#(need beautful women to comfort her)

[fiberflxwer]

"My goodness—Faye?"

The last time Celica had seen her was just after the war. But her old childhood friend soon returned to Ram, and as Celica settled into her role as queen, the distance between them only grew greater. Though, they haven't been particularly close over the years—not since those days in Ram.

Even so, there is nothing but compassion and concern in the queen's heart as she approaches the injured girl, her wounds having already been treated for the most part. "Are you okay? What happened out there?"

Why are you here? Part of her wants to ask. Did Faye not want to settle down in peacetime? Or did she have intentions on training to become a knight, like Gray and Tobin?

"Oh...hey, Celica."

Faye's voice is soft but holds a hint of shock at the newcomer to her medical tent. Of course, the existence of her queen here is not where the surprise comes from - the villager already had a suspicion before coming and Alm himself told her so. Instead, she'd much rather that Celica ran into her at any time other than now, where Faye lies in bed with her weakness on full display.

"This...?" Faye motions toward the bandaged wound that she was clearly talking about. Instinctually, her hand hovers over to cover it from both hers and Celica's sight. "The mock battle...could have gone better. They never hit me this hard back home...or I don't really remember the pain, I guess."

The dark blonde's smile at her friend (Friend? Are we still friends?) is frail, Faye putting on the best front she can with a throbbing headache. "It was against the blue house...oh, right. Alm's class."

Alm...that's all she can talk about when it comes to the two of them, isn't it?

[readmedia777]

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[vintage-marina]

A woman out of time chapter 3

TW: violence, fighting, suicidal thoughts

Wordcount: 2894

Summary: Reader meets James Norrington for the first time

The Black Pearl

The man had his eyes wide open and some spit flew out of his mouth onto your helmet. You furrowed your brows and tried to make as much space between the strange man and you if that was possible, another head came into your field of vision. He was on the top of his head bald but for some reason he still had hair, he was also dirty. "Hmm, she doesn't look like a witch. So I say you're wrong!'' he didn't stared at you anymore but stared at the other man, his face a few centimeters from the other man. ''No Pintel, she is! I swear on my soul'' ''You don't have one, how could you swear on it?'' ''Because I can!''

Around you you heard murmers and sighing in irritation you said: ''Excuse me,'' they were ignoring you and didn't move a muscle while their staring contest was contuining. You lifted your arms and pushed their heads away, the wood underneath you was creaking while you tried to stand up. Around your arm clung a net and you tried to shrug it off. Hearing the sound of metal made you realise that you were in a dangerous situation, you could see men pointing their guns at you or pointing other weapons. You saw what the others were wearing and you felt ridiculous, it was certain that you were not from here or from this timeline. You wished that you could reach for your weapons, but they were safely tucked underneath your timetravel suit. You had two options or you pressed on a button and revealed your normal suit  that may scare those people around you or you keep this suit on and may risk a heat stroke.

A man was staring at you and had his hands in the air. It was like that he was doing this pose alot, when he noticed that you noticed that he was staring he walked right at you. His arms swung at his sides and he kept staring at you and for the dramatic affect he pulled his eyebrows up. What the hell am I even doing here, you thought to yourself. A meter from you he stopped and he pulled his face toward you and knocked on your helmet. ''Strange thing, don't ya think?'' ''Thanks'' ''No problem lass, what's yer name?'' ''Why do you want to know?'' ''What do ya say?'' You pushed on a button that revealed your face and said it again, his eyes widened in shock but recovered quickly, around you you could hear gasps ''Well can't a gentlemen know the name of a beautiful woman like you hmm? Especially from a beaut like you that fel from the sky, I could almost swore that ye're an angel'' ''It's nurse Y/L/N'' the man with eyeliner smirked and said: ''Yer given name nurse Y/L/N'' ''Y/N, yours?'' ''Captain Jack Sparrow ma'am.'' The first thing that you noticed is that he looked familiar, you squinted your eyes lightly and said to him: ''Do I know you from somewhere?'' ''Well lass if that was the case then I wouldn't ask from yer name, wouldn't I?'' He had a point, the second thing that you noticed is that he had a compass in his hand. You hummed in agreement, while you looked around you saw that the other men (probably the crew from the man that was facing you) were whispering to eachother and looking frightened but still pointing their guns and weapons. In the crowd you spotted a few women, they also pointed their guns at you but the anxious pit in your stomach was lessening while you saw them.

You turned your focus to his crew and said ''Look I'm not here to hurt you and I hope you are not going to hurt me. It was an accident that I landed here and it was not on purpose, I know that you guys have a lot of questions right now and I will answer it if you guarentee that I'm safe here and can stay. Because I have nowhere else to go.'' the man who you learned his name was Jack shrugged his head and said: ''Fair enough, welcome on the Black Pearl lass'' while he said this you heard his crew protesting. What have I done to myself? ''Now if you will, come with me.''

An older man with a beard walked towards Jack and mumbled: ''Jack I know I shouldn't  question you, but I don't think it's a good idea to welcome her on this ship'' You rested your hands on your hips and said: ''You know I can hear you right?'' He ignored you. ''Well that's why I'm in charge isn't it'' and he gave a smile towards the old man. ''Alright then name's Joshamee Gibbs and yours?'' and he held his hand out for you to shake it, you shaked his hand and gave a tight lipped smile ''Y/N Y/L/N.'' ''Now if you don't mind I'm interested in your story so follow me''

You were walking towards his cabin, you admitted his ship was beautiful. He gestured that you could sit down, so you did. You layed your hands in your lap and you asked yourself if you should start or should wait. ''Rum?'' he offered you, ''yes, thank you.'' He gave you a glass of rum and you put it on the table. He sat on the other couch facing you again and you saw that he was bursting from curiosity. ''So, should I start?'' Jack nodded and you continued: ''Alright then, I really don't know where to begin. But what I'm saying should be kept a secret forever and if I know that it's made publicy I'm seriously pissed, you anderstand me?'' ''Aye, me and our crew will keep it a secret,'' ''good.'' ''Alright now I'm starting,'' you took a deep breath and began. ''The world where I came from is in shambles. You probably won 't believe it but an evil creature wiped out half of our population on earth, because it wasn't in 'balance' according to him.'' ''Hold up, an evil creature what do you mean by that? And what do you mean by wiped out half of the population, who could do that?'' ''An alien, extraterrestrials or someone who isn't born on Earth it self. We never thought that anyone could do this, until Thanos came along.'' he choked on his drink and said: ''What the hell mate, ye're saying that those things excist! I never heard of the word alien.'' he mumbeled the last sentence. ''Truth to be told, I didn't believe it either. Until I saw those things, they were disgusting and that man, he was the scariest of them all. I don't even know why I am telling you this, you probably would stab me in the back with this story.'' ''Eh.. probably, but for now not. Ye're telling this because if you didn 't you would look crazy and we would kick you out of our ship and we don't care where, so that's why. But ye're secret is safe with us, if that is what ye're worrying about lass. Now go on with your story, I want to know what happend next.'' You took your glass of rum and sipped it a bit, it was strong but even the strongest liquor in the world couldn't make you drunk and so you explained why you were here.

''So ye're saying that ye 're from the future,  precisely 2023.'' ''Yes that's what I'm trying to tell you,'' ''and you wanted to go to 2012 because..'' ''Because for bringing the people back who were snapped away we needed the Infinity Stones.'' Jack nodded with his head, trying to understand it. ''Whoa, the only thing I can say is whoa'' ''Yeah, I know it's a lot to take in,'' he pointed with a finger and said: ''And you need an Infinity Stone but you can't switch timelines because you have one Pym Particle right? So, you have to search for this 'Infinity Stone' in this time, am I right lass?'' ''Yes you 're completely right, Jack.'' ''It's captain for you lass if you don't want to be kicked out of my crew.''  You let out a laugh and said: ''Alright captain.'' ''I still can't believe ye're from 2023, ya know how many years from now that is?''

Captain Jack Sparrow showed you the way to the womens barracks because although he was a pirate, women did deserve privacy. His arm slung over your shoulder and he said: ''Wait here will ya? I'm going to tell my crew what's goin' on. You will sleep here with the others by the way.''

The following days the crew was becoming less and less suspicious of you but the questions didn't ceaze. They were asking why you were here, how you were here, why the hell you didn't return to your time, who's you engaged to, why you always looked tired and questions about your past that you wern't comfortable with answering. You were sewing torn up clothing while you peered into the horizon, the weather was cold, misty and the night slowly climbed up at the horizon. A shiver ran through your spine. Luckily you wore you leather suit but the other's couldn't say the same. Your thread fel out of your needle and you cursed lightly, your cloved hands picked up the thread and you shut one eye close to focus better on the tiny hole of the needle itself, the first, second and third attempt you failed but the fourth attempt did you succeed.

Then you saw something at out the corner of your eyes, you put your needlework down and peered into the horizon again. You squinted your eyes and you could've swore you saw something moving in the mist. You looked around for a few seconds and you saw that nobody saw what you saw, what didn't strange was. You looked again and then you saw the outline of a ship, right sailing to you. You shouted to signal that what you saw and everyone stopped what they were doing and took their weapons.  They peered into the horizon and a few seconds later they saw it too, ''the damned Navy found us!'' ''Load the cannons!'' ''Stop firing until there is nothin' left of it!'' those three things you could hear before a cannon was fired. You fastened your medpack and took one of your guns of your belt and grapped it for dear life.

The ship of the Navy became parrallel to Jack's ship and the cannon hit the front deck, splinters flew in all dicrections and you saw a few men were blown away by the force. People from both sides were screaming, you felt a rush of wind behind you and at the cornes of your eyes you saw a rope bouncing back to the Navy. You whipped around and where met with the barrel of his pistol, ''surrender pirate and we would not hurt you.'' ''I'm not a pirate,'' you grunted while you took a few steps backwards. In a matter of seconds he could blow your brain out of your skull and actually you did not want that. If he pointed his pistol on another day, a day where your mental health was on it's shittiest, maybe you would welcome it but now? Now, there was a chance to see your best friend again you didn't want to welcome death. You clicked your gun to your belt and yanked his pistol towards you but he didn't let go. He let out a soft grunt and you slapped with your vibranium hand the gun out of his and kicked it away from him. Now he was defenseless and that was the position that you wanted him to be in. Your face was stoic and you clenched your fist and let it hover at your face to create a defence, he followed your step and let out a laugh to mock you. ''What's so funny hm?'' you grunted at him, ''I just can not believe that I am fighting against a woman, should you not work in the kitchen, instead of trying to fight against us, the Navy?'' The glare you gave him hardened and you spat out: ''Stupid man-thing.'' He didn't react well on your insult and lunched towards your jaw, you crouched down to dodge the hit and gave from underneath an uppercut to his instead. His body flew from the force on the deck and he was flat out cold, you picked up his pistol and tossed it towards your crew. You stepped over his body and kicked his ribs for a good measure. You took your gun again from your waistband and shot a few men down from your left. The cannons from both sides didn't stop with shooting and a ring was forming into your brain. You tightly shutted your eyes for a second and rubbed your hand on your forehead in the hope of silencing the ringing noise.

You looked to your right, onto the waters of the sea and onto the ship of the Navy. You saw a few of your crew on it and you were worried that they would be in minority. You ran towards a rope while you were dodging bullets and red coats to your left and right. With your vibranium arm you grabbed the rope tight and gave it a tug.  Firstly you took a few steps backwards and then you ran towards the railing of the Black Pearl. A few Navy man were running at you while some of your crew were running behind them, you shot one in the knee and the other in the shoulder.  You sprung on the railing and you lifted yourself up higher in the rope itself. You were flying into the dark blue sky that was freckled with stars. It honestly reminded you of the time that you went into space and the next thing you knew you sprung onto the deck of the Navy. You rolled over to not injure yourself and stood right up. You ran to the group of men who were surroundering the people you were familiar with, from backwards you grapped a full hand of white hair and yanked a  body to the back and gave an punch to the temple of another man. An opening was created and there you saw Will, Elizabeth and Jack. The Navy men looked surprised that you were here after not hearing you, especially from a certain man. You stood next to Elizabeth and she said: ''How are you not out of breath?'' ''That's not true, I'm a bit out of breath but not so much.''

The fourth of you made a little circle and were shuffeling around, the medpack on your back never felt so heavy on your back. ''You are surrounded Jack give up!'' the man said who gave you a surprised look a few seconds ago, ''you know that man Elizabeth?'' you murmered to her while you pointed your gun at someone's head while they did the same to you. ''Yes, I know him, a little to well..'' she murmered back, a silence fell between you two while you could hear Jack say with a small grin: ''It's actually Captain Jack Sparrow, commodore.'' '' His name is James Norrington and he was my fiancé,'' ''he was your what?'' You were surprised by that information. ''James is not a bad man you know? He is just not Will.''

At this point you saw more men making their way home to their ship again, bloodied but with will power. ''Guys, you have to leave in a few minutes. More and more men are returning to their ships and it will be not longer safe!'' you shouted above the cannon firing. ''What do you mean, you're not staying here alone Y/N!'' you could hear Will scream at you, ''I will manage it, go! A few meters behind you Jack and Will there are a few ropes, use them and return to the Black Pearl!'' You could hear Will and Elizabeth protesting and even you could hear Jack saying that it would be stupid. ''For Gods sake, you're pirates! Are you not suppose to safe your own life? Go! Just go!'' You shot four men into their legs and pushed Will, Elizabeth and Jack towards their opening. The Navy men sprung into action and tried to capture them while they also tried to kill you. Here and there you knocked a few man out but mostly you maked sure that Will, Elizabeth and Jack were in safety. Elizabeth turned her head and shouted almost incoherently: ''We will rescue you Y/N, don't be worried!''

A barrel of a gun was facing you again and you knew that you were outnumbered. The man who was named James Norrington said: ''Surrender now pirate, you are outnumbered, drop your weapons and put your hands before you.'' You carefully laid your guns, your taser and a few knifes on the ground. The man looked strange at them but said nothing of it, he only kicked them carefully away. ''I'm not a pirate,'' you said to him. ''That's what they all say ma'am. Please put your hands before you.'' You did exactly what he said.

[the-hero-of-jk-its-len]

A Flower by Any other name. - Chapter Three: A goddess temporarily kills me.

A.N: And so, we are back!! this chapter is definitely mostly just angst and exposition but in cases like this, it just really is needed, specially with calamity looming in Aster's future.

Reminder: Aster uses he/him pronouns!! You can exchange his name if you want and i won’t mind, and also this isn’t beta’d at all because I have no friends in the LOZ fandom.

Disclaimer: I don’t own The legend of Zelda (gods I wish), the linked universe au or any of the franchises and works I may reference in this fic, this is a work for fans by fans and all credits go to the respective owners.

Summary: Hylia knows no boundaries, Link worries and Aster spits fountain water.

Word Count: 1409 (WOO NEW RECORD)

Warnings: temporary character death, mentions of an infants death, just death in general I guess.

The truth is that there are some experiences out there you can never quite get used to, dying is up there, as was being born or learning to swim for the first time and sinking.

Another thing was the presence of Hylia, as I’m sure all past Zeldas can confirm, the warmth, like an invitation to a comfortable hug, was all consuming, the peace, and sudden flood of hope, of faith, like going home.

But home was gone, and this was just the aura of the goddess I know now that had brought me here in the first place. It was unmistakable, Her presence around me glowed like a candle at midnight, but it also burned hot as the flame in it.

“You’ve come very far child”

Her voice is like bells and crystal, light as a feather and yet sad, like a mourning mother. “Very far indeed, but you know what is to come, as do I”

Then why, I almost wanted to ask, why send me here when the original Zelda had done it all before, why me.

“You ask hard questions y/n”

My eyes almost opened at the sound of the name, of my name, the one I had left behind when I had died, and further refused when I took Aster instead. But more than that, she could hear me, hear my thoughts as clearly as if they were spoken.

“I shall show you then, what would have happened, had I not intervened, child.”

Wait-

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Drowning wasn’t a nice experience, fountain of wisdom or not, chains- no, hands pulled on my legs like bricks, dragging me to a depth I was certain couldn’t be possible, and then, the rush of water, the beat of my heart, it all stopped, looking up to where I knew I should be able to see the opening of the fountain was nothing, nothing but the endless void that surrounded me again.

It was then I finally noticed her by my side. I saw the hair first, blond and slightly wavy, it reminded me of the sun in a way, though it forgot it immediately when she opened her lips to speak.

“Are you quite done child?”

Her tone was reproachful, like a scolding that I took no time to answer “not all of us are used to dying in the regular I suppose”

“Yet, you’ve done it more than most already have you not?”

Ah, she got me there.

“Come then, as spoken before, there is much to show you yet” she said as she walked on the non-existing floor, i followed.

Behind me, or rather, behind her, appeared small monitor-like screens, all of different girls and women through the eras. I saw pirates turned queens and a small sheikah boy become a ruler, alongside them, a hero decked in green or blue.

