#(please let me one day be confident in how to spell 'righteous')

[youknowwobbles]

Righteous Gemstones Season 3 trailer is out and they did this one for me

[etherealcheol-mp3]

Gotcha || knj

pairing: kim namjoon x reader

genre: fluff, slight angst, coffee shop/ bakery!au, e2l, neighbors!au, non-idol!au

warnings: none really, slow burn, enemies to lovers, mentions of death/ fire, mentions of panic attacks, hints towards sexual themes, pranks played against one another constantly, b a n t e r

words: 20.3K (it’s a monster, i’m so sorry)

summary: rival shops aren’t the worst things in life, but maybe their owners are. after a less than ideal first meeting, y/n swears kim namjoon off as their mortal enemy. this is tolerable, bearable even. nobody said they had to step foot in each other's shops, but what happens when the vacant apartment in their building gets filled with a noisy neighbor with constant….guests. and what happens when said neighbor is revealed to be none other than kim namjoon? prank wars and lots of meddling from best friends.

A/N: this story was originally posted on my instagram @/constellationkookie and my wattpad @/hoodftarreaga. this was also originally written for Calum Hood but I’m bts trash now and have no regrets:) -toro

 I’ve never had a constant variable in my life. Moving around as a kid and changing schools happens to have that effect on a person. You learn not to expect too much from a friendship that you try to make work over texts and slowly dwindling phone calls and you begin to search for things in life that can become constants in some way or another. My form of constant was as simple as flour, sugar, eggs, and butter. The basic, core ingredients to any baked good. No matter where I moved or who I did or didn’t talk to, I had baking. All I needed was flour, sugar, eggs, and butter and I was whisked away to the safety of my kitchen where I didn’t have to deal with the chaos surrounding me in the outside world.

I didn’t need a boyfriend, best friend, or school club like everyone else. I didn’t need anything that would ground me into my surroundings since it would only make leaving that much harder. However, sometimes certain people try their hardest to latch onto you and gain your trust. They make you feel comfortable and allow you to open up and be vulnerable around them. I was twenty years old and living in Seoul with this certain person who just so happened to be my first and only best friend, Mal. She stood by my side through thick and thin and supported me to follow my dreams and do what I never thought was possible: open up my own bakery. It was hard at first and very stressful, but the end result was well worth the sleepless nights and crying fits.

Sunrise Bakery was my pride and joy and very successful. The name was Mal’s idea as she saw ‘the sun was rising on the start of my new life’. Seven months in, everything was going great, but then slowly my regulars began to not be so regular. ‘Friends’ turned into strangers and it seemed like everyone in the city forgot. I tried just about everything in the books from sales to new recipes but nothing kept them back for long. It wasn’t until I heard about a new coffee shop in town that I started to get worried. The Hideout Cafe was new in town and conveniently just down the street from my bakery. 

“Are you still plotting,'' Mal called from behind me. I turned my attention to her and furrowed my brow. “I’m not plotting anything,” I stated defensively and started rolling out the previously abandoned dough on the counter.

Mal snorts and rolls her eyes playfully before taking a sip out of her coffee cup, I hadn’t noticed it before. “Sure because staring out your window to try and see what's going on in there isn’t creepy at all.” I ignore her comment and look at the sleeve on her coffee cup before realizing which logo was on it.

“You went there? And actually ordered something?” I say incredulously. Her eyes widen slightly before sighing and slumping her shoulders. 

“I’m sorry but their latte is amazing! I seriously don’t know how they do it like it’s insane. I know you have some personal vendetta against them but just check it out one time and you’ll see how stupid it is. Customers aren’t going to stop coming permanently to a bakery because of a coffee shop.” I tried to ignore her and go to the back of the shop but she gently grabbed my wrist and stopped me in my tracks. 

“Come on, Y/N, you’ve been working since you opened and it’s time for a break. Please? For me?” I huffed before finally looking over at her and giving in. She silently cheered as I untied my apron and turned the open sign before locking up. We headed down the street and stopped in front of the shiny, new Hideout Cafe. Walking inside felt wrong but also relieving as the shop took over my senses. The warm air inside tickled my face, cold from the winter breeze outside. The clatter of cutlery accompanying the scent of coffee beans and light chatter of patrons soothed my senses in an instant. 

I followed Mal to the register and looked up at the seemingly endless menu posted on the wall. It was written in varying colors of chalk along with the seamless flow of script font that spelled out “Today’s Specials”. Mal pushed me forward and my eyes met the face of a boy around my age. He looked slightly amused and had a brow ever so lightly quirked up as he looked at my most likely flustered state. I opened my mouth but no sounds came out.

“First time?” The barista let out in his low voice. I shakily nodded my head before averting my gaze elsewhere. “Can I have a name for the order?” The barista started tapping on the screen in front of him. “Uh, Y/N. Just checking out the competition” I suddenly spoke, effectively shocking myself and him. He furrowed his brow before smiling almost smugly. I thought I saw a hint of a dimple but my attention was drawn elsewhere as he spoke again. 

“Oh, you must work at that dumb little bakery down the road. What is it? Moonlight or something?” I scoffed at his words and felt anger rush through my veins. “I happen to own that very successful bakery. And it’s Sunrise.” I spoke confidently.

“It’s irrelevant. It’ll probably be shut down in three months max at the rate of our shop. But hey it’s nice of you to add to the steady demise of your own bakery by buying something from us. What would you like? Pumpkin spice latte?” He spoke with such ease it infuriated me to no end. 

I turned away from the register to find Mal and leave as soon as possible. I knew coming here was a horrible idea and the sooner I left the better. I found Mal standing by the area to pick up drinks ‘talking’ to another male barista. I walked up next to her and waited for her to look at me but it seemed the only things on her mind were the warm eyes and cocky smirk adorned by plush lips on the other side of the counter. I cleared my throat and stepped closer to her and gained her attention only to lose it two seconds later as she turned back to the boy and introduced me to him.

“This is Y/N, it’s her first time here.” She spoke sweetly and I tried not to gag but the instinct was harder to resist as the barista from before walked up with a drink in hand with a smirk on his face. “Pumpkin spice latte for Y/N. Don’t worry, it’s on the house.” He winked at me before walking away and I scowled at his retreating figure. The barista with warm eyes laughed lightly before speaking, “Well it seems you made friends with our owner, Namjoon.”

Namjoon. Namjoon...blank. I don’t know much about him but I know the important things. He’s the owner of the Hideout Cafe. The self-righteous asshole who took it upon himself to spite me by not only making a basic drink that I will never admit to drinking half of, but also by misspelling my name. As soon as I noticed the lazy scrawl on the side of the cup with a lopsided smiley face next to it, I texted the photographic evidence to Mal and promptly trashed the drink.

I felt a heavy weight on my chest for the rest of the day and couldn’t seem to keep the scowl off my face as I suspiciously looked down the street. I tried to ignore the cocky smirk and the harsh words from earlier by rolling out dough and frosting cupcakes but something about the situation just didn’t sit right with me. Before I could overanalyze or create more conspiracy theories to add to my growing list (42 currently reside on this list and they all seem somewhat plausible) closing time for the bakery came and I started to clean up before walking home. 

My eyes felt droopy as I leaned against the elevator wall. The steady motion was quickly luring me to sleep but I forced my head to face forward as the doors opened and my bed became that much closer. I fumbled with my keys a bit before dropping them on the floor in front of my apartment. I grumbled out a curse before successfully entering and falling into bed after changing my flour ridden clothes. I fell asleep almost instantly and waited to be awoken by the sun through my blinds.

Except that’s not what happened. I awoke at 3:04 am to a loud blaring and lights flashing in my room. I groggily sat up before realizing what was happening. The fire alarm. My eyes widened and I jumped from my bed, grabbing my phone and the first pair of shoes I saw before bolting to my front door. I turned to my left to run to the stairway when I collided with a firm blur and stumbled backward. My vision was still slightly spinning before I heard the voice start to apologize. 

“Ah, shit. Sorry I didn’t see where I was going. I just moved in here and don’t know where to go.” That voice. The voice I had on repeat all afternoon after I left his shop. The voice of Namjoon. Namjoon Last-name.

I opened my eyes and saw him sleepily staring back at me before his ever-present smirk took over his face again. I groaned and threw my head back, begging the universe to tell me this was a joke but the semi hoarse laughter in front of me proved otherwise. 

“Nice slippers, Moonlight” I looked down and saw my fuzzy mermaid slippers on my feet. I let out a huff as I looked at him again before seeing it. His body was completely bare except for the black boxers and single sock on his right foot. My throat dried up and my eyes widened at the sight. I shook my head as the current situation sunk back in. Fire alarm, fire, danger, get to the stairs, get to safety. I ran past him to the stairway and didn’t look back. I couldn’t get stuck up there, I can’t. Visions of thick, black smoke and watery eyes flashed in my mind and my breathing picked up speed. Don’t think, just run.

I found my way to the ground floor and was greeted by a hoard of grumpy, tired people in pajamas crowding the entrance. I tried to squeeze my way through to the exit but as soon as I reached it a hand grabbed my wrist and I yelped before trying to pull my hand free. The hand let go almost instantly and I fearfully looked up only to see Namjoon again looking at me confused. I turned my head away from him and held my wrist close to my chest. 

“Woah, no need to freak out. It was a false alarm but I saw you running for the exit and wanted to stop you.” I dropped my arms and looked at him before seeing the hint of concern lacing his features. I chose to ignore it and said what I had first thought when I saw him in my hallway. 

“Why are you here and why are you naked?” The monotone delivery caught him off guard as his eyebrows raised and he chuckled at me. Those damn dimples proudly being displayed. “You must not have heard me earlier. I just moved in and it’s three in the morning so I was sleeping. This is how I sleep, well except for the boxers anyways.” He smirked again and I tried my hardest to not slap it off his face. I chose to roll my eyes instead and questioned him further.

“What apartment are you?” He had a devious glint in his eyes and I knew what he was thinking. “I’m not asking for that. You were in my hall so I want to know which door to avoid.” He squinted his eyes at me but the boyish grin on his face stayed. He looked me up and down and I crossed my arms over my chest, blushing at the intensity of his gaze. “5B.” He finally stated and I groaned in defeat at his answer. Of course, he lived there. 5B had been vacant for as long as I had lived in this building and I always hoped it would stay that way. “Well what about you,” he started,”which apartment is yours?” I brushed past him and walked to the elevator. The lobby had significantly cleared out since I got there and I decided I would rather sleep than talk to Namjoon Insert-Name-Here. 

The doors opened and I pressed the button for the fifth floor as Namjoon walked on and stared at me. I ignored him and his piercing gaze the entire ride up but he seemed to think this through as he motioned for me to exit first when we reached our floor. “Ladies first,” he said smugly and I grumbled to myself as I walked to my apartment. The number and letter on my door seemed to be mocking me as I stopped in front of them. I heard Namjoon trying to hold back his laughter to my right as he spoke. “Oh, Moonlight, this is gonna be fun.” He opened his door and walked in, leaving me to sulk in the hallway by myself. I banged my head against the door of 5C and felt the urge to scream. Namjoon...whatever his last name was, is going to be the death of me.

I didn’t sleep much after the fire alarms blaring that night. My thoughts were racing much too fast to grant me any type of peace. In fact, I hardly slept at all the few days after that night due to Namjoon constantly having friends over and yelling or blaring music at alarming volumes all night long. I walked groggily down the street to my bakery and fumbled for the keys in my bag. I let out a stream of curses under my breath as they fell to the ground, a seemingly new trait I had developed due to no sleep, and sighed as I leaned to pick them up. I could already tell this day would not be fun.

Customers filed through the shop door and the smell of sugar filled my senses until Mal walked in for her shift clutching two coffee cups. I narrowed my eyes at her cheery smile and the two cups in her hands. “You seriously stopped by that shop again? And you bought me a drink?” I questioned incredulously. Mal playfully rolled her eyes as she walked behind the counter without a care in the world.

“I just so happened to walk in to talk to Jimin and get my regular when a certain someone handed me another on the house.” Mal wiggled her eyebrows as she slid one of the cups towards me. I furrowed my brow, “Jimin? I’ve never heard you talk about them before. And if you’re trying to be subtle and make me guess how you managed to flirt with one guy while charming another so much that he bought you a free drink, it’s not working.” Mal chuckled lightly before shaking her head and explaining.

“You do know Jimin, you two met that day we went to check out the Hideout. He asked me out when I stopped by today and after I agreed your neighbor stopped by to ask me to give you this. Have anything to share, Y/N?” She tapped the lid of the cup and based on the tone she used and the faux innocence in her wide eyes, I knew she was trying to not scream at me for not instantly telling her Namjoon was my neighbor. Or she was trying not to laugh. Laughing seemed to be all the universe was doing to me recently.

I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply “Unfortunately yes. I found out last week that we live next door to each other.” I could only grumble the words that left a bitter taste in my mouth. Namjoon always seemed to have that effect on me. The fact that he even had an effect on me made it worse. I opened my eyes to see Mal smirking at me while she continuously shifted her gaze to the cup that seemingly shifted closer to my hand resting on the counter.

I picked up the cup slowly, scared it would explode or an animal would come out and attack me at any sudden movement. I saw the messy handwriting on the side that was slowly becoming familiar and felt my blood boil at what it read. My name wasn’t too complicated but once again he had seemed to misspell it so bad that it almost had to be done on purpose. Mal was struggling to hold back her giggles and I glared at her. “You can’t seriously be that mad at him, it’s funny!” She spoke defensively. I threw my head back in defeat and groaned before starting to walk towards the kitchen. 

“But I can be because he’s a self righteous jerk who only cares about himself and doesn’t even try to be a decent human being and spell a name right. I swear, every single thing he does makes me want to scream.” I finally vented as Mal followed me. “I bet he wants to make you scream,” Mal states smugly, making me glare at her over my shoulder before she changed the subject, “So what are you gonna do about it?” She questioned me and I turned to face her with confusion etched across my face. “You keep complaining about the guy and you just let him keep getting to you. You need to annoy him back or at least let him know you’re not going down without a fight. And I’m only saying this since apparently hate sex is off the table.”

I thought for a minute and it didn’t seem like a bad idea. Better than the latter one at least. “I don’t even know what I would do. I can hardly face him without wanting to run away and yell into my pillow.” I was whining and I knew it but in my defense it was true. If I had to look at Namjoon whatever his last name was smirking at me with those dimples one more time I was going to lose it. Mal’s eyes slightly widened and her grin started to grow as I felt fear rise in me. She had an idea and it would most likely end up with injury or prison.

“You live next door to the guy. And his shop is down the road. There’s nothing wrong with a little prank to tell him to back off.” I crossed my arms and opened my mouth to protest only to close it as her words really hit me. It really wasn’t the worst idea ever. I would have to think everything through and leave no room for mistake but he had to know it was me. I had to give him the sign to back off but I couldn’t anger him too much. Luckily though Mal was already listing ideas before I could think of any on my own.

I cut her off after hearing the words ‘peanut butter’, ‘toilet paper’ and ‘hedge clipper’ by putting my hand out and laughing. “Let’s start off tame first. I can barely think straight after getting no slee-'' I suddenly stopped speaking and smiled largely. I knew what I wanted to do but I had to make sure it was perfect. 

I checked the clock on the microwave one more time as I started to get nervous. It was 4:03AM and Namjoon’s front door had closed roughly thirty minutes ago. I hadn’t heard any noise from his apartment aside from the shower and shuffling around. Suddenly I had found benefits to paper thin walls. Everything was perfect and now it was time to set my plan into motion. I loudly swung open my cabinets and turned on my bluetooth speaker as music started to fill the spaces around me. I dropped some metal pans on the floor and slammed a cookie sheet onto my counter for good measure before grabbing my ingredients. I would’ve worried about other neighbors complaining but I thankfully had an apartment on the corner of the hall. Only Namjoon would be able to hear the noise I made.

 I worked loudly and sang along to the music coming from my speakers. Soon enough the electric mixer was loudly whirring and the oven was beeping to alert me of the temperature being reached. I had just aggressively closed the oven door when I heard a harsh banging at my door. I smiled and ignored it. I had riskily left the front door unlocked and just as I had assumed, Namjoon Last Name raced into my apartment after knocking and being ignored once again. 

He walked to my kitchen and found my speaker, quickly turning it off. I didn’t even glance up at him once as he breathed heavily through his nose and stared at me. “Do you have any idea what fucking time it is?” He spoke angrily and I tried not to laugh. “Yep” I replied coolly. “What are you do- are you baking a cake? It’s 4am. Why are you baking a cake? And what’s with the party decorations?” He spoke confusedly as he looked around at the streamers and balloons decorating my apartment. “I’m celebrating the death of my sleep schedule and sanity. Want a cookie?” 

I finally looked at him and kept a straight face as his jaw hung open and his eyes narrowed. “A cookie? No I don’t want a fucking cookie. What the fuck is wrong with you?” He threw his hands up and looked at me like I was crazy. I think I probably was after almost a week of no sleep, but I kept up the act. “You sound tense. The cupcakes should be done soon, maybe they’ll help you loosen up.” Namjoon huffed and talked to me like I was a child. “I’m pissed. You can’t just fucking make all the noise in the world at 4AM and expect everyone to sleep through it and be okay with it-”

I pointed my rubber spatula at him and glared, effectively cutting him off. “Why not? It’s all you seem to do every night when you have friends over and scream at a television for four hours straight.” I stuck a finger into the frosting I was in the process of creating and put it in my mouth to suck the frosting off. “Needs more vanilla” I mumbled to myself. I still had some left on my finger and stuck out my tongue to effectively lick the rest of it off and went back to mixing. Namjoon was silent. After a minute of ignoring him I looked up, almost expecting him to be gone but there he was. His jaw was tense and his eyes slightly wide while his eyebrows almost raised to the top of his head. 

He looked away as I met his eye and grunted out a “Just keep it down okay?” Before bolting out the door and leaving me confused in my kitchen. I put some plastic wrap over my frosting and put the cupcakes onto a cooling rack before retiring to my bed for a few hours of sleep. Namjoon was on my mind though. He seemed to leave pretty quickly and I wondered if I had gone too far. Did I get him too angry? Did I cross a line with what I said? I pushed away those thoughts since I was only doing and saying what he had to me. It couldn’t be that bad. 

Could it?

I slept surprisingly well after Namjoon left. My alarm greeted me only a few, short hours later, however, I felt like I had slept for years. I took a quick shower and started to get ready for the day when I heard movement through the thin walls of my bedroom. Namjoon was awake. Namjoon. My eyes widened at the thought of him and his probable reaction to my little prank last night. My heart beat started to accelerate ever so slightly as I hurriedly finished getting ready.

I slowly opened my bedroom door and peeked my head out slowly. I turned to thoroughly inspect every hidden corner for anything Namjoon could have planted while I was sleeping but found nothing. Nevertheless I was still paranoid. I walked to my kitchen quickly and grabbed a granola bar before slipping on my shoes and heading to the door. I was ready to get to my shop and away from the close proximity of him.

I felt my phone vibrate rapidly in my pocket and groaned as I barely had enough energy and concentration to focus on getting my shoes on the right feet. I saw Mal’s name on the screen and answered quickly. I couldn’t even get a word in as she instantly greeted me with a warm “Where the hell are you?!” and I winced as I pulled the phone away from my poor ear.

“I’m leaving the apartment? Same time as usual.” I stated tiredly. Mal wasted no time as she once again responded too loudly for this hour. “You forgot what day it is, didn’t you?” I froze at her words and pulled my phone away to see the date on the screen. A bold ‘February 4th’ stared back at me and my eyes widened once again that morning. Shit.

Ever since we became friends, Mal and I had created a tradition. On the same day every year we would meet up and spend the day together doing whatever we needed at the time. Some years we went shopping for dates we had or prom dresses, others we stayed at home doing face masks and watching Queer Eye and some harder years we ate ice cream and vented about how much life sucked and how glad we were to have each other. The most important year though was when we moved out to Seoul together after graduating college and saving up money for plane tickets and moving expenses. This day was our day and it always had been, it was more important than some official holidays to us and it was today. February 4th. 

“I love you?” I tried pathetically and Mal laughed at my response, already knowing I had forgotten. Thankfully she wasn’t angry with me as she playfully replied, “You move out of our place for three months and suddenly you forget the most important day of the year.” I laughed but couldn’t help the guilt I felt weighing me down. Mal was my best friend, my rock and I wouldn’t be doing half of the things I had accomplished without her by my side. 

Seemingly reading my mind Mal spoke softly, “Don’t feel bad Y/N/N, I’ve easily forgotten at least four times in the past. I’m coming by yours in a bit and we can decide what the plan is from there.” I smiled even though she couldn’t see it and we said our goodbyes before hanging up. I walked to the front door to be ready to meet her in the lobby as she wasn’t too far from me. I went to lock my door but decided against it as we probably would just end up there for the day and walked to the elevator. 

“Junk food and netflix?” Mal spoke as I opened her car door and got in. I eagerly agreed and we headed to our first stop: the closest convenience store. It easily was the most cost effective option and yet another monument of our friendship. Whenever we were bored or wanted to hang out we always ended up at the closest convenience store and always bought too many things (mainly snacks) we didn’t need. It was always worth it.

After spending too much time and money we headed back to Mal’s apartment and got ready to spend the day together. We pulled up ‘After’ on Netflix because we knew how bad it would be and wanted to laugh at ourselves and each other for reading the original Harry Styles fanfic the movie was based on. After pausing the movie a million times to laugh and talk about what chapter this would be, Mal turned to me and spoke genuinely, “How are you today?” I sighed and looked her in the eye. I smiled as big as I could and told her the truth. “Could be better. It’s always going to be hard though and my neighbor really isn’t helping things.” 

February 4th wasn’t a randomly chosen date. It was a date chosen to help me be prepared for another significant date just around the corner. Mal smiled and nodded in understanding before speaking again, “What would be best for us to do the rest of today?” This is why I loved Mal. She knew the real reason why this day was created and she still never tried to do what she thought I needed to have fun or be okay with it or even ignore it. She always wanted to make sure I was doing what I needed for myself.

I smiled again, larger this time and told her gratefully, “Honestly watching ‘This Is Us’ and crying over One Direction sounds great right now.” We laughed before we pulled the movie and cuddled up together under the blankets. I was so lucky.

I got back to my apartment around 9pm that night with a smile on my face. Today was great and I knew it would help me be prepared for the next important day. I went to unlock my door but it was already unlocked. I froze as I remembered not locking it this morning in case we ended up here and felt my heart drop as I heard the TV on inside. I knew I didn’t leave it on this morning as I hardly used it in general and I braced myself as I slowly opened the door, ready to face whatever burglar or serial killer was inside. Only it was worse.

Namjoon was relaxed and sprawled out on my couch with his feet on the coffee table in front of him. He had a mug with tea in it next to his feet and I gaped at him. He turned to me as he heard the door open and smiled smugly at my expression. “Oh, hey you’re back.” He turned back to the TV and I was too shocked to move from my place in the doorway. He spoke casually like he had every right to be in there. “You know, you should probably stop leaving your door unlocked. You never know what creep or weirdo could walk in.” He took a sip of his tea and raised his brows at me. 

I started to mutter out a response but he stood from the couch and cut me off from my stuttering. “I just want to apologize for keeping you up last week. It’s not cool and I learned my lesson completely. It won’t happen again.” He spoke sincerely and it was honestly scary to hear him talk without sounding sarcastic or cruel. I narrowed my eyes at him and spoke in disbelief, “Really? So...we’re cool?” Namjoon laughed genuinely with his award winning dimples in view as I arched my brow in confusion. He patted my shoulder as he replied. “Yeah, we’re cool.”

With that he walked past me and out the door, closing it behind him and calling for me to “Make sure you lock it”. I looked around my apartment for anything that seemed broken or tampered with to ignore the pounding of my heart and the heat that lingered where his hand was. After coming up empty handed I was confused. Surely he would’ve tried to get me back. Maybe I was wrong about him. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone so far like I did and just talked to him. I sighed and groaned as I felt guilt start to swallow me up again that day. 

It wasn’t until I moved to get ready for bed that I saw I had no need to feel guilty at all. I was right about him. I should’ve gone further than what I did because he did get me back. He had replaced something of mine I hadn’t thought of before and it was way worse than I could’ve imagined. Sitting innocently on top of my dresser was a little note with his messy scrawl reading ‘Gotcha ;)’ and I panicked. I looked through all my shirts, pants, socks but found nothing until I looked in the last drawer. I gasped as I saw his handiwork and couldn’t believe it. He had replaced my entire underwear collection with brand new, lacy thongs.

To say I was fuming would be an understatement. Not only had he completely invaded my privacy but he had touched and stolen things that were for my eyes only. I had to use every ounce of strength in my body to not feel embarrassed that he had seen my lackluster collection since that was not the issue here. I couldn’t just ask him to give them back and at the moment putting on my dirty pair I discarded after the quick shower I had taken was also not an option. I swallowed my pride and slipped a lacy red thong with floral details up my legs and dove into bed hoping to forget my day and have sleep take over me.

Shockingly, I seemed to once again be the only one who found my situation infuriating. Mal was practically suffering the next morning as she tried to hold in her laughter at my explanation of the night before. My glare did nothing to ease her laughter that had finally bubbled out of her loudly and I brushed past her into the kitchen in my shop. I ignored her wheezing as I pulled out the bowls and ingredients for the day. Today called for a new creation and ultimate focus since all I could think of was the fact that I could feel the soft material of my sundress against just about every part of me.

Tying my apron around my waist, I got to work. I started with cupcakes as I was constantly out of stock of my new flavor “Maliblue”. It was a spring themed cupcake with lemon flavored cake and a blueberry frosting. The hoards of college students on spring break back at home posting pictures at beaches inspired the name and surprisingly it sold well for a small bakery in Korea. As I placed my first batch in the oven I got to thinking on what to do next. I wanted something new and good. 

Before I could clearly think out any ideas I started grabbing ingredients and let my body work for me. Mal walked back, seemingly calmed down and ready to let me vent. “Alright I’m sorry but you can not tell me you don't see any humor in this!” 

I rolled my eyes and pushed a stubborn strand of hair back behind my ear as I worked on the mystery item in front of me. “Honestly I don’t see any humor in him discovering my granny panty collection.” I murmured under my breath. My eyes widened as I spoke and I hoped she hadn’t heard me, but as her smile widened and she crossed her arms over her chest smugly I knew the damage was done. “So that’s why you’re upset. You’re embarrassed cause the guy you like saw your underwear and now he probably doesn't think you’re sexy. I mean it’s understandable.” 

I fought the urge to wipe her smug grin off her face and instead spoke in a tone way too defensive “I do not like him and couldn’t give two shits if he thought I was sexy.” This only made her grin widen even further and my growing blush worsen. I groaned at the sight and went back to mixing the batter in front of me. I apparently was in a cupcake mood as that’s what I decided to make with it.

“What are you making?” Mal questioned as I moved to grab some cream cheese and raspberries from the fridge and I shrugged in response because I truly didn’t know. I had finished the chocolate cake batter and now started on a filling. I heard Mal’s phone buzz and she grabbed it at lightning speed while smiling at her screen. I raised my eyebrows in reaction to her sudden movement and she gave me an apologetic glance before hurriedly typing out a response. It was now my turn to question her and she seemed to realize this as she innocently looked at me before trying to dip her finger in the chocolate batter.

I swatted her hand away and put my hands on my hips while tilting my head at her accusingly. She sighed and started to blush before I even asked the question she knew was on my mind. “So who is he?” I suddenly spoke and Mal flushed even further before smiling and quietly muttering “Jimin” in response. I kind of expected his name even though I constantly teased her for ‘liking the enemy’. Before I could question her further though, the oven dinged and the front door swung open against the bells above it, signalling a new customer. “Literally saved by the bell.” I spoke as I went to the oven.

She darted to the front of the store leaving me confused as she never was excited to greet customers. I shook it off and pulled the cupcakes from the oven, continuing to mix the filling for my new batch as they cooled. After placing the chocolate batter in a greased tin and placing them in the oven, I walked out of the kitchen, wiping my hands on my apron, and froze. Of course it wasn’t just a customer that had come in. It was Jimin and behind him stood an amused looking Namjoon. I rolled my eyes at the sight and overheard Mal and Jimin talking about their plans for the evening. I smiled slightly hearing them so excited and watching them act like love sick puppies.

“Wow you sure know how to greet your customers huh?” Spoke a familiar voice and my smile vanished. I still hadn’t come up with my plan to get him back and I honestly didn’t have the patience to face him while wearing lace. That he had bought.

“I wouldn’t consider you a customer, more like a nuisance.” I spoke boldly and his signature wicked grin appeared. Before he could speak up again Mal put her hand on my shoulder. “I’ve just had a great idea.” She spoke loudly, gaining everyone's attention. “Oh no.” I mumbled at the glint in her eyes. “Why don’t you and Namjoon join me and Jimin tonight? I’m sure staying here all night can’t possibly be better than mini golf and ice cream.” She spoke sweetly but I knew better. 

Jimin instantly agreed and I saw a similar look of dread on Namjoon’s face as I turned to face him. It quickly vanished though as he replaced it with a cocky smirk and made eye contact with me as she spoke “That is a great idea. It’s a date.” I almost choked on my spit at his words but before I could retort, he glanced at his watch and got Jimin’s attention as they had to head back to their shop. “See you at closing, Moonlight.” He winked after his words and was out the door. I saw Mal turn to me with eyebrows raised and knew she was going to question the nickname but the oven dinged once again and I sheepishly told her, “Saved by the bell?”

I had finished my new cupcakes and placed them out to be sold when shockingly they sold out. I had to remake them twice throughout the day but had yet to come up with a name for them. Before I could though, it was closing time and Jimin and Namjoon had come back to the shop, ready to go mini golfing. I cursed myself for wearing a short sundress and jean jacket as Seoul decided wind was a great idea tonight. I locked the door to the shop and we headed off. Before we got too far, however, Namjoon pulled me back to walk with him and leaned into my ear as he spoke “Hope you’re wearing one of my presents tonight under that dress, Moonlight.” I felt my jaw drop as he let go of my arm and innocently smiled before walking off to join Jimin and Mal.

This was going to be a long night.

Walking to mini golf felt like an eternity with Namjoon standing next to me, towering over my frame, and with Mal and Jimin giggling and holding hands in front of us. I didn’t realize I was staring at them until a chuckle sounded from next to me. “What?” I asked him questioningly. He smiled softly at me and I felt my heart clench at the sight. This was the first time he had looked at me with anything other than cockiness or venom in his eyes. I brushed off the feeling as shock and waited for him to reply. 

“You just had a funny face is all. You looked bored, angry and like you were plotting some evil plan all at once.” He spoke jokingly and I sighed at his answer. “Why does everyone say that?” I groaned and Namjoon looked at me confused but intrigued. I answered the question I knew he was about to ask, “Everyone says I look like I’m plotting something and I never am. I don’t plot anything. Ever.” Namjoon just laughed lightly at that and looked up at the setting sun.

“If it means anything, you look cute when you plot how to escape third-wheeling. You furrow your eyebrows and squint your eyes and get all focused.” He looked sheepish as he finished his statement and scratched at his neck before he shoved his hands in his pockets. I felt heat rise to my cheeks and cleared my throat before retorting. “Don’t think you can just try to smooth talk me and make me forgive you for your little prank last night.” I sounded much more confident than I felt and I praised whatever higher power for giving me that strength.

Namjoon smirked but it wasn’t cocky like it usually was. He hung his head down and shook his head while smiling, dimples proudly on display. We were quiet for a while after that but soon we were at the mini golf place and practically pulled inside by Mal and Jimin. The interior was dark and covered in blacklights and neon paints lit up the otherwise hidden walls and courses. Jimin paid for Mal and I went to grab my wallet when Namjoon stopped me with his question of “What color ball do you want, Moonlight?”. I quirked a brow at him in slight protest before he tilted his head at me in response and sighed out a ‘green’ in indignation.

He grinned in triumph as he received our balls and the score card from the teenage cashier. He tossed me my green ball which I easily caught and rolled my eyes as he led me to the first hole. My worn, white shoes lit up under the lights as well as Namjoon’s shirt under his flannel and warm looking jacket. He boyishly smiled at the sight and his eyes widened as he did so. I couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of him acting like a little kid and he looked like a deer in headlights as he realized he was caught. 

I placed my ball down after Mal hugged a blushing Jimin for getting a hole in one and was ready to give a half assed attempt at hitting the ball before Namjoon asked in shock “What are you doing?” like I was committing a crime. I stood up straight in confusion and lazily gestured to my ball before responding plainly “Playing mini golf. It’s not like I’m trying to win or anything.” I leaned back over before he moved towards me. I stood up again and held out my hand for him to stop before speaking again.

“No. Absolutely not. You’re not about to pull some cheesy rom com bullshit on me where the guy goes behind the girl to ‘help with her technique’. Go stand by that neon pink dick on the wall and look pretty while I take five attempts at getting this ball in the hole.” I pointed my finger at the wall as I spoke and he laughed loudly at my speech before raising his hands in surrender and stepping close to the wall with said spray painted neon pink dick. He crossed his arms and challenged me with his eyes to do as I said I would.

“Thank you.” I curtsied in my sundress and he laughed in response. It took me four tries before I finished while Namjoon got it in two and we walked to the next hole before realizing Mal and Jimin were far ahead of us. I sighed at the sight of the next 17 holes and Namjoon nudged me with his elbow. “You know, the tickets for mini golf also came with unlimited arcade credits.” he pointed his head in the direction of the arcade on the other side of the courses. I smiled and started walking towards the bright lights and sounds of the games being played before speaking over my shoulder “I’ll kick your ass in skeeball.” 

“You’re a cheater.” Namjoon spoke grumpily as I won another game and beat him. We played a few rounds of skeeball then moved on to air hockey where he destroyed me and I sulked until we played mario kart where I came in second to him again. I pouted until he led me to the basketball game where I beat his ass twice. 

I laughed at his words as we walked to the counter for prizes. “I never cheat. You just chose to get your ass handed to you by a girl. It’s okay, Joon. Happens to the best of us.” He stopped moving and smiled and I grabbed his wrist to drag him to the counter before dropping all our tickets onto it. “Stop smiling like a doofus and get me that angry minion.” I put my hands on my hips as I spoke and he looked at the worker before saying “You heard the lady.” and pushing our tickets to them. 

He kept smiling and looking at his shoes as if they were incredibly interesting before I flicked his shoulder and asked him “What are you smiling at?” He shook his head and grabbed the minion from the employee’s hand and mine in his other hand. I blushed lightly at the sudden contact and moved to keep up with him. “You called me Joon. It’s cute. I usually reserve that nickname for family and close friends so the fact I’m not throwing your ass outside and blocking off all contact with you is a shock to us all.”

I laughed at his statement and we soon ran into Mal and Jimin who looked equally smug and love sick as ever. Mal looked down to our still interlocked hands and I quickly withdrew mine from Namjoon’s grasp before speaking. “So. Ice cream anyone?”

The walk to the parlor was quiet and Namjoon looked deep in thought as his hands were shoved in his pockets and his brows were furrowed. The ice cream shop we were going to wasn’t even a real shop as it was a cart with outdoor seating under strung lights and wooden beams. The wind had only gotten worse as the night went on so the cold was brutal against my exposed skin. I pulled my surprisingly thin jean jacket tight around my frame and moved my hands quickly up and down my arms in an attempt to gain some warmth. Suddenly a hand stopped my quick movements and I was pulled into a firm body. I looked up in shock as Namjoon hugged me tightly against him and wrapped his arms around my waist.

I tried to push away from him but he was so warm I was finding it hard to resist. “Stop pushing, Moonlight. Put your arms inside my jacket, it’ll warm you up.” I eyed him suspiciously and he sighed before rolling his eyes and starting to pull away. I practically shouted in protest as I felt the sudden frigid wind hit me again. I hesitantly listened to him and leaned fully against him with my arms inside of his incredibly warm jacket.

