#(said while suffering)
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nelkcats · 2 years ago
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Scamming the scammer
John Constantine was the biggest headache Danny had managed to get, ever. After becoming King he did not think that his first task would be to solve the man's soul problems.
And it seemed quite incredible to him that the hellbazer would consider selling his soul as if it were a used car that he wants to get rid of to buy a new one. He was aware that he needed a soul, wasn't he? That it was not possible to buy a new one? Because he didn't want to be the one to inform him if that was not the case.
To top it off, beings from different domains within his kingdom came explicitly to claim the British's soul, which didn't even make sense, there were thousands of souls! Why did everyone want the same one? And why did he have to be the one to take care of it?
Completely frustrated, he placed all the paperwork for John Constantine in an empty room and locked the door. He smiled as he came up with a plan to improve the situation, it might be worth it.
That's how a drunk John Constantine found himself signing a dubious contract in exchange for the power to turn any liquid into beer, he didn't bother to read the contract, most demons just wanted his soul and this guy looked so human, with a presence so light it must be a minor demon for sure.
This turned out to be a bad decision when the next morning he found himself trapped in a room full of documents, the door locked. Taped to the door was a green note that said "Enjoy doing your own paperwork sir, I hope you're pleased with yourself", and well, maybe he should have read that contract after all.
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deadpoetmagda · 5 days ago
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The way everyone now took up in arms blaming women and girls for the elections results and young men turning into the far right truly made something click in me, literally everyone and their grandpa is blaming women, even groups who hate each others are now bonding together like besties just to blame women, so excuse me for ranting on tumblr.com, this is gonna be long :)
What's been happening lately really opened my eyes to how hypocritical everyone is, what's everyone only ever good at is pointing their fingers at women and throwing the blame at us, misogyny and violence against women in all its shapes and forms since the dawn of time till these days didn't cause women to go out on the streets and murder men in masses, yet apparently misandry is real and some comments online made by the evil feminists were enough to radicalize young men and turn them into far right incels and are to blame for the elections in the US, women are always to blame for everything, I'm not surprised with this coming from men but to see women spewing this dumb bullshit too is so disheartening, to me you're no different than the conservatives who blame women for men's "loneliness epidemic" instead of encouraging them to start treating us better, teenage boys and men are shouting "your body our choice" at little girls and young women yet all you fuckers can take from that is that these girls and women are somehow to blame for it!!! A 19 yo girl typing I HATE MEN on her silly little Facebook page or reddit discord after years of nothing but stories of rape and misogyny in the news and in her neighborhood and her school and her home and literally fucking everywhere is to blame for men and boys being radicalized actually, meanwhile the internet is filled with men sharing rape videos and their violent fantasies about us and then they go out in real life shouting and smirking at us admitting how badly they want to strip us of our rights!!
Teenage boys are watching violent porn, men gang rape teenage girls, women and girls get trafficked, raped, beaten, murdered on the daily around the globe, it's statistically proven that husbands mistreat and abuse their wives on such a high scale even in first world countries, not to mention the daily misogyny and sexsism we face, men don't even need to get "radicalized", the majority of men out their don't want us to reach them and be "nicer" to them like you preach, they simply want power over us and to misuse that power, and women and girls who recognize this and see it clearly in the world we live in right now and the thousands of years of recorded history we have and not even to mention personal experiences are the ones to blame... for being aware of it and acknowledging it and demanding change!!!! How fucking dumb are you, or maybe you're just a pretentious hypocrite :)
No one's ever blamed these boys and men for me and other women to end up having radical feminism views, nah they're too busy calling us demented and mentally ill and lecturing us about how to treat men better lest we fail them and blaming us for everything wrong with the world!
Ever since I got introduced to radical feminism and found myself agreeing with some of its ideas and arguments I was always still critical and sometimes even wary of it and never really called myself one, but now if I get totally sucked into it and get "radicalized" myself it's actually all your fault, how about that? Congratulations, centuries of men raping us and creating endless systems to oppress us in unimaginable ways didn't radicalize me, you and your hypocrisy did that instead :)
Honestly fuck all of you dumb shitheads, you can't gaslight us into cuddling men while they keep beating us bloody, I've had enough!
