#(obviously no hate to those who like or even prefer his bob cut) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

strawberrysoup · 5 years ago

Text

Pocketful of Posies || Chapter 3

You’d been hiding for years and years now; from your family, from society, from alphas and packs. Suppressants were dangerous but effective and necessary for an omega who refused to be owned—but no suppressants were strong enough to fool the nose of a super soldier, who together with his pack would stop at nothing to bind you to them forever.

pairings: dark!Avengers x reader word length: 3.4k chapters: 3/? warnings: A/B/O dynamics, power imbalances, noncon and dubcon sexual situations, loss of autonomy, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat — this is a dark!fic, read at your own risk.

Tony had presented as a delta at twelve, much to his father’s insurmountable disdain. Howard Stark had gone to great lengths to ensure himself an alpha prime for a son—he’d spent years hunting down the perfect omega, who proceeded to have almost unheard of difficulties getting pregnant. After a grueling pregnancy, said omega had the gall to have massive complications during birth that meant she’d never carry another pup. The fact that Tony couldn’t even do the simplest thing right—present as an alpha prime, like himself, like Captain America—was just heinous.

But for all of his intelligence, Howard Stark had been a moron. Being a delta came with a slew of advantages over alphas, over alpha primes even. His heightened empathy was an extraordinary tool, his intuition was nearly on par with an omegas. Sure, he wasn’t as dominant as an alpha but he could hold his own in most situations. Alpha orders rarely worked on him, at the very least. He could induce an omega’s heat and even if he couldn’t completely sate an omega during that time as he lacked a knot, deltas were critical in giving alphas periods of rest during the week-long estrous.

If an omega was the glue that held a pack together, deltas built the foundations. Their ability to support packmates on multiple levels was crucial—just like an omega, they were able to understand their packmates deeply and act as conduits and facilitators.

He’d never been called a manipulator before. Especially not by a sweet-faced omega with surprisingly sharp little fangs. He supposed that most deltas were considered more… cunning than other presentations. Tony preferred the terms suave or charismatic, if he was being honest. Deltas were charming, dammit. But she’d reacted like he was some sort of con artist, a blink away from hiding the Queen up his sleeve.

Letting the suit catch her while he stood aside might’ve caused a bit of unnecessary distress—it was a good thing said suit was equipped with a silencer, or the shrieking would’ve brought down every alpha in the surrounding three towns. Steve had been giving him those disappointed eyebrows since he’d emerged from the woods, even after Thor and Peter took her inside to be bathed. Tony figured that was punishment enough, especially considering their omega seemed to hate him.

“We should probably go through the car,” Steve sighed, running a hand over the back of his head—Tony knew the alpha prime didn’t want his own discontent to unsettle the rest of the pack, “thoroughly. Make sure you check for anything hidden, we’ll make stacks for what we can and can’t give back.”

The blond shifted closer to Tony’s side, his other hand brushing against his back gently. Alpha primes weren’t as in tune with their pack’s emotions, that’s what omegas and deltas were for, but Steve and Thor put in more effort than any other’s Tony had ever encountered. They’d waited for him to arrive after all, instead of converging on the scared omega in a group of two alpha primes and two alphas—even Bruce’s serene beta wouldn’t have been enough to calm her. Steve realized that Tony was put off, had made the effort to notice the shift in the delta’s demeanor, and moved to offer comfort if he should want it.

“I doubt she has much,” Bruce had his arms crossed over his chest, one hand rubbing at his chin as he stared towards the house, “I can’t decide if her body chemistry is just a 180° of what it should be because of the suppressants or if there’s something else.”

“You called her something earlier, when we were walking through the woods,” the blond had already started pulling bags from the back of her Tahoe, setting them gently on the ground so that his delta and beta could begin looking through them, “you called her classical?”

“Classical presenting omegas? It’s a theory that started cropping up in the late nineties,” Tony’s hand bobbed slightly in the air, “widely debated in accuracy. There have been very, very few case studies but they’re pretty promising—essentially, we’re looking at traits that were bred out of omegas a thousand years ago or more that are starting to crop up again due to environmental and cultural stressors.”

“Or,” Bruce sent the delta a stern look, “it could be the result of genetics; omegas on both sides of the family likely went extremely scarce, to the point of nonexistence. Both parents must’ve carried the same near ancient recessive genotypes, the alleles would’ve had to match up perfectly in order to produce offspring with those traits.”

“Like I said, it’s widely debated,” Tony rolled his eyes affectionately at the beta, riffling through the bag at his feet, “either way, our omega is displaying traits that haven’t been prominent since the 10th century.”

“What do we need to do? What do we need to watch out for?” If alpha primes were only good for one thing, it was determining the necessary course of action for their packs’ safety and prosperity.

“There’s no way to tell for sure exactly what we’re looking at, except for an omega who’s biology is incredibly convoluted and—” the sound Bruce made was one of disdain as he pulled a ziplock with what must’ve been at least a hundred small blue pills in it from one of her bags, “chemically altered beyond belief. How could she even get a hold of so many suppressants?”

“She’s willful,” Steve sighed, tossing a matching baggy towards the disheveled beta, “Even Peter’s purr doesn’t affect her the way it should, it’s a good thing Thor and I coexist so well—keeping her in hand would be difficult for one prime.”

“Jesus Christ,” Tony’s jaw dropped as he withdrew a fucking machete from one of the bags, the several hunting knives, snares, and fishing lures neatly arranged in the bag barely even shifting at the jerky movement, “can you imagine an omega using one of these?”

“That one I can,” the blond snorted, gesturing back over his shoulder with one thumb, “if she’d managed to grab that bag we’d be a couple of packmates short.”

“This is the one she was about to make a run with,” Bruce held up a wallet, opening it a moment later, “no debit or credit cards, driver’s license for Colorado, local library card, $200 in American money.”

“There’s a wallet in this one too,” Steve frowned, unzipping it and peeking inside, “looks about the same, license is out of Quebec though—and another library card. No cash in this one though.”

“I bet it’s hidden in there,” Tony stated, having already pulled out two fifty dollar bills from a small hole in the seam of the inside of his chosen bag, “oh, here’s the suppressant stash from this one.”

The sound of tires on gravel distracted the three of them, head’s popping up to see Bucky and Carol making their way down the driveway in a dark green Jeep Wrangler. Both looked antsy and there were shopping bags piled so high in the back seat Bucky couldn’t see out of the rear view mirror. Carol was out of the car before it even came to a complete stop, coming to stand in the middle of the chaos of neatly packed bags.

“This is all she had?” The blonde alpha questioned, frowning at the three remaining boxes and the camping equipment in the back of the Tahoe, eyes briefly passing over the contents of the bags on the ground, “good thing we went overboard with the shopping.”

“Did you buy her any clothes?” Bruce questioned, looking at a faded, threadbare old t-shirt he’d just withdrawn from the bottom of the duffle, “everything she has is either full of holes or has been washed so much it’s practically see through.”

“We bought everything,” Bucky answered as he dropped down from the lifted Jeep, “clothes, toiletries, collars, nesting supplies—we grabbed some of those omega diet essentials too, the vitamins and the powder stuff they’re supposed to have.”

“She inside?” Carol interjected before the conversation could be continued, “I wanna see her.”

“Thor and Peter took her inside to get cleaned up about 10 minutes ago, Sam’s starting on dinner,” Steve stepped to the side and motioned the two towards the house, “be gentle, she’s… she’s having a hard time.”

“Have we figured out how long she’s been hiding for?” Bucky ignored his friend’s gesture, turning back towards the Jeep to retrieve several bags, “Wanda told us what sizes to buy but wouldn’t say anything else about her.”

“This ID says she’s thirty-two,” Steve flicked the plastic ID, having dropped the rest of the wallet back in the bag, “Bruce, what did the one you had say?”

“Twenty-nine,” the beta’s response was quick enough that the alpha prime knew he’d memorized the details of the ID and anything else he’d found in the bag already, “there’s no telling how long she’s been on her own though—at least a few years considering how well established she is living from her car.”

“She has two different IDs?” Carol’s eyebrow raised, taking several of the shopping bags Bucky passed her without complaint.

“And at least a thousand doses of suppressants,” Tony snorted, “a machete, I’m pretty sure if we keep digging we’ll find a gun—”

“Thank you Tony,” Steve cut the delta off before he could start any nonsense, “we’ve found two wallets with two IDs so far, but she’s got three more bags like this and then those boxes. We’re just trying to sort what she needs from what she doesn’t right now.”

“How is she?” Bucky’s question was obviously directed at his fellow delta, eyes not wavering even when he saw Steve and Bruce exchange glances.

“She called me a manipulative monster and tried to bite me.”

“There’s no telling how long she’s been hiding, or what she went through before she started hiding—or even what she’s been through while she’s been hiding,” Bruce sent the delta a look that bordered on provoked, “and you were being antagonistic.”

“I was not, I was just—”

“Being yourself, huh?” Carol smirked, dodging past the men and heading up the path towards the mansion before the billionaire could respond.

“What, you guys think we should’ve waited for the sentient iceberg?” Tony jabbed his thumb towards Bucky, “his delta charm is rustier than that heap of metal we found attached to his arm after he pulled you out of the Potomac.”

“You don’t even know what charm is yah fuckin’ grifter.”

Steve dropped his forehead into his hand; there was a consistent theme in large packs that resulted in deltas being at each other’s throats constantly. It would only get worse when Loki arrived, the third of the trio was an entirely different breed of antagonistic. Steve was absolutely sure that all of his packmates looked upon each other with affection, at least 99% of the time, but Tony, Loki, and Bucky fought constantly without an omega’s balancing presence.

The clearing of a throat silenced the squabbling deltas, attention immediately going to where Bruce stood with a stack of notebooks in his hand, “one of the boxes has notebooks and library books, the other has dry foods. She’s got a sleeping bag, tent, a water filtration system—anything she could need to survive in the woods or her car for an extended period of time.”

“No notebooks or food in the go bags?” Bucky frowned, arms crossing over his chest and he shifted his weight when they all responded negatively, “I could understand why the notebooks wouldn’t be a priority to bring with her, but no food?”

“From her supplies it looks like she’s probably a passable hunter, food would take up too much space if it wasn’t absolutely necessary. Looks like she prefers hunting knives to bread and peanut butter,” the beta shrugged, motioning to the piles he’d been organizing while Steve tried to mediate the deltas squabble, “each of her bags has a wallet with an ID, cash hidden somewhere, a change of clothing, a bag of suppressants, water filtering tablets, the hunting knife, matches, a water bottle and a thermal blanket.”

“Pragmatic,” Bucky muttered quietly as he stepped up to the trunk of the Tahoe, glancing at the box of notebooks and library books, “Neotropical Diversification, Monoco—what the fuck, Mono-coty-ledons? Avian Genomics in Ecology and Evolution, Orientation and Navigation in Vertebrates. I don’t know what half of those words even mean, and they’re titles of books.”

“That’s all environment biology—ecology,” Tony’s eyebrows went up, “niche stuff too, higher level.”

“Good thing there’s a lot of us to keep her brain occupied,” Bruce’s lips split into a small grin, eyes directed at the pile of knives, “otherwise she’d be difficult to manage. Whatever happened in the meantime, it seems she might’ve attended university at some point—this level of understanding is usually somewhere in a graduate program, although it’s a pretty wide variety of specific topics that aren’t generally associated with each other.”

“They are library books,” Tony stated with a shrug, “maybe it was all she could get her hands on at this level. We did find multiple library cards, all to different library districts. The ones she has now are all from the same district—does she have any Canadian IDs?”

“One from Quebec and one from Ontario,” the beta pointed out two bags, one of which was sitting by Steve’s feet, “those two bags. The other IDs were Colorado, Alaska, and Michigan. We’ll have to figure out which one is real, if she has a real one. The name of the housekeeper the company assigned to us matches the Ontario ID.”

“This is insane,” Steve sighed, shoulders heaving with the breath, “she must be running from something, hiding.”

“Wanda will tell us, I’m sure,” Bucky’s flesh hand landed on the blond’s shoulder with a clap, fingers squeezing momentarily, “for now, how about we just focus on getting her settled in the cabin with her things.”

“Should we let her get settled here?” Bruce frowned, a worried line creasing his forehead, “I’m worried it could be detrimental, for her to adapt here and have to move to the compound once our vacation is over. As soon as she starts to get comfortable she’s gonna be uprooted all over again.”

“We’ll discuss it tonight at dinner,” Steve spoke before anyone else could prolong the debate, “Hopefully Natasha, Clint, and Loki will get here in time. Sam’s making lasagna, said we wouldn’t be eating until late anyway. Let’s bring everything in, minus the things she doesn’t need.”

“Nesting supplies to the laundry room?”

“Yeah, toiletries to Nat and Wanda’s bathroom. Put her clothes with mine or Thor’s,” the blond alpha instructed, heaving several bags into each arm before turning on his heel and heading into the house, “leave the camping supplies, we’ll lock up what she doesn’t need back in the garage for now.”

Her scent, chemically masked and altered, was emanating through the entire cabin, he could smell it the moment he stepped over the threshold. Everything looked spotless and he smiled, ducking his head slightly to hide it; he liked that the whole house smelled like his omega—their omega, who’d spent a lot of time and effort making everything look perfect for their arrival.

Wanda and Carol were in the living room, bathed in the light of the sun just beginning its descent. The stairs, one set leading up and one down, were straight ahead, blocking the view of the kitchen, dining room, and study. The parlor to his left featured haphazardly abandoned suitcases, the rest of the pack who couldn’t quite be bothered at the moment to properly deal with their things.

The smell got stronger up the stairs, he could hear the low rumble of both Thor and Peter’s combined purr. Their omega was in distress—alpha’s struggled when omegas were in distress and Steve imagined both were getting their hearts twisted in their chests. His packmates dispersed to follow their assigned tasks, Bruce joining Sam in the kitchen to help with dinner. Steve dropped bags at the appropriate doors in the hall before making his way through Thor’s room and into the bathroom, where the two alphas were practically piled in the tub with their omega.

Peter sat on the edge of the tub, pants rolled up past his knees and his legs in the water where she was leant up against them. Thor was half in the water, shirt gone as he leaned over to clean the mud and grime from her skin, manipulating her limp limbs gently.

“I take it she didn’t want a bath,” Steve murmured, eyes flashing around the half destroyed bathroom.

“She can fight my purr more than we expected,” Peter looked almost bashful, the hand that wasn’t stroking her cheek running over the back of his head.

“Omegas on Asgard are very similar to her,” Thor commented quietly, still focused on his task, “its why I found them so meek when I first arrived—Omegas are willful and determined. She just needs to be trained, her behavior can be corrected.”

“I know there are omega protests sometimes, but I’ve never seen one completely reject packs,” the brunet alpha was frowning, “they have biological requirements for interaction with others—her body can’t generate certain chemicals without the necessary pheromones that the different presentations provide. It could stunt her immune system, damage hormone glands like the thyroid and—”

“We’ll get all of that figured out Peter, we can fix anything that’s wrong with her,” Steve told himself it wasn’t a false promise, “it’ll just take time and a lot of effort. Let’s get her dressed and up to the attic. Bucky took all of the extra bedding for nesting to wash but we can make do with what we’ve got temporarily, the scents might help.”

“Would you grab one of my shirts?” Thor asked, looking back at the other prime imploringly; it wasn’t just a simple request—Thor was asking that their shared omega be scented by his clothing first.

Steve hadn’t been born an alpha prime. Sometimes, he felt like a delta that had been gutted and pumped with morphine—his empathy had been stolen, replaced with strength and adrenaline and aggression. He missed the part of himself that allowed him the deeper connection with others, the amount of effort he had to expend to determine the emotions of his pack made him feel like an alien (especially if they weren’t telegraphed by scent), but sometimes it was okay. Sometimes, it meant he had a wider understanding than other alpha primes because while he didn’t retain the heightened sense, he knew where to start to unravel their puzzles.

With Thor it was easiest. All he really had to do was follow his own stream of consciousness—wanting the omega clean and warm and fed and scented. He wanted her to smell like him, wanted her wrapped in his clothes, his blankets, he wanted it beneath her skin and seeping from her pores. And so did Thor. The Aesir was asking Steve to take a loss, to not fight him for the right to scent her first.

It was a good thing he hadn’t been an alpha prime, or the request would’ve absolutely ended in some sort of dominance display. Aggression had immediately surged though his chest at the question, the challenge, the demand, he needed to prove he deserved it more—Steve shook his head firmly, cleared his throat, and rolled his shoulders back before making eye contact with the other prime.

“Sure thing, any in particular?”

There was relief on Thor’s face, along with understanding; he was fully aware of the sacrifice Steve was making and the effort it took to make it, “I know you’ll chose the right thing.”

They didn’t realize their omega was practically having an out of body experience—that she felt like she was hovering over her own body, watching in horror as the two alpha primes who’s mingled scents she was sure marked each and every one of their packmates, communicated like real people. The suppressants hadn’t completely brutalized her scent receptors or hindbrain; she’d known there was something too much about the blond alphas, something that whispered to her omega senses. They were alpha primes and that was a nightmare.

Because alpha primes weren’t supposed to co-habitate. They didn’t share. They were aggressive, territorial, verging on violent. The idea that the two had somehow weaseled their way through that instinctive disposition upon meeting, had managed to form a pack—it didn’t bear thinking about. All she needed to think about was getting out quickly, before something irreversible happened and she was trapped forever.

#avengers x reader #steve rogers x reader #tony stark x reader #thor x reader #bucky barnes x reader #sam wilson x reader #bruce banner x reader #carol danvers x reader #clint barton x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #pocketful of posies #posies chapter 3 #will reblog w tags in a bit

957 notes · View notes

muzaktomyears · 4 years ago

Text

thank you for the tag in the Beatles fic questions, @dusted-0negin & @cinnamontoastandtears!! <3 Sorry, I've had this in drafts for a while but it took ages to write because it got so long....

Which is why it's all going under a cut:

Have you written rpf before, or are the Beatles the first you’ve ever done it for?

My main fandom is ancient history rpf of my academic area of expertise, which is rpf, technically, though that's so divorced from the modern day that even trying to write actual analytical history of it is so close to fanfic tbh. But I am a historian and I do try hard to make it as historically-accurate as I possibly can; I don't write the main pairing based on a book or film as most people do, but on the history as I perceive it. And I try to do the same here though obviously I don't take it anywhere near as seriously lmao (or I try not to but it happens anyway because that's just my nature). (Do message me if you want to read my other fandom fic, I'm happy to give out the name!)

What’s your favorite ship to write and why?

John/Paul (sorry, I don't like smushnames, I am Old), because it's so fucking ridiculous and drama-y and you can write any version tbh, angst or fluff or smut or whatever, it has everything at different times. I am also getting in to Paul/George though largely in an unrequited way (on George's side) and of course George/Ringo which is a lovely antidote to the ott-ness of John/Paul, though I've not yet written it as an actual pairing let alone published what I have written. (I've fallen in love with George/Bob too which I did not ever expect so maybe I will return to that...?)

Easiest beatle to write?

PAULPAULPAULPAULPAUL, a thousand times Paul. It does scare me a bit because I don't even try, or at least I don't think I do, I just think of a scenario and think 'What would I Paul do??' and it just comes out endlessly until I have to physically stop myself writing more (I don't always succeed). Not sure why but yeah, I think we are fundamentally very similar people and I hate that tbh. I was and still am scared to write John but he's actually not that bad when you get down to it... at least when riffing off Paul, from Paul's POV. I still haven't finished my first John POV fic though so we'll see, his internal life terrifies me tbh, who even knows what's going on there?? Certainly not him.

Hardest Beatle to write?

Oh, George. I was a bit worried that I'd written so much Paul, and planned/mostly written John and Ringo POVs, but I still hadn't managed to come up with a George POV no matter how hard I tried. Then the other week I had a perfect idea and wrote down notes for it and it ended up over 10 pages long lmao. Again, not fully written yet so we'll see, but I did find it easy once I got going, though I did have some issues with J&P trying to take over again... but that's sort of the point of the story. I hope I can finish it soon anyway because I really enjoyed even just writing up notes for it :) I'm not sure why I find George so hard (though it seems other people do too) - I think I am quite similar to him (though nowhere near as much as I am to Paul) and strangely it works the other way round, I therefore find him harder to write. And I feel very sorry for him. I feel sorry for them all of course, but George and Ringo especially, and George most of all because he was stuck within those stupid dynamics for years before Ringo, and Ringo both because of that and by dint of his personality found it easier to disengage, where George suffered a lot in (not quite) silence, I feel, and writing his internal monologue of that wounds me to my core. I think writing break-up George would be acutely impossible for me. But yeah <3

Do you prefer to write in the original era or modern au?

Original. I will read Modern AUs and I've enjoyed them but I'm really here for at least an attempt at historical accuracy both in my own work and in other people's, so yeah. That's just my opinion though - Modern AUs are fine! Great, even! And I do like to see how people change stuff/adjust it. Just not my cup of tea.

What’s your least favorite pair to write and why? Elaborate if the reason isn’t incredibly negative!

I dunno because I haven't written many yet or at least not fully/published... I think it would be something like Paul/Dot which was just absolutely awful for both of them but especially Dot, who I am so so glad got out tbh. But we'll see.

Do you read or write more?

I read more. Though it does depend - I go through writing phases where I spent a few days/a week doing almost nothing but in my spare time, but even then I tend to read as well. I look at the main tag every day and I will give most things a try. Still haven't commented or even kudosed yet...... sorry! I will get round to it and there's a huge backlog of fics I have bookmarked (not an AO3, literally bookmarked on Chrome) to get through and comment on! <3 This summer when I have some time!!

Aus or canon compliant? If you prefer aus, what is your favorite to write about?

I do prefer canon-compliant because of the historian thing but... AUs are good too, especially if they're based on some slight divergence like 'what if x never happened/did happen?' and then it all just spins off from there. But then ridiculous AUs like what if they were in Star Trek also excite me lmao and I have at least three Star Trek prompts in my prompt list at the moment...

Is there a ship you like to see more of?

Tbh anything that's not any combination of the main 4. Like, a ship of one of them with a 'side character' can be way more interesting to me in terms of characterisation and dynamics. And even of two of the 'side characters' tbh even if it's a 'traditional' ship... idk. But in general terms: I am Obsessed with the John&Ringo relationship at the moment, not necessarily shippy but just their relationship as friends, plus the same (but less so) for Paul&Ringo, John&George, and (of course) Paul&George.

Is there an au/a trope you’d like to see more of?

omfg. Let me open my prompt document. Okay, here's a few I have either on the go or I intend to look at eventually:

- Mafia AU (obviously - the (less awful) inversion of the Kray fic, essentially!)

- Bodyswap where it's all four (and even other people too??)

