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Definitely not me finding random nightgown on pinterest and making a whole au just because of it haha nooo why would you think that?
Anyway, please listen to "I Wanted to Leave" by Syml while looking at this, it really adds a lot to the experience and in this essay I will-
#Sebastian you better take great care about my bright little star till the day he burns out#or I'll never draw you again you hear me????#btw don't mind pictures' order it's not a comic or anything like that#just my brain rotting itself out#I'm crazy alright#but I'm free.#sorry for absence of coherent thoughts#It will happen again#kuroshitsuji#black butler#ciel phantomhive#sebastian michaelis#sebaciel#well it's 100% sebaciel for me but you can tag as whatewer you feel like#be crazy and free too#my art
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thinking about how rdr2 is about redemption yes, but also about loyalty to what matters, love of family, and the consequences of both. arthur loved dutch, loved him enough to follow him to hell and back, but not enough to remain blindly loyal when dutch betrayed him and john. he put his love of his brother above the love of his father, because his father taught him well, taught him the importance of family. if not for dutch and hosea raising arthur to believe in the importance of loyalty to what's right, if they had just raised arthur as a mindless outlaw, if they hadn't instilled in him the meaing of family, he likely wouldn't have cared about john enough to betray the man who saved him. for example, bill and javier weren't raised by dutch and hosea like arthur was, but they were loyal to him all the same. they weren't treated like dutch's children like john and arthur were. because the values of family and of right and wrong weren't instilled in them alongside the value of loyalty, they sided with dutch despite his fall from grace and remained blindly devoted to a man who no longer deserved it. but because dutch and hosea taught arthur and john the importance of thinking for themselves and choosing what was truly right as well as the importance of family, they realized that dutch was going down the wrong path and causing senseless deaths with his recklessness, and arthur and john decided they had to leave. arthur knew he was never going to get out, but he at least wanted his little brother to have a semblance of a life away from the gang. he wanted him to have a chance because he loved him, because they were raised together, and because they were raised as a family. dutch had a huge hand in his sons betraying him, not only because he drove them away and betrayed them himself, but because he and hosea raised them right!!
#this is incomprehensible i apologize i'm just incredibly emotional over fictional cowboys today i guess!#len's meta#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#john marston#tag as ship and i steal your kneecaps and block you <3 they are brothers#hosea matthews#dutch van der linde#you can tag as their ship tho imho it's practically canon they're in tragic old man love#rdr2 meta#red dead redemption two#red dead redemption 2 meta#this is really a mess but i doubt i'll be able to distill it into anything more coherent so i'm posting as is#mayhaps i'll be able to write up another rdr2 meta post later that is less messy so stay tuned ig
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it's been a hot sec since i've talked about cyberpunk and i was initially working on a fic that would tell the story of this whole thing, but i've abandoned it many months ago and cannot say when i'll be picking it up again SO! i've decided to instead make this timeline. sorry in advance for how much information is in this thing the cyberpunk extended blorboverse essentially refers to the story parallel to the in-game events of cyberpunk 2077 that @mojaves and i came up with. we don't really have a better name for it but at this point the term has been used so many times that i feel like everyone here knows what it is by now, but at the same time we've never really explained the full scope of what the story is by now (it's a lot sorry). so in an attempt to get you guys a little bit more up to date with it all, here's a semi coherent timeline that describes the core events of the story and every branching story that came out of it! for additional background information, you can check out the following posts (timeline 1 / timeline 2 / timeline 3) to catch up with the continuation of the in-game storyline that's referenced in this timeline, but it's mostly irrelevant to everything here save for a couple of referenced events that cross over between the stories. it all ties together very intricately sorry about that. don't worry too much about it i've included my taglist down below to make sure people who are interested won't miss this post, but feel free to skip over this if it's not your thing! won't be doing a lot of this kind of stuff in the future but i'm trying to get back to the cyberpunk roots so this is kind of like, a good starting point and reference point for later posts!
The story starts in early 2077 and is centered around Sebastian Vidal, gang leader of the Cobras and previous test subject of Arasaka Special Programs (the linked page is a lot of information but gives the most coherent overview of what the branch actually is). The current director of the SERPENT projects, Andrew Colton, and Dr. Alana Cartier, both want him dead, to tie up their last loose end before the rest of Arasaka can find out and shut down Special Programs once and for all.
Over the past months they’ve been hiring various assassins in secret, to try and get Seb killed; however, these assassins keep failing, and their latest attempt lies in the hands of Cassidy Shaffer, an ex-corpo turned assassin with a strong moral code and plenty of experience to his name. With little to work with, as his mysterious client doesn’t give out much information, Cassidy starts with what he thinks is gonna be a quick and easy job– but he ends up hunting after Seb for essentially a year.
During this year, the two men have a series of wild encounters that get more and more insane the longer it goes on; it includes, but is unfortunately not limited to, Cassidy biting off a chunk of Seb’s ear, the two of them running over the highway, the two of them getting handcuffed together and chased by the NCPD then hit by a car right in front of the hospital, and Seb sensually licking blood off Cassidy’s face after having stabbed him when Cassidy wanted to strike at a concert Seb is visiting.
All of it comes to a sudden stop when Cassidy learns his client has been lying to him the whole time, and since he does not appreciate lying clients he ends up jumping sides and teams up with the Cobras to do some cleanup duty in Arasaka Special Programs. He and Seb work together to go after a list of targets to get the still ongoing projects mostly to a halt, while remaining in the shadows themselves as to not draw too much attention their way; and during this collaboration they meet several people from their past, bringing back both good and bad memories.
