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mywritingonlyfans · 3 years

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Angst fic with Damiano David

prompt: a angsty about reader being sad (dami bff) 'cause damiano doesn't feel the same way romantically. ps. there's a lot of victoria de angelis being a angel in this fic, and it's basically about reader going through it.

warnings: none? it's just a bit sad and longer than usual.

All the soft touches still tingled all over your body. His scent was until now stuck to you, you never thought you’d feel happy to have woody essence along with cigarette smoke on you.

Folding the sleeve of his sweater, you put your tea in one of the cups you always use when you were there. His cotton piece was comfortable, making you didn't regret wearing it in the morning; it was cold and wearing your tank top from the night before didn't feel right. The shorts from yesterday, that were making your legs freeze were enough trouble for you to handle. The remnants of your clothes and belongings were collected from the floor of his room and placed carefully on his headboard, you made sure you were being quiet. Damiano has always been a heavy sleeper, but your counscious prevented you from risking disturbing him when he looks so peaceful. You had already spent much time at his place so you memorized where every thing in his kitchen - and others rooms - was; baking eggs and making tea wasn’t a mystery for you. You had even separated a Tylenol tablet for Damiano, so he could have it with his tea when he woke up with a wicked hangover. He wasn't the type to get drunk and forget what he did, nor were you. Since when you were teenagers, you have gone out and been drunk together a lot of times, and although your feelings were already present, nothing never happened. This time, however, alcohol helped injecting a dose of courage on him. Being honest with yourself, you didn't remember who started it; but the kiss in the midst of the loud music, his hand on the back of your neck, the exchanging glances while dancing and the moment he took you home, they were pretty vividly in your mind. You still felt relaxed, as if his sweaty body was still over yours. Minutes with your eyes closed was enough to feel his eyes roaming your body all over again.

“Hi,” he said in a slurred voice, cutting off your line of thoughts. You jumped, briefly scared but soon turned your attention to reality; a tired Damiano scratching his eyes in front of you.

He was dressed, wearing sweatpants and sweatshirt, duly comfortable according to the weather.

“Headache?” You knew he was. He was always a good drinker, he put up with it a lot, but he was never one to get rid of the effects of alcohol on the next day. You, on the other hand, got on better with this issue; fortunately from the night before, only the good moments remained with you.

“Yeah, a bit,” he giggled. “What a night, I’d say.” He added, in a lower tone. What was acceptable, you also felt a bit weird to be in front of him.

“I got you some pills,” you pointed it out to him on the counter, trying to maintain a normal behavior; with no shacking voice or sweaty hands. Quite impossible. “I made tea too.”

“Dear God, you’re a life saver!” He smiled at you, eyes crinkled and all of his perfect teeth on display. Contagious.

You grinned, feeling your body getting lighter. “No worries. I’m glad to help.”

“Y’know, when I woke up and saw that you weren't there I thought you were gone. You know? Friendship destroyed and that whole thing. I’m happy to see you; relieved.” He took a sip of his tea, and maybe a bit of your heart with it. You were an explosion of feeling when it comes to him, you always have been. “That sweater looks good on you, you can keep it if you want. You know that’s my fave one.” And, yeah, you knew.

The tension on you was no longer intense, comforting you to let out the breath you were holding. “It’s good to hear that,” Your genuine smile managed to say many things, you wished Damiano had noticed you earlier on other occasions. “Do you remember that one time, when we were younger, that you were a bit crazy about a girl; Alice was his name.” You stopped; in need of air - nervous - and watched Dami's attentive face. “She was the first person to whom you dedicated a song, you played it to her at school break. The cutest thing I had ever seen. I think it was there that I realized, a little jealous—“

“Y/N,” his voice had been almost inaudible, causing no effect. Had he really tried?

“How in love I was with you.”

His face was paler than usual, he was paralyzed; speechless. You had never seen Damiano like this, the men was always all over the place in a sweet talkative mess.

It took a few minutes for you to be able to read his expressions and realize how fucked up you were. The dose of happiness in your blood had been able to manipulate you to believe in what you most wanted to happen.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” your blood had gone up to your ears, all you could pay attention to was the pressure in your head. How had you thought that after one specific night he would suddenly decide that he was in love with you? After all of this time that you were just a good friend for him? “I’m truly sorry but I’m don’t—“

“Feel the same way?” You finished. He nodded, apprehensively. You have never felt so stupid. It was a mixture of shame, fear and insecurity. You were unable to look directly at him, you knew that there was no change in following a friendship after what you just said, much less after the night before. You had never been so screwed.

“I’m the one who should be apologizing, I shouldn’t have said a thing.” You whispered, realizing that the lump in your throat had turned into tears that you didn't even know were running down your face.

“Come here,” he opened his arms, walking towards your emotionless frame. You allowed yourself to melt in his grip.

Your tears fell freely; you could even try to hold it back but there was no strength left for you to think about it. Your crying was silent, as was the kitchen room. Your head was full of questions and cursing at yourself. Suddenly you wished Damiano had yelled at you, asked you to get out of there or said he wouldn't never speak to you again. It seemed easier to deal with it in this alternative way than to have him comforting you for loving him. “Shh, it’ll alright. I could never be mad at you.”

He talked about your friendship, but you knew that nothing would end up well. Maybe for him. But for you? It’d not be that easy. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I should have known better, you were so loving with me last night that I thought— Fuck, we slept together. Which I know isn’t your fault because I don’t even remember who—“

“Stop, Y/N. Look at me,” He was being careful. You were making a person like Damiano calculate his words, that made you feel like pure shit. You stopped talking, looking at him was still difficult. He understood that you wouldn’t be doing so. “That’s fine. I don’t feel bad about you liking me in that way, you’re wonderful. I don't regret anything, last night was great, but I just... don't feel the same. I’d never do anything to hurt you. I can't even imagine how hard it’s being for you right now.” His words sounded sweet and sincere. He had tears in his eyes as well. His ability to be so empathetic to everyone was something you loved the most about him. He was probably killing himself on the inside for breaking you.

You nodded, leaning on the counter. You wanted to ask him if he remembered that he was your first kiss at the age of seven or all the times he sent you vinyl records with some message - that he had written himself - inside the cover. How did he not feel the same, shouldn't you be everything he wanted?

“Dami?” You sighed. Your eyes were red, your face probably swollen. You then looked straight at him; that surprisingly wasn’t much better than you. “Have you ever looked at me and seen me in another way? Something more than just your best friend?”

He didn’t say a thing, just look at you standing there. You get it.

“I think I should go,” You broke the silence that had been formed. You thought about taking his sweater off, but since you weren't wearing anything underneath, you thought it was better not; you’d have to go to his room to change, and then pick up your things only to delay your leaving.

“I can drive you home,” he said in a hush, looking for his car keys.

“It’s okay, a walk will be fine.”

“It’s fucking freezing outside, I can't let you walk over there like that.”

You ignored what he said, walking around the house to the front exit. He tried to grab your arm just for you to step back.

“I know you're just trying to help, but I need to be alone right now, without you near me.” You tried to say it in the most normal way possible, you didn't want to be mean, you only wanted to be fair to yourself.

“Sure.” It was the last thing you heard him say before you left, feeling the cold wind on your body. You didn't know if he had entered his house again or if he was watching you hug yourself as walking slowly to somewhere. You wouldn't dare to look back.

--------------------------------------------------------

“C’mon girl, get up here,” Upon hearing the husky, strong voice, you were relieved.

Victoria wasn’t wearing her usual jewelry and looked like she had just been woken up by force. You weren’t as close to her as you were with the other boys, however, you had never been so happy to see her.

You got in her car. “Thank you,”

“God, you look terrible. You’re fine?” You looked at your reflection in the rearview mirror and well, fine was definitely something you didn't look like.

“Dami asked you to come and get me?” Your throat was scratching, it was difficult to speak.

“Yeah,” she looked at you quickly, but due to your discomfort she backed off. More tears would come. “He didn't say why though, he just said he needed someone to come to you before you froze to death.” She said it in a way that made you laugh, even with your eyes filled with tears. “Did the two of you have a disagreement? You don't have to answer me if you don't want to.”

“Something similar.” You said shakily; due to your crying and chilly. Inside the car was heated, but your body was so cold that it didn't seem to be enough. You tried to snuggle in the passenger seat, letting your head rest against the window like in a sad film. Maybe that’d help.

“Here,” she handed you a coat, without hesitation you took it. “I brought it to you in case you needed it.”

You nodded slowly. “Thank you, Victoria,”

“You can call me Vic, just like everyone else,” she laughed.

You gave her a half smile. “Okay then, thank you very much, Vic,”

The rest of the day would be crying while you curled up in your bed, you’d let yourself feel at your worst; promising that you would try and change that the next day.

———----------------------------------------------

You expected the first few days to be the hardest, but it seemed to get worse with each passing day. Damiano had tried to call you a few times and in all of them you responded dryly, using short words, pretending it’d be okay. You truly tried, but you needed time to process what happened. You told him that, and then time he gave you.

After completing a month of the incident, you noticed how 'dependent' you had become on him. He was always around since you were kids, any problem you had you would look for him to talk to, now you felt like you had nothing. Your friends were friends of his, too, more of his friends than yours. You missed having Thomas failing on teaching you how to play guitar on your couch and besides you thought about calling him - just to distract yourself - you remembered that he was more a friend of Damiano than yours. It’d be weird. None of them contacted you at that time, not even Thomas. You couldn't figure it out if Dami had told them what happened and they decided to give you space or if they just didn't care about you when you wasn’t around Damiano.

Basically, where Dami was you would be and vice versa. It had always been like that.

When you saw that just time wasn’t solving anything, you programmed yourself to live in a way that you were busy all the time. Your routine became work, home and most of the time taking the work to be done also in your home. You didn't feel energized to make new friends, and going out on dates could help momentarily but it wouldn't be fair to go out with someone in the ‘mood’ you were in; then these ideas were soon discarded. Sleeping was impossible, you spent hours rolling over in bed; both for the flashbacks that plagued your mind, but also for the fact that you missed him. The nights were worse when you visit your mother or when she called and said, "Dami never came to see me again." or something like. “Are you still talking to each other? We don't let someone like Damiano leave our lives.”

Deep down, you knew there was no way you could be in love with him forever and that no matter how much it hurt at that moment it would pass. You started to repeat it to yourself as much as you could, so when the boys got in touch with you again you didn't hesitate to answer. Nothing bad would happen, you just need to pretend to be fine. The first to send you a message was Thomas, with simple questions, he acted like nothing had happened, you liked it. Even though it was obvious that Thomas, as one of his boys, would know this in more detail than you did (which was a lie, but at least he knew how Damiano was feeling about it, which you wouldn't know). He updated you about Dami, who was great as always, and you said you were doing well when he asked. You answering him made Ethan talk to you too, although they were all polite and delicate, they seemed more to be sorry than to miss you. Pity wasn’t something you were expecting.

After five months, you still felt like crap. You had tried to stop counting the days that had passed since you last saw Damiano, but it was almost impossible. You could still remember that night vividly, but you were still trying your best to move on; leave it behind. Mysteriously, you wanted to see him, see how he was doing and find out if he had anything else to say but you were afraid to see him, go back to your place as his best friend just to realize that your feelings for him had not abated at all.

“...I haven't seen you in a while. I wonder if you're alright,” you heard when answering your phone. Your head hurt, your eyes stung. You had slept on spreadsheets that you brought home from your work.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Shit,” she murmured.

You looked at the phone screen. “Sorry Vic, I just woke up I'm still trying to copy.” You laughed to calm her down.

“I thought I didn't have my number,” her voice became softer, as if she was relieved that you had saved it. “I didn't want to wake you up, I'm sorry about that. I just wanted to know how you‘re doing, since I used to see you almost every day, y’know?”

You thought about saying that you saved her number the day Dami called to pick him up at a bar since his phone battery was dead and he was in no condition to drive, but Victoria clearly knew that. “Is Dami with you?”

“No,” her tone matched yours; Dami had told her, now she was being careful with her words. “I saved your number the day Dami needed to call you, in case I needed to call you again.”

“That’s alright, thanks for checking on me then.”

“But he would love to talk to you. He always asks the boys about you or comments on you so that someone can bring you up to the convo. He seems a bit lost when you not ‘round to be honest.”

Somehow hearing that made you happy. Still, the image of discomfort whenever you thought of talking to him scared you. The phone line was filled with silence, until Victoria's husky voice filled the line.

“Anyway, I didn't call you to talk about Damiano. We finally finished the album and decided to have a small celebration at my house,” you giggle at the formality. “We thought you should go, since you were present in more than half of the process. I‘d like you to come. We’d all like you to come.”

———

Your heart accelerated with each step you took as you entered Victoria's house. The rooms had a glow of being calm and the music that was playing helped to make the place cozy. The instrumental of the band reminded you of Fleetwood Mac, and for the little that you knew Vic you would say that the type of sound reminded you of her.

Her house wasn’t crowded, there were only a few people around; some you’ve seen before, some you haven’t. You thundered your fingers over some vinyl that were arranged in a corner, pretending to read them. You were looking for familiar faces, honestly even for Damiano, but for some unknown reason you didn't want to make that obvious. Your eyes captured Thomas talking to some girls, and soon you felt relieved to be dressed according to the occasion; or at least according to the girls who were close to Thomas. It didn't take long until he noticed you standing there, you waved and he came to you. He looked surprised, still he didn't wait for you to say anything else, just wrapped you in his arms so tight you had to ask him to let go in between muffled laughter.

“Vic working miracles! Come, I'll take you to the others.” He said in his cute form, holding your hand as guiding you through the house. “So, how's our best girl?”

Your lips parted in a smile. “I’m alright, pretty much the same to be honest,” there was no time for him to ask another question because you soon spotted Ethan and Victoria with their beers in hands. They seemed to be shocked to see you as well; and it was starting to irritate you for reasons you couldn't explain. Thomas put you behind him, hiding you from the two of them as if they hadn't seen you already. He was being such a sweetheart that he had even managed to soften the anxious butterflies in your stomach; but not enough to keep your mind free of worries and Damiano David. Thomas made a funny noise with his hands as Ethan ignored his attempt to be amusing, pulling you into a hug. Who would have thought you would have missed them so much.

“How long without seeing you, I force you not to do that again. Without you we are just another disorganized mess.” You laughed at his nonsense. Your smile was sincere, like it hadn't been for months, still you were forcing yourself a bit more to appear to be actually 'fine'. You’d like to know if they noticed, even though you were appreciating that they didn’t.

“No worries, I‘m not planning on leaving you guys alone.”

Ethan and Thomas started to discuss about something, Ethan was already under the effect of alcohol, and from time to time they asked for your opinion on how Victoria had been strangely quiet. Atypical of her, but she didn't seem to be out of place or uncomfortable, just quiet.

“Did a cat eat the tongue of my newest attractive friend?”

“Not this time,” she showed you her tongue, and then smirked. Her eyes shone in differently way under your gaze and her make up was making her look more mature. “Are you feelin’ good? Thank you for coming.” Victoria was happy to see you, you could feel that. She might be curious, but pity wasn’t something possible to see in her; different from the other boys. “You must be tired of hearing that question, I'm sorry. It‘ll no longer be asked.”

Her voice was soft, comfortable to hear. “I appreciate that. I really have heard a lot of that, but despite everything, I feel good ‘bout bein’ here.”

“I feel even happier that you came then,” she put her hand gently on your waist. The other two didn't even remember you and Vic were there. “Let's get you something to drink, we bought that red drink Damiano always says you love.”

“No way, it’s bishop cocktail?” You looked at her, a big grin on your face, even though you remembered that this was the drink you were drinking when the universe decided it would be a good idea for you and Dami to have a one-night stand. Just a lovely reminder. “Have you mixed everything up? like the rum with the red wine? or with red drink you just want to say you bought wine?” You asked, ignoring your internal conflicts. Everything would be fine, you ket repeating to yourself.

“In fact, I remember once hearing you comment you didn't mind it being mixed up in a random bottle.”

She pulled a glass bottle out of a bucket full of ice and you couldn't believe she remembered that; given that you could count on your fingers the times that you had actually spoken to her. You didn’t avoid each other, just didn’t have much of the opportunities.

“Oh my god, that’s so fuckin’ lovely.” You whispered. She was quick to pick up a glass and hand it to you, filling it with the so well remembered liquid. You took a sip, and the taste - or alcohol - made your butterflies calmer. “Thanks for that, tastes like heaven.” She took a glass for herself, by her expression she thought it was a waste of rum. “C’mon, it’s not that bad.”

“If you think so, who am I to deny.”

“Don’t be a bummer,” you bumped your shoulder with hers, eliciting a cute sound from her that made you laugh as well.

You wish that sensation had lasted longer, even so when a random girl approached you to ask something, you felt heavy; like a sign. Her hair was golden in perfect waves and her face was angelic in an almost divine way. You might have been overreacting, but she was the type to catch all the attention to herself.

“You’re Y/N, right? I was startin’ to think that I’d never get to know you.” She hugged you tight and you wondered if she really didn't know you. When she released you, you felt your heart breaking right there in front of her. She was wearing Dami's sweater; the same one from that night, the same one that you wore. You wanted to be wrong, but you’d know that sweater from a distance even after years. “He talks so much about you. Can you believe we never met?” She asked, alternating her gaze between you and Victoria. She had been silent, you had forgotten that she was still there. Your head was miles away in thoughts, making you dizzy.

“Hi, Bella,” Victoria said. You remembered that name. Damiano talked about her on a few occasions, anyways he didn't seem to be in love - or you just didn’t want to see that. Maybe you haven’t been able to read him due to your stupid passion. “How’s everything?”

She started talking to Victoria and you couldn't concentrate on listening; all the alcohol in the world would not ease what you were feeling. How long have they been together? What was so special about her that Damiano gives her his favorite sweater? Were they together when you slept together? How did she end up with the same sweater you slept in that day?

She held the cup that was in your hands and handed it to Victoria. “Are you okay, hon’? You look a lil’ unwell. Do you want me to get you some water?”

“No need, I’m alright,” she patted your arm, and then checked your temperature. She was being nice, yet you couldn't pretend to be interested in being there anymore.

Thankfully, Victoria put an arm around your shoulders, asking if you want to join her to have a smoke. “It’ll be good, fresh air will do good to you.”

You agreed. Bella was worried and you felt bad about having to run away from her. She looked like an incredible person, sure Damiano was lucky to have her, that was just too much for you.

“Do this, you will feel better. We can talk later and so you can tell me everything about you and Dami, I’d love to hear you, since you’ve known each other for so long.” You looked for some irony in her voice, but you didn't found it. She was interested in you; after all, you were her boyfriend's best friend. It made sense.

Victoria guided you to the balcony, or at least halfway to it. Midway, someone stopped to talk to her, she tried to dismiss the person, however, as it was a thing related to the album, she would have no way out. “Victoria, it’s fine, I need some time alone.” You whispered to her, patting on her arm. She looked at you reluctantly, but understand. There wouldn't be much she could do for you.

Entering the balcony you felt an absurd urge to cry, your eyes itched and your legs were trembling. Was being in love meant to hurt this much, or was it just a game of chance?

You tried to take a deep breath, ease your heartbeats, telling yourself it was okay. You just needed to calm down. You leaned your body against the wall and watched the place. The plants near the fence - which you didn't know how Victoria had time to take care of them - the streets, and then the sky. Starry and moist, made for good memories that wouldn't come to you. When you felt ready enough to go out and face the party again, you ran into the one you were trying to avoid, Dami. Minutes ago you were anxious with the possibility to see him to know how he was, now you just wanted to run away and wipe these last months out of your mind.

“Y/N,” his body collided with yours while his arms wrapped around you, it was supposed to be a good thing, that you‘d feel safe as the same way you used to feel, except that was uncomfortable now. You couldn't even respond to his hug, for a second you thought you would escape without having to see him. He noticed and gave you space. “I swore that you wouldn't come. My god, it's so good to see you.” He ran his hands through his hair and you remained paralyzed in front of him.

You tried to focus on your breathing so that your voice came out without too many complications. “Yeah... It's good to see you, you look great.” It didn't work, your voice was shaky making your lie sound even worse. He looks great, you didn't lie, he seemed even happier and well rested. You wondered if it was because the album was ready or because now he had Bella.

You forced a smile, but unlike the others, Damiano knew you were acting. He didn’t judge or question, his face became tense, apprehensive. He knew that nothing was right.

“I thought about callin’ you more, goin’ to see you or something. The boys convinced me that it‘d be better not, that it could be even hard for you. I wonder if I shouldn't have done something different to help you because I know I fucked up too.” His hands were undecided between running through his hair and staying inside his pockets. He was nervous, at the same relieved to have spoken to you.

“It wasn't your fault, I’d never blame you for that,” you sighed, smiling slightly. It felt terrible to make him feel that way about it, but there wasn't much you could do. “I'm glad you gave me space when I asked, it's still hard to see you or think about talkin’ to you. It is as if everything that is tormenting me comes all at once.” It was good to say that to him. He nodded and you looked at each other for a while. It wasn't as uncomfortable as you thought it would be.

He was a few feet away from you while you were admiring the night, with your back against the wall. You wanted to leave, maybe go cry in your bed until you fell asleep, still you wanted things to work out with Dami, you wanted that tension and fear of seeing him to get out of your head. Despite that, if it was necessary to suffer in that process, it would not be worth it.

“She’s amazing,” it hurt to say that, but it was the truth. “Bella’s amazing, lucky girl.” You smiled sadly. Saying her name and seeing Dami smiling at that made you thank God for not seeing the two of them together, hugging or kissing. He‘d probably put his hand on her waist while she was talking to one of his friends or giving lightly kisses to her temple, just because he felt like it. Damiano was the cute type, you've seen it before.

“She is, an amazing person. She was all happy to have spoken to you. I told her all about our teenage years and how you always supported the band,” He had told her about you, would he have told her about you being in love with him? You thought to ask, soon giving up. It’d be shameful if so. “If I knew you would be here I’d not have come with her.” It made you think that he had told her.

“What would you do? Would you hide me from her for the rest of your life?” You sighed. it was supposed to sound like a joke, regrettably your voice sounded too cruel for that.

“It’s not like that,” he mumbled. “I was just tryin’ to think of you and—“

“I think I need to go Dami, it’s being too much. I’m sorry.” You needed to get out of there, you couldn't stop the tears anymore and you knew it was a bad idea to talk about her with him.

You took a few steps back just for Damiano to grab at your arm, without putting strength, just like a few months ago, to stop you in front of him. You turned your face away from looking at his eyes, feeling as the tears run down your cheek. You'd never be able to face him, this situation was only proving that to you even more.

“Please, Y/N. Just tell me what I need to do. I will do anything for you to talk to me again. I need you, you know that. The past few weeks have been a mess without you around. Even little my mom misses you. I’d do anything to have you back like before.” He was about to cry, his eyes shone with tears and it was painful to watch. He could do anything for you to stay; except what would make you stay. Unfortunately, it didn't depend only on his good will.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do this,” you said in a lack of air, signaling the space around you with your finger. “But this, this is too much. It kills me to have to be close to you or to be close to things or people that remind me of you, seeing someone else with you doesn't help at all. I still think about the fact that we slept together... I can’t just forget it ‘cause it meant so much to me and to you, to you? it was nothing.” You were out of breath, you just wanted to cry in peace, put everything out until there was nothing left.

He released his hands of you, his face red and damp. It wasn't going to be easy for either of you. Time wouldn't matter; it wouldn’t change a thing because whenever you looked at him you’d wonder about how things could have been like if he had chosen you.

He whispered one more time that he was sorry, then let you go. He could have stopped you, but it's not like he knew what to do anymore.

He watched as you walk out without even looking back.

——-

You went through the party walking fast, avoiding acquaintances and questions about why you were like that. Your body was heavy as well as your conscience. Outside the house the street was empty, the streetlights illuminated the sidewalk and along with the silence of the street you felt invited to sit there. You brought your knees close to your body, trying to breathe calmly. Pulling the air in, and then releasing it in a normal way. Your heart was beating so fast that your whole body was agitated. You tried to stay still. You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling a little dizzy when you saw someone walk out the front door of the house. You dropped your knees, trying to look decent, but gave up as soon as the person came closer to you and you saw that it was Victoria. She sat next to you, pulling you into a hug. You were happy that she went to you.

“I’m fine,” you murmured, hugging her waist and hiding your face in the fabric of her shirt.

“Stop saying that you’re fine when you’re far from being fine, I won’t judge you sweetheart,” she comforted you, giving you a extra squeezing. You were far from being alright, but it helped, having someone there helped.

She placed her chin on top of your head, soothing you until your crying softened. She rubbed your back and whispered that it’d be okay.

“Did Damiano send you here?”

“No, darlin’. He said that you had talked, and then you had to leave, he didn't look well, I thought you wouldn't be either.”

“And then you decided to look out for me?” You laughed, still tucked in her warm arms.

“Yep, sounds like you need me, don’t you think?” She laughed too, causing the vibration of her chest next to yours make you feel taken in.

“Why’s love so painful?”

Victoria didn't answer, she was thoughtful for a few minutes, and then she stood up, holding out her hand for you.

“What?”

“I won’t be taking no as an answer, you’ll get in the car with me and we will do something, anything, drink milk shakes, fill up our bellies with pizza ‘til we can't take it anymore, or even rob a bank.” She held you by the waist, lifting you up for her. “Please,”

You didn't see why not to accept. There was nothing worse that could get even worse at the moment, maybe going somewhere would do you good. “Even rob a bank?” She nodded, pointing to where her car was.

A smile spreading across her lovely face as you realized you’d go anywhere she wanted with her. “Yes, even robbing a bank.”

#damiano david #damiano david x reader #måneskin #victoria de angelis #victoria de angelis x reader #damiano david fanfiction #damiano imagine #damiano angst #maneskin #fanfic #fiction #imagines #maneskin x reader #writing

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fruitcoops · 3 years

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Night Changes

This isn't based on an ask, but I've had some early-Cap ideas brewing and think about the first time the team heard him laugh a lot. His and James' friendship is so sweet in SW--the beginning of it must have been such a shock to them both. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

So maybe James had bitten off more than he could chew. It wasn’t the first time, to be sure, but coaxing (read: drag kicking and screaming) his new teammate out of the carefully-constructed mosaic of scowls that made up his entire personality was proving to be a little more challenging than he previously expected. With most rookies, all it took was some elbow grease and overenthusiastic inclusion in group events to get them to open up—with his brand-new soon-to-be best friend, he had to handle things a little more delicately.

