#(just a bit sad to see posts where it’s a called a ‘group picture of all of them’ but it’s only the aforementioned three)

[frosty-tian]

*Sees a Rescue Bots (Cybertronian) appreciation post featuring the main four.

“Ah, that’s nice.”

*Sees it’s them talking about how much they love ‘every bot’. Except Boulder (leaves him out completely).

“My respect goned.”

(This is a joke post/not meant to be taken seriously.)

[herejusttosufferalong]

Pancake anon here.

Whew, where to even start! It has been a week.

At this point, I think I'm just as confused as the rest of you. However, I do have some theories. Take all of this with a massive grain of salt.

I do personally believe N's song posts are about L. I can only see a few reasons she would post these so publicly.

She genuinely just likes the songs and wanted to share

They are a message to someone who she can't communicate with readily

They are a message to the fandom

N has admitted she is chronically online. She is also incredibly smart and calculated about her decisions and what she allows the public to see. Finding songs that are so clearly about love and sex and sharing them "just because she likes them" makes no sense for N. Especially right now after all the speculation from the press tour and backlash L got after the pap walk and beyond. She knows what everyone will read into them and there has already been so much chatter around her love life for her to post songs like this willy-nilly.

If she wanted to share them to communicate with someone it would have to be with someone she can't easily call or text. Yes, she is a millennial and using songs to express your feelings is a core part of this generation. However, see my previous point. She wouldn't do this publicly unless she had a very good reason. And I personally think not having an open line of communication is one of the reasons. But I don't think that person is L. I actually think it's a message to A. More on this in a moment. 

Which brings me to the last point, that the songs could be meant for the fandom. I believe this is also one of the reasons. They were meant to share with the fandom that she is in love. Who is the fandom going to automatically think/hope they are about? Of course L. And these songs are incredibly L/N coded. So if she wanted to let us know she was in love and it wasn't about L, I truly believe she would be more deliberate in how she shared this information so it wasn't misinterpreted. She's also protective over L, and she wouldn't want to send that attention to him if it wasn't meant about him. 

Which brings us to the topic of A and the friend group. It has been eerily quiet from everyone (except T & C) since their return from Italy. T & C seem to be business as usual but everyone else disappeared. It feels a lot like pre Italy when we all thought something was going down. I still think it was. My gut feeling is things were tense with L&A between GQ & Italy but somehow got settled enough for the Italy trip. Upon returning, my guess is things soured again. Not 100% sure I can pinpoint what exactly the issue is, maybe it have to do with DM, but I don't think it really matters. The silence is deafening amidst all the very loud break up rumors and N's social presence this last week. 

Okay, so here is my delulu gut feeling for what is going on. Again, HUGE grain of salt here. I 100% recognize I could be reading everything wrong. 

The Italy trip and pictures being published was a bit of a breaking point for N. Not in a "sad girl moping over not being with L" kind of way. But in a "Fuck this, I'm not waiting. I'm going after my man" kind of way. I think something snapped and she decided she decided she was going all in to let him know she wanted to be with him and also let A (and L's other friends) know that she isn't holding back. Cue the shade of the CW birthday post, the scrabble board, possibly the shirt photo (though I'm unsure my thoughts on that at the moment), and most importantly the songs. 

The first song was such a deliberate choice. A song about a conversation on the telephone from someone you haven't heard from in a while is definitely going to trigger fans to speculate about L. And even if that wasn't her intention, we know she saw it is what everyone's reaction was. But she chose to leave the song up for the full 24 hours. Then 48 hours later, she decided to double down and post another song that has all kinds of messages about knowing someone very well and there not being any pretense. Almost as if she was confirming our suspicions, because what could be more L coded than that? 

The silence from A after all of this was shocking and very telling. N was poking the bear, and the bear was not responding. Even if N did not intend all this about L, the fandom was going crazy, and to remain silent for so long during these situations is not her norm. 

Which brings us to current events and rumors about Cyprus. Is/was L there with A? I honestly don't know and I go back and forth on it. On one hand, the rumors are based on two tweets from accounts that went private. One account is speculated to be from a Balkin country. But I do think A is either there right now or was there recently so it's very possible he was too. In truth, I honestly don't think it matters if he was because, again in my delulu gut feeling, sometime recently N has decided to make it very clear to L that she is in love with him. She decided to stop waiting for him to be passive in his relationship with A and just go for it. And I believe she's letting us and A know that this is happening. I don't think she would so confidently do that if it wasn't moving in the direction she hoped. 

I honestly wonder if, and lean towards the idea, A is in Cyprus without L because things are ending and she's getting some family support and maybe doesn't really have a place to live right now. I know some people also speculate she is there for a job and this could be needed if things are ending, but I haven't seen clear evidence of that yet. However, her post yesterday is showing me that she isn't going to go quietly and she is going to continue playing games and try to rile people up. I think we might be in for a rough few weeks if any of this delulu is correct. 

So that's my��2 cents for what it's worth. I will say, I have also had a roller coaster of emotions this week as many of you have. I go back and forth on a lot of things. But I keep bringing myself back to the last few stops on tour and how obviously in love with each other they were. The way things went in Galway with N's family and the "I will wait for you" song following that stop. And I can't get past the certainty that N is very intentional with what she shares and knowing how fans will interpret it. 

Cheers WH patrons as we approach rough waters ahead. 

💜🥃

[kaija-rayne-author]

Hugest of sighs.

I really hate it when I can feel a special interest dying.

It's like watching something you've loved and put your everything into for however long get smaller and smaller in the distance. Until it disappears in a puff of smoke.

I can feel it happening with Dragon Age.

It's actually managed to hang on for a long time, so I guess I should just... wish it a fond farewell and let it go.

I was going to write a less acid filled version of my editorial critique/review about the gameplay preview to send to the devs, but why?

I don't get the kind of interaction I need on posts like my Dragon Age posts to help me keep the special interest alive.

The devs aren't going to listen to some internet rando like me if I did waste my time writing it. Not even if I'm actually a professional editor and this is in fact my job that I'm pretty good at.

They don't even toss me a heart on responses to their posts. And they probably wouldn't read it even if it did happen to make it through all the stuff they probably get on their feeds, anyway. Valuable professional editorial critique or not.

Before I stepped way back from social media I could easily get thousands of @ in a day. I know what they must be dealing with.

I have other things I should really be spending my time on.

Sadly, my special interest in Dragon Age has been on life-support since I saw the gameplay preview.

My DA gaming group has gone from a couple hundred people, most of whom weren't active, to waaaaay more people than I'm comfortable being social with. (I have since muted most of it and withdrawn from anything I'm just... not interested in anymore.)

I honestly feel the new look for Solas killed Solas for me. (Given I'm solavellan that's saying one hell of a lot.) For a bit there, I was hoping he'd grow on me. But apparently, I haven't been inoculated with that particular style of virulent mould yet. So it hasn't happened. Every time I saw a picture I just... cared a little less.

Where once I had the fires of a volcano inside my heart for this franchise, nothing but ash in a breeze remains.

It's always possible that something could happen to reignite my passion for it. It's happened a few times before for faded special interests. It could also be my depression talking and I'll feel completely different tomorrow. That's happened too. (So far hasn't happened in the threeish days since I wrote this. It's probably not the depression.)

But... After seeing that gameplay preview, and listening to the Q&A, and reading the Game Informer post... it may just be time to call Time of Death. As someone who loved the first three, and who absolutely marinated myself in the lore, I frankly feel betrayed. (I mean... Varric with a beard? Really? There were story significant reasons he did not, in fact, wear a beard, did they forget that? Like they forgot his bloody hair colour?)

So long, Dragon Age. It was fun while it lasted.

I truly do hope people enjoy the blathering posts I did about it when passion filled me.

I hope people truly do enjoy the new game. There's too little joy in this world and I hope with all my heart it gives you as much joy as you can handle. I'm just a little sad it won't for me. I'll always have the first three, which I do legitimately love to pieces.

I'm not even crying or upset. I just... don't care anymore.

From a professional standpoint, that's always a danger when you change a piece of media too much. There has to be a certain amount of continuity to it so it feels the same. Without that?

You lose obsessed people like me.

You lose the older gamers who loved what Dragon Age was.

And absolutely, yes, fiction does need to change. It's an integral part of the whole thing. If it doesn't change, if it doesn't adapt, it dies just as quickly as if it changes too much. I like to see change in media. It's needed in so many ways. Change can be hard to adapt to, of course. Or in some cases impossible. Shrugs.

There's a professional balance to these things. It wouldn't surprise me if I have a bit of savantism when it comes to editing and writing. I just seem to deeply understand how it all works in ways others rarely see. Looking at a novel or a game or a show from an editorial perspective is very much like looking at a 4d puzzle for me. I can instinctively see what works and what doesn't.

It's just that, in my honest professional opinion, they tried to change way too much to appeal to a different set of gamers than those of us who are a little older and have loved the feel of the first three games.

It's not the change itself I object to. I'm definitely not one of those people who thinks that DAO was the best DA ever. I've loved them all for different reasons. But they all still felt like Dragon Age. Even DA2, which a lot of people hate, still felt like a fantasy RPGish adventure. (I enjoyed it for what it was. I'd've liked to see what it could've been with more time, but for what it was, they did a great job and it was an enjoyable game).

DA4? From what we've seen so far, it doesn't even remotely feel like a fantasy RPGish adventure game. It feels like a cheap star wars/FFXIV/Fortnite knockoff designed for a much different type of gamer. (Which was actually confirmed by Epler in the Q&A. They did, in fact, design it more for younger players than those of us who have been waiting for it for however long.) Professionally, I believe that was a mistake that may cost them.

The darkspawn alone are a bloody travesty. WTAF are those things? And yes, I've seen the 'lore excuse' that it's the red lyrium making them look like bad halloween deco. I'd buy it if they were kinda spiky and had red lyrium growths and stuff like the red lyrium infected creatures in DAI. But it's like they forgot their own canon.

I dunno. It really just doesn't matter. I'm pretty sure that no matter how beautiful the backgrounds and some of the art they've just... lost me.

I guess I write these kinds of posts so others in the same boat as me know they aren't alone.

You aren't imagining it. While change is in fact good and necessary to a certain extent, they've changed it so much trying to appeal to a different market that it really doesn't feel even remotely like Dragon Age anymore.

[seriousbrat]

Why do you like snape

Why? because he's an interesting, complex character and I love his dysfunctional friendship with Lily.

he's not "good" but that's not why I like characters, I also love James and Sirius but their flaws and growth are what make them compelling to me, just like with Snape. I don't care for a woobified version of these characters that makes them into harmless little puppies who did nothing wrong, nor do I like when they're made out to be unreasonably evil and irredeemable bc neither is true. this might get a bit long sorry:

I see Sev as a child as being caught between two worlds. On the one hand his Muggle father represents everything he hates. Violent, belligerent, ignorant, careless and cruel to his loved ones, (and this is my hc) overly obsessed with football to the point where Leicester City's losses had a profound effect on stability in the home. I think growing up with Tobias and seeing the way he acted, esp at the pub with his Muggle mates, had a lot to do with Sev's prejudice towards Muggles. Even kinder Muggles like the Evanses I think he viewed as lesser. He was drawn to Lily, yes she was pretty but she was also a witch, the only other connection to the wizarding world in Cokeworth.

On the other hand, his mother. I think Sev's relationship with his mother was much more complex. I do think he resented Eileen for not using her magic to stand up to Tobias (imo she was like Merope where her magic diminished in the presence of her abuser) and basically dooming him to life as a half-blood, but he did seek to connect to her, to her heritage as a witch. he viewed this as an escape route from the oppressive "muggleness" of Tobias and also as proof that mixing with muggles was a bad thing for wizards.

Interestingly enough I think Sirius did a similar thing in plastering his bedroom with muggle stuff to underline his differences from his parents, but the similarities between the two are another story

I think Sev viewed himself as constantly being held back by his blood, by his Muggle upbringing. He resented people like James and Sirius and his fellow Slytherins for their privilege, which had as much to do with class as it did with blood. Here's a really good post on how class defines snape as a character. (though idk where they're getting the black country, it was only ever confirmed to be in the midlands but still. great post)

Finally going to Hogwarts wasn't the great liberation he'd pictured, however. I mean in some ways it was but he was immensely unpopular from day one. Obviously James and Sirius were horrible to him, but he wasn't accepted by the Slytherins either at first. His friendship with Lily did not help matters, and I think sometimes he was a bit embarrassed about it, as was she. They stuck by each other though, and that's something

He was desperate in school to gain validation, recognition despite (what he saw as) his great disadvantage as a half-blood. So when Mulciber and Avery started noticing his talent and bringing him in, he eagerly accepted their friendship and (imo) Mulciber especially put in A LOT of work to radicalise him, preying on his doubts and insecurities and feeding into the worst parts of him. Not that it's all Mulciber's fault, Sev still made Choices™ but I think we underestimate how easy it is for children, young boys especially, to be radicalised into hate groups. It's sad and I think that's an interesting thing to explore, for me at least.

My headcanon but in SWM he called Lily a mudblood not bc he truly believed it, but because his slytherin friends were present and he couldn't bear being humiliated in front of them. Again this isn't a justification, but I don't actually think he had much against Muggleborns, though he did view Lily with a sort of paternalistic air. He thought she was hampered by her upbringing (not true) and related to her in that sense. No one talks about this but in DH he tells Phineas Nigellus not to call Hermione a mudblood. That's growth baby

ofc he was very prejudiced against Muggles. it went too far in his case, but I'd argue that a lot of characters in HP display a tendency to view Muggles as stupid or ignorant, even if it is in a good-natured, condescending sort of way. imo Arthur Weasley as a character is supposed to show that wizards are just as bumbling and clueless about Muggles. Importantly, I think Harry himself does this sometimes, because of how the Dursleys treated him

ANyway, I think a fundamental thing is that his love for Lily superseded all of this in the end. Imo he was trying to protect her, always, and despite his heartbreak at the loss of their friendship I think on some level he was relieved that their distance meant she was kept away from the likes of Avery and Mulciber. And also WEIRD hc but I think a part of him almost... trusted James to keep her safe. Yes this is all very condescending, but that's Severus imo

Obv the picture I'm painting isn't especially pleasant, but so what? He's miles better than the other DE characters that fandom fawns over. He was still a scared, insecure, abused little boy once, and that justifies nothing but ultimately he sacrificed everything to do the right thing. Yeah it was largely about Lily, but honestly he fucking hated Harry's guts and still did everything in his power to protect him. To me he's an incredibly tragic character and a compelling one. Not everyone has to like him, and there's a lot of reasons not to but I do.

[jadetheblueartist]

IM SO SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED YOUR TEGAN ASK

I feel so bad :( you said it took you three hours and also I had written a huge response and now it’s gone ;-;

Okay so I’m going to rewrite my response but I’m really sorry if I get things wrong since now I can’t review what you sent ;-;

————

I LOVE THE IDEA SO MUCH!!!! And I would love to hear more about their training and life on the ship!

