#(please read this)

[the-apology-dance]

I LIVE FOR BOOK AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY

Apparently in the book, Aziraphale and Crowley are implied to be a gay couple MANY TIMES.

A girl at Warlock’s birthday party calls Aziraphale a faggot.

Anathema automatically assumes that Crowley and Aziraphale are a gay couple after Crowley says “Goodnight miss. Get in, Angel.” to Aziraphale

Also, One scene I wish would’ve been acted out as it is in the book is when they both get shot with the paintball guns. How it happens in the book is Aziraphale ends up FALLING BACKWARDS INTO A RHODODENDRON BUSH and Crowley sinks down on a statue.

Crowley believes he is bleeding YELLOW and DYING and instead of, ya know, helping Aziraphale UP AS HIS ANGEL HAS JUST SAUNTERED VAGUELY DOWNWARDS INTO A BUSH, HE JUST CHOOSES TO CRAWL INTO THE BUSH AS WELL, BELIEVING SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH BIOLOGY. Aziraphale tells Crowley it hurt and it hit him under his ribs, which he brushes off TO ASK IF ANGELS BLEED BLUE.

Aziraphale proceeds to the same self examination as Crowley.

Crowley only figures out it is PAINT when he TASTES IT. They conclude it is PAINT.

6000 years on earth, and these idiots don’t know what a paintball gun is.

I LOVE THESE IDIOTS.

(EDIT: how did this post get so many likes???😆)

[theemomarshmallow]

Thank you for articulating this.

If your vision for the deradicalization of right-wing men begins and ends with "other men telling them that that's gross and to stop it" then I'm sorry, you do not understand how masculinity works.

"Men who hold patriarchal status" and "men who are feminists" are two groups who overlap less than you want them to. I'm sorry. That's not solely because men are so happy with patriarchal status that they don't want to risk it by policing misogyny/queerphobia/racism, It's because being misogynistic, queerphobic, and racist, end expressing other forms of toxic masculinity(and often abusively so) are part of how people establish and maintain patriarchal status. The men who have the ability to stop this via nothing but peer pressure are the very people who are doing it. That's by design. And engaging in feminist intervention is, in and of itself, usually the abrupt end of that status and its associated power to persuade misogynistic men.

Like, I have worked in blue collar jobs as a notably queer person. It was pretty much a constant deluge of verbal abuse. In my experience, most blue collar work environments are exploitative, abusive, and bigoted, and very gleefully so. On the occasions I have spoken up about someone saying something that was super fucking out of line (asking me which of the girls walking by was hottest. We were installing a portable classroom at a middle school), believe it or not, they completely failed to be shamed! Because nobody else on the crew gave a fuck. *I* was the weird one. They ghosted me. A full blown company ghosted me. I suddenly didn't have a job anymore because they just straightforwardly stopped telling me where the next job site was.

Like, this doesn't mean that it's your job to do it, but this vision you have of these big groups of men where everyone is on the fence and there is precisely one shit stirrer who can be shut down by a brave feminist man who can single handedly set the example for all these other guys...you are high. You are describing an "everybody clapped" level absurd scenario. Most of these truly virulent misogynistic guys either have zero friends, because, you know, our society is atomized to fuck, or they are in a group where the feminist guy is actually the weirdo who can be shut down and ostracized much, much easier than the misogynists, because there is no such thing as a man misogynists respect who stands up for women.

You might be saying "well, we're talking about longstanding personal relationships, actually. Like, they need to have to want to spend time with you and then, as a side effect, you can mind control them out of being a threat to us."

Problem with that being:

1: Many feminist men also have no friends, see the atomized society above.

2: Feminist men already stopped hanging out with men who make rape jokes because why the fuck would we want to spend time with them.

3: That isn't just because we respect women so hard. We are in many cases talking about men who are also deeply queerphobic, heirarchical, violent and abusive to other men. What initially drew me to feminism and women was a lack of heirarchical squabbling and constant bullying, and the ability to be openly queer. A lot of men who came to feminism did so because they knew that the patriarchy was not a place they would find success or acceptance. These are not the men who are gonna be able to change right wing minds.

4. Men do not view themselves as a monolith. There is no universal brotherhood of men. The actual meaning of the term "Fragile masculinity" is that men are constantly expected to prove that they are deserving of the status of being a member of their own gender. There are large swathes of men--including most of the men who you'd look to as examples of good, feminist men who you want to undertake this project--who are considered failed men, sissies, f****ts, soyboys, ect. They are. Not. Going. To. Convince. These. Men. Of. Jack. Shit. Much less successfully *shame* them. Jesus.

I know all of this sucks. I know it would be cool to be able to just point at a group and have them be responsible for the work. But nah. It's gonna have to be a societal project, one that will probably outlast all of us. Sorry. The thing you want these men to do is, absolutely, the morally correct thing to do. But presuming that it would be effective is, and once again I am so sorry about this, just ignorance of how these social groups function.

[anotherbananasong]

GO READ THIS FIC IMMEDIATELY. It’s so beautifully written, everything about it is perfect. We interrupt your regularly scheduled Alpha beat down for this BECAUSE IT IS AMAZING. 😭😭����😭😭😭😭🥹🥹🥹

@bloodfin I cannot begin to express my awe and adoration of this. Beautiful.

Earth catching the kit as she fell from the portal because for some reason that was like, my favorite part. 🥹🥹

[lopsidedgryffins]

green’s inner conflict and how it is manifested through greenscreen: an analysis

TLDR at end!

disclaimer: this is probably really ooc, and is mostly speculation by a mediocre at best student of literature ++ i’ve never been good at lit, so this analysis is likely not gonna be great :/ feel free to criticise/comment on this analysis! i’m open to feedback if there’s any :)

SPOILERS FOR INFLUENCER ARC EPS 1 AND 2 AHEAD!

we first see greenscreen when the cg abandons an overdone/overedited video of theirs - he is quite literally borne of neglect, and is thus a symbol of green’s negligence towards his friends and the inner turmoil he faces in trying to cater to all his viewers. 

why does greenscreen appear as, well, green? green is basically fighting with himself, a form of inner conflict manifested through the CG’s fight with what is essentially green’s neglect and negative emotions. 

this is also super interesting because inner conflict is usually internal and invisible: that’s what most of it is about. however, alan and the team present it here through actual physical conflict, which parallels green’s fight with himself - to make the content that he and his friends want to make, or to cater to the viewers and leave his friends behind, becoming increasingly self-centred? 

in the first fight with greenscreen, the CG beat him as a group, and green even takes a photo of them together post-fight to upload to instagram. this symbolises green’s (temporary) triumph over his neglect for others, still caring for his friends. 

however, over time, green starts to drift from his friends. he distances himself from them, isolating himself in a minecraft room by himself to make videos, neglecting friendships, genuine feelings and enjoyment in preference for catering to his viewers and all their preferences, taking each piece of criticism too seriously. therefore, as green’s neglect toward his friendships with the CG continues and increases, greenscreen grows in power as the negativity and abandonment become worse.  

before we continue with that though, let’s talk about the recycle bin!

the recycle bin is a recurring figure across AvA - being used in both AvA and AvM to get rid of applications. that’s what a recycle bin is at its core - a receptacle for waste, left to be neglected, never truly emptied. both greenscreen and the deleted videos of the CG are thrown into the recycle bin, where they perhaps fester into who-knows-what in ep 3. you know who else was also unceremoniously thrown into a recycle bin/deleted? victim! after he escaped from the animator’s neglect towards his feelings and sentience, victim is out to get his revenge. the recycle bin takes it’s inhabitants’ negativity (in greenscreen’s case, neglect), and turns it stronger upon their escape. green’s dunking of greenscreen into the recycle bin in ep 1 is symbolic of him ignoring his tendency to ignore and leave his friends behind in the pursuit of content creation. he does not actively work on stopping such behaviour, instead leaving it in a metaphorical (and literal) recycle bin, letting his habit of neglecting others in the chase for something he desires to grow. 

my theory is that greenscreen may come back in the last episode of the influencer arc, beating green at first, symbolising green’s negligence towards his friends’ feelings consuming him in his pursuit of content creation, but this is overcome as he realises the situation he is in - where he finally beats greenscreen and with him, his internal conflict, not by throwing him into the recycle bin where the neglect will be left to fester, but by coming to terms with his plight, communicating with his friends and agreeing to create the content that they want to create, putting an end to the negligence and laying greenscreen to rest.

(as of writing this, green’s newest video (reacting to my friends having fun without me) shows the rest of the CG being thrown around? it looks like they’re fighting something/someone, which is very likely whatever spawned from the recycle bin - i’m guessing this is greenscreen.)

TLDR: greenscreen is a physical manifestation of green’s neglect towards his friends AND his internal conflict, who will return in ep3 of the influencer arc, but will ultimately be beaten by green which symbolises him stepping back from content creation.

thanks for reading till the end! really appreciate it if you read the whole thing - once again this is purely my own speculation, opinions and theory!

[thespookiestprincessofthemall]

[glassrowboat]

I'll Be Your Oxygen; I'll Be Your Home. Baizhu.

Summary: A single day can take your entire life and spin it off course, sending a ship steering one way an entire new direction all from a storm, or in this case, a chance run in wirh a mermaid. For you, what took this day off course was a single hook embedded in your tail, and from there, everything spiraled.

Author's note: This was supposed to be for mermay, but we all see how well that worked out so fuck it. Just enjoy.

Hey fuckers (Risse says lovingly) come here. @sunderingstars @auphelia @runawaymun

Word count: 14, 600+

A hook.

Glimmering in the sun's rays that reached under the water, like a gentle hand, to caress along your black and orange scales. Peaking past the surface, you hid yourself under to cast the metallic insult alight.

Shimmering.

It's funny how something that could appear so beautiful was the same cause for your bleeding. Wisps of red muddying the silver hue that was unabashedly pierced through your fin. Swirling around you as it danced in the water before getting swept up in the tide.

Many back home had taken to decorating themselves, to adorning their bodies with jewelry that fell from the islands above, seaweed, and even pink pearls. Strings of those shiny lusters had been a common sight for you once upon a time, seeing them every time another had swam past. You were no exception to indulging, either, letting them cover you as you smiled at the sight.

The thing is, you didn't exactly do this intentionally, not this time. Not while you were in foreign waters, ones that soaked into your gills in a way that still took you some time to get used to.

The salt had a way of numbing your tongue.

The taste was intrusive, always there even as your head rose out of the water earlier that day. Overhead chatter has you turning your gaze up to marvel at the harbor you chose to linger near.

Landmarks always proved to be handy now that you were lacking the tower that was so tall it might as well have loomed over everything.

