#(not that having a fucked up tooth is normal)
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Santa's Secret
written for @steddieholidaydrabbles day 23
prompt: hot chocolate | rated G | wc: 998 | tags: Eddie & Wayne Munson, single dad Steve Harrington
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | AO3 (+bonus epilogue)
Eddie can’t wait to get out of the suit that’s been suffocating him for the past three hours. He’s still sweaty and his hair is a mess after wearing the wig and fake beard combo for so long but he feels better once he’s changed back into his regular clothes.
Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, Eddie stops for a moment. He looked so different dressed as Santa, could’ve been fooled by his own reflection wearing that costume. There’s no way Steve actually realised it’s him. Maybe what Eddie thought he saw in Steve’s eyes wasn’t recognition, but confusion.
They haven’t seen each other in years and apart from that, it’s not like they’ve ever been… close. Sure, Steve probably knew of him – they’ve both been somewhat popular in high school, although for very different reasons. But still. It was silly of Eddie to think the smile he gave him was one of familiarity. More realistically, it was just a silent thanks for how he handled the little girl’s nervousness, brought a smile to her face by playing into her childlike wonder.
And that’s okay.
In the end, Eddie did have a great time pretending to be Santa for a while. He’ll never tell Wayne, though, unless he wants to hear his old man tell him ‘I told you so‘.
With his shift done, Eddie strolls around the still brimming main hall of the community centre, looking at a stand with wooden figurines where a beautifully carved dragon caught his eyes.
He’s so fascinated by it, that he doesn’t notice the person coming up to him, until a hand taps his shoulder lightly.
When he spins around, he finds Steve standing next to him.
“So, what brings you back to this shithole?“ he asks through a laugh, casual, like it’s normal for the former King and King of Freaks to have a conversation.
“I, uh,“ Eddie stammers, staring at Steve a little star struck and maybe a little more in love because there’s that smile again and it’s blinding like the fucking sun and this time, he doesn’t have the Santa suit to blame for the fucking heat spreading in his face.
God, grow up Munson. You’re an adult. Behave like one.
“I’m visiting my uncle.“
“How is Wayne? I was a bit worried when I realised that-“ Steve leans closer to whisper in his ear and Eddie’s heart stops for a moment. “-Santa sent someone else to cover for him.“
There are a million thoughts running through Eddie’s mind – since when are Steve and Wayne on first name basis? So Steve did recognise him? And why’s it so fucking hot in here?
“You were great, by the way. I’d have lost it at some of the parents. They can be worse than their spoiled little brats sometimes.“
Eddie chuckles nervously, shrugs his shoulders and waves a hand at Steve who moves back slowly but stays close, so close Eddie catches a hint of his cologne, mingling with the Christmassy smell of oranges, and cinnamon, and apple tea, and it makes him dizzy but not in a bad way.
“Robbie wouldn’t shut up about Santa,“ Steve winks at him, “said he’s the coolest, even cooler than the tooth fairy. And let me tell you, that’s a real compliment.“
They both laugh and it feels so light and freeing; Steve makes it seem so easy to fall into conversation with him.
“She’s a sweet kid and she loves you a lot, I can tell.“
Loves you so much she’s wasting her Christmas wish on your happiness, Eddie thinks fondly, biting his tongue not to accidentally spill their little secret.
“Yeah, well. She doesn’t have much choice. She’s stuck with me, since her mother decided to-“
“Dad!“ a voice calls from somewhere behind them and when they turn, they see Robbie running up at them.
“Speaking of the Devil,“ Steve sighs amused before opening his arms to catch her.
“Who’s your friend?“
“This is Eddie. We’ve been to school together. He’s grandpa Wayne’s nephew.“
Grandpa W-hat?
Eddie must be having a stroke. Or maybe something’s wrong with his hearing because… WHAT?
Steve must realise something when he notices Eddie’s confusion, because he suddenly blushes a deep shade of red and smiles awkwardly at him.
“S-sorry, I thought you knew that, uh-“ Steve takes a deep breath before he continues, “Your uncle has been helping me out a lot when I moved back to Hawkins a few months ago. You know, uh, setting up the house and watching Robbie when I had to go to interviews and couldn’t find a babysitter. He, uh, he’s been a real help. Robbie’s obsessed with him. Aren’t you, baby?“
“He’s awesome! And he makes the best hot chocolate in the world! With little marshmallows and sprinkles on top!“
Eddie feels like he’s been hit by a truck, feels betrayed by the man he’s been looking up to his whole life.