“Who’s bullshit idea was it to get ice cream outside.” I grumbled against his chest. I felt the vibrations of him laughing at my words and felt soothed at the sensation. I closed my eyes and released a breath I hadn’t known I was holding in. His arms rubbed up and down my back and I felt tension leave my body as we started to sway side to side. “I’m still pissed at you.” I spoke again and I felt him look down at me. I met his amused eyes and put my chin on his chest as I looked up at him. “Damn, you mean my plan to woo you and make you fall for me so you’ll forget how mad you are hasn’t worked yet?” 

I smiled at him and breathily laughed before speaking with new found confidence. “Barely. It might’ve worked if I wasn’t wearing red lace all day with no one to admire. It’s frustrating really. If only I were wooed.” 

Nobody could have prepared me for the absolute chaos that came from joining Jimin and Mal on their date. It was only the next morning and my phone hadn’t stopped buzzing due to texts and calls from Mal. I only briefly glanced at them before I went to sleep the night before and knew she was begging for “details” of the night she imagined happened. Namjoon had walked me back to our building after we finished up our ice cream. We walked in silence with our hands brushing slightly with every sudden movement. After a few blocks I crossed my arms over my chest, too high off the feeling of his skin against mine, no matter how miniscule and told myself it was due to how cold I was. 

I was utterly dumbfounded. Yes, Namjoon was undeniably attractive and we had gotten along well throughout our night together but he was still Namjoon. The guy stealing my business, my noisy neighbor who replaced all my underwear, the jerk who couldn’t even attempt to spell my name right, Namjoon. He made my blood boil and my heart race but it was beginning to get confusing as I couldn’t distinguish the anger for something else. We parted ways as he stopped in front of his door and I kept walking to mine. I thought he was about to speak but I had already opened my door and rushed in before he could utter a single syllable.

Sleep didn’t come easy, and before I knew it I had tossed and turned until 5am. I sighed and pushed myself up to get ready. I clearly wasn’t going to rest and the only form of relaxation I knew was a few blocks down the road. I shrugged on my clothes after a quick shower and grabbed my keys before heading out. I froze as I heard the door next to mine open as I was locking my own and willed myself to not look at him as I heard the footsteps suddenly stop just like mine had.

I finished locking my door and turned in the direction of the elevator without making any effort to actually walk towards it. Namjoon quickly closed and locked his door and suddenly we were in a silent battle of who would speak first. Shy glances and nervous movements could only do so much and he seemed to grow tired of it as he spoke up first. “Early morning?” He asked as he reached up to scratch at the back of his neck awkwardly. It seemed to be a nervous habit of his but before I could think about what that made me feel I responded. “Couldn’t sleep.” I spoke sheepishly and played with my hands in front of me.

I took in a breath and looked up with a smile as I walked to the elevator behind him. He joined me and soon the doors were closing behind us. “Was I too loud or anything? I was kinda up all night too. Just...thinking.” He grew quiet as he finished and I assured him it had nothing to do with him. At least I think so. We once again started walking down the road to our respective shops by each other's side. Our hands brushed again and I praised the yawn that left my body as it gave me an excuse to move my hand away from his. He looked over at me and once again looked like he wanted to say something. This time, however, I let him say what was on his mind.

“Do you maybe want a coffee? I mean that’s at least why I left my place.” I looked up at him and blinked away the tears that had formed due to my yawning and saw something flash in his eyes and a small smile grow on his face. I was hesitant to spend more time alone with him but before I could deny him another yawn left me and he chuckled. “Come on, Moonlight, I think I know a good place.”

We made our way to the Hideout Cafe and he grabbed the keys from his back pocket before holding the door open for me. I smiled at him in thanks and took in the coffee shop once again. It was different at this time of day. The chairs were stacked up and pushed against the walls along with the wooden tables, the dim lights were calming as the sun had yet to rise and fill up the shop with its bright rays. Namjoon moved easily behind the counter and turned on some machines I didn’t recognize. I stood next to the door taking in all the artwork and posters lining the walls before I noticed a section at the corner of the shop. There was a wooden ledge lining the corner covered in pillows and soft looking blankets. The lights hanging above it made it look inviting and I slowly walked towards the bookcases on the wall next to the makeshift reading nook.

I looked at the familiar and unknown titles until I heard Namjoon call for me. I turned to answer him only to see him walking towards me. “I didn’t see this here the first time I came.” I spoke softly and he smiled at me before pulling a book off the ledge and placing it on the shelf where it belonged. “When I bought this place the corner seat was already here so it just felt right to add everything else.” He shrugged as he spoke but the almost longing look he wore towards the books told me there was something more to his story.

He turned to me again as he spoke “What would you like?” and his right arm stretched out to the chalkboard menu above the counter. I walked with him to stand in front of it to get a better look but couldn’t decide. I bit down on my lip in concentration as I tried to figure out something right to order. I didn’t want to get something embarrassing and ‘basic’ but I wanted something that tasted good. Namjoon stood next to me and looked at the side of my face before I decided to say what I thought was a good answer. “Surprise me.”

And surprise me, he definitely did. I moved to lean against the counter as I watched him work. We talked about random facts and our favorite things and every few minutes I would ask what he was making before he would continue to avoid my question. After a seemingly never ending wait he handed me my to go cup with steam and an addicting aroma wafting up to my nose. He already looked smug before I even took a sip and I knew it was going to be good. I took the lid off to let it cool off and smell it clearly. Fed up with my stalling, Namjoon rolled his eyes and ordered me to drink it. I huffed out a sigh and did as he said. I was right. It was good. Before I could stroke his ego with my full review of the magical drink in my hands I had to open up my own shop.

That didn’t cause the image of him smirking and calling out to me “Bye, Moonlight.” to leave my mind for the rest of the day. If anything it only made me long to see him even sooner. Mal had burst into the shop on schedule and I prepared myself for her interrogation. “Well you two were certainly cozy last night. It’s truly amazing how well you can get along with others when you aren’t trying to rip their head off.” I rolled my eyes before changing the subject. “I was only trying to get close to him and make him think I don’t have my next prank planned and ready to go.” 

Mal laughed at my words before looking me in the eye and speaking confidently, “If you wanted my help coming up with a prank you could’ve just asked instead of lying.” I laughed before looking at her with pleading eyes. “My God you’re hopeless.” She sighed and I silently cheered as I knew she was going to help.

A few google searches, texts to Jimin, and a visit to a public library copy machine later we were ready. It was still only noon and I sent Mal out to put up all the flyers we had made before taking a lunch break together. I was nervous to see how this went. I wouldn’t be around him all day and I was relying on updates from Jimin to see how everything was going. All I could gather from the last text Mal had received and read out to me was that Namjoon was pissed. Mission accomplished. 

Walking to my building on my own felt lonely after having someone with me the night before and this morning. I brushed that thought aside as I knew Namjoon would be home soon as I saw Jimin turning the ‘Open’ sign on the door to the Hideout Cafe to ‘Closed’ before giving me a wink. 

I had made it to the elevator in the lobby before the door to the building opened behind me. I felt a shiver go down my spine in anticipation and excitement. Sure enough a tired and annoyed looking Namjoon stood next to me while glaring down at his phone. I bit back my laugh and pressed the button for our floor in silence. He leaned his head back onto the elevator wall and let out a deep breath. I started to feel guilty but he didn’t know I was to blame for the likely endless calls he had received today so I swallowed my fear and walked to my door as the elevator came to a stop at our floor. 

I was putting my key into the lock when I heard a deep groan and ringtone start to play loudly. I couldn’t help the smile on my face as I heard Namjoon angrily speak into the phone “No this is not the number for Chewbaca roaring contest, please don’t call again.” before hanging up. I laughed before clamping a hand over my mouth quickly, but it was too late. Namjoon looked over at me and realization flashed across his face followed my anger and...hurt? He opened his door before slamming it behind him and I continued to laugh until I made my way inside my own apartment. That’s when the confusion hit. Why did the hurt look on his face make me feel guilty all over again?

I woke up not being able to breathe. My eyes were open wide and I continued to cough and wheeze, trying to desperately fill my burning lungs with the air they craved. I threw my duvet off my body and fell to the floor of my bedroom coughing with tears streaming down my face. 

“Y/N run!” 

No. This isn’t real. It’s all a dream. My head was tormenting me with memories from that night. My chest started to rise and fall frantically due to the lack of oxygen and the flashing images behind my eyelids.

“Help! Please someone help me!” I was running around the hoards of people filling my street and in front of my house. There were red and blue lights flashing and blurring my vision until all I saw was a kaleidoscope of the two colors.

I clamped my hands over my ears and let out a violent sob. I couldn’t see clearly in front of me. There was a thin fog covering the room and burning my eyes.

I fell to my knees and sobbed until I was mobbed by a herd of paramedics and police officers. I was hysterical. “Please, just help me please! They're still inside please, they were on the second floor please!” I pushed away hands full of gauze and bandages, trying to get them to just understand. “My mom and sister are still inside please! Go get them” All of my senses were overpowered by fiery embers and heat, yet I could see more clearly than ever as a firefighter walked quickly to a police officer helping to try and calm me down. I was zeroed in on the interaction and would never forget the feeling of my heart dropping and shattering when they pulled away and looked back on me with that undeniable look of pity on their faces.

I screamed and felt all of the life leave my body as I fell to the asphalt below me. There was silence. I couldn’t hear my screams of agony, feel the hands pulling me up and into an ambulance, taste the smoke that I had been choking on earlier, smell the burnt remnants of my home that had gone up in flames, or see anything aside from the flashing images of my mother and sister in my mind.

I was rocking back and forth, mumbling incoherently, and sobbing as I curled into myself at the foot of my bed. I felt my body being shaken and shot my eyes open to see the concerned face of Mal above me. Her hands were on my shoulders and she was calling out my name. I launched into her arms and continued sobbing into her shoulder. She brushed her hands through my hair and held me until I was only hiccuping every few seconds. 

“I came to check up on you because I know 5 years is a big anniversary. What happened? I could smell that air freshener from the elevator.” She spoke softly as she looked into my eyes with concern. I furrowed my brows in confusion before looking around the room. “What? It’s not the 14th yet, Mal. Right?” She pulled my phone off the nightstand and showed me the screen with the date I’ve despised for the past 5 years on the screen. I felt my heart drop and tears well up all over again. I blinked them back before continuing to answer her second question.

“I don’t know what happened. I woke up and I couldn’t breathe or see clearly. What do you mean you could smell the air freshener? I didn’t spray anything.” As I calmed down more I could smell the overpowering scent of fruit and hibiscus. I scrunched up my face and gagged at the suffocating aromas. Mal furrowed her brows and grabbed an almost empty aerosol can of air freshener from beside her. “I mean I assumed you didn’t do this since I had to cut a zip tie off of it. Babe, I think you were pranked.” It made sense. The surprise and shock of it, the zip tie, all of it. 

I shook my head and moved to stand up. “What are you doing?” Mal questioned. I moved to my closet and grabbed some jeans and an old t-shirt. “Getting ready for work. I was pranked, it’s not the end of the world or a reason for me to stop living life as per usual.” I couldn’t meet her eyes as I spoke. I didn’t want to talk about what had happened. Especially today. Mal sighed before standing as well. “I know it still hurts. Anyone in your place would feel the exact same way. But it’s been 5 years since that fire and I know the anniversaries always hit you harder as the years go by. When you choose to talk to me, I’ll be here.”

I nodded my head as I held onto my clothes for the day. 5 years. 5 years. They died exactly 5 years ago today and I still missed them like it was day one. I let out a sigh before starting to get dressed.

I spent all day in the bakery trying to avoid all my emotions I had kept bottled up. It was getting harder to ignore everything but being in my safe place usually made it bearable. However, today I was confused. Customers kept asking for refunds repeatedly throughout the day and I didn’t understand why. I baked everything fresh this morning, the same as I always have. Even my regulars were complaining and throwing perfectly fine food into the trash. It seemed like the cherry on top of everything that had happened already. Mal and I struggled to find the answer for hours. We retraced and rebaked until our heads were spinning.

I was dealing with a new customer who was demanding a refund when the answer became clear. “It’s just pure salt! Honestly how can you run a bakery and mix up your salt and sugar!” I froze. The customer continued to rant but I felt like I was underwater. I know for a fact I had used the sugar. I hadn’t mixed up like that since I was a child experimenting at home. I quickly apologised and handed the customer their money before rushing back to the kitchen. Mal had watched the encounter and followed quickly behind me. I practically threw the sugar container onto my work table before ripping off the plastic lid. I put my finger inside and tasted the white contents. Salt. I was dumbfounded. How could this have happened.

The bell above the shop sounded and I walked out to greet the customer while trying to hide the confusion on my face. I walked in view of my “customer” and felt like a brick wall had collapsed onto me. I felt the pricking of tears behind my eyes and my mouth grew dry at the sight. Namjoon was standing in front of the register looking smug as ever and I felt utterly stupid. 

“What’s wrong, Moonlight? Shop’s empty, looks like you’ve been having some trouble with customer satisfaction today. Wonder why.” I untied my apron and tossed it off quickly before going to the back to grab my things. Mal looked up at my sudden appearance and I spoke before she could. “You know what, you were right. Today is a big deal. I’m closing up for the rest of the day. It’s too much.” I was trembling as I grabbed my purse and walked out to avoid her concerned gaze. Namjoon was still standing at the register as I walked to the front door. He looked confused and worried but I bit my lip hard to avoid crying in front of him. 

“Hey, what’s wrong. It was just a prank I didn’t think-” I turned around to face him and pointed my finger at him. “You’re a fucking asshole you know? This is my livelihood and my everything. I could’ve maybe handled you fucking with my business any other day of the year but today it’s way too much. Whatever prank war or competition we were doing to spite each other is done. Congrats! You won. Now never touch me or my things or come into my apartment or store ever again.” The tears were freely flowing down my face but I didn’t care. 

“Wait, Moonli-” Namjoon reached out for me but I turned and opened the door before he could finish. “And don’t call me that. You don’t know me. I don’t know you. What’s the point of stupid nicknames for people you don’t really know or want to talk to ever again.” I walked out before he could stop me again, not halting until I was at my apartment. I locked the door behind me and fell onto the couch with sobs and memories of laughter and people I’ll never get back lulling me to sleep.

Coping has always been difficult for me. I never really understood that I could let out my emotions and talk about them with people without being judged or told it’s not important. It only got harder for me when my mom and sister died five years ago. I never talked about it. I avoided the emotions and my guilt and pain from that day for five years and I was only hurting more as a result. I was curled up on my couch under a fuzzy blanket with tears streaming down my face, but I didn’t feel anything besides numbness. I wasn’t struggling to catch my breath or having sobs shake my body, I was numb. I was on my couch for what felt like infinity but realistically was probably a few hours. It was dark outside and no matter how exhausted I was, I knew sleep would never come.

I heard a soft knock at my door and made no move to answer it. My phone was abandoned on the coffee table and hadn’t been touched since I first came home. I knew Mal had been trying to reach me as the vibrations hadn’t stopped all day. The knocking came again, louder this time. I took as deep of a breath that I could manage before moving to sit up. I pulled my blanket tight around my body as I walked to the door. I didn’t check the peep hole because nothing mattered to me anymore. I didn’t care.

I unlocked the door and opened it to see a worried Namjoon….I still didn't know his last name. Further proof of why he shouldn’t be here and why I shouldn’t feel warm inside that he is. He looked up to meet my eyes and his expression fell into a sorrowful one laced with confusion. I turned back around and walked towards my couch, not in the mood for formalities.

“I’m sorry.” He spoke softly yet confident as I sat down. I huffed out a laugh and shook my head. “Why are you here?” I croaked out. He took a step closer and I felt my body tense slightly. He stopped moving before answering, “Why would I be anywhere else? I hurt you and I need you to know it wasn’t my plan for that to happen.” He started to scratch the back of his neck and I sighed.

“It’s not your fault.” My voice was shaky and my eyes filled with tears. I cleared my throat and looked up at him. He looked sad and curious and I knew I couldn’t keep it all in anymore. I scooted over on my couch and motioned my hand for him to join me. He hesitantly obeyed but never took his gaze off of me. “I need to be honest.” I spoke softly. He moved his hand above my shoulder to comfort me, before moving it back to his lap. I took in a breath before speaking about something I thought would be internalized forever.

“Five years ago I lived in a small town in Colorado. I had lived there my whole life and was happy. It was just my mom, sister, and I in a small house with a gorgeous view of the mountains. Mal lived in the neighborhood with us and we’ve basically been joint at the hip since birth.” I stopped as the night came back to me. I closed my eyes tightly and Namjoon turned towards me. I don’t know why, but I reached out and grasped his hand. He squeezed my smaller one tightly before rubbing circles into the back of my palm with his thumb.

“One night, we were having a sleepover. We were 18 but acted like children so we made a blanket fort in the living room. We watched movies all night and eventually we decided to go to my room so we could sleep. We thought we unplugged everything but we were tired and there was a stupid fucking candle. My room was on the first floor but my mom and sister’s were on the second.” I felt Namjoon squeeze my hand tighter and I let out a choked sob. He pulled me into his arms and rocked me slowly.

I cried into his chest as his hands rubbed my back soothingly. After I started to calm down a bit, I pulled back a bit to look at him. “We made it out. The neighbors had already called but there was no way they could’ve made it down the stairs without being trapped by the fire. I did it. I killed them. It’s been five years today and I’ve never talked about it. So it’s not your fault, Joon. It’s all mine because I’m too much of a coward to accept what I did five years ago.”

Namjoon gently placed his hand on my face and turned it to look into his eyes. “It never has been, and never will be your fault. It was an accident. Don’t carry that guilt because it’s not true. Okay?” I felt more tears flow and he wiped them away. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you, it’s just that baking is how I try to cope. I mean I still bottled up everything so I guess it didn’t work too well but-” Namjoon cut me off with his next words. I was shocked after he did. He looked into my eyes with nothing but kindness and genuity. 

“Teach me how to bake.” 

“What?” I started to wonder if confiding in him was the right choice since it seemed that he didn’t even know how to listen to me.

“You said it helps you cope, and it clearly makes you happy. I want you to start learning that it's okay to not get over something as big as that in one conversation. And that it’s not your fault. It’ll take time. So we’re going to bake something and talk about whatever you want to until you accept that it’s not your fault. We may bake a lot of things since this is gonna take a while, but I’ll be here until that day comes. I also really want to see you be happy right now. So teach me how to bake and I’ll teach you whatever you want in return.”

I was in awe. I didn’t know why he cared so much but I knew he was right. It was going to take some time and he clearly wanted to start now. I stood up and started walking to my kitchen. He followed behind me and stood awkwardly in the doorway, looking around the array of ingredients I pulled out. It was only flour, sugar, eggs, and butter but he already looked stressed. He let out a breath and pulled off his jacket as I reached to grab some mixing bowls and measuring cups. “So what do you want to bake?” I asked him so I could narrow down the necessary tools and ingredients. 

“A cake?” He shrugged his shoulders and I smiled at his seemingly nervous behavior. “Ask me. It makes it seem more official and I like hearing you ask to be taught something you don’t know.”  He smiled before rolling his shoulders back and dramatically clearing his throat. And so he asked, “Y/N, will you please teach me how to bake a cake?” and I did.

The week following our first “lesson” was only filled with constant interaction and more lessons. At first we only baked random sweets while dancing around to whatever song came on shuffle through my bluetooth speaker. We talked about our loves and passions and sometimes we touched on my mom and sister but Namjoon would never push me too far. I knew the feelings I was starting to harbor for him were more than platonic. It wasn’t just his looks or stupid jokes or smile at my even worse jokes. I was the little things. 

It was his caring heart. ‘Teach me to bake in a bakery.’ “So why do you add that if it’s not in the recipe?” he questioned me with a slight tilt of his head. “Because it’s the secret ingredient, Joon. And if I find out you tell anyone what it is I’ll burn down your coffee shop. Okay?” His eyebrows raised and his eyes widened before a boyish grin spread across his face. “Jeez, what’s with you and fire?” I tensed slightly but before I could feel any negative emotion, Namjoon lightly touched my arm and turned me to meet his pleading gaze. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it like-” I cut him off with a flurry of giggles and my hunched over frame. “Why are you apologizing? I am really shit when it comes to fire safety.” I winked at him and saw him relax. With him around, it was okay. He cared.

It was his patience. ‘Teach me to make a beat’ “Ughhhh. Joon, I’m never going to get this right.” The throbbing in my fingertips and crease in my brow due to my frustration were evident. “Moonlight, it takes practice. And a good teacher always helps, hence why I’m here. You’re gonna get it, just try again.” He was seated next to me at his impressive studio desk trying to correctly position my randomly placed snare drum and bass sounds on the program in front of us. If it wasn’t his equipment I would have thrown it all at the wall ages ago. I sighed and sat up straighter in his desk chair before moving around some of the beats and trying again to make something that didnt sound like a middle school band warming up, or just a total cluster fuck of noises. Namjoon hummed along to the beat of the song I was “creating” and while it was incredibly off beat and by no means perfect, it was an incredible improvement. “See! I knew you could do it.” I smiled widely, matching his own. “How are you so optimistic and patient? You literally just sat through an hour of me butchering your presets with a smile the whole time.” He laughed before grabbing the instrument from my arms. “Because it’s you.”

It was determination. ‘Teach me to appreciate Shakespeare’ “Wait so Juliet is actually dead now? How did Romeo not even check to see if she was breathing?” Namjoon spoke confused. “She was in a tomb and looked pretty dead. All he knew is that his true love was dead and they were supposed to run away together.” I closed my copy of Romeo and Juliet and continued playing with his hair in my lap. “Huh. But why kill himself? And why would she do the same? Why couldn’t she just tell him her plan so that this wouldn’t have happened?” His hand gestured wildly in front of him and I looked down at his head that he had moved to my lap during the final act of the play with a smile. “That’s the tragedy of it all. They were so close to being together and running off on their own with no judgement.” Namjoon sat up at my answer and looked me in the eye as he spoke once more, “I guess you taught me how to appreciate Romeo and Juliet so congrats. But you still didn’t answer my other questions. Why would they see that the only option was death?” I looked away before answering. “I guess we all just want somebody to die for.”

It was his knowledge. ‘Teach me the best movies’ “Well we obviously have to watch The Godfather if you want to review the best movies of all time.” Namjoon had just come back to his living room with a bowl of popcorn as I settled into his couch with a fluffy blanket. “Well I’ve never seen it so I guess it wouldn’t be a review for me.” I spoke casually as Namjoon sat next to me under the blanket. He turned to me so fast I thought he might snap his neck. “You’ve never seen my favorite movie of all time? Okay we definitely need to start there.” I laughed as he pressed play. “I never watch movies. I just feel like I have more important things in life to spend my time on.” He looks offended as he processes my words. “I’m just going to pretend I didn’t just hear that.”

It was all these things about him and more. I was falling for Kim Namjoon more than I thought possible. I also finally learned his surname during a slightly embarrassing lesson of ‘Teach me your last name’. Currently we were still in our lesson about movies. Namjoon was insistent I was “educated” and no matter how hard I tried to watch the movie, I couldn’t concentrate. When I looked around all I saw was Namjoon. Namjoon’s apartment,Namjoon’s couch, Namjoon’s arm around my shoulders, Namjoon’s favorite movie playing, Namjoon’s blanket covering my body, Namjoon’s incredibly soft and cozy hoodie he let me wear, Namjoon. Thankfully my lack of concentration and stream of thoughts were broken by the man himself.

 About 10 minutes into the film, Namjoon asks a question I wasn’t expecting. “Wait so since you don’t watch movies, what did you have in the background during makeout sessions growing up?” He threw some popcorn in his mouth as I froze. He turned back to me at my lack of response. “Um, nothing?” I spoke timidly. “Wow, straight to the point, huh?” I shook my head and spoke the embarassing truth, “No I just, I’ve never been kissed. So there really wasn’t ever the chance to put something on.” I turned away from him, scared of him laughing in my face. Instead he just spoke “Bullshit. There’s no way nobody’s kissed you before.” I looked at his stupidly charming grin and said, “Well it’s not bullshit. And why are you so shocked?” He looked at me like I was stupid before stating “Because you’re beautiful.” He spoke the words like it was obvious. 

After a moment of silence, I turned my attention back to the movie playing but I couldn’t focus. I played with my fingers until Namjoon spoke softly “I can teach you, if you want” and I stopped moving completely. “But only if you’re okay with that” he blushes and hurriedly adds. I stopped his rambling though as I nodded my head with a quiet “okay”. I watched as his eyes widened. He fumbled for words a little before he moved impossibly closer and leaned in. He hesitated though and pulled away to my confusion. “You have to ask me. It’s our rule.” He says it almost playfully but the look in his eyes contradicts his playful smirk. I knew he wanted my full consent before doing anything.

 I let out a nervous laugh before uttering the words, “Teach me how to kiss.” And he does.

I dreamed of Namjoon and soft yet heated kisses that night. Waking up, I was confused to see the surroundings of his apartment lit by the soft glow of sunlight peeking through the curtains. I froze as I felt movement under my head. I was fully resting on top of Namjoon with my ear pressed to his chest and I smiled as I heard the beating of his heart. He suddenly  took in a deep breath and moved around a bit and I quickly shut my eyes, hoping to stay in this moment for as long as possible. I didn’t know how he felt about last night. Was he only teaching me as a friend? Did he feel even half of what I felt for him? 

His lips were soft as they pressed against mine and I hesitantly returned the kiss. His right hand came to cup my face softly as his head tilted slightly. I felt my heart pounding and the blood coursing through my body like electricity. I pulled away from him slowly, anxious for his next words. “Was that okay?” I spoke quietly and after a moment of silence I looked up to meet his eyes. He didn’t speak, instead he kissed me again with more emotions present than before. I placed my hands onto his chest before moving them to the nape of his neck. I played with the small curls there and felt him shiver in response. He was the one to pull away this time and he moved his hands to my hips before pulling me onto his lap. I was now straddling him and dazed at the sight of his flushed face and red lips. “You’re a natural, Y/N, and as much as I’m enjoying this I think I asked you what you played in the background when you made out with someone.”

My racing thoughts and fluttering heart came to an abrupt halt as I felt Namjoon lean down awkwardly to press his lips against the top of my head. I couldn’t help the wide grin that appeared as a result of his action. I opened one eye and turned to look up at him. He chuckled as he realized he had been caught. “Mornin’, Moonlight” He spoke in his gravely morning voice. I felt my cheeks start to ache slightly due to the size of my smile. “Good morning, Joon” I could only manage a whisper, too scared to shatter the blissful sight and moments of this morning. 

We stared at each other for a bit until the buzzing of Namjoon’s phone caught our attention. Jimin was calling him, however, he made no move to answer it until I pinched his side gently with a glare. “Not answering your best friend’s call is rude you know.” He rolled his eyes playfully before declining the call completely. “Yeah, well calling your best friend while he’s cuddling with a gorgeous girl this early is even worse.” He smirked at me and I sat up slowly while he groaned at the loss of warmth. I moved to straddle his lap and played with his soft hair while he looked up at me with a soft smile on his face. “Hey, what are you staring at, loser?” He shook his head softly and leaned into my hands in his hair.

“You.” He spoke softly with his eyes closed in bliss and a smile on his face and I couldn’t stop myself from leaning down and pressing my lips against his even if I had tried to. He smiled into the kiss before placing his hands onto my thighs and kissing me back. We moved together like a perfect symphony. A rolling wave on the ocean. Ink flowing against the page of a classic novel. I pulled away for air but stayed close to him as he moved his lips to my cheek and slowly kissed down to my neck and the sweet spot he had found the night before. 

“Namjoon” I sighed out as his lips worked against my neck sensually. I moved my hands to his hair and lightly tugged against the strands. He moaned against my neck and his teeth grazed a spot that had me shuddering and letting out a small whimper. He moved his head back up to face me. “Found it.” He stated cockily and I rolled my eyes before pressing my lips against his again, effectively wiping the smug smirk from his face. I felt his tongue brush against my lips and I decided to tease him before granting entrance. He grunted and bit my bottom lip lightly in frustration. I gasped at the sensation and he took the opportunity of my lips parting to explore the new territory.

“Joon, eventually we’re gonna have to go to work and open up for the day.” I spoke to rid my head of the memories of the night before. The groan he let out in response made the butterflies in my stomach appear. “Five more minutes” He muttered and I laughed before grabbing his phone on the coffee table to see how long we had before needing to leave before I gasped and my eyes widened. “Joon, get up. We’re so late, shit.” It was 10 AM and the shop should’ve been open two hours ago. He sat up slowly while squinting his eyes adorably. I shoved his phone into his hand and rushed off of him to head to my apartment for clean clothes. I heard a soft “Shit” as I closed the door behind me.

I bolted into my room and grabbed the first items I saw, which unknowingly included a baby pink, lace thong from Namjoon’s prank. I shoved my legs through my jean shorts and found some comfortable shoes before grabbing my keys and running out the door. Namjoon was already waiting by the elevator doors, tapping his foot impatiently. I let out a breathy laugh as I ran to meet him. He smiled at my presence before looking me up and down. He squinted slightly at the top of my head and laughed as the elevator doors opened. I patted my hair before feeling the slight knots left from not brushing it. As we moved down to the lobby I reached up to fix it as much as I could with my fingers before giving up and reaching for the hair tie around my wrist.

I lifted my arms up to gather all my hair into a messy ponytail and unbeknownst to me, my flowy top lifted up and revealed the baby pink  lace above the hem of my shorts. I heard Namjoon cough and clear his throat suddenly as my hands fell to my sides and the doors opened. “You okay, Joon?” I looked up to him and noticed a slight blush and flustered expression. He tightly smiled and nodded his head before grabbing my hand in his and guiding us out of our building. It was now my turn to blush at his sudden action and the feel of his hand in mine. 

We walked quickly so as to not be even more late to our own businesses. We approached the Hideout Cafe first and Namjoon reached into his back pocket for the keys to the shop. He kept his hand securely in mine as he tried to find the right key. He dropped the key ring onto the concrete before grumbling out some curses. I chuckled and leaned down in front of him to pick them up. I heard him choke out a gasp before I leaned back up to face him with a smile. He quickly took the keys from my hand and before I could think, he leaned down to kiss me before resting his forehead against mine and huskily whispering “I thought you threw out those fucking panties, babygirl.” He pulled back after kissing my cheek and he unlocked the shop before entering, leaving me hot and flustered on the sidewalk outside. 

The walk to my bakery after that was a blur. All I could sense was Namjoon. His whispers in my ear. His hand in mine. His shy smile full of dimples and crinkled eyes. His cologne surrounding me as I was in his arms. The taste of his kiss. The sight of his wink and smile as he walked into his shop. I barely realized I was inside the bakery until Mal called out for me.

“You okay, babe? You look pale.” I took in a deep breath before pushing her hands away from my face. “We need to talk. In the back. Now.” Her eyes widened and turned serious at my words. As I moved to the kitchen and started pacing, Mal moved to turn the ‘Open’ sign to ‘Closed’ before bolting to the back. She stood with her hands on her hips and eyed me pacing frantically before stopping me with a gentle hand on my shoulder. 

“Y/N, all you need to tell me is his first initial and I’ll find him within the week and beat his as-” I cut her off by blurting out “Namjoon and I kissed.” Her eyes widened once again and her jaw dropped before she started smugly smiling. She squealed and pulled me into a tight hug as she rambled about venues and summer versus spring weddings and I looked down at my shoes at her words. “So how did it happen? How long have you two been a thing and why didn’t I know sooner?” I sighed and looked at the excitement covering her face. “We’re not a ‘thing’ and we probably never will be. We’ve been hanging out a lot more recently and teaching each other our favorite things and last night we kissed a lot and I was on his lap and then I woke up with him on his couch and fuck, Mal I’m so scared.”

“Woah, hey what’s wrong? Did you not want him to kiss you?” I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. I really wanted him to kiss me. I really wanted to do it again. But I was really scared to admit it. I felt tears well up in my eyes and Mal pulled me into her arms and shushed my quiet sobs. “I really like him, Mal.” I whispered. She pulled back and brushed some hair out of my face before gently holding my face in her hands. “Then what’s so wrong about kissing the guy you like? He wouldn’t have done it if he wasn’t at least slightly interested in you too.” 

I closed my eyes and saw his sleepy smile and bright eyes. I opened them again and voiced my fears, “Because I’m not good enough. He deserves so much more than some broken girl who’s too scared to kiss him in public or even admit to him how she feels. I’m fucked up, Mal. He doesn’t deserve someone like me.” Mal squinted her eyes as I finished.

“Are you done? Good. Number one, you might need to brush your teeth after spewing that much bullshit. Number two, you’re completely right. He doesn’t deserve someone like you. A beautiful, strong, kind, funny, talented, amazing woman who I’m lucky enough to call my best friend. So what if you’re scared about PDA, you said it yourself that you guys aren't anything official so that’s completely understandable. And number three, you never have been and never will be broken. You’ve gone through so much and no one expects you to be one hundred percent healed or back to normal after that. You are worth so much. Okay?” We were both crying as I nodded. I was lucky to have her.

“You’ve been so happy recently and I honestly feel dumb that I didn’t realize why sooner. If he makes you happy then talk to him about this. Let yourself have something good because you deserve it.” I thanked her and held her tightly. “Oh and don’t think you’re off the hook. We are definitely going to talk in full detail about last night and all those times you’ve ‘hung out’ alone together.” I laughed and rolled my eyes before wiping under my eyes. 

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” 

I was cleaning up the shop after closing for the day when the bell above the door sounded. I groaned as I realized I hadn’t locked it yet and now had to deal with late night customers. “We’re closed.” I called from the back, too tired to go up front. “Aw damn. Even for your favorite customer?” A familiar voice spoke in faux disappointment and I felt the butterflies burst to life in my stomach. I smiled and walked up to the register, suddenly full of energy. 

“Bold of you to assume you’re my favorite.” I tilted my head and watched him smile as I appeared. “And to think, I was going to surprise you with a date and everything.” Namjoon shook his head and shrugged his shoulders before turning to leave. I laughed before running to grab his arm. “Well I guess I can make an exception for my favorite customer. But just for tonight.” He turned to me with a bright smile and leaned in to kiss me. I pulled away from him before he could though. He looked confused but brushed it off. 

“I need an order of your best creation.” I bit my lip and thought about what I would make before remembering the cupcakes I had made a few weeks ago. I had thankfully scribbled down the recipe and knew they would be relatively easy. “Only if I have some company while I make it.” I turned to walk into the kitchen and felt his presence behind me. I grabbed all the ingredients listed in my binder of recipes and got to work. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Namjoon picking up the binder and inspecting the page with my messy scrawl. 

“I asked for company so I had someone to talk to, not someone to snoop around and be nosy.” I smiled but never shifted my attention to him. He breathed out a laugh and moved to stand behind me. I felt his arms wrap loosely around my waist and his head rested on my shoulder. He sighed against my back and I leaned into him slightly. “Why doesn’t this one have a name? All the other pages have names at the top but this one just had question marks.” 

“I just came up with this on a whim. Didn’t really have any names in mind. I guess I just forgot to come back to it.” I spoke truthfully as I stirred the ingredients together to form a smooth batter. Namjoon hummed in response and I continued working with his arms around me. When I had to place the cupcakes into the oven I nudged his arm with my elbow and he groaned. “‘M comfy.” He mumbled and I laughed as I struggled to unravel his frame from mine. 

“Weren’t you the one who promised a surprise date?” I reminded him and saw his eyes instantly light back up as a blush slowly appeared on his cheeks. “Do you want that?” He questioned silently and scratched at the back of his neck. I closed the oven and turned to face him with furrowed brows. “Want what? A surprise? Cause that’s kinda why I’m baking these-” “I meant the date. Did you want it to be a date? Because if you don’t then that’s fine too.” He cut me off with nerves lacing his words. 

“Yeah. I would love that. Why did you think I would say no?” I questioned with a matching blush on my face. “Well you just, you kinda rejected me up front when I tried to kiss you so.” I looked down in embarrassment before taking Mal’s advice from earlier. “I was just scared.” I paused and looked up to meet his eyes before continuing, “I really like you, Joon. I just didn’t want to get my hopes up by kissing you if you didn’t feel the same.” I played with my fingers anxiously as I waited for his response. He smiled largely before finally breaking the silence. “You don’t have to be scared, Moonlight. Cause I really like you too.”

