#(thank you again roya!)
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🎶, 🎀 and 🌅
fic writing ask game!
Thanks for the emojis, Roya! ❤️
Answers are below 👇
🎶 do you write with music? does the music you’re listening to influence your writing?
(Sometimes! Also, depending on the vibe of the story, it does, lol. I write a lot of fluff, and my overall writing style has a lot of heart to it, so I tend to listen to a lot of upbeat and cute songs when writing / thinking about writing.)
🎀 how do you decide when something is done?
(Something is done when I come up with a conclusion for it that feels right to me. Basically, when I say so, lol.)
🌅 do you typically know the ending to something before you start writing it?
(YES, I DO. I NEED to know. I usually don't start a story until I have some sort of idea as to how it's going to end.)
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You've encountered a yeehaw!
Thank you for the outstanding art Roya! Can't get over how amazing your stuff is, glad to get something with you again!
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Hey bestie! How do you think hw aemond, jace and hogwarts aemond,jace, and aegon would be with reader who gets horrible menstrual cramps? And weird food cravings too if you can (I just smeared some tomate paste on a rice cake after spending some time in fetal position thanks to my cramps). Feel free to add any other character you like. I'd love see your thoughts on this. Thanks in advance 💙 Love you
The Five Boyfriends - Collect Them All
Pairings: Jacaerys x Reader, Aemond x Reader (bookcanon and showcanon), Aegon x Reader;
Warnings: None! This is very much crackfic material
Author's Note: I hope you're feeling better and aren't cramping too much, Heart Nonny! Please have some fun headcanons in these trying times <33
For the sake of this post, you're in an etablished relationship with all of them, okay? Okay.
The "Harshest Winters" Gang:
☆ Jacaerys Velaryon (Strong) ☆
He would 100% join you in your insanity when it comes to weird food combinations
HE'S LITERALLY SO SO ATTENTIVE
Jace would do anything to ensure you're comfortable.
You need to lay down? Let him bring you some more pillows--
You need more pelts so you get warmer? He's already on it.
If you tell him you're in pain due to your cramps, he highkey panics like no tomorrow
HE IS NOT EQUIPPED FOR THAT, OKAY? HE HAS 4 YOUNGER BROTHERS, HOW COULD HE KNOW WHAT THAT ENTAILS FOR YOUR HEALTH AND HAPPINESS
Calls seven maesters in before you can even tell him your discomfort is not life and death related;
They end up giving you something to aid your heavy flow, though, so it's not all that bad.
"I love you so, so much, my sweet love. I just want you to know that."
"Jace, calm down, I'm not dying."
Will keep a hand over your lower abdomen and gently apply pressure to take the edge off your pain;
His skin is literally burning up all the time (a Prince of the "blood of the dragon", indeed), and he gives the best hugs in the Seven Kingdoms.
Feel free to use him as your personal radiator any day at any time!
Will drop anything to stay in bed with you, and will encourage you to just relax while he does all the work.
He'll nonchalantly ask his mother tips on things he can do for you while you're going through your monthly cycle.
1000/10 he broke the wholesome scale long ago.
"I could never imagine going through such a thing. And every month...? I know lords who faint at the sight of a small cut - you must be the bravest person I know, my love."
Stan Jace he just loves you so much and he will do anything for you, even if you don't ask him to.
☆ Aemond Targaryen ☆
I hope you like period sex 😍😚
No. I'm not joking.
He read ten books on the subject of female anatomy, and each recommends sex as a way "to ease the maiden's pain"
He lays the question as something that would just help you feel better
But let's face it
This mf is gross and would have you 24/7, no matter the state you're in
Just tell him he can have sex with you and he's up and ready to go
Please???
Please tell him you want to have sex with him.
Would still eat you out
1000%
Even if you're against the idea, did you hear him stutter???
"You know better than anyone else how much blood I've seen throughout my life. I won't faint at the sight of yours. So just lay down and let me take care of it."
"Nope. No way."
Homeboy is flabbergasted when he sees you eat your corn bread with bitter wine and mustard.
He still supports you, although he greatly encourages you to not try anything too weird, so that your stomach pains don't become worse.
He gets really pissy if you ignore his advice.
But he'll just whisk your hair away from your face as you eat, and gently caress your skin.
He made the mistake to argue with you while you were on your period once, and he instantly regretted it.
Never again, he learnt his lesson.
If you're clingy with him during your monthly blood flow, Aemond will drop everything just to stay in bed with you.
He's an attention whore, and just wants you all to himself.
Your period is his excuse to keep you attached to his hip, and ignore all his royal duties to take care of you.
"Just so you know... If you were swelling with my child, you woudn't have to go through this."
The HotD Main Three:
☆ Jacaerys Velaryon ☆
Jace is an absolute sweetheart, in any universe I insert him in;
Much of his behaviour with you will be the same as his HW counterpart;
He will skip class with you, so that you may relax in his dorm, no questions asked.
He puts some elevator music on his IPhone while you guys chill in bed;
Gets you some of those nifty magical pills that subdue your cramps and give you a lot of energy to start your day right.
You have any cravings?? ALRIGHT BET
He sneaks into the Kitchens and makes you whatever you want;
Homeboy's a chef - he will bibbidi bobbidi boo you anything, just say the word.
Hypes you tf up and tells you you're the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, if you feel bloated or uncomfortable in your skin.
Once again, you can't go wrong by choosing Jace.
☆ Aemond Targaryen ☆
Because you guys don't get to see each other much throughout the day (different schedules and all that jazz), Aemond sort of figures out you're on your monthly cycle when he escorts you from your Dorm to the Great Hall.
You don't look bad, or behave any differently - but your expression slightly changes while you guys descend the stairs.
And he instantly knows you're hurting somewhere.
He questions you sharply on your current state and doesn't falther even once.
"Aemond, relax, I'm just on my... thing, you know?"
"Thing?"
"... My period."
"... Oh."
He carries you down the stairs (he won't accept a no for an answer), and constantly asks if he can do anything else for you.
His momma raised him right, and he has an older sister - unlike Jace, he knows exactly what he's doing, and revels in showing you that.
Can you see? Can you see how good he's being for you???
Doesn't that make you think he'd be the perfect husband for you?
Cough cough
Lowkey gets overprotective of you and keeps a hand over yours the whole night.
He gives a lot of nasty stares to any student who eyes you funny while you're doing your lil food combos;
If you offer to make him the same thing you're eating, he's accept without a second thought.
Even if the food is TERRIBLE, he'll put on the best mf performance of his life to make you feel good.
"This is really good."
"Really?? Would you like one more slice?"
"... Sure. I'd love one more."
... Fun fact: Hogwarts!Aemond has a very sensitive stomach.
By the time he reached his dorm with his usual large steps and impassive expression, the green of his tie matched the hue on his face.
He's a simp tho
So he'd do it all over again, if it meant seeing you so happy
☆ Aegon Targaryen ☆
You're on your period? :D
So you can have unprotected sex with him, is what he's hearing
No? That's not what it means????
OH COME ON MAN
Many many many bad jokes
He won't stop making them, no matter how many times you tell him to chill
"I'd dip my fry into your ketchup packet."
"OH MY GOD-"
Side eye
SIDE MF EYE
He gives you many stupid pet names that make you want to roll your eyes at him, but that end up making you laugh instead;
They include: "my lil red tube paint", "my lil arts and crafts project", "my squishy jelly filled doughnut" etc.