Your ears popped, making it all the easier to listen to the gossip about the world above those two-legged creatures seemed so fond of. (Humans, you had learned they were called). Deals being struck all in the name of contracts and the jingle of those shiny coins they seemed to like sharing between each other as you peeked through the gaps of the wooden planks separating you from them. Footfalls occasionally have you pull back to hide behind one of the many beams that were lacquered over in some sort of substance that had you washing your webbed hands off.

Curiosity has led you here again and again.

At first, it was because of strange items, ones you've never seen the likes of before suddenly showing up in the sands of the reef you resided in. Half buried by the time you clawed them out of their newfound grave. Then it happened again. Another bewitching artifact that seemed to sing to you to keep it safe.

Plastic bags, a decorative mask, a handle of some sort, and fishnets all landing on what might as well be your front doorstep. Tangled in the bright corals.

Item after item that got carried in the currents you followed back to this place of barnacle covered wood, loud noises, and giant gates that seemed to welcome anyone in. Even you as you slinked around under the city.

One that apparently dropped shiny gold coins between the planks of the boardwalk. You couldn't help but dive after them just for the chance to stare at the trifecta with awe. The sounds of a person cursing above for daring to let the glittering rain fall from their hand drowned out as soon as you ducked below the water.

That's when your fin got trapped in something.

Trying to fight it only seemed to make you more wrapped up in its embrace. Tugging, trying to swim away as something pierced your fin. Not even your huff of fury scared it off as you jerked until the water was disturbed, a splash above you.

That was all you needed to flee. Ducking

between the floating devices resting on the surface. Some with scratches right along the bottom that were clear proof they had once upon a time been in the tides. Hulls most likely scraped up by the jagged rocks off to the island barely even a few miles away from the harbor. A fact that seemed to encourage a certain human with a standout personality (yes, that was a nice way to put it) into ice bridging his way across.

Which is how you had ended up here, hissing every time you poked at the wound in a futile attempt to yank the hook out.

Warm sand would usually be a comfort as you simply laid atop the grainy texture and soaked in the sounds of waves crashing against land now feeling invasive. It stuck to you in the worst of ways, grains covering your wound like it was a patch rather than something that only made this situation all the worse as you tried to brush it away to no avail. If anything, it seemed to only make it worse.

“Oceans below,” you muttered as the scuttering of crabs filled your ears. Had you really been here that long even they had started to simply accept your presence despite being notorious scaredy cats? The sound of scuttering behind you is unwelcome. Unwarranted, even as you stared at the mess you found yourself on.

Maybe curiosity was a bad thing.

Actually, the sound was a little too loud for some crabs, no matter how many there might be. That fact alone had you tensing up, shoulders locking into a tight posture as you looked behind you.

Head snapping back to see green hair that bristled slightly in the wind and eyes the same color as a golden koi trapped behind some glass contraption on this man's face. Your fins couldn't help but twitch at the sight, aching for the comfort of those creatures that would swim around you in circles, especially when you registered the odd creature wrapped around his neck.

A human stood before you.

A human has spotted you.

“Miss, are you alright?” He called out. Talking to you. You, rather than others of his kind as they walk about on land. No distance to be had between you two to simply observe him, wasting away hours with wide eyes as you try and soak in every detail to the point your gills would itch in irritation. Screaming at you to return back to where you belong.

The chance to watch from afar as you preferred ripped out from under you.

Your tail was burning as the salt water licked at your wounds, but it wasn't enough to keep you from trying to dive back in. The silver hook only dug into your skin further as your tail smacked against the rocks in your haste to escape. The faint plea of “wait, I can help” cut off the moment the waves welcomed you back like a smile belonging to someone once again getting the chance to see their lover.

The water is cold even in the spring.

That ache proved to be persistent. The hook ripped out of you in a haste to get rid of it even after fighting with your own head about whether or not it was a good idea. Clammy, shaking hands letting go of it the moment you were free as that color once again continued to muddy the space around you as you slinked into the corals below. Schools of fish that were gathered around your shelter quickly dispersed every which way as your shadow passed over them.

It hurt.

It stung.

Seafoam clung to the corners of your eyes as you wished you had stayed that moment longer before running away. Risked listening to possible false claims of wanting to help. At least then you wouldn't flinch and bite back a cry every time you shifted in place. Your own body had decided it didn't deserve the rest it craved as a night without sleep awaited you.

Hours passed in silence as you watched the glow of your tail flick along the cave, casting shapes that proved to be your only company.

You only risked peeking out past the walls of your shelter as the others in the reef awoke. A sweet-flower medaka moving past you without a care in the world, swimming close to the surface for its morning meal. Mouth already agape as a bug danced on the surface.

It was a sight you turned away from as you swam. You hadn't even decided as to where yet, but your tail moved as your mind debated over possibly cutting some leaves of seaweed to wrap around the injury. Other such methods you were familiar with weren't as viable here, the environment far too different from the one you knew better than the back of your hand. So you returned to what you knew: a sandy shore.

Something you're still questioning yourself over as you bite back as you break past the surface. Eyes just barely rise from the water to keep yourself from being seen.

Every now and then, a wave would wash over you as you gawked. Ogling the metal container left right where you had been sitting before.

That wasn't there last time. You knew it wasn't. You weren't that distracted to fail to notice something so obvious, something you would usually collect as a treasure from the curious human beings, even if the algae haired man had caught your attention so abruptly.

So, you picked the tin up in your hands. A small square box full of what seemed to be human food, if the smell was anything to go by. The same scents and spices you caught from the harbor that got caught on the wind. A welcome reprieve from salt, salt, and more salt filling your nose.

The paper that was previously laying underneath the tin almost got caught up in the same wind before you snatched it. Symbols covering the sheet you couldn't quite make out no matter how much you squinted at the messy handwriting. Not that it would help, anyway, not when you lacked the ability to actually make out the words on paper. So you let it go with a huff. Let it drift like those ‘proof of exchange’ that you often found to have fallen atop the surface of the water that would slowly consume it. Break it apart until there was nothing left.

A click and another as your nails tapped a slow pattern against the tin as you pulled away the ribbon on top, along with the foil covering it. Something white and fluffy you've never seen before packing it full. The only familiar sight being seaweed wrapped around these…triangles?

Foreign, but the thought it was edible quickly filled your mind.

The fact someone simply left it here without a single sign of anyone around only a faint deterrent from escaping back home with it. Tin and all. One you later found proved to be the perfect basket for all your tiny knick knacks of shiny golden coins, a tear dropped shaped wooden object with a metallic tip at the end, and an array of seashells.

Some of which you picked out, choosing some of your favorites you later placed right where the imprint of the tin still lay in the sand.

A thank you for the soggy treat. After all, it was better than having to try and snatch fruit off of the low hanging branches that touched the water.

A trend that continued on for three more days.

A new little container for storage, a new bow (one that no matter how many times you tried to replicate, failed to make just as pristine and perfect), and something stashed inside that proved to be something you could stuff down your throat.

An arrangement that proved to be far more convenient than having to try and snatch fruit off of the low hanging branches that lingered over the water. Less chance of being seen that way as constantly finding yourself needing to duck away whenever that large vessel with the paper lanterns setting it aglow passed overhead.

It always reminded you of home as it shone bright in the middle of the dark hour, making you want to sink your nails into the vessel's décor you couldn't help but liken to flowing fins. To cling onto it to give you purchase even if it only leads to catching the whispers shared above, but alas, even you could recognize that wouldn't be a bright idea.

So, you went to the shore again.

The same habit you've grown accustomed to in these few short days. A new schedule has emerged, breaking the one you had before of swimming just that bit further past the reef into the uncharted. Everyday daring to go somewhere new only to turn back again as the sun fell from the heaven to kiss the waters.

A tin was there, just as expected. Set neatly in place as you have come to expect.

You were already busy placing an odd drum like contraption with beads attached by two strings down. The ‘shadows’ payment for the day. Something you found right below the docks in your search for new treasures.

A small patter sounded as you placed it down in the sand, not minding as it hit against the grains as your eyes caught the sight of footprints. Usually, the tide would have washed those away by the time you came here, but today? There were clear signs of shoes having treaded through the area.

“She seems a little dumb. She's failed to notice us yet.” A shrill feminine voice called out, one that had you scanning the area around you to find the source only to land on the same man with those odd glasses before his eyes.

The one who claimed to want to help.

The footprints that lay before you leading all the water up to him as he stood only a few feet away from you, his shoes implanted right where the grass started, and the terrain below changed into dirt.

He was too close for comfort.

Too close for you not to have notice. Yet here you are again. Twice in the span of such a short time, you had been shocked by this man, taken aback by his presence.

Were your senses truly getting so dull you could easily be snuck up on?

You wanted to snap at the both of them. Warn them to back off. Both him and the odd creature wrapped around his neck, but before you could even curl your lips back into a scowl, he held his hands up in surrender.

A gesture that was barely enough to placate you.

“Is your tail feeling any better?” He asked, hands still high in the air despite the small twitch of his long fingers. “I noticed you were injured last time we met.”

Your tail splashed in the water at his words, droplets kicking up and falling back down like your own personal rain shower as they fell along your back.

“I suppose that means I should take that as a no.” It was obvious he was scrutinizing you, just as you were him taking in every detail of the other in the midst of the tense air. “Miss, I'm a healer. If you would care to let me, I can help you.”

You opened your mouth to reply, to tell him you're fine, only to be cut short as a croak left you. Voice broken to the point even you couldn't tell what was being said despite it being your own words. Too long has passed since you talked to anyone but yourself after venturing away from your own kind to need to use it to flex the muscle for it to be truly usable. After all, you could only entertain yourself for so long before you learned it was just easier to let your thoughts bounce around in your mind rather than on your tongue.

Yet, it seems he understood what you wanted to say as he nodded.

“I know you have no idea who I am, but we can start with something simple. I'm Baizhu,” One of his hands moved down ever so slowly, like he was making sure not to trigger your instinct to run (err, swim) away again as he brought it down to the white creature resting on his shoulders, “and this is Changsheng.”

Two names you could swear rang some sort of bell in your head, but still, you stayed as you were. Even as your own name was muttered under your breath, not truly wanting either of them to hear it despite bothering to share.

Unfortunately, it seemed the scaled one did as she repeated it back to you.

“That's a lovely name.” Baizhu said. His eyes constantly on you even as a pout crossed your features.

The day wasn't supposed to go like this. No, you were supposed to get something to stuff between your cheeks until they were aching from the stretch as you treated yourself like a chipmunk, leave something in exchange, duck around the corals, and maybe even harass a few fish between your fits of boredom as they swim away from you, kicking up a storm of bubbles.

“I have something for you,” he called out, trying to get your attention back on him without risking shuffling closer. “A balm of sorts. It took a while to find the proper ingredients, seeing as I needed something that would last well underwater and would work on your…”

His eyes moved to your tail for a moment before moving back to your face. “More unique qualities.”

