thunderous-desperado

[thunderous-desperado]

saw this thread and really loved it but what i liked most is that it taught this kid that if a book isn’t for you, even if you really want to like it, it’s okay to stop reading it and come back to it another time when you are ready. there were so many books i slogged through as a kid because i felt like i had to prove that i could read them since i *loved* reading so i simply had to finish this book or i didn’t actually love to read. silly, really. the more kids who don’t ascribe to that thinking the better. really great of both the dad and the librarian for allowing the kid access to the stephen king book and allowing him make the decision on whether or not it was for him by himself.

[thunderous-desperado]

[thunderous-desperado]

you have to outlive donald trump

[thunderous-desperado]

Batman VS Everyone

If Batman gets prep time, so does everyone else

[thunderous-desperado]

[thunderous-desperado]

The Batgirls on their Periods at the Same Time

Context: This is probably some ooc and if that bothers you just scroll on by. It's cool, silly fics like this depicting the batfamily in this manner isn't for everybody but don't leave hate comments if this bothers you. This is posted here because it's more shorter and just feels like it would work here 😊 Oh and I wrote this while on my period. We go through out periods in different ways. The batgirls and batwoman are expys of that and this is how the male members of their family handle it. This is for all my girlie pops that have to deal with this curse. Let's dive in!

Dick (walking over to Barbara): Hey, Barb, you sent me a few angry texts. Did I make you mad about something I'm unaware of?

Barbara (seething): Yes! Remember that triple chocolate cake I had leftover? You’d better buy me a new one!

Barbara deliberately rolled over Dick's foot while muttering an impressive assortment of curse words.

Dick (complaining): Ow! You said I could have it!

Barbara (voice filled with the fury of a thousand angry souls): Lies! Get me a new one, or I'm ignoring you for the rest of the day, including during comms tonight! You greedy ass! Hold off on the sweets, fat ass!

Dick (furrowing his brows, angry): Fat ass? Rude! Jesus over some cake? I'll buy you another one... after I ice my foot. You freakin’ jerk.

Barbara (over her shoulder with a smirk): Cake thief!

Tim silently listened to the argument while he sat at the kitchen table. Dick sat down, rubbing his sore foot.

Tim (confused): Hm... Have the girls been acting… a little on edge lately?

Dick (hesitating): I hadn’t really noticed until my foot became a casualty. What have you seen?

Tim: Barbara seems to be irritated with everything around her and Stephanie has been eerily quiet and distant today, which is unlike her. Bruce asked her if she wanted to patrol a different part of Gotham, and she just growled at him... which is close to how she usually acts.

Dick: Hm… that's odd.

Just then, Stephanie Brown trudged into the kitchen, wearing an oversized shirt and jogger pants, looking like she had just escaped from some form of medieval torture.

Stephanie (almost a whisper): I’m watching cat videos. Don’t bother me and let Duke know I'm really sorry for the many hurtful words I said.

Tim (coolly while stirring his tea): He said it's fine and he'll return in a few days.

Stephanie nodded with an understanding 'mm-hm'.

Stephanie: Oh and tell Bruce I’m covering the other part of town tonight, just need to be wrapped in blanket for next few hours.

Tim (nodding): You got it, bestie.

Stephanie grunted a 'thank you' and shuffled out of the kitchen.

Tim: She hasn’t snapped at me too much.

Dick (worried): Hm… wait, wait, wait... Duke left? This isn’t the time, is it?

Tim (tilting his head): Time for what?

Dick (leaning in dramatically): No, no, no- Wait, we might be in the clear if Cass and Kate don't have there's.

Tim (looking confused): Have what?

Dick: You poor summer child.

Dick sighed, shaking his head, while Tim shrugged nonchalantly, blissfully unaware of the tale as old as time: period sync-up.

---------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Jason heard a knock at his door. He opened it to find his older sister, Cass, standing there, wringing her hands nervously. She bit her lip, a worried expression on her face.

Cass (waving quickly): Hi, Jason.

Jason: Hey, Cass. Everything okay? You seem stressed.

Cass (bashfully): Do I? Yeah, um, my… Aunt Flo is visiting, my caregiver never took the time to- I hate when she visits, but I need to go to the store for supplies… I don’t want to go alone. You’re the only one I trust to take me.

Jason (confused): You don’t have an Aunt Flo, and what supplies do you need to meet her?

Cass (frowning): Oh… oh dear, you don't get it. Um, my crimson tide… has arrived?

Jason: Crimson… what now?

Cass (losing patience): My period is on! I need to buy tampons or pads before I bleed and ruin my sheets again! I'm literally wearing the last tampon, Selina is on vacation-

Jason (covering her mouth): All right, got it! The message is crystal clear now. Okay, stand there, I’ll grab my keys.

As Jason went to his living room to get his backpack, Cass stepped inside, surprised he’d actually agreed to take her to the store.

Cass: Wait, you’re not… weirded out by this?

