#(that she's not that bad because she donated millions to other charities)

[isjkrowlingdeadnow]

10/05/24

No

[drefear]

Hail to the King

Chapter 2: It All Comes Back to You

Summary: Miguel O’Hara is the head of the biggest mafia family in Nueva York, scaring almost all of its citizens. Except you. And that’s exactly what he needs. 

Tw: masturbating (male) hints of trauma and past abusive relationship, drinking, a lil more of possessive and creepy Miguel. 

AN: I have to say I feel like some of this might be kinda shitty because it was a bit rushed, but I also hate slow paced plots, so I guess I can’t help it. Hope you like it!

You.

The world was blurry as your eyes lost focus for a bit. Nothing seemed real. You thought you might wake up and everything would be normal again. No crazy mob bosses, no blow jobs in the office, no scheduled sex, none of it.

Who the fuck was this guy?

His life was so far from any type of common man’s that you were almost impressed. Fine pressed designer suits, women on their knees during his lunch break, meetings about hard drugs. For a building so beautifully kept and full of charming people, it sure was a mystery. Was everyone just sleeping with different people throughout the day? Were they also snorting lines off of the bathroom counter or cooking meth in the kitchen? What other dirty deeds were done in this place?

Lyla knocked on your door, saying something about setting up your new phone and calendar.

“And the blue events in the calendar are strictly private for Miguel.” She added, to which you saw that- yep. That meeting was blue. You mentally slapped yourself in the face and listened to the rest of what she had to say.

“Ok, that should be it. Your new phone is set up, and it also has the company card connected to it already, so you don’t need a physical card. Miguel set me a message about your shopping spree later, but I raised the budget he gave you to an extra ten thousand. Just in case ya really need something that might cross that line. And whatever you get, I do the paperwork so I’ll just write it up as an investment, like our donations to charity.” She shrugged and turned, blowing you a little kiss as she exited the room.

Your mind assaulted your conscious thoughts once she was gone, remembering how he looked only thirty minutes ago. Head back in ecstasy, eyes never wavering from yours as he orgasmed and slammed up into that girl's throat. You shivered from the memories and stood up abruptly, needing to move around before the warmth in your core spread and created any type of physical arousal.

Your phone buzzed, seeing Miguel’s name light up the screen. Unlocking your phone, only the words ‘Come to my office now.’ showed up and your feet began to move towards your door when you stopped.

A million thoughts danced behind your eyes and you smirked, tired of him already.

‘No.’ is all you answered before exiting your office and shutting the door loudly behind you so he knew you’d be gone. You confidently walked to the elevator and tossed your hair over your shoulder. He wanted your unfiltered thoughts? Well then, he had no idea what he signed up for.

Standing in the elevator, you saw him walk out of his office as well and make eye contact with you, making you flash back to what you’d seen earlier.

In seconds, you realized something as you stood ten feet away now. He knew you wouldn’t know about the color coded schedule. He planned that little power play. He was showing his dominance, like a dog peeing on his territory. A show of who was in charge and what you were to him. A plaything.

This split second of awareness made you even more confident in your defiance, as you saw him begin to close in on the elevator. The doors began to close and you smiled, waving to him right before they shut.

The ride to the lobby was serene, like the calm after the storm. Your day had been intense to say the least. A lot of arguing, thinking, absorbing, and borderline sexual assault on your eyes. But it wasn’t a bad day. In fact, this all gave you a thrill you didn’t know you needed.

Once on the ground floor, you walked outside and waved to a taxi, getting in once one stopped. Scrolling over the list you were given by Lyla, you stopped at one stare in particular.

“Take me to Hermès.” And you were gone.

Standing in the dressing room, the whole world felt like a scene from Pretty Woman. You twirled in tight, business dresses that you thought they only wore in movies about billionaires with red rooms. The color of your favorite so far was a lightweight white dress, but it seemed a bit much for the office, so you tucked it away and decided if you needed a sexy dress for an event, you’d pull it out.

You’d decided to go on a shopping spree on Fifth Avenue, where you’d been fired the previous day, and eat lunch right where this all had begun.

Sitting at a table, you requested Peter kindly and he made his way over in an instant. “I am so sorry, it was completely out of my control! I didn’t-“ he apologized and you just shook your head.

“It’s ok. I understand now. How about you get me a white wine and we call it water under the bridge?” You requested and he nodded, fetching it with hast. It was a great meal and once you were done, you gave Peter and Gwen both a hug.

“You know, since you technically got a huge promotion, we should celebrate! Go out tonight, get some drinks?” Gwen asked and you quickly agreed. A few drinks sounds exactly like what you needed.

Now beyond overstimulated, you made your way home with around thirty thousand dollars worth of clothing.

And when you saw a moving truck outside of your complex, you remembered that you were indeed moving.

Hours of tossing shit in boxes and taping them closed, you were packed and in the moving van on your way to your new apartment. You were still reeling with this whole world and how quickly things had spun into a web of insanity.

Leaning your head back against the side of the van, the adrenaline was starting to wear off and the reality began to sink in.

Arriving at your new place, the large men brought in the big pieces of furniture you decided to keep, which was really just your couch, bed, and coffee table. Everything else was unneeded and ugly anyway. You tried to help as much as possible, but quickly opted for carrying in boxes and garbage bags you’d packed in a rush. It was over just as quickly as it started and soon, you were sitting on your floor cross legged and staring at the boxes, then glanced at the shopping bags that were full of expensive dresses and clothing. That sounded like a lot more fun than unpacking your old sweats and knickknacks.

Pulling everything out and placing it on hangers, your eyes glanced at a specific outfit you’d chosen that’d be perfect to celebrate with Gwen tonight. Pulling on a white halter dress, you enjoyed the little bits of side boob and the way the thigh had a slit that showed more skin. The light fabric made it comfortable and easy to move in, and with a quick pair of strappy heels with sparkling rhinestones all over from Jimmy Choo, you grabbed your new Louis Vuitton purse and smiled. Maybe this job would be so terrible.

Texting Gwen, you also decided to invite Lyla and Jess. Lyla agreed to come out, whereas Jess said she didn’t have a sitter for the boys and would come out once her husband got home from work. A girls night was exactly what you needed, and everything about the feeling of hopping on the train and getting eyes from a few good looking men made you hum with pride. Ignoring all of the bullshit from the past two days, you liked Gwen a lot and she’s become someone you trusted even only knowing her for about a week. She had an authenticity about her that made you feel like she was honest and brave.

Lyla also made you laugh with how she always had something to say back. Her fun loving attitude was one you almost felt jealous of, how she seemed so relaxed. Jessica had a bad ass vibe to her, like everything she did could be documented and made into a comic or story. Like some sort of legend in the making.

You wanted to be like them in so many ways, you’d have to start taking notes and learning how they seemed to be so damn cool.

Stepping off the train and hurrying towards the club Gwen suggested, you couldn’t help but smile. You’re first time clubbing in Nueva York! It was so exciting, seeing people waiting outside of the club in a long line like in movies you’d seen. Waving to Gwen, who was already on line, you caught up with her. Her outfit fit her so well, a black shirt leather jacket over a dark silver mini dress with black tights with rips in them and black platform boots with chains down the sides. She looked like a rockstar, and that wasn’t too far from the truth. She smiled wide and grabbed your hand.

“This is going to be so much fun!” She added and you couldn’t agree more. Suddenly, you felt a hand grab yours from behind and saw a familiar pair of heart shaped glasses.

“Lyla!” Gwen cheered before you even turned around fully, all hugging together. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, how’s Mr. Grumpy pants?” The blonde asked and Lyla just rolled her eyes.

“Cranky as usual, but he comes in handy for some things. Follow me.” She pulled you both out of the line and to the front where many people were giving you all dirty looks. A security guard only took a second to look at Lyla and moved the ropes for her and you to come in, not even bothering to check your ids. You looked at Gwen in surprise and she just nodded, as if telling you to keep your cool.

The club was packed beyond belief, and a girl in a bodysuit and fishnets let you to a large booth-table with velvet black couches and a large bottle of champagne on the table. “Who did this?”

“I may have called ahead and three around Miguel’s name.” Lyla shrugged, grabbing a flute of champagne and filling it with the bubbly alcohol. She handed you each one more and tilted her glass to inspire a toast. “To our new recruit in the Spider society!” She cheersed and you blushed at the attention, Gwen whooping and hollering.  The thrum of the heavy bass and heat from the moving bodies made you almost lightheaded, enjoying the free feeling from the liquid in your cup. Another bottle was brought out once Jess arrived and the four of you swayed a bit to the beat, to which you grabbed Gwen’s hand and attempted to pull her to the dance floor. Lyla followed with Jess and you all moved, swaying your hips to the rap playing in the dim lights. The flash of Lyla’s phone camera made you cover your face a little, still smiling and not stopping your dance, swiveling in a seductive motion and feeling the heat between your legs begin to rise from the feeling of the eyes around you watching. Jess nudged you and pointed to a man at the bar, a bit taller and thin in a dress shirt. You made eye contact with the man and the temperature of your chest rose once more. You made your way over to where he was, raising a hand at the bartender as you ordered a drink. He leaned over and spoke.