Wayne Munson, you son of a potato farmer, are living a secret life where Steve’s daughter calls you grandpa?
Oh, Eddie’s going to have a field day confronting him with that.
“Right?! The best hot chocolate ever! I always have mine with whipped cream on top,“ Eddie answers equally enthusiastic, doesn’t even have to pretend despite his inner turmoil because that little girl’s smile is infectious.
While listening to Robbie’s happy babbling, Eddie watches Steve from the corner of his eyes. He still looks a bit like a kid caught stealing cookies, but slowly relaxes, and that’s good, but-
Wayne definitely has some explaining to do. His uncle has always been a fucking saint, can’t not offer his help when he feels like someone’s in need of it. But it being Steve of all people, really messes with Eddie in a weird way he can’t really explain.
He needs to know more.
“How about we all go to Wayne’s together? I’m sure he’ll be delighted to see you. What do you say?“
#eddie munson#wayne munson#steve harrington#single dad steve#steddie#steddie fic#steddie holiday drabbles
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What do you think the cannon iterators would look like as ancients?
Nice, i wanted to try my hand at that- prolly smth like this? not really happy with Pebs ain't gon lie... dammit my boyo
saying "canon iterators" is always like challenging me to dare and remember Sliver GJDKSLCKL
#Spot says stuff#rain world#rw#i refuse to give Innocence a break. normally? she looks beautiful. what that mean? i have Got to fuck up her hair#fuckin fightin tooth n nail to dodge same face syndrome n figure out hairstyles- i SUCK at hairstyles they are so HARD for me HELL#i wanted to answer more stuff with art today but. -face in hands- fuckin hell nature is stabbin me n demanding the monthly blood sacrifice
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Also the more I think about it, the more I realize I really don't want to lean into anything fluff/gentle/fix-it with Ghost. It's just not inherently his character to me and I just? Don't fuckin care for it. I lose my interest in it so fast and I can't pin why I just know it's not up my alley for him. His journey is not one that gets a happy ending. He's damaged, broken beyond repair, and it's about acknowledging that and learning to live with it. Some things are too late to be repaired. There are other ways to live and still live up to the fullest. There are people with jagged edges that fit his jagged edges. It's bloody and it's rough and that's what he needs. He lives and breathes a bloody and violent existence, he needs someone to slot that back in with.
There are like one or two exceptions I've had to the rule but... I mostly find myself struggling to connect if it goes too mushy with him. Wherein Ghost himself would pull back and push against it. Not want it. Because it's foreign. It's? Disgusting to him in a way. It's not him, it feels like a perversion of what he is. To think he wants that in any way has him curling up his lips, sneering. It's not him.
So I think I might? Lean more into going through that arc and journey with him. His was never a healing story. And it never will be. It's coming to terms. Finding your way around that. Flaws that are cemented, flaws that someone else can work with.
#psa#headcanon / simon ghost riley#idk!#it's personal to me as well so like#yeah#i guess because my own mental health is like? pretty much unfuckingfixable. i won't ever be OKAY or NORMAL.#i don't really feel comfortable being lovey-dovey when i feel the way i do about myself? and that's okay.#there are ways to cope and deal with it. things you can figure out and do that end up healthy for you.#not everyone gets “fixed” and has that tooth rotting ending. i sure as shit don't want that for myself.#just as ghosts muse doesn't want it either.#we were not built for the fairytale bullshit. we were built rough and ragged. let us figure it out and have it our way.#forcing anyone into the “you need this fairytale ending” i think is actually really wrong to do but ayo that's me#anyway yeah#i'm allowed to focus on this. it's okay and healthy to find your own way. if it's not what “normal” people do then whatever.#we're not normal never gonna be so!#we find the least fucked up way to exist and fulfill ourselves and that's okay!
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I was wondering if there are any rare happy ritsu moments in ur zombie au since hes always miserable I think,, like is he always miserable or is he happy/not miserable and feeling kinda good sometimes?