Sirius Black was a puzzle wrapped up in one of those freaky code-breaking machines from World War Two Lily liked to talk about. He was one of the best hockey players James had ever seen, but off the ice he seemed to shut down. The intense focus on his face smoothed out into almost perfect neutrality, and in the four months since he joined the Lions, he had never once smiled for real in front of the team. He sat in his stall and padded up in silence, then went out and kicked ass before following Pascal home like a living shadow.

Naturally, James took it as a personal mission to pry Sirius Black’s closed-off persona open like a stubborn oyster. He tried including Sirius in group events—the rookie went along with a quiet “yeah, sure”, but sat at the table and nursed a single drink for the entire night. He tried getting into friendly banter with him on the ice, but it was like Sirius had never joked with anyone in his life. Hell, he even tried finding him a girlfriend, which tanked harder than the goddamn Titanic.

“Rookie!” James shouted down the hallway.

Sirius jumped and turned around, obviously confused. “Me?”

“Yes, you,” James laughed, jogging over to toss an arm over his shoulders. “What’s up?”

“Not much.”

He waited for Sirius to continue, then rolled his eyes and gave him a friendly shake. “C’mon, man, how was your weekend? Has Dumo coerced you into being a stay-at-home babysitter yet?”

Sirius’ frown deepened. “What? I come with him to practice every day.”

Change tactics, change tactics— “Got any plans for Friday?”

James knew the answer, of course; it was always no or not yet or a simple shake of the head. If he was a less observant man, he would have assumed Sirius didn’t actually want to hang out with the team. But the longing looks toward their easy rhythm and the way he always tilted himself toward locker room conversations told a different story. “None yet,” Sirius said with a shrug.

James gave him a friendly slap on the back. “Good, ‘cause I’m having a party at my place and you’re not allowed to miss it.”

“Why not?”

“Because I want you to be there, duh.” The bewilderment didn’t fade from Sirius’ face, but beneath it—well, maybe James was just seeing things, but he looked almost hopeful. He ruffled Sirius’ hair and headed for the locker room. “Friday at five, rookie! I’ll be waiting!”

The week passed in a slog of practices and cold weather. Sirius clammed up more and more as the party drew closer, but James didn’t miss the way his eyes flickered between the rest of them like he was analyzing a play. He would make one hell of a captain someday, if he could just relax a little.

“Hey, rookie, want a ride?” he asked when the big day finally arrived.

“Don’t you want to go home and set up first?” Sirius’ brow furrowed. For an eighteen-year-old kid, he was awfully thoughtful. James couldn’t wait to see him let loose a little. “I wouldn’t want to get in your way.”

“It’s a yes or no question,” he teased, poking the bit of exposed shoulder through the widening hole in Sirius’ under armor.

“I…” He faltered, then the corner of his mouth twitched up. It was the closest thing James had seen to a smile from him yet. One point for Potter. “Sure, Pots. Thanks.”

“No problem. Meet me at my car in five or so, yeah?”

“D’accord.”

“Oho, fancy French,” James laughed, turning back to unlace his skates.

It wasn’t until thirty seconds after Sirius left the room that he remembered he never told the rookie what his car looked like. Horrible, terrible visions of the poor guy wandering around the parking lot—or, god forbid, thinking James had left without him—flashed through his mind. It would undo everything he had been working so hard to build.

“Shit,” he hissed under his breath as he shoved his gear into his duffel with reckless abandon and hurried out of the locker room. His legs would be stiff from trying to run so soon after a grueling drill practice, but it was worth it to save his friend. “Rookie? Hey, Sirius, you still here?”

There was no response. James cursed again and made a beeline for the door to the parking lot. Please, God, don’t let him get lost. I need him to trust me.

“Oh, thank fuck,” he panted as he burst out onto the half-frozen concrete.

Sirius looked up from his phone with a strange expression. “Are you okay?”

“Thought I lost you for a sec.”

“You said to meet at your car, yes?” He glanced between James and the car in sudden worry.

“Yeah, yes, absolutely, I just—” He made an aborted gesture and dug his keys out of his pocket. “I realized I forgot to tell you which one is mine.”

Sirius blinked at him. “I know what your car looks like.”

“How?”

“Because you drive it here every single day and you gave me a ride three weeks ago.”

‘Dumbass’ went unsaid, but James could feel it hanging in the air. He coughed lightly. “Right. Anyway, you can toss your bag wherever and hop in the passenger seat. My place isn’t far from here.”

Sirius took his duffel as he unlocked the car and settled both in the trunk with more care than James’ poor, battered bag had ever seen in its life. That was another thing that confused him about Sirius Black—he was so careful. He walked quietly for someone so tall, and each movement seemed pre-planned.

Each movement, that is, until he tried to get in the car. “Uh, Pots?”

“That’s m—oh.” James covered his mouth to stifle his laughter as Sirius tried to fold himself into the passenger seat and failed miserably. “I’m sorry, my girlfriend was sitting there last. Uh, there’s a lever on your right—yeah, there, just give it a pull and—”

With a harsh ka-chunk, the seat slid all the way back. Both men froze. It took everything in James’ power not to burst out laughing at the deer-in-headlights shock on Sirius’ face.

“Yep, that one,” he managed. “Nice job.”

They drove in relative quiet—James chattered on about weekend plans and hummed to the radio while Sirius watched out the window with the occasional monosyllable response. It took James a bit by surprise how comfortable he was, even without a steady stream of banter. Sirius might have been stubborn and silent and determined to foil all James’ plans at getting him to socialize, but he was calming to be near, like an anchor on unsteady water. Despite his overall quiet air, he was obviously paying attention to every word that left James’ mouth.

“You’re a good guy, y’know that?” he said as they turned onto his street. Sirius glanced over in surprise. “Most people tune me out within, like, five minutes.”

“I’m a good listener.”

James opened his mouth to respond, then paused. “Was that—Sirius Black, was that a joke?”

Something akin to mischief—mischief!—crossed his face. “Maybe.”

“Were you roasting me?” James gaped at him. “Oh my god. The guys are never gonna believe this.”

“Probably not.”

“You sick bastard. They won’t believe me.”

“You can give it a shot,” Sirius said with a shrug as the engine turned off. Pieces began to connect in James’ head as he stared, incredulous, at the rookie he thought would never even crack a smile. Four months of work had not been wasted, as he had feared; every joke, every one-sided conversation, and every attempt to get Sirius involved had been seen and heard and taken to heart. When he thought about it, he wasn’t sure he had ever seen Sirius actively agree to something unless James asked personally.

“We’re friends,” he said aloud, too surprised and too happy to hold it in. Not friends in the way James was with the rest of their loud, over-the-top teammates, but friends all the same.

“Well, yeah,” Sirius said as if it was obvious.

James unbuckled his seatbelt and socked him lightly on the shoulder, barely suppressing a shriek of excitement. “Love you, man. Grab your shit, we’ve got a party to set up.”

----------------

As much as it pained James to say it, having someone around who was six-foot-three was a huge help. There was no blow to his pride as he dragged Lily’s stepstool out; no grudging acceptance that he simply couldn’t reach those last two inches on the wall. Instead, he could foist any and all responsibility on his brand-new best friend in the whole wide world and focus on the things that mattered, like putting anything breakable or important far away from the grubby hands of his inebriated teammates.

His success was still ringing in his ears when the guests finally arrived—throughout the evening, James rode the high of accomplishing his mission to pull Sirius Black into his tight-knit circle. Every minute of those four months was worth it.

Midnight came and went, and by one-thirty in the morning James’ cramped living room was packed with tipsy hockey players in a vague imitation of a circle. “Non, non, I’ve gotta good one,” Dumo said, hiccupping. The room fell quiet as he leaned forward. “What do you call a body of water with a chicken in it?”

“What?” Kasey whispered, starry-eyed like a kid at Christmas.

“A swimming pool.”

The room stayed quiet, and then someone started to laugh. Slowly, they all turned to the source of the noise, and James felt a ripple of shock roll through the team as Sirius snorted. “It’s a swimming pool,” he said around a smile, his accent thick from three drinks. He had a nice laugh; James could get used to hearing it. “Like—poule, like chicken?”

His whole face was alight with happiness. James wasn’t sure whether to cry or cheer. That’s what I’ve been waiting for, he thought. That look, right there. Sirius fit in among the group like a missing piece of their puzzle, snickering away as if he hadn’t been stoically silent a day in his life. His laugh was downright bubbly.

“I don’t think they get it,” Dumo said into the rim of his cup.

Sirius shook his head, trying to catch his breath. “D’accord, so—so ‘chicken’ in French is poule, yeah? So a chicken in a body of water is a swimming poule. Do you get it now?”

A few oh’s of understanding washed over them, but several people continued to stare. “Too drink for this,” Sergei grumbled, though James could see the smile pulling at his mouth as Sirius turned to him with bright eyes.

“But it’s funny!” Sirius protested, so earnest it made James’ heart hurt.

“I think it’s funny, rookie,” he assured him with a clumsy pat on the arm. “And it’s my house, so I say Dumo gets a point this round.”

Kasey hiccupped. “Hey, anyone who makes the rookie laugh gets points in my book. No offense, dude.”

“None taken,” Sirius said, though his cheeks were pink.

James nudged him with his shoulder as Talker started a knock-knock joke. “It’s okay,” he said under his breath.

Sirius picked at the label on his cup. “I know I haven’t been very social,” he muttered.

“It’s okay,” James insisted. “It always takes rookies a while to warm up, so we’re just glad you’re happy. I’m glad my best friend is having a good time at my party.”

A heavy silence fell between them as Sirius looked over, eyebrows raised. “Best friend?”

“What, like you didn’t see this coming?” James slung an arm over his shoulder. “Yes, you French-Canadian nerd, you’re my best friend. And that means I’m your best friend, and there’s no take-backsies.”

“What the hell is a take-backsie?” Sirius laughed. “Did you make that up?”

James grinned. He had the feeling this was the beginning of an excellent friendship.

#sirius black #james potter #pascal dumais #kasey winter #sergei ivanov #thomas walker #rookie #sweater weather #lumosinlove #my fic #fanfic #pre-cap #friendship

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yoonpobs · 3 years

Text

bad boy good thing xiii.

pairing: jeon jungkook x oc

genre: angst, smut, fluff, miscommunication (we hate her lol), pining

warnings: smut, jungkook is really an asshole, the angst hurts a lot tbh, unhealthy relationships (?)

words: 5, 635

summary: a series of drabbles where you're confused and jungkook's confusing

a/n:

hello friends!!! here is the next update :D i hope you enjoy the read! it's been a v long week for me so it's nice to just unwind hehe. thank you for the support & love you all!!!!

“Are you going to just … stare at me?” Jungkook clears his throat as his eyes dart anywhere but forward. It was less uncomfortable that way.

The two people in front of him don’t flatter him with an immediate response, instead; they stare him down harder until Jungkook can quite literally feel the stare of their eyes burning a hole into his forehead. He nearly shrinks into his seat, but he manages to pull a somewhat neutral expression even if he was on the verge of a meltdown.

“Maybe.” Jimin retorts snappishly.

Jungkook knew Jimin would be the pettier one between the two, but again; it’s not unwarranted. So he sucks it up like a big boy and nods his head slowly in understanding.

However, Taehyung was a different situation. His blank face was already intimidating as it is and Jungkook’s known him ever since the two of them were in middle school. More often than not people mistook him for cold and disinterested, whereas he usually just got lost in his thoughts.

But it’s obvious when Taehyung doesn’t like someone. He doesn’t put up a front to pretend that things are dandy and that he vibes with you. No, Taehyung’s blank face returns and it’s tenfold. But Jungkook knew it wasn’t just that, that resulted in the permanent vacant expression etched onto his expression—it’s paired with the fact that Jungkook’s an idiot and this is his punishment.

Jungkook knows better that Taehyung isn’t the type to take things head-on (like Jimin), but rather allow people to ruminate in their thoughts as he stares you down with a gaze so intense that it feels like he’s unpacking every single stray thought that passes by your mind. Jungkook is aware, but he’s never had to be on the receiving end of it.

“Are we going to, uh, order?” Jungkook asks, hands gripping the menu tightly.

Taehyung still stares, and Jimin narrows his eyes at the younger boy.

“You know ____ hasn’t arrived yet, right?” His tone is accusatory and Jungkook feels himself pale.

“I didn’t mean—okay,” He sighs in defeat, “We’ll wait.”

Jimin eyes him carefully before opting to skim through the menu. Jungkook knows it’s a front to not have to engage with him since they’ve frequented the same diner more than enough times for the waiters and waitresses to know their orders by heart. It’s been a while since they came here, and Jungkook knows that he’s partly to blame.

It sucks, sitting here in silence when he remembers that the three of them, you aside—used to engage in stupid banter and talked about the most random things like college boys do. They were his best friends, Jungkook grew up with them and he distinctly remembers always getting into trouble with the two boys until their parents only sighed every time they saw them returning home with guilty expressions ridden on their faces.

Now the banter is replaced with tense silence, but it doesn’t feel like it’s over. Jungkook hopes, at least.

Before Jungkook can say something else, he feels someone slip into the empty seat next to him.

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late.” Your voice is sweet and cheerful, and it’s nice to hear you like this again.

Jungkook looks up and sees you smiling at everyone, oblivious to the strained mood of the table before you came.

“Don’t apologise,” Taehyung says for the first time, offering you a small smile, “We were waiting for you, weren’t we?”

Jungkook stiffens, fully aware that it was directed to him. He wanted to lamely interject and say that it wasn’t what he meant, but he knew that Jimi would give him more shit for that anyway.

“You didn’t have to!” You exclaim.

Jungkook feels somewhat satisfied at the scowl that plagues Jimin’s expression, but it’s quickly covered with a beaming smile in your direction as he calls over a waiter.

“We know our orders, right?” Jimin asks.

You nod, smiling brightly; clearly excited to be here again.

And Jungkook feels nice, too. It’s nice being here, with the three of you—even if Jimin and Taehyung were still giving him the cold shoulder it was much better than pretending like everything was okay when it clearly wasn’t.

“It’s nice to be back,” You smile to yourself after the four of you order, and Jungkook can only agree.

Maybe it wasn’t so nice, after all.

Because the entire time, Jimin and Taehyung were dead-set on making Jungkook feel the guilt of his actions tenfold when they pick apart at every word he offers into the conversation.

“Have we not been here for that long? Even the interiors changed a little.”

“I don’t know, Jungkook. Who’s fault is that?” Jimin says off-handedly, unbothered to even cast him a glance.

“Wait, really? There’s a forum coming up?”

“Didn’t we all know? _____ is the one who organised it.” Surprisingly, this came from Taehyung.

“I’m stuffed.”

“With bullshit—?”

“THAT’S ENOUGH!”

Your voice is loud enough to silence the entire table and even causes a few other patrons to turn their heads in the direction of your table.

Jimin is blinking at you with wide eyes, as Taehyung only gapes at the decibel of your voice that he’s never heard from you before. Jungkook only presses himself against his seat, and subtly inches away from you.

But you turn your head towards him and shoot him a glare so venomous that he stiffens in position.

“Don’t you dare shift away from me, Jeon.” You warn threateningly.

Jungkook swallows, too stunned to move.

Then, you turn to face the two unblinking men.

“And you two,” You narrow your eyes at them menacingly, “I told you that I’d deal with this on my own so why are you the ones holding grudges?”

Jimin opens his mouth to respond, but Taehyung is nudging him with his elbows to shut up.

“I expected better from you!” You cry, “What are you guys, five? Or is that how many brain cells you have combined?” You scowl. They’re still blinking at you when you continue to fume. “No. I’m pretty sure it’s less than that because at the rate you’re acting I’m beginning to think that this fork better conversational skills than the three of you.” You hold up your utensil for good measure and the boys can only blink at you.

The last part is directed to everyone, and Jungkook can only listen to you rant as he presses himself against his seat.

“I just wanted to hang out like usual.” You flutter your eyes shut in annoyance, “I asked for one day—one day!” You exclaim, “Just to be with you guys because we haven’t done that in forever. And you couldn’t push aside whatever hostility you have towards Jungkook for this?”

You sound so disappointed, and your voice subdues out into a whisper when you glance at the table. Jimin and Taehyung had the decency to look guilty and apologetic when they realise that you were actually serious about it. Because rarely have you ever blown up, if not—ever.

“_____, we’re sorry—” Jimin begins.

“Are you?” You snap irritatedly, “I told you that I didn’t want to make things complicated and here you guys are—doing exactly that. I resolved whatever I had to with Jungkook, and let’s not pretend like he was the only one at fault here. The two of you are opening a closed book and it’s unnecessary. I just wanted to hang out with you guys and laugh about our balding lecturers, is that so much to ask for?”

“I think—” Jungkook begins, feeling slightly more confident to speak up after you’ve somewhat defended him, but the way you snap your head to him to send him a blazing look shut him up immediately.

“And don’t think you’re off the hook either,” You seethe, “Jimin and Taehyung have every right to be mad but they don’t have the right to ruin the atmosphere of our hangout right now. That doesn’t change the fact that you messed up.”

Your words are sharp, and his eyes widen when you scold him. It oddly feels like the three men were being lectured by a parent, and it’s not far off because you’ve always been the level headed one amongst the four of you anyway.

“I’m sorry, ____.” Jimin offers apologetically, but your ears are flushed for obvious reasons before you mutter an excuse to head to the bathroom.

When you storm off, the three men stare at each other unblinking for a few seconds before Taehyung breaks the silence.

“Listen,” He sighs, “Clearly, Jimin and I are pissed.”

Jungkook’s eye twitches, that’s an understatement.

“But, we have a right to be—like she said,” Taehyung continues. Jungkook doesn’t argue there, “But we care about her as much as you do, and we don’t want her to feel any more disappointed than what she had to feel for the past month. So we’ll drop it.”

“Why are you speaking on behalf of the both of you because I’m pretty sure hyung is staring at me like I’ve murdered ten kittens,” Jungkook mumbles under his breath, off-put by Jimin’s unwavering glare.

“He’s not far off.” Jimin retorts, then he sighs, relaxing his features ever so slightly to look at Jungkook with an expression much softer than what he’s received so far. “I’m disappointed in you, and I probably will be for a very long time. But … you’re still my best friend, and even if I feel like knocking you into every available surface I’m willing to push that desire aside if it means we can make ____ happy.”

Jungkook blinks.

“I …” He croaks, “I’m sorry, to the both of you. I messed up and … I really regret it.”

Taehyung offers a small smile, “You don’t have to apologise to us. It’s ___—”

“Yeah, I know.” He clears his throat. “But the two of you are my friends too and you’ve done nothing but guide me even if I acted like it annoyed me most of the times; I really appreciated the things you told me, even if I blatantly went against it.”

Jimin purses his lips, staring hard at the boy.

“I want us to be okay too, as much as I patched things up with her; you guys are my best friends as well,” Jungkook says softly.

“If ____ forgives you then …” Jimin mutters, though Jungkook can tell it comes from a good place. “I guess I can work with that.”

It’s something, Jungkook thinks.

But then you’re still not back and the three men look at each other in worry.

“I’ll go get her,” Jungkook declares, but before he can push himself up—Taehyung is stopping him with a hand and a cock of his head.

“I’ll do it.”

And when he leaves to get you, Jungkook and Jimin are left in a mini stare off, the awkward atmosphere still tense enough. Not until Jimin gestures to his face.

“Your cheek …”

Jungkook sighs.

“You know there are people who need to pee too, right?” Taehyung hums outside the cubicle. He’s sure you’re in there because he spots your sneakers through the slit, and he’s lucky enough he can because he wasn’t sure how else he’d explain him leaning outside a stall while he talks to it.

You stay silent, dabbing at your eyes with the tissue you brought in. You feel a little stupid for crying about it but you hated the atmosphere out there. It was weird and awkward and the four of you never had moments like that. You always had things to talk about or even just to laugh at each other. The silence and glares were suffocating, and you couldn’t help but feel like it was all your fault.

“I’m going to piss on the floor if you don’t open the door.” Taehyung threatens in a bored tone.

You sniff, loud enough for him to hear as you roll your eyes at his ultimatum.

“Don’t think I won’t do it, _____.” He warns, and you hear fabric rustling that has your eyes widening.

“Don’t pee on the damn floor!” You hiss.

“Then open the door.” Taehyung retorts smartly.

You scowl, glancing into the mirror one last time to ensure that your eyes weren’t as red as you hoped they to be. It comes to no avail because your eyes are puffy enough to tell him that you’ve been crying, and you knew that you couldn’t lie your way through it.

“I’m giving you five more seconds,” He calls, “Five … four … three … two—I’m about to piss—!”

You unlock the door and pull it open, and greet Taehyung with a vehement glare of your own as he smiles down at you, but only for a bit until he notices the puffiness of your eyes and the pout of your lips.

“You know it’s kind of depressing if you lock yourself up in the cubicle of a diner to cry.” He says softly, arms reaching out to bring you into an embrace.

You don’t fight him, even if you don’t make an effort to hug him back. You were sulking.

“Well that’s what happens when your best friends are acting like assholes.” You snap back in a sniffle.

He sighs, patting your head gently as he forces your arm around his waist; shooting you a stern glare that you roll your eyes at.

“You know we’re looking out for you.” He chides gently, and you feel very much like a petulant child when you huff at his response.

“I just wanted to hang out with you guys without things being weird.” You mumble against his chest.

“I know.” He hums.

“But you had to make it weird.” You complain. “What are you? A social justice warrior? I told you I could deal with it on my own.”

Taehyung chuckles, squeezing you a little tighter as you scowl into his shirt. You knew you were being a little dramatic but you didn’t want the dynamics of the group to shift just because of the situation you got yourself in with Jungkook. Even if you were in love with him and he was … in love with you. Your friendship with the three of them meant the absolute world to you.

“I’m sorry,” He apologises, pulling away slightly to look at you with sincere eyes.

You look away and sulk.

He sighs, knowing that it would be much harder to get you to feel better than just an apology.

“Look, I’ll lay it off and I’ll make sure Jimin doesn’t overstep either. Promise.” He offers with a smile.

You look at him with tentative eyes as you raise a brow at him.

“Isn’t Jimin with Kook right now?”

Taehyung opens his mouths, then closes, before he wraps an arm around your shoulder to tug you closer into his grasp.

“After this. I make no promises that Jimin hasn’t caused bodily harm on Jungkook in the meantime.” He says.

You snort, picturing Jungkook cowering or at least avoiding Jimin’s eyes now that they were alone. You knew that the bruise on Jungkook’s cheek was Jimin’s doing, and while you already talked his ear off for that, you appreciated the gesture. Even if it did look like it hurt like a bitch.

“I just want things to go back to normal.” You mumble, fiddling with your thumbs.

Taehyung nods his head and sighs.

“It will. We’re okay. You’re okay. We’ll be okay.” He comforts you with a soothing tone.

You nibble on your lips, “I guess …”

Taehyung stops in his tracks as he was about to bring you back out when you mumble those words so softly he nearly misses them.

“You guess …? Is there something—?”

“I just,” You sigh, “Jungkook and I spoke and we … cleared things up. But it’s still … it still sucks.” You finish lamely.

Taehyung gives you a sad smile before turning you around so that he can grab onto your shoulders.

“What he said doesn’t define you. And I know for a fact that he’s beating himself up over it. It sucks because he’s your best friend and he was the one that said those things to you. But none of that is true because you’re the most interesting, smart and best girl I know.” He smiles at you, even when you flush and look away.

“Stop …” You whine, avoiding his gaze and you hear him chuckle.

“Jungkook’s dumb. He’s our friend, but he’s dumb.” Taehyung snickers.

You roll your eyes but a smile teases the corner of your lips.

“It’s not just that …” You mumble softly, pink dusting your cheeks. “I told him that I was in love with him.”

At this, Taehyung quite literally chokes on his breath.

“You—what?!”

You scowl, “God, you don’t have to be so loud.” You thwack his chest and even as he winces he still has a stupefied expression on his face.

“You … love … what?” He blinks, “What the hell did I miss? Does anyone else know? When did this happen?”

You huff, “Look, that isn’t … important. Not now, at least. I told him that I needed time to sort things out myself and … yeah.” You murmur softly.

You know Taehyung wants to press further, but he doesn’t do that because your demeanour says to drop it. He sighs, pulling you into his embrace once more before he gives you an easy smile.

“Take all the time you need, okay?” He reassures you softly, and somehow it does feel a little better.

“Were the extra ten laps really necessary?” Jungkook pants, hands falling onto his knees just as he completes the last God forsaken round.

“I don’t know. Were they?” Namjoon hums, opting to skim over Jungkook’s hunched figure with a shrug.

“You’re holding a grudge on me,” Jungkook says in a tone of disbelief.

Namjoon shoots the younger boy an unimpressed look.

“Am I?” He returns, and Jungkook already feels the incoming headache approaching.

“Look, I get Jimin and Tae because the two would literally die for her … but you?” Jungkook exasperates.

Namjoon sighs, clicking the pen in his grasp before shoving it into his back pockets. By no means was Namjoon unnecessarily intimidating, because besides the fact that he towered over most people and frequented the gym as his second home; he was a decent guy and great company.

That, and he never imposed his authority as the captain of the football team onto any of the footballers, or his peers, which made him all the more approachable and likeable. Jungkook had nothing against him, but after finding out that he too had feelings for you; he’s bound to view the older boy differently.

“Jungkook, I already told you—you’re my friend and I like you.” He deadpans, “But you’re also an idiot so you’ll pay for being one. It’s really that simple.”

Jungkook narrows his eyes, “And this has nothing to do with your feelings for her?”

Namjoon snorts, waving him off as the rest of the footballers come pooling out of the changing rooms.

“I think you’re projecting a little,” He snickers and ignores the look of disbelief that covers Jungkook’s face when the footballers start gathering around the two.

“He made you run an extra lap?” Jimin snickers.

Namjoon hears this and smiles, “Ten.” He corrects.

Taehyung lets out a low whistle before patting his sullen-looking younger friend on the back while he scowls. Jungkook couldn’t say anything because he’s aware enough to know that his mouth was the one thing that got him into most of the trouble he’s ever got himself into. So he swallows his pride and wipes his sweat, even pretends to smile tightly at Jeonghan when he asks why.

The practice is brutal, well; for Jungkook at least.

Jungkook knew that Namjoon was a strict but reasonable person by nature; and to a certain extent, petty. The only reason he knew was because of his feelings for you and that irked him. But he didn’t know how far Namjoon was willing to go just to prove a point, to you or to Jungkook; he wasn’t quite sure.

But Jungkook’s pride gets the better of him when he waves off concerned stares from the rest of his members. Even Jimin looked mildly worried when Jungkook was required to do an extra circuit or two just because his form looked ‘off’.

Jungkook’s form hadn’t looked off since high school.

And that’s how you find him, splayed out on the ground as he pants for air and stares up at the sky as if he was waiting for God to pick him up.

