#(ive gotten past it since but im still at a hard part of the game >:( IVE GOT NOO HEALING ITEMS.) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

footygirl114 · 2 years ago

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Protectora (Mapi Leon x Reader)

Highly recommend reading part 1 (Protective) to understand the back story! I had a new friend tell me that they have these imagines read out loud to them during work, so it had to be long enough for that, but it took off on its own :)

After months of living in Alexia’s spare bedroom you finally decided it was time to look for your own place. Not that you didn’t love Alexia, and living with her was great. You knew that you would never be able to regain your independence if you didn’t move it. It also was very hard to pursue any relationship with Mapi if you both had her teammates around all the time.

Its not say you both never got any alone time, but you were still holding back after the way your last relationship ended. You had been doing better about feeling like a victim, and letting your old friends get into your head. You still had your moments, they were better because you would call Mapi and she never hesitated to listen to you and hold you when you cried.

Both her and Alexia were your rocks and you owed them a-lot. They both never wanted anything in return, they were happy to see you be happy. You had also gotten very close with most of the team, you were like an extra teammate without having to be on the field with them. Only Alexia, Jenni, and Leila (who was Mapi’s roommate) knew that you and Mapi had a thing. They were also the only ones who knew about your past.

You had explained away the club incident as bad blood and they never pushed. They also never took you back to that club but you were out with the team for every celebration. You had also gone to a lot more games and were excited because today they would be able to win the league and get the trophy and you would be there to celebrate.

You were sat with Alba at the game so you both were able to talk about the players freely, since you both knew them well. Watching them cruise to a 5-0 win was awesome and the atmosphere was amazing. You stood there watching them celebrate and you were thinking about how glad you were that you ended up in Barcelona.

After they had received their trophy and medals the team started to make their rounds. Alexia’s first stop was to see you and Alba, she came over and gave you both big hugs. You caught Mapi’s eye over Alexia’s shoulders and she started to make her way over as well.

She crushed you in a hug over the railing and you whispered in her ear “Im so happy for you”

She turned and pressed a kiss to your cheek and pulled back and asked “Will you come celebrate with us tonight?”

“Excuse me I am right here, I thought I was your favourite Maps” Alba said with a push to Mapi’s shoulder.

Mapi leans over to press a kiss to Alba’s cheek but she keeps her hand on your arm holding tight to your forearm “Sorry Albs, you’ve been replaced, but you can still come party with us tonight” Mapi tells her.

Alba rolls her eyes at this but still has a smile on her face as she says “I guess I can understand, Y/N is my favourite too.”

At this Alexia gets involved with a “hey, I’m your sister! I thought I was your favourite”

Alba laughs at the outrageous look on her sisters face but says “you have a million fans Ale, sorry Im not one of them”

All three of you laugh at the pout on Alexia’s face as she sulks away.

Mapi turns back to you and asks sweetly “I brought my stuff for tonight to the game, are you okay if I come back to yours with Ale to get ready?”

“Of course, I cant wait. I know I’ll barley get to see you all night based on your teammates” you tell her with a laugh.

“Perfect, I'll see you soon then” she says but cant help leaning in and pressing about kiss to your cheek.

You hold her there as you whisper in her ear “You looked hot out there” and you pull back to see the blush on her face. “go sign some autographs Maps” you tell her with a shove away.

She’s still blushing as she turns away from you, you hear Alba say beside you “wow, Ive never seen her blush like a school girl before” you cant help but laugh.

***

You had your own bathroom at Alexia’s place and thank god you did. When you thought it would just be Mapi coming by before you all went out you were wrong. It seems like half the team showed up at Ale’s place to get ready. It was madness and you had hidden in your room when they started to yell and cheer about the game.

You were in your bathroom getting ready when there was a knock on your door, and then Mapi’s head stuck through the opening. “I come in peace” she says

You wave her in and she closes the door and comes to lean on the counter beside where you are putting your make up on. She just stands there in silence watching you when you ask “what are you doing?”

“watching you” she responds softly “you are beautiful you know”

You blush and cant meet her eyes, you just finish putting on your make up.

She waits till you are done then reaches over and tugs you to stand in front of her, she puts her knuckle under your chin and you look up into her eyes as she says “Im serious Y/N, I know you haven’t had the best experiences in the past, but I want to do this right. I want to treat you like the queen you deserve to be and that starts with me taking you out on a date. If you will let me?”

You look deep into her eyes and you know that she was not going to do anything to hurt you. “I would love to go on a date with you” you tell her and lean forward and place your lips on hers.

She gives in but doesn’t let you deepen the kiss, she pulls back and says “I'm serious Y/N, I need to do this right for you, let me take you out on a proper date first. Then maybe you’ll get a goodnight kiss and an offer for a second date”

You look up at her with tears in the corners of your eyes and you respond “Thank you”

“You deserve the world, let me try to give it to you” she says with a smile, and she pulls you in for a hug. You linger in the comfort you have found in her embrace.

It only lasts so long before you can hear the crowd in the living room yelling both your names. You pull back and grab her hand to yank her out of the room and into the crowd of the living room.

Its less than a week later that you are standing in your room trying to figure out what to wear on your date, she was going to be there in half hour and you may be panicking slightly. You are staring into your closet when Alexia comes in and hops on to your bed. She sits there staring at the disaster of a room and asks “what’s going on Y/n?”

You turn and look at her as you say in a rush “You cant say anything, but Mapi is taking me on a date and I have nothing to wear”

She sits there staring at you.

“well are you going to help me?” you ask her, with your hands on your hips.

She shakes her head and says “you told me not to say anything!”

At her response you grab the nearest thing to you, which is a mini soccer ball, and throw it at her.

“hey, that could have hurt” she whines as she’s now playing with the ball.

You stare at her with an incredulous look as you say “seriously? You play with one all day everyday”

“Fair, but anyway why are you so worried about this? I thought you and Mapi have been having a thing for months?” she asks confused.

“She’s been super patient with me, you know I have been struggling. She’s been there for me, but this is the first time we're going on an actual date. She says she wants to treat me right” you can feel the tears fall down your cheeks as you continue “Ale, I don’t know if I can open myself up again, Im so worried that she is going to see that I’m not enough and that I’m broken”

Alexia had immediately gotten up and wrapped you in a hug when you started crying, she lets you cry for a minute. When she pulls back she places her hands on your upper arms and says “Y/N you had something terrible happen to you, but that does not define you. If anything I see you as stronger because of it. You were able to get out of that situation and do something about it so he cannot hurt anyone else. I’ve watched you these last few months come back to being the cousin I know and love. I think Mapi has helped you with that, and I think you’d regret it if you didn’t give her the chance”

You pull her into another hug and bury your head in her neck, although you were older, she’s always been taller and wiser. “thank you for having my back” you tell her.

“If you don’t feel ready you know she’s going to wait for you” she reminds you gently.

You shake your head and say “when I’m with her she makes me forget the doubts, she makes me feel like me again”

“Okay” she says with a smile “Lets get you ready then”

About 20 minutes later you hear the knock on the door, you look at Alexia with wide eyes since you aren’t ready yet. She laughs at you and says “I will go distract her, but hurry up”

A few minutes later you walk out to Ale and Mapi both standing around tv watching the highlights from their game last week. You roll your eyes at them and say “seriously how many times are you going to watch this?”

Alexia doesn’t look over but she says “as many as I want”

Mapi turned to you when she heard you voice, she makes her way slowly toward you while taking in your appearance. You definitely owe Ale for convincing you to wear the sundress. She steps up to you and grabs your hands and says “Wow eres tan hermosa.”

You blush under her praise but respond with “thank you” and a kiss on her cheek.

“Okay both of you get out of here before I have to bleach my eyes from this mushy fest” Alexia chimes in from the back.

Mapi doesn’t look away from you but turns her body to give Alexia the finger. She then says to you “Lets go Hermosa, we have reservations to make”

***

She takes you to an expensive sushi place for dinner, she remembers you mentioning that you hated living in Madrid because the sushi was never as fresh. You mentioned it in passing, but the fact that she was listening and remembers makes your heart full. You had an amazing meal, where you both got so caught up in talking that you missed the clean up crewing around you. You noticed when they started putting up chairs on tables that it was almost midnight.

You both apologised to the staff and left. She drove you back home and walked you up to your door.

“thank you for tonight, I had an amazing time” you tell her with a small smile.

She steps into you and places her hands on your waist as she says “Me too, and for the record incase I didn’t mention it already, you look amazing.”

You blush but respond by leaning into her, putting your arms around her neck and pressing your lips to hers. She responds by deepening the kiss and pressing your back into the door behind you. You down know how long you both stood there making out against your door, but a door slam from down the hall breaks you apart.

You look at her with the kiss swollen lips, you reach your hand up to run your thumb along her bottom lip. Her eyes have darkened as she bites your thumb playfully.

You laugh at her antics and ask “So when will you let me take you out now?”

“No, I will be taking you out next” she argues back.

You know this will go on, so you give in and say “Fine you win, as long as I get another goodnight kiss”

She leans in and presses her lips to yours again, this time much gentler, and slower. She pulls back and says “Buenas noches hermosa.” She waits for you to unlock the door.

As you go to close the door you look back at her and say “Goodnight babe”

***

The next month passes in a blur of dates with Mapi, you cant believe you have found someone who treats you like a literal princess. She refuses to let you open any doors, she’s constantly bringing you coffee when you are stuck on long work calls, she will text you goodnight every night and good morning every morning. She is like a dream.

The week before she asked if you were her offical girlfriend, of course you said you were. She then asked if you were comfortable being on instagram, and that you could say no if you weren’t. You told her that you didn’t use any social media, but she was fine to post you, just maybe not of your face.

Her next instagram post was a picture of you and her hugging after the championship winning game, you had your head buried in her neck so you couldn’t see your face in the picture. She captioned it as ‘Mi amor’ she told you she wanted fans to know that she was taken so they would stop asking her if she was.

The team knew of you two dating but they were all confused since they thought you already were dating but keeping it a secret. You just laughed and finally told the team your story and why you moved to Barcelona. They all were behind you if you wanted to go and fight your ex and ex friends, but you talked them out of it.

It was the week of the champions league final, and you could feel the excitement and tension in the team, Alexia had invited everyone over to have a team dinner and celebration before they buckled down and got serious about no drinking before the final.

You had been in the kitchen helping prep food for the meal when your phone rang, you didn’t recognise the number, but you had clients sometimes call for freelance work so you answered it. “This is a collect call from an inmate at the Madrid correctional facility, Do you accept this call?”

You panicked and dropped your phone, Alexia was in the kitchen with you and she turned when she heard the drop and said “what is it?”

You shook your head and couldn’t answer her. You just gestured to the phone as you sunk to your butt on the floor, you wrapped your arms around your knees.

She stepped forward and picked up the phone and heard the message “No I don’t accept, lose my number” she said and hung up the phone. She then crouched by you and says “Y/N, he’s still in prison your safe here”

At this point the front door opens, and you can hear your girlfriend and Jenni talking as they enter the apartment. As soon as Mapi sees you on the floor she is on her knees beside you. She places her hand on the back of your neck, and the other on your hand. “What happened hermosa?” she asks you.

You shake your head, but still haven’t looked up from your feet. You do reach out and grab her hand and squeeze so she doesn’t leave you.

“She just had a call from the prison asking if she’d take a call from an inmate” Alexia informs her.

“That bastard” you hear from Jenni

“Y/N I need you to look at me with those beautiful eyes” Mapi tells you.

You take a deep breath and look up at her.

“there you are hermosa” she says, she reaches out and wipes the tears from under your eyes “You are so much better than him, don’t let him take your happiness from you. He is where he belongs” she tells you in a strong voice.

You hear what she’s saying but it still his voice in the back of your head, you can feel the tears still sliding down your cheeks.

“Y/N, remember you are safe here we all have you, he is not going to ever hurt you again” Alexia tries this time, and you can hear other players agreeing.

You look up and see half the team gathered around the kitchen, all looking ready to murder him. You turn to Mapi again and see the protectiveness in her eyes and you know you are safe. “thank you” you say to everyone but you squeeze Mapi’s hand so she knows you also mean her.

Mapi leans in and presses a kiss to your forehead and says “come on, let's get you cleaned up. In the meantime you idiotas can start the party!”

She leads you to your bathroom, where she guides you with hands on your hips to sit on the counter. She steps in-between your legs and grabs a wipe from the counter to wipe your tears.

As you sit there and she cleans you up, it reminds you of the first time she did this for you. It was almost 8 months ago and she’s still treating you the exact same way she did when you first met. You stare at her as she takes her time and gently cleans your tears. You reach up grab her hands and pull them down to hold in front of your chest as you look up into her eyes you say “I love you Mapi”

She looks down at you and says “I love you too” and presses her lips to yours.

You feel how full your heart is, but you cant stop smiling so your forced to pull back from the kiss. She also has the biggest smile on her face as you both sit there smiling at each other like fools. Until there’s a bang on the door and you hear Leila yell out “you fools have 10 seconds to come out before I come in there”

You both know she’s serious so you step down grab your girlfriends hand and guide her back out to the party with her teammates.

***

You get to experience the final in Turin, and you get to watch your girl become a champions league winner. You and Alba definitely lost your voices with how much cheering you did. When the game is over you breath a sigh of relief, you almost lost it when they went down 3-0, but they fought back and won it 4-3 in injury time.

After all the medals and celebrations on field the players make their way over to the family section, like last time Alexia is there first and gives you all big hugs. But your eyes are locked on you love. When she makes her way to you, you don’t think twice about it and you pull her into you and press your lips to hers.

When you pull back a few moments later you say “I am so proud of you baby”

“thank you mi amor, thank you for being here” she says and pulls you back into her arms.

You turn to her ear and say “I love you so much”

“Te amo mi amor” she says back.

You both bask in the moment not realising that your kiss and embrace will be posted online for the world to see, there would be more pictures brought out of you and now people know exactly who she is dating.

***

It's a week later, you are out with Mapi at a cafe in your neighbourhood. You had gone out the night before and ended up back at your place where you both celebrated into the night. After a night of little sleep, you decided to go for a walk to get coffee and breakfast.

You were sitting out on the patio outside the restaurant waiting for you meals, talking about the upcoming off season. It's then that you feel like someone’s watching you.

You look around but don’t see anyone looking or suspicious, so you chalk it up to them probably looking at your footy star girlfriend not you.

***

A few days later you are at the supermarket picking up some groceries when you feel the same feeling again, of someone watching you.

You look around and don’t see anyone, but you know there’s something wrong. You pull out your phone and you call Mapi, but you knew she was at a physic session so her phone went straight to voicemail. You then call Alexia, who picks up and you can tell she’s running.

“Ale! where are you?” you ask quickly.

“out for a run, what’s wrong?” she responds

You think about how to say this “I'm at the store, and I can feel someone watching me. It's not the first time.”

She pauses “okay, well who is it? can you see anyone?”

“No, but it doesn’t feel right Ale” you tell her.

“Okay, checkout and head home. I’m 5 minutes from the store so I'll catch up to you on the walk. Just go the normal way” she tells you.

You agree and proceed with her plan. You keep looking over your shoulder. As you get closer to home you start to feel more comfortable.

You look down as your phone rang, you saw it was Mapi. You picked it up with a “hi my love”

“Hola Hermosa, is everything alright? you don’t normally call when you know I’m at physio” she asks right away.

“Yeah, I think I freaked out over nothing, I thought someone was following me” you tell her.

“Y/N, funny running into you here” you hear said behind you, you turn and are face to face with your ex.

You hear Mapi in your ear asking what’s wrong, and who that voice was. But you freeze. How is he here right now is running through your head.

“Don’t do anything stupid” he says as he flashes you a knife and take a step closer. “Hang up the phone now” you do as he asks. He grabs your phone and tosses it aside.

You look around and don’t see anyone near you for help, you channel your inner calm as you know you have to stay calm for when Alexia can get here. “what do you want?”

He laughs “You know what I want. You are mine. You think you can try to put me in jail then move on with some girl and think you won’t be punished?”

As he's speaking he’s taking steps closer to you, you are baking up until you hit a wall and he’s able to push you right against it. He places his forearm across your neck to gold you in place.

“You’ve had your fun” he hisses, “its time for you to come home and clean up the mess you made. No one believes you, thats why they let me out of prison. They know you are a liar. As soon as you fix this we can go back to our happy life” he says.

You reach to grab his arm to stop the knife from being pushed towards you when he says “stop fighting me. If you get lucky and get away your little girlfriend will be next. She won’t know what’s coming for her if you try to run.”

You stop fighting and try to imagine your lovers face and know you need to do anything you can to protect her. “Okay I’ll stop, just don’t hurt her please” you plead with him.

“Come with me now, back to Madrid quietly and I won’t hurt her” he tells you with a smile.

You look at him and know you need to agree “Fine, I’ll come, but promise me you won’t hurt her”

“SHE DOESN'T MATTER! FORGET ABOUT HER NOW! You are mine, she was just keeping your bed warm for me” He starts to lose it on you.

“Okay, Okay, I’m done with her, take me back to Madrid” you say.

It as this moment he relaxes slightly knowing you are coming willingly, You have a half second moment of hesitation but you realise now is your chance. You swing hard with your knee and get him in the family jewels, you then crush you palm into his nose as he reacts to the first hit. You shake off his grasp and dart back out onto the main road.

As you turn the corner you see Alexia, and 2 police officers looking for you. She approaches you and you turn to the cops and say “He’s down there please get him” and you collapse in Alexia’s arms.

“Are you alright Y/N?” is the first thing she asks you.

You shake you head and ask “how did you know?”

At this moment the police officers walk back out with him in handcuffs as he sees you he yells “You bitch! How DARE you! I will find you and kill you and that bitch”

The officers who have him in handcuffs guide him to the back of their cruiser and on his way in they may not protect his head on the car when he’s guided down.

You look over at Alexia and know this may finally be over. Another cruiser has arrived at this point and they start to take your statement. The officers tell you that you’ll need to come to the station to get everything settled. You and Alexia both head to the police station.

Mapi was going out of her mind, once the phone call with you dropped she had a feeling something was wrong. She called you, called Alexia and couldn’t get through to either of you.

She called Jenni, who had no idea but offered to meet Mapi at yours and Alexia’s place to find out.

Mapi and Jenni sat on your front steps for an hour waiting to hear from either of you. When Alexia finally called asking if you could pick them up at the police station, they both jumped in the car and were there in no time.

You had given your statements and answered all the questions the police had for you. You couldn’t believe you were here again. The only upside was Alexia was by your side the whole time.

You had found out that once you and hung up with Alexia about someone one following you, Alba had called her. She called cause she saw a news story about a prisoner escaping from the Madrid prison, and it was your ex. As soon as she heard that, she knew that you weren’t being paranoid and that she needed to act quickly. She saw the police cruiser parked on the road so she approached and told them the story. They all reacted quickly and found you when you had come out of the alley.

You couldn’t believe that he escaped, and then tried to tell you that he was let out. You now know that he has been charged with even more crimes and would spend the rest of his life behind bars at a maximum security prison.

You were definitely relieved, but also worried about what people would think about you. You knew you had baggage before but this was even more to add to it.

When you were done with the police, Alexia told you she organised a ride to get home. You followed her out of the police station and saw you love and Jenni leaning against the car waiting to pick you both up. When Mapi saw you she immediately stepped towards you but stopped about a foot away and asked “Mi amor, Can I hug you?”

You melted at her asking for consent after all you had been through, you threw your self into her arms and whispered in her ear “I love you so much Mapi”

“I love you too hermosa” she said back to you without hesitation.

You could feel it right then and there, everything was going to be okay as long as you had this amazing woman on your team.

#woso imagine #woso x reader #woso #mapi leon #mapi leon x reader #mapi leon imagine #espwnt x reader

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imagines4thefandoms · 4 years ago

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Bucky Jr.

so i was planning on writing a small one shot based off of “Ive been watching you” by Rodney Atkins but it grew into a 5K+ imagine.

Takes place during/after endgame so don’t read if you haven’t seen it but it you haven’t are you living under a rock? all of the details based on the movie were written based off memory so if the dialog is a bit off its because i haven’t seen the movie in a while.

word count: 5k+ like i said i got carried away.

Bucky Barnes x reader, Steve x platonic! reader

y/n found out she was pregnant three months after they lost to thanos i think you can imagine how this story goes based off the ending of the movie and the song i based this story off of.

You honestly never thought that you could get Bucky after you found out that Thanos destroyed the stones. You did everything you could to try and get him back: going to the sanctum to see if there was a spell, pray, hell you even thought you would try to sell your soul. You even looked into the multiverse theory but nothing worked. Three months after half the universe turned to dust you found out that you were pregnant. The thought of having the baby without Bucky there, hurt.