Jason: I’m friends with Artemis. I’ve seen things, it makes me squeamish at times, but that might be because I've never went through it... thank God. Austen can keep watch while I'm gone.

Austen the cat meowed to confirm that as he rested in a carboard box.

Jason (heading outside): Now let’s get you those supplies.

Cass clapped eagerly, following Jason to his car, clearly relieved.

-----------------------------------

Back at Wayne Manor, Dick waited for his father to pick up while Tim sat in perplexed silence.

Dick (calling Bruce): Bruce, are the girls on their periods?

Tim (gasping dramatically): Oh, that’s what it is!

Dick (clearly irritated): Jesus Christ, Tim. Duke figured it out!

Tim (defending himself): I've been distracted lately.

Bruce (calm): Hm… that explains why Stephanie snapped at me and why Barbara cussed me out… I’m a little too familiar with that sort of thing. I don't blame Duke for taking a week off, he texted me earlier about that. So yes, they definitely are. Cass is probably on board for that ride too. Women can sync up with their menstrual cycles like a well-oiled machine.

Kate's laughter could be heard in the background along with Bruce groaning.

Tim (stammering): How does he-- Bruce, how do you know that?

Bruce (slightly uncomfortable): Selina is very informative… and Harley is a treasure trove of knowledge. Trust me, you learn a thing or two. Just go easy on them, and they won’t bite your head off. You didn’t do anything to tick them off, did you?

Dick (ice pack firmly planted on his foot): ... I may have done something to make Babs upset.

Tim (grinning proudly): I have not, so I’m doing good!

Bruce: Well, like I said, don’t do anything else stupid, Dick.

Dick: I’ll try not to.

----------------------------------

With that, Bruce ended the call, sighed, and turned to his cousin Kate, aka Batwoman, who sat in the passenger seat with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face.

Bruce: And then there’s you.

Kate (coolly): Yeah, just going to ignore me? No mention of the four-way sync-up?

Bruce: I’m ignoring a lot right now especially involving you. I’m a master at many things—women syncing menstrual cycles is not one of them.

Kate (nodding sagely): Trust me, women don’t get it either.

Bruce: Let’s at least get you your monthly period supplies.

Kate (squirming): Could you not call it that?

Bruce (mockingly): Could you be actually prepared next time and not drag me out of work?

Kate (swiping her hand like a cat): Ooh, catty? Maybe you’re on your month as well.

Bruce (chuckling dryly): You’re hilarious, let me tell ya.

Kate: I cope with humor. Now get out of the car. Also, you’re buying me lunch today.

Bruce (sardonic): Oh, fantastic. I definitely wanted to treat you while you’re on your period. Now, let’s get your supplies before you fashion a makeshift cape out of my car seat.

[thunderous-desperado]

Damian is standing behind the couch where the family is watching TV, hitting the "that show is so stupid" pose, but won't move. Big city girl is falling in love with country boy.

Suddendly Bruce enters the room: "Kids, that Christmas Eve we are with the Kents. Pack your luggaes we're going to Smallville."

Damian: NO WE'RE NOT !

[thunderous-desperado]

Duke being adopted made him Duke Thomas-Wayne , but then you can write it Duke Thomas Wayne.

Bruce legal name is Bruce Thomas Wayne.

Duke never had a choice but to be added to the collection.

[thunderous-desperado]

Never forget what they(the new52) took from you

[thunderous-desperado]

Steph’s not part of the family.

The Wayne family, that is. That’s obvious enough. At the end of the day, where she packs up her things and rides the bus home or jumps across the empty space between roofs, she goes home to her own mother and creaking bed and stained carpet.

There’s still a room in Wayne Manor that is right across from Cass’s, and just two doors down from where Dick normally stays if he’s spending the night. There’s a soft purple blanket thrown across the bed, and someone has stuck dinosaur stickers up on the window. There’s a pack of colourful bandaids tucked into one of the drawers, and in the adjacent bathroom, there’s the shampoo she always uses.

She’s still not part of the family. 

She bends over her own kitchen sink and nearly swears when she can’t get a stain off of a plate that she’s been eating off of for years, she sews up the holes in her own sheets and brings her mom coffee when she asks for it, and the local dogs and cats know her by scent at this point.

There’s still always room at the table for her, whenever she stumbles downstairs after a long night and a short text saying that she’s staying over with Cass or Tim, even when she hasn’t seen either of them in a week. There’s waffles hidden in the cabinet for her, and she always picks the plate with Jason’s clumsy signature scrawled across the rim in ceramic paint, and the fork with the weird eagle logo that’s been half rubbed off by age. Alfred slides breakfast over to her without pausing his conversation with Duke as Steph tucks in like she has a million times over.

She’s not part of the Wayne family.

She sighs over the holes in her jeans and the way her shirts are nearly transparent with age. She swears loudly when the hot water suddenly turns icy, and she counts the change she keeps hidden in shoes and coat pockets whenever she’s hungry, blonde curls wild and bouncing in the wind, or tied up and secured with a bobbypin under the bright purple hood.