When I finished up the cupcakes we packed them up and walked hand in hand to our date. I was giddy as we swung our hands between our bodies. When we stopped in front of the Hideout I was confused. “Is this your surprise? Making me another coffee at 10 PM?” I questioned him but he didn’t respond. He unlocked the door and held it open for me. I narrowed my eyes at his smug smile and walked into the dark shop. I stood awkwardly in the middle of the shop and looked around in confusion.

“Joon, I appreciate the effort but I-” I stopped speaking as the shop was suddenly lit up by the few strands of fairy lights in the corner by the reading area. I gasped at the sight. Instead of shelves of books and pillows, there were large, comfy blankets covering the entire section with Namjoon standing at the entrance holding a laptop. “I know it’s not much but I just thought it would be cute or that you would like it cause I remembered how much you liked it over here last time.” I walked up to meet him at the entrance with a large smile on my face. He looked nervous again and I couldn’t understand why. 

“It’s perfect, Joon. Thank you.” I leaned in to punctuate my statement with a short kiss before pulling back the blanket behind him to crawl into the makeshift fort. He entered a few seconds after me and settled on my right side before opening his laptop. While the shelves of books were covered on the outside of the fort, the interior was filled with the sight of them. The soft glow of the string lights and comfort of the pillows and blankets set the perfect environment for reading and I darted my eyes across the different titles in awe. 

“You there, Moonlight?” Namjoon called out and I shifted my gaze onto him easily. I raised my eyebrows and turned to face him, not realizing he had been calling for me. “I asked what movie you wanted to watch.” I felt my face flush for the millionth time that night and bit my lip as I debated on what I should answer. “Could we maybe read something instead?” I spoke hesitantly but the grin on his face as he shut his laptop eased my fears. “Whatever you want.” I smiled and grabbed the familiar title on my left. 

“Have you read this before?” I asked softly. He shook his head but never lost the small grin on his lips or diverted his eyes from mine. “Well it’s a personal favorite of mine, so get ready to experience literary genius.” I moved to get more comfortable and ended up laying on Namjoon’s chest while his hands played with my hair. 

“Chapter one.”

“Are you even listening to the story?” I questioned accusingly. Namjoon smiled innocently despite being caught staring at the side of my face for the third time in the past ten minutes. Meeting up after closing had become a routine for the two of us. He would meet me at the bakery and ‘help’ me bake something for the night ahead. Usually we get to the Hideout and read after eating a bit and get through at least a chapter or two before he distracts me with kisses or tickles. Tonight, however, Namjoon was dead set on staring into the side of my face laying on his chest. “Of course I’m listening, Moonlight. Why’d you stop?” He smirked and I rolled my eyes with a sigh before continuing.

“As he looked into her eyes he saw nothing but pain and sorrow. The guilt he felt consumed him but he had no choice. He turned away as he heard her choke out a heart wrenching sob-” I was cut off by Namjoon kissing me for the fifth time that night. I giggled lightly against his lips but made sure to keep my spot in our book. “Joon, it’s been four days and we’re still only on chapter 10 of 45. As much as I love your kisses, we need to actually read the book in order to finish it.” He moved his lips to my left cheek and down my jawline as I spoke.

I lightly pushed his head away and playfully glared at him while he pouted. “But it’s so sad. Honestly, I don’t know why she keeps going back to him and shit when he only hurts her. Guilty or not, he’s still fucked for cheating on her like that.” He reached for a leftover cupcake in the box next to him while I grinned. He let out a low moan as he took a bite and I felt my body ignite with heat. “Fuck, these are always so amazing. I can’t believe you don’t sell them anymore.” He spoke with his mouth partially full and I rolled my eyes at his boyish behavior.

“I’ve told you a million times, I can’t sell something without a name.” He threw his head back with a groan and I laughed at his frustration. “Well let’s come up with something then. It’s better than reading about heartbreak.” I sat up from my spot on his chest and faced him fully. “It needs a catchy name, that’s for sure. It also needs to hint at the surprise inside.” He licked the stray frosting around his mouth as he spoke animatedly. I took in the appearance of the man in front of me. He was in some basic sweatpants and a hoodie since after night two we had decided it was best to change into more comfortable clothes to read after closing.

“The surprise inside?” I laughed, “What, do you mean the filling?” He rolled his eyes and waved his hand in dismissal. “You know what I mean. You’re just not expecting it but it's a good surprise for sure.” His explanation brought a memory to mind.  

Sitting innocently on top of my dresser was a little note with his messy scrawl reading ‘Gotcha ;)’ 

“Gotcha.” I spoke quietly with a smile, remembering the first prank he had pulled on me so long ago. “What?” He questioned innocently, taking another bite of the cupcake in his hand while his free one came to rest on my thigh. “Gotcha. That’s what I’m naming it.” He furrowed his brow in confusion and tilted his head slightly to the side. He was silent for a bit before looking at me with hope and excitement. “Why?” He asked with fake confusion, but the giddy smile forming on his face revealed his true intentions. I smiled and sighed loudly before looking away dramatically. “I guess because it reminds me of the time a loser stole all my underwear and left me a note saying that on top of my dresser.” He laughed loudly and I turned to look at the sight of his bright eyes crinkled at the sides and his prominent dimples. 

“Fuck, you’re perfect.” He spoke softly with a look of fondness on his face. I flushed and looked down at the hand on my thigh that was rubbing soft circles. “Be my girlfriend.” I moved my head up so quickly I thought my neck would snap. “What?” I spoke in shock. “I don’t want someone else to be with you. And I really don’t want to be with anyone other than you. I know we’ve never really put an official label on anything but fuck it. So, will you?” He looked nervous but his eyes showed nothing but honesty.

“About damn time.” I spoke after releasing a breath I didn’t realize I was holding in. I grabbed his face and kissed him passionately. I was smiling widely but he didn’t mind as he moved his hand from my thigh to my waist. Our kisses turned heated as his tongue brushed across the seam of my lips urgently. I pulled back and leaned in to whisper in his ear, “I think you were right about movies. They make great background noise for making out.” His breath hitched and I watched as he fumbled for his laptop. I giggled and straddled his lap as he furiously typed in his password for Netflix.

I lightly feathered kisses onto his jaw and down his neck. I felt the vibrations as he groaned at my actions. “Fuck, how have you only been kissed for the first time last week?” I let out a breathy laugh as I sat up from my slightly hunched form. “I think I got the basics down pretty quickly thanks to my teacher. But I think I’m ready to learn something else from them.”  His eyes darkened and before I knew it I was being rolled onto my back as the opening sounds from Avengers: Infinity War played in the background.

“Babygirl, I’ll teach you anything you want to know.” He smirked as he started moving down my body.

I was sure the smile on my face would become permanent after how long it had been painted on. We didn’t go all the way but we definitely made some progress on my lessons. I was laying on the blanketed floor with Namjoon resting on my chest. I was wearing his hoodie and my sleep shorts from earlier while he was left in his sweatpants and a bare chest. I was looking at the soft lights around me while my hand was playing with the messy curls tickling my chin. The sounds of the Avengers battling Thanos in Wakanda paired with Namjoon’s soft snores was lulling me to sleep slowly but surely. 

I knew we would both regret sleeping on the hard floor of the Hideout in the morning, but

at the moment I couldn’t find it in myself to care. I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath, ready to fall asleep when a notification sounded from the laptop. I turned slightly to see what it was but suddenly felt all possibility of sleep and tiredness drain from my body. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions but I had to try and make sense of what I saw.

GM<3: i miss you:(

I tried to calm myself before overreacting. It could be a relative or someone close to him. He just told me earlier how wrong cheating was. He wouldn’t do thi- Another notification sounded and effectively cut off my racing thoughts. I felt more confident in the situation as I looked at the incoming text but it’s contents only made me feel sick.

GM<3: when are you coming over again? 

GM<3: please say soon:( you left pretty quick the other night

GM<3: i love you, talk soon <3

I felt tears threatening to spill and was confused. I thought of every possible explanation but none of them were innocent or made any sense. I was hurt. I was angry. But mostly, I was numb. The thought I was dreading the most kept circling my mind. I didn’t want to believe it but it made too much sense.

You fell for the greatest prank of all. You believed he actually felt anything for you.

I felt hot tears fall down my face while one word played on a loop in my head. A heartbreaking lullaby played like a broken record.

Gotcha.

I was frozen. I didn’t move or sleep at all that night. My body ached from the hard floor and lack of movement but all I focused on was the heartache and racing thoughts that hadn’t seized through the night. The sun started to rise and I took it as my cue to leave and head to my shop. I carefully moved and tried to remove myself from Namjoon’s tight grip on my hips. I freed myself eventually and felt hot tears welling up in my eyes. I grabbed my clothes from the day before along with my other belongings and headed to the front door.

I placed my hand on the door handle and hesitated. Talk to him. “Let yourself have something good”. I turned to look at his frame under the dim glow of the rising sun and felt the lump in my throat grow. I forced myself to look away and walk out the door before I could change my mind. I made it to the front door of my shop before breaking down and crying. I told you so. 

I wiped my tears and stood up straight before unlocking the door and walking in, determined to bottle it up and not talk about it. The faster I avoided Kim Namjoon and everything involving him, the better. I silently worked throughout the day with a tight smile and locked my phone up in the storage area so I wouldn’t see any missed calls or texts. Mal could sense something was up but didn’t push me. 

As the clock moved closer to closing time I panicked. He was surely going to come by to walk us back to his shop. “Hey, Mal? I just remembered I have to head back to my place early tonight. Do you mind closing up for me?” I spoke with a shaky voice and Mal’s questioning glance almost broke my act. “Of course. Just take care of yourself.” She spoke sincerely and I let out a breath of relief at her words. I threw off my apron and grabbed my belongings again before heading home. Namjoon would probably try to get me to read the book with him but I couldn’t face him. I walked quickly past the Hideout and his apartment before collapsing into my bed. I made sure to lock my front door and bedroom door for extra precaution.

I screamed into my pillow as I sobbed. 

This routine went on for the next three days. I started leaving my phone at my apartment after it died. I didn’t have the energy to look at it or charge it to see the messages I had waiting for me. I opened my door at 5 AM to start my new routine of avoiding Namjoon. I was fearful that he might try to come into my shop during the day but so far he hadn’t. That fear came back like a crashing wave, however, as I heard a body fall onto the floor of my apartment when I opened the front door to leave. 

A tired looking Namjoon stood quickly and sighed in relief as he saw me. He reached out to hold my face as he spoke, “Fuck, Moonlight, I’m so glad you’re okay. You haven’t responded to my texts or been at the shop when I stopped by and I was so fucking worried.” He leaned in to kiss me and I pushed his hands off me. He looked confused at my actions but I looked away as anger and hurt filled me.

“Maybe that was for a reason.” I mumbled out as I crossed my shaking hands around my frame. “What? Moon, what’s wrong?” He reached for my hand again and I turned around to walk into my apartment. I heard the door close softly and his quiet footsteps following me. “Baby, you need to let me know-” I spun around at the pet name and pointed shakily at him. “No. You don’t get to call me that. You don’t get to hear about my life or what’s bothering me because it’s you. You’re the problem for me. You need to just stop. Stop kissing me and holding my hand and looking at me like I’m the only girl in your eyes and just making me feel like I’m actually worth something to you. Stop.” I was angry. The tears flowed freely down my face and my hand fell to my side as I finished my words.

Namjoon looked down and shook his head before looking back at me. “Moon, I don’t know what I did but all of that is never going to stop. I never want to stop kissing you or holding your hand or showing you how I really feel about you. You are the only girl in my eyes-” I cut him off with a scoff “Bullshit! How can you just lie like that. I saw the texts that night Namjoon. You fell asleep and when you did you got some texts from another girl. Congratulations, you win. Once again you’ve utterly broken me.”

“What texts? There is no other girl, I promise you. Please, I never meant to hurt you, especially like this.” He was starting to tear up and his voice broke as he finished but I stood my ground. “And I would’ve believed you if I hadn’t seen the texts for myself. I hope you and ‘GM’ are happy together because it seems like you two made it longer than a few hours since you’re already in love.” He scrunched his face up at my words. “Wait. Hold on. GM?” He breathed out a laugh as he spoke. His words cut me like a knife. 

“So you used me and cheated on me and can’t even try to act serious about it? Fuck you, Namjoon.” I moved to walk past him and into my bedroom but he grabbed my arm before I could. “Wait, Moon, no. My sister’s name is Geong Min. That’s who you saw text me that night. I’m telling you the truth, you’re the only girl for me.” He turned my body to face him as he spoke with a small smile. 

I furrowed my eyebrows at his confession. “You have a sister? Wait, why did she ask you to come over and say that you left quick the last time?” He smiled largely as he spoke. “I went to her place the night I set up the Hideout for us because I had to borrow her blankets and lights. And I also needed her advice on if the date was even a good idea.” I sighed and hugged him close to me. “I’m a fucking idiot, I’m so sorry, Joon.” 

He held me against him tightly and moved us side to side. “You’ve always been more than enough for me. You are worth so much to me and to everyone you come into contact with. I know it’s scary to have these feelings, because, Moon, I’m fucking terrified too. But I promise you that you’re all I want. I never want to hurt you and I never want to see us like that again. You’re more than worth it, Moon.” He pulled us slightly apart as he looked into my eyes for his final words and I felt tears welling up again as I smiled.

“You deserve better than someone who can’t love you back the way you need to be. I’ve never felt like this and I know it’s too soon to say I’m in love with you but I know for a fact that I’m falling.” I spoke softly. He smiled and leaned down to press his forehead against mine while I closed my eyes. “Ask me, Moonlight.” He whispered. “Ask me to teach you how to be loved.” He pressed his lips to my forehead then moved down to press a kiss to each cheek and the tip of my nose before pulling back to look in my eyes and wait for my answer.

He returned the smile that grew on my face and laughed as he leaned down to kiss me properly after I spoke softly,“Teach me how to be loved, Joon.” 

And he did.

[hezurkubo]

When D’jinn meets Gene or “Dramatic Pot Twist!”

Hey there! Just wanted to start off by saying that in order to give this story the desired outcome I was looking for I added in some extra events that I thought could have canonically taken place during certain key moments in “The Last Adventure!” While we as the audience don’t know what happened to everyone else while the main characters were off driving the main plot along I still tried to come up with a side story that seemed plausible at least in terms of timing.

If I overlooked anything and it comes off as complete nonsense that throws off the original plot than please consider this an AU where the side characters play a more proactive role in kicking the butts of F.O.W.L.’s lackeys while our main cast took care of Bradford. This is mostly to satisfy my craving for a meeting that never happened in canon and I still hope that whoever decides to read enjoys this dumb story of mine. With that said.........

“SHABOOEY!”

That was all Gene managed to exclaim before he felt himself vanish in a dramatic flash. He found himself being dragged through the pocket void between realities, a place he’d frequented many times since his existence had been tied to the trinket he’d been forced to call home. While he had yet to feel the familiar power of the ‘Seal of Solion’ connecting him to his lamp, he knew it was only a matter of time.

 “Huh, wish I coulda at least thanked her for saving me. Guess now it’s back to the good ol...”

His thoughts were interrupted by a rather abrupt tug to the side through a sudden blinding light, giving Gene just enough time to let out a yelp before tumbling beak first onto a cold hard surface. Groaning as he got to his feet, the duck had to double-take as he got a first look at his surroundings. 

And it was, unfortunately, a very familiar site.

He’d become well acquainted with the row upon row of containment units in which the people F.O.W.L. saw as threats to their ‘final goal’ were imprisoned.

“Oh-keeeeey, so.... another dramatic plot twist, shoulda expected that in a ninety minute finale, though not so much for a short cameo appearance.”

Although he was pretty sure what would happen, and despite knowing the repercussions, Gene focused his power and winced in painful anticipation as he tried to will himself out of the current space he occupied.  

“Okey three, two, one...SHABOOEY!”

He felt a small spark of magic begin to bubble up within him, allowing him to hope that maybe he could....

ZAP!

The genie doubled over as a short but powerful electric shock coursed through his body. He had been unfortunate enough to witness others struggle for freedom and receive the same treatment, and while he doubted it’d be different for him he felt that he at least had to try. After all, he was magic and it couldn’t possibly hurt that bad....right?

He had been partially correct, but it was still VERY unpleasant.

Thankfully the shock wore off quickly, but rather than test his chances again he moved to the center of the cubicle and sat in the dark, drawing his legs into himself as he rested his arms atop of them and let out a sigh.

 “Guess old Blotty really made sure I couldn’t get out of dodge.”

“Not like I’d have a choice anyway...” Gene couldn’t help but think bitterly while resting the the bottom of his beak on his arm. He’d already exchanged one prison for another, so what difference did it make? 

Gene let the moments tick on by as he attempted to drown out everything else, which had so far been surprisingly easy despite being surrounded by people....

...And then, despite his best efforts, a familiar thought reared it’s ugly head.

Many of these people were trapped here because of him.

Because the Blot had used his power.

Because he had given him the information needed to capture them.

And he had watched helplessly, his screams for them to run drowned out by their own as they were zapped of their magic, easy for the Eggheads to swoop them up and bring them to this hopeless place while they waited to be done away with for good.

 And now Gene was here. He supposed it was fitting, as unwilling as an accomplice he had been in all of this, he still felt deep despair for having been used as a tool for the inevitable destruction of so many innocent lives.

And he would join them. Gene buried his head further into his lap, holding back sniffles as he felt his eyes stinging.

“...At least it’s roomier in here...”

“KA-BOOM!”

“Gyaaa!!! Bees!!! AAAHHH!”

The genie’s head quickly shot up, eyes widening as he took in the commotion echoing off the library’s lofty walls. Scrambling to his feet, he dashed to the front of his cell, pressing his ear against the glass. 

Someone was fighting out there, and from the sounds of it they were facing off against Steelbeak. 

The kid that had freed him, her friends were still fighting F.O.W.L.

Gene couldn’t fight the small smile that began to spread across his beak despite his teary eyes.

He would never be free, not even if he got out of here. But everyone else still had a chance. There was still hope that this could be made right.

“And the plot thickens!”

 __________

Faris Djinn watched helplessly from his prison as Scrooge’s allies valiantly fought against the rooster F.O.W.L. Agent. Clenching his fists to his sides, the desire to unsheathe his sword and join them against these honorless enemies boiled within him, but he knew it was of no use so long as he was trapped like this. Still, that gave him all the more reason to wish to help the group of birds somehow. This was finally everyone’s chance to escape! 

The canine warrior had been brought to this strange place after being ambushed and knocked unconscious by his cowardly foe, whom he had barely caught a glimpse of. When he woke up, he was surrounded by blocks of blacked out cubes in what looked like a giant storage facility. After about a day or two, he learned that his first assumptions had been somewhat true. 

From what he’d gathered through listening to hushed conversations exchanged while the security guards were busy, and from a few familiar faces detained with him, including his good friend Amunet, he came to realize they had been brought there because they had been labeled as dangerous by simply knowing or associating with Scrooge McDuck and his family. 

From close family members and friends to bitter enemies, or from good and bad to neutral, nobody seemed to be spared. It made D’jinn seethe at the injustice of it all, while villains such as the Beagle Boys and the infamous Magica de Spell may have deserved such treatment, this F.O.W.L. organization was indiscriminately locking away so many innocent people. He had even seen them lock up a couple of elderly ducks that could have easily passed as Scrooge’s own parents 

(Impossible, he thought, for a man of McDuck’s age)

 but not before the old woman had let loose a string of unintelligible words that D’jinn was pretty sure were some colorful expletives.

It appeared that the enemy had overlooked nothing, and any means of escape had been locked away along with them. The canine began to lose track of time as freedom seemed more and more impossible.

But D’jinn remained resolute that if anyone could pull off the impossible, it’d be Scrooge McDuck.

 Then, a strangely dressed duck decked in a dark flowing cape and hat swooped in, followed by his heavily armored companion, and while they were acting antagonistic towards each other the dog had a feeling they had come to help. His hopes soared even higher when Scrooge’s pilot crashed in after them. At last help had come.

Then that nefarious Steelbeak had chosen to fight underhandedly, controlling the Beagle Boys and the dread sorceress herself as the heroes fought valiantly back before being imprisoned as well, and any hope of freedom appeared to rest on the shoulders of Launchpad McQuack, Scrooge’s pilot.

 D’jinn winced as the poor duck was thrown about and beaten to the ground, unfairly outmatched in strength and numbers.

“Get back up!”

“You got this!”

As big and strong as he seemed in appearance, the warrior canine doubted the pilot could last at this rate, watching from the dark with urgency as he struggled to lift his head.

“Ugh... I’m sorry, I’m no hero...”

D’jinn shook with righteous indignation.

‘No! You cannot give up...!’

He couldn’t just stand by, there had to be something he could do to help, anything....

“That’s ridiculous! You helped inspire me to be a hero!”

He watched in anticipation as Launchpad gathered enough strength to look their way, unsure gaze focused on his friends as they encouraged him to keep fighting.

“And me pal.”

A new source of light brought their attention to the square that held the young red headed duck and the strangely proportioned robot child, both looking back at Launchpad with hope and confidence.

“Same here.” 

The prison above them lit up, revealing a familiar Moonlander.

“I as well, Earth Launchpad.”

The room quickly grew brighter as, one after another, everyone stepped forward to show the duck that they believed in him. 

And so did D’jinn.

His cubicle lit up as his hope returned.

“Blabbidy-Baloonersize!”

....Later....

Gene watched elated as scores of people poured out from their now-opened confines and began to wreak havoc on anyone unlucky enough to be a F.O.W.L. lackey. It was an unspoken call to arms, inspired by Scrooge’s pilot and, while the genie hadn’t seen what had actually happened, Steelbeak running away while screaming in terror was a pretty clear indication that the good guys were gaining the upper hand. 

Gene was so relieved that everyone had been freed, he almost missed Launchpad and company dashing towards the main entrance before slipping out of sight. 

He took another look around him, and couldn’t help but quirk the edges of his beak up in a mischievous grin.

  “Well.... dunno how long I’ll be sticking around for, might as well be part of the fun...”

“SHABOOEY!!!”

_______

There was low buzz followed by a click, and suddenly the front of his enclosure swung open. Eyes narrowing in careful focus, D’jinn stepped out from his prison and into what was quickly becoming a losing battle for F.O.W.L.’s remaining underlings.

Scrooge’s family had been triumphant, and he was now free to assist in thwarting what remained of their foes once and for all. The canine reached for his hip, unsheathing his sword and slicing it through the air before resting it with his arm against his side. The McDucks may be fighting greater forces, but that didn’t mean there weren’t loose ends to tie up.

“SHABOOEY!”

Ears perking under his keffiyeh, D’jinn turned to the side and lifted his head just in time to see something rather peculiar rounding the corner. It appeared to be a small duck, but he was gliding through the air as if there was nothing to it, a trail of smoke billowing from his lower body.

For a single moment, D’jinn lost his carefully guarded composure as his eyes widened in shock and his jaw dropped.

It was as if all those fantastic stories he’d heard growing up had come to life in front of him.

He recalled the hushed conversations among a few of his fellow prisoners, all regarding the terrifying power the Phantom Blot wielded when he came after them. 

However, what now came to the forefront of D’jinn’s mind were their descriptions of the strange and obviously magical little guy smooshed to an impossible degree within the Blot’s gauntlet. He didn’t quite understand what they could be referring to, but now, despite his usually serious demeanor, D’jinn couldn’t stop the small bit of wonderment from rising up in him, momentarily forgetting where he was.

“Could it really be...?” 

A loud crash from above followed by a chorus of screaming Eggheads brought him back to reality. The warrior shook his head, scowling to himself for losing focus.

“No, I must not waver! The task at hand requires a warrior’s spirit!”

Sword at the ready, D’jinn quickly made his way towards the sounds of fighting, the lingering thoughts of his ancestors replaced with the challenge to come. He still chanced to glance back one more time at the spot he had last seen that duck, hoping that he’d be able to see him again once all of this was over.

....Later....

With F.O.W.L. defeated and it’s remaining agents scattered, everyone wasted no time in congratulating the heroes of the hour, rushing at McDuck and family as they made their way down the library tower. It was a whirlwind of joyful cries and relieved sighs as the exhausted but happy family meandered amongst the crowd, breaking up into teams to prepare for their departure.

With everything finally settling down, Gene casually sat in midair as everyone else began to disperse and make preparations of their own, all the while chatting amongst each other. He figured it must have been a sense of camaraderie that came with surviving such an ordeal, and while he wished he could fully indulge in the same feelings of comfort, he couldn’t help but feel on edge. 

The powers that bound him to the lamp hadn’t reclaimed him yet. 

He knew that couldn’t last much longer, whatever forces the Phantom Blot had used to disrupt the seal’s power and separate him from his prison

....no, home....

wouldn’t be able to hold on their own, now that the Blot was gone and Gene was free from any magic-proof confinement. 

Earlier, before the extra trepidation had sunk in, he did try to enjoy his temporary freedom for as long as it lasted. 

And oh, how he wished it lasted. 

The genie chatted briefly with the young sorceress that had freed him, but not until after she and a younger hummingbird finally stopped hugging the pink clad girl, who he recognized as the little spitfire who tied him up and interrogated him during the entertaining fiasco that was Donald’s wish for a ‘perfect family’. 

Despite the now growing feeling that this would all end soon, Gene had enjoyed himself. It was nice to just interact with others again and not be at someone’s beck and call. While he did like using his powers to have fun with mortals, there were more than enough terrible things he’d been forced to do, and the ability to simply be among people he knew couldn’t demand something of him was a rare reprieve.  One he probably wouldn’t be getting again.

Now, with the excitement beginning to wind down, Gene decided to take in the busy atmosphere, not expecting anyone to notice him up there with how preoccupied they all were. 

“Pardon me...”

The duck quickly spun around in midair, looking down and catching the sharp gaze of a rather serious looking canine all dressed in dark, save for a few splashes of red. He was staring up at him so intensely that Gene jokingly thought if he looked at him any harder lasers would shoot from his eyes.

“Hmmm... an interesting side character, guess a little more mingling wouldn’t hurt.”

Without missing a beat, Gene floated down from his place above the crowd to hover at eye level with the stranger.

 “Well He-llo there! Always nice to meet a new face!” he said eagerly, flashing a grin that he hoped came off as charismatic and giving a wink.

The dog’s eyes widened for a few seconds before returning to his serious expression. Trying to act nonplussed by the lack of enthusiasm, the duck waved his arm to conjure a neon sign above him, his name spelled in blinking lights. Smile unwavering, he held out his hand.

“Name’s Gene! Nice to meet ya!”

The dog stared at the outstretched appendage, his hesitance causing Gene’s excitement to falter. Luckily, it wasn’t long before he was reaching out and gripping his hand in a firm but friendly shake.

“Faris D’jinn. It is an honor.” He said, head bowing slightly.

“Woah, an honor? Kinda formal, but I think I like it.”

Gene suddenly perked in realization. ‘Faris’, if he recalled, meant knight or horseman, and he couldn’t help but think how it suited the noble looking gentleman in front of him. And with a surname like ‘D’jinn’, well, why would the genie not find that interesting? He became so uncharacteristically lost in these thoughts that he almost failed to realize that his companion was staring at him a bit oddly, and he was suddenly aware that he was still holding his hand. 

Awkwardly clearing his throat, Gene hovered back slightly while relinquishing his grip, trying to hide how awkward he felt by widening his smile.

He was sure he looked half crazy.

“Well Mr. D’jinn, I must say it’s a pleasure to meet such polite and proper ol’ gent and- Ooooh!”

Gene was at his side so fast that the warrior nearly jumped away in surprise as the genie’s eyes sparkled with curiosity at the sight of his sword’s hilt peeking from his robes.

“Oh-hoho, that’s quite a blade you got there. It almost looks like... I wanna say late Mamluk dynasty, Burji maybe...? But that can’t be right, unless it’s a really good replica.”

If D’jinn was shocked by his educated guess he hid it well, although Gene did notice the dog’s brow raise slightly from were it was hidden under the hem of his headdress.

“You are quite wise, although I would not expect anything less from a great and mystical genie.”

Gene’s eyes shot up from the finely crafted blade to the canine’s face. The gaze that met him was serious but not in a way that came off as cruel or accusatory. Still, that look, accompanied by such a bold statement, made the duck want to buckle his knees and shrink into himself.

Just who was this guy?

“Are you not a genie?”

The duck suppressed the urge to gulp at the quiet forcefulness behind the simple inquiry. It was after all a sensible question, he did more or less fit the description of his kind, though he liked to think he set himself apart with his showman’s flare because, servant or not, he still liked seeing others smile.

Now, his inner showman was currently at a loss for words, opting for wanting to hide his face in his turban.

“Get it together Genester! You heard him, how ‘great and mystical’ do you think you look right now?”

Trying to shake of the awkwardness, he disappeared from D’jinns side to reappear in front of him in a puff of smoke. 

“Yessir! One-hundred percent bonafide and certified wish-granting genie, that’s me!” Gene exclaimed, conjuring up a laminated license that read ‘Certified Genie: Gene C. Baba’ complete with a photo of himself smiling awkwardly while donning a thick pair eyeglasses and suspenders.

D’jinn stayed unwaveringly quiet as the duck nearly shoved the card to his face.

“He he... yeah, funny thing though, the whole ‘wish-granting’ part of my deal is a bit... compromised at the moment. Y’see, only the holder of a genie’s lamp can control said genie, i.e., me” Gene pulled an arrow out of thin air and pointed towards himself “and big bad and Blotty left my lamp behind along with the rest of the lost treasure of Collie Baba when he sucked me into that fancy oven-mitt of his, you’d think with all his magical know-how he wouldn’t forget that important tidbit, right?” 

Why did he sound so nervous?

“And I tell you what, I’m glad I’m not strapped to that thing anymore...!”

D’jinns eyes widened as a grim realization dawned on him.

“So, it is true. The device the Phantom Blot carried with him, the one he used to steal the magic from those he hunted...”

“I swear it was totally against my will!”

The canine shook his head. “No, I heard of its use from other captives, some who were brought here months before F.O.W.L. found me. Gene, how long have they kept you prisoner?”

The genie awkwardly rubbed one of his arms, looking away from D’jinn as the mood shifted drastically. While he may had been a little uncomfortable before, now he wanted to focus on anything but the dog in front of him. He might end up saying something that would break his facade, and he couldn’t....

“Technically, was already a prisoner. Y’know, the whole ‘genie in the lamp’ deal.”

“What are you doing?! Stop talking before...!”

“It’s like, I dunno... I’m almost glad this happened...”

“Idiot...”

“I mean not that I helped capture all those people or anything, because I still feel real bad about all that! It’s just that, whatever he did, even after I escaped, I’m still here. This right now is the closest I’ve ever felt to being...”

A sudden feeling of a hand gently enveloping his own prevented him from saying anything else. Momentarily shocked out of his train of thought, Gene dared to look back at the stranger he had begun to admit his sadness to.

He expected to see pity, but the eyes that looked back at him held something different. They were narrowed and serious, but not like before. There was fire in that glance, and as D’jinn’s grip on his hand tightened it only seemed to burn brighter.

“You shall be free, that I promise you.”

If Gene’s eyes got any wider he thought they’d escape out of his head. Heck, there was a better chance of that happening than what the man in front of him had just said. 

“Heh, Being trapped in that pickle jar must’ve done a number on my ears. Y’know everything’s muffled in there, might not have heard ya right....” 

He tried to laugh, to call the his bluff.

The dog said nothing, nor did he change his  determined expression. He simply gave Gene’s hand a quick but firm squeeze, as if to reaffirm what he said. 

“But why....”

Just then, he felt it.

It wasn’t how he expected it to happen, but he knew.

A panicked glance down confirmed his suspicions as he saw a bright light spread from the tip of his shoes, gradually making its way up his body, a familiar emptiness growing with it. 

His time was up.

“No, please, it can’t be over yet...”

He felt D’jinn grab his other hand.

Even as he felt himself fading away, as he began to feel despair weigh him down further and any lingering hope drained from him, Gene again dared to look up at his companion.

He was greeted by the kindest smile he had ever seen.

 “Because, it is the right thing to do.”

 A single flash, and the genie was gone.

___________

D’jinn was left standing at the now-empty space in front of him, hands outstretched to cusp something that was no longer there as his smile disappeared, allowing the heaviness of the moment sink in. 

That silly little duck hadn’t been at all what he expected. The stories his grandmother told him painted a picture of genies as powerful and filled with fiery intimidation, as well as being wiser than any mortal born of flesh and bone...

“Technically, I was already a prisoner.”

  D’jinn’s frown deepened. Those words, they certainly weren’t spoken by some mighty cosmic being, but by a man, who could feel sadness and fear just like anyone else.   

D’jinn thought back to the story of his ancestor and a kind servant trapped for eternity, until she saw it in her heart to exchange that eternity for a lifetime of love and happiness. This was certainly a different situation, but wasn’t it still the right thing to do?

And those eyes.

The look of desperation in those beautiful gold-colored eyes as he vanished were now burned into his memory. It was a cry for help, and the warrior ached to answer it.

He had made a promise, and while it may had been spoken in a passionate spur of the moment, he would honor it.

Resolute, he scanned the enormous crowd, his well-trained senses focused and on high alert for any sounds or scents that would lead him to his quarry. The minutes ticked by as his stoic expression masked his growing apprehension. 

“There!”

It was faint among the throngs of people surrounding him, nearly undetectable, but his keen canine nose picked up on a familiar smell of dusty tomes mixed with the metallic scent of coins. With extreme calculation, he allowed his tracking instincts take the helm as he stealthily maneuvered through the crowd, ears perked beneath his keffiyeh for any signs of...

“Della, Launchpad! How’re the plane repairs comin’ along?”

Quiet relief washed over D’jinn when he noticed a familiarly distinct top hat poking out from the crowd near the library’s entrance. Making his way towards the fellow adventurer, he couldn’t help but notice just how tired the old man looked, uncharacteristically showing his age. 

“Scrooge, my friend.”

Caught off guard, the duck tensed so hard that he nearly lost his balance before turning to the canine in surprise.

“D’jinn? Bless me bagpipes that villainous vulture nabbed you too?” 

Scrooge shook his head as he adjusted his spectacles, expression shifting back to exhaustion, his browsed creased upwards in guilt.

“I’m sorry lad, you lot were all dragged into this mess because of me. I cannae imagine what you must ‘ave endured at the hands of those fiends.”

D’jinn’s eyes narrowed as he placed his hand on his chest, expression serious but sincere. 

“Noble Scrooge, the only true guilty ones are the villains you speak of, those who would seek to harm the innocent indiscriminately and use them for their own nefarious means.”

Scrooge’s sighed heavily at the canine’s statement.

 “Aye, like me poor darlin’ Webby.”

Like Gene.

“I have dedicated my life to righting such wrongs. I hold nothing against you my friend, I could not let such transgressions against an ally stand. That is why we are here. You have many on whom you can rely, and friends are part of the journey as well, are they not?”

Scrooge stared at D’jinn for a moment, absorbing the man’s insightful words before breaking into a gentle smile, eyes shining with gratitude.

“Thank you, I... needed to here that. I know I can rely on my family when I need ‘em, but it takes times like these to remind this stubborn old fool that ‘family’ can be many things.”

Scrooge silently laughed at himself.

“Sorry, been feeling a little more sentimental than usual.”

Nodding in understanding and knowing that he’d soon depart, Djinn decided to waste no time and reached into his robes as he lowered himself onto one knee, startling Scrooge with this sudden change in demeanor as he withdrew a blank scroll along with a quill.

“Not all has been made right, and my journey must continue.”

The look of determination that met the old duck’s gaze startled him with its ferocity.

“Scrooge McDuck, I simply need a moment to ask you some questions, and the rest will fall to me.”

Scrooge stared back for a moment, perplexed. His family would be leaving soon, and he needed to help them prepare. However, the weight of the severity in the canine’s request, along with the deep sincerity with which he’d said it, told him all he needed to know. Nodding in affirmation, Scrooge watched as D’jinn unraveled the scroll in front of them, quill raised and ready.

“I wish to know about the lost treasure of Collie Baba, and the lamp that is hidden there.”

