#(kidding kidding. but god just imagine if we got him somehow. he's pissed off. who knows what he'll agree to.)
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https://www.tumblr.com/cementcornfield/770769401912934400
8 and 16!!
8. who's your favourite player not on your favourite team + never been?
okay, this time i'm gonna go ahead and say myles garrett. i know i know this could be sacrilege choosing an afc north rival whose sole purpose in life seems to be attacking joe BUT. hear me out.
he's so gorgeous oh my god. we've all seen that body issue right??? please please click if you haven't. i promise you it's life changing.
but beyond all that, he's also just a deeply dorky thoughtful guy (outside of the, you know, brutal sacking power he has as probably the best edge guy in the league). he's a photographer, he's a poet, he plays DnD at local cleveland bars lmao. and he's so creative with his halloween costumes and decorations each year oh my god. he's just another very FUN player to watch.
and i also really enjoy the dynamic he has with joe. nothing better than Guy Whose Job It Is To Hit and Guy Who Loves Getting Hit. like truly a match made in heaven <3 (plus joe being myles 100th sack, that's love baby!) they also have been known to hang out in the offseason and genuinely seem to like each other. love that for them!!
16. what's the best game/moment in your eyes?
alright, i'm gonna say my next favorite game is probably the '22 afc championship win versus the chiefs because oh my god. NO ONE thought we were going to win that one. we were just a lil feel good story that surely was going to stop there. but nope! we beat the chiefs! we beat patrick mahomes! everyone was realizing 'holy shit are the bengals GOOD now??' and we did it AT arrowhead!!! another road game with an intense atmosphere that no one thought we could overcome, and we did! it was close and exciting game the whole time and we stayed in it. we kept battling. joe stayed calm and ja'marr did what he always does. sam also came in strong with TWO sacks on mahomes (oh sam. what you once were!!) and OF COURSE evan with the OT field goal to win it all :') :') oh my god, it was absolutely beautiful. (if you have the time PLEASE watch the mic'd up of it. ja'marr is one of the players mic'd up and you get to see him just start SOBBING after evan's kick makes it. i think watching this was when i first completely fell in love with who ja'marr is tbh!)
#myles is coming up near the end of his contract yes??#or at the very least he's making some noise in cleveland about how he wants the team to start winning NOW#ohhhh the unrealistic fantasy in my head of us acquiring him this offseason somehow#he wants to go to a team with a better offense#we need d-line help like nothing else#maybe if joe bats his eyes and asks real nicely he won't want much guaranteed money :) :)#(kidding kidding. but god just imagine if we got him somehow. he's pissed off. who knows what he'll agree to.)#and man that afc championship game. that mic'd up. with clyde talking to crying ja'marr!!#ja'marr saying 'ohhh i like that' when joe says 'when we score' instead of 'if we score'#good shit good shit inject it in my veins#a close third favorite game would have to be the saints game of 22.#we all know why <3#thank you for sending this in!!!
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I put this in my repost but I think it was supposed to be in your asks? I'm still trying to figure out the proper way to interact with tumblr, lol. Anyways! These were my gut thoughts on your Ghost AU!
Oh. My. God.
And if Stan was still in his 20s?? Maybe having died when he got locked in the trunk of the car or from starvation or something during his years of homelessness? The insane angst of Ford realizing not only had Stan very much not been ok when he was kicked out, but that Stan still cared so much about him that his ghost self made its way to Gravity Falls just to be near him??
And poor Mabel learning that this wonderful loving ghost who obviously cares about her so much was also her Grunkle? I feel like she’d wanna do anything to give him a second chance at life!
Or or or, really really angsty to the point where I’m sorry I’m even typing this. TW:Suicide. What if the meeting had happened in their 30s and Stan took the journal like Ford asked but was so devastated by his reunion with his brother that after hiding the journal he killed himself feeling like there was nothing else to live for and Ford was better off without him. This would then only be confirmed when he returned as a ghost to Gravity Falls and sees that Ford just continued with his research like he did in that horrible Journal 3 entry.
And then Ford would have to face the guilt of realizing he put his own desires to be a world renowned scientist over his brothers own life.
Ford better pull some crazy magic out of his ass to bring Stan back and give that man the love he deserves. (Plus then we get age gap stancest 🤭)
Anyways. Sorry for the angst but you made my brain go brrrrrr, lol
YEAHHH i def imagine him being in his 20's when he died, MAYBE early 30's depending on how i want him to die. ough the idea of him dying in that car is super tasty angst. Ive also considered like, what if stan had originally planned to see ford after he got the postcard but died somehow in his travels trying to get to him?
and ford would have no idea. ford would maybe even consider that stan abandoned him in his time of need, and that just fuels his anger and resentment toward him.
so when 30 years later ford finds out stan has been dead the entire time, and has been just hanging out in the shack with him, unbeknownst to him, he would feel awful. awful awful awful awful
as much as ford is an assholes sometimes--he's not heartless. He'd be broken up about stan's death in a major way. I think he'd also be sort of in denial, in the sense of "there has to be a way to undo this, to fix this" but stan has to tell him that it's over. it's done.
he's gone.
(except i might make him wrong HAHAHA)
but YES mabel and stan get along so so well. she'd be so heartbroken about finding out that he's her grunkle, and she'd be pissed about how ford has been talking about stan (even though he mentions him offhandedly and very few times).
And like, while i do think stan will ultimately be brought back to life in some way (most likely through a time wish the kids get) i really think its important to me that it's obvious that ford failed. That there's no way for him to bring stan back.
And even if he could, does he really deserve a second chance?
He's not too sure.
But my whole thinking with this is: even if Ford might not deserve a second chance with Stan, the kids absolutely do.
which is why i really want them to bond with him and find a way later to bring him back, so stan could have another chance at life. That, maybe in another life, they could've spent more time together with him as their grunkle.
also! the suicide idea is DELIGHTFULLY ANGSTY!!! however. the only hang up i personally have with it is like. i feel like ghost stan would take the form of how he died? so i wouldn't want it to be too too gruesome yknow?
thank u for the ask, friend! sorry it took a few days to respond!
#stancest#stancest ghost stan au#fuck it im gonna name it#No One Mourns the Wicked AU#have to change my tags lmao
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☆ WVBA Sleepover ☆
This is what i imagine if all the boxers had a sleepover, i had so much fun doing this, imagine the ref as your dad telling you and your friends to shut up at 4 AM in the morning during your sleepover
Glass Joe
- actually trying to sleep
- enjoyed watching movies
- keeps picking truth while playing truth and dare and pissing off everyone
- "guys shut up my moms calling i gotta take this"
- sore loser of any pillow fights that take place
Von Kaiser
- cant sleep because they keep annoying him
- "guys let Joe speak to his mom"
- screamed while watching a horror movie and keeps getting made fun of for it
- if you pick dare while playing truth and dare with him, hes gonna be so evil and cruel
- keeps getting pillows thrown at him by Macho Man
Disco Kid
- wont sleep, at all
- "Tell her i said hi, Joe"
- laughed at a character getting decapitated while watching a horror movie and freaked everyone out
- came up with the brilliant idea of playing "she's/he's a ten but.."
- tries to protect kaiser from the pillow strikes
- had the very great idea of doing karaoke at 3 am in the morning, Got told to shut up by the ref
- keeps picking dare while playing truth and dare, if you choose dare while playing with him, he'll make you dance or sing
Piston Hondo
- really sleepy but doesnt want to sleep because he knows that he'll get pranked (let my boy sleep, hes tired, hes a little eepy)
- trying to help joe ve able to speak to his mom, doing his best
- made a pillow fort to hide from the pillow fight
- if you choose dare while playing truth and dare with him, he'll say something dumb like "scream from the balcony" if you pick truth he'll ask really unhinged questions like "have you ever wanted to kill someone"
- completely silent during the movie,either enjoying it or traumatized
King Hippo
- runmaging through the kitchen, Just hungry
- screaming behind Joe as he tries to talk to his mom
- "hi mom i-"
- "HUAAGGHHHHHGGGHHHHHHH"
- aran ryan thinks its hilarious
- ref chased him with a chair at some point from the screaming
- pretended to be watching the movie but he watched the back of his eyelids instead
Great Tiger
- doing his best not to fall asleep
- "say hi to her for me joe!!"
- winner of the pillow fight thanks to his clones
- keeps asking personal stuff during truth and dare
- "kaiser, what is your deepest, darkest fear?"
- "questions like these"
- keeps yelling at the characters in the horror movie
- "WHY WOULD YOU GO TO THE BASEMENT THE DOOR IS COVERED İN BLOOD!!-"
- tamest dares ever, the fuck is "i dare you to roll on the floor" about
Don Flamenco
- passed out for a while, got his wig (i know its not a wig but its funny to say he got his wig stolen, come on) stolen & had a game of tic tac toe played on his humoungus forehead
- annoying Joe as he tries to speak to his mom by imitating a womans voice while saying really concerning stuff
- kept getting his wig (its funny to say that shut up) knocked off during the pillow fight
- traumatized by the horror movie, 1000 yard stare during it
- played "she's/he's a ten but.." And ended up finding out everyones type
- so much gossip oh my god
-keeps pulling the classic "who do you have a crush on?" during truth and dare
Bear Hugger
- someone keeps whispering dumb stuff in his ear while hes trying to sleep and he keeps laughing at it, mind you it isnt just a little "teehee" either its a entire ass tornado siren, keeps scaring everyone with his laugh
- whacked most during the pillow fight, may he rest in peace
- keeps asking dumb stuff during truth and dare, bear what do you mean by "i dare you to tapdance"
- also yelling at the actors during the horror movie
-" YOU HAVE A HAMMER BEAT HIM WITH IT- NO DONT THROW IT AT HIM"
- also gossiping
Soda Popinski
- pretends to be awake, didnt get noticed sleeping somehow
- saying dumb stuff while Joe tries to talk to his mom
-" sorry for the noise m-"
-" WE ARE DOING DRUGS."
- keeps laughing at the horror movie
- keeps picking dare while playing truth and dare, got dared to beat the ref into the ground by aran ryan, got sad because he got stopped
- wrecking everyone during the pillow fight
Bald Bull
-trying to not fall asleep, struggling clearly, refuses to admit it
- "bull you look like a raccoon please get some sleep"
- "im fine dont worry"
- zoned out during the movie so he didnt have much of a reaction
- keeps picking truth while playing, hates the personal questions
- physically there, mentally not
- 5th to pass out suprisingly
-Just hiding behind hondos fort while watching the pillow fight
Super Macho Man
- keeps whispering dumb stuff while everyones trying to sleep
- saying even more concerning stuff while Joe tries to talk to his mom
- "mom theyre just-"
-"STEAL HIS COCK, BOYS."
- got beaten half to death during the pillow fight
- also traumatized by the horror movie
- gossiping (as he should, PURR)
Aran Ryan
- this fucking menace. Said sleep is for the weak & proceeded to pass out, before that he just kept whispering "penis." while everyone was trying to sleep
- got duct taped to the ceiling by sandman & fell asleep there
- put rocks in his pillow during the pillow fight, still got his shit ROCKED
- kept talking during the movie
- "oh my god i swear if she doesnt push him down the stairs-"
-"shut up"
- the only person he didnt bother was bull, this was only because he was concerned
- did some prank calls but got caught during the 4th call
Mr Sandman
- didnt bother anyone
- "LET JOE SPEAK TO HIS MOM FUCKING DAMN IT"
- really quiet
- was out for blood during the pillow fight
- taped aran ryan to the ceiling
- listened to the gossip
Extra
King hippo fell asleep last on the kitchen floor
Aran ryan fell on top of glass joe when the tape broke while he was asleep, you havent known true fear until a irishman on your ceiling falls on you, both of them broke some bones
Ref got a headache after all this
King hippo kept running around the house until 6 AM
The idea of taping aran ryan to the ceiling came from von kaiser since his dad did that once
#headcanon#punch out#bald bull#punch out wii#don flamenco#piston hondo#punch out headcanons#aran ryan#glass joe#super macho man#sleepover
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Enemies to Lovers Part 1 (Valorant Yoru x GN!Reader
Heyooo! You ask, I deliver! Kinda :3
I took the ‘slowly’ from your request literally. I hope you still like it though!
Thanks for being my first request :DDDDD
CW: Yoru being such an asshole towards the reader, degrading language, bullying. Yoru being himself. The content warning can be summarized to: Yoru.
When you entered the protocol, you were nice to everyone. You wanted to make a good impression.
The agents who were social were properly introduced to you, while the others who weren’t present were just given your files. They adored you.
Not everyone fell for that act though.
“Try not to piss yourself and run with your tail tucked between your legs while you’re here.”
Those were the very first cluster of words you’ve heard this asshole say to you.
First of the many.
Clearly he wasn’t fond of you. Mainly because he thinks the Protocol is overcrowded. Sometimes he’d pray to God Breach would be sent to wherever crevice of Sweden he’s from.
Seeing as that loud mouth is still alive, even Satan didn’t want him around, he thought.
He also didn’t like the idea of constantly having new agents to “get along with”, stretching that definition as thin as you can imagine.
As thin as his patience with the newbies.
He took the “I fight anybody, I fight everybody” too literally.
And alas, the hostility extended to you.
Yoru, was his name. Or at least you’ve heard. You were warned beforehand about him.
He was aggressive, sharp tongued and prickly, as Sage would say.
“Ah. You must be that Yoru guy then.” You stand firm, speaking monotone.
“It’s no surprise you know. I have a bit of a reputation, good or bad, decide when you eat dust during missions.”
He came up to you suddenly while you were taking in boxes for your room. Somehow you’d caught his attention with all the noise you’ve made.
Your first interaction with him was brief as he scoffed on his way back to wherever he was going.
Your blood simmered. You didn’t like his cocky attitude. What does he know? He wasn’t even present when you were in the training facilities, showing your moves for the familiarity of others.
To say that you got off on the wrong foot was an understatement.
Him being mean to you started off to be his petty protest at Brimstone for “constantly dragging in every single radiant he can pick off the streets.”
“We’ve got so many people here already, a few more and we’ll look like a clown car” He complained to Phoenix once.
Anytime you’d be in the same room, Yoru would either pretend you weren’t there (includes not valuing your opinions during discussions) or he’d find any chance he gets to berate you and take it.
“Try not to come back as a corpse” “That gun? Hoping that recoil sends you to space” “Go home new kid. Unless you wanna see me wipe the floor with everyone’s asses” were some of his favorite insults.
You shut up and ignored him most of the time, talking shit back only sometimes.
“Hey, at least I’m not tearing literal dimensional fabrics just so I can hide from my enemies, coward.”
He did not like it when you talked back. He didn’t like you, period.
Even in HQ, he’s butted heads with you. He can’t seem to shut up. It was starting to get boring, so you end up just giving him an unamused look most of the time.
“Yeah yeah eat shit,” you’d reply.
During battle, you both had a spat because Yoru was willing to chase down the enemy Breach while wounded, potentially leaving you and bleeding Raze to fend for yourselves. You stop him, knowing that the Breach had the advantage, but predicted that he would run away to his teammates to regroup. He curses at the you in Japanese, then yells “I had him! I had him and you let him escape!”
“You’d rather run off wounded to fill your ego than stay here and keep Raze safe while I finish the mission so we can go home? Are you nuts?!” You throw the defuse kit to the ground, shattering it.
“My ego?! Baka janai! Gunning them down is my job. You think we’re safe here while he regroups with intel of our location!?”
Thankfully the rest came. You were all safe now. But your bickering did not cease as you board the aircraft.
“The chopper was down before that could even happen. You jump in headfirst to every risk, minus the brain. If I hadn’t stopped you, you would’ve been dead by now.”
Yoru grabs you by the collar and growls. “Listen here, new kid. Fuzakeru na! Stay out of my way if you know what’s good for you.”
“Yeah? And what if I don’t?” You challenged, but Brimstone splits you up before it escalated.
“Enough. Both of you made a mistake. Yoru, you’re too consumed by bloodlust, you don’t think about anything else but hunting enemies down. That makes you a liability rather than an asset. You make impulsive decisions that could endanger others.
“And you. The reason why you were so worried about being in a vulnerable was because you left yourself in a visible position while defusing. It was good that you pulled Raze to a safe place but it’s not an excuse not to be aware of your surroundings.”
“Look old man, I know what I’m doing. It’s them you shou—” Yoru interjects but he is stopped. “Both of you are in suspension. No missions, no deployment, no leaving the HQ, not until further notice.”
Both of your jaws drop, and this time, it was your turn to speak. “But Sir I promise this won—” “I know this won’t happen again, rookie. That is what the suspension is for.”
The whole trip back to HQ, Yoru kept glaring at you unashamedly. And if looks could kill, your head would’ve been cleaved clean off your shoulders and tossed into another dimension.
What angered him most was your nonchalance. You were upset, but it didn’t show in your face. You simply held your wounded arm and looked away from him during the trip. You thought he was being an immature imbecile when he purposely bumped your shoulder harshly, whispering doke with so much poison in his voice as you left the chopper.
The staredown continued in the infirmary where you both sat across each other with a distance, sitting on the beds as you patched yourselves up. One consequence of that event was that Sage couldn’t heal you. You smirked at him. He was more wounded than you. Thankfully Brim was kind enough to let Sage stitch him up at least.
“Oh what I’d do to wipe that smile you’ve got on your face.”
“Charming. Imagine being that salty over someone who’s just happy they’re alive.”
He was doing a poor job patching himself up.
You swear he’d get an infection with those stitches.
You hop of from your seat and slap his hand away from himself. He then automatically grabs your wrists and raises them above your head. “Nani kore? Aho.” He squeezed your wrists threateningly. On the inside though, he was wincing in pain.
You wince but try and pull back. “You’re doing a shit job at cleaning those wounds. And as much as I hate you, I don’t want to see you amputated.”
He gulps. His glaring persisted while you kept your dismissive look. This close you could feel his breath, smell his cologne strong and musky, and metallic blood. The tension was rising until he dropped your wrists, groaning quietly.
Admittedly he really was doing a shit job. And maybe it was the bloodloss acting up, but he let you do as you please with him.
“Try anything suspicious and I’ll put a bullet through your skull.”
“Watch out I might just sneak a cartoon bandaid on you.”
You put a Spongebob one on his nose.
He was not whelmed.
As you dabbed iodine on his chest wound, he kept hissing silently. He hasn’t felt pain in a looong while. He was starting to appreciate Sage’s powers. Starting to.
Tagging: @swiftyangx12 Part 2 here.
#valorant yoru#yoru x reader#valorant yoru x reader#valorant imagines#valorant#valorant headcanons#valorant yoru imagines#valorant yoru oneshot#valorant oneshots#valorant oneshot#yoru#fanfiction#valorant fanfiction#messages#requests
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Part 2
Part 3: The Exciting Conclusion!
At one point Kal-El decides he has to trick Lois into thinking Clark is still thin while Superman is fat, or she'll be too hip to the "they are the same person" jive. Which she has been for like 10 years by this point in the comics. But this is the weird little sex game these morons apparently need to keep playing, so he does this:
Let it be said that his great weight has not diminished Superman's ability to solve non-problems in the most pointlessly complicated way imaginable.
Seeing this, you may be asking...well, a lot of questions. But the one I asked immediately was, "Hey, idiot who uses robot clones to solve every problem: why not just use robot clones to solve this problem?"
Well! The sad people who made this were one step ahead of you the whole time, baby girl!
So I guess we can ask SOME questions after all, DC.
Having finished the ever-important Superman task of lying to the woman who wants to sleep with him, Kal-El gets back to trying to slim down to 200 lbs by 8 the next morning, for a reason that is really going to piss you off in a bit.
But how can he do this, in a world before fast-motion Richard Simmons tapes or liposuction?
Answers: Silver Age Superman style!
Juggling box cars!
Use his ass to destroy condemned buildings in Metropolis!
Incomprehensible space nonsense!
By 8 the next morning, he is nearly 200 lbs. But not quite. And this is a problem, because he has to use his own body at exactly that weight to unlock the door to a vault. That will EXPLODE if he doesn't.
Which sounds like a bad design to me, and everyone else with a functioning brain. But, see, this vault was built by the US Government to house a very special peace-ray robot they built.
Yes, really.
We never see that used, by the way. This is the second to the last panel. This is all you get about the machine America built that can somehow cancel guns.
I guess that means it didn't work.
Thank God and the 2nd Amendment for that, am I right, boys?
🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲TRUMP👍2024🇺🇲🇺🇲🇮🇱🇺🇲🇺🇲
As for how Superman activated the lock while he was still slightly too heavy, he simply used some alien anti-gravity disks he just...had. In his crystal ice palace. That he went and got.
No, I don't know where they came from. No one does. It doesn't matter. Why ask questions?
The only good thing about this ending is that outside of context, it looks like Superman is offering you the pills that make him think he can fly.
I remind you that this is the same issue that also had the cool story of Super-Pancho. What a mixed bag. Of POTATO CHIPS, YOU DISGUSTING WHALE!
Let's go out on a positive note: a WWII vehicle driven by Nazi skeletons.
Yes. This is the bottom half of the page where Superman is offering you drugs.
Maybe those drugs will help you build this wacky model of, again, a WWII vehicle driven by Nazi skeletons.
You know. For the kids.
...I'm not going to pretend Rommel's Rod isn't amazing. If I ever get hold of a time machine, I'm using it just to go back to 1969 and buy one of these kits. But that said...kind of a tonal shift, to drop this in at the end of Superman being fat.
Don't ever pay $30 for this comic. Not even Super-Pancho is worth it. And I LOVE Super-Pancho.
...Super-PAUNCH-o. Hee hee!
Sorry. All the kick-ass evil from these Nazi skeletons is turning me into some jerk on a dam.
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Bella and Beauford (your version of Beau) are twins, similar features (brown eyes), similar chip on their shoulder, similar flowery language, and Ed can't read either of their minds and both smell like grade A beefcakes. Both move to Forks. What kind of mess do you think will go down? 030 Does Eddie boi get the harem he's never wanted? How much can we destroy the B&B team self esteem? Find out on today's episode of the What if Muffin chronicles~! - Sw
Beauford is a reoccurring guest star on this blog.
Think Bella directly plastered onto a boy: absurdly pretty, still clumsy, still terribly introverted and awful socially, and smells like heroin to one Edward Cullen.
With that, onto your question
The Rules
To set some ground rules that are set in the post, I'm presuming both, somehow, are Edward's singer. Now, given that it's Bella and Beauford (fraternal twins), I'd say this is highly unlikely. Singers are rare, and Charlie and Renee don't notably smell like high quality heroin to Edward. More likely, Bella would be the singer, and Beauford would just smell generally nice (but not murder all of Biology nice).
It's also unlikely they'd have the same exact gift, or a gift that expresses itself in the same manner, blocking Edward out of their minds.
But the rules are set, both are Edward's singer, and both have Bella's absurdly powerful gift.
They're for all intents and purposes the same fucking person that somehow got stuffed in two different gendered bodies. The real genesis of this AU: Renee was abducted by aliens while pregnant and her unborn child experimented on. Beauford is, in fact, Bella's identical twin. Beauford is actually Bella's male clone grown in the womb.
After Bella and Beauford reach sexual maturity they'll be beamed back up into space and put into a zoo on Traflamador. (Except not because that would derail this post... The test pilot on Traflamador blew up their planet before Bella and Beauford could phone home. It's not important.)
Bella, Beauford, and the Time Before Forks
Bella and Beauford are probably frightfully codependent for a few reasons that go by the name of Renee. Renee's still out to lunch parenting, and it falls to Bella and Beauford to take care of adult responsibilities from a very young age.
Bella and Beauford come home from school to an empty house, are the ones to go grocery shopping, pay the bills, pay the taxes, do the laundry, pretty much anything that has "adult responsibility" stamped on it.