“Why are you on the ground?” He hears you before he sees you.

And when he opens his eyes, it’s like he’s seeing an angel. He’s half-convinced that he’s died and gone to heaven because your confused face is peering down at him from above.

“I think I’m dead.” He wheezes.

You roll your eyes, immediately squatting next to him before you shuffle through your bag to take something out.

Jungkook can’t even be bothered to ask what it was, but only when you press the object against his forehead and he feels the cool touch of a cold bottle; he ironically melts into the feeling.

“Here.” You thrust the bottle to him.

“God I lo—” Jungkook’s out of it, but not that out of it to let it slip.

You seem to notice, and your ears flush at the near slip-up. Jungkook clears his throat before attempting to sit up, head spinning at the suddenness of his actions.

“Thank you,” He rectifies his mistake immediately, offering you a meek smile.

The sheepish smile you return him with is enough. And he misses you even if you’re right in front of him; because things had been off for so long and having you back … even if you weren’t his, felt better than ever.

But Jungkook’s never pined for anyone else besides you, and it’s tiring. Yet, when you smile at him it feels like it’s worth it.

“Are you checking up on the corpse?” A voice interrupts Jungkook’s dazed expression when he stares at you for a second too long.

He turns his head and sees the cause of the numbness in his legs.

Namjoon is all smiles when he jogs over, Jimin and Taehyung following closely behind as they snicker at the interaction.

“You didn’t have to be so mean.” You pout up at the taller man, standing up as you only reach the height of his shoulders. It would’ve been cute to Jungkook if Namjoon didn’t look so taken with you.

“Someone’s gotta take care of things for you,” He jokes, ruffling your hair.

Things have been going better enough for people to poke fun at Jungkook, and even if he flushes at any mention of what happened—he knows that he’s got to deal with the consequences.

He didn’t know that the extra touchiness from Namjoon’s end was one of them.

“Never thought I’d see the day the great Jeon fall.” Jimin snorts.

You raise an eyebrow.

“What?” He shrugs, “He’s always telling us hyungs that he could one-up all of us with his eyes closed.”

Taehyung nods while Namjoon only chuckles at the statement.

“Not saying that you deserve it but you deserve it, man.” Taehyung laments.

Jungkook scowls from where he sits on the grass, but you’re nice as always when you reach a hand out for him to grab.

He stares at it, struck again by your kindness. And when he looks up the evening sunset flares behind you and you looked like a painting in a museum.

“Wow.” Jungkook blurts.

He didn’t mean to, and everyone caught on his stupefied expression.

“All right,” Namjoon rolls his eyes, tugging Jungkook up himself as the younger boy scowls at the moment being ruined. “Up, loverboy.”

You huff, turning on your heels to hide the way your cheeks had turned red when you noticed Jungkook’s gaze lingering longer than it should.

Taehyung and Jimin shoot each other a look, one that goes missing from you and the two other men. In fact, Jungkook shoots Namjoon a glare that he blissfully ignores in spite of trailing behind you, taking advantage of the fact that Jungkook’s legs are too wobbly to catch up.

“What the—?”

“Hurry up, Jeon. Yena’s waiting and you know how she gets when people are late!” Namjoon calls over his shoulder, before offering you a dimpled grin and grabbing your bag to alleviate the strain on your shoulder.

Jungkook knows that things are better and he’s damn grateful he’s able to be around you without watching over his words anymore. But the childish and immature side of him turns green when he sees the shy smile you return Namjoon.

He knows, that you feel the same way. But somehow his mind overthinks it and asks: what if?

“You look constipated,” Taehyung mumbles off-handedly, clasping a hand to his back when Jungkook stays rooted in position.

“Deserved,” Jimin says.

Jungkook scowls, dejectedly following close by as the five of you walk out of the field.

“That was absolutely uncomfortable.” Yena declares the moment she steps foot into your apartment.

You scowl.

“It wasn’t that bad …” You mumble.

Yena flops herself onto your couch and raises an eyebrow as if to say really.

“Listen I know you and Jeon exchanged vows and a dowry the other day but Namjoon is definitely a close contender. I swear I saw him whipping out a pen mid-meal to write you a love poem.”

You groan, flopping face forward as you stuff your scream into your cushion.

“Why me?” You cry.

You can feel Yena rolling her eyes behind you.

“Oh boo-hoo, your life is so hard. Two hot beefy men are in love with you, wow—things must be so difficult. Would you like a free pass in a therapy session?” She mocks pouts at you when you lift your head to glare up at her.

“They are not …” You remember what Jungkook said and you clear your throat, “… Namjoon isn’t …”

Yena scoffs.

“Well he’s definitely breaking ten different traffic laws to get there.” She retorts.

You slump back into your couch as you stare up at the ceiling.

“I thought things would get better.”

Yena shuffles until she’s settled comfortably next to you, “Are things … not?” She asks carefully.

You sigh, fiddling with the edge of your cushion.

“They are, don’t get me wrong.” You say softly, “It’s just that … I know Joon has feelings for me, and I know … I mean Jungkook is Jungkook,” You explain lamely and Yena awaits your continuation patiently. “I’m not stupid. I’m pretty sure they’re both aware of their feelings, and Jimin and Taehyung are just the bystanders witnessing shit hit the fan. And I’m … well, I’m there.”

“You mean you’re the main character.” She interjects.

You scowl, chucking the cushion at her as she dodges with a cackle.

“Things are better but they’re still weird.” You mumble.

Yena sighs, nodding understandingly as she pats your head softly.

“But you said you needed time, right? To figure things out on your own?” She asks.

You nod your head.

“Yeah,” You breathe, “I do. I mean, I know what I feel and I’ve felt this way for a long time. The only person I’ve ever … loved … is Jungkook. But I don’t know if that’s a byproduct of proximity and familiarity or because he was the only person that I’ve ever … you know.” You gesture your hands ambiguously but Yena gets the point.

“I understand.” She nods, “But things won’t be easy, not at first at least. It’s weird, I know. Going from your best friend to a potential lover, a stranger to a man who’s willing to put his star quarterback on the line and two best friends who are well—they’ve always been overbearing but they’re there.” She ends with a roll of her eyes.

Your face crumbles, “Why are things so complicated?” You cry, leaning onto her shoulder as she sighs and rubs a finger over your shoulder.

“You’ve got all the time in the world. You don’t owe anyone anything, remember that okay?” She hums softly.

“Just because you stare at them long enough doesn’t mean you suddenly get telepathic abilities.” Jimin snorts.

It’s been fifteen minutes since Jungkook’s stepped into the library, courtesy of Jimin who wanted to study for an upcoming test with him. It’s a step towards mending their friendship, and Jungkook is immensely grateful; so he didn’t think twice before responding to Jimin that he’d be their stat.

But he remembers that Jimin is cunning, not maliciously, but very impertinently. He was smart and sly all at once, and while he didn’t explicitly state anything—the timing seemed all too perfect for it to be purely a coincidence.

“Not staring,” Jungkook mutters.

Yet, his eyes remain trained on your figure.

Jungkook’s always had issues with envy, ever since he was younger. If someone made the cut before he did, he’d internally curse them out in his head and work ten times as hard out of spite. It’s somewhat toxic, but it allowed him to outdo himself every single time he felt that familiar green eyes emotion. He’s also no stranger to jealousy, and he’s remembered feeling the very same feeling he’s feeling now multiple times throughout his life, all for similar reasons.

You.

It wasn’t just because you were great at everything you did, excelling in your academics and extra-curricular, making students and superiors around you impressed with your work ethic. You were never ordinary; in fact, all you did in your life was outdo yourself in every single aspect and Jungkook always admired and envied that. It always made him feel like you were in two different worlds, where Jungkook had to work twice as hard compared to anyone else to achieve peak efficiency while you seemed to breeze by the things that you did.

Even when the two of you were in high school, he’d always fantasise what it would be like to be with you, to kiss you and to hold your hand or call you his. But he’s never thought you’d ever see him that way because all you’ve ever alluded to was him being nothing but a friend, a younger boy who had the stars in his eyes. If only you knew that it was a reflection of your face.

And the feeling is all too familiar, even when he first came to college and remembered seeing you interact with different guys that all seemed like they were taken with you. How could they not be? You were soft, sweet, kind and understanding—never the type to impose yourself or make others feel uncomfortable. You were a perfect combination of soft and relentless, the mixture of your best qualities and it seemed like Jungkook wasn’t the only person who saw that.

And he knew, he knew that you’d never lie to him, explicitly at least, or about things that mattered. So he doesn’t count your feelings, but it’s frustrating to have you right there but not at all. Especially when he recognises the look on Namjoon’s face intimately when he looks at you, bodies pressed adjacently in a booth in the library.

“You knew, didn’t you?” Jungkook scowls.

Jimin blinks innocently at his friend before a cheeky smile appears on his face, his hands pausing in between the sheets of his textbook.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He feigns innocence.

Jungkook rolls his eyes, further slumping in his chair before he forces himself to tear his wandering eyes away from you.

“What a way to rekindle a friendship …” He mutters dryly.

Jimin stares at Jungkook pointedly, “Hey, the library is open to all students. Don’t go pointing fingers at me.”

“Jimin, I literally suggested we head to an overnight cafe and you said if I wanted to fix us then I had to listen to you,” Jungkook says dryly, “And I quote—or else.”

“Okay, maybe I may have been projecting a little—”

“Jimin …” He groans.

“But look, it’s not the end of the world so don’t go ahead and get your panties in a twist, all right?” Jimin snorts, “Just 'cause she’s over there with Mr Beefy doesn’t mean you’re out of the race. Let’s just say you’re sporting a broken foot.”

Jungkook only responds with a bland look.

“That doesn’t—”

“—and a dislocated knee. Maybe a torn hamstring?” Jimin ponders like the details actually mattered. “Yeah, a pulled hamstring. A torn ACL too for a kick. And you know who’s fault all of that was?”

Jungkook sighs, “Yes, Jimin, I know. It’s me—”

“No. It’s me. Because I’m planning on dragging this out as far as I can even if you and she made amends. You fucked with someone I cared about and this is how I hold you accountable. I’m going to draw out every lone interaction she shares with Joon and make you watch it like the porn you consume in an unhealthy amount. I’ll make it so that all you’ll see when you close your eyes is the way hyung looks at her and how you can’t do anything but watch.”

Jimin says all of that in one go and with an unblinking stare. If Jimin was looking for a reaction, he definitely got one because Jungkook is gawking at him with a disturbed expression at how utterly menacing he looks.

“You’re fucking terrifying,” He exhales.

“And you’re a little shit,” Jimin returns with a huff. His eyes dart behind Jungkook for a second before his smile is expression is replaced with an evil grin, “Oh, look at that. He’s brushing her hair back—how cute.” He coos.

Jungkook groans, sinking into his chair when Jimin snickers.

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bohica160 · 3 years

Text

Omegaverse - Denied Time Off

Another omegaverse? No way! When your boss is being a dick -_-

(Sorry for the reupload, I apparently made it a chat the first time?🤷‍♀️)

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗMinors gtfo, this isn't for youᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

CC: Alpha Chris, Fem omega reader, voyeurism(workplace)

Alpha Chris gets rather needy during his ruts. Sometimes they get very intense for the both of you, that it's in everyone's best interest that you both take the time off from work. A lot of companies are very lenient with allowing mated couples time off for heats and ruts. Obviously there are some cases that they will allow non-mated individuals time off. However for some reason when your boss found out your sweet loving boyfriend worked for BSAA, he started to treat you differently compared to others. Giving you a harder time from work load to requesting time off for important moments.

You knew Chris’s rut was going to happen any day now, and you figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask your boss for the week off. To no surprise, your boss barely let you finish before he said ‘no’. When you told Chris your boss needed you to come into work during his rut, on the outside he seemed a little annoyed but internally he was pissed. You figured you could call out a couple days saying you were sick, but you were worried how the remaining week will be for him when it hits. The next day was impossibly hard to leave for work with Chris standing behind you the whole time you got ready for work. Littering your neck with marks as he rubs his erect member against the plush of your ass. You were surprised you made it out with every piece of clothing on your person.

Once you walked into your cubicle, you noticed a pile of paperwork waiting for you on your desk. You could already tell by the stack, you would be coming home late. You sent Chris a quick text letting him know before you got to work. It was almost 11am, when you heard a few voices causing a commotion. You knew if you even dared to try to peek around a corner to see what it was, you knew it was best to stay out of office drama. It wasn't until a specific scent hit your nose. Right as you were about to get up from your seat, a big strong hand grabbed onto your forearm, pulling you up to stand. “Chris! What are you doing here?” You asked with a little hint of worry. You noticed his flushed cheeks and how his skin was glistening from the fluorescent lights. He quickly tugged you out of your work area and dragged you down the hall. The pheromones he was producing were causing some omegas to gather. A few were dumb enough to approach the two of you, causing the alpha to let out a warning growl baring his fangs, causing them all to shrink back and run away.

You didn't realize where he was taking you until he pulled you into a room and locked the door behind you. Noticing the bathroom stalls and sinks, you turned to ask him a question, only for him to seal your mouth with his. He backed you up against the counter, his big hands grabbing each cheek, lifting you up without breaking the kiss. He pulled back enough to pull off your shirt, attacking the bare skin with his lips and teeth. “C-chris, we can’t d-do this here.” Completely ignoring your protests, he unhooked your bra with one hand while he continued to trail down your skin. Sucking on the plush skin, spilling out from your bra. “Maybe if your fucking dick of a boss let you had some time off, we would be doing this at home instead of here”, he said with a groan, cupping your breasts, twisting your pebbled buds. Your sweet moans bounce off the walls.

You lean back, head thumping against the mirror as he latched his lips around one of your nipples. Bringing his free hand to the middle of your back, arching you more up into him. You cup his face pulling him up to face you, releasing your bud with a pop before devouring your pink swollen lips. Your tongues mingle against each other with passion and need, the alpha makes haste with his pants. The clinking of the metal buckle rings in your ear causing you to clench around nothing. You hook your legs around his, trying to pull him closer to you. He lets out a low chuckle against your lips before pulling away, “hmmm so eager, even though you didn’t want to do this here” “It's your fault” You respond with a pout with your eyebrows squeezed together. Giving you a smirk “Oh?” You hear a soft thud of his pants and belt hit the floor. “What exactly is my fault baby girl?” You lift up the edges of your skirt, bringing it to your mouth. Holding onto the fabric with your teeth, you flash him your lace panties. Closing your legs you swiftly slip them down before kicking them off. The alpha watches your every move as he slowly pumps his cock, smearing the beads of precum dripping down his slit. You back yourself further onto the counter putting your weight onto your arms as you lean back. Bringing your knees to your chest, resting your feet on the edge of the counter. Chris raises an eyebrow only for you to slowly open your legs giving the man a perfect view of your cunt. You can see his length twitch in his hand, letting out a long deep groan.

“Shit baby” he rasped, reaching forward with his unoccupied hand, using one of his thick digits to run up and down your soaked folds. “So fucking wet” He slowly inches his finger in. As your walls contract around his finger, he'd bury it deeper and deeper into your warm cunt. He curls his finger up, rubbing the rough pad against that soft spongy spot that has you trying to close your legs, only for him to release himself, to hold your legs still.

You let out a small whine, as he withdraws from your heated core. He laps up your slick dripping down his hand, letting out a hum of content. “Sorry baby girl”, he said, fisting himself as he lined himself up to your entrance. “I’d love to play with you more but,” He pushes himself in slowly, only giving you the tip at first. You let out a whine and try moving your hips forward, but his grip on your hips, have you in place. He pulls back just a bit and sinks a bit further each time. “I need to fuck this sweet pussy of yours.” With that last word, he snaps his hips into yours in one swift motion, pulling the most pornagraphic moan from your lips.

Each time his length twitches, your walls tighten around him. This vicious cycle continues until he starts rolling his hips into you at an agonizing slow speed. You wrap your arms around his neck pulling him closer, nipping on his ear. His hips start to pick up pace, with each graze of your teeth. His grunts cause the muscles in your pelvis to flutter and turn into jello. He moves his hands to your ass, squeezing each cheek as he lifts you up just enough to press your bundle of nerves against his abdomen. “F-fuck” you choke out as he continues to lift and drop you on his cock like you weigh absolutely nothing. “That’s it baby”, He grunts through clenched teeth. “You like getting fucked at work?” You squeeze your eyes shut as you clench around him. “You do, don’t you?” Your eyes shoot open as you shake your head. “You sure? Seems like you want everyone to hear you.” Right as you were about to say something, he drops you on his shaft as he thrusts up. You let out a cry as he presses up against your cervix. Head falling back as your legs wrap tightly around him. Your slick drips down his full balls, pooling below the two of you.

“S-shit. You okay angel?” You nod your head slowly bringing your head back forward, looking at his blue lust filled eyes. Releasing your grasp around his neck, you lean back putting your arms behind you to steady your upper body. You languidly roll your hips into his, fucking yourself on his cock. He stills, watching you bury his length deep into your core. He waits a moment before thrusting into you in time with yours. Your mouth hangs open, feeling the crown of his member abuse your spongy spot. Chris could feel the heat pool in his pelvic floors, heartbeat speeding up as he felt himself soon coming to his release. Your slick gummy walls flutter sporadically around him, the tension building up in your lower belly. “Gonna cum all over this fat cock?” He asks with a smirk. You respond nodding ra[idly. Chris pauses his thrusts only for you to quickly look up at him with confusion and annoyance. “Say it.” You search his face only seeing his sly smirk and playful gaze. You were at your wits end, you were so close, and the longer you waited the less pressure you felt in your abdomen. “Say it or I-” “Please! Please let me cream all over your fat cock! I want to be filled up with your thick cum! Plea-” Chris honestly wasn’t expecting that much of a reaction from you, but goddamn he didn’t think it was possible to get any harder.

With a flip of a switch Chris began to thrust into you frantically. His eyes drank in every inch of your body, from the way your tits bounced with every erratic thrust. To how your eyes rolled into the back of your head with a fucked out look plastered on your face blubbering complete nonsense. The tension in your abdomen was becoming unbearable, needing one more push to send you over the edge. “Shit, shit shit!” Chris felt the heat explode throughout his lower body, as he gave one hard thrust deep into your heat. As you felt your alphas cock spasm inside of you, shooting his warm thick cum up against the narrow end of your cunt, the strain of pressure inside you finally broke. As your cunt tried to milk every last drop of him, Chris began to hump into you, muscles pressing firmly on your clit. You threw your head back, “Fuck Chris!” you kept chanting as the contact to your pearl pushed you deeper into ecstasy. You swore you could feel your nails dig into the ceramic countertop.

Once Chris came down from his high, he pulled you into him, littering your face with soft sweet kisses, bringing you back down to Earth. Once you regained composure, you buried your face into his clammy neck. “Can we go home?” You asked barely above a whisper into his skin. He hummed in response, kissing your crown. He quickly dressed the two of you before he gathered you in his arms bridal style. When the two of you made it out of the bathroom, your boss was standing outside with a few other coworkers. Chris walked up to the man towering over him. His blue eyes glaring at him. “Deny her time off again, and I’ll keep fucking her here. Understood” You boss kept his gaze down at the floor, shaking his head as if his life depended on it. His scent flooded the place, making the place stink of fear. Chris turned to leave, “Don’t let it happen again” He called out, not bothering to look behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ°˖✧.*:･ Tag list:@thatgoblin

#chris redfield x reader #chris redfield x yn #chris redfield #chris redfield smut #alpha chris redfield #fem reader #afab reader #omega reader #resident evil x reader #resident evil x yn #resident evil smut #omegaverse #a/b/o #headcanon #sorry if this sucks

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nctsworld · 3 years

Text

skateboard love

✩‌ yangyang x reader | skater boy!yangyang | college au | fluff | 2.2k

SUMMARY | yangyang tries to get you to skateboard for the first time and in doing so, you’re taken back to when you first met him. // for @notnctu’s beginning collab! WARNINGS | slight injury (reader trips over a curb), one swear word, kissing RATING | teen+ TAGLIST | @infnteen

“I can’t do this,” you mutter, shaking your head in defeat.

The ocean waves clamour nearby as you stare down at the skateboard and concrete pavement beneath your sneakers in frustration.

The weight of your helmet and the wrist guards are blatant in your every movement. Sure, it’s a little embarrassing at your age, but it’d be best to rather be safe than sorry.

Thankfully, they’ve been coming in handy during the times you almost fell and slipped off of your boyfriend’s skateboard. It may have been his idea to try to learn, but you weren’t opposed to it, thinking it’d be easy.

They say things are easier said than done, and now you’re forced to admit skateboarding definitely falls under that list.

“Yes, you can,” Yangyang softly says. Beside you, he gives your hand a gentle squeeze, causing you to peer into his gleaming eyes and bright smile.

Despite the recentness of your relationship, your boyfriend’s patience and encouragement feels like routine, like he’s been by your side for your entire life. His words don’t fall on deaf ears; you parrot his smile and muster a small nod, albeit glancing away shyly.

“Just think about all the times you’ve watched me skate past the library and copy what I did.”

Petulantly, you stick your tongue out. “It wasn’t that often.”

Disbelief reflects back at you in the form of an eyebrow raise.

“Really?”

“Really!”

Around mid-September, in the most modern, glass-structured library on campus, you found a studying area that was perfect for you.

Main floor, nearby the entrance doors for an easy exit when class was about to roll around. A high stool chair that was cushioned comfortably for endless hours of equal parts studying and procrastination. Plugs and desk space galore.

Above all, it was perfect because you had the picturesque view of the boy who always skated every other day around 11:50am towards his next class across the wide stoned boulevard in front of the library.

You noticed him the first few times when you initially sat upstairs. Even from afar and above, your interest was piqued over how coolly he skated past all the students. There were only so many students who biked to their next class, and even less who skateboarded.

And after you decided to sit downstairs for once to finally steal a closer glimpse of him, you were completely smitten upon capturing his handsome features.

Thus, your heart constantly raced in anticipation when 11:50am hit, as students scattered all across campus during this transition period.

With a thumb tucked in his pocket and headphones over his ears to boot, the mystery skater boy often slid past around 11:55am, making your mind wonder where his former class was and where he was going. Was he in Engineering? Arts? Business?

The latter option didn’t seem likely since his style didn’t echo the stereotypical look of the faculty. Dark coloured hoodies and sweaters, bomber jackets, and skinny jeans were his usual choice of fashion, alongside the occasional baseball cap. And on the days he wore his cap backwards, he was truly in his skater element.

No matter, you always swooned with your chin perched atop your fist or resting inside your palm as he passed by. The brief sighting of him easily became the highlight of your day.

You would be lying if you said you didn’t try to look for him in your classes, but to no avail. You had to live with the fact that you’d only get to know him in passing as he skated on by the library.

When the mere hoodies and sweaters were exchanged for heavier, thicker jackets and coats, he still continued to traverse across campus via his unsurprising mode of transportation. You especially admired his dedication on the days filled with rain and wind, wishing there was some way for you to ease his trips to his next class.

All throughout the couple of months, he was consistent in attending that one class.

Except one day.

It was a Friday, about a week or two near finals season. The weather was quite chilly now, but snow wouldn’t be an issue until after winter break and well into the next semester, so there wasn’t any reason for him to not use his skateboard still.

Maybe he was sick at home, you thought. Pouting, you tried not to dwell over the stranger because that’s all what he was.

Someone you didn’t know, someone you only watched from afar. Someone that filled your daydreams, pondering what he’d be like and what’d you two could talk about... but nevertheless a stranger.

Oddly enough, about an hour past noon, someone dragged you out of your thoughts momentarily as they unusually sat nearby your spot.

The unspoken library etiquette was to sit as far away from others for more personal space, especially in the area where you frequented. You tried your best to ignore the shuffling of the person placing their laptop and books onto the elongated wall-length table, feigning laser-focus on your notes.

But a few moments later, you heard a whisper coming from their direction.

“Is this your favourite spot in the library?”

“Hm?” you hummed, dragging your headphones down to your shoulders as you swivelled towards the seated stranger. Air seized in your lungs and your eyebrows shot up.

The gorgeous skater boy glowed with rosy cheeks from the cold air outside, paired with his stunning smile. You realized this was the first time you’ve ever seen him smile—preciously, by the way, with his teeth on full display—and your heart stirred like crazy.

A beat stretched out. Your jaw hung in shock and you blinked blankly. Guess you solved the mystery as to where he was today.

He beamed more intensely at your awe struck and continued to whisper, “I always see you sitting here when I get to my next class.”

“Uhm,” your jaw snapped up, prior to your dry gulp. “What?”

“Yeah,” his deep chuckling tickled your ear. God, of course a smooth voice matched a face like that. “you stare out the window so cutely whenever I pass by the library.”

A record scratched, then you rewound the moment in your head. Not only did he knew you existed but...

Did he just called you cute?

Catching on with awareness over his own words, the skater boy pouted to one side. His cheek jutted out adorably and red seemed to crawl over them, progressing over to the tips of his ears too.

Light giggling from both parties filled the space, with you tucking your hair behind your ear and him tugging on the ends of his sweater paws.

“So, are you skipping class?” you asked, tilting your head curiously.

“Yeah,” he replied, gesturing towards his busy study set-up ahead of him. It was a similar scene to yours—notes layered and layered upon each other, a laptop which displayed more notes, and a few textbooks were open too. “When you need to skip a class to study for another class...”

You nodded sympathetically, pointing a finger to your organized mess to imply the same. “Finals season.”

He nodded as well in unity and you two exchanged another round of smiles.

“I’m Yangyang.”

With that, introductions were made and bits of information were shared. Your hunch was right—he was in Engineering, but he also had some elective labs that were being held in the Science side of campus. Made sense why he had to navigate across campus from one end to the other.

Before the conversation began to get carried away, he issued a small apology. “Sorry, I really shouldn’t be interrupting your studying. I’ll leave you be.”

Admittedly, it caught you off guard. You wanted to pipe up about how he wasn’t interrupting, that you wanted to dive into getting to know him more. You’ve seen him practically almost every day for the last couple of months and you didn’t want to let this chance slip through your fingers.

Yet, at the same time, you begrudgingly knew he was right. You had to study for your upcoming in-class final, so you held your thoughts back and unwillingly turned back to your responsibility at hand.

It was difficult to study with skater boy being in the same vicinity as you—practically an arm’s length away from you—but you eventually tampered down your jitters and honed your attention.

Hours passed. Neither of you really shifted much besides the casual stretching or the much needed break to the bathroom.

Darkness loomed in the winter sky and out of the corner of your eye, you noticed him writing, which he hadn’t done during the time he’d been there.

And then, after an ear-piercing slow rip of paper that echoed in the library, he slid that piece of paper in your direction with one simple question that ignited the spark for the beginning of you and him—

I know we just met, but do you want to go out sometime?

