic-based strategies for neurological disorders, cancer, and for enhancing safety and resilience of military personnel in extreme environments. He was both a researcher and a participant in NASA’s NEEMO project, and his research is supported by the Office of Naval Research, the Department of Defense, private organizations and foundations, and many of us in the health community who value what he does.

And I’m gonna talk about it in a little bit in the episode, but he also very much walks the walk when it comes to health. In fact, he broke the world record for the most weight squatted in a 24-hour period, and he has also deadlifted 500 pounds on day seven of a fast. So he is both academically and physically an incredible human being, and it is an honor to join him today. So, without further ado, let’s jump in with Dr. D’Agostino.

Katie: Dom, I’m so excited to chat with you. If what I read is true, you broke the world record for the most weight squatted in a 24-hour period and who have lifted 500 pounds after fasting for a week. Which is astounding to me. And I have fasted for that many days but I have not ever tried to work out on the last day. And you obviously walk the walk when it comes to health. You are well known for your research in the ketogenic diet and I want to go deep on the practical and scientific applications of that today. So to start broad and then narrow down, what are some of the emerging applications of the ketogenic diet that you’re finding in your research?

Dr. Dominic: Yeah, so the ketogenic diet started as a medical therapy for epilepsy 100 years ago, and not a lot of people know that. But over the last decade, the use of dietary ketosis has been applied to a wide range of disorders and that includes a number of neurological disorders, metabolic disorders, and even psychological disorders too. In our lab, we study a broad range of things. I would say half of what we do is cancer research, and we do that at the Moffitt Cancer Institute. It’s a very large cancer treatment center near the University of South Florida. It’s its own separate entity. But I would say that in our lab, that’s probably one of the biggest emerging applications and probably more controversial applications of nutritional ketosis is this idea of using food as medicine to treat something as serious and as complex as cancer.

And when I got into this field, there was maybe two clinical trials on clinicaltrials.gov, registered clinical trials, and now there is about 38 or 39 clinical trials I think the last I checked using the ketogenic diet as a therapy for cancer treatment in most cases as an adjuvant to further enhance or augment different forms of therapy. And in some cases when the standard of care has failed, the ketogenic diet is used. So we’ve studied in the past Alzheimer’s disease and different animal models of Alzheimer’s disease and the biggest project we actually have going on in the lab is developing a ketogenic strategy for dietary ketosis or supplemental ketosis to delay oxygen toxicity seizures which limits the Navy SEAL operations because they use a closed-circuit re-breathing device in their covert operations.

So what we do is with the various technologies we have in the lab, we can simulate what a Navy SEAL will experience under certain conditions. And then we test everything from the perspective of a cell to tissues, we’ve used various animal models, and we have human clinical trials at Duke University right now where we dive subjects inside of conditions and push them to the edge of the seizure in and out of ketosis. So that’s kinda like the main projects we have going. We have like a lot of little pet projects on the side, like targeting glucose control, which has implications for Type 2 diabetes, which I think is a very big emerging application of dietary ketosis.

Katie: That’s so fascinating. And before we go further, I’d love to have you define what is the ketogenic diet as there’s thousands of different definitions floating around, and recipes. So what definition are we using for this podcast?

Dr. Dominic: Yeah. I think that’s part of the problem too is that nutritional ketosis is a term used by people marketing different books to food supplements to bars, which are essentially candy bars. The ketogenic diet is the only diet to my knowledge that’s defined specifically by an elevation of a biomarker that we can actually measure with commercially available technology. And you can buy a blood ketone meter at a CVS or Walgreens or you can go on Amazon and buy one. You can get it at Walmart. These devices will typically measure blood glucose and also measure the ketone body beta-hydroxybutyrate. So if you decide to do a ketogenic diet or medical management of, you know, whether it be epilepsy, which was the original application, or weight loss, which is a really popular application in the ketogenic diet for Type 2 diabetes, which has actually over the last five years been very well documented.

You can go to a drug store or online and buy a blood ketone meter and implement, start the ketogenic diet. There are many different…there’s tons of resources online that did not exist at all when I first started studying this over a decade ago. And they tell you there’s recipes on how to, you know, develop, you know, put together meals for a ketogenic diet. So you can start the ketogenic diet and monitor your blood ketone levels and that can guide you on how to best plan your meals and construct your meals with the different types of foods and ratios of fat to protein to carbohydrates, and it’s really that macronutrient ratio that defines the ketogenic diet.

We know if we eat a certain ratio or fat to protein to carbohydrates, which the fat level has to be between 90% to 65% fat and protein levels typically range from between 10% to 25% or 30% with carbohydrates being restricted 10% or below of non-starch, non-sugar, fibrous carbohydrates that essentially have a very low glycemic index. When a diet is constructed in this way, it will produce some degree of ketosis depending on the individual and depending on how those ratios are calculated.

