#(it changes context about their 'bed' to the entire relationship as a WHOLE)

[koushirouizumi]

(Because I'm still really happy about this discussion and I need to rewatch Fiddler on the Roof while cross-checking the full Yiddish script---)

For reference, there's Yiddish version of "Do You Love Me?" at that link (if slightly off sync), the English version of same song is here, and the full Yiddish script can be found here! (If the links die down the road, please check the script!)

The fundamental difference between Fiddler on the Roof and Fidler Afn Dakh:

English Tevye: Tradition!

Yiddish Tevye: Got iz a foter un heylik iz zayn toyre!

[greenqueenhightower]

How did Olivia and Fabien’s interview- where they’re clearly talking about a scene that got scrapped this season, snowball into Team Black and Alicent haters believing that they meant season one?

https://x.com/marebarrow1929/status/1799861473969160237?s=46&t=a2c3OPYBKMaDot90jYoK4A

Now they’re stating it as a fact that when Aemond got his eye sliced out, Alicent was sleeping with Criston. She is therefore a bad Mother and an even worse Mother if they’re having sex during blood and cheese (because she and Criston totally knew it was happening that night and said fuck Helaena and the twins).

It’s even become a fact to them that Alicent and Criston have been sleeping together before Rhaenyra even slept with Criston 😂😂 They’re saying it’s a 16 year affair and Daeron is definitely Criston’s son and I’m like “What about Aemond??” Would he not be their son too?

They seem to have forgotten that someone has been posting season 1’s script and some of Alicole’s interactions definitely show a mutual attraction and devotion- but they’re also all PG…. There was no “beautiful, messy, scrappy” sex scene anywhere in the scripts amongst the deleted scenes. There is nothing to allude to them having a sexual relationship. An inappropriately close relationship that blurs the lines between the Queen and her Guard, yeah that’s there but we already knew that from the scenes that did make it to the screen.

They’re holding “Hiding under your cloak of righteousness” and “Now they see you as you are” close to their chests right now.

Desperately grasping at straws to make Alicent sleeping with Criston after her husband is cold and dead, comparable and worse to Rhaenyra having 3 bastards with Harwin’s skin coloring, hair color, hair texture AND face while being married to A biracial Valyrian man, claiming they’re trueborn. Placing them in the line of succession for the IT and DWT, gaslighting and lying through her teeth about it. Something that causes Vaemond Velaryon to be murdered fighting for it to remain in his family. Let’s also not forget that Rhaenyra is seen on screen having sex with her uncle at on the night of his dead wives funeral, on her ancestral lands. While her parents and her daughters grieve.

It can’t be compared. Alicent went to her marriage bed a maiden, she took care of a man who didn’t care for his own children while Rhaenyra abandoned him for years. She was faithful to him and gave him 4 Targaryens. He’s now dead now and her job is done. Her son is on the Iron throne and she crowned her Daughter, Queen. She even gave up her rooms to her. If there wasn’t a war going on and if she hadn’t been scared for them their entire lives, her duties would be passing the reigns to Helaena. Mentoring her but mostly just living a life of leisure and comfort as the Queen Mother. She could even go back to Oldtown if she wanted or anywhere else. She could marry again if she wanted. She is a young woman still, in childbearing age.

Apart from it being out of wedlock, which is hypocritical but we already know her to be a hypocrite, just like we know Rhaenyra to be a hypocrite- it’s their thing that they do. It’s still not the same and definitely not comparable to Rhaenyra’s great big screw up.

I've honestly concluded that some of the TB stans lack media literacy, are eager to jump to conclusions, do not have the patience or willingness to discuss matters peacefully or educate themselves about the other person's POV, are content with stirring up drama and spreading misinformation, and take things out of context. This time is no exception.

I watched the whole interview of Olivia Cooke and Fabien Frankel with Jonatan Blomberg from MovieZine (he is a Swedish interviewer) before he made it private on his YouTube channel, and it is clear that they are talking about S2. Before he asked them about the experience of filming intimate scenes together, they had been talking about S2 for quite some time and how their characters' dynamics changed this season. Then, Jonatan (knowing about the leaks obviously) asked them about the experience of filming intimate scenes and how they approached it.

So there clearly was NO MENTION OF S1, and neither did Fabien nor Olivia talk about the experience as something that occurred in the previous season. Olivia literally says: "We know each other so well at this point," meaning the time they started filming scenes for S2, and Fabien adds: "We have this sort of added bonus of having worked together for a year and having developed a friendship and a trusting relationship."

So they are clearly talking about S2, for which they shot a "beautiful, messy, scrappy sex scene" but which did not make the cut for reasons known to the producers. They did make it sound as if they filmed other sex scenes though, which we will again see this season.

For my take on why Alicent and Criston could have started sleeping together in S1 only after Viserys' death, and why the "Daeron is their love-child" theory holds no ground, see here.

[orcelito]

orcelito's trigun fic recs!

making this for @trigunfanfic's fic appreciation week! this is a nonexhaustive list & not in any particular order (aside from the smut fics, which i separated into another section). just a few fics i rly love & think should get more attention!!

so Here are the multichapters (some of which have smut, but it's not the focus):

someone to last your whole life by catchatter / @needlab7

this one is sooooooooooooooooooooooo 🥺 i was reading it as it was being released and MAN it drove me insane. every bit of the post-trimax love and healing i couldve ever wanted. genuinely one of my fav trigun fics. it's just so well written & evocative. it really does feel like Vash and Wolfwood... and just. aughghghgh im gonna have to reread it sometime bc it truly is something special

CAUSE OF DEATH (See instructions and examples) by neatrogenous / @floofyfluff

this is the other post-trimax fic that Changed My Life. i read it all in one go in one euphoric hyperfocus. i felt every emotion known to mankind. it is just. slkdfjsldfjlskdfj god. i adore how Vash is written here. both of them, really. it just feels so much like them. someday, i will reread this one Too...

Make it to Daybreak by @hypermoyashi (on both ao3 and tumblr)

god. what to say about this one. honestly i have never watched Demon Slayer so going into this fic i was missing that context, but i never felt like i was actually missing out on much. Allen does such a fantastic job at bringing u into the world without having to know anything about it at all. i LOOOOVE demon vash sooo much. so very much. im a little behind on updates rn sldfsdfkj but im excited to catch back up bc everything about this au is just Sooooo fun. everyone potentially interested in Demon Vash should read this. Do it. Right Now. 🥺 pls

Trillium and Ivy by @shastafirecracker (on both ao3 and tumblr)

AUGHHHHHH omfg this one was one of the first fics i read for trigun, and MAN it really set a high bar for me. im a little picky when it comes to modern aus, but this one is just so.... WONDERFUL... i read the entire thing in the first half of my day one day and spent the rest of my day in a fugue state. it was just SO SO SO good. i recently reread it and even having read it before, it was just as wonderful to read. realistic relationship development, compelling Saverem drama, all of it. it's also probably my favorite fic for the depiction of Vash's injury & recovery. the first time i read it i was just blown away by how realistic it felt, right down to the trauma memories of watching bargain bin movies while he was stuck in bed. honestly i could rant for forever about this one lol. it truly is special.

and RELATED TO THAT,,,

Wildflowers, also by ShastaFirecracker

i actually didnt know these 2 fics were written by the same person at first lol. Wildflowers got linked in my trigun server & i checked it out bc Fuck Yeah trans wolfwood. and then had my world just blown away. it's SUCH a good fic, & i really am such a sucker for fantasy au. and i was just absolutely gushing about how realistic the depiction of trans wolfwood was even before i finished the fic. SUCH a great fic. so imagine my surprise & delight when i went back to reread Trillium and Ivy and realized -- OH FUCK, it's by the SAME PERSON !!! such beautiful writing, For Real. i really do love these 2 fics.

Sun, Moon, and Stars by tragic_unpaired_electron (can't find a tumblr link on the fic or ao3 profile, so if anyone knows them feel free to share this with them pls !!)

WOW LOOK it's a fic that doesnt have VW as the main focus!!! unfortunately the only one of those on this list (i May be a tad predictable...), & it really earned its place here. it's just such a fascinating fic that answers the question of What If Tesla Survived? i adore the exploration of her strengths and struggles, as well as her sibling relationship with Knives and Vash. it's so INTERESTING, and it gets into the meat of fighting for the rights of Independent Plants (and plants in general) and just. man. i read this and wanted to devote my life to one Tesla Saverem. she is so precious and hard-headed and SUCH a good big sister. pls do read it, it's such a lovely fic

and NOW...

onto the smut fics lol.

there are Plenty of very good smut fics around, but these are the ones that really stuck with me. either for being Different than the norm, or just being very... well. ya kno lol.

dont worry about the picture this paints of me lmfaoooo

you'll never get enough by tagteamme / @phaltu

AGHHHHHHHHH oh my god this fic made me FEEL things. it's a boxer / gym au, and MAN does it do it well. u get the sweaty gym setting, u get the homoeroticism & horny pining, u get the blatant masochism that drives them both... im just obsessed with it. that stove scene is going to stay with me For Life. & the smut is of course VERY good, but the Vibes... oh the Vibes are so impeccable. obsessed.

there is a season for all things by SolidShrimp (cant find their tumblr on the fic/profile, but i Know ive seen them on tumblr 🤔 if anyone knows their url, pls do me a favor and send this to them!)

