#(probably nodding to myself like 'yup my friend is good looking')

[dixons-sunshine]

“You're staring again.”

The voice of your closest friend snapped your attention back to reality. Michonne laughed as your wide eyes stared at her, embarrassment at being caught—for the hundredth time, but that was a discussion for another day—staring at the handsome, rugged archer. You wouldn't admit it to anyone but yourself, but watching the younger Dixon work on his bike was probably your favourite pastime. You could watch him and never get bored.

Michonne knew about that little fact, and she loved to annoy you about it whenever she could.

You scoffed and avoided her knowing gaze and teasing smirk. “I wasn't staring,” you mumbled out in a weak attempt to defend yourself, but to no avail. You had been caught.

Michonne chuckled and shook her head. “Yeah, so that drool on your face came from the fact that you were daydreaming about riding Daryl's bike and not Daryl himself, right?”

You almost choked on air at your friend's bluntness. “Michonne!” you hissed through your teeth. However, your “scolding” was met with more laughter.

“No, you're right, I'm sorry.” You breathed a sigh of relief. However, your relief was short-lived, because Michonne had something else to say. “You were daydreaming about riding Daryl on his bike, weren't you?”

“Michonne!” you exclaimed in embarrassment.

Michonne almost doubled over in laughter. “I'm sorry!” she managed through her laughing fit. “But it's true! Hell, you told me once you wondered if he'd be able to bench press you.”

You glared at her, but there was no real heat behind it. You could never really be mad at your friend. “Need I remind you that I said that while I had more than half a bottle of whiskey in my system? Almost a year ago?”

“Yup, and you still haven't made a move yet,” Michonne pointed out. “I think you should just kiss him and get the it out of your system.”

“Kiss who?”

The sound of Daryl's voice startled both you and Michonne. You turned to look at him, trying to shield your embarrassment from his perceptive gaze. “Daryl! Hi,” you squeaked out.

Daryl's eyes trailed over your face thoughtfully, clearly in an attempt to decipher why you were being so fidgety around him all of a sudden, but he made no comment on it. “Hey, Sunshine.” He sent Michonne a respectful nod in greeting. “Wha' were y'all talkin' 'bout?”

“Oh, nothing,” Michonne told him, sending you a mischievous smile. “Say, Daryl, you're a pretty strong guy, right?”

Daryl shrugged nonchalantly. “Wouldn't call myself weak, so I guess so, yeah.”

“Do you think you'd be able to bench press Y/N?”

Daryl's eyes widened at her question. He ducked his head in an attempt to hide the blush forming on his face. “I—I dun'—um—”

“Michonne!” you exclaimed in embarrassment. “Can you not?”

Michonne smirked and shrugged. “What? I thought you wanted to know.”

“Goodbye, Michonne!” For added emphasis, you lightly pushed her away, hoping she'd get the memo.

Michonne laughed and, thankfully, walked off. “Use protection, you crazy kids.”

When Michonne disappeared, you slowly turned back to Daryl. The archer was awkwardly fidgeting with his hands, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. “I'm so sorry about her,” you apologized quietly.

Daryl shrugged, his cerulean eyes flickering up to meet your own eyes. “S'alrigh',” he mumbled. Then, unexpectedly, even for him, he added, “I prolly could. Bench press ya, I mean. M'willin' to test tha' theory.”

Your breath hitched at his words. You cleared your throat and shrugged. “That's good to know.” In an attempt to change the conversation, you motioned towards his bike. “Almost fixed?”

Daryl nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Yeah. 'Bout 'nother hour or so and it'll be runnin' smoothly again.” Taking a deep breath, Daryl prepared himself for the question he was about to ask you. “I was thinkin' 'bout takin' it out for a test drive after this, jus' to be sure. Do ya, um... Do ya maybe wanna come with me? We can swing by tha' lake ya like so much.”

You smiled at him and nodded, your heart fluttering in your chest. “Yeah, okay. It's a date,” you told him, not even fully comprehending what you had just said.

Daryl didn't correct you. He definitely liked the sound of that. “I'll come get ya when s'ready?”

“Okay. I'll be ready.”

[user2772636]

Douzième Fille

12th girl

××《☆》××

××《☆》××

Callum returns, and Joseph is not so happy about it. A rainy night with forgotten gashes makes you think about a certain "friendship." Eavesdropping hurts a lot more than you thought.

===

Joseph Descamps x Reader

Warning: jealousy, love triangle, extreme fluff, angst (surprise!!!), miscommunication

===

===

Chapter five: You Know Where To Find Me, and I Know Where To Look

===

Pattering against cobblestone roads are heard when students walk to their respective schools. Chatter about oncoming rain fills the air, their umbrellas held steadily in their hands.

A familiar clear umbrella is wrapped around my fingers, subtly hitting the ground as I walk, legs a bit heavy from being tired.

Long strided footsteps behind me, I recognise his smell immediately.

"Good morning, Joseph." I don't even look behind me to greet him. He pops up on the left of my peripherals.

"Good morning, Y/N. Need some help?" His voice is deep, but cheery. It's comforting. I nod.

"I'm too tired this morning. I was up all night because I thought George went missing. The whole time, he was just hiding in my laundry basket." A small laugh erupts from him.

"I knew he was mischievous from the start."

"That's why you yelped when you first saw him?" I tease, recalling that afternoon.

"We're not talking about that." He half glares at me through his squinted eyes, then he smiles.

We stay quiet, somewhat awkward, somewhat comfortable. Once we're almost near the gate, he stops.

"Um, I think I'll see you later." He's looking towards the school, most probably his friends.

"Oh, okay." I say, a bit disappointed.

He looks at me with eyebrows furrowed in worry. He looks back at the school, then at me again. He sighs deeply.

He grabs my arm gently and pulls me off to a half hidden area. I look up, confused.

"What are you doing?" He's looking at me like he's about to do something. He doesn't.

"Meet me later in front of your place? I promise, we'll hang out by then." His breathing is quiet, but so obviously erratic against his chest. I place a hand on it, trying to calm him down. He relaxes, only a tad bit.

"Sure. Where are you taking me?" He relaxes even more, and a smile pops into his face.

"That's a secret. See you later." He kisses my cheek, and I'm stunned in my place, hearing his retreating footsteps fade away from distance.

Friendly kiss. Friendly goodbye. Yup.

I feel my legs waver under me, and I try to keep myself composed. What has he done to me? Done so little with so much damage. If you could even call it damage.

I thankfully make it through the gate without tripping on my feet. I meet with the girls and start the day.

××《☆》××

When the school bells finally ring, I make my way outside.

Joseph is leaning against the gate, fingers fidgeting with his lit up cigarette. He turns his head and sees me, getting one last hit before dropping it and crushing it with his foot.

He smiles wider than he usually does, or maybe I only noticed it now. I make my way over, but before I said hi, a familiar mint blue thunderbird pulls up in the parking lot.

Joseph turns his head to see what I was looking at, and his smile drops. He clenches his jaw. He always does that when Callum's around. I don't know why.

I slowly start to walk towards Joseph again, but he doesn't look back at me, keeping a steady eye on the boy exiting the car. I look at Callum, and I smile as a greeting.

Callum returns it with a wave, making his way over, cigarette between his lips. As he walks up the curve, he pinches the tip of his cigarette and flicks it off with his hand.

I get engulfed in a hug, lifting me up from the ground. I yelp as I feel myself spin in the air, and I get down with a laugh.

"You're rather happy today." I say, my hands on Callum's arms for support. He holds my elbows.

"Well, that's your effect." I flush at the compliment, giggling quietly. I turn around, catching Joseph rolling his eye. It's awkward now.

"Um, Callum. You know Joseph." I walk to Joseph's side, nudging him a bit.

"Well, yes. He was quite... charming." Callum's smile falters. He reaches out a hand.

"Good to see you again." Callum purses his lips, and Joseph clenches his jaw. Is there something wrong with his jaw?

"Same with you. How's life been?" Joseph raises his brows and clutches Callum's hand. Callum tigthens his grip, same does Joseph.

"Better with my girl around." Callum nods his head towards me with a smile. I blush behind Joseph. And I thought Joseph's grip was already tight on Callum's hand. He grips even tighter.

"Well, she's not exactly your girl, is she?"

"She's my model. 'Course she's my girl."

"Hm. Well then I don't appreciate when you call my girl yours." They're still grilling eachothers hand. I see their knuckles whiten.

"Well, she's not exactly your girl, is she?" Callum mocks Joseph's words. Joseph stays silent, letting go of Callum's hand to wrap around my shoulders.

I clear my throat, trying to ease the tension.

"So, Callum. What brings you here?" I fidget with my fingers.

"Well, I wanted to take you on a ride since you loved the last one." His eyes glance at Joseph's reaction then back on me.

"Oh, I completely forgot." Joseph turns his head to me, a confused look on his face.

"You're not gonna blow me off just because of this... guy, right?"

"Of course not. I'm taking you with me."

The boys go quiet, going on a silent staring contest. Both their eyes are dark. I feel myself shiver.

"Please?" I see both of them soften, looking towards me.

"Of course, Y/N. Anything for you."

"Sure, Y/N. Just for you."

They spoke at the same time. They turned their heads and went back to glaring at each other. I grab both their hands and lead them to the car.

"So Callum, where are we headed?" I ask, glancing at him but keeping a close stance near Joseph. I feel a hand hover on the small of my back.

"I was thinking we'd go to the fields. You said you wanted to come back there, right?" I nod ferociously. It was a really nice field. There was tall grass and a hill with a tree that overlooked the area.

"Joseph, you'll love it there, I swear." I look up to Joseph, and he's already looking at me with a small smile on his face. He simply nods, seemingly distracted. I turn back to Callum. He also seems distracted but still looking at me. I furrow my eyebrows at their behaviour.

"Let's go?" Callum gets out of some trance and opens the door for me. I get in the passenger seat, Callum in the driver's, leaving Joseph in the back.

Joseph sits right behind me, leaning over to reduce the distance between us. Callum starts to drive.

"I packed up some food, but it's only good for two so..." Callum looks up at the rear view mirror, looking at Joseph. "Sorry, Joseph."

"It's okay, I'll share mine with him." I smile at Callum, then turn around to be met with Joseph smiling at me. His face is really close. I didn't notice the specks of green in his eye till now. He smelled really nice, too, aside from the cigarette smell that flows through the car, obviously coming from both boys.

Teasingly, I bump my nose to his and giggle. He turns red and still. His eye glances down on my lips, and I find myself doing the same thing. He leans in, and the car bumps up. I fall back on my seat with a huff.

"What happened?" I asked Callum, worried he hit something. I put my hand over his on top of the clutch for stability.

"Just a bump on the road, is all. I didn't hit anything, promise." Callum looks at me, then back at the road. He laces his fingers with mine, and I flush in my seat, not knowing what to do.

I don't notice the way Joseph looked. Hurt, confused, jealous, and angry.

We come to a slow stop, and I immediately let go of Callum's hand to get out of the car and run to the hill on the field.

"Come on!" I shout out to the boys. I watch as they come up, Callum with a basket in hand, and Joseph smiling mischievously at the other boy, not helping him one bit.

Joseph gets to me and wraps an arm around my shoulders, planting multiple kisses on my hair. I laugh, trying to get rid of his arm even if I didn't really want to.

××《☆》××

We lie under a tree, me reading a book that Callum had lent to me (he brought it with him because he knew I'd like it), Joseph next to me, one arm propping him up, his hand keeping his head steady, and Callum with his head on my shoulder, reading the book, too.

I felt a finger brush my hip. I thought nothing of it. Until it started soothingly going up and down. I relax, almost dropping the book. I glance at Joseph, smiling a bit. He smiles back, leaning down to plant a kiss on my forehead.

Callum glares at the other boy, then suddenly kisses my shoulder and whispers in my ear. "I really am sorry."

I feel a finger jut against my waist, and I yelp. He starts to tickle me, and I laugh as I push him away, leaving me breathless. As I push him, he grabs my shoulder and brings me with him, making us roll down the hill. It was only a small hill, so it didn't take long for us to stop spinning.

I land on top of him, heaving for a breath with a smile on my face. Callum looks up at me with a smile, catching his breath, too. He leans in, but I get up quickly before anything happens. He does the same, somewhat hesitantly.

I see Joseph run down the hill and come straight towards me. He gently grabs my arms, checking for injuries. He spots some small gashes on my elbows, and his vision goes red.

"Are you fucking dumb? She's got gashes on her because of you now!" Joseph pushes Callum back with force, Callum stumbling a bit.

"She's fine. There's no need to be such a fucking wuss about it." Callum pushes Joseph back. I grab Joseph before he could do anything.

"It's fine, Joseph. Really. Just a bit of fun is all."

"But you're hurt." His voice cracks, and my heart stumbles.

