#(man i kind of wanted to add text to this video)

[seungfl0wer]

*𝑶𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝑴𝒆*

Pairing: Jeongin x Reader (Fem)

Genre: Smut (Short One Shot)

Warnings: Corruption, Virgin!Jeongin, Oral(Both), Multiple: Rounds, Orgasms, Creampies, Unprotected sex, Slight degrading, public, hair pulling, I think that’s all? Sorry for any mistakes or missing warnings!

A/N: This is my first time attempt at a corruption kink so I hope I did it justice! This came out way longer than I anticipated and I wrote it over two days so I’m sorry if it’s kinda weird? Idk man lol. I hope you enjoy it!

Find Request Here

-🖤

Jeongin was known as the shy guy in class. You had never seen him talking to anymore, he always just kept his head in his books. You always wondered to yourself if he lived a double life or something because he was way too handsome to be this anti social kinda guy. As class went on you had to pick partners for a project so you made the choice to ask him to your partner.

When you walked up to him his eyes blinked at you in almost confusion. “Jeongin wanna be my partner?” You asked with a smile.

His eyes blinked quickly then down at his desk to avoid your gaze “I- uhm- s-sure” he managed to stutter out.

“Awesome! Here’s my number! Let’s meet up and talk about the project later yeah?” You smiled writing down your number on his paper. You flashed him that sweet smile one last time before walking back to your seat.

Jeongin breathed out like he was holding his breath. His face beat red not knowing what just happened. You were one of the most beautiful people to him. You were smart, kind and just stunning. He thought the world was just playing some jokes on him to have you come over to him. As he stared down at your number he felt a lump in his throat swallowing hard, he got his phone out putting your number in.

Jeongin: Are you positive you wanna be my partner?

He texted feeling regret after sending it. You smiled to yourself seeing it pop up.

You: Duh, you wanna meet at the library later? How’s 5 sound?

Jeongin: Sounds good.

Jeongin was screaming inside, he was so nervous. He’s never really talked to many girls only ever having one relationship ever when he was a teenager. He’s only ever had one singular peck on the lips so having you want to be his partner kinda made him feel proud almost.

When 5 came you were sitting in the corner of the library, the collage had comfy sides so you could relax and work. You sat on a beanbag chair almost curled up just waiting for him to come. When you saw him walk in you smiled waving him over to where you were sitting. His eyes didn’t meet your gaze looking everywhere else but you.

“Hey! You ready to start” you asked.

“Y-yeah uhm so what uhm did you want to do it on?” He asked back.

“Well from the topics why don’t we do it on gaming soundtracks?” You said looking at your paper.

The class you both were in was music production. Funny enough you both were in a lot of the same classes because you both were looking for a future in some sort of music field.

His head perked up at the thought of it. “Wait you wanna do video game stuff?” He asked almost dumbfounded.

“Yeah! I think it would be fun, I actually enjoy gaming a lot” you said with that oh so sweet smile.

He felt his heart do flips, he started asking about your favorite games, what console you used etc. You’ve never seen him so excited or talk so much for that matter. You happily answered all his questions each one making his heart just melt even more. I guess he can add gamer to the list of things he found attractive about you.

As you both started to talk about the project you moved closer to him. Your leg brushing against his. He felt a jolt go up his back his body stiffening. You were so close to him he could smell your perfume. “Hey, the library is gonna be closing soon you wanna come back to my apartment and keep working? I can order us some food.” You said before getting an excited “I can show you my gaming set up!” You said with a bright smile. He nodded feeling a bit excited as well to see your set up.

You got back to your place throwing your stuff down at the coffee table. “Make yourself at home” you said. Your apartment was small but it was cozy, it was a little messy with papers cluttering places. “Sorry for the mess” you said feeling a bit embarrassed. “Oh oh!” You said taking jeongin hand “let me show you my set up!” You said dragging him down the hall to your bedroom. His eyes widened as he walked in feeling like he shouldn’t be in here.

His attention was on your set up now though “No way! It looks awesome!” He said with a wide smile. He started geeking out over your equipment and how nice your color scheme was. You both almost completely forgot about doing the project sitting at your desk and just talking about gaming.

“You wanna test it?” You asked moving from the chair.

“Definitely” he said with a smile.

You pulled up all your games letting him pick whatever. When he started to struggle a bit with the controls you moved him a bit sitting on his lap. “Here let me change them for you so it easier” you said. His mind was blank. Every thought he might have had gone. Here you were sitting on his lap like it was nothing. He felt a breath get caught in his throat his hands not knowing where to sit.

You really didn’t do it for any other reason to help him until you felt his cock starting to poke at you. You smirked to yourself ‘this would be fun’. You moved your ass back against him a bit testing his reaction. He bit his lip feeling a groan dare to escape. This sweet innocent man didn’t know what to do. He had his eyes shut tightly hands gripping at the arm rest. Oh was it so hot to know how you were driving him crazy without even doing anything. In that moment you knew you wanted to corrupt him. To make him only be able to think of you. To only have one thought behind those beautiful eyes, you.

“Jeongin’ie are you alright?” You asked in a sickeningly sweet tone.

“Mhm” he said not being able to get anything else out.

You bit your lip moving your ass more against his now fully hard cock. You could feel his body twitching under you. He didn’t want you to move away but he didn’t think he’d be able to stop himself from cumming in his pants either. You turned your head only to be graced with the sight of him. His face was red, eyes glazed over his lip a bit swollen from him biting on it. “I can help you with that you know” you said with a grin.

His eyes just blinked at you not knowing how to reply. “Want me to make you feel good Innie?” You asked. He only nodded a little making you tilt your head. “Tell me, use your words” you said.

“I- please m-make me feel g-good” he stuttered out.

“Such a good boy” you said before moving off of him. You knelt down between his thighs pulling down his pants and boxers slightly enough to let his cock spring out. His fists were gripping the chair hard, eyes closed tightly shut.

You took his cock in your hand making him let out a soft moan at the contact. You smiled before licking up his cock rewarding you with another sweet moan. “Look at me innie” you said. His eyes slowly opening, the sight he had made his cock twitch in your grasp. While he still had his eyes on you, you quickly took him in your mouth. Slowly moving yourself over him eyes glued to his. He let out such a desperate moan as he watched you. You bobbed your head trying to keep a slower pace, your tongue swirling around his length.

“Ah- y-y/n” he moaned. His hands came up to grip your head however they just hovered over it. Scared to do something that would make you stop.

“Innie do what you feel comfortable doing” you said before reaching yourself to him.

His hands found their way to your head softly holding onto it like he’d brake you or something. He bucked his hips up into your mouth eyes fluttering at the feeling. “C-can’t I’m-“ he whined bucking his hips one more time before cumming hard back your throat. A long guttural moan left his lips as his body shook. You pulled away licking your lips eyes still glued to him.

“Didn’t think a sweet guy like you would fuck my face so well” you said with a smirk.

He was panting trying to catch his breath, when he looked down at you again his cock twitched. Your lips were swollen, eyes a bit teary and glassed over. When you stood up he watched you intently “wait- what uhm what about you?” He asked softly.

“What about me?” You said.

“I- uhm- do you want me to- h-help you?” He stuttered out.

“You wanna help me hm?” You smirked.

He nodded his eyes looking like a puppy trying to beg. “Alright come here” you said bringing him to your bed. You laid down pulling your pants down with your panties. Jeongins mouth dropped at the sight of you. He’s only ever seen a naked women through online videos it was even more jaw dropping that it was you who he was looking at. You gave him a small lesson on where to touch a girl and where it’ll make her feel good. He nodded taking in all your words like it was a class.

When he kneeled down between your legs looking up at you he felt his legs shake. He slowly leaned into you licking slowly up your folds as a test. Your words swirled in his head of what to do and as the good student he was he listened. He took your clit in his mouth sucking softly when he heard you moan he groaned back. You could see he was moving his hips against the bed trying to create some friction for himself. “Gonna be a good boy and make me cum innie?” You said with a sweet honey voice.

There it was that word again ‘good boy’ it was making his head all foggy. He wanted to be your good boy wanted to make you feel as good as you made him feel. He brought his long pretty hand up to your cunt slowly pushing a finger into you. The warmth that engulfed him made his cock somehow even harder. The taste of you was driving him even crazier. He lapped at your cunt like some dog pushing his fingers in and out of you. “Just like that, you’re doing so well- ah-“ you moaned out.

His eyes rolled back it was like some light bulb went off in his head he started to move his fingers faster curling them inside you. His lips sucked and nibbled at your nub. He wasn’t ready for what was about to happen though, your legs clamping around his head as loud moans left your mouth. “Shit- innie- I’m- fuck- cumming!” You moaned grabbing onto his hair moving your hips against his mouth as you chased your high.

You moaned out tasting every thing you gave him, he licked you clean. He moaned out loudly only to be muffled by your thighs. He bucked his hips again cumming in his pants. He looked up at you with those same almost puppy eyes, you smiled at him “you did good innie, such a good boy” you said pulling him up to you. You kissed his forehead softly holding him tightly to you.

—

The next couple days were a bit busy for the both of you only seeing one another in class while exams were going on. You two sat back in the back in class going over your project. Your hand resting on his thigh. A grin grew across your face feeling his cock already getting hard. You looked around knowing no one was even paying attention. Your hand brushed over his cock making him jump. You leaned into him a little before whispering into his ear “you’ve been working so hard, let me make you feel good hmm? Just gotta be a good boy and stay quiet, can you do that for me?” You asked.

He nodded, your hand dipped into his sweats slowly stroking him. He gripped onto the desk hard knuckles turning white. You kept your eyes on the paper asking him questions about it. He tried his best to answer it all coming out as a mumbled mess. Your fingers pressed against his tip hand speeding up. You could feel his cock twitch in your hand knowing he was already so close. “Tell me when you’re close hm?” You said softly. He nodded once more biting his lip harder.

Your hand gripped around him moving up and down faster than slower paying extra attention to his leaking tip. “Y/n-“ he said softly hand coming down to your wrist. You looked around once more before leaning your head down. His eyes went wide when he felt your mouth around his cock. Hand came to the back of your head pushing you the whole way down his length. His cum shot back your throat, you could feel his legs shaking from his orgasm.

When you finally pulled away licking your lips you smiled at his dazed over eyes. “Such a good boy, you did so so well” you said. He smiled at your words leaning into you more. He wanted nothing more than to cuddle up against you like last time.

Another day went by when you got a surprising text from him.

Him: Y/n are you busy?

You: No why what’s up?

Him: I uhm can you help me?

You: were you at?

Him: In the bathroom by room 235

You didn’t text back already on your way down to him. You smirked to yourself that he was reaching out for help. When you opened the door to the bathroom you softly said his name. He peaked out from one of the stalls his eyes looking at you like some sad animal. You quickly made your way to him you could already see how hard he was. “What’s wrong innie” you asked.

“I- I couldn’t stop thinking about the other day- please I-“ he whimpered out.

“What do you want me to do for you?” You asked.

He fiddled with his shirt not looking at you “come on baby, be a good boy and use your words” you said.

“Please I can’t cum with out you-“ he choked out. “Help me- I-“

You would have made him beg more but he looked utterly pathetic already. “Ok baby I got you, let me take care of you yeah?” You said getting down on your knees. You unzipped his pants pulling them down with his boxers. He was so hard it looked like it hurt. You wasted no time wrapping your mouth around him. You swirled your tongue around his cock looking up at how wrecked he already was. You pulled away pumping him with your hand “my sweet boy has become so dirty hasn’t he?”

He shook his head “I’m- I’m not-“ you whinnied out.

“No? So you didn’t text me to come suck you off in the bathroom?”

“I- m’sorry” he whinnied more.

“Such a dirty little boy hmm? Can’t get off by yourself anymore need to- to fuck my mouth just to get off?”

He whimpered “y-yes” he said truthfully.

“Then use my mouth to get yourself off” you said wrapping your mouth back around him but not moving.

He looked down at you eyes filled with tears he grabbed at your head pushing his cock back your throat. “Y/n” he whimpered out I’m already so close” he said head falling back. He pushed in your mouth a few more times his grip holding you in place. He was fucking your mouth like a flesh light. “C-cumming!” He moaned out a familiar warm liquid shooting back your throat. When he pulled out his eyes were glued to you. “Y/n I- wanna make you feel good again please- I need to- to- t-taste you again” he begged.

“Innie wants to eat me out hmm? How bad baby tell me how much you want too” you said.

“So bad, so fucking bad please- please I’ll make you cum like a good boy” he whinnied.

“Mm such a dirty mouth you’ve gotten, let’s put it to use yeah?”

He smiled he pulled your pants and panties down hosting you up against the stall. You were taken back by his surprising strength he had. He wasted no time diving straight into you. He lapped at your folds his tongue darting into your wet cunt, His nose rubbing against your clit. You grabbed onto his hair for some stability only making him moan into your cunt. “You like when I use your face hm? I bet you like it when I pull your hair too- such a dirty boy. You’ve become such a little whore” you said dripping at his hair harder.