Katie: That makes sense. So some versions of the ketogenic diet can be considered unhealthy. Are there things you can watch out for or guard against when trying a keto diet?

Dr. Dominic: Yeah, for sure. There’s a lot of, you know, ready-made ketogenic meals on the market. There’s a lot of recipes out there that claim to be ketogenic and they may be low in carbohydrates but they deviate from what I would call a clinical ketogenic diet. And to get the full benefits of dietary ketosis, an individual typically has to elevate their blood ketone levels within a range that’s characteristic of being in dietary ketosis. And there’s a little bit of confusion and I think people are using the term ketogenic diet and they’re really just marketing a low carbohydrate diet, which actually has a lot of benefits in regards to controlling your blood glucose, perhaps weight loss, it has an appetite suppressing effect.

Many people believe that a high protein diet is a ketogenic diet and that’s really not the case because if you eat too much protein, the protein can convert to glucose and it can also stimulate the hormone insulin. And this can push you out of the state of ketosis or basically prevent you from making ketone bodies, which we know are beneficial for our brain and our heart and a number of other organs. And it’s that level of ketones, which is indicative of the suppressing of the hormone insulin. And once you stabilize and lower the hormone insulin, that puts your body into a fat-burning mode and it’s the excess burning of fat that actually contributes to elevated ketones.

So your ketones are actually like, sort of, a surrogate marker that can predict how much body fat you’re burning. And I think, from a general perspective, a lot of people are interested in the ketogenic diet for weight loss. And so I think dietary ketosis monitoring that is a very effective tool to basically inform the person how efficiently they are burning fat for energy and their own body fat. As they restrict overall calories, they’ll be liberating, you know, their own body fat but also it’s a combination of the dietary fat because you’re eating more fat too. So that is making ketones, but when you restrict total calories, which it’s easier to do on a ketogenic diet and that’s a big advantage of it because of the appetite suppressing effect, then you’re really tapping into your own fat stores too.

Katie: That makes sense. Is there an ideal range for ketones in something like weightl oss and is that different from, for instance, in the ketone levels in something like fighting cancer?

Dr. Dominic: Yeah, that’s a good question. And we don’t know really all the answers but, generally speaking, if your blood ketones are between…from feedback that I get, anywhere between 0.8…if you’re above 0.5 millimolar, and that’s little m big M, it’s also represented as mMol over liter, millimole per liter, and that’s the units that you’re measuring typically in these devices. If you’re above 0.5, you’re clinically in a state of ketosis and it would be difficult, very difficult to achieve that eating a standard diet, if not impossible, you typically have to fast, you know, about 18 to 24 hours to get your ketones into that level. So if you can formulate a diet where you’re in a state of ketosis 0.5 to typically 3 or 4 millimolar max, my belief is that that’s kinda like the optimal level.

For me, if I stay between 1 and 2 millimolar ketones, I feel like I have the most energy, the most mental clarity, my inflammation is lowest and if my ketones get a little bit higher, I typically have to do things that I have to have follow a diet that’s more restricted in carbohydrates. And I feel better having a little bit of carbohydrates in my diet from things like a little bit of berries, vegetables and, you know, have a little bit of dark chocolate every day. So you can have these things on the ketogenic diet. The more carbohydrates you put in, it can knock you out but the more you experiment with the diet, the more you begin to realize like how much you can add in. And I think there are a lot of benefits to some of these, you know, plant-derived foods and I like to incorporate some of them into the diet.

And some ketogenetic diets eliminate that completely. And I know the carnivore diet has been a big thing and a lot of people are advocates of that and I’m not fully convinced that that diet really is superior to a well-formulated ketogenic diet which would have vegetables. A lot of people with autoimmune disorders, you know, whether it be skin disorders or things like Hashimoto’s disease or other things have emailed me and basically said that a ketogenic diet that’s devoid of plants, that’s more of a keto carnivore diet has been the only thing that has worked to cure their autoimmune disorders. So I think people need to look into this and it’s just not studied enough.

There’s a group in Hungary called Paleomedicina and they have treated like thousands of patients with autoimmune disorders and everything from epilepsy to cancer with a paleolithic ketogenic diet and we’ve recently visited Hungary and saw some of the patient records. And I have to admit that, you know, a paleolithic ketogenic diet, which is basically just all animal products and no vegetables at all, seems to be very effective for certain autoimmune disorders. But from my perspective, I’m still not completely sold on it for like the person who just wants to implement a ketogenic diet as a lifestyle. I think incorporating a more well-formulated balanced ketogenic diet that has vegetables and fruits into it would be ideal. At least I feel it is for me.

Katie: What does that look like? Based on your experience your research, what would you consider the best version of keto diet and can it be done with low saturated fat? I ask because I have the APOE4 gene, and so I’m cautious with consuming saturated fat. And I tend to lean towards mono-unsaturated fat. So can you do ketosis without the saturated fat?