“’Cause if I recall...” Yangyang continues, breaking you away from your bout of reminiscing. He absentmindedly tucks away some loose strands of hair sticking out of your helmet. “You watched me at least since the beginning of last semester—”

“Nu-uh,” you cut in, lying in a childish tone.

“Yuh-huh,” he rebuttals.

Under the warm afternoon sunlight, you two begin to have a staring contest, squinting and playfully seething at one another. When your boyfriend squints harder with a ruffle of his nose, you follow suit. Eventually, you give in with a sigh.

“Okay, fine. Even if I did watch you a lot, it doesn’t mean I can just absorb your skateboarding skills through memory.”

Cockiness fades over his joking exterior as he flashes you a shit-eating grin. “It’s cause you were too busy focusing on my handsome face.”

Becoming second nature for you by now as he’s often like this, you roll your eyes and lightly punch him in the arm, but... he isn’t wrong.

And from your lack of an articulate response, Yangyang knows he’s right.

Sparing you from injuring your pride further, he swings the conversation back to what you were doing here in the first place.

A hand of his steadies you by the bottom of your back. “Balancing feels weird, I know, but you’ll get the hang of it. Let’s try again.”

Releasing a lengthy exhale, your head bounces fervently in hopes that false confidence and your boyfriend’s support can morph into a successful skateboard run.

The careful push he gives you is ample enough to have you ride down the street by yourself. Your body wavers side by side and you fear that you’ll teeter to a stop like all the other times, but somehow, your foot swipes across the pavement, carrying you further down the street.

It’s not fast by any means, but as you persistently execute it, you gain traction and see yourself finally riding without any issues.

“Yangyang, I got it. I got it!” you shriek as you quickly glance back towards him.

He radiates in response and gets lost in you, equally proud that you finally found your balance and basking in how stunning you look as you coast down the beach side street.

However, his trance breaks when he sees you’re about to hit the edge of a street curb.

“Babe, watch ou—”

The scene happens fast. You’re suddenly laying on a patchy part of the grass, with the skateboard by your feet. Yangyang bolts to you, hunching down as he daintily tugs you to sit upward.

“You okay?” he pants nervously.

At first, you nod without a thought since the helmet and wrist guards have saved you from any potential major injuries.

However, your boyfriend’s eyes widen when out of nowhere, you draw in air between clenched teeth. Your butt feels as if it’s on fire, since it was actually the body part that mostly broke your fall.

He suggests to sit here for a while to let the pain dissipate, reassuring you’ll be fine from his own past experiences.

As you rest awkwardly beside him on the grass, placing weight on your hip rather than your rear end, he aids you in ridding of your safety gear. Once they’re off, he kisses your hand tenderly.

“Maybe we should leave the skateboarding to me, for now,” he mumbles softly into your skin, leaving another kiss upon your hand.

You mope in agreement. “Maybe so...”

Caressed in his arms, you link eyes with him. Your eyes flutter to a close while he delicately eases you into him by the back of your neck.

The intense pressing of his lips against yours feels heavenly, almost entirely sedating your mild pain. He kisses you deeper, disregarding everyone and everything in proximity. You reciprocate it all back eagerly, cupping his cheek and gripping onto his strong frame as you do so.

Peeling away breathlessly, you tip your forehead against his. “Should we go back to the library and have me watch you longingly from our old spot?”

Yangyang hurriedly shakes his head.

“Nope. Never again,” he replies, his thumb stroking your cheek. “If you’re watching me skateboard, you’ll be doing it by my side from now on, beautiful.”

A chuckle trickles from you. You’re about to retort back, but your one and only skater boy diverts your train of thought, dragging you in for another long, blissful kiss.

#yangyang x reader #yangyang fluff #yangyang fanfic #yangyang imagines #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct fanfic #wayv fluff #wayv imagines #wayv fanfic #yn brainrot #beginningscollab

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stardustinyoureyes · 2 years

Text

Unnecessarily Long S3 Trailer Analysis

Read more cause of spoilers

General thoughts:

APOCALYPSE NUMBER 3, HERE WE GO!!!

Honestly think that every season is going to be about stopping the apocalypse, and you know what? I'm fine with that.

PERFECT song for the trailer, 10/10

I love how they are referring to the Umbrellas and Sparrows as siblings straight out of the gate, let them be a big happy family!!

The Sparrows seem less intense in the trailer than they have been in the rest of the promotional material. Like, we see them grooving, we see Marcus going to a diner with Viktor, we see them getting beat by the Umbrellas multiple times. I like it. Seeing them as actual people and not invincible, emotionless superheroes drives home how Reginald fucked up yet another group of literal children.

Klaus, ending up in an alternate timeline that is going to be destroyed in less than a week: It's a tits-out kind of look.

Seriously, I don't think he has a single outfit with a closed, full-length shirt, and you know what? Valid.

I wasn't sure whether Fei's power was turning into birds or controlling them, this trailer confirms it's the latter

Looks like Lila joins up with them early on. GOOD. SHE'S A PART OF THE FAMILY NOW.

The dickhead moment...iconic. Peak sibling energy. I love them so much.

Various things that caught my eye:

Younger!Reginald, this might be a scene about when he first came to earth and it'll explain their origins a little bit

FIVE'S FUCKING FISHING OUTFIT. Amazing. Five toasting their untimely demise. Amazing. Klaus's outfit. Amazing. Dear God I want to have brunch with the two of them.

Blood bag that gets blown up by the kugelblitz. I'm guessing someone gets severely hurt and ends up in the hospital. Honestly could see it being an Umbrella or a Sparrow. I've seen a few people theorizing that one of the Sparrows will die, idk if I agree but I can definitely see one of them almost dying. Maybe one of the episodes will end in a cliffhanger where it looks like someone's going to die, but then they don't, like with Allison in S1.

Had to zoom in so this pic is pretty blurry, but that person is definitely wearing a hat. So this is Klaus getting attacked by Ben during their first encounter. Fun.

Five being the one to punch Ben in the face...he'd do anything for his siblings, including hurt another sibling.

Love Fei just chilling, watching Luther getting the shit beat out of him. Icon. It looks like Marcus's power is literally the exact same as Luther's, since I don't think he'd be able to punch Luther out if he didn't have super strength too. Maybe it'll turn out there's another aspect to it, but for now it seems like they're the same. Imagine having the most generic superpower out of all of your siblings and being like "well at least I'm the only one with the power" and then finding out that someone else has your incredibly basic power too. I'd be so pissed. F in the chat for Luther.

Pretty sure this is the basement that Marcus was in from that one still. Was the thing he looking at this weird-ass ball? Also, is that a framed picture of Marcus in the bottom left corner? Is this basement his playroom or something??? He just goes down there to hang out and ends up encountering a fucking Gastly-looking ball of electricity?? Okay.

What the dog doing? Oh, right, dissolving into a pile of ash. Okay. Also apparently being a concierge or something at the Hotel Oblivion.

(I fucking swear, if they bring in Mr. Pennycrumb to just kill him off, I will be so pissed.)

DIEGO AND LILA FIGHTING BACK TO BACK HELL YES A WIN FOR THE BISEXUALS!!! THEY'VE LITERALLY GOT EACH OTHER'S BACK!!!! LET THEM KICK SOMEONE'S ASS TOGETHER!!!

MARCUS'S FACE LMAOOO. Luther makes some of the best faces out of all of them, I'm glad to see Number 1 in this timeline is the same way.

Also, absolute king shit from Viktor. The growth.

Viktor in S1: *Apologizes for breathing*

Viktor in S3: Fuck you, you wish you were me.

More pics in reblog...lots more...

#the umbrella academy #tua #tua s3 spoilers #tua s3 #they posted the trailer today for my birthday how kind of them

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ateezmakemeweep · 3 years

Text

lights out.

neighbor!yunho

word count: 7k

angst, fluff

you had three requirements when searching for your first apartment: a good location, an all pets allowed policy and access to the rooftop.

it seemed a little unusual, that you’d really find the perfect place, all the other check marks and lovely amenities secured, and just say no because you weren’t able to escape to the roof.

but it was a place you always found solace in.

cold nights overlooking the city or warm, spring days in the sun - and when you first moved in a few months ago, overjoyed to check out your new daily view, you saw one of your other neighbors also had an affinity for the rooftop.

he was softly humming to himself as he looked out over the roof, his tall, broad figure covered in a yellow hoodie. just the profile of his face alone had your cheeks warming, faded light blue hair peeking out from under his hood.

a peaceful look covered his face, all the light in eyes and softness of his features making him look boyish and sweet.

and then as if he sensed your presence, or more like your fascinated stare of admiration, he looked to you and his lips pulled into a bright smile.

“hi.”

you bit down on your lip at the realization you got caught, a slight blush on your cheeks as you shot the handsome stranger a shy smile.

“hi,” you said softly, your eyes moving from him to the view behind - all very picturesque and pretty, tall skyscrapers and a clear, blue summer sky. “i’m sorry if i interrupted you.”

“not at all,” he hummed, his arms crossed carelessly over the edge.

an awkward silence hung in the air, unsure if you should stay grounded in your place or make a move closer to him; you chose the former, in case the handsome stranger was weirded out by your closeness - but he seemed to take it another way.

“are you scared?”

your eyebrows pulled together at the teasing smirk on his face, an interesting contrast to the slightest hint of concern in his eyes.

“of what?” you ask in confusion, looking from the view to his cute, questioning face. “you?”

a smile crosses his face that has your heart jumping in your chest, the sun shining down on him and proving that he really is just as perfect as he seems even from afar.

“i was thinking more the heights or the view but i guess the fact that you’re on the roof with a stranger could be scary too.”

an awkward chuckle leaves your mouth, not so much because of his comment but because you don’t know how you’ve managed to develop a crush on this man in less than 60 seconds.

you hesitantly make your way over, your eyes shining with nerves and slight amusement.

“actually, i’ll have you know, access to the rooftop was one of my three requirements for getting a place.”

“oh yeah?” he asks, a smile on his face as he turns his body toward you. “did you just move in?”

he’s pressed up against the concrete without a care in the world, eyes roaming your face and not once dipping toward your dress-covered body.

“i did,” you smile, “about an hour ago.”

“no shit,” he smiles, the profanity leaving his mouth a stark contrast to the sweet smile on his face. he makes his way over to you, his large form towering over you making you swallow nervously - he’s far too handsome and big, two factors proving to be a major weakness for you.

“i’m yunho, apartment 304.”

“y/n,” you smile, the way it lights up your face making yunho’s heart jump in his chest - you’re even prettier looking this happy and excited. “apartment 305.”

you should’ve known then that the handsome man on the rooftop was gonna turn out to be the kindest neighbor you’ve ever had.

he welcomed you into the building with open arms, invited you to a dinner party with his friends mingi, wooyoung and san who also lived on the same floor as you two.

he was always quiet and considerate of the people around him, making sure his tv and music was low by the time 9:00 came around - and even when it wasn’t, you couldn’t help but mind because it was always sweet, soothing tones of comedic chatter or soft pop music.

he always lended you extra butter or milk when you needed, the first time he saw you in your messy ponytail and pastel pink apron the time he realized he might have a little crush on you.

that the times he got excited seeing you down in the lobby or in the elevator were more than just his heart having random palpitations.

the knock on his door that day was soft in a distinct pattern of two, opening up his embarrassingly messy apartment to see you standing there with flour in your hair and a sheepish smile on your face.

“hi neighbor,” you smiled sweetly, your small hand with chipped nail polish waving to him. “do you have an extra egg you can spare?”

“depends,” he smiles, leaning his head against the doorframe cooly. “what are you making with it?”

“pumpkin bread,” you inform him cheerfully, just about the only festive, fall food you’re able to make apart from sweet potato soup.

“ooh that sounds good,” he smiles, his large hand ushering you inside. “come on in. excuse the mess.”

it was your first time stepping inside his apartment, messy and properly lived in but a nice, clean scent in the air - like laundry, home and men’s cologne.

he had a large sectional to fit his crazy group of friends he told you about once in the hallway, a large tv perched on the wall and a small dining room table with rickety folding chairs.

you could tell immediately that it was an apartment that was like a home rather than a house, the same type of warmth in it that shines through the man taller than his own refrigerator.

“i wish i could say my apartment isn’t always this messy but that’d be a lie,” he says, one egg in hand as he makes his way over to you. he looks down at you with a smile, his eyes going back to the cute little apron adoring your body.

“that’s okay, so is mine,” you say, far too guilty of skipping your sunday cleaning day for the past three weeks.

you can’t help the way your eyes trail over his soft brown ones, everything about him and his aura only making you develop a stronger crush on him. he just seemed like such a sweet and genuine person, always looking out for you and going out of his way to send you a smile.

no one has ever made you feel so welcomed in a new place before nor have you ever seen someone with such a sweet, soft smile and kind eyes.

“so just one egg?” he finally asks, breaking the silence and the way your eyes roam over each other intensely.

“i.. oh- yes! yes, thank you, just one,” you stutter out, taking the cold egg from his large hand. you never noticed how nice his hands were either, veiny and large with long fingers and clean nails.

there doesn’t seem to be anything about this man that isn’t perfect, apart from maybe his disaster of an apartment.

“i’ll be sure to bring you a piece of bread when i’m finished,” you say sweetly, the man smiling down at you teasingly causing your heart to jump.

“and if you burn down the complex?”

a mock gasp leaves your mouth as you hit him lightly, his soft chuckle ringing through the air as he watches you turn to leave his apartment.

“forget it then!” you squeal jokingly, knowing right when it’s done, you’ll be rushing over to make sure it’s still nice and warm for him.

his eyes linger on the bounce of your hair and your messily tied apron as you disappear into the hall, letting out a small sigh when he feels the remaining hints of butterflies in his stomach.

“are you ever gonna tell her?” his best friend mingi asked, the two of them going down to san’s for thanksgiving dinner a few weeks later. “you’ve known her for three months now. that’s a reasonable amount of time to have a crush, she wouldn’t be weirded out.”

“i know but we haven’t really like... talked talked, you know,” the tall boy explains, a bowl of mashed potatoes in hand. “we have... neighborly chats in the hallway or in the elevator, sometimes even on the roof if we’re both there, but we really don’t know each other that way.”

“okay and that’s what a date is for, the fuck?” his younger friend spats, a small chuckle leaving his mouth; he wishes it really were that easy for him.

“do you just wanna give her eggs and sugar for the rest of your life?”

the tall boy lets out a sigh as he looks at his friend, the dramatic, playful flair of his body causing him to bite back a smile.

“and it’s obvious she doesn’t have a boyfriend, you would’ve seen him coming and going by now,” mingi continues, their loud footsteps stomping further and further down the hall. “you really have nothing to lose.”

but he kind of has everything to lose.

he likes being the friendly neighbor you can get eggs from or see on the rooftop.

he likes being the person who’s made you comfortable here, helping as you adjust to a new, intimidating setting.

he likes being a friend to you, one that genuinely cares for you and doesn’t have any ulterior motives because he may or may not have feelings for you.

“i don’t know, maybe one day,” yunho says, knocking on san’s apartment door with his free hand. “but today is not that day. today is not the day i confess my tiny, small, minuscule crush to-”

the door opening causes his words to halt, potatoes nearly slipping from his grasp when he sees your smiling face and the light brown sweater dress clinging to your body.

“y/n,” he smiles, shocked but pleasantly surprised to see you here. “hi. i-i didn’t know you’d be here.”

san comes out from behind you less than a second later, throwing a friendly arm around your shoulder as he smiles at him connivingly - yunho knew he was gonna regret letting his little crush on you slip when he and san went out and got shit-faced at dinner together.

“i heard she made delicious pumpkin bread so she had to make the cut,” san said, bumping your arm teasingly when you turn to narrow your eyes at him.

“oh? you heard i made good pumpkin bread?” you question, remembering the events from a few weeks ago very differently. “or you demanded to be let into my house for a bite after you smelt it through the walls?”

“eh, tomato, tomahto,” he says quickly, ushering in mingi and yunho who are holding in their loud, contagious chuckles. “come in, we’re fucking starving waiting for your slow asses.”

you catch yunho’s soft gaze moving to you, smiling at him sweetly and heart fluttering rapidly when he smiles back.

“hi, neighbor. surprised to see you here.”

“yeah,” you chuckle out awkwardly, not wanting the man to think you’re intruding on him and his friends after your short time knowing them. “i hope it’s okay. once san smelt the bread and heard i wasn’t doing anything for the holidays, he kind of, basically, insisted that i-”

“oh, no, no, i’m... i’m happy you’re here,” he says, his words rushed out and awkward but full of sincerity. “i’m really happy to see you here.”

your heart jumps at the sentiment, a soft blush on your cheeks that you’re somehow ignorant to on his face as well. you bite down on your lip to control your smile, giving him a small nod before offering to take the potatoes from his hands.

when you turn to bring the bowl over to the dining room table, your back to the two giant boys watching your retreating form, you miss the way yunho’s blush becomes darker.

you miss mingi elbowing his friend obnoxiously and mimicking his cute, flustered “i- i’m really happy to see you,” resulting in yunho elbowing his friend back roughly.

he’s able (aka cuts off, both, wooyoung and san) to secure a seat next to you at dinner a few moments later.

he tries to ignore the way your elbows bump all night, the two of you awkwardly giggling and apologizing with soft smiles before finally allowing your arms to just... touch.

remain close to one another and find comfort in the way your skin is warm and soft on each other.

he tries to ignore the way your fingers graze as you wash the dishes and he dries them later that night, what feels like electric sparks shooting through your skin every time you touch.

“that was really good,” you tell yunho softly, your eyes observing the boys throwing left over remnants of food at each other or picking through the netflix movie selection. “you guys are good cooks.”

“like your bread wasn’t demolished in three minutes,” yunho huffs, pride and assurance in his tone that causes you to smile sheepishly; there’s a few beats of silence, embarrassed by the compliment, before he begins to speak again.

“our first thanksgiving together was also the first away from our families,” he shares quietly, ignoring the way his heart jumps as he takes a plate from you. “we didn’t know what the hell we were doing and completely fucked up the turkey.”

you let out a giggle as he recalls the disaster that was thanksgiving day two years ago, airing out the smokey apartment and waiting for their thanksgiving feat of chinese food.

“well you guys definitely redeemed yourself, it was all very good,” you compliment proudly, a pretty smile stretched across your face. “one of my best thanksgivings.”

“did your family not celebrate?” he asks absentmindedly, watching the way your face falls for a split second before masked by a small smile.

“not really,” is all you share, both of you quickly pulled away by wooyoung’s incessant demands to “hurry up so we can bust out the second desserts.”

you both try to ignore the slight tension in the air as you walk back to your apartments that night, arms bumping and soft giggles echoing through the walls.

it feels as if the night shouldn’t end yet, like you guys have been talking in this hallway for hours upon hours because neither of you wanna go inside and separate yet.

a couple of nosy onlookers can’t help but observe the scene, your back pressed against the wall as you talk animatedly about your journey for a pet.

“i wanted a cat but i also want a dog,” you tell him, the light in your eyes as you talk about the possibility of orange tabby cats and golden retrievers. “maybe i’ll get both one day.”

yunho’s smiling down at you with such a fond softness in his eyes, like he’s hanging onto each and every word you say no matter how small or casual.

“they’ll be dating by next,” san says, bumping his arm into mingi playfully.

“nah,” the taller boy says, knowing that while his friend definitely likes you, he’s slower and shyer when it comes to romantic feelings. “give it two months. and that’s if we’re lucky.”

you never considered yourself to be a lucky person, although luck seemed to be on your side when you found this apartment complex in the first place, so you can’t say you’ve been cursed with terrible luck.

but it’s certainly how you feeling right now, in the dead of a january snowstorm and one of the only apartments in the complex with absolutely no power.

“it could be a problem with your breaker in particular,” the maintenance man said over the phone, “someone could come look at it tomorrow.”

but no power meant no heat despite the negative temperatures outside, all of your freshly cooked food rotting spoiled and no means of communicating with your cell phone currently on 1%.

“tomorrow?” you squeak, understanding the horrific conditions outside are making their job difficult but also not wanting to freeze to death. “would it be possible if someone could come-”

your phone light shines on your face before it promptly fades to black and dies, the only source of illumination in your dark apartment now gone as well.

you let out a sigh as you resist the urge to scream, attempting to move around your apartment without impaling your body parts.

you’re able to light the three wick candle on your table with little to no problems, collecting all the blankets and fuzzy socks you can find and placing them on your couch.

you have a long, cold night ahead of you with nothing to do but an attempt at rereading some old books and forcing yourself to sleep.

but it’s then, right before you sit down, that you remember all of the food in your fridge.

you used every last bit of your ingredients for this week’s meal prep, knowing that if you it goes bad, you’re not gonna have that much around the house until next week’s trip to the grocery store.

you guess that’s on you, though, foolishly forgetting to not go to the food store before a massive winter storm.

you notice a faint stream of light coming from under your front door on your journey to the kitchen, lips pursing to the side before you open it up with a squeak.

you peek over at yunho’s door besides yours to see light coming from underneath his - so he didn’t lose power it seems, the lucky bastard.

it takes you just as long to convince yourself to go over and ask if you can store the food in his fridge as it does to pack it all up into two containers, not wanting to inconvenience yunho and his storage any further than you are by asking.

you reluctantly knock on his door with the two containers in hand, forgetting you already have on about three layers due to your freezing apartment.

a smile immediately lights up his face when he sees you standing outside his door, small and cute and bundled up like you’re ready to brave the snow storm outside.

“hi, y/n,” he smiles, noticing the two containers of food in your hand.

“hi, yunho i’m sorry for bothering you,” you begin apologetically, a slight grimace on your face as you prepare yourself to ask him for a favor.

“i lost power for the night and just meal prepped the rest of my food for the week yesterday so would you be able to keep this in your fridge for me?” you get out quickly, for some reason feeling panicked and grimy.

“someone’s gonna come fix it tomorrow but when i tried to ask someone to come tonight, my phone died and now i just don’t want this to go to waste because i stupidly forgot to-”

“hey, hey, relax,” yunho says calmingly, his voice all kinds of sweet and soft as he takes the food from your hands immediately. “of course, y/n, no problem.”

you smile at him gratefully, slightly embarrassed by the desperation in your tone.

“thank you, i promise i’ll be back tomorrow to pick it up. i just don’t want everything rotting overnight.”

the wind howling outside causes both your eyes to widen, a sinking suspicion coming over him after he hears the horribly stormy conditions outside.

“wait... does that mean you have no heat?”

“no, i found a lot of blankets and fuzzy socks though,” you chuckle out humorlessly, gesturing down to your ridiculously layered outfit and purple socks. “also found some candles so as long as my food is taken care of, i don’t think it’ll be that-”

“stay with me, are you crazy,” he says, his eyes looking at you in disbelief. “you can’t sit there in the dark and freezing cold all night!”

“it’s okay, yunho, really,” you quickly insist, about ready to take off and into your apartment because you know how overwhelmingly nice your neighbor is. “i just didn’t want my food for the week to go to-”

“y/n, please,” he begs, the soft, sympathetic look in his eyes tugging at your heart. “it’s too cold tonight. even with blankets, you’ll be freezing. and your phone died, that’s dangerous.”

a small, touched smile covers your face, heart warming at how kind and thoughtful this man is - how could you not have the biggest crush on him still?

you thought after a few weeks that you’d be over it but he just makes it harder and harder the more you get to know him.

“i don’t wanna intrude,” you weakly protest, the heat coming from his apartment far too tempting right now.

“you’re not, i’m inviting you,” he says, dragging you in by the sleeve of your sweater and leave no room for protest.

he places the food back in your hold before his large hand rests on the open front door, peeking his head into the hallway to see your door still open.

you watch as he walks into the hallway before quickly reappearing a few seconds later, the sound of your apartment door closing echoing through the hallway.

“don’t worry,” he hums, smiling at you as he walks back into his apartment and closes the door. “i blew out your candle.”

you let out a soft, amused giggle as you look at the boy, his sweet smile mirroring yours as he takes back the food and walks toward the fridge.

“got any 4s?”

“go fish.”

“got any 7s?”

“go fish.”

“got any aces?”

“go fish.”

“okay, one of us has to be lying!” you squeal from the other side of the coffee table, yunho throwing his head back in laughter at your competitive, feisty side.

he couldn’t help but smile at the way your eyes lit up when you saw the pack of cards on his table, leftover from poker night with the san, mingi and wooyoung that rid him of his last $50.

his smile only grew wider when you told him the one family tradition you had, at least before the age of ten, was to play go fish - especially on nights when the electricity was turned off, although you left that part out.

in all your experience of playing go fish, however, you’d never seen a game go on for this long.

“i’m not, i swear!”

“so you’re telling me the one four i need is in that deck?” you ask, not even realizing you outed yourself until he throws you a wide-eyed, playful look. there’s a silent stare-off, able to hear a pin drop in his apartment.

your eyes are roaming each other carefully before down to the deck in complete ignorance of who’s turn it is to go.

you let out a squeal when chaos erupts afterward, the two of you frantically grabbing at the cards. you make a mess over the table as everything goes flying off, a melodic giggle leaving your mouth nearly causing him to stop his futile attempts at grabbing the next card.

it should be considered unsportsmanlike, really, for you to unknowingly use your cute giggle and wide, happy eyes against him.

you just get even happier when you grab at the desired card, flipping it over and letting out a squeal when you’re lucky enough to flip over the last remaining four in the deck.

“i got it!” you squeal happily, yunho at a terrible loss as he sees all your matches lined up in front of you. he can’t even be sad about it though, accepting defeat as he throws down his cards.

“that was probably the longest game of go fish ever,” he says, stretching out his long arms; you guys had played several rounds but that one had to have lasted over forty five minutes.

probably because you two kept getting distracted, babbling about stories of friends and family or the real pet fish yunho won at a fair that lived for three and a half years.

“i know right,” you giggle, picking up the cards from the floor as you start to tidy up his house. you ignore his pleas to leave it alone and let him clean up instead, your head shaking as you continue to clean the mess you helped make.

you hand him the deck a card a few moments later, your fingers grazing as he takes them from his hand.

“thanks,” he smiles at you, his eyes roaming your slightly flushed face.

he’s never had you in his apartment for longer than ten minutes, never had you so close to him with your bright smile and cute giggle. it’s proving to be very trying for him already, trying to keep you entertained and himself distracted so he doesn’t do something, or say something, he regrets.

a silence hangs in the air as you look up at from your spot on the couch, about to make a comment about something, anything, when your stomach decides to do it for you in the form of a growl.

it’s embarrassing and makes an awkward giggle leave your mouth, a handsome smirk crossing his face as his eyebrow quirks up playfully.

