#(it was mine. i like to say yes to things to my detriment)

[imaginariumgeographica]

I'm not allowed to take on more things ESPECIALLY not before at least March but probably more reasonably til after the conference in june but. I want to

[weirdsht]

Hi! Good day/evening to you. Would it be alright if we get more of yan!cale? 😽 I read ur yan!cale stories and I deeply stand by you.

Overboard

notes: i'm not experienced with writing yanderes and I couldn't think of a specific scenarios so i went with this a short fic instead. If you have any scenarios in mind feel free to send them and i'll do my best to deliver!

tags: subtle yandere cale (tbh you have to squint huhu), established relationship, vague novel spoilers

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

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The clock strikes just after midnight. It was quiet as everyone had gone to their designated rooms to sleep.

Almost everyone that is.

Cale and Ron are still awake and talking. With the young master sitting on the couch and the servant standing up beside him as he reads the documents he has been given.

Usually, Cale would have been asleep long ago. At this time he would be cuddling with his significant other and the children averaging nine years old. In fact, he can hear the bed that’s just 10 steps away calling him already.

But alas he still has something to do.

“A viscount’s son huh? Where does he get the audacity to try and touch what’s mine?”

Ron stayed silent at his young master’s calm voice. Instead, he peeked at the document in Cale’s hand.

The document was something the servant had written himself. It consisted of every detail that happened when Cale’s significant other was away. Getting a much-needed vacation after being cooped up at the underground villa during the entirety of the war.

It consisted of places they went to. Things they bought. People they talked to. Even things they looked at for more than 30 seconds.

Every move they made was written in that document.

“Ron, everyone knows that the Henituse is a duchy now right?”

“Of course young master.”

“And everyone knows who my significant other is right?”

“Yes, young master. You are a famous figure in both continents, your significant other is bound to be known too.”

Usually, Cale would grimace at the thought of him being famous. But not right now.

“Then why would such a lowly noble like this trash here dare make a move on _____?”

“Some rabbits just don’t know the value of their lives, young master.”

Cale could feel his anger rising. However, he held it in. He can’t raise his voice right now. Not only was it late but _____ and the children were already asleep on the bed a few steps away from him.

Huuu

“I wanted for _____ to relax for once. The war was quite detrimental to their health.”

The young master sighed once more before fully calming down.

“You did a good job not letting that bastard go near them again after the 2nd time it happened.”

Ron flashed his usual benign smile at the compliment. Despite that, Cale could see in the old man’s eyes that he was not yet satisfied.

“Was _____ bothered that much?”

“Yes, young master. They felt distraught during the first two days of their vacation because of him.”

Ah, so that’s why Ron was still angry.

“Then I guess looting him dry won’t be enough. I’ll you handle the rest. Go do whatever will ease your heart. Just make sure to clean up afterwards.”

Molan’s last patriarch only bowed before going out of Cale’s room. The documents that Cale had been reading are in his hands, ready to be burned at the fireplace. Despite the lack of verbal response from the benign old man, Cale knows he will follow the orders given to him.

Which was why he could go back to bed with a lighter heart.

Meanwhile, the documents are now successfully fueling the fireplace of the villa. Ron watches the paper turn to ash. He oversees how the last thing that was burned was the description of the viscount’s son. Written below that was his offence.

His crime?

Trying to flirt with _____. Twice.

Even had the nerve to say a pickup line.

“Maybe I’ll let Choi Han handle him instead.”

[strangeandoff-putting]

why I'm happysad that they let Numa be the narrator in Society of the Snow.

So if you, like me, have been more than a little obsessed with the story of Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571 for a very, very long time, your stomach probably dropped like mine did when the narrator introduced himself as Numa Turcatti. (My immediate thought was, "why would you do this to us?!") If you went in blind, I feel for you!

But while the film gave us a version of Numa, since it's from his perspective what it doesn't really give us is the group's perspective on him. He comes across a bit like an outsider, and although, yes, his only surviving friend was Pancho Delgado, he wasn’t an outsider for long at all. On the contrary. So, here are a few excerpts from the books that tell you more about what he was like and how much they all loved him, because I feel like that’s important.

From Alive, Piers Paul Read:

Next to Parrado, Numa Turcatti was the most generally beloved of the boys. [...] Since he had known few of the boys before leaving Montevideo, it was proof of his strength, simplicity and complete lack of malice that he became so loved and respected by them.

On celebrating Numa's birthday while trapped under the avalanche:

The boys gave him an extra cigarette and made a birthday cake out of snow. [...] Many would have liked to give him a better time on his birthday, but instead it was he who improved their spirits. "We have survived the worst," he said. "From now on, things can only get better."

From Society of the Snow, Pablo Vierci:

‘When I talk about Numa, I can’t help but cry,’ says Coche Inciarte. ‘He’s the best person I’ve ever met in my life. However tenderly I cared for those who were losing heart, Numa did it much better because he never got tired. He was constantly aware of everyone else’s distress. He radiated peace, he never gave up, and when he came near me, I felt like Jesus Christ himself was among us, with such mercy and compassion in his eyes. I don’t know where he got his strength.’ ‘I could never imagine him living in everyday life, because I met him and I loved him in that torment of the Andes,’ says Coche. ‘He had a hard time eating, like I did. We ate the bare minimum in order to survive. I lost one hundred pounds, he lost more. And just like me, his leg became infected after the avalanche. We operated on our legs together with a razor blade. But he deteriorated more quickly than I did, because he had given so much more; he had been too generous.’

Moncho Sabella:

Numa taught us about the anonymous heroism of giving more of himself to others than he reserved for himself. In that balance between solidarity and selfishness, which decided whether you lived or died, he tilted the balance in favour of the others to the detriment of himself. [...] And when the avalanche came and covered the plane, the one who worked the hardest, the one who removed the most snow so that we could come back to life, was Numa. Again, he was exceeding his own limits. [...] In the end, his immune system was so devastated that he got one infection after another. We gave him antibiotics and the doctors on the mountain attended to him every day, but finally he left us. And with him, we all died a little more.

Gustavo Zerbino:

I always remember Numa up there, full of despair, when he told us that he would rather die watching the sky, walking, instead of ending life immobilised in a cave of broken metal. For that reason, after the avalanche, he kept digging and removing snow without rest until he burned himself out with exhaustion. He always thought that his time had come but he wanted to work until the final moment, doing whatever he could to help. I cared for him all those days; I saw how he was hurried to the brink of death, with no defences, getting one infection after another. I went up to him and first I gave him a kiss on the cheek to greet him and asked him how he was doing. He just stared at me with a kind of infinite peace. He never complained. But Numa was quickly deteriorating: from that physical strength and vigour he had had at the beginning, he finished as a skeletal dying boy. He held on to his characteristic qualities until the end though. He was that same stoic guy when he was strong and when he was wasting away.

‘Gustavo Zerbino didn’t tell us the whole truth [about the expedition] because he didn’t want us to be discouraged. When I asked Numa about it, he couldn’t lie and he told me: “As far as we went, all you could see were more mountains.” But even so, he always wanted to be an expeditionary. “I want to go,” he told me, even though I knew at once he could never go, he was too exhausted and too hurt.’ So Numa approached Daniel Fernández, knowing that he had influence over the others, and he tried to convince him: ‘I can do it, Daniel, please believe me. I can do it.’ Daniel recalls, ‘When I told him that his injury made it impossible, he started working even harder than ever, like a bull, shovelling snow to unbury the plane after the avalanche to show that yes, he could do it.’

Finally, from Alive, after Numa died:

On this particular afternoon, Javier Methol lay at the back of the plane. "Be careful," he said to Coche as he rose and stepped over Numa's body. "Be careful not to step on Numa." "But Numa's dead," said Parrado. Javier had not realised what had happened, and now that he understood his spirits dropped completely. He wept as he had wept at the death of Liliana, for he had grown to love the shy and simple Numa Turcatti as though he were his brother or son.

I'm not sure the Numa we see in the film is quite the same person that he actually was on that mountain, but I'm so, so glad that he got a voice. He fought so hard for them all.

So, yeah. In the immortal words of Jake Peralta,

[lemotmo]

Let's all spiral together!

Q. No title yet for Ep 2! Oh my god it's just sounding more and more likely and I am so afraid to believe it because they've teased it for literal years and we're still not there!