“In all timelines -” she started speaking as i gave her my full attention “- there has always been a princess to aide the hero, and vice versa, through the help of the royal blood I’ve been reborn many times and all I’ve followed my destiny, and yet, the one I was meant for, passed away at birth”

She guided me to the last monitor, darker than the last few, a girl, a princess, a scientist, all things I remember from Zelda in my playthroughs, and yet I knew for a fact from the way the screen was crumbling into dust, this Zelda had never lived, Hylia had not reincarnated in her like she was meant to, this was nothing but an unfinished prophecy.

“I knew, without Zelda to hold back the calamity, this Hyrule, my beloved beautiful Hyrule, would fall into pieces, which is why -” she pointed to the only other screen in front of her, the picture of the prince I had grown to see in mirrors “- I brought you here in her stead.”

Looking at my hands I couldn’t help but wonder, “why me? Surely there are better candidates, people who have dedicated their entire lives to study the history of Hyrule. Why me?”

“I suppose, that is a fair question to ask, the truth is…”

My ears perked and then fell with her next words, of all responses, no one ever expects.

“That it was only chance”

Ah, so, that was that then, there hadn't been any grand fates, or mystical reasons.

“I see…”

“But, that doesn’t mean you weren’t foreseen”

Now that called to my attention, “foreseen?”

“Indeed, as you will have noticed, the life of every Zelda in the past lives in my memories, physical versions of it around me at all times, had I truly wanted to, I could have fought my way into the child’s body, but someone else had already appeared on my mind, and her body”

Things that had yet to happen flashed before my eyes, the guardians waking up and functioning, Purrah and Robbie working on them as I watched, Link being assigned as my personal knight, and even the champions receiving their tunics, and then, finally, the calamity.

“This, will all happen in two years time, though I believe you knew that already”

I nodded of course, the time I had spent was counted in my mind, making sure events happened as they should, knowing to use every last second I had had to be spent preciously before fate fell into this body.

“Then you must know this too, Aster -” she looked into my eyes “- you have no abilities to use my blessings,” I knew that, of course I did “yet you must, this is why I called to you here, soon, I shall offer you my strength, and you must train it as much as you can, call upon the wisdom that resides in that body of yours and protect Hyrule to the best of your ability”

“Until then, I will be waiting, I’ve kept you too long, but you shall hear from me soon, Goodbye Aster”

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Coughing up water isn’t nice.

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When I woke up I was no longer in the temple, instead it was a warm bedroll that welcomed me in the inside of a cave, a fire bright by my side, and Link fussing over me.

Oh wait, Link was here.

And he was talking too?

I couldn’t understand him yet, I think he knew that too, because after giving up and feeding me something on a spoon he just let me sleep again.

The next time I woke it was morning instead, the fire dead and Link outside the opening of the cave.

Walking closer to where he was and wrapping a blanket on top of me I asked “where are we?”

“Somewhere close to the temple”

I hummed in answer.

And he turned, his voice steady even as his eyes betrayed something between worry and anger, had I been anyone else I could have even missed the fleeing fear “your highness, no, Aster, what were you thinking?”. The question landed on me like a bag of concrete , how was I supposed to answer what had happened? Sorry Link the goddess kidnapped my soul for an impromptu pep talk because I’m actually the reincarnated soul of a nerd? Of course I wasn’t going to say that.

“Do you know how worried I was when I went to check on you, and found your body on the steps of the fountain, floating like you were dead? How did it feel to try and bring you back with no success? How much relief it was to see you cough water even as you fainted?”

The tone of his voice never changed, but I could tell even then everything he meant.

I wanted to say sorry, to explain I wished he had never seen that, what had truly happened, but I couldn’t, because instead of Zelda breaking down over not being able to feel Hylia what he had walked in on was the body of the prince of hyrule, no, more than that, it had been mine, who he had grown up seeing every day since he moved to central hyrule.

But I could do nothing but look at the ground instead, the thoughts of past and future plaguing my head like mosquitoes in summer.

We stayed quiet after that, and arrived at the castle by morning, where I wouldn’t see him for a day, then a week, and a month.

For the first time in years, I was well and truly alone.

[choruscas]

suptober day 10: sweet rides

please let me know if you’d like to be added to my tag list! (or removed if you prefer) it tags you in all my short stories like these so you never miss them!

(THERE WILL BE A PART TWO TO THIS! ONCE IT’S OUT, I’LL EDIT THIS ONE AND LINK TO THE SECOND PART ONCE IT’S FINISHED!)

also, sorry that you’re seeing the earlier days in your feeds! i forgot my writing ipad when i went on vacation this weekend, so I’ve been trying to make up the days i missed! i should catch up soon, i’ve just been incredibly busy!

October 10th, 1890 - Lawrence, Kansas

Castiel drew his breath in as the cold air of fall hit his face. He looked around the town, seeing no signs of anybody out.

Most of them were probably in saloons or shops of some sort, drinking their sorrows away with cheap whiskey and tapping all their fortunes out with gambling.

He had lived in this town his whole life, but downtown he has only recently grown familiar with it.

Two months ago, his parents disappeared from him. And the rest of his family either moved away from Lawrence or were arrested for felony and murder charges. Castiel wasn’t like that. Being the youngest in the Novak family was hard, but he managed. He was the last of the Novak’s and he never made any promises to carry the family name, since he wasn’t interested in women of any kind.

So he wouldn’t. Once he drew his dying and final breath, the Novak’s would be no more.

However, in the meantime, he could make fault of his name. He wasn’t the proudest of being a Novak, but like previously said, he managed.

Walking through the dirt roads, marked with horses hooves and wagon’s wheels after years of use, Castiel found himself at the Roadhouse, like he did every Friday night.

He enjoyed the company there, and the beer was cheap but it was decent. He wasn’t much of a drinker, as his mom had drank her heart out all his life, but alcohol was the norm, so he occasionally had a beer or two.

He went inside, pushing the doors forward to be greeted by Ellen Harvelle, the Roadhouse’s proud owner. She was serving a man, who Castiel had never seen before, with big ears and a long nose.

“Hello Ellen. Is Jo working tonight?” he smiled at her while approaching the counter. Jo Harvelle was younger and was also Ellen’s only daughter.

“Nah.” She shook her head. “She’s got studyin’ so she’s workin’ on that upstairs.”

Castiel nodded and looked around the room, there were the usuals that were normally around, like Bobby Singer with his friend Rufus Turner, Meg Masters (a devil in disguise, ask anybody) and...

Dean Winchester.

Town’s heartthrob. And Castiel would never admittedly say this, but also the only man Castiel had currently sought out for.

About a month ago, Dean’s father had died and so him and his brother moved all the way from Sioux Falls, South Dakota, to Lawrence. He became a regular and were familiar with some of the townspeople, since he had lived there until he was four. His mother had died in the paper’s fire at their house, and so they moved across the country. Since the town was celebrating its thirty-sixth anniversary soon, it meant that the town was still young, and so was Dean. John Winchester — thy boys’ father, was a state-famous cowboy, which gave Dean and his brother Sam a good name.

However, Castiel’s has barely usurped a full-on conversation with the man. Castiel was fairly confident, but pretty boys like Dean made his throat close up. Normally their conversations were around five minutes long, until some girl comes and ushers him away.

Although Castiel has never heard that Dean has gotten lucky with any of the women in the town. Maybe he kept it a secret, or maybe he wasn’t interested in sex. With a body like his, Castiel was surprised he didn’t. He could do so very easily, with anybody in the town who was willing.

“Hey, Cas!�� Dean called out, waving a large arm up in the sky. Next to him was who he thinks was his younger brother, with shaggy hair and a lanky body, Sam Winchester.

Assuming Dean’s gesture was meant to usher him over, Castiel got up from his stool and walked over, taking off his black cowboy hat and placing it on the pool table once he got to his destination. Dean tipped his Stetson in greeting and flashed a toothy smile to Castiel, causing his cheeks to heat up.

“You here for a beer, angel?” Dean asked.

That was new.

“Uhm, yes. Like I normally am.” Castiel replied solemnly, a little bit skeptical since Dean was being extra flashy today.

Perhaps it was because Sam was around.

“Well,” he started. “I’d like ya to meet Sammy, my lil’ brother. Sammy, Castiel. Castiel, Sammy.”

Castiel nodded. “Nice to meet you, Sam.”

The younger brother stuck his arm out, signaling a handshake. It was firm, despite his young age. “You too.”

Dean gave his brother a grin and a wink and Sam had almost immediately left to go to the counter, instantly striking up a conversation with Ellen.

Odd.

“So, have you heard about Lucifer?” The question just popped up out of the blue. Dean was leaning on his cue pole, his hands over the top and his chin resting on his knuckles.

Castiel quirked his head and furrowed his eyebrows.

“The murderer, guy got his face on the wanted posters ‘bout two months ago. People are sayin’ he murdered two people and some animals or somethin’. I don’t gossip like some people do here but it’s somethin’ I’ve heard goin’ ‘round.”

He licked his lips. He hasn’t seen any wanted posters of any kind, so either he was blind or oblivious to his surroundings. Hopefully the latter.

“I haven’t. Is his real name Lucifer?” Castiel asked, now engaged in the conversation, curious.

“Naw, Lucas or somethin’. Lucas... Shurley, I’m pretty sure.” He bit his lip, stuffing his hands in his jean pockets.

Fuck.

“Lucas Shurley? I...” Castiel’s mouth went dry and the world suddenly got dizzy. “I need to sit down— o-or leave... I—“

Dean put down his cue stick, and it clattered to the ground. He gracefully swept over to where Castiel started leaning over the pool table. He put his hands on his back and laced his fingers with his to support him up.

“Cas?” His voice was soft, like of those of a kitten. “Hey... hey, man. Are you alright?”

“I have to go home—“ Castiel started, his stomach feeling like thousands of volcanic ruptures.

“I’ll take ya, man. How far do you live?”

Castiel looked up to face Dean. “About— about two miles up north. You... I can walk.”

“Walk? No. Where’s your horse?”

“Don’t have one anymore. Horse disappeared along with my parents.” Castiel said like it was nothing.

In all honesty, he didn’t believe it was nothing. He just didn’t want to worry Dean.

It was everything. Chuck and Naomi Novak were his favorite people in the world. Sure, the both of them smoked their lungs dry but without them, Castiel would be a goner. They’ve saved him, fixed him, in more ways and times than he could count.

“I’ll take ya, Baby can fit two.”

“Baby?”

“My black mare. God, she’s a beaut. Love o’ my life.” Dean smiled with pride.

Castiel nodded. That’s how Lincoln was to Castiel and his family. He was a very obedient crime colored horse, and he was very fond of him. However, after his parents disappearance, Lincoln had gone with them. Over and over Castiel theorized where they could’ve gone, but nothing of the sorts came to mind. They’ve always sort of stayed around Lawrence. Never the adventurous type, which was why their disappearance was odd.

Baby was a very comfortable horse, but it was even more comfortable to wrap his hands around Dean’s waist, feeling the rise and fall of his breath against his body. His chest was touching his back and Dean talked to him as Baby slowly rode ahead. Dean had reassured Castiel that since he didn’t feel well, Baby wouldn’t go as fast as she normally would’ve.

Hiding his blush in the night sky, Castiel’s eyes were weary and droopy. He never even got the time to get a beer, nor talk to anyone else. His trip was cut short. However, so was Dean’s.

“Sammy’s a genius, I’m tellin’ ya.” Dean filled the empty silence with something to talk about. “Been studyin’ to go to this new college called Stanford. ‘Bout five years old, fairly new. It’s all the way in California, poor guy.”

Castiel didn’t respond, but Dean could feel the nod of his body against him.

“You got any siblings?” Dean genuinely asked, cocking his head back to meet eye to eye with Castiel. Dean seemed like a good horseback, so he trusted him.

Castiel thinned his lips. “Yes... two. They don’t live around here anymore. Older brothers... uhm, Michael and Gabriel and-“

He stopped himself.

“And what?” Worry sort of filled Dean’s voice.

“I also have an older half brother... but I don’t talk to him. He sort of made my life a living hell growing up.”

“‘M sorry to hear that, Cas.”

Baby stopped in her tracks slowly, and Dean eyed Castiel’s cottage. It was on the outskirts of town, and the wooden place wasn’t the biggest, but it managed. He was proud of it. It’s been there since Lawrence founded in ‘64 and he wasn’t planning on demolishing it anytime soon.

Dean hopped off of Baby and grabbed Castiel’s hand to help him. The sickness started riling back in his gut and he walked to his front door quickly.

The wooden patio could barely hold one person without creaking in vain, crying out because of the heavy steps heaving on it. Let alone two. However, Castiel couldn’t tempt away from the green eyes and peppered freckles face with a smile he’s grown so fond of since Dean moved back.

Dean took off his hat and placed it on his chest, his fingers curling around the crease and pinch of it. He looked down.

“I just realized ya forgot your hat at the Roadhouse.” Dean chuckled, his laugh music to Castiel’s ears. “Could I stop by tomorrow afternoon ‘n give it to ya? I promise I won’t mess wit’ it.”

Castiel nodded, his face becoming red. “Thank you, Dean.” He paused, then he furrowed his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

Dean simply blinked and didn’t hesitate. “Because you made me realize that angel’s were real.”

They said their goodbyes and Castiel laid on his bed, first taking off all his clothing except for his undergarments. His sheets were cold with lack of use, as it has been a while since he’s used them.

Thoughts of Dean and his freckled body filled Castiel’s head. The imagery of his cock in Dean’s soft ass pumped his heart and he bit he lip, to try and attempt himself from getting hard. He had nothing but his hand to relieve himself, so he couldn’t tonight.

However, if he got lucky with Dean, he would be a sweet ride indeed.

(tags below)

@potato-painter

[the-blind-assassin-12]

I See You: Part Eight

A/N: YOU GUYS. I AM SO SORRY THAT THIS TOOK A LITERAL LIFETIME. I had a lot of things to figure out (and so did you and Billy, TBH.) but consider those things figured. And consider this story back on track. #BACK TO THE BENCH! 

Warnings: language, discussion of violence, war...and other things ;) (those things are going to continue in part 9 *more winks*) 

Word Count: 3,767 

“What about you, Bill? You got plans? For when we get back. You gonna take any of those girls out and maybe pick a winner?” Frank slapped the concert tickets that Maria had just sent him against his palm as his scarred, hardened features rearranged themselves into a teasing grin. He’d just gotten done professing how much he loved his wife, and as always, that would cause the topic to change to Billy and his lack of one. “Got plenty of options, Russo, and you’re not always gonna be that pretty. You better nail one down ‘fore you lose your looks.” 

You a mind reader now, Frankie? Billy had been lying on his cot trying to read the book you’d sent him, but he hadn’t gotten very far. The words were morphing and swirling on the page and he’d ended up reading the same sentence three times before giving up and resting the open book against his abdomen. The grin on his face as he looked over at Frank was put there entirely by what he was thinking about in lieu of reading comprehension: you. “Yeah, Frankie, I got some plans.” 

Those plans included getting on a bus, with all his gear right from Port Authority, taking that bus up to Boston, climbing the three flights of stairs in your red brick building, knocking on 3C and kissing you like he should have done before leaving for this current tour. He planned to take your face between his hands and look into your eyes and tell you what he’d realized when he’d last spoken to you- that he loved you and he needed you to know that. For the first time in Billy Russo’s life, he was making plans to include a woman in his future, and not just any woman; not just one of those girls Frank was talking about, the flock of floozies he kept on rotation, but someone who had become an important part of his life- a part of his life that he realized he wanted more of, and more importantly, a part of his life that seemed to want him, too. 

I could call her, tell her. He imagined the surprised exhale, the quick intake of a new breath before the shaky “what?” and the little sniff that told him that you were about to cry, but trying not to. Closing his eyes, he could almost see you standing stock still in your kitchen with a beer halfway to your lips, suspended in shock. He imagined what it would be like to hear you say those words back to him, maybe with his name attached. “I love you, Billy.” Something he’d never heard, not once. Something he didn’t realize he needed so badly, but now that the thought of it existed, he knew he couldn’t get by without it. Shit. He felt the stupid smile on his face spread as Frank gave a hearty laugh.

“Just sayin’, quality over quantity, Bill, ya know?”

Yeah. I know. That fucking grin was still growing, making his cheeks sore as he thought about telling you in person; about telling you that he loved you, and in the same breath, kissing you with more purpose, more intention, more meaning than he’d ever put into a kiss before. He’d thought about that imagined kiss more than he’d like to admit, thought about how he’d drop his bags on your doorstep and fill his hands with you instead, how one would curve around the back of your skull, the other pressing you closer, as close as he could get you. He thought about what it might feel like for you to kiss him back, about your hands clutching the rough material of his uniform, fingers sliding over the embroidered letters of his name. He thought about giving you that name, eventually, offering it, and himself...offering you everything. The part where he’d pick you up, take you completely into his arms and carry you inside was always his favorite thing to think about, because in that part, you’d be smiling against his lips and his bags would have been forgotten in the hallway. He’d imagined spending the rest of the night making sure you knew what you meant to him, imagined using as few words as possible to say as much as he possibly could. 