One of these people is Hanan Chisaka, the Head of Security at Special Programs. She ends up becoming the next test subject of Project Cobra after the last successful subjects, Xavier and Gabriel Mason, end up escaping in the midst of the chaos of Hanako Arasaka’s capture in mid-2077. Once Seb’s best friend and Cassidy’s mentor, she’s now forced to hunt the both of them down; but in their final confrontation she snaps out of the controlled mode Arasaka keeps her in and runs away with them, effectively leaving Special Programs without any test subjects. Another one of these people is Reid Bennett, Cassidy’s ex and ex-coworker back at MaxTac. He still works for the corporation and has been on an ongoing investigation into Arasaka Special Programs; seeing Cassidy alive and well, working together with Seb no less, piques his interest and he continues to look further into the case, which will cause him to make a very big mistake later on in the timeline.
By September 2078, Seb and Cassidy have successfully taken down all their planned targets and retreat back into the shadows, leaving Special Programs with many losses and no test subjects. With the APEX program discontinued a month earlier (incident discussed in this fic, which is a continuation of the in-game events), and Hanako Arasaka recovered and ready to take the corporation back from the hands of her corrupt brother, Special Programs ends up having to retreat for the time being, and cook up a new plan in the background.
Special Programs by this point is run by Andrew Colton, Alana Cartier, and Kaida Akiyama, three players who have been in the game for a long time already in the SERPENT projects’ runtime. Colton and Cartier are married– Cartier used to be married to Seb and cheated on him for a good amount of time when he was still at Arasaka– but their marriage is starting to fall apart. Akiyama has had to watch over Special Ops agent Ambrose Hawthorne for a while during his chase after the Mason twins, which ended up with the twins dead and Hawthorne going into early retirement (Arasaka doesn’t know the twins faked their death and Ambrose is now dating one of them lol), and xe is now determined to help Colton and Cartier get Seb back into Arasaka so the projects can continue.
Cassidy’s initial plan was to leave as soon as the collaboration would come to an end, but he has found his place with the Cobras and instead ends up officially joining them.The next chapter in the story is a more laid-back and easygoing chapter, in which Cassidy learns to be part of real life again, and in which Seb learns to let people get close to him again after spending years trying to convince himself he doesn’t need any help. Over the course of a little over a year (all the way to November 2079), the two grow even closer than they had already done, going on gigs together and, you guessed it, slowly but surely falling in love until they inevitably end up together at the end of it.
Not long after the two get together, Reid returns into Cassidy’s life. He wants to try and be friends again and Cassidy gives him a second chance, though this soon enough turns out to have been a mistake, with Reid trying to create distance between Seb and Cassidy and then going as far as trying to sell Cassidy to Kang Tao (one of the few corporations that have been hunting Cassidy down for a while now) in exchange for his own freedom from MaxTac (where he would have otherwise been stuck at for probably the rest of his life). Naturally, Reid can’t watch Cassidy get tortured for long and leaks his location to the Cobras, who find and free Cassidy and take Reid into captivity instead– he does not get killed, but instead has to sit out some time at a safehouse somewhere in solitude, where he gets to decide what kind of person he wants to be in the future.
This brings us to Elysium; a gorgeous spaceship which was supposed to be a relatively cheap escape from reality for everyone who wanted a refreshing break from Earth, but through Arasaka sponsorship has become just another cash-grab project to compete with the Crystal Palace– and considering the megacorporation has its greasy hands all over it, the secret labs in the spaceship are used for a series of very unethical experiments. Naturally so, it would be the perfect place for Colton to continue his SERPENT projects without the risk of Hanako Arasaka finding out and shutting the place down. He sends forces up to Elysium (obviously after his other attempts at relocating the project to space have failed tremendously, having lost contact with every single crew in the smaller Arasaka stations in orbit around the planet), but since he’s not there himself his cousin (one of the CEOs of Elysium), Maxwell Crane, unbeknownst to Colton, takes control of the SERPENT projects in space instead. From the earlier linked Special Programs page: “Project Eryx used the technology of previous projects, but took a completely new approach in the hosts it used; rather than focusing on the human psyche it attempted to create a new type of cyborg which would lack the humanity that caused previous projects to fail. The Cobra chips were no longer used and the software was instead installed directly onto the host’s mainframe. The flexibility of the new hosts– more robot than human, and in some cases the entire human aspect was lacking altogether– allowed for experimentation with highly advanced cybernetic enhancements and military grade tech and upgrades, turning the test subjects– dubbed ‘prototypes’– into dangerous, unstoppable killing machines.”
Things settle down for Seb and Cassidy, but this moment of peace does not last long. In January 2081 the two find themselves traveling to the spaceship Elysium, to investigate a curious situation in the laboratories– they’ve been hired by Arasaka without their knowledge and it’s a setup to get Cassidy killed and Seb back in Cartier’s control.
While in space, they learn that the secret labs have suffered an outbreak of the above mentioned prototypes. They quickly connect the dots and realize Special Programs is back in the game, and they work together with security guards Aubrey Valentine and Leon dello Russo to try and fix the situation before it gets out of hand. Obviously this fails tremendously and Elysium ends up on a complete lockdown after a ship-wide outbreak, which is eventually contained in late March of that year, with CEO Maxwell Crane dead, leaving only his wife Kinsley Osborn behind.
Elysium continues to exist and is rebuilt after the crisis, and Kinsley Osborn can now finally turn it into the retreat it was always meant to be. Previously, most Elysium employees were to be stuck in space for the rest of their lives; however, with Arasaka out of the picture they are free to leave as they please, which results in a gigantic cut in total employee count in the months that follow.
Seb and Cassidy return to Night City and take Aubrey and Leon with them. Aubrey reunites with his sisters; Becca, James, and Rikki, and soon after his return to the city he opens an LGBTQ+ nightclub called Bodytalk with them, found Downtown, City Center, in June 2081. Not only is it a fun place to hang out at, it’s also his main hub as a fixer, and he starts a collaboration with the Cobras to get business going between the gang and the club; and soon enough it grows into a large and powerful network of connections, which is the foundation on which the rest of the stories are built.
