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fantastic-wizards · 2 years ago

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Albus could not be certain if he was ever the topic of conversation... at least in that manner. There were a couple of ladies on the staff who had made it blatantly obvious that they were interested once upon a time, but Albus did not have eyes for the 'fairer' sex these days. He had other tastes, and they were hard to ignore given his previous role with Gellert. That aside, he found himself smiling a little. He could imagine Sinestra or even Minerva herself casually inquiring about Corvinus' ring. Minerva would probably inquire out of sheer curiosity about her coworker while the others were fishing to decide their fate. A wife meant flirting was probably pointless, but if he was single? Well, all bets were off.

"This is probably the first time I've truly noted your ring myself," Albus replied. "I suppose its second nature to check for ties that bind if we are interested in more than friendship. I guess it just rarely occurs to me to look for such things, but it says a lot about our staff." Albus held up his free hand, studying it in the dim light. There was no ring about his hands, but was he truly single? In his mind, yes, but the troth probably begged to differ.

A silence ensued --- one that was far more comfortable than the one from last time. But he guessed it would be. The last time, they were awkwardly discussing Muggles. This time around, they were awkwardly shuffling around personal topics. It was quite the dance in comparison to their last but... Albus guessed it wasn't all bad. At the very least, they were both relaxed; a sign that perhaps they could coexist if the topic lended to it.

The troth... Albus looked down at it briefly, hoping it wouldn't become a topic of conversation. As a man of research, Albus had a feeling if anyone would know what it is, it was Corvinus. However, Albus wasn't probing him about the mistakes of his past so hopefully Corvinus would do him the same courtesy. No one would --- could --- possibly understand what Gellert meant to him at the time so he rather hoped he wouldn't have to be evasive or speak of Gellert. Just no.

Yet when the silence stretched for ions, Albus assumed they were merely going to carry on like this for now. Albus was more than okay with that except no sooner had he thought such things did Corvinus choose to speak again. Albus downed more of his drink and let blue eyes watch Corvinus, features void of anything telling. He wasn't sure where Corvinus was going with this but the topic had Albus averting his gaze, every so often. Indeed, wearing jewelry could have plenty of implications. He was waiting, almost with bated breath, for Corvinus to jump on him about the necklace but when his coworker spoke of MOURNING, well, that certainly changed the air a bit.

Albus looked to him briefly, noting the change in his demeanor. However, he would not comment on the matter. If anyone knew how complicated family could be, it was Albus. "You will soon find that I am hardly one to judge ANYONE about their private affairs, particularly as it pertains to family or lovers. We all have our vices, professor. Life... it comes for us all." He paused. "For what it's worth, I am truly sorry for your losses. The holidays are never the same without the ones we cherished most in this world. I get by, but I would be lying if I said --- at times --- that I did not miss having someone. Ah, but... tis a New Year. Who knows what this year may hold for us both?"

He raised his glass a bit. "Suppose we should toast to something. What say you?"

He managed a laugh at the other professor’s words, as dull as it might have been but still a laugh all the same. It wasn’t as if Salazar was OBLIVIOUS to his appearance though it did make him uncomfortable all the same to know students and probably some coworkers thought of him in such a way. Strictly professional, that was all he tried to be with a dash of charm so that he might blend in. Though, perhaps avoiding the festivities with Dumbledore was a bit of a stretch on ‘professional’ but he’d take any means to avoid the others. Just a moment of PEACE and some actual interactions before he had to get back to work and hide behind his facade once more until his emotions over the holidays passed.

❝ I’ve the feeling you used to be quite the topic of conversation then when it came to such things. Though it does explain why a couple of other professors have made a point to mention my ring. ❞ Though few took note of the ring beside it on his middle finger, an OUTDATED piece of jewelry that most probably weren’t aware of its significance any long. He was thankful for that. It let him pass by as a married man though it had been some time since he had really been ‘INVOLVED’ with anyone. More undercover, less likely for people to ask other questions about his personal life.

Green eyes flicked around the office, pausing just at the doorway to take it in. His own office was rather BARREN as was his classroom save for things necessary to teach. His personal belongings were instead kept in his chambers. So many collected items and ancient books, he’d rather not a student get their hands on the WRONG object that he was in the middle of studying. Far too dangerous and best left locked away unless he decided to use an item to teach with.

Albus’s office felt much more welcoming than his own though he did suppose it went hand in hand with him coming off as a ‘strict’ teacher. That and his newness had him hesitating to show anything personal to anyone else. This was comforting, open. As some of the students had remarked on their dark arts professor being and now he could see it. He didn’t feel ENTIRELY like an intruder into the space.

It was a moment before he was walking further in to take a seat at one of the chairs. He was leaning back in the seat rather than the more upright position he normally sat in. Far more casual and RELAXED in the moment. A mask thrown out the window for the time being though he still had to be cautious with his words. Careful not to let anything too important slip out during his moment of VULNERABILITY. As much as he hated being caught in such a state, there was some relief it had been Dumbledore and not one of the others. He might have been all too quick to snap at someone if they inquired about the wrong thing.

Oh. Oh, but they his eyes caught sight of the pendant. He’d seen similar ones before, all carrying with them either joy and love—— or a deep set REGRET. Blood pacts, nasty business. Something he didn’t even partake in no matter how close to someone he might be nor how it might aid him. Though he tried his best to hide the surprised, Salazar’s jaw clenched at the sight, eyes lingering perhaps a moment too long before they moved to meet the man’s face instead. But the thought lingered. In their previous conversation, the man had mentioned being on ‘both sides of the dark arts coin’ and now Salazar’s mind wondered. UNBREAKABLE, no matter how much time had passed. Salazar would dread it far more than the Unbreakable Vow. A physical manifestation of an often rash idea——

His thoughts were pulled back to the present as the glass of whiskey was handed to him. He blinked several times before giving a small shake of his head and muttered a ‘thank you’ as his hands wrapped around the cold glass. The sudden sensation against his fingers was a welcome on and a means to ground his own thoughts. Stay here, in this room, rather than led his thoughts wander.

Salazar listened to the other, his eyes now on the dark liquid in his hands though he had yet to take a drink from it. Holidays, they held nothing for him while the others CELEBRATED it. His were often left with sorrow and a longing for things that had already passed by. The ‘simpler’ times. The few times in his life that he had felt settled and at peace. But it was never to LAST much to his displeasure so it was something he had long since given up on. Life was a difficult journey when one was often alone. Minor connections here and there but always forced to leave before someone realised his lack of aging. Before someone connected the dots. Better to live in the shadows, especially with a name as SMEARED as his own.

There was silence for a long moment, the founder noting the open ended spot for him to speak though thinking of the correct words. Finally, with a deep breath, he settled on them. Transferring the drink to his right hand, he brought his other into view, the gold of both rings shining in the light of the fire. One was ancient, void of any gems though at one point had a crest carved into it but had faded away over the centuries. The other was old but far newer than the other resting on his middle finger. A black gem at its heart along with two pearls on either side of the gem.

❝ Jewelry is a most FASCINATING thing, isn’t it? A person wearing a ring on a certain finger and the world knows them to be taken by another. But they can mean all sorts of things. Some wear those to signify their families or status, some wear them for their allegiances. Some—— ❞ He paused, eyes moving to the ring on his middle finger as his hand made a fist to stop the trembling. Clearly the other was curious as to what could put him in such a STATE. A man so often poised with a silver tongue, of course his current appearance would catch anyone off guard when he seemed to take such pride in his. ❝ —— Some wear them to MOURN others. ❞ Once, there had been a wife. So long ago but he allowed many others to conclude there still was one. It was EASIER that way.

❝ My apologies on misleading you before on my family. It’s a very—— COMPLICATED matter. I simply don’t do well with the holidays. ❞

#fallencrowns #﹂ ʾ . ⭒ ❝ dumbledore — in character .#﹂ ʾ . ⭒ ❝ albus vs2 — chained by fate .

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sidespromptblog · 3 years ago

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What to Do?: Chapter 6

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten

Warnings: Angst, Remus Accurate Thoughts, and Hurt/Comfort.

Summary: Logan realizing that his first mistake was seeing the other sides as anything other than coworkers. They weren't a family. They didn't even like each other. How had he not realized sooner?

Word Count: 1,880

There was a moment where the silence felt like a ticking clock between the two of them, and then...

The moment of weakness was over in a second.

Virgil hastily jerked his shoulder away from Remus’ very touch so hard that the other side was sure that he nearly dislocated it with such a move, it didn’t stop Remus from raising an eyebrow at Virgil as the anxious side snarled at him. As if he wasn’t just weeping his eyes out moments ago, and as if Virgil hadn’t just looked at him like he was hoping that Remus held all the answers to his problems the moment he had appeared.

“What do you want?!” The anxious side spat out, had he fur Remus was sure that it would have been bristling like a cat’s. “Why are you here? Didn’t you ruin enough?”

Ouch.

That shouldn’t have hurt the way that it did, and yet… somehow coming from Virgil of all people, it stung in a way that dish soap could not. It was like… peroxide on a fresh scrape. Like it was bubbling and destroying each cell in its wake, not caring if it was bacteria or any normal cell trying to help.

That’s what this pain felt like.

For a second there was nothing to be said, not as he felt Virgil’s scorching heated glare that told him just how much the anxious side hated him in this moment. Although, for the life of him, he couldn’t tell if it was because he had seen Virgil in his moment of weakness, or… if Virgil was secretly grateful that he had come along when he did. Either way he could only blatantly stare at the other side for a moment, taking in how Virgil was holding himself, and just how he seemed to clutch at the papers Logan had given him like a lifeline so that he wouldn’t fall apart even more.

Speaking of Logan though…

“I wanted to see this all for myself, and to see if Janus was right.” Remus didn’t know it was possible for Virgil to bristle even more at Janus’ name. “To be honest… It’s kind of weird to see that he’s right, I mean.. I didn’t think Janus was lying when he told me about it. But I was sure that he was exaggerating in how Logan treated him.” It perturbed him, which he hated, because nothing was supposed to perturb him. He wasn’t somebody who got perturbed by anything! He was Remus Sanders, he was the one who usually did the perturbing, so this.. this wasn’t at all fair. “With dearl old Logic like this it's very unsettling... even for someone like me.”

For him it was almost impossible to not draw parallels to when it was him, Janus, and Virgil. And just like them, this felt all too similar to how Virgil was acting right before he left them, and as much as he liked to deny any sort of squishy feelings for the anxious side…

It was kind of hard for him to see it happening to Virgil in real time.

But be that as it may, “When it was you…” Virgil flinched, and even so Remus carried on. “There were plenty of warning signs that me and Janus missed and by the time that the point came around it was already too late to get you back.”

Virgil glowered darkly at Remus, having a feeling that the creative side was trying to point him in some kind of way that he couldn’t exactly see just yet. He didn’t like the kind of game that Remus was attempting to play with him, he already didn’t have a lot of patience when it came to this side, and now with everything involving Logan he had even less of it now. A part of him just wanted to hear it straight up, without any kind of nostalgic twangs in Remus’ voice. But another part of him… Well the other part of him couldn’t help but to agree, he had given Janus and Remus plenty of signs that he was starting to grow tired and that he wanted out of what they were doing. And when they had missed them at every turn, as well as the light sides as well...

He had simply decided to duck out, and save everyone the hassle of dealing with him in person.

That little reminder did little to ease his ire though, “Just what are you trying to say?” He growled sharply, not liking this one little bit.

Virgil felt his stomach drop as soon as the smile curved onto Remus’ face like a knife.

“Simple,” The creative side said with a bout of fake cheer, “That you all had plenty of chances to help Logan before it got to this point. And just like me and Janus, you all failed miserably at doing anything worthwhile.”

In an instant, Virgil rounded on Remus, his hands clenched into fists as a burning rage flooded his stomach and crawled up his throat. In that moment right then and there, he could have strangled Remus with his own stupid sash and he wouldn’t have felt bad for about it for a single second. His teeth bared themselves into a snarl, and without even thinking he took a step forward, almost talking himself into acting on the dark urge that made his hands want to move.

Virgil was a little more than pissed, “What would you know about any of that?!” The words he had wanted to spit out, he ended up shouting instead. “What the hell would you know about helping someone?! What would you know about making things better?!” His voice shook the pictures on the wall, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care that the others could hear him, and he didn’t care about the weird look of guilt on Remus’ dumb face. The only thing he cared about was pounding his frustrations through Remus’ stupidly thick skull until he finally understood and got it for once.

Since when had Remus ever cared about helping other people? Since when did he ever extend a thought that just wasn’t about himself, or making someone else’s day even worse? Since when did he care about anything that went beyond tormenting others with his weird thoughts, and the nightmares that he regularly gave to Thomas? Since when did Remus actually have single solitary thought that wasn’t going to hurt them in some kind of way?

As if reading his mind Remus extended his hand in an uncharacteristically placating manner, “Plenty.” He merely says, “Plenty…” Remus says, with a surprising amount of calmness. “I have regretted it every day of my life,” Here Virgil went still, the momentous amount of seriousness in Remus’ voice deserved that much at least. “I have always regretted that I didn’t do a single thing to stop you from leaving and even more that I didn’t help when you needed me to.” For a second he hesitated, delaying and deliberating on what he knew he was going to have to say next to Virgil. “And… I feel that this is also somewhat my doing too…”

It wasn’t that he was scared, far from it.

It was that… if he told Virgil what he knew and what he had done, that would be owning up to all of this. And that in some way all of the others could pin this on him, and not the fact that they too could have helped Logan not make the choices that he had made.

“How?” Virgil tiredly asked, “How could it possibly be your fault? You just said that we didn’t pay enough attention to his warning signs. I know that you were a dick to him recently, but I don’t understand how this is your fault…”

Remus’ fleshy insides softened at Virgil’s words, and at how much the anxious side seemed to want to absolve him of any kind of guilt. It was sickeningly sweet in his eyes, like Virgil knew he couldn’t absolve himself, so he could in the very least do it to Remus.

But it needed to come out.

He had to tell someone.

So, taking in a steadying breath he went on.

“I gave him the nudge,” He finally blurted out, he had never been one to keep secrets. So the truth had been pressing inside of him, like a stuffed animal full of too much stuffing. And upon seeing equally Virgil’s bewildered and shocked stare, and clearly not understanding what he was talking about. He went on before neither he or Virgil could stop himself from elaborating. “He was in the imagination after the fiasco of my plans had fucked everything up, he was angry, and sad, and just upset. I could tell that he was feeling a lot of things because clearly no one was listening to him, I.. I had ensured it when I ruined his schedule. And I had thought that he would just shrug the thought I gave him off, or he’d know that it was me…” Remus floundered for a moment, the taste of guilt strange on his tongue, “ I had only suggested that things couldn’t continue like they were, nothing else. But he…”

But Logan had gone with it, and hadn’t stopped for a single second.

Then everything else had happened.

He had not meant for the idea he had given Logan to get so out of hand, he was impressed, sure, that Logan was actually taken to it and was making the changes he wanted to see happen. And he was definitely impressed that he had broken under the weight of Virgil’s and the others’ woes certainly… but seeing Janus go numb on him, and seeing Virgil absolutely bawling his eyes out…

Seeing how Logan had reacted to Virgil of all people had made him so obviously apparent to the major flaw in what he had wanted to happen, he had thought, and hoped, that the others would apologize, change, and that Logan would go back to normal.

He had thought that just once he had helped, but…

“I don’t think that he’s going to stop anytime soon…”

It was a lot harder than he had thought that it would be, and it was even harder to see it happening to people that he knew and cared about.

Looking down at the anxious side he feared for just a moment that Virgil was going to explode on him again. That this time he’d actually lunge forward and wrap his hands around Remus’ throat, and choke the daylights out of him for causing all of this. He knew that Virgil had thought about it, hell every time he talked and caused trouble he could tell that it was something Virgil wanted to do to him.

But Virgil had gone dead silent, the look on his face unreadable by Remus.

“Help me fix this,” Virgil finally whispered, his body finally loosening as his fists unclenched, no longer full of murderous rage. “If you want so badly to help… then help me fix this.” After a second finally adding, “Please.”

That was something at least, no even more than that…

It was a start.

A better start than he deserved.

#virgil sanders #ts virgil #ts virgil sanders #remus sanders #ts remus #ts remus sanders #sanders sides #ts sides #ts sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #ts sanders sides fanfiction #ts sides fanfiction

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minniepetals · 4 years ago

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unlove me, i dare you | 02

— summary: it wasn't meant to be. you're only a burden

— pairing: bts x reader

— genre: angst, fluff, office!au, break up!au, exes to lovers!au

— word count: 7.1k

— warnings: just little moments of heartbreaks y’know?

— part 1

There are moments when you feel as if you'll just break. Fall from the tip of a counter, shatter against the hard floor, and break into little tiny pieces.

It hurts more than you can imagine, hurts more than words can ever convey. You hadn't known that telling them you weren't in love, saying such a lie out loud for them to hear, would tear your own heart right out of your chest.

Your heart aches and aches, throbbing in pain, begging for you to do something, anything, for the knives to stop stabbing right in and hurting you even more.

But what can you do? This is all your fault.

The break up is your fault.

And though you hope you can just ignore them at the workplace, it is almost close to impossible. They're the executives after all, your bosses, the ones who owns the building you work in.

It isn't easy to try and avoid them, it isn't easy at all. Because every time you walk in the halls, someone is always around. Sometimes they come in twos, sometimes they come in threes, sometimes, one time, they even come in seven altogether.

Yet you refuse to look up whenever you feel their presence, pretending to be coldhearted, acting as if you have no heart, as if you aren't the Y/N you once were. And perhaps they do hope to say something, to drag you into an empty room, to talk things over, to try and understand why.

But there isn't anything to explain.

You've broke them, telling them you weren't in love, lying to them about a truth you were too afraid to come face to face with. So of course they don't try to approach you.

Why would they?

After all, you're the one who said that you didn't love them after Jungkook confessed.

They're hurt.

But you know that eventually the feelings will come to an end. Maybe Jungkook is just confused, maybe they're all confused, so you try your best to avoid them as you work, knowing things will pass and they will forget about you in time.

It'll hurt because you know it won't be easy for you to forget the seven of them, because it'll be easier for them to forget about one person, someone who had walked into their lives and is destined to leave.

They were happy before you came into the picture, they'll be happy after you leave.

But still, you have to admit that it hurts.

It hurts to see them in the hallways or meetings. Hurts as you avoid any conversation that brings them up unless absolutely necessary and important. Hurts to see other girls flocking around them and acting all flirtatious.

You don't understand what they see in you. You're shy and introverted, always left in the shadows of the crowd, never brave enough to stand up for yourself, never brave enough to speak up. There are so many other girls who has style and personality. They know what to say, know how to respond to flirtatious comments. They know how to doll up to impress others.

And yet it's you they want.

So you find yourself asking, why you?

"Minyoung please, I know something is wrong with Y/N."

She looks up at him with a knowing face that falls sad to the floor, not knowing how to respond as the CEO of the company is asking something of her. Normally she will answer to anyone above her level but this is about you, her best friend, so she hesitates on her words.

Namjoon's brows furrow, knowing completely well how conflicted she must feel but he has to know. "I know Y/N, she isn't that cruel. I know she wouldn't just...pretend she had something for us and fake her happiness like that. Y/N is sincere, I know her. She..."

Or perhaps he thought he knew you.

But as days pass by and he's trying to figure everything out while the rest of the boys try to hold themselves up after that day, it becomes harder to try and understand everything.

Did you really mean what you said?

You don't love them. Okay, sure, he can take that, but you're Y/N, you're kind and gentle and sweet and he knows you wouldn't just break things off if you weren't sure whether you loved them or not.

You'd talk to them to try and figure things out.

"Please, Minyoung..."

He doesn't know what to do anymore. It hurts, the aching in his heart, watching you from afar, watching as you try to avoid anything that has to do with them, watching as you refuse to acknowledge their presence. He hates how things are, knows the boys have fallen hard and he has too, knows how hurt you've left him and the guys.

But still he has to know, has to know if you're alright, if you were lying. He has to know.

"Are you asking me as a boss...or as a man?" She asks him and he considers his answer.

"As a man," he tells her. Sincerely.

She lets out a sigh, brows creased. "Then I'm sorry to say, Namjoon-ssi, but I cannot answer your questions for my friend."

"You're going to this company dinner whether you like it or not!"

"What's the point?" You ask her as you heave out a sigh, bringing your knees up against your chest to hug your arms around it and prop your chin up. "It'll only make things worse, Minyoung. I'm trying to get over them, not fall even more."

She knows how you feel, your insecurities getting the best of you and wants to make things right again. But Minyoung also understands that she isn't the best person for you to hear compliments from. It's them that should reassure your feelings. But they have no idea about your true emotions, thinking you broke up because you lost interest.

She can still remember the broken face the CEO had on, a first for her to see him in such a state.

He was broken, hurt, and just so very confused.

So seeing you and hearing the sadness of your tone, Minyoung sighs.

"Come on, bubs, I don't wanna go alone and be lonely," she pouts, practically whining.

"Youngie, you're gorgeous, you won't be alone for long, trust me."

"But I wanna hang with you~" she drags out. "Come on, tell me when was the last time we got to hang out?"

You sigh. "Look, I'd love to hang but I can't go there. Not at the company dinner."

Yet the longer you refuse, the more consistent Minyoung is, whining and pulling at your arm with a pout, showing no signs of giving up so eventually you have to give in.

How can you ever say no?

Your arrival doesn't fly past their views, a sight they hadn't expected to see that night. But there you are, with Minyoung by your side looking a little conscious as your best friend tries to tell you to feel otherwise.

And she's right because you are stunning.

You've always been stunning but the dress and light makeup you have on makes your beauty pop a little more. You wear a pretty rose gold dress that falls just above your knees with off the shoulder straps, hair falling down behind you in an elegant manner. You avoid looking around, something they feel they know the reason to, and their heart aches knowing they can't just walk up to you and tell you how beautiful you look.

"I'm gonna go outside for a sec. The music is getting a little too loud."

Even if that was true, it isn't the exact reason why you're heading out but you can't tell Minyoung that and have her worrying about you when tonight is a party and she wanted to have fun. You can't ruin her good time so when she nods at you to go on, you leave without another moment of hesitation, not bothering to look anywhere else but the way that leads to the doors outside.

The night breeze is chilly when you head out and begin to regret not bringing a sweater to keep you warm.

You don't know how long time has passed but you're sure it's passed long enough with the stars twinkling up above.

It reminds you of that time with you, Namjoon, and Seokjin. A late night after staying up past work time, collecting datas and writing up reports. But you shake your head to rid of the thoughts before you become too invested into it, knowing it won't be good for your poor heart. The breeze is cold and you hug yourself, leaning against the wall of the building as a sigh escapes you, just waiting for time to pass until Minyoung finally feels like leaving.

"Lonely tonight?"

You almost flinch at the voice but keep yourself calm as you look up to find a stranger who looks sort of tipsy.

"Uh..just needed some fresh air," you respond with a tight forceful smile, eyes avoiding looking into his because you know he's up to no good.

You're scared.

Should you walk back in? But wouldn't that be rude? But this is about your safety.

You don't know what to do. You can't even make up an excuse about being taken because you aren't.

You're single and lonely and heartbroken.

"Looks like you need some company," the man notes but you shake your head, cringing.

"I'm alright," you promise.

"Nah, I'll just stay right here," he decides and leans against the wall, body coming closer as he blatantly stares at you. You shift away uncomfortably but he takes your wrist and has you flinching.

"Please don't."

"Oh come on, don't be scared," he urges but you're already trembling. "I won't bite, I promise." A smirk curls along his lips. "Unless you want me to."

Someone wraps their arm around your shoulders, pulling you back flushed against them as he forcefully pushes the drunken man back to stumble upon his own two feet. "She doesn't want anything to do with you," he says in a low demanding growl.

You know that voice and your heart begins to beat rapidly.

Yet at the same time, it throbs with pain.

"Sorry man, didn't know she was taken," he slurs his words and leaves not a moment too soon.

You aren't taken but it feels a little better knowing that can be an excuse to have that man leaving. You look up at Hoseok who refuses to look away until he's sure the man is gone before he looks back down at you.

"Sorry," he coughs awkwardly as he takes his hand off you and pulls away.

You already miss the warmth.

You look down at the ground, too afraid to meet his gaze. "Thank you."

"Yeah."

It's awkward, not knowing what else to say and the breeze passes by again, making you shiver at the cold.

Hoseok takes off his suit jacket without hesitation and drapes it over you to help you keep warm. It smells like him. Smells like them.

"You should head back in, stay with Minyoung," he says and then strides off, the heels of his shoes clicking as he walks away.

What Hoseok doesn't know is that the reason you left in the first place was to stop yourself from hurting while watching them surrounded by so many girls begging for their attention.

"Y/N, how'd you do it?"

"Hm?"

"You know," the girl shifts from side to side with a pretty grin that makes you uncomfortable, "how'd you manage to have them date you?"

Oh. "Sorry but I-"

"Why ask her that? She was clearly dumped."

Not really but it still hurts hearing that part of the story. Perhaps if you hadn't ended things early, maybe they would have been the one to call things off in the future.

"But she was still able to date them so I want advice!" She turns to you again, mischievous, a smirk curling at her red lips. "Did you..you know," they both chuckle knowingly, "seduce them? How'd you do it? I want tips. What should I do? Wear more revealing clothes? Wear more makeup? But then again you're kinda plain so maybe I should go for more subtle looks? Do the bosses like the boring ones more?"

Ouch.

"Hey! Stop harassing Y/N!" Minyoung is quick to pull you back behind you as she steps up boldly with piercing eyes at glares at the girl.

"What? I'm just trying to get myself some men," she says as if those words that were spoken to you had no ill intentions.

"Well do that somewhere else. I will not have you belittling my friend."

"I'm just telling the truth, what's wrong with that?"

That fuels your friend's anger. "Oh I'm gonna-"

But you take her arm, pulling her back. "Youngie, it isn't worth it."

"Oh hell no! How dare she-!"

"What is going on here?" The voice makes everyone in the room turn still and tense, knowing exactly who it is.

You and Minyoung turn around as Seokjin walks up towards the group, your heads falling forward to the floor in shame.

"Well?" He prompts, a brow raised and expecting an answer.

"Minyoung and Y/N were bullying me," the girl says and it makes Minyoung want to lash out but you're quick to tug at her arm before she can do so.

Seokjin turns to the two of you. "Is that right?"

Your friend is about to answer when you pull her back, head suddenly perking up to stare straight into Seokjin's eyes and say, "Yes, it is."

You want to know what he'll say to that.

Will he believe you? Or see it as a clear lie like that time you told them you didn't love them back?

