#(not that i dont enjoy reading fanfic cos i do and consider it my main hobby but i cant /only/ read fanfic

[aziraphaleandcrowley]

Finally took a walk down to the fields like I’ve been talking about doing for more months than I’d like to admit to considering the field is literally two mins away from my house...

Hopefully this is the first step for me in not spending whole days in bed when I’m not at work...🤞

It’s nice just to get out of the house and try to quiet my mind for a bit. Plus I can get good photos too. This is my favourite of today 🤗

[queen-mabs-revenge]

I agree with the critical post you reblogged but i dont get what you mean by their pasts are being obliterated? The virignal coding of emma?

This took a while, but I really wanted to think about it,and it’s still messy and vague, so be ye warned. To be honest, this reply got backspaced a load of differenttimes because you got me really considering the depths of why I feel this way.

My immediate answer was that what I see (in this whole 6B arcespecially) is Killian Jones, previously defined by his previous role of command,the things he holds sentimental and dear, his visual cues, and his familial ties havingall that tucked away or dismissed in favour of neutralising his threatening (in many ways) past and defining his happy ending as becoming Emma 2.0: Storybrooke deputy.

With Emma, it’s less striking, because it’s Killian that’s assimilatingto her world, but it’s there, too, but more subtly? Emma whose points of prideare her ability to find people and to read people having those thingsneutralised to allow for plot to move forward in a suitably dramatic fashion (see: not reading Killian at all and not looking for him when he was missing)?

That rankles me, but that’s not really an answer, I don’tthink. Why does that rankle me? Whydo I feel so bone-deep that these things that I see being swallowed by thenarration are something that the characters hold as dear as I do? Maybe they’reOK letting these things go as they evolve into their new lives happily everafter?

But that’s the thing. That’s the reason why. I just postedthis bit earlier because it kind of hit me like a ton of bricks: the reason why the “happyending” we’re getting for these characters feels strange and ill-fitting to me,is because I’m trying to define their happy endings by what I’ve actually seenthem happy about on the show, not just what makes them not sad/stressed/angry, and I’m not seeing those very, very, few things reflected at all in what we’re getting.

I think one of the problem this show has, is thatit doesn’t really do a great job of establishing sources of joy for its main characters.Supporting characters are often given a passion that exists as the key tosolving a dilemma: Merida has her archery, Ariel has her collections, and eventhough she’s more than a bit role, Belle has her books. Hell, Henry has hismusic, movies and writing, and Regina has her horses. We’ve seen these characters light up like Christmas trees when talking about these things. I can pictureAriel as a museum curator in a heartbeat because I know that tending a collection is something thatmakes her little merheart sing (free AU prompt! Omg come on that would beadorable!)

So what is it for Emma and Killian? When do we see themexcited and happy about things? When do they describe their pleasure?

Not fucking much, tbh.

(haha my long winded ass continues below the cut!)

For Killian, what immediately jumps to mind is him describingthe concept of what he does as a pirate to Milah in 5.14: sailing where onewill and answering to no crown – he gets all excited and scoots forward as hedescribes the foreign lands he’s been to – travelling and discovery and thefreedom to do so make him happy. His ship makes him happy – the face on himwhen walks into it after Ursula gets it back for him? I mean, come on. He takespride in his competence as a “hell of a captain”. He’s got like a friggin loveaffair going on with the ocean and “the full moon on the waves” and whateverelse.

Obviously Emma makes him happy, Henry makes him happy, beinga part of the family makes him happy – but outside of others, those are hiscanon-established kicks.

Emma is a bit more difficult for me. We’ve got her foodpreferences down pat. She takes fierce pride in her independence and ability tobuild herself up in any situation – “this is who I am”. We see her littlegleeful grin when asserting that “Emma Swan always gets her man” because she’sgood at searching, knowing what to look for, and bending the rules to do so. Her‘superpower’ give her confidence. We’ve gotten hints that she’s taken joy inartistic things before, but only those hints of her art portfolio Ingrid keptand we didn’t hear her actually react to it other than what was relevant to theproblem at hand. We know she likes to read Harry Potter and that it made herhappy growing up. Maybe she likes filming things?

