#(no hate to any characters bc I actually like them all. it’s just interesting pattern that’s all)

[walkineternity]

Okokok I get Miguel is a bit of an ass, but who is the one that is *really* beefing with a 15 year old?

This fucking guy:

Spot was blaming all his problems on a child before anyone else in this movie lol

[cr4yolaas]

— what do they associate with you? . various bnha x reader

synopsis . headcanons of the little things they associate with you and your relationship.

characters . izuku midoriya, katsuki bakugou, shouta aizawa, momo yaoyorozu, ochaco uraraka

warnings . not proofread

notes . i caught up with the bnha manga. im not okay ☹️ i lowk hate this but i love the idea ugh 😭😭😭

01 . IZUKU MIDORIYA

- whenever he comes across some good-looking stationary (good-looking by your standards, at least), he’s most likely going to give it to you

- doesn’t matter whether he found it on the floor or in a store, you’re getting it !!

- you don’t exactly share the same passion for note taking with him, but he knows you gawk at the cute animal-shaped pens and erasers every time

- so he makes it a priority to get you a pack of cat sticky notes or pink pens when he gets the chance

- between you and me, it’s just an excuse for him to fuel his obsession with taking notes by buying more pens

02 . KATSUKI BAKUGOU

- when you first met, he offhandedly compared you to the rain — one of the many things he genuinely dislikes — because he couldn’t stand you.

- the fact that you’re dating him now is a tell-tale sign his feelings changed quite drastically

- he doesn’t like the rain any less, but whenever the sky turns glum and small droplets make their way to his skin, he can’t help but think of you

- so, when it starts to pour while he’s sitting in his dorm, he decides to send you a picture of the weather from his window

- "thought you might like it" his text reads

- and you do :)

03 . SHOUTA AIZAWA

- he can’t exactly pinpoint why, but when it comes to buying you flavored or scented things, he always chooses berries.

- candles, lip balm, car fresheners, candies, you name it

- berries aren’t exactly his favorite, so it confuses both of you

- regardless, it makes you giggle a little every time you notice it

- but when he starts to notice that berries have become a “trademark” of yours, he starts to enjoy them a little bit more

- his normal 2-in-1 hair wash turns into a matching set of berry-scented shampoo and conditioner from a fancy beauty store

- before you know it, you’re both smelling like berries

04 . MOMO YAOYOROZU

- an oddly specific one, but she can’t help but draw museums back to you

- whether its a history or art exhibit, she makes it a priority to bring you there, which results in a lottt of cute museum dates

- "there’s an art exhibit in the neighboring city this weekend, we can take the train there and visit the cafe next door afterwards!"

- if you’re an artist, that’s absolutely the reason for the connection

- but if your interest lies elsewhere, it’s probably because she likes experiencing the atmosphere of a museum with you

- her favorite pictures of you are ones where you’re admiring something in one of the many exhibits she takes you to

- she probably compliments you like, “the beauty of these paintings don’t compare to you :)”

05 . OCHACO URARAKA

- call her cheesy, but whenever she sees heart shapes, she thinks of you

- will send you a pic of something that just barely resembles a heart out of nowhere, just bc she couldnt help but be reminded of her lover

- this leads to her collecting and buying a bunch of heart shaped items to gift you, ranging from stones, to seashells, to a necklace she found on the floor, to socks with heart patterns

- you never really questioned it and she’s glad bc her reason is cheesy cheesy

- "i mean. . . well, i love you a lot, so i guess it’s just my way of reminding you every now and them without actually saying it?" she’d admit with her face all red when you do ask

- just be prepared for valentines day — she’s going all out 😰😰

[magpod-confessions]

Honestly i wanna hear opinions on season 4, cus im gonna confess i could NOT finish it (didnt move on to season 5 either lol). Got to like ep 135 & i just couldnt tell any of the episodes apart it felt like such a drag; just a slog of misery with some offhand Important 5 Minutes once in a blue moon. I hate repetition & i got the sparknotes from fandom/wiki stuff so yeahhh i just stopped listening; i still love TMA & it’s story & characters, it’s just the execution that got to me RIP

Everything felt kinda forced to me ig? Like there was some shoe-horned “humans are more monstrous than the actual monster” that snuffed S1 Jon’s fun cockiness/jackassery just to make him ? The best one in the archive ??? & all of his wrongdoings are either off-screen or justified by him being tricked into becoming a literal monster against his will (who would STARVE w/o his ‘evil-doings’, which didnt even kill ppl). Also felt like everyone got needlessly dumbed down except for Martin (the Love Interest ofc, who got 180’d from his pre-established incompetency to be some mastermind in a playing field he should have REALLY been inept in) just so they’d be blind to Jon’s situation & be mean to him LMAO

They started trying to make Jon accountable for “choosing this” & i couldnt handle it, held no fucking water to me—the guy being explicitly puppetted & manipulated as the entire plot? That guy is expected to take responsibility here? Felt like some after-thought theme they threw on top of it all. Anyways uhh feel free comment either on what i said and/or your personal thoughts on the season, or nothing if ya got nothing lol

🗣️

Ehh disagree. S4 isnt my fav but I dont think its bad. S1 Jon to s4 jon feels like natural character progression to me. He starts as acting all high and mighty to try hide the fact he has no idea what hes doing and is terrified, and then experiences a lot of ppl dying that he feels is due to him and is his responsibility. At that point his thought pattern is 'I keep messing up and making mistakes and getting myself and everyone around me hurt, so other ppl surely know better'. Hes got a lot of black and white thinking around him, which has been consistent throughout his entire characterization

I dont think any characters were dumbed down either

Melanie was always angry, she only go worse bc she had smth making her think everything she did was justified and when that stopped she became avoidant and stopped lashing out. She was still angry, just managing it better

Basira has always been Daisys no1, the person to justify all of Daisys actions. She knows what daisy did and why its bad but she holds onto the idea that daisy is right in doing so. She blames jon for what he does bc logically she knows its wrong, hurting ppl who havent done anything is wrong, but still excuses daisy bc she needs to. Bc that was a fact of her life and it cannot be wrong. In the unknowning she focuses on facts to keep her grounded and to her 'Daisy is a good person' 'Hurting ppl is wrong' and 'If you hurt ppl you are a bad person' are all facts she needs in her life to stay grounded. How she justifies Daisys actions is by saying that the ppl who daisy hurt were worse and it ultimately helps more ppl to have them gone. Not only can she not do that with Jon, as she believes those he hurts are entirely innocent, she also doesnt care to. Shes not close with Jon and she doesnt have 'Jon is a good person' as a fact in her mind, so she doesnt need to work to excuse his actions. Its all or nothing with her, if you hurt and continue hurting ppl, no matter your reason, you need to stop and the only way you will stop is if you are gone. She also has a lot of black and white thinking, gotta love the autism podcast

Martin being a mastermind in s4 also makes sense bc him being stupid is an act. If ppl think your stupid theyll underestimate you and ultimately leave you alone. They wont scrutinize you, they wont attack every part of you, they will brush it off as just a typical normal thing. It will get you ignored and you cannot be hurt if nobody knows who you are or how to hurt you. Its a lonely miserable existence but its one martins used to. Martin rarely drops the mask of 'Sweet but stupid' bc he needs that to survive and tbh he probably learnt that from needing to survive his mom LOL. Martin just knows and picks the best method of getting ppl to like him, which for him is doing exactly what they want and keeping their expectations low so they wont hurt him as much when they mess up. Honestly in s5 I see him as hes finally got to a place where he doesnt care if everyone hates him, bc he has someone who does and thats all he needs. Hes survived the worst of it and he doesnt care anymore

Part of the reason everyone blames Jon is bc he is there and he is the one who is currently causing the most problems. Also they dont actually see the extent that Jon is manipulated. Elias talks and interacts with Jon differently to how he interacts with others. All of them met Jon when he was already at the institute, they meet him when it does actually look like he made his choice, entirely of his own free will. It doesnt help that daisy is there, someone who completed their transformation like Jon did and turned back on it, and she looks like shes managing well enough. She is surviving without feeding so why cant Jon do the same? Also basira does trust elias on some level. She trusts he knows more than she does and can be an asset if used correctly, which definitely doesnt help things. Also the idea of Elias is locked up, he cant affect Jon anymore so why is Jon still acting this way. Elias has very effectively vilified and isolated jon and jon doesnt fight back against it bc he believes it as well. Other ppl are normally right so why wouldnt everyone be right abt him?

