#(swear I went 3 days a week after school; but if not switch that to every other week or whatever)

[medicinemane]

So, back when I did tae kwon do, obviously broke boards during belt tests, and there's this one that my grandpa wrote "broke it on such and such date for such and such belt, see other board"

Except the other board says the exact same thing word for word including the see other board

Never quite figured out the thought process behind that specific pair of board pieces

[zorosjuicymelonsx]

Finding You

A/N: Guys I'm here and I'm so sorry I'm a week late with this. I got a new job after losing mine a few months ago so things have been hectic lately with my schedule. All I can say is sometimes adulting SUCKS but I love money so 😭🤑

A lovely reader on AO3 had helped me realise there was an anomaly with the timeline of how Y/N and Zoro meet and all so I went through it and I thought I would go through this:

Y/N's flashback of Zoro sleeping in the forest in Chapter 3 was when they were 15 so its actually 7 years ago and not 4 years ago. I've edited this and amended the story you tell Zoro slightly in Chapter 5 to correct this so my apologies for not finding this sooner. I wanted to show that she had a crush on him before they officially met after he rescued her in the alley. They then turn 16, graduate school and then Zoro asks her out. They date till 18, get engaged and marry at 19. Zoro disappears a few days after this and you spend the 2, almost 2 and a half years looking for him so he's 21 and your 21.

Its sometime after Wano and Egghead doesn't exist in this "dimension" when you find him in Chapter 1 so they're just cruising right now. I wanted to match the actual One Piece ages he was before and after timeskip.

I hope this has helped clarify if anyone else was confused of the timeline but please do enjoy this chapter. Because of my new job, I'll do my very post to work and post in a timely manner. Thank you for everyones patience and support with me.

Chapter Eight Previous Next “Zoro? You okay?”

“i-I have to go, m’sorry.” 

That was the last thing he said to you a week ago in the Crows Nest. You had gone through every single possible reason for why he suddenly would switch up the way he did which left you nowhere near to a conclusive answer. You were sure you’d done absolutely nothing but at the same time doubted yourself and wondered if you had done something unconsciously. 

Since then, he'd practically been living in the Crows Nest. He never ate in the galley anymore, never came on the deck to hang around with anyone and you weren’t even sure if he was sticking with his once a week baths. Every time you tried to seek him out, you noticed the hint of stress in his face and would walk away in the opposite direction. Thankfully you weren’t the only one who noticed the swordsman's strange behaviour. 

“Marimo is really starting to piss me off, can you believe he’s making me bring his meals to him like I’m some waiter?!” Sanji spat with annoyance as he piled nourishment onto Zoro’s breakfast plate. You knew Zoro wouldn’t have asked Sanji for food, you just understood Sanjis code of ethics when it came to making sure that every member of the crew was properly fed and nourished. You appreciated him for it. 

You were one of the few who remained in the galley after breakfast, sitting with Jinbe and Usopp who were finishing off their own meals. You’d leaned forward to sit your chin on your forearms as you traced the rim of your coffee cup with your finger caught in a net of progressive overthinking of the enigma that was your husband. 

“Has he really not said anything?” Usopp asked Sanji, the cook turning to face them, the plate in his hand piled high in mostly eggs, sausages and toast. 

“Not a word. I swear the algae on his heads really taken over his brain.” Sanji cursed before leaving the galley, chewing on his unlit cigarette. 

“Isn’t this normal for Zoro? I mean he is pretty quiet.” Jinbe asked Usopp. Since Jinbe was the most recent crewmate to join Luffy and the crew before you, it was understandable he would ask. You would have agreed with Jinbe on the fact Zoro was quiet, however, you knew better than to mistake this for just his regular self. 

“When something is bothering him, he shuts down. He avoids everyone, he won’t talk, he’ll just isolate. I just can’t figure out what's bothering him.” You grumbled out before lifting your cup to take a gulp of your coffee. Setting the cup down, you realised you couldn’t hear either of them talking anymore and turned to see them both staring at you with wide eyes. 

“Has he really never done this in front of you guys?” You questioned the gaping pair with a raised brow slightly mocking their owlish stares back. Jinbe shook his head as expected whereas Usopp's gaze drifted off behind you in thought. You assumed he was revisiting his album of memories with the swordsman. 

“Well…there was the time on Thriller Bark when he shut himself away to train but it wasn’t anything like this.” Usopp answered cautiously, his mouth slightly turned down in slight distress.This caught your attention and your heart filled with anxiety. 

“What happened?” You asked, unconsciously frowning. Usopp's gaze refocused back to yours, adjusting himself uncomfortably in his seat as he seemed hesitant to retell the story. Nonetheless, he sighed before clearing his throat to speak. 

“We were on Thriller Bark where we met Brook. Brook was stuck on his old crew's ship and he couldn’t leave because his shadow being taken by the ex-warlord Gecko Moria.”

“Brook has a shadow?” You asked in surprise trying to suppress a laugh. You valued Brook as a crew member despite his panties fetish. Thankfully Nami always stepped in after he asked to put him in his place.

“I don’t even know anymore, ANYWAYS ....we managed to defeat him but another ex-warlord named Kuma came for us.We don’t know what exactly happened because Kuma knocked us out but we know Zoro got really hurt. He was unconscious for a few days after that. I think at the time we underestimated them but knowing him, he blamed himself for not being strong enough.” 

Usopp clarified, his tone laced with guilt. Your heart ached at the idea of Zoro being that severely injured to that extent. You knew he didn’t care as long as he met his goal in the end even if you did reprimand him on his mentality many times over the years you both dated. You had eventually accepted it and you didn’t want to stand in his way.

“Let's just give him space and see what happens.” You spoke assuringly to the two despite your chest hammering with the anxiety of unsurety. 

One Week Later

Two weeks had passed since you last heard Zoro's voice. The patient person you were two weeks ago was buried deep inside and now your patience was wearing thin along with your paranoia running rampant. You couldn’t take the silence anymore and neither could the rest of the crew. 

It was the afternoon and Nami had called everyone in for a crew meeting on deck, including Zoro who had unsuccessfully attempted to blend into the background. Your eyes has locked in on him from the moment you walked in and spotted green. You also saw the obvious attempt he made to avoid looking your way as he chose to focus his gaze on the wall behind Nami. 

‘Just what was so interesting about the wall you fucker?’ You thought to yourself as you leaned back in your chair in observation. 

“Right guys, I called this meeting in because I came across information that there's an island nearby rumoured to have a fuck ton of treasure. We gotta make a game plan.” Nami excitedly spoke, the berries practically beaming out of her eye sockets. Reluctantly, you took your eyes away from Zoro to focus on Nami. 

For about an hour, she went over and planned in detail how to navigate the island, showing you and the others the maps and other sources of information from a book she read detailing the treasure and its history. 

“I also decided that not all of us can go on the island so I’m picking Zoro and Y/N to stay behind on the ship.” Nami added. From the corner of your eye, you noticed Zoro stiffen before clearing his throat to speak up. 

“I’m coming with you guys, have Sanji stay on the ship with Y/N.” Zoro spoke in a low, reserved manner clearly disguising his obvious discomfort towards you. It was the first time you’d heard his voice in two weeks but hearing the words he chose only had you gritting your teeth. You took a deep breath in and decided that at that moment you couldn’t take anymore. 

He had drawn your last straw. 

“Oh Y/N-chan, I’d love to-” You cut off Sanji as you stood up from your seat, the feet of the chair roughly scraping against the floor boards as you paced your steps towards Zoro to now stand strong in front of him. You felt the intense gaze of the others on you but ignored it, the anger you felt overpowered your rationality. 

“Whats your fucking problem?” You spat out as you looked up at him. 

This caught him off surprise. You could see he was trying to shift away from you but you weren’t going to allow him to get out of this. You moved in tandem with him whenever he attempted to get away from you only to have him give up and stay glued to the wall behind him. 

“I ain’t got no problem-”

“Bullshit. You’ve been avoiding me for the past two weeks. In fact, you’ve been avoiding ALL of us.” 

“You’re being dramatic.”

“No I’m fucking not.” You somehow got even closer, your chest practically touching his as you felt his body heat against you. 

“She's really not Zoro, did something happen between you two?” Nami asked cautiously behind you.

“Did I do something?” 

He could see you were frustrated with him and he could see he was only hurting you more than he wanted to. 

‘I’m sorry….’ He thought as he looked at you, the guilt overwhelming him. 

Whilst he didn’t appreciate the questioning from you and the heavy gazes of everyone, he will admit he had isolated himself from you. It wasn’t because you did anything to him personally and it wasn’t because he started rejecting your presence on the ship; by far you'd been patient with him by letting him be. The persistent questioning he got from the others, especially the shitty cook despite being appreciative of him bringing his meals to him only to be met with silence from him only fueled his guilt. Since the discovery of his feelings for you, he felt overwhelmed. Being around you distracted him. He felt the want to be with you but at the same time, his mind shielded him from you as if he was protecting himself from you. He prided himself in being strong minded and he felt frustrated with himself over how he could possibly feel this way when he prided himself in being strong minded. He could only theorise that this mental block with you had to do with the guy who’d wiped his memory. 

‘Was his named Edward? Ethan? Whatever, it didn’t matter.’

He knew he was being a dick by staying away from you but he didn’t know what else to do. The moment he accepted his feelings for you, he’d also accepted what felt like an overwhelming burden in his stomach. He felt panic, a feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time. He left you in the Crows Nest, remembering the feeling of not being able to breathe. This was why Zoro did not do feelings; they were complicated. 

“You didn’t do anyth-”

“Then why have you been avoiding me?” You persistently questioned, the frustration brimming in your eyes. 

“I’m done with this, I’m leaving.” He felt his heart climbing up into his throat with you being so close to him.

“Oh no you don’t, you’re not getting out of this one.” 

You made an impulse decision out of anger. With your free hand, you summoned a hole behind Zoro. You pictured the very island where you spent time training yourself with your devil fruit, knowing it was quiet and you wouldn’t be disturbed. The hole behind him had formed and Zoro had realised too late he was no longer leaning against solid and fell through the smoke of clouds that enveloped him. 

You turned to the others who were gaping at you in shock. Even Luffy stayed glued to his seat with no attempt to jump through the cloud of smoke. 

“I’ll bring him back tomorrow.” You huffed out before going through the hole yourself. 

As you landed in the sand of the island, you looked up to see the hole you summoned. You then looked around to see your surroundings. The island hadn’t changed one bit; the wave of nostalgia hit as you breathed in the smell of the sand and sea, the lingering scent of greenery coming from the forest coming into the mix as well. If you looked around again, you’d be able to find the rock you carved the last date you were here before leaving to continue your search for Zoro. 

You purposefully summoned the hole on the empty side of the island, choosing to leave the small population of habitants to the other side undisturbed. They were peaceful people and had even shared a few meals with you from time to time whenever a few of them found you exhausted from exertion after training. They knew you well and that you didn’t pose a threat, choosing to peacefully coexist with them. 

Once closed, the anger still ever present in your system you looked around to spot Zoro sitting in the sand as he looked around taking his surroundings. 

“Wh-where are-?” 

“You gonna talk or what?” You aggressively asked. 

Zoro was now angry. He didn’t want to fight with you, he just wanted to piece together his feelings and rebuild his courage to be around you. He wasn’t ready to face you and being here with you only made him feel worse.  

He stood up from the sand and stomped over to stand over you, pushing the bile from his thumping heart back down his throat.

“What…the FUCK…were you thinking? Why would you do that? Do you realise without me there, you’ve put the others in danger? Take us back NOW.” 

“First of all, step the fuck back and calm down. Second of all, they’ll be fine. Third of all, were not going anywhere until we sort whatever the fucks gone up your ass and died.” You said as you matched his energy. 

“Fuck this, I’m out.” Zoro refused to admit anything. He couldn’t. He turned away from you and began walking. 

“Roronoa Zoro, come back here now.” You ordered him as you followed behind. 

“No. Piss off.” He called back as he continued stomping. 

“Zoro, stop.” You shouted, your voice almost broke as your anger now turned into hurt. 

“Leave me alone Y/N.” 

“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?” You now cried out. You couldn’t stop the tears and the lump in your throat as you stared at his back. 

Zoro stopped at the sound of your voice breaking. He frowned at the thought of you upset, his heart ached but he couldn’t turn around. 

“I’m not doing anything to you Y/N. I just need space.” He spoke regretfully before he continued walking again and turned left heading into the forest. You stood still as you watched him walk away.

“Fuck.” You whispered to yourself, taking your palm to rub against your forehead in frustration and then using the back of your hand to wipe your tears away. You hated crying, you’d always felt so weak. No matter how much you try to control it, the tears always win. You decided to sit, digging yourself further into the sand before leaning back to let it envelop you. 

You breathed in, allowing yourself to take in the sound of the waves crashing against the damp sand. You didn’t realise how much you missed being back on land. You loved being on the Sunny, you really did but sometimes allowing yourself to be grounded for a bit always helped. 

You let your hands moved with the sand, feeling the softness of it between your fingers. You clenched the sand into your palms finding the action soothing and allowing the anger you’d felt seep into each particle.

What were you going to do with Zoro? 

————————————- ⚔️✨ ————————————

A few hours had passed and you found yourself waking up from a nap you had unconsciously taken. You noticed the sun was beginning to lower, you predicted you had a few hours left before nightfall. You sighed before getting up from the sand, swiping off the residue of sand that was left on your clothes and turned to face the direction Zoro left you from. You were grateful the island was small and you knew it  wouldn’t take you long to track down the lost swordsman. 

As you were about to start walking, you felt a presence lurking near you. You stiffened before smiling and realising there was more than one and posed no danger. 

“How long have you guys been there for?” You called out. You turned to find a small group of what you assumed were hunters gathering food. The group consisted of three men and one woman. 

“Y/N, are you okay?” One of the male hunters asked. 

“I’m fine don’t worry…you didn’t happen to see a green haired guy with three swords roaming around?” You queried. You didn’t know them personally but you assumed the few that did check in on you when you were training spread the word to the others of your existence.

“He’s sitting by the waterfall.” The female hunter softly answered. You nodded as you brought the memorised path to the area up into your mind to plan out your short walk. 

“Thank you, don’t mind us. We’ll be gone tomorrow.” You promised before you began making your way to him. A short walk through the forest and your feet found you at the beginning of a small lake. As you continued, your eyes caught the waterfall and the blue hues of water falling over into the lake. You looked around and soon enough your eyes caught on a head of green hair. You frowned at his slouched demeanor, noticing his eye was lost in the water and in thought. You took a quick breath in before continuing your walk to now stand near the swordsman. You noticed his body stiffened as you felt your presence before slouching back, his eye not breaking out of his lost gaze. 

“Zoro…I.” 

“Don’t speak.” 

Your mouth closed into a straight line, the words ‘I’m sorry’ stuck at the tip of your tongue. You felt like you stood for eternity but just a few short minutes later and you decided to find a seat on the grass near him. Your eyes followed his and soon enough you were also lost in the water with him. Apart from the sounds of the water crashing into the lake and the gentle calls from the birds in the trees, the angst between the both of you laid thick. 

As you watched the water, you were reminded of how much you missed swimming and the ability to just float. You had thankfully never fallen into the ocean since obtaining your devil fruit but the thought of sinking struck fear in you. You missed the feeling of saltwater soaking into your skin, letting your fingertips wrinkle and allowing your mind to wonder and be free. Sure you were able to shower in non-sea water but it just wasn’t the same. 

Time had passed and the sky had turned into a deep hue of orange indicating the end of daylight. The forest had begun to fill out with fireflies, adding to the ambiance and giving light to where you both sat. You knew you’d have to start a fire and look for food soon but you couldn’t find the will to do so yet. 

You had decided to scoot closer to the edge of the lake, allowing yourself to indulge in the only closeness you can have to water. 

“You ain’t plannin to jump in right?” 

Hearing his voice shook you out of thought, you shook your head to answer his question. 

Zoro had every right to be pissed at you but seeing the sadness in your face made him feel guilty for letting himself behave like a teenager for hours. This was his fault after all but admitted he let his pride get the better of him. 

“Why’re you moping?”

“I’m not moping..I’m just remembering how much I enjoyed swimming and just being in the ocean.” You confessed, pouting and allowing yourself to lean on your hand. 

“I thought you didn’t regret-” 

“I don’t regret anything. I’m allowed to feel sad.” You snapped. 

He allowed silence to fill the space between the both of you for a moment before he made an anxiety-consuming decision that would definitely change everything. 

“You wanna go in?” Zoro softly asked. 

You turned to face him, surprise evident in your face. 

“That's impossible, I’ll just feel weak and sink.” You answered. 

“Not if I’m holding you.” Zoro said. 

“I thought you were avoiding me, now you wanna hold me?” You questioned back. 

“Answer my question; you want to go in yes or no?” Zoro bit back with slight annoyance at you being argumentative. 

You bit your lip to stop yourself from going into a tangent, turning to look back at the water before nodding. 

From seeing your physical consent, Zoro stood up and began to strip. You visibly blushed and let your gaze turn away from him refusing to turn it into ogling. He brought himself into your line of vision as he walked forward and stepped into the water, waiting with his back turned to you at the edge to allow you privacy. You were able to see he was just left in his boxers. You stared for a bit before finding your brevity and beginning to strip until you were just in your underwear and bra. You walked a few steps forward until you stood just behind him but you hadn’t stepped in the water yet.

“Am I okay to pick you up?” Zoro cautiously asked, his back still facing you.

“y-Yeah you can.” 

Zoro turned around, pushing back his raging heartbeat and ignoring the growing heat in his skin before scooping you into his arms bridal style and slowly walking back into the lake until he was halfway submerged. You relished in the warmth of his skin and you hadn’t realised just how much you missed his presence. 

“If it gets too much for you, tell me and I’ll take you back.” Zoro’s voice almost broke. He was currently fighting back the blush that had threatened to consume his wholebeing as he avoided looking down at your naked body. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen a naked woman before, heck Nami and Robin walked around the ship in practically nothing and it never once bothered him. Seeing you see this way; shy and almost vulnerable gave a completely different meaning to it. He couldn’t fathom anyone else seeing you like this and the mere idea of any man seeing you this way made his skin itch and his temper rise.  

He hadn’t even allowed himself to be consumed in the lust-filled thoughts he had of you since his recent awakening of feelings he had for you. He felt too much respect for you to subject you to his internal needs. He didn’t even know if you both even consummated the marriage before he disappeared but refused to go down the tangent of thoughts surrounding it. 

He slowly began to lower you into the water, allowing the flow of the water to cover your legs and your arms. You gasped at the sudden coolness of the water, immediately feeling the weakness of the ocean consume you. Rather than fighting the weakness, you allowed it to sit as you relished in the feeling of the cool water and Zoro’s body heat. 

“You okay?” 

“Thank you Zoro.” You quietly spoke, grateful to him. 

His concern alone was enough for you to choke on a sob. You were overwhelmed. 

“Why did you avoid me?” You weakly asked, allowing yourself to cry. 

“M’sorry.” Zoro mumbled back as he bit the inside of his cheek.

“I don’t want a sorry…I want an answer.” 

Zoro said nothing. He didn’t know how to confess his feelings to you. He couldn’t even begin to explain or know where to start with talking about what was wrong with him. Seeing you broken hurt him badly and he knew he couldn’t let this go on anymore. 

‘Show her.’ 

A small voice in his head spoke. He frowned at the intrusion of the voice. 

‘Show her how you feel.’ 

He looked down to see you looking back up at him. The yearning he felt to hold you closer, the want to be with you overtook him. 

He decided to listen to the foreign voice, putting his anxiety to one side as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours in a chaste kiss.

————————————- ⚔️✨ ————————————

A/N: HE DID IT!!! FINALLY HE KISSED YOU AHHHHHHH 🥳 😭💚

Taglist: @starlightanyaaa @eggrollforyou @rosellerinfrost @qalable

[cels-not-so-secret-love-affair]

falling to the music pt. 3 (jily)

a/n: it’s been a slow sort of week, but we’re making a comeback with another instalment of my silly little jily band au. yay!

previous | next

Mr Nice, sensibly, waits for Lily to text him before attempting to call her. She’s calmer when she does so, and about to cook dinner for herself and her roommates in her student flat. It’s something to do with her hands other than holding her phone, or potentially throwing it at a wall if he says anything either too irritating or too attractive. A preventative measure. After explaining the situation to James, she pops him on speakerphone, and props him up on the counter.

‘Hello?’ His voice is slightly tinnier over the line, but it still makes Lily shiver a little. It’s got a richness to it that feels comforting.

‘Good evening, James,’ she calls, slicing her chicken into strips.

‘Lily! Lily Evans, how are you?’ The full name should not have the effect it does. Nor should it send flashing images of the words Lily Potter through her mind. Christ, there’s something wrong with me.

‘I’m okay. Still recovering from the bashing my ego took after being ghosted for almost a full business week, but I’m breathing.’

‘I really am very sorry about that,’ he repeats earnestly.

‘Yeah, well. Just don’t go lobbing your new phone at gaggles of seagulls or whatever, and I’ll let you off.’

‘Duly noted.’ She can hear his smile again. It bleeds into the shapes of the vowels. Diabolical.

‘Enjoy your Saturday?’ she asks, moving to wash her hands.

‘Yes, actually. We had practice in the morning, trying out some new songs. Then I got some work done for school, went on a run, came home. Now I’m talking to you, which is, naturally, the highlight of my day.’