After this point in time, many many more things happen but it would take me another hour or ten to go into full detail of all of that, so instead here’s a quick rundown of some of the other things that Bodytalk gets involved in:
Reid Bennett is handed over to Aubrey and he starts working at the club, and he becomes a very valued employee as well as a good friend to many now that he’s no longer fucking insane
Kaida Akiyama returns from Elysium and shows up to Hanan’s doorstep, to ask for her help with getting out of Arasaka for good; much later on, xe starts working for Bodytalk as well, in an attempt to put xyr past behind xem and become a better person
Urban Dynamite starts performing at the club regularly, and it becomes their home base
Luna Serratos, Cassidy’s ripperdoc friend from all the way back to killing era, gets involved in the Harbinger case from Maelstrom (one of the gang’s most feared members); turns out the Harbinger is in fact Reuben de la Rosa, a by then 22-year-old kid who has ended up in Luna’s care with his friend Noah Telavera after the two got caught up in an explosion. She requests the Cobras’ help with getting Maelstrom to let Reuben go
Officer Michele Diaz from Militech (who used to be Cassidy’s boss) is demoted following the lawsuits after the Elysium incident, and her investigation into the incident in hopes to get her job back leads her to Bodytalk; she begins threatening them and sends the whole club and their allies into uncertain times
Many people get married. There’s so many fucking guys here we went a little insane with the numbers but there’s several weddings and there’s a whole polycule going on too feel free to send asks about this if you’re interested
Cobra Cybernetics releases a new line of cyberware, which is incredibly buggy and dangerous to the public; it’s brought to the club’s attention and it makes them realize that Luiza Vidal (Seb’s sister), who not that long ago asked them to kill her husband (William Colton (Andrew’s brother), CEO of Cobra Cybernetics), has gone missing; they now need to get involved without getting the news out that they actually didn’t kill William and that he is still alive somewhere, while also balancing out dynamics between Biotechnica (angry at Cobra Cybernetics for stealing their designs) and Arasaka (the actual reason why Cobra Cybernetics’ designs look like Biotechnica’s designs, because William stole designs from Special Programs after halting their partnership after the Elysium incident, but these designs had been stolen by Arthur Jenkins from Biotechnica even BEFORE that to be able to hijack the European Space Council’s cybernetics following the Frankfurt incident. Are you still with me)
Vitali Dobrynin (fixer and main character from the in-game events storyline and the continuation of it; Vincent “V” Mayer’s boyfriend) ends up visiting Bodytalk after meeting Aubrey at a Fixer Council meeting, which happens in late 2083; this essentially ties the two main storylines together, which means that yes, a lot of the characters from the two separate storylines end up meeting :]
Officer Ulysses Dimakos (used to work with Reid at MaxTac) is sent to investigate Bodytalk following the Cobra Cybernetics scandal, and ends up teaming up with the club to get MaxTac on a dead trail in exchange for his freedom of the corporation
On top of the Bodytalk / Cobras centered storyline, there’s a couple of side stories that are still connected to the whole thing but are more of a standalone thing with only a few touching points to the rest of it all:
This obviously takes place a lot earlier because it’s already mentioned above, but Special Ops agent Ambrose Hawthorne is tasked with chasing after the escaped Mason twins; naturally he lets them go and ends up going into retirement, and Xavier Mason later on ends up becoming Bodytalk’s part-time repair guy on account of knowing Kaida
Gabriel Mason ends up in a car crash with retired security specialist Ames Ortega, who was also in Elysium during the incidents there, and the two end up babysitting Ambrose and Xavier’s kids together while those two are helping Hanan with getting Kaida out of Arasaka (Are you still with me. Blink if you can hear me)
Mercenary Frankie Sayyad gets a promotion from his fixer, Vulture (real name Diana Crane, Maxwell Crane’s older sister and cousin of the Coltons), and becomes one of her Bloodhounds; he works together with Evelyn Harris, Nimue Nkuna, and Beckett Rydel, the latter being one of the very first test subjects of Arasaka Special Programs, and the four accidentally get themselves mixed into a mystery concerning their secretive fixer
Caleb Harris, ex-security at Biotechnica, ends up back at Club Bodytalk not long after the conclusion of the Cobra Cybernetics scandal, and starts working for Aubrey; he is partnered up with Ramiel Al-Masri, a mercenary who has been working for Vitali Dobrynin for a while and has recently joined Aubrey’s mercenary roster too, and together they dive into a series of gigs neither of them had expected
Journalist Bodhi Shankar has finally found more evidence and information surrounding the mysterious cult gang Umbra and its so-called Prophet, Thiago Salazar; however, his antics have led to him accidentally becoming part of the gang himself, and he has to figure out a way to get Thiago to stop listening to the supposed deity that the gang worships known as Scintilla, before she makes him do things that will get many people killed
taglist (opt in/out)
@velocitic, @deadrlngers, @euryalex, @ordinarymaine, @gurathins;
@mojaves, @shellibisshe, @dickytwister, @mnwlk, @rindemption;
@ncytiri, @calenhads, @noirapocalypto, @florbelles, @radioactiveshitstorm;
@strafethesesinners, @fashionablyfyrdraaca, @aemondtargeryen, @radioactive-synth, @katsigian;
@estevnys, @elgaravel, @aezyrraeshh, @carlosoliveiraa
#nuclearwriting#timeline tag#this is really lengthy so again if you don't wanna go through all that i can respect that WBHSNGJFDHGDFJG just wanted to like#show that no i am NOT dead i have in fact been yelling about my ocs basically every single day since the last piece of writing i posted#but it's all in intricate rituals between me and my bf that as you can see results into. so much information. that's only barely coherent#i could go into entirely more detail is the thing. i could very easily go into entirely more detail because you see#we have encounters written out for killing era. all encounters. they're all there#we have separate timelines for the bigger events like the elysium arc and the maelstrom arc and the militech arc#the whole thing with cobra cybernetics is a buildup that dates back all the way to fucking 2072 and then happens in 2083/84#the colton/crane family dynamics are a whole bookwork of information on its own#then there's the whole polycule that's gotten. a little out of hand i'll admit but it's COHERENT i made a VISUAL for it#there's years worth of history between SO many of these characters that can all be analyzed and picked apart personally#there's the whole side stories going on with ambrose and the mason twins and the bloodhounds and umbra#the whole elysium incident on its own is a horror freakshow that would do numbers on here. i'm telling you#BASICALLY WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS. IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT LITERALLY ANYTHING#PLEASE COME INTO MY INBOX OR IN ANDY'S INBOX WE LOVE TALKING ABOUT THIS STUFF#THERE'S SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE AN INSANE AMOUNT OF OCS FOR IT AND WE'RE STILL MAKING MORE#ELYSIUM HAS A WHOLE CREW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE MADE UP A WHOLE CREW FOR ITTBHGFJNBHGJKSDGDSNGJDSG#I'M NORMAL
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I always found it slightly awkward how media makes siblings or people who see each other as siblings call each other brother/sister all the time as in real life you almost never see people do that with their own siblings (maybe someone out there like that)
In the case of Arkham Shadows I see why they did though because Bruce quite literally tells Harvey he loves him and Harvey says it back. Can't have the audience think Batman is in love with the DA.
