#(the golden hour has really treated me well lately)

[alchemistc]

The sky was doing So Much this evening.

[cheriladycl01]

I’d rather take my Whiskey neat - Lando Norris x Whiskey! Reader

Plot: Reader thinks she’s not good for gentle Lando Norris who has a smile bright as the morning and is soft as the rain…

It can't be said I'm an early bird It's ten o'clock before I say a word Baby, I can never tell How do you sleep so well?

You never woke up early, you went to bed never earlier than 2am and were never up before 10am. It was a habit you'd got from university and it carried over into post graduation.

For Lando, he never found it an issue. In his mind you would have the bulk of the day together and everything he needed to do for racing, like his work out of time on the sim he could do when you were sleeping. Sometimes he liked to treat himself and have a lay in with you but for the most part Lando was an early riser.

Some mornings he really just loved watching you sleep... pushing your hair back a little before placing a kiss on your cheek and leaving for his morning run round Monaco.

You on the other hand hated it, but you couldn't help it, going to bed late was just part of your lifestyle now but guilt ate away at you, feeling as though Lando deserved someone better, someone who could cater to him better than you.

Despite you coming to bed, hours later than him he always felt most content when you were there with him, even if he couldn't cuddle into you because you were on your phone, or writing on your laptop he just liked the smell and feeling of your presence on the room.

You keep telling me to live right To go to bed before the daylight But then you wake up for the sunrise You know you don't gotta pretend, baby, now and then

"Come on baby, getting up early isn't bad, it's so good for your mental and physical health and honestly i don't think you'll have these thoughts..." he's chuckle at you, sending you into yet another self-hatred spiral that makes you reconsider everything.

"Baby, you just need to fall asleep earlier, sometimes your still up when i wake up!" he chuckles at you and you'd frown, looking down again. You knew that some nights, on the bad ones that you'd be up until the sunrise, and hadn't yet slept, whereas Lando would be waking up, the golden rays across his gorgeous body.

Don't you just wanna wake up, dark as a lake? Smelling like a bonfire, lost in a haze? If you're drunk on life, babe, I think it's great But while in this world

You were salt, he was sugar. He was the sun and you were the moon and sometimes you worked together beautifully like sweet and salted popcorn, or an eclipse but other times you were at these crossroads that made no sense.

You were an introvert, and Lando could be an introvert too, but that didn't mean he didn't like to go out and party, and ... of course that was great for him and you never stopped him but sometimes when he forced you to come out with him, it felt like you were in a completely different world. All of his friends were ... well they were friends with Lando and while having their own personalities, they werent the opposite to him.

Lando seemed so happy and content with his life, especially when out with friends, maybe it was because it was the only time you could stare and not be caught because there was so much present in bars and clubs he found himself, and you never saw the adoring looks he reserved for you at home when you were both wrapped up in a blanket on the sofa in matching pyjamas.

I think I'll take my whiskey neat My coffee black and my bed at three You're too sweet for me You're too sweet for me

One of the first moments when you realised a start difference between yourself and Lando was when you first went out for drinks win London with him and a few other drivers and their girlfriends.

"And the lady ..." the bartender asks with a smirk after he'd taken Lando's order of just a coke to start off with. Despite having only been together for a month, Lando was pretty protective of your guys relationship and his arm had come around you as the bartender waited.

"Just your house whiskey please, neat" you'd asked and all of his friends stopped their conversations to look round at you. Even the bartender seemed shocked.

"What?" you asked them all wondering if you'd said something offensive or rude.

"Nothing, don't even know how you and this Muppet are together, total opposites" Carlos had laughed before turning back to Rebbeca to continue their conversation.

"Whiskey, Neat? Tough Drink" Max had said before reaching out to hand Kelly her drink.

You'd been confused but that was what had started your thoughts.

Lando Norris, was far too sweet for your ... taste!

But that was according to everyone else. Even though you were the same age as Lando, because of how you spoke and who you'd surrounded yourself with in your earlier life people thought you were already pretty mature, but placing you next to Lando made him look like a kid in a candy store and you as his mother.

Lando Norris was everything you wished you were. Bright, happy, silly, kind ... and some says you felt like you were just Dark, Dispersed, Strict and Bitter.

And you'd convinced yourself you were sucking the life out of Lando Norris.

I aim low, I aim true and the ground's where I go I work late where I'm free from the phone And the job gets done But you worry some, I know

"Come on for once cant we do something spontaneous ... and I don't know out of your comfort zone, like ... not your job" he sighed one day.

He was a little ratty from the complicated previous race weekend that you'd had to miss due to work. And then you'd been working since he'd come back... into the late of the night. But you had deadlines to meet so it wasn't like you really had a choice. People were expecting stuff from you and you weren't going to not deliver.

"Baby, you know i cant. Next week once this is due in!" you'd sighed looking over at him for a split second before looking back at your laptop.

He left, going up to bed ... sad you hadn't come up with him again.

But who wants to live forever, babe? You treat your mouth as if it's Heaven's gate The rest of you like you're the TSA I wish that I could go along, babe, don't get me wrong

The conversation you were about to have with Lando you knew would be the hardest one you ever had.

He was so perfect, and pure and you could see you were slolwy starting to taint that. He'd started to sacrifice his sleep schedule to stay up late with you. He wouldn't hang out with his friends as much as he used to and you hated he was changing himself for you.

It didn't feel like you were with Lando Norris anymore. And that's why you got with him in the first place.

And god you loved him for those attributes.

You know, you're bright as the morning, as soft as the rain Pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape If you can sit in a barrel, maybe I'll wait Until that day

He was bright, like a morning. Sometimes if it was around 4 or 5am and you'd just finished up with your work you'd purposely wait until the sun started to shine through the blinds just to see his back light up golden and his face smushed against the pillow his soft lips in a pout.

But you ... you were cold like a December Morning, when you would refuse to get out from under the covers and when you did slippers were a must because the cold wooden floors weren't a polite awakening.

He was soft, like a light drizzle along a pagoda where you could sit and listen to the water hit the ground for hours.

And you were a rain-storm, so harsh that when you went out in it the water would sting as it hit you.

He was pretty, so fucking pretty it hurt when you looked at him, pretty as a vine winding up the side of a castle that how flowers spurting from it.

You were the gnarly kind, with thorns that wrapped around and antient tree that looked like it was strangling the air from it.

Lando most of all was sweet, sweet like a grape when you bite into it and it has the crisp outer layer before the sweet juices explode in your mouth.

But you were like a crushed grape being made into fine wine, maybe a dry like a Cabernet Sauvignon.

And you would wait for him, maybe when he was a little older, more mature and maybe it was you who was destined to taint him and turn him into that bitter old man who had experienced the world as you had seen it.

But ... now wasn't the right time.

You would always take your Whiskey neat.

And Lando ...

Well.

He was far too sweet.

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul l @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @viennakarma @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @seomako @urdad-hot @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount @styl1shl1v

[mncxbe]

# pm!dazai who has a crush on his partner/rival ݁ღೀ๋࣭ ⭑𝒄𝒘: jealous, slightly posessive dazai, mild enemies to lovers, dazai and his complicated feelings

"i can't believe you actually have a crush on Chibi. what's so special about him?" huffed the brunette, leaning against the lamppost behind him. the dim, golden light bounced off his brown curls, illuminatung his downcast expression.

"what, are you jealous?" you retorted, earning a scowl from Dazai. "don't be ridiculous."

it was mere hours ago that your archenemy found out that Chuuya asked you out on a date. an insignificant thing, really, but it vexed him. what on earth could you possibly see in that redhead midget? he just had to know, and as petty as it might be, he was dead set on changing your mind about going on that date. even if it meant following you back home and talking things out with you in front of your apartment at 9 p.m.

"i'm just saying, Nakahara isn't your type. i know it" argued the brunette, crossing his arms over his chest. "he's temperamental, immature, totally unfunny and shorter than you"

"maybe i'm into guys like that" you shrugged absentmindedly, applying an extra layer of gloss on your plump lips.

Dazai had to admit you looked absolutely stunning in that outfit. he felt his cheeks warm up as his gaze lingered on your lips but he quickly looked away, shaking his head. "that's not possible. are you really that desperate to get a boyfriend?"

"well, summer's coming soon. i need someone to take pretty pictures of me at the beach and to buy me flowers" you smiled, fully turning to face him "you got a problem with that?"

"you bet i do. that's just vain and i don't see where Chuuya comes in. you could date any other guy."

"yea, but i like Chuuya. besides, we get along well and he actually knows how to treat a woman"

and I don't? Dazai wanted to ask. his blood boiled, jealousy clouding his judgement as he peered down at you. imagining you and Chuuya together holding hands and walking down the halls of the Port Mafia's headquarters, kissing and cooing at each other like a lovey dovey couple made his stomach churn. it felt wrong in so many ways, yet here you were, waiting for the redhead to pick you up for a date. with each minute that passed Dazai's irritation grew.

"for someone who knows how to treat a woman he sure is late for your date" he scoffed, rolling his eyes. you took a step closer to the brunette, a mocking smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

"you're acting so petty right now. damn, you must be really jealous"

"i'm not jealous" Dazai's sharp glare returned to you, clenching his fists as he leaned closer to you. "i just think it's stupid. you two would never work out"

"how do you know that?" you pressed, chuckling at his unfounded claim. you weren't used to seeing Dazai like this, so worked up about something so insignificant.

"because i know you and i know Chuuya and you're a recipe for disaster. i'll be damned if i let you get heartbroken by that idiot" without realizing, Dazai leaned closer to you, his body towering over yours. he was seething, glaring down at you. his chocolate brown eyes seemed almost black in the dark, menacing, a warning of his bad mood. you knew you should stop pushing him, but you just couldn't help yourself. you wanted him to say what he truly had on his mind.

"and who are you to say who gets to break my heart and who doesn't?" your words struck a cord and Dazai's features darkened. it was a damn good point: he wasn't your friend, just a colleague. no, your self proclaimed archenemy. although you've known each other for years, he knew there was no deeper connection between you than the childish rivalry. but that was enough to make Dazai grow attached and develop a sense of ownership over you. or maybe feelings? in any case, how could he possibly allow Chuuya to take you away from him? he swore he could see red before his eyes when your phone's screen lit up and he read Chuuya's name on display.

before you could answer Dazai seized your wrist, wrapping a hand around your jaw to tilt your head up, forcing you to meet his gaze. he brought his face mere inches away from your, so close you could feel his hot breath against your lips as he spoke. "who i am? i'm the one who's been by your side all this time, though thick and thin. yea, you're an annoying brat most of the time and i hate your guts but i'll be damned if i let Nakahara take you away from me. you're mine, got it? i'll take your stupid pictures at the beach and buy you flowers if that's what it takes for you to drop this stupid date"

your breath caught in your throat at his sudden outburst. did he actually confess? it didn't quite feel like it. your gaze mused on his features as you searched for answers, but you didn't find any in the sharp line of his mouth or the furrow of his brows. "so... what are you asking me to do?" you breathed out, a mere whisper that sent shivers down Dazai's spine. he let go of your wrist, wrapping a steady arm around your waist.

shit, he really didn't think this though. he's never been good with his words and now that he had you in his arms, so close he could smell your intoxicatung scent and feel the warmth of your breath on his skin his brain short-circuited. "i... i'm asking you to stay with me tonight. and from now on. i'll take you to dinner instead" he said softly, his harsh features melting away when you nodded. "thought you hated my guts" you chuckled, gathering the courage to cup his face with your hand. his skin was surprisingly soft. Dazai leaned into your touch, a shadow of a smile etching itself on his features "well... i wasn't lying. but i hate the idea of you dating Chuuya more. can't let him put his hands all over my pretty girl" sighed the brunette, his lips ghosting over yours "so? will you stay with me?"

goosebumps raised on your skin as you closed the distance between you, pressing your lips against his. the kiss was heated, desperate but oh so loving. threading his fingers through your hair, Dazai gently tugged at your roots, making you mewl into his mouth. when he pulled back, his signature smirk was back in place. "i'll take that as a yes then?"

"yea, idiot" you giggled, looking down at your phone to hide your blush. "just let me text Chuuya not to come then we can go grab some food"

Dazai nodded, taking a few steps back. he was beyond pleased with himself. though he didn't necessarrily planned to confess, things went smoother than he thought they would. and he finally got a date with the girl he liked and snatched her from Chuuya. there couldn't be any better turn of events. you watched Dazai lean back against the lamppost with a content smile and you could barely suppress a laughter.

opening Chuuya's chat, you quickly typed in a text.

AAGHHSJSJ!!! your plan worked Dazai asked me out. Chuuya you're a fucking genius thanks for this. i owe you big time bestie.

[viperify]

Smutmas 2024 | ᴛᴏᴍ ʀɪᴅᴅʟᴇ x ʀᴏꜱɪᴇʀ ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

I Appreciate You.

Short summary: After some persuasion, Tom joins you for Christmas dinner. Only then he finds out your parents haven’t exactly treated you well and seizes the opportunity to show you what it means to be truly appreciated.

Warnings: nothing, just fluff (for now…)

A/N: I have entered a bad case of writing block halfway through this, so I cut it short. I AM SORRY. I’ll take a day or two off and write a pt 2☹️

wordcount: 1,6k

Tom and you have been friends for a while – or rather study accomplices, as he would call it. Though lately, you have grown closer. Oddly close, at least if you knew Riddle, who wasn’t one to interact with others unless it served a purpose. You have known that from the beginning, so it never really appeared to you why he would be different towards you exactly – but you weren’t going to complain about someone tutoring you after all – someone who was equally as smart as pretty.

“You forgot pearl dust.” he sighs in disappointment, not looking up as he fidgets with his quill. “Tom it’s been two hours, my head is a mess. Let’s take a break?”

His gaze flicks from his quill to your eyes and stares at you briefly before speaking up. “I don’t take breaks. If you want me to keep being generous enough to help you, you do it my way.”

That’s how it goes every single time. You don’t argue against it – you just do what he says. The desperation to become better at Potions is greater than your ego after all and you have also come to notice it is better not to talk back to him. The last time you did, he wouldn’t even speak to you for two weeks after.

Tom clears his throat and you return your focus to the present. “It’s been an unnecessarily long time since you have started staring at me. Focus on your textbook.”

“Right, right! Sorry.” Your cheeks heat up and you repeat the brewing process from the beginning.

After what feels like an eternity, he is satisfied – as much as he could be. Tom obviously is never fully satisfied, always has something to criticize that you didn’t do right, something he says you would need to work on the next time you two meet to study.

There was always going to be a next time.

As you two pack up, you see house elves working on the Christmas decorations just outside the library, putting up a pine tree and some red and golden ornaments. It’s the Thursday before winter break, and you would soon go home to spend the time with your family. They have told you to bring a friend, though all of them have declined so far. You would just go alone. Until – well, you think about Tom.

“Uh, I actually have one more question.” You start, turning to face him. He raises his eyebrows expectantly signalling you to continue. “Soooo, I have been wanting to ask you whether you wanted to join me for Christmas dinner at home. My parents have asked me to bring someone along.”

“We aren’t friends. Besides that, I don’t celebrate Christmas.”

That’s exactly the answer you assumed he’d give, but you weren’t going to give up that easily. Your family has been talking about him often lately, about the Gaunt family, purebloods just like you. All the things they say you don’t understand anyway. It’s been like that since you were born, they always favoured your older brother over you. You have stopped arguing against it.

“Come on, Tom! It’s just a dinner, one evening. I know you don’t usually leave Hogwarts for Christmas break, I just wanted to give you the opportunity to meet my parents. They have been talking about you.”

He contemplates for a moment then. He is aware that his family, at least his mother’s side, has caught people’s attention. Apparently also the Rosiers’. Rosier family, part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. It would only be to his benefit to get to know them personally. And he hated admitting it, but lately - he has found himself strangely intrigued by you. A smart girl, who wouldn’t normally need his tutoring, not if he didn’t tell you to come back every week for another lesson.

“I suppose I will think about it. If I decide for it, I will join you at the train station.”

Your lips curl into a bright smile. “Thank you, Tommy! You are the best.”

He sighs. “How often have I told you to stop calling me that?”

“Sorry, sorry! I am just super excited to introduce you. They have been pestering me with questions about your mother’s family.”

You swear you see a slight spark in his eyes at the mention of his mother, though his usual stern expression returns just a second later. “Have a good evening.” he replies and leaves you behind at the library without saying another word.

-

There has not been a single sign of Tom when you board the train. Secretly you have hoped he would come and join you, though as soon as you leave the station you find yourself at peace with the fact you’d be going home alone for the break. The scenery shifts as you look out of the window, a thick layer of snow covering the otherwise green Scottish Highlands. You see deer scavenging for any grass they can find, scraping at the frozen ground with their hooves, the nearby hares’ white winter fur blending in perfectly with the scenery.

There aren’t too many students in your wagon, meaning you get to have a compartment all for yourself. Just like normally, your eyes grow tired, voices around you turning into a blur, and you fall asleep.

It wasn’t long until someone clearing their throat, taking a seat next to you woke you again. “So, what’s for dinner?” he asks, and you turn to face him.

Your face lights up at the sight of the person in front of you. “Tom! I am so happy you decided to come along!”

“I suppose it’s a welcome opportunity to connect with another renowned family.” he replies, and you nod, though slightly disappointed. “Of course.”

The rest of the journey, both of you don’t speak much. It’s a weird energy between you, something you don’t quite recognize. You are glad – as glad as you could be, knowing your family awaits you just outside – when the train arrives at your station. Both of you get off, and your mother’s and father’s faces light up at the sight of, not you, but Tom. They greet him first, ask him how the journey has been.

It’s only when you arrive at home that they ask you to help prepare dinner while Tom’s being shown around the manor. Even at dinner they won’t let him be and you wonder whether it was a good decision to bring him home with you.

In a moment of silence, your mother first looks at you, then at him. A smile forms on her face, something you only rarely get to see and you wonder what may be behind it.

“We are so glad you have decided to join us. Our daughter really couldn’t have chosen a better boyfriend.”

Oh.

You feel your heart drop in your chest at her words. They must have misunderstood the situation. Your cheeks heat up and you see Tom’s face changing into one of confusion.

Trying to save the evening, you quickly try to explain. “No it’s- we are not-“

“I am pleased to hear I am meeting your expectations.”

Tom’s words cut you off, and for a moment you aren’t sure whether you have heard him correctly. You blink a few times and shoot him a confused look, and he smiles at you.

Smiles.

You nod quickly, lowering your gaze onto the plate in front of you as you feel your cheeks heat up. For the rest of the evening, you don’t say much, even when you all gather around the Christmas tree. They ask questions about your relationship, which only Tom answers. He sits next to you and as the night progresses, his hand wanders up your lower back, snaking around your waist. You visibly shiver at his touch but decide to play along.

As soon as everyone has excused themselves to bed, you move away a little, escaping his grip. “Tom, I am sorry, they must have completely misunderstood.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t apologize.”

“No really I-“

“Sshhh.” he whispers, his face inching closer to yours then, capturing you in a tender kiss. His hand rests on the back of your head, softly pressing you against him. You inhale deeply as you break apart, your eyes trailing up from his lips to his eyes. It’s only the candles on the Christmas tree that shine a dim light on both of your forms, yet you are able to make out the changed look on his face.

“We shouldn’t.” you murmur, shaking your head.

“I see the way you look at me in the library. And you perfectly know why I want to keep meeting you. Yet both of us are too stubborn to admit it.”

Though you hate to admit it, he’s right.

“I just didn’t think you would like someone like me.”

Tom huffs. “You never acknowledge your worth, and I suspect that is what your parents have taught you. They don’t see your potential. They diminish your achievements. Why do you let them?” he asks, and you rest your head on his shoulder.

“I have stopped caring a long while ago. You know how it is.”

Tom doesn’t reply after that, though his hand continues running up and down your back soothingly. You stay like this for a while, until he slowly turns his head, facing you.

“I will show them what it means to appreciate you.”

His voice is low and controlled as his face is a mere inch away from yours, his breath warm on your skin.

“I will show you what it means to be appreciated.”

[silverbladexyz]

OKAY so i had a really specific idea in my head, i feel like Tecchou would be super oblivious to someone actually having romantic feelings towards him, and it would definitely take him a while to actually realize what’s going on. Imagine reader working with the hunting dogs and having a crush on Tecchou, always being paired up with him to go on missions together, except he literally has no idea about reader feeling something towards him LMAOOO

(I also feel like Jouno would find out about the whole situation early on because of his enhanced senses yk? Feel free to do basically anything with this thought of mine🧍‍♀️)

-🕯

👀 I like how you think, my dear 🕯 anon >:)

The picture does not belong to me. It belongs to it's original owner.

TW: Mentions of death and kidnapping. Tecchou is oblivious and adorable while Jouno and Tachihara are best wingmans. Gender neutral reader.

Tecchou being oblivious to reader's feelings

-Tecchou, despite being the strongest Hunting Dog, was actually the most endearing of them all. He had a strong sense of justice, he never hesitated to save and protect people, and he always treated you with respect, never once judging you for your mistakes or quirks

-Not to mention, he's really pretty! Those golden eyes of his always hold you captive by how gorgeous they are, and the smoothness of his deep voice never fails to make you weak in the knees. Tecchou has some sort of natural beauty to him that would make him look good regardless of what he was doing or wearing. If he weren't a Hunting Dog, he'd make an excellent model

-He intrigued you at first with his habits. You had never seen food combinations as unique as his, and his patience and unwavering stamina amazed you when he would look at ants and other insects for hours upon end. But you quickly grew to find his oddities cute, and even joined him sometimes as he pondered on which foods to mix together next

-Because your ability worked well alongside Tecchou's, it was natural that the two of you were paired together on a lot of missions. Even if you weren't as strong in the field as he was, you were great at support, as well as rescuing the innocent civilians that were unfortunately caught up in the mess. This boosted up the success rate of the missions by a lot, which meant that you and Tecchou were now assigned to more dangerous and time-consuming operations. You didn't mind, since you had always considered him to be a friend. Until one single mission changed everything for you.

-While rescuing the hostages from the kidnappers, you hadn't anticipated that it was a trap until it was too late. When the last hostage was set free, the enemy snuck up on you and caught you by surprise, resulting in you being knocked unconscious due to the powerful ability your opponent wielded. Then, the adversary decided to use you to lure Tecchou; with no intention of releasing you

-At this point, it was obvious that the most reasonable thing one should do is to retreat and call for backup. You had hoped that your partner did just that, since the hostage-taker did have a very strong ability that could rival Tecchou's. But even though you knew that the enemy was going to kill you anyways, you still hoped internally that someone would rescue you

-Right after you made your wish, your saviour burst in. He engaged the criminal in a fight so ferocious that by the end of it, his opponent was unconscious on the ground while Tecchou was no better. But he still rushed towards you and caught you as you were released from your binds, even when he himself was on the verge of collapsing.