‘You’re a flirt, Mr Potter. What degree do you do?’ Lily’s switched to chopping vegetables now and, against her will entirely, has found herself smiling down at her red peppers.

‘Architecture! It sounds poncey, I know, but I swear on my life it’s interesting.’

‘I’ll believe you. Although I have to say it doesn’t match up very well with the whole lead guitarist thing.’

‘No matter how many cool points those showy riffs might earn me, I am, at heart, a bit of a nerd. Sorry to disappoint you.’

‘I’m not disappointed.’

‘I’ve lucked out then. How about you, what degree do you do?’

‘Hmm. You know what - have a guess. If you’re right I’ll chuck a bit of carrot at my screen as a reward.’ James laughs at that, and Lily feels a sense of accomplishment blooming in her chest. The sound is very easy to listen to.

‘Alright, I love a challenge. Let’s see… something to do with English?’

‘Bloody hell. How’d you figure that one out?’

‘I’m right, then?’

‘Yeah. English Language and Literature.’

‘Score! It was a bit of a guess really. You had a pin on the strap of your bag when you came to talk to me after the show. A proper enamel one, shaped like a stack of books. I remember wondering where you got it from.’ Lily is momentarily baffled at how this man can forget to charge his fucking phone and remember this seemingly innocuous detail about her all in the same day. It’s sweet, though, that he takes an interest. It almost makes her forget the four days spent sans text message.

‘That’s observant of you.’

‘Yeah, I suppose. Where did you actually get it from, the pin?’

‘Oh, it was just a gift from a friend.’

‘The one that came with you to the concert? Or someone else?’

‘No, not Mary, though she is basically unbeatable in the gift giving department. It was from one of my flatmates, Alice.’

‘Mary isn’t a flatmate then?’

‘No, she grew up here, so she’s living with her parents whilst she does her degree.’

‘Nice.’ A short quiet falls then. With any other of her previous interests, it probably would have been awkward, but not with James. It’s just nice. He’s nice.

‘What are you cooking?’ he pipes up after a few minutes.

‘Something simple. Chicken stir fry.’

‘I bet that’ll be great.’

‘Hopefully, yeah. Have you eaten yet, James?’ Lily is surprised at how soft the question sounds when it comes out of her mouth. The bastard’s endeared himself to me, she thinks.

‘Not yet. I’ll message Sirius in a bit, see what he fancies. He’s a shit cook, so it’s either I cook for the both of us or we go out for dinner.’

‘You guys are really close then.’

‘Yeah,’ James says, and he sounds like he’s properly proud of it. ‘He’s basically my brother. We grew up together, you know? And then he lived with us for a few years until the two of us were eighteen, and then we came to the same uni together and everything. We just get each other.’

‘That’s lovely.’

‘Yeah. He’s like, the best thing in my life right now. Him, and the band, and big Tesco’s.’ Lily laughs at that last addition.

‘A respectable top three, to be sure. How did it come about, the band?’

‘We all went to school together. But like, school’s boring, right? Or at least secondary is. So we needed something to make it more bearable, and there were two typical teenage things we came up with in the end. Pranks - aimed at teachers and cocky year sevens and generally just creating chaos - and starting a band. God, I don’t know how McGonagall put up with us. We’d run round the place like dickheads setting traps for whoever was unlucky enough to be in the Maths department that day, and then spend all our lessons planning stuff to do with the band. What songs we were going to play, what outrageous outfits Sirius could wear next, what we’d call ourselves. And then that never really stopped.’ James has a way of speaking that just puts you at ease, Lily finds. It’s almost like magic.

‘Sounds a lot more eventful than my experience at school.’

‘Yeah. Eleven to fifteen was pretty insane. We calmed down a bit after that - A Levels to think about and all.’

They keep talking for a while, on their cosy little cooking call. The conversation just seems to flow, moving from topic to topic like embroidery thread dipping into silk until Lily is somehow already plating up, five neat portions of food ready to be served. She tells James this, and he congratulates her on a job well done. Then, they say their goodbyes and he leaves her to the rest of her night. There’s a strange sort of emptiness after he hangs up the phone. She didn’t realise just how much she’d gotten used to having his voice chatting away in the background.

[fantasy-mixtapes]

❄️ Lucy Frostblade ❄️

Fantasy High Junior-Year Mini-Playlist

It's blizzarding where I am, so I've decided it's the perfect time to post my first Fantasy High NPC playlist. Lucy has been captivating my little theorist mind for weeks now, and God, I have so many feelings about her. A lot of the situations that I have this playlist highlighting are very much headcanons/theories about who she was, her relationships, and the events leading up to her death. (also, they are all winter-themed. None of them are explicitly "holiday," but one is holiday adjacent, as it comes from Sufjan Steven's holiday album and is inspired by Christmas, though it is instrumental)

Genres: Alternative, Folk, Instrumental

Vibes: Moody, Introspective, Spiraling, Winter

SPOILERS AND THEORIES BELOW

1. Winter is Blue, Vashti Bunyan

Winter is blue Living is gone Some are just sleeping In spring, they'll go on Our love is dead Nothing but crying Love will not find even One more new morning Why must I stay here Rain comes I'm sitting here Watching love moving Away into yesterday

Vashti Bunyan is a name in folk that you need to know. She's 79, and she's still writing amazingly gorgeous music. This one comes from my personal winter solstice mix that I've had since high school, so every year when wintertime rolls around, this song is always one that I am vibing to. I think the way it gets at this really soft sadness is perfect for lucy and how she worked with her goddess.

2. If Winter Ends, Bright Eyes

I dreamt of a fever one that would cure me of this cold, winter-set heart With heat to melt these frozen tears burned with reasons as to carry on Into these twisted months I plunge without a light to follow But I swear that I would follow anything Just get me out of here

Ok, this ties into a theory I have. We were only told a few things about Lucy in her introduction but one of the things that was reiterated several times by Brennan as Yolanda Badgood was that she was deeply sad/depressed. And part of that comes with the territory of her god, Ruvina, whose domain includes sadness, coldness, and winter.

Lucy, before her death, tries to switch her god (whether of her own volition or not) to Ankarna. Ankarna, as we found out, is a sibling of Ruvina and a Summer god, which might also put them originally as a god of joy and warmth- acting as a foil to Ruvina's sadness. So maybe part of the motivation that Lucy had to switch gods was to find something that could bring her out of her depression.

What confirms this to me is that in the d20 mid-season recap, after they show Kristen talking with Yolanda about Lucy, they end it with a clip of Ally as Kristen."Was it to something more positive?"

3. Winter Wonderland, Animal Collective

Mold of the fawn I have been frozen there for days With headlights reflecting in my face I must be cold on your lawn But inside I'm okay I can live without your time Where snowmen never melt Instead, they all went shy And if you don't believe in fantasy Then don't believe in fantasy Do you not believe in fantasy because it gets you down? If you don't believe it's raining I won't tell you that it's raining Do you not believe it's raining just because it gets you down? And if you don't believe in happiness Then don't believe in happiness If you don't believe in happiness then man you must be down If you don't believe you're dying I won't tell you that you're dying But do you not believe you're dying just because it gets you down?

You can find my thoughts on this song here!

4. The Incarnation, Sufjan Stevens

(instrumental)

This song I picture playing under the miracle Kristen performs, releasing the souls of Lucy and Yolanda in the forest. It is truly gorgeous, and I think the reverence and mystery in it is perfect for a miracle of doubt

[izoom02]

OMG?!?!?! I enjoyed your jungwon one so much😭😭 Can I ask for a request about Ni-ki where he only used reader for his gain like fame or whatever and then when reader broke up with him, he realized how much he actually loves them ( AJSKAJAJHA I thought of this when I was about to sleep )

“Please come back”

Pairing: Ni-ki x reader !!

Genre: Angst !!

Warning: Swearing !!

Notes: This is actually good! I also have to apologize for not uploading in my Heeseung smau, I have to re create the next chapter because I lost all my progress😭

———————————————

Y/N’s father is very wealthy and succcessfully. He is known for his successful luxury brands. So at school, Y/N is adored by everyone because of it, not only because of her father, also because she treats everyone so nicely and doesnt look low to others. Ni-ki, of course, is well known at their school as a ‘Ladykiller’, he only used girls for money, power and fame, he never feel bad and never will ‘cause he enjoys it, and besides the girls always crawl back to him, begging to get back together, he always found that funny. Its really easy to charm a girl anyway but why can’t he charm you??? You know what he wants, its very obvious, but to be fair… It’s kind of cute when he leaves cute notes at your locker or when he gives you a paper flowers, you can tell he did it, its kind of crumpled and its funny to think how many times he tried making this but it’s really cute, maybe he changed..? Because of his little scheme, you are now slowly getting convinced that he might be a good guy and he changed.

So one day, you accept his confession, he was your first love, you had a first date and he was your first everything but something changed… its been 3 months and he started to become cold and distant. He wouldn’t even look at you when you call him, at first you thought he was having a bad day, he was demanding you to give him alot of money, you even found out when he is going to a ‘study group’ he was actually on a trip with his gang. It’s been a rough week for you guys, you thought you guys are already falling apart so you bought him a Bungeoppang and a Nintendo switch since he was talking about it with his friends alot, you gave it to him but he just took it without saying thank you. You sat down at the couch thinking for a solution why is he like that but then you saw on his Instagram, He was hugging another girl… maybe that was his cousin but deep inside you, you know its not his cousin, you were just forcing yourself because you love him alot and then one day, you finally snapped… when you saw a girl was at his house and kissed him at the lips, you were crying hard and accidentally let a sob which they both heard, Ni-ki laughed and said “ Did you really think I would like someone like you?? You are just a nobody.. nothing special” You were stupid falling for his trap… You were beyond angry “ Fuck you Ni-ki… fuck you so much..” You just hope karma gets him, after all karma is a bitch…

Its been a month since you guys broke up, you are starting to move on, you were improving your grades, making alot of friends and helping your dad with his buisness, everything is perfect again but what about Ni-ki?? His life went downhill… his girlfriend broke up with him for not having enough money to buy her luxury brands, girls no longer getting charmed by him and his friends suddenly stopped hanging out with him. He wakes up, kind of missing you leaving delicious breakfast at his bed or when you guys are cuddling before getting up in bed. He missed the time you guys spent together… Wait what? He missed you? No, thats not right… Then that clicks him, everytime he ignores you and you pout, he cant help but kind of smile, or when you hug him to comfort him, or when you guys watch his favorite cartoons, or when you guys shared your kiss, he then realized he actually loves you… but now he lost you because of his stupid greed… yes he did gain alot before but now he lost everything, and the only thing he wants back, is you… he tried to talk to you but you ignored him.. you want nothing to do with him, everyday he begs with to your surprise, he never begs at all. You gave him a chance to speak up, “ Please Y/N come back, I was stupid… so fucking stupid, I want you back.. I missed you and I loved you, it took me a while to realized that. I will change, please just come back” he states, he was sobbing, you felt bad… but the damage has been done, and plus he sound sincere and he does sounds like he means everything he said, “I forgive you Ni-ki… I forgive you for what have you done but the damage has been done, I forgive you but I wont forget it, we can start over and just stay friends”, it did hurt but he understands why, so he agree to start over.

[rainbow-nerdss]

Finding You (Part 4)

Written for @augustwritingchallenge day 29: Dark Buddie, 2k Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 Read it on AO3

Buck's eyes caught on the photo frame, just as they had every time he walked into Eddie's house since the picture had been placed there, close to two years ago now.

It was them, arms around each other, though they'd been complete strangers the night before it was taken. Standing in front of a vintage fire engine — it felt something like fate, like a promise from the universe, bringing them back together.

Beside that picture were two more — one of Christopher and Shannon, and the other— the most recent addition — taken in the photo booth at May's graduation party a week before, Chris standing between Eddie and Buck, all three of them grinning at the camera.

"Eddie?" Buck called. "Good to go?"

"Almost!" Eddie's voice came from down the hall. He emerged from Chris's room holding a Lego set. "He forgot to bring it with him when Carla dropped him to school, apparently he needs it for show and tell. Do you mind making a stop?"

Buck laughed. "’Course not. We'd better get going, though, unless we want Bobby to write us up for being late.”

They’d been car-pooling, ever since Chris had done a project on climate change and insisted they start doing something to reduce their carbon footprint. He’d also been strictly monitoring their recycling habits, leaving sticky notes every time he found something in the wrong trash can.

Buck could never say no to that kid, and a little extra time with Eddie before and after work was always welcome.

They just about made it to work on time, slipping in the door just as Bobby was beginning his morning briefing.

It was a good day.

Until it wasn't.

A fire at a storage facility, which wouldn’t have been too bad, except it was on an auction day, and there were an unknown number of civilians inside the units.

Buck and Eddie walked through the hallways, knocking on each door they passed, making sure nobody was left behind.

They found one container with the door slightly ajar. No response, but Buck went in just to check, and Eddie followed him.

The door swung shut, slamming with a heavy thud.

They couldn't open it.

"Try the light?" Eddie suggested, but Buck couldn't find the switch.

Eddie radioed the team, letting them know what happened.

"Any sign of fire near you?" Bobby asked. "Any injuries?"

"Just to our pride," Buck answered. He heard Chimney laugh, meaning he'd taken the time to hit the button on his radio just so they would hear.

Rude.

"Alright, sit tight, guys. We'll get this fire under control, take care of our victims, then we'll come get you."

"Got it, Cap," they both confirmed.

Buck felt along the wall until he found a spot where he could sit.

"Guess we've got some time to kill," he grunted, shifting his weight slightly to get comfortable.

He heard Eddie moving around, then a clatter, swearing, and Eddie was tripping over Buck's legs and falling to the ground.

"Shit!" Buck reached out to help him up. "You okay?"

"All good," Eddie groaned. "Just a little bruised, I think."

"Maybe we should stay in one spot, while we're stuck here in the dark," Buck suggested, helping Eddie get situated sitting beside him.

"Probably for the best."

Their shoulders pressed together in the dark space, and Buck turned his head in Eddie's direction, even though he could barely see his outline.

"How long d'you think it'll take them?" Buck asked.

"No idea. It's not so bad here though."

"Are you kidding? It smells like something died."

Eddie laughed, Buck slowly joining him.

"You heard Maddie's news, right?" Buck asked after a few moments. Her and Chimney had just started telling people about their pregnancy, and Buck had been dying to talk to Eddie about it.

"You were there when I heard it, Buck," Eddie laughed. "Or should I be calling you Uncle Buck?"

Buck snorted. "You know, I had no idea what Chim was referencing when he said that at first? He had to sit me down and make me watch the movie so he could keep making jokes about it."

Eddie laughed again. "Why am I not surprised?" 

Buck nudged him.

"How are you feeling about it?" Eddie asked.

"Honestly? I can't wait. I'm gonna spoil the shit out of that kid."

"Really? I remember when Adriana had her first kid, I was… Well, excited isn’t the first word that comes to mind.”

Buck frowned. “How come?” 

He felt Eddie shrug beside him. “I just… I couldn’t picture myself as an uncle, you know? Then three years later, I was a dad, so.” Buck wanted to say something, but that was all so long ago, he didn’t know what he could say. He did the math in his head — it mustn’t have been long after Buck met them, he figured. He thought of the Eddie he had met back then, so young, so unsure of what he wanted. “I guess it’s different for you though,” Eddie continued. “You have more practice with kids than I did.”

“Thanks to you,” Buck said. They weren’t the first words that came to mind, though. No, the first thing Buck thought at Eddie’s words was I already feel like a dad. A frankly ridiculous thought to have about a kid he’d known for all of two years, not even a quarter of his life. 

Sure, he knew Chris cared about him, that he enjoyed their time together as much as Buck did. The three of them, Buck, Eddie and Chris, they just… fit together, in a way Buck had never allowed himself to think too closely on, for fear that it would all fall apart if he did. 

“You know,” Eddie’s voice broke through Buck’s thoughts. “When I told Chris the news, he was excited too. He said he couldn’t wait to have a new baby cousin.”

Buck turned red, suddenly grateful for the dark that surrounded them. “He did?” 

“Yeah.” 

“What did you say?” 

The pause before Eddie answered was a long one. “I didn’t correct him.” 

“Oh. Really?” The thought Buck had pushed aside before came back to the surface. If Chris thought of Maddie’s kid as his cousin, then it would suggest…

“Buck, I need to tell you something.”

Eddie’s voice was heavy with something Buck couldn’t recognise. It sounded serious, though. 

“You need to tell me something now? Here?” 

“I’ve chickened out too many times already, when there was somewhere else I could run, or when I could see your face.” 

“Okay. What is it? You’re making me nervous.”

Buck was ready for Eddie to say something which would hurt him. To say that he didn’t like how close Buck had gotten to Chris, how involved Buck was in their lives, that he was a burden on them in some way. Buck was the one who wanted to run now, to escape this conversation which neither of them would be able to move on from without something fundamentally shifting.

“I think I’ve been falling in love with you.”

It took Buck a full minute to process Eddie’s words. They couldn’t have meant what he thought they did, but he replayed them in his mind, and he couldn’t find another meaning beyond the obvious. 

Beyond Eddie loving him.

“Buck? Say something, I can’t see your face right now, and I need to know what—” 

Buck kissed him. Or, he tried to. In the dark, he sort of misjudged the distance between his face and Eddie’s, and the kiss landed what felt like somewhere between Eddie’s nose and his eye. 

He redirected, though, and this time he hit the mark.

He felt Eddie leaning into the kiss, lips soft against his own. “Eds, I started falling for you the day you sat next to me in a doorway in Boston, and I don’t think I ever stopped.” 

“Really?” Eddie whispered against his mouth, the sound sending a shiver down Buck’s spine.

“Really,” Buck assured him, preventing any further questions with another kiss.

Eddie’s gloved hand reached up to touch Buck’s face, and after a frustrated grunt it disappeared, replaced a moment later by Eddie’s warm hand. Buck pulled his own gloves off, pulling Eddie closer, sliding his hands under Eddie’s turnout coat, finding the warmth of his skin through his work t-shirt. 

Buck’s tongue darted out, and Eddie let him in with a soft noise. Buck moved, trying to get a better angle. This time, he was the one who fell, but Eddie didn’t help him up. He followed him down, until they were tangled together on the floor.

“Fuck, Eddie,” Buck sighed, feeling Eddie’s fingers slide through his hair. He lost himself in the kiss, the feeling of Eddie pressed up against him, lips pressed against lips, bodies flush from head to toe.

Buck didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but it was long enough for him to forget where they were and why, until he heard a crash from outside, followed by a stream of light pouring through the now-open door.

Eddie sat up, eyes wide in surprise, and Buck craned his neck to see the entire rest of the team standing in the doorway, staring at them.

“Why didn’t you guys radio to say you were there?” he asked. Eddie turned to look back at Buck, and it took everything in him not to pull him back down now he could see the kiss-swollen lips, glassy eyes and flushed cheeks, knowing he’d done that.

Chimney was grinning, gesturing to his radio. “You guys were kind of hogging the channel,” he said. 

Buck frowned and turned to look at his own radio. Sure enough, he was broadcasting. He must have hit the button when he fell back. His face heated up even more as he wondered how much they’d heard.

He pulled himself up to a seated position and switched the radio off, grumbling. 

“We thought you’d been injured at first, but… I guess not,” Bobby said. Buck fixed his gear, then helped Eddie to his feet. There was a moment, when their eyes met and Buck felt giddy, remembering those words. I think I’ve been falling in love with you.

Eddie smiled, almost shy, and Buck nodded, the smile on his face feeling like it might never leave. 

“We’d better go,” Hen said, interrupting their moment in a tone that Buck was sure meant they’d be discussing this later. 

The rest of their shift dragged. Teasing from the rest of the team, twenty minutes in Bobby’s office filling out HR forms, laying awake through the night in the bunk room because Eddie was right there in the next bunk over, just out of reach when Buck could be holding him close. 

He kept wishing for a call, just to stop him from saying screw it and doing something which would absolutely necessitate sitting through another round of HR bullshit.

Finally, their shift ended, and Buck followed Eddie to his truck, pressing him against the door and kissing him again. Eddie smiled against his mouth, then broke the kiss. 

“I gotta get home in time to bring Christopher to school. Meet me there?” Eddie asked. 

Buck nodded, kissing him once more, just because he could. He was barely inside his jeep before his phone was lighting up with a call from Maddie. He was surprised it had taken this long for Chimney to tell her, honestly, but maybe she had just been waiting for their shift to end so he couldn’t get away with inventing a call.

He turned towards Eddie’s, answering Maddie’s call on speaker and bracing himself for her to yell at him about being the last one to find out. 

He couldn’t even feel bad, not when he pulled into Eddie’s and let himself inside, not when he helped himself to a cup of coffee and waited for Eddie to get home from the school run, staring at the pictures of them on Eddie’s wall. He couldn’t feel bad, not when they’d greet each other at the door with a kiss when Eddie got home, then stumble back to Eddie’s room together, falling onto the bed to pick up where they’d left off in the storage facility, this time with light coming through the blinds so Buck could see every expression on Eddie’s face, every inch of his skin.

How could he be anything but the happiest he’d ever been?

[tera-91]

Wild month ...

I cant believe I went all spooky season without posting.

Well I wrote something and left my computer for a few hours and I don’t know what happened but all that I wrote that morning was just gone.

