#(so the money part is realistically nbd)

[kirby-the-gorb]

[sonneillonv]

I've been DMing for twenty years. I currently DM two weekly games at a local store for money so you could even call me a professional.

You're absolutely right: they're doing it wrong. Also, that whole "WE CAN'T POSSIBLY RESCHEDULE HOW DARE YOU EVEN ASK" bit? Literally anyone who plays will tell you scheduling is the hardest part of ttrpgs. I've skipped hundreds of sessions, rescheduled dozens (it's usually easier to skip and just pick up next week). It's NOT that big a deal. Hell, because my local store is run by one guy, sometimes HE gets sick and we have to cancel because we don't have a table. NBD. Next week exists.

Also as a DM, watching my players make plans is one of the things I enjoy most because the longer I let them go on, the more demented the plans become. Literally yesterday I watched them go from "we should double check to make sure the crypt really is cleared of enemies before we leave this quest location" to "we should blow up the Abbey and drop it on top of the crypt just to be safe" and I was laughing the whole time.

If we're in the middle of combat sometimes I'll gently remind them "hey y'all we're on combat time" which just means "you're really pushing the limit of what you could realistically communicate with your party in a six-second round" but otherwise... Pushing them to react immediately has no benefit besides stressing them. Plus, other people taking their turns is the time you're supposed to use to figure out what you're going to do on YOUR turn. Mike doesn't give them this time to read the board, look up power/spell details, etc. I would have given Will at least a minute or two to make his decision. Especially since he gave them all that lead-up that something bad was coming... Realistically an experienced adventure like Will The Wise should have been able to come up with a good response, therefore the player Will Byers should have a minute to think about what that response should be.

do you ever wonder if the duffers have ever actually played DnD, like... at all?

I dunno, all the DnD scenes feel very surface level and what anyone might have absorbed from (flawed) osmosis. You know what I mean?

I’m still new to DnD as a whole, so I can’t say for sure, but I’d be inclined to agree. Either they haven’t played DnD, or they play it a very specific way and, much like they don’t understand how to write healthy inter-character relationships in ST, they don’t understand how a good DM should behave.

In addition to my beef with how Eddie DMs, I also have beef with how Mike DMs, specifically not letting the rest of the Party plan their actions. I also don’t like that the Party wanted Will to lie about the roll he made, because lying about your rolls is cheating. It also really bugs me that the Hellfire Club was willing to replace Lucas so quickly. I’d need to rewatch the DnD scenes to judge them more accurately, but I’d be inclined to agree. I don’t think the Duffers understand how a DnD campaign should work and how a party should interact.

[allthingsmustfall]

Charthur Love HCs

It’s blisteringly hot and humid, and I’m feeling kind of melancholy, and was thinking about Arthur and Charles and the way they love each other.  I saw a post a while back (this has been living in a gdoc for a while), that accurately pointed out that in so many fics, Arthur puts Charles on a pedestal as some perfect unflawed human, and that that isn’t the best way to treat a character - it makes them one-dimensional if all they are is the Good which you use to measure another character’s Bad.  I fell into that a bit in ‘like thieves in the night’ and so it’s been sticking in my side….Anyway, it got me thinking about WHY they love each other, because if I could define that, then it might make it easier to write their relationship more realistically - so have some completely unrequested head canons from ‘like thieves in the night':

Arthur loves Charles

Arthur doesn’t think much of himself, not with all the things he’s done - if he’s remarkable in any way, it could only be because he’s put so much bad out into the world.  So with that lingering self-loathing, he’s always gonna consider his actions to be worse than similar things done by similar people.  So while he knows that Charles lived most of his life by thieving and killing folk, he doesn’t think of it as ‘bad’ in the same way Arthur regrets some of his own behavior.  Charles is Kind, and the things he’s done that weren’t kind - well, that’s only because there weren’t any other options afforded him; it doesn’t change the fact that Charles is, at the heart of him, good. Arthur is so much more willing to give others the benefit of a doubt.  While he can’t forgive himself for some of the things he’s done, he’s far more likely to forgive others.  Charles in particular.

Outlaws aren’t all chivalrous men who are competent and effective, Arthur knows that all too well.  So when they bring on new blood into the gang, Arthur never expects much.  Far more people fall into outlawing because they’re stupid and lazy than because they’re fighting a war on civilization in general and Washington, DC in particular.  And yet, immediately, Charles is Capable.  He comes into the gang and does more than his fair share of the hunting, the guarding, the chores.  Arthur has made the gang his family; taking care of them is how he shows his love.  Seeing Charles take that on without question or complaint is unusual enough to be startling.  It’s probably what first made Arthur look at Charles with real consideration.  For a long time, he waited for the other shoe to drop, for Charles to reveal himself as untrustworthy, to have some fatal flaw like most men they take on.  But it never comes. 

