#(okay to reblog/respond to just that's the tag I use for shit about me)

[taibhsearachd]

So when I was between freshman and sophomore year of high school, I went to a college in Ohio to get some college credit for a class (....which now that I think about it I have no idea how to apply to my college transcript, I'm missing a whole-ass credit on my transcript....... anyway).

This was the first time I was away from home and mostly unsupervised. Like. I was so anxious that over the weekends, when everyone else in the dorm I was staying in went home... I just didn't leave and only ate the cookies and random snacks my parents sent with me, and then on Monday I passed out in the lunch room (BEFORE GETTING MY LUNCH) because I hadn't been eating. Probably should have been a red flag for my parents at the time, but they just kind of waved it off, I was fine, I just passed out.

ANYWAY. The point of this post is, every single day through the weekdays (I was there for... three or four weeks, I can't remember). Every SINGLE morning. There was a jukebox in the dining hall. And every single fucking day. Someone - and we NEVER figured out who it was, we watched that jukebox like a hawk for a while, and somehow they always put it in without us seeing - always put in "I Would Do Anything for Love" by Meatloaf.

The full version of the song is 12 minutes long, and that's what it was. By the third day we were out for blood. It still haunts me that we couldn't draw and quarter the person responsible.

I know you're out there. I know you're around my age, whoever did that. If I ever discover your identity, swear to god, it's on sight, you absolute monster.

[kwanisms]

Kinktober 「10:23」 — k.yeosang

» ateez menu | yeosang menu | kinktober masterlist «

➮ reaper!Yeosang × fem!Reader wc: 2.3k summary: When an aneurysm in her brain ruptures, killing Y/N, she is faced with a reaper who has come to collect her soul but she might have just discovered a way to cheat death. genres/themes/au: mild angst, smut; supernatural, horror, thriller; non idol au, monster idol au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, supernatural and horror themes, major character death mentions of: death, afterlife, slight religious panic; sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut! taglist has been moved to reblogs join my taglists! kinktober taglist is CLOSED! Strikethrough means I cannot tag you.  MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. AGELESS BLOGS WILL ALSO BE BLOCKED.

a/n: i don’t have much to say about this lol Yeosang is hot, him as a reaper is a concept. Id’ fuck him if it meant I could escape my fate lmao. Thank you for reading! If you liked it, please consider reblogging or supporting my writing through my ko-fi, linked on my pinned post! As always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. 

smut warnings: teratophilia (aka monsterfucking), corruption kink (f receiving), cock worship (m receiving), dom!Yeosang, sub!Reader, unprotected sex (don’t. do. this), oral (m receiving), handjob (m receiving), use of pet names (babe, sweetheart, etc.), and that should be all but as always, let me know if I missed some! kinks: Corruption kink + cock worship dialogue prompt: ❛❛ Have you never been touched like this before? ❜❜

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No one is ever ready for death. No matter how prepared one thinks they are, it still catches everyone off guard. But while you can prepare for the death of a loved one or a pet, no one really tells you how to prepare with your own demise.

You were now faced with this as you stared at your corpse, collapsed and crumpled on the floor of your living room. You didn’t even know what happened. One minute you were sitting there watching television and then you got up and then it all went black and you came to like this, standing there, staring at your body.

“What the fuck, man?” 

You walked over, kneeling beside your body and reached out to touch it.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” a voice said from behind you, causing you to jump and turn quickly to see a man standing behind you. He wore a plain black suit, a gray waistcoat over a white button up shirt and a black tie. He had light colored blondish hair with bangs swept back to show his forehead. His eyes were a piercing gray color and he wore a stoic expression.

“Wh-who are you?” you asked, your voice soft as you stared at him. You watched as he tilted his head, giving you a quizzical stare. “I’m Yeosang,” he said simply. “Okay, Yeosang,” you said as you slowly stood up straight. “What are you doing in my apartment?” Yeosang narrowed his steely eyes before responding. “You’re dead,” he stated.

Rolling your eyes you scoffed. “Well, no shit, Sherlock,” you snapped. “What does my being dead have to do with you being here?” Yeosang stuck his hands in his pockets as he stared back at you. “Because it’s my job,” he answered. ‘Job?’ you wondered to yourself. ‘What job?’

“What do you mean by job?” you asked, voicing the question that plagued your thoughts. Yeosang stared at you silently for a moment before he finally spoke. “My job is to escort the dead to the afterlife,” he explained. “You’ve passed and now it’s time to ferry your soul to the afterlife.”

“I’m a reaper.”

Your eyes widened as he spoke. He took a few steps forward, putting him only a couple paces away, he removed his hands from his pockets, holding one of them out, palm facing up. You watched as a dark ball of mist appeared, starting to swirl slowly. It gained momentum, swirling faster and faster, the center becoming more and more dense. A small bolt of electricity crackled and just like that a scythe appeared. He caught it with one hand, grabbing the lower part of the handle with the other and held it firmly.

“Whoa,” you said, eyeing the sharp, pointed end of the curved blade. “That’s a pretty big sickle you got there. What’re you gonna do with it?” you said softly as he approached you. “It’s a scythe,” he corrected you. “And I’m going to kill you.” 

You stared at him, holding his gaze for a moment. “Buddy,” you started, glancing down at the scythe. “I hate to break it to you, but I’m already dead.” Yeosang glanced down at the body on the floor and back to your soul. “I know that,” he said, sounding equal parts confused. “Then what do you mean kill me?” Yeosang stood back up, moving the scythe to rest the bottom of the staff on the floor.

“When you die,” he said, gesturing at your body lying on the floor. “You get assigned a reaper,” he continued. “And that reaper comes to take your soul to pass on. Most of the time, souls have unfinished business, this is how you get ghosts.”

You stared blankly at him as explained. “You have no unfinished business,” he added. “You are completely ready to pass on.” Your brows furrowed. “No the fuck I’m not,” you retorted. “I didn’t even want to die. I simply got up from the couch. How the hell did that kill me?” you asked incredulously as you gestured at your body.

Yeosang walked over, passing you to slowly kneel down, inspecting your corpse. “Aneurysm,” he said softly. He looked up at you. “A blood vessel in your brain ruptured. It’s usually preventable,” he continued as he got up. “But if it ruptures, only immediate medical treatment can save you,” he added, walking towards you, placing a hand on your shoulder. “You’ve been dead for too long.”

You looked down at his hand on your shoulder, surprised you could even feel anything. “You’re touching me,” you whispered. He glanced at his hand and then pulled it away. “My apologies,” he said. “It was meant to be reassuring.” He started to walk back to the spot he’d been standing before but you grabbed his hand, catching him off guard. “How am I touching you?” you asked, looking up from his hand to his eyes.

“Because we’re the same,” he answered, sounding surprised. “We’re both specters.” You glanced back at your body. “Is there no chance of pleading for my life with you?” you asked, turning back to look at him. “Well,” he started, pulling his hand from your grasp and running his fingers through his hair.

“Yes,” he replied. “Technically you could be returned to life,” he added. “Even with the ruptured aneurysm?” you asked. Yeosang shrugged. “By restoring life to you, it would reverse the rupture but the aneurysm would still be there.” You glanced at your body then around your apartment. “So if I return to life, will I forget all this?” you asked, turning to look at him once more.

He shrugged. “Maybe?” he said, sounding uncertain. “I’ve never restored someone to life before,” he replied. “I just know it’s possible. But I can’t just go around reversing death and granting people more time. You have to make a bargain,” he added. “A bargain?” you asked, perking up.

“Yes,” he answered. “What kind of bargain?” Yeosang hesitated. “I uh… don’t know. I’ve never done it before. Do you have any reason why you absolutely cannot pass on?” He stared at you blankly as he waited for your answer. Did you have anything holding you back? You had no children, no pets, no one relied on you to care for them. All you knew was that you weren’t ready. Wasn’t that reason enough?

You looked back at him. “I…” you trailed off, voice breaking before clearing your throat and trying again. “I’ve barely even lived,” you started softly. “I’ve never even left the country. I’m… not ready to go.” Yeosang’s stoic expression softened at the sound of your wavering voice. He wasn’t supposed to do this. He wasn’t supposed to give second chances but there was something in your voice and he couldn’t help but feel a little bad for you.

“Alright,” he said, snapping his fingers. You jumped slightly in shock when the scythe in his hands disappeared in a black mist that quickly dissipated. “If you can convince me, I will give you a second chance at life.” The moment the words left his lips, a look of pure joy came over your face. “Oh, really?” you exclaimed. Yeosang nodded before holding up a hand. “But you have to convince me.”

“Not a problem,” you said, moving to stand in front of him.

Yeosang watched as you lowered yourself to your knees. He’d seen this act before. He was no stranger to people begging on their knees but what he hadn’t expected was for your hand to move up his thigh, palm resting over his crotch. His breath caught in his throat. “Wh-what are you doing?” he choked out as you started to palm over his cock.

“You said to convince you,” you answered with a shrug as you continued. Yeosang’s cheeks burned as he could feel himself starting to grow hard under your touch. “I didn’t mean…” he trailed off as your hand gently cupped his growing erection, squeezing slightly. His eyes fluttered shut, a soft gasp leaving his lips. “Have you never been touched like this before?” you asked suddenly.

He looked down to meet your gaze. There was a hint of amusement in the semi smirk you had on your face. Yeosang shook his head. “N-no,” he stammered. You looked up at him, your smile widening as you continued to stroke him over his pants. “Let me change that then,” you said softly, moving your hands up, fingers working to undo the clasp and zipper of his pants.

Yeosang let out a groan as your hand slipped into his pants, grasping his semi hard cock, pulling it free and starting to stroke him slowly. “I.. f-fuck,” he moaned, head falling back as you took the head of his cock into your mouth, tongue swirling around before pulling back with a slight popping sound. “Has anyone ever told you that you have a really pretty cock?” you asked, hand gliding over the shaft faster.

“N-no,” Yeosang gasped, unable to form a proper sentence. “Well, you do,” you whispered, giving the tip a slow lick. “Probably the best looking cock I’ve ever seen.” Yeosang’s cheeks burned, a tinge of pink to them as you took his cock back into your mouth. He groaned as the tip of his cock reached the back of your mouth, nearly crossing into your throat.

“Holy hell,” he gasped as you pulled back, his hips bucking forward to chase the feeling of your warm mouth. You chuckled as you pulled back, hand moving up to the head of his cock. “I still can’t believe you’ve never done this before,” you said softly, watching as he looked down at you through heavy lidded eyes. “I don’t have the —” he let out a hiss as you gave the tip of his cock a lick, grinning at his reaction.

“I don’t often get the chance to engage in — oh god!” he groaned loudly, head falling back as your mouth enveloped his cock once more. His hand moved to the back of your head, fingers slipping between locks of your hair. “D-don’t stop,” he gasped as your head bobbed faster, the wet sound of his cockhead hitting the back of your throat.