“Medicine,” the ‘Changsheng’ said. “This one spent hours combing over books to find the right solution of ingredients.”

“Well, it's important to attend to everything I could in assurance that this would help her. I have never had such a patient before, so it only stands to reason I should be cautious.”

“Medicine?” You repeated after her, partially ignoring Baizhu's rambling. Trying to say it the same way she did proved to be awkward on your tongue, unable to copy the natural hiss to her voice.

The assurance of “it is” was quickly accompanied by the offer of a small item in his hand. A small cylinder of sorts that was covered in a label. You've encountered those before. Cursed as they peeled and tore in all the wrong ways as you tried to pick them off. Still, you didn't tell it. Not quite yet.

“You were the one leaving the food, weren't you?”

The creature tilted its head at you, watching you for a moment before asking “did you seriously eat something thinking it was coming from a random stranger?”

“Now, now, Changsheng.” Baizhu chided, hand moving up to brush along her scales. “She's simply...a little unaware of the world.”

Well, that certainly felt like an insult.

Baizhu had an easygoing smile as he carefully unwrapped her from around him, much akin to the scarfs you'd see in the colder months. When the water would freeze your skin and you'd be covered in white flakes that fell from the sky whenever you dared to leave your natural environment.

Is that what she was, a scarf?

He muttered: “Give us a moment, why don't you” as he held her up to the branches of a nearby tree. Her little scarf body wrapped around the bough and hiding between the yellow leaves that covered her so well you could almost convince yourself she wasn't there at all.

That is, if she didn't make a remark that was basically along the lines of “make sure the fish doesn't bite you.”

Baizhu apparently had no issue waving her words off as he took a step towards you. The sound of dirt crunching wasn't what graced your ears this time. No, rather, he was trying to cross the divide. To step those few feet closer to you. Sand shuffling as it's kicked up, that's the sound that greeted you.

“I'd rather you stay over there.” The way the words came out as more than a question than a statement had you both raising a brow. One aimed at you, and, well, the other aimed at you by you.

“I promise I merely want to confirm to myself you're alright, miss. If you would be kind enough to give me five minutes.” As Baizhu spoke, he urged your eyes to fall on the item in his hand. “It's nothing dangerous, I can assure you. Simply some sweet flowers, qingxing, mushrooms, and cryo slime condensate to make it a paste.”

“I don't know what any of those things besides the slimes are.” The little creatures that bounced along the edges of the water. At first, they appeared so cute, but you had been a victim once or twice after getting too close and having them direct their hostility towards you. Though, they were nothing compared to the sharp eyed creatures that ripped through the water in search of their latest hunt.

The sand crunched again as he took another step and in turn you slinked back.

“I assure you, I have no intention to harm you. I would be breaking, to me, a very important oath if I did anything other than assist you right now.”

His hand was outstretched towards you, offering the item so freely the feeling this was the bait to his lure couldn't help but gnaw at your mind. Even the pretty items wrapped around his wrists weren't enough to distract you despite the fact that you would long to have them in your collection any other day.

“You promise?”

“If I lied, Changsheng would surely say something. Or can you not tell she's an honest individual?”

Well, Baizhu certainly had a point there, even if his tone was a bit too litted for your liking.

But he did promise with a simple nod of his head.

Without a word, you snatched the cylinder from him hands and swam away. Tail flicking behind you as you dove. The sound of coughing filling the air doing nothing to deter you from fleeing.

Still, like always, you left a thank you behind. Even if it was done in the middle of the night to assure no one could sneak up on you this time. Every little golden coin those humans seemed to value so highly you've found, no thanks to the loose grips of lazy hands and purses in poor condition, stacked up on top of each other in the sand.

That night had to be the first one you hadn't woken up in the middle of due to pain.

Maybe that's why you returned, half hoping to see Baizhu and half hoping you'd never catch a glimpse of him again. An unlikely event, considering you were staring at him now from behind the rock you were using to hide yourself. Tail, now with your injured fin covered in the salve, brushing along the smooth surface, the waves have dulled down to a rounded edge.

He was resting in the shallows, feet dipped into the water as Baizhu's purple pants were rolled up past his shins.

How did you only just notice how colorful the man's clothing was?

Strangely enough, it reminded you of the hues in the depths you hailed from. The bright blue flowers that would glow just like your tail as evernight flooded the sky, patterns in his clothing that had you longing to see the carved stone of those old buildings falling to ruins, and the water that turned hostile against those that lived there.

Sparks of electricity that bit at your muscles in nothing short of pure irritation ruining the home you once had.

So some went west, some went east, and you went north.

“You're back.”

His eyes flicked up to you, moving from where his feet were digging into the sand that swallowed his limbs with every step. “As are you.”

In the silence, the lack of a buzz of anything between the two of you, you hastily asked where the scarf was. She was missing today, after all, not to mention a small part of you found comfort in the fact there was another scaled creature to talk to. To break the ice. Even if she was…a little sharp tongued.

“Changsheng,” he asked, mirth in his voice. “She's on the tree over there. The one I placed her on before. She always complains about the water anytime she gets wet, so I thought it best to leave her be.”

The silence returned. Your eyes stuck on your webbed fingers. Suddenly, something you had all your life proved to be quite the marvel as you stared at the veins through the translucent skin.

“A snake.” He dared to break the tension. Speaking over the waves. “She's known as a snake, if you were wondering.”

“I see.” You said after a moment of hesitance, unsure of what you were supposed to say to something so simple.

You couldn't help but chew on your lip for a moment, hoping you could swallow something down and regurgitate words that hopefully turned out to be a sentence. A half-baked question on your tongue as Baizhu spoke. Both of you cutting the other off.

“I'm sorry.” Swallowing down the lump in his throat, Baizhu gestured towards you. “Please, go first. I want to hear what you have to say.”

“What are you doing here?”

"One can only work so long when your own employees are insisting you take a break. Not to mention Changsheng trying to slip her tail under my glasses to slide them off certainly helped to encourage me out the door.”

“Glasses?”

Those must be the things on his face then. The thin golden wire pinched between your fingers as you pulled them off of him. A sigh immediately fell from Baizhu's lips as he looked down at you, holding them up to your own eyes, mimicking the way he used them even as they made your vision blurry. Almost like seafoam was creasing into the corners of your eyes again as you squint to see anything as more than just random blobs of color.

“Can you… return those? Baizhu asked, a waver to his voice like he was afraid the wrong tone would frighten you off again. "And not do that again?”

He didn't snatch them from you, not the same way you did him as Baizhu pinched the frames. His fingers brushed against your cheek as he took your newfound, and rather confounding, treasure back. “I need those to see, miss.”

“Oh…I…don't see how they do, but okay.”

“You seem to have a habit of collecting whatever catches your eye. From everything to tassels to rattle drums. Qiqi, one of my- well, a child I care for, seemed to enjoy playing with it for a time.”

“I found most of my keepsakes under the harbor.” You admitted.

You've spent what had to have been days by now lingering around the boardwalk and concrete platforms, eyes searching about the area and you ruffled through bits of trash, plant life, and piles of seaweed that crashed against any rock they could catch on. Waves rocking them back and forth and to be taken away to go float somewhere else before your search was even up.

“Then you are the reason the children have been whispering that old tale again. It has been some time since I heard it.” After Baizhu finished cleaning his glasses off of the water droplets, he slipped them back on. “It was enough to bring back some old memories.”

“Whispers?” You asked, head cocking to the side.

“You're not as subtle as you might think you are, miss. I do suggest being a bit more careful about who catches sight of your tail during your treasure hunts.”

“So I do have to be careful of humans then?” You asked despite the fact that talking still hurt.

Still made your throat wish to swipe back at you with clawed hands to simply allow it some rest, but this question was important. You lacked experience with their kind, with this land. You might as well be going in blind at this rate despite having eyes adapted to the dark.

“You wouldn't be the oddest sight in Liyue, not when we have the illustrious Adepti serving the land, but it never hurts to be cautious." Baizhu warned. "One can never be too careful, in both terms of the people around them and our very own selves. That's why it is important to look after our bodies.”

Baizhu certainly sounded like a healer now, chattering about this topic with ease as he mentioned your tail: an example of his point.

“Which is why we ought to take care of it. If you would let me?”

Your lips twisted down. “I somehow feel like I swam right into that one.”

Baizhu's eyes creased as he smiled, little wrinkles forming as he chuckled. “You did, but if you would be so kind as to let me?”

If you can hand anything to this man, it was the simple fact of how persistent he is. Nagging at you over the same thing until you found yourself giving in. Tail still in the water, flicking every now and again in protest as his hand slid over the scales all the way down to the injured fin.

You were tempted to pull back, to find a conch shell to scream into so it may too know what it's like to hear the depths of the ocean, but you merely sat there taking in a shaky breath as he whispered in what had to be the sweetest voice you've ever heard that he'll treat whatever ails you. All you have to do is ask.

The start of an untimely friendship even if Baizhu was in a coughing fit by the time he was once again out of the waters. Hand covering his mouth. The snake, as you learned she was called, wrapped around his neck as he choked out a simple wish: for you to be careful on your way home.

The noise was one you recognized, having heard it from the masked creatures that roamed on the purple lands, grass crunching under their feet right before falling to their knees. Some would even tumble off cliffs, gracing your home with their presence as they sank lower and lower until you couldn't see even the outline of their bodies anymore.

No one ever bothered to help, so you never learned how.

Making it a sound you never cared for.

He seemed to cover his mouth a lot you had come to notice, carrying a handkerchief around with him and tucking it away as fast as possible even when it was just you, him, and Changsheng. Like there was something to hide even as he told you about how that day went as the people on the docks grew in numbers and started to complain about their work days. Whining about being sweaty, no thanks to the ever increasing beat of the sun as the weeks passed. The second you hear that first “it's been such a long day” you knew it meant you could see your newfound friend again.

Your only friend, really.

Him and the little loudmouth hanging off his shoulders.

She had found herself a hobby of resting on the highest rock she could find as the tide slowly creeped in. Soaking in the stones' warmth until she called out: it was time to go. At least, that's how it usually went. If not, you would be listening to Baizhu excitedly rambling to you about the newest concoction he's working on or listening to pages flip as he sat on the sandy shores and read.

The sun was still peeking out just enough he could catch the words as you looked over his shoulder. Illustrations of plants you had never seen before painting the pages you were too scared to touch in case your water covered hands would smudge the ink.

Baizhu would point at each one, read aloud for you as he explained their purpose and where he would go to find them. Your fins (now healed) brushing along his leg as he spoke. Some he would explain came from his own personal greenhouse, having no other option but to grow them himself if he wanted fresh specimens, others came from Liyue's mountains and oceans of grass, and some he simply had imported over from other nations.

Flaming flowers: helpful for soothing pulled muscles.

Zaytun peaches: a relaxing ingredient that, if the right percentage is used, can be implemented in sleeping pills.