His mind went blank his cock twitching already so hard again. He ate you out like a starved man. Nipping at your clit before somehow letting one of his arms go. He pushed his fingers deep into you curling them perfectly. “J-just wanna make you feel good” he said. “Wanna be- be your good boy” he continued. He sucked harsher at your clit your walls tightening around his fingers.

“Shit- innie-“ you moaned out “don’t stop- fuck I’m gonna cum!” You said. He listened, he didn’t stop he in fact took a mental note of what he was doing. When you finally came you came hard against his lips body shaking against the stall wall. To your surprise he came with you, untouched for his second orgasm. He let you down stumbling back a bit. His legs felt weak his body shaking. You wrapped your arms around him kissing his cheek softly “you did so well you know that? You’re such a good boy innie” You said. Making him relax a bit. He cuddled up to you holding tightly like you would run if he didn’t.

—

Today was the day to present your project, both of you were super nervous. However it went over really well. The teacher was really impressed even more so as he listened to jeongin talk. He was happy to see him out of his shell more than ever.

When you both got the grade back smiling wide at the big A+ you got, you hugged him tightly. He was taken back a bit, you were hugging him so openly he was just surprised you didn’t care that people saw. “Innie how about we celebrate today! I’ll order something and we can celebrate at my place yeah?” You said excitedly. Of course he nodded feeling excited too. He was just happy to see you so happy.

—

When jeongin knocked on your door he was greeted with you in an oversized shirt with nothing else on. His jaw dropped at the sight of you. You hugged him again pulling him into the apartment. “I’m so proud of you!” You said. “You talked so well in-front of everyone!”

“It was- easier.. you know having you up there with me” he said shyly.

Your heart melted at his words “yeah? Well innie I got a special surprise for you!” You said pulling him into your room. There was a box sitting on the bed with his name on it. “Just a little something to tell you I’m proud of you, it was actually gonna be a birthday present but- I think you deserve it now.” You said excitedly. When he unwrapped it he almost cried, it was a new headset he showed you before. There was also another small box in it. When he pulled it out he felt his chest tighten. It was a small necklace with the first letter of your name on it.

When he looked up at you he could see a small blush peppering your face. He felt all shy again like the women of his dream didn’t just basically ask him to be hers. He smiled putting it on right away before coming to hug you. In the moment he didn’t even realize before he pressed his lips to yours. He kissed you lovingly his heart pounding in his chest.

The kiss caught you by surprise but you couldn’t help but feel yourself melting at his touch. You moved yourself walking backwards to find the bed. You kissed him one last time before pushing him to the bed. It didn’t take long for you to be onto of him again lips pressed against one another. The kiss was more hungry this time more desperate. You grinned your hips into his already hardened cock making you both moan into the kiss. You quickly pulled away ridding yourself of your shirt. His eyes went big never seeing you fully naked before. His hands quickly grabbed ahold of your chest. He rolled his hips to meet your movements making you both moan in unison.

“Innie take your pants off for me?” You asked. He quickly did so pulling them down fast. You rolled your hips against him once more his cock pressing against your cunt. You yourself couldn’t take it anymore you needed to feel him inside you. You moved your body back holding onto the shaft of his cock before slowly sinking yourself down. It almost looked like his soul was pulled from him his breathing almost stopping. The warmth of your walls was too much for him.

“You ok if I move baby?” You asked softly.

“Y-yes” he mustered up.

You moved your hips sinking down fully into him. His hands gripped at your thighs digging in harshly. Your walls were clenching so tightly around him, the sight before him was not helping his situation. He watched as your perfect breast bounced with every movement. Your face contorting in pleasure and the sweet moans that left your lips. Oh man was he a goner. “Y/n! Stop I’m gonna cum!” You almost screamed out. But you didn’t care you kept moving, faster even.

You felt his cock twitch inside you cumming deep into you. His hot cum coating every part of your insides. You didn’t even notice your own orgasm creeping up on you until you were cumming from the sensation.

There was a moment of you both breathing until you felt yourself being hoisted up and pushed back down on the bed. “I- fuck- y/n I’m sorry- please I-“ he whimpered out. His cock already rock hard again. He pushed into you once more this time moving fast. He felt the warm cum around him letting him slide in and out with ease. “T’good- can’t- can’t stop- m’sorry” he groaned. He was fucking you as if he’d done it a million times. His pace perfect hitting all your sweet spot.

“Ah- innie- you’re such a dirty boy- ah- ah- fucking me again without even asking” you teased.

“M’sorry-“ he whimpered.

“I feel that good hm?” You said.

“Fuck- yes- feel good- s’good- can- can I cum inside again? Please please I’ll be good and make you cum again too” he begged.

“Be a good boy and make me cum first” you said.

He was on a mission after that his hand coming down to play with your clit. It really backfired on him though as your cunt clenched around him so tightly. “Fuck- fuck” he moaned out before he realized he was cumming again.

“M’sorry- m’so sorry” he cried out his head coming to rest in the crook of your neck. Even after cumming twice he was still so damn hard. He rocked his hips into you so overstimulated but he needed to make you cum.

He gripped at your thighs pushing them up, he fucked into you harder pushing his cock to the hilt. “Jeongin! Your- fuck your so deep!” You moaned out.

“Your- your not mad at me for cuming again?” He asked.

“It’s ok baby, fuck- you’re still my good boy” you said softly against his ear.

He moved back looking down at you “n-no not a good boy till- till I make you cum-“ his hand came down to play with your clit once more fucking into you like he almost hated you. His movements were sloppy but rough. You felt your high at its braking point watching as he fucked into you until the necklace caught your eye. Fuck- seeing the necklace knowing he was fully yours pushed you over the edge. You came hard around his cock pulling him down to kiss you as you swallowed each others moans. He came for a third time his body shaking like crazy against yours.

As you both calmed down a bit you kissed him softly “did such a good job- always be my good boy” you said softly.

“Your good boy” he said just as softly.

“Yes, you’re my. Good boy.” You said with a smile “if that’s ok with you? To be mine?” You asked.

“Like- like your boyfriend?” He said looking up at you with puppy eyes.

“Yes, silly” you smiled.

“of course! Yes yes! I’d love to be!” He said happily.

“Then it’s settled. You’re all mine. And you know what that means?” You asked.

“What?” He said.

“I’m all yours too!” You said making him smile even more. He kissed you softly cuddling up into you. “All mine” he said in almost a whisper before slowly falling asleep.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵

Taglist: @satosugu4l @do-you-remember-summer-127 @xines16 @minh0scat @troublemaker02 @tr-mha-fan @lunearta @velvetmoonlght @minghaosimp @ldysmfrst @felixleftchickennugget

[anothermansjeans]

Heyy Idk if this is how you request but we'll see......

Could you maybe do like a singer!reader who writes like dirty af songs abt Spencer and then Penelope shows the song to the rest of the team and they all start low-key bullying him and continue making comments abt it while on a case or something like that??

<33

XOXO-

~W~

okay i don't know any DIRTY DIRTY songs so i apologize if this isn't that great 😭 let me know if you want another one that shows different songs! ALSO I IMAGINE THE READER SINGING A DIFFERENT OUTRO TO NONSENSE EVERY NIGHT JUST LIKE MS SABRINA CARPENTER

cw: implied sex, reader talks sings about getting head and being handcuffed

wc: 610

masterlist

++

“Oh, hey pretty boy.”

Spencer walked into the bullpen to see the majority of the team huddled around Derek’s desk with amused looks on their faces. He tentatively continued his walk, but immediately froze in place when he heard the video playing from the computer.

“This song’s catchier than chickenpox is.

I bet your house is where my other sock is.

Woke up this morning, thought I’d write a pop hit.

How quickly can you take your clothes off, pop quiz?

My man’s IQ is one-eighty-seven.

When he’s going down on me I’m in Heaven.

Handcuff me to the bed like I’m a felon.”

Her laughs could be heard from the video, and Spencer’s face immediately turned fifty shades of red.

“So, where were you last night, Reid? You know, when you said you couldn't join us for drinks.”

He rolled his lips into his mouth at Emily’s question. Everyone had an expecting look except for Penelope… She seemed guilty. “I uh, I was at a concert…”

“What concert?” JJ’s question was presented as innocent, but it was everything but that.

“My girlfriend’s,” he mumbled lowly, barely loud enough for them to hear.

“Could you repeat that?”

Spencer glared at Derek, he knew exactly what he was doing. “My girlfriend’s.”

“Well hot damn, you finally admitted it!”

“I wasn't keeping it a secret. I'm just not as open about my love life as the rest of you are.” He huffed and brought himself over to his desk.

“Well, Garcia was kind enough to show us a video she found online and we didn't know what to expect… who else has an IQ of one-eighty-seven?”

Spencer whipped his head over to Penelope with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry!” Her hands went up in her defense. “I just– I love her music and I couldn't make it to the concert in D.C last night so I was watching videos that people took and it doesn't take a genius to know who she's talking about when we know you so well.” Her words were quick, and she was huffing to breathe when she finished her sentence.

Spencer groaned and put his head in his hands.

“I think my favorite song of hers is Nasty.”

Spencer winced at Emily’s words as everyone else laughed. They definitely are going to have a field day with him.

“I love Espresso.” The humor in JJ’s voice was evident.

“So It Goes… and Guilty as Sin? might be the top contenders for me,” and Derek just has to add on. “Tell us, Reid, are scratches down your back?”

Spencer stood up and went towards the coffee machine, ignoring the laughs and references they were making. He was allowed about three minutes of solace before Penelope hesitantly tapped his shoulder with a shy look on her face. “We got a case. Everyone’s at the round table.” He gave a nod at her words and followed her, ears perking up when he heard her singing under her breath, “don't want to wait on it. Tonight, I wanna get nasty.”

He suppressed the groan waiting to come out, and sat down at the table when he felt a buzz in his pocket.

Y/N: made it to philly!! love you, be safe today. text me whenever you're free 🫶

He was about to message back before Hotch walked in, “We’re going to brief as quickly as possible. We're headed to Philadelphia.”

He knew Penelope knew the next stop on Y/N’s tour, and could feel her eyes boring into the side of his face. He was mentally preparing for the jokes as soon as they stepped out of the conference room.

++

songs that i imagined reader wrote about spencer:

nonsense by sabrina carpenter

nasty by ariana grande

espresso by sabrina carpenter

so it goes... by taylor swift

guilty as sin? by taylor swift

dress by taylor swift

[soursturniolo]

Send Me Your Location

Pairing - Matt Sturniolo/Reader

Summary: A girls night out goes south, and your boyfriend comes to your rescue.

Tags: angst while reader is alone, a creepy man being creepy (this doesn’t last long), Matt being a good bf, Nick and Chris being good bros, fluffy fluff at the end

TW: unwanted touching - (creepy man touches readers waist), unwanted attention

Word Count: written on my phone so I’m not sure

You found yourself outside, shivering from the cool breeze in downtown LA. You had been invited to club with by some friends, and decided to go pretty last minute. Matt hadn’t been able to come due to needing to film with his brothers.

So now, here you were, standing outside the club staring down at your phone, finger hovering over the call button near Matt’s contact. Matt always told you to call if you ever needed anything. You were still worried you’d upset him, knowing if you called now the boys were probably in the middle of a video. But it was dark and uncharacteristically chilly for LA tonight, and you were now alone after your friends insisted on moving to a club that you knew had a bad reputation and didn’t feel comfortable going to. Every Uber and Lyft had at least a two hour wait, and you were getting more scared and uncomfortable by the minute.

Sighing to yourself, hoping it wouldn’t upset Matt or his brothers too much, you decided to give your boyfriend a call.

It rang twice before he answered, and you smiled as you heard him yell at his brothers to shut up before he said anything to you.

“Hey, baby. How’s girls night going?” He asked, voice quiet but sounding happy.

You grimaced at the question before answering.

“Hi Matt, not so well. The girls wanted to go to another club but I didn’t feel comfortable going and now I’m kinda stranded,” you told him, voice soft and a bit shaky. It was scary being in this part of LA by yourself at night.

“They just left you?” Matt asked, sounding shocked as you heard the sound of his key turning in the ignition of his car and it come on.

“Yeah, I tried to get an Uber but they’re all over a two hour wait, so I was wondering if maybe you’d have time to-“ before you can even finish asking Matt is answering.

“Text me your location, baby, we’re on the way now,” he tells you as you also hear him talking to his now, very confused brothers.

“What is going on? Is she okay?” You hear Nick ask, sounding so worried. Chris speaks up and offers to take the phone so Matt can focus more on driving. You hear some rustling as you move to send your location to him, so you assume Matt took him up on the offer.

“I just shared my location with you,” you tell him.

“Chris, map us there,” Matt says.

