#(in one thing so predictable that I discarded it immediately and was wrong to do so)

[longsightmyth]

FINALLY read Legendborn and it was excellent, especially in handling Bree and her experiences

[esggs]

Obeisance to the Arrow - Noritoshi Kamo

#8 : Ice-Cream Date 

[why should you trust Noritoshi Kamo? Why should he trust you?]

[tw: noritoshi kamo x reader, arranged marriage, Danny DeVito, forced marriage, child marriage, small filler chapter a bit to round out the plot, omg they’re getting along, house captivity, fluff]

#7 - Jealousy, Jealousy

“This is not fun at all.” You huff at Noritoshi Kamo. “I want to throw flying kicks.”

Your husband has got you doing warm-up shit for the past half an hour: running, touching toes, stretching. For someone who spitefully promised to replace Kanato, his half-brother, as your martial arts tutor, he’s not letting you do much of martial arts. Only the promise of letting you shoot arrows from his bow is making you not immediately leave the training room.

“You’ll injure yourself if you do all that without any prior training. We’ll go step-by-step. Now–” Kamo leans over you from behind, lightly pulling your waist to correct your downward dog form (you reckon your blush can be put down to exercise; you’re just 14 after all). “– Distil me, and predict my next movements. That’s useful in combat.” 

Is this a test? Noritoshi knows that you’re strictly forbidden from using your cursed technique, under the threat of heavy punishment. Maybe he’s trying to get me into trouble so I can’t go to Jujutsu High. But… didn’t he sign my school admission papers himself? Did he change his mind?

“I never use Distillation, not since I came here.” You’re not taking any chances. Going to Jujutsu High is literally the only way you can be independent. Or else you live the rest of your life like Miyumi Kamo does: disrespected and discarded once her use was over. So you lie through your teeth: “I don’t even remember how to use it.”

“It’s impossible to forget your cursed technique. It’s engraved onto your brain, body and soul. So go ahead, Distil me.”

What game are you playing, Kamo?

“I can’t.”

“You already did, didn’t you?” Your heart skips a beat. Fuck. “Every night when you think I’m asleep. So go ahead now,” Kamo face is straight, no taste of humour or anger in it. “Read my thoughts.”

There’s no point hiding it now. You’re struck seeing your situations so plainly: Noritoshi Kamo is the heir of the opulent and influential Kamo Clan. You are his wife and nothing more. He has the power to decide whether your cursed technique usage goes punished or praised. He has the power to ruin your life. Right when you were forming buds of friendship, you are starkly reminded of the difference between your stations.

And you can’t not be you. “I don’t take commands.” I’m fucking this up so bad. “You might be angry about the whole Kanato thing, but don’t burden me with your issues. I don’t take commands.” Shit. I’m done for. I’m not going to Jujutsu High, am I?

You don't understand Kamo, not even after all the times you've read his mind through and through, because he simply nods. Nothing more. “A request then?” He makes an effort, you can tell, to soften his voice.

You stand still like a statue. All he was trying was to give some space to practise your cursed technique; he just ended up pushing you back into your shell. Or rather a fortress, where you, a scared little child, hoard other people’s secrets, to be used against them when the time comes... the only defence you have. And to think that he was actually doing so well trying to get you to come out of there. How do I fix this?

“Do you want to go out for ice-cream?” 

Your eyes open wide in shock. You’re usually not allowed to leave the Kamo estate; the last time you did was maybe 2 years ago? You don’t even remember. 

“Out?”

“It’ll be my treat, don’t worry. No one will say anything.”

Can he actually do that? Can he convince the elders? You’re a threat to society, you’ve internalised that by this point. Isn’t it wrong for you to go out?

—---

“I love going out! This is AMAZING!” You can’t stop taking pictures of everything- everyone! So many people! So many things to see! The smell of roasting dalgona, the lanterns hanging from cables overhead, the latest streetwear-clad bikers smoking, the businessman walking briskly, the mother scolding her children! Aeon Mall, Porta, Kyoto Station Building– you’re going through all of them, making the most out of your day out!

“You’ll be able to go out whenever you want when you’re in Jujutsu High.” Kamo, carrying your many shopping bags, reminds you calmly. You seem to have gotten over prior spat. 

“Take a picture of me here!” “I want to try double-decker donuts!” “Let’s get these Prada shawls, please, Noritoshi-san!” 

She’s so lucky she was born into money. Noritoshi enjoys seeing you this ecstatically happy. It’s just the two of you, Kamo doesn’t need any bodyguards or handlers. As you sit for an Italian dinner, he decides that it’s okay to breach your previous topic.

“yn, I’m very curious–”

“Do you think those shoes that guy’s wearing are ugly? 'Cuz I think they’re Danny DeVito level ugly.”

“– Gossiping isn’t good. As I was saying, I really want to know how your powers work, yn. Would you be okay telling me?”

You laugh at him, cheeks full of penne alfredo. “I don’t know much either, frankly. I wasn’t allowed to look into it, you know. Besides, if you’re looking for a method to block it, give up. Not even Gojo Satoru could do that.”

Kamo’s eyes are keen. “Why not?”

“Because it works on photons of light. Gojo’s Infinity works on matter, not light, because otherwise he’d be invisible. Distillation can speed up light in a very specific way so that I can 'see' glimpses of the past... understand the story, in a way. Anything I perceive with my eyes, I can Distil. Everything I can see, I know.” You say. "I kept getting headaches because it was just too much information at once, so I made a Binding Vow. I have to ask a very specific question so that I get a very specific answer, but in exchange I get to know answers for at least 50 years back in the past."

To think this talent was to be wasted. “You’re incredible.” I’ll protect her. I’ll have to. 

That also reminds him. “So all those times you Distilled me at night, you didn't ask if was sleeping?"

You smile sheepishly, "I was sure that you were."

He returns your smile. A rare moment. "So you know me, then?”

“Thoroughly.”

“Then you know that I am not your enemy.”

“I reckon.”

“And that I am trustworthy.”

You laugh. He might be as trustworthy as the sun, but you don’t know how to trust others. Still- "I'm sorry for Distilling you when you were asleep."

"I'd rather you ask me before you do that the next time. It's more polite." He uses the toasted bread to scoop up some pasta sauce. You copy him. "I see that there's no point keeping secrets from you?"

"Absolutely none."

"Then it's my right that you keep none from me, either."

Eh? He's not wrong but... He's asking you to trust him. Like friends do. Like married couples do. For all that he is, Noritoshi Kamo has no leverage in front of his wife: you alone decide how much you want to reveal to him.

"Alright, then. Whatever you ask me, I'll answer you honestly, as long as it is okay to do so." You promise. Kamo wipes a smidge of sauce from your cheek with a tissue. His way of saying, "Thank you."

“Noritoshi-san, teach me to spar properly. I don’t want to appear so weak among my classmates.”

“Is that a command?” You’re about to excuse yourself when you notice that he’s smiling. Holy fuck, he’s making a joke??

“Yes, Lord Kamo.” You play along.

“As you wish, Lady Kamo.”

[snarkythewoecrow]

snippet of my untitled wip for a fandom i had no plans to write for, which is The Sandman, and it's a dreamling fic

seems i'm back on my predictable bullshit in life and writing things i had not planned when i have a backlog of other shit that needs doing

well, at least i'm predictable

so, not sure when it'll be done, not really sure about how the readers and fandom are over in these parts, but eh, rolling with it

i haven't read the comics, only seen the show, and this is me finally giving into the little gremlin in my brain and writing this shit so it'll shut up

this story will be heavy, angsty, and please see the bold warning below:

This fic (and snippet) contain implied rape/non-con

okay, so a little snippet is after the cut, i'll be working on this over the next week, creative energies are slowly returning, enjoy!

(oh and it's a/b/o too, in case that's not your thing)

"Please, Dream, it's not—I didn't—" Hob tried, the world a blur as his only anchor cutting the chain between them.

The stumbled, hurried steps he took in chase never had a chance of reaching him in time—Dream didn't allow himself to be halted unless he chose—Hob knew but still tried.

Further pleas remained lodged in his throat, though, as his gaze briefly caught a glimpse of the discarded flowers which now lay like corpses on the table.

His fingertips brushed Dream’s arm, but before they could make purchase, a gust of sand swept him away.

A hundred thoughts, all dripping with an oily coating of shame, overcame him.

His hand came to claw at his chest as realization of what Dream must have assumed, seeing him in that state, sank into his bones.

Shame and regret pried its fingers between his ribs and yanked, making plenty of room for anger and hurt to make a home.

Oh god, he’d thought… Dream had seen the teeth marks set into the flesh of his neck and not even hesitated to make a judgment…

And that fact, that he hadn’t paused, that he’d just seen the marks left on him by that—by that fucking alpha the night before—the one that had taken what he’d had no right to have….

It seemed impossible that the pain of what he’d been through could have been made worse, but this? The way Dream’s expression had hardened, closing off, the way he’d taken a step back then another, lifting his chin before discarding the flowers on the table, saying all too crisply, “I apologize for disturbing your privacy so unexpectedly—I’ll take my leave.”

Dream had not waited for an explanation—and as insane as it was, the hurt of his dismissal didn’t immediately bring Hob to tears. Instead, it lured something a bit more frightening from the depths,  dragged from the mangled mess of his heart.

Something that sounded wrong to his own ears—a giggle, small, then growing until it twisted and became just shy of deranged.

His shoulders shook as laughter overtook him, louder and more bitter to the point of hysterical as it cut his throat like shards of glass until he was choking on it, until he submitted to the hurt and folded to the floor, right there on his knees in the lingering sand on the floorboards.

[parcequecestnotreprojeeeet]

Hello! It's Winter. This story was inspired by a conversation I had with a close friend ... Curious if B&E ever had a fight like this:

Mothering

Upon entering the bathroom, Brigitte was immediately outraged at the mess in front of her. Her husband of 1 week had thrown his wet towel on the floor, his dirty boxers casually tossed next to it. 