They had Bruce pay for his college, pay for his campaign, pay for his surgery, pay for his therapy and had Harvey have him as his best man at his wedding. Wow..... Sugar baby Harvey is real.....
The calling sibling title thing is less common in English than in some other languages for sure- me and a couple of my siblings do it on occasion, but it's for a bit then. More common is when I call one of my close family friends "my sister" or "my nephew" when talking about them to someone else because it's faster and easier to say that than to say "my friend who I've known since she was born and lived with for a few years and consider a little sister" or "child of a close family friend who considers me an aunt" to someone who doesn't know them. Which is a lot of words to say that if they wanted to fully sell me on the brothers thing they should have either had a different bit or should have referred to the other as "my brother" when talking to an unrelated character instead.
But "oh no we have to make Bruce not look gay" has been a problem DC has struggled with more than once for many decades and it basically never works so I guess at least they didn't try to solve it this time by having Bruce pick a lady love over Harvey or cutting the holding hands thing
Because I saw that scrapbook! I know Harvey has been Bruce's sugar baby since he was ten years old! But we can't have Bruce take Harvey's hand and call him the love of his life because ok technically that's Gotham but also because gay. And we can't have Bruce take Harvey's hand and call him his best friend because they're not ten anymore and somehow that seems gay also. So brothers it is, I guess. Even if I think my brothers would bite my finger if I ever tried to pay for everything for them on that scale, guess it's different at billionaire levels
#I'm actually simultaneously a believer in grew up like brothers and absolutely down bad romantically#(and harvey as a representation of Gotham itself as a love)#like an election in two (three) positions at once#but the point remains- you can't really fully cover the care by slapping a brother label on it like dc tries to to avoid it being too gay ig#which is very funny because did you see all the bi Tim and Dick stuff in Gotham Knights- but Robin has always had more freedom than Batman#in the 'can we let anyone think he's anything other than totally straight' department#anyway now I'm thinking about how on earth-3 all the characters get a morality flip#but Two Face/Three Face is the only one i can think of who gets a gender flip as well#as if 'oh if we had just originally conceived of Dent as a woman it would have been better (morally) because then it wouldn't have ended up#looking so gay'#but no they did not explore that thread because apparently uh having love interests in the joker and riddler was more important#which you'd think should reflect back on standard issue harv eddy and clown but uh. not really no they don't want to admit it#and i suppose 'well no three face wouldn't have a thing for owlman because he's technically not a version of Bruce he's a version of b's#brother'#but like then again. if Harvey is his brother. then shouldn't something have been used there to connect it#in any way at all#but no#instead I'm left with many thoughts about Harvey as a brother as a lover as a personification of gotham and as a woman but#i am still very sleepy rn so i don't know how many of those thoughts are coherent#but all that to say#YEAH SUGAR BABY HARVEY#guess it wouldn't be comforting for Harvey to shakily ask what he is#and Bruce to answer 'you're my companion who i turn to for affection in and give you obscene amounts of money in turn'#but like. it also wouldn't have been incorrect.#... though 'sugar baby harv as part of the representation of Gotham itself' probably has something to it too#but i digress I'm sleepy#pocket talks to people#anon#* i meant 'electron' not 'election' in that earlier tag
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Might not be exactly what you asked for but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go into more depth about the bf and pico drawing with the kinto pet song lyrics 🙏🙏🙏🙏 it has haunted me in a good way and I will explode without more
UR MORE THAN FINE DWWW it's easier for me to ask for prompts but I LOVE ASKS IN GENERAL I like getting to ramble. Forever and always if you see me post something and you want me to elaborate on it/ have specific questions/ literally whatever PLEASE DON'T BE SCARED TO SEND AN ASK IN !!!
okay needed that out of the way first LOLLLLL
The like. Images I get in my head when I listen to this song drive me insane like this was just me putting it into one image but I could deadass do a full PMV if I had the time.
Obvi I prefer to draw in a more Funkin'-influenced style, but esp. with how Pico is drawn I hope it's clear I was leaning into the Pico's School side of things.
(continuing under a cut because I am about to Ramble)
I don't think I was consciously thinking abt it the other night BUT at least the first verse makes me think. Of the Love Conquers All version of Pico's School. An ideal ending; Cassandra is convinced not to carry out her plan, nobody dies, Pico certainly wouldn't be Going Through It. Maybe in this ideal ending they (Pico & BF) wouldn't have split. "In this world, we're friends forever".
I also imagine it as like.. basically how the art I did ended up being. They're just black lines on a white background. Faces obscured. Maybe with some visual effects that distort things too/ some pixelation whatever. I actually think I was planning to have some parts of that pixelated but forgot by the time I was home and could draw; might have been for the best but here's a version with a biit of what I'm talking abt.
They're in a void. Separate from the real world, but happy. Stuck in a loop of the happiest time of their lives (mostly thinking from Pico's perspective with that lol). Is that not better than having to continue on in a fucked reality?
