#(so either you are misinformed on what NPD is or may have some self-reflection to do)

[cluster-b-culture-is]

I feel like the entire population has MPD

???

[aspd-culture]

Why is it that people think that being kind or compassionate is incompatible with antisocial personality disorder? Even in some of our own circles, it feels like pwaspd sometimes think choosing to be kind or compassionate is like antithetical of our disorder and idgi. Like. I realize we all have our own sort of fucked up disorder but like.

The choice to be kind and compassionate is just a choice and it’s often the most sensible one, if you’re looking at it from a selfish standpoint. Like sometimes I feel like saying being sincere or kind or compassionate being incompatible with a certain disorder just feels like an excuse to alienate and dehumanize that disorder. Like it may not come easy to us but it’s still a choice and I feel like that still has value?

Also why do people keep using the self-awareness thing as a point against us. I’ve met plenty of people without our disorders (speaking generally of cluster b but especially aspd and npd) who have no self-awareness and plenty of people with our disorders who are painfully self-aware and are capable of self-reflection.

Also critical thinking is just a skill anyone can train and have and part of the skill of self-reflection is the skill of critical thinking, so if I am capable of being pathological to a degree of destructiveness towards others, how then am I somehow incompatible with being pathological enough to assess myself and others with a.. let’s call it, benevolent point of view. Is it not our responsibility to try and do better? It feels anti-recovery and dehumanizing to say that we’re incapable or inherently incompatible with those things.

I agree with basically everything you said here. It is blatant internalized ableism when voices in our community push the idea that we are unable to be compassionate and kind and self-aware in a positive way, and it is blatant ableism and demonization when people outside of our community (prosocials) push the same ideas.

Thankfully, it is not a large percentage of pwASPD who believe the harmful ideas you spoke about. It's another loud minority situation. Those type of posts gain a lot of traction and begin discourse, which gets pushed to the top of algorithms. I would argue much less people than it appears in the tags actually believe that type of thing, but because elitists tend to get more attention than most pwASPD do online, elitist ideas tend to represent us even when we don't want them to.

One part of this I think is people who are truly antirecovery. It is no secret that plenty of pwASPD are under the belief that they cannot, should not, or simply do not want to recover. Those same people tend to want others with ASPD to follow suit so they can say it's because of their disorder and not accept responsibility for the choice to be antirecovery.

Another part is definitely jealousy. Recovery is hard, hard work and it takes a long time, but it is easier and faster for some people than others, especially if you caught your symptoms earlier than most. Because these people either don't want to do or don't believe they are capable of the hard work pwASPD who are in recovery have done, they push the narrative that those people must not have had ASPD to begin with. This could not be further from the truth, and negates the serious effort those of us who are in recovery put in constantly to work through our trauma and biases to get to a healthier place in life.

A third place I think this may come from is misinformation spread by professionals. I myself have mentioned more than once my previous therapist who told me "people with ASPD don't seek help". The idea that everyone with ASPD is antirecovery or incapable of recovery is sadly one many professionals not only agree with, but actively push. That means that at least some people you see saying this probably got that idea from what should be a reputable source. Medical ableism is rampant against ASPD, and this is one way it shows.

No matter where it comes from, the sentiment is just wrong. PwASPD are responsible for recovering. It sucks, and it takes time, but being antirecovery is a guarantee you will hurt someone in your life in the future. That's just not acceptable. We can't traumatize others and claim it's a result of our trauma. We each need to learn to be at least a neutral force in the world, if not a positive one. It's not easy, but it's doable. I believe in all of you.

Like I said though, the antirecovery pwASPD are generally a loud minority, and do not represent the majority of pwASPD both irl or on social media.