#(once again i wanna be mean to him and lovingly bully him but also he deserves the niceys!!!)
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It's me again, anon, who adores your love-hate towards Cross. Friend recently showed me a video in tiktok where there was a sound of 'oh I hate that man...but oh, cara mia...how i love him'. It immediately reminded me of you. Tsunderes keep winning. Let's go tsunderes ✊️
hhhh h hhhi anon i do, i do ha-
#ask#mblue talks#mblue art#self insert#.. dammit#HSHFBXNZN#('oh i love tsunderes' — *becomes one* — *surprised pikachu meme*)#(each day i get a cross simp thought i ask myself WHY am i a tsundere for this man istg smfh 😤😤😤‼️/lh)#(everytime i get a cross brainrot it hits hard and it burns (just like the blush on my cheeks HSHFHCBDN/J) for how goddamn long it lasts)#(once again i wanna be mean to him and lovingly bully him but also he deserves the niceys!!!)#(tired man tired boy needs to RELAX‼️ like sheesh ur shoulders look stiff dude im patting those tf down; ease up my man)#(gonna do that thing where i plat my palm onto his forehead bc of how much hes furrowing his brows!!)#(thatll probably surprise him and unfurrow those for a few secs LOL)#(give him a lazy day; let him roll around in bed with the fluffiest pillows and the softest blankets and watch anime and drink choccy malk)#(ok that just sounds like i wanna pamper him HSHHRFNKDSK BUT STILL i want him to be happy HAVE YOU SEEN HIM SMILE GENUINELY????)#(like in fanart nstuff LIKE WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE THAT /POS)#(hes got that anime boy charm somehow istg)#anyway ramble over im sorry hello tag readers did you enjoy me simping 😎 (imagine my hands folded on the table)#m rambles#CM
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I've decided to do this since it's been laying in my photos for a bit. I will give context!
Favs: I am absolutely in love with Beelzebub I have no idea why he attracted me so much but I have been non-stop horny and lovingly obsessed with him. This is actually recent I am Bi so I was saddened at first to realize there were no women dateables but once thirteen came out whew😮💨 I was completely smitten. She is so beautiful and really my type idrc if she was mean to me at first I need her.
Love: I love love LOVE 🪙Mammon🪙 he's so fucking cute and I love my men a little dumb so he was perfect :) I am quite literally a dia and beel account so of course I love diavolo heavily. He's a himbo (my type if you couldn't tell) and I adored him when he came on screen. He used to be high up there but with some logical reasoning I realize I'd be a better match for beel and thirteen. I have a aggressive relationship with Lucifer I can see myself dating him but we would fight often and I like bullying him/ teasing him a lot. He's a little much sometimes so thats why he's a love only. Belphie at first was a only like character but believe it or not after replaying the game again I realized he is pretty damn hot and attractive to me. Even when he killed me I was still into him (yes I have issues).
Like: okay so this is complex these are characters I can only see myself dating like a little bit or they are just friends in a higher degree. Levi is adorable but I do admit I don't like when he speaks sometimes lmao. His vocabulary kinda irritates me at times so I don't see myself choosing him often as a dating character. Satan I am indifferent on I will admit he is slowly growing on me but I personally don't like blondes much so it dropped with that and his aggression is very similar to mine so I can only imagine how horrible fights will go with him. But he still is attractive to me date wise. Now onto luke and asmos I find them both as friends no sense of dating at all between these two characters for me. Asmos is just completely not my type and Luke is well a child so yeah immediately no.
Neutral: these characters I don't know/ trust enough to date but the thought is nice but they are low on the list. These characters are also heavily liked by my sister so I backed off for that too. Barb I just can't see myself with and my sister is heavily down bad for so eh. Simeon is an angel and believe it or not I actually prefer demons over angels so I was put off by that fact and he is just idk not doing it for me... I do enjoy drawing him though:). Solomon I just do not trust whatsoever I do think I'd be the classic friends with benefits with him but dating I don't think so I gotta trust a mf I wanna be with the rest of my life sooo. He is also another character my sister is heavily down bad for. Meso is odd for me. He is attractive but to a certain degree he is idk too immature? I can't pin point it... Still being friends is perfect:D
Dislike/neutral: okay please do NOT attack me but I just don't like nor trust Raphael he is just so UGH. He also scolded beel and it irritated me heavily. Yes I care about that stuff STFU if it bothers you idc. I will tolerate him but NO.
#obey me fandom#obey me shall we date#obey me headcanon#obey me scenarios#shall we date obey me#obey me x mc#obey me solomon#obey me beelzebub#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me barbatos#obey me belphegor#obey me thirteen#obey me raphael#obey me mephistopheles#obey me diavolo#obey me side characters#obey me simeon#obey me satan#obey me luke#obey me leviathan#obey me asmodeus
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*cough* here i am 1223423 years later as usual ... but here we go hehe (also im too lazy to deal with the font sizes i apologize in advance)
nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name
1. why did you choose your url? once when i had hopes and dreams my purpose in life was to find a miya twins enthusiast willing to twin usernames with me ... chaatsumu and osamosa because miya atsumu & osamu + samosa chaat .... but alas it never happened so now im osamosa on here and my ao3 is chaatsumu and just matching with myself like a loser /J /LH KASJDHNK
2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. my dude. i barely have one blog much less a sideblog JBHDSJKSB
3. how long have you been on tumblr? gmail says 2021!! i haven't actually posted/interacted outside of liking before this month though (it's evo's fault yall are now subjected to my presence JHBDC)
4. do you have a queue tag? i just learned how to reblog .
5. why did you start your blog in the first place? sigh i was gonna make it for fic recs when i started and then promptly abandoned it like everything else that doesnt remain in my attention span for over 5 minutes JKBHDC
6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? nan feng!!! beat up because he deserves to be bullied!!! /affectionate
7. why did you choose your header? pretty fictional people !!! bullying nan feng !!! sqx is my wife !!!!
8. what’s your post with the most notes? my sunflower fx art teehee <333 (she's at 69 votes rn actually ... we all know what that means *waggles eyebrows and then cringes*) but im so emo about him and sunflowers so it makes me v happy :3
9. how many mutuals do you have? idek how i would go about checking this but i probably have like . maybe 8 followers if that idk and i follow all of them back im pretty sure
10. how many followers do you have? refer to above hehe
11. how many people do you follow? mmm around 35?
12. have you ever made a shitpost? i shitpost on twt enough, the world wouldnt be able to handle me there and on tumblr
13. how often do you use tumblr each day? once or twice if that?
14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? ive spoken to maybe 3 in total but theyve all been super super sweet <333 yall are so nice . i have been getting slandered and bullied by my friendo mi for years who also happens to be my mootie here tho someone save me /j
15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts i dont think ive come across this ?
16. do you like tag games? always appreciate the opportunity to yap * nods sagely*
17. do you like ask games? once again idk what this is JKDVBSDB i know what asks are but game...?
18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? basically everyone ever is more famous than me so i think all of them are hehe
19. do you have a crush on a mutual? nope!
20. what is the last song you listened to? saturn - sza is playing rn hehe
21. what are you currently watching? link click live action! also remembered the tgcf donghua exists and watched all fengqing fight scenes yesterday LOL
22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? i love love sweet and spicy!! preference depends on my mood hehe
23. what is your current relationship status? single pringle, just as it has always been !
24. what is your current obsession? fengxinfengxin and also my oc that evo knows about teehee ACTUALLY . GO READ THEIR FIC WITH HIM IN IT RIGHT NEOWWW ITS BEAUTIFUL ITS EVERYTHING THE UNIVERSE HAS EVER NEEDED
25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?
good days - sza
sunflower - rex orange county
alive - kehlani
best friend - laufey
the things you leave behind - maruwhat & anthony lazaro
the ballad of lucy gray baird - rachel zegler
blue neighborhood - troye sivan
manta rays - chloe moriondo
you were good to me - jeremy zucker, chelsea cutler
@beemilo @rampagingnoble @sugisyakult pokes you with a stick (v lovingly hehe <33) if you wanna do this !!!
nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name
(thank you for the tag @lianhuajing !!)
1. why did you choose your url? uh. it was a play on "rose tinted glasses"
2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. nope!
3. how long have you been on tumblr? I think 2022? i knew about it before, just never bothered to make a blog
4. do you have a queue tag? don't kill me, what's a queue tag?
5. why did you start your blog in the first place? I had some Thoughts about Blue Lock and wanted to post meta for it
6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? uhh Flora.
7. why did you choose your header? Reo is one of my Blorbos and I just really liked that panel of him
8. what’s your post with the most notes? probably the "do you download fics" poll
9. how many mutuals do you have? about 20? i don't remember
10. how many followers do you have? 120?
11. how many people do you follow? 91
12. have you ever made a shitpost? yes. i think.
13. how often do you use tumblr each day? an hour?
14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? nope
15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts meh. some of them are funny i guess
16. do you like tag games? yep! it's nice interaction
17. do you like ask games? i do! but uh. it's a silent empty void here. an echo chamber, if you will.
18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? i have no idea but i see @kingsandbastardz a lot in the mlc community
19. do you have a crush on a mutual? nope
20. what is the last song you listened to? 若梦 by 周深
21. what are you currently watching? i just finished The Double! probably starting on Dashing Youth next
22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? savoury!
23. what is your current relationship status? single
24. what is your current obsession? The Double,,,,
25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?
若梦 by 周深
如故 by 张碧晨
如初 by 张碧晨
借过一下 by 周深
万物不如你 by 张杰
Our dawn is hotter than day by Seventeen
Hitorijana by Seventeen
my music taste is kinda...i tend to stick to a few artists...
26. tagging (no obligation to do this!) @randomingoftherandomness @good-vs-evo @chrysofightme @bbcphile
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Dealing With People Who Don't Care (Ticci Toby X F!Reader)
Dealing With People Who Don't Care
[Ticci Toby X F!Reader]
[Warnings: slight language and calls to violence? Bullying, slight yandere behavior]
[AN: Requested from ѕρσσку яανισlι on Quotev! Idk if I'm ready to tell y'all that this was basically my first quarter of college.]
College wasn’t supposed to be like this, at least, that’s what you keep telling yourself. When you graduated from high school, you were told that petty drama and catty people were going to fade away because that was high school and this is college. Something new, something for young adults, and something you’d been looking forward to for far, far too long.
Truth be told, in high school, you didn’t really have any problems. You mostly got along with the people you did talk to and aside from a few arcs which you lovingly call ‘character development’, you generally kept your head down and to yourself which allowed you to stay off some of the cruller people’s radars. You were liked when it was necessary but ultimately stuck to yourself.
How did it all go so wrong?
When you first came in on orientation day, you’d met up with a group of girls and bonded on the train ride back to campus. There was a group chat made and you were a ready part of it. You felt nicely about your entire situation because these were nice girls, and they treated you like you held the sun and rose the moon. Is that what positive friendship was like?
For the first few weeks, everything with them was a bliss. Unfortunately, you were the only person from that group in your specific branch and major. This meant that you often spent most of your daylight hours alone or with yourself entirely. The other girls all had majors that were almost word for word the same, and that meant that they spent a lot of time together. Slowly, that had been growing closer and closer to each other and leaving you out.
It came in small doses at first, and you had chalked it up to your nature being so different from theirs. They were much more extroverted than you ever could have been. They were fire, and you were ice. But that did not mean that you were boring, or any less interesting, you were just quieter, preferring to take this just as softly. Wandering around the city with maybe one or two people, talking about the things that matter as opposed to getting wasted in a crowded apartment with fifty people who don’t even care about your wellbeing.
That’s what was different about you than them.
“Hey ladies,” you smile widely as you take your tray of food from the cafeteria to the table where all the girls sat. You notice that they’re all engrossed in conversation but quickly turn to greet you with smiles and waves.
“Hi, Reader! How has your day been?” Maria greets, her fingers gently tugging through her blonde hair. “Me and Georgina were just talking about you.”
Georgina nods and pats the seat next to her for you to sit down. “Yeah, what have you been up to?”
You take a seat next to the redhead and sip from your drink. “It was alright. With midterms coming up though… Little stressed,” you admit as the two girls sitting around you frown in response. “Lots of essays, some minor discussion posts, a group project but we’re just starting it early because it counts for like, 20 percent of our grade and is part of our final,” you say as you stab into your food.
“Oh? A group project?” Georgina asks with a raise of her eyebrow.
You nod. “It’s actually more like a partner project. I’m paired with this guy named Toby? But like, I haven’t seen him yet - he doesn’t show up to class,” you sigh.
“Maybe try emailing the professor,” Maria suggests. “But I’m sure you’ll do just fine,” she hums with a small smile, her hand reaching over and gripping yours warmly.
From there, the conversation that follows has you drifting away. By now, a third girl has joined the conversation and her name is Helena. Helena is also in the same class as you with the group project, but she isn’t as close to you as Georgina and Maria are. She greets you just as warmly but she turns the conversation in a direction you weren’t expecting.
Laughter rings out from the table.
“And that guy from last night?” Georgina giggles.
“He was insane!” Maria adds. “You have to come inside!” She mockingly says before bursting into another fit of giggles.
“And he dressed so weirdly,” Helena continues. “Ratty as all hell jacket and then followed us into the theatre? Asked to show us magic tricks-” she’s not even able to finish her words because she’s laughing much too hard.
You tilt your head slightly. “What happened last night?” You ask.
The girls pause for a moment. “Don’t worry about it,” Georgina says as she swats off your question. “You weren’t there.”
“This was last night?” You ask again.