"I'm fine. I promise." I cup his cheek, and he leans on it, holding my hand with his.

I caress his cheek, then let go hesitantly before going to Callum.

"Are you okay? Need some cleaning up?" Callum shakes his head.

"I'm alright, darling. I can take care of myself." I nod in response.

"I think I should get home. You two should, too. And for the love of god, please stop fighting." I furrow my brows at both of them, a bit disappointed.

As I walk away, I think to myself. They're my friends, and I at least wanted them to get along. But they aren't. And I don't know what to do, what to feel, how to react. I sigh. I'm way too tired for this.

××《☆》××

The sun was setting now, the dark already illuminating the other side of the sky. I look out the window, ignoring both of them. We stop at my flat, and I get out. Joseph does, too. I go around the car, leaning down to Callum's window.

"You'll be good driving?"

"I always am." There's a sly smirk on his face, but tired.

"Have a safe drive home anyway. I'll see you soon?"

"See you soon." There's a sort of sad smile on his face. I kiss his cheek, but he might've taken it for something else.

"Good night, Callum." I whisper gently, then back away, walking up to my flat. Callum drives off. I notice Joseph.

"Wanna come in?" He nods.

I let him in my flat, and as soon as I close the door, rain starts pattering against the windows.

"Good thing we got in before we got soaked." I reach my hand out for his coat. He takes it off slowly, walking towards me in a calculated pace. I gulp down a feeling.

His stare is tired, as well as his frame. He hovers over me as he hands me his coat, his head tilted a bit.

He leans in to put his forehead against mine, and I take a breath in, then slowly breathe out.

I place the coat to hang on my arm, my hand going up to caress his back. I feel the air from his nose hitting my lips.

His eye is shut, and I admire the way he looks. He seems to relax, to really show how drained he is from the day.

I begin to imagine if this is what it'll be like when we're grown. He could be coming back from work or going out with his friends, and I'd still welcome him back with open arms and a warm heart.

"I'm tired." His voice is low as he speaks, hand going up to caress my arms. His lashes lay on his under eye as his lid remained shut.

"Wanna go to bed?" He nods, and his nose bumps into mine.

I lean away, and he kisses my head. I take hold of his hand, leading him to my room. I guess he's got the place memorised already because even with his eye closed, he walked through the halls with no stumble in his step.

I let him sit, my fingers combing through his hair as I stood in front of his slouched frame. The rain patters softly.

"I'm gonna get you some clothes. Stay awake for a little while more, okay?" He nods, taking hold of my hand and kissing my palm.

My heart beats in my chest as I walk into my parents' room, going to borrow my father's sleep clothes. Joseph is a good friend. A great one. So why is he the first person that comes to mind when I think of my future? Or when I'm daydreaming, or when I'm thinking of what to do for the rest of the day?

He's just a friend. The thought disappoints me, and I don't know why.

I come back to the room with clothes in my hand, and Joseph is stirring away in his place, eager to stay up because I told him to. I place the clothes on his lap, telling him to use my bathroom. He gets up tiredly from his place on the bed, feet thudding against the floor, and then the door creaks as he shuts it.

I take this time to change, too. I open my closet and grab the most presentable sleep clothes I owned. It was a bit revealing, but the others were worse, so I opted for this one.

It was a nice set. Pink silk with lace and spaghetti straps. The top reached down to my hips, the shorts high on my thighs. There was a tiny bow on the front, and the neckline was low, but not too low. It wasn't tight, quite flowy, actually.

Just as I was putting the top on, Joseph came out of the bathroom. He's rubbing at his eye, and then he stops at the sight of me. He makes his way over, painfully slowly, might I add, and wraps his arm around my waist. He leads me to the bed, making me lie next to the wall, and him at the end of the bed.

He lifts the blanket on both of us. Then he pauses. Though he's tired and his eye is almost shut, I see a sense of worry in them.

"Something wrong?" I ask, yawning.

"I have to take my eyepatch off." He sighs deeply. I nod.

"I can do it for you."

"Yeah?" I hum in response.

"You won't think I'm..." He trails off, but I caught on the idea.

"No. Never." He scans my face, then nods slowly.

I lift my hands up, cupping his face. He exhales softly. My fingers brush the strap of the leather eyepatch, and I slowly slip it off. There were stitches visible, and tears filled my eyes, images of when it happened coming back to me. I keep myself composed and caress his face.

"Is it still sensitive?"

"Not really."

"Can I... do something?"

"Sure." There was no hesitation in his voice. "I trust you."

I lean in, kissing the scar gently. His breath shakes, and I worry to ask him if I had done something wrong when he kisses my palm, then my wrist, then my shoulder, kissing my collarbone as he tucks his head in the crook of my neck. I shiver at the affection but accept it silently.

His kisses go up to my chin, skipping my lips, kissing my nose, my forehead, propping his jaw on top of my head. I feel warm all over, comfortable.

"Good night, Joseph."

"Good night, Y/N."

The bedside lamp stays on, and the rain continues to tap against the window.

××《☆》××

Meows and purrs are heard when I wake. I hear shushing as well, but discard the thought, my tired mind assuming it was just George.

"You'll wake her." A man whispers. I continued to act asleep, suddenly confused and scared of who it could be. The room is cold, but the blankets warm me.

I feel a kiss on my forehead, the imprint of the lips making me realise who it was. Joseph had stayed the night, and I was too tired to remember. I slowly open my eyes, and I'm met with Joseph staring at me contently, hand holding up his head. His other hand is petting George, and his lips form a smile.

"You woke her." He whisper-shouts to George, acting angry. I chuckle a bit.

"Needed to anyway. How'd you sleep?"

"Very good. But my mother's probably worried where I am. I'll just tell her that I stayed in a wonderful fairy's cottage who cared for me and let me sleep in her dreamy home, with her dreamy cat and her dreamy face." I roll my eyes. He starts to fidget with the end of my blouse, rubbing the pink silk against his fingertips.

"Dreamy face?"

"What? It's true." I flush at the compliment. I get up slowly, and Joseph puts a pillow behind me. I lean back on it. He places George on the floor to wander off, and his hand lift my elbows up.

"Should've cleaned it last night. Sorry, I was too tired. Does it hurt?" He blows on it gently. I shake my head.

"It's alright." I lean down, having the urge to kiss his head. He laughs gently, letting me do so.

His eyepatch is on his face again, and I'm sort of disappointed, but don't speak up about it.

"What time is it?" I ask, whispering gently, cupping his head with my hands.

"Six, I think."

"Let's get up, yeah?" He nods, and before I could get my feet on the ground, he lifts me up and carries me on his shoulder, making me fold in half.

"Joseph!" I yelp, adrenaline suddenly rushing in me. I kick and punch at him, urging him to let me go. He doesn't listen, even grabbing a cigarette and smoking it, opening a window, then proceeds to carry me to the hall near the kitchen.

"Let me down." He finally does as he's told, and there's a smile on his face as I look up at him. I glare, grabbing the cigarette and butting it out on a nearby ashtray.

"Come on! What was that for?" He raises his hands in exclamation.

"Have something to eat first before you make my house smell more like you." I walk in the kitchen, then stop in my tracks. There's food already prepped, and I gape at the smell of freshly made pancakes.

Arms slip around my waist, and I grip at them for stability. There's a kiss on my hair, then a whisper.

"Eat well, love. Made it just for you." I blush at the nickname, heart thumping in my chest. Here, I thought we were just friends. We are, I remind myself. Are we?

I get rid of the thought, taking a seat in front of the plate of food. Joseph sits across from me, placing his arms on the table. I dig in, feeding him some slices and letting him take a sip of my drink. I finish up and thank him.

"Any time." He's smiling. I love when he smiles.

I get up from my place, going to my closet to pick out what to wear. Then, I pause.

"Do you have anything to wear?" He shakes his head. I nod after a while, leading him into my parents' bedroom.

"Are you sure your father's fine with me borrowing his clothes?" I shrug, throwing out a pair of socks.

"I'm sure he won't mind. He's barely here anyway." I turn around, a set of clothes in hand. I give it to him, then thought of something. I grab his hand, leading him back to my room.

"Here." I hand him a green cashmere sweater. "Green looks good on you."

"Yeah?" He tilts his head as he teases me. I flush.

"Whatever. Just put it on." I push him towards the bathroom.

I lay out a peach coloured dress, some white stockings, a pair of kitten heels, and some jewellery. I put them on, adding last touches to my hair. Joseph comes out of the bathroom, looking more mature than he was. It's honestly attractive.

"Don't you look nice." I laugh, placing my last earring on, walking towards him.

"Could say the same for you." He talks in a warm voice, deep enough to send shivers down my spine. I grab our coats and satchels, handing them out, petting George goodbye, and exiting the flat.

××《☆》××

The school crowds around the courtyard. I make my way out, paper in hand to show Joseph. In the halls, I see him, and he's talking with his friends. Then, like in the magazine booth, the closer I am, the more I hear. And again, there's a voice inside my head repeating Joseph's words.

"Yeah, she's quite clingy. You guys don't like it when a girl's clingy, right?" Dupin and the others nod, and I feel my heart clench in my chest.

"Plus, she's a model. You guys know what models do in their free time, if you know what I mean. It's nasty." My brain malfunctions, and I stay standing there, frozen.

They eventually break off, and Joseph turns, sees me, and his face drops. I look at him in the eye, then walk away.

I make it down the empty stairwell when he grabs my arm gently to stop me. I whip it away, wiping the tears off my face with my shivering hand.

"Y/N, please." He begs, repeatedly.

"Leave me alone. Don't you think I'm too clingy?" I sob out, sprinting a bit.

"Let me explain!" He shouts out, catching up to me. I stop.

"You don't have to explain a fucking thing, Joseph! I heard everything. You think I'm too clingy, right? Then I'll fucking go! I can't believe I trusted you. You're like every other boy." I push his chest, and he budges only slightly. "Is that why you didn't let me go with you through the gate yesterday?"

"I need to explain, Y/N, or else you'll think-"

"Think what? That you hate me? Because you do, and you know it. You fucking hate me, Joseph. And I fucking hate you, too. I hate you!" I push him again.

"Fine! You don't want to listen, fucking fine! Go back to that stupid Callum of yours, and live a happy life because he's so fucking inlove with you! And you obviously love him, too!"

"What?" I pause, suddenly confused where this came from.

"Don't act stupid, Y/N. I know you aren't. He so obviously inlove with you, and I don't know how the fuck you don't see it. The way he looks at you and touches you. Shit, it makes my blood boil, and I don't even have the right to!"

"Fine! I'll admit that I've noticed it, but I never said anything because I didn't want to-" I cut myself off, realising what I was about to say.

"Want to what? What's got your tongue now, Y/N? You didn't want to commit? Didn't want to do it in front of me? Well, you can do that now. I'm done watching him love you."

I scoff. "I can't believe you. You're making it seem like I'm the only one who did something wrong when you did, too!"

"That's because you won't let me explain!"

"Never fucking mind, then! Leave!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

As he walks away, I cry. I cry because I lost someone close. I cry because I lost Joseph. I cry because he's just Descamps again.

I cry because I love him, and now he's just the boy with ash hair.

××《☆》××

End- Chapter five: You Know Where To Find Me, and I Know Where To Look

Next- Chapter six: Mischief Managed

××《☆》××

Back to square one for the two. Sorry not sorry, I SWEAR its for the plot guys. This is lowkey short, its cus the ep was just abt our fav nurse (love her) anw new chapter soon!!!

[ktsumu]

RESOLUTIONS (this year is different) tw: alcohol consumption

This year, you wait for January in an apartment that is packed full.

You’re familiar with everyone, for the most part, all people who have played with Ushijima over the years, all people you’ve watched in one jersey or another. Everyone is laughing, happy — even Wakatoshi himself who, normally quite reserved, laughs with one of his teammates, a glass half-full in hand.

This year is different, you tell yourself. 

You know that, whenever you're all drunk enough to call it a night, you’ll call a cab and go home, probably kiss on the way there. He’ll lean on the bathroom counter and giggle while you smear your makeup away with a wipe, then take it from you and do it himself. He’ll be so much worse at it, but he’ll be gentle, and you’ll let him.

This year, you’re going to let yourself be loved. You’re excited to let him.

You watch Wakatoshi from your place on the couch, a small smile on your face. Happy looks good on him; he’s handsome when he’s free. His smile gives him lines around his mouth, his eyes crinkle. His laugh is saccharine. 

He doesn’t notice you’re watching, either, it’s not often he does. It’s not hard to be subtle — your eyes typically find him, anyway, golden boy wherever he goes.

This year, I’m going to let myself be loved.

You met him years ago, sort of in a situation like this. You were both in a bar in Tokyo, you think, and he stuck out like a sore thumb; freshly twenty and new to this, surrounded by teammates who made it obvious he’s never been to a bar before.