Oh my god that was an essay and I absolutely missed sooo much stuff but idk take that - rosette

i literally have nothing to add . rosette sincerely you are insane and i love that . i honestly don't have a lot of s4 opinions that i could really put down , but i also disagree anon . s4 may not have been the best , but it certainly wasn't Bad or not enjoyable to listen to . coming from someone who has listened to the podcast twice now [ and who is planning on a third relisten ] , i really do enjoy s4 as a whole . martin's buildup and his manipulation of peter lukas is honestly one of my favourite parts , because it has been said that martin was originally going to be apart of the mother of puppets ! this shows that part of martin we didn't get to see but has been there . i got distracted and don't remember what else i was gonna type um . whoops - deceit

[irrealisms]

btw I know I’ve been repeatedly (& pointedly) reblogging void’s post abt ppl hating kab today so. um. here’s some actual take. I know i said i would listen to bacon and complain less but im gonna try to keep this constructive.

it’s not about any individual person who doesn’t like kab or her style of lore. an individual not liking a character or storytelling style is normal and fine and demanding that someone SHOULD like this character and swallow down their emotional reactions or dislike bc shes a WOMAN is also very uncomfortable to me tbh! kab is not in fact one of my favorite characters by any means. in an ideal world life steal would have more women and i’d post about them more but like … there aren’t in fact many women in life.steal & not every character is for everyone & no one is obligated to like a character solely bc she’s a woman, yk? it’s not misogynist to dislike or even complain about female characters (although if you Never like female characters and find a reason to dislike all of them you, uh, should maybe be considering that!)

what makes me uncomfortable is the Pattern. and the Pattern is that women get hit harder & more universally by fandom criticism and hate than men do, without the corresponding positivity and appreciation their male counterparts get. what makes me uncomfortable is when ppl are getting intense abt how much she sucks in the twitch chats of ppl who, ultimately, are her friends ooc. this is all uncomfortable bc it is familiar, i have seen this pattern play out across different fandoms and different characters. it’s not just “this specific person doesn’t like this specific character”. it’s “fandom in general disproportionately dislikes female characters & has a tendency to harass the irl women playing those characters”. esp in spaces as sexist and male-dominated as mc.yt, that makes people justifiably sensitive.

I don’t really have a solution to this; like i said, I’m not interested in forcing people who don’t like a character to like her. (Especially since that doesn’t actually, you know, work.) But… I dunno, be a little nicer, especially places CCs can see (twitch chats especially; also twitter; to a lesser extent tumblr, esp if you’re maintagging or know they follow you)? Tag your neg/crit on tumblr so that ppl who don’t want to see it can just filter it out? (Honestly, this would go a long way for me—part of why I’m so bothered is just how inescapable the negativity is rn!) Think of how you’d feel if people regularly responded this way to lore you really like of your male fave, think about how you’d want them to handle their dislike or frustration, and then just … try to be considerate and fair.

[korkiekenobiconfirmed]

I'm on a roll with the s/j/m hatred tn so I'm going to compile a masterlist of all her shitty lgbt/poc representation and why it sucks booty cheeks. it should be noted that none of this is meant as shade on any of the characters themselves... I actually happen to like quite a lot of them

EDIT: there are some nice additions to this post in the notes you can check out

LGBT rep

Aedion (Bi/Pan)

Literally known as “Adarlan’s Whore” (a nickname that references both his allegiance to the king and his tendency to sleep around)

His only same-sex relationship is with a vaguely-mentioned unnamed lover from the past (it’s not even said straight-up that they’re a man, but I’m assuming they are bc they’re mentioned to be a commander of the Bane)

He’s shown being attracted to women and only women for two and a half books. He���s a womanizer retconned into the slutty bisexual stereotype

His liking men & women is compared to prostitution

It’s insinuated in koa that he slept with an ex while he and Lysandra were fighting (because the cheating bisexual trope is such a new & creative one!)

Helion (Bi/Pan)

He’s always trying to have 4somes with three of the main characters

Realistically he’s probably one of the most powerful/interesting High Lords but this gets sidelined in favor of him flirting with eVeRyOnE

All we really know about him is his name and the fact that he’s a bit of a manwhore… very 2-dimensional

He has an affair & a child with a married woman… just the Slutty/Cheating Bisexual Trope (Volume 2) :/

Mor (Lesbian? Possibly bi?)

She’s never shown in any real relationships (with men or women)

She had tragic off-screen relationship with a mortal queen a few hundred years ago

We get literally no hints that she’s gay throughout the series, she just randomly mentions she likes women at the end of book 3

She gets no happy relationship, she stays closeted to spare Az’s feelings (as though he’s not a grown ass man), she’s retconned into her sexuality most of the way through the series… just shitty shitty rep all around

Hasar (Lesbian)

She’s a villain, and a shitty one at that

Lesbian rep from a side character in one novella that half the fandom didn’t read? What’s even the point?

Thesan (Gay)

A very minor character & his unnamed “lover” who serve no narrative purpose whatsoever… thanks for nothing sarah

Emrys & Malachai (Presumably gay)

Oh look! More minor, background mlm that might as well not exist for all they do for the story :/

They are cute though, I’ll give them that

POC rep

Nehemia

First (and only) black main in ToG

She dies to fuel the white protag’s character arc… a very tired trope

She was actually a pretty well-written, likable character up until her brutal murder, which made it that much worse to hear about her organs strewn all over the room

Sorscha 

Described as “plain” (particularly in contrast to the white women like Aelin & Lysandra)

We know she’s POC because of where she’s from, but the way her features are described suggest she could still be white

Dark hair, gold eyes, “tan” skin

She really just fawns over white-boy Dorian every 2 seconds before dying a violent death to fuel Dorian’s arc…

…Aaaand I’m sensing a pattern here

Nesryn

Much of her character (especially in QoS) is reduced to her beefing with Aelin (and thus being villanized by the narrative) because of jealousy over Chaol 

Simply described as having “tan” skin (again). I think sarah is allergic to calling people brown

She is also described as plain compared to white protagonist

She has a (presumably middle eastern) family that only wants her to stay home and be a baker/someone’s wife

Yrene 

Once again very racially ambiguous to the point where she could even be white, with “tan/golden” skin, golden hair, and golden eyes

She almost immediately ties her literal life force to a white man she hated like a month ago. Seriously, can WOC not fawn over a hunky white man for once?

She defeats erawan in the end — considering she’s been a character for such a short time, this just feels more like a deus ex machina the anything really set up by the plot

Helion 

Not going to fully rehash what I said above but generally… he has great potential, but is basically not a character

Tarquin 

He’s portrayed as very nice and reasonable, if young and naive, yet he literally only exists to get manipulated/robbed by the main characters

He seems like such a sweetheart. He deserved much better than Riceman and Feyrug doing him dirty like that

I’ve heard rumors of a High King/Queen F*ysand plotline in later books…if that happens, Tarquin will likely be bending the knee and forgiving the people who fucked him over just a short time ago

Lucien

He’s described as very caring and loyal (yay!) which seems to always get him taken advantage of (damn!)