“On my tab.” His voice was low, eyes catching yours once more and making you feel very aware of your surroundings. A blush creeped onto your face and you tucked a stray hair behind your ear. “I’m Harry.” He introduced himself and you returned the favor,  shaking his hand gently. Big Sean pumped around you both as you talked for what felt like an hour, light conversation giving you a feeling similar to a high. It had been a while since you’d enjoyed speaking to someone like this, chemistry and familiarity.

“Is that you?” You heard someone speak from behind you and call your name, turning to face the last person you thought would be in front of you.

“Eddie?” You gasped, fear coursing through the previously hot blood in your veins, cold as ice now from this familiar face. “How did you-”

“I heard you moved here a few weeks ago and came to visit. Nothing like a friendly face, right?” You searched around for your female friends in vain, finding no one you even recognized. He slipped his hand into yours, frozen with horror as he squeezed, something you knew was actually a warning. “How about we find somewhere to talk?”

“Actually, I’m with my coworkers, now is a bad time.” You tried to remove your hand from his and felt him unrelenting, his grip tightening. “Please, not here.” You begged, pleading with him and knowing you’d get nowhere.

“There you are!” Jess’s voice rang through as she pushed through the crowd, Lyla and Gwen behind her. “We’re about to get another bottle- who’s this?” She raised a brow questioningly at Eddie, who stepped closer with a small smile.

“I’m Eddie, nice to meet you,” He shook her hand and her eyes glanced to yours, hopefully seeing the feeling of terror you were trying to show her.

“Right,” Jess pulled you closer to her and slipped her arm into yours, “well, sorry to burst your bubble, but we’re having a girls only night, so she’ll have to talk to you another time.” Jess secured her hand around your arm and smiled, knowing exactly what you needed. Behind you, Lyla had signaled security and had them coming closer, but a voice made everyone stop moving instantly.

“Actually, I think it’s time we all go.” A deep voice said from your right and you looked up to see your boss.

“How-“ Gwen asked but was quickly cut off by the glare Miguel sent her.

“I saw the videos Lyla posted and came to celebrate as well.” From his body language, that definitely was not his true intentions, but you were left in the dark as Jess and Lyla looked extremely nervous, like they’d just got caught doing something very bad.

Gwen leg the way out as Jess and Lyla followed, to which you began to walk forward with them, but a hand grabbed your wrist once more and you came face to face with Harry, who’d been caught in the crossfire of your drama.

“When will I see you again?” He begged slightly, a small smile on his lips until Miguel stood in between you two and sneered at him a bit.

“Get your hands off my employee.” His voice was dangerous, a presence only a lion would challenge. Without letting anyone interject, he dragged you out through the crowd and into the street lights. A hoard of men in black clothing stood outside with the girls, seemingly waiting for you and Miguel. You all climbed into a black SUV where all of the seats faced each other and both Jess and Lyla hung their heads, Gwen holding your hand in concern.

“What the hell was that, Lyla?!” His voice was loud, accusatory. “Are you trying to start a fight?”

“Of course not, I just wanted to-“

“I don’t even want to hear it. And you, Jess? You should know better than anyone what that could have led to!” His tone made you coward backwards a bit, Jess unwavering in her confidence.

“Who do you think you’re speaking to like that? Lyla and I were with her and Gwen, we were perfectly safe.” She defended and Lyla nodded, Gwen looking up just as confused as you.

“What are you guys talking about?” You asked quietly and as if he just noticed you were there, his eyes were cautious. Everything was silent for a moment before he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“That nightclub is owned by another mob in Nueva, a smaller one, but it would still be a problem if anything else had happened. They would think I sent spies to their club.” He added the end as an example. You looked down as Gwen rubbed your shoulder from worry.

“I’m taking you all to a different club, one that won’t cause any unnecessary issues-“

“Actually…” you started and but your lip before continuing. “I think I just want to go home. I’m too tired to stay out.” You didn’t dare look up at anyone else, eyes trained on your shinny shoes that you were so excited about a few hours ago. How did everything keep happening so fast?

The car stopped outside of your building and you got out, followed by Miguel. He tapped the top of the car and the rest of the girls were sent home. You both walked in and onto the elevator.

“I don’t need an escort-“

“This is also my building.” He interrupted you and you finally looked up at him, watching as his eyes stayed focused on the buttons of the elevator. He tapped your floor and then the top floor. Of course he had the penthouse.

You stayed soundless, the exhaustion finally hitting you and making you drag your feet. The doors opened and you glanced at him before just walking out.

“By the way.” He spoke before you could walk too far, turning to look into his eyes for the first time that night. “Next time my office door is shut, remember to knock.” The metal doors closed and the memory of him fucking into that woman’s throat was then fresh on your mind.

Miguel’s head fell back against the metal. Lyla had posted those videos of you dancing on her account and he’d seen them when she started not answering his messages, then watching how you moved your body in that adorable white  dress. And the way it moved up your thighs while you danced-

Miguel opened his eyes as the ding of the elevator sounded that he’d reached his penthouse. Walking into his dining room, he shed himself from the suit jacket and began unbuttoning his shirt, stretching his shoulders and tossing the shirt into a hamper close to his closet. Unbuckling his belt, Miguel let out a breath of relief as he adjusted himself to be more comfortable. Sitting down on his bed, he reached for his laptop and settled under the covers. Scrolling through a few documents, he pulled up his background search of you. Your photo popped up with some of your social media. Pictures from the beach, a few from birthdays, and some family photos, you seemed completely normal.

But something was off.

Miguel knew he was intimidating, it was part of his stature that made his job a little easier. You weren’t afraid of him, you kept your ground and fought back to him.

But tonight, you had fear in your eyes when you saw that guy. What was his name again? Adam? Who knows, but he saw that slight hesitation and anxiety in you that he didn’t recognize. You were scared of that guy.

He thought back to earlier in the day when he’d saw you as he was getting his normal de-stressing from one of the girls in the lower levels, something many women around him volunteered for. She’s come up and offered sex, but he just needed a mouth to fuck.

And then you walked in with that plain outfit and sensible shoes, holding your tablet like you’d been in a rush. And he couldn’t look away. You should have been the one wrapped around his dick, he wanted to hear you gagging on him as he thrusted upwards and grunted. He wanted to cum inside your mouth, not someone random woman’s from marketing. He wanted you.

Unknowingly, his hand had traveled to his boxers and he’d begun rubbing himself to the thought of you.

All he could imagine was you mouthing off to him, and him bending you over the kitchen counter in his apartment, holding one arm behind your back as the other moved to grasp anything within reach as he took you from behind. Miguel rolled his eyes back at the thought of your warm hole welcoming him as he licked two fingers of his free hand and rubbed circles on your clit until you were practically pushing him away from the intensity of your orgasm. But no, he wouldn’t let you get away that easily, he wanted to feel it around him, so he would angle his hips a little more upward, hitting that soft spot that made you arch your back into him more and let out broken moans.

As if on cue, white ropes of his own mess hit his chest and he looked down in surprise, having forgotten what his hand had been doing. He sighed and got up to rinse himself off with a softening cock and an empty mind. The single thing on his brain when he tossed and turned in his sleep that night?

You.

Gwen’s outfit

Your outfit

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 3

[helsensm]

you said we could you know what this means...

-How'd you come up with the name Saoirse? -What are her thoughts on magic? -Who would she think is the most evil: Shang Tsung, Quan Chi, or Shao? -If she could have a pet, would she? And if so, what would it be of?

awww thank you for asking! 💗 here's a little Saoirse playing with her friends to draw attention afdfgHjJ

1. Back in my high school and uni years I was fascinated with Celtic folklore, Irish history and culture. The interest died down a bit with time, but I still love everything related to Ireland and dream about visiting it someday. 😩 So when I was thinking about Saoirse’s background (she’s a foreigner, raised in China), I decided... to make her Irish?? And since a lot of Irish names are hard to pronounce for English speaking people, I chose the one that might be more well-known because of Saoirse Ronan.

2. She actually grew up, seeing a few things (one of which is the reason of her abilities), so magic doesn’t shock or scare her. She’s not opposed to it too, she believes that if these forces even exist in the world[s], they are a natural part of it. The main problem is what kind of person is using magic and for what purposes.

3. Saoirse would not bother with the ratings. If you’re going against the natural order of things and infringe on the rights of others – you are a bad persons, and you need to be stopped. It’s that simple for her. 🤷 It goes both ways too – the person who donates millions to charity and the person who helped a kid learn a cool trick in the skatepark are equally good in her eyes.