Sweet flowers: they can help make a patient stop complaining too much about how bitter the medicine he makes is.

That had you giggling as Baizhu's brows pinched together, already exasperated just from mentioning the complaints he's gotten.

And sakura blooms: the extract of which is used in vitamin supplements.

Your eyes were glued to the page at the sight. Branches covered in little pink petals that had you leaning over the book just to see them the slightest bit closer.

“I know those.” You muttered, mouth moving faster than your mind.

“Do you now?” Baizhu looked up at you, curiosity swimming in his eyes.

It didn't come to a surprise that piqued his interest, not after the slew of questions you received the day he checked how your tail had been healing. It seemed like every little detail he could think of flew past his lips, wanting to whatever you would be willing to share with him of the place you grew up, if there were others like you, if all mermaids had tails that resembled a dawncatcher medaka or if it was just you.

Even something as mundane as what your diet was.

It had gotten to the point you were debating thwacking him with said tail as his fingers slid over the injury, so gentle with you, you barely even felt the sting of pain as he applied another salve.

Later on, Baizhu confessed that talking so much, asking questions, helps to keep a patient distracted while tending to them; but he was just mainly prying to sate his own inquisitive nature.

But for now, he was nodding as his hand flipped to another page, slipping through this book he called a journal like he knew exactly what every page contained. “I recently received a brand new stock of sakura blooms.”

“I remember looking off into the distance and seeing that tree way on top of the main island, the one with the weird shape to it, before finally saying goodbye to the place that raised me.”

As you spoke you raised your hand up in the air, like you were reaching out for the petals, hoping they would slip from the branches that hugged them tight so you could be blessed with the chance to know what they feel like, what they smell like. Would they be as bittersweet as the mere thought of them was? Would they feel the same as the flowers in Enkanomiya?

You could feel Baizhu's eyes on you, a soft gaze, but his pupils were slitted just like the vishaps. It felt contradictory, somehow, but he pulled it off with ease. “Parting from your home is never easy.”

“Yeah..It..” You couldn't help but shake your head, trying to knock your thoughts free and away just like the droplets of water that had been clinging onto your hair had. “So, sakura blooms?”

“Yes, well..” Baizhu looked down at his journal, staring down at a letter that was now distorted from the droplet. “Many use the petals for teas. From what I hear, it's a popular flavor in Inazuma.”

“Is it any good?”

“Most of the sakura treats are laced with sugar, far from being healthy for dental hygiene. Especially for the children who still pretend to brush their teeth before bed.”

“Baizhu,” Changsheng called out, her tongue flicking in the air, “that's not what she asked.”

“Right. Right. Excuse me,” your name came out of his mouth like a song, better than any of the ones you've picked up being hummed as sailors walked back and forth aboard the ships (as Baizhu had taught you they were called) with boxes full of merchandise. “I'm sure I can make some tea cakes for you. There are surely some substitutions I can use. Applesauce, for example…”

“It'll be like our old deal.”

You had half the mind to bring him some shells in exchange, maybe even bits of coral. It wouldn't matter even if Changsheng called your treasures worthless junk again if he held them close and smiled at you in thanks.

Your scales shivered under his touch as Baizhu's leg brushed against you, fin twitching as he said: “Not quite. I don't have to coax you out of hiding this time.”

“Hey now.” You huffed.

He turned away from your pout, finger sliding back over the journal before him as he pointed at one of the jumbles of scribbles. It was easier that way to hide his smile despite the fact it still showed in his voice. “For now, let's enjoy the day.”

“You mean the blistering heat of the summer.” That did no good for your scales that insisted on drying out under the ever shining sun.

“Now, now, It's important for everyone to simply take a step back from the churn of the every day to appreciate the scenery around them, heat and all. Especially in good company.”

“You're right.” You said, shoulders raising in a shrug. “Changsheng is good company.”

Baizhu didn't always show up. Sometimes, he failed to give you an explanation at all after disappearing on you for days. Leaving you to meander to force time to pass. Hours were spent around the reef trying to bother the fish that had grown so used to your presence that they didn't even stir until you started to chase them around.

You had learned this game from watching a group of boys. Children who caused a ruckus as their feet padded across the streets, running around stalls, adults, and crates that had yet to be unloaded as they played tag. Hands outreached to grab onto each other.

It was better than nagging, or quoting Baizhu's lines about “health comes first” as he looks at you with sunken eyes.

Was it wrong to want to know what was plaguing him so?

At first, he had used this sort of powder to hide the bags under his eyes, but one swipe of your webbed hand, still covered in droplets of water, wiped it away with ease.

Tinges of blue meeting you as he sighed.

Changsheng was the one who finally spoke up as Baizhu took your hand in his own, seeming to be figuring out how to hold it properly. Eyebrows pinched together as he held what he could close.

“It has been a long week. For both of us.” Just as always, Changsheng drew out every ‘S’, letting it punctuate her sentence.

“Yeah? That so?” You asked.

You squeezed his hand back, not minding if it felt uncomfortable as his fingers slipped along the webbing. For him, you could stand the feeling that had shivers running down your spine.

“Indeed, a long week.” Baizhu said, seeming to have found a way he preferred to keep your hand in his.

That day, you two sat in silence. Listened to the waves lapping along the shore, Changsheng's snoring as she drifted off, and the whispers of the wind brushing through his hair.

You had stayed there, just like that, until the gills on your neck were itching. Begging for relief as you splashed into the water. He had told you to be careful of fishing lines on your way back as you resurfaced. A clear dismissal that had you nodding in agreement.

It wasn't your intention to leave, but for some reason he took it that way.

For some reason, you didn't even clear the air. Fix that little miscommunication as you swam away.

Neither of you talked about that day even as the waters grew cold. Leaves falling from branches, flying across your vision with every breeze in a flurry of yellows and oranges, strangely reminiscent of a diveda ray leaping into the air.

The humans had begun to wear scarfs again, choosing to hide away indoors or under layers of clothing, waddling around as they got their daily business done.

A change of season.

And a sweater held out to you.

Baizhu had been insisting you wear one, even if it's only while you're up on the surface as he laid it on your bare shoulders. The soft texture lacked the scent that seemed to linger on his person, but you held it close to you anyway; hugging it around your body just as Changsheng was your neck.

She often complained how you always smelt of sea salt, but she had been the one who moved from Baizhu to you. Something he seemed rather betrayed by in the moment, just not enough so to move away from where you sat. Hip to hip.

“How has work been at the pharmacy?”

“Long.” Changsheng remarked, her nose buried into your neck.

“Well, we were expecting this, at the very least. I even asked Gui to stock up on a few extra herbs for me, but-” Baizhu sighed. A long, drawn-out breath as his head tilted back with a pop. “It's flu season again, meaning lines of patients right outside the door all coughing right onto each other. I had to ask Qiqi to hand out face masks for everyone.”

“Is this where you rant about people not being cautious about spreading their sicknesses again?”

A hiss, and you looked down at Changsheng, who was shaking her little head. “I don't need to hear his lecture again, not when I am sure I can recite it word for word.”

“Come now, surely I can't be that bad.”

At the same time you and Changsheng both said to him “you are.”

Baizhu's lips quirked down, meeting you both with a frown, but before he could say anything, you were already tossing out words you were used to hearing from him the most. Discomfort, symptoms, no need to worry about my cough, exhaustion, and cover your mouth when you sneeze. The only reason you stopped short as you were about to say more was Baizhu's finger brushing the hair sticking to your lips away.

The growing warmth in your cheeks was getting harder to ignore as he leaned closer.

“You forgot prescriptions, pills-”

“And other such hubbub we are well used to.” Changsheng said, unabashedly cutting him off.

It gave you just enough time to pull back, to pretend you were just slipping your arms through the holes of the sweater as the two went back to their playful bickering. Always like mother and son. If not that, maybe Changsheng could take the role of that one aunt you had who purposefully nudged pufferfish in hopes of getting high.

“Then what do you suggest we talk about since this topic is so dreadful?” Baizhu spoke your name, dragging you into the conversation as he claimed you complained the moment he brought up the weather last time.

“I'm allowed to be blasé when talking about the weather of all things.”

What were you supposed to do, get excited every time it rained? That had only been a marvel the first few times as you stared up at the sky, mind trying to comprehend what was happening. The stone ceiling only ever splashed you with droplets, perspiration coating the stalactites until enough water coated the end to fall down. It was nothing like watching the clouds come overhead, gray, almost angry looking, as you had sat there all day atop a rock.

Back then, you couldn't help but wonder if it had meant Morax was crying, just like how the storms of thunder and lightning surrounding Inazuma meant the Shogun was blocking everything out.

“It's boring.” You whined.

“I come and visit you whenever I have the time to spare, not a complaint to be heard after I walk down here knowing you can't visit me, and you still say I'm boring?” Baizhu teased. His eyes sparkled behind his glasses in a way that had you rolling yours.

“Yes.”

“You've gotten cheeky.”

“You've rubbed off on me.”

“Or a certain fish was waiting to show her real personality, so we would keep feeding her.” Changsheng interjected.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” You said as she shifted on your shoulders, her pearl like scales brushing along your neck, covering your gills until you pulled her away from them.

In your struggle against the snake (that you still found yourself referring to as a scarf on the rare occasion), Baizhu fixed the sweater as it fell off your shoulder. Tugging it up for you.

“It's quite alright if that's why you're sticking around. At least this way, I know you are getting a well-balanced meal every day.”

“That's not-”

Not true. Not in the slightest.

You found yourself taking his hand, holding it up as you stare at the lines embedded in his palm, at the lack of webbing, at the skin that was smooth to the touch, lacking a single black tipped scale. These days, you found yourself forgetting about that boundary between you two, of mermaid and human, as he teased you, but then came moments like these. Baizhu atop a rock, sitting comfortably in the sun without needing to splash himself with water. It proved to remind you of how different you two really are as you swallow down the lump in your throat.

Like you were trying to force an entire sunsettia into your mouth with only one bite. Grating against your throat.

“Sure, I only stick around because of the food. Makes it easy, you know?" You didn't mean to sound that bitter, but somehow it felt natural to wear poison on your tongue. At least right now, anyway.

Maybe that's why Baizhu always refuses to share why the handkerchief he carries around is stained a muddied red because you and he are two different creatures entirely. A gap you could never hope to fill, seeming to grow bigger, stretching into a chasm, as you glanced up at him.

“It's getting late,” you said, “and I should head back before it gets too dark. I don't need to catch any attention from the local fisherman, you know?”

“Yes, I have heard there is a local legend going around of a glowing fish the fisherman's association says will grant you a wish if you catch it. I thought we told you to be more careful about being spotted.”