I may be obsessing over Talon and Megan a tad bit…

I love all the possibilities of how they passed the time in the car so much. It would be so awkward at the start and I’m all here for it!! I imagine Talon carried most of the conversation from the beginning until after they really got to know each other. I feel like at the start Talon would just awkwardly try to tell her what has happened to the earth while she was gone in hopes of starting some conversation. I’m imagining the parking lot picnic with them just drinking slushees and eating whatever gas station food seemed good (I’m assuming everything is kind of run down?)

Car karaoke. Oh it would be amazing. Talon trying to find songs Megan likes and trying to get her to sing along, windows rolled down, it’d be such a vibe.

With the race scene I can’t stop picturing the scene from princess bride where they both are rolling down the hill XD

Their relationship is so great, two strangers bonding in a long car ride… oh wait they already knew each other? They were already in love from book one? But Megan’s memory was wiped- WAIT NO THEY WERE IN LOVE AND HER MEMORY WAS WIPED!?!? Okay, okay, it’s fine at least they became close again, just a fresh start nothing to worry about… HER MEMORY WAS WIPED A SECOND TIME!?!? TALON THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD!?!?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (this is so tragic but I love it so much)

Talon nooooo why the tragic backstory ;-; (I love it very much)

Oh and the art? I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! I love Talon’s design!!!!!! The drawing of him saying happy birthday to himself makes me so sad ;-;

Also question time!

Do you have designs for the sci fi ppl? Are they like aliens or just advanced humans chilling in space? Does Talon hide his tattoo? (I love that type of angst so much mhm hidden scars [in this case a tattoo tho]) and you said there was an image limit… could I see those drawing you couldn’t show? Also why is it called Tegan (is it bc Talon + Megan = Tegan…)? That should be all of my questions…

Anyway I absolutely love this story and please feel free to tell me more whenever! (I’d love to hear a lil more about Ivan too)

Again really sorry abt deleting the ask ;-; I hope you have an amazing day though!!

(I feel like I’m forgetting things I wanted to mention but idk)

Oh my I wrote out this whole thing and it deleted it for me hahaha let’s try this again

No worries about deleting the ask it happens hahaha and it doesn’t look like you got anything wrong so yay!

I’m gonna answer this paragraph by paragraph

-IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT and I’m pretty sure I have either the original google doc or a “Megan’s POV” doc that I can look into to give you those details :)

-I’m so glad you’re obsessing so we can be in the same boat

-I’ve been mulling over that car scene for years and somehow you managed to squeeze out even more serotonin for me to devour I thank thee. And I think it’s run down ish, like people are still there but WW3 is kind of happening/ just happened soooo you know

-it would be the vibiest ^^

-I’m so glad you said that bc I couldn’t connect the dots as to what that scene reminded me of but yeah that’s amazing

-IKR the mind wiping rocked my world. My friend was at the point where she was writing the post separation explosion and we were on face time and she casually mentioned “oh you know the cars weren’t the first time they met, right?” I went feral trying to get all the info out of her hahaha

-yes his backstory makes me so sad…

-I’m glad you like the design! It was our group’s “hot guy” design hahaha I’ve tried to make it more individualized to him over the years tho, and that happy birthday one gets me every time (especially since that’s probably how he spent most his birthdays…)

Yay Question Time!

-I believe I could at least get the designs for those people sometime soon. They are just random people who decided to work for big bad (aka the voice, bc they only heard his voice through speakers at first). The voice decided he could make some good money abducting children and forcing them to be assassins so he did that. The government doesn’t know about them bc they hide in space. The few organizations trying to take them down are the only ones who really know about it

-talon has a few different tattoos, the one he got initiated with is a tattoo/ permanent burn so it has to stay covered to protect it, the other is just on his neck and he leaves that one in the open (I can point it out in the pics below)

-and yes! Tegan is the ship name for Talon and Megan (it was that or Melon hahaha)

-Ivan didn’t really have much personality in the oh other than he was angry bc the scientist that snuck into the escape ship was dating his crush, I’ve made some personal modifications to him in my head though making him more protective rather than just angry (he’s also Megan’s cousin) and I just remembered I have a drawing of him? So cue the picture section :)

Picturesssss

Here’s Ivan, the permanent third wheel (he doesn’t know tho)

The first ever drawings of Talon and Megan 😬

Moving on… idk which of these are repeats so lemme know if they are and I could probably substitute them for new pics

And now the og Megan design vs the much needed redraw

Ughhhh the one on the left still haunts me…

I was struck by the limit again so I might reblog this with a few more, idk hahaha

But reading through this ask made me so happy you have no idea (insert the “I don’t normally feel things but that one got through” donnie gif)

Thank you so much and I’ll look into the daily life on the ship and the sci fi guy designs :)

[golbrocklovely]

So we cant have an opinion? Ok..if you think calling us names just because we have an opinion is okay, then its weird. We say what we think about the drama and about the things they do. Also its very sad that youre protecting m and still throwing shade at shea even tho m isnt any fucking better. I dont understand you why you hate on stas and shea and not on m, she isnt ANY BETTER. Some of you should know that every person can have a different opinion. Okay bye

the inconsistencies in yalls arguments are FASCINATING to me lmao

if i'm weird for calling you guys names, what exactly are you for constantly shitting on colby and calling him a manwhore, trash, fuck boi ect???? what about all the terrible things you say about m??

also… what drama is there to be had? m posted a picture. how is that drama? it's only drama bc you guys have such vitriol for her that you need to find any and all reasons to hate her. same thing goes for k.

and if we are really gonna bring up shea and stas - let's get one thing straight. for all the reasons i don't like either of those girls, NONE of those reasons are bc of how they look. but that seems to be the SOUL reason yall don't like m.

or maybe the only reason yall comment on her looks so much is bc you know NOTHING about her and don't really have anything else to add to the conversation besides "m has fake boobs".

as for shea and stas, first off, i don't even care about stas anymore. she's off doing whatever she wants. i spent months on here defending her until i couldn't anymore. and then there was a period of time i didn't care for her and what she did, which was basically try to make every fan think her and colby had a thing going on while he was literally taking another girl on dates. but at this point i don't give a fuck about her. she's gone and is the least of my concerns.

but shea…. i have literally given LISTS as to all of the reasons i don't like her. bc she has actually done questionable things for years. and especially now - with all of her livestreams consistently bringing up colby, she can't even keep her own story straight as to what went on between the two of them. she lies bc she wants to look like the victim. that's not to say that colby probably didn't do her wrong at some point. i ain't saying he's a saint. but there does come a point where if you're gonna air out all of his dirty laundry, shit that we as fans shouldn't know about at all, that he came to you IN CONFIDENCE with, but claim you're the victim in all of this….. you've lost the plot entirely.

and you know why i can say m is better than both of them? she isn't in group chats with fans telling every little bit of info she can about colby. shea and stas can't say that.

see yall mistake me being nice towards m and k as me liking them. i don't like them. i don't CARE about them. and i also understand that i know nothing about them, which is something yall can't say. you think bc you hate watch everything they post that somehow you know everything about them when reality is you know nothing. at all.

but sure, m is exactly like shea and stas. if you honestly feel that way, i want you and your little friends to confidently say that shea and stas are also clout chaser that just used colby to get ahead in their careers and are also plastic bags bc they too have had work done. i will gladly cosign that if yall do it. but i'm not gonna hold my breath bc i know yall ain't gonna do it lmao

and i'm not stopping you from having your opinion. you guys loudly go on twitter day in and day out and complain about m and colby and call them every name under the sun. no one is stopping you. but you know, you're right. we are allowed to have different opinions. and wouldn't you believe it, this is me having a different opinion than you.

you think m is gross for having fake boobs and an onlyfans and colby is a manwhore. i think you guys are terrible, insecure fans who need to grow up and stop acting like children all the time throwing a hissyfit over their crush not liking them back and dating the popular girl instead. your insults are low and also not creative in the slightest. you spend every waking moment being miserable in a fandom you claim to enjoy being in, yet literally hate 1/2 of the content creators in it. you hate watch two girls you don't like whatsoever, essentially wasting your time so you can raise your blood pressure, just to run to twitter and get in your little gcs and bitch about the girls that wouldn't and don't give you the time of day. you're basically a fan of them bc of how much time you spend thinking about them, talking about them, theorizing about them, ect bc genuinely when do you guys even log off or think about something else? i don't even think most of you have a job, a, bc you're mostly really young (which already explains so much) and b, bc you clearly have a lot of free time on your hands. i genuinely hope you and your friends find a better avenue to put your anger to use rather than just complaining about snc and their gfs all day. you live a miserable life, and i hope that changes for you. and if not, kick rocks with open toe shoes.

okay, bye :) and genuinely don't come back lol

[truly-morgan]

[Possessive & jealouse LXC, feat. Wen brothers]

XiCheng | Mo Dao Zu Shi Modern AU 29-08-2021

[#xicheng, modern cultivation, possessive and jealous lxc]

Set where Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng have been turning around each other for a certain time now (believing they are discreet when everyone knows about it). It takes months before they finally start officially courting (of course two sect heir cannot just start dating like that without following traditions! Who do you think they are?)

things are going great, his courting goes smoothly and it is even close to an end! They can soon start an "official" relationship! But then jc is sent to one of the lectures given in qishan, where he will stay for at least three months. This makes lxc a bit sad because it will make it hard for them to meet, but jc does sound rather excited to go study over in qishan so he will support his choice to do so. ("The wens might have enormous egos and be arrogant, but they are still strong, plus they are not as bad as centuries ago," jc told him).

Plus! He will go with nhs, wwx and lwj, he knows he will be in good hands anyway. He is a bit nervous because it is the first time in months that they won't really be able to meet as often as they did (although they can still Facetime, call and text each other.) and well even if the wen are not as bad as they were in the past, jfm didn't have the best of relationship with wrh in the latest years. He simply hopes everything will go alright for his boyfriend.

The three months session starts, and everything goes well, jc let him know how everything is going and he is reassured. Then he notices nhs socmed post. He knows the young man is rather active on them (contrary to lwj and jc), so he isn't surprised to see him post about what happens (he is even happy to see jc happy with his friends.) but then he notices that wrh boys are often around in the latest updates. He is a bit surprised and curious because he knows wc can be a bit to handle sometimes.

"Wen heir showing us around Nightless City, this boy is not as bad as we first thought 😜 even my best friend agrees for once"

accompanied to the post is a picture of the group at a restaurant, nhs and wwx making peace signs to the camera, lwj drinking tea on the side while wx seems to be showing something on the menu to jc. They are rather close, even for the small booth they have, although he tries to let anything bad come from it.

"A-cheng is having a good time trying qishan specialities, it alright," he tells himself. after all, who's better to suggest good qishan dishes other than someone who grew up there?

He thought it would be a one-time thing, yet as the days go by, more and more posts made by nhs include either or both of wrh sons. and the more it goes, the closest they seem to be to jc too.

He tries not to care, not to let that possessiveness in him make him fly all the way to qishan so he can kidnap his boyfriend. "I think you need to stop stalking a-sang account" jgy suggest when he met up wth his best friends, "I doubt jc will suddenly decide to marry one of the wen".

"All I see is nhs not studying enough" nmj mentioned (although he takes note to ask his didi not to post as much maybe, it would be bad to have to deal with lxc if he loses it fully because of his post).

yet, after that dinner, nhs seems to post even more!?

"Training is nearly as strict as back home 😩😭 though chengcheng seems happy to train with wen xu"

added to this a video of jc and wx fighting "Finally the weekend, out with our new friend for good food and drinks😋🫕"

added to this is a group picture, jc sitting between wc and nhs while wc has an arm around jc.

(Also are they letting a-cheng drink?!?)

"poor wen, believing they had a chance against chengcheng in a swimming competition 🤭"

added is a video of them swimming showing jc win, joined soon after by wx and wc who mess around a bit with him in the water and it goes on and on like this, where he sees his boyfriend slowly getting closer and closer to wrh sons. Even when jc talks about his days it drives him crazy how much they seem to be around him so suddenly (obviously this is all internally, he couldn't force jc to stop hanging out with friends because of his own issue).

but the more it goes, the harder he can channel out this jealousy and possessiveness. things are going great with jc, but he wishes he could share all these more /with/ jc too. He doubts any of the wen would even try to get jc after the news of their courtship went around the cultivation world.

but the three months are coming to a close soon and lxc suggests being the one to go get lwj (lqr doesn't object as he assumed it will give him a small break from lxc acting weird all the time). So he goes to go get lwj, although the first person he goes looking for is jc. He finds him walking outside the wen residence with wx helping him carry his bags.

he doesn't hesitate when he walked quickly to him, calling out to him so jc will turn in his direction, hugging him and lifting him. he is happy that his arms quickly reciprocates the hug and to hear jc calling to him happily surprised. when he finally puts him back down he keeps an arm around his waist, keeping his boyfriend close to him (he missed that so much).

he doesn't miss the smirk on wx lips, as though the young man knows what he is doing.

lxc is quick to fully kidnap jc, helping him with his bags. he won't leave jc side for a good while for now. He catches up with jc, the man happily telling him how the last days went by (also lots of kissing, which jc is happy to give).

they do eventually join wwx and lwj, ready to take jc back home with him even after wwx protest (thankfully jc agrees to it so the head disciple cannot say anything 😌).

jc somewhat already know why lxc seems so needy suddenly and he will happily indulge in erasing all his jealousy and possessiveness by letting lxc do everything with him too as he stays a bit in cloud recess.

also, a 100% nhs was trying to tease lxc to see if the man would run back to his beloved after seeing all this (he is impressed by lxc self-control).

also, a 100% wx was in it and was a bit more touchy on camera than he would be normally, just to annoy the lan heir

I don't why, I just like the idea of the wen boys not being /that/ bad and friendly once you get past all the arrogance and ego they might have.

Original

[themetaphorgirl]

Okay a Hotch whump drabble idea just bc the latest one has inspired me, I don’t know if Sean would visit again after that whole adoption fiasco but maybe there’s a phone-call or something (a situation where Sean basically rejects Aaron completely) and he’s in his room and Alex checks on him and he gets to the point where he says ‘why does nobody want me’, unbeknownst to them Spencer’s been eavesdropping and he crashes into the room like ‘I WANT YOU!’ And then Alex and Spencer comforting Aaron (maybe when Aaron is asleep Spencer can say something like ‘nobody wanted me either until I came here and you guys found me, but we found Aaron too! Why doesn’t he know it yet?’)

oof my whole heart

this actually ties really well into the 18k word backstory oneshot I wrote with Aaron (but haven’t posted yet) and the Spencer backstory oneshot I’m currently working on.

(and it ties perfectly into the last chapter of Patron Saint. which should be getting updated on Thursday!)

———

“Alex, you’ve got to talk to him.”