- Philippines fic!!!!! Either where it all goes wrong(er) or just canon tbh

- Group therapy fic (lmfao)

- Social media AU (modern or an alt universe where they had Twitter in the 1960s idk) - mainly for Brian trying to monitor it all tbh

- Jelly bean incident fic (serious and/or crack)

- More random outsider POVs, either of famous people (I have Little Richard mostly written, and I want to do Elvis but that would take time to research) or just rando OCs (like their neighbours and stuff like that? idek)

- Just more Bob Dylan tbh, as POV character, as a side character, just being referenced, I don't even care, I love him <3

- We have quite a few 'back in time' ones (and I've written one too) but........... what about 'forward in time'???? IMAGINE THAT. >:)

Okay I'm going to stop there before I give away all my ideas lmfao (not really, I have at least 50 others oh god) <33

What’s a fanfic trope pet peeve?

Hmmm. Not sure because like I said, I will give almost anything a try, and I tend to be convinced to some degree by most things even if it's not my idea of the characters (esp re: Paul). But yeah the stereotypes thing gets old very fast, unless you do something very clever with it, and the wife-bashing or even just wife-ignoring tbh (or other character-bashing, even of guys). And the ones where you can tell that the author has an absolute fave that they put most of their effort into (though not always to great effect). I admit that I do this too (well, not much effort lmao) but I do try to write the others as well as I can and not stereotype them, especially in serious fic. This isn't only a problem in this fandom tbf - it occurs in every fandom, especially in the main pairing, and you wonder wtf people are doing writing it if they love one character so much that they see none of their faults and hate the other so that they see only faults. It's weird. But yeah.

Other little things: I feel that people tend to write people being too (immediately) forgiving of John&Paul, and not even of their weird relationship but just stuff like wanting to have careers in music when it looked like throwing their lives away. Especially thinking of Mimi and Jim here but applies to a lot of people tbh.

Also, not a trope as such but: the Americanisms do get to me because I am super petty, sorry! I don't immediately backclick or anything but it does pull me out of even the best fic. Some are very easy to fix (like 'closet' or 'couch') but others are harder to pin down if you don't have close knowledge of vocab. tbh I even dislike some Britishisms that I don't think are accurate to their place or time or class (especially). But this is just one of my many Issues that I have even irl with friends who call it a sofa and a lounge etc., so please ignore me!

Do you prefer to write one shots or multi-chaptered fics?

One shots. I have never written a multi-chaptered fic in my life in any fandom. I don't like not knowing where it's going, so I do have to plan at least an ending before I start writing. I've tried to get more into it here but it still terrifies me. I don't want to become the WiP-abandoner! :(

On a scale from 1 to 10 how much have fanfiction taken over your life?

Right now?? Like, 8. I have other stuff to be doing but it is always at the back of my mind lmao.

Do you have an author you look up to?

Oh god. I haven't been here long so I'm not fully versed in what's been written, especially a while ago, but yeah, I have so many. Sorry, I cannot list them or we'd be here all day but see my answer to the next question for some of them (though by no means all!).

What is a fic you can’t get tired of, no matter how many times you’ve read it?

I haven't re-read many as I don't have the time yet, but here's some that I have or am fully intending to read again properly (a lot of these authors I'm not aware of as having tumblrs, so please let me know if they do so I can link them here too!):

- 'metered' by @fingersfallingupwards - as I've said before this is the first thing I read in this fandom that made me think 'wow', and want to read more stuff like it

- 'What Happens in Cheshire' by cloudy_blue - because I love outsider POV more than anything and this is my favourite so far I think? (Also adore 'Tessellate' by the same author for similar reasons)

- 'Ignorance is Bliss' by bunnoculars - another great (and unexpected to me at least) outsider POV

- 'burning' by Keiser Franz/@dusted-0negin - for (the absolutely accurate) John's praise kink

- 'Mendips' by mrswinstonmccartney - because it's so well-written and I particularly love any Mimi-Paul interaction lmao (as you shall see.......)

- anything and everything by LouisWain1939 (dunno if you want me to link to your tumblr!), but especially 'Turn Me On Dead Man' which is terrifying and perfect

- 'swallow back that fear' by softsmilesandbrokenhearts - because Jim, I love Jim :( <3 This I feel is the peak level of Jim concern

- 'See Us In The Real Life' by RedheadAmongWolves - another excellent outsider POV that I ADORE <3

...that's just from a brief look at my bookmarks. So yeah. MANY <3333

Do you have a current fic obsession?

I mean, there's a lot, but right now the one I click on fastest whenever there's an update (and that is some competition!!) is 'You Like Me Too Much, And I Like You' - whoever is writing this, idk if you're even here, but I love you! Again it's not particularly how I see the characters but I just love how you're writing it and obvs I am here in the front row for any and all Paul whump haha <3

How seriously do you take fanfic writing?

On the surface not but then actually deep down I take it super fucking seriously, like, if I make one typo or mistake I WILL DIE. That is just my personality tbh. I am Paul and criticism hurts me :D

tagging: I shan't tag directly but please, other people, do this!! I did find it fascinating to analyse and I've loved reading other people's

nsfw bit below

Do sex positions (top/bottom) effect your enjoyment when reading or writing a fic?

Yeah, to an extent. I have clear preferences for both reading and writing and I tend to in most fandoms but here it's not so bad... especially because I feel the John/Paul dynamic in particular changes over time and is inherently very switchy. I've only written top John/bottom Paul so far, which is my preference, at least at the beginning, which is what I've addressed so far, but it does and will change and I'm fine with both writing and reading that. (As opposed to my other fandom where it is VERY VERY set and I find it hard to even contemplate them switching........ I have tried but my brain just slides off it lmao - very different context though and power differential especially, though in ways also very similar)

Do you have a preference over who’s who at all? If yes, then what are they?

Like I said above, I prefer bottom Paul in almost any pairing (apart from perhaps Paul/George?? and like idk Paul/Jane but even then...), but that's just personal preference, not based on much (though I could argue it...), and for John/Paul esp it changes both within a current dynamic and over time. One of the whole attractions of that pairing to me is that aspect, that they're relatively 'equal' in that and in most other respects, or at least they are in an ideal world and sort of aspire to be but that doesn't always work out...

Is there a kink you have to fight back including in every fic?

Hahaha oh god. This fandom has (re)awakened a hell of a lot of kinks that I kind of knew I had but had never written myself because I'd never found an appropriate outlet for them. So that's why I've just been sort of HEY GUYS HERE'S THE WORST THING I'VE EVER WRITTEN, AGAIN :D - so idk about any one kink, but... yeah, I do think that I cannot ever just write smut, it has to have some stupid emotional aspect to it, especially at the end. idk. That's what I like to read tbh so I try to write it too, and most of the time I cannot help myself, it just ends up with a devastating last line that ruins the rest of it, thank you, brain!! It's like an anti-kink tbh.

Otherwise: dirty talk. I am OBSESSED.

When do you feel comfortable adding a smut scene in your fic, if it matters to you at all?

idk. Some (most) of them are literally pwp and the smut is the point, and I haven't tended to do longer fics anyway so I haven't had this problem of feeling 'comfortable' to add a scene yet... But generally I do not plan at all, I just let the Muse flow, so if one happens then that's that :)

#fanfic #writing #meme

7 notes · View notes

loveafterthefact · 5 years ago

Text

Love After the Fact Chapter 8: More Bite than Previously Anticipated

Keith wants his blade back, and he’s not taking ‘no’ for an answer!

First Previous Next

Keith’s asleep. Looking at him, he really does look small. Tiny, even. He’s not just short for a Galra, he’s slender, too. Not bulky like the rest of his kind.

It’s kind of adorable.

He just looks so little and soft, dark hair all over the place, all curled up beneath the blankets. A bumblemoth bobs into the room from their open garden, hovering by the Galra’s fluffy ear, and it twitches and flaps at the irritation.

Lance bites back a smile.

He’s only just returned the bumblemoth to the garden, it’s little claws pinching at the cage of his fingers, when Keith sits up. The Galra looks around himself with alarm, not at all familiar with the room yet. It’s only been a movement.

He looks wild. Frightened.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Lance gently sits down on the edge of the bed by Keith’s feet. “It’s alright. It’s just our room. You’re safe-” Lance cuts himself off. That wasn’t true at all.

Keith relaxes, but the tired look in his eyes says that he doesn’t believe Lance’s words either. Their gazes part. Silence drags.

“Lance?”

“Yes?”

“They took my blade. The seamsmaster took my blade and gave it to a guard.”

“We’ll go and retrieve it today,” Lance says immediately.

“We will?” Keith seems surprised, though Lance can’t fathom why.

“Yes. You are a prince now. You order the guards, not the other way around. It’s time they learned that.” Lance heads to the wardrobe and retrieves a set of clothes for Keith, who doesn’t bother to hide his distaste. “I know you don’t like them. We can speak to the seamsmaster today about something special for you.”

“I don’t want to order anyone around... Or be a bother.” Keith pulls his knees up to his chest. Lance walks over and sits back on the bed, still in his nightclothes. He forgot that Keith’s only been a noble for a phoeb.

“Hey, all I meant was that they’re not allowed to treat you like that. All of this is hard enough for you without the guards making it even harder. And you’re not a bother, Keith. Not in the slightest. Actually, Father says your eerily low-maintenance.” Relief floods Keith’s face. “Why are you worried about being a bother?”

“Oh.” Keith’s ears pin back, slightly at an angle. Not angry. Anxious. “It’s nothing. I just had a few health problems as a small kit... It can be burdensome.”

Lance takes a deep breath. “Alright, so if you’re not well, I expect you to tell me so I can make sure you’re taken care of. You mustn’t just grit your teeth and bear it, understand? Your well-being is not burdensome, Keith.”

“How do you-”

“Please. You’re obviously the type to ignore your well-being.” Lance pushes the clothes toward Keith, grinning. “Now come on, we need to get dressed and eat breakfast before I go yelling at the guards. It’s hard work.”

The moment Keith’s back turns, Lance’s smile slips. He can’t help it. What other secrets is Keith hiding? He's so reserved and mysterious. He's been here for almost a movement now, and Lance still knows practically nothing about him.

Breakfast is its usual, lifeless affair, with Alfor and Coran discussing important, peace-keeping diplomacy that Lance isn't welcome to weigh in on and a silent spouse who eats his food and sits still to wait until Lance is finished. The only interaction he gets is a scolding from his father when he brings out his datapad to thank Hunk for the food and tell him that Keith seems to have liked his.

Lance can't wait to do it all again in a few vargas. He almost wishes he could hold court again this quintant as an excuse to skip lunch.

Almost.

Later, he stands before Commander Iverson, arms folded. “I’d like my blade back, please,” Keith murmurs, hands clasped behind his back, the picture of civility and respect. Just like Adam showed him. The commander frowns.

“A luxite blade is not something that should be in the hands of one such as yourself-”

“How about in the hands of a prince, Commander Iverson?” Lance makes no attempt to hide his irritation. His left ear twitches.

The captain scoffs. “This kit is hardly a-”

“ Prince Yorak is my spouse . Do I need to give you a lesson on how royal marriages work, or are you willing to hand it over?”

“I am most certainly not willing.” The commander is seething. His first instinct, Lance knows, is to shield him from his own spouse. It's a difficult situation to navigate. He understands Iverson's position, but the commander's behavior is entirely unacceptable.

Lance’s left ear ticks again. He hates it. “I’ll have you stripped of your post. One word to the king and you’ll spend the rest of your life destitute, I promise you. You and your men are to respect Prince Yorak, and defend him with your life. Such is the pledge you took when my family gave you this station.”

“He is the enemy,” the commander hisses.

Keith snaps, lunges forward, grabs the commander by his cuirass, pulls him down to eye level. The guards flanking their leader don’t move. They know better. “See, that’s where you’re wrong. I am not your enemy. I am your charge. The Crown’s most precious treasure. I will provide us with the next king, your heir to the throne. Your duty is to ensure that I live long enough to do so. Now hand over my blade and relearn your place, before I teach you myself.”

The commander wordlessly pulls out a small dagger, offering it to the prince handle first. Keith takes it, slips it into one of the folds of his clothes, regains his composure. “Thank you.”

Keith releases Commander Iverson, who stumbles back with a nasty glare. Keith passively holds out his hand. Lance takes it, letting Keith lead him away.

Keith sighs. It’s not even lunch time and already he’s tired. His head is spinning.

Lance’s head is spinning too, staring wide-eyed at his spouse. Where the quiznak had that come from? Keith must be getting more comfortable here if he feels safe enough to pick fights with the Crown Guard. He never thought he’d see the gruff old commander soil himself, but apparently being lifted from the floor by a Galra that's a dash shorter than himself will do the trick.

“Forgive me. I did not mean to lose my patience. His behavior does not seem appropriate.” Formal, in the presence of the servants and guards.

“It is not.” Lance has no defense for the commander. “It will be dealt with. Well done, though. He should respect you from now on.”

Keith smiles, a little proud of himself. Apparently being a prince means occasionally terrorizing people. He can do that much. “Why doesn’t he respect you?”

“Because I have ensured it.”

Keith notices the hard edge to Lance jaw, chooses not to make any more comments. It must be part of his performance. Instead, he elects to distract the Altean with the first thing that comes to mind. It seems like the spousal thing to do. “So... the bugs in the garden. They’re called buzzlemoths?”

Lance chuckles. “ Bumblemoths. Why?”

“I like them. They’re nice. They don’t bite. At least, not a lot.”

“Things on Daibazaal bite?”

“Most things on Daibazaal bite. Especially the children.” Keith grins, revealing those sharp teeth. Lance laughs. It occurs to Keith that he prefers Lance this way, without the kohl and the paints and all the gold. He still has a few piercings, and a single cuff with chains, but he appears less like an object and more like a person.

A relatively friendly person at that.

“I’m not surprised. Biting seems to be something all small creatures do. Altean infants go through a strictly carnivorous phase, and lose three sets of teeth.”

“Only three?”

Lance stops, turns to his spouse in bafflement. “What do you mean only ?!”

“Try six.”

“SIX?!”

#LoveAftertheFact #LAtF #klance #galtean au #altean lance #galra keith #adashi #altean adam #galra shiro #voltron legendary defender #vld

18 notes · View notes

televinita · 5 years ago

Text

Little Women (2019): Thoughts

REQUIRED READING: the prequel post about my background going in to this film.

SNAPSHOT VERSION: Though I have some casting qualms, and may adjust my opinions after I reread the book, mostly I think this is everything my heart has needed since the magic of the ‘94 movie was broken for me. My heart is very full.

FULL VERSION: Twice as long as the prequel post (a.k.a. 1800 words), starts below.

I did not expect LW to be the first Unexpected Comeback Fandom of 2020 (or a comeback fandom ever, really), but here I am, having spent every day since I saw this film mooning about this story and looking up different editions and supplemental books in the library catalog, so I'd better process how I feel about it while the memories are relatively fresh.

Most of my thoughts are on casting rather than specific scenes because like I said, I can’t remember the book super well, so I’d like to get my movie memories to fade so that the book can surprise me. Also because I think I will have a more in-depth post about them when I watch the film a 2nd time, whether that’s in theaters or on DVD. But here’s what I’ve got for now.

ON CASTING

In no particular order --

* Emma Watson is very pretty but it is so hard to take her seriously as an actress. She's just Emma Watson, Famous For Being In Harry Potter and Getting Hired For Other Big Name Projects. I feel like she's so consciously acting all the time. She made a not-terrible Meg, I guess? No worse than she made a Belle. But it was roughly as hilarious watching her try to be a mother now as it was watching her try to be a mother in the last Harry Potter movie. To the point that I just kept hearing the "Damn! I'm SO maternal!" song playing as her theme in the background at all times. * I realized 6 days prior to seeing the movie that Florence Pugh is recognizable because she's in Midsommar and honestly, that just ruined everything for me. I didn't even see that film, I just know it's gross and I would hate it and while she is not tainted forever like the 50 Shades actors, she is definitely too tainted for Little Women. Also I could not stop thinking about how I associate Amy with being very dainty and prim and Florence, while perfectly lovely, is not. * Laura Dern was kind of strangely modern and kooky for Marmee, but I love her as an actress and I loved that she was just like "HELLO STRANGE NEIGHBOR BOY, COME BE MY FIFTH CHILD." So I was OK with that. * ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH BOB ODENKIRK. What kind of anachronistic garbage. What crack were you on, because it was obviously not the good stuff. "Did I stumble into an SNL parody??" I wondered more than once. * Meryl Streep as Aunt March was AMAZING. Ten Oscars. * Beth consistently looked younger than Amy, so that was weird. She was okay but kind of childlike, and failed to make Beth my favorite like she is in the book. * JO! Saoirse Ronan is by far my favorite actress in this set, but I didn't think she was right for Jo going in. "Jo's not a redhead!" I said, indignantly stamping my foot, because my childhood-era love for this novel reigns defensively supreme like for no other classic besides Black Beauty. (another 1994 classic they should remake soon, even though I love that version. Just saying.)

But damned if she did not COMPLETELY embody every essence of Jo there is and make Jo my favorite character this time. Truly, nobody except Meryl Streep so thoroughly matched my expectations for their character. Ten Oscars, part II. Or at least the one she is actually nominated for. If Jo loses to ScarJo I will riot. * John was nice. I feel like he was exactly what he was supposed to be, which is to say kind of plain and milquetoast but perfect for Meg. I don't actually remember him existing in the novel, so that was an interesting game of "how important is this guy?" until suddenly Meg was getting married and I realized I did, in fact, have a very dim memory of a wedding from the book. I think I will like their romance more the second time around, though. * Mr. Laurence was VERY EXCELLENT. IDK why I know the actor, even after looking him up, but I liked him in this role a lot. His grandfatherly quasi-adoption of Beth was so sweet. * As for Professor Bhaer...UGH. I hated him on sight and my brain wouldn't even let me recognize who he was for like 3 scenes, I was just like, "who is this random boarding lodger and why are we focusing on that weirdo." I mean, he's objectively handsome? But he did not do it for me. He lacked the gravitas I expect from this character and his thick accent scraped my ears and drove me insane (update from the future: his accent is also driving me insane in the book, where I have peeked in at a few chapters as incentive to reread. whyyyyyyy). * LAURIE: maybe it's been too long since I read the book, but never could I ever have imagined I'd want to use the term "fuckboy" to describe Laurie. It wasn't even Ski Chalet's face so much as it was that in all present-day scenes (post-rejection), he is such an insufferable, melodramatic, pouting trash heap that I didn't want him to marry any of them at that point. (Also YOU STILL DIDN'T MAKE ME UNDERSTAND WHY HE GOES FOR AMY, so good job.**) However, I took especial delight in paying attention to all the cuddly platonic friend cuddling he heaped on Jo growing up, in focus or in the background, and I loved it...kind of a lot? The ship radar made noise. That noise is getting louder by the day, smoothing away his faults. He may have permanently taken up residence in my mind's eye as the new Laurie. ...this is the worst. Make it cease. (**update from the future, I am peeking at the book and it looks like it's a lot easier to understand both in text and when you're inside Laurie's head. He is still clearly sulking his way through Europe, but in a way it's easier to recover from. Also, I don’t have time to unpack this but as I finish the edits on this post I started 5 days ago, I’m starting to think I could not only ship Laurie/Amy, but believe in it from the start.) ACTUAL PLOT AND FILM QUALITY

+ The shifting between past and present was very jarring right off the bat, but after that I think it worked.

+ I loved the attic play rehearsals so much

+ I am so glad Jo’s shorn hair is both fleeting and as hideous as it should look, and not Pixie Cut Chic (Childhood Me wailed at that part reading the book)

+ I remember hardly anything about the book's Part II / Good Wives, so basically everything in their adult lives was news to me. Amy and Aunt March go to Europe? Jo goes to live by herself in New York? Meg marries a relative pauper? Any of this could be true to the book or just made up as an alternate idea to explore, and I would be none the wiser. That made it more fun. (NOBODY SPOIL ME ON WHAT'S TRUE)

+ It did not occur to me until just now that the part where Jo publishes her version of Little Women is not in the book (right?), but that was beautifully done.

+ The house interiors were breathtaking. It's not like I don't regularly watch period pieces, but this time there was just something about seeing an old house, like the ones I am often in for estate sales, decorated the way I always imagine seeing when I enter those homes, that kind of made me tear up. + The outside shots were pretty too + Jo made me cry with her I'm so LONELY! speech, rude. (I went into this movie thinking I was 100% on board to finally read Alcott’s sequels for their Jo/Professor content, and now I'm like 'ah damn it is gonna be the season for the Jo/Laurie AU novel, isn't it.')

+ A strike against Beth and/or the actress playing her: I did not cry about her death (in my defense I was busy crying about Jo's pain).

+ I did NOT remember precisely how Laurie & Amy got married, so even though I knew it happened eventually, I felt that sucker punch to the gut reveal just about as hard as Jo did. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR WIFE.

+ My mom said she’d heard this movie was lauded as being super feminist, which rarely goes well for me, but I thought it felt like really authentic "married women literally were not allowed to control their own income and it sucked" 19th century feminism, and not someone using their 21st century voice to claim this is how people would have REALLY talked if The Patriarchy Of Historical Record hadn't silenced/suppressed it. Nothing rankled me. I’m very confused by the people who think it says Jo is queer and/or didn’t end up with the Professor, but if that’s what you see then I guess it’s a win/win situation for all of us. + LOVED the closing montage. + Basically, at all times that I wasn't annoyed by the casting, I was feeling the same magic I did while reading the book and/or while watching the 1994 movie as a child. I can’t think of any parts I really hated.

IN CONCLUSION

Part of me is honestly kind of sad I didn't reread the book before watching this movie, because even though I usually prefer to go movie first and then get the Expanded Edition that is the book, in this case I wish I'd taken my last chance to properly visualize everything in my head on my own -- since I’ve mostly forgotten the ‘94 film -- before the new movie washed it away forever. This is one of the rare times I would have liked to hope and guess what would be shown vs. cut, and be able to anticipate the thrill of seeing the page come to life.

However, seeing it was the impetus I needed to finally take my childhood copy off the shelf (and thank heavens I have it, because the library request is backed up 3 or 4 deep for every copy), and it took all of 5 minutes to get instantly sucked into chapter 1 and feel such rapturous joy and familiarity that I consciously cut myself off and decided I am going to journal out my feelings after each chapter on this reread. So that’s something!

#the biggest surprise is that maybe Timothee Chalomet is not the worst thing ever #and I frankly do not know what to do with this loss of identity #little women #little women spiral

2 notes · View notes

jayykesley · 6 years ago

Note

8-10, 16-22 for ALL OF YOUR OCS FROM "THE APPRENTICES" (really the main ones: Carson, Lorelei, Derick, Rosalyn, Roswell, and a bonus OC of your choice)

8. What clothing style?

Lorelei: Very girly, so she wearsprimarily dresses and skirts and high heels. Kind of a sparkly-girly-librariantype of look? Pockets added to everything obviously, as well as tulle or lacetrim, just to make any outfit have that little extra SomethingTM.

Carson: His style is likecombination lumberjack-slash-fifties(?) look, like he’s got the rugged jeansand the white t-shirt with the short sleeves rolled up just below the shouldersand the red plaid overshirt. He prefers casual, loose-fitting clothes. Allabout comfort and mobility and wearing things until they fall apart.