Q. They could still tease it and just not do it and say it's not queer baiting because they they gave us bi Buck.

Q. Why doesn't episode 2 have a title?! What do we think? 👀👀

A. I bunched these asks together because they're a good combination of what my ask box currently looks like, minus the questions I'm ignoring, and because I can answer all of this in one post. I'm going to tackle the queer bait question first. Yes the show gave us bi Buck so using Buck to tease a possible storyline would technically give them an out on the queer baiting accusation. But they aren't using Oliver/Buck for any of the teasing. They're using Ryan/Eddie. The entire off season promotion has been Ryan/Eddie centric. The early bts antics have been Ryan/mustache centric. They are playing it up. The one official filming post was Oliver/Ryan. Now technically they haven't outright said the words queer, gay or Buddie (though basically confirming they've tried to make Eddie canon queer for several seasons is as close as you can get. So they're already towing the line), but they have heavily insinuated them since the beginning of last season. Much more so than they ever have. Not doing it would 100% be queer baiting at this point. The show is out of leeway where this storyline is concerned. They aren't going to get a pass anymore from the audience or the media who cover the show, the media part of it has already begun. We started seeing legitimate articles pointing out the Buddie of it all during the off-season, and that continued yesterday with the two jurnos who wrote about the Buddie shift. The show is out of time. Anything else will be detrimental to them at this point because people will absolutely walk away. They're out of excuses. They're out of 'next season'.

Episode 2 not having a title, or not releasing the title yet either means the title is a spoiler of some kind, but unless it's called Buddie Begins it can't spoil too much, or it's an indication of it being a significant episode. I would imagine it's the second option. If someone whose memory is better than mine can confirm when we got the episode title for 7x4 I would appreciate it because I don't recall getting that title that far in advance either. I would imagine it's an Eddie begins again type episode. It's also probably the alternate reality episode, if that is indeed what they're doing. The 3rd episode being titled 'There's No Place Like Home' is also a pretty good indicator that the previous episode could be an alternate reality. I'm super curious about what they'll go with title wise. Will it be another play on words like 'Eddie, Exhausted and Escaping' or something else like 'Escape from Reality' which would be a nod to the Freddie Mercury Bohemian Rhapsody thing they've been playing with. The writers and director are Buddie people though that was immediately noticeable. Whatever good Buddie scene you can think of there's more than a good chance that that particular writer and director were involved. Everything is setting up.

Oh, I'm already down deep into the spiral Nonny. :)

I love all the content we're getting. This hiatus is so much more fun now. :)

Is Buddie queer baiting? In my eyes? Right now? No, not at all. But they do need to proceed with caution.

In fact, in the beginning of last season I would have said 'No, it's only ship baiting', because neither of them were out of the closet. But now that they've continued the same kind of promo for season 8, even though Buck is in a relationship with another man? The way they are consciously hyping up the Buddie of it all? The way they keep implying and playing into the fact that Eddie might not be as straight as he himself thought he was?

Yeah, they're not there yet, but they're definitely toeing that line and they need to be really careful with how they proceed.

I remember saying to someone last season, right before 7b started again, that the show had to either 'shit or get off the pot'. They could have done that in 7b. But now that moment has passed. There is no more getting off the pot. They need to... well, you catch my drift right? ;)

I'm so curious about that episode 2 title and the Wizard of Oz reference in episode 3. We all know how much Tim loves old classic movies.

So many questions, so few answers. The time is right to create some beautiful theories and speculate about those episodes. Fun times ahead!

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[schneiderenjoyer]

whats your headcanons for TWTR!Vertin?

Oh, boy! Get ready to see how much of a disaster TWTR!Vertin is (by my own doing) Thank you for asking too! It'll be fun to share things about this AU of mine.

The list is long so continue with that in mind:

Vertin uses she/they pronouns. It's one of the first headcanons I thought of the moment I saw their design and how lovely they look in a suit!

Vertin is ambidextrous, they use their right hand for professional documents and their left hand for personal letters. It's actually canon and mentioned in the game's story that they're ambidextrous!

Vertin has freckles. I know this is canon, but there's still people who prefer her without them. I'm not one of them. I'm a freckle believer.

Vertin can play the piano. SPDM offers their students some form of entertainment through the arts like dance and music. They kept the ones they found most interesting. Mainly composing music sheets and playing it on the piano.

Vertin is an engineer. They have many hobbies and tried many things, but only few really stuck. Engineering is one of them.

Vertin created the Storm clock! Using their skills in engineering and high sensitivity towards arcanum, they've managed to accurately create a clock that tells when the Storm arrives. Only that it can tell its arrival within 24 hours. It doubles as a normal clock sometimes too.

The realm inside the suitcase is part of Vertin's arcane skill! Vertin can't use their arcanum effectively for offensive purposes, but it's useful in other avenues like support. Their arcane skill is [Ne iru milde en tiun bonan nokton] which has created the space. It also explains how the suitcase sustained some anti Storm properties, even if it doesn't fully protect everyone from the Storm.

Vertin is skilled in physical combat. With their arcanum mostly inferior and ineffective for battle, they've trained to be more resourceful in combining melee with arcane tools or potions for self defense.

Vertin is an insomniac. You can hold so much trauma in this Timekeeper. They're plagued by nightmares and even in quiet nights, it's hard to sleep. Schneider's presence and the occasional sleepy poppy pill helps most of the time.

Vertin has abandonment issues. Their fate is set on the day of the breakout incident, nothing can stop the Storm from taking people they love away. As a result, it's become detrimental for them to make friends, but never become too close. There's always a chance to lose them in the Storm. Well, except maybe Schneider.

Vertin has separation anxiety. This is extremely strong with Schneider, but they've gotten better over the years. They still panic if they don't know where she is for too long, especially when they're asleep and wakes up to Schneider missing. It only takes 5 minutes for them to notice her gone and 5 more minutes for them to start panicking.

Vertin has a sweet tooth. Candies, cakes, toffees, you name it! It keeps their sugar levels up when extremely exhausted and throughout all the bitterness they go through, they deserve a bit of sweetness in life.

Vertin is touchy. Their every word and action is always observed, they can't say what they want most times. So they express their fondness towards someone through action. Their favorite form of affection is patting someone on the head. For Schneider, it's to completely cling onto her and smell her all over. No, that's not appropriate. Yes, they still want to do it.

Vertin has a body pillow of Schneider. It's self explanatory. Those were dark times... Schneider lets it slide knowing it helps with their anxiety.

Vertin is selfless to a fault. It ties in to their abandonment issues and desire to grant people's wishes as much as they can. It's only recently they've express selfish desires around Schneider more.

Vertin likes critters. They often veer towards befriending them than fighting them if they can help it. But self defense is self defense.

Vertin is strong. They can lift alright, like a whole lot. They may not be magically strong, but they can at least punch like a bear.

Vertin is a mediocre learner. They're not the smartest and even find studying to be boring (like math). If it's something they take interest in, they hype fixate on it and eventually just be good at it.

Vertin is often misunderstood to be talented. Contrary to popular belief, a lot of the rumors and facts know about the Timekeeper is all a matter of circumstance and misinterpretation. They're just fortunately at the right place in the right time and most, if not all, their plans always ties in to the fact they have connections that help them get through it. Vertin doesn't actually have much skills in many departments. They just have the power of friendship on their side lmao.

Vertin is...passionate. Life of oppression, depression, and trauma can't be good for developing relationships of any kind. Fortunately the one they have now is four years in the making. While it still has a lot of bumps on the road, it's far more stable than what could've been if they haven't been given all those years to develop it. Still, Vertin being desperate to feel and smell their lover both privately and publicly needs some work...

Vertin is jealous and possessive. Ties in with being passionate and the whole "working out the bumps" part. They're not fully aware of it either, but their "selfless to a fault" nature aids in keeping this side of them strangely dormant for the most part. Timekeeper is very complicated.

Vertin shows signs of disassociation. While this one is a lot more hard to pin point, when overwhelmed by trauma and emotions, Timekeeper starts losing focus on their autonomy and action. They see with their eyes and hear with their ears, but they start noticing less of what they're doing and only know what's happening. Ties in with their anxiety.

Vertin is both touch starved and touch repulsed. The worst and most conflicting of their problems due to the Foundation's experimentation. They enjoy being affectionate, but flinches or stiffens when others try to be. Only Schneider gets a pass, but even then they still twitch occasionally. They're growing to be more comfortable receiving affection from their friends too.

Vertin's favorite food is Trifle. Their favorite drink is Butterfly Pea Tea.

Vertin is a terrible cook. No, it's not because they're British. It's because they're spoiled by Schneider's cooking. They also think that an entire jar of picrasma candy counts as a meal.

Vertin doesn't like chess. They know how to play it, but they stopped liking it for...obvious reasons. Instead, they picked up playing Go from Madam Z.