You muttered how you'll be sure to keep an eye out from now on, thanking Changsheng for her concern, as you slid the sweater off. Casting it aside in a heap as it landed in the sand. Grains getting caught in the knitted wool before you even managed to splash into the water to return to the reef.

Your black tail stands out like an ink blotch on pure white paper as you duck back into the bright pink and purple plant life.

A fish out of water in the very element that you breathed.

If it were any other day, you might have laughed at the irony, but the idea tasted bitter as the ever encompassing salt you waded through as your fingers dug through piles of trash again. Anything to keep you busy, even if it meant telling yourself to focus on finding treasure, to ignore the way you weren't as ecstatic as you were used to when finding something new.

Lots of something news greeted you as weeks passed. Bright red pouches, kites that had fallen into the water as the breeze robbed them of their right to fly, random shipment boxes that fell off the ships passing you overhead in their haste to take off, and even a lantern that wasn't tied off properly to the stake it had once called home.

There were many lanterns these days, actually. Glowing in the middle of the night, flickering in a way that had you longing to wrap your arms around the bioluminescent fish that you hadn't had the chance to see in months. Even if they flapped about in your arms, desperate for escape, you would refuse to let them go.

As the lanterns shined bright, your hand clasped around the paper dissolving under your touch, wishing, praying that your mind could delude itself long enough you could see the outlines of a formalo ray in the kite.

By the time it fell apart seafoam was clouding your vision.

Blurred outlines of leaves, a bamboo fence only a few feet away from the water you sat in, lily pads, and seaweed like hair all encircling you the same way your arms did the scraps of what once was.

The only thing that shook you out of your reverie was a call of your name. Familiar, but not familiar in the way you craved. It wasn't the voice of your own kind, distorted by water as you laughed with those around you.

“What are you doing here?”

You looked up at Baizhu as his shoes came to a stop before you, shiny gold accents you had burned the image of into your eyes after all the times he slipped them off; dipped his feet into the water, waves making the anklet he wears rise and fall every time they came in as he stood beside you.

“I was about to ask you the same thing, but then I came across this.” His fingers brushed along the sticks that had once held the kite together as he spoke, grazing over the lacquered wood. “And you.”

Slowly, surely, your grip loosened. Your precious treasure falls to the ground only to reveal your hands covered in splinters. You hadn't even noticed the sticks had snapped under your grip when wails had rocked you until now, but Baizhu seemed to notice right away as he looked between you and the pinpricks of blood.

“Is…is this when you lecture me about how I need to disinfect my hands on something?”

“In a moment, dear. For now, won't you come here for me?”

Baizhu's arms were already wide open, waiting for you to fall into them. To let him hold you. An offer you didn't even think to refuse as you tackled him down. Small coughs shook his shoulders as you both fell, but that didn't deter him from whispering in your ear how everything will be okay. How you just need to let it all out.

Nails traced along your back, causing shivers as he found every divet, every scar, every mole the expanse of skin had to offer as you two stayed like that.

The seafoam had long since been wiped from your eyes, but still, Baizhu held you. Hugged you just as tightly as you did him with your tail that found itself wrapped around his leg; refusing to let go.

“Do you want to tell me about what's going on? I have an idea, but…” The way he talked to you had warmth flooding over your skin, easing the goosebumps that had started to appear after his touch.

“No- I-” You stammered.

It reminded you of the tower, the warmth of its light that would flicker on and off, shining so fiercely it pierced through the vale of fog, casting its glow over the pool you found yourself in more often than not. You would peek your head out, water rippling around you, just to watch the purple wisps dance in the air. You never did learn what they were dancing to, but you liked to pretend it was a song only they knew.

“Shh, it's alright. I'm here, even if you can't bring yourself to talk.” He whispered in your ear., voice as soft of the grass under you.

Mumbles of apologies fell from your lips like a waterfall, coursing through you and coming out in waves even as Baizhu assured you it's better to let it out now, that you can always tell him what has made you so distressed later. That he had an idea what's wrong anyway, so there's no need to feel rushed.

You had only pulled away from his embrace to ask what he was doing here, not used to seeing Baizhu anywhere but the little beachside front you always met. Where the sounds of the harbor could be heard, but the mountain blocked the sight of sails as docked ships rocked back and forth.

“I was at Qingce Village helping decorate. Many of the people living there are far too old to be climbing ladders just to hang something up. I fear. However, they will still try despite the doctor's orders.”

“Always nagging.” You teased. Or, at the very least, tried your best to when your voice broke on each word. “I bet the next thing you're going to say is they shouldn't be running around outside so much with weary bones.”

“A perfectly understandable thing to say.”

Your thumb rubbed over the growing crease between Baizhu's eyebrows as they furrowed together. A sight for sore eyes.

“Where have you been?" You inquired. "I haven't seen you at our normal spot for weeks.”

Admittedly, you had only waited for him for a few short minutes before leaving. Your temper suddenly grew thin since the last time you talked to him, leaving an ache in your chest as dark as evernight every time you left the sandy shores behind. Lingering, as you had reasoned with yourself, wouldn't change the outcome.

If Baizhu didn't want to be there he simply wouldn't be.

Apparently, that had been a foolish thought as Baizhu admitted that he had visited when he could. “Rarely, but I tried. I have just been…otherwise occupied.”

His eyes fell to look at the ground, to gaze at the blade of grass you two rested upon, telling you all you needed to know. “Guess you don't know what to say when you don't have Changsheng to cover for you, huh? Where is she, anyway?”

With a scoff you asked: “Now, when did I need someone to cover for me?”

Your jaw almost dropped at the sheer audacity as he tried to pretend everything was alright. Normal even. It caused a warning tone to bubble in your voice as you called his name, though you had to doubt its effectiveness when he's still holding you close and your own voice still is broken from your earlier crying.

You two stared at each other for a moment, your scales grating against his skin, before Baizhu relented.

“Back at the village with Qiqi and her friend, a little girl named Yaoyao. They were learning how to tie good luck knots for the coming New Years. I was on my way to fetch some more string, so I wasn't exactly expecting it to take long.”

“Good. Now was that so hard?”

“Terribly so.” A small smile was on his face, voice too shameless for a man that was supposed to be feeling a little guilty right now, but you let it go as Baizhu asked to see your hands.

As he raised your open palms up, trying to get a better view of them, you couldn't help but think about how if Changsheng was here now she'd be calling you stupid; asking how a creature that's fortunate enough to have limbs, hands, and fingers, would be dumb enough to injure them. And you'd be arguing back with her until Baizhu held you a little tighter and told you to stay still a minute longer.

And of course, you'd oblige.

“So what is a good luck knot?”

“A traditional craft for those of us who hail from Liyue. It is said they can be used to ward off spirits who wish us harm.” As Baizhu spoke, he carefully pulled the splinters from your skin. “I would make them with my master and fellow student, Jiangli, so we could hang them on the eve of Lantern Rite.”

"Forgive me. You most likely don't know what that is either.” He said as Baizhu took in your confused expression.

“Not one bit.” You confirmed with a nod.

“Then…” As the last splinter was pulled out, Baizhu held his hand above your, a faint green light swirling around you both. For a moment, you swore you saw eyes, wise, knowing, a creature that meant no harm swimming around you both before the pinpricks disappeared. “When the festival is…”

The green light cast on him might have been eerie to some, lighting his skin with a sickly tinge, making it all the more obvious just how pale and sunken some of his features were, but to you it was the same glow the depths of the water had always held.

In the dark, with nothing to light your way but random plant life as the tower once again turned off.

“You see, every year during Lantern Rite, there is a custom to set off fireworks every year. There is always a show held, a float built in honor of an illustrious Adepti. This year, if I can properly recall, is-”

It reminded you of home.

“You're rambling again.” You pointed out.

“Right. Right. Excuse me.”

Awkwardly, Baizhu cleared his throat, refusing to make eye contact with you as he watched the spirit vein disappear back into that glowing green gem he always wore on his waist; jade snake charm hanging off of it.

“Dear-”

“And when did you start calling me dear?”

He huffed your name out, punctuating the air with each syllable, but all you could focus on was how his ears were tinted a barely there shade of pink. “If you would be so polite as to stop cutting me off, I would like to speak.”

Your lips pinched together into a thin line as you made that motion you've seen him doing before. Running a hand over your own mouth, twisting the wrist ever so subtly, and tossing an invisible item away like it never meant anything to you in the first place. You never learned exactly what it meant, but you could get the picture after he did it when Changsheng said something he shushed her over.

Baizhu whispered his thanks, telling you he just needed to find the right words between the lull of the wind brushing through the grass.

It was as a little girl's voice, monotone, almost lifeless, filled the air, calling for Baizhu that he finally said: “Would you care to watch the fireworks with me?”

“I couldn't think of anything better.” You said with a smile, even as you could still feel seafoam stinging at your cheeks.

And as a little head of purple hair appeared in the distance, you sunk beneath the waves. A smile on your face as the water poured into your gills, bubbling around you.

Ripples on the surface creating tiny waves, just as they did as you swayed your tail back and forth. Your fins glowed, bright as the moon above, casting an orange glow that rivaled the lantern resting on the boat's seat. Ridges, wood grains, the tiniest of knicks and crannies all to be seen to the naked eye as you hung off the gunwale.

Shining in the water like it was the sky above and you were a lone star dotting its existence as you listened to Baizhu chuckling at another one of Changsheng's complaints about the cold as she wrapped herself even tighter around his neck, the little sweater he knitted her apparently not doing any favors to keep her snug.

“You knew we were going to be out on the water, but you still weren't prepared?” Baizhu asked, fingers brushing over her to pet Changsheng's little head.

“Not all of us scaled creatures are made to handle the cold, unlike someone.” She said with a pointed look your way.

Your gaze lingered on the harbor a minute more before looking back at her. Worry still ebbed at you, at the fact you could see the red constructs covering the boardwalk. The moment they were put up, you had awed over them, curious as ever as you watched the hanging umbrellas the same way one would flowers. Amazed at the array of colors. But Baizhu assured you that if anyone questioned what the light on the water was, they would just think it's a fisherman with a couple lanterns, waiting to release them.

“Hey," you whined, "don't bring me into this.”

“Don't want to be a part of our conversation now, dear?” Baizhu asked.

“Am I supposed to be?”

“Maybe.”

“Are you two going to do this all night?” Changsheng interjected. “Because if so, I should have stayed on land with Qiqi and Yaoyao.”

“Hush you.” He chastised before turning to you. “As for you, what do you think of Lantern Rite so far?”

You couldn't help but sink a bit lower in the water as Baizhu's gaze fell on you, tilting the boat down with you as you moved. You hadn't had his undivided attention since the moment you two were alone outside of Qingce Village. Even days later, when you close your eyes below the water, coral surrounding you, you could feel his fingers tracing along your back.

Ghosts of a touch.