They also made it obvious he was new to a lot of things, likely why they made it so obvious in how they were jabbing his side with their elbows, nodding to you sat a few seats down. Go talk to her, she’s totally into you, she’s pretty!

(He didn’t even talk when he first sat down — you offered him a shot he probably needed and he took it.)

The rest is history.

It feels weird to think about going home. Home. You live with him, the bills get paid. He has smile lines and stretch marks on his shoulders. He’s going to take your makeup off for you because he’s seen you in every way you come. You have a house and you have a home — your friend said she thinks he might propose this year.

Growing pains are scarier when they’re not in your knees.

You only notice he’s moved when the couch sinks beside you. Wakatoshi sits next to you, a close-lipped smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, and he rests a hand on your thigh.

“Are you okay?” he asks, and it’s just the two of you.

You look over his face, his flushed cheeks. You smile, too. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Wakatoshi is gentle when he guides you towards him, his hand on your nape, kissing you like you’ve never done it before. He tastes like Tennessee, and like a resolution. 

This year, I’m going to kiss him more.

“I love you,” he murmurs. “I’m glad I’m here with you.”

Whatever dread you carried before, it’s going away now.

“You are?” you tease, pulling back to really look at him. An anonymous hand walks by and ruffles his hair, like he’s scoring his first girl, and carries on. He doesn’t look up. 

“Very.”

“Mm,” you hum, leaning your head on his shoulder. “I guess I’m glad I’m here with you, too.”

“I mean, I would hope so.”

“Hah,” you snort, “I’m excited to go home, too.”

He scoffs, as if he isn’t typically the reserved one; as if he wasn’t the one you had to convince to make a show here. “You want to get out so soon?”

“What, you’re not excited to deal with me at home?” you giggle, craning your head to look up at him. “Not excited to spend, like, a fat hour getting ready for bed?”

He snickers again, taking a sip of his drink. He squints like he drank it too quickly. 

“Like last year?”

“Yup. Except, I don’t know about the last part. I’m gonna pass out the second I hit the mattress, ‘Toshi.”

“That’s okay, I’ll tuck you in.”

Your chest warms, and you both laugh. One of you starts it, but you don’t remember who.

“You’re gonna tuck me in and take my makeup off, huh?”

“Like last year,” he confirms. “And get you water — get us both water,”

“Mm, you’ll need it, big guy.”

“I am fine.”

“Yeah, I know. As long as you can see where my face is, that’s good enough for me.”

“I can find it blind,” he says simply, smoothing your hair back and out of your face. “But yes, I can see it fine.”

You smile all crooked — he tilts his head like he wants to see it upright. 

“We’re gettin' older, huh ‘Toshi?”

“That is how years work, yes.”

“Going home,” you say; your thoughts are all out loud. “Going to bed.”

He smiles — he loves it. “Unless you want to stay out?”

“No, no, I want to. I’m just,” you take a deep breath, “thinking. This’ll be how many years?”

“Not enough,” he says simply. “I wanna do this forever.”

“Hah, well, I have no doubt your body could sustain years of New Years Eve parties—”

“I meant going home,” he interrupts. “Taking off your makeup, getting you water, and kissing you goodnight.”

Your heart swells to the point of being uncomfortable, the lump in your throat impossibly there. His hand hasn’t left your thigh, it hasn’t risen higher, it just sits there. His touch is warm like a swaddle, unmoving. It’s so familiar that you lean into it like you're being carried to bed.

Wakatoshi grins; it’s crooked and you tilt your head to see it upright. “Every year, I think I love you a little more.”

(The dread you had is gone now — why you ever had it, you don’t know for sure.)

This year is different, you tell yourself. This year, you’re gonna grow.

There’s a cheer throughout the room, all this laughter becoming a dull muffle when the room seems to reach the sound capacity the little space has. There’s kazoos, glass clinking, goofy hats falling to the floor — people are singing:

“Happy new year, love,” he murmurs, and he captures your lips again.

This year, I’m gonna grow.

I’m gonna let him love it, and maybe I’ll love it, too. 

[nikki-152006]

tokyo revengers characters getting naughty

(Ch- 20 of my fanfic if everyone was horny)

Ameliorate - [Tokyo Revengers Various X Reader]

Chapter 20- making up

Of course not writing the whole chapter again, just the parts that fit right under the title- Also, I can't guarantee all horniness to be limited to only be between MC and the other characters... [The parts with the reader are in the second half, before that it's just the boys because why not?]

+includes mentions of "Max, Bruce, Tony" who are the reader's first cousin brothers

.

"It's my fault." Smiley has his head turned to the ground, "I'm the reason she ran away."

Bruce turns to him with only red before his eyes, "You don't know how to fucking talk to her, you don't know how to fucking behave, and now you're making her run off like that too. What even is your problem?"

"You're right..." Smiley looks up at him with a spark in his eyes, "I don't know how to behave."

Bruce's expressions twitch, "You want me to fucking teach you?"

"Yes please."

"Alright, babyboy, down on your knees-"

Max turns to them with a horrified look, "Just what in the absolute holy fucking fuck?"

.

Mitsuya looks like he's at the ninth level of shock.

Tony mutters a whole series of "thank you"s to the boy and almost looses the hold over his tears when he pulls away, "I'd have lost myself if it wasn't for you."

"It's alright, I'm here." Mitsuya pats his head, "You're my friend's brother."

"Your friend's prettiest, hottest, sexiest, and I have to say, most potent brother." Tony corrects.

"Tony, he's still an year or two underage." Bruce points out.

Tony slides his thumb over his tongue, "A pity."

.

Kawata-san walks over to the door, he has decided to just peek and see whether Baji's done with Smiley or not. He opens the door the slightest bit to see Angry and Chifuyu staring at the ground with their mouths open.

Angry has his hands over his face, probably to cover his eyes but they're not serving that purpose. Chifuyu's face is bright red as he shamelessly stares.

Kawata-san's eyes roll over to the ground where Baji is hovering over Smiley. He has one hand over Smiley's waist and the other cupping his cheek. Smiley's both arms dangle over Baji's shoulders.

They're nearing each other.

Kawata-san closes the door, blinks a few times, then opens it again as if he'd see something else. The scene doesn't change. He repeats it a few times before he hears sounds he never wished to, and Baji's voice ringing across the area-

"Anyone wanna join?"

"Oh my God, yes." Chifuyu has jumped off the bike and is hurrying to them.

Kawata-san closes the door and leans against it, "Just what in the world... "

.

"So smile. Smile, Nahoya-kun, you're a good boy." 

He blinks.

"Yes mommy, if that's what you want."

"There's a lot more I want. You'd probably pass out giving it to me." you wink.

"Now now, let's not make assumptions, should we?" Smiley gets up and climbs onto your bed with one knee, "You're the sweeter, weaker one here, I might just end up ridding you of all pain in minutes."

You slide your hand over his cheek, then grab his shirt and pull him closer, "I don't doubt you at all."

The door opens, Baji steps in with his phone in his hands. He looks up, "Wow."

"Uh.. we're doing nothing." Smiley says.

"Yup, he totally said he has a pimple and I'm checking that." you nod.

Baji blinks, "Shut the hell up both of you," he takes his shirt of, "or I'll do that myself. I'm joining in."

.

"The dearest friend of my dearest brother, I, in the name of formality, thank thee for thy efforts of picking up a little girl, throwing her into a car, driving to a hospital and leaving her there. Thee shan't be ever forgotten, for thee is a savior." you take your tongue out at Max, "Thee, is my, savior."

"Aren't I? Pay me now." the voice over the phone says.

You blink.

"How? I don't have a lot of money."

"Oh, you don't need money to pay me, sweetheart. I'm your savior, just see my number off Maxie's phone and ring me up later~"

"Oh~" your eyebrows raise, "I definitely will."

"And if you wanna get straight into, it, I'm always open to nud-" but Max snatches the phone from you last second.

"The hell is even going on today?" he looks angry and puts the phone to his ear, "If you hit on my sister too, you're not getting any of me!"

.

"You're choking me, Baji-san."

"Of course I am," he makes the grip a little stronger, "you like it, don't you?"

"I do."

"You want me to keep it up, don't you, (Name)?" he's dangerously close to you as he pushes you against the wall.

"Yes daddy, I do."

"That's my girl." Baji whispers the words in your ear.

You unintentionally arch your back, there's pressure building up inside of you now. Your heart has lost it's mind, it's beating like crazy, sending blood in areas that make you lose it.

"My my," he stares at your chest, opening the top buttons of your shirt, "aren't you tempting me now, (Name)? You want me to take off your shirt?"

"You can always do more, Baji-san."

"Always?" he grins, lips inches apart from yours, "I'm gonna do more right now."

"Please do." you feel your hands hold his as he continues to keep a grip on your neck, "I really need you."

"Beg me." he caresses your cheek, "Go on, onto your knees, now."

A crashing sound makes them both jolt and turn to the side where Smiley stands with a cycle fallen on the ground beside him.

"What are you both doing out here on the streets?"

"Nothing at all." Baji turns to him, his hand slipping from your neck to your shoulder.

"Yup, I totally have an ache here, he's just giving me a massage." you lick your lips.

"Shut up, both of you, and Baji, keep that grip tight," he takes off his shirt, "or should I do that for you? I'm joining in."

.

Ameliorate - [Tokyo Revengers Various X Reader]

[bellsluvschrissturn]

The Face

Matt sturniolo x tutor reader

Warning: fem rec!v3 use of babe, baby mama ect, soft dom!Matt cumming in pants

Author note: idk how I feel about this one what's good sluts don't read if you are not into it, don’t bitch and complain if you don’t like shit like this grown the fuck up, anyways enjoy bitches I would say MDNI but you little shits won’t listen to me so fuck it. I'm dyslexic don’t come for me if sum not spelled right

7:15 am Y/n pov:

I'm walking to the office 10 minutes into class, I finally make it to the office and I sit in the tutor office with the lady Ms.Carnel the lady who assigns me the kid I need to tutor “ Hello Ms.Carnel is everything alright?” I ask “yes hun everything is just fine i just am assigning you a new student to tutor” “ oh okay who is it?’ I asked,KNOCK KNOCK “ Is this ms.Carnels office?” i hear a snobby voice say i swing my head around to see who it is i don't know him i think to myself “ Hello Mr.Matthew this is your tutor Ms.Y/N Y/L/N” “nice to meet you” i say to matt with a little wave he just nods his head with a snobby looking face “ ok well i'll let you guys talk i’ll leave you guys come up with a plan” “ ok wanna sit?” I ask “ nah i’m fine” “ okay if you're not gonna want this don’t get help” i snap “what?” he asks don’t act dumb matth- call me matt he says okay ‘Matt’ im not helping you sorry” “please please help me i need help if i don’t i’m not gonna graduate with my brothers please i’ll pay you” seeing as your living alone in an apartment you need the money “ fine but change your attitude and The face” “fine” he say “ ok seeing the help you need we will meet…. In the library for lunch on Tuesdays and fridays….. At one of our houses wednesdays and thursdays and i see you play lacrosse so practice is on mondays we won’t meet on mondays if you need any help when i'm not around here's my number ****-****-**** Whose house will we meet at?” “ mine on thursdays'' he says “ why on thursdays?” ? cause my my brothers have friends over every wednesdays and I won’t be able to concentrate” “ oh ok perfect” “see you tonight then seeing as its wednesday i'll text you the address”

2:02 pm Y/n pov:

I just got out of school and I have to get home shower clean and I don’t even know when he's coming over perfect, i just got home and i’m rushing the cleaning I swept and swiftered (it's like a mop) know i’m making cookies while i hop in the shower real quick because at this point i’m sweating I totally forgot about matt my music playing washing my body when the bell rings for like the 7th time probably “oh shit” i rush out the shower in my towel i open the door and run to the oven “ sorry sorry I totally forgot i got in the shower and sorry” i say still bent down trying to get the cookies out without burning myself not remembering i'm in a pretty short towel “ c- can you maybe n-not bend down in the towel?” “ what? Oh my god im sorry” no no its ok i didn't see anything just your upper thigh”

2:45 pm Matt’s pov:

That is a damn lie I saw everything I just didn't want to make her uncomfortable she is so pretty her tits almost popping out her pretty pretty pussy omg i”m bricked up asf

2:59 pm Y/n pov:

Fuck he saw everthing I know he saw everything he”s hard I can’t believe my dumb ass “ ok ready to start?” “ your gonna b-be in the towel?” he gulps “ oh no let me go change you can wait in my room” i go to my closet and put my thong and lacey bra on with a pair of short spiderman shorts and a black undershirt thats holds my tits well “ i’m back” you say sitting on the bed “ ok” he says looking at your tits

2 hours gone by

“ ok we're done for the day” “ ok so i can give you your payment?” he says with a smirk “ yup” you say as you stick your hand out expecting money instead he kisses your neck hu- uhhh you moan as he finds your sweet spot “omg” you moan he pushes you back on the bed as he kisses down your neck down your chest as you start taking off your shirt revealing your navy blue lace bra with a white trim border before he unclips it he looks up for permission “please” you beg “ its ok baby i'm gonna make you cum don't worry” he yanks your thong and shorts and starts to work his mouth ( lay your body down on that fucking couch open up your legs ima work ma mouth) holy- shit matt just like that omg omg matt-..... Omg omg im cumming matt omg "" let it out mama let it all out "" omg that was the best head i've ever gotten ""I think i just nutted in my pants” matt says “omg really?” “ ya your foot was putting pressure” “ sorry” “ no don’t be it was hot but let me clean you up he says walking away and you here the water running “i known we didnt fuck but your still filled with cum” “ i know its ok we can cuddle after” “ ok”

THE END

Hope you enjoyed bye

I'm not mean its just the way I talk ✌🏻

@slxtformatt @h3arts4harry @itsfloriii

[edencherries]

Of stitches and laughs

word count - 1.1k

frank castle x gn!reader

warnings: mentions of grief and guilt, pining, pet names (sweetheart), acquaintances to friends (to idiots in love), no use of y/n, proof read a couple of times but let me know if i missed something.

thank you for reading!!