So many of the folks in the gang are bloviators who can’t shut up about how amazing they are.  But Charles doesn’t slam his ego around like a fucking weapon like the rest of them; it’s not that he’s uncertain about himself or his place in the gang.  He knows without question that he’s good at what he does and lets his actions/results speak for themselves. Many times Arthur has watched Charles smile privately after a job well done, either chopping wood or getting through a robbery without having to kill anybody. He's proud of his work, and rightly so.  It’s...admirable (cue confused soft emotions)

Arthur gets shit from some of the gang about how much time/energy he spends helping out the lost lambs of the world, but Charles does the same sort of thing.  In my fic, I gave Charles the Charlotte mission, but I like to think he picked up some of the other things that would have fallen to Arthur in-game.  So, back to Arthur’s low self-esteem, when Arthur offers that selflessness, makes himself vulnerable for no reason other than it was the right thing to do - whatever, nbd.  But when done with Charles’ hands, Arthur recognizes it as the sort of kindness that changes the world in small and loving ways.

Charles has a sense of humor that Arthur just gets.  It’s not loud or performative like Sean.  It’s quiet and sarcastic and deadpan.  It took him a while to really notice it, but Charles just cocking an eyebrow at the perfect time is enough to make Arthur crack. Charles has amazing eye roll game.  He can’t imagine that anyone thinks of Charles as silent and menacing, not when Arthur has personally heard Charles repeat filthy limericks until Arthur gave up trying to sleep, swung his leg over Charles’ hips, and kissed him quiet. 

I think that Arthur would have spent his whole life holding Charles in High Regard, not examining too closely the tremor in his chest when he makes Charles smile, or how...nice it is to just watch Charles chop wood. I think the love he feels for him is physical, not in a sexual way, but in a tactile, grounded way that's totally different than anything he's felt for a woman. With Mary, that love was ethereal, hard to grasp, but with Charles, Arthur could point to the point on his chest where that love lives. It's as real and alive as his heartbeat.

Charles loves Arthur

I think something bad happened prior to Charles joining the gang; not necessarily terrible or uniquely awful, but something that made him weary of being on his own.  Maybe he had to deal with some local racist troublemakers, got away clean, and was making camp for himself out in the rough only to be happened upon by more racists/bandits/troublemakers, and was forced into yet another fight for his life.  So he’s exhausted, and he wants a place to rest and he hears about Dutch’s gang. Dutch seems honorable, doesn’t mention his race, and almost...shows off the other POC in the gang (look at all the POC I have so generously taken in! Praise me for my open mindedness).  It’s condescending, but it’s better than the overt hatred he gets out on his own.  So he joins up.  He’s not expecting much out of a gang of outlaws, and some of them live up (down?) to expectations, but there’s a good chunk of people who are far more like a family than he was expecting.  They’ve even got a kid with them, who’s protected as fiercely as any child deserves.  And Arthur, for all that he’s introduced as Dutch’s menacing lieutenant, spends most of his energy protecting and caring for that core little family.  Yes, Arthur spends a lot of his time with his hands dirty, but at the end of the day, he wipes them clean and sits quietly at the fire, clear affection in his eyes as everyone talks over one another and laughs and dances.  It’s far more human than he was expecting from a man whose face is plastered from here to New Hanover and back again, drawn hastily above a litany of sins.

Arthur has been on the wrong side of the law his entire life, has probably killed more men than he’s had hot dinners, which makes it all the more amazing that he has any moral compass at all, let alone one which so unerringly brings out that fierce stubbornness when marginalized people are threatened.  Being kind matters all the more when the option to be cruel is so much easier, when it has been nurtured more than kindness ever has.  It’s...amazing, so much so that Charles is appalled that so few others seem to notice.

Charlie's is startled by Arthur’s tenderness; he had worried that Arthur would mistake him for a woman, at first, that this thing of theirs would make Arthur think of him as something delicate in need of protection. But Arthur still relies on Charles in a fight, he doesn’t try to wade in and fight Charles’ battles for him - well, for the most part.  Arthur is protective of the things he loves - so when he picks fights on Charles’ behalf it’s less because he doesn’t think that Charles can fend for himself, and more because he is impatient to kick in the teeth of every bigot in the world (it’s a thin line to walk, and Arthur doesn’t always nail it - it’s been the subject of more than one fight).  But still, Arthur is...soft in a way that surprises Charles.  Even before they admitted to themselves and each other that this was more than an occasional hand beneath a blanket, that love was creeping up around them like a slow tide, Arthur’s hands were gentle on him, reverential.  There was more than one time Charles had feigned sleep just to enjoy the soft way Arthur carded his fingers through his hair, the way the pads of his fingers traced, unasking, over his collection of scars.  The types of trysts Charles had had in his past didn’t involve anything like that - that quiet, naked intimacy that only comes after the sex is done and heart rates are drifting back to normal.  It makes Charles’ throat tight, even as the rest of him goes soft and liquid under Arthur’s hands.