His eyes widens a bit at your unexpected reply but eventually Seokjin lets out a sigh. "You may go," he tells the girl and Minyoung.

She leaves feeling as if she's won while Minyoung gives you a silent comforting stare before going.

The room remains quiet for a while as you avoid his gaze once more, not knowing what he'll do or say. Surely he knows you were lying, right? But then again, even if you weren't, what will he do? Punish you? Tell you that you're a disappointment and a failure like you know you are?

"Are you okay?"

Somehow he only manages to make your heart race yet ache again at the same time.

"Yes," you reply though in a whisper.

He doesn't say anything else so you take your little bow and leave without another word, knowing that being in the presence of him, in the presence of any of them, you'll feel like dying because it hurts so much.

You've fallen asleep again but when you're awaken, it isn't Namjoon as you expect for it to be.

It's Jungkook.

He wakes you though avoids your eyes for his own sake and you thank him as you begin to clean up.

But something goes wrong, something goes terribly wrong. Your vision begins to grow blurry, head pounding with a throbbing pain and your legs almost gives in under you.

"J..Jungkook..."

You don't know what happens after that.

His phone rings while he's watching you with a silent gaze, mind running all over the place at just the sight of your sleeping face alone.

"Yeah, hyung?"

"Why aren't you home?" Yoongi asks with worry. "Are you alright?"

"I had to take Y/N to the hospital."

The other line goes into a panic. "What?"

"She passed out about an hour ago and the doctor says there's clear signs of insomnia." His voice begins to break, eyes forming with tears knowing you hadn't been taking good care of your own health for whatever reason. And now here you are, passed out and so, so tired. "She's been neglecting her health for days, hyung, I don't...I don't know what to do. I'm scared, hyung. Y/N looks so weak and fragile I don't want her to keep going like this. Don't you think...don't you think there are other reasons as to why she broke things off?"

He wants to have hope, to feel as if he's still needed in your life and that you still care as much as he does for you.

Jungkook is scared.

So scared.

"Maybe we weren't treating her well, maybe..maybe she felt too insecure and was afraid our love wasn't enough. I don't know, hyung, I'm just so scared."

"Stay right there, Jungkook. We'll be over in a few minutes okay?"

You never expected to wake up in the hospital, needless to say in a VIP room. But here you are, eyes slowly adjusting to the light of the room where the sun falls in through the windows, waking you up.

You groan a little and feel a hand weighing against yours.

The man instantly looks up at the sound of your voice, breath hitching, and you find Jungkook's eyes filled with worry and pain.

"Y/N!"

Y/N.

Gosh you miss how he calls your name.

Before you can ask him why he's here and why you're in a VIP room, he climbs into the bed without a word, straddling you and pulling your body flushed against him.

"God I was so scared," he lets out a shaky sigh and you can feel the trembling of his body against yours.

He's so strong, always working out, muscles firmly holding onto you with no signs of letting go and it breaks your heart knowing he still scares oh so much for you and your wellbeing. But why? Why would he still care so much? Why would he begin crying uncontrollably? You've hurt them so much, hurt him. When he told you he loved you, you only responded by ripping his whole heart out and tossing it to the floor as if you had no emotions whatsoever.

Yet here he is, right there when you collapsed, right there to bring you help, right there as you woke up.

Right here to care as he's always done.

You don't get it.

"Jungkook..-" You pull away guiltily, pushing him off so that his arms can no longer wrap themselves around you with eyes that refuses to look into his. "Please stop. We..we're over and-"

"I know why you did it."

You look up, confusion clear on your face. "What?"

"You're scared," he says, hurt still in his gaze, painful tears of the rain falling but he wipes them away. "I know you're scared, Y/N. You're scared of falling in love because you're not sure whether we'll make it or not, because you think that we'll one day stop loving you. But I have to tell you this, Y/N." He takes both your hands, squeezing it tightly but not too much because he's afraid he'll hurt you. He looks into your eyes, his own so red and glossy, nose and cheeks flushed from crying, and a few more tears slips.

"Love is about taking risks," he tells you. "It's about not knowing if things will end in vain or you'll spend the rest of your life with them yet still risking it all because you love them." He releases a hand, opening one and placing it right at his chest, right above his heart. "Break my heart, Y/N. Break it, tear it, rip it into tiny pieces. Hurt me as much as you want to. Just..!" He hiccups, face distorted with so much pain it's tormenting seeing him like this.

"I love you, Y/N. I really, really love you." You remain silent but he keeps going. "I don't care how much you'll hurt me, I don't care how many times you do it just..please," he begs and begs over and over, "please don't leave me. Please don't leave us. I love you so much that it hurts but I'd rather feel this than to see you beat your own self up thinking you aren't good enough and that you will never be good enough, always thinking less of yourself and not understanding how beautiful and perfect you are.

"Please let us love you." He wraps his arms around you again, head buried against shoulder. "Let me love you. I will love you until the end of time. I will love you while you learn to love everything about your own self."

"You told them?"

"I..." She hesitates, her teeth clenched with a slight guilt as she scratch the back of her head before letting out a heavy sigh. "Y/N, I just...I can't keep watching you destroy your own self like that," she tells you. "You are so much more than what those people think, so much more than what you think. And I didn't want them thinking the only reason you left was because you fell out of interest. You're scared, I know, but Y/N," she walks up to you, taking your hand with a pleading expression plastered on her face, "their love for you isn't feeble. I know you're afraid, thinking they deserve more but trust me when I say this,"

She squeezes your hand, a gentle smile curling along het lips. "You are more than enough. More than just kind and beautiful and perfect and sweet. You deserve the whole world but the world will never deserve you. And I think that they're the only ones who can truly show you that. Give this another chance, hm? You'll never find yourself any other boys like them who are so willing to do everything if it means having you by their sides. They love you, Y/N, they truly do."

Three little soft knocks and it's accompanied by a light grunt.

"Come in," the voice grumbles and you worry that perhaps this isn't a good time.

But you stop yourself, knowing that hesitation and overthinking will only make you crawl back into your little hole and you cannot have that. So you take a deep breath, in and out, though it is shaky, and count one two three, fingers clutching the familiar suit jacket in hand, before you twist open the door to let yourself in.

He doesn't look up to see who is there, eyes too focused on the screen in front of him, brows creased with concentration, fingers tapping away. You feel so nervous. "What is it?" The man asks and you find yourself holding your breath.

There is a moment of hesitation before you speak up. "..Mr. Jung, I've come to return the jacket you lent me the other day."

His head is quick to snap up, fingers frozen, eyes widening as he realizes that it's you.

You think your heart may explode with how hard it's beating against your chest, slowly, loudly, and it's hard keeping eye contact with him because he looks like that, handsome as ever, so your eyes are the first to look away as always. Though this time for a different reason.

Maybe.

You swallow a lump in your throat as you can hear his footsteps walking your way, feeling the heat of your body radiating. You hope you aren't blushing because his room has very good lighting and right now you don't want to handle having him see your flushed cheeks.

"Y/N."

"U-um.." You start panicking at how close he's coming, taking a step back to try and give space but Jung Hoseok only steps forward when you walk back until your back hits the wall with a thud and he's right there, placing a hand right next to your head.

"Can you look at me?" He asks softly. "Please."

You don't do as he asks so he lets out a little sigh, a hand coming up to your face for his forefinger and thumb to caress your chin. When you don't resist, he lifts it up with ease as you clutch onto the jacket in hand, hugging it tight against you, awaiting the moment when you have to look up to him in order to meet his gaze.

Your heart skips a beat.

Yet it also throbs at the sight of him.

He leans in without a word, so slowly, and you don't find yourself pulling away.

Jung Hoseok hesitates for the first time, lips just inches away from yours, lids fluttering almost closed but he still watches you from his hooded gaze, waiting for you to pull away and tell him no, that you don't want this, that you still need time to figure everything out now that they know the truth. The real truth.

Though the three words are still on the tip of your tongues, waiting, hoping, wishing.

Can he say it?

Can you?

He closes the distance and you feel soft, soft lips on top of yours. The jacket falls from your hold and your heart flutters and throbs at the same time, a kiss that had been waiting too long, a kiss you hadn't expected when you walked in but welcomed, a kiss that leaves so sweet yet too quick for your liking because Jung Hoseok pulls away.

You watch him carefully. His face crumbles with pain, eyes closed shut, head falling to rest against your shoulder as you hold your breath, not really sure if the kiss really just happened or not.

He snakes his hands around your torso, pulls you in flushed against him, and holds you.

He holds you, and holds you, and cries little whimpers that makes your own chest tighten as tears fall on their own accord.

You stay like that for a while before he pulls away, sniffling and looking away, refusing to let you see him with tears as he wipes them away. He clears his throat and picks up the jacket that had fallen on the floor, back turning your way as he heads for his desk. He drops the flimsy thing onto the table and just stands there, silent for a few more seconds.

"We still need to talk about...what's going to happen." You nod though he can't see it. "We should have some time in about three hours, will you come then?"

"..Yes."

He dismisses you and you leave without another word.

Minyoung is there a few doors away, looking at you with a questioning gaze as she hugs your arm while the two of you walk back to your cubicle. "So..how'd it go?"

"I...don't know. I honestly don't know."

And so the three hours await.

But you don't come.

Ten minutes pass and another five. No sign.

It pains them thinking that perhaps you really don't want to fix this. But they're too persistent and their love for you is too strong to just give up like that.

So Yoongi sighs as he stands. "I'm gonna look for her."

Taehyung and Jimin follows him out the door.

"Stop it, get away!" They hear a familiar voice a floor down and run over because if Minyoung's shouting and feeling pissed then that must mean it has something to do with you. "Y/N, it's okay."

"What the hell is going on?" Yoongi quickly intervenes in on the scene as they run to your side who's looking so small as you cry.

"Y/N?" Jimin calls, worried.

"What did you do to Y/N?" Taehyung demands as he glares at the man, waiting to just rip his head out.

"Nothing! I promise!"

"You were flirting with her and tried to touch her!" Minyoung shouts otherwise.

"What's wrong with that?" He scoffs. "I just touched her shoulder, that's it."

Yoongi pushes the man in an instant. "Some people hate it when people touch them!"

But you let Jimin hold you, let him pull you into his arms as you cry into his chest.

"You're fired."

"What? But-"

"Leave."

He huffs and glares your way before stomping off, leaving Yoongi and Taehyung to turn back to you.

"Y/N.." They know you get scared when strangers touch you and an angry sigh leaves Yoongi's lips.

"Y/N?" Your friend worries but Taehyung puts a small pat on her shoulder.

"We'll take care of her," he tells her with a thin smile and she knows she can trust them.

They're fretting over you the second you walk in and see the tear stains on your face.

"What's wrong? What happened? Are you alright, baby? I mean..!" Jungkook mentally punches himself on the face. "Not baby! I mean, unless you — wait no, this is more important right now! Are you okay? Do I have to kill someone?"

You giggle at him and it's something that makes their hearts skip a beat, a sound they hadn't heard in such a long while. "I'm okay, I promise," you tell him sincerely. "I'm sorry for being late."

"You have no need," Namjoon says as he takes you to sit on the sofa while Seokjin hands you a cup of tea to help you calm down. "Take all the time you need," he tells you and honestly, you don't want to take up anymore time than what's already have been wasted.

But you're unsure of what to say, feeling so small as you take a sip of the tea and they watch you carefully.

You flush under their gaze, eyes falling to the floor. "Don't do that," you say in a soft whisper but they hear you. They always do.

"Do what?"

You shift a bit uncomfortably at Taehyung's question. "You know I hate that."

Jimin chuckles. "More like you're just too shy."

"..Perhaps."

"So.." You gulp at the words that comes out of Hoseok, knowing this is the beginning, and start to feel even more nervous. He lets out a soft sigh as if he understands. "We just want the best for you, Y/N," he says. "Whatever happens, whatever you want, whether it means getting back together or just completely and officially ending things but on an understanding term this time," he takes a moment, "we're willing to comply to whatever."

"But we still want you to know that we'll always love you, Y/N," Jimin vows. "We love you for the person you are whether you think that's believable or not. It isn't hard to love you. You're sweet and kind and gentle and always think of others at all times."

"You think you're selfish? Oh baby," Seokjin sighs, "you are anything but. If anything, you're the most sweetest person we have ever met. You don't have to give us anything, I promise you, just your care and heart, which you've already done such a good job when we were together."

"And to know that you felt like you were a burden," Yoongi stands to sit beside you, taking the cup of tea and placing it on the coffee table before taking your hands, "My love, you have done nothing but be a light in our lives. I love the times when you'd walk into our offices, greeting us with your precious smiles."

"And we love taking care of you," Taehyung says as he takes the seat on your other side. "I don't care if there's someone important to meet, I don't care if there's something important to attend to, because to me you are the most important out of anything. I'll drop everything even if you have just a slight cold."

"Tae-"

"I'm serious," he vows, fingers playing with your hair. "I love you."

"You don't have to feel the same," Namjoon says, "just...if you're willing to try again, we'll do everything in our power to make sure you feel loved."

"I'm not scared about that," you tell them and take a deep breath before continuing. "I know.." you feel your chest tightening, nose feeling congested, tears beginning to brim, "I-I know you care and love..a lot. But I..." you swallow a lump in your throat and it hurts them to see you like this, "how will I ever be enough?" You ask, voice cracking and that alone shatters their hearts.

"Oh baby.."

They're there surrounding you in an instant before the first tear falls and everything else follows. They hold you, hold you tightly, and you don't know why you thought you could have ever make it out successfully without them. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"Baby you are more than enough."

"Shh..it's okay."

"We're right here."

It's so soft, so gentle, a warmth you've been missing for so many days, almost a whole month. You remember always lying in your bed at the end of the day, remembering Jungkook's soft, broken words as he told you he loved you, remembering the words you told them that shattered their hearts.

Because it's untrue, it is so untrue. And you have to let them know that. That you don't not love them.

"I miss you," you say, whimpering and leaning in closer to their holds. "I miss you and I love you."

"Everything okay?" Minyoung asks.

You smile at her question. "Everything's great. Thank you."

A few important binders in hand laid upon your arms as your white pumps clicks under you, you rush to try to get to your destination on time. Perhaps you'll be a few minutes early but it's better that way than to be late. After all, you'd hate to disappoint anyone.

Double checking through everything in hand, your feet rounds to the right, eyes looking up for just a split second to check whether you'll bump into anything or anyone, only for your breath to hitch as you take a double take and realize who is walking down the hall just meters away.

You think he hears your gasp and you're quick to turn around, thinking that perhaps you can take a few more minutes before arriving to your destination, yet your clumsy self only drives you to turn too fast and hit your head against the wall.

"Y/N!"

Crap.

His voice alone makes your heart speed up so fast you think it's very possible it'll fall right out of your chest if you aren't too careful. But this is Park Jimin you're talking about, how can you be too careful when he's the one making your heart race like this?

"Are you running away from me?" He asks, a playful undertone lying in his voice as he comes closer. Jimin crosses his arms against his chest as he studies you, face flushed and trying to avoid his gaze. "Ah, you're ignoring us again."

You're quick to turn and snap your eyes up at him. "What?! No!"

"I know," he teases with a light chuckle and brings his arms around you to pull you in close. Your face flushes again, head tilted down and the man frowns. "Come on, bubs, you're killing me here."

"It's just.." You sigh and with a light thud, your forehead meets his chest. "I don't know. You make me shy, alright?"

He laughs as he sways you from side to side. "I do that?"

"You have no idea," you grumble.

"Baby if there's anyone that have to worry about such things, it's me."

Narrowing your gaze with suspicion, you look up at him. "That's a lie."

"How can that be? You're pretty and cute, whose heart wouldn't race when it comes to you? Do you have any idea how hard it was watching you from before we got together and after you broke things off? Everyone wants a piece of you, Y/N."

"That's not true."

"It is so," he says, bopping your nose with his own, "you're just oblivious."

"Why does it matter anyway?" You shrug. "I'd rather have this love that's true than be with ones who only cares about looks."

"Aww, baby," Jimin coos. "I really love you, you know that?" He leans in just close enough to almost kiss your lips if you hadn't ducked away and shyly push him away.

"Jimin! Someone might see!" You quickly scold, cheeks blushing.

Yet he pouts. "Now that's the first time someone's pushed me away for wanting to kiss them. What's wrong with that?"

"People talk, okay?" You say. "Not towards you because you're an executive but I hear things all the time and I don't really wanna hear about my dating life while I'm working."

He sucks his teeth, annoyed. "People are always so nosy," he huffs before taking your hand and begins to lead you off the opposite end of where you have to be. "Come on, let's go somewhere private."

"W-wait but Jimin I have to-"

"Baby I'm one of the owners of this building, I'll just tell them you're occupied by me," he winks and before you can say anything else, the man is already whisking you away.

"You look so tired, are you alright?"

He shakes his head quickly to wake himself up, eyes closing tightly and opening a few times before sighing. "I'm alright baby."

But you know he isn't really. "Have you gotten any rest at all?" You ask him, worry clear in your voice.

Yoongi looks up at you with a fond gaze, heart softening because of how concerned you look but he also hates worrying you. So he smiles and reaches out for your hand in his lone office where no one but the two of you are present. You take his hand, rounding around his desk and over to him to allow the man to wrap his arms around your waist and lay his head against your stomach.

"I'll be alright, I promise."

"You have to remember to take breaks in between, Yoons."

Yoons. He likes it when you call him that. Likes the gentle feeling of your fingers running along his hair.

"I know, I know."

"The boys will worry too if they knew." You sigh. "Have you eaten?"

"I've got lunch in two hours," he says, "Will you join me then?"

He takes your hand to press a kiss upon the back, eyes gazing up at you through his lashes, and you smile, nodding. "Of course."

He pretends to be asleep when you walk in, a soft little gasp leaving your lips when you find him at his desk, head pressed down atop his arm as he rests them on the surface, eyes closed.

He hears your footsteps closing in on him, a moment of silence passing as you stand for a few seconds just watching him before beginning to clean his desk up in a quiet manner. His binders and papers are neatly stacked up, ipad set off to a safe side, and Taehyung almost gives himself away because he wants to smile. But he keeps himself composed, knowing well how to act.

When his desk his clean, you're standing next to him, a soft gaze on you as you watch him sleep. He feels gentle fingers weaving through the little tangles of his hairs before you lean in and he feels a kiss pressed against his head.

"I love you," you whisper.

So when you move away, he grabs ahold of your wrist, causing you to gasp, and pulls you right into his lap.

"Tae!"

"I love you too," he sighs, resting his face into your neck and laying a kiss right there.

"You okay?"

"Hm?"

"Everything alright?"

It's so gentle and sincere it makes your heart warm so you smile, sincerely, and answer him with a little kiss to his cheek. "Everything's great, Jin."

"Good," he smiles and presses a kiss to your temple.

There are still gossips going around but you know that as long as you're with them, it will never stop and people will always talk no matter what. You've gotten used to it and at this point, you don't really care anymore.

After all, Minyoung will come to defend your honor and if she doesn't then she'll definitely snitch to the boys, leading to consequences the others will have to face.

"You look happier these days," Namjoon notes.

"Of course," you giggle when Jungkook crawls into your arms. "I'm happy. Thank you."

"Why thank us?" The little one asks with a confused pout.

"You're the reason," you tell him. "I'm still slightly scared but I know that I'll never forget the love you've given me and how happy we all are. It'll hurt if we ever end but I know I'll look back on this as a happy memory."

"You say that as if we'll really end," Yoongi sighs as he plops down next to Hoseok.

"Well...you guys have been together for a while so I highly doubt that will end but I don't-"

"My love, look at me," Namjoon commands in a soft tone and you do. How can you not? He leans in close as Jungkook lets him take you, tilting your head up for you to look up at him under his hold at your chin. "It doesn't matter how long some of us have been together, our love for you is neither weaker nor stronger. Can you trust me on that? Hm?"

"Mm..I'll try."

A kiss falls on your lip and he frowns. "I love you."

"I-I know," you're blushing, "I do too."

Another kiss but this time it comes from Jungkook. "But do you really know?"

"Looks like we'll just have to show babygirl until she can stop doubting this relationship."

"N-now hold on!" They're closing in, too close, attention all on you and it makes you flustered. "I..I didn't mean-"

A pair of lips falls onto yours again. Namjoon's soft yet firm, trying to get a message across that he will not tolerate your little moments of doubt. "You think too less of yourself, sweetheart, but we'll make it better."

"Mmm. Trust us, okay?"

"Do you trust us?"

"I do."

"Good. Now close your eyes."

"Don't you have a meeting in-"

"Shh, baby, just focus on us."

Lips on your shoulder, lips to your temple, and lips that whispers words of "I love you's" over and over again to make you forget that any bad moments that has made your heart hurt are over for now. There will still be moments when you'll doubt yourself, feel insecure, think you aren't what they deserve.

But as they press kisses upon you with smiles and giggles that echoes from your throat, you know that you'll be just fine.

"We'll make it better."

They always do.

1K notes · View notes

blxetsi · 4 years ago

Note

Hi there! I love your work!! So I know this sounds a little niche but, could we get headcanons for a reader in a polyamorous relationship with Hange and Miche please? Hope you’re having a really good day!

NO BEXAUSE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEINE TO REQUEST POLYAMOROUS STUFF OMGGGGG 😭 ty for your service anon it means a lot 😔🙏

hange and mike dating headcanons (canonverse)

zoë hange x gn!reader x mike zacharias

warnings: polyamorous relationship, and titans ??, reader is kinda innocent ?? like just easily wound up

also this is going to be SO fucking long and focused on hange for the first long bit sorry !

btw this isnt rlly dating headcanons so much as backstory, how you met, and shit leading up to actually getting together i went so fucking overboard and went the complete opposite way of what you asked ill do a part two with ACTUAL dating headcanons if youd like anon just tell me and ill do it

- i think you wouldve worked for garrison originally

- in season one when hange started the experiments on sawney and bean thats when you would've met them

- you had been a big fan of their research studies for a while, so being in front of someone you thought was so cool was a little nerve wracking

- you had just became newly appointed as a captain for a garrison squad, being one of the youngest recruits to get the position, which also meant some people thought you couldnt handle the job

- you were good at telling others what to do, and guiding them when needed, you took over the leader role very quickly, you had to if you wanted to keep the position

- although you thought you were a good leader, others didnt

- specifically older members of garrison who thought because you were so young, youd be naive

- and since you were a garrison captain, you worked closely with hange and moblit during their experiments

- any request they made for supplies or anything, went through you and youd get it for them

- they needed more help ? youre requesting three soldiers to the experimentation zone immediately. anything they needed you helped with, because you liked helping

- hange had quickly grown fond of you, they were so thankful that you were so willingly to have your squad help them. you remember the brunette grabbing your hand and saying "thank you for your dedication to this project and to science !" while bowing multiple times

- as unsanitary and childish as it was,,, you didnt wash that hand for a day

- hange saw how some members of your squad treated you, and it may have irked them a bit

- causing them to rant to moblit while writing down research data

- "hange." "i just dont get it, why dont they say anything ? theyre so nice so why dont people respect them like they should-" "hange !" "what ?!" "youre writing down captain l/n's name on your page !" "so what ?!- wait what" this causes a night of bickering between the two of them 😐🤚

- when sawney and bean died hange was devastated. you had grown to like the section commander as a friend and respected them greatly, so to see their hardwork and research all go down the drain was hard

- you immediately went into leader mode and started ordering your squad around "listen up ! i want this whole perimeter checked and searched for any evidence to help us find out who did this." a couple members groaned, and one man, who was in his early thirties made a comment about it. "theyre just stupid fucking titans. we're supposed to kill them, not keep them alive for some freak to experiment on them."

- yknow,, looking back on it maybe you shouldnt have went off on them the way you did, but you did because not only was the man questioning your authority and orders, he was blatantly disrespecting a section commander. "i am your captain. i am your leader. you will respect me, and you will listen to me. you either do i say or youll be suspended and taken off my squad immediately. and that goes for everyone ! do i make myself clear ?" you shouted. the man who had talked back raised his eyebrows, youd never once yelled or demanded things be done in a manner like this, and it clearly shocked him when you stood up for yourself.

- a bunch of murmurs came from your squad and you dismissed them, but not before stepping in front of your soldier in front of everyone. "between you and me ? you should be discharged for not only your blatant disrespect and defiance to me for months now, but also for your innapropriate and degrading comments about section commander hange. you wanna pull some shit like this in the future, not just to me but to anybody ? you should kiss your position in garrison squad goodbye, since youre too childish to keep your thoughts and opinions to yourself. now grow the fuck up and go do what ive asked please." the man looked scared as he stared at you, no one had seen you act like this before, his jaw clenched as he nodded and walked off, the rest of your squad dispersing with him

- you didnt notice hange calling your name until you felt their hand on your shoulder. you turned around and saw their sympathetic gaze on you. "thank you for defending me. are you okay ?"

- you rubbed the back of your neck and answered. "honestly ? i feel kind of bad, like i embarassed him or something." the survey corps leader tilted their head back as they laughed. "youre so kind y/n, but im proud of you." the comment, although lighthearted, struck a cord with you

- a couple days later you were requested to meet with not only the section commander but commander smith, as well as your superior, dot pixis

- the meeting only lasted about thirty minutes, but hange had boasted about not only your leadership skills but also your knowledge and ideas on various sciences. erwin decided to offer you a position to work under hange, and dot pixis agreed to have you transferred to the survey corps if you agreed.

- did your decision have to do with your crush on hange ? maybe. would you ever admit it ? no.

- pixis explained to you that youd be honorably disharged from the garrison regiment before being moved to the scouts' headquarters in trost

- you surprisingly got along well with others there. working in hanges squad was fun, and even though you were demoted from a captain back to a cadet you didnt mind

- hange had offered to share as much knowledge as they could with you, which led you to be in their office (as messy as it was) after work hours

- and thats where you met mike

- well, got to know him

- hange introduced you two when you first joined and the first thing the section commander did was NOT shake the hand you held out for him but to lean down and sniff around your hair and neck

- your face felt hot as you stuttered over your words, thrown off by his,,, unique, greeting

- hange and laughed and lightly pushed him away, before explaining to you that thats just what mike did

- back to being in hanges office

- for nights on end youd stay up together in their office, two chairs huddled beside one another while you read through books of research, not just from hange but from published scientists and anthropologists too

- mike had started joining you two only three days after you and hange started

- he would stay quiet, but would sit next to hange making them be sandwiched by the two of you

- after that you started to notice him more often

- down the halls he'd send you a small smile, which you brightly returned

- sometimes he'd be in charge of training that day, and he would wordlessly help you position your arms to properly block or punch when sparring with other members

- then he started bringing tea when he would come and listen to you and hange discuss different theories, articles and information together

- you didnt even know the two were dating until you accidentally walked in on them in hange's office

- they werent doing anything dirty, just giving each other a kiss, but you had walked in on them with a stack of papers captain levi told you to give to hange.