I’m so sorry, that took MUCH longer to complete than I wanted it to, l have more projects planned and hopefully once courses are over they won’t be as bad. Also sorry for the poor writing quality, I’m kind of rusty. Still I hope that whoever took the time to read this found something entertaining about it. Thank you for your interest, until next time!

[min-sugar-7]

DAY 4: “What are you hiding, Merlin?” + Fun

    Merlin clenched his fist, hiding it behind his back. He stood, silently fuming, as Agravaine continued prodding Arthur’s feelings, manipulating them. Merlin sent silent glares towards Agravaine as Arthur let his uncle manipulate him.

    How dare Agravaine doubt Arthur’s rule? Arthur is a better man than he will ever be, that lying, gold-digging, backstabbing bastard. He is using Arthur’s father against him- making Arthur doubt his self-worth.

    Agravaine finally met his eyes over Arthur's shoulder, freezing. Merlin glared harder. Arthur followed Agravaine’s eyes and turned back. Merlin schooled his expression and morphed it into a bored one. All he had to do was think of the grain reports that they discussed at the beginning of the meeting.

    Tomorrow, Agravaine would enter the council room with a black eye and a limp. He would explain how an old man ambushed him on the stairs, punching him and sending him toppling down.

    Merlin silently chuckled. Arthur’s back was in a tense line, clearly not believing the story. Little did he know, the story was one hundred percent true. Arthur looked like he was trying not to smile, asking Agravaine to describe his old assaulter.

    Merlin denied having anything to do with the encounter. Arthur gave him a disbelieving look but let the matter drop. It could have been anyone. It’s not like Merlin’s the only one that can turn into an old man. Morgana’s almost mastered it too. So who knows what exactly happened?

...

    While Merlin’s and Morgana’s magic remained a secret to the court, he knew that Arthur had already started drafting and revising the magic ban. Agravaine just had to find it, which led to him questioning Arthur’s morale.

    He used the oldest trick in the book: bringing up Arthur’s parents. Merlin was already drafting his next attack.

    Merlin muttered a single spell, one that he had found hidden in the library. The Goblin’s section (as he’s come to call it) was a door to endless possibilities. It contained books on everything from dark magic to light, protective spells to offensive enchantments, and the best of them all: pranks.

    Agravaine was in for a treat.

    Not an hour later, Agravaine pounded Arthur’s door, almost knocking it down. He dragged Arthur, and by extension, Merlin, to his room, all the while spouting nonsense about how his furniture was stuck to the ceiling.

    “Uncle,” Arthur began, “I see no problem here.”

    All three men stared at the perfectly normal and appropriately placed furniture. Agravaine gaped like a fish. Merlin pinched his own arm to keep from laughing.

    “Perhaps a visit to Gaius, my lord?” Merlin perked in. Arthur didn’t turn around. Agravaine shot him a dirty look.

    “There will be no need for that. Good night, Arthur,” Agravaine bit back, embarrassed. He strode into his room, slamming the door behind him.

    “Wonder what that was about,” Arthur said, barely concealing his amused look. Merlin simply shrugged.

    Merlin once again stood behind Arthur, silently fuming. It wasn’t directed to Agravaine this time.

...

    Instead, it was Prince Karl, visiting Prince from the North. What started as a night of friendly fun and talk dissolved into very unfriendly jabs and gloats.

    Prince Karl had no sense of manners. He dared to compare Arthur’s rule to Uther’s, calling him soft. Arthur was not soft. Arthur is a fierce warrior, honorable Knight, and a renowned King, adored and respected by all.

    Well, perhaps Arthur was a bit soft, but in an honorable way. He is righteous and just; sentencing punishments that fit the crime. Arthur is fair and compassionate when the occasion calls for it. Arthur is Merlin’s King, the only one he will ever serve, ever love.

    Merlin sunk back into the shadows, blending in with the darkness. He let his magic take over, looking straight at Karl. An obnoxiously loud burp left the Prince’s mouth. And then another.

    Morgana turned back, as if she knew, and caught Merlin’s eyes. He couldn’t get rid of the evidence fast enough. A knowing look crossed her face.

    She smirked and turned back, lips moving in a silent spell. Her eyes flashed gold, but nothing happened. She caught Merlin's eyes again and winked.

    Prince Karl excused himself later that night, saying he was required back in his kingdom, immediately. He didn’t make it far into the courtyard before his hood got knocked off, revealing a flashy mop of pink hair. He hurried into his carriage, but the damage was already done.

    Merlin passed Morgana in the hallway, giving her a nod and a high-five. It wasn’t long before the two dissolved into laughter, clutching each other for support, trying and failing to look cool.

...

    “What are you hiding, Merlin?” said Arthur’s voice from behind him. Merlin jumped and, in a moment of panic, magicked away his beautiful work of art. Dammit.

    “Fuck- Nothing!” Merlin turned around. A glance in the armory told him that his spectacular self-sabotaging crossbow wasn’t magicked into the abyss. It was hanging from the ceiling. How the hell is it still hanging on?

    Arthur raised his eyebrow, seeing through Merlin’s lie.

    Merlin shrugged and stepped aside, presenting the empty table. A bit too empty. Very empty. It seemed like Merlin had magicked Arthur’s swords along with the bow. Merlin trailed his eyes towards the crossbow, but Arthur’s other weapons were nowhere to be seen.

    Arthur, on the other hand, let out a long-suffering sigh, following Merlin’s line of sight. He eyed the crossbow hanging from the ceiling with an exasperated look.

    “Context, please?” Arthur asked, all straight-faced and unamused. Merlin swallowed nervously, his mind racing with excuses he could use. “The truth, if you will,” Arthur added.

    Merlin sighed, resigned. “Well, as you can see, it is a crossbow.” Arthur gave him a pointed look. “A crossbow that backfires on the fifth shot.”

    “Why would it do that, Merlin?”

    “To make it look like an accident.”

    Arthur placed his hands on his hips, waiting for an explanation. Merlin refused to give in. Arthur finally barked out, “Why?”

    Merlin pursed his lips together, nodding. “Well, Lord Marco called you unfit to rule because you knighted commoners and then invited you out for a hunt, so I thought it was a great opportunity. Since knighting commoners was the best thing you’ve done. Not because he insulted you, obviously.”

    Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose, rubbing his face afterward. “What will I ever do with you?” he asked, and Merlin tried not to feel offended.

    “Well, you can start with helping me get that crossbow down-”

    Arthur interrupted him with a chuckle, which then turned into full-blown laughter. “Agravaine? That was you, wasn’t it? Also, Lady Annabel and her feathers! Oh, and Prince Karl and his pink hair. And Sir Laurve’s flimsy sword!”

    Merlin ducked his head, feeling his face heat up. “Prince Karl was Morgana,” he protested.

    “Should have known,” Arthur said, voice laced with delight? When Merlin looked up, he did not recall being this close to Arthur. He still had a stupid grin plastered on his face.

    “Um- Well, they had it coming!” Merlin frowned. “Being a prat is no excuse for them to insult the King-”

    “And you’re allowed to?” Merlin didn’t get to answer because the next thing he knew, there were soft lips pressed against his. All that he could think of was the fact that Arthur’s pressing his lips against his, kissing him-

    Arthur’s kissing him. Oh, Gods, Arthur’s kissing him.

    Soon the initial shock wore off, and Merlin remembered that kissing is a two-way street. Merlin brought his hand up to thread it through Arthur’s hair, marveling at its silky texture.

    Arthur broke off the kiss sooner than deemed acceptable, according to Merlin. So Merlin pulled Arthur into another kiss, letting it drag a bit longer.

    “God, you’re like an angry adorable cat,” Arthur mumbled against Merlin’s lips, providing no further explanation. Merlin snapped out of his post-kissing cloudy haze, realizing that Arthur’s tormenting him again.

    “I am not adorable. I am the greatest warlock to ever-”

    “See?” Arthur cut off, “adorable.” Arthur pulled back far enough to boop Merlin’s nose. “Now, promise that you won’t kill nobles? I don’t pay them much mind, you know?”

    Merlin was about to say yes because he can’t deny Arthur anything right after he managed to compliment and insult Merlin in the same sentence. No matter what he says, Merlin is not adorable. And Arthur should not have to go through such treatment from other nobles. He deserves better.

    “Fine,” Merlin conceited. Arthur never said that he couldn’t injure them. Plus, Morgana has promised no such thing, and Agravaine is still strutting around the castle, acting like he owns the place…

    Whatever happens, Merlin can confidently say that Agravaine had it coming.

[lordoftermites]

OF CLOVER & IRON

Part Two

Pairing: Roiben x Kaye

Summary: continued from here, but this one hurts more and I'm barely sorry.

Rating: T? it's just fuckin sad ok

Each breath I left behind Each breath you take is mine Walking on a line ten stories high Fear a fall, you're asking why Leaving the things we lost, oh Leaving the ones we've crossed I have to make an end so we begin To save my soul at any cost

Roiben was almost confident he had solved the first act of Kaye’s query long before this. At least, in part he had. And she hadn’t quite so much voiced the question as her face had expressed it plainly. It was a simple thing then, to speak without needing to flex the truth, because she had asked so simply. She had not yet won the faculty with which to confine him—her very own blackbird that came when she called—whether he wanted to or not.

It's your shirt, back from the dead.

A lament that had been, because he hadn’t truthfully wanted to return it: he liked the scent that lingered in the black, machine-woven fabric he had carefully stitched back together during the sparse moments in the solitude of his quarters— the very same fragrance that had drifted from the blonde tangles of her hair and caught his inhale when she clutched the possession between her fingers. It had been so pleasant it set his mouth to water. And it had been that which had him smiling down at her— a genuine reaction, something he hadn’t done in so long, neither before nor since the night in the woods—she had drawn that one from him then just as easily—that he had almost reserved himself to simply being incapable of it.

Like you.

He remembered the cool, wavering indifference of Kaye’s response, a betraying contrast to the gentle pink that bloomed over her cheeks, until she finally awarded him a grin in return. Perhaps it had been nothing to Kaye, but for Roiben, it was a delicate spell that charmed him, wholly and throughout.

He had had a revelation in that moment, had made to himself an ardent vow: he would have done anything for her to smile at him again. For that to be his smile alone.

He would have killed for it then—and he had done, more than once. Resolutely, he would again.

Roiben was bound, as was she—as the entirety of the Host was, by that imperceptible governance that dispossessed him of his ability to lie. But that same authority did not demand he renounce the overabundance of whys he clutched to him like a precious thing—not those Kaye would have him hand over now, not those she hadn’t known to ask for. Like why those days following their first meeting had been fraught with fitful, broken sleep, while the nights were a fruitless pursuit of a mortal girl, to return something as insignificant as an article of clothing. Why he had repaired the thing in the first place, fingertips raw from the needle scraping and pricking ad nauseum.

Why, even after she had prized the true name from his throat in some form of vengeance for the death of her friend. Ignorant of that insuperable, concrete power she balanced like a blade on her tongue. Much may the knowledge please you, he had said then.

Yet, even through his seething, Roiben still had wanted only to be near her. And when she had unwittingly given her first command and his mouth had immediately and dutifully obeyed its new mistress, he’d hated himself for how much he enjoyed it. Hated that he’d yearned to touch her again in spite of himself.

That tempestuous conflict between his longing and the conflagrant fury at relinquishing his name had curdled his insides there in the diner; he’d barely made three strides from the door when he’d retched, involuntarily and violently, emptying the asetose contents of his stomach behind the parked car he would watch her climb into moments later.

There was nothing that compelled him to confess that night he had followed her home, had waited in the cold shadows beneath the clouded window of her bedroom, heart clambering against the cage of his bruised ribs as he savored the ghost of her skin brushing his mouth, praying for just a glimpse of her through the glass.

This multitude of questions and reasons had never been spoken aloud, not even as a whisper to the shadows to abate Roiben's torment.

He knew, reprehensibly, that he had not given her the answer she sought—never, not in any measure at all.

Perhaps, in their tangled past, if she had waited only moments more, she would never have anguished in her own wonder as she did now. She could have instructed him to spill his insides onto the checkered linoleum before her, in naught but a whisper, and Roiben would have only been able to marvel at the ruby candor of his own lifes’ blood pooling at the soles of her favorite boots. Perhaps after, she would have been able to go back to the blissful, ignorant mortality she knew better than this one, free of the duplicitous whims of the twilight creatures she tangled with now; she would be free of him, as he from his subjugation.

But that had not been the design of whatever power held their fates.

Roiben drew a weary breath, scrubbed a hand over his face and closed his eyes; he couldn’t meet the untamed, sable intensity of that stare. The pattern was not lost on him, as it was very rarely that he found he could hold her gaze, such was his repugnant cowardice.

What seemed a century ago, Kaye had been in this very room, in the exact spot Roiben lay now, though the occasion had been something quite entirely life and death in contrast. Even then, befuddled with magic that aimed to keep her compliant to her death, that same vehement look on the stolen face she masked her own truth with bored into him, as he felt it knifing into him now.

The past was crumbling, upending itself, it seemed, and Roiben was loath to discover himself, yet again, the recreant.

Pulling himself out of his own memories, he tentatively reached out to take Kaye's hand. She didn't protest, but her fingers were stiff as Roiben laced them between his own. "I will explain, as thoroughly as I am able." he finally said, thumbing small, idle circles over the top of her hand while Kaye watched him in attentive silence.

"In truth... I didn’t know why, at first. Or, more like, I disallowed myself to know. As a knight, I thought I had trained myself to the virtues that title holds, that I had sworn myself to. I’d vowed, if only to myself, to use my station for righteous things. Good things.”

He took another breath, bemused by how much he was allowing himself to say. He had grown so used to his measured responses, only speaking when he was compelled to��a habit born out of clarified spite. Just as well, he never much liked the sound of his own voice. Even now, with no master or mistress to twist his words like a knife in his gut—save for Kaye, who was markedly his chief possessor, body, soul, and whatever lay between. ”In my servitude to Nicnevin," he continued, "I felt those virtues... slipping—no, tearing away from me, as the claws of a beast tear at the flesh of its prey. The…The things she commanded of me, Kaye—"

Shame seized his throat and strangled him silent. Nightmarish visions of blank death-stares turned whatever he might have said to rotten ash on his tongue, made him choke. His own blood thundered tumultuously in his ears.

The small body of a fae trampled beneath the hooves of his steed. A goblet sloshing with fresh crimson gore, coating the inside of his mouth in warm metal.

The terrified, pleading scream of the one he loved as his blade bit into her skin.

He mashed his eyes shut and gripped Kaye's hand tightly, desperately, in some hope that the action would wash away the horror of his own memory.

A feeble hope it was, because he knew the absolute, incontrovertible truth: those images would remain carved stone upon his mind's eye, tormenting him until he met his own inevitable end.

It took some time for him to pull himself out of the waking nightmare of his mind, but after forcing himself to swallow the bile searing the back of his throat, he went on; for Kaye's sake, because she deserved to know the truth, definitively.

And for his own, because he feared that now he had begun to syphon the poison, he could no longer keep it from devouring his soul.

"I… I believed that my time in the Night Court, carrying out whatever new task its queen dreamt up for me, each one more abhorrent than the last, had soured my nature. What I had convinced myself was a meticulously cultivated, unsulliable rectitude, Nicnevin befouled in less time than the blink of an eye.

"When you stumbled into those woods…" He leaned forward, the sudden, acute need to be closer to her driving him to shake, rattling his very bones. He let his forehead fall against hers; he was overwarm, and the comforting coolness of her skin calmed him. He closed his eyes again.

"I had been courting Death." Roiben avowed. "I pined for it, as one would pine for a soft bed at the end of a long journey. But you—" he paused, conjuring the memory of her kneeling before him, the trembling timidity in her hands as she grasped the branch jutting from his chest, "with your kindness, kindness I had not earned nor held any claim to, awakened something in me that I feared long dead."

He felt the gentle stroke of Kaye's fingers against his cheek. He opened his eyes to be met by her own, their depths no longer aflame with the unhinged ferocity he had seen in them previously. In its place was the same tender, empathetic gaze from that night in the woods—the one that had burrowed itself deep into the glacial prison encasing his heart.

"That is why I chose you." He brought her hand to his scarred chest, held it there against the reverberant palpitation beneath his sternum. "Because you have shown me that perhaps I am not as monstrous and irredeemable as I believed myself to be—that my soul is not the blackened, twisted thing I was convinced it had become.

"You have brought me back from the dead, Kaye Fierch, and never again shall I let a moment pass that would leave you to wonder anything different."

[halothenthehorns]

TLTNL- GRAWP

"What I don't understand," Remus said in exasperation, "is how Voldemort was even in Nagini's mind? What on earth kind of magic allows that!"

It had taken them ages for the Marauders to finally stop talking about the twins epic leave of Hogwarts, but finally as James made to grab for the book again, Remus chose now to break in with something he'd been thinking on all morning. He glanced anxiously at Harry, and though he paled and flinched again at the reminder, he waved Remus on with a curious look in place.

"We've no more idea than how he's even alive," Sirius sighed, also glancing at Harry nervously, though in fear for what was happening to his pup, he was sure Harry could handle this conversation so long as he had them around.

"I was wondering if it was some unprecedented Parseltongue ability." Remus offered. "Nagini was telling Voldemort what happened in such detail, Voldemort was visualizing the whole thing, and Harry just happened to be present while that was happening. Just because Snape said it happened one way doesn't mean there aren't other options."

"I mean, I guess it could have happened that way," Lily frowned as she thought that through. "He'd be learning about this information and feeling the emotions in the moment, so it still counts-"

"but doesn't explain Harry's insisting fear he felt he had fangs for a moment," James disagreed.

"Harry still could have just been projecting what Voldemort was visualizing during Nagini's attack," Sirius disagreed.

"None of that explains Dumbledore's sudden no contact with Harry," Lily shot down. "This must be something, more. I can't think how else to put it, but something new must have happened over the summer, some ability Voldemort seems to have. It clearly does involve Harry in some way, his mind and connection at least, that has Dumbledore avoiding Harry."

"That doesn't track with everything else though," James said in exasperation. "Why allow Harry to even know about the Order if he really thought Harry knowing anything was dangerous?"

  "He hasn't let me know much of anything," Harry shot back. He hated having to think about all this again, but it somehow felt better as well. He was no longer in the heat of the memory, being forced to listen to the idea he was turning into Voldemort. Now he instead got to hear them push around theories and ideas, and that would always feel more bearable, especially when he could feel they were close.

James didn't blame Moony for the change of subject, that had probably been on his mind since the part before Snape's memory had turned their world in a new direction, and it was a miracle he hadn't butted in with this by now. Nonetheless he beckoned to Harry, "why don't we do something nice for your mum, we'll do lunch."

Harry didn't hesitate in following him out, Lily watching them with a light frown. She didn't think Harry felt any ill will for James anymore, but clearly James had more to say. So she forced herself to remain in her seat rather than follow.

When James had said, 'do lunch,' he actually just rapped a pot on the stove to start heating leftovers, but it was the thought that counted, right? Instead he watched as Harry uneasily set the table. When both tasks were done, lunch was ready, and still neither had said a word, James finally forced himself to just spit out what he'd been chewing on this whole time.

"I am sorry."

Harry looked around in surprise, that was usually his line.

James watched Harry steadily for a reaction, hoping his continuing to bring this up wouldn't change whatever comfort Harry had taken in from Sirius, but he couldn't let this one drop without saying his piece either. "Not for that time," he clarified, "I'll never let anyone talk to Lily like that, but I am sorry I was that way, and it pushed Snape into saying that. I'm sorry if what I did to him really did push him into being a Death Eater, when I'd spent the past five years of my life showing Sirius that would never happen to him despite his family. I'm sorry for the way Snape treats you, that's entirely my fault."

Harry rested his hand on the back of a chair like he needed the support. The realizations still hit sometimes, that he was speaking to James instead of wishing it like he'd spent all his life doing, and now more than ever after such a harrowing blow to his memory was returned. "I forgave you," he told him with confidence. "It's like Lupin said, you were only fifteen. If you guys had just seen shots of my memory, me shouting at my friends for nothing, Hermione punching Malfoy, Ron's anger at me before the First Task; you'd all be thinking the worst as well. I wish I'd gotten to know more about you, but Mum's right. You changed," Harry stopped there. He wanted to say Snape hadn't, that he was still a bitter fifteen year old treating Harry like dirt because of what James had once done, but the words wouldn't fully come to him either. Snape was still a vindictive arse, but this memory had really charged something in him, leaving him very confused about his full memories to the man.

James didn't seem to notice that part though, as he roughly pulled Harry into a hug. The absolute fear Harry could have actually hated him hadn't really been felt until it was gone.

Harry returned the affection with a natural ease he never would have believed.

He also broke the hug first, saying, "I'm glad this one should be almost over, I've had a bad feeling about it from the start and I really just want to be done with this year."

James agreed at once, though Harry felt like he hadn't made himself plain enough about that bad feeling considering he was still smiling.

At least lunch was a calm affair, Lily saying they should be able to finish this book by dinner if they didn't have any more long dramatic interruptions which she tried to blame entirely on Sirius.

Sirius informed her she did this too much, but took the blame with grace by spending the rest of lunch refusing to talk about anything else by discussing with the boys anything and everything he could about Quidditch.

James and Lily managed to slip away for a few minutes by themselves to care for the baby, and James happily showed Lily a broom design made from redwood. Even if that tree wasn't native to their land, he'd import it just for his Lily flower.

It didn't actually take that much effort though to get them all back in seats, but they'd switched it up just a bit so now Harry was in between James and Sirius again simply to prove he had no ill will towards either of them. Remus took the seat next to Lily and muttered for her alone while James began looking for his place, "any bets on how long before the next catastrophe takes place in here?"

"I'd rather just pretend there's not going to be one," Lily huffed.

"Joys of being a pessimist, either you expect the worst, or you're pleasantly surprised to be wrong," Remus shrugged without remorse.

"That sounded more like the optimistic view on pessimism," Lily rolled her eyes while James began with a genuine smile again.

The story of Fred and George's was retold so often over the next few days that Harry could tell it would soon become the stuff of Hogwarts legend:

"I'm so proud!" Sirius squealed. "We've forever been upstaged by Weasley's and I'm not even upset!"

"I can hardly believe what they did, the mark they left," James couldn't stop smiling for something so momentous as the twins putting themselves into Hogwarts history like that.

For just a moment as Harry watched them react so proudly to this, he got just a touch jealous. They'd made it clear they were proud of him too, but he'd certainly never felt like he'd done anything Marauder worthy like the twins just had. Then he wondered if this was how Ron felt all the time, towards his own brothers, to his own best friend?

it stretched into the two becoming their own phrase, students could now be heard saying if they suffered anymore classes they'd pull a Weasley.

"I can't believe we were so easily replaced with our infamy," Sirius sighed.

"I think hiding our symbol in the Shrieking Shack is still good enough," Remus shrugged, that was where they spent more time than even their dormitory.

"Yeah," James grudgingly agreed, "guess I'm just jealous. If it wasn't for Lily, I'd feel like I wasted my last year at school not doing something as spectacular before I left."

Lily blushed faintly James had actually admitted aloud he'd cooled himself down just for her.

Fred and George had made sure nobody was likely to forget them too soon.

"Oh that's impossible," Sirius said firmly.

For one thing, they hadn't a clue how to remove the swamp filled corridor.

Then James promptly burst out with laughter as he kept envisioning the thing, the others joining in with delight. They hadn't thought the twins could get better and they just kept being proven wrong.

Umbridge and Filch had been seen trying all manner of things to be rid of it, but with nothing working, Filch was given the task of ferrying people across when need be, who was not at all pleased with this.

Lily gave a righteous laugh, still wanting to punt him from the school after what he'd so wanted to do to the twins, to any student. This was far more what he deserved.

Harry was certain that competent teachers could have removed the swamp in an instant,

"Well I do agree," Lily nodded, her mind boggling a bit at this stretch of magic, "I'd like to ask them how. What kind of magic even was that, an ever lasting potion, a transfiguration spell for the corridor?"

"I want to ask the twins!" Sirius whined. "Curse them not having done this yet."

Remus gave him a look for that comment even as he did agree.

but just as in the case of the fireworks, they seemed to prefer to watch Umbridge struggle.

"The appropriate response," Remus agreed.

Umbridge's door had to be replaced for the two broom shaped holes in it, and rumor now had it Harry's Firebolt was being kept in the dungeon with a security troll to prevent him doing the same.

"I actually believe that," Sirius groaned miserably.

"I wish you'd summoned it to you when they had," James sighed. "Even if you didn't fly off and join them, you'd find a way to keep it out of her webbed fingers."

"I was a little stunned at the moment," Harry protested, and no one argued the point, as they would have been as well.

Her troubles were still only just beginning.

Inspired by the twins, half the population of the school was now vying for the newly vacant position of Troublemakers-in-Chief.

"At some point the title could rest in peace," Lily said without a hope it would happen.

"My fingers are crossed for Ginny now," Sirius grinned, clearly the lot of them ignoring her, "she's got potential."

"What about that one lad always friends with the twins," Remus offered. "He wasn't mentioned going with them, but I'm sure he'd still miss them enough to keep up their legacy one more year."

"Guess it's too much to ask you tried?" James asked of Harry, who was already shaking his head in answer even with a smirk in place for remembering the chaos so constantly erupting in corridors for all this.

Such occurrences of this involved a niffler somehow getting into Umbridge's office and trying to chew off her rings.

"That poor Niffler," Remus said in concern.

"I saw Hagrid nursing it that afternoon," Harry promised.

As well as Dungbombs and Stink Pellets were dropped so frequently in the corridors that the Bubble-Head Charm became a new trend,

"I'm glad that spell's gotten some popularity," James grinned even remembering the ire of not knowing about it when it would have come in handy.

even though it gave them all the peculiar appearance of wearing upside-down goldfish bowls on their heads.

"Well, whoever said fashion isn't functional clearly never met that trend setter," Lily giggled.

When he wasn't attending tasks, Filch was prowling the corridors with a horsewhip in hand, desperate to catch someone to use it on, but the problem was there were so many around he had no clue which way to turn.

Harry watched all of them shake their heads in disgust for that, Lily even starting to get a nervous tick picturing some poor innocent kid ending up on the wrong side of him, so soothed, "don't worry, as far as I know, no one actually did get a single hit. If ever it looked like he'd pinned down someone long enough, kids you'd never believe did something to distract him so others could run away. I saw this Slytherin fourth year knock over a statue on purpose after Filch was screaming at a little Hufflepuff girl for accidentally tripping over one and 'destroying school property.'"

As if they hadn't enough reason to smile already, that gave them all yet more warmth for this display.

The Inquisitorial Squad was trying to help, but odd things kept happening to the members. Warrington was submitted to the hospital wing for his skin being covered in something akin to burnt cornflakes,

"I feel like someone got a hold of more wartcap powder," Sirius smirked.

and Pansy missed all her lessons the following day as she had sprouted antlers.

James in particular looked pleased with this bit of magic, one of his personal favorite tricks when people asked why he was called Prongs was to grow antlers on others for answer and claim that as his signature spell.

It also became clear just how many Skiving Snackboxes Fred and George had sold in their time, as soon every one of Umbridge's classes were fainting, vomiting, high with fevers, or had blood pouring endlessly from their noses, claiming to have Umbridge-itis.

"A deadly disease I would not wish upon my worst enemy," Remus kept grinning wider every second.

"I don't know, what do you think would happen if we put Voldemort and Umbridge in the same room?" Sirius couldn't help but ask.

"Either they'll kill each other-" Lily said hopefully.

"Or she'll have a new master to follow and somehow become even more terrifying," James shivered. "I still can't believe she's not actually a Death Eater!"

After putting four successive classes in detention and failing to discover their secret,

Harry sighed heavily for that one, rubbing at the back of his hand in remembrance. Madam Pomfrey had ordered whole stocks of Essence of Murtlap and had started handing them out without question, but none of that made it feel better to see others suffering what he had.

she was forced to let the droves of students leave.

In all their efforts though, no student had come close to the master of chaos, Peeves, who seemed to have taken Fred's words to heart.

James looked as if he'd found a treasure map, ticking off each item Peeves did like a new nugget of gold!

In a constant state of cackling, he was never seen without anymore; bursting through walls to scare anyone on the other side, knocking over whatever was upright, regularly shutting Mrs. Norris into anything available, smashing anything remotely breakable, juggling lit candles, flooding whole hallways, dropping tarantulas into the Great Hall during meals,

"I'll bet Ron loved that one," Remus got out in between James' breathless retelling.

and whenever he fancied a break, spent hours at a time floating along after Umbridge and blowing loud raspberries every time she spoke.

"I am actually impressed," Lily said faintly. "I never thought he could get worse!"

None of the staff but Filch seemed to be stirring themselves to help her.

"I'd be worried if they were," James wheezed, acting so giddy upon reading such massive mayhem he was likely to pass out soon. Of all the regimes going on inside their school, all the hateful new being passed around his son, finally some good was being the cause of it all!

In exact opposite it seemed, as Harry distinctly saw McGonagall pass by Peeves trying to unscrew a chandelier, and she told him it worked the other way.

Sirius fist pumped the air in triumph, all of them red faced from laughter and wishing McGonagall was here already so they could give her a hug in congratulations.

To cap matters, Montague had still not recovered from his sojourn in the toilet;

Sirius managed an extra hard laugh for that swift remembrance.

and his parents had been summoned to the school, the trio watching their arrival on the front lawn through their Charms class.

Hermione was worried they should say something about what happened to him, if it might help Madam Pomfrey cure him.

"Nah," the three Marauders said at once, while Harry rubbed at his temple in some empathy for Montague and Lily just shook her head at them.

Then they froze, and looked to Harry like any hint of no remorse upon another student would set him back into thinking the worst of them again. He however only considered this like he did all their passing comments, just them mouthing off. Even if they did mean it, he still couldn't really care, Madam Pomfrey had fixed worse injuries without anyone's help.

Ron said no at once, he'd be fine.

Harry agreeing it only caused more problems for Umbridge.

"This is true, it's not a good mark for the woman parents have to come up to the school," James smirked.

Not at all distracted, the two tried to tap their teacups and have legs grow from them. The spell was supposed to be like Hermione's, who's had grown four strong willow sticks and was trotting around happily.* Instead, Harry's grew such tiny stumps they didn't even bend enough to bring his cup off the desk, and Ron's were so flimsy the cup stood for only a second before falling and cracking in half.

Hermione repaired Ron's cup for him while still speaking if Montague was permanently injured?

Remus actually considered that for a second, again remembering the half broken cabinet and genuinely wondering if something had gone permanently wrong there.

Harry suddenly felt a heavy twitch cross his mind, some dire warning he should have paid more attention to this, because someone had...but he tried to shake that off and told, "I feel like he recovered." For some reason though, this only made him feel worse, and they easily let the matter drop, all confident Pomfrey could fix this.

Ron insisted no one cared, this was only a good thing for their already slim chances at the Quidditch Cup. If Hermione wanted someone to worry about, let it be him.

"Oh Ron, the spell's not that hard," Lily giggled, Flitwick would probably just assign them more homework practice.

While putting his finger under his cup to help support its weight, he told them he was expecting a howler any day now when it got through Umbridge's screening process.

"Why?" Sirius said slowly.

"If I'd guessed, it would have been back when the DA had been outed, but it's been far too long, he hasn't done anything more recently," James agreed curiously.

Hermione tried to ask why, but Ron was already explaining his mum was going to blame him for not stopping the twins leaving. He should have grabbed their broom tails or something to stop them, this was somehow going to be all his fault.

"Oh, she wouldn't," Lily tried to say even if her tone showed no signs of meaning it.

"I really can't see even Molly doing this one," Sirius shook his head. "I don't remember her ever saying to go after the twins once he got his Prefect badge. She's got a bad habit of comparing the youngest to the elders, but never seems to have expected the younger set to tell the elder ones off."

Harry at least fervently hoped so, Ron most certainly did not deserve that one when Harry was their enabler in all of this.

Hermione said if she did, it would be entirely unfair, he couldn't have done anything.

Harry grinned for Hermione again, thankful that finally she seemed to be on their side again in these arguments.

She was confident Molly wouldn't, clearly they had been planning this anyways if they had premise in Diagon Alley.

Ron said that was something odd though, as he wrapped his teacup to try the spell again, but he'd hit it so hard it only fell again.

"I don't think that's helping," Lily randomly giggled.

Where had they gotten the gold for that? Their mum was going to want to know.

"Did they never ask you what you did with your Triwizard Winnings?" James asked. He knew Harry had never told them, but his friends had never brought it up?

"I guess they just assumed I shoved it into my vault," Harry shrugged.

Hermione agreed that had occurred to her too, ignoring her own cup that was going in circles around Harry's cup who still hadn't tried moving with its stubby legs.

"This is just getting insulting," Lily couldn't stop giggling even while she said it.

She'd been wondering if they'd been doing work for Mundungus to get that kind of money.

"That wouldn't have been a bad guess," Remus agreed.

Harry said they hadn't at once.

"You finally going to tell them, because otherwise that was idiotic," Sirius scolded.

"I wasn't going to have their family thinking they'd done something illegal," Harry sighed. "I'd far rather Mrs. Weasley hate me than think something like that of anymore of her children."

"She's not going to hate you," James at once said with conviction. "The only thing she might be is flustered at the generosity, but she'll just have to get over that."

They asked how Harry would know that, and he only hesitated a moment before finally telling why.

Hermione was so surprised, her cup took a dive off the desk and neither of them noticed.

"Timing," Lily gave the loudest snicker of all.

Ron stated this was excellent, at once asking if he could tell his mum this was all Harry's fault!

Sirius burst out with laughter once again, James nodding along and agreeing, "Ron's priorities."

Harry agreed he'd better, especially if she was going to start thinking her sons had stolen cauldrons.

"I can see why you wanted to wait," Remus agreed, "now they're really going and she can't guilt them into giving it back."

Hermione said nothing at all for the rest of the lesson, but Harry had a shrewd suspicion that her self-restraint was bound to crack before long.

They all sighed, not particularly wanting to hear another Hermione lecture about what Harry had done stupidly lately.

Sure enough, once they were out in the quad in the weak May light, she turned to him with a determined look on her face, so Harry interrupted before she could start.

"Has that ever helped?" Sirius asked in surprise.

"Nope, but it was worth a shot after the last time she spent a whole day on it," Harry sighed.

He told her not to even start, it was over and done with, and to save her breath because he did not regret doing this for them.

Hermione sounded hurt when she said she wasn't going to say anything about that.

"Maybe if she wasn't nagging you all the time, she wouldn't be so offended when you try to stop her doing it," Remus rolled his eyes.

"Oh stop," Harry cut them off with a sigh. "Hermione's a bit much, I know that better than anyone, but lay off her for a bit, I jumped the wrong conclusion that time."

They gave in with a muttered apology.

Ron snorted disbelievingly and Hermione threw him a very dirty look.

"Can't say that wasn't deserved though," Remus muttered.

She insisted she wasn't, she'd wanted to ask him when he was going to ask Snape for more Occlumency lessons

"Why!" Sirius demanded. "He's been tortured enough this year!"

Once Fred and George's dramatic departure had evaporated their talk, the two had wanted to know what Harry had gone to talk to Sirius about. Still failing to explain the initial reason, Harry instead told them it had been to do with Snape stopping his lessons and Sirius wanted him to keep going with them.

James crinkled his nose at this, saying, "there are far too many holes in that, I'm not surprised Hermione's trying to get the real story."

"That's still not why she was having a go at me," Harry groaned.

He had regretted this ever since, as Hermione had then chosen to bring the subject up again when Harry least expected it.

"Ah, well honestly this one's your own fault, I could have told you not to bring this back up with her," Lily rolled her eyes.

"Especially as you still have no intentions of doing it," Remus shook his head, Harry's expression made that abundantly clear, and he felt quite sore his warning had so easily been brushed off by Harry.

Hermione snapped at him he couldn't pretend like they weren't needed, Ron had said he'd been muttering in his sleep again.

Harry gave Ron a furious look, who had the grace to be ashamed.

"I don't know, I can see the good of that one," Lily sighed as she saw some snippy comment on Sirius' lips. "He's worried about his friend, not on the same level as Hermione, but both recognize far more than you seem to this shouldn't be entertained," she finished with a look at Harry, who also had the grace to look ashamed for never trying harder at this. He wasn't sure if it was his mother's guilt trip, or something far more unspeakable that was causing him to feel this so heavily...