She blinked in confusion. “Who am I talking to?” she asked as she opened the cover of anther return.

Derek glanced around, making sure no one was listening. “Hotch,” he said in a low voice. “He’s been in a shitty mood all day and it’s only getting worse.”

Alex frowned. “I haven’t seen talked to him since lunch,” she said. She glanced around Derek from her vantage point at the circulation desk; she could see Hotch sitting on the couch with the rest of the group, his textbooks still closed as he tapped at his phone. “Do you think he’s sick again?”

“I don’t think so,” Derek said. “Not this time.” He shoved his hands in his back pockets. “I think he’s sad about something, but it’s coming out angry.”

Alex bit her lip. “I’ll talk to him,” she promised. “Spencer’s doing okay though, right?”

“Yeah, he’s fine, little man is playing with Penny’s Nintendo,” Derek said.

“And doing badly?”

“Oh, it’s horrible. I didn’t know it was possible to fuck up Animal Crossing that bad.”

Alex laughed. “Let me make some headway on these returns and then I’ll come check on him,” she said. “Let me know if anything changes.”

Derek nodded and headed back to the group. Alex picked up another book. The sophomores had just finished their research papers for history class, which meant they all returned their sources at the same time.

A notification lit up on her phone; she paused to pick it up and check it. She didn’t use social media that often but the other kids sure did, and Emily had tagged her in half a dozen memes on Facebook.

Absently she scrolled through her feed, and then froze.

Aaron Hotchner was tagged in a comment.

It didn’t make sense, Hotch used social media less than any of them. But she stared at the photo and the caption and the comments with growing horror.

We welcomed our sweet boy into our home three years ago, but today it’s official! This morning the judge signed the papers and Sean is officially a Eubanks. While the circumstances surrounding his adoption are tragic, and we will always miss my sister Elizabeth, I know that adopting her baby boy as our own is exactly what she would have wanted. Mommy and Daddy love you so much, Seanie!

Hotch’s younger brother grinned in the photograph with their aunt and uncle on either side of him, posed in front of the judge. At least a hundred people had liked the picture, and dozens of comments congratulated the new family. Someone had commented “too bad Aaron couldn’t be there!” with his name highlighted in the tag, but his aunt hadn’t replied.

Alex dropped her phone in her pocket and left the desk, abandoning the books. “You,” she said, startling Hotch enough that his phone slipped from his hand.

“Why?” he asked, glaring up at her.

“Because I said so. Come here.”

He rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the couch. Alex took him by the sleeve, dragged him into her office, and closed the door. “Are you okay?” she demanded.

“Why would I not be okay?” he asked.

“Because you-“

“I’m not sick,” he said flatly. “I just didn’t sleep well last night.”

“But I saw-“

“I’m really not in the mood for you to fucking mother me to death, so if you don’t mind, I have homework to do,” he snapped as he turned towards the door.

“Aaron!” she said. “I saw.“

He froze, his back to her.

She took a deep breath and lowered her voice. “I saw,” she said again. “I saw the photo, and the caption, and everybody saying congratulations.”

He didn’t move.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

He was quiet for so long that she worried he hasn’t heard her.

“They didn’t even let me there,” he said in a small voice. “I knew they were going to…but I thought…I thought they’d at least invite me.”

Alex stepped behind him in and slipped her fingers around his wrist. “I know,” she said softly.

“They changed his name,” he said. “Not that…not that I even wanted this name, but we don’t even have the same last name anymore.” Alex stroked the soft skin of his inner wrist. “He already called them mom and dad but…this is different. This is permanent.”

She could feel his pulse picking up, and when she tugged him to turn around he didn’t fight her. “I’m so sorry,” she said.

Aaron rubbed his eyes with the heel of his palm. “God, I don’t know why I’m so upset,” he said, a wet laugh breaking from his throat. “It makes sense. He doesn’t remember Mama, what he remembers of Dad is that he’s a piece of shit. They might as well adopt him.”

His eyes were red-rimmed and welling up. Alex squeezed his hand. “You’re allowed to be upset,” she said.

“It’s stupid.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Why didn’t they take me too?” he burst out. He dragged his hand over his face. “God, it’s so fucking stupid. I don’t even like them, I don’t want to be adopted, I’d fucking kill to have my mom back, but…why didn’t they take me too?”

Alex didn’t know how to answer. She held his hand in both of hers, smoothing her fingertips over his knuckles.

“And now Sean’s got a new family, and he needs me even less than he did before,” Aaron said bitterly. “God, why doesn’t…why doesn’t anyone ever want me?”

“I want you.”

Spencer peeked around the door, hazel eyes huge in his pale little face. Aaron’s shoulders hitched. “Yeah?” he said, his voice thick.

“Yeah,” Spencer said, still half hidden in the doorway as if he was afraid he’d said the wrong thing, and Aaron choked on a sob and held out his arms. Spencer closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around his neck, and Aaron scooped him up in the tightest hug possible.

Alex kept one hand on Aaron’s back and the other on Spencer’s arm, trying to make sure that both of them were okay. She let Aaron cry quietly for a while, until she could feel his shaking start to subside.

At long last Aaron set Spencer carefully down on his feet. “Sorry,” he said, his eyes downcast and his face red and puffy from crying.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” she said. She squeezed his arm. “Do you feel a little better?”

He nodded, wiping at his eyes. “I’m…I’m going to go wash my face,” he said. “You’re not going to tell the others about-“

“Not a word to anyone about anything,” she promised. She pulled him into a gentle hug and kissed his cheek. “But come talk to me when you need me, okay, Bubba?”

He sort of smiled at her. “Okay,” he said, and he slipped out of the room.

Spencer wrapped his arms around Alex’s waist and leaned against her. “Is be okay?” he asked quietly.

She brushed his curls back and kissed the top of his head. “He will be, baby, he just needs a little time,” she said.

“I don’t get it,” Spencer said, snuggling his cheek against her hip.

“Don’t get what, baby?”

“Nobody wanted me either until I got here,” he said. “But I figured out that you guys wanted me. Why hasn’t Hotch figured it out yet?”

Alex sighed heavily. “I think you were still hoping you could find a family,” she said. “But I think Hotch gave up a long time ago, and he still needs more convincing that he has us.”

[tielesiti-eftu]

hey so remember when I posted a while back about stealing a character design from AI slop

this is Celia Whiterose and the art was somehow one of the last things I made in the process of making her. in between making the art, I wrote a fuckload of lore and character info. gonna paste a bunch of it under the cut

✨~haiiiiiii~✨

okay so. the lore I'm working with right now is that Celia used to be the Proper Actual Queen of Hearts in her Wonderland. aesthetics-wise for that Wonderland, I'm picturing a vibe like a mix of the Disney movie and the Tim Burton movie because Lol™. this Wonderland exists alongside a so-called "real" world, otherwise known as Fantasy Earth, and humans aren't able to see an entrance to Wonderland unless someone from Wonderland goes through it. the only Wonderland citizens that are able to go between the worlds freely are the royal family and anyone with one of their pocket watches. Celia, being The Queen, qualifies for that. she ran away into the real world after a mass breakout of a curse-disease-thing called "Unreality Madness," believing it would be the only way to be safe from it and potentially find a solution. she disguised herself (mostly by shrinking herself down to not be ridiculously tall) and left for the real world, where she lived for a long time. she tried to tell people about what happened, hoping for a solution, but people don't tend to believe that a parallel world exists that they can theoretically go to when they can't even see the entrances freely, and Celia was afraid to go back for fear of being (probably rightfully) called out for running away, so she just Didn't. she has depression because of it. her belief is that if she can get close enough with someone in the real world, maybe they'll believe her and she can try to fix the mess she left behind. unfortunately, a continuous streak of bad luck and cosmic joke coincidences routinely keeps that from happening.

some specifics on Unreality Madness: it's something that makes Wonderland citizens effectively disappear, dubbed "becoming not real," after going through extreme mood changes. stage 1 is always severe mania, and stage 2 varies between individual cases, but it's always able to be boiled down to experiencing one emotion at extreme levels, and different subsets have different titles (sadness would be Bawling Madness, depression would be Muted Madness, anger would be Fuming Madness, etc). the only thing that isn't a possible result is more mania. stage 3 is more or less a toned-down version of the person's normal self, but this is the point where they start to believe they may not be real, and this feeling gets worse as the stage progresses. if someone in stage 3 is fully convinced they aren't real anymore, they go into stage 4, which sees them actually becoming not real; this can be postponed by generally being around other people that believe they're real, but the funny thing about believing you aren't real is that you start believing others aren't real either, so if a large group of Wonderland residents came down with stage 4 Unreality Madness, then things tend to get a bit less exist-y pretty fast. once a person with Unreality Madness has been in stage 4 for long enough to also believe nobody else is real around them, and nobody around them believes they're real either, they vanish. technically, stages 3 and 4 can last indefinitely if at least one person without Unreality Madness regularly interacts with them.

personality-wise, Celia is very muted after everything that's happened to her. she's also very particular about time; if you agree to meet her for something, and you don't show up, she's going to find out why. she has a seemingly endless supply of pocket watches, which she uses as mementos to give to people that she considers friends. the watches themselves have some other properties; particularly, if you break one, you can temporarily project yourself back in time as a ghost, so you can see what happened but not affect things. Celia specifically is also able to break these with her bare hand, then jam that hand against a corpse to resurrect the person as something from Wonderland. she also has various props and treats from Wonderland; cookies that make you grow, small drink bottles that shrink you, paints that can alter the natural color of plants or animals, pipes with smoke that forms into letters, and so on. Celia can also create normal versions of any of these items without any effects, with a notable exception being her checkerboard cookies; unlike the frosted lofthouse cookies she can make, the checkerboard cookies are always just normal cookies.

the bracelets she wears are made of metal, and are able to transform into gauntlets similar to brass knuckles. Celia doesn't normally have to use them, hence why they turn into bracelets when they aren't deployed. these bracelet-gauntlets cannot be removed, as they are also her royal scepter, an heirloom passed down to the next-in-line when the acting ruler of Wonderland is unfit to rule anymore. it ordinarily isn't supposed to be altered in any way, but due to the current circumstances in Wonderland, Celia is giving herself some leeway. so long as it doesn't leave her side, it's fine in her book.

around people she feels safe around and truly cares about, Celia may remove her disguise and re-enter her normal form, a completely on-demand transformation that Celia performs when she feels like she has nothing to hide from. Queen of Hearts Celia is four times larger than her disguise and sports a different outfit, as well as her having a generally more cheerful default mood. her fur becomes pure white, her eyes change shape somewhat, the colors of her eyes shift around, the somewhat muted blues of her dress have shifted to vibrant reds and blacks, her dress has grown larger and now goes down to her ankles, her socks have changed to be red-and-black stripes with a black sole and red pawpads, her scepter regains its normal form, and the lofthouse cookies she produces have changed shape to appear like card suits (the checkerboard cookies remain unchanged). she now walks with a much more pronounced bounce on every step, and one can often see the latest winner of this royal rabbit's trust peeking from the front pocket of her dress. Queen of Hearts Celia has more control over the world around her, with enhanced time control by using her scepter that allows her to physically go forward and backwards in time temporarily, along with now being able to shape and transform it to mirror her Wonderland as she desires. this world-altering ability, which she calls "Wonderland Shift," is similar in execution to resurrecting someone as a Wonderland creature, but it now extends to non-sentient objects around her and even living people as opposed to only the recently-passed. Queen of Hearts Celia is also physically unable to harm things or people without intent; any building or infrastructure damaged by mistake is repaired by it automatically going backwards in time, passerby who fail to notice her approach and become trampled rise moments later without even a bruise, and so on. on the flipside, she is much more wrathful if upset, leaping into the air and growing thorny rose vines from the ground to ensnare and choke people that make her angry, sometimes even beheading them if she deems the transgression worthy of death. often, she reverts to her disguised form after the anger fades into apathy, and it tends to take some time for her to be able to return to her Queen of Hearts form.

[karofsky]

Yesterday I found out a friend of mine passed, which was very sudden. He was battling cancer late last year, and was on the mend, and I guess something just happened so fast, and then he was gone.

I'm okay; regrettably, if you've known me since I've been around for a bit, I'm no stranger to losing friends, and especially regarding cancer. It's a shitty fucking thing that tends to plague those I care about, and I hope to at least live on to see at least some regression of diseases in the world. It's all I can hope for.

It's just... a weird feeling now. He and I were not as close these last few years, due to my moving and just some general friend group shuffling and collapsing. I regret not talking to him more, but I kept up on him and his wife (another friend), and in this day and age, that's pretty good for me.

But he was also the first friend I made as an adult. Not from school, not a friend of a friend, not a coworker, not someone I knew from online. I met him at a con, alone. I was lost looking for a friend, and he was dressed to the fandom I was in at the time (DA). I loved his cosplay, so I stopped him for a picture, and we talked for a few minutes before I mentioned my friend was also cosplaying DA, and they weren't answering my texts. He ended up already knowing them, and, being lost at my first con, I asked him if he could text me if he ran into them, and quickly shoved my contact into his phone. As far as I know, I was still "[Robin], Lost" in it, because that's what I entered, and he always told me he never changed it.

He was an older brother to me, after that. Genuinely one of the kindest people I'd ever met, and he introduced me to a lot of people I later called friends. He had no issue taking detours to pick me up at my house or from the train station, and in fact, was the first to offer every time. I went to the con with him where he met his wife. A few months later, he brought her to a cosplay gathering for the first time, and as he was driving me home after an event he thanked me for making her feel welcome. We had a long chat about his life and his relationships, and how much he really cared for his then-girlfriend. They were inseparable after that. I think I can count one time when I hung out with either of them alone post that car ride. Really just a wonderful pair, and I couldn't imagine it being any other way.

He was always the first person to hug me goodbye when our friend group all hung out. I wish I could remember what he said to me one time that got me teary-eyed, but I'm sure he'd just make fun of me for having a shitty memory, and then realize he couldn't remember it either, and I'd roast him right back.

Death is weird. I'm not... sad about it anymore. Not with all of the death that's touched my life. It's all a bit melancholy now, and in the end, I really just think about how fortunate I am to have years or months or days or hours or minutes behind me. I wish I had more with him, and I wish things had been different, but ultimately I'm happy I had him in my life, and that I can keep carrying him on. He'd hate it if we were all just a mess anyway, so I guess I'll hold down that fort on his behalf, lol.

Here's my favourite pictures of him I've taken, where for whatever reason, both of us were just being toddlers in the middle of an Islands. I don't remember the context outside of that.

Rest easy. Don't haunt me.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I listened to some stuff yesterday, it made me remember some things, I got distracted by thinking about that while working, I wrote it down in the hopes that that would help. It’s going to be another long and rambly one that’s really just for me and is worth skipping.