The memory hurts, but does me no harm - Abstract (Psychopomp)

Frank never believed in the concept of souls. Mainly because he was not convinced a man like him could have one, maybe years ago, before that fateful day at Central Park, when he was a family man. Now, he was pretty sure it was all bullshit. It was like a switch flipped, he lived for one reason and one reason only; revenge. He had to make it right, he had to make sure the score was even and he would not rest until it was, plain and simple. A part of him wanted to listen to Curtis, to Karen, and just give it a rest. Simply say enough. But he could not bring himself to do it. Not when he could still see the image of Lisa, his babygirl, asking to be tucked into bed. Frank had nothing to his name, but he would give and do anything to go back and do what she had asked of him that night. 

See, it nagged him, that voice that reminded him of every moment he missed and every moment that never got to be. It whispered in his ear at night when his eyes were feeling heavy, when he felt the slightest bit of joy, when he walked through streets he once walked through with his family. No he could not rest until he was done, even though he knew he probably would never be. That grief and anger would always live nestled between his ribs, pushing against his lungs and not allowing him to breathe.

You understood, you always did. There were good and bad days. The days where he would smile big and his eyes crinkle, his laugh filling the room. Most of your days were like this, your love broke down the haphazardly built wall Frank had around his heart, slipped in through the cracks quietly every time you patched him up. He did not intend for it to happen, you were a friend of a friend, vouched for and deemed trustworthy enough to know he was not just Frank, to know what laid within. He had tried his hardest to keep you at arm's length, close enough to crack a joke or two but never allowing himself to give into the desperate desires of his heart. You, on the other hand, knew you had no other choice but to love him however he allowed you to. You knew what he had been through, so you sat there, patching him up and talking to him. 

“...I don’t have as many as you, obviously, but I have a couple of scars of my own”, the humor was evident in your voice. The corner of your mouth quirked up while your eyes alternated between his frown and the cut you were stitching in his bicep. His eyes look away from the window across your kitchen table and look at you, something akin to fondness in them.

“You don’t say?” His voice is deep and gravely and you don’t think you can or will ever get used to it. You nod your head with a pleased hum.

“Yup, got my first scar when I was six. I was getting on the school bus and tripped on the steps, planted face first in front of everyone. I was mortified so I decided to pretend it didn’t happen. When i got to my seat i noticed my pants had blood on my right leg, i cut myself on the shin when I fell and it left a little indented scar.” A small grunt in acknowledgement is the only response you get, you’re used to it. He is hanging on to your every word, whether you notice it or not, your hands are working dexterously on his arm and your voice is simply his new favorite sound.

“How does it feel?” He flexes his arm, the pain barely there by his standards, and nods giving you a thumbs up. You giggle and it goes through his heart like an arrow on fire.

“Can I see?” Your head tilts to the side, he clears his throat, suddenly embarrassed. “The scar on your leg, I mean.”

“Oh! Right, yes” lifting your leg on the chair you point out the small indent, barely visible unless you knew it was there, his eyes move slowly from your own down your form until they land on your old scar. He stares at it intently, a light chuckle leaves your mouth at the seriousness of his frown. “You know, if I didn’t know any better I’d think you’re staring at a gaping wound.” He scoffs.

“Yeah, laugh it up, smartass.” He straightens his spine as if pulled by a thread at the very top of his head, warm brown eyes piercing into your own. Your laugh only grows louder and brighter. Frank’s heart lurches as if trying to escape his chest and find its rightful home in your open palm and he cannot help his own bashful grin.

Frank’s mind is running at a thousand miles an hour, flooding him with memories of Maria, Lisa, Frankie, good and bad. His stare is fixed on you, his grin is growing into a smile. He can hear their laughs jumbled with yours, it does not sadden him, somehow. The memory of the past mingling with the present, becoming acquainted with each other, uniting by their shared love for him. The echoes of his rage, of his grief, remain but they can’t seem to hurt him, not now. 

Here, listening to your laugh, being on the receiving end of your loving stare, he feels safe. Maybe his friends are right, there is an after, a brighter tomorrow where there is space in his heart for those he has lost and those he has gained. He has been trapped within his pain, forced by his guilt into the herculean task of making it right, knowing there is no way to do so. 

Your voice breaks him from his trance, “Whaddya say, sweetheart?” he can feel his face warming at the realization that he has never called you that before, the endearment slipping from his tongue as if that had always been your name.

“Just checking if you’re still there, you looked like you went somewhere for a hot second” your brow was knitting in curiosity, Frank was almost overcome with the urge of kissing it, kissing you.

“Yeah, sweetheart, still here,” he took a sharp breath, “you won’t get rid of me that easy now.” Your teeth were digging into your lower lip, nodding along to his words. He can’t stop himself from looking , his eyes drawing down to your mouth like a magnet.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Castle.”

[depressedhouseplant]

🔞 Just Fucking Write - Day 29 🔞

Prompt: Hyunjae x Fem!Reader

Tags: Unprotected sex (do I have to say don’t do it? Because don’t), public sex, sex with a stranger (this is also not recommended)

A/N: I have no idea how thirsty Miraes are, but we’re about to find out!

“Excuse me,” I heard a voice behind me. I turned around to see a skinny guy about my age.

“Can I help you?” I asked.

“My friend thinks you’re cute, but he was too shy to come over and talk to you himself and I lost rock, paper, scissors, so I got to be the lucky one to come talk to you,” he replied, gesturing to a group of guys collected at the end of the bar. One of them was bright red so I guessed he was the one who was too shy. He was also hot. Very hot.

“You can tell your friend I don’t bite unless you want me to,” I said.

“Noted. I’m Changmin and my shockingly introverted extrovert friend is Hyunjae,” he held out his hand and I took it.

“Y/N,” I replied.

“I’ll go pass that along and force him over here,” Changmin said.

“Good luck,” I smiled as my drink arrived. My friends were all giving looks of confusion as Changmin walked away. I tried to gesture that I was waiting for something, but I don’t think it made any sense. I watched as Changmin returned to the group and it took three of them to shove Hyunjae in my direction. I picked up my drink and walked over to the group.

“I thought I’d save you the trouble,” I said.

“Hi,” Hyunjae waved awkwardly at me.

“Would you like to dance?” I asked.

“Oh, um…” he began.

“He’d love to,” another one of the group replied. “Feel free to leave your drink with the bartender though none of us are really the roofie your drink type.”

The song changed and the bartender nodded as she moved my drink where no one could reach it. I took his hand and led him to the dance floor. I could feel his palm sweating in mine. I didn’t think I was that intimidating.

“Why are you so nervous?” I had to put my lips right next to his ear so he could hear me over the music. Even then I was almost yelling.

“I don’t…go out much,” he replied.

“So I gathered,” I teased.

“And I don’t usually see pretty girls when I do agree to go out,” he continued.

“Oh?” I noised.

“I’m the token bisexual in a group full of gays and the kind of girls that go to gay bars aren’t really my type,” he said.

“Thus the not roofie my drink comment,” I mused.

“Yup,” Hyunjae said. He’d relaxed a little and put his hands on my waist. I had my arms around his shoulders so I could hold myself within hearing range. For once, I lost track of time on the dance floor. I could feel my phone buzzing in my back pocket from my friends texting me. They were probably trying to figure out where I’d gone or they’d decided to leave and go to another club.

“My friends are blowing up my phone. Let me see what they want,” I said after the third song.

“Should I wait?” he asked, looking almost disappointed.

“Come on,” I pulled him behind me off the dance floor and over to the only thing that qualified as a quiet corner.

“I’m sorry if I kept you too long,” he apologized.

“Hush. I’m not dressed like this because I didn’t want attention,” I assured him as I texted them back that I was fine and still sober. “Done. That should keep them quiet for a while.”

“Did you want to dance some more?” he asked.

“Tell me what you want. Don’t be shy. I promise I won’t be offended,” I leaned against the wall and looked at him.

“Promise?” he repeated.

“Nothing you could say will shock or offend me,” I told him. He stepped closer to me, the first time he’d shown any confidence all night.

“I want to fuck you right here in a dark corner of a club, then I want to take you home and make you come until you can’t anymore,” he breathed against my ear.

“You want to fuck me in public? Where anyone could see us?” I unbuttoned and unzipped my shorts. My panties were wet and not just from sweat.

“I’m gonna have to take you from behind. Only way I’m gonna reach your pussy,” he said as I put his hand down my panties so he could feel how wet I was.

“I guess you are,” I replied, turning around. He pulled my shorts and panties down enough to expose my ass. I swayed my back so he had a better angle.

“Can I come inside you?” he asked as he rubbed the tip of his cock against my entrance.

“Please do,” I replied.

“I live to serve,” he kissed the back of my hair as he entered me. I was already tight, but my legs basically being bound together made me tighter.

“Fuck,” he grunted. He wrapped one arm around my waist and braced the other one on the wall as he began fucking me.

“Go hard. I like it hard,” I told him.

“Whatever you want,” he replied, tightening his grip. His cock was rubbing all the right places. I wasn’t going to last long. “Tell me what to do.”

“You’re so fucking big and so fucking hard, I dunno if there’s time,” I replied honestly.

“That’s why I want to do this all night,” he said.

“I’m gonna come,” I said as I felt the heat pooling in my belly and my pussy start to twitch.

“Me too, but you first,” he panted in my ear. He growled as he fucked me as hard as he could and that pushed me over the edge. My pussy contracted around his cock then a few moments later I felt his hot come inside me.

“You wanna do this all night?” I asked as he pulled out.

“What? You can’t keep up?” he teased.

“I can keep up just fine,” I grinned as I turned around, pulling my ruined panties back on and trying to check for any stains on my shorts.

“Good,” he kissed me. “Tell your friends the outfit was a good choice.”

“Tell your friends that you got some pussy in spite of yourself,” I said between kisses.

“Touche,” he laughed.

[wisteria-cherry]

forty days and forty nights (day nineteen!)

(it’s funny how what was meant to be a stand-in title is actually the official title, lol.)

(i think i’m too far into the series to change the title now😭)

day five of bakugo being absent from the shop. normally, you’d use the term missing-in-action, but you’d banished the word from your vocabulary because the possibility of it was scarily real.

however, you’d promised mio that you wouldn’t let it distract you. you did indeed get through your shift nice and undistracted. after your shift, though, you found yourself turning right instead of left. you walked and walked before you found yourself in front of dynamight agency. how curious. you were already there, so you might as well go in, you figured. automatic doors made way for you as you entered.

the agency was huge. the lobby itself had remarkably high ceilings and it was all decorated in a modern style, displaying wealth in every way short of gold chandeliers. it’s not at all somewhere you’d imagine bakugo working. you kind of imagined more… destruction. maybe a burn hole in the carpet or a smashed vase.

everyone there, heroes and people in suits and other professional-looking types hurried around, all of them seeming to know exactly where they were going. you wished you felt the same. you looked around, trying to find someone to talk to, before locking eyes on two familiar faces.

“um, kaminari, right?” you walked up to the yellow-haired man, whose back was facing you and had an arm wrapped comfortably around a purple-haired girl’s— jiro, was it?— waist. kaminari turned around, and you instantly relaxed. finally, a familiar face.

“oh, hey, kacchan’s buddy!” kaminari grinned. jiro smiled politely and you smiled back. “have you met my girlfriend? you haven’t, right? this is kyoka, she’s awesome.”

“nice to meet you.” kyoka held out her hand, which you shook.

“likewise.” you replied.

“so, what brings you here?” kaminari asked curiously.

“i’m not sure,” you admitted. “i was kind of wondering if you knew where bakugo was.”