He’s portrayed (especially in ACOWAR) as someone we’re supposed to dislike when all his actions are perfectly reasonable

He’s literally retconned out of being white when it’s revealed Helion is his father instead of Beron. I’ve seen ppl get mad at “white-washed” fan art but it’s hard to expect much else when his original character description was straight red hair, amber eyes,  and “tan” skin (holy shit agAIN)

The people of the White Fangs from TOG

They’re described as having black hair, black eyes, and “tan” skin

They live isolated in the mountains (away from civilization) and are described as “savage” and warlike, always raiding villages in the mountains and stealing women away from their homes… 

Cain, who’s from these people, dabbles in dark magic/religion nobody else understands

This is feeling, intentional or not, like a horrible Native American caricature. Idk maybe that’s just me

[hourafterhour]

hmmm actually i'd be so interested in hearing about why you hated tsc? i personally didn't hate it but thought it was very flawed and would love to hear your critiques <3

very long below!

starting more generally, i thought the structure of it was bizarre, especially the choice to start it where she did. rehashing the end of TKM in very minute detail from a new pov did nothing for me, and i don't think it's where this part of jean's story "starts" if that makes sense. i found a lot of parts really ham-fisted and poorly written, esp very sloppy/lazy/straight up bad characterization (jeremy giving the homeless man a gift card, lmao); and her reliance on very high drama plot points (surprise secret sister - that was when i could not believe what i was forcing myself to keep reading; also reacher showing up, other parts i've forgotten). i think this approach works so well in aftg, where the melodrama is crucial, but it fails here, and i got the impression that she didn't feel like she was telling (what should have been) a fundamentally different type of story in content and structure than aftg. using any of the very compelling interpersonal dynamics wrt jean in her original trilogy to build drama in a subtler way would have been so much more rewarding imo. "can jean make a life outside the nest” is the built in stakes of the story. can he survive what has happened and what comes next. no need to make it any more dramatic than that - those are pretty high dramatic stakes to me. to give a more specific example, i thought the scene abt jean having to relearn how to check because the way the ravens do it is dangerous was excellent, especially when jeremy explicitly tells him “you’re hurting me” and it’s still unclear if that will be enough to make jean resort to a style of gameplay that’s less effective. this is more along the lines of what i’d hope we’d get from this book — subtle moments that arise from this being a sports narrative and a recovery narrative, and the unique situation of jean being forced into intimacy with a new team (again, a situation that is already so dramatically rich!) 

but my main issue is that I think aftg is a pretty exceptional (and exceptionally unique) trauma narrative, and i think jean’s trauma was poorly written here from start to finish, and pretty unimaginative/cliche. my overwhelming thought while reading it is that it was a really poorly researched book. writing the perspective of a character IMMEDIATELY after release from years of captivity is an extraordinarily difficult task, and the way she tried to account for what his patterns of thinking would have adapted to under those conditions was paltry to me: “I am Jean Moreau. My place is at Evermore. I will endure.” — i was literally rolling my eyes. just a really depressing lack of depth of interiority wrt an experience that was already so rich and subtle in canon. the single line in tkm when abby says he's already tried to escape back to the nest twice was more complex and worth more to me than all of tsc

to give another specific example bc this is one part i remember well, i was so annoyed at the scene when jean offers his racquet to rhemann for punishment. like it's so lazy!!! it's so lazy. jean is not stupid, and i could have believed it if it was written as jean being confused/getting where he was and who he was with mixed up, but a crucial part of the ideology of the nest was that this was not like other teams, and their lifestyle is not ordinary, and this is necessary to make them better than everyone else. jean would be well aware that other people on most other teams do not get physically abused by their coaches, in front of the rest of their teammates, as a matter of course. like maybe that seems nitpicky, but this actually seems so essential to me. and there were so many other moments where it just didn't seem like any meaningful or interesting thought had been paid to how jean would have interpreted his own life, and i hated how she had to make him do things like this to make certain things about his past visible because she couldn't do it in more skillful ways

i was kind of withholding judgement through the first little bit, but the first scene with kevin really solidified that i would not enjoy this book. jean is, what, a few days removed from the nest? i just do not believe (or want to be asked to believe) that he and kevin would be able to articulate any of that by that point, or have the words to discuss these things openly like that already. this was baffling to me because, once again, this is handled really well and compellingly in the original trilogy!!! hence my 40k two months of madness!!!! jean and kevin literally cannot even speak to each other when they see each other at the banquet, to the point where andrew intervenes just to get them to stop watching each other. iirc there was a part in the EC where nora said they don’t have a real conversation till a year (or multiple years?) out of the nest which felt extremely true to me. laila, cat, and jeremy constantly pressing him to express what happened, as if being able to narrativize a traumatic experience is not actively one of the hardest things about recovery, again just felt like lazy writing. everything has to be spoken out loud for it to work here, because she didn’t build conflict in any other way. i actively disliked laila and cat by the end of the book because she had to use them in such annoying and blunt ways to drive the story forward.  

OKAY there is my quota of "joyless hater" for the day... i appreciate you wanting to hear my thoughts!! if you have any thoughts on any of this i'd love to hear them as well. and if you're interested, i'll take the opportunity to rec an academic text on some of these dynamics, Alexandra Stein’s book “Terror, Love, and Brainwashing: Attachment in Cults and Totalitarian Systems"

[filurig]

💔 and 💄 for arvo, since his face technically isnt his

💔 (broken heart) - Who has your character hurt most? Physically or emotionally? How did it feel? Do they regret it?

OHHH tbh for this one it requires all of the categories . and more

physically: well every vätte he's killing at jägarlyan KJFDSKJFSD and also arvo (human) and juhani. although i think the most brutal deaths were actually the humans, since arvo couldnt have shot them then (so his means of kill are..... Primal and driven by a meltdown). emotionally during pt 1 he does hurt a lot of people someone quite significantly indirectly. one of them is selma ofc. he doesn't really think about what he's doing at this point because of repressing any doubts/feelings of wrongness so at the moment he doesn't feel guilt about it - especially because he legitimately viewed bäckahästar as animals (not even only in his fucked up brain way but literally, bcs he didn't actually know that they were sapient). and of course he sees what he does as survival and an exacting of justice later on during pt 2. and post story he does deal with a lot of guilt/shame over what he's done to warrant selma's ire, but i think at first that guilt is actually misplaced and kind of selfish, and more concerned with how bad he feels that he hurt folke through that (who was also really hurt- you could probably on a similar level to selma, but part of that is maybe that folke is a bit more fragile tbh, it depends on how you look at 'hurt'). through pt 2. i think he experiences things which causes him to shift that perspective a bit, but he has very ill thought patterns which are hard to unlearn for him. i think he has very complicated feelings about regrets at this point, because he probably never really stops believing that the world is fundementally cruel, its moreso his perspective of him trying to survive by living in accordance to that might change

💄 (lipstick) - What does your oc think of their face? Do they have a positive or negative opinion? Do they wear makeup? Do they have a skincare routine? What traits do they like most about their face?

OHHH THIS IS INTERESTING FOR HIMMM.

i think he, at first, deeply loathes it actually. he hates it because he can see that it didn't end up looking like human arvo much at all, since the illusion doesn't work for him - he sees his feathers, skin, claws etc. its a constant reminder of what he is, and somehow even more humiliating because its a shoddy (in his view) imitation of the position that he is trying to survive as (as a human that is). he feels alienated from it and it just reminds him of the fact that he is never really safe unless he does his utmost best to secure a good place among humans, to the point where they wouldn't suspect him of being anything else

later on in his life i think his opinion mellows a bit about it and begins to identify with it more than his basilisk form, but they are both him to him. his humanoid forms "not quite human not quite basilisk" appearence is something that he finds identification with a lot too because he struggles with feeling alienated/not really belonging in either with humans or in sartrill during pt 2 and post story and i dont think that ever really goes away.

this became more general than just face but thats because well i dont think that arvo thinks of his face as much other than just a face JKFDJKSFD. human attractiveness doesn't really register to him as he isn't human so he doesn't have much of an opinion on that front. funnily enough i think that he probably believes he looks "more mature" than other humans because he is visibly feathered (to himself) - basilisks tend to think that the sparse filaments on humans look kind of "cute"/neotonous because basilisk chicks are featherless when hatched and are sparsely feathered in early life. i think that he finds his lips really weird though, he gets used to having them (and teeth) but part of why he isn't very expressive is just that he thinks moving his lips too much is weird.