Vertin makes dioramas and terrariums. Another hobby they kept. It bolsters their architectural crafts, but mainly it's to have fun homes for the frogs and creatures they collect.

Vertin is a prankster. That's never disappeared as they grow up. They have a particular sense of humor and they like teasing their friends like Sonetto to get a reaction. This stems from having a partner that rarely reacts with anything but a smile. Getting an open, honest response excites them.

That's about all the ones I can list at the top of my head for now! Thanks again for the ask!

[mrsnancywheeler]

Finnicks sweet girl is “Me and my husband” by Mitski (not the intended meaning by Mitski but on a purely lyrical stand point)

~~~

“I steal a few breaths

From the world for a minute”

kinda the feeling she has around being worthless or like…how she wasn’t supposed to win the games. You need air to breath but saying “I steal a few breaths from the world” it’s like saying you don’t belong, you’re taking life away from someone more deserving

~~~

“It’s always been just him and me

Together”

Finnicks sweet girls thoughts on her and Finnick. By the time the games are around she’s been hung up on him for 3 years. The only way she’s happy, truly happy, is being with him. It’s always been him. It will always be him.

~~~

“So I bet all I have on that furrowed brow”

so this one is kinda sad but if you think about it….i mean she did bet all she had on Finnick, especially for the games. Conway was a huge part of her life, Conways family was like her own. She kinda gave it all up for him

~~~

“At least in this life time

we’re sticking together

me and my husband

we’re sticking together”

the co-dependent nature of their relationship. they stay together through thick and thin.

~~~

“And I am the idiot with the painted face

In the corner, taking up space

But when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved”

I feel like she views herself as “hard to love” and we know she views herself as hard to trust. She has a “painted face” which can allude to, the makeup she’s forced to wear, but also the disguise she had during her own games.

And then again the idea of “taking up space” like she doesn’t deserve to have lived, to be the one standing. Finnick is the only person who can make her feel loved, make her feel safe.

~~~

So yeah. I have a ton of songs that I think represent her (including “my love, mine all mine” and “runaway”. Maybe I’ll send more lyric stuff with those songs. Who knows!)

-🌾anon

I agree like I listen to those lyrics and I'm like chef's kiss 💋

yes, reader is not a self-worth having girlie. even the small things like breathing feel like things worth feeling guilty for being able to do. why does she get to do it when she's killed people? why does she get to do it when she's hurt people?

since she was 15 she's known it'll be no one else, and he's known that since he saw her. and all that time between her games and the quarter quell, who do they have except each other?

yes yes yes she did, her best friend, his family that cared for her in a way her actual family didn't, she gave it all up on a chance to live and be with finnick. she put her trust in the idea that he might be able to save her and so they could be together. even if it was at the detriment of everything else.

they're literally my co-depedent pookies, they don't function without one another, if one is gone, the other stops like clockwork.

also like being truly loved, she has public Capitol adoration but like in the quarter quell interviews when finnick walks onto the stage and kisses her, she's gone from a moment of being uncomfortably dolled up and trying to perform to being really loved.

they're just so very mitski, if you want to pookie 💋 it'll literally never annoy me

happy valentine's day 💕

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Ange as I await your post show thoughts 24 hours later, I kinda have to send mine in now (I can't help it...thoughts are swirling, though I will need to lie down)

Thank HBO for sparing us more Alicole fucking....the good thing about Cole being at war is that we don't have to see them fuck anymore thank GOD. This episode definitely felt more blacks-oriented, though the scenes we got of the Greens were still interesting, I think. Annoyingly, only two scenes with Aemond, one of which I definitely have thoughts on. The young Rhaenyra cameo...Matt Smith rlly told so much with his expressions, it was just, wow. Also Alys Rivers intro 👀

Helaena saying she forgave Alicent- my poor girl, she really deserves better than her hot mess ass family. The scene of Aemond caught by Aegon in the brothel....aside from getting so upset on his behalf, cause good grief, Aegon, even your friends know better than to laugh at Aemond, because he's AEMOND- it felt as though they're building up to Aemond being faced with a choice to betray Aegon and take the crown, most likely at Rook's Rest, when he's injured. I know he didn't snap back at Aegon because Aegon's king, and he can't hurt the King, but still. Of course, I have to mention.....FULL FRONTAL AEMOND. Yes, my heart did race fast as FUCK when that came on....I was NOT expecting it, and I am going to lie down now. The scene of Rhaenyra and Alicent meeting was definitely a choice...still not sure how I feel bout it yet to be honest. I liked the episode, despite my issues such as pacing and others, many of which I share with you. One of my biggest is just Aemond screen time, to be honest. He's yet to have. a proper scene with Alicent or Helaena, and idk....I suppose I just hoped for a little more green unity with him and Aegon, but I guess we'll have to see.

-🦋 anon

Hello! Once more using your ask to dump my episode thoughts.

I felt the absence of Otto this episode. I feel like Rhys’s performance has carried the last couple of episodes. It felt a little flat without him.

I know that they aren’t following the plot of the Dance as it happens in Fire and Blood but the show feels like sloppily written fan fiction at this point.

They couldn’t show us even a couple of minutes of the Bracken vs Blackwood battle?!

Very much enjoyed the introduction of Gwayne and Alys, their performances were minimal but incredibly impactful.

I don’t subscribe to Team politics, however, I do feel the writing favours Team Black, but to their detriment. Rhaenyra has been softened to the point she is unrecognisable. Her sneaking into King’s Landing dressed as a septa was utterly pointless, really silly and achieved absolutely nothing.

I’m also disappointed that Rhaena has been dismissed as a glorified babysitter.

And Helaena?! What the fuck?! She is devastated by the loss of Jaehaerys in the book - what the hell are they doing with her character?!

I did like Daemon’s “capture” of Harrenhal. Simon Strong is an absolute G, and Daemon’s horrified reaction to his hallucination of Rhaenyra was fantastically acted by Matt Smith.

I am so disappointed by the brothel scene - don’t get me wrong, Ewan’s acting was phenomenal, but it feels like such a flimsy premise to set the two brothers upon each other (I think we all know at this point that the writers are going to have Aemond betray Aegon) - this is such a ridiculous catalyst for it. I also fear they are going to further darken Aemond’s character by having him kill Sylvie.

I hate this fucking show so much, and yet I love it and its characters so much, so I will return week after week, despite the fact it continues to break my heart.

[ivyial]

RIGHT SO

after my previous reblog, i feel compelled to write a "short" post (love letter) about (to) this game

so for those of you who haven't played it, or never even heard of it, professor layton vs phoenix wright: ace attorney is a crossover game between the two franchises (you'll have guessed it from the title) and it is PAINFULLY underrated :,) (i also hear that it is now hard to get physical copies of this game at a decent price so i'm glad i kept mine)

essentially used to be my favourite game of all time before it got dethroned by the resident evil 4 remake (but i will forever remember it fondly). i remember my parents gifted it to me for easter back in 2014 (so i was around 12 back then) and i don't think they realised how much this would change me. like this is one of the reasons why i started thinking about studying law later LMAOO.

essentially layton and phoenix both end up helping this young girl, espella (i played it in french back then and her name is aria so their english names are a struggle for me) who is being hunted by witches and then put on trial in london for the assault of a ship's crew member. then the wildest thing happens and they get sucked into a book and are sent back to medieval times. yes it sounds insane. but in this small town called labyrinthia, witches are real, and so are witch trials (DOESN'T IT SOUND COOL AS FUCK??).

they've all forgotten who they are, though. phoenix doesn't remember being an attorney and layton doesn't remember anything either. they find espella again, and she's put on trial AGAIN, for witchcraft this time. the game alternates between the usual layton riddles and ace attorney's investigation/trial phases. the odds are high this time around, because those found guilty of witchcraft are shoved into a metal cage and plunged into a pit of fire. they're not messing around.

of course, it wouldn't be layton or ace attorney without a massive plot twist at the end. i'd argue this one is probably the most insane out of all layton games (it's even a bit far fetched tbh, but just saying, you do not see it coming) (okay it's even full of plot holes and i haven't revisited the ending in years but if i did, i think it would be detrimental to my mental health).

the art style is amazing - i'm in love with the later ace attorney art styles, starting from dual destinies and this game, and particularly the latest great ace attorney chronicles. here are a few of my favourite character designs from the game:

but overall, one of the best things about the game has to be the soundtrack. it is the perfect mix of both franchises' music and it is a CRIME that neither level 5 nor capcom have released this on spotify (capcom i know you have all other AA soundtracks on this app. add this one. i am begging you). if you've never played an ace attorney game before, then you do not know the sheer adrenaline of phoenix shouting OBJECTION and the music speeding up. here's one of my favourite tracks:

tell me this doesn't make you immediately want to confess to 47 crimes you haven't committed.

it's kind of the perfect crossover game if you're into the genre, it's perfectly balanced between riddles and trials. the stakes are also a lot higher and there's actual executions. maybe i shouldn't have played this at the age of 12 actually - at some point (spoilers ahead), maya is wrongly executed and the scene will forever haunt me for some reason:

(go to 18:06 if the youtube timestamp doesn't work) i chose the french version of the cutscene because it's the one i played back then and i find that the french dub is a lot more compelling than the english one (somehow? the french haven't produced a good dub in decades so). also maya's screams are downright heartbreaking and the scene was traumatising asf when i was a kid

ANYWAY. please play this game, it's so much fun. for the AA enthusiasts, there's an edgeworth cameo at the very end. i very much fear that this game will be forgotten eventually, but it warms my heart to see that there are still people talking about it on the internet.