4. Oh, that’s a good one, because I actually don’t know if you can have a pet in the Shaolin monastery, now I want to check this out. 🤔 Saoirse… I don’t think she would love the idea of being someone’s owner (✨childhood trauma✨). But she loves animals, so to have a self-sufficient animal with big personality roam around the monastery would be perfect, like a stray cat who comes and goes where it pleases but always comes back to eat and sleep with her. :3

[timelyenigma]

In Light of Sophie from Mars being accused of... A bunch of really bad shit, please consider donating to Mermaids. I don't know any other charities in the UK, so if you know a better one, donate to them. Also consider donating to Palestine Action and PCRF. I can't hyperlink stuff for some reason.

Really fuckin disappointed in Sophie, and feel terrible for the people that she abused.

I will be keeping up the original post below because I still think what she said is important even though she turned out to suck big time. .

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Original Post: "I'm actually writing this because I want people to be angry; I want people to be as angry as I am when I hear people defeatedly declare 'We're all going to die.' I want you to hate the future eater, and to understand that when we say 'We're all going to die' what we're actually saying is 'Capitalism is going to win and humanity is going to lose.'

I can't stomach saying that anymore. I can barely even stomach hearing that anymore because I think humanity is going to win, and humanity winning means there is no end; no final judgement, no closing score.

I know there will be more after capitalism chokes to death on its own excretions and exhaust fumes and after it takes nearly millions, perhaps billions, of us with it...

And all we have to do is make what comes next beautiful and loving and kind is start now to imagine the end of capitalism and not the end of the world."

-Sophie from Mars (The World Is Not Ending)

[adamwatchesmovies]

Ocean's Thirteen (2007)

Inexplicably, the Ocean’s franchise didn’t sink into oblivion after the sewage that was Ocean’s Twelve. This third chapter in the series fares much better than its predecessor but never reaches the level of the original (neither the original original or the 2001 remake). Still, as another installment, it does offer the remaining fans more of what they want to see, which is something.

After Reuben (Elliott Gould) loses his investment in a new hotel-casino to his business partner, Willy Bank (Al Pacino), he suffers a heart attack and becomes bedridden. Danny (George Clooney) and the rest of the Ocean Club decide to get even by ruining Bank and his new establishment.

If you’re not endeared to the Ocean’s crew, this plot will be an uphill battle. "Boo hoo. Poor Reuben is so upset he’s not making millions off this gaudy casino that he’s become catatonic. Guess it’s up to his buddies to get revenge on his behalf instead of just convincing the proper authorities that he was strongarmed into signing a contract?" Towards the end of the film, the crew’s old nemesis, Terry Benedict (Andy García, whose character is brought back under dubious pretenses), sees millions of his money donated to charity without his consent. I wonder if any of the cash the protagonists end up swiping from Banks would’ve gone anywhere except their pockets had they not had a score to settle. While some of this is mitigated by the fact that Willy Bank is a jerk, what we're seeing feels like a whole lot of “the 1%’s problems”. There isn’t a love plot to make us believe this is about anything but money unless you count the brotherly love between the Ocean’s crew. Even that seems like a stretch.

In the first movie and even in the second in a “sure, whatever”, kind of way, it made sense for these 11 people (we’ll get to that number in a moment) to join forces. Now? It seems overly optimistic to think the random Chinese acrobat who doesn’t speak English would put himself at risk as he does here. Now to be fair, this story makes much better use of its characters than Twelve did. No one gets stuffed into a bag and shipped off to nowhere halfway through, for example. Everyone has a role to play and it works though it should be noted that neither Julia Roberts nor Catherine Zeta-Jones return.

You’re wondering who the two new members of the crew are. One is the aforementioned Benedict, who plays the role of a benefactor. The other is… Eddie Izzard as Roman Nagel. I think. The motif of adding a new expert to the crew with each sequel has basically disappeared, and for good reason. This series can barely handle the people it has on its roster. Adding more is becoming increasingly problematic but it’s also necessary. See, “The Bank” has insane security measures, the kind no one in their right might would even try to circumvent. On the one hand, this makes for exciting scenes that make you wonder how the lock will get cracked. On the other, it makes the plot feel manufactured. For example, there's this super secure room that contains expensive jewelry. The plan to get in? Have Linus Caldwell (Matt Damon) and his phoney-looking rubber nose seduce Bank’s right-hand woman, Abigail Sponder (Ellen Barkin). With the help of some magic pheromones, she’ll get so hot and bothered she’ll have no choice but to bring Linus into the only room in the whooooole building that's guaranteed to be deserted. Apparently, there are cameras in the bathrooms, the closets and her private office. It’s a horrible subplot made unintentionally comical by the fact that nothing happens between her and Linus. The movie teases nudity for at least 15 minutes. Ellen Barkin's chest is ALMOST falling out of her dress for so long it’s ridiculous. I thought she was slobbering at the mouth for some man meat but she’s not even taking off her clothes? What’s going on here?!

I’ve been mostly bad-mouthing Ocean's Thirteen because the film is constantly on the brink of crumbling under its own weight. I will still call it a “good” sequel because fans of this series will be happy with it. You hate the bad guy, there are enough laughs to keep you smiling consistently and the con is so complicated it’s fun to see all the pieces coming together. All of the actors are obviously having a great time. I’m in no hurry to watch it again but if you love love love the first, you didn’t mind the second and you want to know if you should watch the third, then I say “sure”. I say this despite feeling like twice was too many for me. (April 29, 2022)

[11queensupreme11]

How'd the boys react to Mizuhime jokingly confessing her love for Maki, Nobara, or Inumaki?

Also, I imagine Nobara being a very parasitic kinda friend. (I can see Maki being that way too but not as bad as Nobara.) What I mean is like it'll be a random Tuesday night, and Nobara would barge into Mizuhime's room and be like... 'Hime-sempai, i don't have anything to wear. Like anything. Can we go shopping? I need clothes.' And Mizuhime is just like ○-• 'Er oke.' But Megumi, who heard the commotion, follows the girls. To tell Nobara off but never gets to. Instead, he gets saddled with the bags.

It's strange, but I also imagine Mizuhime isn't really big into philanthropy. It's strange, but I get the feeling that if she saw a homeless man on the street, she'd not give him money. But I feel this is a learned thing. Like, I don't feel like any of the Uchiumi's would help.

The yanderes who would actually take that confession seriously are Sukuna, Choso, and Kashimo. But for Choso, the jealousy wouldn't last because Mizuhime (or someone else) just has to explain that the confession was a joke and that she loves her friends platonically, not romantically. And he'd just be "oh okay :)"

Kashimo's a jealous bastard so it's only natural he gets pissy. Meanwhile, Sukuna's selfish and only wants Mizuhime to love him and only him. No friends allowed

Nobara would probably do all that stuff on purpose lol. Like, once she knows one of the boys likes Mizuhime, she'd purposely cockblock them and take Mizuhime away for girl time lolol

And yeah, Mizuhime's not a philanthropist. She's nice and kind.... but not "i want to end world hunger and help people!!" type of kind. It's more like "my friend needs help so I'm going to help them because I care about them" type of kind. She's kind to the people she knows, but when it comes to others, she'll feel sympathetic for the plights but won't go out of her way to help them since they're strangers to her.

She's not evil or terrible ofc, but she's not really the type of person to help a stranger in need unless it's staring at her in the face. She'll help a stranger pick up their groceries if they fall in front of her, but she won't be going "i'm rich so I should donate a million dollars to charity!".

And yeah, she definitely won't be helping a homeless man on the street either 💀 if she sees a homeless person, she'll scurry away and pretend she never saw them 💀💀 That's pretty much the same with the other Uchiumis, though the meaner ones would look down on them in disgust like "ew, poor people"

[firinniee]

HOGWARTS LEGACY VS JKR

Out of context but I decided to celebrate the release of the latest Harry Potter game (10.02) and I have to say here my opinion on this subject, someone who grew up on HP, is part of the LGBT and does not wholeheartedly support person who created this magical world. No matter what you think, if you have any respect for another human being, please read what I have to say, k?

The fact that I wanted to write such an entry appeared in my head from the moment I started getting insults and threats here because I supposedly "support jkr"... because I like Harry and I drew pictures with him over a year ago quite regularly? This is stupid. Just like raiding people because they like something is stupid. Since apparently we have a problem with separating author from they work and attack for everyone who has anything to do with Harry Potter has begun. Apart from the fact that books can be bought used and fan merch exists, we can not support the author financially in any way, do you think it changes anything? Like for Christmas, me and my fiancé got HP bedding and HP pajamas from my mama, and do you think that JK came to Poland to thank my ma' for this purchase? You think that made her have enough money to feed her children and pay for the apartment? NO. Do you think she cares? Of course not! Rowling is a person who could allocate a significant part of her wealth (because yes, we must not forget about it if we want to be objective) for charity, probably even her three children will not be able to spend the money she has because there is too much of it.