“a mission, or something.” kaminari shrugged. “i’m here to figure it out myself ‘cuz he hasn’t been here in awhile.”

“you visit often?” you ask curiously.

“yup. strictly business.” kaminari nodded solemnly. jiro snickered.

“business, as in, trying to convince him to play mini uno with you?”

“okay, that was one time-“

“or maybe business as in trying to bribe him into saving a cat you found stuck in a tree because you said it would ‘look funny’?”

“again, one time-“

“or business like coming to nap on his couch in his office because ‘his is the comfiest’?”

“…okay, so that was more than one time.”

“it’s never business.” kyoka told you with an used expression as kaminari now pouted. “but we are here pretty often. bakugo’s our friend. we’re a bit worried about him.”

“me too,” you admitted. “i know you went to high school with him, so i’m not exactly as close to him as i’m sure you are, but i do hope he’s okay, wherever he is.”

“so do i.” kyoka sighed.

“it’s so annoying!” kaminari groaned. “only ei and mina know what he’s doing and apparently they’re sworn to secrecy.”

“sworn to secrecy? why would they need to do that?” you inquire. kaminari shrugged.

“probably ‘cuz it’s kacchan. kacchan likes his privacy.” kaminari sighed dramatically. “well, all we know is that he went on a mission and now— poof!— gone.”

“well, let me know if you find out what happened.” you sigh. kaminari smiled and nodded.

“yeah! lemme add you to the bakusquad group chat.” kaminari pulled out his phone, opened it, and handed it to you. “put your number in!”

“okay.” you typed your number quickly and returned it to its owner. kaminari fiddled with it for a moment before smiling contently.

“all done!” he announced.

“i’ll be going, then. thank you, kaminari. and it was nice meeting you, kyoka.” you smiled. kyoka smiled back.

“good seein’ ya, (y/n).” kaminari beamed. “later!”

“later,” you replied before leaving the agency.

once you got outside, you inhaled a deep breath of the crisp october air.

“god, i hope he’s okay.”

“okay, that was one time—“

(don’t forget to comment + give ur thoughts :)

@k0z3me @cherryblossomclarity @jazzafaye5294 @stevenknightmarc @failingstudents-blog

[xomakara]

The Highlights of Romance

THoR Chap. Masterlist | Previous | Next

Chapter length - 2,060 words A/N - Ya'll thought I forgot about this, huh? I didn't lolol. I was in the process of writing this and then I had other WIPs going as well lol. I should have another chapter coming up soon.

I'm still wondering my series chapters are shorter lolol.

Chapter 006 - Teasing

"So Y/N..." Johnny muttered one day as you met up for breakfast with him, Renjun and Yangyang in the apartment's cafeteria. Mark declined on breakfast, saying that he was too busy with this new project that he was working on. "Mark?"

"Uh huh..." You nodded, looking down at your breakfast. "What about him?"

"Are you dating Mark?" Renjun asked curiously. "Have you-"

"We're just going on dates." You shook your head. "And no, we have not fucked yet."

"Why not?" Yangyang gasped. "You guys seem like a perfect match!"

"Uh…I don't know." You shrugged. "Maybe I'm afraid to lose myself in him."

"Do you really think you could fall in love with Mark?" Johnny asked cautiously.

"No, not at all." You scoffed. "Just taking things slow."

"Wait, wait…" Yangyang interrupted you. "Hold on. Slow? How do you define 'slow'? One date every week?"

"Well, actually..." You chuckled lightly. "Two dates per week."

"Come on Y/N!" Renjun sighed, waving his hand. "This is ridiculous. Two dates a week? Seriously?"

"Shut up Renjun." You rolled your eyes. "Anyway, it's only been a few weeks. I mean, that's nothing considering how long I've been single."

"And yet you're happy?" Yangyang raised an eyebrow.

"Yup. Happy as a clam." You replied.

Yangyang looked over at Renjun who was nodding his head in agreement.

"I see." Renjun said slowly. "Then I hope that this doesn't change between you and Mark. Ever since you decided on Mark, the three of us has decided its probably better to be friends and help cheer you and Mark on."

The other men clearly complained that you were playing favorites when you told them that you and Mark would be going on dates. Johnny had heaved a heavy sighed, running a hand through his hair before giving you a hug and saying that he wished you all the best since Mark definitely needed to get laid. Both Renjun and Yangyang, slightly disappointed that they were booted off the running list, was cheering you on. You had established a comradery with the three men, the three allying themselves to beat up Mark if he ever hurt you.

You doubt it would happen since Mark was the sweetest guy. But you were happy to have new friends like them.

"Thank you." You nodded gratefully. "We haven't known each other that long but you guys are great. I wish everyone were like you guys."

"Now enough about that." Johnny waved his hand. "How's your novel coming along? You getting any inspirations from your dates with Mark?"

"Err…yeah." You shook your head. "A lot actually."

"What kind of inspirations?" Yangyang asked curiously.

"Well…" You chewed on your lip nervously. "He makes me feel different."

"Different how?" Yangyang raised an eyebrow.

"Good different." You shrugged. "Everything feels different when I'm with him. Like everything else falls away and all I focus on is him."

"That sounds great." Johnny grinned widely. "Is he good in bed too?"

"Did you forget the part where I said we haven't fucked yet?" You rolled your eyes. Renjun and Yangyang burst out laughing while Johnny simply held up his hands in defense. "Mark’s playing hard to get."

"Look at the bright side, Y/N." Renjun chuckled. "Once you two fuck, everything is gonna become clear. Because right now you're lost."

"Thanks." You gave him a weak smile. "Now back to the subject at hand."

"Alrighty then." Yangyang smiled happily. "Well I suggest you continue writing. Write as much as you can whenever you can. Maybe Mark would give you more ideas on how to spice up your book."

"True." You nodded. "Thank you."

"Hey guys." Mark called out, startling you.

You jumped slightly, catching a glimpse of Mark holding two cups of coffee and a plate of waffles. He glanced at you with a sheepish grin.

"Sorry." He chuckled lightly. "Didn't mean to scare you. I actually had some time to get breakfast."

"No problem." You smiled warmly. "Hey, do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead." Mark took a seat next to you.

"Well…" You fidgeted with your fingers. "Since we’ve been going on these dates, my inspiration seems to be flowing in abundance. What do you think is causing it?"

"My charm." Mark shrugged casually.

You narrowed your eyes. "No way."

"Of course." Mark laughed. "I have plenty of charms that would bring forth ideas. You have been writing a lot lately. My charm has definitely played a part in that."

"I'm starting to notice." You nodded slowly.

"And then there's my voice." He continued. "The deep sexy tone that sends shivers down your spine."

"Okay." You mumbled.

"There's also my personality." He added. "The way I smile when I'm happy, the smirk on my lips when I'm in deep thought…"

"Just hurry up and fuck already, you two." Johnny chortled. "Your flirting is hurting my eyes."

"You jealous bro?" Mark teased. "Don't worry, your turn will come too."

"Hahaha." Johnny laughed. "Fuck you, Mark. Fuck you real hard."

"Ooh! Now that is the mark of true friendship." You chuckled.

"Oh, yeah." Mark suddenly clapped his hands together, causing everyone to look at him. "What are you doing tomorrow night? Writing or being a lazy fart?"

"Uhm…" You bit your lip. "Writing actually."

"Excellent!" Mark declared. "Come over to my place around eight o'clock. I'm sure I can come up with a few story ideas that will make your fingers bleed from writing so fast."

"Great." You nodded, raising an eyebrow. "So what kind of story ideas?"

"A sexy superhero tale of romance." He smiled wickedly. "You in a black leather catsuit with spiky armor?"

"You wish." You snorted. “Although that does sound pretty sexy…”

"Ha ha." He rolled his eyes playfully. "I'll be waiting for you then."

"Sounds great." You smiled.

"See ya then." Mark waved as he stood up, placing his cup of coffee and the plate of waffles on the table. "Bye Y/N."

"Bye Mark." You waved back.

“Y’all gonna fuck.” Johnny laughed from his seat once Mark was out of earshot. You nearly forgot he was there.

“Mmmhmmm.” Renjun agreed. “They’re going to fuck. Mark’s gonna fuck.”

“They won’t stay friends after this.” Yangyang predicted.

“Nope.” Johnny nodded his head. “Not after Mark fucks her. There’s nothing more for him than to stick his dick in her and send her back home so she can go back to writing porn.”

“Lord. Why am I friends with you guys?” You muttered, burying your face in your hands.

You groaned inwardly. For the past hour you sat in front of your laptop screen, trying to write but having absolutely zero luck whatsoever. The spark of inspiration was completely gone. The idea of having sex with Mark made your imagination run wild but once you tried to write down your thoughts into sentences, the words failed to flow. All you ended up with were meaningless nonsense. You kept re-reading your last paragraph, trying to see if there was anything wrong with it. But for the life of you, you couldn't understand why you couldn't write anything decent. This wasn't the first time you found yourself in this situation but it was becoming increasingly frustrating. Your excitement for writing seemed to disappear as you stared blankly at your screen. You didn't even know where to start anymore. So you closed your laptop and went to take a shower. Maybe you should try again later when you were feeling less distracted. Or maybe sleep. That always helped.

With that, you walked to the bedroom, stripping off your clothes as you headed to the bathroom. After you shut the door behind you, you started up the shower, letting the water flow over your body. Once you felt clean, you turned the water off, wrapping a towel around yourself before walking towards the closet. Your mind wandered aimlessly as you picked out your clothes for the day. Black pants and a red shirt that made you look a bit more feminine than usual. A white undershirt completed the outfit and a pair of flats finished off your ensemble.

Once you were dressed, you grabbed your phone and wallet, leaving your unit and making your way to Mark's unit across the hall.

You arrived a little earlier than you planned. Luckily, Mark hadn't locked the door yet so you easily slipped inside without difficulty. Your eyes swept across the room until they rested on the man sitting on the couch. You didn't need to see him close up to recognize him as Mark. It was written all over his handsome face.

You smiled softly, tiptoeing towards the couch.

He was engrossed in a game, completely oblivious to your presence. With a simple gesture, you placed your hands gently on either side of his face, bringing his gaze up to meet yours. Mark blinked rapidly, blushing furiously when he finally realized that you were standing inches away from him.

"Hi Mark." You whispered quietly.

"Hey Y/N." Mark grinned shyly, rubbing his neck awkwardly. "Thought you almost forgot our meet-up."

"Mmhmm." You nodded, biting your lower lip. You let out a laugh. "I almost did forget."

"What am I going to do with you?" Mark hummed as you sat next to him on the couch. "How's the writing sesh?"

"Horrible." You answered immediately. "None of the words want to come out. It's just I'm having trouble thinking straight right now."

"Maybe you should take a break." Mark suggested. "Take a breather, gather your thoughts and try again."

"Hmm…maybe." You tilted your head to the side. "Why don't you distract me instead? Just say something to get my attention. Something really sexy that'll make me lose my train of thought."

Mark bit his bottom lip, contemplating whether or not he could pull it off. The problem was that he didn't want to disappoint you. You were older than him by four years and way more experienced when it came to sex. You practically knew all the tricks.

It took a moment for Mark to summon up the courage to speak up.

"I don't think-"

"Say it." You cut him off, cutting his sentence short. "Or else I might find myself using my evil plan B."

"B, what?" Mark stammered.

"B. Bedroom." You leaned forward, pressing your chest against his.

"I thought we agreed on no sex." Mark frowned. "Just dates."

"Then hurry up and say it. Now." You insisted. "I need you to distract me."

Mark sighed, giving in. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Instead, he simply pressed his lips firmly against yours, drawing a sharp gasp from your lungs. His lips tasted faintly of coffee and it made you wonder what he was drinking. Then again, it could be just a natural taste that existed due to proximity. You ran your fingers through his hair, enjoying the feel of its silky strands brushing against your skin. Mark slowly parted his lips, allowing you to deepen the kiss further. He moaned lightly as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You melted against him, opening your legs to allow him better access.

"Damn it." Mark grunted. "This is way harder than I expected."

"Are you done?" You asked teasingly. "Because if you keep kissing me like that I'm going to have great stories to tell the guys. Trust me. They'll love it."

"God damn it." Mark cursed, pressing his forehead against yours. "Wasn't this distracting enough?"

"Yes." You laughed, leaning your head against his shoulder. "If you promise to kiss me like that again, then I'll refrain from banging you right here and now."

"Deal." Mark smiled cheekily. "But only if you promise to write one of those sexy superhero stories about us."

"Deal." You chuckled.

"Now come on, get off me." Mark laughed, trying to push you off his lap.

You allowed yourself to be pushed off and got up from the couch, giggling as you placed your hands on his cheeks, bringing them up to press a kiss on his lips. "I'm still going to tell the guys that you kissed me. And it'll be a hell of a story."