VWHDGDGD NO YEAH OFC HE'S HAPPY SOMETIMES im just horrible and enjoy putting him through misery
ive never been able to get a genuine smile to look right on his face in my art style either i think thats part of it. as ive said his face is just built to be mildly uncomfortable and bothered and i lean into it sm it's starting to get kinda funny
but yes ritsu is happy plenty! i think, canonically, he just seems like the type of person to me that tends to turn lemonade back into lemons. he's easy to scare and his first reaction to things is often Dread and Anxiety. he dwells on the negatives a lot and seems to be a "hope for the best, expect the worst," kinda guy, but there's a section in this post abt shigeo always loving the little things in life, and ritsu steadily learns throughout the journey on how to do that and how healing it can rly be. even if he had to grow up too fast during this whole thing and learn things a kid should never have to, the journey also gave him some good insight and lessons in other places! ritsu is smart, he figures it all out
in terms of little things here n there he's the happiest lil guy on the planet when he finds one of his favorite foods—swings his legs while he sits and munches on a kitkat bar like he's got absolutely nothin in the world to worry abt. sometimes mob does smth funny that he laughs at; for the longest time i've had this silly image in my head of mob accidentally knocking down a bucket from a store shelf and it lands on his head and he just kinda stands there and makes noises.when the noises continue out of pure curiosity about the weird echoey quality it's giving them ritsu cannot help but lose it
besides tiny things tho, when tome comes around ritsu in general is a lot happier, just cuz he has somebody to talk to that will actually respond in some way. they're sorta reluctant partners in crime at first (at least on ritsu's end) but over time and over bonding they grow to rly like each other's presence. they bicker constantly but it's almost always fond eventually, and they shove each other and playfight until mob gets antsy enough to get worked up about it. rly, tome is a godsend to ritsu's mental health—after months and months of being effectively alone with his thoughts, he finally has another person to converse with. a person His Age, too!
tome is rly good at knowing when ritsu is thinkin himself into oblivion and she's Also rly good at being the most annoying girl on the planet to yank him outta that and replace any misery with Oh My God Get Off Me You Freak. she doesn't even do this on purpose at first, but over time she learns how to tell when he's thinking too hard and, ofc, she's grown attached and she cares, so she's as obnoxious as possible to lighten the mood
when they find reigen n teru, ritsu gradually gets Much happier still. now that he knows they're safe and the gang is finally back together (and now that there's an Adult present and he can relax a lil and let himself be taken care of) his stress levels r exponentially lowered. having teru back is another instant lift to his mood—im always a big fan of teru and ritsu friendship, and i think adding tome to their dynamic simply makes it more chaotic. truly a trio of the 3 most normal teenagers in existence which will surely bring nothing but good (reigen sweats offscreen)
actually this makes me feel bad for forever torturing him im gonna go draw happy zau ritsus brb ,.,.ok imback <3
#qktalks#anon#zombie au#tw guns#<- for that glock in the corner . sorry#actually it looks like he's at gunpoint in that one and just going teehee about it#he looooooves tormenting tome .and tome loves tormenting him. it's their favorite pastimes#i don't rly like the second one too much tbh the sleeves are weird but i think that's just the Nature of how poofy they can get#oh this is a great time to talk abt their dynamic. sorry.this ask isn't abt that.but now it is#so i realize that tome and ritsu ??? don't rly interact in canon at all. and neither do tome and teru . as a matter of fact#but consider. uhm.what ifthey did <3 GVYIEAV#like i said they're all So incredibly normal it'll make for a great time#^ genuinely i do think so actually. most of the time anyway#i touched on it a lil bit in recondite but i rly like the idea of mob ritsu tome and teru all being a friend group#teru would undoubtedly piss tome off sometimes she'd call him out on his bullshit#but like.in terms of the canon timeline i think post-mob teru would Totally listen to her#and take what she says abt How he is into consideration. he's trying to rebuild himself into somebody better#teru and ritsu already have a dynamic in canon but it feels pretty loose and it isn't fully explored at all#i think they work together rly well tho. there's no real evidence to the contrary iirc i think they work together in canon quite well#they think alike in terms of fighting#and in a setting like this‚ once teru is on the same page as ritsu on zombies‚ they're prolly a pretty damn good team#there's a lot of room for things to go wrong tho#if i had to sum it up rly succinctly it'd be: ritsu's motive is fear‚ tome's motive is curiosity‚ and teru's motive is power#what i mean by teru's being power is Not the pre-mob teru ''wanting'' to be powerful and unstoppable#i mean teru wants to have power over everything that is trying to hurt them#he doesn't Want to cower he wants to Fight tooth and nail#and i think ritsu's fear versus tome's curiosity and teru's drive of power conflicts a lot#ritsu is passive in the sense that he'll do anything in his power to avoid altercations with anything to order to keep mob safe#he isn't Active until something goes Wrong. and usually things go Wrong when teru and tome rush ahead#WOW sorry i went on a rant that was Completely unrelated to the fucking question. im at the 30 tag limit bye
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personal vent time!