[bookbitchx]

Hello again 😊 I knew i was gonna love chatting with u hehe

These are things that makes me wish anyone else would've written ACOTAR tbh. Her lack of planning and her retconning of characters so that she remains politically correct in current political climates is gross. It's been a pattern I've noticed, but it makes sense considering shes a zionist, but anyway 🥱

I do enjoy the world that she made and I think its an interesting concept to view a centuries old clusterfuck like the IC through a 20 yearold lense. But I wish it had a morsel of taste. Each of the books in this series left me wanting more, especially rereading as an adult.

So to compensate for the parts of the books I hate I just pretend its not upsetting me by psychoanalyzing the characters 😂 Rhys is one that I have a love/hate relationship with for that reason. He is genuinely one of the worst love interests ive seen be this popular in a long time and he has made the worst choices i have ever seen written and then defended by the author.

Feyre however, I would argue is his perfect partner for how awful he is after SF and CC3. But I wish a better author had written this book so we could've seen a decent redemption or a proper Rhysand villain arc. I think this series would've been so much more interesting crossover wise if it had been with tog and had been a mock feysand villain arc. Maeve has daemati powers, so making her an ancestor of Rhysand's through the HL bloodline would've made sense. Hybern could've been a mock villain to lure the reader into a false sense of security and think maybe the NC ARE good guys?

Nesta and Elain join Aelin's circle to take them down after they attempted to seize the dread trove for themselves under Amren's advice, (they dont like her having it clearly). And the emotional climax of the series is Feyre leaving him and joining her sisters, which leads Rhys to pull a tamlin by in turn going to koshei. Could even get Bryce quinlan in to fullfill a life debt to Nesta by using the horn and Feyre's fire powers to give Aelin her magic back somehow, and nesta never has her magic taken back by the cauldron?????? The cauldron had Amren in it and it should've been written that she had to sacrifice her true Daglan immortality to be with Varian. Boom full fucking circle.

But nope, we have Miss Maas.

thanks janet for ruining what couldve been my favorite thing >:^(

but a part of me hopes the Elucien book will include Tamlin's side of the story and Elain confronts Feysand for their *waves arms* everything. And taking Nesta and the Valkyries with them, they deserve better. it wont happen tho, so I'll read fanfic instead.

-🤠

Heyy again!

I get where you're coming from. I liked book 1, the way Feyre (and us, in a way) was discovering the SC and a little bit of Prythian as a whole, and I liked Feyre, who was this badass huntress, who had her own opinions, doing what needs to be done, etc... I mean, she went UTM knowing full well she wasn't coming out alive, but she still did it bc it was right, and she wanted to save her man.

Where THAT Feyre went, I'll never know.

As you said, It's an interesting concept seeing everything through a 20 year old's eyes, or it would've been for me if she hadn't started taking everything they said as truth.

Even though I haven't read any CC books yet, my friend spoiled CC3 that Nesta didn't actually lose her powers? That it was more of a bargain with the Couldron, but yeah, it would've been interesting to see crossovers between the series. I think Aelin, Manon, and maybe Lysandra would absolutely despise Rhysand. I would a 100% read a fic with what you described.

As for the Elucien book, like I hope she does good by Lucien because he, out of all the characters, deserves it.

I'm not holding my breath on Elain ever confronting Feysand bc as Rhysand once said, 'Elain is Elain', but a girl can hope.

Also, if Nesta and the valkyries ever become one of Rhysand's legions, I'm pulling a one woman riot before burning the book.

On another note, feel free to DM if you want to continue the conversation or if you're more comfortable this way, I don't mind that either.

🫰🏼

[sugarcherriess]

You won't be able to push off master, little bunny hehe.

Also since you said we can request anything can I request sadistic incel hyunjae meets anime girl hehe - 🥛

I’m going to ignore that this. Sentence. Has been festering in my askbox for three months.

And now that I got to it I kind of forgot whether the mc was supposed to be an anime enthusiast or an actual come-to-life anime person so I just went with the latter because that’s more interesting. But this is definitely not even close to what I had told you guys about my extreme Hyunjae anime fucker idea 🗿🗿

(Also it’s they/them bc milk later edited the request not me tampering with the request 😭)

Sadistic Incel!Hyunjae x Anime!They/Them:

cw - smut, mc has a pussy and tits, dubcon? I mean mc is from an anime drawn in a plot where they get fucked constantly so they don’t rlly know the difference of being used or otherwise, bimbo-ish behaviour, mentions of pet play, throat fucking, perverted behaviour from strangers, owner/pet relationship, dystopian au

Let’s talk about a dystopian society where technology has evolved so far that you can buy or rent anime people online

Of course, the program started for people to be able to hang out with there favourite characters or take help from them

But there are some sick headed people out there as well

People like Hyunjae who pick out the sluttiest anime characters to buy

So they can satisfy their sick brains by using them for sexual purposes

Because nobody seems to be willing to date him irl, Hyunjae’s constantly horny brain decides to invest in this program

He chooses the character with the most pornographic plot and dressing

And the bimbo-est personality

Just like the mc of this story

He’s not even ashamed when he makes y/n walk with him all the way back to his home from the delivery portal downtown

People ogle y/n’s huge breasts jiggling as they walk by

Some even trying to sneak in and fondle their ass as Hyunjae has to stop at different places

But then they finally come home! Inside the safety of Hyunjae’s room!

Not that y/n is safe there anyway

Hyunjae is a bigger monster than those strangers

As y/n will soon find out.

Hyunjae doesn’t wait for anything

He’s impatient and restless

Although he does have the decency to tell y/n a few important things:

“My name is Jaehyun but you can call me Hyunjae. I am your owner from now on and you will do as I ask. Got it?”

“Mhm!”

The answer is more cheerful than the occasion requires

Since y/n doesn’t yet realise they are a slaughter lamb that walked all the way to the lion’s cave

“Don’t mumble in front of me, I hate it,”

“Yes, Hyunjae!”

And just like that, y/n gets their first task

“I have a very important gaming session in a few minutes and I need you to sit between my legs and warm my cock with your mouth while I play,”

“Okay, Hyunjae,”

“You’re not supposed to make any sound or any protests. Don’t move until I tell you to move,”

“Yes, Hyunjae,”

He nods towards his desk, ushering y/n under there

Surprisingly, it’s not that cramped of a space but it still isn’t the most comfortable

Y/n does their best to not hurt themselves but how careful can they be on their knees with their mouth wide open for, essentially, a stranger?

Hyunjae, not giving a single fuck about them, slides his pants down and pulls y/n in by the hair to his cock

He uses the other hand to tap his tip on y/n’s mouth, making poor, dumb y/n smile

He fists their hair to slide them down their cock experimentally for a few moments, checking the temperature and whether y/n’s mouth can get him wet enough for an easy slide

Once he’s satisfied that their mouth has soaked him enough, he gives y/n no warning before pulling them all the way down

Hyunjae’s tip shoves uncomfortably at the back of y/n’s throat

For extra convenience, his motion has no specific pattern!

So yk, y/n is really thrown for a loop!!

Which is perfect because if not now then when?