No, like a silly person I did not save before I left but there was another word doc I had open too that I hadn’t saved but that one was recovered …

Anyway it wasn’t too informative other than I was nervous about what might happened when my manager came back from leave. Honestly it was almost too accurate…

I walked in and my hands almost immediately started to shake with barely a good morning. It took less than an hour for this manager to get grumpy about something that was going on I don’t remember what it was. I could tell the schedule was going to be an issue since this manager kept checking out the next schedule the other manager put out throughout the day. To my *not* shock this manager asked why I wasn’t scheduled outside my availability as far as working in the evening. Not that this manager cared that I was scheduled EVERY day I usually have off or that I had two days off that I typically work due to a thing my sibling and I are going to. Oh no that was not a concern but the fact that I was not scheduled to work the late shift.

The whole time this manager has been gone Ive been putting in job applications either to get a second job or to just have a back up plan if I reach my breaking point again.

Part of me has considered to just quit … again. Once I get into the program I want to at school if the last years schedule is going to be similar to this new year coming up I would be in class the majority of the day 3 days a week. I already work, typically 4 days a week.

The way the schedule currently is, I’m not completely sure how to write it out. So I would have class on at least 2 days I’m typically off of work. I usually work on a day I would have to have class and there’s no switching that class day around so the only way for me to keep the number of hours is for me to work on the third day I typically have off or for me to work a few hours on probably at least 2 of the days that I have class without going beyond the time of day I can work.

Basically I just wouldn’t have a day off between the two at all or if I worked on a day or two I would have class I might have one day a week free. That’s like 50 hours a week just in work and class not including any kind of homework. I think its recommended you spend 2 or 3 hours per credit hour between homework and studying. That’s another like 18 to 30 hours. So that inflates my week to nearly 70 or 80 hours. I know some people do that routinely but still.

I have a difficult enough time just making sure I get assignments in on time and making time to study since I work the day before exams as it is.

I know that is a while away so I don’t think too much about it other than I need to find something else before that happens. Hell with the way the manager made me feel on day 1 of us working together after their return Im like I need to put a heavy foot on the grind to get my side projects done. Just need to get something to the point that I would feel comfortable to not work. The second day wasn’t much better. Getting all huffy and puffy because I am not an octopus and cant do 3 things at the same time. Without going into too much detail I was working on an immediate two part issue that would take less than 2 minutes to resolve since at the time I was already half way done when this manager said no that I was to do something else now. This thing *couldn’t* wait even though there was not an immediate issue with it other than I guess this manager was afraid they were going to inadvertently throw it out since they were going around the place throwing stuff out. I swear this individual asks questions with little to no context but doesn’t give me enough time to even register what they are referring to. That or they want something done and I just got to the point of absolutely not. I mean I think I was asked to do two or three things last shift that the manager ended up asking my coworker to do since I still doing what was previously asked on me. I’m not slow at my job but also when we have so many interruptions and tasks randomly asked of us not immediate to what we are doing. I almost said to just write me a list of the items you want me to complete in the next idk how long was left in the shift but I would get them all done.

Anyway, due to this manager’s task allocations (which in my opinion they give themselves too much busy work or whatever that makes things harder for them that they give out tasks they could more aptly complete) the next shift is more than likely going to start “behind the ball.” Which means I’m going to have to clean it up on my next shift.

This manager is back and with less than a handful of shifts working with this individual I’m back to being a jittery mess. I don’t want to go to work knowing they will be there. I’m practically holding my breath every time they speak. Watching every word I say, I try to joke to make light of the stressful environment, but it just gets thrown back at me. Or waiting to see if im going to be on the end of a conversation that feels like an interrogation. Wondering if they will go off about something. Say something that makes me feel dumb (I’m a bit dyslexic especially with numbers and I haven’t been diagnosed officially but my sibling says I have adhd so I do know I make little mistakes here and there but not anything that someone else doesn’t sometimes do as well). FFS Im up at 4am writing this because I cant sleep and ive been up for over an hour, maybe 2 at this point already. It’s fine since I have the day off as im writing this but still. How many more nights will I sleep maybe 4 or 5 hours before waking up unable to fall back asleep.

I hate to sound like a broken record. Mostly because I tell myself that I will do these things and then procrastinate and not do them. I’m going to do my best to hold myself to it. The only thing I think I can do is, well hopefully not burn out while doing it, but to spend as much time as possible on my side projects. Something. Maybe on my days that I work its just an hour but on the days im off its at least 3 to 5 hours. Spend time writing and editing and recording. Like the days that Im off that I have the mental capacity to it ill write, record and do the creative editing, while on the days that I work ill do the things that are a little less mentally draining like just the audio scrubbing.

[worldofroma]

September 3rd, 2023 Sunday - 9:07pm

school starts on tuesday. what the fuck. i haven’t updated in a while, but man do i have a lot of shit to talk about. so…that dude i was friends with… yeah we dated. my entire work found out which was quite humiliating and annoying but for some reason, his ex was the least bothered by it, in front of me. in front of my other friends who work there…not so much. but hey less conflict and confrontational drama for me right? plus, i said dated, i broke up with him after 3 weeks. yeah. and i kind of feel awful but at the same time i don’t. after i broke up with him (over text btw), i went to the CNE in toronto and got to pay 20$ for a palm reading from a psychic and it felt like a slap in the face.

first of all, she starts off by saying that i need to stop being such a mean person. in other words, she called me a bitch. subtly. and she told me that she can see i have a softer and sweeter side to me and that i should be showing that much more often, but to not let others take advantage of it and let myself become a mother for others. “they have a mother, they do not need you to be a second or third one”. i almost threw up when she said that. she said that i have a lot of work to do when it came to self love and care, thanks. i’m aware. but then she added that i’ll be travelling around the world and i won’t be alone, but she couldn’t tell if i’d be with a lover or a friend. 🤷‍♀️. my step dad said there’s no way i’d travel with a man so i guess i’m either going with a friend or somehow switching sides in the next few years, but i can’t see that ever happening. but then after that she decided to go ahead and tell me that i’ll be happily married at some point in my life with four children. four fucking children. no thank you i like having a uterus that’s inside me not one that’ll fall out spontaneously by the time i’m having a midlife crisis. she also said something about business but i can’t remember exactly what it was she said but it was positive.

but fuck, this wasn’t even the worst part since the last time i’ve wrote an entry, this has just been sitting at the front of my brain since i got the reading. what’s been really important is the fact that i have most definitely been reborn. something over the course of this summer has changed me. i am not the same person i was before school ended and i’m fucking proud of it too. i’m sick of being that girl that just sat at the back of each class, behind the chaos and chatting and laughing that goes on in each of my classes. i want to actually be seen now, but only because i know i am myself now. these past few years of high school, i’ve been stuck. locked up after the disgusting lock downs. but that’s not who i am anymore. and now that i’m free from a boyfriend (i swear i’m not that much of a slut), i can do whatever the hell i want. and i love it. as toxic and stupid as it sounds, i’m literally embodying the manic pixie dream girl persona just because i feel like it. and who’s gonna stop me? that’s another thing i’ve adapted, the mindset of “why care? it’s my life not yours.” i’ve been thinking of changing my name for a while bc of course my real name is not roma, but i want it to be, and many people i know have told me that that’s a stupid idea. it’s cringy. it’s weird. okay… you expect me to care why? it’s my life, my name, why does it matter to you if i change it or not? it’s not like i’ll be treating my real name like a deadname or anything, people i know now can still call me by my real name, but once i’m in university, that name and version of myself is gone. i’ll be roma, and i’ll be whoever the hell i decide to be with each day that passes. and i don’t mean to say that in some kind of emo way either, like it’s some kind of depressive phase of “oh, i feel so trapped here in this stupid small town 💔🥀🫠, i just want to disappear and become a whole new person 😈🚬🪦”. like no. lmfao. i think that’s what a lot of people think when i tell them these things, but trust me, its not. my ideas are more along the lines of taking advantage of the freedom we are given but without crossing the line of “acceptable” behaviour. it’s really just the hippie life style ig. on another topic of being whoever i decide to be, i’ve come to realize how much power i actually could have if i just didn’t care so much. i have a tendency to overthink things, overcare about things, make things awkward because i overthink things way too much. but i’m done with that shit, who really cares? the only thing that matters this year at school is my grades, nothing else. after i graduate, what are the chances i see anyone i go to school with now for the rest of my life? probably extremely slim with my plans for the future including travelling and never fucking returning to bruce county. nothing fucking matters.

back to the topic of how i become a mother for everyone, i hate that. i’ve been researching a lot about it and the correct term for it is parentification and occurs when a child and parents roles are reversed. for example, the child is the one who listens to the parents problems while theres are pushed away or labeled as “nothing to worry about”. i hate that i went through that and i hate that it’s made me unconsciously become everyone around me’s mother. worst part about it is that after i saw the psychic and began thinking about it more, i realized that while i was in the relationship with the dude from my work, i was most definitely just acting like a mother he can touch however he likes which is absolutely disgusting. and i wished i had realized it sooner. hopefully, i can somehow change that.

but yeah, that’s how my august has been. pretty self discovering and yet somehow uneventful. lovely.

[angelofthenight]

Cardigans in August Pt.5

(Bruce Yamada x Reader x Vance Hopper)

Summary: During the summer after a fight, (Y/n) cheats on Bruce with Vance. When school starts again Vance thinks he finally has (Y/n) until she tries to win Bruce back.

Warnings: Angst, Love triangle, Swearing, (Y/n) isn’t a very good person, Fights

Word Count: 3.2k

Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7

“Chase two boys, lose the one”

“Slept next to him, but I dreamt of you all summer long”

“'Cause you weren't mine to lose”

You sat in your homeroom Monday morning twiddling with your fingers anxiously as you kept your eyes locked on the door. You watched as every person you weren’t waiting for walked in. You bit your lip ruefully as the bell rang and still no sign of Bruce, your now freshly ex-boyfriend. God, you hated the sound of that and how the sound of it filled you with such penitence.

Your homeroom teacher got up from her desk with her attendance clipboard to the front of the room. She began saying names aloud and receiving ‘here’s. You almost missed your name being called as your focus was so occupied on the door. The teacher went in alphabetical order with last names so Bruce was always called last. She finally reached the end of the list. “Sam Wagner is absent and Bruce Yamada switched homerooms.” She said to herself, crossing his name off the list.

Your shoulders physically sulked and your features drooped. You told yourself not to make assumptions over why Bruce switched homerooms but a sinking feeling in your stomach told you it was because of you. Later that day, sometime during the second passing period, you almost felt like you couldn’t breathe when you saw Bruce in the hallway. Your mind began racing with ideas of what to do or say.

You ran out of time as he was nearing you and just before he was about to pass you, you nervously smiled at him and gave him a little wave.

Bruce internally snarled at you, wondering how you had the audacity to smile at him after what you did. Unfortunately, as you were his greatest weakness, his kryptonite, he couldn't bring himself to give you a nasty response. He couldn't even feel hatred for more than a moment. And he hated that he couldn’t hate you. He hated that under all his pain and resentment, he still loved you and missed you.

Even when it took everything in him just to get up that morning after nights of cursing your name, he still secretly wished he never left that summer or wished that you would come back to him like nothing even happened. Because now he’d never know what you never said to him.

He stared at you. As much as he wanted to flip you off, there was a soft spot still lingering in his heart for you. And where giving you the bird may have been a tempting offer, he couldn't bring himself to snub the one he loved. So he just gave you a blank look as he passed you.

Therefore he resolved to pretending like you never existed, gaslighting himself into thinking he was fine. Although... if he said he felt no spite whatsoever, he would be lying. Of course he wanted to feel vindicated, to have you miss him terribly and beg him for things to return to normal. However, he knew this was a pipe dream, one that would never happen.

It was exactly as you feared, you had created an ultimatum with him, a complete betrayal. Bruce continuously gave you the same attitude for the rest of the week. It was even worse than you had feared. His love was slipping through your fingers like sand and you were helpless to grasp it. You were stricken with a case of only knowing what you had after it's gone. You began to panic, praying that you weren’t too late.

~

Vance entered the cafeteria looking like a man on a mission, his eyes scanning the crowded and loud room in search of you. After moving his head around to look everywhere he could from where he stood he finally caught sight of you at the outdoor lunch tables through the window. He desperately needed to talk to you so he sucked in a breath and began walking in pursuit of the door that led to outside. 

He was so focused on getting to you rather than watching where he was going that he rammed right into the person who walked across his path. Both Vance and the person groaned as they stumbled on their feet from the impact. Bruce rubbed his shoulder he was sure would be bruised by tomorrow before he looked over to see the blind culprit who crashed into him. 

Bruce and Vance made eye contact.

Both of their eyes shifted into glares as they both had an equally negative opinion of the other, despite how similar their pain from you was. Bruce was looking at the guy who stole his girlfriend from him all summer. Vance was looking at the guy who was the only thing keeping him and you apart.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve, Hopper.” Bruce said lowly as he narrowed his eyes at him, wondering how he had the audacity to bump into him after what he did. Vance sneered at the other boy, almost bitterly humored that Bruce spoke to him like that. “‘The nerve’? Who the fuck do you think you are?” Bruce’s eyes widened in an offended way, not believing he just said that. “Who do you think you are? Throwing yourself at a girl who was already taken?”

That struck a temperamental, emotional chord with Vance. “I did not throw myself at her!” He said louder than his previous volume, taking a step toward him. “I have a hard time believing that.” Bruce scoffed. “I should have known from the start. I should have known when you would stand just a little too close to her. I should have known when you would always wait at her classroom door to walk with her while I wasn’t around.” Bruce said all of this while slowly walking closer. 

In full honesty, he expected the unfaithful affair from Vance and not from you. You were the one in a relationship and Vance was just a juvenile delinquent. Maybe it was a mix from the heartache of missing you and the slight jealousy of Vance, but Bruce just wanted someone other than you to blame. And being face to face with your paramour, the jealousy shifted into anger directed towards him.

“So it’s not hard to believe that you pressured and manipulated her into-” Vance cut him off with a snappy tone. “I didn’t manipulate her to do shit, it was all her own free will.” His lips slightly upturned, sick pleasure running through his veins from getting to prove him wrong and that you liked him more than Bruce. “Does that bother you? That she was into it the entire time?”

Bruce clenched a fist as his side but then loosened it, he knew physically displaying his anger was exactly what Vance wanted. He wanted to see him crack, see him break, see Denver’s perfect golden boy crumble and crash and burn. He simply gripped his jaw and lifted his chin in a superior way. “No. I always knew you were jealous of me. Were you jealous of how happy we were together?” The whole weight of the situation became heavier on Bruce’s shoulders and his mind was hitting his own sensitive spots. “Is that why you took her from me?”

“Shut the fuck up!” Vance lashed out, causing more eyes to land on the pair in each others’ faces with steam practically coming out of their ears. “You weren’t qualified to be her boyfriend! You’re not even half the man I am. Plus you were both miserable anyway! I don’t get what she ever saw in you, I just really don’t get it. You’re stuck up and a prissy asshole. You fucking suck and (Y/n) knows you suck.” 

Bruce pointed an accusing finger at Vance, finally slowly losing his sense of self control after the verbalization of your name coming from his dirty mouth. “Don’t you dare act like you know more about her than me!”

“How do you know I don’t? You don’t know what she’s like when we’re alone! She talks to me like I’m her diary, she trusts me and loves me! And I bet all you did was bitch about her the whole summer!” Vance barked, not even realizing that in the middle of that quick tangent he let his self doubt about your feelings for him slip with the denial of its nonexistence. 

Bruce’s eyes widened, highly offended over what Vance accused him of. “I would never talk about her like that!” He practically screamed which was finally enough for a crowd to start forming around them as the two were too caught up in their heated argument to notice. “I’ve never said anything bad about her to anyone! Even after our breakup!”

Vance’s furious expression dropped from the statement, his eyes eyebrows vaguely raising in wonder and surprise. It didn’t really matter who did the breaking up with since either way a little miss (Y/n) was finally, after three and a half years, back on the market. “You’re broken up?” He asked softly, a small smile teasing the corner of his lips

It wasn’t what Vance said that finally pushed Bruce over the edge, it was how he said it. A tone of victory partnered with a voice of hope. Oh god how it basically spat in his face. He clenched his teeth. 

Bruce felt a loss of his senses and blacked out for a second, the only memory being a fuzz previous to regaining his awareness after Vance stumbled back a few feet while hovering a hand over his pinkening cheek. Bruce was huffing and puffing and rubbed his stinging knuckles as gasps and ‘ooooh's from the crowd were ending. 

He had punched Vance right across the face. 

Vance looked back up at Bruce like he was going to murder him right then and there. “Fuck him up, Bruce!” One of Bruce’s friends cheered from the sidelines as the audience grew in number from the sound of violence. Vance growled like a bulldog before attempting to pounce onto Bruce to rip him to shreds but a few people jumped in to restrain him as teachers rushed over, him still trying to reach for Bruce.

A repeated cheer of “fight!” filled the cafeteria before Bruce snapped, “You took everything from me!”, and tried to reach for Vance too with tight fists. The teachers reached it in time to rip the boys away from each other in opposite directions as they still yelled at each other and tried to break free from their binding restraints. 

~

Desperation clawed at your throat as you tried to plan out your apology to Bruce. During lunches you’d scribble down different apologies in your notebook, writing paragraphs about much you missed him and how stupid you were and how Vance meant nothing to you compared to him. You ripped every page out and crumbled into a ball for the garbage. You sulked against the tree as you realized you wouldn’t know where to apologize to him. He ignores you in the halls, you no longer had homeroom together, the baseball team probably hates you as much as him, and he would never let you in his house. You froze. You got an idea.

Next weekend was a baseball game and usually after the game they have a big party, it was typically always at Bruce’s house since his parents adored having guests for parties. What if you just… showed up to the party? It’d be hard to throw you out without making a scene so he would have to listen to you… right? No. He probably wouldn’t have you or want you. Hell, he’d probably tell you to go fuck youself!

But you couldn’t help but fantasize of more positive outcomes. Like maybe he’d kiss you right there on the porch in front of all his stupid friends. Your fantasies motivated you into the bathroom to practice what you’d say. Facing the mirror, you breathed in and breathed out.

“Bruce, I am so so sorry. Words cannot describe how guilty I am-” You stopped and sighed, rubbing your hand over your eyes. “Wow, trying to make him feel bad. Way to go, (Y/n).” You said with bitter sarcasm. You looked back up to try again. “If you take me back, I swear I’ll never do it again.” You groaned at your own ignorance. “What kind of an apology was that, you dipshit?” You said to your reflection as if it was another person.

You closed your eyes for another breath before opening them to restart. “I know I made a mistake, and I know I was being an idiot. But I don’t love him, I love you. I was just thinking with my-” You flinched at your terrible words and looked down to see yourself motioning to your southern hemisphere. You threw your hands back up to rub your temples with wide eyes. “God I sound like the bitchiest skeeze!” You groaned to yourself and your horrible attempt at trying to make it sound like you understood your mistake.

You gripped and stared down at the drain as you tried to hold in tears. You were never going to get Bruce back. You couldn’t even figure out a good way to apologize! You were suffering the consequences of your idiotic actions and you had no idea how to claw your way back to the land of the living. Why were you having such a hard time with putting your feelings into words? Was it because now you had to talk about the deeper parts of your emotions rather than an “I love you” being enough? You felt your throat grow harder to breathe in as you choked out a pitiful sob followed by your building tears finally overflowing from your eyes.

You pressed a hand to your mouth as you continued to cough out cries and hot tears. You were so caught up in your own little pity party that you almost didn’t hear one of the bathroom stalls flush and unlock.

When Donna originally heard you come in and start practicing some apology in the mirror then yell at yourself, she lifted her legs off the ground and intended to wait until you left. But once she heard a small sniffle escalate to sobbing, she didn’t have it in her to just sit there hiding and not do anything. So she gathered up all her courage and went to approach the upperclassmen.

You hiccuped when you saw her come out of one of the stalls and you quickly wiped your wet cheeks with your fingers. “Sorry, I didn’t think anyone was in here.” Donna shrugged as she walked over to the sinks. “It’s alright. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” She said with a humorous tone which succeeded in making you chuckle. “It’s not going anywhere anyway.”

Donna looked to your downcasted face to your open notebook. “Are you practicing an apology?” She asked softly as she washed her hands. You lazily closed your notebook with a nod. “Yeah, for my boyfriend. I- Well, apparently the whole school’s heard the rumor by now.” “Yeah, I wasn’t gonna say anything…” You both exchanged faint giggles.

She grabbed a few paper towels to wipe her hands as she walked to the sink right next to you. “What is it you’re struggling with?” Seeing her older brother go through so many girlfriends, she felt as if she’s seen a man’s sensitive side enough to get a feel for what they emotionally crave.

“I just…” You gripped onto your notebook that only had a few run down pages left then dropped it in the trash can beside your sink. “I’m having trouble trying to find the perfect way to apologize.” Your spirit physically sulked as you let your hands fall back to the sides of the sink.

“Well,” she intertwined her fingers as she explained with her experience, “you need to make it clear you take responsibility and acknowledge why it hurt him. Emphasize and empathize, you know?” She said with a nodding shrug.

“The thing is, he wants to hear specific things that I’m still clueless about.” You added. “Just speak from your heart.” Donna insisted. “But what if the words don't come out?” You began to bite your lip. “I have to do it at his party and I don't do well with crowds…”

“It's the thought that counts.” Donna smiled as she threw her paper towels away. “He’ll appreciate the effort no matter what you say. I'm sure of it. So even if he doesn’t take you back, at least you’ll leave off on good terms.”

