#(tagging welcome home bc thats what this post is about)
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Good day.
big FUCK YOU to anyone who drops AUDIBLE slurs in posts and doesnt trigger warn them. looking at you That one Welcome Home instagrammer
#slurs#ableist slurs#the audio straight up said cr*pple and there was NO tw#welcome home#tag slurs you dickwads#(tagging welcome home bc thats what this post is about)#ableds dont comment you annoy me
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i dont think you ever posted about your "jon sees elias as jonah when he takes the archivist job" au but please start with that immediately 👀👀👀👀👀👀
so i dont think theres very much that i didnt say in the tags of the post i made about it (unless tumblr ate those for some reason)
but basically. yeah after jon takes the archivist position he starts seeing elias as jonah (at elias' age, not as like. a corpse in the panopticon). obviously he immediately realises that its jonah bcs, yknow, the guys paintings are everywhere.
i imagine jon's train of thought is something like this:
did my boss get possessed by jonah magnus -> no thats dumb ghosts arent real -> im having a psychotic episode -> surely id be seeing other symptoms -> what the FUCK is happening
so a huge amount of jon's desire to find the truth about the supernatural ends up focused on jonah. initially he's just doing research into the actual guy jonah magnus himself but that doesnt really get him anywhere because its not like jonah was like "dear diary im an eye avatar and im going to start putting my eyes into other people so i can be immortal" so he starts doing research into elias instead. which also turns out to be quite difficult just doing normal research.
luckily, jon and elias are decently friendly with each other (at least in early s1, which this would still be). so surely its not weird to try and make sure your relationship with your boss is positive. thats just common sense thats just cultivating a welcoming workplace environment or whatever. and ofc elias is like
bcs this is objectively great! jons leaning into the eye hes considering breaching elias' privacy to learn more about him and ofc hes flattered that jon is so focused on him in particular. so he allows jon to break into his office and look through his things and he pretends he isnt watching the entire time, and he casually mentions some flaws in his home security to try and spur jon into breaking into his house (which he doesnt. yet.)
they're sort of not-quite-dating - tim might joke about jon going on dates with elias and jon gets very flustered and denies it and elias is a little over affectionate in public just to see how jon reacts, but neither of them have any idea that jon's doing all of this just so he can figure out why his boss is (apparently) the founder of the institute.
then prentiss happens. then they find gertrude's body.
i dont think jon gets as paranoid as he does in canon - hes been less of an asshole since all of his focus has gone into researching elias and trying to figure out what the fuck happened. so while i think he does do some research into the archival crew, its mainly research into gertrude herself, and continuing his research into elias. now with added stalking!
and of course elias still doesnt care about the stalking because hes still 1. very happy jon is taking to the eye so well and 2. flattered that jon is so focused on him to the point of stalking him. in my heart i know elias considers stalking to be a form of flirting
s2 goes generally the same but i want jon to find out about the not-them just a little sooner so i can make him go "holy shit! elias got not-them'd! what the fuck!" of course this is completely incorrect if you know anything about how the not-them works but jon. doesnt.
jon, of course, breaks the table. then he finds out that sasha got not-them'd. then he finds out leitner is alive. then he finds out leitner is dead.
who else does he have to go to? he shows up at elias' home, maybe just minutes after elias finishes cleaning up, because a man has been killed in his office and he didnt do it.
because i am a soft elias truther s3 isnt just manipulation and horrible things happening for jon. horrible things still do happen (elias very much doesnt discourage him from talking to jude perry, or mike crew, for example) and elias is still a bastard but its probably not any significant amount more horrible than canon s3 was.
jon probably spends amounts of time talking to elias about what leitner told him (which is hilarious to elias) and elias (against his better judgement) doesnt tell jon that leitner was lying, but instead asks him questions that may or may not lead him to figuring out the entities. he's curious as to what's going to happen, and he's sure jon likes him enough that showing just a little of what he knows wont tarnish their relationship
i dont have many thoughts beyond that - the confrontation probably goes differently, for example, and maybe jon permanently moves in with elias. i cant decide how much of a corruption arc i should give jon (obviously he ends up much more content with the eye than in canon bcs the eye is sexy but i cant decide if hes pro apocalypse or not) but when jon finds out that elias is jonah hes like "oh i know" and jonah is like what the fuck do you mean
#the reason elias never realises that jon sees him as jonah is bcs. i decided he doesnt LOL#he just never reads jons mind when jons thinking about why his boss is jonah magnus#also gertrude definitely had the same thing. jon finds that out but its unhelpful to his own research aside from 'something is wrong with#the archivist position' but he already knew that#���️ | jon sees elias as jonah au
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in general actually now that i think about it. fandom as a whole is 95% the reason why i dont post my art online anymore/am very delayed when i end up doing it even if i do draw fanart. thats bc like. Dealing with reposters (esp back in my fionna n cake era i got rlly pissed off seeing my stuff reposted on TIKTOK of all places) on other social media or seeing shitty fucking discourse that ends up literal doxxing of mutuals ive lost contact with its like OR at its best its like... a dead tag with the last post being three months ago (usually with mos tof the stuff im into its this one)
i think my final straw honestly was watching how the "welcome home" fandom was handled. seeing how Parasocial people got with OC creators to the point of disrespecting someone's boundaries of "dont send me porn of my own ocs" or people straight up taking fictionkin to justify delusional harrassment over a story that isnt even OUT/FINISHED yet??? kinda hit too close to home to me with the deranged shit i had to deal with as a teenager haha. ahhaah.
but like literally. community online has lost its appeal. its just a bunch of hungry scavenger types n its like. unless the urge to get something out There to someone to listen to aches so bad that i have to reach out to hear likeminded people i like sticking to old school forums and private servers!!! at least if shitty beef happens its Contained n doesnt end up become like a Youtube Deep Dive or smth .
its tiring. im tired. im having late night thoughts onto what made me lose the motivation to keep in touch with an online space that used to mean the world to me but honestly ive found happiness elsewhere. n the only reason why im keeping tumblr atm is bc the thought of deleting it on a sour note/on the simple Urge to just give it the fuck up saddens me too much. i made too many happy memories here/it did genuinely HELP me at a time when i literally had nothing but ive feel like ive outgrown a lot of (modern) social media n im just trying to fit myself in the skin of something that feels suffocating to me.
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Moots game!
Pair your moots with members of txt you feel like they'd be most suited with <3
so i got this a few days ago ( perchance a week) but the thing is like, im bitchless ( excuse my crude language.) so basically, i have a few moots but like I've never really interacted with them to know them bc im scared of initiating convos. but now like I know a lot (there's like 5-6) of them not bestie level yet ( im waiting!) —so hear it goes!
✸ @itz-yerin — straight up beomgyu, and that's not even because he is her bias. but I genuinely they will vibe sooo good together. like yerin is chill, but also has her moments where she's like super duper bright and she has a very cool, and calming sort of vibrations about her which i think would stimulate beomgyu enough to be hyper also not make him feel like he's being too much to handle, so he can be himself with her.
✸ @mintxts —high key the most softest and cutest person ive ever seen in this hell hole, like so so so empathetic! that's why i believe hyuka and her would be so cute together bc they jusy give off like those radiating sunshine couples who has nothing hut good words for each other and genuinely bring each other and people around them up.
✸ @mazeinthemoon — she is so incredibly talented, and like so cool. i also love how confrontational and so comforting she is, which i think taehyun would love too! ( great segue wi) but like really I think taehyun would really appreciate those qualities, and it would probably make him feel like he has a place where he could get peace. (?) [im an empath i know how taehyun feels]
✸@ox1-lovesick —okay she's fr hilarious and she quotes tiktok a lot ( assumption lmao [i post headcanons for a living you can't take assuming things away from me!]) but i feel like she would, which is why I was like. okay hyuka but they is giving hella best vibes, thats why I wanna pair you up with soobin and just watch him try to like get in the vibes and roll on them cool tiktok trends only for him to bring his radio and bust down I got you by bebe rexha sunbaenim! no but the pair would be so funny to see fr!
✸@1800-beomgyu —omg so freaking nice?!? and for what and so polite while coming off like we've been born on the adjacent hospital beds! (i was a home birth) but as i was saying just so cool and so easy to get along with, she would vibe so well with yeonjun, and might even be nice to him! if she is with her, guys we might get the cocky yeonjun back! honestly would make him feel so welcomed, like yk even in close relationship one might feel like they need to act in a certain way to feel accepted, and that won't be the case with her.
✸ @wezbin — we haven't talked a lot, but she seems so nice and genuinely cute. I've gotta give hyuka to them , they would so cute together. might raise plushies or do those very infuriatingly cute things!
lol and that's a wrap! and ik it's not a tag, but id love to see people do this! im a sucker for this kind of games, like i might just start a rank txt from least to favourite late night ramen cooker and pass it around the community for fun. i love conversations like this!
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my ultimate guide to thiam fic !!
( as a new teen wolf stan )
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the classic post war, long ass (multi chapter) fic !!with great development that genuinely made me laugh out loud, they have the best friendship in this & i love it very much. ( like theo teaches liam to drive and i just *happy sobs* ) a fundamental in thiam fanfiction !! all stans have probably already read it but if you haven’t this is in fact a threat ,, go show this vv iconic story some love !!
Airplanes - Captainmintyfresh
Summary: After the Anuk-ite and the hunters are dealt with Liam needs a break. Cue Theo and a road trip that Liam should know better than to think will be peaceful.
Not Rated, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, 43/43 Chapters, Words: 236,875 (236k)
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okay okay so this one is also post 6B !! but ,, now we introduce fighting monroe & the hunters again ,, so we get the boys & a new mission !! so if you like an intresting plot 11/10 would recommend !! just to be clear this ISN’T complete ,, if that turns you off i understand but definitely give this one a read !! it litterally have theo doing crossword puzzles & fighting zombies
Vacancy Signs - LovelyLittleGrim
Summary: Theo and Liam are in Manhattan negotiating a pack allyship when the zombie apocalypse breaks out. Now, the two of them have to find their way back to Beacon Hills without getting eaten by zombies or killing one another.
Rated: Explicit, Graphic Description of Violence, Not Completed, 15/17 Chapters, Words: 89,605 (89k)
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Royalty AU !! I REPEAT ROYALTY AU !! a fantastic au where i stan their moms more than i stan them !! genuinely so good at the childhood rivals to lovers trope !! i’m genuinely obsessed with this one. has made me cry more than once ,, hurts in a good way <3 the ending is just *chefs kiss* also one of the tags is genuinely: # theo and liam make bad choices for over 130k straight !! if that doesn’t sound appealing i don’t know what does !!
Artificial Love - songbvrd
Summary: Prince Theo and Prince Liam are forced to spend every Summer together from age five onwards. They hate each other, and usually find ways to make each other miserable as much as possible in their six weeks together. But when they're reunited because of intended unions as adults, things change. They're both supposed to be married to noble women, but neither of them is as interested in anyone else as they are with their childhood rival.
Rated: Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, Chapters: 32/32, Words: 172,935 (172k)
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so if you are in the mood for a crack fic that’s not explicitally a crack fic this is for you !! okay so i’m really hit or miss with AU’s ,, sometimes i feel like they don’t quite capture the characters right but this story have the BEST dramatic liam i have ever seen in my life !! basically they all live in the same apartment building & it’s fantastic !! i saw this one floating around a lot but the summary didn’t really unrest me until i have it a shot !! so go read it rn !! also nolan & brett are genuinely fantastic and make me wheeze ,, LIKE ACTUALLY VERBALLY LAUGHING !! all i’m gonna say is that my fav characters are scott & the beetles but that won’t make actual sense until you read it !!
The Neighbors Song - TheodoreR
Summary: “I always hear you singing on your balcony every morning, but suddenly you’ve stopped?”
Or the one where Theo annoys Liam every morning with his awful singing until he doesn’t anymore and Liam is even more annoyed. Liam hates every single thing about his mornings -the fact that they happen in the morning alone is enough. The thing Liam hates the most about his mornings though is the terrible voice of the guy who lives below him. He can’t sing for shit and Liam tried to politely let him understand that by throwing flour and water on his balcony, and also by shouting it to him, you can’t sing for shit!, and then by writing it into a note he proceeded to attach to his door, but this Raeken guy just keeps doing it, every single morning, like a fucking rooster. Liam did nothing to deserve this. He probably didn’t do anything to deserve better either to be fair, he doesn’t expect to open his window and be welcomed by some angelic voice singing him good morning, he’d just be happy with nothing. Silence. That’s something Liam can appreciate in mornings. Just some bark from his dog and the sound of his misery and that’s it. But no, god forbid the new guy lets him have that.
Rated: Explicit, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Wanrings, Completed, 8/8 Chapters, Words: 42,814 (42k)
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me: i’m not a big fan of AU’s ,, proceeds to talk about ANOTHER au… OKAY BUT THIS ONE !! it’s not complete but the author has been updating regularly ,, vv slow burn !! but in a REALLY intresting way !! i lOVE LIAM IN THIS SO MUCH ,, he is such a diaster of a person and it’s wonderful !! they have a great dynamic & i’m sucker for general puppy pack content ( and erica reyes being a badass ) !! also theo plays lacrosse in this & i really like it ahhhhh ,, also liam is just being an artic monkeys stan the whole time & theo is like *que confused repressed gay noises*
Inglorious Roommates - honeyscape
Summary: A roommate is defined as “a person with whom one shares a room.”
Theo would say a roommate was more along the lines of, “The person who's the bane of his existence. The weirdo that sleeps for days. The spaz that exercises at 3am. The guy with a revolving door of annoying friends. An insufferable human being that Theo has no control over living in his room.”
Example: Theo hates his roommate Liam.
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okay okay i hate myself but i have another WIP for y’all !! this one is jUST FANTASTIC. i’m genuinely so upset it’s most likely not going to updated again *incoherent screaming ensues*. for this story ,, it’s very theo-centric bUT thats bc it ends right before liam becomes a concrete member of the story !! ANYWAY: basic plot = theo & acquiring not one but two children ,, so #dad theo but he is still crusty & homeless and i love him very much. it’s just so GOOD !! just read if you want to experience my fav theo coming out story & him etching high school musical
Look who's talking - Captainmintyfresh
Summary: Theo had been labeled many things in his life. Evil, failure, monster. He'd never thought Father would be one of those things but as he looked across the table to a six year old with blue smears of bubble gum icecream across her face trying to coax the first words out of her sister. Finger jabbing towards Theo's face as she repeated 'Daddy' again and again he couldn't bring himself to dispute the label.
(Theo accidentally adopts two young werewolves)
Not Rated, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings, Not Completed, Chapters: 16/?, Words: 48740 ( 48k )
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so here me out: post-canon ( poetry like angst ) summer get away !! just the boys doing cute little domestic things together whilst pining !! theo’s guilt in this is just so powerful & aGjffkgkkfkvkdlv !! i think it’s so interesting to see how they interact in this one, it’s just very heart warming !! and it features one of my favorite niche teen wolf tropes of theo being great with like seven year old girls- it’s just so good ,, very much a wonderful little one shot that just makes your heart happy.
(next time i see you you'll show me) a hundred different ways to say the same things - cherrysprite
Summary: “...You deserve good things,” Liam says eventually. He makes sure not to look at Theo even though he can feel his eyes turn on him. Somehow he can already tell that Theo doesn’t believe him.
Liam instantly makes that the goal of this summer - making Theo believe him.
Rating: Teen and Up, No Archive Warnings Apply, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 28875 ( 28k )
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okay so this next section of fic recs is a bit different !!
two of my favorite authors !! and a compilation of fics i’ve read by them both !!
for context: these two have written some genuinely gorgeous fics, like pure poetry, they explore the real gritty & scary side of our boys relationship in such a wonderful way. they’ve both used some of my favorite tropes & i love them very much !!
whenever i need something soothing but so genuinely intresting & enticing these are my go to !! ( also they both write a lot of good nolan angst & some vv good fics with hayden )
go check out:
eneiryu
as well as fallingforboys
here are some of my favorite fics by them ~
darling i want you here in my arms (kiss the pain away, i know you can) - fallingforboys
even before you touched me, i belonged to you (all you had to do was look at me) - fallingforboys
memories linger like tattoo scars (but your touch on my skin is just as permanent) - fallingforboys
skin, bones, a stolen heart, and an ugly creature lurking underneath -fallingforboys
i don't know how to breathe in the place i called home - fallingforboys
whisper your gossamer truths into the shadow, maybe you'll find the answers you're searching for - fallingforboys
between the mountains and the valley we built a monument to our regret - eneiryu
cracked the hinges of the cage and waited for you - eneiryu
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okay and finally: since i am a self centered whore
my own fic: an rendition of the # elevator scene
it’s basically my version of post canon if we did get the kiss in the elevator. we got a classic liam pov in which he is has 12/10 for extreme bi diaster energy even whilst being shot at !! so go him ig…
Fuck Off, Fuck This & Fuck It! - nefelibata_peach
Summary: Liam thought to himself heart rate climbing, they were bound to be dead by morning. So he thought with everything but his brain and he kissed him.
Where Liam Dunbar is very confused, slightly traumatized, and just a bit scared but hey, aren't they all! Bad decisions ensue as two boys fight in a war they never did sign up for.