Derick: Because of his childhood andthe culture he grew up in, Derick’s style consists mainly of dress pants andfitted button-ups w/ vests/suspenders/ties/etc. Not always particularlycomfortable, but he feels sorely underdressed and out-of-place in anythingless.

Rosalyn: If a piece of clothing fitsher larger frame, and can hide stains for at least a little while, Rosalyn willwear it. Mostly wears sleeveless shirts, or cuts the sleeves off, because shehas broad shoulders and large arms that don’t always fit comfortably in theshirts she finds. Has like one (1) pair of loose cargo pants that she’s beenwearing for literal years and refuses to get rid of. Neutral colors mostly soshe doesn’t have to think about matching stuff.

Roswell: I imagine him wearingregular old jeans, but with either comfy sweaters or fun graphic tees that hegets his hands on. He’s not picky about clothing, but he does like to have funso his shirts are always brightly colored with reds or yellows or purples.

Valentina/Violet (I can’t land on aname for her for some reason): Similar to Lorelei, in that she’s very girly,but definitely not “librarian chic”. Vibrant pinks, glitter, maybe some furoccasionally if she’s going out? Crop tops are a definite staple in her closet.

9. What is their favourite foodafter a break-up?

Lorelei: Her favorite comfort food,especially after getting her heart broken, would probably be frozen yogurt or agiant cinnamon bun glazed in icing. Something sweet and filling that you mightnot have on a daily basis.

Carson: Soft pretzels nachos, pasta,just something that is absolutely soggy in melted cheese.

Derick: Not so much food, but wineor some other alcoholic drink that would make him forget how bad he feels abouthimself

Rosalyn: Red meat, which is what sheeats a lot of to begin with, but just way way more stuff those badfeelings away

Roswell: Candy. He’d just shoveldown handfuls of jolly ranchers and licorice, ignoring how gross he feels veryquickly after doing this

V: Chocolate covered strawberriesand caramel apples and every sweet thing she shared with the boy because shedoesn’t need him to enjoy things she doesn’t miss him she never evencared that much about him to begin with--

10. Their favourite thing to doafter a break-up?

Lorelei/V: Watch bad movies togetherand have a girls night: popcorn, ice cream, probably watch Legally Blonde. Oneis always right there ready to comfort the other when it seems like thingsmight go sorrow.

Carson: He throws himself into a newproject, whether that’s working on Bonnie, his car, or crafting something outof wood. Carson gets attached and wears his heart on his sleeve, so no matterhow short the relationship was, he’s probably hurting quite a lot. When hefeels like he’s got a handle on the situation, then he can talk to Lorelei andwork on moving on.

Derick: Just gets real depressed andsleeps/watches TV a lot. Leaves the house/showers/cleans even less than usual.Eventually he’ll get out of his funk, but it might take him a while.

Rosalyn: Probably trains to workthrough her emotions; first she’s angry because she feels like that personwasted her time, then she feels embarrassed for letting herself be hopeful likethat, then angry again... it’s a vicious cycle, and one she’s working on.

Roswell: Cry and talk to literallyanyone who will listen. Obviously everybody is more than happy to be hisshoulder to cry on, but Roswell bounces back about as quickly as he fell forthe girl in the first place.

16. Their favourite comfort food?

Same as the break-up food, comfort food is really what I was thinking ofwhen I answered that question

17. What’s a food they hate?

Lorelei: Probably something likemeat loaf? It’s cheap, somewhat filling, and easy to make so it’s often whather mother used to make when she was a child. It wasn’t bad necessarily, buthaving multiple times a week for years has made her nauseous at the thought ofit

Carson: There really isn’t a lotCarson won’t eat. Originally Victor wasn’t a very good chef, so Carson wasresigned to eating either burnt/undercooked meals or microwave dinners for hischildhood. Maybe something like liver he might refuse.

Derick: He’ll eat meat, but he won’teat meat that still resembles the animal when it was alive -- fish that isn’tfried or in some way no longer resembles fish, he won’t eat. Doesn’t eatchicken legs or anything like that either.

Rosalyn: Bread. Specifically, whitebread. No one can figure out why, but Rosalyn absolutely positively will notconsume plain white bread. Everyone thinks its some big thing, but she swearsup and down it’s just that it grosses her out.

Roswell: Again, eats nearlyeverything. Maybe won’t eat oatmeal, because that’s just sloppy slime andRoswell can’t do that

V: Microwave meals that taste likemicrowave meals (which obvi is 99% of them). She swears she can taste theplastic film in the food.

18. Their music taste?

Lorelei/V: Love radio-pop. Ifeel like they’d both be huge fans of people like Ariana Grande and Ed Sheeranand people like that

Carson: He’s a sucker for 80′s and90′s rock and pop; Survivor, Billy Joel, Britney Spears, all that good stuff

Derick: Not really picky aboutmusic? Usually just listens to whatevers on. Probably a secret Emo Kid

Rosalyn: Really prefers classicalinstrumental music. She doesn’t zone out often, but instrumental music helpsher relax the few times she feels she’s allowed to.

Roswell: Would probably be reallyinto disco and/or Disney soundtracks?? Also a huge musical nerd, so Broadwaysoundtracks are his JAM

19.Is there a story behind their name/meaning?

Lorelei: I thought that “Lorelei”was a very pretty name and that it was a shame more characters weren’t calledthat. “Bullock” was a placeholder until I settled on her “real” last name, butBullock stuck so

Carson: Intended to remind me thathe would resemble Carswell Thorne in personality/serve as a place holder aswell (he’s changed a bit from his original design). “Davies” is the last nameof one of the original inspirations for the character Peter Pan, and was toserve as a reminder that Carson is a more relaxed, care-free person

Derick: No special meaning, justcame to me moments after I decided he was birthed from my mind-hole and thename has stuck ever since.

Rosalyn: Saw that picture that Ialways use as my face-claim for her, instantly decided she was either a“Rosalyn” or a “Rosalind”. I went with Rosalyn because, i dunno i just thoughtit fit her better.

Roswell: Originally he was going tobe called “Brandon” or something similar, but I came across the name “Roswell”and thought “oh yeah thatd be funny, Rosalyn and Roswell” and, well, as withevery character, the name just stuck

Violet/Valentina: Originally“Violet”, but I’ve since done some work on her character and feel that“Valentina” fits her better, but my mind is still latched onto “Violet”, soI’ve been calling her V for the time being.

20.Something they do that seems childish to others?

Lorelei/V: Not childish per se, butpeople might think them immature since they really like fashion and makeup andpretty things

Carson: Sings to himself constantly.

Derick: It might seem childish tosomeone who’s never owned a pet, but oh my gosh the flip-flopping betweenbaby-talking to Ragsy, and having a full-on real conversation with her

Rosalyn: Pinky promises. Not onlydoes she hold promises as Law, but pinky promises are the Highest Law

Roswell: His long run-on sentencesand tendency to speak rapidly in giant chunks. He can come off like an excitedlittle kid, but really he just hasn’t lost his sense of wonder for the world.

21.What is their all-time favourite TV show?

Lorelei: Great British Bake Off.I’ve never personally seen it, but it sounds like something she’d love XD

Carson: How It’s Made

Derick: Painting with Bob Ross

Rosalyn: Ancient Aliens

Roswell: I sat here for ten minutesand i genuinely cannot think of what his favorite show would be, so thanksHobbs XD

V: Catfish

22. What is their all-time favoritemovie?

Lorelei: 2005 Pride and Prejudice

Carson: HSM 2

Derick: All Dogs Go To Heaven/Aristocats

Rosalyn: National Treasure

Roswell: Jungle Book

V: Black Panther (because she’s real into Michael B. Jordan)

Sorry this is late, but I wanted to give real good answers. Thanks!

5 notes · View notes

bagoftophats · 4 years ago

Text

Beside my bed is a chest of draws and on it is a neat little box. In it I keep all the bits and bobs I might carry in a day, keys, pens, loose change etc. Everyone has something similar but mine also contains a small leather pouch, it's black, work worn and creased with age. It contains my lock picks, They're probably 40 years old now and showing their age much like their owner. They get little use now, my dexterity has diminished with age and my limited ability compromised with time. I haven't yet the heart to retire them to the toolbox though, it would be like burying a small part of me. I don't recall my primary reason for buying them, my motivation for it but they do appeal to that tinkering side of me as well as my 'back door' nature. Of the need to see what I am not supposed too, to see what others would prefer I didn't, the sneaky side of me. I read somewhere once that after you pick your first lock you are hooked for life as there's no other feeling like it, and it's true. When that hasp popped up on that Abus it was like opening a door on a whole different world and having that door lock itself behind you. I am not exaggerating when I say that it changes a persons perspective, our worlds are governed and bounded by locks through which only the selected are allowed where all the keys are in the hands of others. It is such a normal state of being that seldom do we even think about it let alone notice it. Then suddenly that tension wrench, that thin slither of spring steel that has been under your thumb for an age and stubbornly refusing to budge, gives, and the barrel rotates slowly and smoothly to a stop, the lock jumps and the hasp springs out and in that split second the ground shifts, the perspective shifts and those walls suddenly gain a fragility, a permeability that can never be reversed. It is an amazing feeling that is lost on those that have not experienced it and its difficult to explain by anybody who has. And then the hunt was on, old locks, padlocks, cabinets and cash tins. Anything and everything I felt my picks could handle. And all of it on the sly, all done quietly and surreptitiously. No one was allowed to know. I don't recall a specific reason for this secrecy other than it was the same for most of my interests. Although I probably had considered some nefarious use for this developing skill that the world in general would not have approved of. And in hindsight the latter was probably the more accurate. I once picked all the locks on my Fathers Land Rover. I would like to claim that it was down to my exceptional skill but it was more a testament to how shockingly insecure the locks were. A debility that was not just restricted to our own as I was able to prove on numerous occasions afterwards. I also cracked my Fathers filing cabinet. A big green metal thing that stood in the corner of his office and to a young and highly imaginative young mind obviously promised to contain all the richest treasures of the universe. It didn't as it turned out, It was all rather boring really. Padlocks I got pretty good at but the dial combination ones I was a little hit and miss on. The cable type I could crack in seconds then I would take great delight in locking them back up in different locations or resetting the combinations entirely, depending on how mischievous I was feeling. I started making my own bump keys, and skeleton keys for warded locks which sounds more arcane than it actually is. And stuffing my pick pouch with slithers of coke can for use as shims. I hoarded old keys and locks and eventually repurposed an old toolbox to keep it all in. I still have it in my shed now. It is stuffed to the gills and weighs a tonne but I don't have the heart to get rid of it. I even bought a pair of Canadian Police handcuffs once, just to test my skills on but I think they deserve a page of their own. I never graduated to the more complex locks, the Yale's and their like, though it wasn't for the want of trying. It was the spool and mushroom pins that ultimately defeated me. I think I just lacked the manual dexterity. I knew how to do them but I just couldn't. I never lost interest though and now understand way more than I could ever do in practice. One time in secondary school, I'm uncertain of precisely what year, I was passing one of the offices. A little pokey place of no discernible purpose beside one of the quieter entrances. The door had been left open and on the desk had sat a set of keys. Now being the mischievous little magpie that I was, I nicked them. I hadn't known what they were for but it had been an opportunity that couldn't be squandered. Later examination had revealed a half dozen warded keys, all of which had been modified in some manner. Skeletonised, after a fashion. I think that instead of teachers having huge bunches of keys to carry they had developed the habit of cutting down one or two to fit many and in doing so, unwittingly they had given me access to most of the school. But how was I to utilize this sudden and unexpected gift? What nefarious deeds could a teenage boy possibly get up to with such power at his fingertips? Well, in hindsight, not a great deal. I would lock the the doors of empty classrooms, or unlock them, never often enough to draw attention but enough to be bloody annoying. I explored cupboards and store rooms, cleaning rooms. And found with a little wiggling that I could also undo the narrow doors in the corridor's and toilets that concealed the buildings pipe work. This discovery led to what was probably the crowning glory of the whole escapade, the 'South Pacific' incident. Which I think is too great a diversion for this reminiscence so I will have to go into greater depth elsewhere. In retrospect I don't think I took a great deal, certainly far less than the opportunities presented to me. I think it was just the fact that I could do it, that I could go where I was not allowed to, to be where I shouldn't have been. I hated school and pretty much everything that walked or crawled in it. It was Hell to me. But this seemed to wrest back some of that power and self worth it had stripped from me. I think I gained more satisfaction from this than from anything I stole. Though admittedly I didn't have to buy any stationary for years after. At the same time I knew what I was doing was 'wrong', that the locked doors were locked for a reason. That certain places had to be off limits. That boundaries had to be set. I understood their purpose but they were 'their' boundaries, not mine, I was not acceptable in their world as they were not welcome in mine. On the face of it I would adhere to them to maintain that acceptable front, like a gay man posing as straight and without the least qualms about crossing that boundary when the opportunity arose. I suppose also, subconsciously the the lock picking and the keys became another physical way of exploring their world, another tool to try and understand them, like taking a screwdriver to an old clock or a spanner to a knackered engine. A way of peeling off the outer shell and rummaging through the gubbings to see how it all worked. If I could understand them, if I knew more about them I could form myself into a more acceptable shape to fit into that world. And I did want to fit in, I desperately wanted to be like them. But it was years before I realized that it was sheer folly, just fantasy thinking. I could no more be like 'them' than I could be a chair, a table or a garden wall so aberrant was my make up to theirs's. I went through an enormous degree of torment before I came to terms with that. Before I accepted what I was. My interest in locks and picks never went away, even after I finished school and it became a segment of my life just as reading or writing had done, it became a tool in my life with more tales than I have time to tell here.

0 notes

thoughtfulpaperback · 6 years ago

Text

Television and White People problems I cant relate to

I might make people mad, but I am just gonna say it. A good half the time I cannot relate to the problems and motivations of white people on TV. But I am going to list some scenarios that I cannot relate to

1. Unaffectionate Parents/parents that arent around much/parents who are strict = bad parents who ruin thier children

Listen purposefully withholding affection from your child as a manipulation tactic does equal bad parent. Never allowing your child to make meaningful connections outside of the home as a way to control them = abusive parent. But like shows like Gilmore Girls have the main character and side characters acting as if she has been horribly scarred by thier parents not letting them listen to rock or run around and dirtying an expensive dress. Or they excuse or justify a characters bad behavior because thier parents aren't around (usually these are rich characters).

I am a working class Latina and I always felt this was total BS. My grandparents were not affectionate people. There were no hugs or I love yous after the age of 5. Both worked long days and I was constantly left in charge of my siblings. I wasnt allowed to wear makeup until after I was 15 (I didnt start wearing it until I was 18) and when I did my grandpa constantly made comments like "what do you have on you face?" "Only ugly women have to wear makeup!" "If God wanted your nails to change color every month he would have made it so they could without that junk (nail polish)!". I wasnt allowed to listen to rap music. If my grandma bought me an outfit I wasnt allowed to do anything to get it dirty

I wasnt allowed to stay the night at a friends house until I was in high school and even then my grandparents preferred people stayed the night at our house versus me going to someone elses.

Guess what...I am fine. I never was rebellious. I knew they loved me. I knew they cared. I wasnt a teen parent. I can tell people I love them. I am affectionate with people I am close to. I graduated college. I was a good, friendly, well adjusted kid. All of my Latina friends were too. But like every other white "bad kid" or "jerk" is that way because of thier parents supposed lack of interest.

Listen I get the validity of loneliness or even anger at feeling as if your parents are not interested in you. I am just saying it is something that is not in my experience, so I have a hard time relating to it even though it is a very common troupe.

2. Cutting out family members/estranged family.

Ok so my Latina self has never, ever understood this movie plotline. Like I have extended family who may not even be related to me that are big idiots, which everyone recognizes, but I still see them at all the family events because it is rude not to invite them when they are family. Like we do not stand physically abusive people in my family. But that is what you have to be in order to be cut off from us. Stupid? A Mooch? Toxic? Prejudiced? A very annoying drunk? All those things are okay warrant toleration because you are family. And again this is extended family. In movies or shows where the child has cut off the parents from thier life or that make snide remarks or talk back to them...OMG not only can I not relate but I cannot even process.

Again I am not saying that people should have to tolerate any behavior which causes them anxiety or makes them uncomfortable. But like the idea of ever cutting out my grandparents or even my mother completely out of my life is unimaginable. Right not agree with the things they do or say, and I may not make an effort to reach out to my mom, but I will never purposefully avoid or talk bad about them to any one. And believe me my mom is pretty toxic but I would never hinder her ability to reach me if she needs me. I will no longer go out of my way to please her, but moving away having children and not letting her be part of thier lives. Nope not doing it.

Most of my latino friends live in multi-generational homes (grandparent, great-parents, parents, self and thier children). So just the idea that your grandparents or parents live in a different home than you was hard enough to wrap my mind around while watching TV. The idea that you moved across the country to get away from your family unimaginable.

Again not condemning any one who does that just explaining why minded just cant relate.

3. 18=Adult and going crazy

I am 25 (I think, I forget) years old. I am a virgin, I didnt have a sip of alcohol until I was 23 or right when I turned 24 (again I forget). I've never had a boyfriend. I have only been on like 3 dates with 1 person. I still ask my grandparents permission to go places, I tell them my plans and who I am with. I do this unprompted. My grandparents dont demand that I do it. I just do.

Dont get the wrong idea, I have had lots of fun. I lived on the dorms as a college freshman, I made lots of friends and was in multiple clubs, played intramural sports, worked as an activities coordinator at the college and hung out with friends. I've gone to concerts, I've traveled to multiple countries and studied abroad. I vacation with friends.

Like I could never relate to teenagers or college kids on television as a teen and I still can't as an adult. Dont get me wrong freshman year of college I met the Wild kids all testing thier boundaries and exploring thier sexuality now that they were out of the house.

But that just wasnt me. I didnt feel the need to. I didnt want to drink (my house wasnt anti alcohol or anything like that). I didnt want to experience getting drunk or trying drugs. I didnt have the need or urge to do anything sexual with anyone. It wasnt because I was ashamed of my body, saving myself for marriage, or emotionally scarred by my grandparents about the subject. I just didnt want to. My grandma always tells people when they ask her how she raised me to be such a good kid (although thinking on it I should resent being called a kid at age 25) that my brother and just came out perfect or the closest thing to perfect. Like I am not saying that to claim that I am, but just to give y'all the idea of how non wild I am.

18 was a wierd age for me. I was exploring mostly myself as an individual seperate from my family. Figuring out what I liked because when you live with so many people you kind of blend interests. Sometimes I dont know if I actually like an activities that I frequently do or if I frequently do it because one of my siblings likes it.

Making friends outside of family. I always had friends growing up but my closest friends were my siblings and cousins. College was the beginning of meeting people from different backgrounds and becoming friends based on common interests rather than out of convenience. A great transition to my next unrelateable troupe.

3. Peer Pressure and letting bullies get away with it.

So like for the longest time, TV made it seem like it was hard to stand up to bullies, like it was Big deal and hard decision to stand up for someone else. Like to an extent some more recent shows still do it (Glee for one). And I just cant relate.

I never cared what other kids thought of me. I was always secure in who I was and happy with myself. While I wanted to please my family, i never felt pressured to please anyone else to to follow the mass consensus on what is cool or not. I also could never stand a bully.

In elementary school I flipped over my shared desk when my desk mate called the new girl (who was on medications that made her fall asleep during class a re***d) and told him that if him and the entire class that if they have a problem with her then they can fight me and I am obviously not kidding. (My very first outburst and threat of violence). In the 7th grade a couple of girls were harassing a girl in the bathroom for telling thier secrets. Even though it wasnt any of my business and these girls were known for actually fighting other girls, I still told them that they were being stupid and to leave her alone. Which earned me a shove against the wall and a "you want to fight me?". To which I stupidly responded "I am not afraid of you" which was a huge lie.

My childhood friends who werent related to me were usually the people who nobody wanted to be friends with. Mostly kids werent considered "able" or were too "annoying". I hated the idea of people being shunned because they werent "able" or because they didnt have a concept of volume control, personal space, or the ability to read a room) or because we were related. I straight up yelled at a guy in the middle school lunch room because he was saying that I was so nice for hanging out with the special kids especialky Bob (not his real name) because everyone hated him for not being able to shut up or go away. Bob has asperger's syndrome or was adhd I honestly dont remember. He had an assigned aid and would get too close to people and once he started talking he wouldnt stop so classes were hard for him and making friends was hard to.

In 9th grade band class I stood up and called out the drum section for laughing and calling the drum majors (a Male and a female) a f*g, ugly crack baby, and other slurs while they were conducting and then told the substitute that I refused to continue playing until they were sent to the principles and dealt with accordingly. I then walked out and put my instrument away very loudly in front of the band and pulled a chair up behind the drum majors so I could glare the entire class down while they played.

In 10th grade a made a huge scene when a guy thought he'd be cute by saying that the only reason my friends and i were doing well in Spanish class was because we were "sucking mr.------ balls". I stood up and shredded into him about how that accusation was basically calling mr.----- a pedophile and that it showed how much of a sexist pig he was that he has to basically accuse successful ladies of having to used sex to be successful because that is easier for his ego than admitting his laziness inattentiveness, and bad attitude are the reason he is failing a class about his first Language.

I also yelled at a girl in the middle of the school grounds for saying there should be a holocaust for gay people.

Apparently I am the queen of making a scene. I list these things not a bragging thing, but because they werent hard for me. Most of were just reactive. I never understood why TV made doing the right thing seem like it was so hard and that you were being a freaking martyr.

I was never bullied. I knew that kids didnt like me but no one every messed with me or harrassed me the way they did other people. Doing the right thing did not make my life harder. Standing up for people wasnt some herculean task that took like two days of thinking and emotional preparation. The "majority" of people allowing mean spirited people to harrassed others never swayed me to let it go. Indifference was never an option in my mind.

So I was always really frustrated by characters who didnt automatically help a person who was being harrased. It is my least favorite TV or movie plotline. And again I can't relate.

Again this isnt to bash on anyone or to suggest that making a scene or putting yourself at risk are the only ways of helping others and standing up for others.

#personal #televison troupes

0 notes

kpopcollectionandstuff · 8 years ago

Photo

I moved to Korea because of my mother's job and my father stayed at America because he didn't think that it was worth to change his job because of us.

My name is Lee Joe and I have a mixed blood, I don't mind that but it was a reason why I always was different. Ether popular or ended up as a loner. I know. I experienced different positions yet I always wished to be average.

Why? I don't like the attention focused on me, people clinging on me ether for fame or to feel more superior.

But what I learned was that I can not run away from my fate. Even at the day when I transferred I dyed my hair dark to fit in the crowd but I assume that didn't help since few of my mother's friends mentioned the aura I have.

I stood in front of the class as a new student who joined them in the middle of the year. Mostly new students came at the beginning of the year or after first semester and here I was in the middle of it and had more than a half yet less than a year left to get to know and fit in with students.