Of course, that's not real. It's just an imaginary loop of "what if"s in Pico's mind. It's a world he built for Boyf.
In this world, Boyfriend is always following with Pico, always showing him kindness and always smiling. Pico's emotions are less readable; maybe in a proper PMV I'd give him his mouth too so he can show he is at least somewhat happy, but despite being the "leader" of the two, he is much more passive, reserved. They are always holding each other's hands.
Verse 2 would be the inverse (lol), signaled by the stronger beats kicking in. White lines on black background. It's no longer the ideal world, and instead the "real world". Real, but distorted by trauma. "Inside my code, you'll always be". The world Cass built for Pico.
The bit of instrumental between verses 2 & 3 would be the Real real world, going forward to when FNF would take place; Pico and Boyfriend reconnected, through less than ideal means, though reconnected nontheless.
We're back to black lines on white background, but everything's less distorted. There's more details too, the world not just being a hazy backdrop for Pico and Boyfriend to play around in, but real.
He's different from Pico's memories, obviously, drawn now in the FNF style fully. More confident, still stupid. He has Girlfriend now.
The first 2 lines of verse 3, his imagined worlds and the real world melt together. Mixed in ways that highlight a feeling of off-ness. Everything feels strange, distorted, unreal.
The last 2 lines it's just Pico and Boyfriend hanging out alone. "All that's left is me and you/Lots of fun that we can do". Boyfriend cheery as ever, while Pico is visibly nervous-- uncharacteristic for him but we don't see if Boyfriend notices.
The strong beat kicking in again sends us back to the imagined world. The good world. But things are wrong. The real world is slipping in, things are no longer stagnant; no longer perfect. Visual distortions/ glitches worsen.
Pico could delude himself when he hadn't known where Boyfriend was; now that he's back, his world warps. No longer under his control. He is not in the lead.
The first half of the outro Boyfriend is still mostly playing along, though still seems to be growing disinterested. Pico is noticably anxious, clearly seeing how the other is no longer like a puppy at his side. Boyfriend is pulling away. Why is he pulling away, when everything's "perfect"? Why is everything going wrong. "The world I built, designed for you".
The second half of the outro, Boyfriend is now actively pulling away. He no longer looks like the idealized, young Boyfriend. He's older, a stranger, he doesn't care for Pico anymore. Pico is older now too, desperately holding on to Boyfriend. Unwilling to let him go again, first in the real world and now in his mind. Boyfriend refuses to hold his hand but Pico still grips onto his arm. Their eyes finally become visible in the imagined world.
Pico's behavior mirrors Cassandra's involvement in the second verse, though unintentionally violent as opposed to her intentional violence. He's selfish, desperate to hold on to his world; to Boyfriend. He's hurting the imagined Boyfriend in the process, but that is second in his mind to him so desperately trying to avoid a second heartbreak. Anything to keep his world together, his peace. Without it, he just has the dark.
Beyond this screen, you cannot leave Inside my code, you'll always be Endless fun that we can do In a world I built for you
In the final instrumental and as the song fades out, Pico wakes up. He's shaken, disgusted by how he acted in his mind and feeling like he's nothing but an anchor to Boyfriend, holding him back. He can't keep clinging to this false reality, nor can he pretend he's doing any good by being in Boyfriend's life again. His mind is made up.
...
LOL I hope the way I summarized The Thoughts I get paints the picture I get in my mind. I've got terminal artist brain I am imagining AMVs to near everything I listen to I am not joking; had to take a break halfway through typing this to walk around a store and I was looping KATAMARI by femtanyl for like half of it imagining an edit in my head. I can imagine anything jpeg.
I wanna very much stress that all that above would have been filtered through Pico's mind. He's not actively hurting Boyfriend, but he's fucking terrified of doing so and he feels so fucking guilty for continuing to hold on to the past they had. I guess it wouldn't be apparent from what I described but he'd also feel guilty for still having feelings for him when the other has moved on and even has a girlfriend.
His world, once his perfect escape from the anguish of his reality, corrupts as he feels worse and worse over even entertaining the thoughts. Him deciding to forget his world and, in turn, go to cut off Boyfriend for the other's sake is not based on objective reality, but an act of self-sabotage that he convinces himself to be the best outcome for everybody.
^ Literally included him doing this shit in a part of that last fic I did you can tell this is something I find interesting exploring with him.
The tone of the song too just fucking.. it adds to the eeriness I'd want out of a proper PMV of this idea. The way it's clearly an homage to the IBM 7094 singing Daisy Bell; the voice and instrumentals just feel so unnerving. Sweet and innocent on the surface, but clearly holding bad intentions. Maybe not intentionally bad, maybe misguided good even, but they are not good nor sweet nor kind. I am talking about the song on it's own divorced from it being from KinitoPET what I describe here is just the feelings it gives me in regards to my favies.