“Already doing it. We are 15 minutes away,” Chris tells you both.

“We’re coming, babe. Just try to stay in a well lit area and stay on the phone with us,” Matt tells you, voice soft but serious.

“Okay, I’m sorry for interrupting you guys, I know you were probably trying to film,” you apologize, feeling bad for stopping them. Instantly your met with multiple assurances that there’s no need to be sorry.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s completely okay,” Chris tells you.

“Your safety matters more than us concluding a silly video,” Nick adds in.

“Baby, never apologize for calling me when you need me. There’s nothing to be sorry for in this situation,” Matt speaks up at the end, sweet and kind.

You stay on the phone talking to Matt and his brothers, their voices keeping you calm as they tell you about their day and ask about yours. Suddenly you feel a hand on your waist, making you jump and gasp.

“Baby?” Matt asks, voice worried through the phone as his brothers also call out to you.

“Hey sweet thing,” the creepy guy leers at you, eyeing you up and down in a way that makes your skin crawl. You take a couple steps back, making the creeps hand fall off you and your hand grips your phone a little tighter.

“Don’t touch me,” you tell the man. The boys all call to you again urgently, sounding more worried after hearing what you just said. You also hear Matt’s car accelerate in the background, meaning he was driving to you faster. Faster meant sooner, and sooner was good as you now felt paralyzed in fear as the man kept looking at you.

The man steps closer as you step back, continuing to follow you until your back is pressed against the cool brick of the club building. You’re shaking in fear as this man continues to approach you.

Suddenly, Matt’s black SUV rolls up quickly, jerking to a stop on the street. After throwing the car in park, you see Matt jump out of the drivers side, jogging over to you, making you sigh in relief.

“Matt!” You call out to him, so happy to see him. The creep turns around to face your boyfriend. Matt’s jaw is clenched in anger as he assesses the situation, his fears confirmed as he sees the situation he was coming up on.

“She’s not interested, fuck off,” Matt tells him gruffly, reaching out to grasp your hand and pull you away from the man who had been bothering you. You allowed yourself to be pulled away from your position against the wall. Matt moved you to stand behind him, shielding you from the man and his creepy gaze.

“You wanna go?” The creep asks angrily, trying to step up to your boyfriend but stumbling a bit.

You all hear two windows roll down from Matt’s car. Unbeknownst to you, they had already been cracked so Matt’s brothers could watch and hear what was going on.

“I don’t think you’d want to do that man. You mess with him, you mess with us too,” Nick calls out from the backseat. Chris just nods and raises an eyebrow at the man. Matt just smirks at the dumbfounded look on the creeps face.

The creep grumbles and stumbles away, shaking his head. You wrap your arms around Matt, hugging yourself to him tightly. His arms wrap around you as he releases a sigh, and you feel him press his lips to your head.

“Did he hurt you?” Matt asks you, concerned.

You shake your head, “No, just scared me mostly. He put his hand on my waist but I backed away so he’d stop,” you tell him in a whisper.

“I’m so sorry baby,” he tells you, kissing your head again. He held you for a moment before he began to gently lead you over to his car. While you both had been hugging, Chris had moved to the backseat with Nick so you could sit up front with your boyfriend.

Matt opens the passenger door for you and you get in. Before you can reach for it, he’s grabbing the seatbelt for you and buckling it for you, making you smile. He gently shuts your door and jogs around the car to his side, getting in and buckling up. As he adjusts and moves to put the car in drive, you turn to meet the gaze of his two brothers who look equally relieved to see you but still concerned.

“I’m okay, guys,” you assure them with a small smile.

They nod and return the smile.

As Matt pulls away from the club, one hand remains on the wheel as his other comes over to hold your hand. While your boyfriend isn’t always one for public displays of affection, he never was shy about holding your hand, and tonight you welcomed the comfort his hand in yours brought.

“Can you stay over at our place tonight? I’d feel better,” Matt asks you softly. You smile and nod, glad that he asked.

The ride home was quick and quiet, Matt’s brothers were on their phone. Chris played some songs that he knew you liked at a low volume. Once arriving to their place, you gave Nick and Chris a big hug before letting Matt lead you to his room.

“Come here, I just wanna hold you for a minute,” he whispers to you after he shuts his bedroom door. His room is cozy, dimly lit by the lights on his bedside tables. It’s warm and safe. Just like Matt. He pulls you into his arms, gently rocking you back and forth with your head resting near his collarbone.

“Thank you for getting me,” you whisper to him, before leaving a soft kiss on his jaw.

“You don’t have to thank me, baby. you can call me, day or night, no matter what I’m doing. I’ll drop it for you if you need me,” he tells you as he brushes a piece of your hair behind your ear.

You lean up and give him a gentle peck on the lips, and he kisses back just as softly. After you both reluctantly part, Matt walks over to his dresser. He grabs out a pair of sweats and a T-shirt for you to wear to bed. You thank him with a smile and you get changed while he also changes into a pair of flannel pj pants, opting out of wearing a shirt.

You sit down on his bed and watch as he takes off his chain and the couple rings he had worn that day. He surprises you when he turns around and walks over with a package in his hand.

Makeup removing wipes, the specific brand and scent you buy too. He’s always surprising you with his thoughtfulness.

“Here, let me get your makeup off baby,” he says as he comes to sit next to you. You smile as he begins to wipe your makeup off. He’s so gentle and thorough, his eyebrows creasing a little in the middle with focus. In a few moments he’s done, throwing away the used wipes in a nearby trash can and tossing the pack to land over on his desk.

You both pull the covers back and climb into his bed, you move to lay on your side as Matt rests behind you on his side as well. His arms snake their way around your waist, hand going under your shirt to rest on your bare tummy as he soothingly rubs the skin there. Your legs tangle together under the sheets and you feel a kiss pressed against the side of your head.

“Love you, baby,” Matt whispers to you, voice getting deeper as he gets sleepy.

“Love you too, Matty,” you whisper back, drifting off to sleep in the safety and comfort of his arms.

[katyahina]

Romina, Scarlet Rot and God of Rot interpretation? What is the Abyss and what 'stagnation' has to do with Scarlet Rot?

(This is a reply for an ask I've got on my other blog) Anon I am sorry I am THIS late, I swear it was just me deliberately avoiding progressing in the DLC because I didn't want it to end + bad timing :pensive: But thank you for leaving this ask because I did want to discuss her as soon as I've met her!

What Happened:

She WAS a victim on Messmer's tyranny, and shown in the second trailer ( x )! Moreover, she originally appears to be from Belurat; not only this trailer shows Messmer specifically burning it, but also this is the exact previous scene before Romina appears:

So I am getting an impression that originally, these buds appeared in Belurat, and somehow Romina knew to relocate them somewhere else:

+ Also, if anyone here can read Japanese please let me know because I've heard that a more accurate translation would be 'she found a divinity and clung to it' or something alike! Here is the Japanese text:

全てを焼かれた教会で ロミナは異形の神性を見出し 禍々しい、朱い腐敗に縋った

焼け跡に、また蕾が芽吹くように

Abyss and Stagnation in this:

My initial interpretation was that originally, this type of buds was growing IN Belurat, and then what she saved got relocated in Rauh Ruins, but "within the scorched remains" part makes it sound as though their fate was being decided right in the moment of the tragedy! So, somehow, what later became Scarlet Rot appeared within the ruin! After all, Formless Mother is another precedent of a god originating from the tragedy:

But why would a plant-insectoid life sprout within the fire? So, basically, I'll dive into headcanons territory for this post, but hear me out! We are not sure what the 'Abyss' is, however.. what IF, when Messmer gets a bit TOO into using his powers, the power of Abyssal Serpent is capable of opening sort of a 'gateway' into somewhere else, and some kind of horror might escape that 'Abyss'?

+ I need to add that Abyss of the serpent plaguing Messmer and Abyss of the woods tormented by Frenzy are different things though; whereas serpent's Abyss is 深淵 meaning literally an abyss, Woods' Abyss is 奈落 that means Naraka (Hindu Hell)! His serpent is AKTUALY named Base Serpent, but he refers the 'Abyss' in his Stage 2 transition: '光無き、深淵の蛇が'. ( x ) In fact, his dialogue in both English and Japanese original suggests the 'Abyss' is a PLACE, where Base Serpent comes from! The mysterious space without light!

Look I can't help using this meme just deal with it fdsgfdgs So, let's say that Messmer got so unhinged that the gravity of his powers still opened up the Abyss a little, even despite the seal Marika gave to him!

The next interesting thing is that there are no traces of Scarlet Rot in Belurat, despite Romina presumably releasing/creaing it right on that spot! There ARE poisoned swamp, the illness that turns people into fly-men, and even giant Spider Scorpions that are a variant specifically developed because of Romina:

+ they likewise deal regular poison, not Scarlet Rot! Some of them developed the wings as well:

So it is more likely that what Romina allowed to live (to the worse or to the better you decide) was not yet the Scarlet Rot itself, however it developed INTO it later, together with her. But what was freed that day and what left its traces in Belurat, as well as spreading across more of the Shadow Realm with at least two villages full of man-fly sickness, was 'stagnation'!

It is a concept commonly addressed across other Fromsoft's games, specifically the stagnation of water 穢れ (kegare)! Poison and Scarlet Rot are connected through themes of poison AND stagnation of water! It is what becomes a poisonous swamp, one of the most Rot places is literally named Stillwater Cave and all that. Scarlet Rot is a 'stronger' version of the venom that becomes of stagnation!

^ (looking through this ( x ) model view video) Additionally, Romina features not only part of the scorpion but also part of the centipede, and centipedes were used as a symbol of human dregs in Sekiro and Bloodborne!

I've also noticed that Blood of Formless Mother, Scarlet Rot and Deathblight are all connected by shared themes of plantlife and spontaneoutsly sprouting winged insects! With the cursed blood, flowers quite literally grow from it and flies spawn from impurities within festering blood swamps. Deathblight are literally roots with multiple flies spawning along them + often getting to fly free too. Scarlet Rot IS associated with flowers and butterflies, and whereas Malenia herself never got insectoid wings (since wings of Goddes of Rot ARE the butterflies, like stated by Romina's incantation), her knights did:

(Close look by Zullie the Witch ( x ) as I've never took a picture)

These three scourges feel like three ugly siblings to me fsdhhfds Needless to mention that Blood Oath, Scarlet Rot and general poison incantations are crammed into the same category, and Death ones aren't here only because they're sorceries!

More interestingly, in Rauh Ruins we find not only Scarlet Rot, but also the Bloodfiends (so, the Formless Mother guys) AND Deathblight:

^ I forgot to take the picture as a proof that the Dancing Lion in Rauh uses Deathblight, so here is screenshot from this ( x ) video of battling it! There are NO Deathroots anywhere near its arena, however it summons Basylisks in the second stage and deals Deathblight damage itself! Divine beasts, additionally, are Belurat thing too!

So, we have all three of these 'affiliations' in Rauh Ruins, giving a strong impression that it is full of Belurat survivors! Whereas the man-flies sickness is found here too, Romina, Bloodfiends and death-dealing Dancing Lion all feel like they've went separate Pokemon Eevelution from the same initial 'stagnation' concept that is the sourse of fly sickness fhhsdgfds I think that either 1) it is exactly what I just joked about, and stagnation is able to naturally develop into one of these stronger "branches" over time or 2) it develops into something specific under influence of an outer god; Deathblight doesn't need 'Prince of Death' since Outer God of Death IS a thing!

Survivors of Belurat here found their affiliations, initially getting afflicted by the "clean" form of it, fly sickness Romina allowed to escape and live!

^ So yeah @ second anon, I do also think that Romina in Rauh guards what is left of her civilisation! Such as one of like, two Dancing Lions and other Hornsent that unfortunately got manfly sickness too! Except, she is not antagonistic to the Scarlet Rot or sees it as her tragedy, but on the contrary: she sympathised with it!

I know it sounds more like a fairytale than an solid theory, but my impression is that a lot of 'waste' goes into the Abyss space and supposedly should have been burnt by the Base Serpent forever! Not as something inherently evil, but just a natural part of the course of life! Eiglay is the God-Devouring serpent, too! Both of them serve as the forces that ensure everything and everybody meets their end eventually, they might even be related! Again, Dark Souls for one had ten Primordial Serpents! We know three here (Base Serpent, Winged Serpent and God-Devouring Serpent) but it could be still a throwback like Fromsoft loves doing!

I think maybe someone, at some point, believed that living forever was a better idea and might have "killed" Base Serpent and Eiglay both! As we know from Rykard's last words though, 'serpent never dies' and he probably was right!

^ Whereas Eiglay had to grow back from a tiny snake again, Base Serpent settled in Messmer's body being so tiny that it could curl behind his eye! Both needed to recover their former power, so whatever eventually slipped in the Abyss was free to persist, rot further and escape back into the living world given the chance!