And again, obviously she’s happy when she’s with her son,her parents, her friends and her boyfriend.

But that’s it. That’s what we have to go on? So I’m rankledthat it seems that the only things that are established asgiving Killian pleasure outside of people, are being dismissed as his past life, and not only not relevant to hishappy ending, but the shedding of those things being set up as the final stage of his redemption arc. But beyond that, thiswhole exercise has made me really contemplate why this happy ending plot feelsso empty for the both of them, IMO…

And it’s because, jeez, that’s all we have to go on to suss out what makes them happy? What’s their motivation beyond not dying this week and smiling at each other?

(When people ask for domestic moments, I really feel likethis is the crux of what they’re asking for – a scene of them at home watching Netflix might give an idea of something that Emma’s developed a little obsession for. A hint that maybe she’s picked up painting again because it’s something she genuinely enjoys as a person? A scene of them chilling on his ship might have her interrupting him duringsome kind of fucking hobby of his that literally doesn’t have to be explained,but by virtue of being there would have a rounding effect. Other shows do this. Fanfic does this. It’s not a far-out concept.)

We have so damned little about what gives these charactersjoy, because every second is jam packed with Another Fucking Baddie – and Ithink that they realised that as they were coming up to this possible end of aseries. When you harp on and on about A HAPPY ENDING for so long, but put sovery little into establishing what happiness is other than…not being separated?Not being attacked? Not being…dead? Destined to die? What the hell do you dofor your characters to give them their personalised happiness when they don’thave a damned hobby or interest (or when you dismiss that interest)?

And the answer is that you can’t. So you have to give them apre-fab, super co-dependent happy ending that has mass-market appeal. Hence Socially TraditionalMarriage Beats In A 10 Episode Arc! Complete With Parent-zillas! And StockWedding/Engagement Imagery! Very-Important-Bc We-Tell-You-It-Is Location!Someone Else’s Dress! Standard Suit in Super Edgy Velvet! And then riding offin to the sunset as job twinsies, forever and ever. Cute times. But again, ifeverything about what makes Killian happy is to be cut out of his life in orderto justify his redemption, what the hell else is there for him to do in townbut to be pushed into the hero mould to the final degree by making him join thesheriff’s office?

(To be completely honest, I’m skirting the virginal codingquestion because I need to think about it more, and because this is hella longalready, but I think there’s been more of a push in that direction to get Emma,established as non-traditional, to fit this traditional storyline. Same withKillian. But again, I haven’t really thought this one through so I’m notprepared to get super in depth on it.)

So yeah, conclusion? TL;DR? I think that this happy endingseems pastede on yey because 

we don’t really know what makes these peopleindividually happy and so a stock happy ending is as good as it’s going to get 

what little information we do have about what give them joy has beenaxed as them ‘shedding their old, stunted selves’.

[rosepetals-in-thewind]

A L L

oh my god lol

1. First console you’ve ever owned? gamecube2. First game you played? ocarina of time3. Favorite childhood game? this barbie secret agent game for gameboy advance

4. Longest consecutive hours you’ve played a game? man i have no idea, if im marathoning i dont pay attention to the time

5. Game with the best soundtrack? skyrim6. An underrated game from within the last few years? child of light7. Most disappointing game you’ve played? there was this one indie game that was pretty sad that i dont remember the name of

8. The game with the best atmosphere/scenery? child of light9. Last game you played? overwatch10. Prefer PC or console? i like both honestly11. Have you written any fanfic or made any fanart? yea but not as much12. Most bizarre game you’ve ever played? art of transhumanism, its on itchio13. Scariest game you’ve played? scp containment breach 14. Do you watch playthroughs online? yea when im stuck or want to see if its good or not, or if i dont have the console to play it

15. Favorite animal in a video game? love epona from loz16. The best year in gaming you’ve experienced? i guess this one since i got a computer that i could game on

17. Have a video game themed background or lockscreen? yea i have sheik on my phone

18. Worst game you’ve played? definitely that one game from itchio19. Hardest game you’ve ever played? there was this fashion design game i had for ds and the final challenge was fuckin impossible

