#(other than that just remember that the host is an alter too and the 'core' isnt really a thing its more just the first host and shit)

[thecatspasta]

LMAOOOO

Oh god I was just reminded of the fucking amongus sustem with imposter syndrome joke me and some friends have UHHH

Every now and again I think about Jon having dissociative identity disorder and I think that just needs to happen. Please he has the childhood trauma for it (Im not talking about Mr Spider I mean his grandmother and parents deaths). I fucking need this. For me specifically and noone else

[damagedcoda6669]

okay so i am. so confused! are you a system/plural after all?

you made a post on your twitter about being the "original host" which is. a plural term of course but ALSO i'd like to say that the idea of there being an "original" is veeery misleading and not actually possible in DID/OSDD

the reason DID/OSDD exists at all is because a child's identity was unable to fully form in their developmental years, so the identity splits off and fractures into several parts necessary to keep the child safe. because of this, there can be no "original host" because there was never an identity formed that could be considered the "core," in a way, at all. it gives off the idea that there was one set identity that split off others later on in life, which isnt how DID/OSDD works in terms of alter formation

also, the disorder can only be developed in your early formative years, so its mostly unheard of for a system to go through life with a single part only to split off later on. your brain splits off alters in response to stressors or traumatic experiences, and so when the disorder is formed there would have to have been a fracture from the beginning where your identity wasnt able to come together to form a single one. multiple alters can be "original," in a sense, but there is not one sole original

i suppose that other alters could have simply been integrated and so they arent a part of your system anymore (leaving you as the "original host"), but thats probably not my place to explore and its all a bit too complicated for a tumblr ask

there are parts that have been around longer than all the other parts and there are parts that identify with/as the body or the head of the system, buuuut i just wanted to share that tidbit of information because misinformation can be very harmful when it comes to healthy plurality!!

in any case, dont let this cause you to spiral into more self-doubt because — surprise! DID/OSDD is supposed to be hard to understand or identify within yourself. its a trauma disorder formed to make you as functional as possible, so generally the disorder tries very hard to hide your other parts from you as to protect you from those traumas. being confused is a major part of plurality, and most long-term hosts do have the misconception of being "original" because there was no reason to think otherwise.

its also fully possible that you have been the host for the majority (or entirety) of your life, so dont get me wrong! im just trying to share that the idea of an "original" alter isnt possible.

regardless of whether or not you're plural, i wish you the best in exploring yourself and the way that your brain functions. you're doing great, truly!

and if i misinterpreted anything, im deeply sorry for that too. i'm just a stranger on the internet trying to provide input using the information i was given, and i genuinely dont mean any offense by this ask. DID/OSDD is also something i'm very interested in and passionate about as an autistic individual, so... im very sorry for the essay

THIS IS SO HELPFUL U HAVE NO IDEA. I KNOW NEXT 2 NOTHING ABT PLURALITY AND SYSTEMS. dont apologize 4 the rambling, its much appreciated!!! i get the same way abt bpd and autism so i get it!!! psychology and mental disorders r one of my special interests so im the same way!!! ^_^

i guess my post moreso came from the concern that i only have vry vry spotty, fuzzy, sometimes FAKE memories of my childhood, if any at all (id say i remember less than 1% of it, and most of what i "remember" is only becuz of photo evidence or testimony from other ppl) and my identity only rlly formed when i joined the internet at maybe 12 yrs old. so i sometimes have doubts that i formed when the body was born, but rather that i was created and that im a product of the internet inparticular, but that might also be a delusion??? its confusing, whenever i get ideas abt my identity they turn out 2 be fake sometimes. its hard 2 pinpoint what i am. so i was trying 2 say that i dont think ive been here since the birth of the body and that i spawned later on. idk if im explaining myself correctly, its hard 4 me 2 understand. but i appreciate u correcting me and explaining it 2 me in a way thats easy 4 me 2 digest!!! i dont want 2 spread misinfo evr.

i think im plural??? ive had liek 8 headmates (and a headspace at one point) that ive been able 2 identify, but nobodys rlly taken me srsly abt it until vry vry recently. ive always been told that im making it up 4 attention, or that im faking DID, and i was even told by a dumbass doctor that it was just my autism and that they were all imaginary. i nvr rlly claimed 2 be plural either, i always just got shot down whenevr i introduced the possibility of there being other sentient ppl in my brain. but i think that i am, probably. im not sticking 2 any labels atm becuz im confused and uneducated abt my headmates and im not diagnosed w anything, but i feel comfy with plural as a label becuz its a vague umbrella term. i nevr claimed 2 have DID becuz ive always known that my headmates cant front and take over my body (ive even asked one and she told me she couldnt LOL) ALTHOUGH. they MIGHT be able 2 front simultaneously as me, ive had edgy (whos currently dormant) finish art 4 me if i got tired, back in 2020 when he was still active. and i know alters fronting is a diagnostic requirement for DID (i think???) but i dunno. theres SOMETHING up w my brain.

i tried 2 post abt it on twitter actually, that i thought i was plural (a handful of ppl asked me so i wanted 2 confirm) but i deleted the post like an hour later becuz i wasnt getting any comments or likes and i was scared that i did something wrong and didnt know, or that im not actually plural and other plural ppl were mad at me 4 using their label. it made me so anxious >n<

i am such a yapper.. 4give me

[twelve-nights]

kin mem dump / i try to explain the mess that is my doll-solver timeline

Everything is under cut because this is going to be LONG. I apologize ahead of time for the likely disorganization lmao,, I don't have to energy to clean this up like a proper essay

"I" here refers to Doll btw,

It's probably obvious already but I was pretty canon divergent, although some of the things aren't confirmed or contradicted by canon, so I guess it could still be canon but probably unlikely.

I'll get to the weirdness with the Solver (and the "solver family tree" i made) at the end, so here's the other major differences:

The universe was a simulation. Or at least I'm pretty sure it was something like that. There's no way that the Solver should be able to change the properties of stuff using code or open up [null] black holes if it wasn't.

I became close friends with Uzi. Also I didn't die in episode 7. This friendship happened after what should've been ep 7 and it started after I let her keep the keybug after barging into her room. I remember telling her to talk to me later (which I honestly wasn't expecting her to do, but she did) after she told me that "[the keybug] was the only answer to what was wrong with [her]".

Yeva wasn't dead. I don't remember how I found her or when but she had survived in her core like Nori did. I'm pretty sure it happened at least a few months after Cabin Fever Labs though.

And finally, here is the "Solver family tree" and my attempt to explain it

Basically, the original Solver was copied into (infected) Cyn, which then mutated and became the thing in canon. Only Cyn's Solver and copies of that has an affection towards N/V/J/Tessa. That was later directly copied into Nori and Yeva during the experiments.

What the Crucifix Patch did in my canon was basically get rid of its "murder everything"ness and stopped a lot of the overheating problems (which in turn weakened it). I consider mine and Yeva's "strain" of it to be sort of separate from Cyn's, but since the virus doesn't just copy its "base code" and copies EVERYTHING into the new host (including memories), I do have a few snippets of memories from both Cyn and Yeva. This is also why Uzi's Solver has the same opinions towards N/V/J/Tessa.

Also, the Solver was a separate program and basically was like a half-person in your head fighting for control. Constantly. You overheat more than normal, even with Copper-9 being almost freezing

Anyways, Yeva and my copy of the Solver was a lot less murdery (although it still needed oil often) and we could kind of negotiate with it since it didn't want to murder everyone. I unfortunately did not learn this until after Cabin Fever Labs. Oops.

But yeah, I eventually formed a bit of an alliance with it and it would usually manifest itself as a security camera tail or wire coming out of my neck. Uzi's Solver fucking hated mine after realizing it was on our side and would try to fight it so much. Too many times did N and the others have to try to split us apart lmao,,

I have a bunch of other scattered memories that I'm not sure where I can fit an explanation here, so feel free to send in an ask or something :>

Oh yeah, I should probably explain why I say I kin the Solver.

Technically, I guess I'm only my own Solver but because that was a copy of an altered copy of an altered copy, I do have some memories from Cyn and Yeva. It's kind of just.. weird computer logistics...? So its easier to say I just kin the Solver than having to explain the weirdness of it in my canon lmao,, It's really hard to explain robot things in human terms lol,,

tagging @anon-coke since you were curious about this :}

[multiplicity-positivity]

Hi there! I hope you guys are doing well.

I've been a questioning system on and off for the past long while, and was just wondering - is it normal to feel like it's difficult to think about? Not in an anxiety or "I don't want to think about it" way, but in a "I want to think about it and understand better but it feels like there is a physical barrier in my brain preventing me from thinking about it too hard or reaching out to any potential headmates?" It's starting to get really frustrating.

It takes a lot of concentration and effort to be able to reach out, and when I am able to, I rarely get responses, and they're normally just one-word replies where it's almost hard to tell if I got a reply at all or if I'm just psyching myself out.

I was just wondering if y'all had any advice or thoughts? Is this normal? Does this mean anything? I don't know what to do, or if I'm actually a system at all (I have all of the symptoms of PDID but can't tell if it's actually PDID or just a compound of a bunch if other symptoms from other stuff) and I'm really lost. Any advice that any of y'all have would be monumentally helpful.

Also, I just wanted to say thank you for the amount of resources y'all have on this blog. I've found so many of them so helpful, so, just, thank all of you so much. I hope y'all have a wonderful day :)

Hi! The short answer to your question is yes, this is very normal, especially for systems with dissociative disorders or those who have dissociative barriers between headmates.

Our host also seriously struggled to establish and build contact and communication between us at first - and that’s even just with our established core fronting group! It took a lot of effort, patience, and work in therapy for us to reach the level of communication we have today. Even now, there are quite a few alters in our system who many of us do not have access to. At this point, we’ve learned to take things slow and try not to rush to bring down those barriers. We’re focusing on moving forward a little bit at a time, and that’s honestly been quite effective for us!

We���d encourage you, if you haven’t already, to start journalling, and encourage other potential parts, alters, or headmates to write in the journal as well. Even if you can’t get in touch with them, reminding yourself that the journal is for everyone and leaving it in an easily accessible place might allow your headmates to start expressing themselves and attempt to get to know each other even if y’all aren’t able to contact each other well inside just yet.

We also have this post on establishing contact with headmates - maybe it’ll be helpful for y’all?

Please don’t stress too much if no one writes in the journal or you don’t hear back from any headmates straight away. Again, this process takes plenty of time and patience! Honestly we’d say give it a few months of attempts before you start to grow discouraged. Also, having access to a qualified therapist who you trust can be immensely beneficial for getting through to headmates, especially at first!

And if it turns out you’re not actually a system, remember that’s okay!! That is totally fine. You mentioned PDID, which means you might have PTSD or C-PTSD, both of which often come with dissociation as a symptom or trauma response. So as long as you’re prioritizing your health and getting the help you need, to us, that’s definitely most important!

We’re wishing you the best of luck with figuring this out. Feel welcome to reach out to us again if you need any more help in the future! We’re not experts or professionals, but we’re more than happy to help with advice and resources to the best of our ability.

🌸 Margo and 🖋 Cecil

[malikselfindulgence]

Hello! Not a request but a question. I hope I won’t make you uncomfortable, sorry— but you could please explain to me what systems are? Or sending some links explaining? I have saw it sometimes but never could understand it well… I just want to get informed since some of my moots are and I want to support and learn more about them.

No worries, this doesn't make me uncomfortable at all, and I'm glad you asked!

First things first, every system or person with DID is different with different experiences. I'll be describing some of my own here, but just know it could always be different for others. The best way to support someone is to ask them questions, see what their experiences are like, and try and educate yourself outside of that as well!

Anyone feel free to correct me on anything I got wrong! DID is still seen in a horrible light where I live, which is hard for me, but I've been trying my best to learn

DID/dissociative identity disorder is usually caused by traumatic events in childhood, where the child proceeds to try and distance themselves from this trauma by dissociating, or pushing the events and memories onto another self, thus creating a fragmented sense of identity. This usually causes amnesia as well, due to repressing memories

A system is a body that has dissociative identity disorder/other specified dissociative disorder. There's usually a "host", the core of the body, and "alters", other personalities who diverge from the host

"Fronting" is a term usually used to describe which alter is in control of the body's actions at the time, or most present in the moment. Not all people with DID have such distinct compartilzations, though. Sometimes multiple alters might be fronting, sometimes you might not know at all. Remember that DID is a dissociate disorder!

Alters have a wide range depending on person to person- sometimes they have different interests, names, genders, ages and the like, and sometimes they're a lot more foggy and unspecific than that. People can have even up to 100 alters, or just the one. For me, it's only me and my alter Blaze! He's only chosen a name for himself pretty recently, though.