- you kinda,, stood there, slackjawed, while the two pulled apart slowly to look at you. hange had a mischievous grin on their face while mike just gave you a blank stare

- you dropped the papers. the stack of documents levi tasked you to give to hange. you dropped them. How Embarassing.

- your face began to feel hot not just from seeing them but also because youre embarassing yourself by dropping the papers and just standing there like an IDIOT

- "uh,,, i- captain levi said to give you those documents you requested." your voice cracked at the end making you wince

- "you mean the documents that are spread out on my floor now ?" hange asked. you looked between them and the floor, then at mike, then back to the floor than back at hange. "yes." you said, and you could feel that warmth in your face spreading to your ears now too. "im sorry." you exclaimed, your voice sounding strained as you quickly walked backwords and closed the door in front of you

- you started avoiding hange and mike after that, and became hyper aware of everything that they did. they were TAUNTING YOU 🙄 you could feel it

- instead of small smiles in the halls, after you started ducking your head down when you saw mike, he would now give you head pats when you crossed him

- hange would let their hand linger on your shoulder or side as they shuffled past you during meetings or experiments, and would come closer than usual when handing you documents

- mike would give you teasing smiles when you got your ass handed to you during sparring

- and finally you were fed up ! did this count as workplace harassment ? you didnt know but you wanted answers ! so you went to the source, hange's room after dinner

- you didnt bother knocking, you just walked in with your eyes closed

- hange giggled, "what are you doing y/n ?" "making sure im not walking into something i shouldnt be seeing, section commander." "by that do you mean the kiss mike and i shared ?" "yes." "well we're not kissing right now." they said, and you peaked one eye open to be sure they werent lying, and they werent !

mike stood up from his chair and slowly made his way past you, closing the door. you took a deep breath before throwing all of your word vomit on blond and brunette duo. "so i dont know why you guys think teasing me like this is fun, but it isnt. it makes me flustered and nervous and feel weird and im not sure if it counts as abuse of power but i dont like it so it needs to stop." you huffed in a big breath of air after saying all of that, and hange rested their head in their hands.

"y/n do you have a crush on me ?" they asked. their voice was soft but they still had that stupid smile on their face. you could feel your face getting warmer by the second. your mouth opened and closed but no words came out.

" i uh, im gonna leave now." you turned around but hit something hard, and looked up at mike looking down on you, a smirk on his face. he put his hands on your shoulders and turned you back around to hange, walking the two of you over to their desk. he gave you a slight push, causing you to put your hands on the desk and lean on it, while mike kept his hands on you to keep you from running.

hange leaned into you, your noses barely touching. "i only ask because, mike and i have grown very fond of you." they said. you nodded a little bit, the tips of your noses brushing against each other.

"yeah well, id be a little sad if my superiors didnt like me, that would be kind of bad." you replied.

"can i kiss you ?" they asked.

and now is when your brain really stops functioning. thoughts fill your mind of mike and his relationship to hange. are they actually together or is it a friends with benefits kind of thing ?

"i uh, i cant kiss you." you replied, a bit breathlessly caused by both section commanders.

"why not y/n ?"

"well i'm not a cheater, or a homewrecker. i mean i assume that you and mike are together so, im not going to kiss someone in a relationship." you stammered out. this was making you very nervous, butterflies errupting in your stomach. you knew they were just teasing you, goofing around to make you flustered, but a part of you hoped youd be able to kiss hange, and maybe mike for that matter.

they chuckled a bit, before their brown eyes looking behind you to mike's towering form. "honey, can you tell y/n its okay if they kiss me ?" they asked. mike let out a small laugh through his nose before leaning down.

"only if y/n promises to give me a kiss afterwards." he whispered. he pressed a faint kiss to your temple, and you shivered from the contact. he was warm, very warm, and even though it was such a small amount of contact it did so many things to you.

you gulped before bringing your eyes back to hange. you looked to their eyes, and then to their lips, and continued that pattern silently in hopes theyd understand. you didnt want to be teased anymore ! you wanted something to happen.

hange got the hint and smirked, before leaning in again and lightly brushing her lips against yours. theirs were soft compared to mikes chapped ones, and the kiss was so slow, so innocent, it had you leaning in for more. it was a slow, lazy kiss, a kiss to test the waters, it helped calm your nerves, but also made your nerved explode with heat.

finally the researched pulled away, and put their hands on your cheeks, squishing them to pucker your lips, before giving a kiss to your forehead, nose and lips one last time. they let go with a soft smile on their face, and a blush of their own.

you could feel mike press his body down against yours, making your knees buckle slightly. he took his right hand off your shoulder to place it on hange's cheek, thumbing over the red pigmentation. he then turned your head up and to the side, before giving you a kiss of his own. this one was a bit more dominating, hard. his chapped lips scratched against your own but you didnt mind. in a weird way it made you feel at ease, having him take control of it, the same way hange did but his was just more, needy.

he pulled back with a shaky breath and looked at you before looking at hange. "so y/n," hange began. they stood up and made their way around the table, mike pulling himself and you up straight so hange could sit on the edge, pulling you in to stand between their legs. being sandwiched in between mike and hange made you so aware of them, and even though you were very new to something like this you felt weirdly safe and secure. "mike and i genuinely care about you, and we want to be with you the way that we're with each other. would you like that ?"

honestly, how could you say no ?

thats it again im sorry the anon who requested this you did not get what you asked for 😭😭😭😭 hope u all enjoyed requests r open stay safe

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lokidrabbles · 4 years ago

Text

Living For You (Loki x Reader)

Loki reflects on his newly developed relationship with reader, all while keeping them safe from an aggressive admirer from work

A/N: A longer one shot focusing on that sweet Loki POV and relationship development. I know it’s super cheese to have the whole partner protects you from unwarranted advances, but it makes for some interesting stuff! As always, Gender Neutral Reader! Warnings: Uncomfortable situations with insistent people who won’t take no for an answer? Otherwise, pretty fluff

Recently, things had become more manageable, at least in New York. Loki did acknowledge his arrangement on Midgard grew feasible now, and although he still received condemning glares from Stark and his entourage, it was more practical to put it in the back of his head. He attributed this to finally integrating himself among the Avengers and the pseudo-hero role that was imposed on him, but mostly due to you making things much more bearable for him while in New York.

His arrangement with the Avengers became interesting with you around, more tolerable. It had been recent since you and Loki confided in each other. You both had openly admitted your attraction to each other and one thing led to another. As things progressed, you had been very clear to take things slowly, not as an offense to him, but because you didn’t want it to become workplace gossip (and risk losing your job).

Humans liked to over complicate things, he figured, but he didn’t take any jabs at you for it. He liked you and that was as plain as it was. Now, the direction this relationship with you would take? He wasn’t sure about it. He avoided dwelling on the million reasons how it could possibly turn sour as to avoid sabotaging the opportunity himself. Instead, he enjoyed the present shenanigans you both would be involved in together and how it would at least aid him in brushing off the fact that Stark and the Avengers continued to vilify him passively. He felt happier having you around, and despite things being uncertain, it was therapeutic having you around to throw banter with.

It was as casual as it could possibly be. He’d meander around the facility to find you, strike up a conversation, but nothing beyond that. He’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t think about kissing you again like the first time. His memory remained vivid of your soft lips onto his, still unsure of how he’d respond to such an act. This was something he still didn’t mention to you but he continued to long for you coy kiss, allowing himself to think about entanglements beyond that.

He respected your boundaries however, and unless he had a clear say signal, he wouldn’t make any bold moves just yet. Besides, the build up to something like that would be much more savory this way.

Loki took you as a fairly attractive human for his standards. Not just with your physical appearance, but the way you presented yourself. You were quick witted and playful but easy to talk to regardless. You didn’t shy away from having conversations with him just about anything, and although you both came from very different worlds, the connection was instant. Needless to say, you were genuine with yourself and how you projected onto others.

Because of this, it wasn’t out of the ordinary for Loki to quickly catch onto another staff member on your floor also having a certain interest in you.

Loki often hovered around your area any time he was back at the facility, but a new method would be warranted to ensure none of that unnecessary ‘gossip’ would begin. Despite it being something he shouldn’t be doing, Loki would utilize his illusions to disguise himself as random staff members and workers around the facility, just enough to take away any suspicion from his affliction with you. You were quick to catch onto his disguises, especially when he would casually stroll into your office and give you a quick wink as a random office worker. It was all part of the shenanigans you’d be involved with unwillingly, but he knew it brightened up your work day in some sense.

Loki’s illusions granted him close observation of those around you, especially the man who was blatantly interested in you. A fellow co-worker of yours, someone who had to provide you with daily reports and therefore would need to have some type of daily interaction with you. It was written all over his face. You weren’t completely clueless over the matter and continued to interact with him in the most appropriate work place manner possible.

Loki scoffed at how sheepish this man looked around you. His fidgeting fingers and lingering eyes told Loki he had an eye out for you for quite some time but was still too cowardly to say or do anything about it. He could tell this man would concoct ways to approach you in efforts to exchange a couple of words, only to have you completely ignore any tell tale signs. You were attentive with him of course, but nothing more. It satisfied Loki. It was ridiculous to assume he was jealous of this man, but it didn’t deter him from keeping watch over how he interacted with you. After all, how could he pride himself of having your interest if other men began to rush all over you? It wasn’t within his line of work.

“He has his sights clearly on you.” Loki had said teasingly to you one evening after you had just finished a couple of reports. “I wonder how harsh you’ll be in letting him down.”

“Oh? What makes you so sure I’ll let him down if he asks anything?” You played with him like this often, which only fueled his motivation to be as arrogant as he could be.

“Perhaps because absolutely no one compares to me?” He retorted, hand plastered over his chest. “It’s a fact you should start getting used to.”

You scoffed at his theatrics. “You know, for taking things slowly, you really seem to be enjoying taking this boyfriend role already.”

“Boyfriend? Don’t be such a child. I’d rather be referred to as, the love of your life.”

“God, shut up. You’re so embarrassing.” You responded with a twisted smile.

“The flush on your face says otherwise, sweet thing.”

Unsurprisingly enough, the scenario Loki had teased you about presented itself to you later into the week. You had told Loki about how this co-worker had boldly approached you about going out sometime for a date and the excruciating efforts you had to make with letting him down gently, making it clear you were not interested in him in that way. You explained to Loki how awkward it had made the process at work now since you would need to have constant interaction with him and how his entire attitude around you had changed. Unbeknownst to you, Loki gleamed with the thought of you letting down the advances of this man solely because your interests lied with himself instead.

“What do you mean?” Loki asked hiding away a satisfied grin.

“He’s just super blunt and quick with stuff he needs to turn in to me. Like, I’ll have a question to ask about something and he zooms out of the office. I think I wrecked him.” You explained, your mouth twisting in worry.

“That’s his own volition then. You didn’t do anything wrong, you were simply being honest with him. If he can’t manage with that fact then he is quite the weak willed man.”

You squinted your eyes at him. “You sure you’re not just saying that because I rejected his advances in favor of you?”

“Well, yes. Is there a problem?”

Days had gone by and Loki continued to observe your admirer from afar through the guise of his illusion. There was something wrong with him. Again, Loki’s observation skills provided him with the clear indication that he had not taken your rejection rather well. Loki caught on to the man’s gaze and how dramatically it had changed. What was an obsessive, admirable stare now became calculated and resentful. He wouldn’t say much to you, but would still notably make efforts to come to your office as often as possible. This piqued at Loki’s interest, but more so, it cautioned him to keep a watchful eye over whatever ill intentions this man had with you. Loki knew men of that nature, and he knew how far they could fall when they don’t get what they want.

Towards the end of your shift, your admirer had once again made way to your office. Loki cast an illusion over himself as one of the security guards on your floor and placed himself strategically where he could see and hear the both of you through the open door of your office. Most security guards at the facility were often watchful of their surroundings, which allowed him to perfectly blend in with his surrounding. He heard you make small conversation with him, something relating to being relieved for the weekend, but he wouldn’t budge. Once you had thanked him for turning in some reports he had made it clear he had no intention of leaving your office yet. Loki’s brow furrowed onto him, his intuition continuing to tell him this man was up to something.

“What’s wrong?” You had asked him.

“Look, I’m sorry.” He began with a faltered laugh. “But I just can’t get over you rejecting me the other day. I have to ask, why?”

Ah. Loki figured as much. This man couldn’t handle something like that from you. Pathetic.

“Wow. I mean, wasn’t I clear?” You responded while gesturing at yourself. “I’m not interested, and I’m sorry. But that’s as respectful as I can be about it.”

“Who do you think you are?” His voice became loud and aggressive, triggering Loki’s defensive instincts.

“Hey, cool it. This is not the place or time to be talking to me about this.” You responded to him but Loki caught on quickly to the shakiness in your voice. You were getting nervous. Loki felt his fist clench, almost ready to instinctively conjure a dagger.

“Oh stop it. Don’t talk down to me like that, after all the efforts I put in for you.” He continued raising his voice at you, instantly pissing off Loki. A rage began to build in the pit of his stomach and a single thought ran in his head. This cretin had the audacity to speak to you, his human, in such a way.

After all, Loki took it upon himself to be your protector, your guardian. It wasn’t out of possessiveness but an affirmation that you, his human, were his to keep watch over. Loki was your tree, and he would protect you under his shade as much as he could.

The opportunity was open for him to simply dash in and knock out this excuse of a man right out.

“Excuse me? Just because we work together doesn’t mean I’m obligated to respond to your advances.” You had responded to him. “I was as respectful as I possibly was with you, what more do you want?” Loki continued to take notice at how uncomfortable you had become. Your usual calm demeanor was shattered by this cretin’s uncalled entitlement. Loki almost lost control of his disguise for a bit.

“You owe me, it’s as clear as that.” He continued, stopping for a bit and taking a long, deep breath. “Look, we can just forget about this and just grab something later this evening. What do you say?”

“Man, you’re insistent aren’t you? I’ve already told you no.” You said, this time standing up from your seat. “ And the reason being is because I’m already involved with someone else. So please, this is the last time I tell you. Leave it be.”

“Are you serious? (Y/N), stop being so fucking difficult!” He slammed a fist onto your desk, causing you to jump.

Bad move.

It all happened within a few seconds. The illusion dissipated, and the ‘ordinary guard’ was instantly replaced by Loki’s regal presence. Loki slammed his face against your desk, twisted and locked his arm in place behind his back, all within the blink of an eye. You pushed yourself back against the wall behind you in shock at the abrupt physicality in front of you. Loki knew this was extremely risky to do, knowing the security cameras could probably catch all of his actions. Simply put, he didn’t care. His only priority was protecting you and getting this piece of human garbage out of your sight.

The man pinned under Loki groaned and cried out to be let go. “Stop, you’re hurting me!”

“Quiet.” Loki snarled. “You were about to lay a finger on them, weren’t you? A huge mistake on your part. Now, how easy would it be for me to pop out your arm out of its socket?”

It would be ridiculously easy for Loki to have mutilated the man then and there. His arm would easily snap with Loki’s inhuman strength and the temptation was just at the tip of his fingers. He wouldn’t do it however, not with you there.

“Loki.” He heard you shakily call out to him, snapping him out of his violent thinking. “Loki, calm down. It’s fine, let him go.”

“Wait, Loki? Are you fucking kidding me?” The man pinned yelped out, only to groan in pain once Loki twisted his arm even harder.

“I told you to be quiet. Now listen. I won’t cause you any harm because this really isn’t a fair fight. However, I do want to make it known that if you ever come by and even land a single glance onto (Y/N), I won’t be so merciful next time.”

“Loki, stop!” You yelped out at him.

Right on cue, Loki released his grip on him, and the man stumbled backwards. He shot an incredulous look at the both of you, which Loki interpreted as shock and lingering fear. His life was in danger for a brief moment after all.

He padded out of your office, hanging his head lowly. He muttered something as he trailed off, but both you and Loki paid no heed to whatever else he had left to say. Loki was certain he wouldn’t even dare mention this to anyone after the threat that was placed on him. His intimidation tactics, while cruel, were still very useful to himself.

“God, Loki.” You said lowly, stepping out from behind your desk. “Thank you, I don’t know what came over him.”

“Stop, it’s fine. Are you alright?”

Before you could respond to him, he approached you and carefully cupped your face towards his own. He planted a desperate kiss onto you, giving in to the inclination he was holding back for weeks now. To hell with whatever you wanted to do with taking things slowly. A rush of warm energy filled him once he felt you reciprocate with your own longing lips. He knew you were aching for it too. You gently pulled back, looking up at him with glassy eyes.

“I can’t believe that happened.” You said, pushing your hair out of your face. “I didn’t think it’d escalate in such a way.”

“Are you sure you’re well? You became terrified for a moment there.” He asked you as his gaze softened.

“Yeah, I’m good. I just can’t believe it had to come to that.”

“Men like that are erratic. I’d consider things fortunate on your end since I was around. A little lesson for you. Whenever a man has a fist formed in a heated argument, it’s a good way to indicate that he will be aggressive. Trust me.”

“Are you serious? I didn’t even notice that. Do you think, he was-“

“That doesn’t matter now.” He interrupted you. “What matters is that he will bother you no more, I will ensure of that.”

“Well, let me talk to Tony about what happened too. At least, to make sure he’s transferred somewhere else and to make sure you don’t get into trouble.” You said, gesturing to the security camera at the corner of your office.

“Don’t worry about me.” He scoffed, appreciating your concern for him. “I can tolerate whatever Stark dishes out to me, but it would be very beneficial to ensure this cretin is forever out of your sight.”

You nodded. “Yeah, I’ll get on that first thing tomorrow morning. Man, I wasn’t even involved in that brawl but I feel so drained now. Is this what you’re going to do every time someone hits on me?”

He rolled his eyes. It was too easy to respond absolutely yes to that. “Of course not. Don’t take me for a jealous type. I will however make sure no one harms you in any shape or form.”

You chuckled. There was that coy smile again, and Loki felt the tension be released from his shoulders. It was a strange feeling, something he didn’t feel for a long time. That easiness of having a person feel so safe and secure with you. It wasn’t gratifying, but it made him feel like he belonged along side with you. The sentiment grew a bit more, slowly blossoming into a much deeper, stronger intent. He didn’t like you anymore; he cherished you.

“By the way, you’re doing extremely good with this whole boyfriend, err, love of my life thing. It was kinda sexy actually.” You said with a playful grin. He chuckled lowly. “That’s what comes with the entire package dear. Shall we venture forth into the evening? Perhaps we could continue discussing how I bravely defended your honor.”

“Really? I mean, if that’s what you want. I was thinking we could have some sex but if you’d really rather just talk.” You retorted mockingly.

“You’re catching much of my sense of humor I see. Besides, what happened to wanting to take things slowly?”

“Well, I figured you care about me deeply if you’re willing to go out of your way to maim a man for me.”

He knew it was all just playful banter, but your questioning of his care for you did tug at him. “Do you think I don’t care about you?”

He saw your smile begin to dwindle to something much smaller. The sourness settled in, and this was one of the million of reasons that he had stored way in the recess of his mind. It was very possibly you had wanted to start things slow at first due to doubting his own feelings for you. He didn’t blame you.

“It’s not that.” You said lowly, your tone becoming more serious. “I mean, I know this is something new to us, but I was just careful about moving in too quickly. Or... is that selfish of me?” “No, it’s not.” He answered. “I think if a human wanted to have a relationship with me, they’d have every right to be wary. I’m not the easiest man to be with.”

“Well, I feel very comfortable with you. And much safer.”

Loki reached out for your hand and gently covered it with his own. He brought it up to his face, to his lips, just close enough for him to brush them against your knuckles.

“I do care about what happens to you.” He began. “And I’d much rather display our entanglement to the public if matters like this will keep happening to you.”

“I don’t think anything else like this will happen.” You assured him. “And if it does, I’m more than confident you’ll take care of it. But...I do still want to keep us....low-key.”

Your eyes veered to the side and Loki felt you holding back a snort.

He let go of your hand instantly, staring at you with his mouth agape. “I can’t believe you really used that on me. How old are you?”

“Oh, come on! It was perfectly used, you got to admit.”

“No. You’ve completely ruined the moment. I hope you’re proud of yourself.”

You continued with your efforts in making it known how brilliantly you had set up that line to be, much to Loki’s dismay. Things would remain at a slow, casual pace, just to test out the waters and see how far things could go with the both of you. Loki, again, shoved those intrusive memories at the back of his head, adapting himself to be present in these moments with you. A relationship with a Midgardian was new to him, and although there would still be kinks and knots to straighten out, it would be worthwhile just to continue seeing that gleeful smile on your face whenever he’d be in your presence.

He brought you joy, and you gifted him with something much more meaningful. Something to protect.

#loki x reader #loki x you #loki x (y/n)#loki fanfiction #loki imagine #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #loki (mcu)

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johnkrrasinski · 4 years ago

Text

Daylight;

full masterlist

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x female!reader

Word count: 1,721

Warning: FLUFF!!!! just two people being in love!!! but a little angst on bucky’s part though. (dont worry it’s got a happy ending)

Summary: bucky has his own unhealthy ways to deal with his demons but your love heals and changes him.

a/n: this one was inspired by @promptlywritingideas‘s prompts and i just immediately thought of bucky because i’m a soft ass bitch when it comes to bucky barnes. also! yes, i did use a lyric from daylight by taylor swift bc this song is literally everything alright, please listen to it if you haven’t. it’s the most reviving song ever. also, credit to @seedaylight for this lovely picture!

The bead of sweats rolled off Bucky’s forehead to his neck, his shirt and the floor, constructing small ponds of indignation that was left masked, unspoken and obliterated. At least that was what he had been aiming for as long as he could remember. The battered punching bag stayed robust and resilient despite the vigour of Bucky’s punches. The bleeding on his knuckles cracked through the split skin due to the brutal strikes.

But he couldn’t stop. The pain from the wounds still couldn’t compare to the demons haunting his mind. The ghosts in his dreams that refused to let him have his peaceful rest at night are the reasons why he was in the empty gym room at 3 am in the morning instead of being curled up in the warm sheets with the divine figure snoring next to him.

The silence of the solitude eased his mind, feeling like he was given the space and seclusion that he always yearned for. He was certainly grateful for what he had been given now; a lavish compound with excellent amenities and exceptional technologies, a ragtag group of people that had welcomed him with open arms and accepted him as part of their cluttered makeshift family, a much higher and noble purpose that allowed him to utilize his cursed, undesired superpowers for good and lastly, the foremost one out of all; you.

You, a blessing in his life that he never once imagined he’d ever get have in his long, agonizing life after all the wickedness he had committed. You, who loved him and believed in him anyway, even when he had lost faith in himself centuries ago. You, who permitted him to touch you in the most intimate manners and you, who were willing to be devoted to him even when he felt absolutely undeserving of your goodness and loyalty.

Bucky was a grateful man. He should’ve been. He was, it’s just- there was still a part of him that didn’t return and died in the ages of his Winter Soldier days. The days where he was merely a damaged soldier, a fractured puppet doll on a string, just waiting to be torn apart and stitched back together again just for the sake of more murders and more crimes.

He was slowly recovering though, each day, when he got a taste of your lips, when he watched you slowly wake up in the morning light, when your limbs were tangled within each other, that you couldn’t figure out where he began and you ended. But just because he was happy and he was grateful, doesn’t mean that all the sins of his past catching up to him would spontaneously combust in the blink of an eye.

He had his own baggage and he was going to deal with them. Most days, especially when he was surrounded by the love of his life and his makeshift family, he would pretend that all is well and healing was all there was. But at night, he’d slowly lift her arm that was circled around his waist off of him and quietly snuck out to his favourite place to be at midnight.

So that’s how he ended up in this sweaty state in the middle of the night. His mind recalled the fragments of memories during his Winter Soldier days that he fought to forget but they were stronger. It was faint and distant but, it still lingered in his mind like it was just yesterday.

The faces of his victims before he shot a bullet right through their skulls loomed. Their begs for mercy echoed in his ears. And the guilt consciously devoured his heart alive, like a cobra swallowing its feeble prey.

“Bucky…?” The delicate voice alerted him out of his tumultuous daze.

Bucky halted and turned his body around to the entrance, where you were standing in a plain white tank top and your bottom shorts with a wool cardigan hugging your form daintily. You looked so endearing in your half drowsy state, as you rubbed your eye, whilst trying to adjust to the brightness of the room. You always preferred being in the dark, after all. Beaming lights always hurt your sight.

“Sweetheart, what are you doing up?”

“I was looking for you. I got cold and I wanted to cuddle.”

He approached you deliberately with his boxing gloves still on, “go back to bed, alright? I’ll be up with you in a minute.”

“No, I’m not going back to bed without you.”

“I can’t, y/n.”

“Why?” It was a futile rhetorical question. You knew better than anyone why he was here.

“Y/N, I-”

“Oh God, Bucky, I love you. But this has to stop.”

“Y/N, it’s not that- I’m sorry but… what?” He was uncertain whether he got the last part right.

The truth is, Bucky knew he loved you since the first moment you courageously approached him like he wasn’t one of the deadliest assassins in history. He loved you the grace of your smile, he loved the way you mindlessly danced to your favourite song and the way you’d make silly jokes that he rarely understood to comfort your dearest teammates.

But within the six months you had been dating, you and Bucky hadn’t said the three special words yet to each other. You were taking it slow, knowing that you could trust and be honest with each other, and that you’d always have each other’s backs, whether it be on missions or in secret moments. So you didn’t feel the need to rush what you had, fearing that one might scare the other and destroy the precious plants that you both watered until they turn into an entire garden together.

“What?” You were just as puzzled as he was. You somnolent state of mind didn’t realize that you had just blatantly declared the most potent three words to him when all you intended was to break him off his deleterious habits.

But the truth was, you really did love him. You had loved him before you even realized it. It took you a while to fall in love with him, but before you and Bucky finally stopped playing around and acting coy with your real emotions around each other, you had possessed this profound affection for him like a lifelong childhood best friend.

The way his kind baby blue eyes always nudged your soft spot… It always pulled you in like you were walking into a house and you just suddenly knew that you were home. Familiar and warm. That’s what you always felt with Bucky around you. Long before he was even yours.

So when you mindlessly uttered those words, it felt like second nature. Something that just felt so natural to your lips. Bucky walked into your life with such rare sincerity and your heart welcomed it with wide, open arms.

“Those three words… Say it again.”