Aegon is a foodie, and his dorm is perfectly placed for certain nightly escapades.
He'll break into the Kitchens with you at midnight, and make as many food combos with you as you'd like;
If you feel like skipping class, he'll stay in with you lmao
But tbh he skips class almost every day, so is your period really the reason he dipped on Herbology?
#aemond targaryen#aemond x reader#the harshest winters#aemond fanfiction#jacaerys x reader#jacaerys strong#aemond imagine#jacaerys valaryon#aegon x reader#house of the dragon#aegon targaryen#jacaerys imagine#jace x reader#aegon imagine#jace x you#aegon x you#aemond x you#big three hotd#house of the dragon hogwarts au#mina's asks
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Thank you for the amazing support on Dark Nights. We reached past 100%! Roya & Chain are funded + secret route. All sprites get a revamp. This is all made possible with your help. I initially thought only one route gets funded. Since Chain is ahead in the voting. January 31st is his birthday so I planned this drawing for a celebration.
I got many questions about how long the development will take. For sure it won't be nearly 6 years again, haha. I already started with writing scripts and planning. Ideally, I hope to finish it around Dark Night's anniversary (31st October) but that is the earliest I can think of. Although, quality goes above speed. I hope to deliver a good experience!
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//notice only answer at the 25th
Unfeazant mail
Delibird mail 2x
Each of the packages have a note to them...
'hey vanilla dude! Merry delibird day! Me and razer wanted to pitch in for you and cross something since I heard that my brother and sister were planning the same thing! Anyways you best take it easy dude! The one for you I had help with.'
There are 2 packages! Cross obtained a RC crane truck that seems to be a model that originates {Poke germany} it also has a special motor too! and you obtained an acoustic guitar!
'greetings mx.vanilla it's a wonderful day for me to give this to you joyeuse journée delibird! Also I must say to the bottom of my frost drive core.... Thank you so much for helping Martini with her trauma, and most importantly thank you for having me finally meet 01. I would not even know of them being at the same event weren't for you.'
Obtained a never melt ice Statue of a hisuian zoura!
'merry delibird day vanilla, I hope you and Tula , and the others are fairing well in Unova.
"we both decided to get you something and after a good bit of arguing (as usual) we both agreed to this!"
"Enjoy this as much as we did getting this. (And asking a favor from Anastasia and her going overboard....again.)" '
Obtained... An exosuit armor!? huh it looks like it's H.zoura themed too with the size dimensions being made just for you!
@amperage-speedway @snowbell-glass-bar @wyrdo01
Oh gosh, I wake up and the front door’s covered in packages… I can’t believe all three of you sent something along! Tackling these one-by-one.
Amperage: Cross loves the crane, firstly! Even if she keeps eyeing the… I think the package said an exosuit…? Wyrdo and Roya sent on the side. Not sure what inspired you on the guitar, but I’m tempted to try it out so long as my claws don’t snip the strings! Not very musically inclined, but… I don’t know, might be nice to have an excuse to just belt songs out! Besides, kind of romantic. Again, thank you so much! Happy holidays, and I’m positive I’m running into you again at some point.
Glass: Oh, please, don’t worry about thanking me for any of that! Martini’s a joy to meet with. And meeting Wyrdo was a really good coincidence! Still, I can’t say I don’t appreciate the statue! Going to have to get it a case so nobody tries to chew on it or “improve” it… looking at Vanillite and Momo, here. But it’s got such impressive craftsmanship! Happy holidays!!
Wyrdo & Roya: Oh arc, I cannot believe you sent this of all things? (Not in a bad way!) I felt a little bad for the poor Pelipper, gave her some extra berries and water. But what a beauty it is! I… don’t know how you got my exact dimensions, but it really does fit perfectly. The ear pop-outs are a nice touch too! I have… no idea where I’m going to use it. More of a “hope you don’t need to” thing. But I feel super powerful in it! It’s like I’m Essentia or something! Oh, or maybe I’m some future paradox… Iron Mirage? Anyways, it’s gorgeous! I’ll have to take a picture in it at some point, and definitely send something back to thank you! Happy holidays!
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『 Thunderstorm comforts 』
Ocs featured: Roya Callistis, Gwendolyn Schnee(@starry-night-rose), Davidson Novellion, Noor Jawahir(@windbornearchon)
Synopsis: Roya hasn't seen Gwen since the storm started.... Where is she?
Warning(s): Implications of trauma, thunderstorm, Davis being an annoying fuck /j , potentially ooc
{ Apologies for any out of character moments }
[ Reblogs > Likes ]
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▹ †𝆤࿙๋࿙࿚⊱♚⊰࿙࿚๋࿚𝆤† Roya Callistis, the fallen prince
Where is she?
That was what Roya thought, constantly wandering the halls of his own castle just to search for Gwen.
His beautiful Gwen.
“I haven't seen her ever since the storm…” Roya murmured, furrowing his eyebrows as he continued walking.
He soon ran into Noor and Davis.
Pursing his lips, he awkwardly approached the two of them. In response, Davis audibly clicked his tongue before Noor could give him a look of amused disapproval.
“Um…” Roya thought about what he was going to say before continuing. “Have you two seen Gwen?”
Before Davis could open his mouth and make a sarcastic comment, Noor replied to Roya.
“Sorry, Roy-Roy, but we haven't,” she said, soon deciding to cover Davis' mouth before he could say…. Anything. “Alas, it appears you also haven't seen her.”
Davis rolled his eyes. “Wow, Noor, thanks for stating the obvious,” his words were muffled, but Noor's hand wasn't enough for Roya to not be able to understand what his cousin was saying.
“Ignore that,” Noor interrupted. “Why are you looking for Gwen, anyway? Would've thought you two and your lovesick puppy following would always be together.”
Sure, Roya narrowed his eyes when Noor called him and Gwen ‘lovesick puppies’. And yes, he may have blushed a little when she said they'd always be around each other.
But at that moment, that was the least of his worries.
“I'm afraid that isn't the case at the moment,” though flustered, Roya's vocabulary remained the same. “I haven't seen her since the start of the thunderstorm.”
Humming, Noor began pondering why that was the case. All of a sudden, in an effort to remove her hand from his mouth, Davis licked the back of it before making a beeline past Roya.
Gasping in horror, Noor began following him. “GET BACK HERE, ASSHOLE-” she stopped herself from following him to tell Roya:
“Hope you find your snow queen, snow king.”
And with that, she began running across the castle halls towards Davis, determined to get vengeance for him licking the back of her hand.
Roya watched her chase after his cousin until they were out of his line of sight. When that happened, he sighed, looking at the ground.
I wonder….. Roya thought. Where could she be?
He had already searched most parts of the castle that she frequents. Such as: The kitchen, the outside gardens(or at least what can be seen of it from the inside), the indoor gardens, his room….
And then it hit him. There was one part of the castle that he had yet to search.
Gwen's guest room.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
Roya blushed in embarrassment as he entered Gwen's room. It wasn't because he witnessed something embarrassing, but rather he was embarrassed about intruding on her personal quarters.
He made sure to remind himself to apologize to Gwen for intruding once he found her.
As he opened the door, he heard a thump.
Flinching ever so slightly, the weight of the holster on his waist suddenly became prevalent in Roya's subconscious.
But then….