They nod.
“Yeah, wasn’t anything special,” Maria attempts to shrug off before those three continue with their conversation and inside jokes.
You eat in silence, every now and then smiling and offering forced laughter as you think about what you did last night. You weren’t doing anything, in fact, your roommate went out on a date with her boyfriend and left you in the dorm all along. So, you finished your work a little early and started on some other things, then watched Netflix and fell asleep before midnight. You were free the entire night.
And they didn’t even think to invite you.
From there, you started to notice all the times they forgot about you and excluded you. It carried on in the sloughed off invites, the ‘sorry we can’t meet up for dinner,’ and generally just avoiding you. They had jokes they couldn’t share with you, and you were at their side, they acted like you weren’t even there until it faded into nothing.
Reader: Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Maria is typing…
Maria: no not tonight :(
Reader: oh okay! But if any of you want to come to Target with me or something..? Maria: sorry, I’m busy!
Georgina is typing…
Helena is typing…
After that, they’d left you on read, not even bothering to answer you. Later that night on snapchat, you saw the three of them wandering the city without you, laughing and having a good time.
Instead of talking to them right away, you focused on your classes and your work. And that meant finally tagging down toby.
You’d managed to finally get him in your sight after emailing your professor who struck some type of fear into him. You were able to meet him face to face at a little cafe somewhere off campus.
“Over h-here,” he calls out from near the window of the cafe, waving you towards the back.
You flash him a quick smile and let it fall before finally taking a seat across from him. You’re slightly surprised to see that there’s a cup of hot chocolate and a chocolate chip muffin is there waiting for you. “Oh, uh, thank you,” you say as you get comfortable.
“It’s n-nothing,” he says with a small smile. “I-I’m sorry for k-keeping you w-w-waiting all t-this time,” he continues in an apologetic tone. “T-Things with my f-family aren’t e-easy right n-now.”
Not wanting to push him, you nod and smile reassuringly. “It’s okay,” you relent. “So, this project..?”
“It’ll b-be a breeze,” he replies. “D-Don’t worry about i-it, yeah?” He picks up his own cup of hot chocolate to fight off the child of mid autumn and nods to you, his dark eyes scanning over your form. “I w-wanna know j-just who I’m w-working with.” He smirks slightly, the corners of his mouth pulling up like a know-it-all cat.
You look into your cup of hot chocolate and shrug. “Nothing too interesting,” you attempt to slide off.
Toby rolls his eyes. “Calling b-bull,” he snorts. “You l-look stressed. W-What’s on your m-m-mind?”
You sigh deeply and relax your body as you think back to the situation with those girls. “It’s nothing.”
Toby hums once more but does not push you. Deep down though, he knows something is wrong.
And that’s how it carries on. You and Toby meet every so often to work on your presentation and your paper together and your so called friends continually leave you in the dust. Before you know it, you’re spending more and more time with Toby than anyone else, and because of that, you don’t feel nearly as alone as you used to.
From Toby’s perspective, he would never tell you what he thought when he first saw you walk through those doors of the cafe to finally meet him in person.
When he first got that email in regards to him not showing up and worrying you, he’d rolled his eyes and pretended it didn’t matter. It was whatever, who cares? Apparently you. With a slight gripe in the back of his head, he looked you up on social media with the help of a friend named Ben and found all that he needed to know just by looking at your profile. He was almost ashamed to admit how enraptured with you he had become. That’s why he was so adamant you met him at a cafe, where he could spend time with just you.
When he saw you walking through the doors, his eyes scanned over every inch of you. You had a slight bounce in your walk despite it being so chilly.
He wondered if you wanted to be warmed up.
You looked so soft in his eyes, so sweet and so alluring. Just your looks alone was all he needed as water for a growing obsession.
Toby is addictive by nature. Seeing you was what allowed that addiction to take off. When he heard your voice? He felt like he was high.
He knew something was wrong with you when you sighed like that. It was a loaded sigh. Of course, after the two of you parted ways for the night and on good terms, he immediately dug into the lives of your so-called ‘friends.’ Let’s just say that damn near instantly, he did not like them.
Maria, a nursing major. He considered her an air head that wouldn’t get anywhere with substance, and saw that she was much more of a party girl than anything else.
Georgina, another nursing major. Also considered her a lost cause.
Helena, a medical assistant major. Toby considered her the worst one, but it didn’t come at first. He found that girl was vile in every sense. The things he’s overhead her saying about other people? Terrible. The things he’s overhead her saying about you? Absolutely unacceptable.
He noticed her whispers that cut like thorns wrapping around you from the shadows as he sat in class near her, but never next to her. He listened to the filth that poured from her mouth and was able to pick up the conversations from her phone like it was nothing.
And all of that? It lit a fire in him, a fire that would eventually burn her down and scorch her until she was nothing but ashes.
You’re about to head to class and present your final project with Toby. You look like a mess, and it’s not just from the lack of sleep because of your other class’s finals, but because you are absolutely emotionally drained and have nothing left to give. You’d finally formally broken up from those girls, but it did not come without tears.
Reader: hey guys, it’s been a little while, but I just wanted to get some things off of my chest before I call it. First and foremost, I want to thank you for the time we did spend together, but I don’t feel safe or happy anymore. These past few weeks have been nothing but straight ice and being left out and I’m just… I’m tired, for a lack of better words. I know that you don’t really want me around anymore, so I thought I’d just nip this one in the bud before it got out of hand or anything like that. I just - whatever, I’m sorry for whatever I’ve done to offend you.
Georgina is typing…
Georgina: Honestly don’t take this the wrong way but you legitimately brought this all onto yourself.
Georgina: you don’t really talk to us the way that we talk to each other
Reader: but you literally never gave me a chance???
Maria: shes right tho,,,,, like, you just always kept to yourself. You didnt really give us anything to go off of
Georgina: right??? And it’s not like she’d actually do any of the things we wanted to do either
Reader: I’m sorry but like, I offered for you guys to come do some things with me and I even asked for you to tell me when you guys were making plans - I would have gone out
Helena: does it even matter now though? You brought literally all of this onto yourself there’s no use for you to just beg us for you to come back lol. Just stop while you’re ahead
Helena: you were never really there to begin with tbh you just kinda existed
Maria: exactly that! Like im glad we’re getting stuff off our chest because omg did you get on my nerves. Always quiet and just watching??? Never saying anything??
Georgina: RIGHT It was like a literal ghost in the room LMFAO
Reader: are you fucking serious right now?
Reader: you’re going to act like this?
Maria: you brought it on yourself
Helena: it was bound to happen
Reader: I cannot believe you guys are acting like such assholes right now
Maria: you did it first though?????
Helena: ^^^^
Georgina: ^^^^
From there, the conversation had delved into them throwing all of their problems onto you. It honestly felt like projecting, but you had a class to go to and project to present and no time to cry.
You wiped your tears, got ready for the day and headed out to your building from out of your dorm. Soon, you would be on break and away from this place that’s driving you up a wall.
You walked across campus and plastered a faint smile on your face as you continued to move through the nippy air. You enjoyed seeing the leaves as they danced on the flowing air and eventually kissed the sidewalk. You could smell pumpkin spice and the remnants of November. What a beautiful season.
Waiting for you outside of Wendell’s Hall was Toby, hands in his pockets as he leaned up against the wall just beside the door.
“Were you waiting for me?” You ask with a small smile.
“Maybe,” he hums with a small smirk. “C-C’mon, it’s a little c-chilly out here,” he says as he gently shuffles you inside after opening the door for you. He watches you carefully as you walk through the halls and find the elevator to get to the sixth floor.
As the two of you wait for the doors to open, Toby checks you over.
“What?” You say with a small chuckle.
“J-Just checking,” Toby hums. “A-Are you okay?” He asks as the doors open. He nods for you to go in first, and then follows in directly after. He watches your finger press the button for six.
“Why?”
“You s-seem a l-little tense,” he says as he looks over you again, his eyes narrowing in on yours. “I-Is it the p-presentation?”
You hold your hand out and make a ‘so-so’ motion. “I guess,” you reply, attempting to shove off anything that might make you cry again. Your eyes are a little dark, and your skin is still soft from the saline, raw from you rubbing those pearls of water with your sleeves repeatedly.
“You w-wanna talk a-about it l-later?” He asks softly, his hand resting warmly on your shoulder as he brings you into his side.
You look up at him and smile. “We’ll see.”
When the doors open, you and Toby quickly make it to your class and are pleased to see there’s spots open and the two of you can sit together. Toby is quick to snag the seats for the both of you and his warm expression falls when he sees Helena waltzing into the room.
Helena sits a little ways from where you and Toby sit before she wiggles her fingers at you like a nonverbal smile before actually turning her lips up in a fake saccharine smile.
You shift uncomfortably and instead focus on your presentation. You feel a little nervous, mostly because Helena is here and this is also a big chunk of your grade. You’re academically passing with flying colors, but a hiccup like this could spell something bad. You breathe out deeply when you feel Toby’s hand resting on your shoulder, grounding you.
“We g-g-got this,” he says with a small smile, squeezing you lightly. “You w-wwanna get it out of the w-w-ay?”
“No,” you reply suddenly. “I just want to see how this goes.”
Toby nods and turns his attention to the other students that continue to walk through the door. “A-Anything for y-y-you,” he says softly.
You barely hear it, but you smile all the same.
Presentations pass in a pretty boring manner. Your professor seems pleased with everyone that presents, and she offers praise and saves the criticism for emails, but so far, it seems like everyone is doing well! You’re almost fully calm by the time you raise your hand to present but when Helena and her partner begin snickering, your heart sinks to your knees.
“Alright, you two are good to go,” your professor says with a warm, reassuring smile on her face after she pulls up your project on the overhead projector. “Giving the remote to Miss Reader, whenever you two are ready.” She holds the remote out to you and then whispers ‘you’re gonna do great’ before taking her seat in the front row.
You silently thank her for her reassurance and then turn your attention to Toby, who begins the presentation.
You make sure to speak clearly and concisely as you present your project, paying close attention to detail and everything that was outlined on the rubric. You watch your professor’s expression light up brighter and brighter as you carry on with your half of the presentation. It seems that she’s really pleased with the both of you, but especially you!
Your big hiccup comes when the questions part of your presentation comes up.
See, prior to this, the questions portion had been empty and pretty dead. But of course, because Helena is here, she’s dead set on making you flop.
When she starts firing questions, you and Toby answer them to the best of your abilities. Admittedly, you are more than mentally dead at this point. With every question that Helena digs into you, you feel your brain cells dying off at an even faster rate. The lights of the projector bore into you and make you dizzy. You’re just… exhausted.
Helena finally poses a question that makes your face heat up. “So?” She taunts, her eyes looking at you innocently. “I just wanna know,” she continues, her eyes flashing.
You should be able to answer this. It’s so simple and right there in your bank of knowledge you just can’t open the vault.
“Miss Reader..?” Your professor quietly asks, pulling you from your thoughts. “Are you able to-” You shake your head, feeling numb and cold all at the same time. “I’m sorry, no,” you whisper. It was one of the first things you learned in the class and one of the most important.
Your professor nods and mouths, ‘don’t worry,’ before turning to the rest of her class. “Alright then, you two are dismissed. Give them a round of applause for their work.”
The applause surrounds you but you do not feel it, and when you move back to your seat, you can’t help but feel embarrassed. The looks that you get from those around you are of pity and ‘she hasn’t learned anything this quarter, has she?’ It makes your face burn with embarrassment and you feel so unnaturally warm because of it. A rush of emotions comes over you when you see Helena’s shifty glances and hear her insipid giggles and you hurriedly get your things together and bolt out of the classroom.
Toby shoots up when you rush out and he’s not able to catch you. Instead, he sits in for the rest of the class to give you some space and anything else the professor may say. His glare is turned on Helena. When she flashes him that same sickly sweet, mocking smile, he sees red.
Class ends shortly after that, the professor clearly uncomfortable with whatever just happened with Helena and Toby is keeping his ire hidden until what comes after he deals with you. He’s got a few choice things in mind he’d like to do to Helena, mostly spinal disfigurement and popping bones from their joints and scattering them across the country, but he knows he has to play this as slimy as she did. He’s already conjuring up ways to academically cripple her.
Toby pushes those thoughts to the side before he makes his way to your dorm. He’s nodding to the guy at the front desk and running up the stairs to find you faster than his thoughts can even gather. He just wants to make sure you’re okay.
He walks through the hall of your floor before going over the room numbers. He’s only been in your dorm once - the two of you tend to spend time with each other outside of the campus. Twenty four hour McDonalds, out and about in the city, public parks, the two of you just like wandering. When he sees the numbers of your dorm, he internally sighs and knocks. “H-Hey, Reader? Y-You in t-t-there?” He asks as he knocks again.
From inside, you shuffle underneath your sheets. He’s here? You don’t answer.
“I j-just want to make s-sure you’re alright,” he continues in a soft voice. “If you n-need space though, I c-c-can go-” he barely makes the motion to move when you open the door just a crack.
You look up at Toby with dark, puffy eyes. You can’t bring yourself to say anything, but he can see that you’ve been through hell and back emotionally. You look like a mess, in less graceful words.
“Oh g-gods,” he murmurs as you push open the door just a bit more. “R-Reader,” he says softly as he takes you into his arms, his shoe gently pushing the door closed as you wrap your arms around his waist, taking in the scent of graphite and sandalwood as you sob into his chest. “What h-happened, s-sweetheart?” He asks softly as he rocks the two of you back and forth.
