#(maybe both at different points in their life?)

[woso-dreamzzz]

Helper:Christmas

Arsenal Women x Child!Reader

Summary: Christmas with Guppy

"I...I don't understand. What's...What's going on?"

"Just keeping holding it up," Codi whispers to Rosa, who looks like she's about to lower the tinsel that she's holding up.

"I don't get it. What's going on?"

"We're decorating the tree."

"No, I get that. But why are we holding it up in a line?"

On her other side, Leah huffs. "Because Lia's raising a kid who doesn't like mess and gets freaked out by Christmas trees. Ow! Lia!"

Lia's elbow, none too kindly, digs a bit further into Leah's ribs.

"Don't make fun of her!" She snaps, imaginary hackles raised in annoyance at Leah's dismissal before turning to Rosa to explain, much more kindly. "Guppy...She gets a bit overwhelmed about this kind of stuff and these cretins like to go overboard until the tree's a big mess. So, Guppy gets to pick the theme and then we all decorate. Leah's exaggerating."

"I'm just saying! Maybe exposure therapy will be good for her! I love her, Lia, I do. You know that. But you have to admit, this-"

Lia whips her beads at Leah in annoyance.

"Alrigh! Alright! I get it! Sorry!"

Lia's not finished though as she points to practically everyone in line in turn. "None of you are allowed to talk about that kind of stuff while y/n's in the room too, do you understand? She's sensitive and I'm not letting any of you make it worse!"

"I think they get it," Mario intervenes quickly," No one wants to make her feel bad."

Rosa's kind of glad that Mariona did. She's never seen Lia angry before. Annoyed, yes. Overtired, yes. But never angry. Not truly anyway but she's heard how protective Lia gets over you.

You're not really an oddball. You're not overwhelmingly weird either. But something that Rosa's noted is that you're very particular. She's never met a child so particular in her life. You like things done in a certain way.

You get all fidgety and anxious if you're not allowed to do things in the way you want and tend to start things over if it hasn't gone perfectly. You flick the lights on and off twice in whatever room you leave and you always knock on doors twice.

Rosa's seen you on the team bus, getting Lia to buckle and unbuckle your seatbelt twice over just before the bus sets off to whatever away match they need to get to.

You're just...

Different.

It's clear that Lia knows that too and a lot of her energy is put into making sure no one makes you think that you don't fit in.

"Alright!" Kim comes in holding your hand and from what Rosa strains to hear from Mario and Lia's conversation, this is normal too.

Kim helps you pick out the theme.

You both whisper together, Kim clearly going along with your childish wonder and happiness. She crouches down at your side as you look between Rosa and Kyra's tinsel.

Rosa's holding a red one and Kyra's holding a gold one.

Kyra wiggles it enticingly in your face but your features all scrunch up at once as you move away from Kim to take Rosa's hand and then to choose Codi and her matching green tinsel as well.

"Alright," Kim says," And what about baubles?"

"Er..." You look at the rest of the team and all the baubles they hold up to you, suddenly overwhelmed with choices.

You look at Leah's glittery baubles and shake your head.

"Not-Not glitter ones."

Then you catch sight of Lia and Mario, immediately breaking away from Kim to go crashing into them.

"Mummy!" You gasp," You bought the special beads from home!"

Wound around what looks to be an old piece of cardboard, is a long string of silver beads.

"I did," Lia says," Because our tree is too little for them this year. I thought we could use them on the Arsenal tree."

You nod, head bobbing up and down happily before you also take Mario's hand, dragging her into your little group of chosen people without even looking at the bauble in her hands.

"Nah!" Leah complains," This is so unfair! Why can't I be chosen?"

"Because you clearly didn't choose a good bauble this year," Beth teases," Not like me."

"Not Beth's bauble either," You say to Kim.

"Wait...What? Come on, come back!"

Decorating the tree is a team effort because while you may have been the one to make your selection, you're much too small to decorate it all by yourself and Rosa's found herself with you on her shoulders as you strain to put a candy cane onto the tree.

"Careful," Lia warns her," Keep straight or she'll fall."

"Rosa's doing fine," Steph says," And it's not like Guppy is going to start throwing herself around. She's very responsible."

"I am, Mummy!" You say," Very responsible! I helped Mrs Gina find the missing gluestick lid yesterday!"

So, Lia ends up worrying from a distance and insists on being the one to lift you up so you can put the star on the tree before letting you down and leading you from the room without any more preamble.

"What's happening now?" Rosa whispers as it looks like everyone starts sitting down on the floor in a little circle that she has no option but to join.

"Lia's been doing this since Guppy was born," Caitlin explains," We're getting presents now. It was pretty cute the first time, little gifts in baby y/n's hands. It was her handprint the year she was born and then it was like little keychains? She's old enough to give them out by herself now."

The present Rosa gets is kind of soft and squishy and it doesn't rattle or anything when she holds it up to her ear and shakes.

"No opening until Christmas!" You say once everything's been given out and everyone's attention is on you," Because that ruins the surprise! You can only open them on Christmas!"

The little Arsenal teddy bear you got her sits on Rosa's desk for the rest of the season.

[fear-less]

₊˚⊹˚ 𐙚 you still would've been mine

pairing: james potter x f!reader

➥ In which, you and james get closer to each other as the days go on, remus, your ex, soon realizes and feels jealous even though he knows he has no right to. 

warnings: james is end game, drama, jelly remus, fluff, angst, lowkey a cliffhanger..

1.8k words

The following weeks felt like a dream you didn’t quite dare to trust. You and James had grown closer—so much closer. His presence became a constant in your life, his easy laughter and steady warmth like a balm for your soul. He didn’t push, didn’t demand anything of you, but the way he looked at you sometimes, like you were the only person in the room, made your heart flutter in ways you hadn’t felt in what seemed like forever.

It was during one such moment in the library, late at night, that you caught him staring at you again. You were seated across from him, your textbooks spread out between you as you tried—and failed—to focus on your Potions assignment. James was supposed to be working on his Transfiguration essay, but his quill rested idly in his hand, his gaze firmly on you.

“What?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him, though a small smile tugged at your lips.

James grinned, leaning back in his chair. “Nothing. Just... you look different lately.”

You blinked, caught off guard. “Different how?”

He shrugged, his grin softening into something more genuine. “Happier. Like the weight of the world’s not sitting on your shoulders anymore.”

Your heart tightened at his words, but not in a bad way. It was strange to think that he could see through you so clearly. “I guess I am,” you admitted quietly, your fingers fiddling with the edge of your parchment. “Thanks to you, mostly.”

James’s expression flickered with something unreadable, and for a moment, you thought he might say something. But instead, he gave you one of his trademark grins and reached for his quill. “Well, I’m glad to be of service. Now, focus on that essay before McGonagall roasts you alive.” 

You laughed, the sound light and easy, and for once, you let yourself enjoy the moment without overthinking it.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ;.

But not everyone seemed as happy about your newfound closeness with James.

It started with the glances—subtle, fleeting, but noticeable all the same. Every time you and James walked into the Great Hall together or laughed a little too loudly in the common room, you could feel a pair of familiar amber eyes watching. Remus had always been quiet, his emotions carefully controlled, but lately, there was a tension in the way he held himself whenever you were near. It was as though he was constantly on the verge of saying something but never quite managing to.

The tipping point came one evening in the common room. You and James had just finished a heated game of Wizard’s Chess, and James was laughing at your feigned indignation over your loss. His hand brushed yours as he reached for one of the chess pieces, and though it was an innocent gesture, the spark it sent through you was anything but.

“You’re insufferable,” you said, trying to sound annoyed but failing miserably as you bit back a smile.

James leaned back in his chair, his grin as cocky as ever. “What can I say? I’m a man of many talents.”

Before you could retort, a voice cut through the cheerful atmosphere.

“You’re awfully confident these days, Potter.”

Both you and James turned to see Remus standing near the fireplace, his arms crossed and his expression unreadable. His gaze flicked between the two of you, lingering on your still-close hands before settling on James with something that almost looked like a challenge.

James raised an eyebrow, his easy demeanor shifting slightly. “Just enjoying a game of chess, mate. Didn’t realize that was a crime.”

Remus’s lips pressed into a thin line. “Of course not. But maybe you should consider how things look to others.”

The air grew tense, and you felt your stomach twist uncomfortably. “Remus,” you began softly, but he didn’t let you finish.

“It’s just… surprising, that’s all,” he said, his tone carefully neutral but his eyes betraying a hint of something darker. “How quickly some people move on.”

The words hit you like a slap, and for a moment, you couldn’t breathe. James, however, was on his feet in an instant, his usual playfulness replaced by a steely resolve.

“That’s enough, Remus,” he said, his voice low but firm. “You don’t get to make her feel guilty for trying to be happy.”

Remus’s jaw tightened, and for a moment, it looked like he might argue. But then his shoulders slumped, and he turned away without another word, disappearing up the staircase to the boys’ dormitory.

James let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair before turning back to you. “Are you okay?”

You nodded slowly, though your chest felt heavy. “Yeah. I just... I didn’t think he’d react like that.”

James hesitated before sitting down beside you again, his hand hovering near yours but not quite touching. “He’s probably just... dealing with his own stuff. Doesn’t excuse what he said, though.”

You nodded, appreciating his attempt to be understanding even as your emotions churned inside you. The confrontation with Remus had stirred up feelings you thought you’d buried, but as James’s steady presence grounded you once again, you realized something important: the past might still linger, but it didn’t have to define your future.

“Thanks, James,” you said quietly, offering him a small smile. “For sticking up for me.”

He returned your smile, his eyes soft. “Always, Y/N. Always.”

And though the tension in the room hadn’t completely faded, you felt a warmth settle in your chest that hadn’t been there before. It wasn’t love—not yet—but it was something. Something real and unshakable, and for the first time in a long while, you let yourself hope that it might be enough.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

The weeks following James’ quiet but constant presence had been transformative. While you were still piecing together the fragments of your heart, James had become your steady companion, grounding you in ways you hadn’t expected. His easy laughter and unwavering loyalty were a balm to the wounds you’d once thought irreparable. And though you hadn’t acknowledged it out loud, something deeper was growing between you.

On a crisp autumn evening, James found you in the library, hunched over a pile of books. He grinned as he approached, a strand of his messy hair falling over his forehead.

“You know, if you keep frowning at those pages, they might just frown back,” he teased, sliding into the seat across from you.

You couldn’t help but smile, closing the book in front of you with a sigh. “Studying for Potions is basically begging for a headache. Slughorn’s quizzes are impossible.”

James leaned forward, propping his chin on his hand. “Lucky for you, I’m a master at Potions.”

“You’re a master at barely scraping by,” you shot back, smirking.

“Details, details,” he said with a wave of his hand. “Come on, let’s take a break. I know a place where we can actually breathe.”

Curious but wary, you allowed him to lead you out of the library and through the winding corridors of the castle. Eventually, you found yourselves at the Astronomy Tower. The view of the grounds stretched out beneath you, bathed in the golden light of the setting sun.

“Wow,” you whispered, stepping closer to the edge. “I don’t come up here enough.”

James stood beside you, his hands in his pockets as he gazed out over the horizon. “It’s one of my favorite spots,” he admitted. “Quiet. Peaceful. And the stars at night? Incredible.”

You glanced at him, your heart fluttering at the way the light caught his features. “Thanks for bringing me here,” you said softly.

James shrugged, his usual playful demeanor replaced by something more serious. “You looked like you needed it.”

The two of you stood in companionable silence for a while, the breeze tugging at your hair. But the quiet wasn’t uncomfortable—it was easy, natural. And as the sun dipped lower, painting the sky in hues of pink and orange, you found yourself glancing at James again, your chest tightening with unspoken feelings.

“James,” you began, your voice hesitant. “Can I ask you something?”

He turned to you, his warm brown eyes meeting yours. “Anything.”

You hesitated, searching for the right words. “Why have you… why have you stuck around? With me, I mean. After everything with Remus.”

James’ expression softened, and he stepped closer, his hands still tucked in his pockets. “Because I care about you,” he said simply. “And because I want to be here. With you.”

Your breath caught, his words settling over you like a warm blanket. “You… you’ve been so good to me, James. I don’t know if I deserve it.”

He frowned, shaking his head. “Don’t say that. You deserve someone who sees you for who you are—all of you. And I… I think I’ve been falling for you for a while now.”

His confession hung in the air, a fragile, beautiful truth that made your heart race. You stared at him, your emotions a whirlwind of surprise, relief, and something you hadn’t dared to name until now.

“James,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “I… I think I feel the same way.”

A slow, radiant smile spread across his face, and he reached out to take your hand in his. The warmth of his touch sent a shiver down your spine, and for the first time in months, you felt completely and utterly safe.

“Well,” he said softly, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “That’s good to hear.”

The two of you stood there, hand in hand, as the sun disappeared below the horizon and the stars began to emerge. There were no grand declarations, no dramatic gestures—just the quiet, profound realization that something new and beautiful was beginning.

As the soft glow of the moonlight bathed the tower, James stepped closer, his gaze flicking briefly to your lips before returning to your eyes. “Can I—?” he began, his voice barely above a whisper.