But she still stands there, a mild discomfort settling into her arms as she holds them up, Selina eyeing the seam at her waist like it’s a particularly aggravating goon. The tailor adjusting the long, expensive, fabric around her ankles as Steph wonders why she let Selina talk her into shopping, knowing full well her taste meant the highest price tag in the store. Her hair is pushed back casually, as Selina makes an offhanded comment about how her muscles are improving since she last saw them. Steph didn’t realise she’d paid attention to her at all.

She’s the furthest thing away from the Wayne family.

She still gets an invite pressed into her hand, printed words spelling out recital. Damian does not make eye contact, simply tells her to dress well, and that he expects her there. Steph wears a dress Bruce bought for her, for an undercover mission, not wanting to outdo Damian’s real family. To say she’s a little bit shocked when she’s sat next to Dick, and only Dick, is an understatement. She still cheers loudly and claps so hard her hands sting when Damian comes onstage, polished wood of his violin nearly glowing in the stage lights.

Steph’s not part of the family.

But she still gets a call from Jason at seven in the evening, when he’s meant to be having a family dinner, and asks where she is. He nearly laughs out loud when Steph asks why she would be at a Wayne family dinner, and there’s soon the rumble of a motorbike and a voice yelling at her to climb down the fire escape already. She arrives at Wayne Manor with her hair a mess, pain stains on her jeans, and holes in her converse. She’s sat down next to Bruce in a three-piece suit, and Alfred pours her a generous helping of everything. She spends the night laughing so hard her chest hurts, and Duke has to hit her on the back to keep her from choking. It’s the first time Steph met Kate Kane, and she thinks she might want to try bright red hair too.

Steph’s not part of the Wayne family.

But she might as well be.

[thunderous-desperado]

Tim, sprinting into Jason’s room, sticking in all directions, looking around with wide eyes.

Jason, on his bed reading a book: What the fuck are you doing?

Tim, quickly looking behind him and back at Jason’s bed: If he asks I’m not here.

Jason: What?

Tim, sprinting so fast he trips back and slides under semi under Jason’s bed. He doesn’t quite make it all the way through, instead having to awkwardly shuffle under: I’m. Not. Here.

Jason: What the fuck.

Dick, dressed in a suit but with a long worm-on-a-string around his neck: WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?

Jason, immediately pointing under the bed.

Dick, grabs something and yanking it out: FUCKER. WHERE ARE MY TIES.

Tim, already struggling: YOU GAVE ME PEPSI. I ASKED FOR COKE.

Dick: I HAVE A MEETING TODAY.

Tim: SHOULDVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT SOONER BITCH.

Jason, turns another page.

[thunderous-desperado]

Kid!Tim, called to the principles office. Waiting for an adult to come get him.

Dick, storming in: WHAT HAPPENED.

Principal: as you can see Timothy has engaged in-

Dick: SHUT THE FUCK UP. Now Timtam what’s wrong? Are you alright? Do you need a hug? It’s alright.

Tim, pulled the fire alarm because he wanted the last chocolate muffin in the cafeteria but they aren’t allowed seconds: I- I just though I saw a fire. I was trying *hiccup* I was trying to do the right thing. I’m so sorry.

Principal: Mr. Grayson. We have security footage that Timothy pulled the alarm completely purposefully-

Dick: Can’t you see he’s never done anything wrong in his life?

[thunderous-desperado]

Jason is that one unemployed sibling who texts you weird shit at 3:27 pm on a Tuesday.

Like, Dick, sweating his ass off in his police uniform getting a text from Jason, which btw, extremely rare- and it's just a Twin tomato (two tomatoes grown as one ykwim) and captioned w "ur ass"

or Tim is in the middle of his board meeting and he gets an email from Red Hood and hes like stressing out chcking it only to find a pic of his apartment's kitchen's pantry asking "why dont you have salt?"

and then damian coming back from school to see his phone full of texts from Jason and it's all pics of ugly animals and every pic is captioned with "u" "u again" "wow u"

Bruce getting a morse code going "check phone" and it's a video of Jason flying away on an alien helicopter contraption with Roy yelling after him asking him to get down and jason saying he doesnt know how this shit works.

[thunderous-desperado]

remember when i said Bruce would forget his kids arre adopted?

imagine the same thing but opposite w damian for some reason.

Damian starts showing interest in medical stuff and Alfred lightly comments, "just like his grandfather," and Bruce hums with a finger on his chin, "Ra's?" and Alfred gives him a look and THEN Bruce realises, oh his father. his side of the family. because he's the dad. for real this time. ohhhhh.

[thunderous-desperado]

The implementation of Tim’s cowl

[thunderous-desperado]

Some more Jason please enjoy the crumbs

[thunderous-desperado]

Duke in the back of the Batmobile covered in paint: Do you think different paints have different tastes?

Dick, in passenger seat as oldest rules staring absentmindedly out the window: They do.

Bruce, side eye in the cowl hits different: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

Edit: now with a fanfic