#(or at least his silhouette and his butt)

[answermywearyquery]

the time in 4 minutes: episode 1

[wakeup01]

From Behind

(A horror themed butt growth story.)

Why do you keep doing this to yourself? It’s like you set yourself up for disaster. You are travelling home alone from a rather productive session at the gym. That is the good news, the bad news is you have just entered what is known as a run down area of town affectionately referred to as ‘The Crack’, everyone tends to avoid it if possible. There have been recent reports of missing people in the area too, but no one is very surprised, or seems to care. But today you were in a rush and despite your reservations, this was the quickest route back. At least, in theory.

Passing down a street of derelict warehouses you notice a side passage that appeared to lead down an alleyway. That was odd. You’ve been down here before, but had never noticed this back-alley before. Paths don’t tend to spring up out of thin air. You try and calculate where it should lead and come to the conclusion that it would let you save some time, maybe? Look, it’s extremely unlikely anything bad could happen within the minute it would take to make it through to the other side. Yes, that is what everyone says before things go horribly wrong but that was absolutely, definitely not going to happen here.

You step into a puddle that splashes an unidentifiable liquid up your bare leg. Mental note: never wear shorts in ‘The Crack’ again. Trash was piled up high on either side, it was obvious these buildings didn’t get a huge amount of use anymore. You always thought horror movies had done a real disservice to alleyways, but this one certainly wouldn’t be changing anyones mind. In the distance you see the silhouette of someone standing in the middle of the alley. From their stature it seems to be man, but something about them throws you off. You feel a pang of trepidation, a chill runs down your back. It’s only just occurred to you how deafly quiet the passage is, the sounds of the street feel like miles away. You turn around and the uneven pavement seems to impossibly stretch away from your feet. You hear a dull droning, fizzling just within your hearing range. Looking back and the man appears closer than before, you swear he hasn’t moved and yet…

“Uh hello?” You call out, to no response. Strange. But then, you see it. The most beautiful sight your eyes have been graced with. His butt.

Butt.

His grey joggers are having a hard time trying to contain what he’s packing, not that you’re complaining. It’s bigger than what you thought possible, it’s captivating. And now you’re just staring. Staring at another dudes gigantic butt in the middle of an alley, try not to overthink it. You see it jiggle just slightly and your eyes follow it’s repetitive movement hypnotically. What doesn’t occur to you is how your body is starting to….adjust. There’s a barely perceptible malicious force entering your form, you welcomed it in the second you laid eyes on the perfectly sculpted ass. Not a wholly bad trade off.

It wastes no time in making itself at home. Assessing the prey that wandered into it’s lair, before going to work on you.

The energy is gathering in your nethers, passing down your head and pulling through your torso. It seems to be taking something with it as your rear begins to heat up. You feel a light throb. It starts slow but soon increases in intensity. Your modest stature is being ‘enhanced’, your average ass cheeks piling on pounds as the rest of your body flattens out. Muscle and tissue is consumed, just food to bolster your hindquarters. All your body fat melts away until you have a tight slim chest. Your arms thinning out into effeminate twigs, hands slender. And through it all you continue to watch the rotund cheeks in front of you, not daring to take your eyes off them. Wouldn’t it be nice to have that too? Any sacrifice would be worth it, no? You want that, that -

Butt.

The thin polyester fabric of your shorts is pulled taut across your enlarging rear. Straining as it struggles to cage the hungry beast within it’s confines. Today was perhaps not the best day to decide on going without underwear. But lets be honest, underwear isn’t going to have much prominence in your future.

With your body adequately slimmed down, the insatiable parasitic-like force begins to target any identifying features you have left. It focuses on your head, a couple of twitches and it’s done. Nose itches, eyes water. It leaves your face with an uncanny quality, like it was unsettlingly sent though a algorithmic generator. It’s you, but an eerie idealised version of you. Plasticised perfection. Your skin is now unnaturally even, without a single speck or blemish. Anything that could distract from your main asset is smoothed clean. Absorbed by the mound of flesh expanding in your pants. There’s only one thing people should be paying attention to. That’s quickly becoming less of an issue. The inevitable missing poster they put up will only vaguely resemble you.

“Guh.” You hear yourself pant.

The low droning of the alleyway grows more prominent, pulsing rhythmically, akin to the low bass of a dance track. Your buttocks instinctually vibrate to the beat.

It’s increasingly hard to ignore the obvious changes happening to you. Your rotund behind is becoming so heavy. And while, yes, it is slightly concerning - can the issue wait just a little bit longer? You’ll deal with it later, after fully grasping the scope of this dude’s bountiful booty. For a second you wonder what the mans face looks like but then you think better of it. His face isn’t important, in the same way that yours isn’t.

You shift your feet apart, trying to balance out your rear heavy centre of gravity. The slight movement sends your round cheeks wobbling comically like a bowl of jelly. They bounce together, creating a wet slapping sound in your tight shorts. Your lower half is at risk of putting fuck toys out of business.

You’ve never had the word ‘butt’ enter your mind with such frequency in your entire life, it begins to loose all meaning. A collection of random letters.

Butt.

Are you perhaps forgetting something? That 4 letter word isn’t about to share a space with that bump between your legs. At some point you may have believed your cock was of some importance. All those times it had made you feel good, where for a second your concerns would fade from view. But things change. You are changing. Sometimes you have no choice but to embrace it. You start to feel a light tugging at your crotch. It’s slightly uncomfortable but there’s a pleasant tingle too. You reach down and feel it’s length diminish within your hand, sucked up like a vacuum by your ever thickening arse. It doesn’t stop until a mere nub protrudes from your groin. It dribbles the smallest amount of pre down your leg and spreads across the cracked concrete of the alley. No amount of stimulation is going to produce much down there. Your pleasure centre realigns a little further back. A deep itch that requires constant attention. A cock is something that other people have, you instead have an open socket for them to plug into.

Your shapely bum must almost rival that of the one your eyes are glued to. Not much further to go. Other people will stare at yours in the same way. You didn’t know you were so jealous of it but who wouldn’t want THAT?

You’re not sure how long you’ve been watching his rear end, or how long you plan to continue doing so. No better ideas come to mind right now. That might be because with your body and cock sucked dry, your brain is the next best source of fuel. So much useless power being used up there, where it can serve a much better purpose. It’s like a battery being drained, squeezed right into your juicy fat ass. Churned away just to add another inch of thickness.

You don’t think you really want this to happen, maybe you’re big enough back there? But what you want and what it wants are two very different things. Unfortunately for you, it doesn’t appear to be up for debate.

If you round up all those little idiosyncrasies of your personality, you might even squeeze another few millimetres into your hips. There’s only one thing around here with much substance anymore, and it certainly isn’t your brain. You can admit it, not much of value has been lost. It’s not like you were getting around to solving world hunger. At least now you have the opportunity to solve a different kind of hunger.

Your thoughts provided a decent amount of sustenance as they were sucked out of your brain through a figurative straw. You feel the benefit push out. Your hips flaring out instantaneously while your globes inflate to the size of footballs. With your brain emptied out of anything complex, thoughts and instructions to your body start to arrive from the new master of the domain. Neurones rewired, your butt was now command central, your head was just the go between, mostly irrelevant. Simple instructions and desires like ‘bend’, ‘twerk’ and ‘facesit’ overwhelm you. But -butt- right now the main one was ‘stare’; you weren’t done yet after all.

Your cheeks moisten as they rub together, their new sensitivity firing bolts up your spine. Your shorts grow damp as the leaking fluid soaks into the polyester and clings tightly to your skin. It only helps to make your arse seem bigger, the fabric bunching up between your crack, creating a noticeable crease down the centre that leaves nothing to the imagination.

Once again you feel your ass throb and shudder, each jiggle pushing it just a little bit further from your body. Just when you think you couldn’t get any bigger back there, it keeps going, inflating to cartoonish proportions. Sticking out like a depraved shelf. Your waist thins out and your hips expand to accommodate your new form. Women would be jealous of what you’re packing, and men will be queuing up to test it’s suspension.

It’s okay to smile. Happy people smile. Aren’t you happy? You must be, everything else in your head was consumed. The entity did you a favour in that regard. Think of the words ‘bouncing booty’. Go on, give it a try.

Your lip quivers in a last ditch effort of restraint. Don’t let ‘it’ win. The defiance is vaguely amusing in a pitiful way but your face muscles start to give way. Your mouth stretches wide into a broad, earnest grin. The most sincere display of joy you’ve ever shown, who cares if it makes you look ‘dumb’? It doesn’t bother you at all that people can take one look at you and accurately guess, that not a single word of value will exit your mouth. Dumb people are happy. Why worry? You had different priorities now. You can feel safe knowing that your most prominent feature is taking the lead, that it knows what’s best for you. Give it the keys and good things are bound to happen.

See, and doesn’t smiling feel good? Doesn’t it feel right to smile as your hole is used like a cum receptacle? Or when your cheeks are surrounding a mans face? People don’t want to see their toy sad.

A lone giggle falls out between your pursed lips.

You reach back around and place your hands on your two buttocks, your palm is dwarfed in size. It no longer stretches across its surface. Like palming a basketball. You can feel it push against your fingers with immense pressure as it expands within your grasp. Just another centimetre, and another. It’s curvature widens, expanding out from your hips. You press your finger into the skin and rub. The surface is completely smooth and the texture has a slight friction to it, creating a light satisfying sqk. No one for a second will believe that it’s real, it’s obvious fake-ness is by design. Authenticity is so overrated, nothing real would bounce so tightly back to position, would shine so brightly in the light. Would be able to withstand so much pounding… People don’t actually want real, they want a fetish image come to life, they want no maintenance, no downsides. They want someone to just nod and agree while they fuck them without concern; they want a rubber butt like yours. You’re not about to question it, and neither will anyone else.

They won’t question it while they undress you, or while they find relief inside of you, or even when their own butt begins to expand. And still, when they are reduced to just another butt boy, they won’t question it.

Butt.

That’s right, you’re a carrier. You have been entrusted with a important task, to leave a string of giant asses in your wake. You need to spread it, like a computer virus. Once they ‘plug in’ there’s no going back. Whoever they were, they’ll all end up the same.

You are finished. Your glutes tighten into place. And your hole opens for frequent visitors. Stretching wide as if it had just been treated to a rigorous fuck machine session. You’re just a butt with a body attached. It’s how you view yourself, above all is tending to the needs of your ever hungry rear. The rest of your body is just a mode of transport, a means to an end. A rear end.

It feels like you’ve stood here for hours, but in reality it’s been no more than a minute. A minute was all it took for you to be repurposed as a literal butt boy. A mere sixty seconds for all your thoughts to be hollowed out; maybe you weren’t as smart as you thought, or maybe you secretly wanted this all along. Either way your head is now just a pretty picture to smile at before spinning you around.

The space in your head is about as empty as the hole between your pillowy cheeks, although only one has any hope of being filled up.

“Butt!” You hear yourself blurt out, like a child saying a naughty word. The sound echos down the dank alley.

Suddenly the butt opposite you turns away, his legs moving him towards you. A wordless instruction reaches your body to kneel and so you do, obediently. He turns back away, his beautiful ass only a few inches apart from your face. His joggers lower and his prize springs forth from it’s prison. He slowly backs his cheeks into your face until they eclipse your entire view. He continues until your head is pushed between his round globes with a blomf, encasing you, muffling the sound in your ears. There’s a mild tingle across your forehead/face.

You feel the pressure push against your sides. It makes sure your head is an appropriately vacuous vessel, squeezing out anything left. That little remnant that didn’t want to be butt brained drips away in no time, turned to drool and absorbed into the guys ass crack. This would be good for you; You needed to be made perfect, so you let the butt finish it’s work. A new set of instructions flow into you, into your ass. You feel your consciousness connect to the butt burying your face, assimilating and adding you as one of it’s own, making you part of something bigger. One of many.

The pressure on your head leaves your emptied mind subservient to the mass of tissue straining under you. It gives you a new identity.

I gave you a new identity.

BUTT BOY.

And you’re now ready for service. Butt. Boy. Ready to spread joy. To put it in the nicest way possible, you have a butt for a brain. It has been given full control, and it has one singular goal. You need to make more Butt Boys. It is that simple. It’s not a desire, it’s just something you have to do.

The cheeks spread open again and are unseated from your encased head, your broad smile still unflinching.

Something else is different though. A cold breeze brushes over your forehead. The hair on your head is nothing but a light dusting of what was there before, at most 1mm in length. It was one less thing to worry about, and one less thing to identify you with. It’s unsettling how much of your personality seemed to be stripped with it gone. The buzzed look certainly makes you appear more anonymous. Like a default custom character in a video game. Nothing made you stand out… well, aside from the obvious.

The ass in front of you is satisfied with your ‘adjustment’ and leads it’s body from the spot it once stood so patiently in. You continue to stare as the buttocks juggle erratically in the grey joggers as they leave the alleyway.

Your feet begin to move of their own volition. Movement is awkward, each step your balance is pulling you backward. You’re like a dumptruck trying to make a tight turn.

You are left in silence, aside from the clapping of your bouncy cheeks as you stumble forward to replace the previous occupant. You stand in the exact same spot, thighs pushed together, back straight. Now it is your turn to wait - like an animal for it’s prey, knowing that you cannot leave until you have passed on the gift to another man; ensuring that the cycle continues. The idea of causing someone else to go through the same process fills you with such pride.

It’s unclear how long you stand there, time in the alley doesn’t appear to operate within normal parameters. Like a crack in the world. You see your shadow projected onto a nearby wall, a straight line interrupted by an obscene vibrating speed bump. Doorframes could be your new biggest enemy.

You were desperate to see your reflection, from behind obviously. Most people take selfies of their face, the subject of your attention would be much further down.

You hear a voice echo from behind.

“Excuse me sir.”

One week later:

“Man, how much work did you have done on this, femboy? Unff. You make even my girlfriend look flat.” A towering voice booms down at you.

You’d picked up the jock in a club. He was relatively easy, it didn’t take much to end up back at his place. You stared at him with that horny, open mouthed duck face. But he wasn’t interested in what you had going on up there. It was remarkable how little men cared about how flagrantly airheaded you were once you flash your rear at them. It didn’t matter how ‘plastic’ or fake you so obviously were. The eye see’s what it wants.