You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest. “Please.”

And then his lips were on yours, warm and gentle, as though he was afraid to break the moment. Your hands found their way to his shoulders, steadying yourself as the world seemed to tilt. The kiss was everything you hadn’t known you needed—soft, tender, and filled with unspoken promises. When you finally pulled back, your foreheads pressed together, both of you breathing heavily.

James smiled, his hand coming up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” he admitted, his voice tinged with a mix of nervousness and joy.

You laughed softly, your cheeks warm. “I’m glad you did.”

The stars above seemed to shine a little brighter as the two of you stood there, wrapped in each other’s warmth, ready to face whatever came next—together.

[verstappenf1lecccc]

AM!Fernando Alonso x wife reader. While all the drivers have their annual dj nee together, they have their own diner with the Strolls. Just what I know since him and Lance are not there. Maybe they had kid(s) (you decide) And Lance being their fav uncle. Spending time, banter, sweet. Anything. Thanks!! :))

I’m sorry this is out rather late!! I’m on vacay so hehe

A Night with the Strolls

The annual driver’s DJ night was in full swing, but Fernando had decided to take a different route this year. Instead of joining the usual crowd for the glitzy and glamorous event, he and his wife had a more intimate plan—dinner with the Stroll family. Lance, being a close friend and mentor to Fernando, was like family, and his wife had grown just as fond of him over the years. The kids, their two young children—Mateo, 6, and Isabella, 4—were more than excited to be spending the evening with Uncle Lance.

The evening was filled with laughter and playful banter as the children chased Lance around the house, calling him their personal jungle gym. Lance, with his larger-than-life personality, was their favorite playmate. His laughter was contagious, and they clung to him as though he was the most important person in their world.

“I think I’ve earned the title of ‘Best Uncle’ tonight,” Lance said with a grin, lifting Mateo into the air and giving him an exaggerated spin.

Fernando, watching from the couch with his wife beside him, couldn’t help but smile. “They’ll want you to take them on a road trip next, you know,” he teased, a proud glint in his eyes as his son clung to Lance’s neck.

“Why not? I’ll just kidnap them and take them away for a few days. They’ll love it,” Lance joked, raising both kids high and making airplane sounds.

Fernando’s wife, sitting quietly next to him, couldn’t help but feel a sense of peace as she watched the scene unfold. The laughter of their children, the light-hearted teasing between Lance and Fernando, and the warmth of the Strolls’ family felt like a dream. She had never imagined a life like this. Coming from a broken home, where love had often felt uncertain and fleeting, she never thought she would find herself in the kind of family that Fernando had created. But here she was, surrounded by the kind of warmth and stability she had always longed for.

She turned to Fernando, her heart full. “Look at them,” she said softly, her voice filled with quiet admiration. “They’re so happy. I never thought I would find a family like this.”

Fernando smiled, his gaze never leaving her as he leaned closer. “You gave me everything I never knew I needed. I’m the lucky one.”

As the evening progressed, they shared moments of quiet connection. The kids ran around, laughing and playing, while Fernando and his wife enjoyed the peace and comfort of each other’s company. At one point, Fernando leaned in closer to his wife, his hand finding hers on the table. Their fingers intertwined naturally, as though they had always belonged there.

“Do you ever think about how we ended up here?” Fernando asked, his voice low, almost as if speaking to himself.

She looked at him, a soft smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “I think about it all the time,” she replied. “I never imagined I could be this happy, this… whole. When I was younger, love always seemed so fleeting, like something that couldn’t last. But now, with you, it’s different. I feel safe. I feel like I’ve found my home.”

Fernando’s gaze softened as he took a breath, pulling her hand closer to his lips. He kissed the back of her hand, a gesture of love so simple yet so profound. “I was lost, you know. In all the glitz and glamor of racing, the fame, the attention… none of it felt real. None of it meant anything until I found you. You made me feel like I finally had a place, a purpose. When I met you, I finally felt like I was home.”

Her heart melted at his words. She had always known he was a passionate and driven man, but hearing him speak so vulnerably touched her in a way that no victory on the racetrack ever could. “You are my home too, Fernando,” she whispered. “You and our children. There’s nowhere else I would rather be.”

The connection between them was palpable, a silent understanding that, despite the world around them, this was their safe space, their place of love and trust. He leaned in then, brushing his lips gently against hers in a kiss that felt like a promise. Soft, tender, yet full of all the love he held for her.

They pulled away, but Fernando’s hand lingered on her cheek, his thumb tracing the curve of her jawline. “You are everything to me,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “More than I could ever ask for. I will always choose you. Always.”

Her eyes shimmered with love as she gazed at him, feeling the depth of his devotion in every word. “And I will always choose you,” she said, her voice steady but full of affection. “You are the best thing that ever happened to me, Fernando.”

As the evening wore on, the kids grew tired, and Lance’s playful energy began to wind down. They all gathered around the table, enjoying a quiet meal together. Mateo had managed to convince Lance to tell them a new story, a tale of knights and dragons, and even Isabella, usually quiet during dinner, listened with wide-eyed wonder.

Fernando’s wife watched them, taking in the sight of the Stroll family. Lance, ever the jokester, had always been there for Fernando, and it was clear to her how much Lance admired his friend, not just as a teammate, but as a role model, a father figure.

Fernando had often told her that he had always been close to Lance, but she hadn’t realized just how deep their bond ran. Lance saw Fernando as more than just a colleague. He saw him as a mentor, a guide, someone who had been like a brother to him. When they were younger, Lance had looked up to Fernando—admired his success, his drive, and his unwavering loyalty to those he loved. Over time, that admiration had blossomed into a deep friendship, and now, it was clear that Lance adored Fernando like a father.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, man,” Lance had said more than once. “You’ve taught me more than just racing—you’ve taught me what it means to be a man of integrity, to be a good person.”

Fernando had always brushed it off with a laugh, but deep down, he knew how much Lance’s words meant. He had always tried to be a good role model, not just for his kids, but for the people in his life. And seeing Lance with his children—how the kids gravitated toward him, how he genuinely loved them like they were his own—touched him more than he could ever express.

Later, when the kids had been tucked into bed, and the house was quiet, Fernando and his wife took a moment to sit outside on the patio. The stars above them seemed to twinkle in the soft night sky, and a light breeze stirred the air. Fernando pulled her into his arms, wrapping his jacket around her as she nestled closer.

“You know,” he began, his voice soft and full of love, “I’d like to have another child. A third one. What do you think?”

Her gaze met his, and she felt a mix of love and uncertainty. “I would love that, Fernando, but I’m not sure I can go through it all again. After… everything we’ve been through. I’m scared.”

Fernando’s expression softened as he kissed the top of her head, his arms tightening around her in a protective embrace. “You don’t have to be scared. Whatever we decide, I’m here with you. And no matter how many children we have, we’ll have everything we need because we have each other. I’m not going anywhere.”

Her heart swelled at his words. She had always known Fernando was a strong man—on the track, in the spotlight, and in their home—but it was moments like this, when his vulnerability shone through, that made her love him even more.

“I love you so much, Fernando,” she whispered, her voice filled with emotion. “You make me feel safe. You make me feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.”

His lips brushed against her forehead, a soft kiss that spoke of love, of promises made, and of the beautiful life they had created together. “And I will always love you, mi amor. You are my everything.”

As the night continued, Fernando and his wife held each other close, their hearts full of love, their bond stronger than ever. In that moment, surrounded by the warmth of their family and the quiet of the night, they both knew that no matter what the future held, as long as they had each other, they were home.

[specialgradefckr]

tw: explicit content. satoru/reader. dark dark DARK, bad end au, sorcerer breeding programs, consent is not a thing for sorcerers, all sorts of bad shit.

ultra dark dystopian au where the public knows what cursed spirits are and jujutsu society isn't controlled by the higher ups.

it's controlled by the government.

sorcerers are national assets. tools, property, born and raised to be weapons against cursed spirits.

they're taken from their mothers at birth. indoctrinated and trained in facilities until they're old enough to be sent out to kill curses. they start somewhere around 13. most of them don't reach adulthood.

with attrition rates so high, where are they getting all this fodder?

special grades like satoru gojo don't spend most of their time out in the field.

as soon as he was of age he's sent to a suitable mate. breeding stock like him should create more sorcerers.

for what? to be killed?

the questions come to his mind every now and then, but he knows they're useless. he doesn't think much about why things are the way they are.

he's a weapon. he's been a weapon his entire life. this is what he's good at. what he's meant for.

however he feels about his life, satoru gojo was born and bred for sorcery, in every universe. he loves it. what do the details matter?

things aren't so different for satoru in this au. he wakes up, kills curses, creates new sorcerers, gets maybe 3 hours of sleep and does it again.

he doesn't get to pick who or when he's bred with. he's a stud. his partners are broodmares. sorcerers who managed to survive the meat grinder of exorcism.

when satoru gojo meets you, he doesn't know you. doesn't even know your name.

he doesn't need that to get you pregnant. he's sent to a room, locked in there with you, crystal-clear instructions on what you're meant to do.

it isn't his first time doing this. it's not your first time either, he's sure.

it's not romantic. it's not even sexy. it's quiet, practical, and methodical -

but oh. oh, does it feel good.

he doesn't know if it's just your body, or if this is something you actively do but it feels like you're clenching around him, like your cunt is embracing him and refusing to let go.

you're touchy, too. touching his face, his hair, his body. satoru is used to roving eyes (he's instructed never to say no; after all, what if a woman who fucked him bore a sorcerer child?) and hands.

but your hands aren't greedy. they're tender. gentle caresses like the sigh you make when he buries himself to the hilt inside you.

he nearly jerks at the feeling of your lips on his neck. kisses littered up to the underside of his jaw, featherlight fleeting. ghostly, even.

when he's rutting into you, quick, efficient motions to get him closer to the edge, you meet his ice-blue gaze and press your lips to his -

it's the first time he's been kissed on the lips.

he remembers your eyes watering the first time he penetrated you. next time, he makes a point to whet his fingertips, rub over your clit, kiss your breasts, your neck, until you're dripping over him.

he doesn't know why. it's unnecessary effort. all he has to do is release inside you.

but he supposes if you're both stuck here for a while, it might as well be... nice.

and it is nice. this time he feels one of your hands grasp his, a strange feeling churning in his gut as you guide his hand to your clit.

with just a few careful swipes, timed to the rhythm of your hips bucking into him, the sonnet of your little gasps and moans, he watches you start to shiver and quake.

you clench around him and something inside him lights up, tugging, bright and hot and bursting along with his climax.

it's never been like this before, never been this good. you squeeze around him like you're milking him, panting with your mouth slack and opened wide, eyes glossy and dilated.

irrationally, he leans in to cover your mouth with his, lap at your tongue, steal away your desperate breaths and feel you moan and squirm beneath him.

when he moves to pull out, your arms dart around him, holding him close. like you don't want him to leave.

and even though it's never been like this, even though he's never tried this hard or liked it this much, satoru still thinks this is the strangest part.

laying there, bodies entwined, chests rising and falling as you fall asleep against one another.

it's warm. it's hot and sweaty and full of the stench of sex and bodily fluids, and it should be disgusting, but it's not.

maybe he's just too tired to care. when his six eyes finally close, the darkness that embraces him is warm, enticing, and absolute.

he can only just make out your heartbeat within it.

there's a few days of that, until your fertile period is over and you part, without words.

in fact he can't recall if he even spoke to you. you might not even know his name, though he's rather infamous, and with his hair and eyes he's hard to mistake.

satoru thinks about you sometimes. in the dead quiet of the night when his brain refuses to stop churning. in the midst of battle.

in the beds of the others he's meant to breed, cooling bodies laying against him as he brings himself to climax inside them and then pulls away.

it doesn't even feel that good anymore. not now that he'd had it with you.

sometimes he wishes he'd never had you. most times, he wants you there with him.

none of it matters. he knows that. he kills curses, he mates with fellow sorcerers. they're walking wombs, and he's a sperm donor. an impersonal exchange.

the worst is when he's summoned to fight a curse that seems just a little too low grade for him.

usually because the sorcerers originally dispatched failed.

in jujutsu sorcery, failure is death.

but high-level sorcerers like him aren't usually dispatched against lower level curses. it's almost invariably weaker sorcerers - younger ones.

it takes him an instant to exorcise it. seconds, really.

how many people died trying to do what was second nature to him?

how many of them were children?

it's his fault, in the end. for not being able to be everywhere at once. having to breed more to replace the sorcerers that wouldn't have been lost if he didn't have to spend so much time breeding.

the system churns through sorcerers like a meat grinder. anyone who comes out alive is squeezed for raw material, to make more of them.

an unending marathon. all that's waiting for them on the other side is death, death or being reduced to breeding stock.

he wonders what happens to female sorcerers who can't be bred anymore. are they just worked until they die?

do they ever get to see their children?

it's been years. if he'd gotten you pregnant then his children might be old enough to be sent out by now. if he has any children.

at the rate they've been having him fuck, he must have at least a few.

where are they? where are you? useless questions.

there's only been one fellow sorcerer he was able to keep track of throughout the years, and he...

well. he won't be seeing him again.

but he does see you again. years later.

do you remember him? he remembers you. how many others have you been bred with? was there a dark, long-haired sorcerer among them?

someone with sharp violet eyes and a warm smile and large hands? did you have any children by him?

is there anything left of his friend in this world?

the questions bubble in his chest, staining the back of his throat like bile.

if he asked, he's sure you would answer. you smile when you see him.

but instead he buries himself inside you, in your arms, your tight embrace. this is the only time he gets to feel good.

is this the only time you get to feel good, too? during this week of your fertile window, when they send you in to anonymous sorcerers to get fucked pregnant?

breeding stock, he remembers. what will be done with you when you can no longer bear children? what do you have to look forward to?

satoru wants to ask. did you have any children by him? did any of them survive?

but instead he buries himself in you to the hilt. until you keen and stretch underneath him.

even if he did ask, you wouldn't know.

you hold him too tightly for a brood mare, for an encounter that will only last as long as your fertile window.

do you yearn for these moments, too? do you miss him, do you want to see him again?

did you bear his children? did you want to show them to him when they were born? did you want him there?

did you - you're looking up at him hopefully, arms that hold him close, it's time to leave now and your eyes are wet and empty and your shoulders drop as you lay back on the bed limply -

geto was right.