(Sarcasm)

He’s unbothered by how harsh he’s holding y/n’s hair or jostling them around

All he knows is that he wants to cum and use y/n so they’re his money’s worth

Sometime amidst this, his game begins

And he ignores y/n for the most of it unless it’s to push them from the back of their head until their nose is pressed to his pelvis

He harshly shushes y/n when they gag a little too loud for his liking

Not that he cares if his friends hear

Which ofc they do

He definitely uses the opportunity to boast about how much pussy he’s about to get from now on

Since his dumb pet is gonna be at his disposal constantly

Only good for being fucked and used as a cumdump

Y/n whines a little bit at the indirect degradation solely because they would like attention on themselves now!

The bad words don’t bother them

Because their owner thinks they’re useful <3

Y/n’s eyes might be tearing up and they might be struggling to breathe but that does not bother Hyunjae in the slightest!

With every short break in the game, his hand is back on y/n’s hair and pulling them down while simultaneously snapping his hips up

His desperately pussy-starving ass doesn’t even realise that he could be using, well, y/n’s pussy for the same reasons he is using their mouth

And he’s cum like. Four times in the small timeframe he’s had them on his cock

Somewhere amidst this mess he had hastily ordered y/n to pull down their top

He just wanted the tits to pop out but

The top was so snug that their tits squished together as well.

And lo and behold

His team finally won the game after two hours of stressful gameplay

And what did Hyunjae do?

He celebrated by pulling y/n up on his lap to use their pussy

Like he had initially planned

A plan he so gracefully forgot.

He nipped and bit at y/n’s tits as they bounced on top of him

Face smushed in their chest, Hyunjae grabbed their ass to force them down harshly on their cock

In true pussy-deprived-loser fashion, his thrusts were uncoordinated due to lack of proper practice

“Fuck! Tell me how good I’m fucking you, you slut”

God knows how his virgin ass was even able to say the entire sentence without his voice breaking is astonishing

But y/n, being the perfect little pet used to being talked down to, obliges

In true Hentai fashion, y/n whines and cries, narrating everything they’re feeling inside them

All the ways Hyunjae’s cock has them fucked up

Their mouth is drooling exactly like their pussy

Face dripping with all sorts of fluids

Hyunjae can’t resist but to fuck them harder

In pursuit of a ahegao face from y/n

Which he gets

Drooly tongue out, teary eyes crossed, blushed cheeks heating up more by the second– the nines

He cums for the last time for the night, hopefully, Hyunjae shushes his moans by fixing his teeth around y/n’s neck

And biting hard

Trying to engrave his mark on them Like a rabid dog

Y/n screams loudly– Well. As loud as their hoarse and overused throat could let them

Eyes twitching, y/n squirts all over Hyunjae

Because they were encoded to be an anime character and what kind of anime character would they be if they didn’t squirt easily hello?

Not that Hyunjae minds it

But he still reprimands them for it

And makes them lick it off him because “a good pet cleans up their mess otherwise they are useless. Do you wanna be useless? Do you want me to throw you on the streets for anyone to use?”

“No, Hyunjae!”

(Said with wet puppy eyes and a pout deeper than the pacific ocean)

[mashiee]

what's your rei au?

AHAJDD OMFG. OKDY FIRSG OF ALL I LOVE YOH AND TY FOR LEAVING THE ASK. SCEOND O OF ALL

(tw, dark/angst, death, kidnapping, human labor trafficking, extreme mental instability, mental and moral decline, developed delusions, etc)

basically, i took rei and put him in the most horrible situations ever °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

the idea is basically a very dark 'what-if' of if rei had survived

im a whore for plots that have a character survive, but everyone still thinks theyre dead, so thats the route here. rei does survive, but at a great cost, and to the knowledge of no one.

and by great cost i mean, he would have been better off if he had just died. which is why the au had previously been named 'better off dead.' i have since changed the name bc i hated it.

the new au name is pontibus incensis (burned bridges in latin). this is both bc rei's bridges were forcibly burned by volcan and byron (both figuratively and literally in relation to the fire claws) and bc i think being able to say its my pi/π au is really funny.

the whole thought process behind the au stems from the thought that the government wouldnt use their money on ember. they would use something else as a source for its funds. so i basically combined that with wanting rei to be alive and go thru angst.

the story is give or take as goes:

the au starts as soon as rei "dies." ember finds a way to fake his body, etc. rei wakes up in a cell chained to the wall, he doesnt know where he is. eventually he pulled out to some kind of "arena" people are calling "the colosseum"

(i am aware colosseum is the term for the specific famous building, and coliseum is the proper term for any large stadium. the place rei's in being called colosseum as opposed to coliseum is important to later on in the story)

theres a little girl about 8-10 there too. hes given a brief set of rules basically saying he needs to fight to the death within a certain time period. obviously rei is not going to kill a little girl and shes scared shitless so neither of them do anything. theres a warning bell signaling the time is up and the little girl, who has long light pink hair and a blue ribbon in it, is shot and killed. rei attacks the person shooting out of rage and survival and accidentally kills them. rei's allowed to pass bc hes found interesting by the colosseum head(?) and its the first and last time any match in the colosseum ends in a draw. as reis leaving he turns around and sees the girls lifeless body and for a brief moment she looks like remi.

so reis dilemma there is that he just killed someone and the little girl who looks like remi dying. his thoughts spiral from here but theyre cut off. hes later brought out again and fights a guy who comes at him instantly. reis forced to kill him. when rei gets back to his cell he finds the barcode branded on the back of his neck reading 1010 (XX in roman numerals, allude to the X in X-Static). he has the horrifying realization this place has already had at least 1000 prisoners.

this pattern of killing to survive continues. due to the constant stress, reis ability steadily climbs as well as his survival instincts. he develops a literal skill to survive. meanwhile, his mental health and morals are rapidly dropping and becoming tangled and confusing--even incomprehensible. eventually he'll develop the delusion that the little girl actually was remi, and that hes the one who killed her. as its a delusion, the knowledge of remi being 4 yrs younger than him and what she looks like now doesnt matter.

im thinking of giving him psychotic depression in order to explain the delusion, but im unsure. i will need to do more research. i could possibly also give him more delusions, such as hallucinations of his body rotting and the delusion he deserves it, or maybe the hallucination of remis decaying corpse, etc. another symptom of psychotic depression is psychomotor impairment which causes issues with speech and muscle activity, which i may be able to use as well?

(all of that is very surface level research btw, if i got anything wrong or am using the disorder in an inappropriate or disrespectful way please tell me. im very open to criticism and correction)

anyway, rei figures out that hes being used as entertainment for higher ups in the authorities to have monetary gain for ember funding. hes also become the fav of the place bc he just wont die, hes seen as some kind of impossible to kill entity. he gives ember massive monetary gain. he manages to survive for a long time (i think i want the colosseum arc to be maybe 4 months long?) which is unheard of. at most people have only survived for a month.

at the end of the colosseum arc, rei obviously escapes. hes very briefly helped by an oc of mine, who ends up being important later on.

i wont go into detail abt the rest of it unless u want bc this arc is the main point of the au.

something i should mention though that rei only finds out in the next arc is that ember doesnt ever actually kill the vigilantes. theyre always taken to a coliseum. and they end up dying in there. reis the only one whos survived so far.