“hungry?”

“just for a snack,” you mumble shyly, in disbelief you’re still hungry after your left over pizza. “i ate about four slices of pizza before.”

he lets out a low chuckle as he rises to his feet, sock-covered feet padding over to see kitchen where he holds up a big tub of chocolate chip cookie dough.

“wanna make cookies? i was prepared for the storm tonight, unlike some of us.”

you’re so excited at the prospect of making cookies that you ignore his snide, teasing comment, letting out a happy gasp as you rush over to him.

the two of you stand side-by-side as you prep the oven and cookies, rolling the cold dough between your hands. he makes the cookies a lot bigger than yours, an obvious difference in who made which ones on the baking sheet.

“they kind of look like us,” he remarks playfully, a loud giggle leaving your mouth as you poke his arm.

you two linger in the kitchen once the cookies are in the oven, sharing shy smiles and softly spoken words with the scent of chocolate and warmth in the air.

you thank him again for allowing you to stay in his warm house for the night, grateful for his ample food and running refrigerator.

“it’s kind of crazy since we’re literal neighbors,” you speak aloud, your hip leant against the cabinets. “i didn’t even know that could happen.”

“i know, right,” he chuckles, his smile and eyes getting softer as he looks down at you. “but i’m happy you decided to stay. i wouldn’t want you there alone in the dark and cold.”

and perhaps that’s the bare minimum. that someone wouldn’t want their neighbor, someone considered an acquaintance or even a friend, to be without heat or food in a snowstorm.

but to you, it’s something you’ve never had before.

you’d spent far too many nights cold and hungry where nobody cared if that was the case. it’s why you so often escaped to the rooftop, away from the loud voices and looming presences that made living there just a little too difficult.

it’s why you blurt out, “why?” not meaning to sound as brash and sudden as you do but it’s just something that gets to you sometimes. how kind and thoughtful and genuinely good jeong yunho is.

his eyebrows pull together but he’s still wearing a soft smile, his body inching just a little bit closer to you.

“what do you mean why?” he questions, cocking his head to the side like a confused puppy. “why didn’t i let you freeze to death?”

he tries to keep his tone light and teasing but feels like it falls flat when you give him a sad smile. he thinks it would’ve fooled anyone else, a person who basically hadn’t fallen in love with your smile in five months, but it doesn’t fool him.

he doesn’t know what or why something is bothering you, how your mood seemed to change after his reassurance, but he just wants to make sure, above all, that you’re okay and comfortable.

he doesn’t realize how close his body is to yours until you’re looking up at him, your head just meeting the top of his chest in a way that makes him wanna protect you even more.

his eyes roam every part of your face, wondering just how warm your skin is or if your hair is as soft as it looks.

this would probably be the perfect time to confess his feelings to you.

to tell you that he wanted you over tonight because he likes you. that he’s really, really come to like you over these past few months of getting to know you and he wants to know you more.

he wants to take you on a date and show you off to the world and maybe one day, if things go well, introduce you as his neighbor turned girlfriend.

he wants to make sure you’re never cold or alone in your apartment again, that you know you could always come to him for anything whether it be reassurance or an egg for pumpkin bread.

but instead, he gives a slightly less intense, cheesy version. for now.

“you’re my favorite neighbor,” he begins quietly, not quite the confession he wants to make right now but the one he settles on. there’s an aroma of cookies and heat around you as you stare up at him, eyes so wide and curious, he has to swallow down a second rushed out, bumbling confession.

“i didn’t want anything happening to you, especially when i’m right here to make sure you’re safe.”

safety is always what you craved. safety and security and warmth, even if just for a fleeting moment.

and your fleeting moment proved to be tonight.

the ding of the oven as you both got the cookies out silently, pulled from a moment you both felt forming but was quickly pulled away from. you ate the gooey chocolate with quiet hums of “mmms,” and “ahhs,” softly padding your way over to his couch when he suggested watching a movie.

he sat on one end and you sat on the other, before your bodies eventually inched closer and closer to share a light blue throw blanket in the middle of the movie.

“this is really nice,” you comment as you touched the fabric, observing the intricate stitching on the soft blanket.

“yeah? my mom made it for me actually,” he tells you, watching closely as you play with the blanket between your fingers. he wants to reach out and just hold your hand, feel your smaller one in his and see just how much they fit.

“when i first moved out, she was slightly distraught,” he chuckles out, remembering the dramatics that were his mom’s tears and demands to visit once a week. “i was the first one to move out and she didn’t know what to make of it. i swear she brought me over food every day for the first six months.”

your heart feels heavy as you hear him talk, not only because of the fond moments between parent and child but because of the love in his eyes as he talks about it.

how, even though he’s complaining about it, it’s obvious there’s a love and affection there that you, yourself, could never understand or reciprocate in your own life.

“that’s really sweet,” you comment, his gaze catching that sad smile once again.

it causes his heart to drop, a slight sinking feeling in his stomach as he tries to understand what made you that way. are you uncomfortable here with him, just a few inches away from each other under the shared blanket?

or is it something more, the topic of conversation regarding parents and living alone and all things deeper and more personal.

“me and my parents were never really closed,” you find yourself saying.

you don’t even mean to blurt out the words but it’s like one second it’s silent and then the next, it’s not.

the next you’re telling him about how you couldn’t wait to get out. how fighting and loneliness and the cold was a big part of your life growing up, how you got so used to it, it’s taken you a while to adjust to a normal life.

you’re still trying to adjust to a normal life, honestly.

“i don’t know why i just told you all of that,” you confess awkwardly, the blush on your cheeks causing his heart to soar in chest - he likes you, he really really likes you and now he won’t ever be able to let go of these feelings.

“but... i just wanna thank you,” you tell him, embarrassed that you somehow managed to make the conversation and vibe like this. “you and san and wooyoung and mingi made the adjustment a lot easier for me. but you, especially.”

“oh? with all my eggs and sugar?”

you let out a soft giggle as some of your anxiety eases, your eyes flicking toward his to see, despite his teasing, his eyes are 100% serious and locked on you.

“yes, definitely that,” you smile, biting down on your lip as you look back down on the blanket.

“but amongst other things too. it was funny meeting you on the rooftop, actually, because that’s always where i felt most comfortable. i’d always escape there but i’d be alone. it was nice... it’s been nice having someone, i guess.”

it feels like you could just about die from embarrassment, oversharing with the most handsome man you’ve developed a massive crush on about your tragic tales of a broken home and pretentious love for the roof.

but then he inches just a bit closer to you, placing his hand atop yours on his mother’s soft blanket, and just smiles at you. everything about him warm and soft and sweet, making you feel the safest and coziest you’ve ever felt in your life.

“if you’ll keep allowing me up there, i promise i’ll come every time,” he promises softly, the pounding in your chest and butterflies in your stomach overwhelming you to the severest degree.

your cheeks are burning and you’re positive he can feel the frantic beating in your chest but you try to keep it together. smile at him with a a breathy little giggle, tell him that while you love that he’s asking, you have no control over who does and doesn’t go on the roof.

he lets out a soft chuckle as he pinches your arm gently, the hand on your arm slowly falling down until your fingers are just grazing.

closer and closer and closer until they’re locked around one another, both of you eternally grateful for the lights being off because of the burning on your cheeks.

he wakes up around 2 a.m. to the bright tv blasting, a heavy ache in his bladder and your head on his shoulder.

it takes him a moment to remember where he is and what’s going on around him, the events of the night quickly swarming back when he peeks down at your sleeping face.

you look so peaceful and at ease in your sleep, eyelashes brushing against your cheeks and your lips pressed into a firm line.

he wanted to kiss you for half the night, every time you giggled or moved closer to him or asked him a question about the movie getting distracted by your lips or pink cheeks.

he felt an immense amount of happiness at the fact you allowed yourself to be vulnerable with him, that you were still here beside him and so comfortably sleeping against him.

told him things about your life and family that make him wanna be there for you even more now.

he doesn’t wanna move, he doesn’t think even the snowstorm crashing through his apartment could get him to tear himself away from you, but the embarrassment of pissing his pants right beside you on this couch outweighs everything.

his eyes roam your pretty, peaceful face on more time, moving a stray piece of hair with his long fingers and watching as you stir. press yourself further into his hand and let out the quietest of groans, he has to stop himself from proclaiming his undying love for you on the spot.

it only gets worse when he remembers he gave you his clothes to wear. noticing just before the movie ended, you were picking at your leggings that stuck to your skin uncomfortably.

“do you want a change of clothes?” he had asked, noticing your discomfort and only wanting a little bit to see how much his shirts engulfed you. “i have sweatpants and a clean t-shirt sitting in my dryer right now.”

you took up his offer for two reasons: your leggings were sticking to your ass and there was nothing you wanted more than to wear this man’s clothes. feel the soft material on your skin and have his manly, teakwood scent surround your very being.

but right now, as he stares down at you and attempts to keep you as comfortable as possible, it feels as if this might’ve been too much for him.

seeing you wrapped up in his clothes and on his couch so comfortably, moving your smaller body so you’re laid out on the cushions and resting your head on the pillow.

your eyes pop open, confused and in a daze, as you look around at the unfamiliar surroundings and sound of movement. you smile softly when you see yunho’s sleepy, pink face at face-level with you, his large body knelt down beside you on the couch.

“sorry for waking you,” he whispered into the dark, the tv and snow reflecting outside the only source of light. “i had to pee and wanted to make you comfortable.”

“it’s okay, thank you,” you mumble, stretching out your arms when you realize the sleeves are well past your hands. “forgot i changed into your clothes.”

“yeah,” he chuckles lightly, not being able to help the way his eyes roam over you.

even sleepy in the dark and the daze that you’re in, you’re able to see the slightest bit of hunger in his eyes. the way they trail over your body slowly and surely, taking in the way his shirt engulfs your figure and looks against your skin.

how if you stood up, he’d see the way the pants are baggy and making your smaller figure looking even more short and petite and cute.

it makes your stomach flip and swoop uncontrollably, your own eyes staring at his lips and picturing what they’d feel like on yours.

“i hope that’s okay. they’re a little big on you.”

you let out a soft, quiet giggle, adjusting your head on the pillow so you’re staring up at him even closer.

“it’s okay,” you assure, tongue peeking out to lick at your dry, hopefully not crusty lips. “i like it. i like them.”

it takes everything in him not to let out some sort of growl, throw all of his sweet and nice boy caution to the wind and confess to you how much he likes them too.

how much he likes seeing you in them and how much more (or less) he wants to see you in them.

but because the time isn’t right, because he knows for sure the time isn’t right and he wants something a lot more pure and honest with you, he doesn’t say anything.

he wishes you a goodnight after a nearly ten-minute bickering fest back and forth, yunho offering you his bed three times before you eventually flipped over and put your back to him.

he let out a deep chuckle as he ran his hand through your hair instinctively, smoothing out the parts that stuck up in your sleep, before bidding you one final goodnight.

it was around 10:00 when he woke to the smell of bacon, eggs and pumpkin bread. walking out of his bedroom to see you there still clad in his clothes and your hair in a messy bun.

you jumped when you noticed his presence perched against the doorframe, a wide smile on his face when you let out the softest but harshest of curses.

“what’s all this?”

“i made you breakfast. and your very own loaf of pumpkin bread.”

a soft smile covers his face when instead of looking over the food that looks and smells delicious, he looks at you. standing there smiley and sweet, in clothes that morph your body and make you smell like him.

he feels grateful for the extra bit of counter space he has when he places a hand on your waist, lifting you off your feet with ease and plopping you right down on the granite.

your eyes are wide and your heart is racing but you’re staring right at him, happiness and excitement swelling in your chest when you catch the look in his eyes - you thought you made it up last night in a dream-like daze but you’re still seeing it right now.

a certain kind of softness mixed with desire and fondness, the way his eyes take in every part of your face before finally landing on your lips. the very same way you dreamed of him last night, with his lips against yours and a sweet smile on his face.

“thank you, neighbor,” he mumbles with a smile, voice low and deep and making your stomach swoop dangerously. “did i mention you were my favorite?”

“you might’ve,” you respond breathlessly, all too aware of the way he’s leaning in closer and closer until you’re pushed flush against the cabinets.

his large body is covering yours but he doesn’t make any moves until you do, your bodies naturally drifting closer and closer together until, finally, you’re the one to do it.

press your lips against his so so hesitantly, scared and unfamiliar about making the first move but wanting him to know you wanted to kiss him - you needed to kiss him, or you would’ve gone crazy.

he smiles against your lips as he deepens the kiss, keeping you perched right on the counter as his hands rest on the sides of your legs. he doesn’t make any moves to touch you further or deepen the kiss, allowing it to be sweet and soft and as chaste as could be.

you both pull back and stare at each other with soft smiles and pink cheeks, silence lingering between the both of you before you let out soft chuckles at the same time.

“do you kiss all your neighbors?” you finally ask, fighting the smirk threatening to make it’s way on your face. “or just your favorite ones?”

“just one,” he says, tapping the tip of your nose gently and feeling his heart jump when you smile widely at him. “just you.”

it’s 2:00 on the snowy rooftop and bright summer sun when you hear the heavy metal door squeak open, turning around to see your handsome, smiley neighbor coming toward you with two mugs of hot chocolate in hand.

you take it from him with a soft “thank you,” pressing up on your toes to peck a sweet, soft kiss to his cheek.

it was only fitting that you had your first date where you two first met, shy smiles and nervous jitters turned soft pecks and loud giggles as you got to know the sweet, handsome neighbor you just knew you were gonna fall for.

tag list: @mochibabycakes @atinyarmyx1 @middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich @baekhvuns @marksflvr @bunbaebae @markleeyeosang @inkigayeo @nlost21 @hyunjeansuniverse @cherryeonii

#happy bday mr yunho <3 #this was supposed to be 3k jdvkkvd #yunho #yunho fluff #ateez #ateez fluff #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #yunho scenarios #yunho imagines

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damn-stark · 3 years

Text

Ch.10: I Hear a Symphony

Chapter 10 of Cherry

A/N: I really hope you all enjoyed the chapter, I loved how it came out. *cue in song Bundle of Joy from Inside Out*

Warning- ANGST, LONG CHAPTER!, Talks of injury and loss and grief, violence, FLUFF!!, swearing, SLOWBURN ;)

Pairing- Jean Kirstein x reader,

Episodes- 2x36-2x37

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

Good and bad memories tried to surface and distract your mind from the dooming thoughts that plagued your mind, but you were persistent in pushing both away. It was too painful to relish in either. Instead you basked in the feeling of the setting sunlight beams kissing your skin ever so gently, whilst the chilly evening breeze flew past your body and howled in your ear.

The sound of Titans, cries of other soldiers echoed everywhere, but you tried your best to drown it all out as you thought you were going to fall into your death. You hated the darkness, but you welcomed its deafening sound in your ears. Because at least hearing nothing was better than hearing the chaos that surrounded you. And you didn’t know why you were so willing to embrace death. Maybe because it was better than trying to get your hopes up with fake scenarios where you lived, when you knew there was nothing you could do. Or maybe because dying would make the heartbreaking pain stop.

But nevertheless, you were too hopeful, or too hopeless. Because as the smell of a Titans breath rushed in your nose and their drool splashed on your face, suddenly wire wrapped around you and reeled you out of the Titans hot mouth, pulling you instead into the secure and the warmth of someone’s tight embrace—Jeans tight embrace.

After your bodies crash into one another, suddenly time didn’t move as slow as you felt it did seconds ago, this time it moved too fast. Now every feeling you pushed back returned, while the chaos that the day had turned into welcomed you back. Pain also returned to your body, it was a persistent factor as the quick speed that Jean had moved in got out of control and made him crash onto the earth with you still secured in his arms. You both rolled on the grass until you both finally came to a stop.

Time after you finally stopped moved at its normal speed, unlike your pounding heart. You finally peeled your eyes open one by one and felt relief wash over you as you saw the grass and dirt in a much closer perspective. You couldn’t rejoice in the fact that you were safe, because that wasn’t true, you were still surrounded by mindless Titans. What you did do though was stay in Jean’s embrace a bit longer, just like he kept his arms around you, finding that the both of you were actually embracing the fact that you were alive, that he got to save you in time.

You stayed that way for a minute longer, it felt like longer, but it was only a minute, or even a few seconds longer. After that you quickly pulled away and met his shocked gaze, noticing his cheeks were a very soft shade of pink as he noticed you were on top of him. Jean didn’t say anything, he actually felt like his words ceased to exist from his head until you slid off him. He could find his composure after that and was quick to drop the…weird tension and instead slap his hands on your shoulders to begin pestering you. “Y/N, are you okay? Did that asshole hurt you?”

You shake your head and offer him a faint but assuring smile. “No he didn’t. I’m just a little bruised, but I’m fine.” You scan his body as he sits up, and let out a relieved breath when you find no injuries on his body. “What about you?” You ask as you lean towards him with your eyebrows deeply furrowed in concern. “Are you okay?”

Jean doesn’t hesitate to nod to assure your worry, pushing himself to his feet and helping you on your own. “Come on, let's get on a horse,” he said as his fingers slid off your wrist. “And stay close.” He turns his head to shoot you a warning glare, his once softened brown eyes, now as intense as usual. “I’m serious, don't pull anything reckless. Need I remind you that you don’t have your gear on.”

“I know,” you scoff with a pointed glare. “I’m not some suicidal maniac.”

Jean looks to you and the corner of his lips twitch before he eventually shoots you another warning look and then focuses back on your surroundings to make sure no Titans get close. But even when you finally got on a horse, safety was still not a guaranteed thing with chaos in every perimeter. When you look over your shoulder you see that Reiner was still surrounded by mindless Titans all trying to tear him apart. And even if you had the instinct to still worry about him, you couldn’t focus on that feeling and instead you fully focused on who he still had in captivity.

“What about Eren?” You ask Jean from the top of your horse. “We—”

“No,” Jean cuts you off instantly, “we nothing. You have no gear. And there's too many Titans surrounding Reiner, for everyone to be over there,” he sighs as he follows your line of vision. “But I think—” Jean suddenly cuts himself off and pushes his horse to step forward a bit as he catches something he quickly points out. “Look! Damn, Commander Erwin really is a devil.”

You make the horse move beside Jean and you catch only the final act of the scene Jean had seen. Through the chaos you see Erwin falling down to his horse with his blade in one hand, while the other arm you noticed was missing. It was an unbelievable sight, but it was true and not some hallucination from your exhaustion. “How the hell,” you mutter as you watch Erwin land on his horse, seconds before drifting your eyes to the sky after noticing Eren in Mikasa’s grasp. That sight also left you incredibly awestruck because she was injured but still fighting. “Incredible.”

And after Mikasa finally had Eren with her on her horse, without hesitation Erwin rode forward with his balde raised over his head to yell out a reassuring command, “All soldiers, retreat!”

Doing as he said, you and what was left of the Scouts rode forward to return home, and you didn’t dare look behind you anymore, you couldn’t handle it. All you wanted now was to get home, eat and sleep, you didn’t want to think of what happened or the change that had happened in a single day. You didn’t want to think about him, or what he did…even if you knew that once you lay on your bed and were surrounded by silence, that what he did would come to mind, even if you wanted to avoid it, every single memory and every ounce of pain would plague your mind and make you cry to your pillows. And maybe it was better to let go of it, feel everything once you were under your sheets.

But that time couldn’t come quicker because before anyone could get far a Titan was hurled your way, landing just a few feet away from the squad, disrupting the formation and causing you all to come to an abrupt stop as to not fall, or crash into someone else through the screen of smoke that came from the dead Titan. You tried to look behind you to see what sort of trouble was caused because of the Titan, but you couldn’t see anything through the smoke, not even Jean who had been riding beside you—once part of the smoke, and dirt had cleared from your phearial view, all you caught was Reiner throwing Titans like some mad man. Your worry after that heightened. Not only for you, but for Mikasa who had been injured with weaponless Eren riding with her. You worried for Erwin who was now missing an arm, for Jean, Sasha, Connie, Armin and the rest of the Scouts.

However you could do nothing to help any of them—“shit,” you grumble. You move further, but stop soon thereafter as you see Mikasa and Eren in the distance, both off the horse they had been on and a Titan heading directly towards them. “Shit.” You repeat again, clenching your reins and signaling your horse to move towards them.

“Y/N!” You hear Jean shout. “What the hell did I tell you!” Both him and Armin fall at your sides and catch what you had seen, all three of you noticing the same man from earlier that day, Hannes, with them too. “Stay close, y/n.” Jean repeats as you all continue to ride forward the trio ahead, catching the old man swinging around the Titan that had been heading their way. “Give the old man backup!”

Right as the three of you sped up however a loud whooshing sound catches your attention. You look over your shoulder and see that Reiner had hurled yet more Titans your way, you then have to stop as to not fall from the impact—“Reiner?” Armin gasped as you both looked over at him in the distance. “What’s he doing?! Does he not care if Eren is eaten?!”

“He does,” you answer him, “he just doesn’t want us to get away.”

“Don’t get in our way, you big sack of shit!” Jean bellows angrily before the three of you continue towards Eren and the other two. But before you could reach who you’re running towards, you’re unaware of the Titan hurling your way until it’s too late. Armin and you catch it once it flies over your heads, but when you try to warn Jean about it, the Titan crashes too close in front of him and causes him to fall out of his horse. Jean crashes onto the ground with the back of his head smacking the ground first, the harsh impact makes him go limb, and causes your own heart to clench as your eyes widen out of fear of the worst.

“Jean!” You bellow as you jump off your horse without thinking, not caring for what could be lurking around, or what could crash nearby. Armin called out for you, he wanted you to be careful since you were defenseless, but all you cared about was Jean. Knowing if he was alright was your priority, it took over everything else and made it all less significant. It was selfish, you knew, but you were afraid to lose him like you lost Marco. “Jean!”

Come on please be alright.

You fell beside him and quickly cradled him in your arms, not fretting to lift him up to bring his chest close to your ear so you could try to hear his heartbeat—come on, come on, not you too, please not you too—you kept thinking as you pressed your ear against his chest, and held in your breath so that sound wouldn't get in the way of what you were trying to hear.

“Y/N—”

You raise your finger in front of Armin's face to cut him off as you anxiously wait, finding yourself closing your eyes while you wait for what feels like an eternity. You longed to hear what you craved so anxiously that once the sound of his heart beating echoed in your ears, it felt like music to your ears. You were filled with overwhelming relief and happiness that a soft whimper escaped your lips as you released that breath of air you had trapped in your lungs, feeling a smile tug on your lips as well. “He’s alright,” you assure Armin. “He’s alive.”

“Okay,” Armin nods, letting out a relieved breath of his own before his hands wrap around your arm to help you to your feet as you had Jean unconscious in your arms. “We—” Armin cuts himself off as he catches the Titan coming your way over his shoulder. He’s then filled with dread and worry since he sees that none of your horses were nearby. You were all left defenseless and in more danger than before. “Come on,” he urges you as he pulls you away from the open field and stops under a tree.

Armin let’s go of your arm and steps in front of you to try his best at protecting Jean and you from the Titan who posed a threat before you. You wanted to try anything, you wanted to help Armin as he waved his blade at the Titan, but all you could do was hear the chaos that was happening around, feel the thumps of the Titans stomps as they rattled the earth below you; but all you did was watch soldiers die by Titans, notice the old man they called Hannes get torn apart by the Titan he had tried to kill. You caught Mikasa and Eren on the ground, seeming to share a moment they probably thought was their last as that same Titan reached for them too.

All that came to mind again was if this was the end? After all the trouble Reiner had gone through to take you with him, to keep you safe, now you were closer to death again all because of his doings, not only you but every single one of your friends—his friends once upon a time too.

Death seemed certain again, and even if the beautiful painted evening sky brought you comfort in this close brink to death. Death was still something you didn’t want. That no one wanted. But what could you do but face it?

Nothing.

You were weaponless, injured, exhausted and stuck with Jean unconscious in your arms and Armin trying to protect the both of you with a hand grabbing yours while with the other he waved his sword at the mindless Titan. It wouldn't do anything, he knew that, but he was trying to keep you safe because he was afraid that if he left, if even for a second, that another Titan would grab Jean and you while he was too far to do something about it. You’d do the same you did admit, so you didn’t urge him to do something else. You held onto his hand and found comfort in that too.

But nevertheless, as death was just around the corner, suddenly everything went silent, every chaotic movement came to an abrupt stop and something in the air seemed to shift. The eyes of the Titan that had been in front of you shifted and looked directly past you, it’s body freezing for a split second before it stood up and it, and every other Titan that surrounded the area went running past you. The sudden change left you with your mouth agape and when you looked at what they were suddenly focusing on, the sight of them pouncing on the Titan that had once threatened Eren, and Mikasa only surprised you furthermore.

“What the,” you gasp, unable to finish your sentence from your disbelief.

“I think Eren did that,” Armin mused whilst he stood up with his hand still around yours.

You stood up too and couldn’t tear your eyes from the gory scene. “What exactly did he do?”

“I don’t know,” Armin shrugged, “but whatever it was, it has the Titans distracted,” he paused and tugged you with him. “Let’s go before they finish their meal.”

Not hesitating to listen to what Armin instructed, you hurried and climbed onto approaching horses and secured Jean behind you so he wouldn't fall. Seconds after though, there was another shift, this time instead of eating the Titan, their attention changed to Reiner and Bertholdt, and they began chasing them away, leaving the Scouts goal to once again come into play—“Full retreat!” Commander Erwin shouted at the top of his lungs once he saw Eren secured on a horse.

Again you tried your best not to look behind you as you continued your path back home, but it was impossible to keep yourself from at least stealing a last glance back. Doing so as expected hurt every fiber of your body and broke your heart more. You once would’ve been worried and panicked to help Reiner, but now, as your eyes fell on his Titan all you saw was a traitor and an enemy. As heartbreaking as it was to urge that thought in your mind, it was true and you couldn’t shake it off. The one thing you did feel pity for was seeing Ymir return towards the struggling pair, you didn’t know why she did so considering Historia was riding with all of you, but she did, and unknowingly it was the last time any of you would see her.

——

“Cherry!”

You pull your eyes away from Commander Erwin being taken away by the medical staff, to see Levi hastily approaching you.

The sight of his face brings a small tired smile to your face, but the exhaustion doesn’t keep you from meeting him halfway and throwing your arms around his neck to pull him in for a much needed embrace. Levi is as always surprised by the gesture, but he, as always, returns the embrace. “How are ya, kid?” He whispers as he moves a hand to the back of your neck to keep you close. “What the hell happened? You had me worried.”