He was clearly in the mood to let off steam, and one look of what you had on offer was all it took. You didn’t even need to say anything, which was good, as words were so hard to get right. For tonight, you were his; a light tap of your butt and he owned your body. A breathy ‘mhm’ confirming your obedience to him and his sizeable bulge. Your ass begins to moisten in preparation - it wanted him, in more ways than one.

He had told you his name, but you already forgot it; he soon would too. ‘Jocky’ was good enough for now.

Jocky was obnoxious in all the right ways, wearing his masculinity on his sleeve. That type made for the best, most severe adjustment.

“Love the buzzcut by the way femmy. Yeah…mhm. Very basic, it suits you.” He rubs a hand over the top of your head before running his fingers through his curly hair. It was a good thing he already liked the look.

*plap plap*

The strong man’s 7 inch cock thrusts in and out of your well used hole, pulling between your lubricated cheeks. Your buttocks squished against his member tightly, every bump rubbing across your hypersensitive skin. You were so hungry. He wasn’t the longest but he definitely had thickness on his side. You pant heavily as he has his way with you. Bent over his bed, facing away from him at a wall. He wasn’t as good at this as he thought, you would know, but it wouldn’t matter for long.

“Mmf. You’re a quiet one. Ah… I- I like that in a bottom. Makes a nice change from…hff. Always whining. Know your place. Fuck.” He continues to drunkenly rant into your ear. His deep, self-aggrandising voice quickly grating on you.

“Uuh. Take it all dumb slut.” You let him have his petty insults, it seemed to make him feel bigger, more in control. Evidently, he was obviously very self obsessed, dumb as you may be, even you could tell that much. The constant glances at his own muscles were enough of a giveaway. Eh. You’d seen better; the change will be a improvement.

He speeds up, sending shockwaves up your body and making your butt bounce enthusiastically.

“H…hey it’s real hot in here.” His voice shakes. “Umf. Maybe we should stop?” He puts his hand on your hip in an attempt to steady himself as he continues pumping you. You begin to push back into him, his dick pushing all the way in.

“Wh… what the fuck. My ass feels…mmm.” He groans loudly. You know how it feels. You can hear them rubbing together already.

His grip on your back weakens, the weight crashing into you softens. His body is like a deflating balloon, his diminishing height bringing him closer to the floor. The girth inside of you shrinks.

“Ahh. So heavy…damn. My-“

“Butt.” You tell him. A slight hint of boredom in your tone.

“Oh god, why does my head… so hard to think.” Right on cue, his smarts were being cleared out, in preparation for his ass to take over thinking duties. This part was your favourite; it wasn’t fair he had all that stuff while you felt so…blank. “Feels so good. Unnf.” It was too late for him to stop it, he’d soon be very happy. Happy, eager and ready to comply. “Shouldn’t though…” You take the lead, rocking back and forth along what’s left of his dwindling shaft. Your buttocks slap against his tightened chest.

*plap plap*

“Bouncy…hehe.” He laughs dimly. You can’t help but echo his giggle, it WAS a funny word. One of your favourites - top 5 at least, right after ‘jiggle’.

“Don’t wanna…fuck…b…but I can’t…but…but.” He stutters, like a scratched record.

“B…bu…Butt. Buuuutt.” His voice moans in realisation, mumbling the word over and over to himself. He shudders, squirting inside of you. It’s okay. It’s never enough to satisfy you.

His tiny cock slips out of your hole, dragging a small string of cum across your sensitive rear. That familiar feeling of emptiness sets back in. You get out from under him and assess your work. Turning to face him, you’re greeted by his broad smile and blank, lust-filled stare. His jockish face and body now heavily twinkified; those boorish muscles, gone. His cocky attitude, subdued. The bed creaks. You check on his oversized ass splayed beneath him, a rather drastic change from his previously flat posterior. Looking even more ridiculous with his shortened stature. The slight rubbery sheen was the cherry on top. Those plastic beach balls were made to twerk and put on a show. A vast improvement, he seems pleased by it too. His left hand is loosely fondling his new selling point.

“O…ohh.” A surprised squeak slips out from his mouth. It’s always a shock when they see where everything has gone.

You’re pretty sure he didn’t have much experience back there, if any at all. He’ll soon get the hang of it.

You know what comes next, what’s required of you - it’s instinctual at this point. You push him onto the bed and position yourself on top of him. You gradually begin to lower your huge rear over his head. You sit snugly down on his blushing face, shifting your weight a bit to get into a comfortable position. His gelled hair tickles against your skin, until it doesn’t…

He’ll make a cute Butt Boy.

[endataraxia]

creepypasta kinks.

featuring eyeless jack, jeff the killer, masky, hoodie, and ticci toby.

cw: nsfw, knifeplay, blood, cnc.

Eyeless Jack finds his libido to only be elevated after his transformation into a demon. A helpless victim writhing in the grasp of his own carnal desires, he is left with no choice and seeks you out.

Marking. You are his. You are his, and every being, every living creature that lays eyes on you has to know it. The bite marks on your skin are perfect, perfect negative impressions of his impressive set of teeth. He finds the blood dripping from the deepest indentations on your neck to be beautiful.

Dirty talk. “Mine, mine, you’re all mine.” He whispers in your ear, licking at it, teasing its shell. Shivers run down your spine.

Manhandling, also linked to a size difference kink. Jack had always been a tall man, but after transforming, he had grown even taller and bigger, beyond what could possibly be considered normal. His silhouette engulfs yours, enabling him to pick you up with ease, toss you on his bed, carry you and fuck you.

Mirrors. He fucks you in front of a mirror and commands you to look at yourself. Look at you, just how delectable you look while his cock thrusts into you. You’re so red, you’re so bothered.

Breeding and creampies. But he’s not done with you yet, he tells you as he watches his seed drip out of your ruined hole. For even if your hole is useless, you still have other ones.

Jeffrey Woods has always been tightly wound, always ready to snap. It’s no surprise he takes his frustrations out fucking you, whether it be hateful fucking, or…well, it’s actually really mostly just that.

Consensual non-consent. You will be his, even when you don’t want to be, or at least act like you don’t. He’ll grab you, by the wrists, your hair, even your neck, and he will take you wherever and whenever he pleases.

Knife play. “You’re so beautiful when you bleed,” he’ll remark, and the occasional, “I want you and I covered all up in your blood.” And so cover himself in your blood he does, your vision fading as you bleed away.

Impact play. He’ll slap you, your butt, your face, wherever he pleases. You are not a person to him, not in that moment. You are his object to fuck and make use of. His pleasure is number one in his mind.

Licking and marking—though not out of affection. It’s a twisted possession, a wicked obsession. His, his, his. Blood drips everywhere. Red is all he sees. Red is all you are. Bleeding out in his bed.

Timothy “Masky” Wright’s personalities blend. Masky, and Tim. No, not Masky; Tim. Not Tim; Masky. Oh, what’s going on in his head? Why can’t he seem to control himself?

- Bondage. He must tie you up. He has to. The Operator wills it. Masky grabs the rope; Tim resists. He mustn’t tie his precious darling up. But Masky has to.

- Kissing. “I’m sorry,” Tim mumbles, and Masky hisses, don’t. But Tim prevails in this moment, and you get your affection, though it does seem like he’s holding back—from smashing your head in.

- Marking. You want to kiss your precious darling, so be it, growls Masky’s voice in the back of his head. But we do it His way. Masky bites at your flesh mercilessly, causing you to bleed, but at least Tim gets to leave his mark on you.

- Creampie—the struggle between Masky and Tim leaves the latter no room, no time to react to his ejaculation. He comes inside of you, and as he groans, he releases his seed. But before he can pull out, Masky commands: Stay.

- We will mark and imbue this wench. This one belongs to Him.

- YOU CANNOT FIGHT HIM.

Brian “Hoodie” Thomas is attractive, there is no denying it. But if a person were to lay eyes on him, with his charismatic smile, the furthest thought from their mind would be his true demeanor around you in the bedroom.

BDSM, namely sadism, bondage, impact play, and power play.

He is sadistic, dishing pain out without a second thought, like a billionaire spending thousands without a second thought. You plead and beg for mercy, a reprieve from the pain on your ass, but he simply smirks and the sting of his spanks begin all over again.

Bondage. For if he is to do what he truly desires to you, you must not be able to resist. “My pretty pretty darling,” he hums in a singsong, “I won’t be done with you anytime soon.”

Impact play. His favorite is flogging, seeing tears run down your face, red marks the exact shape of his weapon appear on your thighs, your chest, your stomach, everywhere. Your tears are everywhere. And as he fingers you, pleasure and pain blur together.

Humiliation. He unbinds you abruptly, causing you to fall to the ground. “On your knees,” he commands, and you have no choice but to obey.

“Worship me,” he whispers to you, and you obey.

You obey.

You obey.

Tobias Erin “Toby” Rogers is relatively inexperienced, but his confidence surprises you every time. Your guard down, he pounces, engulfing you whole.

Consensual non-consent. “Say you don’t want this.” “What?” “Say you don’t want this,” he whispers back, more urgency in his voice. And so you comply.

Zero foreplay. He inserts himself, intruding upon the sanctity of your body, and as you howl in agony your hole wettens itself around him. He sighs in pleasure. Pleasure—it’s only for him.

Crying. Tears. Tears all over your face, snot running down your philtrum unattractively. It all goes to his cock, it all emboldens him. “Cry more,” he whispers, voice trembling in excitement, fingertips wiping away your tears, bringing them to his lips for a taste.

Fear. The fear in your eyes, so enticing, so easy to get lost in. Were your eyes always so fearful of him? Will you never see him the same way again? The thought excites him, his heart races, his thrusts growing more erratic.

Punishment. All of a sudden, he pulls out and comes onto the floor. He turns back to your confused face and orders with surprising presidency in his voice: “Lick it up.”

You stare at him in horror.

[pillow-anime-talk]

Good evening I’d like Poseidon RoR and a fem reader. With a fem reader asking prompt 53 to Hades RoR.

# tags: scenario; current married relationship and kinda fwb; romance; pwp; goddess!reader; nsfw

warnings: mention of sex and sexual activities, size kink, threesome (m/f/m), double fuck, overstimulation, praising, boobs play

includes: female reader ft. poseidon & hades {ror}

author’s note: last but not least! thank you very much :)

53. “Wanna join?”

Your body moved fluidly while shiny eyes adoringly gazing at the man opposite you; both hands gripping tightly onto his muscular shoulders. Poseidon’s hands were placed on your firm butt cheeks, and your pussy was loudly hitting his wet cock every time you bounced on him.

Your huge bedroom was heavily steamed by your breaths, and the only sound spreading around the room was your long moan and the gasps of your husband, the god of the seas, oceans and all bodies of water adored by the Greeks. Lost in the blue of his eyes, you couldn’t stop another loud sigh that escaped from between your lips swollen from kissing. The eternally cold and gloomy Poseidon seemed to be more alive next to you; hence a slight smile appeared on his face as soon as his gaze was caught by your breasts and a drop of sweat running down your sternum.

“You should become a goddess of debauchery.” He whispered directly into your ear, tightening his fingers on your skin, and you only giggled, changing the pace of your movements to a much slower one. “Such a good whore.”

“You like it, don’t you, Poseidon, my love?” You replied with a slight madness in your eye, to which your husband only snorted with laughter. A quick moment later, you felt your body rise and drift in the air, and then your back touched the sheets on the bed. Before you could catch your breath, the lord of water began to fuck you like there was no tomorrow. Your mouth screamed the man’s name faster before your brain thought about it, and you automatically tightened your hands on your husband’s skin. You felt the orgasm approaching and taking over your body. However, before you gave yourself over to the carnal pleasure, your head fell to the right side towards the door. It was on their threshold that through your hazy vision you noticed a tall figure with a male silhouette.

Poseidon certainly sensed the presence of the intruder, but his zero shame allowed him to continue fucking your sore pussy and nibbling on your left, next right, nipple. After releasing another moan from between his lips, the figure began to take on sharper shapes. After a few longer seconds, you realized that the figure standing in the entrance to the bedroom was Poseidon’s older brother – king Hades. He was dressed in his typical black outfit, silver jewelry with the addition of obsidian, and his hairstyle was impeccably done. Before you spoke, Hades rolled his eyes. “Your behavior are about to cause a flood in Halheim.” He said disconsolately, although you both knew that the sight that greeted him was not at all unattractive or annoying. Leaving aside the issues of his brother over your body, your tired figure, predatory look and saliva leaking from the corner of your mouth were one of the most beautiful views Hades had seen in a long time, leaving the world of the dead. You couldn’t pass him by indifferently, knowing how lonely your brother-in-law was; he rarely visited his younger brothers or other Greek gods, he was rather focused on himself and his duties.

“... Wanna join?” You asked in a confident tone, knowing perfectly well that your husband wouldn’t refuse you anything. You could ask him for a star from the sky, and he would get you three of them, knowing perfectly well that they would beautifully decorate your cleavage and ears. You could say that you don’t like kale, and he would get rid of it in the entire kingdom, apologizing to you for this oversight. You could also invite his brother to your bedroom, and he would eagerly await how Hades would take care of your pretty plump mouth and sweet clit.

There was no need to wait long for an answer to your question; on the way to the huge marital bed, Hades got rid of his coat, pants, shoes and shirt. His cock seemed to be the hardest thing in the world, and when your body was thrown again, you could swear that you would cum on your husband’s stomach. This time you were riding Poseidon, and Hades stopped behind your back. While your partner was playing with your nipples one more time, the older man kissed your left shoulder. You felt his dick touch your back, and his hair tickled your skin and forehead.

“You’re quite brave, Y/N.” He said quietly, and you shivered at the sound of his voice and breath on your body. You felt his gaze surround you with an invisible aura.

“After all, I am the wife of Poseidon, the king of every ocean.” You answered, looking down at the aforementioned.

“From today on, also the lover of the lord of death and the dead.” Hades corrected you, simultaneously entering your other, tight hole from behind. The size filling you made you cry out, tightly gripping your husband’s waist. You had never felt such overwhelming energy on your own and in your body. “You are an amazing goddess of sky, Y/N.”