Everyone were chattering and probably trying to decide how to accept me and to what should they turn me into but I didn't care of them.

My eyes landed on the blonde head. It was obviously dyed and definitely eye-catching so I had no excuse why I stared at the guy first. My eyes landed down to see the face and I got a bit surprised as I saw his eyes pierced straight into mine. I didn't look away and stared as well while the teacher introduced me in front of the class.

"Do you have anything you want to add, Lee Joe?" The female teacher spoke with a friendly smile but I barely heard her as I felt weird connection with the other guy. That guy who had surprisingly fierce orbs focused on me, but was it weird that I found them madly familiar?

"Yes" My brain managed to load the information of what happened around me while the other part of my head was occupied with meaningless thoughts "I would prefer everyone to call me Joe for short, it is nice to meet you" I bowed and stepped towards the seat the teacher pointed to. It was besides the window and behind the challenging student.

Somehow I didn't mind. This year seemed to be interesting. I'm Lee Joe soon to be seventeen meanwhile my all classmates were eighteen or about to turn. I know. The principal was concerned about it and told me but it just seemed that I started school year earlier that is it. As long no one asks. No one will get to know.

The bell of school appeared to be similar to the one in America. I just fixed my fake glasses. Damn it I almost forgot I wore them.

Few girls with school uniforms approached me and chatted me up with silly questions that I found unnecessary to answer so I just smiled slightly and looked out of the window. That was too much of attention. I hate to attract the attention so soon it makes the other guys glare at me and that is troublesome.

Even now the light haired guy had those eyes focused on me, the kind that I can already imagine showing up in my nightmares.

That boy caught my attention the most and made my eyes follow him out. The way his hands were hidden in his pockets of black student uniform pants and the uniform jacket looked like some damn cape behind him.

"Who is he?" I turned my head slightly at the girls meanwhile my eyes followed the classmate out until he turned in the hall and disappeared.

"He? You shouldn't talk with him if he looks in bad mood, he is violent guy" short and quite chubby girl spoke, my eyes then landed at her since her words sounded sincere and worth my time. "once a girl approached him when he seemed to be gloomy. He knocked her down on the floor immediately and left like it was nothing... it was scary to see"

"They say he is involved in a gang. They call him Colorful Tiger because he changes his hair according to his mood" the more model like girl spoke and I just laughed.

"Isn't he afraid to get bald?" I laughed carelessly too damn carelessly because it was the same time the colorful tiger came back to the classroom. He had very dark atmosphere around him which made me curious.

Just in case anyone is wondering.

I am not gay. Not straight ether. I have no interests at all, what I do in life is observe other people and simply survive. Quite nice thinking for sixteen year old guy huh. But I don't give much thought. I'm young, free and single, I am free to be as carefree as much as I am young and anyway next month I'm seventeen.

Classes passed in weird pace. New classmates, new surroundings it all seemed weird to me but that was okay it was better to discover new place than stay at the same one for years.

The next day came and I already managed to get involved into something weird. The nice chubby female I started to get along was surrounded by weird guys so I just stood in front in protective position. "What the fuck guys" I cursed in English but that was understandable phrase for everyone.

Some guy glared at me while the other laughed at my hero like behaviour but little did they know that I'm a guy who isn't just a pushover like my looks say. Dark hair, glasses and everyone thinks I can be pushed around but that was just one of the ideas I wanted them to get. I still managed to find people to talk with me and if days go by like yesterday I might just become like any normal student. Or so I thought.

"Why do big guys like you pick on a girl?" I laughed at them by accident which obviously angered them more..

"I just bumped on them a-and accidentally dropped my sandwich with jam on his shoe..." the girl explained, she was ridiculously scared of the three guys in front and it only made me laugh inside. Well then again... I was new one. I knew nothing.

"lick it off" the guy in front pointed at his shoe which had some jam on it. He was a total jerk and you know he even looked like one. He was overly confident and always walked with his chin up as if looking down at others made him the most important person in school.

The messy haired guy didn't expect as he laughed at that moment but with all my strength I punched straight in his cheek to shut that mouth off and it knocked him down so fast.

Everyone were taken aback even the girl named Yeol Wol. "let's go" I took her hand and dragged her along to the classroom. That was logical reaction at such situation. Better run if you see that you can't survive so I didn't understand why she still stood there.

"Thank you" the short female bowed slightly and I could tell that I made at least one friend in my classroom that wouldn't turn her back at the worst moment. Even the scarey cat like her, at least once and shortly she would be there for me. That was the price of my powerful punch.

That day barely anyone could believe the small talks that already roamed around the school. The new guy Lee Joe knocked out Seunghyun. That jerk as well walked with the bruised cheek as the proof of what I did.

People began to gather around more with questions if that was truth. I told nothing but Yeol Wol answered the questions instead of me. I neither denied nor approve. It became nothing but rumours and talks.

Seunghyun as well didn't tell anyone the truth because we both knew. His pride was too strong to tell everyone what happened actually.

The Colorful tiger kept glaring at me as ever, it felt like he was plotting something against me and I was probably right.

On third day when I spent my lunch break time on rooftop with a girl named Yeol Wol who had a cute bob cut that fit her round cheeks and a tall girl who was her best friend named Ji Yeon her hair was quite different in the whole classroom it was caramel brow, strong and shining long locks of hair.

I only had an apple in my pocked to have for lunch while the girls took out their lunchboxes. I would lie if I didn't drool all over them just by looking but I wasn't the type to ask from others.

I'm not the best cook to make ones myself and my mother is barely home at all. The talks about divorcing are increasing and we become short on money so I can't afford going to shop everyday just to buy meaningless food.

"That guy in front is glaring at me everytime our eyes meet" I whined and took a bite of a green and sour apple just my taste how I like it.

"Oh..." the short girl sighed and ate her omelet with rice "it is probably because of that incident yesterday" even though she brought up the time I punched someone I didn't understand what she meant yet.

"Seunghyun and others seem to be his underlings at school even though we do not see them together often" Ji Yeon added more useful information.

"Ouch" I bit my lower lip by accident and it bled slightly. At that moment I had awfully bad feeling. Because the eyes I could recognise while looking at my bad vibe giving classmate were murderous. Shivers ran trough my spine. I knew I had to be on my guard.

We just laughed it off with girls but the uncomfortable feeling haven't left my side at that time. Even when I passed Seunghyun and his pals I could hear them smearing as if they knew something I didn't.

The classes finished and I was on my way home. And all I can say about that day is that I was awfully right about the feelings I received.

I was pulled in the dark alley corner by some guy and smashed against the wall. I didn't see what happened behind me but I recognised the feeling of someone keeping his eyes on me. "the tiger huh" I chuckled while ignoring the situation, good for me because few guys sounded surprised that I knew of the other's appearance without even seeing his face.

To be continued.

#bad boys #ljoe #lee byunghun #byunghun #lee joe #l.joe #suga #min yoongi #yoongi #min suga #suga fanfic #ljoe fanfic #asianfanfics #fanfiction cover #kpop fanfic #yoongi fanfic

2 notes · View notes

erstwhile25 · 8 years ago

Text

On The Subject of Truly Awful Jokes.

((The following is a lead up to why Aedos is in trouble with the Holy See. Pro tip: Never let Kail do the talking))

It had been a good night, one of those rare refuges from the world outside and any sorrow it could muster to chill the spirit. Kail wasn’t fond of the cold, anyone who had spent more than a day in his company could have guessed as much. He preferred the sun beating down, the sand between the toes of bare feet, and just a hint of salt in the air. However he had to admit, that when the freezing winds blew outside with a force to turn marrow to ice, the warmth of the fire inside was simply that much more enjoyable.

Enjoy it they did. Brave, Hyrtwyda, Aedos, and himself had a days worth of chill to chase from their shivering bones. They laughed at the events of the tourney, when Brave and Hyrtwyda had finally faced each other with their summoned carbuncles. They guffawed when Aedos related to them the events of the previous week’s expedition. Through it all they attempted to play cards, but each game seemed to break down when it was realized that Kail was finding new ways to cheat. Every time he was caught cheating, he was made to pay for more drinks, and the more drunk he became, the more he cheated. It was a vicious cycle.

With the coin Kail had won at the day’s festivities (or rather that Brave had won, and he had capitalized on) there was little pause in the drink that flowed to the table. There was no desperation to their foray into libation, as you saw with many fighters and explorers. That almost frantic need to be drunk that caused more trouble than it was worth wasn’t for them. Rather they eased into it, as if drunk was a wife waiting for them at the end of the day. Noses and cheeks turned slightly more red, despite their seats being right next to the fireplace, and their voices slowly and steadily grew louder and louder.

For the most past the crowd at the Forgotten Knight accepted this with good grace, some were even swept up by it, adding to the growing din. It was after all a fantastic night to be drunk. There was however one table at which frosty silence reigned. Kail didn’t know any of the Elezen seated there, but he knew the type. There had been no end of changes in Ishgard of late, recent events had shifted the very foundations of the city. Where once had been a nation ruled by the iron law of the Church of Halone, now stood a republic governed by houses of the people. As with any power struggle, those who were given power were content, and those from who it was wrested were not. While the multitude of the church had been more or less docile in stepping down from the seat of power, not all did it with a smile.

The Inquisition had been the branch hit hardest by the change, before now their purpose had been clear cut, their power absolute, and when there was very little argument as to what constituted a heretic in the faith of Halone. Kail could only wonder what it was like to chisel such lines in the stone, only to see them shift like so much sand. By the symbols of Halone stitched into their cuffs, and the frosty silence between them that matched the outside chill, he suspected the table of Elezen knew from first hand experience.

It wasn’t long before one, a tall drink of water even by their standards with coal black hair and features sharp enough to cut yourself on, rose to his feet and sauntered over to their table. He offered a stiff bob of a bow to Aedos and then spoke in a rum rich voice that cut through the din with the ease of one used to public speaking. “Madam Valleritignon?”

Aedos looked up mid-sip, swallowing in a fit of giggles that was passing around the table, she shushed the others before straightening out her tunic and comporting herself. “May I help you ser…?” “Costos…I am a friend of your sister, and I simply wished to introduce myself and meet the woman she speaks highly of.” Kail didn’t know much about Aedo’s home life, but there was something about that statement that unbalanced the woman. She was struggling to reach for words, her composure showing cracks. Costos spoke on “She spoke at length on the impeccable nature of your character..” his eyes swept with barely hidden disapproval at the other faces at the table “and of the sterling character of those you surround yourself with.”

Brave started to rise, the look on her face spoke clear as to what purpose. Hyrtwyda’s hand found her shoulder halfway out her seat though, and a slight shake of the Roe’s head dissuaded her from anything rash. Before anyone could look his way or suggest any sort of sense, Kail was out of his seat, and alighted upon their table with a slight drunken sway. Costos immediately took a few frantic steps back, his hand going to a cross-hilted sword on his belt. No attack came however, instead the grey haired pirate grinned at the collection of eyes now upon them. The entire inn was silent, waiting for violence to ensue.

“Ye ser…are obviously a fella in need oh a lark.” Kail grunted and swayed dangerously towards the edge of his perch, strangely enough his feet wove deftly in between the cups, cards, and piles of coin there, spilling neither. Recovering he gave a low bow and swept an arm out that seemed to draw in the onlookers even closer. “Fortunately for ye…I’ve jokes aplenty!”

Both Hyrtwyda and Brave attempted to signal Kail as to the poor footing of his current path, with warnings that ranged from the covert cough and glance, to the overt hand signals of impending doom. He barreled on however, clearing his throat, if these lads were going to hate him, he was going to give them a damn good reason.

“There once were three dragon siblins that lived in a mountain above a valley. Eldest Brother Kyrwyn, Middle Sister Saffyrn, and Least Brother Boswyk, shared their cavernous home in relative peace, with the occasional bout of boredom only every century or so. They amused themselves during these centuries, by watching the folk that lived below in the valley, much as children watch ants building a mound. They enjoyed watching the people scurry too and fro, workin in their fields, bakin their bread, and buildin their houses, their town shifting back and forth like a river in the immortal eyes of the dragon brood. Sometimes the three dragons would even disguise themselves and walk amongst the people of the village, Least Brother Boswyk in particular was fond of stealing pies from window sills while lookin fer all the world like a fair haired little cherub. It was in fact, during one of these outings that he saw something both strange and unsettling. He heard a great bell tollin in the middle of the town from a great stone building, suddenly every townsperson young, old, small, and tall, dropped what they were doing and headed fer the immense stone vault.

They lined up in the wooden seats and packed in full. When the last of the available spaces were finally filled, they waited in silence till a tall man with a long beard and a great staff went to the front, and began to talk. He spoke of virtue and he spoke of guilt, of the great tall mountains, and the wee fishes. He told them how men could stand tall if but to trust in the skies, and he spoke of men’s cruelty to those he loved. Most concernedly t'Least Brother Boswyk, he told of how stealing pies was wrong, and only the most cruel punishments awaited thieves.

Now Least Brother Boswyk had never heard of stealin afore. He’d thought those pies were fer anyone who came along, but it scared him something frightful t'think what those folks would do t'him iffin they found out. So’s he ran as fast his little legs could carry him back t'the cavern oh his siblings, wailing all the way there.

Well Eldest Brother Kyrwyn heard his brother snuffling and asked him what was wrong, so’s he told him. Only it didn’t come out quite right cause of all of Least Brother Boswyk’s blubberin. Well cause he loved his little brother, Eldest Brother Kyrwyn decided to go down and see what all the fuss was about, disguisin himself as a strappin young man taller than most. He waited till the folk gathered in the great stone house, and went on in to have a talk with the old man therein.

He returned later that day, with a strange look on his face, and his siblins asked him what was wrong. ‘I asked the old man how one might atone for crimes committed. He said that crimes were forgiven unto those who picked up a sword and fought in their family’s name. I have no wish to fight though, for surely pies are not worth spilling blood.’

To this Middle Sister Saffryn heartily agreed, and suggested that perhaps Eldest Brother Kyrwyn hadn’t asked in the right manner. She said she would go back t'town the next time they gathered and ask in his stead. So eventually the day came, and the bells rung, and Middle Sister Saffryn went t'town disguised as a beautiful young willowy lass, dressed in sunshine and wreathed in flowers.

Well it wasn’t too long before she too came back looking crestfallen, and a little shame faced. Her brothers asked her what was wrong, to which Middle Sister Saffryn replied 'I asked the old man how one might avoid violence, and he told me I should wear more clothes, and not put wicked thoughts in the minds of young men. Am I so horrible?’

Her brothers assured her that she was not. Twas at this time that Least Brother Boswyk had decided his family had gone through enough on his behalf, and iffin they could not reason peace with the old man in the stone vault, then they would buy it. He loaded a satchel with some of the gold they hoarded in the back, enough to buy hundreds of pies, and six bakeries on top of that. Dragging the satchel behind him, he went to go reason with the old man in the vault.

Twas later that day that he returned, with no satchel, but more or less in one piece. His siblings ran out to greet him, happy their brother was whole. They asked him if all was well, if all was forgiven. 'Well I don’t know about that..’ said Least Brother Boswyk 'but my pockets are empty and my ass sure is sore’”

Kail finished with his arms spread wide, as if he’d just unraveled the mysteries of life and the universe. Aedos snapped her mouth shut, for it had been wide open, and started to look like she wanted to crawl into her tankard to escape the moment of silence that followed the joke finishing. Brave and Hyrtwyda both shook in their chairs, and kept their hands clamped on their mouths. If looks could kill, Costa’s would have been loading the trebuchet. It started small and in the back, the snickering. It caught though, like a small fire that realized it wasn’t destined to be smothered. Soon it was full throated laughter, to which Hyrtwyda, Kail, Brave, and finally Aedos joined in. The other tables of the inn began howling and clapping their tankards on the table, asking for another round. Well…all except the table with Halone’s devout, they simply stared on, clutching their glasses, while the room laughed as one.

#balmung #roleplaying #final fantasy xiv #aedos valleritignon #Brave horizon #Hyrtwyda #Kail Gerrad #writing #written word

10 notes · View notes

jack-redacted · 5 years ago

Text

“Welcome to ________ University, home of the Flying Horses! My name is Katie! Here’s your welcome brochure, and the freshman orientation is just that way, past the flagpole.”

Katie Yoon smiled and handed out another glossy paper pamphlet. The photos were staged and classy, the font professional and academic. She had helped the yearbook team to set up the design, and was pleased with the result. To her right, her friend and yearmate “Smike” Burne-Jones was also greeting new students and handing out pamphlets, albeit a bit less enthusiastically. Not surprising, perhaps. Smike prefered to be a bit selective about how he used his time. Katie found service projects fun and almost crucial to her energy-Smike wasn’t into volunteering, even if just for a campus welcoming team. Oh well. He was here now, and doing a great job.

“Heya, I’m Smike. Welcome to _____ University, home of the Flying Horses- Yeah, bit of a weird mascot but there you go. The orientation? Just past the flagpole, look for the crowd of Ray-Bans. Alright, see you later, darling.”

Katie grimaced at him.

“Darling?” He shrugged apologetically.

“There’s a fine line between friendly, flirty and patronizing. Sue me.” He responded apathetically.

Katie smiled and repositioned her glasses. Smike handed out another brochure, then turned to get another stack from the table behind them. She looked around campus, admiring the beautiful gardens, trees and landscaping, thankful for such a cool, bright day after the intense summer heat. There was something about _____ that felt so much like home.

“Hello? Hi, is this the orientation site, for the freshmen?”

Katie turned quickly as the voice caught her out of her reverie. A thin girl with long black hair, pale skin and triple piercings in one ear stood hesitantly. She was simply dressed with natural makeup -and she was gorgeous. Katie was all about embracing all types of beauty, and body positivity. Everyone was beautiful. But this girl- was flawless.

“Uh-Yeah, no yeah, it’s that way, past the flagpole and the goat statue.” She handed a brochure and the girl took it without looking down. She had grey intense eyes, a little wistful maybe.

“Thank you.” Her voice was cultured, not British or anything, just precise and sounded like she had money. Was that a thing? Katie wondered. Could you sound rich?

“No problem. I’m Katie Yoon.” The girl shook her hand, like they were settling a business deal instead of making acquaintances.

“Taylor Lautner. Freshman.”

“ Alright, Taylor. Well, I’m a Sophomore and on the welcome team so if you need anything, just let me or Smike know and we’d be glad to help.”

The girl thanked her again and left, blending in with the crowds of students. Katie nudged Smike. He noticed and leaned in. His Nikola Tesla t-shirt smelled like some sawdusty, boozy cologne. He pointed directions to a confused Senior as he mumbled under his breath.

“Getting tired already, Yoon?” Smike smirked sardonically.

“It was the freshman- you didn’t see her?” Smike shook his head.

“Was she that annoying? I swear, they get worse every year.”

“What? How would you know, you were a freshman last year too! And no, the opposite. She wasn’t your type, but stunning. And polite. And probably rich.”

Smike leaned back, rolled his eyes. “Rich, nice and pretty. Katie, you just described half the girls in this school.” He flicked a ladybug off his arm.

“Half? That’s an optimistic view, Smike.” Katie laughed, and then stopped to point out the dorms for a new student. Smike waited until she was done, then continued.

“Not really. You’re nice, Morgan’s nice, Mallory is nice…. On the inside. Gael’s nice. And most of you are rich and prettyish.”

Katie punched his arm. “Prettyish? Not stunningly gorgeous, or brilliantly lovely?”

Smike pulled away. “Shhhh! Princess Leia might hear you.”

Katie laughed. “Oh, right, can’t have the space princess getting jealous!”

“Exactly!” said Smike, grinning. “I’m so glad you understand.”

They continued their play bickering, helping direct students and handing out shiny paper bulletins in the glorious August sunshine. Both of them were simple and childish souls, and by the time they went to dinner, they’d fully enjoyed both the day and each other’s company. Very few people had the gift of enjoying life as Katie Yoon did.

_________________________________________________________

“Come break some hearts now, tell em how…”

Mallory Williams turned up the music on her scratched and battered iPod as she stalked her way down campus. She stalked because Mallory never did anything, even walking, without an air of boredom, suppressed rage and flair. She wore her burgundy tee like armor, her red hair cut into a Uma Thurman style bob, and her dark jeans and eyes like warning signs. The barely turning fall foliage wasn’t lost on her, neither was the aesthetic perfection of _______University. For her manner, it might as well have been.

“But be advised, No restitution comes tonight…”

The iPod continued to play the same song on repeat. She turned past the fountain and climbed the stairs to the Waverly Scott Building. Her new dorm. The suitcase she dragged after her was just big enough to hold her clothes and the few things she hadn’t already dragged up earlier that day. This was the last trip up those stupid stairs with stupid luggage. A teacher in the lobby nodded to her, but she pretended she hadn’t seen him through her sunglasses. On the second floor she changed the song.

Mallory continued her journey up to the dorm room-the same dorm room that, despite her therapist's advice and her own explicit request, she would be sharing. Whatever. The roommate wouldn't be here 'til Thursday.

She let out a short hiss of frustration as she saw that some idiot had shut the door. Slamming down the suitcase, she wiggled the doorknob with her knee and kicked the door open. She stepped inside, throwing the bags on the floor in the corner and straightening her back with an relieved sigh as a kink in her spine cracked-which is when she realized why the door was closed. The Roommate, inexplicably, was there. Three days early.

It took Mallory a second to understand the fact of the Roommate's presence. Another second passed as Mallory reconfigured her entire mental state-"sudden changes required sudden changes in attitude" as someone once said. She changed her internal posture, her internal attitude. Then she sighed and nodded.

"And you're here early." She made sure to keep the accusatory tone light and crisp, with just an edge of amusement. The Roommate looked a bit put off, but she stepped forward and held out a thin white hand.

"Yes. I was informed you might not be expecting me so early. I trust this won't be too much of a problem for you?"

Wow. Rich princess. Or cultured chic, with an emphasis on cultured. Not only her words, but her inflection were impeccable, like someone who took elocution classes long before ninth grade. Not a British accent, but it wasn't a stretch to imagine it. Her manner was calm. She was holding her ground against Mallory's abrasive attitude. And so polite. It was sad. In another world, they could've been friends.

"Well, you're here now," Mallory reponded, "So I guess I have no choice about whether or not it's a problem."

The roommate's jaw tightened, and she nodded curtly, then glanced down at her hand. She had a cup of greek yogurt in her left hand, and looked down at it with some distaste before carefully throwing it into the wastebasket. She turned to her bag, sitting on the desk by the window. Her black hair swished over her shoulder. Mallory went back to unpacking the various bags and suitcases, and setting up her area. Roommate Rich Girl had taken the left top bunkbed, and the desk by the window. She'd also put down a nice white rug on the cold floor, and a few potted cactii on the window sill, but that was all for decoration. Mallory had already set up a tall floor lamp and the nice white curtains. (Just because she had a b**chy self-portayal didn't mean she couldn't have nice things.) Mallory began pulling her huge comforters and pillows out of one suitcase, piling them onto the futon couch. Roommate turned, and frowned slightly.