She let out a loud sigh as she picked up the discarded linen off the white-tiled floor. It brought back deja vu of cleaning her son’s messy bedroom when he was a teenager. Brigitte assumed she was done "mothering" once her children moved out. She never predicted she’d be picking up after her 30-year-old husband. 

“Aw! Good morning, Cherie!” Emmanuel greeted his wife cheerfully with a kiss. “You look beautiful this morning. Is that a new skirt you're wearing?” 

Instantly, he knew something was wrong by her frigid reaction. She was never one to shy away from a kiss - especially from him. “Brigitte, why didn’t you kiss me back?” 

Tossing the wet towel in his face, she snapped. “You know why! I’m not your mother!” 

Shocked by her outburst, he stood dumbfounded as she rushed past him.

He grabbed her arm and spun her around, “I was going to come back and pick it up. You don’t need to yell at me.” 

She sighed, angrily twirling her wedding ring around her finger. “You could have picked it up right away. I’m not your maid, I’m not your mother. I’m your wife, Emmanuel! I refuse to pick up after you.” 

In an attempt to calm her down, he went in for another kiss but she backed away. 

“Brigitte, I know you’re not my mother. I’ve never seen you as a motherly figure -  ” 

She interrupted him before he was able to get the rest of his sentence out. “What did you just say to me?! I AM a mother ...of 3!” 

He took a deep breath. “If you had let me finish, I was about to say I’ve never seen you as a motherly figure to me! I’m sorry, I should have picked up my towel.”

“Don’t let it happen again,” she barked, annoying him even further with her demeaning tone. 

“Stop talking to me this way! I’m not one of your children!” Emmanuel had heard enough. “I’m your husband - treat me like it!” 

“Then start acting like it!” She yelled, her temper getting worse.

He grabbed her waist the moment she tried to run away again. Spinning Brigitte around, Emmanuel passionately kissed her hard on the mouth, his hand finding its way under her short skirt. Slowly, he felt her anger fade away. A few more seconds and he was positive all would be forgiven.

Breathless, she pulled back. “What was that for?” 

Emmanuel grinned, “I was showing you that I’m not one of your children.” 

She wiped her red lipstick off his lips. “Point proven.” 

“Now, do we have a few minutes before you need to leave for work?” He asked.

She glanced at her gold watch, a gift from him. “I have to teach a class in 25 minutes.” 

Emmanuel laughed as he dragged her to their unmade bed. “It won’t be the first time you’re late for class because of me. Only this time, we’re married.”

Hellooo Winter! ❤️

Oooh things got tense there for a bit... but I’m glad they managed to put the “anger” aside and actually found a better thing to do... 🤭😏 And btw, I so would not have picked up the towel and the boxers from the floor hahaha he would have to come back at do it himself, and fast 😂

Emmanuel making Brigitte being late for class tho hahaha but at least it’s for a good reason 😈

Thank you so much, Winter! ❤️❤️❤️

[nobodies-png]

How about "the thing is, suddenly when i picture my future, all i can see is you." With Sora? Or maybe Ventus? You can choose either.

Theres a shitload of Ventus requests, so i’ll go with Sora for this one ! here’s to hoping tumblr doesnt fuck up the format like it always does when i put shit under the cut

for context, reader is native to the destiny islands and a childhood friend of the destiny island trio! they receive a little letter from sora and meet up with him at the island hehehoho

Dear, Y/N …

…I know we all have gummiphones now and I could’ve given you a call or something, but a letter felt more appropiate, you know? It also would’ve been super embarrassing to say all of this in person…

You get out of the boat and onto the pier, the letter clutched tightly in your hands. It has been a long time since you came here by yourself, especially this late at night, but the waters are calm and the sky is clear - moonlight guides your steps as you discard your shoes and make your way to the beach, feeling the sand under your feet. 

The waves crash against your legs, you pause for a moment, taking it all in.

…But don’t worry! It’s nothing bad, I promise! The worlds are still safe, I’m not going anywhere and everyone is finally home, safe and sound. I’ve just been thinking. A lot. About you and me and stuff, I guess…?

In this light, or a lack thereof, you notice that the island isn’t as scary or massive as you remember it to be. The trees aren’t as tall, the waters aren’t as deep, the darkness isn’t as threatening. Travelling around the many worlds, those sparkling stars above, has certainly helped you and your friends grow, it has given you perspective. 

Still, the magic and nostalgia remain, this place holds so many cherished memories of your childhood, all the years you spent playing around with all your friends. It was a sanctuary for all the children of Destiny Islands, a paradise where nothing could ever go wrong. Home, it was home.

You wonder if that’s why Sora asked to meet you here tonight. 

Just thinking about the letter makes your face feel warm again, it’s so like Sora to pour his heart out without stopping to think about it and render you speechless with just clumsy yet heartfelt words.

…Riku and Kairi have always told me that I need to think about what I want to do, the things that make me happy - unrelated to saving the universe, Kairi insisted on that. “You can’t be a hero forever, Sora. Trying to make everyone happy isn’t stable job!”. Blah, blah, blah! Just being with them, with you, with all the people I cherish seemed more than enough for me, but…

You’re all alone for now, but you’ve seen the other boat anchored by the pier - Sora will come to you when he’s ready.

A smile crosses your face when you remember the day he broke one of Kairi’s good luck charms - the one she gave to you. It took him a day to build up the courage, but he eventually confessed and apologized through tears, showing you all of his failed attempts at fixing your poor charm. Back when you all were children and the worst thing that could ever happen was missing dessert or being scolded by your parents.

Then, once you two were older, it took Sora a couple months to realize his crush was reciprocated, along with some help and guidance from your other two best friends. And even so, it took him an extra few days to properly confess and ask you out.

But he always came through for you, didn’t he? Your reliable, impulsive and still super predictable idiot. 

The rustle of shoes dragging across sand pulls you out of your reverie and when you turn around, you immediately get lost in the depth of his eyes. Sora’s gaze when he looks at you is something you never dared to describe, fearing it’ll ruin the magic - it’s overwhelming in the most beautiful of ways.

And now, he looks at you with unwavering determination, the same expression he wore when he promised to bring everyone back home. It’s in moments like this you fully understand why he was chosen to bear the weight of the world. Only Sora could do it, carry the entire world so lovingly on his back and expect nothing in return. 

He smiles, and you swear he could outshine the fucking sun if he wanted to. Hell, Sora could ask you to follow him to the end of the world and you wouldn’t even hesitate. 

…The thing is, suddenly when I picture my future, all I can see is you…

“You made it!”  Sora shifts his weight from one foot to the other, suddenly nervous. “Guess you read my letter, huh.”

“Your handwriting is still pretty hard to decypher, so it took me awhile. Especially that bit at the end. But yeah, I miraculously made it home!” You make a show out folding said letter and putting it somewhere safe in one of your many pockets.

“Yeah, well. At least it’s a little better than Riku’s…” Sora pouts and huffs, pretending to be offended, but in the end, he’s laughing along with you.

A comfortable silence settles down, both of you content with smiling at each other like absolute fools in love. You could simply just leap at him and smother him with kisses, knowing very well that he’d catch you. But when you take a step towards him, Sora steps back, glancing back and forth between you and somewhere behind him. That’s when you realize he’s hiding something.

Of course, you step forward again, hoping to take a quick peek. And, again, Sora moves to keep you out of reach and the mysterious object out of view.There is a tense pause and then, almost in perfect synchronicity, you two make a run for it.

“Y/N, STOP. REALLY, I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE.” 

“I NEVER SAID YOU DID.”

“THEN WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE YOU’RE TRYING TO HUNT ME FOR SPORT!?”

“COME ON SORA, ALL COUPLES CHASE EACH OTHER AT THE BEACH AT SOME POINT!”

The gift - you assume that’s what it must be - is now pressed tightly against Sora’s chest, preventing you from seeing anything. But he’s so close, almost within your reach, so you do the sensible thing and tackle Sora to the ground, pinning him down. Sure, some sand might’ve gotten into your mouth during the process, but it’s a small price you were willing to pay. 

“Fineeeeeeeeee…Y/N 1, Sora 0… But just so you know, I had this very awesome and romantic speech prepared and everything!” Sora whines, not even bothering to struggle and the gift is revealed when he raises his hands, using them to cover his face.

A Paopu fruit.

…Is that weird? I keep dreaming about waking up next to you, sleeping in together, making breakfast and chores together, getting groceries, hanging out with all of our friends, never worrying about darkness this, darkness that…

It shouldn’t even surprise you in the slightest - of course Sora would do something like this in such an earnest way. Of course he would take a silly myth and turn it into a grand gesture of love. When you look down at your mess of a boyfriend, he’s turned impossibly red, peeking at you from between his fingers in silence, waiting for a reaction. So you grab the fruit and straighten up.

“It’s a Paopu fruit.” you point out very eloquently, cringing at the way your voice breaks at the last part. 

Sora has the audacity to snort and giggle at this, sitting up with you secured on his lap. You reach out and brush the sand off his hair, playfully rolling your eyes when Sora manages to sneak a kiss to your wrist, sending a pleasant shiver up your spine. His face is still red, but at least he’s not hiding anymore.

“It’s not as fancy as a ring, but… I really meant all those things I wrote. I want a future with you,” this time, Sora doesn’t shy away from your eyes. But this confidence doesn’t last long, he stammers and trips over his words immediately, “Not that I’m asking you to marry me, pfft. It’s like, waaaay too soon, right? B-but I’d love to! Marry you, that is. In the…near…future? If you… Uh, want to…Maybe? I just thought a Paopu would be nice to share, and uh yeah…! So we can be part of each other’s lives forever!”

“Is that your ‘super awesome and romantic speech’?” You joke, mostly to distract yourself from the butterflies and all sorts of fuzzy, warm feelings blooming and fluttering about, all over your body. Is he doing this on purpose? He has to be, your heart feels like it’s about to burst out of your chest.