Remember to ask, if they're comfortable with it, more about alters and their differences. And, again if they're comfortable with it, who's fronting right now so you can differentiate between them. It's a nice way to show you respect their identities and that you care!

Here are some links that go a little more in-depth about the symptoms of DID!

Link 1 ☆ Link 2 ☆ CARRD made by someone w DID!

I talk a bit more about my own experiences with DID down below, but you can skip this bit >.> TW: mentions of childhood sexual abuse past this point

While I am not medically diagnosed with DID, I've had 3 therapists say I have a dissociative disorder and it's highly likely to be DID/OSDD, but since a medical diagnosis like that would literally wreck my life in this backwards ass country lol I don't want it on any of my records [same thing with autism! I was asked to get a formal diagnosis but my mother literally refused]

I formed my alter Blaze due to repeated sexual abuse at school from a teacher, and grooming from an older woman. Blaze was there to help me manage my emotions, and take over when I was too overwhelmed to even speak let alone move or function properly. I know I speak about it in a fairly casual and friendly manner on here, but DID has heavily affected my life. There's things neither me or Blaze can remember, and it scares us. There's days where I feel so far away from my body and I shut down completely because I don't feel like I really exist in the physical world. There's days where I or Blaze look in the mirror and we can't see ourselves, and it's very distressing.

I've been getting much more comfortable talking about it online! The community is very loving and open, and it's helped me and Blaze feel more comfortable. Nobody irl knows this part of me, despite the fact our mom notices the changes in behaviour sometimes, so it's nice having somewhere to talk about it

Me and Blaze been trying to manage our symptoms and relationship better! Things are much much better than they were in the past, especially now that we're far away from our past sexual harassors.

I think that's about it! I hope this helped at least somewhat, and feel free to ask more questions if you've got any! ☆

[shitty-goose-quack]

hey! pippa here :-)

i was wondering how common it was for a system to have very few people, like under five. also, whether it’s possible for it to be very rare that anyone other than the core (i think that’s the term) is in control?

Hi pippa/helena I am Quinn, I'm also the core, or at least the most like our core. Systems can come in all shapes and sizes, I am part of a traumagenic system (meaning my system formed from trauma), and you'll find that there is a lot of hate and discourse about traumagenic/endogenic systems (we personally try to stay out of all that). in any case, if you are also traumagenic then jake and whoever else might be there formed so that you didn't have to deal with all the trauma all the time. That doesn't mean that having only a few headmates (parts, alters, people in your head, whatever term(s) you chose to use) is because you didn't have enough trauma, it could be a bunch of things, but please don't feel invalid because you only have a few.

-switch lol, thea they/she now-

it's also possible that you guys haven't learned how to unmask yet, some signs of that include

feeling foggy all the time

not being sure who you are at any given moment

feeling like you're faking it

jake being able to pretend to be you very easily and quickly

it's very common when you first realize you're a system, because the point is not knowing you have headmates. So, maybe Jake is just the most vocal/different headmate, and in learning that you'll discover more.* or maybe not, maybe it's just you 2 and that's okay too!

as for your second question yes, that is also possible, and in that case your core would also be your 'host' or the person who fronts most often

quick side note, core is typically used to refer to the child who was there before splitting (usualy around 7), and from splitting to realizing you're a system it's assumed that a bunch of people fronted until you realized. Then the host, which is usually (but not always) the person in your system that goes by your birthname, identifies with that gender, etc. Anyway, hosts are technically the people/person that front the most often, but we use it like "the people that the rest of us pretend to be like"

.switch back to Quinn.

There's also stuff called co-consciousness, which would be like you can hear jake in your head but you are the one in control, and co-fronting, which would be like you are both in control and talk to each other.

So yeah I hope that answered your questions, sorry for the late reply again, I think we're in different time zones. I can link you to some recourses/answer more questions if you want, just let us know

edited by Quinn: *yeah that seams like that's what happened after reading your posts, colored text is a really good way of keeping track, good job! im proud of all of you for figuring this out, and for making picrews (we still can't make picrews and we've been aware for going on 8 months lol). i just want to remind you all that being foggy is okay. not knowing who's who is okay. not knowing when switching happens is okay. don't beat yourselves up about it, it'll come with time and practice, and it wont hurt anything if you accidentally mix it up and type as someone else. you'll learn and move on. It might sometimes feel like you're faking it, that'll also fade with time. remember: people know if they're faking something. people know if they intentionally set out to fake something. if you didn't, you're not faking. If it turns out you guys are not a system but it turns out it's something else, it will not hurt the anyone, you'll just have made a mistake in figuring out who you are, and that's okay. We love you and we're rooting for you 😘🤗.

[my-rion]

Seeing things clearly.

Anne here again.

Another thing I wanted to talk about in terms of where my mental health is at these days, is a realization I had the other day. This is still something I am coming to terms with.

I am just another alter, like everyone else in the system.

Yup, that’s right. Ever since my diagnosis I had it in my mind that somehow I was “the original” or “the core”. That all the other alters formed as a means to protect ME. That any time they were co-conscious or fronting with or without me, was time that I was “lending” them. Even if I had no control over who came to the front & when, in my mind, they were somehow intruding in my space.

It pains me to reflect on this, because I realize how much I have hurt everyone in the system by inadvertently putting them below me, just because I am the host. When in reality, my being the host, is just a role, my role, & it’s no different than how the lead singer of a band becomes the face of that band, & the one everyone recognizes, while all the other band members are in the background working just as hard even if no one cares to remember their faces or their names

There is no core. There is no original. This is not a pie chart with a circle in the middle representing myself, while everyone else is just one of many slices outside of it. This is a pie chart wherein I too, am one of those slices, we are all evenly cut, & there is no middle at all.

The only thing my being a host means, is just like my lead singer analogy, when people see my face, they see ME, Anne. They don’t see Chris, Jamie, Soren, Althea, Ares, Hannah, No. 6 or Maverick, or any of the others who haven’t come forward yet. I simply happen to be the one who fronts the most, who makes most of the important decisions, social appearances, & I have to take responsibility for the behaviour of all the other alters because other people don’t see or understand them & how they could possibly all share the body with me.

After I realized this I thought hard about my life, my past. My childhood. Adolescence. Early 20’s. & something came to my awareness, which was jarring to say the least. How could I be the original? There have been at least 2 or 3 hosts all transitioning into each other then fading into the background before I came to take this role.

The first was Soren. Soren was the first host I can remember the body having. I haven’t spoken much about Soren here, but I will one day. Soren is one of the most multidimensional alters in our system. It explains why we hated being a girl when the body was a child. I always wanted short hair. I always fought (physically) with the boys & not the girls. It deeply upset Soren every time we were forced to wear a dress or anything feminine. I could dig deeper into our childhood memories to talk more on this, or bring up the other things that have made me aware of this but I'll stop here. As that would require me to go into who Soren is, & what makes him tick. Soren still fronts regularly, & when I make a post on him I’ll explain his triggers that cause him to do so.

Jamie started to co-front with Soren more & more & unless I really sit to think about it, I can’t really say right now when exactly Soren transitioned out of being the host & left it to Jamie. All I know is Jamie was there for a long time. Probably from the age of at least 12 to around 18 is when Jamie began her transition out of being host, & Hannah stepped in. I think by the age of 20, Jamie had fully transitioned out & I can’t really say as of right now if it was just Hannah for a year or two, or if I had started my transition in at that age as well. Either way, Hannah remained dominant over both Jamie & myself from the age of 18-19 to at least 21. I know for sure though that I was co-host by the age of 20-21. By the age of 22 I had become dominant over Hannah, & she started to transition out, only making appearances when she felt threatened. When Hannah finally transitioned out fully by the age of 23, it was just me. & I fully believe I will be the system’s final host due to reasons I won’t go into here.

It’s been humbling. Extremely. Jarring too, as I’ve said. To have gone my whole life, undiagnosed & even when I was diagnosed, believing that this life & body belonged to me alone, to realizing I’m one of many moving parts in our system, & my role as host does not make me special or above the others, & that I wasn’t even the first host at that. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but necessary. Unless I fully acknowledge this fact, & truly co-exist as roommates, or rather, headmates, with the others, instead of their landlord, I will never function peacefully with this disorder, & Ares & Hannah will remain persecutors, never evolving into the protector roles they were always meant to be. So, although it’s going to take a lot of adjusting & correcting my thoughts, I feel like this was a piece of the puzzle that had kept me stagnant for a long time, & finally seeing the bigger picture has me a little more hopeful for the future.

[betweentheracks]

Hello and yay for this blog!!! I have a question :D. If a certain Chinese star were to wear jeans that say "my cock is gluten free" and "pull me down and fuck me," do you think his stylist would have chosen this knowingly, or do you think it's possible they just were like "hmm english words looks good" and didn't bother to look up the meaning? If they did know the meaning, would they have likely informed the star? Very desperate for the thought process behind this Choice hehehe. Thank you!

Ah, I was wondering hoping if I would get asked about those infamous jeans and here you are!

First and foremost; the following is all speculation from my experiences in the business and is wholly subjective. 

It isn’t impossible that they weren’t aware of what was written on the jeans, but it also isn’t all that likely either. When you pull up these jeans on the Dsquared2 site there’s a listing of what is doodled and written on the jeans and it’s not something that would be overlooked by neither stylist nor client. 

That said, Yibo does know some English and while he may not have known these words exactly, there’s more than enough ways of discerning their meaning. I would also bet half a year of my salary that his stylist would have known what was written here, or any number of personnel that works with them for that matter. I would also take into consideration that even if the jeans had slipped by all these people that may or may not have had the ability to see what was all over them, some of Yibo’s fellow idols should have (looking at you specifically, Seungyoun).

Setting this aside for a moment, I’ll go into who I think is responsible for the jeans being worn to begin with - Wang Yibo himself is the likely culprit. 

Why do I think this? There’s many reasons but most are inconsequential while two points frame the scene as I see it. 

This is markedly not a choice a stylist would make. Stylists, at the end of it all, are employees and therefore it shouldn’t be too surprising to know we have rules in place we must abide no matter if we are working outside the purview of the company we are housed under. Even when we work exclusively with a client, we are still taking the name of our company as well as our own with us and are operating as an extension of the brand the company promotes and promises. I don’t know of any company here (and I live in rather free faring place which welcomes eccentricities, mind) that would allow these jeans to be submitted as part of a pitch to either buy or borrow unless they were very specifically in line with a client’s public image and style. Technically these jeans would classify as offensive and profane which means they would invite trouble and cause a stir. While stylists are not associated much with the PR side of things we are still essentially a team playing for the same client - this selection, if gone badly, would be like asking for lightning to strike twice in one place at the same time. If a scandal amounted from them PR would have to handle it and that means the stylist would come under fire for making such a bold and risky choice, most especially with a younger client that thus far didn’t have the sort of image one would think to associate with jeans such as these. 

The second reason is that, from what I can tell, this is in line with Yibo’s personality. He’s very serious about style and engages with it as he does most things; by overtaking it completely and rebranding it to suit him to the point that it makes one wonder if the style wasn’t designed with him in mind. He makes full use of what fashion is all about at it’s core; expression. These jeans in particular would have suited the Yibo of the time he wore them (2018, if I remember right?) as he was trying to break away from the image he held as a pretty boy with demure and soft looks which held the shock value of being in such contrast with his dancing and rapping. He’s mentioned before that he doesn’t really like being “cute/sy” and having to do things in the way of that since it’s not true to who he feels he is. Which, honestly, a lot of idols and stars go through this experience where they no longer wish to be constrained by the persona they play for the public and one of the most impactful means of going about it is to address the styling since it is the focal point of public image. 

The Dsquared2 jeans don’t only say “my cock is gluten free,” there’s actually quite a lot to them and I think it would help if more were aware of it so here’s the description of them on the website: 

D Squared Limited Edition Jeans. Sexy Twist Printed Low Rise. Fun, Evil Boy, Love Sucks, Pull Me Down, Open Me, Unzip, Buttons, Wine Is My Water, Tic Tac Toe, Dean & Dan, Sex, Gluten Free Cock, Hot Patches

The jeans actually say “pull me down and fuck me” right there on the ass, but naturally they can’t list the expletives in the marketing. Not strictly important to this post, but still worth mentioning given the hushed treatment of what the placement of such words could easily imply and the effect that could have had. 

Anyway, the bit that is very telling in my opinion is that “evil boy” tag. I’m not terribly certain due to having never been fortunate enough to work with these jeans myself and the internet only has so many pictures from so many angles, but “evil boy” is either written somewhere (which I think is the case since there’s devil horns present as well) or they’re being promoted as such for aesthetic value. Regardless, I am fairly certain this would be the feature which caught Yibo’s eye. It’s on brand for someone seeking to shatter the conceptual ideal of being naive, innocent, youthful, or soft.