But here we come to someone who is not so rich and does not have that much money. Do you know who? The creators of the game. The creators of the game, who not only make a living from being part of creating it, they devoted long hours to it and delved into the world that they must love so that the society that has been waiting for a good game from this university for years will get it. And now you can scream "But why did they go to make a transphobe game?!?!?!?" Let me explain, the first transphobic JK Rowlings games on Twitter appeared in 2020, and the first mentions of the already quite developed Hogwarts Legacy we met in 2018. It is true that the creators cleverly wanted to cut themselves off from JKR, but unfortunately even they were intolerant of "anti jkr", and yes really anti their time, anti their work and anti their work as artists.

And you think that even if, hypothetically, none of the games were bought, would the author of HP cry about it? No, we would show her that even if the next games, books and movies fail, she will still be in a high position as an author.

Now in private, I hope you're not a hypocrite and if you think that just liking HP is supporting JKR, are you doing anything for others to be what they want to be? Have you helped a trans person and bought them a binder? Do you publicly defend their right to use the restroom where they feel comfortable or did you do something JUST FOR GOOD of that person? Or let's go even deeper, since everyone should be equal, have you helped other people in need? Have you donated blood? Are you in the bone marrow donor database? Have you supported any foundation that supports what is most important to you? Poor ones? Womans? Kids? Animals? Or maybe you just sit on the Internet, use emotional blackmail and hide behind the alleged tolerance, but only in terms of what should be right for you & you want to force others to your will? Ordinary people like me and you suffer because of this behavior. If you want to destroy the right of many people to create their own creations and probably millions of people's right to take a break from the gray world and play a game about a magical kid running around the castle - you are as bad as the jkr you hate so much. Just intolerant.

Nah due to the fact that I am quite sick I don't have the strength to argue in the comments but I think such things should be said out loud, from someone who is at the center of it all. I'll probably be a poser, but I'd rather buy a switch game once it's available, but for now, I wish everyone could feel comfortable - whether it's in such big things as orientation, pronouns or being yourself, but also in such mundane things as liking Harry Potter. If it makes you happy and doesn't hurt anyone, remember that you don't have to be like the author if you don't support them. Good day my beans! ~Firinnie

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to Too Much Information Tuesday.

Mastrophobia is a fear of boobs. (Go figure!)

Nicolas Cage was once stalked by a mime.

Brits send over 64 million pointless emails a day.

Wiz Khalifa spends about $10,000 on weed every month.

A female ‘cock block’ is called a ‘clam jam’.

The Musée du Louvre has its own dedicated fire brigade.

Average penis size has increased over the last 30 years.

The awards for excellence in obituary writing are called the Grimmys.

The Candy Crush app makes about $850,000 per day.

‘Baby Got Back’ by Six Mix-a-Lot has made over $100,000,000 since its release.

The inventor of the bra, Caresse Crosby, had a pet whippet called Clytoris.

‘Misspell’ is one of the most commonly misspelled words in the English language.

In 2007, Scotland spent £125,000 devising a new national slogan. The winning entry was: ‘Welcome to Scotland’.

Everyone has at least 50,000 thoughts a day but 95% of them are the same as the day before.

When a male honey bee climaxes during sex, his testicles explode and he dies.

In 2007, a woman from New Zealand was fired for using caps lock too often in work emails.

The Institute for the Future predicts that 85% of jobs which will exist in 2030 haven’t yet been invented.

On average, people who get out of bed by 7.00 a.m. perform better at work, tend to be happier, less stressed and thinner.

The traffic is so bad in Moscow that some wealthy residents have bought Ambulances to speed up their journeys.

In the late 19th century, you could buy heroin through the Sears department store catalogue.

In 2002, the average user spent 46 minutes on the Internet a day. In 2012, the average user spent four hours on the Internet every day.

The penis of the blue whale is known as a dork. Blue whales have an average penis length of 98 inches.

The world's poorest president is of the country of Uruguay because he donates 90% of his salary to charity.

In 1970, a woman in Arizona filed a lawsuit against God after a lightning bolt struck her home. She won the case by default after the defendant failed to turn up in court.

Shackleton’s Antarctic expedition found a stowaway onboard who was allowed to stay on condition he’d be the first to be eaten in an emergency.

A ‘verbal vampire’ is someone whose incessant, boring talk is so stultifying that it drains the life out of anyone who is forced to listen to them.

In 1674, the ‘Women’s Petition Against Coffee’ called for a ban on coffee, suggesting that it made men too talkative and rendered them “unfruitful” in the bedroom.

Limping was briefly fashionable in 18th century England. The Prince of Wales' wife, Alexandra of Denmark had a limp and other ladies imitated her. Shopkeepers sold pairs of shoes with one high and one low heel.

Perissology is the unnecessary use of rather more words than are necessary to get the meaning of the words across to the majority of people in a meaningful manner or way to make sure they really understand what you mean to make sure they don't misunderstand what you are saying.

In 1978, a woman in Prague decided to end her life after finding out her husband was cheating. She walked to the balcony of her apartment and jumped but she didn't hit the ground. She landed on and crushed her husband who was returning home. He died from the impact, she survived.

In 2017, a North Korean man decided he'd had enough and attempted to escape. After driving at speed into the border, he ran for his life. He was shot five times but reached South Korean soil and collapsed on the ground. Despite his injuries, he made a full recovery and lives happily in South Korea.

Okay, that’s enough information for one day. Have a tremendous and tumultuous Tuesday! I love you all.

[hacked-wtsdz]

It does fucking mean something. 140 million dollars donated for charity means a lot, actually. Her transphobic actions don’t cancel out the good that she has done for AIDS and cancer patients, trafficked children, homeless children, orphans, and others. The way her philanthropy doesn’t cancel out her transphobic actions. Whether or not she did it for tax evasion or public goodwill doesn’t matter, she still did it. Also, as far as I know, there is the Edinburgh Rape Crisis Center that is open to trans people, it exists. She funded the creation of Beira’s Place, a different sexual abuse shelter, which isn’t open to trans women, but it’s not the only one in Edinburgh. My post wasn’t about saying that she is a great person. My post was about saying that she isn’t a completely vile human being, because she isn’t, 140 million dollars to charity, hello? This comment of yours about it meaning nothing is my point exactly about her charity work not meaning anything to many westerners, because they aren’t in need of it.

In the end, I don’t see the point of this argument. Are you trying to convince me that she is a despicable person? She isn’t. She isn’t a fantastic one either. She is just a person who does bad things and good things, and cancel culture is completely devoid of this nuance, and I think that’s bad. How is “someone isn’t deserving of complete demonisation because they have done both good and bad” a controversial take.

So tired of jk rowling demonisation. Yeah the woman hates trans people. She also spent amounts most of y’all have never seen on humanitarian causes and charities. She is not a one hundred percent horrible person deserving of shunning. Are people allergic to nuance

[425599167]

Barriss starts out the perfect padawan of esteemed Master Luminara Unduli, and Ahsoka is the wild child getting paired with living disaster zone Anakin Skywalker. But if Palpatine was stopped and the war ended on better terms, Ahsoka was growing into the dedicated Jedi who fought to protect the Republic and trusted in the Jedi Council. Meanwhile Barriss began the war disappointed in Jedi leadership and spent years full of festering doubt and resentment. The second she hits knighthood and becomes independent, she is going to criticize the council at every opportunity. She says they’re too loyal to the Republic over systems outside it, it doesn’t matter how nice they are to the clones when they’re still considered property, ongoing military leadership goes against Jedi ideals and contributes to a growing military-industrial complex, etc.

Luminara: By the right of the Council, by the will of the Force, I pronounce you a Knight of the Jedi Order. Barriss Offee, you may rise.

Barriss: Thank you, Master. No take-backs.

Luminara: You are welco- I beg your pardon?

We know some Jedi like the Lost Twenty choose to leave, but Barriss would stay. Stay and be a problem. The council probably wouldn’t even begrudge her for it, they’d just be stuck in the same political deadlock they’d been in for years, except now they’re facing growing internal criticism as Barriss unionizes all the other wartime padawans. The few who survived, at least.

Barriss: Masters, I’ve noticed the Order is becoming further entrenched in politics. As such, you’ll be happy to know I’m going to become more politically active! *heals Umbaran soldiers injured in Republic bombardments and widely publicizes the damage caused by the invasion*

Windu: Knight Offee-

Barriss: Oh, is this bad? Do you not like this?

Luminara: No, we agree that is exemplary behavior for a Jedi Knight in a recovering galaxy. What we wanted to talk about was you touring the casinos on Sal Sagev and using telekinesis to help several attendees win millions of credits at the roulette tables. It caused a bit of an uproar when you were identified from security footage. Who are these people?