As a result, they don't really have time to make friends with kids out of school, and they quickly realize that they're the only ones they can depend on in their lives. More, they're the only ones who get each other on any level.
They're both social outcasts, both not what their mother wanted, both have to deal with their mother, and if they ever get in trouble then it's their sibling that they're going to call. Because no one else will ever be there.
I imagine both Bella and Beauford cling to each other tightly with both hands.
Which, of course, makes things weird.
There's getting along with your twin sibling then there's... only getting along with your twin sibling.
Bella and Beauford have lunch together, by themselves, every day in Phoenix. They partner together on everything and are very displeased if they're forced into a group project with anyone else. They participate in all the same activities and if one isn't allowed to do it then the other quits (yes, Beauford tried to get into ballet class, when Renee put her foot down Bella quit right then and there). They wear each other's clothes, if they can't, then those clothes never get worn (Bella never wears the few dresses in her closet). They actually remember their made up secret twin language and lapse into it accidentally from time to time. They're anxious when they're not in the same classes and meet up after every single class to walk down the hallways together. Rather than have any friends, most of their free time is spent at home reading the same books in the same room. They don't even talk about how amazing Heathcliff is, because they know the other knows.
I imagine they channel such the twins from The Shining. Absurdly good looking, beautiful, kids but good god what is wrong with them?
The Decision to Move
When Phil enters the picture seriously, he's not just a new boyfriend, Bella and Beauford sit down to discuss their options. Neither is quite sure how they feel about Phil.
He's awfully young, but he seems to be good for Renee, and is actually capable of paying his taxes (unlike Renee). He can probably be depended upon not to run off and to make sure Renee is taken care of.
However what about Bella and Beau?
With Bella and Beau going to school, they can't travel across the country every few weeks following Phil. Now, in theory, Renee could abandon them to follow Phil. This wouldn't make much of a difference in their daily lives (might, in fact, make things easier in a way as then Beau/Bella can just handle all the cooking rather than Renee even attempting to). However, Renee would never want to admit she's been leaving her kids to their own devices for years, and would feel horribly guilty to leave them behind.
As it is, they've already told Renee she can go on and travel with Phil and she refused, stating she had to be there for her kids.
There's also that Phil keeps trying to bond with Beau especially. As if he thinks it will be easier to bond with the teenage stepson vs. the stepdaughter. That hasn't been going well, Beau would like to avoid that if at all possible.
On the other hand... Forks, wet, cold, and being the children of the police chief's runaway bride.
Ultimately, the pair come to the same decision Bella came to in canon. They want their mother to be happy, feel desperately like third wheels, and if making Renee happy necessitates going to Forks then to Forks they shall go.
At least they'll have each other, and in the end, that's all that really matters.
Arriving in Forks
Bella and Beau arrive in Forks and receive the same reception they would otherwise. But more so. Holy god, the high school population says, it's the Cullens 2.0.
Eerily pale, beautiful, siblings, who are both sensitive intellectuals (and are also weirdly incestuous acting). All the guys want to date Bella and all the girls want to date Beau (some vice versa but they're not admitting that in a public high school in 2005).
The guys (Mike, Tylor, Eric, etc.) aren't all that thrilled by Beau's presence, he's major competition and day one is attracting all the attention. However, they see him as a way to get an in with Bella, he can set them up on a date and put in a good word. If they become his best friend, they have an excuse to go to his house, where Bella will be.
The girls (even Lauren who was initially very pissed off about Bella's sudden popularity) are much the same. Bella's overrated, but good god, that beautiful brother of hers. If they become Bella's best friend, they can have sleep overs, and might be able to see Beau without a shirt on. No matter Bella's stuffy personality, that hot brother is worth it.
Lunch that first day, as a result, is even more awful than it was in canon. Bella and Beauford, while generally oblivious about themselves, are very observant when it becomes to the behavior of others regarding their sibling.
They have an emergency meeting in the truck after school and come to the same conclusion: Bella/Beau, this entire school of hicks wants in your pants. Dump them all.
Both Bella and Beauford end the day supremely annoyed but reconfirm their commitment to this Forks plan. Beau predicts than in six months they'll be losers again and they'll go back to having lunch by themselves.
But what about the Cullens?
Edward, The Cullens, and Biology
As in canon, both Beauford and Bella notice the entrance of the alien procession into the cafeteria and ask "what the fuck?"
Nobody's thrilled about answering, because no one wants to lose Bella/Beauford to the Cullens of all people (the girls sigh with relief as, at least for them, all the lady Cullens seem to be dating one of the other guys. Beau is safe. The possibility of Edward/Beau is one they dare not contemplate in those five seconds.)
Still, Jessica reluctantly gives the run down. These are the Cullens, they moved in two years ago, are absurdly wealthy, beautiful, and supposedly not actually related. They're all dating each other. No, seriously, they are. Except the hot ginger, Edward, but don't bother because he's an ass.
Both Bella and Beauford think Jessica doth protest too much about Edward and internally give the Cullens the same bisexual Bella ranking: Rosalie, Edward (after a bit of thought), and then the rest of them.
Edward, for his own part, notes that he can't seem to hear either's thoughts. Weird. He concludes that the pair are highly overrated and he can't believe the school's so agog over the pair of them. Stupid teenagers.
Then Biology happens.
The pair open the door and good god, Edward Cullen is a demon. Luckily for them, they have each other. There may be an open seat next to Edward Cullen but Bella and Beauford go "NOPE". You see, teacher, we always sit together. No, really, we ALWAYS sit together.
The teacher is weirded out but it's so weird he actually has nothing to say to that. There's only one immediately open seat anyway, and two new students, so they're clearly in trouble with seating arrangements anyway. So he says, "Um, sure, go sit with Angela I guess." Angela is now in an overcrowded table with both Bella and Beauford, her original partner gleefully goes to sit with hottie Edward (then is in dismay sitting with Edward because this guy looks terrifying today). The twins, throughout Biology, are staring down Edward Cullen.
Edward, of course, has smelled the scent of the gods and is going through his personal hell on earth. He devises his many schemes of how he's going to murder Biology before he can get to the pair of them (Angela, for the record, gets smashed into a wall for the honor of being in Edward's way). Then, he doesn't know which he'd start on, he can't tell which scent comes from which. He tells himself he'll toss a coin, heads the boy goes first, then tails the girl.
Still, thinking of Carlisle's sad, disapproving, face as Edward massacres a room filled with children allows Edward to hold on through Biology. He'll murder them after school. Then of course he's able to clear his head and flees to Alaska.
In the meantime, thanks to being hyperaware of their sibling, and now having someone to talk to and confirm their suspicions with: Edward Cullen is Ted Bundy. This guy is creepy, dangerous, and in that moment it looked as if he was going to kill one or both of them. Bella/Beauford would be alright, though disappointed, if they were murdered then left in a dumpster. But their sibling die and meet that same awful fate? Not ever allowed to happen.
Bella and Beau have the world's most tense drive home and tense night taking turns taking guard and sleeping in the same room. Every time one questions if they're, maybe, just maybe, a little paranoid about this, the other confirms that "NOPE, THAT DUDE WAS SCARY".
They can't tell Charlie, he wouldn't believe them and they have no evidence, but when Edward tries to climb through their window maybe one of them will get in a good hit with the baseball bat (they won't, they're both debilitatingly clumsy).
The next day, to their confusion and relief, Edward Cullen isn't at school. He's not there the day after that either, or the day after that...
Beau and Bella start to relax, if only a little bit.
Edward, Alaska, and the Prodigal Son Returns
Edward in Alaska calms down and goes through the same thought process he did in canon. He keeps picturing the twins' faces, his obsession beginning to blossom, and convinces himself that he can't let these unremarkable humans get in the way of his life and his family.
After a week of brooding, much to Carlisle's horror, Edward returns to Forks and goes straight back to school. Specifically, he wants to do damage control with the twins and see just how much they actually noticed.
This goes worse than in canon.
First, Edward has to approach their shared table with Angela like a loser. There, Bella and Beau clearly don't want to talk at him, at all, and both clearly vividly remember exactly what happened last Biology class.
Edward barely gets a word in before he has to go to his seat. When he notices Bella, Beau, and Angela get their lab done as quickly as him (thanks to Bella and Beau), he tries again.
Bella and Beau both ask to go to the bathroom. (Yes, teacher, at the same time. Don't question this.) They don't come back. Edward, after ten minutes, also goes to the bathroom. He finds the pair in their giant, red, truck in the parking lot, deep in conversation (trying to figure out what the fuck is up with Edward Cullen).
He approaches them again, being as charming as possible. This has the opposite effect. Directed towards only them, Beau/Bella would probably let this slide. Directed towards Beloved Sibling, their "DANGER, WILL ROBINSON" sirens are blaring in their head. Beau floors it, and the pair tear out of the parking lot as fast as the truck will take them, they're telling Charlie they're taking a sick day. What will they do next Biology class? FUCK IF THEY KNOW.
Edward, standing in the parking lot with his mouth open, feels very very embarrassed and ashamed. He is a man eating demon and these two are perfectly aware of it. The rest of the Cullens find him there not long after, they find this both sad and hilarious.
Bella and Beau Get Hit by a Van
Well, this would all be well and good. Edward tells himself that if the pair are so determined to avoid him then he'll just avoid them. Problem solved. More, the pair don't seem to be chatterboxes, there's no weird rumors spreading about Edward Cullen or his siblings. At least, no more than usual.
Instead, it seems that everyone's trying to ask the twins to the dance, and are very confused when the twins say that they're going with each other. Sibling policy. You see. (They don't see, nobody sees, this is weird.)
Then it happens. Bella nearly gets hit by a van, Edward saves her, with Beau as a full not-concussed witness. FUCK. Bella and Beau travel to the hospital, Edward driving along behind them, and then after Carlisle checks Bella out they have their awkward talk.
Bella wants to insist that Edward was clearly the one who saved her, with his strange superhuman strength, but thanks to twin telepathy (which either is actual telepathy or is just reading twin body language, who even knows) knows that Beau wants her to shut up. They say nothing, the truth isn't important.
Instead, Beau states that he was the one who pulled Bella out of the way, Bella's just confused. Edward stares at Beau like he's an alien. Beau just smiles, thanks Edward for his concern, then throws Edward out of the room.
Bella and Beau madly discuss that Edward's clearly not human. More, while he saved her life today and that was very noble of him, neither has truly forgotten how he was in that first day of Biology. More, did you see him now? He clearly wanted, desperately for Bella to not remember what happened. He crushed that van like a pretzel, what if they told him that they saw him? What would happen to them? Beau doesn't want to take chances, not even for the truth, and in retrospect Bella doesn't either. Now is not the time to look gifted horses in the mouth.
Given Bella's injured, Beau's on full guard duty that night.
Meanwhile, the Cullens have their vote. It's even more dramatic, because instead of just one innocent, injured, witness, there's two witnesses and one was completely uninjured. Carlisle is utterly appalled that Rosalie genuinely suggests murdering them both so she doesn't have to move. He's more appalled when Edward reveals that he believes the twins may believe that Edward... wishes them harm for having witnessed his heroics.
Because the irony being that the twins are right, the family is voting on this very issue right now. And what does that say about all of them?
Thankfully for Beau and Bella, the vote goes very similarly to canon. Jasper's not convinced until Alice has her vision.
And she drops the bomb. Edward's in love with Bella, Beau will be Edward's best friend and Bella Alice's, and both Bella and her brother will be turned and join the coven.
(Now, what Alice doesn't tell Edward is that, actually, Edward's in love with them both. It's safer to say that Edward's in love with the woman, as that's what Edward will far more readily accept. Throwing Beau into that mix would just make things very messy, if Alice wants her best friend and Edward's happy ending then she has to be smart about this.)
The family has a similar reaction. Carlisle gives his, "Well, alright then" and the family doesn't move. Edward, in despair and self-hatred, heads to the Swan house to see sleeping Bella for himself.
And lo and behold, Beau has been waiting for him. Beau tries to smash Edward's face in with a bat. Unfortunately, a) Edward's a vampire, b) Beau misses.
Beau and Edward end up talking, man to man, while Bella is sleeping. Edward decides that, yes, oh woe, he is in love with Beauford's sister and confesses as much (while also confessing that he might, you know, actually be dangerous). Beau suggests that Edward stay far away from his sister.
No, there's nothing Beau can do to stop Edward. Yes, he is just a pathetic human even more pathetic than most, but he promises that he will make Edward and his family's life hell on Earth if Edward ever thinks of assaulting his sister.
Edward protests he would never, Beau points out that Edward just climbed through his injured sister's window in the dead of night. Edward... tries and fails to explain away that one.
He actually does succeed in that he explains that Bella was in danger from... his siblings. Edward had come to protect Bella, to make sure none came to harm her. It's not necessarily his siblings' fault, it's complicated but... Well, Edward was trying to be somewhat noble.
Then something strange happens. Edward finds himself fascinated by this Beauford Swan. Such courage in the world's weakest, no most delicate, body. Look at those eyelashes, his big dark eyes, his perfectly shaped features. This boy is beautiful, as beautiful as his sister, and just as courageous as she is. And look at him now, nobly facing down a demon he knows he cannot win against for the sake of his sister.
How virtuous.
Edward tells himself that what he's feeling is kinship and admiration for Beauford Swan. Bella could not have a worthier brother. Edward leaves with the promise that he'll respect Beau's wishes (Beau doesn't believe that for a second).
The next morning, Beau tells Bella that Edward's the world's biggest creep and that the Twin Watch is not stopping anytime soon. They're going to need to make a big purchase of coffee.
Edward and His Torment
As in canon, Edward decides he should nobly stay out of Bella's life. He'll see if either twin really does talk (they don't) and then he'll ignore them until they disappear. They will forget him.
They don't, but they do discuss him. See, after much pondering, the twins realize that Edward truly is a Grade A hottie. More, he's so mysterious and inhuman. In retrospect, his saving Bella's life goes a long way, and for all that he's been... menacing, he's never truly threatened them and does seem intent on protecting Bella. More, he seems to be keeping his promise: he's staying out of Bella's life and he hasn't been back to the house since (he has, but they haven't caught him, Edward waits until they both crash until he can sneak in and stare at them both).
And he's never lied about being dangerous. Their glares soften into pondering glances, wondering just what the truth of this Edward Cullen and his family really is, and wonder what it'd be like to let him into their small, insular, world that no one before has ever managed to breach in the way he has.
Bella doesn't believe he's truly interested in her, despite Beau's insistence, and wonders if he's interested in Beau. Beau, for his own part, doesn't believe Edward's interested in him and insists that he's clearly very interested in Bella.
Reluctantly, the pair conclude that Edward is something likely very dangerous, against Edward's will, but benign. Whatever it was they sensed from Edward that first day, it was not something in his control.
Helping this is Edward enabling the mysterious mystery by breaking. He can't stay away from the twins. He tells them that he's tired of staying away from them, that they shouldn't be friends, that he doesn't want to be friends (but wants to be something hint, hint, wink, wink). Except he's convinced he and Beauford are friends, dual protectors of the angel Bella Swan. If he stares a little too much at Beau's perfect figure then that's because he's the perfect, male, version of his perfect sister.
Anyway, the twins go to Long Beach with the others and the twins are now just too curious. Edward's giving them nothing and they must know. Bella flirts with Jake for information, Beau is appalled that this works, and they hear the cold ones story. That night, they both have the prophetic Slayer dream: Edward is a vampire.
Bella tells Beauford that she knows three things. One is that she's in love with Edward. Beau's not sure how to take that for a second but, being Bella's twin and on the same weird wavelength, he gets it. He's in love with Edward too.
Neither finds it strange that they both confess to being in love with the same demon and that they see no conflict of interest in this.
The pair go to Port Angeles to help Jessica and Angela pick up dresses. (Angela and Jessica aren't sure why a man is coming, but they've learned not to question this twin thing). Bella and Beau ultimately decided not to go to the dance, too risky giving the deluge of invitations they received, and instead they'll be headed to Seattle that weekend. They claim this is not a date, Angela and Jessica just stare.
Due to Beau being with Bella, though the pair get hopelessly lost looking for the book store, Bella doesn't get followed by rapists. Edward shows up anyway, as Alice saw the possibility, and takes the pair of them to romantic Italian dinner. It's weird.
He then drives them home and Bella blurts it out. Edward's a vampire, she and Beau know. Edward has his miniature meltdown and realizes that these pair of siblings forgive him this. Beau, beautiful man that he is, is giving Edward his beloved sister and Bella is giving not only herself but her wonderful brother's hand in friendship.
Edward invites them both, that's right, them both, to the meadow. Neither thinks this is strange. And when they get there. Boom, it's over, any chance to question this is gone. Both Bella and Beau are seduced by Edward's sparkling chest and his quotes about lions.
He rests his head on Bella's chest but puts his right hand on Beau's. They sit like that. For hours.
The Cullens (Again)
Well, this went from weird to fucking weirder. It was weird enough when Edward became obsessed with this rando teenage girl. Now, it turns out that Edward's a horn dog panting after bisexual twins, clearly intending to romance them both at the same time.
Carlisle dearly tries to have an intervention. He sends Esme to do it, as in canon, this doesn't work (Esme is perfectly fine with Edward's twincest fetish and thinks it's wonderful).
Alice tells a dubious Jasper that Edward and Beau are just friends. Jasper doesn't believe her, but he's not sure what to even say.
Emmett is desperately holding in Edward sandwich jokes. Desperately.
When Beau and Bella are invited to the house (together of course), the entire family has no idea what to say to them. At all. They don't know how to process this. Rosalie is actually there this time, because somebody needs to warn these two about what Edward really wants, but then they're too weird.
It's all just too weird.
And... the rest of canon happens.
The baseball game occurs, James dies, Victoria's not sure which Swan she should target and so she targets them both anyway. They're in the same damn place so it makes 0 difference.
Bella and Beau joint hallucinate Hallucination Edward, somehow, and get even weirdly more codependent in their zombie fugue state. This tanks their popularity as now there's no denying the incest. Bella and Beau don't care.
Bella and Beau reach out to get Jake to build them the motorcycles. Jake doesn't necessarily want Beau around, the dude's weird and getting in the way of Bella time, but alright. Bella and Jake's friendship doesn't take off because Bella's codependent on Beau.
They do learn about the wolves though thanks to Jake's crush on Bella. Jake never realizes that he's coming in third place not only to Edward Cullen but to Beauford Swan. He thinks he has a chance. That poor boy.
Bella and Beau jump off the cliff together, convinced they weren't committing suicide.
Alice returns, gets Bella and Beau to go to Volterra, because Edward has to see that they're both alive. There's a joyful reunion, Aro is really weirded out by this whole damn thing and has a five second pause after touching Marcus' hand. "Well." he says afterwards, "You and your brother are close. I see."
They get to go home, Aro insists they turn. Eclipse happens. Edward proposes marriage to Bella. Neither Beau nor Bella are thrilled (mostly about the marriage and also about the question of how the twin enters this equation) but ultimately Bella accepts. Bella and Edward marry publicly.
Beau is invited for the honeymoon. Edward, Bella, nor Beau question this. Everyone else does. A lot. On Isle Esme, the three confirm their commitment to each other: they have a secret marriage. Edward and Beau are both convinced they're not in a relationship. Bella and Beau are convinced they're not incestuous.
Sex is had by... someone. Unclear who.
Bella gets pregnant, this seems to confirm Edward must be the father but... Bella and Beau are both very strange, almost alien, and very gifted. There is some red in their hair. Questions the Cullens dare not speak aloud are thought, Edward doesn't seem to notice.
TL;DR Basically, the books still happen but Edward is cuckolded and enables twincest.
...
I did not see this one coming guys. I swear. I did not.
#twilight#twilight meta#twilight headcanon#twilight renaissance#tw incest#cw incest#bella swan#beauford swan#edward cullen#anti edward cullen#bella/beauford#edward/bella#anti edward/bella#edward/beauford#anti edward/beauford#edward/bella/beauford#anti edward/bella/beauford#meta#headcanon#opinion
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Bnha Characters reacting to when you quit your job
bakugou
your steps were quiet as you tried to work up the energy to unlock your front door. Your hands sweating and cold when you finally got the energy to put the key in the lock a deep exhale leaving your lips when you finally walked in.
Your Body only carrying you to your kitchen counter before you dropped your keys and bag on the same counter your body now rested against.
The room heating up and shifting from the ice quiet atmosphere youd created when you felt strong arms wrap around your waist and pull you back to meet a hard chest
Small kisses being planted on the side of your neck as you let out another sigh of relief as you spoke trying not to drown in the comfort being given to you “ baby “
Your body shook as you heard a deep grunt of acknowledgment “ we — we need to talk “
you felt as another set of kisses were placed to your neck before his head snuggled into the spot between your neck and shoulder “ I— I think I made a mistake“
You bit at your lip as you kept going “ I— I was trying my best to stick up for myself y’know like you told me”
“ mm—and did you“
“ I did —I mean I did stick up for myself and I had to I needed to bu—”
“ slowly losing interest y/n “
you let out a shallow cough “ but I think I did it at the wrong time “
his body stood up a bit straighter head still remaining in the same place somehow “ baby I —i lost my job “
You felt as your boyfriends body went hard almost as if he was trying not to slam your own body into the floor in anger his grip around your waist only getting tighter “ like I said I — I wrong time“
“ wrong time? — y/n wrong place “ he screamed as he jolted your soul out of your already shaken figure. His head flying back to look at you conveying all the anger and annoyance he held, “ what the fuck do we do now “
you let out a small laugh to try to ease the tension “ we — we rely on your hero check ? “
You watched as he sucked his teeth and moved out of the kitchen “ I can barely feed a fucking roach with my salary y/n “ his voice getting louder as he walked into the living room you following closely behind “ i — i can barely feed you — us — y/n this is why we don’t have little crumb snatchers running around now “
his voice deep and heavy “ cause we’re broke do you get that babe ? huh no — fuck — you— fuck fuck fuck you gotta go back — you can’t just be chilling around the fucking house while i’m working my ass off that’s not how starting a family works y/n “
“ baby it’s just until I can get a new job “
“ tch— and how long will that take y/n “
“ well I— “
“ huh months ? “
“ well n— “
“ couple weeks “
“ I mean hopefull— “
“ babe you don’t even fucking know “ he sighed as he griped the skin on the bridge of his nose “ so fucking stupid — so so so fucking stupid “
the room went quiet as your eyes dropped to the ground. “ wel— no — I — I don’t know kats” you shook your head “ I— I really don’t“
“ and that’s the problem y/n “ he screamed eyes finally opening to look at you.
God, he loved you but seriously you just didn’t think sometimes
It’s not that he was calling you stupid it’s just that he really really loved you
He loved that you listened to him. That whenever he gave advice you heard it and went with it.
The night he told you to speak up he was honestly just fucking with you. He always forgets that he has someone who loves him now meaning he’s taken seriously. He always forgets he’s not in high school anymore.
He can’t say something crazy and asshole—ish and expect to just be ignored. He has someone that loves him and will truly listen.
Your not the stupid one
nor the one in the wrong he is
and he knows he is because he heard everything you said about your situation. Yet, he knew you were different from him whereas he had been speaking his mind for years regardless of ranks.
You couldn’t.
You had a job where everything relied on ranks and status. You couldn’t just say whatever the fuck you wanted to like he could and yet he convinced you that night to speak up whenever your boss gave you extra work you didn’t wanna do.
His eyes felt heavy and so did his body his brain automatically beating himself up as he stared at you imagining the rough day youd had. If he was pissed off with the current situation he could only imagine how you felt.
Someone who hated to rely on others yet, now having to rely on their boyfriend.
“ come here “ your eyes lit up at the statement as your tired body wobbled over and into bakugous arms. Head hitting his chest as he crushed you “ I love you and i’m proud of you “
your heart sank.