Rating: Teen and Up, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 3558 ( 3k )
#this took me so long#please go read these or i’ll cry#fan fiction#fan fic recs#teen wolf fic recs#thiam fanfiction#thiam fic recs#thiam#theo raeken#liam dunbar#theo x liam#teen wolf fandom#teen wolf gay#teen wolf#ao3#fuck you fuck this & fuck it#thiam fanfic rec#thiam fanfic#thiam is endgame
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just one (viii)
summary: the only guy on campus who’s track record trumped that of your best friend’s - park jimin - was jeon jungkook. not that that was a problem…until he set his sights on you.
notes: first of all i wanna thank the people who supported me and encouraged me through one of the worst writers blocks of my life. all the messages and comments are the reason why i finally managed to post this. special thanks to @whippedforkook for helping me with the monstrous tagging process as well as giving me so much praise. and also @lonelyending for cheering me on for a literal YEAR bc thats how long i cried over this fic! this story is so special to me. we’re in the home stretch now x
warnings: mentions of illegal drug use and distribution, swearing, brief smut.
genre: drama, romance, humour, college!au
wordcount: 8k
tagging: @cutechim @benz-biarritz @gyukult @bangulin @eatersanonymous @alyssa1926 @skivv1es @a-sucker-for-them-sappy-shit @moonights @jeymuffins @juuneaux @catsukiii @andreaisaac @whatheydontunderstand @sreveles @noruls619 @henryharios @just-a-fuxked-up-kid @befriendswithj @btsbesharam @poemsandpunani @taelha @misosoup-forthesoul @jikooksmut @heart-eyedmf @the-piano-woman @angrysunshine @chaoticpaperfanhoagie @jsungshine @ci-yen @faby-montana @shinypeanutsportshero @jooniestrivia @alucards-s @cynamyngirl @jiminie-angel @myskoova @jkshoneybuns @smokintae @remmykinsff @majinbuwu @jangx2manboongx2 @potatodogs @seul-queen @alpharyth @blenxxxg @plsky @th-singularity @bapbaptothetop @hermiones-enchantment @stomachfilledwithbutterflies @euphorora @supachloe94 @jiminxjimout @ggukkieland @just-another-fic-recs-blog @jalexad
part i // part ii // part iii // part iv // part v // part vi // part vii // part viii // part ix // part x
x
4 years ago
x
jimin hated yugyeom.
well, maybe hate was a strong word. he just didn't like talking to him, being around him, hearing his name or interacting with him on any level, social or otherwise. he really tried though, since he was one of jungkook's closest friends and still respectfully referred to him as hyung above all else. and if anything, jimin would always have a soft spot for jungkook, the kid he used to coddle when his own brother wasn't around. but having said that, there wasn't really much basis for not liking yugyeom. it was just a gut feeling jimin couldn't explain, a very subtle callousness about him only jimin could pick up on. for the most part he was just like very other mild mannered boy by day and party animal by night, but jimin still ducks when he sees him enter the library.
"fuck," he hisses under his breath, scooping up his laptop to stride behind a book shelf for good measure. because sometimes, contrary to popular belief, jimin wanted to be alone. he didn't want to make small talk or listen to someone tell him about how well they scored on their last paper or complain about their annoying girlfriend. sometimes jimin wanted to have no thoughts and listen to fleetwood mac as per his human rights. which is why he shoves into the first private study room he sees.
and not an empty one at that. there's a girl inside, sitting cross-legged in her chair at a desk with an array of dried up paint tubes and brushes surrounding open sketchbooks. you don't look annoyed or even that phased, just amused as you give him a once over before going back to painting. "on the run from solji?"
jimin blinks, back still pressed against the door. "huh?" he regards you properly. "i'm sorry, have we met before?"
"not really," you admit with a sheepish smile, which is when jimin suddenly realises that you're...attractive. "solji is in my stats class. you hooked up with her last week at some party and she told me about it."
"oh," jimin takes in your plethora of art supplies. "you don't look like a stem student."
there's a glimmer of something in your eyes, and though you hide it well jimin knows he's struck a nerve. "yeah, i get that a lot."
"it's not solji by the way," jimin clarifies. for some reason. "that i'm hiding from. just a bellend i don't have the energy for right now."
you smile. "it's fine. you don't owe me your life story."
"i do when i'm about to impose on your...study time," jimin peers through the window in the door, wincing when yugyeom enters the hallway. "what would it take for you to let me stay in here for a while?"
you pause for a second. "honestly? just be quiet and leave me alone. is that okay?"
jimin perks up, a weight leaving his chest. "perfect, actually."
x
x
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[jungkook 11:42pm]: why does it say wings on it
[jungkook 11:42pm] where is it flying
[you: 11:43pm] ffs kook
[you: 11:44pm] im still on the toilet can u just hurry up
[you 11:44pm] grab some tampons too pls
[jungkook 11:46pm] fine what size pussy do u wear
[you 11:46pm] i hate u
[jungkook 11:53pm] ???? ? ? well? ????
[you 11:54pm] REGULAR
jungkook giggles at his phone, already having left the women's sanitary aisle to grab some chocolate. months later and teasing you was still bundles of fun. he knew for a fact that you were sat there with that angry pout on your face, nose crinkled. he had never bought anything like this before, but jungkook had enough brain cells to know that chocolate was another necessity for that time of the month. after grabbing a large hazelnut bar, he pauses beside the oreos before grabbing a packet of those too. just for good measure. he strides to the self checkout - because even he wasn't man enough for the cashier yet - nearly dropping his array of sanitary products and confectionary when somebody calls out his name from behind the queue.
"kook!" the voice is unmistakably yugyeom's, confirmed by the hand that clamps jungkook over the shoulder and swivels him round before he could think about hiding his socially compromising shopping items. it takes a second for yugyeom to notice, doing a double take at the pads atop his small tower of goods. he holds back a laugh, balancing a bottle of gin in one hand while he waves back at some friends to continue. they were clearly making their pit stop before a night out, probably pre's if they still start as late as jungkook remembers. with his hair styled and expensive cologne lingering, jungkook almost forgets he probably looks unrecognisable in his sweats and cotton-fresh hoodie. friday nights weren't for cuddling. still, yugyeom's smile is welcoming and familiar. "got the munchies? and maybe also a uterus?"
"shut up," jungkook grumbles, averting his eyes. he shifts to his other foot uncomfortably. "my friend just needed a favour, that's all."
"uh huh," yugyeom gives him a teasing look. "is this friend the reason why i barely saw you at jin's the other week?"
jungkook blinks back at him. "wait, you were at that party? i had no idea!" a boyish smile breaks over his face. "why didn't you call me? i haven't seen you since-"
"minseok-hyung's new years eve party," yugyeom throws his head back with a laugh. "remember how we ended up on a boat after the ball dropped and-"
"spent all of new years day detained by the coast guard!" jungkook finishes with a mischievous cackle of his own, nearly dropping the tampons in the process. "fuck, that was so much fun! we need to meet up again, i haven't been out with the guys in so long."
"well no wonder," he quips a brow at jungkook's shopping again. "word got out you're a family man but i didn't believe it. until now, that is."
jungkook's smile falls. "what do you mean?"
yugyeom looks at him for a second, confused by jungkook's surprise. yugyeom was never quite as diplomatic as namjoon or yoongi, to put it lightly. and definitely nowhere near as accomodating as jimin. which is why his next words make jungkook's back stiffen. "bro, look at yourself. you got dairy milk in one hand and tampax in the other. on a friday night. the next time i see you i wouldn't be shocked if you had a baby buggy and a mortgage." still, yugyeom throws him an apologetic look. like a mouse caught in a trap. "face it, kook. you're old news."
"what? that's not true," his brows furrow unhappily. "i don't know what you're talking about. it's not like she's my..."
he can't say the word, but it hangs between them like a dead weight.
"yeah, right," the condescending look on yugyeom's face was starting to agitate him. "you totally blanked us at jin's after she showed up. not even just jin's..." he thinks twice about holding his tongue, but as always, decides against it. "i don't know you, jungkook. whoever this new jungkook is. it's been months. you used to hit us up and be independent and spontaneous and wild and now you're just...someone's boyfriend.
"stop fucking saying that," jungkook snaps, all visible signs of friendliness gone.
"why?" a beat. "do you even use a wrap with her anymore?"
jungkook splutters, heat rushing to his ears and hands in a stinging combination of anger and embarrassment. "how is that any of your business? the fuck are you asking me something like that, as if you-"
"thought so," yugyeom looks away from him with a sigh. if anything, yugyeom knew never to overstay his welcome but that clearly backfired tonight. "whatever, jungkook," he looks over his shoulder at him. "guess you're the last one to find out you're officially married."
"you're ridiculous," jungkook scoffs. "all this over condoms? grow up, yugyeom."
"only couples do it raw," yugyeom turns away from him, alcohol in tow as he waves a hand over his shoulder to join his friends like jungkook was nothing but a lost cause. "you would remember that if you still had game."
jungkook stands there, dumbfounded while the group of boys exit the store noisily but he can't hear a thing. the siren that had been itching the back of his mind all this time was suddenly there at full force, right between his eyes. the glaring truth that yugyeom might be right makes his knees buckle. all those rules jungkook once had, all those measures he kept in place to protect his liberty, to prevent this very occurence - where were they? what happened to them? as the sweet and accommodating counterpart to jimin, why had you never complied? though, the blame wasn't on your hands alone. he got complacent, comfortable. lenient. and now without even realising he was here, a scene from a romcom in the middle of the night, with nothing to say for himself but fuck. the realisations wouldn't stop racing, one after another on the conveyer belt of his anxiety.
the photos on his phone; mostly you. time spent, usually with you. the portfolio for his latest photography module also had some resemblance to your interests. charcoal pencils, night drives, orchids. like the ones you always drew on any scrap of paper lying around. now that he thinks about it, he's seen nothing but your orchids for months. and not just that - you wore his clothes sometimes too. his bathroom had your toothbrush, contraceptive pills and coconut shampoo. his closest friends, his hyungs...not one of them was devoid of affection for you. he wasn't even confident that if the choice was presented, they would still pick him over you.
by the time jungkook finishes paying and practically sprints to his truck in a daze, he can hardly keep himself from shaking. he palms the wheel compulsively, he could feel the sweat in his sideburns, hoodie suddenly suffocating him. it smelled of you.
and then, like a final curtain call: was he just your latest fixer-upper project? some good girl wet dream to play out in the wake of your emotionally traumatic past? a slap in the face to seokjin, maybe, and nothing more? when you were done, when he was out of your system, when you knew his taste by heart and had nothing new left to try - would you stay? did you even know how to?
did he?
jungkook starts the engine. he drives to your door, drops your bag of snacks and pads on the porch, and texts you before leaving. he does not go inside.
x
x
x
"you sure you'll be okay with just the boys?"
you scoff at seulgi when she pins you with a worrying look, taking some of her clothes out of her bag to re-fold them just so you had something to do with your hands. jisoo had already left for the long weekend with her family, so there was no one there to fill up the empty space between your awakward reply. you didn't know how to tell the girls that jungkook hadn't contacted you in nearly a month. and even though he was a notable flight risk from the beginning, you couldn't help but feel like there was hostility there. every now and again he'd at least send a nude or have a quick phone call when he was drunk or high at three in the morning, but you hadn't heard a peep from him. you couldn't stand the idea of someone you cared about harbouring comtempt for you, but the fear of reaching out and somehow making the situation worse outweighed it tenfold.
you look up to see seulgi still staring at you with concern. "of course i'll be fine! they're boys, not piranhas."
"at least piranhas contribute our ecosystem. boys just cause problems for the hell of it," seulgi lays a hand on the crown of your head like a berating big sister, swivelling you to look at her in your fit of giggles. the urge to nestle you under blankets like a baby bird made her chest heave, and you could tell. "i'm serious. if jimin tries anything, call me immediately okay?"
"jimin?" you snort. "out of a room full of delinquents, my ex, and taehyung, you're worried about jimin of all people?"
seulgi wrinkles her nose. "god, when you say it like that its like i'm throwing you to the dogs." she pauses. "something's up with jimin. i don't know what it is, but he's...off."
you tilt your head innocently, remembering the brief interaction you had with hobi at seokjin's party. you had been so caught up in jungkook - or lack thereof - you hadn't thought to press him about it afterwards. in truth, jimin remained as...jimin as ever. if he was acting differently you certainly couldn't tell. "you think so?"
"mmm," she leans on the lip of the open suitcase thoughtfully. "but maybe with jungkook there, he'll behave himself."
you gulp, fiddling with his watch on your wrist anxiously. "maybe."
x
x
x
you nearly yelp when you feel a big hand swivel around your waist, bucking into the kitchen counter reflexively. jungkook always did this before rubbing his boner against your ass, but the light scent of citrus and short squeeze lets you know immediately that its taehyung. hoseok, jimin, namjoon and yoongi were still in the living room playing video games, giving taehyung the perfect opening to intercept you. namjoon and yoongi had insisted that you come over to their place after finding out you'd be alone for the weekend, and you had completely refused before taehyung's coaxing. and of course, jimin's persuasive nudging. even though you felt safe and relaxed here, it felt wrong to be in jungkook's friends' place without him. almost like a breaching of an unspoken boundary.
and clearly, taehyung picked up on your discomfort by the way he stared at you so softly. his back was to the sink, his sillhouette particularly long and lean this evening. "you need to lighten up, princess. you keep looking over your shoulder so much it's making me nervous!"
your visibly droop with a sigh. "i'm sorry tae. i've had a lot on my mind lately, and..."
he claps his hands on your shoulders, teeth peeking through his grin. "you're not doing anything illegal by being here without jungkook."
you wince at his name. "have you always been able to read my mind like this?"
"absolutely," taehyung's brown eyes look so rich up close. "you're allowed to have friends that are also his friends, because - and try to stick with me on this - relationships between people are allowed to be independant from the primary circles they met in. mind boggling concept, i know."
you wack him on the chest until he laughs. "stop making fun of my anxious thought processes! its called mental illness, sherlock! i can't help it!"
his nose scrunches cutely, enjoying your first fiery outburst of the day. "whatever. i call it not getting laid for a month and losing critical thinking abilities from it."
you gape at him indignantly while taehyung roars with laughter. "you're such a dickhead," you hiss through gritted teeth, yanking his hair and jabbing your fingers in his sides the way you would with jimin during a tickle fight. "whores have feelings too, taehyung! whores have feelings too!"
you both fall about with laughter, knocking over half the snacks on the counter in the process which only makes the pair of you laugh even more. it's such childish chaos trying to clean up the mess on the tiny kitchen floor that neither of you notice the front door open, or the gust of metaphorical and literal wind that follows. watching taehyung trying to salvage a bag of broken crisps is just so funny that the presence of an another voice in the living room goes unregistered, as do the footsteps leading up the hallway to the kitchen, so you have no time to brace yourself or properly pull yourself together with you see-
"...jungkook."
yours and taehyung's heads snap to the doorway. jungkook stands there with almost complete lack of emotion on his face to the pair of you kneeling in crumbs and napkins. there's a brief pause where the tension in your eye contact alone was so strong that it felt wrong to breathe. but it is shortlived. jungkook tiptoes over you like spilled milk, reaching for a glass of water. you and taehyung lock eyes while the tap runs in the awkward silence. "hey. you okay?"
"um," you're not sure whether to stand up, hug him, look at him, or even face him. "yeah! yeah, i'm fine."
he nods politely. "hyung?"
even taehyung looks visibly uncomfortable. "i'm good."
"cool. see you later," he says, downing the glass impressively fast before leaving the room just as fast as he entered it.
you and taehyung stare at each other again, not understanding why you both feel like kids caught eating cake before dinner. you could feel the sweat pricking at your back from the realisation. jungkook had no idea you'd be here, and given that interaction he'd probably want to leave now. there was always the inkling woven between his radio silence that he was done with you, but you never let yourself take it seriously out of logic. because how could months of passion and tenderness and honesty be undone so irrevocably like that? it didn't make sense. you hadn't changed. you were the same girl he hit on relentlessly and chased against all odds. so what was different now?
"____," taehyung calls your name gently, and it's only then you realise you're already up and trailing after jungkook into the living room. when you walk in he's already putting his shoes on to leave again, barely making eye contact with you while he chats absently to his hyungs so he can look busy. the four boys on the large sofa can only reply wearily, eyes darting between the pair of you like a firework was about to blow to soon. and it was.
you could feel it in your throat, under your breast bone, bubbling up your stomach. "wait, jungkook. um...h-how have you been? i haven't heard from you in-"
"i've been good," he keeps tying and re-tying his laces without looking up. "super busy. you know how it is."
his curtness makes you flinch. this same time last month jungkook used to kiss you senseless before he had both feet in the door. he'd ring the doorbell incessantly like a child and greet you with the biggest, toothiest grin you had ever seen. he'd make fun of your bed head and squeeze your cheeks until you'd snap at him. and now when he looked at you he hated every second of it. your mother had the same look. your eyes start to burn involuntarily. "yeah, i do. how is uni? your final project is due soon, right? what theme did you pick in the end?"
"the one i told you about," he stands up abruptly. "sorry, noona. something came up. i'll see you arou-"
"something came up?" you step closer to him. "something came up the second you saw my face? or did you really just trek all the way to your hyungs' place for a glass of water, jungkook?"
jungkook stiffens, but is determined not to lose face. and it's difficult to do under your big, accusatory eyes and jimin's death stare at his back. the whole room was waiting for his response, so he just shoves his hands in his pockets resolutely. "i needed to see yoongi hyung, but i can come another time."
you fold your arms. "well it's clearly important, and you're here now. so don't let me stop you."
"but you will stop me," jungkook snaps. "that's the problem."
"kook-ah," yoongi warns quietly, but he took one look at your face and knew the damage was done. jimin was already standing up, circling around the back of the sofa towards you. the red lights were all there; your watery eyes, your trembling hands. every breath you took looked difficult for you to complete and only jimin noticed.