The jeans as a whole fit with Yibo’s sense of humor, as I’ve seen it at least. He lost his mind and fell into full laughter and hysterics over a dick joke, not even minding that he was being filmed or anything. He was still laughing about it even after the other hosts had moved beyond it, making them circle back around to it and in turn making it all the more hilarious for him to enjoy. You can see it clearly in the bts footage from the CQL set that he enjoys being mischievous and stirring things up and having a good time. 

This is who he is, I believe, and it makes a lot of sense for him to have made this stylistic choice and then either convince his stylist to let him run with it or change out at the last second. Both of these are possible, though one of them is less probable than the other given how tricky it actually would be to sneak a wardrobe alteration past the many people that make up the staffing roster for any events, and then to be able to change in the limited time frame available between exiting the dressing room to being in the public sphere would be one in a thousand. Much simpler to goad your stylist into being lenient enough to give you free reign over your own styling - we can only hold out and say no when the grounds for it are met, which this wouldn’t have done in all likelihood - and most of the time we build up a good enough relationship and rapport with clients that we end up doting on them a bit and heed their requests when we can.

That’s all from me on this token moment in Yibo’s very stacked fashion history. Thanks for asking!

Furthermore, there’s the third possibility that this wasn’t a styling choice whatsoever. Or at least not one that involved the stylist in any real regard. It is very plausible that this was just Yibo in his own clothes, having dressed down after the main events wound down. I’ve never actually watched to see what that night looked like overall, but from the videos I have seen it looked to me like the actual do had passed and they were all just goofing around and having their own dance competitions and such when he was wearing them. I can’t say for sure that he did or did not have them on for the whole thing or if they were his own self packed casual wear. In which case it would fall back to his studio to tend to since stylists generally don’t hold authority over personal clothing choices and only ever have a hand in it when it is expressly stated in contracts or temporary clauses, and it just isn’t too common anymore. 

Worth a quick mention for means of distinction, here in the US this choice wouldn't have raised many eyebrows no matter if it was chosen by an artist or a stylist. The only reason I feel it necessary to say this is simply because this is not so in China and that alone lends context to the controversy of these jeans. In the scope of conservatism these jeans are outrageous and I think that a stylist would steer clear of utilizing them at all if they value their job. This is why I don't consider it likely at all that Yibo and his stylist collaborated to make use of these jeans as a way to shake away the remnants of his pretty boy aesthetic.

[admirableadmiranda]

Thank you so much for your wonderful answers....🤩

First of all, sorry if I'm bothering you with my ask, please ignore it if you don't want to answer it.....It's just that you are the second person from all of the people that I ask (and from other people's asks, that I found) that loved SVSSS more than TGCF....And it's very interesting....

If you don't mind me asking (again), can I ask, who are your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from SVSSS? And why? And what are your top 5 fav moments from the novel? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks.....

That is very interesting. I'm sure there's a few others like me, SVSSS definitely has its fans and it and TGCF are very tonally different.

Oooh now I get to remember everyone! That'll be fun!

1.) Shen Qingqiu/Shen Yuan/Shizun. Hands down my favorite. He's so sassy and witty and I feel like he'd be a blast to talk to after he got the ranting about PIDW out of his system. He's charming and funny and I don't get why people aren't charmed by him too and would prefer his original body's host over him. He's just such a sweetie once you get past the tsun-tsun.

2.) Zhuzhi-lang. Snakey-boy! I enjoyed him and his loyalty every time he popped up. I always feel sad when many characters that are loyal to the first person that was kind to them show up because usually it's used to show them how that trust was misled and abused. But with him it isn't really so much. Both Shizun and Tianlang-jun are kind to him and don't abuse him (much). I hope he has a happily ever after with more kind people in his life.

3.) Luo Binghe. Our little white lotus who manages to avoid blackening by falling for his teacher. I love his struggles, I love the person he grows up to be, I love that he has his eyes fixed forwards and does not look away or give up on what he wants. I am also kind of a sucker for characters who would rather die with their lover than live on alone. Yes, it's very tragic, but sometimes you just want a good tragedy and he would be the hero of the best tragedy. Thank god for the system, amiright?

4.) Ning Yingying. I don't know why she's so high up, but I love this sweet girl with a spunky core that comes out as the story changes a hell of a lot. She doesn't have a lot of screentime or heavy character, but she makes me smile and laugh and I like her development into being a cool shijie in her sect and growing up to be helpful and wiser than she would have been in the original story. She's just fun.

5.) Liu Qingge. I didn't adore him at first, but I'm warming up to him a lot on my reread. There's just something about beautiful man who can and will fuck up your day because you insulted someone they care about that's very appealing. As well as he's easily one of the most determined characters in the book, which is saying something! I'm looking forwards to seeing him more as I reread.

As for my top favorite moments...even though it's shorter than MDZS and especially TGCF, I bet I can find five moments I really love pretty easily.

1.) Shizun's first time mixing his energies with Binghe to stop him from losing control and the fallout from that. It's a very dramatic turning point. It shows how far he would actually go when pushed, gives Binghe a very dramatic understanding of his Shizun that he did not have (even if it's very painful) and fundamentally alters the story in a way that cannot be understated. Literally everyone in the story is fundamentally changed by that action. His students grow up, his martial siblings are united, his white lotus is never the same after that moment and even the enemies are caught off guard by such an act. It is literally world turning and I cannot overstate how much I love moments like that. No one is unaffected.

2.) The whole mausoleum chase. At this point we know how much Binghe cares for and what he would do to protect Shizun, but here we see it the other way around. Binghe is in no state to fight his way through, they are vastly outmatched by an enemy they cannot hope to win against but the absolute last thing he would do is leave Binghe behind. It is Shizun's second act of ardent devotion, by the end of it, he is battered and bruised and wounded and at the end of his rope, but he will not let Binghe be hurt or left behind. And of course we have a coffin scene, which is just lovely.

3.) Papapa to save the world. I'm sure by now you've noticed a trend in my favorite moments...A third great act of love and this one unlike the others is not guided by desperation in the same way. Binghe is in a bad state, but they are alone, they are not being chased or hunted by anyone else in the moment. He just wants to help the man he can admit to himself that he's fallen in love with in the only way that he can think of, stop him from being controlled by this sword any longer. It isn't a pleasant scene for them, but I don't get the feeling that he regrets what he's doing at all, only that the inner romantic in him didn't think this is how everything would go down. If this is what will help him save Binghe, he will do it. And it works, after a fashion anyway.

4.) The deep dream record extra. It's sad, wistful, a little funny and full of Shizun just adoring Binghe and being sad for what he missed and what he went through, and then ends with him initiating intimacy of his own accord. A shorter moment than the rest of them, but I like how it shows that they are continuing to build a relationship that makes them happy.

5.) Bing-mei and Bing-ge's climactic showdown! The price, one Shizun- who will win this fight of evenly matched jealous men? It's just tons of fun and I enjoy Binghe getting to let loose and beat up someone for daring to try and hurt his Shizun for once with no consequences.

Thank you so much for the asks! I hope you've enjoyed my ramblings. Feel free to drop more if you wish. My inbox is always open.

[the-amalgam-house]

I'm trying to figure out how to parse this...

I feel like Toby is really a true return to myself. I didn't become Toby in name until my late 20's, but Toby didn't feel like deadname for a very long time.

Somehow in there, deadname had to be everything that was expected of her, and Toby was too afraid to exist loudly...so Toby and deadname split, and deadname was the host for that period of time where we were trying so hard to be perfect.

I think deadname was an alter. Not in the way that my own name hadn't once been deadname, but that deadname took on the entirety of that name to form herself. This is what everyone expected of her, what they dreamed FOR her, what THEY wanted is what SHE wanted, though even then it didn't make us happy.

I am beginning to feel that I'm on the right track in this, like in my gut. That one of the reasons we dissociated and got locked into maladaptive daydreaming was because we were having a many years long conflict on who can and cannot be seen, who should and should not interact with others, what our path SHOULD be vs what we WANTED it to be.

I am the core, but despite how shy and afraid and unsure she was, she was the one who stepped up when I was repressed. She found whatever solace we could in church, she still believed that there was a lot of good to be found there, she figured being quiet and obedient in the times where any of us were even a little present in life would be the answer to all our problems. My deadname was a gift to me from my parents that I outgrew, but it was HER entire identity.

I believe that the stress of trying to be perfect on top of losing faith in something very core to her being, on TOP of having her goals born of expectation instead of passion being shattered...I think it was too much for her. I think it's what ultimately killed her. While we did share the same name it was she that took on all that burden most of all, to spare me from it. I can barely remember anything from my teens to young adulthood. I only started really coming back around when I hit college, but she made a huge push back for several years. Up until the blood clots Incident. That one was a huge push, and she started to slowly fade.

I can't say I didn't feel ANY of the burden or loss. I do have some of those memories scattered here and there, since I was never completely gone, just buried. But she tried so fucking hard to be everything that everyone else wanted her to be. She tried SO FUCKING HARD to be someone who could help everyone but herself. And I get that. She couldn't help herself and she was falling deeper and deeper into the abyss.

I was the one who decided to get help. I'd just let myself be buried for so long, I missed so much in life because we both thought the best thing would be to allow us to fully become deadname. But when I started therapy, when I started re-emerging outside of the expectations of my parents...

I think she was relieved to be able to finally rest. Maybe we were both two cores in one body. It feels different than with the others. She was as much me as she wasn't. Like a fusion falling apart and one of the two passing away. She was so tired, and we didn't yet know that we all existed, much less how to work together. She did absolutely everything she could to try and save whatever we thought we SHOULD be and never explored what she COULD be.

Her name was Melissa.

[currentlylurking]

Phic Phight: Good Parents

Maddie Fenton nearly kills her son trying to take down Phantom. Jack Fenton nearly kills him again, trying to tear the ghost from him.

Clockwork, one of the most powerful ghosts in existence, is tired of the people he cares about getting hurt.

(Based on a Phic Phight 2020 prompt by @five-rivers)

(WC: 2534)

Good Parents

At 10:13 am yesterday morning, Maddie Fenton had shot her son.

She hadn’t meant to – no. She had meant to. She had meant to shoot Danny Phantom.

She hadn’t known he was Danny Fenton. She hadn’t known. She never would have shot her son if she had known.

At 7:07 pm, after the secret had been spilled and the ectoranium bullet extracted, Danny had been tired. He’d been so tired. He’d promised he’d wanted to tell them since he became ‘half ghost’ when he was fourteen. He’d promised he loved them. Always had, always would.

Jack had promised that he always would, too. Then he put his son under anaesthetic and set out to remove that ectoplasmic mutation that had ruined Danny’s life.

At 7:47 pm, Danny’s heart had stopped. They got it started again and continued to work on removing the mutation.

At 7:59 pm, it happened again. And then the world froze.

It was a strange sensation. Neither of them could breathe or move their eyes, but Maddie and Jack were still very much alive. From the scowl on the face of the ghost that appeared in their lab, that had been intentional. Blue skin and a scarred red eye looked at them with absolute, utter disdain.

They would make note, later, that not everything had been frozen – their inner ears still registered vibrations, because they both clearly heard the ghost speak.

“How dare you?” it said.

And then it took their son and disappeared. It left them there, frozen, for hours.

But when they could move again, it was still only 7:59.

.-.

Maddie and Jack were good parents. They loved their kids. They provided for them. Of course they made mistakes – what parent hadn’t? What mattered was they tried.

Like any good parent, they’d do anything to protect their kids - even traverse the uncharted land of the dead. Their radar led them to crooked tower that looked long abandoned, with thorny brambles and ivy holding the door shut. They were no match for the Fenton Foamer, though.

Jack stomped on the dying remains of the ghost plants, which expressed ectoplasmic vibrations that sounded like a scream. They didn’t actually scream, of course: not only were they plants, but they were also ghosts. They couldn’t feel pain.

Maddie reached over to assist her husband as he wrapped his hands around the handle of an old iron door. “Jack, careful!” She said and stepped back as he yanked the handle off the door. It’d been rusted through. “Step back, I’ll handle this.” She balanced the bazooka on her shoulder.

The bazooka froze on her shoulder.

The island around them shifted and smeared, and when Maddie and Jack blinked, they were no longer outside – and they were no longer armed. They stood in a circular sitting room, in front of two tartan chairs. Huge brass bells hung from the ceiling, and a network of gears covered the only doorway. Their large weapons were gone, and in front of a huge mirror which took up the entire opposing wall, was the ghost who’d stolen their son.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t destroy my home,” it said.