+ bonus:

Trina ends up having a lot of petals and flowers as part of her body, not unlike Romina, whereas Miquella had insectoid wings at the moment of being kidnapped! The same trademarks of the 'stagnation' again!

I questioned whether it was just Crucible at first, since it also features flowers and wings! In the DLC we've learned that the Fell God himself was connected with the Crucible (Furnace Visage) and Radagon has his red hair due to the curse of his Fire Giants (Giant's Red Braid) 🤔 But.. crucibles are MANY things. It is also horns, spikes, feathered wings, scales, you name that! A LOT of aspects of organic life and not just these two! So I think the Crucible Curse is safe to stay within Morgott and Mohg, and this more likely refers to Miquella himself getting infected at some point! Whether it was having sucked Scarlet Rot out of Freya's wound, or napping in the Haligtree that was getting slowly scarlet-rotten, or both! Sure there are no traces of it left when he becomes a God, but Trina was discarded before that of course! Alternatively, he was a victim of stagnation himself due to not being able to age physically. He, himself, was a lot like Scarlet Buds that are "never to bloom". Endless child state of a body and buds that can't bloom are like eggs that can't hatch but will go terribly bad over time.. what is MORE stagnant?

Who is the God of Rot and why the pink color?

Another side of Romina is a tail of a scorpion, and the giant variant of Spider Scorpions is said to be the result of her actions! At the same time, God of Rot itself was scorpion-like!

I think this makes it... oddly coincidential, that God of Rot is a scorpion at least partially, whereas scorpions are native for the Shadow Realm AND were important animals for Belurat! Like I said before, Belurat strangely has no signs of Scarlet Rot for a place where Romina presumably created/unleashed it!

So, maybe rather than God of Rot already existing as is, it received a particular form in the 'outside' world! I'd say the same for Formless Mother, but her form is ABSENSE of form kind of fdhshdfs Maybe 'receiving the character' is a better way to describe it! Formless Blood, Scarlet Rot and most likely Deathblight didn't exist "outside" but developed from the shared source, and their gods (at least two of them) were born thanks to people! God of Rot might have manifested from a giant scorpion Romina took special care of, or a scorpion who got the 'divine' energy for another reason since giant variants are still not JUST in Rauh! Again, like how Formless Mother manifested in the shadow of a corpse of someone else! The Scarlet Rot became a thing thanks to Romina, developing within her over time!

Again, this is just my idea that Outer Gods are "born" in "our" world rather than simply exist as is, especially since 'outer' is just a type of gods meant to be discerned from Marika's family and who are like Lovecraftian mythos! I just think so because the scorpions connection is a bit too coincidential! It is not necessary!

Eiglay is a God-Devouring Serpent, not Demigod-Devouring Serpent, however, so I think in either case her purpose had more to do with not letting guys like this to ruin the world! Things just must die eventually, not endlessly exist via endless rot/rebirth cycle not allowing for any truly new life to sprout. It makes it double awesome that Base Serpent, and maybe even Eiglay herself, are connected with the fire element as fire itself is ALSO not just an evil force of destruction! It is meant to help the nature to "clean" so it doesn't rot; this power simply must be kept in check to not burn SO much that there is nothing left to be born from the ash and ruin *looks at Frenzied Flame*

Lesbian flag colors joke aside, it seems that color pink is a mark of lacking the master and/or the capacity to bloom! I do think that blooming is a thing only a Demigod is able to do! +remember that Millicent is a unique sprout of Malenia, carrying more of her signs as a Demigod than other girls!

Orange/red is the color of 'true' Scarlet Rot, and you could see even God of Rot itself was orange from Scorpion's Stinger look! It craves the buds that will bloom to grow stronger and increase, similarly to how Formless Mother craves wounds!

+ I also think that Bloodflame is the mark of more "perfect" form of the same concept similarly, as it becomes self-cleaning this way! It similarly could only be accomplished by getting a Demigod (Mohg) involved, whereas regular Bloodfiends are using just the blood itself! Then, Deathblight was not receiving the big roots as we could witness by Dancing Lion in Rauh, without getting a Demigod (Godwyn) involved! The cringe triplets........

________________________

So in the conclusion, Romina reached out for the 'twisted divinity' she witnessed somewhere in the middle of the ruin of everything she knew before, similarly to how Bloodfiends chose to revere the 'twisted deity' found in a corpse of their ancestor as they've lost everything! These two affinities have connotation with strong misery, and it is additionally confirmed by how Millicent can only bloom if she experiences the pain of betrayal! Some sinister power only appears within a lot of pain and death, but on itself it is just "flowers and wings", and a concrete God is born in the place it appears at, depending on the circumstances. It needs the miserable person as much as the miserable person needs it; a call is nothing without the receiver. Together, they define more specific purpose and affinity for it to continue existing and poisoning everything!

...not 100% sure that Deathblight is just as similar, because how do you birth death? Maybe it similarly came to be through the first person to die (Nito, you?????)

P.S.: I'll be damned if the water Dancer Fairy didn't originate from Rauh and simply freaked out upon seeing Romina telling the God of Rot "may you find your worth in the waking world" fsdhfhds

[rjalker]

Well, have some memes about it.

Feel free to add your own versions of the characters. In fact, consider this an art prompt.

[ID: Three versions of the "I think we're gonna have to kill this guy" meme, showing different versions of A Sphere and A Square from Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions, with A Sphere saying "I think we're gonna have to kill this guy, Square", and A Square replying, "Damn.", while text below him indicates he is staring at Ladd Ehlinger, the creator of the 2007 Flatland film. In the first version, the Sphere is a literal blue sphere with lighting on top and shadows underneith, and A Square is a thin line through the air with a bright point in the center. In the second version, A Square is the same, but the Sphere is now more cartoony, with thin black arms, a light green surface with soft lighting and shadow, yellow eyes, and a blue tongue visible as he speaks. The third version has the characters as they appear in the 2007 Flatland film by Ladd Ehlinger. The Sphere is yellow, with protruding red eyes, and a red mouth that goes across his whole front half, like a Pac-Man. A Square is now visibly a Square, with a blue eye on his perimeter that frowns upwards, with dark insides with lighter squiggles. End ID.]

Yeah unfortunately the creator of the 2007 Flatland film is literally a racist misogynistic conservative. So racist in fact that youtube has actually had to restrict videos he's made because they're that blatantly racist. He has literally compared government-funded healthcare and free lunches for school kids to slavery.

You are not a bad person for watching or enjoying his movie, but you should be aware of what kind of person made it, because his bigotry is in the movie, and the way he chose to gloss over and ignore all of the politics of the original novel.

These characters are public domain. They do not belong to this racist misogynist. They belong to all of us. You can design your own versions of the characters in any style you want and do literally anything you want with them.

How about to spite the conservative bigot, everyone takes this as a challenge to create their own designs for these characters, in this meme format, and add them on here?

If you cannot make your own image description, I will make one for you as long as you edit it into your original post.

Flatland is public domain and can be read and listened to and watched in so many different ways. Here is a post linking to a few of them.

Also, you don't have to draw A Square and the Sphere if you don't want to, you can do any Flatland or Flatland-Adjacent characters.

You can start your image description out with "The same meme format as above, but now..." And then describe what the characters look like in your version.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

JJ: Part Two

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.9k

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Summary: It's up to you and your team to find a woman who has been missing for three days. The police already have the suspects in custody, but they're not talking. You trust your instincts to get the job done but you can't seem to feel like there is something... bad... waiting for you.

Season Six Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

"My name's Derek Morgan. I'm with the FBI's behavioral analysis unit." Syd's left wrist is in a cast and Derek notices it immediately. "What did you do?"

"Oh, I had this before Friday night."

"That's not what I asked you."

"But I know what you're thinking."

"I highly doubt that." He opens the file on Syd and whistles lowly. "Wow. Division one lacrosse player. Obviously left-handed."

"I broke it in three pieces."

"That sucks. I bet you're a force. Too bad you didn't dominate the way they hoped, though. Why not? I mean, what happened? Were you still hung up on the Chapel Hill rejection? Especially after you told everybody that you were gonna go. I mean, damn, that's gotta sting a little bit. What's the deal?"

"Isn't it all in your little file?"

"Let's see. My little file says you cheated on your SATS and you had your girlfriend take them for you. That's another hard lesson, isn't it? You can't trust anybody to keep their mouth shut." Syd stays silent. "Why haven't you lawyered up?"

"I haven't done anything wrong."

Derek thinks back to your words and leans back in his chair. 

"Your statement says that you and Jimmy first met Kate on Friday night." Derek shows copies of receipts. "These are Kate's credit card receipts. She and her friends rented a jet ski from Jimmy Friday morning."

"He gets hundreds of customers a day."

"Yeah, but come on, man. I doubt they all look like Kate, do they? Hmm? Isn't that really why Jimmy texted you Friday morning? He woke you up and said, 'Hey, man, you gotta get down here and see this girl.' You liked what you saw, didn't you? You invite her to the club, and maybe that would have been alright, but the problem is, when you and Jimmy get together, it's nothing but trouble. When you add a girl to that mix, she didn't stand a chance, did she? Just like Kelley Graybeal."

"Who?"

"Last summer. She filed a complaint but lucky for you she dropped all the charges."

"Look, man, we could do this for another, I don't know, whatever you got left or I could make it real simple for you. Give me a polygraph."

"After sixty-five hours of sitting here, you want a polygraph?"

"That depends."

"On what?"

"Are you gonna ask me the questions? Because I was really hoping you'd send that pretty one back in here," Syd smirks.

You turn away from the window and walk into James' room. He barely looks at you when you enter. He's a quiet one but Kate's energy is all over him. The camera that is pointed at him is beeping every three seconds, and you know you can use that.

"That is so annoying. Do you know anything about video cameras?" you ask.

"The battery is probably dead," he mutters.

"Oh, right." You get up and open the door where two officers are standing holding some food from Tuggies. "Hey, can I get a new battery for the video camera, please?"

"Okay," an officer nods.

You close the door and sit back down across from James.

"Wow. What was that? Roast beef? Did anyone ask you if you wanted anything?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Neither was I until I smelled that." You chuckle. "So, Syd has a car. That's nice. Did he ever let you drive it?"

"No."

"Yeah, he's kind of a control freak, huh? I met him. He seems like a jerk." You look through the file in your hands and scoff slightly. "Wow, he didn't just get a car. He got a Lexus. At sixteen. Well, I guess that's what LRBs get. Little Rich Boys."

"His dad's got a dealership."

"Do you always defend Syd?"

"Defend him?"

James' eyes twitch but that's the only external reaction you're going to get from him. James bounces his leg but tries to hide it even though you can sense his nerves. Flashes of a boat and Kate come to mind so you decide to change the topic.

"I see you have a boat. Single outboard motor and a two-stroke engine. Is it fast?"

"Yeah. Twenty-five or thirty."

"So, when did your family move here?"

"I don't remember."

"Grade school? Middle school?"

"Fifth grade."

"So, you were ten? That's the year you met Syd."

"How does any of this have to do with that girl?"

You have a small earpiece in your ear that you're hiding from your hair so he doesn't see it, so you can hear everything that they're saying outside.

"He never mentions her by name," Hotch says to the detective.

"Why not?"

"He's distancing himself. Depersonalizing the victim."

"You want to talk about Kate?" you ask James.

"I didn't know her."

"You brought her up."

James cracks his neck like you're getting to him.

"You don't believe me? Give me a polygraph."

"See the way he shifted his weight and cracked his neck? His behavior was consistent until Kate was mentioned," Hotch says.

You excuse yourself and leave his room just as Derek leaves the room with Syd.

"You guys hear all of that? He just asked for a polygraph."

"You're kidding me. Him, too?" Mathias sighs.

By them both asking for a polygraph, it's what's called a countermeasure. They're trying to manage perceptions to prove they don't have anything to hide. James knows where Kate is right now even if Syd doesn't. Both boys are taken into separate rooms with the same questions by two different officers. When you know James' room is empty, you go inside and grab the clock on the wall. You set the time forward by thirty minutes and place the clock back on the wall.

"Why did you do that?" Hotch asks.

"He kept looking at the clock the entire time. I think he's waiting until the time is up. If he thinks time is up, he'll be more likely to confess."

"I got new batteries for the camera," an officer says as she pops her head in.

"I don't need them. Thank you, though." You look at Hotch. "That beeping noise coupled with the anxiety of time ticking down should work in my favor."

Spencer, Rossi, and Emily come back from the club and join everyone in the main room.

"We think Kate was comfortable with these guys."

"How? Their only other encounter was at the jet ski rental," JJ says.

"The only documented encounter. Garcia's running her friends' credit cards, too. They could have met someplace else."

"I don't know. She's a smart girl."

"Well, they're handsome, charming, and nineteen. Do you remember being nineteen? Reid and Y/N should. You two were that age not that long ago."

"Yes, we know, we're the youngest on the team," you chuckle.