“It's curious. Everyone on land I saw was decorated in these colorful clothes, had bundles of red envelopes in hand, and we're playing some game I couldn't grasp the rules of.”

“Oh? Last year, they had these little paper dolls. Qiqi had spent a good while outside the stall needing the instructions repeated to her before she could finally play.”

“That zombie,” Changsheng groaned, “I bet she wouldn't even remember her head if it wasn't attached to her.”

“What do you think she and that other girl…um Yaoyao, was it?” You asked, and at Baizhu's nod of confirmation, you continued your question. “What do you think those two are up to right now?”

“I can't say I am one hundred percent positive, but maybe they're eating jujube or sharing tales. A madam Ping who lives in the harbor tends to share stories of her long life if she's ever asked. I, myself, have heard one of two of her cherished memories after encountering her at Yujing Terrace.”

Changsheng seemed to mumble something under her breath, nothing you could fully make out, but you caught the words prattle, talk, and predictable old people.

“Stories, eh?” You flicked your tail. “Now that I think about it, you never told me about the tales those children were whispering about when I first started getting spotted around the harbor.”

“You, fish girl, shouldn't have been getting spotted in the first place.”

“Thanks, Changsheng, for your great input.”

Baizhu's hand pat your shoulder, wordlessly asking you to just forgive and forget the snake's sharp tongue. A talent he seemed to excel at. Not like he had much of a choice when she was always wrapped around his neck, but still. “We have time to spare before the show. How about I tell you now?”

With a nod you agreed. Told him “then, please, share with me with your tales of wonder.”

So, he did. Baizhu told you of a popular rendition of the Little Mermaid he apparently grew up with. The main character is a curious mermaid, much like yourself, fascinated with the human to such an extent that she wishes to do more than observe it, but to be a part of it. To regale herself in a world of her choosing all with a human man who had captured her eye. A goal she was only able to accomplish by making a deal with a sea witch that split her tail in two.

You couldn't help but wince at the implications, and Baizhu stopped his story short to ask if you were sure you wanted to hear more. But what's the point of listening if you weren't going to hear the full thing? So, of course, you said yes.

Continuing on from where he left, Baizhu explained how the deal involves the human (aka a prince in this story, for what fairytale would it be without royalty in there with their glittering crowns) having to fall for the mermaid. A task he failed at by turning his gaze to another.

With the loss of her love the mermaid with mutilated body walked towards the shore, agony filling her with every step as she gazed at the waters she once considered home, and turned to seafoam with her thoughts filled with the very man who betrayed her heart.

“That's…” You stared at him with pinched eyebrows, lips curled slightly as you ran the story through your head again and again. “Well, it's certainly nothing like the tales of my own kind I grew up with.”

“No?" His brow raised. "I would love to hear them. Especially seeing as you never told me much about the waters that raised you.”

Now that he mentioned it, you never did answer many of his questions that third run in, opting to glare at Baizhu instead as you did your best to stay on guard. Considering it now, you were overtly hostile to the man, but he wasn't swayed in the least.

Though, that's besides the point.

“Are we just going to brush over the mermaid violence though? It's like you humans are obsessed with tragedy or something.”

Even a storyteller who was roaming about on the docks, tea cup in hand as he talked, seemed fixated on tragic endings. He seemed to revel in them as he acted out the scenes with barely contained excitement. So obvious even you could pick it up with your arms wrapped around wooden pillars to keep yourself from floating off, drifting like a stick in the waves, as you listened in.

“Well, I can't disagree with you there.”

He leaned closer to you, the boat tilting once more, threatening to let some water slip in as he hovered close to you. Nose almost brushing yours. Like this, it was so easy to make out every detail; the scales of Changsheng's body as she called you two disgusting as made her way down Baizhu's arm to wrap herself around the paper lantern, still trying to keep herself warm; his golden, slitted eyes; and the way his lips were curved into a smile.

“Careful,” You found yourself whispering, “we wouldn't want you tipping out of the boat.”

Baizhu found himself repeating the words “that would be unfortunate” to himself a couple times, whispering under his breath, but he was too close for you not to hear. To pick up every intonation, every word soaked in his thick accent you still haven't placed yet, having only heard it from him.

“So, um…”

Before you could say anything else, you heard a loud bang echoing in your ears. It made your head snap to the direction it came from, the harbor alight with sparks of purple raining down. Glittering as each colorful drop fell and dated as if it never existed in the first place.

“I believe the show has begun,” Baizhu whispered to you as he pulled back, moving to the lantern he began to pick up. Gentle hands, careful as always, even with paper, lifted it up just as a plethora of other lanterns filled the sky.

An array of shapes, of wishes whispered to them in hushed tones as hands let go of the paper constructs, trusting them to take care of their dreams as they took flight. Rising into the air as they dotted the sky. Reflecting off the water where you swam under their light, glowing with them.

Baizhu sat in the boat, eyes following you as you watched in wonder even as Changsheng said something in his ear. Right now, you couldn't bring yourself to care enough to pick up the words. Not as, for a hint of a moment, you truly thought this place looked like the depths of Enkanomiya.

The lone star once again in a sea of brilliance.

Baizhu found himself sitting back, letting the snake inch herself back up his arm and around his neck as he watched the mermaid, you, finally looking truly at peace since the first time he met you.

No fear, no hostility, no tears in your eyes. Simply being.

“Are you planning to give the fish girl over there the good luck tassel you made?” He heard Changsheng ask, the hiss in her voice as familiar as breathing despite the fact he suddenly felt short of air.

It wasn't a need to cough that was plaguing him, no need to pull out a handkerchief that always gets stained with blood after a use or two, but the sudden lack of oxygen willing to fill his lungs as you stole it from him.

All from simply looking just so…happy.

“Later.” Baizhu finally found himself telling her. “For now, let's just enjoy the moment.”

That night he found his hand running over the red string in his hands, the knot he made with ease, practiced fingers having pulled each knot into perfection, suddenly made his heart hammer away in his chest.

Changsheng's teasing wouldn't stop, not ever since he said goodbye by pressing a kiss to your cheek right before you dipped back under the water, but somehow he didn't mind even as his ears burned.

He couldn't help but wonder as he stood there with the knot in hand, moonbeams peeking through the windows in a way that had him wishing to see the glow of your tail once again, how selfish could he possibly be as Baizhu confessed how he wanted to be your newfound home.

The thought was only cut short as another cough wracked his body.

Only the moon could know what lay in his heart.

The very moon you were staring up at now as your mind wandered back to the kiss Baizhu had graced you with. So soft, so gentle. It had your hands wading in the waves, just trying to discard the thought enough to cool your heated face.

Somehow the cold water wasn't enough to do the job for you as you dove back to your shelter.

What was with him, anyway, you thought to yourself as your webbed fingers once again picked up that tin he had laid out for you so long ago. It didn't shine now, not like it did in the blinding light that hung in the sky, but it was eye-catching nonetheless.

And it wasn't because it was another treasure in your collection.

“Maybe I can…see him tomorrow.”

There hadn't been any plans to, but surely it wouldn't be too hard to catch his attention. All the clean up from the festival would surely mean the city streets would be filled with a hustle and bustle that would capture your eyes as people groaned about needing to work once more, but that would mean…

It would be risky getting near the surface again, what with those fishing lines, but the idea of peaking your head out long enough to spot the healer on one of his daily walks had you clutching the tin to your chest.

Scales glowing against the scratched metal as you recalled the taste of sakura blossom cakes Baizhu had gifted you weeks ago on your tongue even as salt tainted the subtle tang of flowers.

You found yourself cursing the same salt water as you spit it out of your mouth when you were peaking at the harbor. Eyes watching the ever busy foot traffic as you ducked behind the tall statues that seemed to welcome every ship that came to Liyue. Calling out a silent hello as sailors docked and joined the fray of endless heads looking around the (as Baizhu told you) golden city.

An endless sea of browns, blacks, two heads of blue as you swore one of them almost pushed the other into the water, and lastly a distinct green you could never mistake for someone else.

Not when it was the color of seaweed in the shining light of day.

Plus, a little snake wrapped around the person's neck helped too.

Baizhu.

The boat rocked for a moment, sending ripples along the water as you leaned forward a bit more to get a peak at him, only to dart back just as quickly. Hiding away behind the beams of wood that kept you covered. Well, mostly. Your tail could only hide so well in the shadows even on an otherwise overcast day.

Okay, maybe you were being a bit stalkerish.

Looking up at the sky you took in the gray clouds, like those plastic bags that littered the sea you had fished out time and time again only to throw at a random sailors head after you had gathered enough of them to curl up into a ball. The fact they always cursed after, looking around in confusion, only added to your amusement.

A small smile took over your face at the thought, even as your heart seemed to be grasped between your own webbed fingers. Worry gnawing at the muscle that had served you so well throughout all these years.

Since when did Baizhu make you feel just as- if not more- nervous than spotting the vishaps roaming about in the water back home?

He had just been roaming about the market, those black shoes you had to fish from the ocean (more than once as the waves captured them and dragged them off as high tide came in) beating against the wooden docks you have more experience hiding under than you care to admit, and eyes scanning about the endless stalls. That was normal. You had seen him just like that during all your trips to the harbor as you poked around and filched from stray boats.

Not that you'd ever admit to that last part if asked.

Daring another glance, you looked out from behind the boat, eyes immediately finding your target.

He seemed paler than yesterday, even without the moon casting her gentle glow down on you both. Silver would grace the ocean as her reflection would be cupped between Baizhu's wet hands….but now…

Maybe you should leave.

He always got so defensive when you caught Baizhu looking even the slightest bit off. Especially on that day, you had wiped powder from his skin, and Baizhu's expression screamed for you to not mention how you could see he was falling apart under your grasp. So fragile for a creature made to stand the trails the land had to offer.

You bit back your need to call for him, to try and capture Baizhu’s attention when all it would do was out that a mermaid truly has been lurking in Liyue's waters.

Even as you saw him leaning against a cane in his hand. Clutching onto it with white knuckles. Changsheng clearly said something to him as her mouth moved.

This was wrong.

Something was off.

And you wanted to curse even the black ocean that had birthed you as you turned your back to the sight.

You would see him in a few days on that same beach you two always found yourself at anyway. Baizhu would smile, take your hand in his like your claws didn't bother him at all, and he'd lie about why he hasn't been around, and maybe then you'd have the courage to actually make him answer you when you ask about it.

For now, though, you heard a loud splash as you dove under the water.

Tail flicking as you avoided the fishing lines, just like a spider's web, as their strings collect the dew of a fresh morning.

….

A splash?

You had sworn you were careful, not wanting to risk one of the sailors atop the deck running over to cast their gaze past the helm of the ship to land right on your and your black tail.

Turning around you could swear the salt, the very same ever present feeling that had taken your gills ages to get used to after you had scratched at them for hours each night before finally settling down, suddenly washed away.