You continue to cry into his chest and grip onto the back of his hoodie as he gently maneuvers you to the side of your bed to let your tired body rest. “S-She’s so mean!” You cry as you continue to squeeze your eyes shut, still gripping Toby like he’s the only thing grounding you.
“What h-have they d-d-done to you?” He inquires in a tone just a little louder than a whisper. Internally, he knows he’ll make all three of those demons suffer and leave the school, by any means necessary. He just wants to hear it from you to know how hard he needs to fuck up their lives. Judging by this interaction alone? It’s monumental.
You then go into a painful detailing of everything those girls have ever made you feel, at one point even bringing up the chats you have saved on your phone. Your breathing begins to even, but Toby’s vision grows redder and redder.
He listens to everything you say as you recount your pain to him and he grits his teeth. Especially those chats - those are unforgivable.
You’re exhausted by the time you finally finish telling him everything they’ve made you feel and the things they’ve done to make you feel this way. You finish it with just a few more words. “They make me feel so small,” you admit through sniffles and broken breaths. “They just - they made me feel so left out and so insignificant,” you admit, still wiping away tears.
Toby holds you tighter before one of his hands reaches up to cup your cheek. “N-No! You’re n-not insignificant, you’re e-everything and m-more,” he begins to ramble. “Y-You’re s-s-so smart and p-put together and o-on top of i-it,” he continues, his thumb wiping away your residual tears.
“You’re just saying that-”
“I w-would never,” he cuts you off in a tone that’s more serious than he intended. “I m-mean everything I s-s-say and those g-girls suck. They d-don’t hold a candle to you,” he says as he cups your face.
“Toby…”
Toby hushes you by pressing a soft, almost scared he might spook you kiss to your lips as if he’s testing the waters. When you make no motion to fight him, he presses just a little more fervently before pulling away, leaving you with stars in your eyes. “I’ll handle e-e-everything, okay?” He promises softly, watching as the stars fade to exhaustion. “G-Get some r-r-rest,” he coos.
You allow him to lay you down as he moves the blankets to cover you before he gets up to turn off the lights. “You’re going to handle it?” You whisper as you allow sleep to veil over your body.
“Y-Yes, I’ll handle e-e-everything,” he promises again, flicking the lights off.
Toby fumbles through the dark for just a moment before slipping back into bed with you, allowing you to wrap around him like an octopus. He cradles you in his arms, his lips pressing to your forehead. “Sleepy t-time,” he mumbles as you cuddle into his chest.
You smile softly and feel your body go light, only anchored by Toby’s warm embrace.
#ticci toby#creepypasta#creepypasta x reader#ticci toby x reader#x reader#reader insert#angst with a happy ending#angst#light angst#toby creepypasta
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Sleep? Never Heard of Her
College is kicking Techno’s ass.
Wilbur huffs, annoyed that his headphones are suddenly missing. Tommy has been out with friends all day and Phil has been at work, so that only leaves one possible thief. Technoblade. Wilbur marches up to his brother's door and bangs once before barging in, “Techno my head… phones…” The middle child’s rage dissipates as his eyes find his older brother. Techno is on his bed surrounded by heavy textbooks and thinning notebooks. There are several pens and pencils scattered on the floor and bed around the usual stuffed animals and a few laminated flash cards fall off the bed. However Techno, instead of having his face in these studying materials, is instead asleep, holding his stuffed pig. His flower patterned pajama pants are rolled up to the knees and the band tshirt has also been pushed up. The heat of the summer has the blankets on the floor, and his long pink hair is tied up in a bun. The bags under his eyes could probably carry the textbooks that caused them. The headphones Wilbur has been looking for, sure enough, are around Techno’s neck, and Wilbur can hear pop punk playing deafeningly loud from them. The younger brother sighs and quietly starts clearing the bed, being sure not to close any books so no page was lost. It seems college is kicking Techno’s ass. Wilbur takes the empty monster and red bull cans from the night stand and throws them in the recycle bin, then grabs a water bottle from the fridge and places it and a bottle of Advil on the nightstand. He’ll text Phil to pick up some healthy food on the way home, even if that means complaining from Tommy. Wilbur shuts the door quietly and jumps a bit at a knocking at the front door. “LET ME IN!” The youngest brother shouts, and Wilbur shuffles quickly to open the door and shush him. “Techno is asleep, shut up!” Tommy instantly changes into a whisper like Wil’s, “Finally? How long has it been?” “Too long,” Wil responds as the two brothers fall onto the couch. “I’m gonna ask Phil to pick up some chicken and salad on his way home.” Tommy whines, “Gross, I’m not eating that! Tell him to get pizza.” “No. Starve.” Tommy punches his brother in the shoulder. Wilbur punches back. They do this for two minutes. Thankfully quietly, knowing Techno would not appreciate being woken up by their fighting, and would probably suplex them both through the coffee table. Even if that meant Phil suplexing Techno through the window. Just a vicious cycle of suplexes. Wilbur delivers the last punch, “What did you and Tubbo do today?” Tommy is immediately distracted from their fight, “Oh it was so fun man we went to the arcade and I beat him at DDR.” Wilbur snorts, “That’s a fucking lie.” Tommy gasps quietly in offence, “How dare you Wil, I would never!” “Toms, you get winded climbing the stairs. Tubbo plays soccer at school. There’s no way you beat him in a very physically draining game.” Tommy huffs and chugs his diet coke he left on the coffee table yesterday. Gross. “I’ll have you know, Wilbur, I am incredibly capable. And I did beat him! Even if that was only because Ranboo and I kept pushing him off the pad.” Wilbur muffles his laugh with his sweater sleeve, “Wow Tommy, teaming with the enemy. You’ve changed, ‘Big Man’.” The offence on Tommy’s face is priceless. Wilbur wishes Techno could see it.
When Phil comes back from work, he’s carrying a few bags as promised. “Tommy, come help me cook please.” Tommy groans in annoyance as he is yeeted off of the smash bros stage by Wilbur in the moment of distraction. “Fine. I don’t even like this food.” “Uh huh,” Phil says with an amused smile. The two blondes set to work in the kitchen, falling into a pleasant rhythm. Tommy ends up doing most of the cooking since Phil has to keep Wilbur out of the kitchen for fear of a fire, but Tommy’s the best cook anyway and he enjoys it, so it’s fine. On another one of Wilbur’s arson attempts, Techno’s door opens, and attention turns to him. He’s a mess of hair and eye bags. “I’m gonna take a shower, no one use the water.” “I’m cooking though, Tech.” “Sounds like a you problem, Toms.” The two brothers lovingly flip each other off, and Techno grabs a towel from the hall closet. Once the running water is heard, Wilbur turns to Phil, “He’s been awake for like 32 hours and only slept like 3 hours.” Phil sighs, “I don’t even know if it’s stress or insomnia at this point. He has an appointment soon to get better meds because he said his insomnia ones weren’t working and he hates the adderall, but I don’t know what will help.” Tommy waves the knife he was using to cut the chicken around, “I know what’ll help. Going to that college and beating up the professors. But no, no one wants to use the Tommyinnit method.” Phil laughs quietly, “Oh trust me, we want too. It just won’t help.” “What if we knock him out, I steal his clothes and wear a wig, and go for him for a bit?” Phil bonks Wilbur, “You know he freaks about missing lectures, and I know you’ll fall asleep and not take notes.” “That’s not a no!” “Food’s done,” Tommy says, and the shower water sound stops. Fucking psychic, Techno is. Techno is out and dressed as soon as Phil is done plating. “Welcome back mate. Did you sleep well?” Techno shrugs and takes his plate to the couch. “Techno, play smash bros with me! Wilbur keeps cheating!” “I don’t cheat you little shit I’m just better than you!” “No one is better than me. Big Man. Tommyinnit. The legend.” Techno silently grabs a controller, and the other three would be worried at the quietness if they didn’t know how too much time studying fries Techno’s brain too much for him to properly formulate words, and the stuttering and grasping for a forgotten word is incredibly embarrassing to him since he’s usually so eloquent. So the two brothers play a few rounds, Techno taking bites of salad in between kicking his brother’s ass. The plates are cleaned and Tommy reluctantly gives up. Phil talks quietly to Techno, “Are you gonna go back to studying?” A nod. “Can I stop you at all?” Shake of the head. “Do you wanna use us as body doubles?” Another nod. Wilbur chimes in, “You can keep using my headphones too.” “Oh, Techno, did yours break again?” A small nod. “I’ll add a new pair to the shopping list then. Go get your work. I’ll be here if you need help.” Techno drags out his many textbooks and drops one flat on Tommy where he’s laying on the floor. “Ow, what the fuck Tech!?” Tommy receives a middle finger in response which he of course returns. Techno does not need words to bully his brother. He uses Tommy as a table on the floor as Tommy just keeps losing in smash bros to Phil.
An hour later, the floor bros are asleep, and Phil drapes blankets over them and places pillows beneath their heads. Who knows when they’ll sleep again if he tries to move them and they wake up? Phil and Wilbur climb into their own beds and soon join the two sleepy bois. Thankfully, Techno is still asleep when Phil gets up for work in the morning. He slips a note next to his face, ‘You don’t have a lecture today :) -phil’ That should stop his groggy brain from freaking out, and Phil is off to work.
#sbi#sleepy bois inc#technoblade#wilbur soot#tommyinnit#philza#crownedaxo writes#dsmp#dream smp#dsmp writing#dsmp fanfic#sbi writing#sbi fanfic
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how many wips do you have? like what are they all, and not the number of wips in a fandom? what are all the names?
okay. fuck you. fuck you so much. fuck you.
i’m putting this under a read more cut no one else deserves to see this shit. a lot of these are requests, and for those i will just write out the request itself
Shadowhunters:
domestic polycule fluff with tem, jessa, and will because im not a coward
Supernatural
- hehe hoho i request destiel hehehe
- request 61/? cai cai cai cai i need you to rewrite the destiel scene but yk. GOOD. not like i'm in the know about the spn fandom or anything, it's been years for me. but DO IT
Bright Sessions
- caleb/adam grisha AU
- mark bryant vs. united states aka sue the AM
- caleb/adam college fluff
Umbrella Acaademy
- request 31/? i want a ben and klaus drabble please spare me some brotherly bickering
- AND SO BEGINS NIGHT 4 with request 13/? oooh oooh can i get a raymond and allison playlist??? i think their vibes together would SLAP
- hi there night 2 is technically morning 3 but who's counting not me anyway request 5/? can i get a ben moodboard? gotta rep my tua bb
Percy Jackson
- request 9/? can i get a percabeth moodboard or quote edit?? like god they're the og couple goals take me back to high school cai
- For the 100 follower things :D Jercy getting caught in the rain
- request 29/? a drabble about literally anything to do with pjo. i’ll be happy with anyone and anything i’m love these children
- *somersaults in like I’m a real fancy acrobat* hello ello ello may I request some camp half blood chaos possible involving *does a flip* ✨side characters✨ <3
Penumbra Podcast
- request 52/? drabble about the penumbra podcast. this is for ren bc ren likes it and i don't actually know anything about it. juno? i think? that's the one ren likes. write it for ren
- Tpp ghost hunting / buzzfeed unsolved au
- sad juno smut
- final resting place fic go brrrr
Marvel
- request 6/? i'm going to my roots y'all can i get a spider-man playlist? if not a playlist then i'd honestly be happy with literally anything involving spider-man
- request 15/? i'm going crazy this is recorded evidence of me actually losing it ANYWAY can i get a quote edit for something from iron man? literally anything that man says is gold so cai's choice :D he deserved better in endgame i'm still bitter
- request 42/? do another spidey thing that differs from the other spidey thing
- request 73/? you have Opinions. rant about infinity way and/or endgame. go.
- request 74/? quote edit for deadpool!!
- spideytorch relationship character study
- peter parker as a tired grad student monitoring the young avengers (send help)
Six of Crows
- okay listen i wasn't going to request anything bc i worry about you but also? if you want to/have the time hit me with a playlist for our girl nina zenik
- request 43/? fuckin give me the ending anya should have had. she is alive and with her new son and having a great time
- request 45/? inej moodboard?
- request 47/? will you make literally any meme of your choosing for six of crows?
- request 48/? write a drabble for kaz, my favorite bastard
- okay so i don't actually like nina or mattias that much but i still wanna hear about your thoughts (and also see if you'll change my mind)
- kaz brekker turning 18 fic. birthday party, everyone singing, whole shebang. i need it stat
- religious trauma fic aka i started shipping kaz/alina/inej and i can’t stop
- kaz trauma soup (he has D.I.D. and you can’t prove me wrong)
- my two redacted fics for @grishaversebigbang
- wesper fake dating
- six of crows bright sessions crossover: everyone gets therapy
TMA
- uhh... s1 gang having a nice time? melanie getting to have some Pride™️? some "fun" horror thing?
- request 7/? spare steph and jason bonding? please sir? spare some for a humble child such as myself?
- okay so this was meant for night 3 but i had midterm shit SO this is honorary night 3 let's DO THIS request 8/? i want a moodboard of extremely out of context magnus archives shit like i mean confuse the FUCK out of me i don't go here i know Nothing about it
- request 11/? OKAY so i need tim stoker meeting tim drake now i need my timmy to meet your tim plus i want to see character differences no i'm not trying to create a tim stoker in my head so i can read a's fic while NOT thinking of tim drake whaaaaaat you're crazy
- request 18(i think)/? i need a quote edit of every time within the first like. 15 eps of tam where jon is like “sounds fake but go off” thank u bb
- request 40/? i challenge you to write a tma drabble based only on the episodes i've heard. i'm currently halfway through episode 23
- Jon being lovingly bullied into taking a break. I'm aware this has been written a million times but it is one of my favorite things.