i HATE this fucking post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#yeah no sugar addiction does exist. hate to break it to you#and thank actual fucking god they didnt say that in the meeting!#you know how i know? it runs in my family. im on medication from my doctor to help reign the addictive tendencies that run in my family#my aunt has to go to meetings like anyone else would for alcohol and is 20 years off eating sugar (added) because it ruined her life!#crazy!#anyway! shut up please!#no sugar is not evil#no an increased craving or having a sweet tooth does not indicate addiction#but it sure does exist!#it can be detrimental just like alcohol can!#i live with seeing my fathers side of the family still picking their lives up because of addictive tendencies. theres not a single one of m#aunts/uncles/dad who doesnt struggle#idk it literally makes m just. shake every time i see this fucking thing#its true in som cases but saying sugar addiction isnt real in the processed form we're given it??#okay anyway im normal now i just. rhrjhf#vent
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NO OMG I FUCKED UP ANOTHER TOOTH BC OF MY PEPPERMINTS AGAIN
#AND I JUST NOTICED TOO#IT HAS A BIG CHIP IN THE SIDE. DUDE. WHAT THE FUCK#i’m not ready for it to start hurting noooo omg i think that’s one of my good teeth too i’ll have to go to the dentist what the fuck#i’m so upset . i hate going to the dentist they are so mean and ruthless and just don’t explain shit no matter how you word the question#and leave you doing the wrong shit for years#but i can’t go through tooth pain for three years straight again i can’t do that again i’ll become even more depressed#i’ll lose whatever self confidence i had left oh my god#oh my god i fucking hate my teeth why can’t they just be NORMAL JESUS CHRIST#i’m not ready to be back in that chair with random men stabbing me and getting mad at me#i’m not ready for the shame at all but i don’t want to risk a heart attack oh my god my stomach hurts so bad#if i could just go back in time and force my mother to force me to brush my teeth so i develop the habit and not have to deal with this +#irreversible bullshit that’s my own fault??? i would do it in a heartbeat oh my god#fuck it why even involve her. i would go back in time and scare my younger self so bad into doing it and i know just how to#but the reason is so embarrassing yeah i fucked up my teeth like last time with the same candy . please don’t mock me#not spiderstuff
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shoutout to antibiotics for existing. holy shit I love being able to not die of stuff that would have killed someone just over a century ago
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#posts made on pain meds#would the infection have killed us if left untreated? who fucking knows! but it was definitely worse than I realised#my face still hurts but I feel significantly better than I did and holy shit I hadn't realised just how swollen it actually was#our gums are actually a relatively normal shape again and the pain is just around the tooth#and not spreading down our neck and around the side of our head like it was before#like it was this sharp electric shock pain going all the way down to our shoulder#I feel a lot less sick now and I am still shaky but I think that's more from overexertion than from the infection#but I think now that it's clearing up I'm starting to process how bad that actually was#also holy shit I've slept so much#we've slept for 15 of the last 24 hours and that wasn't all at once. we've been awake in relatively short bursts#and it's been very disorienting and meant we haven't really done anything and it feels kinda shit#but I guess our body needed the rest?
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(muth being music theory!)