Yesterday, I felt brought me back to a day in 2021 when a few friends and I were helping another friend move out of his apartment. He’d bought a condo – the first person I know to actually buy property – that, he insisted, was not way out in the suburbs. But it’s the suburbs compared to where we live, right downtown. It’s two buses or a 50-minute bike ride away. He was moving there with his girlfriend.

I expecting helping him move to be difficult, but once I started, I found it even tougher than I’d expected. I’ve helped so many friends move over the years, and before that time, it was always at least kind of fun. I mean it sucks, but we do it together, we play music and talk shit and take things apart, then at the end we all sit on the floor in the new place that’s full of nothing but boxes, and drink beer and eat takeout. Then for years after, whenever we go to that place, we have stories about that time we spent and hour and a half getting this couch through that doorway when they first moved in.

It’s possible that because I haven’t done this in a long time (aside from that one day in 2021), I may be romanticizing it a bit. When you’re actually doing it, the process of moving is grueling and fucking annoying. But when you look back, what you remember is the feeling of satisfaction at the end, and the beer and pizza in a room full of new possibilities.

The one last year was very different. It was the first time I’ve ever helped with a move and not enjoyed it even a bit. I kept volunteering to do the smaller, one-person jobs, because I didn’t want my friends to see how sad the whole process made me. Every time I walked through the apartment, I thought about all the times I’d walked through there before, and all the things we wouldn’t do again.

I didn’t even see his new place that day. I did a lot of work with helping them put everything in the U-Haul (you know you’re growing up when helping your friends move means putting everything they own into one U-Haul, rather than doing what was meant to be four but turned into twelve trips back and forth in a friend’s truck), but by the end I could hardly keep it together. My friends told me that loading the U-Haul was the hard part, they had more than enough people to unload it without me, I may as well not come so far out of my way when I was so close to home already. I took them up on that, and didn’t follow them to the new neighbourhood. I walked the ten minutes home and drank beer and ordered pizza alone in my bedroom, because that’s what life had become by May 2021.

So I didn’t see his new place the day he moved into it. I saw a couple of pictures on the group chat, but honestly I skimmed by them because looking at them made me sad. I never saw the place in person until just a few months ago now, when my best friend and I joined another friend and his girlfriend at the first friend’s house for a dinner party.

Okay, to make things simpler I think I need to give a name to the friend who moved, and in the tradition I’ve used a few times on this blog of telling personal stories but changing the names to those of British comedians, I’m calling him Richard Ayoade. Because I’ve actually compared those two people in a previous post about people who have voices like Sheldon Cooper, and I stand by that comparison.

In August, my best friend and I drove out to the condo of Richard Ayoade and his girlfriend, where we were met by another friend of our and his girlfriend, and we ate ramen that the hosts had cooked. It was very good. They’d spent all day making it, and told us all about the process. We also discussed the efforts of several people in the room to get promoted at work, and the efforts a friend of my friend’s was making to upgrade a car, and the upcoming municipal elections. I’m being a bit disingenuous to include the latter on a list of boring conversation topics, as I do like talking politics, but this particular discussion felt so awkwardly restrained that I didn’t participate much.

I mean, I did participate a bit. At one point the conversation turned to federal politics, and our local MP who’d been bullied out of her job by misogynistic harassment. Ayoade’s girlfriend mentioned a few incidents that had cumulated in the word “cunt” being sprayed on the MP’s campaign office’s window. I said yes, I heard an interview in which she said the “cunt” on the window thing was the last straw after all the actual death threats, because that one was so public.

There was silence for a second, and then I realized that when Ayoade’s girlfriend had told the story, she’d said the window was sprayed with the word “C-U-N-T”. She had spelled it out for the sake of polite company, and I had actually said the word, not realizing the discrepancy until after. I immediately got very socially awkward and apologized, and Ayoade’s girlfriend was very nice, saying she’d only spelled the word out in case anyone else might be offended, but she had no problem hearing it, and it was fine. I think she meant it, but I still shut my mouth for the rest of the conversation.

We all had one beer, and then stopped because people were driving. I don’t mean to make it sound like that makes an evening boring either – I’ve had many great nights when no one was drinking, and many great nights when most people were drinking but friends who don’t drink at all or chose not to drink that night were around, and those friends were still great fun, and if anyone even made a joke about those people being less fun due to not drinking, I’d tell them to fuck off. So I don’t mean a night with insufficient alcohol can’t be fun. But in this case, the reason we didn’t have more was because my friend lived too far away for us to walk home, and we were all being responsible adults, and I didn’t know the girlfriends of Richard Ayoade or my other friend well enough to feel comfortable getting drunk around them anyway, and that depressed me.

I mean, it was fine. It was good, actually. I hadn’t seen those friends in a long time, and it was genuinely nice to spend time with them again. I’d missed them. But also, I just sat there politely eating dinner and not saying “cunt” with them, and felt like we were all pretending. This wasn’t what we did.

It’s only in the last couple of months that I’ve started going back to practices for the sport I coach, and I see Richard Ayoade at most of them. We normally don’t talk beyond a quick hello, which is fair because there’s stuff going on, though there is some room for socializing during practice. We used to make jokes to each other during the practices about what people were doing, but we don’t do that anymore. Not because we’re trying to be more responsible, but just because the shared understanding on which we built those jokes has dissipated. Before COVID hit, all the coaches used to go to a pub after two of the practices per week, and that’s where we did most of our socializing and building foundations for the in-practice jokes. But we don’t do that anymore.

The other day, I saw him at practice and he asked me how I’m doing. He asked if I’ve finished that college program, and I said yes, a month ago. Now I’m back to my at-home job and looking for something better. I asked him how he’s doing, and he said he got promoted at work two months ago and is focused on impressing new bosses. He mentioned in the group chat a while ago that he was shopping for an engagement ring for his girlfriend, but I haven’t heard whether there are updates on that.

So we were just standing there, giving each other the headlines of our weeks-old news, and I felt like we were having this incredibly surface-level conversation and pretending the last seven or eight years didn’t happen. I wanted to tell him, “We don’t do this! You and I don’t stand around on mats talking like this. That’s not our relationship!”

We once drove to Michigan together and slept on floors just to yell at children for a weekend (with their consent, I should add; in our sport you have to yell pretty loudly from the corner or the athletes won’t hear you, also most of the people we coached were actually teenagers and not children, if that helps). We’ve actually shared sleeping floor space in many different areas: my friend’s gym, and several friends’ apartments, and hotel rooms with too many people to fit on beds to save money. Richard Ayoade and I have probably yelled at children and teenagers together in at least fifteen different municipalities over the years, going to most of those a bunch of times. We’ve yelled at refs in at least six of them.

I have pushed him into snowbanks and been pushed into snowbanks. I have participated alongside him in four separate drinking games tournaments, with him in charge of doing the math involved in setting up and tracking draw sheets. I have seen him strip off all his clothes and show off how many chin-ups he could do for the promise of two dollars, and at that moment he was sober. I have seen him run four kilometres and drink four beers in fifteen minutes because that seemed like a fun challenge at the time, and I’m pretty sure clothes came off in the process of that as well. He and I have sat on the curb with our other friends at 3 AM, eating shawarmas after drinking too much, so many times.

I let him talk it out for ages as he realized things were falling apart with his previous girlfriend. I always avoided pointing out the obvious, that the relationship was terrible and needed to end, mainly because I always think people should break up with their boyfriends or girlfriends, so I’m biased. It’s hard for me to tell when a relationship is genuinely bad, and when I just think it is because I always think that. But one day, when it was just him and I left at the pub after everyone else had gone home, he said, “I mean, I know she loves me, and I care about her very much.”

Before I could stop myself I pointed out, “You did not use the same word both times there.” He was drunk and didn’t know what I meant, asked me to repeat what he’d said, and I said don’t worry about it, I was just being pedantic, there is no need to read into what was actually just a slip of the tongue. But he told me again to repeat it, and I did, and he said I was right.

When he ended it two weeks later, he went straight from there to a tournament (a sports one, not a beer one), and we went straight from there to a pub with the coaches, and he told me that day was everything he needed to remember that life was so much bigger than that one relationship. But he also struggled with it, and I came over many times over the next few weeks, when he told me he needed a distraction.

When he started dating again, I got all the stories. The first time he had sex, the woman left straight after, and he called me to say he felt weird because after years in a relationship, he wasn’t used to being alone right after that. So I told him to come over and we watched Letterkenny until he fell asleep on my couch.

And the emotional support in difficult times very much did not go only one way. When I first moved into where I live now, it was because I’d been living with my best friend, but he and I had been fighting about stupid things because I can’t share physical space with anyone without freaking out about it. So we decided to split up, and I moved into this house, with a guy on the team I’d sort of known for fifteen years and was civil with but never really liked, since he needed a roommate and had cheap rent in a good central location, and I don’t have to worry about ruining a friendship since he and I never had one. That was four years ago and I haven’t ruined anything – I spend all my time in my bedroom, my roommate and I say about four words to each other per week, it works fine.

I was really depressed at the time, because I was sad about not living with my friend anymore, and feeling like I was impossible to live with. The one upside was that my new place was only a ten-minute walk away from Richard Ayoade’s apartment. I started going over there all the time. We watched Letterkenny and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and videos of matches from our sport. I listened while he practiced the keyboard. We went on spontaneous walks around downtown in the middle of the night, and he pointed out how moving to the more central location has its upsides, because we could do things like that without even planning it. He experimented with frequently terrible combinations of liquor and soft drinks, and shared the results with me. I walked home from his house at 1 AM so many times, or if we were up later than that I’d just crash on his couch and walk home in the morning.

When my multi-year effort to get a board spot on the organization that oversees our sport and use it to combat just some of the ingrained sexism and general predator protecting that goes on there went up in flames, he let me quite literally cry on his shoulder. I couldn’t bring myself to read the replies to my resignation email, in which I’d taken a chance by writing things I couldn’t write while maintaining my position on the board, risking a bit of my reputation just to try to start a semi-public conversation about the stuff we only talk about in whispers. I only managed to read them while sitting with Ayoade on his couch, getting through the HR-style replies with the same stock lines they’d been using for years, final confirmation that it had all come to nothing and no discussion would be sparked. Then there were more tears, and we drank several brands of whiskey with a number of different soft drinks that night.

When COVID hit, there were a lot of Zoom calls at first. The first time I left my house for non-grocery-shopping-related reasons, it was to sit on Richard Ayoade’s balcony with him, look at the city, and talk about how we couldn’t wait to have our lives back, just like they were before, when this is all over. I told him I’ve been watching a lot of British comedy lately, to pass the time until this is all over and I can go back to my life.

The Zoom chats and the balcony beers got fewer and father between as time went on. I started socially isolating myself as well as physically isolating, and he got closer with his girlfriend, whom he’d met just a few months before the pandemic. Every day ran together when nothing was ever happening, and we lost track of time.

We still met up when we needed it, at least at first. He texted me one day to say he felt like he was falling apart, and we went for a distanced walk to talk about problems with his family. I texted him one day to say I haven’t spoken out loud in three weeks and think I might be feeling suicidal for the first time in years, and he came over and saw me cry again.

When our friend died, it was the height of the delta lockdown, so we couldn’t all gather as a group. But Richard Ayoade and I went over to my best friend’s place, and the three of us had our own little mourning – too small, as the group we’d shared had more people than that, but it was something. We poured out half a bottle of whiskey in our friend’s honour and then drank the rest of it and one more, and watched his old tournament videos and the highlight reel I’d made him as a Christmas gift once, and got our other friends on the phone.

That’s what we used to do together. And that’s just the summary, just a few of the most intense points where our lives have converged, it leaves out so much. It leaves out a lot of the happy times, like when he first got that job that recently promoted him, and he texted me immediately, instead of mentioning it in passing two months later. We all celebrated with him that weekend.

Now we stand there sharing two-sentence summaries of our news, and I knew it would happen. I knew it as I helped him move out of his apartment, a ten-minute walk away, to a place that basically counts as the suburbs. I knew as I moved his keyboard and his couch and the chairs on his balcony, and a box with the glasses and jars he used for mixing whiskey. I couldn’t do it without feeling sad, because I knew it represented all that finally being over for good.

My girlfriend and I broke up last week, and it was really really hard – still is, I’m throwing myself into other stuff and using this blog as a distraction, but it’s been hard – and I didn’t have any friends who felt close enough for me to reach out to them about it. And that, I think it’s fair to say, is not because I had a girlfriend for fourteen months. I hate it when romantic relationships take precedence over platonic ones, or over other things people are passionate about, so I never let mine do that. To be honest, that would be one of the reasons it ended. But the point is that any isolating from my friends that was my fault was not because I was too focused on my girlfriend; it was due to my own mental health issues and tendency to isolate myself as a response to those issues (…another reason the relationship ended). Girlfriend-based pulling away from friends was done by Richard Ayoade, and by a few of my other friends who’ve acquired romantic partners, but not by me. But whatever the reason, I’ve still found myself in a situation of going through something tough and not having someone who will watch Letterkenny on a couch with me about it.

Anyway, yesterday I started listening to a Daniel Kitson show about moving out of his old apartment where he’d shared things with friends who have since moved away and grown up, and about ten minutes in I needed to turn that the hell off and listen to him yell at Tim Key instead. Because the number of times Daniel Kitson has made cry so far is holding steady at three – though I argue that it should be 2.5 at the most because one of those times was actually about my friend who died and all Kitson did was remind me of that, and anyway Isy Suttie was the one who said the actual words that got me so she deserves the credit if anyone does – and I am determined to not let that number go higher. After resisting for some time, I resigned months ago to being the sort of nerd who’s really, annoyingly into Daniel Kitson. But I will not be one who lets him make me cry four times.

So I turned that off, listened to a bit of him doing something else, and then put on music to try to get some work done. I put my entire music collection on shuffle, and of the 11,274 songs, the first one to come on was Sweet Bedford by Gavin Osborn. I don’t think it’s a complete coincidence; I think the supposedly random iTunes shuffle function has a bias toward songs that were recently added or recently played, which that one was. But still, it was strange to have just turned off a show about friendships growing apart, and then immediately have on a song about the same subject. And not just the same subject, but the same person! They both wrote things about growing away from the same person. I looked at my laptop and said, “Fuck off, Gavin,” out loud before skipping the song.

I think the lesson here is that John Oliver needs to stop moving away from places. Or maybe he needs to do it more, because apparently that causes the people he left behind to create great art about it. Maybe he should move every few years to jumpstart the amount of bittersweet nostalgic odes to friendship in the world. Now that I think about it, I did actually listen to some other stuff over the weekend that unexpectedly had some John Oliver moving away-based sad stories, though that was quite a different circumstance. Still though, that’s three on one subject.