- spiral!sasha AU
- extinction martin go brrrrr
- high school era timsasha. they've both been friends for years, and everyone always asks when they will be a couple. they decide to fake date, to prove everyone wrong and show what a bad couple they would be. turns out that's a bit trickier than they thought
- after sasha comes back, tim is broken. he can't let go, scared that if he looks away for even a minute he'll lose her again. sasha suggests shibari as a way for him to give up control
- sasha pov mag 19 au, sacrificing herself to save the others, knows that if she gives herself up to the not!them it will let the others live
- this is the "tim finds a polaroid of sasha" trope
- early archives days,, long nights in research,,, clothes sharing,, somft. late nights and falling asleep at their desks warm and safe in the other's presence
- two parts: timsasha as kids, each picking a constellation that is "theirs". just soft kid antics. tim at sasha's grave glancing up to see their constellations
- continuing your job’s a joke (you’re broke)
DC Comics
- TIMSTEPH HADESTOWN AU,,,
- my redacted fic for @batfam-big-bang
- request for you to get a decent amount of sleep? serious answer, dickkori, SAL's Venus
- request 4/? timsteph morning after 👀 mayhaps?
- a concept: nonbinary stephanie brown
- teehee hi mom, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but can i request damian angst for your accomplishments 100 followers?
- hi you can ignore my first request if you want, or you can ignore this one. but bls possibly write some bikini ra’s? -the bikini bitch
- request 27/? jay is asking through me for a jondami playlist but tbh i also want it so win win yk?
- "I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does" with bruce and jason? im just craving bruce being a good day to jason for once
- “I am putting you in time out because you need to understand the consequences of your actions.” with steph and jason as dumbass disaster bi best friends pretty please?
- request 32/? timsteph patrol date!!!
- request 33/? timsteph *gala* date? mayhaps??
- request 37/? tim drake drabble but make it Edgy cai
- request 39/? drabble of a prank war between tim and damian
- joyfire cuddly fluff please? or like just any outlaw fluff if joyfire isnt your thing (feel free to add every member of the outlaws, dont feel like u gotta stick with jason, kori, roy i love them all)
- barbara and robin! jason fluff? bonding over books or something?
- request 62/? i need a drabble about the chaotic trio jason, tim, and steph i'm love them ty
- request 63/? batfam x mcu crossover. batfam meets ironfam. give me ALL the cliches. ALL OF THEM
- request 64/? young justice x young avengers - jay cuz idk SHIT about the young avengers
- request 66/? jondami moodboard pls and ty
- request 67/? timsteph moodboard!!!!!!
- request 69/? HEHEHE kinky 😏 i would v much like a timsteph drabble of the almost first time. does that make sense? like i don't want you to go all the way NSFW cuz i know that's against the rules and i'm a rule follower. but like they *almost* go all the way. this could be fade to black or some shit i don't care just make it a lil steamy and have Fun
- i request damian angst! all of it
- hmm... maybe i request? jondami?
- mayhaps,,,,some batfam,,,,,committing crimes? ily be gay do crime <3 - lu
- How about a ficlet with Steph and Cass?
Found Family Bingo Prompts
- no powers au
- tunnel
- first day
- join the club
- hurt/comfort
- experiment
- playing favorites
- hold on
- possession
- 10 o’clock
- singing
- road
- snitch
- curfew
- timer
- fantasy au
- zombie au
- dreams
- campfire
- are you okay
- movie night
- games
- scared
Miscellaneous
- a request: Write A Drabble, Coward
- is it too late to request a moodboard for me?
- request 20/? i’m going off book because i’m in a Chaotic Mood™️ can you just absolutely vibe check me like go off cai demolish me
- request 21/? i formally request that you pick a favorite cai. i don’t care what that favorite pertains to, just pick a favorite something
- request 23/? roast me
- request 24/? can i have a buzzfeed unsolved spoopy playlist but spoiler alert it’s not spoopy bc shane doesn’t believe does this make sense it has been a Day™️
- request 25/50 i want a jake and amy fic make it Soft cai i’m love them b99 is so good
- request 28/? i know nothing about the lord of the rings so make something that will confuse the shit out of me
- request 34/? malvie and jaylos moodboards 😈
- request 35/? a moodboard for the bbb mods!! perceive all of us!!!
- request 36/? moodboard for the tua mods too???? mayhaps??
- request 41/? doctor WHO? idk but i want a drabble of him and the one character i know from doctor who which is rose
- request 46/? make an alignment meme with our group, have fun!!!
- request 49/? i want you to kin assign me a character from every fandom you can/want to. go feral
- request 50!!!!/? this is a special request. the most special request. can you make a bastards tbh playlist? i want our vibes encapsulated. i want us in music form. i want to hear those songs and be like "that's me and cai" and smile.
- requests 51/? i know jack shit about good omens. explain it to me in the most confusing way possible. make me know less by the end than i know now
- request 53/? can you write a mel aesthetic? i'm Curious
- request 54/? give me a list of book recs cai i want some good book recs pls
- request 56/? edit a picture of US together too
- request 58/? oooh can i have a disney edit? like. hm. i just really love disney and i want anything to do with disney. like a quote or an aesthetic or an aesthetic edit i just want disney.
- request 59/? i would v much like a recipe for carbonara. i've never had it but it sounds fucking delicious
- request 60/? ooh hey can i get a makeup tutorial? i know you like makeup, i'm shit at doing makeup. teach me
- request 65/? i need the most emo playlist you can make that vibes with dear evan hansen thank you
- request 68/? i want a superwholock moodboard. this can be serious, with the actual fandoms in mind, or literally what the era felt like. the insanity. the horror.
- request 70/? ooh ooh ooh do you have a good bread recipe?? i wanna get that bread
- request 71/? i want a playlist with the vibes of summoning a demon. please don't ask questions. i don't have answers. and if i do, no i don't.
- For the requests, how about writing something based on a friend?
- request 75/? MMMM i want literally anything to do with natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812
- request 76/? i want some healthy recipes. help a girl out
- a feral bbb quote or two?
- you perceive my plant but now I dare thee to perceive mine own visage
- okay this is a two for one request. 1. you did the bee movie script so now we need a shrek two script edit 2. sleep please
- Pansexual mb for my lil queer soul?
- my (probably) final request is just for you to ramble about something, i don't really care what
- HI ILY CONGRATS AS WELL CAUSE IM LATE BUT CONGRATS. could i request a pirates of the caribbean (or just pirates) or whatever you what to do, free range.
- mood board for the beluga whales who got brought to the animal sanctuary in Iceland please?
- 100 follower request: Moodboard for my stuffed cow Oaky?
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I WANNA KNOW ABT KIKI AND HALEY!! SAME WIFE!! SAME WIFE!!
god okay here we go again. also sometimes i resent sebastian for existing b/c i literally cannot bring myself to NOT marry him in game even for haley but also if i had decided to marry haley i wouldn’t have made kiki and i would’ve designed a completely different chara to go with haley
haley + kiki friendship
to make up for me not marrying haley i decided a long time ago she was kiki’s first crush when she moved to stardew valley
ig kiki and sebastian became best friends before dating but she was best friends with haley before him and anyone else. i feel like she and sebastian are neck in neck for title of the person kiki goes to first for things like if she’s upset but honestly if push comes to shove it’s haley. sorry sebastian i trust women more
haley was also the first person to figure out what happened to kiki before she moved away too b/c she was the person kiki felt was safest to tell. also it’s so hard to lie to haley she probably saw through any excuses she made anyway
and because they’re best friends they hang out excessively (sometimes emily tags along) so they do stuff like baking, helping haley with her photography, sleepovers. sometimes haley likes doing kiki’s makeup even though she knows and is annoyed by how kiki sweats it off by running around all the time
kiki definitely planted a bunch of sunflowers on the farm just because haley likes them even though the seeds are so pricey
kiki and haley both have tons of polaroids and pictures of each other in their respective rooms. for kiki she probably has them scattered everywhere like on the fridge, taped on the wall, even framed. idk she likes looking at them
also i know haley does photography as a hobby but kiki probably made sebastian help haley set up a website so she could market herself as a professional photographer
kiki does the whole dance tradition with haley at the flower dance because haley deserves better than alex and she likes complimenting haley abt being flower queen u_u plus kiki knows the dance means a lot to her too
speaking of alex kiki hates alex because she thinks he’s too mean to haley. she likes most of the villagers excluding you know clint and morris or whatever but she literally can’t stand alex. it’s so jarring b/c she’ll stop by the ice cream stand where haley hangs out with alex and will be so nice to haley but then look back at alex like :| and no one believes him when he says that she hates him b/c she’s so nice to the rest of the villagers
haley is a really good friend idc. i wish people would stop giving her shit for being a bitch b/c i firmly believe once she is close to someone (kiki in this case) she’d be so protective and WILL bite anyone who is mean to her friends. she definitely gives good advice
haley does that weird? bully friend thing with kiki. not as in legitimate bullying but you know she lovingly calls her dummy and sometimes flicks her forehead for being stupid LOL
god i love haley. if you hate haley do not interact. she’s so lovely idc
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My Hero
Pairing: Emmett Cullen x reader
Request: “Would you be so kind to do one where Emmett and the reader are together? Like she is getting bullied or harrassed and Emmett comes to her rescue and pampers her? Btw I love your work please keep it up!!!”
Word Count: 1005
Warnings: Bullying - may be triggering for some readers
Masterlist | Fandoms | Submit A Request
To say that some of your “friends” and classmates were jealous when you began going out with the big, sexy, mysterious muscle mass that is Emmett Cullen - would be an understatement. When the two of you went public, everyone was beyond shocked. When you stepped out of his car for the first time, everyone stared unashamedly. Girls glared at you, guys watched in awe. The people who you had considered friends ignored you, and new people tried to pretend to be your friend just so that they could try to get close to Emmett.
The feeling was horrible.
After about two weeks, everyone seemed to adjust to the idea that not only did Emmett Cullen have a girlfriend, but it was you. Almost everyone, that is.
Some of the more popular girls in your grade could not let it go. They would flirt with him at his locker or in class, follow him around like a lost puppy. And whenever he would ignore them and go off to find you, it seemed to infuriate and determinate them even more.
You stood at your locker as you gathered your items, beyond ready to head home for the day. It seemed like it drug on forever, and right not you really just need to relax with Emmett. However, he was in the nurse’s office with Edward, making sure that Bella was not hurt from that kid almost squishing her with his truck - and that their secret was safe.
Suddenly, your locker door slams shut, nearly on your fingers, and you jump back - startled and frightened. “What does he even see in her?” Ginger, one of the more popular girls in your grade, speaks aloud.
Beside her stands Allison, head of the cheer squad, smirking grossly at you. “She’s so... plain Jane. I mean, look at her hair. It’s never styled. And you barely wear makeup... Your clothes are so prudish.. Come on girl, show some skin.” She taunts, tugging at your T-shirt.
You swat her hand away and pull your books up to your chest, attempting to remain straight faced, despite her hurtful words.
“He could do so much better. I just don’t get it.” Ginger continues, crossing her arms as she looks you up and down.
“Maybe she’s just his little slut.” Allison adds, Ginger nodding her head at the comment.
“Leave me alone.” You mutter, feeling your eyes beginning to burn at the tears threatening to fall.
“Why? Can’t take a little criticism? What is it? Huh? Why would he pick you, out of every girl in this school, why you? There’s gotta be some explanation.” Ginger continues, taking a hostile step toward you.
Before you can attempt to retaliate, a large arm is thrown over your shoulder, causing you to jump again. However, it’s only Emmett - although he certainly doesn’t look happy.
“Did I hear you correctly or were you actually bullying my girlfriend..?” He questions, glaring down at Ginger. He is easily a foot taller than her, and she actually looks a little intimidated by him. You put a hand on his chest and look up at him, his eyes diverting to look at you. “They aren’t worth it, just take me home.” You mutter, not in any mood to start a fight or make anyone dislike you more than they already do. He shoots one last dirty look at the girls as he takes your bag from you, placing it over his own muscular shoulder, and dropping his arm back over you.
“Stay away from her.” He warns, then starts guiding you toward the front door, eager to get you home and make you feel better.
You don’t say another word until you reach his jeep, where Jasper and Alice are already waiting. “What happened?” Jasper asks, obviously feeling how distraught you were and angry Emmett was.
“Nothing, doesn’t matter.” You insist as you open the passenger door and slide into the car, placing your books in your lap and resting you head against the door.
“Some girls were picking on her. Because of me.” Emmett explains quietly, making his angry voice sound husky. You feel your mood lightening and are momentarily confused - then you turn and shoot a look at Jasper, who gives you an apologetic half-smile.
“Guys, I’m fine. It’s nothing new, everyone thinks it. We all know it. Can we just please get out of here?” Emmett sighs and hops into the car, Alice and Jasper following suit, and he speeds out of the parking lot. No more words are exchanged, and Jasper leaves your emotions be. You try your best not to let what they said effect you, but you can’t help but agree with them. Why would Emmett choose you over all the other girls in your school?
As if he could tell what you were thinking, Emmett places his large right hand on your thigh, brushing his thumb lovingly over it and glancing over at you as he drives.
“Nothing they said was true. You are perfect for me, I am the luckiest guy out there.” He mutters, taking your hand into his own and bringing it up to his lips, placing a sweet, chaste kiss on the back of your palm. You can’t help but blush and smile at his sweet words, nodding your head to say that you believe him.