With an exaggerated sigh, Sora slumps forward, nuzzling your neck and wrapping his arms around your waist, swaying with you from side to side. He’s warm, so very warm.

“I thought I had it…! Can I get a do-over, pretty please?”

“Nuh-uh, I like it better this way. It was good, really, stop giving me that look!”

By now, you’re immune to his puppy eyes - at least you like to think you are - so you begin to split the Paopu fruit in two, watching Sora’s eyes light up like stars, following your every move. His hand lingers on yours when he wordlessly accepts one of the halves.

There’s so much you want to say to him and, judging by Sora’s lovestruck expression, there’s so much he wants to say to you. But neither of you are in a rush, there’ll be plenty of time to talk about what the future holds.

For now, you both take a bite.

…Maybe it’s a bit selfish, or even childish. But I want that future for us andCRAP. I’MRUNNINGOUTOFSPACE.MEETMEATTHEISLAND.I’LLTELLYOUTEVERYTHINGTHERE.LOVEYOU!!!! -SORA

[boldbrash-fandertrash]

Ignore me, unless I’m right in which case I fucking called it

So I was rewatching the episode for the fourth time and one I realized that Remus is much much smarter than we give him credit for and two I can generally predict how the rest of the story is gonna go.

We’re gonna have another aside video with Patton and Janus before the big season finale, and that aside is going to be one of the most important videos to the general progression of the plot.

I’m sure you’ve noticed the pattern so far, two sides who diametrically oppose each other being forced to work together on a problem they vastly disagree about, usually turning the small issue into something much messier than it ever would be and them learning something about themselves in the process.

Each pairing exists to point out to the viewer exactly what issues exist with each side that need some form of resolving, and the big unifying theme amongst them is “you’re not listening to me”. Roman and Virgil dragging Thomas across the cafeteria in favor of or agains him talking to Nico, Logan and Remus deliberately ignoring and working to undo the others work in an attempt to break Thomas out of the depressive funk he found himself in. Nobody is working together here. The only side to even remotely cooperate with the group was Virgil body checking Thomas into Nico, and it took him and Roman bullying each other and Thomas for an entire video to even get to that point.

Watching Logan and Remus interact, one, brought me immense joy and I will be chasing that high for weeks to come, and two, after an ounce of critical thinking was frankly painful to watch. Any critiques Logan offered to Remus were immediately discarded with absurdity and any critiques Remus offered to Logan were discounted as absurd.

During the obvious scene at the end with the Eyes™️, Logan claimed he wasn’t pretending Remus didn’t exist, but honestly, he kinda was.

The Dunce Cap Scene really accentuates this point. Logan pulls a holier than thou, why won’t you learn I’m always right, bullshit passive aggressive remark, Remus does his dramatic repenting student shtick, starts singing directly into Logan’s ear, and makes a kink joke. Literally the words Remus sings are “can’t fix this guy, all by yourself”. Remus is saying this inches from Logan’s personal face and even still the logical side ignores him outright, because of all the fluff around the message. Hell, in Remus’s introduction video, Logan likens him to a screaming baby on a plane, essentially saying “well eventually he’ll stop screaming so just bear with it for a while and you’ll be fine”. He’s ignoring Remus outright due to a preconceived notion and missing out on valuable information because of it.

The dunce cap scene indirectly calls back to learning new things about ourselves, where Logan is completely unreceptive to the puppet bit because of its perceived absurdity and absolutely refuses to acknowledge any potential the medium might have for learning until he physically cannot anymore.

Remus is capable of, and does often, make valid points and offers genuine critiques of shit happening in their lives. In Forbidden Fruit, almost every single line harkens back to some idea the other sides had been trying, and failing, to communicate to Thomas. “Good and bad is all made up nonsense”, “if you shared those musings with your friends i doubt they would forgive you”, “why deny yourself knowledge, say, knowledge of yourself” “people don’t like me much, Thomas, but that only just cause I’m honest”, “these sorts of things are only thought in the mind of a man who’s soul is truly rotten.”

Despite all of this, he is ignored outright because of his medium. Just like Logan is ignored due to his monotone cadence and large volume of content, just like Roman is due to his flair for the dramatic and artistic display of ideas, just like Patton is due to his playful and childlike nature, just like Janus is due to his perceived role as the Villain, just like Virgil /was/ due to his perceived role as the villain.

They all have become accustomed to being stepped on by the other sides because of who they are and how they communicate, and have in turn learned some less than ideal methods of being heard again. Logan yells and gets passive aggressive, Remus ups the fear factor for everyone around him, Roman shuts down anyone who tries to talk through bullying and raising his voice, Patton manipulates the others into feeling guilt and covers it up with a smile, Virgil whips out the tempest tongue and incites fear in Thomas, and Janus physically silences anyone in his way.

And here’s why I say the next asides episode is going to be the most important one developmentally. Patton and Janus are going to be forced to work together. Patton, who is in the midst of an identity crisis, and willing to listen to any new ideas provided they offer a valid solution to the shit he’s found himself in, and Janus, who knows a lot more than he’s willing to let on, who concerns himself exclusively with Thomas’s self preservation, and loves to talk when given the opportunity. Janus is gonna have a thing or two to say to Patton when they’re inevitably faced with their moral dilemma, and Patton is going to be in just the right mindset that he’s willing to listen. And Janus is going to end up being right, and the small issue they’re facing will be resolved, which will therefore strengthen Patton’s trust, and his openness to changing for the better.

Patton is goofy, and childish, and kinda ditzy sometimes, and because of that we as a fandom tend to overlook any of his moments that are anything but that, but we are not giving this man enough credit. When Patton sets his heart on something, he throws his whole self into it, and is willing to stand up for his beliefs in the face of extreme opposition, and would gladly do anything in his power to defend his family. Once Patton decides that he’s willing to grow, and if he believes that this growth will help put his family back together, nothing can stop him, and that will be absolutely crucial for the growth of all the other sides around him.

Whatever him and Janus discuss during their aside will absolutely give Patton the information he needs to help stitch together the rift between everyone.

I predict the next official Sanders Sides video is going to be the longest one yet, possibly over an hour long, because there’s a LOT of work that is going to need to be done, and Everyone is going to be in it. The big issue of “you’re not listening to me” won’t be resolved, but it will be acknowledged in a serious light by everyone. We won’t be getting any appearances from the Orange Side I don’t think, that would end up just complicating matters even more when each character is already incredibly shaky in their own identity.

Something less than ideal is gonna happen between Thomas and Nico, he’s gonna summon the initial three to deal with the matter but the other lads are gonna worm their way into the discussion, everyone’s gonna start screaming at each other, and Pattons gonna do something that stuns everyone else into silence (I’m guessing he’ll start crying, considering the start of season two was all about him repressing negative emotions and what better way to show character growth than to sob openly on camera).

Once everyone just fucking stops for ten seconds that’s when the apologies start. None of the sides are ever the first to apologize, we’ve seen that time and time again. Their desire to be in the right as well as their pride will always get in the way, however if someone starts the apology train everyone will eventually follow suit. We see that in Alone On Valentines Day, My Negative Thinking, Growing Up, Accepting Anxiety, Fitting In, Moving On, actually in pretty much every video where an apology actually takes place, once one person apologizes the other will immediately follow suit.

Patton is gonna be a goddamn mess, he’s gonna apologize to everyone in the room for anything he thinks he may have done to wrong them, and that’s gonna be what gets everyone to acknowledge all the shit they’ve put each other through, and the others are going to jump between trying to console him and trying to apologize to each other. They’re going to come to the unified decision that they need to work together more on future issues, the group is all going to offer up a solution and decide together on a remedy to whatever happened together between Thomas and Nico, and that will be that. Season three will be about them finding the balance between stepping on toes and being stepped over, while also working out how the orange side fits into everything.

Thus marking the end of my rant.

I started writing this at 2 and it’s now 4. I have to be up in three hours. I have an essay due at 3pm tomorrow that I haven’t started, but instead I typed up all this bullshit. I hope any of this made any sense, and I hope this is a suitable replacement for my emotions essay that’s completely untouched because chances are this is what I’m presenting to my therapist tomorrow. Wish me luck.

[sporticus1234]

Catch Me if You Can-Laws of Attraction (Part 1)

Summary: After weeks of flirting, teasing, and close calls, Tessa is ready to take the plunge, but can Gabe overcome his own worse fears and join her?

Pairing: Gabe Ricci x Main Character (Tessa Michaels)

Link to my Master-List and Other works will be added once they have been re-edited and re-uploaded.

Perma-Tags and LOA Tags: @choices-addict @choiceskatie @lady-calypso @chemist-ana @kat-tia801 @chrissythadon @nishas-paradise  @blainehellyes @mm2305 @suitfer​ @thegreentwin @pixelnutrookie​ 

I hope you all enjoy it and see you soon for some...adventures...in part 2.

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Rather than clumsy words, it’s your action that I believe. Don’t stop. Go past the limit. Go faster. I’m going to find my heart. So catch me if you can.

-Girls Generation, Catch Me if You Can (Korean Ver.)

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The once glittering ballroom filled with stimulating conversation, flowing bubbles of champagne, and decadent hor-dourves was now deserted and quiet, signaling the end of the extravagant weekend legal conference. As the last person Tessa was speaking to excused herself for the evening, she looked around the empty space littered with discarded champagne flutes and linen napkins, her spirits deflating at the sight. The conference ended as quickly as it began, and come Monday morning, she would be back in the office, the competition still at the forefront of everyone’s minds.