“…Has to stop?” You shot him a questioning look. It took you a few seconds to realize what you just said. You were starting to panic despite your sluggish state. It’s like Bucky’s question was a wakeup call and it jolted you awake like icy water thrown right onto your face without a warning. You could not believe you were clumsy enough to let the three worlds roll out of your lips.

Oh God, alright, quick, think of something clever, something rational, something that could undo what you just recklessly spurted-

“No no, the words before that.” Bucky quizzically assessed your face.

“Pretty sure I said ‘this has’ before that. I mean, I don’t know,” you scratched your forehead like a kid lying to her teacher about forgetting her homework. “I don’t really remember much, it doesn’t matter anyway, I was half asleep and I was just babbl-”

And then, you felt silky plump lips slamming yours in the most jovial way. He deepened his kiss with his massive hands grabbing your face so delicately as if he was holding a fragile china doll. He caressed your cheek with his thumbs as if he was memorizing every feature on your seraphic face.

He retreated and stared lovingly into your widen eyes. It’s not like it was the first time he surprised you with a kiss, but it’s the unheralded reaction that you thought would’ve been the doom for the two of you. You thought you might’ve frightened him away but it was rather the exact opposite. From the smile on his face, he seemed rather fond. “I love you too.”

Your lips were slightly agape. “You do…?”

“Yes, I do. It took me a while to say that because I thought you weren’t ready to hear it or say it back and I don’t wanna scare you or make you feel guilty so I thought I should wait. But I guess, I don’t have to anymore, now.” His eyes sparkled.

“But we still need to address one thing though, you can’t keep doing this. Every night, you’d sneak into the gym and break your knuckles instead of talking to me. I want you to be honest with me. I want you to trust me. And if we don’t have those then, love is just an illusion.”

His face that was gleaming turned into a frown. There was that sealed off look and hesitation on his face again.

“I’m not asking you to cut yourself open and let me see everything. I just need you to try to let me comfort you instead of hiding in the dark and bleed yourself out every midnight when you should be in bed with me.”

“I’m a work in progress doll, but for you, I’ll try.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

And you made a vow to your heart as well that you would walk with him in the murk, no matter how excruciating and dull the road to recovery is. And you would hold his hand and guide him every step of the way. Because there’s no one else you’d rather share the torturous nights and the mundane days with than him. You would rather share countless arguments and overflowing tears with him than to spend a single peaceful night with someone else.

Because that was the love of your life. And you didn’t wanna look at anything else now that you saw him.

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hamliet · 4 years ago

Text

Am I My Brother’s Keeper?: Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng

Or, how the two most virulent Wen-haters in the story tragically mirror each other in far more ways than just their issues with the Wens.

I’ve written about MDZS’s use of character trios as a narrative structure before (here and here). In this meta I’m going to talk about the main three and the Venerated Triad. I’ve also written before about how Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao’s relationship (however you interpret it) parallels Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian’s, with Lan Xichen as a strong Lan Wangji foil (fitting, as they are the “Twin Jades”), and Jin Guangyao as a strong Wei Wuxian foil (as Wei Wuxian himself acknowledges in the story’s final chapter). So let’s talk about the third member of these trios: Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng, who also closely foil each other... in particular, through their respective relationships with Jin Guangyao and Wei Wuxian.

But wait, you say. Jin Guangyao killed Nie Mingjue, which parallels Jiang Cheng killing Wei Wuxian!

True. There are some parallels between Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao (such as JC killing WWX to avenge JYL, even though she wouldn’t have wanted that, and JGY doing it when NMJ hurts NHS, even though NHS adored NMJ), as well as between Chengxian and Xiyao, but this is not a meta about those specifically.

Nie Mingjue tried to kill Jin Guangyao in life (twice), and actually does do so in the end, and Jiang Cheng helped kill Wei Wuxian even if he did not do it directly. The reason both Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng were able to treat their brothers like this was because of their immense privilege, the privilege neither acknowledge until it is time to weaponize it. In those moments, both chose not to empathize but to see their brothers as an “other” instead of as someone they loved (and I do think both Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng loved Jin Guangyao and Wei Wuxian in a realistic, flawed way). In the otherizing of their brothers, both Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng put on robes displaying society’s flaws as blatantly as Sect Leader Yao does, but with a lot more humanity than the flat, static Sect Leader Yao. Thus, MXTX tells us we cannot even “other” society as a whole.

If this sounds like I’m hating on either character, I’m really not intending to. They’re great characters and I enjoy both of them (Jiang Cheng’s one of my very favorites), but they’re flawed, and in fact that’s the whole reason I like them. But I do admit this essay will be scathing to an extent; just know it doesn’t touch on my whole opinion of their characters, and isn’t meant to excuse Wei Wuxian (who had a savior complex) and Jin Guangyao (who sought society’s approval to his own doom); I’ve just previously excoriated those two.

I. Defining Justice as Trauma

Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng both lost their fathers to Wen Ruohan (as did the Lan brothers), and both vowed to wipe out the Wens as a result. However, both of them fail to think about the Wens as people, and wind up, well, becoming eerily similar to the worst Wens.

Jiang Cheng has lived through the pain of losing everything (status, family, home) and he not only refuses compassion for the two Wens who saved him so that he could fight to get those things back, but inflicts the same traumas on them. In fact, Jiang Cheng’s reaction to Wen Qing’s predicament post-Sunshot campaign is paralleled explicitly with Nie Mingjue’s:

Jiang Cheng’s brows were knitted. He rubbed the vein that throbbed at his temple and soundlessly took in a deep breath, “… I apologize to all of the Sect Leaders. Everyone, I’m afraid you don’t know that the Wen cultivator whom Wei WuXian wanted to save was called Wen Ning. We owe him and his sister Wen Qing gratitude for what happened during the Sunshot Campaign.”

Nie MingJue, “You owe them gratitude? Isn’t the QishanWen Sect the ones who caused the YunmengJiang Sect’s annihilation?”

...

Lan XiChen responded a moment later, “I have heard of Wen Qing’s name a few of times. I do not remember her having participated in any of the Sunshot Campaign’s crimes.”

Nie MingJue, “But she’s never stopped them either.”

Lan XiChen, “Wen Qing was one of Wen RuoHan’s most trusted people. How could she have stopped them?”

Nie MingJue spoke coldly, “If she responded with only silence and not opposition when the Wen Sect was causing mayhem, it’s the same as indifference. She shouldn’t have been so disillusioned as to hope that she could be treated with respect when the Wen Sect was doing evil and be unwilling to suffer the consequences and pay the price when the Wen Sect was wiped out.”

Lan XiChen knew that because of what happened to his father, Nie MingJue abhorred Wen-dogs more than anything, especially with how intolerable he was toward evil. Lan XiChen didn’t say anything else.

There’s a lot of irony in this. Wen Qing didn’t speak up because she wanted to protect her little brother--something Nie Mingjue should have been able to relate to, considering he sent Huaisang to safety in the Cloud Recesses during the war. Also, I mean, Nie Mingjue, you didn’t exactly rise up against Wen Ruohan until you knew you had the forces to win. He likely spent several years in begrudging deference to him, even sending Nie Huaisang along as tribute when Wen Chao demanded it. Jiang Cheng starts to do the right thing in this scene by speaking honestly about Wen Qing, but then Nie Mingjue reminds him of society and propriety, and Jiang Cheng backs down, crushed under society again. Both of them commit sins of omission, in that they stand back and allow society to belittle and vilify people.

The “sins of omission” is a motif that continues in both Nie Mingjue’s and Jiang Cheng’s arcs. For example, Jiang Cheng stood by to let Mianmian be brutally killed in the cave of the Xuanwu of Slaughter, and even stood by to let Lan Wangji and Jin Zixuan die too as they protected her. He goes on to blame Wei Wuxian for the deaths of his family because of Wei Wuxian saving them. Nie Mingjue keeps the truth about the saber spirit from Nie Huaisang, and additionally, the very same conversation about Wen Qing referenced above, Nie Mingjue is directly stated to know Jin Guangyao is lying to help his father, and he says nothing at all even though Wei Wuxian’s life hung in the balance. (It then karmically backfires on Jin Guangyao).

Jin GuangYao came to save the day, exclaiming, “Really? That day, Young Master Wei busted into Koi Tower with such force. He said too many things, one more shocking than the next. Perhaps he said a few things that were along those lines. I can’t remember them either.”

... As soon as he heard it, Nie MingJue knew that he was fibbing on purpose, frowning slightly.

...

One of the sect leaders added, “...Excuse my bluntness, but he’s the son of a servant. How could the son of a servant be so arrogant?”

With him having brought up the ‘son of a servant’, naturally there’d be some who connected it to the ‘son of a prostitute’ standing in the hall. Jin GuangYao clearly noticed the unkind stares.

While Nie Mingjue is quick to accuse Wen Qing for her inaction but languid with his own, this isn’t exactly unique. He also is quick to accuse Jin Guangyao of standing by as Jin Guangshan manipulates to acquit Xue Yang for his crimes against the Chang Clan. (I’m not defending Jin Guangshan or Jin Guangyao in this.) How dare they stand there and not argue for justice?

In spite of Nie MingJue being a junior to Jin GuangShan, he conducted himself in a strict manner and refused to tolerate Xue Yang no matter what. With an angry lecture, Jin GuangShan was left with no words and a great deal of embarrassment. Nie MingJue, as the irritable person he was, unsheathed his saber on the spot with the intention of killing Xue Yang. Even when his sworn younger brother LianFang-Zun, Jin GuangYao, attempted to ease the situation, he ordered him to leave. After a harsh scolding, Jin GuangYao hid behind Lan XiChen, not daring to say anything else. In the end, the LanlingJin Sect could only give in.

But, Nie Mingjue never offers a critique of Jin Guangshan when Jin Guangshan lied to Nie Mingjue’s face about Meng Yao. He discovered that Jin Guangyao’s stepmother is routinely beating him, and Nie Mingjue does nothing. Even if his hands were tied, if he really cared about doing the right thing, why didn’t he intervene somehow, some way, for his brother? If he really cared about holding people responsible for their actions, about making sure justice was served above everything else, why is it that the only person he consistently holds accountable is Jin Guangyao?

Could it be that, much like society, what Nie Mingjue was angry about was not injustice, but actually his hurting self? His hurt pride, his hurt child self still reeling from the cruel way Wen Ruohan betrayed his father and left him to die an agonizing death?

Likewise, Jiang Cheng knows, when he leads the siege at the Burial Mounds against the Wens, that no Wen there is dangerous. They are all elderly or children, not soldiers. He knows even that his sister died saving Wei Wuxian’s life, but chooses to ignore her wishes to satiate his own anger and the inner child inside of him still crying in loneliness. No one had ever chosen Jiang Cheng: his mother viewed him as a disappointment, and his father preferred Wei Wuxian, but Wei Wuxian promised to stick by Jiang Cheng no matter what. When Wei Wuxian breaks this promise, Jiang Cheng never gets over this, and carries out revenge on him for choosing actual justice over staying close to Jiang Cheng (looking back, this adds a symbolic irony to Jiang Cheng refusing to intervene and save Lan Wangji and Jin Zixuan in the cave: they are both the people who will be his siblings’ spouses).

But the sad reality is, it’s a false dichotomy. Wei Wuxian did not choose the Wens over Jiang Cheng. Jiang Cheng, like society, chose society and conformity over Wei Wuxian.

I’ve said it before, but while Jin Guangyao isn’t correct that the siege on the Burial Mounds is “all” Jiang Cheng’s fault, he’s not wrong when he makes this point:

“But what you have to understand is that, for what happened to Young Master Wei in the end, you are responsible too and in fact, you are very much so. Why did so many people crusade against the YiLing Patriarch? Why did they shout their support, no matter if they were involved or not? Why was he one-sidedly condemned by so many? Was it really their sense of justice? Of course not. A part of the reason is you.”

...

“… Back then, the LanlingJin Sect, the QingheNie Sect, and the GusuLan Sect had already finished fighting over the biggest share. The rest could only get some small shrimps. You, on the other hand, had just rebuilt Lotus Pier and behind you was the YiLing Patriarch, Wei WuXian, the danger of whom was immeasurable. Do you think the other sects would like to see a young sect leader who was so advantaged? Luckily, you didn’t seem to be on good terms with your shixiong, and since everyone thought there was an opportunity, of course they’d add fuels to your fire if they could. No matter what, to weaken the YunmengJiang Sect was to strengthen themselves. Sect Leader Jiang, if only your attitude towards your shixiong was just a bit better, showing everyone that your bond was too strong to be broken for them to have a chance, or if you exhibited just a bit more tolerance after what happened, things wouldn’t have become what they were. Oh, speaking of it, you were also a main force of the siege at Burial Mound…”

II. Privilege

The main villain of all of MXTX’s novels is privilege (I’ve touched on this here and here and here). Unfortunately, both Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue are heavily infected with it, and it’s partially why they treat others as they do.

Jiang Cheng speaks negatively of Mianmian in chapter 56, noting that she’s probably just the daughter of a servant. When Wei Wuxian challenges this by pointing out he is also the son of a servant, Jiang Cheng expresses that Wei Wuxian is somehow different (and to be fair, he is indeed treated with more respect because of Jiang Fengmian’s background with Wei Wuxian’s mother), but the implication is also classist. Ironically, again, when Jiang Cheng will not speak up for Wei Wuxian or Wen Qing during that same conversation referenced earlier, Mianmian does; though Nie Mingjue expresses admiration of her for doing so, he does not do the same.

Additionally, Jiang Cheng says the following about Jin Guangyao:

Wei WuXian, “Isn’t Jin GuangYao here now? Jin GuangYao seems so much better than him.”

Jiang Cheng... “So what, if he’s better? No matter how much better he is, no matter how clever, he could only be a servant who greets the guests. That’s all there is to his life. He can’t compare with Jin ZiXuan.”

This pretty much sums up how society treats Jin Guangyao, and Jiang Cheng doesn’t think to question it. Wei Wuxian, on the other hand, points to Jin Guangyao’s character, which at that point looked decent (even if... later... sigh). Additionally, it’s hard not to see this as a commentary on how people think Wei Wuxian should be acting. Even though Jiang Cheng is, er, wrong about how far Jin Guangyao can rise, he contrasts with Jin Guangyao in how Jin Guangyao builds the lookout towers to provide justice for the common people, while Jiang Cheng encourages Jin Ling’s initially snobbish behavior (leaving common people in traps).

Not only that, but Jiang Cheng routinely commits atrocities under his protection as a sect leader. He’s described as having whipped the flesh off the backs of people accused of demonic cultivation, and supposedly no one arrested for that survived his tortures (ironically, Wen Ruohan is also known for torture). As someone pointed out once, the people who would turn to demonic cultivation are likely those unable to form golden cores (Wei Wuxian), or those taken in as disciples too late/too untalented to do so (Mo Xuanyu); Xue Yang was also taken in late as a disciple, but is noted to be unusually talented. The interesting thing is that all three of these people are from impoverished, humble origins. Thus it’s very likely the people Jiang Cheng was arresting and torturing to death were not wealthy cultivators (not to mention other sects would complain if so), but common folk.

As for Nie Mingjue, Jin Guangyao goes further than Wei Wuxian and directly attempts to challenge Nie Mingjue to acknowledge his privilege with brutal honesty on his own part, only for it to go... poorly.

Nie MingJue, “There’s no need for explanations. Come back to me with Xue Yang’s head in your hand.”

Jin GuangYao still wanted to speak, but Nie MingJue had already lost all patience, “Meng Yao, don’t speak such pretentious words in front of me. Your whole thing stopped working on me since a long time ago!”

Within a second, a few degrees of unease flashed over Jin GuangYao’s face, as though someone with an unmentionable illness was suddenly exposed in the public. There was nowhere for him to hide.

He spoke, “My whole thing? Which whole thing? Brother, you’ve always yelled at me for calculating people and being too dishonorable. You say that you’re a proud, righteous person, that you aren’t afraid of anything, that propen men shouldn’t need to play with schemes. That’s fine. Your background is noble and your cultivation is high. But what about me? Am I the same as you? First, my cultivation isn’t as firm as yours. Ever since I was born, has anyone taught me? And second, I have no prominent background. Do you think that I’m in a steady position, here at the LanlingJin Sect? Do you think that I can rise into power the moment Jin ZiXuan dies? Jin GuangShan would rather bring another illegitimate child back than want me to succeed him! You think that I should be afraid of nothing? Well I’m afraid of everything, even other people! He whose stomach is full believes not him who is starving.”

Nie MingJue replied coldly, “In the end, all you mean is that you don’t want to kill Xue Yang, that you don’t want your position at the LanlingJin Sect to waver.”

Jin GuangYao, “Of course I don’t!”

He looked up, unknown fires dancing within his eyes, “But, Brother, I have always wanted to ask you something—the lives under your hands are in any regard more than those under mine, so why is it that I only killed a few cultivators out of desperation and you keep on bringing it up, even until now?”

Nie MingJue was so enraged that he began to laugh, “Good! I’ll give you my answer. Countless souls who have fallen under my saber, but I’ve never killed out of my own desires, much less to climb up the ladder!”

Jin GuangYao, “Brother, I understand what you mean. Are you saying that all of the people you killed deserved their deaths?”

With courage gathered from nowhere, he laughed and walked a few steps closer to Nie MingJue. His voice raised as well, asking in an almost aggressive manner, “Then, may I ask, just how do you decide if someone deserves death? Are your standards absolutely correct? If I kill one but save hundreds, would the good outweigh the bad, or would I still deserve death? To do great things, sacrifices must happen.”

Nie MingJue, “Then why don’t you sacrifice yourself? Are you any nobler than them? Are you any different from them?”

Jin GuangYao stared at him. A moment later, as though he had finally either decided on something or given up on something, he replied calmly, “Yes.”

He looked up. In his expression were some of pride, some of calmness, and some of a faint insanity, “I and they, of course we are different!”

Nie MingJue was infuriated by his words and his expression.

He raised his foot. Yet, Jin GuangYao neither avoided nor took defense. The kick landed right on him, and again he rolled like a pebble down Carp Tower.

Nie Mingjue, here, is being compared to two other people: the man who kicked Meng Yao down the stairs at a brothel as the man dragged Meng Shi outside naked to humiliate her, and with Jin Guangshan--the very person Nie Mingjue’s enraged with--by doing the same thing: kicking someone he views as lower than himself down the stairs. Instead of addressing the actual problem (Jin Guangshan), he finds a scapegoat. It’s not a good look. All three of these instances are linked with society standing by and allowing it to happen, with a few exceptions: Sisi intervenes with Meng Shi, and Lan Xichen intervenes to stop Nie Mingjue from killing Jin Guangyao.

Nie Mingjue never had to kill to climb the ladder within his sect. He did have to kill to climb the ladder in the cultivational world--and he actually did so, through killing the Wens. Yes, I know Nie Mingjue killed the Wens because he wanted revenge for his father and protection for himself and his brother, but the problem is... that’s exactly what motivated Jin Guangyao: protection. Jin Guangyao just had more to fear than Nie Mingjue.

The irony of the above scene that Jin Guangyao knows killing is wrong, but it’s how to survive in this world, so he does it anyways. Nie Mingjue thinks the problem of someone thinking they are entitled to kill can be solved by killing the one who says such a thing, because he’s entitled to kill someone who thinks they’re entitled to kill-- You get the point.

That sad thing is that being shoved down the stairs doesn’t even end that scene. Nie Mingjue directly attempts to murder Jin Guangyao:

Just as Nie MingJue unsheathed his saber, Lan XiChen happened to leave the palace to see what was going on, concerned after having waited for long. Seeing the situation before him, he unsheathed Shuoyue as well, “What happened, this time?”

...

Nie MingJue, “... I know what I’m doing. He’s beyond hope. If these keeps on going, he’ll do the world harm for sure. The earlier he’s killed, the earlier we can relax!”

This does not at all justifying Jin Guangyao’s subsequent murder of him, but again, Jin Guangyao kills to protect himself, and he’s not without cause for fear of his life (this does not justify, because neither is Nie Mingjue entirely without cause, but people have gotta acknowledge that reality).

III. Reasons to Kill

I often see Nie Mingjue held up as someone who judged people based on their actions and was countercultural in that he was willing to stand up to Jin Guangshan when Jin Guangshan wanted to acquit Xue Yang of slaughtering the Chang Clan. However, this is decidedly not the case. Nie Mingjue is very much acting within society’s principals here (calling someone else out is hardly unique or noble: see, Su She, Jin Zixun, etc.) Nie Mingjue stood up to Jin Guangshan then because the crime was so severe he knew he might actually be able to win; otherwise, he let Jin Guangshan do as he wished.

To illustrate this, I’ll share the piping hot tea a commentator spilled on one of my fics recently, because she says it perfectly:

She isn’t wrong. You can hold Xue Yang--and Jin Guangyao and Wei Wuxian, for that matter--responsible for their actions and also point out the hypocrisy of a society that holds to ideals of how people behave, yet is constantly making exceptions for themselves. Nie Mingjue does just this by demanding Xue Yang’s head as a price for not killing his own sworn brother. Jiang Cheng does just this by murdering the older, helpless Wens at the Burial Mounds, and turning his back on the Wens who saved Jiang Cheng’s own life.

Why do these characters kill?

Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng killed out of revenge to honor their families and save themselves.

Jin Guangyao killed to get his father to acknowledge him as his son, and then in revenge when he realized he never would, and to save himself.

Wei Wuxian killed out of revenge and then out of despair--really, revenge against the whole cultivational world that had set him up for failure no matter what he did.

Xue Yang killed out of revenge for his little finger.

What do all of these have in common? They reveal what each person prized.

Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue prized the honor of their culture and of society.

Wei Wuxian prized his loved ones.

Jin Guangyao prized himself as his father’s son, a sort of combination of JC/NMJ’s status love and WWX’s wanting to be loved.

Xue Yang prized his body.

Xue Yang seems condemnable on paper, but let’s look at this a little deeper: what else did Xue Yang have? Nie Mingjue inherited a sect and had his beloved little brother, men who would die for him, people who admired him. Wei Wuxian had his loved ones, and then they were gone. Jin Guangyao had his dead mother’s wish for him to be approved for by society, and a famous father. What exactly did Xue Yang have besides his own body? He didn’t have parents, as far as we know. What else was he to value? Why is Nie Mingjue venerated, and Xue Yang condemned? Why is Jiang Cheng allowed to torture the poor under him for so many years, just because they reminded him of his brother, and Xue Yang hunted down?

The only answer is privilege. It’s privilege that allows Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng to decide when and how they want to enforce justice, and if they do at all. It’s privilege that they had families to avenge. It’s privilege that enables them to commit atrocities and get second, third, fourth chances. It’s privilege of his birthright than enables Jiang Cheng to never once die in the novel (Nie Mingjue not so much). But when Nie Mingjue dies, he seeks revenge on his murderer, not justice. He kills countless others in his quest to kill Jin Guangyao, people who had nothing to do with his death, and he could have killed his own brother. Even when he succeeds he ends up battling Jin Guangyao in a coffin sealed for a hundred years--hardly a victory.

So since we’ve brought him up, let’s talk Xue Yang and the Yi City trio now. The “judgy” member of the Yi City Trio is decidedly not privileged (A-Qing, as @thisworldgodonlyknows wrote about her, foils Nie Huaisang, but also she foils Nie Mingjue), and her character reveals these precise flaws in Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng. She is a beggar girl and a thief, but she seeks justice for Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan out of nothing more than love. She herself does not kill, and frankly I’d say she is the moral backbone of the series more than any other character (along with perhaps Mianmian). She was never a part of society, after all.

A-Qing dies young, alone by a river, mutilated. She has no privilege, but her spirit survives as a ghost solely because of her desire to ensure justice for Xiao Xingchen and for Song Lan. Her condemnation of Xue Yang is at first admittedly selfish--she was jealous--but then honestly understandable and easier to swallow, since she came from a similar background. But because of this, and because A-Qing is willing to empathize, she ends up understood and her wishes fulfilled. In the end, Song Lan leaves with the remains of her soul, determined to heal both her and Xiao Xingchen.

As I wrote here, A-Qing is also faced with a dark version of herself in Xue Yang. Similarly, Jiang Cheng is faced with a dark version of himself in both Su She (jealous of Lan Wangji, jealous of Wei Wuxian; he calls out their arrogance) and in Jin Guangyao in the temple, and only then is he able to move forward and grow. Nie Mingjue, unfortunately, did not recognize the dark version of himself in Jin Guangyao, and ends up trapped with him.

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txbioglow · 4 years ago

Note

Hi so about the request for the Light x L sister reader it can be Normal it doesn’t have to be Yandere is that okay ? 😀

𝗠𝗘𝗘𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗞𝗜𝗥𝗔

TYPE- oneshot (1.2k) THEATER- a STARRING- yagami light NOTE- k so like i lowkey had sm fun with this and i rlly loved this but like it’s the first thing that’s over 500 words that ive written in awhile so if it sucks omg im sorry. i left the ending up to imagination,, did they kiss or pull away or 👩‍🦯 anyway as u should y/n for not being a toy ur an independent woman period 💪💪

lightning cracked as the rain poured down, bouncing off the sides of y/n’s umbrella. something about the air was grim. well, at least that was what y/n thought as the funeral music blared. a casket was brought out, the casket of her late brother, known as l. imagine attending the funeral of your own brother, who was without a doubt viciously murdered. murdered for being the one to step up and attempt to catch kira. it was something scarring that a sister should hope to never have to go through; the death of a brother. however y/n didn’t seem to mind. sure she had a depressed facade, her face blotchy from crocodile tears, but deep down, she was jumping for joy. with l gone, killed by kira himself, no doubt, kira could finally rise up. rise and lead the new world.

so y/n sniffled and cried, earning pitiful looks from the small group attending l’s funeral. all was right in her world, though it may not seem that way. but y/n had to admit, there was one thing she just couldn’t piece together.

how did kira kill her brother? it had obviously been with a heart attack, but kira allegedly needed a name and a face to kill. l had been more careful than any, so how did kira get to him? that much she doubted she’d ever know.

yet just as if the gods had been listening, something caught her eye. a man in the back. he looked to be about the same age as her brother. the man had fair looks, he seemed decent enough. however the thing that caught y/n’s eye the most, every moment that the man believed no one was looking at him, his somber expression turned into a smirk. he was shaking, not from tears, but a silent laughter. it was almost as if he were gloating. right there at l’s funeral.

y/n was sharp, she was easily able to come up with a reason for his laughter. one that explained the very thing she had been wondering. how did kira kill her brother? something told her that this man had something to do with the matter.

the service ended soon after, y/n made sure to take her time, allowing everyone else to leave before her. eventually, the only two left in the room were the man she now knew as light, and y/n herself. light seemed like he was stalling, suspiciously finding as many things to do as he could. tying his shoe for example, or taking a mint from his pocket.

y/n of course saw through him. he had to be kira, there was no other explanation. light must’ve finally killed l, and now he wanted a moment. just to taunt l because he had won. y/n understood that well enough.

walking over to him, she smiled and tapped his shoulder. this was it, y/n was finally meeting kira himself; someone she had supported since the very beginning. “i have to admit, i didn’t exactly expect to see my brother’s killer at his funeral, kira.” she said slowly, letting it sink in.

light jumped a little, turning around to face her. he was shocked for a moment, but his relaxed smile quickly resurfaced. “me? that’s silly, i’m not kira. l was my friend, i could never kill my friend!” he laughed a little.

y/n had to admit that he did sound convincing, like he was being truthful, however y/n could still tell that he was lying through his teeth. it takes one liar to know another. “you don’t have to hide it. i support kira, my brother got what was coming to him.” she smirked a little, laughing to herself for she could practically see the cogs turning in light’s head.

he was playing a dangerous game. what if he completely admitted to it, and it turned out to be a trick just so he would confess? she did seem sincere but he had to be careful. “ah i see,” he nodded his head, “and how did you come to that conclusion?”