Ron apologetically said for both it had only been a bit, he'd been muttering about reaching further.

Harry lied he'd been dreaming of Quidditch, he wanted Ron to reach out just a bit further for the Quaffle.

Ron's ears went red, while Harry didn't feel a drop of remorse for lying.

"Brutal," Sirius laughed in surprise.

"But deserved," James sighed.

He had in fact again dreamed all the way up to the room full of glass spun orbs, but again woken up feeling he'd been moments away from the true want.

James stopped in alarm at the noise Harry made, all of them looking to him with deep concern as he groaned with misery, head in his hands again, breathing so heavily they could have been his last breaths.

"Harry!" James swiftly put the book aside at such an alarming reaction that somehow got worse each time this was brought up. "Harry, calm down! You're going to be fine, whatever is in there, you are going to be fine!"

This had no effect on making him better, as that was not what was gripping him so tight he couldn't breath. It wasn't his safety he so feared.

"It's okay, it's going to be okay," Sirius insisted, looking frantically to Lily or Remus to help, but they had no more clue what left him in such a mess. "Erm, what if I-" his mind flagged desperately for something to distract Harry with, "show you how we created the Marauders Map!"

"What?" Harry looked up in genuine surprise, the pain from his skull not yet fully subsiding which must explain the tears trickling out, but he wiped furiously at them to keep his attention on Sirius.

"Yeah," he confirmed at once. "Something to look forward to!"

James agreed at once, saying, "it took me a few days to create it, but it won't take near as long to recreate it. I've been wanting to show Lily anyways, you'll both get a kick out it."

Harry gave a slow nod, taking easier breaths now as he kept this promise tight inside him. Whatever horrid thing had happened in his past to cause this feeling, they were right, he had something he could cling to now as a promise he wouldn't have to relive his memory long.

James waited an extra moment to make sure Harry wasn't going to set himself into a full blown panic attack before gingerly picking the book back up, almost afraid of what else it was going to do to his son if this topic didn't change soon.

Hermione inquired then that he was still trying with his Occlumency?

Harry lied and said he was, but the truth was he was curious about all this and wanted the dreams to keep going.

Harry's whole center shook, he looked very much like he would collapse in a fit in moments. Clearly what he'd been thinking at fifteen, the exact opposite was trying to run through his mind now, and the two together were wreaking havoc inside of him.

James reached over again, grasping his shoulder firmly until he fought back for control, still waving him to go on adamantly for this to just be over with.

The problem was, with less than a month till exams, his mind usually seemed much more focused on stupid dreams.

"First you were complaining about them, now you want them and you're not getting enough of them," Remus tried to get a rise out of Harry instead of watching him tear himself apart for something he couldn't yet understand. "You never can seem to make up your mind eh?"

Harry offered him a flimsy smile that was as weak as the toddler upstairs.

He also suspected the more Hermioneish part of his mind was guilting him into waking up before the journey's end.

"Hermione doesn't seem so bad now she's right," James offered as Harry kept rubbing at his temples.

Sirius gave Remus a sympathetic look as well which Moony easily grasped. It wasn't just him being ignored, Harry wasn't taking advice from anyone about this.

Something new to distract him was the final match of the Quidditch season, Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw, which was to take place on the last weekend of May. Although Slytherin had been narrowly defeated by Hufflepuff in their last match,

"Wow, where's my description of that match!" Sirius yelped, grasping at any pleasant conversation, and this was an easy one.

"Nothing too memorable happened," Harry shrugged. "Malfoy actually caught the Snitch, for once, but he took Krum's way out. Hufflepuff was winning on points, Montague hadn't come back yet and the appointed Slytherin was a right idiot, I don't know what they were doing during training but it wasn't practicing."

"As much as they deserve," James cheered, wriggling in pleasure even as he kept a close eye on Harry to make sure he really was trying to put mention of that Department past him.

Gryffindor did not yet dare for a victory, though no one said it to him, because of Ron's goalkeeping ability.

Ron took his own outlook on the morning of, telling them at least he couldn't get any worse.

"There's the bright side," Lily snickered in surprise, while James just looked bemused at this. Better than constantly ragging on himself he supposed.

As Harry and Hermione were shuffling into the crowd, Hermione mentioned she suspected this game might just go better because Fred and George weren't around, they never helped his confidence.

"I can see that," Remus said fairly.

"They mocked him from time to time," Sirius disagreed, "but they were never so bad I think it damaged Ron any more than that horrid song. I don't think they'll make a real difference to him."

"Least Angelina already had their replacements," James grumbled, still wishing it was Harry on that pitch rather than Ginny, he was sick of reading side line events, he wanted to be back in the air!

Luna Lovegood overtook them with what appeared to be a live eagle perched on top of her head.

The boys burst out in surprised laughter Luna had indeed gone further with that idea!

It was as Harry watched this though, not at all mean spirited but that recent memory still with him, that the expression they'd first carried upon hearing of her finally clicked as he turned sharply to them. "Would you lot have done all that to Luna?"

James' automatic response wanted to be no, but he still considered the question for a moment before saying slowly, "ah, well, we certainly would have liked to have words with her, she's a fascinating thing."

"You would have mocked her?" Harry outright demanded with a raised brow.

Sirius blew a chunk of hair out of his face, but didn't deny, "guess it depends on how well we bothered to get to know her. We thought Remus was a right odd ball before we had a proper chat with him."

Harry saw they were still avoiding the question, as he'd honestly noticed outside their little group they didn't seem to 'converse' with much of anyone unless it was for a motive. Still though, he was just as fascinated they looked a touch ashamed even as they side stepped this. He hadn't realized his disapproval really meant so much to them.

Then the teams assembled on the edge of the field, and Hermione said her surprise she'd forgotten Cho would be playing. Harry grunted in response, he had not.

"Ex crush versus ex fan girl!" Sirius said loudly, very clearly trying not to let Harry linger on that last subject.

"Sadly I think Cho's got the better edge, she's played more games, actually wants this position," James eagerly put in.

"I wouldn't underestimate Ginny, we don't know how long Cho's been flying outside her house team, but we know Ginny's been doing it since single digits, she may well have the advantage," Remus offered insight.

Harry decided to let the Luna matter go, they'd yet to actually be doing anything wrong to her and there was no sense yelling at them for something they hadn't done wrong yet to one of his friends.

Across from them in the stands, the Slytherins were all filing in, and Harry hoped desperately they wouldn't have anymore chances to sing Weasley Is our King.

"I wasn't aware they needed an excuse, they just continued doing it because they're arse holes," Lily grumbled.

Lee Jordan, who had been very dispirited since Fred and George had left,

"That was it," Remus huffed for forgetting.

"Guess I can't blame him for not being in the mood to prank others when his mates up and did that," Sirius sighed.

was commentating as usual. As the teams zoomed out on to the pitch he named the players with something less than his usual gusto.

"I can just imagine McGonagall feeling sorry for the poor kid," James frowned sadly.

Harry watched Cho chat with Davies as the teams matched up, prepared to shake hands, and Harry found he only had a slight twinge of jealous as the two Ravenclaws smiled at each other before the captains shook hands.

"Guess that crush wasn't as gone as we thought," James looked to Harry in surprise, who only shrugged, he really didn't have much of a memory for this game, especially not Cho, though he wasn't exactly sure why. Surely even if he wasn't playing in it, he'd have a care? Maybe Ron really hadn't done any better and he'd tried to block the whole thing out, but that wasn't the right kind of disconnected feeling...

Lee began as usual, saying who had the Quaffle in what position, and Davies was already heading for Gryffindors goals, Gryffindor had a chance at making it, and- Lee swore.

"Least he hasn't lost all of his enthusiasm," Remus chuckled.

Ravenclaw had scored, and the Slytherins at once took up the chance with their song.

Harry and Hermione were distracted from what happened next by Hagrid sidling up to them, trying to remain crouched as if wanting to be out of sight, but even doubled over he was four feet taller than those next to him.

"Why's he trying to hide at all?" Lily asked in surprise. "He's been known to come to a few matches."

"Don't look at us," Remus shrugged even as he looked eagerly at James for this explanation that he had his fingers crossed in hope for.

He asked if they'd come with him, now, while everyone was watching the game.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," James gaped down at this, "but I'd actually go with him."

"If there's one thing to drag away a good Quidditch match," Sirius agreed, though finished rather threateningly, "but Hagrid had better finally be showing you what he's been up to, if it's for anything less, I'll find a way to curse that man through his skin for cutting this off."

Harry merely hummed in agreement.

Hagrid's nose was gently dripping blood. His eyes were both blackened. Harry had not seen him this close-up since his return to the school; he looked utterly woebegone.

Lily crooned loudly for the poor dear, all of them feeling a pain deep inside for what Hagrid was putting himself through. He must have a really good answer for this one!

Harry agreed without any thought.

Harry felt absolutely no regret for this decision, even as his face tightened just a bit, his innards promising this wasn't going to be a pleasant stroll.

The three got themselves out of the stands, Hagrid saying how much he appreciated them, and hoped she didn't see them leaving.

"Only one she I can think of," Lily spat, "and sadly she might have."

"She can't stop them from going off with Hagrid," Remus miserably tried to argue, already feeling it pointless.

Harry said Umbridge was surrounded by her Inquisitorial Squad like she was expecting trouble, there was a good chance she hadn't noticed them.

"Guess she understands less than I thought, which is saying something. No one would try a prank during a Quidditch game," Sirius heavily rolled his eyes.

Hagrid said that may be good for them, give them more time, as he started heading towards the Forest.

Lily began playing with a strand of hair with nerves. She knew Hagrid wasn't purposefully leading Harry to anything dangerous, but this was certainly not a pleasant beginning in her opinion, and it was nice to see the others faces showed agreement even as well used to the Forest as they were.

Hermione asked what they were doing as they went across the lawn, but in favor of answering Hagrid heard a roar go up from the crowd behind them and asked if someone else had scored.

Harry said it would be Ravenclaw again.

Harry winced heavily and they all felt the same, maybe leaving had been a good idea anyways, that wasn't fun to think about.

Hagrid was so distracted, he said this was a good thing.

"Now I know he's not thinking right," Sirius grumped.

Hermione tried to turn into Hagrid's cabin when they passed it, but Hagrid kept walking right to the edge of the trees where his crossbow was waiting.

"He must have just come back from whatever he was training," Remus realized.

"Think he thinks he's finally got it domesticated and wants to show off?" James asked, that didn't feel important enough to be dragged away from Quidditch, but then, Hagrid had different priorities.

"I still think there's something more than that going on," Lily sighed. "It's very clear Hagrid cares deeply for something new going on, just training a new best can't really mean more than his job?" She phrased it as a question though, none of them were quite sure of Hagrid's comments from before.

Harry asked why he needed that, he hadn't taken it with him when they'd seen the Thestrals.

"This new thing of his is less and less encouraging," Sirius agreed.

Hagrid said they hadn't been going in as deep, and that was before Firenze left the Forest.

"Why's that change anything?" Remus asked in surprise.

Hermione asked why that made a difference.

"Thank you Sirius!" Remus said quickly and with such a mocking gratitude you could almost believe it. "Really, just thank you so much for sharing that, I hadn't a clue I'd done it!"

"Alright, no need to get snippy," Sirius smirked.

Hagrid said the other centaurs were now very riled up. It used to be he could go wherever he liked in this Forest, they were always friendly, but not anymore.

"What's that got to do with Hagrid though?" James ruffled up his brow.

"Familiar loyalty," Sirius nodded to himself as he explained aloud. "The centaurs know Hagrid's trust in Dumbledore, they'll blame anyone associated with him right now for what he asked a Centaur to do."

"But it was Firenze's decision," Harry protested. "Why be mad at us?"

"For offering it," Remus sighed.

Harry felt a deep chill web around his mind, promising he had no want to deal with an angry centaur.

Angry didn't cover it, they were livid with Dumbledore and Firenze, probably would have kicked their fellow centaur to death if Hagrid hadn't stepped in, he'd had half the herd on him.

They all gave sympathetic noises for that, Harry even saw some traces of fear in them at the same time. He could hardly imagine the scene himself, but just the thought was giving him the creeps, it probably was terrifying thinking about all this in detail when he wasn't so distracted wondering why he may have seen it in person.

Harry was amazed Hagrid had stopped all that, and Hagrid said he certainly couldn't have just stood by. Then he added more menacingly he'd have thought Firenze would remember that before sending stupid warnings.

"I'm worried he was trying to return a favor," Lily muttered, still considering Hagrid's injuries. They weren't yet deadly, but if he kept at it, they may keep progressing.

Hermione asked if that's what Hagrid wanted their help with, the centaurs?

"Oh he'd never ask for your help with that," Remus said at once.

"And those injuries started up well before this," Lily agreed.

Hagrid simply said no, and kept plunging deeper into the shadows. Harry wasn't too worried, he'd been in the Forest a few times and followed Hagrid willingly, until he stepped off the path. Remembering vividly what had happened in his past when he did this, he tried to ask where they were going, but Hagrid didn't answer as he plunged into the more wild parts of the woods. Harry and Hermione had a hard time following, often getting caught in thickets and brambles while Hagrid walked right through them.

"I'm surprised he hasn't created a new path, as often as he seems to have headed to this thing," James said, his eyes still narrowed suspiciously to what Hagrid had added to a Forest he knew so well.

After several miles of heavy silence where even the snapping of a twig felt ominous, it occurred to him that he had never managed to get this far into the Forest without meeting some kind of creature.

The tense unease kept growing in here, like the book was pressing that darkness out and shadowing the whole room with its eerie vibe. Harry had yet had a very pleasant experience in this Forest in any sense, and even with Hagrid inviting them into this one, they could already feel it wasn't going to turn out much better.

When Hagrid came to an abrupt halt, Harry walked right into him and fell back into a thorny bush Hermione had to dig him out of.

Hagrid apologized and decided to explain back here before they got to the spot, and began by saying there was a good chance he'd be getting the sack any day.

"He did not bring them all the way out there to say that," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"No," Remus agreed, "but we know he finds this more important than that, so at least we're finally getting that answer."

Hermione said he'd done well so far, what changed?

Hagrid said Umbridge thought he'd put that Niffler in her office.

"That's ridiculous," Remus scoffed at once, it was akin to him doing that, and he'd never put anything in her vicinity if he could help it.

"And when has she ever done anything remotely reasonable," Sirius' face was scrunched up for the ludicrousness of it even as he agreed.

Harry asked if it was before he'd thought about it.

"Harry," James said in exasperation, his son should know full well Hagrid would never use a creature for such a purpose.

"I know," Harry agreed with his idiotics. "Reflex question." This lot knew all about that.

Hagrid said no, but that hadn't convinced Umbridge, who associated any problems with creatures on him. He'd honestly leave now so that he wouldn't have to suffer in public like Trelawney had.

James didn't have to think about that one at all as he nodded in agreement, he could respect that.

He'd be useful to the Order out there helping Dumbledore.

"Hagrid knows where Dumbledore is?" That one caught Remus by surprise.

"I wouldn't be surprised if the Order actually does," Lily shrugged, "even if we're not sure now."

They had Grubbly-Plank to get them through their exams, his voice wobbled there and broke.

Lily felt a heartbreaking sigh pour out of her, she didn't want Hagrid to ever feel unneeded! She wanted him in her son's life just for being such a good man, no matter how he was in a class!

The problem was, he couldn't just leave without telling anyone, and he needed their help, and Ron's if he was willing.

Harry agreed at once asking what he needed them to do?

"You have such a big heart," Lily told her son, starting to feel a little teary eyed herself for what Hagrid was going through.

Harry had no response for that, he'd do anything to help his friend.

Hagrid thanked them tearfully, and led them the rest of the way.

"I thought he said he was going to explain!" Sirius said, the suspense was about to kill him. "He just stopped to tell them what was going on!"

"That's the same thing," Remus told him just to keep James paused for an extra second.

Sirius scowled at him, while James decided to ignore them anyways.

They reached a small clearing where a great mound was in front of them like a den, and all around were trees ripped up by the roots. Hagrid breathed sleeping, and Harry heard it too, a great set of lungs at work. He looked sideways at Hermione, who looked terrified.

"I don't blame her," Remus muttered, his mind flipping through all sorts of things that lived inside mounds, though as this could be something undiscovered even any of those may not be possible.

James was more in deep curiosity than anything. Hagrid was there, he had no fear Harry would come to any harm.

She asked who is he?

"Err," Lily began in confusion, sure she'd heard wrong.

Then she kept going, her voice shaking why he was here, Hagrid had said none wanted to come!

"What's, Hermione, on, about?" Sirius said slowly, he couldn't put together such a declaration with just an animal...

Harry looked to Hagrid, Hermione, and then realization struck as he looked back at the mounded earth, which in fact was moving in time with the deep breaths. It was a curved back.

"A giant!" Remus interrupted with a near shriek. "He actually brought a giant into that forest!"

James' voice had failed him, his mouth left hanging open so he couldn't have kept going even when the book had broken off. This truly was a new level of unbelievable.

"Has he lost his mind!" Sirius was so blown away by this one he wouldn't even deny the squeak in his voice. "A giant! A real, bloody, giant!"

Harry felt just as numb as the others from shock, but it was his fumbling fingers that snagged the book away to try and force this to keep going.

Hagrid agreed he hadn't exactly wanted to, but Hagrid had to bring him.

"It's his family," Lily whispered, her eyes still too wide from shock, but a flash of understanding lit them nonetheless.

"When he was at the Three Broomsticks," James recalled breathlessly.

"Oh Hagrid," Remus groaned in sudden understanding, genuine sympathy now for the man even if he couldn't find the air to really say it.

Sirius wasn't quite there yet, he was still putting his mind into the thought someday he'd walk into his Forest and a giant would be there!

Hermione demanded why!

Hagrid insisted that if he just spent a little time around here, taught him some manners, he could show everyone how harmless he was.

"Harmless!" Lily said near hysterics. "He's been beating the shit out of him for months!"

"Hasn't killed him yet though," Sirius couldn't help but point out as this started to fully form in his mind.

"Was that supposed to make me feel better?" Lily demanded, her voice wasn't lowering in volume and starting to hurt their ears.

Hermione accused this was why he was always injured. Hagrid defended he didn't know his own strength.

"That I'd actually believe," Remus said slowly, some form of acceptance starting to set in as he really thought past the shock.

Hermione still couldn't believe this was why he'd taken two extra months to get home!

"Yeah, I'd say lugging a giant behind you could slow you down!" Lily's voice was still extremely high pitched, but at least she was making an attempt to lower it now.

Hermione demanded why he had, he'd have been happier with his own kind!

Hagrid insisted he'd been picked on while there for being so small.

"Small." James repeated the word slowly, shaking his head back and forth as he was stuck in the same vision as Sirius, their forays into the Forest suddenly being interrupted by a giant crashing through a nearby tree, no one wanted to know how Moony would have reacted to that. Yet thankfully Harry reading was putting a good distance from that image, and James got the book back from Harry without fuss.

Hermione repeated small in near hysterics.

"I suppose, by that description, he's either not fully grown, or a runt," Remus nodded.

"Try telling him that," Harry muttered, his mind still boggled at such a huge movement as his breathing.

Hagrid pleaded with them to understand, near tears as he told that was his brother.

"That, is a relation, that makes sense," Lily grudgingly agreed, finally her voice only just a touch more off than usual, but sympathy for Hagrid's situation was finally pushing past the shock. It was the same as always, she trusted Hagrid. If he said his brother hadn't meant to hurt anyone, then she'd just have to believe he wasn't going to turn on her son the moment he awoke.

Well, half-brother, he amended. His mum had another child when she'd left his dad, Grawp here.

"Grawp?" Harry repeated curiously.

"Never claimed giants had our kind of names," Sirius shrugged, his brow still set deep in thought, but now he was almost back to normal and could appreciate Hagrid's position at least.

Harry wasn't sure he'd heard that right, and Hagrid said that's what he thought was being said when asked for a name. He didn't know much English, though Hagrid had been teaching him. His mother had abandoned Grawp as well for being so small, so he was all alone, he was only sixteen feet.

"Poor Hagrid," Lily went new, her voice now coming out in a whisper as now she felt like Hagrid needed a hug, after she popped him over the head for giving her heart failure.

Hermione's voice was still in shrieking shock as she said how miniscule that was!

"Who knew Hermione turned sarcastic during these times," Sirius muttered, he couldn't get a joke to his mind yet.

Hagrid insisted he was being kicked around by the others.

Harry asked what Maxime had thought of this, and Hagrid said she'd realized how important this was to him, but got tired of fighting to get him back, so she'd just promised not to tell anyone.

"Good woman, that," James sighed, knowing he'd probably have done the exact same as Maxime, he wouldn't pretend he'd try to handle a giant, even a...small one.

Harry asked how he'd even gotten back here. Hagrid explained they could only travel by night and very out of the way, Grawp could cover quite a bit of distance when he wanted to, the problem was he didn't, kept wanting to go back.

Harry gave a pitiful sigh, he didn't need to ask. He'd been kicked around plenty in his youth but had always returned home because he'd always known he had nowhere else to go. Hagrid seemed to have a gift for taking wayward souls away.

Hermione buried her face in her fingers as she asked why Hagrid hadn't just let him, what was he going to do with a violent giant?

Hagrid defended violent was too strong, he took a swing now and again when he was in a mood, but he was getting better.

Harry asked what the ropes were for then?

"Well if he was wanting to go back, I suppose I can see Hagrid stopping him leaving when he wasn't around," Sirius frowned heavily.

As Harry's eyes had adjusted and made out more detail, he found ropes binding the giants ankles and around his waist.

Hagrid repeated he didn't know his own strength, and Harry now understood why there were no other creatures in the area.

"Oh yeah, I can see that," James finally nodded at something that made sense to him in his forest.

Hermione circled back to asking what Hagrid wanted them to do?

"Almost forgot about that," Remus shivered, he didn't like the idea of Harry around...Grawp with Hagrid around, now Hagrid was asking them to keep looking after a hateful giant after Hagrid was gone! How was this worse than the Skrewts?

Hagrid just said he needed looking after, while Harry and Hermione exchanged an uncomfortable look, well aware they'd already promised Hagrid they would.

"I feel as if at some point there's a line, and he crossed it," Lily said miserably, as she wouldn't feel right backing out of this either even with the circumstances. "A bruised rib to Hagrid could knock your skeleton right out of you! I'm sorry Harry, but I'm worried this one's above you!"

Harry certainly wasn't going to argue the point.

Harry did not argue the point, and they were just as relieved as they were upset for Hagrid Harry didn't seem gung ho to keep this particular promise.

Hermione asked for details, and Hagrid said nothing too big. He got his own food, birds or deer that traveled through,

James looked vaguely offended, even if he knew it to be true. It just wasn't helping his mind's eye as he kept imagining trying to run away from this thing.

Hagrid really just wanted them to come out here and talk to him, help teach him along in talking.

Harry said nothing as he kept eying Grawp, picking out details. Now he saw that his feet were the size of sleds and bare, his clothes seemed roughly stitched together. His head was like a boulder sitting right atop his shoulders with his ears sitting more on the area where his neck should be.

Remus couldn't deny a touch of fascination in him at Harry's description. He'd only heard general depictions of them as well, and though he still had no want to meet one in person, Harry's were always more vivid than usual texts.

Harry hollowly repeated Hagrid's want for them to teach him English. He now understood what Firenze's warning had meant.

"I almost wish I didn't," Sirius grumbled, in this case ignorance had been bliss.

He could just imagine the other creatures of this Forest hearing Hagrid's vain attempts to teach Grawp English.

Hagrid agreed cheerfully, even if they just came out here to chat with him, keep him around people.

Harry looked to Hermione and said it made him wish for Norbert back.

Sirius blanched for a moment, but after considering he told, "no, actually this is still marginally better. I'll take whatever form of intelligence this thing posses over that beast."

"Wow," Harry said towards him, as of now he'd still rather have it the other way.

Hagrid misunderstood, confirming that they'd do it?

"He really didn't get that was supposed to be a bad thing?" James muttered, that concept seemed lost on Hagrid quite a bit.

Harry uneasily said they'd try-

Hagrid beamed at him, saying he'd known he could count on him!

Even as Lily shook her head in exasperation for Hagrid, she was smiling just a bit as well now. She couldn't deny some part of her was happy for Hagrid finally having a bit of family back to him.

He insisted it wouldn't be much, just nip out here once a week, then he decided to introduce them.

Hermione said that wasn't necessary!

"Well yes it is," Remus corrected. "Much safer to be first seen with Hagrid, at least he knows him."

"And considers him his kidnapper," James reminded hollowly. "So I'm really torn here."

Harry still didn't want to say what was really on his mind, he didn't really have a want to see Grawp again with or without Hagrid.

Hagrid ignored them, picked up a long sturdy branch, and jabbed Grawp in the back with it.

"He just poked a giant!" James said faintly, unable to believe what he'd just said and stuck on that one for several moments before Harry gave him a commiserating pat on the shoulder that was probably supposed to be reassuring.

Grawp woke with an ear splitting roar that shook birds from trees. He got onto his knees to turn around and see who was here, and Hagrid greeted him as Grawpy, telling he'd brought company.

Harry and Hermione backpedaled as far as they could while keeping him in sight, as his face leaned in like a dull grey full moon.

All three Marauders blanched in shock at the description they weren't taking kindly too.

His features seemed misshapen, the nose of no real design, the hair looking more like moss even a dark brown, and his pupils were rather tiny and currently still cummed with sleep. He took to his feet with surprising agility and turned away.

"Don't ever underestimate speed for size," Remus agreed, James wanting to smack him for starting to sound more interested than resigned like the rest of them.

He went over to the nearest tree and plucked a birds nest up out of the higher branches, turning it upside down and pelting them with eggs like grenades below.

"I can see how riveted he was by the company," James said deadpan.

"Be pleased while it lasts," Lily grumbled, at least finding some small comfort Grawp hadn't at once started trying to take Hagrid's limb off.

Hagrid tried to keep his attention, yelling to Grawp about that trip he'd be going on, and these were his new friends who'd be coming to visit him.

"I thought he couldn't understand English quite yet," Sirius shifted uneasily.

"I can see why Hagrid does it though," Remus shrugged, "that's one of the ways you learn other languages, hearing them as well as practicing to speak them."

"Oh, so now it's a good idea," James frowned at him.

"I'm not saying Harry should do it," Remus defended, "I just understand why Hagrid is talking to him."

Grawp took no notice, Harry wasn't even sure if the giant recognized what Hagrid was doing was speech. He'd instead sized the nearest tree and began pulling on the top, the fascination on his face making it clear he did it for the simple pleasure of seeing how far he could go before it would spring back.

"Exactly how old is he?" Lily asked.

"Not sure," Harry muttered, "I only know what Hagrid said."

"He could be older than Hagrid, we don't know which kid came first, though I think Hagrid assumed it was himself." Remus shrugged.

"Either way, I don't see what that has to do with anything," Sirius muttered.

Lily considered this response more to do with the fact Sirius would probably try to do the same thing if he was that size no matter what age.

Hagrid tried to tell him not to, that's how he'd pulled up the last ones, but when the creaking roots could be heard, Hagrid intervened and gave him another jab with the stick.

Grawp looked down with an expression of clear annoyance as Hagrid waved to Harry and Hermione. Grawp only just seemed to realize their presence as he gazed down at them still half hidden behind a tree.

"How good is a giant's eye sight?" Harry asked wearily, he wasn't going to enjoy the experience of one checking out his hairline.

"As good as ours I'd imagine," Remus scratched at his ear. "Perhaps better, as they hunt more naturally than we do."

He introduced Harry first, and tried to do the same for Hermione, but realized her full name may be beyond him, so asked her if he could call her Hermy.

Hermione gave a squeaky agreement.

"I know I would have protested," Sirius sniffed. "If my name was the first four syllable word he'd said, it could be an accomplishment."

Hagrid introduced Hermy to Grawp,

"So does that mean we can start calling her-"

"No," Harry told Sirius flatly before he could even finish.

saying she was going to come out here as well and, Grawp no!

James nearly jumped from his chair in surprise, he hadn't intended to shout that so loud but he'd just been getting back to a place of normalcy in his mind as he adjusted to this situation, now Hagrid was scolding him!

Grawp's hand had shot out of nowhere and tried to seize Hermione, but Harry reacted a moment faster and pulled her back behind the tree as Grawps palm scraped against the bark but seized on air.

Lily gasped, watching Harry's arms tense at his side now like he was prepared to pull her away again.

Hagrid scolded he was being a bad boy, not to grab, while Hermione clung to Harry whimpering.

"Oh, he wouldn't have really hurt her!" Remus tried, and failed to say even as he'd gone a bit white in shock. "He might have just been trying to pick her up, out of curiosity-"

"And look how well that's worked out for Hagrid," Harry shuddered all over.

Then Hagrid let out his own yelp of pain, and Harry poked his head back out to see Grawp had swatted Hagrid away and gone back to his tree.

"Good to know of his attention span I suppose," James tried to say around a squeak, there was just no way he could find some fun in this one.

Hagrid stumped over to them holding his newly broken nose, saying that was enough for one day.

Some color finally started coming back to James' face, Lily was still rubbing at her chest, and the other three were still trying hard not to show they were shaking. A giant. This was a new level, even for Hagrid...

They began walking away, Harry and Hermione still struck dumb. Hagrid actually wanted them to come visit a giant in the Forbidden Forest and pointlessly teach him English?

"Now that's pushing it," Remus couldn't quite push into scolding as he was still shifting his weight in unease. "You heard Hagrid say he had full conversations with them, they can be spoken to as well as a Centaur if you give them half a chance, this one in particular just never seems to have been put into any type of situation like this."

Harry looked at him like he wasn't sure what to say to that. He'd put up with a lot of crazy things for Hagrid, and this one still felt like the worst.

Harry had never understood Hagrid's insistence the most killing things were lovable and harmless, but this was a new one fooling himself Grawp could mix with humans.

"That one is stretching it just a touch," Sirius agreed. "He'd be just fine spending his days in a far off proximity, but not unapproachable, if Hagrid shows we're not all bad." He couldn't quite put the right tone into place, he still wanted to rage at Hagrid for putting a giant into the Forbidden Forest! If the name hadn't been appropriate before, it was now!

Then Hagrid took them both by surprise by drawing his crossbow and fitting an arrow in.

"There's a giant in the forest," Lily enunciated clearly like they already would have forgotten. "I can't imagine something much scarier, and Hagrid hadn't pulled a weapon on him."

Even still, James was back to bouncing his leg with unease. He knew plenty of things Harry could expect in there, and it was good for Hagrid to be on guard, they seemed far enough away from Grawp this was necessary.

They waited in tense silence until a male voice told Hagrid he was no longer welcome here.

"Can the Centaurs do that?" James protested in further outrage, that was somehow even more offensive to him than the giant.

"By our laws, no," Remus said carefully. "The Forest is property of the school, so it's technically Hogwarts land...but the Centaurs may well recognize no such thing. It's rather a conflict that's never had to be brought up in our history, for we've never fought over the space."

"That Forest has been there since Hufflepuff sanctioned it back when the castle was being built," Sirius offered to Harry.

"The stories are unclear though, if the Centaurs were already in the area, or if the Hogwarts Founders created it and they claimed it," James sighed.

Lily was honestly impressed at their history lesson, and so apparently was Harry as he tried to keep focus on this and told them how interesting that was even as he kept looking worriedly at nothing. He didn't like this set up, Grawp not too far off, angry centaurs...

A whole group of centaurs had arrived, including one Harry recognized as Bane. Hagrid wearily greeted the foremost, Magorian, who gave no friendly greeting back, repeating Hagrid was no longer welcome here after he'd helped the traitor Firenze enter servitude.

Hagrid protested this, saying he was doing a favor for Dumbledore!

"There is no point arguing this," James said tensely. Even having Hagrid describe the fight before had made him uneasy, now Harry may well find himself in the middle of it.

"Hagrid won't really start something," Lily tried to say with conviction, "he'll get them out of there, he's been dealing with this for a while now at least."

The centaur said there was no coming back from such disgrace, and Hagrid had lost the friendship of the centaurs by helping him, he was no longer welcome in their forest.

Hagrid shot back he wasn't going to be hearing any of this 'their'. It wasn't their say who came and went here.

Magorian cut in no more than Hagrid's. He'd let him pass today because he was with his young,

"His young," James couldn't help but mutter that a second time, though they'd all long since noticed Hagrid seemed to have as unofficially adopted the kids as much as Molly had.

Bane interrupted they were not his, but students, profiting from the teachings of the traitor Firenze!

"I would not call his vague life's a mystery speech profiting," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Not helping," Remus hissed at him.

Magorian did not waver, they did not hurt the innocent. Hagrid may pass today, but this was his final warning.

Hagrid shouted he wasn't going to let these mules tell him where he could and couldn't go.

They all began itching terribly in fear of this fight. It was probably easier not being there, but they could see both sides in light, and didn't care about either! They just wanted Harry to get out of there!

The centaurs turned to leave anyways, but Hagrid kept shouting after them he wasn't going to let them scare him off. Harry and Hermione put their hands on Hagrid's back to try and force him to move along, but then he glanced down in surprise like he hadn't even felt it.

"Bloody hell," James blinked in surprise. Not that they'd ever tried, but they'd have liked to think Hagrid would have at least registered the two!

He told them to calm down, they wouldn't really do anything, then he took off again as if nothing had happened.

Hermione uneasily kept pace, trying to say to Hagrid that if the centaurs weren't letting people come through, than the three of them wouldn't be much help to Grawp.

Hagrid brushed this off, repeating their own words they wouldn't hurt the innocent. Besides, they shouldn't let those centaurs push them around.

"I see where he's coming from," Sirius said genuinely, he knew he'd have a few things to say if a centaur had ever told them off for being caught in there.

"But while I admire Hagrid for not letting them push him around," James grudgingly agreed, "it wouldn't kill him not to insult them while he's at it!"

"A little avoidance can go a long way," Remus agreed, knowing Hagrid knew this place well enough he should be able to pass by Centaur heavy areas just like they could.

Harry watched all of them with a small smile of pride in place. As if he'd needed further evidence they weren't still fifteen, but here they were actually speaking of avoiding a real life fight.

Harry told Hermione nice try at her disappointment this hadn't made a dent in Hagrid.

They rejoined the daylight to see people pouring out of the stadium laughing and cheering,

James spluttered in surprise, he'd actually forgotten a game was going on!

"Well, I found something to cheer me up next time Ron's goal keeping is mentioned," Sirius groaned. "Teaching ABC's to a giant!"

and Hagrid told them to hurry along into that so they wouldn't be missed, then he went to his cabin. Harry and Hermione trudged back looking distinctly out of place with their numerous tiny cuts and twigs in their hair, but Hermione took no notice of this as she said she couldn't believe him!

"Oh I do," Lily sighed. In Hagrid's...inflated world, she really did see where he was coming from, but did he have to drag Harry into this one?

Harry tried to get her to calm down, but she wouldn't hear it. A giant in the Forest! He wanted them to teach English to it, assuming they could get past the murderous centaurs!

"I think the centaurs scare me more than the giant!" Remus shivered harder than ever to prove his point.

"That didn't make me feel better," Harry told him, a still rather distracted look in place as he had no clue why he agreed with him.

Harry tried to say they didn't have to do anything yet, and Umbridge might not-

Hermione cut him off to say of course she'd get rid of him, and after this who could blame her!

"I can!" They yelped in protest. It was very clear Harry wasn't the only one losing his temper this year if Hermione was going to be saying nonsense like that!

There was a pause in which Harry glared at her, and her eyes filled slowly with tears.

"At least she regretted it," James sighed, letting go of his anger the moment he read that. Hermione did care, she was just scared, they all were at this news.

She admitted she didn't mean that, but the rest of her words were cut off by singing.

Insert Gryffindor version of Weasley is Our King.

James paused with his head cocked to the side in confusion, his wild hair looking more flyaway than ever as he shook it and told them he hadn't read that wrong. Hardly daring to pretend to understand the mix up, he kept going in a slow, forced calm voice.