You knew he was close when you felt his cock twitch in your mouth and you quickly stopped, pulling his cock from your mouth. “As much as I’d like for you to cum in my mouth,” you started, stroking him slowly. “I think it’s only fair that you get a taste of what you’re missing,” you said softly. “What are you – yah!” Yeosang started before being tugged down to his knees. You pushed him back onto the wooden floor, quickly ridding yourself of your pants before climbing over his lap.

“On your back, sweetheart,” you said softly, pushing against his chest. He leaned back as you moved, settling over his cock. You reached down, grabbing him and lining the tip with your slit before slowly sinking down on him, letting out a moan as his cock stretched you, your cunt greedily sucking him in. Yeosang let out a guttural moan, eyes rolling to the back of his head as you settled, his cock fully inside you. “I knew it,” you said with a soft chuckle.

“Knew what?” the reaper asked, raising his head. “That your cock would feel even better inside me than it did in my hand,” you replied, leaning over to place your hands on the floor on either side of his head as you lifted your hips. His hands gripped your waist tightly as you lowered yourself back down, his cock sliding back into you, making both of you moan loudly.

“I’m going to enjoy this,” you said with a crooked grin. Yeosang looked up at you through half opened eyes, his hair starting to stick to his forehead. “I don’t care if you finish what you started,” he said, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. “I just need you to move,” he added, trying to move your hips along, a hint of impatience in his voice.

“Do that and you can consider our deal fulfilled.”

You chuckled lightly as you leaned over to press a quick kiss to his lips. “Oh come on,” you said with a smirk. “We’re only just getting started, babe.” You lifted your hips again, sinking back down and setting a steady pace, keeping your eyes on his face as his brows knitted together, his face contorting in pleasure as your walls clenched around his cock, hugging it tightly.

Each drag of his cock had you groaning as you felt the tension begin to build in your lower belly. “F-fuck,” you cursed, your thighs starting to burn. “I need a second,” you said breathlessly. Yeosang let out an impatient noise, almost a whine as he tried to buck up into you.

“My thighs burn. Just let me have a second,” you chuckled but let out a yelp as he sat up, knocking you onto your back as he grabbed your hips and started thrusting into you harshly. Each snap of your hips had you crying out as he slammed into you repeatedly. “Fuck, shit, calm down!” you gasped as you felt your orgasm approaching rapidly. “M’gonna —”

You didn’t have time to warn him as you came, your cunt convulsing around his cock and spurring his own climax. You could feel his hot cum gush out of him, coating your walls as he pumped you full. After one final thrust, he let out a moan he’d been holding back, collapsing on top of you as you both tried to regain control of your breathing.

“So… our deal is fulfilled?” you finally panted as you stared up at the ceiling of your apartment. “Yes,” Yeosang said as he lifted his head. “On one condition,” he added, his gaze meeting yours. “You let me come visit you from time to time cause that was amazing.” A smile crossed your face as you reached up, running your fingers through his hair. “Can I fuck you when I’m back in my body?” you asked curiously. He shrugged, staring down at your lips. “No idea,” he answered.

“Only one way to find out.”

©️ kwanisms 2024 | all works on this blog are protected under copyright. Do not repost, continue, or translate my works. All graphics made by me.

[geometricgiovanni]

YOU ARE NOW A PRETTY PRINCESS! ✨

This blog contains references to threats and violence. You have been warned.

(hey guys cool sexy man here to tell you first half is in-character, second half under cut is out-of-character)

HELLO! I MADE THIS ACCOUNT OUT OF SPITE OF THAT DISGUSTING THING THAT PLAGUES THIS GOD-FORSAKEN SITE!

NO, DON'T ASK ME ABOUT IT. IF YOU DO, I WILL CRUSH YOU! LETHALLY. You will feel pain. also he blocked me on all 8 of my accounts so um, y'know........

ASK ME THINGS! ASK ME TO DESCRIBE IN EXCRUCIATING DETAIL ASPECTS OF MY LIFE! ASK ME TO DO OBSCURE ACTIVIES THAT WOULD SEVER MY LIMBS IF I HAD ANY!

So here's some info in a similar format to my other blog, some things, such as boundaries, will be copied and pasted:

Blog Information✨

This is an ask/rp blog for Jeremy from regretevator, specifically the Jeremy referenced in @displ3azant. I might use this blog to more freely talk about my specific headcanons about characters from the perspective of an outsider, so that account is likely the only specific one referenced on this blog.

Jeremy in this blog uses he/any!

MAIN TAGS:

#geometric asks - Asks

#geometric posts - Non-ask related posts/reblogs

#ooc - Out-of-character post

BLOG OWNER 🔥

Hello! I am Hex! Yes, you will see me talking to myself! No, do not comment on it. Please refer to me using he/him or it/its pronouns.

My other accounts are: @hexexists - my main blog, if you receive notifications from this account, please know it is just me! @hexational - my regretevator blog @displ3azant - afformentioned Unpleasant rp blog

I'll try to respond to most asks with a drawing of some variety, and if it's something I can use to reveal little ass-shit and bull-dumps about my version of Jeremy.

Please note, however, I am not just one singular guy but also a senior who should really be spending his free time studying, so sometimes I will just give a text response.

Also to note: I am 17 years old, therefore a minor! Even if I was not a minor, I am still not comfortable with weird shit! Keep it in your fucking pants, asshole! Apologies if I sound rude, but holy shit the only blog gets SO many weird asks! I will just be blocking and ignoring any freaky anons, apologies if you are my friend trying to mess with me, but I genuinely cannot take any more risks.

Boundaries ✨

Shipping content: Shipping content is okay, but I don't care much for romance personally and so will likely not play much into it. Please don't push anything, I guess, and nothing that promotes proshipping or any kind of literally illegal pairing. If you dislike any direction taken ship-wise for this blog, then block me and move on with your day.

NSFW content: NSFW CONTENT IS NOT ALLOWED. I am a minor. Thx. Also, "suggestive" jokes are very selectively okay. Basically, if it makes me uncomfortable or is literally disgusting, it will be ignored and likely deleted, and I will probably make fun of you.

Roleplaying: I am totally okay with roleplaying and sending/responding to asks in character!

(ps: i'm also happy to rp with other regretevator ocs too, i think those r super duper cool)

That's all, really.

your mortal enemy,

-Hex

[faketrex]

We have reached the end of these cakegate bodyswap shenanigans. I hope you enjoy this final part! The whole thing will be up on my AO3 page... eventually.

Thank you kindly for reading and liking and reblogging and making me smile in the tags!

...

SHARING A SLICE... part 6

RWRB, rated T, 1000 words (this part).

(click here for part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5)

...

After brunch, they visit Tower Bridge.

“Over there is the Tower of London.”

“That’s where they locked women up when they didn't pop out babies fast enough for the king, right?”

“Exactly right. Did you know they kept an elephant there, too?”

“What?”

“They fed it bread and wine. I'm sure you’ll be shocked to learn that it died.”

“Y’know, I almost feel like I should cut you some slack. All that inbreeding obviously messed up your brains.”

Henry smiles. It probably looks great to the paparazzi.

After Tower Bridge, it's the Tate Modern, followed by St Paul's Cathedral, Hyde Park, dinner, and then Kensington Palace again for the night.

Yeah, it's a stunt, and yeah, Alex doesn't really get to look at the art or visit the sites, and yeah, he has zero say about the itinerary, but it's not terrible. Henry's not awful company.

By the end of the day, Alex is exhausted. Henry seems just as tired. On the one hand, they’ve convinced the public they're best friends and maybe reached a personal truce. On the other hand, it's twenty-four hours post-caketastrophe and they're still in the wrong fucking bodies.

“We can't stall any longer.” He's watching Henry pace back and forth in front of the windows with the ugly-ass curtains. “I have to go back tomorrow. Well, I mean, you do. You as me.”

Henry doesn't respond.

“How long do you think it’ll take one of us to get arrested for spying? My money's on less than forty-eight hours.”

“I need ice cream,” Henry announces.

“Music to my ears. Lead the way.”

They settle on opposite sides of the kitchen island and eat their ice cream in a half-peaceful, half-melancholic silence.

“Despite the uncanny aspect of it all, I have to admit this hasn't been horrible,” Henry says eventually. “They don't often let me play tourist... and I never get to fabricate pseudo-historical nonsense for a mouthy American.”

Alex nearly fumbles his cone. “Wait, you made stuff up? When?”

Henry shrugs.

“Come on. It was the elephant, wasn't it? I knew there was no way–”

“I assure you, the elephant was real.” Henry taps on his phone and spins it so Alex can see. “He even has his own Wikipedia entry.”

“Elephant of Henry III,” Alex reads, bending closer. “What the fuck.”

The smug expression on Henry's face – Alex's face – and the way he licks his ice cream makes Alex's stomach flip over strangely. His neck feels hot. There's melted ice cream dripping onto his hand.

Without breaking eye contact, Alex slides his free hand over the countertop and rests it on top of Henry's.

“Hey, don't spook, okay?”

His words have the opposite effect. Henry's eyes widen and his shoulders tense like he's getting ready to bolt, but Alex just tightens his grip.

“Maybe... close your eyes?”

“Alex–”

“Suit yourself,” Alex murmurs. As he leans in, Henry takes a deep breath, then closes his eyes. There's a nervous crease between his brows. "Okay. Here goes nothing.”

He mashes what's left of his ice cream against Henry’s face.

“What the hell, Alex?”

So much for that idea.

“Shit. I was thinking maybe the ice cream... after the cake... and I was touching your skin, so...” It doesn't make as much sense out loud as it did in Alex's head.

“You don't–” Henry sputters.

“Listen, I honestly wasn't trying to get back at you for the tour guide shit, I hoped it would fix–”

“No, no, I was wrong, I thought you–”

“What?”

“Alex, don't...” Henry laughs under his breath and reaches out to flatten a sticky palm against Alex's cheek. “Don't spook, alright?”

Before Alex can complain about the mess, Henry brings their lips together in a soft, vanilla-flavored kiss. Alex's stomach flips over again. He closes his eyes. Like this, it's easy to forget he’s kissing himself – and it’s still Henry, isn’t it? It's Henry, kissing him. Henry, kissing Alex.

The kiss is cautious, like Henry's expecting rejection; Alex leans into it anyway. Henry's hand smears ice cream onto his face and the edge of the counter presses into his ribcage, painful, but he wants it. It's shocking how powerful the want is when he hadn't even noticed it before.

Alex slides one hand up Henry's cheek, into his soft hair, and feels – he opens his eyes.

“Well, fuck.” Have Henry's eyes always been so blue? They hadn't seemed that blue in the mirror. They're kind of beautiful.

“Hello,” Henry says. “I'm back? You're back. Are you?”

“I guess. When did you come up with that plan?”

“I – plan?”

“You figured it out? Curse-breaking kisses or something? Wasn't that–” Alex stops. Henry hasn't pulled back from his awkward lean across the counter. From bizarre-but-true personal experience of less than sixty seconds ago, Alex knows for a fact that it's an uncomfortable position.