Steve knew something was wrong when he hadn’t heard from you for a couple of days. He drove over to the house that you and Bucky had gotten. The only people who knew about the house was you, Bucky and Steve. And because Steve was Steve, he had gotten a spare key, so when he pulled up to the house he just walked right in.

Steve called out for you but you were too deep into your depression to hear him. You didn’t know that her was here til there was a knock on the bedroom door. You got out of bed so fast cause you thought that Bucky was back.

“Buck,” you asked opening the door.

Your smile fell when you saw that it was just Steve. You had forgotten that Steve knew about the house. Steve game you a soft smile because he knew how hard you were taking the loss. You left the door open and climbed back in into the bed. Steve walked over and sat by your feet.

“He’s not coming back is he,” you asked softly.

“I don’t think so,” he replied.

“I can’t do this without him Steve.”

“Do what?”

You reached into your night stand, grabbed the positive pregnancy test and handed it to Steve. He looked at the text then back at you.

“Did he know,” he asked placing the text on the nightstand.

“No. I didn’t know til last week. Steve I can’t do this alone.”

“(Y/n) you will not be doing it alone. I will be here for you,” he told you pulling the covers off. “Now come on. Time for you to get up.”

“No,” you said taking your pillow and covering your face with it.

“As godfather and favorite uncle it is my duty to get you to get out of bed.”

“Bold of you to assume you're the godfather,” you teased.

~five years later~

Ever since then Steve has been there for you every step go the way. He went to the doctor’s appointments, he helped you decorate the nursery, he even helped you pick the perfect name when you found out it was a boy: James Buchanan Barnes Jr.

Steve moved into the house, Bucky made sure that there was a spare room for Steve, to help you with the long nights after James was born. Every time he woke up to chance a dirty diaper, you would complain and tell him that you got it but he would reply with his same cheesy joke, “I’ve slept for 70 years.”

Steve was there for each step of James’ life. His first word: Steve, well it was te. His first steps, his first day of school. Steve even taught him how to ride a bike. He was like a dad to James, but he never took the role of dad. Every night before bed Steve would tell James stories of Bucky and growing up the two of you made sure that James knew about his father.

“Is daddy ever going to come back,” James asked Steve.

“I don’t think so,” Steve told James sadly.

“Mommy doesn’t talk about what happened to daddy. Can you tell me uncle te,” your son asked.

“Well you know how your parents and I are avengers?”

“Yea.”

“Well there was a bad guy that wanted to wipe out half the universe, so us and the rest of the avengers went to stop him. But we didn’t win so he wiped out half the universe and your daddy was one of those people who got wiped away.” Steve explained.

“Oh you mean the blip.”

“Yea.”

“I wish I met him,” James said pulling his covers up to his chin.

“Me too bud,” Steve tucking him in.

“Uncle te.”

“Yes buck,” Steve responded using the nick he called Buck. He only calls James that when you’re not around as to night hurt your feelings.

“Do you think daddy would like me?”

“I know your daddy would love you,” Steve assured him as he kissed if forehead.

James grabbed the photo of Bucky that you put of his nightstand and held it against his chest. Steve turned off the lights then left his room. Steve stopped when he saw you standing outside James’ room.

“He wanted to know,” he started to say ready to explain why he told James what he told him.

“He’s old enough to know. Im just glad you told him and not me. I would have broken down.”

Steve pulled you in to a hug. You pushed away from him and gave him a small smile letting him know that you appreciated the hug. Steve left to go to bed while you went to the living room and sat on the couch. You grabbed the photo book off the coffee table full of pictures of you and Bucky and just looked at them til you fell asleep.

The next morning you woke up from James pulling your eyelids open. Steve tried to stop him before he woke you up but he was a little too late.

“Sorry I tried to stop him,” Steve said handing you his coffee.

“But mommy had to wake up cause we are going to see Aunt Nat,” James said sitting down at the table eating his breakfast.

After finishing half the cup you got up and went to kiss James’ head. “Your right how silly of me to sleep.”

You finished the coffee and handed the empty up of Steve on your way to your room to get dressed. Going to your closet, you grabbed one of Bucky’s shirts and a pair of jeans. As soon as you finished getting ready for the day there was a little knock at the door.

“Mommy hurry up. I want to see Aunt Nat,”

You opened the door and ruffled his hair as you walked past him. “It that because she shows you all of the old weapons at the compound,” you asked as you grabbed the toast that Steve had made for you.

James stoped in his tracks and looked at you and Steve. “How did you know. It’s supposed to be a secret,” he asked.

“Thats because your mom knows everything,” Steve replied.

“Nu uh, Mommy what’s 12 x 12,” James asked crossing his hands over his chest and tilting his head a little.

“144,” you answered him.

James went over to Steve and held is hand out for Steve’s phone. He pulled it from his pocket and opened the calculator app. He checked your answer and looked up at you with shock and awe.

“Wow mommy does know everything,” he replied handing Steve back is phone.

After ten minutes and James running back to his room to grab his teddy bear Sarge, which he dressed to look like Bucky, the three of you left for the compound. While in the car, James wouldn’t sit still cause he was too excited to see Natasha.

“James, pleas stop kicking my seat,” You asked him.

“Im just too excited,” he replied using his hands to emphasize his statement. “Can we listen to the song?”

“What song it that buddy,” Steve asked looking to James in the rearview mirror.

“Mommy knows the song.”

Steve looked over at you from the driver seat and you smirked at him while grabbing your phone and finding the video. James quickly calmed down once he knew you were going to put the song on.

“Uncle te, you can sing it too,” He said hold Sarge tight in anticipation.

“I might not know the song,” Steve replied.

“Oh you know it,” you smirked.

The song started to play and James pretended to march in place while in his car seat.

Who’s strong and brave to save the American way

“Not all of use can storm a beach or drive a tank. But there is still a way for all of us can fight” James spoke.

Who vows to fight like a man for what’s right night and day

“Series E defense bonds, each one you buy is a bullet in the barrel of your best guy’s gun”

Who will complain door to door for America

Carry the flag shore to shore for America

From Hoboken to Spokane

The Star Spangled Man with a Plan

“How do you know that,” Steve asked James and you.

“Mommy found it. It’s my favorite,” James replied.

Steve looked over at you and just shook his head. You noticed how red his face was and you just turned it up a little. The entire ride James spoke Steve’s part. After the second go around James convinced Steve to do it with him.

You couldn’t tell who was more happy to see the compound James, to see Nat, or Steve, so you could stop playing his song. As soon as the car came to a stop James unbuckled and got out of the car. Natasha walked out of the compound and held her arms open for James.

“Aunt Nat,” James yelled running into her arms.

“Hey JJ.”

After they went inside you didn’t really see either til lunch time. And since you didn’t hear an explosion you didn’t worry. James was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while nat was talking with Carol, Okoye, Rocket, and Rhodey.

After everyone hung up nat teared up a little because of Clint and James noticed. He grabbed Sarge who was in the chair next to him and handed him to her. “Here Aunt Nat, Sarge makes me feel better when I am sad.” James then went back to eating his sandwich while Steve and Nat talked a little. Then you noticed that someone was at the gate.

“Is that Scott,” you asked.

“How old is that,” Steve asked.

“Its live.”

“James stay here,” you told him as the three of you ran to see if Scott was really back.

The four of you came back to the room and James just looked at confusion. Scott explained how he was here and his plan to get everyone back. You, Nat and Steve looked at each other while Scott sat next to James and ate Natasha’s peanut butter sandwich.

“Hi,” James said pushing a glass of milk to Scott.

“Hey,” Scott replied with a questioning look.

“My name is James Buchanan Barnes Jr.,” James introduced himself. “Wait are you Antman?”

“Yes I am.’

“You are so cool.”

“Thanks kid,” Scott thanked him and finished the sandwich. “I knew your dad.”

“Really, were you friends or did he try to beat you up when Hydra was hurting him?”

“Friends, well I helped him when he was in trouble,” Scott explained.

James nodded his head and thanked Scott for helping his dad, then continued to eat his sandwich. Scott finished his milk then walked over to you and motioned back to James.

“Cute kid.”

~time skip~

After the meeting with BruceHulk, you and Steve knew of the only person who might be able to help. James sat in the middle between you and Scott one the ride up to Tony’s cabin. The entire ride James and Scott were talking about Antman things. Once we got to the cabin James’ fascination with Scott disappeared. All he want to do was play with Morgan. He ran past Tony and gave Morgan a hug.

“Hi Morgan,” James said after their hug.

“James you came to play,” Morgan asked James nodded his head and they ran off to play.

“Hello to you too,” Tony called out to your son.

“Sorry. Hi uncle Tony,” James called out.

Steve, Nat, Scott and you talked to Tony and explained what the plan was. Tony didn’t agree with the plan and kept saying that it wouldn’t work. Morgan and James ran inside. Then Morgan ran back out to “save” Tony. He invited you to stay for lunch which you accepted and went in to see James helping pepper set up the table.

“Aunt pep, I need one more fork,” James said looking at the table counting the plates.

“Here,” she said holding one out for him.

He put the fork in its place and then ran to whisper something in Morgan’s ear. She agreed to whatever he said. They went into the kitchen and grabbed a towel and held it over their arms. James opened his mouth then closed it and went over to pepper. He tapped her leg and motioned for her to bend over so he could whisper in her ear. She whispered something back then came back to stand next to Morgan.

“Lunch will be ready in three minutes,” James said.

“Please wait to be seated,” Morgan stated.

They both came over to Steve and asked for his name. After he gave it name they check the “list” on Morgan’s hand and both nodded their heads.

“Right his way, Mr. Rodgers,” James said leading Steve to his seat.

They did this for everyone and then helped hand out the food to everyone. After lunch the kids played a little while longer but then it was time to leave. You had to figure out time travel without the help of Tony.

“Bye Morgan,” James said sadly.

“Bye James,” Morgan replied equally sad.

The entire time you guys where trying to perfect time travel James was standing next to Bruce wearing a lab coat that was too big and hold a clip board holding some of his drawings. You didn’t tell him why you guys were building a time machine because you didn’t want to get his hopes up.

After all the mishaps with Scott you walked over to James and asked for his scientific opinion on what you were doing wrong. He replied with ‘maybe the clock is broken’. Steve went outside for fresh air while you tried to help Bruce solve this. You were surprised when you saw Steve come back inside with not only his shield but also Tony.

“Let me guess, you were messing around and cracked time travel,” you asked throwing your hands in the air.

“Yes,” Tony said walking over to bruce.

“Wow, is that the shield,” James asked running over to Steve and ran his fingers on the vibranium disk. “Its beautiful.”

“Hold it,” Steve said handing it too James.

His eye lit up and he ran around pretending to be Captain America. After Tony explained how he cracked time travel the team split up to get more people to help with the mission. Tony got Rhodes, Nat got Clint, once rocket and Nebula got back to earth bruce and rocket went to get Thor. You called Pepper and asked her to watch James while you completed the mission and she agreed to so you and Steve brought him back to Tony’s cabin.

Once you pulled up you and Steve looked at each other and decided that now was the time to explain everything to him. Before he opened the door you told him that you needed to talk.

“Do you know why your staying with Morgan and aunt Pep for a couple hours,” you asked him.

“Cause you have a mission,” he asked.

“Yes but do you know what the mission is,” Steve asked him.

“No its top secret. Constitutional.”

“confidential,” you corrected him. “The mission is to bring back daddy and everyone who got blipped away,”

“Your going to save daddy,” James asked.

“Yes.”

“I want to help,” he exclaimed.

“I know you do bud but it's too dangerous. And we need you to be safe. Your dad would want you to be safe,” Steve stated to talk him down.

“Fine but you will call me right after.”

“Yes.”

“Ok, be safe and save daddy,” James said kissing you and Steve on the cheek before he got out of the car and ran too Morgan.

Pepper waved to you to let you know everything would be okay then you and Steve drove back to the compound. Once you two got back, everyone was in a room talking about the stones and when the best time to get them was. It was decided that New York 2012 would be the best time to get the mind, space and time stone, 2013 Asgard would be the best time to get the reality stone, and 2014 Space would be the best time to get the soul and power stone. The teams were Steve, bruce, Tony and Scott would go to 2012, Thor and rocket would get the reality stone, nebula and Rhodes would get the power, while you Clint and Natasha would get the soul stone.

Everyone suited up and we all wished everyone good luck on their missions to receive the stones. You were standing next to Steve and the next thing you knew you where on an alien planet in the year 2014. Rhodes enlarged the Guardians’ ship and flew team soul stone to vormir. There was a long hike to where the stone was supposed to be. The three of you climbed to the top of the twin mountains and where greeted by the Red Skull. It threw you for a loop but decided to focus on getting Bucky back then the head of hydra at least for now. He explained how we were to get the stone and it was along the lines of soul for a soul. So the three of you sat there in defeat.

“There has to be another way,” you said looking between the two former assassins who where having a whole conversation without talking.

“We have to get that stone. What ever it takes,” Nat said and Clint repeated ‘whatever it takes’

They both stood up and then looked confused at each other. Then you realized what their plan was. Nat was going to sacrifice herself for the stone and Clint was going to do the same.

“No way. That is not happening,” you told them.

“Its the only way,” Nat said walking over to you. “Tell JJ I love them. And get everyone back.”

Nat gave you a hug and an electric shock surged through your whole body. The amount of electricity that you got hit with knocked you out and you didn’t wake up it after you go the stone. You woke up next to Clint in some lake.

“No,” you cried when you saw the stone in his hand and Nat no where to be found.

The two of you took a second to gather your emotions then pressed your belt and went back to 2023. You came back to the platform where left on and just dropped to your knees. Steve came over and checked you for any wounds.

“She’s gone,” you cried as you wrapped your arms around him.

Everyone gave Tony the stones so he could build the gauntlet while you went out to the lake. One by one everyone showed up too. There was a small argument over whether or not we gaunt get Nat back with the stones but you and Clint knew you couldn’t. Steve walked over to you and sat down.

“How am I going to tell James that she’s gone,” you asked him.

“You won’t have to do it alone cause we are going to get Buck back and then all three of us will go tell him,” Steve said rubbing your back.

Everyone went back inside to prepare to bring everyone back. Thor really wanted to be the one to snap everyone back but it was decided that Bruce would do it. In his works, “its mostly gamma radiation. I was made to do this.” He put the gauntlet on and snapped his fingers. The power of the stones sort of burned his arms and you ripped the gauntlet off of him while Tony tried to help with the burns.

You couldn’t really tell that it worked but you heard birds. Lots of them. Then a phone started to ring and by the look on Clint’s face you were guessing it was his wife calling and so it worked. You looked at Steve and were about to tell him it worked when the whole compound blew up. The force knocked you out a bit and you woke up later next to Clint. You saw the gauntlet laying a couple feet away so you grabbed it cause there was no was a friend blew you up.

And you were right it turned out to be Thanos from 2014 because the nebula that came back want your nice nebula. You were trying to get out from all the rubble when you heard Steves painful groans. Of course Steve was facing the titan by himself. Once you could breath fresh air you looked out at the wasteland that was once the compound. You saw Steve get up and take a stand against Thanos alone. You were about to run to his side when you heard a faint voice on the comms.

“On your left,” you heard Sam say.

You never thought hearing Sam Wilson’s voice you make you cry but it did. Because if he was back so was Bucky. All around golden circles of sparks emerged and dozens of people stepped out. You made your way to take a stand against Thanos and out the corner of your eye you saw him. You fought the urge to run to him and never let him go. That could wait.

Thanos’s creepy alien army charged at us and we charged at them. You killed a bunch of the dog thingy and eventually found yourself next to Bucky. During a small window of peace you turned to him and jumped in his arms.

“Hey doll,” he said holding you tight.

“God I missed you Buck,” you cried.

“Sorry I was gone so long,” he replied pushing you back and pressing his lips firmly against yours. “You look gorgeous by the way.”

“There is something I really need to tell you Bucky.”

He pulled you close to him and then shot at some aliens behind you. “We are kinda in the middle of a war here doll. Tell me after we win.” He ran off to kill more aliens and you did the same. You were taking a hit but over the comms you heard a plan. To get the stones back before Thanos could use them again. So during the fight there was a game of Hot potato that was being played with the gauntlet. It work for a while but eventually Thanos got the stone. It happened so quickly. He was about to snap his fingers when Tony jumped on him. Thanos threw in aside then snapped his fingers. You closed your eyes to prepare for another loss but nothing happened. Then you looked over at Tony and saw that he had the stones. He snapped his finger and Thanos and the other aliens turned to dust.

You ran over to bucky and jumped in his arms again to celebrate the win but stopped when you noticed that Tony wasn’t getting up. Pepper and Peter when over to him. It didn’t look good. You noticed pepper crying and you knew that he didn’t make it. Everyone took a knee to honor him. The Steve, Thor, and Dr. Strange walked over and helped cover his body and retrieve the stones. You cried into Bucky’s then thought of James. Once Tony’s body was covered and the stones were safely put in a briefcase. You let go on Bucky and ran to Steve.

“James,” you cried.

Pepper walked over to you and you gave her a hug. She told you how Happy was with the kids. You felt bad for only thinking of James while your friend just died. Pepper looked at you and shook her head like she knew what you were thinking.

“Lets go,” Pepper said and you walked over to strange and asked him to do his portal to the cabin.

Bucky was right behind you completely confused on what you were doing. You looked at him and just smiled as you grabbed Steves hand then his and walked the the portal after Pepper. She ran inside but the three of you stayed outside.

“Bucky that thing I wanted to tell you,” you told him.

“I get it doll. Five years is a long time and you didn’t think I would come back,” he said looking at how you were still holding Steve’s hand.

You followed to where he was looking and stepped away from Steve. “No its not that,” you started to explain but were interpreted by James running out of the Cabin.

“Mommy,” he cried running to you. “Uncle Tony.”

“I know,” you dropped to your knees and hugged him.

You didn’t let go til he look over at Steve and he ran out of your arms into his. “Your okay,” James cried.

“Yes buddy. Just a little come cuts but I will be okay,” Steve replied.

You got up and looked over at Bucky was you could tell what he was thinking by the look in his eye. You went to go tell him he was wrong but heard James from behind you.

“You did it. Thats him right,” you son said wiping his tears away.

“Yea. Thats him,” Steve informed him.

James walked over to Bucky and just looked up at him. Bucky knelt down to meet the boy who he thought was yours and Steve’s kid.

“Hey,” Bucky said.

“Hi,” James replied looking at Buck’s face. “You’re taller than I imagined.”

“Yea,” Buck laughed. “Whats your name?”

“James Buchanan Barnes Jr. and this is Sarge,” James said showing Bucky his teddy.

Bucky looked at James then at you. “I thought…”

“You well you were never the sharpest tool,” you cut him off.

“Im glad I get to meet you dad,” James said wrapping his arms around Bucky.

“Me too.”

~time skip~

It has been a couple weeks since Tony and Nat’s funeral and James was taking Nat’s death better than you expected. You were pretty sure he was to busy getting to know Bucky to let her death get to him and you weren’t complaining.

“What happened to your arm. Mommy and uncle Te never told me that story,” James said poking Bucky’s metal arm.

“I lost it when I fell off a train,” Bucky explained.

“That was back in World War 2. How are you still alive? Did you crash a plane into water like uncle te?”

“No but I was frozen like him for a while.”

“When you were getting hurt by hydra.”

“Yes but now I'm all better.”

“Cool will you feel it if I punch your metal arm?”

“No.”

“Awesome. I want a metal arm.”

“Maybe for Christmas,” you replied laughing.

Steve came into the living room from the kitchen with drinks. James yelled something about doing something important and ran out of the room. The three of you sat in the living room and caught up. You told Bucky everything about James and Steve told y’all about his trip to return the stones. James came back into the living room ten minutes later with a huge smile on his face.

“What did you do,” you asked him.

“Nothing,” he replied.

Steve and Bucky looked at each other and just laughed. They mentioned how much James was like Bucky when he was a kid.

“Mommy can i’m hungry,” James told you as he sat next to Bucky.

You got up to go make his something to eat when you noticed black paint on the floor. You looked over at James and saw that his left hand was black with gold lines.

“James what did you do? And please tell me it comes off,” you asked.

James got up and took off his jacket to reveal that he painted his left arm black and gold to match Bucky’s

“Now I really match daddy, see. Same name and same arm,” he replied showing off the slightly wet arm.

You opened you mouth to yell about how there is paint on your floors and probably on the stairs too and how he ruined his clothes and possible the couch with the paint but just closed your mouth and shook your head.

“Now that you are back this is your problem,” you said walking into the kitchen to feet Bucky Jr.