"The bottom bunk is available. I left it for you." Again, the cultured tones, but somewhat lacking in affect. For someone with such an expressive body, she had a rather toneless voice.

Mallory turned and flashed a patronizing grin.

"Oh yeah. I did see that. Thank you, but I prefer the futon, if that's not too much of a problem for you, Roommate?"

The Roommate's blue eyes turned to icy steel or whatever. She flipped her hair back and retorted.

"Taylor Lautner. I rather prefer the concept of a couch-for sitting on and studying, and friends, you understand?"

Mallory was relieved. That's what she called the odd awareness that someone was falling for her b**chy outerskin and learning to hate her on sight. Oddly enough, it felt a bit like loneliness or disappointment. At least what she read about those emotions. She ignored this internal self analysis, turning the sheet down and then standing again to face the roommate.

"Well, Sharkboy, I prefer the idea of sleeping where I like in my own dorm. But if it's such a pain for you, I'll turn it back into a couch in the morning and you can do whatever the hell you want with it. Deal?"

Taylor gave her a hand gesture- a hand curtsy? That's what it looked like-and went back to organizing her stuff. Mallory sank back into herself, turned attack mode off, and finished her own unpacking, which was much easier as she planned to leave all her outfits from her suitcase shoved under her bunk.

Once finished, Mallory unpacked a plastic bag full of her infamous pina colada kale chips.(Homemade, of course, at Katie Yoon's house last week.) She sat back on her futon/bed, and pretended to scroll her phone feed. In reality, she observed Taylor.

Her charm wasn't in her clothes, obviously. Black pants and a white peasant top. She was pretty, sure. In an icy, dark haired sort of way. In a quiet, understated way. In a rich, flawless way. She was like baby's breath flowers. Thin, lacy, delicate. But somehow, she had a core of strength, again like a dancer who's worked their body and knows every inch of how it moves, works, walks... Her body was hers and she lived in every inch of it. She stopped finally, observed the room with a vacuous expression while fingering a silver butterfly on a tiny chain. She turned to Mallory, who jumped as she realized she was caught in her scrutiny of the other girl.

"I'm going out now. To see the orientation and talk with friends. Would you care to come along."

She asked with no question. More of a quiet statement that no, of course, Mallory wasn't coming. Her voice was so flat.

"Nah, I'm heading out to meet friends too. I won't be back til around 11, so don't bother waiting up for me," she said with a flippant and sarcastic grin.

Taylor nodded, picked up her sleek black phone and a leather bag and left the room, leaving behind a faint scent of fresh cotton and Chanel No 5 behind her. Mallory exhaled, then picked up her own phone and made a call. If anyone would be willing to listen to her rant about an annoying roommate, it would be her best friend, Katie Yoon.

-------------------------------------Chapter 2-------------------------------------------

"I don't want to go."

Jaejin Kyung blew an exasperated sigh through his lightly clenched, flawlessly white, and perfectly aligned teeth. He glanced down at his watch, his nice Rolex or Holodex or whatever that he'd got after that L.A. shoot. It was such an imperceptible gesture, and so cautious, but a succinct reminder that he still had places to go and needed to be at the airport to get to Milwaukee in three hours. A reminder that he had driven all the way to Nebraska just for her, and she was being ungrateful. It was annoying.

"Kim, we talked about this. It will be a good experience."

Kim doubted it. She seriously doubted it. She looked out of the car window at the huge campus of St. John's Academy. It looked like a modern-day castle, all concrete, steel and brushed with the veneer of erudite learning. It was nice, she admitted to herself, just as she had when she first saw the brochure, and when she first saw the website.

"It's not the experience that's lame... it's just... "

Kim trailed off, looking now in the side mirror at her reflection. Her round face looked like a wheel of cheese, and she had a feeling her pits were leaking sweat already. And it was not warm outside. Nobody else was wearing a kawaii design t-shirt, and everyone who walked past the car looked older and more sophisticated.

She was lame.

Jaejin bit his lip. Kim knew how hard it was for him to deal with her self-pity, and how unreasonable and childish she was being. She just didn't know how to be anything else.

He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. She waited until he composed himself, looking out at the crowd of non-losers milling by. Jaejin turned, his seatbelt cutting into his muscular shoulder.

"Look. Kim. Give it a month, okay? All this work, the applications Mom and I put in- not to mention driving all the way out here. Give. It. One. Month. If you really hate it, and can't cope, then you can... come back home, or try another college, or sit in your room for the rest of your life or whatever. Just. Try. It."

Ouch. That hurt. He was upset. Kim folded her arms, staring out the window, feeling the pressure of her older brother's disappointment. The tug of the college life pulled at her. She wanted more independence. A chance to prove herself as someone with more skills than just marathon snacking and endless Doctor Who trivia.

She was also terrified, and the two emotions were confusing her.

"Well?" Jaejin prompted.

"Okay," Kim said. "But I'm telling people my last name is Walker."

Jaejin was already opening the door. The tension drained, at least from his body. He pulled his sunglasses down over his eyes as he began pulling luggage from the car seats. Several girls and a few guys turned to stare at his lithe, L.A. model body, but Jaejin was oblivious.

"Let them call you kicake. So long as they call you something." He swung a backpack on his shoulder, and she lumbered after him pulling her suitcase. She imagined herself as a chubby Asian Robin behind a cool, suave Batman. The image was not a nice one. They walked along, Jaejin passing grins and greetings to a few people he remembered, mostly teachers and Seniors. It hadn't been too long since he went to St. John's Academy, but he was already a fossil here. Albeit a very cool fossil.

On the first flight of steps up to her dorm, her phone buzzed. She stopped, fishing her phone in its large case out of her sweatpant pockets. Jaejin huffed, dropping the bags on the sixth stair.

"Kim!"

She grimaced.

"Sorry. It's rainMaker."

Jaejin said nothing, but waited for her to check her text. She knew he was annoyed, but they had an unspoken agreement. rainMaker was priority--and off limits for argument ammo. Kim was disappointed, though. Just a smiley face to her "We're here!" text.

"Okay, we can go," she said, stuffing the phone back in into her pocket. They picked up the bags, and dragged them to her dorm. She'd already met her roommate, Melissa, who was Mormon and boring but nice. Kim needed nice, and was glad to know that Melissa was very chill and very much not there at the moment. Good. Kim didn't need an audience for this goodbye.

"Well." Jaejin broke the long silence. "I guess this is, uh... See you later, for now."

Kim didn't quite meet his eyes. He was trying to make up for their arguement earlier, and really, goodbyes were as hard on him as they were on her. He just handled them better. She didn't trust herself to say anything, so she just barreled into him with the most huggy hug she'd ever given. It took him a second, but he hugged her back. They stood there for just a second, then broke apart. He stood awkwardly.

"So... I'm just gonna.."

Kim nodded.

"Yeah, just go before I change my mind."

They laughed weakly. He reminded her to text soon, and that he'd always be there if she needed him, and walked out with the last words of "One Month." She nodded, and waited until she felt his car drive away, down the road, and to the airport to Milwaukee. Kim sat on the bed, just breathing in the atmosphere. She focused on everything around her. The room was quiet, almost too quiet. There were noises coming from the hall-people moving in, and noises from outside-marching bands and cars. There were smells of cleaning supplies and microwave calzones and other people's perfume. There was a faint taste of burnt plastic in the air, and the blanket on her bed felt like a hospital sheet. And her t-shirt felt like home.

Kim started to cry.

She cried like a child, curled up in a caterpillar around her shirt. Silently, her mouth open and her chest heaving. Her throat felt tight and itchy, and her eyes hurt with the effort of squinting them closed. Just a long, wet, snotty, hiccuppy sob session. Kim knew she could stop it, hold back the childish torrent of tears streaming down her stupid fat face, but from experience, she knew she'd feel much better after a good, long cry. So she let it all overwhelm her. New school, no brother, new room, no childhood, and fifty miles away from home. It was a lot.

It took about ten minutes for her to compose herself. She wiped off her tears, blew her nose on a tissue she'd hidden in her pocket for just this occasion, and sat up. The suitcases stood around the room like tiny sentinels. The pinkish beige carpet looked like canned cat food, and Kim held on to that detail to keep herself steady. She got up, began unpacking her things--Then she noticed that her phone had lit up during her sob session, and she hadn't noticed. She tossed the armful of socks (rolled, of course) on the corner of the cat-food carpet, and pounced on her phone.

Three New Messages from rainMaker

rainMaker---how do you like campus kicake

rainMaker---i keep looking around at everybody wondering if i see you but i dont know its you

rainMaker---are you that bald freshman carrying a lifesize yugioh cutout to his dorm

Kim laughed shakily. She considered a moment, then typed a response.

kicake---no and i cant believe you would say that

kicake---i hate yugioh more than you hate mlp

Her phone chimed with a reponse almost instantly. She grinned.

rainMaker---so how do you like st johns? as a sophomore, im required to make sure every freshman adores it as much as i do.

rainMaker---its in the job description

kicake---sure it is. what's the freshman job description?

rainMaker---to be the school mascot of fresheyed innocence what do you think of the school be serious kicake

Kim stopped to consider a moment. On the one hand, she hated it here. On the other hand, she'd had a good cry and had the chance to look at the opportunity with fresh eyed innocence. It was time to grow up, she decided. Time for new Kim Walker Kyung to explode from her heart like the parasite thing in Alien. So she paused and then sent rainMaker a text.

kicake---once i get over the cat vomit colored carpet, i think i'll like it here.

rainMaker---send me pics.

kicake---of the carpet?

rainMaker---of the carpet. its not that bad.

Kim sent a picture of her hand pointing at the carpet. It wasn't the clearest photo, but the carpet, in all its feline excrement glory was visible plainly. She sent it off with the caption "its that bad." rainMaker sent back a vomiting emoji. Kim responded with a dead face emoji.

rainMaker---nice socks

kicake---how did you even notice them?

rainMaker---xD now i know im looking for a girl who wears lilo and stitch socks

kicake--->:|

rainMaker---hey im kidding. you said you dont wanna meet up yet, and i respect that

rainMaker---and i respect your lilo and stitch socks

kicake---thanks

kicake---so how are you settling in

It took rainMaker a few minutes to text back, so Kim finished unpacking her suitcase and made her bed. Then she sat back on the pillows and scrolled through fanblrg until her phone chimed with his latest message.

rainMaker---yeah its nice i semi know my roomate and im a cool sophomore

rainMaker---im just glad to be back here its probably the best

rainMaker---im moving furniture around so i cant text back right away

Kim started to reply when the door swung open and Melissa pranced in, blond ponytail swinging. She was the kind of person who pranced, and she was a smiling sunshine person. Kim didn't mind that, though. Melissa would probably be out with friends or studying at the library most of the time, and she wasn't pushy. Right now, Melissa rumaged through her purse, grabbing keys, lip balm, sunglasses, then the whole purse and turned to Kim.

"Hey, Kim, me and my group are heading out to grab a quick bite, wanna come? Joshua is paying, so you don't have to worry. He's that lawyer's son, so he's got money."

Melissa laughed to show she was teasing. She and Joshua weren't dating, but they would be. They'd get married and have happy temple children with big teeth. Kim actually considered the option, which was a testament to how much she liked Melissa. Not from any personal merits, but just because she was safe. Kim Kyung of a few hours ago would have said no. Kim Walker surprised herself.

"Sure. I'm gonna get changed first-"

Melissa cut her off.

"Oh you look fine. Marley is going in her pyjamas. It's settle in day, nobody cares."

Kim shrugged and smiled. Her psychedelic Alice in Wonderland shirt and grey-green sweatpants with the scruffed pink hightops... sure. Kim Walker had just enough Kim Kyung not to care about how schleppy she looked. Or rather, to care, but know that a different outfit probably wouldn't do much. Plus, nobody dresses up for a pity date, right?

"Alrighty... we taking your car?"

Melissa beamed. She loved her new car, a big blue SUV with plenty of room for friends, shopping bags, coolers, and on vacations, her two golder retrievers, Norman and Frisco. She led the way out, her pink stilletos cutting tiny eye holes in the ugly carpet. Kim trekked along behind her, typing a text to rainMaker on the way out.

kicake---don't worry about it. im heading out so same.

rainMaker---okay. ttyl then?

kicake---yeah, whenever.

Kim Kyung, professional loser and sad blob had entered the dorm room of Pelosi Hall, and Kim Walker, still pathetic but willing to go hang out with her roommate's friends, was leaving. Kim felt that there had been a good exchange. The process of peeling back layers of pathetic and blobiness would be a long one, but who knew? It could be worth it in the end. She smiled as she stepped into the sunshine, and grinned as she turned up the radio in Melissa's car. Kanye West was right. It was a new dawn, and a new day. It was a new Kim.

------------------------------------------------------Chapter 3---------------------------------------------

"It sounds like you're being a bit harsh on her, Mal."

Katie balanced her lunch tray on one knee as she used her foot to open the little fridge, then bent down to grab a milk. She loved everything she came across, except criminals, and she really loved milk. Behind her, her friend Mallory Williams was grabbing a huge lemonade and a large thing of fries. She scowled at Katie's comment.

"I mean, come on. Poor little rich girl, amirite?" Mallory argued. The line moved forward and Katie handed the money to the register. She could've used her student ID, but she prefered to keep track of the money she spent. Katie juggled the food as Mallory handed her tray to her with no ceremony. Mallory liked to do things with both hands, and expected Katie to carry things for her whenever she needed. It was an aristocratic type of entitlement, with just enough absentmindedness of manner to keep it from being rude. It was bordeline rude, but Katie knew Mallory. She didn't mind carrying things once in a while. It was somewhat a requisite of being Mallory's friend- accepting Mallory.

"Look, she's a freshman. She's probably not used to al lthis, and to being away from home, so give her some slack. She's just trying to mark herself a little territory."

Mallory took the tray back as they headed back to their table where Smike was already digging into a pita bread wrap with his roommate Jonah. A match made in heaven, those two. Equally pleasant, optimistic people who had no trouble getting along on their first day, and sitting together for lunch every day.

Mallory scoffed "Yeah, sure, whatever. I just hope she transfers. God. I don't like her."

Katie had heard enough to guess that Mallory was mistaken about that, but didn't want to say it out loud. It just wasn't that often that Mallory met someone who wasn't cowed by her... unpleasant demeanor or pathological unkindness. Her and Smike had known Mallory since senior year of high school, and had only penetrated her defences due to their relentless ability to see the best in people and treat everyone with the penultimate of generosity. This roommate was special. Perhaps she would serve as a good foil for Mallory...

There she was. The freshman girl that she'd seen earlier, with Smike. She was paying at the end of the line with a kind, quiet smile. Her tall, thin frame was almost lost in the crowd of insipid and loud children pretending to be adults while relying on trust funds and allowances and crisp dollar bills from the rich relatives. The freshman stood out. She was timid, maybe, but soft. She was meek because she wanted to be, not because anyone made her meek.

0 notes

abrokenpromise3 · 6 years ago

Text

Love hard

By me

September 2014

This writing is inspired and blended by true stories, where the place is not revealed, rather let the readers to choose the settings. All the characters however are fictitious and the storyline has been massively edited to suit the story as a published one. The style of language and grammatical errors are upon apology since the writer isn’t a native speaker of English, merely using the language to enhance his or her writing in English. The writer tries to make the piece of his or her work as real as possible hence all vulgar and foul languages are ineluctable. Heheh. Happy reading.

Warning:

This writing has explicit contents. Kindly read with your own preference. (=

p/s: This is like, my first writing for a complete story in my whole life. Sorry, it doesn’t have many values and far from being artistic.

************************************************

Feelings? Love? What it means now without you.

Ben’s POV

‘I love you with the deepest of my hates of you.’

She texted me that. I chuckled on how pathetic she was now. I wondered how people only could appreciate someone they claimed they loved only after he or she had gone, and I knew this statement was very cliché. Yes it was cliché, yet only those who were under that kind of circumstances understood what it meant and felt the pain when they were lonely, indulged with loneliness, alone at the end of the day, even there would never be a single, slight bruise of it. Fool.

She would never change, I said to myself. How could that girl be, because, as far as I cared to concern, just yesterday, or this morning she seemed to be burnt with spirit for a better her in her pleading texts. Yet?

I typed on my iPhone screen,

‘Then it doesn’t mean anything to me.’

I didn’t need to wait long enough to hear another ring from her text. I didn’t think I should go on with this kind of conversation, she was too tiring and irritating, yet I loved her, perhaps. I just didn’t show it recently, because I knew, the more I showed and showered her with my care, the often she would tear my heart apart with her crude and rotten words and immature cries. She was not a person I guessed.

I intended to ignore it, and another ring with vibrate came. Luckily it wasn’t from her this time. Sara. She was another girl I met almost a year ago. She was nice, quite a pretty girl I could say, with two deep dimples on both of her fair cheeks, such a stalker I could describe myself huh, very delicate in the outside, seemed more like a refined girl next door. Soft spoken and mostly, polite with my mom, and dad as well. She was my neighbour. She went to the same high school as I was. Yup, I went to the public school, kind of boring with some faces of kids I had seen since kindergarten, my stupid friends though. Since she helped me with my cut one day at school, Sara and I always hung out together, stick to each other like glued at school, with some other friends of mine. They were different with her, I mean, the characters and everything but she seemed like she didn’t mind at all. We, the guys instead became politer and charmer when she was around, unlike our real selves, loud and vulgar. Well Bob was the head of student council so, we kind of having his backup, on almost every bad things we did. Heh.

‘Are you coming tonight? (=’

She sent me a message with an emoticon. Even over the phone she wanted to smile?

‘Yup, sure. Who prepares all the meals?’

I purposely tried to tease, or more accurate, to test her.

‘Haha my mother of course. I was just helping her..’

Of course, you would never admit right. She was different with my girlfriend. Totally opposite. If she liked white, my girl liked black very much; for sure she wasn’t the punk type of individual, merely preference. If Sara cried until her cheeks beautifully puffed when she bumped into a spider and bothered to help it out of some sort of container or glass if it got stuck, Maira, my girlfriend would scream her throat out until it sored tomorrow morning and stepped on it without a dew-drop size of mercy. Yet, people say, love was blind. Or was I under some spell she put into my drink when we went out dating?!

Maira, such a lovely name for a lovely figure of her. Came to know her when I went to boarding school at the age of 13. Orientation was like hell. We barely made it to shower. Unpleasant smells all around. Yet I was lucky to gain attention from seniors so I wouldn’t be so tortured like the rest, with some other few boys I just met, yet we laughed at the back of the dorm’s building like we had known each other for years. Maybe it was because of my character, I admit, I was kind of loud, sometimes, or always. Not the bad kind of loud though.

We were forced to make a line according to some sort of matter, when my eyes first fall on her plain beauty face. She was in front of me. She suddenly turned her figure to face me, and asked a question that revealed the limitation of her mental absorption of memories. She asked me my name that already known to every single person in the hall. Yup, I always got pumped for being late with some other stupid kids so it was kind of infamous, yet better than nothing huh. That didn’t stop me from feeling fast paces of thumping inside of my chest. Her eyes were beautiful even without a single make up. With a shaking voice, I said

‘Ben, and you are..?’

‘Maira.’

And she smiled, and I was like, oh no, I guessed it wasn’t because of her eyes, but her smile. No other smiles can defeat the sweetness of hers, I promise, not even until today.

‘Maira like a full name?’

‘Am..’

Our conversation was interrupted by facilitators giving instruction to us. The rest of the day, my eyes just could not be taken off of her. She just sat there without a friend. She was a lonely girl. No, no it wasn’t time to pounce like other guy would do. Hell no Ben, she was just, too fragile and I felt so protective over her all of the sudden. Fool, I was just like 13 that time.

‘Bennn!!’

The shout of my mom from downstairs shaved away my thoughts.

‘Whattt!??’

I replied with the same intonation as hers from my room. My door was a bit open. A crack shot that she would hear. Waiting another lines from her, yet quite, I closed the lid of my Mac, threw it aside, let it landed on soft duvet and got up. Dragging my legs with the laziest determination, I went down the stairs with only pyjama and, shirtless.

Sara’s POV

‘Bennn!!’

His mother shouted from in front of me. I stunned as my family were all never shouted at each other but I didn’t show. She seemed dressed. I did invite her but she stated that she had gotten some work to do, I didn’t expect work like outside.

‘Whattt!??’

I heard a reply, a male voice which obviously was Ben’s. I formed an awkward smile and my eyes trailed her when she went up the stairs, probably fetching her son. I texted Ben that I wanted to come over but he didn’t reply so I just grabbed my car key and drove here, even it just took less than a minute, walking would probably hours, oh I was just exaggerating. We live in the same housing area accept for his house was bigger than mine, obviously. Even though his parents had divorced, his mother alone could afford a good living for him and this spacious three storey terrace house, which looked more like an attached line of bungalows to me, proved it. As far as I know about him after almost a year of friendship, his mother was an independent woman that had a very good career to be proud of, physiotherapist that worked with government, a very experienced one. She was too beautiful too for her age. Yet if compared with his dad, he seemed richer but I wasn’t sure myself of what kind of company he owned. Ben rarely talked about him. He lived with his mother and his younger sister lived with their dad. Seemed like an obvious broken family.

‘Arghhh mom…’

I heard but only the silhouettes could be seen from half of the stairs.

‘Sara’s here. Hey, where’s your shirt? Put one on now!’

I heard his mother nagging him. It was so funny, he was like a kid when he was with his mother. I could imagine his pout right now.

‘Mom… it was just Sara, no one else..’

And now he was probably making his puppy face and patting his mother’s shoulder. They were more like friends to me.

His mother just ignored him and went up, base of the shadows I saw.

‘And oh Benjamin, anything happen to my car during my absence, you are fully responsible for it. Understood honey.? Aunt Hanna is coming any minute. I don’t want her to see you naked you see.’

She added and I only heard his chuckle as a reply. Absence? Perhaps outstation? Ben didn’t tell me anything though.

His figure came to my view few seconds later.

‘Hey Sara. You, came?’

He raised his eyebrow, looking wondered and grinned. I could feel my cheeks became warm and I knew my blush was showing as I saw him without any t-shirt on. God knows how handsome he was even he was just like 17, the same age as mine. Straight yet sparked hair, kind of messy sometimes, six pads, muscular body, tanned skin, perhaps due to his sport at school, rugby as main and softball as side interest and above all, 5’8 in height. All perfect. Yet, he was too hard to get. He didn’t look at any other girl with his passionate love accept for Maira. He was way too faithful in his relationship. Maira, she was too lucky to get him. Didn’t she know how to appreciate this piece of gold in front of me now? I looked down to his torso, afraid of revealing more of what had been revealed through my eyes, but catching a view of his happy trail, I blushed even more now.

‘I did text you. I want to pick you up. Your car’s still in workshop, isn’t it? Your mother won’t allow you to drive hers right? But, did she just now? Didn’t you read it, my text?’