“If you'd like, I could pretend that it was part of a plan,” Henry offers quietly. “I've got plenty of experience pretending.”

If it's not the truth, though, Alex doesn’t want it. “Nah, no need. Don't get me wrong, it's weird if you don't want any credit for getting us back to normal again, but whatever.”

Henry's incredulous laugh makes Alex feel like kissing him again. “Covered in ice cream is normal for you?”

“Hey, chill. We're having a fucking moment.”

“A fucking moment, truly,” Henry echoes, mocking, but his smile is wide and happy.

“I'm not used to being covered in cake, trading bodies, being covered in ice cream, or kissing princes.”

“No?”

“But I've been branching out lately. Expanding my horizons, y’know.”

“I see. And now you know what to do if any one of those things happens again, I suppose?” Henry squeezes Alex's hand where they're still twined together.

“Yeah,” Alex agrees, squeezing back and leaning in. They've got more to figure out here, but right now it's his turn. Henry kissed him, so now he needs to try it for himself. Simple. “Let me show you. It's a piece of cake.”

...

[gffa]

Sometimes I see the absolute worst anti jedi takes in the reblogs/tags of your posts and I have to exercise inhuman restraint not to start shit because I don't want to put you through more Discourse™

I know the feeling, anon, and here's my general take on the situation: I don't usually see a lot of Jedi fans going onto Jedi-critical people's posts, like maybe it happens more than I'm aware, but as far as I can tell, when Jedi fans start getting sharp and arguing back, it's because someone else came onto one of our posts first to argue with us. And I'm fine with that. I think we should leave people alone if they're doing their own posts on their own blog, like if you find them to be a weird asshole or behaving poorly with thinly veiled snide vague blogging or you're just annoyed by them, block away! But leave their posts alone, would be my advice. But if someone comes into my space? Oh, then they fired first and I'm/my friends are certainly allowed to respond. In general, I always recommend asking yourself if you think this will be a fruitful direction to go in--not necessarily that you're going to change anyone's mind, but just simply writing the response for the sake of writing the response, will that be satisfying to you? If it's about trying to change someone's mind, I personally don't think it'll be satisfying. But sometimes it's fun to write out a response just because you like doing that sort of thing. Sometimes it's fun to write an essay to explain why I love a thing. In that case, I'm okay with it! But if it's going to make you miserable, I care more about your state of having a good day than I do about arguing with weird people on-line, you know? What I don't want is people going into someone else's inbox on my behalf to start Discourse (even if they behaved horribly) and I don't want people steeping themselves in their anger because I don't think that makes for a fun fandom in our corner, but if responding to something on one of my posts would make you a happier person, would make for a satisfying exercise in writing a response, then I'm totally okay with that! I deeply appreciate that you don't want to put me through Discourse, I pass by a lot of stuff because I feel the same way about you guys--there have been so many times I've let shit go because I don't want to Get Into It, I have other things to do/I don't want to make other people's days worse. But if you would find it satisfying to write a meta response to someone starting shit on my posts, regardless of what the asshole said, then by all means, do so. I don't want to get into personal arguments with assholes on-line, they're better off being ignored (or reported if they cross a line), but writing an essay response I know my friends will like? Oh, that's worth doing for me.

[fictionalcharactersaremypassion]

Here's part 2 of Caught. Just a warning that this does feature some homophobic language (the f slur a few times and Terry's nasty views on gay people as a whole)

I wrote it to show Colin's internal struggle. He loves his brother, doesn't care that he's gay but still lives with the knowledge of how Terry thinks and what he'd do. I also forgot to mention (I said it on ao3) that this takes place in s1 and Terry is in prison

Also I hope Fiona doesn't sound too OOC. In this universe since she's dating a Milkovich herself, she wouldn't really care all that much that Ian is doing the same thing with Mickey

@callivich

@zutaralesbian (I didn't know if you'd want to be tagged or not but I saw in your tags when you reblogged the first part that it was an interesting premise)

Anyway, here's chapter 2:

****

Colin stood with his back to the front door for nearly a minute. While he promised Fiona he’d go talk to Mickey, he wasn’t really sure how to do that. Milkovich’s didn’t do heart-to-heart talks. They didn’t even apologize, just moved on, pretending it never happened. 

And what the fuck is he even supposed to say? Did Mickey need more reassurance? He already said he didn’t give a shit, should be enough damn assurance. 

He rubbed the side of his nose. Goddamn it, he wasn’t lying when he said he didn’t care but this was out of his expertise. Finding out his brother was a fag was just mind blowing. He’d never peg Mick as one of them. Weren’t they supposed to be weak and shit? Terry always said you could tell who was a fag and who wasn’t. But Colin wouldn’t have been able to tell if Gallagher or Mickey were by just looking at them. 

He was so fucking confused. 

“He needs to know you aren’t going to kick his ass over it.” 

He wouldn’t, and that’s what made the situation all the more complicated. He should hate Mickey on the spot, to think of him as nothing more than vermin. That’s what Terry said.

And well, Colin used to agree. Until he stopped giving a fuck. He didn’t know when that happened, when he would have willingly participated in a good ol’ fag bash to being indifferent so long as it didn’t involve him. 

He’d brush off Terry’s rants about them, not bothering to speak up because he knew it’d only earn him his dad’s wrath. But now, knowing Mickey was hearing all of this, living a life no one else knew about, made his stomach twist uncomfortably. 

He’d be expected to go in there and beat the living shit out of him. Kick him out and let him live on the streets. His little brother that he used to help feed and entice him to walk by dangling cigarette butts and other things a child that young shouldn't be touching. 

“Make sure he’s okay,” Fiona’s voice came back to him. 

Colin blew out a puff of air, going right towards Mickey’s bedroom without knocking. 

He found his youngest brother shoving clothes into a duffle bag, making him stop in his tracks. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” 

“What’s it look like, dipshit?” Mickey shot back defensively. His hand was itching to grab the handgun that was laying on his dresser. “I’m getting out of here.” 

“Why?” Colin demanded. 

“Don’t act fucking stupid. It’s what you want,” Mickey was incredibly tense, like he was expecting a fight to break out. 

“When the fuck did I tell you to leave?” Colin shoved him. Mickey took this as a sign to fight; he pushed with all his might so his older brother’s back would land against the wall with a thud. 

Fuck that. Colin hurled himself on top of Mickey, knocking him to the floor so he was effectively pinned. He tried to fight against it, but Colin had his hands pressed into the boy’s shoulders. 

“What is your problem?” He demanded. Mickey wasn’t responding, he was doing whatever he could to get away. “Fucking hell-Mickey! Answer me or I swear to fucking God I’m going to knock your teeth out!” 

His shout had stirred Mandy, who shrieked at them to shut the fuck up. 

Below him, Mickey was breathing heavily, staring up with wide, panicked eyes. 

He was supposed to look his brother in the eyes and beat him within an inch of his life, to make him think twice about fucking other guys. 

“Calm down,” Colin probably should have known that wasn’t going to do much but give him a fucking break. He was new to this. “I don’t know what your fucking problem is but I said I didn’t give a shit about you liking dick.”

“Like I believe a damn word of that,” Mickey snapped. 

“What the fuck do you want me to say, dickhead?” Frustration leaked into Colin’s voice. “You want me to hold your damn hand or somethin’?” 

“Fuck you!” Mickey tried to kneed him in the balls. If it weren’t for Colin being stronger than his brother, he would’ve been nursing some black and blue balls. “You’re just gonna go and tell Dad anyway!” 

“What?” Colin stared down at him. “Why the fuck would I do that?” 

This seemed to make his brother freeze, staring back up at him warily. 

Jesus. Mickey really thought Colin was going to tell him like he got some sick enjoyment out of knowing what would end up happening to him if their psychotic father knew. 

And he didn’t- a horrible feeling crawled up Colin’s back with the realization that while Mickey had seemingly reacted well out there, he must have been fucking terrified about what was going to happen once they were alone. 

He didn’t know. Didn’t think about this at all. Other than a few obligatory dick jokes at Mick’s expense, Colin didn’t think this was going to be an issue. 

“God, Mickey,” Colin sat back, taking his hands off his brother. “I’m not-I won’t tell Dad about this.” 

He peeled himself off Mickey, standing up. His brother slowly did the same, eyeing him suspiciously. 

“Why?” He said. 

Colin raised his eyebrows. “Do you want me to tell him?” 

“No, you asshole,” Mickey said, looking like he was gearing up for another fight. 

“Okay, then. What’s the problem?” 

“But...” Mickey looked younger all of a sudden. The anger was gone, now he just seemed confused. “I’m a fag.” 

Colin shrugged. “Yeah. But you’re still my brother.” 

At this, Mickey’s gaze turned gobsmacked, rendering him speechless. 

“We both know what Terry would do,” Colin said, voice quiet. “I ain’t doin’ that to you.” 

Mickey blinked, arms limply hanging by his sides. He stared at Colin for what felt like a long time, nodding slowly. 

“Just be careful, okay? If you’re gonna suck some dick, do it where Terry won’t find you.” 

He didn’t want to think about Terry ever finding out. But one thing’s for sure, he’d fucking kill the bastard if he had to before he ever let him touch Mickey. 

“Yeah,” Mickey sounded a bit dazed. “Okay.” 

Colin contemplated his next thought, clicking his tongue. “I ain’t gonna make you tell Ig or Mandy, but they ain’t gonna care either.” 

“I ain’t tellin’ them,” Mickey was shaking his head. 

“Okay,” Colin shrugged. 

Silence permeated the air. 

They’d spent too much time in touchy-feely territory, so Colin decided to break it up. “So,” he said casually, “Ian, huh?” 

“Don’t fucking start,” Mickey said warningly. 

Colin couldn’t help but smirk at the blush on his brother’s cheeks.  “Didn’t know you liked redheads.” 

This just embarrassed Mickey further, much to his amusement. “Don’t you have a fucking date to get ready for?” 

“Fiona will understand,” he reasoned. Mickey scowled. “So, you gonna unpack your shit and quit actin’ so dramatic?” 

“Whatever,” Mickey grumbled, but he did just that, pulling his clothes out to stuff back into his dresser drawers. 

“I meant what I said, you know,” Colin said, watching Mickey slow his movements. “I don’t care. You’re my brother no matter if you like dick or not. That ain’t changin’.” 

Mickey’s eyes flickered to him. “Thanks,” he said, shifting his footing. 

“I just got one question,” Colin said seriously. 

“What?” 

Colin couldn’t keep up the serious facade any longer, and let a grin bloom over his face. “Who sticks it in who?” 

---

“So, a Milkovich, huh?” 

The Gallagher house was quiet. Surprisingly, none of the other kids were up yet so no one else knew about Fiona or Ian’s whereabouts last night. She’d rather keep it that way, at least concerning herself. No need to tell them anything right now. 

After having changed into fresh clothes, taking care of her hair and brushing her teeth, Fiona went back downstairs to wait. Ian changed too, but he was going to go back to bed once he got a cup of juice to quench his thirst. 