Everything she was saying made you feel more comfortable and confident in yourself. You realized you needed to just say what feels right in that moment; trust what your instincts and heart tell you when you're under Bruce’s gaze.

The bell rang right after you joyfully thanked Donna for the advice. She wished you luck and you left the bathroom in a rush for your class, your mood seemingly much better.

Vance caught sight of you and raced through the hall to meet you halfway. He stopped once close enough to meeting in the middle, thinking you were going to as well. “Hey, (Y/n), I really need to talk to-” You walked right past him in a hurry. “Can’t talk right now, Vance, I got to get to class.”

You couldn’t afford any distractions as you focused on planning how you’d talk to Bruce. In fact, you were so focused that you didn’t even notice the sad and desperate expression on Vance’s face when he approached you. The love and longing mixing with frustration and pain in his blue eyes that watched you go.

~

Between munching on snacks and socializing, Bruce still felt an isolating hole in himself. He still didn’t feel like himself even as he tried to act like nothing was wrong with him at his party. God, would you linger like a ghost haunting over his back forever? He just wanted to feel like himself again. But it was impossible since he was without his other half. He hated that he felt incomplete without you, it was just pathetic.

“Oh my god, we totally demolished those Hornets!” Bruce’s friend exclaimed with a laugh, referring to the baseball game they won earlier that day. Bruce snickered along. “Yeah, but it was cool of them I guess to let their freshman players get more chances to play.” His friend gulped down his drink quickly before wiping his mouth. “But it cost them!”

Bruce just half-heartedly laughed along. Before his friend could add anything, the doorbell rang alerting everyone that another party guest had arrived. “I’ll get it!” Someone who was already near the door said above all the scattered chattering in the populated living room. Bruce watched around his friend as the person opened the door then nervously looked over their shoulder. “Uh… Bruce!” The person called out loudly enough that caught the attention of most people around, pausing their conversations.

Bruce raised a brow and gave his friend his drink to hold as he walked to the side to see who was at the door. And there you were, pale-faced and stiff as a board, standing in his front porch light.

He almost had to hold back a smirk. He knew you'd miss him once the thrill Vance gave you expired.

He knew you'd come back to him.

[dameronology]

when we were young (peter parker)

summary: you haven't seen peter parker for years. a chance meeting on a roof-top reminds you of your younger days.

warnings: angst, swearing

this is nwh spoiler free!! i haven't seen the film yet (2 days to go baybee) so no need to worry about that. also, there's a timeskip here so pete is aged up to his mid-20s. enjoy <3

- jazz xx

There was a picture of you and Peter Parker collecting dust in a box in your attic somewhere.

It had been taken on the day you graduated from Midtown High. He had a toothy grin, auburn eyes glinting in the bright auburn sun. Your smile was just as wide, but your eyes were a little more unforgiving. On the surface, the two of you looked like a happy high-school couple. What the photo hadn't captured was weeks of arguing; debates about college and what long distance would do to your relationship; long, gruelling fights about Peter's vigilante dreams and whether he would still have room for you in his life should he become the next Tony Stark. It was hard to know at a young age when someone was right for you, but man. You could have sworn Peter was the one. From the day you met him in freshman year, you just knew. That's why you were having such mature fights, even at your young age.

He was an integral part of your past and even more important part of your present - not to mention an intricate part of your future. You'd made plans as young as sophomore year, after all. He'd go to NYU and major in biomechanics and you'd go to London to study at your respective dream school.

Then Spiderman happened, and the Avengers, and suddenly you were barely seeing Peter when you lived blocks away from each other, let alone across the fucking world. Conversations about you future turned into arguments about his wellbeing, and before you knew it, your life had become a blur of missed dates waiting up for his I'm okay texts.

By graduation, you were barley holding it together.

By your first Christmas at college, you'd broken up.

Life went on, as it always does. You got your degree in London and chose to stay in England, building your career up from the bottom. You'd see Spiderman in the news and smile to yourself - he was still alive and kicking. Still doing exactly what he wanted to do.

You came to find that people didn't lie when they said that you'd always remember your first love. As you hit your twenties, your dating life became a blur of Tinder hook-ups and awkward dinners with mutual friends. There were a few relationships here and there but nothing ever compared to the connection you'd had with Peter. It was silly, really. To desperately search for the same things you'd felt when you were fifteen, sixteen, seventeen. You were a kid - a naive, stupid kid. Of course you were going to have grandiose dreams of a happy ever after with your childhood sweetheart. Who didn't?

One rainy Monday, you were sat in your office; the sky was grey - almost as grey as the morning news. The British government was being useless about something again, so you naturally paid no mind to it. That was hardly news anymore.

Your attention picked up when a familiar flash of blue-and-red appeared on the screen. It was just Spiderman...Spidermanning. Saving lives as usual.

You gave the tiny vigilante on the screen a little nod, before turning your eyes back to your computer screen. You switched to your Facebook tab when you heard it beep (not before checking your boss wasn't behind you).

You've been invited to an event - Midtown High School 5 year reunion.

Your brow furrowed - had it really been five years? Half a decade? It felt both longer and shorter than that.

You hadn't been back to New York in a while; it was your home, and you missed it. There had been a few whispers of head office openings at your company HQ in Manhattan and you'd been meaning to go and check them out. The timing was almost perfect.

Two days later, you emptied your savings account and booked a return flight to JFK. You'd see your parents on the Thursday that you arrived, go for your job interview at the HQ on Friday and on Saturday, you'd go to your reunion. You were feeling a nervous excitement - eager to see the friends you missed, but anxious to see the one person you longed for.

Saturday rolled by in a blur, and before you knew it, you were dressing yourself up and walking back into the halls of Midtown High. It hadn't changed that much in five years, if at all.

Every where you looked, you were reminded of your old relationship- the lockers side by side that had been your meeting place, the class photo where Peter had been holding your hand, the unisex bathroom where you'd spent way too many free periods together. It wasn't just a high-school; it was a time-capsule for one of the happiest times of your life. For a feeling you would never get back.

"You haven't aged a day."

"Ned!"

He was the first person you saw upon entering the decked-out gym and for that, you were grateful. Ned was smiling as always, barely looking a day over eighteen - even though he was an adult now, with his own successful IT company and an adorable one-year-old.

"Hey, stranger," you greeted him with a grin, pulling him into a tight hug. "God, you still look the same as the day you did when we graduated from this hell-hole."

"So do you! I mean...your hair's changed, but that's about it. And did you get taller?"

"I don't think so," you smiled. "Maybe you just got shorter."

"Oh my god, can that happen?"

"Generally speaking, no."

The sound of a third voice made you both turn your heads.

Your heart almost dropped when you saw Peter Parker. Not Spider-Man - it was Peter.

His hair was longer now, and a little more curly. He no longer dressed like a character from The Big Bang Theory - rather, he was wearing a suit. It fit him nicely (so nicely, that you couldn't not notice he'd been working out). He looked the same...but different.

"I'm going to go and refill my drink," Ned announced. Bastard.

You awkwardly waved Ned off, before turning back to your ex-boyfriend.

"Hey, Pete," you gave him a small smile.

"Hey," he grinned. "It's been what...five years now?"

Four years, nine months, and eleven days.

"Yeah, something like that."

"When did I last see you? It must have been Christmas of our first year at college."

December 12th, 2016. I'd come home for Christmas and we were supposed to be celebrating our four year anniversary. You ditched me for a Spiderman thing and I broke up with you instead.

"I think so!" you lied.

"You look amazing, by the way," he said. "London looks good on you."

"Thanks," you smiled - a gesture which he returned.

His brown eyes still creased the same way they used to - the same way they did in that graduation photo. They were a little more tired now, and his grin was more of a smile. He had stubble now too. Probably still couldn't grow a beard, though.

"I've been meaning to reach out," Peter admitted. "I went to Coney Island the other day and it made me think of you."

Coney Island. That's where you'd been for your first date. You were both fourteen years old - awkward freshman with awkward crushes on one another. Peter ate too much cotton candy and you overdosed on corndogs. There was a photo of that somewhere that you'd taken on your iPhone 4s.

"Man, that was a time," you grinned.

"I still can't eat cotton candy," he laughed. "I still think of you whenever I see corndogs."

"I think of you whenever I hear that one Train song," you shot back.

"Oh man - Drops of Jupiter," he recalled. "I haven't heard that one in years."

"It's still on some of my playlists," you admitted. "I guess it'll always have a special place in my heart."

Just like you.

"How long are you in town for?"

"Just til Monday," you replied. "I gotta get back for work."

"Of course," his face fell slightly. "You really made it big time, huh? You've done all the things you said you would."

"I guess I did."

Except for one thing - keep him.

Your head sometimes wondered off to an alternate reality - one where you hadn't broken up. Sometimes, Peter wasn't Spiderman so he'd come with you to London. Other times, he was, and you'd stay in New York and live out your Lois Lane/Clark Kent dreams.

The latter was your favourite. You had visions of him and you in a Brooklyn Brownstone - you would work at the New York alternative to your job in London, and Peter would be at Stark Industries. You'd meet on the subway after work - as you always had in high school - and then have dinner together. And every night when he came home, you'd sway in the kitchen, Drops of Jupiter playing quietly in the background. Peter would protect you from the bad guys, and you'd be his unsung hero with your constant support. His moral pillar when things became too much.

Nope. Now you weren't even Facebook friends.

"What about you?" you asked. "What are you up to these days?"

"I'm head of biomechanics at Stark Industries," Peter replied. "And I still have my night job."

"Looks like you got everything you wanted to as well," you smiled.

He gave you a nod, brain wondering off to his alternate timeline. It was safe to say it shared the same sentiment as yours.

"It's really good to see you," Peter said. "I mean that."

"Yeah, you as well-"

- you were cut off by his phone ringing. He pulled it from his pocket and let out a groan.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured. "Duty calls. I really wish we could catch up more."

You forced a smile. "Hey, it's fine."

Just like old times.

--

Later that night, after hours of drinking with M.J and Ned, you found yourself perched on the roof of your parents' apartment building.

You didn't know what possessed you to go up there. Even less what possessed you to dig out the Midtown Class of '16 hoodie that had once belonged to Peter.

Today's trip down memory lane had been bumpy. Catching up with old friends was great but being reminded of what you'd lost was bittersweet. It had become astoundingly clear that you hadn't quite let go of Peter. He still had a piece of your heart lying around, probably somewhere in one of his many, many missing backpacks. That sucked for you, because it meant you would never get it back. Maybe you didn't want it back.

Being back had also reaffirmed to you that returning to New York was the best decision for you - which was good, because you'd got a call an hour ago saying your transfer had been accepted. London was great, but everything you knew was back here. You didn't want your revived friendships with your high school friends to rely on you travelling across the world. This was home.

"What were we talking about earlier?"

You jumped at the sound of a familiar voice, turning around to see Peter.

"Hey, Spiderman," you smiled. "I think you were saying how good it was to see me."

Peter walked towards you, tugging off the mask. It brought you back to the days when you'd meet on this very roof-top in your senior year. You'd spend hours pondering on your fear of the future. Things hadn't been so scary after all.

"I'm sorry I had to leave," he said. Peter took a seat beside you, legs dangling off the edge of the roof. "I really was enjoying our conversation."

"How did you know I'd be here?"

"I didn't," he admitted. "I sometimes come here to think."

"Wow," you murmured. "Some things never change."

His eyes met yours and he smiled. "They really don't."

"I said earlier than I think about you when I hear that Train song," you began. "That was a lie. I mean...I do think of you when I hear it, but not just when I hear it. I think about what could have been, you know?"

"Is that why you're wearing my old hoodie?"

You let out a groan.

"Hey, I'm just teasing," Peter grinned. "I still have a pair of your earrings that you left in my bedroom when we were seventeen. I've moved like five times since and they've just come with me."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I think some part of me hoped that if I kept them, you would come back for them."

"I am coming back," you said. "To New York, I mean."

His eyes widened. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. It just felt like the right time," you replied. "I've missed New York-"

"- I've missed you," Peter cut you off. "I know it's been half a decade but I always wonder what could have been."

"Me too," you smiled. "Honestly, I thought you'd forgotten about me."

"Forgotten?" his eyebrows shot up. "I've been trying to fall out of love with you for five years. I kept telling myself that the version of you I loved didn't exist, and that you'd grown up, but then I saw you today and...I think I love every version of you. Wait, that was so cheesy-"

"- you haven't changed one bit, Peter Parker," you cut him off with a grin.

You placed a hand on the back of his head, fingers tangling in with the soft curls at the nape of his neck. He gave you another smile and you leant in. Your lips met halfway, a warm feeling of familiarity soaring through your body. It felt like coming home after the worst trip of your life; like finally working out the name of a song that you'd had stuck in your head for years.

Relief. A beautiful simplicity that hadn't existed since you were a naive teenager.

"I never stopped loving you either," you confessed, resting your forehead against his.

"I guess we should start making up for lost time."

[i-writes-things]

Field Trip? Really?

Natasha x Daughter!reader

Fluff, mama nat <3

request- Hello could you please read it is Natasha's daughter and she's going on a school trip to the avengers tower but nobody knows that Natasha is her mother @maveldc25

Warnings- mention of choking on water, one swear word, and mama nat <3

Extra Pairings::

Peter Parker x Romanoff!reader

Romanoff!reader x bestfriend

Not my gif* found on pinterest

F/N = Friends name

You walked into class and, the second you sat down and read the board you almost had a heart attack:

SCHOOL FLEID TRIP TODAY!! AVENGERS TOWER :)

You half choked on the water you had sipped from your water bottle, earning a few glances from classmates to see if you were ok.

Then all of a sudden you remembered a few weeks ago

---

*Flashback to two weeks ago*

"Ok, Class you can all pack up a little early, today... On that note, In two weeks we will be going on a field trip to, The Avengers Tower, the Avengers will be there to give us, well a little tour!" Your teacher exclaimed, clearly a bit excited herself.

You on the other hand, you were in shock.

COMPLETE SHOCK.

----

Peter stopped you in the hall after school was over

"Y/n!" He shouted your name

You turned around and smiled at him "yes?"

He looked worried "Well what are you gonna do?"

"Don't know." Your smile drops trying to think of things to do "You know we aren't in the same block, right? Just the same class"

"Yeah, I know." He rolled his eyes.

"So then you have nothing to worry about." You smirk at him, walking away and trying to rack your brain of a way to get out of it.

It's not like you could stay home, AT THE AVENGERS TOWER..!!

----

The bus ride was thankfully not too long, but the second the Tower was in view, you got a bit nervous of the possibilities, you tried remembering that they don't know, but if anyone could blow it for you, it was ALL OF THE AVENGERS

Sadly they would all be there...

---

Your class was jumbled in a group near the front doors, each group in front of you leaving one by one, and seeing Peter's class walk off with Steve Rogers, Ned admiring him and flash taking multiple pictures of Mr. America.

The group in front of you left with Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes, you remember the night before them arguing about having to be some sort of team the next day. They never shared the specifics.

You hadn't seen Natasha and hoped to God that she wasn't leading your group.

Then out walked, none other than..

The Natasha Romanoff herself, and you hid behind the group, trying to not be seen.

----

Your teacher on the other hand, moved towards her "Hello! I am Eliza, this classes main teacher! It's so nice to meet you! The whole class is so excited to learn all about the Avengers Tower and everyone inside it!!" Your teacher exclaimed happily shaking her hand

Natasha quickly scanned the group, smiling at them, completely missing you.

"Yes, very nice to meet all of you!" She gave a small smile

"Well, we should get started." She turned on her heel and walked off towards the elevators as you all quickly followed

You were somehow squished two kids away from your mom on the elevator, thankfully the two kids where rather tall.

Blocking you from Natasha's view.

----

You had forgotten how cool the Tower really was..

The lab had totally be redone since you last went in, and all the floors you went on seemed totally different, then what you remembered..

----

Natasha, After maybe 20 minutes had finally spotted you talking to one of your friends in the class, while everyone was walking around the Lab.

You looked up from Tony's latest invention in progress and stared right into your mother's eyes, from across the room, and she was smiling at you. The second you noticed who you were looking at, you looked away and walked over to rest of the group, looking at one of The IronMan suits, with your friend, now by your side.

"Alright everyone, we should be moving on.." Your mom said looking over your classmates and landing on you, as voices exclaimed how cool Tony Stark is..

She smiles to herself as everyone lines up, you reminded her of how you were when you first got to the Tower, so shy and unwilling to keep eye contact for very long, your nerves use to keep you from it.

You get pulled to the front, as your friend wanted to stand closer to ✨The Black Widow ✨

It was stupid, that just because no one knew that Natasha Romanoff was your mom, you were nervous. It would have been better if you were in the back, but your friend would have insisted on standing in the front.

----

You were now in one of the many common rooms, the one that not everyone used very much, you were walking with your friend looking at the all the group photos of the Avengers on the wall with dates, you moved away from your friend to look for the year you came to the Tower, almost 6 years ago...

You found it and smiled to yourself remembering where you stood for the photo.

Right next to Natasha, you remembered hugging her side and when she laughed, you smiled just slightly and the photo was taken..

You weren't in the photo on the wall, but you remember they took two photos, you were only in one.

---

"Hey! Everybody gather round. Gather Round!" Your teacher clapped her hands and we all took seats, facing the wall of the pictures, either on the ground or if you were lucky, which you weren't, some people got to sit on the couch.

"There all yours.." Your teacher smiled at Miss Romanoff

"Thank you.. As you all could see we have dates on all our yearly photos,"

She glanced at you

"we have a few copies of each that everyone can chose one and take it home, at the end!" She slowly continued, after the few claps died down from your fascinated teacher

"My personal favorite is.." She points to a photo in the middle of the wall

You started to get nervous again

"this one.." She smiled softly and glanced at you again before looking at the rest of the group of happy faces

She was pointing at the photo, they had taken almost 6 years ago...

You never knew that.

You never knew she had a favorite.

You never knew you were her favorite.

You smiled genuinely to yourself, well to yourself and Natasha saw you as she was helping your teacher hand out photos

You were nervous again, but..

You were happy. <3

---

Natasha took your whole class to the Tower's Gym, exclusively showing you all where The Tony Stark worked out.

It was cool seeing it, like you weren't in there yesterday, kicking Mr. America's ass

----

Now that the day was coming to a close, Natasha took your class back down the elevator to the lobby.

When you all got in the elevator, you stood right next to Natasha, your friend right next to you looking at the wall

"F/N?" You whispered

They looked over at you, and gave a small smile

"Wanna switch spots?" There face lit up with joy and nodded

You both moved and you looked over at your friend smiling excitedly to themselves.

You smiled at the scene.

----

After getting off the elevator, your friend told you every little detail about what happened very excitedly...

"EVERYONE LINE UP" Your teacher shouted at you all

"WAIT WAIT-" Everyone's jaw dropped

You looked over and saw that...

Tony Stark had walked out into the lobby, and a few kids from all the different classes were taking photos of him

"Before you go.." He swooshed his hand to the side and behind him was a fancy box filled with pens that had the "Stark" logo on them

Multiple kids ran up, as everyone, besides yourself, followed.

Tony noticed you weren't in the messy line for a pen, then did a double take and scrunched up his face

You gave a small wave

He understood immediately and shot you some hand guns

Natasha saw the whole thing and was biting the inside of her cheek trying to not laugh.

Your friend came back showing you the pen, admiring it fully..

You were glad your friend as least wasn't stressed out by this outing.

----

Once back at school, everyone was talking happily with each other, wearing their backpacks waiting for the final bell

*DING*

You said a 'goodbye' to your friend, and they thanked you for the elevator ride, saying you were a good friend.

-----

You pushed open the heavy door to the outside, the light blinding you for a split second, as you walked towards the familiar black tinted car

You opened the door and sat down

"Hey mama.." You closed the door

"Hey bub, how was your day?" She questioned you oddly, starting the car

"It was good, um it was really fun." You changed your answer after registering what she had asked

"It was, really fun.." You look down at your hands and hesitated but finally said

"I never knew that was your favorite photo."

Your mother smiled "It is.. The one with you, I mean.." She said checking to make sure no cars were coming to make a right at the light

You smiled again, this time out the window at the passing trees..

Natasha looked over at you at the red light and smiled to herself, leaning over to kiss your head

"Love you, Y/n/n."

"Love you, mama."



[rayofsunas]

s/o with loud neighbors.

A/n: ahhh, imagining these boys, especially razor, in a modern setting is so hard BYE. happy friday everyone! <3

Summary: s/o can’t sleep because their neighbors are being loud (arguing, etc.). they haven’t been sleeping well because of it, and the boys are worried about them.

Characters: aether, albedo, razor, scaramouche, xiao

Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing, modern au!, aged up characters (18+)

Word count: 2.1k

aether

he's heard the arguing between your neighbors for months now, and he hates it. he was worried after the very first time he'd heard the two screaming males one morning.

you explained this always happened when they went out to collect mail from their respective mailboxes on the daily mail came and they just happened to meet on accident.

from your understanding, their arguing had been happening long before you even moved in. to say the least they hated each other's guts. you could say you felt the same for the pair.

aether knows you have to study, and he's witnessed you countless amounts of times just put everything back in your school bag and flop on your bed out of annoyance and irritancy.

cause how can anyone study for important exams or do homework when two idiots are yelling at one another from their respective doors? yeah, no one.

and not to mention sleeping archons. how are you expected to sleep when they're yelling 24/7?? exactly, you CAN'T

he offers for you to stay with him instead of letting the worry fester within him any longer! he blurts it out one afternoon over bubble tea lol.