"She would know better than to be outnumbered, though."

"What if Pearson promised to dump Barrett? Maybe James retaliated?"

"I can work that angle," you say.

The boys finish up quickly and head back to the interrogation rooms and Detective Mathias joins the group.

"When do we get the results?" Hotch asks.

"Any minute. So, what if they didn't do it? Then we're back to nothing?"

"One of them knows where Kate is, and I have faith that Y/N will be able to get that answer."

"Thanks, Hotch," you grin.

"How can you be sure?"

"Because an innocent person doesn't sit quietly for three days. They get angry and defensive These guys are going out of their way to appear calm and in control. They've got something to hide."

"Then why take the polygraph?"

"Because they're stalling. Serial killers are Kings of manipulation."

"Serial killers? There's only one potential victim."

"Serial killing is a qualitative characteristic. It's not just about numbers. They've assaulted at least one girl before. It was only a matter of time before they did it again. Barrett's a perfect match for Pearson. His family uprooted from the city, forcing him to adapt to his new surroundings. He's eager to fit in and quick to follow. Pearson's definitely got the dominant traits. He's loud, he's physical, he's smart, he's charismatic, and he's privileged."

"Sounds like a peach," Rossi scoffs.

"You should talk to him."

"Love to."

"I'll take you to him."

Detective Mathias leaves with Rossi to the boys' rooms.

"JJ, how are the Joyces doing?" Hotch asks.

"They lost their son three years ago. If we can't find Kate..."

"If Kate knew these boys better than we thought, you might want to dig a little."

"Dig?"

"If the family thinks it could help, they may reveal something."

"I know," she sighs. "They shouldn't have to."

She leaves and Derek crosses his arms around his chest.

"Hotch, we can't lose her."

"Strauss thinks we're all replaceable. I went over her head to try to explain that we were not."

You head over to the interrogation rooms and watch Rossi with Syd.

"Are you the bad cop?"

"I'm not a cop. Sydney Xavier Pearson. A name like that didn't come with manners? A gentleman walks a lady to the door."

"She wasn't much of a lady," he smirks.

"Watch your mouth."

"The girl was horny, man. I mean, she practically begged me for it."

Detective Mathias is presented with the results from both boys' polygraph tests, and Derek grabs the paper angrily. 

"Derek, I don't think he knows about Kate. I think he's innocent," you say, but it falls on deaf ears.

He strides into Syd's room and practically shoves the paper into Rossi's hands.

"The son of a bitch passed. How? How'd you do it?"

"Bastard believes his lies are the truth. Takes a few deep breaths and passes," Rossi says.

"Old-timer's kind of dramatic, isn't he? You know, it's actually much simpler than that. You see, I didn't actually do anything to her."

"You didn't do anything? You gave me some pretty graphic details."

"Oh, don't get me wrong. My DNA is all over that girl, but that doesn't mean I killed her. I got pictures on my cell. Do you want to see?"

"You're giving us consent?"

Syd nods and Derek yanks open the door.

"Give me this guy's property! Now!" he shouts.

An officer brings Derek everything that Syd owns, and Derek hands the phone to Syd who immediately goes through it.

"Alright, now a gentleman never shares but see?" He shows pictures of the trio and Kate is smiling in every one. "No tears." Rossi takes the phone and leaves the room. "Now, you see how happy she was?"

You walk back into James' room and notice the beeping on the camera is still there.

"What the hell was that?"

"That's the camera."

"No, the yelling."

"That was Agent Morgan." You sit and open the file. "Barrett, it says here you were half an hour late to work on Saturday morning."

"I was hungover."

"Hungover? That's nothing new, is it, but being late is. According to your timesheets, it looks like you always clock in ten minutes early, gas up the jet skis, and get the life vests out. What happened that morning?"

"I just told you. I was hungover."

James looks at the camera that keeps beeping.

"Okay. You were hungover and slept in. What about Friday night?"

"We drove to the inlet."

"Drove to the inlet, okay. Approximately what time would you say you drove to the inlet?"

"Two or two-thirty."

"Why would you go into the water at two or two-thirty in the morning?"

"The boats start coming in."

"In the middle of the night, the boast start coming in?"

James gets a bit angrier and continues to look at the beeping camera. His eye twitches but he tries to contain his anger.

"Yeah. They fish all night, then they bring in the catch. Then, they sell it on the docks to the restaurants and all that. Syd wanted to show her, then he drove her back, dropped her off at the hotel, and the next thing I knew, it was morning."

"You slept in?"

"My alarm clock is broken."

"Broken. Your alarm clock is broken?"

"Broken," he repeats after you.

"Did it make you upset?"

James stands up and slams his hands down on the table, but you don't flinch.

"Can you fix the damn camera, please?!"

The door opens and James sits back down. Spencer hands you the results of James' polygraph test, and you frown.

"How'd you pass this test?"

He doesn't answer you. You decide to leave him alone with the beeping camera while you watch Rossi and Derek with Syd. It's almost sundown which means it's almost time to release them. You still don't have Kate's body, know where she is, or have gotten a confession out of one of them. You know James is cracking but you need more time.

x

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[shieldofiron]

We have totally totally never talked about this before but I’m gonna bring it to your asks

Big (dilf? Kind of? Maybe) dom Billy who’s just like the most experienced kinkster ever but refuses to wear clothes that aren’t knitted and has the strongest prescription glasses and refuses to get a phone more modern than the brick

Then Steve who’s like hyper modern party animal and is immediately like “I want him” the moment they meet but keeps trying to drop thirst traps on tiktok and obviously Billy doesn’t even know what tiktok is

It’s a comedy of errors which I love

Oh I do like it. But I think I'm gonna add... Doctor Hargrove and Nurse Harrington into the equation.

Heather was always trying to show him her phone. He didn't necessarily see the appeal, but it was easy enough to just sit through whatever inane video she wanted him to watch. He was tired from a twelve hour shift might as well just let it happen.

Today he was really annoyed because his new t-shirt had a tag and he'd cut it out but he could still feel the scratching even though he'd taken it off hours ago.

"Can it wait until later?" Billy sighed, closing his eyes and resting against the back of her couch.

"No, it cannot wait until later," She tossed her hair to the side, "It's you, Billy."

"Me?" Billy shook his head without even consciously thinking of it, "Like when I texted you to pick up that lube I like?"

"No, and I'm not doing that by the way," Heather's perfectly painted lips quirked up into a smile, "No, it's a video of you."

"Someone took a video of me? What? Is that legal?" Billy leapt for her phone, grunting when she pulled back quickly and he flopped to the couch.

"It was at that grocery store you go to by the hospital that has terrible produce, not like, in your bathroom," She shook her head.

He sighed, "Okay fine."

He fully expects to see some video of him doing something clumsy, but instead it's just him, at a far distance. He's wearing the scrubs he wore on Monday, with the Scotty dogs, and he's still got his stethoscope on, yawning in the bread aisle. The video doesn't show his face, but it's unmistakably Billy, down to his old school digital watch.

A cheery robot voice says, "When you see your work crush outside of work." The video then cuts to a darkened car dashboard.

"I don't even know if I got groceries. I blacked out," A man's voice says with a laugh.

Billy frowns, "What is this?"

"It's tiktok, Billy," She swipes up and it cuts to one of Heather's favorite astrology videos, that she's showed him before.

"Wait, go back to the guy," He asks, grabbing for her phone.

She rolls her eyes, "Okay fine. Like you don't get enough ego boosts at the club with everyone begging you to be their dom."

"This is different. This is, actually me," Billy reaches out but she navigates back to the first video, tapping until another video fills her screen.

"What people think you do as a male nurse," the same cheery robot lady's voice says. A beautiful man fills the screen, wearing scrub bottoms and a silly costume nurse's hat.

"I'm here to take your temperature," The man bends close to the camera, brown eyes sparkling as he shamelessly angles his hairy chest towards Billy.

"Oh no," The man puts his hands to his cheek, "It seems you have sexy sex disease. I guess I'd better..."

He turns, arching his back just a little and Billy's mouth goes dry. beauty marks are scattered across his toned back, and he looks back coyly over his shoulder. The video cuts off.

"What I actually do as a male nurse," The robot voice says. It cuts to the same guy, his pretty fluffy hair a mess under a thick headband. He's got glasses on, and ugly, the Grinch themed scrubs.

"And you say it got stuck up there by accident?" He purses his pretty pink lips and writes something on a clipboard, "Okay, sure."

Billy laughs, "Heather, how do I get to this on my phone."

"Oh my god," She rolls her eyes, "Spare me from the Nokia."

"Well, then, what... how do I see the other videos?"

Heather complains, but as she sets him up on his ancient laptop. He has a tiktok account now, that only follows one thing, NurseStevie.

Heather watches a few more with him and then laughs, "I gotta go meet Barb for dinner. But I'll give you a hint. He works in pediatrics."

[namjooning-to-the-moon]

BTS Headcanon- On Tour🥵

Authors note: firstly, this is the first smut on this blog so I hope you like sinning 😈

I would also like to add this even though I feel it's common sense. This is a work of fiction. This is not remotely fact, just my opinions on the BTS members based on their public personas.

Warnings: this is smut, don't like don't read.

My gif use on this post is also ✨flawless✨

This is how I think the BTS members would behave when they are down bad on tour...

Jin

Doesn't get horny much on tour because he's too busy having a good time.

Mainly so he doesn't miss you so much.

If he's in the mood though he will probably just watch porn with his head phones in and get off ngl.

He's a simple man.

Will picture you two doing whatever is in the video.

Might use it as inspo for what he's going to do to you when he gets home.

But he's only watching porn if you aren't available.

If you are he's sexting you.

Will be a cliche and ask you "what are you wearing? 😏"

Even if you say something like "a penguin onsie" this man will find a way to work with it.

Texts back something like "a naughty penguin???🥵

Would do phone sex if he could but he knows he's kind of loud so its not really possible.

Won't ask for nudes but if you send them he will put them in the spank bank 💦

Lingerie pics are also welcome.

Put on his favourite and send him cute pictures.

Sends you photos of his fucked out expression after he's done.

If you've joined in, send him a picture back of your own fucked out expression.

Might make him horny all over again though.

Another round may be needed.

When the post nut clarity hits he will send you a really sweet message about how much he misses you.

Yoongi

Sleepiest member on tour so probably doesn't have much time for it.

If he's only gone for two weeks he can honestly wait till he gets back home and fuck you.

If he's away from home for a while though he's going to have to do it.

He's human and he still has needs.

Doesn't want to damage himself.

Can make himself bust in five minutes flat so he can carry on with his day.

Doesn't need porn.

He has a whole vault of memories of you two fucking for inspo.

Will never ask you for nudes or spicy photos but if you send them he will use them if he feels like it.

They aren't really his thing.

He just uses them because you are in them.

Much more audio stimulated than visual.

Phone sex, yes and please.

Has a filthy mouth. 

He knows it and you know it.

Tongue technology™ will ruin you.

Tells you about all the things he's going to do to you when he gets home.

He will take his time and go into explicit detail.

The things he says would make a whore blush fr.

Before he goes on tour would love it if you let him record the sound of you when you guys are fucking.

Will be super quiet while he records it so it may be awkward for you but he wants to make sure there is only your sounds on the audio.

Will listen to it on his headphones when he's picturing you to get off. 

^This gif is literal perfection for this and I am not even remotely sorry for using it.

Hoseok

Not the biggest fan of touching himself but does it because he needs to.

Makes him miss you more.

Phone sex.

Facetime sex.

He needs it.

He needs to be able to see or hear you.

He's addicted to you.

If you aren't available though he will use his ✨imagination✨

Doesn't find porn satisfying anymore and it gets him frustrated because it's not you.

You guys could make a sex tape a thousand times better than any porn.

The only thing that holds him back from making one is the paranoia that it could get leaked somehow.

He will eventually cave in though and probably ask if he can film himself cumming across your ass cheeks and dripping down your thighs.

It's anonymous enough if it got leaked that no one would know 👌🏻

Wont ask for photos but will drop hints that he wants them.

Wants it to be your choice to send them otherwise it's not fun for him.

If you are available he prefers facetime sex but phone sex is also good with him.

Lowkey an exhibitionist with facetime sex

Will tease the fuck out of you.

He's on tour not dead.

Hope you like getting edged from thousands of miles away.

Namjoon

Lowkey stressed on tour because he has five idiots and a Yoongi to take care of, so doesn't do it often.

But when he does he needs it bad.

Not really into porn anymore but if you aren't available he will watch it.

There's a catch though...

The girl has to look like you in some way.

Either same hair colour, or same skin tone, maybe same kind of facial features. 

Something about them has to remind him of you or he can't get off.

If you are available though, phone sex for days.

Biggest dirty talker in the group.

His mouth is actual filth.

Loves giving you instructions on how to touch yourself for him.

He's thousands of miles away but that pussy is still his.

Those are the rules ok.