Frank’s gruff laughter broke through his fantasy. “Bill the Beaut, huh?” 

Billy had been contemplating telling Frank about you, about how he felt about you. Frank knew that he had kept in touch with you, and that had always made him slightly suspicious of your “friendship”; he knew Billy didn’t stay friends with women that he wasn’t sleeping with, but after a year, then two, and now a little more than three had gone by, Frank seemed to accept the friend title. He’s gonna flip when he finds out he’s been right all along. “Actually, Frankie, I been meanin’ to tell ya-” 

“Castle. Russo. Briefing, five minutes.” The commander’s voice cut Billy’s sentence short, he and Frank responding in “yes sir”’s. 

“Tell me after the brief, Bill.” Frank smirked at him, giving him a smack on the arm before carefully stowing Maria’s gift in his bag and readying himself for what they both hoped would be one of their final briefings. They had just a few days shy of a month to go, and Billy knew that Frank started getting nervous the closer it got to the end of the tour- nervous that with such a short time left, something could happen that would keep him from going home to his family. It never made Billy nervous- he felt the same amount of risk on day one as he felt on day one hundred and ninety seven, or two hundred and three, or three hundred and two. But now that he had this thought, this idea, this need to tell you how he felt...now that he wanted to get back to you...get home to you, to see if you felt the way he hoped you did, he started to understand why Frank got that way. Twenty- nine days, he told himself. What could happen in twenty- nine days that hasn’t happened already?

The comfort of his old way of thinking lasted only until after the briefing had concluded. He and Frank hadn’t resumed their conversation. He hadn’t gotten to share his plans with his brother. Instead, the two of them spent the next hour in silence, both fuming over the ambush that they knew they were about to lead their men into without a choice. This is fucked. Billy thought about the offer he’d been given, to transfer to a different unit, run different kinds of missions. He thought about doing whatever he had to to get back, to get to you and tell you what he’d already waited too long to say. This is it. This is the last time...This one, and I’m done. Gonna ask Frank, too. Sure he’ll say yes, he knows this is fucked. Just gotta get through this one. Gotta get back to her. 

But he’d been wrong about everything. About that being his last questionable mission. About Frank agreeing to take the transfer. About getting back to you. 

After that particular mission, after Billy had stopped Frank from killing Rawlins, after that shithead’s eye socket had a chance to stop bleeding, Billy had gone to him. He’d tried to tell him that the deal was off, that he wasn’t going to take the offer anymore- that he simply wasn’t going to re-enlist. 

The one eyed bastard had actually laughed then. “Doesn’t quite work like that, Russo,” he’d said from behind his bandages. “See, you know too much now, you’ve seen too much...I’ve offered you too much.” He clicked his tongue. “That start up money? That clean slate? None of this shit on your record? Can’t have you talking about any of that. See, Russo, I own you now. That’s how this works.There’s no changing your mind. No backtracking from our little agreement.” He laughed again. “You wanted out? You should have let that filthy dog Castle kill me. You’re mine now. You do what I tell you, when I tell you, or I’ll have you locked up for war crimes faster than you can fucking blink. Do you copy, soldier?” 

From that moment on, Billy knew he had to part with you. He knew he couldn’t belong to a man like Rawlins and give himself to a woman like you. He knew he’d made too many mistakes at this point- he hadn’t told you soon enough, he hadn’t thought this deal through, he hadn’t consulted Frank on either topic… I did this. I fucked this all up… and now I’m gonna lose everything. 

When he’d finally gotten back to the states, he’d distanced himself from Frank. He’d lied to you. He’d thrown himself entirely into the planning and building of ANVIL, telling himself that he had to make something worth losing everything over. You’d told him years ago that you believed in him, and he’d be damned if he failed you twice. For a while, he was even relatively free from Rawlins’ grasp, and things were at least manageable. But for as much as he’d told himself that he’d given up on you, on the thought that he’d ever get to have you in his life again- on the thought that he’d ever be worth you again- he never erased the ghost, the memory of the kiss that never happened. 

But he also never thought he’d see you again, and here you were. He’d just told you that he loved you, with your hand in his. He still had impossible things to tell you, like how things had ended with Frank, and the plan for revenge that he’d been hatching until he’d heard your voice say his name on the bus that morning. But it was also impossible that he’d ever get this chance again. 

“I...I loved you, too. I love you...I always will.” He gave your hand a squeeze, and watched as that little gasp he’d thought about left your lips, and the tears you’d been holding back started rolling down your cheek. He felt his heart flip when you returned the squeeze, and it was the first thing that wasn’t hardened hatred that had echoed in his chest in far too long. “I...I was gonna come home to you...I wanted…” Now that he’d started talking, he couldn’t seem to stop, even though he wasn’t sure if he should. “I wanted to…” he licked his lips, voice suddenly going raspy and thin. Fuck. He hung his head and blew out a breath, but he snapped back up as he felt your other hand grasping his knee. 

“What did you want, Billy?” The way that the streetlight was shining on you made you look as surreal as his daydreams had been, and the glow of your skin against the night drew him closer.  

“This,” he answered, heart pounding wildly out of control as he threw caution to the wind and covered your hand on his knee with his free one, holding both of your hands now as he brought his lips to yours. “I want this. You.” He whispered, just before making contact. 

..  ..  ..  ..  .. ..  ..  ..  ..  ..

Two weeks had passed since you’d last heard from Billy. Then another two after you received his package. You waited two more before calling, remembering how he sounded, what he’d said about how things had been on this last deployment. I’ll give him some time to adjust, you’d reasoned, though he’d never really needed time before. You’d run out of excuses to assuage your anxiety- Maybe he’s been busy celebrating with Frank and the guys, or maybe he’s been celebrating with Ashley, or maybe he broke his phone and he’s waiting for a replacement. Eventually your thoughts began to shift. Maybe he’s hurt. Maybe something happened. Maybe he… You’d never finish that thought, though you felt it in your heart and it tore through you in ways that you couldn’t name. To think about Billy losing his life was unfathomable, so you tried your absolute best to never fathom it. You’d finally dialed his number just for it to go directly to voicemail, trying again every day for a week, each time holding that embroidered name tape, running your fingers over the stitching and feeling the frayed edges of the coarse fabric. Why did you give this to me Billy? Why are you trying to disappear? 

The next few months had been hard to handle, and your thoughts drifted in Billy’s direction- wherever he was- often. More often than you wanted to admit, even to yourself. He’s gone, you tried to tell yourself, as though those two words were as simple as they looked on paper. But no matter how many times you tried to tell yourself to move on like he clearly had, you continued to run your fingers over that black thread, as black as his eyes. You used it as a bookmark, a luck charm, you tucked it inside your pillowcase and read the letters with the tips of your fingers in the dark. You’d never say this out loud, but you’d secretly hoped that you’d take his name one day. But this was never what you meant, and at least once a month you cried yourself to sleep, wishing that you’d told him that you loved him the last time that you’d spoken to him. Maybe it would have mattered...

You’d had to snap out of it sooner rather than later, though, as you were getting ready to ship out yourself. You couldn’t let the phantom love that you never got to share with Billy cloud your judgement. It wasn’t safe to bring him with you- to bring all that emotion, that deep heartache, that illogical hope that he might one day drop back into your life. That strip of fabric though, that you’d brought with you everywhere. You had it on you in the airport when you’d seen him on the news while you waited for your flight. You had it with you when you stepped on board your carrier. It was tucked in your pocket on the day of your accident, and you had it with you every day of your recovery. You’d ended up taking him with you everywhere, ended up missing him every day, ended up being unable to completely bury the hope that pulsed with each beat of your heart.

That hope banged against your ribs as his fingers wrapped around your palms and tightened. The hard metal bench melted away as you felt him move closer, as you felt his breath on your cheek in the form of his whispered admission. As his lips covered yours, your eyes fell shut and you felt the lids fluttering and creasing with the emotion you felt from him. It spread across your soft, pink lips and throughout your entire body, tingling like magic, changing everything about you, about him, the way a wildfire changes the landscape. You whimpered as your mouth moved in tandem with his, as though this kiss had been well practiced, as though you’d been kissing Billy Russo for years. In a way, you had been, both of you dreaming of this moment and neither knowing. He moved both of your hands into one of his, raising his free one to curve around the back of your head, fingers spreading into your hair, and you couldn’t contain the whimper that slipped from your lungs at the sensation of being touched by him. Your thoughts were as scattered as stars in the sky, but you knew you wanted more, wanted to open the kiss and pour your whole being into it. Wanted to touch him, to hold him, make sure that he couldn’t possibly mistake how much you loved him, how much you wanted and needed him. Him and only him. 

You tried to free your hands from his strong grip, needing to pull him closer, to give him what he was giving you. But instead of releasing his grip, instead of using both of his hands to keep you in that kiss, he tightened his hold and pulled away, ending the kiss as unexpectedly as it had begun. You heard him swallow, felt the shuddering exhale of his breath on your lips, heard the rustling of his sleeve as he let his hand drop back into his lap, the other still clutching yours tightly. “Billy,” you gasped his name, feeling yourself fall forward, involuntarily chasing that kiss. Your fingers twitched inside his fist, wordlessly speaking your intention. Your own breathing was just as uneven as his was, as though ending the kiss meant removing the oxygen from the air. “Billy, I…” you shook your head, lips still parted, still tingling with the absence of his. 

You felt him stiffen, loosening his grip if only slightly. “I’m sorry, I-” 

“No. No, Billy, don’t apologize. I want this, too. I…” you gulped down a breath and tried to swallow the thick lump that had formed in your windpipe. “Billy, I ‘ve wanted this...you...for years, I…” You felt the hurt that he’d heaped upon you dissipate into the background, felt all of the things that he’d told you so far vanish into the night. He thinks he’ll scare me away… “Please...let me…” your chest shook with your breathing, your voice creaking on the please. 

“I’m...it’s…” he sighed your name and you felt yourself lean even closer, pulled to him on the invisible string that spun you both together starting with that kiss. “You won’t recognize me. I’m not...not the man I was.” 

“I don’t care, Billy.” You shook your head more fervently. “I thought you were gone. I thought I’d lost you...that I’d never get you back.” That lump in your throat fell hard and heavily into your stomach as that lost feeling settled in your chest, and images of Billy- your Billy, smiling in the photos he used to send you- with his coal black eyes closed forever, cut through your mind. “I thought you died, Billy.” When your voice came back it was barely a whisper, and each word fought to be free of your lips. “And it ruined me. But now you’re here. You’re here, and… and I know, okay? I know that you have more to tell me. I know, Billy. But it was never about anything but you for me. It wasn’t about what you could give me. It wasn’t about how you looked or...or what your status was or…Billy, I love you. Please… let me…” Let me touch you. Let me see you, feel you and know that you’re here with me. Let me show you that nothing matters to me. 

He took a breath and you felt him open his hand enough for you to pull yours free. “My face…” you could tell that he was looking down and away by the sound of his voice, and you kept your hands on his knee, showing him that nothing he could say would change your mind. “Everything I did...all the...everything...you’re gonna see every goddamn mistake I made.” He sniffed and you felt your heart ache. “All the things I did...the people I betrayed…”

“I don’t care,” you said again, this time a little softer. “You’re here. You’re...you’re alive, Billy. That’s what I care about. I love you. Please, let me show you what that means.” 

..  ..  ..  ..  .. ..  ..  ..  ..

His thoughts raced louder and quicker than they had during the kiss. Each scar on his face burned with regret, the skin between them on fire as he waited for your fingers to flee in disgust and take you with them. But he couldn’t stop this forever, and he couldn’t deny your request. Guess this is it, he thought, wrapping his fingers around your wrist and lifting your hand from his lap. He held his breath after laying a gentle kiss to the middle of your palm that made you release the breath that you’d been holding. “I deserve every one of these, for what I did to you,” he said, slipping his thumb up into the cup of your palm, in the exact spot he’d just kissed it. Before he could change his mind, and before you could say something to counter what he’d just said, he placed your palm against his cheek.

Eyes on your face, he watched as your mouth fell open and your eyebrows wrinkled. Your fingers found the edges of the gunshot wound, and the burning he felt was immediately soothed.“Billy,” He’d never heard his name sound the way it just had as your fingertips traced upwards towards the jagged line that curved around his eye socket. He exhaled and quickly took a fresh breath, as though trying to be as different, as new in this moment as possible. “Billy,” you said his name again as your other hand moved to take his face between them both. You traced the new topography of his face, putting out the fires that burned where each stitch had put him back together, spending just as much time learning the smooth portions as the rippled scars. “I don’t care about these scars,” you shook your head slowly. “I don’t. I care about you,” you let your fingers slide down the sides of his face and over the coarse hair that covered his chin and jaw, pulling him closer instead of pushing him away. Your right hand slipped around his neck, your left coming back until your thumb brushed the top of the scar beneath his eye. “I love you, Billy Russo,” you said it with all the intention, all the truth, all the power that he allowed himself to imagine in his dreams as you brought your lips back to his and kissed him again, deeper this time, more; kissed him full of love, kissed him like your life depended on it even more than his did. He responded by pressing his forehead to yours and gripping both of your wrists, keeping your hands on him even after you broke away for air, in utter disbelief that he had tried to stop you, completely and entirely there in the moment with you- allowing you, finally, to love him completely and entirely. “No matter what, Billy,” you promised him, turning to kiss the crest of his cheek. “I love you no matter what.”

..  ..  ..  ..  ..  ..  ..  ..

@something-tofightfor  @its-my-little-dumpster-fire  @suchatinyinfinity @lexxierave @agent-bossypants @zaffrenotes @songforhema @thesumofmychoices  @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @lysawayne @roses-in-your-country-house @ymariejp @belladonnarey @audreychaz @songtoyou @stories-you-wont-hear @traeumerinwitzhelden 

please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed! (because my taglists are a disaster, so if i added you or left you off, it was not intentional!) 

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #133

Fri Jul 26 2019 [11:31 PM] Wack'd: Anyway it's all guests this month as writer Gerry Conway and penciler Ramona Fradon step in for Thomas and Buscema [11:32 PM] Wack'd: Fradon is the first-ever lady Fantastic Four artist I'm pretty sure. And she'll hold the distinction of only female Fantastic Four artist for a stupid long time [11:32 PM] Wack'd: So, uh, enjoy her one issue while it lasts [11:32 PM] Aleph Null: how many years of timeline drift will it be before johnny was a fortnite teen [11:33 PM] Wack'd: Uh...probably another fifteen [11:33 PM] Aleph Null: franklin will never have the chance to be a fortnite teen F [11:34 PM] Wack'd: At least waitingforthet's prediction that Dani Cage would lap him didn't come true! [11:34 PM] Wack'd: Anyway [11:35 PM] Wack'd: Happy 1973! Have some depression

[11:36 PM] Wack'd: It's actually been 1973 for like four months now but other stuff was happening, just let them have this [11:36 PM] Aleph Null: isn’t “have some depression” always a new years mood [11:36 PM] maxwellelvis: I'm sure it was New Year's time when they first wrote this issue. [11:37 PM] Wack'd: i love these two so much

[11:37 PM] maxwellelvis: Johnny's depressed about Crystal, Reed's depressed about Sue and Franklin, Ben's always depressed, and Alicia's sad for them, I take it Medusa's still shaken about the whole Omega thing? [11:37 PM] Bocaj: Scare quotes [11:38 PM] Wack'd: For all your reaction needs

[11:39 PM] Umbramatic: thanks for the exploitable! [11:39 PM] Wack'd: Reed: Don't try to cheer me up. [11:39 PM] Wack'd: Medusa: Okay, I won't. You're being an immature child and need to get over yourself. [11:40 PM] Umbramatic: vkj;gfbaajgftl'gbvg'snwhb [11:41 PM] Wack'd: 🎶You don't know you're beaut~i~ful🎵

[11:43 PM] Wack'd: 🎵 Broken glass / Is glittering like diamonds / Can't hear yourself / Thinking over the sirens! / Push back the hands of tiiiiiime 🎶

[11:44 PM] maxwellelvis: Thundra, there's gotta be an easier way to get a guy's attention. [11:44 PM] maxwellelvis: Maybe show up with Abomination around your arms or something, eh? [11:45 PM] Wack'd: If Ben wins, it'll be a rare sight--the home team winning on the Mets' turf!