I blurted out all the train-long questions with faked guts up. Felt a bit clumsy. I tried to look around the house to coo away my mixed feeling, shy and nervous. It was beautiful and spacious, the theme was unmistakeably Victorian. The couch, the wallpapers, the vases, the clock, the big chandelier and what not. He used to say that his mother liked things about British and when I said my mother was planning on continuing her study in London past few days, she seemed so enthusiastic of my story.

‘Oh, I’m sorry. I mustn’t have read it.’

He said with a genuine smile while making his way to the kitchen. I followed him from behind, yet making sure I wasn’t too close so if he made a sudden stop, we would not bump, or.. better that way. Heh.

‘However thank you hon. You know, I can just walk.’

By the way, this birthday party of your brother, shouldn’t it like, be on his birthday? Why it is celebrated early? Any occasion huh?’

He ended his husky voice with a grab of glass from a rack, a Victorian style too. I saw him taking out some sort of juice from the fat fridge and easily closed it back with a slight swing of his muscular arm. I was too busy stalking him that I didn’t notice he was staring back at me, with a confused look and suddenly smirking. Blinking fast few times he said,

‘What are you, checking on me?’

It sounded cocky. I gasped with his statement. Lucky that the kitchen’s lamp was kind of gloomy, or else my blush could nowhere be hidden by now.

‘Heyy, no way man. I wasn’t that into you like your crazy girlfriend okay. Forever never ever no okay.!’

I said firmly even I knew, I was saying a big fat lie. I love you. Love you like forever and ever. And ever it was, I could not tell you.

He laughed his throat out that his Adam’s apple was moving according to the rhythmic pace. His eyes were teary after ending his laugh seconds later.

‘Oh God, you’re just too funny babe’

What’s so funny? He made his way to the kitchen island, along with an endless perverted smile. Leaning against the marble, he poured some orange juice into the glass and showed it to me.

With a little seductive smile I said

‘No thank you.’

He drank it then without any delay, obviously that juice wasn’t intended for me right Ben. Huh.

‘You see, she wasn’t stupid, just, clueless sometimes. Can’t you guys just made up?’

He said after finishing his juice and putting the glass together with the bottle on the island.

Oh he laughed because of Maira. How every small little thing about Maira brought a different happiness to you? It hurt me Ben. Didn’t you see it already?

I forced my lips to form its most plastic smile.

‘We are just fine with each other you know. It’s just, some things are better unfolded.’

He moved his head slightly to the right and his confused good looking face appeared again. No, I didn’t want to answer whatever you had in mind now Ben. I quickly cut him from asking any further question by asking him to get ready.

Few minutes later, when the clock ticked 8.35 pm, he was ready with his styled hair, jeans and tight black shirt, seemed purposely to show off his broad chest. His body smelled very nice, I wondered what kind of exclusive cologne he put on his body because I had never smelled other guys with this scent. Masculine and boyish at the same time. Overall, he looked very simple yet, very gorgeously charming. He put his wallet into his back jeans’ pocket with his phone grabbed firm in his left palm with a little box, wrapped in a rather cute wrapping paper, perhaps Daniel’s present, we stepped out of the house, smiling at each other, ready for my beloved brother’s birthday party.

Ben’s POV.

I was just looking at the kids playing, and running around Sara’s lawn while waiting for her to bring me some drinks. I told her that I could take it by myself but she insisted. She was very feminine and my other friends, mostly guys were weird of how could we claim that we were just good friends with each other when our acts didn’t show it that way. It showed the opposite. I didn’t know how to clarify that. It was just, perhaps because she was too delicate and I was being too careful to make harsh jokes on her, I always chose my words whenever talking to her so it sounded polite, as polite as she treated me. Back to reality, this birthday party was really like a kid’s birthday party with colourful balloons everywhere. And, it suited the occasion where her brother was only like six or seven years old. Looking around to find my friends, perhaps they were bringing some of their brothers or sisters, yet failed and ended up catching up a view of parents chatting. Sara’s parents were nowhere to be found by my eyes too since few minutes ago I reached her house. Maybe they were all inside. Huh, I wasn’t really in the mood of indulged by crowds right now. I just wanted my time alone, or with my friends, hanging out till morning outside, drinking and watching whatever matches there were. I just broke up with my girlfriend dude, yet I still called her my girlfriend.

I texted Bob, asking him where he was when I saw Sara approaching with a glass of green-in-colour drinks in her left hand and a plate of desserts or something in her right hand.

I smiled at her, perhaps my oww look was showing all over my face. I couldn’t help it. She was too nice to me, to everyone. Unlike Maira, and I didn’t know why I kept on comparing these two girls lately. Maira, she wasn’t trashy or what, she was just, her.

Sara replied my smile, put the food and drinks on the table and said that she needed to change.

‘You need to change to what? Aren’t you wearing proper clothes right now?’

I asked her because, it was true. She already looked beautiful with just a shirt and denim.

‘Oh, there were adults all around. My parents would get upset to see me in this you see.’

And yes, that statement was kind of weird and very very old school and conservative. I sent her away with my eyes and accidently looking at the swaying of her tooshie. A river of shivers came cruising my body and rusty mind and my heart suddenly beating quite fast. I looked around again to distract myself from thinking of her that way. As I saw few guys a bit older than my age staring her the same way as I did just now, I clenched my teeth. Feel like kicking their balls. Man.

The desk vibrated, washing away my fling anger. I picked up the phone and drew a pattern to unlock my phone, it was her, again. Couldn’t she just get lost somewhere without her phone already? I wasn’t sure how many texts had I received from her since yesterday, since I broke up with her. Yes, she deserved it, guessed so.

‘Honey, please, I’m really sorry for my childish attitude. I’m sorry. I lov you. Please reply my text ASAP or else..’

‘Why are you being so cruel to me? Do you like her that much? B’cause you hav slept with her right. Did you?!! Sleep with me too then. Only then you know who tastes better you fu*ker!!’

My blood boiled with her mindless accuses. What shits had gotten into that girl huh. She was nice and a very soft spoken girl, very cheerful and funny when we went out together too. Yup crazy sometimes, but not this kind of craziness though. Getting to know her for almost a couple of years, there were so much sides of her. Bipolar much?

What were you up now baby? I was too tired to play all this stupid games you see. And I chose to ignore it, again.

I grabbed my drinks and took few sips to chill myself down before another vibration came from over the table. I knew it was her yet I bother to read it.

‘I will cut my hand off you know! I don’t care. You just don’t love me anymore. What’s the point of me loving myself then right?’

Another text coming.

‘I have a knife with me now.’

A long text with rather a threat instead of apology or coax. Would she do that?! Didn’t want to take a risk of what could happen cause of her crazy and mental sickness, I stood up, pushing the chair backward harshly and rather rushed into the house, looking for Sara. She was nowhere but my eyes caught her parents’ back. I went closer to them and greeted them first before apologizing for I couldn’t stay any longer. I faked an emergency of one of my friends instead of coming out with the statement that my psyco ex wanted to kill off herself right now and I needed to save her. They said their genuine condolence and I hugged Sara’s dad, like he was mine and made my way to home after giving Daniel his birthday present. Since now I didn’t have any vehicle with me, I had to run all the blocks before reaching home, and grabbing my mother’s car key. I knew she would kill me later because I was confirmed, I would drive recklessly but for now, that drama queen, stupid bitch needed to be stopped first.

*************************************************************************************************

Maira’s POV

I cried since yesterday. Yes said it Ben, said I was crazy and all. I was always wrong in your eyes right. Since she came, I had become the abandoned angel, thrown into a pit of fires and being turned into some sort of satanic demon. She was all you see now.

‘Don’t you say any other word to compare us again you fool, you fucker! You don’t love me anymore right? Go to hell with her!’

That was some last few lines I remembered saying to him. He stood there with a very sour and satanic face, like he would kill me anytime, full of hates and it hurt me Ben. I saw he clenched his fists and teeth, so I decided to stop spatting harsh words on his face for a while or I might get first bruises from his fists. I wasn’t ready for a bruised face in class. It would look hideous and disastrous. I didn’t like to be the centre of attention you know. I heard he inhaled harshly before breathing out calmer, like he was soothing his own feeling, which I didn’t care at all. He was the one who was wrong here, who was guilty here, not me. I was the victim.

‘Let’s just break up.’

And with that very cold piercing statement, he went to his car and crashing the door hard before igniting the engine and with impatient, he sped away. He never sounded like that, like all he had in him was just hatred of me, like all sweet things he said all lovely means I made this while meant nothing to him with just a single line of words. My head felt very dizzy all of the sudden and all my energy vaporising out of my soul.

A knock on my door vanished away my thoughts of yesterday’s event. My sister’s housemate, June came into view when I opened the door. I smiled plainly and looked down, trying to hide my puffy eyes, or rather bashed I could say. I didn’t mean to show to anyone how weak I was right now and how I really needed them by myself. No I didn’t, I just couldn’t keep and hide it all, the sorrow in me. I just couldn’t stop myself from crying, not for others’ attention, just him.

‘Stop crying sis.’

She said with a sympathetic look. I just smiled.

‘He is outside. He asked me to tell you to meet him.’

And with that she headed to her room after patting my shoulder. She was a nice person even I barely knew her. She just moved in. I came living here with my sister last year, a year after my mother passed away, and she had to pay double the house rent for both of us since then. My father lived with his new family and my school record turned bad afterwards so my sister invited me to live with her. She already had a job after graduating even it didn’t suite her qualification, at least she got one. I promised to pay her back one day so now I was working really hard on my school, err sometimes, not the same one as Ben went though. We first met at a boarding school, quite far away from here, his original hometown. To be exact, it was near my hometown instead. We met during orientation and I noticed him because he was quite popular among the facilitators and seniors. He said that I used to ask his name and he always teased me for forgetting it. Yes I did forget about the event though. The event that he said had taken away his heart with my smile, my worst smile in the worst week ever. Few weeks later, he confessed that he liked me, yes at 13, he confessed what he felt of me and I was feeling insecure of accepting him. I was not used of being known to most students so I decided to stay away from him. I was very nerdy and geek, all the words you wanted to say back then. Every time I saw him I would run myself away, I didn’t want him to see me in the most pathetic situations, which mostly where I were being left alone by all the class mates, belittled by my own dorm mates and worst, all the subjects seemed so hard that I couldn’t get over than 60% in most subjects accepted for English and looked very stupid. Dude, this is boarding school, they didn’t select you to come out with average marks. I was so depressed and I decided to leave the school and started at a public one back in my hometown. The rest of the story, only known to me after I met him last two years, when I moved here, lucky me.

My new friend, Maria asked me out one day. And since I was still new, I wasn’t hesitate to follow her, why not getting to know a new place, isn’t it. She said that we were going out with another two friends of hers from other school, guys if I didn’t mind. Well I wasn’t like me few years ago, however still sheltered, yet it was fine for me. She seemed nice too, not like some bad people with bleached head and nails who slept around like a slut. Plus, her mother was sending and picking us up and I used to go to her house once so if anything happened, I know where my sister could go to throw tantrum at.

She said that they were waiting for us somewhere in the mall. Reaching a bench occupied with two guys, which one of them obviously looked charming for the eyes of 16 year old girl, I stuttered, because he, apart the fact that he was dazzlingly good looking, he looked familiar too. And, he seemed stuttered as well.

Both of them stood up, and I could not help but noticed that the good looking guy kept looking at me with a grin, a very meaningful grin until both of us were being introduced by Maria.

‘Hi I’m Benjamin. Just, Ben.’

He said with his husky manly voice.

He smiled very cheerfully I could say and I blushed as he grabbed my hand for a shake. His brush was soft yet gripping. What sport he played, I wondered that time because he seemed maturer than his age, our age with his physical body and what not. Like 20 or 20.

All day we were just talking, laughing, story-telling, and did stuffs like watching movie and eating big fat calories from fast food restaurant and small stalls. Yet I was not really into talking, merely standing there as a cheerleader, as a third party.

As we were getting home, I saw Bob dragging Maria’s hand and brought her away from Ben and I, seemed like he was in urge to talk about something very important, but not a tensed one. We understood that and decided to wait for them at a corner.

‘So, Maira..’

I looked at from where the source of the voice that had made myself in a very derange state the whole day. A good derange though.

‘Er yes?’

I answered nervously. My cheek were cruel, they couldn’t stop blushing right now. I couldn’t look at his eyes, the gazes were too intense for my heart to bear.

‘We met again then.’

He chuckled. He seemed nervous too yet full of excitement and passion. He seemed like he had just found something very precious in his life that had lost for years. And, that couldn’t be me right? How come?

‘Hmm’

I cleared my throat and tried gathering as much confidence as I could to look at him.

‘Wh.. What do mean?’

I raised my eyebrow with no intention at all of doing so.

‘Well..’

He stopped a while before continuing.

‘Remember when you were 13, you asked me my name during our orientation at boarding school?’

He sounded very seducing and his lips formed a very teasing yet alluring smirk.

My jaw dropped. I didn’t remember the incident as well as his face even it was too tempting to be forgotten, yet I did, but I remembered the boarding school and the boy who had a crush on nerdy me. Oh God. Ben. That Ben. Again? And this time, I wasn’t going to run away.

He proposed me back few days afterwards and I accepted it willingly.

A song followed by a rhythmic vibration as my caller ringtone from my flipped phone woke me up from my thoughts. I picked up the phone and heard his voice over the line.

‘Are you going to see me or not?’

Ben asked me, his voice sounded as cold as the winter snow.

‘Em, wait a sec.’

And with that I ended the conversation. I got change and put on a little make up, my face looked horrible, I guessed I got all the qualification it wanted to be casted for horror or ghost movies.

Applying my cocoa butter I just bought, and feeling confidence, well, way down through the reflection from the mirror, which it didn’t matter much right now, I dragged my legs to meet Ben. God knows how afraid I was of him right now, but I didn’t care, as long as I have him by my door at this moment. I just didn’t want a break up.

I grabbed the door knob and push the door opened only to see his figure standing in front of me. His face was intense and he stared at me like he was going to eat me up at this freaking moment. I didn’t dare to look at his face, just looking straight at his torso.

‘Dare you to look me at my face, I swear I will kill you this instant.’

He said. I gulped. Yes he was very mad. As I stepped outside and locked the door, he grabbed my hand tightly and dragged me to the parking space below the apartment where he parked his car. His grip was very firm that I could say it left a bruise. Bruising was better than bleeding huh?

Opening the passenger’s car door, he threw me harshly inside. I could not help it but cursed. Hopefully he didn’t hear me or things were going to be worse than it already were. I really wanted to kill that Sara girl right now for changing my baby into some possessed cow. A mad one.

He ignited the engine and drove away. His driving skill was super awesome too. Why he should be perfect on everything? Yet now, he was driving like a drunk man. He kept on silent along the way. I was also afraid to make any move, just sat quietly, what else to turn on the radio for a better atmosphere. I could not read his intention, his mind, where he was taking me to, but based on the familiar roads, it seemed like it headed to his house. What was up now?

Stopping at his lawn without a proper parking at the garage, he went out of the car, once again dragging me but this time into his house. I was forced to keep the same fast pace of his steps until I felt like rolling onto the ground. But I know he wasn’t letting me to die that easy tonight.

He unlocked the front door, easy for him for being left handed and less the easy for him for using just one hand. Yet he managed and pushed it gratingly and closed it with the same manner. I tried my luck to let go off of his hand yet it was too powerful.

‘Let go of me.’

I begged, rather demanding.

‘Aunty!’

I shouted calling for his mother for help, hopefully her side was on this helpless girl.

I saw an evil smirk on his face.

‘Do you think I’m that stupid to bring you over when my mom’s around?’

He said teasing. He then clenched my dark long hair and bringing my head over, close to his with a rough sway. My scalp felt hurt but my fear overcame it. What was his intention? God. Now I regretted all my stupid texts.

‘What do you want Ben?’

I asked with a wimpy cracked voice.

‘You did ask me to taste you right?’

His warm breaths brushed my face from top of me.

‘And now you ask me what I want?’

I saw him clenching his teeth again. He drew my face closer and crashed his rough lustful kiss on my lips. Our, first, kiss. I couldn’t hold it anymore and burst my tears with my lips still locked in his. He bit my lower lip and savouring it eagerly even harder as I cried, weird sounds that seemed more like moans had turned him on. I could feel his soft and alluring tongue trying to enter my mouth but I tried hard not to give a chance. He seemed to notice my fight and smirked within the kisses. His left hand suddenly made its move to touch my body as he pleased. Landed on my hips, he made attempt to slid under my shirt. I tried to stop and pushing him yet I was too pathetic and he was way too strong for me. I was just a woman with him, being twice as strong as a normal guy. His tanned hand moved passionately, rubbing my bare skin until it reached my bra, and I knew, once and only once he unclicked it, I was a dead meat, and so he did. I gasped of his action and his tongue immediately pushed inside of my mouth vigorously meeting mine and savouring its tastes, rolling it together. His right hand released my hair and made its way to clench my jaw this time, gluing so it would not bit his tongue while his other hand trying to finish what it started. I knew his intention so my two hands that were still free cupped my bra’s cups so he at least wouldn’t have chance to touch my boobs. He released me slowly after enduring my mouth for the last time, and raked me up and down with his piercing eyes.

His eyes then fell on hands on my boobs. Yes I would protect myself, my pride and dignity even it was from someone I love the most even with the last soul I have, even I know I couldn’t do a thing against Ben now. My texts were out of my insanity. I was doomed and only now dare to regret.

He laughed sarcastically looking at how thin my protection was now, just two hands cupping it securely. He grabbed my small body with no hardship and lifted me onto his shoulder, my wrist at his shoulder and my hips at his face to be exact. I was shocked with his sudden move, I struggled. My legs kept on swaying even I knew it was useless until it bumped with a hard member of his. I know I was really a dead meat now.

*************************************************************************************************

Ben’s POV

She struggled to release herself from my capture but her physical was too weak and easy. I felt a slight of pride crept into my heart as I had all the power against her. I brought her up to my room without difficulty, crashing her onto the bed, taking off my shirt and throwing it on the floor. My hands struggled to unbuckle my belt, they were shaking from some sort of adrenaline. I couldn’t think straight right now. My heart burnt with lustful desire over her body and my head couldn’t stop of imagining more than what I was seeing. She was crouching at the end of my bed after making moves backward, making glimpses full of fear and hugging herself like I was going to rape her. And in fact I was about to. I didn’t really care of the consequences of my doing right now. I was her first and she was mine, what if I hurt her and she bled heavily because my manly part was kind of big, and worst of all, what if she got pregnant because currently, I didn’t bring condom everywhere, preparing for things like this. I chose not to care though. I was possessed with a very lustful demon, hungry for a taste of a virgin, beautiful virgin like her.

My jeans went down my legs after few moves, showing my short and I kicked the pants away. My member was showing its manhood, and indeed it never failed me. It hardened and became crazily horny from inside the short I was wearing and became tight. I had to pull off every single thread on my body right now so I did. I threw away my short and I was standing proud, naked with my turned on penis. I played with it, rubbed it back and forth, teasing her with a smirk on my face.

‘Don’t you dare to challenge me baby. I had it all you wanted now you see’

I smirked again, looking at my hard part and then at her, teasingly.

‘He.. hey Ben. Look. What I said, I wa wasn’t tthat ..’

She stuttered. I approached and crawled onto the bed. She crouched even more.

‘Im sorry..’

She said within a bursting tear. Oh God, this turned me on even more. Cry more baby. I just love it so much. I grabbed her legs and dragged it roughly near to me. She screamed yet I didn’t think anyone could hear her. She fell backwards against her back. I made quick move and made my way on top of her, locking her thighs from moving, it was as easy as a piece of shit. She was small and I guest her woman part was the same. Oh baby, this is going to be a long night I suppose?

My right hand gripped her hand tightly, and my left hand caressed her cheek. I swallowed my throat, couldn’t wait to endure every single taste of her this instant. I bent down, trying to meet my lips with hers but she avoided. I ended up pecking the side of her neck. It smelled so nice, I inhaled the scent slowly before opening my mouth, biting her neck. I sucked it up and down eagerly that I could hear her moans, seemed like she was unwillingly enjoying it. I smiled between the smooches. She had the naughty side of her and it was showing in bed.

‘God you taste good baby. I can’t stop..’

I panted. I continued my action while my left hand trailed down her body. Her hand tried to stop me to but failed. I admire her spirit though. I couldn’t wait for more. Parting my kisses, I went backward and tried to pull off her clothes. She screamed even more now and scrambled. It didn’t stop my action, winning, I hurled the clothes somewhere down the floor before a piece of boobs showing freely, covered with only a loosed bra from downstairs scene just now. I smiled in triumph.

‘Oh God, please don’t do this Ben. I, I don’t want it to be like this. I, I can, we can.. but not yet.. I wa wasn’t ready please.’

She pleaded. I could tell that she was blushing even with some light from outside.

Her words sounded like a lullaby to my burning desire now. This was the very first time I ever saw real boobs in front of my eyes and it were for real. My eyes raked them and tried to grab and take off her bra roughly until two tits with big iolas were showing. They were fair and seemed gorgeously alluring. I didn’t blink or think any other second before crashing my mouth to taste them. I savoured them, licked them, sucked them, all a guy ever wanted to do with big boobs. My tongue could feel her nipples were hardening and I knew she was enjoying it too. My left hand made its way to squeeze one of her breasts and I squeezed it hard before brushing and playing with her tit. Hearing her loud moans, without hesitation I smooched the other one hardly for more. My cork hardened even more now. I brushed it roughly against her covered part. Seconds later I heard her unbearable scream and she quickly covered her mouth. I knew I hit the spot.

‘Did your crotch enjoy it?’

I chuckled naughtily and wanting for more, I grabbed her denim and tried to unzip it, and brought it down to her lower thighs. She seemed to give up a little, probably still shocked with the hit just now. Her lilac feminine underpant was showing. My head and heart burnt with joy even more. I touched her waist, down to her underpant, sliding my middle fingers into it and pulled it down until some part of her vagina was now in my view. God, oh God, forgive me. Oh God, this was like the best night of my life.

I ripped it down raspingly and now I had gotten all the shots I wanted. A piece of fresh vagina was in front of me. It was fair and looked untouched. I smiled proudly at my own self and my girl as well. She took great care of it, for me. I bent down, only inches apart from hers before her hand pushed my head away.

‘Don’t, please.’

She begged. Tears ran down her puffy cheeks. My heart sank. No, no this wasn’t right. I stayed quite for a while on top of her before wheedling

‘Don’t worry, it wont hurt you see, I will not bite you. I promise baby.’

I said, half coaxing now. My feeling to make sex had turned for making love with her all of the sudden. She was the one I love the most anyway, no matter in what condition. I looked into her eyes and I knew, I would never have a heart to hurt her. Yet I had gotten things to be finished off now. I caressed her cheek with my thumb and fell to her lips. I brushed the soft complexion very delicately, assuring her that I won’t harm her, she could trust me, that we were together in this. She smiled, doubly at me. I knew she could never resist me, even she tried hard to deny it, I was always her man.