[egg-emperor]

Yass. I love the egg empire existing as a fucked up, cyberpunkish, smog-covered Citadel where everyone, aside from Eggman and his harem , lives in complete squalor 😍

The average being would prolly struggle to even find food, meanwhile Eggy gorges himself on the finest foods and booze. Every day he has a feast for himself. He'd probably cheekily giggle with delight knowing that people and animals are starving , while he gets to stuff his fat gut. Food goes to winners like him and not losers like them. Hell he'd probably broadcast himself feasting, just to kick everyone while they're down.

It sounds like an absolute paradise 😍 In Eggman's eyes and mine because I love anything that makes him happy lol- but absolutely terrible for everyone else. He gets to live his dream in a perfect world by his twisted definition as it's completely reshaped in his selfish image and he the has high power and total luxury he's always desired, and a big gay harem to serve his needs and entertain him. It couldn't get any better!

He wouldn't treat his harem the best either but to my masochistic ass that's a plus and it'd be an honor to be a part of it hehe. Everyone else would experience the absolute worst of what this new world entails though. They've lost their homes, people they love, passion and enthusiasm for living and all meaning as he's stripped it away and replaced it with his plan and rules for them and they have to follow it all or be eliminated!

Ohh yes I love that so much, I've actually shared a concept very similar... elsewhere (in one of the blogs hinted at in my blog description), for reasons. 😳 People would definitely struggle to find food to survive, Eggman would want people to starve so it will make them give in to the robotomy treatment. If the propaganda didn't get them, they'll be begging for it just so they won't need to eat, only to regret it because they also have to give up all freedom and free will!

I imagine that as emperor, he heavily indulges in all the luxuries of life to an excessive degree in total hedonism and decadance and one of those is food of course. Because all the food in the world will belong to him alone then! And he can't let it go to waste he says, so he has many huge grand feasts to himself, but it's to celebrate his brilliance most importantly hehe. He deserves good food fit for an emperor and lots of it.

He loves to kick back before his big long dinner table full of tons of wonderful foods the entire way across and dig in to it all. He's free to gorge to his heart's content and eat like the emperor he is. Plenty of booze too! He always enjoys having a very full belly, being happily drunk, and getting some love and action from his cute harem as they feed him, give him his cuddles, kisses and belly rubs and other things while he relaxes ;)

It's endless elation, pleasure, and bliss for Eggman 💜 It's what everyone's lives, freedom, and happiness were exchanged for as they suffer in the hellish world he's created. He'd enjoy broadcasting his time lounging on his throne, feasting on all the food they don't get to eat while they hunger, and being loved up by his harem while he gloats about how great and powerful he is and shows off how much better of a life he's living than them!

He'd smugly ask if they're enjoying his beautiful new world and their new lives as much as he is, knowing full well the real answer and loving it. He'd ask if they're hungry while he gorges happily on delicious mouth watering food and say "well too bad, it all belongs in here now" and slaps his fat gut proudly while they watch longingly, desperate for even a single bite. The torment gets them closer to giving into robotomy everyday.

Their biggest nightmare was his biggest dream, their suffering is his entertainment, their detriment is his benefit, their squalor means his luxury. He took away everything from everyone from the world they knew, who they were and the freedom they had, and everything they loved and owned and left them with only suffering, all for his selfish gain. He loves to remind them of that every single day with great pride!

And I'd be delighted to be at his side as part of a harem of cute boys, as we all now exist solely to serve in entertaining and pampering the handsome emperor 🥰💜💘

[illicien]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @hiddenxplaces-blog

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

52

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

1,098,853

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Marvel. Specifically TFATWS at the moment.

4. Top five fics by kudos:

Time-Lost (IronStrange) Fathomless (IronStrange) Scribbles On Our Souls (DrPepperony) Heart of Gold (IronStrangeFrost) Persistence (IronStrange)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Almost every time. Sometimes I get a bit caught up or delayed, but typically I respond to comments pretty regularly. I love chatting with readers!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't think I've actively posted the fic with the truly angsty ending, yet, so I think the closest is probably a bittersweet ending with Still Here. (IronStrange / Stephen & Peter)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Well this one took a sec. Keeper (IronStrange), probably?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Oh not typically to my face, no.

9. Do you write smut?

Yep.

10. Craziest crossover:

I don't really do crossovers, so really the only crossover I can think of plainly is the DRoP/IronStrange fic we did, Heart of Gold.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I've seen so far.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! A fair few of them. 💓

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep. A few!

14. All time favorite ship?

"All-time"? Time hasn't ended, I could hardly say. 😏

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

At this point? Embraced. And I'm so sorry to everyone who was waiting for more.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Wait you want me to say nice things about myself? Goddamnit. I used to think dialogue was a weakness of mine, but I think I've improved a lot over the last couple of years since writing scripts necessitated writing solid dialogue, so I'm pretty confident in that, now. I'm also fairly strong where creating lore and histories are concerned; you want me to explain the magic in a universe? I've got you. You want to know the history of a region? I've got that down, too. World-building in general is my bread and butter.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Does "actually finishing a story" count? The reality is, I lose motivation really easily. I function best when I have someone to consistently bat ideas and things back and forth with, otherwise I get severely in my head about things to the detriment of whatever I'm writing. I also rely more heavily on degree modifiers than I should, and while I'm aware of it I still suck at minimizing it.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I find it highly dependent on whose PoV the story is in. If the PoV character doesn't speak the language, I love being just as confused as them by not knowing the language. If the PoV character does speak the language I can be a little more picky about it, unless it's simply a singular word of endearment or something, because those can be difficult to translate even if you know both of the languages. But I have a love of and fascination with languages.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

Uh.... Yu-Gi-Oh!, I think?

20. Favorite fic you've written?

What an excellent question. I'm actually really proud of (Loss Of) Control (WinterBaron). I set out with some really specific goals for what I wanted to accomplish with it, and I mostly succeeded. There's definitely a section that's weaker than the others, but I pushed myself outside of my comfort zone and made an effort to tackle a trope I'd never written in fic, and to tackle an element of that trope that I felt like I wanted to see handled more in depth. And I'm proud of the result.

Tagging -> @descaladumidera @atypical-snowman @amethyst-noir @jeromesankaraao3

@the-elle-kat @kiki-shortsnout @turtleoftheabyss

[goldenteaset]

(I know I've posted this official art before but I don't care, it fits the occasion)

It's my 1 year yume-versary with Belial today! I felt like being a hopeless romantic (especially after seeing this art again), so I wound up thinking about the process of how this happened. And while it's 99% coincidences that make me happy, when put together like this they do form a love story...

While I got into GBF because of him, the actual act of falling for him "as myself" (for lack of a better way to put it) was a lot longer. Four years, in fact! It was half "I just like him with Djeeta and Lyria better" and half "Nah, he wouldn't like *me*, I'd be too shy".

Cue 2022. XD;

By which I mean, I'm not sure when in summer it started, but all of a sudden he kept showing up in my dreams (as Oribe, his semi-canon school AU self). "Oh cool, that hasn't happened before", I thought, thinking nothing of it. It seemed a good reason to write him and Djeeta in a similar setting; I'd take it.