"what are you talking about?" you squint. it takes you a second to understand; yoongi's guilty expression, jungkook's indifference. "oh, you're fucking kidding me." your resolve breaks for a second turning away only to glare back at jungkook with so much fire you can hardly stand it. "you're selling again? are you insane, jungkook?"
"see," jungkook's eyes are stony. "i knew you'd get this way."
"what other way am i supposed to get?" his lack of response only infuriates you more. it felt disrespectful. "jungkook, you're not a kid anymore. if you get caught with drugs the consequences are serious! forget the potential jail time, you could get kicked out of university, it would go on your record forever and-"
"stop talking to me like i'm a kid!"
"then stop acting like one!" you hate raising your voice, but it keeps climbing without your approval. "did you think about this for even five minutes? this isn't like just going to juvie like before and being done with it jungkook. your hyungs can't bail you out of everything."
"this is a lot of talk for someone who lapped up those fancy paints without a second thought," jungkook says darkly. his eyes aren't like you remember, his face solemn and near unrecognisable. "or did you think that getting that kind of money overnight is only something that's possible through daddy's credit card?"
dread blooms like a garden inside you. "that's...that's how you bought the paint set?"
"welcome to the real world," he quips. "as if selling overpriced weed to a bunch of pick-me-freshmans is considered a crime against humanity to anyone but you."
"you think that's why i'm yelling at you right now?" your voice was growing hoarse, desperate. "you think that's the problem i have with you being literal drug dealer, jungkook?"
he hates it. the sweltering silence, the judgmental eyes digging into his back, the slow realisation that the tears in your eyes were not at him but for him. jungkook's ears ring enough to make him sway on the spot if his feet weren't planted so firmly on the dingy carpet, this metaphorical ground. he couldn't shake the feeling that his lifestyle was only an issue now because of you, how he never felt a shred of guilt about any of this shit until he met you. and if there was anything that jungkook never responded well to, it was pity. and he could feel it from every person in the room, all people that that once cherished and coddled him until you came along. he swallows, throat dry from the way he couldn't look at you knowing what he was going to say next.
"you're embarrassing yourself, noona. you're not my girlfriend and you never were, so stop acting like it."
cotton. it's very faint, under the layers of conflicting cologne and beer and smoke, but jungkook still smelled of cotton while he spat acid. nobody could speak, even though jungkook never raised his voice let alone a hand to you, it still hit like a slap in the face. it sunk into the walls, your clothes, suddenly every hair on your body felt heavy with it. dirty. the shame came first, the humiliation next. and then the sorrow, the dread, and finally the defeat. you knew the stages well by now, and they were cycling through you like clockwork. how foolish you were, to make the same mistake again. nobody dared to move, everyone but jungkook staring at you in denial and horror. they couldn't believe their eyes when you nod steadily, bowing your head to the floor.
jimin is already slotting himself between you, his jaw tight. "that's enough, kook. just leave already."
"no," you stop him, unnervingly resigned. that single word cuts through all six men with ease. "he's right." you step around jimin, closing the space between you and jungkook. for a brief moment he wonders if you'll actually hit him, but somehow watching you unclasp his watch from your wrist and drop it on the coffee table in front of him is far worse. the sound seems to ring like church bells, definitive and umistakable. "you're right, i'm not your girlfriend. you win jungkook."
they all watch you leave in dismay, listen to the door closing softly behind you. within a second jimin sprints after you, calling your name, leaving everyone else dumbfounded. jungkook's stare could bore a hole into the abandoned watch on the table, still ticking away like nothing changed. like his eyes weren't burning, lightheaded at the realisation that he would never wear a watch again let alone the one he put on you.
x
x
x
to an outsider, you looked like you were coping well considering you just got dumped in front of all your friends. but jimin knew that face. your stony eyes, lips pulled thin as if to seal inside the collapse of a monument. you took the tea he offered, and then his arms, your face finding his chest with ease. muscle memory. his torso was a tad shorter than jungkook's, his heart closer to your mouth as if the steady thumps were asking for a kiss of acknowledgement. every time you close your eyes you could see jungkooks face, hard and unforgiving and nothing like the man you trusted all this time. but it wasn't a new expression; you parents looked at you similarly the last time you saw them. it was the look of someone who had no regrets cutting all ties. and now, jungkook was behind them in a lost list of people who chose to be strangers over loving you.
jimin sighs when you cry into his chest, brushing the back of your head gently. he had been ready for this for months, but he still hated to see you this way. again. it made his bones itch, his skin crawl uncomfortably every time you weeped. the only time he considered violence was when you were crying. but he knew what to do, laying down across the sofa so you could curl up into a ball next him, head on his bicep and face smushed into the crook of his shoulder. you used to cry like this for hours and hours, his arm familiar with the prickle of pins and needles. but it was the only place you felt safe. tucked into jimin's side is where you would always belong, and that truth was more glaringly obvious than ever now.
"lets get something to eat," he offers eventually, hand craddling the crown of your head like a child. jimin's other hand on your hip is warm and heavy when he pats you soothingly. in your episodes, you responded well to touch. "what about thai food?"
"not hungry," you grumble against him.
"we could make something together?" he peers down at your lack of response. "come on, babe. you gotta eat something. you didn't even have breakfast-"
"why am i so stupid?" you whisper, a fresh bout of tears welling up.
jimin rubs your thigh. "it's not your fault."
"yes it is. jungkook gave me plenty of red flags, and i ignored all of them-"
"oh, i meant you being stupid."
you scoff. "cheers."
"what?" jimin cocks a brow when you lift your head to look up at him. he wets his lips and you follow the swipe of his tongue thoughtlessly, distracted enough by his touch and proximity that you take a second to digest his words. "it's not like any of this exactly came as a surprise. you ignored me, remember? wanted to flex your big girl pants."
you pull away from him and sit up, forcibly shutting out the daze that jimin routinely puts you under. "what's wrong with you? can't you be polite and wait for a couple hours before laying into me like a normal person? jesus, jimin."
"so let me get this straight," jimin sits up, watching your back as you sit away from him. "you're mad because i'm not telling you what you want to hear?"
"no," you say, head shaking. "i'm not mad. i'm upset because i came here to be comforted by my friend and you're just making me feel worse."
"what do you want me to say, ____? that i had high hopes from the start?" jimin pushes his hair back, brows now at a sharp incline from frustration. "i told you starting something with jungkook was trouble but you didn't listen. why should i feed your victim complex when all i've done is try to help you?"
"victim complex?" you repeat, standing up slowly. the sudden steadiness of your voice causes jimin to panic.
"not like that. don't take it like that, it's just," he's suddenly before you, his warm hands palming up your arms warmly. "i didn't wanna see you get like this and it happened anyway, is all i'm saying." he sighs when your scowl doesn't let up. "if hobi hyung hadn't have given up so easy, then maybe…maybe this would never have happened. maybe if i had been harsher with him then you would have-"
"what are you talking about?" you ask quietly, searching jimin's face. "give up so easy? what's that supposed to mean?"
he looks away, hands slipping off you. "it's nothing."
"jimin."
he struggles to look at you, tongue in cheek. his lips purse for a moment, pink like roses. he's wearing that navy jumper you like. "look, it's not a big deal. he wasn't supposed to fuck you or anything, just take you out for a while. get your mind off kookie, show you a nice time."
your blood runs cold. "what?"
jimin's expression softens. "it's not as bad as it sounds-"
"really?" your voice is sharp, sharper than he's ever heard it. you recoil as if you had been struck for the second time today. "because it sounds like you asked some guy to keep me occupied like i'm a fucking dog. all because you can't stand the idea of me being within a meter of jungkook-"
he steps in, but you step back. "you know that's not true, _."
"don't i?" you scoff, covering your face in disbelief. "jimin, you've been hellbent against me even looking at the guy since day fucking one."
"because i didn't want you to get hurt!" jimin counters, eyes downcast. "i know, okay? i know how much of a dick it makes me sound, but its not like it hurt you when you had no idea! hoseok broke it off before you even knew about it so why-"
"because it's worse," you turn away from him. "you tried to control me. choose what's best for me because you think you know better than i do. sound familiar?"
his jaw sets, and it's like you can hear the twine snap in his head, the percussion of his heartbeat above yours even though he doesn't close the space between you. jimin stares at you for a long minute before drawing in a thin breath. "fine," he steps in, and you can't look away. "you want me to say it? fine. i'll say it."
suddenly the air is lace thin around you as you stare at him, waiting. jimin looks off somewhere else, somewhere you can't reach. "don't tell me you haven't thought about it, because i know you have. if i have you must have too. and lately its all i can think about - being with you, holding you, being the one who gets to touch you. and yeah, maybe it took having to see you with jungkook for me to realise how much i want all that, i put my hands up. but you have no idea what's it like to watch the person you love most get toyed around with by a time bomb like that. i've seen jungkook go through girls like underwear and i love him, god i love him, but even the idea of you being one of those wasted girls sitting outside a party crying over his sorry ass makes my fucking ears ring."
"j-jimin…" you whisper, but you have nothing to say. your hands shake.
"you deserve more than that, ____. you deserve more than waiting around for booty calls or living up to what the next guy wants. from jungkook, hoseok, anyone. you deserve someone's devotion and yeah, maybe all this time i've been too much of a pussy to give it. maybe all this time i was tiptoeing around my feelings for you because i knew if i admitted to myself that i loved you - if i admitted i was just like every other guy - i'd actually set the bar for something other than disappointment. id actually have to step up, and i didn't know if i could do it. i still don't. but if it has to be someone…it should be me."
suddenly he's holding your hands, calming the tremble that rattles them. his words bunch up together in your ears, the meaning lost amidst your awe. "jimin….jimin what are you saying? where is all this coming from, i don't...i don't understand wh-"
"i'm saying," he cups your face. "choose me." he pulls you in. so, so close. "choose me, not jungkook. not anyone else. me."
and there's a part of you that has already caved. that's already kissing him, melting into his arms like you've wanted to for so, so long. you're falling back onto the couch with him in a fit of giggles, curling back into his chest to hide your watery eyes, asking him why the fuck he took so long. you chat together between teasing kisses, pour your hearts out, maybe cry a little. later you would make tea and order pad thai and watch the office all night and fall asleep together in the living room well past dawn and then-
you close your eyes. "i can't."
"you can," jimin says, so passionately you shudder. his brown eyes are teaming with too much determination and ardour for his own good, and you both know it. its difficult to grapple with how huge a risk he's taking, because jimin never takes risks. it made the whole situation seem dire. "you know you can, ____. it's us. there's no one like us."
you don't know how you're not crying yet. you only have jimin to hold onto, hands balled in his shirt without knowing if you're about to push him away or pull him in forever. "maybe back then. maybe if you'd have said all this before," you feel empty, the beat of your pulse suddenly strong in your fingertips. "but it doesn't matter anymore."
he shakes his head in denial, his determination palpable. "of course it does-"
"i'm in love with him," you say. to jimin. to yourself. to the world, finally. "i'm in love with jungkook." holding jimin's stare isn't as difficult as you thought it'd be. "you know if you'd have done all this a few months ago…if you'd have just...i was always yours without question, jimin. and you knew it." it's his turn to bristle under the strain of your voice. "jungkook isn't perfect. i'll be the first one to admit that. he's made me cry, he fucks up, he makes mistakes. but he's never lied to me. he never made decisions for me. he never passed judgement on what i should or shouldn't do with my life. something that i never thought i wouldn't able to say about you, too."
there's a brief moment where everything stops. neither of you can believe what you just said. jimin watches you, frozen in his place as you take your bag, eyes glittering with tears when he calls for you. suddenly he's the time bomb he feared becoming, the panic in his eyes lighting them up like fire crackers. for the first time in his life, he stumbles over his words, and then his feet when you reach for the door, all composure lost. he was unravelling like a tapestry in front of you, never to be repaired, and he could feel it. "____. ____, please," jimin chokes, his cheeks blotchy. "i wanted to protect you, i was just trying to help. don't go. please don't go. i was trying to help you."
"no. you were trying to have me." you say, closing the door behind you.
x
x
x
you have no idea what time it is when you hear the bell ring incessantly.
it had been hours since you'd returned home from jimin's, but there was no way for you to keep track when your only priority was just keeping yourself afloat. you turned your phone off, drew the curtains, and resolved to alternate between sitting in seulgi and jisoo's rooms until they came back. you didn't know what else to do. when you weren't crying you were hyperventilating, and when that stopped the absence of emotion was so powerful you could barely keep your eyes open. you were exhausted but could not sleep. starving but could not eat. it was a miracle you even made it down the stairs, using what little strength you had to yank it open without even thinking about who could be on the other side in the middle of the fucking night. but at this point, you would gladly take a serial killer over jimin or jungkook.
"taehyung," you breathe when you take in his face, relieved. you must look like absolute shit because he scans your face and winces.
"jimin told me," he says, the apology in his voice and expression was almost painful to register. "he told me everything. ____, i'm so sorry. i should have told you about the hoseok thing, i just thought it would be worse coming from me, and then i tried to force jimin into confessing but then he didn't because he's jimin, and now-"
"you're only allowed to come inside if you stop apologising," you say weakly, voice haggered from the hours of crying.
taehyung's pouty expression almost makes you smile with how cute he looks, gingerly stepping over the threshhold. "i really am sorry though."
"for what," you say monotonously, closing the door behind him while he takes off his shoes. "my inexplicably terrible taste in men? my uncanny ability to get manipulated by literally anyone who shows me a scrap of affection? or my absolutey shredded-to-shit attachment style thats barely intact let alone functioning healthily? after hoppping between the first two for a few hours i'd personally go for the latter. but whatever."
"please shut up," taehyung sighs, bringing you into his arms before you could have a second thought about it. "you need to amp up the misandry in this context. a lot of this had nothing to do with you and everything to do jimin and jungkook."
you're too tired to open your eyes, snuggling into the softness of taehyung's chest. you’re too exhausted to argue. "where did you learn the word misandry? have you been reading?"
"yeah," you can hear his big, pleased grin. "i know you and the girls have been calling me a himbo behind my back."
"affectionately," you add, peering up at him. he wipes the wetness off your cheeks, moving upstairs to your room with your hand in his. he fetches you a glass of water before putting you into bed like he's paid to do it. taehyung was the cuddliest person you had ever met, but you had rarely seen him dote on anyone. "girls love himbos. it's a compliment."
"not all girls," he mutters when he returns from the bathroom with a glass of water. "drink this, would you? you look so dry it's making me itchy."
you do as he says with a roll of your eyes. "what do you mean?" you finish your water with a big gulp. "jisoo loves dumb guys, what are you talking about?"
taehyung looks away from you, bottom lip rolling up under his teeth so fast you barely catch it. he pulls up your desk chair next to your bed, thinking long and hard before meeting your eyes again. "i don't mean jisoo."
you don't understand at first, but after staring at his face for a long minute your stomach drops. "don't. don't you fucking dare," another beat of silence. you rip the covers off you to scamble to your knees, grab your pillow and hurl it at taehyung's head. "taehyung, please don't tell me that the one remaining, healthy relationship i have with a man has also been shot to shit because i swear to god i'm gonna-"
"it's not a big deal," he says firmly, and he really does mean it. taehyung catches your wrists when you lunge at him, effectively ending your outburst before it can begin. he keeps hold of them while he stares into your eyes, watching the way they fill up with a fresh bout of tears. "i've had a crush on you for a while, so what? it's not anyone's business but mine so don't worry about it."
you try not to scream at him. "how long?"
"...since the start." he shrugs. "it's not like i could have done anything anyway. with jimin around. he’d never have it."
"but...! but..." you splutter, the highlight reel of your friendship suddenly marred before your eyes. "but you let me talk to you about boys! you gave me advice with hobi and jimin and jungkook and...! you encouraged jimin to confess to me. and the whole thing with jisoo?"
he wets his lips guiltily. "jisoo is a nice girl. i like her, but...not like you. i've always liked you."
you shake your head in horror, your face crumpling. bile rose in your throat. "so all of that...playing with my friend like that. was just to get to me?"
"listen to me," taehyung says firmly, gripping your wrists to make you look at him again. he's so close you can feel the warmth of his breath on yours, and you never realised how large taehyung's torso was compared to yours before. he could have smothered you, but he didn't. in all senses. "the way jimin and jungkook handled their feelings is on them, just like how this is on me. it doesn't matter if i'm fucking you or not, you're my friend and i'll always want people to do right by you. and that includes me."
there was nothing else to say, so taehyung wordlessly wipes your face again and fetches you more water before retreating to sleep on the couch downstairs. all the while you sat there in your bed, confused and bewildered and thoughtful. the same bed jungkook fucked you on. the same bed jimin held you in. out of all the men in your life, taehyung was the only one who treated his feelings for you with reverence. there wasn't one interaction you could think of where he made his feelings clear, where he even hinted towards wanting something more. if he hadn't have said anything tonight, in the wake of one of the most emotionally tumultuous days of your life, you would still be in the dark about it all. and that was the scariest part. you didn't know anyone else who hadn't let their feelings for you effect how they treated you. so ultimately, it was possible.
and jimin and jungkook chose not to do that. but taehyung did.
taehyung did.
when you finally pad downstairs after hours of ruminating, jisoo's bedroom door is wide open. and that's who you should be thinking about now - your friend and sister jisoo - as the sky begins to lighten with the signs of morning. you hadn't slept for over twenty four hours, you were hungry and thirsty, delirious from the whirlwind of losing the two most important men in your life in one day. but still, you are drawn to taehyung. taehyung, who never asked anything of you. taehyung, who was as silent as he was selfless this whole time. taehyung who routinely put what he wanted aside in favour of what was best for you. taehyung, who protected you without needing credit or recognition for it. taehyung, taehyung, taehyung, taehyung, taehyung-
"taehyung," you whisper scraping your nails through his hair. his eyes fluttered open, twisting his head to face you as you hovered above him. he could barely see you in the darkness. "taehyung, wake up."