“ fuck those idiots you only have room for one anyways and hes— fuck trust me I know i’m enough “
Shoto
“ so “
“ so “
You sat on the couch legs splayed out in front of you and hands playing with the tassels of the pillows placed next to you.
God you loved these pillows. You actually remember the day you bought them.
Y’know back when you had money
“ y/n “ you watched as shoto shifted uncomfortably on the couch next to you “ my love what are you doing home “
He shook his head confused at the body placed comfortably next to his own “ your not supposed to be home for “ he looked down at his watch moving his suit jacket up his arm to create space and to make sure he was seeing the time correctly “ for 7 more hours “
you let out a short laugh “ you sound like you just got caught cheating sho “
his eyebrows crinkled together as he stared at you in disgust “ y/n I would never “
His hand moved to be placed on your thigh “my love is that what you think ? — if that’s why your here then I can assure you tha—I mean honestly if so I would never be stupid enough to disrespect you in our home— you could’ve went to my office at least I mea— “
“ I lost my job shoto “
The air shifted as the hand on your thigh suddenly felt colder than before “ I— I lost my job “
you took a deep breath shaking your head “ it’s a long story on why but i’ve been leaving the house — pretending really— to go to work “
You chuckled “ god i’m sucha bad person “ your small chuckle turned into a hearty laugh as you felt your body go slack “ A fucking horrible timekeeper too if I managed to forget my husband gets off before me on weekends “
“ do not say these things about yourself “
“ it’s not like it’s a lie “ your tear filled eyes coming up to look at his. ” right “
“ I will not stand for this y/n “
“ for what — having an unemployed s/o—i mean you already have one so not much to do about that “
you scoffed “ why don’t you want a housewife ? huh“ you smiled “ I can wear the skirts for you y’know with the aprons cook you dinner and maybe we can have kids y’know we can even get —“
“ enough “
your body shook your eyes widened facing the 6 ft male now towering over you “ your always joking about serious things and I — I don’t understand “ his eyebrows creasing in desperate need to understand you. Eyes darting around your face “ how “
his voice going deeper as he got angrier “ y/n you lost your job“ his eyes grew wide “ do you realize how serious this is “
“ wh— “ you shook your head letting out a short scoff “ of course I do —I mean sho i’m the one who qui—lost it “
“ no you clearly don’t “ he scoffed “ not if your sitting here making jokes in my face “
His mouth quirked up in disgust “ it’s almost insulting — disgusting really “
“ wh— sho—“ you felt as a tear fell from your eye “ baby what could be so disgusting huh ? so ‘ insulting ‘ about me choosing to leave huh “
his eyes softened “ because of your reason to leave “
“ my reason ? “
“ my love I know you — I know you didn’t get fired and I know you wouldn’t just leave you loved it there “
your head dropped as your fiddled with your fingers “ so that means something led you to make that life changing decision and it hurts me that you were forced to make it “
Your heart broke, he was right he was always right, for days at work youd been dealing with an overbearing co worker who would tell you to do everything they didn’t feel like doing and when you finally decided to say no to them
They went and told your boss. Who even though you’d been working there longer than your so called coworker still believed everything they were told.
That was the day that you sadly found out your job favored years over hard work.
Due to the other person being there longer you were trumped in telling your story. It was seen as not necessary because , someone who was there for so long would have no reason to lie on someone like you.
A newbie
“ someone made you quit this job “
“ sho no they— I decided “
You felt as the couch shifted from him kicking it. You thinking he was moving to grab his shoes except walking past them and unlocking the door instead.
“ baby where are you going — we need to talk about how we’re going to split the bills now that i— “
“ i’ll handle it “
“ shoto you can’t put everything on your dads card we’re not “ you let out a soft exhale “ we’re not children anymore “
“ i’ll pay for it all myself — and you can be my little housewife “ he scoffed as your expression grew sour “ it was so funny a moment ago right “
“ shoto i’m not gonna ask again where are you going “
“ where else “
your eyebrows came together in a furrow “ wh— “
“ my love you work for my company ? obviously who ever I put in charge “ he shrugged walking barefoot to his car unlocking the door “ isn’t doing a very good job if they fire their bosses s/o ? “
He got into the drivers seat as he turned the car on and reversed the car “ needs to learn respect no ? so i’ll just have them switch places with you“ he smiled softly “ i’ll see you when I get home “
His once furious eyes turning soft at your body hidden in pajamas “ go inside baby —it’s cold —go order us some takeout i’ll be back in a little ok “
“ sho “
“ just let me handle this —i love you and i’ll be right back my love—go “
You shook your head softly “ go y/n “
#bnha shoto todoroki#bnha shoto#bnha todoroki#bnha bakugou#todoroki bnha#bnha bakugo katsuki#bnha fluff#bnha#mha fanfiction#mha angst#mha bakugou#todoroki mha#mha#mha x reader#mha x y/n#bakugou angst#katsuki bakugo imagine#bakugou headcanons#bakugou imagine#katsuki bakugo x reader#shoto x reader#shoto imagine#todoroki shoto x reader#shoto x y/n#mha shoto#katsuki bakugo fluff#mha x you#mha imagines#todoroki imagine
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lovebug- caliban imagine
sup. fic inspired by my favorite song in THE world. not as soft mushy as it may sound I promise caliban is a nice lil sarcastic SHIT with a big ole crush. mild sabrina bashing but its funny in context and I think it’s the way family behaves. reader is a Spellman, not a witch but DOES know about the supernatural/is part of the supernatural world. here with my once in a blue moon post lol. feedback would be appreciated!
called her for the first time yesterday
finally found the missing part of me
felt so close but you were far away
left me without anything to say
Caliban was not an idiot- he knew not to underestimate the Spellman half-witch that had gone and declared herself queen of hell. So he’d taken the liberty of learning everything he could about her, noting her habits and schedule and the people she surrounded herself with.
And then he found you.
You weren’t a witch- at least, he hadn’t found your name in his diligent searching through the Book of the Beast- but you were something. That he was sure of. There was something slightly off about your presence, tinged a little glittery, though not altogether unpleasant.
No, not unpleasant at all, he mused as he watched you make your way towards your car. Tucked into a little yellow sundress, you stood out like a ray of sunshine in the wave of doom-and-gloom that hallmarked high school. The school bell rang out behind you, and Caliban felt his knees go disgustingly weak as you smiled brilliantly at Sabrina through the crowd.
It was a stupid, stupid decision that Caliban would never have made in the right state of mind, but he reasoned that pissing off Sabrina was validation enough to get your attention. He ducked into your path on purpose, taking advantage of your momentary distraction as he gently bumped into you. oops.
You collided with a solid wall, books tumbling out of your hands as strong arms reached out to steady you. You let out a surprised yelp at the collision, peeking up curiously as the wall you’d hit laughed.
Oh, well that was a sight for sore eyes.
The golden haired stranger holding you was, well, gorgeous. Bright blue eyes peered down at you as he grinned, and you felt the whole world shutter around you. You’d definitely been watching too many soap operas with your auntie, but goddamn it if you weren't positively putty.
“Hi there, stranger.” You giggled nervously, and Caliban suddenly remembered he’d had his arms around you for far too long to be acceptable. He reluctantly retreated, feeling something claw a little uncomfortably in his chest.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” He apologized, moving to pick up your books as you bent down to retrieve them. He ran a hand through his hair in barely concealed bashfulness, unsure of why he felt so... unsettled, all of a sudden.
“It’s alright, my head was in the clouds.” You waved off his apology, accepting the books he offered you with a grateful smile. “Are you new here? I don’t think we’ve met.”
“He’s new here!” Sabrina’s shrill voice interrupted, training her icy glare on Caliban, who fought back a smirk. “This is Caliban- he’s from... Australia! Yeah, down under!”
“Oh, I can show you around tomorrow! I know how scary it can be to be new here.” You patted his arm sympathetically, ignoring Sabrina’s stream of indignant protests. “I was with student council all day. If you’re a senior, we probably have most of the same classes.”
Caliban had shit to do. Caliban had trials to plan and souls to torture. But you were looking at him- all warmth and sunshine, and Sabrina’s look of pure horror only sweetened the deal.
“I’ll see you in class tomorrow then, sunshine.”
so worth it.
now i'm speechless, over the edge
i'm just breathless
i never thought that i'd catch this love bug again
hopeless, head over heels in the moment
i never thought that i'd get hit by this love bug again
Caliban didn't understand why the mortals all bemoaned high school as hell on earth. It certainly wasn't so bad once you got past the wave of body spray and the questionable cafeteria food. In fact, darting to class with a pretty girl beside him was pretty enjoyable, all things considered.
You’d spent the day introducing him to the other students, passing him silly notes in class, and had even tugged him from the lunch room to hang out with your friends in the library. He learned that you pretty much did it all- student council, cheerleader, top of your class- all while managing to somehow know the name of everyone you passed with a smile in the halls. You were silly and sweet— smart as all hell with a wit that certainly kept the clay prince on his toes.
and he was smitten.
The groan that escaped your painted lips was delightfully sinful as you slumped in the seat beside him in english class. “I hate Romeo and Juliet. How do two people fall in love in a few days anyhow? And Mrs. Willows always makes us reenact the scenes, and it’s so corny.” The blush that colored your cheeks as he looked at you in concern was something he did his best to commit to memory- cheesiness be damned, Caliban was enjoying himself far too much.
Caliban smirked, skimming through the booklet he’d been passed as the teacher droned. The prince of hell had a certain flare for the dramatics, and Sabrina’s glare burning into the back of his head only fueled his antics. He had one scene in mind, and it was the scene that was certain to kill four birds with one stone- totally make you fall in love with him, he would somehow manage to kiss you (that part was a work in progress), piss off Sabrina, and also- piss off Sabrina.
And kiss you. So maybe five parts. Damn it, Caliban was going to have to make a list.
“Partners?” He whispered softly, gently tugging at your hand as the teacher sat back down. Caliban’s eyes were alight with a tinge of mischief that you either failed to notice or were simply amused by- and your answering nod was more than a little bashful. “We can do my favorite scene.”
“If you say the first kiss scene, I’m punching the daylights out of you.” You warned, playfully nudging his knee with your own. “It will be unkind and I will not feel bad.”
“My lady wounds me.” He dramatically rested his hand above his heart. “And we absolutely have to do this scene-” He raised his hand to silence your half-hearted protests- “because Billy told the guys in calculus that he was specifically going to be pissed if we did this scene.”
Okay, so maybe he’d stretched the truth a little bit. But Caliban knew that the mention of your seedy ex-boyfriend (who you’d enlightened him about during lunch) would absolutely get you to agree to the scene. And it wasn't like he’d lied— Billy Marlin’s glare was nearly as icy as Sabrina’s. And, it wasn't like the way Billy looked at you- with something akin to possession in his eyes- totally made Caliban want to fast track the kid to damnation right then and there. Nope.
“We can meet up later today to practice? I have cheerleading practice after school, but I’m free after that!” You grinned at him, and he felt the tension ease out of his shoulders as you rested your hand on his arm. The gesture was so effortless- but to Caliban, who’d never really experienced connection like this- you reduced him to all but clay again.
“I can drive you home after practice?” Caliban offered, enjoying the yelp that Sabrina let out from the back of the classroom. He shouldered your bag as the bell sounded, noting the way your eyes softened even further at the gesture. “We don't really have cheerleaders down under, you know.”
“You’re welcome to stay and watch.” You shrugged, ignoring the way your heart thudded erratically as he walked you to the locker room. “It won’t be too long today, and Sabrina has a date with Nick after, anyways.”
it was really just too easy.
i can't get your smile out of my mind
i think about your eyes all the time
you're beautiful but you don't even try
(you don't even, don't even try)
modesty is just so hard to find
Caliban wasn’t sure if he regretted his earlier offer. Sure, the sight of you tucked into the tight cheerleading uniform (did they make them that short on purpose?) was pretty much the pinnacle of male fantasy, and the smiles and winks you’d thrown his way whenever he caught your eye during your routines were something else altogether.
But getting the sight out of his brain as you rambled aimlessly in the car about today’s chapters of Dante’s Inferno, while he simultaneously tried to focus on the road and definitely not the way your skirt hitched on the leather seat...
Yeah, Caliban was pretty sure he was in love.
You weren’t too far off, in all honesty. Caliban’s large hands had a firm grip on the steering wheel, and you took the time to admire further up his toned arms as he drove. His hair fell in loose, windswept waves, and his side profile looked like it was sculpted by the freaking gods. Every so often he would glance your way, his perfect lips parting to reveal his perfect teeth and perfect smile and gods-
Yeah, you had the lovebug bad.
“So how did you meet Sabrina?” You questioned innocently enough, and Caliban had to restrain the urge to spill all of the hell-related gossip to you. How Sabrina had managed to keep all of her throne-seeking from you was beyond him, but it certainly added a thrill to his pursuit of you.
“I had some administrative issues the other day and ran into her. She doesn’t like me too much, I’ve gathered.” Caliban was careful not to lie- his entanglement with you had the added perk of pissing off your dearest cousin, but it was genuine on Caliban’s end. He found he didn’t really want to lie about things.
“Sabrina is... touchy.” You offered carefully, shifting in your seat as you pointed out directions to your home. “I don’t really understand why she doesn't like you, to be honest. I was actually going to have a word with her about being nice- you’ve been so sweet, and I was the new kid too a few years back. It's hard to find your place in the established dynamic of a small town.”
Caliban doubted you’d had too much of an issue, with the way the halls seemed to light up around you, but the accompanying smile you gave him was bright enough to soothe his imagined woes. “It’s alright, I reckon she’ll get used to having me around.”
“Used to you?” You mused with a giggle, leaning on the console in a gesture that brought your face much, much closer to his own. He was overwhelmed with your floral scent- something soft and summery and altogether you.
“I plan on being around you a lot, sunshine. If you don’t mind.” He grinned, turning to face you momentarily at the stop sign. Your eyes were wide with hardly concealed surprise at his words, and he watched the realization of the close proximity of his face flicker through them.
It happened so fast that Caliban was almost certain he imagined it- but your eyes had definitely glanced at his lips. The blush that tinged your cheeks as you pulled back confirmed it, and in a moment of calculated risk, Caliban moved to rest his hand on your exposed thigh.
“No, I wouldn’t mind at all.”
If Caliban squinted, he could almost picture that he was a normal teenage boy, driving a beautiful, normal girl home from school. The sinking sun was peeking through the windows, bathing you in an ethereal glow, and - at least for right now- everything was perfect.
you were perfect.
now i'm speechless, over the edge
i'm just breathless
i never thought that i'd catch this love bug again
hopeless, head over heels in the moment
i never thought that i'd get hit by this love bug again
Caliban draped himself across your bed, a languid smirk on his lips as you kicked haphazardly placed piles of clothes into your closet.
“I promise I’m not usually this messy,” you apologized with a sheepish smile, shoving a mass of shoes under your bed, “okay, that's a lie. I’m always this messy, I just didn’t expect company.”
Caliban hardly minded. It was adorable how embarrassed you were, and he took the time to take in your bedroom (drawn from his reverie only by the occasional delighted shout when you found a shirt you’d thought had been sacrificed to the laundry gods, or worse, Sabrina’s room).
The first thing Caliban noticed was the books. While your clothes lay in scattered piles, all of your books were meticulously organized and lovingly tucked into shelves that took up an entire wall of the room. Sabrina may have answered that Caliban’s only hobby was torturing babies (or her, which was the same thing, really— and also, what the hell? Caliban may have enjoyed the occasional soul flaying, but only when it was well deserved!)— but Caliban loved to read.
What was one lifetime in one world, when he could learn of a thousand others in just as many universes? Immortality could grow dull, and eternity had to be spent somehow. Caliban tried not to smile as you precariously placed the book that had found its way onto your nightstand back into its place, and supposed that it might be far more enjoyable with someone else.
You seemed satisfied with your damage control, and slumped onto the bed dramatically with a groan. It was then that Caliban’s hand found a stray victim of your clothing massacre.
“Nice.” He grinned, and you peeked up from your playbook to find him dangling a pink lace bra.
Shit.
“Give me that!” You lunged, but Caliban was too fast. He quickly moved them from your reach, laughing wildly as you wrestled him desperately for the bra.
“You are the worst.” A groan escaped you, and you huffed in fake-defeat as Caliban smirked victoriously at your retreat. You leaped at the chance, tackling Caliban with all your might. While momentarily surprised, he reacted quickly and shifted so that he was now pinning you to the bed, his hair dangling wildly in your face as you both laughed.
Caliban’s face was so close that you could see the flecks of green in his eyes. For a moment, his eyes seemed to flicker to your lips, but in the seconds it took for you to find your voice again, you’d lost your nerve.
“We should get back to the scene.”
The moment was broken, and Caliban retreated with a bashful look on his face. He ran a hand through his hair and moved to sit across from you, his cheeks tinted a little red as he politely handed you back your intimates and pretended to shield his eyes when you tossed it somewhere. You’d never been so freaking embarrassed in your life, but Caliban was smiling so softly at you, like you were—
“If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this: my lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.” He motioned around with his hands dramatically, tone playful and light.
You were so dead. Caliban was freaking made for this romantic swooning nonsense that you’d tried to protest nearly the whole ride home, Billy Marlin be damned.
Giggling nervously in what you hoped seemed scene-appropriate, you tried your best to forget being a horny teenager to instead play a horny teenager. “Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this, for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.”
Caliban’s voice lowered, a smile still tugging at his lips as he took your hands in his own. “Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?”
“Ay, pilgrim.” Your own voice softened in turn as Caliban began to trace mindless patterns on the backs of your hands with his thumbs, “lips that they must use in prayer.”
“O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. They pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.” Caliban’s eyes were soft, and you imagined that Shakespeare had pictured the man in front of you when putting the words to paper. The words fell so naturally from his lips and he seemed engrossed in the scene— he was, for lack of a better word, enchanting.
“Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.” Your voice was hardly more than a breathless whisper, the proximity of your faces and the intimacy (however imagined) stealing the air from your lungs.
Caliban paused, his eyes meeting yours intently as if searching for something. Whatever it was, he seemed to find it as he took your face in both of his hands.
“Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.”
It was all too much. You could hardly be blamed for kissing him as fiercely as you did.
It was like fireworks, like every cheesy romance novel and play (cough, Romeo and Juliet) claimed it would be. You’d had plenty of kisses before, but never one that melted your brain like this. You forgot all about the scene, about how not real this was supposed to be as your hands tangled in his windswept hair and he pulled you onto his lap.
It was Caliban who first pulled away, only just so that your noses were touching. He was breathing heavily, eyes blown wide— and you felt your whole face turn red as reality consumed you again. “I am so sorry, I’ll just—”
“Where do you think you’re going, Juliet?” Caliban’s hands firmly gripped your hips, preventing you from moving away. His fingers thumbed the band of your skirt, and his next words were a whisper against your lips.
“Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged.”
kissed her for the first time yesterday
everything i wished that it would be
suddenly i forgot how to speak
hopeless, breathless, baby can't you see?
Caliban was in love. He’d spent the next three weeks with you reciting Romeo and Juliet, sharing shakes at Dr. Cerberus, and tugging you into empty classroom and closets at every opportunity to kiss you senseless. Every moment not spent with you was at least somewhat occupied by the thought of you, and Caliban found he wasn’t the least bit upset about it.
And Sabrina was pissed.
If she’d hated him before, she positively loathed him now. It was the latest point of contention between yourself and your darling cousin, who’d you taken to threatening with various kitchen utensils and promises to tell the aunties she’d been sneaking out to make her behave. And Caliban, for his part, was perfectly polite— even though he still had every intention of taking the throne from the inexperienced witch who promised to destroy the balance of heaven and hell.
Which presented Caliban’s own latest dilemma. He was going to have to tell you eventually— and in a way that didn't make you totally hate him. He had a plan. Okay, maybe a skeletal plan. Or no plan. Yeah, Caliban was going to wing it.
After today. He just had to make it through your reenactment of Romeo and Juliet with no demonic catastrophes or maiming Blly, and then he would tell you everything.
But even that was too much to ask.
Sabrina burst through the english classroom doors, yelling in barely concealed panic that there was a BIG problem and the principal needed Caliban now.
Caliban moved to leave with an apologetic smile in your direction, which you were absolutely not having. Despite your current frustration with Sabrina, she looked downright terrified, and you were both concerned for your cousin and overwhelmed with a gut feeling that something was up.
After a few moments, you excused yourself to use the restroom.
You hauled ass to the gym, where the screaming sounded to be coming from. When you entered, you were met with the strangest sight.
The gym was filled with winged... rats? And at the center of the chaos was Sabrina and Caliban, back to back and armed with what appeared to be lacrosse sticks. Caliban’s shirt was tattered from the rats, and you took a fraction of a second to banish the completely innappropriate and untimely thoughts from your head.
“And no one thought to call me?” You shouted angrily through the swarm, snagging a baseball bat from the rack and smacking it around with reckless abandon. Caliban hooted, laughing loudly as you took your place beside them. Rats tore at your clothes, but you were more frustrated that Sabrina had called your boyfriend (or whatever he was) over you.
“Why did you get Caliban! I was right there! Is there something wrong with you? Were you dropped on the head as a child? He’s not even from here Sabrina, he has no idea what-”
“For hell’s sake, he’s not the new kid! He’s not even from Australia! He’s a stupid clay prince from hell who is trying to take my throne and raze humanity, and his stupid plague king sent these after me, and now he’s dating you!” Sabrina spat out the word dating as if it was even more disgusting than the winged vermin tearing at your clothes.
“Will someone please explain what the hell is going on here?”
You were no less frustrated when Sabrina revealed her trek to hell and the all ensuing madness she’d partaken in, but you remained calm enough to not turn the bat on her clearly empty skull.
“And you’re the clay prince of hell... challenging her throne?” You questioned with a sharp glance at Caliban, who nodded reluctantly as he swatted a rat hurtling towards you.
“Do you even have a driver’s license!” You screamed, waving your baseball bat around wildly.
“I’m a demon prince of hell made out of clay, and you’re worried about if I can legally drive?” Caliban shouted back in astonishment through the wave of shrieking rats. The lacrosse stick he’d snagged was surprisingly effective.
“I was getting to that part, thank you for reminding me!” You hissed, debating whether to smash his face in with the bat. “How about we start with how you completely lied to me, and how our whole relationship or whatever it is a lie! Were you ever going to tell me? Or was this all part of some throne grab?”
“It wasn’t a lie!” Caliban demanded hotly. “You were not a lie!”
“Really!” You whirled on him, eyes alight with anger. “Because I sure feel like one!”
The rats numbers were dwindling rapidly, and you smacked the last one heading towards you directly at Caliban’s face. It collided with a satisfying shriek, and you threw your bat down as you stormed out of the gym.
Sabrina and Caliban rushed after you, but you’d disappeared in the hall.
now i'm, yeah, oh!
now i'm speechless, over the edge
i'm just breathless
i never thought that i'd catch this love bug again
now i'm hopeless, head over heels in the moment
i never thought that i'd get hit by this love bug again, (oh)
love bug again
You’d remained collected until you’d transported into the middle of the living room, collapsing into auntie Hilda’s arms in a puddle of tears as you told her everything. She’d muttered a stream of ancient curses about Sabrina, but beyond that merely smoothed your hair and told you that all boys were awful— especially demonic princes of hell.
“I hate him.” You glared half-heartedly into your cup of steaming peppermint tea. You couldn’t believe you’d been so stupid. Falling blindly in love with a stranger who had only sought you out for some elaborate game with Sabrina. Screw Caliban and his perfect hair, his perfect smile, his perfect— “I want to bash his face in.”