“And I am the luckiest girl.” You respond, interlocking your fingers with his, admiring his gorgeous grin as he keeps his eyes on the road. You feel your mood has lightened once again, but this time due to Emmett’s sweetness - and you decide to let everything they said go. Who cares what they think? All that matters is what Emmett does, and he thinks the world of you. He chose you over them, that’s something to feel proud of. And you are here sitting in his car, on your way back to his house, where he is going to focus his undivided attention on you - so that’s enough payback that those girls need anyway. ;)
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Let me know if you’d like to be added to one of my taglists!
Also, I just wanna say that I do not condone bullying AT ALL and if anyone ever feels like they need someone to talk to, my inbox is open. Everyone is special in their own ways and nobody deserves to ever be made feel unimportant and lesser in value. If you are going through something like this, please talk to someone you can trust and do your best to ignore whatever they say about you. If you stay strong, no one can take that from you. <3
#emmett cullen imagine#emmett cullen x reader#emmett cullen oneshot#emmett cullen fanfic#twilight imagine#twilight x reader#emmett twilight x reader#emmett cullen drabble#emmett cullen blurb#twilight fanfiction#emmett cullen fluff#emmett cullen angst#twilight preferences
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It was Always You, Red Crackle childhood friends au chapter 1
Summary: AU Carmen and Graham had been best friends since that moment she punched Sheena in the face for pushing Graham in the sandbox. She was younger, but she'd always be there to protect her best friend from bullies!
"C-Can I marry you s-someday?" Graham stuttered, his cheeks and even the tips of his ears turning pink. Carmen let out a laugh, flicking his forehead. "Ouch!"
"You're silly! That would only happen if you became cool!" Carmen joked.
Flash forward to college--Graham and Carmen are reunited and Graham isn't the same boy who needed Carmen to beat up his bullies anymore. Now he's super handsome, charming, and did he just wink at her???
"Graham?" Carmen choked.
"Actually it's Gray now." Gray smirked
-----------------------
Carmen remembers her first day of daycare at V.I.L.E—Valued Interest in Lengthened Education—in the Canary Islands. She was clinging to her adoptive father Suhara like he was her lifeline. Suhara was accepted to be a professor for the prestigious school from daycare to graduate school institution, and with that came Carmen’s free ride into V.I.L.E Academy. Suhara would never have to worry about his little girl getting a poor education and Suhara was guaranteed his position with tons of benefits and job security.
However, a new home and a new school was quite scary for little Carmen, and she expressed displeasure at the move.
“I don’t wanna go, Papa!” Three-year-old Carmen protested. “New places are scary! Japan is better!”
Suhara gave her a soft smile and patted her head.
“New places are only scary if you let them be.” Suhara told her. Carmen pouted but saw his point.
“You’ll be there?” Carmen asked.
“Yes. We’ll be together.” Suhara promised her. This swayed little Carmen, and she hugged her father tightly.
Now it was the big day. Today she would be meeting kids her own age who would be learning new stuff like her. She wondered if any of the kids would be lonely. Unlike her, none of their parents were allowed on the island. It was the price to pay for their little ones to gain the best education.
“What if no one likes me?” Carmen worried. Suhara grinned.
“They’d have low intelligence then.” Suhara simply stated. Carmen giggled and allowed Suhara to hand her off to Miss Cookie Booker, the daycare to elementary director. Cookie cooed at the little girl. Suhara watched Carmen be taken away, inwardly wincing at the handful his daughter was. He hoped Miss Booker was used to mischievous children…
------
“Here we are, sweetheart!” Miss Booker opened the door to the daycare center and Carmen’s eyes widened at the vast amount of kids and play equipment there was. There were also multiple tables for drawing and coloring and tons of toys to play with! Carmen didn’t know what she wanted to do first!
Cookie put her down on the floor and left to attend to other duties. Carmen noticed a man with a hat staring at a picture lovingly, not at all paying attention to the kids running around. Carmen was alone. She shifted nervously before deciding to just roll with it and start playing. She hurried to the slide, racing up it and twisting herself over the bar to slide down.
“Hey there!” a voice with an accent called out. Carmen stopped flipping herself over the slide to see two orange haired kids staring at her in glee. The boy climbed up the small slide and moved beside her. “Did you try this?” he asked, using the overhead of the slide to roll himself backwards in a flip, slipping down the slide backwards. Carmen was excited. She copied the boy, her smaller size allowing her to be more graceful than him.
“Now you should try this one!” the girl joined them and proceeded to roll forward down the small slide. The boy and Carmen clapped in approval.
“Name’s Ivy! This is my brother Zack!” Ivy introduced themselves.
“I’m Carmen!” Carmen grinned, happy she met fellow kids her age.
“Stick with us, Carm! We’ll show you the ropes!” Zack says.
“Me and Zack are always doing tricks cause Mr. Haber is too busy making kissy faces at Miss Cleo!” Ivy added.
“Kissy faces?” Carmen tilted her face. Zack and Ivy grimaced together.
“Yeah! He ain’t normal! Girls have cooties!” Zack shuddered. Ivy looked insulted.
“Excuse me?” Ivy put her little hands on her hips. Zack sweated a bit.
“Well I mean, you and Carm don’t have cooties! You’re awesome!” Zack amended. Ivy appeared satisfied. While they were bickering, Carmen’s attention was drawn to the windows leading to the outside. Her eyes immediately locked onto the larger playground equipment where kids bigger than them were playing. Her heart longed to be out there—imagine all the tricks she could do!
“Oh! Yeah, we can’t go out to the big kid playground yet.” Ivy noticed where she was looking, also looking bummed out.
“Yeah! It stinks! The big kids get to go out there all the time! Unfair!” Zack gave off a pout, crossing his arms. “I could push Trey into a sandbox!”
Carmen continued to watch all the bigger kids playing outside. There were so many! However, her eyes caught a certain boy who looked fearful. He was older than her and looked nervous at the surrounding kids. Carmen’s eyes narrowed when she saw a blonde-haired girl push the brown-haired boy into the sandbox, the other kids laughing.
Anger seized her, and before she thought about it, she was already running towards the windows, trying to unlock them. Zack and Ivy followed her, wondering what she was doing.
“It’s okay, Carm! We’ll get out there someday.” Ivy tried to reassure her.
“There’s a kid being pushed! We gotta help him!” Carmen told them, pointing to the scene. Zack and Ivy saw one of the kids kick some sand into the lanky brown-haired boy’s face. The injustice of it caused them to race to the window and try to help their newfound friend. They were all too familiar with Trey picking on Zack to know what bullying looked like.
“Ow!” Zack exclaimed after punching the glass, nothing happening. He put his fist in his mouth to try and soothe it.
“We can’t break it!” Ivy was frustrated. Carmen glanced up and saw a lock, her eyes glinting with an idea.
“Give me a boost!” Carmen urged them. Zack and Ivy allowed Carmen to climb their shoulders and she immediately grabbed the lock, unlatching it, the window creaking open enough for a little kid to slip through. “Yes!”
With that, she used Ivy and Zack to climb out the window, tumbling into the bushes. Not wasting any time, the three-year-old rolled to her feet and raced towards the sandbox. The brown-haired boy was rubbing his eyes to rid himself of sand, trying in vain not to cry as the kids laughed at him, and Carmen vaulted herself towards the blonde-haired girl as she was about to shove the boy again.
“Wha—” the girl cried as Carmen tackled her to the ground, sitting on her stomach and flinging her fists rapidly into the girl’s face. The girl was screaming, drawing the attention of everyone on the playground. Her friends tried to help her, reaching for Carmen, but it appeared Zack and Ivy were able to escape as well because the twins gave a war cry, shoving themselves into the two other boys. Soon there were tons of kids in the elementary division coming over to witness the three daycare kids wail on some of the kindergartners.
“What in the world?!” A voice exclaimed. Someone was running towards them quickly and soon Carmen was lifted from the older girl, being restrained. “Stop this at once!” the stern voice ordered.
It was Miss Cookie Booker, looking furious and flabbergasted at how three of the daycare kids got out of the daycare room. Two other attendants scooped up Zack and Ivy as well, who struggled greatly in their arms.
“Let me at ‘em!” Zack gave a shout, wiggling.
“We’ll break their nose!” Ivy added.
“The twins…” Cookie Booker groaned in dismay. She looked down at Carmen who gave her a glare back. How dare this lady forbid her from beating up the bullies! Cookie’s eyes narrowed. “How on earth did you three get out?”
“Ma’am! The window is wide open!” one of the attendants pointed. Sure enough, Miss Booker could see where Carmen, Zack and Ivy crawled out of. She paled.
“Where was Dash Haber? Those windows should remain locked!” Cookie exclaimed. Her eyes then narrowed. “He better not have been looking at pictures of Miss Cleo again or so help me—”
“I’ll have you know I did no such thing!” Mr. Haber made himself known, his cheeks flushed, clearly indicating he was doing just that. He sighed when he saw the culprits of this fight. “Zack, Ivy, not you two again!”
“They had an accomplice this time.” Cookie held up Carmen, who looked annoyed with being displayed to the faculty.
“She bwoke my wose!” the blonde-haired girl cried, blood coming from her nostrils. Her two friends looked worse for wear as well.
“Don’t push people then!” Carmen fired back. The blonde-haired girl looked furious.
“Why you—”
“Sheena, you’re picking on the other kids again?! I’ll have to add that to your progress report to your parents! You too, Antonio and Jean Paul!” Miss Cookie barked. The three children protested, but Miss Booker was firm. She handed Carmen to Dash and ushered the three delinquents to the nurse’s office. Dash eyed Carmen suspiciously and Carmen raised a brow back, daring him to say something. He sighed, signaling to the other attendants to follow him with Zack and Ivy. They were soon returned to the daycare center with the window being latched shut, Zack and Ivy praising her for her sick moves against Sheena.
“That was so cool! Think you can do that to Trey?” Zack asked her happily. Carmen grinned, glad Zack and Ivy still thought she was awesome.
“I hope that kid’s okay.” Carmen fretted, her mind still on the boy. Ivy patted her shoulder.
“I’m sure he’s fine! He got a hero to save him!” Ivy pumped her fist. Carmen let herself be at ease and soon the three were back doing cool tricks on the play equipment. It wasn’t until designated nap time that Carmen was reminded of her earlier battle.
Mr. Haber was currently out of the room, assisting with other duties during the kids’ nap time. Carmen was woken up by a tiny knock on the window. Curious, she crept closer, finding the window slightly ajar. Mr. Haber must not have latched it shut all the way.
“Psst! You in there?” a boy’s voice whispered. His face peaked up and Carmen saw it was the brown-haired boy from before. She stood on her tip toes to face him. Seeing her grey eyes locking with his brown ones, an elated grin erupted on his face. “It’s you!” he spoke with a heavy accent, different from Zack and Ivy’s but it wasn’t unpleasant.
“It’s you too!” Carmen whispered, her voice drifting through the gap. The boy looked positively ecstatic she remembered him. She nudged closer to the glass, attempting to get closer to him. He did the same, their breaths both coated their side of the glass.
“J-Just wanted to say thanks—you’re a tough sheila!” the boy’s meek tone traveled through the window. Carmen didn’t know what a Sheila was, but found his stutter cute.
“You’re welcome! My Papa says to always be like the samuwai! Samuwai are heroes!” Carmen told him, thinking back to Suhara and his stories about Japan.
“W-what’s your name?” he was eager to know, despite his shyness. Carmen could see the bushes hid him well. No one was the wiser to him coming to the window and conversing with her.
“I’m Carmen! What’s yours?” Carmen grinned. Her first day and she already was making even more friends! Papa will be so proud!
“I’m G—” here he squeaked, blushing heavily, before clearing his throat, continuing “I’m Graham.” He tried to sound deeper, more confident. Carmen giggled and a delighted smile spread across his features. She placed her hand on the window glass, with Graham matching her.
“Nice to meet ya, Graham!” she whispered happily.
It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
#red crackle#carmen sandiego#gray crackle#graham crackle#cs#carmen x graham#carmen x gray#childhood friend au
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Lovely Tears (One Shot)
Word count: 1569
Pairing: Hyunjin (Stray Kids) x Junhyung (OnlyOneOf), bxb
Genre: Angst
Warnings: Mentioning of suicide, mentioning of bullying, Insults, homophobia
Summary: Hyunjin lays on the floor of his room alone and cries and thinks about what happened in the last time.
Theme Song: Rise Against - Make It Stop (September's Children)
[A/N: Happy Pride Month!
It's a pretty short one shot this time and I'm not really satisfied with it, but I hope you like it anyways~
I'll start with saying thank you to my precious friends who helped me with this. This would be include Lou, who helped me with finding a good ship, Auli who helped me when I had problems with translating the unique person who made again a beautiful cover for me and of course Jojo who helped me a lot with the translations. Then, I'm still not that good at writing in English and if there are still some mistakes, please tell me! And again, I really wanna become better at writing and it would be so great if you could tell me what you think about my one shot and of you have any criticism or something hehe~
Last but not least I'd like to recommend the theme song to you. It's a great song with an important meaning.]
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Shakily he raised his hand and looked at it in the dim moonlight that made it through the window into the room. His breath was heavy, but still not as heavy as his heart. It was only a matter of time until he’d cry again, writhing on the floor, sobbing and calling quietly for help.
“Princes don’t cry.”, he repeated now for the almost hundredth time.