-Then, the realisation hit. Tecchou came back, potentially risking his life just for you.

-And just like that, you were now in love with Tecchou Suehiro. Which was... not as amazing as it seemed. Because 1. Tecchou himself didn't express much emotions, much less understand them, and 2. You didn't want to ruin your friendship with him by confessing to him

-Your secret crush would've remained a secret if it weren't for a certain blind colleague of yours who had a temper to match his attitude. Jouno had certainly picked up on your increased heart beat whenever you were around Tecchou, as well as your palms becoming sweatier than normal. And if that wasn't enough, he could swear that he heard your brain crash whenever you spoke to his colleague

-To be honest, Jouno found it quite amusing, and confronted you right after he found out about your crush on Tecchou. Now, normally, people would have wished you luck with your feelings, but Jouno was Jouno; meaning that he couldn't help but let his sadistic tendencies take over when you asked him to keep it a secret

-Cue him smirking as he teases you a lot. Jouno can and will use this information as blackmail material, albeit harmlessly. He'll ask you to fetch a lot more things for him, or do some small favours for him with the threat of telling Tecchou about your feelings, all while you glare at him and that smug smirk on his face while cursing his name a lot in your head

-But after a while of this, Jouno gets quite tired of hearing the same biological reactions from you every time you saw your crush. He doesn't understand why you refrain from confessing to Tecchou, and only deadpans when you tell him about your fear of ruining your friendship with him. And this, my friends, is when wingman!Jouno comes into play

-You see, deep deep down, Jouno cares about you! (He would never admit it though) Although it was fun to tease you and see your reactions, he found it annoying and pitiful that you were forever stuck in the pining stage. So, like any good Hunting Dog would, he settled down to give you some advice on how to get your oblivious crush to like you back. He even drags Tachihara in on this and subtly threatens him to never tell a single soul about your dilemma

-The first piece of advice was to give Tecchou some special chocolates on Valentines Day. It was already a tradition, and plus why not confess through indirect means and save yourself from a harsher rejection? So you gathered up all the expensive ingredients, and made your own Honmei chocolate*; it took a few tries, but you were determined on making it perfect for Tecchou. In the end, the chocolates were so pristine and velvety-looking that anybody eating them could taste the passionate love you made them with in each bite Jouno stole some of them when you weren't looking

-14th of February rolled around, and you nervously gave Tecchou his chocolates that took you a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to make. You made sure to have gifted your colleagues friendship chocolates so that nothing would seem out of place, yet you still felt nervousness wash over you as you handed the chocolate over to your crush. What if he didn't like it? All your efforts would have been ruined then, and you'll have to buy chocolates for yourself instead so you could drown out your sorrows

-You didn't expect Tecchou to simply say 'Thank you for the chocolates'. I feel like even though Tecchou is denser than the average person, he'd know which dates are festivals and celebrations. This man must have received lots of chocolates when he was still in school because he is reallyyy attractive, so he is familiar with the act of receiving and gifting chocolates

-Your crush then opened the box of delicately crafted chocolates, lifted one up as you watched in anticipation with bated breath.... and he dipped it right into beef sauce and ate it. You swore you heard the biggest facepalm ever from Jouno in the distance, while Tachihara winced and gave you a look filled with sympathy. At least Tecchou was still a gentleman and complimented you on the deliciousness of the aforementioned sweets

-If food didn't work, then you'll resort to impressing him. Under Tachihara's suggestion, you might have a better chance impressing him with random but useful knowledge. Many people find intelligence to be an attractive trait, afterall; and maybe Tecchou was one of those people

-So this ended up in you spending many hours upon researching into topics that Tecchou was interested in, with courtesy to Jouno for being able to get the oblivious man to tell him what things he liked. As expected, Tecchou liked anything to do with foods of the same colour, as well as muscle training and hard-working animals like ants and whatnot. And whenever he was about to eat another one of his food combinations, or gaze at another army of formicidae (scientific word for ants), you would always drop an interesting fact, hoping to catch this pretty man's interest

-Except the most he did was compliment you for your rich knowledge, sometimes even asking you questions about the random facts you said. And when Jouno asked Tecchou what he thought about you, Tecchou only replied 'They're a smart and reliable friend. I'm glad to be paired on missions with them.' Tecchou please😭😭😭

-When you found out that knowledge didn't work, you resorted to what all Hunting Dogs were good at: combat! Well, you weren't necessarily going to fight Tecchou. Under the pretence of wanting to improve your fighting skills, you asked Tecchou to spar with you. He agreed it was your ploy to spend more time with him hehe

-Well, apparently Tecchou took the role of training you up a bit too seriously, because instead of impressing him with a new fancy sword trick you learned recently, you were instead collapsed on the floor, out of breath, while he held a bottle of water and patiently waited for you to recuperate. And... well... he isn't called the strongest Hunting Dog for nothing :')

-After all your failed attempts at trying to woo your crush, Jouno had had enough and resorted to his last attempt: which was shoving you and Tecchou into the storage room and locking the door, promising to let you out once you 'confessed'. Tecchou nearly tore the door off it's hinges, but you managed to persuade him to first listen to what you had to say

-The thing is, this man is so dense that when you said to him 'I like you', he merely replied back 'Me too. You're a great friend to me.' And that, my dear readers, is when Jouno performs the facepalm of the century™ (he's eavesdropping behind the door of the storage room)

-So the only thing that remained was for you to grasp Tecchou by the shoulders, and confess your undying and bottled up love for him all in an ardent torrent of words as you stare into his eyes with a fierce passion that could rival his sense of justice. And by the end of the speech, Tecchou is staring at you, speechless, with widened eyes as he processes your feelings for him

-You were almost about to tear down the door yourself and run away from the sheer tension in the room, but what you did not expect was for Tecchou to say that he felt the same towards you. Apparently, he was like this for quite a few months now, however, he always thought that it was just a strong platonic attraction towards you I lied. Now this is when Jouno performs the facepalm of the century™

-But hey! You and Tecchou are a couple now :D. Jouno and Tachihara couldn't stop internally celebrating when they saw the two of you walk out of the storage room, hand in hand and smiling like a pair of lovebirds Teruko kept asking when the wedding would be

I hope this has been enough to feed the Tecchou stans 🖤

*Honmei chocolate is chocolate that is used to profess one's love on Valentines Day

@circinuus @sariel626 @dazaiyohane @riiwrites @judasgot-it @yuugen-benni @irethepotato @yukitomybeloved @chuuyas-beloved @chunshiya (Please let me know if you wish not to be tagged!)

[tianasficrecs168]

Venom fanfic recs

A black dot • means it's a one-shot

A heart ♡ means it's focused on Sexy times (it's pure filth PWP, or like, a plot focused on getting to the porn part lol)

Wildehack: “Intra-personal negotiation” (Eddie/Venom) • How fucked is that, that a compromise that ended with eating raw shark liver under the Golden Gate Bridge in the dead of night is probably the most interpersonally mature he’s ever been? Intra-personally, Venom corrects, not really paying attention.

Arahir: “Wrapped around your finger” (Eddie/Venom) • Venom goes about love in every wrong way he knows how. Thank god for late night television. “Me. They invited me for dinner,” Eddie insists, trying again to make his hair look some specific way in the mirror. He’s given up and started over three times. It’s a double date. Like on that show. “What—what are you watching that there are double dates? Jesus. I should cancel cable. Make you read a book instead.” No!

Impertinence: “Something Like A Pipe Bomb” (Venom/Eddie) Eddie already had enough problems, what with being a busy reporter with an alien parasite, when he caught one of his neighbors holding a fridge above her head. Now he has twice as many problems, including a kid who won't stop treating him like the big brother she never had and a moody alien parasite. Or: you can totally secretly pine while sharing a brain with someone else, as Venom and Eddie are both determined to prove.

Pepperfield: “That blessed arrangement” (Venom/Eddie) • That’s us, Eddie, Venom says suddenly, with a bizarre amount of intensity. We’re like these two fools. Eddie squints at the screen for a second before he understands. “What, married?” Venom is well aware that they live in a romantic comedy. Eddie isn’t, but he’ll get the picture eventually.

Dezemberzarin: “The no dating policy” (Venom/Eddie) • a two-shot series What’s the point? Eddie glances around to the other people hurrying along the sidewalk, lowers his voice until he’s muttering into the collar of his jacket. “I like sex! I want to have sex again in the future, so you’ll have to find a way to deal with it.” If you say so.

xzombiexkittenx: “Nice to Taste” (Venom/Eddie) • Eddie doesn’t do well when he thinks the symbiote died in the fire. He doesn’t tell Dan that suicide is the reason he’s in this mess in the first place. He didn’t go to the Golden Gate Bridge to throw Anne’s engagement ring into the water, he went there to throw himself but got distracted by Dr. Skirth’s messages and justice against Drake instead.

Tuesday: “Terms of Endearment” (Venom/Eddie) • In which there are accidental pet names, Eddie leaning into being in love with an alien symbiote, and an ill-advised kidnapping. — The first time Eddie called Venom dear, it was automatic. They were shopping, and Eddie bypassed the freezer section to pick up some chocolate first. Venom said, "Don't forget the tater tots." Eddie, well-trained by more than one serious relationship in his life, said, "Yes, dear."

Ottergirl: “Heartthrob” (Venom/Eddie) ♡ • He feels encompassing when Eddie says that, he feels like there's no end to him. All that affection in Eddie's voice and the knowing, knowing he wants to be with Venom, wants to belong to Venom. Eddie calls Venom by a pet name, and Venom likes it. Maybe a little too much.

MercurialTenacity: - “Nightlife” (Venom/Eddie) ♡  • Eddie is soft when he sleeps. During the day he’s wound taut, one thing or another always running through his head and keeping tension in his muscles, but when he’s asleep - oh yes, when he’s asleep his defenses melt away. All the hard edges smooth out, his body goes all loose and pliant, and his mind mellows into the background. Venom loves when Eddie sleeps, and he does it for hours at a time. Sometimes even eight or nine. Nine whole hours, and Venom has its host’s warm body right there to explore.

Redredribbons: “Storms” (Venom/Eddie) • The Symbiote struggles to understand human habits and biorhythms. Especially Eddie's, when his own brain seems intent on sabotaging him.

Stereobone: “No Idea That You’re in Deep” (Venom/Eddie) ♡  • If the last eight months have shown Eddie anything, it's that foresight is not his strong suit.

Surveycorpsjean: - “Lovesick Baby” (Venom/Eddie) Eddie spent his whole life alone in his head. Now he’s not sure he could ever go back. Sometimes, you want things you shouldn't.

[kimaswork]

Could you pretty pleeeeeaaaassseee do a work of Thoma x Male!reader?? Or a Tighnari x Male!reader?

I love them both so choosing between them was really hard, buuuuut I had to go with my fennec fox baby. For the good luck on hopefully losing a 50/50 to him lol

"Dammit..." You mumbled under your breath as you picked through bushes to get berries. You were currently gathering ingredients for Gandharva Villes... medic? He was a the main forest troupe, leader, person, thingy, you didn't keep track of his titles very well. But you knew he was important and that he took care of the forest, the scouts, and most importantly, you.

Tighnari had recently started dating you, having asked you out nearly two or three months prior.

Hearing your quiet curse with his fox-like ears from the other side of the river, his head perked up. "You okay over there Lo?" He asked, his voice clearly concerned.

'Lo' was his nickname for you. You were his little lotus that bloomed and grew more beautiful everyday. You adored the name, it quickly became one of your favorites.

"Yea- Just these darn thorns, always pokin' me..." You responded, your voice growing more quiet near the end as your answer turned more into complaining.

Softly chuckling he walked through the shallow water, the ripples making the nearby golden bass swim away. "Here-" He said softly, his voice smooth. You could tell he was close by the way you could feel his warm breath on your neck, making a light blush creep up your cheeks. Turning you saw he was giving you his gloves. "Oh babe no, you need those-" You began before promptly getting cut off. "My hands will be fine Lo, I've gotten scratches before. But I want your hands to be okay, Archons knows how clumsy you can be." He says with a playful smirk as he pulls the gloves onto your hands for you, not giving you another chance to refute.

"And I don't want to have to treat my little lotus for a few scratches if I can help it." He mumbles as he pulls your hands up to his mouth and kisses your knuckles, his long ears sticking out and tickling your nose as he did so, making you laugh.

Once he had finished with his affections he released your hand and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. "There- all better." He states confidently.

A quick glance to your basket later and he has you by the hand, walking to another bush full of berries. "This one here is full of ripe ones!" He says as he kneels down and picks at the miniscule fruits with you, throwing them into the basket.

Time passed slowly as the two of you gather ingredients for the infirmary, but you were content, you were with your boyfriend, so you saw this as a date. Over the span of multiple hours the pair of you gathered berries, lotus', sweet flowers, mints, and many other plants. Each plant the two of you picked was a new conversation starter, 'Nari had so many facts about medicinal properties and plants to tell you and you just let him go on. Truth be told you had no clue what he was going on about, but his voice was so soothing to you, so you simply listened to his rambles.

After the sun began going down you returned to Gandharva Ville to be met with a warm welcome from Collei. "Master Tighnari!" She said with a smile. He smiles back at her and the two began chatting away which had a massive grin crossing your face.

You were so thankful for the traveler, thanks to them Irminsul was saved and Elizar is a disease of the past. You had never seen Collei so upbeat and happy before, you were estatic you could see her as such.

You went to Tighnaris hut and began making the both of you dinner to share, this had became your routine. Tonight you were feeling a but lazy however, so you made simple chicken mushroom skewers. As you were setting the table 'Nari came in and helped you finish up then sat down to eat with you.

Mundane as the day was, it was sweet. Being with your boyfriend made your heart soar and it only got better when he said. "It's late. You should stay the night."

Oh Archons. When you say your heart was soaring.... Clearly you said yes and before you knew it the two of you were curled up in his cot, all cuddled up and cozy. His fluffy tail was draped over your waist like an extra blanket and your arms were around his neck.

Peeking over him you saw you still wore his gloves. "Oh, one moment." You whispered in his ear as you sat up to peel off the gloves and set them on his nightstand before lying back down in his arms with a smile. "Better?" He asked. You responded with a nod. "Thanks for letting me use your gloves, though I'm sure I would've been fine with a few scratches. Even if I had to wait in line to get patched up, I'd live." You chuckled. With a playful roll of his eyes and a shake of his head he kissed your nose to grab your attention.

"Lo, you wouldn't wait in any line for me to patch you up and of course I'd give you my gloves." He says, his gentle green eyes gazing into your soul. "You are my priority. My main priority. My first and foremost." He states, honesty in his words.

You knew you loved this man, but now you were pretty sure you wanted to marry him on the spot. He tenderly kissed you before pulling you close and cuddling you to sleep for the night.

I think I might like to try to get into trying some headcannons of some of the characters, so gimme ideas of scenarios and characters that you'd like to see!

[small-oneshots]

BokuAka

Warnings -> Angst, Major Character Death

Authors Note -> BokuAka is my OTP, no one can top them. They are so adorable and I love them. They are also SOOO perfect for angst, I don't know why.

I looked around the table in the back corner of my hometown bar. Friends and family gathered around me in a bittersweet joy. A going-away party. A party that's supposed to be fun, but turns out depressing and miserable. But with my friends, nothing can ever be boring.

Insisting we have it at our bar, Kuroo gathered all of our high school friends, all of my coworkers, and all of my family, into one tiny section. Cheers and beers went round and round the small rectangular table, as well as through the bar, from strangers who over heard.

After about two hours, I left. Calling an Uber, with no destination in mind, I thought about all the times Kuroo and I walked out of this bar, absolutely wasted, trying to find our ways back home. I sometimes wish I could go back, but what would change? I'd still be where I am now.

The notification popped up on my phone, signaling that I had another customer. At the bar, my back seat door opened and a man sat down. His cheeks were a rosy red, his golden eyes were teary, and his hair was two-toned and messy. Despite all of that, he was one of the most handsome men I've seen in this tiny town.

"Where are you going sir?"

"Would it be okay if we just drove around? With the windows down? It's a nice night and I'm not ready to be alone just yet."

"That's fine with me."

Akaashi started pulling away and Bokuto rolled the windows down, eager to breathe in the night and forget his destiny.  Arms were seen outside the window as Bokuto became an airplane, flying on the adrenaline and sorrow.  To passerby's Bokuto was drunk and having fun, but Akaashi could see.  He saw the way his body tensed up ever so slightly every time they hit a bump, or the way his eyes always had a tear or two threatening to fall.

"Hey man, I know we don't know each other but, is there anything you want to say?"

Bokuto brought his arms back in and slowly smiled.  It wasn't a smile of joy, but a smile of pain.  The kind of smile one gives when they're trying to convince themselves they'll be okay.

"Have you ever thought about dying?  Or what life is like after you die? Cause I know I do.

"Unfortunately I can say that I have.  Why do you ask?  What's going on?  What's Up?"

"I was diagnosed with brain cancer last week.  They said it's too late to have chemo or even get it treated.  I'm-  Im dying and I'm okay with that."

Akaashi's eyes filled with tears.  His vision became blurry and it got to the point of him having to pull over.

"I was at a going away party with my friends at the bar.  I told them I'm moving away for a job opportunity.  I didn't have the courage to tell them the place was Heaven.

Truth is, I'm a little scared.  Not for myself, but for them.  I wasn't drinking, and I know they sensed something was wrong, but I hope they just thought I was sad about leaving.

That's why I asked you to drive around.  I'm better around people, even if they're strangers.  When I'm by myself I feel lonely and sad.  I don't like feeling like that."

Akaashi was stunned.  At the end of each ride, he asked people if there was something they needed to get off their chest, and he's heard some things.  But nothing- nothing compared to this.

"I'm sorry man.  I didn't mean to go so into detail, but I think this is the happiest I've been since my diagnosis.  The way the night feels on my lungs and skin is breathtaking and the town tonight has such a heavenly glow."

"I agree.  Although it's small, this town really does affect you in the most beautiful ways."

"I know we won't ever see each other after this. but thank you.  Thank you for listening and indulging with me.  It means a lot coming from a stranger, and I really hope it doesn't have to do with the fact that I have cancer.  Even though I'm dying, I'd much rather people be blunt with me, and not beat around the bush."

"You're welcome.  I will let you know, it's not the cancer.  You are a very likable person, and I'll tell you, that you are a very pretty crier.  Your eyes shine like diamonds when you cry, and I find it mesmerizing."

"'Thank you- "

"Keiji.  Akaashi Keiji."

"Kotarou.  Bokuto Kotarou.  Thank you Keiji."

"You're welcome Kotarou.  I'll take you home now.  Just know your not alone.  Not ever."

Keiji sat, dressed in all black, underneath an umbrella, and cried.  He hasn't known Kotarou at all, but that one might in his car, left such an impact, and Keiji couldn't believe a man like him was gone.  Not two months after they're fateful encounter, Keiji read on the paper that the beloved volleyball player passed away.  They never stated the reason, probably to protect the public from such a sorrowful thing, but Keiji knew.  Keiji remembered how miserable Kotarou felt in his back seat.  He remembered how much it hurt to hear Kotarou's voice crack and see his body tense.  He remembered, despite his horrible odds, how Kotarou looked genuinely happy with his arms out the winter smelling the city. 

It was a cruel fate.  A horrible way to go, and with the way it hurt him, he can't imagine how the family felt. 

"I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss.  I hadn't known Bokuto at all, but I was his Uber driver the night of his "going-away party.  I wanted you guys to know, that he was okay with dying.  He said it himself.  and I want you guys to know, he enjoyed himself that night.  And I want you guys to remember that.  Please, for him."

[mychlapci]

hi sunstreaker anon (the one who sent you the smash or pass) i have not stopped thinking about his rancid ass since i first stumbled across his wiki page so you get to bare witness to my insanity!

so like.... sunstreaker would be a prissy bitch in bed. i think we can all agree that his ass would constantly be complaining about something

"oh don't touch me there, you'll scratch my finish" or "if you go any harder it'll be difficult to buff out the paint transfers" he would do literally anything other than admit he's a kinky motherfucker who enjoys being roughed up.

this leads to most bots assuming that he doesn't want to get fragged, bc his general personality and reputation as a brutal frontliner combined means that when he says "no" (even if he doesn't really mean it and just wants to play hard to get), he really does mean "no" and then everyone leaves him alone.

sooooo here's my idea. fucking glory hole. for uh.... morale purposes.... it's anonymous and those who sign up remain unknown to the rest of the army and by this point sunstreaker has gotten real desperate, like leaking behind his panels whenever someone on the battlefield manages to rough him up kinds of desperate. and well... he'd let whatever con got a hold of him in a fight get a lick at his valve but he's conveniently never alone and someone is always there to save him. so he's really fucking pissy from lack of getting spike

so he signs up for the glory hole, bc what the fuck else is he supposed to do besides suffer

and it goes soooo well. sunstreaker spends the whole night getting his valve pounded into oblivion, without anyone worrying about pissing him off from going at it too hard. he ends the solar cycle with transfluid dripping out of him and a processor that's been so thoroughly fucked that he needs to take a good hour or so to properly get back into his own mind.

bonus points if he's got piercings (you know he does), that line his valve and conduct charger better. maybe even a stud pierced right through his anterior node with a chain attached to his valve lips so that whenever someone goes really hard, it makes him overload from sheer sensation alone.

in the following solar cycles, everyone notices how nice he's been as of late and start treating him a little better, maybe someone starts to catch onto his games and then they fuck nasty in a supply closet or something extra bonus points if the bot also used the glory hole and recognises the wonderfully plush mesh lining and the pretty golden gems pierced through the valve lips

anon, you are slowly making me positively insane about Sunstreaker.

Poor Sunstreaker, cursed with a kink that goes against everything he stands for. No one even offers to fuck him anymore, they either dislike him too much or are scared of him or someone told them what an absolute bitch he is in bed and they don't wanna deal with that. And all his no's are taken as hard no's, even if they're not, even if he's just trying to play a game. Sunstreaker is so horny all the time, he hasn't taken a real spike in ages, no one's even gotten to compliment the piercings he had done, and he's been getting increasingly desperate, so desperate that he'd let himself be pinned down by whatever non-descript decepticon he can find and pop open his panels open for them...

Sunstreaker resorting to a glory hole, pressing his pretty pussy against the hole in the wall of the stall and biting his lip as a thick spike is shoved into him without warning. They don't know who he is and he doesn't know who they are, so it's perfect. Sunstreaker can finally get fucked without restraint. His beautiful pieced valve gets split open on dozens of spikes, and soon enough the side of the wall is stained with his lubricant and loads upon loads of transfluid. The bots on the other side tug at his piercings and play with his pussy, they tease when they hear his engine revv from the other side of the wall...

I can't shake off the image of pretty, pristine Sunstreaker splayed over a filthy public toilet, his sore valve ruined and twitching as thick transfluid leaks out of him. He's overloaded so many times his legs refuse to work, he has to sit there and shake through the aftershocks, staring up at the cieling with a blissed out look on his face.