“You!” Maddie screamed, and pulled a wrist ray from her jumpsuit. The ectoblast hit the ghost in the chest and it curled in on itself with a short gasp of pain.

Then it disappeared.

“I believe ‘don’t shoot your host’ is the first rule of being a good guest.” It was behind them now – Maddie and Jack turned slowly, and watched it fly over to the mirror. “Regardless, that was a duplicate. As am I. You’re only hurting yourselves if you insist on continuing this.”

“Where’s Danny?” Jack demanded.

“What have you done to our boy?” Maddie added. She kept her wristray trained on the ticking clock in the ghost’s torso.

“He’s asleep in his room,” the ghost said, and gestured to the mirror. The reflection faded to a green swirl, and a new vision appeared: Danny, in a warmly lit stone room, asleep on a sterile bed. Their incisions had been stitched up with bright blue sutures and bandaged with a translucent layer of ectoplasm. The ghost floated beside him. He brushed black hair from Danny’s face and replaced a damp cloth on his forehead.

“Let him go,” Maddie said, and fired a shot into the ghost’s back. It disappeared. The version on the other side of the mirror didn’t react. “Let him go! Who do you think you are?!”

The ghost returned, a scowl on it’s face. “I am Clockwork, the Master of Time, and Danny’s new guardian.”

Jack scoffed. “He’s our son!”

“Yes. And you nearly killed him.” Clockwork said. The scowl deepened, and the ghost bared fangs. “Several times over, you have almost killed your son. The accidents and unwitting attempts to kill you son by attacking his ghost half, I could excuse. He begged me to. He promised that if you knew the full consequences of your actions you would not hurt him.” It gestured sharply to the scene, and nearly smashed a fist into the mirror. “And you proved him wrong.” Clockwork took a sharp, growling breath in before it turned its back to Maddie and Jack. “He is not your son anymore.”

In the mirror, Danny stirred. His eyelids fluttered, and he squinted. “Clockwork?” His voice was so weak.

“I’m here, Danny,” both versions of Clockwork said, “I’m right here.”

Danny gave a soft groan, and he raised a shaking hand to his chest. He touched his stiches. Clockwork gently took his wrist and guided his hand away.

“They…” Danny’s voice cracked. “I told them, and they – they –”

“I know,” Clockwork whispered. “I’m sorry. We made a promise Danny, remember? Just for now.” The one on the other side of the mirror summoned a small glass with a straw. The one in front of Jack and Maddie summoned two paper cups.

“Yeah,” Danny whispered, and when Clockwork held the straw to his lips he took a long drink. The scene faded, and the mirror was a mirror once more.

The Clockwork in front of Maddie and Jack turned around – and took a shot to the core.

Another appeared in its place and caught the paper cups. “Within these cups is a Miamenso Draught. When you drink it, you will forget that you have a son. You will have no more than a passing familiarity with Danny – as he now has with you.”

“You drugged our son?!” Maddie shouted.

“We Fentons don’t take anything from ghosts!” Jack said at the same time. “You’ll have to force it down our –”

“Jack,” Maddie said. She shook her head. Jack shut his mouth.

“I won’t force anyone to do anything,” Clockwork said. “That is against my nature. And besides, I made a promise to Danny.” It waved a hand, and table appeared between the chairs Maddie and Jack had not sat in. The cups appeared on it a moment later. “I believe that everything should be a choice, and that everyone deserves a second chance. Even with all you have done, I will grant you that.”

Maddie scoffed. “You listen to me, you putrid manifestation of post human consciousness! You will not take my son from me! Give Danny back, right now, or –”

“Or you’ll shoot me again, I presume?” Clockwork said, deadpan. Maddie shot it.

A new Clockwork appeared a second later. Jack reached back, grabbed one of the cups, and flung the purple liquid in its face. It blinked, then turned intangible.

“I am a duplicate,” it said, and waved a hand at the puddle that had been left behind. It glowed blue. “I don’t have an individual mind to be altered. In addition, a Miamenso Draught must be consumed to be effective.” Telekinetically, the puddle was returned to the paper cup in Jack’s hand. “Would you like to assault me some more, or would you rather hear about how you can get your son back?”

Jack, slowly, lowered the cup. Maddie bit her lip. They both stayed silent.

“Very good.” Clockwork reached a hand back and brushed gloved fingertips against the mirror. The reflection shifted to a still of their lab. “These conditions were agreed upon ahead of time. You will be given a specific time frame to complete each one. If you complete them, then I will administer a Miakoro Draught and restore Danny’s memories. If you fail, or find that Danny’s conditions are too much to ask, then you must take the Miamenso. Understood?”

Maddie and Jack continued to stay silent.

Clockwork rolled its eyes. It continued, “The first condition: you must destroy every one of your ghost hunting weapons.”

“No.” Maddie said.

“Then take the Miamenso Draught and forget your son was ever born.” Clockwork snapped. It had to take a moment to regain its false composure. “You must destroy all blueprints and finished creations within your possession. The portal is exempt from this, as is your Spector Speeder, on the condition you can remove and destroy its weapon system. Nothing else is. You have until this Saturday at 2:13 pm exactly to do this and return here to inform me. Then you will learn of Danny’s next condition. Is that understood?”

“You won’t get away with this,” Maddie snapped.

“Danny’s a smart kid,” Jack added, “Just as smart as the rest of us! He’ll know something’s missing.”

“All the more reason to fulfil your end of this quickly,” Clockwork said. “Do you understand. Yes or no.”

Maddie glared.

Clockwork glared right back.

“Yes,” Jack said.

Maddie’s jaw dropped as she stared at her husband in utter disbelief.

“Good,” Clockwork said. “Now get out of my house.”      

Just as before, their vision twisted and smeared. Instead of the room, they were back outside, dying ectoplants under their boots. However, there was a deep groove in the island, and the tower was gone.

Maddie crossed her arms. “Jack, why did you agree to that?” She demanded. “We are not destroying our life’s work just because a ghost told us too! There has to be another way to get Danny back.”

“Maddie, no,” Jack said quickly. He had a devious grin – Maddie lowered her arms. “That ghost just said we had to get rid of the ones in our possession! We could go home, write up a fake bill of sale and give ‘em to Vladdie. He’ll give them back once this is all done!”

“Oh. Oh,” Maddie threw her arms around him, “Jack, you’re a genius! Come on, let’s go – the sooner we get our boy back, the sooner we can make sure this never happens again.”

.-.

Clockwork felt the duplicate disperse, and took a deep, calming breath in.

It didn’t help. He was still furious.

He looked down at the boy in front of him, sleeping once more. Danny had his face scrunched up in pain – as far as he knew, a Miamenso Draught was not a pleasant thing to drink. Thankfully, that was all theoretical, not practical knowledge. He had never had one himself.

He truly, genuinely wished, that he hadn’t had to give one to Danny.

Clockwork reached over and brushed a lock of hair from Danny’s face. The boy needed a haircut. Even with the longer hair framing his face a bit differently, it didn’t change the facts: Danny barely looked fourteen, let alone like the almost seventeen year old he should be. Clockwork wished he could just dismiss that as a coincidence, but he knew better than to put any stock in that. Danny was a child ghost, and when in unsafe environments, there were two paths child ghosts were likely to take. Either they aged in quick, sporadic bursts, or they simply didn’t age.

Danny, as much as Clockwork hated to admit it and Danny refused to, was very clearly the latter. By now, half his allies had likely told him the same thing, and offered him refuge. Danny would have turned them all down, as he had turned down Clockwork.

He had had so much faith in his parents, and how they’d love him no matter what. While Clockwork had seen the Timelines where the reveal had gone this bad, Danny’s conviction had been infectious. He loved his parents. He wouldn’t tolerate anyone else insulting them, as true as the insults may be.

And he had not set any real conditions in the event that this exact thing happened. He had not believed that Maddie and Jack would ever hurt Phantom if they knew he was a Fenton. His sister had begged Danny to come up with at least a vague suggestion for what their parents would have to do, and Danny had refused.

Clockwork sighed once again, and finally lowered his hand. He’d contacted Jasmine, and she, Sam, and Tucker were on their way – in the meantime, Jasmine put the decision of what Maddie and Jack would have to do to get their son back in his hands. He had some ideas, but he could see the timeline unfolding in front of him. He would not let these willful child murderers twist his intentions to their benefit. Their next challenge would be to swear off ghost hunting permanently. Danny would not be returning to a house filled with weapons. After that, perhaps they could spend some time getting to know their son’s allies. If they even made it that far.

Beside him, Danny stirred, and Clockwork immediately refocused on him. It should have taken another hour for the Miamenso Draught to take effect – but, of course, hybrid biology appeared to complicate things once again. He settled down at the edge of Danny’s bed.

“Danny?” He asked gently, “Can you hear me?”

Danny groaned, and he slowly forced his eyes open. He closed them again a second later. “Ugh. Dad, what happened?”

Clockwork’s core heaved. He glanced back for any hint of orange that could be confusing the boy – there were none. Only the muted purples and dark blues of his tower.

When he looked back, Danny was trying to sit up. “Please don’t do that,” Clockwork said, and softly pressed Danny back to the bed. “How do you feel?”

“Bad,” Danny said. Clockwork smiled. “It feels like I swallowed a bunch of sand.”

“Would you like some water?” Clockwork asked, and removed the damp cloth. It had bits of frost on the edges – finally, a good sign.

Danny nodded. Then he closed his eyes and winced in pain. “Yeah,” he whispered, “yeah. Thanks, Dad.”

Clockwork kept his face carefully neutral. “You’re welcome.”

“Love you.”

“…I love you, too.”

Clockwork turned, left, and let the emotionless mask drop. A Miamenso Draught did not create new memories – but the mind was a tenacious thing, and it would fill in the blanks left with whatever made sense. For this to be happening now – for Danny’s unconscious mind to decide that Clockwork was his father – Danny had to have felt this way for a long time. Clockwork knew the boy liked him, and he certainly cared about Danny in turn, but this…

He felt ashamed to say that it made him happier than he’d been in a long, long time.

***

Mia Menso: My Mind in Esperanto Mia Koro: My Heart in Esperanto

Actual prompt: Clockwork gets sick of how Jack and Maddie treat Danny and spirits him away.  Jack and Maddie have to prove to Clockwork that they'll do better by completing his challenges.  Whether or not they succeed is up to you.  (Bonus: Clockwork does something to Danny so he no longer recognizes Jack and Maddie when he sees them in order to make sure Jack and Maddie have to follow through.)

This could’ve been a full-fledged fic so easily y’all have NO idea. I have a plot for it and everything. Send help.

[kaypeace21]

do you think it’s possible sarah (hoppers daughter) was an early-formed alter that went dormant before the events of season one? it’d make a lot of sense with how much of hoppers arc in season one was him mourning her and channeling that grief into protecting will (which would make sense since he seems like a protecter to both will and el). love your posts!☺️

Yep . :D

I already discussed all of this in the original did post - how sarah was a “little” (kid ) alter. And how hopper was a protector /introject alter. I also discussed her going dormant as a major possibility in my did theory. My assumption is she either (a) “became dormant” like some alters do- aka they are “gone” sometimes for many years but can return . And this can happen in a myriad of ways - sometimes alters go dormant after they had a simulated death in the inner world . theoretically sarah had such a Death. And so did El. Death isn’t really a permanent thing for alters ...they usually will come back or stay dormant - unless the body of the host dies (or they integrate) . They can’t really die . I think it’s very possible she comes back and Hopper while exploring the various innerworlds of Will’s minds (like the Russian one, the memory scapes , etc ) reunites/ finds her . look at the st s4 movie inspirations. In ‘what dreams may come”  a guy with the guidance of his dead kid explore a heaven like world influenced by a painter’s emotions.We also have the movie ‘inside out’ -which involves “memory islands” (distinct worlds based on a child’s memories) which are influenced negatively by the kid being depressed she moved to California. The characters traveling to these memory islands are constructs of  kid’s mind -and 1 of them also has a guide helping them explore the ‘memory islands’. in  Inception a guy says he’s a construct of a guy’s mind and needs to help him escape the many different Ievels of the dream worlds.The in inception who made the worlds- had dad issues. 'the cell’also had alternate dimensions of a man's mind that a cop explored ( the dimensions were created by a man who was ab*sed by his dad). Movies like inception, matrix, Truman show, total recall, the cell, enter the void, wizard of oz, Peter Pan, hellraiser 2, dream warriors, bill & ted’s bogus journey, and welcome to marwen  also allude to this: because they involve entering simulated abstract worlds usually created/based on happy& traumatic memories/fears.Cough s4 using the movie wizard of oz quote “we’re not in Hawkins (kansas) anymore.While truman show/matrix are more about realizing your reality isn’t real.in bladerunner 2044/total recall it has the theme of false implanted memories… probably relating to hopper realizing he’s an alter and not in “actual Russia.” Before seeing the other segments of the innerworlds with sarah. Like in total recall- the bad ass spy is told all his memories: his wife/ years of marriage,  , his name, are just implanted memories. And she says “you’re life is a dream.” 