Your bottom lip trembles at his questions, but you fight every nerve in your body to keep yourself from breaking down in front him. Instead you hold onto him tighter and bury your head in the crook of his neck, proceeding to mumble out your response against his shoulder. “I’m okay. I’m,” you pause to draw out a shaky breath. “okay.” You pull away, and offer him an assuring smile that he couldn’t tell was forced and hiding your real emotions behind it because it was well hidden by the darkness that the night brought. For once you were grateful for that.

“Actually,” Hange interjected out of nowhere. “Y/N, might’ve suffered a mild concussion considering that she hit the back of her head after Reiner, and Bertholdt transformed.”

Levi’s eyes snap towards Hange, and the grip he had around your arms tightened as they continued. “She also might have gotten a cut, or a small bump.”

“Hange,” you hiss as you pull away from Levi, and shoot them an intimidating and burning glare.

Said person just shrugs and excuses their reason for saying the truth to Levi. “I’m sorry, but I had to, I knew you wouldn't have said anything Cherry. You would’ve had me worried.”

You cross your arms over your chest and huff out, “tsk. I’m okay.” You begin to walk away from the pair and avert Levi’s scolding glare. “I’m going to go check on Jean now. Okay? Goodnight.”

“Hey, brat where you are going.” Levi protests after you, preparing to tackle you down if the need arises. “Come back here.”

You wave at them both and quicken your pace to run from their overbearing worry, but Hange is quick to grab your arm and drag you away with them both. “Come on,” they say, “let’s get you bandaged, fed and put to bed.”

“Huh? I’m not a child,” you sneer through gritted teeth.

“No,” Hange agrees, parting their lips to continue with a lighthearted comment but getting interrupted by Levi beforehand.

“But you are acting like one.” He scoffs. “And if you don’t want to be treated like one, cooperate.”

Hange leans their head towards you to bring their lips close to your ear to whisper something Levi wouldn't hear. “You know what I think?” They smile softly, “I think he loves treating you like a little girl. He misses it.”

You glance down at their hand around your arm and then meet their gaze, raising a quizzical brow to silently question their own actions with a simple look they understood by proceeding to just drop your arm with a nervous giggle. “Why don’t we hurry on up before you collapse on us, yeah?”

You sigh, and hide your threatening smile. “Whatever.”

——

“Fuck.” He groans softly, “what a fucking headache.” He rubs his forehead with the pad of his fingers and let’s out another soft groan while he groggily sits up in his bed. “Fuck.” He lowers his hands and rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands, dropping them to his sides seconds after and letting out a deep sigh as he stretched out every sore limb he could. His eyesight slowly cleared and he fully took in the small room that wasn’t his, but was forced to stay in for an injury he thought irrelevant. He thought of laying back down for a minute longer, but as he dropped his hands to the mattress a sound he suddenly picked up on in the room made him freeze. He was afraid to turn and identify what it was he heard, but he gives himself a quick confidence boost and slowly turns his head to see…you.

At first he thought this was some dream, like a very weird dream, but after he rubs his eyes again and his vision clears, he still sees you asleep on a chair. Regardless, he still didn’t believe you were here, so he closed his eyes again to see if it would clear things up. But no, everything was undeniably clear, you were balled up on a chair with drool running down your chin, and a hand hanging down from said chair. His eyes followed what your fingers hovered over and he wasn’t surprised to see a book you had dropped after he assumed you passed out.

But, why? Why were you here?

He was surprised to say the least, he was also beginning to feel something else he couldn’t describe, but he didn’t try to investigate that further when his question still remained unanswered. But he also didn’t try to wake you up to ask you directly, he saw you too peacefully sleeping in the uncomfortable wooden chair to try. Instead he quietly swung his legs over the bed to slide off the edge and slide his feet into some slippers.

However once he was on his feet, that's when he faced a small predicament. He didn’t know what to do, he’s never had someone asleep in his room; he knew he didn’t want to leave you alone in the room, that’d be rude, but he was truly lost. His eyes scanned the room to try and find what to do, finding no solution until they landed on your book on the floor. He then thought of picking it off the floor, carefully making sure to tiptoe backwards to throw said object on his bed, it was then that he finally noticed a small box on the bedside table.

He caught himself staring at it for a moment out of curiosity, seeing a small note attached to the box with his name elegantly written on the parchment. He walked towards it to reach for it, but before his fingers could touch the box, from the corner of his eyes he caught you waking up almost as if someone had scared you awake. He turns to face you and shortly thereafter it doesn’t take you long at all to sit up and face him too.

“Oh, Jean you’re awake, finally.” You greet him with a faint smile. “I’ve been waiting for some time now. You had me worried.”

Jean scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest. “Oh I’m sure you were very worried,” he remarks as he points to the drool dribbling down your chin. Your face burns and you’re quick to take out your cloth from your cardigans pocket to wipe it all off.

“Not like you can speak,” you retort and point at his bed head

Jean quickly brushes his fingers through his hair and does the best he can to fix it before he gives up and just ends up looking at you again. “Whatever,” he sighs out, “it doesn’t matter. What are you doing here?”

You stretch out your arms and let out a long yawn before you stand on your feet and stretch the rest of your limbs, hearing bones crack after that uncomfortable nap. “Well after waking up from some sleep, I came to make sure you’d wake up.” You explain as you walk past Jean, feeling his eyes follow your figure as you stop by his bedside table.

“Why?” He couldn’t help but ask.

You pick the box off the table and slowly turn to meet his gaze and give him an answer with a small smile on your features. “Because I was worried.”

Jean's eyes narrowed on you and he lets out a lighthearted scoff as if he had heard the most absurd thing ever.

“What?” You question with the box in your hands.

“So what?” Jean huffs out, “you waited for me to wake up to check if I was fine?” He leans towards you, showing that weird face he makes when he's mocking someone, before also letting out a breathless laugh. “You’re joking.”

“No,” you roll out slowly in confusion to his behavior. “Why would I be? I was worried for you Jean.” You tilt your head and your smile widens. “Is your head okay? Or are you suffering some sort of mild confusion after hitting your head?”

“No,” Jean scoffs out, whilst his eyes study your face to see if you’d crack and just laugh and say you were joking, to wait for the mocking remark, but when he noticed you weren’t joking, that your smile didn’t fall and the genuine look in your eyes didn’t didn’t change, he was the one that changed. The amusement slowly fell from his face, and his eyes flickered away the intensity they usually carried to slowly widen and show the hundreds of different emotions racing in his mind. He couldn't believe what he heard. He knew you cared to some degree, because after all you were best friends, but he didn’t know you cared so much as to wait for him to wake up after getting hurt.

Jean just couldn’t believe that he actually had someone who cared for him like that. He had seen this gesture once not so long ago (like days ago), and he was upset—jealous, because he wanted that specific person to care for him like that, but once he saw that she never even batted an eye his way he got slightly upset. Yet, now he was slowly coming to realize, as you stood in front of him with the small box in your hands, and a sweet smile on your face, that he was always looking the wrong way, that he hadn’t noticed that the person who cared that much for him was right in front of him. You.

Jean saw you now.

He noticed your eyes seeming to gleam brighter by the sun's beams peeking through the window and his heart did this weird flip inside his chest, and your smile made his stomach…flutter. For the first time it seemed that he actually opened his eyes, it even seemed that every color that surrounded him grew brighter, more beautiful, he even swore he could hear a sweet and nice melody in his head, something he hadn’t felt before. No. It felt different before, not as exciting or heart racing. The only problem was that he didn’t know what it was that he was beginning to feel. He didn’t want the feelings to go away, but he couldn’t necessarily identify them yet. Could you?

“You-you w-were worried?” Jean stammered out. Not at all making it any obvious of what he felt—way to go Jean.

“Obviously,” you scoff as you squint your gaze on his stunned face. “Why wouldn't I be? Hey are you sure you’re okay, maybe you hit your head a little harder than expected.”

Jean snapped from his stupor, blinking to drop his gaze while he took a step back and assured your concern. “I’m fine.” Instead he chose to focus on the box in your hands. “What is that?”

“Oh, right,” you glance down at the box and push it towards him, lifting your gaze to meet his. “I made this for you. I know you hate getting pampered, but I wanted to make you a small care package.” You smile sweetly. “To thank you for saving me, and because you’re hurt.” You want to fiddle with your fingers due to how flustered you felt, but the box in your hands made it impossible. “There's some soup I made for the headache,” you smile wider and notice that not once has he pulled his gaze away. You only wondered what was going through his head. “Trust me it works, Hange would make it for me all the time. And there's also stuff for the pain and tea packets. Just don’t tell the others, okay? I didn’t make the rest any.”

“Oh,” Jean says while he took the box from your hands and lowered his head to hide the blush that crept on his cheeks. “Thank you. Shouldn’t you be getting one of these too? Considering.”

You scoff and walk past him to grab your book and silently judge his unmade bed. “I’ve been pampered enough. Levi wouldn't leave my side since I got back, and he also lectured me.” You stroke your chin and continue, “It’s good he doesn’t know why Reiner kidnapped me.”

“Why did he take you?” Jean probed.

You drop your hand to your side, and look at Jean over your shoulder and don’t answer with the full truth. “Cause he said they could use me in his hometown,” you shrug, “whatever that means.”

“Or was it because he’s obsessed?” Jean snapped bitterly.

You slowly turn on your heels to face him, but avoid his stare. “It doesn’t matter,” you deadpan. “He’s gone and he didn’t get what he wanted. None of that matters anymore.” You draw in a deep breath and feel your exhale tremble with emotions the subject quickly brought up, but you made sure to hide it all before Jean could pick up on it. You hadn’t let yourself think much of it. You knew it wasn’t ideal, you knew you were going to crack eventually and feel it all at once, but you didn’t want to face those feelings yet. You were just letting the pressure build. Unfortunately so.

“And how are you feeling about that?” Jean asks what you knew he’s been dying to know.

You shrug and clench onto your book. “I’m over it.” You offer him an assuring smile he doesn’t believe. “I’m fine—”

“Y/N,” he cuts you off, sounding a bit more demanding, “tell me.”

“Jean, I’m fine.” You insist and tug your smile wider. “Really. Now let’s go get breakfast, or what’s leftover.”

Jean stands in the middle of the room as he watches you walk to the door. He wants to press on the matter, but he also doesn't know how to really ask you of your feelings. So he lets it go. Even if he regrets it.

“Also,” you continue with a genuine grin as you wait for him to join you outside of the room. “Can we talk about how impressive it was when you swooped in to save Mikasa? I mean wow, you should be proud! I mean, I am.” You smirk and nudge his elbow once he falls beside you. “This might be the moment where she finally talks to you.”

“Heh,” he feigns a laugh. “Sure.” His eyes drift to your face and he can’t help but smile as he catches yours.

*1 WEEK LATER*

“In the past I've done things. Bad things that are irredeemable. Things that I’m ashamed of.”—“I guess I wanted to know,” he exhales deeply, “if you’d hate me if I told you what I’ve done. If you’d forgive me?”

It all made sense now. You understood the meaning behind Reiners words that played on a constant loop in your head, your own naiveness in that moment made you nauseous now. The memory of kissing him, of feeling butterflies every time he was close, or walked into a room made you feel disgusted. Not in him, but in yourself.

You wanted to forget, tear the memory of him from your brain and poison every happy piece of memory with the truth of what he was, but one week wasn't going to do that. Perhaps no measure of time was going to cure all the dreadful feelings that plagued your heart and mind. Keeping yourself from crying wasn’t as hard as trying to forget, but it was still a chore, you’ve managed to stop crying every time you were alone, but you still did so at night under your covers, and sometimes when the feelings got too heavy for you to carry, you had to escape to your own space. Like now.

The night was chilly, the skies were clear and showing off the beauty of the shining stars, but bitter and annoying wind gusted past your balled up body on top of the castle's walls. The tears that rolled down the curve of your cheeks were swept away by the gusts of wind that broke through the material of your sweater's hood to howl in your ears. You could also hear other sounds that accompanied the nighttime besides the wind, like crickets chirping on the ground, and leaves from the trees flapping about while everything else fell asleep to wait for the break of dawn. The only sound that stood out and you picked up on was the creak of the door as someone pushed it open.

You debated looking back, you didn’t want to talk to anyone right now, but your curiosity got the best of you and you carefully peeked your eyes over your shoulder to spot that Jean had been the culprit of breaking the silence of the night. He didn’t say anything, he stepped past the door and let it close behind him. You could see his eyes try to find your face under your hood, but you turned your head before he could see your tears and puffy red eyes. And since he didn’t say a word, you broke his silence. “I saw him ride in, I’ll talk to him later.”

The sound of Jean’s lips parting sounded in your ears, but he still couldn’t find words. He just knew right away that the usual chirpy demeanor you carried wasn’t present; you didn’t greet him with a smile, a witty joke, or a stupid nickname. He even noticed how you were sitting, it was something that would pass by him before, but now as he saw you hugging your knees and resting your chin on your kneecaps, it clicked that you did this when you were upset. Seeing you like you were, made him want to speak up, but he couldn’t figure out what exactly to say. Or really he didn’t know what to say. All he thought of doing was joining you on top of the castle wall.

Albeit once you heard him sit beside you, you turned your head and looked the other way to hide your eyes. “Do you need something?” You mutter.

“I noticed you missed dinner,” he finally managed to speak as he handed you an apple.

You take the apple off his hands before you shrug and clear your throat. “I wasn't hungry.” You sigh and try to push him away to be alone again. “I’ll be inside in a minute.”

Jean glances at the ground below, noticing it was a far distance from where you both were. He couldn’t help but wonder how you found sitting up here so comforting, with one look down he already felt his stomach churn. Yet he didn’t move to walk away like you wanted, he scooted closer to you and continued to pester you. “What are you doing up here all alone?”

“Looking at the stars,” you mumble, your eyes definitely not even getting a glimpse of the sky.

“Oh? Well you know the stars are in the sky, right? Not on the wall.” Jean said, mustering an airy laugh that made you turn your head to look ahead instead.

And with your hood on Jean couldn’t tell if your eyes were lifted, but it did give him the chance to lean in and grab your chin to turn your head so you would be facing him instead. That’s when he took note of what you wanted to hide. He saw the tear streaks on your face, your red gleaming eyes and the sad frown on your lips. Knowing he noticed made you want to cry more—stupid—you thought whilst you shoved his hand away and looked away again.

“What’s wrong?” He instantly asked in a more firm voice.

“Nothing,” your voice quivers. You put the apple away in your hoodie pocket to rest your chin on your knees, whilst you bite the inside of your cheeks for a brief moment to fight the need to cry at the simple yet meaningful question. You had to close your eyes, but that just made the tears roll down. “I’ll be in a minute.” You insist. But he doesn’t move, he stays quiet. And even if his stubbornness made you angry, you were glad he didn’t listen. It lets you open your eyes and finally lift your head after a couple of quiet minutes to ask a question. Or at least the beginnings of one. “Jean, you said you’d be honest with me right?” You sniffle and let your eyes drag to the corner to see him already looking at you.

He nods, “right.”

“Well,” you swallow thickly, “then please be honest. Do you think I’m strong?”

Jean blinks and his eyebrows furrow to express confusion and concern to the vulnerability in your voice and face. It made him answer with a stupid answer instead of with the truth that he already had in his head. “What?”

You hook your fingers together and look away from him to clarify what you thought was clear. “Do you honestly think I’m strong? I asked Levi, y’know, but well of course he’s going to answer with what I want to hear, he raised me. So please be honest with me.” You draw out a shaky breath before looking at him again to finish your sentence. “Don’t lie.”

Jean nods and parts his lips to assure you with the truth in a tone of voice that was soft at first. It sounded weird to hear him speak like that….yet you couldn’t help but like it. “Of course. I mean,” his eyes widened with excitement. “You’re just like Captain Levi and Mikasa. Somehow. So yeah I think you are strong.” He wanted to add a lighthearted and joking comment but he saved it for later instead.

Nonetheless you still scoff and look away from him. So maybe he should’ve added the joke—“if I was like them, I would’ve done what was right, I would’ve known that Reiner and Bertholdt were our enemies all along.” You began to rant with anger seeping through your voice the more you continued. “We could’ve avoided all those deaths. Erwin wouldn’t have lost his arm if I was strong. But I’m not. Because even if I’m physically strong, I’m actually weak. I’ve always been. I mean,” you huff out with frustration. “I couldn’t even fathom the thought that they were traitors even if that’s what I was sent to do. And I should've known,” you scoff. “I mean…” you pause and shake your head. “I was close to Reiner. He said stuff that should’ve stood out. But it didn’t because I trusted him.”

“So what?” Jean quieres after, “you’re weak because you trusted people?”

You turn your head and meet his gaze to answer, but before you could agree he continued. “You’re weak because you’re kind?” Jean doesn’t let you answer, he exhales deeply and holds your gaze, his own voice expressing frustration and a hint of sadness. “They were our friends, and you liked Reiner as more than…one. I don’t think that makes you weak. Caring doesn’t make you weak. I,” he pauses and swallows thickly. Through the light of the stars above, you saw his cheeks turn pink, you didn’t know why, but they did. And instead of continuing with that comment, he flickered his eyes away and smoothly changed the subject. “If you think that makes you weak, then we all are because we all trusted them. But you’re not weak, I mean,” he smiles and slides his eyes over to meet yours, “you risked your own life to help me when I was unconscious.”

Your lips tug into a faint smile and you shake your head to add onto his comment. “I think that qualifies me as brave.”

“Stupid actually,” he scoffs lightheartedly, his smile tugging wider. “You’re strong because after all the people you’ve lost, you keep fighting. After all that’s happened in the past couple of months, you’ve remained yourself, you still have a smile on your face…” he pauses again and once more changes the subject as smoothly as possible. Hiding what he really wanted to say. “You’re strong. And I don’t say that about everyone, so cherish it.”

You giggle, and share a lingering gaze and a sweet smile, before you let go of your knees and let your legs slide down to let them hang them over the edge. You leaned in towards him and caused him to blush harder because of how close you were. You were oblivious to it, but he definitely noticed how close your face was to his. He even grew rigid and nervous. But again you didn’t notice. Instead you proceeded to make him more so with your question. “Jean, can I hug you?”

Said guy nods without hesitance, his blush blazing brighter but luckily not pointed out as you wrapped your arms around his neck, and he slowly peeled his arms away from his side to wrap one arm under your arms, and the other one around your shoulders.

It took a couple of seconds for either of you to find the embrace comfortable, it was just such a weird gesture from either of you. Yes, you were best friends, but physical comfort never went this far, if you ever needed comfort like this, you always had Marco. Plus Jean was a bit prideful so he never accepted comfort, or actually showed his emotions to anyone. Sure he got frustrated, but he never let people see him be down, not until the funeral pyres, even then you both comforted each other with half hugs. And it was fine, neither of you minded it, but that was the reason why it felt so weird being so close to one another, so stiff.

At first of course. Because as strange as it felt for the first few seconds, now it felt…nice. So nice. It felt amazing, like you could be in his arms for hours. His body radiated a warmth that engulfed your entire body as he pressed you closer. It felt so comforting, and safe; the way an arm wrapped under your arms with his hand gently balling the material of your shirt, while the other arm stayed wrapped around your shoulders and his hand slowly slid to the back of your neck and the pad of his thumb gently caressed the skin.

His hands also felt soft and not rough and dry. He also smelled nice. Being in his hold made you wonder why you’ve never done this before, sure Marco gave good hugs, but they didn’t compare to this one. It felt as if you both were in much need of each other’s comfort because you even felt him relax into your embrace. He was hesitant at first, you felt that by the way he had felt so stiff at first, but after a few seconds you felt his whole body just completely give in, you even heard him sigh out as if all the weight had been lifted from his body.

Neither of you wanted to let go.

“Thank you,” you broke the comfortable silence. “For saving me and for being honest with me.”

“Thank you for helping me,” he interjected softly, “I didn’t tell you before, but thank you.”

“Always.” You grin, “I’ll always help you. I can’t lose you too.”

Jean’s breath hitches and his hold around you tightens. There's a slight tension that you did feel, so you were quick to break it before it got thicker. “Also, your hands are very soft.”

He huffs out, “thanks?”

You smirk. “It almost feels as if you haven’t worked a day in your life.”

At that comment Jean instantly pulls away from the hug, placing his hands on your shoulders and pulling his head back as he scoffs out offended and bewildered. “Excuse me?! What did you just say nerd?”

You shrug innocently. “That your hands are soft?”

“What about your hands?” He argues as his eyes narrow on you.

Your grin proudly and you pull out your hands in front of the both of you to slowly turn them so he could see both sides. “Egg yolks, oatmeal and raw honey work. I use them all the time.”

Jean drops his hands from your shoulders and a smug grin of his own grows on his face. “Well I,” he points to his chest, “unlike other guys, I actually know what self care is.”

“Is that so?” You snicker while you swing your legs over the wall and slide down to the land on the stone floor.

“Obviously,” Jean puffs his chest out, “it’s what makes me a great guy.”

You look at him over your shoulder and express a teasing laugh as you watch him also land on the floor behind you. He falls by your side and just rolls his eyes at your teasing laugh. And before he could add a remark, your laugh dies down and your grin falls to a faint smile as you bring up something you had in mind to tell him. “I wanted to ask if you wanted to come with me tomorrow to where Marco and I would hangout. I just made him something, and it’s going to be our last day here tomorrow and I don’t know when we’ll return so I just want to do something small.”

“Oh,” Jean’s own smile falls. “Yeah,” he nods in agreement. “I’ll go with you.”

“Good,” you smile softly, “I've been meaning to go for sometime, but I couldn’t muster the courage until now.” You turn to walk back inside, but before you do something else comes up. “Oh and bring extra clothes, we’re doing something after.”

“What?” He inquired curiously.

“It’s a surprise.” You finally continue with your path back inside, but before you could open the door Eren does so first.

“Y/N, Captain Levi is,” Eren pauses and his eyes narrow on your face, making his comment change. “Are you crying?” He snaps his eyes to Jean and his gaze turns to a raging glare. “What did you do to her, Jean?!”

Jean scoffs, “nothing! Why would you assume that?!”

You walk past Eren and leave both boys to talk amongst themselves with a soft and happy smile on your face.

——

“When you said we were coming here, I thought it was just going to be the two of us.” Jean whispers in your ear as he glares at all of your closests friends following behind you.

Your eyebrows pinch together while you turn to look at Jean with your lips pursed together. “They were all Marco's friends too Jean.” You smile and look at Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Connie, Sasha, and at Historia slowly lagging behind the group. “He would’ve loved the company.” You shift your eyes back to Jean and narrow your gaze on him as he rolls his head to look back ahead in annoyance. “You’ve been acting weird lately, Jean. Are you sure you’re okay?” You point out, noticing that the question made his shoulders stiff and his eyes wide.

Said guy doesn’t meet your gaze and just nods before looking away and asking you a question that the breeze carried out. “We almost there?”

You look ahead and spot the big green tree that poked out of the tall green grass that you were walking through, you had spotted it for a mile now and the farther you got, the more you knew you were close; you could hear the running lake that the tree was rooted by, and the familiar sound made you want to run forward like you had done many times before. But you waited and just picked up your pace, having to look over your shoulder as Armin nervously spoke up.

“Y/N, you asked for permission to come out here, right?”

Your lips tug to a smirk and you throw a thumbs up that doesn’t reassure the boy whatsoever. “Of course,” you continue to assure him. “I wouldn't leave without permission.”

“Then why did we leave so early?” Mikasa quiered.

“Because,” you smile sweetly, “we need to enjoy the full day before we have to go into hiding. Trust me I saw the to-do list on Levi’s desk, we’re going to need this.”

“To-do list?” Sasha probed with concern.

Eren looked back at her and said what you were going to respond with. “Welcome to the Levi squad, besides fighting Titans we’re also a cleaning unit. You’ll have fun.”

“Loads of it,” you snicker as you look back ahead and notice that you were now out of the grass field and seeing the big tree, and blue gleaming lake for the first time in three years. The sight of something so meaningful to you made your smile fall to a frown, and brought tears to your eyes. You stopped in your tracks not seconds after your eyes fell on the scene ahead, and everyone else stopped behind you. Nobody pushed you to move forward, they let you reminisce on the memories that began to surface in your head.

They were all so sweet and nostalgic now. They were heartbreaking knowing that the boy you had met here would no longer be able to come back again like he said he would. You would no longer hear his laugh that echoed quietly with the memories that played in your head, you would no longer see his smile every time he came here to enjoy the sun, or the refreshing lake on a hot summer day. Marco was gone and he would no longer be able to draw out what you both found in your field journals, he wouldn’t be here to talk to you anymore. He was gone and all you had were memories of him. Old memories that wouldn’t be replaced by new ones.

“Come on,” you say to everyone as you walk towards the tree, stopping just in front of its trunk to smile softly at the names that were carved on the bark. Tears wanted to break through, but you held them back while you felt the carving of Marcos name under your fingertips as you gently ran your hand over it. Your name was carved out besides his and you couldn’t help but notice that they seemed to be carved a lot lower than you remembered.

“Marco, you came!” The memory of your voice played.

“Of course!” You remembered him smile as he saw you hang down from the tree branch. “I’ll always come.”

Your smile wobbled at the playing memory, but before you could let yourself cry you slid the bag strap off your shoulder, and opened the flap to pull out a small headstone. You followed by kneeling down on the grass, and placing the headstone on the ground beside you to begin digging a small crater on the ground; not caring that your pants or your hands were going to get dirty. And at first you were doing the task alone, but soon thereafter Eren knelt down beside you and helped you as Jean’s concentration got lost on the carving of Marcos name.

Digging the hole didn’t take long since it wasn’t deep, the hardest part was finally placing the small headstone down and tucking it in its place. The hardest part of this was reading the words you had struggled to carve on the small headstone that read; “May you always Rest In Peace Marco Bodt. A beloved Son, Brother, Friend and Soldier.”—however, even then you refused to cry. Instead you smiled softly as you placed down a partially bloomed yellow rose that was surrounded by white lilies.

Before you stood up to let the others place what they had brought, you kiss the tip of your fingers and gently press them on the headstone and linger on the ground a bit longer. “You’ll always be special to me my beloved friend,” you whisper before you push yourself to your feet, feeling Jean’s hand fall on your shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. You looked at him and smiled, lifting your own hand to cup his before you shifted your gaze to watch the rest of your friends place flowers, or personal items that they brought to place on Marcos grave. The only person that was left to place something down was Jean, you didn’t expect him to, if he wanted to, or if he didn’t, then it was his choice, he was here that's all that mattered.

What he did end up doing however, was walk towards it and crouch down to carefully stroke his hand over the headstone, he stayed like that for a couple of minutes before he stood back up and fell by your side again. After that a long silence was shared for Marco, where all there was to hear was the running lake beside the tree, the birds singing in the distance and the gentle breeze swirling in the sky. The silence lasted for a while after, before you quietly broke it. “Thank you all for coming,” you smile sadly as you step back to face them all. “I appreciate it and I know he would too.” Your sad smile turns to a small grin and you take another step back. “Now there are some things we still have to do before we have to head back, so let’s go!” You walk past the group and the tree to trudge on ahead towards your last destination.