Because Arthur is white, is a man, and now has enough money that he and the rest of the gang are set for life, there are things that he will never experience, and in never experiencing them, will never really understand.  Occasionally, Arthur forgets there are places that won’t serve Charles dinner and he’s enraged when he runs across them, wants to burn down every racist, bigoted piece of shit he runs across.  But he doesn’t expect Charles to comfort or educate him about these inequities. Arthur doesn’t see himself as some sort of uniquely qualified savior who can liberate the oppressed just because he’s white and he cares.  He’s learned that the best person to solve those problems isn’t a white man riding in with a gun and a temper; that the desire to help is most effective when directed by someone who has lived under that oppression.  And so he listens when Charles speaks, and he learns.  

Arthur has been with women, has been in love before Charles.  That doesn’t bother Charles - not exactly.  But Arthur has a road map to love that Charles has never seen; Arthur already contains the spaces within himself in which love can be built and tended to - the sort of thing that only comes from experience.  Charles never had the chance for that, had never expected the opportunity, not when the world was already ready to hang him for so many other things.  He’d never anticipated love, not like this, not the sort of thing which was as terrifying as it was exhilarating.  And so Arthur more easily vocalizes  his adoration.  He has told Charles he loves him plainly, many times, unthinkingly calls him ‘darlin’ when he’s distracted or preoccupied.  He doesn’t even seem bothered that Charles’ own admissions are quieter, hidden within other words and deeds.  There’s no doubt in Charles, now, about how they are together, how deeply this connection runs, but that gentle, unthinking intimacy still steals his breath away, even twenty years down the road when Arthur is walking around the cabin hollering “Darlin’ you seen my new leather hat?  I swear I had it just - ah, never mind, there it is-”

They just - are in awe of each other, each the other’s wonder which holds the stars apart.  

[hasufin]

Sadly, still a better mousetrap

And Home Depot once again proves that Amazon has built a better mousetrap.

I wanted to get three things:

A lighted rocker switch to replace the one I broke on install

2x 3-way switches because whoever wired our house was definitely high and we have a couple switches wired for 3-way for no reason and I’m not gonna try to fix it.

Half a dozen downspout elbows because my in-laws have husky puppies who think everything is a chew-toy.

Anyway. Now, the sad reality is that in the field of home hardware the Evil Empire has already won. I cannot realistically get these things from a not-evil place. I can get them from Home Depot, or order them from Amazon. This is especially true in the pandemic in Fairfax county where we’ve got extraordinarily high rates so I’m trying to, like, not interact with humans at all if I can help it.

So, NBD. Jeff Bezos is right enough, I ordered these through Home Depot for curbside pickup. There’s a store just down the street. The next bit was maybe my fault: it populated the store, the store it populated looked right, I made the order.

I got the email saying my stuff was in. I went to the store just down the street, I clicked the link saying I was at the store. I waited. And waited. Fifteen minutes later, the store calls me and tells me they can’t find my vehicle. While the staff at the store where I am is just now informing me, having seen the order number, that my order is at the other store. Which is not particularly close to here at all.

I think confusing the Fairfax store on Fairfax Boulevard with the Fairfax store on Fairfax Boulevard is an understandable mistake.

So they’re all “Oh, well, you can just go to the other store to get it!” and I’m “No, that’s not going to happen.”

Can they get the order sent to this store and I’ll pick it up at a later point? No, they cannot. Can they ship it? No, they cannot.

Can they cancel the order and refund my money? Please wait. And wait. And wait... okay, that’s refunded. Now just go into the store to buy your stuff! No, that is not happening.

I ordered the lot of it through Amazon. It should arrive in the next two days.

This is honestly still the issue. Neither Home Depot nor Amazon are really contributing to the product here. I will get the same light switches and downspout elbows regardless. It’s just a matter of when and how I get them. And Amazon has made that part easier.

[6ad6ro]

nobody asked but here’s my quick review of arcade1ups final fight cabinet:

it’s amazing and i love it so gd much just wow one of my fav things i’ve ever owned. considering reg cabs run $2000+, these having multiple games and starting at $400 feels like a steal? tho realistically u can find em anywhere for $300 and they always go on sale. i got mine black friday for only $150. like $150 for an arcade cab!? holy shit yeah ok! it’s only 3/4 the size of a reg cabinet. and has an lcd instead of a crt. no heavy arcade guts bc it’s emulating. no coin slots/chutes. these prob all sound like cons, but realistically? these are all kinda good things imo. it’s light so u can actually move it easily (yeah have fun tryin to move a reg cab on ur own). it’s small enough to fit into a normal bedroom etc (u ever want the best nightlight in the world)? and u don’t hafta worry about replacing impossible-to-find arcade crt (also low power consumption thank god). the emulation feels perfect btw like i can’t tell the difference tbh... the games included are: “final fight”. obviously... which is amazing n my fav arcade game prob! “ghosts ‘n goblins”. which is great n another fav n perfect for this kinda thing bc it’s super hard? but u keep goin back to it to see how far u can get. then “strider”. which is just one of the coolest cap platformers ever. and finally “1944 the loop master”. which is a very good, pretty, and solid shmup. honestly i love all of these games and it gives the cab an amazing sense of variety. i might have wanted to swap out 1944 for somethin else, but i feel almost like i’m spoiled sayin that. it’s a fantastic selection! it has a nice on\off switch on top so u don’t hafta unplug it or have it on a power switcher etc! and it has a sound switch to swap between “silent, normal, loud”. silent is perfect to select a game n just run the demo mode (my fav part besides playin the games). normal is standard volume for playin a game. and loud is PRETTY dang loud? i assume thats for wantin to still hear it a bit if u wanted to have it in a room with other arcades or if ppl were hangin out. loud won’t blow ur eardrums out or nothin! n it only has one speaker but it works pretty well n sounds fine imo. the sticks are great. feel really good tbh! i’ve heard them called “good sanwa clones”. buttons are fine but not as good as the stick? no satisfying “click”. i’ve heard the street fighter cabs or the older 1ups had much worse sticks, but they clearly fixed it with their newer ones and w final fight in particular! i’ve had zero input issues so far with either player (it has two sets of sticks/buttons for 2 player). the cabinet aesthetics is amazing quality n they perfectly recreated the final fight cab art. it looks and feels like a real cab, but totally clean and brand new. IT’S INCREDIBLE! i’m glad they started including clear plastic covers for the stick/button area so u can even play w greasy pizza fingers n not worry about rubbing the design off. it’s all just exactly what you’d want imo. if i were to have any real critiques? it’d be the fact they have no way to access soft dip settings. meaning u can’t access things like difficulty? which when u consider they make street fighter 2 multicabs? it seems insane. that alone would make me rly consider not buying any of their fighting game cabs. default arcade difficulty is usually cheap as fuck. this should be fixed and i don’t care what excuses they have why it’s not in there. but the final fight cab (n i assume same for all their cabs) it’s set to freeplay. unlimited credits. so you can just manually decide how many “coins” ur willin to use at the start? which is honestly FINE and most of the games are super tough and perfect for this kinda thing. if u can have self control w self-limiting credits, it’s perfect. and anyone wanting to beat any of the games real quick still could just by mashing in credits. tho ghosts ‘n goblins is thankfully still set up to be rly challenging even w unlimited? i love it! obv it woulda been nice to have lightup coin slots n chutes? even if they were fake? but nbd. and i wish they had a few settings for aesthetics like scanlines or crt warping/wrapping etc? but again i don’t NEED that and the display looks great imo. you can still select a game and it’ll run a demo/eyecatch? but it woulda been neat if u waited on the game selection menu and it cycled thru the eyecatches. again none of these are rly mandatory changes. and tho access to the game settings (at least difficulty) NEEDS to be in later cabs? it’s weirdly fine to not have it with this game selection? it’s great  as it is, but just lacks little bonuses u might like. oh and sadly there’s no good way to softmod em yet, and there’ll prob never be a way on these? people already have good methods to use these cabs as a base for good retropie setups tho! it just involves soldering so i’ll prob keep this one standard (it only has two buttons per stick anyhow). it took me a few hours to set up alone, but it was kinda fun tbh? all in all, it’s maybe the best $150 i’ve ever spent on something i didn’t need. I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT! if u have the money to spare n can get it at a good price, and it has a game selection you’d want, i’d say DO IT. if they ever make one based around street fighter iii? i’d prob buy it even if i don’t rly have room! it’d hafta have difficulty settings tho like they need to figure that out geez... anyways! good purchase. love it. i just run it in silent demo mode all day like it’s perfect.

[bi-rezi]

LONG below cut, just cosplay thoughts, nothing beyond lists of what i’d need for certain characters and some rambling

the reason for all this is that the friend who went with me to geek kon last year asked if i wanted to go this year. i told them maybe because on the one hand it was super fun but on the other hand i have a job now, so we’ll see. any amount of this may or may not pan out.

for jasprose:

white wig

white face paint

fur? (just for cheeks)

white cat ears

purple/pink headband

long-sleeved white tunic (with purple/pink trim and puff sleeves)

white leggins with pink/purple trim

pink/purple socks

white shoes with pink/purple trim

the fucking, neckpiece thing

pink/purple party hat

fangs (opt.)

pink/purple contacts (opt.) (ONE EYE OF EACH WOULD BE SICK AS FUCK)

for davepeta:

so much god. probably not worth it, sadly.

for karkat:

new, better wig

loose plain black shirt (to add symbol)

plain gray pants - do i already have these?

teeth (opt.)

gray/red contacts (opt.)

ears (opt.)

for dave:

wig (throwback to when i had dave hair haha)

shirt

red contacts (opt.)