“Did I do something wrong,” James asked looked between Bucky and Steve.

“No buddy, you just made a mess with the paint,” Bucky said pointing to the black paint on the floor.

“Oops,” He replied.

After eating and cleaning the paint, life started to normal. Steve staying til he found an apartment close by which James couldn’t understand why he was leaving. After Steve told him that he could come over and have guy night he decided that Steve could move out. And with Bucky back James basically pushed you aside and preferred his dad. Everything Bucky did James did. Everything Bucky ate James ate, even vegetables.

“James, I have been trying to get you to eat your vegetables for ever and now that your dad is here you love vegetables,” you asked when you saw him finish his carrots.

“No vegetables are gross but I want to be just like daddy and daddy eats vegetables,” he replied making a face over how gross he thought carrots where.

After he got in trouble for painting his arm James decided to do the next best thing and waste all the foil in the house to wrap is arm. You even caught his pretending to be Bucky while he was playing in the back yard.

“What,” Bucky said wrapping his arms around you are you watched James play.

“Red Skull I am the winter soldier and I am here to put an end to you and the rest of hydra,” James said pointing his toy gun and sarge who was wearing a red hat.

“He idolizes you,” you said resting your head against Buck’s shoulder.

“Jealous,” he asked kissing your neck.

“No just annoyed that he is a mini you.”

“Daddy come play,” James called.

Bucky walked outside and pulled you with him. James explain how Bucky would be on his team.

“We are stopping Sarge, he’s the red skull. And im you so you can be… Uncle Te.”

“What about me,” Steve asked waking into the back yard.

“You can be a bad guy with mommy cause she needs a partner,” James said placing Sarge’s red hat on you.

“Why am I the red skull,” you asked slightly offended.

“Cause you get mad a lot and look like him,” James stated like it was a known fact.

Bucky and Steve started laughing while you took the hat off and changed James around to get back at him.

“Daddy, mommy is crazy help me,” James yelled at the top of his lungs which caused Bucky and Steve to laugh more.

Bucky was too busy laughing so James stopped running and took of his jacket to reveal his foil arm and held it out.

“I am Sargent James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th infantry of the US army and I order you to stop chasing me,” he said and crossed his arms.

You stopped and just took in your son’s appearance. “Mommy you look really pretty,” James said with the same smirk Bucky gives you when he is trying to apologize or get himself out of trouble. Yea James was defiantly Bucky Jr.

#bucky x reader #steve x reader #avengers imagines #bucky imagine #endgame

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nico-idc · 4 years ago

Text

random vent because i'm numb rn and feel like it

This is a vent post, ill probably talk about su!cide, self h*rm, eating disorders and depression. I’ll also cuss a lot, and things will not be censored. Also, this may seem insensitive to people experiencing any of this, sorry about that. Dont read this if youre triggered by that.

Also, this is my experience with mental health. Everyone deals with it differently.

So, If anyone doesnt know, I have depression and anxiety. And right now, I’m feeling numb as it’s often described by people with depression. But, numb isn’t a very good description. I can still feel. I’ll still smile if you tell me a joke, or if something funny is on a video. I’ll still cry if there’s something super sad. Emotion is just watered down. I feel it, but not as much as I should. Me and my boyfriend were talking, and i couldnt tell him I loved him. It’s not becuase I dont love him, but I just cant feel much of anything, so I dont want to tell him I loved him. Becuase If i did that, I felt as though I was lying. The funniest thing is, I randomly started crying. Still felt nothing, but hey, I had tears streaming down my face. Who fucking knows why.

I havent been doing to great for a while now, but this is the worst i’ve ever gotten. Ive never felt numb before. I mean, I’ve felt myself starting to go through the motions, but i’ve never gone completely numb before. And before this i’ve had a few mental breakdowns. Hell, I’ve sat in a corner twice in the past month or so doing nothing but sobbing and begging myself not to move so I dont grab something sharp and cut myself. (I did not relapse, don’t worry). and recently I completely broke down over simply eating a cereal bar, got through it, ate it. I’m good now.

Figures. That does seem to be my experience. Oh no, big bad issue one time, then magically I just talk myself out of my bullshit, and im fixed. Ha ha, yet I act like I have all these issues. I mean, I didnt even attempt to starve myself, just thought “oh, friends and family wont let me” and didnt. Had a breakdown about a year later, been fine since. Cut for a few months, went to therapy for a few months, stopped cutting. had a few breakdowns about a year or two later, then was fine. was suicidal for a while, went to therapy for a bit, was happy for months. Had breakdowns every now and then, fine now.

ha ha, first time I say alot of this is online. Figures. I’ve done that a lot too. My boyfriend has found out a bit about my depression through this site. Becuase I cant talk to my boyfriend about my shit, but hey random people on the internet! hear about my problems.

So on another note, I recently found a song that describes part of depression pretty well. It’s called “i’m not dead” by boyinaband. it’s linked below, I’ll copy paste the lyrics, and explain how I relate, and what the lyrics mean to me, becuase why not? (lyrics will be in bold)

youtube

I'm not dead

I'm not fixed, but I'm not giving up yet

Basically, this means that im still here, im still depressed, but I’m still trying to fight depression.

I'm sick of saying that I still don't have anything done

I hate telling friends I'm trying something just to give it up

I never commit to anything, I just say I’ll do something, then decide I dont want to.

I'm still unsure of my emotional state

I'm still incapable of focusing lately

I don't feel like creating

I'm tired of asking Google how to find motivation

I’ve been on break from writing for months now. tried to get back to it, lost concentration. I think this is self explanatory.

I don't think I've ever made

Something that's as good as I'm capable of

Ha, I dont put in enough effort and commitment to make something as good as possible.

I hate not having a reason to look my best

I only ever take care of myself with the intent to show the internet

I mean, I dont try to show the internet, but I only take care of myself when other people will see me.

If what made me successful was an imposed sense of stress then

I am so so glad that I hated myself

The only thing that makes me do things is extreme stress.

I didn't luck into this position

I struggle with decisions

I mean, im not in any high position, but I do struggle with decisions.

I wouldn't be my own friend

I'm too inconsistent

I’m inconsistent as hell. I’m in like 10 group chats, don't talk in any of them for months, then just show up like “hi, havent talked to you all in ages, but hi”.

Without immense pressure nothing ever gets finished

If these words make it to your ears it'll be a fucking miracle.

Yep. I went on whole rant about this on wattpad. Without pressure to do something, I don’t do it.

I'm fortunate to know more good people than most do

I wish I had more friends I could be physically close to

I dont personally have a lot of friends that dont live in my city, so the last line isnt an issue, but I do know a lot of good people”

I'm pretty good at like 20 different skill sets

At the expense of never being great at any one of them

I’m good at quite a few things. Drawing, math, even writing. But im not great at it. I’m average.

I wish this beat hit harder

I wish more syllables rhymed

I know 99 percent of people really don't mind

I dont personally relate to this, seeing as I dont make music.

I think collaborating forced me to finish things

'Cause I was terrified of wasting famous people's time

Oh yeah. Group projects would not get done if i wasnt scared of wasting my partner’s time.

I wish I could focus on what I define priority

I wish I was as grateful as I want to be

Dont really relate to these things

I wish I knew more people who were mentally stable

But if I did,

I wouldn't let them waste their time on me while I'm disabled

Oh yeah. Id love to have a friend who isnt depressed, but I wouldnt let them see that im fucked up becuase i dont wanna drag them down.

I feel alone

I know I'm not

I have a lot of friends, but I still fell alone in this world

I used to talk to lots of people.

Lately I've stopped

They didn't deserve it,

I've been a terrible friend.

But I couldn't bear to let myself become boring to them

I ignore group chats all the time. no reason. Probably shouldnt.

I don't let myself get my hopes up.

I love people who do.

Something good happens? what could go wrong? that is my thought precess.

I never know if what I say I feel is the truth

I have no damn Idea what I think, so its so hard to know what the truth in my head is.

I wish I didn't instinctively try to be less specific

So more people could relate, when they read along with the lyrics.

Not lyrics, but if i write/explain something, I immediately generalize things so its relateable.

I can be happy in the moment

I am not when I reflect

I smile watching youtube, but then I look back and think about how I wasted time.

I distract myself with gaming, waiting to get better

I hate it

Youtube will cure depression right? /s

I wanna do the most good, and prevent the most hurt

But I've gotta put on my own oxygen mask first

This is just an important phrase I try to remember when I’m down. for people who dont do well with metaphors, he’s saying that if you want to help people, you need to help yourself first.

I can't predict what I'll do.

I can never be sure

I am terrified of making promises any more

I can't face my work,

I feel sick from the word

I genuinely believe I'm capable of changing the world

Don’t relate much here, except for the more positive, upbeat tone the song takes on, and i feel that this part, the part above and everything below is dave fighting his depression.

I still think I can get better

I’m holding onto hope.

I still think I can create and get pleasure from it

I hope so, I want my art and writing to improve.

I'll keep aiming to make my emotion and my logic agree

The eternal stuggle. I always try to get the two to line up, it rarely works. I try to use logic more often though.

And become the best version of me

Always trying to improve myself.

I don't want to stop!

There’s alot this could mean. I dont want to stop creating. I dont want to stop fighting. I dont want to stop getting better. I dont want to stop living. I relate to all these things.

I’ll expand on this more later, it’s too late now for me to continue this

#cussing tw #swearing tw #tw suicide mention #tw self harm #tw eating disorder #vent post

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ackermans-freedom-inc · 4 years ago

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Hiya! I was debating on whether or not to ask you this, considering that you're probably busy with valentine and other matchup asks, but here it goes. I was wondering if you can match me up with a AOT male, taller then me (I'm 5'5 lol). If that's possible? Here I go-(I'm sorry if this is long!)

✨I have blue/greenish eyes, and red dyed hair (I put this last, idk know why-)

✨I'm an aquarius and honestly, I truly live up to my sign. I'm a Ambivert cause even though I love hanging out with my friends and get along with them, there are times where I just need to get out and be alone for a bit and just let out everything in me.

✨for my personality, I got a turbulent advocate, INFJ-T (I don't know if that helps-) I'm usually quiet and shy around new people, and keep to myself around them unless they come over and talk to me, or I hear them say something that is an interest of mine then I can break out of my shell and start talking.

✨After speaking up to a person and getting to know them better, I'm a very bubbly person, I try to be kind by treating people the way I want to be treated and only rarely am I angry unless someone really press my buttons. I also use humor to cope with, pretty much everything, and I always try my hardest to make someone laugh, because whenever I hear someone laugh, my heart melts because of it. Idk why it just does.

✨considering my height, and my weight, I'm a chubby girl, thick thighs and all. It took me a long time to love myself and try to accept myself for who I am, since I was bullied quite a bit during my childhood for my weight and other things. However, even though Im starting to love myself, there are times where I become insecure but I usually keep it to myself unless someone makes me blurt it out.

✨speaking of insecure, I have really bad anxiety. Whenever I'm under pressure during a situation I have no idea how to fix, I start to pick at my skin, usually digging my nails into my skin to the point it draws blood. And whenever I'm around a lot of people, like at a store for example, I always feel like their eyes are on me which makes me feel very insecure and I keep my arms around my stomach to try to keep my nerves down. Whenever I feel my anxiety rise, my body start to twitch, especially my hands, so in order to calm it down I start to sketch out a drawing or listen to music to help me calm.

✨I was mentally and physically abused as a child so it takes me a while before I can truly open to someone. I always feel like I'm a burden to people when I speak out about my problems or my feelings, so I tend to keep them to myself. However, there are times where I just can't keep it in anymore, so I just let it all out to someone by either crying or speaking at high speed (pretty much gibberish) and tug really hard at my hair. Because of this, I love it when someone understands me or, even if they don't know what I've exactly been through, they're still there to help and support me no matter what.

✨I usually don't use words or describe my emotions in these types of situations, so I express it to my partner by actions. Such as hugging them tight, or crying in their shoulders. Because I'm always worried I'll say the wrong thing to someone. And whenever I do say something wrong, I apologise to them, but it still lingers in my head for a while before I can come to terms with it.

✨In many situations, I try to use my brain before acting out, but there are times where my emotions get the best of me.

✨I have an immense fear that I'll be forgotten by the people I love, or I lose someone close to me. It didn't bother me back then, but now it's become a big fear of mine.

✨ANYWAY- aside from the "that" stuff, I get really flustered whenever someone compliments me, or even remotely flirts with me. Sure, I flirt back or compliment to someone as well (even if it's cheesy sometimes-) but when it's directed to me, I blush SO hard and smile because Ive never been complimented a lot during my past, so I take compliments to heart a lot of the time.

✨My hobbies are Drawing/Painting, Reading, Writing, Video games, and Hanging out with my friends.

✨Drawing has always been my favorite hobby as long as I can remember. Through out the years, my art style has gotten better, even though I still don't have an officially art style for myself. I especially love to draw or sketch out the people I love, ocs, animals, and mythical creatures. Mostly dragons/wyverns since I've always been entranced by mythology and mythical creatures. Drawing, or sketching in general has helped me a lot with expressing my emotions and my creativity on paper.

✨Animation has always been my biggest aspiration and I'm currently saving up money so I can study in animation.

Anyways, I think imma stop my matchup ask here so I hope all of this information about me helps! Again, I'm sorry if I'm bothering you with this matchup!

Hi Onyx!!!! You are NEVER bothering me!!! Thank you for sending in such a detailed bio for me! I just wanted to say, a lot of how you describe yourself sounds like me! Maybe its a fellow Aquarius thing? You are so so brave to be able to share so much about yourself with me, and I am so very thankful you felt safe to do so! <3 rooting for you and here for you if you need an ear, or shoulder.

Alright, now. I have excluded Levi, Armin, and Connie because I believe those are the ones that are shorter than 5′5.

I think the single thing that made me choose who I did for you was your love for art! I would match you up with....

Jean!

We saw how much of an artist Jean was, and honestly that part stuck with me.

Jean would be a good match for an ambivert such as yourself because I feel like he is a good balance of quiet contemplation and keeping to himself mixed with a very particular personality that can lean towards outgoing and sarcastic.

I feel like Jean would be very respectful of what you wanted, and in time, would get more perceptive towards your needs. Did you agree to go out with your friends but as the day drew closer seemed a little hesitant about going out? He would be willing to be your scapegoat, telling your friends that he had something come up and you couldnt hang out anymore, or that there was some sort of leak or issue he caused and he needed you to stay behind to help with it. Essentially, he would be partner and that friend you call to bail you out of unfortunate situations all rolled up into one!

At first, Jean would be the one who prompts you to talk and share more about yourself, but over time, as you grow more comfortable with him, you’d be the one dominating conversations, and he'd be absolutely fine with it! Just listening to you talk with an occasional hum or comment.

Jean I think would be a mixture of actions and words. He is a little more vocal about sharing his emotions, but not by much. Hes mostly in his head with things and can come off as a little cold, but if you knew how he communicated his love, it would be obvious how much he cares. He does the little, mundane things to make life easier for you rather than profess his feelings all the time. When he notices how you cope with stressful environments, he'd be a great help. He'd gently take your hands and help you unfurl your clenched fist, or lacing your fingers with his to prevent you from picking at em. He would be that rock you need at the store, ushering you into a quiet aisle with an arm around your shoulder, making sure you're okay before resuming the shopping trip, planning out the optimal routes to take in order to minimize time spent in the store.

The two of you would rarely get into arguments, mainly due to the fact that he could never really argue with you, also, you are just...never really angry. He would know better than to push your buttons or pick a fight so its usually pretty smooth sailing.

You and jean’s everyday talk would be cute to listen to, him taking every opportunity to flirt or throw in a cheesy pickup line to make you smile. “good morning! its a beautiful day!”

“morning! You’re right. Gorgeous.” and hes looking straight at you and not at the blue skies smh

Jean might be a little embarrassed or self conscious about his art, but would love to watch you sketch. He would go along with you to the park, or just out to explore new spots, sitting beside you quietly, sometimes laying his head in your lap as you sketch. That would be his ideal lazy afternoon.

Overall, you two would be super cute! Everyone thinks so, but most importantly, the two of you would support each other, each helping the other grow in the best ways!

Valentines Day Event

#valentines day event 2021 #asks #onyx-wyvern #I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS!!!#YOU SENT IN SO MANY DETAILS WOW!! I HOPE I DID EM JUSTICE #matchups!

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anastasiaskarsgard · 5 years ago

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TO THE ANON THAT ASKED FOR A SMUTTY CHEATER BILL STORY HERE YA GO. I INITIALLY DELETED THE REQUEST BECAUSE I DONT CONDONE CHEATING BUT THEN I THOUGHT, ITS FAN FICTION. NO ONE TAKES IT SERIOUSLY AND IVE GOTTEN A FEW REQUESTS FOR THIS SO HERE YA GO.

Here’s part 1: https://anastasiaskarsgard.tumblr.com/post/188138288236/this-is-a-really-involved-request-so-im-breaking

And here is PART 2

Warning!!! Smut 18+ mature content.

As we pulled into the parking lot, everything hit me at once. I had literally witnessed my dog get murdered, the man I thought was perfect was Satan himself, I have no belongings, I don’t know anyone but Randi here. But then I remembered all the good like I was free, I’m not dead, I have the best friend in the whole world, I already found a job and got paid a lot for basically getting to be near the hottest guy ever and there’s photographic evidence, and literally the world is my oyster. I even get to go to Canada! Hayden Christensen lives there! I look over at Randi and can’t help but laugh when I see her sassy face. She is not a fan of feeling sorry for yourself. “Sorry, I’ll stop. They’re happy tears! I swear! I’m so happy I have you, and we’re going on this adventure. I’m just grateful.”

“Wow. Don’t cry Bitch. You’ll fuck up your make up.” my best friend joked.

I chuckled, and gave her a hug, then stood straight out of the car and let her lead the way to see if everyone had gotten a table together in Mortons.

We found everyone taking their seats. I took the closest open seat next to the photographer and Randi sat between Andy and Bill across from us. I didn’t want to look at Bill and have Randi give me shit, so I read the entire menu like 3 times to avoid looking up. We all ordered, and then Andy had the idea for everyone to introduce themselves:

“Ok since everyone is from all over the place, let’s do a fun little ice breaker. I’ll start. My name is Andy, I’m from the beautiful country of Argentina and I’m a Director as I’m sure you all know, let’s be more original, I know! Name your fear! I’m afraid of drowning.”

“My name is Randi, I’m from Kalamazoo Michigan, I’m an artist and I’m afraid of flying.”

“Ok hi everybody! I’m Bill, I’m from Stockholm Sweden, I’m a human and I’m afraid of being alone.”

I giggled like an idiot, froze and looked over at Randi, who was smiling at me, shaking her head. Dammit.

“My name is Barbara and I’m Andy’s sister, and I am afraid of creepy crawly things.”

“I’m Maria from Brazil, I am photographer and I fear bad lighting and flaky models. Thank goodness for Liv appearing like magic and save the day.” She smiled at me warmly and squeezed my hand.

I felt everyone’s eyes on me, and could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I couldn't bear to look at Bill or Randi, so I stared down in my lap and could feel my face heating up. “I’m Liv from Las Vegas, I guess I’m a model for now and I’m afraid of being a failure, velociraptors, roller coasters, centipedes and public speaking.” I chuckled uncomfortably. I ramble when I’m nervous.

“I’m afraid of velociraptors as well,” Bill laughed. “Jurassic Park ruined me as a child.”

Everyone laughed heartily at Bill’s expense but I felt appreciative of him making my ridiculous fear seem more credible and drawing attention away from my obvious nervousness. I snuck a peek at him and he winked at me playfully.

I didn't know what to think of this beautiful man. My initial reaction to him had been negative. He seemed like every other snobby Hollywood type, complete with crazy girl problems, but as the day progressed, he surprised me over and over with how genuine he seemed to be.

As lunch went on, Randi and Maria were talking technical terms, so Bill and I looked at each other and just smiled and shrugged our shoulders. It wasn't like we were being ignored, just everyone except us was wrapped up in their own conversations. I was content with that too, but then an ice cube flew into my cleavage.

My eyes shot open and I observed a very amused Bill trying to contain his laughter but not doing a very good job.

”I promise I’m not an asshole. I have just been trying to get your attention since we got here. So how long you been in LA?” He asked me like i was the most interesting thing he’d ever encountered.

”What time is it? Less than 24 hours.”

His eyes went wide and he choked on his drink a bit, then began to laugh at himself . ”wow, and you already booked a major job? Who is your agent? Are you an actress or just gorgeous... I mean a model.”

”you are super smooth Bill. I’m kidding! Don’t pout you’ll get wrinkles.” I had to give him some shit. “I don’t have an agent because I don’t have any interest in fame at all.”