They sat across from each other, neither one speaking at first. Fiona observed the way her brother ducked his head a little, a flush taking over his face that made his freckles stand out more than they already did. 

“Yeah,” his eyes dropped down to his cup, hands wrapped around it. 

“How’d that happen?” Fiona said with curiosity. She never would have thought Mickey Milkovich of all people was secretly gay, and to be dating her brother on top of it. 

Ian raked his teeth over his lower lip, contemplating. “He was shopping from Kash and Grab,” he said. “Linda gave Kash a gun to keep him from doing it again but he took that too. So I went to the Milkovich house to get it back.” 

Fiona was dumbfounded. Not many people had the balls to go to that house after all the rumors that circled around the SouthSide about them. 

“Okay, and then what happened?” 

Taking a deep breath, ian said, “I went in his room and kind poked him with a tire iron-” 

“What the fuck?” 

“He tried to fight me,” Ian recounted, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Jesus, I’m surprised that’s all he tried to do,” she shook her head. “Then what happened?” 

Given the sheepish smile and the way he wouldn’t look her in the eyes, Fiona is fairly sure she won’t like the answer. “We fucked.” 

“You fought and you fucked?” She said incredulously. 

“Yeah...” 

There was so much she wanted to say, but it was probably hypocritical considering she had her own Milkovich. Instead, she tucked a curl behind her ear, choosing her next word carefully. “Does anyone else know?” 

“No,” Ian said, looking pleadingly at her. “And you can’t tell anyone.” 

“I won’t,” she promised, taking a glance at the clock on the microwave. 

Still had around ten minutes ‘till she had to leave. 

“You're not upset,” Ian began, causing her to look his way, “are you?” 

The question kinda threw her off. “Upset about what?” 

“Me and Mickey,” he said quietly. 

“Ian, you know I don't have a problem with you being gay.” 

“No,” he shook his head, “not that. I mean because he's a Milkovich.” 

“I can't really say anything, can I?” She shrugged. “It’s surprisin’ but if you're happy that's all that matters. Besides, anyone can see Mickey clearly feels the same.” 

This information made Ian beam. He'd never really had any crushes  before like Lip did, at least any that he told her about. There was his whole obsession with Justin Timberlake, though, when he managed to get his hands on a CD and for a long while they all had to endure that music. 

“What about you and Colin?” Ian said, “How’d that happen?” 

“Would you believe I was drunk off my ass?” Fiona rolled her eyes. “Went to a new bar after a shitty shift. He was there too, didn’t even recognize him at first.” 

“And you...fucked?” Ian clarified. 

“Yeah,” she said simply. “Made out before that for a while before I realized who he was.” 

She’d initially not known what to think once some of the haze in her head cleared up a bit, staring into the bright eyes of Colin Milkovich. She’d heard all the rumors, of course, who hadn’t? She knew what a screwed up mess his family was, but it wasn’t like she had it any better with Frank and Monica. 

So Fiona said fuck it and went for it. The two of them had sex in the single stall bathroom for what she believed would be the first and only time. 

Only, it hadn’t been. 

The two of them found more ways to be around each other, coming into each other’s presence unnecessarily, which led to them to fuck on a non regular basis. 

Ian nodded, taking it all in. 

“Just promise me something,” she said once the silence started to settle. 

He sat up a little straighter. “What’s that?” 

“Promise me you’ll be safe?” She said seriously. “Their dad isn’t like Frank. He’s much worse and he’ll fuck you up and get a bunch of his buddies to do the same. If you want to be with Mickey, fine, but you need to be smart about it.” 

“I will,” he said immediately. “Don’t worry, Fi. We’ll be careful Mickey’s scared about it too.” 

“He told you that?” 

“Didn’t have to,” Ian said grimly. She let out a heavy sigh.  

It shouldn’t be like this. She shouldn't have to worry about her brother or his boyfriend getting jumped or worse. But as long as people like Terry Milkovich roamed the streets, neither one of them would be safe.

Her brother’s voice brought her out of her musings. 

“I didn't expect Colin to be okay with it.” 

“With Mickey being gay?” She said. 

He nodded. “I know Mandy's not like that but from what Mickey said, his brother and cousins all follow his dad's lead.” 

“He's not his dad,” Fiona knew that for a fact. “Neither is Iggy. They just can't let Terry know that.” 

“Jesus,” Ian muttered. He looked at her, like he was able to say something else. “Do you think Mickey's okay? I think he was a bit freaked out that you and Colin know.” 

“He's probably fine,” Fiona said. At least, she thought so. Whether Colin would handle this appropriately was debatable. When Ian yawned, she smiled fondly. “Get some sleep, Sweetface. You still got work later.” 

“Okay,” he got up to rinse his cup, dragging himself up the stairs. “Night, Fi.” 

“Night,” she watched him disappear around the corner. 

[lemotmo]

She responded 🤣

Q. Ali! Now can we say they're trolling? Please let us call it trolling now!? Holy shit!

Q. I desperately need to hear you try to make this sound professional 🤣🤣🤣. I freaking love him!

Q. Ryan said wah cry more 😂😂

A. Okay I had to watch it several times because I didn't quite believe it on my first watch. For starters it is a genuinely funny video. The part about only introducing him to like 4 people and just calling everyone else extra absolutely took me out. Genius. I don't think he shared it with cruel intentions. I think he honestly thought it was funny and that most of the people who follow him would find it funny. Having said that though I don't think he actually cares if it offends anyone. And he shouldn't care. Things have been uncomfortable and unfortunate for Oliver but what they attempted to do to Ryan was grotesque and indefensible. If anyone has the right to be over their bullshit it's him. Oliver is getting hate from them because he doesn't ship it and doesn't appear to be friendly with Lou. Ryan is getting hate because he's the one Oliver prefers and he plays the character the audience prefers. That's it. That's what they're so upset about and for that reason, and only that reason they tried to assassinate his character.

Everything that we have seen, heard and experienced over the last 3 months would not have happened if his name was Loretta instead of Lou and he was playing a Tammy instead of a Tommy. The entire thing has been endlessly ridiculous and entirely exhausting. If we're this over the entire thing imagine how over it Oliver and Ryan are. He's going to appear in some capacity in season 8. They're going to get to see him for at least a bit. They need to take what they get and let the rest go. He was never going to be treated like or added as a main. It's not our fault they decided to believe proven liars instead of facts directly presented to them. If the cast wants to have a little fun over how stupid the entire situation is, then more power to them. And it was a truly funny video. Voodoo dolls and all 😂

Thank you Nonny for dropping this in my inbox. :)

As for the rest of this post? I agree with all of it. :D

It's a genuinly funny video. He shouldn't be afraid to post it, because some fans might not like it. He is free to post whatever he wants to post.

¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[lu-lus-dicks]

Hi, here's about me and some questions you might have!

Updated: april 26th 2024

MINORS DNI please

Important!! Please don't use real money to do things for me in any capacity. It makes me uneasy, uncomfortable and puts a lot of pressure on me. Thank you for your understanding <3 also Important: I can not and will not take anything seriously, if you want to say something serious to me, send me a DM, I'm more likely to respond seriously there

Who are you?

@ nunalastor's emotional support white boy™

People just call me lulu on here. I'm 20 and go by any pronouns. AFAB (and cis). my gender is whatever makes you gay. somewhere on the ace spectrum.

Also CEO of forcing people to get some fucking sleep!

important note: I respond in the horniest ways to @ nunalastorscursedkitten, but they have explicitly stated they don't want sexual stuff directed towards them without their consent. I have confirmed that they are okay with me responding in a horny way and you should make sure before doing it too

tags (will not sort these out at all):

who is safe here?

lulu is delulu - my posts

babygirl anon fest - asks specifically from babygirl

revoke lulu's art license - my art stuff

nunwhiskers - the ship of nunalastor x huskers-bar

lulu is feral - reblogs where I am feral

lulus nun reblogs - I just tend to reblog everything of nunalastors so it's a tag now

lulu reblogs - art/theories/incorrect quotes ect

lulu convos - me interracting with peeps here

lulu crooks - going into detail about things i shouldn't be going into detail of. (maybe infodumping)

cursed polycule - me and the 100+ husbands/wives interracting (xxx-angie list in their pinned)

lulu asks - me answering asks

this is a nunalastor simp blog - anytime I openly bark for nunalastor

lulu lore - me accidentally dropping irl lulu lore

lulu fun facts - exactly what it says

lulu polls - polls

lulu is a boomer - me not knowing basic pop culture things cuz I live under a rock

lulu loves nunalastorscursedkitten / and paincaat too / lulu loves paincaat / and nunalastorscursedkitten too - my interractions with @ paincaat / @ nunalastorscursedkitten

lulu loves getting called slurs - me getting called the f-word

lulu infodumps - infodumps about stuff that might not always be hazbin hotel

fools being sexy - @ the-aprilfools-bitch tag

everyone except minors. I don't judge. This is a safe space regardless of race, gender, sexuality or anything else. Be as cringe/not cringe as you want

What is this blog?

Used to be a hazbin blog, now turned to me simping for daddy nunalastor and interracting with the cursed polycule

What can I ask or share with you?

Literally anything you want to share, no limits. I respond to everything, even hate so if I haven't responded I'm either asleep or the message didn't appear in my inbox.

One thing I don't respond to is chain sends cuz I can't be bothered with that shit. Anything else is a yes

What's with the bad English?

English is my second language. I pride myself on being able to read it fluently, but I might have problems with talking in a way that flows naturally to native speakers. So sorry bout that

What time are you active?

Honestly, all over the place. Don't look too much into it, but I'm from the country of Georgia if that helps

Can I use your ideas?

Absolutely! You don't even need to ask. I won't say this is a necessity, but If you decide to use them, I'd love it if you'd tag me. I love seeing all kinds of things people make and I'd love to see yours too!

Why are you so unhinged and sexual? Aren't you ace?

Asexuals aren't all sex-repulssed and can enjoy it too. I am uncomfy with the act of sex but I love joking and shitting about it. Me saying something is hot/sexy/makes my dick hard is just me saying "I love this and i think it's cool" when that isn't enough to express my love. (I think I'm being funny)

Is the art on nunalastor's blog you sometimes repost yours?

Yes, the art posted on their asks by mylz-flick is by me. It's my primary blog and i don't use it for anything so all my asks are submitted through there

Why don't you post as often anymore?

Because all my posts go straight to nunalastor's blog. Go check them out, it's great

By nunalastor s request:

Who hurt you?

Nunalastor did when they rizzed up my mom

What's with the worms? That's disgusting

Well, nunalastor made this post and it turned me on a little ngl

What is the cursed polycule?

Well, I spontaneously decided that my go to funny (not funny) joke would be to start asking everyone who agreed with me or had similar tastes to kiss me. Long story short, now I'm a whore™ with 100+ husbands that I can't keep track of and that's the cursed polycule

Why do you keep calling nunalastor daddy?