“… She knows about it, Hades... You better fuck her good, brother. I don’t want my queen to be dissatisfied.” Your conversation was interrupted by the blond god, who was measuring his siblings with a cold gaze.

“Don’t worry about that, Poseidon. She will certainly be very pleased.” He bit your earlobe, causing your whole body to tremble.

[ddejavvu]

pairing: james potter x fem!reader ft. remus and sirius

summary: james is surprisingly willing to help you despite only having known you for a few weeks.

contents: reader is on her period, james barges into the bathroom because he's That Close to his friends

Sharing both a room and a bathroom with three men after having shared with four women is jarring, to say the least. Your old roommates could be slobs, of course, but there's something about James's habit barging into the bathroom whenever he pleases that doesn't sit right with you at first. You understand why he'd done it before you'd gotten there; you're sure they all had. You had no problem brushing your teeth beside Lily or Marlene while they were showering or peeing, but now that you're equipped with different tools than the rest of your roommates, it just feels wrong for them to see.

You first encounter it on a Monday morning, an appropriately terrible day for a terrible experience. You've just gotten up, and you're using the bathroom before you get dressed for the day, when James decides he needs to shower right then and there. He shouts a quick, 'Comin' in, mate!' Before turning the knob with the broken lock and storming right in, not giving you enough time to announce your presence.

"Ah- James!" You think you'll die right then and there, hands hovering over your crotch as James realizes what he's done. He's butt naked, probably tired after practice and in need of a steamy shower, but he's not any more enthusiastic about you seeing his parts than you are of him seeing yours, and he scrambles to cover himself up.

"Uh- sorry. I didn't realize it was you, I thought- I thought you had classes this morning. I apologize," He smiles kindly, though his eyes bulge where they're glued to your own, "Uh- you can... get back to business."

Neither of you had looked each other in the eyes for nearly 36 hours, but eventually the awkwardness died down, and you moved on.

Until the second time.

"Y/N," He calls, while you're in the shower, behind the flimsy curtain, "Listen, I know you're in the shower and all, but I'm running late, and I really need to brush my teeth. I don't want to rush you, can I just- just pop in there for a second? I swear I won't look."

You're at a loss for words, mouth opening and closing like a fish while the water streams around you. You appreciate his consideration, you know he doesn't want to scare you off or cross your boundaries, but it's a bold request. You're covered, sure, but the bathroom light is on, and you're sure you've got a silhouette behind the curtain. But you're going to be a while longer, and it's not fair of you to hold James up.

"Uh- sure," You stammer, covering up your chest like he'll be able to see through the curtain with laser eyes, "Come on in."

He doesn't hesitate to rush inside, but he's considerate enough to close the door after himself so that no one else stumbles upon you. You appreciate it, but you're frozen as he brushes his teeth quickly, bidding you a cheery goodbye like he hadn't just skimmed over giving you a heart attack. He shuts the door on his way back out, and there's not an ounce of awkwardness in his tone when he chats with you about his day later.

The third time, the third time is the kicker. You've started your period, the first time since you've been staying with James, Remus, and Sirius. You're sure they wouldn't give you a hard time for it, they seem decent enough so far, but there's just something mortifying about putting a used pad in a man's bathroom trash can.

You've changed your sheets before anyone can see the red stain, but your panties haven't been as fortunate yet. They're laying stained and wet on the ground beside your equally mangled shorts, hopefully not transferring the blood to the fabric below.

You don't get any warning, not enough time to hide them when you hear James's heavy footfalls by the door. He barges in without warning, face shifting to apologetic for only a split second before he registers the bloody clothes on the floor.

"Aah," He yelps, "Fuckin'- Are you wounded? You- oh." His sex education catches up to him, realizing why you've got blood only in the pad of your underwear, "Uh- right. Sorry."

"Get-" You start with a hiss, but you rein yourself in, trying to be kind, "James, can you- can you please get out?"

"Yeah! Yeah, right, I'll-" He motions over his shoulder with his thumb, "Uh- the guys are coming, so I'll head out. And-"

"The- what? Remus and Sirius are on their way back?" You panic, regretting your late wake-up. You could have really used the time they spent at breakfast to clean up."

"Yeah, they're- at the door."

"Close the door!" You urge him, as you hear the two other men enter the room. James does as he's told, but instead of stepping out, he steps in, panicked by your harsh tone of voice.

"Not- no!" You gush, but when he tries correcting himself, you lunge for his hand.

"Don't leave!" You beg, but rush to explain yourself when he frowns worriedly at you.

"I don't-" You whisper, "I don't want them to know I'm in here. Like- like this. If you leave they'll know. Just-" You fall silent with a sigh, "I don't know."

"Right." He nods, keeping his voice down so that it's muffled to Remus and Sirius, "Uh, I'll-"

"James? Mate, m'coming in," Sirius's voice comes from just outside the door, and you and James stare at each other, terrified. He rushes to slam his back against the door, and Sirius is unable to turn the knob.

"No! Uh, you can't-" James stammers, clearing his throat and steeling himself, "Use the bathroom in the hallway. I've got the squirts, mate, you don't wanna be in here with me."

You're lucky that Remus and Sirius groan in disgust, because it muffles your quick snort into your fist.

"You fuckin' animal. I told you not to cram those sausages down your throat," Remus snaps, "Now we can't use it for the rest of the day."

"Yeah, yeah, I've learned my lesson," James promises, shooting you a knowing wink, "Now get out!"

You're fairly certain you hear Sirius groan 'gladly', but you can't be certain. Their footsteps recede, then the outer door shuts, and once again you're alone with James. You wait for him to leave, but he lingers for a moment, politely avoiding staring at your soiled clothes.

"Right, well, they won't be back for a while. Do you want me to leave, too?"

"Uh- no, it's- it's okay," You decide, "You know."

"Yeah. Do you need any," James cringes before he even offers, "Help? I mean, I'm sure you've got wiping down, just- do you want, like, chocolate or something? Doesn't that help?"

"No! No, James, it's alright," You assure him, touched by his offer even if you're also embarrassed by it, "I don't want you to go to any trouble."

"No trouble," He shrugs, letting himself out of the bathroom and hovering in the doorway, "I know where Remus's stash is! He probably won't even notice it's missing, he's got so much. I can snatch some for you?"

"Really, it's okay," You smile kindly at him, still doubled over on the toilet with your elbows covering what you don't want him seeing, "Just- a moment alone, please?"

"Right," He nods with a grin, shutting the door, "Sorry!"

You breathe deep when you finally have a moment alone, cheeks burning with mortification. You're not sure you'll recover from this for a month, conveniently just enough time for it to happen again. You clean yourself up swiftly, not eager to spend more time in the bathroom that's revealed you to your roommate thrice in a month now.

James is kicked back on his bed when you reenter the main room, and he shoots you a kind smile that you bashfully return. You get to work putting new sheets on your bed, but when you move your pillow, you find a chocolate bar tucked under it.

If the sly grin on his face as he turns the page of his book is any indication, he's heard your light chuckle, and knows you appreciate him.

[mothmans-side-ho]

Armand called Lestat a clown in the most round about way

s2e3 hot wired the two passions in my brain into this info dump, however seeing as a central theme of this episode (and the season) is power, status, and their subversions, it seems relevant. for context, I have 2 degrees in theatre, specifically theatre history and how trends effect form. (I am in no way an expert though, and this is very simplified). long story short, I'm relishing in being a big ol nerd about this entire season

FINALLY, we got to see Lestat (a version of) strutting his stuff on stage in a scene with peak commedia dell'arte shenanigans. Commedia dell'arte is/was an originally Italian form of theatre which was defined by lazzi (comedic bits), improv, and stock characters. these stock characters have been around from Roman times and are still super familiar to us today - the young lovers, the pervy old rich man, the soldier with bravado, etc. It's been seen as a somewhat formulaic form of theatre which relied on quickly identifiable characters and situations so audiences can sit back and enjoy the butt jokes and servant beatings.

In the book - specifically The Vampire Lestat - our beloved Lestat RELISHES in playing a character called Lelio, one of the young lovers. It is in playing Lelio that he "found a tongue for verses and wit [he]'d never had in life" (TVL pg 31). It is in playing Lelio that Lestat first gets a taste of the person he can become, and it is in Lelio that we see the first glimpses of the Lestat which so fully seduces Louis. In short, Lestat casts himself as the suave and handsome romantic protagonist, here to sweep people off their feet. The young lovers are also notably some of the only roles portrayed without masks, to emphasize their youth and natural beauty.

SO IMAGINE MY SURPRISE WHEN LESTAT SHOWS UP IN S2E3 DRESSED LIKE THIS:

He has a half mask! He's wearing all sorts of colors! He's clearly acting as a go between between two other characters who seem to be of a higher status than him! As I said before, commedia dell'arte can be very formulaic (especially by the late 1700s when it is being codified away from being improv focused to being cemented into scripts). From all of these visual and characterization clues, Lestat is not playing Lelio the young lover, he's playing a Harlequin! And his costume seems to be heavily based off of this Harlequin (Arlecchino, Arlecino, etc.) which is literally the wikipedia image of a Harlequin.

(note, if you give a fuck, this image is depicting an Arlechino from 1671, roughly 125 years before Lestat on stage. in my mind, this accounts for the changes in silhouette, styling, why Lestat doesn't wear the mask for the entirety of the performance, etc. Also, just while we're talking about costuming, I believe the late 18th Century was still a time in which actors would have been expected to provide their own costumes, which would explain why Lestat's version is made with expensive fabrics and includes cunty little details like the bow in his hair. At the very least, I can see him making looking good a priority as the owner of the theater and as...well...Lestat.)

Okay, okay, okay. Why does this matter?

Harlequins are not characters of any social status. They're servants who are quick witted enough to get into antics but stupid enough to be commanded by animalistic instincts (lust, food, you name it). The Harlequin being beaten by their master was ENORMOUSLY funny, and is the origin of the term "slapstick comedy". They a memorable iteration of clown.

In this scene, which I'm willing to bet was inspired by (if not outright) Carlo Goldoni's A Servant of Two Masters, Lestat plays a servant who interacts with two characters. One appears to be a young woman in a breeches part - another common trope of commedia performance. The other appears to be the young male lover! We see Lestat prancing between the two, seemingly facilitating some romance plot, being paid for his compliance, and doing a good ol fashioned butt lazzi. (Could he be presenting his ass for beating? Maybe.)

So why is Lestat not the young valiant lover, but instead A LITERAL CLOWN? Three potential, not conflicting, reasons. By the time Lestat is performing (mid to late 1790s, based off Armand's earlier comment about Robespierre's 1794 execution), the Harlequin characters were the most sought after roles! At this time, we are seeing the emergence of "Celebrity Culture" where audiences sought out actors for their off-stage personalities as much as their on-stage ones. This is an extremely fitting position for Lestat to fall into. Yay a semblance of historical accuracy!

Secondly, Lestat's ENTIRE ROLE in season two is to come between this season's new pair of young(ish) lovers: Louis & Armand. Lestat's function is to repeatedly detract and distract from their relationship through Dreamstat's antics (appearing at the piano calling Louis a whore, having Louis re-kill him, etc.). Additionally, simply put, Lestat (and Sam Reid as Lestat) is a lot of fun to watch. He is absolutely a stand out (if not THE stand out) of the show! His constant ability to serve cunt is often what your eye is drawn to, he pulls focus to himself, and often undercuts the more subdued, philosophical, and morose nature of others. Both on-stage and on-screen, Lestat continuously upstages his screen partners. He does kinda function as a Harlequin. But in the end, the Harlequin's antics are also what ultimately drive the young lovers together. If not for Lestat's actions, Louis and Armand would have never met nor bonded over knowing this fucked up brat prince.

But we also have to remember! This portion of the episode is presented by Armand the mind fuckery master. It is absolutely in his best interests to paint Lestat as some sort of ridiculous, lesser being driven by animalistic nature. Especially if - by extension of the metaphor - this frames he and Louis as the virtuous and optimistic young lovers, striving to cling to each other in a world of chaos. I would be EXTREMELY interested to see if, when recollected by someone else, Lestat appears in a different role or characterized differently.

Again, given the celebrity culture of the time and Lestat being himself, it is entirely believable that he would appear in the Harlequin role (Truffaldino, if this is Goldoni's Servant). However, I think it's extremely telling that in Armand's iteration of the story Lestat is not the dignified, refined, and sympathetic young romantic. He is instead a literal fucking clown.

[boba-beom]

smiles.. perv bsf taehyun..

naomi omg you don't even understand, my face dropped 😵‍💫 perv!bsf taehyun coming right up— NSFW

bsf!taehyun whose hand placement advances every so slightly every time you're together. his hand on your back last time? this time it inches even lower just above your butt but it doesn't faze you. your hugs? his toned arms wrapped around you and his pretty hands perfectly resting on your waist; he just loves the feeling of your figure against his.

bsf!taehyun whose eyes linger on your chest when you wear something accentuating like a fitted or low neck top. a bonus when you're wearing your short shorts around the house and he just traces your silhouette from the back of your thigh to where just under your ass, definitely has him looking for a cushion or just pulling his hoodie over his growing tent in his sweats.

bsf!taehyun who lays down in your bed while you're getting ready to go out with your friends, 'scrolling' through his phone but while you change between potential outfits, his eyes stray away from the screen, ogling your figure and your bare back with the sight of you in your bra.

bsf!taehyun who rests his hands on your hips as he passes by you despite there being so much space around you both. occasionally, he purposely chooses to squeeze between you and whatever obstacle just so your ass brushes against his crotch, he'll look down and at the contact and hopes he doesn't pop a boner asap.

bsf!taehyun who can't stop staring at your plush thighs when you sit beside him, whether you're wearing jeans, a skirt or shorts. he loves the way the expand and wishes he could have your thighs warming up his ears for him.

bsf!taehyun who lets you lay your head on his lap, your lips slightly parted as he looks down at you, but he just thinks about how close your head is to where he'd love it the most. thinking about how pretty your lips would be around the head of his blushed tip, even the thought of you kitten licking his tip while maintaining eye contact.

bsf!taehyun who gets himself off in the bathroom of the party you're both at, where your tipsy self was supposedly all over him; chest pressed up against him, arms over his shoulders and hands playing with the hair at the nap of his neck. the dim lights hitting different as he looks at you in close proximity as you let him roam his hands along your sides.

bsf!taehyun who doesn't stop thinking about the way you look after a good cry, as bad as it sounds, he loves the way the tears twinkle among your lashes, your cheeks flushed and warm, just thinking about how you'd look if you would just let him ruin you at least once.

bsf!taehyun who lets you sit on his lap on the couch while watching a movie with the boys, lights dim and only from the tv, a blanket shared between the both of you, your ass apply the slightest pressure and friction on his growing boner, him monitoring your heavy breathing and has him controlling his breathing too.

bsf!taehyun who doesn't know that you love the way he touches you here and there, acting so nonchalant and oblivious when he checks you out.

bsf!taehyun whose name leaves your lips late at night as you touch yourself, just remembering the way his body feels against yours after long hugs, the way his arms feel around your waist when you walk together and the way he looks after he took a shower at yours earlier in the day after a good gym session.

bsf!taehyun who doesn't know that he's the reason you turn down other guys, because you just want him. label or not.