“Ah- Ow…”
His guard lowered, hearing a familiar, soft, and sheepish voice. “Gwen?” he called out curiously.
He was replied to with silence.
He called out again. “Gwen?”
Silence yet again. Before he could utter her name a third time, he heard a soft sob.
From Gwen's voice, under the bed.
Immediately, Roya checked under the bed, to find Gwen curled up underneath - tears falling down her cheeks as she hugged her knees.
“.... Gwen?”
Suddenly, Gwen looked Roya in the eye. “R-Roya!” she finally said, wiping any tears on her face to hastily leave the bottom of the bed.
“U-Um…” Both of them knew she was struggling to say something. “Y-You weren't supposed to see that-”
She was pulled into a hug by Roya. A tight, yet comforting, hug.
And the tears filled the brim of her eyes once more.
“.... Are you okay?” Roya asked, pulling away and gently grasping Gwen's shoulders. “Did something happen?”
Remaining ever so sheepish, Gwen hesitantly shook her head. “I-It's fine…”
Roya frowned. “Gwen, you and I both know that it isn't fine.”
“R-Roya please,” she stepped back, turning her back on him and looking down at the carpet. “I-I don't want to argue over-”
The sound of thunder booming cut her off. In an instant, Gwen was down on her knees, covering her ears for dear life.
Quiet, vulnerable sobs were what Roya heard next.
And that was when he realized - Why she hadn't been seen ever since the thunderstorm started.
“Gwen…,” he went on one knee, pulling her close to his chest. “... Are you afraid of the lightning?”
Gwen gulped, nearing the brink of breaking down into sobs. “I-I-”
The crackles of thunder soon returned, and she felt her breath hitch while grabbing onto Roya as if her life depended on it.
Saddened by her current state, Roya repositioned himself in a way that had Gwen on his lap while he sat on the ground, holding her close to his chest.
“Hey….” his voice was but a whisper. Soft, gentle. “It's okay… I'm here..”
She sobbed into his shoulder, all the more afraid of the thunder that kept on crackling as the moment went on.
Roya let out a breath, rubbing circles on Gwen's back as he shushed her into a state of comfort.
“Shhh…” he could care less about the tears that stained his clothes. At the moment, Gwen and her feelings were what mattered.
He kissed the top of her head.
“It's going to be okay.”
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Taglist(Pls inform if I forgot anyone!)
🥥 @starry-night-rose • @windbornearchon • @authoruio • @sakuramidnight15 • @fumikomiyasaki • @nem0-nee
@revolllutionary @celiica @oseathepebble @twsted-princess @geminiiviolets @vivaresmala @vaporvipermedia @crazyyanderefangirlfan @spadecentral
#rosie comeback WOOOOOO#hope you enjoy this one ellis 😈#twisted wonderland oc#twst oc#noor jawahir#davidson novellion#davis novellion#roya callistis#rsa oc#nrc oc#twst nrc#twst rsa#oc x oc#gwen x roya#roya x gwen#gwendolyn schnee
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Hi!! Could I please get one mb for the name Mira and another for the name Roya? I also just want to let you know how happy I am your inbox is open again 🎉🎉
hii !!!! thank u for ur excitement !! your mbs are posted, hope you like them <33333
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Umm.. I'm like a really big fan of Dark Nights and it was my first otome game. And honestly Roya absolutely won my heart...
So I just wanted to ask whether you'd ever think of writing a storyline for him incase the target for donations isn't met?
Rn Chain is leading the polls by a huge majority and I don't think Roya will be able to get enough votes for him. That's not to say that I don't like Chain tho...
And thank you for creating such a wonderful game. I absolutely loved it ❤️❤️
Thank you for this lovely message. I'm delighted to hear that you enjoyed the game this much. The project campaign is my final decision in the course of this project. However, I do plan to write & draw all concepts I have in mind for Roya if his storyline is not funded. The content is less than a full route, but I'm sure it will fill your curiosity about his character. It was such a joy writing about the Kenriji family so I'll surely touch on it again.
Chain still holds a lot of mysteries so I understand that a lot people vote for him. Regardless of the outcome, it'll be my pleasure to work on the new route.
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Good morning people of Kalos and rotomblr. I have returned back to snowbelle city and my bar, alongside a few guests. My line mate of my line and their romantic partner, 01 and Roya, will be here while I open up the bar finally again
Wyrdo: we won't be here for long but it's nice to see what my sister unit is doing around here. I say this is a nice place.
Thank you. I keep at it's best as much as I am able.
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Hydroelectric rocket science part final
(Roya a few minutes later comes back into the workshop with wyrdo's team, who are all fully healed up and moving fit as a fiddle. as for keystone's scarf and Judi's sun hat, the two still wore them despite the terrible state they're both in. Roya's Pokemon followed alongside the group with interest of the team her robotic pal has before she spoke up upon entering the cave)
"Alright y'all I'm back, are they done yet!?" Roya shouted as the Pokémon looked towards to where she was shouting at
"almooost done just gotta put the power source in the chest..." Anastasia answered slowly sliding a blue Electirizer inside a chest cavity before slamming it shut "there all done! Now just to get them to wake up!"
(Anastasia walks up to the head of the water powered robot and shakes it a little, it then turned on with lines of code rapidly scrolling through triangular LCD screen)
Booting..... Camera System and main control system online. Boot up completed. Now activating WYD-01.
(The screen flashes into blue as the boot up of the robot completed, and then turned into a very polygonal eye)
.....ooooo good arceus how long was I asleep? Wyrdo's head asked groggily as their Pokémon team gathered around the head happy that they're doing fine
"Hey water bucket how's that beauty sleep of yours went?" Roya questioned with a smirk on her face and wyrdo eye made a simple glare though not Turing into a red color.
Pretty well till ya showed your prickly arse here- wydro stopped speaking when they swore. "Fuck yeah that stupid filter is gone!"
"Aw and I was starting to like it..." Roya commented with a disappointed tone to her voice
"Can it ya fuckin prick." Wyrdo spat back
"Well with that out of the way, Mister wyrdo the body is ready to go for you to connect again" Anastasia's assistant said pointing to the dormant parts of wyrdo's body.
Oh right! Power on to all systems!
(The head began to float as the body parts began to glow and float to the head-water forming the limbs of their body and began to dance with electricity once more. Wyrdo is now whole again.)
Oi now this feels a whole lot more betta now! Wyrdo laughed with the eye turning green.
(They then look at their team who had various emotions in on the faces of each of them, magic with their usual grin is instead replaced a conflicted grimace, keystone and judi with a more happier look, mah dude with his usual mood, dredge and potlid with no face simply expressing relief through there body language.)
I'm glad you guys are all OK now, I just hope you all accept my apology on what the hell happened throughout all of this, especially you magic. I'm sorry I shocked you during the whole thing, that was rash of me to do so...
(Magic stayed quiet before they rubbed their face on the bots head making them both feel lifted a weight on their chest since they've gotten here then the rest(axing out keystone) followed and piled up on them)
Oi wait- OW! HEY DON'T-OOF DREDGE NO- GAH!!!
(Roya, her pokemon and everyone present laughed at the whole thing unfolding between the robot and their team.)