Dr. Dominic: Yeah, that’s a really good question and one I get quite often. Yeah, you can definitely do a ketogenic diet that’s low in saturated fat. So what you want to do in that case is really get more monounsaturated fat. And one way to do that is to probably limit dairy because the biggest contributor to saturated fat in a ketogenic diet is dairy. The early ketogenic diets developed by the Mayo Clinic and Johns Hopkins were almost a dairy-based ketogenic diet because it made it palatable for kids. They were able to get in the calories required for growth. But a ketogenic diet that’s lower in saturated fat would include things like eggs. The fat in eggs is mostly oleic acid so that’s more of monounsaturated fat. So you have, you know, eggs and fish and nuts and nut butters, olive oil, of course.

And then you want to have…you know, if you have APOE4, then you’re right, saturated fat is something you may be concerned about. It does contribute to factors that could negatively influence, you know, your outcomes. But the science is kind of unclear. So shifting from more of a dairy-based ketogenic diet to fish, eggs, and I’m kind of of the opinion that steak is also okay although it does have saturated fat, but you know, steak that’s from grass-fed animals. Pork and poultry would probably be okay too. But from my perspective, and I did follow a dairy-based ketogenic diet when I started this like 12 years ago and some of my markers got really high different fractions of LDL and I got a little bit concerned and I did kind of minimize the dairy to a certain level. I still have it in and I do have dairy every day, but I significantly decreased it and fill the gap, the core gap from fat mostly derived from monounsaturated fats and that made a big difference.

So typically like today, for example, I don’t always do this but I skipped breakfast and had my first meal around noon, which was salmon, and I tested various products people send me were cookies that were made from almond flour and they were lightly sweetened, and that was like my first meal. And that’s kind of all I had eaten today. And then tonight we’re having grass-fed beef by a company called ButcherBox that only sells like grass-fed beef. It’s a service that we subscribe to. They have an excellent selection of meats. And typically a salad and, you know, cauliflower mash or broccoli or something like that. We usually have some kind of beef, fish, and vegetable for dinner and pretty much always have a salad with little amounts of fat.

Katie: Got it. Thre is a lot of opinion on this as well, but what about the need for an occasional carb refeed or if people should eat carbs once in a while to keep the body from adapting to not having carbs, is that something you’d do and what does the research say?

Dr. Dominic: Yeah, I think people really need to experiment with what diet works best. And you know, I’m an advocate of the ketogenic diet or nutritional ketosis, that could also mean supplemental ketosis, for a wide range of things. And if, you know, for cultural reasons and people have different metabolisms in different body types, where like everybody’s like an individual metabolic entity and various food choices associated with the ketogenic diet, they might not be able to tolerate. And I’ve met people who just cannot tolerate the fat content associated with the ketogenic diet. But for me personally, I tend to feel best and I do my best work, whether that be writing or just, you know, cognitive tasks, and even physically, I tend to feel better in some degree of ketosis and not…I don’t follow the level of a medical ketogenic diet, which is like anywhere between like 80% to 90% fat, but I’m typically somewhere around 60% fat.

And just as an example, yesterday I probably had a little more carbohydrates than normal. We have fruit trees on our property so I had a grapefruit at night and I had some blueberries and a pretty big salad and some stir fry vegetables too and like one or two pieces of dark chocolate. So my carbohydrate for the day yesterday was probably about 100 grams of carbs and probably about a third of that was fiber and I was still in a state of mild ketosis because I was fairly active like throughout the day. And now, that may not be the case for everybody. I know some kids that follow the ketogenic diet for epilepsy or other things, the amount of carbohydrate they could have is maybe like one strawberry throughout the entire day. Strawberries are very high in fiber, like, you know, a minimal glycemic response.

But I’m in contact with many different parents, I’ve seen, you know, hundreds if not thousands of dietary plans and I’ve seen the blood levels of different people from kids to adults and I have to say that there’s a lot of variability. And I’ve also conversed with some elite-level Olympic athletes who follow nutritional ketosis and they can stay in a state of ketosis eating about 200 to 250 grams of carbohydrates a day, but they’re also exercising like four to six hours a day and they’re probably at a caloric deficit too. So you have a lot of extremes in this and it really comes down to food preferences.

So figure out what kind of food you like and incorporate more of those foods and that could be…you know, typically most people like fish and chicken and beef and pork things like that, and eggs. And if you are baking, you can use different types of flours that are on the market now. Some of them are nut flours and you can make muffins and cakes, and we make pancakes in our house occasionally. So you can have the comfort foods too. And there are a lot of entrepreneurs scrambling to really enter this space and they’re developing everything from low-carb ketogenic brownies to cookies, to hamburger buns, to barbecue sauce. I mean, there’s so many different products.