“No you don't, love.” Hilda smiled knowingly. “You’re angry, yes— and hurt. But you care for the boy. I’ve never seen you so happy as you’ve been these last few days. I think you ought to cool down and hear what he has to say.”
“I never want to talk to him again.” You groaned, burying your face in a pillow. “I’d rather die.”
And because the universe was truly conspiring against you, a knock sounded at the door.
“Well, best get over that quick.” Hilda warned, ignoring your stream of indignant protests as she hustled to the door.
“Caliban! Yes, do come in love. Oh, yes, we will be having a little chat later, but for now I think it’s my niece you must be speaking to.” Hilda’s cheerful voice trailed in from the foyer, and you jumped up to make a break for it.
You were halted by a familiar pair of strong arms tugging you back by the waist.
“Get off of me!” You shouted, pushing Caliban away harshly and ignoring the warmth that lingered where he’d touched you. “I want my baseball bat. Somebody get me my baseball bat! I’m going to bash your stupid pretty face in you asshole—”
“Five minutes.” Caliban pleaded desperately, “just give me a five minutes to explain, and then I’ll give you back the baseball bat to bash my face in, okay?”
You considered his offer for a moment, swallowing the sob crawling its way up your throat as you nodded reluctantly. If it made him leave faster, you’d do anything.
His shoulder sagged in barely concealed relief. “Okay. I am Caliban, Prince of Hell. I am not from Australia, clearly, and am not a transfer student. I am trying to take your cousin’s throne. She does not understand the realm of the damned— she thinks it needs to be generous, rather than a fair judgment of life. I am not her father, and I do not believe in reckless or cruel damnation. I do not wish any harm on Sabrina, and I’ve managed to keep the worst of the plague kings from her. Even if you were to reject me now, I would continue to try to protect her— you have my word.” Caliban paused as you released a breath you did not know you were holding. Your eyes finally dared to meet his, and you nodded for him to continue.
“I agreed to attend Greendale because yes, it did piss off Sabrina, but you were there.” He raised his hand to halt your protest. “You intrigued me, and I wanted to know you better. I will be fully honest that it had the added bonus of irritating your cousin, who I so delight in irritating, but my primary focus was you. You... enchanted me. I had never found myself so invested in anything before as I was in spending mundane days at high school— of all things— with you. Truthfully, it confused even me at first. And while the past you knew is false, I am real— and my feelings for you are true.”
“That is such bullshit, and you know it!” You exploded furiously, smacking his chest with untamed rage. “You knew exactly what you were doing. Who agrees to go to high school because they like a girl? Are you unhinged? Who doesn't just ask someone out if they were so interested, huh? No, you came here with your stupidly perfect little ‘oh I’m Caliban, and I’m so dreamy’ act, knowing full well that it would make me completely abandon all rationality. Well guess what, I did! I fell stupid head over heels for you, and it was all one big lie.”
Your voice broke on the last few words, anger shifting to broken sadness as you continued to pound relentlessly on his chest. “I was a lie.”
He caught your hands, holding them against his chest as he pressed you against the wall. “You weren't a lie, Spellman.”
His words were breathless whisper, his beautiful eyes pained and desperate as he gripped your hands harder. “I fell for you the moment I saw you. I enrolled in high school because you smiled at me. I learned every line of Romeo and Juliet to recite them to you. When we first met, you wondered how Romeo and Juliet could possibly fall in love after a mere few days, but I understand it now. I have never been driven so completely insane by anything or anyone like this before. The power you have over me is unmatched. I am completely and wholly yours. If you were to ask me right now to leave, to never bother you again, I would leave my heart with you and spend my eternity in endless sorrow. I would think forever of the way you smiled at me, the way you kissed me, how soft your hair felt in my hands, and how my heart raced every time you laughed. I would never forgive myself for the pain I had caused you, and you would haunt me every day, every waking moment, every dream.”
Caliban moved your hands to his lips, nearly kissing them as he pleaded to you with tears in his beautiful eyes. You were motionless, turned to stone by his heavy gaze.
“So please, don’t become my specter. If I am a stranger to you now, let me make you fall for me all over again. I would do it a thousand times, if you'd let me. I could think of no sweeter way to spend my eternity.”
When you’d thought that Shakespeare had been imagining Caliban when he wrote, you’d been wrong. There was no poetry, no book, no lyric that could possibly compare to the way he spoke to you— the way his eyes so desperately tried to convey his anguish.
You removed your hands from his, and his whole face seemed to shatter.
“You’re not a stranger,” you muttered softly, moving to take his face your hands. His face remained guarded, but he leaned instinctively into your touch. “You’re Caliban.”
When you kissed him, it was like falling in love all over again.
And you supposed you did.
“But we are having a long, long talk about everything.” You warned as you pulled back, poking his chest sharply as he nodded profusely. “And if you ever, ever lie to me again, I’ll set something worse than flying rats on you. I’ll let Sabrina have you.”
Caliban laughed wildly, picking you up and spinning you around as he kissed you over and over again in sheer relief and joy. “I love you, Spellman. Anything you want, it’s yours.”
“I just want you, clay boy.”
#caliban imagine#Caliban#prince caliban#caliban x reader#sabrina spellman#Chilling Adventures of Sabrina#sabrina spellman imagine#harvey kinkle#Nicholas Scratch#theo putnam#roz walker#liliith#dorian gray#Zelda Spellman#hilda spellman#nick scratch#nicholas scratch imagine#harvey kinkle imagine#ambrose spellman#ambrose spell man imagine#prudence night#The Weird Sisters
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it’s about time (l.r.h)
a/n: hi again! first of all i want to say thank you for the support on “seven things” it means the world. secondly, my requests are open and i’d be happy to write something for you. this is a jealous bff!luke imagine i wanted to get up this weekend, i didn’t do a very thorough edit before posting so hopefully there aren’t any typos. i am working on the request for a lashton x reader love triangle piece right now and will hopefully have it up by monday or tuesday. thank you, i hope you enjoy - emmy :)
pairing: luke hemmings x reader
summary: being best friends with the guy you’re in love with is extremely taxing especially when you have to watch him be with another girl all night. just when you’ve finally had enough of waiting around for him he ruins your plans for moving on.
warnings: alcohol, using alcohol as a coping mechanism, slight angst, jealous luke, mentions of throwing up, cursing, luke’s a bit of an asshole.
word count: 3.3k
“God, could they get a room?” you scoffed leaning into Calum as you watched your best friend practically eat his date’s face from across the club.
“Jealous are we y/n?” Calum laughed slinging an arm over your shoulder.
“No, just utterly disgusted.” you said before slamming back your fourth shot of tequila.
That was a lie, you were jealous. You were so insanely jealous that you could scream.
Luke had met his date, Hannah at the studio last week. She was new, working at the front desk. She had caught Luke’s eye the second she walked in the room with a bright confident smile, and a flirty look in her eye. Luke had asked her out the next day and was practically giddy when she accepted.
And that’s how they ended up in the corner of the club, Luke’s hands tangled in her hair, and her tongue down his throat. All the while you were trying to not look bitter, and distracting yourself with one too many drinks.
It wasn’t a new routine. You couldn’t count how many times you’ve had to sit back and watch a girl way prettier than you, be in the exact position that you would quite literally die to be in, with your best friend of 4 years. And somehow it seemed to hurt more each time, which meant more drinks for you.
As you felt the familiar and comforting burn of your fifth shot of the night slide down your throat Calum shot you a knowing look.
“Maybe you should slow down there, kid.”
You rolled your eyes and took his Corona from his hands using it as a chaser.
“Corona girl?” you heard from behind you. When you turn, your eyes meet a pretty pair of green ones (you still preferred Luke’s blue, but what the hell).
“Tequila girl.” you clarified.
“Respect.” the man said, extending a strong tattooed hand. “I’m Austin.”
“Y/n” you said, shaking his hand. You glanced over your shoulder at Calum who was now engaged in a conversation with Mikey and Ashton beside you.
“Pretty name, pretty girl.” he smirked. “So, can I get you a tequila?”
You giggled, happy for a distraction from Luke.
“You can get me a margarita, on the rocks.”
“Deal.”
The two of you chatted as you sipped on your drink, mind getting hazier with each sip. And you don’t know if it was the alcohol or your determination to get Luke off your mind but Austin was really, really hot.
“Do you wanna dance with me?” you asked before you had a chance to convince yourself otherwise. You were never really a dance in public kind of girl, normally the closest you got to showing your moves on the dancefloor was Just Dance in Luke’s living room.
“Absolutely.” Austin replied, sliding an arm around your waist to lead you to the dancefloor.
The bass beat shook the floor as the two of you made your way to the middle of the club. As you stopped you realized you had absolutely no idea what to do. You never did stuff like this. You can’t even remember the last time you went on a date, let alone danced to sleazy house music with a stunning stranger. You glanced around you hoping to follow the lead of the more experienced dancers around you.
A redhead to your right swung her hips, inching closer to her partner's body with each movement until she was pressed directly to his chest.
“Seems like a good place to start” you mumbled to yourself.
The second your hips were in movement Austin’s hands gripped them strongly guiding your movements closer and closer to him. As the beat built and your movements slowed to a teasingly slow pace his grip tightened causing your tight white dress to bunch up on your thighs.
With the alcohol in your bloodstream and Austin’s breath on the back of your neck you nearly forgot about Luke and your perpetual sadness, that is until you locked eyes with him from across the room.
Hannah was tucked under his arm sipping on her drink, but his gaze was locked on you, he had an unrecognizable look on his face, and a jaw clenched so hard you feared he would break his teeth.
You took him staring as the perfect opportunity to spin around, inches away from Austin’s face looking up at him through your lashes. His pupils were blown a bit, eyes filled with lust. He was practically breathing into your mouth. You will yourself to just kiss him. It’s not like you were Luke’s girl you thought, so you started to lean in.
As Austin placed his hand on the back of your neck you felt someone grab your arm tugging you out of Austin’s grip.
“Y/n” Luke appeared next to you.
“Is there a problem man?” Austin said grabbing one of your hands.
Luke rolled his eyes with a sly grin on his face, “Cal wants to talk to you.” he said to you not breaking eye contact with the pissed off guy in front of you.
“I’m a bit busy.” you said annoyance brewing in you as you ripped your arm out of Luke’s hand. “Can it wait?”
“Nope, said it was important.” he said nonchalantly “Better go find him.”
You internally groaned, “I’ll be right back.” you said leaning in to peck Austin’s cheek.
“Y/n, C’mon!” Luke shouted over the music.
“Fine!” you groaned leaving Luke and Austin behind you as you scanned the bar for Calum.
After searching for a few minutes you saw him in a booth with Ashton, and Michael talking and laughing.
“Calum,” you called. He glanced up at you waving a hand above his hand. You slid into the booth next to him, your patience growing thin.
“What is it?” you said.
“What?” he said, confusion spreading across his face.
“Luke said you needed to talk to me, what’s up?”
Calum’s eyebrows tugged together glancing at the other guys.
“I haven’t talked to Luke since we got here.”
You rolled your eyes and turned to the corner across the room where Luke had Hannah pressed up against the wall.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” you said out loud, rubbing your temple in frustration.
Ashton gave you a sympathetic smile and glanced at Michael who was practically sleeping on Cal’s shoulder.
“Maybe we should head out.” he said motioning to the drunk mess that was the three of you.
“No” Calum whined, dragging out the oh sound. “y/n was about to get some.” he teased poking your side.
“Just take him home, y/n/n.” Michael groaned, not even opening his eyes.
You pondered the idea, you never did stuff like this. But Austin was hot, and Luke was preoccupied. To say the least.
“I could take him home.” you say aloud trying to convince yourself.
“Then do it.” Calum challenged.
“I will.” you stated proudly. “You guys get Luke. Ash, you get the uber, and Austin and I will meet you at the door. “ you gave a quick nod to the boys and went to get Austin.
Austin stood exactly where you left him on the dance floor.
“Thank god you’re back. I-“
Before he had a chance to finish, you crashed your lips onto his. He quickly fell into the kiss moving his hand to the small of you back. Before it went any further you pulled apart about an inch, and spoke into his mouth,
“Come back to my apartment?”
“Absolutely.” he said an excited smile growing on his face.
When the two of you made it to where your group was struggling to stand by the door Luke pulled apart from Hannah, looking Austin up and down. His eyes stopping where your hands were interlocked.
“Love, a word?” he slurred, nodding his head away from the group.
You walked with him just outside the door.
“What’s up?”
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean with this guy, what are you doing with him?”
“Um, taking him home with me?” you said confused.
“You can’t do that.”
“Who says?” anger began building as you looked up at him.
“Uh, me I guess. You know nothing about him.”
This caused you to scoff, a laugh passing your lips, “And you do a background check on every girl you take home with you?”
“That’s different,” he alleged.
“And how’s that?” your patience was growing thin, and you could feel this conversation sobering you up.
“I don’t know y/n, you're just not one night stand material.”
Okay, ouch. Tears began to prick at your waterline.
“Go to hell.” you breathed, pushing past him.
“No, y/n/n. You know that’s not what I meant. C’mon love, hey I’m sorry.” he called after you.
As you approached the group, holding back tears, you took a glance at Austin in front of you and realized that no matter how hot he was you really didn’t even want this. How could you when you were head over heels in love with your asshole of a best friend.
But it was too late now, you would do it. Even if it was wrong. Even if you didn’t want to. Even if it was just to spite Luke.
“Ready to head out?” you questioned aloud, swallowing your hurt.
“Yep, uber just got here.” Ashton confirmed, guiding a hammered Calum and Michael out the door.
You all climbed into the Uber X Ashton had ordered, Luke, Hannah, and Calum in the back, Ashton in the passenger seat, and Michael, Austin, and you in the middle.
As you pulled away from the club, Ashton spoke over the light music coming from the car radio and gave the driver Luke’s address. The group had made plans to all spend the night at Luke’s, like you typically did after a night out.
“We have one more stop actually” you choked out, feeling Austin lean into you, lips attaching to your neck.
You gave the man your address and turned your attention back to the sexually charged man glued to your side. As he moved his kisses up to your jaw you closed your eyes, in order to prevent yourself from breaking down. The constant reminder that Luke had no interest in you, being thrown in your face as Hannah released soft sighs behind you.
Ashton glanced back at you from the front seat,
“You feeling okay, kid?” he asked.
You nodded gulping, and looked up at the ceiling to deter your threatening tears.
His eyes narrowed in concern as he adjusted his body in his seat so he was looking you in the eyes. Luke turned his attention away from Hannah (much to her despair) to the front of the car as Ashton spoke.
“Y/n, you sure? Maybe you and your friend should continue this another night.” Ashton suggested, noticing how you had tensed up and your expression had faltered since entering the car.
Austin pulled off of you and shot him a frustrated glare from his seat. Ashton raised his eyebrows in response, silently challenging Austin to confront him.
Austin moved in centimeters from your ear, “Your friends are kind of cockblocks.” he complained.
You tilted your head away from him and looked out the window Michael was sitting next to.
“Maybe they’re right.” you muttered. “Maybe you should just go home, and we can do this some other time. I’m not feeling well.”
You kept your gaze directed outside of the car, too afraid to see his reaction to your sudden rejection.
“Your kidding right?” he scoffed.
You were becoming more anxious by the second as he rambled on about how you must be joking.
“I’m not laughing.” Luke interrupted flatly.
“Okay, what’s your deal man?” Austin’s demeanor had quickly changed as he turned to face Luke, aggression clear in his face.
Luke held his hands in the air before resting them on the back of your seat. “No deal, she’s just clearly not interested, so maybe you could give her some space.”
Calum and Michael perked up in their seats as the mood in the car shifted. In the front Ashton was talking to the driver, explaining how you would be getting dropped off with the rest of them.
Austin was in a confrontational mood now, one that made you uneasy. He and Luke continued to bicker back and forth. Hannah sat confused and aggravated next to Luke.
You were seconds away from crumbling, feeling extremely upset and overwhelmed. Michael placed a hand on your shoulder, hoping to ease some of your distress as you pulled into Luke’s driveway.
Everyone got out of the car, leaving Austin stirring in his own anger. Ashton patted the top of the car twice before it drove away.
“Well, y/n you sure know how to pick em’” Luke commented.
Calum shot him a disapproving look as you shoved past, running inside.
You had officially reached your breaking point. You couldn’t have Luke but you were in too deep to be with anyone else. Not to mention the fact that Luke seemed to be taking pleasure in your misfortune for the night.
You went straight for the bathroom. All the alcohol and confrontation hadn’t been kind to your stomach.
You hunched over the toilet and began throwing up before you even got the chance to close the door all the way. Your eyes were red and stinging from your tears and your throat was stripped raw. Hugging your knees to your chest you sat with your back against the sink.
Three soft knocks came from the cracked door and you peered up through cloudy eyes to see Ashton looking at you with pity clear on his face.
“Can I come in?”
You nodded into your knees, staring down at the familiar tiles of Luke’s bathroom.
You couldn’t count how many times you had been in this exact spot. Whether it be dealing with the consequences of your unhealthy coping mechanism after a night out like you were now. Early mornings after sleeping over, sitting in the steam while Luke showered because he just couldn’t wait to tell you a story, or late nights he would convince you to paint his nails. All of it was replaying in your head.
“Why can’t he just love me the way I love him?” you whimpered as a sob broke from your throat.
Ashton was quick to wrap his arms around you, taking a seat on the floor.
“It’s okay, y/n.” he shushed. “You’re okay.
“I love him, Ash” your voice muffled from being pressed to his shoulder.
“I know.” he comforted you, rocking your frame lightly. You sat in silence for a bit, trying to control your breathing.
By the time you left the bathroom Calum and Michael were asleep on the couch and Luke and Hannah had gone to Luke’s room. Ashton laid on the couch with the other guys and you made your way to the guest room, falling asleep the second your head hit the pillow.
You woke up early with a throbbing headache and an insatiable craving for iced coffee. There was no doubt in your mind that you were first one awake, the guys wouldn’t be up for hours. You tiptoed through the living room past a sleeping Michael, Calum, and Ashton being careful not to wake them. As you turned the corner to leave you heard a voice from the kitchen,
“Morning,” Luke called, his gravelly voice making it very clear he had just woken up. He was leaning on the cabinet in a pair of sweats, a cup of coffee in hand.
“Oh, you’re up.” you responded still moving towards the door.
“Going somewhere?” he questioned walking towards you.
“Yea I gotta go, I have uh…” your mind was drawing a blank. “ya know, laundry.”
“Wait,” he sprung forward in two big steps grabbing your shoulder. “as urgent as that sounds, I wanna talk.”
“‘bout what?”
“I feel like I should apologize for last night.”
“It’s okay, we can talk about it later. I really gotta get going.”
“Y/n! Will you let me say sorry, please?” he pleaded
“You have.” you replied nodding at him before turning away once again.
“Fine, then can I ask why you tried to take someone home last night. You never do that.”
“No reason.” you lied, opening the front door.
“Really? Cause Cal said something last night about you being jealous or something and then I went to check on you and I overheard-”
“I gotta go.” you panicked, taking a step outside.
Right before the door swung closed and you made your escape Luke stopped it with his hand and spoke,
“Are you in love with me?”
You froze where you stood, squeezing your eyes shut completely mortified.
Slowly, you spun back around to face Luke. He stepped out of the door frame allowing you reentrance and led you to the kitchen. Once you had both sat down he spoke again,
“So is it true? What you told Ashton last night, is it true?”
You placed your hands over your eyes and shook your head.
“Does it matter?” you responded.
“Of course it matters, what do you mean?”
“I mean you have Hannah and it doesn’t matter how I fe-”
“Hannah’s gone.” he interrupted.
“Gone?”
“It wasn’t gonna work out with us. I ended things last night.”
“Why would you end things with-” you paused, eyes narrowing.
Luke looked down, suddenly not wanting to meet your eyes.
“Do you...you love me?”
At this Luke shot up from his seat and started pacing around the kitchen.
“Well, of course I do. But I asked you first, and you can’t just..” he rambled on but you stopped listening after “of course I do”
“Lu,” you said, standing up
He continued talking, not even hearing you over his own nervous talking and fidgeting.
“Lu.” you called a bit louder.
He turned to you, stopping mid sentence his mouth still hanging open.
“I am.”
“You…” he spoke slowly, eyes frozen on you.
“I am in love with you.”
Both of you were frozen in place, terrified that if you moved you may wake up and discover this was all just a dream. You stayed like that for about a minute till you broke the silence.
“I have been, for a couple years now. And I never told you, cause I always thought that-” you were cut off by Luke’s lips.
He had one hand on the back of your neck and the other pulling you closer by the waist. You melted into the kiss pressing a hand to his chest. It may sound cliche but you swore you were seeing fireworks as he ran his tongue along your bottom lip.
“I love you.” he sighed as you pulled apart. “I am so in love with you, fuck I can’t believe-” Before he had a chance to ramble again you pulled him back in for another kiss.
After a few minutes you broke away to catch your breath. Luke moved his hands to cup both your cheeks,
“Hi.” he cooed.
“Hi” you smiled. “I need coffee” you turned away walking towards the kitchen.
“Hey no wait” he whined pulling you back by the waist. “m’not done kissing you.”
“We have plenty of time for that, but I need coffee now.” you teased pressing a swift kiss to his lips.
“Mmm, I know but we’ve got a lot of catching up to do” he said chasing behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist as you walked to the coffee machine.
As you fixed yourself a coffee, Luke's chin resting on the top of your head, you heard shuffling from the living room. When you looked up Michael was walking in with messy hair and eyes puffy from sleep. He glanced at you in Luke’s arms, his expression unchanging and mumbled while pulling orange juice from the fridge,
“It’s about time.”
#5sos imagine#5sos imagines#luke hemmings imagine#luke hemmings angst#luke hemmings fluff#luke hemmings x reader#luke hemmings x y/n#5sos one shot#5sos one shots#5sos blurbs#5sos#luke hemmings#luke hemmings one shot#luke hemmings one shots#luke hemmings blurb#5sos preferences#5sos drabbles#5 seconds of summer#5 seconds of summer imagine#5 seconds of summer fic#5 seconds of summer blurb
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Pornstar
Pairings: Colson x Reader
Warnings/Tags: rough sex, anal sex, face fucking, gagging, spit, spitting in mouth, slight bondange, golden showers, pissing in mouth, slapping across face, being filmed.
A/N: Shout out to Shawnie ( @heytheregreeneyes) for always letting me use her as my OC and being my best friend. Also Colson isn’t MGK in this, just a pornstar so his personality isn’t as cocky as he usually is. I know I’ve mentioned it before but the sex in this is loosely based off my fave porn star Small Hands AKA Aaron Thompson. Hope this was worth the wait. Lemme know what you think! “Open it, open it!” Your roommate and best friend Shawnie stood before you with a gift bag in hand, shaking it excitedly.
“My birthday’s not even until this weekend,” You laughed taking the bag from her. “You sure you don’t want me to wait? It’s only a few more days.”
“ No please, I’ve kept this a secret for long enough, it’s killing me! Just open it!” She exclaimed. “Plus your gonna need time to prepare.”
“Prepare?”
“C’mom, just open it, open it, open it!!!” She was far too excited. You wondered what it could be that she was so eager to give you. But what you pulled out of the bag just left you with even more questions.
“Thanks???” You said confused, holding up a sexy red lace bra and matching g- string that tied at hips.
“That’s only part of it,” she assured you. “What’s your biggest wish?” She tried to clue you in.
“Ummm paying off all my student debt?” You answered still puzzled. “Did you get me a job as a stripper?” You laughed.
“Okay, maybe ‘wish’ was the wrong word to use … hmmm—oh biggest fantasy!” She corrected herself.
“Oh to fuck my favorite porn star Huge Hands, AKA Colson Baker. You know that — wait … no, no way!” You exclaimed as your friend started frantically nodding her head yes. “Shut up!!! What? You’re kidding. Like how?”