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Robin never really got boys talk.
When Sarah turned 14 she invited all the girls in band for a sleepover. It started out fun. After her parents went to bed they put on a creepy horror movie and watched it in a huge cuddle pile. They braided each other's hair and did each other's nails and squeezed each other during tense scenes and muffled their shrieks after a sudden jumpscare.
After that they watched another one. This time Sarah sneaked her mother's makeup kit down to the living room, and so lipstick and eyeshadow joined the mess of nail polish, hair clips and snacks already on the floor.
The second movie was different. In the first one, the blood was obviously fake and the acting wasn't the best (to say the least). But the second one was tense through and through. The cries of pain were so visceral that Robin shuddered, and in the end everyone was terrified. It was silently and unanimously agreed upon that everyone had had enough TV for the night. It was already 3 in the morning, but tomorrow was the weekend and right now Robin wouldn't be able to sleep even if she wanted to, and thus began Robin's first real boys talk.
It was funny at first. Sarah pretended to die of heartbreak when "the blond hot one" was unfortunately the second to die. Heather said the nerdy one with glasses and abs was cuter, which started a very heated discussion of whether blond or brown is the more attractive hair color. Robin had to defend her correct "redheads" opinion all by herself.
(When the others got into a stalemate Sarah turned to Robin. "C'mon", she pleaded, "you know that the blond one was hotter. Just tell us which one you found prettier! And don't forget that this is my birthday party."
Robin laughed at the ribbing, played a bit hard to get, until she finally admitted. "I actually found the first one who died the prettiest." Sarah was already halfway through her victory dance, when Robin corrected her. "No, I don't mean the dude. I mean the first one. The girl with the pink purse."
Everything was silent for a moment.
Then Emma laughed. "You don't have to be jealous Robin", she consoled, "you are also very pretty."
"Yeah, especially after our makeover!"
Robin laughed and agreed and continued on as if her world just hadn't been turned on its axis. Because she knew that the stirring in her gut and the beating of her heart had nothing to do with jealousy. She didn't find the blond one hot or the brunet one cute. That was the first time she really knew it. She liked the girl.)
It was a bit funny the first time, even though she couldn't really join. It got less funny the more it went on. Suddenly boys was the only thing everyone wanted to talk about. And worse: it wasn't just unreachable famous boys like singers or actors anymore. Suddenly it was all "oh, Steve Harrington is sooooo cute" or "oh my god, Tommy Hagan had suuuuuuch a glowup" and "I want to lick the sweat of his body after basketball practice" (this last one was applicable to multiple different people, including Steve and Tommy. It was not applicable for Chrissy when she exited cheerleading practice or Beth after football.)
She thought it would get better when Emma finally confessed to her crush and they actually got together, but no. It somehow got worse. Because "normal boy talk" turned into "experienced boy talk", and Robin wasn't allowed to admit that the only thing that got wet when she thought of Billy Hargrove was her mouth, because he made her want to throw up.
At first she'd say that she didn't have crushes. After a while of people refusing to believe her (even if she was telling the truth! Sometimes.) she started pretending to be into Steve Harrington. Every girl had a crush on Steve, so it made sense that she'd been embarrassed to admit that she was just like everybody else. He was way too far above her league for her friends to force her to "confess" and she could stare without fear when he passed by in the halls with the beautiful Tammy Thompson in his arms. Truly, it was a brilliant plan. It didn't stop the boys talk, though.
So she became a tomboy. She joined football and she hung out with boys and she cut her long hair into a bob. She lost a bit of touch with Emma and Sarah and the others, but she tried not to think about it too much. Instead she threw herself into sports and started hanging out more and more with Matt, the second trumpet in band.
And that was that. Sometimes she missed wearing dresses, but it was a relief not to have her mother insisting she "do something about that hair" anymore. She and Matt became best friends. She even considered telling him for a while. Until he sat her down and confessed his feelings.