20. Favorite publisher and/or developer? nintendo21. If you had to play one game for the rest of your life, what would it be? probably either overwatch cause theres always new content or some mmo like black desert

22. If you could turn one game into movie, which would it be? portal23. Favorite genre of video game? adventure rpg24. Ever cried because of a video game? Which one(s)? yesssss so many games with feels

25. Proudest accomplishment in gaming? always nice to get a bunch of headshots in a row as widowmaker

26. How often do you play online? Co-op? lot more often now that i play overwatch and gmod with my friends

27. Have you gotten any friends into gaming? yea i dragged jess into indie gaming with an otome i love

28. Who got YOU into gaming? my brother when i was really young29. Watch cutscenes or skip them? watch them30. On average, how long does it take you in the character creation screen? so long i love making characters

31. Game with the best theme song? fuuuuck i dont knoww theres so many good ones

32. Do you cosplay? hell fucking yea all the time33. Favorite female npc? Morrigan from dragon age is bae34. Favorite male npc? can i say sheik from oot? cause technically he was originally a guy until they started changing it

35. Best protagonist? hawke from da236. Best antagonist? shadow empress from aragami37. Ever been made fun of for playing video games? nope i dont bring it up unless i know the person likes games

38. Have you tried a game, hated it, then tried again, and loved it? nope i scope out games before i play them and if i dont like it i dont go back and play it again

39. Do you play for achievements/trophies? eh not really40. Favorite voice actor? fuuuuu there are too many good ones 41. Gone to a midnight release before? nope42. A game you will never forget (in a bad OR good way)? ocarina of time43. Favorite sidekick or companion? midna from twilight princess44. Do graphics matter? depends on the game but usually yes45. Do you like funny or more serious games? usually more serious46. Always, sometimes, or never use subtitles? sometimes, again depends on the game

47. First person or Third person? i prefer third but first is cool too48. A game you’ve always wanted to play but have never gotten to it? i need to play mass effect yo i just havent had the time

49. A game you haven’t played in forever, but want to replay? could always go for another round of ocarina of time, or any zelda game really50. How many games to do you own? so many.. so so many51. First character you’ve had a crush on? link from oot hands down52. A game you will always stand behind, and support no matter what? oot53. Your most immersive game? mirror’s edge probably54. A sequel you really want? give me portal 3 or another dragon age thats actually good

55. How much time, on average, do you play in a week? at least two hours a day like im gaming all the time its kinda ridiculous tbh

56. Do you tell people irl that you play video games? yea if i know they enjoy them or it comes up and im feelin in an idgaf mood

57. What is an overrated game you’ve played? i played like 2 rounds of league and ugh its awful

58. Ever have someone walk in on a sex scene between you and you LI? i dont think so…

59. A game you are looking forward to this year? breath of the wild holy fuck60. The game you are best at? ssx3 come at me i’ll beat your ass 61. A game you know everything about? i know the lore of almost every game i play because i find it really interesting. so there are several games i know everything about

62. Would you want to work with video games when you are older? yeS let me work on them in a couple months when i graduate and need a job

63. What’s a game that has inspired you? there are a lot that have inspired me tbh

64. Describe your favorite video game using only three words? aaaaa i dont have a favorite

65. Any favorite screenshots of games? well theres this from one overwatch game:

66. Game with the yummiest looking food? there was this one flash game i played that you made food and it looked really good

67. Most violent game you’ve played? hard to say really68. An older game that you’ve just recently gotten into? you could consider gary’s mod older

69. Your first LI? uuu i guess its sam from seduce me the otome70. Do you play any mobile games? mystic messenger and pokemon go71. A game you can’t stop talking/thinking about at the moment? overwatch lol72. Have any guilty pleasure games? theres several lol73. A game with the best fandom? honestly the michaela laws games’ fandom is great

74. Which game has the best lore? not teeechnically a video game but shadowrun. theres so fucking much and its all really interesting. i spent an hour reading about seattle alone holy shit75. Do you focus on main storyline/quest or do sidequests first? sidequests i get distracted lol