I swear I have not intentionally curated my media to mainly consist of stories about John Oliver moving away, aside from the fact that I’ve dived into a fairly specific genre: anything ever made by any comedian who is now in their forties, did a show at Edinburgh at some point between 2000 and 2009, and may have had a chocolate milkshake at some point during those festivals. Turns out there are some running themes within that niche. And I mean, I guess in some ways I have intentionally sought out those stories; I did have a very long and detailed post going recently that collated scraps of John Oliver’s connections to British comedy. But on this specific week, I was not specifically searching to encounter quite so many stories on the specific subject of how people feel after John Oliver moves away from them.

I don’t know if all the art is worth it; he needs to just stay where he fucking is. He’s like Helen of Troy, he broke some hearts and launched a thousand art projects (okay, three, though I think you could count some of Andy Zaltzman’s laments after he left The Bugle as at least one more). If he does it again someone might get killed; I’ve read Greek mythology and no matter how beautiful the art is, these things never end well.

[rubyflowerpetals]

wednesday 14/02/24

Today was Valentines day and it was so amazing. I am sitting here so full of love!!

I wore such a nice outfit today which was so pink and a little silly, but i felt so nice in it. It was so lovely seeing everyone else dressed in pinks and reds too. That's one of my favourite things about Valentines day.

This entry is a new sort of entry, usually I am sad and have too many thoughts. This time I am just so full of love for my friends!!!!

Me and Ida were together for a majority of the day and we just had a really nice chill time eating lunch and then just sitting and waiting for television to be over. I love being with people one on one, i love having chill and comfortable moments with my friends.

While with Ida, we came up with an idea that I would take over the KNUS instagram account and post some cute valentines day pictures!! I posted a card, myself, Trine and their group and then also Sofieke and Jorik sent a picture all on their own!! I think it was such a cute idea, i am so glad they allowed me to do it hihi. the last post of the day was of the four of us spelling out LOVE.

Then after that I had a similar moment with Chloé, we sat together a bit, looked at a weird guy's letterboxd and just had a nice time.

Then a meeting was over and we went to my place to have dinner and make cookies!! it was so lovely, we made so many cookies, they are really good, but it was so tiring. i have been made buff by the mixing of the dough. i was more physically affectionate today which was just such a nice feeling. it felt really good to allow myself to be comfortable enough to do that. it's so good. at some in the night we started calling each other husband. it was so silly, but also it made me feel so loved!! it's a silly and unserious nickname, but something about that is so absolutely lovely to me. i asked if we could keep it going and Virginia and Chloé said that we can hihi, so if it comes up, i might. today was the first day where i really experienced how nice it feels to be affectionate with my friends and i hope i get to repeat this.

valentines day continues to be my favourite holiday (this apparently started all the way back in 2020, so this is my fifth year of being weirdly obsessed with this holiday). i am definitely not complaining.

this year i almost forgot about it and didn't really do anything, but i am so happy i suggested the cookies so i got to spend the best valentines day of my love with the people i love the most <3

feeling so loved and loving right now <3

ttyl, xoxo

[etheriaaly]

Hello, do you still do requests? If so, could I get a cc!SBI x GN!Reader (platonic ofc) at TwitchCon? If requests aren't open feel free to ignore btw

Thank you, and remember to drink water and eat something!

SURPRISE, SURPRISE [CC! SBI x GN! Reader]

a/n: hiii!! sorry for the long wait and delay, I forgot to post this a month ago😭😅. school is just making me busy but requests are open <3  also im pretty sure theres a similar fanfic plot w this but imma hope mine has a bit of twist and difference to it 😭. Another thing, I have no idea how TwitchCon works or what it looks like from the inside so please bare with the lack of TwitchCon knowledge in this fanfic. Anyways,  i hope u enjoy this short one :))

P.S. Sorry if u live in the USA or near it, the location where the reader lives is for plot purposes :))

READER PRONOUNS: They/them (Gender neutral)

ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

—

TwitchCon is coming in a few days and [Y/N] is beyond excited. Not only it was their first-ever TwitchCon, but they also get to finally meet Tommy, Wilbur, Phil, and Techno.

However, those 4 don't know [Y/N] will be joining TwitchCon in San Diego since [Y/N] literally lives on the other side of the world and the SBI thinks their parents didn't allow them to travel just for TwitchCon.

But [Y/N]'s parents literally said yes once they told them about TwitchCon💀

Even though telling the SBI beforehand would be a great start to plan the things they would do and have fun but then again, where's the thrill and excitement into seeing their shocked faces once they see [Y/N].

They are currently anxious at the moment, tapping their feet on and on. What if one of them sees [Y/N] on the airport or on the way to the TwitchCon?? That will definitely ruin the surprise.

[Y/N] hopes that the Marvel disguise, which consist of the cap and a sunglasses, will work.

As soon as they finally landed at the San Diego Internationally Airport, they received a text message from the group chat.

—

big man child: LETS FUCKING GOO WHERE AR YOU GUYS??

orphan obliterator: at the hotel rn

wilby: tommy, im literally beside you

cawcaw man: ^

big man child: WISH U WERE HERE [N/N]!!

[n/n]: LMAO SCREAMING IN CAPS

[n/n]: also dw abt it theres always next time ig ��

orphan obliterator: want me to convince the government to let you fly here for free???

[n/n]: thanks for the thought, Techno but im prettyyyy sure ur way of convincing isn't in a peaceful way🤪

cawcaw man: PHAHAHAHHAHAHHA

big man child: really sucks uR NOT HERE

wilby: I'm pretty sure [Y/N] is a lucky gal or else they will have to endure your presence Tommy

big man child: WHAT THE FUCK WILBUR

cawcaw man: tTOMMY STOP HITTING WILBUR!!

orphan obliterator: GO GO ! GHOSTBUR IN REAL LIFE LETS GO

wilby: I'm calling my lawyer on you guys

—

[Y/N] quietly laughed and placed their phone back in their bag. They better hurry back to the hotel and get ready to surprise the four of them.

A few hours later, they have finally gotten ready for TwitchCon in which will start in like an hour and the excitement is increasing.

[Y/N] have gotten over the plan once again: use the MCU disguise, pull a You Joe Goldberg, snap a picture of the SBI together from afar and watch the four of them freak out. [Y/N] chuckled evilly and looked for a ride to the TwitchCon.

On the way to the TwitchCon, they decided to open up Twitter to see if any other CCs or fans posted a tweet or a picture about TwitchCon already. So far, many people have tagged [Y/N] saying they’re sad that [Y/N] isn’t able to come. 

At last, they have set foot to the entryway of TwitchCon, they can feel their anticipation and eagerness increasing. Luckily, it’s a bit crowded so if the four are already there, they will have a hard time accidentally spotting [Y/N]. 

Right before entering the building, they sent a small message of, “Have fun guys ;)” to the group chat and turned off their phone. 

Although being in a crowd will have higher chance of getting not recognized, they still feel somewhat uneasy in such a big crowd. Just the amount of people being in the same room as them makes [Y/N] anxious. But they made sure they’d try to overcome the fear of crowds for now because this prank plan only happens once in a lifetime. 

‘Ohno, I didn’t get to ask where they are,’ [Y/N] thought as they observe the crowd. ‘But, that will make me suspicious.’ 

Now getting lost in the convention, they immediately tried to find a way to know where they are until a group of girls near [Y/N] age slowly passed by, seemingly talking about Tommy, Wilbur, Techno and Phil. 

“Ohhh, I can’t wait to see them in real life,” said one girl. 

“They’re just in their booths far away right?” 

“Yep! Do you guys want to solo picture with each of them or a group picture?” The other girl in a Dream merch asked. 

The conversation of the group of girls gradually died down as they are now away from where [Y/N] is just standing from. ‘Jackpot! I’ll just follow them and I hope they can lead me to where those boys are’ 

[Y/N] hurriedly tried to run after the group of girls because they almost lost track of where they are heading due to the dozens of people walking past and across.

Although they did lost track of the group of girls, they tiredly sighed. But, it was immediately turned into a lopsided grin once they heard a familiar loud-ass person they know.

"Didn't know this place is full of Americans!"

"Tommy, we're literally in America. What do you expect?"

[Y/N] tried to contain themselves from jumping into them out of nowhere because they can feel themselves being giddy and excited.

This is it. The moment they've been waiting and planning for.

[Y/N] took out their phone and immediately snapped a photo of Philza's back head. They are so lucky that the disguise worked and those 4 idiots are really convinced [Y/N] is not there with them.

As soon as they snapped the photo, they sent it to the group chat. Looking away from their phone, they can see Wilbur pulling out their phone and immediately typing on the phone. [Y/N] giggled.

—

[n/n]: (sent a photo)

wilby: WHAT?! HOW?

—

They looked again at where the SBI is standing. Wilbur hurriedly tapped on Philza's shoulder and showed him the photo.

Philza's jaw dropped and exclaimed, "[Y/N] is here!?" Tommy's and Techno's heads whipped towards Philza and went towards the two of them.

"[Y/N]??? Here? Since when??" Tehcno asked.

"They sent a photo of my head!"

"That's impossible," Tommy said, crossing their arms. "They can't be here. Their parents didn't allow them to come remember? Maybe they asked a fan to take a photo of Phil's back head."

[Y/N] tried to contain their laughter as they just watch the four go chaos. They unlocked their phone again and opened the group chat. 

—

orphan obliterator: explain

wilby: HOW ARE YOU HERE

cawcaw man: you could've at least took a better shot at me

big man child: YOURE JUST PRANKING US RIHJTT WHO DID U HIRE!

[n/n]: ;)

—

While Tommy, Techno, Phil and Wilbur are in shambles and busy texting in the groupchat. [Y/N] saw a perfect opportunity.

Still not removing any of their disguise, they hurriedly yet sneakily walked towards theme. Good thing the boys had their backs turned and they can't see [Y/N] sneaking behind them.

They kept hearing continuous text notifications as it kept buzzing in their hands.

"They just sent a winky face and never replied!"

"I swear to god, they're just probably scaring us—"

"TOMMY!" [Y/N] screamed loudly at the ear of Tommy as managed to tackle the entire group causing the five of them to fall to the ground. The five of them got startled and screamed. Tommy's scream was the loudest.

"AAAAAHHH WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Other people looked at their direction due to how loud they all screamed. [Y/N] laughed and put their hand to their belly, trying to find support due to too much laughter. They just decided to continue laying on the floor because they're still busy laughing.

Wilbur immediately went to stand up and exclaimed, "[Y/N]?! You're really here?!"

"Holy shit." Phil laughed as he help Techno stand up from the ground. Tommy and [Y/N] are still the ones on the floor.

[Y/N] is too busy laughing while Tommy is in bewilderment and shock. "Careful, Tommy you're gonna catch a fly." Techno joked.

"His jaw dropped too hard." Tommy continued to stare at [Y/N] until he attacked and engulfed them in a big hug.

"Tommy you're crushing me."

"I don't care," Tommy replied, hugging [Y/N] even harder. "YOU FUCKER ARE REALLY HERE."

"Come up, child. It's now our turn to hug [Y/N]." Techno said as he tried to separate Tommy from them.

It took a while until Tommy got tired of hugging [Y/N] too hard so the two of them finally got the chance to stand up with the help of Phil, Wilbur and Techno. As soon as [Y/N] stood up, they were immediately greeted with Wilbur's and Philza's hug.

"You guys are really trying to crush and kill me, huh?"

“Move, it’s my turn.” Techno pushed Phil and Wilbur away and crushed poor [Y/N] as well. 

“I’m now very convinced all of you are plotting my death.” They said in between of the hugging. Techno let go and everyone’s adrenaline is still rushing. “YOOO!”

After finally getting accustomed to [Y/N] being with them, they all settled down and took a deep breath. "Man, I still can't believe you're really here, you sly motherfucker." Tommy stated.

"Yeah, me too."

Suddenly, Phil slightly nudged [Y/N]'s side and said, "Look you're number 1 trending already on Twitter."

[Y/N] let out a surprised gasp and immediately opened up Twitter. They scrolled down to see some tweets and oh boy, they really were trending that fast.

Pictures of [Y/N] sneaking behind the SBI, another one where [Y/N] tackles them to the ground, more pictures of them that just happened minutes ago.

How are people so fast????

—

It was a long day of meeting, greeting, signing and socializing with fans. The five of them might be tired but hey, it was an awesome day. Not only they get to go to TwitchCon and meet fans, but they also get to finally hang out in real life.

They are currently packing up their things from TwitchCon and heading out to eat dinner together. However, Tommy has other plans.

"Can you buy the cotton candy that I saw outside pleaseee??" Tommy pleaded to Techno.

"No."

He then went towards Phil but was already cutted off before Tommy even says anything. "We're going to eat dinner, save the sweets for later."

"But, PHILLLLLL." Tommy groaned.

[Y/N] laughed and sped walked beside Tommy. "Watch and learn bitch boy."

They then went towards Techno first and asked, "Can you buy that cotton candy for me?"

"Sure."

Tommy's jaw dropped. What the fuck ???

"That's so unfair!"

The rest of the night was spent goofing around, eating dinner together, strolling around and bullying Tommy (hj).

This was one of the best days they ever had. Wishing this all won't be over anytime soon.

Time may fly by so fast but you have to cherish and remember all the fun memories you had made.

Afterall, there are many more opportunities in which the five of you will meet up again. Who knows?

[erodasfishtacos]

could u please do like a harry x youtuber/influencer!reader and like lots of fluff🥺

Hi bubbie! Here you go :)))

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Language

Harry was panicking. His mum and sister were going to be here in less than two hours and he’s burnt the eggplant parmigiana he had worked tediously on. 

He grabbed what he had left in his fridge - ground beef, shredded cheddar cheese, and a little bit of bacon. 

It was the type of foods he usually strayed away from so sometimes when his shopper would bring this stuff home - he’d avoid it and admittedly sometimes it would go bad sitting in the fridge.

The singer pulls up YouTube onto his phone - hoping something would come up when he typed in the ingredients on the search bar.

He clicks on the first video by cookingwithnofucks. A chuckle at the name as an advertisement plays.

A cute, bubbly girl appears on screen in a beautiful modern kitchen. She has a shirt on that says ‘fuck the patriarchy and eat pizza’. A high ponytail and minimal makeup.

“Okay - today we’re making a cheeseburger casserole,” the girl chirps, “It’s a heart attack in a dish but it’s so fucking good.”

Harry finds himself smiling as he crinkles his nose - it sounds absolutely disgusting but he’s intrigued more by the girl on the screen.

“Shit, I forgot to introduce myself. Hiii, if you’re new - I’m Y/N and I do cooking shit. Subscribe to my channel and all that jazz,” she titters while cutting open her beef package.

Harry follows along step-by-step, shaking his head as she doesn’t describe the instructions nearly well enough and is generally all over the place.

It’s a fucking cooking channel and at one point the meat starts burning. She just laughs and says, “s’just a little crispy!” 

The casserole turns out looking even better than Y/N’s to be honest. It’s done in just the right amount of time for him to shower before his family arrives.

He makes sure to subscribe to her channel - eyebrows raising when he sees that she has 16 million subscribers.