Hermione began miserably she wished they'd stop gloating, it was already bad enough, but then Harry whispered it wasn't the Slytherin's singing as the edited lyrics continued.

"No, way," Sirius whispered, his eyes now locked on James with nothing else going through his ears.

"They, used the lyrics," Remus spluttered, a grin spreading across his mouth more from surprise than actual pleasure hitting him yet.

James ignored them both, Lily and Harry were still sitting there with their mouths open in shock as he practically shouted the rest.

Hermione whispered no in surprise, Harry shouted yes in excitement, and Ron caught sight of both of them atop many people's shoulders and shouted about their win!

Lily squealed in triumph, clapping and bouncing in place as they all began laughing and cheering loudly. The damn broke, James hardly wanted to finish he was dancing around in so much excitement, but he also couldn't have stopped yelling the words in triumph no matter how hard he tried!

They beamed up at him as he passed. There was a scrum at the door of the castle and Ron's head got rather badly bumped on the lintel,

Sirius laughed so hard he nearly fell out of his seat and banged his own head on the table, and no one stopped to notice that either in their fusing excitement. They didn't have to keep worrying about Grawp right now, this was something so immensely good instead!

They waited until the large cheering crowd had stormed past before turning back to each other, their smiles fading a bit.

Harry said they'd tell him tomorrow.

"You are the best friend ever," Remus assured Harry, or at least tried to over the din. No one would want to be the one to tell all this to Ron in such a glorious moment.

Hermione agreed as they headed up to the party, but both stopped at the door and looked back, wondering if it was their imagination a bunch of birds shooting into the sky far off into the Forest, as if something had just tried to pull up their tree by its roots.

James hardly paid this any mind, the giant wasn't actually hurting anything in the forest yet, but this was wonderful!

"I can't believe you missed that!" Sirius shouted right in Harry's ear, and he hardly even noticed. "You, you actually missed the Quidditch Cup, and they won!"

"I'm sorry, okay," Harry raised his hands in defence even as he couldn't straighten up in his seat from his shoulders shaking too hard. "I know Ron'll make sure I hear every last thing!"

James suddenly didn't want to give the book up to Sirius. This was fantastic! So many bad things had happened this year, but he was actually hoping this was a pattern that was going to keep going, and with his luck Sirius was probably going to get to read about something happening to Umbridge finally. Surely Grawp was the worst thing to happen to Harry the rest of the year.

HPHPHPHP

  *This is one of those spells I genuinely question, why? If you just want to transfigure the cup, then you're in the wrong class. If the goal is for the cup to sprout legs to bring you, like a sugar bowl or something, levitate it to you. This...is just so entirely random to be an actual spell being practiced in class!

[lucius-a-malfoy]

Full Audition

TW: Death & Abuse

OUT OF CHARACTER

NAME | Leah

AGE | 28

PRONOUNS | She/Her

TIMEZONE |  EST

ACTIVITY LEVEL | 6-7 I work full time but I can be around evenings and weekends plus answer messages during the day

TRIGGERS | Suicide

PREVIOUS RP ACCOUNTS | Prior Lucius Account (I do see him a little darker and different in this group though)

ANYTHING ELSE| Trigger warnings for Abuse and Death in the audition, particularly freeform portion

IN CHARACTER

CHARACTER DETAILS | Lucius Abraxas Malfoy, he/him, Pureblood. I would like to use Cody Fern as his FC please

WHAT DREW YOU IN | So the story goes like this: A friend and I were talking about Marauders era RPs and I commented “I just don’t think I could play Lucius.” I then promptly stayed up all night thinking about how I would play him and he just got really under my skin and I realized I in fact could play him. He’s so self righteous and confident, even though he often has no true reason to be other than his family name, and even that confidence is conditional with his father’s voice always chiming in his ear he’s not enough. He’s cool and detached and calculated--he’s the mind behind the madness to me, the expert chess player who isn’t afraid to lose a few pawns to secure the win. 

I think there’s something really interesting to Lucius in your plot though--he’s just lost his father and being thrust into a spot of power and likely leadership. In many ways, I see this leaving Lucius at a bit of a loss. He and his father’s relationship has neer been good, Merlin knows he doesn’t know the first thing about what fatherly love could possibly look like. But he’s always done as his father told him. Always followed Abraxas’s guidance. His father’s alway been the one to point him in the right direction and tell him what to do. Except now he’s not here. And there’s more weight on his shoulders than ever. On top of that, the Mundus Novus is expecting him to step up, to fill his father’s place, to be a leader. It has all the potential for power he’s always wanted. With one twenty tiny little catch. Being a leader in a fledgling rebellion that is ready to step out against not one but two great powers means thinking about other people and, well, that never has been Lucius’s strong suit. 

He’s at a point where he could have everything he’s ever wanted--leadership, power, adoration, glory, the Wizarding World bowing to his feet. But...suddenly...he’s realizing just how much goes into all of that. It’s not that he’s not ready (no...no...of course not, he was totally anticipating his father to just suddenly keel over of Dragon Pox) but it’s a bit overwhelming. Not that he could ever, ever dare let that show to anyone. And the idea of being on the opposite end of Tom Riddle’s wand...well it certainly sounded better when it was just an idea coming out of his father’s mouth. We’re really seeing Lucius at a turning point, seeing just what he has in him and if he had the true ability to lead or if it’s all been a facade all this time.

OCCUPATION AND SOCIAL STATUS | 

Occupation: Improper Use of Magic Department of the Ministry of Magic -- There were only two options for Lucius upon graduation--either become a socialite doing nothing or begin work at the Ministry. And his father would never approve of him being a socialite. So really there was only one option for him upon graduation. The Improper Use of Magic Department was, like most things in his life, a strategic choice. First of course was the practical. Learning how the Ministry pins people for Improper Use means knowing all of the loopholes. It opens up possibilities of knowledge not only for himself, but for the Death Eaters (and now the Mundus Novus). Additionally, when you’re a key figure in organizations like the DE and MN, sometimes you want to find the rule breakers. He’s certainly used his position to scout new recruits for Voldemort’s army and his father was all set to use his new role for just that as well. The second purpose is a bit more on the selfish side--but then aren’t most things with Lucius? He has always been deeply fascinated with dark objects. Hexed daggers, charmed necklaces, portkeys with too much strength to strictly pass Ministry regulations. And what better way to grow his collection than to take them while on the job? A little change of charges here and little switch in evidence found there and look at that, he’s the new owner of a priceless vanishing cabinet. The job serves his purposes just fine--and it’s not like he really needs the money, so what other need is there for a job?

Social Status & Family Name: Everyone in the Wizarding World knows the Malfoy name. Even those outside the UK’s Wizarding World. Calling them a pillar of strength and synonymous with wealth almost does them a disservice. Lucius has always gotten by on his family’s name and reputation and he would have it no other way. They’re not known to be nice, but nice doesn’t get anything done. They’re known for power. They’re known for wealth. They’re known for intelligence. And Lucius will be damned if that ends with him. He can practically hear his father clawing his way out of his coffin at the mere suggestion. In public, the Malfoy name earns you respect and fear or at the very least that people know who you are the second you walk in the room. It’s nothing but wonderful. Behind closed doors? Well...it isn’t just in public that Malfoys are cold and abusive, even to their own. And if it weren’t for the house elves’ extensive healing spells, a young Lucius would have had the bruises to prove that one. Being a Malfoy mean expectation and consequence when you fail to meet those expectations. Yes, Lucius has more on his shoulders now than ever, but even before he walked into the halls of Hogwarts he carried a millenniums long family history he was meant to live up to.

AFFILIATION AND POSITION | 

Death Eaters: Being a Death Eater was never really a choice--sure, he would have chosen it if given the chance, it was after all, everything he had been raised to believe in. But joining the ranks was simply and expectation. His father has known Voldemort long enough that Lucius knows the name Tom Riddle and was among his first disciples. Lucius was raised on all the same ideas of blood purity and blood superiority, raised believing that to be a Death Eater was true glory, that Voldemort was to be a leader to their people that would leave people wondering who Gellert Grindelwald was anyway. Lucius was raised with the ideals early and gained his dark mark at only seventeen, something he bore with pride for years and to an extent still does. But his father spent the last few years whispering in his ear that this wasn’t enough. That this man (because remember, this is just Tom Riddle, a man, a boy, not some monstrous figure too good for a real name) wasn’t one of them, was a half-blood for Merlin’s sake. What would he know about blood purity? 

Mundus Novus: And it was that though that really brought Lucius around to his father’s new idea. There was already a structure in place that said who the best of the best were. There were already twenty-eight families set out to rule over the rest of them. The Malfoys are among them. So why are they serving as soldiers in a war where they ought to be generals? Much the way he was pulled into the Death Eaters early in life, he was an early member of the Mundus, one of the first outside the founding five to enter its ranks, a founding member and bringing his wife with him. He simply doesn’t see why he would settle for being just another wizard in the Death Eater ranks when he could go into legend in the Mundus ranks. He’s already a member of the Twenty Eight. He’s already better than the very mass majority of the Wizarding World. And finally there’s an organization that can see that. 

It is no secret that he’s a member of the Death Eaters and, frankly, it never really has been. Now Mundus has kept a little more tight lipped about their existence at all, but frankly as news of the group’s possible existence, the odds he’ll be tied to it likely won’t take long. He’s not worried about how the Order will react to the news. The so called Dark Lord though...well he is a bit more of a threat.

Within the Death Eaters, Lucius is a Keyholder and a Soldier. Among the Mundus Novus, I see Lucius serving as a Captain and with his father’s passing, all eyes are on him to see just how far he takes the role and how far up the food chain he’ll fight. 

FUTURE PLOTS | What are some plots or connections that you’d like to see played out for your character? Please elaborate on 2-3 plot/connection ideas.

Plots:

Lucius no longer believes Voldemort is the right one to be leading the blood purity charge. He’s not even pureblood himself. But Lucius is still very aware of how strong he is. Truth be told, Lucius is actually scared of him finding out he’s a member of Mundus. He tried to hide his fear, he’s beaten it down for years--the fear of his parents, the fear of failure, fear of people seeing below the carefully crafted facade. I think it will be interesting to play on his fear of Voldemort coinciding with his growing role and responsibility within Mundus Novus. 

I have this little headcanon that the reason he has the cane-wand in Harry Potter times is actually because he needs it. He got injured in the war somehow that couldn’t ever be fully magically healed and actually needs a cane so, well, he we with the most obnoxious design he could find for it. So I am absolutely here for him getting injured at some point.

Connections (of course pending player agreement):

Lucius was surprised that his father actually wanted his input on who should and should not make the ranks of Mundus Novus. And even more surprised when he listened. Lucius made one think very clear to his father--Bellatrix Lestrange was not to be a member.She’s wild and unhinged and while that makes her strong, it also makes her a liability. Her unerring faith to Voldemort only makes things worse. She would be anything but an asset to the cause, no matter how pure her or her husband’s blood line are. He knows Narcissa isn’t pleased with it and god knows Bellatrix won’t be, but it’s for the best. If they’re looking for a good bloodline and one that will be faithful? Well Bellatrix doesn’t make the cut. 

Narcissa Black was always the best of the Black girls by a long stretch. He was glad that of the girls, she was the one his parents chose for him. That’s what it was really, their parents setting them up, practically an arranged marriage really. Not that Lucius had  any qualms about it, he had his eye on her so soon after her arrival at Hogwarts. She was beautiful and smart and looks enough like him that their children would be sure to still bear a resemblance to him. She’s a perfect match for him really. But he doesn’t love her. He doesn’t even really know what love is truthfully. But whatever it is, he doesn’t have it for Narcissa. He’s said all the right things, made all the right moves, feigned it just enough that maybe, just maybe she believes he does. Because even if he doesn’t love her, he needs her. She’s a good match, good blood, good looks, a good partner, and the right person to bring the next Malfoy heir into the world. Narcissa is another in a long line of strategic choices in his life and he won’t let this one be the one that falls apart.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t keep everyone out. He didn’t even think it needed to be said that Sirius Black didn’t deserve a spot in the new world order. And yet, for some reason, here he is anyway. He turned his back on the cause once and Lucius has heard all the tails about how he’s far too close with Fleamont Potter’s boy. Lucius can’t stand the fact that he’s been let into the sacred circle and he doesn’t trust him for a second. Maybe what his father overlooked, Lucius can correct. Though that means getting through Orion first.

Severus Snape has always been an intrigue to Lucius. If he were a pureblood, he would probably be more than that. He’s a skilled wizard--those rumors flew quickly enough and Lucius has seen the man’s potion abilities during their time in the Death Eaters for himself. There isn’t a place for him at the table Lucius is creating...but that doesn’t mean the table can’t be built on him. He has potential. He has use. He has connections to that pesky little group that calls themselves “The Marauders” as though it makes them someone important. Of the Death Eaters, Lucuis will be a bit disappointed when Serverus’s time comes to a close. If only his mother had chosen a better match, maybe he could have been something. Instead, Lucius plans to use him at every available moment until its the to clear the bloodstream once and for all.

If Lucius were really going to speak his tongue, he would have to demand from Orion why in the bloody hell he chose his older boy for Mundus when it’s so painfully clear Regulus is the only young Black (other than his own wife of course) who stands a chance of being worth anything. He’s young, yes, and unremarkable thus far. But that’s the fun thing about him. He’s not much of anything yet. Lucius has made it his goal to whisper all the things into Regulus’s ear that his father whispered into his. The Black boy is still malleable, still could be worth something, there’s potential there if only he can be broken away from his leach of a brother. And that’s just what Lucius intends to do. If he is the one to bring Orion Black’s son to the light? What a feat that would be.

Also Lucius’s mother is a pureblood Ravenclaw in my head so I’m always up for pureblood cousins who just don’t have the Malfoy name

CHARACTER STUDY

FREEFORM | This can be anything ranging from an in-character paragraph sample, a biography, headcanons, Q&A style, or any type of character study that inspires your muse and gives a good interpretation of who your character is. If you’re looking for a prompt, I’ve listed a couple general prompts on the FAQ PAGE to get you started. 

Bio (TW child abuse)

Lucius Malfoy’s childhood was everything you would imagine from the youth of a Malfoy. Born to one of the wizarding world’s most wealthy families, with a silver spoon in his mouth, he wanted for nothing he didn’t get. He had two parents, a library containing all the best wizarding lore and spellbooks, more toys than any one child could ever manage to play with. He had everything any child could ever ask for. Except perhaps for those two parents of his to be loving. Salinda Malfoy was too busy being anything but a mother, which was preferable to Abraxas, who believed very much fists spoke better than words. As a Malfoy, perfection was the expectation, not the exception, and Abraxas would go to any measure to ensure his son achieved it.

His mother was absentee at best and his father simply didn’t make time for his son--working for the Ministry was job enough. The pair had also followed Malfoy tradition of only procreating until the birth of the first son (it helped keep the bloodline clean and the money growing rather than being divvied among squabeling children), meaning Lucius had no siblings either. He was often left alone on the sprawling Malfoy Estate--other than the countless house elves of course, but they certainly don’t count--but never left to his own devices. Spellbooks were shoved into his hand from the time he could read and his father enforced the expectation of learning all he could while alone in the house, even if not allowed to practice as a child. There was no time for play if Lucius were to be good enough to carry on the Malfoy legacy. If he were to fail, his father stepped in to discipline and Lucius learned young that was not something he wanted to happen.

Hogwarts, then, should have been a safe haven. Away from the parents that had made his early years so difficult, and starting miles ahead of the others in knowledge. The wizarding school should have been an ideal place for the likes of Lucius Malfoy. Unfortunately, that wasn’t quite how it worked out. So many things were wrong with Hogwarts. First of all there were far too many mixed bloods and mudbloods. Both his parents had taught him the importance of blood purity and he hadn’t often been exposed to those who weren’t pureblood. Second, school was boring--he knew the basics of most everything they taught, even if he hadn’t used them in practice.  And third, and most egregious of all, it seemed there was a rather large portion of the population there that did not care he was Lucius Malfoy, son of Abraxas Malfoy and had more money than so many of them could ever dream of having. He simply didn’t know what to make of it. He had expected everyone at school to love him, and while he was well liked by his Slytherin peers, the other houses left something to be desired. And his father’s involvement with the ousting of Minister Leach only further divided the peers he wanted to be devoted to him.

One thing became abundantly clear about Lucius Malfor while in school. He was smart, naturally so, but he would far rather lie and cheat and manipulate than put in the full effort. Using banned charms for tests and his family name and money to convince professors to give him better grades than he deserved, it was all better than actually just doing the work. He was particularly gifted with unspoken spell work and potions brewing, all natural and not the result of anything from Hogwarts (now see, this is what happens when you keep a blood line clear), enough so to justify his boasting and appointment to Prefect. His grades were good, and his OWLs and NEWTs middling (something that proved he would never be too old for his father to quite literally beat proper behavior into his son). Sure, he wanted to be the best, but finding alternate ways to get there was always best. Besides, he cared more about being the most powerful than he did being the highest performing. 

By the time of graduation, Lucius Malfoy had mastered several skills, though none from the institution's teaching. From his father’s, shall we say, forceful teachings, he had learned a calm, cool surface worked best. Stay even, at all times, don’t let emotions show unless they are superiority or anger. He had also become incredibly talented at persuasion and manipulation and frankly often preferred them over spellcasting. Together, they had shown him the importance of appearances. Say what you need to say, do what you need to do, craft whatever lies needed to keep people eating out of the palm of your hand, and everything will always come up roses for you.

Between his reputation and his lineage, Lucius easily obtained a role in the Ministry not long after his time at Hogwarts. He didn’t need a job, no, but with it would come more power and paise and money. Not to mention, his father made it quite clear that the life of a socialite wouldn’t be tolerated. He found his position with the Improper use of Magic department rather well suited. He’s used the position to create ties with other powerful witches and wizards and groom ties with the Minister and any potential future Ministers as well as expanding his collection of dark artifacts.

 It has also been rather useful to serve the Dark Lord--and now the Mundus. Being a member of Voldemort’s chosen flock was a birthright of being a Malfoy as much as anything else in his life. His father had known the Dark Lord for years and as he rose to power, Lucius was an early member of the Death Eaters, taking his Dark Mark the day after his graduation. His message is one Lucius has been bred to believe his whole life. Lucius has been using his position at the Ministry to keep an extra eye on magical use--being overly harsh with any reports involving those believed to have ties to the Order, conveniently losing data on pureblood children and Death Eaters with illegal magic use, turning in false reports showing misuse of magic from those against the cause--not that this is well known outside the highest Death Eater and Mundus ranks. 

When Mundus Novus was created, there was no more natural fit for Lucius. He likely would have joined their cause even without his father being a founder, but Abraxas’s always firm hand was just another reason to tilt his head high, knowing he’s better than everyone else. It felt right, natural, comfortable. Until suddenly it was oppressing. No one saw his father’s death coming, least of all Lucius. He was just starting to get the feel of the ground beneath him at Mundus and knowing he would have his father and the Black brother to hide behind when Voldemort caught on. But now his father is dead. He didn’t even have time to decide if he’s sad about it or not. Because there’s a war and the pillars of Mundus Novus have an empty chair that’s meant to be his. But it’s so much pressure for a boy who’s only ever been told he’s not good enough by his parents. And it means doing what he’s most afraid of--taking a defiant move against the Dark Lord he’d been bred to respect and fear in equal measure. He’ll step up. He has to. There’s no other option. He just wishes he had had more time to prepare.

EXTRAS | This is not required but if you’d like to submit anything extra (Pinterest boards, mock blog, playlist, character tags, etc), feel free to share!

Enjoy this tag of Lucius related content on my old blog

A few headcanons:

Lineage -- The Malfoy family only procreates until they have their first male offspring, so as to keep the bloodline clean and the money growing rather than being divvied among squabbling children

Sexuality -- I always picture Lucius on the aromantic and asexual spectrum. He’s not a completely sex-negative ace individual, he can and does have sex, it’s just not something he’s particularly interested in--he has more important things to worry about. And he’s certainly aro because, really, Lucius Malfoy loving anyone but himself is practically laughable 

House Elves -- Lucius’s parents couldn’t be bothered to raise him. They both had more important things to do. So his raising feel to the House Elves. There was one elderly house elf, Maisel, who cared for him as a baby, would sneak him treats while he was a child, and showed him little bits of house elf magic to entertain him. She died turing his fifth year at Hogwarts, without so much as an owl from his parents. He simply returned at the end of term to find her no longer there and a young male houself (a Dob...something, Lucius didn’t bother learning the new elf’s name) tearfully telling him she had passed.

[demyrie]

Throwing Spells Together: Workplace Protection

As I was making this happen, I knew that some shy free-range (without a dedicated system of organized practice or "religion") witches out there could benefit from seeing a problem solved step by step in a witchy way that works for me.

So, problem. I travel a lot for work (medical field), to different locations, and am constantly amazed by how my experience differs with patient population. Some places are insanely busy, but the patients are sweet and understanding and I work hard and have a good time; others, it could be a slow day but the patients are aggressive and rude and want to yell at me for things out of my control (and thus stop me from doing my actual job of assisting those I CAN help, which makes me absolutely hysterical).

When I learned I would be subbing at one particular location for two weeks, my ONE THOUGHT was "oh Lord please say it's not that one".

Guess what. Yep. That one. For two weeks.

This particular location, I had been bullied by patients at every previous visit and I was filled with dread at the idea of withstanding non-stop wheedling, aggression and general disrespect for that long of a stint. It was so disheartening, I almost cried, but I thought I should take a stand in what way I could and "protect" my workspace.

Spell design: what's the root of the problem?

There's no "hey please make work fun or not terrible" spell, and an intention so unfocused won't get you anywhere. So, with @rainbowstarbird's help, I found the lynchpin to my bad experience: I just didn't want to be bullied. I wanted to claim my space inside this building, this practice, and make it clear I would not be disrespected. Anything beyond that, I could deal with.

Materials

Gems (as desired), 3 bottles and 1 candle. Invite 1 friend if available :3

My plan was to assemble a little forcefield around my workplace by placing tiny jars of stones around it, charged by intention (candle, singing)

I picked out a number of gems that represented what I wanted to invoke: obsidian and hematite and black tourmaline for grounding/protection, carnelian for strength/fire/conviction, quartz for amplification and clarity, and bloodstone for, you guessed it, more grounding, but of the earthy nurturing kind. I also stuck a dried yellow rose petal into each jar, for good intentions and general friendliness, because I wanted to retain the energy that I WAS there to help folks, if they would LET me help them.

So we assembled three identical jars (three is a good number for stability; I initially laid out 4 and my intuition went NOPE) and sat them between us. I lit a candle for power, centered myself. I kept coming back to the thing that was so distressing to me, and what I wanted to say to those folks: I don't want to deal with any of your nonsense. Don't come in here looking to pick a fight, because this is MY space.

So, grinning, I sang: fuck off, fuck off, fuckofffuckofffuckoff, I don't wanna deal with any of your shit fuck offfffff (fuckofffuckofffuckoff)

I sang it to the tune of, ironically or appropriately, "HI HO, HI HO (it's off to work we go)" and Rae joined in, laughing with me and projecting all of the righteous indignation we could muster.

Magic note: A thing I think folks tangle with more than necessary is the assumed aloofness or alienness of ceremony. While it's important to create a space and time separate from normal life in order to focus, things that are effortlessly familiar to us are also very sacred. High ceremony woos may disagree, but it works for us. We both knew the song (it's from snow white haha), we didn't have to THINK about the tune and the message was fairly simple : GO AWAY IF YOU WANT TO MAKE TROUBLE! laughter is also a very powerful energy, and gives you confidence 💕 don't be afraid to rely on images or feelings or songs that are very familiar and seemingly mundane for you. They can evoke a very powerful reaction, and too often folks get tripped up on memorizing a difficult new spell or Saying the Right Thing when the most important thing to spellwork is FEELING the right thing.

Set up!

The next day at my workplace, I tucked the three jars into the three corners of my space. I drew a line between them (with a blade of selenite, but that's just because I'm a dramatic ho and draw on crystal gridding to do my work), marking out what was MY SPACE, and kept mentally chanting "this is my space. I am deserving of respect. No shenanigans will be allowed. This is my space and you will not start shit in my space." Then (again, drawing on seemingly incongruous or mundane imagery) I imagined the corners flashing out and gridding the area like a force field in a video game. Those who aimed to make trouble would be repelled.

I renewed it every morning with the same intention, and while the location is still exhausting, there haven't been any blow ups or severe aggression since I placed it. I've met fabulous patients, had a great time, I'm more confident after taking steps to protect myself.

When I dispelled the protection grid the other day, I said thank you so much for your energy, thank you for helping me maintain the space and respect that I deserve. Now the spell bottles sit happily humming on our dining room table, still offering reassurance that we deserve space and respect. It's nice!

So, that's one of the practical ways that I woo. Feel free to ask any questions or clarifications, although I'll be late in answering them because I'm taking a mini haitus from the internet for creative reasons!

Happy Ostara to you and yours! May the coming days be filled with more and more love as the light arrives 🌻

[dfroza]

Today’s reading from the ancient book of Proverbs and book of Psalms

for july 10 of 2021 with Proverbs 10 and Psalm 10, accompanied by Psalm 21 for the 21st day of Summer and Psalm 41 for day 191 of the year (now with the consummate book of 150 Psalms in its 2nd revolution this year)

[Proverbs 10]

[Wisdom for Today]

The wisdom of Solomon:

When wisdom comes to a son,

joy comes to a father.

When a son turns from wisdom,

a mother grieves.

Gaining wealth through dishonesty is no gain at all.

But honesty brings you a lasting happiness.

The Lord satisfies the longings of all his lovers,

but he withholds from the wicked what their souls crave.

Slackers will know what it means to be poor,

while the hard worker becomes wealthy.

Know the importance of the season you’re in

and a wise son you will be.

But what a waste when an incompetent son

sleeps through his day of opportunity!

The lover of God is enriched beyond belief,

but the evil man only curses his luck.

The reputation of the righteous

becomes a sweet memorial to him,

while the wicked life only leaves a rotten stench.

The heart of the wise will easily accept instruction.

But those who do all the talking

are too busy to listen and learn.

They’ll just keep stumbling ahead

into the mess they created.

The one who walks in integrity

will experience a fearless confidence in life,

but the one who is devious

will eventually be exposed.

The troublemaker always has a clever plan

and won’t look you in the eye,

but the one who speaks correction honestly

can be trusted to make peace.

The teachings of the lovers of God are like

living truth flowing from the fountain of life,

but the words of the wicked

hide an ulterior motive.

Hatred keeps old quarrels alive,

but love draws a veil over every insult

and finds a way to make sin disappear.

Words of wisdom flow from the one with true discernment.

But to the heartless, words of wisdom

become like rods beating their backside.

Wise men don’t divulge all that they know,

but chattering fools blurt out words

that bring them to the brink of ruin.

A rich man’s wealth becomes like a citadel of strength,

but the poverty of the poor leaves their security in shambles.

The lovers of God earn their wages for a life of righteousness,

but the wages of the wicked are squandered on a life of sin.

If you readily receive correction,

you are walking on the path to life.

But if you reject rebuke,

you’re guaranteed to go astray.

The one who hides his hatred while pretending to be your friend

is nothing but a liar.

But the one who slanders you behind your back

proves that he’s a fool, never to be trusted.

If you keep talking, it won’t be long

before you’re saying something really wrong.

Prove you’re wise from the very start—

just bite your tongue and be strong!

The teachings of the godly ones are like pure silver,

bringing words of redemption to others,

but the heart of the wicked is corrupt.

The lovers of God feed many with their teachings,

but the foolish ones starve themselves

for lack of an understanding heart.

True enrichment comes from the blessing of the Lord,

with rest and contentment in knowing

that it all comes from him.

The fool finds fun in planning to do wrong,

but the wise delight in having discernment.

The lawless are haunted by their fears

and what they dread will come upon them,

but the longings of the lovers of God will all be fulfilled.

The wicked are blown away by every stormy wind.

But when a catastrophe comes,

the lovers of God have a secure anchor.

To trust a lazy person to get a job done

will be as irritating as smoke in your eyes—

as enjoyable as a toothache!

Living in the worship and awe of God

will bring you many years of contented living.

So how could the wicked ever expect to have a long, happy life?

Lovers of God have a joyful feast of gladness,

but the ungodly see their hopes vanish right before their eyes.

The beautiful ways of God are a safe resting place

for those who have integrity.

But to those who work wickedness

the ways of God spell doom.

God’s lover can never be greatly shaken.

But the wicked will never inherit

the covenant blessings.

The teachings of the righteous are loaded with wisdom,

but the words of the evil ones are crooked and perverse.

Words that bring delight pour from the lips of the godly,

but the words of the wicked are duplicitous.

The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 10 (The Passion Translation)

[Psalm 10]

The Cry of the Oppressed

[The Lord is Concealed]

Lord, why do you seem so far away when evil is near?

Why have you hidden yourself when I need you the most?

The arrogant in their elitist pride persecute the poor and helpless.

May you pour out upon them

the very evil they’ve dreamed up against others!

How they brag and boast of their cravings, exalting the greedy.

They congratulate themselves as they despise you—

these arrogant ones, so smug and secure!

In their delusion the wicked boast, saying,

“God doesn’t care about what we do.

There’s nothing to worry about!”

So successful are they in their schemes

and prosperous in all their plans!

Your laws are far from them;

they scoff at their enemies.

They boast that neither God nor men will bring them down.

They sneer at all their enemies, saying in their hearts,

“We’ll have success in all we do

and never have to face trouble.”

Their mouths spew out cursing, lies, and threats.

Only trouble and turmoil come from all their plans.

Like beasts lurking in the shadows of the city,

they crouch silently in ambush, waiting for the innocent to pass by.

Pouncing on the poor, they catch them in their snare

to murder their prey in secret

as they plunder their helpless victims.

They crush the lowly as they fall beneath their brutal blows,

watching their victims collapse in defeat!

Then they say to themselves,

“The Lofty One is not watching while we do this.

He doesn’t even care! We can get away with it!”

[The Lord is Concerned]

Now arise, Yahweh-God! Crush them once and for all!

Don’t forget the helpless and oppressed.

How dare the wicked think they’ll reject God and escape judgment.

They say to themselves,

“God won’t hold me accountable.”

Lord, I know you see all that they’re doing,

noting their each and every deed.

You know the trouble and turmoil they’ve caused.

Now punish them thoroughly for all that they’ve done!

The poor and helpless ones trust in you, Lord,

for you are famous for being the helper of the fatherless.

I know you won’t let them down.

Break the power of the wicked and all their strong-arm tactics.

Search them out and destroy them

for the evil things they’ve done.

You, Yahweh, are King forever and ever!

All the nations will perish from your land.

Yahweh, you have heard the desires of the humble

and seen their hopes.

You will hear their cries and encourage their hearts.

The orphans and the oppressed will be terrified no longer,

for you will bring them justice, and no earth-dweller will trouble them again.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 10 (The Passion Translation)

[Psalm 21]

For the worship leader. A song of David.

The king is glad because You, O Eternal, are strong.

In light of Your salvation, he is singing Your name.

You have given him all he could wish for.

After hearing his prayer, You withheld nothing.

[pause]

True blessings You lavished upon the king;

a crown of precious gold You placed upon his head.

His prayer was to live fully. You responded with even more—

a never-ending life to enjoy.

With Your help, his fame and glory have grown;

You raise him high and cover him in majesty.

You shower him with blessings that last forever;

he finds joy in knowing Your presence and loving You.

For the king puts his trust in the Eternal,

so he will not be shaken

because of the persistent love of the Most High God.

King, your hand will reach for all your enemies;

your right hand will seize all who hate you.

When you arrive at the battle’s edge,

you will seem to them a furnace.

For the fire of the Eternal’s anger, the heat of His wrath

will burn and consume them.

You will cut off their children,

lop off the branches of their family tree.

The earth will never know them,

nor will they ever be numbered among Adam’s kin.

When they scheme against you,

when they conspire their mischief, such efforts will be in vain.

At the sight of you, they will sound the retreat;

your bows, drawn back, will aim directly at their faces.

Put Your strength, Eternal One, on display for all to see;

we will sing and make music of Your mighty power.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 21 (The Voice)

[Psalm 41]

I Need You, Lord

King David’s poetic song for the Pure and Shining One

God always blesses those who are kind to the poor and helpless.

They’re the first ones God helps

when they find themselves in any trouble.

The Lord will preserve and protect them.

They’ll be honored and esteemed

while their enemies are defeated.

When they are sick, lying upon their bed of suffering,

God will restore them.

He will raise them up again and restore them back to health.

So in my sickness I say to you,

“Lord, be my kind healer.

Heal my body and soul; heal me, God!

For I have confessed my sins to you.”

But those who hate me wish the worst for me, saying,

“When will he die and be forgotten?”

And when these “friends” come to visit me

with their pious sympathy and their hollow words

and with hypocrisy hidden in their hearts,

I can see right through it all.

For they come merely to gather gossip about me,

using all they find to mock me with malicious hearts of slander.

They are wicked whisperers who imagine the worst for me,

repeating their rumors, saying,

“He got what he deserved; it’s over for him!

The spirit of infirmity is upon him,

and he’ll never get over this illness.”

Even my ally, my friend, has turned against me.

He was one I totally trusted with my life,

sharing supper with him,

and now he shows me nothing but betrayal and treachery.

He has sold me as an enemy.

So Lord, please don’t desert me when I need you!

Give me grace and get me back on my feet

so I can triumph over them all.

Then I’ll know you’re pleased with me

when you allow me to taste victory over all my foes.

Now stand up for me and don’t let me fall,

for I’ve walked with integrity.

Keep me before your face forever.

Everyone praise the Lord God of Israel, always and forever!

For he is from eternity past

and will remain for the eternity to come.

That’s the way it will be forever.

Faithful is our King! Amen!

The Book of Psalms, Poem 41 (The Passion Translation)

[leonum-matrem-blog]

LIGHT OF THE SEVEN

     "You mutilated him?” An exasperated tone falls of the young Queen lips, a swell of simultaneous horror and anger boiling inside of her chest. Over her time in the company of the High Sparrow, both in and out of the stone cage, Margaery had done what she could for the better of safety. One part hers but only because two parts of intentions belonged to Loras. Her cherished brother with a secret of his own that they had sought to us against him; one that she had used against him. But once Margaery had the High Sparrow believing she was true and was further free from that dark cell she had only worked now to free her brother. Once he was free she would be rid herself of the old man. But this- Margaery only felt spite. “ You gave me your word.”

     The High Sparrow turned to her with a furrow in his brow; as if to be confused by the Queen’s frustrations. “And I have kept my word.” His actions that only frustrated her more as he continued in his flat tone. “Once the Queen Mother’s trial is concluded Brother Loras is free to leave.”

      “And where IS the Queen Mother?” She pressed with the anger burning through her tone. She had had all of the patience in the Realm, when everything seemed to be moving in her favor, Margaery only had to bide her time, hold the hand of her young husband. But once witness the blood of Loras fall to the floor, once hearing his pained cry, she is running out of patience. And the anger build inside of her like a whip thorns-

      “Her litter never left to Red Keep.”

      Margaery tore her attention away from the old man when the intruding voice cut through the spiting tone that she had prepared for vicious words. It was Lancel Lannister, the one who’s word first confirmed Cersei herself to custody. The High Sparrow’s expression lifted, a feign of surprise. Just as he expected.

     “It appears the Queen Mother doesn’t wish to attend her own trial-” And there was a smile on his face as his expression turned back to the Queen; yet his eyes sparked with such a guile that Margaery felt a tinge of enmity rile up her throat. She wonders if he senses it as the High Sparrow then turns back to Lancel to speak once again. ”Go to the Red Keep and show her the way.” and with his dismissal Lancel seemed all the eager to show Cersei the way. He’d been waiting for this hasn’t he? This was blood lust all on it’s own, wasn’t it? No, of course it was. it always has been. The smile that the old man gave Margaery once again only confirmed such thoughts.