“Where exactly are we going?” Connie asks for the rest of the group. “You’ve been cagey about it. And I know I joke around with you, but it’s all lighthearted fun, okay? So please don’t hurt me.”

You look at him over your shoulder and shoot him a pointed gaze before you look back ahead and finally announce where you were taking them. “We’re going to a waterhole close by. It’s a place where I and some of the veteran Scouts like Miche, Hange, Moblit, Nanaba and others would come on their days off. It’s very fun.”

The walk lasted a bit longer since your destination wasn’t far from where the tree was, and instead of walking in silence this time, small conversations were had behind you, you could hear your friends laugh and joke around as they followed you, even Historia as quiet as she had been was heard speaking to Mikasa. Even Jean and Eren were having a civil talk amongst themselves for once. All while you walked in a peaceful silence, and with a small smile on your face as you enjoyed the warm beams of sun hitting your skin, and heard birds chirping on the trees that you saw coming ahead.

When you walked through the small patch of woods that had the waterhole at the end of its treeline, you saw a fallen down tree and you jumped on the log and walked on it, stretching out your hands at your sides to better balance yourself on top as you looked overhead to see more birds singing up on the trees all around you. You would have kept distracted at the sight of the birds, but the sound of Sasha shouting out help, and Eren and Jean silently arguing pulled your attention to the scene happening behind you. And as expected it was a disaster, Sasha and Connie were holding each other to try and not to fall, whilst Armin took Mikasa down to the ground with him, as expected Eren and Jean were trying to race each other and trying to push each other off, but they both ended up falling, and the only one who made it across and landed perfectly by your side was Historia.

You smacked your lips and turned your head to share a teasing look with Historia before you both shared a smile and turned to walk off without them. “It’s just down this path,” you told her as you guided her, and the rest of the group catching up behind you, down a marked path. And once you finally reached the end of the treeline there it was, a beautiful blue waterhole; it wasn’t that big nor deep which made it perfect to swim in. Which also reminded you, “you guys know how to swim right?” You ask as you turn to look at the group.

They all nod and Jean steps forward to interrogate you. “Do you know how to swim?”

“Of course,” you scoff as you flash him a smug grin before you turn to walk to a poorly made shed just feet away from a man-made ramp, built down the slope that led to the water. “Hange taught me.” You finish sharing with him whilst you enter the shed and come back out with four wooden boards. “There aren't enough boards for everyone so we have to pair up.” You throw them all except for one down on the ground, proceeding to throw your bag to the side to begin kicking off your shoes, and pull your socks off before you take off your clothes and strip to the swimsuit you had underneath. When you return your gaze to the group you see them do the same, and catch Jean tearing his eyes away from you before you caught him. Luckily for him.

And with partners in mind, you consider Eren just because you knew how competitive he could be, but as you step towards him Jean blocks your path. “We can go down together.”

“Ah,” you smile nervously as your eyes fall on his toned abs and chest for a second—that’s impressive…wow. I've never seen him without a shirt on. Wow—you catch yourself thinking to yourself before you quickly blink to meet his gaze, “I was going to,” you pause and look beside him to catch Armin had beat you to Eren, your eyes shift Mikasa for better speed down the ramp, but Historia got to her first, so you had no choice. “Fine,” you breathe out as you pull the board closer to you and walk towards the top of the ramp. “I would come here with Marco and the rest of the veteran Scouts on the hot days to race down the ramps, or simply have fun.” You grin as you reminisce about the memories and turn to face your friends who were listening behind you. “It was fun just like mud sledding.”

“Mud sledding?” Armin quieres.

“Hmm,” you nod, “in the rainy season we would go to this hill not far from the grounds and slide down them.” You scratch the back of your head and sigh as you remember the worst part. “Albeit having to wash outside wasn’t fun, but Levi would get mad otherwise.”

“Let’s do it sometime!” Eren beams.

Your grin widens and you nod excitedly before you continue by placing the board on top of the ramp, and holding it in place with your foot. “Who wants to go first?” You ask, but see no volunteers, instead they urge you to go first after they take a step back. “Fine,” you groan—it’s not like we’re going to die—you look at Jean over your shoulder and smirk. “You trust me right?”

Said guy narrows his eyes on you and lingers in silence for a moment before he sighs out and nods. “Do I have a choice?”

“Nope.” You beam as you sit down on the board and then catch Jean standing still beside you. “What?” You question as you look up to him.

“I want to be in front,” he complains.

Your face twists into an annoyed expression and you scoff before you rebuttal his comment. “Have you done this before?” You don’t let him answer and do so for him. “No, so stop being a man about it and sit behind me.”

“Fine,” Jean grumbles as he hides his blush and does as you say, being hesitant as he wraps his hands around your waist.

“Okay, ready?” You ask happily.

Jean exhales deeply, looking at the water over your shoulder and noticing now how high the ramp was from water, how poorly it was built and how long it all seemed. He doubted this activity after he let his worry surface, but he trusted you so he nodded in agreement. After all, if you said Marco did this, then he could too. “I guess so.” He agreed.

“Okay then!” You beam happily as you tighten your hold on the board and take one last look at Jean. “Hold on!” And before he could back down, you use your legs to push yourselves down, feeling Jean’s hold tighten and your heart race as the adrenaline kicks through your blood. To gain more momentum as you slide down the ramp, you run your feet on the ramp and only throw them out forward once the ramp flies off into the air.

“You’re crazy!” Jean bellows after the board shoots off into the air.

You look behind you and smirk. “That’s exactly what Marco said the first time!” You look back ahead and in that second of time that you were in the middle of the air, just above the water, time seemed to slow down. When you roamed your eyes over the scenery around you, everything seemed much more beautiful, the sky seemed more blue, the sun shone a brighter and a more fierce yellow, and the waterhole appeared to shine like a blue crystal. The wind that rushed past your face while you were out in the middle of the air felt refreshing and freeing. For that slowed down second all the bad things that had happened in the past disappeared, and you were filled with overwhelming joy.

Through all the rush there in the sky, beside you, you caught sight of a beautiful blue butterfly flying overhead. The sight of its flapping wings brought a bigger and brighter smile to your features. You tried to reach for it, but before you could touch it, gravity pulled the board down and the rushing feeling returned time back to normal. And before you could hit the water you let out a happy scream before you pushed yourself off the board to cannonball in the water.

A couple seconds after your dive, you opened your eyes under the water to take in the sight of the deep blue water that surrounded you, catching Jean still under with his eyes squeezed closed, his cheeks blown out like a chipmunks holding in their nuts, and his fingers pinching his nose to hold in his breath while the other hand flapped around. It was a funny sight that made you huff out an admiring smile before you swam towards him and carefully grabbed his face, the feeling of your hands on his cheeks making him peel his eyes open but remain stiff as he stayed under. You shot him a wider and assuring smile and his brown eyes only widened as he held your gaze. You couldn't tell what emotions ran through him, but you did notice that he faintly mirrored your smile before he grabbed your arms and pulled you up to the surface.

“See,” you breathe out as you pull your hands away and run them down your face to wipe the water off your face and eyes. “Not bad.”

He wipes the water off his face before meeting your gaze and nodding. “No you’re right. Terrifying.” He says sarcastically.

You laugh and shake your head before you turn to look up and notice that your friends had been watching and waiting for both Jean and you to resurface. After they got their confirmation their figures disappeared and not seconds later Sasha and Connie came rushing down, both screaming at the top of their lungs and sloppily splashing into the water. After them followed Historia who switched partners and was now with Armin, and as expected she was in the front with a big happy grin on her face before she dove into the water and resurfaced with the same child-like grin; because she just like you forgot the pain from the week before, it might just be for the day, but she let herself enjoy the moment with you and her friends.

“That was so much fun!” She shouted as she threw her arms up in the air and splashed water at Armin and Sasha beside her. “I want to do it again!”

Lastly Eren and Mikasa rushed down the ramp, and even if Mikasa shouldn’t be doing this because of her injury, she tightly held onto Eren as he sat in front. And as much of a brave and strong person as she was in the field, here, as she and Eren rushed down, her eyes were closed, and she pressed her face on his back and had her arms wrapped around his neck. They both had smiles on their faces, with Eren having the bigger grin before they splashed into the water and resurfaced with her.

No matter what had happened before, no matter the pain you all were going through, today, spending time with each other in the water, took away from that and brought an overwhelming happiness to everyone. Everyone was making new memories that would stay with them forever.

“Having fun?”

You look to your side and notice Jean walking up beside you. You nod whilst you rub your hands together to try and get them warmer as the cold water on your body makes you tremble. “Yeah I am, are you?”

Jean wraps a towel around your shoulders before he sits beside you on the log. He nods and follows your line of vision to watch Eren, trying to pull Connie down into the water from their partners shoulders as they play their water game Sasha suggested—“I have to admit, you know how to turn a day fun. At first I thought this was going to be a disaster.”

“Ahaha!” Connie laughs evilly after Eren loses and splashes in the water.

You side eye Jean and express a feigned laugh. “Haha. Always so kind Kirstein.” You return your gaze to the group in the water and hug the towel tighter around your body. “Even if my nose is always in my books, I can be fun, okay? It’s just another one of my good traits.” You look at him and flash him a mocking smile whilst you touch your chest. “It’s what makes me such a great girl.”

Jean's eyes fall on you, and he rolls them as he shakes his head and lightly pushes you to the side, and making you genuinely laugh. After a couple of minutes it dies down and you sit closer beside him to once again look out at your friends in the water with a happy smile on your face.

“Marco would’ve loved this,” Jean muses.

“Yeah,” you assure him in a whisper. “He would’ve.”

Jean's eyes flicker away from your friends and he steals a longing glance at you. He thinks you would be too busy watching Sasha wrestle with Historia that you wouldn't notice, after all he’s never had it happen, but this time it was different, you didn’t catch him staring because he was swift to look away, but you did turn to steal a glance at him. And knowing that, noticing your eyes on him made him smile because you did look back at him. He didn’t know if you knew of his feelings that he’s failed to keep discreet, but he was happy that you looked back at him. It made his heart flutter, and fill with hope that he wasn’t filled with before.

Maybe this time he would get the girl, maybe this time it would be different. And he knew you needed time after what happened with Reiner, but that didn’t bother him, he’d be patient for you. He’d wait. He just hoped that none of the upcoming tragedy, that all these problems you all were going to face wasn’t going to get in the way of that.

Hopefully not.

A/N- let’s hope our jean-boy gets what he wants and gets the girl this time 🤞🏽 let’s hope.

Tagged- @expectoscamander , @greenygreenland , @that-soft-lesbian-friend , @dai-tsukki-desu , @usernamehere91 , @avocadopoosae , @romancried , @victor-criss-bish @moo-moo-meadow

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littlesniggy · 3 years

Note

Hey, have been wanting to ask this for a while, even when it might take some brainstorming. The headcanon goes: How would the admirals act if their partner is begging them for letting her dominante them the next time they sleep together. Making them treat her like a queen, full on submission for just a night, 'mistress'-naming, lingeri/outfit, all the good stuff. Thank you in advanced ^^

Hey! Thank you for the request! I love writing for the admirals! I wasn't sure though if you meant with lingerie reader wearing it or the admirals so I went with reader wearing it cause I don't really see any of them being down to it (not even costumes, except maybe Kizaru). So yeah, hope you enjoy it!

Reader asking to dominate them in bed (Admirals)

Warning: nsfw

Sakazuki

He looks at you like you’re out of your mind. He will tell you straight out “no”. I mean, what did you expect? This man is authority himself and he won’t change it in the bedroom even if you beg him.

He won’t say no to the lingerie part; after all, he enjoys a good view and it makes things even hotter but he won’t, under any circumstances, call you “mistress” or anything like that. It’s a no for him and honestly, he wouldn’t feel comfortable if he’s not in control of the situation.

He just can’t get a kick out of being dominated and even if he agreed to trying it (which is highly unlikely) you would be having a hard time getting his “little friend” up. He doesn’t like it if someone else is in charge of his pleasure and it simply does nothing for him.

The only compromise he would do is worship your body and make you feel desired. He will even “lower himself” to giving you head but only if he’s in a good mood and not too stressed (he's also quite good at it). He loves when you worship his body his cock and just to be “even” with you he would occasionally “repay” you.

I can even see him getting upset a little at the suggestion and it will either end with him leaving or you trying to calm him down by “making it up to him”. He likes having sex with you but there are a couple of no’s he is not willing to try, just because he can’t see himself liking it. He’s more of a “prude” when it comes to sex, even though he can fuck you like a god (or madman lol).

Borsalino

Here’s the thing: you think you’re in charge but he actually pulled the strings all along. He’s totally down for calling your “mistress” and do whatever you demand of him but he kind of orchestrates you to do certain things/ demand certain things of him.

He will lick his lips in an “innocent” way and give you the idea that he could go down on you. Or he will move his hips in a way that your hand brushes against his crotch and you will get the idea that you could tease him by giving him a hand job to “torture” him, all thinking it would come as a surprise. But in reality, he’s a little shit and just makes you do what he wants you to do.

He will praise you for everything you do with that small smirk on his lips, knowing full well he’s still in control. And it isn’t even his intention to “toy” with you but it’s just so easy for him to make you think you’re in charge. It all comes down to his lazy demeanor and you being too naïve to see that he’s only messing with you.

He enjoys you doing all the work or you telling him what to do, making things a lot easier for him. He loves making love to you or fuck you but if you call the shots he is more than happy to oblige.

I think he would even be down for pegging but only if his partner is convincing enough. If he feels like they have no idea what they’re doing he will tell them that this is probably not going to work. “Nee…Y/n….if you don’t do a better job I think this won’t work.” Or something like this. You shouldn’t be discouraged though; it just means that maybe you should try it again another time.

Kuzan

He’s a little hesitant when it comes to being dominated. Not because he doesn’t trust you but because he’s not too sure what your “end goal” is, like how far you want thing to go. He would be down to being dominated and being your “pet” or “slave” but only If it’s within reason.

He doesn’t strike me as the guy to be into power play in the first place so there must be a lot of trust between the two of you for him even to consider it. He just prefers taking it slowly and enjoy the moment as equals rather than being too aggressive or too submissive.

He’s down for worshipping you like the queen/king you are but it’s something he already does from time to time. He will try it just for you and see if he likes it. He’s generally open to new things but will tell you if he doesn’t like something. It’s nothing against you, it’s just not for him and you should be grateful that he tried it for you.

I can see him being okay with being tied to the bed (also knowing that he could free himself any moment if he wanted to) so you can have some fun with him that way. He’s a lazy man and he likes you being on top anyways so you riding him, completely in charge won’t be such a big difference to your usual intercourse.

Since he can’t move his arms and touch you he will become a little impatient from time to time, telling you to move a certain way but you just shut him up by lifting yourself up completely, denying him any form of contact until he apologizes. It will frustrate him to no end but eventually he will oblige.

Even if he won’t admit it when you’re done, he will be exhausted due to your treatment and making him more or less beg for his release. He would consider doing it again but probably won’t be this patient the next time and just free himself to handle you himself.

Issho

Like Kuzan, he’s not really into power play. He loves making love and every time he sleeps with you it’s something special to him. So, when you ask him to be submissive the next time he will question if all those times you’ve had sex with him until now have been boring for you and you were just too shy to tell him.

He’s not insecure or anything but he just doesn’t like the thought of you not enjoying it as much as he does. When you tell him you just want to try something new and it’s a fantasy you’ve had for a while now he will make some seemingly innocent remark that will have you blush. “I’m glad you still have fantasies about me even though we’ve been together for so long.”

When you tell him to lay down on the bed, sit on top of him in your lingerie, grab his hands to guide them over your body, over every curve just so you can tie them down on the bed poles he will already groan in pleasure. Knowing you’re wearing a sexy outfit and not being able to see nor to touch it is torture for him.

It’s even more torturous for him when you go down on him, suck him off at your own pace and him not being able to touch your face, your hair, anything. If you’re not careful he might cum rather quickly. Having “no” eyes to see you and on top if that no hands to touch you will make every little touch even more intense for him.

He will even call you “mistress” if you ask him to and honestly, he’s feeling it. He wouldn’t want to do it too often this way but from time to time he’s totally up for it.

If you suggest switching roles he will be hesitant for a bit, not the type to be dominating but he’s surprisingly good at it. He’s not too comfortable with it though, enjoying the submissive part more.

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hangovercurse · 4 years

Text

Babies, Bathrooms, and Birth Control

Colson and Casie both want a new addition to the family, but you don’t feel ready.

Request: “Could you write a story about Colson wanting to have a second child with y/n. She loves him, but isn't quite ready. Maybe Casie talks about wanting a little brother or sister. Maybe Colson tries to hide her birth control pills. It doesn't end with pregnancy, but Colson and y/n have a deep talk about maybe in a year or two”

Colson x Reader

Warnings, Cursing, hiding birth control, general angst

A/N: Hope this is what you wanted, I had a lot of fun with this!

Word Count: 1905

masterlist

“Casie, make sure he doesn’t eat that.” You chuckled, watching Ashton pick up a piece of paper from the coffee table and move it towards his mouth. Casie, who was sitting on the floor watching your boyfriend’s nephew, grabbed the paper from the boy’s hand, picking him up and setting him on her lap.

“You can’t eat that Ashton, you’ll get sick.” She talked to the infant in a baby voice, making you smile.

Colson and Ashleigh were having a conversation next to you about upcoming music and projects. You tried to keep up with the music talk but got lost after the first few minutes, so you decided to watch Casie play with her cousin. The girl adored him, entertaining him with toys and playing games with him. It was endearing.

Ashleigh stood up, seemingly wrapping up her conversation. “Ashton and I have to go, but it was good to see you guys. I’m sure we’ll be back soon.”

Casie groaned and you and Colson laughed. “Why can’t you two just have a baby together already, then I’d get to do this all the time.”

You knew her comment didn’t really mean anything, but you still looked down awkwardly, avoiding the conversation. Ashleigh laughed, taking her son in her arms. “See you, Ash.” Colson smiled.

“Bye Ashleigh!” You put on a smile. “Bye Ashton!” You said in a baby voice, overexaggerating your wave to the boy.

Once the door closed behind them, Casie turned to you and Colson, who had his arm around your shoulders. “I wasn’t joking.” The girl said, crossing her arms.

“Okay Case, we get it. Now drop it, that’s something for the grown-ups to talk about.” Colson said in his best dad voice, which wasn’t all that great.

Casie tilted her head at her dad, her pouty eyes staring into his. Finally, she gave up, “Whatever. You guys should definitely talk about it though.” She smiled, skipping off to her room.

You looked at Colson, raising your eyebrow. He laughed, pressing his head against the side of yours and scrunching his nose. You giggled, tilting your head so his landed on your shoulder. You turned your attention to the TV in front of you, chuckling as you saw one of those new kids show playing.

You turned and kissed the top of Colson’s head, moving to stand up. He grabbed your hand, trying to pull you back towards the couch. “Noooo, I wanna cuddle with you.” He pouted. You rolled your eyes, chuckling. If any of his bandmates were here to see this, they would never let him live it down.

“I gotta get a shower, it’s getting late.” You smiled as his hand continued to grip yours.

He looked up at you, a sly look in his eyes. “I could help you with that.” He raised his eyebrows at you, eliciting yet another eyeroll from you.

“Orrrr, you could clean up down here since it’s kind of a mess.” You dragged out the “or” to tease him, which obviously worked.

“Baaaabbbyyyy. Why do you hate me?” He groaned even though he was smiling.

“I don’t, my love. But I do hate dirty dishes.” You tried to hide your smile at his distraught expression. “I’ll give you a kiss if you do it.”

He pouted his lower lip, “two kisses?”

You sighed, like it was a hard decision. “Okay, two kisses.”

“And I get one in advance.”

You chuckled, leaning into him and pressing your lips to his. As you went to pull away he pulled you onto his lap, causing you to giggle. “Colson, I need a shower, I stink.”

“Yeah but what would you rather do, shower, or kiss me?” He leaned in again, capturing your lips again.

You let yourself give in for just a moment, your lips melting into his, before pulling away. “You can get as many kisses as you can bear when I smell better.” You whisper, pecking his lips before climbing off of him.

“Now that is a deal I will take!” He yelled as you walked towards your shared bedroom, getting ready for a warm, inviting shower.

“Hey babe, have you seen my pills?” You called into your bedroom from the bathroom, searching the cabinets and drawers.

Colson came into the bathroom, sweatpants low on his hips. “What pills?”

“My birth control pills. I swear I put them in this drawer last night.” You motioned towards the second drawer on the right. “I can’t find them.”

He made a face, his head tilting to his side. “Is there anywhere else you would have put them?”

“I don’t think so. I’ve checked basically everywhere.” You sighed. “I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

“Babe its okay, you can just get some more tomorrow.”

You sighed, “That’s not how it works, babe. I can’t get a new pack because I was only like halfway through the last one. It’ll throw my routine off for like, ever.” The confused look came back to Colson’s face. “There’s this schedule with pills. Sometimes I have to take a different pill on certain days.”

“Okay, and you’re sure you didn’t put them anywhere else?”

“I’m almost positive, Colson. I take them at the same time every night, in the same place. I always put them in the drawer.” You pressed the back of your hand to your forehead, trying to calm yourself down.

He nodded, “I’m gonna check the drawers in the bedroom, maybe you put them in there?” He left the bathroom, and you could already here him searching through drawers.

“Colson I know they’re not in there.” You yelled to him, opening the drawer in front of you for the 15th time, just in case they magically appear.

“I found ‘em, babe.” Colson came back in the small room, holding up the metal package. “They were in your side table drawer.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, knowing you wouldn’t have put them there. “I definitely didn’t put them in there.”

Colson shrugged, “Maybe you just forgot you did?”

“No, Colson, I remember standing here, taking it, and putting it in the drawer. I didn’t put it in my drawer.”

“Well they didn’t get there by themselves.”

“No, they didn’t.” You squinted, your mind drifting to Casie’s comment earlier. You felt silly for even thinking it, but it seemed like a very Colson thing to do.

His expression changed to one of hurt. “What, you think I hid them? Babe I wouldn’t do that.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“I mean, I’m just saying even if I did- which I didn’t- what’s the harm in missing a few days?”

You squinted harder at him in disbelief. “I dunno Colson, I could get pregnant?”

He bit his lip, looking down. “What’s so wrong with that?”

You were taken aback, not realizing how bad he wanted this. “Babe, we’re not ready for that. I’m not ready for that. I- we’re not even married yet.” Your breathing got heavy, confusion the only emotion you could feel, confusion and disappointment.

“Do you think I was ready for Casie? But she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And you said you didn’t care about all that marriage shit.”

“Cols, I know you weren’t ready for Casie, but we’re a lot more careful. We use precaution so that we can be ready.”

He looked hard at you, making you feel like the bad guy. “So you don’t want a kid with me.”

You sighed, hands coming to meet at the bridge of your nose. “I don’t want a kid with you right now. I’m not saying I don’t want it to happen ever.”

“Why?”

“You don’t want to marry me. A baby is a much bigger commitment than that.” You hated the way you sounded right now, but you couldn’t help yourself.

He looked upset, “You told me you were okay with not getting married.”

“I told you that a year ago, Colson. We’re hitting our 4th anniversary this year. I’ve known people who get married after less. I just- I don’t get it. If you’re not willing to commit to that then how can you say you want a baby?” You let out a breath through your nose.

“So you think I’m not committed to this relationship? To you?”

“Did I say that Colson? No. I’m just saying that if I’m gonna make a life changing decision with you, I want to know you’re ready. I need to know you’re all in.”

“We don’t need to get married to be all in.”

“Why don’t you want to marry me.” Your voice broke, and you hadn’t realized how intense your emotions had gotten until that moment.

Colson’s expression softened after seeing the pain in your eyes. “Baby it’s not that I don’t want to marry you, I love you. I just don’t understand why we need to hold this big fancy ceremony to prove it to everyone, much less to each other.” He moved closer to you while he was talking, until he landed a few inches in front of you, his hands reaching for your hips.

“That’s what people do, Colson. They buy fancy outfits and invite their friends and dance to cheesy music. I love you, Col, and I know you love me. But is it so bad to want that?” Your voice came out as a whisper.

He pulled you closer to him, “No, it’s not at all. I’m sorry, baby I didn’t realize it meant so much to you.” He pressed a kiss to the top of your head as you wrapped your arms around his bare middle. “And I’m sorry for hiding your birth control. It was really stupid and selfish of me. I honestly don’t know what I was thinking.”

“I’m sorry for not telling you about wanting to get married, I should’ve brought it up to you.” You said, kissing his chest and then looking up at him, resting your chin on his skin. “And I don’t not want a kid with you, Colson. I don’t think I’d ever love anything more than having a child with you, I’m just not ready for that right now.”

He nodded, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. “That’s fair. And it is totally your decision when you’re ready if you’re ever ready.” He kissed you again, deeper than before. “But also I can’t fucking wait for you to be carrying our baby.” He giggled.

“Well, in the meantime, there’s no harm in practicing making a baby.” You said, a sly smile on your face. You tried to maintain your sexy façade, but you couldn’t help but laugh at how cheesy that sounded.

Colson bit his lower lip, a smirk on his face. “I would have absolutely no problem with that.” You moved away from him, grabbing his hands and interlocking your fingers. He backed up towards the door, leading you into the bedroom. “Oh, I never asked babe.” He paused, pulling you back into his body and kissing you. “You wanna get married? Like start planning and shit?”

You giggled, moving your lips to meet his. “Are you proposing to me, Colson Baker?”

His face turned red, “Well, I don’t have a ring, but I’ll get one and then I’ll do it properly. But for now, whaddya say?”

You rolled your eyes and let out a small laugh. “Colson Baker I would love to marry you.”

#mgk #mgk imagine #mgk angst #mgk fluff #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #Colson baker #colson x reader #colson baker fluff #colson baker imagine #colson baker angst

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lottiebagley · 3 years

Text

Snow covered courtyards- Oliver Wood

When he'd asked her to the ball he'd been certain she would say no. They'd been friends for a while but never particularly close, simply in the same year and house and therefore knew each other through mutual friends.

He'd always thought she was kind of unattainable, she seemed to always look perfect, she was smart and funny and kind and top of her classes. He never knew why but she always avoided Oliver a little, he spent nights laid in bed listening to Percy's snoring and racking his brains for any reason she might avoid him, an insult from years ago, a history between him and one of her friends but nothing quite came to mind.