It may have been a short weekend, but Tessa was grateful for the time away from the office. The past few weeks were filled with nothing else but case after case coming one after another and nonstop talk about the competition, particularly from Martin. But for a tiny period of time, all of that vanished out of sight and out of mind. She laughed and joked with her colleagues and bosses like they were all good friends. She camped and ate smores in a beautiful forest, and she finally got her first full night of sleep since she started working at McGraw Byrne. She truly felt like she had been transported to a completely different world, one she found hesitant to leave behind for an entire year.

Stifling the yawn sneaking up on her, she left the ballroom behind, her spirits still thrumming with excitement from the evening, but her body yearning for a soak in a hot bath and some sleep in the oversized hotel bed. She was halfway across the empty lobby, gilded elevator doors in sight, when her feet came to a stop outside of the hotel’s bar. She didn’t even have to look to know exactly who was sitting in that dimly lit bar. He had a larger-than-life presence, no matter what room he was in, that was like a magnet, drawing everyone’s attention, even if he was just randomly passing by on the sidewalk.

Her tiredness completely forgotten, she hovers near the entryway and discretely watches him. He’s sitting by himself at the bar, nursing what Tessa knows is a glass of scotch on the rocks along with a basket of half-eaten chips and dip, his eyes occasionally flicking up to the large screen TV showing a basketball game taking place on the other side of the country. His jacket is discarded on the back of his chair, his tie loosened slightly and the buttons of his shirt rakishly undone at the top. Despite his disheveled, executive blowing off steam look, he is still just as handsome and attractive as he was just a short time ago when he was polished and buttoned up. Maybe even more.

A small smile tugs at the corners of her lips as she watches him. Gabe was such a surprise when she first came to New York, and she never expected to become so charmed by him. The man has such a lavish and lively personality on the outside, but on the inside is a man driven to be the best and passionate about using his vast knowledge to help everyone. His heart is as big as his office, a welcoming, refreshing contrast to the selfishness Tessa sees too often in this line of work. They have only known each other for a short time, but every time he came around, he put a smile on her face and made her stomach flip-flop. She couldn’t explain why he has such a pleasant effect on her. Perhaps it’s the way that when she flirts with him, he flirts right back with the same energy she gives him, maybe even more. Maybe it’s the way the two of them click when they’re together. Or maybe it’s the way he continues to keep her on her toes and excite her yet still make her feel a sense of comfort and familiarity at the same time. Regardless of the reasons, the one thing she was certain of was that she didn’t want this fluttering feeling to stop. Ever.

“Of course, you would be alone at a bar,” Tessa teases as she steps towards him.

Gabe swivels his head around at the sound of her voice, his eyes immediately catching hers as she approaches him. His lips twist into a grin, his spirits lifting like they always do whenever she is around. “Am I really that predictable?”

Tessa shrugs. “Maybe a little. But you wouldn’t be the Gabe Ricci we all know and love if you weren’t.”

Gabe chuckles. “Most people wouldn’t agree with you on that statement.”

“I’m not most people,” she fires back with a wink.

No, you are most definitely not Gabe thought. “What exactly are you doing still wandering around?” He glances down towards his watch, mildly surprised to find it still somewhat early. “The cocktail party ended almost an hour ago. I figured you would be in bed like everyone else.”

“I planned on it, but then I saw this guy sitting all by himself in this empty hotel bar and thought he could use some company.”

Gabe’s eyes twinkle with delightful mischief as he takes another sip of his scotch. He was hoping the two of them could spend some more time together before the madness hit them Monday morning. “I think I know who you’re talking about. And I, for one, know that he would love to have some company, especially if the company happens to be you.”

Tessa gives him a shy smile as she slips into the bar stool next to him. An electrical, buzzing warmth fills up the space around them as butterflies flutter in her stomach at the near closeness to him, the scent of his cologne invading her senses and tempting her to come even closer. As she peruses the small menu, the lone bartender comes over and places a napkin down in front of her.

“Anything to eat or drink?”

“A Manhattan please.”

The bartender nods before turning to Gabe. “Another refill for you, sir?”

“Please,” Gabe replies. “And put her Manhattan on my tab as well.”

The bartender grabs Gabe’s empty glass and heads down to the other end of the bar. Once he’s fully out of hearing range, Tessa turns to face Gabe. “You didn’t have to do that,” she says. “I am more than capable of paying for my own drinks.”

“I know you could pay for it,” Gabe responds before his lips curl into his trademark sly smirk, “or you could let Sadie pay for it.”

“Wait, what?”

Gabe nods, his smirk growing bigger. “Consider it another partner-only secret. This conference is one of the few events Sadie lets us have more…leeway…with the company credit card. Any food or drinks we buy at this conference gets covered by the firm.”

“And something tells me you’re taking full advantage of that offer,” Tessa says.

Gabe gives her a wink. “What can I say? A good attorney knows a good offer when they see it.”

“In that case,” Tessa flags down the bartender again. “I’ll do an order of the spicy fried pickle chips with that Manhattan.” The bartender nods and disappears into a back room. Tessa turns her head, seeing Gabe looking at her with an amused expression on his face. “What’s that look for?”

Gabe chuckles, shaking his head. “Just wondering if I’m going to regret sharing that secret with you.”

“Don’t worry,” Tessa grins at him. “Your secret is safe with me. But if Sadie cuts us off or starts questioning anything on the credit card bills, I’m placing the full blame on you.”

The two of them continue to make small talk until the bartender comes back a few minutes later. He places their drinks and her basket of food down before excusing himself and shuffling into the back room once again. Tessa grabs her glass and holds it up in a toast, prompting Gabe to do the same.

“To drinks on someone else’s dime,” she states.

The two of them share a laugh as they clink their glasses together. Tessa takes a sip of her drink, the whiskey a sharp contrast to the bubbly champagne of the reception. The liquid pools like fire in her stomach and flows throughout her body, warming her up and loosening her muscles. “Best Manhattan I’ve ever had.”

Gabe cocks his eyebrow. “Is it really the best?”

“Oh, not by a long shot. But since I didn’t have to pay for it, I consider it the best in my book.”

“You really are a woman after my own heart,” Gabe replies. Tessa tucks her gaze away from him, feeling her face grow hot at the combination of the whiskey and his spell-binding charm. She takes another sip of her drink before sliding the basket of pickle chips towards him. He throws her an appreciative “thanks”, taking a chip and popping it into his mouth before continuing their conversation. “How did you enjoy the conference?”

“I really liked it,” Tessa answers. “I never got the chance to do things like this with my old law firm.”

“What? Have free food and drinks on someone else’s dime with a devastatingly handsome senior partner?”

Tessa shoves him with a laugh. “No, you complete smart ass. I meant going out to events and connecting with other people.” She absentmindedly picks the coating off a pickle chip, her mind reminiscing. “Don’t get me wrong. I love my hometown, but there was no excitement in my life. It was the same boring routine every single day.”

“Sounds like you and McGraw Byrne are a perfect match.”

Tessa nods. “Honestly, I really have you to thank. If you didn’t recommend hiring me to Sadie, I still would be stuck in the same boring routine. It sounds really sappy, but you really did change my life for the better…in more ways than one.”

The raw honesty in her voice tugs at his heartstrings, his lips twitching into another smile. He’s used to hearing those words come from his clients, but hearing those words come from her just felt…different, and it made him feel something he couldn’t quite place his finger on.

“You’re very welcome,” Gabe earnestly tells her. “I wouldn’t have recommended you if I didn’t think you were a stellar attorney. You deserve to be here just as much as everyone else, and I truly mean that. McGraw Byrne needed someone like you. Hell, the legal world needs more attorneys like you.”

“What? Sappy and sentimental ones?”

“No,” Gabe says, stifling his chuckle. “I meant attorneys who are passionate about their job and passionate about connecting with people. So many attorneys don’t take the time to really understand or listen to their clients. Having someone like you, someone who actually connects with clients and goes above and beyond to help them, really does make a world of difference.” Gabe takes a pickle chip and pops it into his mouth. “But I really am happy you decided to take Sadie up on her offer to join us, even if the past few days have given you plenty of good reasons to quit.”

Tessa blows out a harsh breath, knowing exactly what Gabe was referring to. “Yeah, they have been quite…challenging.”

“I meant to ask you earlier, but how’re you holding up?”

Tessa sighs, dragging her fingertip over the rim of her glass. “Honestly, I’m still pissed that Beau stole the credit from me in front of everyone, but I should’ve expected someone to pull that stunt sooner or later.” She blinks back a tear trying to escape. “It just sucks to be the one it happens to.”

“I know, and I truly am sorry Beau pulled such a dick move on you.” He sympathetically lays a gentle hand on her bare shoulder, the touch sending comfort through her veins. “If I could’ve done something to make it better, I would’ve done it in a heartbeat.”

“I know you would’ve, but I do appreciate you not saying anything to Sadie.”

He shrugs. “Wasn’t my place to tell her. Besides,” he takes his hand off her shoulder, already missing the feel of her smooth, soft skin, “the only thing it would’ve done was make you and me look bad in front of Sadie.”

“Sounds like someone has personal experience.”

Gabe runs a hand through his hair. “Happened to me once back in my early legal days, but instead of getting the credit and respect that I rightfully deserved, I got told off for being a bad ‘team player’ and trying to take someone else’s credit.”

“That’s so unfair,” she practically spits.

Gabe lets out a bitter, humorless guffaw. “Preaching to the choir on that one. You’ll find that every group will have one person who will do none of the work or the one person that will take credit for anything and everything. Fortunately for us, Beau happens to be both of those assholes wrapped up in one, so we save a lot on payroll.”

Tessa laughs weakly at his joke, the sting of Beau’s betrayal still fresh in her mind. “Thanks for trying to make me feel better. It just sucks knowing that Sadie is always going to believe that Beau solved the case.”

“If it’s any consolation, I’m still incredibly proud of you, even if Sadie never knows the truth.”

“You…are?” she asks, surprise etched on her face as she turns her body towards him.