And then I started noticing that Djeeta wasn't involved. "Well, maybe she's there but I'm seeing things from her POV this time"... ^^;

Months before the Oribe dreams, I kept dreaming about Summer Belial months before we got the Summon, which is funny anyway, but those were still focused on Djeeta. My subconscious really wanted me to have fun with Oribe/Belial, and it was going to bludgeon me until I did. At the same time, two things happened:

A particularly powerful dream about Oribe!Belial where he really wanted to take a selfie with me and kept insisting "I want to see your face, don't hide~"

The "Belial advice column for GBFest" appeared

The former was A Lot, but the latter was easily compartmentalized: "Just write the letter as if you're part of GBF's world". It took a few tries, because I had to remember kafabe (i.e. these letters were being sent to "Belial", not the devs), but I did it!

I burbled about how he'd always gotten me out of writer's block, because of course, and made absolutely sure not to overthink my heart racing while imagining sending it in canon. It was in English, down to the pen name "Shy Writer", and knew it probably wouldn't get picked for the GBFest segment.

"Just the fantasy is enough," I thought, forgetting what "yume" meant.

Fast forward to Jan 2023!

GBFest is here, it's fun whether you're there in person or not...and I'm catching up on Day 1's stream after falling asleep. ^^; I found the "Belial answers fanmail" segment and was just enjoying the spectacle. Here's a video of it separate from the massive stream one:

Someone had sent in something about being shy/nervous about who they liked, very likely him. (Also they called him "Beli-chan", which is adorable.) Belial read it normally, but his response (at 4:13, yes I've kept track of it)...well...

He let out probably the deepest, sultriest chuckle we've heard from him yet, which is saying a lot, and then added "'Shy'? How cute (kawaii ne)~."

Again: it's all coincidence, of course. Just a lot of convenient circumstances that eventually lined up into a fantasy narrative that makes me happy.

But boy did it not matter in that moment, when I felt like a tsundere who'd been found out after a whole season of UST. XD

It felt like there wasn't any need to deny it anymore. Nor to make excuses that were never going to hold up, as long as I kept denying that sense of fun to my own detriment. Or, to be extra sappy about it--it was as if Belial had been seducing me throughout '22 to the beginning of '23 and had now finally gotten the point across to my very dense self-insert/OC.

I've been enjoying myself a lot since then--going out more, trying new hobbies, just being happier in general. Could that have happened without this as a push? Maybe. But it didn't happen until I "had food at home", so to speak, which feels telling.

I think we as a species need space in our heads for imagination and play, and that varies from person to person. Along with writing, mine just happens to be (day)dreaming about the Primarch of Cunning acting like a bird of paradise and/or seducing me and my self-insert OC into semi-reasonable sleep schedules.

So, yeah. Happy anniversary, Belial. May there be many more!

[lsotp]

Chapter 7 and 8

Hi-! This batch is mostly comprised of theories. And it's a long one, so take as much time as you need!

A word of warning. Some of the theories are so out of context that it ACTUALLY makes sense. In a way.

1.) What is Mars', Jupiter', and Trocar's history post-LSOTP?

What happened to their mother in particular?

(I have a theory on Question 6.)

I have a feeling that perhaps Mars, Jupiter, and their father were victims of the Seige of Coronet.

A theory of mine. Though, perhaps there were other areas in Calcian Territory that were also victims of the 'enemy'.

Since you said that Old Sentry was the first that had fallen, I had assumed more would follow.

2.) He wanted to drive home the only reason he signed the contract was so Papyrus could finally live the life he deserved.

Where did they live before they were drafted?

Did the love interests live in a township together or are they spread out into various areas of Calcian Territory?

3.) Quick question.

Is Fonston and St. Calibri seperate townships or is Fonston simply a town in the Municipality of St. Calibri?

4.) ”And who and where is your wife?”

”Dusted quite some time ago. Her name was Lilith Marigold.”

Her eyes widened and her demeanor seemed to change.

”My apologies. Your wife was a hero amongst heroes.”

This was a scene in Chapter 6. One that's been nagging at the back of my mind during my absence.

With what Mrs. Courier just stated. It means that the Institute realized and acknowledged that Lilith was a part of the military, and is considered a hero amongst heroes.

Surely other hens might be inspired to do the same as what Lilith had done if Mrs. Courier acknowledges this.

Also, I have a feeling that THIS is connected to the Gasters and the favor Cobalt owed. The implications of this one interaction is uncanny.

To reveal a hen in the military comprised of multiple sires (what a scandal-!) And somehow not get as much backlash (aside from the thing with Goudy and him reporting Lilith to the Institute) from the Institute...

I can only theorize that the Gasters MIGHT have lessened the blow. Perhaps with their rank, they managed to influenced a decision that is less detrimental to Lilith.

Instead of having been killed or mated with a stranger, they instead gave chose to give her to Cobalt....?

Only you can confirm.

5.) Ayo. I feel bad for Bubblegum.

Talk about brainwashing. Also, what's with this supposed 'scorring'?

"I bet I could get a perfect score with a trial whelp!” - Bubblegum

6.) I swear, if I didn't know any better (and I don't aside from the canon statements where magic in LSOTP is shit), I'd say Madame is Jupiter' and Mars' mother and Trocar's late hen.

I have things to back this claim, I swear-!

7.) 👀 I have my eyes on Madame as the head of the Institute.

Judging by the way she acts and the way she brandishes whelps as her own...

I'd say she most likely went from Mrs. Adiline Courier's case worker to Head (or at least a Board Member) of the Institute.

8.) 'The Elevator' proves my hypothesis that yes, the Institute DOES strap hens onto a gurney to be repeated raped.

9.) Ethel and Adiline are lesbians.

Change my mind.

10.) 'DAUPHIN'

*New area acquired*

The residents of this third-world country are Calcians.... Riiiiiight....? 👀

11.) ”She isn’t shit to me! She’ll never replace her! She ain’t good enough-“ - Sans

Don't mind me. I'm just brain storming ideas as to who his late lover was.

Definitely not me trying to make some sort of plot. Nope.

Nope I'm good.

That's all for Chapter 7 and 8. I hope I didn't drain your brain juice with my incessant questioning.

Bye! Take care! (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

A lot of this I actually can’t elaborate on. So I’ll go through what I can.

(3) St. Calibri is a big city. It’s about ~50 miles away from Fonston. In between the towns, farm fields stretch for miles. They’re the nearest towns to eachother.

(4) Lilith was registered as missing by her father which lead to a through investigation by the institute. It was found out a lot too late about the abuse the golden gals went through. The institute praised her for being smart enough to leave and still carrying out her hen duties while enlisted. (She got pregnant with Jett and that’s why they settled on base in Old Centry.) They used her image as a cover girl for how a good hen should be.

(5) Its exactly like a score on a test. They grade the girls based on how fast and efficient they are with those sort of tasks. (Though really if they aren’t perfect, it’s not good enough. ‘Perfect things do not have dust on them, ladies!’ So they use fear tactics to drill everything home.

(6) I do feel comfortable debunking this. This isn’t the case here.

(7) Madame is a powerful woman.

(8) The institute is a horrid place. Honestly death would be better than that place for men and women alike.

(9) They are. Yes. Adiline’s feelings for Ethel outshine and cast a dark shadow on anything she could feel for Mr. Courier. It’s her pent up emotions and anger that causes her to lash out and be cruel to him. It’s not right at all, but to say she hates him is an understatement. In her opinion the best thing he ever gave her was her children that she never got to keep.

(10) I can’t say on this one.

(11) His past hen is most certainly a sore spot for him. Though I can’t say anything more on that. We’ll get some context soon.

[tcookies777]

Life update - returning to college and how it feels as an older student

First off, for any new TAOL readers here, welcome! Thank you for your comments and for investing so much of your time in binging The Anatomy of Love. I just want to apologize again, to both older and newer readers, for my agonizingly slow comment moderation and my lack in replies. I'm not ignoring your comment out of maliciousness or anything like that - I just lack the time and mental energy but that is not to say I don't appreciate your support!

As many of you who've read my previous post and/or chapter ANs are aware of, I've returned to university to finish my 2nd degree. English/literature had always been a great passion of mine but not the most practical career path for me, so I had to quit it in my youth.

Years later, I'm finally pursuing my dream through the best english program my country has to offer and it is everything I could dream of. The academic quality is superb and every day I am working and studying myself to the bone, reading nearly a dozen books a week and typing papers until the words start swimming on the screen.

Among these joys lie the challenges as well. One being that I lean toward the older side of the demographics, which puts me in a minority as opposed to the many young and fresh-faced college students. I've made many friends and met many classmates who assume I am as young as them but their jaws drop when they realize my real age. There is certainly a discrepancy between us in terms of life experience and more, but it is also refreshing and often enlightening to hear perspectives and ideas from the young, creative minds of these trailblazers.