“P-princes don’t cry.” He clung to these words as if they were the salvation he had longed for.
“Princes d-do…” A single, small tear rolled down his cheek. “…don’t cry.”, he let out weakly. Slowly he lowered his hand again, put it on the floor and braced himself against it. His legs laid cramped next to him, slightly suggesting the embryo position. A second tear left his eye. His arms began to shake even more violent and he wouldn’t be able to hold his own weight for long.
“Naww, is this little pussy crying again?”, he scoffed at himself. “You’re such a damn sissy, Hyunjin, honestly. Such a small, unworthy, shitty crybaby.” He spat out each word individually to express his contempt for himself more. The contempt of others, who repeated these sentences mantra-like in front of him day by day. “Why does something like you even exist?” Hyunjin could feel how they pushed him against the wall. “You know what?”, he hissed at himself, putting his hands on his neck, just as they had done so many times before, that the feeling of not having pressure on his lungs was almost foreign to him.
“You’re not worth the fucking air you breathe.” He closed his grip a little more with each word he spoke. The black-haired boy gasped for air, his arms began to shake even more again, but this didn’t make his grip come lose. On the contrary. He clung to his neck with all his might. Hyunjin started to kick his legs severely, trying to fight himself.
“W-where are you?”, he sobbed weakly as he closed his eyes and finally released his grip. He raised his hand again, opened it and looked at his empty palm. “I mi-miss you.”, he breathed faintly. “So, so badly.” Tears filled his eyes again, took his view. “Is the stupid baby screaming after him again?” This time the mockery didn’t come from his mouth, but only from his memory.
“It’s time for you to understand that this bitch was smart enough to make the right choice.” Hyunjin wanted to say something, wanted to scream and fight for him, wanted to make sure they left him alone. But all he could get out of his mouth was a meaningless whine.
They had hit his sore spot. The only place that couldn’t be healed with a bit of disinfectant spray and bandage. And in his memory, the moment was even more unbearable. Having to listen again to how much he had always failed robbed him of his last bit of strength. His tears came over him like a wave and took away his last amount of hope. He tensed, felt his toes shaking and getting numb, then his legs and after that the rest of his body. Hyunjin’s head began to throb in pain. He closed his eyes and saw the horrible memories spinning in front of his eyes, getting louder, then quieter again and disappearing completely after that, leaving nothing but black. His own soft sobs were the only remaining sound in the room as well as in his thoughts.
“Why does it have to hurt so much?”, he gasped, not knowing how far away he still was from the end of this torture. “I-is it me?”, he stuttered, barely understandable. “Am I really so wrong?” He felt empty, exhausted and above all, lost. The 20-year-old had already seen the cruelest abysses, but he had never been this deep. He had always been certain that this was his own fault. That he was never good enough and never would be. But he had never considered that they were right. Those who punish him every day for what and who he was. Hyunjin felt weak. Weaker than usual. Unimportant. Unnecessary. Felt like he was nothing but a mistake.
“Hyunjin!” The older ones’ voice was a little deeper, but also gentler than Hyunjin’s. He remembered his voice too well and the light childish touch that it would’ve never lost. Now he was fully done and broken. A knife could have been slowly and painfully put in his chest and the pain wouldn’t been nearly as intense as the pain the voice he had just heard has caused.
“Junhyung?”, Hyunjin replied incredulously. Junhyung gently put his arm around the smaller one. “Did they hurt you again, my prince?”, whispered the blonde guy. Hyunjin ignored his question and opened his eyes to look once more at his boyfriend’s perfect face. “Junhyung? J-junji? D-darling?” In vain.
“Jinnie, don’t cry!” The kindly voice of Junhyung was clearly heard, but the boy himself was nowhere to be seen. “Darling? Where are you my angel?” Hyunjin repeatedly searched every single inch of the room with his eyes, but unsuccessfully.
he heard a soft sigh, but couldn’t make out where it came from. “My prince, handsome, stop it.”, the older boy begged sadly. “This world has so much to offer. There’s so much for you to see. So much love for you.”
The black-haired guy swallowed hardly. “W-what’s about to happen, angel?” He could feel Junhyung laying his arms around him from behind and kissing his earlobe gently. “I don’t wanna hurt you, Hyunjin.” His voice was still warm and lovingly, but his words hit Hyunjin devastatingly. “But I don’t wanna lie to you either, handsome. And as painful as it is, I unfortunately have to remind you that I am dead.” The words came so easily over his lips that Hyunjin, who has never been able to speak about it properly, froze. “I killed myself. And this happened already a year ago. Hyunjin, my prince…” Junhyung put his hands affectionately around the younger ones. “…I love you.” He tenderly placed his lips on his princes’ cheek. Hyunjin ran his hands slightly over the place where he felt the elder’s lips.
“I love you too.”, he panted wearily.
“I know. And it means so much more to me than you can imagine. But it stings my heart to see you crying out of pain.” It got silent for a short time. “And it’s time for you to continue living your life.” Junhyung fondly put his hands on Hyunjin’s cheek, as he had done to him so often when he was still alive and exhausted from the cruelty of his fellow human beings.
“You are not my angel.”, the black-haired spat out numbly. Junji hesitated. “No.”, he finally admitted. “No, I’m not Junhyung. Your angel, as you use to say. You’re right, I’m not him.” ‘Junyhung’ took away his hand from Hyunjin’s cheek. “I am the memory of him. Your subconscious that advises you to get over him.” All the warmth in ‘Junhyung’s’ voice was gone and nothing but the bitter truth remained.
“It’s too early!”, protested the younger boy, indignant and hurt by himself. “Is it really ‘too early’, Hyunjin? It’s been a year. Even longer. And you haven’t gotten a step further and let them destroy yourself every day.” Hyunjin glared at the floor, well knowing that his inner voice was only telling the truth.
“You never were like that before. You didn’t let yourself be taken down. You were fighting.” The tears in Hyunjin’s eyes were fading.
“I fought for him. For my Junhyung. The real one.”, he mumbled.
“Yes. And now you don’t do it anymore.”, his subconscious stated. The black-haired boy nodded abashedly.
“Because he’s dead. Because I failed miserably. Lost him. It’s too late.” Hyunjin emphasized the words as sharply as if he wanted to lose the fight against himself.
“Hyunjin. Both of us know I’m right. Junhyung is dead. But he loved you. Always. Until his last breath. If he could see you like that, so weak and vulnerable, he would be disappointed. In himself. He would hate himself for putting you in such a state. It’s time to move on with life. Do it for him.”
Hyunjin had nothing to reply to that. The voice, which started with choosing her sentences with such a care, no longer seemed to be cautious. It spoke the words with an uncomfortable hardness and speed.
“I love him.”, whispered Hyunjin. He was no longer able to do more than that. For years he thought that the cruel lies his bullies told about him, hissing in his ear day by day, just because he was different from them, just because he was gay, were harsh. But not even one of these phrases hit him as hard as the truth he had to admit to himself.
Shivering, he got up, went to his closet and took out an oversized sweater.
“Junji’s favourite sweater.”, he mumbled into the warm fabric. He hesitantly went to his bed to drop on it.
The boy pressed his face into the garment that his late boyfriend had worn daily during his lifetime. Sweat, blood and dirt stains had immortalized in the sweater. But above all, memories were woven into the fabric.
Once again tears sprung into Hyunjin’s eyes, accompanied by a croaked “I’m not ready yet.”
#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtq+#lgbt+#pride#pride month#Stray kids#hwang hyunjin#onlyoneof#kim junhyung#junhyung#hyunjin#Stray kids hyunjin#onlyoneof junhyung#junji#onlyoneof junji#Stray kids hwang hyunjin#onlyoneof kim junhyung#gay#gay couple#one shot#Stray kids one shot#Hyunjin one shot#hwang hyunjin one shot#onlyoneof one shot#junhyung one shot#junji one shot#kim junhyung one shot#Stray Kids hyunjin one shot#Stray Kids hwang hyunjin one shot
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[26LFCB] #1: Y
[26 Letters for Chanbaek]
Letter: Y
Word[s] Chosen: Yoda
Genre: Fluff
Includes: kid chanbaek, a little bit of bullying and just pure fluff
Note: Happy Valentine's! This is a short fluff I had lying on my drafts for quite some time. I decided to post this since it matched my letter and did a bit of editing. This surely sucks, but I promise to make it up soon!
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"You have such big ears. Are you...Yoda?"
The small boy muttered innocently as he stared at the giant in front of him.
The tall one had widened his eyes in surprise, shocked at how some random midget at the village playground stood in front of him just to tell him that.
"I-I'm sorry!" the small kid said while panicking, taking a step back as soon as he saw the taller boy come closer to to him with intimidating eyes.
"Are you one of them?" asked the taller. He shot a glare on the little kid, trying to mask his nervousness.
"W-what? Who?" the other asked curiously, his head slightly tilting despite being a little scared of the tall boy.
The giant looked away, but never dared to move a little. Well you see, Park Chanyeol is a kid from a wealthy household. But then, that did not exempt him from the awful bullies who kept teasing him about his ears.
He honestly learned to love them, since his parents and sister always told him that it is one of his assets, something that made him unique. Besides, he is too good looking and it never was a flaw in his appearance. It's just that some kids really liked to tease him. And of course, Chanyeol can't help but be hurt while other kids pointed fingers while laughing at him.
And right now, Chanyeol thought that this little midget came to laugh about his ears. Chanyeol can clearly knock this kid if he wanted, but he won't. He may look like an arrogant and scary kid, but he'd never hurt anyone physically. That's what his parents told him all the time.
"What? Are you gonna laugh at me? Are you gonna tease me?" Chanyeol asked as he sat on the bench, crossing his arms while his forehead formed a knot.
"H-huh? No! No! I just wanna...touch them" the smaller's face turned beet red while he looked at his own white sneakers to avoid being seen in an embarrassed state.
Chanyeol raised his eyebrow. The smaller actually said something but it was too soft that he wasn't able to hear it.
"What?"
"N-nothing." the small kid muttered.
He honestly wanted to run away as fast as he can, but he didn't. He can't. It seemed like he was frozen on the ground. His feet did not move even if his mind wanted to. He can't even raise his face and take his eyes away from his shoes.
"Tell me." Chanyeol insisted.
The smaller one shook his head aggressively. It was too hard that he got dizzy and lost his balance as he almost fell in to the ground.
He shut his eyes tightly, waiting for the painful sensation to take over his body. He waited for a few seconds but then he felt nothing...except for a strong arm wrapped around his body.
"What did you do? Are you hurt?" Chanyeol asked, his eyes full of concern.
The kid opened his eyes and blinked for a few times before stepping away from the taller's arms.
He shook his head once more, causing him to feel dizzy and almost lose his balance again.
"Hey! Stop shaking your head midget!" Chanyeol said which made the smaller flinch.
"M-midget? I'm not a midget!!!" the smaller one yelled, his face turning hot with anger and embarrassment.
"Whatever, midget." Chanyeol said, taking a seat once again.
He almost laughed when the smaller kid marched towards him while glaring at him furiously.
"Don't call me that!" he yelled.
"What do you want me to call you? Dwarf?"
"No! Call my name, okay!"
"I do not know your name. So I'll just call you midget."
"BYUN BAEKHYUN!" the smaller shouted, annoyed.
Baekhyun glared at Chanyeol while his face turned hot. But then Chanyeol let out a little smile as soon as he heard the other's name.
"Okay, Baekhyun. But you're still a midget."
"Whatever Yoda!"
Chanyeol then frowned, unhappy with the fact that maybe Baekhyun doesn't want to be his friend. That maybe Baekhyun just came to tease him, that maybe he had no hopes of having a friend. Ever.
Chanyeol looked away and stood up with his face painted with disappointment and sadness. He started to walk towards an empty tunnel in the playground but he had to stop when Baekhyun called his him.
"YODA!"
Chanyeol stopped on his tracks but did not look back. To his surprise, Baekhyun ran in front of him and handed his handkerchief.
"Y-you dropped this...And sorry for calling you Yoda. It's just that I don't know your name." Baekhyun said, almost turning the last sentence as a whisper.
Chanyeol's eyes turned to Baekhyun. There, he realized that he, himself was also like the kids who teased him and called him names to Baekhyun earlier. But then he didn't really mean to make Baekhyun feel bad though. He's just...cute.
He got his handkerchief before offering the smaller a handshake.
"Chanyeol. I'm Park Chanyeol."
Baekhyun's nervousness faded away and reached for the taller's hands, his eyes turning into crescents as he smiled widely.
"C-can I touch you ears? They're...cute." Baekhyun asked, shyly smiling at the taller.
Chanyeol can't believe what Baekhyun said, it was the first time somebody besides his family told him that his ears were cute.
"H-huh?"
Baekhyun shook his head while his eyes widened
"N-no! It's n-nothing. I'm sorry..."
Baekhyun chewed on his lower lip out of embarrassment when he felt a huge hand reach for his own. That's when he realized Chanyeol was now bending so he could reach his level while he grabbed Baekhyun's hand and placed it into his ears.
Baekhyun blinked repeatedly before giggling. He really found Chanyeol's "yoda" ears adorable.
"Are you my friend now?" Chanyeol asked with hopeful eyes.
Looking into Chanyeol's eyes, Baekhyun nodded as he showed off his widest smile.
"Of course! I promise I'll be your friend forever!"
The two were widely smiling at each other on the playground, happiness filling their bodies with the friendship they just formed
---
A clapped was heard all over the large room along with cute giggles from the twins, Seoeon and Seojeon.