#FUCK IT MY OWN EDITION OF THE ODDLY SPECIFIC POLLS BC THESE ARE FUN#me when i've been obsessed with space/time stuff since i was a KID its more an interest than hyperfixation rn but man.#media with any of those?? i am OBSESSED (star wars rottmnt movie etc etc) like i hyperfixated on dr who for a year in middle school#the skateboard one is so funny. in high school my guard instructor saw me with a friend's pennyboard & immediately said no.#me when i was notoriously clumsy in middle + high school so everyone i knew was like. “this is a bad idea” when i did anything#my first semester of college i bought a longboard off someone then 5months later i turned around & ate SHIT it was so funny in retrospect#anyway fun sage lore i have only ever heavily injured the left side of my body. my knee + elbow and the SAME FUCKING TOOTH. TWICE.#also i have a high pain tolerance. like idk how or when but in middle school it just got Really Strong. me when i injure myself and just#live with it for a year before it becomes a concern and i get told to get an xray (i will live with a fractured knee the rest of my life)#also when i fell off my skateboard and ate shit my first concern was “ah fuck my glasses did i break my nose” and#“nah my elbow isnt broken! my arm is just rly sore from how i landed on it” (readers. it was in fact fractured.)#like i literally went “no im fine we dont need to tell my mom or go to the er” and my friends said “call your mom and go to the er”#me spitting out my tooth and blood bc i also busted my lip: that hurt. time to hobble back to my dorm.#anyway hiding this one in the tags bc i will never not just ignore my issues LMAO did it with my ptsd dx and i will continue to do it#another incredibly hyperspecific thing: oh this doesnt seem normal! im gonna ignore it and hope it goes away#these symptoms match up to something? nah i'm sure it's not that! (proceeds to get dx'd with ptsd five months later)
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i have been thinking about that ‘give your oc a kink’ post for days. because i think even would have a thing for hypnosis. yes, yes, for character reasons of overwhelming feelings of impending failure that make the idea of having the ability to choose anything at all be taken out of their hands look extremely appealing. but also because it would be so fucking funny in the worse timeline. imagine you get stuck in time hell with a guy whose whole thing is hypnotizing people, and u hate him. u hate him so. so much.
#i never let them just have a nice relaxing time huh#even just wants someone to take over their brain for a bit so they arent filled with insane amounts of stress about fucking up.#and no one around them will help out for silly reasons like ‘this is a bad coping mechanism’ and ‘having free will is important’ and#‘controlling someone’s mind is invasive’#except for this one asshole. and they don’t even like him.#i cannot emphasize enough how much the core of this timeline is that even and the master do not fucking like each other. at all.#but the thing is: time bubble.#even can’t reasonably expect to survive on their own. and the master gets his kicks out of watching one of the doctor’s companions get Worse#when circumstances force their hand. and also its helpful to have a spare to be able to throw into pits before you jump in yourself to see#how deep they are.#something even is aware of. and on some level finds easier than their relationship with the doctor. there’s security in knowing someone will#destroy you. in choosing them to do it. or at least telling yourself that you had a choice when you picked them.#<3 healthy and normal relationship.#i got off topic this was about hypnosis. anyway the point of that was that its one thing to give a guy your death and another to (willingly)#let him fuck around in your head. no matter how appealing it looks some days.#and let me tell you: even’s had some days.#endgame for even getting out of this. (if they do. i haven’t decided.) but the endgame is someone on the surface whose face the doctor knows#and someone underneath who is a complete stranger. both metaphorically and physically as in: that suicide pill tooth is probably not the#last thing they end up letting the master stick in their body. even is at the end of the day a constant struggle to be a person and not a#reaction to the people around them.#dw oc#and maybe in a nicer timeline they meets river song and find kinky applications for hallucinagenic lipstick. i could let them be happy.#i could. i wont! but i could.