“Absolutely,” Gabe says, no hesitation in his voice. “Without you, we possibly would’ve never solved it to begin with, nor would Lydia have thought to make Joey sign a prenup. But what really impressed me was how you were the only one to step up and take initiative when needed. Not many of the senior partners would go to such lengths for a teenager like Lydia, but you did.”

“I guess,” Tessa mutters. “I just hope it will be enough come Monday.”

“It will be,” Gabe assures her as he steals another pickle chip.

“Really? I figured Sadie would shove Beau to the top of the rankings after he basically saved the firm.”

“Everyone in that room knows who really saved the firm, and it wasn’t Beau,” Gabe points out. “Even if Sadie believes he did, she’s also smart enough to know that one win, no matter how big it is, isn’t enough to judge how good an attorney is or will become. Beau may have stolen one win, but you’re still the one to beat.”

“I guess that’s true…”

“Plus, you showed her tonight how well you bounce back after taking a loss.”

“What do you mean?”

“Between moot court, the pro bono cases, the vaccine trial, and everything else we’ve observed, you had a major winning streak that Beau decided to snap. Most people would sulk in their losses, but you didn’t. You showed up tonight, looking incredible might I add, and managed to put everything behind you to impress the right group of people.”

“If you say so.”

“I know so,” Gabe confidently replies. He reaches out and covers her hand with his, trying to ignore the tingling buzzes on his skin. “You’re a wickedly smart attorney, Tessa. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.”

“Thanks Gabe,” she says, the goofy smile plastering on her face at his heartfelt compliment. “That…that really means a lot to me.”

“It should,” Gabe tells her, reluctantly pulling his hand away again. “I wouldn’t have said it if it wasn’t the absolute truth. Just forget about Vegas and the Rothswells and continue onto the next case.”

Tessa nods and takes another sip of her drink as the conversation between them dies down. She may have already forgotten the Rothswells and was slowly getting over from Beau’s stolen win, but Vegas was still on her mind. It wasn’t just the city that occupied her thoughts, but rather, it was the small wedding chapel and the night she played fiancée to the man sitting next to her. That night was an intense roller coaster of emotions, desires, and confusion; it was a night where lines became blurred and questions began to arise at the nature of her and Gabe’s relationship. It was one specific little interaction that made Tessa not only sense a shift in their relationship, but triggered her to start over analyzing and over thinking every little action from their first meeting up until now.

“Nothing but the best for the most stunning woman on the Strip.”

“Alvin’s gone, you know. You don’t have to—”

He raises a finger to her lips, laying it softly against them as he gives her a smoldering look that makes her throat dry up. “What if I want to, Tessa?”

Tessa truly felt at that moment they were no longer pretending. The things he said to her that night with such conviction in his eyes and voice. The way he softly caressed and touched her with such adoration and tenderness. The way his breath tickled her lips and sent shivers throughout her body at their near-kisses. They were not things done by someone just “pretending”; no one was that good of an actor. However, despite his actions in the wedding chapel, there was one moment that made her second guess herself completely. Just as she was about to admit her feelings for him, he brusquely cut her off and completely changed the direction of the conversation. What punctuated that gut-wrenching action was him dropping her hand quickly, as if he had been burned by her touch. The cocktail of mixed signals made her head pound in dizzying confusion, and it was becoming difficult to ignore for much longer.

She glances over at Gabe, worrying her lip between her teeth and mentally debating whether or not to step into that territory of complete openness. She has a nice, working relationship with him, and she doesn’t want to risk making it awkward to be around him if he truly doesn’t feel anything towards her. On the other hand, she wants to know for her own sake of mind; she has to know if Gabe’s confusing behavior and mixed signals mean anything. They’re off the clock, away from the office, with no interruptions coming between them. It’s the perfect opportunity to air everything out, and hopefully come Monday, there would be no more confusion or misunderstandings.

“Speaking of Vegas…” Tessa mumbles, carefully avoiding his eyes. “I think we should talk.”

Gabe’s spine stiffens in alert at the sudden shift in her demeanor. “About…what, exactly?”

She takes a deep breath, knowing it was too late to steer this conversation in another direction. “About what happened at the wedding chapel.”

“Ah,” Gabe interjects, “that was some brilliant thinking on your part, with the rat and all.”

“That wasn’t the part I wanted to talk about.” She turns her head to look at him. “I wanted to talk about the whole ‘pretend’ couple in love situation.”

“What was wrong with it?” he asks her, his nerves starting to creep up on him.

“Nothing,” she quickly replies. “I was just thinking…what you said…” She takes another deep breath, preparing herself to blurt it out before she lost her nerve. “Did you ever have a moment where…you didn’t think it was pretend?”

Depends on what your answer is going to be. “What do you mean?”

“I know the whole situation was supposed to be pretend in order to get a copy of Lydia’s marriage license, but…some of the things you said…and did…” her ears grow hot as a shiver races down her spine at the memory of Gabe’s gentle caress on her wrist, the pure intimacy behind it.

“Didn’t seem like pretend?” he finishes.

“Yeah.”

“And what do you think?”

Tessa sits there silently contemplating her answer. Up until this point, Tessa never had any reason to doubt Gabe. He is a man who never makes anyone second guess his true intentions or meanings. Every word he speaks is nothing short of the truth. But his reaction on the Strip was the first time she questioned his true intentions. If Gabe did mean what he said, then why did he quickly divert the conversation and act like he couldn’t stand to be around her? Her inner conscience was waving a massive red flag in front of her, but when Gabe gripped her chin and turned her head to focus on him, she caught herself slipping back into the warm pools of his chocolate-colored orbs.

“I really hope you weren’t pretending,” she softly says, voice barely above a whisper.

Gabe feels his stomach lurch at her confession, and the corners of his mouth tug up into a small smile at her answer. Gabe wasn’t going to lie. From the minute she stepped into the office, he became fascinated with her. She was beautiful, but what caught his attention was the way she introduced herself to the others. She was the only one who stood up and spoke with such confidence and conviction about winning the partnership that he would’ve given the spot to her immediately if his name was on the building.

“That’s because I wasn’t.”

Her eyes widen. “Wh…what?”

His thumb skates over her bottom lip, gently tugging it downwards, her breath hitching at the intense, smoldering look in his eyes. “I wasn’t pretending in the wedding chapel. I truly wanted to tell you that you were the most stunning woman on the Strip because you were, and I will always think you’re the most stunning woman I will ever come across.”

“And last night?”

“I still mean it,” he tells her, taking his hand away. “I really do enjoy spending time with you, and I want to spend whatever time I have with you and only you.”

“Good.” Tessa covers his hand with hers, the electric current running between them turning into tingling shivers chasing each other up and down her spine. “Because I really, really like spending time with you too.”

The smile on his face grows bigger, turning into the most genuine one he’s ever had with someone else. Their fingers tentatively move and twist together, the air buzzing with energy just waiting to be released. A sigh of relief floods through him once he sees their hands joined together. He feared he overstepped that night in Vegas, especially since he was sharply reminded of how Tessa flirted with the fireman a few weeks ago for her eviction case. But sitting here now, their confessions out in the open, their hands joined together, made all of it real.

“So where do we go from here?”

Gabe furrows his brow. “What do you mean?”

“We just admitted we like each other, Gabe,” Tessa states like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “The question is, what comes next? Are we together? Do we see where this goes?”

Gabe bit the inside of his cheek at her question, the bliss from earlier now getting replaced with dread and guilt. He knows exactly what he wants to do next. He wants to invite her to his hotel room tonight, spend hours tangled in the silk sheets together, then wake up and do it all again tomorrow morning. He wants to take her out to dinner tomorrow night and treat her to the most decadent food in the city while he teases and touches her until she can no longer bear it. He wants to be openly affectionate with her in the office…and maybe do a few more things behind the closed doors of his office. But he can’t, and he knew the exact reasons why.

The first reason was the more obvious one. She is currently in the competition for a junior partnership, and he is the one overseeing it and potentially making the final decision on who takes his former position. They are co-workers, and while Sadie has no real binding rule that co-workers cannot date or see each other outside of work, Gabe knows there will always be a cloud of doubt and speculation hovering over Tessa if the office discovers they are seeing each other and she wins the junior partnership. Gabe was already beating himself up for what happened between her and Beau; he would never be able to forgive himself if he was the cause of ruining her reputation and the potential she has at becoming the next great attorney. How could he look himself in the mirror every morning if this blows back up in their faces?

But the less obvious reason was a hidden secret, one that he hasn’t shared with anyone else. It was the one reason that stopped him from taking her up to his penthouse in Vegas and doing all the things he fantasizes about doing with her. It was the one reason for the walls Gabe built up over the years that no one else has been able to break down. It was the one reason that prevented Gabe from crossing the lines he wanted to cross. As easy as it would be to cross them tonight with nothing stopping them, he knows he has to make the tough decision, not only to protect her, but also to protect himself. He just hopes it doesn’t change anything between them.

“As much as I would love for us to be together,” he runs his thumb soothingly over her knuckles, already feeling guilty for what he was about to say to her, “I don’t think it would be wise to pursue it.”

“O…oh,” the smile on her face falters at his stinging rejection.

“It’s not that I don’t want you,” Gabe quickly assures her.

“Sure feels that way,” she blurts out with a bitter laugh.

Gabe sighs and scrubs a hand down his face. “You’re stunning Tessa, and whatever would happen between us would be so goddamn mind-blowing, because I know exactly what I’d do with a girl like you.”

As much as his rejection stings, the dark tendrils of desire twist and twirl together inside at the sound of that highly promising and exciting invitation, the rush of desire making her shift in her seat at the tingling sensation. However, his tone tells her he was about to say one little three-letter word that was going to take the invitation back and make the rejection even worse.

"But...?"

Gabe shakes his head and averts his eyes from the pain blooming in hers. “We can’t act on it. I can’t act on it.”

“You can’t or you won’t?”