She tried to let him down as gently as possible, and they never talked again. The cycle would repeat for multiple times.
Someone out there is laughing their ass off because who would have thought that the dude she pretended to have a crush on would turn out to be the missing half of her soul?
It started out like always. She teased him, he laughed. They suffered through customer service together. He was funny and surprisingly in touch with his emotions and apparently babysat a bunch of middle schoolers, which was equally hilarious and adorable to watch. They both enjoy sports and they both hate Billy Hargrove with a passion and Robin is heartbroken because she knows she can't get attached. She has already been through this too many times to allow it to happen again. She gets close with a guy, they become best friends, he confesses, she can't reciprocate, they never talk again.
This is what is going to happen. She should already be used to it, but it still hurts. It's better for her to keep her distance. To encourage him to flirt with other girls, even if she can see that he mostly does it to amuse her.
And then they uncover an actual real life Russian spy network right beneath their place of work like some fucking blockbuster. And then they are pumped up with drugs and the next thing she knows is that they are both throwing up in a cinema bathroom.
And then it happens. Of course it happens.
He starts his little speech and her heart is already breaking. She surprises herself when she realizes how much she started enjoying Steve's company. He is a dingus, but she is also a dingus and they just fit.
She is already preparing her apology in her head (oh fuck work is going to be so awkward), but what comes out instead is what she wishes she could've said every time this happened. What she wished she could have said every time she got close to another person, every time her parents questioned if she finally found a boyfriend. Something she really tried not to feel ashamed of, but it was so fucking hard when you had to keep it hidden all the time.
(She remembers when she used to train in front of the mirror. She would stare at herself and repeat again and again "I am Robin Buckley and I am a lesbian. I am a lesbian. I am-")
She doesn't breathe as she waits for what she knows what comes next. What has to come next. There is a reason she never told anyone, always kept it hidden and to herself even if she wanted to scream it into the world. He will mock her and he will out her and he will be disgusted and-
"Tammy Thompson?!"
Instead they have girls talk. And Robin finally gets it.
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sonknuxadow · 24 days ago
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physical release gang we can do this we just have to be strong . said through gritted teeth
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casualavocados · 4 months ago
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That's enough! I can't stand you being this drunk. Fuck. Chen Yi— Get up.
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 09
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sillyfudgemonkeys · 5 months ago
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Kavik: Nooooo, she didn't! Rangi: She did! She stuck me in the ground and pranced off to do spirits no what! Kavik: Ugh, they really don't appreciate us do they? Rangi: She thinks I can't handle it! I'm her bodyguard, and a lieutenant in the military! I can do anything! But what I can't do is guard a body that's not there! And, she keeps losing pieces of it! I won't have a body to guard at this rate! Kavik: Does she have trouble sleeping too? Rangi: Sleeping. Eating. Functioning! Everything! I have to have Jinpa keep an eye on her for me! But she doesn't listen to him! Kavik: At least she listens to you sometimes! Yangchen doesn't like being told what to do. It's sooooo hard to convince her to do anything! I have to beg her to sleep! She's like a toddler! Rangi: They're both overgrown toddlers! Ugh, they are just the worst I tell you! Kavik: I know! E-especially when they get too-ahem- friendly. *starts to blush* Rangi, blushing too: I don't really mind them taking the lead tbh, just not when my face is busted up! Kavik, blushing harder: I just don't want it to be in the middle of an assembly! Rangi: Same! Kinda, we- Yangchen and Kyoshi, barging in:
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fromtheseventhhell · 9 months ago
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It's crazy that people still uphold show!Sansa as a well-written character and pretend that liking her is the pinnacle of feminism when it would be infinitely more impactful to acknowledge her terrible and misogynistic writing. This is the same character who, while written by two men, was thankful for the abuse she suffered because it allowed her to grow. The same character who we had to be told was smart because the writers were too lazy to develop or show her intelligence. The same character who had to rely heavily on the men surrounding her and ended up accomplishing nothing on her own merit ( and no, thinking that she deserved to be Queen doesn't mean that she earned it). She is not well-written, she is not complex, and she is not a feminist character. Which is fine! If you enjoy her then good on you, but please stop pretending that she's something she isn't just because you feel the need to justify liking her character