THIS ONE.......................... man. man. man. man. like i know xeno is The Average for fandom vash, except the normal flower "plantussy" doesnt really do much for me. im too much of a monster fucker for that i guess. it's not BAD, just not particularly exciting. this, though? now, THIS one left an impression. ive already gushed about it to the writer in the comments of the first fic (havent kept up with the sequel fics, tho i really should catch back up sometime) so i'll keep it brief here. just. such an UTTERLY delightful inhuman vash portrayal, to the point where his reproductive biology is just plain incompatible with Wolfwood & Meryl's (oh yeah, it's mashwood, which is WONDERFUL...). wolfwood and meryl are in over their head trying to figure out how to get vash off in his own way, but they do their Absolute Best!!! it's just rly sweet and i adore the way the writer went Full Ham into the inhuman aspects. utterly delightful.

Kick me once again, and say we'll never part by epsilontauri (doesn't look like they're on tumblr? there's just a link to their twitter on the fic. but if anyone knows them, feel free to send this to them!)

this one is. so. very. AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. ok i will be honest this is probably my favorite vw smut. and it's barely even smut. the sequel is definitely much more sex, but this one is. well. it's some extreme, dangerous, and barely negotiated S&M. as the saying goes, it's neither Safe Or Sane, but it sure is consensual! it's just so. well looking at just the tags sure does reveal it. horrible coping, it's an intense fic, but it's just so.......... DELIGHTFUL........... i really really really love fics that stick to their guns like this. and i love how even though Wolfwood had a GREAT time, we get to see how it kinda freaked Vash out (he did Not like hurting Wolfwood), so the sequel is good for a fic where they're both genuinely having lots of fun. this one is actually rather not fun for Vash. but it's just. it's about the Extremity of it. the Possessiveness. pushing someone to their absolute limits!!!!!!!!! this is another fic that i rambled in the comments about bc. yeah. yeah. it's. just trust me. if ur into fucked up dudes being fucked up dudes, this is the fic for you.

& OKAY i think that's my list. again, it's nonexhaustive, but ive had enough typing i think lol

hope u guys enjoy the recs 🥺

[hopefull-mindset]

How do you feel about the difference in Nagito's confession in Japanese and English?

In Japanese he kinda pauses saying something along the lines of 'in love with y...' before going on about hope inside.

But in English it's straight to loving the hope in Hajime.

I was hoping I’d be able to talk about this! If anyone needs a further explanation on the translation error, I recommend reading this first. It’s my favorite explanation because it deconstructs the Japanese to English process thoroughly, and the ambiguity of the whole thing really explains why Hajime was so confused. I’ve seen doubt as to fan translations being right at all, so I hope this helps out.

Now there isn’t many new things to say about a game this old with a large fanbase like this, but with new fans means more information to be spread (and misinformation respectively), so I’d be happy to speak!

UMMM I have no idea if anything I said down below is even what you were asking me, maybe you were just asking me about the decision of changing it, which um I don’t blame the official translators for going straight into it because it’s a fairly ambiguous line and most japanese fans go straight into it too when they qoute it, but official translators are not credible for their care of finer details that could be clearly translated into English, so it’s whatever I guess. Japanese fans also shouldn’t be our guide to consuming media of their language since they’re also just people, and I think it’s probably just easier to quote it like that without it sounding confusing the way it does in text.

This has been practically common knowledge by now to know that it was an aborted love confession, meaning there isn’t much to be said on its own. With all that’s been spread about this, a common misunderstanding is with the use of “Aishiteru” (愛してる) being “more romantic” than any other form of “I like/love you” (Suki/Daisuki), which is not true. It’s much more intense than the other two because of it directly using “Ai” (愛) and in turn used less compared to them because of its intensity. In same line of thinking, usually it’s reserved for serious occasions like marriage, a loved one on their death bed, a final goodbye for someone you care for deeply, etc. but none of it makes it anymore romantic because all three can be used platonically. It’s solely dependent on the context it’s used for.

It’s just like how we use “I love you” in English and how many things it could mean at once, albeit we don’t have three separate ways to express it. Well there’s actually more ways to express love, but you only really need to know these three. I know a lot of sources tend to say “Aishiteru” (愛してる) is romantic, but that’s most likely because you’re looking at sources that are talking about it in a romantic context. It’s not platonic in the sense that you’d go up to your friend and say it, that sends a lot of mixed messages and real odd to attempt, but platonic in that someone you truly have a deep connection with, family member or otherwise.

On the contrary, it’s much more common to use Suki/Daisuki (好き / 大好き) in a love confession and everyday life. Usually you wouldn’t even use “Aishiteru” (愛してる) in your entire life, that isn’t uncommon. So typically the most you’ll see or hear “Aishiteru” (愛してる) used is in fictional japanese media or songs. Using it in a confession like Komaeda almost did is like… imagine going up to someone and telling them that you want to spend your entire life together, meet their parents, fully commit to each other, raise children (if that’s what you want), and die together before you’re even in the relationship or even had your first kiss yet. Like obviously you’re not saying all of that, you might not even mean that, but it’s implied with the intensity of it. It’s that extreme and would definitely confuse someone if you tried. It’s not exactly for someone you just started dating either.

Why does “Ai” (愛) make it so intense though? Compared to other ways of saying love like “Koi” (恋) for example (not gonna explain that one), it’s the purest, most heightened form of expressing love verbally in japanese culture because of the giving and profound nature of it. It’s loving in a way that encases a warm feeling all around you, so painfully genuine yet committed. Its something that’s formed over time with much care, and doesn’t ask for anything back. It’s that big to use, but siamotainously it’s awkward and a little embarrassing to use because it’s practically unsaid irl. There is a lot to personal reservations and such, but as a culture, japan is more reserved with their verbal expressions. This doesn’t speak for the entire country, but just in general actions speak louder than something as literal like “Aishiteru” (愛してる).

I had to go over that before I talked about Komaeda because I don’t want there to be a misunderstanding with what I’m about to say. Sorry to break the news to anymore who was star-eyed after learning what “Ai” (愛) meant in context, but the reason I went over that first with extensive context is because Komaeda is not at all liberated when he uses it. Not only does he use it here in the infamous error of all errors in sdr2, he uses it when he talks about hope, talent, and Junko. Shocking I know, but that’s why I had to go over that “Ai” (愛) is not just romantic love so this will be less awkward for all of us.

Ignoring the oddness of it and how dramatic this usage is, it’s incredibly in-character for Komaeda to use it like that considering his sincere and devoted nature when it comes to hope and talent. He says himself that what he feels is selfless, so that’s going to reflect in his speech, but he uses it so casually that it feels like a joke. It’s a quite poetic expression of love, even with all the cultural context, so it’s fitting. He’s pretty no filter with how he talks about it, but with anything else with Komaeda—it’s more complex than that. While being 100% honest with everything he says, his deep connection with hope and talent is borderline obsessive and that brings into question his relationship with love.

I have many thoughts on how his hope/despair stuff works, but let’s stay on topic this one time because a lot is intertwined. With his usage of “Ai” (愛) with reference of Junko, we should all know he doesn’t love her. He doesn’t love the embodiment of despair and despises it in the same breath he even expressed love for it at all. What he feels for Junko is obsession through and through, but what he feels is still genuine connection, it’s just absurdly twisted. It’s why he still uses it, even though at most what he feels for her is contempt. He “loves” it because it’ll be destroyed for what will truly shine in the end. The connection is deep enough for him to take her hand and finally become one with it.

Junko didn’t twist his concept of love completely, it was already a little off, she exploited the potential of it. I’ve mentioned this point before in my twitter thread, but when faced with the motivations in trials 1, 2, and 3 he cannot see past their motivations other than their “hopes”, rather than their actual reasons: various forms of love. My immediate thought while writing was, “was it not really absolute hope that he needed or wanted, but instead the selfless love people like Naegi or Hajime could wield for others?” I can’t tell you how correct that is, but it holds close to when he said what he wanted was somebody’s love before he died.

To really talk about that with more depth, I’d have to do a separate post about his view of people in general. If you’d like to see that, just let me know. I really would like to stay on topic, and you weren’t exactly asking about that.

Now don’t be weird guys, it doesn’t make his confession any less genuine just because his concept of love is kinda fucked due to only being able to feel it through his obsession with hope since all genuine connection is very limited (non-existent) for him, it just puts into more context as to why Hajime was confused. He’s said something similar about his feelings of hope as early as chapter 1.

Does this mean he really did just meant the hope that sleeps inside Hajime? Well obviously not, otherwise I wouldn’t be talking about this. It also doesn’t mean that his love for Hajime is on the same obsessive level as Hope, talent, or freaking Junko for the matter. Junko was a whole other situation when his mental stability was at its worst. Here’s what actually happened: right when he admitted he wanted somebody’s love, he immediately backpedaled that claiming everything he said was just something he lied about because he started to see that Hajime might want to grow closer and forgive him, and then then started rambling about total bullshit about Hajime killing him and the potential hope in him, even though he just said that he didn’t get the same feeling from him as other ultimates.