[cosmicjoke]

i am so sorry u had to deal with that anon, i hope you are feeling ok! :’) it sucks how shippers make their own reputation bad by not accepting another perspective/opinion :/ and to go to this extent over a fictional ship is just… something else😭 i’ll never understand how some can’t just enjoy their ship in peace and always have to prove it is canon and fight everyone else who doesn’t think like them, as if you can’t enjoy a ship otherwise?

anon just reminded me why i never took an interest in any levi ship, and i probably never will. i sooo wanted to say that i didn’t understand why anon suddenly started to hate on levi x oc shippers, but it’s obvious bc most oc’s are depicted as women and that is against their ‘canon’ ship and beliefs about levi😭 why care so much, levi can be whatever sexuality you want seeing as nothing was confirmed, so just take a step back, touch some grass and let people enjoy whatever they like :’)

anyways, once again im sorry u had to deal with all of that i can’t even imagine how tiring or frustrating it must be to always be attacked/asked about the same things constantly. i love your levi posts and i feel like you really analyze him very well! happy holidays :’)

Thank you so much, truly.

I've said again and again that I have nothing against any ship or shipping group. People can ship Levi with whoever they want. But these people who harass me over it, then accuse me of "talking" about it all the time, but the only reason I talk about it is because they're the ones asking me about it.

The thing is, is I just want to talk about what's in the actual story. Levi has no love interest in the story, either directly acknowledged or even implied. Everything this person sited as evidence or "proof" of Levi being romantically interested in Erwin, I addressed to the best of my abilities. They didn't want to accept it, and then they accuse me of being a hypocrite, trying to claim that all of my analysis posts are based on the same, speculative, inconclusive and flimsy material they base their beliefs on. As if breaking down text, expression, sequential order of panels, and patterns in the text and past character behavior is the same as taking an off-handed comment from Isayama in an interview from ten years ago or whatever and using it as proof of some super secret hidden romantic interest between Levi and Erwin. You can literally look at every post of mine analyzing AoT and find evidence supporting, pretty damn concretely, my conclusions in the actual text. And I'm hardly alone in that. There's many, many great AoT fans who write brilliant analysis posts about the manga/anime, using only the source material. But these people can never point to a single panel or word bubble or piece of text that supports this notion that Levi was in love with Erwin, or anyone, for that matter. They need to site promotional material to try and back up their claims, and extrapolate meaning from the panels and texts which isn't, in any discernible, concrete way actually supported by the text and panels. They literally need to twist Levi's words and actions in the most absurd, nonsensical, illogical manner in order to make it fit. That isn't how Isayama operates as a writer. Even when there's subtext, there's a clear, undeniable line between it and the action on the page. That's what analysis is based on, after all. There has to be a viable, evident reason for drawing certain conclusions.

Levi holding the serum against his chest, or touching Erwin's hand when he took the serum from him, or him thinking of Erwin when wondering who he could revive, none of that is enough proof in and of itself to support a romantic interest between them. I tried explaining to this person what those things actually indicate within the story. The last two don't mean anything. It's just how the panels were drawn. But the first, if this person had paid any kind of attention to Levi's actual relationship with Erwin, and how Levi regarded Erwin, and the reasons he was so loyal to Erwin, would understand that he thought of Erwin in that moment because he regarded Erwin as the leader that humanity needed, and that humanity's future was dependent on Erwin's survival. It's the entire reason Levi tried to stop Erwin from going to Shinganshina in the first place. I come to all of those conclusions based on the actual text and what we know about the characters leading up to that point.

I explained all of this to this fool in my initial reply to them, and they accused me of "brushing them off", lol.

Anyway, whatever. But thank you so much again for your support. I just can't seem to get away from these people, haha.

[tsunflowers]

last week at the library I picked up a book bc it was titled "GUNDOG" and I needed to know what a gundog was. the answer is a giant robot. the robot had many guns but was bipedal so I still don't know where the dog part came from. and of course it was hidden in a secret (?) hangar under mt rushmore

I felt like this book was a bad action movie that was hit with a beam that turned it into a book and maybe the beam was malfunctioning also. it didn't do anything new or interesting. at first I thought it was a little interesting bc the premise is that these robotic alien invaders came to earth peacefully but humans couldn't trust them and attacked so they turned on the human race and subjugated us. but actually that was a lie and humans wanted a peaceful option while the aliens are lawful evil and wanted to kill everyone. there's just nothing interesting about these aliens. if it was a movie and you saw cool effects it might be enough but they were a real snoozefest in the book and didn't make any sense either. they have the ability to wipe out the human race if they so desire but they chose to keep people alive in camps to do mining and manufacturing? why dont you do it yourself if you're these super advanced robots. they were just as evil as possible all the time with no real logic

it was also subtly (?) sexist. the main character is a woman and she has an important relationship with her mom but otherwise I feel like she's just tugged around by the men in her life. again if this was a movie and she was an action heroine doing kickass stunts it might have tricked you into thinking she was a strong character but she kinda wasnt. first she has her older brother who used to look out for her but he lost his arm in an accident and she is obsessed with taking care of him now. I actually don't mind that kind of sibling role reversal but it's part of a pattern. bc then a stranger comes to town and she becomes obsessed with him and they go on the run together. and then HE dies and a new guy shows up who's a soft-spoken geek thats in love with her and he made me the most mad bc he undermined her at every turn. she struggled to find mt rushmore and had to have the help of the stranger who knew where it was but this new guy found it bc he has a photographic memory and saw the map once. shut the hell up. she's supposed to be a tough engineer who spent her childhood living rough in the woods but this guy turns out to be better at her than everything. the worst example is when they're trying to stick an improvised device on the wall of the alien robot stronghold and the main character's like "oh no i can't do it bc the air force didn't have any duct tape in their secret hangar" (I'm still mad about this) and the new guy chews some gum and sticks the device to the wall with gum

this guy was the first screenwriter they hired for rogue one so now I retroactively hate rogue one

[somewhereinthepines]

Hello, Pines! Is it okay for me to call you that? You can not answer this if you don’t want to, but you are one of few people who don’t have strong feelings for Dylan/Ryan ship. I wanted to know why? I hope it doesn’t come off combative!

hi, and yeah, it’s more than okay! when i was writing ‘by design’ i was called this by a reader and fellow author, so i kind of gentle of this nickname now, haha.

now, about your question….it doesn’t read as rude or combative to me at all! i don’t get irked, when i’ve asked about stuff that i don’t like or not into. but in turn, i have to warn that i do prefer to be honest about my opinion, and while i don’t hate dylan/ryan ship, i think that people who really love it might find my words kinda downing. my opinions are whimsical and fully based on my own pref and tastes, and what i look for in fiction, so i’d just ask people to view it as this. just me speaking for myself, from my own tower. 

*waves a hand* but let’s begin. so ah, dylan/ryan. it’s true, that i indeed don’t have any particularly strong feelings about them as a ship. or about dylan. i don’t hate him as a character, i just don’t care about him lol. surprisingly enough, i didn’t actively distaste anyone in the quarry. and it’s smth, bc supermassive does tend to create/write at least one character, who pisses me off in their games. either way, dylan wasn’t that. he was fine. i just didn’t find him interesting or compelling, or felt like ryan had some insane connection to him. 

i look back at all the interactions, that dylan had with ryan, and it’s very generic to me. the game trying to force them into ‘romance’ only made everything worse and feel scripted, rather than coming off natural. i mean, what ryan and dylan have narrative wise, first of all? 1) they talk inside mister h’s office, and it all while they lie out plot points for us, and dylan also makes a comment about ryan always going through chris’s things. so technically speaking, he makes sexual comment about a guy, who he likes with another man. like, if he’s into it okay lol. but it was a bit strange. 2) they might have a kiss, that was basically not happening out of free will. it happened bc of a truth/dare game and not bc either of them decided to do it, while they had some meaningful moment together. more so, i find it almost funny how if ryan picks truth, emma asks about him and mister h. so even the girl, who ‘shipped’ those two or smth, was actually curious about (once again) ryan and another man lmao. you are beginning to see the pattern here too, i believe. 3) the cut off hand scene, that was just….not super impactful, despite it supposed to be tense in an emotional sense vs just a tense gameplay. but it’s not. in fact, i often think, that if the quarry pulled a john & andrew there, aka ryan would have been stuck with his camp leader during the night (and chris wasn’t a werewolf), and they run into the same situation with cutting off hand or not, it would have been so good, y’know? no matter whose hand would have been at stake, it would have been so much more loaded and hard for them to decide what to do, even from non-shipping point. like, how can you intentionally harm someone even if they ask you to, when you feel responsible for them (chris) or when you admire them and they are the most important adult figure in your life (ryan)? cutting off dylan’s hand was traumatising for both dylan and ryan, don’t get me wrong. but it was missing a heavy key-emotional aspect in it. for me, it’s always gonna be more of an evil dead ref, than anything else. i love my gore to be meaningful in one sense or another. which brings me to the following point…. 