I squeezed her hands softly, kissing them and inched my face to touch the softness part of her, confident that she would not reject. She didn’t. I smiled again. For the first time, I licked it few times, inhaling the new and foreign smell that I gained from her upper part of vagina. It sent shivers all over my spine. I trailed down, my hands forced all the pants down, undressed her hastily, brushing my lips against her fair thigh while my hands crawled upward and spread her legs wider. A better view of her womanhood was in front of me. I gasped.

‘Em Ben..’

I didn’t reply, instead, slowly making my way to reach the middle of it and opened my mouth to get the taste of it. My tongue got a soft contact with the soft skin and felt some sort of mucus covering it. I could feel my mouth forming a naughty smile, so she was enjoying it all the while huh.

‘Ben.. don’t.’

‘Hush…’

I said and licked her vagina again, it tasted, very different and I enjoyed it. Bringing my nose close, I breathed in slowly, indulging the smell. Oh I could die now. I kissed it and sucked it, swallowed all the mucus until it dried away, rolling my tongue up and down until it met her crotch, faster and faster. I couldn’t help it, I bit it slowly with my lower teeth. She hissed and groaned, clenched my hair with both of her hands.

‘Ouh Ben.. D.. don’t.’

I couldn’t stop. This was too tempting. I nursed her crotch, putting some pressure on it and she moaned, flinched again. Parted with her part, I leaned forward, pressed my palms against the soft bed to hold the weight of my body, trying to get a contact of my boner with her sticky alley before rubbing it. I fastened the pace as my hard part seemed to enjoy it very much. I couldn’t help but noticed that she was producing more mucus, making the intimate contact producing sound like some sort of soft splatter.

‘Bb.. Ben. I, ouh I c.. can’t take it.’

She gasped. Her crotch might sexually hurt due to the friction. I didn’t reply her, I was too busy savouring every moment.

My boner wanted more. Its head tried to enter her, pushed into a small hole of hers slowly but it didn’t seem to crack. I fondled a bit harder and harder until my dick’s head was fully in her now. It felt so good that I couldn’t back off now. I promise I would take care of you baby. I heard another moans from her. She clasped my neck and my hands wrapped her naked body close to mine, didn’t want to let go. I embraced her neck, sucking it here and there, didn’t really care of what would show up in the near future and my hands were busy cruising up and down her boobs, her hips, her tooshie. She was perfect.

My boner stroked her deeper this time, it felt so tight, so damn good. She screamed in unbearable pain, it seduced me even more. I thrust her even harder, and faster and faster, ignoring her pleadings.

‘Ouhh Ben urmphh God, it hurts me.’

She panted.

‘You want me to stop?’

I whispered at her ear, intended to tease her.

‘Nn no. No I want it baby. Dd.. don’t stop.’

It sent shivers through my spine hearing her saying that. She closed her eyes. She looked damn sexy, sweating and panting.

I became more excited and thrust her deeper. I could feel some sort of mucus flowing down, and it was a bit different from her shiny mucus I licked just now. I knew, I was taking her only pride now.

‘I promise, I would make you my wife baby, I promise’

I said firmly, with the biggest determination I ever had in my whole life.

I pecked her forehead and continued to finish what I had started.

My phone on the night stand all of the sudden rang. My hand tried to reach it and turned it off. I knew Sara would be upset of me for ignoring her calls since I left her house in hurry, but for now, I had a very serious job with my loved one to take care of.

*************************************************************************************************

Maira’s POV

‘I promise, I would make you my wife baby, I promise’

That was some few lines of his words that I caught before my mind disappearing into some sort of ecstasies, the best feeling of rushed adrenaline. He shot outside, as far as I remembered. I wasn’t sure if that helped in preventing me from getting pregnant because he wetted me few times, many times, I lost count as we kept on asking each other’s for more. The fact scared the hell out of me. If in case I got pregnant, I guess it probably won’t show any obvious signs, not at least until this November, two months or something from now, right? I wanted to sit on my last exam with no mocking stares, please no.

The sunrays that came in through his large glass window that wasn’t covered properly with the soft grey curtain shoved me out of my dream. I heard a soft snore beside me. I felt my body was hugged from my back, very firmly like the person didn’t want to let me go for good, or made me die from lack of air. I released myself from him, lifting his hand very gently, afraid of waking him up. Not that I cared if I disturb his sweet sleep, but more because I was afraid of confronting the fact that we got laid last night. Very not sure of what kind of reaction should I made. Angry? Nope. Tensed? Kind of but not too accurate. Sad? No I wasn’t really upset of what had happened between us. I have been dreaming for this. It was just that I didn’t expect it to be, this way. I always thought of losing my virginity with him somewhere where it would be more romantic like, Hawaii or something during our honeymoon. Yet, I didn’t regret it at all, not even the slightest regrets. Or shy? That was totally insane. I wasn’t shy at all at him all this while, acting crazy without no faking it. Oh God, how was I ever going to look at him in the eye without thinking how embarrassing my act last night was, moaning all over and all over again. God. I was doomed, such an idiot!

I grabbed all the possible clothes that seemed mine and put them on hastily like I was very late to school. School? Oh God, lucky today was Saturday. I stood up but after some move I made, I couldn’t bear the pain, stumbled and fell onto the soft furry carpet. Ouch that hurt. Even this was the first time for me, I could tell that his part was big, was very long enough to bring out pain in between my thighs up inside. The fall produced a rather loud thump. I quickly brought my eyes, peeping which didn’t like it at all, at Ben in bed. He moved a bit, seemed disturbed. Biting my lower lip, waiting for him to rise from under the cover yet he stayed quite few seconds later. God knows how I was going to get home with this condition. And thinking about that, I doubted that my neck didn’t show any hickeys because last night, I remembered having Ben sucking my body hard here and there. The event last night indeed created goosebumps all over my body. I stayed there for quite sometimes, finding a way to get home, and how not to get caught by my sister with the bruises and hickeys, and this funny walk. Without me realising it, I was stalking all over Ben’s room. It was very roomy and looked dashing, it suited him. Quite tidy, shockingly. The room was plain white, more like a modern style if compared with most spaces of his house, with a lot of walls decorations, mostly his winning medals and posters of his favourite artists. His black sturdy study desk with some piles of book under it sat quietly at some corner and some sort of black bookshelves near it mostly filled with trophies instead of books. There was a big screen television plastered on the wall with some sort of play station under it and there was also an X-Box. Huh. Over the big glass window with curtain covering it, there was rather a large grey couch, near his big bed with small black coffee table facing it with fresh red flowers in glass pot which was unknown to me, with a frame. A frame, of him and.. Sara. I moved closer to take a better look at the framed picture. Instead of me, it really was Sara’s. The back scene seemed familiar, it looked like the picture was taken somewhere in this room, while they were studying. I felt a bit of jealousy crept into my heart. I hate him, and her. I hate them! Ben had never invited me to his room, we just hung out mostly at his front lawn or sometimes living hall. And, he never ever bothered to study together. Whenever I asked him to teach me, he asked me to work for it by myself. Only after whining all day, only then he would do my homework, which mostly maths. I didn’t count. He did it all for me without teaching me back that I ended up clueless when my unbelievable gloomy math teacher asked me how did I get all the answers correct. Yeah, yeah I know, I had never liked him teaching me. He was too strict and fierce when he was teaching and lecturing me. I didn’t like it so most of the time, my mind just wandered around and I ignored him. Maybe that was the reason he liked hanging around with her instead of me, lately. God.

Ben’s POV

I heard the fall sound, but my mind was too heavy to bother. I stayed quite, gathering all the determination to wake up. My energy was like, drained from the rocking and shaking last night. My lips was half smiling, naughtily I could say, thinking about it. I took a very deep breath, before moving aside and opened my eyes, rubbing them slowly. Maira was nowhere in bed. I lifted the cover off of my naked body and sat on the bed, yawning and stretching my arms. Looking around to find her, she was blushing on the floor with a very awkward forced smile, I believed so. I winked my left eye at her before smiling naughtily, raking her dressed figure up and down. I didn’t bother to cover my morning banana shape boner, instead felt proud of it and exposed it even more. Her cheeks turn red.

‘Going home already? Don’t you wanna stay any longer? I’ve still got some in me if you know what I mean.’

I chuckled coolly. I lied. We barely slept last night. My body felt used, but if she was up for another round, well, why not, I was ready for action.

I turned my head to my left to get a view of the alarm clock on the night stand. It showed 7.16 am. Today was weekend and I didn’t feel the rush to go, well no where. Standing on my both feet, I walked passed her with my nude form, grabbing a towel before heading towards the toilet. The urge to let go of my water couldn’t be stopped.

Turning off the glass faucet after a quick shower, I heard the sound of a closed door. I stood still for a while, thinking, and smiled. Well, she couldn’t go home with whatever condition she was now. I wiped my body in haste, threw the used towel onto the counter before reaching my bath robe and covered my body. I didn’t usually take shower this early but my body needed wash, especially the man part of mine.

Stepped out of the bathroom, I looked around for her, indeed she had gone, but couldn’t be far, perhaps just reaching the stairs down to the living hall, if my estimation was right. She was hurt, kind of bad I guessed. I penetrated her so I knew. Heh.

I walked towards the door room to fetch her back. I was purposely ignoring her just now, well teasing. It wasn’t true that after I used her all up, I dumped her like shit. She was rather a piece of meat, with feeling, mixed feelings though, yet I loved her.

As I saw her back, I cleared my throat to make her aware of my presence.

‘Ehmm. You seemed, like you need, help?’

I stood in the door frame, leaning my right hand against it.

‘Absurd. I don’t need your crap help’

She sounded very snob. Okay let us see then.

She stepped down one of the stairs then stopped for a while. She seemed like she was bending a little, pressing her left hand against the wall and her other hand squeezed her belly. I couldn’t help myself from feeling sorry, or more like, guilty. I came near to her, facing and blocking her way. She stuttered and blushed, oh so cute of her. I moved my hands, trying to lift her, and held her in my arms bridal style, and brought her back to my room. She posed quietly, no fights, so obedient. I smiled at her but she wasn’t looking. Kneeled down one of my legs on the bed, I put her and said,

‘Just lay in bed. I will make you breakfast’,

In a very guilty intonation, almost mumbling.

I put cover upon her body and crumbled her head, hair I mean. I kissed her on her lips, putting a low pressure, yet savouring. She seemed, amazed, speechless. I chuckled again on how cute her reactions could be sometimes.

As I wanted to make my way to the kitchen, wanting to make whatever things that I knew could be eaten by human being, she grabbed my hand, and, pecked it for few seconds. For like, the thousands of times I saw she blushed.

‘Thanks Ben.’

And shyly smiled at me.

I sat beside her laid body, facing her.

‘For..?’

I inched my head to my left with a perverted smile.

I waited for her answer instead receiving nothing from her mouth.

‘For taking your virginity I guess?’

I answered for her instead.

Her face suddenly made changes from full of shyness to full of sadness after hearing my saying. I knew she was scared and all. Well, me too. All the possible consequences could happen by now, our caretakers, her sister and my friendly yet very strictly strict mother would run amok if they knew about this matter, my father, huh he was far from issue, my issue, the possibility of her getting pregnant and not able to sit for her exam calmly and mostly, Sara, what would her reaction be if I told her. Well, why should I concern myself with her feelings? She should have supported me, she was my friend, right? Well the other dumb guys, I knew they would be proud of and hailed me for nailing my innocent girlfriend.

‘Hey, hey listen to me. I will not let you alone in this okay. I promise.’

I held her hands and squeezed them. I stared her hazel eyes, my sincerity and the genuineness of my feelings for her at the moment were showing I could tell. I pulled her and she lifted her body and made attempt to sit beside me. I rubbed her back and drew her closer to me for a hug. In within the embrace, I whispered.

‘I did promise to make you my wife right? Don’t ever doubt that, no matter what happen in our future okay? But for now we need not tell anyone about this. Understand?’

Parted with her I added,

‘Now, allow me to make breakfast, princess?’

I was being sweet mouthing I knew. She nodded obediently. Looking her in this condition, so helpless and vulnerable, acting so polite and all, I wish she could stay this cunning all the time, stopped acting like a crazy and sick clown.

‘And oh, do you want me to shower you?’

She immediately declined with a quick shock of her head.

I laughed hard.

Sara’s POV

I barely slept last night. I was really upset with Benjamin. He went away without a single word and he didn’t pick up my calls or reply my hundred texts at all. I was worried, about whoever involved in accident he said. My parents passed the message to me. Was it one of our close friends? Or classmate? And I was worried about him as well. What if, he, instead of trying to save his friend from accident, he involved in it as well along the way.

8.52 am in the morning if according to my phone.

I was done with preparing breakfast and left the pancakes I made on the table for Daniel. He wasn’t around so I knew he must had overslept. Today was weekend. Plus, it was his birthday party last night and his excitement of opening all the boxes of presents must had made him went sleeping late. My mom had gone out for groceries and my dad was finishing his work in our library, kind of small if compared with Ben’s but still nice in my opinion. Ben and I usually spent our time studying and stuff there if it wasn’t at his place. My dad loved to keep all kind of genres of good books in the library especially literature, my interest so we found it easy to get references for our homework. Ben said he loved reading and it suited me, where I loved to read too, but mostly based on my preference. He loved science and logics instead. He was a bit jealous of me, he said because my father was a very loving man and had all his time to keep his family’s company and cared to know his children’s orientations. I didn’t have comment on that. He had it all and everything, but I knew, deep down, he was desperate for his dad’s love and attention. He missed a complete family. Well, you see Ben, we could have it on our own. Get married and have beautiful kids. I can be a good and loving mother to your sons.

I only said that to myself, unable to tell him so. I went to my room, preparing myself to go to his house. If he didn’t have the chance to tell me, I couldn’t just wait and hoped my heart could sooth any sooner. I needed to know.

Ben’s POV

After eating the sandwiches I made, she left for shower. It was quite sometimes until now but she needed time to clean and stuff. I wanted to help but she refused. Well, it wasn’t like I ever wanted to take advantage on her. I just felt, guilty. She must be feeling so insecure right now, afraid if I would leave her and she ended up bearing all the hates and sorry stares. I didn’t want that to happen to her, well I would never let that happen. She was my girl.

I grabbed my phone, and sat on the lower frame of my window. All 24 missed calls and 46 texts which 30 were from Sara, while the rest were from those jerks, Bob included. She must be freaking worried by now. She easily worried about others and that was the thing that I liked the most about that girl. She was kind hearted, too kind sometimes. I dialled her number through the missed calls list. She picked up and her sweet voice over the phone sounded so, serenading even with the inelegance of tone.

‘Hello Ben. Why didn’t you pick up my call? You know how worried I was? What happened? Are you hurt?’

I chuckled on how she was always like that, freaking cute.

‘I’m okay honey. Chill.’

I could feel my lips forming its sincere smile. She always managed to bring a slight of serenity within me, like a caressed daffodil on breezy day.

‘Huhh’

I heard her sigh.

‘I’m coming to your house. Open the door any minute I will arrive. You owe me explanations for leaving.’

I started to panic. No, no she couldn’t and shouldn’t see me, us like this. Oh God.

‘Err I, I wasn’t at home babe. Maybe, later?

I bluffed.

‘Oh, where are you then? What actually happened Benjamin? I have the right to know.’

Oh how I liked to hear her saying my full name yet in this kind of situation, I didn’t think that mattered much.

‘I’m.. well somewhere. We’ll talk later okay? I’ll call you again. I promise.’

I tried to stop her from coming. She shouldn’t see Maira here, she didn’t need to know, not yet. The reason, well I myself wasn’t quite sure about that. Let just assumed that I didn’t want her to end our relationship, friendship actually after seeing the jerk side of me for now.

‘Seriously Ben? I am at your gate now, and, why the hell your gate is opening wide? Are you inviting some burglars or what?’

I was dead meat. What should I say.

‘I’m at Bob’s. Well, the truth is his cousin, he got heart attack or something last night. His parents were away. He was so freaking afraid, wasn’t sure what to do and, called me. So, I went there, I mean here. With him, picking me up.’

Did that make any sense? Didn’t sound quite logic, but who cared.

‘Oh my goodness. This cousin of him, he’s hospitalized right, of course, where’s the hosp? You want me to come?’

She asked, still with a worried intonation even it was a complete stranger for her. Because of this side of her, she was very adored at school by the girls and guys just couldn’t stop drooling over her.

‘No baby, no. Just, just turn around already okay. He’s fine now. I know you barely slept last night right, thinking over me?’

I chuckled again. Yes, I did call her baby sometimes. I loved her, so why not? Even a love for a friend.

‘Anyway, thank you very much for your concern. It’s so kind of you. I’ll see you later, okay?’

I assured her.

‘Hm. Okay if you said so. Take care of yourself okay. Anything, just inform me. Please and thank you.’

I heard her giggle over the line before turning off the conversation. I looked at my phone for few seconds, before making my way to type few words and forwarded them to Bob. As far as I knew, Bob only had a cousin, which was far away from here, and he was like four or five. She bought that. Hahah.

‘Em, who’s that?’

God I forgot about her.

I turned my face to her. I almost dropped my phone. It already fell once and cracked a bit. Twice? Wasn’t so sure what it would look like. I hadn’t done anything wrong, did I? But why I felt like I was being interrogated.

‘Well, Sara.’

I spoke the truth.

She rubbed her face with her palms in haste and licked her bottom lip. She looked alluring with only towel wrapped from her chest down to her knees, revealing her fair and soft skin. Her black hair was still wet after the shower. Last night, it was kind of gloomy for we were only shone by the light outside, so it wasn’t this vivid. It triggered my desire but I chased it away, knowing that she should be tamed first. Looking at me like I had done the biggest mistake of all my life, she said,

‘I want to go home.’

‘You are not going anywhere. You will not expose our secret so you will stay until Sunday. Your sister, I’d texted her that you are going to spend time at Maria’s, your bestie, isn’t it? And I already texted Maria. Both using your phone.’

I said as cool as I could. She should have noticed already who ruled the relationship here.

‘I don’t care. Send me home now.’

She crossed her hands, looking me straight in the eyes. This girl was stubborn.

I sighed loudly.

‘Well, that’s up to you. As far as I know, I will not send you anywhere so you can tell anyone what I did, what we did.’

As much as I wanted to stay my name clean, as much as that I didn’t want hers to get stained.

‘How could you?’

She gasped and seemed like she wanted to cry. Not again? You were such a drama queen, but, my heart, it easily fell for that. She wanted to speak but I cut her.

‘Honey, love, my darling debutante, enough is enough, already. Please. I, Sara and I, we don’t have anything okay. We are just friendss.’

I stressed the word friend so it entered her numb head.

‘Nothing more, nothing less.’

I swung my hands in the air, like I was giving a public speech.

‘I did you last night remember? I didn’t touch her, I touched you. I didn’t kiss her, I kissed you, and all.’

I gave a sort of long explanation even it didn’t need to.

‘Now, just dial it down okay. Come.’

I went up and stood with my feet and opened my arms for her.

‘No.’

She said in pout. She was way too cute and adorable when she was acting sweet.

‘Ouhh come on. My offer, well, will end in half a minute you see..’

I smiled cheekily at her, still with opened arms. She bought it. She came closer, quite slowly and hugged me, and kissed my chest. Well, she was short, my shorty. Lucky that I wore t-shirt, or else, my penis would turn on by now. I replied her hug and caressed her back. She was easy but I loved her that way.

‘And oh honey, who’s this Nick guy? I saw it in your inbox.’

Parted with her, I half smiled, and lifted my eyebrow.

*************************************************************************************************

2 months before.

Maira’s POV

‘I’m Nicholas Hudson, you guys can just call me Nick. Thank you.’

Kind of polite with a sincere smile. A little bit enthusiastic I noticed. His accent was a bit different to my ears too. A nice difference.

He introduced himself to the class. The girls were all kind of looking at each other with undeniable smiles. I raised my left eyebrow looking at them like, monkeys I could describe. Yes indeed this guy was all, good looking, well you see, pan Asian, mixed blood if my eyes were telling the truth, kind of exotic here. My eyes weren’t really looking but I could describe him as tall, handsome face, his skin was fair almost pale white and he had a pretty sharp jaw, very manly. His cash, I was pretty sure he had big pockets of money since he just moved in from some sort of, England? London? Well, somewhere over there. They said their currency was high.

I didn’t focus much on him because I was busy texting my boyfriend, my hands were under the table to be exact. I missed him. It had been days, or almost two weeks I hadn’t meet him. He was busy with his sport, rugby. He said, this was his last tournament because few months from now, on November we were going to have our final examination that would determine our future career so he wanted to focus on study and everything after all the matches ended. Mine? Well, I wasn’t sure about that yet. And thinking about the exam, how could this newbie was going to sit for it? He wasn’t familiar with the education system here.

‘Hi.’

A manly voice intruded my wandered mind. I was kind of shocked yet turned left, I smiled and nodded a bit.

‘Mind if I sit beside you?’

He added in a very mannered tone.

‘Well, sure. I’m pretty sure this is the only sit right?’

I chuckled nervously. Wasn’t really sure though why I was suddenly feeling nervous. He pulled out the seat and comfortably landed on it. Maria was having quite a terrible fever, she was off from school like from last three or four days until today. So her sit next to mine was available for this guy. I kind of missed her. She was the only close friend of mine here. I was kind of closed with inviting some random girls into our friendship, but she kept on doing so.

‘So Maira, would you mind to share your book with Nick? Or, you didn’t bring it again?’

The teacher smiled very sarcastically followed by teasing laughs from the rest of the class. More like a sound of buzzing in my ears. I hate this teacher, most teachers of my school. Now, I was the one who was smiling like an injured monkey.

‘I, bring it, Miss.’

I waved her the book. She didn’t seem to show any interest then making her way to her seat and gave instruction which was pretty basic, open the page of blah blah blah.

I heard a chuckle. Not teasing, but more like assuring.

‘Don’t worry, you got my back next time.’

And with that strange, strong accent he grinned at me, showing his left dimple. I couldn’t help myself but looking at his eyes. His eyes, they were very seducing and charming, mild grey in colour, not like most other mixed-bloods where they usually came with brown eyes. I blushed in confusion. What was wrong with this new boy? He didn’t know a thing, yet?

Nick’s POV

She blushed. She had a very beautiful face, like a doll in my opinion. Dark-hazel round eyes, not rare but they suited her face, black long hair with fringe, tied in a ponytail. Like a Mexican, but not like it. Like an Indian, well far from it. She had a very fair complexion. I didn’t like to classify people according to their races. Well I was a mixed breed myself, half Asian and half English. I was proud of whoever I was.

Along the learning and teaching process, she was busy texting. It was rude to peep and to ask her to stop as well. I just ignored her action and focus on Miss Lilly who was teaching in front even I was kind of clueless a bit a lot. She was teaching math, yet in my place, it was different, not the calculations and formula, but the basic itself. I realised now, I had a lot to catch up. The syllabus was totally different. My dad said that I could just drop the exam, well, I was up to challenge. It was okay if I failed it, as long as I had tried. That was my principle, I guessed.