"Alright." Mark chuckled. "Let's just hope that you can write something worth reading. No cheating, okay?"

"No cheating." You giggled. "Promise."

THoR Chap. Masterlist | Previous | Next

[final-girl96]

Killer Geek Chapter Two

October 31, 1995

The next day at school I stood at my locker, Casey was standing beside me, leaning on the lockers. “Are you going to Stu's party tonight?” I closed my locker and looked over at her. “Still debating that. Stu told Parker I would be there,” I told her. “Parker Miller?” I nodded my head and she pushed off the lockers to look at me better. “Well you have to go then! He's the hottest guy in school!” she said, looking at me with wide eyes. “He's the biggest douchebag in this school. I am not giving him one second of my time.”

8:00pm

Music and voices floated out of the open front door when I pulled up to the party with Casey. I didn't plan to stay long, that's why I drove my car instead of having her pick me up. I also had a book with me, hoping I could just sit on the couch and read. I was halfway through Stephen King's “IT. I'm too big on clowns; they kind of freak me out, but the book isn't too bad and I don't have to actually see the clown itself. The movie wasn't too bad, but I will definitely never watch it again. I know it's weird to read at a party, but it's a good way to ignore stupid conversations…sometimes.

We walked into the kitchen where I saw Billy with his arm around Sidney, and Stu telling some ridiculous story to a group of people. He looked up and a smile stretched across his whole face. “Yn, you came! And you brought your hot friend,” he said, winking at Casey. I rolled my eyes and walked over to the fridge to grab a beer. “Right, well, you guys have fun doing whatever it was you were doing. I'm going to the living room,” I said. “Did you bring that stupid book you were reading at home with you?” Billy asked, rolling his eyes. Stu looked over at him then back over at me. “You brought a book to a party?!”

I shrugged and was about to throw a comment at him when someone's arm wrapped around my shoulder. Chills ran up my spine and not the good kind of chills. I looked beside, my head tilted back a little so I could see the person's face. “Hey there, sweetheart. Glad to see Macher wasn't lying when he said you'd be here,” Parker said. He had a smile on his face as he looked me up and down, his eyes landing on my cleavage. I shrugged his arm off me and stepped away until I was closer to Sidney and my brother. “Unfortunately,” I mumbled.

“What was that I heard? You brought a book to a party?” he asked, laughing. “Yup, I sure did,” I said, holding up the thick book. “It's better than socializing with people. So if you'll all excuse me I'm going to find somewhere that's not here.” I tried to move past everyone but Stu stopped me and took my book, holding it high above his head. “No way! I'll put this somewhere safe and out of your reach. Enjoy the party. Live a little!” He held it above his head while he walked away. Parker came over, wrapped his arm around my shoulder and smirked.

“What do you say, gorgeous? Wanna dance or we could go somewhere more…” he leaned down so his lips were close to my ear. “Private.” I had to keep myself from gagging and throwing up. “Hold that thought. I need to use the bathroom.” I gave a fake smile and disappeared into the crowd of people. I weaved my way through the bodies and into the bathroom. After locking the door I turned to the sink and looked in the mirror. I didn't really want to dress up so I just put together the typical outfit a final girl would wear in an eighties horror movie. I used fake blood and splattered it onto an old shirt and jeans, and made a couple tears in the shirt. I also had blood on my hands, face, and neck.

I really don't want to go back out there. I knew the second I opened that door Parker would be looking for me and eventually he would find me. I looked down at the beer in my hand and dumped it down the drain. I could kill Stu telling him I would be here and I hate Casey for dragging me here with her. It's like they planned this. Hell, they probably did plan this. I took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door. I heard my name being called over the loud music and chattering of teenagers. I turned my head and saw Parker holding up two beers and he tried to push his way through the crowd. Luckily he was far enough away and there were enough people that I was able to slip away and pretend I didn't hear him.

I made my way towards the living room looking for someone I knew that I wouldn't mind talking to and wouldn't annoy me. I gasped when someone slammed into me and I fell backwards. Luckily I was near the arm of the couch. I stumbled and fell over the armrest and onto someone's lap. “What the fuck!” I yelled. “Shit, yn, are you alright?” I looked up at the person I fell on and sighed. “Yeah. I'm sorry, Randy.” There wasn't much room for me to be able to get up but I started to try when I saw Parker coming into the living room. “Do me a favor and play along.” Randy looked confused and opened his mouth to say something but stopped when I squirmed around and got more comfortable on his lap.

My stomach was in knots with nervousness and embarrassment. I liked Randy; like I really like Randy. His hand gripped my thigh while the other rested on my lower back then moved to wrap around my waist when I got comfortable. My arms went to wrap around his shoulders and I leaned into him. “Can I ask what this is about?” He asked. “Parker is on his way over here.” I felt his hand squeeze my thigh before he slid it up to my hip. I shiver ran down my spine and flutters erupted in my stomach. “Why exactly is Parker Miller looking for you?” He asked. I rolled my eyes, “Because he has a thing for me and Stu told him I would be here and Casey dragged me here with her. It's like they planned it.” Randy situated me on his lap, resting his left arm over my thighs. “Why would anyone do that? Parker is a…”

“I'm what, Meeks?” We looked up to see Parker standing beside us, with two drinks in his hands. “I was calling your name, babe. Didn't you hear me?” It took everything in me to not vomit at that. “You can get your hands off my girl now, Meeks.” My eyebrows shut up to my hairline, and I started quietly laughing. “I am not your girl, Parker.” He raised his eyebrows at me, clenching his jaw but only for a second, then he started to smirk. “Not yet.”

[armpirate]

UNDER YOUR SKIN || JJK || Ch. 14

Pairings: tattoist!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, friends to lovers, tattoo au, virgin reader.

Summary: You were awful on anything related to flirting, guys and sex. He was the perfect ladies man. You wanted to get rid of your virginity. And he was there to help you with everything you needed. You didn't have the best start, but that didn't mean you wouldn't have the best of the endings.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

This deal with Jungkook is like going back in the past, back to when I was in high school and every single day I had a new project scheduled for the next day. Oh yup, just like that. And he's like the typical teacher that looks cool with good vibes, but as soon as you're in his class, he starts being a pain in the ass you'd want to get rid of.

When the whole deal thing started I expected something else on his side. What exactly? I don't know. But definitely not this.

While still doing the "observing" task -which, by the way, I might've found my new profession and I'm thinking of trying luck by applying for a vacancy in National Geographic-, he also has asked me to try and deepen in my memory and remember how I socialized back in high school and college. According to him, it could help to understand why I react the way I do around males I think I'm into. But honestly, it only helped me to realize I barely lived my teenage years the way I should have. Always too focused on something else.

He lifts his gaze from the paper for only one second, right after I've complained about how that will be of no help. But he insists.

I roll my eyes, and lift one of my fingers so I can start counting.

—I had strict parents —I start—. I rarely was allowed to leave the house, and sneaking away was impossible. It was a fucking bunker —I excuse myself—. I remember at some point they even installed a locator app on my phone when I got the first one at fourteen. And, trust me, dealing with the consequences of deactivating it was way worse than doing what I was told.

—Shit.

He looks at me with wide eyes, surprised by that comment. And I can see by the look on his face how he's trying to understand why my parents would do something like that. Well, I guess it's all about control. It doesn't really surprise me.

—What about in school?

That's difficult to answer, because I don't really remember much. I only remember the thing with my parents because they kept doing that until I moved out to study.

—Hmm —I sit on the tattoo chair—. In school I was too focused on my studies —I shrug—. I had pretty good grades I had to maintain.

—Good grades and you ended up doing Fine Arts?

—You also did Fine Arts.

—How do you know? —he frowns at my reply, but quickly relaxes his face— Never mind. Soo —he finds the answer himself—. What I meant is: I was a donkey in high school, but you were good at it. People that are good at studying usually go for... other type of degrees.

—Well, having the ability isn't the same as liking neither of those degrees or careers.

And that's true. I remember how hard I had to fight my parents for them to accept my decision, and they still ended up being convinced any other degree would be a better choice. The mere thought of spending four years of my life studying something I didn't like demotivated me.

Thinking about it now though... Look where I am: nowhere, working as a barmaid and dealing with dudes that are too drunk to frame a sentence that makes sense.

—You moved to New York for college, right? —he arches his eyebrows.

I'm almost going to ask how he knows about that, but just like him, I remember his sister probably kept him updated on all the information she got from me the first day we met.

I nod, and he goes back to his drawing.

—You didn't use your freedom in college?

I let out a shaky laugh, playing with my fingers before I get up from the chair and start walking around again.

—Let's say I didn't really have the chance.

—You made no friends in college? —when I look at him, he looks genuinely concerned.

—My grandma paid for my studies, so I started working to pay her back. When people were doing extracurriculars or going to parties, I was heading to a call center to do the night shifts nobody wanted to do.

—And in class? —he insists.

—I didn't really feel like talking to anyone —I sit back on the tattoo chair.

More like, I felt like I'd be disturbing people if I tried to join their groups. The fact that I started the first year two weeks later than them didn't play in my favor. I only talked to some people because of group projects we were forced to do, but even then, our talks were limited to that.

Ever since I moved to New York, the only one I spent quality time with -and I considered a friend- was my grandma. But two years ago she died, and it's like I'm back to the start.

Which keeps making this whole situation weird. I've never really had someone to open up with, and here I am, talking with Jungkook as if three weeks ago we weren't on each other's throats at the minimum chance.

—Guys didn't try to make moves on you either? —I shake my head— You probably scared them away with that bitch resting face —I throw a death glare at him, which makes Jungkook point at me to yell:— Yes! That one.

—You're an asshole.

—Thank you —he finally gets up from his chair.

I see him moving around the room, passing by a wheeled tray filled with different colors of ink in tiny bottles. He stops in front of a shelf, and takes a folder where he keeps that same drawing. And when he opens it, I can catch a glimpse of several other drawings with the same style.

—I thought tattoo artists used tablets for that.

—I rather work on paper —he puts the folder back where it was.

He then sits back on the chair he was sitting on, and rolls its four wheels so he's just a few centimeters away from me.

—So? —I lift my eyebrows— What was all that interrogatory for?

Apart from reminding me how little I've lived.

—I don't know —he shrugs—. I was curious. Maybe it could be of use in the future.

—And why did we meet here? We could've met up at my place.

—We've met at your place the other times —he moves closer.

—Then yours.

He puckers his lips and frowns in a quick second, clearly uncomfortable by the idea. And I partially get it, we don't know each other that well yet. But he still has been at my place more times than anyone I've known.

—What? —I laugh— You have dead bodies in your freezer?

—No —he leans closer—. I don't feel comfortable bringing people over.

He doesn't let me insist, Jungkook traps my lips between his and moves them slowly. Before the hand on my thigh is able to move forward, I break the kiss.

—And I don't feel comfortable with whatever you're planning to do here —I murmur, with my eyes still closed—. Don't make me kick your motorbike again.

—Gotcha —he smiles against my lips—. But I want to keep kissing you.

And I'm unable to resist that. Whether it's his warm breath, his soft voice or his intoxicating scent -or a mix of the three-, my hands move to his neck to pull him back on a kiss. His long locks tickle on the reverse of my digits when I pull him closer. The kiss is soft and slow, and I can't help but think we're both just refraining ourselves from going deeper into it.

—Do you have plans for tonight?

—I'm meeting up with the girls —I try to keep my focus when his thumb starts circling my knee over my jeans.

—Girls' night? —I nod— That's nice.

—Yeah... —I move my gaze away, lowering it to my lap— It's a bit weird for me still. You know, having a group of friends to hang out with. But I like it. It's nice —when I look up to him, he's back at giving me a soft look—. What?

—Nothing —he simply shrugs, and moves the chair away to stand up—. Have fun tonight —he tells me—, and maybe try to meet someone. Or, at least, don't use that insecure control freak personality if a guy reaches out to you. Fake it 'till you make it.

—I'll do my best —I get up from the chair.

I've been here for almost an hour, but just now I happen to realize Jungkook is here by himself, and Mark is nowhere to be seen. When I ask, he just says there was no point for the two of them to be there if customers didn't start coming until four in the afternoon. And it makes sense.

Huh, that's why he was getting so comfortable just a few minutes ago.

[stewardofningishzida]

Chapter 2: Discovery

We’re continuing the fic! Hold on tight! Also, guest appearance by Trickstress!

Rating: T for language.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2:  Discovery

*I give Stephen a tour of the house and he looks around each room.*  

Me:  My parents are on vacation for a month.  So, we don’t have to worry much about them walking in on us.  Now to tie up other potential loose ends…

*I pull out my phone.*

Me (texting):  Hey, Trix.  I know we were going to have lunch together today, but something came up.  I’m sorry, but I have to cancel.

Stephen:  Sounds legit.