nothing really happens after that. at all. there wasn’t any tension or uncertainty. and okay, maybe they didn’t want to take the route, where dylan would look at ryan oddly, bc he finally realised that he doesn’t even really know the dude at all. but then, nothing in the game led me to believe, like dylan or ryan would be attached to each other to the point, where they both would be able to ‘overlook’ this moment in future, either. so yeah, it only proves, that there was no aftermath, and it was kinda a meaningless scene in terms of the ship, and what a waste! i watched du’met killing charlie 4 separate times, and each time, it was ofhduhgi great, amazing, i could see a personal touch there. and those two weren’t even officially speaking, written as a couple. then, there is dylan who doesn’t even question things and ryan, who have no time to question if he’s fucked up for doing it or not, bc he has other things (mister h) on his mind. and the thing is, that i legit wished that the game would at least make dylan and ryan’s interactions entertaining for me, even if i wouldn’t have shipped them together. like until dawn threw me a bone in chris/ashley segments. i do not ship those two at all, but i loved how the gameplay actually forces you to deal with consequences if chris will pick to shoot ashley or pick josh and not her. at least, they made it interesting and gave a bit different angle to both characters and their possibly not all that deep relationships lol. ashley pettily watching chris to be torn apart spoke volumes about how he might have not been the guy, she thought he was. dylan and ryan don’t get even a bit of this. 

next bit be that dylan is a boring character to me, even outside the ship. i cannot think of anything, that would personally interest me, if i had to put him and ryan into a ‘romantic’ set-up. him being prone to panic in extreme situations or insecure doesn’t pull anything in me. it’s very mundane things. and it’s not like i haven’t ever shipped an aloof/emotionally stunted/mental character with basically a ‘normie’. one of such examples be the nite own/rorschach (watchmen). and here is the thing, i don’t like dan lol. he piss me off on a few occasions, and i generally don’t vibe with his character at all. i look at him and see an average joe, who chased after a woman, who usually wouldn’t even glance his way, unless she had some turmoil happening in her life. i see a person, who put on a costume, but couldn’t ever actually commit to all the pain and suffering, that would come along with it, just so that he could do the ‘right thing’. but it didn’t change the fact, that i did like how he had affection for rorschach and how rorschach essentially only ever liked dan in return. even if nite owl was plain for me, he clearly wasn’t for rorschach, who was hilariously delusional about him (along with other things). and i also always saw a chance of dan getting ‘corrupted’ into rorschach's ways of living, which would in return traumatise him and ‘isolate’ him, and make him ‘perfect’ for his fucked up partner. in the end, dan was a simp lol. He wasn’t simp just for laurie, but for rorschach as well, so there was always hope lol. and it’s smth that i cannot see in dylan and ryan’s case at all, bc i don’t think that ryan would care that deeply about some guy to go and try to chase after him. or that dylan would be simping for ryan so hard, that he will be able to shrug off his cool deminear and flat affected reactions. inside my head, they just do not work at all. if you look at all of my multi-chapter fics, that i ever wrote, for whatever pairs, there is a common theme of smth being ‘not quite right there’. i don’t ship someone who is normal and who does normal things, and who doesn’t have some huge ‘flaws’ or clear problems or red flags, that would affect their relationships and who can form a very specific bond only with that other specific person. i wouldn’t have bothered with dan/rorschach, if i didn’t feel like dan’s crush on laurie can be made meaningless and unimportant in the end of the day, bc he would pick rorschach and just be with him, even if he now kills people…. 

in that sense, dylan for me is what max is for travis/laura shippers. a cuck lol. and trust me, i don’t want or have intentions of diminishing the dude in my fics or hcs. as i said, i don’t think that him having a crush on ryan was bad or that he was having said crush due to a very 20 smth worldview is smth to be frowned upon. like in a way, it legit sucks to be dylan or max in a situation, where your cool eyepatch gf or sofrcore metalic bf would rather fuck some redneck grandpa, than you lol. to summarise it, i’m a guy, who watches ‘phantom of the opera’ and thinks, that i would love to dropkick paul from a rooftop, bc i just don’t need him there lol. i wanted christine to get isolated and corrupted, and disappear with her ‘angel of music’. i’m a dude, who watched dracula and wanted mina gone forever, bc dracula and john were so much more sexy to look at. i’m someone who wished, that ichabod crane would have been abducted in a sleepy hallow movie, like he was in the book. i love it, when it’s complicated and maybe even, ‘bad’ or downright scary to want that thing, but if you are ready to go after it, stay with it, this means that in the end you want it more, than anything else. it’s fiction and i love my fiction to be extreme, be it emotional extreme or smth else. so yeah. ships like dylan/ryan, chris/ashley or idk, erin/jamie weren't made for me, and that’s okay. bc chris/ryan and du’met/charlie is what was made to a t, almost as if to tailor my own fascinations, and i don’t care that canon doesn’t spell it out for me, that they’re destined lovers. in my head, and in my understanding they are. and that's the fun of shipping, really. to just indulge yourself in what you see as crucial for a dynamic to work. 

*looks up at the wall of text above* well, uh yeah. i guess it’s all that i say here. like about the ship and dylan on his own. i always compare preferences in fiction (characters, ships, media) to food, bc i feel like it just drives the point across. i’m a very picky eater irl (some textures, tastes would make me gag and i just won’t be able to stomach the said food), and i’m like that with what i ship too. it doesn't objectively make smth amazing and the best there to be, it just makes those things tasty and great for me, subjectively. and i do hope, that one day, internet would just take a chill pill on that matter, and there be less ‘call outs’ about shipping this or that, or someone getting aggressive just cuz someone else doesn’t like their ship and not even in a rude way. 

and thank you for asking me this, i do think that it’s important to know why you don’t like smth or just don’t care about it and love that other things instead. it really helps to not fall into ‘trending’ and ending up doing smth that you most likely won’t enjoy at all. spent your time only on stuff, that really ‘speaks’ to you.

[lily-orchard-gossip-blog]

On the topic of EoT’s suspension and whether or not that’s a self ask anon, it’s very much likely bc I’ve never really seen any of LO’s fans use her exact name calls for anything or think they’re being creative by coming up with a clever insult for something she doesn’t like, or copy her exact phrasing word for word, not that I’ve really paid much attention to that anyway, however….I was once a LO fan, and my ex as far as I know, most likely still is. Even when we were still together, they sometimes threw around specific terms LO uses when talking about stuff ie “white favoritism” in terms of writing characters, shipping and character lineup, “Poe faced” about a mobile game we played together coming out with a new season at the time and their ‘concern’? over it being unnecessarily ‘edgy’, “gay reylo” about catradora, and “nazi/fascism/abuse apologist” about making their main villain oc irredeemable and making sure not to write them like rebecca sugar would,etc and i hate to say it but they’re a pretty good example of a sheep and not even just when it comes to Lilian. I think what started to have me go down this rabbit hole of how problematic and awful LO really is, is how I kept getting this vibe/fear of accidentally offending her, if I were to interact with her, basically walking on eggshells, which is not good, and brings me back to my own past traumas with toxic abusive assholes I’ve dealt with. If anything I still kind of enjoy MO’s art and videos, but I’ll have to watch in a way that doesn’t go straight to LO’s pocket.