"what is it?" he croaks, sitting up with half-lidded eyes and a yawn. he doesn't know how to read the expression on your face. he swings his legs off the sofa in a sitting position, wearing nothing but his boxers and tee, visibly alarmed. "what happened? are you okay?"
you take his face in your hands and kiss him.
taehyung stiffens against you, breath drawn thin. you pull away to gauge his expression, desperately searching his eyes in the darkness. for discomfort, disapproval, anything negative at all. the absolute ardour you find instead could knock you down if taehyung didn't reach for your neck, kissing you again. you whine at the feel of his tongue, having no idea where such sudden and intense arousal was coming from. when you pull away with shaky limbs, you climb onto his thick thighs so he can feel your wetness through his boxers. taehyung grunts at the sensation, and again when you kiss him passionately and without abandon. the sweet girl every guy he knew was agonising over, suddenly in his lap. he's barely had his tongue down your throat for ten minutes and you're already rocking into him, his erection betraying his resolve.
it's better than he dreamed.
"taehyung," you gasp, palming him now. he groans when he pulls away to look at your mouth, glistening with his saliva when you take his hand and guide it down to your arousal. "please."
#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook au#bts x reader#bts au#jungkook scenario#bts scenario#jimin x reader#jimin x you#jimin au#bts fic#jungkook fic#jimin fic#jungkook college au#jimin college au#bts college au#myfic
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Favourite Stream Moments:
Streamed by Philza on Twitch on Monday 30th of November
Dream smp today!
(also I figured out the read more thing so the tags aren’t just my post anymore :D
Time to get more stacked today! (aka become absolutely op compared to the rest of the server lmao)
(with certain exceptions ofc but yknow)
1mil vid is on the way! Just thumbnail stuff left to finish!
Alerts are behind again rip (16k viewers before even playing yes!)
Scam train level 5 pog (although it crashed on his end)
little blade lives on!
“the entirety of l’manberg is covered in obsidian because tommy did an oopsy”
(if that’s what you want to call it lol)
FISHING STREAM (in the first five minutes lmao)
Phil called Ranboo being in the spider grinder lmao, he could tell from the lag
FIEST TRY GOD ROD WHAT
(LUCK OF THE SEA 3, LURE 3, UNBREAKING 3)
ONLY THING MISSING IS MENDING WHAT
ALSO SHOUTOUT TO ASHE FOR GIFTING SUBS I ACTUALLY GOT ONE WOW
ranboo just threatened puffy’s mushroom house, then went “idk what happened to it”
fishing stream and now hoping for a mending book!
Phil wants to take the sign down (yknow, ranboos pc background) bc it’s iconic but it ruins like, every clip/screenshot in the area
WILBUR WANTS (MAYBE) TO MAKE SOMETHING CANON REGARDING HIS MOTHER AND PHIL DOES NOT WANT THAT
It’s gonna be another fish isn’t it
WTF ITS NOT MENDING BUT IT IS LIKE, EVERYTHING ELSE FOR A SWORD
Also lol apparently ranboo moved into tommy’s house (build by phil) bc, and i quote, “the child doesn’t fucking use it”
rip the camera? it’s showing the menu lmao
also shoutout to the lesbian donating to beg her gf for some attention lmao
time to commit deforestation to the entire dream smp~~
i looked up bubble guppies for it, but yeah, i kinda get it
lmao phil started cutting down a tree and there was just a creeper chilling directly behind it
mic scuffed now oof
time to get a new pc ig
Somwhere else from Muzz is on and i’m having such terra swoop force vibes i can’t wait for the sequel
Phil had flashbacks going near his old retail store and i vibe with that tbh
Phil is suffering so much while chopping wood bc there’s like 3 people max who chop trees properly
lmao phil misspoke and called tommy fundy’s brother
then he corrected it and now chat is spamming “UNCLEINNIT”
phil’s absolute confusion at first noticing the trident pads, then going “thats 5head as F*” is a mood, i can’t wait for him to get a trident
420SUBS ALREADY WHAT ITS ONLY BEEN AN HOUR
SNOOP TIME
BLEND W SPEEDRUN
It’s the funniest thing to see the entire chat jamming to the song and then once every 50 messages or smth there’s this one confused newbie lmao
uhhh i think i just witnessed jack manifold finding out what happend to his home rip
back to bed bombing for ancient debris!
jschlatt on november 16th: “for personal reasons, i will be passing away”
Phil doesn’t know where flatty patty came from, he just knows it bothers quackity lmao
he just found out, apparently he thought it was a burger thing??? sometimes i pity this man what did he sign up for
the luck ran out apparently, not a single piece yet rip
Phil (and the others) just appreciate the art and the headcanons (and thus the debate continues on about which sibling is older)
hence they don’t confirm anything bc they don’t want to like,,, limit people?
phil likes the reaction meme of the person welcoming a really big wave (titled: me when i watch dream smp) and “angst” on the big wave lmao
also good to know chat has always had cults lmao some things don’t change
dono: “it’s CULTure” lmaoooo
(true tho)
rub it in that you get to listen to wilbur’s new song will you
TUBBO WHY DO YOU WANT PHIL TO GET DMCA’D
ANGST TIME BOTH TECHNO AND NIKI HAVENT SEEN GHOSTBUR YET
and now phil is suggesting that some people just cant see ghostbur
(that man knows exactly what he’s doing)
LMAO WILBUR CAME WITH A BS RUMOUR AND PHIL DIDNT NOTICE IT UNTIL CHAT TOLD HIM
is this wilbur’s new thing?
are we gonna get a “wilbur tells about weird rumours about phil he read on twitter” vid sand jesus style
WILBUR SAID HIS MOTHER IS A SAMGSUNG SMART FRIDGE
chat is spamming “SAPNAP?” now
Momza is shocked phil would do such things
TUBBO WATCHED THIS HAPPEN NO WHY
LMAO SOMEONE WITH SMART FRIDGE IN THEIR NAME JUST USED THEIR PRIME LMAOOOOO
Wilbur raises an interesting point: howtf did Phil find a smart fridge in 1971?
lol Ranboo donated bits just to beg phil to save him
ohh wilbur is going to tromso? that’s gonna be awesome (and really cold) this time of year!
also phil is only now learning that samsung smart fridge is sapnaps nickname rip
Tubbo is Suffering and so am I
SEVEN PIECES OF DEBRIS IN ONE BED WTF
so many cursed yet enlightened comments are being made but i cannot write down every single dono im sorry
Ranboo is finally being listened to poor boy
okay nvm
TUBBO JUST WHISPERED TO PHIL ASKING WHAT CUMZA IS NOOOO
Kristin is clarifying the ranboo thing to phil bless her
fundy has found flying striders?
I am havign flashbacks to techno getting kicked for his jumping horse how is fundy still online
Poor Phil he’s experiencing this fandom’s headcanon skills first hand
he thinks people are “reaching” this is nothing lmao
“kristin why you gotta do me like this”
the fanart is already coming why
it’s so cursed
WILBUR JUST PUBLICLY CALLED OUT ANYONE WHO TRIES TO MAKE THE SALMON AND THE FRIDGE ANYTHING BUT A SALMON AND A FRIDGE
Phil is seriously committed to the other side of that argument lmao
in an attempt to change the topic, phil is now gonna educate us on sharky and george
(tbh i know the tune but from the yogscast lmao)
Wilbur really just went and said “lemme just derail this stream and any that may follow where it gets even the slightest mention”
also yeah the striders are big scuffed, i’ll give it like 24hrs max before a) dream has to like, reset some parts of it or b) he just kills any and all stridersuntil he’s figured out a more permanent solution
Three generations at seeing the messed up striders: Fundy went “i could make money off of this somehow and immediately starts to fly them” Wilbur went “Cursed? let me just log on” and Phil is like, actually trying to figure out what happened lol
also the server is really lagging wow (probably related?)
Phil thinks the striders might be registered by the game as having elytra?
Wilbur says he might’ve found techno’s base and is now attempting to buy the broken strider from Fundy
Okay the spider farm might be the cause there’s like half a frame per second wtf
lol puffy had apparently forgotten she was standing there lmao almost killed the server
techno just logged on just to say “Technoblade” and left again lmao
also phil has been struggling for so long already, just to get a warped fungus so he can ride the scuffed striders
Lmao Phil called the iron door trap for dre ugly and fundy logged back on just to tell him it’s his
The striders are so scuffed it’s insane
fundy is just baby raging lol
STEALZA
Dauly reminder that Phil is just as chaotic as the rest of them: he just lauched a strider up to like, world limit or something lmao
lol i saw a clip pass by in chat called “strider goes nyoom” fitting
Fundy keeps logging back on to baby rage at phil lmao
“watch me bitch”
Screenshot time!
FUNDY SHOT IT NO WHY
“i’m gonna murder this child, im gonna fucking detroy-“
chat is spamming “KILLZA”, “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD” and “KILL THE ORPHAN/FURRY”
so business as usual
Phil thinks that maaaaybe making a strider launcher would not be an “intended game mechanic” and he doesn’t want to get banned lol
“imagine an army, a faction of those flying striders in a war on the dream smp”
“the great lava strider war of dream smp”
we’re getting in dangerous attack on titan territory with this and the walls
phil just noticed the hole in the wall at pokimanes statue lol “the level of simps on this server”
To quench both his and chat’s bloodlust he’s gonna kill the strider fundy said was his lmao
“a soul for a soul”
D E A T H
d e t h
Second daily reminder that PHIL DOES WHATEVER HE WANTS the only thing chat can do is encourage him lmao
“Blood for the blood god’s dad” lmao
lmao jeff escaped and he’s now choosing every single workstation except for the one phil wants
annnd we’re back to replacing lecturns until phil gets the right book
“ranboo is still stuck, correct”
y o u c h
wtf is that book from vikk’s house lmao
“If tommy becomes too annoying you know what to do”???
Phil keeps entering the wrong house lmaoooo
Ranboo is finally gonna be saved!
Hbomb is here as well!
Ranboo gps lmao
Phil is fixing ranboos scuffed stip mine lmao
chat is spamming dadza again
They found ranboo!
Hbomb is donating fire res potions to ranboo lmao
“childproofing the mine”
“do what everybody else does on this server, steal”
HE LIVES
Phil refused to take ranboos diamonds lol
“I’m not gonna take the diamonds from someone who doesn’t have shoes”
it’s cute to like, watch adoption happen lmao
phil is gonna silk touch some diamonds for ranboo aww
“dadza come pick me up im scared” lmao
phil and ranboo talking about mining ya dirt only making sense when you have efficiency 4 diamond shovel like i didn’t find my first diamonds using my stone shovel on my survival world
Momza wants to know if ranboo likes lettuce lmao
he does!
I am hyped as hell for 1.17
(i also really want to know if you could make traps using the wardens,,, imagine)
Phil is teaching Ranboo about optifine dynamic lighting i love life
Ranboo told phil about his first encounter with techno lmao
I am living for these phil ranboo interactions and just,,,,, phil teaching ranboo about minecraft?
also kristin wants to know if he likes burnt lettuce?
lmao phil blocked in ranboo with the ores he needs to fortune
Fake signs (or are they?)
Stream is ending soon bc phil is recording something with tommy!
Probably hardcore on wednesday, but phil is just doing what he feels like every stream!
(the hunger for getting absolutely stacked on the smp is back lmao)
GaRbAgE dAy
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event post time lets goooooo. as usual, under the cut there will be some general ideas for event, pls like this post or slide into my ims/dscrd if u wanna plot! i’m trying to be as detailed as possible but like, there is a lot going on, this list probs won’t be exhaustive. i’m also open to p much anything so pls don’t feel limited to any of these plots!! im down for anything!!! either way, continue below the cut if u wanna know more ab what my kids are getting up to (any dates that arent specified i just... didn’t decide on anything and am open to Absolutely anything):
JAEWON:
general: backstage at the concerts is v welcome for any of the days, just idk, hanging out, i’m tryna keep this v general. pros: jaewon is p proud for unity snatching one of the three closing performance slots, dimensions’ pride indeed. cons: he probably has his tits out, jaewon always has his tits out on stage, he rlly lives like this. anyone is allowed to feel whatever way he wants ab either of those two things.
dec 26: jaewon pulls a blue card cuz sexy pool montage of jaewon. ok im kidding (kinda). idk, kick his ass at games, team up w him to crush the competition, drown his stupid ass, literally anything.
dec 26: so SOMEONE learned his lesson from the halloween party, no alcohol at the ball for him. come clown him w/ memories of that night (he sure doesnt have any) or idk, try to talk him into drinking (he won’t)
dec 26: in general, i think jaewon might forego most of the party, just find a quiet spot to hang out, look at the sea or some fake deep shit. if anyone is feeling up to it come hang out w him and, idk, reflect on the past year. it’s a time for realizing stuff. (the muse in question would have to b somewhat close to jaewon for this but like im always down to plot that out!)
dec 27: idk, jaewon will probably forego most of the traveling and exploring, opt for a calm day on board instead, anything re: that is super welcome.
dec 28: jaewon ends up in team red for the day so like, kitchen antics w/ jaewon. he’s a surprisingly good cook (shoutout to grandma park, the real og, for kicking this idiot into the kitchen since a young age)
dec 30: jaewon pulls blue again and... you’d think he wouldn’t be as disgruntled about it? someone pls kick his shins till he accepts going to the spa isn’t such a bad thing sir just relax for one (1) day it will Not kill you
YUANJUN:
dec 26: yuanjun pulls a yellow card cuz dancing king xiao yuanjun sure as hell is fucking involved in this god damn flashmob sUE ME. local enthusiastic dance teacher, will annoy anyone who Doesn’t Want To Be There into having fun and partaking, cutely messing around w people who are having a good time anything you need him to!
dec 26: in their free time after that he’ll def drag someone along to come explore the ship with him so like!!! will they get lost? possibly, but it will be Fun
dec 26: someone decorate sugar cookies w him at the holiday ball pLEASE
dec 27: yuanjun is DEFINTELY exploring the hecc out of taipei, grab dinner w him, go late night shopping w him, sightseeing, ANYTHING
dec 28: he pulls yellow again so you know how it is, photo session at the zoo, you just know he’s going to vibing so hard taking pictures of animals. whether they succeed or not i’m not decided on, im down for either way tbh
29 dec: YUANJUNS BDAY BITCHESSSSSS. ill probs write up an open ab this, but he’s !!!! going to be so annoying the entire day, he WILL be acting like bc has organized this entire thing Just for his 21st bday and u can’t stop him (you can try tho, feel free to attempt and burst his bubble). again, i’ll do a general open for this but if anyone wants to do anything specific for his bday let me kno uwu
30 dec: this time he ends up w a red card and he will be whining and pouting about his, he rlly has to clean up? the day after his birthday? preposterous how dARE they
31 dec: firework go boom and yuanjun WILL be endlessly fascinated by it, idk man why do we let him look at dangerous explosive things. this isn’t an idea but? it could be? i think? idk man
MINAH:
general: someone that teams up w/ minah and makes a pact to try every restaurant on the ship at least once,,, good food is important okay
dec 26: minah pulls blue and... why do they expect her to play pool games? idk man she’s just going to be worried ab people cuz pls don’t drown children. also good luck if u are on a team w her for anything, you’ll probs lose
dec 26: someone,,, come make,,, gingerbread houses w minah,,, i just think it’d be neat,,, pls i need this
dec 26: minah will mourn not having like a classic christmas at home watching stupid movies and shit, someone that sets up some kind of small tradition w her at the ball to make up for it?
dec 28: minah pulls red and wow kitchen work w minah thats neat she knows how to cook this will be easy WRONG ur stuck w her and shes a huge control freak and will correct every little thing you do and jesus christ woman leave them ALONE they’re TRYING
dec 30: minah pulls red,,, again,,, and tbh this time she won’t be as annoying, just some therepeutic cleaning, if ur muse complains ab it tho she might lecture them. alternatively: ur muse pulled yellow and they think they’re being casual but minah calls them out cuz “hey i didnt see u around before have u been slacking???”
dec 31: minahs baby sister minji is attending the busan concert and minah will be over the moon about it, odds are she will chat ur muses’ ear off ab it backstage, sorry not sorry!
YENA:
general: first things first, yena doesn’t have a roommate yet so like,,, any female-presenting muses hit me UPPPP
general: yena will be complaining backstage at the concerts tbh, she’s tryna celebrate a vacation here why does she have to WORK, does anyone really care to see gal.actic perform anyway?
dec 26: yena pulls red and has to help decorating which honestly she’ll enjoy but i also just need someone to playfully fuck around w her cuz yena doesnt Do excessive labor and instead decorate her in tinsel instead because yes, yena IS the main attraction here thank you
dec 26: yena WILL spend most of the holiday ball in the indoor pool, chilling in a jacuzzi w a glass of champagne or smth, real hot girl shit, you know how it is
dec 28: lucky queen pulls blue which means she gets to go shopping, it also means she’s going to try and scam someone into spending their money on buying her pretty things, whether she’s succesful or not
dec 30: this time. yena is on team yellow and she ends up later tagging along to the spa day and tbh, id like to think she’d do a pretty convincing job at it, acting queen nam yena pop off
dec 31: if u think yena will see the new year sober ur WRONG and truly u should know better, if there is any night she goes stupid crazy its this night just saying
jan 1: god she’s going to complain the living FUCK outta the day cuz of that god damn fansign, in part cuz shes hangover and part cuz ew who even is a gal.actic stan in 2020. either join her in her complaining or lecture her ab being thankful for fans or smth!