[superbatsbison]

thinking of poly superbat x male reader

you and bruce are an established couple

ofc he eventually reveals the fact that he's batman to you

it gets to a point. especially since you're living together

afterward, you become more involved in both bruce and batman's life

because of this, occasionally, you run into some of the other members of the justice league

mainly clark

sorry, i mean superman

he's always hanging around the manor

going over cases with bruce

sometimes coming back with him after particularly grueling missions

and who are you to turn away a handsome face?

who said that 👀

at first clark is surprised that bruce has such a kind boyfriend

or any boyfriend at all really

he didn't peg bruce as being emotionally available. or into men....

ANYWAY

he obviously doesn't need help patching up like bruce does

but often times his mind wanders...

thinking about what he could do differently

What would happen if things went wrong.

soon, he finds himself zoning out in the batcave

and- oh? you're sitting by him

your soft gaze and strong hand rubbing his back helps to calm his racing thoughts

he finds it easy opening up to you

you sit and listen to his worries. giving your input when you think he's running circles in his mind

meanwhile, bruce is across the cave watching you two

he adores you for your big heart and caring nature

watching you comfort his closest friend makes him feel warm inside

he also can't help the passing thought that you two look good side by side

wait what....

maybe he should call it a night

but the pattern continues

you and bruce continue to grow closer to clark

often making him a topic of your conversation

and poor clark

clark feels terrible for the feelings he's developing for you both

i mean you're a couple for god's sake!

a very kind....generous....attractive couple....

is he a bad friend?

meanwhile, in gotham, you're asking yourself if you're a bad boyfriend

you feel like the worst partner ever

you love bruce so much

and yet you've been thinking about clark almost just as often

oh, what would bruce think if he knew.

pan to bruce, who's already clocked onto what's going on LMFAO

i mean, he's not the world's greatest detective for nothing

clearly, he can see clark and his boyfriend are developing something

and he should be angry. right?

hurt at the least?

but all he can manage to feel is endeared

he thinks about clark joining your relationship

treating clark the way he treats you

clark... treating you the way, bruce... treats you

oh my god he's bricked

flash forward to you two laying in bed together

😏

in the silence of the peaceful moment, him blurting out, "honey I think we have feelings for clark"

you shooting upright off his chest

after the initial panic fades you both finally talk it out

speaking of talking it out, poor clark is left to relay his miseries to lois

when he gets done describing all the events of the past couple of months, she starts to laugh

clark: what? 🥺

lois: they're totally trying to say they like your vibe

this gives him hope that he's not making things up

soon you three are back in the cave

except the energy tonight isn't solemn like usual

it's charged

you and clark are in your usual spots side by side

bruce in his chair with his mask and gloves off

eventually, your conversation with clark fades, and you're left looking into each other's eyes

you both lean in for a kiss

after a few moments, clark remembers himself and pulls away to look at bruce

his eyes are wide as he expects bruce to unleash his wrath

but instead, he simply stands and walks over to the pair of you

he sits behind you with a hand around your waist

his thumb rubbing up and down on your stomach

he reaches the other out and puts it on the back of clark's neck

using his leverage, he pulls clark into a kiss

they're both so much taller than you

they're practically kissing over your head

not that you're complaining

it's the perfect angle to plant your own little kisses underneath their jaws

there in your own little cuddle pile, you all confess to each other

clark is over the moon to have the affection of you both

he quickly finds a home in your dynamic

now, instead of having weekly post mission meet-ups in the cave, you all decompress in bruce's comically large bed

[best-seungkwality]

love to hate you

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: freshman mishaps led to the relationship you had with ellie today, but you don't know the other feelings she harbored for you.

contains/warnings: swearing, flirting, ooc fluff for ellie maybe? (but she was also so sweet in some scenes so cmon), enemies to lovers, college!au

word count: 2.7k

author's yap notes: i haven't actually immersed myself in tlou universe but like ellie's kinda cute or sumn and it takes a lot to inspire me into writing so im gna take advantage of this LMAO also i know abby n ellie r enemies but this is an au pls dont shoot me

would like to give credits for the dividers ofcc: c saradika, magnusthemes here in tumblr!

the sound of clicking against keyboards rang across the hall where your economics class was being held that early in the morning. honestly, it should've been banned to take such a complicated subject at an ungodly hour, and you haven't even began with the professor you got for this class. the only thing nice you got from this experience was being friends with someone as reliable as abby anderson.

"class dismissed."

abby was not the friendliest out there at first glance-- heck, you would've steered clear of her your whole college life if she didn't approach you first to make friends since she was in a different class from all her friends. you were just thankful you had someone to suffer through the class with at this point because you would not have survived otherwise.

if you were anything in college, you were the fastest campus leaver. but this was economics, a class where you actually had a friend to hang out with after enduring the lecture. only, you weren't feeling the extroverted introvert you were today, so you were already racking up your brain for some excuse to abby to go straight to your dorms while you two were on your way out.

"hey, n/n, raincheck on lunch today. need to meet up with someone for another project," abby told you, slinging her backpack on while messaging someone on her phone.

she truly was an angel in disguise. she made the excuse for you even without knowing you needed it.

"oh, no problem. was thinking of staying in in the dorm anywa-"

"abby, hey."

you looked over your taller friend's shoulders and saw the infamous ellie williams sauntering towards you two with her usual slightly grumpy expression. you clicked your tongue in annoyance, seeing the one person you hoped you wouldn't bump into at least this week. it was hell week in your department already, and you thought the fates had spared you because it was already friday, but you guessed they were saving their worst surprise for last.

"ah great," you mumbled under your breath, but abby still managed to catch it. she chuckled at the switch of expressions on both her friends' faces once they had seen each other and took a step back for their usual greeting-- or square off.

"what are you doing hogging abby again, princess pansy?" ellie stuck out her tongue, pocketing her hands.

you narrowed your eyes at her and attempted to slap her shoulder, but she was quick on her feet and moved away seconds before you could even land a finger on her hair. like a child, she repeated her earlier gesture, making abby step in front of you to block you. with your hands balled like that, she was sure you were about to commit a violation just to get even with ellie’s taunts. abby was well aware of your goals of graduating with latin honors, and there was no way she was going to let you waste that on a sick punch on ellie, no matter how much she wanted to see it.

you huffed and turned to look at abby instead, pretending that there was no ellie williams trying to annoy the hell out of you. “i seriously don’t know how you’re still friends with that loser.”

“you’re the loser!”

abby playfully pushed ellie aside for a moment before replying, “she’s rough around the edges, but she’s nice, trust me.”

a scoff left your mouth before you shook your head and muttered your goodbyes to your friend before walking away, ignoring ellie’s last words like a new agnostic to jesus.

you actually thought ellie was truly nice when you first laid your eyes on her until she proved that that stopped at her features (yes, you weren’t going to lie and say she didn’t look good— she was hot, for goodness’ sake). she had become your sworn enemy one day when you were partnered up randomly for a pairwork in one of your common general education subjects. you had tried your best to include her in the project and get her to help, but you would only see on her facebook stories that she was either clubbing, drinking, or doing other shit college students did. you had a social life too, but you would never inconvenience anyone for it unlike her.

that was why you thought it would be best to save all the receipts you had on her, deliver the report on your own, and submit the written work with the proof that you indeed tried your best to get ellie’s cooperation until you had the right to give up on her. the professor accepted your reason and didn’t dock off points on the rapport criterion, but ellie had other qualms. she had the audacity to object to what you had done, claiming you didn’t try enough, but your proof were too solid versus her claims, so ellie had failed that requirement and needed to take removals.

she confronted you about, and you two ended up bickering at the back of one of the oldest buildings in university so that neither of you would be documented. but even when the fight was kept hidden, it eventually became known in school because ellie had decided to humiliate you one lunch, telling people about how you threw her under the bus. being unable to deal with the public humiliation, you ran out of there and swore ellie williams was nothing to you, no matter how hot of a person she was. she was an asshole to you forever, end of story.

you entered your shared room with a scowl on your face, bringing out your laptop and opening up a streaming site to watch modern family. you deserved to cool off with your comfort sitcom before delving into the pile of homework you had to do for the day.

ellie typed furiously on her laptop, mind still fresh from her encounter with you yesterday. it annoyed her so much that she couldn’t even cram her lab report with abby in peace, and the deadline was in two hours! god, if she could just get in your face and-

she froze. she knew exactly where that thought was already headed before it even finished. she groaned out loud, even more annoyed this time, which caught her friend’s attention. abby raised an eyebrow, but she simply let out a ‘tch�� and tried to continue filling in the tables with values she knew were going to yield an extraordinary error. she just couldn’t get you out of her mind even if she wanted to— even if you loathed you. there was something about you and your little interactions that excited the hell out of her that she felt she even loved to hate you because of it.

she wanted to punch herself. that was gradeschool ellie discovering she liked women. why can she not get a grip now?

“i don’t know how you put up with miss uptight two days a week. i can’t even stand her for a minute,” ellie began, eyebrows furrowing, but she wasn’t sure whether the frustration was towards her missing the deadline or the girl that would not leave her head.

“still thinking about her, i see,” abby teased, humming a romantic tone right after. “just admit you’re down bad and would like her on your bed, el.”

her head shot up, face obviously distressed at what she just heard. “gross! grow up, abby.”

abby rolled her eyes and looked up from her screen. “you grow up. you obviously have feelings for her. you can fool anyone but me. you like y/n.”

ellie felt that she was getting too red, so she shut herself up first before she could say something that abby would obviously know how to retort at. it was like she was an open damn book whenever this certain friend of hers was around. maybe it had to do with the fact that they went through shit first before becoming people they feel could be relied on. that, or ellie was really just that easy to read.

“what even happened that y/n hates your guts that much?”

she stopped typing and slumped down in her seat. “i messed up little miss perfect’s sched then humiliated her for it.” she sighed at abby’s raised eyebrow. “i promised to help with one project we were partnered up for, but i was a stupid freshman who just wanted to have fun, so she ended up adjusting her whole month to do everything by herself. i hated how she ratted me out because i thought that was so uncool in college, so i humiliated her in a college cafeteria. are you satisfied?”

her friend shrugged her shoulders. “nah. i haven’t heard the part where you said you were sorry. and why you still hate her.”

ellie pulled the hood of her jacket up and then on the strings to squish the clothing over her face, hiding in embarrassment. “i act like i hate her. it’s the only way i can talk to her now. i haven’t really said sorry too.”

abby laughed, making her jaw drop slightly in offense.

“she was right. you’re such a loser.”

speaking of who was right, ellie, from the corner of her eyes, saw you dragging yourself into the same library they were in. (she hated how automatic it was for her at this point to catch her silhouette). apparently, her college’s library was your favorite library, and she couldn’t blame you. it had good comfort rooms, chilly ac units, endless charging ports, working areas for all kinds of people, and you could bring coffee in it.

she watched the girl begrudgingly walk towards one of the desks for sharing, making sure you got the outlet that came with it. it seemed to be your spot because knowing you somehow, you would need optimal conditions to work.

“who- oh, your crush is here,” abby cheered quietly, making ellie clamp a hand over her noisy mouth. they nonetheless got the stare from the young librarian, who seemed to be stricter than the senior librarians. they both nodded their heads in apologies before ellie could look over to where you were again.

“you should talk to her. ask her if she wants coffee or something, cos she’s not looking too good.”

abby looked at her like she was nuts. “why are you ordering me around as if i’m your servant. go do that, since you’re so lovestruck and concerned for her.”

“isn’t she your friend?”

“yeah, but she needs a lover more.”