“you laughed. you laughed in the middle of l’s funeral. either you’re mentally ill, or kira.” she stated, soundinng more and more confident. light cursed to himself under his breath, most likely having believed no one saw him. “observant. and what is it that you want from me? be careful what you say, i’m sure you know that i can kill you on the spot.” he grumbled, his innocent and charming persona fading.

“relax!” y/n said, giving light’s shoulder a pat, “i already told you, my brother got what he deserved. i’m simply happy with knowing who you are. and perhaps what your shinigami looks like if you’re feeling nice.” she flashed a smirk, pulling light in.

something told him that she was different. different from all the other people he had used. light had to remind himself that she was nothing but an asset, someone to be used in order for him to get what he wanted.

he nodded his head, not breaking eye contact with her as he brought a piece of paper from his pocket. before y/n could react, light brushed the paper across her hand, revealing the large shinigami floating beside him. “kira at your service.” he grimaced softly, watching the woman before him lock her eyes on the creature.

so, who would’ve guessed, that l’s little sister y/n had been supporting him the entire time. that discovery could’ve been useful weeks ago. light could’ve made ages of progress, he could’ve been one step closer to creating his new world.

“i think that you could be useful” he said blatantly, confused as to why she scoffed at such an offer. “useful? so are you planning to use me? if you are, i’d play your cards right. i may support you, but i won’t throw myself at you.” she stated, bringing her face dangerously close to light’s. y/n had expected the shocked reaction that quickly flashed upon his face. he was surely used to women being infatuated with him and selling him their souls.

however he recovered quickly, “is that so? well, one plan foiled i suppose.” neither of them spoke. both seemingly mesmerized by the other. finally y/n spoke up, “i’m not sure what you’re planning, but if you think that somehow i could help you, then i think that could be arranged.”

“and what is it that you want in return?” light shot back, still speaking quietly. “is it not enough to feel the satisfaction of helping a friend?” she inquired, in a teasing manner. something about the way she spoke, it made light feel differently. once again the idea that she was more than a tool entered his mind, but of course not. he would use her, and toss her aside when she was no longer of any worth. just as he did, and would eventually do to everyone else. there was no reason for her to be something more.

“hmm,” was the only thing he said, cupping her face in his hands. staring at her directly, their faces only inches from contact, “how interesting”

𝗪𝗘𝗘𝗞𝗟𝗜𝗘𝗦- @kaminology @zerohawks @nejihoe @lazcady @linak @kageyuwu

#{ 🎞️ } theater a #kira x fem!reader #light yagami #light x reader #death note #spoiler episode 25 death note

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silvershewolf247 · 4 years ago

Note

Honestly it seems like some fans have trouble seem outside of Malcolm's pov, which is understandable given he is the show's protagonist and very sympathetic one at that. That being said regardless of how well intended Malcolm was he did make Ainsley doubt her own sense of reality and was projecting by assuming she wouldn't want to know or couldn't handle knowing. Yes the way Ainsley went about making that point was completely messed up but she did have a point to make.

Okay first things first, sorry it took me so long to get to this, I had a lot of thoughts to put together before I responded because I need to talk about Ainsley.

I’ll start with the fact that I seem to emphasize with Ainsley more than a lot of people. Maybe it’s because I am the youngest sibling, with older brothers. Maybe it’s because I have “easier mental illnesses” like OCD and ADHD in comparison to others. Maybe it’s the fact that one of my older brothers has much more severe mental health issues and I’ve been reminded how lucky I am in comparison to him and others. Maybe it’s because my mother has been my best friend since I was a teenager. Or maybe it’s because I try to be someone else's emotional support while neglecting my own mental health until I eventually snap. Maybe it’s the fact that supportive figures in my childhood have turned out to be less than ideal as of late. Bottom line, Ainsley is someone I care a lot about, and I need to talk about what is going on with her. And why she isn’t evil or abusive.

Let’s start out by debunking one argument. That being Ainsley’s lack of remorse over what she has done. Now this argument bothers me for a few reasons. Firstly, because Nicholas Endicott was a monster who deserved what he got and everyone on the show acknowledges that. Like Jessica and Malcolm do not morally disagree with killing him, Malcolm says flat out that he deserves to die. He’s just scared of being like his father and scared of losing his friends, this is an important distinction between him and Ainsley that I will get into. Secondly, we don’t see Ainsley’s initial reaction aside from her nearly crying in Malcolm’s flashback. According to Halston, she found out at some point around episode 4. Martin might have told her during their visit, she might have figured it out reading his journal, it could have been the nightmare she tells her mother about. We don’t know, we just know that by this point she has dealt with it.

Going back to Malcolm’s fear of losing his friends. Malcolm’s guilt is from having to lie to his found family at the precinct. That is what makes him feel awful. This is something Ainsley does not have. She does not have any found family to lose. Malcolm has to keep lying, Ainsley doesn’t have to. Obviously it eats her up less. Speaking of Ainsley’s support system, or lack thereof, let’s go through it. Starting up, Jessica, mother of the year, diminishes her daughter's career, blatantly insults her, emotionally neglects her for twenty years and snaps at her whenever she expresses her problems, undermines her issues, this only changes after she murders a man. Next we have Martin Whitly, out of her life for twenty years, literal serial killer, and yet somehow the most emotionally supportive member of her family. Then there’s John Watkins, Mr. Boots, childhood bestie, possible paternal figure, child groomer, who ultimately tries to murder her in favor of her brother. Gil Arroyo, Malcolm’s adopted dad who seems to find her incredibly annoying and only talks with her when somethings wrong. That leaves us with Malcolm, emotionally broken older brother and the only person Ainsley feels she can trust. Yeah, that’s destroyed. Malcolm shattered that trust with his actions. Malcolm is afraid of losing everything, Ainsley already did.

Now we’re up to Ainsley’s actions in this episode. No they weren’t gaslighting. Malcolm was not forced to question his own sanity or memories due to her actions, he was just scared of her and for her. She just lied to him, an incredibly shitty lie that horrified him, but it was just that, a lie. He also wasn’t breaking down due to it, he was scared for his sister, but he honestly seemed pretty kept together throughout the episode until the end. At which point his frustration seems to stem more from the situation he’s in and what he’s “had” to do for her. Now I fully admit that what Ainsley did was shitty. But it doesn’t make her toxic. If it does, then Malcolm is as well because he does the exact same to the people he investigates. Was it abusive, maybe, but so’s gaslighting your sister, slapping your son, and punching your friend. But these aren’t patterns of behavior, they’re one time things that happened during highly stressful and emotional situations. Speaking of which.

Yes, Malcolm did gaslight her. Gaslighting is a technique used by a lot of awful people, Malcolm doing it does not make him awful, but he lied to his sister about her memories and perception of the world and it made her emotionally spiral for months. In comparison, Ainsley let this go on for maybe two or three days, a week at most. I’d also be remiss if I didn’t mention that Ainsley gave Malcolm several opportunities to tell the truth. He had the entirety of Bad Manners and Head Case, during both of which she gives him reasons to come out with it and tries to get him to do it. She was trying to make him prove that she could still trust him, he failed to do that until he got a concussion and Ainsley decided to make sure that he never did it again.

Now Ainsley did something horrible, I fully admit that. That being said, don’t act like Malcolm would have just listened if she told him not to lie to her again. She’s already told him and her mother to stop shielding her. Now there were definitely better ways to do this. Or if she was going to scare him, scaring him and then telling him the truth the next minute, hour, morning, which would still be bad, but less so. But Malcolm is someone who learns a lot better by experiencing than listening. She was trying to show him what consequences his actions could have had. Scaring him straight. She took it way too far, but the motive was understandable.

Finally I want to dispute this idea that Ainsley is being ungrateful towards Malcolm. Firstly, she thanks him profusely in the first episode of the season. Secondly, she didn’t ask him to do this for her, and the show fully implies he might have screwed them both over by doing this instead of immediately going to the police and claiming self defense. Finally, Ainsley killing Endicott has been thanked by no one. Remember how he was going to have Malcolm sent to prison and only by getting rid of him was Malcolm able to get the DNA evidence properly refuted. One could argue Ainsley took a great risk and saved him too. Ainsley saved Malcolm from prison just as much as Malcolm saved Ainsley.

Look Ainsley is flawed, I wouldn’t love her if she wasn’t. But let’s not act like she’s crossed the moral event horizon with this. Or that she did this completely unprovoked and everything she said towards Malcolm was invalid. Both of them are broken and in pain and I hope by the end of this they can grow even closer than before.

#prodigal son spoilers #ainsley whitly #malcolm bright #prodigal son

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vivithefolle · 4 years ago

Note

Harry used Crucio on someone who had been using it on children all year and forcing students to use it on each other. It’s not this evil or morally gray moment you’re making it out to be. I would’ve finished Carrow with an Avada Kedavra after

And if you think people using it or enjoying it is wrong no matter what, than you have to call out Ron for finding the curse exciting in Goblet. Say what you want about Harry using it on an evil man, but Ron thinking the existence of such a curse is entertaining is what actual real sadism is, not just “meaning it” when you want to cast it

It’s not this evil or morally gray moment you’re making it out to be.

Um, yes, it is you clown.

“I see what Bellatrix meant,” said Harry, the blood thundering through his brain, “you need to really mean it.”

HE LITERALLY FUCKING TOOK BELLATRIX’S ADVICE. HOW MUCH MORE EVIL CAN THAT GET???

YES, Amycus is fucking scum and should face justice. NO, it’s NOT Harry’s job to deliver said justice. You’d have finished Carrow with Avada Kedavra? Do you know Avada Kedavra is more humane than a Crucio? It’s just, bright light, poof, fall dead. You don’t feel pain or anything. That’s why Bellatrix is on some level worse than Voldemort, because she delights in legit torturing people while Voldemort’s preferred thing is to just. Euthanize them.

It’s THAT discrepency I find bad. Harry never uses Avada Kedavra when on some level Avada is a kinder spell than the Cruciatus Curse. But nooo, murder is evuuulz, torture is perfectly acceptable though, especially torture on the right people! Come on, first it’s this one guy that arguably deserves it, then it’s this other guy that probably deserves it too, then it’s that other guy that may or may not deserve it, then that guy who deserves it because he’s been mean to you once...

............. and now.

You guys really love it when I fucking lose my shit, don’t you?

Fucking cunt of a liar.

You shut your fucking gob. You shut your fucking little cunt mouth and introduce a cactus to your rectum, maybe that’ll teach you some manners.

You see I fucking despise little cunts like you who blatantly fucking lie in order to pretend they’re better than the pathetic, snivelling little clumps of useless cells they really are.

"The Cruciatus Curse," said Moody. "Needs to be a bit bigger for you to get the idea," he said, pointing his wand at the spider. "Engorgio!" The spider swelled. It was now larger than a tarantula. Abandoning all pretense, Ron pushed his chair backward, as far away from Moody's desk as possible. Moody raised his wand again, pointed it at the spider, and muttered, "Crucio!" At once, the spider's legs bent in upon its body; it rolled over and began to twitchhorribly, rocking from side to side. No sound came from it, but Harry was sure that if it could have given voice, it would have been screaming. Moody did not remove his wand, and the spider started to shudder and jerk more violently - "Stop it!" Hermione said shrilly. Harry looked around at her. She was looking, not at the spider, but at Neville, and Harry, following her gaze, saw that Neville's hands were clenched upon the desk in front of him, his knuckles white, his eyes wide and horrified. Moody raised his wand. The spider's legs relaxed, but it continued to twitch. "Reducio," Moody muttered, and the spider shrank back to its proper size. He put it back into the jar. "Pain," said Moody softly. "You don't need thumbscrews or knives to torture someone if you can perform the Cruciatus Curse. . . That one was very popular once too. "Right. . . anyone know any others?" - Goblet of Fire

You see here you little fucking cunt, the only mention of Ron here is to remind us of his arachnophobia. Nowhere does he show any particular “enjoyment” or “excitement” you lying little piece of feces.

Then we can push it a little further.

They spent the rest of the lesson taking notes on each of the Unforgivable Curses. No one spoke until the bell rang - but when Moody had dismissed them and they had left the classroom, a torrent of talk burst forth. Most people were discussing the curses in awed voices - "Did you see it twitch?" "- and when he killed it - just like that!" They were talking about the lesson, Harry thought, as though it had been some sort of spectacular show, but he hadn't found it very entertaining - and nor, it seemed, had Hermione. - Goblet of Fire

You see little cunt Anon, those are children. Teenagers. Those are kids who don’t know war yet. Of course they’re fascinated and awed. They haven’t yet realized that those curses could be used on human beings. They’ve only just seen them performed on spiders. They haven’t yet made the connection. They’re detached from it. And that’s perfectly normal little bitch cunt Anon. Hermione and Harry aren’t as detached because they’re ~wow so mature~ and ~muh trauma~ respectively, but every other kid here (save Neville) has the same reaction. So either every fucking child in Hogwarts is a budding sadist except for ~Saint Potter The All-Loving Purest of Pure Heart Hero Mary Sue McCuntface~ and ~Holy Hermione Granger The Mature Wise Flower Of Mary Sue Bitcheroo~ and Neville. And given that it’s Harry McCunt Potter who used a Crucio and Hermione Cuntger who resorts to physical violence when she’s upset, I dunno, I have a feeling that maybe speaking of something that inflicts pain with awe and actually inflicting tremendous pain on someone with your own two hands are actually DIFFERENT things? Yknow, kind of like how Drabo Cuntfoy was bragging about how he was gonna kill Dumbledore but then realized he was too much of a little bitch cunt like you to actually go through with it? Because talking about a thing is very different from actually doing the thing? Hmm?

Now little cunt bitch Anon to finish this and drive the point home, you lying braindead little cunt:

"What was that about?" said Ron, watching Neville and Moody turn the corner. "I don't know," said Hermione, looking pensive. "Some lesson, though, eh?" said Ron to Harry as they set off for the Great Hall. "Fred and George were right, weren't they? He really knows his stuff, Moody, doesn't he? When he did Avada Kedavra, the way that spider just died, just snuffed it right -" But Ron fell suddenly silent at the look on Harry's face and didn't speak again until they reached the Great Hall, when he said he supposed they had better make a start on Professor Trelawney's predictions tonight, since they would take hours. - Goblet of Fire

Wow look. No mention of “excited” anywhere. Ron is just talking about the lesson and how impressive he found the Avada Kedavra, aka the most humane curse of the lot even if Rowling doesn’t seem to realize it because just like Voldemort, Rowling seems to think there’s nothing quite as bad as death, BEFORE REALIZING THAT IT’S UPSETTING HARRY AND SHUTTING HIS MOUTH. Something you could stand to learn to do, cuntface Anon, but of course you’re the little bitch ass who can say “hurrr durr rawn woud be a sadsit durr durr look ma i wipe my ass with muh bare hands and clean them with muh tongue!!!” so it shouldn’t surprise me that you’re more brainless than an amoeba.

Go back to your precious Harry Christ’s ass, Anon. Maybe one day he’ll turn around and reward you with a big gentle Cruciatus full of lurve. There’s a good sycophant.

#vivi answers #ask #harry potter #harry potter series #goblet of fire #hp meta #cruciatus curse #harry potter critical

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coline7373 · 4 years ago

Text

Teen Wolf Recc List: My Top Favourite!!!

A Non-Exhaustive List Of My Most Beloved Sterek Fics

(not even the good ones made it there, just My Favourite Ones)

@isthatbloodonhisshirt @someofusarequeer @grimreaperlover11 @offeringpeoplegumisnotcooking @samslave @namelessfanficreader @yes-yo-yum @sideeffectofthedrug @maia-nebula @citrustree @thegilewhodreamswhileawake @teen-wolf-reimagined @ohhoechyasss @theanarik @she-was-the-universe16 @stilesgrumpysourwolf @obscenitied @butimtheuglytwin @alienace

NUMBER ONE IN MY HEART !!!!!

Waiting

Not wanting to think on it took much, Stiles took a step forward and passed his hand between the bars, moving the bleeding side closer to Derek’s mouth.

“Not too close, he bites.”

Stiles snatched his hand away just as Derek had been about to lick at it. The snarl he got in response was not comforting.

“He what?” Stiles asked nervously, turning to Deaton.

The man looked a little amused. “Don’t worry, only if he doesn’t like you.”

“Well, he probably hates me, now!” Stiles insisted, turning back to Derek.

He looked extremely displeased.

Words : 81015

Tags : Alpha Derek, Feral Derek, Magical Derek, Possessive Derek, Chosen As Yearly Sacrificed Caretaker Of The Beacon Hill Beast Stiles, Compassionate Stiles, Werewolves Are People, Respecting What And Who You Don’t Understand, Hale Line Is Connected To The Nemeton Who Is Connected To Beacon Hill, Jackson Is A Douche, Stiles Is Awesome https://archiveofourown.org/works/15503010/chapters/35989302

Number Two !!!!

Don't Savage The Messenger

There is an uneasy truce between the werewolves in the woods and the humans who live in Beacon Hills, protected by a magical boundary that gives warning any time a werewolf crosses it. Then the sheriff is taken by the werewolves and his son offers himself in exchange.

Stiles promises to serve the werewolf pack, not knowing what horrible use they might have for him. But it turns out his most useful skill is the ability to cross the boundary line between humans and werewolves. Life with the werewolves is nothing like he feared and the werewolves themselves are nothing like the hunters' stories would have him believe.

Words : 172379

Tags : Werewolf Are Known, Sort Of, They Live In Separate Territories Humans Don’t Have Access To, Cold Racial War, Discrimination, Rape Threats, Non Sexual Endenture, Emissary Stiles, Just Amazing, Alpha Peters, But He’s good At It, Big Pack

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3943051/chapters/8837323

Number Three !!!

Home

January seventh. Seven days since the start of 2015, and seven days since his father’s death.

The bastard, he thinks bitterly. The past year Derek Hale had made it blatantly obvious that he hated his scrawny guts, taking every given opportunity to shove him up against a wall, growl threats in his ears and roll his eyes whenever he stepped into the room, muttering some snide comment about how spastic or idiotic he was.

So why did he fucking volunteer to take him in?

Words : 167178

Tags : Dead Sheriff, Derk and Peter are the Only Survivors of the Fire, Derek is the Alpha from the Start, Derek lives in a Mansion, Punch to the Freaking Guts, Emotionally Damaging, So Sad, Be Ready to Cry Your Heart Out, But Happy Ending, Will Leave Grief in Your Throat and Warmth in Your Heart, Masterpiece, Beautifull Fanarts, All The Feels, Very Intimate

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3195734?view_full_work=true

Number Four !!!

With or Without You

Derek thinks that the mating rituals are overly romanticized bullshit, but claiming a mate and defending them from challengers is something werewolves do, and his pack can't afford to appear weak after the fire. Especially not when Deucalion and his friends are in town for the rituals. Enter Stiles Stilinski, who offers to let Derek claim him so he won't be overrun at the ceremonies. Nothing goes as expected.

Words : 62556

Tags : Alive Laura, Alpha Laura, Cora and Peter Are Alive, Mating Games, Think Mating Run But Hunger Games Version Without The Killing Each Other, Smart Stiles, Murder Mystery, Werewolf Politics, Werewolf Are Known, Action

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070471/chapters/2148020

Number Five !!!

Sell Your Body to the Night

"No," he repeated impatiently. "I'm not a cop. I'm someone who wants to exchange my money for your sexual services. I was told you were in that line of work."

"I, uh, yeah, sorry," Stiles said. He glanced around again and then up--the full moon was almost directly overhead. Just one of those nights, maybe. "Yeah, I am. I do that."

Words : 121553

Tags : Heartbreak, Dead Sheriff, Prostitute Stiles, Stiles Is Not A Victim, Stiles Is Not Your Pretty Woman Waiting For Richard Geer, Stiles Will Save Money Then Himself, But He Doesn’t Have To, Derek Know Who He Is, One Bad Decision Per Month, Lots Of Sex And Grief, Kinky Kinks Who Kink, Aliva Laura, Alpha Laura https://archiveofourown.org/works/2838161/chapters/6366899

There's Monsters at Home

“How did you get past the wards?” Derek had put them up, with Peter’s grudging assistance, after the Alpha pack had made themselves at home a few times too many.

The guy pulled a face. “You mean the wards a five-year-old girl with the mental ability of a goldfish could deconstruct?” He blinked wide eyes at Derek. “Gee, I don’t know. It’s bound to go down as one of life’s great mysteries.”

Derek despised him.

Words : 83600

Tags : Kind Of Five Times But Each Times Is Long, Alpha Derek, Failwolf Derek, Badass Magical Stiles, Older Stiles Than In The Show But The Others Have The Same Age

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1730159/chapters/3689288

One Dollar Yoda

Stiles is an unbonded spark, so he's been dealing with courting alphas since he was ten. It's gotten a lot worse since he turned sixteen. Some are assholes, some are nice, but Stiles hasn't wanted to spend the rest of his life bound to any of them.

When Derek Hale shows up at his school, Stiles expects him to be just another asshole alpha attempting to buy him with expensive gifts. But Derek Hale puts no effort whatsoever into his courtship gifts. Stiles ought to be offended but instead he finds it refreshing.

Words : 10578

Tags : Humour, Spark Stiles, Werewolves Are Known, Reluctant Courtship

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4797854/chapters/10980425

Darling It Is No Joke

The first thing Stiles thinks when he opens the door is that it’s not his birthday, but someone has sent him some kind of cop stripper.

Words : 13250

Tags : Stiles is a little shit, So is Derek

https://archiveofourown.org/works/399194

Lock All The Doors Behind You

He has no idea what you're supposed to say when you find one of your...werewolf acquaintances, completely out of their mind, growling like they're about to see what your insides taste like. There's no handbook for this. Stiles is thinking that if he survives he might write one.

Words : 25960

Tags : Feral Derek ; Early seasons

https://archiveofourown.org/works/522776

Stilinski's Home for Wayward Wolves

“At least your puppies knock first,” Stiles snorts. “Here I thought their alpha raised them to be well-mannered.”

“There’s a sign,” Derek responds stiffly.

Stiles, whose curiosity outweighs even his hardest of grudges, abandons his chilly façade of nonchalance in a heartbeat. He jumps right up and all but pushes Derek out of the way in his effort to get to the window, and sure enough when he leans outside there’s a laminated strip of cardstock duct taped to the vinyl siding:

DON’T FORGET TO KNOCK -- Stiles gets cranky when we scare him

Or, in which Stiles Stilinski moves to Beacon Hills for his junior year of high school and accidentally adopts a pack of teenage werewolves.

Words : 35197

Tags : Pack Feels ; Early seasons but No Peter

https://archiveofourown.org/works/822737

Every Step You Take

Stiles accidentally ends up magically bound to Derek. It’s super.

Words :49347

Tags : Foced Bonding, Derek and Stiles do NOT like it

https://archiveofourown.org/works/454948?view_full_work=true

All you're giving me is friction

Stiles is Alpha bait

Words : 4707

Tags : Funny, Possessive Derek, The Alpha Pack is full of Hot Young Men who Want To Steal Stiles

https://archiveofourown.org/works/522549

Fly a Little Faster

Everyone knows when you go back in time, you shouldn't step on an ant, just in case you accidentally kill your own grandparent or something. But what happens when you go back in time and, uh, accidentally interrupt the one event that apparently made the Grumpiest Alpha in Town into a ball of mindless manpain?

Well, if Marty McFly can do it, so can Stiles Stilinski. All he has to do is get Derek and Paige to fall in love before he gets pulled back to his own time. And before he makes anything worse. That's easy as pie, right? Right?

Words : 32052

Tags : Accidental Time-Travel with a dash of tragedy and a dash of humour, Peter is a Lying Liar Who Lies

https://archiveofourown.org/works/900839

Prince Among Wolves

Looking for full day/evening sitter. 2 twin boys age 4. Must have exp. w/werewolves. Must be human. No pedophiles. No teenage girls. Pay negotiable.

Words : 101 000

Tags : Werewolves Are Known, Nanny Stiles, Businessman Derk, Cold Derek at First, Derek work All the Times But For Good Reasons, Kate is the Children’s Mother, Trans Child, Derek is Middly Transphobic at First, Learning to Become a Parent, Credible Children (not impossibly developped and sassy yet don’t know how to speak english)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/538425?view_full_work=true

Electricity In the Contact

In which Derek has been invited to the Greater Pacific Northwest Alpha Symposium (that's not what it's called, Stiles, stop saying that), and showing up unattached would mean an arranged marriage. When the rest of the pack objects, he agrees to let Stiles come along to pose as his mate. Derek is reasonably sure that he's not going to make it out of this weekend alive.

Words : 27067

Tags : Scent-Marking, Fake/Pretend, Mates, Knotting, Funny

https://archiveofourown.org/works/664623/chapters/1213111

Don't Worry Baby

"You know you're allowed to ask for vanilla sex, right?" he says, afterwards. "We can do whatever you want. That's kind of the point."

Derek doesn't respond.

Words : 20276

Tags : Prostitute Stiles Turned Kept Boy, Fucked-Up Derek Who Need A Boyfriend, Porn & Feels, Knotting, Possessive Derek, Lot of Soft Feels, Good Friend Scott

https://archiveofourown.org/works/639852

Sideways and Slantways and Longways and Backways

“I called you a slave-driver!” Stiles cried hysterically. “I called you an ogre! I stole all the blue paperclips!” Derek raised an eyebrow at him. “That’s company property!” he shouted, waving his arms madly in distress. Derek ran a hand over his face. “It’s not theft if the vice president of the company gives you permission.” (Otherwise known as the Elevator AU)

Words : 7 799

Tags : Humans AU, Office AU, Funny

https://archiveofourown.org/works/570582

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

There's something weird about Beacon Hills that Stiles can't quite put his finger on. The way everyone in town knows his name the day he arrives. The way they insist the melancholic howling that echoes through the forest every night is just a dog. The way his dad denies getting a dog, even though Stiles comes home to find one sprawled across his bed, some big black thing whose eyes gleam red in the right light. The way that massive oak tree out in the woods vibrates under his touch, pulsing with sickly life.