© BOBA-BEOM ; do not repost, alter, translate, or claim as yours on here or any other platform.

[wishingstarinajar]

Gonna throw out my thoughts and opinions about Earthspark Season 3. A fair warning that it isn't all that positive.

Spoilers under the cut!

What I liked about season 3:

Frenzy and Lazerbeak, fuck yeah! They were funny.

Prowl, for the most part.

Mopey and pouty Megatron (though perhaps that was a bit too much for too long).

The beef between Prowl and Megatron, which I'd have liked to last for far longer than it did in S3.

Agent Schloder, I miss you.

Beryllium baloney!

My gripes:

The new studio and writers.

The Quintessons felt like a not-thought-through plan to add a 2nd Big Bad to the series while cashing in on nostalgia. They were poorly executed. Not terrible but still not great.

The Chaos Terrans also felt like an afterthought in season 3.

The way I see it, we lost the Decepticons because the cast grew far too large for the climax thanks to the 2nd Big Bad of seasons 2 and 3 and new cast additions.

Because of the huge cast, characters often had to get hurt or be set aside for the dumbest reasons, all so that others could have their few seconds of spotlight/attention.

Why does this studio have such an issue with animating mouths?

It seems they couldn't get a hold of Keith David for Grimlock (or didn't have the budget to pay him) for this season. The awkward silences with Grimlock were, yeah, awkward.

While logical, Shockwave was too soft of a Decepticon leader and frankly, doomed all Decepticons to stay stuck in the dome. Though of course, the dome was a plot device to keep the Decepticons separated from the Quintesson plot line.

Breakdown's betrayal of Bumblebee was ?????.

The Quintesson ship was a drill! Why did you use the ship's screw shape and turn it vertically only not to use it like a drill a la 80s movie fashion?? screeee--

The writers tried to make Cosmos a silly little guy but missed the mark. Sorry Weird Al, at least you're funnier in other cameos.

Showing Starscream's silhouette behind the Titan's optic a few times as if he was going to be of importance later was a bit insulting, especially after it turns out he lost his marbles and held tea parties in the Titan's head with the "corpses" of the Chaos Terrans. He got to do nothing. Thanks, writing team.

Stiff action scenes compared to Season 1.

Nobody asked for a whole episode dedicated to Fairmaestro in an already extremely limited season 3. Nobody.

Prowl was fine and an interesting addition to the team until the 2nd half of the final episode. Another victim of "rushing the plot".

Elita-1 and Arcee are too similar in personality and fighting spirit and, while I have no problem at all with tough strong women in a series, I'd have liked at least one softer lady in the cast. Not all women have to kick butt.

Megatron's propellers are deemed "too old-fashioned" for a mission requiring flyers, so Cosmos and Prowl (who has two cool but "flimsy" thrusters) were put on the case instead. Fair, I guess? Yet the moment Prowl is out of commission, Nightshade replaces him. I mean, what makes Nightshade stronger than Megatron?

Optimus makes a big deal toward Prowl about taking the spark revival key with him after leaving Cybertron, implying it is an important artifact, but he is totally fine with Mo nabbing it AND holding onto it like an oversized necklace.

The underwater fight scene with Robby and Mo on the Quintesson ship was boring and had bad sound mixing.

Why was Dottie reduced to Megatron's "army support human"?

I know I complain about the cast being too big but where was Tarantulas and when will he and Nightshade interact again?

I get Witwicky is a town in the middle of nowhere, but I don't think there is any forest or wildlife left with Terratronus stomping about.

Dafak was that snow rendering and animation?

Dafak was that drive-in theater episode?

Dafak was this season??

[writinandcrying]

TMNT ONE SHOT - Holiday Season - A Special gift

Christmas was not your favorite holiday, at least you had a mutant turtle to help out in this trying times (GN READER, Tw: dysfunctional family, arguments and bickering related to food, crying mentioned)

Fluff - makeout / first kiss with *insert turtle you like* after a shitty xmas (English isn’t my first language and I didn’t proof read this 😗✌️, pls don’t hesitante to correct me if you see something off putting, I hope you guys still like it!)

You climb up the last steps of the fire scape connecting the roof top of your building, dragging your feet as you groan one last time, it’s impressive you can hear your relatives arguing several stores bellow, you have lost count how many times people can pick on each other on their free will. You drag your hands along your face and sigh, you want nothing more but to distance yourself from that.

You didn’t get to feel much of The “Christmas spirit” everyone seem to love and cherish since you left your childhood years, and it seems that every year you learn to dislike December a little bit more. As much as The Grinch was deeply relatable for you lately, you didn’t want it to be, having a dysfunctional family in such a tender Holiday was kinda like receiving punch in the gut every day until 25th of December died out. After the first 10, the warm smiles and happy wishes over a great season seem to constantly mock your misery, leaving you bitter and resentful.

Leaning over the edge of your building, you check the many light up windows and different narratives playing along on your neighborhood, a family all gathered up taking a picture by their decorated tree on the left, you let a chuckle out by thrilled parents filming a rather young child by your right, to what it seems taking their first steps by their excitement.

it was nice seeing different kind of life’s playing along the fairy lights on the streets bellow, secretly wishing yours would be a little bit like theirs, reality seems distant as you accidentally disassociate, thinking how -your- family would be seen compared to those merry ones, your parents resentment growing against each other every minute, barking mean comments left and right to you messing apparently everything up. The perfect picture of a broken home. Awful to see, awful to be part of.

You sigh as you recall what drove you to the edge moments ago, a silly comment really, it was so small compared to the constant bickering around the whole month of December, but picking on you eating a single cookie? That you made? You spent the whole day cooking. The whole day trying to have a good Christmas, you can feel yourself fuming as you remember how much you have worked your ass off the whole month for their presents, for a good Christmas dinner, as they wouldnt even buy a single pair of sock for you. Give you a single “thank you” for all of your efforts, You tried, you really did, Despite all the odds against your favor, you still tried, when you finally decide you give yourself a taste of your hard work, your family dares to give you shit about your eating habits? No. Nuh uh.

That was the last drop. You marched to your room as you heard someone giving you shit one last time after harshly dropping the plate on the dining table. knew you would be screwed when they found out you were gone, no amount of locks would keep them at bay for longer than 2 to 3 hours. But god, you needed a time out. Yes, you would rather freeze your butt on a dirty and frozen roof top than to listen to another passive aggressive bullshit comment.

“you have been hiding here all this time?” A familiar voice fills out of the foggyness of your thoughts, your head turns around slightly, watching a well known silhouette marvelously shining through the moonlight “nobody’s seen you in days” his tone isn’t harsh or accusative, you can almost hear a incredulous chuckle out of him, he speaks lightly, curious to your whereabouts, you can also hear him landing near the regular rooftop entrance, you stare once again to the uncountable windows and buildings in front of you.

He waits for you to retaliate, reply with witty comeback, flash him an apologetic smile, anything, but silence wins you over. He knew something was up when you were this quiet, your family would be the main topic when you vanished like that, he also knew you needed space to deal with such matter, in due time, you would ask for comfort, you would seek for his presence, just like when he comes to you, yet this time it never came, you never came. The ninja turtle slowly leans over, trailing his eyes ahead as you do.

A sniff catches him off guard, he knows it shouldnt, but it does, he glances at you to finally see your glossy eyes staring ahead, a blush covering your cheeks and nose; You look adorable, sad, disappointed, frustrated, but still can’t help but to find you adorable, his hearts stings as you rapidly catch a sneaky tear roll down your cheek, turning your back at him before he can catch you in this arms.

“Didn’t want to bother.” your voice comes out more shaky than you would like, a bit hoarse due to the current season, you rub your hands together, if he questioned about your well being, you could just blame it on the cold weather,on the perfect snowflakes falling above you two.

“You could never bother” he trails along slowly, weary as if you were a scared cat, afraid that any hasty movement could make you dash “how about we go to the lair? Everyone misses you.” he gently places a hand on your back, “I miss you” he ponders, moving slowly to be by your side, your eyes don’t meet his, he wants to lean down, he wants your eyes locked on his, he wants you to trust him as much as he trusts you, he wants nothing more but to hold you close and kiss your sorrows and tears away.

he stays put instead, waiting on your call.

You instinctively turns towards him, his warmth drawing you in, you want to smile, to tell him over and over that eveything is fine, you were just busy, he doesn’t have to worry.

Instead your mouth is pressed in a tight line, you can feel your lips trembling when you try to speak, you know words will come out wobbly, and for the first time, you won’t be able to hold back tears in front of him. This is pathetic. You think, you want to be at the lair. You want to be near them, but how can you explain you can’t bare to see their love, brotherhood and companionship tonight? You can’t feel part of it? This night isn’t about you, it has never been and it will never will be, you just get used to it.

You look up; your thoughts swimming through your eyes, you open and close your mouth, how do you explain you crave affection, but can’t seem to bear it?

The turtle holds you in a swift movement, carrying you with ease, gently but still firmly holding you against his plastron in princess style, the familiar adrenaline rushes trough you as you can feel him jumping from roof top to roof top, you don’t have words to question him, astoundingly admiring him as you stare at his focused face facing the horizon ahead.

You close your eyes for a moment, learning your face over the valley of his neck and collarbone, in a blink of an eye, songs, chatter and laughter fills the air and you remember you are in New York , the most magical city to be this time of year. Yes, you had probably the crappiest month of your life, but for a moment, you let yourself drift away in bliss, focusing on sounds and passing colorful lights.

He settles both you on a empty office balcony, everything is dark inside accept for the faint lights on a very worn out tree looking back at you, you check your own reflection, your eyes are red and puffy, your hair is uneven, and there are millions of colors shining behind you.

The Rockefeller was the most iconic place all over New York during Christmas time, slowly turning around, the tree and it’s surroundings leaving you both speechless, you loved Christmas lights, it was impressive to say the least how the decorations were absolutely ethereal. ever so slowly, you both sit down and admire the virw quietly.

“You don’t have to deal with everything on your own” is the first line he graces you, you wanna laugh with that alone, look who’s talking you think over, but you can’t say it, you know he is right, he chuckles as if he could read your mind, he gently tilts your head upwards “next time, call me. Text me. Reach out, for goddess sake.” He smiles at you, you let out a huff, smiling shyly “you have so much on your plate already, I just, I didn’t-“

“You deserve so much better” he shakes his head, lips pressed in a thin line. Over many years of his life, he has thought he had too little and humans had absolutely everything on top side, it was unfair and left a sour taste over his mouth. you have shown him that kind of thought was childish, he had a family, he had people he could count on, that’s alone is a lot more than what many people have, He can’t take that fact for granted anymore.

He also knew your biggest wish was to be part of something like that, his biggest wish was to make you feel part of it, maybe even something more.

You shyly lace your pinky with one of his fingers, ducking away as you felt your face burning under his deep gaze, you were so appreciative of his family, of him, of his patience and dedication, to say you have a crush on the turtle was an understatement, everything the he did made your heart skip a beat, the way he would always seek out for you during hangouts, how he cared for your preferences and well being, you found yourself unable to look away when he was training, when he would laughs so care freely, when he gets lost on his interests and everything seems to slow down around the both of you. You rest your head gently over his shoulder, you know you can get lost in his eyes quickly, you bite your lip when you think of his, and how heavenly it would feel against yours.

“It’s alright..” that what you manage to come up with, it’s cheap and it’s empty, but you don’t know what else to say. “No it’s not.” He says it firmly, interlocking your fingers tightly to prove his point.

Sometimes, you swear he feels the same as you do, you swear you can catch a soft longing from him across the dinging table, across the dojo over self defense training, short glances that are filled with unspoken words, that the innocent touches are not so innocent anymore. but life has taught you not to hang on those wishes, not to have hope. It was hurtful to do so.

“why do you care?” you let a frustrated sigh out, you hate how you just asked that the moment the words left your mouth, you aren’t frustrated at him per say, more towards your feelings, at how clammy your hands feel around his, how fast your heart is beating, how you secretly hope he knows that you didn’t mean to let that question out, how much of a chicken you were, how you fought annoying daydreaming scenarios with him on daily basis and yet just wish he kissed you already.

“Because I do.” he makes you look at him again, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, and for the first time tonight, you look at him, you really look at him, how he is breathing fast, how dilated his pupils are when he looks at you, how his thumb drags temptingly over the bottom of your lips, letting out a shaky breath as he squeezes your hand one last time.

“because I just do.” His gaze is locked in yours, pleading, full of what you have denied yourself for years, telling eveything you have ever wanted without any words. He was yours, and you are his.

you finally tell yourself fuck it and kiss him.

It’s desperate, it’s passionate, it’s eveything you want and more, you drag your nails on the nape of his neck and draws him into your space, your chest hits is plastron as he grips your hips as he pins you down against the ground, the way you hook one of your leg on top of his shell drives out a moan out of him, making you arch your back, you nibble his bottom lip as you swear you gonna lose your mind.