Anyways uhhhh god I could go on for hours but I've been going off for long enough I'm sorry to anyone reading this who had to sit through my insanity. My head is now lighter with this information shared tho.. I guess in conclusion: I am definitely normal and neurotypical and can be trusted to listen to music and be into my games without creating the most devastating ideas known to man. xoxo
#ramblings#fnf#friday night funkin#pico x boyfriend#picobf#im not tagging it more than that#anyways here you go anon! i hope it doesn't haunt you worse now but if it does then i guess i'm not alone#you could make a fic out of this concept honestly im just animatorbrained so i'd execute this best as a pmv#and i am so bad at getting animations done. despite being a fuckin animator#i am going to work on something lighthearted now ^_^ /LH I GENUINELY ENJOYED TALKING ABOUT THIS IM ALSO LIKE#IN TURMOIL AFTER DESCRIBING EVERYTHING IN THE BEST DETAIL I CAN MUSTER#i should also say the strongest ideas i had were verses 1 & 2 and the end (second half of the outro & the final instrumental)#a lot of the amvs in my head have highlight points and the parts in between them are fuzzy and malleable. i tried to get this#to be a coherent plot for the sake of summarization. if anything feels confusing assume that its cuz its a more fuzzy detail in my#mind but im also open to followup questions. teehee
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#i'm gonna keep this rant in the tags bc it won't be as coherent as i'd like it to be#i played the new es and the writing was nice#but what bothers me is the pervasiveness of the christian ideology without the acknowledgement of every single other ideology#like the story itself could be very cool#if only it wasn't yet another christian conundrum#interesting concept in theory but like. i have had Enough#and i know this is a very personal bias bc every church related narrative feels like a cult narrative (derogatory) to me#i did appreciate the neutral choices through the story and the parabolan lore tho#once again this is not an elaborate rant i just wanted to say my immediate thoughts on this#from a very personal point of view#that said i did enjoy the writing style and i always like the rats#not tagging this as anything i don't want to spam the main tag
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Oldrivalshipping (anime Gary x Leaf) is actually hilarious to me. I love that Leaf was just an honorary pokeani character in 2009 for literally no reason. She was like a collective fandomwide OC of sorts
#like she had a semi-coherent 'canon' interpretation that people went with somehow#i've never seen anything quite like that happen in a fandom before or since. goncharov is genuinely the closest I can think of.#actually nvm i think undertale fans sort of did something similar with frisk/chara/one of those ones idk but still#there's also amusement in the fact that pair-the-spare-ism was so strong back in the ps cs is days#that everyone just collectively made up a girlfriend for gary#that's not a criticism. i'm multiship. i've read some good ors whilst in the cs ffn trenches#it's just incredibly funny to me#like 'ah shit guys how do we make him straight' /j#pokeani#taylor's tag
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Why is every SINGLE persona/joker/p5 protag variant tag secretly an akeshu/shuake tag ToT. Like seriously it's ALL SHUAKE.
Howwwwww but most importantly... Why.
#Stg I'm going to have to block the tag to get anything coherent out of it lol#Shame because I don't actually mind the tag all that much#It's just. Everywhere#p5#persona 5
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"what is their favorite meal like?? you can answer anyone but I'm in particular asking about papyrus and ht papyrus"
So tbth I tend to be pretty bad at favorite food hc bc I pretty much love all food and struggle to really determine what kind of food prefs characters would have, so I'll usually just completely make stuff up, which is nyot how I usually do things!! Of course w/ some of the UT characters thankfully we do have SOME input of their canon preferences...
However. As is the way w/ most things Papyrus I have thought abt the implications of the QnA waaay too much. As we know Flowey states Papyrus' favorite food to be dinosaur egg oatmeal, whereas nobody else knew and Papyrus himself stated not remembering. We also know, despite fandom portrayal, Papyrus has never actually eaten his own spaghetti, so we don't really know his thoughts on it.
The trick with Papyrus is that he lies all the time. He lies all the time! So does Flowey actually know his favorite? Or does he just think he does? Maybe he just made it up to sound knowledgeable. Flowey also lies (but possibly less so, or at least less smoothly than Papyrus, since usually Flowey will eventually state if he'd lied).
As a big fan of oatmeal myself, I do like to believe this is true, though, and it's fun to imagine that, while his favorite remains the dinosaur egg kind, that he gets very excited about the variety of other flavors once surfacing.
^ longest winded way possible to say that I like to hc Papyrus' fave food is oatmeal, BUT. I also like to imagine he likes fruity flavors, too! Like blueberry pecan or strawberries and crème <3
As for ht Papyrus, my interp Dove, I generally imagine having lived through a famine, amongst other things lol, it really changes the way you perceive food. While I definitely can't relate on that front, I do have experience having an incredibly limited diet bc of health reasons for several years. And now, I've always been a little bit of a """foodie""" (I really wanted to be a chef for most of my childhood), but coming out of that, I can say the way I perceive and appreciate food is undoubtedly different.
So with all of that completely unnecessary context, I imagine the types of foods and flavors Dove tends towards are very rich and rounded flavors, as opposed to how I'd imagine UT Papyrus seeks out brighter, sharper flavors. Not necessarily heavy, as I do still believe he'd be opposed to particularly greasy foods, but hearty stews, casserole type dishes, slow cooked oatmeal, rice pudding, you know what I mean? Probably mostly things that cook for a long time, things that thicken and develop complex flavors.
And, body willing when the chronic pain isn't too bad, I think he'd really enjoy making things as much from scratch as possible. I definitely think he’s more of a chef than a baker or patissier, so he tends toward savory more often than not, and avoids meats usually (not always an issue, but sometimes a strong aversion), so he'd probably cook a lot with rice and potatoes, all sorts of them and other root vegetables or squash.
I can't say I think he'd have any singular favorite food, but he would probably say all sorts of dishes are his favorites if he can smell them or is making it atm lol
I knooow you said I could add Papyri but I'm still going to apologize for this lmao, but I'm sorry, I have to add him or I'll Die / j but the aforementioned stuff I added abt my own experiences has really influenced how I write UF Papyrus post surfacing.
I've always been fond of the idea of things being worse in UF's underground in technical aspects too, like the CORE not functioning as well amongst other things that can cause complications in supply chains and production of necessary things, including food. Growing up with food scarcity constantly waxing and waning and never really ever being definably good wound up stunting most monsters knowledge of food.
So, suffice to say, once surfaced, there's a whole world of new things to discover and try and learn about. It's such a different experience than with HT, where they did have a reliable source of food and access to information about it, lost it, and then got it back (though I'm sure there still was plenty new stuff all the same).
Like, could you imagine having only ever seeing two colours for most of your life, and then seeing everything in full spectrum? So that's a driving force in what gets Edge so invested in cooking and baking. More than anything he wants to learn. It's exciting! And he can finally provide the ones he cares about with a surplus of high quality, well prepared nourishment. It's wild!