Many reasons. First, Nunalastor saying they would fuck my mom in the DMs when I told them about her. So naturally, if my mom and nunalastor got married they would be the dad hence, daddy. Also, nunalastor is unapologetically my favourite blog on here and the title "daddy" is reserved for them. Also their word is law to me and they deserve the respectful title

The way you interract with minors is disgusting

I have minors please don't interract in my bio for a reason. I expect a decent human being to see that and kindly leave my blog. I don't check who I'm responding to most of the time so I probably didn't even notice it was a minor. I'm just trying to be fun.

If you are a minor and I responded/reblogged your art or post with some batshit crazy shenanigans like I do with everyone, send me a DM and I'll delete it. I'd rather it be in the DMs instead of out in public because out here I have people acting like they hate me and I don't want to accidentally take something that's meant to be a serious request to stop like a joke.

What's with that one pregnant anon stuff at nunalastors blog?

Listen, I don't care what shit people send me, but if you even dare harm, harass or just in general be an asshole to the ones I consider nice people, I will not take that lightly.

To everyone: if you get haters, tag me so I can draw them pregnant.

Is the cursed polycule an actual relationship or just a joke?

It's just a joke between us.

Can I join the polycule?

Daddy has revoked my marriage license so you'll have to consult with the other members. I take what daddy demands very seriously

You can however, talk to the other members of the polycule and join. We could also have a platonic relationship going on in the polycule if you want

What is up with you and pronouns?

Sorry, in my native language there are no gendered pronouns. We just have a singular he/she/they for everyone. I use he/him for me (despite being a woman) because it's what rolls off the tongue easier for me. For everyone else I use they/them because you can never go wrong with neutral.

Are you actually attracted to nunalastor?

Why do you keep mentioning nunalastor calling you the f-word?

No. It's me and paincaat my beloved. They say gay shit to me and I find that hot

Because I genuinely /gen /srs loved it. This isn't a joke. It made me overstimmed and honestly was a little overwhelmed with giddiness. keep in mind though, that while I enjoy getting called the slur, I will not be calling anyone that because that makes me uncomfy.

why haven't you responded to my reblog/comment/ask?

I generally respond to everyone I can. but either it was

lost in my notifs

was posted by a minor and I don't want to attract minors here

If it was on a reblog of something, I assumed it was meant for op

I just couldn't think of anything to respond with (which is rare)

feel free to let me know if it was either 1 or 3 but I won't respond to minors

[nintndo64]

"Keep your hands off the keyboard, Take it easy!"

Hey, what's up? I'm Wyatt Larkins, welcome to my blog. Joined this site to see what the whole deal was, heard a bunch of people were on here so I couldn't help but check it out myself. You'll find a bunch of shit about tech posted here, maybe some music, a bit of gaming content here and there. It's a good time.

I fix phones and other devices for a living, but I'm a band lackey on the side for Wrath Of The Gods, I edit their music videos too, fuck around with photoshop for album covers, do all of the Internet stuff to actually get the algorithm to latch on.

Basic info about me? Well I'm 25, a huge fan on video games and old consoles, I'm a dude, was born a dude, still am a dude... I like women, but I'm not picky. Maybe I like guys? Haven't decided yet. But if anyone wants to talk I'm open to conversations! Drop an ask, I'll respond.

Hello! I'm Richie, the owner of this blog (obviously), this is my second ever roleplay blog so I'm still learning the basics! I've been into saw for a few years now and have been role-playing a few characters for just as long, Wyatt is very new to me however and I'm using this blog as a way to expand and explore my interpretation of him!

I am an 18 year old who also happens to be homosexual and transmasc, I go by he/him. Due to my age and the themes of the saw series itself, I don't feel comfortable roleplaying with anybody under the age of 16, everyone else I'm pretty chill with, interact away!

There will be NSFW themes on this blog, and I'm totally ok with nsfw asks, the more the merrier. With this being a saw blog, there of course will be dark themes too, if you're not okay with that you've been warned

I am totally okay with shipping, that includes crackships, rarepairs and oc x canon, just dm me first or shoot me an ask to discuss everything.

My main blog is @1nervegas1 and I also have a Daniel Matthews blog @riotsnrebellion if you'd like to check those out too!

TAGS THAT MAY BE USED ON THIS BLOG

-#🥁>RICHIE RAMBLES (ooc stuff)

-#👾>WYATT WAFFLES (his thoughts/normal posts)

-#💿>WYATT YAPS (Character interactions/answering asks)

-#💻>WYATTCORE (things I associate with him)

-💾>WYATT REBLOGS (his reblogs)

- <❗HEADACANON❗> (self explanatory)

All credits for dividers go to: @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

[protectingtulpas]

🔥 BY TULPAS, FOR TULPAS 🔥

Hey everybody!! Welcome to the blog ✨✨ I'm Badeline, she/her pronouns, and this is dedicated to being a protected space for tulpas, tulpa hosts, and anyone trying to learn about us or is interested in creating one of us. We are people, and we deserve to exist!

Tulpas deserve to love life!! Help me make that a reality!

If you're new here, I'll keep it simple; a tulpa is a sentient being created by willful, repeated, and dedicated interaction with the concept of a person until they start to respond back and stop being controlled by you. They live with you and share your mind forever, generally as friends, and through trust and communication you can learn to do cool things like switch who's controlling the body, chat all day and get another perspective, and generally just have your life enhanced with a companion by your side looking to do stuff! Think of it like an imaginary friend, but you can't control them, cus we're our own people. If you want more info, check out my explanation with sources here! You can also look at "What is a tulpa?" from tulpa.info, or this carrd, it goes into more detail and links some sources. Tulpa.info and the tulpanomicon are some of the best sources out there, especially the latter for creation! I reclaim calling myself a demon but most tulpas DO NOT.

This is half a tulpamancy advice blog and half a support network for tulpas in the face of the hate and shit we get thrown at us. We are real and we deserve to EXIST!! Got formation questions? Skillset questions? Wonderland questions? Questions about intersectionality with other forms of multiplicity? Life questions relating to being a tulpa or tulpamancy? Send in an ask! It's important that YOUR voice is heard. We deserve respect, and we will NOT be silenced by those who'd be happier if we didn't exist! We're not some Supernatural TV thing that'll come kill people in their sleep, we ARE people, and I'm done being quiet.

If I haven't responded to your ask yet and I've clearly answered ones that came after, it's probably because I'm planning a detailed response for it!!

#tulpamancy advice - tag for advice I've given! Check it out if you've got any questions

#making wonderlands - tag for wonderland/headspace advice!

Wondering why I'm taking so long to post stuff?

Here's a shitfuckton of plural resources!!

The difference between tulpa hosts & system hosts!

🔥 Blog dedicated to @eeveecraft

🔥 @moonpool-system is our main system blog

🔥 Times I've been called a bitch counter: 2

🔥 PLURALPUNK + PSYCHEPUNK + UNITYPUNK 🔥

DNI/Stereotypical controversy:

Our only DNI is that if you don't respect the existence of myself and other plurals, get out. That means transmeds and sysmeds can fuck off too, go find someplace else to be a bigot ✨ If you're an endo neutral/anti endo singlet we have P-DID so like actually consider who your exclusion is hurting thanks. Support all of us or admit you're an unsafe place for us.

I'm adding this too - I'm not fucking talking about the trans/ID or rad/queer community here. IMO "transplural" is just a fancy label for wanting to be plural, but I'm not in a place other than that to decide which ID labels are shitty and which aren't. Rad/queers, however, can fuck off. Okay? Ok. Here's some elaboration on that.

I don't agree with every single opinion of every single blog I interact with or reblog from, that's ridiculous. Read my posts, read my replies, but don't assume things about me based on other people. This fight against anti-plural rhetoric is about all of us, but that doesn't mean I agree about everything with every one of my allies. Purity is a tool of bigotry and we have more important problems to face than bickering.

If you're actually worried about what you've heard is cultural ap/propriation, consider this instead: Did you know you're listening to a rumor that originated with sysmeds who tell you that a directly researchable, blatantly open religion is closed, deny and call into question spiritual leaders' words on what meditations can be shared, and can't produce any examples of tangible harm?? (We have asked and gotten answers, by the way.) Anyways, if you're neutral about this or actually trying to learn, do research. Don't let sysmeds with a savior complex dictate what's harmful. There're tons of different people out there with different opinions that aren't homogeneous and shouldn't be treated as such. It's fucking embarrassing we have to go to these people to ask if the etymology of a goddamn word is ok to use anyways, it's time to stop forcing this shit on other ppl. Okay? OK. Sysmeds and aggressive anti-tulpa shit will either be fucking deleted from my ask box or used as an example of why they're wrong.

[ffcrazy15]

Y'know...

I'm kinda getting just...burnt out, man. I don't know what it is, but the fanfic community these last few years has just been really difficult to engage with. There are a lot of reasons, but I think among the biggest is this: (warning: long vent incoming):

So. I've been writing fanfic for...gosh, fourteen years now. And back in the day, we had our fair share of problems, I won't lie. Now I came in after the major flame wars of the '00s, but still, there were the shipping wars and the shit-stirrers and the people who took other people having a different opinion on their faves WAY too personally.

But! There were rules of engagement. People might not have always followed them, but back then you could say to someone, "hey, you're not behaving in the way we all agree people should behave in this space. You're being a jerk." And people would either lose their shit at you and you'd block them, or they'd apologize and not do the rude thing moving forward.

This went especially for new writers/readers. They'd make a mistake, people would inform them, and they wouldn't make the mistake again moving forward. That was how we built a health community back then.

*Now: a disclaimer. I know not all new fans are like this, and to those of you who do listen when people inform you of the etiquette of fandom spaces, I want to give a sincere thank-you. The following does not apply to you.

However, and not to be an old woman yelling at the kids to get off her lawn, but:

I see people trying, politely, to tell newcomers the basic rules of engagement for how to interact in fandom. "Don't complain about things that are clearly marked in the summary or tags." "Do not get into dumb shipping wars. Ship and let ship." "Don't leave harsh or unasked-for concrit." "Don't demand updates in the comments."

And instead of saying "Oh wow, sorry, I didn't know about that, I'll do better next time"—I see some new folks responding with things like "Well this just makes me NEVER want to comment/engage/participate!"

And writers are so scared of not getting ANY engagement in this landscape of already dwindling comments and reblogs—or worse, ruining things for other writers—that they immediately capitulate and say oh, we're sorry, we shouldn't have told you you were being rude, please don't stop commenting on fics, we were in the wrong.

And I'm here to say: No. Enough! It is our job as the older citizens of this space to set the expectations for community behavior. If the new arrivals get mildly embarrassed for being politely informed (key words there) that they've committed a faux pas, then that's okay! It's a growing experience. Learning how to be polite in new social settings isn't traumatizing them or causing them emotional harm. They will survive the couple seconds of embarrassment, and then they will go on to be kinder and more conscientious citizens of the digital landscape.

