#(not related to current events lol - it's for my zine fic)

[saltyyetbland]

I have just posted my fic that I wrote for the Petals of a Rose fanzine on AO3. You can find it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57670000

I have a lot of thoughts about this fic, the zine and the qsmp in general so I'm just going to write it all under the Keep Reading line cause this ramble might be as long as my fic lmao.

When I saw that applications were open for this zine, I initially didn't even consider joining. I liked hideduo but I was definitely out of the fandom by then. I haven't even written anything hideduo specific (I only had like 2 QSMP related fics on AO3 and they were more trauma than romance lmao) so in my head I thought that even if I applied, I wouldn't get selected.

And I guess that mentality ironically is what made me decide to impulse apply during my Marketing class at like 8pm.

And somehow I got accepted.

You can imagine my surprise when I get an email with a discord link saying that I got accepted to be apart of this zine. I joined and then I see a bunch of cool artists and writers that I recognize and my brain immediately goes "oh shit, i should not be here wtf" but thankfully I decided to not be impulsive this time and actually stick with this zine.

And then prompt creation starts and then artists and writer match-ups and then it fully dawned on me that art is going to be created out of my fic. And that was such a complex thought to swallow as I struggled with imposter syndrome yet again (it is what it is lol) and just me trying to grapple with the concept of fan creation as a product of inspiration while being a source of inspiration as well (the fan studies/media nerd in me is jumping out).

And then the sketches and conversations from Kye and Bio started and I was just in awe by their skill and effort that it motivated me to try and write better too.

And then after months of me struggling to write the fic, it was done. I had multiple people look over it including my irl writing group as well as a beta reader (shoutout to skelepen) and I then submitted it to the final submission google form.

There is a clear memory I have in which I am simply working and I just check over at the discord and I see a photo in general chat. It is a snippet of my fic and it is Aynee saying that "damn... this fic got hands" and like 4 other comments from other members of the discord basically saying the same thing. When I tell you that this has almost made me cry at work, I'm not joking cause this was the moment when I truly felt like I contributed enough to the zine.

And now the zine is published and it is 500 pages of pure effort and I feel satisfied with myself but I also feel the looming sense of closure that I know stems from the knowledge that this is the end of my qsmp era.

I've been aware of the qsmp since its inception but I only really got into it during the ice prison event where creators like tubbo, mouse and tina joined. And though i only really lurked in this fandom and occasionally posted, i can still see its effects on me today. I have discovered my ever-growing interest of community building in media and cross-cultural communications and translations. I am currently on a 300+ day streak on Duolingo for Portuguese. I was able to revitalize some of my previous knowledge of French and Korean and actually find joy in learning languages, something that I seriously struggled with when I was younger.

And for that, even though my relationship with the QSMP is now a bit more complicated, I am grateful for it opening my eyes and for allowing me to be a part of it, even in my small amount.

All in all, I am proud that this fic has been created. I am proud of this community that I have been apart of. And even though I am closing this era, it won't be on a bittersweet note like my previous fandoms.

So, thank you.

Thanks to Kye and Bio for creating amazing pieces for my fic, skelepen for beta reading my work, Aynee for creating the zine itself, the POAR discord for being such a cool and fun place and to the larger QSMP community as a whole for being a part of my life.

[the-butler-siblings]

I made a super comprehensive list of all the tags I use here!

(lol I briefly took the hyphens out of my url but then I realized I’d have to edit all my links and I don’t feel like doing that. Also I think it looks better with the hyphens) (I am not currently very active here :/ so this is only accurate for like. A six month period back in 2019 probably. I’m just rbing stuff like once a week now)

Keep in mind that most of these are newer and while I am working my way through my archive to tag them, it’s very tedious. All posts from here on out will be tagged like this though! I’m putting an asterisk* by tags that I’ve only added in the last month or so

—————————————

Categorizing Tags (what kind of a post is it?)

Fanfic and Fanfiction

Art - any post that includes visual art. Also tagged as either digital art or traditional art, and sometimes graphic design (mostly bc the art tag is so fucking long and I felt the need to break it up somehow)

Animation

Cosplay

Video

Audio

Music - playlists, original music, “this song made me think of this character”, etc.

Quizzes

Essays - basically any analytical and semi-structured writing that takes up more than 3/4 of my phone screen.

Conversating - any post with at least two people, resembling a conversation

Incorrect Quotes

(Correct) Quotes

Memes

Exchanges Zines Etc - information, announcements, interest gauging for any community-organized event or project

Liveblogging - any kind of live-blogging, by me or anyone else.