[11:45 PM] maxwellelvis: Zing [11:45 PM] maxwellelvis: Hey, you think if the fight goes badly, he can tag in Mr. Met? [11:47 PM] Wack'd: So Johnny decides to go deal with Thundra and I love this idle background detail of ladies being into Johnny. It serves no narrative purpose besides going "hey, Johnny's hot and women like seeing him undress"

[11:48 PM] Wack'd: Usually, when Johnny has oglers it's a plot point--he's too depressed or busy to give them any mind and the fact that they're so preoccupied with him is played as a joke at their expense [11:49 PM] maxwellelvis: Or they're there to make Spider-Man jealous [11:49 PM] Wack'd: So this is kinda nice. Just letting it happen without it being a Thing [11:49 PM] Wack'd: ...I really can't capitalize that word in this context, can I [11:51 PM] Wack'd: A thing with Thundra so far has been that people keep assuming she's going to use a weapon for blunt force, only for her to prove she's a tactical thinker

[11:51 PM] Wack'd: (Or, at least, it's happened twice) [11:51 PM] Wack'd: I dig the contrast between her overwrought warrior-speak and her, like, actual material intelligence? It's a neat bit of character building [11:51 PM] maxwellelvis: She is seemingly based on Wonder Woman, I'd be disappointed if she didn't fight with her brains. [11:52 PM] Wack'd: I'll admit it, I laughed

[11:53 PM] maxwellelvis: I noticed Medusa doesn't take her mask of even for a night in Time's Square [11:54 PM] maxwellelvis: Nor does she ditch her primary color [11:54 PM] Wack'd: She doesn't! I mean, if you think about it, back home those are just her street clothes [11:54 PM] Wack'd: "They're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future." [11:55 PM] Wack'd: Thundra if you wanna keep up your "applying male stereotypes to women and women stereotypes to men" shtick you really shoulda abducted Reed or Johnny

[11:55 PM] Wack'd: This is disappointingly straightforward of you [11:56 PM] Wack'd: Then again, Alicia is the only one in the party without superpowers. Necessity is the mother of shtick-breaking, I suppose [11:56 PM] Wack'd: Sorry, father [11:56 PM] Umbramatic: i continue to appreciate how much ben looks like a Muppet [11:57 PM] Wack'd: He's definitely got kind of a Henson thing going on around the mouth [11:57 PM] maxwellelvis: I'd kill for a Ben Grimm designed by the Creature Shop, honestly. [11:58 PM] maxwellelvis: Carl Ciarfalo's Thing suit could have been, were that movie not just a cheap way to maintain Roger Corman's hold on the property rights [12:00 AM] maxwellelvis: Speaking of which, how sad is it that that's pretty much still the best Fantastic Four movie? [12:00 AM] Wack'd: Ben's physiology continues to astound me

[12:00 AM] maxwellelvis: Oh hey, now I got a better look at Johnny's new duds, I remembered where I've seen them before [12:01 AM] Wack'd: They're patterned off the original Robot Human Torch [12:01 AM] maxwellelvis: They're eventually going to be worn by Jim Hammond, yeah [12:01 AM] Wack'd: It has been pointed out [12:01 AM] maxwellelvis: When he joins the Future Foundation. [12:01 AM] maxwellelvis: and I take it he wore a similar getup when he was fighting the Nazis. [12:03 AM] Wack'd: It's weird that the city government is just cool with this lady not only setting up a wrestling match in a major metropolitan landmark but thousands of people turning up to watch. Is Shea selling *tickets* to this?

[12:04 AM] Wack'd: I think this might be my favorite full page spread so far

[12:04 AM] maxwellelvis: Hey, a show is a show [12:05 AM] maxwellelvis: Are you also just hearing Kimberly Brooks's voice with Thundra's dialogue? [12:07 AM] Wack'd: I'm really getting more of a Sharon Lawrence? [12:07 AM] Wack'd: Maxima from Superman: The Animated Series [12:07 AM] maxwellelvis: Ahh [12:09 AM] Wack'd:

[12:11 AM] Wack'd: “In retrospect, ‘uh-huh’ doesn’t seem nearly profane enough.” [12:11 AM] Wack'd: 🎵 All alone at the 64 World's Fair / Twenty dolls singing "small world after all" / Who was at the DuPont Pavilion? / Why was the bench still warm? Who had been there? 🎶

[12:12 AM] maxwellelvis: "I love paying to see a match on a TV!" -- Nobody in the crowd [12:12 AM] Wack'd: You joke, but we do get a reaction shot of someone complaining he paid 10 bucks for these seats [12:12 AM] maxwellelvis: And somewhere a young Vince McMahon takes notes. [12:13 AM] maxwellelvis: If I were in one of the seats without a good view of the backboard, right about now's when I'd be starting up a "Can't See Shit! Can't See Shit!" chant [12:13 AM] Wack'd: So Ben basically gets his ass handed to him but refuses to tap out [12:14 AM] maxwellelvis: This sounds familiar. [12:14 AM] Wack'd: Reed manages to fire a beam that'll turn Ben human enough *juuuuust* long enough for Thundra to feel cheated and piss off [12:14 AM] maxwellelvis: Way to solve this problem in the worst way possible, Stretcho [12:16 AM] Wack'd: And so the issue ends with Thundra releasing Alicia and the remaining Frightful Four commiserating that their brilliant "kill Ben and Thundra at the same time by blowing up Shea Stadium" plan was a bust [12:20 AM] Wack'd: That was a fun issue! I thoroughly enjoyed it

[riddlemethisbatboy]

I Was Really Down Today

This is a comforting fic where reader has a terrible day and is saved truly by an uncanny team of do-gooders. How you choose to take this is on you, happy reading cuties. Don't ever let those bad days win)

You sat alone in the kitchen, cigarette smoke lingering in the air like a thin sheet. Everything hurt, but you still felt nothing. You decided it best you weren't alone, your numb fingers typed out a text. Though you didn't know who would be answering.

'I'm super depressed today,' read the first of four messages. 'First I lost my mom. Now everyone else has left me. I've never felt so alone please help me.'

A few minutes turned into an hour and no one responded. Not that it mattered you reminded yourself. Nothing really matters anyway. A knock at your door jarred you from the mental assault.

"(Y/N), it's Harley," her voice like medicine soothed through the door. "Babydoll I got your message."

"It's unlocked," she must've heard your mumbles because the door opened and three gorgeous women filed in.

You were wrapped in a warm group embrace where you sat at the kitchen table. Tears like rain fell from your cloudy eyes and thunderous sobs struck the silence. You spent the better part of thirty minutes crying into the breasts of the catlike crime queen. The girls kept themselves wrapped around you, rubbing your back gently. Letting it out, they said, was better than keeping it all in.

When the rain subsided your green, environmentally friendly bestie went to get lunch. Harley, herself, had been silently crying, too. She and the girls knew the sting of losses.

A pot of coffee graced the three of you as your clouds started to lighten. Selina, being the wise cat she is, brought with her a box of masks and mani-pedi kits. You marvelled over the idea someone wanted to do anything with you.

That evening was spent in the company of the sirens. You indulged in comfort foods and rom-coms, the harlequin beaut made strawberry daiquiris. All turned out well.

"Hey," the first words you'd said all evening, when the night was catching up with the day. "Thanks for coming to the rescue guys, I uh.. I really needed this."

"No problem boblem," the black and red haired princess chimed.

[abitsblog]

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[akatskimember]

"All I've ever wanted"

Ayyy so this is my first fanfic. If ya don't like it then sorry. I'm not a writer The weekend isn’t usually a big deal seeing as you can get a mission anytime, but this weekend has significant meaning for Yamato. Not only was he off the roster, but it was also his birthday weekend. He took off Thursday-Sunday so he can celebrate with his friends and boyfriend. “I wonder what he wants for dinner tonight?” He sighed as he walked through the market looking for dinner ingredients. It isn’t very often he got to eat dinner with his man, the hokage is very busy running the village. Hokage. Yamato still can’t believe his sempai is the hokage and still chooses to be with him. There are plenty of men and women who Kakashi could have yet he still chooses him. “Eggplant miso.” Yamato decided to make the copycat ninja’s favorite just to show how much he loves him. “Hey Yamato-taichou!” Yamato looked around and say Iruka- sensei walking towards him. “hey Iruka-sensei, how’s it going?” Yamato said politely as Iruka finally caught up to him. “I was shopping for dinner and then was going to come look for you. However, since you’re here, I’ve hit two birds with one stone…uh..” He dug through his bag and pulled out a small box. “Here. It’s not much but I hope you like it.” Yamato set his basket down and opened the box. “I love it. I’ve read every book in the ‘Architecture for shinobi’ series. Thank you so much!” “Well it’s the least I can do. You’ve done so much for Naruto and Konoha. And besides, lunch breaks have been much more enjoyable since you started coming to ichiraku’s. Welp I gotta go. Kids have an exam and I’m very behind on my work. I’ll see ya around. Have a happy birthday Yamato-taichou!” and with that, Iruka was off to take care of his business. Yamato went back to his shopping and couldn’t help but smile as he thought, maybe this is where I belong. “Hey, I’m home. Wow it smells great in here.” Kakashi spoke as he walked in through the window. Yamato prides himself on finally getting Kakashi to stop using the window. It’s surprising how threatening his limited edition Icha Icha could easily set him straight. “Thanks, the food is done. It’s your favorite. Eat up. “Yamato already had the food set out. They sat down and Kakashi began to dig in. “so how was work?” “It was busy as usual. There���s this new medical supply trade deal we’ve been working on with Cloud so once that’s done, I can move onto my next headache” Kakashi groaned. There was nothing but piles of work in his office. He barely got to come home or read but Yamato always made sure there was dinner for him even if it was cold. The hokage was beyond thankful to have Yamato in his life. “Well hope- Knock Knock. The couple both looked to see who was knocking at their window this late. ANBU. Of course, Tenzo thought. He reluctantly opened the window. “Hokage-sama, we need you at the office. It’s urgent.” “damn”. Kakashi grumbled as he got up to go. “Here Sempai..” Yamato shoved a to go container of the food in his hands. “Thank you. I’m sorry.” “It’s ok. Will you still be here tomorrow?” Kakashi smiled through his mask, “Of course kohai nothing is planned so it’ll be us all day long.” That was all Yamato wanted to hear. Kakashi left and Yamato cleaned up before he snuggled in bed. Tomorrow was his birthday and he would spend the day with his sempai and have dinner with team 7 and all would be good in his world. The next morning, Yamato woke up to an awfully cold bed. Hmmm Kakashi didn’t come home. He got up, made breakfast and packed some clothes for Lord Sixth. Walking into the tower, he passed Shikamaru. “Good morning, taichou.“ “Goodmorning Shikamaru. I just came by to check on our hokage.” “Oh yea. I forgot you two were an item. Well anyways, happy birthday. It’s on the calendar and Sakura stopped by and was sad she got pulled into a last minute mission with Naruto and Sai. Something about our medical trade with Cloud. She said she would reschedule dinner with you.” “Oh thanks for the message Shikamaru. I hope their mission goes safely” “yea it’s no problem. It would’ve been a drag for everyone to leave late by trying to find you. Ah here were are.” They walked into the hokage office and Kakashi was sitting to close for comfort with a representative from stone. Kakashi looked up from paperwork and smiled. Bags apparent under his eyes show that he hasn’t slept. “ Shikamaru, Yamato, this is Yui-san from Rock. She is here to help forge our relationship with them. Yamato bowed “ Nice to meet you Yui-san.” Yui gave a painfully sweet smile and said “the pleasure is mine. What’s in your hand?” Yamato forgot all about it. The reason he came to see his lover in the first place. “ Oh, I just brought Rokudaime-sama some clothes and food since he has been here for a while.” Yui, confused expression on her face, said “ so you’re like…his lackey?” Yamato sputtered “ w-well no.I-I- He’s my best ANBU captain and it clearly shows since he is kind enough to think of my well being during his time off”. Yamato was stunned to see Kakashi cut him off with a slight venom in his voice. “Thank you very much captain Yamato, if there’s nothing else, I have work I must get back to.” Yamato got the hint and bowed, “You’re welcome. Sorry for interrupting Rokudaime-sama” and promptly left hoping Kakashi didn’t hear the hurt in his voice. Yamato went back home. Hmm well I guess tonight’s plans are cancelled. How unfortunate. Well, I guess next year will have to be the year where I spend my birthday with people I care about. I should have realized that Sempai would be to busy for me, especially with everything still being shaky after the war. Yamato walked inside and packed his stuff. Well, I’m not letting my time off go to waste. He locked up the apartment and set off to plan B. “ Kakashi-sama, It’s 8 p.m. you should head home.” Kakashi blinked, slightly confused by what time it was, “ oh it’s that late already. Yea I should go. I need to apologize to Tenzo. I was supposed to spend the day with him but got caught up with work.” Shikamaru sighed, “ You are lucky Yamato is understanding, Temari would kill me if I promised to spend her birthday with her and instead spent my day with someone else in my office.” Kakashi stared, “ I’m sorry…what?!” “ Oh yea, Temari would brutally kill me.” “ no. about the birthday part?” “ Oh Kakashi-sama, tell me you didn’t realize that today was his birthday.. Silence.. okay. So you did. Why do think he was very specific about spending today with you?” Kakashi started to panic, “ Oh my god I am so dumb. No wonder he was so happy and oh man I must have hurt his feelings. I need to go. How could I not realize it was his birthday?!?” Kakashi ran out the door and went top speed to his apartment, hoping that Tenzo wouldn’t make him sleep on the couch tonight. He walked inside and the place was empty. Figures. He walked to the fridge and saw a note that said “ went out, be back Sunday- Yamato” Bad sign. Yamato only used his code name in the house when he was mad. Also he isn’t coming home which means he doesn’t want to see me. Shit. I really fucked this one up. Kakashi put the note down and headed to find his Tenzo. There were only a few handfuls of places he would be at. Yamato walked into the hot spring and checked into the presidential suite. Full room and a personal spring attached so he can have his privacy. “No visitors please”, he told the receptionist as she handed him the keys. Once in the room, Yamato took a deep breath and set all his stuff down. Plan B. I may as well do something for my birthday. He ate some dinner and decided to relax. He read that book Iruka gave him, and decided to sit in the springs. After maybe 15 mins, he felt a presence. He turned around, ready to use his mokuton but instead saw a mess of gray hair. Yamato glared. “I asked for no visitors.” Kakashi sat on the ledge, “mah Tenzo, Since I’m the hokage, it’s gonna take a lot more than that to stop me.” Yamato, turned back around with an ice filled voice, “Well excuse me, do you have a mission for me rokudaime- sama. Because I am not on the roster and so if it is not an emergency then I’d like for you to leave.” Silence. “Tenzo, please. You’re right. I shouldn’t and am not here as your hokage. Truthfully, I’m here on important boyfriend business”. Silence. “Ok if you won’t talk to me then at least back up so I can rub your shoulders and start to atone for my sins.” Still silence but Yamato slowly backed up as Kakashi started touching him. Kakashi continues, “Listen. I am sorry I forgot your birthday and messed up our plans and was rude to you earlier.” He kept rubbing the knots out of his boyfriend’s neck waiting for a response. After what felt like forever, Yamato replied, “ Do you know why I get so excited about my birthday? It’s the only real thing I have about me. I don’t have a real name, or a real family. My birthday is the only thing about me that was documented. Everything else in my life revolves around my mokuton and serving the village. My birthday is one of the only things that remind me that I am a real person. Not just a clone of lord first. It’s a day to celebrate me. Kakashi, I’ve never celebrated my birthday with friends either. I was always on a mission or there was war or something. This was supposed to be the year I wouldn’t be alone. But that’s ok. I guess some things aren’t meant to change. I’m not mad. Maybe I’ll just give up on trying to have real birthday.” Kakashi stopped with his massage. And whispered in his ear, “no. Tenzo, I had no idea. I am so sorry for everything. You are my boyfriend and I have been neglecting you. I promise to never let you be alone on your birthday ever again. I love you. Just you. Only you. Please forgive me.” Yamato smiled. “ Come on Kohai, I have something for you inside.” Yamato was sad to leave his lover’s embrace but got up anyways. They both wrapped towels around their waist and was greeted to a beautiful birthday cake. It was green and blue with the words ‘happy birthday’ frosted on it. Yamato smiled from ear to ear. “Sempai, you didn’t! I’ve never had a birthday cake.” Kakashi lighted the candles and turned off the lights. He sweetly sang happy birthday and looked at his lover, “Make a wish my love.” Yamato quickly pecked his lips and took Kakashi’s hand. “ I already have everything I could ever want.”

[kavuyi]

http://bit.ly/2JsawiR

6th February 2016

Just when I thought it would be all rosy.

Nothing good lasts forever.

Neither does love or peace.

Something always comes up to destroy everything built back to the shambles it was always supposed to be. This is fate. The shambles are all that should be left no matter how hard one tries to rebuild. The foundation is weak so everything else is weak.

Today, the something that comes to break my home comes in form of a woman called Cynthia. I look at her name flashing on Chinyama’s phone. It’s as if she knows when I’m happy and too comfortable in my marriage. She shows up from nowhere to ruin everything. Back to square one. Should I pick up or not?

No.

I don’t need to pick up. I’m not one of those wives -the kind that watches over her husband and answers every call he gets. No. Chinyama will find the missed call when he leaves he bathroom, and he does, I’ll be waiting for the look on his face as he picks up his phone.