Very funny Komaeda, though I don’t think he wasn’t being genuine there. Maybe he did think that regardless of the “both miserable bystanders” comment because he also thought he himself could be ultimate hope in chapter 5. I feel like we knew this part well enough, so I’ll talk about the confession finally. I don’t know what compelled him to try and confess like that, but maybe he was trying to be more honest after what he did to derail him and backtracked again? Who knows.

He was starting with an actual confession, but why did he backtrack the way he did? I have two potential answers. First answer was that he didn’t want to weigh Hajime down with the burden of his feelings, and made it sound like his typical Komaeda bullshit instead. Second answer is that Komaeda doesn’t know how to express his love for Hajime and derailed it to Hajime’s hope instead because that’s the only context he’s used “Ai” (愛) in and is used to that. Him using it here doesn’t make it less sincere in his almost-confession, it’s just… complex.

Maybe if this was his only hint of loving Hajime, his feelings for him would be more controversial as “canon”, thankfully it isn’t! Maybe both answers are right in their own right, it would definitely correlate with my own thoughts about his stupidly complicated justification’s for getting closer to Hajime and making excuses for him. If you haven’t read it, I said that while Komaeda was catching feelings for Hajime as an individual, he made excuses for himself that the reason he cared for him was because he was an ultimate (meaning someone who carried potential Hope), but the only reason he let himself be close to a “supposed ultimate” was because we felt that they were similar and that he had “an air unlike the others”. Which was probably why he was so confused as to why he still cared after finding out what he did in chapter 4 because his justification no longer worked.

Although we know that Komaeda absolutely does love Hajime, I am relieved that they used different expressions of love here (both Suki and Dasuki) to make sure we know he does love him. Can it be used platonically? Sure, but the context does not position it like that.

That’s my um opinion I guess?? Hope you got more than what you were expecting? I wonder why I keep making long posts when it’s not going to get that much attention…. I was originally going to say that what’s important about him using “Ai” (愛) is the genuine intent there and not the romantic implication of it since context matters more, and that hasn’t changed at all, but this turned into a completely different conversation. My bad.

[skepticalarrie]

What do you think about this theory? https://youtu.be/h9P-D5XeKfo?si=SYUixGz1jR9yXjyW there’s also some interesting comments under the video, including the one where someone thinks that Harry’s house is a chronicle of L and H’s relationship.

Not to forget about this vid of harry saying “the first time he broke up with me”: https://youtu.be/mYoJs54gwwg?si=TEFypP-BlyT0z0ao. And I remember that one interview (pretty sure it’s this one: https://youtu.be/vW58mqY0G7c?si=shICPVTOQZOMc7Xp), where someone supposedly Liam is saying that harry wanted to remove his tattoos(?) and Louis looked heartbroken. He actually looks miserable throughout this entire vid, as it was around the time when H and Taylor started “dating”. Honestly, it all matches with some of their lyrics and I can imagine Louis not handling the pressure of this entire thing that well and “running away” from it somehow.

I believe that they are stable now, but for me there were some clear break ups.

Now let me analyze their lyrics according to those theories:

(Before I start, it’s gonna be a long run, because I found so many interesting things)

Louis:

“When you don't want coffee in the morning. I know I'm in a hole. It's hard enough to get you sober. Got no chance if I'm hungover”.

“Hey, babe. It's written all over your face, say it. A hurricane behind the door. So I've come ready for a war (…) So when you find out what we're fighting for. I'll be ready to talk”

“And we can't even be on the phone now. And I can't even be with you alone now. Oh, how shit changes. We were in love, now we're strangers”

“And I'm sorry I let you down. I guess that I know what I already knew. I was better with you. And I miss you now”.

“You let your pride hide all your beauty and your kindness. So fast to judge in error, you thought you knew me better”

“I call you but you never even answer”

Harry:

“I'm in my bed. And you're not here. And there's no one to blame but the drink in my wandering hands. Forget what I said. It's not what I meant. And I can't take it back, I can't unpack the baggage you left”

“Test of my patience. There's things that we'll never know. You sunshine, you temptress”

“And I’m just an arrogant son of a bitch. Who can't admit when he's sorry”.

“I don't wanna make you feel bad. But I've been trying hard not to talk to you”

“Sittin' in the garden, I'm a couple glasses in. I was tryna count up all the places we'vе been”

“Only callin' you when. He don't wanna be alone”

So… What I get from this is that Louis might’ve broke with Harry one time because of their difficulties, and he tried to contact him, but Harry couldn’t even bring himself to talk to him over the phone (idk it might be after the band ended). Harry admits that he has communication problems and can say too much, or judge something too soon, which might be the reason Louis left him one more time (maybe it was the first breakup??) And there’s this whole thing of them both drinking their problems away… (Not to mention, that some ppl believe that Harry isn’t sober in that 3rd video I linked here, scrolled trough the comments and there are some theories like that).

Also one funny little thing (off topic, lmao): did you notice that Louis stars Chicago with “I saw you had a baby, did you?” And Harry sings “I’m having your baby” in Kiwi. That could be their insane joke or smth like that.

Quick addition: Harry also has an a entire song that feels like a reassurance (“fine line”) & Louis mentions his supposed love interest trying to be positive during the hard time (““I come runnin' to you like a moth into a flame. You tell me, "Take it easy," but it's easier to say”).

Sorry for such a long text. I know that we can’t interpret everything literally, but honestly… there could be smth to it all.

Hi, anon. "First time he broke up with me" is very much taken out of context, he's talking about Rob Stringer.

I don’t believe in that theory, love. Maybe they did break up at some point or spent some time apart, but I think it’d be impossible for us to really know. It feels like such a stretch to try and connect dots like that. Personally, I don’t see any signs of a breakup (especially when these things were happening in real time) and I think they’ve been consistent with their signalling, plus I don’t interpret any of the songs that way. You're more than welcome to believe it if makes sense to you and I’m not saying you shouldn’t interpret lyrics however you want, but if you’re curious about my take, check out my LYRIC ANALYSIS tag. I also have a THEY NEVER BROKE UP tag for more of this topic, which... trust me, gets discussed endlessly in this fandom (for whatever reason!)

[avonne-writes]

Fic Ask Game

If anyone wants to play, I cut a list of questions together from various ask games. Send me a number from this list and I'll answer in the context of Reverie. 😊

How often does your character "brush over" conflict instead of facing it head on? Is there something specific they don't like to face, or do they avoid conflict as a whole?

What's one minor moment your character regrets? A small mistake, but something they "can't erase"?

What was your character like when they were four years old? Were they loud? Shy? Were they the resident "weird kid" or did they get along with others their age?

What is this character's most expensive habit or hobby? Do they ever feel guilty about the money they spend on it?

What's one way this character has changed over time? Either over the course of their story, or over the course of designing them as an author.

Are there any scenes in this work that take place at nighttime? Is this significant, or just the passing of time?

Do a find-and-replace on the word "smirk" and share any lines that pop up.

Are there any moments in this work that you think could scare a reader? Are there any moments where the characters themselves are profoundly scared?

Is there anything that scares the main characters about their friendship/relationship?

Are there any moments in this work where a character's clothing or accessories play a major role?

Share your favourite kiss scene from this work. If there's no kiss scene, share your favourite moment of intimacy (romantic or platonic)

Does this fic incorporate any symbolism based on religion, theology, or mythology? If so, give an example.

Are there any characters you've had to "cut" from a story? Are there any moments/chapters/stories you've had to "cut" entirely?

What was the moment when the main characters realized they were in love?

Who is more stubborn?

When they are having a fight, what is it about and how do they deal with it?

Who causes the most arguments?

Do any of them have bad habits that the other can’t stand?

Pick a physical attribute that they love about each other.

What are their most prominent memories of each other?

What are they like when sharing a bed?

How open are they with their feelings?

Do they have pet names for each other?

Does their view of themselves differ from their partner’s view?

Do they get jealous?

What are their ways of expressing their love?

Do they ever disappoint each other?

Is there any moment that happens between them and just makes you melt?

How does their love change as they get older?

Share anything you would like about the couple!

[alfgifu]

Fic analysis 54. As the Wave Hesitant

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58428883/chapters/148831711

Word count: 13,560

Chapters: 2

First posted: 24th August 2024

Last chapter up: 25th August 2024

Summary: 

Cliopher doesn’t dream of kissing. Except once, after watching the Moon Lady attempt to seduce his Radiancy.

If he thought to mention that on the vaha, some things might have turned out very differently. Others, exactly the same.

How and why this came about

A friend reflected on a discord channel that it isn’t quite true to say that Cliopher doesn’t dream of kissing, because in Hands of the Emperor he has a dream of the Moon Lady and his Radiancy that leaves him aroused and “very much in sympathy with his lord”.

So, would anything have been different if Cliopher remembered that on the vaha in Sky Ocean in At the Feet of the Sun?