Now, if you're a newcomer who is intimidated by people telling you the rules of etiquette in fandom spaces:

Look. I get it. I was new to fandom once, and I know that that can be intimidating! But sometimes there are going to be situations where you will be new to a social setting and have to awkwardly feel things out, and you will make mistakes and be corrected by others. That's just part of life. Thankfully, fandom is a space where folks have really tried to cultivate clear rules of engagement and want to hand it on to new people! There are guides on the "ao3 etiquette" tag of how to leave polite comments and interact in fandom, and there are lots of people who will help you learn the ropes if you ask them nicely.

I promise you, you have the ability to learn the rules of social etiquette in this online space. You will be able to emotionally withstand the minor embarrassment; all of us have before you, and you will too. And if you are not able to emotionally handle someone politely taking you aside and informing you that you're making some social mistakes and how to fix them, then you are not mature enough to participate in fandom spaces.

Now, for folks who've read this far and would like some quick tips on fandom etiquette, here they are. Remember, none of this advice is meant as a criticism, and if you've done some of these things without knowing better, then that's okay, we all make mistakes! This is simply to help us all have a good time in this space and build each other up as readers and writers!

"Don't like, don't read." — The most important rule of fandom. If you come across a fanfic that has something in the summary or the tags that you don't like, then do not click on that fic. If you do choose to read it anyway, you have no right to blame the author for your reading something you didn't enjoy.

"Dead Dove: Do Not Eat." — A more extreme version of "Don't like, don't read," this means that there is content in the fic that most people would find disgusting, frightening or morally objectionable. Do not read that story if you do not want to read that sort of content.

"Ship and let ship." — Other people will like different ships or romantic pairings of characters than you do. Their doing so is not an insult to you or to the characters in question. If you do not want to engage with stories/fanart/etc. of that ship, then do not read those fics, and block those tags here on Tumblr. Do not go onto other people's fics/art/etc. and tell them that they are wrong for liking that ship (This includes if you find the ship morally objectionable; see "DL:DR" and "DD:DNE" above.)

Tagging – If you are a writer, make sure to tag your story appropriately. This includes the romantic ships (indicated with a slash, / ) and the friendship ships (indicated with an & or the word "and"). It also includes things like graphic depictions of violence, non-consensual or dubiously consensual sexual content, characters who are under the age of eighteen engaging in sexual situations, and major character death. It also includes "Dead Dove: Do Not Eat" (see above), which you should include as a tag if you have content in your fic that the majority of people would find disgusting, frightening or morally objectionable.

Rating – Make sure to rate your story appropriately. If there is explicit sexual content or graphic violence in your story, it should be rated as "mature" or "explicit." Do not label it as "teen" or "general" (or K, K+ or T on FF.net). If there is any sexual content or more-than-cartoon-violence in your story, it should not be rated as "general" (or K or K+).

Bookmarking — Be aware that unless you set the bookmark to "private," the author can read any comments or tags you leave on the bookmark.

Commenting — Almost all writers love comments, and many writers depend on comments for their motivation to continue a story. Leaving comments is both a great way to show a writer that you enjoy their story, as well as provide the writer with motivation to keep writing! A comment can be as elaborate as you like and list every detail you loved about the story, or as simple as "this was good, I really liked it!" Either of those is fine. Keyboard smashes are also fine, as are emojis if you're too shy to write a full comment.

Commenting on Older Stories — Is absolutely fine, and in fact highly appreciated!

Demanding an Update — Do not, however, demand that a writer update quickly or ask them when the next chapter will be. Writers are doing this for free, and demanding an update is considered impolite at best and guilt-tripping at worst. (Examples: saying "This is really good, excited for more!" is fine, since this does not put a timed expectation on the writer. Saying "This is really good, when is the next update!" is considered mildly impolite, and simply writing "Update" is considered highly rude. It is seen as demanding another free gift right after you've received one.)

Concrit/Constructive Criticism — Different writers' mileage will vary on how much they like constructive criticism, so best practice is to check their author's notes, summary, or author page to see if they say they are okay with concrit. If they do not say so, then default to assuming they don't want concrit.

If you do provide constructive criticism, make sure to include at least two compliments as well (preferably more). State the criticism politely and briefly.

Also, be aware that an author might disagree with your advice and choose not to take it. This is not a slight against you personally, and you should not treat it as such.

Do not offer criticism that is not meant to be constructive or help the author grow in their writing skills.

Do not offer "constructive criticism" about you disliking things the author has clearly tagged or noted in the summary. That is not constructive criticism, that is just flaming. (See "DL:DR" above.)

And finally: Never Ascribe to Maliciousness What Can Be Attributed To Ignorance. — If someone is rude to you, remember that they might be new to the space and not be aware of the rules of etiquette. Politely inform them that they've screwed up, and assume that everyone is well-intentioned until they prove otherwise.

And there you have it! By following the above advice, you can help to build up a thriving fan culture of happy writers and happy readers. Remember, we're all here to enjoy our favorite works together and create fan content for them, so let's all work together to create a pleasant digital space for one another. :)

[chickdinner]

HELLO!!!!!! IM BERRY.. A HOBBY ARTIST FROM BRAZIL!! (she/he, no they!)

STUFF IM INTO:

Sci-fi media most of the time, I'm really into the MOTHER series & Invader Zim at the moment so expect a lot of fan art from me of these medias

BYF:

I mainly draw fanart and don't have many OCs so you can follow me for exclusive fandom content, although I don't promise I'll post about it/draw it forever since my obsessions mostly last for around 6 months lol

I'm okay with people DMing me but I can get slightly anxious so sorry if I take a while to respond or just sound awkward

I'm also fine with people using my art for pfps and/or banners, just credit me!

I might draw sensitive content such as violence or just pieces with gore and/or blood, I will make sure to tag them with "cw blood, cw violence and cw gore" though!

P.S: I also sometimes reblog such sensitive content but I do not tag them, I only tag my art!!!

dm/ask me if you want anything specific tagged!

Aro/ace exclusionists dni. Along with any type of bigotry like basic DNI criteria boo booooooo

DNI IF YOU'RE A PROSHIPPER AND ALL THAT SHIT!!!! GET OUTTTT!!!!! THIS INCLUDES Z4DRS/IRKENXCHILD SHIPPERS AS WELL. Zim is an adult and if you don't believe that then you might as well just block me lmao

[rjalker]

Anpaaaaa for your free ableist blocklist

Pretending that it's not literally a fucking systemic problem here on Tumblr that whump blogs fill disability tags with this kind of fucking bullshit that's literally just fetishizing disabled people. Pretending that it's either my fault somehow or that I'm just making it all up. As though many disabled people haven't been fucking talking about this shit nonstop.

I still love the fact that this person literally sees me saying that specifically my physical disabilities are the ones being fucking targeted here and this person decide to respond with "oh well lots of whump writers are autistic and have ADHD so that makes it okay :)"

Imagine saying with a straight face that there has never ever been a problem with wump blogs invading disability tags. The world's fastest way to say that you never fucking talk to physically disabled people ever in your life.

Literally right fucking now just as a goddamn example All of the touch of verse tags and any variation on that term these tags are completely fucking unusable because they're filled with fucking people writing whump were they portray being touch-verse as the most terrible horrible thing ever to fucking happen to you.

This shit goes on for like two really fucking long reblogs.

So, wump community are you all ready to admit that your community is filled with ableists now or are you going to let a list assholes like this person use the disabled among you as tokens for erasing the ableism they are straight up enacting?

And PS fucking A. If you think being autistic or having ADHD means it's okay for you to be ableist as shit to physically disabled people and fill tags for physically disabilities with absolute bullshit, you're a horrible person.

[thecircularsystem]

Just... for once, I would like to go one year without someone spreading bullshit about me and my friends.

TW for harassment, sexual content, sui, paranoia, etc.

Okay. So.

I want to preface this with something.

I do not want any messages about this. I do not want to see a single message sent to Dude. I do not want to see a single message sent to Blue-Bubonic. I ESPECIALLY do not want a single message sent to Sophie, or Hal, or fucking Nox, or anyone, just keep this shit out of your mouths.

I am so, so tired of being caught in perpetual, triggering trauma. I am so, so tired of being accused of shit I never did, of things I never said, of things I don’t think or feel.

I made this post up because I’m delusional and paranoid. I hear that SAS spread rumors and my memory is different from that.

Am I lying? Am I wrong? Was I gaslit? Did I dream it? What if Blue is right? What if I’m a horrible person? What if I should die-

I’m so tired of it. So I have to go through, and dig back in, just like always, until my nails bleed from how hard I’m clinging to syscourse. And I’m trying to stop. Genuinely, firmly, I do not want to talk about this shit 24/7. I like aspects of it, but I’m tired.

Blue is not going to let it rest. More power to them — it’s obvious they need to get this out so that they can work on recovery. Good for them. I’m proud of them, genuinely, and I hope that their 100+ something page document helps them. It never helped me.

In the meantime, I need to talk about my trauma too. I need to get MY side out. That’s only fair.

This post isn't for syscourse. It isn't for drama. It isn't for spreading. Please leave us all alone. Let us get it out and then be done.

(Note: post has been edited to preserve someone’s privacy.)

The Problemaddtic Era

A year and a half ago (May 2023), a user by the name of Problemaddtic made a post. They had made several, many of which I found to be bad or in poor taste. This one took the cake though. That blog has since been terminated, by the internet is, of course, forever, as this drama unfortunately proves.

Here’s the post again. This time, with Dude of SAS fame’s rebuttal.

Problemaddtic posted this somewhat paranoia inducing post, which did trigger multiple people at that time. This post was posted to numerous tags, including endo safe tags. Many users spoke out about this, but primarily anti-endos. Many pro-endos didn’t bat an eye. I posted this.

Blue made the post unreblogable. Dude responded:

Upset about being called out, they started posting numerous things to the endo safe and pro-endo tags. The original post, if I remember correctly, was changed to feature an anatomical picture of a penis and balls, telling anti-endos to suck it. This meant anyone going to the post — or to public endo safe tags — would see it. I can’t find evidence of this, sadly; seems most syscoursers avoided reblogging that shit for obvious reasons. Here’s another example (with Dude’s response). Sophie warned people to block.

An anonymous pro-endo ask came to Dude about how Problemaddtic’s post was weaponizing their trauma. Dude once again offered his inbox as refuge and safety to vent. Here’s that post.

After this, problemaddtic retroactively added DNI banners to their posts. Here’s Dude and a mod on Sysboxes commenting on the box. Dude was calling out how the box did not protect problemaddtic from criticism, while the Sysboxes mod made fun of the box. Dude did not make fun of the box’s design directly, but rather, the purpose of the box.

Here’s another anon suggesting Problemaddtic is a troll, and Dude refuting that claim. Dude encouraged people not to judge all pro-endos by a single person’s actions.

Someone said that dude’s actions here were leaving a bad taste in their mouth. Here’s dude’s post in rebuttal, where he says he made fun of the DNI banner. I beg to differ, but sure, if Dude wants to say he did, crucify him for that if you really want to.