Wants you to tell him how bad you need him.

Dirty talk him the fuck back, he loves it.

Will also ask for photos subtly because he doesn't want to seem pushy.

If you let him film you he will never watch porn again.

Give him a blow job the way he likes and let him film it and he will wife you. I don't make the rules.

Probably would never ask for it though because he knows he's clumsy af and will probably lose his phone.

The thought of that honestly gives him a borderline aneurysm.

Will think about it frequently though.

^This gif is chefs kiss perfect and I will not fucking apologize.

Jimin

It doesn't matter if this man is on the fucking moon.

He is highkey horny most of the time.

Being on tour is fun but the way he misses you actually hurts him.

Has deadass thought about flying you out just to get laid.

Doesn't like porn, would rather use his imagination and his memory bank.

Will ask for photos to add to the ones he has already.

Has a fap folder 💦 of you.

This man has a cam fetish I am 100% convinced .

Anything you can give him he will accept.

Lingerie pics? Cool. Nudes? Also cool.

Even just a pic of you in a short skirt peaking out some underwear is good with him.

Just give this man any small crumb of pussy please hes begging.

Phone sex? Loves it. Especially if you praise him and tell him how to touch himself.

Facetime sex? Fucking loves it omg.

Jimin is a highkey exhibitionist and I will die on that hill.

Needs to have his own room to do it though so it's rare but when it happens omg.

Your own personal cam boy fr.

Will ask to film you before he goes on tour.

Nothing too extreme though.

Wants a pov video of you on your back with his cock sliding in and out of you.

That way he can see pussy, tits and face.

The essentials™

Call him a good boy on camera and it will make him cum every time.

Taehyung

Also on team highkey horny most of the time.

Being on tour doesn't change his sex drive much so he is fr suffering.

Doesn't like porn because he's too emotionally connected to you sexually and it makes him feel like he's cheating.

He just feels guilty the whole time.

Not the vibe he's going for.

Has a very vivid imagination so he's got plenty of explicit memories to work with.

Will sext you constantly.

Even if you are at the grocery store, expect a text from his horny ass in a different timezone saying hes touching himself thinking about you sucking him off.

Will deadass ask for photos.

Absolutely no shame.

Will take anything you give him.

His favourite though is when you make them artsy.

Lingerie photos but with you holding some flowers? Hot.

Nudes but you are slightly covered by the bed sheets? Also hot.

Phone sex is ok but not his favorite.

Mainly likes to hear you moan his name down the phone.

Facetime sex is where it's at.

Prefers being able to see you.

Will sometimes out of the blue send you a video of him in the bathroom of his hotel room in front of the mirror getting himself off.

Texts "just for you baby" as the caption

Jungkook

When he's on tour he's very focused.

After shows he's mostly sleepy and hungry.

He is also a lot of the time lowkey horny. 

The energy and the adrenaline from performing makes him dtf.

You aren't there though so he's kind of suffering.

Will ask for photos but will be cute about it.

Sends texts like "nudes? 👉🏻👈🏻"

Send him teasing videos and he will whine but lowkey loves it.

Be warned though...

He will break your back like a glow stick when he comes back home.

Film yourself stripping out of lingerie and he will watch it the whole time he's on tour.

Send him a video of you sucking a lolipop and winking at the camera and he will lose his mind.

Will watch porn if he has to.

Also on team, the girl in it has to resemble you in some way.

Too shy for facetime sex or phone sex.

Loves sexting though.

Will write you the filthiest texts like omg.

Also tells you about how he's going to fuck you when he gets home.

All I can say is don't expect to use your legs for a few days when he gets back.

Authors note: I would like to say that I wrote this out, edited it to perfection just for Tumblr not to let me post it. But you know what, I fucking did it all over again, you're welcome and fuck you Tumblr mobile app.

[charcubed]

I'm curious, what are the main reasons why Dean is your favorite canon bisexual in media? Love your meta and that video btw

Ooooo, anon, thank you for the kind words and for giving me an excuse to talk about my love for bisexual icon Dean Winchester <3

I'm going to be really annoying (sorry) and quote part of my meta first. It summarizes and articulates many of my thoughts on this. And then to further answer your question I'll add a bit under it!

From the very beginning, Dean Winchester has been a character tied to classic elements of American masculinity. He was introduced with a superficial veneer involving those elements, but almost immediately the early episodes provide a look at the complexity of his character underneath it. Over the years, that complexity was further explored, and he came to embody a study in things society would often have us think should be incompatible contrasts: the gruffness and grit of hunting life and its associated masculine iconography, paired with his open and deep emotional care for the world; unabashed love for classic rock, superheroes, and horror movies, as well as unabashed joy connected to TV dramas, chick flicks, and childhood favorites like Scooby-Doo; life on the road with a muscle car, but the desire for a home base with creature comforts he can make his own; motivation to always help people, but the clear longing for balance with personal domesticity and relaxation so he could save not only others but also himself.

As a whole, his character functions as an effective deconstruction of toxic masculinity and stereotypical American heroism. And while much of Dean’s most masculine traits and interests are said to come from his father’s influence, part of his journey is loving those parts of himself on their own merit not because he ever had to but because he wants to. He is not his father, and he redefines those valued parts of his identity so they are his and his alone. He also crucially learns to recognize and joyfully embody that those masculine traits were never all that he had to be, working through and overcoming shame and hesitancy along the way. The result? He’s “good with who he is.”

He and the audience are encouraged to see that there are no rules his identity and interests must subscribe to, on a micro or a macro level. The message is to disregard predetermined destiny or duty. Free will means his life is his to determine, his family can be what he makes of it and how he defines it, and what he needs and wants do not ever have to be mutually exclusive. Dean’s journey is about freedom from outwardly-imposed limitations–whether those limitations come from his father’s example and the God altering his story, or from the pervasive societal ideals and network/executive interference outside of it. Dean can and should contain multitudes, all at once.

In this way, Dean’s story is a powerfully queer narrative that acts as metacommentary. In the fullness of its execution, it is also specifically a deeply bisexual narrative.

The not-so-hidden truth is that Dean is canonically a bisexual man. His story was afforded something that’s rare for most characters and almost nonexistent for queer ones: fifteen years of lengthy, nuanced development.

[...]

Again: Dean’s identity journey is about how he can and does contain the capacity for multitudes, and it’s part of what makes him such a compelling character. He can like “this” and “that.” He can be attracted to women and men. Or, as writer Ben Edlund and director Phil Sgriccia said in a DVD commentary, Dean has “the potential for love in all places.”

I wanted to include the above verbatim because it spells out something specific: Dean's narrative is bisexual in its bones. Supernatural evolved to become a queer text, but the specific ways the show and Dean as a character evolved are very intertwined with and informed by the fact that Dean is a masculine bisexual man. SPN is a story that was not meant to be about being queer, but as it became about freedom through free will, those themes were then leveraged and emphasized in connection to queerness because of Destiel. And by the end, the free will narrative and Dean's journey as a bi man are utterly inseparable, because Dean's fight for true freedom is tied to his love for a man and their untraditional family in a way that higher forces are trying to hinder.

You cannot cut out or edit or remove Dean's bisexuality from the story, or several narratives and plot lines (not just Destiel) would at minimum be misunderstood or at maximum fall apart. And yet, simultaneously? Dean's bisexuality is also far from being the sole important thing about his character because he is written with such nuanced complexities and across so many years of material.

Of course, add onto this the overall unique situation that surrounds Supernatural as a piece of media. People talk at length about how there will never be anything like it again, including me; that's obviously true from multiple different angles and for multiple different reasons, with Destiel being prime amongst them. But a related yet distinctly significant branch of that topic is there will never be another bisexual character who is written and evolves quite like Dean.

Was Dean supposed to be bisexual from the very start, out of the mind of Kripke? Who can know for sure, but probably not. Were certain writers and members of production deliberately putting more queercoding and subtext into Dean's character/story from the very start? Who can know for sure, but potentially yes, and certainly the answer becomes unarguably definitely yes the farther you get into the show. That's part of my love and passion for him too, because all of that is deeply unique and incredibly cool.

Dean's bisexuality evolved in a way that (against all odds) actually feels organic, seamless, and like it's simply a part of his character that's been there all along. The effect when you look at Supernatural as a whole body of work is that Dean's always been bi, and his expressions of and acknowledgements of that part of him ebb and flow depending on situation–which is a very relatable notion for many queer people. And as those writing the show became more committed and certain about that piece of who Dean is, so did he, in nuanced and subtle ways skillfully embedded into his story by design. It's bafflingly, impressively cohesive; gives him an incredibly realistic feel; matches his overall character growth; and rings true to his demographic, age, personality, and experiences.

Dean and his story and the situation(s) surrounding both are simply incomparable, and that will be true forever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

...also. Well. I simply love him, y'know? For even more reasons unconnected to this. How can you not, right? :')

Thank you for asking, and thanks for reading this bi Dean manifesto!

Putting my video that you mentioned here for anyone who's not watched it:

My new magnum opus, please stream, etc.

(or watch on Tumblr here)

[anopenbookunderlockandkey]

The 118 Sauce Chat

Eddie: I definitely make spaghetti sauce extremely wrong but I’m not going to stop

Chim: please elaborate on the wrong way to make spaghetti sauce; it sounds highly entertaining?

Eddie: 1 chop onion and put in a pot

Eddie: Add 1 or 2 cans of diced tomatoes. Whatever makes the ratio of onion look right.

Eddie: Add a ridiculous amount of frozen peas. Peas should make up a notable portion of this sauce.

Eddie: Add frozen corn also if you wanna be real fancy. If I have bacon I’ll ad that too. But I very rarely have bacon.

Eddie: Cook on HIGH

Eddie: While sauce is cooking, grab the nearest bottle of mixed spices that isn't obviously for desserts. Add some. How much? I dunno, enough that you feel like you've added seasoning so it's technically cooking. (For me this is most often a mix called Moroccan, but it could be anything. Buck reorganised my kitchen recently so tonight it was something called Pizza Topping.)

Eddie: If you happen to have green herbs lying around, add those too. Whatever you have on hand that's green

Eddie: Let the sauce boil on HIGH until all the water is gone. Stir occasionally so the saucepan will be easier to clean later. Serve on cooked spaghetti noodles with no cheese

Eddie: Today I added a new step called "while the sauce is cooking, duck out for 15 seconds to text the group chat about spaghetti sauce, then get distracted and forget you are cooking." This adds a novel Extremely Burnt edge to the flavour profile.

Chim: I am not Italian, or of Italian descent by *any* stretch of the imagination.

I am also not one of those "cooking purists", who believes that everything must be done in a specific/ traditional way (unless you are making a cooking video with the title "how to make x" in which case if you don't specify mid video that your way is not traditional god help you).

I am a firm believer in "If it tastes good, then it is correct for you".

Chim: Except in this case

Bobby: This hurts every cooking bone in my body. The latent ancestors in my soul. The judgmental elf in my brain just bit a cyanide capsule

Hen: Why? The spices.

Using a different spice mix every time, based on what is ready at hand just ... hurts

Eddie: *sends SPICE IS SPICE meme*

Ravi: absolutely deranged, Eddie. Food crimes.

Bobby: Hey Eddie, looks like you forgot to mention the part where you obviously sweated the onions, because nobody would make spaghetti sauce that had straight up raw onions boiled in tomato juices.

Bobby: RIGHT????

Bobby: Please Eddie

Eddie: I don’t know what sweating the onions means

Hen: It means. It means you cook em a little in a pan with a bit of oil first

Eddie: A pan? How many dishes do you want me to have to wash here?

Hen: I mean you can also do it in the same pot you're making the spaghetti sauce in! The important thing is the onions get a little cooked before the wet stuff goes in, so they're not so wet and limp and boiled....

Eddie: Honestly this depends entirely on whether I remember to chop an onion first or I find the can opener for the tomatoes first. The ingredients go in in whatever order they go in.

Ravi: Eddie, who hurt you???

Eddie: A pack of wild chefs herded my mother off a cliff

Chim: Theres probably a hit out on you for this

Eddie: What kind of stupid idiot would waste money assassinating someone who's so clearly going to accidentally poison themself for free at some point

Bobby: hi Eddie, big fan of your firefighting, this is the sauce equivalent of the running up a metal ladder in a lightning storm to try to pull up a 6’0” tall man instead of lowering him to the ground

-Athena

Eddie: Athena, that is the meanest review my cooking has ever received

Chim: congratulations you found the worst way to do it! this feels like a spaghetti recipe made by AI before it got really sophisticated

-Maddie

Eddie: this group chat’s hate mail game is insane

Ravi: at this point please just eat every ingredient raw… please

Eddie: Do I look like Tony Abbott to you

Buck: As a former Committer of Food Crimes, I have decided to make this sauce this weekend after I have a chance to go to the store. I will report back.

Eddie: Excellent, I look forward to vindication.