There's something weird going on in this town, and Stiles is determined to get to the bottom of it.

Words : 118749

Tags : Sherif Moved In BH Whiles Stiles Was In College, Stiles Is Just Here For The Summer, Alive Laura, Derek Is The Alpha From The Start, The Nemeton is Connected to The Town, Near Eveyone In BH IS In The Known, The Town Is Pack, Magic, Made Of Awesome

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1881024/chapters/4052355

Five Times the Sheriff Found Derek Hale in His Son's Bedroom

There's a pattern Sheriff Stilinski just can't ignore.

Words : 3525

Tags : What the Title Said, Humour

https://archiveofourown.org/works/520371

By Any Other Name

He doesn't know his name, he doesn't know who he is, and neither does the werewolf he's on the run with. But he's pretty sure they hunt monsters, because they seem to be really good at it.

Words : 33090

Tags : Both Stiles And Derek Get Amnesia, They Make Assumptions About Who They Were, Action

https://archiveofourown.org/collections/BrilliantRecs/works/566258

What Fresh Twilight Bullshit Is This?

“I am not Bella!” he insisted, shaking his fist angrily at Jackson, as if he’d been the one to suggest he was. “I am not Bella! I am, like, a Jacob, at least!”

Lydia made a noise of debate from his right and he whipped around to look at her.

“What?! What was that sound?!”

“You’re more of a Mike,” she insisted, shrugging neatly and flipping some curls over her shoulder.

“Wha—” Stiles had never been so offended in his life! “I am not! No way! I am a solid Jacob!”

“Mike,” she argued.

“Who’s Mike?” Scott asked.

“Shut up, Scott!” Stiles insisted, pointing a finger at him but still glaring at Lydia.

Words : 196127

Tags : Not Crack, Serious And Real Issues With Impriting, Derek Is Seriously A Creep At First, This Is Not Cute But Scary, Alive Hale, Cop Derek, College Student Stiles, Mates, Stackson BroTP, Scott and Stiles Meet In College, Really Good, Not Twilight Level of Writing, Better

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18650299/chapters/44228674

Pack Wars

Scott liked to call it the Great Pack Divide of 2012.

Derek liked to call Scott an idiot.

(Or the one where Derek kidnaps Stiles to teach Scott a lesson, and ends up learning a few things himself)

Words : 158626

Tags : Kidnapping Taken Lightly By The Captors But Not The Kidnapee, Angst And Humour, Pack Dynamics, Learning When You Think You’re Going To Teach A Lesson

https://archiveofourown.org/works/641269/chapters/1162823

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

“Derek,” Stiles groans. “You have me. You’ve always had me, you absolute moron, how many physically impossible feats of life-saving heroics do I have to perform before you get it?”

Words : 22322

Tags : Pack-Mom Stiles, Pack Feels, Stiles And Erica Are Bro, Derek Doesn’t Know How To Do Feelings, Post Seeason 2 So Jackson Is There

https://archiveofourown.org/works/529219

Divided We Stand

Derek is being pressured by his family to pick a mate, and somehow stumbles into a choice that they didn't expect and aren't sure they approve of....

Words : 156742

Tags : Lenghty, Plotty, And It’s A Serie, If You WAnt To Be Occupied For Days Here You Are, Werewolf Are Know, Searching Ceremonies, Mate, Alive Hale, Pack Dynamics, Den Maker Stiles, Antagonisitc Talia, She Will Come Around But At The End, Sass Master Peter, Courtship, Detective Stiles, Seriously, Such A Good Serie, So Much Plot, Very Interesting

https://archiveofourown.org/works/877251/chapters/1686486

Love Runs Wild

"You've got a hickey on the back of your neck!" A Neckz 'n Throats story.

Words : 9494

Tags : For Those Who Are New To TW Fandom Or Lived Under A Rock, Neck’n Throat is An AU Fanon Porn Mag Targeted Toward Werewolf Audience, And It’s Awesome, Possessive Derek, Model Derek, Model Stiles

https://archiveofourown.org/works/771875

Mated

Stiles already had a history with skin magazines for werewolves. It wasn't like he was new at this, even if his modeling portfolio was completely pathetic. He was cool and collected. He was a jaded professional. He was not at all prepared for working with Derek Hale.

Words : 37712

Tags : Necks ‘n Throat, Model Derek, Model Stiles, Past Exploitation, Past Offscreen Torture And Rape, Kate Argent Is Her Own Warning, Jackson And Lydia And Scott and Allison And Stiles Are All Friends, Derek Is A Hale Outcast, Alive Hale, Laura Is A Good Sister But A Forcefull One, Angst And Humour, The Best Revenge Is life Lived Well, Leaping Wall Of Love

https://archiveofourown.org/works/781844?view_full_work=true

My Heart Comes Tumbling Down

"This is a casual, adult relationship based on sex, and it is awesome." In which Stiles and Derek have a great time buddyfucking until a burrito ruins it all.

Words : 5689

Tags : Assumption, Discrimination Toward Hot People, Stiles Think Being A Hot Man Makes You Automatically A Player And He’s Wrong, Stiles Discover Sex, Derek Discover Feelings Again

https://archiveofourown.org/works/781057

Love So Hard, It Could Rip My Heart Out

Stiles is seventeen, and his best friend is drifting away, and his dad isn't speaking to him, so he's going to make some bad decisions. He's seventeen and he needs bad decisions to look back on when he's thirty, and nothing is a worse decision than Derek Hale. He'll let the Big Bad Wolf in, let him press Stiles down into the couch and he'll wrap his arms around him and he'll know it's a bad choice, but it's his, and Derek is here when no one else is.

Words : 7552

Tags : Stiles Think Being A Hot Man Makes You Automatically A Player And He’s Wrong, Stiles Discover Sex, Derek Discover Feelings Again, Stilinski Family Feels, Angst But Hopefull Ending

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15387474

Single Parent, Multiple Problems

Derek tries really hard to do the right thing, Stiles thinks Derek's idea of the right thing is the wrong thing, and John does his best to help.

"Is, uh--is Stiles home?" Hale is staring at the ground and his shoulders are so tense that John's tempted to say 'Boo!' just to see what'll happen.

Words :

Tags : Developping Sterek, Parenting Is Hard, Sheriff Is An Awesome Dad, Middle Of Season 2 But Melissa And John Know About Werewolves, Consent Is Sexy, Building Trust And A Relationship Before Sex

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1161275

Derelictions of Duty

No one wants to be the bearer of bad news to someone as nice as Sheriff Stilinski -- especially when he's your boss. That's why none of his employees want to be the first one to tell him about the scandalous goings-on between his only son and the former murder suspect Derek Hale. For all of their sakes, hopefully the Sheriff will find out all on his own...

(Or, 5 times a Beacon County Sheriff's Office employee witnesses the unique relationship between Stiles and Derek but neglects to tell the Sheriff and 1 time he witnesses it for himself.)

Words : 10846

Tags : Outsider POV, Mistaken For Being In A Relationship, Humour, Sheriff Is An Awesome Dad

https://archiveofourown.org/works/576645

Scent Marking For Dummies

Stiles is almost used to being chased around the school by werewolves at this point. Having to share a bed with Derek freaking Hale, on the other hand, is just needlessly complicating his life.

Words : 8824

Tags : What The Tile Said, If Scent-Marking Is Your Kink, Go For it, Humourous Situations, Obvious Stiles

https://archiveofourown.org/works/702564

That Which You Cannot Undo

By twenty-eight, Stiles has resigned himself to a quiet life of working in his magic shop, selling Jackson Whittemore fart-inducing tea, and looking after his goddaughter. It's a good life. But the quiet goes to hell when his sister, Lydia, shows up with a crispy werewolf in her trunk and a bite mark on her shoulder, because hard on her heels comes the hottest person Stiles has ever seen, and he happens to be looking for his uncle.

You know, the dead guy Stiles helped Lydia bury last night.

(Or: the Pracitical Magic AU nobody asked for.)

Words :28182

Tags : Lydia And Stiles Friendship, Orphan Stiles, Stiles Is Adopted By Lydia’s Moms, Magic Stiles, Single Parent Stiles Of His Goddaughter, Familial Love Curse, Dead Peter, Sweet Derek

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1248274

Wolf in the House

“What? It’s totally an improvement. He’s not scowling, or dating bad guys, or slinking around in unsanitary places. Still a bit paranoid, but what can you do. At least he’s a lot easier to get along with when you can buy his affections with ear rubs.”

“And you always wanted a dog,” Sheriff added wryly.

“And I always wanted a dog.”

Words : 33481

Tags : Trauma Induced Tansformation, Actual Wolf Derek, Unable to Speak or Rationalize Derek, Derek’s POV, Stilinski Family Feels, Pack Dynamic

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3992896

The Importance of Turning Around Three Times Before Lying Down

It’s like this dog has walked out of all of Stiles’ childhood dreams and into the real world just because Stiles wanted it hard enough. He is the most awesome dog ever, and he and Stiles have a bond. A deep, unbreakable bond because this animal is his soul mate, obviously. Now he just has to convince the dog of that.

Words : 31661

Tags : Alive Laura Hale, Actual Wolf Derek, Humour And Angst

https://archiveofourown.org/works/634774/chapters/1149039

Little Wild Animal

Derek Hale finds a feral human on his pack's property. Humans are supposed to be extinct. But then, Stiles is full of surprises.

Words : 61036

Tags : Extinct Humans, Feral Stiles, Kind Derek, Alive Hale, Gender Fluid Child

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3904933/chapters/8738758

Introduction to Zero-Sum Anthropology

Stiles buys Derek a set of cooking spoons. Derek retaliates with lunch.

The war begins.

Words : 19773

Tags, Humour, Post Season 3A, Gifts War

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1817704

You Don't See Straight

Stiles finds himself in a secret werewolf community to participate in a mating run. Sterek happens. Side OC's.

Words : 174981

Tags : Werewolf Community, Rape, Non Consensual Bonding, Non Consensual Mating Run, Xenophilia, Knotting, It Fuck Stiles, Derek Is Fucked Up Too, Big Paragraphs With Not A Lot Of Space, But It’s Good, Definitely Original

https://archiveofourown.org/works/441012?view_full_work=true

Crash Landers

In which Stiles learns to Stalk That Stalk. (Or, how to accidentally woo your unfriendly neighborhood alpha in roughly five hundred handwritten steps.)

Words : 31173

Tags : Stiles Leaves Derek A Fake Parking Ticket And It Kind Of Get Away From HIm, Epistolary But Not Formally So, Senior Year Of High School Post Season 2

https://archiveofourown.org/works/539061

Actions Speak Louder than Words

“I apologize.” The cop finally looked back up at his face, seeming thrilled. “It’s just—it’s been so long. And we finally have you.”

That was a bad word. Not found.

Have.

Stiles wrenched his hand free and took a step back, but before he could even think up a gameplan, he felt a prick in his neck and jerked away, reaching up to slap one hand against it and twisting in the same moment.

Words : 434619 !!!!!!!!

Tags : Supernatural Are Known, Spark Stiles, Orphan Stiles Alpha Derek, Mute Derek, Cursed Derek, Dead Sheriff, Imprisonement, Stackson Brotp, Cora And Peter Are Alive, Stress Inducing, Badass Long Fic, Longest Completed Sterek Fic

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21906259/chapters/52286296

You are the Moon

Stuff Stiles doesn’t like to deal with first thing: hot, moist dog breath in his face, a cuddly werewolf creepifying his perfectly normal morning wood with shades of bestiality, and his dad holding his service revolver up against the skull of his bedmate, never mind the fact that his bedmate could possibly be a vicious unhinged rogue omega.

Words : 10055

Tags : Alive Laura, Werewolves Are Known, Derek Is Though To Be Dead, No Sense Of Personal Boundaries Derek

https://archiveofourown.org/works/515616

Then You Think Again

"Holy crap! Why the hell did you lie to incredibly powerful magical beings with trust issues? How was that Plan A?"

Derek says, "We're not arguing about this, it's already done."

"Like hell we're not fighting about this," Stiles says, indignant. "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking it was worth the risk if it kept you alive! And it worked, so drop it."

"You had no idea that it was going to work!" Stiles throws his hands up. Why is Derek the most frustrating werewolf in the history of ever, why is Stiles even helping him, why is this his life? "Why did they even believe you in the first place?"

Derek says, "You reeked of me," which is unfair. Stiles only smelled because he'd gotten covered in Derek's bodily fluids trying to staunch the bleeding.

Words : 22552

Tags : Hags, Hags Made Them Do It, The Forced Bonding I mean

https://archiveofourown.org/works/566131

Bogarted

Alternate Title: "Dick Failwolf, Private Eye."

(Or, Derek's hit with a Film Noir curse, which forces him to narrate his own life in luridly-detailed prose.)

Words : 3126

Tags : Bottom Derek, Top Stiles, Truth Curse, Failwolf Derek, Fluff

https://archiveofourown.org/works/696371

On Building an IKEA Den for an Alpha Werewolf.

Senior Prom is coming up, and Stiles doesn't have a date. Additionally, Derek has an unfurnished apartment, and no one to take him to IKEA.

Words : 13892

Tags : Pack Mom Stiles, House Making, Failwolf Derek, Cute, Domestic

https://archiveofourown.org/works/527100/chapters/933196

The Alexandrian Solution

"I accept your body!" Stiles says hurriedly. "I accept you. Sexually."

There is a pause. Derek says, "Thanks."

Words : 5317

Tags : Knotting, Derek Didn’t Know It Was Possible, Humour, Fun Sex With Feels

https://archiveofourown.org/works/489654

Father Knows Best

Sheriff Stilinski has finally figured out the cause of the rift between them: his son's gay, and he's effectively cut that line of communication. Being the good father that he is, he tries to make sure Stiles knows that he can tell him anything, especially about Derek Hale. Their wires seem to have gotten crossed somewhere.

Words : 5984

Tags : Humour, Miscommunication, Sheriff Love His Queer Son

https://archiveofourown.org/works/574959

Things To Do On The Dates You Aren't Having

"So are we dating now or what?" Stiles asks the third time he finds himself doing the obligatory postcoital cuddling with a certain sour wolf.

Words : 5557

Tags : Humour, Stiles Bullied Derek Into Dating, Jackson in an Ahole And Lydia Is A BAMF

https://archiveofourown.org/works/406485

we can take our time

Tact and social mores are completely relegated to the back of Derek’s brain, and without thinking, he blurts out, “Did you spend your heat alone?”

Stiles’ head jerks around in surprise, and then he flushes pink and looks away. His voice comes out brusque and unfriendly. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I spend every heat alone.”

Words : 17476

Tags : Cops Stiles And Derek, A/B/O, Alpha Derek, Omega Stiles, That’s How Consent Is Done And Respected, Very Real Thoughs On What Consent Is And How It Works In An A/B/O Setting

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9965375?view_full_work=true

Come with Me and Walk the Longest Mile

"Stiles shouldn't accept rides from werewolves he meets behind abandoned convenience stores." In which the zombie apocalypse is just one of their worries.

Words : 39275

Tags : Zombie Apocalypse, Omega Stiles, Heat, Road Trip Of Survival

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2697935?view_full_work=true

Help Wanted

Nice things begin to happen to Derek Hale and it kind of freaks him out.

Words : 15593

Tags : What The Title Said, Classic Good Teen Wolf

https://archiveofourown.org/works/533677

Come Fly With Me (Or Don't)

Stiles is overworked and stressed out when his flight home gets delayed due to copious amounts of snow. He finds entertainment with one Derek Hale, whom he hasn't seen since high school but really doesn't mind getting reacquainted with.

Especially when it turns out Derek is surprisingly hilarious and will reluctantly play snap with him. And can walk on his hands.

Words : 15319

Tags : Good Old Stucked In An Airport AU Because Of The Weather, Human AU

https://archiveofourown.org/works/609537

The Chase

Derek's fourth Chase will be his last if he doesn't catch an omega this time. He's starting to doubt this whole soul-mate thing anyway, at least until someone from his past shows up and gives him the run of his life.

Words : 10435

Tags : Mating Run, Werewolf Everyone, Knotting, Alpha Derek, Omega Stiles

https://archiveofourown.org/works/848435

pretty in tents

Even though he’s making fun of it, Stiles thinks the whole thing sounds awesome and, like most stuff these days, the experience is going to be totally wasted on Scott.

Words : 7657

Tags : Fake/Pretend Relationship, Werewolf Politics/Culture, Pack Dynamic, Stiles Is Awesome

https://archiveofourown.org/works/543994

In Desperate Times

Stiles gets magic wish-granting powers, but only when he's in danger. He begins to teleport to Derek in increasingly awkward moments.

Words : 3454

Tags : What The Title Said, Awkward And funny, Those Two love Each Other Even If It Would Cut Them Up To Say So

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1391083

Whatever Works

The problem with having your soulmate's first words to you tattooed on your arm is knowing your whole life that you're fated to be with a jerk. It's enough to make Stiles want to date other people ... which is how he winds up dating his soulmate's nephew.

Words : 61929

Tags, Asexual Derek, Aromantic Peter, Sexual And Romantic Stiles, Soul Mates, Not WHat You Expected But They Make It Work, Rich Hale, Just The Kids And Peter Are Alive, Corporate Thriller, Stiles Is Awesome, Peter Is Smart, Derek Is A Sweeheart

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5943391/chapters/13665637

ADHDecaf

Stiles is 25 and runs his own coffee shop. Derek doesn't know this. Derek, a mechanic, thinks that Stiles is 17 and jail-bait.

Misunderstandings ensue.

Words : 2765

Tags : Pining, Stiles Looks Young, Idiots Crushing On Each Other

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1541012

This is Ridiculous

There's a unicorn in Beacon Hills. A fricken' unicorn. In fricken' Beacon Hills, California. And it turns out that unicorns aren't drawn towards virgins in a happy-go-lucky let-me-lay-my-not-at-all-metaphorical-horn-in-your-lap way. No. They kill them. And guess who's the only virgin idiotic enough to get sucked into the Beacon Hills supernatural scene? Stiles, that's who.

Words : 35818

Tags : What The Summary Said, Freaking Evil Unicorns, Crack Yet Not

https://archiveofourown.org/works/541020/chapters/961691

The Scientific Method

Stiles’s life was so much easier before his BFF got super powers. “But, so, werewolves have super strength, right? And super speed. And better vision, and better muscle control, and healing powers, and stuff. And some of that’s probably, like, genetic, if you can be born a werewolf. Right?”

“Yeah,” Scott says. From the perplexed look on his face, he doesn’t yet know where Stiles is going with this. “So?”

“So what if you have condom-defeating supersperm?”

Stiles has a lot of research to do. He decides Derek's kitchen is the place to do it. Derek probably regrets giving him a key.

Words : 5947

Tags : What The Summary Said, Crack Yet Not, Hilarious, Stiles Does Research

https://archiveofourown.org/works/762878

Not Quite Lost (Not Quite Found)

A year after the nogitsune is defeated, Derek is living a quiet life in the mountains above a small town in Colorado.

Then Stiles shows up.

Words : 25025

Tags : Emotional Healing, Derek Leaves Beaacon Hill After Season 3, Stiles Leaves After High School, Sad Boys But The Are Going To Get Better, Melancholy In A Beautifull Setting

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4880440

Outrun Your Ghosts

When Derek Hale arrives at the Beacon Hills Young Adult Rehabilitation Center, he plans on keeping his head down and serving the rest of his time in minimum security peace. Stiles Stilinski changes all of that.

Words : 19148

Tags : Rehab, No Werewolves, Stiles Is Still Sort Of Magic But Everyone Think He’s Mental, Derek Is Accused Of Kate’s Crimes, Everyone In Rehab, Scott And Allison Met At Anger Management Issue Anonym, Jackson Is Here Because He’s A Douche, Patient Abuse, Harris Is The Worst Everywhere

https://archiveofourown.org/works/535679

When You Stop Believing in Santa You Get Underwear

There are some salvageable things though. A virtually untouched heavy slate sign that says, engraved in an ornate script that confirms at least one person in the Hale family had a sense of humor (Stiles has a horrible suspicion it might have been Peter), When You Stop Believing in Santa You Get Underwear.

Words : 7817

Tags : Christmas Memories, Found Family, Pack Mom Stiles, The Boyd And Reyes Are Actually Include In Pack Big Gets Together, Seasonal Feels

https://archiveofourown.org/works/607336

What Goes Around

“Well,” Stiles says, “if they’re going to hunt werewolves, I’m going to hunt them.”

It’s a ridiculous statement from a ten-year-old, but he’s obviously one hundred percent sincere. For the first time since the fire, Peter feels life stir inside him, feels purpose. It’s kismet, clearly. He’ll never meet the child he would have had with Olivia. Instead he’s met this boy, this brilliant, determined, cynical child with a world of potential.

Peter kneels down in front of him so they’re at eye level. “How do you feel about doing that together?”

Words : 71451

Tags : Dead Sheriff, Dead Hale, Dark Vengeancefull Kid Stiles, Dark Vengeancefull Peter, Murder Spree, Yet Found Family, Stiles Thinks He’s Robin To Peter’s Batman, More Or Less Good Peter, No Completly Moraly Bankrupt, Still Pretty Dark, We’re Talking About Acomplice Murder At Ten Years Old, Smart Stiles And Peter, Derek Hang On For The Ride

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13560651/chapters/31118688

How far do I have to go to get to you

Stiles never knows if it's worse when Derek Hale steps out of the shadows or when he slinks back into them; either way, Stiles never expected to have this many feelings about his stupid old yellow owl shirt.

Words : 5189

Tags : Gaming, Teenagers, Derek Is Tragic But Catching Up On Late Teen Years

https://archiveofourown.org/works/509020

Fire, Fury, and Flame

Stiles Stilinski was never going to be the omega who got knocked up right after high school, and then he's accidentally artificially inseminated with a stranger's sperm. Awesome. And the father of Stiles's baby just so happens to be Derek Hale. Half-feral, quite possibly a murderer, and pursued by a gleefully sadistic band of hunters who are only too eager to use Stiles and his baby to hit Derek right where it hurts. Joy.

Words : 124597

Tags : Accidental Virginal Pregnancy, Omega Stiles, Alpha Derek Making The Best Of It, Derek Is Running From His Past, Half Feral Derek, Action, Plot, Angst Love And Badassery, Stilinski Love Each Other, Sheriff Is An Awesome Dad, So Good, Making Family, Falling In Love, Secret Werewolf Compound

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3949369?view_full_work=true

Present

When Stiles's best friend Scott presented as a werewolf, it was just the worst. It was front-page news, there were reporters outside his house asking him questions, and people at school stared and kept their distance or interrogated him mercilessly. Worst by far was that it meant Scott had to leave immediately to live with the werewolf pack in the mountains -- which no one knew anything about. Stiles couldn't even visit, so he only got to see Scott once a month when he came back to visit his mom. It sucked.

A year later, he presents too.

Words : 112399

Tags : Not Always Omega Stiles, Alpha Derek, Turned Werewolves Scott And Stiles, Werewolves Are Known, Human/Sup Segregation, Stiles Hates Derek Guts At The Start, Like Hates Him, Then Resent Him, Then Become Okay, So Slow-Burn Feels

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7946893/chapters/18168928

Like the Sun Holds the Moon

Stiles is an omega, and he's supposed to be obedient. He's supposed to mate with the stranger chosen for him and quietly disappear. He's not supposed to talk to alphas, or have sex, or fall in love. Then he meets Derek Hale. Obedience was always overrated, anyway.

Words : 118155

Tags : A/B/O Dystopia, Racism, Sexism, Omega Stiles, Alpha Derek, Omeaga Are The Lowest Of The Low But Still Too Good For Werewolf, Forbidden Love, Running Away Together, Sheriff Is A Good Father, Mpreg, Childbirth, Parenthood, Omea Rehabilitation Center, Imprisonment, Minnor Character Suicide, Short Non-Con Elements, Forced Kate/Stiles In Chapter 14, Fighting Back, Smart Stiles, So Good Derek

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5442803/chapters/12578702

Break the Lock If It Don't Fit

"Do you know what just happened?" Peter asked, frowning. "Do you know what Derek did?"

"He dislocated my shoulder," Stiles snapped, but Peter just arched an eyebrow, unimpressed by that answer.

Words :12738

Tags : Pack Dynamic, Domestic Violence, What Derek Did Was Not Romantic Sexy Or In Anyway Okay, He Apologised And Will Do Better

https://archiveofourown.org/works/504532

Theory of Overprotective Canines

Stiles is totally looking forward to living alone in his super cool apartment off-campus. He is. He is also very excited to bike to school every day, ready to set up an awesome game room, and definitely over his crush on Derek Hale. Completely over it.

Or at least he is until Derek decides he's moving in with him. And then turns out to be the perfect roommate. And then starts attending all his classes. As a wolf.

This is not going according to plan.

Words : 11798

Tags : What The Summary Said, Idiots In Love, Mutual Pining, Actual Wolf Derek, Smart Derek, Possessive Derek, Obvious Stiles, Succesfull Cohabitation Come From Compromise

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4613304

A Simple Life

Derek plans to spend the rest of his life holed up in the woods after Laura dies. Then he meets a stubborn young fox, and the stubborn young fox meets an urn of Deaton's magic powder, and his plans change.

Words :13763

Tags : Actual wolf Derek, Fox Stiles, Not A Werefox But A True Fox, Magical Powder Thanks To Deaton

https://archiveofourown.org/works/749767?view_full_work=true

A Very Special Mention For A Technically Steter Fic But It’s WIP And SUPER Long So We’re Not There Yet

Consider it Gen !!!

It’s Awesome ! Check It Out !

Fanart !

We Don't Need Grace

The only reason Stiles and Finstock even met was because the Sheriff needed someone to wear his kid out. Countless clubs and sports turned Stiles away, and the alcoholic gym owner with a foul mouth and crazy hair was the Sheriff’s last hope. What started as an awkward arrangement would become an incredible journey full of gymnastics, blue ribbons, and gold medals.

Family isn’t always blood, sometimes it’s finding someone at the right time. Sometimes family is a hyperactive kid who hangs around the gym and his coach who takes his coffee with whiskey.

Otherwise known as The Olympics AU.