*I nod and go about business until my phone pings.  I look.*

Trix (text):  You okay? I’m fine with cancelling but you don’t cancel so close to going.

Me (to Stephen):  I’ll play it off.  Don’t worry.  

*I reply to the text.*

Me:  Yeah.  Sorry it was so sudden.

Trix (text):  Np, just let me know if you need anything! I’ll check on you later!

Me (to myself):  Crud…

Me (text):  Thanks!  I’m good, though.  Don’t come over.  I think I might have caught something.  That’s all.

Me (to Stephen):  Let’s see if that works.

*Trix sends the big eyes emoji.*

Me (text):  Don’t worry about it.  I got meds and such.

Trix (text):  Okaaaay! Feel better soon!

Me (text):  Thanks!  Sorry again!

Stephen:  Think she bought it? 

Me: Hope so.

*Trix, out of concern for her friend and neighbor, decides to bring over some soup.  I hear the doorbell and curse quietly under my breath.*  

Me (quietly):  Crap, crap, crap.  I gotta look sick…Stephen, hide.  

*He heads to the guest room and shuts the door.  I put on a robe to look more convincing and answer the front door, trying to look tired.  At least I’m sweating badly.  So, that counts, right?*

Me:  Ehh…Hi, Trix…

Trix (lighthearted):  I’m respecting your privacy by waiting but asserting my authority as your friend when you’re sick and coming over anyway!

Me:  Thanks for checking on me.  Been feeling off all day.  Probably food poisoning.  Anyway, you doing okay?  *I’m trying to play it cool.*

Trix:  I’m fine, don’t worry about me! I’m here to worry about you! Go lay down on the couch, I got things handled here for you!

Me:  It’s okay.  Honest!  *Something falls over in the guest room.  Apparently, Cloak is curious.  I’m trying to stay calm.  Though I’m screaming internally.  Trix looks at the guest room door and then back at me suspiciously.*

Trix (slightly hurt):  Is this a new significant other thing? Cause if you said so I wouldn’t have minded.

Me:  It’s just the dumb dvd stack in there.  It doesn’t fit right.  Anyway, no significant others here.  It’s…my uncle.  He decided to drop in for a visit.  It was kinda sudden.  *I’m silently praying that the lie works.*

Trix (giving me a weird look):  ………So, are you sick or are you just trying to hide your uncle?

Me (uneasy):  …Both?  

*I feel terrible about this, but I’m starting to realize that the jig is up.  I sigh.*  

Me:  Okay…Come in.  *I whisper*  Just don’t tell anyone about anything here.  Promise?

*Trix raises her hand*  

Trix:  Scout’s honor!

Me:  Okay.  Don’t freak out.  *I let her in.*  Maybe sit down.  It’s…a lot.

*Stephen walks out resignedly and looks at Trix.  She stares at Stephen, then me, then she wheezes.*

Trix (flustered):  Yup.  Understand now. Absofuckinglutely.  That’s a damn good cosplay!

Me:  Yeah…Actually, it’s really him.  I know I sound insane, but he literally fell through a portal into my bedroom earlier.

*Trix looks at me funny and then looks at Stephen again, noticing something missing.*Trix (asking Stephen):  

Is the Cloak of Levitation with you?

Stephen:  Yes…Levi’s been checking the place out.  CLOAK!  

*It flies into the living room from the guest room, landing on his shoulders.  Trix squeaks, both startled and amazed.  She’s fangirling.*

Trix:  I would like to state for public record that I am absolutely delighted and I can die happy now.

Me:  He’s stuck here and I’m trying to keep him secret so he can get back home.  If anyone important saw him…Well, we know how that could go.

Trix (ecstatic):  So what you’re saying is we should get the group together and brainstorm because if the others found out he was here and they weren’t called you would be murdered.*I’m fidgeting nervously.*

Me:  Crap…We have to keep this quiet.

Stephen (confused):  Wait…I have a fan club here?

Trix (grinning):  Oh boy…. Well, I’m not saying we announce he’s here but- *She gestures at Stephen.*  Come on!

Stephen:  Is anyone possibly going to leak this to the authorities?

Trix:  They like you too much to do so.

*Stephen stares at Trix, processing this.*

Me:  Okay, but we do have to be quiet.  The only thing going for us is I doubt anyone important would believe an actual sorcerer showed up in some random suburb.

Trix (amused):  Cosplay saves the day again is what I’m hearing.

Stephen:  Wait…People dress as me too?  *He has many mixed emotions about this.*

Me:  Oh boy, are you in for a shock, Stephen. Trix:  

There are many things that you do not want to be aware of.  Tread lightly.

*He looks as if he doesn’t know whether he should be flattered or horrified.*

Trix:  Question so we don’t fuck things up: what has happened recently for you?

Stephen:  I was in a fight against Shuma-Gorath and he hit me with an appendage, knocking me through an interdimensional portal.  One of his other tentacles must have gotten my Sling Ring.  Now, I’m trapped here.  So, I need Wong to find me and get me back home.

Trix:  Oh no. Ohhhhhh no.  First off: I will actually cry if I get to meet Wong because he is amazing. Secondly: we have a lot to go over about things that have already happened. Because we are gonna fix a travesty in your universe dammit.  It’s not related to the current situation but I am too invested in this and I can’t help with magic things.  We don’t have to focus on it now, but before you leave we are having words.

Stephen:  Words?  *He’s a bit overwhelmed right now, but trying to take it in stride.*

Me:  We also have to do some research and figure out if there’s a way for him to get Wong’s attention.

Trix:  True. But we also don’t wanna get other attention either. Oh shit- certainly not anything from ‘What If’.

Stephen:  Another universe, I assume?

Me:  Yep…You do NOT want to get involved there.

Trix:  We know the stories of least 7 different ones and a multiversal entity.

Me:  The ‘What If’ version of you went rogue and started absorbing demons and another version of yourself.  It was like some sort of mystical self-cannibalization to boost that Stephen’s powers.

Trix:  Yeah, he ended up destroying his universe and was stuck in a husk of its shell. Probably the most powerful Stephen Strange and he’s learned his lesson but still. There is a universe with zombies in it and I will just end myself if they get involved.

Stephen:  …Okay…Note to self — Watch out for other Stephens.  Got it…

Me:  So, we need to alert the correct Wong to get you out of this mess.

Trix:  Yeah, you’re the reasonable Stephen. Just don’t think you are the one to make the final call on everything and you’re golden.  

Stephen (unsettled):  I’M the reasonable one, huh?  That’s not reassuring. 

*Trix thinks.*  Trix:  Since Stephen channels magic through the universe, Wong would be most familiar with his so it would be like- a certain flavor versus other ones, I’m guessing.

Stephen:  Yeah, Trix has a point.  Every sorcerer has their own unique signature, so to speak.  Though without my Sling Ring, I’m not sure how to show myself through the multiverse.

Me:  Well, if we’re going to confer with our group, one of us should contact Laer.  She’s excellent at research.

Trix:  Absolutely. I’m mostly just good at writing comedy.” *Trix looks towards Stephen.*  Sorry, but I wouldn’t have thought you were anything but fictional. Now we shall move on and contact Laer. We just have to be convincing!

Stephen:  I’m not just going to become some sort of show pony for a group of fangirls, right?

Trix:  Slightly but that just means that you have a team who is primed to help you because we have a good idea of how you and your magic works.

*He looks exasperated, but reluctantly agrees.*

Me:  We’ve seen how dangerous it can get if someone from another universe stays outside of their home for too long.  The responsible thing would be to send you back.  As much as we’d love to have you, you have far more important things to do in your own universe.

Stephen (looking at us both funny):  Okay…Trix, you scare me a bit, but at least you both seem willing to help me.

Me:  Okay.  Trix, mind contacting Laer?  I know of a few others who might help us out too.

Trix:  I scare a lot of people a bit but I make up for that in being able to roll with the punches! Also, I don’t mean to scare you with the words I mentioned before, but I AM invested in helping save a kid’s life and you can help with that and we can’t! *She turns to Steward*  Gotcha! I will send the warning flare! But first-*She pulls out her phone and puts it on camera mode.* Hey Stephen, can I get a quick video of you and the Cloak waving so I’m not considered crazier than I already am? I need proof as a lure.

Stephen:  …Okay.  I can understand why.  Just keep it in the group.  This doesn’t go into the outside world.

Trix:  Oh absolutely. I’m not a savage.  *Trix starts taking the video and narrates a bit.*  Hey Laer, we have a bit of a situation and need your assistance!

*Stephen waves and Cloak floats off of his shoulders to copy him, showing that it’s not just a puppet or special effect.*

Me:  Okay.  Awesome.  I’ll start contacting the others too.  That way, Stephen has multiple places to stay if things get messy and we have multiple people working on research to figure something out.

**To be continued**

[lakes-writting-rambles]

#0 mlb x sdr2 crossover

words: 758

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( Hajime pov )

'Finally, after months of begging, I transferred to Chiaki's school... now that i think about it... do i even know anyone else there-? I guess it doesn't really matter, Chiaki likes them so they're probably not that bad'

I keep walking, class is almost starting and I DO NOT want to be late. As I arrive at the stairs I see someone walking down. They were wearing black pants, a white t-shirt and a weird green jacket. Starting to climb up I position myself parallel to him, I don't want to run into anyone on my first day. 

That somehow doesn't work because he comes crashing into me a few seconds later.

"What the hell-!" I said as I noticed we rolled all the way down the stairs.

"Just my luck...." I hear him whisper "I'm so sorry, scum like me shouldn't have gotten in your way" he sits up. 

"Urg, it's fine. Just how did you fall on top of me, these stairs aren't that narrow." 

"Ah, yes, sorry. I tripped, I have no idea how I dragged you with me, but that's my typical luck." He gives me a little smile, it's weirdly calming. Still, I probably shouldn't get too involved with him, and we're probably not even in the same class. 

"Oh..." - 'I should get up, why is he still on top of me-?'  - "Hey can you... you know" I say using my head to point at our situation. 

"Ah- yes, I'm so sorry." He rolls to the side and stands up. I finally get the chance to sit up, but before I properly do so he offers his hand. I take it and stand up, but before I begin walking he starts speaking.

"I noticed I haven't seen you around here, are you new?" 

"Ah, yeah. Just transferred here." I say while superficially cleaning the areas that made contact with the ground.

"Then, nice to meet you, I'm Nagito Komaeda. Welcome to Collège Françoise Dupont." He smiled brightly.

"Pleasure to meet you, i'm...-" the bell rings - Nononononono, i'm not gonna start my year being late, seems like the teacher isn't in class yet, if i rush... maybe...' - "...Really late- argh- shit shit shit" i start running at full speed to the classroom.

Luckily when I arrived the teacher wasn't there yet and I saw an open seat next to Chiaki. - 'This was a surprise, did she know? Did she save me a seat, is someone missing or maybe i'm just lucky...?' 

Either way I walk towards her.

"Surprise" I say as I walk toward her.

"Hajime-? You transferred here?"

"Yup, I somehow convinced my parents. Which reminds me, is this seat taken?"

"Ah, no- " she yawns, "seats change every year and no one wants to sit here because normally there's this one boy who'll sit in front of you. Only four people talk to him: Ibuki, Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko. He and Sonia talk sometimes."

"Oh, I see" I sit next to Chiaki and slide my bag to my side.

( Nagito pov )

The plain yet beautiful boy went away in a second. I wonder if I had hit my head hard enough when falling that I imagined the whole thing.

'No, he reminds me of someone... he also, never gave me his name... Nevermind that, i should fill my bottle and go back to class'.

As I walk I can't shake the feeling that I've seen him before. 'doesn't matter, if i know him i'll remember eventually.'

The bottle slowly fills up, I see Miss Bustier heading upstairs.

I speed up trying to catch up to her. 

"Good morning miss Bustier".

"Oh, good morning Nagito, nice seeing you stayed for another year."

I let out a little laugh - "You're probably the only one who feels like that, but thank you, tra-" - 'she doesn't like it when i make self-deprecating comments... i shouldn’t make her uncomfortable'  - "...Thank you".

She smiles. 

She opens the door and lets me in first. I give a little nod to thank her and go in, automatically heading towards "my" seat next to Fuyuhiko.

I look up and the boy from earlier is there. He's talking to Chiaki. 

'Oh, so he's Chaiki's friend. No wonder I remembered seeing him somewhere'. 

I sit and turn around.

"Hey Chiaki" 

"Oh, hey Nagito." she says while yawning.  - "This is Hajime, I've told you about him."

"Ah- sorry about earlier, I was worried I'd be late and ruin Chiaki's surprise. I should introduce myself properly. I'm Hajime Hinata. It's a pleasure to meet you."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

chp. 0 > chp. 1 pt 1 > chp. 1 pt 2 > chp. 1 pt 3

[skythesnake]

Song of the Farmer

hey, uh- I don't know how to format this, is my first time

I don't think there's any trigger warnings, I try to keep it pretty chill. There's some swearing and it will pick up as the story does, but shouldn't be too bad.