We hosted the Metabolic Health Summit just like a few weeks ago and the amount of stakeholders in this space is growing like exponentially, and that’s in academia to clinical medicine, to industry, to media, to just general public. So this space is growing quite rapidly and a lot of these companies are developing products that are really serving the community that I’m networked in. And that includes the epilepsy community, which is like the diet it has a very good track record for, and a number of these other emerging applications, Type 2 diabetes being one of them.

And there’s a lot of different…you know, not one ketogenic diet. It’s not a one size fits all so when you read a study about a ketogenic diet produced a positive effect or a negative effect or no effect, most importantly, the most important thing is to figure out what kind of ketogenic diet this study used. I mean, there’s an infinite amount of ketogenic diets. The early ketogenic diets were heavily based on hydrogenated fats, believe it or not, or even Crisco. And we’ve just, we know a lot more about nutrition now and I believe there’s ways to formulate a ketogenic diet that could be healthy for everybody but it may not be for everybody depending on your dietary preferences, I would say.

Katie: So what about exogenous zones? This is something I actually have not personally experimented with but I actually have some on their way to me now and I am really curious about and I know you’ve done some research on. So what is the role of exogenous zones in a keto diet and what do we need to know about using it?

Dr. Dominic: Yeah, that’s maybe what I’m known for because when I first started studying the ketogenic diet, my goal was to use the ketogenic diet for oxygen toxicity seizures, which are sort of a military problem. The program officer in the military at the time did not like the idea of putting someone on a high-fat ketogenic diet. It was too restrictive and they knew people just wouldn’t do it. So they asked me to develop kind of a ketogenic diet in a pill. So many years ago, you know, I started developing different strategies and one of the strategies would be a ketone ester and the development of ketone mineral salts, which is basically taking a ketone body that your body makes naturally, like a bioidentical molecule, and then combining that with an electrolyte like sodium, potassium, or magnesium.

And then you can actually make these things in a laboratory and develop a powder out of it and then you can consume this orally in a shake or a drink and it can elevate your ketone levels. Beta-hydroxybutyrate is what we measure with a meter. And then that is clinically the state of nutritional or what we call therapeutic ketosis. So it’s elevating an energy molecule in the blood that kind of has a superior energetic value. If your body can make more ATP, which is the energy currency that our cells use, it can make the ATP more efficiently with ketones. And we also know that these ketone bodies have hormone-like effects and their sigma [SP] molecules that can influence certain pathways, for example, inflammation. They can suppress the levels of inflammation, kind of, in the body.

So there are many different types of exogenous ketones on the market. We test them but, you know, we do not sell them. I think some people out there market things like my supplement. So just for the record, I do not have any ketone supplements myself. We do develop various patents and certain companies have gotten those patents. I do like to test the ketone products that are on the market if I know they’re safe and from a reputable company. And then some of those products I’ve put on the website, ketonutrition.org, just to direct people to reputable companies that are making ketone supplement products that at least have a very good certificate of analysis that are clean products that will actually elevate your ketone levels more or less.

So the benefits of these supplements are that when you consume them, they can give your body energy and I view them as just a ketogenic food. They’re calorie-containing food supplements that when you consume them with a ketogenic diet, they can further elevate your ketones and probably further augment the therapeutic efficacy of the ketogenic diet. Now, there are some situations where someone is unwilling or unable to follow a ketogenic diet. For example, some of the disorders that we study in the lab, you know, kids with different disorders like Angelman syndrome or autism or Kabuki syndrome. That’s another thing.

And I don’t have to get into explaining, you know, these disorders but the kids who have some of these disorders, it’s difficult for them to follow certain types of diets. So a ketone supplement that is formulated, and the flavoring agents can make it to taste good, can offer a lot of benefit to kids with these disorders. And you want to target disorders where the ketogenic diet has already shown to be efficacious, where there’s clinical trials and published studies to share, for example, that a ketogenic diet can treat glucose transporter deficiency syndrome, which is something that we study.

So, many kids, they find it hard to follow that diet. So a supplement which elevates ketones, which is therapeutic molecule that can help individuals who have glucose transporter deficiency, that supplement really maybe almost, I’m not going to say the magic bullet, but it can be the therapeutic thing that can help to manage that particular metabolic disorder. And that’s where we really try to direct a lot of our energy and time and effort into not only working on military applications of these ketone supplements but using that science to really develop things that can be used in the clinical field too. And we have a study, there’s an ongoing study at Vanderbilt University that uses ketone supplementation for Angelman syndrome, which is a rare genetic disorder that just happens to be responsive to the ketogenic diet. So there’s an ongoing study right now in kids with Angelman syndrome that’s using ketones supplements.