Not today Cynthia.

I put his phone back under his pillow and wait. I can’t go back to sleep anymore. She has my mind in knots like she always has. She has a hold on my husband that even I can’t explain. What if she used juju* on him and he can’t seem to have the guts to let her go because of that. Gosh. I shouldnt be thinking like this. No. God is on my side.

“No form of juju shall prosper against my husband.” I whisper.

But if she’s calling him, then does that mean he never ended it with her or she’s calling him for a baby come back. Maybe I should have picked up and asked her what she wanted. If she needs help then talking to me wouldn’t be a bad thing right. I hate this feeling, the feeling of helplessness. I turn and lie on my back. How many times have I faced the ceiling deep in thoughts over what Chinyama was doing with that vile woman. I can’t become that woman again. No.

I hear his phone ring. I sit up and quickly reach under his pillow and grab it. Her name flashes on his screen again. She is relentless. She will never stop. She needs to know her place. Right now. I look at the bathroom door and back at the ringing phone.

Chinyama be damned but this has to end. Today.

“Hello.” I answer.

Silence. Is she surprised? Is she worried that her man is with his wife? Is she angry her man’s wife is answering the phone? Well, silence won’t take me anywhere, I won’t last all day in silence.

“This is Chinyama’s phone” I continue.

“Can I please speak to Chinyama?”

Hearing her voice takes me back to the time I found out about her. The times I would lose it and resort to the bottle. Her voice would taunt me into thinking I had lost my husband. I did.

“Hello?” She asks.

“Cynthia, this is Mable. Chinyama is bathing. I’ll have him call you back as soon as he is free.” I respond.

Silence. I can hear her breathing. She hasn’t cut the line yet. Probably weighing her options right now. To call him back later or to wait for him to call her. I’m certain she will call him back. That’s the kind of woman she is. I hate that I know that about her. Who am I?

“Thank you Mable. Please tell him it’s urgent. Have a great day.” She says slowly.

She cuts the line. Just like that. No arguments. No insults back and forth. Nothing. Aren’t we maturing?

The bathroom door opens and Chinyama walks into the bedroom humming, with a towel around his waist.

“Good morning my beaut……”

He looks at me, his phone in my hand and the rest of his sentence dies on his lips. I meet his eyes and I give him a smile. He does not smile back.

“Cynthia called. She said it’s urgent. Call. Her. Back.”

I place his phone on his pillow and push the bed covers off of me exposing my nakedness. Let him call her back with the image of me naked and walking away from him. I get off the bed and walk confidently towards the bathroom.

“Mable.” He starts.

I lift my hand to silence him.

“Call. Her. Back. We don’t want her feeling neglected do we?” I respond.

I don’t want to hear his excuse. If I do I might say something I’ll regret one day. Or I’ll hit him with anything.

No words need to be said this time.

To think I stopped talking to Isaac and only to have this thrown back in my face. Again. Men.

Nothing lasts forever.

Not even a week.

********

Me:

I could beat her up.

Find thugs for you and send them to her house and beat her up so.

Foolishness.

*

Sampa:

Yoli you are certainly not helping Mable here with that talk.

*

Me:

That is helping her. That woman has no sense of pride for herself, sleeping with a married man like it’s in fashion.

*

Mable:

Men suck.

I swear they suck.

Oh my gosh. I don’t even want to think about this anymore.

*

Sampa:

That Cynthia woman has some nerve no.

Like who calls a married man that early in the morning.

No respect.

Like if you’re helping him cheat then call him after 12.

*

Thandiwe:

Some side pieces also. How unnecessary.

Omg Mable I’m so sorry ayi.

Elo ninshi the man apologised and was trying to make it up to you.

*

Mable:

That’s what hurts you know.

*

Sampa:

Iye Mable.

*

Mable:

I don’t know what to think.

*

Me:

What did you do after? After you told him.

*

Mable:

What was I to do?

I didn’t talk to him again. He left the house.

Took the kids with him.

I didn’t know he left.

Plus I was supposed to take the kids to the movies. Now I don’t know.

Maybe she just genuinely needed his help.

*

Me:

Or maybe he’s scared of you.

As he should be.

Wife. Cook. Owner of the kitchen. Knives at her disposal.

*

Mable:

But iwe. Lol Kaya.

But what if she really needed his help.

And I’m here acting like shit.

*

Sampa:

Are you seriously taking blame for what has happened today?

Are you going to feel better if he tells you she was calling because she had a problem?

*

Mable:

No.

*

Sampa:

Exactly.

Mami that was your husband’s mistress for a long time.

I don’t blame you for wanting to think things through

Have you called him yet at least?

*

Mable:

And say what?

Have you gone to see your hule.

I’m too stressed ayi.

I’m not calling him.

Think I’ve acted clingy enough now.

*

Sampa:

Iwe he’s your husband.

Call him.

Talk to him

*

Mable:

No.

I won’t.

I was too angry earlier. Maybe I’m not over it yet.

*

Sampa:

I’m thinking he’s near home waiting for you to call him.

Call him.

He’s worried and scared you will lose it

*

Mable:

And maybe I should yes.

*

Thandiwe:

No

*

Sampa:

No

*

Me:

Yes.

*

Mable:

Okay I won’t lose it.

I’ll call him.

After an hour or two.

Let him die in worry first.

*

Sampa:

Don’t do this.

Talk to your husband and behave yes?

Do it now.

*

Mable:

No.

You know what I deserve a day of drinking. Or night.

I have been behaving with my drinks.

The effort? All down the drain now.

We need to meet up.

Today.

*

Sampa:

We shouldn’t be encouraging this.

*

Mable:

We should.

*

Sampa:

Alright, I have vodka and rum in the house.

You guys can come over to my place.

Someone bring chicken and sausage.

Though I think we shall need more alcohol to be honest.

And junk food

*

Me:

I’m bringing the whiskey

Ya’ll and your weird drinks.

I’ll bring the chicken.

*

Thandiwe:

I’ll bring the sausage.

I will also bring a bottle of wine though I am a sober bitch.

Make sure there is juice though.

*

Mable:

Wine from me. Two bottles.

No three. Or four.

But won’t Sangu be angry with a random chill like that.

*

Sampa:

Well Sangu has forgotten he has a home so I’m gonna use this home to chill with my girls.

Ya’ll better be here by 14 hours ka

Dress nice

*

Mable:

Cool

Manje dress nice iyo. Are we dressing nice for some man we do not know about?

Your cousin maybe? Is he coming to town?

*

Me:

Iye. I’m wearing sweat pants.

See ya.

*

Sampa:

You’re so weird Mable.

And no my brother is not coming to town.

You never know what might happen afterwards.

*

Sonia:

Imwe early in the morning and you are planning a beer fest.

I had to to catch up on your messages.

Lol

I am still in bed sleeping.

I’ll be there. 14 Hours sharp.

I am bringing myself only and my chef skills.

*

Me:

You seriously want to impress a bunch of dunk women with your cooking skills.

Ah Sonia.

Bring food from your fridge.

*

*******

This man is going to be the death of my nerves. I need to concentrate on…

*

Sonia:

I’ll cook.

No left overs Yolanda.

*

Thandiwe:

Goodie.

I can’t wait.

*

Sampa:

Cool. Be on time ladies.

Especially you Yolanda.

*

Me:

Fine…

*

I close my eyes and let the feel of his hands squeezing my bare ass linger on my mind.

“Hmmm.” I groan.

At this rate I won’t be able to finish reading my messages. I open my eyes and scroll through unread my message list.

*

Mr Forty:

Lady.

You are amazing. I swear you just blow my mind away

*

My body feels loved. His lips on my back, I do not know what the man is doing but it feels amazing. What is it about his tongue I wonder. His teeth graze the skin on my shoulder and I giggle, I imagine his lips breaking into a smile. Ohh this man….

*

Mr Forty:

If I had known you missed me that much that night I would have shown up everyday I let you keep me away.

I can’t stop thinking about you

*

I believe I am glowing. He is not done and I am glowing. I might glow for the next one week at this rate. His lips trail up my back to my neck, his hands following behind.

*

Mr Forty:

What is about you that makes me lose my mind?

I feel like a lost man without you.

What have you done to me?

Yolanda, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

I want to see you tonight.

Dinner?

Drinks?

*

I smile.

“I swear you need to get off that phone.” His voice whispers.

His lips on my neck, I giggle in response. I feel his smile against my skin. I know it’s an attractive smile. He does not stop kissing my neck. I do not stop him. I want more. Just not yet…

So many messages to read….

“Get off that phone Yolanda.”

“But I have messages coming in. I have to read them. Right now.”

His hand reaches out and grabs my phone out of hands.

“Wait. Wait.” I laugh as I turn to face him, hoping the panic in my eyes isn’t evident.

“No. No. No.” He responds. “No phone for you.”

“Just wait a second….”

I breathe a sigh of relief when I notice the dark screen. Locked. He looks at me then the phone and shakes his head.

“Hiding something Ms Chipeta?” He asks.

“No Mr Jere.”

“Then you can read the messages in an hour.” He says and proceeds to place the phone on his side of bedside table, far from my reach. Now he has my attention.

“An hour huh?” I ask.

“I’m approximating.”

“That it’s gonna last that long? Too short don’t you think?” I ask, placing my hand over my exposed breast, feigning shock.

“Come here.” He says.

His hand snakes around my waist, pulls me to his side. He turns onto his side, his face close to mine. I take in his brown eyes, the thick eyebrows that seem to perfect to be on a man’s face, the square jaw, dark beard that frames the lips that gave my skin chills minutes ago.

“I am trying to make it up to you….” He laughs.

“It’s not like you had a choice last night when you showed up.” I cut him off.

“Uhhhh okay fine. Still making it up to you.”

“You showed up out of the blue. You knew you had me wondering.”

Out of the blue. That’s the right phrase. Masulani showed up looking all tired in his blue suit, leaning against my door with an unopened bottle of Blue Label in his hands as a peace offering. He got me on the bottle; and maybe with the apology that followed even though he didn’t explain why he did what he did.

“That’s not the point.” He whispers

“Then what is it?”

“I’m trying to make it up to you and you think that gadget is more important than this.”

He pulls me closer still, till my breasts meet his chest, my leg over his hip. His hand goes to my cheek, caressing it’s way to the back of neck. His eyes take every part of my face in. A smile breaks on his lips.

“You see if you had hair I would be pushing it off your face.” He whispers. “Don’t get me wrong, your cut is attractive. And I definitely need to meet your barber maybe.”

I laugh, “Well if you like hair, then I am sorry. This lady is never keeping it.” I respond.

“You are one sexy woman Yolanda.”

“I know.”

We keep silent, our eyes on each other, hunger is his eyes, maybe in mine. Hearts beating so fast. No words need to be said anymore. We both know where this is going.

And then he kisses me, all thoughts about incoming messages slip off the silk sheets and out of the bedroom.

**********

I smile as I place my phone on the table. I grab my mug of coffee, the scent of coffee hits my nose and I close my eyes. What I need every morning. Today will be….

“I will be home slightly late. I just hope the hospital won’t be as bad today.”

I open my eyes and look at Sangu over my coffee mug and shrug. For a man that comes home late and wakes up early he definitely looks as fresh as a man who had enough hours of sleep.

“It’s really been a mess…..” He continues.

Fresh enough to drag back to bed. I stare at his dark blue shirt and pants, is it necessary he dresses smartly to the hospital everyday I wonder. Is there someone else he’s trying to impress? Where are my thoughts leading me? He places his hands in his pockets and looks at me.

“What?” I ask

“Nothing. You are silent.”

“I am not silent. I heard you.”

“Okay. If you say so.”

Well this is awkward.

“I will call you.” He continues.

As if. He actually believes he will.

“Okay. Cool.”

“I will make sure I call you.” He continues.

I wish I could roll my eyes at his statement. Men and their fake promises.

“Hmm.” I respond as the hot coffee scalds my tongue.

I place my coffee mug on the table behind me as I scrape my teeth over the burnt area on my tongue.

“Are you okay?” He asks, closing the space between us.

“Yeah. I am fine.” I respond quickly.

“You sure?”

“Uh yeah. Oh I forgot to tell you, the ladies will be coming over today. In the afternoon anyway. For drinks. Guess we have things to catch up on.”

“Oh. Enjoy yourselves.” He responds.

“Was there something you wanted to do at home?” I ask. “Figured if you’re going to be working for most of the day then I can have them over.”

“No. No. No. It is okay. I will call to ask if you guys are done before I come home.”

“Okay.”

“If you’re not I might visit mum instead. She is super excited about the birthday party. Planning stuff. Might help her out.”

“Great. Have an amazing day then.”

“You too.”

We look at each other for a few seconds more and he turns around and walks out of the kitchen.

No kiss goodbye.

Not even a hug.

*********

“Gosh Mable. Surely you can’t gobble down a glass of wine as if it’s water.” I say loud enough for her to hear me.

Mable turns around and flashes me a wide smile. For a woman with marital issues she sure does know how to hide them. “All out” are the words I would use to describe Mable right now. The woman took my dress nice words to heart because the back revealing red lace dress she has on hugs her in the right places. Definitely angry. She turns around, giving me her exposed back as she continues to pour herself wine in her wine glass – still shocked she carried her own huge glass.

“I will drink to my husband’s mistakes. My foolishness and stupidity for trusting him.” She says.

“What if he is innocent?” I ask.

She turns around with a frown on her beautiful face as she thinks for her answer. Yes. What if her husband is innocent and she is busy punishing him for nothing?

“What if he’s not?” She asks.

“Is that the best you could up with as a response. Wow.” I respond.

“But to be honest what if he’s not?”

“I’ve told you this countless times Mable. That man loves you. To death. He adores you and the babies.”

“I know he loves his kids. They are his.” She says, rolling her eyes. “This is why we have so many bitter women out there in the world.”

“But Mable. Men suck at love, commitment and everything sugar and nice in this world. Literally.” I argue.

“It’s not supposed to be like that though. We are married. What if we got married too early? What if we are not meant to stay together?”

“After over nine years? Girl…. After all that time you guys realise this? Come on. I know you two are the real deal.”

Mable shakes her head, picks up her full glass of white wine from the kitchen table and smiles.

“I have definitely missed you.” She says to the glass.

I roll my eyes and walk towards her, grab the glass out of her hands before she takes a sip of the liquid. She pouts in my direction but makes no move to grab the glass back as I walk towards the sink.

“You are not drinking until you call that husband of yours and make it right.” I tell her. “He’s probably somewhere with the kids crying right now.”

“Chinyama does not cry hun.” She says as a matter of fact.

She gives me a smile and a wink.

“Gosh Mable. Get your head out of the gutter hun.” I laugh. “You need to talk to him either way.”

“But I can talk to him when I get home.” She argues.

“No. Do it now. Repair the damage now.”

“What damage? Why do I have to do it? Why can’t he call me and explain the situation himself? Why must I always work to save my marriage while he plays with it.”

“Because you are psycho.”

“But it’s his fault I am psycho.”

“Men will be men hun. Now go and call him. Please. I hate seeing you resort to alcohol as a means to happiness.”

She shakes her head and sighs.

“Fine. For you I will call him. By force. He better be thanking his lucky stars.”

“Aww I know you want to call him. Don’t be difficult about it.”

“I will call him. Right now.” She says uninterested.

“Awesome.”

I lift the glass of wine to my lips and take a sip of the chilled wine.

“I like this wine.” I tell her. “I will take this wine I think. And I will keep the glass. Thank you very much.”

She laughs as she reaches for her handbag and takes her phone out. Finally some progress. A door knock sounds and I blow Mable a kiss before heading out of the kitchen.

The other ladies are here.

Time for the fun to begin.

**********

I hear more voices fill up the silence in the house. The rest of the ladies are finally here. I need to be joining them instead of calling a man who doesn’t value the principle of marriage.

Even better, I could have been with Isaac.

Isaac.

I could have been with Isaac. I should have been with him. Gosh. I don’t even know if he will ever talk to me again. If he will ever want to. I don’t even know if he is okay. I hate Chinyama and the mess he wants to put me through. Even after dealing with it I am still facing it.

If I cut the line now then maybe I can still talk to him when I get home drunk and not in the mood for the excuses he has lined up. If I just…..

“Mable. Hello.”

Hearing his voice renders me speechless momentarily What am I supposed to say now? How are you? Where are you? Where is Cynthia? What? I should not have listened to Sampa and called the man.

“Mable.”

“Hi.” I respond.

“Hey.”

“Are the kids okay?”

Definitely not asking if he is okay. Probably will try and guilt trip me into feeling bad that I went over the top with my reaction.

“Yeah. They are great. We are at Kapalu’s.”

“Great.”

Silence. I should not have called him. Do I have make conversation now? Chinyama knows not try and make small talk in case I get angry. It’s always up to me. Pleading.

“What’s happening there?” I ask.