And I kind of have the feeling LO’s influence may have also contributed to even my friendship ending with my ex too, bc even when we broke up as a couple, we were still okay with being friends, and even while I thought things were fine between us after awhile, apparently things weren’t on their end bc they pulled away from me completely over how similar our coming outs were; they told me after reflecting on it, they noticed this pattern of similarities between them and their timings, basically accusing me of copying them and tacking on their labels just so they could notice me? I’m sorry but don’t flatter yourself. Because that is farrrrrrrr from the truth and it literally took me over 6 yrs to come to terms with being gay, going back n forth on whether I was actually bi or lesbian, and even with my pronouns, I am comfortable with going by she/they, and even with those I still contemplated over for awhile bc I always had this fear of ‘faking’, so I made sure to take my time in figuring these things out, regardless whom I was interested in, not letting anyone define me and they knew that. While they said I never did anything objectively wrong, it’s like they just picked apart any “questionable” thing about me and used it as a reason to drop me when she/they were never like that at allllll, more so the opposite, and seeing them act this way felt like such a betrayal because I never saw it coming from someone I considered one of my best friends, we literally started dating on our 7th friendship anniversary the year before. We almost made it to a year and despite their hectic work schedule, I knew they still did their best and I was nothing but understanding and supportive and loved them no matter what…I just..feel like it could have been handled so much better and that we could have come to some sort of understanding. I made it clear that I wanted to hold myself accountable for any flaws and mistakes I may have made throughout our relationship and apologizing for my timings coming off a certain way that offended them…taking responsibility for myself, my actions, any misunderstandings, open to having a civil conversation, call things out and clear up any confusion, but they just weren’t here for it and I don’t think it would have mattered what I had or hadn’t explained at that point, not if they were just going to pick it apart in a black and white/all or nothing way like a certain youtuber they sheep over. Shortly after Christmas, I found they had me blocked/removed on everything… Also they didn’t know I was getting those walking on eggshell vibes from LO either, I never told them, mostly bc they seemed to be defensive of her and I was still trying to figure out my feelings on that, not knowing if it was intuition or just me being paranoid. I’m so sorry if this is all over the place, but I also recall seeing an ask here about friendships falling apart bc of LO’s influence and I felt I may as well work that in and vent a little. If LO encourages questioning the validity of someone’s labels and cutting them off over it, that is truly fucked up, considering she said that if someone identifies a certain way, you don’t question it unless you want your teeth knocked out, yet she also misgenders those she doesn’t like… those inconsistencies alone, among many, are a red flag.

.

[ap-trash-compactor]

The Tavstarion thing has such potential but the execution… mmmm. So far the Durgestarion run feels a little more, like, complete? Nuanced, alive, polished? But it still feels like there’s a lot of, like… idk all the storylines feel sketched more than drawn but as someone who went into this game specifically bc the elf sounded like my exact brand of bullshit, I am most disappointed by the deficiencies in it. Although, to be fair a lot of the complaints I have about the elf nonsense actually apply to ALL of Tav’s (or Durge’s) relationships, platonic or romantic. The biggest of them is that… like… nobody ever asks Tav if they’re ok. How they’re doing. Fandom loves the Astarion hug moment (personally I think that does not feel like a hugging moment and I never use that option and low-key hate that it’s the only chance the game allows instead of several more appropriate moments), but… nobody ever offers Tav a fuckin’ hug. It’s basically impossible to play Tav as a complex, fully realized human being who has their own needs. Tav is basically everyone’s shoulder to cry on, but is never offered or allowed to ask for any support. They’re written as kind of a shell, and I *get* that that’s partly the nature of the genre but I felt like my SWTOR OCs are given more grace, leeway, and depth all at once than Tav, in spite of that being a much more railroaded game. I truly found it incredibly bleak and genuinely depressing when I played the first time. It makes all the relationships, romantic or platonic, feel like… idk, man. It makes Tav’s “life” feel like a drag. And it pairs *particularly* poorly with the Astarion stuff where he is always dancing on the razor’s edge of being a completely abusive POS. And to a certain extent that’s fine — it makes sense that he has the patterns he has, he’s a complex and well-written and interesting character, but it makes his ~journey~ back to, like, humanity or whatever feel pretty fuckin’ lame that the writing never actually gives him an opportunity to try (even to try badly!!! even to fail at it and fall flat on his face and have to deal with that!!!) to go outside himself and offer Tav *any*… anything! Anything! The concept is this broken person waking up to his own vulnerability and desire for a relationship (or friendships, if Tav goes the platonic route) and getting his own sense of self back as part of that etc etc etc, but he really ends up looking like a douchenozzle even in the “romantic” moments because the writing uses Tav as an eyeball instead of a character, so the narrative can never be arsed to put Astarion in a position where he has to grow up enough to try and reach outside himself by offering his alleged partner any, not even the slightest modicum, of support or concern or literally anything. I guess the player is supposed to be moved by the feelings confession and the graveyard scene but like. Idk man maybe it’s just how I engage w this kind of media but I don’t want to feel like the game is showing *me* something, I want to feel like I’m discovering my OC’s story, so I’m playing along thinking “who is she? what’s this like for her? why is she doing this? what’s her motivation? how’s she feeling right now?” and while I tried to invent a person who would stick it out to the end of the Astarion romance because I wanted to see it, it felt like such a bleak, empty, sad, draining story for Tav that it just… made me sad. Not for him. For Tav. But of course the issue from a writing standpoint is not “Astarion is a jackass,” it’s that the writing never. Ever. Not one time. Gives Tav any opportunities to express distress or ask for emotional support… from anyone. It stands out most in the romance but it is pervasive. Because Tav is not a person with a story. And that drives me up the fucking wall.

[ineedibuprofen]

1, 2, 11, 16, 19, 20, 49 it’s kinda a lot so u don’t have to do all of them if u don’t want <33

1. do u prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

one-shots bc i have commitment issues and not enough time on my hands 😭 i have so many mutli-chapter ideas that will never be written lbr. also like, idk i like exploring characters and such within a smaller time frame, it makes things more interesting imo.

2. do u plan each chapter ahead or write as u go?

oh def write as i go. which is probably why i dont do multi-chapter rip. the only time i've planned it out is with an unfinished work i'll never finish.

11. link ur three favorite fics right now.

okay! wasn't sure if this meant of mine or other people's so i did the latter (specifically in the pjo fandom). amicus certus in re incerta cernitur by aknosde, body gold by cruel highways, & unfinished pile by fuckin_rodent (specifically the chapter linked bc it's kind of like a one-shot collection.)

16. how many fics are u nurturing right now? share one of them?

okay so i have a whole bunch of plotbunnies/ideas/one or two paragraphs of fics, so ignoring all those and the fics i have unfinished and posted, i narrowed it down to all the individual docs i had (as opposed to the complete collection of random snippets i have) i have like 25. so yknow. somewhere between that and maybe 100.

19. what is ur most-used tag on ur ao3?

just looked thru them all it's either angst or hurt/comfort

20. have u noticed any patterns in ur fics? words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc.?

i feel like commas and em dashes are like my besties fr. and parentheses, depending on the fic. common settings are kinda obv since i write for the same fandom. i feel like i kinda take one sentence and then write a paragraph following that isn't really connected but also kind of is? tbh it's usually a trauma dump lmao. i also use actually and really excessively, my grammar hates me for it.

49. do u ever get rude reviews and how do u deal with them?

i don't! the closest thing i've ever gotten close to one is a comment w a lot of helpful constructive criticism (im actually writing a second chapter for the fic they gave it to me on to hopefully resolve some of it).