Katie: That’s fascinating. And speaking of electrolytes, is that something that we need to be aware of and supplement with on keto diet long term, I know there are some sources say you need more electrolytes if you eat low carb and are keto and are there other supplements that we should know about as well?

Dr. Dominic: Yeah, that’s a good point because when you’re in a state of nutritional ketosis just by adjusting the macronutrient ratios, we know that you’re suppressing the hormone insulin. And when you do that, you tend to excrete more water and more electrolytes with that, including sodium and maybe potassium and magnesium, so you tend to maybe get a little bit dehydrated in the beginning. And at the same time, a lot of people go through what they call the keto flu. And the keto flu is feeling a little bit of a headache, you might be a little bit lethargic, and you just don’t feel great. That could be dehydration and what we call hyponatremia, which is low sodium. So it’s actually really important to stay well hydrated and actually make sure you’re getting enough sodium, which there’s initial sodium loss, especially the first two or three weeks.

You don’t necessarily have to, you know, go buy electrolyte supplements. They may help some people but what I tell people is to have like a good quality bone broth or make your own bone broth. You might want to literally salt your food, whether that be a salad or beef that you’re cooking, and that should be more than enough. The diet tends to suppress your appetite and also your thirst so you want to make sure that even if you’re not thirsty that you’re consuming enough water, especially during the initial two to three weeks of the diet because you’re probably gonna be a little bit dehydrated and you might get some cramps and feel a little bit lethargic. So it’s extra important to get, you know, water and electrolytes during that first few weeks.

Katie: Gotcha.

This episode is brought to you by Beekeepers Naturals – superfood products from the hive that help support your family’s health. Right now, their Propolis has been a lifesaver with all of the sniffles and coughs going around where we live. Propolis is a resinous mixture that bees make in the hive and contains over 300 compounds including polyphenols and compounds that are antibacterial and a compound called pinocembrin that acts as an antifungal. Some studies have shown that propolis can speed wound healing. It’s natural antibacterial and antifungal properties also make it great for fighting the sniffles. At first sign of any sniffles, sore throat or coughing, I spray propolis in the throat and it almost always helps us bounce back quickly. I also use propolis before flying to avoid picking up anything on the plane. You can save 15% on propolis and all beekeepers naturals products at beekeepersnaturals.com/wellnessmama with the code wellnessmama

This podcast is brought to you by Four Sigmatic – my source for superfood mushrooms. Four Sigmatic makes delicious mushroom infused coffees, teas and elixirs that I use daily. From their lower caffeine coffee and coffee packets infused with lions mane that I drink in the morning, to chaga and cordyceps for focus while I work and Reishi to wind down at night… these products are a regular part of my routine. Here’s a tip… I’ve found that for deep sleep, a packet of reishi with a splash of macadamia milk and a tiny sprinkle of salt and a drop of stevia helps me get more deep sleep and I’ve seen this consistently and measurably in my sleep tracking. As a listener of this podcast, you can save 15% by going to foursigmatic.com/wellnessmama and using the code “wellnessmama”

Katie: And now for a somewhat controversial question, there are a lot of opinions about whether or not women should do a keto diet at all and if we can modify it in certain ways based on our hormones. I know personally I feel like I can do it fine especially if I cycle it and I test a lot of different markers and I handle it well, but I also handle fasting really well and some women don’t. There’s a very personalized aspect to this. So based on your research and experience, do you think that the keto diet is also effective and/or safe for women?

Dr. Dominic: Yeah, I can’t make that recommendation. I’ll give you my opinion. But so you may have trained your metabolism to be…and I think what I’ve observed is that there are women who simply initially they cannot fast at all. They get lightheaded and I mean, we’ve had individuals like almost faint in the lab, if not, you know, faint and just like can’t stand up after fasting. Women, their physiology is very responsive to changes and they could have orthostatic hypotension. They could have, you know, changes in just their brain energy levels. The female physiology, in my opinion, is that it’s much more reactive to low levels of glucose and insulin. So if your glucose gets low, that may have sort of a greater exaggerated response in a female compared to a male.

Males maybe tolerate fasting a little bit better. I don’t know if it’s a male thing to just kind of power through it but I definitely feel that there are physiological differences between females and males that make it harder for females to become robustly fat adapted. And one way to train your metabolism to be more fat adapted or keto adapted is to do things like intermittent fasting and then transition more gradually to eating low carbs and over time I feel like you could train your metabolism. But many women just tend to feel better adding some form of carbohydrates to the diet and I would say I’m of the opinion that a lower-carb diet would just be much healthier long term than a high carb diet and women who just cannot do the ketogenic diet for any reason I would advocate for them to at least do a lower carb diet or lower glycemic index diet and then capping carbs at like, you know, a one gram per pound, you know, or less if they really want to get metabolic benefits.