Mhmm, people recognizing Sunstreaker's pussy after that. They don't say anything but he knows they know when they start fucking him harder, treating him like a little whore <3

[no-one-of-consequence]

Trail Marker: Ode to a broken friendship

Not everyone you love will stay. I first internalized this about 8 months ago and it was one of the first steps I took toward really healing from a broken friendship that had haunted me for 9 years.

I first met (T) during the best summer of my life, 2011. He was adjacent to the very close-knit group of friends we had created, but he was always welcome in our ranks. (T) had this infectious personality, and although he would never admit to it, people gravitated toward him easily. (T) had a natural talent for making you feel like you were the most important person in the world. He was funny, insightful, and a natural at showing empathy. He was a psychology major, and very good at helping people process their feelings and problems. I always found it easy to be open and honest with (T).

Our friendship really blossomed during the following winter. My wife and I decided to remain in WI and continue working at the summer camp we had been living at for their winter retreat season. During the summer months, the camp has hundreds of employees and everyone kind of knows each other. In the winter, the staff is much more limited, instead of hundreds there were maybe 30 people. This camp was pretty isolated from the rest of the world, so everyone living together created some much deeper bonds.

(T) and I became very close through our mutual love-language, quality time. We could talk for hours about nothing, and everything. By the end of this first winter (T) and I knew literally everything there was to know about each other. He was even brave enough to confide in me that he was gay. In the present day this may seem like a trivial thing, but the camp we were living at did not have a great track record of treating LGBTQ individuals well, so this was a huge secret. We had a mutual love of games. And there were so many nights where we stayed up very late playing Settlers of Catan. (I plan to write a love letter to that game someday).

Toward the end of the following summer it was time for us to go our separate ways. The camp we were living at had a pretty strict policy that they were “a sending place”. Meaning people who were not on the full-time staff needed to leave after an arbitrary amount of time. For (T), his time was up. (T) was an incredibly skilled potter, and a total master of ceramic creations. To this day I have never met a more skilled artist. Some of the pieces he created for me are still among my most prized and cherished possessions. Including a full dinner plate set themed after Settlers of Catan, and 12 pirate themed drinking cups each with their own Jolly Roger themed after real pirates from the golden age of piracy. (T) was leaving WI to move to Montana to be an understudy in some major ceramics studio. Even though he left, we stayed in touch often over the phone and skype. And when we would talk, it was as if he was right there with me again.

A year passed, and (T) had moved to PA to participate in another apprenticeship. When we would meet on skype he confided in me that he was miserable in PA, and that outside of the people working at the studio he had no real friends or connections. I tried to convince (T) to move back to WI and try and make a life for himself here. I said it would be better to be surrounded by people who love you, than to do what you love but be miserable. (T) decided to take a chance and follow my advice, he moved back to WI and moved in with us while we all searched for a larger living space that could accommodate all of us. Deciding to live together would end up being the first step toward the breaking of this friendship, but I did not know it at the time.

We found a decently sized living space, and all moved in together. After the first couple of months tensions began. And daily annoyances would creep their way in as we both realized that we were hard people to live with. My wife was also pregnant with our first daughter at this time, and life would soon be changing dramatically. As the due date approached, tensions were at an all time high and (T) and I had a massive fight. It was only verbal in nature, but we both said things that cut each other to the very core. The friendship was damaged by this irreparably. Although we both said sorry, and it seemed like things were getting better, they weren’t. I felt so guilty about this. So much so that I thought it might be best if my wife and I moved back to our beloved little apartment and (T) went to stay with his other finds who lived in town. They had offered this to him, but he was reluctant to do so. I am under the impression that he still wanted to make living together work.

However, I did not see it this way. In my mind, there was only one option, and that was to live separately. I tried to find the right time to break this news to (T), but that moment never came. When I did eventually tell him, he took the suggestion very hard, and very personally. We had another fight, and this time it was apparent that I had wounded him. I specifically remember him saying “You said to move here and be surrounded by people who love me, and now you are throwing me away like trash. Is that so easy for you?” I had never seen him in so much mental and emotional pain before.

(T) became very distant despite my constant efforts to repair this situation. But no matter what I did, it wasn’t enough. The damage had been done. The day after my first daughter was born (T) came to visit us in the hospital. When I handed him our daughter I could feel his heart sink. He seemed happy to see her but I think he knew that this was also going to be the end of our friendship. Too many things were going to be different now, and our new little family was going to need space to grow on its own. I will never forget the pained look on his face as he sat in our hospital room.

The very next day (T) moved out. I went to see him while he was packing and he wouldn’t even speak to me. I sat on the floor in his room as he packed his things in silence and then left. I stayed in his empty room most of the night thinking about what I had done, and how I had hurt him. There was truly nothing I could do. Any future attempts I would make at contacting him would always be met with silence. No returned texts, calls or emails. The gravity of this broken friendship scarred me deeply for many years, and the passage of time never made it easier. I would have a hard time making meaningful friendships for many years after this, with rare exceptions. I would hold people who I really wanted to be close with at arm’s length out of fear of being hurt again.

9 years passed, and I was still not even remotely healed. Somewhere between 2013-2015 I decided to leave social media behind for a myriad of reasons. Over all this was a good life choice, but it did mean I had no way of checking in on friends. I was also still so heartbroken by the loss of (T)’s friendship that I really didn’t care, because I was afraid that I might hurt someone again. In the summer of 2023 I decided to simply google (T) and see if anything came up. To no surprise, he was doing well and seemed to be producing his pottery and ceramics professionally now. I was brave and sent him a DM on IG, asking for the opportunity to apologize. Again, I did not receive a response and I felt the crushing weight of my heartbreak return.

I tried to let it go, but I couldn’t. The only thing in the world I wanted was for him to know I was sorry. It was my all-consuming thought, and for months I agonized over how I would be able to tell him. In December he posted that he was going to be selling his pottery at a Christmas event. I was not brave enough to attend the event myself. I approached my brother (D) for help, and asked him to attend the event and deliver my apology letter to (T). Knowing that this had been tearing me apart for almost a decade, he accepted.

When (D) returned he told me that (T) was warm and receptive to receiving the letter but that he was going to read it later. (D) said that he showed genuine interest in knowing how we were doing, and asked about our kids and wanted to know if we were happy. I thanked (D) for his role in what I had hoped would be the first step toward reconnecting with (T). In the letter, I had given (T) all of my contact info including my IG which was how I had found him.  I eagerly waited for a response of any kind. In the following week (T) blocked me in IG.

I shouldn’t have been surprised. But it was still a shock. In that letter I had laid bare by heart and apologized for everything I could think of. Maybe too much time had passed. Maybe the feelings were too complicated. Maybe, it was too much to ask for a response. I don’t know. But for the first time in 9 years I felt something new, not sorrow, not heartbreak, but relief. Even though it was yet another rejection, I had still accomplished my true goal of letting him know I was sorry. And no amount of therapy, or reassurance from people I care about was ever as helpful as simply being blocked. To finally know that that door is truly closed was more liberating than any mantra I could tell myself, or any self-help literature I have ever read. Closure, true closure, was more than I could have ever hoped for. Sure, it would have been nice to hear something as simple as “Thank you for saying sorry, but I’m not in a place to be your friend again”. But as crazy as it might seem I actually prefer it this way.

I have been on a major healing journey ever since, and NOW things are getting better. NOW, time is beginning to heal old wounds, and NOW I am finally starting to open up to people again without fear of losing them. There are so many people in my life who I would consider to be good friends, but during the past 9-year period I never fully let them in or really ever discussed my real feelings with them. In an attempt to promote further healing, and to prevent stagnation I have been working tirelessly on reconnecting with old friends. I don’t want to let good friendships slip away anymore. This has been a major focus for me this late summer, and early fall and I hopeful that things will continue to go well. I am not as practiced at reaching out to people as I once was, but I am making an effort!

I want to end with a quote that has stuck with me this year as I have slowly begun to heal. There is no name attached to it, and I don’t remember the source. But it has really helped me through this time. And I hope some day it helps others as well.

“Healing has taught me that honesty won't ruin real connections. Expressing your feelings won’t cost you anything valuable. Setting boundaries won’t drive away the right people. And authenticity won’t jeopardize genuine relationships. Remember this the next time you feel down when someone withdraws from you. Respect yourself, share your feelings, set boundaries, and hold yourself accountable for your feelings.  Just because someone was a part of your story, does not mean that they have to be part of your destiny.” Sincerely, ~ (Z)

[bluebellhairpin]

Not Jealous

Bruce Wayne X Batmom!Reader

A/N: So I worked on this instead of like, five other things that people want but hey - gal’s gotta have her vices. - Nemo

Summary: Even after years of fancy gatherings, Bruce wants nothing more than to give in to his introvert nature and run away from them. You however, have taught him that after sticking it out, they might not be so bad. 

Warnings: Flirting. Bruce get’s jealous but not really ‘cause Batman doesn’t get jealous. Reader has she/her pronouns and is referred to as uh ‘wife’ multiple times. 

Listening to: ‘Can’t Take My Eye’s Off You’ by Frankie Valli - ‘Pardon the way that I stare, there's nothin' else to compare... You're just too good to be true.’ 

Series Masterlist

Masterlist  

Gala’s were something that Bruce never really liked. 

As Bruce Wayne - the billionaire, playboy, golden child, Prince of Gotham - he couldn’t get to enough of them. 

As Batman - the brooding, ‘I work alone but not really’, Protector of Gotham - he avoided them at all costs. 

But as himself - the friend, father, husband, Bruce - his thoughts on such events could only be described as apathetic. 

Over the years he grew a very nice façade to hide how he truly felt. After the entrance of his wife, and then each child that followed, it became easier to fake, and he did have to admit they became a little more enjoyable with proper company anyway. 

Of course, the first time he saw she who would be his wife at one of these events, she was hanging off the arm of some blond, tanned, rich member of high society. From his knowledge and meetings with her on the streets she wasn’t exactly supposed to be enjoying it as much as she looked like she was. 

Turns out she was one great faker too. 

Over the course of the past seventeen-ish years, Bruce got to know the various ways you dealt with these gala’s. 

While he was tempted with the recluse lifestyle everyday, you managed to get him out of the house when it was needed. Even if it was a big house, he still needed to get out of it sometimes. 

With the outings you used to force him on, he was able to learn a thing or two from you. You weren’t born into wealth like he was, and you never had it until you married him, but you took to it like a fish to water. Well, the avoiding attention part anyway. In fact, when it came to going to gala’s with you, he was surprised at how little attention you drew when you didn’t want it. 

The first time you went as a couple, and then again as a married couple, were the worst as far as being left alone went, and he did expect it. Newspapers craved that sort of thing. 

After that, when it was just him and you, the most you were asked of was the journey between the car and the front door thanks to the press and media - once inside you could sulk away to a corner or table, get up for a dance or two, loiter at the bar and then go home without anymore than a half dozen people approaching. Those were very good nights for Bruce, mainly because on those nights he’d rather be anywhere else. 

As if he didn’t feel that way about them anyway. 

But lately your trick of not gaining attention at the gala’s wasn’t working anymore. It wasn’t that people were noticing him again, no it was because they were noticing you. 

Namely someone kept noticing you. 

“You both have never looked more alike.” 

Tim slid into a set opposite Bruce and Damian. Bruce had a crystal tumbler filled with ginger ale pressed to his lips, unmoving as his eyes locked onto where you stood across the room. Damian was in the exact same position, whether knowingly or not, and was sending a glare towards the man who was looking far too happy about talking to you. 

“We are kind of literally related, Tim.” Bruce mumbled, sipping his drink before setting it down and leaning back in his seat.

“He’s too close.” Damian whispered.

“I know.” 

“She could get uncomfortable soon.”

“I know.”

“If it bothers you so much then either of you could go over there and whisk her away.” Tim said, shaking his head a little. “Bruce could pull out his charisma, or the gremlin could pretend to ask for a dance with his mother all cute and mother-son-like.”

Damian switched his glare over to Tim.

“Why don’t you go and fix it since you’re so smart?”

“‘Cause it’s not bothering me as much as it is you.” Tim laughed. Bruce looked between his two sons, then up to where you and the man were talking. “She can handle herself. Plus he’s way below her league anyway, if she doesn’t know that then something’s wrong.” 

“You don’t think Ummi’s being mind controlled right now, do you?” Damian asked, sitting straighter and squinting a little. “We should go home and -”

Bruce stood, patting Damian’s shoulder as he pushed his chair back in, and then strode over to your side. 

As usual, you noticed his approach with barely having to look, and reached out an arm as he pressed his side to yours. His arm wound it’s way around your waist, and he offered his free hand to the man whose conversation he probably just ruined. 

“Nice to meet you, I’m Bruce Wayne.” he said, lips tight in one of the best and believable fake smiles he’s put on in his entire life. 

“Henry Syrus.” The man said, stepping to match Bruce’s fake pleasantries with his own, “I was just having the most wonderful conversation with your darling wife about the art pieces here. 

“Next time you should compare novelty keychains.” Bruce’s voice was light, but you could tell there was a little something underneath. “I’m afraid I’ll have to take her away for a dance before the night dies down too much.” 

So without another word, Bruce swept you away and onto the dancefloor with the hoard of other swaying couples. 

“You need to practice that.” 

“Practice what?” he asked, looking down at you as his fingers intertwined with yours. 

“The ‘I’m taking my wife away from someone who makes me feel like they’re making her feel weird’ thing you just pulled.” you said, a small smile twitching onto your features from your lips up to your eyes - your first genuine smile of the night - and Bruce was proud to think it was because of him. 

“I did that?” he mused, feigning thought for a moment, “I don’t think I did.” 

“Well you weren’t jealous. Everyone - including you! - says Bruce Wayne does not get jealous.” Bruce spun you away, and then back closer to him again. Closer than before. 

“I don’t need to get jealous, I know you can’t resist me.” he mumbled against your ear, then pressed a kiss to your cheekbone before leaning back some again. “That’s why you keep sticking around.”

“I thought I stuck around because you’re filthy rich and never at home, so that I have the place to do as I please.” 

“Okay, okay,” he said, chuckling, “Now you’re really teasing me.” 

“I’m just getting started.” you said, a sly glint in your eye that made his arm around you tighten. 

“Oh? Dare I ask what else you have in store?” he replied, preparing to meet whatever you came up with. You hummed at him, surveying the room and fellow dancers before looking back up at him again.

“I’m gonna take you home, pull you into our bedroom, and take you out of this monkey suit -”

“- it’s a tux, not a suit -”

“- I’m going to take you out of this tuxedo,” you corrected, tugging on his tie as he smiled down at you, “And then we’re gonna sleep for twelve. Whole. Hours.” He groaned. 

“You love me so much. You know exactly what to say. You treat me so well.” 

“I know.” you said, smiling up at him. He couldn’t help but press his lips to yours in something a little longer than a peck, and you hummed again. “Now you’re making Henry jealous with all the faces you’re making.” 

“How can you tell, you can’t see him?” he asked. Looking over, he was able to see that, yes, the man you were with before wasn’t looking incredibly happy at the moment. 

“I’m a mother of at least five children, Bruce. And I have to deal with you. I can tell when someone’s glaring at my back.” 

“I do glare a lot.” He grimaced. “I should’ve known better.” 

“Underestimate me again and you’ll pay for it.”

“And if I do then you can name your price, my dear.”

[fizzycherrycola]

UK Bros Weekend WIP

I’m still working on my PrUK story, I swear, but this came to me in a dream and I had to write it down. Words in (brackets) are just basic notes of what I want to happen. Please keep in mind, this is a WIP, nothing here is finished. Warnings for England being a bit of a twat.

Windsor, UK; 2 February 1901

(The air is cold and damp. Nipping. Ice clings to brick.)

Wales shakes his arms, making the frost fall from his greatcoat, impervious to the aura of death and solemnity that, like the shrouds of the snivelling women who today line cobblestone streets, does drape over Windsor’s train station.  

Slipping his hand into one of many pockets, his fingers wiggle about, then clasp around paper wrap. He smiles. Pulling the small bundle out, he tears open the package without so much as glancing at the label.

Scotland raises one of his great, shaggy brows. “A biscuit?” he asks. “Where’d you get that?”

“From a bakery in London,” Wales says, gazing at the confection’s fancy crucifix design. “Shop windows were piled with them; you should’ve seen it. Loads of different flavours, too.”

With a crunch, he bites into it, rolling his tongue along the golden-brown edge to avoid spilling crumbs on his ceremonial outfit. It’s a lovely flavour, pungent ginger with a dash of cinnamon, causing his toes to curl. The treat is almost enough to help him forget today’s awful weather.

(Ireland action.) “Is that a mourning biscuit?” (Describe him. Matching greatcoat and helmet. Stubborn lock of red hair poking out the front. The strap looks too tight.)

“Mmm!” (Mouthful of biscuit.) “It is. Would you like one? I’ve got more.” (Patting his pocket. He has several stashed in preparation for the long day.)

Ireland snorts. “I'm not sin-eating for a Famine Queen.”

Wales deflates. “That’s not fair. It’s only sin-eating if you eat it over her open coffin.”

“No, it’s.... Isn’t it if she’s within spitting distance?”

“But she’s not even that,” Scotland mumbles, nodding at Queen Victoria’s casket.  

(Describe it, coming off the train. Humans treating it with reverence. Readying it for the final procession to Windsor castle.)

Ireland hums. “Not spitting distance for you, maybe, but if that wind picks up again, I'd probably be able-”

“Shh!!” England hisses. (England action. He’s in front of them in the procession, just behind the carriage.) “For God’s sakes, will you lot be quiet?”

(The trio grumbles, shuffling in place. Cobblestones. Wales’ feet hurt. Dress boots.)

“(Fuck off)” Ireland moans. “We’ve been on our feet all day in the damn cold.”

(England action.) “All day?! It’s only been a few hours!” (England squints at Wales.) “...Are you eating?”

As if it would help, Wales hides the biscuit behind his back.

He shrugs. “Well, I haven’t had luncheon and it’s already noon. Figured we were allowed a bite to eat in-between processions. Besides, Her Late Majesty’s not attached to the carriage yet.”

(Ireland is amused.) “Aye, that’s military code. Procession can’t begin until the deceased is on the carriage.”

“And I’m starving.”

“You wouldn’t want him collapsing on route to the chapel.”

“Yes, and... well, I don’t think I’d collapse, but-”

“It’d embarrass the whole empire,” Ireland continues. (Sarcasm. More taunting. “You really need to be meticulous about this sort of thing.”)

England pinches the bridge of his nose and curses under his breath.  

(Describe him. Fringe from helmet nearly hiding his face. Wales feels bad, for a moment. Recall the effort England put into this thing. Humans were frantic. Military funeral for a royal, never done before.)  

(England action.) “Could all of you at least try to show some bloody respect? Christ, look at Australia – even he’s being civil. We’re almost at the chapel, and after the ceremony, you can bugger off and do whatever you’d like. But until then, keep quiet!”  

(He turns away with a huff.)

(Wales fiddles the last bite of biscuit.) “...Ireland?” he whispers.

(Ireland doesn’t answer immediately.) “What?”

“I meant what I said about the biscuits. I’m not helping the Queen get to heaven; I was just hungry.”

(Ireland studies him for a moment before sighing.) “It’s fine.” (He looks tired.) “What flavours have you got?”

“Oh.” (Wales action.) “I think I’ve got ginger, shortbread, buttermilk, almond....”

“Buttermilk.”

(Wales gives it to him. He opens it. It’s a skull design. Ireland gives a wry smile. He reads aloud the poem slip.)

“Thee we adore, eternal Name, And humbly own to thee, How feeble is our mortal frame! What dying worms we be.

Our wasting lives grow shorter still As days and months increase; And every beating pulse we tell, Leaves but the number to be leased.

The year rolls round and steals away, The breath that first it gave; Whate’er we do, whate’er we be, We’re travelling to the grave.”

(Wales action, finishing his own cookie.) “Oh, that’s an omen.”

(Scotland action.) “It’s not an omen. They print that poetry shite on half the wrappers; it doesn’t mean a thing.”

“He’s right,” (Ireland action.) “It’s just a reminder, warning humans that it all ends eventually.” (Ireland pops it in his mouth. Chews and swallows.)

(Psst! Australia catches their attention, behind them, where a few of the colonies stand together. He asks for a cookie. Wales tries to pass him one without moving from his place in the unmoving procession. Australia reaches, then his eyes go wide and he immediately snaps back to position, arms at his sides. Wales turns and sees England glaring at Australia. Then he turns back to the front.)

(Awkward quiet. Describe the scene. What led them there, to Windsor, the procession in London. The sobbing people that lined the streets. Most just gawking. And the pomp of the whole thing. The public display, the train to Windsor, the white horses, the military parade, the trumpets, the gun carriage. You’d think a queen had never died before. Most funerals of monarchs were performed quietly, but not this one. This is a departure from the norm.)  

(Wales doesn’t mind too much. It’s like a big, macabre celebration of death. The occult and superstition are as close as he can get to the old days. When magic beautifully intertwined with history and science. But for the sake of his brothers... Perhaps a quiet and speedy funeral would have been better.)

(To be continued...)

Speech patterns might change and some paragraphs might move around, but that’s about the first half of the story. Hoping to finish it before Halloween.

EDIT: THIS STORY HAS BEEN FINISHED!! Please read the full version HERE!

[ninjakitty2988]

Chapter two. You are my sunshine.

You are slowly plodding along with your leg injury wincing in pain. You take a break in the late morning and you have been walking for 4 hours. You perch yourself on a large rock, you spot a small spring, you walk towards it and take a small sip "oh that's good it's drinking water."

Gathering your hands together you cup the spring water. It's cool, crisp and refreshing. Then you proceed to do the same to use the water to clean your face off. You take a moment to take a look at your reflection on your appearance in the water and the minor scratches on your face have almost disappeared.

Your stomach grows hungrily and you have one onigiri left over. It had salmon inside the onigiri with a hint of soy sauce and salt "suppose I better eat this. I will get something back at the butterfly mansion. Aoi makes great food".

You open your mouth and take a bite, sharing it with your kasugai crow. He picks up the rice off your hands and says "caw caw thankyou y/n" you smile sweetly and pet your kasugai crow on the head gently. your kasugai crow screeches "caw caw we should get moving". You stand up from the large rock you were perched on "yeah I hear you let's get back"

You proceed to walk towards demon slayer HQ "I should get there in the middle of the afternoon". You see your kasugai crow soaring through the clear blue skies and carry on walking ahead through a path through the rice fields.

An old lady stops to pass as you walk by and she speaks up "my dear are you ok that looks like a nasty wound on your thigh".

You answer back "oh yeah I am ok it's been treated I am on my way back home that's all"

She has a warm smile "well I do wish you well".