The question struck me as incredibly compelling because I think it gets at the heart of the ambivalence we see in Cliopher as a character. He tells us that he has had lovers and prides himself on being good in bed (in a slow, considerate way). We see him on page masturbating after the incident with the Moon Lady and his Radiancy. We see him accepting an invitation to have sex with a friend, Vho Suzen. We see him admiring his Radiancy’s body in a whole host of ways (“like a story of creation” indeed). But we also see that he doesn’t think about the possibility of kissing Fitzroy or consider that Fitzroy might want to have sex with him until a long time after all these things have happened. He doesn’t think of himself as somebody who wants sex, he doesn’t mind not having sex, his great desire is for a committed and publicly recognised friendship/partnership, not for a physical union.

It struck me at once that if something alerted him to the fact that Fitzroy wanted to kiss him, or have sex with him, there was every chance that he would happily fuck Fitzroy boneless without thinking twice about it. It’s not unimportant to him, exactly, but it’s not perhaps important in the sort of way that would (to Cliopher) be a defining moment in their relationship.

The inspiration plunged me at once into liveficcing the scenario. I wrote the whole of the first chapter in chunks over several days, mostly in the early mornings or on commute. The second chapter took a lot more time and thought, because I had brought my scenario back round to dock into canon and wanted to see what changed about the vaha scene with this different context.

Bluntly, how important was sex/whether or not these characters had had sex to the articulation of their commitment to one another?

Not much at all, I thought. But I had to work through it step by step to see if at any point it did give rise to a difference in direction.

What worked and what didn’t

With the first chapter I was deliberately trying to write a different sort of sex scene from most of my other works. I wanted it to be soft, slow, and tender. There are several authors in the fandom whose smut is so gorgeously evocative and I wanted to see if I could learn from them and do some of that. This was a situation where it helped to be writing over several days in discord-text-box chunks, because it helped me think about the very small movements or shifts I wanted to make slowly, and to set each one out with deliberate care. I really liked the result and definitely want to do more of this.

The second chapter felt like an entirely different beast. I ended up sitting with At the Feet of the Sun open and simply typing out the whole of chapter fifty-four, The Song of the Breaking Waves, asking myself with each paragraph, “Has this changed?”

Most of it hadn’t. There is still a misunderstanding, because the noodles hadn’t actually discussed what they were doing and because they have such different perspectives on what it meant. It took longer to think and work through, even though I only made small tweaks, than it had taken me to write the entire first chapter from scratch - but I’m very pleased with where it ended up. It does feel a bit cheeky, hewing so close to the text and yet making such significant changes, particularly with a scene that means so much to many readers, but it’s also the kind of experimentation with narrative that fanfic is uniquely suited to support and I’m proud of it.

This was another fic where I explicitly sought out beta readers and benefitted from their thoughtful advice. 

What I learned from writing it

An interesting effect with the first chapter was that I often ended one short section with the start of the next one hovering in my mind, but when I came back the next day and picked up I invariably went in a different direction and didn’t feel like that was a loss. The best next line changed on me without any particular reason, just that alfgifu on Tuesday went in a direction that hadn’t occurred to her on Monday, and so on. I don’t think the version I would have written if I had jotted down and stuck with all my ‘next best lines�� when they appeared would have been any worse than the one I ended up with, but it would absolutely have been a different story.

There’s a reflection in there about the contingency of history and the impact of a butterfly flapping its wings, etc, but there’s also a reflection in there of growing confidence as a writer. There were multiple good ways I could write this fic and I didn’t need to stick to the first one that came to mind. I could just go with whatever felt right at the time I was writing and not worry about missing some better option.

This fic, like In every heart, is also directly referencing the conversations in the fandom about Kip and Fitzroy and the role of sex (if any) in their relationship. I don’t personally find the question itself particularly weighty but I can see how much it carries for other people, and it has been interesting and informative to be part of those conversations.

A long-term committed relationship that includes some recognition and promise to one another certainly does not have to include compatible and mutual sexual desire, or actual sex. But it’s also tricky when one person wants sex and the other doesn’t. And it’s even more tricky when one person wants sex and the other isn’t really fussed either way but idealises a relationship that doesn’t have to be about sex. 

That’s a crunchy interesting conflict, because character B is putting their love of an ideal of what a relationship looks like above figuring out the dynamics of the actual relationship they are in. With this fic, though, I think I’ve finished saying all the things I want to say about it - at least until there’s more relevant canon.

[santaclaushohoho1]

writing blog 4 you little bitch:

i got a lot of worldbuilding and basic plotting done in my head. motivations, archetypes, names, landscapes, architecture, races, culture, and images are swimming around in my head. most have been written down

tomorrow i am hoping to draw a map and start expanding on races and cultures in my notebook. writing draws ever closer. the cultures will probably change as i move on through the story, as i am sure the (college (subtle brag 😎 (shut up xxprogamerxx)) anthropology class i am taking will give me so many ideas i want to include.

george r.r. martin, stephen king, and andrzej sapkowski are providing a large amount of inspiration but it is not a crossover fan fiction where Jon Snow fucks Geralt and a mother, mother, daughter, son, and weird fucking uncle relationship forms between yennefer, sussanah, ciri, jake, and eddie (i listed them in their respective roles).

this is entirely original

i swear

i plan for the map to be super detailed and i would like to start tonight but i am wiped out so instead i am going to watch the click in bed, sleep, and start on it in the morning

if i dont wake up early enough to do mapping before i start school i will work on basic plotting and maybe design a couple languages

some will be ancient and out of use, but somehow still relevant to important things (fucking latin) and others will be used regularly, though most humanoids will speak my version of common

i also have 12 religions to create

this will be a lot of fun, and considering how much of my time i spend thinking about this stuff, i am hopeful i finish quickly

i ALSO developed a schedule that i will do for writing when the time comes around. my goal is 95,000 words, and i have mathed it out so that if i can write 3,750 words a week (not that much, 750 words, 5 days a week or 536ish words a day) then it will be completed in in less than six months. this is doable and also gives me a LOT of wiggle room, both to get extremely ahead of schedule (if i get really into it) or really behind schedule (if i can only bring myself to write 500 a day for a week, i have another 2 days to write that extra 1250) (for context, this is over 400 words, so i will need to write less than 2 of these a day, this only took me maybe 20 minutes but that's including going over a couple times with my eyes and with Grammarly to fix any spelling mistakes and grammar errors (as well as adding tags and this side note, we are more like at 547 in this whole thing, including the tags), i will not be doing that on my rough draft because that shit is supposed to be rough and editing it will kill my motivation so hard)

i got my shit together raccoon!!! woohoo!!!

[piratesandexplorers]

Well, some time last year I said I was going to watch the not-so-new-anymore Swallows and Amazons film on Netflix, but apparently it's taken a dose of Covid to lay me up in bed and actually get me to do it.

I have lots of thoughts, as I promised I would...

(Spoilers ahead I guess, but nothing big that's not fairly obvious from trailers etc., I don't think.)

There were a lot of little nitpicky things that annoyed me, but I could probably have got past those (actually, no I couldn't, but never mind) if the whole thing had been good enough to carry me through. I'm obviously biased, and it did have its good points, probably fun enough as a kids' film, but I genuinely just think it was poor storytelling, which is extra disappointing as it was based on such a good story. Some of the bigger things that I had problems with:

The Spy Plot. I don't really have that much to say on this one because it's obvious that the second they decided to go with this idea, it stopped being Swallows and Amazons. The modern thing is to believe everything needs Super High Stakes and Lots Of Action or kids will be bored. I think they're wrong, but there we go. (Sorry, Andrew Scott, I'd watch you in anything, but you didn't belong here.) But even accepting that for what it is, I just don't think they did what they were trying to do particularly well, so on that note...

Character development and relationships. So much went wrong here, I don't know where to start. Obviously they butchered both John and Susan (presumably because they lazily read them as boring and, rather than read any deeper, just changed them entirely), as well as Mrs Walker and her relationship with the children. Genuinely, what's wrong with writing families who like and trust each other? Captain Flint was already ruined by the spy plot, but his eventual switch to being the nice fun uncle didn't work well even in the context they gave him - it felt like they just went "and actually he turned out to be nice, which you should just accept and not question because it's just a kids' story so it's not that deep". Which does such an injustice to the original writing. Then there are the Blacketts, who need a third point all to themselves:

The Blacketts. I was so disappointed with Nancy and Peggy. I feel bad criticising children, but I didn't think the actors playing them were good at all (compared to the Walkers, who could all act). But the real issue I had with them was their lack of screentime?? They barely appeared, we had no time to get to know them, to care about them, or to see any sign of genuine friendship between them and the Swallows. There was no spark to them at all, no sign of Nancy's charisma, or sense of them as the wild rule-breakers. Mrs Blackett was a non-character too, which is forgivable as she was sort of a non-character in the first book, but given that they did give her extra screentime, they could at least have given her some characterisation?