Being in different generations definitely feels weird at times, but what's truly strange - and even a little heartbreaking - is seeing all these young students strive so far and work so hard to the point that the competitiveness created becomes toxic and detrimental to their health.

I have a classmate who is taking 20 units worth of classes (when 12 is the average given how intense the workload is), has 3 part-time jobs, and commits 20 hours of volunteering a week. During an exam day, a window fell on him and broke his arm. Instead of going to the hospital, he insisted on taking his exam with a broken arm because he could not make time to accommodate for his wellbeing.

I met a freshman girl who suffered a mental breakdown when she got rejected from all the school clubs after dozens and dozens of interviews.

The reason behind all the intense competition is because many of these students are fresh out of high school where they've spent the past 4+ years committing to 10 extracurriculars and 20 Advance Placement classes and 1000 volunteer hours so that they can graduate at the top 1% of the class to (hopefully) attend such top universities. But it gets to the point where we're taught that instead of learning for the sake of learning, we're learning for the sake of getting that piece of paper aka the diploma.

And there are many professors who can recognize the difference between the former and the latter in a student of theirs. And there are many professors who will refuse to give even their A+ students a Letter of Rec because they feel that student is not genuinely passionate enough for whatever grad school or internship.

When I was 18 and crying over the stress of nursing school and feeling I was too dumb compared to everyone else, I wish I had someone to tell me to take a deep breath and RELAX.

So now I want to say it for any new or incoming college students that might be reading this: Relax.

Your career will not be over if you do not get into that club. Your social life is not dead just because nobody invited you to a frat party. You are not a loser if you don't have 10+ best friends. You getting a B or C on a paper does not mean your final grade can no longer be an A.

Yes, go to your professor's office hours but talk to them about things besides the coursework - let them get to know you as a person rather than as just a student. That's how they will really remember you among all the other students, and that's how they'll be able to write about you in their letter.

No, you're not dumber than everyone else. That's your imposter syndrome talking. I promise you that whatever idea, question, or concern you have about the course material, there is 100% another student in your class who shares the exact same thing. If you're struggling, 100% there are other students in your class who are struggling as much as you. Don't compare yourself to your peers because we're all battling our own problems and insecurities but we're just hiding it. Focus on yourself.

Be nice to everyone you meet no matter what because you never know what networking opportunities will arise in the near or far future out of that one interaction. Within 1 month of school, I was already offered an internship at a prestigious publishing house just because I let a girl in class borrow my book and we ended up becoming close friends. That network chain was conceived all because I was just nice enough to share my book with her in class.

Most importantly, be nice to yourself! You are smarter than you think you are. And just because you didn't achieve your goal, that doesn't necessarily mean it's your fault or you're a failure. Sometimes to get to your destination you need to take a different path compared to the path you see everyone else taking. And sometimes it's just not meant to be... yet.

Anyway, I'm extremely lucky and privileged to be able to say I am enjoying my 2nd round of university (especially after much pain and suffering in the first round). Which is a major reason why my updates for TAOL have been erratic and my comment moderation slow, but I will continue to do my best in updating whenever I can!

(And if there's even the slimmest chance one of you readers here might be attending the same uni as me, let's vote Chris Pine as our speaker! We must get the arts some representation and love)

Thank you for reading and I will see you soon in the next update 👀

[ina-nis]

How are you at the top but alone? With no ill-intent, I say this as a question since your boundaries seem healthy and safe. Fruitful in your mental health and outward presentation and yet you still don’t have anybody? What is the standard to your top sans partner (which yes is already normal but I ask for yours specifically regarding the context of your blog).

You'll usually reach the top on your own. It's "lonely" up there.

It's hard to think of a life where I have to, constantly, go down to meet others because, to me, it means doing things that will be detrimental to my health and the quality of life I've been working on achieving, and the standards I've put for myself. And that all will be usually long-term, which is worse - the more I put up with ignoring and sacrificing parts of myself, the more detrimental it gets.

It doesn't make sense to go through this when the effort is not mutual.

The people I've met who would be, prospective, good fits for me and my life (because of their own growth mindset) have "used" me and their relationship with me to propel themselves, and that's fair. You want to grow with people who are growing. But I could not "use" them to propel myself. They could not support me how I needed to be supported, they could not show up how I needed them to show up, etc... This was not a matter of me not communicating my needs and more of... me observing that they're still figuring it out, while I already know what I want, among other things. Communication would only go so far if you're speaking different languages. That kind of thing is incompatible for the life and type of partnership I wished to have because it would mean I would carry the brunt of the relationship on my back, do a lot of the emotional labour, comforting, accommodating and compromises myself, while I'd not be able to ask for much or anything at all without jeopardizing the relationship.

I'm not saying this out of some hypothetical situations. These are my lived experiences trying to connect on a deeper level with others.

Many people I have met who are in a similar life stage, with similar journeys and healing processes, either have been partnered already or have no interest in romantic relationships, hence making them unavailable. Most people like me stopped pursuing relationships altogether and started focusing on their careers and other passions of theirs... just how I ended up doing myself. These would be my "ideal" partners, but ironically enough, look at me and look at the answer I got to: I am done.

The search for a partner and work I've been putting on myself to be able to connect with people deeply have depleted me emotionally and physically so much that I don't want to do that anymore.

Putting my life standards at the top, plus my unwillingness to back down from there means I'm basically unreachable to most people as a potential partner. It means I'm too expensive of a partner that most people cannot afford.

And this all is the conclusion of a life of people-pleasing and trying to do literally anything/everything in the name of connecting with others without any respect for my own boundaries or standards. That didn't work either, how silly, huh? So, I don't really see how "reaching a middle-ground" would help me either, considering I've seen both sides and none have worked in getting me in a romantic relationship.

At least now, I feel like I'm living a good and healthy life, where I respect myself and my boundaries and don't engage in people-pleasing. I'm happy about where I got and happy overall. I can do my own things on my own and I do not require reassurance or validation from others because mine is enough.

[rametarin]

Criticisms of right wing talking points of mine.

I will say when it comes to the topic of race, religion or other similar issues in U.S. politics, probably one of the more irritating things to deal with are low-end conservative stances.

I don't usually criticize them. Not because they aren't immortal and generally detrimental, but because we all already know them and understand them. It's just rehashing them over and over again. They consistently stand by their positions, so, you wind up repeating yourself. Not that this offends many hard-leftists, because taking the opportunity to repeat and buffer the message has always been something they've done to reinforce.

Like, every single fucking day of the Trump presidency was not just dealing with the embarrassment and farcical nature of that president, but the equally uncomfortable part was the left wing response to it- which was to get as stupid as some of the more stupid subcultures of in-the-weeds conservative points.

"DURRH! LOOK AT ME! I'M DONALD TRUMP!" hits self in face, "DURHRRRH!" applause for late night funnyman talk show host skit #191877455. This continues for 4 years.

That horrid situation where you try to go down an enumerated list of why a thing is bad but the dude on your side just keeps making funny faces and going, "YEAH! HUH HUH. AND HE'S SO STUPID AND CRINGE, TOO!" like that's contributing to the conversation beyond tribal grunting in solidarity.

As a result, it can sometimes give the wrong impression that via omission, I have sympathy or support for certain popular right-wing conservative positions, despite not actually having those. And if you're the sort of person that attribute disagreement with you and your preferred method of solving or handling a subject, then that's interpreted as putting my flint knife in with the enemy against you.

This isn't true. While yes, the vast majority of my grumbling is about hard-leftists and the utterly asinine values some of them have, you'll notice that I am not pointing at liberalism itself as guilty of this, but things on the left that either pretend to be liberal when it suits them while being some other form of leftist, or co-opt liberalist positions while maintaining they aren't liberal- and that anything else is anti-science/anti-goodness/synonymous with backwardsness, evil and republicans.

The sort of people that will genuinely tell you, to your face, that a left-wing person, "cannot be authoritarian or fascist, because authoritarianism and fascism is inherently right wing. The left is anti-authoritarian and anti-fascist."

Dealing with this sort of shit is multi-tiered and obfuscated under all kinds of levels that you have to dig through and cartograph to really understand the shape and scope of what you're dealing with.

Over on the right side? You just need to understand first their bible, and then maybe the denominations of how they apply it, and then understand the gradient of how they interpret the literalism of it based on their popular denominations. Which... is easier, because rather than make it an absolutely horrific experience of smacking yourself in the face with every rake, and only uncovering what they believe through social traditions of finding a belligerent leftist that would be willing to entertain your probing questions, if only to mock you before going quiet, you can at least ask a general republican their thoughts without them getting too defensive. Since their world outlooks are often tied to their spirituality and metaphysical interpretation of where this world intersects with divine mandate, and it's often a consistent tradition, they have their little ducks in a row and accountability, even if it's just an offshoot derivative cult of Christianity that assumes familiarity but takes it in a different direction.