“I…can’t,” he relents. He untangles their fingers and pulls his hand back to his side of the bar, no matter how painful it is for him to do so. “You already saw how low Sadie’s own blood would go to push himself ahead. Just imagine how low the others would go if they suspected—”

“You and I were seeing each other?”

Gabe nods, a small twinge of relief pricking his heart at her understanding. “Opportunities like this bring the worst out in people.”

“Considering I just had firsthand experience on how shitty people can be, I do understand it.” She takes another drink of her Manhattan, the sting now turning into simmering annoyance. “What I don’t understand is why us being together is now such a big deal for you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m just saying, you didn’t seem too concerned with people seeing us together or what they thought when we went to Hoi On and that business dinner you specifically invited me to,” Tessa shrugs. “I’m just curious about the change of heart all of a sudden.”

“I didn’t have a change of heart. Those situations were entirely different.”

“Different how?”

Gabe pauses for a second to gather his thoughts. He had to tread lightly going forward, or else any chance the two of them had with each other in the future was going to be destroyed. “When I invited you to Hoi On, the other associates weren’t in the office. I knew Aislinn wasn’t going to say anything to Sadie, so no one was going to question why I brought you there.”

“And the business dinner?”

“It truly was supposed to be a business dinner and an opportunity for you to network yourself,” Gabe admits. “I didn’t know beforehand that he was going to cancel on me, and as far as the office is concerned, no one knows that he canceled on me, so everyone still suspects the three of us had that business dinner.”

“But then…oh…” Tessa trails off, another wave of disappointment crashing into her chest. “I get it.”

“You do?”

She nods. “You’re embarrassed to be seen with me. I get it. The senior associate and the top senior partner being seen together would hurt your image with the other partners.”

A tinge of frustration punches his gut. “That’s not what I mean. I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you. If I was, I wouldn’t have invited you to join me at the lake.”

“Good point,” Tessa tells him. “You certainly didn’t mind taking me out to the lake last night with Sadie and the other associates sitting around.”

“That was different too,” Gabe bluntly responds. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Then help me to understand,” she sighs, exasperated.

“There’s no point in tell you,” Gabe shoots back. “You’re intelligent and observant, Tessa. You know exactly why we can’t pursue…whatever there is between us.”

“The only thing standing in the way of pursuing whatever is between us is you,” Tessa points out.

He runs his hands through his disheveled hair again. “It’s not that I want to stand in the way of us. There’s so many reasons on why we shouldn’t pursue this.”

“Well, so far, you haven’t given me one that we can’t find a way to work around. So please enlighten me, Mr. Ricci,” she crosses her arms over her chest and gives him a hard stare. “Is your reasoning really about the partnership and my reputation, or is it about something more?”

As Gabe sits there in silence, Tessa’s mind flashes back to their previous interactions. Last night was the most unguarded she has seen Gabe since she started working at McGraw Byrne. The business dinner was the first time the two of them ever got physically close to each other. Vegas was the first time the two of them were fixing to jump across those boundaries and become one. But each time, Gabe pulled back, and his action spoke volumes. And with the way Gabe was currently avoiding meeting her gaze head on and how his fingers are tightly gripping his empty scotch glass makes the light bulb go off in her head. There was another reason Gabe was hiding, one that has to do entirely with himself. She just has to hope that she is important enough for him to be honest with her.

“Well?”

Gabe sighs. “It really is about the partnership,” he lies, firmly keeping his gaze locked on the bar top. “The partnership is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and you shouldn’t waste it or throw it away.”

The air turns icy and frigid at his words. Tessa grabs her clutch off the bar top, knowing there was no more reason for her to still be around. “You may be able to bullshit other people, Gabe, but you’re not going to bullshit me. You and I both know this is more than just the partnership, and out of respect for your privacy, I’m not going to pry. Only you can make the decision to share it with me, but until you do, I think it’s best to forget whatever we feel for each other.”

Tessa gives his hand a soft pat before downing the rest of her drink and sliding off the bar stool. Before she could go far, Gabe’s hand reaches out and wraps around her wrist.

“Tessa…”

“Don’t worry about it, Gabe,” she says, gently prying his fingers off her wrist. “I’m honestly a little hurt and disappointed that you can’t be honest with me, but I’m not mad at you.” She places a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I really do like you, Gabe, but I also like and respect myself too much to go after someone who isn’t as crazy about me as I am about them, nor will I go after someone who keeps pulling back when I want to get closer.”

“That’s not—"

She ignores his plea, digging into her clutch and pulling out a platinum-looking card. “You know where to find me when you make up your mind and have an answer for me, but don’t expect me to be waiting around forever for it.”

She places the card down on the bar top; with a sad smile, she brushes past him and heads out of the hotel bar, the tears stinging the corners of her eyes. Gabe watches her figure retreat until she disappears behind the gilded elevator doors.

“Dammit!” he slams a fist against the bar top. The empty glasses jump a little at the impact, but what catches his attention was the quick flash of light reflected on the platinum card as it jumped into the air. Gabe reaches out and slides it towards him, his spirits deflating even more when he sees what she left.

The spare key to her room.

To anyone else, it may be just a room key, but Gabe knows that it is so much more meaningful than that. It symbolizes the key to her heart and the key to their future together, a key that would only work for a short amount of time until Tessa closes both of those doors on him. The decision to walk through those open doors was entirely in his hands, but before he could do that, he has to make one other decision. The time had come for him to do the one thing he has avoided doing for years, the one decision he found easy to avoid until tonight.

It was time for him to confront himself and his fears.

__________________________________

This was going to go up a lot sooner, but because my job decided to go through some technology changes recently, it meant something that previously worked is now broken and no longer works. Unfortunately, that was me this time around, so my usual break times where I work on stories was used to help fix what someone else broke. 

Sorry about the delay, but I really do anticipate part 2 being uploaded soon, much sooner than LOA coming back from its hiatus.

For all of you who have read this story and made it this far, thank you so much for your support! It means more to me than you could ever imagine!

I love you all so much!

Second Chance Tagging in case Tumblr becomes Tumbroke again:  @choices-addict @choiceskatie @lady-calypso @chemist-ana @kat-tia801 @chrissythadon @nishas-paradise  @blainehellyes @mm2305 @suitfer​ @thegreentwin @pixelnutrookie​

[azureflight]

So, I have just binged the first season of The Remarried Empress

And I have some thoughts:

First of all, I am really curious as to how Navier will react when she learns that her new husband has been preparing for a war of conquest against the country empire of her ex-husband, which also happens to be her home country. That war, is gonna be doozy.

Beyond that, however, their reputation is at an all time low and their have their work cut out for them in the Western Kingdom.

There was some merit to the argument that marrying an experienced, well respected lady who knows state craft would help with Heinrey’s image to become more serious, however, the circumstances of their affair did the exact opposite.

For now, it looks like their playboy king went and involved himself with an international scandal, having an illicit affair with the empress of the neighboring kingdom and getting himself in trouble.

Far from looking mature, he looks like a fool who almost got himself killed and a war started over his dick.

Navier, on the hand, looks like a cold and calculating seductress. It looks like as soon as her husband brought a mistress she immediately began to work on an out, seduced the obviously foolish prince and then jumped ship. It makes her look greedy, power hungry and potentially vindictive.

Not to mention, I won’t be surprised if people start to assume the real reason for the divorce was partially the affair between Navier and Heinrey and that Sovieshu didn’t like being cheated on.

Being a foreigner with an image of too reserved and “shrewd” was enough for the people of Western Kingdom to demonize Naiver, but with all the surrounding scandals, it is almost a given. This is some Helen of Troy level shit show, The Diplomatic Edition. 

And I don’t think her simply being a good queen will be enough. Yes, Navier is pretty great in the affairs of the state, understands how actual ruling works and is a highly qualified bureaucrat. Unfortunately, none of that matter to common folk, they don’t see it. They can tell when their own life gets better/worse, but it takes time for those effects to cascade, and the credit can easily be stolen, blame easily shfited, her normal queenly work, along with charities won’t be enough.

Not to mention, any future tensions with Eastern Empire will be blamed on her. People will either think she is the one doing it as revenge, or it is happening because of her. Either way, future war can easily be blamed on her, which would rapidly erode whatever goodwill or sway the crown has over their subjects.

They need to find a way to quickly ingratiate both of them with the public.

Looking at the way the relations were perceived in the Eastern Empire before the whole divorce shit show, it doesn’t look like actual politics of war has been initiated by the Western Kingdom. Heinrey and his crew were getting prepared, yes. But it doesn’t look like they had started to sell the idea of a war to the public. Before any action can be taken, the population and the army, nobility, merchant class and various other key holders need to be convinced that the war is righteous, just and necessary.

On that regard, I think Heinrey’s plant o declare himself emperor and rename his realm an empire can work, if done right.

People like bold young kings who try to grow the power of the realm. His declaration is sure to take over the news and scandals of his marriage, as that would be a major diplomatic shift involving all other realms. 

Symbolic as it may seem, titles and names actually hold a lot of weight. A peer suddenly starting to call themselves with a higher and more prestigious title, is sure to not only irk potential rivals, but also make them feel agitated and threatened. After all, why would you start calling yourself emperor, if you aren’t gonna try to exert dominion over fellow kings, or try to directly challenge the other emperor?

This move has the potential to be seen arrogant and foolish, but done right, it could be a moment of national pride for Western Kingdom’s folk. I might be reading too much into this, however, from Heinrey’s inner dialogue as well as his brief conversations with comrades, it looks like the people (or at least some people) in the Western Kingdom feel like they are being looked down upon by the East, and have immense pride in their own military might.

So this declaration could be their moment of standing up for themselves and their own worth, refusing to be content with a lesser position. If done right, if sold right, this could immensely chance the current dynamic. Then Navier being a well known and skillful empress would actually come into play.