Harry wanted to spend longer, looking at her social media but there was a fixed time so he locked his phone and went to get ready.

**

Anne - always the sweetheart just tells Harry that the casserole is delicious even as a bit of grease runs down her fork from the fatty meats.

Gemma wasn’t as kind, grimacing at the casserole and remarking, “You truly are turning into an American, huh?”

**

Laying in bed that night, Harry swipes back onto YouTube. Going back to the page he just subscribed to - under a pseudonym. He clicks on another video.

“Uh, okay. So I’m cooking...fuck, it’s called unicorn bark. It looks like a magical animal puke but it looks delicious so we’re going to try it.”

Harry realizes he’s been watching this girl cook for nearly an hour. Different videos from desserts to dinners.

She curses like a sailor, fucks up almost every recipe, and makes a mess everywhere. But she’s smiling and talkative which makes him quite memorized by her.

**

“I hate editing,” Y/N groans, letting her head fall dramatically against the desktop. Her best friend and dog looked at her oddly.

“I keep saying you need to hire someone, you stubborn bitch,” Laney retorts, clicking through her Instagram feed.

“Fuck off,” she tells her friend with no real heat. The video was almost fully edited - how to make spicy as fuck jalapeño poppers.

There is a calm silence for a while until Laney gasps, “Holy shit.”

“What is it?” Y/N asks, not really caring as she clicks her mouse to trim a segment.

“Harry fucking Styles just followed you on Instagram and Twitter!” Laney shouts, her dog - Rufus popping his head up in confusion.

Y/N looks at her friend to see if she’s really serious and sees no signs of deception. “Oh my god,” Y/N replies. She loved Harry Styles in One Direction and as a solo artist - a fangirl if you will.

Y/N was a well-known influencer and has run in the circles of many celebrities. She’s even met Liam Payne but she’s never been able to bump into Harry.

Her alerts tell her it to be true, she swallows as she looks back up at Laney, “He dm’ed me.”

“Open it! What did he say?” She squeals, squeezing herself on the chair next to her, peering over her shoulder at the phone.

Y/N is a bit nervous, trying not to have a mini aneurysm as she opens the message thread.

HarryStyles: Hello. Just wanted to let you know that your cheeseburger casserole recipe saved my ass last night. Cheers x

“He’s totally coming onto you,” Her friend states instantly, bouncing excitedly - she also had a bit of a crush on the singer.

It takes the two of them a minute to cool their shit before Y/N manages a reply.

Y/N/LN: Well I guess it’s only fair. Your songs have made a few of my nights much better. I’m a bit of a slut for Fine Line.

Harry laughs behind his screen at the cheeky reply he gets back. He’s usually never this forward - especially on social media where he likes to fly under the radar.

HarryStyles: Well if you fancy my music that much, I totally love for you to come to a show. I’m performing in New York City in two weeks.

“This has to be a joke, right?” Y/N sputters to her friend, eyes wide at the invite to a concert she already had tickets to.

Y/N/LN: I’m not going to lie, I already have tickets to the show. However, I don’t have any backstage passes to meet the man of the hour. Do you know someone who can hook me up?

It does wonders for Harry’s narcissism to know that she already had tickets for his concert. Was he really going to do this? He hasn’t met up with some like this since his One Direction days.

He had to remind himself - she may just be friendly and take this as a totally casual interaction. Which would be normal, Harry really shouldn’t be so infatuated with someone he’s watched cook on social media.

HarryStyles: I think I can arrange that. Shoot me your number? I’ll have them sent digitally to you with instructions on how to get backstage.

Y/N is a bit dumbfounded at how fast they agreed to meet up. A harmless backstage tour - he could just be a fan of hers and totally not interested, right?

**

Over the next few weeks, they never really stop texting. Harry sends her pictures of the recipes he copies off her channel - that usually always look better than the original. He sends her clips of him goofing around during tour rehearsal. FaceTimes her when he’s finally home for the night.  

She sends him videos of her watching Harry Styles Best Moment Part Five. A few photos she snaps throughout the city of him on billboards and buildings, in Times Square. YN facetimes him when she’s frustrated with filming or watched a sad movie.

It didn’t make sense to either of them how seamlessly they’d clicked - especially without meeting. They were a perfect balance for each other. Harry - laidback, organized, level-headed. Y/N - eccentric, all over the place, adventurous. 

Jeff had told him that he’s been gaining media attention from his social media interactions with Y/N. They like each other’s photos, begin following each other’s friends, and comment goofy things on their posts.

“Listen, I have a great idea,” Y/N begins - which Harry learned is never good. “You should film a video with me sometime.”

Y/N knew she was going out on a limb and instantly regretted the questions she’d been building the courage to ask for days when it’s quiet on his end. There’s static for a moment and Y/N needs to fill the silence.

“It was - I was just, uh, I know you’re probably too busy. I was -“ She stutters, embarrassment flooding her.

Harry cuts her off, “I’d love to.”

“Yo-you would?” She asks timidly. Was she really going to have Harry Styles in her apartment? If so, should she take down her poster?

He laughs sweetly, “Why do you sound so surprised? I can’t wait to come to New York, love.”

Y/N giggles, “Not the fact that you’re performing in front of a sold out crowd at MSG? I don’t think seeing me will top that.”

“I’ve been looking forward to meetin’ you in person since I came across your channel. You so lovely,” Harry replies, his voice a little softer but more serious.

“I’m nervous,” Y/N admits, picking at a thread in her jeans.

“Me too,” Harry murmurs, despite not wanting to admit it - he wanted her to know this was new territory for both of them. He didn’t want her to think that this was something that he did often. But a little too prideful to admit it’s the first time he’s ever done something quite like this.

“What if you don’t like me?” Y/N whispers, she...well she didn’t compare to the models he’s been seen with before. She’s regretfully fell into the rabbit hole of looking up his past flings and relationships.

Harry barks out a disbelieving laugh, “You can’t be serious, darling. I’ve been gone for you since I saw you burn that ground beef.”

**

Harry was having a bad day - scratch that. An awful one. He tried to go get coffee at eight in the morning and got bombarded by fans, he left the shop without even ordering. They followed him back to his car and it took him fifteen minutes to pull out.

His favorite Mickey Mouse Gucci suitcase he was bringing along on tour had busted. The zipper unraveling and the trim falling off as a result. It was a one-of-a-kind.

Then he’d been stuck on a Skype meeting about tour merchandise with a group of business partners for the last three hours - all he wanted was a fucking nap.

When Y/N’s contact vibrated across his screen, he’s itching to answer but declines as he needs to give these people his attention.

When she calls again, Harry feels a prickle of annoyance. It’s not even at her - to be quite honest. It’s just the shitty day and everything’s piling up.

He always got like this before he kicked off a tour - stress level maxed out and his ability to handle minor incidents nearly shot.

I’m busy

Okay! Sorry, just have a super exciting surprise for you, bub! 

I really do not feeling like talking. I’d rather be left alone.

Oh, alright. Hope everything’s okay! Do you still want to facetime later?

Harry leaves her on read because he doesn’t want to slip up and take out his frustration on her. He’d been known to do that and he didn’t want her to think he was anything but besotted with her.

**

Y/N feels a little hesitant as she begins the uploading process to her channel. The red loading bar told her it’d be twenty-minutes before it’s going to be posted to her 16 million subscribers - one of them being Harry himself. 

Twenty-minutes for her to back out and cancel the upload. She starts having doubts about it when Harry never replies to her text which is unlike him. 

She takes Rufus out to avoid staring at the loading screen with unnecessary anxiety and uneasiness.

**

Harry is just getting home from a business dinner with the touring company’s management team. The tension and anxiety from today piling up on his shoulders and he just wants to call Y/N and crash in bed. 

He tosses his keys in the little bowl in the entry and kicks off his dingy white vans to the side. His phone dings with an alert from Gemma.

You two are the literal cutest ever. It’s quite gross.

Harry slides onto a stool in his kitchen, confused by the text message before she’s sending the link to him.

Fine Line Inspired Cupcakes!

Harry isn’t quite sure why his heart starts pounding furiously in his chest. A sinking feeling in his stomach when he realizes that this was probably the surprise she was excited about.

He clicks on the thumbnail.

“Hiiii, it’s Y/N. Okay, well today we are going to bake some Fine Line inspired cupcakes. And if you haven’t listened to the album - get your ass out from rock you’re living under and stream it on Spotify!”

She has her hair down in long, waves and a loose cropped shirt that says TPWK in rainbow embroidery.

Harrys mouth is dry and he can’t take his fucking eyes away from the screen. 

“Soo, I was thinking the first batch would be cherry flavored? ‘Cause he has a song titled ‘Cherry’. Let’s start there. First - I need to find my measuring cups.”

In true Y/N fashion, she scours her kitchen - cussing and yanking stuff out of her neatly organized cabinets before huffing and storming off to the side.

She comes back into view, a little frazzled but smiling when she holds up the ring of plastic measuring spoons, visible bite marks notched into the material.

“My asshole of a dog had a little snack,” Y/N shows the camera before shrugging, “Let’s get this shit started. Okay, you’re going to need one cup of sugar - no wait, two? I can’t read my fucking handwriting.”

Harry’s absolutely enamored by this scatter-brained, giggly girl who manages to produce cute blue and pink cupcakes that very vaguely resembled his album cover. His heart felt a million times too big for his chest.

He was enraptured for the entirety of the thirty minute video without taking his eyes away once.

To be honest, he hadn’t felt this way since his last relationship which was over a year ago at this point.

It’s not even a thought as he’s requesting a FaceTime with Y/N. 

She answers after a few rings. She has a green face mask painted on her nose, chin, and forehead with gold eye masks under each eye. She is so fucking ridiculous it’s not even funny. 

What is even more ridiculous is how gone Harry is realizing he is for her. She was quirky, unfiltered, carefree. If he was honest - he hadn’t met a girl like that in a very long time - especially a well-known influencer.

“Hi! How was your day, grumpy?” Y/N asks brightly, making a goofy face as the mask begins to tighten and crack on her skin. Not holding the earlier conversation against him and deciding to just move forward. She understood how stressful it can be.

“M’sorry. I was a bit grumpy,” He admits, “I loved your new video, darling. Did you make those just f’me?”

He can tell she’d be blushing if her face wasn’t covered, a bit bashful as she mutters, “You already know I did it for you.”

“You’re too sweet to me, only six days until we meet,” Harry replies, voice taking on a slow, lazy drawl. 

“Six days,” Y/N repeats, eyes crinkling as she smiles with excitement.

**

“Is this outfit too much?” Y/N panics. Even though there’s literally nothing she can do about it - they’re already walking towards the backstage entrance of the massive arena. It’s still about two hours until the show starts but Harry requested her to come earlier.

Laney sighs, “For the millionth time, you look fucking sexy and Harry’s going to want to rail you right when he sees you.”

Y/N shoves her lightly with a faux annoyance as they meet up with a burly man who’s blocking the entrance to the backstage hallway and rooms.

She gives him their names and pulls up the passes on her phone before he’s nodding with any expression and letting them pass.

They’re not quite sure where to go from here so they begin to wander down the long hallway toward what looks to be the main area that people are milling about.

Y/N is nearly on the ground when someone rounds the corner without looking and walks right into her. Both of them let out huffs of air as they collide and attempt to stabilize themselves.

But there are large hands grasping her arms and holding her steady. In typical Y/N fashion she’s already cursing, “fuckin like a brick wall, look out next time.”

Then she’s looking up to Harry staring back down at her with an amused expression. He doesn’t let go of her and instead tugs her against his bare chest. He’s warm and a bit sweaty - like he’d just worked out. He was only in a pair of thin, running shorts, nike tennis shoes, and a little clip holding his hair off of his face.

Y/N can’t help but wrap her arms around his waist, returning the embrace and amazed by how right it feels to be in his arms. Her face tucks right against his collarbone and it’s like they’d known each other for years.

Pictures and videos don’t do this man justice. He’s gorgeous - sharp edges and dark inked skin. Tall and muscular but dimples that are carved in his cheeks. 

“Nice to meet you, m’Harry,” Harry rumbles, removing one hand from Y/N’s shoulder to reach out his hand to her friend.

Laney shakes his hand before asking, “Laney. I’ll leave you two lovebirds be. Where’s the food?”

Harry chuckles against Y/N’s wavy hair, “Down the hall to the left.”

Laney’s trailing off without another glance, she was very food motivated despite her skinny frame. Also not wanting to intrude of the very personal first moments of their meeting.

The popstar pulls back to look down at the girl he’s fallen for in mere weeks. She’s as beautiful as he thought she'd be - if not more. He can’t help himself, “Would it be too forward to kiss you?”

Y/N smiles widely, running a hand along his jawline, “I’ve wanted you to kiss me since you stayed up on FaceTime with me until two in the morning as I cried after watching The Notebook - despite me seeing it a million times.”

Harry ducks forward to press his lips softly to her, large hands come to cup the side of her face as they connect. He’s so gentle as he moves his mouth against hers. In true Y/N fashion, she’s bold and has no hesitation slipping her tongue into his mouth.

He’s so fucking in love with her. It doesn’t make much sense - it’s definitely not logical but he’s realizing that’s okay.

“Oii, get a room!” Someone shouts from down the hallway teasingly.

Harry flips them the middle finger and pulls back, pink lips swollen and puffy, dimples on full display, “Let me take you out to dinner after the show, darling.”

“You going to wine and dine me, Styles?” Y/N giggles, unable to contain the pleasant warmness he’s spreading through her body. 

“Mmm, have t’make sure you’ll want to keep me,” Harry murmurs happily against her lips once again, pressing kiss after kiss to her to make sure she’s real, “Definitely want to keep you.”

Y/N bites teasingly at his bottom lip, hand planted on the soft but firm skin of his stomach, “You’re never getting rid of me, hope you know that.”

“Was hoping you’d say that, now let me introduce you to my band.”

                                  -- ---- ---- -- 1 year later - -- --- --- --

“Hi bitches! Today is a super special day. We have the one, the only Harry Styles filming with us. I know that’s not really that special since he’s on here all the time with me. But we’re celebrating our one year anniversary!” Y/N smiles, bumping hips with Harry who stands dutifully next to her. 

Anyone viewing can see the absolute heart-eyes and adoration he has for the girl standing next to him. He’s still as lovestruck and gone for her as he was the first time they met. Harry’s fans were thrilled - for the first time in years, he’d opened up again.

They weren’t very public on social media beside’s tagging each other in memes and posting the occasional picture. Y/N was constantly uploading cooking videos from wherever in the world she was with Harry on his tour, she’d also begin making vlogs about different foods she’s been experiencing.

---

“Okay, so here in Peru - they’re known to have this really fucking spicy beef with noddles. So obviously, I’m going to make Harry try it first,” Y/N laughs as she props the camera up on the side of the table on a napkin holder.