for rose:

new, better wig

white/lavendar pencil skirt

purple contacts (opt.)

for dead aradia:

wig maybe

horns - wire, tinfoil, yarn, paint

black t-shirt - cut up sleeves + slit in bottom hem

long gray skirt - cut up

red and white socks

black vans w/ white laces (opt.)

white mesh contacts (opt.)

ears (opt.)

for kanaya:

wig maybe

black t shirt

red skirt - make?

white face paint (opt.)

green lipstick (opt.)

purple sash with green stain (if white face paint) (opt.)

gray/green contacts (opt.)

ears (opt.)

for roxy:

wig

shirt

skirt

legwarmers

scarf (opt.)

pink contacts (opt.)

for dirk:

wig (and id have to style it, ugh)

shirt

glasses - probably part thrift, part make, though it depends on what kind of stuff i can find

i have a broken styrofoam head so its a pipe dream of mine that i sculpt that with clay into a semi-realistic severed head and then either carry it around as dirk with the sendificator over my head or as jake and kiss it occasionally, but i have a lot of different feelings over the latter lately so probably i’d do the former. either way, that’d be a lot of work.

for sollux:

wig (hopefully not same wig as karkat/kanaya/anyone else)

horns

shirt

gray pants

a pair of white shoes and a pair of black shoes (which is annoying as fuck BUT i could use the black shoes for aradia w the white shoes’s laces and vice versa for roxy so id be able to use them for other stuff. plus vans-type shoes are cheap)

red and blue glasses (probably make somehow??)

red/blue contacts (opt.)

teeth (opt.)

ears (opt.)

nepeta’d be cool but a pretty particular (purrticular) type of person (nepeta stans, basically, and i’m not one of those) tends to cosplay her so ill pass

for terezi:

wig

horns

shirt

glasses - make somehow

red shoes

red contacts (opt.)

teeth (opt.)

ears (opt.)

for vriska (pre loss of eye and arm because that shits hard):

wig

horns

shirt

gray overshirt

glasses

red shoes (preferably something that looks like converse but i could just use the same shoes for her and terezi)

i dont actually remember if i have good blue lipstick or not. i know i have shitty blue lipstick that basically doesnt have pigment but im not sure about good blue lipstick. in any case i know tricks for that but hm. not sure.

blue/gray contacts (opt.)

fangs (opt.)

ears (opt.)

equius... im just not really interested. i once thought about doing eridan but i dont like him anymore so nah. feferi... would be cool, but i think the skirt would be a little beyond my knowledge of sewing. i could do jane or jade but frankly i find them harder to emulate as a cosplayer and i could do john, jake, or dirk, but i just dont wanna.

for meenah:

braids - i wont make the mistake of trying to make them out of real fake hair again, i promise you that, i still have two seven-foot chunks of loose hair in the basement that im not doing anything with

trident - i literally have all the materials for this i just havent made it

glasses - make somehow/thrift a pair

shirt - the one i used to have is ruined (i know canonically she wears a t shirt but for some reason everyone cosplays her in a crop top, including me.) (i fucked up my shirt by not knowing how to work the printing stuff i got, like, the night before the con.)

tank top (depending on whether my current one fits me still)

horns - the ones i have are pretty much beyond fixing now so i’d have to start over. that’s fine though, i have plenty of materials.

teeth (opt.)

mesh contacts (opt.)

ear fins - i have these but i could stand to paint them pink since atm theyre purple, but otherwise theyre pretty close to perfect as is.

universal items i’ll probably need no matter what:

black and white t shirts (thats pretty much everyone)

screenprinting paper for dark or light shirts, depending on who i do

i have paint but having more wouldn’t hurt, and i might want/need white paint as well

fangs/teeth - for these i’d like to buy nice scarecrow fangs and use those and then maybe make some shitty mouthfuls of teeth with fake nails and that melty plastic shit

wigs - i’m willing to shell out a bit more for these as well. i’d like a nice short black one for karkat, kanaya, and if i ever decide to do jane, john, or jake, and though i have a long black wig it sucks pretty hard and i need a better one, probably curly, with bangs. though straight would be okay for most of these anyway. the only person who needs a medium length wig is terezi, and that’s actually pretty much true for all of hs, which is... too bad.

horns - i have a few pairs of horns already and PLENTY of clay to make more, but for bigger horns i’d need more than model magic. for aradia (and probably eridan and mmmaybe equius though im not doing either of them) and maybe vriska and kanaya (just to make those joints easier) id use the wire, tinfoil, and yarn method, but anything smaller than that i can use my clay. i already have peixes and vantas horns, though the peixes horns are broken and are resisting being fixed and the vantas horns don’t attach very well. i also have leijon horns in the works as well that were originally for davepeta. but id use clay to make vantas, captor, leijon, maybe maryam, pyrope, and maybe equius horns, and i used it for my peixes horns (though i didnt attach them well to the headband so those didnt go great).