But I think people…I’m a big believer in self-experimentation. So I think people need to try the diet and see if it’s for them, and to honestly try a ketogenic diet, you have to stick with it for really six to eight weeks. A lot of people don’t want to hear that but you really have to honestly stick with it for six to eight weeks and measure your ketones to validate that you’re actually in a state of nutritional ketosis because once that blood ketone level gets elevated, that’s giving your brain an alternative form of energy and that’s where you really start to…the lights kind of come off and you start to feel a lot of the benefits of the ketogenic diet.

And for me, I went through, sort of, a learning curve to this and it probably wasn’t until the third month where I was like really myself totally, because I started with the Johns Hopkins protocol of like more of a dairy-based ketogenic diet and then I started transitioning off of that and was just doing more like whole foods and less dairy and I just had to find not only the macronutrient ratios but the types of foods that were working best for me. And also, it was kinda hard to get the calories. My metabolism was pretty fast, so it was kinda hard for me to get all the calories that I needed and that initial calorie deficit caused me to lose weight over time, especially the first…I think I lost about 10 pounds the first…without trying. I was actually trying not to lose weight. It was almost impossible not to lose weight.

So that side effect may be a benefit to a lot of people. They like the idea that they can eat and feel fully satiated and still continue to lose weight. And I don’t know of any other diet that can really allow you to do that unless you’re doing like a raw vegan diet, and that’s really hard to do, but a ketogenic diet I think has greater weight loss benefits than a raw vegan diet and it’s actually more practical from my perspective.

Katie: That brings up another point that I’m just personally interested in right now. Well, obviously the keto diet assists in weight loss and I have lost a significant amount of weight in the last year, not from only low carb, I’ve used a variety of methods and eat more food that I previous had. From your own experience, do you have any research or tips on how to gain muscle while still either losing fat or maintain fat loss? This is a balance a lot of people have trouble finding the sweet spot for.

Dr. Dominic: Yeah. So you are hitting on all great questions. So that’s a topic of debate, especially on social media in the fitness forums. Like, can you gain muscle on a ketogenic diet? There’s absolutely…I mean, we published a paper with our Italian colleagues back in 2012, I believe, and it was elite-level gymnasts that used a ketogenic diet and they were able to maintain their strength and they had more remarkable body composition alterations over time. So basically, you know, at the end of the study, they preserved their muscle and they lost more body fat. They did not gain any more muscle than the gymnasts that were following their standard dietary protocol, but so they had a very intense training routine and the amount of muscle that they gained was the same, actually they just maintained. So being able to maintain your muscle while you’re losing body weight and losing fat, like that’s actually a gain because, you know, if you lose weight but still have the same amount of lean body mass, that’s actually pretty significant.

So we established that early on and what we’ve learned over the years is that protein is actually really important. So the standard ketogenic diet requires, you know, a level of protein that’s restricted and in athletes, that’s probably not the best thing to do. So the data, as I understand it right now, from all the data that’s available, suggests that, you know, from a clinical ketogenic diet perspective, they tell you to have one gram per kilogram of body weight and you don’t need more than that. But for an athlete, you definitely need more than that, not only to maintain weight but if your goal is to gain muscle and strength, I would say 1.5 grams per kilogram at least, especially if you have a fast metabolism.

So I’m kind of heavy. I’m 100 kilograms, so for me, that’s 150 grams protein per day. And if someone, a clinical practitioner of the ketogenic diet, was to look at my diet and see me getting 150 grams of protein a day, well they would say, no, you’re nowhere near a ketogenic diet. But I am doing a ketogenic diet because my ketones would be elevated. So I think if someone’s a bit heavier and has more muscle and body mass, they can get away with more protein and they’re actually gonna need more protein to be able to retain that muscle and their need to increase protein higher than what would be a normal ketogenic diet to gain muscle over time.

So proteins are very, very important, obviously, for gaining muscle and the amount of protein you need. If your goal is strength and performance, if you’re an athlete, the amount of protein you need would probably be into that 30% of your diet range as opposed to a clinical ketogenic diet, which is like 10% to 15%. Like you literally need about double the amount of protein. And this gets into, you know, what is a hot topic now even in clinical medicine is the modified ketogenic diet. And that was actually advanced by Dr. Eric Kossoff at Johns Hopkins and the modified ketogenic diet, also called the modified Atkins diet, but the modified ketogenic diet is actually used for adults with epilepsy. And that’s like double the amount of protein than the diet that’s used for kids. And like I said, it’s much higher in protein, about 20% to 30% protein, relative to the pediatric epilepsy diet, which is like 12% to 15% protein.

Katie: Okay. That’s good. And I think that raises another question is what about fasting? I mentioned this earlier in the episode, and again, of course, with the caveat that some women will not handle this well. I feel like I do. I’m actually on day three of a water fast right now and my ketones are about 3.5 and I also pole vaulted this morning. But I’m curious, I know that you intermittent fast and you’ve also done longer fasts from what I’ve read. So what is your take on fasting for overall health and also for things like cancer prevention and all the other applications?