“shut up!”

ellie groaned, planting her face onto the laptop, not minding how much it hurt. these moments reminded her how much of an ass abby could be to her. but it looked like she wasn’t going to budge in her seat, because she was now back to typing away on her laptop.

hesitantly, she got up and walked towards your table, trying to act confident even though she knew you might eat her alive with your smart mouth. god, you could just e-

she shook her head, hoping those thoughts would be gone too. she was standing by your table, hoping as well that she didn’t look that much of a creep from an outsider’s perspective. your back was facing her, since you were face down and probably resting for a bit before locking in for whatever you had to finish. ellie mustered her courage, took in a huge breath, then tapped your shoulder lightly. she became a bit bewildered when you had not responded to the fifth tap, wondering if you had supersight at the back of your head to know you should be ignoring the person bothering you.

but she noticed how limp you hand had gotten, and her eyes widened, rushing to your other side. if she had not seen a person passed out medically, she wouldn’t have been able to tell that y/n probably blacked out from some reason, but thankfully, she knew. within seconds, she had already scooped you up and gathered you in her arms, with abby shouting in the library what the heck she was doing, but she could care less. you were her priority.

that was why you looked like hell the moment you entered. your dark eyebags confirmed that you probably overexerted yourself, leading to the blackout. she knew you were a high achiever, but she didn’t know you were a stupid one. how could you let your academics take control of your life to the point that you would sacrifice your health? she was going to have to speak to you about this when you were better. preferably the moment you woke up.

but right now, she had rushed inside the infirmary and laid you down on one of the beds. a nurse thankfully came to check on you at once calling the doctor to diagnose what was wrong. after pacing around the medical professionals, ellie heard them say that you were very dehydrated and decided to inject IV fluids in you to aid your body. they quickly got to work so you could recover faster.

ellie thanked the doctor and nurses and sat down beside you, taking your hand. “god you fucking scared me,” she muttered under her breath, bringing your hand to her cheek. “for someone at the top of your classes, you’re awfully stupid.” she didn’t realize her scolding would happen even before you woke up.

“you’re seriously gonna be the death of me. i can’t even take care of you the way i want to until your unconscious,” ellie looked at you worriedly. “god, let me take care of you, stubborn-head. give me a chance, i’ll make everything right. i sound like a pussy. i just like you that much, okay.”

your eyes fluttered open at the confession, locking them with hers at that moment.

“…what?”

ellie dropped your hand and stood up at once. “what?” she covered her face in embarrassment, immediately turning red. “how are you awake so fast?”

your eyebrows crossed. “do you want me to stay half-dead or something?”

“no! i meant- ugh, i’m not prepared for this.”

“for what? for declaring your love for me?”

ellie gasped, looking offended. “i didn’t say ‘love’ yet!” she pointed at you as if accusing you of something. “ugh, you’re so annoying.”

you sat up with a small smile, and she knew you knew you had the upperhand in this situation. this was just turning out to be the worst week ellie had had. if she knew you were going to here her random confession, she would’ve prepared some more. you just had to be awake right now.

“well, sorry,” you said, deflating a bit. ellie panicked once again and finally sat down. she took your hand gently and let out a breath.

“i’m sorry, just-…” she looked you in the eyes (this is so cheesy, she hated it) and hoped the sincerity would reach you, “i’m sorry for what happened during freshman year. i was stupid, and i can’t take that shit back. but i’ve liked you for the longest time, and god knows this stupid little crush has made me daydream about you at least thrice a day, and i guess what i’m saying is— god, will you be with me? even if it takes some time?”

you smiled wryly. “the famous ellie williams rambling… i could get used to this.”

ellie groaned out loud and smushed her face into the infirmary’s bed. but she was just hiding her smile because she herself didn’t know that someone could make her ramble stupidly like this. you were well aware of your power over her too.

“look at me ellie.” like a pet, she did. “i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t attracted to you. i honestly would like to like you, but we have to do so much work, especially that i don’t feel that resolved yet with what happened back then. i know you felt like i blindsided you, but i suffered a lot even though i know i did nothing wrong. it’s gonna take a lot of time. are you willing to put in that kind of work with me?”

ellie brought your hand to her cheeks again. “no doubt about it.”

a wide, genuine smile finally broke out your face. “alright. i love to hate you, but i’d like to love you only now, williams.”

she returned the gesture, giving a light kiss on your knuckles. “love to hate ya, but i love to love you more, princess.”

[just-writing-ideas]

cw: abuse and trauma and other unsavory things

interesting character backstories

because "my parents hit me or force me to be perfect" won't cut it for every character in the cast

-characters who grew up poor. poverty is traumatizing, people. i wanna see characters who never ask for anything, count dollars and coins, freak out when the bill isn't split fairly and immediately suspect bed bugs when someone says they're itchy. and mention the ugly stuff too. smelling bad and having water stains on the walls. ice cream for dinner and not eating breakfast. lights going out and fourteen year olds supporting a family of five.

-characters who were neglected. not physically abused, neglected. who don't understand why people care when they don't show up, or seem kind of down today, or leave a party without saying goodbye. who are too independent for their own good. who can't think of anything to say when asked to describe their parents. who are okay with being lonely. who always feel lonely. who get uncomfortable if you even ask them how their day was. who does that?

-characters who were smothered. who were treated like a toddler well into their teens. who were practically stalked by their own parents, never allowed a moment of privacy. who were constantly belittled and denied their autonomy as the adults in their life made every decision for them. regardless of how loved they truly were, this is abuse. this could go in two diverging directions: end result of a very guarded, mature character feeling a constant need to prove themself, or end result of a passive, immature character who requires attention, praise and constant assistance. both have extremely low self-esteem.

-characters who are fundamentally different from their family. maybe they're queer, or adopted, or disabled, or aren't fully related to the rest of them (bonus points if they aren't the same race as their family). characters who watch like a ghost as everyone else smiles and bonds. and maybe it's their fault that they're like this, or maybe it's their fault for not reaching out to the family themself, but... nobody else had to ask for it.

i forgot about this blog

[drdemonprince]

This might not make any sense, but do you think ageplay (especially outside the bedroom) can be a way for someone (typically the little) to avoid self responsibility and maybe even emotional regulation? I’ve been doing some reflection and I’m worried that I might be putting a lot of pressure on my partner in that sense. Maybe we need to tone it down for a bit and recenter? Or rework our terms and conditions of the dynamic?

I think that in any 24/7 power-exchange dynamic, there is a risk of the submissive partner offloading more emotional and logistical responsibility onto the Dominant partner than that partner can sustainably handle. I have been party to that before -- in my frenzy to submit to someone and create the kind of all-encompassing power exchange that I wanted, I stopped ruling my own life, including the domains I was frankly the most competent to run, and it led to my then-Dominant becoming stressed and overwhelmed and caused me to doubt their judgment and brat against them, because they weren't doing things the way I would want them to be done.

Ultimately, this partner of mine concluded they just weren't suited to serious power dynamics outside of the bedroom. But plenty of people are interested in forging that kind of dynamic! It just requires a lot of work, the mutual interest and enjoyment of both parties, and some form of breaks from responsibility for the Dom.

Here's just some general, disorganized thoughts on the matter:

Does giving up power bring you relief from stress, or does it feel as if remaining with the power exchange is essential to you and any intrusion from regular life is a threat? There is a difference between finding intense kink to be a source of relief and pleasure, and trying to escape from reality, and I think where you currently fall with regard to that may give you clues about how sustainable the dynamic is for you as it currently is.

Does your partner have an interest in a 24/7 power exchange? Do they get something from the small moments that aren't especially sexy, be that acts of service around the house, casual on-the-couch bondage, protocols in how you speak or behave around them, or just you being little most of the time? Or do they seem to be going through the motions for a lot of the mundane daily aspects of the stuff?

Does it feel as if your partner and you are "playing a role" all of the time that is separate from reality, or are you able to incorporate daily life concerns into your relationship's power dynamic in a natural feeling way?

Are your submissive and Dominant personas expressions of yourselves, or do you feel that you have to stifle a lot of your natural feelings and reactions in order to maintain the role?

Do you ever find yourself feeling irritated at your Dom, uncertain of their judgement, angry at the requests they make of you, understimulated, or not fully cared for? This may signal that you two are both a bit out of your depth and may need to recalibrate.

What method do you two have for stepping out of the role or giving you both a break? Do you have regular check-in sessions or contract renegotiations? Areas of your life that you do have control over, even if it's just tasks that your Dom trusts you to execute in a way they'd be happy with? Are there signals you can give one another to indicate it's time pump the breaks a little and make the dynamic less intense? Are there spaces or activities where the power dynamic feels relaxed?

Does your Dominant ever get to be vulnerable and weak and lean on you?

Do you have space to provide your input on all major decisions in the household? Being a submissive doesn't mean lacking your own opinions. There should be an open flow of communication, at least during some point every week, so that your Dom understands how the decisions they make will affect you. Even if your Dom goes against your preferences in certain decisions some of the time, they should be able to anticipate how things will impact you, and you should feel like you've been heard.

On a more basic, practical level, what are some of the household responsibilities that cause your Dom the most stress? Taking over responsibility for tasks like meal planning, driving, reorganizing rooms, arranging the payment of bills, sorting through documents, planning trips or dates, picking out your own outfits, looking after the pets, etc may allow you to feel more capable and take the pressure to hold everything together off of your Dom. Your Dom can formally delegate these tasks to you, or provide some input as to their preferences, so that you taking "charge" doesn't feel like a violation of the power dynamic or a stepping out of role.

Anon, it is completely possible for two people to sustain an intense power-exchange relationship all of the time, or virtually all of the time -- but both parties need to find that desirable, and be able to communicate about everything about their lives in a frank way while within those roles. If that doesn't feel feasible or healthy for you and your Dom, you can place more guardrails around the dynamic: tasks that are done outside of role, spaces or times of the week where you relate to one another as equals, responsibilities you can carry, ways for you or your Dom to temporarily tap out, and so on. I think it's also worth examining how the dynamic has been affecting you: do you feel like it makes your life better or worse? Has it made you stronger, happier, more adaptable? Is it what you wanted it to be? Or is something not quite gelling right now?

[staylovesmiley]

Youtiful: Another Collision Story - Chapter 2

₊˚⊹ᰔ Pairing; Stray Kids x afab!reader

₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ Summary; It’s been a wonderful tour so far, spending time visiting different countries with the loves of your life. But will a sudden change ruin everything? A continuation to Collision

₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ Warnings; implied afab reader (only they/them pronouns used for reader), angst, some sexual themes at points, fluff, this is still mainly a slice of life story though there will be some drama in this sequel, unplanned pregnancy, more tags to come most likely as the story progresses

The airport was loud, causing you to have a splitting headache as you tried to rest leaning against Changbin’s strong body in the seat beside you while waiting for your flight to be called. “Feeling any better, baby?” Hyunjin whispered as he took a seat on the other side of you. “Um- not really? My head just really hurts…” The dancer nodded a bit as he thought, pulling out some snacks from his bag to offer you. “Maybe your blood sugar is low? Why don’t you try to eat something.”

The smell coming from the bag held out to you made your stomach wretch and you were out of your seat in seconds, hanging over the edge of the nearest trashcan as you emptied what little breakfast you had been able to hold down into the bin. Both men gave each other worried glances before Hyunjin called out softly to their leader. “Channie hyung- help?” The oldest turned around from where he was discussing something with their manager to see you slowly lifting your head from the trashcan and lock eyes with him. “Star? Oh gosh, honey-“ he was at your side in a second, rubbing your back as someone placed a handful of paper towels in his hand to help clean your face. “Are you sure you’re up for getting on the plane, baby? You know one of us can stay back with you for a day or two until you feel up to flying.”

You were shaking your head before he could finish his sentence, giving him a weak smile. “I’m fine Chris, promise.” With a deep breath you stood up a bit and made your way over to the women’s room. “I’m sure it’s just the change of the seasons getting to me…just gonna go wash my mouth out real quick-“ Chan watched as the door closed behind you, lips pursed together as he walked over to where Hyunjin and Changbin still sat with confusion laced in their shared expressions. “What happened?” His voice was soft yet serious, taking up the seat you had previously been occupying.

Hyunjin shrugged, holding up the snacks he had offered to you. “Their head was hurting so I offered them some incase they just needed to eat- ya know Lix and Minnie said they didn’t eat much for breakfast before leaving either.” As Chan himself caught a whiff of whatever was in the bag held up in his boyfriend’s hands he gagged a bit. “Okay those reek, Jinnie- no wonder Star hurled.” He teased, laughing at the younger’s pout as he put his snacks back in his bag. “You’re such a meanie! Those are absolutely delicious, thank you very much.”

While his boyfriends continued to tease one another, Changbin kept his eyes glued to the bathroom door as his mind began to wander. No, you couldn’t be. He shook his head lightly to clear it of such thoughts. Surely you would tell them if something so serious was happening. He made a mental note to check in on you after you had landed and got checked into the hotel. “Han!” He called out, getting up to make his way over to where Felix had himself practically wrapped around him. “Yeah, Binnie?” Big boba eyes looked up at his fellow rapper, blinking a few times as he waited for the older to tell him what he needed. “Switch places with me and let Star stay with me for the first stop?”