Barriss: They are ordinary citizens who donated their winnings to various charities dedicated to postwar reconstruction projects.

Windu: Hm. Very well, I suppose that’s-

Barriss: They are also the opponents of senators whose corruption you’ve willfully ignored because they’re your political allies.

Twenty years later, Ahsoka is on the council, and is frequently called on to reign in Barriss from escalating fights with the senate and various megacorporations. Anyone else has zero chance of making Barriss stop, and Ahsoka still takes her side half the time. Then, half of that half, Ahsoka will escalate the situation even further than Barriss intended.

[vulnerary-prince]

Agreed that the monarchy is an outdated tradition that's largely been reduced to ceremonial role and source of tourism, but there are reasons why the Queen is respected and beloved:

- pushed for the transition from the British Empire to the Commonwealth of Nations, which replaced the old colonial power structure to a political union where members are self-governed and equal (not unlike the EU, ASEAN or the UN). It's been so successful that even countries that were never even part of the British Empire have voluntarily joined since it was created

- worked behind the scenes (using what limited power she had, and despite opposition from the British (and US) government) to push South Africa to end the Apartheid

- was a patron for over 600 charities and helped raised ~£1.5 billion for them over the course of her reign, and was hugely passionate about ending inequality of all kinds

- was the first British monarch to visit Ireland since their independence, and in her speech admitted the mistakes the British had made in the past and gave her condolences to the Irish for the atrocities commited, a highly unusual move which shocked the world and greatly improved the relationship between the two countries

- least significant, but the reason why she is so well adored, is because she was the one responsible for making the royals accessible to everyday people. Rather than sitting in a castle unseen by the common peasants, she was out on the street greeting people, making televised addresses to the public every Christmas, and just generally allowing the media to show the life of the Royal Family, something that was always kept secret previously

Is the Monarchy stupid and outdated in this day and age? Yeah, most definitely. But Americans don't seem to understand that the Monarchy hasn't actually been responsible for any political decisions for a large part of the last century, and the Queen isn't personally responsible for any of the bad shit that governments are doing - that's on the shoulders of old men and megacorporations, same as everywhere else. She's really nothing more than a kind grandma that loves her people, and THAT is why people love and respect her.

Funny that you would mention that horrid political decisions rests on the shoulders of old men and megacorporations since that’s precisely where the wealth of the royal family comes from, I mean of course aside from taxpayer dollars.

See the Sovereign Grant, collected via taxes and payed back to the royal family, amounted to around £82.2 million in 2019. Granted this grant is only afforded to the royal family should the surrender any profits made from the Crown Estate, but this is still £82.2 being shilled out for what equates to LARPing as an actual human being and not some financial leech and her little family of smaller more terrible leeches. This fund is only used to maintain upkeep on the royal families exorbitant estates, cover the entire families travel expenses, and pay for the royal employee payroll.

Expenses outside of that can be payed by the Duchy of Lancaster- a portfolio of lands and assets that is made up of residential, commercial, and agricultural properties. This brought in £20.7 in 2019 and is used to pay “expenses incurred by other members of the royal family.” This on top of personal assets of the Queen which make up for an unknown portion of wealth, but includes an expansive art collection (wonder who’s money paid for that art too), a couple of estates of her own, and assets passed down to her by previous monarchs (wonder how much of that is stolen from the lands Britain colonized).

Why yes I’m sure it’s very easy to donate and raise funds while sitting atop a pile of unearned generational wealth, much of which was inherited by a history of bloody colonialism, in your massive free palace courtesy of the people you love ever so much. All the while your shit stain of a royal family engage in so much bullshit that every few years you have to come out of your little hole and apologize for the abuse and ostracizing of another beloved spouse of one of your shitty shitty children while we all watch on in disbelief at our favorite government sponsored reality TV show. And sure I get it the royal family are millionaires not billionaires, they could be worse! They could be even more filthy rich for doing absolutely nothing!

As an American I can agree with you that I truly do not understand the monarchy or the role it plays in the lives of the British people. But as an American I can also spot a filthy governmental leech from a lightyear away. Generationally wealthy, holder of dozens of properties, and never truly working to hard for anything a day in her little life. Sounds like every single one of the men I hate most in this world.

With the monarchy Elizabeth and her rotted little family are England’s biggest celebrity spectacle of incest freaks including good ole king tampon. The Kardashians if they were less entertaining to watch be horrible people and funded by the American Government. Without the monarchy good ole Lizzie and her dear family are just every other generationally wealthy millionaire alive in the world today generating wealth that they put a pittance of back into their community, hoard the rest, and call it a day then head out to the golf course. And yes she has done some good, but whether she was actively leeching off the British people intentionally or not she was still complicit in profiting off the British people and inherited (from you know the gross colonial regime) generational wealth that let’s be honest was probably stolen in the first place.

It’s very cute that the parasite tried to pretend it wasn’t a parasite and did such a good job of it, but no matter how you slice it or however many christmases it’s there for a leech is still a leech. And now we’re left with king tampon and his gross little Vienna sausage fingers to continue the legacy of mooching off the government. People who love and respect this woman have been misguided into believing she’s one of the people in the same way Americans are tricked into believing a guy like Bezos ever pulled himself up by his bootstraps to do shit, and that’s that.

Tl;dr Queen Elizabeth is shit and you are not immune to propaganda

[baelatargaryen]

I'm super upset because I tried reaching out to close friends being like have you been following the trial and they're all team JD. So I ask them why? Then I debunk all their misconceptions like the "they're both abusive and toxic" claim and "anyone who lies about charities is bad in my book." But then they never reply to me after.... I don't want to loose friends over this, but I feel like it's so important to set the record straight.

I mean, first of all, I'd say there's a difference between being "toxic" vs being "abusive", and that should be acknowledged out of the gate in any argument/conversation about this. I'm not sure to what extent the word "toxic" is well-defined and universally accepted in this context, and as a result people use it interchangeably with "abusive", which muddles the waters.

A relationship that's mutually toxic can be two people, for example, who have different goals, different wants in life, forcing themselves to stay together despite being largely incompatible. That can be considered toxic — but it's not necessarily abusive. One doesn't have to inflict physical abuse, for a relationship to be "unhealthy" or "toxic", right? A relationship where one person is the sole care-taker, and the other is selfish or absent can be similarly "toxic" or unhealthy, but not inherently abusive.

This is important I think to discuss because there's a world of a difference between two people fighting, arguing, being unhappy together as opposed to being "mutually abusive". So, when it comes down to it, I think you can 100% say that perhaps the relationship between Heard and Depp (and Heard's behaviour), was "toxic", but that doesn't inherently mean they were both abusive, or that mutual abuse exists.

The other thing I'd say is that the charities thing is largely taken out of context, misunderstood and has become a talking point solely to discredit Heard and paint her as a gold-digger. On one hand, Heard's donations are largely irrelevant to the discussion of whether she was abused or not. She could have taken the $7 million and spent it on 7 million burgers, I could not care less, and she could still be considered a victim of sexual, physical and psychological abuse.

But if we are to discuss Heard's donations, there's a couple of things to consider. First and foremost is that Depp paid Heard the $7 million in instalments over a period of two years. This means it is physically impossible for her to donate the entire amount in one lump sum — she never had access to it in such a way. The second is that the words "donation" and "pledge" are used interchangeably, not only in general but specifically even by the ACLU (who Heard was donating half the money to) on their own forms.

For me, it's pretty obvious that Heard saying in one instance on live TV that she "donated" the entire amount, is because a) she was being termed a gold-digger and saying she's donating in instalments would give the people calling her that more fuel, and b) because it's easier to say she "donated" the whole amount (which is factually true as she on documents pledged the entire amount), as opposed to derailing the interview to answer the question and get into both her and Depp's financial agreement, and explain how multi-million dollar donations work.

Depp himself likely chose to pay Heard in instalments because it was financially easier on him as opposed to giving her the lump sum in one go, so that people can't see why Heard would similarly donate in instalments when she has far less money than Depp, is hypocritical. Depp routinely got mad at Heard for her movie roles, and even told her to not work, thereby likely losing her several opportunities. He would then go on to tarnish her entire reputation, causing her to lose further roles or campaigns (L'Oreal has been unable to use their campaigns with her, and she had to fight to keep her role in Aquaman).

The idea that Heard is the gold-digger is laughable, because not only is she definitely entitled to the money that she got in the divorce, but because by California law she was entitled to 1/2 of Depp's earnings — she chose to forgo her rights to 1/2 of the money Depp made in back-end deals, meaning she chose to give up taking tens of millions of dollars. In no way did her allegations aid her in receiving any money from Depp, she could have taken more money without a single accusation.