“Nothing. Just visiting. Figured you could use some rest and I will have the kids for the day.”

Rest. Rest being accepting that Cynthia called and moving on from it.

“The kids are having fun already. Don’t worry.”

How selfless.

“Thank you.”

“Are you okay?” He asks slowly.

I know he’s asking if we are okay. If everything is fine. If I have calmed down and forgiven him. Again.

“I am great. I am with my girls.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Yeah.”

“How are they?”

“They are all great. Having lunch and drinks. Discussing what plagues women on this planet.”

He chuckles, he knows I’m being serious. Men are what’s wrong with women on this planet.

“Well enjoy yourselves. Have a blast.” He says.

“Thank you.”

“Should I wait up for you?”

The question hangs in the air for some seconds with me deciding what will be the best answer. Lie or not lie is the question and I know not which is my final decision.

“Mable are you there?”

“Yes.”

“Should I wait up for you?”

*********

“Oh my gosh… Are you finally showing Thandiwe?”

I roll my eyes at Sampa and sigh. This is pushing it now. Surely this shouldn’t be a big deal again.

“That’s exactly what I said when I saw her.” Yolanda says excitedly. “Her bun is growing.”

“Oh come on.” I argue.

“Look at you. Your ass looks big too.” Yolanda responds. “Even your breasts. Can I play with them. I’m jealous.”

She reaches out to grab them and I slap her hands away, she pulls away laughing.

“You are crazy.” I tell her.

“And you’re bigger.” She responds

“I swear she looks bigger than the last time I saw her. Especially around her waist area. Do you see it?” Sonia says pointing at my abdomen.

“Guys. I am not really showing. It’s not that bad.” I argue. “At least not yet.”

“Oh mama yes it is. You are showing. Finally.” Sampa says. “Though I swear I don’t know why you’re wearing jeans. It’s bad for you no?”

“You guys are bullies. I am perfectly fine. Calm down.” I respond.

“Yes you are.” Sampa squeals

She gives me a hug and a kiss before she proceeds to hug the others. Sampa is right. In fact they all are. Seems like I am already showing I am with child. I noticed it as well after much convincing and trying to push my tummy back in. James noticed it too and while he seems over the moon about the sight, I however am lost with the possibility of weight gain, flat breasts and stretch marks. I will look ugly.

“Did all of you drive here?” Sampa asks.

“No. James dropped me off.” I respond. “I swear it’s irritating.”

James’s excuse for dropping me off didn’t make sense to me. He didn’t want me driving alone. Plus with the thought of our “girly chill” ending late he didn’t want me driving at night alone. Protect the baby. Overly caring I think. This pregnancy will surely get me doing nothing in no time if James has his way. If bed rest was an option he would chain me to the bed.

“I drove alone.” Yolanda answers. “None of these friends wanted to pick me up.”

“I offered you said no.” Sonia responds.

“You were too early.” Yolanda pouts.

“You has a man over. That’s it.” Sonia laughs.

“Here.” I tell Sampa as I hand her my grocery bags. “Wine. And the other things I said I would get. Plus extras.”

“Awesome. You’re a darling Thandiwe. Who else has something for me?” Sampa asks.

The other ladies proceed to hand her a few more grocery bags.

“Great. Thank you guys.” Sampa responds. “I need to place this in the kitchen. You all know where the living room. Please head there.”

“Where is Sangu?” Sonia asks

“Working. Doctors never stop to rest.” Sampa answers.

“I don’t know about you guys but I need to start drinking right now.” Yolanda says aloud. “It’s time for me to start. Whiskey.”

“I will bring everything to the living room. No worries.” Sampa responds happily. “Make yourselves comfortable.”

“Where is Mable?” Sonia asks. “Didn’t see her car. Surely she can not be late for this.”

“You wish. She’s in the kitchen. On the phone.” Sampa starts. “Chinyama.”

“Ohhh, how is that going?” I ask. “She losing it yet?”

“Actually no. She’s in a better mood than I expected to be honest. She will be joining us as soon as she’s done.”

“Cool.” I respond.

“Head to the living room. I’ll find all of you there.”

Sampa walks away towards the kitchen while the rest of us head to the living room.

“Oooh this is ridiculously beautiful.” Yolanda screams ahead of me. “I swear I could so live this life.”

I roll my eyes.

********

If I had my way I would be in bed. Right now.

Getting kisses and everything else my body needs. I have to call him. Soon. Or should I wait for him to call me? I need to get him off my mind. This instant. My eyes meet Thandiwe’s and she sticks her tongue out at me.

“So, Than…di…we…. Now that we believe you are pregnant when are we finding out if you’re carrying a human baby or a machine?” I ask

“Yolanda…” Sonia chides.

Thandiwe looks at me, and the saying if looks could kill comes to mind. She can’t take a joke anymore. Gosh. I am grateful she is sitting across from me in the living room. Then again one never knows, Thandiwe might jump the glass table in the middle and grab my neck.

“What?” I ask. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m sorry.”

“Yolanda can you let Thandiwe be?” Sonia asks.

I laugh. She knows I mean well. And so does Thandiwe. Thandiwe actually looks amazing even though she’s probably squeezing the baby to death in her jeans. She’s probably still holding onto her clothes hoping she can still make the look work. Soon enough she will need a new wardrobe.

“Don’t listen to Yolanda. We are all happy you are showing love.” Sonia says to Thandiwe. “I can’t wait to see they little thing. So excited.”

Thandiwe smiles, at last.

“It’s scary though.” She says. “It’s a human being inside. Growing. Freaks me out. And to think I will going for my first ultrasound scan next week freaks me out guys.”

“Awwwww. So awesome. Life at its finest yes?” Sonia answers.

“You’re gonna be an awesome mother Thandiwe.” I tell her.

“Thank you.” She responds. “Plus I have all of you to help me out.”

Thandiwe’s eyes well up with tears. Oh my. She’s going to cry. Right here? Right now? What happened to the diva queen? Oh no. She sniffs and laughs.

“I am a mess.” She laughs. “Don’t mind the tears. They are happy tears.”

We laugh, I watch her wipe her tears away. It’s an overwhelming experience for her.

“Drinks for everybody!!”

Sampa walks into the living room, tray in her hands, glasses filled with liquid. Finally. Mable walks in behind her, glass of white wine in her hands.

“Hello ladies!!” Mable exclaims.

“Hey.” Sonia, Thandiwe and I answer.

“I missed you guys.” She says loudly.

Sampa places the tray on the glass table and quickly walks out of the living room. Mable sits down next to me, blowing me and the others a kiss. I move to the edge of the sofa and grab the nearest glass off the tray. Bingo. My drink. I take a sip and sigh in bliss. My day will be perfect.

“We missed you too mama. Are you okay?” Thandiwe asks. “Is all alright in the world of marital bliss.”

“I’m okay.” Mable responds.

“Chinyama? Is he alive?” I ask.

Mable laughs and looks at me. “Unfortunately he is. Ya’ll think I’m crazy.”

“You are crazy. You talked to him?” Sonia asks

“I have. I have. But gosh I’m so angry.” She responds. “I’m trying to understand it all. Wherever. It will be fine. He will explain this shit.”

“Poor man.” Thandiwe says. “Knowing you he is in for the shit of his life.”

“You’re supporting him?” Mable asks

“No. Never. I hate him too.” Thandiwe laughs.

We can never hate Chinyama. We can complain about him but we can never hate him. Mable and him have been through too much and we, as her friends respect him. He’s done a lot for Mable that most men would have to chosen to run away from. Granted Chinyama does some crazy things but we still love them both. Together. So I know for a fact Mable and him will make it through whatever is going on right now. I reach out and pat Mable’s shoulder.

“It will be okay. He will change by the whip.” I tell Mable.

“What are you guys talking about?” A breathless Sampa says as she walks in.

“Men. And their drama.” Mable responds.

She takes a gulp of her drink and rolls her eyes. Sampa places another tray on the table with bowls of crisps, corn puffs and salted nuts.

“You would think I deserve this nonsense. But I dont. What is it that I did wrong? My husband does not respect me or our marriage.” She says.

“Maybe he does. And Cynthia is just trying to make him think otherwise.” Sonia says.

“I hate them both. Having a mistress that never leaves. Sharing a man and all his attention.”

We all keep silent. Finally she lets it out.”

“I wish I could beat her up. Or him.” She continues.

“Men are trash.”Men are trash hun.” Sampa says. “I wholeheartedly agree with you. You know what’s worse? Being uncertain about a relationship. Look at my relationship. I have no idea where I stand anymore. I feel as feel I’m arguing with Sangu and yet we have had no fight since he came back.” Sampa says.

“Dude still acting up?” Sonia asks

“It’s worse. I don’t know whats going on with him. What if he’s cheating?” Sampa asks. “What if he has no idea as to how to break up with me? And I’m here praying we work. If he’s still thinking about the baby thing then maybe we need to break up.”

“It’s better than deciding if your man’s mother is worth the relationship or not.” Sonia responds.

“I swear I hope I never go through any of the problems you’re going through.” I start. “I feel sad for all of you. You deserve all the happiness in the world.”

Gosh they all have drama. Except Thandiwe. Either way the drama revolves around men. Men are difficult all the time and yet I have two men in my bed getting from them what I need.

“If I had a chance to relive my life I would probably be like you.” Mable tells me.

“Me?” I ask. “Like me? Sleeping with two bosses from the same company?”

Their shocked faces make me laugh.

“I swear Yolanda you always have the most drama among all of us.” Sampa says. “How do you sleep with two bosses? Which one is this one now? Is the old man still around?”

I smile at them. Their eyes look at me each of their face telling me they want to know more.

“The old man is still around.” I tell them. “Very much around. Pleasure for grabs.”

“He’s married.” Sonia says shocked.

“So. Men love the idea of having the wife and the mistress.” I say quickly. “But not yours Mable. He loves you too much. And not yours Thandiwe.”

Mable laughs. “Did you just talk about married men and leave mine out?”

“Yes I did.” I laugh.

“So who is the other man you’re sleeping with? A board member? Director?” Sampa asks.

“Well his name is Masulani. He’s like a hottie. Plus he’s my supervisor.”

“Eish Yolanda. You sleeping with your immediate boss?” Thandiwe asks.

My smile is an answer enough.

“What if you get caught?” Thandiwe asks. “Or what if the men find out. Men talk.”

“Well then it’s happened.” I respond.

“See, I wish I had her life. Fun all day.” Mable says. “I swear I need to face that stupid man and his Cynthia.”

“You can.” Yolanda says

“Don’t encourage her Yoli.” Thandiwe argues.

“Chinyama, Cynthia and my choice of whip.” Mable responds.

“You’re gonna beat him?” asks a shocked Sampa.

“Maybe.” Mable responds.

“She’s joking.” Sonia laughs as she looks at Sampa.

“Oh. Okay.” Sampa responds. “We never know with you Mable.”

We all look at her and she laughs.

“I’m a nice wife. You guys know I am. And I am different. Surely at this point in my life what’s the worst thing I can do? Follow her again? Throw him out or maybe cheat on him?”

“Oohhh find you a nice tough man to hold you and put you to bed.” I squeal.

Just like Masulani did last night when he showed up. Gosh.

“You’re right Yolanda.” Mable says. “I could cheat on him. Make him feel the way I did. Only fair.”

“Do it.” I urge her.

“Gosh Yolanda. You’re so bad for Mable. Period.” Sonia laughs. “Don’t do it Mable. You have kids remember. Stay with Chinyama for them.”

“Exactly. I agree with Sonia. You don’t need to destroy their lives.” Sampa adds.

“I will die a bitter woman.” Mable responds.

“A drunk bitter old woman.” I respond

And we laugh.

To be continued…….

from WordPress http://bit.ly/2JsawiR via IFTTT http://bit.ly/2Uve0H8 May 18, 2019 at 12:00PM

[soulful-ofevans]

Somebody To Love - Chris Evans

summary: Chris keeps trying to tell you he’s in this for the long haul. You, however, don’t think he realizes what the haul will enquire. Does he know there’s more to you than what you show him? Does he see the pain in your eyes?  

people: Chris - Reader (you)

warnings: none. 

word count: 1.6k

a/n: I want this to be dedicated to a loving and caring person who knows what having everyday pain is like. @sfreeborn you are a warrior, and like me, you have to get up and go on with your day even when it feels like hell. You are so amazing and I just hope this imagine is something you’ll enjoy, I only want to make you happy, dear. - R .xx

Have you ever felt just…so angry at nothing? You just endure the anger because you can't blame anyone! You just swallow the pill of tolerance every day and wait until you've reached the point of no return. You become your anger. Water that's boiling hot in a spot right inside your heart. Your loved ones, they try to help but what can help a lost cause? I'm gone, I'm done. I can't keep pretending, and I know it'll feel like ripping off a band-aid of a bee sting. But he knows it, and I know it.

I'm not enough.

I'm just so angry, all the time… but who am I angry at? Myself? My body for defying it’s one duty of protecting and nurturing me? No. I was just angry. Angry.

My eyes opened fast and immediately I regretted my decision to wake up. I lifted up my arms to rub my eyes and sit up but fell back into the bed. My arms felt like I'd gone to the gym last night and lifted twenty-pound weights; all night long. Aching so badly my hand shook as I reached for my phone on the bedside table. Typing in my password, I opened up my messages and saw his name right at the top of my contact list, with a blue dot on the left.

Chris: Love wake up! Your coming to set today to meet the cast! Anthony says he’s excited to meet Mrs. America haha XP

Chris: Honey? :)

Chris: Ladybug? You're normally awake by ten… are you okay?

Chris: Babe?

Chris: okay I'm worried now, I've called ten times, I’m coming home.

Jesus... why the hell was he up my ass right now?

Glancing at the time my body released a tender sigh, 2:45 P.M.

How had I missed his calls? I always knew it was him by his custom ringtone; “Single Ladies” by Beyoncé. My ringer was on loud too, so why the hell had I missed them all?

Dropping my phone onto the white comforter that held me hostage in a tight, comfy cocoon. Awaiting for Chris to come through the door in panic any minute. He'd be racing the highway to get here and I was already guilt-ridden enough, I didn't want to cause him an accident by calling him so I awaited his booming voice he never realized pierced my eardrums like shards of glass.

***

The fight started when he found her in her pajamas, rifling through the tea collection in the kitchen. When he saw her, looking to him like just a lazy-ass, he started in on her. Never seeing the pain in her eyes as his voice hurt her ears like he was scraping his nail down the chalkboard. She tried to hold her own, but there was a Mardi Gras that was going on inside her brain that prohibited her from even hearing his voice. That was, until he slammed his keys on the kitchen counter, making my pain suddenly become power. Angry, nasty, vulnerable power.

“You listen to me, Chris!” His head jumped up to look at her red, puffy eyes. They poured anger into his, and immediately Chris felt himself realize his fuck up of yelling. 

He knew she had chronic pain. Normally, she would just power through it. Lately, though, she seemed… slower, more tired and less driven to be intimate with him… he should’ve known that there was more than just a headache to her chronic pain.

“You listen, okay? I’m am a fucking mess, Chris! I have days, where I can’t get out of bed! I’m depressed, therefore I’m not a confident person, ever. I’m always uncomfortable, scared or tired! Do you know how that feels? A-And, s-sometimes I’m just…sometimes I have days where I need someone. Because my brain is questioning everything and everyone. My brain goes into overdrive and suddenly I’m terrified we're going to get a nuclear attack or I am gonna have like this… massive stroke! I have this severe anxiety and then come to the panic attacks. I have chronic. pain. I am not going to get better, it just a fact. And I hate that! I hate that so fucking much but it’s my life! I deal with it. I do what I can, but I will be damned if I drag someone I love into my personal hell, Christopher. You don’t need someone like me. You deserve a lot bet-”

“No, I don’t, Y/N because you're mine. You are my woman. I love you, dammit! More than I ever thought I possibly could. I want to be here, there, anywhere you have to go! I want to be at your side. To help you through the pain, cheer you on as you continue getting your therapies. Baby, I don’t need anyone else. I don’t know how to convince you, darling… how can I get you to believe in me! Believe in the truth! There’s no one else I need or want. You’re my one, baby. You must know that, or at least feel that.” You shook your head, though, looking down at the blue tips of your hands, angry with Chris’s words. 

Standing up I went to walk away but halted, feeling that gnawing off my anger bubbling up in my stomach for some reason, this time I didn’t suppress it, I took it in and embraced that anger, letting it flood the room with my poisonous tone. Even Chris jumped when he heard my roar.

“WHY DO YOU WANT SOMEONE WHO CAN’T BE WHAT YOU WANT? WHY? YOU COULD HAVE HAD THE HOTTEST WOMEN IN THE WORLD, I DON’T GET IT, CHRISTOPHER!” 

Tears streamed like rivers down your cheeks but you couldn’t care less, you felt broken and wanted help. You hurt and wanted to be cared for. You were exhausted to the point of just passing out on the floor. You wouldn't even mind if that happened, though. It'd help in forgetting that this fight ever occurred.