In s2 Nancy asks Steve how his “grandpa’s time in the war is a metaphor for your life?” And steve compares the mf to the germans in the war. Dr owens mentions Will has ptsd like “ (vietnam) soldiers’, Hopper saying he had buddies like Will . “In the 70s there was a study that compared the post-traumatic stress symptoms in Vietnam veterans and adult survivors of childhood s**ual ab*se. The study revealed that childhood s**ual ab*se is traumatizing and can result in symptoms comparable to symptoms from war-related trauma.” Hopper isn’t actually in Russia -but in one of the innerworlds (after he jumped through the rift of the machine- into Will’s mind). We’ll see flashbacks but also present circumstances of his imprisonment echo Will’s past with Lonnie (if the movies indicate anything)- being starved, guards getting payed in order to let other prisoners  r*pe a gay prisoner (than claim incorrectly because of his sexuality he wanted it) , as well as a gang of sadist men who r**e others and a warden using that as a threat to be compliant , being thrown in a dark room of solitary confinement and starved when they didn’t obey the warden, the warden being religious, etc. And the Anerican soldiers (in Vietnam) in the movies aren’t much better and do similarly horrific acts to civilians like r**e and bragging/ happily k*lling women, children, and the elderly. The drill sergant in vietnam calling them homophobic slurs & women, and chocking one of the soldiers with one hand, slapping one for not believing in christianity. Tying up a soldier in a bed , gagging him, beating him and saying “remember it’s just a dream.” Only praising them when good in fire arms.(movies : fullmetal jacket, papillon, shawshank redemption, platoon, welcome to marwen, etc ) . My assumption is  flashbacks of his life- will hint he’s an alter of Will’s-the boxes in the basement are “vietnam” ,“dad”, and “ny” (and these are the memories of his we’ll see). And some of the bad characters in said stories will also parallel Lonnie . For instance in s2, Jonathan mentions Indiana writer Vonnegut- In his book ‘slaughterhouse 5′- Vonnegut begins the story of Billy Pilgrim, a man who has “come unstuck in time”. It accounts of Billy Pilgrim's capture and incarceration by the Germans during the last years of World War II, and scattered throughout the narrative are episodes from Billy's life with his dad, and his own wife and kids.Billy is forced to be part of the war and similar things against his free will. The moments start from his childhood when his father throws him in the water to teach him how to swim. He was unwillingly drafted into the war. Later, he is kidnapped by Tralfamadorians  (aliens that are implied to be caused by his mental health issues/trauma) against his will. Therefore, he realizes that this concept is just an illusion.

  And some of the bad characters in said stories will also parallel Lonnie . Like how in ‘peterpan’- the young girl Wendy imagines netherland and the villain -captain hook- is based off her father ( in the movie they have the same voice actors/while in all stage productions the 2 characters are always played by the same actor). Similar to the other s4 film- ‘wizard of oz’ where the wicked witch of th west from the mythical land of Oz (is played by Dorothy’s real life mean neighbor in the real world/kansas). Or ‘in the cell’- every villain from the alternate-mind- dimensions is played by same actor in diff makeup. Not sure if they’d use Ross Patridge (actor of Lonnie) in this way . But it would be very interesting if (In makeup) Ross played many negative people in Hopper’s life/past -as a way to show Will’s past tr*uma.

Like also-look at Sarah’s tiger plushie! In chinese mythology/culture: “The tiger is personified by the constellation Orion (interesting given Sara’s interest in space/blackholes). The tiger represents protection over human life (hmm?). Tiger charms were used to keep away evil and disease (that’s awful ironic if she died in the manner she did). In Buddhism, wearing tiger skins during meditations was believed to bring protection from spiritual interference and potential harm while exploring astral dimensions.” HMMMMMMMMM  XD

Kali in the stranger things novel ‘Suspicious Minds’ says…

“I was named after a goddess. She wore a tiger skin and was fierce in battle.”

Then Kali says to Alice (a women who can see future visions): “I love you, Alice. We can be tigers together.”This parallel (in relation to Alice) is fascinating because Kali actually uses her powers to fake Alice’s death- and to trick Dr. Brenner, and allow Alice to escape. The allusion was so realistic, that Terry could even touch the ‘dead’ Alice.

So the tiger symbolism could be a HUGE hint- that Sarah’s death was simulated and she’ll come back and travel the innerworlds/alternate dimensions of Will’s mind (as Hopper’s guide). Hopper about sarah “galaxies the universe-she always understood that stuff.”

Another possibility (theory b) is she integrated with another alter or with Will (which means she can’t return) .Hopper saying about Sarah “the black hole it got her.” Could imply she integrated with the mf/shadow monster? And ,or maybe she will later ?

But... I lean heavily to theory (a) the most , though.

Obviously sarah has a lot of the connections to Will. will and Sarah both being into science, Sarah winning a spelling bee, Will winning the science fair, both being connected to tigers. Both hallucinating something no one else can see and people trying to snap the 2 out of what they’re viewing. Joyce saying as a witch she’ll eat Will. Parallels Hopper saying as an ogre he’ll eat sarah. Hopper, in s1, when seeing Will (with a vine in his mouth) has a flashback of Sarah on a mouth respirator. And he also has a flashback of Sarah when seeing Will’s lion plushie which resembled Sarah’s tiger plushie. And el also had a lion plushie-like Will’s in s1. Hopper monitored both Will and Sarah at the hospital when they were “dying”. Will has a fear of clowns- and Sarah’s hospital gown had clowns on them. All 3 kids draw.

Plus, we all know the parallels of Will to El (Hopper’s new daughter).

I discussed in my did theory that Hopper (as an adult alter) is a form of protector to all the kid alters - el, Sarah, and Will (host/core). And Hopper as an introject-alter (who are alters based on a person the child knows ) are usually put in the system cause the kid assumes that person could protect them . And since original-Hopper was a police man (a little kid could easily assume that). Although, because he’s a “father figure” for the system he has some of Lonnie’s traits- which are reflected in other perpetrator alters/ bad npcs in the system- Brenner, Neil, Billy, the evil’s Russians,etc . So sometimes he acts similar to a Perpetrator alter too . And I listed those examples/bad parallels extensively in the original did post (linked in the beginning).

And I used these quotes from psych papers in my original did post to pretty much sum up Hopper’s use in Will’s system .

“Introjects can also be based off of  figures that the dissociative child found strong, courageous, heroic, or otherwise worthy of being emulated and internalized and could theoretically protect them.”

“Older adult alters are created to serve a nurturing or parenting role, thus serving as a protector. (*protecting Will/el) . However, sometimes their older age is related to taking on the identification of the ab*ser and can therefore take on any of the other more hostile roles too ... Introjects which are mimicking ab*sers are trying to "keep you inline" in order to protect you from external ab*sers. They are copying behaviors shown to them by bad people, not harboring the intent, s*dism or imm*rality of the actual perpetrators.”

I think it pretty much sums up the nuances and motivations of Hopper’s character.

Thanks for the ask, anon :)

[delimeful]

my virtues uncounted (3)

warnings: blood, injury, arguing, panic, remus mentions

continuation of the “Light Sides are tiny in the Subconscious” verse! Part one here, and part two here! Ao3 Link

-

Patton wandered over to the edge of the desk, away from where Roman and Logan were discussing approximately where they were in the Mindscape and how they could escape Anxiety’s room.

Anxiety himself had retreated to sit on the corner of his bed, leaving them on the desk. He looked awfully casual, but Patton could see the way he glanced over out of the corner of his eye every couple seconds. 

He sat on the edge of the desk, remembering how the other Side had fretted over Roman’s imaginary injury. He squinted at Anxiety. Had he treated the cut on his hand yet? Patton hadn’t seen him do anything of the sort, and his left hand was conspicuously tucked away into his pocket.

Well, if they were going to be staying there a while, it would be best to get to know their host better, wouldn’t it? 

Mind made up, Patton popped back up to his feet, and jogged over to the edge of a shelf. Carefully, he began to sidle along it, carefully not looking down as he got closer and closer to the bed. 

Just when he was almost over it- 

“Patton! What are you doing?” Roman yelled, and Patton jumped slightly, tilting forwards a bit. 

“Uhhhh,” Patton replied as he pinwheeled his arms, trying and failing to keep his balance.  “Woah!”

Only a blink after he toppled over, however, there was a dark presence at his side, a hand providing a soft landing point only inches below the shelf. 

“Oof,” he grunted, and then a gust of warm air rustled his hair from above. He craned his head back to look at Anxiety, who was sighing lowly in relief. 

“Unhand him, villain!” Roman cried from out of sight, and Patton felt the hand underneath him twitch slightly with tension before going lax again. He frowned, getting to his feet to stand and look over at his friend.

“Roman, don’t be rude!” he chided, struggling to stay upright on the surprisingly soft hand. He ended up sitting back down heavily, and craned his neck to look at the Dark Side. “Thank you, Anxiety.” 

He was treated to the sight of Anxiety’s eyes growing wide in a rare moment of unguarded surprise, and smiled happily. If he’d known that the Side wasn’t really that scary, he would have come to visit ages ago!

Maybe not while so small, though. It seemed to be stressing Anxiety out.

“Wha- Patton! It’s not rude when he’s holding you captive!” Roman said, anger obvious in his voice. “Let him go!” 

“Anxiety seems to have caught Patton to keep him from falling,” Logan chimed in, stepping a bit closer as though trying to peer up at where he was being held. “I don’t think Patton has been in his hand long enough to qualify as being ‘captive’, Roman.”

“Yeah, listen to Logic for once, Roman.” Anxiety’s voice rumbled through Patton, the larger Side rolling his eyes and placing his hand down on the desk. Patton grinned and waved at the other two, not moving from his spot settled firmly in the dip of Anxiety’s palm. 

“Logan, c’mere! Check this out, it’s so cool!” 

Logan took a moment to look unblinkingly at Anxiety, analyzing him in a way that surely would have made him bristle defensively if he wasn’t already busy staring at Patton with befuddlement. Roman’s head was whipping back and forth between all three of them, as though waiting for someone to return to their senses.

“Very well.” Logan began to walk up to where Anxiety’s hand was resting, and Roman followed along with a slack-jawed expression, less intentionally and more because of some half-formed sputtering about not wanting to leave both the other Light Sides closer to Anxiety than him. 

Anxiety’s hand twitched slightly under him as Logan got closer, and Patton crossed his legs to better balance. He wondered how it felt to have a whole person in one hand. Probably a little scary, going by the slight tremors Anxiety was trying to stifle.

“Interesting,” Logan said from where he’d reached out to touch Anxiety’s wrist. With his other hand, he held two fingers to his neck. “Your heart rate appears to be much higher than mine despite you not having recently endured significant exercise. Is this normal for you?” 

“Duh. I’m the embodiment of fear,” Anxiety grumped, tilting his hand surprisingly gently so that Patton slid off onto the desk. He clicked his tongue, shaking his hand a bit to dislodge Logan’s grip. “Now stop that. I’m not a science experiment.” 

“Awww,” Patton pouted at the loss of his seat as Logan looked up at Anxiety with a confused tilt to his eyebrows. 

“Of course not. I was simply making an observation out of a desire to learn more about you.” 

Anxiety’s face pinched inwards as though he’d bitten into a lemon of suspicion. “Well, checking my pulse isn’t going to help you figure out my weaknesses, so how about you keep your hands to yourself.” 

This got a bark of not-laughter from Roman. “That’s rich coming from you, Grab-ston!” 

“Grabston?” Patton frowned in consternation as he attempted to figure out the wordplay on that one, and Anxiety’s scowl deepened. 

“Oh, you’d prefer I just watch you fall to your death next time? ‘Cuz rest assured, from that height, you’re guaranteed to splatter,” Anxiety grit out as he loomed over them, hand fisted at his sides.

“Is that a threat?!”

“Weaknesses? Learning more about others is my role,” Logan said, though seeing as the other two had escalated to near-shouting, it was spoken more to himself.

“Oh!” Patton clapped his hands together once. “Like Gaston! I get it.” 

“No, it’s not a threat, are you an idiot-!” Anxiety turned away sharply in dismissal, making Roman’s hands twitch for a sword that wasn’t there, and Patton’s eyes caught on a drop of something dark falling from one clenched hand.

“Anxiety! You’re bleeding,” he called out, his voice cutting through the lingering tension.

Anxiety looked down at his injured hand like he’d never seen it before. “... Yes?” 