#fmdcall#*:・゚♛– «that's a long ass ride» // OOC.#//god this took so long to type up but we did it folks
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unsteady
an: this doesn’t have a read more bc i don’t know how to do them tbh AND i’m posting from mobile. any errors present are yet again my own. i tried to give my dumbass, baby boy javier what i took away in timing is everything. i suggest listening to this version of the song that inspired the title and i hope that you guys enjoy it, i’m proud of this one. i left this with a possiblity for more, if that’s something you’d like to see let me know! feedback is welcome! //// tagging: @spacedadheadcanons, @bonkybaaarnes, @callingmrsbarnes, @buckywiththegoodglare, @drakecaggiula91, @thatsonehellofajedi, @mando-vibes, @i-like-those-odds, @i-am-forever-a-fan, @fvckingavengers, @ikeatwins776
You found becoming a DEA agent to be an easy task, falling into the training and field work like they were second nature. You made a name for yourself, eager to the fight and quick to solve the issues presented to you. So, when the opportunity came for you to take an open post in Colombia, in Bogotá, you took it. Transportig your life to the new country seemed easy enough but finding your place amongst the senior agents proved troublesome, especially when Javier Peña seemed to be involved. You'd been placed with him and his partner, Steve Murphy. Where Steve had warmed up to you quickly, Javier stayed distant and cold. Every bit the asshole you had been warned he would be.
Over the coming months, you saw small breaks in the persona the man presented. Whether it was when you joined he and Steve for drinks after a particularly rough day or at the "family dinners" that Connie held once a week. You, even in the briefest of moments, got to see a different side of him. One that showed the crinkle of his face as he laughed at one of the jokes Steve shared, the warmth of his smile as he watched Connie with the Murphy’s little girl and even the lingering glance he'd give you as you told stories about your early days as an agent. A smirk played on his lips every time he saw you home safely and bid you goodnight.
"You know if you keep this up I may think you actually like me or something, Peña." A smile spreads across you face as you lean against the doorway of your apartment.
"Now what would give you that idea?" Javier has a smile of his own as watches you, arms crossed over his chest and head tilted upward ever so slighty.
You chuckle and roll your eyes, turning to disappear into your quiet home. "Goodnight, Javier."
A brief wave of somethig like sadness fills his chest as he watces you turn away, his arm aching to reach out and grasp yours but instead he is met with the soft click of your door. "Yeah.. goodnight, cariña." He mumbles, sighing and rubbing his jaw before he backs away to head to his own place just a floor below.
In the coming weeks, you saw more of that change in Javier. Once in him lingering near the entrance of the office long after finishing his cigarette, fresh cup of coffee in hand for the both of you. You hid the soft smile that crept on to your face at the gesture behind your cup, walking along with him as he explaied yet another lead in the hunt for Escobar. You saw it again in him seeking you out after another raid had failed and your team had lost four men. You'd be alone, gathering your own thoughts when the knocking at the door had pulled you from your silence. Wiping your face quickly, you opened the door to him standing there looking no better than you felt. His jaw clenched and eyes tired as he took your appearance in slowly.
"Mind if I come in?" The softness of his request betraying the way his features held such frustration. You gave a slight nod and made your way back to the chair you'd previously occupied. When he speaks again there's something in his tone you can't quite place, concern maybe. "I couldn't find you when we got back. You disappeared and nobody saw where you went. I thought you'd left. I needed - wanted to make sure you were okay."
You were silent a few seconds before you brought your gaze to his, fresh tears threatening to spill. "Would you be? I lost men, Jav. I lost four good men because of a fucking raid I planned." There's a bite to your words, not at the man in front you but at the pain in knowing you'd cost someone their life for something you believed in, something you trusted. A wave of nausea brought you to your feet, the emotions overwhelming. You let the tears fall, not noticing the gentle pressure of Javier's hand on your arm as he pulled you close. You didn't fight him, instead you turned into him and gave yourself over to the sobs that racked your body.
"Easy, cariña. Easy." Javier rubbed the small of your back, holding you close and letting you cry. His heart broke for the pain you felt and the thought of the guilt you carried. "What happen.. What happen today, it wasn't your fault. The best laid plans fall apart every fucking day and I know that better than anyone else. So does Steve. But this, this raid and what happen to those men wasn't your fault. You want someone to blame, you blame me. Not yourself, me. Understand?"
You listened to him, your tears slowing as spoke to you. Firm but gentle. When you did't respond he said your name softly, repeating his question. "Blame me, no one else. Understand?" He gave you gentle squeeze, words slightly muffled by your hair as he rested his chin against you.*You nodded slowly, pulling away from his tear strained shirt, and answering. "I understand but - "
"No buts. You did your job well today and thats what matters for now. Losing men is never easy but we recover, come back harder the next time and you can bet we will. Harder and faster than this time. We'll avenge the fallen and take that bastard Escobar down a peg or two when we do." Javier looks over your face, absentmindedly reaching to brush a stray tear from your cheek. He lets his hand linger before he shakes his head a little and steps back. "You should take the day. I'll get your reports done. Just go home and rest, yeah?"
You don't stop him as he pulls away, don't reach out fo him the way you want, instead you nod slowly and wrap your arms around yourself to savor the bit of his warmth left. "Are you sure, Jav?"
"Positive, miel. Go home, rest and I'll check on you when I get done here." He gives you a soft smile, not hesitating to reach out and brush your hair from your face. "Maybe I'll bring food too."
"Nothing you cook though because I want to survive the night." You smirk, laughing at his look of shock. "Sorry, you're a great agent but a shit cook." When he grumbles a response, you just shake your head and press a gentle kiss to his cheek. "Thank you, Jav." You squeeze his arm and smile, glancing back at him before you step out into the hallway.
He feels it then, the unsteady beating of his heart as he watches you leave. The feel of your lips still on his cheek and your scent lingering on his shirt, he knows what it is but he won't say it, at least not aloud. He just sighs, "Shit..."
The month that follows is different, you can't place it but something is different between you and Javier. He's more attentive, checks in on you more frequently. Lingering touches, soft smiles and few too many quiet moments shared for you to keep ignoring whatever may be there growing between the two of you. You don't get to bring it up to him, address the elephant in the room, before another wave of information comes in. Leads you needed to help the raid you, Javier and Steve were planning. Though leery to go out again, your partners encouragement had you eager to finally put a dent in the armor Pablo Escobar thought he wore.
"We've get every possibly scenario covered. Too many guards, too few guards. Nothing in the lab, something in the lab. Civilians present, no civilians present. I'm not saying it's perfect but its about the best damn plan we've had in a while." Steve looks up from the map to the small gathering of men, including you.
"Doesn't mean we shouldn't be careful. Expect the unexpected, I don't want another repeat of last time." Your arms cross over your chest as you look at everything spread across the table. “Everyone gets a vest, everyone has a partner. You watch each others back. We work quickly, we get home faster."
"Well you heard her. Date prisa, go get the gear and be out front in ten." Javier gives your arm a firm squeeze and winks before he joins the other men leaving the room.
You feel his gaze on you before you speak, sighing as you look at Steve. “What Murph?"
"You gonna tell him?" Steve quirks an eyebrow as he pops his gum and rocks on his heels.
Your breath catches and you brush it off as a cough as you start to speak again. "I don't know what you mean. There's nothing to tell anyone."
Steve scoffs, shaking his head as he gathers things from the table. "Uh huh. You keep telling yourelf that, darlin.” He smiles and squeezes your shoulder, "If it helps, he feels the same way. I've been that asshole's partner long enough to know when he's fallen for someone and that someone happens to be you." He heads towards the door, glancing back once more. "Just... Just don't wait too long to tell him. With our job, we aren't always promised tomorrow. But I told him the same thing and so far no one has made a move.”
You hesitate in the now quiet room and let Steve's words sink. Whatever you felt, Javier felt it too. You wouldn't wait past today, you'd tell him as soon as you could. "I'll tell him tonight." With vocal confirmation, you nodded to yourself and went out to join your men.
Javier had been right that day in the office as he held you close, the best laid plans really do fall apart and its usually in the worst of ways. There had been an ambush waiting, a leak from your own department tipping the guards off. You were all outnumbered before you even got there, but when you did you gave them hell. Losing two of your own men as they worked to stop the assault. When the man you'd paired yourself with was taken down, you felt the fear of not making it set in. It make you hyper aware, but not enough. Javier had covered your six after your partner went down, keeping an eye on Steve as well. That's how he saw him, lurking just out of your peripheral vision and coming up fast. The solid body crashing into you was enough to distract you from the shots but when the body didn't hurriedly move, you knew something was wrong. You shifted enough and the body of your protector landed beside you, causing him to groan lowly. You could see the blood pooling slowly, panic rising as your eyes traveled up to his face. Javier.
"Steve, fuck! Steve, get some medic here. Javi is shot, he's bleeding out!" You look around for Steve, locking eyes with him as he brings his walkie to his mouth.
"Necesito abulancia. Oficial de policía abajo." He listens to the feedback and curses. "Goddamnit! They're ten minutes out, he got that long?"
You survey the area of the pooling blood, grimacing at the pained sound Javier produces. "Maybe.. I can't be sure. He took a couple rounds, looks like they went through but its not good. It doesn't look good, Murph." You feel the familar burn of tears as they start to form. Steve's voice fading away as you look down to the soft call of your name. "Jav? Take it easy for me, okay? Try not to move."
Javier blinks softly, the vision of you him above edged in darkness. "Mi sol.." He winces, grasping at your hand as you press it against the wounds. "Oh mi sol, I'm sorry."
His sun. You blink back tears as you look him, cupping his face carefully with your free hand. "Javier, why? Why would you do this?" You don't hold back, letting the tears fall freely. The sound of the ambulance outside not pulling you from the moment. "Javi, why? I don't - I can't lose you now."
Javier smiles, its weak and fading but he smiles as he squeezes you hand and starts to lose consciousness. "This.. This is about keeping you alive." When he starts to drift off, he hears hurried spanish and your cries.
A week. Javier Peña lays in a drug induced coma for a week before he starts to become aware again. Its slow at first, a groan that has you gathering a nurse then a few mumbled curses as starts to fully wake up. You watch him drink slowly from the cup of offered water. Closing his eyes again before he slowly opens them once more to scan the room, you hear his breath catching softly as he looks at you. You don't hear the nurse leave, you don't feel yourself move until your close to his side and his hand is in yours. The warm, tan skin familiar and welcome in your grasp.
You get choked up as you start to speak, the reassuring squeeze of his hand in yours bring the words forward. "I.. I thought I lost you."
Javier's voice comes out soft, raspy from lack of use. "Can't kill me if they wanted to, miel. I'm too fucking stubborn to die." He laughs and grimaces, shifting in the bed for you to have room to sit.
You reach up, rubbing his cheek gently once you finally join him. "Well you at least got the stubborn part right." You tease, wiping your eyes as you look at him. Stubble lines his jaw and chin, his hair unkempt and you know he's never looked better. Never looked more alive.
"What's on your mind?" He questions, running his thumb over your knuckles as he watches your eyes shift over him.
"Do you remember what you said? Before you blacked out?" You work your lip between your teeth before he slowly reaches up and pulls it free.
"Si." He cups your cheek, no hesitation in his movements. "Por qué?"
"What did you mean? 'This is about keeping you alive.' What does that mean?" You lean into his hand, savoring the feel of him against your skin.
Javier shifts, taking his hand from your face and wincing he sits up more. When he's finally up and stable, he leans in presses a soft kiss to your lips. Sighing against your mouth as you return his affection, he breaks the kiss and rest your foreheads together. "It means that I can't picture my life without you in it and I don't want to. I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you that, to tell you I love you."
You smile, matching his own as you kiss him again. "Glad to know it takes almost dying to get you to confess your feelings." You joke, closing your eyes and basking in the moment with Javier. "I love you too and I'm not going anywhere."
#*unsteady#javier peña x reader#javier peña#javier pena x reader#javier pena#narcos#pedro pascal#pedro pascal character x reader#pedro pascal character#ash writes
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anon: The artist @franeridart answers all of their asks in one mass post with a read more link so maybe you could try that as well. That way you could answer everyones ask but not spam anyones dash with all of your replys
you genius anon, and you genius artist! I just feel like as of late I have been getting a lot more things in my askbox, and I dont want to overwhelm anyone with spam. so, I will be creating these! unless it’s for y’all thirsty hoes asking for extra parts or whatever from very recent posts, expect this to happen every so often! the rest will be below cut. also first time using photoshop? how’d I do yall??? and also like.... let me know if you like this idea??? if not i’ll just resort to spam :)
@your-parental-figure : IK BUT DETECTIVE GUY CONSIDERED BOTH TOKOYAMI AND KIRI TO BE ALL MIGJTS SUCCESSOR DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT MENT??? THAT MOMENT WATERED MY CROPS, CLEARED MY SKIN AND SOLVED WORLD HUNGER
oh season four episode one, you may have been a filler, but you made me so happy to watch. honestly ngl, I was pretty surprised when he said kiri, not because he has no potential, but because it seemed like the top 4 from the sports festival, bUT FUCK YEAH KIRI AND TOKOYAMI!!!!! IN A DIFFERENT WORLD IT COULDVE BEEN THEM!!!!!
anon: Makeup smut for villain Deku should be good. 100% tender, no chicken
honestly, my favorite thing at this point is seeing you all crumble in fear if i’ll even give you a happy ending, and tbh idk if it will be for villain!deku >:)
@ohmycolie: So it’s Saturday night and I’m just sitting at home 🤦🏼♀️ could you maybe do a scenario where Bakubaby and Kiri decide to bring Kami into their sexcapades and after their little adventure Kiri is like “can we keep him?” 🤤💕
hi bby, while I can imagine something of this sort I am only a “x reader” blog :( so while its good thirst, I won’t be writing anything about it, sorry :( ily tho!
@michealsheep: Honestly is shiggy ended me after an intense nut like that I’d just thank him
honestly, I want shiggy just to end me??? whatta way to go. death by fucking nut.
bigdickkiri: I don’t get ship wars. Why do people wanna be so mean? It’s so easy to not be a part of any a that.if everyone appropriately tagged their posts, blacklisted rags they don’t like and didn’t act bitchy then they wouldn’t be an issue. - bigdickkiri
neither do I honestly. they’re just people looking for drama at this point, and it’s like... come on... you’re 25... stop
bigdickkiri: What a fantastic evening to tell my favourite writers that I adore them and that they're amazing! Look after yourself and have a gorgeous day! ❤️💙❤️💙 - bigdickkiri
I’m literally the worst. but um, I adore you so much, and I think you’re amazing!!!!! its 2am rn, but I can’t sleep anyways
🍒💥anon: Girl, your blog is having a glo up!!! I love it!! So pretty 👌 How are you doing today? Are you taking care of yourself? *sending good vibes and virtual hugs your way* -🍒💥
teehee, thank you for noticing!!!!!! i’m not 100% happy with it rn, but I haven’t had the time to get it perfect!!! wait a few more weeks and when I have actual down time, im fixing it >:) also, I am doing well, a lot of caretaking today! I never take care of myseld! *accepts the good vibes and virtual hugs because I am touch starved*
anon: I'm part of the protect uraraka squad!!! ♡
me too boo! you wanna fight me on my mochi loving girl meet me on the corner of my fists and in your faCE!!!!! (is this considered cyberbullying?)
anon: WTF @ THAT ANGST I M SAD NOW
this was in regard to my fic “because of you” which I posted because I was in a crying mood. HAHAHAHAHA YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO FEEL SAD I WINNNNNNNN
@joyfullydawn: I just wanted to say you're heccin' amazing??? The fact you named that roommate one "And they were roommates" I just--yes. This is more than ok. This is excellent. Please keep being awesome aaaa
and they were roommates was the first series I had, and the thing I did in celebration for 100 followers.... jesus that feels so long ago and not in fact less than two months ago!!!!!!!!!!! maybe I should reblog my old works so you newer lovely followers can read them!!!!!
anon: would u ever do a part 2 to under the mistletoe with aizawa? its so sad and i just want them to be HAPPY
I am planning on doing it!!!!! it’s in my requests, so no worriesssss ;)
hermana anon: hermana that todo angst 🥺🥺you’re literally the best angst writer jdjdbd
okay but for real do I write actually good angst??? asking for a friend..... and HGAIGHJIAORGHUOG THAKN YOU FOR THAT COMPLIMENT!!!! PLEASE RECOMMEND ME ANGST FICS BECAUSE I LOVE CRYINGGGG
🍒✨ anon: this has literally nothing to do with anything that’s on your account right now but do you think that dabi sends shoto happy birthday messages? i like to think he does because even if he’s a villain, he still lowkey care about his siblings - 🍒✨
this was from a very long ass time ago, and im sorry I never responded to you sparkle cherry anon, but I definitely do believe that he sends birthday cards. with his baby bro’s increase in his fangirl club, he now is unafraid to send shouto a card. its always the only one that catches shouto’s attention when he goes through them because they’re weirdly personal. shouto, being a smart yet dense idiot, believes its someone in the class pranking him.
~ I won’t be posting these messages, but they were from awhile ago when I was hitting a rough patch with my insecurity as a writer and my ability to give my all to you. there are many of you, 19 messages in total, where you told me why you loved my writing. I never responded to them because they make me cry even now looking back at them. to each and every anon, I thank you for saying those kind words. to @saladsharkz, @thecryingsombra, @olivenight17, @shutupwylow, @expressyourstarstruckrebel, and @awkward-theaterkid thank you as well. there is another non anon, but they asked not to be revealed. thank you so sososo much.