Fic Rec

AF RP - any kind of roleplay

Meta - anything that talks about the books/graphic novels/movie in the context of their worldbuilding, storyline, character development, etc.

Metafandom - y’all are so cool that you get your own tag <3

Subject Tags (who, what, where, when)

Character Tags - I use full names for everyone but Butler, and I use Artemis Fowl II to differentiate from the general fandom tag. (consequently, you can find all my original posts under Artemis Fowl). Any OCs are tagged with OC

A Fowl Bunch - when there’s like, too many characters for me to have the energy to tag them all. I’ll probably only tag the more rarely mentioned characters alongside this.

Book Tags - for when a post references a specific book, or the events of a specific book. I tag the full title, for example: book 5 is The Lost Colony, The Fowl Twins is Fowl Twins Book 1, and Artemis Fowl is Book 1

AF Movie - additionally tagged as either movie crit (wow that movie sucked) or movie pos (neutral to positive about the movie)

Eoin Colfer - pretty much any post that at least mentions him by name

Ship Tags - [commonly used ship name] or [character x character] or [character x oc] (these tags use first names)

The People - when we’re talking about The People as a whole, whether about their culture, government, magic, or anything else. I also tag The LEP for posts about it as an organization.

Tech Design - thoughts about or art portraying the more techy side of the books’ sci-fi content

Public Relations - Artemis Fowl and his friends are a very weird group, and it’s hard to believe that the general public has not noticed this by now

Orientation Headcanons - For posts explicitly indicating a character’s sexual and/or romantic orientation: I tag with [orientation] [character] and [orientation] headcanons

Trans Headcanons - posts with trans/nb headcanons. Tagged with [trans or nb] [character] and [trans or nb] headcanons

Bullying Artemis - sometimes we’re a little mean to him, and that’s ok, because sometimes he sucks <3

Bby Artemis - pre-canon Artemis

Old Artemis - he’s an ADULT now and he has BAD JOINTS

Spartemis (Space Artemis) - he’s in space now and I wasn’t sure how to tag those posts by book

AU or Canon Divergence AU - I also usually tag the more easily named aus like superhero au or role swap au along with these

Crossover (except alexmis to avoid clutter) - tagged with [title of the thing], and [name(s) of character(s)]

Not AF - I post off-topic like three times a year max, but this is just in case. Sometimes I’ll put Alex Rider posts on this blog so they don’t get lost on my main.

Tags For The Blacklist

Blood CW

Eye Strain

Long Post

Wow, that’s a lot! If you notice something missing from any of these lists feel free to let me know!

Also: because I don’t know how to effectively use links and I almost exclusively use mobile, I’m going to reblog this a few times with all these in the tags, in the same order they appear in here

UPDATE: I found out how to link tags so I’m working on that rn

[tangled-cl0wn-core]

Where, besides Tumblr, can people find you doing fannish things? (Obviously only mention sites and usernames you actually want to be found at. Don’t expose your secret identities on my account.)

What other names have you gone by on these platforms, including Tumblr, if any?

When did you join the IT fandom? And what got you into fandom, to begin with?

What are your favorite ships, or characters, if any, and why? What do they mean to you?

In what ways do you participate in fandom? (ex. Posting memes, reblogging/commenting on content, writing fanfic, making fanart, creating fanmixes, etc.)

Do you have any in-fandom inspirations? Other members of the community that drive you? (And if you have the time/energy, in what ways do they inspire you?)

Name and link some of your favorite works, please!

Do you have any works of your own that you feel particularly proud of, or wish more people would’ve consumed? Please provide links if possible.

Have you ever participated in a fannish event (ie. IT Week, a fic Big Bang) or applied to be a part of a fanzine? If so, which ones, and can you please link them?

Without any form of bashing or lashing out, what is something you feel this fandom is missing?

 HI!! since you asked before sending it, I knew this was coming but my First Cool Guy Tumblr Ask is so neat,, anyway!!

This is my only IT-specific account, but I post almost everything I draw on my instagram, https://www.instagram.com/fabricsofteners/ (I don't know how people make links cool on tumblr aaa) I also have an AO3, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangledheadphonecord , where I might post this one really long fic I’m working on (maybe not, as it’s super lame but God am I putting in work)? But mostly it’s just really old stuff atm, and no IT content right now - just some random drabbles from past hyperfixations tbh.