“Look in the bag . There’s more!”
You reached into the bag and pulled out a pass of some kind and read it aloud. “Huge Hands/Colson Baker : Exclusive Access, Porn Star for a Day pass”
“They were super limited, I have no clue how I managed to snag one, but I’m so happy I did! The look on your face right now is priceless!” Shawnie laughed. “It’s probably because you’re the only one I know who’s crazy enough to actually go through with this.”
“I-I don’t even know what to say. I have no words… thank you.” You expressed your gratitude, still in shock. “I’m really about to have the best sex of my life this weekend! On my birthday yet! Have you seen his fucking cock, it’s huuuge!”
“Yes, many times,” Shawnie chuckled , entertained by how pumped you are. “Or did you forget about all the links of his umm ‘work’ you’ve sent me?” Shawnie wasn’t big on porn herself but she was always willing to take an interest in your latest obsessions, no matter what they were. That’s what you loved most about her. “Turn it over, it tells you more about what’s included on the back.”
You did as she suggested, turning the pass over to read more. “Half hour zoom call day before to privately discuss details, and needs/wants of scene; hair and make up; up to one hour of shooting time; and keepsake autographed DVD recording,” you listed off. “You know I’m gonna watch that everyday for the rest of my life, right?”
“I’m assuming you’re gonna make me watch it at least once too, knowing you,” Shawnie laughed.
“Yeah probably,” you laughed as well. “ I got no shame!”
*************
You’re stomach was in knots as you waited for the zoom call to begin; you’d never felt so excited and nervous at the same time. Shawnie was there with you sitting just out of frame, when the ‘bloop’ of the call came through your computer's speakers.
“Hi, Y/N?” Colson questioned.
“Yeah, hi. That’s me!” You did a timid little wave.
“Ok good, just wanted to make sure I got the right person before we get started here. Imagine that … Awkward!,” he laughed, and you instantly began to relax; you could tell he was going to be easy to talk to. “Well, obviously you know what I do , but I’d love to hear a little about you. Says here on your forms you’re a college student?”
“Wait, what forms?” You asked.
“The ones you filled out online with your info and kinks and things you wanted to include in our video when you purchased the Pornstar for a day package,” he answers slightly confused.
“Ohhh, my friend bought me this for my birthday, she must have filled them out.” You responded. “She’s right here. Say hi Shawnie!”
“Hi!” She giggled leaning into frame.
“Hello. Wow this must be some “friendship” he joked making air quotes. “Because this is a very detailed list. You gotta hear this.” He smirks. “Written in the section about what you hope to include in our scene says— and I quote: I want Huge Hands/ Colson to absolutely destroy me. I want him to fuck my throat, my pussy and my ass. I want him to slap me around, and spit and piss in my mouth, and anything else he wants to do to me, I’m all for it.” He choked out a laugh pulling dramatically at the collar of his shirt “Whew, I’m the pornstar here and that’s even got me blushing!”
“Oh my God, Shawnie!” You covered your beet red face.
“What!?, did I lie?” She laughed.
“I mean no, but still. Damn, to hear it out loud like that.” Your eyes bulged.
“So it’s true then?” Colson asked slyly.
“Yeah, that pretty much sums it up,” you hid your smile behind your hand, shaking your head in embarrassed disbelief.
“Aye, no need to be embarrassed, we’re gonna have fun tomorrow, I can tell,” he smiled. “I’m especially excited that your interested in Anal. It’s kinda my favorite. I’m assuming you’ve done it before?”
“Yeah,” you answered simply.
“Do you enjoy it?” He asked.
“Tell him what your ex said!” Shawnie blurted out.
“Oh, boy. I gotta hear this,” he chuckled. “What’d the ex say?”
You inhaled deeply before speaking, “I do enjoy it, probably more than regular sex, if I’m being honest,” you admitted. There was no use trying to be coy now. “Uhhh he actually said I could be a pornstar since I can take a hard anal pounding so well.”
“Nice!” He exclaimed. “Girl, after my own heart.”
“Jesus Christ, this conversation has me sweating already,” you chuckled standing up to pull your cardigan off.
“Is that a little tattoo I saw there, peaking out of the top of your jeans?” He asked.
“Yeah, you wanna see?” You unzipped your jeans without waiting for a response and lowered the top of your underwear just enough to show him.
“ The Playboy bunny, huh? How fitting,” he teased.
“What can I say, it was my first tattoo,” you giggled “Seemed like that’s what everyone was getting at the time.”
“What else you got going on down there?” He lifted his head as if trying to see more. “Is that a landing strip?” He asked referring to the thin dark stripe of short curls just barely visible above the band of your lowered underwear. “Can I see?”
“Yeah, sure,” you lowered them further exposing yourself, your inhibition long gone at that point. “This is just how I normally like to groom. I can shave it completely if you prefer?”
“Nah, it’s perfect,” he smiled. “Well, I think I have a pretty good idea now of what you like and what we’ll be getting ourselves into tomorrow. Do you have any questions or anything else you want me to know, before we end the call?”
“I don’t think so,” you said. “Shawnie pretty much laid it all out on those forms,” you laughed.
“That she did!” He produced a chuckle as well. “I meant to ask earlier, but, since she knows so much about your kinks and what not, have you two ever —“
“ No, just best friends, I tend to overshare, I guess.”
“Yeah it amazes me sometimes, the things women share with their friends, but yet guys are always the ones who are known to kiss and tell and brag about their conquests. Females can be just as bad, y’all just keep it on the low a little better,” he stated. “Well, I look forward to working with you tomorrow. Take care, and I’ll see you soon.”
“Can’t wait!” You responded. “Bye.”
“Bye,”
You felt oddly comforted and at ease after the call, no longer a ball of nerves or embarrassment. He made you feel like there was no shame in enjoying the things you did. He was very professional despite the nature of the call; it didn’t feel sleezy or overly salacious; just two consenting adults having a mature conversation about their sexual desires.
*************************
When you walked out of hair and make-up and onto set, you saw Colson waiting for you on a red leather couch. He was clad in only black dress pants; shirtless — his tattoos on full display. He smiled seductively when he saw you, beckoning you over with a pat to his thighs. You undid your silk robe they had given you and let it slip from your shoulders to the floor, revealing the red lacy set Shawnie had bought you, as you made your way over to him. You suddenly became very aware of all the cameras and other people in the room, as you sat on his lap. Somehow it has slipped your mind that they were all a part of what went into this.
“You get used to it,” he said softly , remembering the way he felt his first time in front of the cameras. “Just pretend they’re not even there— only me and you, okay?” He said brushing a finger along your thigh. “Unless, Shawnie forgot to mention you’re an exhibitionist too, then by all means enjoy them watching us fuck,” he joked, making you laugh. “Don’t forget, if you need me to stop at anytime for any reason, just give me three quick taps,” he demonstrated, tapping your thigh. “Don’t worry about the filming, they can always edit and piece things back together if needed. This is all for you and I want you to enjoy yourself. Oh and happy birthday by the way! It’s today right?”
“Yeah,” you smiled. “Thank you.”
“Ok, so we’ll just start the scene with some kissing and light touches, and when I feel you’re ready I’ll signal the camera man, he’ll call action, and then we'll be recording.”
“Sounds good,” you nodded your head. He had made you feel so comfortable and relaxed the last bit of nervousness you chalked up to just being slightly star struck; You never thought in a million years you’d get this opportunity.
“Ready?,” he pressed his forehead to yours, staring directly into your eyes, the corners of his mouth turned up into the most alluring devilish grin.
“Ready,” you echoed back, biting your lip trying to suppress a needy whine. God you were always such a sucker for his killer eye contact in his films, and now you were the one his eyes were soul fucking. You’re heart pounded with excited anticipation as Colson’s face drew nearer to your own. He lightly held your chin as he pressed his lips to yours, parting them to introduce his tongue. It was a welcome greeting, cut short by the breathy “oh fuck ” that involuntarily slipped from your lips.
“”You good?” He laughed softly, a small puff of air the only thing separating your mouths; your foreheads still touching.
“More...than good,” you spoke in a short choppy sentence trying to compose yourself.
“That’s what I like to hear,” he smirked against your lips, continuing to kiss you.
You melted into his kisses— slow and gentle at first, increasing in intensity as he carried on. When he nipped at your bottom lip with a low groan, you lost all innocence, shifting positions to straddle his lap. You gripped the back of his head, as he kissed you and rolled your hips against him, demanding more. And that’s when he knew … that you were ready. He quickly signaled to the cameraman with a thumbs up, and “Action” was called.
His hand slipped down from your chin, settling on the highest part of your neck just under your jaw, his fingers squeezing at your pulse points on either side. Roughly he turned your head to the side with a push of his thumb and his mouth began mauling your neck with an appetite for lust, leaving blooming raspberry patches along the descending path of flesh that lead to your breasts. With one hand he expertly undid the front clasp of your red lace bra and took in the sight of you.
“Perfect,” he whispered into your flesh with a growl, taking one breast in each hand as he licked between them, keeping his eyes locked on yours. You slid the silky straps of your lingerie over your shoulders, letting it fall, as he took turns going back and forth between each breast treating each of your nipples to light suction and a pleasurable nibble. You let out a moan at his actions and again rolled your hips in his lap, pressing yourself against the hardening bulge inside his dress pants. “Needy are we?” He teased swiftly spinning you around so your back was to his chest. He dug his chin into your shoulder peering over it as he snatched up the crotch of your panties roughly, tugging the material up between your lips . You canted your hips up chasing after the friction of the coarse fabric against your clit. “You like that, huh?” He pulled them harsher.
“Mmmm, yes” you squeaked out, nodding your head.
“Yeah, I bet you do,” he growled nipping at your neck. “Look at this pretty pussy,” he shoved the material to the side exposing you, letting his fingers explore your folds as he pleased. “You want my cock right in here huh?” His voice was so gravelly and low as he slipped a finger inside you, only to quickly pull it back out, teasing you. “Taste yourself,” he brought the finger to your mouth. You wrapped your lips around it, as he slid it further into your mouth, his long fingers slipping down the back of your throat. “Oh, god, yes!” He exclaimed impressed by how you didn’t even gag. “Tell ya what—“ he paused to add a second finger to your mouth, continuing to talk as you sucked “If you can suck my dick as good as that—“ he then pulled them back out of your mouth. “I might just have to fuck you right in here too,” he shoved his spit slicked fingers into your ass.
“Yes, fuck, please!” You whined, wiggling your hips, wanting his fingers deeper.
“You like that? Huh. You dirty little anal whore!” He grabbed your neck with his free hand, keeping you pinned back against him, the fingers of his other hand still moving inside you.
“Yes, yes! I am,” you strained to speak. “Please, please fuck my ass!” You whined impatiently with pleasure. You never heard yourself sound so needy and desperate in your life.
“You sound you pretty when you beg, but you're gonna have to earn it first,” he demanded pulling out his fingers, leaving you feeling empty. Quickly, you dropped to your knees in front of the couch as Colson got up standing before you. You waited impatiently while Colson unbuckled his belt above you. Once undone he yanked the belt free from the loops with a satisfying ‘whoosh’ that made you pulse between your thighs. You desperately clawed his pants and boxers down his legs like a feral cat in heat as Colson brought the tip to your mouth, still holding onto his belt in the other. “Open!,” he demanded. “Goooood,” he growled in praise as you did what you were told. You reached up to grab it but ,“no hands!” he smacked them away, and then secured them behind your back with his belt. “Let’s try this again, open!” He spoke harshly. You obliged, opening wide. “Tongue” he barked. You let it hang from your mouth with anticipation; eager breaths rolling down it like a panting dog eyeing a steak. He teased you, slapping his cock against your tongue before shoving it fully into your mouth. Your eyes prickled with tears as you fought your gag reflex, taking him down your throat. He held your head in place with one hand , the tip of your nose pressed flush against the coarse hair of his pelvis, as he hunched his body forward over yours untying the sides of your G-string. It slipped from your body leaving you completely nude. Colson smacked your ass, then gripped it harshly, making it jiggle for him before finally standing straight up and pulling his hips back to let you come up for air.
“Huuuuuuhhhh,” you inhaled sharply gasping for breath, letting oxygen penetrate deep into your lungs before Colson stuffed your mouth again. Mascara ran down your hollowed out cheeks as you sucked. You started pulling back out of instinct when you began to gag but Colson held you in place.
“No, keep it in your mouth,” he instructed condescendingly, looking down at you. “Just a little longer” he promised. You tried your best, Colson letting out a throaty moan every time your raw, used throat constricted around him as he fucked into it. “Mmmgghh,” he groaned, pulling out of your mouth “Goooood girl,” he praised with a smirk, before bending down to give you a sloppy kiss, swapping mouthfuls of saliva. Just as he pulled away he let a long string of collected spit slip from his pursed lips and into your open mouth, where you eagerly accepted it, moaning as you swallowed it down.
You let out a breathy “awhhh” as you opened your mouth again, wiggling your tongue enticingly.
“Such a dirty, fucking whore,” he bent down again and spat directly in your face. He smeared it all over your face with his hand before grabbing you by the neck, pulling you to your feet. “Turn around,” he ordered. You did as he said and Colson undid his belt from around your wrists. Before you even had a chance to soothe your sore wrists with a rub, Colson spun you around and pushed you down onto your back on the couch, your ass teetering on the edge of the red leather cushion. “Spread yourself for me,” he instructed, as he pumped himself. Again you did as you were told; you pulled your legs up, wrapping an arm around each thigh, holding them back as you parted your opening with your fingers. “God, you’re so fucking wet.” He teased the head of his cock through the glistening mess on display for him.
“Fuck me,” you said in an inpatient huff, staring into his eyes.
“Awhhh, yessss,” he groaned out, slack jawed as he sank into you
“Ohhh, shit,” you screamed out , face twisted in pleasure, your eyes slipping shut, at the feeling of him burying himself deep in your cunt.
“Open your eyes. Look at me!” He spoke harshly, cupping your face in his hands as he thrust. You opened your eyes, trying to focus on his, but your vision was spotted by the intensity of it all. “Feel good?” He pressed his forehead to yours just as he’d done earlier , starring directly into the windows to your soul as he fucked you. You nodded the best you could, but that wasn’t good enough for him. “Words, I want words. Say yes!”
“Yes.. yes,” you responded breathily, biting at your lip.
“Yeah, Mmmghhh, that’s it. Fuck, I like it when you use your words” he moaned , shifting himself to be more upright. He then spit on the tips of his fingers and brought them to your clit and began rubbing it furiously, his cock still destroying you.
“OH Fuck!” You cried out, wiggling and bucking your hips.
“You gonna fucking stay still? He roughly grabbed your face, squeezing your cheeks. You nodded your head, trying your best to calm your body’s erratic, pleasure driven movements as he thrust. “Words!” He spat, his hand letting go of your face only to connect it to your cheek again with a quick, yet harsh slap.
“Shit! ...Yes!” You corrected yourself once again, Your body was loving how aggressive he was getting the longer he fucked you and he could tell; spitting at and striking your face again.
“Turn over!” He ordered, abruptly pulling out. “Hands on the back of the couch.” He roughly assisted you in turning around , and you placed your hands where instructed. You arched your back and pushed your ass out waiting for him to re enter you from the new position. “This is where you really want it, huh?” He teased his cock over your asshole.
“Yes!,” you remembered to use your words this time.
“You’re a dirty little fucking anal whore, aren’t you? He asked, he question sounding a lot more like a statement. “Let me hear you said it.” He applied pressure to your hole with the tip, as he yanked back a fist full of your hair.
“I’m a dirty little fucking anal whore!,” you repeated desperately pushing back against him.
“Mmmghh!, That you are!” He confirmed with a groan, snapping hips hips forward, quickly entering you.
“Uhhhhh, Oh my God!” You exclaimed at the feeling. You never fully understood why you enjoyed anal as much as you did, perhaps it was the pleasurable fullness, the taboo aspect, the fact that you were one of the few woman who were into it, or the way so many men were obsessed with it , and the look on their face when they found out you were more than willing to take it up the ass, but you absolutely loved it, and this time was no different. Every jack hammered thrust brought you closer and closer to the edge, especially when Colson reached around to between your legs adding the friction of his fingers to your clit. The sensation of your ass being stuffed combined with his touch was the perfect recipe for orgasm and you felt it building every time his cock slid in and out.
“Yeah, cum for me,” he could feel you tightening around him. His words perfectly in sync with the jolt of pleasure boiling over in your abdomen and ripping through you with vast intensity. A series of explitives and sounds you’ve never heard yourself make, flew from you lips as your body went boneless under Colson. He quickly pulled out, turned you back over and came across your face with a few pumps of his hand. He collapsed to the side of you briefly, before tugging you off the couch and onto your knees. “I’m not done with you just yet,” he spoke out of breath taking his softening dick in his hand. Your eyes lit up, you knew what he was referring too— the only thing on your list of wants he hadn’t included yet. “Say ahhh!”
“Ahhh,” you echoed the request, letting his golden stream fill your mouth, splash off your tongue and dribble down your chin and body. You giggled, piss spilling from your smile as you looked up at him, all your fantasies now fulfilled.
“Annnd cut!” Called the director. A few stage hands scrambled to bring you both a towel and small refreshments. “Almost done, just gonna get you guys a little cleaned up, rehydrated, let you catch your breath a bit, and then film the little quick, post scene interview.
“Ok,” you both answered.
Colson tossed his towel over his shoulders and reached out his hand to you “You, good?” He asked with a faint laugh , watching your hand shake as you drank your water.
“Yeah,” you answered letting him pull you up onto the couch.
“You were amazing,” he said, rubbing your back. He knew the come down from the adrenal rush of scenes could be taxing, especially from rough ones . “You —“
“Ready,” the director interrupted, cutting him short, and immediately pressing record. “So how was it?” the director focused the camera on you first.
“Oh my god.. mind blowing,” you answered , still out of breath, adjusting your towel.
“And you?” The director turned the camera to Colson.
“ Absolutely amazing. She was a natural. I’d love to work with her again.”
#colson baker#colson baker fanfic#colson baker smut#colson baker x reader#mgk#mgk fanfic#mgk smut#mgk x reader#machine gun kelly#machine gun kelly fanfic#machine gun kelly smut#machine gun kelly x reader#small hands#aaron thompson
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Outer Banks season 2 Official Trailer shot-by-shot rundown
A comprehensive post where I scream about analyze the entire trailer frame by frame for clues, theories, and plot. Just my own opinions and general tin foil-hatting
These are screenshots from Netflix’s trailer for Outer Banks season 2. I do not claim or own any of these.
note: this post is tagged as a long post if you wish to avoid having to scroll until your thumbs break.
“My old man used to tell me, ‘it’s best to never say you’ve hit rock bottom’.”
(Putting all of these shots together since they’re scenes we already know but-) Holy shit, okay let’s just....start off like this I guess, damn.
“'Trust me’, he said...”
Kiara looking back and forth between the boys like this really just feeds the headcanon I have that her form of grief this season is going to be her trying to hold it together for their sakes (and eventually just snapping).
JJ just looks fucking furious someone give these kids a hug? I already know this scene is going to ruin me.
“You can always go...”
JJ back working at the hotel. He looks literally so angry again in this scene I could see him self destructing at work and losing his job? (Please do not be isolating yourself you beautiful son of a bitch even though I know you’re going to).
Pope in the Twinkie (costuming wise they all are in warmer looking clothes for some of the shots, so just confirming it’s a little bit into the school year when this all takes place).
“Lower”
Big John was real big into pep talks, I see. (seriously can you imagine Big John having this conversation with like 8 year old John B after he fucking dropped his ice cream cone or some shit I shouldn’t be laughing).
I’m just-
These poor kids, I wanna know how the police all the way down in the Bahama’s knew about them?
Their calves....
“RUN!”
Are going to be so fucking jacked by the end of this season I stg.
Fuck you.
“The gold from the Royal Merchant....it’s here.”
For a while, I had thought that maybe they didn’t even make it to the Bahama’s at the front of the season and ended there (because everyone had been filming in there). But I guess they’re going to be making two trips.
If I were a bird from this POV I’d shit right on that house no questions asked.
oooooh ho hokay. Just so we’re clear. Ward Cameron not only get away with murder and about two dozen other felonies, but-
“Half a billion.”
HE STILL FINDS THE GOLD IN THE CRAIN HOUSE AND GETS TO KEEP IT?
Not the polo with the snap back, I just know this man has a playlist called Sad Boi Hours that is just Juice WRLD’s top 5 songs on Spotify and he tells his friends they wouldn’t know the underground artists he listens to.
Sh, you have lost screaming privileges. Go inside and take a nap maybe.
“John B, we are fugitives in a foreign country.”
So, previously, I was talking about how I was confused how they would still be trying to find him is everyone thought he was dead, but here the wanted poster clearly says “presumed lost at sea”. I think that will be interesting to see how the Pogues all interpret that.
Especially because they already had a memorial for John B and everything, I wonder if there will be any part of the Pogues holding out hope that they both could still be out there OUCH.
I’m going to circle back to this, but it looks like John B and Sarah are going to get separated for a little while in this man hunt, I could see my idiot himbo son trying to sacrifice himself so Sarah can get away but in reality just....stranding her.
“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid?”
Oh, sweetie....
“Well, Sarah Cameron, I do stupid things all the time without realizing it.”
The volume of his self awareness is astronomical. sir, that is your whole character summed up in your own words.
GOD, IT’S ME AGAIN. PLEASE LET THEM LEAN INTO COMPLETE HIMBO JOHN B THIS SEASON I’LL DO ANYTHING-
nyyooooOOOOOOOOOOOOM-
“Hold on!”
The complete abject terror I would feel having John Booker Routledge driving get-away and then saying the words “Hold on” while reaching fro the gear shift? The english language fails me.
Sarah, bestie, I’m so sorry.
I just wanna know-
what the plan or objective was in this situation. What was the reason for being this dramatic.
Rest in piss, bozo <3
“Ward’s still out there...”
Okay, same conversation they were having as before. I wonder what makes them decide they need to get back to the OBX for this tho.
“I can clear my name. This can all be over in one shot.”
It looks like Topper watching this but way more concerningly, correct me if I’m wrong but this 100% looks like....John B gets caught. And the DEATH PENALTY?! He did have a mug shot for the fliers in s1 and the one above but he was never brought in? Plus he just looks super dirty and dishevled in this one so I-
Jail break anyone?
I also still want to know if they’re going to go with a Topper redemption arc this season. like, does he know more than he should just from being around Rafe and his big fat mouth? Is he going to help out the Pogues even if it’s just for Sarah?
This shot just suddenly made me really sad. The thought of this all started because Big John left one last thing for his son to find, his literal life’s work. And when it all started, it was just a fun adventure John B and his best friends were going on together and having fun with. Then it all got dragged to absolute shit and turned into what it did, including the remaining 3 Pogues thinking that this treasure hunt took their two best friends away from them. And it’s nothing like Big John intended it to be.
Why my eyes wet?
Now we’re edging into what I was talking about earlier with John B and Sarah getting separated.
“If you think there is anything I wouldn’t do...”
Once again, John B is no where to be found. Also, just in case y’all didn’t already know or forgot Ward is an actual psychopath.
I believe this one of the new character, played by Jontavious Johnson (Stubbs). Based on the voice over it lowkey sounds like they’re implying Ward maybe hired Stubbs and Cleo to find and bring Sarah back. My theory would be I bet they do go to retrieve her, but she somehow convinces them that it would be more beneficial for them in the end to be on the Pogue’s side instead.
Miss Girl you gotta be keeping your head on a SWIVEL. Especially when you’re a FUGITIVE of the LAW-
“...you haven’t been paying attention.”
My guy, who are you clarifying this for?