Jisung pouted, arms coming to cross over his chest as best they could with the freckled dancer still draped around him. “And why should I? We agreed age order from youngest to oldest and it’s my turn!” Changbin rolled his eyes playfully and gave a light slap to the younger’s arm. “I’m just worried about them. They aren’t feeling well and I wanted to be able to keep an eye on them and take care of them.” He confessed, looking down at his shoes bashfully causing both of his boyfriends to coo at his shyness. “Awe Binnie that’s so sweet!” Felix chirped, rubbing Han’s shoulders rapidly with the cuteness aggression he was feeling.

The younger rapper’s smile fell quickly the more he thought, pout back on his lips as he looked up at Changbin. “But wait a minute why can’t I take care of them? What difference would it make-“ Felix gave him a light slap this time, pouting back at him. “You know how Bin is- come on just swap with him!” At the persistence of both men, Jisung relented. “Okay fine…Star can stay with you this stop- but no take backs! I get the turn after Jinnie! Felix as my witness!”

Changbin relaxed a bit knowing your spot in his room that night had been secured. “Deal! Thanks Hannie~” The older wished he could lean down and give his boyfriend a kiss as thanks but knew that was not doable in such a public space, so he settled for blowing him one instead before practically skipping back over to his seat with Hyunjin and Chan. By now you had returned from the restroom and sitting in the seat he once occupied. “Hi baby! I just talked to Han and he agreed to switch places with me so you’ll be with me at this first stop.”

You raised an eyebrow at him in question, looking behind him at where Felix and Han both gave you a smile and a wave. “Oh-Kay? Any reason?” You gave your boyfriend a smile to let him know you weren’t upset by the change, only curious as to why. “Just missed you lately and wanted some time with you sooner is all! Is that a crime?” He teased, about to sit beside Hyunjin in the empty spot on his other side when the sound of your flight being called echoed through the loud speakers. “I’m still sitting with Innie on the flight, though. I promised him I’d help him choose what photos to post next to Instagram.”

The rapper nodded his head, helping you up as your head spun slightly and your nausea felt like it could be returning. “Fine by me, as long as I get you to myself for the week!” With a wink, Changbin headed off after the others to board the plane. You fell in line as well, Jeongin coming up beside you to link arms with a dimpled smile. “Excited to be back in the states?” He asked, head tilting to the side cutely as he looked at you expectantly. “Yeah kinda! We are going mostly to places I’ve never been….I mean- America is so big and we are only making a few stops in comparison but it will be nice to see new places.” You attempted to explain, watching as he nodded in understanding. “I’m glad you can come with us and experience everything.” The younger’s voice was soft, fingers intertwining with yours the second you were sat in your seats. “Me too, Innie.” You leaned over to place a kiss over his dimpled cheek causing them to deepen even more as his smile grew wider.

While on the flight you tried to focus on whatever conversations you were pulled into with your youngest boyfriend. However, your mind continued to wonder to the small version of one of them currently growing inside you and what you were going to do regarding the issue. Every time you thought about how difficult life would become with a child added into the mix, both for you and the boys, you felt the right decision was to terminate the pregnancy. But the thought of termination caused tears to well in your eyes and an unease to settle deep in your bones.

You never really thought about having children, but now that it was possibly happening you couldn’t help but imagine it. Even though you felt that for the sake of your boyfriends’ and their careers you shouldn’t keep it, you weren’t sure that’s what you really wanted. As you drifted off to sleep sometime during the flight you found yourself caught in a dream where you had decided to keep the baby, raising it along side the kids happily.

The scenes played in your mind rapidly.

Your sweet Changbin cradling the tiny infant close to his muscular chest, his physique making the tiny human look even smaller as he would look at them with so much love and adoration.

Jisung rocking the baby to sleep or soothing them when they got fussy by singing in such a gentle voice it pulled at the strings of your heart and made you fall for him just that much more.

Seungmin who would obsess over making sure everything was perfectly safe, especially once the little one started to crawl and walk, going baby proofing crazy and storming around the dorm like a man gone mad with a tool belt around his waist and a power drill in his hand.

Hyunjin, ever the artist, painting your bump each month for pictures as your little baby grew inside of you. When they were finally born he would inside on taking foot prints each month as well for a project he was keeping to himself, a surprise for you all.

Your precious Innie who would make sure that any time he went out with the baby they were dressed in matching outfits. He would take a million and one pictures of the two of them, so proud to be a father with the most best dressed baby on the planet. No, universe.

Felix who when he first saw the little bundle laid on your chest in the hospital, tears welling in his eyes before finally spilling over once the baby was placed in his arms. Ever since then he would cry any time the infant would, somehow instantly quieting the child as they would stare at him with wide eyes as if shocked by the action.

Minho who would cook almost endlessly in a quest to find something the now growing toddler would eat, refusing to purchase the overpriced and over processed baby food from the store. He insisted no child of his would ever eat bland mush as long as he was around.

And your lovely Chan, working in the studio as usually but now with a babbling toddler sat in his lap, pudgy little fingers attempting to smash at the keyboard he was currently working on but instead of getting upset he would calmly take the little hands in his own and beam down at them with such a soft expression, speaking in the same baby voice he would with his beloved pet Berry, talking about how his baby wanted to be just like him and be a producer someday.

When you woke, jostled slightly by your youngest boyfriend who sat beside you, you looked around frantically as if you were missing something. When it dawned on you that you had only been dreaming, and there was no child for you to hold and care for, your eyes began to glass over with tears and you let out a few warning sniffles before the dam burst and you were openly sobbing in your seat. The sound of your cries alerted your boyfriends who were in the process of gathering their things to leave the plane now that it had landed.

“Star, baby? What’s wrong-“ Jisung, who had been sitting in the isle across from you, crouched down beside you to wipe away your tears gently. The sweet gesture only served to make you cry even more, body trembling as you reached out and clung to him as Jeongin struggled to help undo your seatbelt for you.

The boys all stood watching with concern, no one else stepping forward for fear that they may crowd you and make it worse. Once Jeongin got the seatbelt undone you fully flung yourself into Jisung’s arms, knocking him back onto the isle floor with the force as he held you protectively. “Hey, baby. I’m here, I’ve got you.” You slowly began to calm down, face buried in the crook of his neck, taking deep breaths to match his own as you felt his chest move with your own.

When you were finally calm enough you pulled back, wiping away your tears as you stood. “Star? What was all that about….” Jeongin spoke softly, coming up behind you with both of your carryons slung over his shoulders. “I just- um- bad dream…” You looked down, feeling bad for lying to them. It wasn’t a bad dream, not at all. It was such a lovely and idealistic dream that caused your heart to feel like had been ripped out of your chest when you awoke to see it wasn’t real. But it could be…it was already partially real and the fact that you enjoyed the dream so much just confused you more as to what decision would be the right one. You needed to tell them, soon. But for now you focused on getting out of the plane and into the cars that would take you to the hotel you’d be staying in for the week.

Once you were finally settled in the hotel with Changbin, the your boyfriend insisted you lay down for a nap and that he would wake you before they ordered dinner. You weren’t going to argue, your head hurting and the nausea having kept you up most nights leading up to the trip. You weren’t sure if it was from the tiny human growing inside you or the stress of trying to figure out what to do about said tiny human.

You curled up on the soft hotel mattress and your loving boyfriend tucked you in with a soft kiss to your temple, letting you know he was going to be in Chan’s room to work on some new music they had some ideas for. He wasn’t lying entirely, he was going to Chan’s room. They all were.

He made his way across the hall and gave a few sharp knocks before the door was opening and Jeongin was pulling him inside rather harshly. “Woah- no need to manhandle me Ayen-ah!” He laughed, watching as the youngest closed the door and made his way back over to where Felix was curled up on the couch to cuddle up to him. “Something is wrong with Star, like….really wrong.” Han speaks up first, hands rubbing nervously over his bouncing knees before Minho reaches over to still them. “Well clearly- but they don’t seem to want to talk about it…” Hyunjin says, his eyebrows furrowed as he seemed to be lost in his confusion. “I think I know what’s wrong.” Changbin spoke up, voice quiet which was a rare occurrence. All eyes fell on him expectantly, Chan stepping up to him with arms crossed over his chest and a look of worry obviously painted across his face. “Bin?”

Taking a deep breath, the rapper ran a hand through his hair nervously before answering. “I think Star could be pregnant.”

Blank stares met his eyes as he looked over all of his boyfriends. Within seconds the room erupted into chaos. Hyunjin looked like he had seen a ghost, Seungmin’s expression not much better. Chan held an unreadable expression though there were hints of worry and disbelief hidden there. Felix was teary eyed as he looked around. “P-Pregnant? Like with our baby?” This caused Minho to scoff, the second oldest holding a slightly amused expression. “Ya! Who else’s baby would it be?” He looked around at the group with a pointed finger. “Alright fess up, who’s been hitting it raw?” Minho tried to lighten the mood. Even though he was joking a few hands suddenly raised slowly. Han, Jeongin, and not surprisingly Chan all held their hands up bashfully. “Seriously??” Seungmin stared with wide, disbelieving eyes. “They were on birth control! We didn’t think we would end up like this-“ Han shouted in defense, a pout evident on his face.

Minho rubbed his back gently, giving a kiss to his head. “Hey, we aren’t accusing you of murder or anything I was only teasing. Didn’t expect any of you to fess up.”

The room fell silent, all of them staring off into space before Hyunjin finally spoke up in an almost dreamy voice. “We’re….we could be dads.” That’s what caused the tears to finally fall from Felix as he held on to Jeongin, crying onto his shoulder as the youngest gently ran his fingers through his hair even though there were tears in his own eyes making his vision slightly blurred.

“Guys I could be wrong- let’s not get to ahead of ourselves! I just- I remember this is kinda how my sister was when she was pregnant with my nephew…it’s why I wanted them to stay with me this week so I could maybe keep an eye on them and make sure they are okay if that is the case…maybe get them to feel comfortable enough to tell me.”

Chan frowned, sweaty palms running over his thighs nervously. “But why wouldn’t they tell us already? What if they aren’t pregnant and it’s something really bad- I’m gonna go talk to them-“ Changbin stopped him, bringing the oldest in for a tight hug as he rubbed his back soothingly. “Hyung please- she’s resting now. I’m almost positive that’s what’s going on…trust me? She may just be overwhelmed and trying to find the right time. We haven’t exactly all been available as of late.”

All eyes were cast downwards as they realized he was speaking nothing but the truth. With the comeback and then the world tour right after they had been so busy that any time spent with their beloved partner was fleeting and brief or not all of them were present. If what Changbin was suggesting was true then it would be something you would want to tell them all together, and so it made sense you would be waiting for the right time.

Slowly everyone began to calm down, minds running wild with the news that they would be fathers this very moment at the possibility there was a baby growing inside of you. They didn’t know for sure yet and so they all silently agreed to wait for you to say something about it first for fear of getting it wrong. For all they knew you were coming down with the flu and if they mentioned to you that you could be pregnant it could only upset you further, as your emotional state as of late could be from anything from stress at work to missing your boyfriends as they got busier with their own work.

That night Changbin tells them to eat without the two of you, instead the rapper ordered you both room service and woke you gently by slipping into bed behind you and pulling you against his strong chest. “Hmph-Binnie?” You mumbled, sleep still muddling your mind. “It’s me, baby. Since you seemed so tired I decided the two of us could just eat in here tonight? Is that okay?” You smiled softly, nodding as you rolled over in his arms to face him. “I’m not gonna complain about getting some one on one time with you, Binnie~” Changbin beamed at you, his dimple showing causing you to reach up and poke it. He giggled, pulling you closer as he peppered your face in soft kisses.

These were the moments you lived for, feeling safe and loved. You thought back to your current predicament, eyes closing as you remembered the dream from the plane. Maybe…this would be okay? Maybe it wouldn’t complicate things as much as you were worrying about? Still, doubt crept into your mind as you took a shaky breath. “Everything okay, baby? Is my starlight still feeling icky?” You nodded and slowly sat up as to not trigger your nausea. “Not too bad right now, my head just hurts a bit? I’ll be okay though.” Changbin hummed softly, admiring you from where he still laid back against the soft pillows. He had to fight the urge to reach out and run a hand over your stomach, his thoughts still running wild with the images of you pregnant with his baby. Their baby.

The food arrived shortly after and even though you had to struggle to keep it down, you managed alright and afterwards Changbin drew a warm bath for the both of you. Once you were settled with your back resting against his chest and the bubbles he had added lightly tickling your bare skin you began to feel better. “A bubble bath?” You giggled, finally acknowledging it as you looked at him from over your shoulder. Your boyfriend laughed as well, scooping up a handful before bringing it to his chin to make a fake beard. “Yup, just so I could do this! Do you think I’d look good with facial hair?” You snorted, scooping up some of your own to create your own beard. “I dunno…would I?” This caused the both of you to erupt in infectious laughter, the rest of the bath spent more peacefully until the water became too cold and you both ended up wrapped in each others arms in bed, bare limbs tangled as Changbin kissed you softly in between whispers of how much he adored you. You told him the same, of course, listing off everything about him that you found endearing.