contacts - i have actual regular contacts now, so now i wont have to worry about being blind ever. the next step is to get cosplay lenses (yes i know safe sites to get them from, yes i know my prescription and what size to get, yes i know how to be safe buying contacts). the best investement for sure would be a gray pair and a mesh pair, just speaking in terms of sheer number of characters. beyond that, it depends on who i end up cosplaying as to what color lenses i buy. for instance, if i decide on aradia, meenah, and dave, white and red lenses make the most sense. if i decide on rose, jasprose, and karkat, purple and gray ones make the most sense.

for any glasses, i’m going to be looking at thrift shops first and foremost. if i don’t find anything in a reasonable time, i’ll find stuff online.

i have probably two-thirds of a pot of snazzaroo, which will probably be enough, but if i decide to do a sprite or vampire kanaya, i’ll need white paint as well. plus if i decide to do more than one troll, i might want more gray paint anyway.

ears - i dont have any rn. i know a few methods to make them and a few places i can buy them but i’d probably end up making them anyway, mostly for cost-effectiveness.

as for money... well, i’ll do my best. i have an actual job now, and it’s pretty good. ive worked a lot in my first few days and ill keep working so even with taxes my paychecks are gonna be pretty sweet. id take commissions but i still have yet to consistently create any kind of art so im waiting til i can do that. also i dont have a way to get that money rn. nbd either way; i dont have any expenses besides this type of thing atm so its not like im hurting for money.

also i wouldnt have to cosplay only homestuck but a) im lazy and b) ive never loved anything the way ive loved homestuck so i kind of wouldnt want to betray my brand(tm)

(but if i wasnt going to cosplay only homestuck, which might be a good idea since idk how much homestuck the person i’d be going with is doing, i’d probably do taako.)

[cnisms]

ok wow... here are some v basic intros for beck, aja, veronika, bella, angel n natalya ! they won’t be super detailed bc... theres fricken 6 of them... some are longer, some are shorter, they are all ugly. but i do know my muses inside out so if u ever want me to expand on anything or fill in any gaps, just lmk. no stat pages for any of them yet, so i’ll list the basics in here. plotting ? yk what to do ! im me or just punch me in the face ! n ofc if theres specific plots u have in mind already just lmk bc as yall know... im always gonna snatch them up anyways (also ONCE AGAIN sorry for never replying to ims, i’m just a lot of foul moods these days n obviously it’s got nothin to do w yall so i wait... aka i get five minutes of peace a week... but i 100% always wanna plot n be friends !!! i WILL reply... eventually...) v brief mentions of miscarriage, drug addiction, neglect, murder n obviously death.

i lied i actually did start this ugli’s stats !! barely, but they’ll be here.

you will never met a bigger nerd than beck ever im tellin u now

had a nice childhood, parents are both scientists n lowkey hippies, v v v smart household. they were always more friendly than parental with him due to the fact that he’s always been (not super mature but) very intellectual.

grew up interested in everything. studied hard n fast. has graduated too many times. thought maybe the goal was to be a lecturer ? couldn’t pick on what tho. ended up staying to hang around his last university and instead tutors literally everyone in literally any subject. if ur muse is studying @ imperial college ? beck is their favourite tutor. srry it’s law !

just a nice guy ? unfortunately doesn’t have very many negative traits to him bc that’s just the way it worked out but he does talk a lot n has trouble effectively communicating anything he hasn’t studied so he may not always appear to be the nicest guy but ? he rlly is just a ugh jesse mccartney vc beautiful soul.

barely getting by bc how much can u charge uni students ? the answer is the minimum. he’s never been super materialistic or anything so it’s not a rude shock to him but his social life suffers (i mean he could find plenty to do himself but he is always rejecting invitations) due to lack of funds.

so boring.. so vanilla..

has to told be told to shut up or he will go for two days n yes it does hurt his feelings xx

megan ajala parekh (goes by aja), 22, cisfemale, panromantic, pansexual, listens to too much usher

was raised between the city n a farm a lil while out of town. had to deal w all of the divorce drama worse than either of her parents. they all cut each other off when she was 16 and she’s fake af making jokes abt it, acting like it was the best decision ever but she wasn’t prepared at all ? she was just couch surfing n surviving on birthday money from her grandparents n she was scared but v “no goin’ back now ig!” about the whole situation/

big mess ! also had no idea what she wanted to do but she was actually a huge flop education wise (no offense gf, me too) n ended up in a government programme n through that she just did whatever was recommended so she ended up in aged care n she loves it !

to be fair she loves everything tho so ? that’s not really sayin much. 

super excitable n ott. is always goin’ head first into everything.

as a result she’s also always exhausted n grumpy. one or the other. she can’t calm herself down n maintain a healthy lifestyle. it just doesn’t work.