      And thus she was forced to wait. And wait she does. With a quiet sigh she waits taking her place back where the Queen stood in place of this trial. At the very top of the others sitting awaiting to lay judgment on whatever remnants of Cersei were expected to be dragged back, she stood before the gods and the High Sparrow himself. But as moment after moment edged on she began to feel an unrest, an unease nipping at the corners of her minds. It was only until she heard low murmurs that she had realized that she was not the only one who felt the unrest hammering into her bones. She begins to turn to every column of souls standing in order and sees how they shift, how the talk, and look to each other.

         She didn’t like this. She didn’t like this at all.

     Fingers begin to wring among themselves to show the inner discourse as her attention came full circle before eyes settle upon Loras himself. The only silent soul in the entire realm as his eyes remained cast down; what was he thinking? She wondered.briefly. He was her brother, her confidant, and most trusted ally. But the sadness in downcast eyes tore her heart in two. Did he feel this tension too? She mused, and for a moment she saw his smiling face and for a moment they were back in Highgarden again with their other siblings. But she couldn’t think about that, not now. It pained her, but Margaery tore herself from her thoughts with the downcast of her eyes before attention returns to the building tension around them. Yes. Even the judges themselves were uneasy.

        And it was then it dawned on her. As if so many doors opened inside of her mind that she was almost blinded by her own realization. Over her time here she had become familiar with the force that was Cersei Lannister. She knows that she is a feared force for a reason all on it’s own; mastered the maneuvers of court into an art form with experience. And above everything she was a mother and above all else her children would be priority. Very suddenly she is thinking of her own grandmother and the very bold forefront of the family itself and the things she would do in the name of Tyrell. And as such a thought would usually be warming it only sparked fear in this moment.

       The Queen is quick to turn thoughts to actions when her next movements took her back to the High Sparrow’s side, as the man awaited in all of his victorious glory, Margaery only hoped that he would listen. He has too. “There is something wrong.” 

      “Ah-” He scoffed at her- that smile of his turning to her now. “You have nothing to fear, Your Grace. The trial will begin shortly.”

      “Cersei is not here.” Another press. Did he truly think that she was concerned for herself? That she feared that the trial would backfire on her? That is how it felt with the cast of his eyes upon her and the flick of his attention away once again. He has to listen. “Tommen is not here.” A harder push on her tone to emphasize how Cersei’s own son was not here. A mother would never let her child near danger, can he not sense this? “Why do you think they are not here?”

       “if the accused is not here she will be tried regardless.” He turned now in some attempt to silence the Queen; he held up his hands and stepped back as if to dismiss her before her stepped away. “We cannot escape the justice of the Gods-”

       “Forget about the bloody gods and listen to what I am telling you!” And thus Margaery would follow him with a tone to strike down that self righteous piety so he would bloody well listen to what she is trying to say. “Cersei understand the consequences of her absence and she is absent anyway.” A lashing tone to her words as the Tyrell quickly spelled it out for the old man in front of her. “The trial can wait. We all need to leave.”

      It only earned her a scoff from him and before long he simply gave her a disproving shake of his head..

     She shook her head and felt her steps begin to retreat backward. An aversion of her gaze to the very doors of the Sept of Baelor moments before she realized the eye of every person in the area were on her. The Queen. It was then she felt her chest swell again as her chin lifts to acknowledge every single one of them. “We all need to leave NOW!”

     When she was met with confusion, heads turning left and right between her and the High Sparrow. Margaery was finished, done with this charade, as she only collected the soft scarf of silk into her palm and made her way back to her brother. “Loras.” And it was now she slipped her fingers beneath his chin to lift his gaze up. And it was when their eyes met she saw such a distance in him she hadn’t seen visible since the day Renly died.  I’m here- I’m here for you my dear brother. She thought, feeling her heart twist with the thought. He was only a remnant left of his former self; a shadow. “Stay with me.” And so she pulled him to her side with a gentle hand. An embrace to show him that no one would hurt him again, not while she was here.

     She was finished; she would get him out of here no matter what they said. No matter what HE said.

     Within the chaotic murmuring and sudden disarray of the throng around them she hadn’t noticed when the line of Sparrows barricaded their way to the doors themselves. Hadn’t seen them form, or perhaps she did only expected them to move, until she was met with an unmovable form. “Let me through!” But they would not budge despite her throwing herself against their force. A frustrated sound leaves her with the turn of her attention toward the man again.

     She had to think. She had to think fast. Her eyes turned over against she pulled her brother to her side even closer. But this time she found herself counting heads. The sparrows, the people, her brother, the High Sparrow. And by court wit or instincts of survival she realized that there were more commoners than the Sparrows themselves.

      Margaery is quick to act.

     Quick steps are taken with words shouted at the top of her lungs.

     “I am your Queen-!” She turned to all of those heads around her, all the lords, ladies, commoners, and even the stray courtesan or two. She looked to them all. "And As your Queen I have never asked you for anything.” If all of her days helping them, feeding them, and lingering amongst them would account for anything. Please let it be this. “But I ask only this of you-!”

     “Your Grace-”

     She heard the High Sparrow start, but she ignored him with the single jab of her index finger toward the line of sparrows both here and at the top of the stairs. “Break down these doors and live with me!” She turns her hand to the man at her back. “Or die with them-!”

     “Your Grace-’ He started again. But Margaery only gave him a single look of disdain before she took Loras’s hand in her own and began to move through the bodies standing around them now.

     Damn the consequences, damn any one of the Seven that would see her brother suffer this day. He had suffered enough. “Now move-!” Her shout came on the approach upon the line of men again; but now it was accompanied by the swell of fury raging inside of her chest as she threw herself against their baring. And she felt determined when she saw a flinch within the eye of one of the men. But this time she felt a push behind her, and aim forward that lifted her higher. Closer. Again she threw herself against them, again, and finally she pushed. But their chain did not break.

     Only this time it did;

     And she had his hand still as she realized that their feet were trekking those steps up, climbing, “Stay with me.” She whispered under her breath, a prayer for Loras. A focus set so purely on getting him outside that there is a vague awareness of the clambering hands and feet around her. Only is aware of the push, the rush, the need to finally get him finally to safety. “Stay with me.” She whispered as the light of the sun blinded them with the sudden crash of the door opening before her very eyes.

     The heat of the sun kisses her skin in heat that opposed the cool air within the Sept. But there is only the relief of such an escape as she pulled Loras to the steps. Only this time he seemed to regain part of long lost vigor; where she thought she led him. His feet began to pick up; his speed now tugging her down those steps. Voices drowned out by the sound of the screeching and shouts of the mob at her back. There is a glance thrown backward and it was now she realized just how many people had helped, had pushed forward, numbers now bleeding through the doors down to match their own distance. But who were they running from now? Cersei? Or the High Sparrow?

      If it weren’t for Loras ahead of her the long growl rumbling at their feet would have gave her pause; but her feet kept going. Moving down push off those steps in their haste to get out, to get as far away from this damned Sept for a long while. She almost forget the sound, almost didn’t notice the sharp tremble beneath their feet. Until a deafening ROAR and the crushing crumble of stone against stone resounded through her very bones. Stay with me. She repeated; eyes on Loras as his head was down, forward, running. Stay with me. She felt heat, she felt dirt, she saw flying pieces of stone, felt pieces hit her flesh, crush other people, she heard screams. So much screaming.

      She wanted to cover her ears from the ruin around her, it hurt, but the sight of flying massive structures flying aloft and-  A BELL!!!

      Hand tightens on Loras with a scream on her tongue with the summon of all the strength she carried inside of her, everything of who she was, everything part of herself she carried she used to pull him to her.

     Loras’s weight steps forward and there is a spike of fear when she feels her own weight shift forward before she tugs him back into her a moment before the metal clang of the bell came crashing into the ground in front of them crushing the stone beneath it. 

      Stay with me. 

      Their hands never part as she tugs him back into their forward direction. No time to take in such a shock, on time, they must keep moving. The must keep moving. They must survive.

[acromantulla]

Neville Longbottom x Reader: Flower Child

AN: The request was for any kind of protective interaction between a character and the reader, so I thought why not include my boy Neville. I’m so sorry about my lack of posting but here’s something to read for now!

Warnings: Bullying tw

Requested by: @rtpdlx98

Hogwarts in the spring seemed more magical than ever. The grass sprung up from being covered with snow, and gave the atmosphere a greener, softer glow. The sun was rising earlier, and the weather – while occasionally blustery with wind and April rain – was behaving itself as well. Even the Whomping Willow seemed to be in spirits, with lush green leaves sprouting from the previously bare branches, as well as paper-thin pink petals that would shower over the ground. Y/N Y/L/N liked to study outside during the balmy days of spring. She would bring a faded sheet with her bag of books, and sprawl out on the grass, enjoying how the breeze carried dandelion buds, the sun tickled her skin with warmth, and the wildflowers gave off a delicate perfume. Spring was heavenly to Y/N.

Whenever he would go looking for Y/N, Neville could usually find her flattened in the brush during this time of year. He admired the way she was immersed in the flowers like she belonged with them, her cute, button nose hovering above a book, quill in one hand, dripping ink on her blanket. Neville was enamored with Y/N, completely wild for her. He would watch her from afar, noticing all of her quirks and how truly unique she was. Y/N dazzled and impressed most everyone she met, but there were still few that could be unnecessarily cruel to her because of her differences. She always looked at the world in a way that other didn’t, and that was intimidating to those who picked on her.

Sonja Margaretha, a self-righteous Hufflepuff, heavily enjoyed poking Y/N’s buttons. When Y/N would pull out her homework, Sonja would hex it to make spelling errors. If Y/N came strolling into the dining hall, Sonja would be sure to take all of the butter for the biscuits. Minor inconveniences that were just enough to put a dent in Y/N’s day. Neville despised it. He hated seeing someone toy with Y/N as if she was too frail to fight back. She was more than capable, but smart enough to choose her battles. She didn’t care too heavily about the small details.

Neville was certain she was jealous of Y/N’s virtues.

Y/N’s legs teetered back and forth in the air as she laid on her stomach and scratched down a study guide. Someone had taken her shoes that morning, so her bare feet dangled in the sunshine. Neville swallowed hard, and figured that this was as good of a moment as ever to talk to her. Summoning his courage, he started down the dirt path.

“H-Hey.” Neville said, calling out as he was a few feet behind her and not wanting to startle her. “Do you mind if I join you?”

Y/N peered around her shoulder, scanning Neville from the feet up. Upon apparent recognition, she smiled and nodded with enthusiasm. He stepped beside her and sat with crossed legs, feeling very uncomfortable but nonetheless determined.

“Whatcha up to?” He inquired, looking over her shoulder. Ink was splotched all over her hands, but a fresh set of drawings laid underneath her palms.

“I like to draw when I get burned out with studying for exams.” She replied, with a kind smile.

Neville was unsure if the warmth he felt in his chest came from the sunshine or her presence.

“Oh that’s cool!” He responded enthusiastically. “I like to draw too! But mostly it’s just sketches of plants and things, y’know, for reference.”

Y/N sat up and stretched, her painted toes spreading. She turned to face Neville, propping her face up with her elbow, and gave him a look.

“You’re quite the herbologist, aren’t you?” She said.

“Y-yes, I mean- herbology is really fascinating. I’m not claiming to be a prodigy or anything.” Neville found the heat to be suffocating all of a sudden.

“Oh come now.” Y/N replied with a playful push. “I know how hard you work. You’re very knowledgeable – you should bask in that.”

Neville gave a sideways grin, and murmured thanks. The breeze trickled through the grounds, brushing over their shoulders and through their hair. The sunshine was warm and the air smelled clean – like a new start. Neville felt as though he’d be sick with sweetness, sitting next to the most beautiful girl that he had ever laid eyes on. His shoulders were back. His chin raised to the sky. She made him feel confident, like no matter what he said, the answer was right.

As they conversed, he began to make her laugh and with every chuckle, he felt like pressing his lips on hers. He wanted to grasp her hand, and hold her tightly so that no one could hurt her. He took in every vision of her - the way the breeze made her hair move like kelp in the sea current, her gemstone eyes glittering with joy, he was totally captivated. However, Neville was rudely broken from his moment by a cloud of dust blowing through the air.

“Hey Y/L/N, stop flirting with the dunce and let me copy off of your homework.” Sonja had no qualms about being rude to others, especially Y/N.

Wiping the dirt from her eyes, Y/N turned around. Eyebrows set low on her face, she raised a finger and opened her mouth to call out Sonja’s shenanigans but before she could make a sound someone else was speaking.

“Don’t you realize how horribly rude you’re being to Y/N?” Neville snapped. Sonja’s face was priceless. She had never been confronted like this before.

Y/N whipped around to see Neville standing in front of her, his chest puffed out and face stern. Sonja said nothing.

“She doesn’t owe you anything. All day every day you push her around and she’s just too nice to take real action. She still thinks you’re a good person. Y/N doesn’t need to hand over her homework, she doesn’t need to take your bullshit any longer!”

Sonja’s jaw dropped, and a red hue flashed over her face. Neville stopped talking and crossed his arms over his chest, pleased with himself.

“I- I am sorry, Y/N. I have been unfair to you.” She said, before stalking off, face still contorted in confusion.

Y/N was equally as speechless. Neville plopped down next to her, and she gawked at him as if she had never met him in her life. Her heart fluttered, and she felt a warm glow rise to her cheeks.

“You really shouldn’t have to take that.” Neville said quietly. “You’re nothing but nice to everyone you meet. It’s… refreshing. Some people need that kind of kindness in their lives.”

After a long period of feeling her vision boring through his body, Neville turned around to find a wide-eyed and slightly teary Y/N. Neville immediately pinched his eyebrows with worry and began to apologize for setting her off when Y/N lunged forward and silenced him with a kiss. Initially confused, he felt fireworks explode inside of him, making every limb of his body numb. Y/N pulled back tentatively.

“No one has ever done that for me before.” She said softly, eyes still on his lips. “Thank you.”

“I think we’re even now.” Neville replied, breathlessly. “D-Do you want to go on a date sometime?”

Y/N chuckled, reclining onto the blanket and motioning for Neville to join her.

“I would love that.” She said.

The two laid in silence, staring lovingly into each other’s eyes, and didn’t move until the sun retired into the night.

[chasingxprongs]

A small (I say small) Jily drabble for @ofmanyworlds, mainly from James’ POV, based on Perfect, by Ed Sheeran. If you haven’t listened to that song, you need to, but please enjoy if you so choose to have a read. 

I found a love for me Darling, just dive right in and follow my lead

James Potter had never been afraid of Hogwarts. Never worried about making friends, about if people would like him, if he’d fit in. Because he knew he would. Simple as that really. He already knew he could fly. Already knew he’d have no issue learning spells. Why would he? His dad was the best wizard in the whole world and his mum the best witch, it just made sense that he would be too.

He didn’t expect to be surprised at Hogwarts. He’d spent years listening with an awestruck expression has his dad told stories of Gryffindor pride. Of red and gold, of lions and bravery. He’d listened as his dad explained Gryffindor loyalty and being there for your mates no matter what.

So James Potter knew he was going to be popular at Hogwarts.

He knew he was going to be Gryffindor.

What he didn’t know. What he hadn’t expected. Was to fall head over heels in love with a red headed muggle born who sat next to him at the welcome feast.

At eleven, in all his eleven-year-old, wise glory. He was one hundred percent positive that Lily Evans was going to love him the way he so obviously loved her.

“I’m James.” His hand shook with hers, hazel eyes meeting a green so bright he was sure it must be some kind of magic.

“Lily Evans.” Came the response and James thought even her voice was pretty.

“That’ll be Potter one day.” His voice was devoid of the surety that would come in a few years. The bravado and the confidence of a bloke who knew he was attractive to women. Right now his voice held all the optimism of an eleven-year-old who was sure he’d just fallen in love.

“What’s that supposed to mean?’ She was affronted, her eyes flashing in a way that James felt was still pretty. And he didn’t understand. Was confused by her. This wasn’t what happened when his dad charmed his mum. This wasn’t how girls had ever responded to his dad and he was just like his dad. He was going to be exactly like him.

“I uh—” He broke off, confused and out of sorts. Out of words for once. He chose instead to point at the boy currently making his way over to the sorting hat. “Ha! Look at that Greasy Git…bet he’s gonna be a snake.”

If he’d been unsure of her before, he definitely was now. As she turned to him, green eyes flashing with an intense anger unlike anything James had ever experienced. Almost like she hated him, in that moment. Except, James knew that couldn’t be true. Nobody hated him. That wasn’t how it worked. He was a Gryffindor!

“That Greasy Git, is my best friend.” Came the retort, as Lily made to stand and James could only stare at her in horror. “…and he’s a much better friend than you could ever be. He doesn’t insult people before he’s even met them properly for one.”

With that she was moving, across the table, not sparing him another look as she applauded for her friend. James thought maybe his heart was broken there and then. Or it would have been, if he wasn’t eleven and easily distracted. As Sirius Black was joining the table and James knew with all his eleven-year-old wisdom, that they were going to be best mates.

Who needed girls anyway?

Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me

“Oi Evans!” James’ voice rang through the hallway, Sirius’ laugh echoing beside him as he chased after the red headed witch who was steadfastly ignoring him.

“Are you gonna make me beg?” He sighed heavily, shooting a wink to Sirius, before he turned to the rapidly gathering crowd of snickering students. “Ladies and Gentleman, you’re about to bear witness to the broken heart of James Potter…”

“A weekly occurrence!” Sirius chimed in, and James happily gave him the finger. 

“He’s not wrong in his harsh assessment of my life.” James wiped a none existent tear from his eye, turning once more to Lily. Lily who wasn’t laughing. Lily who was standing, white faced and furious, knuckles white where she was clutching her books to her chest.

“Stop it.” Her voice was a harsh whisper, a hiss filling the corridor despite its lack of volume and James had to stop himself from wincing at the hatred inside it. “If you really think embarrassing me in public and pressuring me to go out with you is the way to go about it, then I look forward to hearing about your many divorces!”

She turned then, footsteps echoing down the corridor. Kids parting to let her pass, as though her fury was contagious. As though it was going to jump from her skin and infect anyone who passed. But James knew that wasn’t true. He knew that anger was reserved solely for him and for some reason, this time he didn’t enjoy it.

He should have finished his performance. Should have continued with Sirius to act out the broken heart of James Potter. Make his constant rejection into a joke that he controlled. Because it was easier that way. It made more bloody sense to have people wonder if he was serious, if this was actually a crush, or just a prank.

A prank at the expense of Lily.

He didn’t bloody want that. But he didn’t particularly want to be constantly bloody rejected either.

“Evans wait!” He was running after her, not bothering to shoot a grin or a wink at those he passed. Not bothering to hide the fact that this was no longer a joke. That she was pissed off and that he fucking hated that. Wanted to fix it. “Lily—just wait a bloody minute alright?”

She stopped. Not bothering to turn towards him as forced himself to come to an unexpected stop.

“I uh—I’m sorry—for embarrassing you.” The words felt foreign on his tongue, weird and stilted. He didn’t generally apologise, not when you could just turn something into a laugh instead. “…I didn’t think alright?”

“You never do.” She turned then, a little more colour on her cheeks and despite the fact she wasn’t looking at James how he wished she would. She was so fucking beautiful; it still took his breath away. “You never think. Which completely baffles me considering you supposedly have a brain rattling around that enormous head of yours.”

James frowned, unsure if he was being insulted or complimented…which was the story of his life with Lily Evans. But she didn’t give him chance to answer, seemingly on a role now she’d begun.

“Your band of merry men might find you amusing, or your penchant for humiliation to be charming…but I do not. Will not.” She shook her head. “Be more than that. Or would you prefer to be an arrogant toe rag for the rest of your life?”

He was more than that. Knew he was more than that. Could be more than that. She’d put him in a box he didn’t want to be in. Yet maybe he’d closed the bloody lid on that box. Maybe he’d locked himself in there and she was giving him a way out. He didn’t know, he was no fucking good at metaphors, but it seemed to be working for him.

“…so you wanna go study for Charms?” His olive branch was there, held out with a grin and a subtle wink. An invitation. A sacrifice. To be him. Alone. No performance. To do what she liked to do.

She paused, as though considering and James held his breath. 

“I’m going to study. If you happen to be in the library also, then I suppose I can’t stop you from sitting at the same table.” Her reply was succinct. Cold even. But James could see through it, could see the smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. Could see the subtle flick of hair as she turned.

It was a challenge. To prove himself. To prove he was more than what she thought. And a challenge he was ready to fucking win.

“So Evans, you don’t fancy a quick snog in the restricted section then?” He asked cheerfully as he jogged after her.

The smack around the back of the head was fucking worth it.

“…stop talking Potter.”

I will not give you up this time But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own And in your eyes you're holding mine

“Oi…mini puff, it’s midnight…you need to get your little arse to your common room.” James yelled down the corridor, ignoring the exasperated sigh from Lily next to him as the eleven-year-old froze, weirdly trembling as he stared at the two of them.

“Hey kid…it’s not that far past curfew, we’re not the bloody Aurors…despite my fantastic badge of never ending authority.” He tried to lighten the mood, glancing at Lily in confusion before nodding to his head boy badge gleaming on his chest.

“I’m—I’m sorry—I—I was in bed but I—there was a letter…” The kid was stammering, trembling where he stood and James looked to Lily who was studying them carefully. It was new, this job. Lily had been a prefect the year before but James hadn’t. The only perk to this job was the extra time spent with Lily. Lily who was finally fucking dating him, finally letting him take her out and sneak into the kitchens for a picnic in the middle of the night.

Lily who was fun and daring. Lily who continued to shock him every day.

Lily who still hadn’t let him bloody kiss her. Never mind all the other shit he wanted to do. Preferably without clothing, but he was an easy going kind of bloke…he could make amendments to his extravagant plans.

“Jeremy, what letter did you get?” Lily was speaking softly, her head tilted to the side and James marvelled that she knew the kids name. That she was able to sound so soft and reassuring whilst still exuding that air of authority.

“Well my—my dad he—there was a mark above the house and he—my mum said he didn’t—he didn’t…” He was crying then, sobs choking the poor boy as his whole form shook with the force of them and James didn’t give Lily a second glance as he moved toward him.

“We get it kiddo…you don’t have to keep explaining.” He was pulling him into a hug before he’d considered his actions, filled with a righteous anger that this was happening, a renewed sense of protectiveness that seemed to always exist within him. “Lil? Go get Sprout won’t you?”

He didn’t give much thought to anything but the situation at hand as he heard Lily’s footsteps trail off down the corridor, arms wrapped firmly around the sobbing boy. It wasn’t awkward. Didn’t feel awkward. It couldn’t. The world was a terrifying fucking place at the minute and he didn’t have the capacity to feel awkward about comforting a young, terrified kid who had just lost his dad.

“Don’t let this break you—don’t let ‘em do that kid.” He murmured softly. “Cry, fucking cry all you want, but don’t let them take your hope alright?”

He pulled back slightly, holding the hiccupping kid by the shoulders as he met his eyes.

“They took your dad, but they don’t get to take anything else from you. You’re a Wizard and you belong here, just as much as any fucking pureblood. Don’t let them take who you are as well…d’you hear me?”

There was an answering nod, and James simply sighed and pulled him back against him, the polite cough causing him to look to the side where Lily stood, eyes brimming with tears, Professor Sprout by her side.

“Come along Jeremy…come on love, let’s get you some tea and see if we can get your mum here.” The professor was talking, Jeremy running to her, her arm around him as she led him away. But James only had eyes for Lily. 

Lily who was looking at him like she never had before. Lily who was walking towards him, trembling hands cupping his face and all he could do was stare at her. At this new side he’d never seen before. The vulnerable side. 

“…I didn’t think you’d ever prove me wrong James Potter.” She murmured softly, and James could only swallow heavily, his heart pounding in his chest. “...but you’re more, you’re more than what I thought.”

And as hazel eyes met answering green, as his arms wrapped securely around her waist. He knew that he always wanted to be the kind of bloke who would draw that look from her eyes. He wanted to be the kind of bloke who deserved everything she was fucking giving him.

He didn’t speak. Couldn’t think of words big enough. For once. Could do nothing except to duck his head, lips pressing against hers easily. As though they fit, as though they were meant to join together like this.

James wanted to kiss Lily Evans for the rest of his life.

Had every intention of it.

Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home

James was breathless, completely overwhelmed as he closed the door to headquarters behind them. They needed to find the others. Needed to have a proper mission debrief, but with the adrenaline still flowing through his body, James could focus on nothing but the amazing woman by his side.

“Bloody hell Lil, you were something else out there.” His voice was low, unable to hide his complete awe and devotion as he surveyed his girlfriend calmly hanging up her jacket.

“Did you expect anything less?” She wasn’t fazed. Voice filled with a teasing humour that James bloody loved. 

His girlfriend was something else entirely, something completely fucking unique. Just when he thought he had her figured out, just when he thought they might finally be on even footing. She’d surprise him. She’d send him spiralling down a path of love and devotion he couldn’t escape from.

He was a goner for Lily Evans. Always had been.

He couldn’t focus on anything but her, couldn’t control it as he backed her up against the door. Eyes on her he watched carefully, watched as her eyes darkened with lust, a small smirk curving into the corners of her beautiful lips.

“Marry me.” His voice was muffled, buried in the skin of her neck, pressing hot open mouthed kisses against the familiar expanse. He wasn’t paying attention, hands either side of her, bracketing her in. Where he wanted her. But best of all, where she wanted to be.

At least she usually wanted to be here. Usually liked it when he shoved her up against the wall. Usually slipped her hands into his back pocket, pressed him closer in a crude imitation of what they both really wanted to be doing.

But not now. Now she was pushing at his chest, her words stern.

“James Potter. Stop.” He pulled back, eyes confused as he stared at her and he could only wait for her to explain. “You are not going to propose to me like this. I expect to be proposed to properly.”

He couldn’t help the laugh that escaped at her words, hazel eyes alight with mirth as he felt the box he’d been carrying around for weeks in his pocket. He finally had one up on her, finally had a way to show his love that she didn’t expect.

“Bloody hell Lil, y’know you’re not supposed to direct your own proposal don’t you?” He shook his head in mock disapproval as he sunk to his knees, holding a hand up to still her as she opened her mouth. “It’s not your turn to talk yet…lemme get it out before you start dishing out instructions yeah?” He reached into his pocket, pulling out the box, a familiar cheeky grin spreading over his face as he did. “Had it for weeks…I was waiting for the right time to ask y’know? But I uh—I don’t reckon there’s ever gonna be a more perfect time, cause whenever it happens…that’s gonna be the perfect time y’know?”

“James…” Her voice was breathless, unsure and nervous in a way he fucking loved. Because it meant she trusted him with that side of her. Trusted him to see her vulnerabilities.

“Nah…this is my time to talk now alright? Lemme ask the question before you answer…follow the rules Evans.”  He winked, shaking hands opening the box as he held it up to her. His mother’s ring nestled comfortably inside. 

He took a breath, stealing himself to sum up some words. The right words. Words they’d remember. But he didn’t have any. He didn’t have words big enough to encompass everything he felt for Lily Evans. Everything they were and everything they were going to become.

Nobody had words for that.

“Lil…I’m not asking you cause we’re at war. I’m not gonna sit here—well kneel here—and say that I wanna marry you now cause we might not get much more of a forever. Cause that’d be a cop out.” He shrugged. “I wanna marry you cause you’re a bloody nightmare Lil. Cause you’re stubborn and proud and I can’t fucking breathe as soon as you walk into a room. I don’t wanna marry you because of the war Lil…I wanna marry you in spite of it.”

His voice was thick with emotion as he met her eyes, those beautiful fucking eyes that were bright with unshed tears. And he didn’t have the nerve to try and figure out if that was good or bad.

“You’re it for me Lil…this love, this is it for me.” He shrugged, as though it were that simple. Because it was. Because to him, it was fact. 

“I know you don’t put much stock in soul-mates and all that shit and neither do I—almost failed bloody divination didn’t I?” He shook his head. “But I reckon I believe in one great love in your life, and you’re it…every stubborn fucking inch of you. I wanna spend the rest of my life making you slowly learn to hate me.” He joked, before shaking his head. “Nah…but I wanna get old with you. As old as we get…as long as we’ve got.”

He winked. “…so what do you say Evans? Finally, wanna become a Potter?”

I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets To carry love, to carry children of our own

“What do you mean she’s not been bloody hexed?!” James’ voice echoed in the small room at St Mungo’s, his footsteps following not far behind as he paced furiously. “Of course she is—she passed out! She wouldn’t faint for no bloody reason!”

“Mr Potter…we found no trace of dark magic in the diagnostics we ran and –“

“Then run them again!” The poor healer was trying his best. James knew that. He knew that even as he froze, turning his furious, panicked gaze on the flustered man in question. He knew his anger was directed at the wrong people. Knew that they were doing a job and they were doing it well.

He knew they were doing their best. But this was his wife. And their best wasn’t good enough when it concerned her.

“Mr Potter—”The healer began again, and James couldn’t even remember his bloody name, so he simply held up a hand instead.

“No. Run it again. And if you can’t bloody do it, then find me someone who can.”

He hated it here. In the hospital. The familiar robes, the smell, bringing back memories of his dying parents. It hadn’t been very long ago. Not long enough to be back here. Never long enough to be back here fretting about the person who got him through it. His Lily flower, his rock. The woman who had sat with him outside their hospital rooms. The woman who had told him he was allowed to cry. The woman who had promised his mum she’d take care of him, that he’d never be alone. That had promised him too.

His everything.

“James…” She was speaking from the bed, her voice unsure, fragile in a way it never was. Her eyes red rimmed from where she’d evidently been crying before he’d got her. He couldn’t fucking stand it. Couldn’t cope with the fact she’d been alone and scared in this room and he’d been at the fucking pub with his mates.

“Lil…it’s fine. We’re gonna figure this out alright?” He approached her then, perching on the edge of the bed as he took her hand. “He’s gonna run the tests again—and if it doesn’t work—then I’ll fucking pay someone else to. It’s gonna be fine, you’re gonna be fine…I’ve got you.”

His words weren’t reassuring her, those captivating eyes brimming with tears once more and James didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know how to reassure her, felt as though he was missing a giant piece of the puzzle.

“James—you’re not listening.” Her voice was thick with emotion, a lone tear escaping but she didn’t take her hand from his. Didn’t scold him any further, and James knew that was testament to how scared she was feeling. “They can’t find any trace of a hex because I haven’t been hexed—I—“

She broke off, head nodding towards her stomach, the tears falling thick and fast and James could only stare at her. Could only clutch her hand that much tighter as his heart drummed violently in his chest.

“I’m pregnant James…we—we’re having a baby…”

It should have been joyous. It should have been a time to be excited. But James understood her tears, understood what this meant, what it was. They were young. Too young anyway. Too young for people living a normal, happy life.

But they weren’t those people. They were people fighting a war. A violent, bloody war. A war where people died everyday, where they lost friends and family faster than they gained them. A war they had glamorised. A war where they didn’t feel like brave Gryffindors anymore, because the reality of it, the gritty, dangerous reality wasn’t the brave lions marching into battles they’d all imagined in school.

“Say something…James—I know this isn’t ideal…” Her words broke his heart, the fragility in her voice, in the way her fingers were laced with his. Knuckles white as she held on for dear life. 

It killed him.

His brave Lily. His stubborn, perfect Lily, was terrified because they were going to have a baby. Because they hadn’t been careful. Terrified of telling him, of his reaction and he couldn’t bring himself to let her down. Knew that right now was his turn. His turn to be strong for her, his turn to swallow the fear and get ready to be the husband and father he needed to be.

The one his parents taught him to be.

“It isn’t ideal…” He spoke carefully, extracting his hand from hers before he gently slid it under the white sheets covering her body, resting protectively against her abdomen. “But I love you and you love me—and we’re gonna love our baby Lil. We’re gonna love them and we’re gonna keep them safe.”

His own eyes were brimming with tears as he leant down to press a kiss against her lips, soft and loving as he whispered against them.

“We’ve got this Lily flower…”

When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight

James grinned as he threw Harry into the air once more, the resulting babyish giggle making his heart fucking melt once again. He was turning into a right sap, embarrassing really, how much he loved this tiny human being. How he could spend hours just watching him, listening to him, wondering how he’d managed to get so lucky. How he’d managed to create this baby that needed him.

“…you’re going to make him sick if you carry on.” He turned at the familiar voice, the fond amusement betraying her stern words as his eyes caught sight of his wife in the living room doorway. “I’m certainly not going to be the one getting up with him when he’s sick in the night.”

James snorted, tossing Harry into the air once more, as he shook his head. “Did you hear that Squirt? Your mum doesn’t wanna wake up for you…don’t worry kiddo, I’ll make sure to report this neglect.”

He paused, pressing a kiss to the chubby cheeks before placing him on the ground as he shot a wink towards his wife. “…you’re the one who was force feeding him chocolate frogs Lil.” He shrugged. “Reckon I need to get myself some legal representation at the blame placing taking place in this marriage.”

“Two chocolate frogs James…and I wouldn’t exactly call it force feeding.” She shook her head, arms crossing over her chest and James couldn’t help how his eyes lingered on her form.

But fuck...she was beautiful.

Even now. Exhausted, her face free from makeup, hair loose around her face, the evidence of sticky little boy fingers amongst the familiar fiery strands. She looked even more beautiful than she ever had. There was a light in her eyes, a glow he couldn’t explain and didn’t want to. Explaining it would mean she was capable of being described, that she was someone who fit the mould that words would push her into.

She didn’t.

She didn’t fit any mould. She was one of kind. Made for James as he was made for her. She was bloody perfect and that’s about the only word he’d agree to be used to describe her.

“Don’t pout Lil…” He murmured, advancing on her slowly, a teasing predatory gleam in his eyes. “Besides the fact it’s technically a holiday and frankly bloody illegal to be pouting…” He paused, arms wrapping around her waist. “…besides all of that, you know what it does to me.”

He pulled her towards him, her body flush against his own. A perfect fit, moulding against him like the missing puzzle piece fate had been so kind to provide them with. His breath was hot against her lips as he dipped his head, kissing her easily. Slow and deep. Familiar. As though they had all the time in the world, years to do this. Forever really. However long forever was going to be.

James could kiss her forever, could continue to lose himself in the feel of their lips moving together, her arms around his neck, nimble fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. He could spend forever memorising her taste, drinking her in, because it would never be enough. There would never be enough of her. He would never be done.

Unfortunately, little hands were finding their way to the hem of his trousers, an indignant squeal indicating that Harry, like his dad, didn’t appreciate not being the centre of attention. So he laughed, pulling back with one final press of their lips, glancing from the two of them fondly.

“…Happy Halloween Lily Flower.”

[pomegranate-salad]

Seeds of Thought : Wicdiv #26

Is it just me or we waited for this issue longer than the previous one ? Anyway, my tutorials haven’t started yet but that means professors are free to add as many lectures as they want. I was in class from 10 am to 9 pm yesterday and the day before with no interruption. Clearly my college’s motto is “we were so busy wondering if we could, we never stopped to wonder if the students could”. So that’s why this post took me a bit longer to publish. I need to start monetizing this gig somehow.

As usual, thoughts and opinion on the issue under the cut, spoilers included. Enjoy.

 ROLL UP THE PARTITION, PLEASE

 So far, Imperial Phase (part one) is a strange, strange arc. It feels both as the most Wicdiv thing Wicdiv has ever done, and as something from another series entirely. If Rising action was “an ideal jumping-on point”, Imperial Phase is an ideal breaking-up point. As the ellipsis that separated Rising Action from Imperial Phase portended, this is the arc before which the cards have been reshuffled, and all we’ve learned so far about the story and its characters comes into question again. And in that context, one of the most noticeable changes from previous arcs is the way it handles reveals. Aside from big twists and cliffhangers, Wicdiv has already been very careful to weave its more character-oriented reveals into the narrative flow, to make conversation between its characters as natural as possible when it came to what they were willing to say about themselves. Think of the way we learn Cass is trans, that Ammy lost her father… Giving the audience information always came second to the character’s own communication pattern, which more often than not only gave us snippets of what we wanted to know.