Dr. Dominic: Yeah. I’m a fan of fasting for many years. When I was really into weightlifting and strength training, I was eating like six meals a day and I would get anxiety if I went more than like three or four hours without a meal. So thinking that my body needs energy for growth and repair and that I would be taking a step backwards if I didn’t have that meal. But over the years, I’ve learned that once your body is adapted to burning fat and ketones for fuel that the ketones are very protein sparing and that has resulted in the whole area of science that we’re really focused on now with cancer cachexia, so muscle-sparing effects of ketones.

So my Ph.D. student that just graduated did a whole Ph.D. dissertation studying the anti-catabolic effects of ketones. So what that means is that, you know, if you are following a low-carb diet or doing a ketogenic diet and you do periodically fast, whether you do intermittent fasting or short-term fast or even long-term fast like a week or more, your body is more metabolically tuned to spare that muscle protein. And I think there’s clinical evidence to support this. And also, well, we have some work to be published, once you fast and once you do it a few times, you can actually enter the state of ketosis faster. So if you do fasting or you did the ketogenic diet and get off of the ketogenic diet, do like a standard diet and go back to fasting or go back to a ketogenic diet again, your body will make ketones much faster.

It’s almost like you know when you work out, you have muscle memory and you work up to like a certain level of bench press, you take time off…it may take you two or three years to get up to 200-pound bench press, but if you take a couple of months off, you’re going to lose a lot of that strength but if you start back up again, instead of two years, you can get back up to that level in like two months. Your metabolism is the same way. If you train your metabolism to burn fat and make ketones and burn ketones and you do it over time, the more you do it, the easier it gets and the more benefits you derive from it but also the faster your body jumps back into that fat-burning mode when you start fasting again or when you do a ketogenic diet. So that has pretty important practical implications.

I’m a fan of fasting. In the beginning, I was not. I had to be sold on it. And it was actually the scientific literature, reading paper after paper of the benefits of periodic calorie restriction, intermittent fasting, and ketones, which got me thinking as an academic scientist, you know, I’m doing this in the lab and I’m seeing the benefits. We solve very real benefits in the lab, even survival from things like metastatic cancer that I had to do this myself and I had to experience it myself and I’m kind of a self-experimenter. So over the years, I’ve done up to a seven-day fast, you know, and periodically, I like to do it when I’m traveling, and my wife and I travel together most of the time, but if I’m traveling alone and I know she’s not with me and having to eat because she doesn’t really do a lot of the crazy things I do. If I’m traveling alone, I like to just fast occasionally and traveling, that can be kind of convenient.

So I personally do it, I’ve experienced benefits from it that I’ve documented, and I’ve been in touch with many other people who do this. And I think it really does have real benefits. I think some people take it a little too far, but if you were to do a short-term fast for a couple of days, you know, every few months, I think that’ll really translate to real-world benefits.

Katie: As we get close to the end, I’d actually love to do a round two with you one day, I know that you’re very much in the research and a lot of people listening are women, but I’d love if we could talk about some practical takeaways that we can all learn from your research. So moms, parents, those of us who may not be lifting heavy weights, what are some of the things you’re seeing in the data right now that we can all learn from and adopt and benefit from doing?

Dr. Dominic: Yeah. Well, for women specifically, I think it’s really important for women when they start a ketogenic diet or they do intermittent fasting, a lot of times this scenario presents that women will start a new exercise routine so they’ll bump up their exercise, they will calorie restrict, and they’ll start the ketogenic diet all at one time. And so you have a lot of variables contributing to things that could potentially slow down your metabolism and decrease YOUR thyroid level. So if you are experimenting with a ketogenic diet, I would say keep all variables sort of the same and do not restrict your calories. So just adjust the macronutrient ratios to ratios that would be ketogenic and keep your training the same and see how it affects your body and let your body adapt to that because there’s gonna be some initial stress, you know, associated with the adaptation. And once your body adapts to that, then start, you know, adjusting the calories or ramping up your training and things like that.

So I think that’s really an important practical takeaway because it seems like so many women who start a ketogenic diet or start intermittent fasting also start, you know, they do it for contest preparation or they do it for a sport or to just to lose weight for a particular event. They like shotgun a lot of things at once. So they do ketogenic intermittent fasting, calorie restriction, and overexercising, and simply just overexercising can, sort of, drop your metabolism if you’re over-trained. So I think it’s important to kind of ease into this, more important for women than for men. So kind of say that off the bat. And also the exogenous ketones that are on the market right now really can help people transition into that, help people get through that initial keto flu, as some people call it, or that transition from a carbohydrate-based metabolism to a ketone-based metabolism.