~ I will not be posting these as well, because again, drama from awhile ago. but this was in regard to the anon who did not like the kinklist I had created for kinktober. while now I think I am doing a pretty damn good job, and no one has said otherwise, to the 2 anons, @connors-my-boy, and bigdickkiri, thank you for fighting an anon that was never your responsibility to take <3
@w0w-s0-3dgy: u make me uwu so much🥺❤️ I LOVE YOUR PAGE BABE I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL!
BBY I LOVE YOU AND I AM DOING WELL NOW!!!!! THANK YOU FOR LOVING MY PAGE LITERALLY WHERE WOULD I BE WITHOUT YOU?!?!??!!
anon: You followed me and idk if it was just to be nice or if you want to be friends or what hdhakanskenebdhsiq
im starting to follow back people that make me happy. it’s been awhile since ive been on a followspree, but I follow you back when i see kind messages from you, when I see that you’ve liked so many of my horrible posts, when you reblog my things with the most amazing tags. I follow you because I want to be your friend, you’re always welcomed to be my friend!!! hell you can literally be like “bitch listen to this” and never once having spoken to me I will respond with “give me the fucking chisme my queen”
anon: *gives u an encouraging and comforting yeehaw*
now.... now I can conquer the world, thank you
anon: Hi! I love the way you're writing things for kinktober, and I'd personally love if you could reblog what you're writing multiple times because I'm at uni most of the day so I miss out on a lot. Pd. I absolutely adore your writing! Please keep up ❤
I AM TRYING TO REBLOG MY STORIES NOW BUT OMGNGSOUHFIPA YOU LIKE HOW I WRITE?!?!?!??!?!?!
heathers anon: Its the anon who sent the Dabi heather au. I send it because i know your popular and a lot of popular blogs check your blogs. And I honestly struggle with other blogs because they ignored most of my asks.
teehee, I appreciate you thinking im a popular blog and that other popular blogs check mine, but thats not true!!! sorry for never responding back, but i’m sure they’re not meaning to ignore you on purpose. there’s just so much happening things get buried!
@sinnaminsvga : we're both alyssa so it's really interesting to see the nicknames u use bc i see you use lyssa and i got the nickname ari and i think that's pretty neat how we both have the same name but wildly different nicknames
it don’t matter, we be alyssa twinsies!!!!!!!!!!
anon: I was just going through your master list, cause I’m in a stunning mood and why not make a good mood better? and I saw bakugous “sickness and that word I can’t spell” got hella happy for a sec CAUSE YES THAT WAS SO ADORABLE AND I LOVED IT. Then I remembered the heart shattering angst that came with Todos side. So like. Ily but you a meanie.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHA WE LOVE SUFFERING!!!!!! I just... really have a thing for angst it seems... don’t tell my followers though, im in denial over it...
#ask lyssa anything#lyssa doesnt shut up#anonymous#hermana anon#big dick kiri anon#heathers anon#dabi headcanons#thank you all so much I do love and appreciate every single one of you out there :)
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Lost & Found Batch #20
Can’t start up the blog again without posting the newest batch! As always, if you happen to know the fic the ask is looking for, reply to this post or send us an ask with the request number and title/author. If you happen to know any fics from Past Batches, those are more than welcome as well. Thank you!! ~ Admin P
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1) Hi! I’m looking for a fic I read quite a while ago and if you can help me i’ll be forever grateful... it was about namjoon having powers and accidentally causing damage, so seokjin (who was a kind of a social worker assigned to him) sent him to live with yoongi as a way to make up for his “crime”. Yoongi was also magical and lived isolated from society. If I remember correctly hoseok was also guilty of something and sent to yoongi with namjoon. Sorry if it’s too vague, but that’s all I remember
2) Hi, I decided to give this a try though I think the fic may have been deleted because I just can't find the fic anymore. Basically its ot7 and the main character (Jungkook?) took the boys to meet his mom. The author had the boys super athletic, tall and in college;they were also from Texas. Jungkook sadly had to deal with homophobic classmates. It was a one shot I believe.
Hey, Momma by CaridwenAngetueur1
3) hi!! i’m trying to find a yoonmin fic i read a while ago, where yoongi lived in this small town and had an apothecary and jimin would come and sing in the town centre, and yoongi would give him something for his nerves before he’d go on stage. i remember jimin would glow and light would shoot out from him when he sung. it was a completed fic on ao3, i can’t seem to find it. thank you so much for your help!!
4) Hello! If you don’t mind helping me, im looking for a jikook fic i can’t seem to find again on ao3. Its a time travel, canon au where present day bts where in japan and Jungkook had went through a shrine? He ends up in the past with younger!bts and acts as like a cousin to Jungkook until they can figure out how to send him back. I remember there being a scene where younger!bts miss their flight to help older!jungkook get back to the future? If you need more details please let me know. Thank you!
5) Hello! I'm looking for a vmin fic where flowers literally grow on Tae and he's really insecure about it and gets depressed. It's super soft and fluffy and the entire thing is pretty much just Jimin taking care and comforting him. I'm pretty sure it's a one-shot and that they are the only two that are explicitly brought up. I love it so much and I hope that this isn't too vague.
6) hi idk if any of u can help me find this fic but imma try: its an au in which kids go disappearing often and i can only remember that one day taehyung is one of them and jungkook takes it up on himself to find him bc he firmly believes that he isnt dead yet. not sure bout this but i also think tae got kidnapped to get tested on? and seokjin is one of the doctors in that institution??? this fic is written by a fanboy as far as i can recall and had a reallyyyyyy hard to remember title sigh 😔
kotov syndrome by wormkun Note: The fic is locked and requires an AO3 account to view
7) Hey so I read this fic a while ago but no matter what i search, i can't seem to find it. Namjoon was a depressed ?college student? and he wrote songs that he only showed to his friend Jimin. He and Jimin go to a coffee shop where Yoongi works and yoongi keeps leaving notes to RM on Joon's coffee cups, but namjoon doesnt' know who RM is. I think it turns out Jimin had been posting Joons songs and yoongi recognized his voice and wanted to encourage him. NJ writes always and almost attempts suicide
8) Hello, I was wondering if you could help find this fanfic I've looking for forever. It's an ot7 relationship fic ( I think it's jimin centric). it was still not completed. The summary was something like taehyung asking jimin if he wanted to be in a relationship with them and jimin saying No. Because technically he already knew they were all in a relationship and he felt betrayed that he was left out for so long. There is something about a creepy sasaeng fan too. I would really appreciate it.
Last to Know by Meadow_Wanderer
9) Hi! Im looking for an au fic where Jungkook was depressed, and was with V who had anger problems bc of past child abuse. Jhope didn’t like Jungkook bc of something about his dark past involving his sister who I think was raped and died. I also remembered RM having a tattoo and being an ex member of a mafia group. He blew a gas station up, and Jin thought he died but he came back, and they had sex on the window. JK attempted suicide as well but Jin saved him. Thanks!!
10) I'm searching for a vminhope fanfic. It was I believe an A/B/O one. It was on aff. Hoseok was a berserker, Jimin was a beta and Tae was an omega.
11) Hi!!!!! I've been looking for this one fic forever. It's about jungkook who's an art student and jimin and taehyung are cops who look out for him. Jungkook talks a lot about suicide and he's a university art student. I think one of the art projects in the fic was a corpse painting with flowers. Jungkook also stole from a convenience store and when jimin and Rae caught up to him they noted he had a red beanie in his pocket. Thats all. Thank you!!!
12) There was this fic where Jungkook was lonely and lived alone in a hut on the woods, and he saw Jimin in a club took him to that hut and Jimin tried to run away but Injured his leg and had to stay. It's wip, and now i can't find it :( help please?
13) i'm having trouble finding a fanfic about taekook, where jungkook finds taehyung in a lake (or any body of water), and it turns out that he's from past times. he shows taehyung around present day, and taehyung at one point dresses up as a cowboy. jungkook gives taehyung's peepee the big succ, they get caught by the police, but they run away. from my memory, that's where it ends, or there may be more to it. even tags from ao3 to jog my memory will help.
14) I read this Taejin fanfic a while ago and now I can’t find it, all I know about it is that Taehyung was in some way abused and Jin brought him to his home, also that Jin had a twin brother, also it had many chapters, if you can find it I’ll be very grateful!!!
15) Hi! I read a yoomin fic in ao3 when I was new in the Fandom and I can't find it anywhere, I remember it being angst, mostly Yoongi's pov, it was set in the I need you era and Yoongi played the piano for jungkook's dance, I also remember Jimin struggled with eating disorders and alcoholism and that at some point they had a big fight when jimin came home drunk in a random cab d
16) Hi! I can't find a fic I read few years ago, so I was wondering if you could help)) It was Taehyung/Namjoon fic, and Namjoon hired him as his fake ex-boyfriend so that his friends (Hoseok and Jimin if I remember correctly) would stop asking him to go on dates or smth like that.
if it bleeds by wertstoffhof (roachprince)
17) Hello! I’m hoping you can help me find a fic, it’s a mental hospital one where all the members apart from jin and namjoon are in the mental hospital and another member (maybe jungkook) arrives and it turns out jin is making up their diagnosis because he thought they’d want to stay longer. If that’s too brief i can remember specific bits but i couldn’t find anything on your tags, thank you! Jin is a sort of like a therapist who looks after them and namjoon is like the manager of sorts i think
Seeking Heaven by fullofsuga
18) Hello, hope you're well! I was wondering if you could help me find a Jihope fic that I've been looking for forever! Jimin was friends with Taehyung and didn't know the rest of the boys until he was added into a group chat. I remember that Jimin worked in a shop that was broken in to, and that Taehyung didn't want Jimin and Hoseok to date? I think the chapter titles were all days of the week as well - thank you!!
19) Hey do you know the name of this historic au fic where Yoongi is a chaebol and I think he buys Jungkook from his abusive dad to be his servant? I remember he teaches him how to read and even gives up his money just to be with jungkook and becomes an author
tear the moon from the stars tonight by euphoriae
20) Hi! I'm looking for a YoonMin fanfic that's a pretend/fake dating au, where Jimin was at the grocery shop and his ex suddenly came up and started teasing/mocking him? Then Yoongi suddenly came up behind him and started pretending to be his bf? Thank you so much and I'm so sorry for the bother!
21) Hey! I've been looking for this fic forever (i've tried every tag on ao3, god help me). It's a v/yoongi fic where tae is really into public sex and yoongi too, but yoongi is shy at first. there's a scene at the beginning where yoongi is on a date with a girl and he goes to the bathroom to masturbate. at the middle they both are in a restaurant with 2 other people (from bts, i can't remember which members) and tae touches him. at the end tae masturbates yoongi in a restaurant/karaoke booth?
Hands-On Learning by pornographicpenguin
22) Hi! Looking for this multi chaptered abo fic where Yoongi is a omega and kookie presents as an alpha during practice and triggers yoongi's heat. Later on jin and joon become mates but it's mainly about yoonkook slowly getting together... Idk if that's helpful but it's driving me crazy because I can't find it
23) Hi, I'm looking for an old jin/yoongi fic that had a magical element in it I read a while ago and need a little help. Yoongi is an underground rapper and he always passes by this shop. One night after a gig he actually stops in front of it and goes in. Jin runs it and gives him a drink. (I think its tea but idk) he also gives him a muffin or cupcake. At the end jin tells yoongi he was looking for love and that's what led yoongi into the shop.
24) Hi! I’m looking for a fic I read a year back. It has Jin as an assassin and he saved the maknae line from abuse and stuffs and they fell in love with him. And he also has a relationship with Suga
25) Weird fic I read but I want to see if more came out. Anyway it's super weird, bts is the a werewolf gang and they go to a party for the higher ranking alphas. There they meet an omega of a high ranking alpha and then more stuff happens that I can't remember. I just thought of it randomly and I wanted to see if you could find it. It's okay of you can't I appreciate the help either way.
26) Ok color me corrected if you manage to find this fic, but I can’t seem to remember anything about it. It’s a red string of fate/soulmate au but I CANNOT remember the pairing. I think it was canon divergent, they lived in the dorm together. I remember that the string was actually tangible and the pair would always trip over it. Thanks haha
27) I am looking for a fic I read ages ago. It was jikook, they were in high school. Jk is really rich and loves taking photos one day he sees jm and is compelled to take a photo of his bright orange hair. Tae sees the photo and hires jk so take photos of jimin as he never sees him smile. Jm is very poor, he is freinds with joon and tae I think. Jin is jks brother. Jm initially gets mad at jk but eventually they become friends and fall in love. There was some past stuff with taegi too I think.
Imperfectly Perfect by whenIseeUsmile
28) Hi. I'm looking for a fic on ao3. It's a historical royalty au and I think it's yoonmin. I think it's incomplete too. Yoongi is a prince and his brother is JK. Jimin and Jin are spys from a neighbouring kingdom that's on the verge of war. The last chapter I remember has the castle being invaded and the royal family being killed, there may have been a fire. I hope you can help
Death In Disguise by pikachoi
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me infodumping abt marvel!wren and her infinite wren-ness cranked up to 12
(SO jsyk wren lives in Midtown’s basement in an old computer lab. she’s about a year below Peter but in some advanced classes (namely science and history but thats it.) so she like...vaguely knows him but loves michelle (u cant convince me otherwise wren wouldnt be head over heels for her + probs started calling her mj) so that’s a thing.)
anyway, the kossor bullshittery happens like...either after dark world but before civil war. alt hot take, after iw (as in, everyone is fine, nobody is dead. iw was just a fight over the last hot pocket, avengers are back together.) the fog rolls in every night across NYC and it gets bad enough that there’s a curfew in effect (but people are dumb and go in anyway) so wren (being a dumb person) goes into the fog. she thinks shes gonna die but instead turns into a funky little alien. she thinks she’s a mutant (she isn’t.) and has the power to transform based off chemical responses (half right.) what does she do? she becomes a fucking superhero that’s what.
so she’s running around, trying to fight in like, the worlds shittiest costume but a cool mask (she made everything herself. her mask looks like this and her costume looks like this just without the mecha arms) and wren’s like ‘oh i wish i could control my magic instead of only using it when im scared.’ and woosh, loki comes along like ‘i can help but i need a favor’ and she’s like ‘ya what u need strange green deer’ so loki’s like ‘i’ll teach u how to hide me on earth bcs i got some stank dudes on me’ and shes like ‘aight cool lets make that happen, im THE DARK MAGE; HEROINE EXTRAORDINAIRE whats ur name’ and hes like ‘yeah im loki and we gotta work on that name.’
so they’re doing their thing, wren destroying anything and everything while he teaches her to control her magic so it doesn’t hurt her anymore. all the while she’s explaining her life to him like ‘i met u two weeks ago do u wanna hear my life story’ ‘no’ ‘too bad im an amnesiac orphan and i live in a basement its cool but im also a very cool mutant whos a hero. very neat and cool but people keep trying to kill me’. also i should mention people are trying to kill her left and right bcs word of a perfect-amalgamated hybrid is being spread and an organization of anti-hybrid assholes known as CICADA are like ‘hey kill her and we’ll give u money’. all the bad guys are like “ooh money” or “that nasty halfbreed is going down murder time.” (she does not know shes a hybrid. oblivious baby.)
so loki knows because he isn’t wren: local dumbass. and hes like “is it true ur a descendant of banished asgardians” and wren’s like “im asgardian? neat.” but eventually kossor shows up like “im here to kill the runaway experiment real quick, thanks.” and they fight! but he eventually paralyzes her with a spell only to spill the beans on what she is. turns out, she’s a project called “Warbreaker” whose essentially a natural hybrid with the fused soul of a general and a child soldier smushed into her body. wren, understandably is pissed to shit but can’t really do anything bcs she’s being strangled as her creepy..uncle? father? whispers to her. anyways she’s left to die for 12 hours (he thinks the paralyzer will kill her. it didnt it just kinda...paralyzed her body.) and she has a meltdown because shes alone and faced with the truth about who she is. she believed she had a family somewhere waiting for her to come home, even if she didn’t have parents but now she’s just a disgusting half-breed with a price tag on her head and a target on her back who cant do anything except die.
loki finds her once the fog lifts with the dawn and hes patching her up and she just starts...crying. she explains what she is and hes like ‘oh welcome to the club i got lied to too’ and they have a Moment of Bonding-ness over their shitty families and heritage. but she kinda takes a step back and asks ‘what am i fighting for’ and at this point, she just wants kossor to stop. shes now furious and on a path of vengance and loki’s like “u go baby”. so wren makes a call-out post in the form of a literal war call and theyre gonna duke it out babey!!!
and now they fight bcs wren’s like ‘idfc what i am, what ur doin is wrong asshat’ and kossors like ‘u again, lol perish thot’ and then they fight (its cooler than i make it sound, im sorry.) but it takes 6 hours and both are like, at the fucking brink and wren jsut sucker punches the shit outta him with some magic (namely the illusions loki briefly taught her). so now kossor’s dying on the floor and wren’s dying standing up and he’s like “im sorry i didnt mean to start a war i just wanted my sister back.” and wren’s like “maybe don’t take bribes from extremists then” (i imagine their final conversation to be either deeply moving and influential to wren’s character or just. this vine) but now with his death comes more problems but now wren is stronger than before (using her soul of literal chaos as a fuel for her magic was a good idea) and ready to fight to defend people bcs why not (justice. thats why.)