"you can always stay with me! i have more than enough space in my apartment, and tons of good snacks! plus, you can use my switch when you get bored!"

"this isn't supposed to be a fun slumber party, babe! i have tons of school work."

ah yes, school, ew. without a doubt, you don't want to impose on your boyfriend space and privacy, but this living situation has grown intolerable.

so, you take up his offer and move in with him temporarily, at least until summer starts and you don't have school to worry about.

aether is such a fun roommate! he may not be the cleanest, but his apartment isn't the messiest either.

plus, being around him almost 24/7 is awesome :) he's such a kindhearted fun guy, and he lifts your spirits.

albedo

he doesn't say anything for the longest time tbh. but he recognizes the amount of sleep you seemed to have lost ever since you moved into your new apartment...

he assumed it was just exhaustion from the move. after all, carrying heavy boxes up and down the huge flight of stairs was no easy task, and then packing for days afterward? yes, he assumed the exhaustion got to you like any normal person.

but he didn't realize it was your neighbors keeping you up and adding to the exhaustion.

he's not clueless, but he assumes that if you truly wanted help you would ask!

right? wrong.

why should all of your issues be your boyfriend's burden? especially this, something so insignificant that will probably go away if the right person complains to your ignorant landlord. that is your thought process.

but after weeks of this happening, he decides to bring it up as soon as he sees you barely able to carry your body weight from the exhaustion.

"would you like me to say something to them?"

"don't worry, it's fine." "are you sure?" "yep."

once again, no.

albedo isn't the one for confrontation, but he'd do anything to see you healthy and happy. so, taking this to the neighbors it is then! even if you say you're fine. he's grown tired and more so, worried to see you sluggishly move around your apartment whenever he comes over.

at first, after speaking to them they don't care for what he has to say, rudely so. he realized that when they hurriedly apologized before slamming the door in his face, and no later than two days after, begin being loud again...

so he offers for you to stay with him... but-

"not all of us got a full ride to a nerdy, science college and sleep in a luxurious dorm."

yes, he nearly forgot. his college wouldn't allow you to spend the night with him. you two don't even go to the same college, so that's way out of the question. unless...

"albedo, are you sure your roommate isn't here?"

"yes, xingqiu is with his friend this week." :) aka chongyun

"i'm not so sure about sneaking in here- what if we get caught?"

"we won't. just rest, love."

all pretty boy wants is for you to get a good nights rest <3 risking his time at this prestigious school is SO worth it.

razor

he doesn't want to see you upset! like all of these boys.

but, protecting you come instinctively.

sure he's not a wild animal, he's your overly loving, protective boyfriend! but, like i said, he just wants to protect you.

if you complain about your neighbors being too loud or even if you don't, razor knows the situation will only worsen from here. he knows people like that never change.

he decides to take immediate action, to get you safely out of there.

without a doubt in his mind, he knows he's doing what's best for you, even if it's something so minor.

"you, come stay with me?" he asked one evening after pacing around your small apartment, nerves flowing through his body.

the yelling and stomping upstairs only seemed to worsen now that he was here. or maybe that was his anxious heart beating rapidly, he wasn't sure. but whatever it was, he didn't like it, you weren't safe here!

"your place is too deep in the woods... don't worry! i'll be alright here-"

"no! that's not a problem, come." he doesn't give you enough time to even argue about this and he's already booking you two out of the door, shocking you when he snatched a large black tote of yours off of the floor by the door. you noticed various white cables and something lacey - your underwear you assumed - peeking out.

"when did you grab all of this stuff?"

"no time to speak. must get away."

"r-razor!"

he was already prepared to say the least.

you'd have everything you needed at his place, he always made sure of it, just in case.

and even if he did manage to grab some things from your own home, he was definitely prepared for the possibility he missed something!

clothes, hygiene products, your favorite snacks, he has it all, despite living in the middle of basically nowhere (if this is in a modern setting, i know razor would live in a log cabin or sum in the woods BYE)

razor knows you're in good hands, with him, safe in the quiet forest. and you'll be able to catch some z's for sure :)

scaramouche

he's not tolerating this shit at all, BYE.

these dumb college kids and their stupid ass parties. he despised them. absolutely nothing is stopping him from going over to their apartment, after what was supposed to be a chill evening, and pounding on their door.

you definitely can't stop him, and you're not so sure you want to... they deserve whatever comes their way! and whatever words scaramouche has for them, you hope it's enough to help them understand that they can't party every night, for hours on end. they have other neighbors, and the apartment walls are far too thin for you not to hear.

all that group of three college students does is keep you up all night with their incessant partying and then hours later after they can't take the alcohol anymore, wander drunkenly down your hall for even longer, slumping and banging against the thin walls.

you figured scaramouche was going easy on them since they seemed to not care about his complaints, but maybe he wasn't and they were just ignorant... you never knew scaramouche to go easy on those kids, so maybe they grew some balls.

he didn't return defeated, but he definitely returned some type of way because he looked more irritated than when you watched him leave your apartment.

"i keep telling you, brat. those idiots are ignorant. just come live with me."

sure, his apartment was extremely nice, and he for sure didn't have any nosy, loud, or ignorant neighbors to worry about.

it sat high in the clouds in the upper city, practically a penthouse. scaramouche's job paid well, so he could more than afford it.

but, moving in with your significant other was a huge step. and you weren't so sure you could afford to pay rent and utility bills at his place, especially since it was so expensive... you remember being there when he signed the contracts for the place, and you had seen lots of zero's at the end of the check...

and sure, he was wealthy, he could more than afford both the rent and utility bills, all you had to do was give him the green light to move in and it would all work out. but, you didn't want to depend on him, like some kind of leech.

"i'm waiting for marriage." you joked.

"we're practically married," he argued.

you weren't so sure you caught that proclamation. "what was that?"

"nothing."

let's just say, your boyfriend is worried about you, for many reasons. even if he doesn't show it like other significant others.

one, you live on the worst side of town, where all the sleezebags and criminals roam at night. this place was less than safe, in his mind although you don't see it.

secondly, he's caught those drunken bastards attempting to get into your apartment one night. he'd never told you as to not scare you, but thankfully he'd been there, even if they did stutter they mistook your apartment for theirs... he just wasn't buying it.

and lastly, of course, he was worried about your health. if you never got any sleep because of those idiots, then your health would surely decline and how could you perform daily tasks?

so, if you won't move in with him, nothing is also stopping him from dragging you out of your apartment, with an overnight bag in his other hand.

he's taking you to his place where you can get a good night's rest, away from those annoying idiots.

xiao

he knows you've been working hard lately, he sees it too. so, why can't your neighbors just leave you alone? y/n this, y/n that. they always have something to complain or ask about. favors they call it. hmph, yeah right.

he just wants you to rest for crying out loud!!

"give it a break." he always tells you.

he doesn't mind you helping them, of course not! he has the tendency to look after those who need help too, but this is entirely different.

your neighbors are constant, and at this point are taking advantage of your huge heart.

you see those kids always being passed off from aunt to cousin, to neighbor, to babysitter... while their parents leave, party, and get drunk.

you happily decided to become their babysitter, without pay, to save them seeing a new face every week. they deserved routine and a familiar face, not surprises or fear their babysitter wouldn't show.

xiao comes concludes that it's not acceptable. even if you're doing those kids a favor.

"you need a break." xiao demands. but you don't seem to listen, not when it comes to this. breaks are an illness to you, it seems. especially when those sweet children are involved.

so, since you won't dare leave those kids with another babysitter, xiao takes one of your days off and decides to pamper you.

he'll get you all the sweets he knows you love, and he's taking you out for a nice dinner; you're not leaving the restaurant until you finish your entire plate, he's going to make sure of that.

xiao will run the nicest bath for you and will leave you to the serenity unless you ask him to join you. if not, he's going to find some show, and you two will binge it. he makes sure to find one he knows you'll fall asleep too :) lol

and he'll even babysit the kids while you sleep in the next morning. they know of him, xiao has been in their presence a handful of times, so they're familiar with him.

"y/n is having a day off today. so i will watch you. do kids still like playing outside?" he'd ask as he gestures around the small living room, where a tablet, tv, and computer were among the many electronics.

xiao can't lie. he isn't particularly fond of children... but guess what, he does it for you. only for you.

so you can rest, and catch a break for once.

he's also having a word with those so-called parents...

7.2.21, rayofsunas

[bimsha]

Hi! Good Day! How're u? Hope u'r doing all fine and awesome!

Do you accept request? ur amazing in writing..so if you do can I request some baji and childhood friend turned lover? Like a very calm reader (but is a karate champion) always bicker with a "complaint master Baji" with her blunt and honest answers and opinions. They only realized they like each other at senior high. (Bali is alive. 😭🙏 PLEASE)

Only if you do this kind of stuffs.. 😅 Thank you so much tho!

And just wanna let you know that you are doing great! keep going!

Request type: Prompts requests

Fandom : Tokyo Revengers

Character : Baji Keisuke x fem!reader

Note: Thank you so much for the request!! This ask made my day so much better <33 I'm doing fine and hope you're doing fine too! I put the request under the prompt category. Hope you like it!!! Thanks again for this motivational boost <3

TW : Swearing, mentions of hospitals

Tags: Fluff, kisses, best friends to lovers, Prom dates, sharing an apartment

Word count : 2.9k

Baji shuffles through the boxes in the living room, trying to figure out which contained his shirts. He switches from one to the other, perfume bottles, cups and utensils clutter the floor. You sigh from the kitchen where you’re still making breakfast, the pancakes sizzle on the oily pan. “Did you find it?” You call out. 

“It’s nowhere to be found” He says, walking into the kitchen with only his pants.

“Are you sure you packed it?”

You two had moved in together just last week. There were boxes of clothes, photos that needed unboxing scattered around your new apartment. Baji walks to you and looks over your shoulder at the golden brown pancakes. “I packed it” He says, dropping his chin to the crook of your neck, his strong arms wrapping around your waist. 

You enjoy the warmth, “Then where are they?”

“Wish I knew” He mumbles, kissing your ear. 

You turn off the hotplate and place the pancake on the plate you’d laid out before. You calmly turn, Baji doesn’t pull away, he just stares when you place your arms on his cheeks with a sweet smile, “Didn’t you unpack your shirts yesterday?”

Realisation dawning upon his face was almost comical. He looks at you with cheeks tinted red, “Holy shit” He says, picking you up and twirling in the kitchen. “I did!” He says placing you down carefully and racing to the bedroom. 

You watch, amused. “Be careful, the last stair-” A sudden crash stops you. 

“Ow” He cries out and the footsteps continue. 

“The last stair is kind of slippery” You say to the solitary kitchen not bothering to hide your smile. This man never changes.

You met him years ago — twelve years ago, when you both were just eight years old. He was the black haired wild boy who practised in the dojo trying to defeat his friend Mikey. You, the newbie who wanted to learn Karate with the dream to be a champion. When the master took you in that day, there were only two boys inside. The blonde haired kid with the smug grin, and this wild black haired kid, looking at you with his eyes wide and inquisitive.

Master chased the two away, asking them to continue with their practice while he took you to the practise room, starting with the fundamentals. After that day, Baji and you saw each other almost everyday in the dojo. It was almost as if this kid never went home. It was around this time he decided to talk to you. You could never forget the way he shyly approached you, though he was trying hard to fight the blush, pink dust on his cheeks. “I saw you at school!” He announced, “We can walk to the dojo together from tomorrow if you want!” It was like he was reciting a military pledge.

Manjiro was there behind Baji rolling on the floor laughing. You looked at him and nodded, “Okay”

“See?” He said, turning to his friend. Childish pride evident in his eyes. “I can talk to girls just fine” He turned to you, “Right?”

“You’re blushing” You pointed out and Mikey was again on the floor laughing. Baji was crimson and you liked that now you had a friend to walk to the dojo. You won’t feel alone. 

— 

Baji walks into the kitchen wearing a navy blue shirt, the sleeves rolled to his elbow. He was working with Chifuyu and Kazutora at their own pet shop. You had your own dojo now and was popular around the area for your lessons. “I have news” He says, rounding the kitchen counter and standing opposite of you. He leans forward to brush his lips over yours as he dramatically whispers. “I can’t find a good tie”

You bump your forehead against his. “Show me the ones you’ve chosen”

He brings out three, “That one’s looks like you’re going out to murder someone” You say, pointing at the one he’s holding out. 

Baji blinks, “And this?”

“That looks actually good”

“Why do you sound surprised?” He asks, putting it on. He had just recently learned how to tie it and had taken great pride in that accomplishment. 

“You’re not a very fashionable person” You reply, bringing the pancakes to the table and kicking away a random box that blocks the way. 

“I am immaculate when it comes to fashion” He says, sitting across from you, stacking his plate with fresh, steaming pancakes. 

“Baji” You say with a laugh, “You thought dressing like a neon traffic light to our highschool prom was classic”

Baji stops pouring chocolate sauce and stares, “And it was!” He says, “We’re here because of that”

And you couldn’t actually blame him. It was true. 

—

You two went to the same middle school and then, the same highschool. Many people mistook you two for a couple but you two were actually good friends. He came for every single match you attended, when you were taking the trophy in the Karate championships, he was there in the crowd, cheering the loudest. You two accompanied each other to the dojo, helping each other to improve. And at some point in life, having him by your side became natural. Calling him after a rough night when you needed someone was second nature. 

So, that night when he said he asked this girl out, you were happy for him. You ignored the tiny sting in your heart because you didn’t have a name for this feeling. You couldn’t be jealous without knowing you have fallen for him. “So, how was it?” You asked when you two were hanging out after school. It was a hot summer day, the sky a clear blue. The popsicles in your hands were melting, the juicy liquid sticking to your palms. 

Baji didn’t jump out with all the details. He just shrugged, “It just doesn’t feel right” He said, tossing the wooden stick to a trash can. “I can’t even speak two sentences without messing up, she’s probably getting sick of me”

You blinked, “Baji, are you okay?”

Baji didn’t grin and said yes, he asked to stay over at your place. His mom worked late, and he was alone at his house most of the time. You said, yes. And that day, under the propped blankets on the couch, staring at the TV, you talked with him for more than two hours. The relationship was toxic, you both knew. And you saw the realisation dawn upon him, he shook his head with a dry laugh, “No wonder I have been single all these years” He said, there was no sarcasm, just pain. “I can’t even talk to girls”

“You talk to me pretty well” You blurted out, “You’re good, man. She’s just not the one, that’s all”

Baji stared at you for a long second that day. Both of you, seniors in high school, had been through thick and thin together. He smiled, “Thank you”

You punched his arm playfully, “Anytime”

It was after that Baji broke up with her and just like other years, you two decided to go to the prom together. You were waiting outside the school gate waiting for him to arrive and wondered why he was running late. And there he came, glistening like a star, literally. 

His blazer was bright red and it literally glowed. His tie was neon green. 

He was a walking traffic light!

You stared at this horrendous display of fashion. “Did you fall into a neon-colored paint basket?”

Baji took full offence in that, “Hell, no! This is not that bad?” Even Baji seemed to know this was beyond bad, it was terrifying. 

“Baji, darling, baby, sweetheart, what the fuck?”

It was not rare for you two to call each other using nicknames. It was like something you two had gotten used to all the time. Now thinking back at it, the signs were all there, you two were too dense to recognise all the clues, how you two were attracted to each other. Baji jutted out his bottom lip, looking down at himself. “But Remi said this looked stunning. He was the one who send them to me”

You stared, “Baji, that’s your ex”

Baji blinked, “Ohh” He said, clapping his hands together, “So, she wants me to be humiliated in the prom”

You stared at this dense idiot. He might be a tough person, might have taken down many a gangs with his friends in Toman but when it came to girls, he had a heart of glass. He couldn’t talk to one of them without tripping on his words. Be his ex or not, when someone asked him a favour he couldn’t say no. So just like that, he just wore it. Instead of being angry, you found laughter bubbling out your throat. 

“Don’t laugh” He warned, pursing his lips to stop it himself. You burst out laughing and ended up snorting pretty badly. After a solid two minutes, you were in front of him, panting, wiping the corner of your eyes. 

“Jesus Christ” You said, walking up to him and planting your hands on his cheeks with this sudden realisation of how much you adored this bloody idiot. “I can kiss you right now”

Baji blinked, he didn’t flush. His face was serious when he said, “I wouldn’t say no”

You huffed, flushing when the words registered in your brain. You were calm and collected but boy, Baji knew what strings to pull to make you fluster. “Shut up”

He didn’t. “I’m serious. I really can”

“You horrendous fashion disaster” You said, trying to change the topic, “We have issues to solve right now” You pulled on his blazer and thank heavens he was wearing a normal black dress shirt underneath it. 

“What are you doing?” He asked, when you pulled out his tie. “I said kiss, not sex” he reasoned when you undid the first two buttons and rolled up his sleeves. 

“Shut up” You growled, “I’m gonna kick your ass if you don’t”

“Yes ma’am” He said, making a zipping motion as you took out a hair tie and pulled his locks into a ponytail dabbing a little foundation under his eyes. 

You placed your hands on your hips and took a step back, admiring. “Nice”

“Do I look like a knight in shining armour?” He asked, raising his brow suggestively. 

You shrugged, “Not really, at least you don’t look like a traffic light now”

“Mean!” He bemoaned following you to the lockers as you stuffed the coat and the tie inside it. 

“Are you keeping that?”

You smiled closing the locker door. “I  am going to send these to a certain bitch queen next monday”

Baji leaned against the locker crossing his arms, “Times like this I wonder why I didn’t ask you out, you know?”

You shrugged, “I wonder that too” You turned and walked towards the stadium, Baji running after you asking you out and asking whether you’re serious. And that night, you knew he was serious when he pulled you into a kiss on the dance floor, and he knew you were serious when you kissed back, cliche perhaps. But it did make you question why you didn't kiss him earlier, why didn’t you just realise how much you wanted him to be yours. 

—

Baji walks with you to the kitchen and helps you with the dishes. Your shoulder brushing in his firm ones as you worked. “How’s work?” He asks. 

“There’s this kid” You say, wiping the plates. “He reminds me a lot of you when you were young”

“Wild and free and a bit dumb” You say, shrugging. 

“Hey!” He complains, reaching to the towel to dry his hands. “I’m not dumb” He pauses, “Or maybe a bit, for not realising all that sexual tension between us I mean”

“Then I’m dumb too” You smile. “But a bit less than you”

He grins, planting a kiss on the tip of your nose as he walks out of the kitchen. You shake your head and reach the room to get ready. When you’re back in the living room, Baji is still there, “Do you think we should adopt a dog?”

You look around you, “After we learn to take care of ourselves?”

Baji grins, “Then next week?”

You nods, “Next week after we put away all the boxes”

—

When that day a call came from Mikey, you were inside the house, looking at the rain outside while practising for your next match. You answered it and didn’t expect to hear the strain in his voice, his collected tone broken as he spoke, “Baji is in the ICU, come quick”

Those few words closed down the rest of the world for you. You stared, your phone in your hand, Mikey was saying something, you didn’t understand. He kept saying your name, it was barely a whisper against the storm brewing in your mind. You threw your phone in your pocket and ran to the door. Your mom’s voice asking what happened was just a background note. You muttered something and dashed out of the house. Just in your t-shirt and shorts to protect you against the rain. You didn’t notice you were trembling, you didn’t notice the tears.��

His voice, his kind smile, his eyes. Everything about him flashed like a movie in front of your eyes. You narrowly dodged a car crossing the road and when you reached the hospital, drenched in water, the clothes sticking to your skin, everyone was watching you in surprise. You yelled something to the receptionist and made your way towards the ICU. Outside the room were members of Toman, his friends, and the people who had been with him. Mikey stood upon seeing you, “Y/n?”

Your eyes were transfixed upon the glass in front of you, his sleeping figure inside, machines hooked into him from all the sides, all beeping, humming and pulsing in colours. “Y/n” He tried again. 

“What the fuck happened?” 

Mikey averted his gaze, not answering. You sunk against the wall and waited. Chanting, praying in your mind he would wake up. He must wake up. There were many things you wanted to do with him. 

You vaguely remembered Emma coming with a towel and trying to wipe the water in your body. Someone sat beside you half the night, Draken probably. But you were mute to the affection and when the next day the doors opened allowing you to go in, when you saw him sitting on the bed looking at the nurses who were advising him to be careful, a great weight was lifted. 

The two nurses walked out with their files with a smile to you. You slammed the door behind you and walked up to him and you fist hovering in front of his face. “I’ll give you ten seconds, tell me a reason not to punch you right now”

Baji grinned, “I’m alive?”

You groaned, crouching beside the bed, “What the fuck Baji” You remember saying. You remember breaking down so suddenly that you were even surprised by your choked sobs. 

“Hey, hey baby come here” His soft voice said, coaxing you to his arms. “I’m fine, I won’t do this again, I promise.”

You sniffed, pulling away, “You better keep that”

Baji nodded taking you in. His eyes shifting to your crumpled clothes, dry after the long night. Your messy hair, and your mismatched slippers. “You look like a truck ran over you”

“You are in no position to joke”

“I didn’t die” 

“Do you know how worried I was?” 