"And that was how me and your Chanyeol samcheon met." Baekhyun said as he smiled while caressing Seoeon's hair
He looked at Chanyeol who was holding Seojeon dearly. They smiled at each other for a bit before Seoeon spoke.
"But Baekhyun samcheon, I think you're still a midget until now though..." he asked innocently.
Chanyeol immediately burst into laughters which was later on followed by the twins. Baekhyun just pouted while looking at the kid.
"Seoeon-ah! Give Chanyeol samcheon a high five!" Chanyeol said as he raises his right arm for a high five.
Seoeon giggled as he reached for the taller's arm, while Baekhyun maintained his frown.
"Seoeon-ah. I'm not that short though. It's just that your Chanyeol samcheon is very tall. Like a giant yoda." he said, obviously teasing the other.
"Kids, Baekhyun samcheon didn't grow tall because he didn't drink his milk when he was younger. That's why..." Chanyeol let go of Seojeon for a while to reach the glasses of milk on the table.
"Here you go! Drink up!" he said enthusiastically, which made the twins stand up as they excitedly grabbed the glasses and gulp it down.
Baekhyun's pout was replaced by a chuckle with the smooth timing of Chanyeol's action. He really made the twins drink it willingly when a few minutes ago, they didn't actually want to.
"Mr. Baekhyun and Chanyeol Pa--wow. You kids are drinking your milk happily for the first time!" Ha Myung, the lady who acts as the head of the orphanage said as he chuckled.
Seoeon and Seojeon nodded as they smiled.
"It's because Chanyeol samcheon said we need to drink this so we'll get tall." Seojeon said which Seoeon seconded with a nod.
Ha Myung just smiled, already feeling how Chanyeol and Baekhyun will be good parents.
"Well then you better stop calling them samcheon now, kids." she said, which made the kids alarmed.
"WHY?!" both of them whined at the same time.
"Because...your Baekhyun samcheon and Chanyeol samcheon will now be your Daddy! Mr. Baekhyun and Chanyeol Park, your adoption request had been granted. Congratulations!"
While the twins clapped and jumped in joy, Chanyeol turned to his midget's direction and pulled him into a tight embrace.
"Finally..." Baekhyun muttered, a smile plastered all over his face.
"Finally. I love you, midget." Chanyeol replied, placing a small peck on Baekhyun's head.
"I love you too, yoda." Baekhyun replied as he chuckled.
"WE LOVE YOU MORE, DADDIES!" the twins exclaimed in chorus as they joined the tight embrace shared by their new parents which earned a chuckle from the two as they wrap their arms lovingly at their kids.
-fin
#exo#exo fluff#chanyeol#park chanyeol#exo chanyeol#baekhyun#byun baekhyun#exo baekhyun#chanbaek#baekyeol#chanbaek fluff#chanbaek stories#baekyeol fluff#baekyeol stories#exo stories#fluff#exo chanbaek#chanbaek short stories#baekyeol short stories#valentines#happy valentines!#fieryeol-10010#exol
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drawerfic #3: Amuse-Bouche
I wrote the first scene of this over the winter and got stuck, then took a stab at finishing it a couple months ago. I still didn’t really have anywhere to go after that first scene. Food? Food is a theme. 2.7k, nothing explicit. Thanks to @sparcck for the title, by far the best part.
Sid kind of stopped giving a fuck after the second Cup win, and he turned thirty right after the third and decided his capacity for caring about anything other than hockey was officially nil.
It was a great feeling.
He fucked a bunch of guys that summer, pretty indiscreetly, and the rest of the time he trained, played golf with Nate, and received a series of inscrutable text messages from Geno.
“What does ‘you’re a snack’ mean,” he asked Nate.
Nate choked on his organic quinoa salad. “What the fuck? Who said that to you?”
“Geno,” Sid said. He scrolled down. “Then he said I’m a whole ass meal. There’s no punctuation in there, so I’m not sure if he means whole-ass or ass-meal.”
“Uhh,” Nate said. His eyebrows were climbing up his forehead. “Malkin’s texting this to you?”
“Yeah,” Sid said. “Why?”
“Who told him that?” Nate demanded. “How the fuck does he know that?”
“One of Gonch’s daughters, probably,” Sid said. “Does it mean something?”
“I’m staying out of this,” Nate said. “You can Google.”
Sid Googled. According to Urban Dictionary, Geno was hitting on him.
Well. Okay.
Sid had never turned over that rock because of all the many, many reasons it was a terrible idea to do anything with Geno that wasn’t directly proximate to hockey, but his summer of not giving a fuck apparently extended even to teammates. Geno was hot, he had been Sid’s work spouse forever, and what had been unthinkable when Sid was twenty or twenty-one seemed like the natural end result now. What was the worst that could happen? All of the dire scenarios he had lovingly envisioned crumbled apart like a really good croissant, the kind made with so much butter you could almost see the shine on it.
He texted Geno a peach emoji, largely to see what would happen.
Geno replied two days later, when Sid was lying on his couch debating the equally appealing options of jacking off or fishing.
U valid))
Urban Dictionary didn’t help him out too much that time, and anyway Sid was sort of losing patience with Geno’s weird Russian mating rituals. When are you back in Pitt?
9 Sept, Geno replied.
That wasn’t too far off. Okay. We’ll talk when you’re back
??)))
Get in Geno’s pants, Sid entered into his calendar.
He considered that gauntlet pretty well thrown, and he didn’t worry when a couple of days passed after the 9th of September came and went. Geno was probably sleeping off his jet lag. But when he saw Geno at the golf tournament he expected a few meaningful looks, or maybe even a subtle pat to his ass when no one was looking, and instead he got the same Geno as always, flirting with no real intent behind it. He fondled Sid’s golf club, knocked his head against the brim of Sid’s cap, and wandered off to talk to Horny.
Maybe Geno had downgraded him from a snack to—what was smaller than a snack?
He tried again when the golf part was over. Geno was holding a plate of finger foods, strawberries pierced with toothpicks and little sandwiches with the crusts cut off. Sid hadn’t even realized there were hors d’oeuvres available. Geno loved free food and would pile his plate high even when he wasn’t hungry.
“You busy later?” Sid asked, real smooth.
Geno squinted at him. His mouth was full of mini quiche. “Busy?”
“You could come over,” Sid said.
“Uhh,” Geno said. “For what?”
Sid considered the possibility that Geno didn’t know what he had been texting to Sid all summer. On the one hand, Geno seemed very likely to call Sid a slut. On the other hand, Natalie Gonchar was growing up sneaky, and Geno’s grasp of English slang was limited to what he heard in the locker room. If Sid had to go on Urban Dictionary for it, Geno probably didn’t know it, either.
“Never mind,” Sid said, and Geno shrugged and speared another quiche.
No big deal. He would just have to be a little less discreet.
The trouble with Geno was that Sid liked him. He showed up and worked hard, didn’t leave tape on the dressing room floor, and had made it blindingly evident over the years that he would back Sid up without question. He didn’t even make Sid pay any fines that he himself hadn’t administered. Loyalty was one of Sid’s favorite traits in a person. Geno was also funny, much smarter than he pretended to be, and he looked fantastic in a suit.
In other words, he was essentially perfect.
Sid was good at keeping his eyes to himself in the locker room, just as a basic survival technique, but he let himself start looking at Geno now. Geno mostly seemed confused at first, which supported Sid’s hypothesis about Natalie, and then surprised, and then, after a few days, shyly pleased. Geno had largely outgrown his shyness when he learned English, and seeing him turn pink and duck his head made Sid feel like they were kids again, only this time Sid was going to get what he wanted.
Geno’s pleased blushing was Sid’s green light. He upped the ante from some discreet locker room ogling to blatant staring in the showers, complete with careful tactical positioning. Geno always hit the showers before Sid did, out of his gear and into the change room while Sid was still suffering through a useless post-practice press scrum, which made it easy for Sid to situate himself at the next shower head over and drag his eyes along the entire soaped-up length of Geno’s body.
“Nice work today,” he said, staring at the frankly jaw-dropping curve of Geno’s ass. Hockey was full of good asses, and Sid considered himself something of a connoisseur, but Geno’s was remarkable even in the crowded field of the NHL.
Geno didn’t respond. Sid reluctantly tore his eyes away from Geno’s ass. Geno was flushed all the way down to his nipples. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and met Sid’s gaze.
“You wanna come over?” Sid asked.
“I’m busy,” Geno said, which was a blatant lie. He was probably just going home to watch people play video games on YouTube.
So he wanted to play hard to get: that was fine. Sid could be patient.
He tried again a couple of days later. Jen had bullied Geno into talking to the press for once, and he was still undressing when Sid made it into the change room after his own scrum, standing at his stall and working his shorts down over his ass.
Sid stopped and watched, being as obvious about it as he could. Geno ignored him, but his ears turned red, which was a good sign.
“You looked great out there,” Sid said.
Geno stepped out of his shorts and straightened and turned to face Sid, his eyebrows raised challengingly. “Out there, or in here?”
“Both,” Sid said. He took a step closer, encouraged.
“Hmm,” Geno said. He moved in, looming suddenly the way he could, naked except for his shower slides, coming in hot and backing Sid up against the door, his hands braced on either side of Sid’s head.
This wasn’t really how Sid had imagined this going, but he wasn’t opposed. He set a cautious hand on Geno’s hip that became less cautious when Geno stared down at him and didn’t pull away. Sid could smell him, sweaty after skating, and the scent of it made his mouth water.
“You watch me,” Geno said.
Sid put his other hand on Geno’s other hip and tugged him in. “You don’t like it?”
Geno breathed in and out. His mouth was inches away from Sid’s, and Sid realized his heart was pounding, like he was nervous or something. Geno’s dark eyes dropped to Sid’s mouth and slid away, and darted back up to Sid’s eyes. “Sid,” he said quietly.
“Yeah,” Sid said. “I think you like it.”
Geno didn’t reply. He ducked his head to nose at Sid’s ear and then hovered there, breathing, probably waiting to see how Sid would react.
Sid felt like his whole body was made out of fire. He tilted his head to the side encouragingly, giving Geno more room to work. Geno rubbed his nose against the sensitive skin behind Sid’s ear, and then replaced his nose with his mouth, layering a few soft toe-curling kisses along the line of Sid’s throat.
Geno sucked lightly, and Sid was about to grab him for real and take full advantage of the empty change room when Geno pulled away and stepped back.
“Need to shower,” Geno said, a little bit sheepish, running a hand over his head.
“Seriously?” Sid said, pulse throbbing in his temples and his groin. “You’re just gonna—”
Geno grinned, showing roughly three quarters of his teeth. “Bye, Sid,” he said, and shuffled off toward the showers.
“Oh my God,” Sid said to the empty room. Geno was a tease.
He held a cookout a few days later, before the season started. It was a good excuse to have Geno over; he couldn’t wriggle out of anything Sid pitched as team bonding. He had the A. He had to at least show up and eat a burger.
He showed up wearing those dumb camo jorts that Sid liked way more than he wanted to, and a Penguins cap jammed backwards on his head. Sid watched him take a lap around the back yard, filching crudités off everyone’s plates and saying something to Phil that made Phil’s voice rise in an outraged yelp. Business as usual.
Sid was manning the grill and wouldn’t abandon it even to pull some smooth moves on Geno. But he didn’t have to: Geno drifted closer, eating and yapping, and Sid caught his gaze and tilted his head in a come-here gesture, knowing that Geno would probably contrarily ignore him. Like a cat, he never wanted to come on command.
This time he did, although he took a long circuitous route to prove that he was only coming over because he wanted to and not because Sid had summoned him. He sidled in next to Sid at the grill and took the tongs from Sid’s hand and clicked them together a few times, grinning. “You need help?”
“I’ve got it under control,” Sid said, helping himself to a long look at the way Geno’s well-worn shirt clung to his shoulders and chest. He took his summer training way more seriously now than he had when he was younger, and it showed.
“Good, feed me,” Geno said, and relinquished the tongs.
Sid rolled his eyes. “Burger or hot dog?”
“Mm, hot dog,” Geno said, and stood right there to eat so that Sid was forced to watch as Geno expertly fellated the hot dog, bun and all.
“Taste good,” Geno said, after he had eaten the last bite, and flashed Sid a shit-eating grin and wandered off.
The party wound down as night fell. Sid took all of his grilling shit into the kitchen and found Geno in there scraping the last of the guacamole out of the dish with his finger.
“You’re disgusting,” Sid said, more amused than actually disgusted.
Geno sucked his finger into his mouth. He didn’t even have the grace to look embarrassed. “I don’t waste.”
“Well, help me clean up,” Sid said, which was Geno’s cue to invent some excuse about how he’d left the oven on at home. Sid had attended a lot of parties with Geno over the years, and he’d never once seen Geno do any cleaning up.
But Geno stayed. He helped Sid load the dishwasher and put leftovers away, standing too close, smiling a lot, brushing his fingers against Sid’s way more than he actually needed to.
Sid wasn’t made out of stone. There was only so much he could take. Geno was a flirt, he had been flirting with Sid for years without meaning anything by it, but he had sucked on Sid’s throat at the rink four days ago, and there was only one way to interpret that.
“Geno,” he said, and Geno looked over, a serving bowl in his hands. Sid got a generous fistful of Geno’s shirt and tugged him down, and slid his lips over the patchy stubble along Geno’s jaw. “Hey, G.”
Geno set the bowl on the counter and turned to face Sid. He cupped Sid’s face in his hands. He didn’t look like he was fucking around or teasing.