Words : 53905

Tags : Uncharacteristically Bad Father Seriff But Bob Finstock Make Up For It, Sheriff Is Too Preoccupied with His Wife And Don’t Understand His Son, Alive But Of Fragile Health Claudia, Bright Stiles, Stiles Keep On Being Happy, Stiles Wants To Be Spiderman But Will Make Do With Gymnast, Bob Finstock Is Made Of Awesome, Sport !!!, Olympics !!!, Found Family, Good Bobby, Allison And Kira Apparition

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19621804/chapters/46529518

How could I forget this one?!!?!

It’s a fancomic! It’s awesome! It’s long! It’s sweet!

You haven’t lived until you’ve read it!!!

Seed Wolf!

Stiles finds a mysterious packet of seeds one day called 'Seed Wolf'. He doesn't expect anything to grow from them, maybe a flower or something to replace his beloved (and deceased) cactus Bertrand.

What grows from the little seed is surprising.

Words: Zero, obviously. But it’s really long

Tags: Awesome cuteness, Dying of cute, Thumbellina trope, Anthropomorphic animoid plant people, manga style, so sweet, fluffy tails, soulmates

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2788907

#sterek #stiles stilinski #derek hale #recc list #fanfiction #ao3 doing the good work #teen wolf fanfiction #teen wolf recc #teen wolf #fanfic reccomendation #fanfic recc

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glorious-blackout · 4 years ago

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Self-Indulgent Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino/Simulation Theory Crossover Fix-It Part Two:

@rock-n-roll-fantasy Turns out I can’t chastise you too much for not feeling satisfied with your own work because I’m not sure I’m ever going to be happy with this part 😅 Hopefully I’ve been able to (mostly) salvage it from its messy first draft form. I’ve been editing Part Three in tandem with this one so hopefully it won’t take me too long to finish that off as well. With all that preamble out of the way, I hope you enjoy this part 🥰

Part One

Original Fic

**********************************************************

Alex awoke to the sight of gentle sunbeams drifting through the window, highlighting floating dust motes as golden light cascaded towards the floorboards.

It was as warm as the clear skies outside would suggest. The logs residing in the extinguished burner had been reduced to mere blackened husks surrounded by papery strips of ash. Judging by the growing discomfort caused by the many layers covering Alex’s frame, the warmth they once provided was no longer an urgent necessity.

It took a couple of seconds for his surroundings to make sense. The unfamiliar sights and smells of the seaside cabin left him drifting in confusion, unable to remember how he wound up sleeping on the floor among a pile of sweaty bedsheets. It was only when his subconscious noted a rather significant absence that the events of yesterday resurfaced with a jolt, and he found himself torn between slipping back into a dreamless slumber and lurching to his feet in search of Matt.

Because Matt should have been there, shouldn’t he? A scattered mess of tangled bedsheets remained in the spot where he had been lying last night, but when Alex placed a hand upon their surface he found that they had grown cold. The cabin remained quiet with the exception of occasional footfalls as someone pottered about behind him, but they sounded far too heavy to belong to Matt. On top of that, Matt’s lurid jacket had been left in a heap atop the pile of sheets, the mass of LED panels dim and lifeless in the absence of power. Alex knew, or he assumed he did, that if Matt had any intention of leaving then he would have woken him first, but much as he tried, he could not remember any attempts to rouse him.

The growing heat was getting to him. Alex groaned in discomfort as he became acutely aware of the sweat gluing his jeans to his thighs, and he kicked wildly at the sheets which had entrapped him overnight. The downside of lying on a firm wooden surface with little padding made itself evident as he sat up, noting every new ache across his body with a groan as the room span in the wake of his sudden movements. Only when the world stilled and the nausea settled in his gut did he acknowledge that he appeared to be the last one up. The only person remaining in the cabin besides himself was a well-rested Jeremiah who - despite being at least two decades older than Alex - appeared to have more energy in that moment than the younger man could dream of having.

Jeremiah had noticed his tortuous awakening, if the amusement glinting in his eyes was any indication. Alex’s discomfort must have been clear as day, for the older man immediately wandered towards the stockpile of water and freed one bottle before chucking it in Alex’s direction. The action was followed by the suggestive rise of a finger to Jeremiah’s lips, leaving Alex with the distinct impression that his partner would hardly appreciate this gratuitous sharing of supplies.

Not that George appeared to be here either.

Alex barely had time to be thankful for George’s absence, for his attention was immediately drawn to the precious bottle in his hands. It occurred to him that his sluggish, pseudo-hungover state could have more to do with the fact that his mouth was as dry as a desert than he’d previously appreciated. Without a second thought, he ripped the lid from the bottle and gulped as much of the lukewarm water as he could manage in one go. He could hear a distant chuckle over the sound of liquid cascading down his throat, but any self-consciousness over what he must look like left him in an instant. He was parched and sore and far too overheated for comfort, and he’d emerged less than twenty-four hours ago onto a planet that had been ruined beyond repair. Shame was hardly an emotion he had the energy to experience.

The bottle was completely drained in record time, and Alex closed his eyes in quiet satisfaction for a moment. Only upon opening them again did he remember what had roused him with such urgency, and he cast his eyes around the cabin as though Matt could somehow be concealed within its walls. The sheer impossibility of this notion became obvious quickly, given how small their living space was, but even the outside world seemed far too quiet for his liking.

George’s absence was equally unexplained, and Alex started to wonder if the two were linked. Much as he liked and implicitly trusted Jeremiah, he couldn’t help but feel uneasy about George. The man had made no secret of his dislike for strangers the second he set eyes upon the pair of newcomers. At one point his manner had even evoked echoes of Murphy, which was hardly a marker of good character in Alex’s book. Admittedly, he knew that Matt had encountered and ultimately defeated worse foes than a grumpy middle-aged man, but it appeared that finding himself exposed to this unfamiliar world had taken hold of Alex’s nerves and dialled them up to eleven.

A fact which must have been blatantly obvious to anyone with eyes.

“Yer boy’s alright, don’t you worry,” Jeremiah announced out of the blue, chuckling with mirth when Alex turned to him, wide-eyed and more than a little frazzled. Mornings had never been his strong suit, and this one was proving to be especially strenuous. Jeremiah, on the other hand, looked perfectly serene - or as serene as a grizzled survivor could look anyway. He had been in the process of strapping himself into a pair of thick walking boots before Alex’s panic had become too blatant to ignore.

“George was all fer kickin’ ya out, but yer friend made a case fer ya hangin’ around and earnin’ yer keep,” Jeremiah explained further, heaving a sigh at the mention of his partner’s lack of hospitality. Alex felt a sliver of fear creep up his spine at the prospect of having to leave their newfound shelter so soon, followed by a spark of gratitude over the fact that Matt had apparently wrangled his way out of an early eviction. “I woulda been happy with ya stayin’ regardless, but a little extra help would be nice I s’pose. They headed off about an hour ago. George always likes ta head out before the sun grows fierce.”

“Oh,” was all Alex could say, unsure whether he should feel reassured or not. At least he finally had an explanation for Matt’s whereabouts, though he imagined it would be easier to take comfort from that if he hadn’t been paired with the very man who’d wandered into the cabin wielding a shotgun last night.

The unspoken implications of Matt’s bargaining tactics weren’t lost on him either. “Take it I’m joining you then?”

His phrasing made him come across as far more reluctant than intended, though if Jeremiah took any offence, he was gracious enough not to show it.

“Only if ya fancy it,” the older man said with a bashful shrug. Alex couldn’t help but wonder if he could detect a trace of disappointment in the man’s otherwise cheerful tone, and an uncomfortable sense of guilt coiled in his gut. “Ya could always cook dinner or give the place a bit o’ a scrub if you’d prefer?”

The proposal was almost tempting. Casting a glance around the cabin was enough to assure Alex that the place was hardly in need of an intensive cleaning session, and no doubt he could whip up something edible from the extensive stockpile of canned goods their hosts had amassed. Staying here on his own would give him time to unwind. Time to breathe. He could take a stroll across the beach and let his body sink beneath the waves, just for a little while, until any trace of lingering doubt vanished from his mind and he allowed himself to accept the fact that he had made it home.

Only, the longer he dwelled on it, the more obvious it became that spending the day alone would be a terrible idea. In Jeremiah’s company, he would at least be provided with a distraction. Someone to bounce conversation off of; someone who could offer valuable information about this world which had become so alien to him. The alternative would inevitably result in his mind subjecting him to cruel imaginings regarding the fates of his loved ones, and he knew full well that his sanity was hanging by a thread as it was. Subjecting himself to loneliness was not a good idea right now, no matter how enticing the notion may seem at first glance.

“Best not,” Alex conceded, masking his inner turmoil behind a weak smile. “Me mates always say I’m hopeless at cookin’. Doubt me mum ever rated my cleaning skills either, come to think of it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Jeremiah said with a faint chuckle, wearing an expression so carefree that his eyes were practically twinkling. He broke eye contact for only a moment, as he gathered together an old hiking rucksack and a pair of ancient fishing rods, before turning his attention back to Alex. “You ever been crab-fishin', lad?”

He had. Bitter melancholy cascaded over him as the question transported him to seaside holidays from his youth; back to lazy afternoons sat by rocky piers as his dad patiently taught him the process of fishing for crabs. As he remembered it, he always found the venture exciting for a solid half-hour, before deciding that his bucket was better-suited to building sandcastles on the nearby beach. Of all the things to be consumed by nostalgia for, he’d hardly expected crab-fishing to be one of them, but he supposed in this day and age he was doomed to become wistful about every aspect of his former life.

“Once or twice,” Alex admitted eventually. “Not since I were a kid though.”

“That’s alright,” Jeremiah said, beaming. “I ain’t had the chance to show someone the ropes for a while. Could be fun.”

With that said, he gathered his equipment together and disappeared out the door, leaving Alex on the floor with sleep clinging to his eyes and what was likely a serious case of bed-head. It struck him that Jeremiah may have expected him to follow, and with some reluctance he rose to his feet, pointedly ignoring the growl emanating from his stomach. Some food would hardly go amiss before setting off on what promised to be an intensive trip, nor would the chance to shed his sweat-stained clothes. He would not be surprised if such luxuries were denied, however. Judging by the bright sunlight beyond the window, he had likely wasted a significant chunk of the morning already, and he would no doubt be pushing his luck if he attempted to bargain for more time.

Or so he thought. While in the process of shedding his cotton jacket, Alex started as Jeremiah popped his head in the door once again with a jovialness which seemed as instinctive to him as breathing.

“You grab some breakfast now,” he ordered. While Alex doubted the man had the ability to sound stern, his tone was firm enough to convey that the demand was far from optional. Jeremiah motioned towards the extensive food stockpile with a quirk of his head – the ‘take what you like’ remaining unspoken – before pointing towards a narrow cupboard which rested beside one of the neatly-made beds. “If yer wanting a change a’ clothes, there’ll be some in that cupboard there. Can’t promise we’ll have any in yer size, but maybe you’ll get lucky. Just grab me outside when yer ready and we’ll head out together, sound like a plan?”

Once again, Alex found himself struck dumb by the man’s generosity, and all he could offer in response was a single nod. This seemed to suffice, for Jeremiah returned the action with a cheerful grin before disappearing again, whistling a jaunty tune as he went. Alex’s eyes remained pinned to the door for only a moment, until he grew tired of standing awkwardly in the middle of the room like a startled deer. Feeling empowered by Jeremiah’s offer, he made quick work of filling his belly with leftover soup and rifling through the assorted mass of clothes which had been stored away, searching for something which didn’t carry an overpowering stench of sweat.

The heat was already beginning to grow uncomfortable by the time they headed off. Alex had settled for a crumpled cotton shirt which felt more like a tunic on his slight frame, while choosing to keep his torn jeans in favour of the gaudy oversized shorts which served as his only alternative. Overhead, the sun gradually made her ascent as a colony of gulls circled the gentle waters below, squawking shrilly in vague perturbation. Treading along the sandy path towards town felt like wading through hot treacle; the air so stifling that only the breeze offered any reprieve.

Alex was grateful for the bottles of water Jeremiah had packed in his rucksack, though he knew deep down that he wouldn’t be able to restrain himself once he took that initial desperate sip. Perhaps if the agenda for the day really did involve sitting by the shore fishing for crabs, he could fling himself into the cool waters once the heat became unbearable. It was already consuming all of his willpower to avoid sprinting towards the waves as they drew closer to the smoking remnants of an abandoned resort.

The trail eventually led onto a vast car-park which stemmed from what was once a rich seaside promenade. Only two vehicles remained, strewn haphazardly across fading white lines on the cracked tarmac. No doubt they had been rotting there for years, judging by the shattered windows and rust-eaten exteriors; any attempt to drive them now would be the ultimate exercise in futility.

Jeremiah led him onwards, the route ahead seemingly memorised. Alex held his tongue as they wandered along a road lined with blackened, long-dead palm trees and gutted stores which sported naïve signs declaring a temporary closure. Though there was no sign of active fires, the smell of smoke lingered heavily in the air as they passed the ruins of what must once have been a bustling resort, accompanied by another, fouler stench which Alex could not place. Occasionally they would pass by abandoned cars or overturned buses, but no evidence of humanity remained even in the form of charred corpses. Alex had steeled himself to endure that much at least, but it would appear that fate had decided to spare him from that sight.

Not that the remains of his old home were any better. Alex had known this walkway once. During their earlier trips to LA, he had strolled along the seafront with Jamie and Matt by his side, nibbling on ice-cream and joking that moving out here wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all. The city had seemed so exciting and untouchable then; an exaggerated form of reality which didn’t play by the same rules as the rest of the universe.

Those qualities clearly hadn’t protected it from being reduced to a burning husk.

He was grateful when Jeremiah finally steered him away from the shattered resort, strolling towards the sandy beach instead. Their journey ultimately led them onto an elevated wooden pier which stretched beyond the shoreline and into the depths of the water. The structure creaked awkwardly with every footfall as they strolled towards the far end, and Alex allowed himself to breathe again as the thick stench of smoke made way for the tang of salt. The sun remained as punishing as ever but her effects were dulled, somewhat, by a cool sea breeze which ruffled his hair and kissed his sunburnt cheeks. As they approached the very end of the pier, Alex gazed into the lapping waves below and grinned as he envisioned himself diving beneath the surface and letting the cold seep into his bones.

His guide promptly got to work setting up their equipment, content to let Alex watch as he talked him through each step. A rudimentary fishing line was shoved into Alex’s hands with the hook dangling precariously from a flimsy piece of string, before Jeremiah dug through his rucksack and freed a partially squashed tin of sardines. Jeremiah wasted no time peeling the tin open and tearing one of the unfortunate sardines into two, skewering one half onto the hook of his own line before handing the other to Alex and informing him to do the same. Alex obeyed, managing not to screw up his face at the texture as he cracked a wistful joke over the days his dad would tell him to use bacon instead. Jeremiah simply guffawed, before informing him plainly that if - by some miracle - they ever stumbled upon edible bacon again, the crabs sure as hell weren’t getting a slice.

“Right, just pop the line in the water there,” Jeremiah ordered once they were ready, leaning over the wooden barrier to cast his line into the waters below. Alex did the same, keeping his distance so as not to get their lines caught in a tangle. The hook dipped beneath the surface with a subtle splash, the waters just murky enough to conceal it from view. “Crabs have a good sense a’ smell, they’ll latch on quick. Once ya feel ‘em tuggin’, ya pull ‘em up gently. Keep yer hand steady now, or the damn things’ll smash against the pier and escape.”

Alex nodded and turned his head towards the drifting line, waiting for evidence of a subtle tug. Memories of boyhood holidays by the seafront flooded back to him as his attention was consumed by the shifting waves. He recalled his father feeding him instructions in the same, easygoing manner that Jeremiah himself had adopted. He remembered the excitement of pulling on the line and spotting a crab dangling on the end. He remembered gathering his prizes in a bucket and carrying them from the pier to the shore, only to tip the bucket onto its side and watch as his crabs raced towards the waves; cheering on his favourites and ultimately chastising them when they dawdled. Alex doubted that any catches today would be so lucky. Childish games hardly had a place in the world anymore.

Soon enough, Alex began to experimentally raise his line only to find unlucky crabs nibbling at the remains embedded on the hook. Following Jeremiah’s guidance, he raised the line upwards with a gentle hand, wary of the slightest breeze which could dislodge his prey from their perch. Despite his best efforts, one or two did end up diving beneath the waves, having devoured the sardines and escaped for freedom, but for the most part he was able to ease his catches over the railing and dump the stunned crabs into the bucket Jeremiah had provided. Neither of them were particularly chatty while they worked, but Alex did catch sight of the other man’s lips curling upwards once or twice.

“Who knows?” Jeremiah said, shortly after Alex teased his third disgruntled catch of the day into the bucket. “If yer any good at this, I might take ya out on the boat one o’ these days. Haven’t had a good shipmate in a while.”

There was something wistful in the man’s tone, and Alex thought he could see a trace of sadness in his gentle blue eyes as they stretched across the waves. Alex followed his gaze and allowed himself to imagine a quiet trip on a fishing boat, with the shattered remains of LA so far behind him that he could pretend it no longer existed in that state. He imagined the crisp sea air washing over his skin and the tales Jeremiah would tell of his past life as a humble fisherman. Such a quiet fantasy to latch onto, and yet it made his heart ache all the same. The fact that it was even a possibility felt like a novelty after all those years stranded on the moon.

“I think I’d like that,” Alex said, throwing Jeremiah a shy smile which the older man eagerly returned. A trace of sadness still remained and Alex could feel his own longing for a simpler past tugging at his heart, but he cast such feelings aside and turned his attention back to the task at hand.

The sun grew hotter as the day wore on, but Alex found he no longer minded. The routine of fishing gave him something to focus on beyond the sweat trickling from his brow, and the occasional splashes from particularly vigorous waves provided ample relief. Jeremiah had finally relented and retrieved the bottles of water from his rucksack, and they cracked them open and said ‘cheers’ as though sharing a particularly cool beer. From the way their faces crumpled with relief, one could be forgiven for assuming they were enjoying something far more luxurious, though Alex had to concede that a couple of ice-cubes wouldn’t have gone amiss.

For the most part they remained quiet and focused, though after a couple of hours Alex decided to try his luck and threw some general questions in Jeremiah’s direction. Not enough to pry into the man’s private life – he doubted they were friendly enough for that – but enough to get a general gist of what life had been like in recent years. The events that transpired after his hand slipped from Miles’ grasp remained a complete mystery to him; a fact he had to be careful to conceal so as not to betray his overwhelming ignorance.

Not that the older man seemed to notice. He was quite happy to chat away while Alex listened intently, gathering clues as the conversation went on. He learned that Jeremiah had always lived by the sea and that his earliest memories revolved around going out in fishing boats with his mother. He learned that he had known George for upwards of thirty years and that the pair’s fondness for each other had survived in spite of George’s hatred of the open water and Jeremiah’s general dislike of hiking.

Perhaps most importantly, he learned that the world had started to fall apart only five years prior. Jeremiah and George had fled to the coast alongside thousands of other evacuees as wildfires tore through the forests before ultimately claiming every town and city in their path. The actual disintegration of humanity had stretched over several endless months, heralded by one disaster after another, but Jeremiah had stubbornly waited it out while the other evacuees fled towards hope which grew slimmer by the hour. At one point, he said, the beaches had been so overrun with desperate city folk that you could barely move without trampling on some poor sod who had stumbled to the ground. Many had fled as soon as hopeful stories cropped up from elsewhere, though Jeremiah could only conclude that the vast majority had wound up running to their deaths.

No doubt that knowledge had weighed heavily on Jeremiah’s mind once. Even now it appeared that he had little desire to dwell on it, for the conversation staggered to a halt and the older man simply returned to his task with a weary sigh. Alex was grateful for this, despite his curiosity. Had he pried any further, Jeremiah may have turned the tables on him and started demanding explanations he simply didn’t have. He doubted this world-weary survivor would appreciate being told that Alex had only lasted this long because his mind and body had been ensnared by a monster with the ability to create alternate realities at will. No doubt that if Alex - and by extension Matt – had been forced to experience the apocalypse at face value, they would have met the same unfortunate fate as the desperate souls who’d gathered on the beach to escape the rising flames.

On the other hand, Jeremiah seemed like the type of man who was always destined to survive such a disaster. Watching him go about his work in silent concentration gave Alex the distinct impression that, overall, his life had barely altered in the wake of the apocalypse. Perhaps certain aspects had even become easier. In many ways he seemed like a relic of a distant past, fixated only on surviving day to day while enjoying simple pleasures as and when he encountered them.

Alex couldn’t help but wonder if he would be able to achieve that level of contentment too, many years down the line.

By the time the sun began to dip, the bucket was threatening to overflow as their catches wrestled each other in a bid to reach the top. Alex carefully guided the line containing his last helping of sardines upward, watching as an unsuspecting crab latched onto its last meal with vigour. It had been several hours since he’d lost a catch to the waves below, and his patience served him well as he eased the line over the wooden barrier and roughly shook the crab free, clumps of meat still clenched in its jagged claws as it tumbled into the bucket. Despite the lack of facial expression, Alex got the dimpression that the creature was regarding him with a look of utmost betrayal once it had recovered from shock.

The heat had begun to settle, for which Alex was grateful. His bottle of water had long since been drained and he could easily envision the cherry-red hue his cheeks had acquired over the course of the afternoon. Goosebumps rose along his bare arms in the wake of a cool breeze and he found himself wiping sweat from his brow less frequently as the hours wore on. Concluding that his efforts for the day had been enough, he rested his back against the railing and let his eyes slip shut as an icy spray splashed across his back.

Jeremiah too appeared to be winding down. The man had discarded the empty tin into the depths of the water once the last clump of meat had been salvaged, and was in the process of enticing a rather stubborn crab over the precipice. Alex watched intently as the creature twisted awkwardly on the line, claw caught on the dangling hook. Before it could plunge to the depths below, Jeremiah shot out an arm and caught it mid-fall, dumping the creature alongside its friends before it could nip at his hand. With their last victim finally ensnared, Jeremiah took a moment to assess their yield before securing the bucket with a plastic lid and collecting their equipment into a neat pile.

“Not bad!” he announced with a wide grin hiding beneath his bushy beard. The sun had darkened his cheeks to a fiery red and his wild locks had been flattened under the weight of damp sweat, but the discomfort did not seem to bother him in the slightest. “Not bad at all. Ya might survive the apocalypse yet.”

His words were followed by a wink which made Alex laugh despite himself. They took a moment to simply enjoy the cool sea air; the gentle rush of waves lapping beneath their feet as the first traces of orange and pink spread across the darkening sky. With this view stretched out before them, it was easy to pretend that everything was normal. Alex could almost convince himself that the world was truly as peaceful and unbroken as it appeared, and that his home was still waiting for him mere miles away. He knew it was dangerous to get lost in thoughts like that. He knew they would only bring further pain in the long run, and yet he couldn’t stop himself. If reality insisted on being awful then he felt he was owed time to indulge in fantasy.

He’d become well-practiced in that particular art after all.

The moment passed. Jeremiah packed away the twin set of fishing lines and secured his rucksack before throwing it over his back, while Alex lifted the weighty bucket and set off in pursuit as the older man led the way.

The trip back seemed considerably more bearable in spite of the exhaustion creeping into his bones. Perhaps seeing the devastated remains of civilisation had been like tearing off a plaster, to the point where even the foul smells lacked the ability to horrify him. The promenade seemed shorter than he remembered and evidence of ancient tourist traps soon dwindled to make way for the slender walkway which would lead them back to the cabins. By the time they were on the home-stretch, the sun was beginning to sink beneath the glittering blue waves and the sky was ablaze with tangerine streaks.

It occurred to Alex that he had officially been back in the real world for over twenty-four hours. Long enough to convince himself that perhaps this wasn’t a cruelly elaborate dream after all.

George and Matthew were still nowhere to be seen by the time they reached the cabin. A sliver of discomfort eased its way into Alex’s gut at the pervasive quiet which greeted him. Jeremiah didn’t seem particularly bothered by their absence, however, and was quick to assure him that George rarely made it home before he did. This didn’t strike Alex as being particularly heartening, as surely having an extra pair of hands would have made George’s role considerably easier, but he elected not to mention it. Instead, he allowed Jeremiah to take the bucket from his hands and gladly agreed when the older man suggested he go outside and start a campfire, as it turned out he had little desire to watch the unfortunate crabs meet their fate once Jeremiah started preparing dinner.

Starting a campfire was a considerably easier task than Alex had expected. The fact that George had amassed an impressive quantity of lighters and matches certainly helped, as did the abundance of brittle branches which lay scattered across the beach. George and Jeremiah had already created a tiny nook for such a purpose; the remains of previous campfires lay scorched and blackened within a ring of scattered logs which provided adequate seating. Childhood memories of countryside holidays once again proved fruitful as Alex got to work, and before long he found himself warming his hands above crackling flames as a mere spark succeeded in setting his collection of sticks alight. The sky above provided a similar fiery glow, with scattered grey clouds giving the impression of smoke drifting among orange embers. Content with his task, Alex settled against one of the fallen logs and simply gazed at the sky as exhaustion and hunger took hold and the fire bathed him in pleasant warmth.

It wasn’t long before an orange glow emanated from the cabin windows. Shadows were visible from within as Jeremiah set about preparing their evening meal, his large mass occasionally passing by the window and blocking the firelight from view. Bored of the sky, Alex directed his attention towards the resort, keeping his eyes peeled for a pair of returning travelers. He knew deep down that he should take comfort from Jeremiah’s lack of concern, yet anxiety clawed at his throat regardless. Matt and George had been gone far longer than Alex had even been awake. Given the late hour at which George had arrived home last night, his mind filled with images of Matt in nothing more than a t-shirt and jeans, slowly freezing as George plowed on in thermals and a snug jacket. The chill was nowhere near that fierce just yet – if anything the breeze was a pleasantly cool balm after the earlier scorch – but Alex knew from experience that it would not be long before the cold was creeping upon them like an icy specter.

Such fears were unfounded of course, though that did little to calm the sense of relief which gripped him as a trio of shadows appeared on the horizon. Midnight’s slender form was unmistakable as she was led by the reins by a much smaller shadow, both of them tailing a hulking giant of a man. The leader plowed on with little regard for his companions, but seeing as Alex had envisioned Matt being left for dead in a ditch somewhere, he was willing to take the fact that all three had returned as a sign that George didn’t completely hate the idea of company.

George appeared to change course as soon as he noted the smoking campfire, detouring away from the cabin towards the small nook where Alex had settled himself. As much as he knew his feelings were irrational, Alex couldn’t help but squirm as the older man approached with his lips set in a grim line and eyes narrowed to grey slits.