A half an hour later
(Wyrdo's team later returned to their balls as soon as they left Kepler city and thanking the gym leader for fixing them. Roya and her pokemon followed the robot to the Maelstrom 9 trench dock as she was holding a pokeball with a delta symbol on it)
"Soo water Bucket now that we are alone I got something to ask ya before you swim back home." Roya said while tugging on her turtleneck's collar before sitting down on the edge of the dock
That being? Wyrdo asked curious in what she has to say
"Recently I've been thinking about going back to the main regions since while I was happy being here I wanted... I wanted to spend some time with ya for a bit. So if you don't mind... Can I go with you?" Roya asked anxious for their response
"What's this? Roya actually taking a liking to me? Now What kind of dark magic took over ya?" Wyrdo playfully asked
(Roya scowled with a slight blush on her face as she whacked wyrdo on the head)
"Oh go you can go fuck RIGHT OFF with that you bolts for brains!!!" She shouted as her pokemon laughed at her much to her ire
(Wyrdo laughed as they rubbed their head on where she whacked them at)
I'm fucking with you Roya! I'm sodin Messin with ya! Haha haaaa... Wyrdo said as they calmed down
But seriously why the hell not, it does be getting lonely back where I live as well without anyone else to talk to aside from the misdreavus and my team, and occasionally the recently new friends I made a bit ago (even though they sort of don't really count.) Wyrdo answered with much more honesty than their previous response.
"Then its settled I'm coming with ya then, I just need to get the paperwork for both galar and unova." Roya smiled then she looked at the pokeball she was holding
"Oh right! By the way I have this for you"
(She handed out the ball to the water limb machine as they took it from her hand and looked at the ball)
I'm guessing this is a Delta you're giving me?
"Yep its a Delta pawniard"
Sweet though... Wyrdo with uncertainty
"Don't worry I already had that problem covered with Anastasia."
Oh OK thats good for a second there I would be worried I would have to deal with paperwork AGAIN. Wyrdo sighed in relief upon hearing the answer
"Yeah well those hands will just ruin the damn paper work anyhow." Roya rolled her eyes as she stated this
Obviously why else would I hate it anyways? Wyrdo replied looking off to the sea
"Fair point." Roya simply said before looking off to the sea as well
(An hour later the 2 (with roya using a sharpedo to surf) set off to the ocean... With more bickering to boot)
Lost in the ocean Arc end
#ic#pokemon irl#pokeblogging#unreality#rotomblr#irl pokemon#off rotumblr rp#roya the ex rainbow rocket#lost in the ocean arc#//ooc finally got this to end!#//ooc fuck im tired as hell tho so im not doing this again for a good while#irl pkmn#//ooc anyways wyrdo and roya will be both availble here till i deicide to make a new blog for roya alone
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1, 6 and 10 ( for the vocaloid ask game )
Vocaloid Ask Game 💙
AAA, THANK YOU, ROYA!!! 😭 ✨️ Answers are below 👇 .
1. How did you get into vocaloid? (BY WATCHING THE LIVE CONCERTS ONLINE OVER AND OVER AGAIN WHEN I WAS A TWEEN!!!)
These ones were my favs + are overall iconic:
youtube
youtube
6. Favorite vocaloid song? (POPIPO BY MISS. HATSUNE OH MY GOSH UR SO TALENTED MIKU!!! IT WAS MY RINGTONE FOR A REALLY LONG TIME ON MY PHONE!!!)
youtube
10. Do you make songs, art, or fanfics relating to vocaloid? (I've written headcanons! You can find them here. <3
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This was written last year, I'm just clearing my notes app at this point :). The idea to write something like this was suggested by a friend of mine. Feel free to give suggestions/comments or anything you think I need to improve.
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Fortuity
She was dragged across the throne room floor and thrown at someone's feet. Lifting herself up she looked into the face of the man she met in the woods the night before. The same man who kissed her. She stood dumbstruck staring at his gorgeous face. "Master" the soldier who brought her, bowed low and left.
The momentary trance she was in, broke. Her eyes travelling across the throne room. Large velvety curtains hanging on the vast glass window, which faced the royal garden and a distant marble fountain. She saw a magnanimous chandelier dangling right above her. The sunlight reflecting on its every glass making it more heavenly than it already was. Lastly she noticed the colossal throne, right at the far end of the room. It emitted royal radiance. The whole room was magnificent. It was a feast for her peasant eyes. She knew this could be the last day her feet walked the earth. The sin she had done yesterday was worth losing her life on. She wanted to take it all in before the last breath left her lung. Which she did, but while her awestruck being watched the winsome hues of the various flowers in the garden, it failed to comprehend that one entity who had set his gaze at her.
He was not interested in the hues neither the sparkly water of the fountain. Her sinless reactions were far more amusing than the bewitching sight of the mighty room. Never had he seen such captivating appeal in a woman ever. He had noticed her before in the town. Selling fruits and vegetable. Everyday he would just take his chariot and stop there to buy something. A petty excuse to watch her, bargaining with the customers in a demanding way. Her eyes gave away so much more than just surprise when he had kissed her the day before. Her lips did things, it arose feelings which might put both him and her in danger. The moonlight, yesterday did absolute justice to those minute stars captured in her eyes and he couldn't help himself.
Yesterday, she had jumped in front him and faced the feral animal. Even in that perilous situation his nose did not fail to catch the intoxicating whiff of her hair. The vicious animal had bared its teeth and let out a merciless growl, its glowering eyes fixed at the weapon in her hand. Not for once did she budge or tremble. The courage she showed was spectacular. At some point the animal knew the hunt had failed so it roared again towards the heavens and left. Clearly accepting defeat.
They were still transfixed, bodies latched tight together, backed to a thick mahogany branch in the middle of the forest. The sun was setting low on the horizon giving out a warm glow. She turned towards the roya, her breathing jagged, the steely gaze leaving her eyes, replacing with a certain warmth. She found out the man she protected was a royal. The heir to the throne nonetheless. Not only did she do the heinous act of touching a royal but looking at him right in the eye. She couldn't say anything, fear slowly emerging in the pit of stomach. She was nothing in front of his strong built and gleaming. It would take him a minute to end her life her. No one would know. Her body would lay abandoned forever in the mercy of the spirits of the forest.
She slowly started backing away, hoping to break into a run once she was in a considerable distance. In a flash he grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards him engulfing her in his tight embrace. His heart, although found solace in this action, a newfound need clouded his rational mind. "Thank you" he had whispered. When he pulled away she just stood there clutching her heart. Her breathing uneven, eyes wary. He knew, she felt it too. The want, it was swirling in her eyes, he could see it. She wanted him as much as he wanted her.
The moon was now shining to its full glory, the stars twinkling in the sky. The gleam of the moon settled specifically the spot where the peasant woman and the royal stood. He could no longer deny himself the pleasure of having her lips on his. He took a stride towards her and kissed her. She, thoroughly shaken by his act, pushed him hard in his chest. He, unable to maintain his balance, fell hard on the forest floor. She gasped. She could hear death bells ringing. She was now to be beheaded. Her stomach dropped at the thought of her punishment at the cost of her protecting her virtue.
It was now dawn. She sighed heavily. Her breath was solemn. She glanced upon the royal who had a smile brightening his features. His eyes were distant. She grew impatient. Isn't she here to be punished? Wasn't she brought here in front of the royal to pay for her follies?
She had heard from the villagers that the sinners were beheaded right before dawn. Dawn is long gone now. Is she being spared? She had countless questions flooding her mind but she dared not to utter a syllable.