“I wouldn’t die before I say I love you” He said, taking your hands in his. Rubbing your skin with his thumbs. “I wouldn’t die before we marry and have kids and have a long life” He grinned, “We’re gonna be an old couple like in fairy tales”

You shook your head, “We have to go on a proper date before all that”

“We will” 

You looked around the room with all the machines with your eyebrow raised, “After I’m outta here of course”

“Don’t do this ever again, it’s not a threat, it’s a warning”

“Yes ma’am” He said, leaning forward and bopping your nose. “It’s a promise just as I said”

---

Baji hurries to the door and picks up his car keys. He had kept his promise since then. He had said I love you properly when you two were in the arcade, him holding a giant bear he won with a grin. 

He suggested you two should move in together when you two were drinking coffee celebrating yet another win. There were so many dreams left to fulfil but you two had all the time in the world. 

You follow him to the door, he turns. “So, you’re leaving later?”

“Yeah” You say, “Did you forget something?”

Baji grins, “Ah yes” He says, pulling you in. His arms around your waist as your lips meet into a heated kiss. He then kisses your forehead, “Good day, darling”

You smile “Thanks” You take his hand and place the wallet on top of palm. “You forgot this too”

He gives you a sheepish grin, “What will I do without you” He ruffles your hair and with one last kiss on your hand and walks out. You see him off and close the door and look at your cluttered apartment, waiting to help them with all the memories, all the moments you will have here. 

You walk to the room with one last thought. 

Maybe you should stop by the pet shop during lunch. You can pick a dog together.

Thanks again! Hope you like it! Have a good day/night <3

[pies-writes-and-more]

Haikyuu boys and wearing their clothes

Characters: Asahi Azumane, Kageyama Tobio, Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei, Bokuto Kotaro, Ushijima Wakatoshi, all with a gender-neutral reader :) (let me know if I missed a pronoun change or made something too femme! I very much so did not proof read this lol)

Warnings: Probably some swearing

A/N: This might be an overdone topic but I love it so much soooooo no regrets :) Let me know if you’d like more!

Asahi literally carries a picture of you in his phone case because he loves you in his clothes so much. He also has a pic of you wearing his hoodie as his wallpaper, and another printed pic of you framed in his room. I don’t care what size you are, his sweaters still manage to feel gigantic on you. It is like a hug FOREVER. 

He literally could not care less that his closet is slowly growing smaller because it means that he gets to see you in his clothes. Eventually, you’ll carry them all back to him in a bag so that he can make them smell like him again. But this is his favourite part, because now his favourite items smell like you. 

Daydreaming in class? Thinking of you wearing the sweater he has on. 

Gets smacked by a volleyball during practice? It’s cause the smell of you is still on his jersey. 

This man trips over his own two feet cause he’s trying to find you in the halls and you wave at him wearing his volleyball jacket ”So that’s where that went. I thought I forgot it somewhere...”

The two of you would trade sweaters before he went on any overnight trips and you’d send him snapchats of you cuddling with the sweater over a pillow or just you snuggled in bed with it on. He’d screenshot all of them, regardless of if you thought you looked good. 

He has an album of you. He will never delete them because they’re all precious.

His teammates have accidentally caught him looking through it before a game because it really de-stressed him if you weren’t able to attend the game in person (though you made it to most of them). Tanaka would burst into tears over not being able to have a significant other with cute photos of and would make Asahi promise to always treat you right. And Asahi would just stare at your photos with his cute little smile and obviously promise because his least favourite thing in the world is seeing you sad.

(Look at how cute he is omg)

Kageyama is confused when you ask to wear his sweater. You probably did it at a time that made some sort of sense. Like it was late at night and you were studying in the gym while Hinata and him were practicing. 

The cool breeze into the gym made you shiver a little and you noticed that his sweater was just sitting there on the ground so when he came over to grab some water you just looked up at him with your signature puppy eyes. “Can I wear it?”

“Why?”

“Oi, stupid head. They’re probably cold!” 

It would probably annoy him so much that Hinata figured it out before him. He’d kneel down and help you put it on, pulling it over your head and giving you a little smile cause you looked so damn cute in his sweater. 

But now that you’ve started wearing his things, he’s still very confused as to why you ask for them. “Should we go shopping?” He’d ask you randomly on a weekend when there was no volleyball practice. And you’d just stare at him because why would Kageyama want to stand somewhere that wasn’t a gym. “Aren’t you running out of clothes to wear or something?”

It would take a while and some conversations before you realized he was asking cause you had like 3 hoodies, a t-shirt, and some track pants in your room that were very much so his. “I just like having a piece of you with me,” you’d explain. He would have to think it over but he was very happy with this idea.

There’s only one shirt you’re not allowed to take and it’s this cute little graphic tee you got him for his birthday that has a nice drawing of a milk carton on it. He loves it. He will kill anyone that laughs at it. And no, you cannot wear it because if you’re wearing, what is he supposed to wear.

Sugawara and you regularly switch clothes because this man gives no fucks for your gender roles thank you very much. He shows up to practice one day wearing a dark pinkish basic, or some floral print shirt that you had in your closet and the boys are like “um Suga what are you wearing?”

And he’s probably just like “it’s call fashion, look it up.” (Like Suga sweetie, it’s just a shirt lol)

If you own any tighter pants like yoga pants or leggings? Suga has worn them because his legs and ass look great in them and he will strut around fully confident with that knowledge.

Honestly, he probably steals your sweaters more than you realize. You guys are baking at his house one day and you’ve made a mESS of your clothes and he’s just like oh it’s okay I’ll get you some new clothes.

And you’re expecting this cute little pj set that he has that might fit you or some comfy clothes that he’s lending you. No. He legitimately has some of your clothes and gives them to you and you’re just like.... “Suga I’ve been looking for this shirt for weeks. I even asked you about it.”

And he is suddenly deaf, little shithead.

He likes you in any clothes but they have to be his comfy clothes or he will set that shit on fire. Ennoshita once offered you his gloves because it was fricken cold out and you forgot yours at home and Suga literally threw him across the road and was like “hello angel I have gloves for you”.

You’re just like “um... Ennoshita are you okay?” Boy probably has a concussion and Suga’s just like “who’s Ennoshita?”

Tsukishima will kill you if he finds you raiding his closet. Like if he walks into his room when you two are supposed to be studying and you’re just casually picking out a sweater, he will throw you on the bed and tickle you until you call for mercy.

Will he offer his clothes to you if you’re in need of something? Most of the time, yes. But you have to ask. No stealing allowed in this household.

Except one night you stayed over and totally forgot a night shirt. Tsukishima is already like half asleep because he woke up way too early for practice that morning, so you just sneak into his drawers and pull out the first shirt you can. You can’t even see what it has on it cause it’s fucking dark. Then you crawl into bed with him, figuring you’ll accept your punishment for stealing tomorrow.

And when he wakes up, you best believe he was annoyed. First off, who plans to stay over and doesn’t bring a shirt? Stupid, can’t you remember anything? But then he realizes, you grabbed this cute little dino graphic shirt and his face is RED. Pasty boi so bright, he might as well be Hinata’s hair. And he’s desperately trying to get out of the bed and run to the bathroom before you wake up because holy fuck you’re PRECIOUS?

But all of his squirming just wakes you up and you see him all flustered, and just assume he’s mad and you’re like I’m so sorry I just didn’t have anything else and was stupid and forgot. And he just hits you (lovingly) on the head, mutters some sort of insult, and moves on.

From then on, that is your designated shirt. It’s a comfort item almost. He’ll only really wear it when he has to be away from town overnight, in which case he’ll wear it as a reminder of you (he won’t admit to it but you tried to take the shirt as a keepsake for while he was gone and he only had a heart attack. Tsukishima Kei does not believe in lucky charms. But he has yet to lose a game when he wears that shirt the night before).

Bokuto has been WAITING for you to wear something of his, but you haven’t yet. And it’s been stressful. He keeps trying to find a good excuse to see you in his clothes but you’re always too well-prepared.

“It’s kinda chilly out, Y/N, want my sweater??”

“I brought one, don’t worry!”

-.- *cue owl boi pouts*

And he doesn’t want you to wear something of his just because he asked. He wants to you want to wear his things. So he just waits. And pouts. And waits some more.

The day finally came when he was least expecting it. The gym that his game was in was freezing and you couldn’t imagine why. Most of the gyms they had played before in were pretty standard temperature but you were going to die if you stayed in the clothes you came in.

You had snuck onto the court while the boys were stretching, Akaashi smacking Bokuto in the head and interrupting his hype session to help him notice you.

“You wouldn’t happen to have a sweater with you, would you? It’s freezing!”

His eyes would widen. The day has finally arrived. He would finally get to see you in his clothes!!!!

But of course he has no sweater because he had not planned on needing one. Cue more sulking. Of course Akaashi comes over and offers his sweater and Bokuto almost bites his hand off.

“Well offer her your jacket then, idiot.” Akaashi just needs this man to hold off pouting till later. 

Bokuto’s jacket just looked so perfect on you and it was a nice way to keep warm. You cheered him on during the games and after some jaw-dropping move of his, he would turn to your direction and send you a kiss. Embarrassing? A little. But he was such a cutie, how could you deny his air kiss?

Wearing his clothes became more common after that and he will literally bring you his whole closet so you can pick your favourites.

Ushijima didn’t even wait for you to ask to give you his clothes. He probably folded up his hoodie or jacket for you before a game and placed it awkwardly on your lap or in your arms and you’re just like um... do you want me to put this away for you or?

“Would you wear it for me?” How can you say no??? His cheeks are just slightly going red and he’s avoiding your eyes a bit so of course you have to wear it.

Ushijima thinks you look so nice in his clothes and he really likes how happy you look when he asks you to wear something, so he keeps doing it. That and he knows that sometimes people ask you out during his matches and he likes knowing that they’ll recognize his school colours or his jersey number and at that moment, he will send a calculated glare in their direction. And they will run for the hills, never to bother you again :)

I feel like he’s accidentally shrunk his clothes in the wash before and he just keeps them in a small pile in his room so that you can wear them when you come over. He also buys you proper house slippers that you can wear around his home because he wants you to be as comfy as possible.

Sometimes when you guys are just standing around waiting for a game to start, or if you’re all done eating lunch, he’ll unzip his track jacket and open it up so you can stand there and hug him, and he’ll hug you back with his hands in the pockets so it’s like you’re in the jacket with him (Tendo has definitely zipped it up before and trapped you guys in an awkward hug like stance and he will continue to do this because he thinks it’s hilarious. Has definitely snapped pictures of it and sent it to Ushijima. Ushijima saved it because it was kinda cute).

[butterflyyeo]

drunk in love

pairing - yeosang x fem reader

genre - fluff, angst (?)

tw - lots of alcohol consumption, swearing

wc - 10k

side ships - seongjoong, yungi

a/n -- was meant to be angst but turned into fluff... im trying my best to get better at writing angst aaaah. but please enjoy this for now <3 thanks for letting me tag you @iminchaosnow !!

------------------------------------------- you had known kang yeosang for nearly two years now. two, dreadfully slow and exhausting years.it was your final year of high school when he transferred to your school, he was a close family friend of wooyoung's. his parents had spoken highly of the school, insisting that yeosang transfers in order to excel for his last year of schooling. as far as you were concerned, he had decent grades, but he preferred to spend his time hanging around the skatepark after dark, when everyone else had left.

and in all the two years you'd known him, you had never once had a full conversation with him, despite being in your group of friends. his side of the 'conversation' usually consisted of monotonous 'yeahs' and 'mhms'. wooyoung constantly assured you it was because he's shy and that he'd eventually open up. but you weren't convinced. you tried so hard for him to like you, but your efforts were fruitless. it was infuriating, feeling like you were constantly doing something wrong whenever you were around him.

you currently found yourself in the backseat of yeosang's car, wedged between a drunken yunho and mingi while a chaotic wooyoung was singing along to his chosen playlist. (though, it sounded more like wailing.)

you and the eight boys had all decided to take a gap year, spend every last cent you earned on adventure and alcohol to make lifelong memories, before your careers became a blockade in your friendship. but the year was coming to an end soon, it was already mid november. on the bright side, that meant your favourite holidays were just weeks away.

yeosang was always the designated driver. that was something you had noticed about him over the last few years. to be honest, you weren't sure just how he coped with a screeching wooyoung, because you sure as hell weren't dealing very well with yunho and mingi who were playing a very intense game of rock paper scissors to decide who would be crashing on the couch in your apartment.

"i win!" mingi cheered, waving his hands excitedly. "you're on the couch, man."

yunho frowned, "damn."

you laughed, "it's okay, yunho. you can share the bed with me if you'd like."

"hey! that's not fair y/n! you said i could this time." wooyoung whined from the front seat.

"sorry, woo. you know i keep my promises, but you're going back to your apartment. remember?" you tried to reason.

wooyoung looked as though someone had switched a lightbulb on behind his eyes, "oh yeah! i forgot."

the four of you burst into laughter, mainly caused by the alcohol and partially because of wooyoung's realisation. and still, yeosang didn't crack a smile, hands just gripping the steering wheel tighter as his knuckles turned white.

soon, you arrived outside your apartment block, quickly stepping out the car after yunho. wooyoung wound his window down and you poked your head in, attempting to hug him goodbye.

"bye woo!" you said, giggling at your faltered farewell.

"good night y/n, thanks for the drinks!" he shouted, exclaiming a bit too loudly next to your ear.

"thanks for the lift as always, yeosang!" you yelled, pulling away from wooyoung's tight hug.

he nodded, "no problem." before putting the window up and driving away.

you pouted, turning around to face the two boys. "i just don't understand what i'm doing wrong." you buried your face into your hands, "why doesn't he like me?" you groaned.

"y/n." mingi began, "its nearly 1am, its way too late for this 'why does yeosang hate me?' crap." he shook your shoulders, literally trying to shake some sense into you.

"yeah, mingi's right. we've had this discussion a thousand times." yunho said grasping your wrist and pulling you up the stairs, stumbling along the way. (because lets be real, stairs are difficult enough as it is, let alone when drunk.) "now, let us into your apartment so we can eat your food and crash on your couch!" he joked, nudging mingi in a playful manner.

you reached into your pocket and fumbled around with they key for a moment before unlocking the door. the boys practically pushed you inside and made a beeline for the fridge.

"help yourselves! i'm going to shower." you called, dragging yourself to your bedroom.

once you'd finished showering you went back to the living room to check on yunho and mingi. not so much to your surprise, they had fallen asleep on your couch already, cuddled up into each other. it was cute, even picture worthy to show their sober selves. you reached for your phone which typically lived in your pocket, though you began to panic when it wasn't there. hurrying around the apartment, you searched every possible nook and cranny for your phone, but it was nowhere to be found. you collapsed onto your bed, snuggling into the soft sheets, too tired to worry about your phone anymore and content with the assumption that you'd left it in yeosang's car.

shortly, your heavy eyes fell shut and you began to sleep away the tequila.

————————

the next morning you awoke to mingi and yunho's deep, hungover voices, discussing their plans for the next week.

you reluctantly pulled yourself out of bed and dawdled down the hallway.

"ah! there's our favourite karaoke partner!" yunho greeted, jokingly.

you laughed, "shh, don't let wooyoung hear you say that."

"she's right, man. he'd be so offended." mingi said, stretching out his sore limbs. "how are you feeling today, y/n?" he asked.

"not the worst hangover i've had. what about you guys? you're welcome to stay here as long as you'd like, until you feel better." you replied, knowing them well enough to know that they'd need at least a few painkillers and a good meal before they went home.

yunho chuckled, "i feel like crap, but nothing a sandwich and glass of water can't solve."

"i second that." mingi said, raising a hand.

"okay, well in that case, i'll go to the store and get something for breakfast. sound good?" you reasoned, running a hand through your hair. you loved these boys, and making them breakfast was just a nice way of showing you cared. drunk or not, they knew how to make you smile and laugh, which they loved to see.

"sounds amazing!" yunho said, breaking into a sincere smile.

you quickly changed out of your pyjamas and slipped some shoes on.

"i might be a bit longer, i need to stop by yeosang's. i think i left my phone in his car." you explained, picking your keys up from the kitchen counter. "see you guys soon! feel free to take a shower if you want." you said, waving goodbye and heading out the door.

"okay, bye y/n!" the boys called from behind you.

the first stop was yeosang's apartment, he only lived about ten minutes away with wooyoung and san, in the same building as jongho. both yunho and mingi lived on the other side of town, which is why they so often crashed at your place after parties. seonghwa and hongjoong were fortunate enough to live in a house, just outside town, they had actually been the hosts of last night's party.

it didn't take long to get there. you pushed open the lobby door and made your way over to the elevator, disappointed to see that it was out of order for maintenance. instead, you took the stairs and began spiralling upwards. less than a minute later you looked up, only to bump into the man you came looking for.

"oh, yeosang! i'm so sorry, i didn't mean to." you quickly apologised, worried about creating another reason for him to dislike you.

"it's fine." he shrugged.

you both began to talk again at the same time, "ah, sorry, you go."

"i was just gonna say, you left your phone in my car. actually, i was about to bring it back." he pulled your phone from the pocket of his jacket, handing it to you. as he did, your fingers brushed against his. he spun around suddenly and began to walk away, "i'll see you around."

he had left before you even had a chance to thank him. slightly confused and frustrated, you turned back around and traipsed down the stairs.

you gathered what you needed for a hearty breakfast at the local convenience store before heading home and spending the rest of the day in the enjoyable company of yunho and mingi.

yeosang had entered back into his apartment and sat down on the couch.

"back already?" wooyoung asked, rummaging through the fridge.

"she was coming to get her phone and i ran into her on the staircase."

wooyoung sighed, "when are you gonna stop hating her?"

"i don't hate her." yeosang said, not looking up from his phone.

"then why do you act like you do?"

yeosang pretended to not hear that question and continued to scroll through his phone. see, he'd rather not dwell on things that he couldn't understand.

————————

to fill up your weekdays during your gap year, you had picked up a job at a hotel in town as a receptionist. to your dismay, your boss had asked you to work night shift all week, which is how you found yourself here on thursday night, sitting alert and waiting for the slight chance that someone might check in at this time of night. it was a pretty fancy hotel, and the job payed well enough, so really, you had nothing to complain about.

the nights seemed to drag on for an eternity. to keep yourself busy, you often wasted time counting the cars that drove past, or tried to count the number of crystals that hung from the chandelier. so far, only a few people had checked in during your shift, having come from overseas and recently arriving at the airport. honestly, whenever someone walked through the front door, lugging a suitcase behind them, you got excited as it gave you something to do.

the clock was creeping up to 4am and you let out a quiet yawn, feeling drowsy as your body clock hadn't yet adjusted to the change of sleeping patterns on such short notice. taking a sip of water, you shook your head, trying to stay awake. your head suddenly jolted up at the sound of the front door opening.

a man stumbled forward, and you'd seen enough zombie movies to become instantly paranoid. you quickly pushed the thought out of your head, feeling ridiculous for even considering it. but as the man got closer, you could smell the cheap, potent alcohol lingering on his body.

he leant against the desk, peering down at you. "i need a room for the night."  he grumbled. "my stupid wife kicked me out." he said under his breath.

you forced a friendly smile, despite feeling uneasy, "of course! i just need you to fill in this form with some simple details." you said, sliding across a clipboard and a pen.

he huffed, picking up the pen and scribbling onto the sheet of paper before pushing it back to you. "can i go now?"

"just a moment, sir." you replied, eyes skimming over the form as you copied the information into the computer in front of you.

the man was growing impatient, stepping from foot to foot with his arms crossed.

"uh, sir, you missed a part of the form. could you please provide your phone number here." you pointed to the empty space on the sheet.

"for fucks sake." he muttered, "i don't have my phone on me and i don't know my phone number." he said, annoyedly tapping on the desk.

"i'm really sorry, sir, but—"

"can't you just find me a fucking room?" he snapped, hands balled into fists and slamming against the desk, making you jump in fright.

before you had time to try and reason with him, he continued to shout.

"you're as stupid as my wife! i'll just find a different fucking hotel." he yelled, swiping the clipboard and pen off the desk. "useless bitch." he mumbled as he kicked over a chair on his way out.

you chewed your bottom lip, trying to fight back the tears. with shaky hands, you picked up your phone and dialled the first place that came to mind. after a few rings, the phone answered.

"woo?" you croaked, trying hard to not cry.

"he's asleep. this is yeosang." he replied, evidently having just woken up by the sound of his voice.

"oh." you began, instantly feeling guilty for waking him up, "i'm sorry i didn't mean to disturb you."

"did you need something?" he asked.

"i just, i was..." you let out a sob, wiping at a tear falling from your eye.

this didn't go unnoticed by yeosang, "are you crying? what are you doing awake right now anyway?"

"i'm at work." you managed to choke out.

"at 4am?"

"i'm on night shift."

"why are you crying then?" he asked, feeling something slightly tug at his heart, but choosing to ignore it.

you began to ramble, "a man came in and he was really drunk and complaining about his wife and then he yelled at me because i asked him to give his phone number and—"

"i'm on my way." yeosang cut you off.

"what?"

"i'll be there in ten." with that, he hung up the phone.

exactly ten minutes later, you were sat in the passenger seat of yeosang's car. he was dressed in sweats, clearly having come straight from bed. you'd left a note on the desk, explaining to your coworker why you wouldn't be there when she arrived to take over your shift. a silence filled the car, and you felt the need to talk, but chose not to, worried about giving yeosang another reason to hate you.

once you arrived outside your apartment building, you were surprised that yeosang got out the car too and trailed closely behind you up the stairs to your apartment. when you reached the door you spun around to face him.