“Aren’t you going to heal it?” Logan asked, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “There doesn’t seem to be much sense in keeping an injury around.” 

Patton nodded in agreement, but Anxiety seemed to be further confused by his words. “Heal it? What, like a superpower? It’s just a cut, not much to do for it but slap a bandage on.” 

The three Light Sides exchanged questioning glances, and Roman ran a hand through his hair with a groan. “Most Dark Sides can’t heal injuries instantly like us. They don’t have the power to alter the mindscape like that. Except my... brother.” 

Anxiety recoiled slightly. “You mean you guys go around pulling your ears off and shit for fun, too?”

Patton paled slightly at the thought, and Roman growled low in his throat. “No! We’re just more connected to Thomas, so it’s obvious that we’d be more powerful. We don’t go using it all willy nilly like him.” 

“Huh.” Anxiety shoved his hands back in his pockets, much to Patton’s dismay. “Perks of being a core Side, I guess.” 

“Hey!” Patton cried, making Anxiety’s eyes snap to him eerily quick. “Come back over here! You shouldn’t ignore injuries like that, mister! I’ll heal it for you.” 

“Patton, he’s literally imprisoning us here,” Roman groused halfheartedly. He knew Patton well enough to know that the father figure would not be deterred. 

Anxiety, on the other hand, was a bit more reluctant to concede. Patton had to coax him over like a startled deer, and only Roman’s snort finally propelled him to set his hand on the desk again, grimacing. 

Patton set a gentle hand on Anxiety’s thumb and focused on fixing the cut so that it would match the soft palm he had been sitting on earlier. 

Nothing happened. 

Patton frowned and focused harder, but the tug of change that he normally felt in his chest seemed somehow… muted. “Something’s wrong…” 

Logan, who had been watching closely, made an attempt of his own, likely more out of curiosity than actual concern for Anxiety’s injury. He swiped a hand over the cut, a gesture that would normally seal the injury easily, but all he got for his trouble was a hand soaked in blood and a pained twitch from Anxiety. 

“Very helpful,” The Dark Side commented dryly. Logan shook his hand with mild disgust on his face, like a cat that had stepped in snow.

Patton frowned harder, reaching for that connection inside of him, seeing if maybe something Thomas was doing was hindering them. 

“Uh, guys?” This result was considerably more alarming. “Can you feel Thomas?”

Roman and Logan broke off from muttered bickering about whether or not Roman should try healing Anxiety to stare at him, and he could see the change that came over them when they tried for themselves. Anxiety picked up on the changed mood immediately.

“What’s going on?” he asked, looking between them with a crumpled brow. 

“Why don’t you tell us?” Roman’s anger came with a distinctly panicked edge. “Why can’t we influence Thomas? Whatever you did, undo it!” 

Looking at Anxiety’s startled expression, however, Patton got the feeling that the situation wouldn’t be resolved so easily.

[darklingduke]

Inspired by @/capri-suns-and-gushers and this post about how sys-meds shouldn’t get to write the narrative about endogenic/parogenic/tulpamancy/spiritual/etc systems on this platform. 

We wanted to use this as our official coming-out-as-a-system (on this blog at least) post, as well as answering some things. 

If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask! Don’t send us syscourse or hate, please. (Long post, so it’s cut)

1. What kind of system are you?

We use several different terms to describe our system type, depending on how we’re feeling that day, who’s fronting, or who we’re talking to. We use endogenic, MaDD/paragenic, araisagenic, soul-bonding, and gateway.

Most of us are in here due to maladaptive daydreaming and escapism from the “core”, as well as projecting onto characters or having comfort characters. 

There are a few subsystems in here, though. One of our Remuses is a traumagenic OSDD system, Zak is a traumagenic DID system, Cadence has unknown origins, and Cleo is a paragenic system. 

2. How many of you are there?

Currently around 80 or so, counting subsystem member. But our numbers are constantly fluctuating when someone decides to leave or come back or walk-in. The highest amount we have ever had was around 120. 

3. How long have you known about your plurality?

Our “core” learned the first time about aer plurality in... I wanna say... 2018? Ae came out to someone as a system and it didn’t go well, so ae decided to forget all about it and procrastinated everything. We’ve been out as a system since December of 2019 now, though. 

4. Had you heard of DID/OSDD/DDNOS before you became plural/discovered your plurality?

Kind of? Someone at work approached us back in 2018 (see answer to 3) and whispered “hey. guess what. i’ve got multiple personality disorder. i’m not kyle.” then walked away. Star (”core”) went home that night and researched it and that’s how ae realized ae were plural. 

5. Do you have a wonderland/innerworld? If so, what do you call it, and what are some things that you and your system members do there?

We do, but it’s very difficult to see, due to the body’s aphantasia. Very few people are actually able to see it. It’s more along the lines of us “asking” the brain what it looks like and guessing things until the brain is like “yeah that’s right.” 

We call it our innerworld, or our headspace. 

A lot of people like hanging out in the living room (our “control room”, playing video games on one of the tv’s in here, or hanging out in the pond outside.

6. What do you call your system members?

Headmates. We’re not against the term “alters” but we don’t tend to use it too much. 

7. If you’re plural and don’t use the word “system” to describe you&, what word do you use?

We use the word “system” but we’ve been considering using different terms, just aren’t sure what terms there are to use lol.

8. What are some of the best things about being plural?

Probably getting to hang out with comfort characters. We are all aware that they aren’t their source, but they have many personality traits in common with their source, so it’s a source of comfort to get to hang out with and be friends with them. 

9. What are some not-so-great things about being plural?

The occasional blurriness we get when we realize we don’t know who we are/who’s fronting, and we have to try to figure out who we are. 

10. Do you have a spiritual or psychological view of your plurality?

We think it’s more of a spiritual view, because a lot of us, if not all of us, view it more as that person’s spirit coming to our headspace from a different dimension and hanging out here. 

11. Do you ever experience “switching” or “possession” or any sort of change in who controls the body? If so, what do you call it, how easy/difficult is it, and what is it like? Were you always able to do this, or did you have to learn how over time?

We do experience switching, but it feels different sometimes than others. Sometimes it feels as though whoever is fronting is more along the lines of Star (”core”) being in front and someone else backseat driving, or vice versa. 

We call it switching. It’s usually pretty easy. Sometimes we do it without even trying to or noticing. We’ll be sitting here playing a game or watching Tv and then all of a sudden realize we aren’t who was fronting before. Sometimes we have to focus on “handing over controls” in innerspace and there’s meatspace blurriness while that’s going on before it snaps into full control and the blurriness/dissociation goes away. it doesn’t normally take very long. A minute at most. 

We have been able to do it since actively being plural in 2019 (see answer 3)

12. How do you and your system mates relate to each other? (Are you friends, family, romantically involved, caretakers, etc)

All of the above. There are some people who were born in the system, and their family is in here. There are some people who are dating, who were related before coming here, who adopted each other in here as family, etc. It’s more of a whole world in here than anything. People have different relationships with each other. 

13. Have you come out to anybody in real life/in a singlet space about your plurality? How did it go?

We came out to our partner system’s dad (well they came out to him for us, but we gave them permission to do so), and he completely ignored the situation. And then we came out to the body’s mom, and she ignored us and told us she didn’t think we were safe with our partner system since they came out publically as a system. 

14. What kinds of forms and appearances do your system members take on?

We have some people in here who are human, we have some cat-people, demons, vampires, sirens, ghosts, and other monsters/creatures. We don’t all look like how people look like in this world, though. We don’t look how most people would say is “life like”. It’s more along the lines of video game animation or a more realistic version of pixar animation. 

15. What are you and your system members interested in?

Current interests are: Minecraft, Sanders Sides, Grey’s Anatomy, drawing, writing. Some people are interested in Don’t Starve Together. Some are interested in knitting and painting. Depends on the person. 

16. What is your life like in the meatworld?

Assuming meatworld is like... “real” world. Currently with quarantine, there’s not much to tell. We switch out every few hours if the body’s anxiety or depression gets too bad for us, we vibe with our partner system, and we pretend to be the core around the partner system’s dad (whom we live with).

17. What are your music tastes? Movies? Favorite Colors? Animals? List any other favorites as well. 

Ummm.... lol.... it really depends on the person. We have a playlist on spotify for each person. We don’t have much variety in favorite movies/shows, though. Most of us like animated movies or comedy or romcoms, or stereotypically straight movies (think Hallmark romance movie, or general romcoms, or raunchy comedy).

18. Does your system have a host/original? If so, what do you call them? Explain what role they play in your system. 

We have Star. Ae are the “original” person in here. We call aem the “core” when need be, but we usually just call aem Star lol. Ae are just another person in here, ae don’t really play too much of a “role”. Ae just decides what name the body goes by on default and ae have the final say on haircuts and tattoos/piercings and stuff. 

19. Do any system members have notable relationships outside of the system?

Yes! We have a partner system, @systemofthelostsouls . 

Star is dating Omen, Dee, Animosity, Logan, Regulus, and Story.  Virgil is dating Dee, Regulus, and Ceto. Remus is dating Omen, Dee, Logan, Emile and Story.  Roman is dating Emile and Logan.  Bee is dating Logan, Omen, Nyx, and Dee.  Charlie is dating Omen and Dee.  Denki is dating Jirou. Shinsou is dating Jirou. Kyle is dating Kay and has sort of a thing with Kenny and Stan.

And I’m decently sure there are more, but I can’t remember. I’m pretty new here, myself.

20. If you haven’t been plural for your entire life/haven’t known about your plurality until later in life: what was life like before plurality compared to life now. 

According to Star, life before plurality was a lot more... stable. Now if we want to finish a writing project, Star either has to backseat write, let someone else write for aem, or it takes weeks. We’ve been working on one chapter of a fanfiction for a week now. Before, Star was able to finish a chapter in a day or two. 

21. If you chose to become plural: why? What has changed since then?

We’re not actually sure if Star chose to become plural or not. Sometimes it feels like ae did (which fucks up with our imposter syndrome lmfao), sometimes it feels like Star chose to be plural and invited people here out of loneliness and wanting to fit in with our friend group at the time, but usually it just feels like people chose to come here, rather than the other way around. 

22. Is there anything you’d like to say to the plural community at large?

Don’t gatekeep, please. Let endogenic systems use the words “system” and “switching” if it’s what works for them. They aren’t hurting anyone. 

And please don’t fakeclaim. You don’t know what’s going on in someone’s head. You aren’t in there. 

23. Is there anything you’d like to say to any singlets reading this post?

Thank you for reading such a long thing. If any of this confuses you, or you’d like to learn more, our inbox is always open. But be warned, if you send us hate or something, we’re more likely to just delete your ask than answer it. 

Thank you all for reading! -Cyra

[mywonuderful]

hey can i get a minghao x idol!reader where fans ship them and he thinks that reader likes wonwoo but they’re just close and asking wonwoo how to get hao’s attention

Sorry for the delayed response 😓 (finals are rolling up so I’ve been prepping for it). 

But aside from that, I’d love to take your request anon! In fact, Wonwoo and Minghao are both my biases (who am I kidding, all 13 of them are my biases) but recently, Minghao has been playing with my feels. I ended up altering it a bit (I’m so sorry if this wasn’t what you wanted) but I hope you enjoy it! I kind of got carried away with it so I hope you don’t mind a longer scenario!

Perfect

Pairing: Minghao x Reader Genre: Angst, fluff (ending) Warning: Insecurities

main masterlist

You and Minghao hosted for a program once. And that one time was able to bring out craziness in the fans where they started shipping you and him together over the interactions and how supposedly you and him share a lot of similarities. Even if you wanted to avoid him (why would you ever though), your group and his was under the same company, debuting around the same time, making it normal for both of your groups to get along well. But since ship broke out, it definitely made it awkward for the two of you as the atmosphere tensed up. You found yourself getting flustered over the smallest things whenever he’s around. As feelings started to secretly form in you, you know that he deserved way much more than what you can offer. How can a perfect man ever fall in love with a idol who doesn’t have just as much fame and attention as him? Thoughts of doubt of criticism fills your mind as you start getting insecure. Not only about your feelings about him, but your whole life.

You group along with many others have been preparing for an upcoming special program. You were in a middle of dance practice when your manager comes in, telling you that you’re wanted in the meeting room. You mind automatically thought if a scandal between you and Minghao breaks out. You slowly made your way, thinking about how to explain the situation when you felt a tap on your shoulder.

“Did practice finish already?” You turn around and saw Minghao softly smiling as he tilted his head. You melted at his expression.

“Not yet... My manager told me to go to the meeting room.” You explained as you saw Minghao’s eyes slightly widen

“What a coincidence.” He lightly chuckles as you mentally prepared yourself for scolding.