I used to be ‘fabricsofteners’ everywhere besides here - tangledheadphonecord is a username I used for my tumblr because I want a change from the fabricsofteners brand, as I've had it for quite a few years and have just grown kind of bored - just waiting a bit to change my instagram user. I also used to be ‘unbrandedmarkers’ like, three years ago on instagram? but, that era ended fast. I think I might have an old Tumblr under some variation of ‘fabric softener’ but honestly even if anything is up on it I’d probably be embarassed to look at it now.

I watched IT for the first time in 2019, I believe, but wasn’t really in the fandom until actually like, April of this year. I entered the fandom and developed a hyperfixation (sobs) by complete mistake - I read all the fics for michael mell/rich goranski on ao3, and was on a camping trip and wanted to read some Homosexual Fanfiction and literally remembered IT on a whim (rich-to-richie association) and read a bunch of Reddie fics, and it was all down (up?) hill from there.

Unshockingly, I’m sure, Reddie is my number one favourite IT ship. I’m also an enjoyer of Benverly, as well as Stanley/Patty - IT is like, the only fandom where I actually like the canon ships. I do also think Streddie/Stozier is really cute and Bill/Mike (unsure of the shipname?) is nice when I see it!! I think Reddis is cute because I am a total sucker for best-friends-to-lovers, as well asthe  ‘I tease everyone but mostly you’ and the ‘I’m so tired of you bullying me but if you ever stop I’ll cry’ and... just, the entire dynamic that they have. Stanley/Patty - there is no reasoning, I just want Stanley to be happy. Benverly - the way they were each other’s first Meaningful Interactions in so like?? agony, they’re so cute. They both deserve to be happy, and I’m so happy they find that happiness in each other. 

As for characters - Richie is absolutely my favourite. I (unfortunately /hj) kin and relate to him on so many levels it hurts. Having a character that feels that fear of their sexuality because of a horrible environment is painfully real. covering up struggles with humour and all that?? yeah, mood (also, crushing on your best friend-). What he means to me, in a sense, isn’t really canon - I read strictly fix-it fics, because I want to feel that hope that like fanon Richie, I don’t have to hide forever. I can be myself and be happy. Obviously I can’t much look to the movies or anything for that but hey - what’re Andy or Stephen gonna do, tell me to stop reading fics? 

I also really like Stanley!! I don’t,, have a reason. I just think he’s adorable and I love his dynamic with the other Losers a lot. Stanley breathed like, once, and instantly became a comfort character and not even I know why at this point, he just is. Eddie & Bev are up there, too - honestly, Bill is the only Loser I don’t have a strong attachment too. And honestly, he’s growing on me rapidly.

I mostly draw whatever my goblin hyperfixated brain can think of, as well as rebloging just about every post that I see and like (art, jokes, edits, fics, etc.) - I start and stop a lot of fics, maybe one day I’ll finish one but as of yet I have not... Sigh.

I honestly don’t think I do have anyone to tag for inspiration? I follow IT blogs but none I would go to for inspiration (no offense to any mutuals-) inspiration for me is mostly just seeing a pose and going ‘okay’ and suddenly I have a drawing - I have no clue what happens in between.

So, my current all-time favourite IT fic atm is https://archiveofourown.org/works/18213215/chapters/43087232, though I will say it’s a really heavy fic and to read with caution. Going away from Angst, any ‘famous Reddie’ AUs are amazing, but I constantly reread the entire https://archiveofourown.org/series/1560019 series. It’s cute and funny and I THRIVE for domestic Reddie content. 

Actually not Reddie, I throughly enjoyed https://archiveofourown.org/works/23201011 for giving me the Mike content the movies have robbed me of for too long, as well as https://archiveofourown.org/works/25262698 which is pure stanlon greatness and made my heart flutter for the boys more than once.

I don’t really have any IT fics up of my own creation, and honestly my reception in way of Tumblr notes is far better than I expected so honestly, I have none to link lol. As long as I get minimun interaction I will thrive.

I wish I could say I’ve been in anything like a zine or anything, but I have not! I’m relatively new to the fandom (and having a social media dedicated to one thing) so I wouldn’t even know where to begin to join or be qualified for one, y’know? I’ve done art weeks in the past and found them incredibly fun but haven’t seen any for IT - but if anyone does happen to know of any... Feel free to send them my way-

As for the last question - other than like, hyping up Chosen and Jeremy just as much as we do the other IT kids (which, honestly I’m not even sure if is still a problem - I’ve just seen posts about it and it’s made me wary), I’m not sure? I’ve honestly not encountered anything in the fandom I find awful and honestly, for a fandom about a movie that is... Well, IT, I’ve really just kind of enjoyed my time in the fandom thus far?