It wasn't until a few weeks before the ball that he realised that maybe the reason she avoided him was because she wasn't quite as unattainable as he'd thought. He'd laughed at first when his best friend shrugged that she probably just had a crush on him, mouthful of cereal and a slightly bemused look on his face.

After that conversation he slowly allowed his brain to convince himself she just might like him back. After all why else would she blush when he catches her eye? why would she go to every quidditch game no matter how awful the weather? why would she giggle a little with her friends when he passes?

And so, Oliver Wood let a little spark of hope light in his heart and he began to plan how he would ask her to the ball.

He thought about asking her after they won a quidditch match when he was high on adrenaline but he didn't like the idea of being muddy and sweaty and with the fucking Weasley twins, their relentless teasing playing in his mind before it even happened.

Next he thought about making some production out of it in the great hall like he'd seen a few other people do, but he knew she'd hate being the centre of the entire school's attention.

He contemplated asking her at a party, figuring some liquid courage might make the prospect of asking his dream girl on a date a little easier, but didn't want her to think it was some drunk decision.

He settled on approaching her with a bouquet of flowers and just asking it, after all, he knew he was a good looking guy and most people found him charming if not a little intense. What he didn't think about though was that most people didn't make his heart beat too fast, his hands go clammy, and his words come out a stuttering mess.

Oliver announced to his friends one morning that today was the day he'd ask her out, they'd grinned widely, given him a pep talk, mocked him a little for his nerves and sent him on his way and Oliver had every intention to ask her out.

It was then that Oliver learnt the age old lesson.

Girls travel in packs.

No matter how hard he tried she was surrounded. Between classes, at meals, in the common room, christ even on her way to the bathroom. Whenever he saw her she'd have a gaggle of girls with her all of which would eye him with curiosity and smirks when he attempted to approach.

It took Oliver a further three days of attempting to catch her alone, his friends seeming to find the entire situation funnier by the hour, before it had happened. He'd caught a glimpse of her with Cedric.

Oliver Wood hated Cedric Diggory, hated that he was so often compared to him, hated that he had swoopy hair that made girls swoon, hated that he too was a good quidditch player. His newest reason though to despise the boy who showed him nothing but kindness was that he didn't clam up around her. He talked to her with ease and made her laugh.

If he'd done a little digging, Oliver would have easily found Cedric was a family friend and she viewed him like a brother. Through exasperated mutual friends sick of both their pining he'd have probably also learnt she had a massive crush on Oliver and had turned down multiple boys in the hopes Oliver would ask her to the ball.

He didn't dig though. Instead he scowled in the direction of Cedric and her, they were laughing by the quidditch pitch as the Hufflepuff practice ended and the Gryffindor's arrived for their own. She had been on her way to the greenhouses to grab a book she'd accidentally left there when Cedric had jogged over, unknown to Oliver actually asking if the Gryffindor had plucked up the nerve to ask her out. She had brushed her friend off, thinking it would be a miracle for Oliver Wood to fancy her back.

"Hurry up Wood, she's a good one, she'll get swept up all too soon," Fred smirks as he passes Oliver on his way into the changing rooms.

And with Fred's words in his mind Oliver grabs the bouquet of flowers from the office and marches towards her, Cedric spotting him coming and quickly taking his leave.

"Hi," He calls, cursing himself for not thinking to say her name when she doesn't even turn around, not used to him approaching her, "Hi-Y/N,"

She turns then, still clad in her uniform, hair blowing in the light wind and a small smile on her face.

"Oliver-uh-hey," She blushes a little as she falls over her words

"You're a really hard girl to get on her own," He comments. Fucking christ why does he sound like a stalker? The question spins in his mind but she seems to not think anything of the comment, instead blushing a little

"Oh- my friends and I are kinda inseperable," She shrugs lightly, not wanting an awkward silence so instead opting to ramble "They only aren't here now cause they are busy. Meg's at detention, Ali's with her boyfriend and Katie's tutoring some second year in potions. I'd have waited for one of them to be with me because honestly I kind of hate walking alone- not cause I'm weird or un-independent or any thing, I just, well I get a little anxious and feel like people are staring at me and-" She silences herself, suddenly coming to her senses and realising how crazy she's making herself sound. "Sorry,"

"Don't be. I think it's cute when you ramble," He admits, blushing as red as his quidditch robes when he realises what he's said.

"Did you need something or have I just embarrassed myself over a polite hello?" She questions, he chuckles a little making her feel mildly less uncomfortable.

"I was actually wondering if you wanted to go to the ball?" He questions. He feels a weight off his shoulder's once the question has been asked. Like suddenly even if she says no at least he could tell himself he tried.

"With you?" She questions, she realises she probably sounds more idiotic by the second but can't quite convince herself to believe her long term crush would actually ask her out.

"Uh-yeah," He's taken aback by the question and feels stupid for even thinking she'd consider it and suddenly the even if she says no bullshit is just that, because shit if the girl in front of him with wide eyes and a nervous smile doesn't say yes he thinks his heart might break in his chest.

"Like a date?"

"I was hoping,"

"I'd love that,"

Oliver feels like the luckiest person on earth. Watching as she blushes a little, but her smile is wide and god if he doesn't want to kiss her right there.

"Great,"

"Good,"

"Cool,"

"Yeah,"

Neither of them is quite sure what comes next and the interaction seems to run even more awkward. "You'll pick her up!" Oliver rolls his eyes at the sound of George Weasley, although thankful for the prompt, she blushes, peering behind him to see the entire Gryffindor quidditch team watching them.

"I'll pick you up," He confirms

"Right," She nods

"At 7? Outside your dorm?"

"Sounds good,"

"Okay," He grins brightly, still thinking this entire thing is his mind playing some cruel tricks on him.

"So you should go, your team awaits," She reminds, he nods, partly wanting the interaction over before he can make even more of a fool out of himself or ruin something before it even has a chance to start and partly wanting to live in this moment of pure joy for the rest of his life.

"Right, so I'll uh- see you at the ball- and- uhm- around before obviously," He stutters a little

"Great, I'll see you in both those places," She confirms, realising only after she's spoken how idiotic she sounds.

"The flowers Wood! Christ you're bad at this!" Fred shouts

"Always thought he had game," Harry comments

"We all did kid," George agrees.

"Sorry about them," Oliver apologises

"It's okay," She smiles gently, waiting patiently as he stands staring wondering why her eyes are flickering from him, to his team to his hands and-

"Oh right, these are for you," He confirms, passing the bouquet over and grinning when she blushes a little

"Thanks Oli,"

"Any time," He nods

When she pulls open her dorm door Oliver is certain time stops.

She looks like an angel, her makeup perfect, hair flowing in curls with a small section pinned back as to see her face clearly, Oliver is certain nothing else has ever looked as beautiful. She's dressed in a golden gown that shimmers in the light and makes her look like a princess.

"You- I mean- it- you look beautiful," He stammers over his words and his face goes redder by the second but she smiles at him

"Thank you Oli," She smiles up at him and when their eyes meet both of them feel their hearts hammering in their chests.

"You ready?" He questions, she nods, smiling when he grabs her arm in his and they walk together to the hall.

The hall looks like something out of a fairytale. Seeming to glow an ice white, lined with glittering trees and a glance at the ceiling showing a sky full of stars that gleamed in the air.

"You want to dance?" Oliver questions, eyes falling to the already slightly crowded dance floor, the students dancing to the waltz that plays.

"Think you might loose a foot if we try," She admits, glancing at the girls who swirl around the floor effortlessly and feeling a little self conscious she can't do the same.

"It'd be worth it," He grins, pulling her along with him.

"Hey Oli?"

"Yeah?" He questions as they come to the edge of the dance floor

"These heels are really high. Please don't let me fall,"

"I've got you," He assures, smiling when he notices her physically loosen the panic in her eyes dissipating.

It takes them a few stumbles and a couple of toe treads but eventually they pick up the dance. He watches with a grin as she stares at her feet in focus and with time, and a few glasses of the punch Fred and George spiked, she relaxes, feeling at ease in his arms and becoming more comfortable with the slightly confusing dancing.

Oliver whispers commentary about the ball that makes her laugh and he loves the way she talks with such excitement that he can't help but follow along with every word. He's pretty sure in that moment he could die happy and she's almost certain this is the best night of her life.

As the minutes tick into hours they become more and more comfortable with each other, sure there's still an awkward teenagers with crushes layer to the conversation, but they learn they have a lot in common and find it easy to make small talk that they both actually enjoy.

"Do you wanna go get some air?" She questions at around 11, the dancing has changed from formal waltzing to jumping around to the band who'd been hired for the event and they were both hot and a little sticky from the crowd.

He nods in confirmation and smiles to himself when she immediately takes his hand in hers to pull him along behind her, she seems to have no idea he'd follow her to the ends of the earth if she asked.

She takes him to a small moonlit, snow covered, empty courtyard.

"Anyone would think you wanted to get me alone," He teases lightly, she blushes a little but playfully shoves him

"Maybe I did," She shrugs, he grins cockily "Or maybe it was a little crowded in there and I'm a polite date who didn't want to just abandon you," She isn't quite sure where her newfound confidence around Oliver is coming from

"I'm going to go with the first option," He grins, she laughs a little before shivering at the cold December breeze that wraps around them. He's quick to shrug of his black formal jacket, wrapping it around her shoulders and blushing when she leans up to press a kiss to his cheek in thanks.

"You wanna dance?" She questions, he laughs a little at the idea of leaving a ball to go and dance but nods.

Her arms wrap around his neck as his circle her waist, he hums gently and she smiles a she glances up at him. Oliver Wood looks like a god in the moonlight and she thanks her lucky stars that it's her who got to be in that moment with him.

They dance slowly, eventually pulling each other closer. She laughs when he twirls her under his arm and he grins when her hands begin to brush through the ends of his hair.

"Tell me something," She speaks quietly, his arms pulling her even closer.

"What do you wanna know?"

"Anything about you," She decides, he takes a deep breath, figuring now's probably the best moment he'll ever get to tell her this.

"I've had a crush on you since first year,"

"You have?" She sounds shocked and he can't help but laugh at the idea of her not realising he's practically head over heels for her

"I have," He confirms with a grin

"Why'd you never say anything?" She questions. Her heart feels like it's beating a million miles a minute and she's almost certain he can feel it

"You kinda avoided me," he shrugs

"Yeah I did," She laughs

"Why'd you do that?"

"I was scared to make a fool out of myself," She admits

"Yeah I get that," He nods

"You do? You always seem so- I don't know- at ease,"

"Around everyone but you I kinda am," He shrugs, she blushes a little at that. "You wanna know something else?" He questions.

They're still swaying a little but there's not much movement at their feet, instead the entire thing looks like a loving embrace and she figured to an extent it kind of was.

"Sure,"

"All night I've thinking about if I were to try and kiss you. If you'd kiss back or you'd pull away and laugh in my face and I'd have made a fool of myself," His words leave her breathless and his charming grin only makes it better

"There's only one way to know for sure," She whispers.

His lips crash to hers in the moonlit courtyard, the snow falling around them. It's slow and gentle. Holding years of emotion and there's no need to rush, in that moment they both know they have forever to hold each other this close. It's a little toothy from both their wide grins but as his hands cup her cheeks she's sure nothing has ever been as perfect as this moment and the boy she's sharing it with.

MASTERLIST

#harry potter fanfiction #Harry Potter #harry potter masterlist #oliver wood #oliver wood x reader #oliver wood x y/n #oliver wood imagine

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lovely-jily · 3 years

Text

"well my legs are jello, so i'd have to disagree"

ok this definitely is no where close to my best writing, i originally wrote it when i was like 15 and i didn't want to start over so i did a shitty revision job. regardless, please enjoy this slightly shitty fic :)

"Alright, everyone. Let's take a shot to start us off," Sirius held up the bottle of firewhisky. It was another Friday night, and tonight the James and Lily got their friends together for a classic game of truth or dare. However, in their version, you take a shot of firewhisky for every dare, and for every truth, a person drinks a little bit of veritaserum, the truth potion. It was brewed by Remus and Sirius (who were quite brilliant if they actually applied themselves to their work), and the ingredients were stolen by none other than Mary and Marlene. James had offered to go with Lily to do it under the cloak, but Lily swore she would never go under that thing with him. Sirius managed to bewitch the potion so that it only lasted a couple minutes, just long enough to answer the truth.

It was the middle of their sixth year, and Lily and James had gotten to the point where they got along quite well, both stubborn and oblivious enough to refuse to think about the apparent tension and feelings between them. Lily was refusing to admit that she was attracted to the git, much less falling for him, and James didn't think that she would ever like him in that way. Regardless, everyone knew that they were bound to get together, and when they did, it would be a historically firey moment.

The group did as they were told, passing the bottle around the circle and taking small swigs. James tried to ignore how Lily's skin glowed in the firelight, and Lily tried to ignore how James's hands looked with the bottle in them.

"First off- James," Sirius faced the boy, who messed up his hair as per usual, "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," James said dauntingly, leaning towards Sirius and smirking.

"Okay. Kiss Dorcus," Sirius said, handing James the bottle.

James took a swift swig, and Lily felt both his and Dorcus's nervous eyes on her. Set in her ways of defiance, Lily gave the subtlest of nods to Dorcus to give her permission and then tried her hardest to fight off the feelings of jealousy as James's hand reached Dorcus's cheek, kissing her softly. After a couple seconds, James pulled away and looked again at Lily, whose face seemed a little too red for someone who "wasn't interested in the slightest for a single date, you insufferable twat." Regardless, James smirked at the idea that Lily didn't seem to like him kissing other girls. Maybe his friends were a bit right after all...

"I've just about kissed everyone here now," James said pridefully. Of course, he was proud of something like that.

"Of course you have" Lily rolled her eyes, feeling the slight buzz of firewhisky.

"Yeah, we kissed one time," Sirius smirked as the boys laughed, "It was last year after a gaome. Best day of my life."

"And we accidentally kissed, so I don't think it even counts," Peter ran a hand through his blond hair.

"He came out of nowhere for ours. I was giving him an answer, and suddenly his lips were on mine," Remus shrugged, a soft smirk on his face.

"I got excited. We had been working on a figured out a terribly difficult problem in Arithmancy," James said, a happy smile on his face. James was many things: annoying, obnoxious, prideful, but one thing that Lily really admired about him was how much he loved all of his friends. He was insanely loyal and treated them like family. She knew he would die for them, and Lily couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be someone that James would die for.

"Yeah, I'm a super good kisser in case anyone was wondering," James joked as he looked at Lily, who failed miserably at hiding her blush.

"I think it's your turn to ask," Lily said, trying to fight the intense attraction she felt at that moment. As if it didn't keep her up at night and distracted during her classes...

"Alright. Truth or dare, Lily," James said, winking at her, "I can think of a few good dares."

"Looks like I'll have to pick truth then," Lily said, rolling her eyes.

"You're no fun," Mary elbowed her gently.

Everyone laughed, Lily included. She then sighed, grabbed the bottle of veritaserum and took a shot, the honey tasting liquid burning her throat slightly.

"Who's the most attractive one here?" James asked after she swallowed, Besides Pete, of course."

"Oh James, we all know I'm the prettiest here," said a very offended looking Sirius.

"James," Lily sputtered out uncontrollably and then immediately blushed.

Everyone had a physical reaction to what she said, whether it was Marlene's giggle, Sirius's gregarious laughter, or Mary's "Oh, shit!" Everyone was shocked at the sound of James's name coming from her mouth, including Lily herself. James was smirking, his suspicions slightly confirmed. While this didn't mean that she liked him, per se, it at least told that she enjoyed looking at him a little bit. That was a step in the right direction.

"Shit," she said, still blushing, "You're never gonna let me forget that I told you how hot you are."

This got a loud roar from everyone, and James smiled wide, "What can I say, Evans, I can't help it. You know it's quite difficult being this sexy all the time. Don't even get me started on everyone who just uses me for my insanely hot bod-"

"Shut up," she said, glaring at him, the veritaserum was beginning to wear off, but not before her following sentence, "Just because you are insanely attractive does not mean that I like you at all. You're still insanely difficult to be around."

"Well, you admitted you're attracted to me so I think we should give you veritaserum more often," James winked at her.

"Alright, let's keep this moving," Peter said, clearly as over this situation as Lily was.

Lily inhaled and then looked at Mary, "Truth or dare?"

"Hmm, I think we have far too much sexual tension in this room for me to be comfortable doing a dare, so," Mary smiled, "I pick truth for my own dignity."

"You're boring," Marlene snickered as everyone laughed.

"I'd rather be boring than have to snog any of these idiots."

"That's rude," Remus said, trying to hide his smirk as he and the rest of the boys tried their best to show their offence. The looks of pouting and hurt went right over Mary and Lily's head, though.

Lily and Mary giggled as she asked her if Mary had ever had a sex dream about anyone. Mary laughed, saying that she, Sirius, and Dorcus had a threesome in her dreams the other night. Sirius shuddered, saying that there were "too many boobs" involved.

After a few more rounds, Sirius was dared to snog Lily.

So that is how she ended up straddling Sirius on the couch, giggling like a maniac. She was feeling slightly tipsy, and something in her was excited at the idea of maybe making James a little jealous.

"Can I be honest with you?" Sirius whispered in her ear.

"Of course, Pads," She smiled. While Sirius was just as obnoxious as James was, she honestly enjoyed his company. She had gotten to know him as he usually hung out with Remus as they worked on Prefect paperwork. He had a sweet side that he rarely showed.

"Clearly, I don't even like women. I'm only doing this in hopes that you and James stop dancing around each other and just fuck or something," He smirked, still whispering.

Lily glanced over at James, who was biting his lips, scowling slightly. So he was jealous already, and they hadn't even kissed yet. Good to know.

"I doubt that this will work if that's what you're trying to achieve," She looked at him.

He shrugged, "Worth a shot. Besides, I have a theory that we're the best kissers here, so how about we find out?"

"Sounds great to me," She said as she leaned in, her lips softly to his. Sirius's hand found its way to her lower back, the other on her jaw. She felt his tongue tap her bottom lip, and she copied his motion, her hands entangled in his hair.

His hands traced down her spine and on her waist as she pulled him closer. He kissed down her jaw and neck, and she caught a glimpse of James halfway across the room, frowning and looking at his hands. While Lily was kissing Sirius, all she could think about was his best friend. About how it would feel to run her hands through his hair and down his back. How his stubble would feel against her skin. She imagined his hands on her body-

This was ridiculous. Lily forced herself to focus on what was happening currently instead of daydreaming about that idiot.

Sirius's lips returned to her's, and she felt his grip tighten as the kiss turned more passionate. He moved his hand down her waist and to her bare thigh, touching and squeezing as he went. She moved her hands from his hair to his ears and jaw, feeling as they rhythmically moved together, tongues slightly teasing here and there. He kept one hand on her thigh and then moved the other from her waist to her butt, squeezing softly and then back up to her thigh, causing a laugh from both of them.

"Did you like that?" Lily asked, smirking.

"You got quite the ass, Evans," Sirius giggled.

They walked back to the circle, both still laughing. James wouldn't meet her eye, as the fire next to him was suddenly the most interesting thing in the room.

"I was too sober for that," Lily smiled and took another swig of the drink.

"Agreed," Sirius said as she handed him the bottle and took a drink. As he exhaled, he turned to James, "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," he said, looking a little annoyed still. While he didn't like what Sirius did, he knew that it was an attempt to get him to act on his feelings with Lily.

"Take off Lily's shirt," Sirius said, smirking before adding, "But do it as seductively as you can."

The group giggled and gasped while Lily's whole body heated up, "why am I getting brought into all of these?"

"You can say no," Dorcus took another shot of firewhisky.

"Well, I didn't say that I didn't want to," Lily mumbled slightly and stood up. She watched James take another shot and then walk over to her, swallowing to try to hide his nervousness.

"How about this," he grabbed her biceps and guided her to the corner of the room. Her back hit the wall, and their faces were close, less than an inch apart, and the smell of firewhisky and cologne filled Lily's nostrils. Feeling his hot breath on her lips made her feel things she both wanted and didn't want at the same time. Lily focused her eyes on the table in front of her. This was where she usually sat to do her homework or Prefect paperwork.

"This place seems familiar, doesn't it?" James whispered as his cold hands traced her biceps, making her hot skin even hotter. Although he was doing well covering it, his hands were shaking slightly. The only thing separating skin on skin contact was a small, thin layer of Lily's shirt sleeve, rolled to the elbows like James's.

Lily looked up at the ceiling. He was too much of a temptation, and looking at him, particularly his lips, would make her want for him grow exponentially, and it was already hard enough to fight her feelings off without inhaling his cologne and breath.

"This is where I do my Prefect paperwork with Remus."

"Right. And here's my plan," James said, still whispering as he moved his mouth to her ear, causing chills to cascade down her body, "From now on, every time you sit down to do your work, you'll look at the exact spot that I made you want me."

Lily swallowed as she moved her head straight forward, inhaling as his hands moved to her waist and hooked in the belt loops of her skirt, "How do you know that I'd want you? Or that this memory could possibly hinder my focus on my work?" she asked.

"Because now, every time you sit down to work here, you'll start to think of me instead," he rubbed his nose behind her ear as he slowly untucked her shirt, "and I think it's my turn to act as a distraction now."

Her breath hitched as he moved his hands onto her bare waist. They were calloused and traced their way from her stomach to her lower back repeatedly.

"Also," he added, inhaling and bringing his face in front of hers again, his voice dropping its seductive tone, "I'm sorry."

"S-sorry?" Lily sputtered. It was harder and harder to remember how to breathe normally, how to think. She knew he was right, partly. Lately, whenever she looked at him, she was starting to realize how he had matured. How much he cared about people and how much she admired him. She hated change, and perhaps that's why she hated how she felt about him. He was already enough of a distraction, and so this moment was only going to make it worse.

He brought his hands out from under her shirt to her hips. She was fighting to not reflect how she was feeling inside, fighting to keep herself from closing her eyes and biting her lip, to release under his grasp or run her hands over his body. She was fighting the instinct to release her head back and exhale harshly.

"I don't want you to feel objectified. I would rather do something like this at a time where we both wanted it," James said, moving his head to the crook of her shoulder and then to her ear again, "when it's not really forced."

"Well," Lily bit her lip. She was caving. James knew how to tease a girl, "Who says I don't want this?"

She didn't have much time to wonder if that was a good or bad decision to say what she just said. She felt James stop breathing on her ear before the corners of his mouth turned up slightly. He brought his lips to her ear and whispered, "I knew it."

He softly nibbled her ear, moving a hand up to her hair, moving it out of the way as he started planting small butterfly kisses down her neck. She tightly gripped her skirt, forcing her hands to stay stuck to her side.

"Evans," his kisses turned longer, more passionate, and his hand was on her neck, gripping her hair and the other on her waist. She closed her eyes, fought to breathe and then bit her mouth shut, "You're a bit tense."

"O-oh?" She stuttered as his hand moved from her hair to her jaw.

He nibbled the skin at the bottom of her neck, near the front of her shirt.

"And we haven't even gotten close to what the dare was actually about."

She had forgotten entirely about the dare. She also had forgotten there was a small group across the room; it felt like they were the only two people left in the world. She often felt that way with James.

Her hands were clinging to her skirt for dear life, knowing that if they were released for a second, they would be tangled in his brown curls.

"Well, this is just-" She inhaled every few words, "This is just basic- basic human instinct."

James moved his hand from her hip to her bare waist again, squeezing softly and making her fists clench tighter, "Oh, for sure. nothing else."

She closed her eyes and inhaled sharply as he moved his mouth to the top button, undoing it with his teeth and then kissing her chest. He rubbed his nose up her neck as she felt his hot breath breathe against her ear.

"Fuck it," she said, releasing her skirt and bringing her hands to his muscular shoulders, feeling one of the many benefits that quidditch brought James. She really didn't stand a chance resisting him in the first place and honestly felt proud that she had pushed through for that long.

"Hh, hey," he whispered and nibbled her ear again, making her shudder in his grasp. He snaked his hand from her waist over the top of her shirt and undid the second button, "I think we should play this more often."

"I'm sure you do," Lily ran a hand to his messy hair, grabbing a fist full and then released after a second. Her fingers played with his curls while the other moved to his broad back.

He kissed down her neck again, softly nibbling here and there as he made his way to the third button. As his arms moved to her shoulders, he again undid the button with his teeth, "I also haven't done this before, so I hope you know that I'm feeling pretty proud of myself."

"You're pretty talkative," Lily replied. The third button was undone, and he kissed the top of her cleavage, making her instinctively grip his shirt and hair.

"And you're pretty hot," he brought his face close to hers, and they looked at each other. They were both sticky with sweat and had pink faces that showed how quite excited they were. Lily's lip was in between her teeth, and she brought her hand out of his hair and to his neck.

"You're a bit tense, Potter," she joked as she felt his arm muscles, feeling how nervous he actually was, although she found it quite cute.

"Well, my legs are jello, so I would have to say that I disagree," James said, smiling. He brought his face back to behind her ear. His hands found their way to her neck and thigh, softly massaging each.

Lily chuckled as he ducked down, kissing her chest and undoing another button, but instead of bringing his mouth to her skin, which was more cleavage, he moved on to the next, crouching down slightly. She brought her hands to his hair, both of them getting tangled in his messy brown mop. She figured that since her bra was beginning to be exposed, he wanted to stay as respectful as possible. Her stomach felt a flutter at that thought. He respected her enough to not use her for her body... While that shouldn't be such the big deal that it was, she still smiled at it.

He moved his way down, undoing every button as he went. As he reached the bottom, he brought both of his hands to her waist, making her breath hitch as his cold skin touched her sticky skin. He planted a small kiss just above her belly button, then slowly straightened up, eyes closed as his nose and forehead never broke contact with her skin.

When his face was close to hers, she moved her hands from his hair to his neck. His lips were parted slightly, and her lips tingled as his hot breath hit them.

"Lily," he breathed softly.

Her breath hitched, and her stomach twisted when he said her name. This was a normal reaction when he called her by her first name anyway, as it was more sincere; however, when he said her name like that...

"Y-Yes?" she responded, closing her eyes. Her fingers softly played with his hair.

"You are so beautiful."

The moment those words breathed onto Lily's lips, it felt like everything stopped. Time, her intense heartbeat, her breathing. The only thing she could do was smile softly and put one of her hands on his cheek. His hands felt up her bare skin, over her bra and chest before going over her shoulders, sliding under her shirt. Finally sliding her shirt off her shoulders and arms and onto the floor.

She moved her head into the crease of his neck, not surprised at her feeling of disappointment, "I guess we need to return to everyone else now."

"Oh yeah," he said, wrapping his arms around her, "I completely forgot about them."

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