The Pacing. I feel like this point wraps the previous ones together, because the cause is the spy plot and the result (or one of them) is the bad/non-existent character-dev. There's no time for the characters to unfold, no time for them to sit and talk to each other, no time for extra scenes that show relationships, no time for fireworks on the cabin roof or parleys around the campfire or Vicky/Bridget's birthday or fishing trips or Octopus Lagoons or Nancy bullying policemen on John's behalf. Even the Black Spot gets delivered in a moment at the dining table, with no explanation of what it means. And it's mainly because most of the time is taken up by the Big Plot, but it's not only that - those small but important scenes are also replaced by things like losing the food hamper, and John shouting at Roger, and Roger falling in the lake. Things they obviously decided were more Dramatic and Exciting, but actually do nothing meaningful at all. It all just feels completely rushed, which is the opposite of Ransome's vibes. And not only that, but the piling on of difficulties, and problems, and fights, and things going wrong, just makes the whole island camping expedition seem entirely depressing, rather than a taste of joyful freedom.

The Aesthetic. Related to the last point, but I did think that the one thing we would get from this film, since they filmed on location, would be the feel of the Lakelands and the scenery and rural Northern England in the 20s. I got almost none of that. Again, probably because the only things they cared about were spies with guns and ramping up the sense of danger and difficulty at every turn.

It sounds like I hated the film, and I didn't hate it. It was fun to watch, I thought the kids playing Tatty (whose name change I do get) and Roger were particularly good, and I liked the Billies (although less so the fact that Susan and Roger didn't even meet them, and Tatty screaming the place down over the adder).

I just didn't think it was particularly good as a film, let alone an adaptation of Swallows and Amazons. Which, as a Swallows and Amazons fan, is just really sad.

What's funny to me is that the Netflix synopsis says: "When four siblings camp on an island in the middle of a lake during their vacation, they fall into a whimsical turf war with two boisterous rivals." Which is... far more of a description of the original plot than of the plot of the film.

[the-dalseum-duet]

ON THE ROAD TO HELL THERE WAS A RAILROAD LIIIIIINE 🗣️🗣️🗣️

good luck deciphering whatever the fuck any of this means @svwhssftr

I LOVE HADESTOWN SM AUUUGHHH. NARRATORS IN MUSICALS KILL ME AND THERE ARE FOUR (4) SO WE’RE STARTING W THEM 

Crow as Hermes. Similar energy. Just there for a good time but also has the ability to be serious when necessary. Hard to explain this choice but it seemed obvious to me considering the rest of the choices. Also the brother-like relationship between Hermes and Orpheus. 

The fates are difficult. Bc there’s 3 of them and everything w the Dalseum duet comes back to the number two. I did this very intentionally so I really don’t know. Leaning towards Sara, Charlie, and Sonnet just bc the fates are all strong-voiced women and they’re the closest thing we have to three women who are unrelated to the plot. Marie could be the third but she does not have the slinky, sultry energy Sonnet has. The fates aren’t all that important to the story. They’re just cool and intimidating and I love them dearly. I think the three of them could carry some heavy jazz vocals.  

now Persephone and Hades are so heavily costco coded that this pains me. we’re going to do some flipping around here though and go with Noeul as Persephone and Kai as Hades. Because Persephone is an alcoholic that’s my entire thought process there. He was living it up on top. And he has a bit more empathy than Kai buried deep inside him I feel like. He’s a much worse human being but he does have very strong emotions.

Persephone uses her power as a goddess very irresponsibly. She’s a drug addict bro. Persephone put the substances down. But the people still love her because she’s all they have. She sucks but she’s their only hope. Noeul ass situation 

Kai as Hades idk man. Just the aura. The whole “I CONDUCT THE ELECTRIC CITY” thing? I can see kai going on a power trip just for it to be threatened by… some guy wanting to save his girlfriend from his labor camp. And Kai would be more willing to toy around with Gale. Noeul just refuses to acknowledge him. But Kai would absolutely call him a pretty little songbird and mock him for being poor. Patrick Page new kai voice claim (slash j) 

***hey um update after re-listening to some of the soundtrack ABSOLUTELY not 100% it’s the other way around!! Noeul as hades and kai as Persephone. Persephone’s high energy and role as a voice of reason for Hades despite being fucking batshit insane is so kai. And Hades refusing to compromise his crooked system to pity some poor child until Orpheus compares his love for Eurydice to his love for Persephone? HELLO. Noeul. 

Also. “Just as long as I am your WIFE.” kai delivery. “You and your pity don’t fit in my bed, you just burn like a fire in the pit of my bed” ??? KOHLS ASS LINE. How Long my beloved. also. Hades’ and Orpheus’ exchange during Chant reprise? About keeping Persephone shackled? NOEUL AND MAKO HOLY SHIT. Chant overall is so fucking good. And the entire last verse of Epic III is about Noeul regardless of Hadestown au context. This whole show is ridiculous GOD. when the time loop media hits. me when I conduct the electric city

now for the fun. Orpheus and Eurydice as Mako and Gale. They’re perfect idk how i didn’t make this connection sooner. Probably because Adam’s entire character has been based on Orpheus since 8th grade and I refuse to change that. But for this I will. 

Orpheus is the son of a muse, so he has supernatural artistic abilities (very hard to explain this but like… his music is of the gods). And the whole Mako being a pseudo-god thing. Perf. And Orpheus’s personality fits. Fairly nonchalant but full of passion and love. Strong Greek myth protagonist energy. Mako WOULD casually traverse the river Styx and endless miles of barbed wire fences while singing a little song for his precious little boyfriend. And casually perform a feat no one ever has before just to MONUMENTALLY fuck it up

GALE AS EURYDICE I’M KICKING MY FEET RN I ADORE THAT WOMAN. 

Eurydice is an orphan. You’ll never guess who else is an orphan. As of literally yesterday while I was cleaning at work. That’s right it’s gayul porta

And Eurydice’s a little feisty. She’s got a little kick to her. Gale too has this overall air of disbelief at everything that’s happening but still partaking anyway. Also more than willing to marry this random ass guy he just met bc he said he was pretty

But Gale is also practical. He’s scrappy. He does what he needs to do in order to survive, no matter what that is. And that’s the driving force of Eurydice’s character too so it fits perfectly. He WOULD sell his soul for money. That’s more or less what he did during the Doehunt arc anyway

picturing Gale doing her solo on the turntable in wait for me reprise dude just fucking shoot me. AUGGGHHH /pos

and Noeul’s a BITCHASS LIAR I WOULD LOOK BACK TOO MAKO. YOU’RE A DUMBASS BUT IT’S OKAY

i need to sleep. i might draw some costume designs for this tmrw if i think abt it but best believe i will be THINKING ABOUT THEM 

[love-advice-on-call]

long post because there has been a lot of context boiling up to this point and i want to add as many details as possible to convey the situation as accurately as possible.

we have been together for a year. he was my first boyfriend. i accidentally got pregnant about a month or two into the relationship. the test estimated that i was about 2 weeks along, and although he was hesitant, we scheduled an appointment for a medical abortion. at the appointment the gynecologist told us i was actually 9 weeks along, and that i would have to get a surgical abortion at this stage.

we listened to the heartbeat and my at-the-time boyfriend (current husband) got teary eyed. afterwards he told me that he can't force me to keep the pregnancy, however if i decide to abort he wouldn't be beside me.

at the time i interpreted that as him saying we will break up if i go through with it. i love him a lot so i decided that he is worth keeping the baby for. we got married in may and our life has been lovely. i had never been happier than this in my whole life.

i have always had a hard time opening up about my feelings. i tend to keep them in until i can't take it anymore and explode. every time when he asks me what is wrong i just can't tell him. it's like a wall i can't get past.

fast forward to now, our baby is 7 weeks old. ever since she was born i have been more miserable than ever and have considered suicide everyday. at the hospital after i gave birth the nurses had to talk me off the ledge, and the only reason i didn't jump was because I wasn't high enough to actually die from the fall (2nd floor). I didn't tell my husband any of this, I didn't want it to affect him or our relationship.

one night i snapped at him and said i shouldn't have kept the pregnancy, so in response he pushed my shoulder to roll me over on the other side so i would be facing away from him (we were laying in bed), said "fuck you" and went to cuddle the baby. it's very unusual for us to fight and this was one of the nastiest we have ever had (he never cursed at me before). so the next day i apologised, admitted what i said was horrible, explained myself, and swore i will be more open with him and stop holding my emotions in anymore.

a few days later he noticed the cuts on my arms. he told me to never do it again and to just tell him what's wrong when i don't feel ok.