You nod and smile kindly "take care of yourself" you bow politely and walk on ahead. Every step you take your leg burns with pain "Aoi isn't going to be happy with me"! You scrunch your face thinking about how you will get scolded by Aoi! "oh well never mind it's too late for that I have to go forward".

The kasugai crow screeches "caw caw I can see the demon slayer HQ you will be there in an hour". You look at the ground and then to the sky it looks like it's late in the afternoon. You walk towards your goal getting back to demon slayer HQ.

A chill in the wind blows your hair and your pleated skirt and you look down at your uniform you only just noticed it has a large rip at the side of your injured thigh and you shrug your shoulders trying to cover it with your haroi ."I need a new uniform. Hopefully I get trousers this time. This skirt isn't what I wanted to wear, it shows off a little too much legs!"

You can see the HQ, your kasugai crow swoops down and perches on your shoulders. You sigh in relief. You grab the handle on the gate it creeks! You close the gate and walk gingerly in the gardens. You see nine of the hashria outside of the gardens and your face is shocked to see them all in one place. You ponder to yourself "there must be an important meeting for all nine of the hashria to be at HQ all at once".

Since Uzui Tengan is the sound pillar his hearing is sensitive to the slightest bit of noise he hears you coming through the gate. He turns around walk's fast towards you and grins with his hand under his chin, he bends down towards your face "oh what do we have here it's a pretty little demon slayer".

You look up at him nervously "leave her be Tengan" a water pillar with black hair and a stoic facial expression his name was Giyu Tomioka. Uzui Tengan backs off a little bit. You look around the gardens and you see a woman with pink and green hair styled in three plaits "she's adorable". The love pillar Mitsuri Kanroji smiles blissfully, blushing so lightly.

The flame pillar Kyojuro Rengoku with golden flame like eyes and blonde hair and red tips in the end of his hair he turns around to see what the fuss was about and he sees you his eyes are wide and he's shocked "y/n is it really you it's been so very long"!!

You look at him shocked you recognize his fiery hair from a mile away "Kyojuro it's you I can hardly believe my eyes I haven't seen you since you left for final selection" He comes running towards you smiling. All the other Hashira stand around looking confused.

[gingersnaaps]

too much of a good thing

he's so sweet, so kind, so dumb - is bokuto really capable of anything besides the best intentions?

wc: ~2.7k

tags/tw's(PLEASE READ): explicit n*fw, dubcon sex to noncon creampie, manipulation, lovebombing and then neglect, overstimulation, cunnilingus, fingering, penetration, a lil angst, timeskip!bokuto, fem!reader with inner genitals

i don’t want minors interacting with my content

Being subtle was never really Bokuto’s thing, not even in the beginning.

In some ways, you suppose that you’re lucky - that you’re better off than your friends who you would always hear complaining, muttering about boys who didn't like to commit, didn’t like labels, who didn’t like texting first or buying gifts or putting in any effort at all.

Barely a week into your relationship, you come home from work with your head dizzy and feet aching from exhaustion, and discover a dozen bouquets of roses on your doorstep. Crimson petals are littered everywhere, strewn against the grey concrete of the steps, and although you feel your neck and face heating up with embarrassment at the grand gesture, you can’t suppress the smile that tugs at the corner of your lips.

He really was so sweet. Who cares if he wasn’t exactly shy about expressing it?

None of the other guys you’ve dated before had sent you good morning texts quite like his, filled with exclamation points and emojis, and none of them had tried nearly as hard as Bokuto does with his breathy, eager i love you’s, his frequent hugs whenever he gets the chance to see you, or even his phone calls that come twice, three times, even four times in the middle of the day.

But the more days that pass by, the more intense it gets.

He picks you up after work all the time, cupping your face in his hands, eyes gleaming almost unnaturally bright. “I love you,” he’ll whisper. “You’re so wonderful, baby. You’re perfect. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.”

You can’t help but think that these are the sort of words that come months into a relationship, if not years, but… there’s nothing really wrong with what he’s doing, is there? There’s no reason you should be uneasy, no indication of even the slightest hint of trouble on his part.

You’re probably just paranoid.

Bokuto doesn’t stop at words, though - he earns a good sum of money from his job playing professional volleyball, and he’s never hesitant to use it on you. A week after he leaves you the roses, he asks you out on a date to a restaurant you know is ridiculously expensive, and the uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach grows as you scroll through pictures of the establishment on Google Images.

“I don’t think I can afford it, Bo,” you tell him, voice hesitant and crackly over the phone. “If we go, I won’t be able to pay my share.”

“So?”

It’s just a word, but the implication isn’t lost on you. And if he’s fine with paying for you, if he’s okay with the hundreds of dollars you’ll be owing him, well - there’s no good reason to turn him down, right?

During the date, you talk with him as you spoon bites of delicate food into your mouth. The restaurant is too lavish, the plush velvet carpeting and crystal chandeliers almost a parody of luxury. You’re pretty sure the utensils are half the price of your rent.

He leans over in the middle of the meal, expression suddenly serious. “You’re enjoying this, right?” he asks.

“I am. I’m kinda lucky, aren’t I? Being spoiled like this.”

“Yeah,” he replies, his grin so bright it could rival the sun. “You really are.”

And suddenly - just for a moment - you catch a glimpse of something slightly off about his whole expression, as if it was a mask waiting to be ripped off to reveal something much, much different underneath, but the fleeting moment is gone so quickly you convince yourself that it’s just your eyes playing tricks on you.

Bokuto has been nothing if not perfect, after all. If you’re uneasy, it’s probably just because you aren’t used to being treated like this, aren’t used to someone that lavishes you with constant gifts and praise and displays of affection like he does. On the way back in the taxi, he whispers everything he loves about you softly in your ear, his arm snaking around your waist as his thumb rubs tender circles into your skin. His body is pressed so close to yours, his breath gently tickling your ear, warmth radiating out from his firm, muscled body.

He’s so good to you.

-

It doesn’t last forever.

Bokuto’s affection dries up slowly, but his presence has been such a constant in your life that it’s impossible for you not to notice.

Some mornings, you find yourself waking up to a hollow feeling in your chest as you check your message notifications and find nothing - no late night rants, no funny pictures, no enthusiastic, joyful good morning texts. During the day, the silence now stretches on for hours too long, uncomfortably empty and devoid of the persistent calls that you used to get every single hour.

When he does see you, he’s remarkably reserved - eyes always downcast, fingers fidgeting incessantly, clearly disinterested in what you’re doing, what you’re saying - in fact, disinterested in all of you.

Maybe he’s just busy with volleyball, you rationalize, but your stomach churns with anxiety and deep down, you know that something’s changed.

You try and ignore the dull ache inside of you that seems to follow you around wherever you go, a little voice inside your head constantly reminding you of what Bokuto used to do. Two months ago, he would’ve picked you up. He would’ve sent you flowers today. He would’ve taken you out to eat.

It builds up slowly and steadily, a crescendo of pain that grows in volume the longer he’s gone, like a tidal wave of confusion and hurt that swirls around inside you - until one day, you’re sitting by yourself in the car, sobbing quietly in the cramped darkness.

At least he doesn’t turn you away when you show up on his doorstep.

Your eyes are rimmed with red, streaks of eye makeup running down your face as a frown twists at his features. “Please, Bo,” you whisper. “Let me make it up to you.”

And you’re not exactly sure what you did, but you want to fix it, want him back in your life, want to wake up to his smiles and his laughter and his incessant, boundless energy, and you know you’re willing to do anything to get that back.

“Really?” he asks, eyes glimmering faintly with hope.

You nod almost imperceptibly, about to reply yes, yes, want you back so bad, when he grabs your waist with his hands and pulls you in for a kiss so passionate it borders on harsh. It’s a whirlwind of teeth and tongue, a mix of sucking and licking and biting that leaves you gasping for breath, your red lips swollen and slick with spit.

He pulls you inside, his hands roaming all over your body, groping and squeezing at your supple flesh, goosebumps running down your spine as he brings a hand up to brush against your nipple. For the first time in weeks, you see excitement on his face, and his voice trembles as he leans close in. “Let me take care of you,” he says. “Wanna make you feel good.”

And even though there’s apprehension crawling under your skin at his sudden mood swing, you’re so, so glad this version of Bokuto is back that you brush off that hesitation, the mixture of happiness and anticipation overwhelming every single thought in your mind.

As his fingertips graze the soft skin of your torso, his hands - so much larger than yours - maneuver your body around with such ease and grace that you barely notice when you end up on his couch, legs spread wide open as he looks up from between your thighs hungrily. “I - fuck, I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he says, out of breath, eyes running over the swollen outline of your cunt.

You whimper softly as his nose brushes up against your clit, his piercing, golden eyes still gazing intently up at you.

He doesn’t waste any of his time teasing you, his flat of his tongue sliding up along your slit with the perfect amount of pressure to leave you squirming. It’s almost as if he knows exactly where to lick and suck, eagerly pressing his tongue up against your clit in insistent circles, lapping at your dripping pussy until your juices are running down his chin. He’s so eager in between your legs, and everytime he finds a spot that makes your legs tremble needily, he gives it so much attention that you already start to feel that wave of pleasure building in your core.

“Don’t stop,” you pant, your hands sliding into his hair as your hips thrust upwards. “Please.”

Bokuto doesn’t need you to tell him that. Shouldn’t have wasted your breath, he thinks idly, diving in and eating you out with renewed vigor.

When his tongue glides around your spasming cunt and dips in briefly, you can’t stop the moan that tumbles from your lips. His tongue is so stupidly long and flexible, sliding inside and licking at your sensitive walls, curling up and brushing against your g-spot until you start to shudder and tremble under him.

You cum embarrassingly quick, your hips jerking and stuttering wildly as he finishes you off. He fucks you through your orgasm, sucking gently at your clit until the border between pain and pleasure starts to blur and you’re moaning so loudly he thinks the neighbors will have complaints for him the next morning.

“Feel good, baby?” he asks, voice sending vibrations through your pussy.

“Yeah,” you mumble.

“How about another?”

Your eyes widen. “W-what?”

“I think you can handle it, right?” a huge grin splits his face as he spreads your pussy apart with two fingers, looking at your swollen, spent cunt. He barely gives your chance to respond before he trails his fingers against your lips, fingers teasing in and out of your slick entrance.

This time, Bokuto uses his hands to stretch you out, inserting his digits one by one until three of his thick, long fingers are nestled inside of your pussy. He thrusts them languidly in and out, his fingertips caressing your nerves until you’re tense and wound up for him again.

“Come on,” he encourages. “You can take it.”

Your brain is hazy from the stimulation, barely registering anything but pleasure as his fingers search and probe like they have some sort of job to do. You feel damp with heat and moisture, the pulsing, burning need in between your legs insistent and demanding.

“Almost there,” he breathes, voice raspy with arousal. A fourth finger brushes up against your lips, and the thought of more stretch, more stimulation, more pleasure, has you clenching desperately against the ones that your cunt is already spread out on.

You sob, your body strung out and wrecked, suspended on the tipping point of another orgasm.

As you cum again, the feeling of relief - white-hot and blinding - rips along your core. You’re not sure you’ve experienced anything quite so intense before, and as you look down at him, hands still manipulating your cunt so expertly, you don’t know if he has the intention of stopping anytime soon.

He stands up and your eyes drift to his cock, flushed purple and almost painfully hard, dripping with precum. His hand strokes along his shaft, soft curses muttered under his breath, but he opens them wide again and looks down at you sadly. “I’m so sorry,” he says, voice pleading. “I don’t have any condoms.”

Bokuto sounds so genuine, his tone kind and filled with regret, and guilt begins to sting at your conscience. He’s made you feel so fucking good, given you the best orgasms of your life - is it really fair if you leave him wanting and unsatisfied?

You’re fucked halfway out of your mind when you answer, eyes still fixated on his cock, head swimming with thoughts of how much you want to please him.

“It’s fine,” you say, your words slurred and hesitant. “You can.. you can use me. Use my pussy to get you off. Jus’ pull out at the end.”

Ecstasy flashes across his face, and he looks down eagerly. “Fuck, babe. You’re so perfect. I love you.”

You hadn’t heard those words for weeks.

His strong arms pick you up easily, maneuvering you around until he’s the one sitting on the couch and your cunt is positioned right over his dick. His hands grip tightly at your waist, fingertips pressing so insistently that you’re sure you’ll wake up the next morning with bruises dotting your skin. He lowers you down slowly, carefully, groaning as he fills you up and the warmth of your cunt envelopes him whole.

He already looked big, just from the cursory glance you’d taken earlier, but as you feel the tip of his cock shove against your cervix, your breath almost catches at how you feel your walls expanding to accommodate all of him.

The drag of his curved cock up against your sensitive walls leaves your legs trembling and squirming, but he holds you firmly down as he thrusts up inside over and over. “Stay still,” he coos. “Let me take care of you.”

Bokuto starts off gently, fucking you with shallow little thrusts that have you panting with desperation. He can tell by the way your cunt is fluttering that you're craving more, that the two orgasms he gave you earlier just wasn’t enough for a greedy girl like you, and he relishes the way your small hands grip desperately at his shirt.

He raises you up off his cock, running the tip up and down your slit until your pussy throbs, and slams you back down again. The rhythm he maintains is steady and even, bouncing you up and down on his cock like a ragdoll, whispering stuttered curses and phrases of endearment against your ear, making you shiver from the overload of stimuli.

“Feels so amazing,” he moans. “Gonna.. Gonna cum soon.”

The heat in your core grows intense at the thought of his orgasm, involuntarily whining, and you start to rock your hips back and forth in an attempt to search out more friction.

Bokuto knows he promised to pull out. He knows that it wouldn’t be right if he stayed buried inside your cunt. But how is he supposed to stop himself when you feel this good, wrapped so obediently around him like a perfect little fuck doll? And the heat of your cunt is gripping incredibly tight all around his length, your little squirms and shivers so adorable as he uses you to get himself off.

He can’t help himself.

With one last, desperate thrust, he lets go, thick spurts of cum filling you up until he’s sure your insides are dripping white, and he caresses your stomach where your womb would be in satisfaction. It feels so good to cum inside of a tight cunt, much better than it would’ve if he’d forced himself to pull out, he thinks. And you look so pretty all full and leaking with his seed.

It takes you a moment to fully register the warm, wet feeling pooling inside you, your brain too fucked out, too stupid from the constant stimulation to truly understand what exactly dripping from your slit is.

When you do realize - oh god, he came inside me - panic starts to grip at the edges of your frayed nerves, your vision tunneling as the magnitude of what had just happened hits you. Tears start to blur the world around you, the dim lighting of his living room merging the furniture and warping the walls, and you faintly register the feeling of arms wrapped tight around you, a hand reaching up to caress soothingly at your cheek.

“You know,” Bokuto whispers, face lit up in wonder. “I think we’re soulmates.”

[saey-bae]

Saeyoung Choi/OC - Bet on Me

this was written for the @nostringsdetached zine back in august 2021. the free zine bundle can be found here. 

big, big love and thanks to my art partner bluecat and a belated thank you to the nsd team for having me, they were an absolute pleasure! cheers  💜

word count: 3834

check out my masterpost here

Like all problems, it started with the little things.

It started with Pokemon Go.

It started with Chansey, with its little dancing back and forth motion, taunting as Saki tried to catch it with a dwindling number of pokeballs. 

Why was it so hard to catch? 

Over the course of a half hour, she saw why this had become a last resort game. Ever since she’d moved in with Saeyoung, going outside had become a bit of a distant memory. Like a twice a month they’re-in-dire-need-of-HBC-and-PhD-Pepper kind of deal, Lately, it’d even been less than that— ever since he’d started visiting Saeran at the hospital, he began doing grocery runs by himself on the way back. She’d protested over that, but he insisted that it was much needed quiet time. 

So that left her here, sitting by herself in the bunker in worry and playing a last resort game because she’d already played everything else. Perhaps she should’ve taken up Saeyoung's offer on that fake GPS tool.

“Ai cham,” she grumbled, watching as the pink blob broke a fourth pokeball. She tossed another berry its way. “C’mon, I’ll treat you to something nice. Come to me.”

"What kind of treat?" A pair of arms suddenly draped around her from the back of the couch and she startled, looking up. Golden eyes glittered back, much more amused than she’d seen in a long while. Good. Looks like the visit to Saeran went well. "Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” Saki shook her head, tongue tied for a moment as she tried to think of an excuse. “Wh-when did you even get in? I didn’t hear the door open.”

“A magician never reveals his secrets.” He pressed a finger to his smiling lips. “Now where's my treat?" 

"Not for you." She considered asking about Saeran, before thinking better of it and wiggling her phone in his direction instead. "For her. She just doesn't want to get caught and I'm running out of pokeballs." 

Saeyoung blinked at the screen for a moment. She could see the gears turning in that brilliant head of his, that spark in his eyes when presented with a challenge. "If I catch her for you, will you make me a treat?" 

"Depends on the treat." 

He grinned. "Bibimbap." 

Saki sighed, pretending to consider for a moment. She didn't particularly like cooking but Saeyoung loved it when she cooked for him —he claimed food tasted better when it was hers— and it’d been so long since she’d seen him so playful. It wasn’t even in question, really. 

“Oh, alright."

"Yay!" He leaned over, pressing his finger to her screen, then swiped. She held her breath as the little red ball wiggled a couple of times before coming to a stop.

Chansey has been caught!

"Whoa, what?" She pointed at the screen, then at him. "How?"

"Magic fingers." He wiggled said fingers at her, laughing. "Bibimbap for dinner tonight?" 

"Hold on, that's gotta be a fluke." She pouted. This was the most time she’d spent with him this week, and she’d be damned if she didn’t want at least a little more of it. "I probably made it easier for you to catch. If I threw another ball, I could have caught her too."

"Oh really?" His glasses glinted. Her boyfriend was, all in all, probably the most laid back person she knew. Very few things ruffled his feathers. But after some months of living together, she'd found out that he could be competitive, given the right mood. "So what do you want to do about it?"

This certainly was the right mood.

"Whoever catches the most Pokemon by the end of the day wins. If you win, I'll make you bibimbap for the week. If I win, I don't have to cook." 

He rubbed his chin in mock thought. "Hmm, I don't know… just one week of bibimbap?"

"Bibimbap whenever you want for the next two weeks?"

There was that glint again. "You have my attention."

“For a month?”

“Deal!”

And that's how the two of them ended up spending the entire day catching Pokemon, sprawled out on the couch and basking in the little victories and grumbles at defeat. Every so often, she’d glance over at him to see his tongue poking out of the side of his mouth, adorable even in concentration. Perhaps she should have concentrated just as hard instead of staring though, because at the end of the night— 

"So… bibimbap for dinner?" 

"It's midnight, Saeyoung." 

"Is that a yes?"

Saki couldn't help but laugh at the way he wiggled his brows at her. How could she deny a face like that? "Yes."

After all was said and done, the bibimbap turned out to be satisfying. What was even more satisfying was Saeyoung's over-the-top praise and that grin, the kind that had his cheeks rosy and his eyes sparkling. It was so warm, so content; it had her heart fluttering. She’d almost forgotten how wonderful it was to spend so much time with her boyfriend. But such a wonderful treat set a sort of precedent for little bets here and there.

Like whoever could stuff the most grapes in their mouth would forgo laundry for a week. (Saeyoung won that one. He managed to fit in 20 grapes.)

Or whoever could find out what was in Jumin's secret RFA folder could skip dish duty for three days. (Saki won that one. They were pictures of Elizabeth the 3rd. Why they were relevant, she didn’t know— but Saeyoung was intent on getting his hands on that folder now.)

After that, she regrettably won the eating contest. Or perhaps Saeyoung let her win. Either way, she’d gotten sick and he was seemingly intent on forgetting about the bet altogether, choosing to usher her into bed instead.

“I’m fine, though,” she protested, but offered little resistance as he tucked the covers over her. Though he often checked in with how she was doing, it really had been some time since her boyfriend had truly fussed over her. Because between these little competitions, he was still busy. Busy with Saeran at the hospital. Busy with the RFA. Busy with noisy, unkind thoughts; the ones that clouded his eyes and rendered him silent for long stretches of time. And she slowly came to realize that these brief moments of petty competitions seemed to be the only reprieve he had from his own head. 

“Even if you’re okay, you should try to get some sleepy-sleeps. You’ve been sleeping at weird hours lately because of me.” He tapped the tip of her nose, his faint smile gentle. “I’ll go make you some soup. It’ll be out of a can, so don’t expect too much, okay?”

As he turned to leave, her fingers caught on his sleeve, tugging. He turned back, his own fingers coming around to wrap around hers. “Wait. Will you come to bed with me instead?”

Saeyoung paused, his gaze resting on her for a brief moment before they strayed. “Well…” 

“Please?” 

“Alright.” There was that faint smile again, but this one held no warmth. Contrastingly, as he climbed into bed and curled his body around hers, all she could feel was his warmth. “Is this okay?” 

“Y-yeah.” 

His arms curved around her waist, drawing her to his chest as his breath tickled the shell of her ear. The unfamiliar feeling had Saki shuddering, heat blooming where their bodies met. She wished she could have him like this more often, but she couldn’t tell him that. Not when he was working so hard to support his brother. Not after all that had happened with V, Rika, and the RFA. She just couldn’t fit into those spaces that had carved themselves into his time.

But she would wait. He was worth every second of it.

“You’re all quiet.” His voice sent shivers down her spine. “What are you thinking about?” 

“Nothing at all.” Her hand found his, fingers interlinking. “People don’t speak when they sleep, silly.”

He hummed, nose nestling into the nape of her neck. “I guess you’re right.”

A pause.

“So... I did win the bet.” 

Saeyoung exhaled a laugh, hot and breathy as it fanned against her skin. “Yeah, but then you got sick after. I don’t think we can call that a real victory, right?” 

“We absolutely can.” Saki turned over, rather serious in her declaration as she pinned him with a look. “It’s called committing to the cause.” 

He leaned forward, his forehead came to meet hers. “Committing, hm?”

“Absolutely.” 

“Since you’re so committed, why don’t I give you an even better prize?”

“A better prize than walking around in a maid’s dress for a week?” She quirked a brow. “What could that possibly be?” 

“I would never deprive myself of wearing a maid’s dress!” He drew back in mock disdain, lips pursed. “This would just be a bonus, but if you don’t want it…” 

“No, I do! I do.” She pulled him back until his forehead touched hers again, even as her chest tightened. She wanted so much of him when he had nothing left to give, and here he was, offering just a bit more. 

“What’s that face?” He cupped her cheek, thumb grazing across her skin lightly. “I thought you said that you wanted a bonus?” 

“I do.” She felt herself forcing a smile. She’d have to insist on resting before he’d even consider doing so himself. “I’m just feeling tired now, that’s all. Will you sleep with me?” 

“Alright.” His arms came to wrap around her once more, pulling her flush against his chest. In the silence, Saki listened to his heart beat, letting the steady pace lull her.