The royal finally came back to his senses and looked at her. Just like yesterday he strode towards her in all his royal glory. She started backing only to find herself blocked by the very vast window, now overlooking a heavenly sight of a moonlit garden. The royal slowly lowered his face towards her fear stricken face. He cupped her face with his large hands and whispered, with eyes full of affection.. " I missed you ".
#writerscommunity#writeblr#writers and poets#writers on tumblr#original writing#original story#short story#idk what else to tag
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Then there's Junoru's father. I love his emotional response when the kids ask if they can have a brother. He's cute. I wonder if I'll ever see him again. I'm glad Junoru has inherited most of his father's beauty. And why is he and juju's mother one in heaven and the other in hell? Is it because father did something worse?
Finally, how did Blace and Jace become who they are? What's the story of their scars? Perhaps you will add their details in the dlc?
Again, thank you very much for the story you described and the beautiful drawing and your patient answer. You are a very nice person.
You will see Junoru's father in Roya's route again. The story is from Roya's perspective on his family.
So why did Hanaru end up in heaven and Dezem in hell? Spoiler: Jace was ordered to kill the mother, so she got sent to heaven. Blace could only send people to hell and was ordered to kill Dezem. He didn't do anything worse.
The story of Blace and Jace are explored in Roya's route if you choose certain menu choices. In the DLC, I add everything that wasn't explored in the main game. Hopefully, this answers your curiosities.
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thank you
I understood about my environment, some of my colleagues are aware of my project themselves or a project but I know that some of my company's head office are aware and they don't like me. They can't say anything because it's espionage it's forbidden to watch social networks it's against the law. I leave myself the end of the year (to finance my project) thank you again.
@roya-ossa
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omg ok so idk how many im allowed to ask for the otp ask game thingy BUT if this is too many just do the ones you really want:D (SORRY I GOT EXCITED)
merthur & 2, 6, 7, 13, 24, 29, 30
oh my god roya i went ham on these. i apologize in advance 💀i got so excited too siskksksksks thank you so much for this holy shit, it was literally so much fun
2. Big spoon/Little spoon?
omg i think it depends on who got the drama arc that day ajclajfefkafn i would say normally merlin is 100% the big spoon LOL he just has that “need to comfort and protect” vibe, you feel?
6. What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?
oooo so interesting, like physical features? id wanna say merlin loves arthur’s hands the most. like he can just sit for hours watching arthur signing documents and writing speeches and all that shit, plus arthur is definitely a hands on man (since he was touched starved to the max) so merlin always craves those little moments where arthur’s hand lingers on his own, or on his neck, or on his chest. the first thing to come to my mind for arthur is that he absolutely adores merlin’s hair. like when he forgets to cut it short and it gets a bit longer and more curly, the wildness just fits merlin so nicely. his hair in the morning is just so messy and perfect and the way the light hits it makes merlin feel more ethereal--its in those moments, right before merlin wakes up, where arthur just stares at this magical king and wonders what god he should thank for giving him someone so lovely.
7. What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?
OH GOD. dude, the first thing that changes for merlin is what he thinks about as he helps arthur dress for the day. now, he notices the subtle way arthur leans into his touch, the way arthur smiles softly when merlin fixes his collar, the way his own hands tremble, ever-so slightly, as he smooths out arthur’s shirt. ARTHUR. man, the first thing that changes for arthur when he realized he has feelings for merlin is EVERYTHING. my mans tries to not change a fucking thing about the routine or day--but he tries way too fucking hard and its painfully noticeable that something is happening in his mind. merlin notices it, of course, but thinks arthur is stressed about something kingly. you know who tells him to fucking stop? LANCELOT. that man walks up to arthur, drags his ass aside, and gently, but not weakly, says “you suck at this” and helps him understand that merlin is already head over heels for him wjsjjsksksks
13. Who reaches for the other’s hand first?
arthur. 100%. touch is his thingggg™️. merlin has probably ached to hold arthur’s hand for years, but arthur does it first. i imagine two different scenarios: one, its fucking chaos out. there is some bad guy or some shit they are fighting, the knights are scattered, they are bloodied, bruised, and tired, but merlin hasn’t left his side for even a moment. the warlock’s back is still straight, his chin is still high, the defiance burning so brightly in those eyes that arthur cant help but reach over and grab the man’s hand to try to gain some of his resilience and passion and strength. two, it could be the laziest fucking day of the year. the knights of the roundtable are laughing and eating in arthur’s chambers, lance and gwen are making doe-eyes at one another, gwaine and percy are stealin little glances, and arthur is just so fucking content. like he looks around to smiles, and laughing, and happiness, and he turns his head to see merlin staring at him in concern. and he cant help it, man, he just reaches over and squeezes his hand. merlin’s eyes widen, but a soft smile grows there. arthur just doesn’t let go though, so merlin leans over and puts his head on arthur’s shoulder being completely beautifully content together.
24. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?
BRUH THIS SCREAMS MERLIN. I'M LAUGHING SO MUCH FKHNNSKNR. dudee. imagine it?? they are seated at a Very Important Dinner™️ with some Very Important People™️ and arthur is just about to make a toast and BAM-merlin whispers something outrageously fucking dirty. ARTHUR SPLUTTERS AND TURNS SO FUCKING RED ASDFGHHJK. merlin just smiles (his most regal smile) and turns away to talk to Very Important Someone™️ and arthur has to wait a few more minutes to compose himself and vows to get back at merlin later (he never does because merlin always beats him to it). OR LIKE DURING AUDIENCES? like this fucking farmer is complaining that he thinks his neighbor stole his chicken named Clucky and merlin just walks up to arthur and Says Something™️ that makes arthur cough...violently...and merlin turns around, solves the farmer’s problem, and goes back to his spot like nothing happened. arthur stares at him for much longer than he is suppose to before leon steps in and taps arthur’s shoulder to continue LOLLL
29. one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart
oh lord,,, where to start? im not sure if this is a common headcanon or not, but that merlin actually could have saved arthur. he is the most powerful warlock to ever fucking exist, and he couldn’t save him? i call bullshit. i think he had the power to, and i think deep down he realizes that when its too late (like arthur’s eyes fluttering shut too late) and thats what breaks him. what haunts him for literal centuries. the simple fact that he could have saved him. i think he didn’t know enough about his magic yet, or that he refused to acknowledge that kind of power simmering under his skin, or that he just didn’t believe enough in himself because of how many times shit had hit the fan when merlin did magic near arthur. so..yeah…yikes
30. one headcanon about this OTP that mends it
LOL im full of angsty headcanons so hmmm. during arthur’s reign, they used to stay up late at night in arthur’s chambers. it didn’t matter what they did: whether it was arthur teaching merlin how to play chess as merlin complained the entire time that strategy at midnight was a cruel and unnecessary punishment, or arthur helped merlin clean his chambers as merlin hummed an old song his mother used to sing to him before bed, or just the two of them sitting in front of the fireplace with two glasses of wine talking about everything and nothing all at once. but once the quiet hits, its never, ever, uncomfortable. they can sit in silence for hours and never be bored or scared to break it. they just sit there, side by side, leaning on one another like they do in everything in life.
thank you again😭💖💖 akakakakak i might have gotten too excited?😂
otp ask game
#ashley answers#IM SO SORRY ITS SO MUCH#I FEEL PASSIONATE ABOUT THEM#merthur#merlin#merlin bbc#bbc merlin#merlin headcanons#otp ask game#arthur pendragon#should this been ashley rambles too LOLL#long post#there are probably typos#skskskskks
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I Hope | Roman Ahcan
Based on the song I Hope // Gabby Barret. I hope you like it!
*** FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED ***
Words: 4.6k
“I hope you both feel the sparks by the end of the drive I hope you know she's the one by the end of the night I hope you never ever felt more free Tell your friends that you're so happy I hope she comes along and wrecks every one of your plans I hope you spend your last dime to put a rock on her hand I hope she's wilder than your wildest dreams She's everything you're ever gonna need And then I hope she cheats Like you did on me”
One year ago
Your world had been shattered in the matter of 30 seconds and one message. Your boyfriend, well soon to be ex, was lip locked with a girl who was not his girlfriend, a girl who was not you. And you had the evidence in the form of a very high quality picture sitting in your hands. Just like that, your sanity was gone and insecurity took its place.
You manically paced the floor of your apartment, hysterical little laughs exploding from you every time you thought about the man who you had thought was your future. It was like you couldn’t even process the information right in front of your eyes. The person in that picture, with his hands on her waist was not your boyfriend. Your boyfriend would never do that to you. And yet the picture said otherwise, with his hat on backwards, the ends of his hair curling up just so- the way you liked, the gleam of his silver chain visible as it peaked out from his white shirt that you had bought him, and the corner of his mouth turned up through the kiss in his signature smirk. You knew exactly how his lips would feel in that moment, if it had been you in that picture. But it wasn’t.
The phrase that echoed through your head is what had you almost on your knees, begging for this to be some cruel joke. It bounced around in your head, traveled through your body, sank into your bones, and broke your heart. Your boyfriend just cheated on you. Your boyfriend was is cheating on you. Your boyfriend had been cheating on you. The tears still didn’t come, they prickled the back of your eyes but you couldn’t manage to force them to spill out. You couldn't even get your body to function properly right now. Your mind had other things to worry about besides silly things like tears. Tears wouldn’t undo the pain that he had just inflicted.
You thought about every moment that had transpired between the two of you over the past - what you had thought was a glorious year and a half- and questioned which of those he had pictured with her instead. Every morning you had woken up beside him, a small smile on his still sleeping lips, was he dreaming of her? Every time his eyes slipped closed when your fingers tangled in his hair, was he thinking of her hands? Every time he had stormed out of your place after a fight, had he gone to her place instead? Every little hideaway he had shown you, had he shown her too? What about the parts of him that you thought he had shared with only you? Did she know Roman the same way you thought you had. You had given yourself to him in more ways than one and as it turns out he had given himself to more than just you. The realization is enough to make you fall to the floor, skipping the tears altogether and instead indulging in ugly, body wrenching sobs.
This is how he finds you hours later, collapsed on the floor. He’s instantly worried, moving to check on you. “Y/N, Baby are you okay? What’s going on? Talk to me sweetie” he coos as he goes to pick you up off the floor. But he freezes just as quickly as he had started toward you when he sees the picture displayed on your phone on the floor.
At some point during the night, your body and mind had gone numb. So much so, that it was scaring you. You had never felt this empty. You needed to feel something, even if it was pain and the picture did the trick. So you had found the message Owen had sent you and tortured yourself to remind yourself that the boy who was coming home to you tonight, didn’t always come home to just you. He did not belong in your life. It was effective enough, keeping you anchored on the floor in the middle of the living room long enough for him to see some of the damage he had caused.
“Y/N...I - I can explain” he tries, swallowing hard.
You move yourself to a seated position, the best you can manage at this point, as you decide which question you want to hurl at him first. Even though you want to ask “do you love me?” The answer is clear as day with what he has done. Actions speak louder than words, right?
So you settle on, “Was this the first time?”. And even this one, you think you know the answer to as well. But you give him the benefit of the doubt and ask anyway.
You can see the wheels turning in his head, the beautiful Madison lights casting his face in a glow that hours ago you would’ve made him stand frozen in place to capture on camera.
Now however, you wanted nothing more than to escape the moment. “Now, Roman. I’m not asking again”, you bark at him.
He flinches and the small action hurts your heart still even though he had already destroyed it. You never raised your voice at him.
“No”, he decides he should be honest, for the first time in a while.
You nod, accepting the dagger to your heart. “How long?”
He grimaces at your question. “How long have you been with her?” You repeat.
He tries to dance around the question, “I’m sorry, Y/N, I know I fucked up, but we haven’t really been the same for a while now..”
“That’s bullshit and you know it, Roman. How long? You can’t possibly be worried about hurting my feelings at this point so just spit it out”.
He hates that you’re right. Why wasn’t he just telling it to you straight? He’d already hurt you and he knew that, but doing things behind your back, especially when he swore each time was the last, was different from hurting you when he was standing right in front of you and could see the pain in your eyes and hear it in your voice.
“Four months” he finally tells you.
You let out a bitter laugh as you think back to your life four months ago and it registers which night it probably was. “Oh you mean the night we went to that women’s soccer party and had that huge blowout because I didn’t like how you were flirting with every girl there, including Owen’s girlfriend by the way, and you flipped out on me and called me insecure, swearing you were ‘just friends’ with those girls and ‘would never do that to me’ and ‘how dare I question your loyalty’?”
He hangs his head, having completely forgotten about the fight you two had gotten into that night, screaming at each other in the street. It was your first big fight. You had cried half the night in your room, not letting him in. He had sat on the couch listening to your quiet sobs for a while, but instead of waiting to comfort and reassure you, he had left and gone back to the party.
“I went back” he admits.
“And then you still had the balls to meet me for brunch and let me apologize all over myself the very next morning, classy Roman. What, did you come straight from her place?”
The way he won’t meet your gaze still tells you everything you need to know and you couldn’t have felt more like a fool.
You’re angry now though as you push yourself up from the floor. Out of instinct Roman moves to help you stand. The look you give him though makes him recoil and snatch his hand back. You park yourself in a chair and gesture for him to do the same. He’s confused at your shift in mood but does as he’s told and takes a seat on the couch.
“So what’s her name?”
He's still confused but answers your question anyway, a simple one thank god.
“What’s she like? What drew you to her? What makes her special?” You gush, leaning forward with your legs crossed an arm propping up your head.
“Come on, Y/N…” he says, not really knowing what else to say. Did you really want to know?
“Nope, you don’t make the rules anymore. You gave that up four months ago. I want to know what it is about her that’s better than me”, you push. And you really do. What does this girl have that you don’t.
And so you sit and listen to your boyfriend tell you all about the girl he’s been seeing since four months ago. You listen good and hard, letting every word cut you deep. They both felt the sparks, she came right up to him and made her intentions known, apparently while you were helping his teammate clean up after wiping out on the stairs. She was confident. She had a reputation, but he saw past it. He always did see the good in everyone, you say to yourself shaking your head. She had a past and apparently he was her future just as he had been yours. Once your ears were so full of her and he was taking it almost too far, telling you about how he knew she was the one by the end of the night, you switched gears yet again, needing to feel something other than pathetic.
“So you obviously fucked her I'm assuming?” You question him with an eyebrow raised.
He shifts in his seat. The blunt question a complete contrast to the sweet nothings you had previously asked about.