Sam/Farmer - Penny/Maru - Emily/Shane

Pat breathed in the crisp mountain air as he got off the bus. The ride had been bumpy and he was horrified to notice smoke coming from the bus' front end. He stepped away quickly and turned at the sound of a clearing throat

"Ah, hello. You must be… Patr-"

"Just Pat. Please." I interrupted. The last thing I needed was my terrible name following me here. The old man standing in front of me smiled

"Alright. You must be Pat. I'm Lewis, the mayor?" That's right. He and my grandpa had been good friends back in the day. He and I had been communicating via email ever since I opened the letter my grandpa had given me.

"Right. It's nice to make your acquaintance." What else and I meant to say here? Something about my grandfather? A man I'd never met except on his deathbed?

"Well, I should show you to you to Hyacinth Farms" This wasn't another reference to Greek Mythology was it? A reference to Hyacinthus, a boy who was killed and turned into a flower as a result of Apollo and Zephros fighting over him. It probably was. I nodded and gestured down the path.The farm was a damn wreck. Weeds, large rocks, and fallen logs covered nearly every inch of the place. And trees were scattered around as if someone had sprinkled seeds around from above and hoped for the best. Worst was the house. It looked worn down and there were holes in the floor of the front porch. A woman with rust red hair stood next to it, a hammer in hand and toolkit sitting next to her. She saw us and waved

"Hey Lewis! And the new farmer! I fixed up the house for the most part, although you might want to get an upgrade from me in the near future." She laughed and Lewis shook his head

"The farmhouse is just fine!" He insisted. Something was clearly between them and I didn't want to get in the middle of it.

"Thank you… uh…" The woman smiled

"Robin"

"Thank you Robin for fixing the house up. It looks great for starting out, it's not like I need anything fancy." She smiled and the two of them left me to settle into my new home. I had all sorts of ideas to start clearing out the farm, but the second I got inside I crashed onto the bed.

Two days later, I'd gotten a good chunk of the clutter cleared out and some parsnips planted. I'd gone into town, but noped out when I noticed a group of people my age chatting in front of the store. I'd gone back later and bought a bunch of other seeds. Making friend's was easy for me, but all three people were *cute* and I didn't trust myself not to say something stupid. Today I was headed through town to go to Robin's. I wanted to follow up on the upgrade. How much was it going to cost me?

"Hey farmer!" I turned to see one of the people I'd seen before, his bright smile was infectious.

"Hello. I'm Pat, and you are?" Start off simple. Don't say anything stupid.

"I'm Sam! It's nice to meet ya Pat!" I smiled at him, unsure of what to say now.

"Do you skate?" He asked, gesturing to the skateboard tucked under his arm. I shook my head slightly

"Nope. Every time I try I fall flat on my face." Nice going, admitting that. I berated myself. He laughed loudly, but I didn't feel judged.

"Yeah, it's kinda difficult at first. Where are you headed?" He asked, curious. I threw my thumb over my shoulder, forcing myself not to stare at him

"Just up the mountain. Robin mentioned a house upgrade and the farmhouse has definitely seen better days." Sam nodded

"I'll walk ya up there. Sebastian lives there too, Robin's his mom. I was headed up to visit him actually." I smiled

"Sure. Is Sebastian an emo kid by chance?" That was the other boy I'd seen standing with Sam in front of the store the other day. I wondered who the girl was. Sam nodded as we started walking

"Yup, that's him! Have you met him?" Oops

"No, I just..." How do I finish this sentence? I saw you with him and a girl and then ran away because you were all too pretty?

"I've seen you and him around, figured I had a pretty good guess."

"What, and you didn't come say hi?" He teased.

"Nah, y'all looked too sketch for me." Oh shoot. Damnit Pat. This is why you don't think without speaking. Sam didn't seem hurt though. He laughed, damn that was a nice sound. We walked the rest of the trail in comfortable silence.

"Welp, this is where our paths divide. Looks like Sebastian is standing over there." I said, pointing to a goth looking kid standing by the waters edge of a lake nearby. Sam waved at me as he walked over to Sebastian. He was nicer than I'd expected for a skater boy hanging out with his goth friends. I walked inside and Robin looked up from the desk

"Hi! Pat, right?" She asked. I nodded and asked about the house upgrade. I nearly choked on air when she told me how much it would be and that I would also need to provide a whole lot of logs.

"Uh, that'll be a while coming. Thanks Robin." She smiled and waved as I headed out the door. I'd have to do a *lot* of farming if I wanted to achieve that amount of money.

[writingbyclem]

Go For It, Oswin! - ISWM [Band AU]

Concept: Me & My Friendos in a discord server came up with this really intense Band AU with our original character Captain-Sona’s & Markiplier Characters. This is a short based on a short by @oswinunknown, fellow contributor to this AU lmao. Hope you enjoy!

C was sitting on the bus, typing away on their computer. It was finally a day of rest for the group, a break from their current tour around the world. Captain^5 and The Iplier’s had quite the schedules to keep up with, so it was nice to get a day or so of rest.

They looked up when the door opened and slammed shut again. Dark, a member of The Iplier’s, glanced up from his own typing to see who it was. Oz was back. He’d headed out on the town on his own, looking for a book. He must’ve been successful, since it was tucked under his arm.

“Don’t slam the door, Oz.” Reminded Dark, looking back down at his laptop.

“Sorry! Sorry- Just forgot!” Shrugged Oz, sheepishly fiddling with the book in his arms.

Now that C was looking at it, the book looked rather worn to be one from a shop. The light blush across his face was also intriguing.

They clicked the save button on their files and put the laptop to the side.

“Hey Oz.” They waved, with a smile.

“Hello C- I got my book.” Grinned Oz, looking over to them with a wave.

“Ah yes, the Gatsby book.”

“But oh no C, not the normal one.” Chimed in Dark.

“The one where Carraway and Gatsby move away to a nice life!” Retorted C.

“As husbands.” Hummed Dark, playfully.

“The Pursuit and The Pursuing! By Aj Odasso!” The pair chorused, simultaneously with a snicker.

Oz had really gone on and on about that book.

“You two suck.” Pouted Oz, flushing.

“We’re only playing. Relax.” Mused C. “Come and sit down.”

Oz did so, sitting next to C.

“Was the bookshop nice?” They asked.

“Yeah, it was good. Quiet. A nice change to our current crazy life.” Nodded Oz.

“That’s great, I might have to take a look myself. What type of books did they have?”

“Oh yes! It’ll be nice for us to get you out of the bus C! They got all these new great well made copies and all of them are such good quality too- Like if you have a book of a certain genre, you’ll find something similar to it there, guaranteed!”

“Wow. All brand new books?”

“Yup!”

“Interesting.. So, why does your new book look rather well loved, Oswin?”

Oz paused, noticing his mistake. The curious mother-like look from C told him they could probably guess if he didn’t spill.

“Oh- I’m uh borrowing this- From a guy.” Explained Oz, sheepishly.

“A guy?” Teased C, lightly. “What’s his name?”

“Damien- I just bumped into him when I was looking- And he apologised when it was definitely my fault- And then he asked what I was looking for, so I told him- He said he had I copy I could borrow- And he was just so cute so I agreed! But then after I took the book- I realised my hood had been down. The. Entire. Time. I don’t think he knows who I am- And-“

“Woah there Oz, take a chill pill.” Soothed C, taking his hand. “You're jumping into the future here. How about we just focus on the fact that a cute guy named Damien, lended you his book and at some point you’ll give it back to him.”

Oz listened to them and blinked a couple times.

“Yeah- You’re right. Thanks C.”

“No problem. Gotta keep my position as Mom Friend somehow.”

Dark had been listening in to the conversation and walked over to the pair, setting down some mugs of hot chocolate for them both.

“Thanks Dark.” Smiled C.

“No problem, gotta keep my position as Dad Friend somehow.” He replied, with a wink before going back to his laptop.

C chuckled before looking back to Oz.

“It’ll all be alright, if this guy is worth it, he’ll understand! You just gotta, go for it Oswin!”

[easily-bullied]

wow I'm back two years later. I wanted to do some writing, get things out of my head and onto the page about the latest things that are bothering me. and then I read that last post and it made me want to laugh because... my mom died like 3 months after I wrote that wow that girl didn't know what was about to hit her.

perspective

hind sight

2 more years. 34 (lol 'im a thirty year old' nah bitch u were about to turn 32) and used to hell. shit I was coddled. I felt strong and I look at her like oh babes! champagne problems. but now I'm also comparing and it's like, well shit, I got some places. we moved. I had 2 semi serious flings (one was supposed to be the thrust of this post, it probably still will be) new job, new friends, new haunts, new furniture new anxieties same anxieties. rediscovering some thing I loved, finding ways to love someone, loving new parts of me.

ok is that enough of a through line? for the no one reading this. I wanna talk about the thing I came here for. let's get some stuff out.

I fell in love

I think I fell in love

I tried to fall in love and it might have worked

I looked at something that I could love and I said 'go and do it'

and that thing was like 'hey this is probably a bad idea' and I said 'yup, I hear you. I know.' and then I said quietly to myself 'love harder and maybe it'll work out. I bet if you just keep running and don't slow down you can fix this.' and I nodded at them and I nodded at my friends as they counseled me and still I whispered to myself 'no we should keep going'

what does that mean?? can that really just mean I'm that desperate to be loved? can it not mean that maybe this love was real and it should be cherished and missed? like it was supposed to happen and it's a cosmic wrong that needs to be righted? wouldn't that explain some of this feeling?

every day I'm white knuckling it. I want to text them even this second. hell I hope I'll convince myself it's a good idea by the time I'm done typing.

is it easier to think of not me? is that why?

at least im starting to forgive myself for my mistakes. or at least im convincing myself that they're being forgiven. and I bet they are! minor shit. shit I apologized for. profusely. and genuinely. real remorse. how do I be accountable? I respect the boundaries. at least the ones that I can assume. a few months they said. it's been 2 weeks. I'm dying

ok so let's say they come back. they say they missed me. they say they love me. what's that look like. what do I want. I want to see them happy and comfortable. I want them to thrive. I want them making art. I want them smiling and laughing. I want me feeling appreciated, I want me feeling adored and supported. I want to feel not alone. I want someone I can lean on. who looks forward to the times I need their strength cause it makes them feel strong and needed. that's who I need.

is that someone they are? it's hard to know I guess. it was only a few months. I feel like they would want to be able to be that person. but maybe just not yet. that would make sense to me. I can see that needing time. I can see that time being helpful. even if it's not for that express purpose. I can see it being the outcome.

would they see it in themselves? trust themselves to be it? I guess that's not up to me and I can't know it.

ok so what if they don't come back. are you going to wallow again? in three months still be sad? why were we sad before the relationship. why were we sad in it? I just don't feel real enough. I don't feel filled in. I feel like a first draft. I am one. I guess it all is. I don't think about it. I don't examine. I'm afraid to look. I don't feel like I have permission??

what would calm me down? knowing what they want? but they don't know. so that can't be what I need

knowing I'll be ok. knowing I won't be alone

ok let's think about that. so you really actually think you're unlovable? no

you know you're kinda great

it's about finding someone that makes you feel it when you can't feel it yourself. that exists. I've seen that. I won't break that next time. I'm better than I was

I'm good enough. I've always been good enough. how I'm better. only 34. 20 years. 20 long years. and I still won't even be 55. that's not bad. lots can happen in a year. boy oh boy lots and lots

where was I last August? I had just moved here. I would been just finished having my birthday. a lot anxious. wow I was looking to have a hot girl summer and have sex and then I realized I was too afraid. it wasn't time yet. ok so now I've had sex a bunch in the last few months. been in a couple dates. found a new type that I like. been with other trans people. felt seen and accepted. it's not a miracle when that happens. it just means it's with other people like me. people who are wonderful and beautiful and different and thought about why.

it's hot that you know who you are. even if you aren't finished. you went further than a lot of others.

the way they looked at you was real. you both know that was real. it doesn't matter what's coming. I can't control that. but it was real back then. that happened. and it felt so good and made everything feel better and it soothed you. and there's people who are dying to look at you that way again. maybe even that same person. but regardless you will have it

and it's with the knowledge that you can love them back in a way that you're proud of. that makes you feel like a whole. see your fullness as a woman, as a lover, as a caretaker, as a pillar, as a mother. all there. in me. swirling around. like how is that not the only thing I can think of? like holy shit look at you Momo. the fullness of you, the person you were SO afraid of being and now I'm it all day every day and like it just all slipped on exactly fitting. a slip, built for your body. all there.

Ollie loves you too. so don't be too worried. and also hey the last blog post was funny!