Harry - who has a concert in a few hours - frowns at the steaming dish in front of him, “Darling, I don’t want to try it first. It’s going to burn my mouth. Not gonna be able to sing.”

“You’re sucha baby sometimes,” Y/N rolls her eyes, slurping up the noodles with her fork while making a silly face at her boyfriend. She pulls back, straight-faced, “It’s not hot at all. Tastes amazing, though.”

Harry takes that as an initiative to shovel a spoonful into his mouth. It only takes half a moment until his taste buds erupt in fiery flames from the spices, “You bloody little brat, y’tricked me! It’s so fuckin’ hot!”

Y/N smiles widely, laughing much too loudly in the restaurant when Harry chugs the glass of water next to the plate while glaring at his love. “I’m sorry, s’just to easy with you, lovie,” She replies, leaning over the table to press a kiss to his lips. 

He’s a sucker for her and kisses her right back despite his mouth being an inferno. His heart was on fire for her and that burned much more intensely.

---

“No, love. The instructions say baking soda, not baking powder. They’re not the same thing,” Harry sighs, attempting to read her scribbled, sloppy handwriting. She’d already spilled milk on half of the paper.

“S’interchangeable, right?” Y/N hums, cracking an egg into the bowl and Harry automatically knows to look to fish out the eggshells that’d she’d let slip in because she sucks at cracking eggs but always wants to do it.

Harry reaches over her, grabbing the vanilla extract and a teaspoon, “It’s not, baby. Lemme do this real quick.”

“Will you make me a grilled cheese after this?” She asks, nuzzling into his side and wrapping her arms around his waist as he finishes adding the wet ingredients to their bowl. Harry stopped questioning her thought process a long time ago.

Harry swipes his finger into the mixture of icing off to the side and rubs it right onto her nose, cackling at her pout and squeaking when she pinches at the fleshy skin of his hips. She in turn dips her finger into the sugary cream and pops it right into her mouth.

Harry eyes darken, watching her lips purse as she sucks off the icing. It was a dirty move on Y/N’s part and she knows it. It has her boyfriend dragging an icing-covered thumb along her collarbone before leaning down to slowly lick up the sugary trail with his tongue.

When Y/N slides her fingers into his hair and lets out a pretty moan, Harry’s standing back up, trailing over to the tripod and saying into the camera, “We’ll be back after a little commercial break,” and is then turning off the record button.

It takes little to no time for Harry to have Y/N’s bum on the countertop, mouth on her neck, and hand in-between her thighs.

And when they finally posted a very edited final cut of the video - well there may be a couple of fans who notice the how flushed Y/N is halfway through and a lovely purple mark on Harry’s neck that wasn’t there in the beginning of the video.

[kkusuka]

HQ Middle blocker kinks <3

@xxxxtanaxxxx​ request  hq kinks but middle blocker version please 🥺

I'm gonna be honest i wasn't gonna do this buuut here it is 

i have a setter one in the works and here is the ace version!

here is the setter version <3

Characters:  Tsukishima Kei, Kuroo Tetsuro, Suna Rintaro, Satori Tendo, Taichi Kawanishi, Issei Matsukawa,  Takanobu Aone,, Shoyo Hinata, Lev Haiba Shugo Meian (MSBY captain), and Yutaro Kindaichi

Mentioned female anatomy, but mostly gn

content warning: consensual non-con, humiliation, public sex, exhibitionism, voyeurisms, degradation, bondage, sex toys, cockwarming, edging, soft priamal/prey, mentions of house break-ins, pegging, size kink, overuse of the word Daddy, face fucking, hickeys

i think thats all? 

buckle up, this is gonna be looooong.

Tsukishima Kei

Degradation

This is a given, my mans has a mouth on him, AND HE KNOWS HOW TO USE IT

He says the most vulgar things in your ears (and you love it)

His nickname for you is Cum-dump, and he calls you that so much that you’ve started to respond to it. “Hey, Cum-dump! Come here” “ok Tsukki”

And when he’s cumming? A slew of insults just come out

“You whore, oh, you fucking cum-slut, you’d let anyone do this to you won't you”

And it's not limited to this!

“You're just a hole”

“You only exist for me to fuck, Right? You're just a glorified fleshlight”

“You're only good for sucking my cock”

“I should just leave you chained to the wall so I can fuck you anytime I want, that's all you're good at so you should love it”

It won’t even be only during sex

You could literally be just studying with him and he’ll just lean over and say “ you want to be fucked right now don't you? In front of all these people, I bet you’d love it Cum-dump”

Humiliation

Goes with a dirty mouth

He’ll flip your skirt while walking in front of groups of other students

He purposely sucks hickeys where your uniform does not cover and then laughs at you because you're just such a slut.

One of his favorite things to do is have you wear a vibrator in school, only on days where you have to do something in front of the class

No worries he has the remote and turns it alllllll the way up during the middle of your presentation, you just look so cute all red!

He’ll make it better!!

You can cum in front of the class, let everyone know how much of a whore you are!

Purposeful neglect

He wants you so horny you can’t think

If that means not giving you attention for FIVE DAYS so be it.

No touching yourself and if he finds out you did he’ll ignore you for longer and you don’t want that do you?

You will wait for him to touch you.

He’ll also just ignore you.

No begging, he doesn't care, he doesn't want to hear it.

Don't touch him, stop being a brat or you won’t get off for a whole week.

Bondage

It's all about control <3

Having you tied up and immobile is the best way to show how little you are.

He’ll tie you up and put you on the couch with a vibrator and just watch movies, unable to rock your hips

This seems cruel but he’ll tie your hands up and make you eat dinner with just your mouth <3

He’ll make you watch tv with a ball gag in

He’ll have a riding crop in his hands when you study and he’ll hit your little clit/silt with it every time you get a question wrong

Kuroo Tetsuro

Pet names

Literally any kind o endearment, but mainly switches between Kitten and Baby Girl/Boy(i am swooning right now)

He WILL call you these in front of people and out loud in public

He’s called you them in front of your parents in front of Kenma in the middle of the grocery store.

So you're wondering, why does that matter? People do that all the time!

Well, he calls you them so you remember how he completely ruined your little body and how his cum is still dripping out of you <3

And its cannon that he has a sexy voice, and it drops and gets deeper when he calls you them.

Thigh highs

It doesn't matter in you have the biggest thighs ever or just a bone, if you wear any kind of thigh highs (bonus points for Cat ones) he will be ready to bust a nut

It's not only him that gets off on them, especially when he takes them off

He’ll climb over you and use his teeth to pull them down to your feet and he’ll kiss and bite his way back up to do the other one.

He also will sometimes leave them on to rail you into your bed, when this happens he puts your legs over your shoulders and squishes his head between them.

(kuroo loves thighs, and that's that)

Caregiver

He's taken care of Kenma all his life, and you bet your ass he’ll do it for you

This means he gives the best aftercare you could imagine, I’m talking bubble baths

He’ll cook for you in nothing but an apron, and he’ll tease you when you get all flushed and cute!

You had a bad day? He’ll eat you out for hours until you’re all cuddly and tired.

He’ll fuck you slow where you need it and he’ll kiss all the pain away <3

He just loves having you dependent on him makes him so happy and thankful to have you!

Threesomes

Mainly for Kenma, but he let bokuto have a turn and even convinced Tsikki to give it a try!

He really just wants to show off that you’re his what better way to show you off then let some of them get a taste of something they’d never have.

Favorite position for this? Split roasting/ Eiffel towering

He's the one who you're sucking on, and he’s so far down your throat making him suck you deeper and deeper until you’re drooling all over his balls like a good Kitten

Whoever he sharing you with would be in you following whatever Kuroo tells them to do

Rub your clit? Yes Sir.

Faster. Yup

Slowdown Kittens being bad so she doesn't get to get off <3

Suna Rinatro

Purposeful neglect

Just like Tsukki, he wants you hot and bothered all the time

He will just sit around and scroll on his phone while you’re whining :(

Just let him watch this video and he’ll get you off!

Will never tell you but you just look so cute, all needy and horny for him.

Sometimes he’ll slip you a libido pill and just watch the world burn.

He will wait until you have ruined whatever shorts you’re wearing (and he’ll take them) and THEN he will help his poor needy baby

Cockwarming

Almost every time he games, he puts you on his dick

you already know it’s happening when he takes the controller out

He says it's because he doesn't want to “leave you out”

No moving on him though, if you8 move it could distract him and you do not want him to lose, losing means being pounded into the floor until you can't think, then being ignored the rest of the day “horny sluts can sit on the floor until they need to be used”.

But if all goes well, he’ll go soft in between rounds and will suck on your neck and will let you cuddle into him during the rounds

But when Suna if feeling a bit more adventurous he will put his headset on you and fuck you with all of his friends listening

And if that's not bad enough they all clearly know what’s happening id Osamus soft coo’s and Gin’s little comments (but it's not like they want it to stop anyway)

Edging

Will literally just do this out of nowhere

You thought you were finally gonna cum, then nothing

HE WILL just do things for hours to see you cry and begging or him to just let you cum

He’ll stick four fingers in you and bring you to your climax and just leave you on the edge

He won't even have a reason, you were being good, you let him play his game and he does this?

Que pouty bby

Video/Photography

We all saw this coming-

But he takes it a step further than just having a photo collection of you

He has a personal private story with just you in it where he put videos of you riding him or sucking his dick fo you to “see how slutty you are”

 that's not even it,  he sends you a picture of you naked in the middle of work, with no shame either

Thus one time you were showing a coworker a shirt you had bought and he texted you and the picture showed up. It was awkward for the next few days.

But these don't even compare to how he has an entire Instagram account (private of course) of your nodes and videos of the two of you fucking.

One extra little thing is that you both watch porn together for ideas.

Satori Tendou

(i could make him a post of his own-so so many kinks for Satori)

Humiliation (mentions of pee)

This can range from calling you names to making you touch yourself in public

He’s called you a pillow princess in the middle of class, in front of your teacher

It had gotten so bad they Ushijima had to ask what a “cum-dumpster was” because Satori had called you that in front of the team.

He doesn't even introduce you as his S/O, hw=e would call you an escort or that you were just his personal fuck toy.

This kink goes so far that when you were on a double date with Semi, under the table Tendo had his hand literally in your pants.

**One of his favorite things is to make you hold your pee in until you are almost peeing yourself, isn't that embarrassing that you're a grown adult who’s about to wet yourself?

Overstimulation

He wants to see you a complete mess all over him

The main goal of all of this is to make you squirt or begin to have dry orgasms

He will not stop until he’s happy or you say your safe word (which is rare)

One orgasm just isn't enough for him :/

And it's a big boost of confidence for him!

he‘s proud to know he can make you cum so much you cant even think!

Dacryphilia

This AND overstim?

Good luck

He can't even explain why it turns him on so much.

You just look so beautiful with tears streaming down your face all fucked out

It always hits him at the worst times too, you crying over a bad grade? A pretty tear falling over your soft cheeks. Hard.

Just watched a sad movie, he’s ready to pound you into the couch.

Anal

Oh ho ho

This can be one of two things, he does it because it feels good

OR

He does it as punishment

That means no lube

No adjusting to his dick

And no extra pleasure to help you get off

He’s so mean </3

Taichi Kawanishi

This man screams pornstar

Public sex

This man is unstable

You could just be walking in public and he just decides he wants to fuck.

Who are you to stop him?

Just let him get this out real quick you can shop later.

Exhibitionism

The thought of being in the open? This man loves it

And you don't really have a choice but to love it

Every time you go to the beach he just has his dick in you, in the ocean sitting in his lap while eating lunch

He doesn't even care who sees

Children? Who cares, look away or whatever

Getting caught

It doesn't even matter who it is

If someone walks in when you're doing it he’s cumming

It's just hot

He doesn't need to explain it to you

he also makes u take nudes and had them as his homescreen for a while

Issei Matsukawa

I’d let this man kill me-

Leather/ latex

LEATHER GLOVES

He wears them when he fingers you so he can make fun of how wet you made them.

He dresses you up in these pretty little pastel dresses (gender to heel, he doesn't care, you look hot weather your a boy, girl, or not) and he wears all black (goth daddy Mattsun) and his gloves to fuck you in his leather-covered fist.

That's not even it

He has an entire bin of different colored chokers and leashes just for his pretty baby

Along with that, he has a shelf of latex thigh highs for you to wear and even has an entire outfit for you to wear and show off to him.

Ddlg/b/n-Lifestyle

This is why he has a lot of things that you wear!

He loves to take care of you all the time!

He loves to make his baby food and love to watch movies with you

And you love him so much too!

You would do anything for Daddy!

And he takes you shopping and to restaurants, and if you want literally anything big or small all you have to do is look up at him with puppy dog eyes and a “Daddy, please!!” and boom his credit card is already out.

Size kink

Big dick Mattsun-

This all comes back to the fact that you are so beautiful

And big dick little hole, who doesn't love that??

He sure does, don't worry though he always makes sure to prep you

Except if it's punishment- he doesn't like it he swears! He’d never want to hurt you!

And you’d believe it until your crying on his cock and it throbs ://

But if it still hurts, and it does, he’ll let you go your pace and sink all the way down onto his cock<3

Fun fact the first time he went into your ass he tried to with no lube and you couldn't sit for DAYS

Voyeurism (receiving)

Makki Makki Makki

I would say he was into Cuckolding but its always him doing the watching while Issei fucks you

And Makki loves it too if his constant praises and coo’s said anything about it.

And Mattsun just gets off on the fact his best friend is watching something he’ll (maybe if you're not into it) never fully have

Mattsun also likes having you tied up an watching him fuck a fleshlight of just jerking off

You look so pathetic :)

extra for big dick mattsun, he Shows all of his friends <3

I am a whore for the Seijoh 4

You bet Makki has an entire folder of pic of you, whether they are of you dripping cum or just with your legs open.

Even if he says he doesn't save them, you know Iwa has gotten off you a recording of you moaning and asking for Daddy’s cock

And Oikawa is always asking for more (the little manwhore), he says they are “references” for him, liar, he jerks off to them in his bathroom.

Takanobu Aone

It's always the quiet ones-

I just gotta get these first two out-

Consensual non-con

I can just TELL he like to pretend to break into your house

Pretend you're so scared and you don't like it

Tying you up and listening to your little cries, awwwwweeee

You were just too pretty to ignore

Just let him have a taste, stop crying he knows you want it just as much as he does

Primal/prey

He wants to feel like he earned his reward

A perfect little trophy for him to use as a toy

His dick in your tiny dripping hole is all the reward he needs

It's like you're a pretty innocent bunny and he’s a big fox just waiting for the right time to strike :)

Soft sex/ praise

I know what I said up there

But none of that means he doesn't love just setting you down on the bed with candles and rose petals and just making love

Soft music in the background and worshipping every inch of your skin

You need to be vocal though!

Tell him how pretty he is when he cums, and how perfectly his dick fits in your hole!

Tell him how soft he looks and how he is making your nipples feel like heaven.