So for intermittent fasting, for example, they may want to break the fast not with a big protein meal, but maybe with a ketone supplement and they can extend the benefits of the fast I believe because your glucose level would still stay low and your ketones would be elevated. And then maybe, you know, two or three hours later, have a balanced meal or a ketogenic meal, you know, for example, they may want to do that. And that has made transitioning into these things a little bit easier for them. And there’s so many resources that are available too online whether it be recipe books, even snacks.

So I do have the opportunity to test a lot of foods that are emerging on the market. Some of them are not on the market yet, but I can tell you there are a lot of, you know, ketogenic chocolates that are coming out, ketogenic brownies, ketogenic cookies, and some of them are ketogenic and some of them are not. But the good thing is that there are legitimate forms of chocolate bars and brownies and cookies and things that are entering the market. I’m a big fan of just whole food nutrition, but some of these snacks are really…these comfort foods are important to have time to time because otherwise a lot of people may feel deprived. And I know it certainly helps for kids because some kids that follow the diet kind of feel ostracized if they’re not able to eat certain foods. So that has made the transition for kids who need to follow it for a medical reason, it has made it much easier for them.

So there’s a lot of practical things that we’ve sort of garnered over the years, knowledge that we’ve learned, and also companies are developing technologies that are making the diet easier to implement and also easier to monitor. For example, Readout Health has a device that’s a breath acetone meter that I used all day today to check my own ketone levels. So BioSense is the device and instead of having to prick your finger and draw blood, you just simply blow into this device and it tells you your breath ketone levels. And I could blow into it hundreds of times and not have go buy strips. You just buy the device and it’s super easy to use. You can download the app and it tells you, it tracks all your ketone levels, and breath acetone is a very good marker of fat oxidation. So the higher that breath ketone level, you know you’re really cranking out, you’re really burning lots of fat if that level gets higher.

So for people, you know, the everyday person, and I know many people are looking at, you know, this approach to burn fat, something like the breath acetone meter by BioSense, you know, without having to stick your finger and pay for all the strips would be a very useful practical device for people.

Katie: Got it. I’m curious, what are you excited for in the future of research? Are there trends that you’re seeing right now that you think are up and coming that we should be excited about in this area of research?

Dr. Dominc: Yeah, there’s a lot of activity in this area and it’s kind of surreal to see because when I started studying this, it was pediatric epilepsy was the only application and it was very marginalized even at the American Epilepsy Conference, but now there’s just so much buzz all over. And the things that I think are gonna be most important in the future are like big health issues. Obesity we know is kind of a big problem but Type 2 diabetes is like a huge problem, especially in the over-50 crowd and it’s a huge healthcare burden. So Virta Health is doing a lot of work and the Virta Health website really documents all the studies that they’ve published.

And you know, a lot of people when they hear that a ketogenic diet can treat Type 2 diabetes, of course, they become skeptical that you can get patients off insulin or their medication but they do and, you know, they’ve proven this. And that’s been really interesting to see that science evolve. And we’re in a completely opposite direction. We’re working with the military and our company, Ketone Technologies, we sponsor research, working with NASA on various projects. And at this point now, it’s really understanding extreme environments and ultimately, you know, trying to formulate metabolic-based strategies including nutritional strategies that can optimize performance and safety of the warfighter, but also the astronaut.

So my wife and I had the opportunity to participate in the NASA extreme environment mission operations where we’re on a crew with astronauts and we’re under the Atlantic and we actually do research for a week or more underneath the water. We were living in a hyperbaric environment and I had the opportunity to do the ketogenic diet for 10 days submerged underwater. And if it was…you know, we’re still analyzing the data from that a couple of years later and we’re preparing for more space analog missions, you know, with NASA this year.

So that’s a big part of what we’re doing now and a lot of time, effort, and money and resources are being kind of channeled into understanding these extreme environments and developing what we think could be a ketogenic strategy for optimizing performance in these environments.

Katie: Definitely. I follow your research really closely and I think it’s amazing just to see everything that is coming up right now, and I’ll definitely keep watching in the future. Like I said, I’d love to do a round two one day if you’re willing, but I’m really grateful for your time today and sharing your expertise.

Dr. Dominic: Absolutely, I will. Thanks for having me on, Katie. Appreciate it.

Katie: And as always, all of you for listening and sharing one of your most valuable assets, your time, with us today. We’re so grateful that you did and I hope that you will join me again for the next episode of the “Wellness Mama” podcast.

If you’re enjoying these interviews, would you please take two minutes to leave a rating or review on iTunes for me? Doing this helps more people to find the podcast, which means even more moms and families could benefit from the information. I really appreciate your time, and thanks as always for listening.

Source: https://wellnessmama.com/podcast/dominic-dagostino/

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dodge charger insurance 20 year old

dodge charger insurance 20 year old

dodge charger insurance 20 year old

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