Dad got a better offer here and we moved in. I was the only child and mom had long gone, only her words and memories with her that I brought with me to keep on smiling even it was kind of empty sometimes especially when dad went out for few days, or sometimes months under business matter, so usually, I would bring my buddies over. When I was younger, dad sent me to a baby sitter’s house, she was more like a granny to me than a childminder, but as fate had decided it, she had passed away too when I was 14. Since I was quite a grown up myself, I asked my dad’s permission to stay alone at home instead of troubling other people to take care of me. At my old place, there rarely had been cases of burglaries, could be said none at all. You could even walk passed the back alley of an abandoned building without feeling insecure at all.

I missed my old friends and old place, the people and temperature was different too. First few days, I caught a fever. I couldn’t adapt myself with rather hot temperature because, London, it was always cold, even in summer. I did text my friends but it wasn’t synchronise in pace. The difference in time was obvious. They went sleeping when I was up to school. Here, school started at 10 am or so. It was split as said by the principle here. We, the seniors got the second session so we could get up a bit late and had plenty of time to get ready. Well, what that did ever give any difference to me? I was having a terrible jet lag, since past few days.

‘Ehmm.’

I cleared my throat so that I could get her attention. I had been getting a lot of attentions from other girls since I came here but her, seemed like a hard shot huh?

She turned to me and smiled again. There was something with her smile, it was sweet and attractive. I smiled back as a reply before asking her.

‘This is like, the last session, isn’t it? Seemed like I am late for my first day of school. Kind of bad record huh?’

I tried to make her to have conversation with me. Miss Lilly had gone out for a while, perhaps for a loo. Anyway, her class only left few minutes more.

‘It’s, fine.’

She chuckled hurriedly and went back to her phone. She seemed, different to my eyes, kind of a quiet girl, a bit snob I could say, and more like suffer in silence type of soul you could find in many schools around the world, not my old school for sure. They were all very friendly to each other and would never let anyone felt like they were being left out. They didn’t have bias on races, and treated each person as equal as the rest, accepted for, gender. There, the citizens were very protective over women. There was once when I was arguing with my ex-girlfriend in a mall, or more like, she was nagging and did all the talking while I just kept on standing there, with some coaxing gestures, people came near us, and asked her whether she needed help. Lucky she just said that we were under some discussion for our school assignments. We ended up being best friends instead of best couple of the year.

‘Do you happen to have notes for other subjects? I think, I had a lot to work out for final exam.’

I tried my luck again, not to have her notes, but to make her talking.

She nodded.

‘I can lend you mine but, em, I wasn’t sure if you could read my handwriting, it’s horrible.’ She laughed in a very feminine manner.

She replied in a quite long line of words. It made me feel like my invisible blanket had sort of bleaching out and she only noticed me now.

‘It’s cool, it’s very wonderful. It’s just fine with me, thank you.’

I stayed quite for a while before continuing.

‘So, do you have plan after school? Like going out or something?’

She chuckled again and said,

‘Nope. My friend’s fallen sick.’

She gestured her hand over my seat.

‘I don’t really have, friends.’

Oh it was pity of her, a loner. Well, I could be her friend if she was open to it. I barely made many friends here by far, because, I officially went out of home, well today, after some sort of meditation in my room with full blast of air-conditioner to gain as much cool and to avoid heat as far as I could.

‘We can be friends.’

I smiled in ascertainment, taking out my hand under the table to her, for a shake.

She mused and hesitantly grabbing my hand, with both hands instead. It was funny. People don’t do that you see.

‘Want to go to my place after school?’

I asked her.

‘Well, this uniform, well, I need to get a change. Where’s your house anyway? I need to go home first.’

‘Oh, my house’s just few minutes from school. You know a convenient store, er, what was its name again, em Door..’

I stressed my face, trying to remember.

‘Dooriya?’

She asked. Seemed like she knew it

‘Yes exactly. Kind of a weird name for a shop isn’t it?

I chuckled. She chuckled as well.

‘Its owner is Japanese, so no wonder I guess.’

‘Oh really? Well, my house’s just across the shop. The five storey flat if you noticed it.’

‘Oh, that condo?’

She asked.

‘Sort of. My dad rent it for a while before we could find somewhere, someplace to settle down.’

I replied.

‘Well, my house is just like, one or two minutes walk from yours. I live in nearby apartment, with my sister. Not much, if compared to yours anyway but mine is nearer from school.’

She laughed.

‘I’m sorry to ask but, er, your parents?..’

I was curious about that instead.

‘Well, my mom’s gone when I was 15.’

She seemed vulnerable and hurt deep down even she tried hard to pose a very happy smile.

I gained some details about her in just for couples of minutes talking. It was like we were going to be a very good friend and so huh?

‘Oh my.. I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that.’

I felt a lump of guilt in my chest.

‘Eh it’s nothing, really. Anyway, yours? You live with..’

‘Ringggg’ The sound of the bell cut her words.

‘Okay class, please finish the homework that I’ve given you. Class dismissed.’

Miss Lilly gave instruction to us before ending the class, out of nowhere, or perhaps I wasn’t paying attention to the class anymore, but to her.

We walked out of the class, last, after all the other students had rushed for home.

‘My mom’s gone too. I only have a very loving dad now.’

I winked at her.

‘Oh that’s so lucky of you Nick.’

***********************************************************************************************

Maira’s POV

Reaching home from school, I had to apologize him for I could not make it to his house because something was up. I didn’t tell him the truth that I received a text from Ben saying that he wanted to meet me. Indeed, I didn’t tell him at all about my beloved boyfriend. Why should I anyway. We barely knew each other and he must not want to bore his head with my personal stories right. He gave me his contact number, and I typed it on my iPhone I got as birthday present from Ben last year. This year was coming soon.

‘What’s yours?’

He asked, again in a very gentleman way, grabbing his in the pocket. So it proved true now that all Englishmen were very charming and polite. I heard it from Maria when she was having vacation with her family last school holiday in London. But, this guy wasn’t really British.

‘Oh I will call you okay?’

I made a thumb up gesture before pressing the lift button.

As the door lift to the fourth floor closed with me inside, I saw him waving in a very cute manner. I threw a smile at him before replying his bye. God, he was so nice and I felt appreciated with the way he treated me.

Entering home, I headed to my room. In this house, there were three bedrooms, with my sister having the master one. I chose the one closest to the bathroom and kitchen so it was easier for me, to do the basics of being a human. The apartment was kind of small actually, but it fitted nicely for two single women and me being the girl. My sister was kind of perfectionist, hygiene maniac, so we always had a good and pleasant sight of the house. My sister, she rarely reached home earlier than 7 or 8pm. She stayed late at her office, because despite of being so perfectionist, she was a workaholic as well. No wonder she didn’t have boyfriend. While June, she was always out, not really sure where’d she go most of the time. I didn’t know a thing about her including her occupation, what she did for a living. The rest, wasn’t really my issue I suspect. She was quite a mysterious woman. I always thought of her as a vampire, hunting her weak victims at nights or, more like prostitute, a very good one though.

Closing the door, I pulled out all my clothes and threw them in a laundry bag, grabbing a towel to cover my body and headed to shower. It was reaching 6 pm and my body was sticky, messy and all.

We didn’t have heater, so the water was as cold as hell, well, winter, whatever. I always got flue after shower but that didn’t give strong excuse for my sister to buy one for the house. She said, we were only renting, plus we needed to think of the cost of plumbing, the bill for the heating and such. She was such stingy as well.

My phone rang when I was busy drying my hair with the old hair dryer that my sister was so ungenerous to buy a new one. I jogged and grabbed it, knowing that it was my Ben, and it was true.

‘Hello baby...’

I said in a very childish voice. I knew, I disgusted him sometimes but I chose to ignore it.

‘Helloo..’

He said, sounded tired. Based on his pitch, I could imagine he was smiling.

‘Where are you? You said you want to meet me?’

I immediately asked, not wanting him to forget about our plan, his plan actually.

‘Oh yeah, of course. I, well, on the way. Miss me already?’

I heard his chortle over the line.

‘Of course I am.’

I pouted.

‘We didn’t meet since last week. Hummm.’

I wanted to sulk. He just couldn’t understand me sometimes.

‘Hahah. Okay, text me when you are ready. I just couldn’t wait to see you. I miss you too little bunny.’

I like it when he used sweet words to call me, and little bunny, err kind of.

‘Okayy.. I love you’

I said that adorably.

‘Me too.’

He replied. Why it was so hard for him to say ‘I love you’ to me? I hate him. God. He instantly ended the call. I threw the phone onto the bed, feeling mixed. Huh.

I walked towards my closet, sliding the door and my eyes went back and forth, looking for a better clothes to put on, and grabbed a light yellow blouse, also a present from Ben, but with no special occasion upon it.

Ben’s POV

Inhaling the last lungful of the smoke, I threw the cigarette into the small ashtray that sat in front of the car hand brake, in a loop. It jumped out onto the carpet but I didn’t feel like to bother myself with the picking, instead squishing it with my foot. Being burnt in my own car wasn’t the right way of starting my life in heaven.

I waited her outside of her house and it had been 15 minutes. She was such a girl, with all the make-ups and what not. I liked her that way, but I liked her better if she had all the make-ups off, plain beauty was better, like Sara.

Talking about Sara now, I wondered what was wrong with my head these few days, or weeks. I couldn’t stop thinking about her, almost all the time. Maybe because we were always together at school, even during my evening practices, she would come to accompany me, cheering for me but with her books and all. Maybe because of that, I was used of seeing her around so my brain worked by itself, drawing her face all over my mind. I was getting crazy.

Looking my right hand with the black hard rubber bangle she once bought me with a small owl hanging along it, rest assured, the memory of how we first met almost a year ago, last year, came rushing.

‘Hey that’s cool.’

I said to them, Bob and Adam. Johan was farther than us, hitting on some brainless girls that were sitting on a bench. Half of their boobs were showing, and their pants, that weren’t like shorts at all to me. They looked like strippers, not because of their attire, but because of the way they reacted to Johan. Johan and Adam were my other closest friends. Three of us were in the school rugby team, with Adam being the captain. Johan, how to say, was more like dick head, huge jerky. Sleeping around was what he adored to do so he didn’t really stick with one girl for a long time. After he had banged them, he left her and told the boys on how hot or uncool the sexes were. He just couldn’t feel the love and heart beating fast with a girl, merely sexual intercourses he confessed.

There was this one particular day, where he admitted that he was gay for a guy, another hot hunk, a friend of us but not really close that I would shower naked in front of him in the school bathroom. We blew him our loudest laughs in history but nervelessly accepting his, twisted desire. But up till this moment, he was as coward as a chimpanzee to admit to him. We only could make snorts whenever that guy was around, to show him our support.

While, Adam, a different case. He was way too over attached with his girlfriend. She wasn’t beautiful or anything, just nice. Maybe her funny and easy going character had made him comfortable with the relationship. She was not the type of girlfriend that easily got jealous too, so unlike Maira. Said he had slept with her when the girl’s parents were away, when we were 15, and kept on continuing the activity until today, he said to us he wanted to marry her one day, and asked us to remind him to do so when the suitable time came. None of my business bro.

My eyes moved, rather in a whirl from the girls’ assets back to the boxes of cool bangles in front of me. I wasn’t really into that kind of stuff, but this one was really cool.

‘Yeah’

Adam raised his eyebrow and headed outside of the shop to Johan, joining.

‘Hey dude, I’m hungry. I’ll meet you guys at the usual place okay, in a minute.’

Bob patted my back. His voice from behind seemed more like ignoring my words, and instructing. He was always like that, and that suited him well for being the president of student council’s club. Another thing about Bob was that he couldn’t bear the temptation of eating, and it grew wilder when he was hungry, or angry. I should have dragged him to join the team with me when I first registered for it as a new transfer student at my age of 14 so he wouldn’t be this, err, plum, not the big one, just, sort of.

I did the same as what he did to me, ignoring. As I looked through all the collections of all the ‘coolyoes’, alone, my eyes all of the sudden landed and sat tranquilly at a girl’s face. For a moment, I didn’t blink and my heart raced, not fast, just nice. I smiled at her and she replied back. She had two dimples on her cheeks and they were deepened as she smiled, making her face way sweeter. I nodded a bit and run my eyes off of her and walked towards my ‘excited’ friends.

Telling them to cut it all already, I turned back to her, and noticed she was still looking at me, and quickly looked away. I couldn’t really see her expression, whether she was blushing or what, because I was long sighted, and I didn’t admit it. I didn’t wear any glasses as it looked nerdy on me nor any contacts, my eyes just couldn’t accept pointy things poking into them.

Well, she was just a fling. Maira was for real.

Tomorrow morning, I was shocked with her introduction in front of the Biology class. I easily forgot faces, even it was as beautiful as angel, but this one particular girl, I couldn’t really tell. Her face kept wondering my mind the night before, after I met her, dancing all around the dark ceiling. My head was imagining sweet voices that could fit the sweet face of hers and I promised, one did match.

I shove that naughty intention again, thinking how could I ever done something that would make tears run down my boo’s flawless cheeks.

Later that evening, I frayed my elbow when I got friction with the ground during a rugby selection to replace some faggot who had just left school because of his issue. I was hit by Adam from my back, accidently he said yet he smiled very teasingly when I made my way to clean it up, rather in toilet than being bandaged by a moron slutty girl who had just became the new assistant of our team couch. I didn’t really see the reason he needed one though. I waved Adam my middle finger and mouthed, ‘watch out’.

Jogging, I bumped with Sara, kind of cliché, yet that happened. We officially said hi to each other, and she was terribly worried seeing my small cut and helped me out. She handled my hand very gentle that I felt like a baby. We spent time chatting at the corner of the back one of the classrooms’ building, getting to know each other better after that instead of me going back to field. I noticed, she kept on slithering her fingers through her dark brown wavy hair whenever her eyes met mine. Well, it was weird. Didn’t mean so, I dragged her into the group of my fellow best buddies and we stayed friends until now and I kind of forgot about what I first felt of her overtime, just recently it triggered out back.

Few days after the mellifluous chatting, I received the bangle I saw in the shop the other day. She bought it, said,

‘Thought that you liked it.’

Her hand played with her hair again, twisting the end of it with her face laid down after handing it, wrapped in a box. So, she noticed me first.

‘Hi baby!!’

Maira’s face was all over my opened car window.

‘God! You scared me.’

I scolded her.

‘No I don’t.’

She said in an infantile pitch and it annoyed me. Couldn’t she just be mature as, well nobody I suspected.

‘Whatever get in.’

I rolled my eyes, not like a girl for sure, more like a guy who was really bored and jaded with his immature girlfriend.

As she closed the door, I asked her where she wanted to go and answered that she was hungry and didn’t eat anything since her breakfast, apple and a slice of sandwich. Oh my poor baby. I should have been more concerned about her. I felt guilty. I touched her hand on her lap and brushed it softly before taking it to my mouth and kissed it. Didn’t really sure for what kind of reason, I said

‘I’m sorry.’

And continued.

‘We’ll go to your favourite restaurant okay? Eat as much as you want. I love chubby girls.’

I chuckled in teasing. I didn’t really mean so though. Maira, her body was just nice, was just perfect, but, if she got chubbier, it was luscious to squeeze, wasn’t it. Well, it was kind of pervert to think of women that way. But it wasn’t wrong too, yes?

‘I’m sorry, you’re sorry, for what?’

She asked instead. Was she trying to imply that I had done something wrong, but didn’t want to admit and felt guilty and said sorry?

God, this girl, was really driving me nuts. She just liked it to create arguments when it needed not to.

‘I’m sorry that my poor little baby here…’

Pinching her cheek balmily,

‘…didn’t eat all day long, waiting for her charming boyfriend to spoon her until she was full and become lazy as sloth.’

‘Ouch, it hurts…’

She said adorably. Taking my hand off of her cheek and held it in her palms tightly, seeking for heat.

‘I’m not sloth. You’re.’

She added.

‘Well, I’m not as slow as you for sure.. boo’

I made childish voice as well, kind of. I guessed her childish behaviour just became contagious sometimes. I couldn’t help it.

With my hand in her grip, I had no choice but to meter down the cooler in the car using the other then demanded her to return it for I needed it for the driving. Hands free, I grabbed my jacket at the back seat, and covered her and pecked her forehead. She couldn’t die here freezing and I wasn’t that cruel to ever let that happened.

*************************************************************************************************

‘My last game is the day after. You will come right? It’s final.’

I reminded about her promise.

‘Oh yes of course. I will.’

She seemed busy with her dessert. If I wasn’t mistaken, she had eaten that cake for, every single time we came here, which was countless of it, but she didn’t feel bored at all.

‘Urmm this is the best. Very delicious. You want some?’

She showed me her spoon with some small piece of chocolate cake on it.

‘No thank you honey.’

I rejected. I was full already with the main course. Plus, I was not really fond of cakes.

‘And, you know I don’t eat cakes right.’

I said, more like testing. She wasn’t like some other female friends of mine, they remembered every little detail about their partners, what they did and didn’t like and memorized all the important dates of their relationship. Well this girl in front of me, she was just helpless, clueless. I was the one who reminded her of the dates of us first meeting, of me first proposing, of me second time proposing and of us, officially announced as boyfriend and girlfriend, every single time in this almost two years of dating, every single time whenever I told her that my friends were celebrating their dates of dating, she would ask.

I didn’t know who was being the girl and the opposite now.

Her caller ringtone suddenly played through her flipped phone, our song, the song I first sang to her accompanied by my acoustic guitar with a sore throat after a terrible fever for a week yet bearable to ear, my ears. She was sulking because I ignored her and didn’t call her at all. Well, she deserved to, I didn’t tell her that I was sick. I just didn’t want her to worry but it turned out, disaster.

She ignored it. Perhaps, it was an unknown number. Well, she didn’t do it before. Maybe adapting with my style, she copied it.

The call ended and few seconds later, it rang again. I gestured my head to her phone on the table, instructing her to pick it up already. Such a noise.

‘Hello?’

Her voice sounded, careful. It was obvious, my guess was right, some unknown random number.

She kept on silent before continuing.

‘Nick? Like, Nick Hudson?’

‘Hey Nick…..’

She sounded so happy.

‘Maria? Where did you meet him anyway?’

She paused there, listening to whomever on the line now.

‘Oh, you are such a kind and friendly person aren’t you?’

She giggled. I wasn’t the jealous type of person yet hearing her praising some other guy, it was kind of raising the curious cat of me.

‘Anyway it’s good that you had known her. You guys must get along very well soon, trust me.’

She laughed genuinely.

‘She likes Londoners. Anyway, I’m really sorry. I forgot to call you back.’

‘Sure, of course we can text.’

Paused.

‘Well, I’m outside now, may be later?

‘Yeah, a friend, just hanging out.’

She tittered, looking at me and smiled. I raised my eyebrow and grinned.

‘Okay. Thank you very much for your concern, it’s okay, we’ve known each other for years.’

‘Bye Nick. See you in school tomorrow.’

She pressed some button, indicating that she had ended the call.

‘Mind to tell me who’s this Nick guy?’

I asked, not very demanding still, a question in hope for an answer.

She took a deep breath, and smiled before telling me about this new guy at her school. I didn’t feel challenged or doubt. Well, I believe in her, hoping that she could do the same.

Current

Maira’s POV

‘Have you forgotten? I told you about him, once.’

I made a face expression, smirking. He could be forgetful sometimes. Huh.

‘You did?’

He asked in disbelieve.

‘Yup I did. He’s a new transfer student. We are, friends.’

I explained.

‘You have guy friend? It’s, so not you baby.’

He came out with a statement that was really discouraging with a sarcastic smile.

‘Huh.’

I rolled my eyes.

‘Well, I do now.’

I stuck out my tongue over his face. He half smiled. He often did that to me recently, I just couldn’t read it yet, what that mean.

‘But, at least you have made, some, progression. Don’t just cling with me, or Maria. Don’t, just keep on being, introvert, okay honey.’

His fingers slithered my fringe, obliquely to the right together with his sweet gaze.

I pouted, making attempt to sulk, but I knew he would tune it out so I cancelled my intention.

‘Hmmm’

I pouted even more.

‘Okay.’

With a low and surrendering voice, I agreed. He always asked me to do this, and that, like he was my boss. Well, I felt like I was being baby sit every time he nagged, babbled or came out with his philosophies and outlooks, but it was always right and I really envied him for that. His point of views, they were always different, smart and made sense every time.

‘Any way, have you thought about college? What course you want to take?’

He asked about future, all of the sudden and went to his study table for a lean, with his hand busy typing on his iPhone, the same model as mine. He bought it together, for a cute couple, he once said. I refused but he insisted.

‘Em well..’

I didn’t really like to talk about future and planning. I was the worst life planner ever lived.

‘I, don’t, know.’

I shrugged. The fact was true. I hadn’t decided anything yet, what I want to take as my major course in college, the money to earn for the cost of living and bundles of fees to pay, maybe a part time job after graduating from school was a good start before applying for higher education, and most of all, what I really wanted to be. What kind of profession that could fit my personality well. Even if I wanted to continue my study, what was my best option that could suit with the qualification of my school end results anyway? I wasn’t smart, quite a numb head with low IQ. But don’t get me wrong, I did tried hard for my study, and Ben kept on pushing me and supporting me from my back, it was just, the Cs and Bs seemed to like me better.

‘Can’t I just, drop all this study thing?’

I voiced out in a very timid intonation with a cute face and faked smile.

He hurriedly made his stare at me.

‘No. You will make yourself selected in one of the Us here, or anywhere. I will help you out if money is your concern.’

It was so kind of him but I had my own pride. I couldn’t take all he gave to me. I wasn’t his mistress.

I inhaled and exhaled quite loudly, making a sound more like a sigh. A huge sigh full of uncertainties and scares.

‘No honey, it’s okay. You’ve helped me much. Well, I can find a job after this. Saving up some money before entering college. Better late than never.’

I assured him. He looked at me with an unpredictable expression and shook his head lightly.

‘You’ve always got my back baby. Don’t worry about anything. Just concentrate on your final exam okay.’

He paused for a while, replying his text and continued.

‘Next week, my school is giving three days off for our batch, and replace it for a camp, preparation for the big exam. Five days in total, including weekend. I’m going..’

‘Noo.. don’t go, please?…’ I said and I really felt like crying. He was always like that, leaving me behind.

‘Well, I have to. It’s set, for all of us. Look, it’s just for, couples of days..?’

He walked to the bed, and sat back at his previous place, next to me. He cupped my face and kissed me again all over my face, my eyes, my nose, my cheeks and ended with a French kiss on my lips. We had never kissed before until last night, and it tasted, really good. Felt like my mouth was wandering and cruising down in a wonderful land of mint. I loved the guy in front of me now. Besides my sister and Maria, he was another person that I loved the most in my whole life, I would die for, and it worth every sacrifice.

Sliding his warm hand over my thigh while the other pulled the towel off, revealing my boobs while forming naughty smile in between the kisses, I knew he wanted more.

‘Trust me, I wont leave you forever.’

And I trusted him.

0 notes