Aftercare- bc I am also soft for aone and he is a good guy

Bubble baths and chocolate

Movies and cuddling

All of this makes him so glad that he found you

Especially when you cuddle into him all sleepily and tired.

Shoyo Hinata

oh he is so pretty-

Mutual masturbation

It's the perfect way to experience pleasure

He can see you in all your glory

All of the faces he sometimes misses when he’s fucking you!

He also learns from it!

He sees the angle your fingers go to hit that sweet spot so the next time he’s in you he knows where to aim!

(he is so precious-)

Pegging

You wanted to try it so he almost immediately agreed-

But it felt good!

The two of you reserved what one you wanted so the one he picked was almost made for him.

Plus, you look ridiculously good with the strap on-

And he voices that as much as he can!

And sometimes when he rides the strap he just watches it going in and out and in and out

(you also think this is SUPER hot but won't tell him :/)

Riding

It doesn't matter if it's you or him

Watching you fall apart on his cock without him doing a thing makes him cum harder than anything

Sometimes he gets so excited that he comes before you and makes you stay there until he’s hard again, which doesn't take long at all.

when it's him?

he’ll go for hours just to hear you tell him how good he is and how pretty he looks

Lingerie

Especially pastel babydolls

But nothing you wear could ever make you look bad in his eyes

Ok he likes it when you keep the lingerie on too like he’s fucking you and you till have a little nightgown/crop top on

Lord he will BUUUUUUSSSTTT

Lev Haiba

Size kink

Unintentionally too

He didn't even know it, but he did know that he liked that you were so much smaller than him.

He likes to put your hand to him and just look at the difference and before he knew it he was painfully hard

On the occasion, he makes fun of you saying his dick is just too big for you and you can't handle it, but then you get on your knees and he shuts up real quick

Praise kink

A given

He wants to know how good he makes you feel at all times

It doesn't have to be words either!

loud moans explanations of pleasure all drive him to move faster and faster!

Even yelling “oh god!” gets him off

He makes you feel that good huh?

Wall sex

Just playing on the size kink thing

He loves to just pick you up and fuck with reckless abandon

Gets a way better angle too- bet you didn't think he would realize that

He also likes to watch the combination of your juices drip to the floor-

Shugo Meian (MSBY captain)

Sexiest team-

Daddy/ Captain kink

Just look at him, he screams Daddy louder than you do when he’s fucking you

He takes pride in being Captain meaning he’ll fuck you for hour if the word even falls from your lips

And yes you have said it (daddy) front of the team and he did get hard, and the both of you did fuck in the locker room of the gym for an hour before you got kicked out

Even in arguments you better call him daddy, he will stop and fuck you into the ground for it

Angry or not you WILL use his title

Spanking

Will threaten you with this almost everyday

He just uses it as an excuse to touch your ass

He makes you count after each one and makes you thank him

It would look a bit like this

“Five! Thank you Daddy!” “Good Baby, five more”

But that doesn’t mean when you really deserve it that he won't unleash the wrath of god onto your poor ass

But after he’ll kiss it all better and Daddy will reward you for taking your punishment well

Controlled orgasms

By this i mean that you wont cum unless he says so

And you have to ask

Aka “Daddy please let me cum, I really want to”

And depending on what he’s feeling maybe you’ll get to cum then

And if not you’ll have to wait like a good Girl/Boy and cum when he does, which could late literally forever.

but its better than disobeying his orders, which could lead to him completely pulling out and just jerking off to cum on you :((

Deepthroating/ Face Fucking

Nothing is better to him than coming home to you on your knees and mouth open and ready

But when he’s all pent up from practice and he sees you?

Rip your throat, you aren't talking for a few days

He’ll literally fuck your face no question

He’ll put his dick so far down your throat you could feel it in your stomach

Yutaro Kindaichi

Hate sex 

He just makes everyone angry

And he gets off on it

You look so fucking delectable all red faced and angry

Makes him want to just slam into right then and there

Dom/Sub

Clearly he wants to be in control

Controlling someone is just such a  turn-on for him

Looking all pretty doing exactly what he wanted you too <3

Hickeys 

Wants to show off that you are his 

What better way than marking up your neck with pretty bruises

Plus he likes how you get all shy when people look at them 

[thefanficmonster]

Let Them Talk

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female) ft. Sykkuno

Warnings: Swearing, Jealousy

Genre: Fluff, a bit of Angst

Summary: We can all agree Among Us is a fun game on its own but what makes it ten times better is playing it with the right company. Y/N could agree 100% Being a streamer herself, she loves playing with the streamer gang that includes her boyfriend and best friend. But, what happens when her boyfriend starts doubting her feelings for him due to her close relationship with her best friend.

Requested by @cheetoscat . Thank you so much for your request! Sorry it took so long to write, I hope the final product is worth the wait. Enjoy! Love, Vy ❤

Y/AU/N - Your Among Us Name

I settle in my gaming chair, adjusting my webcam one last time before joining the Among Us lobby with my friends. 

“Hi everyone!“ I say into the mic, a smile plastering itself on my face. Discord is a magical thing, man. It’s so easy to forget that the people you are talking to aren’t around you or within arm’s reach. You could be separated by miles and miles of land or - in our case - oceans as well. Distance becomes negligible when you hear your friends’ voices, their laughter; when you have a good time together despite being each behind a screen, often times alone.

Well, I’m one of those lucky ones that isn’t alone. No one knows that, though. Everyone thinks I’m a single, self-employed girl that’s straight out of college. And they are 90% right. Only thing is - I’m not single. That would be a shocker in and of itself, but revealing who’s changed my relationship status would be a bomb with a whole new intensity.

Speaking of my significant other who shall remain unnamed - just kidding, it’s Corpse - his form materializes in the doorway of my recording room. I give him a hand signal the camera isn’t able to capture, alerting him of the fact that my mic is on. He replies by blowing me a kiss and walking off down the hall to his recording room where he’ll be stationed for the next three or so hours.

I owe this relationship to my best friend Sykkuno. I’m a pretty new and not very well known on the platform, however, thanks to him I haven’t only obtained a boyfriend, but a following of a little over million subscribers as well. 

It all started with an invitation to fill a spot in the Among Us lobby him and his friends had created. It took him quite a bit to convince me to join, but I eventually caved and agreed. Suddenly, there I was. In a Discord call, in an Among Us lobby with some of the most well-known names on this platform. I’m talking YouTube legends. I was that puppy playing with the big dogs. The newbie tagging along with the big leagues. Or at least that’s how I felt until we all started vibing - talking and teasing each other as though we’ve known each other for years and not minutes.

When I joined the call, Corpse wasn’t present. After everyone else introduced themselves, Sykkuno informed me that we were waiting for Corpse to return. The name sounded really cool to me and I was genuinely very excited to meet this Corpse guy.

And then, out of the blue - no prep, no warning...

“Did you get someone to fill the spot? Oh- Hello, Y/AU/N.“ 

…he started talking and he had me star-struck. Apparently, he also had me a blabbering mess cause I remember blurting out: “Whoa, who’s this guy speaking in bold and underlined at the same time?”

The entire lobby, including Corpse, laughed. Sean, or Jack like they called him most often, answered my question, “That is the voice of God, Y/N. Its source is named Corpse, though.”

Heat spread from the bottom of my neck to the tips of my ears. I was mortified by my own stupidity. I was well aware they couldn’t see me and I was incredibly thankful for that, but I simply could not get myself to open my eyes. “I’m so sorry.” I said through nervous laughter.

“No, no, I like that description. Bold and underlined at the same time, huh?“ His voice sounded even more pleasant when it had that teasing, mischievous note to it. That thought popping up in my head only made things worse for my self-esteem and only made me more embarrassed, causing me to hide my face in my hands. “You sure it’s not in Italics as well?“ 

His question got a weak laugh out of me. “Nope, definitely not. Nothing Italic about it.“

Yes, I don’t even know how some terrible jokes about MS Word fonts got me as far as a romantic relationship, but they did! We’ve been living together for quite some time now, dating for even longer - hiding it just as long. It’s not that we have been actively trying to hide it or something, we just wanted to see how long it would take someone to become sus of us. When we realized no one would notice, we decided that if any rumors about us started, or even fans shipping us, we’d come clean. That hasn’t happened either, so we haven’t had the proper chance to address our relationship and neither of us minds.

At this point, I’m honestly afraid of revealing it to the gaming squad. Sykkuno especially. He’s my best friend, after all. I can see him being hurt by the fact that I kept a secret so big even from him. The last thing I wanna do is hurt my best friend but it’s already too late for that, it’s inevitable.

“Y/N have you looked at Twitter today?“ Rae, another streamer I’ve become close with over the months, says urgently.

Overlooking the tension in her words, I answer: “Nope, haven’t had the time. Why? What’s up?“

Before Rae can say anything else, Sykkuno joins the conversation, his voice somehow even more urgent than Rae’s. “It’s nothing, Y/N. If you see it, just don’t let it bother you, ok?”

Hearing such a tone from Rae isn’t unusual, but hearing it from Sykkuno is completely different and a lot more worrisome. “Well if it has the potential of bothering me it can’t be nothing. What’s going on?”

Just then, my phone dings with two notifications. I check to see they are messages from Rae.

“I sent you screenshots. Sorry, Sykkuno. She has to know in order to address it and defuse it as well. I know better than anyone how fast these rumors can spread, especially if no one reacts to them.“ She says, her tone barely apologetic at all.

I open the screenshots she has sent me and I find myself frozen in shock. Some old pictures of Sykkuno and I have been posted on Twitter by some random user. These pictures have started an entire thread of suspicions surrounding our relationship.

The pictures in question are from a New Year’s Eve party a mutual friend of ours held two years ago. Sure, in the pictures we are a lot closer than what would be considered a platonic proximity. And yes one of the pictures is of me kissing his cheek. Yes we were both a bit tipsy. I acknowledge all those things and yet none of them are concrete reasons for these rumors to have started piling. 

“This is silly.“ I finally say after maybe five minutes of silence on my end. ”This is absolutely ridiculous! And why are people so serious about it as well? Actual, important matters get discussed more nonchalantly than the potential relationship between two online personalities! What is this world we live in?“ I know I shouldn’t let these rumors get to me like this, especially not on camera. Still, I can’t help it. I feel it’s so unfair to Corpse. He has to put up with this as well and it’s by no means easy for him. I’ve been shipped with people from our group in the past and he always took those rumors to heart despite acting like he didn’t care. Neither of us should get worked up, but him getting upset about them creates a domino effect with my emotions - causing me to be hit just as hard as him, in some cases harder.

Rumors of the past aside, this one is the worst by far. Mostly cause even Corpse himself suspected something between Sykkuno and I at the very beginning, when we were still acquaintances, barely crossing into the realm of friends.

I pull up Twitter to look for the whole thread, barely sparing my stream chat a glance in the process. It seems pretty split - those who agree with me and those who think Sykkuno and I make ‘such an adorable couple’. The thread is ridiculously long, and if we take into account that it was only started approximately five hours ago, you can either view it as impressive, amusing or sad. Why sad? Because someone has dedicated so much time and effort into fueling the fire of a weakly supported theory.

I love Sykkuno with all my heart. Everyone knows that - fandom, streamer squad, Corpse and Sykkuno included. I love too much and too platonically to ever even dream of having a romantic connection with him. I thought that was more than obvious, but people are either blind here, or just grasping at straws. One thing’s for certain - they’re stepping on a nerve.

“Hey where’s Corpse? Did he disconnect?” Felix asks, gaining my full attention. My eyes dart to the monitor, searching through the little avatars in a desperate search for the one of my boyfriend. It’s nowhere to be found.

“He just messaged me saying his connection is unstable but he might join us later.“ Rae says, “You guys can invite someone to fill...“

“Bathroom break.“ I interrupt, not waiting for a response before shutting my mic off, putting the ‘BRB‘ graphic on my stream and yanking the headset off. I basically run down the hall to Corpse’s recording room, my heart pounding like a bass drum.

“Corpse?!“ I call out to him, one hand already on the doorknob. When five seconds pass by without a response, I barge in. 

Inside, I find his usual spot on the gaming chair empty and his slumped figure seated on his bed.

“Corpse?“ I try again, watching for even the tiniest change of body language. He remains still as a statue, not bothering to look up at me either. 

His hands are gripping the edge of the mattress, his head hanging low. His eyes are covered by the short curtain of his dark messy curls. I can’t gauge much. Is he angry? Is he sad? Both? How should I approach the situation?

Before I find the answer to any of those questions, I am kneeling in front of him, our height difference eliminated. I gently pry his hands off the mattress and take them in mine, holding them firmly but tenderly. With one hand I reach up to tilt his head so his eyes can meet mine. He complies, his tear-filled brown orbs meeting mine. Those tears have the same effect on me as fifty sharp knives stabbing into my chest. These tears focus their attack straight on my heart, tearing it to pieces.

“Baby....“

He cuts me off, “Why is it always someone else, huh? Do they deem me not worthy of being with you? Do they think you deserve better?” His voice wavers, “Well, they might be right. They are correct and there’s little I can do to prove them wrong. They mean you well, Y/N - pairing you with guys better than me. Those are some loyal fans you’ve got. They only want what’s best for you. And so do I. If ‘best’ is being with someone else then...”

It’s my turn to cut him off. I put an end to his nonsense ramble that’s slowly killing me by pressing my finger against his lips. The sternness of my gaze is beyond me as I get up and walk over to his computer setup. I put on his headset and hop into the call as well as the lobby with his avatar.

“Hey Corpse’s back!” Toast says, “Good to have you back buddy.”

“No, not Corpse.” I say in a casual, nonchalant voice.

“Wait, wha-“ Sean’s voice shows just how confused he is, representing the confusion of the entire lobby actually.

“I know all of you are streaming so this message will be heard by several different audiences so I’m gonna make myself perfectly clear.“ I take a deep breath, “Sykkuno and I aren’t dating. He’s a lovely guy and he deserves to find a girl who will treat him right. That girl isn’t and won’t be me though. I am already treating someone right. Someone who treats me more than right as well. An amazing person. A man-child with a heart of gold. You know him, to a certain extent. He goes by the name of Corpse Husband, but I prefer to call him ‘Love of my life’. Thank you for your time and attention, goodbye.“

I exit the call and turn around to find a stunned Copse looking at me.

“That was meant for you just as much.“ I say with a fake strict attitude, one hand on my hip the other rested on his desk behind me, “Were you listening?“

Within milliseconds, he’s on his feet standing directly in front of me, his lips inches away from mine. “I heard and memorized every word. But...” he pauses for a moment, “I think you have no idea how big of a chaos you just created.”

I smile mischievously, “We’ll worry about that later. For now...” I close the gap between us, connecting our lips in a sweet and passionate kiss. 

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams  @the-fuck-up-of-today  @slashersdream  @chiefwombathoagiepizza  @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01