Chris decided to come back at me one final time. Throwing his emotional pain into his words, finally letting me see an emotion I rarely saw in Chris; desperation.

“WHY DON’T YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND I’M IN LOVE YOU! THAT’S IT. YOU ARE THE ONE I WANT, FOREVER!”

When he stopped. It was like his final words did it for me, things clicked and I saw behind those blue eyes that he was telling the cold, hard, truth. He was leaving me, he wanted to be with me... and though those words didn’t make sense in my mind now, I felt comforted in a weird way, like I was actually... loved, by someone.

 We didn’t speak. we just let our bodies talk to us. 

Maybe it was the pain that finally got to her, letting her emotional barricade be broken down, allowing Chris to come over to her side of this violent, kitchen war. My legs were shaking and he could tell I was in immense pain from standing so long. Quickly he swept me up from the floor and into his arms. I relaxed into his chest while my arms hung around Chris’s neck.

He pecked my forehead steadily as he reached our bedroom, laying me down on the comforter while he searched for a blanket to cover me. I felt my eyes getting droopier and droopier by the second. Like they always say, you never know when you slip into sleep, it just comes over you and takes you in. I gladly let sleep take away me in, dissipating the pounding headache and throbbing limbs I was suffering with. I knew when  I woke up, he’d be right by my side. Things would be different, though, he’d know what’s happening, he’d be different when he talks about going out and doing active things. 

  Chris would take a while to mildly understand what my chronic pain felt like, but I would gladly wait with him as he learned from watching. He was a guardian for me, I guess. I could hold my own if I wanted too. But sometimes, you just want to be loved and taken care of.  

                                                          Chris

Looking at her, I studied her silently. She looked so… defeated. Defeated by her own body, I couldn’t imagine anything worse than getting fucked over by myself. Never being able to stop it. She closed her eyes slowly and let out a sigh of relief. From what? I don’t know. I silently padded around the bedroom, grabbing her two blankets and a glass of water in case she had a headache in the morning. Which normally was the case. Crawling onto the other half of the bed, I just… watched. I watched over her, feeling like I was protecting her from something. Maybe whatever I was protecting her from was all made up in my head, but frankly, I didn’t give a fuck. 

This was my woman, and I was going to care for her. Every moment, of every day. Because she deserved this.

tagged:  @boredoutofmymindstuff  @iamimanim  @hibaabdo@oneshots-imagines-and-that @neonwolf2020 @toc1985 @mculove1@chrisevans-imagines @ptprocrastination @evansscruff@jamesgiuseppe @boston-boy-evans @writingcreatingstorytelling@username-evie@imaginingbucky@boredoutofmymindstuff@shamvictoria11@ateliefloresdaprimavera@raveviolet @i-am-cass-1@tranquilsouls-riotousthoughts@myluvislikewow @nalatheshadequeen @not-your-cup-of-joe  @musiccoffebook @nea90sweetie @jinxx-ed13 @j-jewel-l@ethereal-beaut-y @jemjemiansworld@hiddenavengers @itsteph13@rachael-othman @abigrumple  @jasli123@jamesboobchananbarnes1234@emmucz @happelu970 @amandulie@bisexualbuddhist@imaginesofdreams @teacoffeebooks @chrisevans-sexualfrustrations @stylesnbarnes @bsicthought@captainmqmeep@marrish-af @100acresofwood  @missmotherhen@science-of-deduction-sh @sireanscall @crapythings@batmanbreeann@amyyleblanc1999 @coldeath @hhedegard@happelu970 @hollycornish@justanneforyou @ramiramblings@training-wolves@dracodormiensnunquamtitillandush @oneshots-imagines-and-that@coldplaylover17-blog @amandulie@whatmakesmebeme-tblr@giftofdreams @sfreeborn @winters–doll @purplekitten30

[moxlcy]

the previous day had gone exceptionally well. it was as if the pair had been around one another a lot more than they actually had before. their flight had went perfectly, travelling to their hotel and venue the same. for jon himself, it almost felt too good to be true; having the beaut join him on his weekly work venture. having her backstage was a whole different feel. not to mention the mood he had carried in with him to work, his usual ‘keep your distance’ feel being completely dropped when interacting with his coworkers while still in the women’s presence. it easily had been a noticeable shift for the man himself. leading into the later part of the evening, his match went exactly how he wanted it to. however once the adrenaline had worn itself down, the soreness was easily evident mainly in his back and ear, but a tad to his worked-on knee. thankfully though, his pain threshold was higher than almost anyone else he had met before. it was nothing a few muscle relaxers and stitches couldn’t solve. though he hadn’t exactly thought about it until out in the ring, but the last time alexis had seen him wrestle live had easily been back in his Dean Ambrose days. days of which had drastically changed in the way he wrestled now; the violence level soaring to all new heights. following the end of the show and his regular trip to the medical area, it was as though the hotel was calling his name. their evening together felt very regular couple-y as the two eventually found themselves ever so comfortably in bed, jon laying on the side that kept his ear as safe as it could while wrapping his large arm around the petitely framed woman throughout the night.

their wakeup call came all too fast however. the groaning mox merely dragging himself around before the two left for their flight back home, as though they had just blinked from their last plane ride. again, the flight went without a hitch. the grizzled man slept easily during their flight, hand in hand with the blonde. though he normally dealt with soreness after such an intense match, over all the ohioan was feeling much better than the previous night. and with the help of the boosted medication, he knew he would be just fine with still going ahead with the last-minute planned disney trip. following the flight itself, the pair retrieved their luggage before making their way back out to the parkcade; unable to miss the overly large truck parked merely in it’s own safe area; loading themselves inside. thankfully, on the way over to his ex wife’s home, coffee was a much needed pick-me-up, running through a drive thru before driving the last few blocks to renee’s home. the idea of getting to see his daughter when initially he had expected to not see her until the start of the following week was a deep ended happiness pouring from him. there was something about the joy the child brought him that carried far. it was overly noticeable, and yet he didn’t ever care to hide it. 

pulling into the driveway of the decently sized home; the engine of the truck dying off before he gulped down a few jon-mouth full’s of his caffeine beverage before turning to the woman. the unbuckling of his seat belt was evident while her question flowed out to him, a quick shake of his head coming as a response. “i’m sure Nay want’s to say hi. she was crazy excited about this idea..” smirking back at the woman, his hand reaching over the middle leathered compartment to unbuckle her own seat belt for her before sliding out of the drivers seat and making his way around the vehicle to join her. “plus I have to load up one of the million strollers renee splurged on and never used.” without really thinking twice on it, his hand returned to hers before walking up the walkway of the home, the idea of renee’s own reaction of the two not bothering the man whatsoever. there was no knocking on the door. jon turned the handle and entered, guiding the woman inside with him before speaking out, the sound of frankie and blue barking their greetings as they bolted to the front door coming rather quickly. “hey, we’re heeeerrreeeee..” he spoke out, bending over to pet the happy pups. moments later, the sight of renee and their daughter in her arms came into view, a full smile on his ex’s face as soon as she saw the pair in front of her. jon and renee quickly had their parenting back and forth, speaking of letting her know whether nora would be coming back later or staying with the two overnight which was to be decided later on in the day. 

taking advantage of the moment, jon left lexi in the home for a brief few moments as he loaded up her to-go bag and stroller into his truck before returning, eyes bolting back and forth between the two blondes happily. “Noooooori Nooooooraaaa...” he spoke softly, hands opening to release renee’s hold and take the child into his arms, the little one propped up against his chest while she starred down at the shorter woman. “say byebye to mama..” the instant dad-ness of him was at full surface; jon waving to prompt his daughter to mimic the same, only for her to repeat the word ‘mama’ from him before they exited the home. smiling back at alexa, the taller man made his way back to the truck, hoisting himself into the backseat to get the little one all safely buckled into her car seat while talking to her. “you are going to love lexi, little one..” doing what toddlers do, all she did was stare at the pink hair ended woman, curious eyes dawning with far too little blinks. handing nora her designated sippy cup for the ride to the park before gently as ever closing the rear door to rejoin the woman in the front of the truck again. “renee didn’t scare you or anything, did she? I’ve always expected some kind of mama bear thing with her, but she wouldn’t stop texting me being overly excited about you coming..” while speaking, the engine of his truck returned to life, backing out of the driveway and in the direction disney world was calling from.

[atypical60]

Why is it that I start out gung-ho with my weight loss plans, and then something happens to send me off the wagon? Is it just me who does that?  Am I the only one?

Yeah!  Why am I?  Why am I so consistently inconsistent?

Seriously.  It’s like Roseanne Barr blaming Ambien for her racism.  I should blame M & M’s for my fat ass.

Hey you guys–and Greenie!  Don’t get your knickers in a twist. I’m NOT blaming you for my weight issues.  Although I do have a tendency to eat way too much of you……..

But I don’t.  I take full responsibility for my actions regarding food.

The fact is that I love food.  I love cooking and food is more than a meal to me.  Food is enjoyment.  It’s that Holiday meal that you share for hours at the table with family and loved ones. It’s that three-day weekend where you have cookouts and barbeques with your friends.  It’s the birthdays and graduations and life events that end up centering around food.

It’s the freaking 3/4 of a BAG of these chips I ate because I got “sad” when Roman left us to go back to NYC.  

And I need to realize that I’m a bit over-the-top when it comes to this subject.  I got on the scale this morning after three weekends of wonderful times with the kids and with Bonaparte! I’m five pounds heavier than three weeks ago.  And I’m thoroughly disgusted with myself.

Trust me. When I was at Oona and Sam’s I finished off an excessive amount of these.

I ate my way with gusto and pleasure through Cincinnati when I went to visit Oona and the next weekend I still managed to enjoy the gastronomic pleasure of escargot, steak and other delicacies.  Last weekend when Roman came to visit it was Salmon Rillettes, more steak, Béarnaise sauce, Pina Coladas, home-baked bread and enough corn chips to go around the circumference of the earth.

I don’t even want to begin to count the POINTS in the Pina Coladas I made!  Apparently the sugar from the coconut cream, pineapple juice and rum, stays in your body doing very bad things after you drink these.  Going pee-pee doesn’t get rid of the sugar weight gain!

And today I feel guilty.  I feel like a liar because I’m kind of a bad blogger to not be so diligent.

But no fear!  I’m back on track.  Last night I had bad gas pains because it’s been a while since I made spicy Vietnamese Lemongrass Chicken.

Most likely the healthiest food I’ve eaten in the past three weeks! But it gave me gas!

Bonaparte, being the loving husband, he is, made me an Alka Seltzer, and like Scarlett O’Hara, I looked forward to the “another day” of tomorrow.

Hey there Scarlett–don’t you give me the side eye!  I’m just like you!

So, today is tomorrow and now that tomorrow is yesterday (are you following?) so it’s back to being diligent and counting points.

This evening I’ll have a turkey burger with sliced tomato on a Flat-out bread. One of my favorite vegetables, broccoli will be served on the side and for dessert, a healthy helping of fresh strawberries.

Look!  Only two points!  Now to turn this into a burger bun…..

Let’s hope that the 2018 tomatoes have flavor!!!

A most healthy dessert and no points!!!

I have cucumber and Laughing Cow cheeses as well as Melba Toasts for my lunch during the work week.

I’ll slice the cukes,  and place them atop the Laughing Cow cheese that is spread on the Melba Toasts!  Just like in the picture on the box!

Now that I’ve come clean about my inconsistency, I’m feeling much better!

It’s a cloudy Sunday and the weather has cooled down to a brisk 64 degrees.  It’s funny because 64 degrees is only “brisk” during the summer months.  Had the mercury hit that number during the winter, it would be “unseasonably warm”.  Am I right?

Because my husband was so good to me with the Alka Seltzer, I decided to wear black hair today.  Well, it was also because of a bit of melancholia over missing my natural hair.  Something hit the emotional button this morning and I just really missed that mop o’ hair that I used to curse due to it’s unmanageability.  I grabbed an oldie but goodie out of the bowels of my wig collection and plopped her on my head.

I went with dark hair today. Just like the hair I was born with–sort of!  I forgot how great this Bobbi Boss “Millie” bob wig is.  Maybe I’ll order her in a lighter color!

After this bout of sadness, it was time to get moving.  My nails were so disgusting that I finally got a proper manicure.  Kim cut my nails down because it allows for a healthier growth—besides, I type all day at work and long nails mess me up.  And—a fresh coating or three of my favorite Big Apple Red and I was off to run errands.

Phew!  Once again, the hands are looking like those that the Lartigue men find so appealing.  Well-manicured with red polish!

You know, I hadn’t been to Marshall’s in ages.  When I worked around the corner from the store, it was a regular “stop-by-on-the-way-home” for me.  It’s in the same shopping complex as the Walmart I drive to and it was time to revisit.

Now, I have enough clothing for the summer but it’s always nice to pick up an item or two to add to the mix.  And sometimes you never quite know what will end up in your shopping cart.  Since I had time to kill and no place special to be, I roamed around and tried a few things on.

The shirtwaist dresses that tie in front have always been of great interest to me. I love them but have never seen any in stores—just on women passing by.  When I saw this Calvin Klein number on the clearance rack for $20, I couldn’t help myself.  I tried on the 8 and the 6.  Why didn’t they have an in-between size?  The 8 was just too big and the 6, although it fit better—had the same issue so many dresses do.  The waist was cut too high.  It would have been a wasted purchase for me because I would be tugging down on the waist all day.  Again, this would have been such a great dress if the waist was more long-torso friendly.

This dress though.  Man, if the dress hadn’t been so short-waisted, it would have come home with me.  What a shame–but I just can’t see buying a dress if I’m constantly tugging and pulling at it!

Next was a striped body-con midi.  I LOVED this dress and I’m not a midi person but there was something about the cut that was so appealing to me.  At $14.99, I’m sitting here writing this post and I regret not making the purchase!

Regrets, I’ve had a few–and this is one of them.  I loved this one but passed!

Here’s what I did add to my wardrobe.

A black and white striped jumpsuit.  Now this came as a massive surprise because jumpsuits are way out of my comfort zone. But I have to say, this jumpsuit is so light and is cut so nicely and has pockets!! It came as a shock at how much I loved this and at $19.99 the price was too good to pass by.  The top is a more classic cut and my concern was the length of the pants.

This could have been a tad more long-waisted, but the blouson top rescues it!  I freaking LOVE this!!!!

And then I realized something; which is why you should never throw anything away.  I have a pair of shoes that are over ten years old that I’ve only worn once, and I love.  They would be a perfect match for this striped beaut.

Proof that it pays to hold on to things.  These shoes will be perfect for the jumpsuit!

I’ll be wearing this to work during the week.

The other purchase, another $19.99 fantastic find, is a short-sleeved maxi dress.  A proper short-sleeved dress is very difficult to find.  For some bizarre reason, short sleeves are, for the most part, so short that they are almost the hideous cap sleeve.  Not flattering on the pro-aging arms.  However, this dress had those coveted short sleeves that every short-sleeved article of clothing should have!  Add to that, the dress has slits on the sides making movement more comfortable.  I absolutely adore this dress and know it’ll get a lot of wear into the Fall!

Look at those sleeves!  And the slits are very becoming because they don’t go up all the way. Very pro-aging friendly and I prefer a maxi to a caftan anyway.  With sandals or my white low-top converse sneakers this dress is a great casual Friday dress!  

Oh!!  And guess what else?  You know the Essence palette I wrote about in yesterday’s blog post?  Where I compared the Essence “Mauvie-time” to Mac’s “Quarry”?  Well, that little palette I created has another fantastic dupe—yes it does!!  The shadow “Steel The Show” is an exact dupe for Urban Decay’s “Pistol” (And if you are a regular reader of this blog you are very much aware of the condescending email Urban Decay sent me and therefore I have stopped purchasing any of the brand’s products).

Essence “Steel the Show” on top.  Urban Decay’s “Pistol” on the bottom.  Where’s the difference? Both have excellent pigmentation and I’m wearing “Steel the Show” today.  Check it out in the photo up top of me in the wig!

Pistol comes in at the price of $20 for 0.05 US oz. of product, where Steel the Show costs $1.99 for 0.06 oz. of product!  That’s a huge price difference!

The past week flew by. Being off on Monday really made that work week short.  And I’m lucky to work for a large corporation with an office casual dress code but I think this coming week, I’ll dress up a bit more! Here’s a look at my casual work looks from the week.

Tuesday and back after a three-day weekend!  It was very casual–or rather lazy dressing!

Wednesday and a favorite white skirt from Uniqlo that I bought on sale for practically nothing either last year or the year before.  A fitted striped shirt and ballet flats and I felt like Bardot!

I was too lazy to shave my legs on Thursday so I wore an old pair of J. Crew Minnie pants paired with a ten dollar top from Old Navy from last year.