lives in a disused hospital bc why not. she’s savin’ up for a nice van... to live in... that’s rlly where she sees herself.

except she’s not really saving up bc she’s the definition of headassery and is spending all her money on fast food and expensive sunglasses n hats that she will lose that same week.

i’m falling asleep but naomi scott is a goddess so whom cares 

veronika erikson, 40, cisfemale, biromantic, bisexual, old as mc’heck so she’s actually got a life for me to talk abt

born in denmark, was scouted at 16, lived between paris and new york after that, had massive success as a model. made money, set trends, still pops up in every other #goals pinterest board and #mood instagram tag. was an entire it girl back in the 90s but ! it was never fulfilling.

literally all she wanted ? her entire life ? was to be a mother ? nothing else ? modelling was a good way for her to make money bc realistically she wouldn’t have been happy doing anything that wasn’t raising her own children but she was never satisfied.

NEVER GOT HER BABIES ! despite marrying very young (she was v keen to start a family but she was also super in love) n immediately gettin into it and giving up her career at 23 to be at her prime health-wise, she had no success. suffered a LOT. the fact that the problem could never be identified was obviously super frustrating n stressed her the frick out ? the miscarriages my dude... she’d been through it n would tell herself not to get her hopes up but it was obviously always worlds worst heartbreak every time.

grew to resent her husband bc tho she knew he wasn’t to blame, she needed to put it on someone. never adopted or looked at other options out of (irrational) fear that she’d have the same kind of feelings towards any children that she didn’t birth herself so ! shit didn’t get better. it literally started 10 yrs ago... and it the negative feelings changed in intensity over n over but they somehow managed to survive 10 years n only recently separated so ! she got rid of everything n moved to london for a fresh start where she now flips houses bc she can ig n it gives her smth to do !

honestly would make the best mother ? she’s aunt to the yates siblings (hey huns) and always did the most for her fricken mini-me imogen. beautiful vodka aunt who brings gifts and gushes about u n is here to gossip but is ready to go off on ur ass if u force her to. won’t go around babying people but... if u give her the chance... 

that... that’s her personality... ideal mom in every way.

separates her private n public life very well but doesn’t share her important thoughts or feelings at all. generally a nice but passive person. 

courtney love tweeting about riverdale vibes.

arabella gomfrey, 23, closeted pan princess (literally a princess (cici is shaking)), sofia coppola’s marie antoinette

the whole gomfrey situation will be developed eventually but for now here is this.

they may not be, but bella is a v affectionate person. is wedged firmly up her entire family’s ass. loves her parents n lets them n everyone else know. rlly thinks they’re right about absolutely everything. will agree to n do anything they say.

will do anything anyone says honestly ? as long as it doesn’t come in conflict with what her parents want for her ? tell her to walk off a building bc it’ll make her parents happy n she’ll sit there stressing and considering it for hours.

won’t think for herself but still manages to be a major fake. only tells u what you want to hear, excessively sweet, will not be the one to deliver bad news ever hell nope she’s paying someone to do that for her. 

v cliquey n judgemental. her inner circle is literally just other pretty rich girls. 

loves the whole situation she was born into n has no shame. milks it. does the most. will throw a tantrum when she doesn’t get what she wants. entitled brat !

idk how but she’s the most catholic person you’ll ever meet ? the pope is jealous.

models bc she knows can do whatever the hell she wants without trying ig. just likes the applause.

angela (angel) rosado, 24, panromantic, pansexual, loves girls, Is Beautiful .

yea rosado as in the resort aha... nbd ... was adopted by the rich old rosados when she was 10 n has lived the good life ever since but before that . it was p ugly.

she was literally left on her neighbour’s doorstep when her parents got evicted from their home when angel was 6 months old ? they took her in but ! they struggled ! so a year later when angel’s mother was pregnant again n sorted herself out for a min n came back to claim her so they could be a family or w/e, the people who had been caring for her were obviously like um we rlly should not trust this bich with a baby but we’re abt to be kicked out ourselves so ... they basically forced this image of angel n her mother n the next baby livin happily ever n let her go.

her mother had another girl n angel loved her even tho she was tiny herself... she was (and still is dw her sister is thriving still) crazy abt this baby. she rlly could not love her sister more. their mother wasn’t clean for long, but their father was much worse. when he died 2 yrs later, she quickly worsened too. she was ill n not fit to parent at all but the girls lived with it for 4 yrs before they were taken away. they were told their mother passed away a few months later but neither ever looked into it.

it did not get any better ? in foster care they were bullied ... so bad. they would sneak off everyday to avoid it n then they got in trouble from their carers for doin that like ig you can’t win ! so they were gonna split the sisters up n angel was so ,,, dependent on her lil sister (n got teased for this bc her sister was literally tuckin her in and singing her to sleep every night as if she was the baby) n was not feelin too good about the situation my dudes !