And finally, to cap off the Problemaddtic era: the Cock and Balls post that got a TW.

I’m not screenshotting it. It was genuinely quite triggering for many people. Hearing “that’s all your good for” in reference to sexual things? Way to echo what so many of our abusers have said. What Problemaddtic did was incredibly triggering for many users. Dude rightfully called them out for this.

Here’s someone who was hurt by the Problemaddtic post. Here’s someone who said it felt intentional.

Meanwhile, Dude’s posts at this time (beyond allowing anons to be heard) were comprised of cat pictures to cleanse the tags, and reblogs of positivity. After that last anon link, I cannot find reference to this drama again. Problemaddtic was terminated after many, many people reported the blog for the sexual content.

There was more at that time — I saw a few other posts about the drama that I skipped over from the tag, as well as knowledge that I went on an incredibly triggered ramble in a server I was part of warning people to avoid the tag. I don’t have access to that any longer so I can’t really share it.

Everyone moved on.

Blue-Bubonic Era

Sadly, I cannot seem to access an archive of Blue’s account. Trying to scroll back that far manually is not working, so I’m going to do what I can. Forgive me if I miss things, because tumblr's tag search is not the greatest.

Blue-Bubonic was revolving around the syscourse community for a little bit, reblogging SAS posts and generally staying mostly chill! I saw they were in syscourse, and I (somehow) immediately made the connection that this user was problemaddtic. This made me... incredibly uncomfortable. I just did my best to not engage much, as I really did not trust them not to explode as they had previously.

Apparently, I am one of the only individuals who knew who Blue was. Dude thought Blue was Elmani, actually, the "kill the anti-endo inside you" propaganda pusher. I hope Elmani's good wherever they ended up, it seems like they finally quit syscourse for good.

I believe Dude and Blue talked behind the scenes briefly. Dude had made the recent shift towards pro-endo. He was dealing with the aftermath of a catastrophic life changing event, one that he will always be dealing with the ramifications of, but which is still fresh. On my side of things, I was dealing with my first sessions of EMDR, chronic pink eye, multiple vacations (fun but stressful), and multiple traumaversaries on the horizon. We were all very, very tightly coiled, just doing our bests to stay calm and be gentle with ourselves.

On June 20th, Blue posted that they wanted to make a comprehensive document of why SophieinWonderland is "a shit person causing actual harm n hides behind the pro endo label when it comes to criticism regardless of which "side" is criticizing her."

Four days later, Blue posted that they had "Finished the draft, working on editing" and were "Thinking of letting some vet it before posting it publicly."

Discord Era

I can only speak about what I know.

Dude and me talk on Discord a lot. He shares things with me. For instance, that Sophie is a real breathing human person who has complimented me in private. Or that they talk, sometimes, way more than I would be brave enough to do (though knowing just snippets has made me actually able to respond to her again, and even reach out to her a bit. I'm happy to have more perspective now.)

He reached out to me, though, on June 26th, and said, "Want to take part in some Sophie drama?" And genuinely, I do want to see what's happening in terms of drama on tumblr. Especially since this took place after yet more insanely triggering posts from her. So I agreed.

Then Dude let me know he was adding me to a group chat with Blue and I said, "Oh boy. Alright." My heart sank. This was not going to end well.

It didn't!

Blue asked us to vet a document. I clicked into it and was immediately overwhelmed by the poor way the document was set up, the sheer amount of writing (the current iteration is 68k words), and the... lack of substance in that writing. I only looked briefly before immediately realizing just how triggering this would be for me. The last time I handled a long document like that, it was for the SN drama. It was when I was being accused of shit, callout posts that made me split a new part. I could not do this document or read more in that moment.

So I stopped, and said I would not be helping. I am not in the group chat any longer, but I do have the screenshots Blue took.

My point about callouts doing more harm: it would only lead to harassment, and it did. Not of Sophie, remarkably; I overestimated how much reach Blue's post would have. Instead, it led to Blue and Hal having all of Sophie's 2000 followers having their eyes on them. It wasn't fair and it wasn't right.

Sophie does make a lot of mistakes. A callout like this WAS exactly what she wanted, because it let her drag out the drama for Syscourse Points for over a month after it was posted. It let her attack "weak" (read: traumatizing) arguments for months, and really hurt my friend. The callout didn't help anything, just like I said it wouldn't.

I was too gentle about my last point. Keep my fucking friends out of your callout documents. Don't make callout documents at all. If you didn't experience, don't fucking talk about it, I'm tired of this shit. I have never once seen it end without the victims being hurt worse than they had been. I told myself it would be fine if you asked the victim for permission. Newsflash. It wasn't.

I didn't mention how fucking atrocious the points in the document were because, 1, I could barely remember after closing it, because my brain was actively trying to avoid Trigger Mode, and 2, because I didn't want to be too insulting to Blue. I mean, nobody likes hearing, "your formatting is shit, your points are largely nonsense, and for fucks sakes, it's spelled Syscourse, not SysCourse."

I did not want to be an asshole. So I politely and kindly dipped out, making my reservations known.

Blue did reach out to Hal, who gave permission for their blogs and past Sophiecourse Drama to be used in the document.

July 10th, Blue posted the Sophie document. A friend of mine (who I am keeping anonymous, since they seem to have mostly escaped this absolute bullshit) reached out to me and said: "We're going to make the call now: This will blow up in everyone's face and cause harm for everyone involved in the following days."

They were right.

I read through the entirety of the document over the following days. I do not remember most of it, particularly because the formatting is next to impossible for me to understand. It's simply too much. To (once again) quote my friend, "It felt like it was extremely bloated." I have to agree; much of this was trumped up or extended so long to make the document seem more intimidating, and by proxy, make Sophie seem worse. When people see 68k words, they shrug and say, "TL;DR Sophie is bad, got it." It's disingenuous.

I don't recall much also due to the fact that I am intensely triggered by this shit. Sophie is an insanely triggering topic for many people. Trying to read what she's done made me forget it all over again. I'm so tired of caring.

Anyways.

Sophie did what she does; she put Blue on blast for several months over several posts, ripping to shreds the document, triggering countless people.

Dude reached out to me and explained that he had promised a friend that, if this blew up, that he would "burn tumblr and sophie to the ground." And he couldn't. He fucking couldn't do that, because Sophie is a person, and he had just started to see that, and he was not ready to burn that bridge because of Blue's document.

So I took matters into my own hands. I called out Sophie's damage that she does. I called out that she's okay with it. I explained that Sophie is a person, as anyone else is, and that she is also Syscourse Incarnate. At the time, she was the most active syscourse blog, period, flat out. I also ripped into the document, because exactly what I was worried about was what happened.

Notably, in said post, Dude said he didn't blame the document author for any of this. I don't blame Blue either. The document did not cause Sophie to pull her triggering shit. Nobody is to blame for someone else’s actions. BUT FOR FUCKS SAKES. THE CALL TO ACTION ON THE POST WAS FOR PEOPLE TO BE FUCKING NICE TO EACH OTHER.

I predicted in that post that syscourse would get worse, and it did. I let people know that, if they stopped, they would be able to witness syscourse eat itself alive, and that's what happened.

Sigh.

I posted the post, and then posted my going away post. I was getting rid of my syscourse dedicated blogs, condensing, deleting, moving, archiving -- I WAS FUCKING DONE.

I also reached out to Blue to let them know I didn't blame them. They disregarded that and said my post was directly blaming them. I asked them to point out where I blamed them, and they said I "framed the situation" as blaming them. They blocked me, particularly it felt like because I wasn’t condemning Sophie enough. As if that would do anything at this point but feed her more attention.

I tried to leave! Blue brought me back, revealing I was a mod on SAS, which wasn't public information. They complained that I didn't mentally endanger myself to let them know why the document upset me so badly. Go figure, it was upsetting, so I didn't speak up.

I edited the original Blowing Up Syscourse Post to address Blue's post, which led to Dude later making a post that explained, "Wait, Blue-Bubonic wasn't the point of that post, THE POINT IS TO BE NICE AND STOP SYSCOURSING."

Nobody got the message.

Everyone continued to be assholes.

It got worse, just like I said it would.

Whatever The Fuck Era, Can We Move On?

Anyways, I was in the middle of moving at this point, with teaching suddenly being hell, EMDR falling through, suicidality spiking, relationship bumps, health scares -- genuinely, a lot of shit, none of which I owe you all. My therapist looked at me and told me I had to take time off work, because he didn't think I would survive until the end of the month. I looked him dead in the eyes and told him that if I took time off in October, it would lead to me killing myself.

That's where I've been these past few months.

Blue-Bubonic had some sort of drama with Noxsyscourse. I did not pay attention to most of it. I didn't want to pay attention to it. I just wanted to be left alone. I have so much more important shit than dealing with syscourse! I don't fucking stalk Blue's blog! I shouldn't have to write this shit!

But now we get to:

The Problemaddtic Plague

AKA, "The Plural Community Traumatized Us." That document Blue wrote strictly because Sophie is just such a monster that she needs to be deplatformed? Now includes me, nox, dude, sophie, I think Cambrian? I don't know, it's too many damn words for me to follow. I genuinely do not have the time to fucking reread the entire goddamn document. I cannot devote myself to someone else's blatant trauma spiral.

And yet, here I am, doing so, because I am at my limit.

Over the past few weeks, Blue has been having a very public meltdown on their blog about me and Dude's crimes. Primarily Dude, but the issues they have stem from my "Callout" of them. Reminder: I never once said their name in the original post. I did not focus on the callout, beyond saying it was poorly written. I only mentioned it as context for why Sophie's bullshit amped up.

I do not follow Blue, nor does Dude. Dude has been blocked for a very long time and does not look at Blue's blog. We were alerted to this by a very concerned friend. They wanted to warn me, October 23, that Blue was posting vitriol about Dude.

I'm not linking all of them here. These posts are very, very obviously a traumatized individual having a very public trauma spiral. They weren't tagged in main tags, and I can only thank God for that. However, I will address a few things from the 7 posts I can see about Dude.

My pronouns are They/Them. You repeatedly called me He/Him, and once They&, the latter of which can be incredibly triggering for my dissociation. Just... for future reference, for all those reading (which should not be Blue) -- I use They/Them.

Blue said they didn't WANT Dude to be nice, they NEEDED him to be nice. If you are this attached to an internet stranger for your emotional needs, then you are in desperate need of help. People online should not be your emotional crutch.

Blue did not "usher Dude into the pro-endo community." Blue welcomed him, along with hundreds of other people. Blue is not Dude's savior. They're a traumatized person, same as the rest of us, doing their best.

Nobody is weak for saying, "I'm too traumatized and fucked up to support this." Nobody is weak for saying, "The other side is a person too."

I did not publicly bash Blue. I never said their name. The document was bad in my eyes, but the post was not about Blue. It was about my friend, and the damage Sophie does, and the damage everyone in syscourse does, largely unintentionally -- though at this point, I have to think it's intentional.