but two months later shes back up from her hyperthermia induced coma and she’s like “Shit my homework fuck and also loki” (loki has Vanished in loki fashion, aka thor is on earth). cps finds her again and puts her back in a home bcs they thought she was just caught in the fog. but she’s being dark mage, running round the city fighting criminals/alien bad guys trying to kill her but sooner or later she gets a call from the avengers/nick fury and hes like “hey u wanna do an interview” and shes like “yeah its not like ive dreamed of this moment since my childhood as a small 15-year-old i mean I Am An Adult, I Pay Taxes, I Drink The Al Col Hall.” so, like any good person, she lies about her age to join the avengers after an interview with fury and hill (where she just tells how she beat up kossor but lies about her age and who loki is bcs she doesnt go back on her promise of hiding him) so theyre like ‘cool ur in welcome to the avengers dude’
so she’s living in the tower/compound and for Dramatic Purposes (learned from someone) she never takes off her mask and never really...talks. Only on missions when her Serious Wren shows up. but the kinda break her little shell and shes just so quirky u cant help but get charmed. it isn’t really until a mission where they fight CICADA that they find out who she is (they single her out and go after her until she’s near-death and her mask is broken to fuck). she eventually explains everything in the medbay and its like “great, here’s a child with big PTSD and anxiety who lied about her age to join the avengers so she can live somewhere better than a basement, now what” so they argue about it and wren quietly sneaks/runs away. but big worm, here comes a terrifying winter soldier who stalked her to her little hideout. so shes like “i know when im not wanted and ill just go back to being a vigilante’ and hes like ‘hey ur good, kid they arent gonna kick u out.” so they have a Talk of Mutual Bonding and he gets her to come back so they can talk it out. stuff gets argued about and wren’s like “why not just...don’t say anything to fury. im doing this outta my own free will so none of u will get in trouble. plus im also not a kid bcs technically im 4 years old.” ‘that is not helping, Kujisela’ ‘call me wren its my name’. long story short, they agree to let her stay as long as Dark Mage still fights. (im a big slut for family dynamics so Hey + i feel like the supersoldiers start calling her plum bcs of her Purple-ness and it catches on)
so ye thanks for reading my TED Talk; i love Wren Ataxia Kujisela with all of my heart (pls just...talk to me abt her)
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Replies!
yet again i waited a while oops (also look at this wonderfully creative title would you) but here they are finally!! tumblr kept eating half of them and here i thought they finally had that fixed -.-
anyway thanks for your support my dudes!! it’s appreciated ♥♥
thatsimslove replied to your photoset
This is a gorgeous picture 😍
thank you!! this place is so perfect for a wedding ;_;
peachbobs replied to your photo “wow thanks”
scroll the top thingy all the way over and make sure safe mode is off !!
i did that! tumblr just does that sometimes when nobody’s tagged you in anything for too long XD
volcanopasta replied to your photoset
Return of the flower beard!
YESSSSSSSSSSS i could not let this opportunity go to waste!
monets-pixels replied to your photoset “Gen 6 is finally complete with Bay and Breeze!”
😍
worth the pregnancy and baby drama, huh? i love all these kids so much wait till you see them as children!
alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Gen 6 is finally complete with Bay and Breeze!”
Ahh cuties!!
Breeze might be favourite now haha
bay’s probably MY new fave xD but breeze is good! she has quite a lot of connie tho i think (re: that one comment that comes later bc replies don’t know chronological order abt wave looking like connie)
amixofpixels replied to your photoset “Gen 6 is finally complete with Bay and Breeze!”
Breeze may challenge Wave. *-*
Only kidding, Wave is life.
WAVE WILL FOREVER RULE OUR HEARTS!!!! crazy hat lady ♥
alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset
I see a lot of Connie in her here lol
this is literally the only pic i could find of puffy cheeked connie (good old times) and wave definitely has char’s eyes and nose, but she just generally looks like a miracle i guess XD
hellerie replied to your photoset “So…this is us.“ “It seems. Fuck. This is…“ “Good? Weird?” “That, and...”
k i did read it all and u did kill me thanks for that
nice way to spend a saturday night init
in a grave
our rented one? If u wanna hop it
is it bad that i feel accomplished? xD i made you FEEEEEEEEL but sure thing i too am always dead you know that let’s do some grave cuddling
monets-pixels replied to your photoset
👀
bet you expected more smut and what you got was stammering overwhelmed boys oops
volcanopasta replied to your photoset “It’s @twinsimskeletons‘ birthday today so I had to take a few pics of...”
this is so cute!!
ahsjgajshfgajsfhagsfjas thank you ;_; i hate eaxis so much for releasing c&d this late these 2 deserved a doggo all along!
socialbunnies replied to your post “i promise i haven’t forgotten abt you guys!! i’ve just been lurking...”
tbh I love the gameplay stuff soOoOoOooOoooO <3
aaaaaaaaaaaa rly ;_; i’ll have to frame that and put it somewhere to look at whenever i want to throw all my caps in the trash again xD thank you so much! i hope story bits are ok too ;)
alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “C: Fair enough! How about you and mum? Are you guys good, too? S:...”
The flower beard will return
connielotte is getting married and everyone’s just thirsty for the flower beard i cannot believe
amixofpixels replied to your photoset “HUGS FOR EVERYONE”
I'll have to give a virtual one for now, but one day! ;)
soonish, maybe ;) ;)
monets-pixels replied to your photoset “T: Hey guys! Talkin shit about me?”
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
whatttt let the boy live
monets-pixels replied to your photoset “G: Oh wow! After Char had the triplets, I admit I didn’t think I’d...”
I LOVE THIS
SISTERSSSSSSS
yESSSSSSSSS sometimes i forget i cry and they used to be so close ;_; glade needs to please come over more again! i remember the last time was when she was pregnant with coriander...oh boy
monets-pixels replied to your photoset “This boy aged up beautifully!”
and my boy there he is
monets-pixels replied to your photoset “G: Well hello there my dearest nephew! Aren’t you a good child! T:...”
THERE SHE IS THAT'S MY GIRL
in which ebonyi adopts all annie’s sims (aka sims she received from others and sims she bred from two sims she received from others oops)
monets-pixels replied to your photoset “In case you were wondering where Tide is, he’s still alive and...”
Tide whom?
we don’t know a tide in this house we worship the hat lady
monets-pixels replied to your photoset “S: What do you mean, there’s no more soup???”
give! her! more! soup!
More Soup For Shore 2k18 is gonna be my new motto ok but seriously this is now a thing shore is a soup lover
pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “™¥”
its a good thing that char has taken the bottles out bc connie sure looks like shes thirsty
who says she wants the bottles tho
alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “If it looks like Char’s always mixing, that’s…because she is. I’m...”
I love (1) woman
s a m e
twinsimskeletons replied to your post “4 glow flame and connie and 5 emusci james and kane >:)”
this made me laugh. thank you for making me laugh
no problem ;)
inkwisteria replied to your photoset “Look who Char’s working with ♥”
My girl! <3
berrysweetboutique replied to your photoset “Look who Char’s working with ♥”
♡
i know right!!! it’s so nice to see she’s still around tho her cap glitches terribly i need to see what i can do abt that i rly need them to have a work bromance
simxnoire replied to your photoset “This boy aged up beautifully!”
MY B A B Y
yesssssssssss he is grown!! there should be quite a few more pics of him in the queue too ;) and once gen 7 starts, well...you’ll need to see abt that he might stick around
hellerie replied to your photoset “This boy aged up beautifully!”
ok but im the painting of the alien thx
a bEAUTIFUL ALIEN i think they took this one to the new house i’ll be sure to hang you in a nice spot XD
hellerie replied to your photoset
me whenever reylo slips through the cracks even tho i have the words rey and reylo blacklisted everywhere
me whenever ppl doNT TAG THEIR FUCKING T R I G G E R S
amixofpixels replied to your photoset “™¥”
I second that heart like nobody's business. @tainoodles, you did so darn good.
i hope she read that xD mum!glade especially is something else
twinsimskeletons replied to your post “.”
v r00d v bad like oh my gosh the worst rudest person. (jk obv luv)
tumblr ate all the other comments to this post so i’m just gonna add them manually:
@penelope-and-wonders said: Never have been a bad person to me 😊 So no problems here 😊
@amixofpixels said: Annie, you have never been rude or unwelcoming to me, and I don't think that will ever change. I know what it is like to overthink things and it sucks, but know that even though, I'm on hiatus, my messages are always open to you. And it's also I can give you all the love you deserve. <3
@nernershuman said: You are the farthest thing from rude and unwelcoming. You're a sweetheart.
@alfalfalegacy said: Never been rude to me. You've always been very sweet and welcoming
thank you so much for taking your time to reply guys ♥ as chelsea said yes i very much love to overthink and it’s just like...better safe than sorry, you know? and now i don’t need to worry abt this for...another month or so xD i’m glad i’ve been doing alright! you guys are all amazing too tho!! giving me all the support i do not deserve i cry
twinsimskeletons replied to your photoset “S: What do you mean, there’s no more soup???”
food of the gods
:o
twinsimskeletons replied to your photoset “C: Oh, there you are, Jess! That’s…wow! That’s a pretty neat paintig!...”
It's Isaac Pigton discovering gravity obviously
i’m nominating this one for comment of the year thank you very much
twinsimskeletons replied to your photoset “when we returned home and she pulled me close for one last goodbye,...”
i mean did you write that? Because if so you should like... do more of that. That was very beautiful!
akjsfhaskfjhakjHADKJHASFKJAHSFSD tbh i’m still not over this AT ALL i’m crying YOU LOVE THIS AND I CAN’T i’ll try to do more!! let’s see if i’m inspired...i mean there IS the wedding night poem still tho that’s completely different AGAIN
pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Just reading about the soloist and it says that here. Must be good,...”
I CRY PLS GIVE MY BOY TABASCO A NOBEL PRIZE HE DESERVES IT
he truly does for being a bomb friend to ficus wHERE IS GEN 8
pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Tabasco? I’m heading out, are you done for the day? Do you need me to...”
ficus is doing a mighty poker face but i feel like his heart casually did a triple somersault in his chest
basically, a summary of poker face ficus with the extreme feelies
pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Tabasco? I’m heading out, are you done for the day? Do you need me to...”
petition for more ficus with a tie!!!! also the expression ficus nooo its friday fuckt me up bc im like hell yea its friday its FIG FRIDAY
sdjkhfskdjhfskdjfhskfahkfsjasfasd i cRY fig fridays gonna b v boring this week i will fail u with old pics but also sure thing!! ill see what we can do abt tie ficus
pixeldemographics replied to your post “(its a mixed bag of charas i kno but shhhh) pavot, calla, & yarrow +...”
yes pls seduce yarrow
would if i could
pixeldemographics replied to your post “(its a mixed bag of charas i kno but shhhh) pavot, calla, & yarrow +...”
also was the theft of his heart a slow or quick heist i feel like we need to Discuss this
slow!! pavot rly isnt the person to do anything fast so it seems only fair. i mean there was definitely some initial attraction (and the whole wTF WHY IS THIS GODLY PERSON TALKING TO ME) but, in good annie fashion throwing my own traits on my chars as always, he discovered new smol details he found intriguing and/or adorable every time and at som point that made his heart do a lil jump but i dont think he knew how bad things were until That One Scene u kno the one bc i feel like thats too much of a spoiler to put into a reply post xD
pixeldemographics replied to your post “(its a mixed bag of charas i kno but shhhh) pavot, calla, & yarrow +...”
i die so much at pavot one day hes gonna realize all his dang shirts are missing and when he does theyll already b cut in half smh
basically hell notice when he sees a certain someone wearing them that good stupid boy i love him
(also this killed me too i cry i m a g i n e)
pixeldemographics replied to your post “(its a mixed bag of charas i kno but shhhh) pavot, calla, & yarrow +...”
tbh i too would b scared of stealing from calla
i bet even zazazazazazazazazazaz is
pixeldemographics replied to your post “tide, havelock, & coriander + 5!!”
i cry pls dont kill him for real
dw were good that would have no use in the story and you know i aint abt that
#thatsimslove#peachbobs#volcanopasta#monets-pixels#alfalfalegacy#amixofpixels#hellerie#socialbunnies#pixeldemographics#twinsimskeletons#inkwisteria#simxnoire#berrysweetboutique#replies#non-sims#saviorhide
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gosh, thank you! that is so sweet??? I hope you (and any other of my followers who celebrate!) have/had a very happy Eid!💖 💕
on another note, I’ve finally gotten around to cleaning out my askbox! under the cut is almost every ask I’ve gotten that i haven’t answered in the past.... I’m not sure. it’s been a WHILE though.
as a warning, there’s all sorts of stuff, and it’s all untagged! also also, if you sent one of these asks and want me to remove it, just let me know!
yes!! @fuckaspunk IS super sweet and talented and i AM very lucky to have them! and I’ve heard from reliable sources that the feeling is mutual~~💕
i’m glad my comics make you feel less alone; that’s a rough situation you’re in. i really hope you find yourself in a better environment soon!
thank you!!!💕
thank you for understanding! and yes, aidan is a huge help to me??? even when they’re not answering asks, they’re always supporting me in some way, whether that’s making sure I’ve eaten enough, or talking me through my anxiety, or all the other ways they’re there for me every single day💕💕
ok, my tips are!!:
draw as much as possible! even if it’s just lines and shapes with no meaning, you’re still developing your hand/eye skills
BUT: dont draw if you’re not feeling it! if you’re feeling fried, it’s better to take a break. go on a walk to somewhere scenic, read your favorite book, listen to some new music, hang out with friends, or just take a nap! rest up and find some inspiration! you can come back to your sketchbook when you feel energized again
draw stuff that you like! you’ll improve way faster if you’re passionate about what you’re doing
look at art you like with a critical eye. try to examine the different components and figure out what you think works or doesn’t work. try incorporation those components into your own work
read a lot of tutorials and other resources, but take what they say with a grain of salt
ultimately, remember that the only real rule to drawing is that doing it should make you happy
good luck!! i do my best not to pick, but it’s a real struggle; i have lots of scars from it too. ;v; im cheering for you!!!
ALWAYS!!!! if you do, please show me!! my notifications get real busy, but anyone is welcome to IM me any time!
thank you! i actually get very worried about my style; i tend to admire artists with complex linework and delicate shading, so i often feel my style is far to simple! so thank you!!
that is really high praise????? gosh??!?!?!? best of luck with the next three years; i hope you grow to be someone you like even better than me!
thank you!!
peanut time is the best!! i haven’t gotten to do a proper one in a while though ;-; i’ve mostly been feeding the crows on my way back home from night shifts, when i give them the reject eggs from the continental breakfast.
wow, neat!! chickens are so wonderful; i cont wait until i can have some of my own :>
dont be nervous! i know i can be hard to get ahold of over the internet (bc i get overwhelmed easily) and hard to talk with irl (bc i get so nervous and interacting w ppl doesn’t come naturally to me AT ALL) but honestly i?? love making new friends??!
thank you!!? im thankful every day that someone as radient as aidan is in my life for the long haul
thank you!!!!!!!💕
i completely feel that? its ok to hit rough patches! just do your best!!
i dont remember what i felt bad about but THANK YOU💕💕
honestly its done me worlds of good to share my art?? hearing people talk about how they go through all the same shit i do makes me feel so much less alone, especially on the toughest days! so i guess thank you, and thank you?
youre welcome!!!! :>
huh!! i dont know much about shoegaze (other than thinking abt that post abt the guy who pronounced it like fugazi I THINK ABT THAT EVERY TIME) but thats real neat!! im glad youve found something that works for you!!
hey, neat middle name! and youre very welcome; i hope things have been looking up for you since you sent this?💕
i dont remember when this was from but im currently doing really well with my meds!! i switched to a combination of lexapro in the morning and benadryl in the evening, and its been working super well!✨
thank you??!! ;o; i would love to see all your favorite birds!!
hey, right back atcha!!!
:0
ty!!!
hey. thank YOU
you’re absolutely not bothering me! thank you so much!!
!!!!!!!!!!
hey, nice! im glad you like both me and my music!
gosh thanks?!?!
she is the most beautiful and handsome!!!!!!!!!!!! i love her! thank you from both of us!!!!
aw, gosh! im sure i like you too!!
this was from.... A WHILE AGO.... but youre welcome?? i just wish i could have done more
hey, thank you so much!!!!!
thank YOU and a very very belated merry christmas!!!
that does make sense!! reconciling friendships and crushes is tricky business. the best i can say to you is to be as honest and open with each other as you can
i dont personally get those, but ive heard of people experiencing them as a sideeffect when coming off or switching meds
i think these two are part of the same message? but oh man yeah that sucks when ppl are misgendering you AND hitting on you at the same time. on a different note, ive never heard of using a corset to stim before! neat!
i mean, 1. depression doesn’t care if you have a “””good””” reason and 2. ive literally never met anyone w depression (including myself) who thinks that they do have a “””good””” reason for having it. thats the insidious part of depression, is that it makes you think that theres nothing wrong and that its all just you not measuring up in some way
so i guess that would make you.... someone with depression?
real BAD
💕 💖 💞 💓 💗
not yet haha THANK YOU
hey, im glad you like it!! since this blog has gotten so big, its kinda my happy place to be? (for anyone wondering, my reblog blog/personal is @spinels!
that IS a fun fact!! thank you!
it’s absolutely ok! i get a little bitter when people take my work WAY out of context (for example, straight people removing the caption that says “im just really gay” before tagging their bf/gf) but i am 100% ok and happy with people relating to my work in a different way than i intended (ex: a comic i made about being ashamed of my derma getting reblogged by someone struggling to be ok w their visible burn scars)
hoo gosh, thank you!!
glad to have you here!! im glad people can relate to some of the weirdly specific shit i write about tbh???
i’m sorry its taken so long for me to get back to you; that a terrible situation
if you have a teacher you trust, i would absolutely bring it up to them. that is 100% not an ok thing for those kids to be doing. at all.
im glad you at least have your friends that support you!