“I..-Er. Uhhh.” Hes stumbling over his words, flustered.
“Well if you’ve been seeing her for four months, you have to be fucking right? It’s not like you to keep it in your pants that long, is it? Hell, you had me bent over for you the first night we met”. Referencing his past was a low blow and you could see that at the hurt that flashes across his face, but none of it was a lie and at this point he deserved it. He’d played right into his own reputation, after all.
“That’s not fair, Y/N. But to answer your question, if you must know, then yes, I am fucking her” he says and there’s bite to his words.
You snort in response, “Not fair? Not fair is thinking the man you’ve given heart to would respect it and love it back and then getting completely fucked over and him acting like everything is fine for four months. That’s not fair, but nice try, it was cute”
It was like he completely forgot that he was the one on trial here, that he was the one who royally fucked you over and he had the audacity to play victim and claim your comment was “unfair”.
“So how good is she in bed? On a scale of 1-10? Does she make you see stars every time you cum? Does she make you say her name like a prayer and make you beg for it to the point where it’s the only words you know?” You push forward, wanting to make him squirm.
You were making him uncomfortable, this much was clear as the heat rose to his cheeks and he changes positions on the coach three times before swallowing hard and speaking. “Why are you doing this? Why do you want to know this stuff?” He pleads.
Refusing to back down, you ignore his question. “Oh come on, baby. I know you love to talk dirty. What’s the problem now?” You say in a patronizing voice.
He still gives you an unsure look. “It’s just. I don’t know, doesn’t it bother you? I don’t know what difference it makes”.
You laugh then, both at his choice of words, and at his sudden consideration of your feelings. “Bother” is used for something small like a fly, not hearing the sex details of your boyfriend’s mistress and he had already cheated and lied for four months, it was a little late for your feelings.
“If you’re ‘’man’ enough to cheat on me and fuck some other girl then you can be ‘man’ enough to sit across from me and spill every juicy detail” you spit at him.
He doesn’t even know why he questions you, he should be doing everything you ask and groveling at your feet right now. Actually he does know, he still cares about you even though he hasn’t shown it. He doesn’t want to watch as his words rip you apart piece by piece. He doesn’t want to watch as you fall apart in front of him or hear the way you wail his name and then tell him to keep going. He hates the way you’re wiping at your tears with your own hands and even more, that he’s the one causing them. He can’t hold you or comfort you, he can only keep killing you with his words. He swears you’re going to kill him yourself, as eventually white hot anger takes over your features. You swear at him and yell, but it’s nothing compared to the look that follows it. It absolutely terrifies him when there’s no expression on your face at all. No pain, no sadness, no anger, no emotion whatsoever. That’s when he knows he’s lost you and for good. You stare right past him and say “We’re done here. I think you should go”.
There’s no look of recognition for the boy in front of you as you walk him to the door, as you really don’t know who he is anymore. And there’s no sentiment in your voice as you tell him “I hope she cheats like you did on me”, shutting the door on him.
—
Present
It was 2 am on a Friday, technically Saturday, when you thought you’d heard a knock on your door. Your sleep schedule was messed up and you were still awake watching reruns of Friends. Whoever it was knocked again but you weren’t expecting any visitors, especially at this hour so you grab the hockey stick from under your bed and slowly creep toward the door. The person was now banging repeatedly and your heart matched every thump. You cursed yourself for not taking your dad up on his offer to install a peep hole last week, swearing you could do it yourself and then not having had time to do it yet. It really would’ve come in handy right now. There’s a pause in the knocking and so holding your breath you swing open the door, stick in hand.
Standing on the other side is someone you haven’t seen in over a year, but he still takes your breath away like the very first time. “Roman”, you breathe out. At hearing his name, he turns your way, a nervous hand rubbing at the back of his neck, a habit he never could shake.
You take a moment to take each other in, the subtle differences that happen from a year’s time. He looks tired, there’s bags under his eyes, but good all the same. His hair is a bit longer and he’s started growing light facial hair along his jawline. His shoulders are somehow broader. You’d bet his thighs were thicker too, you couldn’t tell for sure, but he seemed to fill out the grey sweats he was wearing more than you last remembered. You bit your lip as those were some of your favorites and you had told him so many times when you were together. His skin still held some of that summer tan and in an instant, all the feelings you had for him were flooding back.
He took in your appearance as well. He didn’t even question the hockey stick in your hand, he was too focused on the rest of you. Even in just a big T-shirt, you still took his breath away. It wasn't his, but it was one of the newer hockey ones the team had just gotten and he wondered who had given theirs to you. He made a mental note to question it at practice that week. He had fucked up over a year ago, he knew that now. Your hair was lighter and the spatter of freckles across your cheeks and nose was a little more filled in now. Your bare legs looked more toned. He couldn’t help but wonder how they’d feel wrapped around his waist.
Watching his stare travel down your body you suddenly felt self conscious, having not had him look at you like that in so long. You cleared your throat and his eyes snapped back up to your puzzled face. “What’re you doing here Roman?”
“I know I’m probably the last person you expected to see, Y/N”, you nodded in confirmation “and probably the last person you wanted to see”, he says with a sheepish smile.
You shrug, “I hadn’t really been expecting to see anyone at all. It’s like 2 in the morning?”
He nods, knowing it’s absurd that he’s here. “I have no right to ask this of you, but can I come in?”
You blink in surprise at his request, heavily weighing what letting him in will lead to in the long run vs closing the door in his face. He’s subtly trying to peer around you, praying that he’s not interrupting something and you don’t already have company.
Following your still bruised heart and not your head, you step aside and let him into your apartment. Even though it’s been so long, he doesn’t look one bit out of place in your space.
Just as he took in the slight changes in your appearance, he took in the slight adjustments you had made to your apartment. You had rearranged the furniture, even getting a new couch. Gone was the one where he had ripped your heart out over a year ago and in its place, a new black sectional. Good riddance he thought. You had changed the canvases that were on the wall, but left the Wisco tapestry that was the background of so many of his pictures. The counters were clean and the place itself looked less cluttered without all of his hockey stuff laying all over the place. There was a still a Badgers hoodie thrown over the chair in the corner, one that he could’ve sworn Lindy had been asking about at practice the other day and he spied Lex’s ugly hot pink charger plugged in over by the couch, a pair of Cole’s Jack Hughes slides by the door. He was glad the boys hadn’t abandoned you when he did.
You had put away the pictures of the two of you that used to sit on the side table and scatter the fridge, but you had left a singular picture up of you and him with some of the team from your first Fourth of July together. His arm was around your waist, pulling you into his side. The boys’ arms were thrown around your shoulders. Your head was thrown back with laughter and there was a beaming smile plastered on his face that never seemed to leave when he was around you. He almost got choked up staring at the picture. He just wished he could go back in time.
“I couldn’t bring myself to take that one down.” You spoke up from behind him. “I know we ended on bad terms, but we had some damn good times”. There was sadness in your voice, but a hint of something else too. Maybe forgiveness? Acceptance?
Putting the picture back, he agrees with you. “We did, didn’t we? That’s kind of the reason I’m here”.
You suck in a breath. “Roman I’ve worked hard to put all that behind me. I really don’t want to dredge it back up again. Especially after so long…” you were over the situation. It still hurt like hell and he had broken you beyond what you had thought you could repair, but you had picked yourself up and were stronger now than ever. That night wasn’t something you thought about much at all anymore, but you knew he could change that in an instant.