If anything, Depp's decisions to not only drag Heard to court, but to do so for defamation indicates the very opposite is true. He sued her for $50 million, and was awarded $10.35 million. At this point, Heard has had to spend up to $6 million in legal fees (nearly the entire amount Depp has paid her in the divorce, $1.3 million of which she has donated already), and the ACLU is well aware that the reason she had to stop regular instalments is because of the financial struggles this man has caused her.

It's just another irony in this case that what is being used against Heard (in this case, the donations), is a situation that was caused directly by that man.

[justadumbasskid]

Let me make something clear. I don’t like Harry Potter, I just could never get into it. I always thought that the characters were shallow, the plot was contrived, and I didn’t like the setting because I was a young boy when the first book came out and I thought guns and violence were cooler than magic and violence (they still are).

Any given purchase of Hogwarts: Legacy directly went into the pocket of the studio, actually. It went to paying the artists, programmers, animators, and other such company employees. Most of whom are just people that work in the gaming industry, not necessarily transphobic monsters. “Fuckwhatshernameiforgot” creator of the IP, only receives royalties of what I believe is 10-30% of all purchases related to the game. But this money is a mere drop in the ocean because she’s already made several hundred million dollars from her award-winning books and the movies of the IP, and keeps receiving royalties every second of every day due to purchases of merch and other IP-related products. Hogwarts: Legacy be damned, she could keep donating $70k every day until the day she dies.

Back to Grian, he is a known ally and now you know that he is due to literally everyone else pointing out his donations and activism in MCC events. I didn’t know about this because I also don’t watch MCC. He never explicitly advertises Harry Potter or any related products to its IP. He merely likes the franchise. He is a fan. He does not advertise HP products and does not sell HP products. He gives no money to “whatshername” directly, and the actions of his 8.5 million-strong fanbase cannot possibly be directly attributed to him unless he specifically told them to go out and buy HP merchandise.

And I’m sorry to say, but nearly absolutely everything in your life is related to a Bad Thing or made by Bad People. From the very clothes on your back, the charities you donate to, the food you buy, to the car you drive, real humans suffer in very real ways that are much much worse than any discrimination trans people receive from a mean author on Twitter. I’m sorry to say, but every dollar you spend could very realistically be given to a murderer or a transphobe or a homophobe or the next Adolf Hitler. You just have to learn to live with the fact that just because you spent money on what you believed was a good purchase, you are not related to that hate. Because you simply do not have control over that. It’s like in Islamic tradition, of a Muslim eats pork without their consent or knowledge, then they are not at fault.

MCYT Drama

So, the latest thing with Grian. Dude did a whole video where he said the phrase(and titled the video) Manifest Destiny. He then, immediately after being informed, changed the title and has apologized, saying basically "I'm British and that meaning never crossed my mind."

Which, fair, that's how things should be handled, and I do think it was an honest mistake.

So why did he do a damn Harry Potter build in that same video?! He surely knows at this point, people comment it on his vids whenever it happens.

I see two options. Primarily, he's British. Which could mean "Harry Potter was very important to him growing up" or "He's heavily transphobic". And I don't have much evidence for either option, which is one of the reasons not to do HP-related stuff. It sends a signal to people, whether you want to or not.

IDK, I just needed to vent about this and I'm not happy with my options going forward.

[writingsbychlo]

I know you're working, so answer this when you can. but I'm sharing so I don't forget lol. what do you think the profession of IC would be in a modern world? I don't know everyone because my imagination is precarious, but I definitely I think of Morrigan having a luxury clothing/makeup/jewelry brand. and Emerie I come to be one of its famous partners and they just fell in love and the two are rich bosses who date 😌😌

okay, some of these are not really creative. like, they literally write themselves, I’m working on their personalities, y’know?

rhysand: CEO of a business he inherited from his father. (definitely a corrupt company that was on its knees when he took it over, he now donates ti lots of charities and does everything above board)

azriel: personal investigator & legal advisor. mostly for rhys’ company, actually, he investigates all potential clients and employees and threats, and offers legal advice.

cassian: personal trainer specifically at a boxing gym that he owns. well, technically rhysand owns it, but cassian is buying it with monthly instalments. rhysand tried to give it to him as a gift, cassian refused. he doesn’t know that rhysand is changing him less than 10% of what it actually cost.

feyre: struggling painter who met rhys at an auction she was only at because she was hosted to display one single painting by her college, and she had no idea who he was and ranted to him about all her struggles. he bought her painting, and all the others she had, in exchange for one single date. she is still a painter but she now married into millions. she’s still humble. she keeps rhys humble too. he has that first painting he bought hung up in his office.

mor: personal shopper, but for the elites. stylist for celebrities and big events. she dabbles in a lot of fashion things.

nesta: law student and aspiring lawyer.

elain: café owner. nothing more to say, just a cute little coffee shop with pastries.

lucien: musician who met feyre in college and helped her out of a bad relationship with his best friend of the time, but his music doesn’t make him much money so he temps for rhys occasionally. no set job, just fills in where he can, always. does a bit of everything, because music is his real passion.

gywn: bookshop owner, really quaint bookshop, but it stocks all the good stuff. she also custom makes bookmarks to sell for extra cash inspired by whatever book she’s currently reading. she also runs a book club there on thursday night. and there’s a back room she made into a study room for any students who drop by.

bonus: helion: one of those online make fitness coaches who runs retreats and does yoga and “wellness weeks” and it actually works. is actually a licensed therapist who got sick of the couches and decided to make nice retreats and help people in groups. massively popular. massively undercharges for his services.

[lady-literature]

Accidental Crime Boss Marinette

Okay so,, I have this AU in my head, right? (not surprised) and I’m lacking any real direction for it (still not surprised) but it basically goes like this:

Marinette moves to Gotham.

She’s drawn there for whatever reason and the kwami are saying something about balance and being a Guardian and her sacred duty and something but Marinette isn’t really listening. She’s too busy trying to find a shop front where she can open a bakery without having to worry about getting mugged every time she steps outside.

Chloé comes with her, obviously, because they’re friends and Chloé has a business degree she puts to good use actually running Mari’s bakery and online boutique while Mari gets to bake and fuck around basically. Adrien, Luka and Kagami are not there, but that’s mostly because they travel too much to settle down and keeping an empty apartment in Gotham is just asking for trouble.

Kagami is a world-renowned fencer and Luka travels the world for his music company. Not touring, but soaking up cultures and ways of life so he can make soundtracks to movies and tv shows. Providing the background and life to a film is more his style than touring the world ala his father, Jagged Stone.

Adrien is having the time of his life being Kagami’s trophy husband. He has no pressing responsibilities he doesn’t take on for himself and he gets to fuck with the world’s elite with little to no consequences. He spends most of his days donating far too much money to charities and orphanages and then causing minor scandals that land him on the cover of magazines.

He has much the same kind of ‘dumbass with a heart of gold’ persona to the media as Bruce Wayne does, only without the playboy bits.

(There is a wall in the back of the bakery, where Chloé and Mari carefully cut out and frame every headline and ridiculous picture Adrien has. He is very much delighted when he learns about his ‘wall of fame’.)

Anyway, Marinette finds herself with a bakery not overly far from crime alley, much to Chloé’s chagrin.

(“What do you mean it ‘just felt right’?! I swear to kwami, DC, you’re going to get us robbed and sold into slavery.”)

They do not get sold into salvery.

In fact, despite their less than stellar choice of locale, they do pretty well for themselves. The only problems they have (according to Chloé) is the army of children Marinette accidentally attracted.

When asked, Marinette tells everyone that it was an accident. Meanwhile, Chloé, standing behind her, will shake her head and insist there was literally never any other option for them the moment that first kid came in looking to nab some cash and a few pastries.

Mari lives by the phrases, ‘kindness breeds more kindness’ and ‘do unto others’ and all that other nice person shit. Chloé just lets Mari pseudo-adopt her strays and makes sure that they don’t steal anything too important in the time it takes her to gain their loyalty.

The kwami stay staunchly out of any arguments involving the kids (and eventually the homeless all along their street and every working girl in a five-block radius). They do so with a special brand of amusement that never means good things for either of them. (After all, the last time the kwami looked that amused, they moved to Gotham.)

The first kid is named Serrure, as Marinette comes to learn over the next month after he returns again and again, getting closer and closer like a feral cat. Other kids come during that time, all of them too small and too thin and too guarded for Mari's tastes. She wants to wrap them all up and tuck them into bed but she can’t. She has to be patient, has to be gentle. These kids are just as likely to bite her hand as they are to accept help.

Serrure becomes an almost permanent fixture at the bakery after that first month. Mari’s not quite sure what she did to get through to him, but she did, she supposes. He can’t be much older than eleven and looks nine, but after getting settled, she and Chloé discover this little slip of a boy is just as mischievous as Trixx and has all the dramatics of their favorite black cat.