the next day we were having a conversation after he came back from work, an i asked him since when he had wanted to have children. he said that he didn't want children until he heard the heartbeat at the gynecologist's office, and he got emotional and became in love with the idea of being a dad. then he bounced the question back to me and asked what i felt when i heard the heartbeat. i said i didn't feel anything. then he asked me what made me want to keep the baby. i told him because i didn't want him to break up with me. he said he wasn't going to break up with me if i had the abortion. that response left me puzzled so i told him about the "I won't be beside you" comment he made that time. he said that he meant that he won't physically be with me at the appointment, not that he would've broken up with me. that comment devastated me. i started crying. he hugged me and and asked what's wrong. i told him that I can't believe my inability to interpret one sentence correctly changed the entire course of my life and and crushed my chances at happiness. he asked me if i can hang on 3 more weeks until he goes on paternity leave so he can take over baby duty. i said "of course, i've had worse days than this". he asked me to elaborate so i told him about the incident at the hospital with the nurses. he asked if i have felt suicidal after that incident too. and i said i do everyday. he asked if that's why i cut myself. and i said yes. he froze for a bit and began to sob and hug our baby. i hugged him and asked him what's wrong (this is the first time i have seen him cry). and he said he just realised he ruined my life. he did not ruin my life. i chose to keep the baby on my own accord. my husband is literally the best thing in my life and my main source of joy ever since i have met him. he supports me in everything. when i am beside him i feel calm and happy. he is the reason i was able to get through this hard period. i explained that this is all temporary, that i have faint traces of love for our baby that i believe will grow into real love over time as baby grows up to be more independent, and that evenrually i will be happy again. i explained all of that to him, but it didnt make him feel better. he said he was going to quit his job tomorrow. i told him that's unwise as we don't have any other source of income. then he asked how is he supposed to go to work knowing his wife wants to off herself while living on the 8th floor.

he came to his senses and didn't quit his job, but he's not doing well at all. he looks like a deflated balloon. he looks like a shell no soul behind his eyes. he has continued life as usual but it looks like he's on autopilot. i made a point to emphasise that i love him and that he is the best thing that has ever heppened to me (and that's not just bullshit to make him feel better. i actually feel and believe that) but he doesn't believe me and still thinks he ruined my life.

I don't know how to get through to him that he is not at fault. he didn't ruin my life. he doesn't have to feel guilty for something he didn't do. help me navigate this. I don't think my english is bad, but in any case if something is unclear please ask and i will clarify

First want to say wow, both a very sad but interesting story and I appreciate the details.

I think one of the things that stood out to me is that regardless of everything that has happened and everything currently going on, based on what you said, it sounds like you and your husband really love/care-about each other. As mundane as that sounds, I think it’s important to keep note of during times like this when both of you are feeling so bad about the situation you are in. Yeah all this wild stuff happened, you have a baby now, but you are still just giving the ‘He’s really great’ vibe.

I do get being there with considering suicide everyday. Things can be really tough, but you have the baby now and you’re married. People rely on you, but not only that, you owe it to yourself to be living your life and living out what you did this for and what happiness it can bring you. I know it isn’t the topic of your ask, but just thought I’d put it out there.

In regards to your ask about how to get through to him: I mean you really need to talk to this guy. Based on your ask, it sounds like you two would really benefit from some more clarity on the conversation you two had. My thought is that maybe he is feeling so crushed because he thinks something different from what you two talked about. In the case of your husband, I don’t think telling him that you love him and that he has improved your life is what he is necessarily looking for because of what has already happened and what he believes he has done to the both of you (plus your baby). You need to tell him that he didn’t ruin your life and you need to explain to him why that is. I’m not saying you shift blame to yourself as a solution. I’m saying that you too need to believe that your life is not ruined and explain why that is. It is a multi-part solution and someone as crushed as your husband likely will not believe he is not the cause of a problem, if you yourself believe that problem exists in the first place. Otherwise, your husband might feel a little better, but he will still be sad knowing that you are sad. If you can't believe that your life is not ruined right now, then at minimum maybe you can believe that things will be different in the future and that the way you feel right now is not set in stone.

I think it would be good if the both of you re-frame your parenthood as well. I can understand feeling like having a child is the end of your life, but it is really more of the end of an era for you and your husband. Just because people have a baby, it does not mean their life is now terrible and they can never pursue or accomplish anything outside of their children. It also does not mean that they are miserable because their children exists. Your baby will pick up on that and kids are very sensitive to realizing that sort of thing and they will start blaming themselves for their parent’s feelings and that is not a situation you want to put them in. I think Rico Nasty is probably one of the best examples of being a successful early mom since she is a single mom who had a baby in high school. While mothering this child for the past 9 years, she’s managed to become a successful rapper and has songs with Kali Uchis, Doja Cat, and Megan thee Stallion (just to name a few artists). Her instagram is pretty much her just buying gifts for her son. All that being said, it’s possible to pursue your dreams while having a child. It’s just up to you and your husband to work towards achieving them.

Besides your question, I think it would be good to see if you have postpartum depression just as a place of interest as it could be causing how you feel now. I’m sure you’re already doing a lot to make sure you learn more about your suicidal thoughts and feelings, but just putting it out there so maybe you are aware of areas to explore. Additionally, if you aren’t already, I think therapy for you would really help. Dealing with the amount of stress you’re under can be really tough and having someone in your corner helps a lot. Plus it can help relieve some stress on your husband so he doesn’t feel like the only support. You might also find it easier to confide in a therapist as most people do.

Posted December 6, 2024

[ambiguous321]

AITA

Am I (27f) the asshole for taking everything from the apartment I shared with my ex (28m) for 2 years. For context, my ex and I were together for almost 3 years. We had a good relationship but the past 6 months he was pulling away. We went on a trip to see my family at Thanksgiving and got into an argument about possibly moving out of state. When we got home, we had a conversation about our differing views, me wanting to move and him wanting to either stay or only move closer to his family. We settled our differences and applied to a house out of state. We had the green light to get through all the paperwork and right before closing the lender came back and said due to changes in my credit we would either have to put a larger down-payment or they couldn't approve us. We backed out because we couldn't afford to put a larger down-payment at the time. We continued living where we were at and I worked 3 jobs to pay down credit cards and my car loan. He got a second job for a couple months to afford getting a PS5. I was able to pay off my car loan and got my credit cards paid down significantly but we had booked a vacation out of state and because I had put every cent I earned to bills and paying off my car loan and credit cards I hadn't been able to save for the vacation. So I had to use my credit cards I just paid down to cover it. The plan was after we got back from vacation, I would move in with a friend in the state we tried to buy the house in to get an established job there as my job wouldn't transfer and his would. The entire vacation he hid in the bedroom, or played on his laptop. He barely spoke with me and only came out of the room for food and prearranged outings. When we got home, I hurried and grabbed a some things that were not already packed for my move to my friends house. I was upset with how he acted on vacation so before I left, I only gave him a kiss on the cheek and not one on the lips. The whole next month he gave me the silent treatment. I drove to see him twice and he would barely speak to me. Finally after visiting again and seeing family, he finally texted me that he wanted to break up. I didn't feel like fighting and arguing after almost 2 months of silent treatment so I just agreed and said I'd get a storage unit and get my stuff from the apartment. Now for the part that I may be an asshole for... all the furniture in that apartment is either mine or given to me from friends. And the gaming PC he has I purchased for him for our last anniversary, and all the tvs and both A/Cs are mine. Basically when I go to get my stuff, if I took everything that was mine or given to me he would be left with very little except his own clothes, a PS5, a 32 inch TV, and some dishes. The beds are mine and my friend's, the couch is my friend's, the chairs and dressers were given to me by my parents. So would I be the asshole for taking basically everything from the apartment?

[solarpunkpresentspodcast]

Solarpunks and companion animals

Or, learning to become their kahu.

There are two cats that live with me. I brought Louie home in 2019, and Nutmeg recently joined us in mid-November of this year. But I’ve wrestled, for the past few years and even before the arrival of Louie, with the concept of pet ownership, especially in the context of solarpunk values.

Cats can provide companionship, mental health benefits, entertainment, act to defend their humans, act as emotional support animals, and more. (I’m not saying all cats are like this: that would be like saying all humans are good at math as like, a base fact about our species. Untrue.) However, caring for a cat means that you could very well be subsidizing strip-mining, supporting industrial agriculture, buying tons of non-recyclable plastic in the form of toys, polyester beds, and litter boxes, the decimation of wildlife in your local ecosystem, not to mention all the carbon spewed into the atmosphere by shipping litter, toys, food, and other paraphernalia across the world to your doorstep. That’s difficult to reconcile. A lot of other people have written articles wrestling with this and I don’t really want to do an entire lit review, so just take my word on this. It’s hard.

What I want to talk about in this article though might be the toughest issue of all to tackle when it comes to pet ownership, though.

And that’s pet ownership.

Say you’re a solarpunk, or you think of yourself as acting pretty decent on the whole. You’re kind to the people around you, you’re caring to the animals in your life, you have concern for the environment and you paying loving attention to your ecosystem. You either don’t eat meat/animal byproducts or you wrestle/d a lot with how you were raised to consume other living beings, beings who demand our respect and valuation despite (or perhaps because of) not being human.

But you also are the owner of that other living being. Perhaps several. You violate their bodily autonomy on a regular basis. You decide when and what they get to eat, where they eliminate and the quality of their toilet, when and how you pay attention to them, or leave them alone, whether they get to access the outdoors or encounter other non-human animals, and more.