anyways they snuck off to the library soon after n ig hit up The Google for a solution ? n they accidentally ended up reading some story on wtvr gossip site abt these hotel tycoons adopting for the fifth time. angel’s sister.. literally found rosado resorts’ business email . ASKED THEM TO COME ADOPT HER N ANGEL TOGETHER N TAKE THEM AWAY TO LONDON...

n it worked ? luv a (kinda) happy ending

obviously becoming part of a big, rich, sober family in a different country was weird n difficult once the excitement wore off but they made it work. her sister fit in better than her n their parents saw that ? n they noticed she was p much living off of her sister entirely ... but they were v good abt it, they put a lot of time n effort n love into angel n she grew to be THE daddy’s girl of the bunch. like he was good w all of the kids but they always had their (jealous) memes abt angel being the favourite. everyone grew up n moved on, still all v supportive of eachother. angel ? still living near her parents, checkin’ in everyday, still getting everything she wants handed to her.

doesn’t even pretend she’s effectively dealt w the bad memories of her childhood, just straight up acts like she remembers nothing except for her sister singing her to sleep. remembers everything n struggles with it everyday but that’s her business apparently.

likes to let u know that she knows she’s better than u ? better than everyone ? except maybe her sister n her father. doesn’t even like her other siblings. loves them yea, but she doesn’t like them n always starts drama crying to her parents abt how they don’t like her either.

kinda just a real snob yk what i mean ? she’s lit abt her work and her like.. total of 2 friends but otherwise likes to act real unimpressed all the time. 

u would think w the shit she’s seen she would be an understanding person but nope if she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t see it.

her parents bought her .. a gym .. for her 20th bday n she opened a few more in the yrs following that and now has celebrities up on instagram posing in angelfit activewear, pretending to drink her protein shakes, u know the deal. she’s v proud of herself.

UM OK WOW its 8am i’ve been working (slowly) at this whole post for 6hrs now n i just forgot i was keeping these short but i can’t pick which details to remove so u know what ? this one stays meaty. thats it tho i think !

also peep her nameless sister in case anyones lookin for muse ideas in the future :P x

N FINALLY... natalya nikolayevna belyakova, natasha works, 27, demiromantic, demisexual, cute ! dont know if u noticed but she’s russian !

these muses just get more n more extreme as u go down the list o wow n still none of them get a coherent introduction. especially natasha bc ? ok so she was raised by dirty money but ... criminal organisations in moscow ... lets not even get into it. let’s say they were big in weaponry.

anyway ! it was just her, her brother n her father. v close. they were weird, everyone knew this. she had no friends, even when she was living out of home to study. her social life was literally whatever dangerous dinner parties her father invited her to n that was it.

it was never that deep (AKA IT WASNT GROSS LIKE EVERY1 MADE IT OUT TO BE) she's literally just shy n angery pup meme. she’s the pretentious smart girl in every story ever who is like “i hate ppl... books cant stab u in the back” like ok relax who asked NERD but she rlly could not escape her family so might as well love them !

um ig her father had her mother killed when natasha was abt 8 yrs old. apparently she was havin an affair. her brother spilled the beans to her yrs later when he was mad at their father. she wanted to be horrified for a second but thought it would change nothing so there was no point. she rlly stanned her father huh ?

he dead too now rip. while natalya was away studying, every1 in their home... her brother, father, everyone workin’ there ... all ... got killed n then the house was torched quick. she knew business had been gettin uglier but this ugly ? [ mari vc ] ruined her fricken LIFE.

one of her father’s creepy old friends eventually had to let her know what happened n how everyone saw it coming or whatever like ok thanks buddy ! natasha’s rlly sad obviously ? doesn’t last long. now ... she’s mad ! now... She’s pissed.

so she’s come to blame this gang that’s heavy in london. she REALLY drops outta school, comes on over, worms her way into their major rival gang n WAITS. she’s been here . for yrs now . and is yet to do . anything ... despite being obsessed with the idea of revenge. she’s playing the long game and making sure she’s getting all the details right bc she’s like Well this is a suicide mission might as well make it count ! its sad but -.- what are u gonna do ? (rival gang subplot coming soon btw whew!)

keeps her desire for actual bloody revenge to herself bc she doesnt wanna look like she’s gonna cause trouble for anyone when she DEFINITELY IS. she only acts angry enough to have her >.> allies >.> belieb that she’s loyal.

obviously committed . obviously she needs some milk .

not a fun person ? unless u tryna die also. but she’s very put together, v professional, cultivated, charming ig when she wants to be, unfortunately adorable, v organized, um what else ? nothin. that’s that. thanks !

THIS IS SO UGLY I CANT BELIEVE I EMBARRASS MYSELF LIKE THIS BUT U KNOW WHAT ! [ CHRIS TRAEGER VC ] LITERALLY ! A MEMEY INTRO POST IS BETTER THAN NO INTRO POST ! GOOD LUCK WITH UR LIVES ! LOVE U ALL !