He looked impressed by that for some reason. ”so what brought you here?”

”Randi is my best friend, and I needed a change of scenery.” I said making sure to avoid eye contact. I knew I was just being paranoid, but I felt like he could look into my soul, with the intensity he was looking at me with. I’m a terrible liar, so I’m convinced if I look at him, he’ll see I’m not being honest. I didn't want to mention the literal hell id escaped to be here.

I could still feel his gaze on me, and I caught Andy looking between us with an unreadable expression. He's a director so he probably can read people really well.

Shit. I’m probably just being my normal neurotic psycho self. No one probably gives two shits about me, and this is all in my head. These people are famous and successful. I’m just another one of the millions of girls that they encounter in LA.

Maria tapped my shoulder. “Hi honey, can you switch seats with your friend? I want to show some my work?”

I smiled and agreed, but the butterflies in my stomach were going crazy as I took my seat by Bill. He was texting so I got my phone out to play a game or two. Suddenly I felt Bill’s leg press up against mine. I looked over at him, but he just continued with his phone, but was clearly smirking. Just then The food arrived and I was famished, so all other thoughts were abandoned.

“Wow! You eat real food!” Andy exclaimed.

“Oh it’s not fair! Liv has always eaten whatever she wants and doesn’t gain a pound.” Randi whined.

I blushed feeling all the attention on myself again. I wanted to fade into my surroundings like a chameleon. “I like to eat.”

I looked at Bill and he was off his phone but I could tell he was watching me as he ate.

“What?” I asked finally, when he didn’t stop looking at me.

“You’re very interesting.” He said.

“How?” I scoffed.

“Well for starters you’re drop dead gorgeous but you don’t like being the center of attention. Am I right?”

“I wouldn’t go with drop dead gorgeous, maybe conventionally attractive. There’s not really anything wrong with me, but there’s nothing to write home to your mother about either.”

He chuckled. “See? There you go again. You’re humble and funny too.”

I could feel my face burning so I excused myself to go use the restroom, but Bill said he’d show me where it was since he needed to smoke and make some calls.

I was fully aware where it was, but agreed and figured I’d let him show me. He turned before we reached the bathroom and he opened a door that appeared to almost blend in to the wall, revealing a very plush, luxurious bathroom with a large vanity.

“Oh my gosh is this like the Secret VIP potty?” I asked. I had always heard about secret lounges and VIP cool stuff so I was ecstatic to actually see one. I probably seemed like such a dork but I didn’t care.

“Something like that.” He said following me inside and locking the door behind him. I turned around to tell him there only appeared to be one toilet, when he took a couple steps and closed the distance between us and kissed me, pinning me against the wall.

He pulled back and looked down into my eyes, “I’ve wanted to do this since I saw you.” He said deepening the kiss again.

I stepped aside to move out from under him and caught my breath. “Your girlfriend though!”

“It’s over with her. It’s been stale a long time” He said as he wrapped his arm around my waist. “Don’t worry, I'm sick of her. I much rather have you. Do you have a boyfriend?” He pulled me against him again and my God the man was so good looking.

“Nope. I’d have kicked you if I did, I’m not a cheater.” I couldn’t believe his lips were on me. I tried to think and get ahold of myself and be rational, but as he kissed down my neck and groped my breasts, it was getting hard to remember why this wasn’t the best idea ever.

“. Listen, you’re very attractive Bill. Like best looking guy I’ve ever seen attractive, and I’m flattered, but we should get back. They’re gonna wonder.”

“This dress is killing me though, and youre so so beautiful.” He groaned lustilly, as he slowly slid my dress’ strap down, continuing his way down, kissing down my throat to my chest. He exposes my breast and looks up to make sure I wasn’t going to object, but when I just bit my lip, he placed his mouth on my nipple, suckling at my breast. He releases it with a popping sound, and slips a hand under my skirt, rubbing me through my panties, as he sucksin a breath through his teeth, before going for my other breast. This motherfucker is gonna kill me. How can one man be so hot and what did I do in a past life to deserve this shit? Seriously universe? How do I carry on knowing his tongue was on my nipple?

He hiked my skirt up to brush his fingertips across my folds. He bit my bottom lip and then pulled his hand out from under my skirt, and sensually tasted his fingers before leading me to the large round cushioned ottoman at the vanity, trying to get me to sit.

“What are you up to? You’re - this is so bad.” I tell him as he pushes me down lightly as he kisses me passionatly.

He looked deep in my eyes. “Please let me taste you and make you feel good. I don’t expect anything from you and I don’t do this type of thing ever, but I’ve honestly never wanted to see what someone tastes like more in my life.”

FUCK. Who in the hell could say no to that?

All I could do is nod, too shocked to fully comprehend that this was really happening.

He got on his knees in front of me and I couldn’t help but admire his gorgeous features. As crazy as it sounds, he had the most beautiful bone structure; severe and angular, yet it was offset by his big green eyes with their long sweeping lashes, luscious plump full lips, and adorable perfect little child-like nose. His hair was silky and thick and he smelled like mint and soap.

I watched as he pulled my underwear off and placed them in his pocket, before leaning me back with one hand, as the other lifted my dress. He bit my inner thigh gently, but still sent a thrill up my spine causing me to visibly shudder.

“I haven’t even started yet,” he smirked up at me cockily, before pressing his mouth to my sex before I had time to reply. I’d had my pussy eaten before, but nothing like this. There was no sign of nervousness or insecurity that some men display when they go down there. Like you can tell they’re not sure what the fuck to do, but Bill was sure of himself and seemed to genuinely love doing it. He was so enthusiastic and it felt so amazing. I never had done something like this in my life, and wouldn’t even kiss on a first date, yet here I am. I was scandalized and aroused, and so close to an orgasm it was shocking.

“You gonna cum for me baby?. I love how you look right now.... Cum on my face.... please?” He pleaded and pushed another finger inside of me. I couldn’t look at him. It was all too much.

I let out a moan as he moved his fingers and tongue in such a combined effort, that I reached out and gripped his hair, pressing his face against me as my release crashed down on me, violently shaking me, and making everything go white, as it wound down. It was seriously one of the most intense orgasms I’ve ever had, and it took me longer than a polite amount of time to realize I was still holding his face, and immediately released him”I’m so sorry, I didn't realize I- .”

“Sshhh.” He said chuckling and came up and kissed me deeply. “Can you taste yourself on me?”

I nodded shyly, looking away to break eye contact. He was so intense and I wasn’t sure what he would want me to do to return the favor.

He put his finger under my chin and pulled my face back over to look in his eyes. “You’re beautiful.”

I looked back at him, waiting to see what he did next. I was surprised he wasn't taking his pants off, but was too shy to try and take them off myself. I really wanted to though, and that surprised me. I wanted him to fuck me and wasn’t going to think about it, just do it. Like Nike.

He stood up and helped me to my feet, and helped smooth my dress out. He pulled me into another kiss and I could feel how excited he was.

“Let me make you feel nice now.” I mentally scolded myself for saying something so not sexy but just looked up at him with my best doe eyed look.

“You’re so cute. Don’t worry about me, just yet. I don’t want a quickie in a bathroom with you, I want like a bed and many. many. hours. I want to impress you.”

“I’m fucking impressed Bill.”

He chuckled and bit his lip, and you could see the wheels turning. “I really want to fuck you but I also don’t wanna be too long and full disclosure, Andy threatened serious bodily harm not to touch you. Said you’re a heartbreaking man eater.”

“Randi advised me to avoid you because you’re a foreign actor that’s too good looking for his own good. You’re obviously a monster.”

We both got a good laugh out of that.

“What’s your phone number?” He asked taking out his phone.

“I don’t currently have one. I need to get one. I lost mine yesterday.”

He looked at me incredulously. “If you don’t want to give me your number it’s ok.”

“No. Take Randi’s number, that’s the phone I was using earlier anyways, that way you can call, cuz I don’t have a pen or anything.”

“How about your email, and then you can send me your number when you get it. Randi might catch on if I call her phone.”

“You’re so smart! You’ll see me in a week on your new movie too.”

“Really? That’s the best news I got all day but if you think I’m waiting a week to be inside you, you’re insane. Now go, just say I went to smoke and make calls if they ask where I am. I’ll give it a couple minutes.”

I gave him my email and walked out the door to go try and act like the hottest fucking thing to ever happen in my life, didn’t just go down. When I turned the corner, I nearly threw up and cane to a screeching halt. I met eyes with the estranged exgirlfriend. I didn’t wanna seem weird so I smiled and sat down to finish my meal, since turning around and running the other direction might bad. I mean as far as I was concerned he was single, so I had no reason to feel guilty of anything. And I didn’t plan on admitting that happened to anyone, so not telling her was totally fine. She tapped on my arm and I cautiously turned to her.

“Did you see Bill by chance?” She asked politely.

“He said he was smoking and making some important calls when he left the table earlier.”

She laughed a little and rolled her eyes, “that man and his cigarettes! I blame Hemlock Grove for turning him into a chainsmoker. He’s probably smoked two or three in a row.”

“All this talk about smoking makes me want one, I’ll go find him. Excuse me ladies.” Andy said, as he quickly walked towards the exit to find Bill.

“He’s probably going to warn Bill that I’m here. We got in a fight earlier and he can be such a brat. Watch when he comes back, he’ll pretend like nothing happened.”

Maybe she didn’t realize he really was done with her. She had a funny accent so I assumed she’s Swedish too. He was probably her only friend out here so I couldn’t help but pity her.

“Between silent treatments and smoking, Bill would be dead by morning.” Randi said with a mischievous wink.

“Oh if you could see his hissy fits, they’re the worst!” She enthused. “Anything in his hands he’ll throw and if it’s something like a sandwich or drinks and won’t hurt you, he’ll throw it on you. But then if I try and ignore him, he’ll lay on me like a big dead weight until I speak.” His girlfriend said, laughing hysterically. Everyone joined in telling stories of past boyfriends that were grown men, having varying degrees of tantrums, but I just sat silently. My ex story wasn’t funny.

Andy and Bill came back and I could feel an anxiety attack creeping up on me.

I looked up and Bill was staring at me and I looked to Randi and she had a puzzled look on her face. In an effort to not give anything away to her, my eyes shot back up to Bill.

Bill looked furious. He seethed animosity and I just looked down at my plate to avoid that glare. I wasn't sure if I was the cause or she was, but I desperately wanted to run out of the place screaming and looked at Randi again pleading with my eyes to go. She seemed to catch on and I tried to keep it together.

His ex got up and rushed over to him. Just as I looked up, she planted a soft kiss on his cheek. My eyes narrowed involuntarily as he glanced over at me, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. His girlfriend grabbed his face and kissed him right on the lips.

I felt like I was going to throw up. Tears threatened to spill but I held them back as I stared at my lap. I kept seeing Bill’s eyes as he looked up at me from between my legs. Flashes of him pinning me to the wall, or oh my fucking god! My underwear are in his pocket!

My pussy is on his face too and he just kissed her.

He seemed so genuine, but he was an actor, what did I expect. Faking Feelings and emotions was how he paid the bills. I couldn’t believe how stupid and guillable I was! He probably got off on this shit. Poor woman. I was exaggerating when I’d said he was a monster but goddammit I was right!!!

”Ok thank you for inviting us and I can't wait to see whoever is going to join us in Toronto, but Liv and I must be off for an important appointment and then packing.” Randi said her goodbyes as I walked around the table and stood beside her, keeping my back to Bill.

”Bye everybody. I had fun” I said Sweetly and then I turned on my heel and walked past Bill without a glance.

”See you two in Toronto.” Bill called after us, and even though I refused to look at him, I could feel his eyes burning into my back as we walked away.

#bill skarsgard #bill skarsgård #bill skarsgard au #bill skarsgard asks #my writing

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missjackil · 6 years ago

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My 14x20 Season Finale Opinion

Moriah

This was absolutely AMAZING!! It ranks in there with the Season 4 and 5 finales with me! Definitely one of the best!! I came away from 14x19 saying “ooooh my boys done fucked the fuck up!” and came away from this with “OMG MY BOYS REAAAALLLYYY FUCKED THE FUCK UP!!!!” So without further ado, let's get to it.

Absolutely nothing I predicted to happen happened. Even with clues given from trailers, sneak peeks and spoiler shots, which is fantastic, because that means they can still surprise me, have not gotten too predictable, and the writing is STILL top notch!

I was completely and pleasantly thrown by the segment where no one could lie. This is the first finale that had a good strong dose of comedy, where it would seem to not fit but was so well done it was great! It was reminiscent of Lebanon which started off very light and humorous and quickly changed to deeply dramatic. Since the beginning, one of my favorite things about this show is its ability to take me through so many different emotions in just one episode.

We start off with a very angry Jack. Sam Dean and Cas looking on in terror as he emerges from the smoke. Sam, though a little terrified, actually shows a little relief that Jack made his way out. .Now Dean and Cas have at it, because Dean wants Jack dead and Cas does not. Which solidifies that this, season 14, is the first season in 10 years that had absolutely 0 Destiel moments (Thank you Dabb!!) not a welcome back hug, no “sex eyes” no stupid mixx tape... nada zip nothing :) so while so many of you have bitched since Dabb took over in S12, that he's breaking down the brothers’ co-dependency and is a Destiel stan, he has proven both accusations wrong by a long shot.

Now let's move on to the story. Jack walks through town and hears everyone lying to each other. One of the first things we know he has learned is that lying is bad. He’s expressed this a few times that he is uncomfortable with it, now even without a soul, he doesn’t like it, so he orders everyone to stop lying, simply by shouting it. I knew this was going to be fun.

Sam and Dean go to a facial recognition company to try to find Jack. Right away I notice that the sign says “Mirror Universe” and they hold the shot for a moment, making me wonder if this is something I might want to remember later. Not unlike in Lebanon when the boys walked up to the pawn shop and their reflections appeared over the sign “Precious Pawn”. Are these things a hint to something, like in 7x02 when Sam and Hallucifer/Dean got to the office building that was named “Morning Star Inc” (Lucifer is Latin for Morning Star)? Could just be a coincidence but Im going to put that on my “hmmmm” shelf.

Right away Dean comments about the nerds and Sam says “Takes one to know one” and we know they can’t lie either. We learn Dean is not only a geek also, but watches Jeopardy every night, and Sam’s favorite singer is Selene Dion! This tickles me because I love learning new things about Sam, and my little wincest heart sighs at the thought of My Heart Will Go On, Because You Loved Me, and It’s All Coming Back to Me Now are songs maybe he thinks about Dean to?

On that note, I must include that my good friend @supernaturalnardog pointed out that in the early years, being made to tell the truth, led the brothers to say biting, resentful things about each other, and now it was just silly brother teasing. How much closer and trusting they have grown since those days 😍

Meanwhile, we have Cas doing something that made no sense to me. After bitching at Sam and Dean about trying to contain Jack in the Malak box, he is now trying to get into Hell so he can see if he can put Jack in the cage?? Ummm sure yeah Cas, that's a much better choice. Jack goes to find Kelly’s parents, and sadly, they don't like him anymore. They looked him up and no one heard of him, and Kelly’s peers believe she is dead. Grandmom believes Jack killed her. She screams at him and all we see are glowy eyes and STOP!! Ugggh did he just Mary Winchester another grandmom?? Back at the ranch, Chuck shows up agrees with Cas that Jack is a problem and they go meet up with Sam and Dean. Dean is automatically pissed and breaks Chuck’s guitar, the office is crazy with people telling the truth, so Chuck zaps them all back to the bunker to talk. Emotions rise from there...

Cas splits to go find Jack, Chuck talks to the boys makes them a gun that can kill anything, but the catch is, that whatever the gun does to someone else, it also does to the shooter. Dean takes the gun.

After some monologuing between Cas and Jack, we go back to Dean in his room, filling a flask. Sam is looking for him, so Dean invites him in and asks him to have a seat. Here comes “the talk” that Sam must be all too familiar with now. Dean informs Sam that he’s going to kill Jack, and consequently kill himself as well. Looking for Sam’s approval, blessing, acceptance, or whatever, Sam isn’t having it this time. He admits he’s still angry with Jack and part of him still wants him dead too, but

“Dean, we never even tried to save him!” “He killed mom!” “He has no soul!” “And who’s fault is that?” I actually thought Dean was blaming Sam for a second, until Sam took the blame himself and Dean’s expression clearly showed that wasn’t what he was trying to say, he was trying to say it’s Jack’s fault he has no soul.

Sam says it’s his own fault because he brought him back, and Jack burned his soul off saving both of their lives. So Sam tells Dean if he thinks hes going to give him permission to go kill Jack and himself, so he can lose them both all at once, then no... just no.... he’s lost too much already. Sam peaces out.

Sam meets up with Chuck and the meta here made me a little dizzy to be honest. Chuck reveals that Sam and Dean are his guys, of all the Sams and Deans in all the universes, they’re his favorite. They’re SO interesting. And now Sam manages to make me feel guilty about watching them over and over and even writing fic. I empathize with Chuck a little bit here because he “writes” them this way because they're his favorites. They’re the most amazing heroes ever, they save the world but to BE those heroes, they need to go through tragedy. Show of hands here how many of you Sam girl’s write or enjoy fics with hurt!sam? Or Dean girls who write/enjoy hurt!dean? Wouldnt it suck if the boys in your stories started yelling at you to stop it?? What a dark and crazy thought! And I empathized with Sam too, because of how much I love episodes like Red Meat because Sam is badass... but now hes kinda saying, “why did I have to suffer like that to show you Im a badass??” ya feel me fam??

Anyway. Sam gets very angry and then Chuck tells him Dean already left. Dean is at the cemetery about to shoot Jack with the special gun, and Sam doesn't want this, Jack is on his knees, telling Dean he understands and its ok. It flashed me back to the end of S10. Dean cant do it and drops the gun. Chuck is like “nooo pick it up this is the big Abraham sacrificing his only son on Moriah and Dean’s like “nope” and he doesn't even care if Chuck brings mom back in the trade. He’s done, Chuck can fekk off... Chuck’s like fine snaps his fingers and the lights all go out and Jack dies, Dean goes after Chuck and Chuck flings him hard. Sam is completely done, gets the gun and is like fekk all “Chuck dies, I die, Dean dies, the whole freakin universe dies... GAME OVER!” But (un)luckily Sam misfired. And dont @ me Sam and Dean both are crack shots, but they also miss pretty often. And Chuck, from what Ive seen between the show and the fandom said “If all you can do is bitch about the show? Welcome to The End”

Now we are being shown all Sam and Deans hard work being undone. From the Lady in White in 1x01 to John Wayne Gayce’s ghost in Lebanon. All the demons rising and the graves spitting out their dead and ganging up on 2 pretty helpless Winchesters and a pretty useless angel. My boys done fUcKeD tHe FuCk UP!!!! Jack is in The Empty, he’s awake with The Entity and Billie... I cant even imagine where this is going.

Im fairly sure this storyline won't come to a close in a few episodes in the beginning of next season. Since its the final season (side eyes the haters who made sure of it by bitching and not just changing the damn channel like civilized humans would) it will probably be a season-long arc and have reconciliation between the boys and Chuck by the end. If we have learned anything from the past 14 years of this show, its that good intentions don't always turn out good, with love we can forgive some pretty bad shit, and unfortunately, we tend to hurt the ones we love most.

Overall I think this was one of the best finales we’ve seen. I plan to write about and meta the crap out of what's gone on this whole season, because I think the season itself, aside from a few crapisodes, (which every season has) was by far one of the best!

So on a scale of Bloodlines to Lebanon, Im giving this a 9. Well done everyone... well done!!