“Your friend’s an idiot,” he announced with zero preamble, before turning on his heel and storming off towards the cabin. His stuffed rucksack weighed him down as he went, giving him a hunchbacked appearance which Alex may have laughed at if he had the courage. He valued his life far too highly for that however, and settled instead for turning to the approaching figure of Matt in stunned silence, hoping that he may be able to provide some form of explanation for their host’s wrath.

In contrast to George’s simmering anger, Matt looked positively chuffed as he approached with a stoic Midnight in tow. It struck Alex then that this was the only time he had ever seen Matt wearing normal clothes. The bright red jeans still clung to his legs and no doubt his trainers were the same shiny monstrosities from before, albeit thick mud had since claimed every inch of their surface. Instead of shimmering neon decorating his torso there was only a white t-shirt, however. His face was faintly pink and his arms were tanned from the sun, a paler outline just visible beneath the fabric as he tethered Midnight to a log, but his ridiculous sunglasses were nowhere to be seen. One could almost mistake him for ordinary in this light.

They would be wrong of course, but Alex wouldn’t blame anyone for thinking it.

The source of Matt’s joy and George’s displeasure became obvious soon enough. Once he’d overcome the distraction of Matt looking like a normal person rather than a reality-hopping outlaw, Alex’s eyes widened as he set his sights on the acoustic strapped precariously to Matt’s back. His excitement was clearly obvious, for Matt halted his delicate strokes of Midnight’s mane in order to flip the guitar round his torso until it was perfectly balanced in his hands, his long fingers resting over the delicate strings.

The instrument had clearly seen better days. Its once sleek mahogany surface was tarnished by scuff marks and scratches, and the strings would ideally need changing before any attempts were made to play them, though that didn’t dissuade Matt from carefully tuning them as he came to sit by Alex’s side. The neck was intact at least, though Alex had heard enough rumours of Matt’s onstage antics to wonder just how long the poor thing would survive. Not that he could talk, considering how many roadies he had pissed off back in the day due to his flagrant abuse of microphone stands.

“George thinks you’re an idiot for rescuing that thing, by the way,” Alex informed Matt with a playful smirk as the man started to play a classical melody. The tone was surprisingly pleasant given that the instrument likely hadn’t been touched in years, and Alex’s jibe did little to distract Matt from weaving a complex improvisation with ease.

“Oh I know,” Matt shot back with a wicked grin, letting the melody fade out before amusing himself by strumming simple chords instead. “He wouldn’t shut up about it the whole way back. Kept going on about the fact that his excursions are about searching for food and medicine and stuff that’s actually ‘useful’. Don’t think he appreciated it when I told him that life without a guitar isn’t worth living.”

“He’s not a connoisseur of music then?” Alex remarked. “You know what, I’d never have guessed.”

“Nah, doubt he’s whimsical enough for any of that nonsense,” Matt agreed, his smile softening as he raised the ragged guitar-strap over his head and settled his new love gently by his feet. A small carrier bag joined it on the sand, in which Alex could see a collection of t-shirts and likely outdated packets of paracetamol, but it seemed Matt had spent more energy carting the guitar back than salvaging anything George would consider valuable. “He wasn’t so bad though. I mean, he clearly didn’t like the idea of me tagging along, but he started to open up a bit once we got going. Stopped treating me like I was invisible anyway. I bet he’s a real softie once you get to know him.”

As much as Matt’s words dripped with sarcasm, something about his sincere smile implied that on some level, he believed what he was saying. Whether that was merely naïve optimism or an acute observation based on his time with George was unclear, but Alex was willing to take it as a somewhat reassuring sign. Perhaps their host really was a mere grump as opposed to the dangerous menace his imagination had concocted.

Any retort died on his tongue as he spotted Jeremiah and George approaching from the cabin, each sporting a pair of steaming bowls. The aroma of rich soup grew more enticing as they came closer, and by the time Jeremiah carefully eased one of the bowls into Alex’s waiting hands his mouth was watering as his stomach growled with hunger. The creamy soup closely resembled the seafood chowder from the night before, with the exception that this one had been created with crabmeat alone. Any guilt over the fate of his unfortunate catches vanished in an instant as Alex inhaled deeply before digging in with only slightly more tact than the night before.

They ate in relative peace, the quiet broken only by the crackling fire and the hushed voices of Jeremiah and George as they compared notes from their day. Despite George’s intimidating approach upon returning to the cabin, he showed little animosity towards his guests as they sat by the campfire. Alex could even have sworn that he’d given Matt a friendly nod upon handing him his bowl. Jeremiah remained his usual jovial self - which was considerably less surprising - and even asked Alex if he wanted seconds once his bowl was empty, to which he politely declined. As delicious as the soup was, everyone seemed to agree that it was far too filling for the notion of second portions to be entertained, and so they simply sat back once all four bowls were polished off, feeling full and sated.

It wasn’t long before the sun finally dipped beneath the waves and deep blues permeated the sky. Any remaining streaks of tangerine were banished in favour of an ever-darkening canvas dotted with glowing stars. The breeze started to carry the threat of ice with it, sending a shiver through Alex’s frame whenever it beckoned, but the heat from the flickering flames provided ample protection for the moment.

Without prompting, Matt lifted the rescued acoustic and started to strum absent-mindedly at the strings, frowning at every imperceptible error and twisting the tuning pegs until the rich sound satisfied him fully. He seemed entirely ignorant of his audience, closing his eyes and losing himself to the music once it overcame him. His fingers danced elegantly across the strings, unleashing a gorgeous Spanish-inspired piece as though he’d been performing onstage only yesterday. Perhaps Alex would have been slightly jealous once upon a time, but for now he was content to simply watch with a small smile tugging at his lips. The piece eventually faded into the distantly familiar chords of ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’, and Alex spotted Matt opening his mouth a couple of times as though intending to sing before ultimately deciding against it.

The final chords sounded abruptly as Matt opened his eyes and became aware of the three sets of eyes fixated on him. Nobody said a word, perhaps too enthralled to urge him to continue, but his eyes met Alex’s and he smiled before freeing himself from the strap and handing the guitar over. It lingered between them for several seconds as Alex gaped at it, torn between desperation to lay his hands on a real guitar and terror at the possibility that his skills may have left him. Even if his experiences in the hotel counted for anything, he still spent upwards of five years relying mostly on piano, with the guitar being reserved for special occasions or more energetic crowds.

Ultimately, the itch to play again overcame any self-consciousness. He took the instrument in his hands with a degree of reverence before letting it rest in his lap. For a few moments his fingers merely ghosted over the frets as songs battled for dominance in his brain; everything from his own work to David Bowie screaming to be played while his hands remained stock-still. When he finally did begin to play, the song remained a mystery even to him. He took a moment to simply adapt to the instrument and the sensation of playing again, grateful that his muscle memory appeared to be serving him well, and a shy smile crept over his face as the familiar notes of Leonard Cohen washed over the small gathering.

The urge to sing wrestled with him too, but he crushed it down and focused on the simple act of playing the chords to ‘Is This What You Wanted’. A sharp ache pierced his heart like an arrowhead as the music transported him to a summer he’d never wanted to end; to non-stop laughter and the sweet sensation of looking across the stage to find Miles smiling back at him. He imagined that even if he wanted to sing, he would find himself choking on the words and butchering the song in the process, so the stripped-down instrumental would have to suffice.

Or so he thought, only to be proven wrong the instant a rich baritone voice joined the fray. Alex’s fingers stumbled for only a millisecond before he recovered himself. He looked up to watch as Jeremiah sang along with his eyes closed, a wistful smile playing across his lips as the music seemed to transport him back to a distant past.

His voice could hardly be called perfect on a technical level, but that only made it more beautiful. His tone was rich – the imperfections adding more character than polish ever could – and his raspy vocals added a maturity that Alex doubted he would have been able to capture himself. He grinned when Jeremiah opened his eyes and winked at him, before turning his attention fully to the acoustic, ensuring that each note landed perfectly so as not to ruin the impromptu performance.

The air was broken by an excitable whoop and applause from Matt once the final notes faded into nothingness, and Jeremiah chuckled before giving the gathering a little bow. Alex’s heart was so lifted that he thought nothing of shedding the acoustic and offering it over to George, who happened to be closest to him. In keeping with the man’s earlier attitude, he simply refused with a shake of his head, though in the flickering firelight his eyes appeared softer than Alex had ever seen them. Undeterred, Alex simply shrugged before handing the guitar back to Matt. His friend seemed to have been rejuvenated by his and Jeremiah’s unconventional duet, and once the guitar was back in his hands, he launched into an excitable interrogation of the older man, employing his usual scatter-gun delivery in the process.

The pair quickly bonded over a shared love of Nina Simone and especially Tom Waits. Before long, Matt was launching into the guitar chords of ‘Blue Valentine’ while Jeremiah effortlessly sang the vocal, capturing the precise gravitas that such a song demanded despite the smile lurking on his jolly face. Alex contented himself with simply sitting back and watching, before turning his eyes to George.

The man had been conspicuously quiet all night. Alex wasn’t entirely sure what he expected to find on his face, though he would have bet money on detecting a certain degree of disapproval resting upon a deep frown. What he wasn’t expecting was the unmistakable fondness radiating from the man’s eyes as his gaze lingered heavily on Jeremiah, nor the gentle smile tugging at his lips as he fought to keep his expression neutral. Any tension which had gripped his bulky frame had melted away and he seemed positively relaxed, in sharp contrast to every interaction Alex had shared with him. The sight made him wonder if Matt’s earlier assessment could be closer to the truth than he had previously appreciated. At the very least, it appeared that Jeremiah was George’s sole weakness, and the sight tugged at Alex’s heart in a manner which forced him to avert his eyes.

They continued their back-and-forth with Matt and Alex taking turns on the guitar while Jeremiah took up vocal duties, until the fire started to die within its nest and the night’s chill chased them all back towards the cabin. Thankfully their temporary home had been gradually warmed by the log burner and Alex wasn’t forced to relive the bone-chilling sensations of the previous night. A strange wave of contentment gripped him by the hand and settled in his chest as he laid down and rested his head upon the folded jumper which served as his makeshift pillow. He was still exhausted from the day’s trek and a degree of uncertainty remained over how long he and Matt would be able to remain as guests, but none of that mattered.

In contrast to the fear which had consumed him the night before, the pervading feeling which claimed him as Jeremiah bade them all a sleepy ‘goodnight’ was that, somehow, the future might not be entirely terrible.

#does this sequel already have a title? yes #am I still going to insist on giving it that overlong intro every time? also yes #arctic monkeys #muse #Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino #Simulation Theory #my fic

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nobodyfamousposts · 5 years ago

Text

Missing Interlude - Alix and Nathaniel

Alix was not necessarily the calm one. She got angry. And she got angry rather easily.

What she was—or rather what she liked to think she was—was the rational one. When Marinette was spiraling into “what if‘s“ or Alya was trying to chase after the latest Akuma, Alix was the one pointing out logic and quickly texting Nino so he’d know to rein his girlfriend in.

Most wouldn’t expect it of her, not thinking the little pinkette to be the type. She was a good listener and also prone to reframing things and considering more likely reasons and outcomes.

When Nathaniel thought he was being pranked, Alix was the one to remind him that the people he was accusing were good people and were far from the type to pull tricks, much less hurtful ones. When Marinette would panic over the latest issue with Adrien, Alix was the one helping her to stay calm. And when her watch suddenly started spouting a message for Ladybug, Alix was the one trying to hunt the hero down to get her the message and end up meeting with her future self.

...Okay, that last one was a bit out of the ordinary, but the point still stands.

So that was why Alix tended to take everything with a grain of salt. Not only that, but she also tried to stay observant, paying close attention to her surroundings and the people around her. It helped with her skating so as to make sure she didn’t run into anyone. But it also helped when conflict happened, like the current situation with Marinette and Lila.

And that was why she noticed things.

It was obvious that Marinette despised Lila—she hated lies so it only made sense she wasn’t particularly adept at lying herself. So while she may try to hide it, Marinette’s feelings were always blatantly clear. She couldn’t stand Chloe. And she certainly didn’t like Lila.

But it wasn’t difficult to see that Lila didn’t like Marinette either. Not if one was really looking.

And while Alix wouldn’t really admit it, she was better at observation than people would expect. It was how she knew that—while not necessarily “wrong”, something was still “off” about the issues between the two girls. And it wasn’t just on Marinette’s end.

Marinette wasn’t one to jump to conclusions and stay firmly planted where she landed. She was big on second chances. And while she could go to extremes amidst her imagined worst case scenarios, she generally didn’t act poorly to people without reason, even if they were people she didn’t like. In fact, it was difficult for Marinette to dislike someone in general. She’d only ever known Marinette to dislike Chloe—for obvious reasons. Then there was Adrien for the short time she thought he’d put gum on her seat as a prank. And then Kagami, who admittedly struggled to get along with anyone.

And now Lila.

Lila, whom as far as Alix knew, had no interaction with Marinette before she left to globe trot. And no reason for Marinette to dislike her...other than the seat change, but even that was more on them for moving her without asking than it was Lila being there. Honestly, she was pretty sure that Marinette had only heard of Lila second-hand. They certainly hadn’t had the chance to meet before Lila left, what with Marinette being out sick at that time.

Except...

On Heroes Day, Marinette had countered Lila’s claim to be with Prince Ali over the video call. Alix saw Marinette with her phone out and pulling up information as the call was happening. That meant she was specifically looking to disprove whatever Lila said.

Why do that and intentionally try to call out Lila?

Why do that unless she knew there was something to call out?

And Lila seemed to know it. She could tell Marinette didn’t like her, and it wasn’t hard to guess it was because Marinette didn’t trust what she was saying was true. But weirdly enough, Lila wasn’t doing anything to help actually resolve the situation, despite any of her claims of wanting a peaceful and amicable resolution.

No, if anything, she was stirring the pot rather than taking it off the stove.

For all of Lila’s complaints about the other girl, she seemed to be the one instigating their meetings. Alix would have expected Lila to want to stay away if it bothered her that much. Except that rather than avoid Marinette or just not have anything to do with her, Lila seemed to be seeking her out. To the contrary, it was Marinette who would go out of her way to avoid Lila.

And Lila would take offense to that. She would dab at her eyes, look so depressed, and bemoan the idea that Marinette didn’t like her. It’d get a reaction as of course everyone would try to reassure her—even Alix had the first few times. And it had certainly gotten Alya frustrated with Marinette on several occasions when she would bail on planned get-togethers if she knew Lila would be there. But if there was really an issue, then Lila should have been relieved that Marinette was not around rather than upset.

Her behavior didn’t make sense. Alix hadn’t been sure what to think at first, though she knew it was rather strange. Maybe it was Lila’s personality? Or just her mannerisms? Maybe Alix was just reading her wrong?

Because surely Lila wouldn’t be trying to intentionally make Marinette look bad.

Surely Lila wouldn’t be lying and spreading false rumors.

Surely Lila wanted to find Marinette just as much as the rest of them.

Surely...

But then then today happened, and suddenly it wasn’t just Marinette who had a problem with Lila anymore. Nino had been strangely quiet around her. Alya looked like she was inches away from yelling. Adrien appeared even more uncomfortable than usual when Lila tried to keep hold of his arm. Even Chloe was paying more attention to the Italian girl, looking like she wanted to say something but was constantly holding herself back as she eyed everyone who happened to be around at the time. And there was an underlying tension in the room that only seemed to grow as the day continued.

It all erupted into the incident with Alya suddenly ‘going off’ and attacking the other girl.

Or so Lila claimed.

First Marinette. Now Alya. Both having some issue with Lila.

Alix could attribute it to the two being best friends. It would make sense for Alya to side with Marinette over Lila if it came down to some conflict between the two. But up until today, Alya has been firmly of the opinion that Lila was awesome and whatever issue Marinette had was on her and something she needed to get over. Before Marinette had disappeared, Alya had been getting more frustrated with her for her resistance to going out if Lila was there. All of which she put solely on Marinette while attempting to console Lila, saying Marinette was the one with the problem and that she would get over it. Even after she vanished, Alya’s opinion of Lila remained positive.

That wasn’t the sort of thing that changed in the span of a day.

Not unless something happened.

And as Alya told her the whole story, she got a clearer picture of what that “something” was.

She couldn’t blame Alya for being angry. Hell, she was feeling pretty ticked off herself. But before she could reassure her or simply tell her as such, Alya was called into the Principal’s office. The sound of the door closing behind her left Alix with a sense of impending doom, and she had a feeling she already knew what the verdict was going to be...regardless of any attempts on Alya’s part to defend herself.

That was why Alix didn’t waste time.

She couldn’t do much about the Principal or Ms. Bustier. And Rose and Juleka had firmly been in Lila’s corner as they both tried to get Lila help for her “injury”. Alix knew there wasn’t much she could do for any of them. But she could at least reach out to other classmates who may not have been fed Lila’s story of the events. And maybe from there they could do something to help.

It was fortunate then that she knew exactly where one classmate in particular was at this time.

“Nathaniel!” She shouted, banging the door to the art room open.

The red-headed artist jumped in surprise, dropping his tablet and sending several pencils falling to the floor. “Alix?”

The explanation of what happened was not an easy one for her to repeat nor for him to hear. But they both took it in stride. At the very least, Nathaniel let her finish explaining before he reacted.

Unfortunately, his reaction was not quite what Alix had been hoping for.

“I just can’t believe Alya would do that.” He murmured, setting the art supplies back in place. “It doesn’t sound like her.”

“That’s because she wouldn’t.” Alix insisted. She’d been hoping he would have been more skeptical of Lila’s claim. She shouldn’t have been surprised though. Nathaniel had a bit of a history of jumping to conclusions.

“Are you sure?” He asked. “Akumatizations happen all the time over less. With all the stress from everything and Marinette’s disappearance? It is possibly Alya could have just overreacted to something.”

Yeah, no. Not buying that.

If Alya did hit Lila, it sounds like she would’ve been justified. Because if Alix had been there when anyone tried saying such things about Marinette to Adrien or anyone else for that matter, she would have decked them, too. And she would have been damn proud of it.

Alya was the same way. That was why Alix knew she was telling the truth when she said she hadn’t done it.

“But up until that point, she’d been nothing but positive about Lila. She had been the main one defending Lila and trying to get Marinette to get along with her.” She explained. “Not to mention that it says something when she regrets the fact that she DIDN’T hit Lila.”

He huffed, amused. “Of course that would be the thing to regret in this situation.”

She shrugged. “Well, if she’s being blamed for it anyway…”

“No, I get that. But the question is why? Reasonably, it could be second hand hate on Marinette’s behalf.” He noted. He wasn’t trying to argue exactly, but he certainly didn’t want to rush to any conclusions. “Especially since Marinette never liked Lila and went missing the day Alya tried to push her to go on that lunch date Lila would be present for.”

She strongly disagreed. “Except that this change in attitude only happened today. Even yesterday, she was nothing but friendly to Lila.”

“That’s true.” He acknowledged.

“Also,” Alix continued, “Alya is assertive, but she’s never been violent. Even when arguing with Chloe, she’s only ever used her words. She never actually hit Chloe no matter how angry Chloe got her. And it’s Chloe, so that’s saying something.”

Nathaniel nodded. “If anyone could be pushed to violence, Chloe would be the one doing the pushing to get them there.”

She was starting to convince him, she could tell. So she pressed on, more earnestly. “And despite everything Chloe’s done so far, she’s only ever been attacked by akumas. Even with Alya. So it doesn’t make sense that Alya would attack Lila out of the blue if she hadn’t done anything.”

He looked uncertain and uncomfortable at that. “That kind of sounds like victim blaming. I mean, if Lila was attacked...are we really going to argue that she deserved it?”

“I’m not saying Lila deserved it.” Although if what Alya said was true, she certainly would have. “I’m saying it doesn’t fit with what we know of Alya.”

“But it doesn’t fit with what we know of Lila, either.” He argued. While he didn’t want to pick sides, he certainly didn’t want to jump in on the accusations that someone he considered a friend had been lying to him. He’d already gotten into trouble a few times because of that.

“Doesn’t it?” Alix asked. “We’ve known Alya all of this school year. We know the type of person she is. Her personality, her interests, her habits and reactions.” And that while not a pacifist, Alya certainly wouldn’t go off and attack someone out of the blue. No, the true uncertainty rest with...

“But what do we know about Lila?”

“Well…” He started ticking off his fingers as he counted. “Her mother is a diplomat. She saved Jagged Stone’s cat. She’s done work with Prince Ali to help with the environment. She’s done modeling before. She’s worked with some Hollywood movie producers.” He looked up at Alix, shrugging. “She’s done a lot of things.”

“But that’s just it!” She countered, visibly frustrated. “That’s all what she SAYS she’s done. She SAYS she traveled. She SAYS she’s met all these famous people. She SAYS she’s done all these good deeds. But that’s all just her talking about herself—which she does a lot, if you think about it. It’s always been things she says she’s done or people she says she knows. So when have we actually seen her do any of these amazing things she says she’s capable of?”

“She can’t.” Nathaniel pointed out. “She has arthritis so she can’t use her hands as effectively.”

“How convenient.” Alix scoffed, because wasn’t it so very convenient that she was struck with so many maladies when the time came for Lila to actually follow up on any of her claims?

He frowned, a bit put off by her sarcasm. “It’s just coincidence.”

“So is her inability to show off her supposed ‘professional skating skills’ due to an ankle injury. As well as her sprained wrist that keeps her from lifting her own lunch tray. And her arthritis that keeps her from taking her own notes in class.”

All of which were things Marinette had tried to refute or point out the holes in.

Nathaniel started to look a bit sheepish at that. “Well…”

“Let’s not forget how her tinnitus was apparently SO bad she just HAD to sit in the seat specifically next to Adrien at the front, only for it to MIRACULOUSLY be cured right when Adrien sat in the back so she could just HAPPEN to sit next to him again.”

He frowned, remembering the incident. That...was true. And a bit strange now that he actually thought about it.

“Marinette hates lies.” She stated, flatly. “She hates lying and she hates when other people do it. She wouldn’t lie about someone else lying. So it’s either that she’s mistaken about Lila or it’s that Lila is actually lying to us.”

“Marinette has made mistakes before.” Nathaniel noted. Because that could have explained her animosity. After all, she’d hated Adrien at first as well.

“Yeah, so has everyone.” Alix retorted, somewhat defensive on the girl’s behalf. “But whenever Marinette has made a mistake, she would acknowledge it, apologize, and try to make up for it. Don’t you think she would have done that with Lila by now? So why hasn’t she?”

“She does get jealous easily.”

Alix sighed. He did have a point.

If it had been before Heroes Day—or even just months before, she might have agreed with him and accepted things as is. But observation was one of her lesser noted skills. And even if she had fought against it at the time, she remembered how Marinette was willing to help Adrien on his date with Kagami. But that was a private matter and not something Nathaniel needed to know. Nor would it help right now when the issue to be addressed was supposed to be about Lila.

“We can’t brush this off as jealousy or we’ll be missing things.” She said instead. “She’s been able to put her jealousy aside and admit when she was wrong before.”

That was true. He had to nod in semi-reluctant agreement. Because just as he wanted to trust Lila, he wanted to believe in Marinette as well. And Marinette had generally been the sort to put her own feelings aside when necessary to do the right thing.

But still...

“Marinette was particularly thorough about this.” Alix explained. “She was looking up things and trying to refute some of Lila’s claims as she was making them. Like she knew there would be inconsistencies.”

“Well sure, but if you dig enough, you can find anything to cast suspicion on someone.” He countered.

“That’s true.” She admitted. “But in that case, if she could dig to find information on someone to make them look bad, where is the information to make Lila look good?”

Nathaniel frowned in confusion at that. “What do you mean?”

“Marinette will at least admit it when she knows she’s in the wrong. All it would have taken to resolve this at any point was some sort of proof of Lila’s claims for Marinette to realize she was wrong. But if anything, Marinette was the one looking up facts all this time, so wouldn’t she know by now if she was mistaken?”

He hesitated. “If she’s looking in the wrong place...”

“Has Lila offered any proof to back her stories?”

Nathaniel paused at that, considering.

When HAD Lila ever given proof of anything she claimed?

“We saw her calling us from places she traveled to.” He pointed out. Because that was one thing that could be proven, at least.

Alix purses her lips in irritation, trying to remember and reevaluate those instances. “But wasn’t it strange? She was always calling from a street or in front of a notable landmark instead of from a hotel room or the embassy.”

“Maybe she wanted to show us the sights?”

“Then why not send us pictures? Of multiple places or from different angles?”

He frowned. She had a point, but...

“We can’t assume because of that. There could be reasons she hasn’t shown us.”

He wasn’t wrong. The lack of a specific type of proof didn’t mean it wasn’t true. If she wasn’t lying, there could still be any number of reasons she wouldn’t have photographs on hand. And even if she did, it’s possible she could have photoshopped them anyway.

“Okay.” Alix conceded. “But are there reasons she had working reception? With no lag or disconnect? And if she’s calling from public spaces, why was there never anyone else around?”

His eyes widened. Because that…that couldn’t be right, could it?

He tried to think back to her video calls. Each one featured her in front of some sort of landmark. Not always anything big or fancy, but definitely something of note.

But not once during any of those calls could he recall seeing anyone else. No pedestrians to be seen. No cars or vehicles. No animals. Not even an occasional bird. And her voice had always come through clearly, never having to fight to be heard past any sort of background noise.

Noises and signs of life that should have been there if she really HAD been outside and in such public places.

If anything, he recalled how at times, the places she seemed to be located at in her video calls had appeared almost flat and stilted to his artist’s eye. He had shrugged it off at the time, figuring it may have just been the camera she was using. But...if it was a poster? Or some sort of false background she was using?

It only made Alix’s accusations all the more glaring. All the things he had heard regarding Lila were either directly from the girl in question or second-hand from others while still citing Lila. He’d never actually witnessed true evidence of any of her claims compared to Marinette (who he knew actually worked with Jagged Stone) or Alya (who had gotten more than one interview with Ladybug).

And doesn’t it say something that one of Lila’s top supporters as well as perhaps the biggest source of information had just changed ships?

...JUST in time to be accused of something she claimed she hadn’t done?

...Which, now that he thought about it, sounded eerily similar to the previous incident where Marinette was accused of something she hadn’t done...

Something that Lila had also been involved in.

They frowned at one another as a concerning picture started to form.

“What was that saying?” He asked, his voice taking on a false calm. “Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. But three times...”

Alix’s eyes narrowed.

“Three times is enemy action.”

And Lila had gone far past three times by this point.

#ml fanfic #missing #missing au #alix kubdel #nathaniel kurtzberg #lila sucks

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