You don’t know how long has passed, your grip on him is as strong as his as you lay beneath him, you makeout until you are both out of breath, until the anger and frustration has been worn out and you two slowly melt together, once fervent kisses turns into soft, gentle ones, until you are both looking at each other, smiling and giving pecks between giggles, translating eveything you have both been feeling towards each other

“Goddamn.” he draws a hearty laugh out of both you, the turtle rests is forehead against yours, sighing dreamily, giving you feather light kisses on your cheeks as you pull him closer.

“I care a lot about you too.” you drunkly smile to him, caressing his cheeks tenderly, “I sure hope so.” you hook your arms around his neck, laughing at his antics.

“I gotta tell you something tho.” you tilt your head curiously, he looks down at your lips, licking instinctively as you bite yours.

“you surprisingly taste like gingerbread cookies”

That makes you giggle once more.

——————————————————————————

It’s 3 am and Idk how to finish so hopefully the end it’s not too abrupt *confetti sounds* 🎉 let me know if you guys liked it!

[aratedfreyjablog]

Theory Talk on the Newest Character Introduced in Beel's Butt Card, Dong-gyun

A/N: Spoil-tagging for etiquette purposes (i.e., for those who haven't read story and comic and don't want to get spoiled)

Maybe it's wishful thinking or simply my delusional-self taking things too far but I don't think Dong-gyun is a simple or rather "insignificant" NPC. If he was, like the rest of the NPCs so far, he wouldn't have been given a name and a well-developed/fleshed-out sprite. Instead, he would've been labeled as " ___ - A" and have a silhouette.

At minimum, he will be an important NPC that will impact the main story like Samael and Nina where the tragic couples were NPCs that played a critical role in introducing the concept of angelification, which then had led to concept of "the Seed of Knowledge".

Now the question is who can he possibility? The theories that I have so far are:

He's a lower-rank demon who ends up gaining the strength to that of 72 demons

Dong-gyun is actually one of the 72 demons but disguising himself as someone weak to stay out of radar

The reasons behind these two theories is because of Beel's butt comic.

Unlike the rest of demons of Avisos, who still show their respect and reverence towards their king, Dong-gyun doesn't hesitate roast the living life out of him (which was extremely hilarious since Beel actually got mad over it). Even if those in Avisos are friendly and close, I can't help but think, out of the fact they still care for him and he's still their king, they wouldn't go as far as to roast him to his face. At least.

It seems like the second theory I stated is what a lot of people are thinking as well, some even saying that Dong-gyun may actually be Belphegor. I, personally, would be surprised if that was the case since the concept of "laziness" is might be different to how everyone has initially have thought ("laziness" = not wanting to do anything to the point of not moving an inch versus "laziness" = simply not wanting to work and be proactive).

Either way, I hope PB invests in Dong-gyun not only because I want him to become a playable character and pull him as an S so I could simp over him, but there's a lot of hidden potential with him that will bring a lot of excitement to the game.

I wonder if there's a way to see the Hanja/traditional Chinese characters of his name to see if there's any hint since Hanja (which is equivalent to Kanji but for korean) can reveal the meaning behind a name....

[centercitychronicals]

Shadow monster x reader

A day late, but allergy medicine has been kicking my butt with being able to write out a whole one shot and not partial ones.

TW: Allergy med use

Chin in your hand, your eyes softened as you stared at the shadowed figure in the doorway across from you. Your allergies had been making you miserable as of late, and as so you had been upping the dosage of your benadryl each day until it had you staring off into space, more often than not. The caffeine you were constantly downing to counteract the drowsiness only helping so much at this point.

Really, you had to be delirious if seeing the Hat Man, of all beings, had you sighing out softly at just how pretty he was.

The longer you stared, the more depth you could make out and the less you felt scared by his sudden appearance. You had never seen the Hat Man until now, and distantly you worried that maybe you had finally taken too high a dosage. That your brain was desperately trying to give you something to latch onto to keep from passing out and landing in a coma.

But honestly? You felt to relaxed and blissed out to really care, not when he was staring you down and causing your heart to race. Surely that had to be a good sign at least?

You clearly had poor judgement, in this state, what else could explain what you said next?

"So pretty..."

Yep, you definitely had lost the plot, but sighing that out at least seemed to elicit a response out of the shadow creature. His head cocked to the side, looking like it was in slow motion when he moved. Somehow, you could tell that through him for a loop, that he seemed... flustered?

Of course, there was no sound made to confirm the suspicion, he was a shadow. Though you could also tell he was questioning that remark. That he seemed to blush, if the slightly darker shading meant anything. So flustered was probably right.

Head slightly tilting to the side, while still resting atop your palm, you considered him. The Hat Man really was pretty, all shades of black and with a silhouette that was streamlined and proportionate.

...

What were you thinking just now?..

...

Oh, right. The shadow monster across from you...

Did he just move closer?..

...

Shaking your head to try and clear the sleepy fogginess of allergy med exhaustion, you sighed dreamily again as you began to slump forwards.

He really did look nice, if also making you feel a bit unnerved, but you were honestly too fatigued to notice that feeling right now. Too unbothered to care really.

...

Blinking owlishly, you began to nod off, no longer able to keep fighting the exhaustion. Another slow, heavy blink and suddenly he was right in front of you, peering down at you curiously and you gave a tired smile. You hoped he was just as intrigued with you as you were with him.

Then maybe he would be back the next time you took the meds. Maybe he would...

Something that felt like the shadows of a tree in the hot sun came over you. Somehow you felt it mostly atop your head, but it was nice. It felt like a soft caress. A gentle petting and you let out a soft sound. That felt nice.

Within moments you were lulled into a peaceful rest.

[bethanythebogwitch]

Digimon 2023 tier list

As 2023 is about to end, I'm gonna rank the new Digimon that debuted this year. This is purely my opinion based on how much I like each species. My tier list will run from S to D, with S being my favorite and D being my least favorite. I will only put one in each S and D. A will be Digimon I really like, B will be Digimon I like but not as much, and C will be ones I'm more ambivalent toward. I want to say that I don't dislike any of the new Digimon from this year, I just like some more than others.

The only new full evolution line we got this year is the Loogamon line. The baby stages are Fusamon and Bowmon. They're both cute and perfectly good Digimon, but it's generally hard for me to get excited about baby stages compared to the later stages. C-tier for both.

Loogamon is fun for being a new prototype Digimon with ties to Dorumon and Ryudamon via Seekers. I do think canine Digimon are overdone, but Loogamon sticks out nicely among the flood of Garurumon expies, which is a definite plus. I think I like it more than previous expies like Gaogamon and Dorulumon. I'll give it B-tier

Loogarmon I quite like. Again, canine Digimon are overdone, but this one manages to have a much more unique silhouette than the likes of Gaogamon, Dorulumon, and Fangmon. I love that the fire it breathes formes a muzzle, that's such a cool and unique idea. The wolf Digimon being a scary werewolf/garm monster is also a great step away from preguous Garurumon-style Digimon. A-tier.

The two Perfect/Ultimate level forms for Loogamon are Heloogarmon and Soloogarmon, with Heloogarmon being intended as a dark evolution, like the SkullGreymon of the Loogamon line. It's a badass werewolf made of hellfire that has the uncontrollable instinct to burn everything around it in a mindless rage. That is such a cool and scary concept, I absolutely love it. Easy A-tier. Soloogarmon as the good evolution is a lot less cool to me. Its the red-headed stepchild of the Loogamon family. I'm not a fan of how so many high-level Digimon turn into bipeds and Soloogarmon is definitely guilty of this. The mechanical elements also feel out of place compared to the rest of the line and that giant canister on its butt is just weird. The weapon being a wrench/lightsaber is cool, I just think it should be on a Digimon themed around engineering. I definitely prefer Heloogarmon as the Loogarmon evolution. I'm putting it on the bottom of C-tier because there is one I like less.

The Ultimate/Mega level is Fenriloogamon and I love it. Another quadrupedal Ultimate/Mega partner for a main character has been a long time coming as they're usually humanoid. For example, all the partner final forms from Ghost Game, the most recent anime, looked like people in costumes. A blue, flaming werewolf clad in silver armor is such a cool concept. I would love to see Fenriloogamon animated or in a video game. The Norse Mythology theme is also cool. Easy A-tier. Fenriloogamon also has another form called Fenriloogamon Takemikazuchi which looks like if Zacian from Pokemon was designed by a heavy metal album cover artist. The blade it bears is Kazuchimon transformed into a sword. It look me longer than it should to realize that Fenriloogamon Takemikazuchi is a reference to Alphamon Oryuken where Oryumon turns itself into a weapon for Alphamon. Given that the Dorumon and Ryudamon lines are in Seekers, we may see Alphamon Oryuken meet Fenriloogamon Takemikazuchi. I also give this one an A-tier.

Commandramon is a high contender for my favorite Digimon of all time (which is ironic given how anti-military I am in real life), so I was super happy to see new evolutions of it for Seekers. Heck, the D-Brigade will be featuring in the Digimon Adventure fanfic I've been working on (please give me constructive criticism on what I have so far) Commandramon itself is not in this list because it's been out for a long time now. The new Adult/Champion level evolution is Hi-Commandramon, which is such an amazing evolution for Commandramon. I think its a better evolution than Sealsdramon, even though in canon Hi-Commandramon evolves from Commandramon who failed the test to become Sealsdramon. Hi-Commandramon is like Digimon distilled into one design, a high-tech cyborg dinosaur with military equipment. It may be a bit early in my tier list, but Hi-Commandramon is my S-tier.

The new Perfect/Ultimate level for Commandramon is Cargodramon, a dragon tiltrotor. It gives some air support and transportation to the army that is the D-Brigade. Cargodramon is definitely a callback to Tankdramon as the weirdly out of place vehicle evolution of Commandramon. I give it a B-tier.

Brigadramon is the new Ultimate/Mega level for the D-Brigade. In-universe, it was designed for a replacement for the original Darkdramon after that one went rogue. It acts as a commander that surveys from the air and guns down enemies from above. While I still prefer Darkdramon as a Commandramon evolution, Brigadramon is still great. It also works as an evolution for a ton of different Digimon without seeming out of place, which is a great factor in a series like Digimon with branching evolution lines. Off the top of my head, I can see virus MetalGreymon, MetalGreymon 2010, Gigadramon, and maybe Jazarichmon all evolving to Brigadramon. Easy A-tier.

Two new related Digimon are Luxmon and ArkhaiAngemon, who are both new angel Digimon. Luxmon is the new Child/Rookie level angel Digimon. I really like Luxmon, I think it's a great starting point for any angelic or holy line and I like that it looks like a child Angemon in footie pajamas. This may be heresy to say, but Luxmon is a better Angemon pre-evo than Patamon. I give it A-tier. ArkhaiAngemon is a new Perfect/Ultimate level angel and I do like it, but I think its probably the last interesting angel of its level compared to HolyAngemon and Angewomon. I kind of wish we got another feminine angel Digimon of this level (or any angel thats not a blonde white person) because it could be a great through line between Dacmon and LovelyAngemon without having to double-up on using Angewomon as the Perfect/Ultimate level when she's pretty firmly established as Ophanimon's pre-evo. I'll give ArkhaiAngemon a B-tier.

Quantumon is a cool design and is neat as the closest we've gotten to a Digimon form of Adventure's Homeostasis (even though she appeared in a completely different continuity). I Also appreciate another feminine Ultimate/Mega that's not sexualized. Honestly the biggest thing I have against Quantumon is that the end of Ghost Game sucked. I give her a B-tier.

Cthyllamon as an evil MarineAngemon is neat, but more interesting is that it many be a refenrence to an obscure bit of the franchise. Bck in the Digimon Accel virtual pets, multiple existing Digimon got Blast Modes. These modes only existed in those games and don't have reference book entries. One of these was MarineAngemon Blast Mode, which looked like an angry MarineAngemon with bat wings. We never got anything more than sprite artwork for the Blast Modes, but given the similarities, I think Cthyllamon is a callback to MarineAngemon Blast Mode. For that, I'll give it an A.

All the new Digimon introduced in Digimon New Century have bee great and Dijiangmon is no exception. As far as evil Digimon go, Dijiangmon is a interesting one. Instead of destroying things or raising armies, it just hangs out, being completely expressionless and never making a sound. It also has the power to telepathically induce other Digimon to fight. It's like the Digimon version of a creepypasta monster. I like it. A-tier.

A Digimon that has been announced but not yet fully released is Tlalocmon. We have the art and the knowledge that it's a Jogress/DNA Digivolution of Eldoradimon and SaberLeomon, but no lore yet. Despite that, what we have is super cool. It's an adorable Ultimate/Mega level, which is super rare, and its named after the Aztec god of rain Tlaloc. A twitter Digimon fan and Mesoamerican history enthusiast did a big post breaking down the design influences and mythological references in Tlalocmon that you should definitely read. Easy A for Tlalocmon and I can't wait to see it in action.

Another announced by not yet released Digimon that will be coming from New Century is Takutomon. I'm gonna be honest, I'm not nearly as excited about this one as I am about Tlalocmon. The design is fine, but I'm not too excited about another "dude in a costume" Ultimate/Mega level. Maybe my opinion will change as we get more information, but for now it's C-tier.

The final new Digimon released this year (not counting the one teased in the announcement for the new card game project which we don't even have a name for yet) is BigUkkamon. The name says it all, it's Ukkamon but bigger. And pink. And with less detail. Gotta say, this one is pretty boring. They didn't even include the weird head tree thing from 02 The Beginning in its official art. The lore is decent, but BigUkkamon is just bland. This one's the D-tier.

To recap:

S-tier: Hi-Commandramon

A-tier: Loogarmon, Heloogarmon, Fenriloogamon, Fenriloogamon Takemikazuchi, Brigadramon, Luxmon, Cthyllamon, Dijiangmon, and Tlalocmon

B-tier: Loogamon, Cargodramon, ArkhaiAngemon, and Quantumon

C-tier: Fusamon, Bowmon, Takutomon, and Soloogarmon

D-tier: BigUkkamon

Between Seekers, 02 The Beginning, and announcements for new card came and video game projects, 2023 was pretty good for Digimon. Hopefully next year keep on going and helps the Digimon renaissance keep going.