#supernatural #14x20 spoilers #Moriah spoilers #my opinion #great job

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approximately12screamingcats · 6 years ago

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the hunger games re-read part 1

so the first time i read the hunger games i was...10? 11? somewhere in there. the last time i read them (before now) i was probably 13. i decided about a week or two ago i wanted to read them again, because it had been awhile and i knew i would get more and different things out of them now than then.

i just finished the first book, and i wanna share some of my thoughts, contrasting them to old ones and giving new ones

under the cut because it’s gonna be real long

katniss

i’d say the biggest difference in my last times reading these and now is my opinion on katniss. when i was younger i had the easy opinion that she was boring and annoyingly emotionless. but honestly that’s really not true, and i think it was in part influenced by her portrayal in the movies, which i always thought was good enough but could’ve been better, and i’d go so far to say now that her casting wasn’t great. but also, a movie in third person is very different from a book in first.

but really what i found, katniss is not emotionless, and she’s not boring. no, she’s still not what i would consider a favorite character of mine, i don’t love her, she’s not exactly my type of character that i love. but she’s interesting, and already a fascinating example of what hardship can do to a person. emotionless was such a wild impression to have of her, but i know i wasn’t the only one that thought that. i can say i definitely do not think that now.

she clearly says near the beginning of the book that she’s learned and taught herself to appear emotionless, so that she doesn’t betray her true feelings about the capitol and endanger herself or her family. but she isn’t emotionless at all. she feels very deeply, whether it’s ones she can identify like her love for prim, or ones she can’t, like her (growing) love for peeta.

the most marked thing about katniss is how her entire life has been driven by this need to survive. it encompasses everything she does, everything she has always done, and overshadows almost everything else. since she was eleven years old, she’s had to provide daily for her family, constantly watching out for starvation and arrest and death by wild animals. it’s no surprise she has no idea how to feel about things outside of that. she even says after the games she doesn’t know who she is when she doesn’t have to fight for food every day anymore. i haven’t gotten there yet, but i think that same theme comes back in the beginning of catching fire. her identity has been wrapped in this survival mode, and it’s twisted her into this person that has had to suppress any and all wants of things that could interfere with surviving. she’s not emotionless, she just quite literally has not had the time or energy to think about anything else and how to process it.

the romance

there’s a lot of opinions surrounding this romance. frankly, at the simplest levels, it’s part of the plot. the star crossed lovers of district 12. but yeah, of course there’s more than that. this is a little hard for me to evaluate without bringing up the other books, but tbh i’ll say what i think now with this one fresh in my mind and the others more distant, and see if it changes after catching fire and mockingjay.

anyway, since addressing the love triangle is unavoidable, i have always liked peeta and katniss as a couple more than gale and katniss. originally, i think at least 50% of why was simply because i liked peeta and i didn’t like gale. interestingly, that opinion still holds solid, but that’s not really why i like katniss and peeta better anymore.

katniss, already in book one, is not ambivalent to peeta and she certainly does not dislike him. honestly, i used to think it wasn’t until someway through catching fire that she began to really love him (romantically). but this read through made me realize she is already starting to in this book. it’s under the surface, and definitely doesn’t take hold until catching fire, but it’s there. their connection is emphasized and shown multiple times even before they get into the games. so many times it’s made apparent that she at least cares about him, but i’d say there’s beginnings for more than that.

the unfortunate thing is that being pushed into the whole love story thing for survival, and in front of everyone, is a really terrible environment for someone who barely understands her own emotions to be processing new ones. she’s worried about him dying, she’s incredibly hurt when she thinks he betrayed her for the careers (betrayal is a very strong word for her to choose here too, when she’s been pondering this whole time how one of them has to die). she very evidently wants him to live when she finds him by the stream. frankly, he was already dying, if she really didn’t care about him, she could have easily let him die without it even looking suspect to the audience. she’s not great at medical, which is shown a lot.

and i mean, how many times does she say she can’t bear the idea of being without him? of him dying? yes, usually these are either quick thoughts in a tense moment, or fraught with confusion or other musings, or paired in direct contrast with gale, but they’re there. she worries about it a lot. at the very end, when peeta realizes “it was all a sham for the audience” she even says she’s not sure if it was only fake, and that she misses him already.

to an extent, there’s bonding from trauma here, but i don’t think that’s an invalid manner of bonding? and it’s not just in and after the games that this shows either. it’s there a little bit from the start. she just has to get to know him.

i need to restrain myself from diving too deep into what’s coming here, but i’ll say this: as the books go on, obviously a lot more happens, but i really think one massive block in the way of katniss admitting to falling in love with peeta is the fact that it’s so blatant and open in front of the capitol. katniss hates the capitol, as does most everyone in the districts. but having her whole life on display like that, forcing her out of a decision, doesn’t mean she doesn’t love him, but it is very easy to see how that would make someone (especially a private person) want to withdraw away from that relationship. and katniss, having such a difficult time with her own emotions anyway since her live has been all about survival, doesn’t need that extra barrier on everything to muddle up her emotions and make it harder for her to tell what’s real or not real (lmao).

as for gale, cause i know some people think she clearly loves him, i can get into that more as i get back into the other two books. but from this one so far, and what i remember, a lot of the gale vs peeta stuff isn’t so much about a straight up romance love triangle, but more about what katniss’ life is vs what she wishes it could be. katniss presents herself as a cold and hard person, but she really isn’t like that. she loves soft things, she wants to live in peace, she loves rue and prim and got excited about giving a goat to her sister that she splurged on a ribbon for it. she sang with her father and only stopped when he died. she says she could never admit to her mother how much she needs her gentle touch. the life katniss is living, silent and stoic and always fighting in the woods, is not what she wants. gale, her friend that she definitely genuinely loves (platonically), is parallel to her life. the hunter, full of rage against the capitol, symbol to everything she’s known out of necessity, not want. peeta is calmer, gentler, a symbol to the life she wishes she could have. that’s why they eventually settle down in the epilogue. gale was never the romantic partner katniss needed.

but ive gone far past book one and i’ll get back into these analysis later when catching fire and mockingjay and the epilogue are fresher in my mind.

the rebellion

when i first read these books, my favorite parts were the action and peeta. but man. reading this through now, the story of this rebellion and the rising of people for their justice just screams through the page. and im not even to catching fire yet. it hit me when district 12 raised the salute to katniss, but it hit me even harder when rue died and when cato died. i mean...rue’s death. how katniss covers her in flowers. sings for the first time. drawing to light the utter inhumanity of what the capitol puts children through. but this part got to me specifically:

“I can’t stop looking at Rue, smaller than ever, a baby animal curled up in a nest of netting. I can’t bring myself to leave her like this. Past harm, but seeming utterly defenseless. To hate the boy from District 1, who also appears so vulnerable in death, seems inadequate. It’s the Capitol I hate, for doing this to all of us.”

i can almost hear the lament in that line, “it’s the capitol i hate, for doing this to all of us.” because that’s the truth. they throw up this show, driving them to competition, to hatred, but in the end, even the careers are victims of the capitol.

cato’s death too, for so many of the same reasons. i mean, it’s hard to read this and not feel outright repulsion at what hell the capitol is putting on these people. making the mutts, making them look like the tributes, and then the sheer agony of cato being eaten alive. when katniss and peeta decide to kill him, to relieve him of his misery, it again reveals the truth of things, behind the fancy gold curtain the capitol tries to put up in front of the games.

“It takes a few moments to find Cato in the dim light, in the blood. Then the raw hunk of meat that used to be my enemy makes a sound, and I know where his mouth is. And I think the word he’s trying to say is please.

Pity, not vengeance, sends my arrow flying into his skull.”

these parts are the first set up we get for what happens later. the games are awful enough, but seeing them so raw and unhindered, from the first hand account, you can’t look away.

i don’t know. i can’t put it into words yet, but it moves me immensely. just the story of a people oppressed for so long, revealing the horror and setting themselves free.

other small observations

i kinda wish i had read these books again when i was 16. because 16 sounded so old when i was 10-13, but now it seems young. i would have liked to read it knowing i was the same age as katniss, picturing how that really would be.

i also forgot cinna was not literally lenny kravitz.

i have not read a book this fast for recreation in years, and im LIVING.

#m #the hunger games #thg #thg reread #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #gale hawthorne

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y01te-moved · 6 years ago

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🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

i almost cant even count how many this is but im doing every single one anyways and you cant stop me despite the fact that this obviously took me ages to actually answer

1: if ur reading this ur legally obligated to follow max (sender of this ask) Right Now. Just Do It.

2: i think more ppl with my sense of humor should watch Spider Riders bc listen.. if somewhere along the line that show suddenly gained more popularity again in this fine year of 2019 id be both actually funny for once but also revolutionary. by all technicalities some of my hcs are fucking great but i dont think i could say a lot of them and even be comprehensible outside of orientation based ones that are just rlly controversial. granted im not even sure i could or would actually recommend the show to people cause its kinda dumb a lot of the time and also fairly long at least to my standards so its harder to finish unless ur like really invested in it :pensive:

3: also on that note the next time a horny person even THINKS about Corona im Going to break into their home and then break their knees. i hate that she has so much fanart thats basically just fetish art or otherwise managing to be nsfw in some way shes like 15 at best fuck off!! its rlly only a problem on like. deviantart but it still makes me die inside.

4: character development is hard i never actually keep my ideas and what i have written down on like. my actual bios for everyone on the same pace so its a confusing mess and i wish i was better at combating that

5: anon and kanon r such good loids i wish people used them more but i think a part of the problem is that i dont always look That hard for things that use them ahdbsadgashdj

6: alex is the best sdv bachelor and im not accepting criticism on that notion. 2nd best would probably be like.. sam except i havent tried hard enough to be friends with him yet which i feel bad abt bc he seems nice

7: i miss the cracking open a cold one with the boys meme that was still one of my favorites

8: (goes BACK to thinking about SR shdfjds) the anime had no right having like so many characters base their ideals off of how brade used to be in the past and all those good takes on like not necessarily Having to resort to violence as the ultimate solution and all that good stuff just to be like, “surprise!! he actually IS still around! but also he’s going to be minimally helpful at all until the last few episodes and otherwise we’re going to make a ton of gags about him trying to hit on the like 2 girls in the team who are also like 15 while he ignores practically everyone else because thats funny!” im still so mad about it. he is the absolute worst and he has no rights. there was also so much potential they seemed like they could have used and were trying to hint at using in terms of further developing more important details about the history of the inner world or at least some of the things that had been going on well before hunter ever showed up and then they didn’t do anything but hint at the idea of brade having known hunter’s grandfather. but even that wasn’t 100% confirmed bc they dodged around it the one time they had hunter ask. its a mess.

9: my taste is so fucking weird and i hate it bc its mostly just, “oh yeah i heard abt this thing and it seems cool im hoping to start getting into it soon!” for most things that are actually cool or popular or all that and never actually get into it, but then i see smth dumb as shit that i know would probably make me look like an absolute fool for liking and im like, “oh yeah yknow what i can do this one” and then i do like it but i cant say much about it either cause i dont wanna look like. a fool.

10: these have been depressing as fuck so im gonna lighten the mood and say that himbo is a fucking hilarious word and i love it

11: also axel (kh) is a himbo. why? he just is.

12: im also bad at character design i think bc i always worry that my characters look too similar in terms of hair style like all the time and idk if its rlly that bad or not jfhgkf. that and like. so many of my characters just wear jeans and boots in terms of the lower half of their body its so unoriginal but it always works so well…

13: still disappointed in myself for having never 100%’d even 1 tlodw game. lunatic mode.. Difficult

14: i dont keep up with ace attorney fans but i hope everyone out there agrees that miles has peak vampire energies based on the way he dresses alone

15: re:zero fans have no rights only bc i only ever see ppl talking abt rem and ram like. wh.. was no one ever going to tell me about reinhard or was i just supposed to watch him get introduced in the first few eps and then fall in love w/him immediately before even finding out hes supposed to be a knight which makes him 20x better

16: leon and/or leonhart is like genuinely a good name idk why it just sounds rlly nice

17: ive had like so many technical difficulties with this site since trying to answer this i hate tumblr

18: im pretty sure im like. genuinely just gonna go mute or some shit one day cause honestly ive mostly only ever gotten worse and worse about not actually being able to say things even when i know exactly what thought im trying to say, both physically and like. online. its so weird i feel like i just cant say things. it may just be being self conscious but i restrict myself soo heavily and its WEIRD…. its like being trapped in ur thoughts and it sucks. probably doesnt even actually mean all that much but it still makes it hard for me to accomplish anything ever which i hate.

19: despite all the titles like ssbu and all that existing for the switch i think id only want one to play the new(er) inside system games i havent had the chance to yet like the spinoff card game and rudymical and also brave dungeon but w/neville and klinsy and whoever else was dlc on that game cause obviously i own the 3ds port but also neville.. good… i wanna see how she plays..

20: i miss when i could be passionate abt cave story it just makes me feel tired seeing it sometimes at this point but it also still holds a great significance to me so its just confusing and im not sure how i feel abt it

21: the SR novels were cowards only on account of not giving us any official design for petra but also for writing igneous like. That. novelverse igneous is just too bitter in general and like i get it but they couldve done a lot more with him even though he is still somewhat respectable in the end, granted its hard cause like holy shit hes so fucking mean to hunter literally who asked for that. im just glad the anime let him be somewhat more idk.. i guess sociable while still keeping a lot of the inherently essential aspects his personality had like his almost over the top loyalty to the prince and taking things like training/combat in general very seriously. its just good and animeverse igneous is so good id die for him thanks for coming to my tedtalk

#bloook why #JDSGJDGSJDHSD THIS WAS KINDA HARD TBH I DONT HAVE ALL THAT MUCH I WANNA SAY..#BUT STILL TY ANYWAYS MAX..#we would be better off just going down a list and having me state my opinions on SR characters #thats what like 2 of these were anyhow even tho no one asked

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imaginethisbts · 7 years ago

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it takes two to make a thing go right (dogboy hybrid au) pt. 1

Rated: M

Warning: Dom themes, possessive behavior, knotting, excessive oral sex, rough sex.

Summary: What’s better than one dogboy lover? Two dogboy lovers. But when Tae and Jungkook seem unusually clingy, it can only mean one thing. That time of the month has snuck up on you and your dogboy lovers do not want to share.

Note: jungkook is mean to taehyung in this cuz hes the dom alpha and taehyung tests his dominance too much =( but the smut is filthy and nasty lmfaoo. also i apologize in advance if the writing is a little weird and random in some spots. ive written on this story while being terribly exhausted, and then while being drunk, sad and mad. lol what im trying to say is i wrote parts of this story in numerous states of mind! oh and yes theres gonna be a second part to this so plz dont ask ill get it out asap. enjoy my loves!

Words: 8.4k

Since the dishes in the sink had gotten dangerously high from neglect, you thought you'd finally set up shop in the kitchen and try to tackle the giant mess. With your laptop sitting up on the bar in front of you playing Bob’s Burgers on Hulu and your big glass of lemonade set to the side, you were totally prepared to spend some time here at the sink.

The reason for there being so many dirty dishes was because living with two male hybrids was like living with two bottomless pits when it came to food. They ate so much, and did not understand the concept of reusing dishes under any circumstances. Every time they ate, it was a new dish being used, no matter how many times you tried to explain to them that their glasses could at least be used more than once.

They were utterly clueless.

Glancing over the top of your lap top into the living room, you saw Jungkook and Taehyung sitting on the edge of the couch, controllers clutched in their hands as they stared intently at the screen in front of them. You huffed a sigh of relief at them finally seeming to be content, returning your attention back to the task at hand.

The past couple of days they had been unbelievably clingy, begging for your attention constantly and not allowing you to get anything productive done at home. Finally after having enough of their constant pestering, you broke down this morning and went to the store to buy them a new videogame for the PS4.

And so far, that had done the trick at distracting them so you could get some work done, but you could only hope it would last.

After you filled the dishwasher up, you started the cleaning cycle on it and continued hand cleaning the left over dishes you couldn't fit into the machine. That was, until you suddenly heard an argument break out in the living room, their voices getting louder as one accused the other of cheating and the other heatedly denying.

You leaned your head back and closed your eyes, taking a deep breath to try and keep your sanity from slipping away. Should have known the peace wouldn't last long.

Most of the time you tried to let them work out their problems alone without interfering, since they were grown adults after all, but sometimes that just wasn't the best idea.

Like now, when you heard Jungkook's deep growl reverberate through the air.

You knew from past experiences that that sound was bad news, so you quickly turned the faucet off and grabbed your dish towel, making your way into the living room to break up the fight as you wiped your hands off.

The sight that awaited you was nothing if not expected, but it never failed to surprise you at the same time.

"Get off!" Taehyung shouted and squirmed, currently being pushed head first into the couch by Jungkook, who was positioned on top of Taehyung, growling and snapping at the other's neck in warning.

Taehyung snarled in defense, squirming and trying to get Jungkook off of him, but the other hybrid was just so much stronger, making the feat almost impossible. It wasn't until Jungkook bucked his hips into Taehyung, in their strange way of showing dominance, that Taehyung finally collapsed to the couch and bared his throat, whining in submission.

Jungkook huffed, bending down to nose at Taehyung's neck and then nip at it, causing the smaller hybrid to whimper. "You cheated. Admit it."

"But I didn't," Taehyung whined desperately and Jungkook's deep growl sounded again, and that's when you realized you had just been standing there watching and that now was a good time to make yourself known.

"Stop it. Jungkook, get off of him now." You jumped into action, grabbing Jungkook's upper arm and trying to pull him off of Taehyung, but Jungkook snapped his head towards you and growled in warning. It only lasted for a moment however, because when he realized it was you, he whined lowly in his throat, licking your hand as an apology and climbing off of Taehyung to sit back on the couch.

Taehyung scrambled to sit up once Jungkook was off of him. His ears were flat amidst his hair and he curled slightly into himself, looking at you with sad, literal puppy dog eyes.

God, you wanted to cuddle him so badly right now, but you knew you had to whip things back into shape real quick.

You placed your hands angrily on your hips and huffed in irritation, glaring down at both of them. "Are you serious guys? Can you really not play nicely with each other?"

They both looked guilty now with their flat ears and lowered heads. You once asked them what their least favorite thing in the world was, and their answer was whenever you scolded them.

Hybrid worlds were not very wide and mostly always revolved around their master, lover, or caregiver.

"Since you two don't know how to play nicely, I guess I'll have to sit here and supervise you like children." You told them rather annoyed, planting yourself right in the middle of them on the couch. Immediately, the two of them flocked to you like a magnet. Jungkook went for your neck, nosing at a spot before licking it, scenting you so you smelt like him. Taehyung hugged your arm and rubbed his cheek into your hair, his own way of scenting you.

The video game was suddenly forgotten and they weren't at each other's throats for the time being. This wasn't exactly the solution you were going for, but hey, it was a solution nonetheless.

Life with two hybrids was.... interesting, to say the very least.

And there were somethings you felt like you would never quite get used to.

For example, you don't think you could ever get used to the way Jungkook and Taehyung had to assert dominance over one another. Which, by the way, was by mounting the other one (fully clothed, of course) and giving a few thrusts into the other's behind while growling deeply and biting (not hard) into the other's neck.

Like what Jungkook just did to Taehyung over the video game debacle.

Jungkook was the worst one, and definitely the most dominate between him and Taehyung. He was never afraid to display that dominance either, like when they were playing together, arguing over something, and most importantly, when it came to you.

You never understood why one of them had to be above the other, but then again, there was a lot of things you didn't understand, giving the fact that they were half dogs.

Taehyung has tried to assert dominace over Jungkook in the past, but each and every time has led to a huge fight that you had to get into the middle of and break up. One of the times, Jungkook was so out of his mind with anger, he accidentally bit your arm hard enough to draw blood when you had thrown it out in a haste to get him away from Taehyung.

He had felt so bad, that the next few days after the incident, he wouldn't leave your side, whining in regret and licking your wound diligently. His saliva, being part dog, had helped the bite mark heal more quickly, and for that, you were grateful.

After a while of living together, harmony eventually fell between the three of you and Taehyung accepted his role as the submissive hybrid. Although every great once in awhile, he'd still try to challenge Jungkook, but it was mostly out of playfulness and Jungkook was always quick to put him back into his place.

Life was difficult living with two hyrbids, even more so with them being your lovers.

Sharing as a concept between the two never went over well, they were possessive by nature to begin with, so it was especially hard for them when they had to share you. Their bitch. You were still getting used to being called that, one half of you still finding it on the demeaning side, but the other half of you finding it strangely arousing.

Right now was a good example of their terrible sharing skills.

Jungkook tried to pull you towards him, snarling at Taehyung and the other just whined, pulling you back.

You felt like a rag-doll between them sometimes.

"Stop it, you guys. You're gonna tear me in two." You rolled your eyes, making to get up and return to the kitchen, but they both let out deep growls at your attempt. Back when you first met them, any growl that came out of their mouth frightened you and you stopped doing whatever it was that elicited that response from them in fear of what would happened. But now, you knew better, and knew that they were literally all bark and no bite. It was all about intimidation for them, and unfortunately, the trick just didn't work on you anymore. "Oh, you don't want to let me go? Okay then, you two are perfectly welcomed to go finish the dirty dishes that are mostly from you anyways."

Of course, their deep intimidating growls quickly turned into high pitched whines as they pawed at your arms.

"Baby," Taehyung whimpered when you continued to try and get up.

You ignored their whining and pleading and freed yourself before standing up from the couch, rolling your eyes once again when they got up after you and followed close behind you back into the kitchen. Like two desperately determined magnets.