“Oh, Minghao and Y/N! You both seemed to come in together.” A staff welcomes you as you smiled and took a seat beside Minghao where the staff started introducing themselves as coordinators for the upcoming special musical program.

“Now, we’ve recently send out a poll asking what collaboration fans wanted the most. And when we got the results, it seems like the fans wanted a collaboration with the both of your groups!” The staff showed us the results as you took a look  and was shocked about how many votes you got.

“Why did you only call for us then?” You asked curiously as the staffs exchanged some nervous looks and shuffles with some paper. You felt yourself getting embarrassed on asking such question.

“Well... Here’s the thing....” One of the staff started off making you lean in, more curious about what she has to say next. “...They wanted a collaboration between the two of you.” Your eyes widen and looked over to Minghao as he made the same expression

“We understand how busier the two of you are with the performance that’s less than a month. Which is why we came to confirm and ask if the both of you would like to do a surprise collaboration. Not even your members will know about this.” They waited eagerly for your reply as you slowly turn your head to see what he says. He looks over to you as you look into his soft eyes before he gave a small nod as you did the same without even knowing as if you were hypnotized and he smiled back.

“We’d love to.” He replied as you blinked a few times before realizing that you agreed. Your mouth slowly opened as the staff started laughing

“Are you okay, Y/N? You seem a little shocked.” You saw Minghao turning to look at you as you quickly covered your mouth, shaking your head.

“We know it’s very last minute but thank you very much! The fans and us will be excited for your perform. We’ll let you know how the rehearsals in the near future.” You and Minghao bowed as you left the room, heading back to practice as your mind replays and registered what just happened.

“If you weren’t comfortable if it, you could’ve said so.” Minghao leans over to check your face as you look up into his eyes, quickly looking away as you felt your cheeks heat up.

“No no! That’s not it. I’m just shocked about the results.” You smiled as it falls silent next, knowing that either of you want to bring up the ship.

“Are you heading back to practice?” He breaks the silence

“Yeah, but I think they left back to their dorms already so I’m going to get my things.”

“Wait, my members left already as well. Since we’re together, we don’t we start preparing for the performance? Might as well make use of all the time we have.” He suggested as you nodded. He told you that he’ll come over to you as he gather his things next door. The both of you went through lists of music but still had no idea on what to use. As time past, you slowly felt yourself getting more comfortable around him as the two of you started joking around.

“I was think maybe we should do something different aside from dancing. Since that’s our major.” You thought out loud as Minghao nods

“That’s a wonderful idea! Like maybe singing instead?” You started looking for some ballad music when Minghao moved closer to you, as your arms rubbed against each other.

“We should totally do this song!” He cheerfully smiles as the music video starts playing. Your mind flashes back as you remembered listening to this song whenever you felt insecure or stress over yourself and couldn’t rant it out. You felt tears slowly forming but quickly blinked it away.

“Yeah... It’s a nice song.” You replied with a soft smiled and Minghao happily nodded, giving you a high-five as you raised your hand and felt his soft skin.

“The fans will love it! This song will be so touching for them!” Minghao starts going on about how touched the fans will be as your mind starts to worry if you can carry out the performance well enough. The next few days, you were able to practice with Minghao without having your members suspect too many from you. You only remember almost slipping the collaboration to Wonwoo, your best friend from Seventeen but luckily he didn’t think much of it.

****

“Y/N, aren’t you hot dancing in such thick layers?” Minghao asks in the middle of practice as the both of you decided to take a water break. You were wearing long pants and a thick hoodie in the middle of the summer but you weren’t confident in your skin, making your cover up regardless of how hot it may be.

“Nope, I’m fine.” You gave him a reassured smile as you saw worry in his eyes. You sweating to the core but you fought through it as best as possible. Luckily the performance didn’t have much dancing as it was more vocal. You and Minghao was going through the last practice of the day when your phone started ringing. Minghao walked over to stop the music and glanced over at your phone as the caller showed ‘Wonwoo.’ You quickly ran over, grabbing the phone and answered the call.

“Hello? No. What do you mean? I’m kind of busy at the moment. Uh, I don’t know. Wonwoo, for the last time, I am not taking the blame if you walk back to the dorm with a kitten. I’m busy. Bye.” You hung up and glanced over your shoulder, catching Minghao looking at you with a small pout for he turns around scratching the back of his neck as if nothing happened.

“Sorry, Wonwoo can be quite annoying sometimes.” you laughed and walked back to him as he silently nods. The rest of practice goes by without much talking as his face lingers in your head.

***

“Oh Hao, you’re back.” Wonwoo says as Minghao enters the dorm. “Where were you?” He starts munching on his snacks as Minghao enters the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water.

“Just practicing a new dance I choreographed.” He lied as Wonwoo nodded and walked away before turning around

“Did you see Y/N by any chance? She was there too.” He asks as Minghao choked on his water from you name, making Wonwoo step back from his sudden actions.

“U-Uh no. Why’d you ask?” He wipes the side of his mouth as Wonwoo shrugs.

“No reason. I was just wondering. I called her earlie-”

“Do you like her?” Minghao blurted out in the middle of his sentence and quickly covered his mouth making Wonwoo widen his eyes, taken back from Minghao. Minghao was known for someone who is rather more reserved and a listener but recently, he’s been acting rather moody every time someone mention your name, especially when he see’s Wonwoo calling you.

“Hao-”

“Sorry hyung. I didn’t mean to cut you off.” Minghao took a seat on the dinning table without looking at him when Wonwoo takes a seat beside him.

“I don’t like her. She’s just someone I hang out with often.” Wonwoo firmly says as Minghao lifts his head, feeling relieved of his answer. “Is something bothering you? You’ve been acting strangely this past days. Especially whenever someone mentions Y/N’s name.” He adds on, voice with concern as Minghao ruffles his hair in frustration.

“I think... I think I fell in love with her...” He muffles in his hands when Wonwoo pats his back.

“It’s been time since you admitted.” Wonwoo chuckles as Minghao looked up, surprised before burying his face into his hands.

“She’s kind of hard to read no? She’s rather reserved with her feelings. But one thing I’ve notice is that she’s been acting.... Different...” Wonwoo thought out loud as Minghao listens carefully asking for more as the two talked about your strange behavior for the rest of the night.

****

It was the day of the performance where many artist came to performance their music. There was still hours before the show, but during this time, you were getting ready with your group’s rehearsal. You saw your costume of what you were wearing and immediately felt insecure with how much skin should, especially in your outfit. You weren't fat nor skinny, instead, you were consider healthy which was what fans loved about how you emphasize a healthy relationship with self and mind. You quietly asked one of your staff if you could change your outfits but she said that they wanted to show off more of your figure, making you panic even more. You practically had to beg for them to switch outfits before they finally agreed, expressing their concerns on why you suddenly want to conceal. Feeling more relieved, you forgot to ask about the outfit you’ll be wearing for the collaboration. Your group will be performing after Seventeen so you waited on the side for them to finish their rehearsal. As they got off, you greeted them as you locked eyes with Minghao, where he gave a small wave and smile.

“Good luck.” he quickly said as you thank him before heading on to rehearsal. After rehearsal you and your members were lounging you waiting room.

“Wasn’y Y/N suppose to wear this?” One of your members asked as they looked at the stage outfits.

“I asked if I could switch.” You quickly answered, not wanting to explain. You and your members were really close to one another. But when it comes with worries, you always put your member’s worries first, ending up with you concealing yours because you didn’t want them to worry.

“But why? This outfit will look absolutely amazing on you! It brings out the amazing figure you have!” They tried convincing you to switch back but you gave them a firm no as they gave up. The members slowly left for lunch break when you got a text message from Minghao saying that the collaboration rehearsal is now. You quickly excused yourself before your members questioned you and left to meet Minghao in another waiting room. He was seating on the couch, looking through his phone when he saw you walk in and his face immediately creeps up into a smile. The special performance with him will be last so that the both of you will have the time to change outfits and that all the artist will be able to watch as well. You got nervous during rehearsal as you felt your voice shake when you sang.

“S-Sorry. Let me try that part again.” You apologized as the staff played the music again.

“You can do it Y/N. Don’t worry.” Minghao whispers as you nodded, trying your best to get rid of the nervousness. After the rehearsal, you and Minghao decided to eat lunch together before getting ready for the performance. Just when you were about to leave, he grabs your wrist, asking you to take a seat on the couch.

“You okay? You seem really nervous today.” He asks as you played with you fingers.

“Yeah. This is my first collaboration and all. I’m scared I’ll mess up-”

“You won’t!” Minghao turned up and grabbed your shoulder, making your eyes dart up to meet his. “Y/N, you’re such a talented and wonderful person. Someone like you shouldn’t be think thoughts like this. You won’t mess up. You’ll do amazing and I know and promise you will.” He soften his grip around your arm as looked down, trying to hide the tears forming in your eyes. He gentle lifts your chin so that you can look into his orbits.

“If you get scared, just look right into my eyes alright? So let’s do well together like we did during rehearsal and make everyone proud, hmm?” He hummed as your felt your cheeks flushed. The both you of walked back into the waiting as you and your members got ready for the show. The group was eagerly waiting to perform as each group finished. Seventeen was performing as your group stood on standby, waiting for them to finish. Your eyes fixed on Minghao as he sang and danced passionately as the fans screamed wildly. You couldn’t help but to smile. After their performance, you got ready as they walked down.

“Good luck!” He yelled over the loud music as you smiled widely at him. Even though it was dark, you were still able to see him blushing, making your heart swell as your walked on stage, putting on your on-stage expression for the fans as they chanted you group name.

Seventeen was settling back in their waiting room as they watched your performance through the TV. Minghao hummed along to your parts as you sang.

“She handles her expression really well doesn’t she?” The boys started complimenting on how well you looked on stage along with your members. After your song ended, Minghao switched out of his stage outfit and told his members that he wants to get some fresh air and that he’ll be back for the ending ment (which was a lie). He got dressed in the other dressing room and waited for you as his conversation with Wonwoo the other night replays in his mind.

-Flashback-

“She told me once that she wasn’t confident in yourself. Especially her looks and body.” Wonwoo expressed to Minghao“She has been wearing a lot of layers...” Minghao thought out loud“You’ve noticed?” Wonwoo questioned Minghao bites his tongue, regretting mentioning it.“I see her sometimes.” He quickly ansnwers“Y/N is normally really cheerful and motivated by recently, she’s really been concealing herself as a whole.” Minghao starts to wonder about what could be and remembered the fans shipping him and you together. “She’s been doubting herself which really isn’t like her.” Wonwoo adds on. ‘That must be it.’ he thought to himself. That night Minghao thought of ways of making you feel more confident and better as he tossed and turn, figuring out how to make you feel content again. Then, an ideas comes to his mind. A brave one.

-End-

You changed out of your stage outfits and told your members that you’re going to take a walk and will be back for the ending when you hurried to the other waiting room as the ending performance approaches. You quickly walked in to see Minghao already dressed into his outfit. He wore a elegant suit and seeing him sit all classy on the couch almost made your heart jump out of your chest.

“Does it look weird?” he looks at his suit as you snapped back into reality, cheeks turning red as you furiously shook your head. He stood up and smiled as he said that he’ll wait near the stage area to get his mic check as you got dress. As he left, you felt your palms starting to sweat as you waiting for the staff to bring your outfit, praying it won’t be too revealing. As they brought in the outfit, it was a beautiful, long, flowy dress that complimented Minghao’s suit. Your mind started blanking out when they staff helped you get dressed as they all threw endless compliments on how well it suited you. It was too late for you to change out of the dress as you were escorted backstage. You stood on the opposite side of the stage as Minghao sings first before you enter on the other side. You heard the artists and groups gathering around the front of the stage as they all waited for what was the ending ment. Goosebump starts to form on your skin as you got the cold sweat, making you rub you shoulder to keep you warm from such revealing dress. As the lights dimmed down, you hear people whispering about what was going on before music started playing, as Minghao stepped up on stage, singing the lyrics beautifully as everyone started cheering loudly. You were amazed and taken back from his voice that you almost forgot it was your turn to walk up when a staff reminded you. Your whole body started to shake as you tried to steady your hand holding mic as you took deep breaths and closed your eyes before stepping on stage.

“Well, I found a man stronger than anyone I know. He shares my dreams, I hope that someday we'll share a home.” you stepped on stage as the crowd goes wild. You looked right into Minghao’s eyes as stepped back, blown away from how beautiful you looked as his face blushed along with yours. Just like in rehearsal, you and Minghao stood side by side and sang beautifully as you saw your members in complete shocked as well as Seventeen, letting out a smile.

“Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms. Barefoot on the grass, while listenin' to our favorite song.” your voices harmonized as you looked into the crowd

“Now I know I have met an angel in person” You sang when you felt Minghao pull your arm as you turned to looked at him, surprised since this wasn’t what you practice. He looks at you fondly and smiles.  

“And she looks perfect. No, I don't deserve this,” He sang as his hand reached for a piece of hair and placed it behind your ear, eyes glued to yours, as everyone screamed. Tears started blurring your vision as they fell down on your face. Minghao gently wipes the ears of his face as he smiles

“You look perfect tonight” The both of you sang as you choked on your tears. The audience all started screaming as the lights dimmed down and curtains closed but neither did you or him moved. Tears continued to roll down your face as Minghao sweetly smiled, shutting off both your mics before speaking.

“I hope you realize how beautiful you look. Not just today. But every single day. Don’t think so lowly of yourself. The beauty you hold is skin deep that no one else has.” He whispers as you felt a hand travel around your waist, pulling you in as his lips kisses yours. You arms wrapped around his neck as tears fell. He parted and rested his forehead against yours, shooting his soft and charming smile as always.

“You’re perfect to me.”

[nadziejastar]

Have you read isa/saïx’s character file? How do you feel about how he was portrayed and where his character will evolve to from this point?

One corner of Xigbar’s mouth twitched up in a sneer. “Me? I’m already half Xehanort.”

“That’s…nuts…!”

Xigbar’s golden eye regarded Sora.

It doesn’t make sense. What does he think he can do by throwing away his own heart and becoming Xehanort? I don’t get it. And what is Xehanort after? Why’s he putting his heart in other people?

Yes, I did read his Character File. Personally, I really don’t like the way Saïx was handled. Not at all. It didn’t seem like he evolved naturally as a character. It seemed more like the writers were very lazy and just wanted to have him redeemed quickly without putting any real effort in. And I also don’t have much faith in his characterization going forward due to the lack of respect his character received in KH3. And here’s why.

“Talking to Roxas and Xion always brings back memories of my human life, back when I was a kid. It’s a weird sensation. I ought to be able to share all this with Saïx, but I just don’t feel like it anymore. It’s strange, but I’m content with just missing what’s gone. I’m not the one who changed. You did.”

“What were you really after, Lea? We joined the Organization at the same time, and formulated our plan. At this point, it’s just an idle fantasy. Everything changed. You, and me.”

I always saw Saïx like this: He was a Nort. An alter ego of Xehanort, no different than Xemnas or Ansem Seeker of Darkness. Saïx absolutely did NOT seem like the same Isa that we saw in BBS. 

“Our efforts have come to bear fruit, nearly ripe for the plucking.”

“Not only have you the power to inflict pain, you also have the power to plant seeds of doubt in one’s receptive heart.”

“It seems we have found a loose thread at which we can tug to unravel Ventus’s heart. The first step is to get Terra alone; then we need to plant the seeds of doubt in Ventus.”

His Machiavellian personality and even his speech patterns were far more similar to Xehanort than Isa. The writers were hinting all along that Saïx was actually Xehanort, not Isa. Look how many times Axel said Saïx had changed. I never got the impression that Isa’s change was natural, either. He changed because he literally became another person—Xehanort. Unlike Braig, there were no hints that Isa ever consented to becoming Norted. 

“Xemnas and Xehanort formed the Organization for a specific reason—round up a bunch of empty husks, hook them up to Kingdom Hearts, then fill them all with the exact same heart and mind,” Xigbar explained behind him.

Sora turned around. Empty husks? Is he saying they’re going to break them with sorrow and put another heart into them…? Or did they already do it?

“Translation—they were gonna turn all the members into Xehanort.”

“Make more Xehanorts?” You’re hollowing out people’s hearts to put Xehanort’s inside them?!

I think Isa was originally meant to be a test subject in the experiments. His mind had to be “broken” with sorrow first. His sense of self had to die. The experiments were to control the mind and convince it to renounce its sense of self. Before becoming a vessel, Isa had to be hollowed out. Then, his heart was swallowed by Xehanort’s. By the time he was a Nobody, Saïx’s mind and personality were Xehanort’s. For the most part, it seemed like Isa’s heart was totally dormant inside of Saïx. Asleep, like Venus’s heart was inside of Sora.

“Indeed. A heart is never lost for good. There may have been variances in our dispositions, but a number of us unquestionably showed signs of a burgeoning replacement.” 

A burgeoning replacement… 

“Once born, the heart can also be nurtured. Our experiments creating Heartless were attempts to control the mind and convince it to renounce its sense of self. But understand, one can banish the heart from the body, but the body will try to replace it the first chance it gets, for as many times as it takes. And so I knew, even after we were divided into Heartless and Nobodies, it was just a temporary separation.”

There was a gaping void within Saïx, which caused him immense suffering. He remembered his bond with Lea, but he was literally incapable of feeling it. He couldn’t experience friendship or a connection as a Nobody. He wasn’t like Axel or Xemnas or Xigbar. Since Isa’s heart was captured by Xehanort, Saïx had access to Isa’s memories and could still feel some emotions from Isa’s dormant heart, when something very powerful triggered it, such as Axel leaving the organization. But at the end of the day, Saïx was still Xehanort. He still had Xehanort’s soul/mind, even though he didn’t realize it.

“Things are finally right again,” Saïx went on. “Of course, we’re better off this way.”

Axel had no retort for that. Maybe because he didn’t want to alienate Saïx anymore.

“Xemnas is exasperated from all the ‘fixing’ we’ve had to do. We have to set things right. There is too much on the line…Lea.”

Hearing his old name, Axel glanced up to see Saïx watching him intently. He remembered being human. Memories surged inside him, crowding the space in his chest. For Nobodies, memory had all the weight of a heart.

So, Saïx had Isa’s body, Xehanort’s mind, Isa’s memories, and no heart. That’s how we got the complicated character that he was. He was a fascinating character. But he was a Xehanort; cold and calculating. He manipulated Axel to kill Xion by calling him “Lea”, which was honestly a really depraved thing to do. He preyed on Axel’s memories of their past. Saïx did not like how much power Axel had over him, and tried to brutally kill him. At the same time, Saïx had strong romantic feelings for Axel. But—and this is important—those feelings weren’t really Saïx’s feelings. They truly belonged to Isa. Saïx was experiencing them the same way Sora experienced Roxas/Ventus’s feelings. The relationship was like a parasite siphoning off of its host.

Three elements combine to create a life: a heart, a soul, and a body. But what of the soul and body left behind when the heart is lost? When the soul leaves the body, its vessel, life gives way to death, but what about when the heart leaves? A being does not perish when its heart leaves its body. The heart alone disappears into the darkness.

― Secret Ansem Report 4

Three elements combine to make a life. Xehanort creates vessels by literally replacing their mind/soul/personality and heart with his. By the time we are introduced to Saïx in KH2/Days, two of those elements have already been replaced. Only the body is still Isa’s. The body is the least important part of your identity. So, how could Saïx still even be considered Isa at that point? KH is all about hearts. In metaphysical terms, the heart is simply the relationships you form which give you meaning, purpose, and love.

“Do you know what happens to those who lose their true purpose? Inevitably, they destroy themselves.”

So, how can KH3 downplay the effect being Norted had on Isa? THE biggest things about Saïx were his lack of purpose and his inability to love.

Yes, I thought you didn’t need me anymore. If you didn’t need me, then I no longer held meaning.

He even said in his Character File that if Lea didn’t need him anymore, his life had no meaning. Saïx longed to have the purpose, meaning, and love that a heart provided. He remembered how much meaning Isa’s life had, because of his love for Lea. But he didn’t have access to that, no matter how much he wanted it.

“Just stop it! You treat people’s hearts like they’re bottles on a shelf, but they’re not!”

Hearts aren’t “foolish,” and other people aren’t tools for you to use.

Sora faced Xemnas and summoned his Keyblade, ready to fight. “Hearts are made of the people we meet and how we feel about them—they’re what ties us together even when we’re apart! They’re what…make me strong.”

If Isa’s heart was swallowed by Xehanort’s, then none of Saïx’s relationships should have any bearing on Isa once he was saved. Isa shouldn’t have to atone for anything Saïx did to Roxas or Xion or Axel, because they had different minds and hearts. Those relationships were totally distinct. Saïx did not even really have a heart. He just had a blank void since Isa’s heart was dormant/asleep.

This whole concept is what made the Axel/Saïx relationship so interesting to me. Axel never knew that his best friend’s heart was replaced, like a bottle on a shelf. Hearts are NOT interchangeable. In KH, the heart is what makes you who you are. It is your core identity. So, Saïx had Isa’s body, but not his heart. Without Isa’s heart, the very essence of their special relationship was gone. Axel never knew why Saïx didn’t feel like Isa any longer. Something was just…missing. If Saïx didn’t have Isa’s heart, that is a HUGE deal. Not something to be glossed over, like it was in KH3. In KH3, Saïx being Norted meant absolutely nothing. It might as well not even have been a plot point.

Xigbar: If people see with their hearts, Saïx, then you’re even blinder than the rest of us.

Seeing how Axel handled the relationship with his Norted best friend was soooo intriguing to me. It was SUCH a cool idea, that unfortunately went nowhere. Axel did not feel a connection with Saïx. Instead, he relied on his memories. When Axel mentions the red sunset on Day 255, it’s called “The Longest Day”. The summer solstice is the longest day of the year, and is also known as “midsummer”. I believe that the red sunset thing was a precious memory Axel had of Isa telling him that. The scene was inspired by Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”. And I believe the localization team knew that. Versus XIII was inspired by Hamlet, so Nomura obviously likes Shakespeare.

Love… Huh. “It is powerful, but it’s not a power we get to have.” Axel had very little confidence in his ability to explain it. But whenever Roxas or Xion had questions about the mysteries of the human heart, he did his best to answer. 

“Nobodies can’t love?” Roxas asked. 

“Nope. You need a heart for that.”

 “Oh… Right.” Roxas fell quiet, pensive. 

Axel kept talking. “Love is what happens when there’s something really special between people.” 

“More special than friends? Like…if they’re best friends? Inseparable?”

In KH, key memories have the power to awaken a heart, even in Nobodies. Axel was growing a heart throughout the course of the story after he returned from Castle Oblivion. The whole idea was that his newly awakened heart allowed him to transform things “base and vile” to “form and dignity”. Axel’s heart had the power to transform (in his mind) the nasty and cold Nort Saïx into the Isa he loved from his memories. His love for Isa was blind and allowed him to remain intensely loyal to what was, essentially, an impostor. Smoke and mirrors. That is what I saw when I played Days and read the novels.

I love Roxas and Axel. I’m sure Saïx would scoff at that. Call it a trick of my artificial memories.

Saïx, without a heart, had no such power. He could not look at things with the mind. He had a scar on his mind’s eye. He only saw with his eyes. He couldn’t even see Xion, since her appearance was dependent upon the connection she has with the observer. Xemnas and Xigbar could see her, though. So clearly there was something uniquely wrong with Saïx. The most important thing was, Saïx could not love Axel the way Isa could.

“You know, right, because you all have hearts!” Sora said, testing Xigbar.

“Axel and Roxas and Naminé, and that other girl. I felt what Roxas felt and…they laughed together, got mad, and they grieved.” The ache in his heart belonged to everyone. “You have to have a heart to cry.”

Xigbar snorted derisively. “It’s about time you noticed.”

Axel did have a heart. Xemnas and Xigbar had hearts, too.

“Oh, the things you hear from a guy with no heart,” Xigbar said through his hilarity.

None of us have hearts, Saïx was about to remind him, when Xemnas spoke again.

Saïx did NOT have a heart. He was unique compared to the other Nobodies.

The Tin Man programming is all purpose versatile program for what ever the master needs done, it means that the slave is a well oiled machine. Sometimes the slave is reluctant to do a job but he is being told that he is a well oiled machine.U.S. Sen. Allen Simpson, one of the perpetrators of the Monarch Program, referred to the Tin Man programming when he told a slave “THESE ARE BUT EMPTY SHELLS OF THE LIFE THEY WERE ONCE POSSESSED. LIKE YOU ARE–EMPTY AND VOID OF LIFE.”Certain alters are not given courage and most have their hearts taken from them. The alters who are programmed not to have hearts are hypnotically told the same thing the Tin Man says, “I could be human if I only had a heart.”

—The above are all excerpts from a book about government mind control

Saïx’s canon backstory does absolutely nothing to explain his unique characterization. If you ignore Saïx’s uniqueness, you cannot possibly offer him a decent redemption. And KH3 did a horrendous job redeeming Isa. It’s so bizarre, too, because if he actually had been subjected to mind control experiments, like it was hinted, it would have perfectly explained his weird personality and also created some much needed sympathy for him.