The kwami, when talking about him, only refer to Serrure as Loki, even after Marinette scolds them for it. She eventually gives up trying to correct them, it’s not like Serrure talks to them anyway(yet)((that she knows of)).

There’s an apartment above the bakery, which is where Chloé and Mari and all her strays that grow to trust her enough live. It’s three bedrooms, and at first, Mari just buys as many bunk beds as she can fit into the spare room and calls it a day. The kids feel safe in her home, which isn’t too surprising. Everyone thinks the bakery feels safe, feels like home or comfort or whatever else eases their minds.

And Marinette should hopes so. She certainly put enough time and effort and magic and energy into the wards around this place for that to happen. To protect her and the children and all her strays that no one else will help.

But, she eventually amasses too many kids to fit into the one room. Chloé throws a fit about having to share with Mari again—“I had enough of that in university thank you very much”—but she relinquishes easily enough.

Mari buys more bunk beds, and Serrure has taken to sneaking into her room to curl up in her bed anyway, and sometimes the smaller kids who have nightmares will come in and pile on as well.

(There are only a few that Chloé will allow to do the same with her. It is considered a high honor and breeds a playful kind of jealousy that Chloé finds amusing. Mari scolds her for pitting the kids against each other.)

That only lasts them another two months.

“This is getting ridiculous,” Chloé tells her one day before the kids wake up. Mari is at the stove, cooking and baking for a small army while Chloé balances the books. “There’s not enough room for us all, DC, and the only reason someone hasn’t come barrelling down on us about the abundance of children is by the grace of your absurd amount of luck.”

“Well I can’t just kick them out, Queenie! What do you want from me?”

“Either we need to buy more real estate in this city—which I’d rather not do—or you open up the grimoire and start building pocket dimensions. I know you can. I’ve read the chapter.”

Marinette looks at her. “That is such a bad idea.”

They do the idea.

And then Mari adds about a thousand more wards to the bakery, carved into the wood and counter and anything that’s a permanent fixture. Doorways become particularly ward heavy, what with them being the entrances and exits to the hidden realms and children’s’ rooms.

The apartment above the bakery isn’t quite infinite but it gets pretty damn close some days.

This also means, of course, that all the kids definitely know about magic now. Some of them—Serrure—have known about it for a while she knows, but it’s different now. The kwami followed her around most of the time and she doesn’t keep them trapped in the Miracle Box like Fu did, but now that the kids know, they don’t bother staying hidden.

The children, at least, love them and the kwami adore them with all the ferocity a god can give. After Chloé gets over her ‘ew children’ phase, she throws herself into their education (on top of actually running the businesses Mari keeps, mind you). She has the help of the kwami, who act as personal tutors to the children, and it’s not long before the kids start to joke about her being the Principal.

(Some tried to call her Warden, but that joke didn’t last long.)

Marinette has also been telling the kids bedtime stories ever since this started. Old stories of the Guardian and Chosens who fought back the darkness, she shares all she knows of the Orders history with these kids and it’s not until Wayzz points it out to her does she realize what she’s doing.

“Ladybugs are known for renewal. It is no surprise that you are rebuilding what was lost.”

Rebuilding the Order using children was certainly not her intention but, well. She supposes there’s no place safer for her kids than what is shaping up to be the new Miracle Temple. It’s the only haven where they can learn to harness their Gifts and powers, it’s the only place where they can be surrounded by others like them without being thrust into superhero-dom.

Context: about a month into this whole circus, Marinette had realized there was a significant—almost all of them really—amount of metas and Gifted in her little hoard of strays. Which is… odd. Especially with how few metas there are in Gotham.

She had asked the kwami about it, and they have that amused look again. “You are their guardian.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re their guardian. True, you are the Guardian of us, of the ancient ways, but you are a guardian at your soul too. You protect what is yours, and they are yours whether you realise it or not. The children can sense that, so they flock to you.”

And, huh. She supposes that makes sense but that’s also really kind of strange and weird and she doesn't want to think about that anymore actually.

So things are… fine, Marinette supposes. The bakery is doing well, and she has about two dozen-plus helpers running around underfoot to help tend to the customers or run to the store or help in the back with the baking. And every kid of hers has new clothes, their street things thrown out for being too ragged and replaced with something fresh made by Marinette’s own hands.

She embroiders little fairy wings into the clothes normally, because that’s what her cloaked wards look like most times and the kids like it and its technically the logo for the bakery and there’s a million reasons she does it.

It is, perhaps, her first mistake.

(“It was certainly not your first,” Chloé will snark one dayin the future.)

Because now Marinette has an army of magical children learning to wield their powers and not fear them and they’re all wearing what can be considered her insignia and uh oh, it looks a lot like Mari is some sort of up and coming mob boss who uses kids and prostitutes and the homeless as runners. People on the street start calling her the Pixie, start referring to Chloé—her second in all things just as Chat had been her equal—as Wasp, as Yellowjacket, as the Unseelie.

(They cannot seem to pick a name for her, but Pixie is all but engraved in stone. Mari is not sure who coined it, and she doesn't think she wants to know.)

The first time the whole situation is brought to her attention, she punches the idiot who dared even imply such a thing so hard she knocks him out.

Because look. The kids are hers right? And she watches out for the people near her, makes sure the working girls are treated as well as they can be and offers the homeless extra food and a dry place to wait out the storm. She offers her hand and gives them all a place to rest, to eat, to exist without expectations or consequences.

She does that because she’s kind, because it hurts her to see people in need, to see them suffer, not because she’s hoping to gain something from it.

The fact that most of them repay her in gossip or information or bend her ear about the newest goings on in the corrupt elite or filthy underworld is strange, yes, but it’s nice to know what’s going on in the city, she supposes. And one time, Kathy, who works on the corner of Brookes and Gilmore, warned her of a drug raid that saved her an unnecessary trip to the police station so it’s not like it doesn't have it’s uses.

But mostly, Mari doesn't really think about all the information that’s unintentionally or otherwise passed onto her. She remembers it all, because it’s rude not to listen when people talk to her, but nothing comes of normally.

Not until Serrure—now twelve and well versed in the magic of illusions and glamors and knows almost as much about this city as her or the Bats—bursts into the bakery one day and grabs Mari away from the front counter right in the middle of a customer ordering. She should, perhaps, be a little angry at that but Tony, one of the older boys and just shy of sixteen, steps into her place almost immediately, so.

And then Serrure speaks and everything is pushed aside in favour of the next words to fall from his lips.

“Someone took Sophie,” he says and she nearly sees red.

After Serrure, Sophie has been here the longest. She is the youngest of them all, only seven, but oh so clever and kind and while she looks nothing like her, everyone calls her Mini-Mari. If Serrure is her beloved first son, Sophie is her treasured daughter.

She’s out the door in the next moment, storming her way to their base. She has Sophie and a handful of extra kids back by sunset, a little frightened, but no worse for wear. She doesn’t make a big deal out of it, besides making sure that the idiots who dared cross her never do so again, but word gets out.

Soon, her kids and teens and adults begin giving her more than just information, they begin giving her problems. Ones she’s meant to fix because she’s Pixie. She’s safety, she’s protection, she’s the one the people start to turn to for help.

And enter stage left, one Jason Todd who’s all snark and charm and smiles wrapped up in a nice leather bow and tall enough that Mari likely could climb him like a tree. If that was something she wanted, she guesses.

(She wants. She just won’t admit.)

He becomes a regular at the bakery and befriends most of her kids.

Mari’s wary when he first takes an interest in them. They’ve been hurt and a lot of them are still adjusting to being safe and it doesn't matter that this man is hot enough to burn, if he steps even a toe out of line with her kids she’ll make him wish he was never even born.

But, she stops worrying eventually. The kwami like him well enough, but seem to think something’s odd about him—but its Gotham, who isn’t strange?—and both Serrure and Sophie take to him like ducks to water and they’re both good judges of character.

There’s a certain intuition they both have that reminds Marinette just a bit too much about herself and pure magic. Not for the first time does she wonder if they got such strong magic from their parents or if it cropped up in them randomly, fostered by fortune and chance and the magic that’s so deeply seeped into the bones of her bakery it’ll be here long after she’s gone.

And, okay, so she was a little right to be wary because Jason was mostly there to investigate her. Far too many people respect her and are loyal to her and she has a veritable orphanage in her pocket and also Harley and Ivy like her and it just- it doesn’t look good right?

But Jason’s a good detective and it doesn't take him long at all to see that Mari is just as sweet and kind and loving as she appears to be. Not long after that, Red Hood declares Pixie and all of hers, under his protection. She, of course, is more than capable of taking care of her and hers, and the underworld knows this, has seen it, but he does it anyway.

The news, of course, gets back to Mari and she is… confused. Why would the Red Hood do something like that? She’s heard talk of him being sweet on kids, but to claim her? They’ve never even met.