A grin snuck across your face, but you willed it away before they saw it and realized you weren't upset with them after all. Sure, they really got on your nerves sometimes, but you couldn't help but to find their excessive affection endearing. After all, it came so naturally to them so it was always completely sincere. You were their entire world, and quite honestly, they were yours.

But you hated when they fought with each other, and despite them being your lovers, you were going to treat this problem like you would with any other bad habit of your... pet dog, for lack of better wording. And punish them by taking away something they enjoyed.

Which was you.

So you continued to ignore them as you returned to the sink, twisting on the faucet and picking up a dish to start scrubbing it clean. It was almost impossible to concentrate when they were nuzzling at your neck, their tongues poking out here and there on your skin, licking fervently and demanding your attention.

Being clingy was a normal thing for them, but this amount was unusual, they were practically frantic. It almost had you wondering if their behavior meant something was arriving.

At the mere thought of it, a shot of anticipation and arousal flew through your body and suddenly you were hyper aware of their big, strong hands tugging on your waist and hips. However, you controlled your hormones, knowing full well that if you let yourself get too worked up they would sense it and really be demanding your attention then. In more ways than one.

Taehyung whined, and you felt him rock his hips into you, knowing that he was trying to get your attention by enticing you.

The action didn't go unnoticed by the other however and Jungkook instantly turned his attention to Taehyung, a deep growl crawling up his throat and he abandoned you in favor of backing the other hybrid up against the counter, teeth bared and ears back in anger.

You huffed in annoyance at the fact another fight was about to break out, so you turned the faucet off once again in order to take care of things. "Stop, stop, stop," you demanded tiredly to Jungkook, but he didn't even acknowledge your words and continued to press into Taehyung's space.

"My bitch." Jungkook spat down at Taehyung, and you were surprised when Taehyung snarled back, challenging Jungkook.

"No," he shoved Jungkook back off of him. "She's fucking not."

Surprise colored your features at how Taehyung was not submitting and you suddenly became anxious, worried what was going to happen now. Nothing good ever came after Taehyung's refusal to submit, because Jungkook hated when his dominance was threatened.

"Guys, look at me," you tried, but they were too busy sizing each other up. "Guys!" You bit your lip, thinking hard on what to do, on how to nip this in the bud before it worsened considerably.

And then an idea popped into your head.

"I-I'll go lay down with you and rub your ears if you please just stop fighting!"

That was one of their grandest weaknesses. Ear rubs.

You almost laughed when you saw Taehyung's tail wag at the prospect of an ear rub despite how he was squared up with Jungkook. Even Jungkook's ears twitched after hearing that, and then they both glanced at you, tails lowering as they started wagging in guilt.

Ear rubs were clearly way more important than a dumb fight.

Reaching out your hands, you smiled softly. "Come on my loves," you knew they loved it when you spoke sweetly to them. It always made them happy. So after that, they eagerly took ahold of your hands and let you lead them out of the kitchen, down the hall and into your shared bedroom.

At least you knocked out most of the dirty dishes. The rest would have to wait a little bit longer, and maybe you'd make Taehyung and Jungkook take care of them.

Once you got into the room, you didn't even have a chance to get on the bed yourself, because Taehyung was nudging you down onto it from behind with a huff. A squeak slipped passed your lips as you caught yourself on your hands in fear of falling face first into the mattress. Heartbeat increasing slightly from the unexpected push.

You huffed out a surprised laugh, looking over your shoulder to lightly scold Taehyung, but the amused look on your face quickly fell when you saw the way Taehyung and Jungkook were looking at you. They stood behind you, eyes dark as they stared down at you like two predators stalking their prey, licking their lips hungrily.

Belatedly, you realized your new position was quite the compromising one. Your face was down and ass was poked out into the air, a delicious and satisfying sight to the two hybrids who kept licking their lips. Jungkook even went as far as to lick his teeth. Their eyes were boring into your ass and when you looked down slightly, you saw the rapidly growing tent in their pants as their obvious arousal began to show.

You gulped in a mixture of anticipation and desire, trying to keep your hormones under control in fear of them literally pouncing on you. "T-Taehyung," you tried to scold with a shaky voice and then turn over to sit on your butt, but you quickly stopped moving at the sound of the deep growl that resounded from Jungkook.

Another gulp, out of slight fear this time.

"Jungkook, baby," you called sweetly in an attempt for him to lightened up on some of his intensity, and then you tried to turn over again, but he only let out another growl.

"Stay." He demanded, moving closer in behind you, but not without Taehyung growling in disagreement.

"Jungkook," Taehyung suddenly whined. "I got her like that, not you, so I get her first."

Jungkook seemed like he couldn't care less about Taehyung's misfortune in the slightest, only giving a snarl in response as he manhandled you to where you kneeling on the bed as well, making it to where you were now on all fours.

If the sight of you before was delicious to them, this one now was absolutely mouthwatering.

Not really knowing why since it seemed to be a lost cause now, you still tried to control your hormones. If you went full on unabashedly aroused, the reaction it elicited from the two hybrids was overwhelming and intense, so you tried to keep it as lowkey as possible while you prepared yourself for what was to come.

It was almost humorous how quickly things turned. It went from giving them innocent ear rubs, to giving them something far less innocent.

Your control on your arousal was slipping, especially when you felt the bed dip behind you as Jungkook climbed onto it. Biting your lip, you looked over your shoulder again and just about lost it at the sight of Jungkook. His teeth were bared slightly from a snarl and it was like he couldn't take his eyes off of your ass. Displayed so perfectly for him to take as he pleased.

It was a total lost cause when you felt a gush of wetness leak out of you onto your panties. There was no holding your hormones back now. And you knew it was now clouding the air when the two hybrids suddenly took a deep breath. Taehyung began to whine frantically, tail wagging as he paced behind Jungkook, wanting so badly to get to you, but knowing he couldn't because of the other hybrid.

Jungkook chose to mount you then, positioning himself to where he was over you and the large and prominent bulge in his pants was now pressed right up against your ass.

You let out a shaky breath, stomach twisting in a burning ball of arousal.

Taehyung tried to slowly get onto the end of the bed, but Jungkook turned on him and growled, making him back away with a whine.

You would scold Jungkook in times like this, and tell him to share you with Taehyung, but Jungkook's possessiveness in this setting was admittedly a guilty pleasure of yours. It made you feel so wanted and desired on such a filthy level - plus, Jungkook always shared in the end. After he got off inside of you, he'd let Taehyung have his turn, so you didn't feel too bad.

But one thing that was even better than letting Jungkook just have at you, was making Jungkook work for it. He always got so riled up, that when he finally got you, he was fucking ruthless. Which you loved.

So when you felt him tugging your tight lounge shorts down, you quickly flipped yourself over to where you were sitting on your butt, a breathless laugh tumbling out.

Jungkook huffed in irritation, immediately going for your hips to just flip you back over, but you moved back away from him until you were up at the pillows. The grin on your face couldn't be helped, this was too much fun. He stared at you for a moment, frowning, before he made to move towards you.

"Nah-ah-ah," you waved a finger at him, lifting your foot up to press against his chest, halting him from coming closer. "You haven't been a very good boy today Kookie, so why should I let you have me?"

Jungkook bent down and licked at your ankle with a whine, looking at you with his puppy dog eyes. "Please," he pleaded, lowering his hand to grab at his aching cock through his pants. His hips jumped from the friction of his own hand.

"Please isn't an answer, Kookie," you were tempted to tease him by letting Taehyung come get you, but you knew that wasn't a smart idea. Things could turn seriously violent then.

Speaking of Taehyung, he carefully and slowly tried to get onto the bed again and Jungkook was too distracted by trying to get you to surrender to notice his movements. So by the time Taehyung was up onto the bed and moving closer to you, it was too late for Jungkook to get him off of the bed.

Now, you had two eager hybrids in front of you, that were very much aroused and with very little patience.

You smirked, deciding to turn this little game up a notch or two. With your left hand, you slowly smoothed it down your stomach until you got to the waistband of your shorts. Taehyung and Jungkook were completely still, watching your hand intently with their ears perked up.

You bit your lip to try and contain the grin threatening to spread across your face but it was a futile attempt. When your fingers slipped passed your waistband, you caught sight of their tails begin to wag in anticipation and impatience. You dipped two of your fingers between your folds and then slowly slipped your hand back out with a pop of your waistband. Lifting your fingers into the air, Taehyung and Jungkook followed the movement closely, their tongue coming out to lick their lips.

It was Taehyung who first tried to lean in to steal a lick, but you simply pulled your hand back and with your other one you placed it against his chest to halt his movements.

"No." You firmly said, and Taehyung sat back with a whimper, rubbing his head against Jungkook's shoulder, in which the other hybrid just turned his head and licked Taehyung's cheek quickly in acknowledgment.

"I want you," Taehyung whined, licking his lips again when you brushed the two wet fingers against each other.

You sighed, stomach twisting in a sharp pang of arousal at how utterly desperate they were to have you.

"You want me?" You cooed at them, and they suddenly became frantic, tails wagging and their heads nodding in agreement. "If you get me, what will you do with me?"

"Breed you." Jungkook said immediately with a growl, puffing his chest out slightly and your foot slid off of him, making your leg fall back down onto the mattress. He stayed put though, despite the lack of barrier now.

You almost moaned at his answer, becoming even wetter and thinking of how amazing it'll feel to eventually have Jungkook's thick cock inside of you - pinning you to the bed as he pounds you senselessly.

Some might say this was down right cruel, but you parted your legs, again gaining their undivded attention as they waited for what was next, and then smoothed your hand down onto your clothed center, patting it lightly.

"You wanna fill me up, Kookie?"

A shiver of excitement shot up your spine at the growl your words elicted from Jungkook deep within his chest. He tried to move to get in between your legs, but you quickly shut them before he had the chance, giving him a smirk and another wave of your finger.

"Did I tell you you could come touch me?" You asked him, but he just puffed a breath out of his nose in utter annoyance. Clearly growing tired of your little games.

But that's exactly what you wanted.

You were so caught up in Jungkook however, you failed to notice Taehyung who had moved in enough to gingerly stick his tongue out and lick at your two fingers that were still damp with your arousal. Honestly, you didn't have the heart to shoo him away, so you allowed him to frantically lick your fingers clean. His ears were laid back in fear of you scolding him, but you just stared at his skillfull tongue, at the way it curled around your fingers and lapped deliciously.

Suddenly an idea popped into your head and you pulled your hand away, much to Taehyung's disappointent, but you didn't care because you were about to give him something so much better.

They watched you curiously, wondering what you were doing, but when they saw you lift your hips off of the bed to start tugging your lounge shorts down, they immediately started whining in anticipation. You dropped your hips, telling them to behave and be patient as you slowly slid the shorts down your legs, taking your time and teasing them as much as you could.

After you slipped your feet out of them, you made sure to keep your legs pressed together for the time being.

"Mm," you bit your lip, gazing up at them with hooded eyes. "Do my babies want a little treat?" You gave them a little preview by spreading your legs slightly, just enough for them to catch a glimpse of your deliciousness in-between and then closing them again.

They about fucking lost it.

You couldn't even try to keep them out, because Jungkook was promptly forcing your legs apart with his impressive strength and making room for himself between them. Taehyung grabbed your leg, pulling it up and outwards so he could have room too, but Jungkook had different thoughts on that.

He growled deeply at Taehyung to back away from what was his, but the other hybrid just lowered his ears to make himself look non-threatening and Jungkook decided to just not worry about it anymore. Everyone here knew whose bitch you were and who would be breeding you first.

Your legs were spread wide, exposing your glistening swollen center that looked absolutely irresitable to the two hybrids.

Yet something was holding them back, like they were so strung-out they couldn't even get themselves to actually taste you. So you ran two fingers through your wetness again and then lifted your hand into the air for them. They almost bumped heads in their haste to lick your fingers, both of them whimpering at the amazing taste.

You became even wetter when they started licking into each others mouths in an attempt to find more, having cleaned your fingers completely of the sweetness.

God, it was erotic and unbelievably hot. You were truly blessed to have two hybrids as lovers.

"You want more babies?" You cooed at them, patting the source of it all to get their attention.

Unrestrained now that he had a taste, Jungkook was the first to dive in, burying his face into your pussy and going to town with his tongue. They weren't the only ones having been strung-out, so after finally getting stimulation down there and rough stimulation at that, your stomach twisted in a vicious knot, heat blazing through your core.

"Oh God, Kookie," you moaned in a high pitch, thighs trembling from the ruthless stimulation of his frantic tongue. You tangled your hand in his hair, stuck between wanting to move away from the sharp pleasure or move even closer in search for a delicious release in the future.

Taehyung carefully moved in, trying to find a good angle for his head and he ended up just pressing in beside Jungkook and licking whatever part of skin he could reach, which happened to be crease where your leg met your pelvis. Jungkook was quite frankly hogging the good stuff.

A possessive growl ripped from Jungkook's chest at Taehyung's proximity, but he was way too enthralled in the taste of you to press the matter any further. He moved down a bit and shoved his tongue into your entrance, licking deeply, as far as he could go and your eyes almost rolled back into your head at the sheer pleasure. Especially because after he did that, Taehyung took advantage of the space and angled his head to where he was lapping at your clit.

You've had previous lovers. Quite a few before the two hybrids came along. But none of them could even compare to Taehyung and Jungkook in bed. Looking down, and seeing both of their heads between your legs and knowing that they wanted to be there, made you throw your head back and moan as you shifted your hips in pleasure. Some of your old lovers wouldn't even eat you out (they didn't last very long), and the others that did only did it out of obligation.

But Jungkook and Taehyung genuinely loved eating you out, the taste of you utterly addictive to them.

A rush of heat headed south when you watched Taehyung begin humping Junkook's leg in search of friction, a whine escaping his throat.

Jungkook, seeing it as Taehyung trying to assert dominance over him, reluctantly pulled his mouth away from you in order to bare his teeth and growl at the other hybrid. Taehyung completely ignored him, taking this opportunity to really dive into you now that Jungkook had pulled back a bit and he continued to rock his hips into the other, enjoying the friction it was granting.

"Jungkook," you moaned out when you saw him make a move to probably tackle Taehyung, but you caught his attention just in time. "No." You tried to sound firm when he looked up at you, but your voice wavered from the extreme pleasure Taehyung was currently giving you.

The black haired hybrid chose to ignore you, turning his attention back to Taehyung with a dangerous growl.

"Jungkook!" You snapped at him this time, desperately trying to keep your wits when Taehyung threatened to completely sweep you away in utter bliss. His tongue was currently lapping at your entrance while his nose rubbed unintentionally against your clit. It all felt so fucking amazing and you wanted to lose yourself to it, but you couldn't let Jungkook attack him.

Jungkook looked up at you again, huffing in irritation, but you held his gaze steadily.

"Come up here," you told him, and he glanced at Taehyung for a moment before looking back at you with a whine. "Come on, Jungkook."

So he stole one last lick on your inner thigh before he moved up your body, licking across your nipple on his way up. You gripped his jaw then, pulling his head up to yours and smashing your mouths together.

For a moment, you actually kissed, mouths moving together like well-oiled engine. But it didn't take long until Jungkook was shoving his tongue passed your lips and licking frantically at the wet cavern. You moaned into his mouth at the taste of yourself on his tongue and then shifted your hips when Taehyung began pressing forward in order to lick as deeply as possible into your entrance.

Jungkook was half-way hovering over you now, resting his weight on his hip and in the perfect position for you to reach down into his pants and take his impossibly hard cock into your hand. Immediately, before you could even move your hand, he was bucking his hips into the tight grip in search of relief.

Taehyung had also moved to where his hips were straddling your leg slightly so he could start rubbing his clothed cock against you.

Now, they were both rocking their hips into you for relief and the motions were driving you abolustely insane. They made you feel so dirty and used and suddenly, you wanted to flip yourself over and let them have at you. Let them pound your ass until you were turned into a crying, screaming mess.

"'Wanna breed you," Jungkook murmured into your mouth gruffly, trying so hard to fuck into your hand roughly for some satisfaction, but there was no way he was going to get any in this position. He needed to be inside of you, with your tight wet heat suctioned around him.

"Yeah?" You moaned in between his incessant licks and kisses. "Wanna breed me, baby? Wanna fill me up and knot me?"

The filthy questions earned you a growl from Jungkook and he nipped at your bottom lip sharply, making you wince slightly as your eyebrows knitted together.

"Turn over. Want that ass in the air for me." He pulled away, giving you room to obey. "Gonna fuck my bitch so good. Fill her up with my pups." He was almost talking to himself at this point, so ready to fuck you as he quickly removed his pants and jerked his shirt over his head.

The only problem though was Taehyung, who was still languidly licking at you and rubbing himself against your leg. In his own little world. But when you made the move to turn over, he immediately caught on to what you were doing and sat back in excitement. His tail wagging as he rushed to remove his clothing.

Getting onto your knees and resting your weight on your forearms was an easy enough task. But it's the chaos that followed the action, where it all turned difficult.

Taehyung tried to move in behind you out of instinct, but a vicious growl tore from Jungkook's chest and he jumped to intercept the other's movement. With his brute strength, Jungkook wrestled and pinned Taehyung to the bed by his shoulders, growling and snapping in warning less than an inch away from his neck.

"My bitch, do you understand me? Stay the fuck away from her." Jungkook snarled, and even being human you could almost feel the domineering, intimidating pheromones that were echoing off of his body, so you could only imagine how affected Taehyung was by them. If you weren't in the bedroom with your ass in the air, you would stand up for Tae, but you knew better than to get into the middle of what was going on. When it came to breeding, Jungkook's word was law. He got first go.

Taehyung was positively terrified, ears flattened into his hair and eyes squeezed shut with his neck bared in submission. He whined in fear. "You don't touch until I say you can touch. And that won't be until after I pump her full and knot her up, so know your fucking place." And just to drive his point home and really get Taehyung to listen, Jungkook opened his mouth and rested his canines on the thin skin of Taehyung's neck. A dangerous warning. And then he removed them, snarling once more as he backed up off of the other hybrid and turned his attention back to what mattered.

You.

Jungkook sniffed at the air and then let out a satisfied huff when he smelt your arousal, the tantalizing aroma going straight to his cock and making it throb as he moved into position behind you.

You shuddered in anticipation when you felt the weight and heat of his body behind you and it was no surprise when you felt his strong hands grip your hips and begin jostling your body into his desired position. When he was done there was a deep arch in your back and your ass was poised perfectly in the air for him and it delighted you knowing how badly the sight probably drove him insane.

Seeing you completely offering yourself up to him, like his good little bitch. Your stomach twisted fiercely when he growled in approval at the sight of you and began lining his cock up with your entrance. Before he pushed in, he looked over his shoulder back at Taehyung and snarled, not even liking the other hybrid to be so close, but he was too desperate to be inside of you to care much about it.

As he pushed in, you bit your lip and held your breath, hand clutching the sheets in front of you in order to keep yourself grounded. The intense stretch of his girth stung, but it was expected and you knew it wouldn't last long. As soon as he would start thrusting, your body would adjust and open up perfectly for him, accepting his thickness eagerly.

"Fuck," you squeaked out breathlessly when he bottomed out with a thump and you listened to him breathe heavily through his nose behind you, most likely taking in this moment and gathering himself before he began plowing into you.

Jungkook draped himself over you, nuzzling through your hair in order to find your ear. For a moment he just breathed into it, making your heart beat frantically in your chest out of anticipation on what he was going to do next, and then he poked his tongue out to lave over it before tugging the lobe between his teeth with a growl.

"So wet and tight, my bitch feels so good," and he emphasized the last word with a deliberate roll of his hips that ended with a firm smack into your ass. The feeling was absolutely delicious.

And before you knew it, his hips began moving in a consistent motion. Quick little thrusts that you knew would only build in intensity over time. But right now, they were small and almost soft, yet had enough speed to have your ass jiggling every time his hips met it.

You could hear Taehyung behind you whining and moving around on the bed aimlessly, not knowing what to do with himself and the unbearable urge to fuck. You wanted to feel bad for him, but the steady, perfectly consistent rhythm of Jungkook's thrusts wouldn't allow you. You were already so fucking gone. The way Jungkook was fucking you right now could get you to cum without you even thinking about having to touch your clit. That's how good it was.

Jungkook reached underneath you and slipped one of his hands up your stomach all the way up to your breast, squeezing it and then tweaking the nipple with his fingers. "Perfect tits, baby. Can't wait to see 'em all full and leaking of milk for our pups." He growled dangerously then, his thrusts intensifying, shifting to the next level effortlessly.

"Yes, Kookie," you moaned out loudly, clenching around his cock from the filthy words shamelessly tumbling out of his mouth.