[a-pink-beau]

FFXIV Write 2024 #13 - Butte

Summary: Ar'beunti early in her journey, switches from a summoner to a black mage with Papalymo's assistance.

Content Warnings: None

Spoilers: None. Set during ARR

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The ground shakes as rocks and rubble tumble down the cliffside. Another explosion strikes the side of the cliff, rocks fly in all directions. Another blast, larger than the last, the rubble flying its furthest so far. Small rocks clatter against the ground and roll past a tattered boot. Wearing this boot is Ar’beunti, wearing dark robes and readying a large staff, fire growing around the gem sitting atop of it. She throws her arm forward and fire flings from the weapon and screams toward the wall of rock, detonating in impact, crumbling the butte all the more.

“Ah, yes- now would be about the time you should switch to channelling ice aspected-”

Another explosion interrupts Papalymo as Beau casts Fire once more. Beau focuses her energy into the staff yet again, but finds herself straining. A few sparks flash from the staff, but nothing more. Papalymo closes the distance between them, patting some dust from his robes. “Hmm. Yes. Now this is what I was trying to help you avoid. Thaumaturgy is more than just fire, fire, fire, Ar’beunti. It requires at least some semblance of balance between ice and fire.”

Ar’beunti pants as her exhaustion catches up with her. She wipes her brow and places her hands on her knees as she gives the Lalafell a dirty look. Papalymo furrows his brow. “If you don’t want to acknowledge the fundamentals, then you can return to being a Summoner. No one is forcing you to take up a new craft.” Beau stands upright.

“Summoner isn’t for me… and I need to catch up… to where I was before…” Beau says, still out of breath.” Papalymo places his arms behind his back.

“Then you better start listening. You have a lot of ground to cover.” Papalymo takes a deep breath, pacing in front of Beau, swishing the air with his hand. “Thanalan is fairly warm today. Do you know what will help you cool off? Help you regain your energy?” Beau side eyes Papalymo. “Switch. To. Ice.”

Beau tightens her grip on her staff and focuses, the air beginning to cool around both of them. Papalymo nods his head in approval. A small blue glow forms at the staff and Beau throws her arm forward, Blizzard flying through the air, over Papalymo’s head and striking the butte once more. “Very well done! Now keep that up and-” the ground begins to rumble. Papalymo slowly turns to look toward the large rock formation the two have been using as target practice. Cracks start splintering from the crater, the large pillars of stone start to tilt. “Ah. Well. We should vacate the area now, I would think.” The cracks zip down and along the base of the butte and large sections start tumbling away, before the entire mass of rock starts tilting toward the pair. “Yes. Yep. Now would be a good time to ruuuuuun!”

The two quickly fall into a sprint, Papalymo zooming past the tired Ar’beunti as they outrun the avalanche of rock and stone. The novice’s adrenaline is able to compensate for her exhaustion and she catches up and keeps pace with the man half her size. They raise their hands to cover their heads as pebbles start raining down from above. They’re heads down, they see a shadow start to engulf them. They were not quite outrunning the otherwise stationary structure.

Papalymo, quick on his feet, draws his own staff and quickly fires off a orb of fire up into the tip of the butte that had shaded them, blasting it to pieces before planting his feet and charging another blast. Beau slides to a stop as she looks back at Papalymo taking the danger head on. Another Fire is flung off his staff and Beau watches as the lalafell becomes a silhouette among the light of the blast that crumbles the falling rocks. The main body of the rock slams into the ground, dust first engulfing Papalymo, then everything else in sight.

The deafening sound of rock crumbling and crashing settles. Beau coughs dust as she looks for Papalymo in the cloud of destruction.

It isn’t long before the sun shines through the settling rubble and she spots the small stature, standing upright, staff still at the ready. As the landscape becomes more and more visible, Beau finds there is solid rock all around them in a large U shape. Papalymo had cleared a strategic chunk of the butte to create a safe space for the pair.

Papalymo puts his staff back on his back and turns to face Ar’beunti with a smile. “Now remember. Fire, Fire, Fire, then Blizzard, Blizzard, Blizzard.”

[tiajk]

Scary Thought’s

Warnings; written in a first person and second person pov, reader has some little things that i added, readers call sign is storm, blood, reader tries to make honey feel better about opening up, reader is implied to have a large family back at home, did not proof read at all

A/n: feeling a bit angsty today, didn’t like the ending that much i rushed it

Fear is not a word that i use often.My job isn’t allowed for fear to plague my mind. But this one time i’m going to admit it i’m afraid and i don’t know what to do. I hit my flashlight again trying to get the batteries to work some how some way. The dark sewer has a eerie presence already with no light it’s like a horror movie. I see soap’s silhouette somehow through the dark i hold onto his vest so i don’t lose him. I want to speak but i don’t trust my voice I don’t wanna break down in front of him. I jump when i feel his gloved arm grip my forearm “Stop yer worrying lass were gonna be ok” I can’t see his eyes through the dark but i can tell he’s concerned about me. “m’not worried…just planning.” His grip on my arm tightens as we winces. I finally have the courage to look at him. “was wrong with you now?” Soap scoffs at me “nothin just me arm.” I try to feel his arm thats holding me seeing if that’s the one he’s talking about when all i feel is his body hair no blood or anything then i know it’s his right arm. “what happened?” “Well before we found each other i was heading to the randevou point till the bastards put up a fight with me stabbed me in the arm but i’m fine lass.”

I pause not wanting to make the situation worse but my tone of voice makes it obvious. “Can you still shoot with your right arm or no?”. “I think i’ll be able to hold up” I know he can’t see it but i smile a little. “good”. “But what about you loveie your arms inured too” “I’ll be ok soap we just gotta focus on getting to the randevou point right now ok?”. Before soap can answer me my radio has a static sound coming out of it i move my arm as quick as i can to it forgetting the fact that it’s injured as well “Storm this is ghost do you come in?” relief sets in my body as i hear ghost voice “Yes sir i do copy.” A pregnant pause takes place before i hear ghost voice come back through the comms “good where soap is he with you?” “yes he is holding onto to me real tight and not letting go” “good where is your location?” “don’t know L.T were in the sewers right not” I can silently hear L.T cursing at us both but he sighs and speaks back into the comms “Just try to get out of the sewers” ‘yes sir”.

Soap’s grip on my arm is still tight it will probably leave a slight bruise but i use it as an anchor to know that i’m not alone in this. My feet move to there own accord going forward the cold water flowing more into my boots makes me shiver but i don’t let it stop me “Do you even know where were going lass?” Soap says but he follows me anyways “no but it’s better than being sitting ducks, do you have a flashlight or a flare?” Soap lets go of me for a second then i stop and turn around to at least try to face him as he searches his uniform for something he reaches out to grab your arm again and misses the first time butt you feel the wind pass you and grab his arm “did you find anything?” “yes found this might be able to work” i feel him move his injured arm trying to give me whatever it is he grabbed and i stop him and grab it and switch hands with it “you had a flashlight the whole time” “didn’t know that was even in there” I turn on the flashlight finally being able to see some of the sewer it was still as scary with no lights. turning around to face soap and i see his eyes piercing right at me he has some blood spilling out of his noise and his right arm is covered in blood from the stab. I turn my flashlight trying to see if there’s anywhere to sit and there is. making johnny walk over there i sit him down and give him the flashlight to hold. trying not to get to wet by the water as i look in my bag for medical supplies to help his arm “Storm what are you doing we need to get to the site now.” looking up at him with an annoyed expression “well if we dont do something about your arm its gonna be infected and we can’t have that now can we.” grabbing alcohol out of my bag and setting it on johnny’s lap a temporary holder for right now and roll the sleeve of his shirt up. “it’s nasty but i can fix it” grabbing the alcohol again and getting ready to pour it on his arm “This is gonna sting.” I pour it on his arm while blowing on it gently but effective soap whines from the burning substance but he smiles at you blowing on his arm.

“feel better?” Looking at his face as i bandage it up tightly to apply pressure to it. He nods at me “Now your turn” i want to protest but i know he’ll force me to. Holding out my left arm to him as he rolls up my sleeves the same way i did with his “aren’t you right handed storm how did you get stabbed in the left?” I watch him take the alcohol and getting it ready to pour on my arm “no i’m not right handed just ambidextrous left is my bettter though” Soap kisses his teeth as he hears my explanation “hmm well thats a nice little face about you.” He has as he pours it on my arm and blows on it as well. I wince from it but it’s over as soon as it came “there all better” I smirk and get up as i grab the flashlight and keep going the direction we where going before. the silence is sorta comforting with soap with me but he speaks up “why are you fidgeting with your neck?” I don’t know what he’s talking about until i feel my gloved hand touch my bare skin “Oh…it’s just a habit i do when i’m scared or nervous it’s a necklace that i fidget with.” Soap grunts from behind me. Not putting in the effort to look behind me i just keep going forward “y-you’e scared?” you sigh from the question not knowing you had just exposed yourself until he ask that “yes i am soap aren’t you?” he doesn’t say anything for a while until he speaks up again “yea i am kinda scared actually i know i shouldn’t be but i am” that makes you stop in your tracks and turn to him. “i have a lot of fear actually but i don’t say them” i look in his eyes for some sort of sadness or worry but i don’t i only see fear which is probably the same thing that he sees in me right now. mentally i scold myself “so says shit like that what is wrong with you” i keep walking though even though it feels like there’s nothing but darkness ahead “what scares you so much that you don’t say it” there’s a pregnant pause while i think for a moment “losing all of you but also loosing my siblings back home.” “ you have siblings?” “yea jut don’t talk about them much” “i have sisters too” “no wonder your such a asshole sometimes.” you say while teasing him as you turn a corner trying to find your way out of here. “well what scares you about losing them so much?” “ you just don’t wanna stop with the questions dont you soap” “don’t avoid the question” I stop completely for the first time in a while i can feel my whole body i can actually feel it and all of my 5 senses flow right though me “i fear that i loose them. while im on the field i fear that i don’t ever get to see them again i fear every time we go on missions that i don’t make it back home to them and that scares me more than anything i’ve ever thought of thats the scariest thought ever.” as i say that. i feel soaps gloved hand on mine but i can feel the tenderness and gentleness that he touches my face with. “lass i swear that i’ll get you back home t them your gonna make it alive out of here alright.��� my brain doubts the possibility of that but my heart agrees and starts to loss on or him the only thing i can do is nod as i keep walking to my freedom.

[ctlightner]

@summerchild-finn

Hi! Finally saw this reply, and I will absolutely explain.

First of all, I want to be clear that I love Alva. She's a spiritual successor to Megara from Disney's Hercules, and I think she has a very well done arc in the movie. This is not me hating on a canon female character for the sake of gay shipping. I think she and Jesper have great chemistry... I just think Jesper and Klaus have even better chemistry.

Part of that is the nature of the flim: it's a buddy movie, so it's important for the two buddies to bounce off each other and make us believe they're good together--if not romantically, then platonically. I can't say I've watched a lot of buddy movies, but if I were writing one, one of my top priorities would be to make sure the leads worked well together on a base level.

However, if we look more closely at the language of film--how the scenes are laid out, the shots, the cuts, etc--I think the movie starts resembling a romance when it comes to Klaus and Jesper.

(warning, this turned into 3k of film analysis. very long and image heavy. spoilers for klaus, and the discussion assumes youve seen it at least once)

Exhibit A: The Touch

Step one is a base of good chemistry, but then we add in things like Jesper accidentally touching Klaus' broad chest and pulling away quickly (~43 min in):

But that's not the beginning and end of this sequence, otherwise it would simply read more platonic. See, when Jesper firsts lays his hands on Klaus, his eyes travel to his hands. And then he realizes what he's done and glances up at Klaus:

The shot lingers on this quiet moment between them, filled with nothing but touch. And if that was it, well, yeah you'd get people reading it as romantic, but it still could just be platonic as Jesper realizes he's breached the personal bubble of the man he thought was an axe murderer two nights ago. But something happens between Jesper realizing he fumbled over the touch barrier and him pulling away:

A POV shot. Through Jesper's eyes.

When we shift into Jesper's head, we're privy to a full reaction from Klaus. We don't know exactly what's going on in his head, but he's not angry. If anything, he looks quizzical. Part of this is because Jesper doth protest too much about how much he cares about toy delivery, and this mountain man is re-learning social interaction after decades of isolation.

But again, the movie pauses here. It's not a long, long shot, but it is about one second long. That doesn't seem like a lot, but you can fit quite a bit of information in one second of a movie. Furthermore, the entire sequence, from the initial touch to pulling away is a solid 5 seconds. The movie purposefully delays us here, on this moment, to make sure we see them interact in this way.

Let's play Swap the Genders for a second. If Jesper was, idk, Jespina, how would this interaction be different? Theoretically, it's the same actions and the same, surrounding implications of plot context. But we as an audience have been trained to read "boy and girl share brief, awkward touch" as foreshadowing for a romantic future. In all genres, not just romcoms and dramatic romances, though you bet your butt they're extremely deliberate in those. And with how long the movie lingers here, it would absolutely read as romantic if this were m/f.

But Wait There's More!

Exhibit B: Jesper, The Light

At about the 55 minute mark, we get another interesting sequence. By this point, we know that Klaus' store of toys is drying up, and he hasn't been keen on making more. Jesper, meanwhile, is still a few letters shy of being able to go home to luxury, so he gets an idea on how to convince Klaus to make more toys for Christmas.

We see Klaus out chopping wood when the magic wind we saw earlier in the film (that convinced him to go on the initial deliveries), leads him up to his workshop. Once there, he's greeting by a curtain obscuring part of the shop. A lantern within exudes soft, comforting golden light, and we see a silhouette moving.

The silhouette is feminine, from the look of hair pulled back, to the curvy spine, to the soft triangle of the lower body that implies a dress. We're to assume there is woman there, and as the sequence continues, we're led to assume this is a woman Klaus knows.

He starts to approach, a look of surprise on his face. Then we get a close-up that further betrays his want and concern and hope. This is all portrayed without words, by the way. It's just a series of well-executed shots and poignant music. It's an excellent example of how to raise tension via shots when you have a very stoic character. Klaus doesn't really move his face much. He doesn't mug to the camera like a desperate Let's Player to illustrate that he's having Complicated Emotions. Instead, the shot changes intensify. By the time Klaus is ready to see who's behind the curtain, so are we.