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‘it doesnt hurt ive been through worse’
the ‘worse’ in question: having braces for 5 years and dealing with constant kanker sores
#‘wHy diDnT u uSe tHe wAx’ IT NEVER STUCK IT NEVER WORKED and IT TASTED LIKE SHIT#and now my jaw is fucked up and i had to get a front tooth removed ! but at least i have straight teeth i guess#but yeah fun fact they messed up the movement of my canine coming in and it ended up eating the root of a front side tooth#and they had to take that tooth out and move the canine over in place of it#and they shave the canine down to look like a normal front tooth so now it only looks like i have 3 canines lol#i love telling that story its so dumb HAHA
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My dead tooth broke off today 🙃
#''see a dentist'' I'M FUCKIN TRYING#injury tw#it sort of just gave up actually there wasn't a snap or anything it was like a dead toenail just yeeting itself#it felt a LOT looser than normal#i was paranoid about it even more than usual#last night while I was salt rinsing my mouth and stuff (I don't brush near it it's dangerous) it seemed FAR looser than normal#(not that having a fucked up tooth is normal)#and it kept tilting and getting caught on my lower teeth when I would do literally anything with my mouth incl. checking it with my tongue#there is still some tooth left at the base so the nerve is not exposed... yet... I think#there's the dark pink bits where the side of the tooth used to be touching the gum#part of that was already exposed from where the other half disintegrated last year#I had a very close look at what snapped off and it's the remaining part of the tooth above the gumline minus a small part#it didn't even really snap it sort of just disconnected it's quite deteriorated inside and you can see the#boundary between the layers of the tooth and how royally fucked the interior was from the expanding cavity#the remaining chunk doesn't have much discolouration but that's not to lighten the fact that it's BAD that the last piece broke off#I can't brush or chew on it (toothbrush would DEFINITELY have made it worse) and there is some toothpaste and other gunk#but the broken off piece kind of soft inside#I have actually swallowed by accident at least two other pieces that I know of when it first started falling apart#I chewed them#went 'wtf'#and swallowed them without parsing that it might've been that little cavity getting worse#I am RELIEVED that there's still some left and that the root is STILL FUCKING IN THERE#so there's no obvious DIRECT PATH TO MY BLOOD BRAIN BARRIER#(dental infections have the most horrifyingly direct path to both the brain and heart where they SPREAD)
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Got a solid 6 removed in my twenties. God I hope that was all of them.
If so, when? I got all 4 removed at age 16
#tooth gore in the tags a bit#not exactly gore but squicky#so those extra two#are the reason my mouth is so fucked up#bc they grew in#SIDEWAYS#so they pushed all the teeth in my lower jaw together#get your wis teeth looked into early folks#there can be a lot of complications! mine was p mild#you can have a LOT more than 4#and if left alone too long they can cause serious medical issues#i'm not trying to scare you but you NEED to get them checked#i wish id been lucky enough to have them just come in as normal teeth but alas#the small jaw curse
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i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".
it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.
do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.
but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.
do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).
you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.
walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.
no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.
do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."
you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.
there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.
i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.
he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."
#spilled ink#warm up#“why did u tag it warm up” bc i wrote it off the cuff while drinkin coffee lol#btw the 30 dollar buy in for the dog walking is bc they pay the organizer a small pittance so she can#run fb ads and stuff and like she does put in a lot of work i don't mind paying her#but that's exactly what im fucking talking about like.#ppl can't afford to volunteer their time anymore and we all understand it!!! everything costs money for everyone!#like we didn't have to use to say ''do you mind paying me back for the stuff we ate''#we used to be able to afford to feed our friends once in a while!!!
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i need to pull my teeth out so so bad nobody understands
#i like having teeth but i can feel them in their sockets. and it's so uncomfortable#especially my canines which makes sense since they were the fucked up ones in the first place but i would miss them. my canines#dentist voice oh no i think your teeth are fine it's normal that you've been having tooth pain for years. yeah it's normal don't worry.#last time i saw this dentist he asked me if it hurt when he touched my tooth with a tool n i was like yeah and he was like. but it#shouldn't. so it's fine. OKAY BUT IT DOES?#🪼
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Having a flare up that is lasting far longer than it usually does while also knowing I'm going to have a procedure soon is basically a case of going
I just have to make it to Thursday
I just have to make it to Thursday
I just have to make it to Thursday
#holly talks#like thank fuck I even have a hospital date because it's been a year and a half since my referral#and at least 4 years now since I started having these bouts of pain#95% of the time I can go about my day like normal with no pain involved#maybe a moment of soreness if what I'm chewing hits the wrong spot but that only lasts a few seconds#the stupid thing is that I was meant to have this procedure on the 28th#but it got postponed because the doctor couldn't do it for whatever reason#it was only a couple weeks' delay so eh whatever#then right before easter weekend my flare up started#they've only lasted 2-3 days before but this fucker is still tormenting me over a week later#my messed up tooth telling me fuck you one last time#even painkillers are getting less effective the longer this goes on which is really fucking annoying
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#tooth trauma tw#the last shard of my wisdom tooth FINALLY came out#fucker was a whole 6 millimeters long and about 3 millimeters wide; no wonder my tongue was still irritated#i thought it was a stitch that just hadn't dissolved yet but lol nope#must have been one of the pieces that flew all over the place when my tooth broke mid-operation#y'all my mouth feels mostly normal again!#totally gonna have an apple AND a salad tonight#fucking finally#shut up ace
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