“You’re a whole meal,” Sid said. “You’re a buffet.”
“Sid, you talk too much,” Geno said, and lowered his head for a kiss.
Sid had three Cups, and he had largely stopped caring what other people thought. He wanted to play good hockey, and he wanted to fuck Geno, and maybe do a lot of other things with Geno, like everything, the whole enchilada, as Phil liked to say.
“Come over later,” he said to Geno before their first game of the season, and Geno smiled at him, somehow both cocky and shy. They lost that game, but Sid texted Geno from the parking deck before he drove home: Come over
Geno came over, and they had sex for the second time, their hands on each other, kissing and kissing until Geno came with a groan and Sid pushed him over onto his back and rubbed off on him. Geno wrapped his arms around Sid’s neck and his legs around Sid’s hips and it had never been like this with anyone else, he had never felt the way he did when he was with Geno.
“How was that?” Sid asked after, when they had cleaned up a little and were lying tangled together, Sid’s head on Geno’s shoulder.
“Eh,” Geno said, and wobbled his hand from side to side.
Sid hid his smile against Geno’s neck. “You’re an asshole.”
“I don’t pump your tires,” Geno said. “You get Sully for that, he loves you, think you best player—”
“Please don’t ever talk about Sully when we’re in bed,” Sid said.
Geno laughed softly and ran his hands over Sid’s back. “Okay. I promise.”
Sid started to drift off, warm and close in the dark of his bedroom, but then he remembered the question he’d been wanting to ask Geno for weeks. He turned his head to kiss the cap of Geno’s shoulder. “You still awake?”
“Mm,” Geno said. “Little bit.”
“Why did you text me that stuff this summer?” Sid asked. “You know. That shit about me being a snack.”
“Gonch’s daughter tell me,” Geno said. “You know. Natalie.”
“Yeah, I figured that much,” Sid said. “But why?”
Geno groaned. “Sid, it’s late—”
“No way,” Sid said. Geno trying to wriggle out of talking about it was a sure sign that he was embarrassed, which was a sure sign that Sid was about to uncover the delicious mortifying truth. He pushed up onto one elbow and looked down at Geno’s face, almost totally invisible with the curtains drawn. “Tell me.”
Geno’s exasperated sigh made Sid grin. “She think I have—you know, crush. So she tell me what to text you.”
Sid’s grin widened. “A crush.”
“Okay, I’m tired, let’s sleep now,” Geno said, and reached up blindly in the dark to drag Sid’s head back down to his shoulder.
Sid woke up first in the morning and went downstairs to make breakfast: turkey sausage, frozen blackberries that he thawed in the microwave, and pancakes, which Geno liked to slather with jam and fold in half like a taco. Geno had been curled on his side, drawn up into a surprisingly small huddle, and Sid had paused at the side of the bed to very gently kiss his temple and the curve of his cheekbone, feeling his heart melt like a pat of butter on a slice of hot bread. Geno deserved a good breakfast, and then maybe a blowjob before they had to leave for the rink.
He was plating the final pancake when Geno came into the kitchen, wearing a pair of Sid’s basketball shorts and nothing else, scratching at his belly. “Smell good,” Geno said, and came over to drop a kiss on Sid’s bare shoulder.
“The food’s ready,” Sid said. He turned his head to look up at Geno’s face. “And I made coffee, if you want some.”
“Good,” Geno said. His smile made Sid feel like he had hung the moon in the sky for Geno’s approval. “Let’s eat together.”
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Cold Hearted Girl Blues
The “Cold Hearted Girl Blues” Anthology, & associated story ideas.
Just to be safe, TRIGGER WARNING for Disturbing Content and unhealthy attitudes that are in no way representative of reality.
Depiction =/= endorsement.
(Final order may vary)
Part A: Avoidant Attachment Style
Indifferent Girl Playlist - “The expression ‘I don’t feel so well’ makes no gramatical sense. It should be ‘I don’t feel so good’, unless you mean to imply that your ability to feel is hampered.”
Cold Hearted Girl Blues - “One Day she won’t love you either.”
Barren Heart - “The hypocricy of writing about things you know nothing about.”
There Was Nothing In Gauf’s Room - “It’s not her fault, either. What you get is what you see. ”
Failure to Manifest - “Sometimes, this situation has her feeling like she doesn’t exist.”
Cold Hearted Girl Gothic - “Just this single, isolated Conciousness.”
LEERE IST EIN PRIVILEG - “#Introvert Pride.”
Dweeb Life - “Ah, the obscure Joys of bein a shut-in”
Heroin Chick - “Involving no actual heroin.”
You're in a laundry room - “There has been a bit of a failure to connect with this world.”
Biology / inertia - “Even her happiest relationship didn’t go over without being compared to a robot at least once. Balancing extreme introversion with a live-in boyfriend.”
Diffusion - “She has no idea what she looks like. It always surprisesher what people say about her.”
Cold Blooded - “It’s a style of communication, apparently.”
Crazy Headphones Girl - “What could he possibly see in her?”
Cold Hearted Girl Erotica - “Her Kink is compartementalization, but she also dabbles in questionanble sex on drugs threesomes with a hooker.”
Cold Hearted Girl Tumblr - “Preempting the Discourse(TM). I was done with the 2010s when they were a new thing.”
Cold Hearted Girl Musings - “She tries to avoid the common pitfalls, at least in theory.”
Cold Hearted Girl Adventures - “She realizes that she’s the sort of person who breaks people’s heart; She’s like this asshole boyfriend from all these lovesongs.”
Cold Hearted Girl's Lament - “She’s usually the one who has to take it upon herself to be be the rational one and tell you ‘No’.”
Cold Hearted Girl Challenges - “Even the Best of her relationships involved her being compared to a robot at least once.”
Life is Gross - “Including the bits of it that are commonly accepted to be loveable and cute.”
Indifference II: Emotionally unavailable morally ambiguous chick - “There are character flaws, ppl. Being an asshole is generally a bad thing.”
Cyborgery I (the becomming) - “Even when she’s right with you,she’s so far away”
The Minimalist's Wet Dream - “She leads her life with a bare minimum of human contact.”
Alphabet Girl - “It would be one thing if you were competing with the universe, but it’s really her ingrown, self-absorbed world you’re playing second fiddle to.”
Peel - “You thought you could find a normal person underneath, didn’t you?”
Part B: Maladaptive Daydreaming
Endzeitromantik - “No one wants to admit these days that they ever liked NuMetal but she sees no reason to do the same.”
Unapologetic - “She’s not romanticising what she thinks you think she’s romanticising. Or so she thinks.”
Luciferosis - “She’s in love with the Devil and is planning to leave in order to be with him. Of course, she will be missed, but of course, she doesn’t care about it. She’s the sort of asshole who’d fall in love with the Devil.”
Opheliac - “There are multiple ways to be in love with the void. The most relevant ones are not featured in this piece.”
Lone Diggin' - “Going to restaurants on her own.”
The Girl In The Tower - “To preserve something valuable in safe, protected garden... that is not what you did.”
Bizarro Self - “She’s put some thought into this, actually.”
Dreamer Things - “That’s what she calls them, anyway. ‘Dreamer’ may be an euphemism here.”
Make Me Wanna Die - “She just wants to be special, probably because she has no idea what real suffering is. Words mean things, you know?”
Favorite Love Songs - “Though her real life is barren and deprived, she has a rich inner life. Well, then again, how ‘rich’ can an ‘inner life’ be that only ruminates tiny indirect tidbits of information?”
There Is A Little Harley Quinn In All Of Us - “Unpacking the Whole Badboy Complex. It’s not what you think it is.”
Strange Little Girl - “You really should be going.”
Abstract Dreams - “She doesn’t think they mean anything but she’s willing to indulge the thoughts.”
Joy, Joy, Joy, the Melancholia Rolercoaster. - “She likes to think she has feelings.”
Immortelle - “Involving no Actual Immortals.”
I Feel Personally Victimized By Those 19th Century Romanticists - “Even I am not sure what she’s trying to rove here.”
My Fantasy - “Her kink is apparently freezing to death.”
Cyborgery II - “She envies people whose calloused hands show their dedication to their passion.”
Reality Death - “Silly Rabbit, of course the world keeps turning when you’re not there to observe it anymore.”
Dandelion - “The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all. But sometimes it’s better to be the Dandelion, which can take root anywhere and everywhere.”
Plunge - “If there’s some A grade deaster going on, she obviously won’t miss out on watching.”
Fairytale Ending - “My favorites were Sleeping Beauty and ‘The Salt Princess’. Go on and psychoanalyze me.”
Recontextualizing - “She has different words for it now.”
Peeping Tommie - “It’s at it’s purest where it belongs the least. Or perhaps she just grew the fuck up.”
Paper Flowers - “She’d like to think they mean something.”
Part C: Exercises in Counterdependency
The Butthurt Electra Playlist - “She’s got enough self-awareness to call it that, but not enough to realize it was a bad idea.”
She Will Have her Revenge - “She’ll come back as Fire/ To Burn All the Liars/ Leave a Blanket of Ash on the Ground.”
Hate Poems - “Or: Giving yourself Headaches over people who aren’t worth it”
Pavlov redux - “If you can’t understand like a human, you have to be beaten like a dog” - “Actually, Daddy Dearest, you’re not supposed to beat dogs, either.”
Im Real Good At Hating - “Honestly! I’ve got to have some talent somewhere. ”
Fuck You Specifically- “Her Lips: Fuck You. Her Hair: Fuck You. Her Clothes: Fuck You. Her crippling self-motivation issues: Fuck You.”
My whole existence for your amusement - “And that is why I’m here with you.”
Sick & Tired - “Yes I know what you think of me, you never shut up.”
Been A Son - “Why does she spend so much time searching for some kind of reason for what you did? Even if there was, it wouldn’t justify your actions.”
Make a list - “It’s supposed to be a therapeutic excercise.”
choice - “It’s the Morton’s Fork of emotions.”
gross girl - “FAART. FAART. She picks her note and eats it. ”
BratFactory - “She outright heard her mother say that she has no value to that man except as a mother to make children.”
AntiStar - “Back in the day, I became obsessed with the thought of a lightless Luminary, an existence that is the very opposite of light.”
Adaptation - “It’s amazing how much a human can twist themselves into a pretzel. It was a matter of survival at the time, you see.”
Emotional Abuse Checklist - “BINGO!”
Remember That We Suffered - “You have no idea what pain is.”
Cyborgery III: We can Rebuild Her - “Perhaps these vagrant years were simply the means to piece herself back together.”
Idetifikation mit dem Aggressor - “Apparently she looks just like him.”
Es Kocht Die Eifersucht - “A parent is supposed to protect a child from the bad experiences of their youth, not inflict some creepy reenactment of them upon you.”
Curmudgeon (Long Way Home) - “She’s that thing you go to when you want to have a cheap laugh.”
Visibility - “Your Father Loves you! why can’t you see that?”
Touchy - “You bet she is.”
Light - “She thinks she used to be Light once, but she can’t be sure.”
If I Die, I can be replaced - “I will leave you all behind, move to spain and adopt some children who actually deserve my time and money. Perhaps they will finally appreciate me, unlike you ungrateful wretches.”
My One Mistake Was That I Couldn't Let You Down - “Turns out she wasn’t quite Cold Hearted enough.”
PART D: USELESS, USELESS, USELESS CHILD
Fuckyeahmedicalgrossness - “In my humble opinion, the human brain is way too squishy.”
Something in The Way - “You can always find something.”
Unbirth - “Barely Functioning Lump of Human Flesh. Except no, that’s unfair to the people with real problems. I suppose ‘asshole’ will do.”
Donald Duck Volcano - “I’m not gonna sugarcoat her this time.”
My Wretched Soul Desires Violence - “It’s not pretty, but it’s true. It shouldn’t be but it is.”
Verbal Disclaimer - “I’m not claiming I’m perfect either.”
Useless Child - “How was she supposed to learn if you never let her do anything?”
Madwoman in the Attic - “And they always knew she would be the family spinster.”
Unfair Existence - “At the risk of sounding like a millionaire campaigning for a tax on poverty.”
The Mutant - “Way to make that 9 year old feel like a freak of nature... in the end it’s probably a kind of arrogance.”
Green Grunge - “It’s her jam, except not really. She sure can’t claim to be an expert.”
In Defense Of That Legendary Divorce - “The whole concept of ‘stay for the children’ is utter bullsh*t”
My Fantasy II - “I’m gonna kill all yo fuckers. That’s what quiet people who keep to themselves are supposed to do, right?”
Cyborgery IV – Plastic Death - “My Fetish: All the weak parts of the real me, cut away and dumped in a bucket of medical waste.”
Schreckschraube - “It occurs to her that she’s terribly gross to them.”
Nemo, or as my father lovingly calls me, "Chiquilla de Mierda" - “It’s Spanish for ‘Shit Brat’.”
Hasmereir - “Some of the cruelty is lost in translation, but it basically means ‘Make-Me-Laugh-Thing.’”
You Stink - “Bullies aren’t known for being very creative people.”
Sweet Sweet Reality - “She’s not completely out of touch with it.”
Is there More To Lose Than Gain - “Apparently yes, but she’s not sure how to get it anyways.”
Alraune - “Always with the legends and the soulless children. I think she has a type.”
Confession - “I plead guilty. Mostly to existing.”
Way Too Old For This And F****ing Bored Of It - “Even she is sick of all her emo bullsh*t.”
EPILOGUE: WHATS THE USE OF FEELING BLUE? - The next step, apparently, is crying.
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