And after all that buildup, the feminine figure reaches out and flings the curtain away to reveal...

Twink Supreme.

Klaus is annoyed the silhouette wasn't who he thought it was and gets more annoyed the longer Jesper tries to pitch him on making toys for Christmas. Klaus tries to get him to stop, but he helps himself to the workshop and starts touching things he shouldn't. This culminates when Jesper yanks a sheet off a wall.

He reveals a very dusty fixture with a familiar-looking masculine woodcut, and a less familiar, but notable feminine one. And underneath their slot are completely empty ones. This is the first time the scene has been shunted into darkness since Klaus entered the workshop.

Klaus is horrified at this thing, even though we can surmise he made it himself. This is forbidden, even to him.

He orders Jesper to leave. Jesper obliges, and we follow him back to the post office where he meets up with absolute cinnamon roll Margú and finally decides to help her write a letter so she can get her own toy like the townies. Jesper goes to Alva for help and via the power of pop ballad montage, we see them get a little closer and end the sequence with the letter in hand.

Now, Jesper knows he can't ask Klaus for help making Margú her toy, so he sets off to make it himself despite not being qualified in the slightest. It's the thought that counts, right?

As the ballad ballads on, we get a crossfade from Jesper working by candlelight to Klaus still sitting and brooding in his dark workshop. A crossfade is a type of transition from scene to scene where one picture gradually fades into the next. As we fade from Jesper to Klaus, we get an incredible image:

Jesper is in the forbidden zone. His visage has replaced the dusty, hidden remnants that have been there so long. Moreover, once again, the movie heavily contrasts light and dark. Much like how the curtains obscuring Jesper earlier were the only light in the darkness of the workshop, now again is Jesper the beacon of warmth. A beacon that Klaus has turned away from, much like he did the tree carving before.

Now, I need y'all to put a pin in this. I swear I have a conclusion to this sequence, but I need to talk about something else first.

Exhibit C: The Porch Scene

Klaus eventually shows up to the post office and sees that Jesper made a mess of the woodworking for the gift. He starts fixing it, and the two head out into the night to the nearby Sámi camp/village to deliver Margú's toy. The ballad is still going, by the way, and it rises back up in lyrics and power as the young girl tests out her... snow-windsurfing board? It looks dope. Jesper seemingly for the first time understands the meaning of doing good deeds. Eventually, they return to Klaus' home, all excited from the escapade. Especially Jesper.

As they stable the reindeer, Klaus admits that it's been a long time since he's felt this way, and that "she" used to tease him when he got that doofy smile on his face. Who is "she," Jesper asks.

"My Lydia," he replies.

Klaus recounts how he and his wife found enjoyed their little mountain hideaway. But, he says, it wasn't going to be the two of them for long.

Light blossoms again as we flash back to a younger Klaus and his wife, excited to start their lives together, and very excited to start a family, a large one. At least seven children judging by the niches on the tree. Unfortunately for them, no children came. And then Lydia got sick. And then she was gone. He supposes he lost his way after she died, making birdhouse after birdhouse because she loved birds.

"Then," Klaus says, turning to gaze fondly at Jesper, "you showed up."

He says that he never thought he'd feel this again--"this" of course being the joy of seeing children's faces when they got a new toy he worked hard on. No, "this" doesn't refer to romance, but again, if Jesper were Jespina, we would absolutely be expected to take this as, if not foreshadowing, then barely-subtextual confirmation that there are romantic feelings somewhere in the mix.

But that's not just looking too hard through a queer lens at this interaction. Remember that pin from the previous section? Pull it out and let's discuss. See, the movie, through film language alone, equates Jesper to Lydia.

We were expected to believe the silhouette from earlier was a woman's. A woman who we understood to be important to Klaus. Now, we know that she wasn't just important, he loved her, was married to her. To see her silhouette in Jesper's positions the two as equals if they can so easily be mistaken for each other. Essentially, something about Jesper reminded Klaus of Lydia.

But of course, the movie didn't do this just once.

The movie equates Jesper to Lydia when it crossfades between the post office and the workshop during the breakup sequence. I mentioned that Jesper is the light in the darkness here, but superimposing him over something so important and devastating to Klaus places him squarely within the field of those feelings as well. And once we learn that the carved tree was Klaus and Lydia's wish for family, suddenly Jesper being there in the frame puts him as family.

Now, could you read this as just platonic "found family?" Yeah, absolutely, and the film does a great job doing that later on when the Sámi enter the workshop. But I argue that the movie has gone out of its way several times to specifically equate Jesper and Lydia. These two people are both lights in the darkness for Klaus. They tease him good-naturedly. But most importantly, the porch scene recontextualizes a much earlier scene from being merely mysterious to Lydia outright endorsing Jesper's presence in Klaus' life.

Back around the 30 minute mark, Jesper approached Klaus after a successful day of getting the kids to write letters for toys. He implores Klaus to give away his myriad of toys that're just collecting dust in the workshop. Klaus is seemingly less than impressed, until a strange wind blows in. We see this odd wind several times throughout the movie, and Klaus seems to understand what it wants, despite it not speaking. During the porch scene, we learn that he believes the strange wind is Lydia's spirit keeping him company and giving him a nudge in the right direction if he needs it. At the end of the movie, the wind tells him it's time to let go and to move on. At the point where Jesper is trying to persuade Klaus to do deliveries...

The strange wind circles him in a halo, forcing Klaus to pay attention. The wind's approval--Lydia's approval--is what makes Klaus decide to help deliver the toys beyond the first one.

Essentially, not only does the movie equate Jesper to Lydia through imposing their likenesses over each other and through similar light/dark contrasts, it has her appear in the beginning and straight-up endorse Jesper's entry into Klaus' life.

Exhibit D: "Ah, Young Love!"

This next section is not so much about the homoeroticism as is it why, despite my love for Alva, her canonical romantic entanglement with Jesper pales in comparison to the accidental (?) homoeroticism of Jesper and Klaus.

There's a line that the boatman says about 39 minutes into the film after Alva has a very public, very angry confrontation with Jesper. At this point, the kids are very reward-driven, attending the school-turned-fish shop purely so they can learn to write so they can send a letter so they can get a toy. Alva yells at Jesper about how the violent, constantly feuding families won't stand for their children attending school together. She views his sending the kids to her as a threat to her ability to save up enough money to get away from Smeerensburg forever and pursue her dreams somewhere she'll be useful and appreciated.

After Alva leaves, the smug trickstery boatman says:

"Ah! Young love."

I have always found this line incredibly grating because it's a classic example of Telling rather than Showing. Now, people in recent years have pushed back against that old adage, but there are times you want to show something to the audience rather than just stating it in a straightforward manner. Romantic relationships, for one thing.

As I mentioned at the top of this post, this is a buddy movie between Jesper the Postman and Klaus the future Santa Claus. They are the main characters of the film. Both of them need to carry this movie equally, and the best way to do that is to make sure they have excellent chemistry with each other. The film succeeds at this, and then some.

Alva, on the other hand, is not the main character. She is a major supporting character, and I think the movie would be lesser if she were absent, but her and Jesper's romantic relationship was always doomed to be Told rather than Shown. Because theirs is not the most important relationship in the movie.

I think the film could have done better about this, though. Getting rid of that young love line, for one thing. It's the sort of line you have someone say in the hopes that you can sneak in some romantic foreshadowing for the canonical couple. Unfortunately, it's about as subtle as a brick to the face.

The film seems to be going for a Bad First Impressions/Enemies-ish to Lovers thing with Jesper and Alva, but it really falls flat. They just don't spend enough time with each other for me to believe they're falling in love. Not to say they don't have cute moments. The montage where they help Margú write her letter is really nice, and the film shows Alva scooting closer and closer to Jesper as they hang out more and get to know each other. However, it's a montage, one with a song covering the bits of dialogue we get from them as they work. If the movie wanted to make me believe that Alva and Jesper had as much, if not more, chemistry together than Jesper and Klaus, then they probably should have changed the scene to be less focused on the montage and more focused on them playfully bantering back and forth.

But again, I think the relationship was doomed from the start, purely because Alva is not a main character. They probably would have had to make Jesper the eventual Santa Claus and nix Klaus in order to give Alva the proper amount of room.

(However, I think that would have ended up making the movie a bit too much like Rankin-Bass' stop-motion Santa Claus is Comin' to Town. Think about it: that special starts with a postman narrating about letters; it emphasizes that the question "Why do people write letters to Santa?" will be explored and answered; the main setting is a depressing, grungy town headed by a cartoonishly evil leader; there's a jaded ginger-haired schoolteacher who learns to loosen up and love life again, etc.)

I wish things had been different with Alva, or maybe that they had been allowed a longer runtime to really sell the relationship. As it is, it's fine. It works for what it is. But Jesper and Klaus' relationship is simply deeper, more subtle, and more meaningful.

Conclusion

Thank you for coming to my post about why Klaus is an extremely gay movie despite not being a gay movie. I wish I could wrap this up more academically, but I've made my thesis obvious and I have work at 7:30am tomorrow.

Hope this answers your question!

[musclesaber]

Happy Birthday!

Part 1: 06/20

[Story Gallery] [Next Part] [Latest Part]

Commission I did for an anonymous user on Twitter. Dean is running late getting home to see his husband for their birthday, but forgets he still has to get a dessert. He stops at the first shop he see's and finds something that might not only save his butt from his husband, but also his marriage.

I ran across the sidewalk with my briefcase in hand. “Dammit, I’m so late.” I looked down at my phone, almost midnight. “I’m the worst husband ever.” I stumbled across many puddles and fell down in front of a lit up store front. I wiped some water off of my face as I sat up and looked at the bright neon sign. “The Sizemologist’s Caldron? I’ve never seen this here before,” musing to myself as I stood up. I looked at my phone and saw a text message light up across the screen.

“Are you at least bringing 🎂?” shined a text from a user named ‘Big Daddy’.

“Cake? Cake! Shit, shit, shit! I forgot the cake!” I yelled as I wrapped my hands around my head. “Fuck, what am I gonna do?” I looked around and then back at my sizable butt in my work pants. “No, I did that last year. He deserves better for such a day.” I brought my phone down and looked into the windows of the dimly lit storefront. A light emitted from the very back of the store and I had to press my face up against the glass to see anything inside. My eyes scanned around the room until they focused in on a sign. ‘Eat Me & Drink Me’ read the sign and a smile grew across my face. 

“Hello! Hello!” I knocked on the window and saw some shadows move in the background. “I’m sorry! I know it’s late! I was just wondering if I could bother you to buy some sort of dessert? A cake perhaps?” I saw the outline of a very large man coming towards me. His silhouette seemed to only grow bigger as he strode closer to me. Not only did he tower over me, he sported one of the biggest guts I’d ever seen. As a light flickered on, the man’s features were revealed. In an extremely tight blue t-shirt that had ‘The Sizemologist’s Emporium’ stretched across it. As he leaned his head down to reveal a small beard and a head full of bushy blonde hair, he opened the door.

“Sir, we’re open till Midnight, feel free to come in,” said the large man as he pulled the door open and stepped to the side.

“Oh, uh…thanks.” I walked in and continued brushing water off myself. “Sorry I didn’t think you were open. It’s just the lights were off and I didn’t see anyone inside.” I said as I entered the shop. The room looked so much more spacious than I expected on the outside. I had to sidestep the big belly bulging out in front of the big man as it threatened to push me over when the big man swung it around to head towards the back. 

“Yeah, that’s my bad. The lights in here are on motion sensors at night. And normally I get up to turn them on, but I might’ve dozed off after I polished off a few pieces of sourdough bread. Woof, I really did some damage,” said the shopkeep as he patted his big belly. The ripples cascading over the blue fabric of the t-shirt. 

“I see, well I saw the sign from outside “Eat Me & Drink Me” and I was hoping you’d have some sort of dessert. A cake preferably.” I said and started walking over to the section. 

“That’s my newest section. Opened it up just a couple weeks ago. I’m Sam by the way. The Sizemologist. I run this shop,” said the shopkeep.

I turned my head to see the big man smiling down at me. “Nice to meet you. I’m Dean,” I said and reached out to shake his hand.

“And about the cake, I actually just sold my last cake earlier today. It was to a lovely couple celebrating their anniversary. Awe, they’re gonna have a fun night,” mused the shopkeep as he waddled past me toward a bar built into the wall. “But I have plenty of other desserts and treats for you to select from.” He lifted up an opening in the bar and squeezed his love handles through the sides as best he could. He started putting out plenty of desserts and pastries as I took a seat in the stool in front of him. Cookies all labeled with ‘Eat Me’ on them, brownies that had colorful sprinkles on top, and many selections of bread were set in front of me. I could even smell some more treats cooking in the back. “Take your pick.”

“Wow, you’ve really got quite the selection here. It’s for my husband’s birthday. He loves cheesecake and I was really hoping to surprise him after I’ve been such a bad husband today.”

“Oh I bet you couldn’t be that bad of a husband. You are buying your husband a cake for his birthday. That’s something,” said Sam as his head disappeared under the bar where he started rummaging around below. 

“Yeah, but this’ll be the one good thing I’ve done for him today. I was supposed to have today off, but I got called into the office for some emergency meeting that turned into a lot of work and I kept getting hit with project after project and I couldn’t get away from any of it until now. Almost midnight and I’ve barely spent any time with him today.” I wracked my head and shook some water from my fluffy brown hair. 

“You’re certainly feeling guilty and stressed about it if you’re willing to reveal that to a random customer service worker you just met,” said Sam as he came from the bar with a glass and a clear liquid in a beer sized bottle.

“I’m sorry si-”

“Sam, just call me Sam.”

“I’m sorry Sam. I didn’t mean to put that all out on you. It’s just, my husband and I, we’ve been arguing a bit lately. And today just must feel like a punch in the gut to him.” I looked at Sam and he started putting ice in a shaker.

“It’s okay. I understand, and I’ve been there. Marital troubles can be tricky. What’s got you two arguing?” I saw Sam polishing off the glass and setting it down in front of me. 