Bonus points for Jason being there when she’s told about it. He kind of raises his eyebrow at her because, huh, that was fast, and then spends the next few minutes talking up the Red Hood to her much to her utter bafflement.

He actually keeps doing that too, talking up the Red Hood. Mari thinks he has a crush on the man for the longest time because of it. Until he reveals he is Red Hood, then she just wants to punch his stupidly handsome face for being such an idiot.

Shit happens from there and things go down and the two spend a couple of months dancing around each other and intentionally and unintentionally ruling the criminal underworld and at one point Marinette definitely punches Bruce and Batman in the face—separately, much to Jason’s unending joy—and she also definitely adopts Duke/Signal as well because that poor boy needs to know he’s not alone.

And it’s just them being domestic and badass and lowkey raising an army of children and falling in love while the kwami and the kids and Chloé are all in the background just yelling at them to get together already!

Which, they do. Eventually. After all the secrets come out and Jason knows about the magic and Order and meets Mari’s other friends, ie Kagami, Luka and Adrien who are all intimidating for wildly different reasons. And Mari finds out that Jason died and came back (which earns him the nickname firebird btw) and that he was a Robin once upon a time but is now Red Hood and oh my kwami it all makes sense now.

Jason confesses like three times via classic Victorian romance novel quotes because he’s a fucking literature nerd but it’s not until he basically spells it out for Mari does she really understand. it’s all very sweet and heartwarming and then the pair duck into one of the empty pocket dimensions they have lying around and aren’t seen for three days.

(No one really goes to look for them tbh)

Chloé definitely teases them about early honeymoons and things but besides the two being even more ridiculously lovey-dovey than usual, life goes back to normal. Or as normal as it gets for them. 

And they all live happily ever after the end.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

The Red Hood (Part 1)

Summary: While on a job, the reader runs into The Red Hood. She discovers his true identity to be Dean Winchester from one of the wealthiest families in the city. She knows he’s made a few enemies and tries to take advantage of that fact to get something she needs in return...

Masterlist

Pairing: Vigilante!Dean x criminal!reader

Word Count: 1,500ish

Warnings: language, fighting

A/N: Enjoy!

________

“Oh, crap,” you said, feeling the binding around your torso. You thought you’d made it out clean. But if it was someone using a gadget like that, it wasn’t any security guard. You grunted as you saw a figure emerge from the shadows, a hood up and a mask covering his eyes. “Let me walk and you can have the money.”

“Not my style,” he said. He walked over carefully, tilting his head at you. His cautious approach stopped when he suddenly stepped over and ripped the mask covering your face off. You scowled at him but he simply stared. “I’m taking you in.”

He bent down and you used the opportunity to swing your legs up and wrap around his neck. He went wide eyed and glared at you but you smirked.

“Goodnight Mr. Vigilante,” you said. He tried pulling you off but he lost consciousness quickly. You let him drop to the ground and moved your leg back, managing to grab the knife in your boot. You sliced through the lower bindings and eventually got the ropes off. You almost left when you saw the unconscious Red Hood on the ground. It wouldn’t hurt to have a little blackmail after all. You pulled out your phone and pushed down his hood, ripping off the mask over his eyes. You took a few pictures of the man, something familiar about him.

You grinned when you recognized him as the ward of the biggest tech company in the city. 

If you played your cards right, a week from now you’d be loaded and sipping mai tais on the beach, never having to worry about pulling a job ever again.

“Shit!” you shouted the next evening, jumping straight back into your counter. The Red Hood was standing silently at the edge of your kitchen, narrowing his eyes at you. He threw down a manila envelope on the counter and stalked over to you.

“I don’t negotiate with criminals,” he said.

“I don’t think it’d look too good if Dean Winchester were to be found out as The Red Hood. With all the crimes you’ve committed yourself. I bet that’d ruin a few of your family’s contracts,” you said. You reached up to grab his hood when he caught your wrist. “I felt I was very generous with my offer.”

“Fifty million is generous?” he scoffed. He shoved your wrist away and put his back to you, tugging his hood back. He slipped his eye mask down around his neck and glanced over his shoulder. “I should throw you in prison.”

“For stealing from rich people? They can afford it just like you can afford this. Take it out of your trust fund. I bet no one would even notice,” you said.

“What do you need that much money for?”

“What do you need it for? None of your business.”

“The answer is no.”

“Then I guess your photo of you out cold at a crime scene in your little costume will be on the news very, very shortly.”

“It’s an excessive amount,” he said.

“Your family is billionaires. You got the cash.”

“I can’t move that much without red flags.”

“Figure it out.”

“I could just make you disappear,” he said, stepping in front of you. “You couldn’t stop me.”

“You only murder the bad guys and unfortunately for you, I just steal things and knock people out. It’s not justified. Your old partner, that bat guy, even he didn’t kill people,” you said.

“He let me down, more than once. I do things the way they need to be done,” he said. “Don’t think because you’re a woman you get special treatment.”

“Wouldn’t expect it,” you said. “Give me my money and you will never hear from me again.”

“Five million.”

“No way.”

“Five million a month for the next ten months,” he said. “It won’t raise too many eyes. I can justify a cost for that.”

“Fifty. One payment,” you said, crossing your arms.

“What the hell do you need with that much money?”

“Maybe I want to donate to charity. It’s not your concern. You have three days to get my money into that bank account. If you don’t, you and your entire family’s business are going down. Have I made myself clear?”

“I will find all copies and when I do, you’re gonna have a big problem. Count on it.”

He went out your back door and you rolled your eyes, already making plans to have extra copies out there just in case.

Three Days Later

“You’re good,” said Marcus. You stared at him and he smiled. “You’re clean kid. Debt repaid with interest. Your family is safe again. Any interest in working for me again? You’ll get to keep some of the profits now.”

“I’m not meant for this line of work,” you said. “Lose my number?”

“You’re not as bad as you think. Just got a pesky conscious. Enjoy retirement,” he said. You hummed and quickly left, taking a deep breath. 

Half an hour later you were heading to the airport with five million dollars in your bank account and ready to go start over.

Two Days Later

“Nice view,” said a voice behind you. You sat up from your chair by the pool, staring up at Dean as he smiled. “Nice house. A little smaller than I was expecting for fifty million dollars in the bank. If you had fifty million that was. More like five now, hm?”

“I still have copies,” you said as he sat in the chair beside you.

“Oh, I know,” he said, stealing your drink. “Whoa, fruity and a lot of rum.”

“What do you want?”

“My plan was to hunt you down and get my money back and get you to give up the copies and get you thrown in prison. But I’ve had a change of heart.”

“Really. Just like that.”

“If you told me innocent lives were in danger, I could have been a lot nicer. Marcus is an unforgiving criminal. But even he could let a mistake go for forty five million, right?”

“I owed him ten. The thirty five was interest. I screwed up a job when I wouldn’t kill a guard. He lost the pay. I started working for him most every night to pay it off. If I didn’t, he’d deal with my family over on the other coast. He’s connected enough to have them watched. For forty five million, they are safe.”

“Sounds like you owe me five million dollars,” he said, holding out his hand. “Fork it over.”

“I can’t live there anymore. I need to be out of that city,” you said.

“You’ll come back eventually. But you owe me five million dollars,” he said. You dropped your head and sighed, resting your head in your hands. “Or you can give me every single copy of the photos and agree to never steal another thing in your life and in exchange, I will pretend you didn’t take five million for yourself.”

“Are you serious?” you said, snapping your head up. He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes behind his sunglasses. “Why would you do that?”

“Why didn’t you tell Marcus who I was? That would have cleared whatever you owed and then some,” he said. You shrugged and he smiled. “I have a sneaking suspicion you’re a good person. Don’t worry, I won’t tell the other criminals.”

You reached to your left and grabbed your phone, deleting the picture and then permanently deleting it again.

“You never had copies,” he said.

“Nope. You could have taken my phone and that would have been that.”

“Then I guess that settles that,” he said. “Nice place to retire to.”

“Yup,” you said.

“Mind if I crash here? Considering I bought this place and all.”

“Why are you staying here?”

“I did something yesterday. My old partner called me up, told me I ought to take a break for a bit. He had some valid points,” he said. “No one’s ever knocked me out before.”

“I have many skills,” you said. He chuckled and stretched out his body.

“I bet you do. So am I staying?”

“You can stay if you get me a refill,” you said, taking the glass from him and drinking the rest of the liquid. You held it out to him and he sat up.

“Alright. Don’t go running off on me again.”

“I think this time I’ll stay put.”

“Glad to hear it, sweetheart.”

“For now.”

“Oh really? Where you thinking of going?”

“Home to Gotham. Eventually,” you said. He stared at you and glanced down, nodding to himself.

“How about a nice vacation in the meantime?” he asked.

“After you. Sweetheart.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 2 here!