So similarly, he wouldn't really be able to choose one singular dish (might even say smth silly abt having to try every dish in the world before knowing for sure)...though I do love to hc that he has and always will have a soft spot for oatmeal made with a little honey and cinnamon <3
#sorry I cant say a normal amount about anything ever#also impacted by the fact I keep dipping in and out of consciousness#👍#I didn't put an @ just in case for. some reason??? idk why I just thought you might not want to be tagged??? I'm insane today so idk#but also ty for the q sorry I inject uf papyrus into. everything#he’s so intrusive#sun spots#alsojnpie#undertale papyrus#ut rus#ht dove#horrortale papyrus#underfell papyrus#uf edge#I might rewrite this post another time once I'm more coherent perhaps
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**(Trigger warning: SA mention(ed once))**
Idk how to start these kinds of posts, so I'm going to start off with my thoughts about the situation, because I'm at my breaking point.
First off, I'd like to say how fucking pissed I am to see people harassing and sending death threats to others for liking a character from Outlast, where pretty much *everyone is fucking horrible.* I'm assuming the people who do so are not used to fandoms like Outlast, but oh my god it's gone way too far. Why harass someone for liking a fictional character?
On that note, I'd like to discuss Coyle a little bit, concerning the people who have admitted to liking him openly getting harassed. I like him. I have ever since the closed beta came out. Most of us are aware that he's a horrible person, but so many of you think that we like him because of the things he's done, when no, that's not the case. We don't like him because he was a Klan member, we don't like him because he is a domestic abuser. Most of us like him because he's an attractive character, and he has an interesting story. People might just like him because he's their type. it doesn't have to go any deeper than that. Can't we like horrible characters anymore without being harassed?
Also, a lot of these people who seem to think that we like him because of the things he's done, seem to think that because we like him, it means it *must* align with our morals, when no, that's not how that works. I'm not entirely sure if these people are that stupid, or they just refuse to use their brains. I have seen someone call people who like Coyle racist over little to no evidence, it's just because they think that he's a disgusting character, it must mean that anyone who likes him is the same way. That's just stupid. Plain stupid.
Now, my personal thoughts about Coyle because I've been keeping them all bottled up.
As someone who's liked him ever since the closed beta, I can tell you that I fell in love with him *before* his lore was released. At the time, all I knew was that he SA'd people and was sadistic. When his lore *did* finally came out, I legitimately felt heartbroken. So I can tell you with complete certainty, that most people who *do* like him, don't like him because of the terrible things he's done, it's because we were just attracted to his character. And also, I've seen some people say that we should just stop being connected/loving him because of his backstory. I can tell you right now, that that's not how it fucking works. You can't just cut yourself off from a character immediately, especially if you're extremely connected to the said character.
And to the people saying that we "romanticize", "sexualize", and "glorify" Coyle (I'm using Coyle as another example, because that's pretty much all I see mentioned when people complain, besides the few people who complain about Eddie simps/stans), we don't do that by simply ignoring what he's done. We do realize he's bad, and we don't need to hyperfocus on those specific traits of his backstory or character. We also aren't saying anything he has done or does is a good thing that should be followed, we are simply ignoring those parts because they aren't really plot-important, nor do they really need attention.
Now.... Considering that the people have been harassing (indirectly or directly I don't care) others have liked and posted characters such as Nurse Sally and Val, I don't think their opinions are the most valid. I might be wrong, please correct me if I am. People who have attachments to/are attracted to a horrible character aren't immediately horrible themselves. I can promise you, most people who like horrible, disgusting characters aren't like them at all.
Now about the Proshipper bs, I'm not going to talk about that, because I have little knowledge about it. About Dead Dove fics on the other hand, nobody is forcing you to read those fics. It's completely *your* fault for not reading the tags in advance, it's not the writers' or other consumers' fault. Dead Dove literally means that there are going to be dark subjects in the fanfic, don't complain once you read it and see dark subjects like the tag had told you beforehand.
Coyle himself, is a terrible, *terrible* man. But that doesn't mean we have to focus on him being horrible *all* the time. There are plenty of characters who are almost exactly the same, or are worse. You can't control or police who other people can love vs who they can't, especially not in the outlast fandom, where most of the characters are horrible in their own right. You may not be into certain characters, but that doesn't mean you can harass and send death threats to others who do.
(I apologize if this wasn't as coherent as I hoped :'))
#outlast#I've been fucking livid for months about this shit#Any criticism will be helpful#Because i'm still heated rn#I'm sorry if I'm not being coherent#Why are fans of certain characters getting flammed for liking someone terrible in a fandom where everyone is bad to some degree#Why are we telling people that what characters they like align with their actual morals#I'm aware I might get threats and harassment myself#I'm also aware I might get certain people pissy#Let people like the characters they want as long as they're not breaking the law#I might add other tags later on#Might edit this post later if I remember anything else#This was my first fucking post omfg#the outlast trials
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Fantasistia SQUAD Kaito would be the cg and/or father figure ever. He's a combination of VBS's (goofy dad) and WxS (somehow a big brother a mom and a dad all at once)'s and is meant for a group where half of them have bad relationships with their actual fathers and one was neglected by theirs. Get these kids the dad ever
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my notes on drawing faces, but especially the eyes. hope the lightings not too bad and these pics are readable.