Then you need to understand that in general they do not approve of the use of government to impose subjective morality, especially if the modern view is to not use the government to impose their morality. The idea that everybody should be obligated to provide something to someone else at no cost to the person getting the help, even if only participating in society and reimbursing the cost of that help, disgusts them. Being party of society to them means at least trying to contribute to the whole and minimize your expense to the whole, and thus, the very environment and state of the relationship grows surplus, and prospers.

This is antithetical to the moralist leftist argument that there should be an enormous welfare state, especially for people that refuse to contribute back anything. People that demand that others and the masses get free buffets, with the expense handed off to other people to pay for because, "even they contribute poop," just infuriate them.

And then you add in the idea that in order to somehow compensate or fix the wounds of the past that was racism by favoring people on the basis of their race, at the expense of the supposed "benefitting race", and fucking wonder why your average republican voter absolutely despises social services in their current form, the travesty that is public housing and the abysmally lacking and slanted view on race relations in US society. Why republican politicians keep getting voted in promising to kill the feed to tumorous, runaway welfare states and prevent the growth of do-nothing communities feeding on society's arteries.

As a young person you're fed a line that they just hate poor people, hate non-whites and hate non-christians. While all this is certainly true for the far edges of that population, it automatically disregards them having any validity whatsoever to their reasons for feeling this way, and erases the reality that many of these criticisms can be (but are not always, depending on the level of knowledge ofthe person making them) correct.

By contrast, you're told that hard-leftists only want, "racial equality, housing for the poor and opportunity for the underprivileged." Which itself is many many mountains of shit with many levels, compounded by alloy-like layer deposits.

Simply put, it's easier to see the bullshit when dealing with republicans, because they themselves don't really hide it as well, nor do they go to college specifically to learn social sciences to learn how to lie more effectively, even if you do get the heritage foundation occassionally belching out some softcore "I'm just saying :^)" content, like talking about the IQs of different races of people and the disparity in industry from different places on earth.

By and large, those more likely to define themselves as socialists or communists tend to be more pseudo-intellectual, and operate with others. Even if they may apply themselves to more academic fields and subjects of sciences and literature. They're more likely to study communication and be more skilled at misdirection and omission, and often treat communication like the goal is to give a false pretense of cordial civility, while handling a person to do what they want.

Comparing and contrasting that to a bullshitter trying to evangelize the supremacy of the bible in all subjects, and, well, the evangelist is chained to the dogmas and approaches and perceived reality of their bible, while the pseudo-intellectual is able to lead you on after forming a rapport because you don't have any idea exactly what books or schools of thought they have under their belt on theories on psychology and how to exploit both your unfailiarity and tendency to trust. They know how to come good and they know how to give false impressions, and formally educated by other people with the desire to "lead you to your own conclusions" to make sure you conclude exactly what they want you to conclude, by giving you exactly the cherry picked ideas they lay out for you to absorb and internalize.

Right-wing perspectives can be dour and terrible takes depending on what they are. But, they're more often than not, surface area or shallow and don't require much dressing up just to interpret what you're looking at. Even if they have a few layers of deceptiveness and deceit, sometimes. Like Newt Gingrich lauding and praising the idea of a school that doesn't hire a janitor but pays the children of the inner city school to clean it as child labor, because, "it'd teach them the value of labor, discipline and money." Newt, sit down, you're just reinforcing a stereotype.

But that is absolutely nothing compared to hiding in the ambiguity or arguing by omission you get when dealing with hard-leftists, who will refuse to disclose exactly what direction they're coming from when it suits their cause, and dress up as another, allowing you to think it comes as a liberal criticism.. and then smile and go, "Oh, that's just platforming. :^)" when you call them out for what they're doing.

And having said exactly why republicans tend to dislike or hate left-wing initiatives to increase social services or the welfare state, for better or worse, you will sincerely have situations where the motivation isn't to prevent actual honest-to-god incrementalist socialists, juxtapositional racists and cranks from setting up places where you're giving free housing, food and education over others on the basis of your race so long as it's a minority, but just to prevent non-whites from having access to those at all.

Many of the people we attribute to being the classic image of the mason jar drinking, casual slur using "right-wing" conservative, are nothing of the sort. That's a satirical chimera made up of a bunch of different guys that left-wing comedians merged together to make fun of. Southern Democrats were racist as fuck, but did want a big social welfare state. Just, exclusively for whites, and others could wither on the vine. It may be considered a distinction without a difference, but those ones that did believe in social welfare for whites but not if it meant black, Hispanic, Asians and others could have that too, decided the public welfare state didn't deserve money. But those are not the same nor completely representative of any legitimate complaint against massive expansion of the welfare state.

So when discussing social services, benefits and even depending on the region and era, any sentiment of reparations, one needs to get granular. You can't just say, "right-wingers hate black people and poor people." Even if it is, in fact, true that there are many that absolutely do. It's not so simple.

It'd be equally true to say left-wingers just hate white people and love people specifically because they aren't white, as Class Struggle Theory and Privilege Theory encourage. But, also, it'd be equally absurd and untrue unless you count those disgusting people that believe that shit also represent the people that just want a legitimate avenue by which the state can provide for those that need and cannot obtain due to their circumstances of labor and housing. But we don't popularly say that, because, "that'd be right-wing propaganda!"

It wouldn't be, but that's why we don't say it. because it wouldn't be popular outside right-wing circles.

I don't have to put much effort into explaining how and why white supremacists are bad. Our society and culture goes to great lengths to all but enforce that. However, if I equally say putting black supremacists on a pedestal, not dissuading black supremacism and black supremacist talking points, do not entertain ethnosupremacists just because they're black and "speaking up on behalf of their communities," then I get accused of just hating black people.

Meanwhile compare and contrast, some no-account dude like Richard Spencer, the most milquetoast and small dick of white supremacists, talks about whites even having a community to speak of, and he gets punched in the face on camera. He's no Louis Farrakhan. And he sure as fuck isn't the Nation of Islam.

So I don't need to exert any effort at all, or avoid or contort around any accusations if I were to say, "David Duke is a terrible person and the KKK are abominable."

But if I were to say, "What we popularly imagine of as capital B Black gangs that engage in narcotics trafficing, selling, consuming, are major contributors to the Black community oppressing and destroying itself while the bloodbath gets blamed on the society around them, and due to that, attributed to White Supremacy. Black gangs are bigger dangers to all people, not just black people, but especially black people, than the KKK ever was," then I'd be looked at as a KKK apologist.

If you look at gang activity and "race conscious" ethnosupremacist movements on a venn diagram, it's practically a circle. Yet, it's only socially acceptable to point this out when it comes to white gangs. There's absolutely no social reprecussions or side-eyeing if you come good and real about that when discussing white gangs and drugs. But you commit the faux pas of saying the Capital B Black and Hispanic gangs do the same shit for the same reasons and should be regarded as dangerous for exactly the same hateful, bigoted reasons as the white gangs, and suddenly it's, "Black and Brown scare."

Even if you point out the disparity in hate crimes in the modern era on just whom is committing them against whom, you point out the numbers, incrementally, of people most likely to engage in the behaviors of attacking cops bare handed or with weapons and why, based on what identity and tribalist mentality, you point to the ultimate kill count that made the KKK so threatening and terrifying as a concept based on the danger they represent Vs. that which modern day ethnic narco gangs represent, you get treated as having ulterior motives for even making the parallel. "White hate group bad, black group valid."

That's why I don't spend my time taking apart right-wing shit. Yall already know that the vast majority of republicans are not opposing climate change legislation because they take issue with some of the more particular bullshit in it, they take issue with it largely because it cuts into profits. There are definitely sound, reasonable arguments to make on just having objections to what can be in climate change and environmentalist bills and what they want to achieve vs. what the law would do as a result, but those are not the points and directions most republicans make. And so, I don't consider them to be the same thing. When I object to a bill or a mentality that says CO2 should be treated the same as harmful poison by saying it should be treated as an unutilized resource and incentivize sequestering it, I'm not saying it because "climate change isn't real," but because, "I don't agree in the government putting an arbitrary additional exorbinant cost because someone had the audacity to try and make something by artificially labeling it more harmful than it is."