That is how you drifted off to sleep, feeling oh so loved and oh so safe, hope wrapping around you as you dreamed yet again of what the future could be if you were to start a family with the absolute loves of your life.

author’s note: I know I left you guys hanging with this story for long enough- I’m so sorry it took this long to get chapter 2 out but you guys should all give a big thanks to @chancloud8 for helping me get out of the slump I was having regarding the dream part of the fic- I wasn’t exactly sure what direction I wanted to go and the inner conflict Star is having was just- idk I really hope I got it across how I wanted- I’m not gonna make you all wait much longer for ch3 so please be a little patient as I at the very least update Connected and Going Dumb before another Youtiful update. I hope you all enjoy~

taglist; (pink users I wasn’t able to tag) @softkisshyunjin @coastinglove @palindrome969 @amara-mars @whiteghostt @ihrtlix @queen-in-the-shadows @soaplickerrr @skzswife @reallysparklychaos @sebastianswhore13 @velvetmoonlght @katsukis1wife @chancloud8 @corgilover20

[heich0e]

the suna where he asks if you'd have a baby with him

ask game: a christmas drabble from an established AU AU: wouldn't it be nice?

you've never been particularly good at giving people presents.

not for lack of trying, or lack of care—you want to be good at gift giving, but somehow you've just never quite mastered the skill. you're too indecisive to pick just one thing, so you always end up with a strange mismatched array of little gifts when the time comes, none of which have any particular connection to the other.

and that's to say nothing of your absolutely horrendous gift wrapping abilities.

before you started dating rintarou, christmas was always a real point of stress in your life. from picking out the gift, to tracking the item down, to trying (and ultimately failing) to wrap it in a way that didn't give the impression that a child had done it one-handedly. the stress that built up around the holiday often overshadowed any of the actual enjoyment you were meant to derive from it. and though none of your exes had ever explicitly called you out on being a god-awful gift giver, you knew that it was true.

thankfully, in that way that only rintarou seems to be able to do, that problem just... disappeared when the two of you started dating.

maybe disappeared is the wrong word, but that anxiety that you always used to feel cresting as the holidays drew near just never seemed to swell to the same point of misery as it used to. you never felt the same pressure to pick the perfect thing. to wrap it beautifully. to get it right.

because rintarou has this way of... reassuring you. of sensing when you're struggling and making things... easier. all without ever having to ask.

"i'm not big on gifts," he'd said to you, a full three weeks before your first christmas together. "wanna just go somewhere for the holiday, instead of buying presents? i've got some time off and have been thinking about going to kyoto."

and that settled it.

each christmas since then has passed similarly. either rintarou makes a plan, or very explicitly tells you what he'd like to get as a gift, and when the time comes, any of that stress that used to build up around the day just never even has the chance to take root.

but this year, there's a different sort of nervousness you feel about the holiday.

"my mom sent us a card," rintarou says, coming around the corner of your living room with a little red envelope in his hands. "she invited us to visit for the new year, too."

you shift in your seat under the kotatsu, looking up as he stands over you. "do you want to go?"

he sighs, slumping down onto the sofa behind you. "not really."

"we don't have to, then, if you really don't want to," you assure him, leaning back against the sofa so you're a little nearer to him. he inches forward on the couch cushions to close the gap even further. "but it might be nice to see your family."

rintarou isn't particularly close to his parents, who divorced when he was young. of his family members, the nearest to him is his little sister—and their relationship had largely been built once they both reached adulthood.

"last time we went to see my family my grandma tried to take you to a shaman to get you pregnant," rintarou replies dryly. "you sure you wanna go through that again?"

"i don't think the shaman was the one who was supposed to knock me up," you point out, and rintarou huffs out a laugh. you turn away from him a little. rintarou's grandmother was tired of waiting for great grand children and had tried to use shamanism to speed the process along—it had ended in an argument over a family dinner. "you two really are related, huh?"

"what was that?"

you peek at him over your shoulder.

"i think we should go to see them."

rintarou's brow quirks slightly at your words, and you lean forward so your elbows are resting on the edge of the couch cushion.

his eyes are always so green when you're this close to him, lined with those dark wispy lashes. so pretty. delicate and effortless in a way that would upset you if he wasn't already yours.

"you really wanna go?" he asks you quietly, and you can feel the warmth of his breath on your lips when he speaks. you nod a little, and your lips brush because of the proximity—not quite a kiss, but enough to make him lean forward in search of one.

you pull away before he gets what he's looking for.

"and you can tell grandma that we won't need the shaman this year."

because she's already gotten what she wanted.

he blinks at you, and then his eyes widen, and before you know it he's sitting bolt upright on the sofa with a look of utter disbelief on his pretty face.

just like always, rintarou made gift giving easy this year.

only this time, the present is something you'll both cherish equally, because it's something you've been wanting, too.

[paimonial-rage]

in another life - xiao

the steambird's secret santa for @swordfish-ii | i tried to make it cozy and angsty but i'm not sure if i succeeded. i hope you enjoy!

“Do you ever think about what we’d be doing if we were born human?” You asked as you gazed up at the sky. It was beginning to snow now. Not heavily, no. It looked as if snowflakes were fluttering across the sky, dotting the torn landscape. 

Xiao followed your gaze as he sat beside where you lay. Wounds and bruises littered his skin and torn were his clothes. The spear in his hand was embedded into the earth, the only thing standing before you both. 

“I’ve… never considered such idle musings,” he replied. 

He was tired. So tired. 

You laughed, though paused midway to cough up the blood threatening to drown your lungs.

“Really? Not once?”

He shook his head. “I don’t see the point in thinking about things that can’t happen.”

You sighed.

“Always so serious,” you pouted. “Well, I like to think about things like that. For example, I bet Brother Bosacius would be a construction worker. Or maybe a blacksmith, you know, with his muscles he’s so proud of and all. And Brother Menogias would be leading the Liyue fashion industry, obviously,” you began, humming in thought. “I bet Rex Lapis would still order clothes from him, even if he was human.”

“I can see that.”

“And Sister Bonanus? I bet she’d be a model for Brother Menogias. Ironic, considering how they ended in this life. I can see her flooding his workshop with all the long pretty dresses she adored.”

“Sister Indarias… I don’t know what she’d be. A business woman, maybe?” You mused. “She was always the fiery type.”

As you spoke, Xiao kept his eyes on the sky, tracing the snowflakes that fell. He didn’t look at the decimated surroundings. Away from his view was your battered body and broken bones. And the memory he held of the frenzied battle against each other just minutes before was out of sight. How you managed to get a brief moment of lucidity from the cancer that was karmic debt was beyond him.

“You… you would be a Wushou dancer,” you began, your voice weaker. “Or some kind of performer part of a troupe, known for your skill and agility. You’d wow the crowds with your acrobatic stunts, I bet. And as for me… I don’t know. Perhaps a normal civilian.”

You coughed again, softer this time. No doubt your eyes would start losing their focus soon. He didn’t have to look at you to know. He’d seen it so, so many times before. 

“And somehow… we’d all be friends, even though we’re so different,” you finally said, a smile evident in your voice. “Brother Bosacius would play pranks on you like usual. Sister Bonanus and Sister Indarias would stay up late chatting about makeup. I’d be begging Brother Menogias for a new outfit. Everything… like how it should be.”

It was quiet between you both now as you stared at the sky. It was beginning to snow heavier now. Soon the evidence of your madness would be lost under a blanket of white. 

“Do you…” You began, your voice wavering for the first time, even weaker than it was before. There was not much time left now. “Do you think our next lives will be happier? And that… we will all be friends?”

“I… don’t know.”

That’s all he could say. Though your words painted a beautiful picture, they weren’t reality. The truth was often less kind than one would hope for. And the last thing he could do was lie to you. You deserved more than that.

“But…”

If you wanted honesty…

His gaze finally turned back to you. There you lie—bruised and battered, bleeding from your wounds, and still as beautiful as the day he first saw you. But gone was the light from your lovely eyes. You would speak no more.

His eyes shut as he let out a tired exhausted sigh. Then, he turned his eyes back up at the sky.

“If… if it did turn out that way… I suppose I wouldn’t mind.”

[sepublic]

IDW Transformers’ take on the war and the origins of the Decepticons was one of those things that was rly thoughtful and interesting to read as a kid (so as the target demographic I guess lol) only as an adult to have some rly troubling implications like the ones you pointed out. I was EXTREMELY relieved that TF One swapped it back so that the Autobots are the low-class miners and the Decepticons were the military (closer to the original cartoon anyway) while still using the IDW comics as inspiration in other ways.

Transformers One is such a strange case for me because on the one hand, it's propaganda. I'm sorry but it's transparently propaganda, it's executives embracing IDW's attempt at "maturity" that well-intentioned or not, inevitably paints the revolutionaries as villains by having them arbitrarily blow up an orphanage, because we gotta demonize revolutionaries who use violence.

We gotta warn kids of the dangers of the violent revolution, because revolution is only permitted if peaceful! Let's just ignore what we were taught about the American Revolution... Seriously, look at the elites' response to Brian Thompson's assassination!

That being said. This is like 95% speculation. But there are clear differences between IDW and Transformers One. So to me, personally, it feels like the writers —Eric Pearson, Andrew Barrer, and Gabriel Ferrari— were aware of the issues of the IDW premise. They were given a basic outline by executives. And so they opted to smooth over the issues as much as they could, work with it, while still being stuck with that basic problem at the end of the day.

So as you've said, I appreciate Orion and D-16 being working-class bots, that they're both coming from the same place. I appreciate the framing of Orion's opposition coming from the concept of Anti-Death Penalty, that no government should have the power to execute people. I appreciate the implications of D-16 siding with disgruntled military soldiers, whose only idea of fixing society is to destroy enemies.

There's something to be said about people who fantasize purely on committing violence, without any of the actual work of rebuilding and keeping things running! That's why Orion's rebellion consists of his fellow miners. I can see the implication, that even if D-16 hadn't gone off, there would inevitably be friction between the High Guard's jingoism and the civilians when Orion reformats things, and bans the death penalty.

...But again, again! D-16 is a black man. Not literally but he's voiced by Brian Tyree Henry, anyone can hear his voice. And his chanting of "Rise up" is juxtaposed with Orion Pax, who is voiced by white MCU star Chris Hemsworth. It feels ridiculous how the movie bends over backwards to paint D-16 as evil with shots of civilians running away from the convenient collateral of his shots, but nothing like that is ever shown with our protagonists and their damage!

B slicing up other Cybertronians is treated as a gag, but Sentinel's life and death matters more than his guards' which is uh. A weird way to frame things. I guess maybe it's because D-16 is doing it out of "reckless anger" whereas B isn't trying to...? But ultimately, the violence of our protagonists is meant to be framed as out of strict necessity, which is something I have to acknowledge.

I can't say for sure what Pearson, Barrer, and Ferrari were thinking. I appreciate Transformers One for smoothing out the edges. But I can't help but see D-16 as a pastiche of BLM activists, of the UHC shooter, because he's willing to be angry and violent towards his oppressors. He's a black man who gets branded and his violence is treated as exceptional and unique because of his anger, meanwhile B's kills are a gag.

There's an irony in that Sentinel's higher-class life is treasured by the narrative, but the lives of his comparatively lower-class bodyguards are worth nothing. The pervasiveness, it felt insidious; It genuinely kept me from enjoying the final battle between Optimus and Megatron, how the narrative wants to be triumphant but the dark undertone can’t be ignored. Call me a buzzkill.

I know people think this sort of trope is meant to be 'nuanced', that it makes for a more 'interesting' villain, one you can relate to and sympathize with. See yourself in. But in the end, you can only go so far in "reclaiming" a stereotype. You can't be in utter denial of the subtext and intention behind it. You can't claim this is actually good writing, I thought we were liking these villains out of spite, not in support of a narrative we think is secretly on our side too!

That executives need a revolution story where the ultimate villain who causes even more violence in the long run is, GASP, a revolutionary who shows people like them no mercy, is telling. There can only be a revolution in media if it shows the elite being deliberately spared at all costs, even to the point of Orion sacrificing his own life (Even if for D-16’s soul), while their own workers like those bodyguards are just fodder.

G1 was not the pinnacle of Leftist media but it was also inoffensive and knew what it was. This is… different.

[red-doll-face]

You're much younger than Arthur. Maybe he doesn't mind as much as he thinks he does...

Low-High Honor Arthur Morgan x fem. reader who is younger than him.

Some head canons that ended up way too long 😭😔 hope you don't mind too much! I am 23 currently so these are really in the mind of reader being over 18 at least. At 23, Arthur is still way older than me so I guess it's just what does it for me! Includes both high and low honor versions. Thanks for reading!! and please let me know if you like them 😭

Warnings: NSFW 18+ only pls, Daddy Kink, Innocence Kink, Corruption Kink, nasty boy low honor arthur being toxic and manipulative (not too badly tho) its ok sweetie arthur is here to balance it out 😳💖💓🥹😳😭

:High Honor:

He had convinced himself that he was way too old for you and quite honestly shut that shit down the second he found his mind wandering to how pretty you were, your own natural beauty catching his eye. He can think you’re sweet and nice, that you understand him and go out of your way to talk to him. Doesn’t matter, he mentally smacks himself for thinking of you past anything like “mentor” or something. He might steal a glance once in a while but he feels bad about it every time. It’s just that, stolen, because in his mind, you don’t belong to him and you never will. He’s more than 10 years your senior, it makes him feel like a dirty old man. Arthur has a strange conflicted energy around you, like he wants to spend time with you but also doesn’t want to come off as creepy or too attached to something that can never be. If you make efforts to be around him, he does appreciate it and will stick around but he always cuts it sort of short. 