(I will say we need 200% more attention being drawn to 1990s adult Eddie Kaspbrak, who is one of the most beautiful men I have ever seen - but I also feel that way about James Ransone, so I’m not mad.)

(Also, we should be calling out the 1990s IT more, I watched it recently and it’s so bad /lh)

Anyway!! I feel like this answer was incredibly long and I am so sorry!! But like, thank you so much for asking me anything at all fihabsfhbafb I thrive at any chance to talk about the dumb clown movie. (Also, i’m sorry I say ‘honestly’ so much-)

[castawaytheblood]

Oof, I can relate the OP.

To do some math for everyone, the current exchange value in Venezuela-USA is 4M Bolivars for each dollar. It can, and will, rise as soon as the day ends. That's just how most of us here deal with it.

I've seen some fanbooks (which, let's be real, they are fanbooks/art books, not zines, but y'know) go between 40-80$ in price. That's... A quarter of what I have to pay for my college trimester/half of what I pay for my college trimester. Even worse, that's half/a full shopping cart for a month.

I have... very mixed feelings about what is happening in fandom, in economical areas, ofc. I could make a post about the rest of the issues I see, but yeah, for now, I don't particularly want to on that.

On the one hand, it's... Harder to access zines (I'd basically scour the web seas for a free zine, if it allows it to be, but the majority? pay for them, which is reasonable, to an extent, but I still can't in good conscience understand it). Not only zines, but also fic, bookbinds of fic (some fanbinders do commissions, which does end up making some fic able to survive a purge/more lasting than other fic, simply because the author had more money), anime, videogames, media in general. Netflix was one example, but Crunchyroll, too, is in there. By virtue of not being from the US (or not being able to use a VPN for too long), I miss access to a ton of media, for good or bad.

(please don't take this as if I am blaming people for having money and things, that's definitely NOT what I wanted to convey, lol).

I mentioned before having to pirate... Basically every piece of media I had, and it's completely true, tbh. Since I was a kid I took to piracy to enjoy media. My earliest (and best, let's be real) memories of playing games were when I finally got the game in physical copy, which meant that I could finally play well without risking the loss of memory cards and stuff (it was on my 3DS, tbh).

And this not only extends to videogames, it goes for well, everything. Books, too, I had to pirate. Movies as well. Series, dramas, anything I couldn't (and there were MANY) get my hands on, those things I had to look for on the internet

(ah, those old memories of me having to crawl through 20 google pages, searching for something very, very specific).

IDK, I do wish things were more like the earl(ier) days, though I'm taking a bit of a break in fandom stuff, it'd be nice to see more fests/events that don't involve screeching over which paper dolls people are smushing together. Most of the time, there are events I either a) can't participate bc I'm not in the fandom, b) the event's date is VERY inconvenient for me and my schedule and c) it'd be hard for me (specifically) to participate, because the people involved are most likely going to scream over the stories I've written (though it would be more of a matter of WHICH story I've written that raises hackles).

Ah, well. One day I WILL get to making an event, though let's pray I can get enough strength of will to do it.

Edit: I felt very seen by a certain paragraph, due to IRL political/economical parallel with OP, to wit:

"Given where I was born, I was always told I don’t belong in certain spaces. I am by default not allowed to enter certain countries and spaces without going through lengthy approval processes and without being able to prove I can afford being in that space."

God, do I feel seen in that (there have been a few incidents of hate crimes towards Venezuelans in other Latin American countries, hell, just a day ago my father was attacked for simply being Venezuelan in public).

"To tell me I don’t belong in a place or that I don’t deserve to be in a space based on the place I was born and the currency I earn is casual discrimination in a smaller scale, and one that is not often thought about by the people perpetuating it. And to experience it as bluntly as that above — well, let’s say I have never felt as alienated in an online space than I did about four days ago, but it is an alienation I feel regularly in my real life, especially when I visit the USA."

This also hits me hard because... In online fandom spaces... I do feel that isolation creeping in. Like trying to speak in a common language but no one ever gets to speak back to me, no matter how much I try to talk.

God I had a tear running down my face.

Good stuff.

This kind of hints at the definition of a gift economy without fully going into it. But basically, gift economies are places where “payment” is in intangible social benefits. You buy community membership with your labor/products/kindness/presence. It’s not very compatible with commerce in the same way that offering to pay your grandma for the cookies she baked you is not a friendly or normal way to interact within a family.