Did her presence give him the same sort of soothing that he gave her? In the way that eased the knots in her chest and cleared all the thoughts in her head?

And was he comfortable? 

Was he okay?

As she felt herself drift off, she thought she’d heard him whisper something, but by then she was too far gone to hear it.

—

It was some days later after the eating competition fiasco that Saki decided the laundry had to be done. Saeyoung had kept her bedridden for some odd days, insisting that she needed to take it easy, but that meant the dirty clothes basket had grown to monstrous proportions since she’d last seen it. And while her boyfriend technically could have done it himself, he had won the grape bet. Besides, he had a terrible track record with laundry. Separating colours from whites? Hot water or cold water? How much laundry detergent again?

He was a brilliant man, that she knew. But doing laundry somehow broke his brain and she really couldn’t be fussed to walk him through the instructions today when she could do it herself. 

Saki got to work, separating clothes into different hampers and bringing them to the washing machine. It was mindless work, but it kept her body busy and her thoughts occupied. 

Checking the time between loads, she’d expected him to have long left for the hospital by then. But when she went to check in his mancave, she caught Saeyoung hunched over his desk, writing.

"Jagiya?" She peered in. Force of habit had her scanning the floors for empty chip bags. "You're still here?"

He startled, his head jerking up at the sound of her voice. "Oh! What time is it?"

"Quarter past four."

"Shit." He stood, tidying the work space. She averted her eyes.

Saeyoung's way of tidying consisted of haphazardly shuffling papers into a stack, then pushing it back into a corner to join the other haphazardly balanced stacks. His desk was the one part of the house that intimidated Saki the most. 

"You didn’t visit Saeran today?" When he didn't respond, she looked back at him, only to see him close distance between the two of them with two long strides. In his outstretched hand was an envelope.

"This is for you." When she didn't immediately reach for it, he pushed it into her hands gently. His eyes met hers, reassuring. “He said he needed a break from me.”

“Was it a good idea to listen?” She managed a half-smile. “I’m sure he thinks he needs a break from you everyday.”

“Probably.”

The two of them stood there for a moment, silence settling in the small, yet large gap between her and Saeyoung. Looking up at him, she found that her chest ached at the sight. Perhaps it was because she wasn't used to seeing him before supper nowadays. Perhaps it was because she wanted to hug him, but didn't quite know how to ask.

“So you’ve been hiding out here since lunch?” is what came out instead.

The corner of his mouth quirked up. “Not hiding. You just never came in.” 

"My bad. But you know that I try to avoid this room as much as possible." Saki mock shuddered. "This mancave… it scares me."

He grinned. "And that's what makes it a good mancave."

"If you say so." Her eyes flickered down to the envelope in her hands, fingers tracing along the edges. "What's this, anyway?"

"It's the bonus." His hand closed around one of hers. "I'll see you at dinner tonight?" 

"You don't have to…"

"I know." When Saki looked up, his smile was kind.

"Well then... I look forward to whatever this bonus is." She reached up to give him a kiss on the cheek, but he turned at the last moment and caught her lips instead. 

Warm, soft, supple. Tasted suspiciously of Honey Buddha Chips. 

She was in love.

Slowly, Saeyoung withdrew. There must have been some poorly concealed disappointment on her face because he laughed, all the while leaning in for another peck. "I'll see you soon. I promise." 

"Okay," she said, even though she wasn't quite ready to let him go yet. "Have a great day. I hope the visit goes well." 

He only smiled before turning to leave.

Once Saki heard the front door click shut, her eyes turned back to the envelope. It was a simple white, smudged with erasers and pencil marks. She couldn't help but smile, tracing it with her fingers.

Flipping it over, she pulled out the card. Again, a plain white but this time with a watercolour of a bouquet. On the inside, in his distinct chicken scratch: "Someone will be coming by to pick you up at 7 pm. Dress fancy!" 

She kept re-reading the two sentences, uncomprehending. 7 pm? That was dinner, right? Just when she thought her boyfriend couldn’t be any more cryptic, he’d outdid himself again. But then again, that was part of his charm.

She could only smile to herself wryly as she went to get ready. 

It took her some time to lay out all the dresses she owned. She figured that out of all the clothes she owned, they'd seen the least amount of action— besides, he did say to dress fancy. (Not that she was fully convinced that her definition of fancy remotely aligned with his.)

Eventually, she settled on a flowy blouse and a long skirt, the kind with a narrow waist and fluttering hem that kissed her ankles. Make-up soon adorned her cheeks with careful, even brush strokes. She had even spritzed on a little perfume.

Just as she finished touching up her lipstick, she heard the doorbell ring.

She hurried to the door, opening it to reveal a redheaded man dressed in a full suit and a chauffeur cap. 

"Hello. I'm here to pick up Saki."

If she had even the slightest doubt about whether the smile under the cap belonged to her boyfriend, the chirpy voice silenced it instantly.

"Are you my driver tonight?" She quirked a brow.

Saeyoung's grin was wide, sparkling. It was a smile she hadn’t seen in months. "I sure am. Are you ready to go?" 

Saki couldn't help but giggle, reaching out to wrap her arm around his. He led her out of the bunker complex and to the limousine parked outside.

When he opened the back door for her, she had half a mind to protest —she wanted to sit with him, after all— but something in his eyes gave her pause. It was an insistence, almost a pleading, and she found herself unable to say no.

As he pulled out of the driveway and onto the roads, she realized that Saeyoung wasn't going at the breakneck speeds she was used to with him; instead, it was steady and… surprisingly, at the speed limit. Almost immediately, she could tell that they were headed towards the city, where the bright lights kissed the horizon. 

It wasn't long before they passed the street lamps dotting across the highway and drove through the main roads of Seoul. Restaurants, karaoke, bars… they all glowed with neon signs. Through the windows, people seemed to be laughing and enjoying their time; they looked happy and full of life. 

Her chest warmed. Soon, she'd be able to spend time with Saeyoung like that too.

After passing by another couple of busy streets, the car came to a rolling stop in front of a darkened restaurant. 

Well... this wasn’t exactly the neon lights she’d found herself hoping for.

Saki peered out into the night, blinking. The Garden?

The Garden was a rather upscale restaurant in downtown Seoul, one that boasted fresh vegetables from its own rooftop garden. She'd been wanting to go with Saeyoung for a while, though the time was never quite right. In fact, she hadn't brought it up in a while. It was so out of question, she didn’t even realize it was an option. How did he remember?

She reached out to open the car door, but Saeyoung beat her to it. It swung open, and a hand outstretched to meet hers as she climbed out.

"You remembered that I wanted to come here." She looked up at Saeyoung, endeared by how his cheeks had turned pink.

"Of course I did." He had taken off the cap at some point and, having nothing else to fiddle with, ran a hand through his hair several times. It stuck up every which way with each stroke.

"Thank you." 

"Nothing to thank me for yet." He closed his hand around Saki’s, gently tugging as he urged her to follow him. 

The two of them made their way into the restaurant, only to find it just as dark as it appeared to be from the outside- and deserted as well.

No way this place wouldn't be busy on a Friday night.

"Wh- wait- why is it-?"

But Saeyoung only pulled her along further towards the back until the two of them stood in front of an "Employees Only" door. Opening the door revealed a flight of stairs that headed upwards. He gestured for her to enter.

"Should we be going here?" Saki looked around, then back at him. "What's going on, Saeyoung?"

"Go on. Trust me." He reached out, his thumb smoothing over her cheek.

His gaze was warm and unwavering, and it spurred her forward. She climbed up the stairs slowly, though the sight that met her at the top had her gasping.

The rooftop garden was gorgeous, its ledges covered with pots of vegetable and fruit bearing plants. Vines and leaves curled around stone, colouring the grey with vibrant greens. Little lamps adorned the spaces between the pots, warm light emanating from each one. And in the centre of the garden, the plants had been cleared for a small table and a little radio set.

"Saeyoung?" Saki stared at the view before her, a heaviness in her chest and a knot in her throat. 

“Yeah?” His soft voice came from beside her, and she turned to see him smiling brightly. At her expression, though, it dimmed. “You don’t... like it?”

“Oh- oh no. I love it.” She swiped at her wet eyes before remembering she had make up on, switching to dabbing gently like she hadn’t just furiously wiped them. “This place is beautiful. How did you manage to get a reservation like this?”

“It’s a secret.” He pressed a finger to his lips smiling, though his relaxing shoulders told her he was more relieved than anything else. His hand stretched out to take hers. “Will you dance with me?” 

“It’d be my pleasure.” 

He drew her to the centre of the garden, sweeping her into his arms. Snuggly pressed together, the two of them swayed to the same rhythm of an unheard song. The stars danced above with them, twinkling against velvet darkness. 

“Comfortable?” His voice was a low hum.

“Yeah.” She spoke thickly, the lump still stuck in her throat. She wondered how long he’d been planning to take her to this restaurant-- how long he’d been planning to take her out anywhere, really. 

“Are you-” 

“I can’t believe- oh.”

The both of them drew back, eyes meeting before averting as they both chuckled nervously. 

“You go first,” he insisted gently.

“I just… This is such a wonderful surprise. I can’t believe we’re here.” Saki inched closer, her fingers tightening where she held onto his shirt. “I appreciate this more than you know.” 

“This doesn’t even begin to show you how much I appreciate you. You’ve been so patient with me while I’ve had to take care of Saeran.” He blinked, eyes suddenly misty. “Things are going well at the hospital because I’ve had you to support me. I wanted to thank you somehow; I figured this would be a good start.” 

He leaned forward, his forehead pressed against hers gently. His glasses smudged against her cheek, a gentle deterrent, but she only pressed in further. 

The two of them swayed for a long moment, his arms warm and comforting around her. But perhaps there was something fundamentally wrong with her, with the way she itched to speak with mild tones of sarcasm at the most inappropriate times, because she couldn’t help but whisper, “I thought this was the bonus for winning the eating competition?”

And despite the single tear that had tracked its way down his cheek, Saeyoung laughed loudly, warm and full and free. And then he tilted his head and his lips met hers.

This kiss was different somehow; it stirred the sleeping butterflies in her stomach, their wings fluttering as they awoke. She was the first to draw away, cheeks warm but gaze never moving from his. “I’ll be here to support you always.”

He opened his mouth, then paused for a moment before his lips quirked. “And I’ll always be here to catch your Pokemon. No more competitions.”

“Hm. Not even one?”

He grinned in a way that told her he was game and from the butterflies it gave her, she knew he was worth every second of waiting. She also knew that it was going to be a long night of silly, stupid bets ahead.

And she couldn’t wait.

[bang-tan-bitches]

Title: Beloved

Word Count: 17.4k

Rating: M

Genre: Drama/Thriller/Smut

Warnings: Yandere Behavior, Violence, Blood, Character Death, Emotional Manipulation, Hint of Dubious Consent, Unprotected Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Cream Pie, Oral Sex (Female Receiving), Mild Dirty Talk 

Pairing: Emperor!Yoongi X Reader

Summary: Court was just a game of politics after all. And you intended to win

Written By: Admin B

Note: This was entirely inspired by Daechwita and everyone should thank A for indulging my madness and encouraging me

“Are you even listening to me?”

 You jerk at the sound of your younger sister’s voice, the long carriage ride has made you sleepy. You glance over at her and give her an indulgent smile, “I’m sorry, darling. I can only listen to you wax poetic about his Imperial Highness’ esteemed looks for so long before I lose interest.”

You can’t help but laugh when Ara snaps her fan closed and tries to hit you with it, but you block it with your own fan.

“Stop or you’ll wrinkle your dress!” You giggle, “Then what will his majesty think of you?!”

She sits back in her seat, but you can see her eyes are shining with laughter. She looks positively breathtaking in her pale pink ceremonial dress. Her hair is beautifully styled with pearls and ribbons laced throughout. Her maids really made her as eye catching as possible. When the decree was first announced that all single ladies of marriageable age were invited to the palace on behalf of the imperial princess to find a bride for his majesty, you were concerned. You know Ara had fallen hopelessly in love with the emperor the one and only time she saw him, having begged father to take her to court with him two years prior. Ever since then she had this fairy tale dream in her head that they were meant to be together and you were terribly afraid of her getting hurt. 

“He really is beautiful,” her eyes are dreamy as she glances out the carriage window, “did I tell you how his hair is so pale that it practically shines like moonlight?”

“Yes, yes,” the sarcasm clear in your voice, “He is the most handsome and benevolent ruler our land has ever seen!” 

“He is,” you sister insists, “even with the scar!”

“He has a scar? I thought that was just a rumor.” You look out the carriage window to see how far you are from the palace. The ride seemed longer than usual, but that could have just been your boredom with the topic. You had no interest in politics - not that that had stopped your father from teaching you - and avoided going to court as much as possible. You had never even been in the presence of the emperor or the imperial princess. Ara had no interest in politics either, but that didn’t stop her dreams of becoming Empress.

“Oh! It’s not a rumor!” Your sister straightens her posture, “There’s a scar that covers his right eye! He got it during the great war when he was still the crown prince.”

“Why didn’t he -”

“Why didn’t he have the Imperial healers treat him and remove the scar?” Your sister cuts you off before you can finish your question, “He wanted a reminder to never show leniency. He was betrayed by some of his own men that weren’t loyal to the crown. He slaughtered not only the betrayers, but also their entire families.”

You furrow your brows and fix the long sleeves of your ceremonial dress, uncomfortable with the emperor’s apparent brutality, “Sounds cruel.”

“It’s not cruel. He had to ensure that no one would try to get revenge. He was protecting our kingdom from those that would try to take it!”

“Of course, of course,” you placate your sister and roll your eyes at her fervent defense of his highness.

“Don’t roll your eyes, I’m terribly sorry everyone can’t be as noble as your dear Namjoon.”

You frown, “First of all, he is Lord Kim and he deserves your respect. Secondly, he isn’t my dear anything. Nothing has been finalized. There has only been talk of marriage, but no contracts are in place.”

Ara scoffs, “Everyone knows he absolutely adores you. His eyes get all big and his cheeks turn bright pink whenever he sees you.”

You smile wistfully and look down at your lap, “He is rather adorable.”

“Mmmhmm and if it was up to him you would already be married and probably with child.”

“Ara, it is impolite to discuss such things.” You scold gently, “What if someone overheard you?”

“Who?” Ara dramatically looks around the carriage before resting back against her seat, “Who can possibly hear us? There is only me and you in this carriage. No one is going to hear us.”

“Still, you need to be appropriate, you cannot slip up at the palace.”

You both sit in silence for a moment, Ara with closed eyes gently fanning herself while you contemplate how to bring up what’s been weighing heavily on your mind. Your younger sister was spoiled and had always gotten her way, even you were guilty of indulging her every whim. You were terribly worried that she would not adjust to court life well. Your understanding was that the women could be even more vicious than the men and you needed to prepare her.

You chew your lip before deciding to broach the delicate topic, “I heard another rumor about your emperor.”

“Mmm… what’s that?” Ara opens one eye to look at you.

“I heard,” you lean forward and lower your voice, “that his harem is… extensive.”

Ara pouts adorably, “It is. Apparently he has over 300 concubines.”

“300? That has to be an exaggeration. No man would want 300 concubines. Although,” you continue quietly, “he is the emperor and a large harem would show off his wealth and power. Does he have a favorite among them?”

“Ugh,” you watch Ara’s eyes darken in anger, “Concubine Nam In-Suk. She is his favored concubine and I heard the only reason she wasn’t named his empress is because Imperial Princess Min would not allow it.”

“Why would the emperor care what his elder sister thinks?” You already know the answers to all these questions, but you hope that asking them will help Ara realize what she needs to do to secure her place as empress. The carriage starts to slow, you were almost to the palace and wouldn’t have much time alone to prepare her going forward and no time alone once you’d arrived.

“She is his advisor and closest confidant. He trusts her with everything.”

“Ara,” you grab your sister’s hand and give her a meaningful look, “It is very important that you gain the favor of Imperial Princess Min. If you have her blessing, you will not be denied. Most of the silly girls will be striving for Emperor Min’s attention, not realizing that the imperial princess is making the final choice.”

Ara nods her head, determined. “I will gain her favor.”

“Also,” you know she will hate what you are about to suggest, but it has to be done, “You need to become friendly with Concubine Nam.”

“Never!” Ara gasps and tries to pull away, “As soon as I’m chosen as empress I will make him disband his harem!”

“Ara, you cannot!” You lean close and let the severity of your demand bleed into your tone, “You must become friendly and show you are not a threat.” 

“But I am a threat…” she pushes her lip out in a pout. 

You squeeze her hand, “I know, darling. But court politics are not that different from bedroom politics. He will not get rid of his harem just because you demand it. If Concubine Nam thinks she can manipulate and play you, she will be less of a threat. She has his ear and his favor. Let them think you are stupid little girl with stars in her eyes. It will bend them to your will.”

 “But,” Ara’s voice is quiet, “I want him to love only me.”

“Oh my beloved Ara,” you hold her close to you, “these things take time. Once you bed him and provide an heir, you will secure your place at his side. He will have to love and cherish only you. How could he not?”

Her smile is blinding when the carriage stops outside the palace gates. 

-0-0-0-

“Relax,” you whisper, “you are the most beautiful lady here. You have nothing to fear.”

Ara releases her bottom lip and nods subtly. When you had arrived at the palace earlier that day, you were welcomed inside to a large hall filled with other single young ladies and their chaperones, all from the most prominent families in the kingdom. Imperial Princess Min herself greeted everyone and announced that a welcome banquet would be held that evening. You were then ushered to your rooms where you could refresh yourselves before the evening. The Daisy Courtyard would serve as your temporary home for the next few weeks. It was a smaller courtyard, but it was beautiful and secluded and you were thankful to learn that it was nowhere near the concubine courtyard. 

It was almost impossible to remember how quiet the courtyard was now. 

Now, in the palace banquet room awaiting the arrival of the emperor for what felt like hours with the crowd growing more restless by the minute, you dearly missed the seclusion. Imperial Princess Min was present, drinking wine and enjoying the performance of the dancers brought in for entertainment. If she was upset with the late arrival of her brother, her face did not show it.

The music abruptly stops and everyone quiets down. The large golden doors at the back of the room are opened and an imperial servant steps in, placing their fisted hand over their heart, they bow and announce, “His Royal Highness, Emperor Min Yoongi, 37th Emperor of the Min Dynasty.”

Everyone immediately bows, giving reverence to the Emperor. He is dressed in the darkest black with gold dangling from his ears, neck, and fingers.  His blond hair is pulled up into a high topknot and a black headband is across his forehead. 

You notice a beautiful woman trailing a few steps behind him. She is covered in diamonds. They glitter from her shiny black hair down to the long train of her bright purple ceremonial dress. The dress itself is decorated in patterns of golden tigers, matching the pattern of the emperor’s black robe.

By the clenching of Ara’s hands, you realize that this must be Concubine Nam. You discreetly nudge your sister and mouth for her to relax. 

The emperor takes his seat on his golden dragon throne, while his favored concubine sits obediently at his feet. His presence is overpowering and you can feel his displeasure radiating throughout the room.  

“So… I was told that one of you will be this emperor’s bride and empress consort.” Emperor Min’s voice is deep and controlled, but the underlying fury is unmistakable. You can feel his eyes trail over the room, “Do you really think that one of you will enrapture this emperor? Do you truly believe one of you will become my chosen?”

Everyone is deathly silent, afraid of angering his highness even more. You can feel his penetrating gaze stop on you. You did not dare look upon the face of the emperor. You knew the rules of the court. You keep your eyes lowered and wait for his eyes to move past you. 

They don’t.

You can still feel him staring at you and after several silent minutes you hesitantly look up and meet his eyes. You feel your breath catch in your throat. He is startlingly beautiful. His features are delicate but his scar provides him a hint of roguishness that accentuates his already extraordinary beauty. 

His gaze is intense and you can feel his angry aura disappear to something unreadable. His dark eyes are burning with something as a devilishly handsome smile spreads across his face.

You quickly lower your eyes and ignore the chill down your spine and the heat spreading across your face. You now understand how your sister could be so enraptured with one look. 

The emperor laughs, startling you into looking again. He’s staring at his sister and smiling. You can see Concubine Nam’s face screwed up, but staring at the floor. You look away quickly before he can feel your stare. His voice is filled with warmth and something else, something unsettling, “Maybe this emperor will finally meet his bride amongst the ladies here today. Rise and enjoy the welcome feast.”

Immediately servants present platters of food to the various tables and the music starts again. You ignore the burning gaze you feel on you and direct your attention to Ara.

“Make sure you eat. You have to be strong if you plan to carry the next heir of the kingdom.” You add more food to her plate.

“Yes, yes,” Ara giggles and pushes your hand away, “I could feel him staring in our direction. Did you feel it too?”

You force a smile, “Of course. How could he not stare at you. I told you that you were the most beautiful lady here.”

When it’s your turn to introduce yourselves to the royal family, you make sure to keep your head low and only make eye contact with Imperial Princess Min once you’re allowed to rise. Next to you, your sister does the same, following your example, even as you feel the hot eyes of the emperor on you once again. Ara pays a pretty compliment to the Princess, and you smile proudly when the Princess laughs delightedly and asks for your names. 

“Oh, I remember you. And your father.” Princess Min says, a delicate finger resting on her bottom lip. She shares a look with her brother and you can feel the hateful eyes of Concubine Nam on you and your sister. You ignore her. You needed Ara to win over Princess Min before she won the hearts of anyone else. “I look forward to getting to know you once again. Both of you.” 

You smile, and bow again before moving on to let the others greet the royal family. 

Ignoring the heavy weight of Emperor Min’s gaze, you try to keep your sister distracted and engaged during the remainder of the banquet. For every goblet of wine your sister has, you make sure she also has a goblet of water. You don’t want her embarrassing herself in front of the other eligible ladies. You relax once the emperor’s gaze is no longer focused on you and take the chance to glance towards the throne, noticing the emperor in a deep discussion with his sister. The imperial princess has a strange smile on her face and is nodding her head along to whatever his highness is saying. You also notice that Concubine Nam is nowhere to be seen.

“Where did Concubine Nam go?”

“What?” Ara quickly looks around the large hall, her voice tinged with excitement, “Concubine Nam? His highness must have sent her away.”

"Strange..” you take a delicate bite of the fresh dumplings brought out by the servants, smiling a bit at how excited Ara is to find her possible rival missing, “I thought she never left his side.”  

“Well…” Ara is interrupted by the arrival of an imperial maid. The maid bows her head respectively and holds a silver tray with a folded golden parchment.

You grab the parchment and slowly open it, quickly read the contents, fold it and place it back on the tray. “Please tell your mistress we accept.”

The maid bows and scurries away. You watch her go and keep a calm mask on your face, even as your heart is racing. You knew the point of these banquets and festivities was to find the Emperor a bride, but to receive an invitation so quickly… You notice many of the young ladies in attendance are watching and you refuse to show any sort of emotion. 