People may not care about it by default, but once conversation shifts to whether Western Kingdom deserves to be an empire or not, having a “real” empress, a highly regarded lady with exceptional breeding, would actually work to legitimize them. While Eastern Empire will have a lowborn, tactless, potentially fugitive slave, as their empress.

This could help rebrand any tensions between Western Kingdom and Eastern Empire. Instead of being about or caused by Navier, it would be about the west calling themselves an empire and the east trying to stop them. That could galvanize the public, the army, and would work well with the pride and ambitions of the nobility.

Another thing that could work, is a trade deal with Luipt to expand reach to another continent. It certainly fits the image of wanting to elevate the status and power of the Western Kingdom. In this case, Navier and Kaufman already being familiar, having a relatively close relationship and having already done the bureaucratic aspect of it once, helps. They could quickly arrange the deal and it would be a move that helps them not only domestically, but internationally.

The empress of the east gets divorced and the diplomat of the Luipt immediately goes to her new kingdom and gets a deal there? That makes it look like the actual power and potential of the east was the empress. It sends the signal that Western Kingdom’s imperial ambitions have merit and international support. That would shift the other kingdoms from hostile to adaptable, willing to change to whom they give more regard.

Another kingdom so readily and swiftly accepting their deal would also makes westerners feel validated. And again, an ambitious trade project to another continent would quickly make the whole imperial deal legitimate act of national growth, instead of it seeming like a foolish playboy’s attempt to appease his manipulative lover.

There shouldn’t bee too much of a time gap between those two however, and it shouldn’t take too long to declare the whole empire thing either. Otherwise their impact on correcting the images of Navier and Heinrey as well as justifying their new titles would be lessened to the point of being irrelevant.

Beyond those, I wonder how the dynamic between east and west will playout. Sovieshu is a fool who is way in over his head. Can Heinrey use it?

We have seen both courtiers and loyal aides, as well as other nobles make loud and quite indignant objections to the whole divorce. They won’t all just change their loyalty, obviously. However, this could be a sticking point for many years to come, a wedge that can be exploited.

If Sovieshu antagonizes Navier’s family, that could greatly alarm and upset the other high ranking nobles. Surely, there will be those who will enjoy it as they would be rivals with Trovis, however, no noble, especially no duke, will like how quickly the emperor discarded and sabotaged such an elevated family. It goes against all of their senses of safety and specialty.

In these type of societies, most of the loyalty is owned to individuals, not to “people” or to the land. There are exceptions, obviously, however, it is entirely within the realm of possibility that with Navier’s marriage to Heinrey, several nobles who may be displeased with Sovieshu could start looking to the Western Kingdom as a better patron. If the west can start stripping nobles from the eastern empire, that whole war would not only be an easier sell, but way easier to win. Remember, all those nobles have their own armies.

Overall, I am quite excited for the second season, let’s see how it all goes. Maybe all of my guesses and prediction are wrong, maybe the story will go in an entirely irrelevant direction. I’m just here for the right and speculating is fun while waiting :D

[robininthelabyrinth]

Tedious Joys - Chapter 4 -

- Ao3 link -

It had been an inauspicious year to begin with.

A poor harvest led to famine among the common people, which in turn created conditions ripe for evil creatures of all sorts; the night-hunts that were often treated as playful competition by the cultivation world became more like the boring drudgery of everyday work, disciples setting off in packs on a regular basis all over, time and time again. The tension wore on the sects, some more than others, and dozens of small disputes began to rise up, needing to be dealt with. Lan Qiren’s schedule became busy, and then busier, and then became overwhelming; he was forced to discard one pastime after another in his efforts to hold back the rising tide, and in the end sacrificed sleep and sometimes meals to preserve only two: playing for Jiwei and spending time with his nephews.

It meant that he was unprepared, both mentally and physically, for word of the death of Cangse Sanren and her husband, which took over two years to finally come to ears of the Great Sects – such a shocking failure of information that Lan Qiren briefly wondered if it had been concealed intentionally.

The sudden shock of grief hit him hard.

He tried to convince himself that he had expected it, that she had expected it, that at least her son was now safe in the Lotus Pier, and yet all he could think about was that he had one less friend in the world. The sadness interfered with his focus, creeping in at all hours, uncontrollable, until one evening he was playing guqin with his nephews and looked up to find them both weeping uncontrollably from the music he was playing. When he tried to stop mid-song, he abruptly collapsed, and upon waking was informed that he had become feverish at some point in the night.

His sect doctors advised him to go into seclusion until he could control himself.

Lan Qiren refused.

They advised him again, this time with greater insistence, and with the support of his sect elders.

“Tell them to fuck off,” Lao Nie suggested, pouring a calming tea that he’d brought from Qinghe.

He’d come to visit with his sons, Nie Mingjue disappearing with Lan Xichen as always and Nie Huaisang engaged in the newest stage in his eternal battle of wills with Lan Wangji over a game of weiqi that they were both taking far, far too seriously.

(Despite knowing Lan Wangji and indeed Nie Huaisang better than most people alive, Lan Qiren honestly could not determine whether the two of them despised each other or were close friends. Lao Nie claimed the answer was both, simultaneously, but Lan Qiren didn’t understand that at all.)

“That is not how we do things here,” Lan Qiren said, accepting a cup. It was rude for him to allow a fellow sect leader who was his guest to serve him, rather than the other way around, but he had a headache from the persistent fever and exhaustion that was even more persistent, the boundless river of grief in his heart translating into physical agony, and anyway Lao Nie hadn’t exactly asked permission before proceeding. “It would be more appropriate for me to present a well-reasoned case for it not being necessary, based on rules, authority, and precedent.”

“Except you can’t put one together because you’re upset and tired,” Lao Nie said with a snort. “That’s stupid. You’re overworked, stretched too thin, you just found out that your friend is dead – you need sleep, not seclusion. Anyway, what happens if you do go into seclusion? Aren’t they always saying they need you to stick around to be Sect Leader so desperately?”

Lan Qiren rubbed his eyes. “It would not be true seclusion. I would be expected to continue certain parts of the work.”

“You’re joking.”

“It would be primarily administrative correspondence –”

“By that token, your brother ought to do it!”

Lan Qiren glared. “It’s not the same and you know it. And they are not wrong that I need rest.”

“From what I recall of what you’ve told me about your sect’s practice of seclusion, that’s not rest,” Lao Nie said acidly. “Surely there’s something I can do to help. I could send over some of my disciples…”

“Excellent idea,” Lan Qiren said, rolling his eyes. “We can replace all those rumors that I’ve been secretly pining for years over my best female friend with ones regarding my best male friend.”

“It is a little ‘hero rushes to save the lady’, isn’t it?” Lao Nie said thoughtfully, shaking his head in amusement. “But seriously, I came here for a reason, and it’s not Jiwei or A-Jue or anything like that. You’re always trying to help me, Qiren. For once, let me help you.”

Lan Qiren would normally protest this – because Lao Nie had so done many things for him over the years that it was an incorrect statement, because he hated the helpless feeling of letting someone do things for him, because that wasn’t something sect leaders did for each other – but he was tired and he feared seclusion and sometimes he thought it might be nice to do one thing that could be considered a little reckless before he died.

“Very well,” he said, closing his eyes and drinking the tea. “Do as you like.”

That was a dangerous thing to say to someone like Lao Nie, who promptly pulled three dozen Nie sect disciples from out of nowhere and sent them scurrying around hunting down evil with the energetic enthusiasm of youth entrusted with gigantic sabers and the freedom to use them as they would, while he himself settled in very happily in Lan Qiren’s home, sleeping on a guest bed, keeping away unwanted visitors and helping with any paperwork that didn’t explicitly require a Lan. He also recruited Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen to assist, despite Lan Qiren’s protests that bureaucratic busywork was not an appropriate way for boys of approximately fifteen and definitely twelve, respectively, to spend their time; both of them very solemnly assured Lan Qiren that they were more than happy to do whatever they could.

Even little Lan Wangji and Nie Huaisang bullied their way into being involved, insisting that they wanted to do it more than they wanted to train or play, although at their ages there really wasn’t much they could do besides grind ink and run messages to the relevant recipients.

As Lan Qiren might have expected, rumors immediately started about some sort of torrid affair – life would be so much easier if everyone obeyed the rules against gossiping purposelessly – and they even got to the point that several of the sect elders cautiously hinted to him that although cutsleeve relationships were far from being in vogue, they had at no point been explicitly forbidden by the rules, and cited several provisions which seemed to favor such things.

Lan Qiren had thanked them for the reminder and caustically commented that he would be sure to incorporate that into his next set of lectures as he could see no other reason for them to mention it, and soon enough they backed off, shaking their heads. Still, those busybodies that had his best interests in mind were still preferable to the ones that started once more raising the idea of finding him a nice bride of suitable age – by suitable age, they meant too old for children, lest he get any idea of challenging his brother’s line of descent – before he did anything foolish like fall in love, or, worse, to act on it.

Obviously he had no intentions of permitting that.

Still, after a month of enforced rest, Lan Qiren was feeling a bit more himself. He took on more and more of the work, albeit supervised by five sets of judging eyes, and even began to play once more, this time without bringing anyone to tears. Jiwei and Xinfei rested together by the door in comfortable equilibrium, hot and cold, weak and powerful, and the jade pendant that Lan Qiren carried with him remained cool to the touch, not hot at all.

“You will need to go soon,” he told Lao Nie, who shrugged, not denying it – a month was a long time for a sect leader to be away from home absent some valid excuse like a war, not quite too long but starting to push it. No matter how effective one’s deputies were nor how much work one did from a distance, a sect leader was still necessary, in the end, or else Lan Qiren’s life would have been very different.

“Next week,” he said. “That’ll give me just enough time to take the boys home before heading back out again for the conference in Qishan.”

“There’s a conference? I wasn’t informed.”

“No, you weren’t, because I didn’t inform you,” Lao Nie said, utterly shameless. “You’re going to stay here and rest. It’s just a stupid party.”