Will subtly try to remind himself how young you are, referring to you as girl or kid to others or even to you. He has no idea you think that’s kinda hot. Will jokingly say you’re too young for certain things and thinks it’s cute if you pout and try to fight back against him. Holds alcohol out of your reach and clicks his tongue at you. When you point out the other young women in camp, he’s giving in but only a little, he still watches out for you. He’s protective in the sense that he does see you as someone who needs protecting. He can lie and say it's because of your age but really he just likes you and doesn’t want to admit it.

Anytime you try to get him to understand that you think of him as more than a vague father or brother figure, he’s missing the signs, straight over his head. Light jabs at his age, like calling him Mr. Morgan; make him roll his eyes a little bit but you can catch an endeared smile on his face. Truly a bit hard headed when it comes to noticing that you tease him with more than poking fun in mind. You have to find reasons to touch or kiss him on the cheek. He still might miss physical signs, real dumb dumb behavior. It’s impossible in his head that you would think of him like that. 

If you can get him to open up, having emotionally charged conversations with him is a good way to get him to understand that you care about him at least. Arthur just likes to feel like you’re listening and that you like him enough to care about his thoughts and feelings. If you offer comfort to him in hard times, he’s lowkey simping for you…He can be very closed off, not all too willing to share his truths, especially with someone who may not even understand but if he can be himself around you and you don’t judge, he can forget his feelings about your youth for a moment. 

It’s hard for him to initiate because he’s convinced that if anything were to happen between the both of you, it would be wrong or perverse in some way. If you tell him you like him, he might try to tell you otherwise, trying to get you to think differently of him. Suggests you find someone closer to your age or someone who hasn’t led a life like he has. It’s all really sad because he’s also insinuating that he’ll ruin your life in some way. 

The first time he kisses you will be way too gentle, you’ll hardly call it a kiss. He thinks of himself as too rough for you so he holds back like 99% in an attempt to seem more like a gentleman. It takes you grabbing onto him and deepening your kiss for him to give you more. He’s gentle, hands on your cheeks, holding you like you’ll break if he squeezes too hard. 

Expect a whole lot of “this ain’t right,” or “I’m too damn old for this,” at first. But once you get him to give in, there’s no going back. He gives you his all, no matter what. He does get a bit bashful making things official, especially when there's something to be said about it. John calling him something terrible for being with you like cradle robber or something puts a sour look on his face but he tries his best to power through it. “She ain’t a goddamn baby,” “She might as well be, how old are you again? Or did you lose count?” “Shut the hell up, John.” Hugs and kisses from you definitely make it worth it. He gets a bit used to it, letting things like that stop affecting him so much. 

He thinks he doesn’t deserve you and some small part of him will always believe that you could still be better off with someone else but he gets greedier and greedier with you, the more you love on him, he doesn't want to even think of you with anyone else. He's still so confused that you think he is attractive at his age. He’ll show you pictures of him when he was young and he sort of expects you to say that he was more appealing back then. But you don’t; you just pet his face, his scratchy beard and his sun kissed skin. Arthur lets you see his soft smile when you say you love him right now, more than anything. 

Taking your firsts might put a weird (not bad though) taste in his mouth. First kisses or virginity, he’s nervous he’ll come up short and not be what you're expecting. But his best is more than enough to make you happy. He wants to make your first experiences feel special and memorable, the last thing he wants is to put pressure on you, he just puts way too much pressure on himself. He ends up being just a little too gentle. He needs a lot of praise, a lot of egging on to get more confident. If you beg and plead for more, he can’t say no, he always gives you what you want. Getting him to be more “out there” is a little more difficult. He’s embarrassed to admit he might like when you playfully call him daddy or your old man. The guilt kind of turns him on but he has a hard time coming to terms with that. At his own pace, he’ll indulge more if you’re into it. You’re crossing some weird wires in his head, he swears. If you say it to him in the right context, he’s giving you a shocked look and a halfhearted scolding as he tries not to get turned on in the middle of what he’s doing. “You’re gonna be the death of me, girl,” makes you giggle at him. 

:Low Honor:

He might also be somewhat against it but for different reasons. He thinks girls like you have high expectations and it annoys him. But if he thinks you’re pretty that’s what he thinks. He doesn't let anybody get too close so if he’s thinking about you as more, your age is not something that stops him from doing so. It does just take him some time to think about letting you close enough for anything more than his usual rude demeanor and standoffish personality. 

The only way he'll know he likes you as a bit more than another thankless and ungrateful face in the crowd of people he begrudgingly provides for is if you thank him for bringing money or things back to camp. He gets a little quiet, trying to suss out ulterior motives but he thinks you’re quite adorable. Looks away and says it’s nothing. He’ll indulge you, doing things that are just for you, just to hear you say thank you again. 

He teases you more, emphasizing how young you are, in a way that rubs him the right way. Calling you little girl, intimidating you with his size, or keeping you away from certain things like cigarettes. “These are for grown ups, sweetheart,” If you’re a brat around him, he likes a bit of brat taming. “Dunno, might need to take you over my knee if you’re gonna act like that,” has you gasping and stuttering out a clumsy response.

It’s easy to sway him into taking things further with you. He isn’t one for hanging around the camp, so close to everyone else anyway, he likes his alone time. Catching him when he’s by himself, smoking a cigarette, is a good time to get on his nerves enough to force his hand a little bit. Stand too close to him and run your fingers over the handle of his gun and ask if you can hold it, he’s so close to snapping. The look in his eye under the shadow of his hat makes you feel 5 degrees warmer. “You better quit playin’ games with me, girl. Not sure you know what you’re askin’ for,”  Maybe not the best idea to defiantly ask him to show you.

Then you’re sat on his knee, he’s pressing his mouth into yours, sloppy kisses with no regard for whether you think it’s too much for you or not. He’s shoving his tongue into your mouth, one hand to steady you and the other groping your tits. He’s mostly trying to get you to be as noisy as possible. 

He’s really not guilty at all. Maybe a little but he doesn’t let guilt affect his actions. It may be true that maybe you could be with someone better than him but if you’re with him, you know what you’re in for. You’re his girl and there isn’t anyone else for you if he’s your man. Arthur may not admit it but in the back of his head, there is a voice that whispers to him that one day you’ll leave him behind. He overcompensates for it, doing what he can to see you smile, rather reluctantly asking if you’re happy with him once in a while. If you ask why, he’s unclear, “Jus’… makin’ sure,” your enthusiastic yes, followed by a kiss on his cheek actually flatters him a little, rubbing his neck, a quiet ‘good’ is all he has to say. 

If he gets shit for being with you, he brushes it off. He might get flack from some well meaning people, Hosea or Abigail might tell him to leave you alone, that he should know better. But he thinks they should know better too, Arthur has very little restraint. So if a young pretty thing wants to be his girl, he’s not saying no. Any notions of how guilty he should be don’t come from him. He may think he’s a sinner and a bad man but those things don’t stop him from wanting you. And Arthur always gets what he wants when he can help it. 

Arthur has never given too much thought about what women think of how he looks. He certainly doesn’t think too much of himself and knows he isn’t exactly in his prime, looks wise at the very least. He’s not too confident about his looks or his body really, he’s more confident when it comes to his abilities and skills. So if you tell him you like the way he looks, he isn’t gonna argue, just pleasantly surprised if he happens to believe you. There’s a chance he thinks you're lying. He knows there’s something perhaps a bit off with you, most girls your age don’t give him a second glance but does it stroke his ego when you stare at him, bite your lip when he grabs his belt, pulling all of your attention to the size of his hands and his crotch. 

If you’re softer about your affections for him, he’s happy to accept them too, you’re his little angel, but he has every intention to pull you down from heaven to make you his. You can start with soft touches over his face, rubbing up over his shoulders and chest but he’s quick to pull you deeper with him. His teeth nip softly at your lips, his hands roam all over you.

He's eager to take your firsts, in his twisted little head, he knows he can regulate what you think is normal. He doesn’t have to play gentle and sweet, he bites and sucks marks on you, slaps your ass pretty hard. Arthur’s happy to have himself be the man that ruins you for other men, he’s your first and your last. 

Sorry but he’s kind of toxic, he likes the way you do things like kiss him, or touch him, take him in your mouth; but sometimes he puts on a little bit of an unimpressed face, not exactly bored or anything, just enough to see you try harder to please him. He always gives in; especially when he can tell you’re trying. His proud little smirk and affection are something you might have to work for. Your inexperience is the perfect opportunity to have you eager to make him happy. 

Huge innocence kink, he loves to corrupt you, teach you about what a man does with a woman he likes. Even better if you have no clue, or you think babies come from kissing or something, god is he eager to fuck all of that up. He’s all for you calling him daddy too, the guilt or the imagery or whatever doesn’t do it for other people just makes it so much more appealing to him. Most of the time, he likes to keep your affairs private but once in a while, he’ll show out, just to show who you belong to. If people happen to overhear the racy things you two talk about and they give you a weird look, he just has a knowing smirk for the eavesdropper.

Can you tell that I think age gaps are hot? RDR let me fuck that middle aged man right neow!!! When will they let RDO be about dating Arthur Morgan??? 😔😔😔😔wish he was at least a fuckin stranger mission or something SIGHHHH anyway Thanks for reading and pls let me know if you liked it! Otherwise I'll feel like a freak LMAO

[comet-soda-lite]

While I did really love season 2 of Arcane (especially episode 7 and the subsequent follow-through of its plot threads, no notes there), I do feel like it dropped the ball compared to season 1 overall.

Season 1's narrative was complex, nuanced, and above all, highly political. The exploration of police brutality, the state's monopoly on "justified" violence, the difference (or lack thereof) between direct violence and violence by way of systemic neglect/oppression, and the role of discrimination/vilification (both intentional & subconscious) in maintaining control over a socioeconomic underclass, were all core to Arcane's identity.

For instance, what's the difference between the council's neglectful, stagnant, and often actively oppressive approach to governing the Under City—which allowed thousands to suffer and starve and be exploited in every way imaginable—versus Jinx (the "monster")'s direct acts of violence against relatively only a handful of people? This question is posed to the audience a lot in season 1, this idea that maybe the councillors (including Mel, Heimerdinger, and Jayce) should be under the same amount or even more scrutiny than a character like Jinx. But in season 2, the show suddenly seems completely uninterested in scrutinizing them in that way or to that extent.

Season 2 actually pulled back on all the aforementioned core themes, both in scope and depth. The political stuff was nearly absent in comparison. And when it was present, the complexity and teeth with which it was willing to tackle its subject matter (especially in terms of the enforcers) was toned way down.

Of course, the relevant political commentary was always destined to fall by the wayside the moment the show pivoted to Viktor as the main antagonizing force. His cult arc refocused the show around a more philosophical theme, that being "human emotion and imperfection may be the cause of all conflict and pain, but they're also the reason life is worth living." Which is a theme a really like, don't get me wrong, but it's a pretty broad idea and a pretty common theme across a shitton of media, and Arcane really does not explore it in any especially unique or meaningful way. Viktor only seems to even believe in his cause—not because of a long built-up character arc that makes the audience question whether he might actually have a point—but because he's being influenced by the Hexcore.

Episode 7 is fantastic though, like I said. One invention, one moment, one turn of fate, can change history forever (i.e. Vi's death got Jayce properly exiled and his research actually destroyed, preventing Hextech and allowing real social change to happen in its place, calling into question both Jayce & Viktor's and the irl endless chase for "progress"). Yes the choices we make are in-part responsible for defining us, but we could be anyone, driven to do anything, if life played out a different way. Look to that better world that hypothetically could've been if only the past went a little differently, and instead of being paralyzed by the injustice of it, move forward fighting for the future that could be. I can't put into words my emotions around that episode, but it really felt meaningful and even radical, compared to a lot of the rest of the season.

[asarigg]

Inside the Character's Mind: Part 1

mentions of physical, psychological and sexual abuse towards both Koujaku and his mother

SELF DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR

Let’s go back to the beginning. Or rather, what Koujaku tells us. He also talks about himself, of course, but usually when he talks about his past, most of the time he talks about his mother: because that’s what hurts him the most. He barely mentions the abuse towards him other than the tattoo and that one time his father punched him. But he always talks about all the hardships that his family put his mother through. And I’m sure you’ll agree with me that it is hard to believe that was it.

Koujaku’s father has proven to be an extremely violent piece of shit and a zero-empathetic person. I don’t doubt that Koujaku’s mother, because of her nature, was his favorite toy. What’s more, he did every cruel thing he could think of to her, his wife too, she had fresh wounds every day and she couldn’t even eat, and although it isn’t said nor implied I wouldn’t be surprised if Koujaku was a product of rape. I mean… most likely. We hardly know anything about his mother, not her appearance, not her name, not what she liked, not how the hell she ended up in that place, if there was any love involved in it or if it was something about debt, we only know that she was the perfect victim.