Honestly, you were pretty sure it wasn't possible for you to get pregnant by them, which was why you never worried about condoms or birth control. It's not like you were positively for certain, but you just figured since you were technically different species, you wouldn't be biologically compatible like that. But you had to admit, one of your deepest, darkest filthiest fantasies was quitting your job and just staying with your ass in the air all day everyday for them to take turns breeding you over and over again. Being their personal little pup-maker, like they'd probably love for you to be.

But that was a fantasy, and you tried to keep the sex with them under control because they were pretty much always horny and would be perfectly happy just spending their whole day fucking you. The instinct to reproduce was strong within them and always present, making it hard for them to see you in an innocent light sometimes. Like when you'd bend over to pick something up or tie your shoe, they'd see it as an opportunity to mount you from behind. Or when you'd be their little spoon while cuddling, they would be hyper-aware of their crotch pressed up against your ass and then get aroused and try to have sex.

Don't get you wrong though, you were a young healthy woman with a strong sex drive of your own that had no problems indulging two handsome hybrid's insatiable obsession. But sometimes, you had to be rational and refuse them or else you'd never get anything done throughout the day.

This time of the month however, when your ovulation cycle began to run its course, you knew that you had to surrender yourself to their incessant desire, at least until after it wasn't so strong to them. Because one time during one of your ovulation cycles you had a bad cold and did not feel like having sex at all, so you rejected all of their advances and quickly found out that it was physically painful for them when they could feel such a strong urge and pull towards you but couldn't do anything about it. It was so unbearable in fact that you ordered and expressed shipped from the internet a pheromone mask, a spray that you spritzed all over your body and masked the strong scent that you were sending out to Jungkook and Taehyung. It helped eased the sexual urge for them, but they were still clingy and didn't leave your side throughout the whole cycle.

You still had that spray, and kept it for emergencies, but you chose to deal with your cycle naturally most of the time and let them fuck you like they wanted. It was easier to just let it happen, rather than make sure you put the spray on again every hour to keep it effective. Plus, you really had no issues about dealing with it naturally when you could. And it was a Friday, so you had the next two days off and were free to spend them right here in this very bed if need be.

Your train of thought suddenly rerouted back to the present when Jungkook sat back onto his heels and gripped your hips in his strong hold, before pounding into you harder than before. Driving his hips into you with the sole purpose to get himself off and fill you up to the brim with his seed and knot.

You gasped, mouth hanging open in a silent scream and you gripped the covers beneath you, pulling up on them before pressing your forehead into the mattress. You were so wrecked beyond basic thought, that you didn't even notice Taehyung was now beside you. Glancing over at him, you saw him staring intently at where you and Jungkook were connected, the wet and sloppy sight of Jungkook's cock pistoning in and out of you and the obvious stretch you were having to endure in order to accommodate him. Taehyung's hand was wrapped around his cock, so tightly that his knuckles were white and he whined, frowning.

"T-Tae," you tried to speak, but Jungkook was fucking you so roughly your whole body was jostling with his thrusts and making it hard to even get a word out.

Taehyung's ears twitched at the sound of his name, but he couldn't pull his eyes away from the sight they were glued on.

You wanted to jerk him off, taking pity on him, but when you began reaching back for his cock, Jungkook growled in disapproval and suddenly draped himself back over your body. One hand holding his weight up on the bed and the other going to rest on your stomach.

He pressed his hand into your lower stomach and growled lowly in your ear. The pressure was tantalizing, emphasing the feel of his cock rubbing against your walls from within.

"My pups are gonna be in here. Mine, you're my bitch." He decided to remind you once again and the sharpest stab of arousal made your stomach clench from the reminder, and it was also that moment when you felt the familiar sting down at your entrance. The tell tale sensation of his knot beginning to form.

It was that added stretch whenever he would shove his knot passed your entrance and then pull it back out. It would catch on your entrance the more it grew but he would just thrust especially hard to fit it in and then yank his hips back to pop it back out and repeat the process.

This was the part where it was clear you were not made to take a hybrid's cock, even though whenever you'd voice that realization, Jungkook and Taehyung were quick to assure you that whenever you got pregnant with their pups they would be able to fit through your vagina so technically their knot should be no problem for you to handle.

Needless to say, even if that was true, it was definitely easier said than done.

"Jungkook!" You cried out, feeling that familiar urge to tap out as you buried your face in the covers. But despite the pain, your stomach still swirled warmly in the direction of a release and oddly enough, the arousal and pain blended into something delicious and overwhelming.

And then, Jungkook gave the hardest thrust yet and popped his knot into your entrance, the action causing you to gasp sharply. But you knew this time, it was in you to stay. Because Jungkook didn't try to yank his hips back like before, instead he grind into you with a purpose, hips flushed with your ass.

The swirling warmth in the pit of your stomach began to intensify at how full you felt, and not to mention you could feel the way his knot rubbed snugly against your walls and hitting every sugary spot you could imagine.

No human man could ever make you feel this way.

And just the thought of that, coupled with the incredible feeling of being filled to the brim, was enough to send you spiraling into the most sweetest high. The feeling of heaven flushing throughout your limbs and caressing your stomach and lower back, making your toes curl and mouth pop open as you welcomed it with fervor.

The sensation of your walls clenching and clenching and your thighs quivering in an attempt to keep yourself up was what finally coaxed Jungkook into coming. Releasing his thick seed deep within you as his chest rumbled with a deep content growl, his face nuzzling into your temple and hips continuing to move in small little grind to milk himself dry inside of you.

There was so much cum, he was still releasing into you and it always amazed you how completely stuffed you were afterwards. Filled up completely by Jungkook, every inch inside of you.

"Fuck," you whimpered, letting out a shaky breath and the small little noise made Jungkook wrap both arms around your middle in an attempt to comfort you as he lapped at your face, but you were now supporting both of your weight and you let out a helpless noise at the pressure on your upper body. "Jungkook, please you're squishing me,"

And he gave you one last lick before placing his hands back onto the bed and picking his weight up off of you.

You looked back over your shoulder at him, wondering what he looked like after such an intense fuck since you basically never had sex facing each other. You always had to be on your hands and knees, in the proper breeding position, Taehyung and Jungkook proclaimed.

The sight nearly made you orgasm all over again. Sweat soaked his hairline and was dripping down the sides of his face, coupled with hooded eyes and parted lips as he breathed heavily from the previous exertion. There was a slight furrow between his eyebrows, making him look like the sexiest thing you've ever witnessed. And as if the whole thing couldn't get better, he tilted his head back slightly and sniffed at the air, hips twitching afterwards.

"Smells good. Just like it always does when my bitch gets bred."

You moaned, feeling fucking aroused all over again because of Jungkook and his damn filthy, blatant words.

When you propped yourself up back onto your elbows, your sore knees were brought to your attention and you were just about to ask Jungkook if he could arrange you two on your sides like usual but thats when you suddenly felt something.

Something little and faint down at your entrance, that was there and gone within a quick second.

Jungkook suddenly went tense above you and then you felt it again. This time, you realized it was wet and warm, prodding and swiping around the area tentatively.

"Taehyung," you suddenly said with a shaky exhale. Not asking for his attention, but just voicing your realization that the odd sensation was him.

He was positioned behind you and Jungkook, head angled between your legs in order to lap around your sensitive center. He always did this after Jungkook knotted you, enjoying the new juices that your climaxes provided while also offering his numbing/healing saliva. Aiding with any soreness you felt, but it was mainly for Jungkook. Whenever you couldn't feel Taehyung's tongue, you knew he had veered off to the base of Jungkook's cock and was licking at the little part of his knot that could be seen from inside of your vagina. Their knots were always sensitive and sore afterwards so they would help each other out and lick them to ease the dull ache since they couldn't reach their own.

Jungkook released a deep breath, his body seeming to relax along with it. He crowded you forwards and then dropped his weight down onto his hip on the mattress, moving the two of you so you would be on your sides.

Taehyung whined at the loss, trying to follow the irresistible taste and Jungkook just rolled his eyes tiredly when he got you both situated and then he slipped his hand under your inner thigh so he could heft your leg into the air that way for Taehyung. The eldest hybrid re-positioned himself and dove back in, licking at you both once more eagerly.

You were so exhausted all of the sudden, Jungkook always did a number on you when you fucked. It was go big or go home for him all the time when it came to sex, which you had no complaints about whatsoever. But golly, it sure tired you out.

Practically numb to Taehyung's tongue at this point, you just rested your head on the pillow and gazed tiredly down at him working, enjoying the feeling of both of your lovers so close to you.

And before you knew it, your eyes were slipping closed and the last thing you remembered before dozing off was Jungkook growling softly and easing your leg down, telling Taehyung to let you rest.

You awoke to the sun shining straight into your eyes and you moaned, turning your head away from the light. But the innocent morning sunlight was definitely not what roused you from sleep, and quite frankly, not what made you moan either.

Opening one eye and peeking down, you saw a mop of brown hair between your legs, fluffy ears perked up.

"Taehyung," you whispered, biting your lip and frowning at the over-sensitivity of his tongue lapping at your clit.

Realizing you were awake, he looked up at you and his tail began to wag in excitement. He pulled himself up, whining and your eyes fell to the large bulge in his pajama pants.

His hips stuttered, seeking out friction.

"Please, before Jungkook wakes up," he pleaded desperately, giving you the literal puppy dog eyes as the cherry on top.

You yawned, stretching your muscles and wondering how the hell you allowed those eyes to have such a strong effect on you as you rolled over onto your knees. You kept your head on the pillow, hugging it and closing your eyes, feeling Taehyung moving around behind you.

Good morning world, you thought humorously as you arched your back and poked your ass into the air.

#jungkook scenarios #taehyung scenarios #jungkook smut #taehyung smut #bts scenarios #bts hybrid #dogboy!tae #dogboy!jungkook #itttmttgr

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cake-of-awesome · 6 years ago

Text

kinda came to an obvious revelation yesterday?

yesterday i was at the department i work part time at, one of my coworkers had just gotten some photos back from a photoshoot they had last week and they were compiling them into a 3d program for their new VR project they were working on

throughout the process various other members on the team were hovering over the persons desk, talking about what was going on, and how things were turning out and just being genuinely excited for this development

one guy was literally like, “this is what i went to school for! i mean its totally different cause at school everyone’s students and trying to figure it out- but this! this is the real deal! this is the real professional stuff i wanted to see back then!”

and it made me realize this is how theyre able to put in 12 hours even when it sucks. these people like what they do. sure they might not like the entire process of having to remake their work 6 times a day or having to go to meetings with people who have no idea what they want but theres a genuine enjoyment in the process of creating.

and i myself have no idea if i do or not.

im still having trouble enjoying things. im getting better at identifying things i dont like i think. but its still hard to motivate myself to sit down and do the things i remember liking.

im trying to be active in roleplays but im at the point now where i have to force myself to reply which sucks cause i have so little time to do that.i guess i should just drop them but part of my clings to the hope ill fine enjoyment once things pick up. most of my rps are in discord now and theyre all so slow compared to live rps from chatroom days.

same goes for drawing. most days i just force myself to work on my comics, if im lucky. yesterday i got depressed cause i drew so little compared to past years, which is dumb since ive drawn less because i work fulltime and now im a mentor for highschools students so OF COURSE id have less time to produce finished stuff but still...

i do enjoy hanging out with the circle of friends i’ve made. though half the time all we do is drink and complain about work. and game, i guess thats a positive. its a lot easier to play games when you have others to play with ive noticed. im not sure if thats the secret ingredient to everything else i used to enjoy but it might be a secret to something.

some rps arent as fun since it isnt live, theres not that OOC talk to laugh at the bullshit in same time

i dont draw anything other than my comics because i havent had that loop of feedback like when i was in art school or in past rp groups, i probably would have given up on this webcomic long ago if it wasnt for the fact i was in an oct and theres so many wonderfully talented individuals to keep my motivated to continue it

and maybe part of the reason im iffy about my enjoyment of work is because im still pretty frigid with the team after that whole logo episode. (which turns out they werent laughing at me but the person i was working under)

the people there are nice, so i guess i should relax and try to warm up to them more? or wait? i dont know. i just know im tired.

#whispers

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ayusaurus · 6 years ago

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A somewhat depressive vent, feel free to keep scrolling. I’m on mobile and can’t put it under a read more, but I need to vent about it rn because a lot of this is really eating me up inside at the moment and I’m afraid of keeping it in more

I am... admittedly, feeling a lot more lonely than I ever have in my life

And it really sucks because the one person I am really close with lives literally on the other side of the world and al my other friends live in different parts of the country. I feel bad because I know he’s out there living his best life and I am so happy for that, but gosh rn esp I am afraid of being forgotten about or our connection just decreasing, and i feel so shitty even thinking it, but I do feel envious of the chances he’s had to get out there and meet people and talk with them and hang out. I do feel comforted by the fact that he does wish I could be there and stuff and I really am happy that he’s able to make friends. I’m just afraid of my own loneliness getting in the way of our friendship and feeling resentful about my loneliness that it transfers into our friendship as anger and stuff. I don’t want that because he is really someone I appreciate and don’t ever want to lose from my life for something as shitty as my depression getting in the way of that and affecting my behaviors. Cause I still wanna be supportive of him doing that and I really am happy for him and respect him as a person

I don’t even remotely know how to open up to people anymore and my heart just aches. It’s like I have troubles letting my guard down. I’d like to try to become close to people who I used to be close to, but it just feels like a really hard feat atm. I guess I’m also scared because there’s been so much that’s happened and I know the boundaries and the connection of those friendships just won’t ever feel the same. Which is a good thing because there were some not so good parts that I don’t want to repeat, but also awkward because I just don’t know how to talk with them anymore.

I’m trying my best to make new friends irl, but it’s been really difficult. My college is a community college and there’s like really no chance to talk with any of my classmates or do any kind of student bonding activities, and when I try to start up conversation, idk if I just can’t relate to them or if my trying to be friendly is rubbing off as being ‘desperate’ or what, but it just feels like it did when I was in high school and just... couldn’t really make friends again. I was hoping college would be the break I needed to try and make new friends, but that hasn’t been the case.

My ex and I are, I guess what you could call friends rn, but we are trying to limit how much we talk because of the fact that we live together and are trying to also heal from the breakup. But admittedly he’s probably gotten over it faster than I have because of how our relationship had really only been one in title for the last couple of years... I just feel like I fucked up a lot of that too, let alone some previous friendships.

I signed up for a service called cuddlecomfort due to how touch starved I’ve been and had the chance to go cuddle someone tonight but I decided against it. One because of my Demi-sexuality, and two because the thought of just someone cuddling me when I don’t even know them, made me feel nervous and weird and just scared beyond belief. In some ways I just also feel more frustrated abt myself because it highlights so much that’s going on in my life rn to make me feel more alone and it really hurts.

To be honest I think internally I’ve felt lonely for a long time but I’ve just always been able to find things to fill the void enough that it hasn’t bothered me. I used to RP a lot, used to have a good group of ppl to chat with, used to have a decent relationship with my ex, used to have a whole lot and now, I just don’t feel like I have very much at all. I just feel so inexplicably broken as a person and individual that I just... I just don’t even know how to be a person anymore. Art hasn’t brought me any joy, writing hasn’t, gaming hasn’t, everything that normally does, doesn’t. I’ve pushed away friends and help enough to the point that I don’t think they want to try to reach out. And I don’t blame them for that because I know if I were in that position, it’d be frustrating to try and help someone who’s doesn’t seem receptive to the help. I also can’t really afford therapy atm either so that’s not an option right now.

I just kind of feel like a small child just tucked away in a very dark corner right now and if I’m being honest with myself, it’s getting a lot harder to care about my own life. And I absolutely hate admitting that or even saying it because it means I’m relapsing back into depression. It means I’m relapsing back to that. Right now, if I’m being honest, there are very, very few things that are keeping me holding on to pushing forward. And that scares me to know that because I haven’t felt in the pit of a depressive episode since about the end of 2016/beginning of 2017. I think the difference is, that then, I had reasons to fight for keeping on. Right now, not as much, sadly. I want to be able to say I’m strong enough on my own, but I am not. But I also don’t know how to let others in either... I think I’m just really scared of being hurt again when I’ve been hurting for a longer time than I’ve been willing to admit. I’m also feeling angry at myself because I wORKED SO FUCKING HARD LAST YEAR TO GET PAST ALL OF THIS IN THE THERAPY I WAS ABLE TO GET BUT IVE JUST REGRESSED BACK A LOT AND IM JUST... I am just... idk...

#depression #negative #i al sorry i cant pht this under a read more right now #i am hoping today gets better #please let it get better #its obky 11:08 am #i just dont want to feel this negativity anymore #i dont want to feel resentful for people being happy and all of that #i am scared im gonna ruin friendships again #im scared im gonna ruin things again #im hnestly really just scared and alone #vent

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spitelout · 7 years ago

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As that makes sense, thank you for answering my questions! => Hmm this one might be a weird one but if when the gang have a run in with a new dragon who's breath has the ability to de-age anything it touches for a limited amount of time, how would Spitelout react to his son conning back a toddler again and staying that way for a few days? Espicially if his now toddler son would want/need his attention so often?

He would be unbelieving at first, then angry, it would probably take him a bit to realize Baby Snotlout doesn’t have his memory intact, hes just a baby again….Then he would fall right back into his old dad ways, making silly noises while trying to teach him how to use his bludgeon properly all over.

Because what greater pride is there in the Jorgensen family than to train the young to be just as good as their parents =3

He probably isn’t the most responsible parent, however. I mean…neither was Stoick, they both gave their children deadly weapons as their first gifts.

He was probably rougher than most people, I can see him putting Snotlout with Terrible Terrors to make them play fight and then beaming with pride over any scars the toddler might receive in the tussle.However, I can also see him reassuring the toddler as they cry that this is a good thing, that they will grow into a strong warrior and be able to tell the tale of when they beat a dragon as a baby. (In fact, I think thats where the idea of Stoick killing a dragon with his bare hands as a baby came from…exaggerated scar stories. It probably happened about the same way….with a Terrible Terror.)

Tbh, if such an event occurred, Hookfang would probably have to take over caring for the reborn Snotlout because I just dont believe Spitelout is capable of being a responsible adult with babies, he doesn’t understand how fragile they ARE compared to what they CAN BE.He, among other vikings in the tribe, were probably the type to put several babies in a ring and watch them fight.Vikings are communal - even in parenting, so its possible he often left Snotlout with anyone willing to watch him….The twins parents come to mind - which is probably why they spend so much time together as teens as well, they were raised together.However, its possible Snotllouts mother died later in his life and she raised him until he was able to walk and follow his father around. Perhaps she raised the tins as well - they do mention they’re orphans, but -shrugs- their pasts are pretty clouded in mystery too.

Unfortunately, with this in mind, the twins would probably convince Spitelout to let them watch baby Snotlout for a bit and…I think we can all guess how that would go.

Lets just hope Hookfang isn’t affected by this as well, bc that baby is going to need a guardian angel - especially a five ton angel of fangs and flame

Also , since your ask was so specific, heres a sorta drabble based around it.

————————————————————————

There are few things that can surprise Spitelout these days, very few, but as the small viking - no, chieftain, Hiccup, stood awkwardly before him, he found himself at a loss. Hiccup was always presenting the tribe with surprises, and now, it seemed, he was presenting a very personal one to him.

Curious, and perhaps a bit bemused by the awkward chieftains shuffling he began the conversation, “What brings the chief of Berk to my door today?”

Hiccup scratched the back of his neck as he looked between the ground and Spitelouts gaze, “Uuuuuuh,” He took a deep breath and let it out, “Spitelout…” There was something heavy on his mind and he didn’t seem to know how to get it out.

“Yes, I am he. go on, boyyo.”

“While we were out exploring the islands, we encountered a dragon we had never seen before, it was amazing, it was - - ” Hiccup never had been the best at getting to the point, but Spitelout let him ramble; the lad really liked his tales, Stoick had too….

Luckily, Astrid stepped in, ah, what a great lass, always straight to the point. “What hes trying to say is, we found a new dragon and Snotlout being Snotlout, well,…” she trailed off, biting her lip as she held out a tightly wrapped bundle towards him, a Snotlouts helm delicately placed atop it.

Spitelout felt his brow furrow as his gaze trailed down to the bundle. There was a tightness in his chest that he refused to acknowledge. Had his boy really gotten himself-

He glanced up as Snotlouts Monstrous Nightmare waddled into view, it seemed anxious, but not particularly upset. Strange, that.

He became plagued with wary curiosity.

“Hes a bit…shorter than when we left this morning,” Astrid continued at last, a light chuckle in her voice,

He took the bundle in one burly hand and gingerly unwrapped it with the other.