:0 WAIT is this someone i know through ucsc?? :0 :0 :0
HA
aaaa thank you! that is high praise ;v;
i have no words; this is such a touching message. thank you so much ;v;
this is belated but!! the main creative community i can recommend is kzsc, the radio station! i had a real cool time there, and its a great way to make friends and connect with ppl of all sorts! :0
yeah, its totally normal! ive had roommates ive been super tight with, and roommates who i barely ever hung around with. its natural! i doubt you’ll finish college w/o finding a roomie that you get ~The Roomie Experience~ with though, even if its like a housemate or s/t!! ;0
i’ve never been told that, actually! neat!! (and wow?? i cant believe i inspire ppl.... wow......... what a concept tbh??)
oh yikes... i do hope youre feeling better :( im glad my comics can help a little bit at least!
💕 💖 💞 💓 💗!!!
HUGS
i dont remember what this was in reference to, but good to know?
also good to know!?
i think the crows and jays do! i dunno about the squirrels and other birds. and thank you!!
the youth gang..... i love it..... how good???!
i wrote about getting yuri right here! he’s a southern alligator lizard and i love him to bits.
heres a pic of the Long Boy doin his thing:
hey neat! i’m glad youve chosen a lame you can be proud of!!💖
ive never heard of that!! wow
what play is this?? :0 :0 :0 im so curious now!!
oh SHUCKS...,,,,,,,,,, ;v;
hahahaha omg thank u
i dont actually have any more of them interacting, unfortunately! the owl isnt one specific person, like a lot of my characters are meant to represent. the owl more represents as a whole all the people i run into in my life that i am very very gay for.
thank you!!!
youre very welcome! im glad you feel better!!!!
aaa gosh thank you!!!
hhhhfgh ive gotten less of it recently BUT YEAH that was bad times™️
thanks for the info!!! :0
no problem! a lot of the credit honestly goes to @fuckaspunk, who is always keeping me updated on that sort of stuff.
i didn’t know that! a lot of the symbolism seems to come from multiple sources sometimes, from what ive seen?
aaaa gosh omg thank you ;v;
aw thank you???!!
nice!!! oct 24 bdays go!!!
thank you!! it really does mean a lot actually!!!!!!!
of course?? antisemitism cant be ignored in this fight
aw, thats so cute! id love to hear what headcanons you have tbh???
hey thanks?! this is really cool to hear, tbh. i try to be positive most of the time, but im not going to like,,, kid myself when im not feeling it and im glad that other people can appreciate that too, ya know?
wow!!
(this one!) thank you i love that one too???!
hey, im glad you found your way here!! thank you so much!!!
aaaa ty!
hmmm i have two leopard geckos, and they made very good beginning lizards for me and aidan! but i would maybe ask someone a bit more experienced than me, like @kaijutegu or @wheremyscalesslither!!
thank you!!
one day at a time! (but seriously, thank you!!)
yummy yummy sauce...... ty!!!
awww, gosh! thank you!?
AAAA TY BOTH I GET SO SELF-CONSCIOUS ABT MY VOICE,,,,, ;o;
:0 i havent watched that, but it sounds rly cool!!
i like that fun fact a lot! ty!!
pae stands for paerlin, which is what @fuckaspunk��s internet handle used to be! i used it to refer to them on my blog in secret back when they still didnt know i had a crush on them.... ;//v//;
aaaaa thank you!!! ;o;
nice nice nice ty!!
>:0 get back down here!! (jk that’s rly neat! highfive!!)
those are all good words that i like!! thank you!!!!
i dont know anything about him, but i looked him up and i guess i can see it?!
@fishcrow is really cool! ive never really interacted with them, but im p sure were mutuals...? anyway yeah their comics are rly cute and cool!
that is me! thank you; i hope things go well for you as well!
hello to you too!
aaaa ty!!! tbh the number of nice anons i get way way way outnumbers the mean ones <3
thank you! thank YOU for existing!
:0 chocolate croissant, here i come!!!
thank you!!!!!!💕
its literally my pleasure!!!
aaa ty!!! 💕💕
hehe im glad!
sldf;j;sfjdklfdslfjs thank you so much?????? what a compliment omg gosh
yeah!! i have a hard time on settling what class id be, but i feel like id be a heart player!
ohh um! im not sure which pens youre referring to, but if you mean the ones I use for my comics, i color them with Winsor & Newton ProMarkers, and I do the lines with a purple fine-point Sakura Gelly Roll Classic pen! i also use micron pens of all different sizes and colors in some of my non-diary comic art!
aww thank you so much!!
:0 :) :0 !!!!!!
ty!!! ive grown to love him very much as well!!
thank you! i hope you are doing well also!!
i love them very much?!! id put a picture but i dont have one with all four of them so instead imagine me lying on the floor crying abt how much i love them bc thats me basically every day
you dont mean......
?!?!?!?!?!?!
awwww ty!!!
HEY WOW
aaa gosh thank you!💕
DOUBLE FOLLOW
gay dragons combine the best of both very good things: gay and dragons. im glad you appreciate them w me tysm ;v;
aaa what a lovely message! ty💕
3rd-shift-working, depression-having, corvid-loving solidarity fistbumnp!!!!
huh! ive never heard of that; ill check it out maybe!!
ah im really glad? tysm!!💕
my understanding is that it helps people who have text-to-speech readers? but im honestly not as well informed on that as i should be!
hell yeah!!!!
gosh!!!!!
hnmngnhng youve probably already made a decision but i just gotta say.........shadow rulez
delicious!!
i havent!! i really want to though!
oh man ALL THE TIME. i usually try to either reality check with someone i trust, or to do an activity thats easy and i know i can do, or both!
i love andre and karl!!! its actually a huge influence on me and my art tbh???
i had a good (and safe) trip! ty!!!
hey, thank you!!!
oh jeez thats bad :( i think this was in response to when i needed to wait between med refills?
i cant give a precise reason, tbh! when it comes to whats lucky, i just sort of.... go with my gut, ya know?
thank you!! 👍
that sure sounds like insomnia! its almost hard for me to say tbh, bc ive had trouble sleeping for as long as i can remember, so NOT having trouble sleeping is bizarre and unrealistic to me haha... but i think the bottom line is, if its interrupting your daily routine and making it hard for you to have enough energy, then its something you should look into remedies for!
:0 :0 :0
ohhh how nice! ill give it a try! :>
omg,,,, nope, just me!
thank you!!!!!!
honestly? thats such a good way to look at it i love the idea of my blog as a big zine
always!!!!! go for it!!!
hey, thank you so much!!!!!
omg, thats so great! thank you!
im so glad; thank you!!!
thank you so much!💖 (and mexico, neat! i love hearing where people are following from??)
aaaaaaaaaaaa ;//v//; thank you??? i get so happy whenever ppl tell me they like my singing aaaaaaa
aw, hey, no worries! money is all well and good, but in some ways, messages like this mean just as much!
its cool that comic gave you plural feels! im def not a system though :>
its tricky, isnt it? i still feel like im no good at it lmao
LISTEN,,, there is a 99.9999% chance i wont notice, and a 100% chance i wont judge. reblog away!
THANK YOU ARENT THEY THE BEST I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
thank you!! i hope you have a good day as well!
aaa ty!!💖
aa ty! (what a cool name!!! im kind jealous ngl!)
awww thank you💖
i do my best! i just worry when im not active, bc i tend to connect my self-worth to my output (;^; )
aaaaa ty!! 💖
!!!!!!!!!!!! omg wow i love being called a pretty boy???? ty???????
hey, neat! crow high-five!
aw, thank you!!! 💖
im doing my best! thank you so much, messages like this really help when im in a place like that tbh ;v;
gosh this is so sweet? thank you so muhc !!?
thank you all!! im sorry that saying thank you over and over sounds so repetitive, but i truely do mean it for every one of you!!!
i am..... one of those things!
well thank you!!
ohoho~✨
thank you! and honestly im sure it does??
hey, cool! good for you!!!!!!! and ty!!
aw gosh thank you!💖
hey, wow! thats super cool; thank you so much!
(i dont follow the first person i followed on tumblr anymore.... they became a hockey blog rip haha)
aaaah, thank you so much!!
almost???
i do!! drunken lullabies is an absolute banger!!!!!!!!!!
i am!!!! thank you!!
aw, ty!!! 💖
hee hee, thank you!
my biggest tip honestly?? have someone who can be by your side to help you with... basically everything... during your recovery. bc trust me, i was n o t a v a i l a b l e. i spent a lot of my recovery playing 2048 at the same time as watching tv, bc doing both at once distracted me from how much the bandages itched.
thank you!! (i think this was in reference to getting top surgery!)
how shitty??????? yikes. i hope your supervisor has your back??? bc wow????
hey!!! thank you!!! i draw all my comics traditionally on paper! im not sure what you mean by the writing though? if you mean the word bubbles, i do those by hand on paper too!
I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT FEELING,,,, im so happy ppl talk to me, but i get really nervous about saying the wrong thing.
when i’m down, i usually crave validation. i like being reminded about things ive done right! i also like gentle reality checks, like, ‘hey: this is the situation, this is what we can do about it. ok? ok’
i unfortunately dont have any!! i had a couple at one point, but they’ve since been lost to the depths of my old laptop. and hey, thank you so much!!
now thats a nifty trick!! im terrible at telling all my white tablets from each other lmao
!!!!!!! ITS ME!!!!!!!!
maybe you just need some space? i know i sometimes temporarily block people i know, if i need some private space or if i dont trust myself to keep cool and solve problems constructively. do what you need to do to feel at ease, and go from there, ya know?
thank you!!!
its,,,, up somewhere above in this monster post lmao i,m so sorry,,,,
thank you so much!!!
WOW NO WORRIES??,,,,,,,,, INCREDIBLE 10/10???????
all four of these came right after i gave myself a hair cut and THANK YOU SO MUCH??? i live for validation and it feels so good to have my actions affirmed ;o;
#WOW THAT TOOK LIKE THREE HOURS HAHA#hopefully next time it wont be as long!!#daveanswersstuff#long post
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Did you not realized you followed me until now and are wondering who the fuck this ugly bitch with a super cringey url is on your dash 24/7 bc i never queue anything? Well nows your chance to get to know me. Or scroll past this post. Your call.
Who Tagged Me in this hellgame of oversharing into a vast and mainly unheard empty void known as my blog? @steggy4ever. You can thank her for this. Name: Adrienne. Nickname: My friends call me Dri bc theyre too lazy to say more than one syllable. My parents just scream ADRIENNE like the last scene in Rocky whenever they want me to come downstairs. Which is often. And when I do come down its so I can bring them a second TV remote or call their parents for them. Gender: I use she/ her pronouns. Starsign: Cancer. The sign that looks like its 69ing. When im really lucky Cancers get to be crabs. Riveting. Height: 5'8". A respectable height. Sexual Orientation: Baby bi bi bi. Youre welcome for getting that song stuck in your head. You can never escape justin timberlake. Favourite Character: i mean like everyone else here reblogging 38 variations of the same scene in gif form i go through phases. Right now I like Mickey Milkovich from Shameless the best. He's got the most compelling character arc in all of TV for sure. I love him and I meed him back on the show. Hogwarts House: Slytherin. This still doesnt make sense to me. The Slytherin asshole persona doesnt line up with my asshole persona. Im more of a lazy Griffindor mixed with an aloof Ravenclaw. Favourite Colour: I really dont know Favourite Animal: Any dog thats ever been born. Average Hours of Sleep: Not enough. Cat or Dog person: 🐶 Number of Blankets I sleep with: 2 blankets that are way to hot but like I need them to protect me from ghosts and potential home intruders. Favourite Singer/Band: Anyone who knows me knows I love jazz and classical music like an aristocratic snob with a monocle. My faves are Mingus, Tchaikovsky and Beethoven. Dream Trip: A one way trip to space to colonize a new planet and teach a whole generation of space kids about the bad tv shows i waste my life watching. Dream Job: Because i have no concept of finances and I want to live the rest of my life like a poor yet pretentious asshole, I'm going to school to study jazz bass. When was your blog created: Not long ago to justify how far I've fallen. Current number of followers: 355. Mainly porn blogs robots but nonetheless thanks everyone for reblogging all of my highly selective content that is the pinnacle of culture. What made you decide to join tumblr: Tbh i have no friends and appreciate using outdated memes to avoid facing my depression. Also the three friends i do have were all like "you should come suffer on this hellhole of a website with us" and it sounded like a compelling offer so i did. If you made it to the end of this post thats shocking. You must be really bored. How about you answer all these questions now yourself and i'll pretend to read and remember your responses. @rustydaggers @acetonystark @idkaylaaa @bucketfairies
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Welcome, Hope! You’ve been accepted as your first choice of Sophia Bush as Delaney Newberry.
Please send in your account within the next 24 hours. Also, please follow these tags: ikag starter, Ikag social, ikaghh, ikag important, ikag task, ikagfollow, ikagunfollow and ikag event
[ OOC INFORMATION ]
NAME / PRONOUNS | AGE | TIMEZONE
hope, she/her, 22, est
YOUR ACTIVITY:
igoddamnlivehere.gif but also not bc retail job but im here a lot
ROLEPLAYING EXPERIENCE
long long time ago in a galaxy far away ( like 9 years )
IC INFORMATION
WHO ARE YOU BRINGING TO THE SHOW?
FACECLAIM: sophia bush
NAME: Delaney Newberry
AGE: 33
BIRTHDAY: June 7, 1985 ( aka the release date of one of my all time favorite films )
OCCUPATION: Youtuber
HOMETOWN: Beverly Hills, CA
PETS: a kitten named whiskers
BIOGRAPHY:
Delaney’s parents were always working when she was little. Being an only child that meant she spent a lot of time at her aunts house instead. Her aunt was a stay at home mother who raised her five children while her husband worked. Both of Delaney’s parents worked full time and were devoted and passionate to both their jobs and their daughter. Delaney was always closest to her cousin Viktor, born just one day before she was. They always bonded, running around and doing everything together. It was their dream to do something big some day, like open up their own store or anything big.
But, dreams change, and at nineteen, Delaney met her husband Derek and she was madly in love. Except, two months into her relationship they found out she was pregnant. And two months after that, the pair were married. Derek’s parents were strict about sex before marriage and didn’t want their son to have any children out of wedlock, whereas Delaney’s parents did not care and just wanted their daughter to be happy. Delaney said yes to the marriage because she was young and believed she was with the person who she wanted to be with forever.
Derek and Delaney had problems from the start. They were young and neither really knew what they wanted from life. They were in college and working toward their own goals while attempting to make their marriage work and raise their child. The only reason the pair stayed together after the three year mark was when Delaney got pregnant with her second child. Delaney was already feeling lost and alone, and Derek was working toward his goals and it didn’t feel like he really wanted to be with her anymore. So, after Audrey was born and the first few months were down right around Francesca’s forth birthday the pair took a breather. They got back together after two months apart.
Delaney didn’t know what was wrong in her marriage until long after her divorce and she realized she loved Derek. But, not romantically. At first she’d figured it was romantic feelings because that’s what she knew and what she’d seen and read about–girls and guys being in love and getting married and having children. She didn’t know she could be interested in girls in a romantic way. And those thoughts had come up but she always pushed them away. Until she was divorced and drinking with her cousins and celebrating and she finally felt free and like she could be herself. And she knew that despite Derek’s cheating and his own issues, a real problem had been her too. She was never really invested in him or their relationship, she had just wanted things to work out for them because he was all she knew.
Post having Audrey, Delaney decided that the best way to be there for her children was to be a stay at home mother. But, she needed to have some sort of income to support herself in doing so. So she began a small etsy page where she sold hand made jewelry and paintings.
Halfway through her third pregnancy it was enough for Delaney and she finally decided to divorce her husband. Neither of their hearts were in it anymore. And Derek left without saying another word to her. But he’s still there for the kids, for the most part. Mostly financially. it was then that Delaney really realized she needed to do something. She was in a funk and needed her own way to break out. So she and her cousin Viktor decided to send out an audition tape to Amazing Race. She was seven months pregnant at the time and didn’t expect to hear anything back.
But four months after Sebastien was born, Delaney and Viktor were off on a race for a million dollars around the globe. And they actually won the prize and a couple of other getaways along the way. It was a once in a lifetime experience. And Delaney was not leaving without the prize money. One of her first interviews said the only way she was leaving was if her children had an emergency ( or anyone else in the family ) or if she won.
When she got home, Delaney started a youtube channel. She’d liked the aspect of going around with cameras on the race and filming the little things. So thats’ what she decided to do. At first her videos were designs, then DIY and baking and cooking, and somehow she wound up with a second vlog channel too. She has a couple million subscribers and counting on her main channel and almost 800,000 on her vlog channel. She also has her own website where she posts recipes from her channel. Some day she hopes to make a whole book of them and publish it.
RELATIONSHIPS:
ANYTHING ELSE:
Three children: Francesca Violet Arden, age 13 ( born: January 17, 2005 ), Audrey Clarissa Arden, age 10 ( born: August 19, 2008 ), Sebastien Dean Arden, age 7 ( born: November 30, 2011 )
— they have her ex-husband’s last name while she reverted to her maiden name post divorce.
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