It’s what you deserve for monologuing.
in all seriousness, the idea of them coming to face to face with Ward in Nassau after thinking they finally escaped him is genuinely terrifying.
“SARAH!”
It kind of looks like they’re either hiding their faces or covering their noses? I don’t know maybe it was from some tactic to get away from Ward.
What did I literally jsut say about yelling privileges, you unhinged mother fucker?
“I’m calling the shots now. I’m driving.”
The following progression of scenes made me actually snort-
“I can’t drive stick.”
PLEASE THE FINGER GUNS LAUNCHED ME INTO ORBIT I LOVE THEM, YOUR HONOR.
Alright, so now it looks like we’re in Charleston. This is the same scene with Heyward’s truck that got leaked from BTS (read: JJ and Kie shoulder touch).
One of the main things that stuck out to me in the following scenes which, you will see, is it lowkey looks like Pope is kind of heading up this part of the operation, or even going in alone? The following clips are just very Pope focused.
I don’t know what it means, it’s just an observation.
“John B was not the only one that Ward double-crossed.”
LIMBRY-
Bro, we have been hearing about this woman for literal months and I just have....so many questions?
Who the hell is she? How is she connected to Ward? Why is she in South Carolina instead of the OBX? How do the Pogues even learn about her and how to track her down? How is she meant to “help” them? GAH I JUST WANNA KNOOOW. I already know I don’t trust her though and no I will not be offering up supporting evidence.
Sir, that is my son please unhand him.
“I think you know what I want.”
.......no? But feel....free to explain yourself?
The print on the paper is the same one that’s on the ceiling tiles in the following scene. Obviously, with a key on it that most likely goes to the place a few shots from now.
Hell yeah, son, let’s get SLEUTHING.
“The treasure belongs to the Pogues.”
DAMN STRAIGHT.
Bestie’s I’m not going to lie, I stared at this frame for a solid 10 minuets and I have no idea what it says on there I’m sorry. Someone in the comments is welcome to enlighten us.
“We gotta find it first.”
I can’t tell if that’s just dirt or if he hurt his head? But he look GOOD right now for one thing. For another, same outfit as the one in the Twinkie from the beginning of the trailer.
Look at her. LooK AT HER! LOOK! AT! HER! I MISSED HER SO MUCH even in that damn smiley face top that continues to haunt my waking hours she is in it so much and it stresses me out for literally no good reason I’m sorry-
I could literally cry right now and I think that speaks volumes to how little we actually see him genuinely happy. Have I mentioned how much I love that red hat?
Also, probably not that important, but this is not from the same scene as the shots of Pope and Kiara were. This is from the next one-
“Woogity-woogity?”
“Give me some woogity, baby!”
Yeah, this pushed me over the fucking edge, the way that they’re actually happy and laughing? The fact that they kept woogity-woogity and made it A Thing? Yes.
I am, however, going to be intentionally ignoring what appears to be the very intentional stagingof having such an obvious space between where Kiara and Pope are sitting adn where JJ sits, even including the level they’re sitting on because I don’t have the emotional capacity to face those implications right now. Thank you for your time.
Yes yeeeeEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!
GIVE ME ALL OF THE SCENES OF THEM ACTUALLY GETTING TO BE TEENAGERS AND JUST BREATHE AND LAUGH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME AND NOT BE RUNNING FOR THEIR FUCKING LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!
before Rafe comes in and literally starts shooting because they can’t breathe for more than 7 seconds but we’ll....get to that.
They refer to Sarah as a Pogue this season or I burn Netflix to the ground. Your move, Jonas.
50 bucks says John B is driving the Twinkie again for the first time since being back.
I deadass think the Pogues JUST got Sarah and John B back and they’re just having the time of their life. Kie was in her smiley face outfit when Pope was in this one a few clips ago, and I still hold to the belief that that one still they released of JJ and Kie hopping over a fence is the Pogue reunion so-
Ward? I have no idea what he’s looking at behind the wall paper and I’ll be so honest I don’t care my eyes are only seeing Pogue content right now.
“This is a map of the whole island.”
This fit, when will John B learn how to operate buttons, stay tuned for season 5. Also my previous theory of this being their reunion outfits and stuff because Pope is in the back in the same jacket as before.
The plot thickens and so has JJ’s hair, Rudy drop the shampoo brand.
Please, dear God, tell me they’re back in the sex church. For @jiaaraa sake.
Kiara, your Madison is showing.
Okay, I really did try but all I can make out is Something to the tomb begin something something.
You’re welcome.
I am no expert but I do not believe boats operate on land.
John B looks like he is in the same outfit here that is in his mug shot we saw on the TV screen so I have a sneaking suspicion this is where he gets caught.
“John B is back-”
Once again with the damn sexual tension that’s always between Barry and Rafe in every scene they do are we about to kiss right now?
“-it’s him or me.”
First of all, no.
Second of all, I’m just....so very confused about this time line this season. It kind of looks like Ward and Rafe follow and find Sarah and John B in Nassau (unless those scenes by the truck were actually back in the OBX). So did they....go to Nassau, then just come right back when they did? I’m just confused.
Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.
Literally when will you stop at this point I am begging you.
This looks like the same scene the Pogues were, ya know, literally just having a good time at so fuck me, I guess.
Yeah, no, it’s going to be a no from me, I’m just going to pretend like I’m not seeing this and moving on.
I have simply no idea what is going on here or who that is on the bike but maybe JJ? Maybe Luke even? I think that’s JJ’s bike.
The sewer scene. The SEWER SCENE-
For months sicne that tiktok leaked this damn scene has been genuinely all I could think about. So (obviously) it seems like they’re sending Kie down into the sewer to go do seomthing and things go horribly, horribly wrong.
If you haven’t seen the tiktok, essentially all it was was JJ and Pope screaming and trying to lift up the man hole cover while Kie is begging for them to hurry from inside. I’m cheating a little bit as this isn’t a shot from the trailer but this picture was posted and it’s from the same scene.
I’ll just....leave this here. Back to the trailer shots.
Nice. Also, same shirt as mugshot.
Hey, um, what?
Kiara’s car, she’s driving, I can’t tell who’s in the back seat or the front.
Holy God what is going on and how can I as an audience member put a stop to it?
So, same scene as we will see and was in the teaser but, for some reason, they’re all jumping off of a giant ass boat into the little life raft where it looks like JJ gets hurt later but don’t you worry we’re getting to that.
JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE THEY BOTH LOOK SO DAMN GOOD AND THEIR LITTLE SMILES SPARE ME-
Cleo 🥵
I’m so excited to see her arc and what it brings this season you guys have no idea.
Please for the love of God be about to get Ward Cameron’s ass like he deserves literally punt him into jail right from Tanny Hill.
Sarah at My Druther’s with what looks like a bloody bandage on her side? Same outfit she’s wearing when they’re running from the police on the beach and she has the bandage there too so. Interesting.
Topper hugging who I’m pretty sure is Sarah, being a general douche because he’s clearly looking at John B like 😏
Clips like these serve to remind me just how many of my worldly posessions I would gladly give up to be able to punch Topper Thorton in the throat one time.
I think this is Cleo jumping off the boat with Pope after John B and Sarah.
Absolutely busting a lung at Pope’s form in this one.
John B and Sarah waiting in the life raft, still Cleo and Pope coming after them. The obvious next question is where are JJ and Kiara. The scene I’m sure you all have been waiting for is coming up and clearly takes place in the life raft as well.
So, I really think JJ and Kie get left for last, something horrible happens as they’re trying to jump (my head instantly goes to JJ maybe like pushing Kie out of the way and getting hit on the head instead or even just some accident).
And, oh my GOD a scene of him falling off the boat after it happens and Kiara diving in after him immediately, having to desperatly try to stop him from sinkingand get to the life raft holy shit-
Girl CATCH HIM?????
Because why wouldn’t this be Rafe’s fault. Part of me wonders if this isn’t related to JJ being hurt.
I am going to try and unpack this as calmly as possible because behind my computer screen I am vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass but respectfully.
WHAT IN THE FUCK IS TIAUEWFHLAILA
Okay, so scene wise, JJ’s hit his head somehow (probably while he was jumping with Kiara) it looks like and now they’re back on the raft.
In my opinion, this is either:
A) JJ is in really, really bad condition after getting hurt in the jump and they’re not sure he’s going to make it. So this is a “Please stay with me, stay awake, please don’t die” hug OR
B) They very narrowly just avoided a deadly situation (my first thought is JJ hits his head while jumping, passes out in the water, maybe almost drowns but Kie and the others get him onto the life raft in time) and this is more of a “Oh my God, you’re okay, you’re safe now, we’re okay” hug.
I honestly lean more to the second one based on the little bit of Sarah’s face we saw in the background. To me, it almost looked like she was smiling thru tears, which, fits way more with the second option than the first.
Anyways. Moving on before I burst a lung again.
(also, before anyone comes at me, no, I’m not happy JJ is hurt, obviously.
(Once again, arrest outfits). You can still see the bandage but it looks like Sarah’s limping now too so...good Lord give the girl a break maybe?
Everything in this trailer just went to shit so fast I think I have whip lash, can we go back to the Pogues hanging out and being happy now pkease I liked those scenes.
“I get it. You guys are scared.”
“No.”
She’s cute but, uh, hello sewer scene outfits. Seems like them planning to do whatever the hell they were going to do in the sewers but the boys are starting to get cold feet as maybe they should but hind sight is 20/20 I suppose.
“It’s kind of cute.”
“I’m not scared.”
“You should’ve just led with that.”
I will never be able to express how much I adore Pogue banter and general dumbassery and I have a feeling this season will not be lacking in either department
I high key don’t think these two are actually going to be there for this scene to go down but I’ll let it slide this time because-
They do be kinda cute.
It both feels like I’ve been waiting for this damn show for 3 years and also like I just watched season 1 last month explain that to me.
Either way holy shit. I missed this dumb show and these dumb kids so much it physcially hurts and WE GET THEM BACK IN T-MINUS 16 DAYS.
Also. Where The Hell Is Wheezie Cameron And When Will She Have The Rights She Deserves.
#THIS LEGIT TOOK ME ALL DAY#AND I HAD A BLAST#im simply not ready#jiara nation how we feeling#UGH i missed them so much dude#outer banks season 2#obx#long post#shot by shot rundown#jiara#the pogues#obx2#john b routledge#pope heyward#sarah cameron#kiara carrera#jj maybank#jarah b#john b x sarah#jj maybank x kiara carrera#cleo#rafe cameron#topper thornton
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BnHA Chapter 314: ...Or You Live Long Enough to See Yourself Become the Villain
Previously on BnHA: Some random assholes were all “let’s throw exploding spears at All Might and see if it activates his Conqueror’s Haki” and SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKERS, IT DID!! Elsewhere, Lady Nagant confusingly tried to capture Deku alive by shooting him in the stomach, but to be fair I guess that’s what happens when you send an assassin to do a bounty hunter’s job, so yeah. Deku was all “ouch”, and then because this is a shounen he basically just straight up forgot about it, and did a big fancy Smokescreen thing, and then activated his mildly incomprehensible new ki-blasting quirk which he got from the Third. En and the Third were all “hey Deku maybe let’s not just impulsively activate all this shit in the heat of battle when you don’t know how to use it yet and you’re already injured,” and Deku was all “thanks for the quirks guys but I’ll take it from here” and snuck up on Nagant and grabbed her arm and so now what’s going to happen I wonder.
Today on BnHA: Nagant is all “[shoots Deku again]” because of course she is lol. Deku is all “tell me about AFO!” and Nagant is all “why would I tell you anything?” and then proceeds to tell him her entire life story which is FILLED WITH SO MUCH MURDER, YOU GUYS. Holy shit. So basically she was an assassin for the HPSC, which we already knew, but somehow it’s one thing to know that, and another to actually see her running around capping dudes in the forehead and being covered in more blood than the elevator from The Shining. Anyway, so you’ll never believe it, but all that murder had a negative impact on her psychologically, and eventually led her to question everything she believed about hero society, and so she killed her creepy boss and was promptly sent to Tartarus. This extremely fun chapter ends with Overhaul showing up all “HI, HELLO, I’M STILL HERE”, because for some reason he is still here. Why are you still here, Overhaul.
“the beautiful Lady Nagant” oh you know your audience don’t you Horikoshi
well all right then! so I’m guessing this means that she is not, in fact, going to roll over and die just because Deku’s out here all “GOT YA!” like they’re playing a game or tag or something. ffff may the manga gods have mercy on our young suicidal protagonist
lmao so Deku is all “GOD I’M SO SMART, WHAT A GOOD STRATEGY I HAD, CAPITOL JOB THERE OL’ CHAP, CAPITOL” and lol, okay. I mean, it was a good plan though. but I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop here
“I’ll make you give me information on All for One” well there you go, lol. Deku Angst arc still fully engaged. still no light in his eyes either of course. just a lil chaotic ball of sleep deprivation and rage
lol, fucking THANK YOU though
oh my god what the hell did she do to him lol
did she shoot him with her elbow??? fucking look at this?? THIS IS WHY WE LISTEN TO HAWKS oh my god Deku are you dead
WHAT’S HAPPENING, IS THIS GOOD OR BAD, WHO’S WINNING
things that I wish I could tell from this panel which I unfortunately cannot tell
did she stab him or shoot him?? can you imagine if it was the former lol. why does Horikoshi keep stabbing all my kids. look Kacchan now the two of you can match
did she actually hit him or did he get away??
or did she hit him and then he jumped away?? just, what
well anyway, so now Deku is asking her why she sided with AFO, but he seems a lot more pissed off than when he was interrogating Muscular, though. probably because she shot him three times. fair enough
oh my god
does Lady have a blog here on tumblr dot com?? -- does Horikoshi have a blog here on tumblr motherfucking dot com?? why do I suddenly feel like this man is out here sneakily reading up on all our discourse
oh my god Deku it’s almost like getting up close and personal with someone who can shoot custom bullets from any distance and any position with deadly accuracy was a terrible fucking idea
IF ONLY SOMEONE HAD WARNED YOU NOT TO ENGAGE WITH HER AT ALL COSTS. IF ONLY SOMEONE HAD HAD THE FORESIGHT TO DO THAT sob. can you imagine how much shorter this series would be if characters actually listened to Hawks. Hawks, and Momo. why do we even let anyone else run the show ever
OH MY GOD
DEKU, RUN
OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING
this looks a lot like what happens to me whenever I play One’s Justice. those fucking combo attacks that you can’t fucking escape from and so your character just has to stand there getting their ass whalloped repeatedly while you wonder why you paid $40 for this
but anyways though. so Lady who did you kill?? I bet they deserved it, don’t worry I forgive you
(ETA: ANYWAY SO FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT LADY NAGANT DID NOTHING WRONG EVER IN HER ENTIRE LIFE. aside from murdering all those innocent people and shit. but there were CIRCUMSTANCES, and THEY WERE EXTENUATING, OKAY.)
-- holy shit
looks like the HPSC arc is back on the menu boys
so are we about to learn that the HPSC was going full Hydra on people’s asses? secretly dispatching anyone they deemed a threat to society?? “taken care of” as in you fucking shot them??
so then was the “hero” she killed actually one of the guys who was giving or carrying out these orders?? holy shit Lady, up until now I’ve mainly just been stanning you for your flawless eyebrow game and metal af quirk, but this shit could actually get real very quickly, and I am prepared to genuinely and sincerely love the shit out of you depending on what we learn next about your backstory
oh my god?!?
so wait, hold up. am I reading this right?? basically the HPSC started murdering vigilantes because they were worried they were gaining too much of the public’s favor?? holy fucking shit???
oh my GOD oh my god
“it’s been a while since I scarred you all with the dead dog and the graphic slaughter of an entire innocent family, huh,” Horikoshi says thoughtfully. “anyway so what do you all think of my new creation, the Spaghetti Bullet.” well, Horikoshi, so you know that squished-up face that Kermit the Frog makes sometimes? yeah. that’s what I think, if you must know lol
holy hell the juxtaposition
I’m actually kind of surprised to learn she had a lot of fans? what with her M.O., I was expecting her to have been an underground hero like Aizawa, but apparently not? then again I still have absolutely no idea how any of that works. I really need to read Vigilantes already
oh snap
nothing like a sweet dose of assassin trauma to finally round out our BnHA Trauma Bingo!! well done guys, we finally collected all of the traumas! hooray!
noooo Ladyyyyyyy
holy shit what a fucking chapter. like, this man promised us an assassin, and went and fucking delivered. I was not expecting it to be this dark, lol, but holy shit I am here for it
you know, at some point you have to start questioning the logistics of this, though
I mean, how do I put this... her quirk isn’t exactly subtle. that murder scene from a few pages back looked like the first season of Dexter for fuck’s sake, that’s not exactly “disappearing” people now is it?? and I mean, her bullets are literally made from her own fucking hair; it seems like it would be impossible not to leave any evidence behind. did no one start to wonder who the fuck was going around murdering all these people? or did the people who asked too many questions wind up getting conveniently “disappeared” themselves??
and hey, speaking of asking too many questions
holy shit is he blackmailing her??!? or no, wait -- what the hell is he reaching for in his pocket boy you better not
(ETA: what exactly was this man expecting fdslkjd. “uh oh my unstoppable hair trigger assassin who is literally always armed is asking questions, better announce that I am going to shoot her and then reach into my pocket veeeeeery slowly while she stands there all of two feet away.” how did this guy ever function as the head of a shadow government with these decision-making skills, I’m genuinely baffled.)
OH MY GOD LADY YES
this. right here. is why “run the fuck away” was damn good solid fucking advice. oh shit. but my god did this dude have it coming
so wait lol has she just been narrating all of this out loud to Deku this entire time
okay but can we just stop for a moment and appreciate the fact that they’re having this deep conversation about the dark secrets of hero society right in the middle of their intense mid-air sniper free-for-all lol
holy shit you guys, Nagant’s the one that should have made the tell-all video. I mean, no offense to you, Dabi, I’m sure you worked very hard on your video and did a ton of crunches every day so that you would look good with your shirt off while you told the world all about how your dad was a jerk. but seriously...
this is already like 100x more convincing than what he put out. also, gasp, is it another flashback
yes it is oh my gosh
so the HPSC Chairladyperson whom ReDestro killed used to be this guy’s direct subordinate, huh? I wonder if she kept the whole assassin program going after she took over. can’t say I was feeling any particular kind of grieving way about her death before, but certainly not now lol
but unfortunately Nagant has finally lost me at the same place where all of the villains inevitably do, which is to say when they somehow make the dubious mental leap from “society sucks and is bad” to “let’s just be openly fucking evil lol, worth a shot.” because when heroes murder innocent people and cover it up, that’s obviously bad (and I mean, it absolutely fucking is lol, don’t get me wrong); but when villains murder innocent people straight up out in the open without giving a fuck, they’re righteous revolutionaries? just -- is there really no non-murdery middle ground here?? I guess that’s what Deku and co. are for, hopefully
anyways oh shit Deku seems to have spotted something?? and he’s doing something weird with Blackwhip what
oh, he spotted her, I guess
lmaooooo
new favorite Deku panel right here. a masterpiece
oh my god you guys our little boy is starting to grow up before our eyes
you love to see it. and you can tell with those elipses that he’s gearing up to say something really cool and determined and badass like the shounen protag he is, yes please, Deku ilu so much please do your thing
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
IS THAT A TEENY TINY LIL EYE SPARKLE THERE OMG. still not anywhere close to his usual standard, but that’s some clear resolve there in his eyes there at long last! it always shines the most clearly when he’s being true to himself and his ideals, so I love that it finally shows up again here, when he’s reaffirming his resolve to help others no matter what
uh oh so what’s Lady going to do now
is it time for a trump card?? kinda sounding like it’s time for a trump card
???
I lied btw, this is my new favorite Deku panel. but anyways what is she up to now lol
ohhhhhh, lol
why does she seem shocked, lol. here I thought this was part of her plan, but apparently she forgot all about ol’ “Look Ma, No Hands” back up there
and so I guess that’s it for this week! so we’ve learned basically everything now about Lady and her quirk and her history with the HPSC and why she agreed to work for AFO. pretty much the only question that still remains is why the hell she decided to drag this asshole along for the ride! because I still cannot figure that out dsklkjlkf
(ETA: actually now I’m kind of wondering if they maybe have some past connection we don’t know about yet. when exactly was Nagant sent to Tartarus? is it possible she was ordered to track down and kill Overhaul at some point before that, but never got around to it? or something else along those lines? idk but now I’m curious.)
anyways Deku, I know that your empathy has no bounds and that you’re on a “saving villains” kick right now, and good on you... but also, if you decide to just like, skip all of that shit just this once, absolutely no one will hold it against you, I’m just saying. just, all I’m asking here is maybe let’s think twice before we start trying to reform guys who imprison and torture little girls for profit. I think maybe that’s a good place to draw the line. next week is going to be a very interesting chapter lol
#bnha 314#lady nagant#midoriya izuku#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha
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So I have this little headcanon (well,,,, not really a headcanon but more of a nice-to-think-about headcanon because it would never happen but it’s- like the title- nice to think about so im sharing it here) in which they’re all going to the beach in this sorta mini-van that bruce rented. And take in mind that this is the wayne family, but at the same time most people that wear a bat on their chest,,,, so they had to whack some things up.
BUT ANYWAYS, it was Bruce’s dumbass idea to buy a van and call it a road-trip, and honestly? no one was ready. That usually happens with big families, even with one that has most kids over 18. And how everyone was on board with the idea doesn’t matter because this is my headcanon and they are all now squished in a minivan and there are bags in the back and towels in the seats and there’s a cooler on top because it didn’t fit.
and just for reference the van was like SMALL. it was sort of like the school buses but way smaller, so they’re like buses in which there are three seats in front, driver, and then like two others (the middle one doesn’t really count because that’s where you put waterbottles and stuff). There’s a sort of space in the back, where you usually put the backpacks (these are like elementary school buses and every single kid has those backpacks with wheels and it’s a pain in the ass-) and then there is another set of four seats (that’s more like a sofa but no armrest- god please have patience there is literally not a single image on google im trying to be specific- and those are facing the back of the bus (so the backrest (?) is facing the place with the bags).
THEN we have another seat that’s close to this one but facing the opposite way but it’s only THREE seats so there’s a space for the next row of three seats and then there’s the back one that’s four again.
In conclusion, you can fit 18-ish people, driver counted.
and continuing with my story, it’s Bruce driving, Alfred as shotgun, a water-bottle or two in the middle, the bags in their respective places... and then...
disaster.
Babs is the only one sitting in the four-seat closer to the bags, harper is in the three-seat, Dick is there as well.
and then there’s the rest. Steph, Cass, Duke, Jason, Tim, Damian, they’re all screaming in the back and they’re throwing towels around and there’s an “OW! THAT WAS MY HAIR YOU DICKHEAD!” and a “THAT’S MINE!” and so many other things because. the back of the bus, it’s cURSED. And Bruce is just driving with a strained smile because he wants so badly to turn around and throw a waterbottle at each of their heads to get them to shut up (of course, it wouldn’t work because not even god can calm down the back of the bus)
Tim and Jason somehow get into this argument of how tim ‘has no friends’ and Tim shoots back that in fact he DOES, that he’s calling them right this instant. And bruce doesn’t even have a chance to yell at them, because now there’s a speedster and a cloned kryptonian right beside the moving minivan and Bruce is lowkey freaking out because none of them (the ones in the van and the ones out) are wearing their superhero costumes, and then Tim is just with his hands pressed on the window and he’s like practically banging the glass and waving and they can’t hear him but he’s like “HEY! HEY HYE HEY YOU GUYS MADE IT!!!” and then dick is just telling them to cut it out and slow down because you know, identities, and Steph is like HOLY SHIT THEY DID MAKE IT and Damian is just sitting upside down with his legs in the backrest off the seat and Duke is in the same position, making fun of Damian because his feet don’t reach.