It didn't linger on your tongue. It didn't sting your eyes. It didn't even tease at your fins mockingly as you saw a bright green in the water.

Just like algae.

Just like seaweed.

Bubbles erupted from your mouth as his name fell from your lips, voice muffled by the very thing you breathed even as you screamed it.

If this was above the surface, that single word would surely have echoed throughout the mountains that seemed to cage Liyue. A battlement for a nation that seemed to welcome any through the waters you were now cursing as you couldn't seem to swim through them fast enough.

You could still see his hair, that braid you had done and undone time and time again even as Changsheng called your work sloppy, filling your vision.

Floating in the water just like the gray and brown fur of a hilichurl as you and the others all watched it fall from the cliffs up above and slowly sink.

Sink.

Sink.

And sink.

Their mask falling off as the waves wash it away, leaving a grotesque face to be unveiled as everything in their lungs turns to bubbles escaping what you could only assume was their mouths.

At times, you would reach out when no one else was around to witness the scene, and your hand should outstretch just as they were now to grab the mask in curiosity.

Eyes taking in the creature below you as they blinked up at you and you were left without an idea of what to do as it joined the countless corpses that would later become food for the creatures along the ocean floor that feasted on flesh.

Not even the glow of bioluminescent plants had brought light back to their expression as they stopped moving and welcomed the water into their lungs.

Back then you had turned away from them, swam away before another could pass by and ask what you were doing, but now you were stuck with your hand outstretched in pure desperation.

Your fingers wrap around his neck, cradling it as gently as you can even as you swore you caught a glimpse of red dancing in the water before it faded away, joining everything else as you pulled Baizhu close.

And your lips fell on his.

Your last thought was the story you had been told as you breathed water into his lungs.

A little mermaid had fallen for a human. Her eyes always looked at him in wonder and curiosity, for she wished to know all he had to offer. His voice so she may listen to it all day, his hand so she may cradle it in her own, his eyes so she may gaze into them, and lastly: his heart so she may know what it's like to have one that beats with warmth rather than the cold that filled her own veins.

He was everything to her.

A sun that walked on land rather than the clouds above.

He was no angel, but to the mermaid he might as well have been.

She had met him once, and only once, in the midst of the sea as a ship as big as the smallest whale you've seen treaded through the waves. Split the ocean like a knife to fish, with ease. As it did, the mermaid down below looked up, eyes drawn to what was casting a shadow over her form even as all the creatures around her swam away in fright.

You see, she was the only one who swam to it, rather than away.

The little mermaid grabbed onto the ship, hoisted herself up so she could peek her head out and spot everyone aboard as they moved about. Some people said things she couldn't understand (complicated human speech and their idioms), some sang, and one danced along the wooden planks even as they creaked in protest.

That one, that human, is who captured her eye.

His smile was like no others, his beauty incomparable to even the shiniest of pearls, and his eyes brighter than the very waters she lived in.

She fell in love with the human right then and there.

Holding onto the ship, the mermaid let herself sit and watch even as the day passed, and she could have sworn the night came, but instead, it was only the clouds coming in. Did that matter to her? No, not when her sun was right before her eyes.

The little mermaid only noticed when the people aboard started yelling at each other as the rain came in and the clapping of thunder could be heard. Booming across the sky.

A storm had rolled in.

It tossed the ship over the waves and threw everything back and forth until finally it collided into a rock with the same boom the thunder sang.

The little mermaid was tossed aside, left to drift in the water along with the other men that had once been aboard. Pieces of wood floated around her along with barrels, a chest or two, and the cloth that had been billowing in the wind, pushing the ship along. Like this, it was no longer pure white as it was tainted with the very thing filling her lungs.

Filling everyone's lungs.

Frantically the little mermaid looked around, scanning over the people around her who were clinging on to whatever they could, as she tried to spot the human she had watched the past few hours that seemed to drift by her like a dream.

In the storm, she had barely noticed his hand slipping under the water as the human lost his grip to the piece of driftwood he clung to.

So she saved him. The only way a mermaid knew how. Her lips fell to her sun's as scales tickled at his legs, transforming them to something else. To something familiar to only her and her kind.

For she had made him just like her.

Golden sand was coarse under Baizhu's hands and cheek, caking at his skin like a second layer of skin. A molt, just like Changsheng's, as she wiggled out of the shedding scraps of scales. He had helped her time and time again free herself of it as she hissed in annoyance, even as it found its ways under his nails. Later on, Baizhu would clean it out, just like he would with the sand, but for now, that was his last concern as his head groggily put itself together.

There was a haze to his mind, like it was trying to drag him down into the Abyss itself, but that barely mattered as water popped in his ears, and the sound of wailing finally hit him.

Cries.

The same wavering cry he had listened to as he held a mermaid in his lap and let her cling onto him for dear life. Just like back then hearing that noise had Baizhu aching to fix what was plaguing her, but he knew he couldn't make it alright.

But maybe now….

With a groan, Baizhu's hand moved against the sand, even as it felt wrong against his hand, almost overwhelming in a way as he reached out. Hand wrapping around another's with webbed fingers he had long since gotten used to.

“B-Bai?” Her croaked voice rang out.

He wanted to say “I'm right here, so cry all you need” but the words didn't seem to escape Baizhu's mouth. Halting on his tongue like he was choking on air of all things. Clearly, he was parched, but Baizhu pushed through it anyway the moment he could feel her clinging onto him back. Fingers wrapping around his own outstretched hand.

“What happened?”

Without missing a beat she immediately replied: “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't-”

Baizhu couldn't even get a word out as she sobbed how she didn't know what to do.

“I- there was nothing else- I couldn't…Baizhu…”

Opening his eyes hurt as the light of day suddenly blinded him, causing Baizhu to scrunch his nose up as he tried to adjust once again to the otherwise gray and overcast day. In the sand, his glasses laid next to a familiar white skin, Changsheng nestled up on herself as she shivered away, just barely keeping herself warm.

“Shhh…” Baizhu's hand brushed her hair out of her face, still wet from the water when she…

Actually, he couldn't remember how he got here. Not clearly, anyway.

Wasn't he on the docks before? Cane in hand as he tried not to lean on it too much to make it obvious he had been struggling. Changsheng whispering in his ear about how stupid Baizhu was for daring to think he could handle going out, for pushing himself any further despite coughing up blood that very morning, was the last thing he could recall clearly.

Everything else seemed to be drowned out.

“Dear?” Baizhu asked.

For a moment, he couldn't help but smile as she looked up at him, seafoam spilling from her eyes he easily wiped away. Somehow, the feeling of the suds like bubbles didn't feel so unnatural to him this time.

“What's wrong?”

“I didn't- I didn't know what else to do. The others never taught me. I wasn't even sure this would work…”

“I am sure you did what you could.”

“Please, don't be mad.” She pleaded with him.

“How could I ever be mad at you? When I want to be your hom-”

He wasn't given a chance to reassure her any further as his glasses were slid right onto his face, the metal legs usually a stinging cool after he hadn't worn them for so long barely even phased him now.

Her wide eyes looked up at him, the same ones made to be attuned to the dark that looked so beautiful in the light of day, and her hand was wrapped around his.

But all he could focus on was the scales he could now make out with a clear vision marring his skin.

…Why had she been apologizing so much?

Baizhu's fingers twitched against her hold, double checking those scales weren't just her own despite the fact the color of them was far from the inky black he had grown to associate the mermaid with. No, they were like the color of clearwater jade. They were his.

“I'm sorry.” She whispered to him one last time, but Baizhu barely heard the words as his eyes flicked down to take in the sight of where his legs were supposed to be, now replaced with a long tail and flowing fins.

Baizhu mumbled her name, and she looked up at him with frightened eyes. Eyebrows pinched together like she was just waiting for some type of reaction that would have her jumping into the water and swimming away. He could even see her tail twitching.

“It's not reversible.” She admitted.

That was enough to have his hand dropping from hers as questions filled his mind.

What about Qiqi who was waiting for him back home?

What about the pharmacy he had dedicated so much of himself to?

What about- his eyes flicked to Changsheng, still curled up and shivering in the sand, cold blooded just like he was. (At least now he was). What about her?

“Baizhu?” His dear asked, and he couldn't even find it in himself to respond as he simply stared down at the one he had promised to save all those years ago.

‘It's not reversible’ ran through his mind again.

This time, he couldn't find the energy to wipe away the seafoam clinging to the mermaid's eyes as she whispered his name, and he stared back at her in horror.

[jnmoreau]

GUYS i'm reading canis the speaker and these three are so kerejean in another universe coded. i'm feeling unwell thinking about them

Jean as Nabu??? Kevin as Sam?? Jeremy as Hal???

[theupsideofyou]

I’m adding this to my fic rec list but i fear this fic needed a post of its own. Please please please read this fic it is actually perfection!!

Explicit 36k

[sanghost]

Hi 👋, My name is Mohammad, and I’m reaching out in a moment of desperate need. I’m a father of three young children living in Gaza, and we are caught in the midst of a catastrophic war. Our home is no longer a safe haven, and the future here seems increasingly uncertain. 💔

I’ve launched a fundraising campaign with the goal of raising $40,000 to relocate my family to a safer place where my children can grow up in peace and have a chance at a brighter future.

Unfortunately, my previous fundraising efforts were abruptly halted when my account was terminated without explanation. However, I remain determined to keep fighting for my family’s safety and well-being. 🫶

If you could take a moment to read our story, consider donating, or simply share our campaign with others, it would make an incredible difference. Every act of kindness, no matter how small, brings us one step closer to safety and a new beginning. 🙏

Thank you for your time, compassion, and support. ❤️‍🩹

https://gofund.me/fd1faea2 🔗

hey sweet strangers on the internet please take a moments to read this and donate if you’re able to - they’re so close to their goal!!

mohammad, i’m so sorry that you and your family are experiencing this awful genocide firsthand. you all deserve to live peaceful lives. i pray one day you will hear birds instead of drones again. please stay safe🩵

[hugs4jd]

Omg omg what about some scenario or headcanons like Ik it’s pretty much not hard to make him jealous he’s already that just because someone looked at you. But imagine you two had a date planned and you waited at the location where you both agreed to meet up and then some guy just comes up to us while we waiting for Jason and starts flirting w us and trying to get our number while we clearly not interested.😭😭 tyyyyy💕

trapped

As you sat on the steps outside 7/11, you looked around and took in the sights and sounds of the busy city. The neon lights from the convenience store sign flickered on and off, illuminating the sketchy spot where you and JD had chosen to meet. You tried not to get annoyed at how fashionably late JD was, but you couldn't help feeling a little impatient as you waited for him to arrive.

Suddenly, a sleazy voice rang out from behind you, causing you to jump. "Hey, pretty girl," the voice said as a man sat down next to you on the steps. "Why are you out here all alone~?"