All you need to do to reject the vast, vast majority of right wing talking points is A.) reject ideological supremacy of organized religion or subjective faith as the basis for secular law and morality. B.) reject the idea things would, "just get on" with no regulations at all from the government. This is true in regards to business as well as federal social policies. C.) Reject the idea states rights should trump federal rights in everything. No, you do not get to decide marriage is valid or invalid based on your religious faith just because one region has a majority population that believes such.

Dealing with the unpleasant excesses of the hard-left is by comparison, oh so much more complicated a topic, because they do not pull from one singular source of sacred text, but hide theirs behind contemporary academic profits they put on their shoulders and then abandon for another once their opponents start forming negative opinions on their philosophy, and then like viruses slightly mutating, hide behind that veil of even pretend unfamiliarity to go the next decade's writer is entirely different fromthe Marx derivative that came before them, so your criticisms "are uneducated and won't apply until you've read that exact book."

So it's not that I don't have anything negative to say about extreme pro-life conservatives, be they religious or non, it's moreso that their views are pretty much self-evident. And/or naturally limited by our existing rules and legal system in exactly what they can do to exact the brunt of their shitty values on the rest of us. There's nothing to dissect here that isn't already well, well understood, said ad nauseum by people who are diametically opposed to everything they stand for, or easily imagined by people that have only ever argued with a religious person once.

Please do not confuse this for sharing their beliefs.

[yesimtrashforit]

I graduate high school tomorrow, so I wrote a letter to my 13 year old self.

Dear 13-year-old me,

Hi. It's your senior year self. We made it, kid. We did it. That's the first thing I want you to know. As of me writing this, we are 1 day away from graduating high school and 41 days away from turning 18 years old. I know you would probably have so many questions. That's normal. I know that you are terrified of what the future brings, and that's okay. I just wanted to write to you, because without you, I wouldn't be here. I mean, obviously I wouldn't be here, but you get my point.

I know that, at this moment, you feel so worthless. Your shoulders hurt from carrying all this pain. It is just so heavy. You feel like everyone is mad at you. You need to know that it is no one's fault. I know this sounds cliche, but life just happens that way sometimes. I'm going to answer the questions of yours that I can, but as always, we still don't have the answers to everything.

Firstly, yes, you're going to be okay. Your definition of okay is different than mine, but that's to be expected. You're alive. You are physically on this planet. That seems impossible, but I swear it's true. No one believes me when I tell them that you genuinely didn't think you would make it to 17. (I really didn't.) That's not surprising, considering that nobody knows what you're going through right now. There's a couple people in your life right now who are taking it upon themselves to brainwash you into thinking you are all these terrible things. That you're selfish, ugly, stupid, hated, whatever horrible insults that I, honestly, don't even remember much of anymore. I wanted to tell you that the biggest shock of all, despite all these wonderful and less wonderful surprises in your life, is that you are worth something. You, yes, you, the young lady who is, for better or for worse, so emotional that it destroys you. You, the girl at the back of the class who is just so overwhelmed by everything. You, the girl who has tried so hard and tripped up so many times that it feels like your whole life is one big error. You, the girl who feels like being friends with you should come with a warning sign, "caution: this is not a stable person." And most of all, you, the girl who tears herself apart to justify mistreatment from others. You are worth something. I wish I could hug you and be there for you. In a way, I am there, deep inside your soul, just.. waiting.

Second, these terrible days do nothing other than proving that you're human and you will make mistakes. Look, kids in middle school are idiots. That's just the simple truth. Everything feels so important. What you look like, what you say, what movies you watch, who you like, who you don't like. The thing is that this stuff doesn't matter. Who you are, right now, at thirteen, is not going to change anything important in your life, except what lessons you learn. It's so cliche at this point, but it is absolutely true that mistakes become lessons learned. However, these lessons often have to be learned over and over again until they really stick. It is detrimental to try and apologize and fix mistakes that haven't been made yet. That's what you're doing now and you need to know that no one, absolutely no one, is ever going to justifiably hate you for it. In life, it's not about whether or not someone hates you or criticizes you. It's whether or not they are justified in this criticism. Hint: most of the time, they aren't. Now, what will you do about it? Will you let it define and puncture every moment you think to yourself that you're pretty, you're smart, etc.? The answer is, for next couple years of your life, yes, we will and we did. Oh, boy, did we. Yes, spoiler alert: what you're going through right now affected your life in a pretty bad way for about three years. I wish I could've prepared you for that. But then again, we wouldn't be as strong today. Are we still emotional as heck to the point where we can sometimes be moved to tears by a video of a cute puppy? Yeah. Are we still so petty that we've had spirals of planning revenge to get back at the people who hurt us? Yeah. Do we still have moments of doubt, regret, guilt, and shame? Absolutely. But can we take an insult or criticism by people whose opinions don't matter? Most of the time, yes. Like a champ. You are much more vulnerable today, but you have at least some wisdom and strength. You're stronger emotionally and I think that's all we wanted at 13.

Third, adults are right except for when they're not. Right now, the adults in your life who are trying their best to help you? They have barely any clue of what it is like to be a thirteen-year-old girl in early 2020. A shocking thing I realized is that the adults in your life are not always right. Especially when it comes to bullying. Oddly, the things adults told me that I thought were wrong were right and vice versa. "Just ignore them. They'll get bored eventually." That may have worked for them, but the kids of today have the determination of a bull chasing the color red. "Fight back. They'll leave you alone after that." We tried, in our own way at least. It didn't do anything. It doesn't do any good to stoop to someone else's level. In the words of a film you haven't seen yet, but will love with all your heart: "The only thing I do know is that we have to be kind. Please, be kind. Especially when we don't know what's going on." I know it sounds insane. Being kind to the people who try their hardest to put us down. But what I've learned is that standing down is better than fighting back. In the words of a Taylor Swift song you have yet to hear: "Sometimes giving up is the strong thing. Sometimes to run is the brave thing. Sometimes walking out is the one thing that will find you the right thing." It sounds pathetic and sad, but not fighting the fire and letting the flames consume you instead is the best decision when you've tried everything else. You just have to let time do its thing. Time is the most effective medicine.

Fourth, and this is one of the most important lessons you'll learn in life: having no friends will be the greatest thing to ever happen to you in your teenage years. Let's be honest, most of your friends have not been great. Even if they didn't outright insult you or put you down, they were often still not good for you. Don't just settle for anyone who wants to be your friend. Being alone and wallowing in your feelings and sitting by yourself at lunch for several months teaches you a lot. You learn about yourself and who you want to be. Being alone is okay. It's going to be okay. Have standards for who you surround yourself with.

Finally, what now? You got really into cartoons. Taylor Swift is still your role model in everything you do. You got really into movies. You watch a lot of sad ones. You read books when you have the time. You made really great friends. Yeah, you did. These people are the sweetest, funniest, and smartest people you know. You proved everyone wrong. You are smart. You are loved. You are worthy. And I know you're me, but I'm still so proud of you. I'm proud of us. It took a couple years for us to feel okay with ourselves, to love ourselves, but we do. I love our weirdness. I love how meticulously we analyze movies and books. I love how passionate and creative we are. I love how ridiculous excited we get to play trivia games. I love how we have to resist the urge to dance in public to the music in our headphones. I love how obsessed we get with our favorite shows and podcasts to the point where it's all we can think about. I love our awkwardness in social situations that we'd rather not be in. I love how much we try to act all tough and angsty, but we're really just a big heart on the inside. I love the moments we have when we realize how life is good to us. Those moments when we are talking to the kiddos at church and realizing just how small and beautiful the world seems to them. Those moments when we listen to a song that really resonates with us and my heart swells with love for the piece of art I have the privilege of experiencing. Those moments where we look around at everyone and everything in our lives and think "this is enough. It is enough to just be here." We're certainly not perfect. We are messy and crazy sometimes, but there are people who love us despite that.

There are so many questions I wish I'd known the answer to in middle school, and the scary thing is that we still don't know some of those answers. But, the most important thing from now on is that we try our best at everything and we don't judge ourselves for not living up to every single expectation. To quote that same film I mentioned earlier, "Every rejection, every disappointment has led you here to this moment. Don't let anything distract you from it." I've realized recently that my motto is this: failure is the best teacher and you can only define helpful failure when it happens. What I mean is that failure is not the rude voice in the back of your mind that could give Fletcher from Whiplash a run for his money. Failure is the voice that says "ok, that happened how it did. Let's pick ourselves up and try again." The only person you need to prove yourself to is you. The proud version of you. The best version of you. The true version of you.

And so I leave you with this: do everything in and with love. Carry yourself with love and the knowledge of how it surrounds you. I love being us and everything that comes with it.