Maybe this doesn’t bother you at all! Maybe you’ve thought about it, but it’s really not the biggest issue in your life right now, so it’s easily dismissed. Or maybe you’re like me and constantly overthink every aspect of your own life, so you have been avoiding this truth by using phrases like “companion animal” or “cat parent” but not changing your behaviour in any fundamental way. Maybe you’ve thought about it and shrugged because hey, this is just the way things are, and at least Mr Kitty isn’t out on the street / in the pound / in a hoarding situation or slated to be euthanized.

It might be the way things are here. But not everywhere.

I want to propose a re-framing of western humans’ relationship to their pets. The ethical dilemma of pet ownership is one peculiar to a philosophical mindset that sees animals as less than humans, an unequal binary embedded into western (and many other) cultures for thousands of years,* in a very different light. To refute a binary, or work against it, is to re-invoke it, even if it is now on the other end of the moral horizon: instead of a neutral or good axiom, the animals=less-than mindset is now considered by most in our society to be an evil. But it still is. And so my thinking (and, I’d warrant, that of most readers of this article) operates within that mindset, carrying that framework of inequality forward. Using the language of “ownership” to describe humans’ relationship to their companion animal(s) assumes a subject-object relationship, or a hierarchical binary that positions all human animals as superior to non-human animals.

Instead of the baggage-laden term of “owner,” then, I propose we start to use “kahu” instead.

According to Wehewehe Wikiwiki, kahu is defined as: “n., Honored attendant, guardian, nurse, keeper of ʻunihipili bones, regent, keeper, administrator, warden, caretaker, master, mistress; pastor, minister, reverend, or preacher of a church; one who has a dog, cat, pig, or other pet. According to J. S. Emerson; 92:2, kahu ‘implies the most intimate and confidential relations between the god and its guardian or keeper, while the word kahuna suggests more of the professional relation of the priest to the community.’”

This fundamentally reorients the relationship into something that, while still describing a slightly hierarchical relationship, nonetheless acknowledges the equal footing on which human and non-humans stand and share. Importantly, kahu is a word describing someone who has humbled themselves to serve an other, one who may depend on this potentially symbiotic relationship. The Benjamin Project https://www.thebenjaminproject.ca/blog/kahu-hawaiian-word-one-what-has-a-pet uses the language of a “mutualistic relationship with a pet.” The pet may depend on the kahu for food, water, hygiene, and comfort, but the kahu may rely on the pet to provide mental wellbeing, amusement, and companionship: these are intangibles that are difficult to quantify, but exist and should be honoured nonetheless as factors that make for a fuller life experience.

I’m not saying this is the antidote to all the squishy feelings and ethical dilemmas spawned by living with a companion animal. As I pointed out above, it’s pretty easy to just use synonym words without internalizing the actual different meanings (subtle as they may be) so that they affect your behaviour going forward. You can use the language of kahu and not take on its posture. You can also just not care about this issue at all and go on living your life the way you were, I guess.

Yet I think using kahu can be a tool for many who struggle with their relationship to their companion animals. The fact is, they aren’t human and thus we cannot have a human-to-human relationship with them: they have different desires and needs, and for us to truly respect and value them for who they are, we need to acknowledge that reality. But neither are they things that we own. It was during the Enlightenment that the idea of the animal as mere machine came about (thanks, Réné Descartes), stripped of any mystery and classed as biologically inferior and thus it was no great evil to perpetrate against them. We are still using the philosophical framework developed in 17th-century France: that was over 400 years ago.

Maybe we should update things a little. As Christina and I discuss, cultural change isn’t some sort of sweeping revolution (most of the time); it consists in the roots of the grass, a swell of the ground, the small actions of individuals coming together to form a greater whole. Will changing our language change our relationships to reflect solarpunk values? I’d argue yes, but only if we want it to.

*For a more articulate elaboration of this, check out episode 3.2, “Thinking About How We Think About Animals, with Dr Chloe Taylor”.

[thecoddaughter]

GUTS as QSMP

Hey, yall! Quinny back with yet another album breakdown. This time: Olivia Rodrigo's 'guts'

(read below the line <3)

song: all-american bitch

characters/context: jaiden and baghera, general characterization

key lyrics:

“I pay attention to things that most people ignore” “And I am built like a mother and a total machine. I feel for your every little issue, I know just what you mean” “I forgive and I forget” (hahaha yeah they forget a few things… like their whole lives!) “I don't get angry when I'm pissed, I'm the eternal optimist I scream inside to deal with it, like, "Ah"”

song: bad idea right?

characters/context: foolish about mariana (only in the meme sense, i swear…)

key lyrics: 

“Yes, I know that he's my ex but can't two people reconnect? I only see him as a friend. The biggest lie I ever said!” “And I told my friends I was asleep but I never said where or in whose sheets”

song: vampire

characters/context: baghera about the federation 

key lyrics:

“I used to think I was smart but you made me look so naïve. The way you sold me for parts as you sunk your teeth into me!” “You're so convincing… How do you lie without flinching?”

song: lacy

characters/context: foolish about jaiden and cellbit being the federation’s favorites

key lyrics:

“Aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of Hell?” “Like perfume that you wear, I linger all the time, watching, hidden in plain sight.” “The sweetest torture one could bear” “Like ribbons in your hair, my stomach's all in knots. You got the one thing that I want.” “You poison every little thing that I do”

song: ballad of a homeschooled girl

characters/context: jaiden, general characterization (i kinda wanted to put juana but this is more funny)

key lyrics:

“Cat got my tongue and I don't think I get along with anyone” “I broke a glass, I tripped and fell. I told secrets I shouldn't tell. I stumbled over all my words.” “I laughed at the wrong time, sat with the wrong guy. Searchin' "how to start a conversation?" on a website. I talked to this hot guy, swore I was his type, guess that he was makin' out with boys, like the whole night. Everythin' I do is tragic. Every guy I like is gay.” (she’s literally in a qpr with a gay couple but still funny to me) “Don't let me out at night! I'm shocked I'm still alive!”

song: making the bed

characters/context: dapper, general characterization

key lyrics:

“Want it, so I got it, did it, so it's done. Another thing I ruined, I used to do for fun.” “I thought it, so I said it, took it 'cause I can. Another day pretendin' I'm older than I am.” “Push away all the people who know me the best but it's me who's been makin' the bed.” “And every night, I wake up from this one recurrin' dream where I'm drivin' through the city, and the brakes go out on me. I can't stop at the red light, can't swerve off the road. I read somewhere it's 'cause my life feels so out of control.” “They're changin' my machinery, and I just let it happen.”

song: logical

characters/context: idk????? Part of me wanted to but fit and spreen but I know nothing about their relationship.

key lyrics:

song: get him back!

characters/context: (i want put 4halo again but i shouldn’t so you are getting nothing. Listen to the song still its a banger)

key lyrics:

song: love is embarrassing

characters/context: badboyhalo and forever

key lyrics:

“And now it don't mean a thing! God, love's f-----g embarrassing” “And I consoled you while you cried over your ex-girlfriend's new guy. My God, how could I be so stupid?” “I placed my bets and it's not worth anything. I give up, give up but I keep comin' back for more!”

song: the grudge

characters/context: slime to mariana (i’m mean, sorry! this is in the context of juana)

key lyrics:

“I have nightmares each week about that Friday in May. One phone call from you and my entire world was changed.” “You took everything I loved and crushed it in between your fingers and I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did but I hold on to every detail like my life depends on it.” “And I know in my heart hurt people hurt people and we both drew blood, but, man, those cuts were never equal.” “But even after all this, you're still everything to me and I know you don't care, I guess that that's fine.”

song: pretty isn’t pretty

characters/context: leonardo, especially the day before being taken

key lyrics:

“Bought a bunch of makeup tryna' cover up my face” “'Cause there's always something missin'. There's always something in the mirror that I think looks wrong “You can win the battle but you'll never win the war. Fix the things you hated and you'd still feel so insecure.”

song: teenage dream

characters/context: eggs, general characterization

key lyrics:

Pomme - “When am I gonna stop being wise beyond my years and just start being wise?” Leo - “When am I gonna stop being a pretty young thing to guys?” Dapper - “When am I gonna stop being great for my age and just start being good?” Richas - “When will it stop being cool to be quietly misunderstood?” Tallulah - “And when does wide-eyed affection and all good intentions start to not be enough?” Dapper - “When will everyone have every reason to call all my bluffs?” Ramon - “And when are all my excuses of learning my lessons gonna start to feel sad?” Chayanne - “Will I spend all the rest of my years wishing I could go back?” JUST IMAGINE THEM SCREAMING THIS LINE: “​​Oh, they all say that it gets better. It gets better the more you grow. Yeah, they all say that it gets better. It gets better, but what if I don't?”

[squealing-for-harusono-sensei]

Hirano to Kagiura Ch.11 Analysis: Then vs now

The fan translation of the ch.11 title is "For a long time now." I disagree with that translation. (Note that my Japanese is very limited and this stems from google and dictionaries.) The Japanese title is "前よりずっと." If one googles the entire phrase, the translation "Far more than before" shows up, which I think fit the chapter much better.