"thank you for bringing me home." you said, voice quiet and still rather shaken up.

"it's no problem. good night, y/n." he replied, sensing that you were still upset. he suddenly felt this overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around you tightly and not let go until you stopped crying. he wanted to protect you from every drunk idiot on the planet. he wanted to make you feel safe.

but instead, he watched as you closed the door behind you and locked it from inside.

————————

you arrived at work the next morning, instantly feeling more comfortable with cleaners, employees and people coming and going. immediately, you headed for your boss's office.

"good morning, sir. i just wanted to come and apologise for leaving my shift early last night. i can assure you it won't happen again." you said, feeling nervous as to what your boss might say.

he shook his head, "i should be the one apologising, a man came in this morning and spoke very sternly about the safety problems here. i realise now how stupid it was of me to make you work night shift, alone, at such a young age. we've hired security guards and have also made sure that two people will be on desk at all times. i'm sorry that you had to deal with that."

you were at a loss for words, you didn't think that there would be such drastic changes just from the once incident. "thank you so much." you replied.

"for now, take the rest of the day off. you'll only be working day shifts for next week and can return to doing night shifts whenever you feel ready to do so." your boss said, motioning for the door.

the rest of the day you spent in deep sleep, catching up on some much overdue rest.

———————

weeks passed and you found that work was much more enjoyable. you still hadn't returned to working night shifts, but at least now you had someone to run the front desk with you and keep you company.

this weekend, you were going to visit hongjoong and seonghwa. hongjoong was sick and so you decided to go help out since seonghwa couldn't always be there to look after him.

you knocked on their front door and was surprised to be greeted by san.

"good afternoon! come in." he gave you a hug before ushering you inside.

"what are you doing here?" you said, following him down the hall.

in the living room, you saw all eight of the boys gathered around a couch-ridden hongjoong.

"jongho was already here when me, yeosang and woo arrived." san explained.

"yeah, and then mingi and yunho turned up." wooyoung continued.

"y/n! i have never been more glad to see you! you gotta save me from them." hongjoong laughed, arms open, signalling for a hug.

you went over and embraced him in a hug, "good thing i brought an excessive amount of cookies." you said, placing the box of cookies on the coffee table next to the couch. the table was covered in empty mugs and bowls, you could tell seonghwa had been busy and hadn't had the chance to clean up. you opened up the box and handed him a cookie before offering them around to the rest of the boys.

"you're the best cook ever." mingi said, taking a big bite.

"i made you spaghetti last night!" yunho countered, feeling offended that his roommate didn't think he was the better cook. mingi just laughed and took another bite.

"jongho get off the counter, please." seonghwa said, coming through the front door. "don't be so comfortable, you were throwing up in my toilet like a month ago." he joked.

yeosang glanced your way, his eyebrows furrowed like he was contemplating something.

"lets head off and give these two some space." yunho said, dragging mingi behind him.

wooyoung stood up, "yeah, lets get going."

yeosang pulled his keys from his pocket, "okay, bye guys." he said, heading down the hallway.

"can we get some food on the way home?" you heard san call as they left.

"bye hongjoong! i hope you're feeling better soon." jongho said, "bye seonghwa, i promise i won't throw up in your toilet any time soon." he joked, leaving through the front door.

"seonghwa, how are you? don't forget to take some time for yourself as well." you frowned.

"i'm tired, but i'll be okay. i just gotta clean up and—"

"why don't you go rest a while? i can keep hongjoong company for a few hours." you reasoned, wanting to help as much as possible. there was nothing you hated more than seeing you friends in distress and upset.

he looked between hongjoong and yourself, "i couldn't."

hongjoong let out an audible huff, "hwa! will you just let her help please, she clearly wants to."

you grinned, "exactly, now go read or sleep or watch some tv or something." you said, gently pushing him towards their shared bedroom.

you spent the afternoon tidying up and talking with hongjoong. you managed to do all the dishes and put them away before scouring their kitchen, deciding on what you could use for dinner. you found everything you needed for a decent meal and began cooking it up. hongjoong had dozed off mid conversation, surrounded in a pile of tissues, you chose to let him sleep so he would recover quicker.

about an hour later, you placed two steamy hot meals onto their dining table next to two full glasses of water. you quietly knocked on their bedroom door, finding seonghwa asleep amongst the covers.

you gently shook him awake, "hwa, i made dinner for you guys. you can wake joong up, i'll head off now." you said with a smile.

leaving the two of them to enjoy their dinner, you headed home and cooked yourself something to eat. it was nice having some time to yourself, but saturday nights were becoming more and more empty as winter grew closer. december was only days away and the year would soon come to an end. you reached for the phone, suddenly desperately missing your friends despite only seeing them hours ago.

"hey woo, are you free next weekend?" you asked.

he paused a moment, "i think so, why?"

"you wanna go out with the others? it's been a while since we have all caught up for drinks."

"count me in!" wooyoung cheered.

you called everyone else up and they all agreed, even hongjoong promised to come if he was feeling better.

————————

you found yourself surrounded by wooyoung, san, yunho and mingi as the music blared. it was a less popular club on the far side of town but it was a comfortable place for you all. you often came here for drinks and the staff members knew you, quite well, a little too well. san grabbed your hand and spun you around a few times with the music.

you laughed, leaning against him, "maybe spinning around isn't the best idea right after two shots of vodka."

"what?" san yelled into your ear, struggling to hear you over the music.

you laughed louder, pulling him closer to you, "i said, spinning is not a good idea after drinking vodka!"

"oh!" he joined you in laughing before trying to twirl you around once more.

hongjoong and seonghwa sat at the bar, holding hands and being intimate as always. yeosang was sat next to jongho at a booth, quietly talking with him, but from the corner of your eye, you saw jongho stand up and walk away. your eyes watched him worriedly and you couldn't help but run after him. you followed him as best you could, stumbling every now and then. he'd gone to the bathroom so you patiently waited outside until he came back, looking slightly pale.

you practically leapt at him, doing a quick scan to make sure he was okay, "jongho? are you alright?"

he smiled at your overwhelming concern, "yeah, i just drank too much as usual. i'll be alright, you can go back to dancing."

"let me just get you some water first. i'll be right back okay?" you patted his shoulder. "don't go anywhere i'll be back in a second."

you made your way back to where jongho had been sitting with yeosang. as you approached, yeosang eyed you up and down, taking in your drunken state, though, it wasn't the first time he'd seen you this way. you nearly tripped as you reached the table, struggling to walk in heels.

"i need a glass of water, do you have a glass of water? jongho needs a glass of water." you mumbled to yourself, reaching for the jug in the center of the table.

"are you okay?" yeosang asked, quickly pushing your hand away from the jug.

"i'm okay, but jongho needs water. can i take this cup? he's waiting for me, i told him not to go anywhere, i need to get back to jongho—" you tried to pick up a glass but yeosang pressed your hand back down once more.

"i'll take it to him, you stay here." he said, filling the cup full with water and heading towards the bathrooms.

your brain suddenly felt fuzzy and your eyes became blurry, it was like the alcohol hit your system all at once. your head spun round and round and you leaned forward, resting your hands on your head. you'd never felt this sick from drinking, maybe you'd had too much too quickly, maybe it was the spinning. there was no way to tell, all you knew was that you felt like you were about to fall from the top of a very high roller coaster.

your eyes felt increasingly heavy, you allowed them to slip shut, head falling to the table with a not so gentle thud.

"y/n?" someone shook you, "y/n wake up!" it was wooyoung.

"shit, is she okay? should we call an ambulance?" jongho said, reaching for his phone.

"is she breathing? has anyone checked?" seonghwa gently lifted your shoulders and sat you upright, relieved to see the rise and fall of your chest. "we should call a taxi and get her home."

"are you crazy? she's unconscious, she won't be able to get up the stairs to her apartment! what if the driver is dodgy? she's already had to deal with shitty men while working night shift, imagine if something happened while she's drunk!" yeosang blurted out. the boys were shocked over his sudden concern for you. yeosang had never once shown any interest or care for you in the presence of them.

"well, what should we do then?" mingi asked, worriedly running a hand through his hair.

"i'll take her, you've all been drinking." yeosang concluded. "she'll be fine, don't worry. enjoy the rest of your night, okay? i've dealt with woo passing out before remember?"

"that's true." san said, throwing a light hearted glare in wooyoung's direction, who showed a rather sheepish expression.

the boys went back to their drinks, taking it a little slower now and yeosang carried you to his car. it wasn't easy, but he managed to sit you upright in the back seat of his car with his rear view mirror aimed directly at you so he could make sure you were okay.

he was able to lift you up the stairs and get your house key from the pocket of your jacket, which would've looked questionable to anyone else, but he had the best intentions. he sat you down in a dining chair, watching as your head lolled forward and your body slumped. he quickly filled a glass of water and came back to you.

"y/n." he whispered, resting a hand on your shoulder. "y/n." he said again, louder this time.

the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you, but you weren't waking up and that was becoming concerning. he shook your shoulder, as gently as he possible could in a moment like this, and to his relief, your eyes hesitantly opened.

your head felt like a bowling ball and you groaned quietly. "yeosang?"

"here." he said holding the cup to your lips, allowing you to take a small sip.

"how did we get here?" you mumbled, head rolling to the side.

he caught your head and carefully pushed you back upright, "i drove you, this is your apartment."

"oh." you said, eyes drooping shut again. "oh." you repeated.

"y/n, i really need you to stay awake right now." he said, bringing the cup to your mouth again. "lets talk."

"we never talk!" you exclaimed. "this is the longest conversation we've ever had!"

"i know." he said, pulling up a chair to sit directly in front of you. yeosang felt that slight tug at his heart again tonight, the way you sounded so excited just to talk with him.

"no, no, no." you whined, "this is so bad!"

"what is it?"

you pouted before nervously biting your lip, "i'm really sorry."

"for what?" he questioned, leaning back in his chair.

"for ruining your night and making you stay here with me! now you just have another reason to hate me." you sighed, letting your head fall into your hands.

"i could never hate you." he said, voice barely above a whisper.

but you had fallen back asleep, so yeosang sat you upright once more and monitored you closely all night. with every minute that passed, he wished more and more that it was easier for him to show his emotions, to you especially. he wondered if maybe he wasn't so closed off that things would be different between the two of you. but it was hard for him, to let people in, he was afraid. afraid of people judging the real him, afraid of what might happen if he lets himself become vulnerable, afraid of facing his feelings about you.

you awoke hours later with a raging headache and extreme nausea. you headed straight for the bathroom and hunched over the toilet, feeling the sickest you'd ever felt. yeosang waited patiently outside the bathroom door with a glass of water and painkillers.

when you came out, he held his hand out, "take this."

you looked down at his hand and then up at him, slightly confused, "what are you doing here?"

"you passed out last night, and i drove you home because everyone else had been drinking." he said, passing the glass of water.

"oh my god." you ran a hand through your hair, "yeosang, i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to be any trouble! you must of been here all night, i promise it won't happen again, that was so stupid of me—"

"it's fine, don't worry about it." he said, shrugging, "i'll get going now, but make sure you take it easy and drink enough water." his eyes carefully scanned your body one last time, making sure you were really okay. he headed for the door and you followed.

"i'm really sorry." you frowned, feeling as though no amount of apologies would make it up to him.

he let out a slight chuckle, "it's okay, seriously y/n." he said before leaving. you heard the all too familiar jingle of his keys as the door closed behind him.

he'd stayed with you all night, eyes watching over you closely. ready at your side whenever you stirred in your sleep. he'd been there in the morning prepared with water and painkillers. this was never how it was, usually this was your job, taking care of the boys. it was your way of showing you cared, helping out wherever possible.

this wasn't like yeosang. at all.

————————

as soon as yeosang got home he was greeted by a very concerned san and wooyoung.

"is she okay?"

"are you tired?"

"did she wake up?"

he was bombarded by questions.

"she's okay, she fell asleep after a while and i made her take some painkillers when she woke up." yeosang said, collapsing onto the couch.

"so you really don't hate her then." wooyoung thought aloud.

"he can't, he spent the whole night looking after her!" san said, hitting wooyoung like it was obvious.

"owww," wooyoung rubbed his arm, "even she thinks you don't like her!"

"i know, she said last night. but she probably won't remember saying that." yeosang said, feeling increasingly drowsy from his lack of sleep.

"maybe you guys should like, talk things out?" san suggested, taking a seat next to him.

"maybe." yeosang said, drifting off into sleep.

you had spent the day curled up in bed, wondering how you could make it up to yeosang, and there was nothing more you wanted than to get to know him better, but what would he want? you called up san on that thought.

"hey sannie," you said, "i need your help, actually, is woo there as well?"

"oh my god she's alive!" you heard wooyoung call from beside san.

"what do you need help with?" san asked.

you paused a moment, "is yeosang there?"

"well yes, but he's asleep."

you groaned, "i feel so bad that he stayed up all night looking after me. i really wanna make it up to him but i don't know how. plus, it's not like he's that fond of me. maybe i should just thank him by staying out of his space."

"i don't think he'd like that." wooyoung interjected. "i still think he just needs time before opening up to you."

"i think its just me." you sighed, worriedly chewing on your bottom lip.

"hey! don't be like that! there's no reason to not like you." san scolded you for down talking yourself as he always does.

"agreed." wooyoung said, chiming in.

"i'm sure i'll work something out. thanks guys! enjoy the rest of your day!" you said.

"good luck!"

"bye y/n!"

————————

you had been staring at your phone for at least an hour, typing and retyping the message to yeosang. wooyoung gave you his number so that you could contact him when you'd finally worked out how to make it up to him. in the end, you decided that you would let him decide.

you drew in a sharp breath and squeezed your eyes tightly shut as you pressed send.

you: hey yeosang, i still feel really bad about the other day, i wanna know how i can make it up to you !!

yeosang: did wooyoung give you my number? T~T

you: yes he did.. i hope thats okay !

yeosang: of course yeosang: how about you make it up to me over a cup of coffee? >.<

you: that sounds great !! you: when are you free ?

yeosang: does tomorrow morning work for you ? i can pick you up ^_^

you: of course ! i'll see you tomorrow :)

yeosang sat in his room, facepalming. why was it so easy to be more open over text?

you on the other hand, felt your heart swell in a bizarre way. maybe it was the way you hadn't expected him to use such cute little emoticons. maybe it was the way that you'd be able to have a full conversation with him. whatever it was, excitement had taken over you.

————————

a knock pounded at your door and you rushed to open it.

"ready to go?" he asked, leaning against the door frame coolly.

"yes, lets go!" you said, sounding a little too excited.

the two of you made your way down the stairs and into yeosang's car. you found yourself smiling as you looked out the window.

your excitement hadn't gone unnoticed, "you seem awfully excited."

"i really wanted to make it up to you," you beamed. "it must've been boring to watch over me all night."

"i didn't mind so much." he said, shrugging.

you frowned, "you shouldn't of done it."

"and leave you passed out in the club?" he quirked an eyebrow up at you.

"well..."

"exactly." he said, parking the car outside a small cafe nearby his apartment. "come on, lets go inside."

you followed him in and took a seat across from him at a table close to the window. you both ordered coffees and resumed conversation.

"so, where were we?" you smiled, taking a sip of coffee.

"talking about how you wanted me to leave you passed out in the club." he said. you were almost convinced you saw a teasing smile pulling at his lips.

"right. i'm so sorry about that."

this time he actually chuckled, and you were taken aback. it was like the wall yeosang had surrounding himself was crumbling before your eyes.

"you need to apologise less." he laughed, bringing his coffee cup to his mouth for a sip. "half of the time we talk its just you saying sorry to me."

"i'm so—"

"hey!" the two of you broke into laughter.

his laugh was loud but warm and you couldn't help but notice the way his nose scrunched up cutely, the way his eyes looked full of stars and the way he brushed his hair out of his eyes after, revealing his beautiful birthmark. from that point on, you wanted to be the one to make him laugh every day.

he felt that familiar tug at his heart, the one he'd been feeling every moment he spent alone with you. the one he felt when he first met you. the one he couldn't make any sense of. it was as though his heart was a violin and you were the one playing it. (which would explain the tugging feeling.) but you were playing the sweetest song and he never wanted it to end.

the two of you laughed the morning away, gradually making up for what you'd missed over two years in a matter of two hours.

you'd discovered that even after getting him to open up more, he wasn't one for words. you found yourself talking his ear off while he listened intently, occasionally sharing his opinions and stories. in all his honesty, he didn't mind listening to you talk. he could've sat there all day, drinking countless cups of coffee, watching the way you bit your bottom lip whenever you paused to think or the way your eyes filled with sparkles when you talked about something that made you happy.

you insisted on paying for the infinite cups of coffee, as it was your way of making it up to him. he reluctantly agreed, but promised that he would pay if there ever was a next time, which he secretly hoped there would be. he'd finally had the chance to let his walls down. (it was actually more like you'd climbed the walls and torn them down with your bare hands.) but he was thankful for it.

he drove you back to your apartment, even after you persisted on walking home, seeing as it wasn't that far. he refused, insisting that he drive you. he even followed you up the stairs to the door of your apartment.

you turned around to face him, "you know, you're not so bad when you actually wanna talk to me."

"you know, you're not so bad when you're not drunk." he countered, his lips breaking into a playful grin.

you glared jokingly, "hey! don't make me apologise again."

"okay, okay. i won't." he said, raising his hands in defence.

you smiled, resting against the door, "alright, well, i've really enjoyed hanging out with you today. maybe we should catch up more often."

"maybe we should." he said, bearing a coy smile, "bye, y/n. i'll see you around."

————————

it was only about a week later he showed up at your work, at the end of your shift. you were pleasantly surprised to see him, and at first thought he was just someone coming to book a room.

"hello, are you looking for a r— yeosang?"

"when do you get off work?" he asked, glancing over to the clock.

"five minutes."

"i'll be waiting in the car, okay?" he said, turning on his heel and heading for the door.

on his way out, you saw as he ran into your boss, the two of them beginning conversation.

"it's good to see you've made those security changes." yeosang said as he nodded, extending his arm for a friendly handshake. "i'm very thankful."

your boss shook his hand, "and i'm thankful that you suggested them."

just over five minutes later you got into the passenger seat of yeosang's car.

"it was you who told my boss about the safety problems." you said, in near disbelief.

"hello, to you too." he joked sarcastically. "well, i would hate to think that the situation could happen again, so i just suggested some possible improvements. thats all." he shrugged like it was nothing.

"suddenly, i feel the need to make it up to you again." you smiled shyly.

"you can do that by accompanying me to the skate park." he said, motioning to his skateboard on the back seat.

"ah, so thats why you came."

"well yeah, i wanted to bring you to the skate park."

your heart swelled once again, feeling joyed that he wanted to share one of his favourite places with you. (despite him never telling you directly, you knew he loved the skate park as he spent majority of his high school time there when he wasn't studying.)

when you arrived, the sun was beginning to slip behind the horizon, causing the sky to glow a rosy pink. there were still a few kids, probably high schoolers, hanging around the park. you took a seat at a bench and waited for yeosang to come over, who was getting his skateboard out the car. you felt oddly out of place since you were still in your neat work uniform and didn't know the first thing about skateboarding.

yeosang rolled over with a grin plastered onto his face, you'd never seen him so happy, and it made you happy to see him this way. it was strange how all it took was a few cups of coffee for him to become a completely different person around you.

he didn't need to ask you to watch as your eyes were already glued to him as he dropped into the bowl, showing countless tricks and flips.

the truth was in fact that yeosang was grateful for you 'making it up to him'. he'd never been able to comprehend his feelings for you, if they were even feelings at all. he hated the confusion and decided it was easier to ignore it, and to an extent, ignore you, to make it go away. it had been working for the most part, until every time the two of you were alone together, he couldn't ignore the slight tug at his heart, that was becoming more of a pull over the last few weeks.

"you're amazing!" you cheered as he sat down next to you, out of breath.

"thanks." he smiled shyly, running a hand through his hair and out of his face. he leaned back, looking up at the sky. "do you sometimes wish you could see the stars from within the city? hongjoong and seonghwa are so lucky they can see them from their house."

you pondered a moment, thinking about the last time you actually saw stars in the sky. "i see stars in your eyes sometimes." you said, absent minded.

he felt warmth burning in his cheeks, "you do?"

"do what?" you turned to him, "did i say that out loud?" you gasped, covering your face in embarrassment. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to say that it was just a thought and—"

"what did i say about apologising?" he laughed. "it's getting cold, right? you ready to head home?" he asked.

you smiled, "if you are."

he drove you home and said goodbye, feeling happy about spending time alone with you once again. he couldn't stop thinking about what you said and you couldn't stop feeling like a fool for saying it.

————————

the weather got colder and colder and soon it began to snow as the days of december passed. you had spent the day helping jongho move some new furniture into his apartment. it was a difficult job, but easier with the two of you, even san and wooyoung came to help. you couldn't resist wondering where yeosang was and why he didn't come, seeing as they lived in the same building. maybe he was busy, you thought.

"hey, where's yeosang?" you asked, lifting a box and placing it on the kitchen counter.

"at home, i think he's been feeling sick or something, he hardly comes out of his room lately." wooyoung shrugged, assuming it was all good.