#anti got#anti d&d#anti show sansa#anti sansa stans#like literally one of the worst written characters on that show because they tried so hard to make her the most important#while being entirely incompetent and their only method of doing so was to steal from other characters which ruined the plot#the only arguable achievement was defeating LF but even then it's written in the script that she had to go to Bran to explain things#/she rallied the Vale army!/ no she didn't 😭 she wrote a letter to LF and he did everything. instead of showing her arc in the Vale and#her learning about politics to rally them herself they took the quickest route to give her a /badass/ savior scene#which only ended up making her look selfish + power-hungry for putting her brothers' lives at risk for not telling anybody about said lette#and idiotic in the aftermath after relying once again on LF even though he was very obviously manipulating her#/pawn to player/ sounds catchy on paper but without seeing that growth/development it doesn't work#Arya was terribly written but at least we /saw/ her training in a way we never did with Sansa#and people try to apply this same logic to the books and think she's gonna suddenly spring forth as a political mastermind#when that's not how George writes...we see characters develop and make mistakes on page and get actual earned growth#feminism isn't defending the writing of two men who gave her a rape plot not in the books because they thought it was /interesting/#when the only aspect of that plot they adapted was a woman suffering abuse :/#and as per usual with stansas their only /evidence/ of her being well-written is accusing you of being misogynistic if you don't like her
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skrunksthatwunk · 4 months ago
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kuwabara suffering during ep 89 for 10 minutes gay thumbnail + alt that was too complicated for the youtube
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starry-bi-sky · 6 months ago
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catch me looking up nightingale symbolisms for tales of the passerine. if danny's using the name of a songbird for a hero name, regardless of familial connections, i will utilize the symbolism tied to the bird. Anyways general gist of the nightingale symbolism i've seen, other than what wikipedia told me, is that nightingales were frequently symbolisms of spring renewal, loss/death, love, etc. catch me about to incorporate music into Danny's character
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#tales of the passerine au#musician danny ftw. as someone who loves music i am more than happy to make this boy a frequent singer. this au is still baby#i can squeeze singer/musician danny in pr easily.#some favorite lines i saw while looking for symbolisms is that nightingales in roman culture were associated with venus and were also said#to provide comfort in the hours of darkness. eh eh? i saw a summary that in chinese folklore they were seen as symbols of hope#it didn't specify which dynasty but it did say it was a famous tale. cite also mentioned that in John Keats' “Ode to a Nightingale”#the bird’s enchanting song transports the poet to a world of transcendent beauty providing a temporary escape from the suffering and imperm#anyways looks like nightingales in gist symbolize comfort in dark times among other things#while robins in gist symbolize renewal. celebration of life. good luck. rebirth.#nightingale's color scheme in my mind is very much a dark purple-blue and black. maybe some gray too.#he'll probably try and ditch the black and white just out of paranoia. argh i need to come up with a suit design nooooo. superhero suit#design is my weakkkest design skill. have to balance between practical and a unique silhouette thats in line with their character.#esp since danny's not using his ghost half to be nightingale -- way too risky. also not using his powers/using them very little.#maybe i can work in an ocarina batman reference lmaoo. i can lean into comic/cartoon realism and have fun with that. as a treat
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starcurtain · 8 months ago
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Post 2.1 Ratiorine Thought(s)
Under the read more because of 2.1 spoilers
Nothing really advanced or complicated to say; I did a lot of laughing and panicking and "Awww"ing during their moments in the story. (Tiny Aventurine, you will always be a legend.)
But the one thing I really, really hope fandom will latch on to is something that might represent a slight shift in Aventurine's characterization in fics... I was toying with this thought even before 2.1, but the patch definitely solidified it.