(It's understandable why they would translate it like that, though, even if it's entirely different meanings. 前 (read as 'zen' or 'mae') means (among other things) "before." より ('yori') in this context likely means something like "since." ずっと ('zutto') is likely where the disagreement stems from, as it can both mean "continuously" or "much more," among other things. Broken down, every single word in this title have several meanings. I'm trusting the "Far more than before" translation as 1) the fact that an online dictionary even has it as a phrase indicates that it's a relatively common phrase with a specific meaning, 2) it fits the chapter really well.)

What this chapter shows us is how much Hirano has changed since the beginning of the school year, even though he hasn't changed much on the surface. Or rather, how much the reason behind his actions towards Kagiura has changed. As much as I love the entire flashback about Hirano asking Hanzawa for help, I think there is one panel in particular that justifies the entire flashback's place in the chapter.

This is why Hirano did so much for Kagiura in the beginning. Hirano doesn't want problems, so he's avoiding conflict by making things easier for Kagiura. The descriptor Hirano uses in the original Japanese is 楽 ('raku'), the meaning in this context most likely being easy/without trouble. And the scenes both before and after the flashback shows different ways that this very much isn't the case anymore.

Before the flashback, there's a scene where Hirano thinks about how staying in the same room is easier for him because it would be harder to fix any problems between them if Kagiura had another room he could run away to. But there wouldn't be any trouble if Hirano didn't pursue a continued relationship with Kagiura. Staying with him IS the troublesome path, even if Hirano doesn't think about it in that way.

After the flashback is the scene where Hirano thinks about why he does so much for Kagiura and concludes that it isn't weird at all. Which is of course frustrating as he's clearly doing way more than one would normally do for one's roommate, but I do think that he has a point in so far as it's a natural progression for Hirano specifically. Because Hirano, despite his scary looks, is naturally a caretaker (most clearly shown in the vol.2 extra 15.5 "A story about a busy-body"). He's caring and when placed in a situation where he's supposed to take care of someone and that someone very clearly appreciates it a lot, of course it would end up like this, with him doing way more than necessary. It's not to make their time as roommates go smoother, it's because Hirano genuinely likes it.

But I think the last scene of the chapter shows just how much kagihira's current relationship doesn't fit Hirano's original goal of making things as easy as possible for both of them.

At the end of the chapter, Kagiura is studying in bed even though Hirano had turned off the light for them to go to sleep. The time is 10:15 PM. Kagiura says it's only to the end of the page.

Next page showed a clock showing that it's 5 minutes past midnight. Kagiura is still studying and Hirano is still awake worrying about Kagiura.

The first time I read the chapter, I had realized that Kagiura wasn't stopping at one page, but since I hadn't noticed the time on the first clock, I hadn't noticed that it had been almost 2 hours. Which also means that that's how long Hirano had been worrying about Kagiura instead of sleeping. So the whole situation is now causing both of them to lose sleep. That's pretty far from getting through it without trouble.

[wndaswife]

in secret and thérèse raquin spoilers under the cut (ik a lot of you are planning on reading it and haven’t yet!! i’ll talk ab the book and the movie here,, and im really really rambling here like a huge huge nerd u can VERY much completely ignore this if u want)

jeeeeesusss fucking christ that movie was so much more than i remember fuck.. that fucking part with thérèse coming and just babbling out “thank you thank you thank you” LIKE SHIT… FUCK

camille is a very unfortunate man but.. and u can stone me for this i would forgive u but he is actually very easy to sympathize with??? like he’s so juvenile and so naive, very unfortunate person like that haircut is just tragic and it’s so icky he’s always sick but im sorry he’s a poor kid, that nativity and constant hopefulness is just… idk

im sorry even as im typing this it sounds so stupid, but in the book he really is just naive, and i find he’s exactly like that in the movie too i feel bad for him

EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE PART IN BED WITH THÉRÈSE that was really shitty but idk was wrong with the ppl putting this movie together because bitch no one was ever supposed to love thérèse or laurent.. i mean u totally can but it wasn’t supposed to be written as them being tragic lovers who just wanna be together n you feel super sorry for them. and i feel like they wrote that in for that exact reason.. doesn’t make it any less stupid and shitty tho. zola probably would’ve rly disliked the way this story was carried out in this movie

and fuck laurent seriously that mf wants to be so profound and mysterious so fucking bad yet he paints most times because he gets a hard on watching naked women like goodbye and im never going to forget the part in the book where he ogled a dead girl in the morgue who literally sewerslided

i really hate that man

gluttonous incapable coward god he’s terrible

i mean,, okay honestly if u never read the book or if you do read it and don’t care about its portrayal it’s not even a terrible movie, it’s not bad at all besides the typical morally questionable acts

the architecture and costumes and lightings and colours were all so beautiful the entire movie, i love watching it and taking everything in i mean it’s rly gorgeous, and ofc so is lizzie so i mean my eyes r rly never off the screen

so that was a huge thumbs up for me , the whole thing is really really pretty

i mean there r obvious things wrong ab the movie, it was written like thérèse is horribly mistreated and did what she did because of the emotional distress she was under, which okay like i said if u didn’t read the book totally totally fine makes sense like okay then she’s a relatively likable character and in that case this story is ab her reactions to her circumstances, a story like that is fine, so don’t get me wrong and think im saying it’s not

but the book and what happened in it from a naturalist perspective meaning that circumstance has little to no effect on someone’s natural way of behaving and reacting- put thérèse in any other environment she would still be the kind of demure person easily set aflame by small passionate sparks, she goes all-in bets everything and cares little about what happens if and when she burns out. that’s why she started the relationship, not solely bc she was neglected or distressed, tho im sure it also had a minor hand in it

in the book it said she was patient and able to stay relaxed n lithe like a cat because of how she had to help her aunt around n camille, and how quiet and in the background she had to be, but that did nothing on her temperament and natural way of being

even if her being quiet and patience changed, say she grew up in a different environment, she would still be one to start a relationship with laurent the same way she did canonically

i do not like how this was changed because it’s taking the whole thing out of context, rly changing all the bases of the characters and the book, and most importantly.. in the movie ur supposed to LIKE them together and see their relationship as romantic

not gonna lie there are only four solid pages in which i liked them together and u BET i came with receipts- page 38-42 (oxford university press edition translated by rothwell bc ik page formatting can differ based on book versions)

to some extent OFC i did feel bad for them in the book like the stuff they went through including thérèse being domestically abused and dozens of other things they went through is not something i’d ever feel apathy towards, but rly not once after finishing the book did i think aw man that end shouldn’t have happened and they were such a good couple

tho that is the response the movie seems to have been looking for

i think what happened at the end of the book was always always always going to happen, just like how laurent and thérèse ending up being super annoyed by each other would have always happened. once they started arguing with each other it was never going to stop and they simultaneously would never be able to live without it. that’s kind of the interesting and maybe to some ppl problematic part of naturalist literature

it’s totally FINE and really like it doesn’t matter that much if u read the book or not, you can enjoy consuming only one, or consuming both and liking only one of them! and you don’t have to care at all that it’s different from the book, the movie is pretty great on its own if you’re not comparing them

but my personal opinion comparing them… not the greatest portrayal of the book (massive things were changed!!!!). the book was rly good but the movie also has its perks too

lizzie is so incredible in this movie, not a single movie of hers that i’ve seen is disappointing, i love seeing films through her eyes and i find they’re all really centered in people and their struggles and motivations etc etc, and i rly love that

i do get pleasure out of watching in secret, it’s a very pretty movie and it’s entertaining to hate laurent and judge their relationship and lizzie is such a talented actress, i love their descent into insanity and their stupidity, it’s a movie i rly do like watching (and none of this is sarcastic i really seriously do like seeing them act like idiots at times, even in the book it was pretty entertaining)

this is a weird review i have to admit bc it seems for a majority of it that im bashing the movie,, ITS A GOOD MOVIE it’s entertaining and has a great cast and it’s pretty the soundtrack is great, so r the aesthetics it’s a great movie, it rly is

but in its portrayal to the book!!! not as good

but that doesn’t mean i don’t enjoy the movie, i do!!!

and here is one more observation i took from comparing the book and the movie: where the book did not go into detail with the sensual relationship between laurent and thérèse like the movie did tho it was still a huge part of the story, the movie also did not go into detail with the relationship that developed between them through the naturalist perspective. thus, in secret is an erotic romantic drama with not many mentions of naturalism and the book is huge on naturalism while talking no more than a collective page of their actual sexual interactions. i think MAYBE the directors n writers of the movie intended for naturalism and overt sexuality to be.. sort of synonymous? which is rly interesting i think. they both played similar roles with these characters (mostly thérèse) who store and shroud their sexualities like precious innate things as one would their natures. i thought that was kind of cool if that was the intention, and even if it wasn’t i think it was inadvertent but very clear statement either way

im not sure ab my options on that yet,, tho i kinda wanna read more about that from somewhere

i want to ask if anyone agrees with innate nature and sexuality being synonymous but idk if anyone has read this far it’s just me rambling like an idiot lmfao

ANYWAYS

i wish lizzie did more book adaptations it’s so fun to read books her movies are based on and watch her interviews and know she read the book too

it’s just so fun to analyze u know???

i need a literature pal T_T