Meanwhile, Imperial Phase’s character reveals feel a lot more heavy-handed, calling a lot more attention to themselves. From literal interviews of the gods to them detailing their sexual orientation to each other, information just seems to fly left and right compared to how long some characters have remained a mystery until then. And this issue might be the most flagrant example yet. Over its course, we learn a bunch of things, some we already kind of knew (like Dio’s asexuality), some more unexpected (like Cass’ polyamorous lesbian relationship), and others long awaited (like Baal’s real name, which by the way confused the hell out of me at first because in French “Valentine” is a girl’s name). But when so many reveals are able to take us aback, just as the gods finally get an opportunity to spend more time with each other, a question starts to form : How well do we know these people ? And more importantly to the story, how well do they know each other ?

 It’s been over a year since the gods have started to interact, and something like two since Wicdiv has started, and yet at a point in which most series’ cast would already form a functioning crew, the Pantheon can’t make it past one simple reunion without breaking apart. The simplest dialogue seems to bring new, surprising information to both sides, and even Baal and Persephone who have been dating for six months apparently know jack shit about each other.

But if the reveals feel so oppressing in this arc, this might be because this is the first one in which the characters are actually forced to face them too. Looking back, the Pantheon has never known this kind of unity ; there’s always been some sort of division preventing any large-scale interaction. First there were characters seeking the truth versus characters willing to accept the Luci cover-up, gods versus yet-to-ascend Laura and Cass, Underground versus sky gods, and of course Team Persephone versus Team Ananke. As a result, gods mostly have been too busy picking bones to actually get to know each other. We know for a fact that some gods never even met before the Rising action arc. Worse, the Pantheon has consistently lost its most aggregating members : Luci and Inanna, who by virtue of their intermediary mythological positions and sexual pursuits had formed bonds with several other gods, Tara who was uniting everybody in their distaste of her, and finally Ananke who was supporting the entire structure of the Pantheon.

 The inevitable conclusion to this rundown is that, at the time when important decisions must be made, the people in charge simply don’t know much about each other. And this reunion could only go about as well as any assigned work group. Which is to say, badly. It’s kind of amazing how this Pantheon meeting is reminiscent of a high school project and its most cliché figures. First we have Baal assuming the leader role - now complete with a tragic spiderman-ish backstory - who only makes things worse by trying to make them absolute. Then we have Cass as the smarter-than-thou kid whose good intentions get hindered by their need for validation and their bad handling of criticism. And then we have Sakhmet as the kid in the corner who’s somehow proud of not contributing in the slightest.

Of course, things are never that simple, not even in real life. But as “human” beings, and specifically teenagers, the gods react like anyone who has to get through to people they sometimes barely know : communication is just as much about ideas that it is about personas. The gods don’t just want to convince, they want to make themselves look as good as possible in the eyes of their peers. This comes back to something I’ve talked about numerous times before : between the gods and their social self, there is a gap formed by how much they are willing to “be themselves” in the presence of others. We’re at a point in the story in which each god’s persona has been enforced on their peers and they must now carefully navigate to maintain this image and use it in the best way to convince. Their persona is as much a tool to shine as it is a straightjacket restraining their ability to reach out. And when twelve people are playing this game simultaneously, the most innocuous decision gets lost amidst the bid for the spotlight.

 Let’s take a moment to seize just how bullshit this whole voting plotpoint is : it rests on both a false premise, that any majority decision besides anarchy can be enforced, and a false dilemma between fighting and studying. The people who want to fight and those who want to study want the exact same thing, only in different capacities, and the people who want anarchy weren’t going to help in the first place. I feel confident in affirming that any voting outcome would have basically had the same result : people willing to help helping in the capacity they’re most suited for, while the remaining gods are sitting on their ass. So how did it come to a vote in the first place ? First, you have Baal and Cass vying for the Most Righteous trophy, which prompts Persephone to push towards the solution that will most restrict everyone’s responsibility in the decision (I’ll come back to that in a moment). Sakhmet lets them know she’s not interested in either choice, which would have probably remained an incident remark if not for Cass and Baal catching the soft ball and blowing it out of proportion. And here we are. Out of a simple discussion, they’re made a house divided. Somewhere along the lines, the reunion stopped being about what was right and became about who was right.

 Graphic analysis is not my specialty, but I find this whole theme to be reflected particularly well in the nine grid panel structure. There’s the obvious fact that most of the panels show only one god, each of them finding themselves oppressed and isolated by the delineation. But the backhand of the fact is that most of the panels do not show who the god is talking to. Even when the god is addressing a specific person, the conversation feels like a statement for the entire group. Everyone is painfully aware of the others’ eyes on them. Every panel has something of a Facebook wall to it : technically made to communicate, in reality used as a forefront for people to look at.

 There’s of course one exception, and once again I have to talk about Persephone. I find it odd that these analysis posts of mine always come back to Persephone when the story is clearly branching to other protagonists in this arc while she willingly adopts a recessed position. While in SOT#24 I talked about her lack of goal and in SOT#25 her rejection of responsibility, these themes come back in issue #26 in a more concrete and spelled-out way. If you’re an early Laura fan like me, it’s really hard to wrap your head around the journey from the girl who jumped in front of a subway to help her friend to the god who won’t even protest when some of her peers are trying to cast her aside. But as painful as this change is, it also feels justified and progressive. Of all the living protagonists, Persephone is the one who had to make the most choices, had to see the most people she cared about die, has the greatest power at her disposal, has the most blood on her hands. Not only that, she’s arguably the closest to an aggregating character we have left after Ananke’s death : she’s met all the gods quite early, has developed bonds with almost all of them, and cared probably more than any of them about their wellbeing. Imperial Phase had every card in place for her to become the undisputed central character of the comic.

And yet, while her peers are fighting for the spotlight, Persephone is sinking in the shadows. During the whole nine panel grid sequence, she’s colored in a somber tone, away from the lights above the table illuminating the gods’ faces. While the gods are sitting or static, she’s the only one walking around, ignoring the empty seats. And when she has to cast a vote, for the first time in the sequence we see someone who is only looked at, silent, with the camera on their back.

And then of course she chooses anarchy. Just like she would have gone with the majority if anarchy hadn’t been on the table. Why suggest a vote when you probably have enough clout to make the discussion go your way ? Because it requires the smallest involvement of every member. Even when you are the deciding vote, your responsibility in the outcome is only as important as anyone else’s. No one can say it was her fault without accusing everyone else of not swinging the vote. Just like there is no fault in crashing your motorcycle in a wall if you come out unharmed and you can get a new one. Persephone went from being the driving force of the plot to avoiding responsibility at every turn. The gods now need to make their own mistakes, because she won’t carry anyone else.

Should this be read as selfish, as Dio says ? That’s definitely the result, but in Persephone’s case, things aren’t as simple. You don’t have your choices determine the lives of everyone you care about and come out unscathed. Persephone crumbled under the weight. Worse, every new development points to her decisions being the root of the danger they’re facing now. Despite probably being the most powerful god, she is useless against the Darkness. One after the other, she is losing every footing she has in the group. It would be so easy to slip into a more comfortable villainess role. The Pantheon is divided. The emblem of her power is the emblem of their death. Will she make the jump ? Who knows. I still want to believe Laura and her courage, Laura and her faith, is in there somewhere. But so is Laura and her pain, Laura and her desperation, Laura who’s been through so much more than any other god will for her. In an issue in which, more than ever before, the gods wanna be adored, Persephone just wanna let go.

  WHAT I THOUGHT OF THE ISSUE :

 I knew I’d eventually come across an issue for which I’d struggle to write this part. One thing you consistently get thrown at you when you’re as critical as I am is how easy it is to throw tomatoes instead of praise, and I won’t disagree : divisive and controversial make for an easy blogpost, and you can even reap edgy points in the process. But it’s never been clear to me why it’s so much easier to explain why things don’t work than explain why they do. Maybe I’m just more reluctant to pick apart a functioning piece than a broken one. “Why doesn’t it work ?” I don’t know, let’s open it and take a closer look. “Why does it work ?” Who cares, just look at it running.

But that’s where we are with issue #26, an issue kinda too boringly perfect for me to really write volumes about. I don’t mean perfect in the flawless sense, but in the sense that it’s an issue with a clear goal, some specific formalist tools, hitting the mark perfectly.

We’ve been amped up this issue as the first capital one of this arc, and it feels exactly like this : it’s neither a letdown nor a complete rupture with the previous toned-down issues. We learn just as much as we need to feel the plot progressing while more and more questions are piling up. We’re introduced to a new status quo solidly built on the old one.

I want to say this issue is adequate in every way, but somehow it feels like an insult instead of a compliment. If I have one real criticism, it’s that this issue didn’t really elicit any emotional response from me, probably because we can see where this is going from the start. Thank in part the Image synopsis for that, which was way too explicit this month and ruined the surprise a bit. Also, apart from the whole Cass reveal, there’s not much there that made me more curious about a character than I was before. By the way, am I the only person who completely missed the bdsm meaning and thought Cass’ mind had been absorbed and was being controlled by the two other Norns or something before checking Tumblr ? There may be hope for my soul still.

So yeah, despite not hitting me in the guts, which to be fair is notably hard to do (I’m heartless), this is a virtually flawless issue, and trying to poke holes in it would only be creating problems where there aren’t any. As usual, it’s in the details that Wicdiv accomplishes the most instead of the heavy-lifting, and everyone’s micro-expressions are a delight. Graphic and coloring touches are a joy to discover upon rereads, and while the dialogue feels a bit more heavy-handed than I previous arcs, it’s in perfect synchronization with the turn taken by the plot.

Is there room for this arc to improve from great to masterful ? Definitely. Am I still disappointed that we’re apparently going with the Great Dark plot ? Sure. But like I said last month, not being what you wanted doesn’t prevent something from being the best version of itself. Well, issue #26 is the best version of itself. It’s the perfect version of itself. So no, I’m not about to look under the hood for my own critical satisfaction. I just want to reread the issue over and over. It just works.

[dfroza]

to welcome what is new:

new wine into new wineskins. just as the spiritual truth of the new covenant of grace held in a reborn heart

(inside, Anew)

Today’s reading of the Scriptures from the New Testament is the 5th chapter of the book of Luke:

Picture these events:

On the banks of Gennesaret Lake, a huge crowd, Jesus in the center of it, presses in to hear His message from God. Off to the side, fishermen are washing their nets, leaving their boats unattended on the shore.

Jesus gets into one of the boats and asks its owner, Simon, to push off and anchor a short distance from the beach. Jesus sits down and teaches the people standing on the beach.

After speaking for a while, Jesus speaks to Simon.

Jesus: Move out into deeper water, and drop your nets to see what you’ll catch.

Simon (perplexed): Master, we’ve been fishing all night, and we haven’t caught even a minnow. But . . . all right, I’ll do it if You say so.

Simon then gets his fellow fishermen to help him let down their nets, and to their surprise, the water is bubbling with thrashing fish—a huge school. The strands of their nets start snapping under the weight of the catch, so the crew shouts to the other boat to come out and give them a hand. They start scooping fish out of the nets and into their boats, and before long, their boats are so full of fish they almost sink!

Simon’s fishing partners, James and John (two of Zebedee’s sons), along with the rest of the fishermen, see this incredible haul of fish. They’re all stunned, especially Simon. He comes close to Jesus and kneels in front of His knees.

Simon: I can’t take this, Lord. I’m a sinful man. You shouldn’t be around the likes of me.

Jesus: Don’t be afraid, Simon. From now on, I’ll ask you to bring Me people instead of fish.

The fishermen haul their fish-heavy boats to land, and they leave everything to follow Jesus.

Another time in a city nearby, a man covered with skin lesions comes along. As soon as he sees Jesus, he prostrates himself.

Leper: Lord, if You wish to, You can heal me of my disease.

Jesus reaches out His hand and touches the man, something no one would normally do for fear of being infected or of becoming ritually unclean.

Jesus: I want to heal you. Be cleansed!

Immediately the man is cured. Jesus tells him firmly not to tell anyone about this.

Jesus: Go, show yourself to the priest, and do what Moses commanded by making an appropriate offering to celebrate your cleansing. This will prove to everyone what has happened.

Even though Jesus said not to talk about what happened, soon every conversation was consumed by these events. The crowds swelled even larger as people went to hear Jesus preach and to be healed of their many afflictions. Jesus repeatedly left the crowds, though, stealing away into the wilderness to pray.

One day Jesus was teaching in a house, and the healing power of the Lord was with Him. Pharisees and religious scholars were sitting and listening, having come from villages all across the regions of Galilee and Judea and from the holy city of Jerusalem.

Some men came to the house, carrying a paralyzed man on his bed pallet. They wanted to bring him in and present him to Jesus, but the house was so packed with people that they couldn’t get in. So they climbed up on the roof and pulled off some roof tiles. Then they lowered the man by ropes so he came to rest right in front of Jesus.

In this way, their faith was visible to Jesus.

Jesus (to the man on the pallet): My friend, all your sins are forgiven.

The Pharisees and religious scholars were offended at this. They turned to one another and asked questions.

Pharisees and Religious Scholars: Who does He think He is? Wasn’t that blasphemous? Who can pronounce that a person’s sins are forgiven? Who but God alone?

Jesus (responding with His own question): Why are your hearts full of questions? Which is easier to say, “Your sins are forgiven” or “Get up and walk”? Just so you’ll know that the Son of Man is fully authorized to forgive sins on earth (He turned to the paralyzed fellow lying on the pallet), I say, get up, take your mat, and go home.

Then, right in front of their eyes, the man stood up, picked up his bed, and left to go home—full of praises for God! Everyone was stunned. They couldn’t help but feel awestruck, and they praised God too.

People: We’ve seen extraordinary things today.

Some time later, Jesus walked along the street and saw a tax collector named Levi sitting in his tax office.

Jesus: Follow Me.

And Levi did. He got up from his desk, left everything (just as the fishermen had), and followed Jesus.

Shortly after this, Levi invited his many friends and associates, including many tax collectors, to his home for a large feast in Jesus’ honor. Everyone sat at a table together.

The Pharisees and their associates, the religious scholars, got the attention of some of Jesus’ disciples.

Pharisees (in low voices): What’s wrong with you? Why are you eating and drinking with tax collectors and other immoral people?

Jesus (answering for the disciples): Healthy people don’t need a doctor, but sick people do. I haven’t come for the pure and upstanding; I’ve come to call notorious sinners to rethink their lives and turn to God.

Pharisees: Explain to us why You and Your disciples are so commonly found partying like this, when our disciples—and even the disciples of John—are known for fasting rather than feasting, and for saying prayers rather than drinking wine.

Jesus: Imagine there’s a wedding going on. Is that the time to tell the guests to ignore the bridegroom and fast? Sure, there’s a time for fasting—when the bridegroom has been taken away. Look, nobody tears up a new garment to make a patch for an old garment. If he did, the new patch would shrink and rip the old, and the old garment would be worse off than before. And nobody takes freshly squeezed juice and puts it into old, stiff wineskins. If he did, the fresh wine would make the old skins burst open, and both the wine and the wineskins would be ruined. New demands new—new wine for new wineskins. Anyway, those who’ve never tasted the new wine won’t know what they’re missing; they’ll always say, “The old wine is good enough for me!”

The Book of Luke, Chapter 5 (The Voice)

Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is the 13th chapter of the book of Job where Job addresses reverence before our Creator:

Job: Look. I’ve seen it all with my eyes,

heard and understood it with my ears.

What you know, I know, too;

don’t think I am so far beneath you!

Let our differences be clear; I am ready to speak to the Highest One,

eagerly wanting to argue my case with God.

But you! You smear me with lies as if to help,

but as healers you are worthless.

Would that you were totally silent.

At least that would make you seem wise.

Please, just listen while I reason this out;

lean in to hear how my lips will plead.

Will you try to defend God’s cause by telling lies?

Be deceitful on His behalf?

Will you show partiality for Him?

Argue on His behalf?

How would you fare

if He searched your soul?

Do you think you might deceive Him

as you would any other person?

No. He would bring charges against you

even if you secretly show partiality.

Aren’t you horrified at the weight of His majesty?

Isn’t the dread of Him enough to drop you where you stand?

All your quoted proverbs turn to ash;

your clever comebacks crumble like brittle towers of clay.

So keep your mouths shut around me, and let me speak to God.

And whatever may come, let it come.

Why should I lay my body at the mercy of the words of my own mouth

or risk my life with only my own hands to defend me?

Look, He may well kill me,

but I will hope in Him.

Still I will be ready to argue my case before His very face.

In fact, this will become my salvation,

for the godless wouldn’t even dare to approach Him.

So then here is my account. Listen carefully!

Give me a chance to share my side of the story with you.

My case is prepared, and I am confident

I will be found righteous.

And yet who will meet me in court to argue the other side?

If I am out-argued, then I will stay mute until I die.

Lord, I ask only two concessions in this case;

if You grant them, I will not hide from Your face.

First, remove Your damaging hand from me;

second don’t intimidate me anymore with your terrifying presence.

Then send me Your summons, and I will reply,

or better yet, I will speak first and then You answer me.

How many counts do You have against me?

How many sins must I account for?

Spell out the nature of Your indictment against my rebellious ways.

Why do You hide Your face from me;

why is my name now “nemesis” to You?

Would You waste Your energy to terrify a windblown leaf,

or chase down the dry chaff as it tumbles in the breeze?

For I see bitter accusations against me written in Your own hand;

You call me to account for the guilt of my youth.

You fasten shackles at my ankles but still keep close watch on where I walk,

marking the places where my feet may plant themselves.

This is how a person wastes away to nothing,

like something rotten, like moth-eaten clothing.

The Book of Job, Chapter 13 (The Voice)

my personal reading of the Scriptures for Tuesday, April 20 of 2021 with a paired chapter from each Testament of the Bible, along with Today’s Psalms and Proverbs

A post by John Parsons about clinging to True hope:

Though it is true that God will never leave nor forsake us, he nevertheless allows trouble in our lives so that we will learn to call upon him and know his heart... For how else will we understand the truth of our great need for him, and how else his great provision? "Blessed are the poor in spirit," describes the poignant awareness of our inner poverty, our bankruptcy of heart, the destitution of our condition (Matt. 5:3). We cry inwardly, "Forsake me not, O LORD: O my God, be not far from me" (Psalm 38:21) because we realize our need for deliverance from ourselves; we understand that we cannot take a step in his way apart from his upholding. "Hold thou me up, and I shall be safe: and I will have respect unto thy statutes continually" (Psalm 119:117). "Do not forsake me, O LORD, is the mantra in our darkness, the antiphon of God's promised Presence; it is the cry of the heart that knows that only God can get us through the next moment and its temptation to despair. "Do not forsake me, O LORD, lest I be swallowed up by my pain, my fear, my sadness, my anguish of heart; do not forsake me, for I am nothing but the anguish of the moment, the sorrow of loneliness, the fear of my own heart as I tremble before you in my desperation...

O LORD, You came to heal the sick; you spoke life to those who are without strength or remedy; you came to seek the lost, to find those who are without a place or sense of belonging in this world. O Lord, you know that without you I can do nothing; you know that I weak, poor, and needy; my path is perilous and I have no hope apart from you. Be not far from me; do not leave me to my own devices nor the counsel of my own soul. Save me, O God, for the glory of your Name; be magnified in your heart of love and faithfulness. Amen. [Hebrew for Christians]

4.19.21 • Facebook

Today’s message from the Institute for Creation Research

April 20, 2021

God Is Holy

“Who is like unto thee, O LORD, among the gods? who is like thee, glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders?” (Exodus 15:11)

The awesome vision of the throne that God gave Isaiah included a short description of the seraphims. They stood above the throne announcing, “Holy, holy, holy, is the LORD of hosts: the whole earth is full of his glory” (Isaiah 6:3). They are cited again in Revelation 4:8 constantly saying, “Holy, holy, holy, LORD God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come.”

Apparently, the holiness of God is all-consuming.

Both the Hebrew and Greek words for “holy” used in Scripture are strong descriptions of separateness, a dedicated detachment from all else. “Who shall not fear thee, O Lord, and glorify thy name? for thou only art holy” (Revelation 15:4). “There is none holy as the LORD: for there is none beside thee: neither is there any rock like our God” (1 Samuel 2:2).

It is this absolute and unique transcendence that sets the Creator of the universe above and beyond all others: “For I am God, and there is none else; I am God, and there is none like me” (Isaiah 46:9). Although there are “gods many, and lords many” (1 Corinthians 8:5), and the “desperately wicked” heart of man (Jeremiah 17:9) twists the “glory of the uncorruptible God” (Romans 1:23) into every vile image possible, “Jesus Christ [is] the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever” (Hebrews 13:8).

Since God is holy, you and I can trust Him without reservation or doubt. “For all the promises of God in him are yea, and in him Amen” (2 Corinthians 1:20). Since God is holy, we can be totally confident that our souls are secure in God, “with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning” (James 1:17). HMM III

[dfroza]

Today’s reading in the ancient book of Psalms and Proverbs

for Saturday, march 14 of 2020 with Psalm 14 and Proverbs 14, accompanied by Psalm 85 for the 85th day of Winter and Psalm 74 for day 74 of the year

[Psalm 14]

God Looks Down from Heaven

For the Pure and Shining One, by King David

Only the withering soul would say to himself,

“There is no God.”

Anyone who thinks like this is corrupt and callous,

depraved and detestable, devoid of what is good.

The Lord looks down in love,

bending over heaven’s balcony,

looking over all of Adam’s sons and daughters.

He’s looking to see if there is anyone who acts wisely,

any who are searching for God and wanting to please him.

But no, everyone has wandered astray,

walking stubbornly toward evil.

Not one is good; he can’t even find one.

Look how they live in luxury while exploiting my people!

Won’t these workers of wickedness ever learn?

They don’t ever even think of praying to God.

But just look at them now, in panic, trembling with terror.

For the Lord is on the side of the generation of loyal lovers.

The Lord is always the safest place for the poor

when the workers of wickedness oppress them.

How I wish that Israel’s rescue

would arise from the midst of Zion!

When his people are restored,

Jacob’s joy will break forth

and Israel will be glad!

The Book of Psalms, Poem 14 (The Passion Translation)

[Proverbs 14]

Every wise woman encourages and builds up her family,

but a foolish woman over time will tear it down by her own actions.

Lovers of truth follow the right path

because of their wonderment and worship of God.

But the devious display their disdain for him.

The words of a proud fool will all come back to haunt him.

But the words of the wise

will become a shield of protection around them.

The only clean stable is an empty stable.

So if you want the work of an ox and to enjoy an abundant harvest,

you’ll have a mess or two to clean up!

An honest witness will never lie,

but a deceitful witness lies with every breath.

The intellectually arrogant seek for wisdom,

but they never seem to discover

what they claim they’re looking for.

For revelation-knowledge flows to the one

who hungers for understanding.

The words of the wise are like weapons of knowledge.

If you need wise counsel, stay away from the fool.

For the wisdom of the wise will keep life on the right track,

while the fool only deceives himself

and refuses to face reality.

Fools mock the need for repentance,

while the favor of God rests upon all his lovers.

Don’t expect anyone else to fully understand

both the bitterness and the joys

of all you experience in your life.

The household of the wicked is soon torn apart,

while the family of the righteous flourishes.

You can rationalize it all you want

and justify the path of error you have chosen,

but you’ll find out in the end that you took the road to destruction.

Superficial laughter can hide a heavy heart,

but when the laughter ends, the pain resurfaces.

Those who turn from the truth get what they deserve,

but a good person receives a sweet reward.

A gullible person will believe anything,

but a sensible person will confirm the facts.

A wise person is careful in all things and turns quickly from evil,

while the impetuous fool moves ahead with overconfidence.

An impulsive person has a short fuse and can ruin everything,

but the wise show self-control.

The naïve demonstrate a lack of wisdom,

but the lovers of wisdom are crowned with revelation-knowledge.

Evil ones will pay tribute to good people

and eventually come to be servants of the godly.

The poor are disliked even by their neighbors,

but everyone wants to get close to the wealthy.

It’s a sin to despise one who is less fortunate than you,

but when you are kind to the poor,

you will prosper and be blessed.

Haven’t you noticed how evil schemers always wander astray?

But kindness and truth come to those

who make plans to be pure in all their ways.

If you work hard at what you do,

great abundance will come to you.

But merely talking about getting rich

while living to only pursue your pleasures

brings you face-to-face with poverty.

The true net worth of the wise is the wealth that wisdom imparts.

But the way of life for the fool is his foolishness.

Speak the truth and you’ll save souls,

but in the spreading of lies treachery thrives.

Confidence and strength flood the hearts

of the lovers of God who live in awe of him,

and their devotion provides their children

with a place of shelter and security.

To worship God in wonder and awe

opens a fountain of life within you,

empowering you to escape death’s domain.

A king glories in the number of his loyal followers,

but a dwindling population spells ruin for any leader.

When your heart overflows with understanding

you’ll be very slow to get angry.

But if you have a quick temper,

your impatience will be quickly seen by all.

A tender, tranquil heart will make you healthy,

but jealousy can make you sick.

Insult your Creator, will you?

That’s exactly what you do

every time that you oppress the powerless!

Showing kindness to the poor is equal to honoring your maker.

The wicked are crushed by every calamity,

but the lovers of God find a strong hope

even in the time of death.

Wisdom soothes the heart of the one with living-understanding,

but the heart of the fool just stockpiles stupidity.

A nation is exalted by the righteousness of its people,

but sin heaps disgrace upon the land.

A wise and faithful servant receives promotion from the king,

but the one who acts disgracefully

gets to taste the anger of the king.

The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 14 (The Passion Translation)

[Psalm 85]

Mercy and Truth

For the Pure and Shining One

A prophetic song, composed by the sons of Korah

Lord, your love has poured out

so many amazing blessings on our land!

You’ve restored Jacob’s destiny from captivity.

You’ve forgiven our many sins and covered

every one of them in your love.

Pause in his presence

So now it’s obvious that your blazing anger has ended and

the furious fire of wrath has been extinguished by your mercy.

So bring us back to loving you, God our Savior.

Restore our hearts so that we’ll never again

feel your anger rise against us.

Will you forever hold a grudge?

Will your anger endure for all time?

Revive us again, O God! I know you will! Give us a fresh start!

Then all your people will taste your joy and gladness.

Pour out even more of your love on us!

Reveal more of your kindness and restore us back to you!

Now I’ll listen carefully for your voice

and wait to hear whatever you say.

Let me hear your promise of peace—

the message every one of your godly lovers longs to hear.

Don’t let us in our ignorance turn back from following you.

For I know your power and presence shines on all your lovers.

Your glory always hovers over all who bow low before you.

Your mercy and your truth have married each other.

Your righteousness and peace have kissed.

Flowers of your faithfulness are blooming on the earth.

Righteousness shines down from the sky.

Yes, the Lord keeps raining down blessing after blessing,

and prosperity will drench the land with a bountiful harvest.

For deliverance and peace are his forerunners,

preparing a path for his steps.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 85 (The Passion Translation)

[Psalm 74]

We Need You Now

Asaph’s poem of instruction

Are you really going to leave us, God?

Would you turn your back on us, rejecting your people?

We are yours, your very own.

Will your anger smolder against us forever?

Don’t forget that we are your beloved ones.

Wrap us back into your heart again, for you chose us.

You brought us out of our slavery and bondage

and made us your favored ones, your Zion-people,

your home on earth.

Turn your steps toward this devastation.

Come running to bring your restoring grace to these ruins,

to what the enemy has done to devastate your Holy Place.

They have come into the very midst of your dwelling place,

roaring like beasts, setting up their banners to flaunt their conquest.

Now everything is in shambles! They’ve totally destroyed it.

Like a forest chopped down to the ground,

there’s nothing’s left.

All of the beauty of the craftsmanship

of the inner place has been ruined,

smashed, broken, and shattered.

They’ve burned it all to the ground.

They’ve violated your sanctuary,

the very dwelling place of your glory and your name.

They boasted, “Let’s completely crush them!

Let’s wipe out every trace of this God.

Let’s burn up every sacred place where they worship this God.”

We don’t see any miraculous signs anymore.

There’s no longer a prophet among us

who can tell us how long this devastation will continue.

God, how much longer will you let this go on

and allow these barbarians to blaspheme your name?

Will you stand back and watch them get away with this forever?

Why don’t you do something?

You have the power to break in,

so why would you hide your great power from us?

Don’t hold back! Unleash your might and give them a final blow.

You have always been, and always will be, my King.

You are the mighty conqueror, working wonders all over the world.

It was you who split the sea in two by your glorious strength.

You smashed the power of Tannin, the sea monster.

You crushed the might of Leviathan, the great dragon,

then you took the crumbs and fed them to the sharks.

With your glory you opened up springs and fountains,

then you spoke and the ever-flowing springs of Jordan

dried up so we could cross over.

You own the day and the night.

Sunlight and starlight call you Creator.

The four corners of the earth were formed by your hands,

and every changing season owes its beauty to you.

O Jehovah, don’t ever forget how these arrogant enemies,

like fools, have mocked your name.

Lord, aren’t we your beloved dove that praises you?

Protect us from these wild beasts who want to harm us.

Don’t leave us as lambs among wolves!

You can’t abandon us after all we’ve been through!

Remember your promises to us,

for darkness covers the land,

giving the violent ones a hiding place.

Don’t let these insults continue.

Can’t you see that we are your downtrodden

and oppressed people?

Make the poor and needy into a choir of praise to you!

Don’t ignore these ignorant words, this continual mocking.

Rise up, God; it’s time to defend yourself from all of this.

Never forget what your adversaries are saying.

For their rage and uproar rise continually against you.

It’s time to stand up to them!

The Book of Psalms, Poem 74 (The Passion Translation)

[dfroza]

Today’s reading from the ancient books of Proverbs and Psalms

for Thursday, january 14 of 2021 with Proverbs 14 and Psalm 14, accompanied by Psalm 25 for the 25th day of Winter

[Psalm 14]

God Looks Down from Heaven

For the Pure and Shining One, by King David

Only the withering soul would say to himself,

“There is no God.”

Anyone who thinks like this is corrupt and callous,

depraved and detestable, devoid of what is good.

The Lord looks down in love,

bending over heaven’s balcony,

looking over all of Adam’s sons and daughters.

He’s looking to see if there is anyone who acts wisely,

any who are searching for God and wanting to please him.

But no, everyone has wandered astray,

walking stubbornly toward evil.

Not one is good; he can’t even find one.

Look how they live in luxury while exploiting my people!

Won’t these workers of wickedness ever learn?

They don’t ever even think of praying to God.

But just look at them now, in panic, trembling with terror.

For the Lord is on the side of the generation of loyal lovers.

The Lord is always the safest place for the poor

when the workers of wickedness oppress them.

How I wish that Israel’s rescue

would arise from the midst of Zion!

When his people are restored,

Jacob’s joy will break forth

and Israel will be glad!

The Book of Psalms, Poem 14 (The Passion Translation)

[Proverbs 14]

Every wise woman encourages and builds up her family,

but a foolish woman over time will tear it down by her own actions.

Lovers of truth follow the right path

because of their wonderment and worship of God.

But the devious display their disdain for him.

The words of a proud fool will all come back to haunt him.

But the words of the wise

will become a shield of protection around them.

The only clean stable is an empty stable.

So if you want the work of an ox and to enjoy an abundant harvest,

you’ll have a mess or two to clean up!

An honest witness will never lie,

but a deceitful witness lies with every breath.

The intellectually arrogant seek for wisdom,

but they never seem to discover

what they claim they’re looking for.

For revelation-knowledge flows to the one

who hungers for understanding.

The words of the wise are like weapons of knowledge.

If you need wise counsel, stay away from the fool.

For the wisdom of the wise will keep life on the right track,

while the fool only deceives himself

and refuses to face reality.

Fools mock the need for repentance,

while the favor of God rests upon all his lovers.

Don’t expect anyone else to fully understand

both the bitterness and the joys

of all you experience in your life.

The household of the wicked is soon torn apart,

while the family of the righteous flourishes.

You can rationalize it all you want

and justify the path of error you have chosen,

but you’ll find out in the end that you took the road to destruction.

Superficial laughter can hide a heavy heart,

but when the laughter ends, the pain resurfaces.

Those who turn from the truth get what they deserve,

but a good person receives a sweet reward.

A gullible person will believe anything,

but a sensible person will confirm the facts.

A wise person is careful in all things and turns quickly from evil,

while the impetuous fool moves ahead with overconfidence.

An impulsive person has a short fuse and can ruin everything,

but the wise show self-control.

The naïve demonstrate a lack of wisdom,

but the lovers of wisdom are crowned with revelation-knowledge.

Evil ones will pay tribute to good people

and eventually come to be servants of the godly.

The poor are disliked even by their neighbors,

but everyone wants to get close to the wealthy.

It’s a sin to despise one who is less fortunate than you,

but when you are kind to the poor,

you will prosper and be blessed.

Haven’t you noticed how evil schemers always wander astray?

But kindness and truth come to those

who make plans to be pure in all their ways.

If you work hard at what you do,

great abundance will come to you.

But merely talking about getting rich

while living to only pursue your pleasures

brings you face-to-face with poverty.

The true net worth of the wise is the wealth that wisdom imparts.

But the way of life for the fool is his foolishness.

Speak the truth and you’ll save souls,

but in the spreading of lies treachery thrives.

Confidence and strength flood the hearts

of the lovers of God who live in awe of him,

and their devotion provides their children

with a place of shelter and security.

To worship God in wonder and awe

opens a fountain of life within you,

empowering you to escape death’s domain.

A king glories in the number of his loyal followers,

but a dwindling population spells ruin for any leader.

When your heart overflows with understanding

you’ll be very slow to get angry.

But if you have a quick temper,

your impatience will be quickly seen by all.

A tender, tranquil heart will make you healthy,

but jealousy can make you sick.

Insult your Creator, will you?

That’s exactly what you do

every time that you oppress the powerless!

Showing kindness to the poor is equal to honoring your maker.

The wicked are crushed by every calamity,

but the lovers of God find a strong hope

even in the time of death.

Wisdom soothes the heart of the one with living-understanding,

but the heart of the fool just stockpiles stupidity.

A nation is exalted by the righteousness of its people,

but sin heaps disgrace upon the land.

A wise and faithful servant receives promotion from the king,

but the one who acts disgracefully

gets to taste the anger of the king.

The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 14 (The Passion Translation)

[Psalm 25]

A song of David.

ALWAYS I will lift up my soul to You, Eternal One,

BECAUSE You are my God and I put my trust in You.

Do not let me be humiliated.

Do not let my enemies celebrate at my expense.

CERTAINLY none of the people who rely on You will be shamed,

but those who are unfaithful, who intentionally deceive,

they are the ones who will be disgraced.

DEMONSTRATE Your ways, O Eternal One.

Teach me to understand so I can follow.

EASE me down the path of Your truth.

FEED me Your word

because You are the True God who has saved me.

I wait all day long, hoping, trusting in You.

GRACIOUS Eternal One, remember Your compassion; rekindle Your concern and love,

which have always been part of Your actions toward those who are Yours.

Do not HOLD against me the sins I committed when I was young;

instead, deal with me according to Your mercy and love.

Then Your goodness may be demonstrated in all the world, Eternal One.

IMMENSELY good and honorable is the Eternal;

that’s why He teaches sinners the way.

With JUSTICE, He directs the humble in all that is right,

and He shows them His way.

KIND and true are all the ways of the Eternal

to the people who keep His covenant and His words.

O LORD, the Eternal, bring glory to Your name,

and forgive my sins because they are beyond number.

MAY anyone who fears the Eternal

be shown the path he should choose.

His soul will NOT only live in goodness,

but his children will inherit the land.

ONLY those who stand in awe of the Eternal will have intimacy with Him,

and He will reveal His covenant to them.

PERPETUALLY my focus takes me to the Eternal

because He will set me free from the traps laid for me.

QUIETLY turn Your eyes to me and be compassionate toward me

because I am lonely and persecuted.

RAPIDLY my heart beats as troubles build on the horizon.

Come relieve me from these threats.

SEE my troubles and my misery,

and forgive all my sins.

TAKE notice of my enemies.

See how there are so many of them

who hate me and would seek my violent destruction.

Watch over my soul,

and let me face shame and defeat

UNASHAMED because You are my refuge.

May honor and strong character keep me safe.

VIGILANTLY I wait for You, hoping, trusting.

Save Israel from all its troubles,

O True God.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 25 (The Voice)