He looked back up at the pair, who continued to watch him warily and awkwardly at the same time, he furrowed his brows deeper, trying to decipher what sort of game or joke they were playing at. He looked to them fr answers.

“Spitelout, this- this is your son.”

Spitelout chuckled heartily, it was just some game they were playing, strange, he always assumed they were different from the twins. “I only ave the one, boyyo, don’t think I could handle anotha.”

“No, Spitelout, that is - this is Snotlout.” Hiccup insisted. “the dragon he battled had this strange…” he struggled to find words, “venom, I guess is the best word for it, that, when inhaled, reverses the aging process and turns people back into younger versions of themselves.”

Spitelout critically searched their faces for the lie, then stared down at the child in his hands, it looked back at him with familiar grey eyes.

“Gothi says theres a cure, but we have to find all the parts.” Hiccup hesitated, choosing his words carefully. “Until then, you need to take care of him…”

“Alrigh, Ill play your lil game, ” he sighed good-heartedly. He found it hard to believe such a thing could really happen, “But if ye needed babysitta, all ye had to do was ask.”

Hiccup began to protest, but Astrid stopped him, pulling him away with one last wary glance behind her and leading him to their dragons.

Spitelout shook his head as their shadows vanished in the horizon, it seemed the pair still had a ways to go before they became parents of their own. He looked back down at the child and wiggled his fingers near their face making silly noises as he did so. The child gripped his fingers tightly, and a seed of doubt entered his mind.

—————

He was angry at first, pacing the room as the Monstrous Nightmare coiled itself around the child and watched him carefully he didn’t doubt that the thing would light the entire archipelago on fire just to protect Snotlout, but he wasn’t concerned by its low rumble.

“Ow could you go an be so brash!” he scolded loudly, “I ave told yew time and time again, ye cant jus rush in blind!”

“Now, Look at ye! Reduced to - to this! Well I ave news fer yew, Im not changing that diaper. Yew can change it yerself!”

The child sniffled, a cry beginning to bark from their throat.

“Oh don’t start yer cryin, Ive told ye about this before. Were Jorgensens! We don’t cry! We make other people cry!” he tried to sound harsh, but there was a softness edging into his voice as tears streamed down the childs face.

The Monstrous Nightmare was growling now, a full fledged snarl that bared every single dagger-point fang in his head.

“Oi don’t ye start! Where were yewwhen this happened anyway?”

The dragon bulked at the accusation and simmered back into a low rumble.

Spitelout sighed as the childs screams ripped through his home. He wasn’t angry, he was frustrated, frustrated at himself.

Freya help him, he couldn’t raise a child alone.

Ignoring the dragon he plucked Snotlout from its coils and sang him the Jorgensen lullaby.

————————————————–

“its just wee scratch,” he reassured his son as the toddler screeched and flailed away from the terrible Terror. “Hopefully it will scar and then yewll have a story to tell when ye get older!”

The baby sniffled unconvinced, but curious.

“Ye can tell em you got it grappling a berserker who tried ta kidnap the prodigy of the Jorgensens!”

The baby lit up as his father articulated this cheerily with his hands.

“But no one kin take a Jorgensen from the place he calls home, no one!”

————————————————————————

He was happy to play father again, really he was, up until day three had passed and neither Astrid nor Hiccup had returned.

He was a busy man, incredibly busy, and also incredibly tired.

Did babies normally cry this much?

Spitelout did his best to comfort the babe, but it didnt seem Snotlout understood how great it was to be a Jorgensen, couldn’t see what a great warrior he would be one day….had been….

———————————————

There was a ruckus upstairs, a series of dragon shrieks and the smell of burning wood. There were startled screams and the screams of a woken baby.

Spitelout rushed upstairs, ax at the ready as he prepared to defend his son.

the screaming stopped when he got halfway up, the house became eerily quiet, and chill went through him followed by a burning in his gut. Whatever was up there better have prayed to whatever god they believed in that no harm had come to his son.

Voices reached his ears, soft but with an annoying edge to it, the twins.

“Hes so cute now that he cant hit us~” Tuffnut purred as he let the small Snotlout play with his braids.

“Yea, and now that he cant talk!” Ruffnut laughed.

“Oh, hey, Spitey” Tuffnut noted blankly, unapologetic in the damage they had caused. “Mind if we take Snotlout out for a midnight flight?”

————————————–

Edit: Annnnnd sorry but I ran out of juice here. -shrugs loudly- Its 1 am, I spent too much time on this as is. X3

#The mun answers #Headcanons

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cyrelia-j · 7 years ago

Text

[Ficlet] A Gift for my Darling IV (mirror Garak/Bashir/Parmak)

Somehow this thing got plot-y. When it's all said and done I'll likely clean it up and throw it on AO3 in a more proper setting but sometimes I kinda regard Tumblr as like my own personal kink meme or something.

Previous parts are here:

One, Two, Three

Summary: [Dark slavefic] Julian Bashir was given to the mad Doctor Parmak as a present by his lover Garak and altered in ways that he'd find horrifying if he still had all his memories and feelings. As time has gone on Garak has to his dismay become a bigger part of the picture than he'd like. Why can't his life just be simple?

WARNINGS: non consensual body modification, body horror, slave fic, dark, mentions of violence and torture, jut some weird shit, explicit sexual content both consensual and rape/non con (I’m putting the non con warning extra here because Julian’s [unreliable] narration expresses mainly acceptance/joy about his current situation and events but it’s important to note that it's only because his mind/self has been altered into it not because he actually is/was able to consent to anything done to him), also kind of OOC that’s explained and it’s mirror universe but still yeah OOC although Mirror Julian is still a prick

For those still with me:

Julian drops the body at Garak’s feet making him jump. He stretches languidly with a loud exaggerated purr of satisfaction. “Guls! Are you trying to kill me with a heart attack now?” Garak asks looking up from the couch. It’s newly bolted down to the floor which Julian finds a bit disappointing but he has other ways to amuse himself with Garak. Doctor Parmak had scolded them both and said that the officers below were complaining about the noise. Julian asked if they couldn’t just fucking kill them and be done with it. But no, his doctor said that he and Garak (Julian laughed when Garak was included in that lecture) had to learn to have more consideration for the others on the station. Garak found some reason to have them executed a few weeks later- collusion with the Terran rebels, Julian thinks- but Doctor Parmak still ordered all the living room furniture bolted down. Julian had sulked but Garak decided to be unusually nice about it. It was a bit of a let down really.

Julian had thought perhaps with the noise complaint he might instead be permitted to spend more time with Doctor Parmak but again, the three of them just ended up moving to a larger suite of rooms. Julian doesn’t care for the smell. There’s lingering Klingon but it’s been lessening they more they use the rooms. Julian’s been spending more time out anyway. Doctor Parmak had praised him for leading them all right to the would be escapees although he admitted to his doctor later that he really had just been looking for him since The Intendant’s soiree was such a miserable affair and Garak wasn’t even playing with him or paying him any attention. Nonetheless, Doctor Parmak thought he might be able to amuse himself by monitoring the conduits and other station ducts.

He was right, Julian has been having a bloody marvelous time. He’s made a game of it really- he mentally marks off certain “kill zones” and then waits until he sees rats scurrying about in them. At first it was merely Terrans trying to conduct some secret business here and there. But then he noticed something interesting; the Terrans had gotten wise to something up in the conduits and had taken to occasionally lure Cardassians or Klingons into them as well on the off chance that it might prove beneficial. Julian doesn’t discriminate when it comes to the kill zones. That’s what makes the game fun after all. It makes little different to him if the rats might also happen to be lizards. Though he makes sure to gift the Cardassians to Doctor Parmak; Garak doesn’t seem to appreciate being presented with the bodies of his underlings.

Julian kneels next to Garak’s legs and puts his head on his lap looking up. “Brought you a pressie,” he half sings, mouth shut, curved into a wide grin. “This ‘un wasn’t fast enough. Got ‘im by the leg then the throat. Would you like to know what I heard before I broke up their little party?” He shuts his eyes as Garak pets his head absently. “For all the good it will do since I can’t act on any of your information without compromising your spying,” Garak grumbles. “I know this one,” he says looking down at the Terran with a sneer. “He stepped on my boot once. I thought I had him killed,” he murmured absently. “Memory must be slipping in your old age, Garak. You know what they say goes next.” Garak kicks him off and Julian swats at him- carefully of course. He wouldn’t want to upset Doctor Parmak by drawing blood. Again.

“They’ve got someone in communication with the Terran rebels in the badlands. Think I might be able to ferret out who if I make contact with them.” “Yes, I’m sure they’d be all too delighted to share their plans with the creature murdering their colleagues.” Julian shrugs. Garak’s insults don’t particularly bother him they way they used to. “They’re going to take the station sooner or later.” “Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong,” Garak says with another look to the body. He stands up and gives it a good kick. “Because soon enough we’re going to have a way to find their bases.” Julian snorts looking under the sofa for the puzzle he’d been messing with earlier that morning.

“You couldn’t find eternal life with the fucking philosopher’s stone, Garak.” He gives a long catlike stretch, admiring his shiny new arms as he does. Garak had been in a mood after the prisoners escaped before. He’s thrown Julian’s arms into the smelter. Julian really had tried to rip his throat out with his teeth then. Julian likes these better. They’re lighter, they’re stronger, and he can see his reflection in the plates of them. Doctor Parmak said he was working on a synthetic skin for them too but Julian likes them the way they are. They’re beautiful. He likes switching the claws in and out.

“Don’t,” Garak warns just as Julian is about to drag them across the carpet. He rolls his eyes but obeys. “Then why don’t you give me something to do around here? Doctor Parmak can always find me something.” “You’re not spying on the Terrans. Besides, with the guest The Intendant has coming, they won’t be an issue much longer.” “Guest?” Julian asks feeling Garak start to pet up his back, pushing under his shirt. Oh that feels so nice. “Sisko’s ex wife,” Garak crows, giving Julian little scratches. Julian fucking melts. Doctor Parmak was insistent that there was something that Garak was hiding which he wouldn’t dream of sharing with his lover. Julian didn’t understand why his doctor thought that Garak would share vital operations with Julian if he wouldn’t tell him.

But Doctor Parmak knew better and as Garak sits cross legged on the floor and continues petting him he really does tell Julian everything that he needs to know. Christ, Garak is just as fucking stupid as Julian’s always thought. His doctor is right. The Terrans will definitely want this information. A sensor array that can detect their bases would crush the rebellion where it stands. Sisko is already dead and the resistance will crumble with another blow like that. Julian purrs, rolling onto his side when Garak rolls him, his fingers playing with the sensitive scar tissue of his neck. It hurts when Garak does it too hard but he does it nice and soft this time telling him what a good kitty he is. Julian would sooner die than admit it but he might actually miss Garak a bit when they’re gone...

“You’re really going through with this?” Garak asks him with an incredulous look. Parmak leans down and turns off the sleeping Julian’s hearing. Garak only takes a moment before his eyes narrow. “And of course your pet told you everything.” Parmak shoots him a small smile. “People will say things in front of animals that they wouldn’t dream of otherwise.” He answers slowly starting to unbraid his hair. Garak watches the ritual the way he always has. “He’s not actually a cat, Kelas. I’m well aware that anything I say in front of him will go straight back to you.” Which then begs the question of why he told him in the first place. “You’ve done something to him to cause that sort of loose tongued relaxation, haven’t you?”

“Really, what haven’t I done to him? Or you... or even myself for that matter. You act as if I wouldn’t willingly sacrifice my own body for science either…” Parmak sighs and starts to unfasten his tunic. “Does it matter Elim?” Parmak stops and looks at Garak’s mouth thoughtfully. “Oh! That reminds me, you really ought to be careful about kissing him. A cat’s mouth is an unfortunate hotbed of bacteria.” Garak puts his fingers to his mouth. Sometimes they tingle when he and Julian are rough. Sometimes they burn. Now that he thinks about it… “Ulcartic virus,” Kelas supplies with a twitch of his shoulder mimicking a Terran shrug.

“Are you insa-?!” Garak immediately stops before completing that word seeing Parmak freeze. Parmak has always been somewhat sensitive about it. Garak clears his throat. “I might question your choice of modification in this instance,” he continues carefully. “You’re probably well on your way to being immune now if you aren’t already, though you do have my apologies for the illnessness you’ve suffered these past months.” Garak could complain, but he knows it’s futile. He isn’t certain that Parmak is actually capable of really feeling things like guilt. “I think it’s been quite an effective inoculation, myself.”

Of course. Because Parmak didn’t have Julian biting, sucking, spit swapping and a million other things; despite what he says, Parmak would have been far more careful with his own body. “You’re welcome,” Parmak adds as an afterthought. “You were saying about my leaving though?” “You’re going to get us all killed,” Garak says flatly. Parmak laughs. “Mmm, no, that’s where you’re mistaken. I thought I explained it to you but perhaps you weren’t listening which was an oversight on my part I’m sure. I’m sure I shouldn’t tell you these things mid coitus. But really Elim, you’re so insatiable, when should I say them to you?”

The tunic slides from his shoulders and Parmak is right. Garak is already painfully heated by him. But Garak isn’t the one who’s insatiable. “Just because your lusts are limitless Kelas, I don’t see why you need to infect the rest of us with your Northerner’s disease.” “Don’t be such a bigot. It’s unbecoming of you. I know you all look down on us, Garak. You all find us weak because we lack your discipline of mind but you know. I like to think that we have something you Southerners lack.” Parmak pulls the undershirt off and faces him about to unfasten his trousers- but then he stops with a tilt of his head.

Parmak watches Garak shift on the seat and he smiles, pleased at the efficacy of his little modifications. Garak really shouldn’t have invited him to share his bed so freely if he didn’t want to embrace the risk. That Garak should expect to remain in Parmak’s presence unconscious, asleep, or otherwise incapacitated, believing himself safe simply because Parmak has kept him alive far longer than any of his other lovers is laughable. Parmak has always seen the world as an endless source of things for him to play with; whether they want it or not.

“Undress me, Elim,” he says softly with a flick of his tongue. “I think I’ve serviced you enough the last few months that it wouldn’t be untoward to expect a bit out of you in return.” Parmak waits for Garak to get on his knees and start unfastening the trousers in his place. Garak is quick, his fingers shaking as he tries to go faster. Whatever Parmak has done to him in the last few weeks, months (for all he knows the “medicine” Parmak gave to treat his “minor cold may have been it) it’s effective. “Mmm, I do adore you, Elim. You’re ambitious but not too ambitious. You’re smart but not too smart.”

Parmak looks down at him with a gentle pet to his hair. He pushes his spectacles up. He doesn’t need to wear them any longer but he enjoys them. He enjoys the slow shuffle down the hall as the officers defer to him- as they get out of the way of the fragile old man like he was a Legate. That’s another one of Parmaks little games that he enjoys. “And you love my hair, don’t you?” It drops down his back in a fall of white, like the desert of Nokar Garak will sometimes say when he’s feeling poetic. Garak likes to hold Parmak’s hair hard while he fucks him.

“What are you planning Kelas?” Garak gasps sliding trousers down, mouth to the swollen damp scales of his ajan. “Do you promise that you’ll listen this time? I should hate to have to repeat myself though I know it’s not quite your fault I…” Parmak hisses as Garak’s tongue laps at his slit. “Don’t stop,” he rushes as Garak’s wide palms hold his hips. Garak doesn’t stop. Garak licks him again, feeling the swell of those sensitive tissues dampen his lips, feeling the tentative tip of Parmak’s prUt kissing back to his tongue. Garak sucks at it, drawing it out further, Parmak whimpering with a few stutters starts to speak. “Tss… ssss…. Hsss…” Garak feels his legs tremble, and his body may have been engineered thirty years back to its prime but he still shakes helpless when Garak puts his mouth on him or when Garak holds him down and drives into him deep. Garak might not be the genius that Parmak is, but he’s cunning where it counts and more importantly, he knows his old friend’s biggest weaknesses. He loves exploiting them ruthessly.

“Elim,” Parmak pleads, and Garak feels his knees start to buckle, feel him start to sink down, Parmak’s prUt hard, wet, almost fully everted to his mouth. Yes, he knows Parmak’s weakness alright. “Please Elim, please I need you I can’t… please fuck me please fuck me…” It’s laughable. “Please Guls I can’t-” “Oh but I thought you were going to relay the plan again for me- because I’m nowhere near your level of intellect, Doctor Parmak.” Garak sucks him hard, one hand fumbling with the buttons of his trousers. Parmak definitely did something to him because he’s not usually this immediately hard, half everted by Parmak’s taste on his tongue and his scent in the air- not unless it’s by his own design which this definitely is not. He only hopes his prUt still looks halfway normal... Ah Guls, what does it matter if he can still stick it in Parmak’s tight little ass?

“Elim you… you knew… you knew all a…ahhh long…” Of course he did. Garak’s memory is flawless. He knows the plan. He knows that Parmak plans to give the rebels the information that he’s been trying to work out of Garak the last two weeks. He has every intention of seeing the station fall and allying with the rebels or letting them fall right into some trap so that Garak can look like a grand hero and The Intendant an incompetent keeper who needs to be replaced. And either way it saves his own miserable hide though he swears that Elim is every part of the plan. Garak isn’t so sure that he trusts him on that but- “Beg me, Kelas,” Garak rasps leaving Parmak’s trousers around his knees. His thumbs slowly circles Parmak’s chuva, dark, ridges around it flushed and swollen watching his prUt twitch, spilling sticky fluid down the tip helplessly. Parmak half collapses on top of him unbalanced and Garak shoves him backwards to the floor.

“Please… please Elim I-” “You can do better than that, Nokaran slut,” Garak hisses at him. If this is going to be one of their last encounters for a while Garak is going to make sure that Parmak doesn’t forget it any time soon. He can see the heave of Parmak’s chest excited, eager, one hand already tugging his trousers off hurriedly. His body is soft, little definition about it, having always been slim, his legs long and skinny, that small roll of stomach there in middle age all tender and delightful beneath Garak’s mouth- a typical useless scientist body really but… something about his form as a whole, about his eyes, his mouth, that obscene fall of desert white hair...

Or better still, the sight of Parmak turned around his knees presenting for him, showing the deep pink of his filthy little hole for Garak to violate, those eyes slitted and lusty for him, that mouth open panting his name… it’s always undone him. “I need you Elim… I need you to fuck me… I need your prUt in me… I…” “Go on, slut,” Garak crawls over to him a fistful of that long thick hair, eyes swinging over the dark scales around his spine, the dark gray puffy ridges of his neck his shoulders, those weak arms trembling. “Should I make you ride me or should I take you like a bitch? My, Kelas, however do you plan on managing months… years possibly without my prUt buried deep inside you?”

Parmak opens his mouth to answer and Garak reaches forward thrusting his fingers in it roughly. “Are you going to let your little pet fuck you? Are you going to get on your knees like this for your cat and let it mount you?” Parmak sucks his fingers, biting down, teeth scraping, Garak shoving them in so far in return that he nearly gags until Garak takes them away. That extra bit of mucus makes them so nice and wet, so slick that Garak slides them both in his hole so easily.

“You don’t need to lie to me, doctor,” Garak sneers. “Oh you’ll tell yourself that you would never lower yourself to lie with an animal. You’ll tell yourself that the wise and venerable Doctor Kelas Parmak is above such things, but I know you, Kelas and I know what a dirty Northerner slut you are.” Garak drills fingers into him, Parmak rocking back fast, frantic, keening, begging Garak for his prUt, begging for that dirty human word “cock” begging for his “prick”, begging him to fuck him any way he likes and Garak twists his fingers, feeling him clench, seeing his shoulders drop, knowing that Parmak's forearms are crossed, head bowed, chufa rubbing as he bites his lip hard.

“Elim…” hitching high, half strangled, pleading. Parmak is ready for him. Parmak is always ready for him. Garak withdraws his fingers and sucks them off loudly, letting his slick hard prUt slide over that hole. “Yes, just like this, my dear. I don’t give you more than a week without my cock before you’re sucking your little pet off in desperation for release.” “D… Ts... damn you…” Garak teases that greedy little hole letting just the tip suck in, out, hearing Parmak half sobbing as Garak just lets that wide glans open him wider. He’s right; and that’s why Parmak doesn’t even try to deny it. Because if there is one weakness that the Alliance’s most brilliant, most gifted, most deviant and depraved doctor has it’s sex; it’s being fucked. It’s being held down, drilled, pounded so raw, so hard that he can’t even breathe… Just like this.

And Garak is the best at it.

(Part 5 now up here)

#star trek ds9 #star trek deep space nine #ds9 fanfic #mirror universe #dark and twisted #Julian Bashir #kelas parmak #elim garak #Garak/Bashir/Parmak #see warnings #fanfic #cyrelia-j

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