"if he's sick i'll bring him over some food and painkillers, maybe keep him some company." you explained, not wanting yeosang to be unwell.

"i think he'd rather be left alone, to be honest." san said, giving wooyoung a side glance that you couldn't miss.

you pulled out your phone and sent yeosang a quick message.

you: are you feeling okay? san and woo said you were sick :((

he didn't respond right away and you just figured he was asleep. but as you finished helping out at jongho's house a few hours later, he still hadn't responded. when you were sitting down to eat dinner at home, he still hadn't respond. just before you were going to turn the lights out and go to bed, he still hadn't responded.

something was up. this wasn't like yeosang, not anymore. not since the two of you had been spending so much time together. maybe it was like the boys said, and he was truly very sick, but in that case, why wouldn't they let you help?

————————

days passed and you went to work as usual, repeating the same few lines, asking people if they want a room, asking them to fill in a form, then directing them to the right room. days passed and you still hadn't heard back from yeosang, you wondered if he was still sick. days passed and you began to think maybe you should go over there to see if he's okay.

but if there was one thing you'd learnt about yeosang recently, it was that he was the quieter type, and probably wouldn't appreciate you going over there to keep him company and would rather be alone. so that evening when you got off work, you didn't go visit him like you so desperately wanted to, instead, you went straight home.

you cooked and ate dinner for yourself, before picking up your phone, only to see still no messages from yeosang.

you: hey woo you: is yeosang feeling better ?

wooyoung: yeah he is

you: well then can i come visit tomorrow ?

wooyoung: i think he's busy wooyoung: sorry

you: its okay woo you: its not your fault !!

you switched your phone off and headed for the shower, trying to wash away the stress and worry for yeosang that had built up over the last few weeks. you had really grown to like him and there was still so much about him you wanted to learn, like when he learned to skateboard or how he got the small scar on the back of his hand, that you'd noticed when ever he brushes his hair out of his eyes.

two years he'd spent, not interested in holding conversation with you and two years you'd spent, wondering what you'd did so wrong. but lately, you felt like you were doing something right around him, getting him to smile and laugh, share his own stories.

you couldn't shake the feeling that maybe he still didn't like you, and had just been trying for wooyoung's sake.

or maybe he was genuinely starting to like you, but you went and fucked it up by weirding him out and telling him about his starry eyes.

or maybe he'd just had enough of you already. decided that a few weeks was enough time spent trying to change things between the two of you.

as you finished showering and changed into comfortable clothes, you glanced at the clock which read 10:56pm. you switched on the television to watch some youtube before going to bed. as you felt yourself dozing off, a faint knock sounded at your door, so quiet you almost missed it.

when you opened the door, you were shocked to see yeosang standing there, leaning against the door frame for support. he looked up at you, his normally starry eyes were dulled with tears.

you rushed forward to him, smelling the alcohol as you got closer, "yeosang are you okay? what are you doing here? i thought you were sick. are you drunk? you never drink, come inside." you gently pulled him inside, closing the door behind you. when you turned to face him, he was staring at you, tears about to spill over the brim of his eyes.

"i hate you." he breathed out, voice barely louder than a whisper. he didn't seem angry though, he looked fragile, like a glass vase balancing on the edge of a table.

you felt the urge to cry, finally hearing those three words that confirmed your biggest concern, yeosang disliking you. "yeosang, i'm so sorry. i never meant to—"

"i hate you." he said, louder this time before running a hand through his hair hastily. he let out a frustrated groan, dragging his hands down his face. "i hate the tugging feeling in my heart whenever we're alone. i hate the way you put yourself before others. i hate the way you ramble on when you're nervous. i hate the way your eyes sparkle when you laugh. i hate the way i don't drink around you because i feel the need to protect you and make sure you're safe. i hate the way i tried to ignore you for two years because i was scared and confused about my own feelings. i hate how it only took one cup of coffee with you for my walls to come crashing down!" he paced from side to side, waving his hands around crazily.

yeosang looked scared and lost, like he'd never felt this way about anyone before, and that was the truth. he didn't know how to comprehend these feelings and it terrified him.

you watched as he spiralled, seeming as though it would never stop. you weren't sure what to do, so you just listened to that swelling feeling in your heart once again, the one that had led you to develop feelings for yeosang, and you pulled him close into your arms. he clung onto you tightly, scared to let go, like if he did then he'd lose you forever. you ran your fingers through his hair briefly, trying your best to comfort him.

"i'm sorry." you repeatedly whispered to him. you'd never meant to upset him or confuse him.

yeosang let out a quiet sob into your chest, "i hate the way i've fallen in love with you." he croaked out.

he didn't hate you. never did. never will. your heart swelled completely in your chest, feeling as though it would burst through. but it couldn't be true. he's totally drunk out of his mind.

"you're not in your right mind, yeosang, you need to get home. you're drunk and talking nonsense." you embraced him tightly one more time, and you could've sworn you felt the beat of his heart through the hug. "come on," you urged, steering him towards the door, "wooyoung and san are probably worried and waiting up for you."

with much effort, you led him down the stairs of your apartment block and walked him home. the street lamps led you in the freezing city night air. you held his wrist lightly, guiding him up the stairs to his own apartment. he didn't speak a single word the whole time, instead, sniffling and wiping at his eyes. it hurt you so much to see him this broken, but you knew he wasn't saying the truth under control of the alcohol in his veins.

you knocked at his apartment door, hoping that one of the boys were still awake. luckily, they both were and quickly they flung the door open.

"y/n? yeosang?" san questioned, his eyes wide open with disbelief.

"we've been so worried about you!" wooyoung said, pulling yeosang away from you. "hang on, are you drunk?"

san had noticed his tired, tear stained eyes, "you look like you've been crying! are you okay?"

you let out a quiet sigh, knowing you didn't need to be here anymore. you gave a small wave goodbye and headed home, utterly exhausted.

and though you were so drained, you couldn't seem to fall asleep. those words yeosang said to you kept running through your mind busily.

did he mean any of it?

————————

yeosang felt bad. he felt terrible. like he wanted to vanish into thin air and float away with the breeze. though he couldn't, no, he desperately wanted to apologise to you. but he didn't know how, he wasn't good with words or expressing his feelings, and you wished he knew that was something you loved about him.

wooyoung and san tried to ask him what happened the night he drunkenly confessed to you, but he couldn't have them know that he'd been harbouring feelings for you for all this time, they'd never let him live it down. he could imagine the continuous teasing they'd give him, nudging him whenever you were together or giving him side glances after talking to you.

yeosang gave it lots of thought. he mulled it over in his head repeatedly. it was only after hours spent hidden away in his room that he decided to go back to where it all started, a text. a text that said how much he wanted to make it up to you for having to deal with him drunk, just like the one you'd sent initially.

yeosang: hey y/n, i feel really bad about the other day, i wanna know how i can make it up to you! T^T

your heart leapt a mile seeing his name appear on your phone. you grinned upon reading his message, realising it was scarily similar to the message you had first sent him.

you: hmmm you: that sounds familiar

yeosang: >.< yeosang: seriously though, how does dinner at my place tomorrow night sound? i'll cook

you: you can cook?

yeosang: there's a lot you don't know about me x_x

you: okay, i'll be there !!

————————

yeosang wasn't lying when he said he can cook. as you traipsed up the stairs of his apartment block you could smell something delicious laced in the air.

the usual swelling in your heart had instead fell to the pit of your stomach, you were feeling slightly nervous as to what would happen when you entered yeosang's apartment. you inhaled deeply before knocking at the door of his apartment.

"hey y/n, come in." yeosang greeted, holding an arm out, signalling for you to come inside.

"you must've been working hard cooking! it smells delicious." you said, feeling a sense of comfort just from the smell of food.

"yeah, lucky i sent wooyoung and san over to jongho's place, otherwise i doubt there would be any pasta to serve." he joked. "you can take a seat, i've just gotta serve up."

you sat down in front of a neatly laid table, it had somewhat surprised you how much effort yeosang had put into this dinner tonight. he placed a steamy hot plate of pasta in front of you and one where he would sit.

"so." he began.

"so." you copied, teasingly.

"i guess, i really just wanted to say i'm sorry for how i behaved the other night when i was drunk. you shouldn't of had to deal with that." he frowned, poking at his dinner.

you furrowed your brows, "it's seriously fine yeosang." you took a bite of pasta, "i was just surprised to see you drunk, since you never drink."

he chuckled, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth, "actually, i do. i just never drink when you're there."

"really? why?" you questioned, eating another mouthful of pasta.

"because..." he paused. "no, it sounds dumb out loud."

"it's okay, you don't have to explain yourself." you smiled warmly, "but that does remind me to ask... do you remember anything you said to me while you were drunk?" you leant forward, genuinely curious.

he sighed, "i remember.. enough."

"you don't really hate me, right?" you asked, playing with the food on your plate.

"of course not! that's why i invited you here tonight. to show you that i don't, and to make it up to you." he had to refrain from reaching across to hold your hand, just to show how much he cared that little bit more.

you nodded, "well, thats good. i was kinda worried that we'd gone back to square one."

comfort settled within you. it was relieving to know you weren't hated by the one person whose love you wanted most. a tiny thought crept into your mind, maybe, just maybe, now would be the right time to tell him about your blossoming feelings for him. or would that confuse him more? now you were the one feeling conflicted.

"are you finished eating?" he asked, reaching for your empty plate.

"yes, thank you! it was delicious. you're a good cook, y'know."

"ah, thanks y/n." he turned away to hide the blush appearing on his cheeks.

"would you like me to do the dishes? since you cooked." you offered, standing up. but he quickly opposed.

"don't be ridiculous." he shooed you back to your seat. "can i get you a coffee? water? wine?"

"a coffee sounds good, i think you and i have had too many drunken situations lately." you laughed.

yeosang pulled out two mugs and put the kettle on. he felt your eyes carefully watching him. once again, he hated the feeling that was pulling at his heart. the way you could say nothing, yet he felt everything.

"can i tell you something?" you asked, voice now quieter and more hesitant.

"sure, what is it?" he said, placing a warm cup of coffee in front of you.

you took a sip, humming in delight. it was exactly the way you liked it. when the two of you went out for coffee, he had unintentionally remembered just the way you like it.

"well," you began cautiously, in case you brought this situation into flames again. "i just... i always wondered why you didn't like me. if i was doing something wrong, if i said something once that really upset you. and then after we started spending time together, i finally felt like i was doing the right thing." you groaned, frustrated with yourself for not getting to the point quicker. "what i'm trying to say is that i have feelings for you. it's okay if you don't feel the same way. i wouldn't expect you to, i just thought you should know—"

yeosang basically choked on his coffee, eyes widening in shock. "it's okay, y/n! in case you hadn't noticed, i'm crazy about you."

you had continued to ramble nervously before hearing what he said.

"wait. you are?"

"basically ever since you said that thing about stars in my eyes, yes."

you cringed, remembering how you had said that so absent minded. "yeah, sorry about that."

"it's okay, it was cute. and what did i say about apologising?"

you shook your head and smiled, "i know."

————————

ever since the two of you confessed to each other, you had been almost inseparable, except of course when you had work. but he dropped you home most nights, even though you insisted it was okay and that you could walk. he came over every weekend just to spend time with you, even if the two of you just sat and talked, enjoying each other's company. you'd been dating for a few weeks now, but kept it undercover, not wanting to suffer the incessant questioning that would come if you told your friends.

it didn't go unnoticed either, wooyoung and san were constantly nagging yeosang about why the two of you spent so much time together, and each time he just shrugged it off.

christmas was just around the corner, so you were spending the evening at seonghwa's and hongjoong's house, who of course, were throwing an unnecessarily large house party to celebrate.

you were sat between a very drunk yunho and mingi, who were trying to talk to an also very drunk jongho. you eyed your boyfriend from across the room, as if asking for a way out and he just laughed at the situation you were stuck in.

after at least ten minutes more of having your ear talked off, yeosang came to pull you away to the dance floor.

"care to dance?" he asked, extending his hand to you.

you immediately jumped up, latching onto his hand, "i would love to!"

he chuckled, pulling you close to his side and leading you to the makeshift dance floor that seonghwa and hongjoong created.

the two of you laughed at the boys' reaction. they were completely shocked to see the two of you so close together and yeosang being friendly.

he twirled you around a few times with the music, before settling his arms around your waist. he brought you near to him as you placed your arms behind his neck. you swayed back and forth, engulfed in your own little bubble of comfort in each other's arms, completely out of time with the loud thumping music that blared around you.

you felt content, and yeosang no longer felt confused. he found his home in your arms and his happiness.

you reached up to place your lips on his, capturing the moment surrounding you. yeosang melted into the kiss, discovering that your lips were soft and sweet against his, just as he had imagined, which caused his knees to feel weak and his heart to skip more than just one beat. he never wanted to let you go, he wanted to compensate for every second that he didn't spend with you since the two of you met.

he leaned forward and whispered softly, just so you could hear above all the music and singing, "lets stay like this forever."

[bubblyhoney]

sarah i have thought of another fic request or like a cute idea i guess! i didn’t have anyone in mind when i thought of it so you can write it for whoever you want honestly :)

okay so the reader is a streamer but streams games like animal crossing, standew valley, etc. then (insert who you’re writing for) says they don’t like that game, but later ends up buying it and the reader is like “i thought you said you didn’t like this game” and they’re like “well i like you” and they confuses their feelings and they end up playing the game together and reader gives them a tour of their island or farm

i feel like this request isn’t good, but the scenario seemed cute and i wanted to share it. sorry if this is confusing or just too specific cuz i know it can be hard to write requests like that! but yeah i hope it gives you inspiration and you like the request <3

new horizons

warnings: language, a Marvel reference (hint: natasha said it about tony), stupid idiots who don’t realize they like each other, use of pet names, Uno rage, Hasan Piker's presence

words: 1473

tags: sapnap x gn!reader

A/N: i’ve been trying to catch up a little on my requests (i’ve only got a couple so i’m not super overwhelmed) but school and outside life has been taking up most of my time so this one took me a while to make! tbh— ive never played animal crossing so i did google some of the game mechanics and i apologize if anything is inaccurate about the game…. but i liked relaxing and writing this cute one so thank you for requesting hails :3

requests/inbox status: open

-

“This game is trash.”

Your head quirks, fingers stopped on the screen. You’re in the process of giving your character a cute new nickname; it’s kind of hard to decide between “awkward dude” and “elderly skater”.

“Excuse me?” Your chat comes alive with emotes and ‘KEKW’s, obviously entertained by you and your almost-more-than-friends-friend.

There’s a story for that later.

Sapnap’s rough laugh comes through your headset and he audibly swallows, the sound of a water bottle dropping onto his desk echoing.

“I’m just saying—it’s boring. It’s like Minecraft but you don’t like… do anything.” The grainy image of his bearded face shifts and you see him pull out his phone.

“It’s— you can’t even compare it to Minecraft! It’s a completely different game system—you actually interact with other people live in the game.” You huff out a dramatic sigh, slumping in your chair with a pout. “Just because you go into this lucid state where all you know is ‘touch block, hit George’ doesn’t mean this game isn’t fun.” (He scoffs at your awful impression of his voice. Your viewers love it.)

“Jeez,” he mumbles, fumbling with the cap of his water bottle. “Touched a nerve there, bud.”

You roll your eyes, getting back to the village in the game.

“Don't ‘bud’ me.”

The call falls comfortably quiet, the sounds of him tapping obsessively on his phone and you clicking away filling the silence. A gentle bedroom-pop YouTube playlist remains in the background, prompting you to hum along and glance at the chat to see a flood of “check twitter” and “Y/N TWITTER!!”.

“What happened on Twitter?” You mumble, confused, and pull the website up on another monitor. Sapnap just makes a curious noise, swinging back and forth in a circle. “Oh my God,” you say to yourself, fingertips brushing your parted lips.

“What?”

“Hasan Piker just followed me and retweeted one of my not even remotely political old tweets. Like from a year ago.”

“That’s— wow. Congrats?” Sapnap’s voice cracks, and his ears flush pink the tiniest bit when you glance at his face on Discord.

“I’m gonna go on record and say that he could get it.” You shake your head in disbelief.

Sapnap falls uncharacteristically non-hyper-verbal, so you look past the frenzied chat and to his screen— wait. He muted and turned his camera off.

“Um,” you start, furiously typing question marks in your private chat. “Where’d you go?” You mute and turn screen share off for your stream, concerned that he might’ve fallen off his chair and broken his neck and needs you to call the ambulance.

The characteristic ding of a twitter notification sounds through your bedroom, and you look at your phone quickly.

“That’s where I went.”

Sapnap Tweeted: “all Y/U stans can choke on my dick”.

“Jesus, Sapnap,” you say, and rapidly refresh to read the replies. This tweet was deleted. “That’s so— that barely makes sense, bro. Why— literally what?”

His snicker floods your ears and you relax in your chair. Crisis: averted. “Don’t fucking— what’s wrong with you?”

“I thought it would be funny,” he offers, shrugging, and fiddles with the straw in his water bottle, smile fading. “And also Hasan pisses me off.”

“Why, ‘cause he wants a piece of this? Jealous?” You think back to your viewers, knowing they’re probably spamming question marks and coming to ludacris conclusions about both of your absences. No offense to them. You remember your stan days very vividly.

“I mean, kinda.” He rubs once at his nose, glancing at the camera (and what feels like you) before taking a sip from his water bottle.

“Wow.” You watch one strand of his hair fall from beneath his hat and brush against his full eyebrows. “I’m uh—I’ll get back to my stream. You coming? Or is it time for a Sapnap-snack?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He snorts and leans his chin onto the balance of his arm.

“That means you like to take a little snack break mid-stream and come back approximately nine hours later and you didn’t even eat.”

“You know what— fuck you.” He flicks the camera as you laugh at the look on his face.

The teasing mood is easily kept as you switch games from Animal Crossing to Uno, all the while slamming Sapnap with +4’s and skipping the newly-arrived BadBoyHalo at any chance you can get. It unironically pisses him off and he has to take a Sapnap-snack break midway through (only a fifteen minute break this time, during which you and Bad take a “What Kind of Bread Are You?” quiz). The rest of the night is filled with devious cackles (you), loud and sudden bangs that sound suspiciously like someone hitting their desk in anger (Sap) and the stupid barking of Rat, AKA Lucy (Bad). She’s cute but a menace to the sound quality of Bad’s microphone. You sign off stream around 2 a.m. with various forms of thanks and kisses blown to the camera. It’s been a refreshing night, actually; you’ve been busy organizing a partnership stream all week and all your friends have been busy filming or editing or what-not. Quackity had time for a little Roblox every couple of days, though. He’s got your back.

The next time you see Sapnap is after a two hour stream of him try-harding in Valorant and you finishing responding to an email from your partnership in the VC.

“Okay, I’m back.” You hear him shift in his chair and click a couple more times on his keyboard. You perk up in your chair, closing the email browser you’d been looking at.

“Do you want to play anything else? I’m down for anything.”

“Absolutely not Uno. You can go to hell for giving me 6 cards that one time,” he jabs. You scoff, crossing your arms and leaning back in your chair.

“Okay, the +4 was on me but it’s Bad who gave you the last two. That’s not my fault, sweetie.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbles, trailing off as the clicking of his keyboard stops. “Hey, um—Guess what?”

Your heart beats loud in your ears at the tone of his voice. He sounds nervous; that’s never good.

“I’m scared to guess,” you try, playing with a little Minecraft dog figurine you have on your desk with fidgety fingers. “What?”

“I bought Animal Crossing.”

Silence. You stare at his discord icon blankly, trying to reroute the wires of your brain.

“Tell me you love it.”

“Well… I haven’t actually played it— but you said you liked it, so.”

“So,” you repeat him, ears warming but continuing on. “Is that what you tell all your friends when you buy something they like? That it's because of them?”

He seems to choose his next words carefully, pausing a beat to consider your questions.

“Well, I don’t have a crush on all of my friends.”

“You—what?” You stutter, caught off guard and stumbling. What did he just say? “Don’t tell me you mean you have a crush on me.”

“I’m almost positive I just did.” His discord icon stares right back at you, taunting.

“You know, you’re very casual for someone who just admitted they like-like me.” Your cheeks flush pink and you have to press a hand to your chest to keep your breathing sounding stable.

“Yeah, I’m kind of cool like that,” he offers, a huff of a laugh punctuating his statement. The conversation moves into a lull that you can’t help but know is because of you. He must expect you to say something about it, right?

“You are very cool, Sapnap.” You tilt back in your chair, sucking in a breath to prepare yourself for your next words. “And—Isortakindofhaveacrushonyoutoo.”

He must understand you, for you can hear the grin in his voice when he asks “Really?”

“Y-yeah.” You feel like a preteen again, all shaky and giddy in front of the boy you just asked to a middle school dance.

“Um, alright. What do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” you answer genuinely and swing in a happy little circle in your chair. “We could play Animal Crossing.”

“I’m down.”

You swear you’ve never heard more beautiful words.

He keeps his camera off for most of the time you two play, too focused on creating his island and asking you questions about how to fish to turn it on. He silently flips it on when you help him decorate his lawn, needing to show you in real-time the decorations he has bought and where you think he should put them. He looks cute. I mean, of course he does. He always does.

You tell him goodbye late in the night, eyes saying a little more than just “see you tomorrow”.

You like him. He likes you.

It’s even better when you two have matching gardens.

-

A/N: anybody and everybody (especially my precious hailey) let me know what you think!! :]