Court was just a game of politics after all. And you intended to win. For Ara. 

Ara grabs your hand under the table where no one can see, “What was that about?”

“Ara, did you bring that pretty pale green dress that grandfather gifted you for your birthday last year?” You take a sip of your wine, and keep your tone low.

“Of course.” Ara nods her head and grabs some fruit slices from one of the platters on the table, but by the tenseness of her shoulders, you could feel her excitement. You would have to instruct her on how to hide it better. 

“Good. Wear it tomorrow.” You squeeze her hand, “we are invited to the morning meal with Imperial Princess Min.”

-0-0-0-

Imperial Princess Min’s courtyard and private rooms are absolutely gorgeous. Everything is draped in golds and pastels and smells of the fresh flowers that are placed throughout her rooms. The three of you sit at a finely crafted table in her pavilion, the only sounds are the bubbling of the large fountain nearby and the tinkling of the platters of food as they are placed upon the table before you. 

“Thank you for joining me this beautiful morning.” Princess Min smiles sweetly at you both, once you rise from your bow, gesturing for a maid to pour tea, “I do hope you enjoy the meal.”

“We are honored to be invited by her majesty for a meal. Thank you.” You bow your head reverently and sit in the chair the maid has pulled out. 

“Yes, thank you, your highness.” Your sister follows suit. The plates are quickly set with delicious smelling food, but you can only sip your tea, taking your cue from the princess who has barely glanced at her plate. 

“Tell me,” Princess Min takes a dainty sip of tea, “Are you enjoying your time at the palace?”

“It is very beautiful here. We are forever indebted to the emperor and the imperial princess for allowing us to visit.” You keep your voice soft and your sister nods along, her cheeks slightly puffed with the food she has in her mouth.

“And your rooms…” Princess Min continues, directing a maid to put some kimchi on her plate, “are they to your liking?”

“Yes your majesty. The Daisy courtyard is beautiful. Thank you for gracing us with such lovely lodgings.”

The princess inclines her head briefly and smiles, “What do you think of the emperor?”

“Oh, he is wonderful. The best ruler our empire has ever seen.” Ara gushes enthusiastically, “May our emperor live ten thousand years!”

You and Princess Min share a small smile, both seeing that Ara is completely infatuated with his highness. You take a small bite of the delicious food on your plate as Ara continues to praise the emperor. 

“And you?” Princess Min interrupts your sister and turns her gaze on you. Her dark eyes are so similar to her brother that it catches you off guard for a moment, “What do you think of the emperor?”

You didn’t understand why but you feel like your answer holds more weight than your sister’s. You lick your suddenly dry lips, smile demurely at the imperial princess and respond as blandly but nicely as possible, “His highness is a most generous and benevolent king.”

“That he is.” Princess Min smiles and glances at your sister, “And what are your thoughts on his harem?”

Your sister is quiet for a moment and you can see her struggling with finding what she wants to say, you gracefully answer for her, “I’m sure my sister would be most grateful to have others help serve the emperor.”

“Yes!” Ara nods eagerly, “I am most grateful that the emperor has many to keep him company.”

Princess Min hides a giggle behind her hand and you tilt your head, curious what could make the Princess giggle like that. 

“Indeed. You may be grateful for the… help.”

Your eyes widen but Ara continues to look confused. You share a look with the Princess before she continues, “My brother, the Emperor, has a… healthy appetite.” 

As if summoned by your discussion of him, your meal is interrupted by the arrival of a servant stepping into the pavilion, “His Royal Highness, Emperor Min Yoongi, 37th Emperor of the Min Dynasty.”

You and Ara quickly place down your chopsticks and stand from your seats to bow properly. 

“You may rise.” The emperor’s voice is deeper than you remember. He is dressed in an informal black robe patterned with crimson lotus flowers. Thick golden necklaces rest against his collarbones and his pale hair is pulled up into another topknot. You notice that his long, golden earrings aren’t as extravagant as the ones he wore the night before. You and Ara quickly return to your seats.

“Here is my darling sister.” The Emperor gently kisses Princess Min’s cheek before sitting in the empty chair that is placed directly across from you by a servant. “I hope you do not mind if I join you three for the morning meal.”

“Imperial Brother I can see right through you.” Princess Min giggles, “You just want to look at my pretty company.”

You feel your breath hitch when the emperor locks eyes with you, a dangerous smile pulling at his full lips, “Can you blame me? I cannot remember the last time I’ve been so enchanted.”

Princess Min smiles and glances between you and your sister, “The sisters are true beauties.”

“Indeed,” The emperor's eyes flicker to your sister before focusing back on you, “It’s refreshing to know that a father did not exaggerate his claims of his daughters’ virtues.”

"Our beauty does not dare compare to the Imperial Princess." Your sister answers perfectly, the flattery clear in her voice. You see the smile spread across Princess Min’s face, clearly pleased with Ara’s answer. 

Princess Min and Ara chatter for a while, the emperor occasionally joining the conversation, but his burning gaze never leaves your face. If anyone else notices his attention on you, they dare not mention it. You stay quiet, trying not to draw any attention away from Ara. You are proud of your sister, she is so poised as she engages in conversation with the royals. You were worried she would freeze up, or even worse, prattle on incessantly about nothing. You motion for a servant to refill your teacup and are startled when the emperor waives the servant away, refilling your cup himself. “Please, allow me.”

Everything stops around you at his actions, even the servants seem to freeze in place. You glance at your sister and the imperial princess, both completely in shock at the emperor’s generosity. Although you notice the imperial princess has a look of unbridled delight in her dark eyes.

“Thank you, your grace.” You incline your head and keep your face impassive. Only years of training drilled into you by your tutors prepared you for this. A lady must always be composed and even though you feel like your heart is going to beat out of your chest, you keep calm. You have no idea why his eminence would pour your tea as if he was your servant, but did not dare question his actions. 

The silence lasts longer than is socially acceptable and when you dare to look at him, the emperor’s eyes are already focused on you. You can feel Ara’s eyes darting between the two of you, but you can only focus on the emperor. He opens his mouth to say something when your meal is interrupted by several maids rushing into the room. His eyes release you from your trance as he looks away. 

You tell yourself that you’re grateful for the interruption. 

“Your highness!!!” They all drop to their knees once they see the emperor, their heads touching the ground, “Your highness you must hurry. Concubine Nam has collapsed!”

You glance at the maids in alarm and look back at the emperor, his brows furrowed, “Have the imperial healers been summoned?”

“Of course, your highness.” The head maid answers, rising from her bow. You realize that they must have been the personal maids of Concubine Nam. The other maids remain on their knees, foreheads pressed to the ground. 

The emperor turns away from the maids and takes a sip of his tea, dismissing them without words. You watch the head maid bite her lip before taking a step forward, “Please your highness, she is calling for you.”

You can see the displeasure on the emperor’s face. His eyes are angry, but the anger fades when he looks at you. He stares at you for a moment as if he’s waiting for your approval. You swallow and glance at the maids before meeting his gaze, “Your highness, please forgive this lowly maiden for speaking out of turn, but your beloved needs you. You should be at her side.”

“My beloved?” His voice is filled with mirth, and you wonder what is so humorous.

“Yes, your majesty.” You continue, licking your lips. His eyes follow your tongue. “Everyone knows she is your favored concubine. She needs you. You must attend to her.”

“You’re right.” His smile disarms you, again causing your breath to catch. “I must do what my beloved asks of me.”

With a swirl of his black robes, he is gone. The maids and his personal servants trailing behind him. 

The silence left by the emperor’s abrupt departure is broken by the tired sigh of the Imperial Princess. “I apologize for Imperial Brother.”

“No, no,” you immediately respond, seeing a forlorn expression on the princess’ face, “It’s alright. Concubine Nam needs him. I do hope she is alright.”

“Yes, hopefully it is nothing serious.” Your sister cannot hide the distaste in her voice at the mention of the concubine.

“Oh, it’s nothing serious.” The princess laughs scornfully, “Concubine Nam always pulls some sort of devious trick whenever she thinks my brother’s attention might be taken away from her.”

You glance in the direction the emperor disappeared, “Does she?”

“Yes. It’s pathetic.” 

You choke back a giggle when the princess rolls her eyes and instantly feel yourself relax. 

“She thinks she has my brother wrapped around her finger. Always throwing a tantrum or faking some sort of illness.” She sneers and shakes her head, looking at you as if confiding something, “Several months ago, when I first spoke to my brother about finding a potential bride, I thought for sure that she would do something then, but it looks like the little bitch was just biding her time.”

“That is terrible.” If Ara is shocked at the vulgar language used by the princess, her face doesn’t show it. She is calm and poised and while you know she has a million questions she wants to ask, she is keeping her composure until the two of you are alone in your courtyard. “Hopefully his highness sees through her tricks.”

“She’s not half as clever as she thinks she is. He knows exactly what she is doing, but he indulges her.”

“I’m sure his majesty has his reasons,” you smile at the princess, “have faith in your brother.”

Princess Min stares at you, a contemplative look on her face. You don’t know what she is looking for, but after a few quiet moments she smiles beautifully, “Yes. Of course, you’re right. I have faith in the emperor. He was chosen by the gods to rule our kingdom.”

“May he live ten thousand years.” Ara says solemnly. You and Princess Min murmur in agreement.

“Still,” Princess Min’s voice is resolute as she gestures for a maid to refill her tea cup, “Concubine Nam cannot be trusted. Be careful.”

You sip your tea, pushing thoughts of the emperor’s dark eyes to the back of your mind and wonder just how much danger your sister is in.

-0-0-0-

When you return to your courtyard, servants are rushing around packing your trunks..

“Excuse me,” you feel bad interrupting one of the maids, but you have no idea what is going on and can’t help but fear the worst, “what is happening?”

“My lady,” the maid bows her head, “we have orders to move you and your sister to the Golden Bell courtyard.”

You frown and watch the servants continue to carry out your things, Ara clutches your hand, “On whose orders?”

“His Royal Highness.”

“As you were.” You dismiss the maid and turn towards Ara. You can see the excitement in her eyes. She’s practically vibrating. You nod for her to follow you out to the main yard where an imperial carriage is waiting to take you to your new courtyard.

“Sister,” She whispers, “The Golden Bell Courtyard. That’s closer to Imperial Princess Min’s private courtyard.”

“I know.”

-0-0-0-

The Golden Bell Courtyard is stunning. The main yard is filled with the fragrant Golden Bell flowers and the rooms were at least twice the size of your previous courtyard. Ara is practically giddy with excitement as she throws herself down on the large bed in the room you chose.

“He must already be in love with me.” 

“Why wouldn’t he be?” You were surprised Ara was able to contain herself until the servants left. 

“Everything is so luxurious.”

“It is.” You sit yourself at the fancy dressing table in the corner of the room and check your reflection in the bronzed mirror, “You should get used to this.”

Ara giggles and snuggles into the soft bedding. You watch her through the mirror and smile at her behavior. She was still so young and you wish you could shelter her forever. You still worried about her marrying into the imperial family, but you felt a little better knowing that Imperial Princess Min seems to have warmed to her. “You need to thank his majesty at tonight’s banquet.” 

“Of course.” Your sister smiles and throws a soft goose feather pillow in the air, “I will make sure to thank him for his hospitality.”

-0-0-0-

Unfortunately, Emperor Min is not at the banquet that night. In fact, you were informed, for the next fourteen days he would not be attending any of the events Imperial Princess Min had scheduled.

You can tell the princess is upset. Her smile seems a little more strained and while she is able to handle everything as a hostess should, you can tell she is very stressed about whatever the emperor is currently handling. You have a strong suspicion it is related to Concubine Nam, but it is not your place to ask questions so you remain quiet. You do, however, try your best to help where you can, becoming a steadfast and loyal companion to her majesty, continuing to have meals with her whenever she requests and spending many afternoons in her pavilion with her. She would ask your opinions of the young ladies from the different households and tell you about what would be required of the empress consort. As the days moved along, the princess dismissed more and more of the potential brides for his majesty until only a handful were left. You were pleased that Ara seems to be the favorite.

You sit across from the Imperial Princess. She sent you a note at the morning meal requesting you to join her in her plum blossom garden this afternoon. You can tell the princess is upset. Her lips are pursed and her fingers are white as she grips her cup of tea tightly. You're afraid the delicate cup might crack. 

“Your majesty’s plum blossom garden is beautiful. It must be the most fragrant and lovely plum blossom garden in all of the empire.”

Imperial Princess Min gives you a soft smile. She dismisses the servants and they step back so they are out of hearing range, but close enough to see if her highness requires anything.

“Concubine Nam is with child.”

You are silent for a moment. You keep yourself composed and don’t dare show your thoughts on your face. Your mind is frantically trying to process what this means. How could this have happened? What does this mean for Ara? 

You swallow and gently speak, “Princess Min, please forgive this simple one for questioning, but I thought it was against the imperial law for a concubine to bear children?”

“It is.” Princess Min throws her tea cup on the ground in anger, two imperial maids rush over to clean up the shattered mess and prepare another cup of tea for her majesty. Once the servants step away, the Princess continues, “She stopped drinking the herbal tea the day my brother agreed to find a bride.”

“Will Concubine Nam be punished?” You don’t look at the princess when you ask, you focus on the full cup of tea in front of you.

“If she is punished, it won’t be until after she gives birth.” Princess Min takes a small bite of sweet cake, “The little bitch thinks the emperor will make her his empress consort.”

“Will he?” 

“No,” Princess Min gives you a reassuring smile, “He will choose someone most deserving.” Her eyes shift as she stares at you until you feel you have to look away. “He’s been diligently working on preparing everything for his chosen consort. That and this unfortunate incident with Concubine Nam has kept him busy.”

You feel relief to know that Concubine Nam’s schemes do not seem to be working. And from the knowing smile the princess gives you, you feel elated that Ara will definitely be chosen as the consort. “What of the child?”

“The child will be recognized as a prince of the kingdom, but not an heir. Only the Empress can provide an heir.” Princess Min still looks unhappy, “I hope this won’t affect things going forward.”

It almost sounds like a question, as if she’s asking you if it will affect things. But you know that can’t be. You release a breath you didn’t know you were holding. This news will be upsetting to Ara, but not all is lost. This can still be salvaged. She could still marry and become the empress. Her child will still be the rightful heir. “No, I’m sure my sister will love any child that his highness produces.”

“Oh, yes, of course your sister would.” Princess Min gives you a curious smile, her dark eyes shining as if she’s amused. She takes your free hand in hers, “I hope I can request your confidence in this matter.” She says and gives your hand an almost too tight squeeze, “This must not be told to anyone.”

“Of course,” You nod your head solemnly, “I won’t say a word.”

 -0-0-0-

The Emperor continues to absent himself from any events involving the possible consorts for the next several days. Even though it had yet to be announced, you knew he had already decided on an empress consort, therefore he did not need to attend any of the lavish events and parties his sister had scheduled. Though as the days progress and nothing more happens, you grow more and more concerned over Ara’s position until finally you are moved again to an even larger, more extravagant courtyard. 

The Mugunghwa Courtyard. 

The Mugunghwa Courtyard was reserved for the empress consort and is located directly next to the emperor’s private courtyard. The servants treat you and your sister like royalty, you are given the same respects the emperor and his sister are provided. Ara is enjoying the envious glares she receives from the other ladies and you allow her to enjoy her victory, but remind her to be polite and courteous to the servants because they will be her eyes and ears to what is happening in the other courtyards(including the harem).

Soon after you’re comfortably moved into the Mugunghwa Courtyard, the gifts begin arriving. Some days when you return to your rooms after the festivities, you find fresh Mugunghwa flowers on your bed. One morning you wake up and find a bottle of sweet perfumed oil. You know that it isn’t uncommon for a groom to bestow gifts upon his bride’s family, but you’re a little uncomfortable as the days progress and the gifts become more elaborate. Silk slippers, golden hairpieces, diamond necklaces… it’s all too much. Ara has also been receiving small gifts, flowers and oils. You don’t know why, but you don’t mention the jewelry or clothing to her. 

You continue to spend time with Imperial Princess Min, her personal servants would invite you, and only you, to have a private audience with her almost daily. Once, you asked her where the emperor was, as you had not seen him since breakfast almost a week ago. She had smiled at you as if you’d said the one thing she longed to hear, and informed you he’d been out of the palace. Taking care of business. But assures you that he would return soon. 

“If you would like, we can invite him to breakfast again.” She takes your arm and giggles, as if breakfast with her brother is against the rules. “But I might get jealous if my soon-to-be sister pays more attention to my brother than me.” 

Your heart soars at her words. This is practically confirmation that Ara will be chosen!

She keeps you updated on the goings on with Concubine Nam. The child is growing strong, and Concubine Nam has already started showing a small bump on her otherwise perfect body. While you never wish harm on anyone, you cannot hide your small sense of satisfaction when you're told that Concubine Nam is visibly distraught over the fact that the emperor has not once visited her since she collapsed.

You are still very concerned about Ara finding out about the pregnancy. You have kept your word and stayed silent on the matter, but you know Ara’s bubble of happiness will burst once she is made aware. You spend many of your days touring the multiple gardens of The Mugunghwa Courtyard in contemplation, trying to decide if you should tell Ara what is happening. 

You’re taking a leisurely stroll in the hibiscus garden when you suddenly feel like you’re being watched. This happens most days when you’re alone in the gardens, but no one is ever around so you dismiss it as your imagination. You startle when you hear the emperor’s deep voice call your name.

You spin around quickly and meet the burning gaze of the emperor. He’s dressed in his signature black robe, but this one is patterned with dark blue koi fish. His pale hair is pulled back in a low ponytail with a black headband across his forehead. Today he is wearing one long golden earring and a heavy golden choker around his throat. 

You briefly wonder if he would adorn his Empress in so much gold. 

“Your highness!” You immediately remember yourself and bow low.

You are still bent low and staring at the ground when you see a long black robe come into view. You feel a gentle finger under your chin and your head is tilted up until you’re standing again and staring directly up into the emperor’s perfect face.

He continues to stare at you, his eyes swirling with emotion. His finger moves from your chin to rub along your bottom lip and your eyes close involuntarily. He leans closer and you can smell the clean scent of his skin. You feel his breath on your lips…

The sound of a throat clearing jolts you. You snap your eyes open and immediately step away from the emperor’s personal space. Emperor Min is glaring heatedly at a eunuch who is standing several feet behind him. The eunuch looks apologetic, but you are grateful. 

“Your majesty, are you also here to tour the gardens?” You can feel your cheeks heat and you absentmindedly smooth out your dress. “The hibiscus garden is especially fragrant this time of year.”

His eyes are gentle when he looks at you. He gives you a soft smile, “No. I am here to see you.”

“Me? I do not know what I have done to deserve your attention. How can I help his majesty?”

Emperor Min’s voice is serious, “You deserve more than my attention. You deserve everything.”

You turn away from his penetrating gaze, focusing on a nearby flower, “Your highness has been very kind to me and my sister. I cannot thank you enough.”

“Do not thank me.” The emperor chuckles, “I am a king. I always have an ulterior motive.”

You realize he is most likely speaking of Ara. As Ara’s elder sister, you know you have the most influence over her and her opinions. He is trying to gain your favor so she will be more likely to accept his suit, but he must know that Ara is already in love with him. Princess Min would never keep that information from him.

“I have a gift for you.”

“Another gift?” You look up at his handsome face, “I couldn’t possibly accept anything else. You’ve been so generous already.” 

Faster than you can blink, his face is so close to yours, you can feel the brush of his lips as he speaks, his hand on your chin and eyes locked with yours. 

“I am the emperor. It is my divine right to give what I want, and to take what I want. Do you understand?” 

You blink and quickly lower your eyes, unable to bow your head, “Yes, your highness.” 

He moves away and you catch yourself before you can stumble from the suddenness of it all. 

“Eunuch Ki.” Emperor Min gestures and the eunuch steps forward holding a small wooden box, golden dragons painted on it. Eunuch Ki opens the box and you cannot stop your gasp when the contents are revealed. A beautifully hand carved jade bracelet is nestled within. You can see that your name is engraved in it along with the symbols of beauty and love. 

Emperor Min holds out his hand, waiting for you to give him yours. You place your hand in his and watch quietly as he gently pushes up the sleeve of your dress. His hand is so much larger than yours and you shiver when his thumb gently rubs along your wrist.

Eunuch Ki hands him the bracelet and he tenderly clasps it around your wrist. 

“Perfect.”

 You feel something inside you stir, “It’s lovely.” 

 “Not as lovely as the wrist it adorns,” he meets your eyes, “it becomes you.” 

You know you should pull away, part of you desperately wants to pull away. But he is the Emperor, and you know better. 

“Ara loves her gifts too!” You blurt out, trying desperately to control the way your heart is pounding. 

His face scrunches in thought and he tilts his head, “Ara… yes. Your sister. I’m glad she enjoys her gifts as well.” He raises your hand, flips it in his, and places a kiss on the inside of your wrist, lips brushing the cool jade beads. “Don’t take it off.” He commands, before leaving you alone once more. 

-0-0-0-

After that, you did not go into the gardens alone, always making sure Ara or Princess Min is with you. While you never did run into the Emperor in the gardens again, you still sometimes felt his burning gaze on you, but when you looked around, he was never there.

Today, you and Ara are staying in your own courtyard. You feel that both of you need a break from court. You know you certainly do. You have already had your morning meal in your rooms and were currently relaxing in one of the many drawing rooms. You smile as Ara pricks her finger again on her needlework. “Be careful Ara. A lady's hands should be soft and delicate.”

You can’t hide your laughter at the adorable glower she gives you. “Why do I have to do this? When I’m empress, I’ll have the royal seamstresses do this for me.”

“It’s a good skill to have and maybe your husband would want a personalized gift from you.”

Ara pouts but doesn’t say anything else. You sit in comfortable silence, her trying to embroider and you snacking on small sweet cakes. The days seem to be getting slightly cooler and you were appreciative. You didn’t know how long this consort selection was going to take, but you were already longing for home. You had written several letters to your father, letting him know of Ara’s progress and wanting to hear any news from home. You were hoping maybe your marriage to Lord Kim would be finalized, but unfortunately, there was no news about that. Your father seemed to avoid mentioning Lord Kim at all. As for Lord Kim himself, you sent him a few brief letters asking after his health and wellbeing, but had yet to receive a response. He was normally very quick to reply to your letters, but you brushed off his lack of response due to the fact that he must be very busy.

Your musings are interrupted by the arrival of several imperial servants and a finely dressed eunuch. They are carrying two large golden trunks and place them down in front of you and your sister. The eunuch steps forward and bows low.

“My ladies,” You recognize the eunuch as the emperor’s most trusted servant, Eunuch Ki, the one who was at his side in the hibiscus garden, “His Royal Highness would be most pleased if the mistresses would accept his gifts.”