“You know, I really should get going. I’m already late enough as it is. I can’t have a drink right now. Maybe another time,” I said and started getting up from my seat.

“Just stay and talk a moment. I promise it’ll be quick.” Sam grabbed a bottle cap opener and popped the top off. The smell from the beer hit me immediately and I froze in place.

“Wow, that smells really good. Maybe I can stay for just one drink,” I sat back down in my chair and I heaved my briefcase onto the bar stool next to me. Sam had a satisfied smirk on his face as he poured the liquid into the shaker.

“I thought this would change your tune. So, tell me, what’s the matter?” asked Sam as he started to shake up the drink.

“It’s complicated. My husband has been a bit self conscious about his body as of late. He’s been trying to work out and grow his muscles out, but has been getting minimal results at best. He started off at maybe 120 pounds and 5 foot 7 and has only gained 10 pounds in almost a year,” I said as Sam poured the drink into the glass. 

“Well you seem pretty fit, big guy.” said Sam nodding to my pecs that protruded from my white button down shirt. “Maybe you could give him some pointers in the gym?” He slid the drink over to me and popped open a bottle for himself and started drinking it straight from the bottle.

“That’s part of the problem. We started working out together. Before we got married, I was on the heavier side. And not in the muscly way I am now. I was fat. And just fat. No muscles. So we joined the gym together. He wanted to put on more size and I just wanted to reform my fat into muscle. I’ve succeeded so far, but he’s been not so successful.” I reached down to take a sip of my drink and my eyes nearly bulged out of my head. “Mmm this stuff is incredible! What is it?”

“Made with a special rubber plant from South America, I call it “Stretchy Cider”,” said Sam as he took a swig of his own drink. “As for your husband, you shouldn’t feel guilty just because you have been seeing improvements and he hasn’t. That isn’t fair to your goals’ importance.”

“I mean, sure. It’s just that I know we’ve both wanted this for a long time. We bonded a lot over fitness and wanting to grow bigger before we even committed to the gym. And we’re both sorta size queens so that plays a factor into this too. I know he wants to be a massive man with muscles all over his body and he knows I want that for him too. He just puts so much pressure on himself and I hate to see him do it. And I hate being one of the causes of it too,” I said as I took another sip of my drink. Sam gave me a morose look and put his hand on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry Dean. That does not sound like a fun environment to be living in.” I hung my head and let out a long sigh.

“It is a bit of a toxic web we’ve sown as a foundation for our relationship. And that’s only half of it. He’s been really wanting to have kids lately. And I get it. He’s turning 40. He’s not getting any younger. But we can’t get our finances together to get a kid since it costs so much to have a single child as a gay couple. Let alone the cost to raise one. I bet with our salaries, we could have tons of kids. We’re just gay men so we can’t afford to have kids in the first place.”

“I see. Well Dean, it’s your lucky day. I think I have a great birthday gift from you to your husband. Be right back.” Sam did a quick about face, leaving his fat body wiggling for a second or two after, and walked through a door to what I assumed was the back. I looked down at my phone and it read 11:55p.m.

“Shit Connor is gonna kill me,” I said through gritted teeth as I brought the drink up to my lips and started chugging the whole thing.

“I’ve got just the thing for you. Here’s this muffin I have. It’s for a special promotion I’m doing this week. This is a muffin that helps people be the biggest person in any room,” said Sam as he placed a red velvet muffin down right in front of me with star shaped sprinkles on top.

“I don’t know, a muffin on his birthday? That doesn’t sound like the best thing to bring home to a probably very upset husband,” I said as I looked down at the muffin. Sam brought a sparkling, extravagant yellow birthday candle out and pushed it into the top.

“This’ll help set the mood. Trust me, he’ll love it.,” said Sam as he started getting a bag out for it.

“Alright, I guess I’ll take it. It’s not like I have many other options,” I said and reached for my wallet. “How much for the muffin and the drink?”

“Just $5 for the muffin and the drink is on the house. Just come and thank me after you have your kids.” Sam winked at me and slid the bag forward.

“Thank you Sam. You are too kind. I hope this works.” I pulled a $5 bill out of my wallet and grabbed the bag and my briefcase. “Sorry to keep this short, but I’ve gotta run. Thanks again!” I darted towards the door and Sam waved me off.

“Not a problem Dean! You two have fun tomorrow!” yelled Sam as I walked out the door. I tilted my head at the tomorrow part, but kept running towards home. I looked down at my phone, 11:55 still.

“Damn, he said it would be quick, but I wasn’t thinking that.” I kept running until I got to our apartment building. I bursted through the doors and hit the up button to the elevator repeatedly. With a ding, the doors looked like they were moving at a snail’s pace to open up. I tapped my foot and hurried in the elevator just to stand and press the close door button repeatedly in hopes it would go faster. I went up floor by floor over what took an eternity. “Come on. Come on.” With another ding, the elevator started to open up into our apartment on the top floor. I emerged from the elevator to see a short man with his hands crossed across his chest.

“Finally home from work. And it’s not midnight yet. Congrats babe. You didn’t miss all of my birthday,” said the man as he walked away from me into the kitchen. 

“Connor, look I’m sorry. I didn’t think that this one meeting would take away our entire day!” I followed him into the kitchen until I stopped in my tracks as he swiveled on his feet to get up in my face despite his much shorter stature.

“Today was supposed to be our day. I wanted to spend a lovely birthday with my husband, but it was one thing after another, again. And I get pushed to the side for your career, again. Why would I think today would be any different than any other day,” said Connor as he stormed off through the house away from me.

“Please babe. I’m sorry. I just had to stay. I kept trying to get away, but they wouldn’t stop pulling me into meetings “I had to be in”.” I used my fingers to make air quotes around those words and followed him into our bedroom. “Connor, stop running from me. Can we just celebrate a little late? I did bring home a dessert for you.” I fumbled to set my briefcase down then tear open the bag Sam had given me. “I didn’t get anything for me, but I was thinking that could be part of my punishment.” Connor turned around and saw the birthday muffin I was holding.

“Is that a muffin? I think I’d prefer you just give me your ass instead.” I shrugged and then wrung my head.

“Connor, I’m so, so sorry. I’ve been the worst husband lately. And especially today of all days.” I walked past Connor and sat on the king sized bed in our bedroom. “I had forgotten to get you a cake and could only find this one little shop open and all they had left that you would have liked was this.” I sighed and set the muffin down on the bedside table. I could see in Connor’s face that his anger was slowly simmering down.

“You’re not the worst husband in the world,” he said as he sat down on the bed with me. “I just feel like our lives have been drifting in two different directions these past few months.” We both sat there in silence for what felt like an eternity.

“Yes, we are. But I don’t want us to be,” I reached for his hand and I could see tears welling up in his eyes.

“I don’t either. I just feel like sometimes I can’t even talk to you about it. Some days, despite living in the same apartment as you, I never see you. You’re always at the office, or at the gym, or when you’re home, you just go into your study and don’t come out all day playing your games.” Connor had a couple of tears running down his face as we continued to sit in silence. 

“I’m sorry. I’ve been so wrapped up in work. Ever since that promotion last year, I just can’t get away from the office sometimes.” I put my hand on Connor’s thigh and squeezed it.

“Why did you even take that promotion? You hated your job before you took it. And now it’s just gotten worse. And it’s not like we need the money. We live in a penthouse apartment in the city. While it is expensive, I make more than enough to cover it alone. That and just about all of our other living expenses. I just don’t understand why you do this job that I know you aren’t happy in.” Connor stopped his long winded question to me and I paused again.

“Because I thought you wanted kids, babe. I have been busting my ass so we could afford to have some kids,” I said and Connor gave me a weird look.

“Honey, we could have kids tomorrow if we want. At least start the process. Our savings account is filled with the child fund. You know this. You helped set it up with me. We even used the fund already and it’s grown the money back. This is something else.” I looked into Connor’s big brown eyes and my heart just melted.

“It’s because I’m afraid.”

“Afraid? Afraid of what honey.”

“Afraid that we had grown too far apart to come back together again. I didn’t want to come home and face the silence and coldness that I would’ve sat in with you.” I blurted out as I started to cry as well. It was Connor’s turn to think on my words. “I knew we had been growing apart and I didn’t want to face it. But now I see running from my problem only makes it even harder to deal with.”

“You took the job so you wouldn’t have to deal with me?” asked Connor.

“No. No! Not at all babe. It wasn’t to deal with you. I did it cause I thought that’s what I needed. To be thrown into my work. After trying and failing to have a child and going through the painstaking process of venting and paperwork of in vitro just to have no results was heartbreaking. I couldn’t handle it.” The tension in the room could be cut with a knife as I sobbed quietly into my hand.

“I understand that babe. After the surrogate failed to have any eggs that attached, I also was feeling broken. But I needed you. My husband. And you ran away to your terrible job.” Connor began to join me in crying.

“I’m so sorry Connor. I was being selfish with my reaction to the news. I was doing what I needed to do to protect my own feelings. And as your husband, I needed to be there for you too.”

“It’s okay. We each have our own coping mechanisms. I know that about us. This is just the first time it’s hit us so hard. I don’t think we could’ve prepared ourselves for this one,” said Connor as he put his hand on mine. “But I think we know what’s happening now. For the first time in over a year.” I cracked a smile amidst my tears and went in to hug Connor.

“We are. I don’t think we really talked about what we wanted to do going forward after failing to have a kid the first time. Do you think we could do it?”

“Dean, I have never had any doubt in my mind that when we become parents, we will raise beautiful children. However I do think that we need to have a lot more love in the home before we bring a child into it.” We looked into each other's eyes and hugged each other. We held each other and just breathed for a moment. We hadn’t had this much physical contact in months.

“Same to you Connor. You’re gonna make a wonderful dad.” I pushed his body away to kiss him and it was like fireworks went off. This was the first time I had felt something around him in months. “I do hope we’ve begun to rekindle that love today.”

“I think so. We’re definitely headed in the right direction.” Connor leaned back in and we shared a passionate kiss. I felt his hand pressing into my chest and he gripped my pecs. “And I don’t think we’ve done anything with your new body since we’ve started working out.” 

“Yeah and we haven’t done anything with yours either big daddy,” I smiled and kissed Connor back only to feel him lose steam part of the way through.

“Uh huh, like I have any progress to show,” said Connor as he kept massaging my pecs over my shirt.

“But you have babe. You’ve slimmed up since working out and now you’re starting to put on more muscle,” I went to grab at his chest but he flinched when I did. “Babe, I just spilled my guts about my tough feelings. Maybe tonight we just get all of our feelings out in the open.”

“What feelings? I’m fine, babe. We were just about to have sex for the first time in forever. I’m great!” Connor started to kiss me violently and pounced onto me. Forcing me to lean back on our bed with him on top.

“Hun, you’re talking to the king of not talking about things that bother me.” He broke the kiss and rolled off me. “Spill it babe.” Connor looked at me as we both lay on the bed together.

“I can’t get big. I can’t be the big man of my dreams and I definitely can’t be the big man of your dreams.”

“Okay, what do you mean by that?”

“The gym isn’t working to get me bigger.”

“And I don’t have a problem with that. Everyone’s bodies are different and gain size in different ways.”

“Oh Dean, stop beating around the bush. The entirety of our relationship was based off of our shared love for growth. You remember all of the role playing we did back in the day. Do you remember that one where you were the sweet scientist and me, your science experiment that got huge. I wanted that for you.” Connor sat up and put his elbows on his knees and head on his hands. I followed suit soon after.

“Connor, those were fantasies. And while they were hot at the time of doing them, I don’t really care about them now. And I definitely never expected you to get THAT big. Babe at one point we said you were over 100 feet tall and many tons of muscle. No one has even come close to that big before.”

“I know, but maybe if I thought that maybe if I did get bigger, it would help us rekindle that spark.” I brought my arm around him and pulled him in close to me.

“Well after tonight I hope you can put that idea out of your head since we might not be past our differences, but we are on the road to recovery.” I leaned in and kissed the short man. We sat on the bed in silence for a long time. Just me holding Connor in my arms. “I did however mention to the guy that sold me the muffin that you were having some issues in the gym and he assured me that the muffin makes men feel like they’re the biggest one in the room.”

“What does that even mean? And you were talking to a random baker about that?”

“I don’t know. I assumed it had a bunch of calories in it or something. But yeah. I did kinda vent to him for a sec cause I felt so guilty about how bad of a husband I was being.” I stand up and open up a drawer in the night stand to reveal a lighter.

“At this point I’ll try anything to make me grow,” said Connor as he got up and stood beside me. “But that cupcake is so small, what are you going to eat?” 

“Think of it as a punishment to myself for being so late and forgetting to pick up a cake today.” I started to light the candle that was on top of the muffin and presented it to Connor. “Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Connor, Happy Birthday to You.” Connor gave me a cheesy smile and blew out the candle. 

“Thanks babe. Despite all of the drama I couldn’t have wished for a better 40th birthday,” said Connor as he started eating the muffin.

“Feliz cumpleaños mi amor. Did you make a wish?”

“Of course. I always make a wish. You can’t not make a wish. But I’m not gonna tell you.” Connor continued to eat his muffin and was delighted by how good it tasted.

“You don’t need to tell me until it comes true.”

“Well then I can tell you what I wished for last year?”

“What?”

“You.” I smiled at Connor and leaned down to give him a big kiss.

“I’m glad I granted your wish then. I just hope I can grant this one for you too.” We kissed a couple more times before we sat down on the bed. We began to make out, small moans escaping our lips as we did.

“You definitely can babe. But actually,” Connor paused our kiss and let out a long yawn, “I’m feeling really tired all of a sudden. Think maybe we can pick this up in the morning?” Connor began to lie back in bed onto his pillow and tapped the one beside it.

“Sure babe. Screw work if they call me in. I’m gonna spend tomorrow with my husband.” I climbed over to my side of the bed and got under the covers with Connor. 

“Thank you Dean. I would love that as a birthday present. As well as snuggling with you tonight,” said Connor as he wrapped his arms around my body as I faced the opposite way. “Goodnight Dean.”

“Goodnight Connor.”