Rather than the one to jump straight into the (at least physical aspects of the) relationship, I definitely think Aventurine is much more likely to be the kind of person to hold himself entirely aloof from anyone he develops any genuine interest in--because literally every single person he has ever truly cared about has violently died, in acts of horrific misfortune which are directly tied in Aventurine's mind with his own "luck."
I think that the moment he recognizes himself having even the slightest bit of genuine feeling for Ratio (or any character people might ship him with, really), he would fold his cards like wet tissue and run for the hills.
Nothing good has ever come from him caring for someone, and every golden glimmer of his otherworldly fortune has been bought at his loved ones' blood price.
Aventurine doesn't take deals that aren't beneficial for him.
And there's no way he can survive another loss.
The more he actually cares about someone, the further and further a relationship gets from ever being in the cards.
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moeblob · 15 days ago
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explaining to a coworker I don't socialize out of work bc of The Anxiety. then later explaining why i have gray in my hair.... it's... still The Anxieties...... goin' gray since my early 20s........
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fellowfights · 24 days ago
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Y'all pissed me off so bad because of how shit you interpret disabled characters that now I am writing Mouthwashing fanfic. Look what you've done.
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fernsensei · 1 year ago
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you're in love when you see the colours of the sky in their eyes
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ahappydnp · 4 months ago
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I am rewatching the mukbang vid and I am so soft for Phil saying he didn’t want dapg to end ❤️‍🩹 The gaming channel is truly his baby
people give phil so much shit for being no thoughts head empty only vibes but the man just knows what he wants. he said "hey i really enjoy getting lots of money from having hehe silly fun time with my bestie"
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generalsmemories · 7 months ago
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every time i see someone shit on the xianzhou story quest on twitter i die a little bit inside.
#narus' corner#SO LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW EVERYONE HATED XIANZHOU BECAUSE EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHERS AND ANCESTORS HAD PULLED UP THEORY AFTER THEORY#AND WHEN SAID THEORY DID NOT FCKING GO ALONG WITH WHAT THE ACTUAL WRITERS HAD IN STORE HELL BROKE LOOSE#ion think u understand#maybe im biased. i probably am but the way hoyoverse tackled immortality with xianzhou is quite bittersweet honestly#YA'LL WANTED UR DOOMED YAOI AND YURI AND TBH ME TOO BUT THEY ARE STILL FCKING DOOMED EVEN IF SOME THEORIES DID NOT GO AS MOST SHIPPERS WANT#THEY STILL DOOMED MILADYS AND GENTS AND NONBINARY PEEPS DAN HENG IS SUFFERING FROM PTSD AS WE SPEAK.#u look at xianzhou and see predecessors suffering the consequences of what their ancestors wanted because of immortality and vow to stop it#because they been fighting people against GALAXIES who wants a taste of that immortality who also don't KNOW THE CONSEQUENCES OF IT WHICH I#LITERALLY GETTING MARA-STRUCK WHENEVER UR MEMORIES OVERLOAD FROM LIVING TOO LONG AND GO: damn this was shit writing cause i didn't understa#IMMA AAAH#eternal wars where when u find peace after winning you DON'T BECAUSE YOU TURN MARA-STRUCK FROM THE AMOUNT OF TRAUMA U HAVE#when immorality isn't immortality in a sense u can't be killed but long lifespan but then u can't even live said long lifespan#because u get mara-struck from participating in wars to protect AND YA'LL COME OVER HERE AND SAY BAD WRITING?!#and don't come with what the fuck is phantylia doing#ion think u understand how fucked we would've been if phantylia managed to actually absorb that ambrosial arbor AS A GODDAMN EMANATOR#OF DESTRUCTION OF ALL THINGS?! YA'LL WANT INFINITE HEALING WHILE GETTING BLASED OR SMTH!?!#and the aftermath which was probs the most hated on#imma just.#imma shut up LMFAO
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martyrbat · 1 year ago
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for when dc releases a new comic that mischaracterizes him again AND the humiliating ordeal of telling ppl that arent your mutuals that bruce fucking wayne aka mr cashcow is your favorite character
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