You and Ara share a look and you quickly stand from the soft, golden sofa, “Thank you, Eunuch Ki. We are honored to receive gifts from his eminence.”

The large golden trunks are opened and you can hear Ara’s gasp of delight. The emperor has provided each of you a ceremonial dress made of fine, silk fabric and beautiful hair ornaments. Ara’s dress is a gorgeous light blue patterned with silver butterflies. The matching hair ornament is a hair pin styled in beautiful swirls of silver and jade, a single butterfly resting on top.  

Your dress is colored a rich gold and patterned with black mandarin ducks, diamonds line the long sleeves and train. The matching hair ornament is also a hair pin, but it looks to be solid gold with two mandarin ducks resting on top of a bed of orchids made out of diamonds. You hesitate at the pattern on the dress, unsure if this is a mistake. 

“If it pleases the mistresses, his highness requests you wear his gifts to the Grand Banquet tomorrow evening.”

“Of course, we would be delighted.” Ara beams at Eunuch Ki when you don’t respond right away, your eyes still focused on the pattern on your dress. 

“Eunuch Ki,” you follow him to the entrance of the drawing room, your voice quiet so others cannot overhear, “I feel there might be a mistake.” You gesture to your dress and your eyes flicker towards an oblivious Ara.

Eunuch Ki eyes you for a moment, his look is heavy and almost pitying, “The Emperor does not make mistakes.”

You swallow hard and nod at Eunuch Ki, closing the door behind him and turn to look at Ara. She’s already holding the dress up against herself and admiring it in the mirror. 

The Emperor might not make mistakes, but you were beginning to think you had. 

-0-0-0-

You slowly make your way towards the courtyard of the imperial princess. After Eunuch Ki had left last night, you received a summons from the Imperial Princess. She requested you to meet her for afternoon tea the following day before the grand banquet. 

This side of the palace was oddly quiet. You knew that everyone was preparing for the grand banquet, so all the activity would be much livelier near the grand banquet hall. You had yet to see that hall, apparently it was large enough to hold all the noble families of the kingdom comfortably. 

When you enter her private pavilion, Imperial Princess Min is reclining on a giant resting sofa, a servant girl fanning her. 

“Your highness.” You bow your head reverently and wait for her to receive you.

She smiles beautifully and sits up, her dark eyes shining beautifully, as she holds her hands out to you, “I’m so glad you are here.”

“Your Highness flatters me.” You go to her, smiling as you take her hands in your own before releasing them to gesture to the ornately carved tea table in the corner, “Afternoon tea?”

“Yes, we have much to discuss.” Princess Min stands up and elegantly makes her way to the table, you follow obediently behind her. Once you are both seated, Princess Min gestures for a servant to pour tea.

“Are you excited for tonight’s banquet?” Princess Min takes a sip of her tea, “I’m so very excited and the banquet isn’t even for me.”

“Of course, tonight is a grand occasion. It deserves to be celebrated properly.” You swallow a sip of tea and look around the beautiful pavilion. “Thank you so much for the hospitality you have shown my sister and I. Your kindness will never be forgotten.”

Princess Min smiles at you and chatters about the drama currently happening in the harem courtyard, Concubine Nam was still holding hope that Emperor Min would choose her as his bride, while the other concubines were furious over her blatant violation of the rules. You listen and chime in when necessary, indulging in Princess Min’s love for gossip. 

“What would you do with Concubine Nam and the harem?” Princess Min asks you, her voice curious, “How would you handle this entire scandal?”

“Well,” You ponder over her question for a moment. She had asked you similar questions before, but usually about how you would handle this political issue or that. Never one quite so close to home. You take another sip of tea, deciding how to answer without offending her, “an example would have to be made.”

“What kind of example?” Princess Min tilts her head slightly, her dark eyes swirling with something, “if you had the power, what would you do?”

“If I had the power?” You gesture for a servant to pour you another cup of tea and laugh softly, “If I had the power, my husband would not have a harem at all.”

Princess Min stares at you, her eyes practically glowing, “No harem? A normal man would not agree to your terms.”

You smile, “I will not marry just any man. I will marry a man solely devoted to me.”

The Princess giggles beautifully, “I love your way of thinking.”

“Well,” you giggle along with the princess, “My way of thinking isn’t something that is approved of. Luckily for his majesty, Ara will gladly allow him his harem.”

The princess quiets down and gestures for a servant to place a small, sweet cake on both of your plates. Her smile is sweet, “Tell me…”

“Hmm?” You tilt your head in question and take a small sip of tea.

Princess Min’s voice is light and soft, “when are you going to stop playing ignorant?”

You still completely, your stomach bubbling with dread. You keep your face calm and composed, but your heart is beating rapidly. After a brief silence, you question, “Pardon? Whatever do you mean?”

“You’re a very clever woman, it’s why I like you so much.” Her sweet smile never leaves her face, but her eyes are dark and cold. “You know exactly what I mean.” 

“No,” You keep your voice firm, “I do not know what you mean at all.”

Princess Min’s smile widens, but her dark eyes are unsettling, “Did you enjoy Imperial Brother’s latest gift?”

You slowly set your tea cup on the table, “His highness gives the most thoughtful gifts, we are forever in his debt.”

“You know, he chose the pattern and colors himself.”

“About that,” you lick your lips before continuing, “Eunuch Ki gave me the golden dress by mistake.”

“Oh you are good. For someone who claims they have no interest in court or politics, that is. Though you need a little more training before you sit in on a council.” The Princess takes a bite of cake, her eyes flashing, “I don’t recommend playing dumb with me, however.” 

“I don’t know what you could possibly mean.” 

The Princess ignores your remark, “Have you heard of my betrothed? Prince Regent Jung Hoseok. He’s the general of the Imperial Army.”

“Of course,” your mind frantically tries to understand where the connection is, “He has helped the emperor win many battles.”

“Did you know that he was betrothed before?”

You shake your head, but don’t reply. You have no idea what this discussion has to do with the emperor’s gifts, but you didn’t dare interrupt or question her.

“He grew up in the palace here with Imperial Brother and I. My father, the emperor at the time, practically raised him as one of his own. He was Imperial Brother’s companion and also to be his general in war. I had been in love with him since I was very young. He was all I ever wanted.” Princess Min Glances off into the distance, as if she’s reminiscing, “For his outstanding work as the General of the Imperial Army, my father gifted him a marriage to a nobleman’s daughter... Lord Tokko’s only daughter, Yeong.”

Lord Tokko’s name was vaguely familiar to you, you had heard your father mention him a few times. As for his daughter, you had never heard of this woman, but by the tone of Princess Min’s voice and the frown on her face, you know it was someone that the princess did not like.

“The Prince Regent agreed to the marriage, he actually cared for her, thought himself to be in love,” The princess scoffs and takes a small sip of tea, “It was not hard for me to get my father to agree to have Lady Yeong come to the palace to serve as a friend and companion for me.”

“She was one of the kindest, sweetest, young women I had ever met.” The Princess locks eyes with you, “So trusting that even as she lay dying, it never crossed her mind that I was the one that poisoned her.”

You're quiet for several moments, trying to gather your thoughts. Your voice is a little shaky when you finally ask, “Why are you telling me this?”

Princess Min ignores you once again, “We thought the sickness had skipped my brother. It usually only manifests itself in the women in my family, my grandmother had it too, you know?”

“What sickness?” You are growing more alarmed. The Princess was revealing information and secrets that you should not know and you did not understand her reasoning.

Again, Princess Min ignores you, continuing her story as if she were a player on stage and you the enraptured audience, “He never showed any symptoms, not a care in the world for anyone but himself. The closest he came was Concubine Nam, but nothing serious ever happened with her. He would never make her his consort, so I knew she wasn’t the one.”

“Imagine my elation when you finally arrived. You have turned out to be all we hoped for and more.” Princess Min smiles at you beautifully, her dark eyes shining almost manically, “The moment he saw you, your fate was sealed.”

Before today, having Princess Min’s confidence made you feel warm and welcomed. Now you only feel dread. 

“I.. I...” You lick your too dry lips and stumble over your words, your composure crumbling in the wake of the Imperial Princess’ confession, “I am to be married to Lord Kim. My father is working out the contracts.”

“Lord Kim?” The princess giggles, “My brother wanted to strip him and his family of their lands and titles, but I was able to talk him back from that.”

“I don’t understand.” You feel cold all over.

“Yes, you do.” The princess gestures and a maid comes forward holding a silver tray, the princess grabs the small bundle of letters and tosses them on the table, “You’re lucky that I was able to intercept these before Imperial Brother read them. If he knew you were writing to another man, he would have Lord Kim beheaded.”

You’re quiet, staring at the letters you wrote to Lord Kim asking after his health. The letters he never received. Too much was going through your mind. What about Ara?

“My father-”

“Your father has already agreed and I was able to have Imperial Brother gift a marriage to Lord Kim.”  Princess Min’s voice is pleasant, as if she's discussing the weather, “Your sister will be his bride.”

You stand abruptly from the table, your chair clattering to the floor behind you. You feel shaken and terrified. You knew something was off, but you were hoping, praying, you were wrong.

“Please excuse me, your majesty.” You step back from the table, your eyes slightly glassy, “I need to rest before tonight’s banquet.”

“Please, call me Ji-Soo…,” The princess smiles at you, her dark eyes are filled with what you now recognize as madness, the same look found in the emperor’s eyes when he looks at you, 

“..We’re family after all.”

-0-0-0-

When you arrive back at your courtyard, your mind is still struggling to comprehend what is happening. You rush past the servants and lock yourself in your room. You stare at the beautiful golden dress laid out on your bed, the diamonds twinkling as if mocking you. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Ara is supposed to be empress.

You slide to the floor, your back against the door. This wasn’t supposed to happen. You stare at the dress, but your mind isn’t focused on it. You’re trying to think, trying to plan. What are you supposed to do? You don’t even entertain the thought that your father will save you. You have no choice. Emperor Min holds all the power. 

You don’t realize that hours have passed with you staring blankly at the dress until the servants knock on your door. “My lady, we are here to prepare you for the banquet.”

“I don’t need help to prepare. Please leave me.”

“My lady,” The voice of the maid is trembling, fearful, “The emperor insists.”

You swallow and stand, your legs shaky. You open the door and stare at the servants, they are terrified. Terrified of the emperor, terrified of his displeasure. You realize that you and them are not so different. No one has a choice. Everyone is subject to Emperor Min’s whims.

“Where is Ara?”

“She has already been prepared for the banquet.” Several servants rush in carrying a large washing tub filled with steaming water. The water is fragrant and several flowers are flowing on the surface. 

You watch a large dressing screen being set up around the tub, several of the servants bow low to you before quickly leaving the room. You look at them questioningly and an older maid steps forward, “Forgive us, my lady. We are under strict instructions and not allowed to help you undress or bathe.”

“What? Why?”

The maid licks her lips and hangs several white undergarments over the dressing screen, “The emperor made a new decree that it is a crime punishable by death for anyone other than the emperor himself to view the empress consort’s nude body.” 

It’s a jarring experience to be referred to as the empress consort. 

“It- it is not official.” 

You want to scream at them that this is wrong. That you’re not even betrothed, that this isn’t supposed to be you. 

They won’t meet your eyes. 

The jade bracelet on your wrist slides, warm beads against cool skin, and that’s when you realize all the mistakes you have made. You can’t stop the heavy weight you feel in your chest. You can feel your lips begin to tremble and your eyes feel watery. You don’t want to cry, but you know you should because you have the horrible feeling that once you are announced as the chosen empress consort at the banquet, the emperor will not let you out of his sight. 

The maid smooths over any imaginary wrinkles in the undergarments and gives you a pitying look, “Please get dressed in these once you are finished and we will prepare you for the banquet.” 

You’re left alone and you robotically remove your dress and undergarments. The water is hot and relaxing and it soothes your frazzled nerves. You lean your head back against the washing tub, you can hear the maids quietly talking behind the dressing screen. Your mind is racing. You are a smart girl. Your father has always praised your brilliance and forward thinking and lamented over you not being born a boy. You could figure this out. You could find a way out. 

There is obviously something seriously wrong with the Imperial siblings. The Princess herself confessed to murdering a love rival and the emperor has never shown any sign of this alleged sickness until now. Concubine Nam is carrying his child. You’ve already told Princess Min about your distaste of the harem. You refuse to have a husband that continues to keep a harem of concubines. 

But you know, you know, you could not refuse the emperor’s suit. You did not have any choice in the matter. While this is not the outcome that you nor Ara want, you know that your father will be pleased. All men want is power. They do not care for who they hurt or how they use their children like pawns. Your father will be the father-in-law of the emperor, his position and power will be secured.

The water is cold when you finally decide to step out of the washing tub. You resolve yourself to your future. Being the Empress Consort is not the worst fate you can have, but you were fearful of your sister’s reaction. She will hate you. 

You slowly put on your undergarments and step out from behind the screen. The maids eagerly rush you over to the large dressing table and sit you down. You stare at your worn reflection in the large, ornate mirror. 

Several maids kneel at your sides, dipping your fingers and toes in a dark paste. Other maids rub scented lotion onto your arms and legs. You watch through your reflection as the older maid rearranges your hair into an intricate updo, her skilled hands working effortlessly.

Your voice is a little hoarse when you speak, but you clear your throat and look at the older maid, “Will you be my personal servant?”

“Of course,” The maid gives you a warm smile, “His highness chose me personally to care for his bride.”

You give her a strained smile in return, neither of you mention the fact that the emperor chose servants that would be loyal to him. It wasn’t uncommon for a bride to bring a handful of trusted servants with them to their new home, but these aren’t normal circumstances. You would truly be alone here. “May I know your name?”

“Unso.”

“Unso.” You say the name carefully, “Please take good care of me.”

“My absolute pleasure.” She beams and gestures to your hair, the golden hairpin shining on top. The hairstyle is extravagant and more beautiful than any you have ever worn. The other maids clean the dark paste off your fingers and toes, revealing the nails to be stained a pretty red. Another servant brings a small jar of white cream and rubs it onto your face. You sit still as makeup is applied to your face. Your lips are painted a dark red and your eyes are lined with kohl. A small, delicate mugunghwa flower is painted in red and black between your eyebrows.

You stand and the maids help you dress in the beautiful golden dress. They take their time making sure everything is perfect. When you are fully dressed, the servants all stand back and stare at their hard work.

“Mistress is the most beautiful!”

“The Emperor has chosen well!”

“Her beauty is unparalleled!”

“An absolute vision!”

“His highness will be most pleased!”

The praises are interrupted by Eunuch Ki. He gives you a once over before nodding to Unso, “Excellent. Make sure everything is prepared as instructed.”

Unso nods her head and steps back.

“My lady,” Eunuch Ki bows low to you, “Please allow me to escort you to the banquet hall.”

You look around nervously, “But Ara-” 

“Your sister is already at the banquet.”

“I see.” You nod your head realizing you don’t have a choice, “I would be honored for Eunuch Ki to escort me.”

He gives you another low bow and turns to lead the way out of your rooms. Unso gives you an encouraging smile and you nod your head in return. Eunuch Ki leads you out of your courtyard to an extravagant imperial carriage. From the design and brilliance, you can tell that this is the emperor’s personal carriage. 

The ride to the grand banquet hall is quiet. You’re positive that you’re shaking in your seat. Eunuch Ki is watching you, but he doesn’t comment on your nerves. The carriage comes to a stop and the door is opened by an imperial guard. Eunuch Ki steps down first. You follow slowly behind him, all the servants and guards bowing in your presence. 

The long walk to the banquet hall seems to last seconds. You can feel sweat beading on your forehead and you are distractedly worried that all the servants' hard work on your face paint will come undone.  The closer you get to the hall, the louder the music and laughter from inside becomes. You can hear that it is a grand celebration and you worry for a moment that you are late. 

Eunuch Ki stops several feet away from the double doors. He gives you a sad smile and leans close to you, “An empress does not show fear. An empress does not show despair.”

You nod your head in understanding, straighten your back and hold your head high. You can feel your heart beating out of your chest; the expectations of the kingdom weighing on your shoulders. You can feel the sinking feeling in your stomach that Ara will never forgive you. You desperately hope she can understand. 

You do not have a choice. 

“Please open the doors.”

The large golden doors are heavy, requiring several servants to push them open. A loud chime is heard from the inside of the room. Eunuch Ki steps forward and announces your arrival, but you cannot hear him over the sound of the blood rushing through your ears. 

You step forward and you can feel all eyes are on you, but the only eyes you can focus on are the emperor’s. Dark, calculating, mad. He’s not dressed in his customary black, but gold. His ceremonial robes are a bright gold patterned with black mandarin ducks, matching yours. His long hair is unbound, a glittering crown is placed upon his brow. He is the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. 

The room is so quiet you can hear a pin drop. You take several slow steps into the room and make your way towards the emperor. Before you reach him, Princess Min steps forward, a handsome man you recognize as Prince Regent Jung Hoseok at her side. The couple is dressed in matching colors. Royal blue and patterned with silver bats. Princess Min leans close to you and kisses both your cheeks. She pauses to whisper a quiet, “Good Girl,” that only you can hear. Prince Regent Jung gives you a low bow.

You bow in return to the Princess and her betrothed. The room is still deathly quiet. When you finally reach the emperor, he stares at you as if you are the only thing he has ever wanted. You prepare to bow, but Emperor Min stops you, “From this moment forward, you bow to no one.”

You swallow and nod your head. Emperor Min continues staring at you, his eyes swirling with equal parts happiness and madness. Eunuch Ki steps forward holding a golden goblet. You stare at the goblet and then look at the emperor in horror. This isn’t right. You realize quickly that this is no ordinary celebration banquet. 

This is a wedding. 

You quickly look away, desperately searching for Ara. Slim fingers grip your chin tightly, you can feel the cold metal of his rings pressing into your skin. Your face is turned back to the Emperor.

“Who is the king?” His voice is quiet, but firm, “Who is the boss?”

You stare into his cold eyes. He knows he has you trapped and he knows there is nothing you can do. While you want to believe that you had reconciled yourself with your fate, you had truly hoped that you had more time to find a way out. But there is no way out.

After a few moments, you nod your head in understanding and open your mouth to accept a drink from the goblet. Emperor Min takes the goblet from Eunuch Ki and holds it to your lips. His smile is gentle, but his eyes are filled with triumph as you drink.

The rice wine is sweet but you barely taste it. You swallow a large gulp and lick your lips. The emperor’s eyes darken as he watches you and his smile widens. He gently places the goblet into your hands and you carefully hold it up to his lips. He takes several large gulps, but never breaks eye contact with you. 

Eunuch Ki grabs the goblet from you and before you know what is happening, you’re in the emperor’s embrace. One of his hands cup the back of your head as the other holds you tightly by the waist, “Finally, you’re mine.”

His kiss catches you off guard and you close your eyes involuntarily. You know that kissing is improper for a wedding ceremony and should only be done in private, but no one would dare question the emperor. His lips are soft and taste of the rice wine you just drank. When his tongue gently coaxes your lips open, you do not resist. Your fingers grip his shoulders and you cannot stop yourself from melting into him. 

When he finally releases you, you steady yourself against him. You’re in a daze as the emperor leads you to the royal table. You stand quietly at his side as he raises a glass of wine in a toast, “To my new bride, your new empress!”

The hall is filled with thunderous applause and cheering. Your moves are robotic as the emperor instructs you to sit next to him. He fills your plate with all your favorite delicacies and pours you a cup of tea. The musicians start playing music again and the murmur of conversations start up around you. You glance around the hall and realize that all the eligible young ladies that were prospective consorts are wearing matching dresses. Light blue and patterned with butterflies. The same dress that Ara was gifted.

You look around for Ara and you find her seated between your father and Lord Kim. Your father and Lord Kim seem to be in a serious conversation. Ara looks calm and composed, but her eyes betray her. You can see her unhappiness and your heart aches. 

“Beloved,” You’re jolted by the emperor’s deep, somber voice, “Don’t worry about your sister. She will be taken care of. Lord Kim will make her happy.”

It takes you a moment to respond, but you do so quietly, “My sister’s only happiness will always be with the emperor.”

The emperor glances in the direction of your sister and then turns back to you, his smile is sweet, “You are a good sister, but it’s time you put your happiness first.”

You’re puzzled, “My happiness?”

“Your happiness.” Emperor Min kisses your lips softly, “To be my bride. To be my queen. To be mine.”

You stare at him incredulously, and realize he truly believes that you are happy being his bride. He really thinks you wanted this and were only holding yourself back for Ara’s sake. Princess Min gives you a knowing smile from across the table. You sit in a daze as the night progresses. The emperor would let no other serve you, but himself, constantly refilling your plate and cup.

You can feel the angry glare of Concubine Nam on you from across the hall and when you finally meet her gaze, you're startled to realize that she’s also wearing the same light blue dress, patterned with silver butterflies, that Ara was gifted. In fact, all the concubines are dressed this way.

Concubine Nam’s face is fuller and glowing beautifully. Her soft, demure persona would be more believable if her eyes weren’t filled with hatred. You’re secretly pleased that her plan to trap the emperor has failed. If she was smart, she would try to gain favor with you, but instead she will most likely plot to poison you. You give her a small nod of acknowledgement and she sneers in return before turning away. 

The night drags on and you're exhausted from trying to keep a happy facade. You catch your shoulders drooping more often than not, and even feel yourself lean against the emperor a time or two. 

When it is finally time to receive congratulations from the representatives from the noble families, you stay quiet at the emperor’s side. You smile when needed and murmur thanks when prompted. Everything feels unreal.  

When your family steps forward, you try to catch Ara’s eyes. She nods her head at Princess Min and bows low to you, “Your highness, many happy wishes on your marriage. May the gods bless you with healthy sons.”

Her voice is cold and you can see the hatred in her eyes. You grab her hand, “Ara please, you must understand.”

“Understand that my sister is a liar?” Ara raises her voice and pulls away from you, “Understand that she is a snake who planned this?!”

“Ara, no.” Your voice cracks and you can feel tears brimming in your eyes, your exhaustion and stress finally catching up to you, “You are my most beloved sister. I would never-”

“And yet, here you are.” Ara’s voice is mocking, “Empress.”

The scene your sister is making draws the attention of your father and Emperor Min, who were in the middle of a quiet conversation near you. Even Princess Min is frowning from where she is seated, obviously hearing the raise of Ara’s voice. 

“Enough.” The emperor’s voice is cold as he glares furiously at Ara, “You dare to show disrespect to your empress?”

“She tricked you! Can’t you see she tricked you?!” Ara ignores the dangerous aura surrounding Emperor Min, “It was supposed to be me! I am supposed to be your queen. I love y-”

“Guards. Detain her. Disrespect to the empress is punishable by death.”

You can see the fear on Ara’s face, she backs away quickly, but the guards grab her. Your father looks alarmed and even Lord Kim looks fearful for your sister’s life. You look at the emperor and grip his arm tightly, “Please, please do not punish her. She doesn’t know what she’s saying.”