#art#artists on tumblr#my art#traditional art#doodle#art notes#eyes ended up being most of the focus because to me theyre what draws the most of my attention when i look ats a face#also i didn't emphasize it too much in my notes but like#draw eyebrows. if you're trying to draw a human face and it unintentionally feels off for some reason#its because you forgot to draw eyebrows#i see this happen a lot in the work of people who are beginning to draw more seriously#and i think its because like people accept anything as a basic face as long as it looks like eyes and a mouth#yknow. parelidolia. its obviously not human but its simple enough to be endearing#however if you try to draw just a more detailed mouth with a more detailed pair of eyes#its creepy because the realism brings out the awareness that its so close to being human but isnt#beginners unconsciously apply basic face workings to a more detailed face probably because theyre used to drawing simple smiley faces#but the things is that a basic face doesnt work the same as a more detailed face. and then their art gets uncanny valley.#eyebrows complete a face and make it more likeable. there are various reasons that a character might not have eyebrows tho. for example:#emphasizing nonhuman traits (evil or robot or animal)/hidden behind bangs/character just doesnt have any/art style#+ i don't know / i'm bald / any other miscellaneous infinitely nuanced answer#*tags edited to make them marginally more coherent
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this bitch has been bloody for approximately 15 fast and furious years
#hey look it's Lyoka's ancestor#why yes I did have a Speed Racer OC who was also an idealized self-insert. that's just how childhood hyperfixations go don't they.#kinda want to redesign her and give her a whole new story with a very different dynamic with one's car.#but gotta respect the roots either way.#art tag#btw if anything this is a prime example of the fact that I'm consistent#that was one of my first coherent drawings with plot and full effort put in#and immediately I made her dirty and bloody
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I made the comment of "what are trains if not dragons in disguise" while reading Les Mis (in the book it was talking about conquering the elements [water/hydras with the steamship, air/griffins with the hot-air balloon, and it didn't mention what fire/dragons were conquered but I assumed it to be a train] but this is especially funny to me now that Javert got compared to a train in his LITERALLY ENTITLED "DERAILMENT" CHAPTER and he threw himself into the opposite element)
me when he burns w/ a passion that was never banked but now must drown and the other is quick and quiet and escaping through your fingers like a river and must be dried up completely-- they are literally yin and yang valjean is associated with fire in how he kept himself alive with a passion and his candles by his deathbed but he's like water at heart with nourishing his loved ones but too much can stifle growth and not enough will cause death so he dried himself out to die and javert is always associated with water in the blue of the state and how he died by drowning but he's got a heart of fire that had to be doused to die out
(slams the top of their heads) do you see my vision
#is this anything#my writing#rea rambles#shut up rea#no I'm not tagging this if you find it you find it /jov#edit; tagging it since I think its safe to do so#les mis#I made this post on a different site and needed to archive it so it's going on my art account I GUESS#I'm not especially sure if this is especially coherent but it's going out there. It makes sense. to me.#in other news I'm normal about old men and tragedy and especially tragic toxic yaoi#rea rambles in the tags#rea’s trash
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i wanna get into ORV but i still don’t understand it 😭😭
CACKLES SO FUCKING LOUDLY (Caps: cackles so fucking loudly). Ahem. [cracks knuckles]
Okay so ORV (Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint) is a webnovel which is currently being adapted into a webtoon, and I really enjoy both!! But if I had to pick one, it's the webnovel no question <3 I talked about accessing both here!
I went into it completely and entirely blind except for the main character's name, which was probably the best thing I've done for myself all year, but my summary for you (which I had to stop myself halfway through and cut down for size THRICE):
ORV follows Kim Dokja, an isolated and lonely office worker whose contract is expiring and whose only (and I mean only) joy in life is a massively long, horrendously convoluted webnovel called "Three Ways to Survive in a Ruined World". He is the only reader in the entire world of this novel, as everyone else had long since fallen off about ten chapters in due to the fact that it fucking sucks-- but that means that when his subway ride home is interrupted by the world ending in exactly the way it does in his favorite story, he's also the person with the best chance in all the world to see the apocalypse through to a happy ending.
The novel, as indicated by the title and premise, is SO meta, and never in a cheesy or grating way-- ORV chews you up and spits you out with how incisively, brilliantly, and beautifully it works its themes, and every single character and character dynamic will grip you by the motherfucking throat. It is the funniest thing I've ever read and I've almost cried about it in public multiple times and I keep zoning out and staring into the middle distance during dinner because I keep having new belated realizations about its ending. It may look long and intimidating, but it doesn't FEEL long because the pacing is incredible, and also it constantly lampshades itself by acknowledging that the in-universe apocalypse is incredibly stupid and by having multiple scenes where the characters lay out past plot points in great detail and then go "wow this sucks and is stupidly overcomplicated." ORV is complex and beyond intelligently written, but it never takes itself too seriously, and it's better for it <3
ORV is hard to explain because it is so much all the time. In the best possible way, half the time it sounds like a fanfic-y fever dream. Kim Dokja IS bisexual and he IS autistic and he IS INSANE. It is impossible to encapsulate because everything I could say about it would fall short of its actuality, and Tumblr functions on recommending things through hyperbole but ORV is literally just like that. ORV is about the power of fiction and it's about meeting your blorbo in the flesh and immediately annoying him so bad he tries to kill you and it's about staggering, world-defying love of every kind and it's about your friends kinkshaming you and it's about learning to live with the fact that you deserve to live. I will, very genuinely, never be the same after reading it. This is the worst rec post in the world and I sincerely apologize. Please read ORV
#I'M SORRY I WASN'T SURE WHAT TO ADDRESS FIRST SO I JUST VOMITED STUFF OUT#you don't understand i'm too volatile about this novel to be trusted to say literally anything coherent about it#but also orv completely fucking defies simple summaries or the mere concept of conciseness#so this took me. like. embarrassingly long to write. let's not talk about how long exactly#aw hey fuck this i had a TON of further tags written and then tumblr somehow nested a tag within another and had an UNHOLY meltdown on me#i am truly too tired to rewrite them all :(#so i'll leave off by saying: it's a truly gorgeous story#PLEASE give it a try-- and let me know if you do!!!#blaquesails#asks#kay talks#honestly i'm sorry again this is so so so long and you got the SHORT version of the summary 😭😭😭😭😭#orv rec tag
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i should be asleep but i found a quiz and
i feel seen and i Do Not Like It
#which ao3 tag are you quiz#if any of my friends see this i swear i'm not trying to ignore you or anything#i just know if i talk to you rn i won't be getting any sleep at all since i love talking to you guys so much#am i even making sense#i need sleep#god please let me rest tonight#i cannot recharge my social battery without sleep#wait do i sound catholic#i'm not religious#this has turned into me rambling#autocorrect is probably the only reason this is even somewhat coherent#i'm gonna turn my phone off now
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