She was always saying sorry to her son, for everything Koujaku’s been witnessing, she feels guilty and responsible because he tries to stand up for her, and because she has brought him to a world where the one that decides for them is a criminal. She keeps a deep pain inside for everything that’s happening and she tries to hide it, especially from Koujaku, and seeing her son suffer doesn’t help. Smiling to him so he doesn’t worry, and saying sorry to try to comfort him. That’s why the last thing she repeats over and over to her son when she’s lethally wounded is “I’m sorry”, feeling sorry that it’s because of her that he has lived like this, because she wasn’t able to protect him, to give him a proper life.

Obviously all his father did was also psychological abuse towards Koujaku, even blackmailing him with hurting his mother. But I sincerely believe that his father would use physical abuse to teach the boy a lesson, nothing could stop him anyway, because Koujaku as a child complained and rebelled, he didn’t care if his father hit him, he would defend his mother regardless. This is why I sometimes give Koujaku more scars to his body, and besides defensive cuts I also give him cigarette burn marks. Lore expansion better known as adding trauma.

I think he just doesn’t talk about it that much because the abuse towards him isn’t what has hurt him the most. We ourselves often don’t give it much importance if someone tries to insult us, but maybe if it’s someone close to us, that does piss us off, some logic like that. Moreover, throughout the game Koujaku’s personality is just like that, always worrying about others and giving little importance to himself, to the point of being tremendously negative for himself.

Don’t you think those scars would make him look more masculine, intimidating, as if he’s survived dozens of dangerous, tough fights? It seems the perfect image for an environment like organized crime.

Despite all of Koujaku’s feminine traits, the perception of him both in canon and in fandom (usually) is that of a stereotypically masculine, super straight man who fucks a different woman every night, always joking with “no homo, bro” (which, mind you, I’m not saying I don’t like these jokes, I make them myself too). But in reality that couldn't be further from the truth.

With that image that we have of him, sometimes it would seem that he is someone with prejudices or that he really had a hard time accepting that he’s not straight, specially when in the scene where he confesses to Aoba he says the following:

The reasons he tries to hide his feelings is a mix between the fact that they are friends and he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship they already have, that he wants to hide his past and that he doesn’t want to be a burden on Aoba, so he keeps all those things to himself. (And he’s also been educated a certain way and has always seen things one way, never gave it much thought so when it crosses his mind, of course he’s confused)

When he first met Aoba he thought he was a girl because he had really long hair, and after all, when we’re kids we don’t have very developed features anyway, it’s a pretty androgynous state. When Aoba corrects him and tells him he’s a boy his behavior is exactly the same, nothing changes. He corrects himself and never treats him as a girl.

He is someone who has no problem showing his affection for Aoba, neither in private nor in public, he’s very comfortable with his bisexuality, the only one who is reluctant to do so, either out of shame or fear, is Aoba.

What I’m trying to get at with all this is that all that “gentleman” facade and the “always accepting women who want to have something with him” that makes him look so stereotypical in a first impression has a much darker origin, although underneath all that there’s a much more sentimental, vulnerable and open Koujaku about his true feelings, expressing them even if he feels embarrassed, as we see on some occasions (touching his hair nervously when he confesses, of when he explains why Aoba's hair is so important to him).

The relationship he has with his mother is the most direct connection, or course. Being the son of an abused woman has made him hyper-aware of his position as a man (so much that sexism in this game almost goes full circle like the Bourbon family tree, but this is NC’s problem and it happens everywhere, it’s so obvious it’s a writers problem and it’s a shame it affects Koujaku so much because he’s basically the only one who isn’t scared of a bad bitch). We’ll talk about this in particular some more later, but let’s focus on what concerns his father for now.

Being the family of criminals that they are, abusers and… almost slavers, the most logical thing to assume is that they are specially conservative. It could very well be that his father, once he decided to make him his heir, wanted the image of his kid to be as intimidating and masculine as possible. A criminal, a murderer who could run his business in a world like this.

We know that the tattoo is an experiment by Toue, and it wouldn’t be strange if his father knew what was behind it, because after all it would also be beneficial for him to have a way to control him, to mold him to his liking and to make him obedient, unlike he had been behaving, refusing to be his heir and trying to defend his mother. The image of an effeminate, soft, sissy man was not exactly ideal for the future leader. For me, Koujaku’s father either already intended to name him heir before agreeing to the tattoo being an experiment with Toue and Ryuuhou, or he ended up deciding to name him the heir precisely because they had already talked about the tattoo and its possibilities beforehand.

His father would want to break him, drive him to despair so that he would stop resisting, take away his will and, although this is mostly headcanon, “make him a man”. Be a man, be strong, tenacious, learn to fight and find a woman to continue the family with, etc. So it is not surprising that at first he didn’t even reconsider his sexuality and thought that the affection he had for Aoba was just friendship, which over time, with such strong feelings, he realized was not the case. I sincerely love that he is shown to be so nervous and that he confesses to be kinda confused about it and in a state of denial, without having any external reference and too busy hating his father and Ryuuhou to even think about it, it’s normal that it took him so long.

He was trained to be a gangster, while his father insulted him, hit him and threatened him using his mother, on whom he took it out. This training also implies not only fighting but also for doing business, how to talk to be well-received, how to negotiate, how to give the best impression of himself at any given situation. This pack of skills seem to resonate with those that he uses to flirt and run his own business, even if he does it on an unconscious level, he just knows what to say to strike the person he’s talking to in their weak spots. His father’s physical treatment would not only be a punishment, but also to teach him a lesson, to learn to endure the pain, just like he endured the pain of the tattoo. If he cried, it would be shameful, he would be punished. He had to hide his pain, his feelings, his thoughts, for the sake of his mother’s safety and his own. Practically becoming a puppet, thus evolving into the life he carries in Midorijima as an adult.

Him not wanting to open up to Aoba wouldn’t be just an “oh he’s going to hate me”. It’s also what he learned would be the best, having a charismatic appearance that everyone likes. After all wouldn’t it be logical to not want any confrontation with anyone after all that? A tough guy, with people around him who admire him, who never gets tired or cries, because nothing’s wrong. In a way it’s also a shield, a protection, a defense mechanism. To be a man.

Now, the way he behaves that almost everyone without exception associates with his mother. And this, for sure, is the intention, his desire to protect his mother and therefore take care of the women he meets. But it’s also him actively wanting to be the opposite of his father.

What kind of relationship does he have with women? The contact he has with them is mostly through all his female fans, who are crazy to say the least. We’re not going to get much into the subject of sexism but first of all it’s a huge mistake that his fans are only young women or the way they make them all act.

Koujaku spends all his time building a character that he considers perfect, someone gentle, who never says no to a woman and is always available to entertain them, it would never occur to him to deny anything to any of them, as his mother was denied so many things. Unlike that hard and tenacious masculinity that he was taught to have in order to take on his role as the heir or the bestiality of his tattoo, he presents a gentle and chivalrous masculinity on the outside. What he does is pamper them and give them everything they ask for (almost, because has never really had serious relationships. Which makes sense because he would be telling them pretty big lies, right? That wouldn’t fit with his own code). He doesn’t think very highly of himself, he has a low self-esteem as he thinks of himself as nothing better than a worthless monster that should have probably died a long time ago.

Sometimes people who are abused go through abuse again, in a cycle. I think saying that Koujaku is a playboy is incorrect. (He acts flirty and likes playing around, sure, but there’s something deeper). That perception of him is natural, of course, because the way he behaves and how he is presented to you, it is the image they want to give of him after all, in a basic and cliche way, so artificial that it is unsettling. I could believe that it sounds artificial on purpose, referring to that shell of how a confident and strong man should talk, if it weren’t for the fact that they do this kind of cliche and artificial situations quite often with other characters as well, and it makes it kinda hard to remain immersed. I honestly think that the foreshadowing could have been done a little better, but it still serves the narrative. Also this is practically almost all you see of his character the two first interactions he has with Aoba. Considering the structure of the game and how rushed everything is, it’s not very positive, but for the sake of your mental health it's better not to think too much about it.

In short, Koujaku is a very accommodating and attentive person. He listens and encourages others with their problems but doesn’t let anyone worry about him with his own, taking on everything himself. He even ironically tells Aoba that if he’s worried about what happened with Mizuki, he can blame him, and that he can always count on him to tell him anything. It’s a very lonely way to live, even though he has so many people around him.

Knowing this, it’s more than reasonable to think that more than him flirting with women, it’s simply him agreeing to give what those women ask of him. They come looking for something and he gives it to them. He’s a toy. It’s often joked that he’s practically a prostitute, and pretty much that’s what it is. And it’s in the balcony scene where we see a more personal side of him, where we can observe that in reality all this burden tires him, it’s not natural. It’s not like his character isn’t extroverted and charismatic, but that’s not everything, and in public he doesn’t allow himself to be “less”, so in private and in confidence is when he can afford to relax, with Aoba or in his own house.

Somehow, even though he is no longer with his family, the way he interacts with other people, or how he lets himself be used, be it consciously or not, even if there is a different intention behind, is not that different from before, people still use him.

ERHM... SOMETHING

I’ve sometimes wondered if there was some sort of sexual abuse on Ryuuhou’s part towards Koujaku. Nothing is implied canonically, at least physically, but the erotic connotations of the story of the tattoo artist he’s based on, the sadism, and his constant references to love make me think of it happening on a symbolic level.

I think it’s obvious that Ryuuhou loves Koujaku, in his own way, as his creation, and he’s referencing love at first sight and Koujaku’s abuse of Aoba. In a metaphorical way that abuse certainly happened, ever since he was tattooed, his body did not belong to him anymore. There are people who can’t stand the idea of having sex, and others who often seek it out to ease the pain. Ryuuhou made sure to mark his body and mind so that he could never forget him. His tattoos are his shame, his filth and sin. When Aoba touches his tattoos Koujaku practically jumps at contact.

[endlessburningdarkness]

**I headcanon their relationship falls apart anyway, even without a reveal, bc there's only so long Shen Yuan can lie to himself and put up with terrible sex and LBHs manchild behaviour. I imagine he logs out at some point and returns to his real life.**

Can you develop more this, please? =)

Through most of the story, Shen Yuan is going from one crisis to another. He doesn't have time to sit down and think and be honest with himself. After the story ends, and he has to think beyond just surviving I imagine he will eventually realize he wants more than a relationship built on a lie, and terrible sex and the life of a cultivator.

I imagine he'll crave modern things more and more, not to mention, finally remembering his family and the life he left behind, the life he could've had, where he doesn't have to get his arse ripped open bc the protagonist will cry and destroy the world if he doesn't feel sufficiently "loved". Isn't it telling that both LBH and SY's idea of love requires sex, which one of them doesn't enjoy?

I also imagine he won't be able to deny how manipulative and coercive LBH is, and LBHs appeal as a character (and he does still consider LBH a character even in the end, its why he insists on bottoming, bc the stallion protagonist couldn't possibly take it up the arse) will dwindle and fade away.

It's like how you like badboys in fiction, but if you really had to deal with one irl day in and day out for years on end, you'd say fuck it and pack your bags. If the story book world is now real, that means real human emotions and realistic reactions to things, and I can't see Shen Yuan, realistically, wanting to stay.

So he would find an out, either by killing himself or just logging out and going back home. I don't think LBH would let him leave, and he knows that. It's why he feels so pressured to keep LBH happy and content and sees it as his responsibility, bc an unhappy LBH = world ending. Eventually though, he'd get over that idea, once he has time to pause and think things through and sort out his feelings and get used to his new, disappointing life.

Maybe Shen Yuan becomes the new protagonist, and lives out his dream of being LBH. bc that's the real reason he was reading th original novel, it was a male power fantasy, and Shen Yuan bought into that. He wants the power fantasy and he'll ultimately have to confront his own unhappiness and disappointment within himself. There's only so long you can lie to yourself. Shen Yuan lies to himself in order to survive, but once survival is secured, he will have ample time to realize he's been lying to himself, and that he doesn't want to continue.

And maybe some things are worse than death. I can't imagine years of lying and being coerced into a relationship with painful and humiliating sex is gonna feel any different from torture via human stick a few years down the line.

Him logging out and continuing with his normal life is probably the funniest outcome. I can see him writing fanfiction of Shen Qingqiu becoming a demon lord and fucking LBH/women as a sort of therapeutic exercise to deal with his trauma in the real world afterwards.

Honestly, I think he'd be relived to escape and probably give up his online hating. Which is ultimately the message mxtx wanted to send by writing a story about a straight online troll ending up getting fucked in the arse so badly he bleeds every time. don't hate in front of the author's face, aka the comment section, which is what Shen Yuan was shamelessly doing, harassing the author so much the author remembers all his comments. It would be a nice ending to say he learned his lesson?

But i also don't think an online hater deserves what Shen Yuan is put through in the story as "punishment" for his bad behaviour. It's not that serious imo. Good thing its a fantasy story and doesn't take itself too seriously. It would be a lot more depressing then, and not nearly as funny.

I may have gone a little offtopic. Oh well.