Hen: No one's going to vindicate your boiled onion in cinnamonny tomato juice on noodles, Eddie

Eddie: Not cinnamon. Cinnamon is a dessert spice. You use the nearest non-dessert spice.

Ravi: cinnamon is absolutely not a dessert spice

Eddie: Yes it is! It's for muffins and pancakes and fruit pies!

Chim: Cinnamon powder is absolutely a dessert “spice” and Eddie if your cooking is this bad I can’t imagine your baked abominations

Eddie: I put lemon juice in everything I bake that isn't bread

Written for the only two gremlins (endearment) who find this as entertaining as I do @professionalprocrastinator22 and @gravelyhalversobbing

Inspired by:

[arabaka]

₊˚ʚ ☁️ ₊˚ ♡ ﾟ. content warnings ⤸ sfw. serizawa katsuya x afab!reader. 1.6 words. while i don't mind ageless/minors interacting with my sfw posts, do NOT follow if you do not have your age in bio.

₊˚ʚ ☁️ ₊˚ ♡ ﾟ. author's note ⤸ wowie this has been in my drafts for a thousand years so i thought, why not post <3 i do have a chapter 2 of sorts, just need to polish it up! thank you for reading <3

He never used to do this…

Play video games online, that is.

Serizawa Katsuya had long preferred games of the retro persuasion; they were a familiar comfort, much like a security blanket. For so long, he’d only known a controller with a single stick and two buttons and that had been enough for him. It still is, most days. But that all changed when he found a new reason to turn to his desktop computer, the one he saved up every 1-yen coin for from his job working for Reigen.

But it wasn’t the graphics of new age games that kept him coming back. It wasn’t the carousel of variety that got his chair rolling and his PC buzzing. No, it was never something– it was someone.

Now he knows your name but your username used to come first. It was how Serizawa met you after all, when he was still a complete and total noob to the pixel MMORPG you’ve frequented since day one. 

And like most things, your friendship with Serizawa happened by chance. You were helping a buddy out, shepherding them if you will because after all, they were trying the game out because of your incessant begging and pleading. You needed another person in your group after all, a certain raid requirement wouldn’t let you participate otherwise and you’d much rather go in with a group of friends than some randos that might steal all your loot in the end.

Serizawa just happened to be in your party when playing as a duo through the tutorial. After you tore down the first boss, an aquamarine monster made of slimy goo, Serizawa had typed an innocuous question in the main chat.

『 How do I equip the armor? 』

And you weren’t about to ignore the help of someone trying the game out for the first time. So what started as casual advice turned into a friend request popping in your inbox… Then spontaneous meet-ups…

『 Hey Gyudon-san! Are you going to be playing for long? 』

『 Hello! Yes, I have an hour. 』

『 Want to play together? 』

『 Yes! Thank you! 』

Turned into repeat plans…

『 Gyudon! I have a day off tomorrow, want to play? 』

『 Yes! That would be fun. I have night school but we can play after. 』

『 How are your studies going? Don’t play if you have a lot of work! Education comes first :p 』

『 No, not a lot. I want to play with you! 』

Which then led to chatting outside the game…

『 Gyudon-san, do you use LINE? 』

『 Yes, but mostly for schoolwork... 』

『 We should add each other! 』

『 Okay! 』

… And that’s when you learn his name for the first time. Serizawa Katsuya. The discoveries wouldn’t stop there; with the game no longer a crutch for communication, your conversations became a staple for having a good day. Good morning texts, good night texts. You messaged him when you saw something that reminded you of him, things that went beyond your shared interest in video games. He was so kind, you could feel his warmth over the phone even from simple messages; you have so many of them saved because sometimes, you need a pick me up from the man in particular. When you are on your phone with a smile that makes the apples of your cheeks glow, more often than not it’s because of him.

“You so like him.” One of your friends tells you one day over a bowl of ramen and they just know that it isn’t the steam rising from the broth that’s making your face clammy all of a sudden.

“He’s just– He’s a really good guy! Can’t I have friends?” You remark, stuffing your face with noodles and slurping loud enough to hopefully drown out the teasing that would soon follow. But you know they’re right. Who else do you think of when the lights are off and you’re left to ruminate in your bed, the mattress seeming larger and emptier as the days go by? Who else are you always looking forward to calling, even though phone calls aren’t really your thing? How many times have you looked up train tickets and times for Seasoning City, only to click back with your heart thumping in your eardrums?

“Don’t you want something more?” The words bounce off the walls in your head long after you say goodbye to your friend. 

Don’t you want something more? 

You can practically see the words when you close your eyes as you try to go to sleep but it’s deep into the night already and you’ve been tossing and turning for hours now. You stuff a groan into a pillow, cramming your face in the plush to silence the sounds even though you live alone. You groan because… you do want something more.

But does he?

You don’t know if you can live like this. Pining is one thing, something you’ve apparently been doing all this time (and you’ve known, god you’ve known but coming to stare it blank in the face is making your heart stutter at a pace that makes your chest cavity feel like it’s going to break at the seams if you’re not careful) but living in a shadow of doubt makes you feel even worse. 

“So that’s it,” You grumble into the pillow, “I gotta do it.” The pillow wilts in your arms from all the tight squeezing, the sheet blotted with a few drops of frustration straight from your scrunched up eyes. You grab your phone– no, you’re not doing it now but you figure, since you’re already going down this path, you might as well soothe yourself by rereading some of his messages from earlier.

Only, when you go into your chat history with Serizawa, you see three little dots greeting you from the dimmed screen. 

🗨 I can’t sleep… I hope you’re resting well.

Your thumb jitters on the screen, your last swallow lodged in your throat as you read the message. 

🗨 Same here. 

That’s it? That’s all you can come up with? You don’t want the conversation to die here so you’re flipping through conversation notecards in your brain, chiding yourself for not having anything to say when suddenly, you get another message.

🗨 Would you like to talk on the phone?

You say yes. Your stomach bounces, fraught with nerves, but you say yes. And when you answer, you don’t see the face of your phone until hours later when the sun’s already come up and a new day’s begun. 

“I didn’t realize what time it was… Sorry…” Serizawa sheepishly apologies and you swear you hear him stifle a yawn at the tailend of his words. Cute.

“No, no– it’s okay! Talking with you always makes my day… Night. Day and night?” You stumble over your words but it seems to charm him nonetheless, Serizawa’s soft laughter a gift to your ears. You wish you could hear it in person.

“I– I feel the same.” He briskly coughs, almost like he’s working himself up to something, “I– I was going to ask you… My last week of school is coming up. My friends want to have dinner and I– I was wondering if–”

Your shirt wrinkles in your balled up fist, trying as you might to still the beating of your heart but failing.

“If you would like to come? Y-You don’t have to, of course!”

“I’d love to!” You blurt out, incapable of keeping your lips in an airtight seal for any longer. “J-Just tell me the date!”

And he does– it’s in two weeks, which feels like so much time and not enough all at once. You put him on speakerphone, smiling all the while as he scrambles for the right words; is he as worked up about this as you are? You’re already on the shuttle website, looking at the price of tickets, debating on buying them early just because you can. 

“... It’s going to be a lot of fun, you’ll like my friends,” Serizawa’s voice drifts back to focus, “and I’ve… Told them about you too.” He’s blushing, glad that you can’t see the red painted across his cheeks. 

Your grip wobbles, phone nearly falling on your face when you gasp, “You have?!” 

“A-Ah, should I not–”

“No, no! I’m – I’m happy you have! I’ve talked about you to my friends too… Besides the ones we play with…” How is it already 7 AM? “Hey, you don’t have to go to work or anything do you?” 

You hear him yelp, “I-I do! I have work! I gotta go! Sorry!” 

How can somebody sound cute even when they’re panicked? How smitten with this man are you? “Go, go, go! Talk to you later, Serizawa-kun!” 

The phone line ends. You wish it didn’t. You already miss him. You blink, your retinas burning from the lack of sleep, your lids suddenly so heavy you can’t help but… Close them for just a little bit…

And when you wake up – is that really the time? – you’re greeted with a flurry of notifications but the only one you really care about is the message from Serizawa.

🗨 Very tired at work but I am glad we got to talk. I hope we can do it again sometime. 

Sometime would end up being an understatement. You go a day, tops two without talking over the phone, the next few times coupled with alerts that remind you to GO TO SLEEP because otherwise… You’ll end up repeating a sleepless night and as cute as Serizawa’s eye bags were (he’d sent you a selfie for the first time that week, which you stared at for an amount of time you are still too embarrassed to utter aloud), you weren’t about to make them worse… Though you were tempted.

And so was he.

[aziraphales-library]

hello! i just recently read the rainbow road series and its absolutely amazing would definitely recommend it to anyone :) it's about crowley (AJ) and aziraphale (ezira) both being f1 drivers and it's been so fun to read so i'm wondering if you know other fics with these two involved in some sports as athletes or something??

thank you!!

Hi. We have a #sports tag. Here are more to add...

Holy Warrior by AlwaysDoe (M)

When a rookie introduces himself with a bang at AJ’s Boxing Gym, owner Crowley is reluctant to invest in him as the potential champion they so badly need. As it turns out, stepping into the ring isn’t nearly as terrifying as trying to fight your own feelings.

Big Wave by snae_b (E)

Aziraphale has been champing at the bit to ride the big waves off the coast of Nazaré. It’s a shame that when the opportunity finally arises, it means teaming up with his nemesis. And that in this tiny seaside town, there are only so many available hotel rooms...

To be Your Prince by Phoenix_Soar (T)

It was their shared dream to stand together on the Olympic podium, as figure skaters, rivals, best friends. But a twist of fate has Aziraphale and Crowley pursuing different paths, the former as a Singles skater and the other an Ice Dancer. It wouldn’t be so terrible, Aziraphale thinks, if he didn’t have to watch Crowley skate with someone else day after day. Someone that isn’t him, and to know he’ll never get to be with Crowley like that, in front of the whole world. (Figure skating AU)

Upon This Rock by Eowyn1846 (M)

Crowley and Aziraphale meet as teenagers participating in a youth curling league. Years after losing touch when Crowley's family moves away, the two former friends are reunited at a major tournament...as competitors on two very cut-throat teams, whose captains seem willing to win at any cost, even to the detriment of the sport.

Angels on High by Santillatron (M)

Aziraphale takes up a new sport. It's all going rather well until he inadvertently takes the top spot on the leader board and ends up accidentally starting a feud with the previous holder of the title. The man is arrogant, rude, and seems to think Aziraphale has somehow targeted him specifically. Not the kind of man Aziraphale wants to get to know at all, really.

Strike Three: You're in Love by AnnaTheHank (E)

The company baseball league was the last place Crowley wanted to be. But after meeting one of the opposing team's catchers, Aziraphale, he's a little more commited to the idea. A happy little low-stakes AU in which Crowley and Aziraphale awkwardly flirt at the plate and have some fun off the field.

And the first fic in the series you mentioned, which we have recommended before...

Sit Tight, Take Hold by nieded (E)

The summer of 2022, Ezira Phale is a rookie Formula 1 driver out to prove he's one of the best racecar drivers in the world, but everything gets turned upside down when he falls in love with his real-life idol, AJ Crowley. Or: The one where Crowley does not go too fast for Aziraphale. _____ This story uses a multi-media format with CSS and HTML. It's best read using the workskin so please make sure that you are enabling user workskins. If you do not want to use the workskin, I will also be posting a .pdf of each chapter and a final .pdf once everything is posted! I’m not so cool as to know how to do podcasts, manips, and videos, but this will feature scripts, news articles, text messages, tumblr, and race programming! So strap in and put your seatbelt on! This is going to be one fast ride of romance, competition, and over-indulgence.

- Mod D

[not-goldy]

But isn’t JK sort of "queer cleansing" in Ch 2?

All those women in his MV’s who he had zero chemistry with but not a single reference to being into men (not that I expect that of course, being from a homophobic country. More like being in the closet, unfortunately.. but still).

I think his side of Ch 2 is interesting, based on the past ten years up until the military announcement— which is when this sudden "flipped switch" from disliking/being indifferent about dating women, refusing to sing "girl" in a Jason Derulo cover and being the object of other men’s affection, to singing about boinking women seemed to happen.

If the blurry video wasn’t true, I wonder if BH didn’t rush to clean it up because it kind of worked out to help with JK’s new "ladies man" image 💀💀 His face isn’t even decipherable but at least half the fandom ate that up!

To some extent I guess.

Heteronormativity and queer cleansing are two related but distinct concepts so I hope you are not confusing the two as one and the same in this case.

Heteronormativity in this sense is promoting hetersexuality and images of it as the standard or mainstream idea of something. For instance, what is the purpose of choosing a female lead to play the role of love interest besides the fact that that is just how things are done in the industry??