“She dared to disrespect you. She doesn’t deserve to live.”

“Please,” You beg him, you look at Ara’s fearful face and close your eyes in dismay, you know she will hate you even more after this. You firm your resolve and open your eyes, “She’s only a child.”

You press yourself against the emperor, “She’s harmless. She knows that what we have is real. She knows that you love me. She’s only jealous.”

The emperor’s eyes soften as he stares at you. “And you? Do you love me?”

You glance at your sister, an apology in your eyes, before wrapping your arms around Emperor Min, “I love you. Only you.”

He kisses you deeply and waves away the guards. Once he breaks the kiss, you feel yourself sag against him in relief as Ara is released and your father ushers her away. You can feel Lord Kim staring at you and when you finally meet his gaze, you're taken aback by the devastation in his eyes.

His eyes flicker between you and the emperor before he turns around and follows after your father. You stare after him but the emperor blocks your view. You look up and meet his eyes.

“Your eyes are only meant for me. No one else.”

You nod your head, but don’t say a word. Emperor Min continues to stare at you for a moment longer, before he presses a soft kiss to your forehead. 

“Eunuch Ki.” 

Eunuch Ki suddenly appears at the Emperor’s side ready and willing to do whatever is asked of him and gives a low bow, “Your majesty.”

“Take my bride to rest.”

“At once, your grace.” Eunuch Ki gestures for you to follow him and you do so without another word. Once the heavy golden doors close behind you, you finally let the tears fall from your eyes. You cry silently on the long carriage ride back to the other side of the palace. Eunuch Ki looks uncomfortable and like he wishes to offer words of comfort, but has no idea what to say. 

You go to rub your eyes with the sleeve of your dress, but Eunuch Ki stops you and hands you a soft cloth, “Forgive me your highness, but your dress must be preserved for the royal archives, you must not dirty it.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” You give a sad hiccup laugh and look out the carriage window. You realize quickly that you are not headed to the Mugunghwa Courtyard, but to the Emperor’s private courtyard. 

“I thought the Emperor wanted me to rest.”

Eunuch Ki gives you a look, but doesn’t respond. When the carriage rolls to a stop, Unso is there to help you down from the carriage. If she sees the distress on your face, she doesn’t comment on it. She gives you a low bow and leads you into the Emperor’s lair.

His private courtyard and rooms are enormous. Everything is draped in silks of black and gold. When you finally reach the Emperor’s private chambers, you’re astounded. His bedroom has the largest canopy bed you have ever seen, covered in a mountain of pillows. There is a large wooden desk in one corner of the room surrounded with several shelves filled with scrolls. There’s two separate golden resting sofas, each larger than you have ever seen and even a large dressing table with a mirror, obviously for a woman to use. There are also large double doors leading out to a small, private hot spring.

You watch Unso bustle around the room, preparing things and beckoning you over to the dressing table. “Your highness, let me help you remove your makeup.”

You sit quietly at the table and let Unso gently wash your face. You watch her put a special cream under your eyes to bring down the puffiness from your tears. She takes her time undoing your hair and leaving it unbound. You meet her eyes in the reflection of the mirror, “How many women has he bedded here?”

She looks puzzled at your question, “His majesty has never brought any woman here.”

“Concubine Nam?”

“Never.” Unso’s voice is resolute, “His majesty has never brought any woman, harem or no, here. These are his private chambers.”

“I see.” You don’t know if she’s lying to you, but if she is, you appreciate it. You feel slightly better knowing you are the only woman to ever sleep in his chambers.

Unso opens a chest and pulls out a black silk robe embroidered with red mugunghwa flowers and lays it over the top of the dressing screen in the corner of the room, “Your highness, you should remove your clothes and put this on. I’ll make you some tea and then you can lay down and rest.”

You slowly make your way behind the dressing screen and painstakingly remove your wedding dress. You leave it in a heap on the floor along with your undergarments. You know there is no point in wearing them and while you are nervous and a little scared, you know the consummation is inevitable. 

You put the silk robe on, and gently tie the sash around your waist. When you step around the dressing screen, Unso has already prepared the bed by removing many of the pillows and replacing the black silk sheets with a soft, white one. The white sheet shines ominously in the low light of the lanterns. 

“Your highness, have some tea to soothe your nerves.” Unso has brewed some fresh tea, but the scent is different than any you have had before. You sit stiffly on the edge of the newly made bed and take a small sip of tea. The taste is slightly bitter, but soon you feel yourself relaxing. 

“What type of tea is this?” You ask as Unso refills your cup and urges you to drink more.

She pats your head and gives you a warm smile, “Don’t worry. It was requested by his highness to help improve your health.”

You nod and don’t question her. You assume it’s similar to what the harem drinks to prevent pregnancy. The emperor is still young and with the drama that Concubine Nam has caused, you doubt children were on his mind. Before you know it, you’ve finished the entire pot. 

Unso helps tuck you in bed, and turns down all the lanterns. The only light in the room is that from the moonlight seeping in through the heavy curtains. You can barely keep your eyes open and the last thing you hear before you drift asleep is Unso’s quiet words, “Rest well, your majesty. You will need it.”

-0-0-0-

You’re awoken by a soft noise. You sit up and look around but don’t notice anything out of place. You’re still alone in the emperor’s bed. You see a faint glow under a previously unnoticed door in the far corner near his large desk. 

You get out of bed and make your way to the door. It opens soundlessly and a large staircase is revealed. You slowly make your way up the staircase, being careful not to make a sound. At the top of the staircase is a large room. It looks like an artist’s studio. Numerous canvases line the walls, charcoals and paints scattered over several large wooden tables stationed through the room. 

You see half finished portraits of Princess Min and a few of the previous emperors. You step into the room, careful not to disturb the artwork. There are some more paintings of several gardens and fountains that inhabit the palace grounds. In the corner of the room there is a beautiful hand carved desk, slightly smaller than the large tables, covered with more artwork. When you get closer you realize the paintings and sketches are all of you. You in the dress you wore the first night you arrived, you smiling in Princess Min’s private pavilion, you taking a walk in one of the private gardens, you asleep in your private rooms. Hundreds of paintings and drawings of you. 

You see another canvas underneath, it's slightly worn with frayed edges as if it’s been touched frequently. When you pull it out you see it's a painting of you, but this one you recognize. Two summers ago your father had you and your sister sit for a family portrait. The artist was impeccable and it was one of the most accurate paintings you had ever seen of yourself, it was almost like looking in the mirror. You see that the painting is torn, your sister and father removed from the portrait.

“You’ve found my sanctuary.”

You startle at the emperor’s voice and drop the canvas as if you’ve been burned. He’s standing at the entrance of the room, he’s no longer dressed in the golden robe, but now his signature black. It’s tied loosely, so the smooth pale skin of his chest is visible. His blond hair is loose and his crown is gone. 

“You’re quite the artist.” You gesture around the room, “but I notice there is no artwork of your concubines, of your beloved Concubine Nam.”

The emperor glances around, taking in his artwork as he steps further into the room, “Are you jealous of In-Suk?”

You frown at the use of her first name, but do not deny his accusation, “I do not like the thought of my husband bedding other women.”

“There are no other women.” Emperor Min slowly makes his way over to you, “You’re the only one that matters.”

You glance back at the desk littered with portraits of you, your eyes stopping on the torn family portrait, “How long have I been the only one that matters?”

He smiles, “Does it matter?”

“Yes.” You keep your voice calm and composed, “It matters to me.”

Emperor Min stands close to you, his fingers trailing over the artwork on the desk, “I had no interest in marriage. Lords and other noblemen constantly throwing their daughters at me. Your father is no different. Going on and on about Ara and how wonderful and virtuous she is.” He smiles wryly, “I finally got him to shut up by feigning interest.”

The emperor gently picks up the torn family portrait, “Imagine my surprise when he brings me this. A beautiful family portrait. I ask him about you and he immediately tells me about what a beautiful and doting older sister you are to Ara. How ever since your mother died, you have helped raise her. How you love her more than anything.”

He sets the portrait down and grabs your hands, gently turning you to face him, “I knew then that you would sacrifice everything for your beloved sister. I also knew that I needed to get you into the palace. Once you were here, you could not deny me.”

“But I was supposed to marry Lord-”

“Never say his name again.” Emperor’s Min’s voice is hard, leaving no room for discussion, “I am your husband. He is nothing.”

“Of course,” Your voice is quiet, you hesitate for a moment before you continue your questioning, “But… but Princess Min set up the consort selection. She told me she had to practically beg you to agree.”

“My beloved wife.” Emperor Min cups your face affectionately, his previous sour mood at the mention of Lord Kim completely gone, “You’re too trusting. She poisoned her companion, do you really think she would not lie to help her brother?”

“But Ara-”

“Ara will forgive you.” He presses a soft kiss against your lips, “Or she won’t. It does not matter.”

“But-”

“Is it really so bad being Empress?” Emperor Min presses another kiss to your lips, his fingers tangle in your unbound hair, “Being Mother to the country?”

“No-no, I am grateful to your majesty.” You shiver at his touch, grasping his shoulders as he presses himself against you.

“Yoongi.” He places more kisses down your lips and chin, “Call me Yoongi.”

“Yoongi!” You gasp when he softly bites your neck.

You feel him reach behind you and push everything off the large desk, the sound of canvases and painting supplies hitting the floor echoes throughout the room. Yoongi picks you up and sits you on the large desk, his lips never leaving your skin.

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted.” His mouth is muffled by the skin of your neck, his lips and tongue trail lower. You feel hot all over and cannot help but shiver when his hand yanks the collar of your robe down your shoulder. “My beautiful queen.”

Your fingers clutch at the silk fabric of his robe, holding him closer to you. You don’t stop him when he undoes your robe, his hot fingers trailing down the skin of your abdomen. “Beloved, will you show me?”

You wordlessly lean back, letting the open robe slip down your arms, baring your nude body to his view. His eyes are burning as he drinks you in. “Absolutely Exquisite.”

Yoongi leans over you, pressing himself between your thighs, and kisses you deeply. His tongue licks into your mouth with desperation. His hands are shaking as he grips your hips, and you quickly free yourself from the sleeves of your robe.

He breaks the kiss to trail his mouth down your neck and chest, his hot tongue swirls around your exposed breast before suckling the nipple. You can’t stop your moan, your whole body jerks at the feeling. “Y-Yoongi!”

“Say it again.” Yoongi’s voice is filled with desperation as he kisses down your ribs, “Say my name again.”

“Yoongi.” You whisper and your stomach clenches when he kisses lower, his wet tongue trailing over your abdomen. You’re so aroused, you can feel your wetness coating your thighs, but you can’t bring yourself to be embarrassed. 

“I have never seen a more beautiful woman.” Yoongi presses a soft kiss below your belly button, “The country has never had a more beautiful empress.”

“Your highness flatters me.”

“No.” Yoongi’s firm voice startles you and when you meet his eyes, they are burning with madness, “This emperor loves you. Only you.”

You shiver at the look in his eyes and nod your head in return, “Yes. Of course.”

Yoongi presses another kiss to your abdomen, his large hands gripping your thighs as he stares at you, “Will you deny your king?”

“Never.”

The smile he gives you is equal parts beautiful and dangerous, his dark, dark eyes overflowing with adoration for you, “Good girl.”

Your breath catches when he spreads your thighs apart and leans forward, his mouth inches away from your wet, pulsing cunt. “I wonder if you taste as succulent as you smell.”

You feel your pussy throb at his words and you lean your head back against the desk, your eyes closing in anticipation. You find his crude words more arousing than you ever thought possible. Your heart is beating so fast and you can feel sweat beading on your forehead. While you have never been intimate with a man, you were no stranger to self pleasure. You just never imagined your first experience with a man would be the emperor of the entire nation between your thighs, waiting to pleasure you. The heady rush of excitement is making you dizzy.

You tense when Yoongi presses the flat of his tongue against your juicy pussy. His tongue is hot as it licks a slow stripe up to your clit and you both release a throaty groan when he sucks your clit into his mouth.

You don’t realize you’re holding your breath until you get light headed from lack of oxygen. You're shivering all over and you feel a tight pressure in your stomach. Your entire body is tuned to Yoongi’s mouth, every lick and suck of his tongue has you soaring. 

“Better.” He whispers between licks of your swollen clit, his fingers shaking as he holds your thighs apart, “You taste so much better than anything I’ve ever had before.” 

You press your hand into your mouth to bite down on, trying to muffle your moans. Your other hand scrambles for something to hold onto before tangling in his long, soft hair. 

You press your heel into his back, but if Yoongi is bothered, he does not show it. He’s completely focused on devouring you. You bite your hand hard to cover your squeal when his hot fingers gently probe your cunt. He reaches up to pull your hand out of your mouth, his fingers gently stroking your wrist around the jade bracelet, “Do not dare hide your pleasure from me.”

He places your hand on his head, near your other hand already grasping his hair, and encourages you to use him as you please. A long, thick finger slips inside you and you cannot stop yourself from clamping down, your hips automatically rolling up into his face. 

“That’s it, my beautiful girl,” Yoongi continues to flick your clit with his tongue, “Ride my face.”

Your fingers grasp his head, holding his mouth against your aching cunt. You’re throbbing and dripping and you know you are going to come soon. You can feel the release building deep inside you. Yoongi presses another finger into your dripping hole and you can feel yourself trembling. He’s completely focused on you and your pleasure, his mouth working nonstop to help you reach your peak. 

You sit up slightly and meet his dark gaze, his eyes are brimming with satisfaction. You grip his hair hard and press his face against your dripping cunt. You’re so close you’re practically vibrating with pleasure. 

He twists his fingers and you're coming. You release a soundless gasp and can’t stop yourself from gushing all over his fingers. Yoongi moans at the taste of you, his mouth eagerly trying to swallow every drop of your release. You collapse on the desk, your orgasm still thrumming through your body. 

You barely catch your breath when he’s hovering over you, your release glistening on his lips and chin. He kisses you deeply, making sure you can taste yourself on his tongue. You can feel his body trembling as he undoes his robe and you cannot figure out if he’s nervous or excited, or a combination of both.

He breaks the kiss to look at you and your stomach flutters at his gaze, so full of yearning and affection, you’re no longer sure why you ever thought about denying him. You hadn't even realized something was missing from your life, he was missing from your life, until this moment. You weren't just doing this out of a sense of duty. Because you were his wife. Because he was your husband. You wanted this. Desperately. More than you’d wanted anything up until this moment. 

Full of your realization, you push his robe off his shoulders and spread your legs wider, allowing him to press himself completely against you. He’s hot and hard, pulsing between your thighs. You shiver at the feel of him, your sticky cunt still dripping from your orgasm. You look at him, his cheeks flushed pink, his forehead and chest slightly sweaty, his hair a tangled mess. His scar looks less intimidating in the low light of the lanterns.

“You love me?” You don’t realize you have said the words out loud until he stares at you, his dark, dark eyes burning.

“More than anything.” 

It’s intoxicating knowing you have this beautiful man confessing his love to you. He is the most powerful man in the entire world and he loves you more than anything. You can’t help the ugly feelings of jealousy bubbling in your stomach, knowing other women have seen him undone like this. Knowing that Concubine Nam has had him like this is unacceptable. 

“I want them gone.” You shift forward slightly, the head of his thick cock catching on your entrance. You feel so hot between your legs, your cunt aching to be spread open by him. 

“Who?” He sounds confused, distracted. His whole body is trembling, holding himself back from thrusting up into you.

“Your whores.” You roll your hips and feel him sink a few inches inside you, you hold your breath and try not to tense up at the intrusion. “I will not have a husband that has a harem. I want them all gone, especially that bitch Nam. I can’t stand the thought of anyone else seeing you like this.”

“Yes,” You feel more than hear him gasp, his forehead pressing against your shoulder, “Anything you want.

“You’re mine.” 

Your whispered declaration causes something inside of him to snap. You’re unprepared when he pushes completely inside of you. The burning stretch of his thick, heavy cock leaves your breathless. He groans into your chest, barely giving you a moment to adjust before he’s thrusting in and out. Every roll of his hips has you clenching around him. His lips press soft kisses into your skin between pants of yesyesyes and all yours. You’re soaked and shaking, your fingers clutch his shoulders, trying to anchor him against you. He’s so thick and so large, you swear you can feel him in your stomach.

“My Empress, My Goddess,” Yoongi whispers reverently into your skin, “I will give you everything.”

“Yes,” You press yourself closer to him, ignoring the feel of his ringed fingers bruising your hips, “All I want is you.”

Every thrust of his hips brings you closer to the edge. You’re quivering around him, so close you can almost taste it. You shudder when he releases your hip, his fingers gently rubbing your swollen clit, causing you to pulse around him. “That’s it, my beloved girl. Come for me.”

Yoongi softly pinches your clit and you explode. His tongue licks up your throat, his mouth swallowing your quiet cries of pleasure. You clench down and feel him gasp against you, his body shuddering uncontrollably. The pulse of his cock inside you floods you with warmth.

You close your eyes and hold him against you, trying to catch your breath. Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest. You slowly run your fingers through his hair and smile when you realize he’s still buried inside you.

He sits up and stares at you. You can see your reflection in his dark eyes. Your hair is disheveled and your lips are swollen. You can see your eyes are hazy with pleasure and several love bites adorn your neck and shoulders.

“My beloved bride.” Yoongi smiles at you affectionately, his fingers gently brush your hair back from your sweaty forehead, “I will never let you go.”

-0-0-0-

When you awaken you’re alone in the emperor’s bed, his side is cool, as if he’s been gone for hours. You’re sore all over, your husband spent most of the night inside of you, making you come over and over again until the early morning light.

You wrap the wrinkled white sheet around you and stand on shaky legs. You slowly make your way to the door and call for Unso. She appears immediately, almost as if she was waiting for you.

She helps you sit at the dressing table and goes about opening the curtains. Based on the sunlight entering the room, you can tell it is already early afternoon. Several maids clear the used bedding from the bed, and replace the sheets with clean silk ones. 

“Where is the emperor?” 

“His majesty wanted his bride to get enough rest, he would not let anyone disturb your highness.” Unso ignores your question and pulls a black dress patterned with golden dragons from the wardrobe. She hangs it over the silk dressing screen along with several undergarments.

You watch her through the mirror as she orders servants to prepare bath water for you. You can tell that something is amiss by the way Unso will not meet your eyes and the maids scurry about as if they are terrified of you.

“Your highness,” A younger maid bows low and holds out a fresh cup of tea, “your tea?”

You take the cup from the trembling maid, it’s the same bitter tea from the night before. You take a small sip, “Unso, where is my husband?”

“Your majesty, you must drink your tea, it is good for your health.” Unso comes out from behind the dressing screen, “Come take your bath, it will soothe your sore muscles.”

“No,” You set the mostly full cup of tea on the dressing table and stand up, “Bring me my robe.”

“Your majesty, you cannot go out in only your robe!” Unso’s voice is shocked. “It is improper!”

“Fine,” You make your way behind the dressing screen and put on your undergarments, “You will help me dress and then you will take me to my husband.”

Unso and several maids help you put on the stunning black dress. You’re ushered to the dressing table where you are adorned in diamond jewelry. Unso styles your hair with a jeweled dragon hairpin. Lotions and creams are rubbed into your face, neck and arms. 

Once you are deemed presentable, you follow Unso and several servant girls to the throne room. When you reach the large doors, Eunuch Ki looks alarmed to see you and quickly bows low, “Y-your highness! What are you doing here?”

 “Eunuch Ki,” You nod your head in greeting, “I came to see my husband.”

“I see,” Eunuch Ki shares an undecipherable look with Unso, “His majesty is conducting important business, he has asked me to inform you that he will join you in his rooms later for the evening meal.”

“Open the doors.”

“Please your majesty, you need to rest.” Eunuch Ki tries to placate you, “Let me take you back to the emperor’s courtyard or even to see Princess Min.”

“Open the doors. Now.”

Eunuch Ki looks helplessly at Unso before nodding his head. The guards slowly push the heavy doors open.

The smell is the first thing that hits you. The thick coppery scent of blood. You slowly step into the room and gasp in horror. The floors and walls are covered in blood. It looks like an entire massacre took place here. You walk further into the room and ignore the way the blood soaks into your silk slippers, seeping between your toes.

Eunuch Ki follows quietly behind you. There are several servants scrubbing the floors and walls, trying to remove the pools of blood around the room. You ignore them all, your eyes are completely focused on the emperor. He’s staring at a small golden box in his hand. A bloody sword rests near his feet. 

“Yoongi.” You whisper the words quietly, but his head snaps up immediately, his eyes focusing on you. 

“Beloved.” His eyes light up when he sees you, a beautiful smile spreading across his face. He rushes eagerly towards you. You realize he’s wearing a black robe, patterned with golden dragons, the same design as your dress. The only difference is his robe is stained with fresh blood. His hair is pulled up into a topknot, his black headband in place. Small drops of blood stain his cheeks and neck. He presses the golden box into Eunuch Ki’s hands before cupping your face, his fingers still wet with blood.

“My beautiful bride,” His voice is light, happy, “everything is perfect now that you are here.”

“Perfect?” You whisper and let him take your hands, leading you towards his throne. The golden dragon throne looks intimidating in the blood soaked room. The closer you get to the throne, the stronger the scent of blood becomes. You feel light headed, your stomach churning at the smells permeating the air.

“I.. I need to sit down.”

Yoongi looks at you concerned and immediately has you sit on his throne, “Are you alright, my love? Do you need some tea?”

“No,” You sit quietly. You feel sick, you feel sweaty, you can barely catch your breath, “I just need a moment.”

You close your eyes trying to center yourself. You know something terrible happened here, there is so much blood it looks like a battlefield. You're grateful that the bodies have already been removed, you don't know how you would have handled a room full of corpses. You take a few deep breaths and open your eyes, meeting Yoongi's bright gaze.  

“I have a gift for you.” Yoongi takes the golden box from Eunuch Ki, “I wanted to surprise you with it this evening, but you are here now. My beautiful girl.”

You stare at the golden box stained with blood. You take it from Yoongi with trembling hands. Yoongi is vibrating with excitement next to you. You can feel the pressure behind your eyes signaling that you are about to cry. You blink repeatedly, holding back your tears.  

You slowly open the box and stare at the contents. Yoongi holds your hands around the golden box, making sure you can’t drop it. You swallow the scream bubbling in your throat and meet his eyes. Dark, crazed, unhinged eyes overflowing with love for you. Love and madness.

You look back at your gift. Dead, lifeless eyes stare back at you. Concubine Nam’s eyes. Yoongi kneels obediently at your feet, soaking his robe in more blood. Blood from Concubine Nam. Blood from the rest of the harem. 

You can’t stop the tears from dripping down your cheeks. 

“They are all gone. Just like you asked.” Yoongi stares at you with reverence, his eyes sparkling, “I told you I would do anything for you.”