Kon and Bart seem to get the hint because they slow down, but not before bart has literally jumped towards the MOVING VAN and vibrated through (i’m like 99% sure he is able to do that so-) and then he literally landed on Tim (tim actually softened his fall, because Tim’s back literally made a ~crack~ sound by hitting somebody’s knee) and stood up real quick and then started waving and laughing at kon, who was now running normal-speed beside the van.
And then bruce went FASTER and kon was like WHAT THE HECK OLD MAN and he can’t use his powers so he’s literally running behind the van and bart is laughing his ass off and then tim is like “BRUCE STOP THE VAN!” and then Bart is already calling cassie and telling her what happened and you can hear cassie laughing from over the phone and then Tim is just yelling at bruce in the background. Bruce eventually DOES stop, and Tim opens the door for him and Kon crawls in and Bart’s still laughing, and he’s practically leaning onto Dick and Harper, and they’re squished together and bart’s just laughing on the phone while Kon sits on the really far end of the opposite seat (practically on the door) so he’s the furthest from babs as possible because he’s actually terrified of her. Tim is just sorta awkward because he now realizes that he was a bit TOO excited to see kon, and then the back of the bus/van is staring at them and like what the hell and then Tim goes “who doesn’t have friends, huh?”, and Jason goes ‘pfft’ and he calls roy but he’s spending time with lian; he calls artemis and she goes, “but wasn’t this a family trip? what do you need me for?”, SO jaosn calls bizarro and then he barely answers the phone when bizarro goes “RED HER SAID NO. BYE” so Jason slumps and it’s quiet for a second when steph goes “is that GUM IN MY HAIR”. And then jason laughs and its chaos all over again. (i might make a ‘things that were heard from the back of the road trip bus post bc i have so many ideas oh my god)
and then they are at the beach, the bus barely stops and there’s a few bags thrown out the window, and people yelling at Kon to open the door, and Kon not being able to work under pressure so tim opens it and everyone’s pushing each other and Steph has an uneven strand of hair, because Damian went to ‘extreme measures’ and cut it so now steph’s hair is uneven and they were going to keep cutting it “to make it even” but then Alfred was like “you’re all going to clean the van afterwards so think carefully” and then nobody did anything and there’s literally a ziploc bag with steph’s strand of hair (damian didn’t even cut to where the gum was, he cut even FURTHER but yes, the gum is in the bag).
As I was saying, they get out of the van, and the bags are out and Bruce has NO IDEA what to do. none. It’s alfred that rents a tent and then Damian’s chasing duke into a random restaurant’s changeroom and showers and then cass is dragging harper that’s dragging steph that’s dragging jason and tim is getting the bags with Kon and bart and bart realizes that he doesn’t have a swimsuit and then he stops walking and Kon seems to realize too and it’s like OH MAN and they can’t run back (because no powers, rule set by bruce when two super-powered bros came in the bus) and They’ recarrying the bags to this tent (do you guys know what im talking about? i feel like we’re imagining completely different things- it’s this but much more people and there’s a bunch of people selling stuff like sunglasses and doign hair, piercings, tattoos even - for the tattoos thing it’s just promo for an actual shop they don’t tattoo you in the actual beach - ) and It’s literally Kon, tim and bart carrying the bags (which they CAN carry between the three, it’s not like they packed up half the manor) and then a minute later or so Steph is sprinting towards Tim and she’s yelling something Tim can’t understand and then Steph points at her bag (that tim’s carrying) and she screams something like “SAND! HOT!” and then she’s like high-knee-ing/sprinting even faster and Cass is just walking barefoot in the sand, super calm, but she’s got Harper on her back. Damian and Duke are racing towards the shadow (because the sand is cooler there), and next thing you know Jason’s aready in the tent with a coconut.
And if you haven’t thougth about how the Batfam would be in the beach then let me tell you, you don’t have enough spare time because i know for a FAT FACT that:
It was Jason that insisted on Bruce buying sand toys (a whole bag, i swear)
Damian tried coconut water, didn’t like it all that much (altho he loves the inside- idk what it’s called but it’s edible i swear)
Bruce put on an excessive amount of sunscreen
Duke has swimming trunks with the robin logo just to piss damian off (also Damian has matching ones but with the batman one)
Steph, Cass and Harper rented a banana boat (here’s a picture) and they dragged Jason and Tim along, just to toss them off in the end
Jason 1000% got stung by a jellyfish
Bruce bought like seven friendship bracelets from this guy that made them because they looked deadass cool
They played beach volleyball and let me tell you Damian can throw a really mean overhand serve (actually, i don’t think you THROW a serve, but like,,, serve one-)
dick got buried in the sand, courtesy of Jason
bart was pissy because he couldn’t go in the water, so he and Kon sprinted with normal speed (they both had water-proof anklets that sucked their powers, so it was REALLY a no-powers vacation, courtesy of Bruce, again.)
the only ones in stock were neon, and they settled real quick so now theyre sprinting back and cardying a bag of keychains they thought looked rad as hell and now tim caught up to them and all three are practically skipping towards the water
,,,,they forgot to put sunscreen on.... all of them,,, they forgot....
tim made a sand castle
in teams of two (kon/bart, tim/cass, duke/harper, steph/jason, dick/damian) got on each other shoulders and basically spent five minutes trying to see who would be the last team standing, splashing water everywhere and stuff
first team to go down was Dick and damian, because steph pushed damian and by trying to keep himself on Dick's shoulders, damian accidentally poked dick's eye (sort of CLAWED in so you know what i mean).
second team to go down was steph and jason, because damian doesnt play fair and so he swam down and literally just scratched Jason's ankle, knowing damn well that the jellyfish sting was there. Jaosn shrieked and steph lost her balance. so much for vigilantes at night with stealth and talent, huh.
third team to go down was tim and bart because kon insisted on being on bart’s shoulders and that’s easy peasy because i mean, bart’s not WEAK, but he’s not TALL either and it’s not like Kon weighs a feather and they’re on the deeper side,,,,, you can imagine the rest
Now there’s two teams, and they call it a tie because otherwise someone’s gonna end up injured (altho tim likes to say that he and cass won)
There’s music playing in the background, with really vulgar lyrics that alfred disapproves of, but you know. It’s not his beach.
THIS IS REALLY JUST A SCREAM POST SORRY IT’S NOT WHAT YOU GUYS SIGNED UP FOR BUT TAGLIST ANYWAYS: @red-hood-redemption @screennamealreadyused @bikoncon @catxsnow @thesporklecat @thesesickfics-justmakemesick @hauntingsonofrobin anddd i think i forgot someone sorry
#i would actually sacrifice any of you to go to the beach right now#damian wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#duke thomas#cassandra cain#bruce wayne#stephanie brown#harper row#Alfred Pennyworth#barbara gordon#conner kent#bart allen#batfamily#batfamily headcanons#jason todd x reader#timkon#young justice#batman#nightwing#batgirl
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Parking Lot
This is a love letter to the Dean who told Cassie everything about his life after knowing her for 2 weeks and who didn’t see What Is And What Should Never Be as a horror show until he saw his bond with Sam was gone. I don’t think it would work for a later seasons Dean, who had pretty conclusively abandoned this idea for himself. I’d love any advice or critiques!!
Title: Parking Lot
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Word Count: 3801
Summary: A parking lot quickie leads to an illuminating argument between Dean and the reader.
Warnings: Swearing, smut, angst, ~*idiots in love*~, fluff
In a couple ways it seemed like a lesson; you really shouldn’t have been fooling around in a parking lot no matter how late at night it was. Especially not a bar’s parking lot, potentially more likely to be busy at this hour, shadows be damned.
But it wasn’t all your fault, not by a long shot. Dean knew exactly what he was doing, getting a Manhattan rather than his standard straight bourbon just for the cherry, rolling it around with his tongue and licking his fingers of the juice while you waited for the guys you were playing pool against to shoot.
If Sam had been there you might’ve been able to keep it together for politeness’s sake, but you didn’t give a shit about these people and you weren’t doing research for a case, just blowing off steam post-job before heading out of town in the morning.
Two could play at Dean’s game, though, you arching your back deep into the table to make a shot and practically purring “your turn” when he was up, hovering close enough to see the goosebumps spread over his neck when he smirked and obeyed. He finished the game lightning fast with a string of laser-focused shots and you silently downed the rest of his drink as the guys ponied up, tossing thick folds of cash onto the table and shaking Dean’s hand. You didn’t even feel guilty for hustling them, partly for their ignoring you but mostly for the distraction of Dean’s hands reracking the balls and grabbing your coat, sliding a palm to your lower back with his pinky just barely under your waistband. It was all you could do to wait until you get to the back of the parking lot to shove him up against the Impala and bite his bottom lip almost too hard before slipping your tongue into his mouth.
You felt the smile and heard the groan at the same time, both pouring into your mouth as you ripped at Dean’s jacket, trying to yank his flannel off his shoulders with it. You abandoned the project to paw at Dean’s tee once you’d gotten the outer layers bunched down around his elbows, kissing him hungry and dark like he was yours to take.
One of Dean’s bitten off groans trailed off into a barely-there whimper. For all his posturing he loved this, when he could give up being predator and let go for a few minutes to be your prey. He didn’t start fumbling for the door handle until you flicked open his belt, his other hand clutching at a handful of hair at the back of your neck and kissing down your jugular fast and hard. Imagining the way Sam was going to roll his eyes at the hickeys only added adrenaline while Dean finally got the backseat door open, sliding you in and unfurling on top of you. Still working on his jeans, you dragged him tight between your legs.
“You are—so—mean,” you grinned between kisses. “Teasing me like—that.”
Dean’s eyebrows kicked up on his forehead, playing dumb like you knew he would. “Me? Never.” His act dropped the moment you finally got his fly open, wrapping your hand around his cock through his boxers and punching all the air out of his lungs. His head rolled back on his neck almost violently, impossibly long eyelashes grazing his cheekbones and lips parted around a breathy “fuck.”
His switch flipped, Dean scrambled to strip you as fast as possible. You tried to help him in large part to avoid tearing your clothes, ending up crushed into the leather of the bench seat somehow with one leg fully out of your jeans and underwear, the other knee tangled up in the fabric. He’d shoved up your shirt and bra and it would’ve been uncomfortable and tight if any of your senses had been turned to it instead of Dean wetting his middle finger to slip-slide along your clit, murmuring something about “I love it when you do that,” into the side of your neck as he swirled circles into you. After a few moments you were writhing in the seat and Dean pulled that finger back up, sucking you off of it before pushing it up inside you, then another.
“Fuck me, Jesus Christ Dean,” you moaned against his tongue, yanking him forward until he guided himself into you. The stunted warm-up helped but that first push was always a shock, and whatever sound you made was loud enough that Dean covered your mouth with his hand, grinning conspiratorially down over fingers still steeped in you as he thumped you into the car door.
“Quiet—someone’s going to hear you.”
You bit his hand and Dean yelped with a chuckle, pulling it back before you roped around his neck and kissed him lasciviously. “Don’t tell me what to fucking do,” you smirked.
He stabilized himself against the Impala’s door to pound into you harder, you wrapping your legs around his waist and whisper-moaning filthy nothings into his ear, biting his neck until suddenly you felt that finely honed awareness pique in the back of your mind, flaring hot enough to burn and you froze, thighs clamped tight around Dean.
“Baby, I—”
“Don’t fucking move—did you hear that?” you hissed.
Dean tried to pull back and tensed hard, shuddering into you as you tried to lift your head to see as surreptitiously as possible before the delayed processing hit you. When you looked up at Dean he didn’t meet your eyes, wincing over one shoulder with his arms still planted.
“Tell me you didn’t,” you whispered.
He was silent for a half-second, still didn’t meet your eyes. “I tried t—you fucking death-gripped me with your legs, what was I supp—”
“Oh my god, get off of me,” you yelped, trying your best to sit up and snatch at anything to clean yourself up before realizing it was useless. “FUCK! Fuck, Dean, fuck, what’re we going to—I can’t be—”
He leaned back into the seat to get back into his jeans and fasten his belt. “One thing at a time, okay? They’ve got like pills and stuff right? We don’t even know if it’ll take.”
You rolled your eyes angrily at him as you jammed your leg back into your jeans. “Our fucking luck it’s already triplets.” You ran a hand through your hair and took a deep, hard breath. “Okay, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”
“No, I get it.” He slumped into the seat next to you. A long beat passed, you and Dean both sitting stupid, half-dressed in jeans and untied boots, hair all over the place. He cleared his throat. “Wanna head out?” His voice was small and rough; you knew he was sorry and maybe a little embarrassed. If you were more highly evolved you might’ve been able to console him more in that moment, but your heart was bounding through your chest about what was going to happen next—if. You managed to squeeze his hand in solidarity if nothing else before grabbing your stuff and moving to the front seat.
Minutes of silent road passed before Dean reached over and covered your knee with his hand. You capped it with one of yours and saw his lips twitch up at the corner in response.
He glanced over at you tentatively. “Maybe it uh, wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, you know?”
Your incredulity spun you around in your seat so you were fully squared to him. “What?”
It was dark in the car but you thought maybe Dean’s cheeks started to look pink. “I don’t know, teaching a little squirt how to play catch or whatever, might be cute.”
“You cannot be serious.”
His eyes flicked back over to you and his lips pursed out, trying to look non-plussed. “Whatever. Just trying to make you feel better.”
“No, you’re not. Because that exact possibility is scaring the shit out of me right now and two minutes ago you were trying to convince me we were going to pill this away. So it’s—is that something you want? Having a kid someday?”
Dean took his hand back under the guise of using two hands to turn the steering wheel. “No.”
You waited, willed your own heartbeat to slow down. As you knew he would, Dean kept talking, keeping his eyes on the road more to avoid the vulnerability of looking in your eyes rather than out of necessity on the long, straight stretch of road. “I don’t know. It really seems that bad to you? Having something that’s really, like, ours? Just you and me?”
“We’re not talking about a something, Dean, we’re talking about a fucking kid.”
“Jesus, fine, forget it. Sorry I asked.”
His knuckles went white on the steering wheel and underlined that Dean Was Done Talking. What an absolute waste of a fun little night out, leaving Sam to have a couple hours alone. Now instead of getting back looser to a well-rested Sam, you were going to barrel into this crappy motel terrified with a pissed off Dean, dropping it all at the younger Winchester’s feet to deal with (again).
It took you until the motel parking lot to muster up the courage to touch Dean’s wrist. “Can we talk for a second?” Dean pretended to be annoyed but you could tell it was an act shielding a spot of tenderness. He flopped his hands in his lap and looked over at you expectantly. “Maybe it’s dumb to even talk about this; like you said, it might be nothing. But I just—I mean if—do you really want that? What would that even look like? Not even with me or whatever obviously but leaving hunting, leaving Sam—”
“Leaving Sam? Who said anything about leaving Sam?”
“You volunteering him as nanny?”
Dean sort of half-rolled his eyes and shifted to face you. “You know as well as I do that Sam doesn’t want to be doing this, not forever. I’m not saying we should be fucking trying, obviously, I’m just—I’m going to stick around no matter what happens. I wouldn’t ditch you with my mistake.”
You scoffed. “How noble.”
“Not like that. But I’m not a complete moron, I know we’ve played with fire a couple times and I know what I’m doing.”
“I guess I just figured that was heat of the moment stuff.”
A flash of something passed over his face, gone almost too fast for you to decipher. Offense? Sadness? “Yeah, part of it. But you—you’ve never even thought about it?”
“Thought about how I’d get a couple hundred dollars and find a clinic, yeah. I—we can’t be hunters with a baby. And I won’t be stashed in some safe house somewhere, see you and Sam for a day or two every couple months, be the loner single mom who can’t tell anyone anything about her life.”
“Single mom? I’m not a fucking deadbeat. I just said I wouldn’t make you deal alone.”
You shot him an exasperated look and took a deliberate breath to keep from rising to the bait. “So what, now you want to get married? Dean, I’m not even really your damn girlfriend.”
He reached for the handle fast enough that you had to scramble across the seat after him, Dean pausing in the open door. “Look, if it’s not what you want, that’s fucking fine. But don’t patronize me. Not my fucking girlfriend? Fuck you.”
You flew across the Impala and out of the passenger door, following Dean as he stormed across the asphalt. “Fuck me? How are you mad at me?”
He spun on his heel in the parking lot. “I tell you I’m willing to leave all of this—all of everything I really know, fucked up as that is—for you, would make you my whole future and you, you—your response is that you’re not even my girlfriend? Yeah, fuck you.”
“Dean, that’s not what I—” but he had already started storming back to the room. “DEAN!” you yelled, standing stock still in the middle of the lot. He paused with his back to you for what felt like a long second before turning back around. “I don’t want to bring this back to Sam. I’m sorry, okay? I’m just—I’m scared shitless about something that might not even happen and then you spring the idea of some shotgun wedding on me—”
He rolled his eyes without even a hair of humor, the muscles in his jaw tensing hard enough to catch the cold overhead light. “See, how can you—” he started, before taking a deep, deliberate breath and starting over in a tone that was forced calm. “That’s everything I ha—that’s all I can give you, is loving you and fucking being there for you. So if it’s that fucking cheap or skanky to you then I’m sorry for wasting your fucking time.” When you didn’t respond his spine straightened a few degrees. “What? Say something. Tell me how stupid I am for suggesting that being tied together might not ruin your fucking life.”
You felt that your mouth had fallen open but didn’t care. “You love me?”
Dean’s face contorted like he was looking at a mirage of something bizarre, curious and disbelieving and frustrated. “I lo—of course I love you, what the fuck?”
“Y—you’ve never said that to me.”
“What? Yes I have.” His voice softened a shade, the certainty his anger had afforded him beginning to slip away like sand at high tide, but his eyebrows stayed indignant.
You’d never been more certain of anything in your life, that Dean had never said that, because it was something you wanted constantly. Craved, even. Were kept awake at night by; the desire to have your feelings for Dean reciprocated too intense even to dream about. So you justified and bargained with yourself: if fooling around and this kind of casual commitment—girl who would cover him and Sam in a firefight and didn’t hound him for a label—was what he wanted, it was what you would give. Anything for more time with him or the chance to kiss those lips, to see the way he looked first thing in the morning, to get annoyed at his bullshit idiosyncrasies.
“No, you haven’t.” So many more words tried to burst forward from you that you had to bite your lip to be sure your mouth stayed closed.
Dean held your eyes, willing you to say something until he lost his patience. “Who says that stupid shit all the time anyway? You know I love you; I’d do fucking anything for you.” His voice had started to rise again but the heat behind it was some sort of hungry desperation, not hurt rage. “I’m—you don’t think I love you?”
You started to feel completely exposed by the industrial light, seared alive by green eyes. Shifting your weight from foot to foot didn’t help, and you fought angrily against the lump forming in your throat.
He looked over his shoulder and the barked “FUCK!” startled you despite yourself. “Kid, I—FUCK, that’s what this is? I loved you since that first fucking hunt in Cleveland! You really think I’m just…? This isn’t some Beaver Cleaver ‘I put you in a family way’ bullshit, I—I don’t know, I just, with you it feels like for the first time maybe it’s not insane to think that I could—that we could—whatever, man, I’m not fucking talking about this.” A hand shot up to rub the back of his neck, a nervous tic you recognized immediately.
You took two big steps toward him. “Dean, I just—I didn’t know. That’s—I mean I’m not going to say I’ve been thinking about it; but it—it’s more because I didn’t even think it was on the table, you know? I thought we were, I don’t know, really close friends that sleep together.”
Dean’s eyebrows flew up his forehead and he blew an almost-laugh out of his nose. “I don’t even know what to say to that. Never heard of any friends that live together and fuck raw.” His tongue slid along his molars and he sucked his teeth looking down at the ground, flicker of a despondent, self-deprecating smile twitching his lips. “Uh, noted, I guess. Sorry I misunderstoo—” and his eyes on the blacktop prevented him from seeing you cross the few strides between you, catching him off guard when you kissed him hard enough to bruise, hard enough to feel everything you wanted to say, wanted to scream (at him, from the rooftops, ohmygodhelovesme) take a backseat for a moment. He grunted at the impact, stunned for a half-beat before surging forward into you, wrapping into your hair and pawing at your hips with desperate effort to get closer. Feeling the grin against your mouth, you wished you weren’t standing in the absolute middle of the parking lot, frenzy to have something to push each other against building to a fever pitch inside you when Dean tugged your hair back to look at your face.
He looked downright pornographic; swollen, flushed pout and impossible lashes framing bedroom eyes Marilyn or Sophia would’ve envied. A washing of cockiness only amplified the effect, those pillowy lips pulling into a lazy smirk. “So is this a really-close-friends kiss or what? Trying to figure out how much tongue I’m supposed to slip you.”
You giggled good-naturedly, letting the weight of your head press into his palm. “You are such an asshole.”
“Yeah, you fuckin’ love it.” He sucked on that sweet pulse spot under your ear deeply, some accessory movement with his tongue enough to make you see stars and miss that it was you letting out that ungraceful whine-moan. When Dean spoke the air passing over your spit-slick neck exploded in goosebumps. “And I love you.”
Dean kissed you in that searching, delicious, eat-you-alive way he sometimes did after a particularly victorious hunt when he either had all the time in the world or didn’t give a fuck about making it; soothing-probing with a little edge of danger that hypnotized you. It pulled at the sweater of your being and tugged, steady and cloying until you were something loose and ephemerous in Dean’s hands, something equally likely to float away or explode right there in that parking lot, clearing a hundred miles in every direction and leaving behind only the imprint of your craving for him. It’s a miracle your brain was able to function at all. In the best circumstances this flayed you open and coming on the heels of having the most beautiful gift you could imagine dropped at your feet—Dean loves you, he loves you and always has—it felt like it could stop your heart and you wouldn’t care.
“I need about twenty minutes in a cold shower or I promise I’ll knock you up right the fuck here,” Dean growled, low with sin directly into your ear.
You laughed breathily. “I thought you said that might be a good thing.”
His chuckle was rough as he pressed his lips to the crown of your head. He rested there for a moment before murmuring into your hair. “You really thought we were just messing around?”
“Dean, come on, I—don’t make me say it.”
“Say what?”
You swallowed shakily, tried to get a handle on your thoughts through the endorphins. “You—I—I’ve had it bad for you, thought if I really like, acknowledged it that it might fuck up what I did get to have of you or that some commitment would freak you out or whatever so I just—I don’t know, tried to be cool about it. Obviously we’ve always been kind of ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ when we were apart—”
Dean cut off your rambling. “Uh, has there been something you’ve been ‘don’t tell’-ing? I wasn’t ‘don’t ask don’t tell’-ing.”
“You haven’t?” you asked, surprised enough to be knocked off your nebulous trail of thought.
“No, I mean—no. You would’ve been fine with that?” The disbelief was so clear on his face it was practically casting a glow around him.
“Not fine with it—of course not—the thought of it kept me up nights, but I didn’t you to think I was some jealous freak.”
A smile spread over his face slowly, butter on hot toast. “So you would’ve been jealous?”
“I was jealous, I thought that’s what was happening.”
Dean’s head lolled back on his neck a few degrees, smirk cementing itself in place. “That’s kinda hot.”
It took the tension out of the moment and you chuckled under your breath, glancing down at your feet. “Yeah, you would say that right now, psycho.” It was breathy and shaky but Dean let you have it, throwing his elbow around your neck affectionately and tucking you into his side. With a kiss to the crown of your head, he started you both walking to the room lazily. At the door, you stilled him as he reached for the knob.
“Would you really want to keep it? Like, no bullshit, if that’s the situation, that I’m actually—you know, you wouldn’t want me to…?”