The man sat beside you and you were taken aback by his unsettling gaze. He seemed harmless enough, but there was something about him that made your skin crawl. "I'm waiting for my boyfriend," you said, trying to sound confident.

“He should be here any second," you added, hoping to end the conversation quickly.

“well, if you ever want to talk to a man who won’t be late then you can call me” he suddenly grabbed your hand, pulling out a pen to write his number on your palm

“what are you-“ you try to pull your hand away, fight or flight kicking in as he tightens his grip on your wrist, making you feel trapped.

That's when it happened. The man suddenly fell forward, tumbling down the stairs. You heard a sickening thud as his head hit the pavement. You looked up to see JD standing behind you, his fists clenched at his sides. The man stood up quickly, blood running down his chin as he looked past you, his gaze fixed on JD.

You collapsed into JD's arms, feeling grateful and relieved to see him. "Are you alright?" he asked, holding one hand on your head as you buried your face in his chest. “your wrist-“ he gently grabs at your hand, examining your red, aching wrist

“Oh, yeah- he kind of grabbed me” JD’s expression quickly changed, glaring down the stairs at the puddle of blood, realizing the man had ran away

“i’ll find him” JD mutters under his breath, you tried to protest, but you knew it was pointless. JD had his own way of dealing with things, and you didn't want to stand in his way.

[akdjsjjw]

If you haven’t read “feels like we only go backwards” by oldpotatoe on ao3

Do I envy you. I wish I could read that thing for the first time again. How did I miss this craze in 2020. This is the best thing I’ve ever read.

Perhaps I will draw something from it bc Oml.

Edit: GUYS WHAT WAS CHAPTER 19 IM CRYING IM DYING IM RIPPING MY HEART OUT.

also how did no one catch the marvel reference at the end.

Edit numero dos: My therapist will be hearing about the events in Chapter 23. WHAT. LIKE. WHAT. LIKE WHAT THE ATCUAL. LIKE.

[padf0ots-pancakes]

yall i just planned a thirty chapter marauders zombie apocalypse au lets pray i dont lose motivation

[scooburst]

Ok so this isn’t a normal post at all

But

I don’t think screentime limits should exist

Now I know I sound like a teenager who wants to spend all day on their phone, but I actually have reasons

1. Work

As kids get older, they get apps such as Remind or just log into their email for easier access. Then their job or school club can reach them easier and they’ll see it. But imagine if that gets sent when they’re limit is on. They may never see it.

2. Responsibilities

Most of the time screen time is considered a helper in managing screen time and teaching a kid to be responsible, but I disagree. If a kid instead now tries to learn the code and hope their parents approve a request, when they’re older they’ll see “no limit” and be up all night with it. Instead, what should be done is just plain teaching a kid how to limit themselves instead of forcing it and making them only want it more.

3. Disconnected

This one is from experience. Without access to be able to see what their friends are up to all the time or share their own experiences when they want too, it can cause a feeling of disassociation and confusion, which can lead to drastic measures from self harm to full on suicide. It may sound fake, but it’s true.

4. Mental health issues

Having this kind of disconnected feeing or being cut off so quickly can lead to many mental health issues, namely depression. This then impacts their social life, mental state, schoolwork, etc

5. Strained relationships

Without the ability to contact friends when they need to and that disconnection, the child may quickly lose friends and cut themselves off as a response. Along with this, their relationship with their family can get worse. They’ll blame their parents for this problem and growing up may go no contact or run away just to escape.

So whole many claim screen time limits are good for kids and will teach them time management, it won’t. It will lead to mental health issues and strained relationships.

If you need more, I looked at my friends without screen time limits phone usage and it was significantly less then those with limits. The ones with wanted to get it out of the way quickly so they didn’t worry about forgetting to do something after their limit is on. As for the ones without, they weren’t worried about not getting to say something since they would always have a chance.

[shallyne]

My ACOTAR OC kids

Yesterday I asked if y'all wanted to read a fic with my OC's and someone voted no so I got demotivated but I may introduce you to all my babies

We start with Feysands kids!

Nyx

I count him as an OC because he's just a baby in the series!!

He/Him - Pansexual

Aries

First born and oldest Feysand child

Partner: Alara Cai

inherits Feyre's painting talents

has insomnia

He can play the guitar

Spends a year abroad

Works in Feyre's Studio

Best friends with Carl

Feyre's nickname for him is little star

Scared of Jelly (Nemesis' snake)

Tallest sibling

- Canon Universe (opposed to Modern Universe):

Prefers water powers

Nemesis

She/Her - Lesbian

Leo

Second born and third oldest of the siblings

Partner: Eirene

Dancer (Ballet)

Scared of thunderstorms (only Nyx can calm her down)

Hates physical contact

Dropped out of college

Always hungry

Shares clothes with Feyre

Has two pets

Jelly (snake)

Kronos (blind cat)

Best friends with Bragi

Feyre's nickname for her is little whirlwind

- Canon Universe:

future High Lady of the Night Court

prefers her fire powers

Bragi

They/Them - Non Binary

Libra

Last born and youngest of the siblings

Partner: Aiden Cai (only in Modern Universe)

Loves reading and writing poetry

Loves traveling

voluntarily visited a voaeding school

Plays the piano

Obsessed with Taylor Swift

Light/Dark Academia aesthetic

Very intelligent

Friends with Briar and Nemesis

Feyre's nickname for them is little shooting star

Probably on the spectrum

They aren't attached to their hair, they change it like they want it

- Canon Universe:

Born in the day court

has daemati powers, finds out through an accident and refuses to master them

Carl

He/Him - Straight

Cancer

Adopted and second oldest child of Feysand

Partner: Meadow

His mother died when he was six

Spent two years in an orphanage

Got adopted by Feysand at 8 years old after befriensing Nyx on the playground and becoming an inseparable duo

Best friends with Nyx

Friends with Meadow before officially getting into a relationship

Loves dragons

Confused but got the spirit

Clumsy

Has midnight zoomies

Secretely ripped under baggy clothes

Feysand purchased his mothers house when Carl was younger and gifted it to him when he was 18

Feyre's nickname for him is little sunshine

He wanted to be a vet but didn't pass his exams, now he works in an animal shelter

That was it for Feysand kids! Now we continue with the Elriel kids

Briar

She/her

Virgo

Oldest and first born child of Elriel

Straight-A student

Popular but nice

Introverted

Friends with the Feysand kids

Always studying, often with her cousin Bragi

Swimmer

Feyre is her favorite Aunt

Daisy

She/Her

Youngest and last born child of Elriel

Ice Skater

Big age gap between her and Briar, born after Feysand's first grandchild was born

That was it for Elriel, now for the partners of the Feysand kids!

Alara

She/Her - Straight

Taurus

Youngest and last born child of the Cai children

Partner: Nyx

Has three brothers who are protective of her

Nurse

Emotionally and verbally abused by her father

Mother was absent

Loves Cooking

Loves Nail art

Friends with Nemesis Archeron, Evalin Whitethorn Galathynius and Trinity Blackbeak-Havilliard

Plus size

Can sing very well but rarely does

Has a pet (together with Nyx)

A chihuahua named Baby

- Canon Universe:

Alara is a mortal born with healing powers

Her brothers send a letter to the Hugh Lord of Dawn to take Alara in to train her powers and get her away from the father, Feyre volunteers to take her in and train her

Falls in love with Fae Nyx

Dies of old age

Eirene

She/Her - Lesbian

Capricorn

Only Child

Partner: Nemesis

Born in Korea

Abandoned in a subway as a baby

Living with her dads in Australia, later in life moving to Velaris

Plays soccer

Has pink hair

Has a pet

A ferret named Popcorn

- Canon Universe:

is a lesser faerie

First lesser faerie to get into an official soccer team

Her pink hair is natural

Meadow

She/Her - unlabeled

Gemini

Only Child

Partner: Carl

Free spirit

Her real name is Rena, she chose Meadow for herself

Loves and lives in nature

Very into yoga

Mostly vegan but doesn't label herself

Has a pet

A pitbull named Mars

Aiden

He/Him

Partner: Bragi

Youngest brother and third born of the Cai children

Musician

(Fun) Facts

Rhys gives Nemesis his sister's old clothes, so they have a purpose again

Nemesis looks like a copy of Feyre, only that Nemesis has Rhys's violet eyes. Rhys realized when Nemesis got the same bangs that Feyre had as a teenager because they almost looked the same

Carl finds it extremely easy to get used to Meadows lifestyle

Nyx finds his mate a century after Alara's death but rejects the bond because he's still mourning his wife

Every birth story correlates to the fears and personalities of the biological Feysand kids

Feyre died during Nyx's birth and Nyx is extremely clingy to her

Nemesis was born during a very bad thunderstorm and is extremely scared of them

Bragi was born in the day court (the court with all the libraries, a whole other court) and loves traveling and reading. As a baby, Rhys and Feyre had to fly around with them when they got moody, because they just needed to be outside

Nemesis could have graduated college with great grades but she quickly found out that college for her and dropped out

Bragi and Aiden started getting to know each other when they argued about the best Taylor Swift songs during Nyx and Alara's wedding

Bragi was in a toxic relationship before, in the Canon universe she never dates anyone after that. In the Modern Universe, it takes almost a decade until Aiden and Bragi realize they are in love

Rhys didn't want to adopt Kronos first, later he became a cat dad and spoiled Kronos rotten, like the princess she is

Nyx and Alara's child is named Oizys

After Bragi's birth there was a rumor that Azriel was the real father because they have hazel eyes and a personality more fitting to Azriel's. Ofc they are Rhys's childs and tjey just inherited his mother's eye color

[sleepysnk]

hey guys, i wanted to come on here and talk about a pretty big shift in my account. i suggest you guys read!

i’ve decided that i will be going on an indefinite hiatus.

with everything going on tumblr and my personal life, i found that i don’t really have as much time as i used to be on here anymore. tumblr has also changed a lot since i joined and i just don’t feel happy on this account. it’s really sad, but it’s just a result of many factors that have been occurring for months now.

i’d like to thank you all for the endless love you have sent me over the past 3 years. you all genuinely have brought a lot of happiness into my life and i honestly have met some of the sweetest people while being here. you guys are all so loved and i appreciate every ask, comment, etc. it really makes me sad to leave, but i know it’s best for me and i hope you all can respect that.

i will not be deactivating this blog. it has way too many stories on it for me to even think about that, so my account will remain up but there will be no new content or anything of that sort. i will still be around occasionally, but i probably will log out at some point.

to all my mutuals, THANK YOU!! i have met some of the greatest people on here and you guys are so so awesome. i wish you all the best of luck and i love you all so much!! :) i couldn’t have done this without you guys and your support.

again, thank you all for everything. you’re all so amazing and wonderful and i am sending all of my love to you all.

– summer :)