At this point it doesn't even matter at all the female you cast, it just has to be A female to play the role. It's not political, it doesn't speak to the sexual orientation of the individual, it's just what sells and what is considered the norm or standard way of doing things. You could replace the female subject with an inanimate object and the message of love and affection will not be lost.

Over using female as love interests without allowing for much diversity in music visuals has led to a situation where the woman has become a neutral marker in art. Much like words such as Man or other masculine forms gained neutrality and universality such that where you see man or dude or guy in a text you don't necessarily think they are referring strictly to a man, it's the same for women. They are there because they are expected to be there.

We are not wired to see their presence in MVs as contributing any unique or significant meaning to the story telling.

However seeing two men or two women portrayed as leads and love interests adds a political dimension to the message of the song or story of the MV.

It's why visuals such as Blood Sweat and Tears and the whole visual album of HYYH era speaks to many of us. Other wise they are all men, they can just sit and shout into a mic cos no one wants to see them grope each other- it's gay.

It's also why a producer will tell Tae to find a female to sing a part he wrote for Jimin on his personal song- it wasn't because a female voice was required for the song but simply unconventional for two men to sing a duet of that kind.

That's heteronormativity not queer cleansing.

A cleanse is an intentional act meant to please an audience, to calm their wrath and to portray conformity to the desires of the masses.

Heteronormativity is unconscious biases and decisions that are meaningless in themselves and are done not just to please but for the sheer reason that that is what we know and have come to accept as the norm.

I guess the difference is, did Jungkook have a choice other than choosing a female character for the role? No. To choose a male character for such a role would be so political and revolutionary because it would be going outside the norm.

Having a female lead is just a trend. For straight people, if they want to be "political" they often cast the real object of their affections and discard the paid models and artists. JB did that with his wife and uhm- what's the name of the dude who said his lungs under water but was breathing fire?

Queer cleansing is not just about heteronormativity. Promoting and using women as leads is not necessarily a cleanse.

It's heteronormative because whether he is in Korea or not, whether his country is conservative or not, whether he is gay or not, he would have casted a female as lead because it is expected and normalized.

I mean, why else would they have casted female leads for their mv way back when they were starting out, as young as they were, as young as he was?

Why else would he date a girl when he had no feelings whatsoever for her.

Why else were they made to pick up girls and demonstrate how they would ask a girl out or kiss a girl as entertainment disregarding the fact not all of them might have been into girls.

Let me leave you with this imagery:

Heteronormativity, like right handedness, or able bodiedness is the default setting of society. Manufacturers create products build cars, roads on the assumption that every one is right handed able-bodied straight individual and every thing in society is made to cater to this group bu default.

So sometimes when people create products to cater to the audience we can't say they are making revolutionary statements or even deliberately being discriminatory- they doing so simply because it's how things are done.

Jungkook might simply film an MV that way because that's how things are done in the industry.

I hope in the future he realizes this challenge and goes out of his way to challenge it not because he is queer but because he desires to bring change and uniqueness into the world.

And you are right. There are so many instances of hybe cleaning up his image or putting him through queer cleansing- I just don't think the MV is one of those.

Like I said, even his own fans try to queer cleanse his image by cooking up straight rumors and attacking people to try to suppress and disassociate him from any queer narrative.

And it's a cleanse because they do this with the understanding that portraying him as queer is harmful to his image or reputation or even a threat to his commercial success such as them tearing down his banners and even banning BTS in certain places because they seem "gay" smh

[wolfnanaki]

I've been thinking for a while now about the decision in Goodbye Volcano High to reveal and use Fang's deadname. And while it's definitely an uncomfortable moment for us trans/nonbinary people in the audience, and there's been a suggestion that there should be a deadname filter so people don't have to see or hear it (and I've censored it in this photo), regarding the game's narrative about Fang's life and the lives of trans/nonbinary people, I think it was the right call.

For one, it's not just the deadname in its own right, but who says it. Everyone else in the game - from Fang's friends, to their fellow peers and teachers, LJ, and even Fang's brother Naser - all use Fang's correct name and pronouns. The only character that doesn't is Fang's mother. She writes the deadname on a sticky note, she texts it to Naser, and she says it during the video call. And each time, we see Fang's reaction.

I think lots of online discourse about trans/nonbinary people has this idea that if you deadname or misgender a trans person, you're going to be on the receiving end of a whinging verbal attack by someone with rainbow hair or whatever. That all it takes to send someone into a flying rage is by ruffling their feathers in what seems to be an innocuous way to cis people. But Fang's reactions are much more true to the lived experience of trans/nonbinary people; they're visibly uncomfortable and upset, but they endure it.

Fang's parents' inability to name and gender Fang correctly ties in to their perception of Fang as a whole, which is a running theme throughout the game. In the roof scene with Reed in episode 2, Fang tells this to Reed:

"They don't... take me seriously. Like, anything. Music, the band, my name... none of it worthy of respect to them, I guess. Or... at least acknowledging that it's important to me."

This is echoed in Fang's conversation with Sage later, who's facing the same issue; with him being a trans man who chooses to act and dress feminine, he feels like his parents have given up any serious expectations from him, both regarding his career and gender.

What is of interest to me here is that the game highlights how harmful it is to deadname and misgender trans/nonbinary people, but does it in a way that isn't aggressive or preachy. Instead, it shows the reactions of the people on the receiving end, showing how much it hurts them, and asks the audience to take their feelings seriously.

On a related note, I want to give huge props to Naser. Despite him being the favorite child of the two, he never entertains his parents' inability to grasp Fang's identity. During the video call moment, he makes it a point to use Fang's correct name and pronouns. He stands up for his older sibling, even in a situation where it may be uncomfortable to do so, and that's cool as hell of him.

And finally, on the suggestion of having a "deadname filter" option in the game that censors its audio and text. I get that. I think it'd be great, especially since this game does such a great job at making you feel for these characters that you'd share Fang's pain in those scenes. I'm sure Fang would love to have that filter too, though. And I'm sure many trans and nonbinary people would in real life. My life's audio would be full of lots of censor sound effects. Good idea to add the filter to the game, but remember why it's not there initially, and what the message is trying to portray.

Besides, the kind of people who would deadname Fang would never call them by their canon deadname.

They'd call them Lucy.

[transhawks]

sorry for the cringe ask pls ignore if you want but with these chapters of the todofam do yuo think it is like "wrong" to not see anything poetic/pretty/anything like that about the family and mostly touya and endeavor situation? ive seen all these texts (not here though) abt how touya loves his father and is a Liar™ while also ignoring most of what he went through and his feelings of anger and bitterness i mean... sure there is/was love behind the hurt but i feel like i read the story wrongly

Okay, let's break down your ask a bit because it's not that I think you read the story wrong, it's that there's a missing component that I see a lot of people miss when it comes to stories like this:

you can love your abuser.

you can love your abuser.

most of us love our abusers.

Now, and I think this is something I believe that uhh I've argued with my friends over - I don't know how much parents who abuse their kids "love" them. It's complicated and a case-by-case basis, but I want to say that often it's love for what they want the child to be, not the child themselves. I've said it a few times over the years: out of the all the Todoroki children, the only child that got Enji as an actual father from the start was Touya. Toddler Shouto is scared of him, Enji seemingly didn't interact much with Natsuo as a baby or toddler, maybe to avoid the issue he had with Touya. And, well, bluntly, Fuyumi was essentially a baby sister for Touya's sake. Add to that the Japanese tradition of male primogeniture, and you get a very, very strong reason for why Touya loves his father and hates him at the same time, especially since this is met with apathy from Enji's end (as Touya thinks). As @pikahlua said recently, the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. The actions and desperations of Todoroki Touya to be seen by the man he loves, no matter if the man in question doesn't deserve this adoration, are signs of a child yearning to be loved by his father, not ignored. Now, let's break down your ask: "Poetic/pretty"

Abuse isn't poetic or pretty. It's abuse. It's messy, and it creates rifts and broken, messy people who don't make sense and move through the world breaking things further. I know that's quite a harsh thing to say about other victims like this, but I'm not going to candy-coat it - victimhood is not virtuous. Being abused and victimized doesn't automatically make you good person or a better person, and you are not a better person for having struggled. In fact, honestly, trying to do good will be that much harder. And this is exactly why cycles of abuse are replicated.

Touya is both a liar and he isn't - because he's abused and that creates irrational feelings about the abuser and what happened. His lies are mostly to himself. That's how you get Touya maniacally making a video decrying all of hero society propping up abusers while trying to murder his younger brother in sheer jealousy that he wasn't abused the way he was.

I'm going to use the same words I use for Hawks: when are you people going to understand people who are fucked in the head are fucked in the head?

To me it makes sense that Touya has conflicting thoughts and feelings because people, especially mentally people who got there due to abuse, have conflicting thoughts and feelings. That's what you go to therapy to fix. (no one in BNHA goes to therapy) So, where does that leave you, anon? I think it's again about a greater question of what kind of stories you want to read. I will always agree we need more stories where child abuse victims walk away from their families and get to be happy about it. I get that the reconciliation stories like Encanto have their place, but for so long that's been such a big narrative in why people like me have to continue to have ties with people who hurt us. But BNHA isn't bucking that formula.

Horikoshi's own experiences and perspectives on abuse want wish fulfillment. And in his wishes, he wants the abuser to say sorry. Most abusers never get to where Enji has gotten. However, a good chunk of people don't want Enji to even say "I'm sorry" in the first place, and that's where I feel the story was just not written with them in mind. So, if you read the story wrong, it's because you wanted something different from it. You wanted a different type of narrative of abuse. Neither Horikoshi or you are wrong in wanting or writing this sort of story, it's just that the story is not for you. And accepting that will make you a happier person in the long run. Sometimes stories just aren't for you. I keep beating this like a dead horse; a large amount of the fandom, especially among my fellow villain-stans, didn't heed my warnings that the story wasn't going to end with what they wanted and they'd end up frustrated and angry at spending so much time for something that feels flat to them because they couldn't adjust their expectations. Lo and behold, it's too late now and now people are in their feelings about something they could have simply dropped or accepted. I'm sorry the story isn't for you and I hope you find a manga that suits you better in the future.

[cleolinda]

Weekend links, June 2, 2024

My posts

My mom was in a car wreck this past week, but she’s okay and it looks like insurance will pay for the massive damage to the back third of her whole-ass car, and it won’t be totaled. Panic-inducing, and my mom’s a little spooked about getting back out on the road, but it’s going to be okay, I think. 

I was going back through my #pride posts to find things to seasonally reblog, and I remembered I’d written this post about Donna Summer and Disco Demolition Night.

Reblogs of interest

Politics: Felonies Georg is the first U.S. president to be convicted of a crime! in court! a lot!

Speaking of birdsrightsactivist, who is featured in that post, it turns out that she is a delightful evolutionary biologist who coined the word “birb.”

Hot Vintage Lady Poll finals: It’s Eartha Kitt vs. Hedy Lamarr. Be advised that it’s a 24-hour flash poll, as the men’s was. Bring it home, Eartha Nation. 

Kick off Pride Month with this massive To Wong Foo post that gets better and better every time someone adds to it.

Hozier Watch 2024: A ethereal white butterfly crashed the Noblesville show, presumably with an urgent message from the Faerie Queen (Florence Welch). 

More from hellenhighwater’s minotaur sculpture trilogy.

An extra hour in the brick pit: yet another scam event in Britain. Although I’m halfway to believing that’s just the Official DashCon Ball Pit LEGO Kit.®

I am truly truly sorry to inflict this on you, but you need to know about Ogtha, an important Reddit saga. Think Snapewives, but Kafka. And then telling your parents about it in the language of her people. 

Rooster Goncharov

How a budgie tells someone to get the fuck out

“Unbelievably huge dragon d[ISCOUNT]”

Calculus Made Easy

Wake up, babe, new cat color dropped

The Velocipastor is so much

Darth Maul, second worst nightmare

I cannot impress upon you enough what a cultural icon Winona Ryder was in the late ’80s.

That said, I now want you to read this in her deadpan Lydia Deetz voice.

“No one’s really buying AI”: I am filled with a very specific kind of joy to hear that teenagers are already calling AI-generated images “boomer art.”

Contemplating this Eurasian red squirrel and his delicious apple for a while is self care. I mean, I sure felt better. 

Video

If you have ever wanted to get in a time machine and go directly back to 1994, IMAGINE A WORLD WHERE TIME DRIFTS SLOWLY

Elephants love making music, and we don’t deserve them

Pallas cats in pumpkins, because Halloween is everyday

The sacred texts

The “Backrooms” image/location from the original 4chan thread has been found. Side note, I keep meaning to post something about Kane Parsons’ new video series, because it’s very different from Backrooms and yet the absolute terror of the liminal is still there. 

While we’re here, would you care for an heirloom dancing Spider-Man?

Personal tag of the week

#pride, since I enjoy posting things for Pride Month, although at the rate we’re going, I and/or my family might be struck by lightning any moment. Here’s hoping my tag flourishes.