“No, no, no! That’s not what I’m here for at all, not really anyways”, he says quickly.
“Then what are you here for?” You ask, nervously chewing on your lip.
He looks around like he doesn’t really want to get to the point. You surprise yourself and pat the spot next to you on the couch. He gives you the same look you inwardly give yourself, but can’t fight it as his body leads him to you. He’s careful not to sit too close but he’s still close enough to make your heart race.
“Do you remember what your last words to me were?” He asks.
Of course you remembered. They chorused through your head for the weeks to come. They were harsh, but you’d meant them.
“I hope she cheats like you did on me”.
“Is it ok for me to talk about her with you? We’re over if that makes you feel better about it” he asks.
Were you ready to hear whatever it is he was about to tell you? You’d never know if you didn’t let him continue. You did note, too that he was no longer with her.
“You’re already here on my couch, Ro. Might as well get out whatever it is you came here to say”.
His heart flutters at your use of his nickname. He had refused to let any of the guys call him that because it reminded him of you. He hadn’t heard it in so long, it felt so good he almost forgot what he was here to do.
“I don’t even know where to start. I guess maybe with that I really thought she was it, I didn’t leave you for some fling I really thought I was in love..she was...she was wilder than my wildest dreams. I felt everything you’re supposed to feel, the sparks, that happy, free feeling. & I’m so sorry if any of this hurts you to hear, just tell me to stop ok?” He asked softly.
You nodded, you’d already told yourself every hurtful thing in the book, hearing it from him shouldn’t be much different. You urged him on. “I was in so deep with her, I didn’t know up from down, wrong from right. I’d call her in the middle of the highway drive home from roadies with a huge smile on my face and in a blur I’d be home, time just wasn’t a thing when I talked to her, I’d hear a song and start singing along thinking about her. I’d tell all the guys I was so happy. I think they could kind of see through the whole thing though”.
You raised your eyebrows at that and he looked over at you. “They’re big fans of yours, you know. They had their suspicions about this girl from the getgo. They knew it wasn’t real like it was with you. They could see it wouldn’t last like I thought it would. Hell, I thought she was everything I was ever gonna need. She wrecked every single one of my plans. My plans for my future, I was ready to call it quits on hockey after this year and move out to Texas with her. Wrecked my plans with you, in every way...I am so sorry”.
You and Roman used to stay up all night talking about those plans. Hearing him mention them again, even in this context had you wishing that they were all still a possibility, the little lake house in Minnesota and mini Romans running around while he lived out his hockey dream. You would’ve done anything to give that life to him.
He pulls you from your thoughts when he continues, “ I thought I had it all figured out. I had even bookmarked the ring she kept showing me, even though it would’ve cost me my last dime”.
Your heart breaks as he says this, knowing how he felt about marriage. He didn’t really care about the ceremony, he’d get married in a courthouse or at Vegas for all he cared. He only wanted you by his side, well at the time anyway. To know that he had gotten that far with her, brought up every feeling from that night and you knew that this was a very bad idea to have him here, in your place, on your couch so close to you. You began to pull away from him, but he didn’t notice. His head was leaned against the top of the couch, his eyes trained on the ceiling.
“And then at 2 am I’m flipping through snap and I get one from her friend. She’s hanging all over some guy. I’m obviously pissed but I couldn’t get mad at her for just having her arms around him right? But then the next one is her with her tongue down his throat.”
You’re silent next to him, tracing patterns on the blanket on your lap, knowing the situation all too well. He wants to reach over and touch you but he resists, needing to finish his story first.
“I stayed up all night, waiting for her to come home. I was literally pacing by the door for hours. She never did come home though. I suppose you can guess where she was and what she was doing. She didn’t even bother to call until the next day, I’d had my phone in my hand the whole night thinking she’d call. I’d never felt more pathetic. Not even after that 9-1 loss last season,” he tries to joke, but you can tell he’s serious.
“That was a pretty bad game…” you acknowledged, giving him a small smile.
He chuckles at your efforts and he’s hit once again with how much he’s missed you.
The way he’s looking at you is one you’ve seen many times before. It’s a look that tells you he’s about to do something you don’t know that you’re ready for, even if you want to be, so you try to keep him on track. “So what did she say when she finally called?”
He’s broken from his trance and clears his throat, letting his head roll back to face the ceiling again. “That she was wasted and had no idea what she was doing. Didn’t even remember it apparently.”
Your brows furrowed together as you tried to follow what he was saying. “But how did she know to call you about it then?”
“Exactly. I hadn’t even left any voicemails or messages or anything. I hadn’t known what to say at the time. I didn’t want it to be over yet you know?”
And you did know. You and Roman were supposed to last forever and you were prepared for that, you wanted that. You were more prepared for forever than you were for having your time with him cut short.
“So I told her it was okay. That I forgave her and maybe it was my fault too. I should’ve gone out with her that night like she had wanted. We agreed that we needed to start new again, so I took her out on another first date and when we kissed, sparks flew all over again. I was just as deep, thinking she was still the one by the end of the night. And then she cheated three weeks later again. Apparently it had been everytime I left town, for months. I felt like such an idiot. I questioned every interaction we’d ever had. She fucked with my head”.
She had made him feel the same way about her that you had felt about him, that you feel about him and then she’d made him feel exactly how he’d made you feel when he cheated on you. You had been listening intently, but your eyes were trained on your hand that was still tracing patterns on the blanket on your lap. Your tracing is paused however when he grabs your hand in his and uses his finger to tip your chin up to look in his eyes. It’s the first time he’s touched you all night and you’d be lying if it didn’t ignite a fire inside of you and put butterflies in your stomach.
“I am so beyond sorry for what I did to you and for what I put you through. I’ll never forgive myself for throwing away what we had and lying about it time after time. I don’t deserve forgiveness for that, especially from you. I’m sorry that it took her cheating on me to understand the level of hurt that I had caused you. I betrayed you in the worst way, in every way really. You didn’t deserve that and I’m so so sorry for hurting you”. The playful smirk that normally finds itself present on his face is nowhere to be seen as his eyes bore into your soul and his voice sends shivers down your spine with how much conviction is behind the words he just spoke.
“I wanted her to wreck you”, you honestly tell him, your voice practically a whisper. Anything louder and he might’ve picked up on the way your voice broke at the end. With one visit he had practically undone a years worth of work. You wanted him, and you wanted him bad. You could forgive him, you already had, but you could never trust him the same.
Unlike the last time he had seen you, when you stared right through him; this time your face was full of so many emotions. It was so close to his. It would take him a handful of inches to close the distance between your lips and his. It was hard for him to think straight.
“I know babygirl, and I deserved it. I really did. I didn’t come here tonight to try and ruin the life you’ve built for yourself without me in it. I won’t try to earn your love back if you don’t want me to, I know I owe you that much at least. I just came to tell you how sorry I was for putting you through all that I did. I understand that now. But hey, you got what you wanted”, he says with a sad smile.
And there it was. That damn nickname that had your resolve melting on the spot. He had good intentions, coming here and you did still feel for him, your heart hurt at the hurt he had gone through, but he never would’ve had to experience that had he not cheated. As much as you wanted him back, you couldn’t go through that again.
“I forgive you, Ro, I really do. It’s the forgetting that’s the hard part. I can forgive, but I can’t forget”.
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