Just in case anyone forgot what day it was, I wore this to remind my coworkers that it was Friday!!  J. Crew Factory has been stepping it up with some great items.  Both the tee and skirt are from there!

My girlfriends Linda and Sandy both suggested I do a post with a step-by-step on how I apply my makeup. What do you think?  Promising idea?  I think it’ll be fun so this week I’ll be concentrating on how I do my everyday makeup.  Post to follow….

Have a great Sunday afternoon and evening and an even greater week to come!

  My Consistent Inconsistency —Is it Just Me??? Why is it that I start out gung-ho with my weight loss plans, and then something happens to send me off the wagon?

[x-never-stay-sober-x]

A constant fear of smudging up the lipstick you’re wearing for the first time. Never knew it’d be a gruelling task to control sneezing when down with cold & no idea of how to chomp a burger without ruining everything…

Hi fam! I attended this week’s most anticipated event which every fashion enthusiast sits tight for. The Amazon India Fashion Week Autumn-Winter ’17 with Maybelline New York and boy! It was all glitzy & glamorous. From veteran designers to street style-inspired folk, ramp walks with captivating jazz music in the background to celebs spotting, it was one big fashion fiesta.

It was my first official drop in on the fashion week. Though I was caught up with mild illness (it still fucks you up, right?) I still managed to make appearances on day 2 & day 3. And trust me I would’ve gone bonkers if I had to turn up for one more day.

Day 2 was less challenging & trouble free but after all the exertion, on Day 3, I woke up with sour throat & blocked nose. This was supposed to be a video blog alright! but I’m still down with cold & fever. You won’t like a person coughing, sneezing in every 20 seconds talking about fashion week in a video, would you?

Enough with the self pity I’m here to share the lookbook from the event where your boy made his grand impression with being featured astonishingly all over the social media & made you guys proud.

Oh & not to forget, I’ll also share my bittersweet experience meeting the fancies but later in the article.

Lookbook

Day 2:

While everyone around me were sticking to stay minimalistic, I remembered what Gaga taught me over my nourishing years. That to stand out, you have to reveal your most distinctive side out there. This was obviously a risky roulette because it could’ve gone completely opposite of what it actually turned out to be which is amazeballs. To glam up my first day, I chose to wear something ethnic. Something elegant, contemporary yet effortless.

Top- This traditionally inspired maroon drawstring Kurti designed by myself perfectly contrasted with other fragments of the look. Detailing’s everything & so were these beautiful shiny golden hangings attached to the top which gave all the rage to the attire. Also these fad hangings were perfect for the twirl. You know something’s missing until you don’t one of those slo-mo twirling videos. Yes I can hear you saying ‘cliché’. Haha.

Bottom– As I mentioned in my previous blog that 90’s making a huge comeback. This fashion week hugely spotted bell bottoms, flared trousers, palazzos etc. And so inspired by this bold & spunky trend, I wore this black beaut. I want to tag it as a desi palazzo, you can call it a sharara or whatsoever you’d like to label it as. Alright! No room for skepticism. Fabindia

Dupatta– Pattern play? Yes! Versatile, light weight & easy to carry, totally! This majorly gives a suave statement. Yes as a first timer, I did a pretty job carrying it off quite elegantly without tripping off. Well okay! I’ll be lying if I won’t give you a moment of laughter where I almost got stuck with this sass while getting out of a label store. But here it is, I managed not to embarrass myself & strolled with poise.

Related Accessories– Vintage silver neckwear, sliver handband- from the streets of pink city, Jaipur. Snazzy Rose Coloured Glasses– Coolwinks. Espadrilles– Koovs

Day 3-

Different day, different mood. It was time for a fresh, modish & avant-garde look. Also the most appreciated, all over the social media, among the best styled outfits at the fashion week. I wanted to do something divergent & hence both the outfits are poles apart. When you’re among the most fancy & most fashionable crowd considered, you’ve got to bring out your A game.

Top- The self print black silk, opened mandarin collar shirt which I had with myself for more than 5 years finally found its way out from deepest part of my wardrobe. So black, so shiny that there’s no chance that it would get unnoticed.

Lip kit- How many of you men & women out there actually slay a dark violet colour lip shade without being apprehensive? I say anybody can. Should I tell the method to pull off such futuristic trends & outfits? The Method is there’s no method involved. Wait I’ll try & make sense.

All you need is handful of courage, little self confidence & boldness. There! You’re good to go. If you closely follow my snaps & stories, you probably know how desperately I waited for my shipment to arrive. Omg! That was like a dream come true, right on the door itself.

Sunglasses- Marc Jacobs

Some of you have already seen me wearing the various shades by Kylie cosmetics (Did I mention that I’m not at all embarrassed to admit the fact that I’m highly fucking obsessed with King Kylie & her products & her pets & her pretty silicon boobs & her amazing fake ass & her lips. Also fuck you if you’re a hater)

This might look absurd to you. You might not know me or might be reading my blog for the first time or you don’t really know what I preach. But here it is: Everybody has the right to wear, kiss, fuck, love whosoever & whatsoever they want, as simple as that. And if you’re still not ready to accept this, very politely, you can stop reading & close the screen.

Lip kit- Kylie Cosmetics

Bottom- Have a look at how perfectly it blends & compliments the whole attire. These Silver silk palazzos from Koovs fashion was indeed worth spending my pocket money on. As mentioned earlier, Velvet & silk are trending & here to stay for a while. Make a read of my previous blog post for more information regarding its styling.

Silver espadrilles– Will you stop wearing white sneakers fucking everywhere? Please! I’ve got some amazing alternatives. Like these pretty little espadrilles from Koovs. Also they’re comfort af.

Related Accessories–

DIY ALERT-

This area is opened up to million of possibilities. Bring out your creative side & make your own quirky accessories, like I did. The black thing you see wrapped around my fingers is actually the black tape which I got from an electrical appliance store.

  The amazing silver rings you see, some of them are from online accessories portal like Koovs, Jabong & some of them are thrifted.

Watch- Tag Heuer

Sling bag- To carry my eyewear, little water bottle, battery pack & other important stuff.

Ankle Jewelry- Jaipur

Now that the detailed post-mortem is done let me briefly share what all happened at the autumn winter fashion week, my experience & learnings:

Highlights- Autumn/winter 2017 collection by Huemn, Péro & few other labels had an energy packed, unique runway presentation. Minimalistic layerings to wallpaper prints, metallic trousers to turtlenecks, Rainwear to athleisure, we saw everything trending which I’ve always discussed in my last post.

Also I did my research before going & so few things you should know if you’re going as newbie to the fashion week:

* Never go basic- Leave your basic outfits at home & bring out the fashionista in you or else you’re doomed.

* People constantly judge you, now no matter how perfect you look you can still see that slight bit of criticism in their eyes, so fuck it & chill out.

* Meet new people– You’re not there to hang out with your friends.

* Make sure you have an enchanting pair of sunglasses on, the whole time during the afternoon.

* Compliments– You can’t be mean to person who’s already having a bad day, that too when he/she doesn’t have any idea of it.

* Be good at small talks– Know how to end a conversation & strike another within the same breath.

* Starstruck– Chances are that you surely gonna get bumped into someone you deeply admire & at that moment please try not be paralysed or speechless. And if you do. Well! Then we can share a mutual feeling.

Please feel free to share your views in comment section below, anything you’d like to say.

I’ll see you guys super soon until then

Stay well, stay humble.

  Akshay Sharma

NSS.

    Lookbook- Amazon India Fashion Week Autumn/Winter 2017 A constant fear of smudging up the lipstick you're wearing for the first time. Never knew it'd be a gruelling task to control sneezing when down with cold & no idea of how to chomp a burger without ruining everything...

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Where Does The NWHL Go From Here?

Illustration: Sam Woolley

The inaugural season of the National Women’s Hockey League was touted by the press as a rousing success. It provided an outlet for North America’s talented female hockey players to continue on with the game post-grad and in between Olympic years, and the salaries, although low, made professional athletes of the women who participated. Buoyed by flattering coverage, paid attendance hovered around 1,000 people per game, according to the league—respectable crowds for the small rinks where the four teams play.

Internally, it felt like a culmination of so many shared dreams come true. Commissioner Dani Rylan had aspired to play for the Lightning as a hockey-crazed kid in Tampa but hung up her skates after playing at Northeastern. Now at age 29, she’s the youngest female C-suiter in American professional sports and just as much a fan of the game as her relative peers on the ice. To those involved, it seemed like they were all in it together.

“It’s a family atmosphere, it’s like being part of a family business,” New York Riveters defender Kaleigh Fratkin said last fall. “The commissioner, I could call her up.”

It was enough to make the people in charge feel comfortable, if not cocky. The first season had been 18 games long and that was scheduled to expand to 21 this year. But the second season hasn’t been quite as smooth, and if the league is going to survive, it will have to learn to reconcile its feel-good story with the cost of doing business.

The NWHL doesn’t have a collective bargaining agreement, but they do have a players association, with representatives from each team who convey information from the league office down to their teammates. Although the NWHLPA has little negotiating leverage without a CBA, they did originally have a director, a lawyer who was supposed to speak for the players before any major decisions were made. But within the first few weeks of this season, the NWHLPA director stepped away, and the position was left vacant.

At first, most of the women were unconcerned. The player reps were still having regular phone calls with Rylan that still felt like two-sided conversations, according to Anya Battaglino of the Connecticut Whale. “Maybe it was just blind, unknowing that we needed that representation. Or just kind of rolling with the punches,” she said.

Then, in late November, the NWHL made headlines—which it now seems to do all too infrequently, and for the wrong reasons—for cutting players’ salaries with no notice. Salaries had never been lavish, or even especially livable: Amanda Kessel, probably the league’s biggest star, had been making $26,000, the top end of a range with a $10,000 league minimum. Early reports were that the cuts would be 50 percent across the board, but a single corporate donation softened the blow to a reported 38 percent.

Before the cuts, the salary cap for each team had been $270,000 and Fratkin’s $19,500 salary was about 7.5 percent of that. But the reduced paychecks are part of an overall restructuring of how players are paid. Rather than being salaried, the women are now contract workers who earn a certain amount for each game. Each team has $5,000 per game that is allocated in the same percentages as the old salary cap. Fratkin, then, makes about 7.5 percent of $5,000, or, $375.72 a game before taxes.

There are also a series of bonuses designed to incentivize the women to drum up fan interest in their games. They earn a collective commission on ticket sales over 500 each game, with the money going directly to the players. It helps, but Fratkin says it can feel a little patronizing. Her parents, who also cover her car insurance, buy tickets to all of her games even if they can’t attend, to show support and help her stay afloat financially. Players also make commission on apparel. Fifteen percent of the proceeds from sales of their t-shirts and jerseys is added to their paychecks.

The players were blindsided by the cuts. Chad Wiseman, the Riveters coach and GM, broke the news at one of their regular pre-practice meetings.

“He was teary-eyed. Girls were crying in the locker room,” Fratkin said. One of her teammates quit immediately—she moved back to Iowa and now attends nursing school—and since then several players around the league have left for more stable careers.

Getty Images/Bruce Bennett

Of those who stuck it out, most of the women in the league work day jobs: teachers, athletic directors, marketing managers. It’s a matter of financial necessity, and it’s testament to their commitment to the game. Riveters captain Ashley “Stretch” Johnston commutes 150 miles each way from her job as a robotics engineer for a firm outside Albany to practice and play with the Riveters at the New Jersey Devils’ practice rink in Newark, NJ. The robotics firm pays Johnston $94,000 a year. After the salary cuts, she makes $260 a game from the NWHL.

Of course, the Riveters play just one game a week in addition to two practices compared to the 50 hours a week she puts in at the robotics firm (not to mention the hours commuting between the two). But outside the Olympics, this is the highest level of women’s hockey in the world, and it’s what Johnston wants to be doing. I asked her if she would give up engineering in favor of hockey if the pay was equal.

“I’d quit if the hockey paid $40,000 a year,” she said.

Day jobs aren’t an option for many international players, however. Playing for in Connecticut last year, Fratkin—a Canadian national—had taught private lessons, coached the Boys & Girls Clubs hockey, and worked at the Greenwich Skating Club for extra money. But her P1 visa, specific to professional athletes, only lets her work cash jobs or jobs related to hockey. In the Jersey suburbs where she lives now, it’s been hard to find side gigs worth the gas money.

Anya Battaglino believes there’s a huge difference between a paycheck and a paycheck large enough to live on.

“When we get to that turning point,” Battaglino said, “I think that that will be the difference maker between labeled as a girl that plays sports and a being a professional athlete.”

The money means legitimacy and respect. It’s the tangible proof that the players have value beyond the satisfaction of sustaining a women’s league. It’s also what separates them from the men of the NHL, alongside whom they played as kids, and whom they watched surpass them in fame and fortune.

“There’s players in the [NHL] whose signing bonus covers the entire salary cap for the Connecticut Whale,” Battaglino lamented. “I mean, their signing bonus! Not even their salary. Just what they signed for would cover our salary. And it’s like, ugh, how did genetics miss me on this one? I’ll tell people I played at B.U. and they’ll be like ‘Oh, do you know Charlie Coyle?’ I’m like, ‘Yeah, but I played there too!’ Nobody says, ‘Hey Charlie, do you know Anya Battaglino?’”

The salary cuts shocked the players into recognition that they needed representation to negotiate with league management. Without a unified voice or organized leverage, the women were left to their own scattershot devices. Some made public demands for greater transparency of the league’s finances.

Those demands never panned out, because the players had no leverage. Players still don’t know the identity of all the investors, and Rylan wouldn’t specify to Deadspin what exactly the league miscalculated in terms of revenue, just that “it was harder to close deals than we had anticipated and harder to sell tickets.”

In early February, Battaglino was named the director of the NWHLPA.

“I was naturally stepping up to do things and communicate things upwards to Dani and found a good, working relationship there,” Battaglino said of her new role.

The announcement accompanied news of another amateurish overhaul at the league level: The season will be shortened to accommodate the 2017 IIHF Women’s World Championship. The original schedule had a gap of several weeks to allow national team members to play for their countries, but players preferred to wrap the NWHL season entirely before turning their attention internationally. So now, March 10 will be the final regular-season game and the playoffs will go down a week later. Rather than the expanded 21-game season the league had planned for its second year, the Riveters and the Whale will play 18 games while the Boston Pride and the Buffalo Beauts will finish with just 17 games.

Still, and even despite the lost revenue of canceled games, the players were ultimately okay with the decision. Battaglino says that although she wasn’t the PA director yet, the conversation surrounding the schedule change felt markedly different than when salaries were slashed. This was, at the very least, a compromise.

“The way that we structured that call, we brought all the players association reps on and we gave our pros and cons list before the decision was made. It wasn’t a call to tell us the news, it was a call to ask us how we felt.”

There are other reasons to be optimistic. For its second All-Star Weekend, the NWHL went outside their usual markets to Pittsburgh, where they found a supportive NHL team and enthusiastic crowds. Hyped by the Penguins’ marketing outreach and hosted in their practice facility, the All-Star Game sold out the 1,000 seat venue and the skills contest sold 783 tickets. “The attendance was crazy, the atmosphere, the overall experience was really cool,” said Fratkin, a two-time All-Star.

Rylan hopes to translate the success of the All-Star weekend into the league’s third year. They’re planning to play a number of “satellite” games in neutral locations like Pittsburgh and D.C. to play in front of new audiences, and they’re working to establish a firmer connection to the NHL.

Rylan said her ideal relationship between the two leagues “has us looking like a sister program to the NHL organization in our markets. And that means co-producing events, player appearances, social media campaigns, really the whole gamut to drive attention not only to our events, but to the NHL events as well. And really showing their commitment to the women’s program from the grassroots level on up.”

She won’t say yet what the pay structure will look like for the NWHL in its third season, which will be played without the members of the U.S. national team in deference to next winter’s Olympics. And as committed as players like Fratkin are to the idea of a women’s hockey league, those sorts of details are crucial to pushing it past the point of community passion project. Fratkin said hasn’t decided yet if she’ll re-up her visa for next year or if it’s time to move on and get a “real job.”

There are also other women’s leagues. Fratkin played for a year in the Canadian Women’s Hockey League, which doesn’t pay but did cover 20 percent of the cost of her master’s degree, and after the NWHL’s salary cuts the Connecticut Whale’s captain, Molly Engstrom, left for a Swedish league that offers various expense reimbursements in lieu of a paycheck.

It’s the Catch-22 of women’s sports: How serious will the game ever get if it can’t retain a 24-year-old two-time All Star? And how can it afford to do so when no one takes it all that seriously?

“What the quality of hockey will be next year, I don’t really know,” Fratkin said. “You might get players that have full-time jobs and hockey is just kind of a secondary thing to them, where they can’t commit to it full time. So they just show up practice twice a week and they show up to games. You might lose some of those players that are here treating hockey like a full-time job where they’re putting in all these extra hours training and skating every single day.

“But in terms of the league surviving, I don’t think that’s going to be an issue at all.”