Dude encouraged Blue to make the document which he told them he could not read, because he could not do it himself.

I do not "continue to bash Blue on SAS." I wrote a single post. One. Blue's the one who continues to bash us on their blog, writing post after post about me, when I have wanted nothing to do with them for months.

Someone can interact with a user who traumatized them, but still be too fucked up to work on a discourse filled triggering document. Those are two VERY different things.

Blue did post sexual content online. Blue DID post horrendous things. Dude did not get their blog terminated. They did that themselves, through their actions.

If years upon years of Dude fighting against Sophie and documenting her shit did not stop syscourse in its tracks to deplatform her, then Blue's document had no hope. To believe otherwise -- and furthermore, to blame Dude's lack of ability to work on a highly triggering thing on the document's failure -- is to be completely out of touch.

Anyways.

Me and Dude continued to ignore. We tried to keep Blue out of everything. We didn't want to draw attention to their public spiral. It was around this time, though, that I saw that the callout document was renamed, and that I was suddenly being listed as a traumatizer. Wonderful.

We still ignored it. Whatever, you know? People have spread lies about us since the day we became popular. Whatever. It's fine.

Nevermind that this is directly mimicking the trauma that Blue detailed about SN. Nevermind that this is exactly what happened before. Nevermind that we are trying to hold our tongues, just like last time, because we're trying to avoid once again retriggering a vulnerable person. Nevermind that we're both one step away from killing ourselves.

No, our feelings don't matter more than Blue's, clearly. And what does it matter, right? It's one person.

But then Blue decides to bring it up nearly a month later, in main tags, comparing Dude to Sophie, hurting everyone in the process. And then you started lying about what was happening, saying Dude still followed you.

Let's address that post briefly, actually.

The difference between Dude and Sophie's actions are that Sophie repeatedly brought it up to make fun of the trauma someone was experiencing, and to say that DNIs were pointless. Dude brought up Blue's DNI because it was added after Blue had already triggered half of syscourse, and Blue added it as some sort of shield for criticism. Dude was ignoring Blue's DNI because the DNI was being used in bad faith. Sophie was ignoring DNIs specifically to traumatize people (ahem, to "defend herself"). Those are not the same thing.

Blue did trigger CSA victims. That is not debatable; that is not something Blue can justify. "I only did it because I was triggered!" That's still not okay. That is still not justification.

Blue turned reblogs off on the post where they triggered anti-endos paranoia after it was already addressed and criticized. Blue then changed the post to have a cock and balls. This is bullshit.

"taking the piss outta the situation was all we had left." Reminder: "taking the piss outta the situation" was actually repeatedly tagging the public tags with things like "sucking my cock is all you're good for" and "sysmeds are just mad that im not dissociative," WHICH multiple people said triggered them.

"bc we were not traumagenic so its ok to dehumanize us." Nobody came after them because they weren't traumagenic. They came after Blue because Blue triggered them.

"mod dude doesnt have to take any accountability for their role in the whole thing because they r pro sys conversation now" They want the drama to be done. Blue kept insisting they draw attention to it.

And then a new blog formed calling Dude and me out in their pinned post, using Blue's document.

Snapping

Dude reached out to Blue via Discord. Everything finally came to a head, and Dude tried to get to the bottom of it, tried to understand what in the fuck was happening, tried to get Blue to understand what was happening.

Blue posted that Dude was trying to "silence them."

So.

Dude finally made a post. And spoke up. We weren't allowed to, last time this bullshit happened to us, so we finally are now, because for fucks sake, I don't want to die.

The post shows the discord conversation that Dude had with Blue. It isn't pretty. It's once again a traumatized person doing traumatized things.

Just like this post is.

Just like all of Blue's posts had been.

Just like all of this situation is.

Where's this leave us?

I don't know. It's Saturday. I have grades to do. I have a cold house with no heat. I have a partner to take care of, and hunger that needs fixing, and I'm so, so tired.

I'm actively suicidal. I'm trying to figure out how to stay alive long enough to marry my partner, if I still can.

But I also managed to update my fanfic last night. And I'm looking forward to seeing my kids rage about the end of the shitty ass novel we're reading. Maybe we can rage together. I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving with my real family.

I'm trying to move past this.

I hope Blue can.

I hope Dude can.

I hope Nox, and Sophie, and everyone else in that shitty document or affected by this bullshit can.

And I hope those reading this can understand these things:

Callout documents are worthless beyond hurting people. That's all they do. Evidence: every callout document ever.

Drama like this shouldn't exist, but if it does, it should be private. Not broadcast to the tags on tumblr.

Everyone needs to leave us alone. Everyone involved needs to be able to be left alone.

If I catch any of my followers breathing a word in Blue's direction, you will be blocked. If I catch anyone in my inbox with a word about Blue, I will either be blocking you, or likely, I'll be too kind and send you a private message of "hey fuck you."

Please, just leave us alone.

[large-baguette-112]

omg an intro post??? in this economy???

Uhhh hi!! I'm Nugget! (though Nug or Nugs is fine as well :])

I'm a 20 year old artist and aspiring author who just likes reblogging my blorbos,,

my current fixations are Rain World, Hollow Knight, Ōkami, Runaway To The Stars (made by @/jayrockin), Outer Wilds, The August Few by Sam Fennah and taxidermy, but I mostly reblog Rain World related stuffs rn smdhdjd

I'm aroace and nonbinary, I use any/all pronouns, but feel free to just use they/them if you don't wanna get confused!

I have an art account!! @large-band-112

more under the cut because I don't wanna make this post very long BAHAHA

DNI Stuffs

(will be updated as time goes on, I'm just listing stuff off the top of my head rn)

If you're racist, pedophilic, ableist, homophobic, nazi, an AI artist, or just generally an asshole you will be blocked as soon as I find out. I do not tolerate any of this on my page.

As for tagging..

I try to keep this account fairly sfw, but i do occasionally reblog some suggestive posts (nothing raunchy tho dw) if I deem them safe-ish enough. I do my best to tag them accordingly!

I will try to tag any triggers or just general uncomfortable things, but I do not have the best knowledge of such things and will likely not know to tag them. If there is something I reblog/post frequently and it is a triggering subject, please let me know. I'm not very well versed on such things and would appreciate the assistance! I will do my best otherwise.

Also!!

If you're a mutual or just really wanna get to know me, feel free to dm me/ask for my discord!! I'm always down for a chat but I do have suuper bad social anxiety. If it takes me a while to respond I'm likely just trying to gather the courage to talk to you!

I am okay with people using my art to heavily reference or trace with credit (optional but preferred)!!!

the only thing I ask of you is if I can see it when it's done! I don't mind people using my art to help improve their own works, i actually love seeing it! However one thing i do NOT accept is people using my art for AI. do that shit and i will explode you forever actually

While my dms are open to mutuals who need to vent, I want a warning first. Nothing big, just ask before you begin so I can have the time to prepare myself.

While I am quite active here, I also have an Instagram! My art account there is large_band112, you'll find my main in its bio, but I don't post often there any more :)

I will say, I'm not as informed about stuff as I'd like to be.. If I say or do something offensive, please, please let me know. I will do my best to reeducate myself. I also ask to be patient with me, as sometimes I forget things, and will likely need to be reminded (just like.. outdated things that have new names n such for example).

[keyrey]

To those who need to hear it.

Likes, they're good. Thank you! Reblogs, oh my goodness, you want your audience to see my work? Oh... you didn't use tags? Don't even get me started on stalking the pages of each one of your ten followers. Not that I do that of course, right? A comment! Do I respond now or later? I don't want to be seen as a psychopath. I got a kudo! 100 hits!? Oh, but my writing's not even that good... Why is it that we put so much value on a number when the real value comes from acquiring new skills and knowledge?

Idealization? Check

False perception of reality? Double check.

Yikes.

Go back and look at the words written in bold. My writing's not even good. Why would you think that after all of the hours you've poured into your work, or the endless amount of times you searched the thesaurus for synonyms to 'said' and eventually fail and chose it anyway?

The amount of times I've opened this app not even a day after I post is unreal. I got a like already? Wow! I should probably post this on Ao3 too, right? Even though I utterly hate the outdated website, the red on white background and the minuscule text that is too jarring to look at?

Y'all, the need for validation from strangers on the internet is real.

Arguably, the craziest part about the ordeal is that every feed looks the same, but there's a story behind them all. All ideas develop differently. It's the whole meaning of story tropes, to have your own take of a commonly used cliché. My feed in particular is filled with heaps of SatoSugu (I don't mind this), Nanani fanfic (I love this), the most smuttiest of smut of all time (an occasional treat before I slip into slumber), and people swearing that Deadpool and Wolverine were doing a certain something in that Honda Odyssey. (They probably were. But come on, my mom watched this film. Loved the jokes though. Keep 'em coming.)

Upon my mere two months of posting and doom scrolling, I've observed that this isn't only a 'me' thing. Most, if not all people go through some form of self-doubt. So yeah, is this just a phase? Maybe. Is it okay if this whole doubting-yourself sensation is reoccurring? It is.

Your story is special.

Lovely Tumblr poster number one, Lovely Tumblr poster number two, may your ask inbox be cleared of my wacky questions. I will leave you alone for now. Please enjoy your life while I try to get myself under control. Let's hope you know who you are. Though I really hope you don't. I mentally cringe at the things I've gotten wrong about your character.

How about a day of rest? Yeah, that would be useful. A cup of warm tea? A cozy book amidst the comfort of silence? A podcast or a playlist running as you take in the sun? Your life has more meaning than you think. Put away the phone, your laptop and take in your surroundings. Please, don't be like me! Go to bed at a reasonable hour.

The funny thing about being self-aware is knowing that I will come back within the next thirty seconds to see how this post has been doing. I've already got this site bookmarked. Peak hypocrisy, right?

Jeez, I can't believe I'm writing this. I apologize for all you lactose intolerant readers out there. This is cheesy. Not even your usual Cheddar or American cheese. No, this is some full-on cheese mozzarella pull level shit right here. I'm not responsible for your bathroom needs. Just remember to wash your hands.

If I can try, you can try.

To sum up, keep putting yourself out there and sharing your voice with the world. Even if you don't see it, others do. Even if others don't see it, fuck them. No, you try to see the worth in your work for yourself. If you're tired, let yourself feel the fatigue and take a break.

For those who care, this isn't a goodbye to Tumblr. Just a reminder that it's a website that you can remove yourself from at any time with proper accountability for your actions. It's hard to practice and it's not something that I can give advice on. My brain is only so big.

-Sending lots of love and warm hugs from the bedtime ponderer, Miss KeyRey.

I've got the temperature of my bedroom set to just below freezing. I'm bundled in my many layers of warm, fuzzy blankets. I ordered some ramen takeout for dinner and have taken a nice, long shower. I'm going to let my laptop die because I know I'll be too lazy to put it on charge. Using your weaknesses in a smarter way? Hell yeah. I think I'm ready to try this whole 'sleeping' thing once again. Or whatever you call it.

How many tags is too many?