He licked his lips and bit the bottom one. They parted for a moment before he began to speak as his gaze flicked between your eyes. “Babe,” he finally breathed, and there was a note of croak there. “I’m in this for the long haul. If that’s where we’re going then we’ll deal with it. If you don’t—if you’re not there, I get it, but for me, I—yeah. If it’s going to be anyone for me, it’s you.”
“Even now?”
“I could think of worse things. Worse things have happened to me this week, probably.”
There were so many follow up questions running through your mind, so many rock-solid certainties that Dean wouldn’t really be able to quit hunting, that even figuring out how to go to an OB-gyn on fake IDs was likely to be more complicated than either of you realized, but his lack of hesitation was so sweet, so earnest, and you were still riding that he loves me high. And you might’ve gotten lucky; it might be nothing, no parking lot baby to contend with, just a tense reminder to be more careful next time. It was easier than you might’ve thought to give yourself permission to relish it for the night, consequences be damned.
-
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haikyuu!! as types of best friends.
➼ ft. hinata, sugawara, bokuto, osamu+atsumu.
➼ playlist. talk too much - coin, higher - banks, romanticism - mrs green apple, me and my friends - james vincent mcmorrow
➼ a/n. these have light bff2l undertones hhn i love that trope, pls forgive me. </3 + there’s some timeskip spoilers for atsumu & osamu’s part.
❀ hinata :-
i wish the childhood best friends trope a very good evening.
no one’s better than hinata at making friends, even if you met after he spiked a ball into your face. you’re childhood best friends too !! so imagine being a child and having to pick up this goofball by the scruff, who has the audacity to ask you to play with him after giving you a scratched up forehead and teary eyes from a ball to the face. but, like, you were the one who said yes so it’s on you :-)
sometimes you bicker but it’s ok bc he would literally go to the ends of the earth for you if you asked. no kidding. he hates sitting still anyway so he’ll just gravitate towards where you are like you’re the sun. also gets you taiyaki in the evenings but climbs in through your window instead of using the front door like a normal person. (he has too much energy </3) if you hear someone yelling your name outside your window and ranting about volleyball games, you know who it is.
ok when he makes you mad with his bullheadedness, you'll be complaining with kageyama (who agrees vehemently) and hinata gets pissy bc you get along a little too well when you're throwing insults about him. (he's not jealous, no, of course not.) but.. how long can you stay mad at this sunshine child anyway?? you'll be pretending you never got mad at all within a few hours and go back to joking around.
he gets distracted if you're watching a match sometimes (bokuto somehow got it into his head that he needs to show off in front of you) so you got banned from watching. he overcomes it later on so you can cheer him on in his jersey too <3
gives you ALL his attention when you talk or even complain about your life. he reacts a lot to whatever you have to say so you have to pretend there aren’t people behind you glaring at hinata for having the same decibel sound level as a jet engine.
you have matching keychains you bought at a local fair !!! (you got a pochacco one for hinata but it’s super worn out by now so he keeps it in his wallet instead.)
he has not won a single multiplayer video game against you (*cough cough* mario kart *cough*) and you don’t even have to be good at it. if you call him a loser, he’ll lose even harder. gets unnecessarily mad at just dance and you have to calm him down.
... you’ve probably kissed bc the two of you (mostly him) were too eager for a first kiss and you got fed up with his pubescent ramblings and ended up kissing him. and then had an early mid-life crisis bc you guys are definitely just friends. (unless.. unless he doesn’t think that way.. surprise surprise 😳) also he's.. kind of bad for make out practice... it’s like kissing a month old puppy.. sorry :/. if you happen to make a lot of offhand comments and tease him about his kissing skills, he WILL turn tomato red and argue in gibberish. only do that in private bc the rest of the world thinks you’re sickeningly cute together >:(
overall, your best friend is a ball of sunshine (who occasionally pisses you off) and your #1 motivation to get out of bed. it's mostly bc he's somehow there to get you out of bed though you've repeatedly told him to not climb in through your window. at least the sun is smiling upon you every day <3
❀ sugawara :-
being best friends with him is such a secure relation !!
he’s your soft place to fall but also would provide gentle (not so gentle) reminders for your wellbeing (STUDY!!! WATER!!!! BREAKFAST!!). doesn’t get mad when you say you skipped breakfast but gives you this look of disappointment which is 100x more effective. still gets a granola bar for you though. also he literally carries bandaids for u and he’s been doing that since second grade bc you fell off the swing ONCE. you know, just in case. if you’re an accident-prone hazard to society, you’re in luck.
BEST HUGS especially if you had a rough day and want to sob into his shoulder. if u damage his $85 hoodie tho, he will make u do his laundry and also buy snacks for him. but like he is so soft (his skin is SUPER soft bc he actually follows a skincare routine now) and cuddly like a teddy bear, it's a small price to pay for salvation.
he will hype you up for anything you do !!!! new outfit? offers to be your personal photographer. scored an A+? will treat u to your fav ice-cream. new job? will tell everyone just how proud he is.
ALWAYS shares the last bite with you and smiles to himself when you eat it so contented. also!!! hanging out at cafes and taking cute pictures is a must <3 even though you’re not dating, you’ll have photos together that make you look a real couple which ensue teasing from daichi and asahi and admiration/jealousy from noya and tanaka. also he gets weirdly protective of you around the team (i’m looking at the moron quartet) and you have to pull the “koushi you’re not my mom” card. it really strikes a chord with him when you say that out loud.
will egg your ex's house with you if you say the word. somehow gets more pissed than you at your ex (if they're a shitty one). it's kind of scary when he's mad too so.... good luck calming him down. he's also really good at sarcastic trash talk so if you happen to meet your ex on the street... send prayers for their self-esteem.
you don't really fight often but if you happen to disagree, he'll go about it in a pretty mature way and talk it out. if you pick a fight on purpose, he'll catch on to it and either tickle you (excessively) or flick your forehead as punishment for trying to rile him up. it’s impossible to prank him!!!!! it’s like he’s got a sixth sense or something so you might as well give up on anything of the sort.
you said you want to get a dog (or cat) with him in the near future and he somehow equated that to having children. turned bright red and started saying it’s too soon to be thinking of that while you had daichi stop you from smacking some sense into your overly imaginative best friend. (i mean, you do need to live together if you want to raise a pet sooo)
his lockscreen is a picture of the two of you so a lot of people who try to hit on him take the hint quick. he says it’s unintentional but you know he can be terribly scheming at times. if you say something like “why don’t you date me for real, coward” he will malfunction and not be able to look you in the eye. (“don’t joke around, y/n” “what if i’m not” “it kind of feels illegal to date you” “what do you mean?!💢”)
anyway you are one lucky mf if you have sugawara koushi as your best friend even if there are both ups and downs (mostly ups). having someone care for you so blatantly certainly makes the question of romance arise but you’re content with the most loving best friend ever.
❀ bokuto :-
you guys are the “two best friends in a room, we might kiss” “yes we will” “what” type of best friends PLS
it doesn’t matter what stage of life you met him, it’ll feel like you’ve been best friends since the beginning of time.
it’s just so easy to make friends with this airhead and by god’s gift, you cannot physically get annoyed at this man. sometimes his friends will complain about him being forgetful or blunt but you’re just there like. yeah. that’s bokuto. love him for it. (you seem to have a lot of patience.)
he probably gets into trouble with authority unwittingly, so save your weekends to sweet talk his way out after accidentally implying the coach has a weak mindset. afterwards, you go get ice cream or something and hang out at the dog park to forget it happened. (the amount of second hand embarrassment bokuto has given you though... you need some hard drugs to forget all of it.)
you probably make a lot of friends through him in high school/college but at the end of the day, it’s just you and him and sometimes akaashi making sure you guys are alive. if you guys are alone together on a friday night, you’ll still be having fun!! very often, it takes shape as karaoke :-) bokuto thinks he’s really great at rapping for some reason (he’s not) so cue you screaming the lyrics in an attempt to ruin your part of the song equally. also he always sets the key wrong??? although you sing the same songs each time?? sometimes he picks a song neither of you have ever heard and the both of you try to guess the melody. he’s terrible at it but at least he’s funny. there’s not a single song he hasn’t had a voice crack in.
if you go clubbing/partying with him, get prepared to be introduced as the friend of “the guy who did four keg stands in a row before proceeding to do a cartwheel unprompted and somehow not throw up”. is on first name basis with the bartenders/hosts and gets you free drinks. also gets hit on often but is oblivious unless they’re being very straightforward. if he’s not into them... you have to pull the s/o card and save his ass. oh also he barks at anyone that gets near your drink.
will always exaggerate when introducing you to new people. “y/n and i met when i saved them from drowning a terrible death.” “it was the children’s pool and you were the one that was screaming.” “and then y/n didn’t really thank me but it’s not like heroes need thanks to do the right thing.” “kou, i will push you into a pool right now, let’s see how well you swim.” (he learned swimming to impress you so joke’s on you.)
he likes to watch you do stuff at the end of the day, so if you see him go o_o at you doing homework, you can just put your earphones on and focus on your work. even if he’s making.. a strangely.. adorable expression. also LOVES to listen to you talk about your day when he’s tired, he says it helps him sleep better (so expect a lot of nighttime calls). moreover, if you say you had a bad dream, he’ll comfort you with his ridiculously confident tone of voice (unless the dream was about something bad happening to him, then he’ll freak out and you’ll have to comfort him instead </3)
ok one thing that’s annoying about him is that he probably leaves food crumbs over your stuff like laptop, bed sheet, etc. you clean it up but bokuto.. is a bit... distracted to notice the mess he’s making. it’s usually pretty difficult to get him to be more aware, but like your glare is enough to make him at least try to be careful from the next time. (either that or he’s become sensitive to your change in mood/emotions bc you know... you’re best friends after all.)
i’m not gonna lie, he probably catches feelings for you at some point. he wants to, like, keep it lowkey bc akaashi told him to take your feelings into consideration too but?? it’s so hard?? you’re literally so pretty?? everything you say is like music to him??? he reacts reflexively to all the firecracker feelings u give him. he probably says he likes you all the time but you dismiss it with “as a friend right :-)”. there’s no climbing up from that one, sorry bokuto.
to summarize, if a moody golden retriever was your human best friend.exe
❀ miya twins :-
they feel like a set. it would be strange to have one of the twins as a bff and not have the other one around whoops 🤷♀️
either you and osamu bully atsumu in your free time, or you and atsumu annoy osamu for fun (or both) <3. it’s always a good idea to team up with osamu and prank atsumu for fun btw. (put wasabi in his breakfast pancakes and you’ll get a very pissed off but weirdly cute tsumtsum. you can blame it on osamu if you don’t want to face his wrath.) your alternative is to embarrass osamu in front of strangers with atsumu, have fun with that. (second hand embarrassment also works.)
when you were younger, you pretended to not be able to distinguish the twins bc it would visibly rile atsumu up and then you’d go “ok you’re atsumu”... which would further rile him up. osamu got used to your shenanigans though it ticked him off the first time too LOL. call them the wrong name on purpose and they’ll start a riot; be careful when you’re playing with fire pls.
you guys played a lot of knight and prince/princess/royal when you were a kid and atsumu would always try to make osamu the evil dragon holding you captive. in the end, you were somehow the knight, osamu the prince to be rescued and atsumu the big, bad dragon. (it’s kind of funny in hindsight. your parents have photographs of the three of you fighting like no tomorrow.) also speaking of which, your parents are also friends and have bets on which twin you’ll marry (or if you will at all). it’s tearing your parents’ friendship apart.
these two have DEFINITELY fought over whose jersey number you’re going to wear to the games ( “oi, ‘samu, stop brainwashing my best friend into wearing your stupid double digit number” “you know i’m the best friend, ‘tsumu. they clearly like me better over yer ratty ass.” “what did ya say?!?!? if anything, you’re the one that looks like ratatouille.”) you wore kita's jersey number to games.
imagine sunday picnics with the boys !!! by that, i specifically mean osamu and his perfect bento boxes <3 sometimes the two of you will cook together before your outings while a sulking atsumu stands outside bc you didn’t let him. (let him in, you monsters.) he says he can cook too but the last time the twins’ bickering almost burnt the whole kitchen down. the picnics continue well into adulthood and you get to diss your boss to the twins who will always support your rants. (sometimes atsumu will tell you it’s your fault but you can smack him off. we only need supportive besties here 🙄)
if someone hurts u.... they’re going to need divine intervention to be safe... you have two well-built, physically adept best friends ready to beat the shit out of anyone who deliberately breaks ur heart.
when the twins get into a physical fight...... oh boy. it kinda pisses you off that they’re spewing profanity at each other and you’re the one getting glares. but at the same time, you don’t really want to step into a fight that has nothing to do with you. people should solve their interpersonal issues on their own. they have never fought over you, this isn’t twilight <3
but the question did come up once on which twin you like better; it’s not something to seriously fight over though. if you chose osamu, atsumu will complain for six days straight and you’ll start to regret ever answering the question. if you say atsumu, osamu won’t feed you his onigiri anymore for a few days which is just as bad. the safest choice is to say neither bc it will both be funny and you won’t suffer too many consequences. if you say you love the both of them for being your best friends all this time and go all mushy, there’s a slight chance they’ll go soft too. god help you from the bone crushing hug you’re about to receive 🙏
you make sure to not miss any of atsumu’s official games !! sometimes he’ll wave at you and make the reporters give you hell bc he’s a little shit. just push osamu to them and run away if it gets that bad. (he gets free advertising for his shop, he should be grateful.)
osamu is super good at cheering you up!!! whether it’s with food or with pleasant talk, you’ll be feeling much better with a full stomach and a calmer state of mind. as for atsumu, he’s really good at you cheering you up by distracting you. he’ll talk about his team or this new serve he learnt and the world will seem a lot brighter bc he seems so happy about it. whichever twin you go to, it’s win-win.
in return, the twins take up a good chunk of your time. sometimes atsumu will crash at your place after a game though you’ve told him to not lead the damn reporters here. osamu makes you taste test his experimental onigiri... which are not always good..... no seriously, why’d he put honey and tuna in there ?? but still, your life is ridiculously colorful with them around.
anyway, what can i say except what’s better than one best friend?? two best friends !!!
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#atsumu x reader#osamu x reader#bokuto x reader#sugawara x reader#hinata x reader#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu scenarios#atsumu#osamu#bokuto#sugawara#hinata#rosemi.hcs#kind of all over the place but it's about the vibes thank you#feel free to correct any typos i made im about to pass out gn ;-;
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Okay I've got one: Prompt 15 with Reds. 🤣🤣🤣
15. “I can’t hear a word you’re saying, I just keep thinking about how good that mouth feels.”
Somehow they can make even breathing a competition.
Send me a prompt and some characters! Reminder that the challenge is to make everything SFW, so we're getting creative here.
List of prompts
xxx
“So, we’ve called the paramedics and they’re on their way, but until they arrive it’s up to us. Remember the acronym, kids: C-A-B. What’s the first thing you do?”
Aiyeesha Simpson, a gunner in the making destined for academic greatness and social ruin, raised her eager hand. “Find a flat surface to lay him down!”
“Correct.” Blossom took Brick by the shoulders and shoved him down to the floor. A gaggle of Girl Scouts gathered around him as he wheezed for air.
“Ow,” he said.
Blossom patted his chest. “Please choke more quietly.”
I will end you, he thought so loudly he hoped she could hear him through the murder in his eyes. There was community service, and then there was cruel and unusual punishment. When his required hours were up and his record expunged, he was going to write a very negative Yelp review of the local Townsville Girls Scouts of America chapter and tank this year’s cookie sales. Supremely annoying, outrageously petty, and totally legal. That would teach Blossom for sure.
“Place your hands here between the nipples.”
Some of the Cadette Girl Scouts giggled. To be fair, Blossom of all people saying the word nipples in reference to her former mortal enemy as she trained a room full of twelve-year-old girls in CPR using him as the dummy was a perfect storm of absurd and kinky that he did not see coming. And now he was giggling himself, because he was a teenaged boy who thought the word nipples was funny regardless of the very clear contextual cues, and that pubescent shame was on him, one hundred percent.
Blossom, an ancient and inconveniently attractive evil resurrected in a lab for the sole purpose of making his life miserable, did not appreciate his amusement. “Push hard at a rate of 100 to 120 compressions per minute. Remember to put your bodyweight behind it, like this.”
Brick flexed, and Blossom pushed against his heart like she was trying to crush it in her hands. Once, twice, three times she administered compressions, and Brick’s eyes glowed red with impotent rage.
“Assist Blossom with her CPR lessons to her satisfaction, and we can forget this ever happened,” Mayor Bellum had promised Brick when he lost his temper and blew up an (empty) ambulance. Butch didn’t need his Super stomach pumped no matter how much he drank, so the ambulance and the four-figure bill that came with it were completely unnecessary. This defense did not convince the mayor, however.
The promise of the bill forgiven and his record cleared—and the deterrence of Aiyeesha Simpson filming the whole thing to upload to YouTube later—gave Brick the strength not to eye beam Blossom in front of the children.
“Okay, who wants to try chest compressions on the dummy?” Blossom offered to the girls.
You evil bitch, thought the aforementioned dummy.
After the third little girl properly placed her sticky, little girl hands between his nipples, Brick had had enough. “Hey, I’m still dying over here. Can we move on already? Jesus Christ.”
“Of course.” Blossom smiled, and she had never looked more terrifying.
Brick hoped Butch was suffering. He hoped he was hung over so bad he couldn’t piss standing up. He hoped Butch tried going online only to find that Brick had disconnected the Internet and cut him off from all his online games and porn because fuck Butch and his weak-ass stomach.
“Who knows what the next step is? Maybe someone other than Aiyeesha this time?”
None of the other girls seemed willing to stick their hands up. The carpet under Brick had scorched where his power leaked out in his building resentment for this entire situation. The smell of burned polyester just made him feel even more powerless to stop this.
“No? Okay, well, remember the acronym. A is for airway. You want to be careful about a possible neck injury, so gently lift the chin…”
Blossom’s hands were not sticky like the Girl Scouts’ hands, but they were cold where they touched his skin and forced his head back.
“Are the paramedics here yet?”
Brick got a tight fist in his short hair for that one, and he considered it a small victory. “No. Something about a shortage of ambulances, apparently.”
Biiiiiiiitch.
God, he was going to destroy her so bad.
“Once you’ve cleared the airway and confirmed there are no obstructions—”
“Then you kiss!”
Some girls picked up the giggling again. Blossom, ever the professional, cleared her throat. “Mouth to mouth is a life-saving procedure and not something I’d recommend doing to someone you plan to kiss.”
Wow, great advice.
Some girls still giggled and whispered to each other. Brick had a sinking feeling that this was only going to end with his embarrassment: everyone knew that the cold judgment of pre-pubescent girls was the absolute worst type of judgment a person could suffer.
“Are you gonna show us?”
“Well, I don’t think I need to show you all how to breathe—”
“It’s in the manual! You have to demonstrate every step.” Aiyeesha waved the CPR manual, and Brick realized his misjudgment. She was no vapid goody two-shoes in the making, but a future Honors Student with a secret, a Work Hard Party Harder, an Ivy League Early Decision candidate with all of senior spring semester to slack off because no one was ever going to touch her 4.3 GPA.
Aiyeesha beamed a winning smile at Brick, and it was as chilling as Blossom’s.
Jesus Christ, there are two of them.
True to form, Blossom had never been able to defy a good instructions manual. “I suppose if it says so in the manual…”
Locking lips with Blossom was not a big deal. He’d done it before when they were kids, and he could appreciate the irony of a gesture meant to save his life this time rather than end it. She didn’t even try to mess with him by using her ice breath, just went through the motions as described in the instructions. The girls were disappointed with the lack of hormonal fanfare of it all, which was probably for the best. Leave it to Blossom to make mouth to mouth the sexless, medical act it was literally intended to be. He was almost upset, because it felt like she’d won something here, which could only mean he’d lost.
Disappointed but more educated than they’d been when they’d arrived two hours ago, the Girl Scouts dispersed after the lesson, leaving Blossom and Brick to put away the equipment they’d used.
She held a dummy torso, and she was looking at him with that pinched, constipated look she got when she was about to say something especially snobby. Instead, she surprised him. “Brick, thanks for being mature about it. I can honestly say you surprised me.”
He stared at her.
“I’ll talk to Mayor Bellum. I’m sure you’ve done enough to meet your hours quota.”
He had not fulfilled even half of his required community service hours and they both knew it.
“So yeah, thanks. I can finish up here if you want to leave.”
Was she trying to get rid of him? Why?
“Brick? Why are you looking at me like that?”
When Blossom was winning, he was losing. That was simply the way of the world. So, if she was losing, it could only mean he was winning.
“Are you listening to me?”
Brick smiled in what he hoped was a cool, sexy way if he imagined looking at anyone but Blossom. “I can’t hear a word you’re saying. I just keep thinking about how good that mouth feels.”
Blossom stared. “I’m sorry?”
He would make her sorry.
“Yeah, you’re a great teacher. I could really feel your passion for demonstrating the lesson correctly. With your mouth.”
Her staring intensified. “Did you.”
“Oh, yeah.” He leaned his hip against the table like he’d seen in the movies. It worked for Daniel Craig in Casino Royale, and that guy had convinced Eva Green. Iconic. “I could really feel you trying to save me.”
Where was Aiyeesha with her phone to film this? There was so little he could do to rattle Blossom as they got older, and while the challenge delighted him, it was also exhausting being constantly a step behind her. Was this truly her demise? Had he won the Teenage Experience? Was this poetic justice for how she’d once killed him with a mere kiss, only to suffer the same fate in turn? He could have cackled. This was better than trolling the Girl Scouts of America reviews, although he might still do that because it was a genius idea and he had always indulged his own genius ideas when they came to him.
So infatuated was he with his own self-fellating digression that he was slow to react to Blossom sidling up to him. Her hand was still cold on his chin, and it sent a shiver down his spine. “Shall I save you again?”
Brick’s dignity drained with his blood, which was an unfortunate side-effect of being a teenaged boy that he would just have to suffer. But winning was about recognizing one’s weaknesses and working around them. He leaned into her personal space. “Please.”
He wasn’t sure who kissed who first, but it was happening and all he could think was I am better at this than you and I hate you and also Do that again. He tried holding her waist, and she fought back with her fingers in his hair. Not one to be deterred, Brick tried some tongue but pulled back when he tasted thirty degrees below zero. He immediately went back in because he could feel her superiority, her Got you, you horny idiot, but the joke was on her because he liked her cold, always had when it was hot as balls out and he’d make up any excuse to pick a fight with her just for the chance to cool off.
The Girl Scout troop leader walked in on them competitively making out in the classroom like it was an Olympic sport and put an end to things, leaving them at a frustrating draw for now. They said barely a word to each other when Brick glared at the troop leader so bad she flustered and didn’t even question them before running out of there with some excuse about getting the wrong room.
Later that evening, Brick caved and changed the Internet password back just so Butch would quit whining at him. He Googled kissing techniques and spent the next hour and a half watching YouTube videos and reading GQ articles about How to Please Her Like a Champion, because he was a champion and a winner and he was not going to lose to Blossom in this. Not a chance.
This had to be what they meant when they said kill with kindness.
“I’m going to end you,” he muttered to himself as he read about the top ten highest voted movie kissing scenes, which he would then stream and commit to memory in order to be fully armed and armored for the next time he encountered Blossom alone in a classroom. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe during their shared free period.
Truly, he had the most genius ideas.
xxx
If you enjoy my writing, check out more of my fics on AO3, link in my profile. I’m currently updating Trinity House and The Alchemy of Us. Thanks for reading!
#powerpuff girls#blossick#ppg reds#ppg brick#ppg blossom#powerpuff girls fanfic#september fic prompts#great pick Carrie!#this one was fun
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