“That doesn’t matter if it is also a stupid party which everyone else is attending,” Lan Qiren said sternly.

“Jiang Fengmian isn’t going, either,” Lao Nie said. “Doesn’t want to leave his new ward alone just yet…newest rumor has it that Wei Wuxian’s his bastard with Cangse Sanren.”

Lan Qiren shut his eyes. “Of course. Wasn’t I the one having the affair with her last week?”

“Perhaps it was a love triangle?”

“A square, at minimum. Don’t forget she had a husband.”

“A pyramid!”

“Lao Nie…”

Lao Nie laughed. “Jin Guangshan isn’t making it, either. His wife’s giving birth – predictions say to a daughter, I think, assuming this one survives the birth – and all accounts say that she’s threatened to cut his balls off if he even thinks of leaving Lanling City. So, you see, it really is just a stupid party, and by missing it you’ll be doing just the same thing as all the other Great Sects.”

Lan Qiren felt a sudden stab of misgiving. “Except you.”

“Except me,” Lao Nie said cheerfully. “Me and Hanhan.”

Lan Qiren truly did not want to know what went on in Lao Nie’s mind sometimes.

“Why don’t you refrain from going as well?” he asked, aware he sounded tetchy and irritable like some jealous wife in an opera. “If no one else is going.”

“Oh, I have to go. A-Han asked for me specifically,” Lao Nie said, and Lan Qiren thought to himself oh I’m certain he did, then promptly felt bad about doing so. Sneering for no reason was prohibited. “Someone’s gifted him with some magnificent saber for his collection, apparently, and he was boasting that it was the best there was right up until someone stuck their nose in it and said that it was all well and good but no comparison to my Jiwei.”

Lan Qiren could imagine exactly how well a statement like that had gone over with Wen Ruohan.

“And now he’s demanding you show up and produce evidence?” he asked, unimpressed.

Lao Nie grinned. “Ah, Qiren, it’s almost like you’ve met the man before.”

“You shouldn’t encourage him,” Lan Qiren said. “Why should you go just because he asked? He’s your equal, not your master.”

“There’s no harm in giving him some face.”

Lan Qiren could think of several ways that it could lead to harm, the inflation of Wen Ruohan’s already bloated ego being not the least of them, but Lao Nie was his equal as well, his equal and his elder. If the man had made up his mind, as it clearly appeared that he had, there was nothing Lan Qiren could say that would change it.

“Good luck, then,” he said, shaking his head, and called the boys to come in for dinner. As usual, the Lan half of the table remained mute while the Nie half did nothing but chatter, each according to their own family custom. It was a test of wills and endurance – Lan Wangji’s eye kept twitching every time Nie Huaisang filled in words for him, possibly due to the extremely high pitch Nie Huaisang chose to represent him – but it was a joy to share the time with them nonetheless.

Before Lao Nie left, Lan Qiren tried, not for the first time, to press the jade pendant that resonated with Jiwei into his hand. “You should take it with you,” he insisted. “Especially if you’re going to the Nightless City to exhibit your saber – there’s a great deal of resentful energy there, and you know that always gets Jiwei’s bloodlust up.”

“Which in turn will sharpen my reflexes, just when I need them most,” Lao Nie said, pressing the jade pendant right back into Lan Qiren’s hand. “Better you have it.”

“Lao Nie…”

“Jiwei likes you now,” Lao Nie said, as if that mattered. “She’s been just as avid to protect you as I’ve been, this past month – if I didn’t need her by my side, I’d almost be tempted to leave her here with you.”

Lan Qiren arched his eyebrows. “Are you suggesting that I can’t protect myself? Here? In the Cloud Recesses?”

“Saber spirits are not smart, Qiren. But even she can tell that you’re not well yet.”

Lan Qiren waved a hand dismissively. “Well enough,” he said, and it was even true – the grief was still there, of course, and likely would be every time he thought of Cangse Sanren in the near future, excluding maybe the few times when it was one of his students that resembled her only in terms of how much mischief she would get up to, but it was no longer drowning him. He had hope that, in time, this wound would also scab over and the hurt fade, and that at that time he could once again think of her with nothing but joy.

Lao Nie huffed. “Well enough isn’t well,” he grumbled, but that didn’t stop him from gathering his children and his disciples and heading out back towards Qinghe. “Take care of yourself, Qiren! Be well!”

“And you,” Lan Qiren said. “Keep out of trouble, my friend.”

From what he later heard, the party at the Nightless City went about as anyone with half a brain might have expected: Wen Ruohan swanned around until Lao Nie showed up, there were tense words exchanged, and then Lao Nie produced Jiwei, allowing Wen Ruohan to examine her and even pat her a few times before the Wen sect leader was forced, with great reluctance and through gritted teeth, to admit her superiority to the saber he had received.

The stories ended there, but Lan Qiren had enough imagination to fill in how the rest of the night might have gone, especially with the only sect leaders there being Lao Nie and Wen Ruohan. He sincerely hoped that Lao Nie had remembered all those lectures he’d given him about the foolishness of lying in the same bed as poisonous snakes, no matter how beautiful they might be on the surface.

Perhaps he had, perhaps he hadn’t.

Either way, Lan Qiren heard nothing else until the day he interrupted his own afternoon lecture with a sudden cry of intense pain – the jade pendant had abruptly gone so hot that it had burned, and although his clothing, protected by stitched-in incantations, was unharmed, the heat was so severe that it had nevertheless left a mark on his thigh through all those layers.

Clutching at his leg, Lan Qiren ordered his students to run to fetch him cold water and a doctor, and wondered what in the world had happened.

A letter, he decided. He would write Lao Nie a letter to ask.

[etherealluminescence]

helloo! can i request the brother with a virgin mc who’s really nervous when they get intimate because she’s scared she cant pleasure them? you can make it nsfw if you want. btw i really like your writing! i hope you have a good day 😊

Hello anon! Thanks for asking, I’ll be making this one nsfw! It’s pretty long since I included smut scenarios at the bottom of each, and as an opening to each hc! Just skip the italics if you don’t like nsfw or feel free to skip this whole thing if it’s not your style, random tumblr user ✨ And thank you I hope you have a good day too anon 🥺🥺

I’m such a kinky person who had to include tail fucking by levi even if no one agrees that is his kink and no one can tell me otherwise.

Brothers react to a f!virgin!MC (NSFW)

Lucifer

Quiet moans filled the air as Lucifer began undressing you. Taking off your blouse, he cupped your left breast through the cloth of your bra, eliciting a yelp from your slightly swollen lips. Slowly, he etched his hand down to your core, rubbing it.

Before he could continue, however, you let out little sobs. You thought you were ready for this, but could you really do it? You were a virgin and judging from his height he’s probably as giant down there as his ego is.

Would you even be enough for him? There’s no way, right? What if he wants you to do something? Are you just going to ruin the mood?

Confused, Lucifer immediately stops his actions and tries to console you. Did he do something wrong? Was he pressuring you into this? Did you not actually want him?

Covering your face with your hands, you tell him that you’re actually a virgin, and don’t know what you should be doing. Would he even be satisfied with you?”

“MC, darling, show me your face.” This was not a command, it was a request. He wanted you to look him in the eyes when he talks to you.

Bringing your arms down, you look up at him and start to cry a bit more. Was he going to berate you?

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, okay? I assure you, I want to do this with you, you are more than enough to satisfy me. And all you need to do is let me hear that beautiful voice of yours.”

Now a crying and blushing mess, you bring your head up to give him a quick peck on the lips, a sign telling him you want to continue.

Deepening the kiss, Lucifer easily starts the mood back up again. Kissing, biting, and sucking all over your neck down between your breasts. Dark purple hickies covered your body by the time he was finished. Somewhere along the lines of him biting and sucking, he had managed to discard your undergarments.

His finger slowly entered you as you stifle in a moan. As he fingered you, he gradually let you get used to it before adding a second, then third, and even a fourth. The sensation was so foreign to you, but oh so very welcomed. Clenching around his fingers, you let out a small cry that it feels weird, as your sticky fluids coat his fingers and trickle down your thighs.

Smiling down at you, he removes his fingers and licks them clean before kissing you and letting you taste a bit of yourself. “You’re doing perfect, what was there ever to worry about, love?”

Mammon

“Of course the human wants to do it with me, who wouldn’t?” Mammon semi-yelled in an attempt to cover his embarrassment. Taking both your hands in one of his, he slowly lowered you down on his bed as he gave you a kiss.

Before he could do anymore, you brought your knees up and told him to wait. He was sort of offended and embarrassed, but decided to listen to what you had to say.

“Im-a-virgin-please-be-gentle-with-me-and-don’t-make-fun-of-me-I-don’t-know-what-to-do-or-how-to-pleasure-you.” you very quickly said before burying your face inside of his pillows beside you.

“What was that MC? You gotta say it slower! Slower! Ya know?” Mammon responded. Truthfully, he heard you clearly the first time, but he just wanted to hear you say it again, but slower, and let him soak in the glory of this.

Taking your face out of the pillow, you looked up at Mammon and repeated yourself. “I’m a virgin, Mammon. I don’t know how this works or how to pleasure you, but please, be gentle with me.”

Seeing his sly smile, you wanted to die. He did it on purpose, didn’t he? Before you could hide yourself from reality again, he pulls you into a deep kiss. “I’m gonna tell everyone the Great Mammon was your first in everything!”

“Ma- mpf!” You were cut off by another kiss. Turning you around, Mammon propped your ass into the air and gave it a small spank making you squeal. Today, he’ll let his little human be, and work hard for them.

Ripping off your pants and underwear, he pushed his fingers into your ass and began to slowly push in and out. His other hand worked at stroking himself, telling you to watch so you know how to do it next time, because you will be giving him a blowjob eventually.

Climaxing on his fingers, he pushed them into your mouth and told you to suck. You ate every last bit of it as if it were the tastiest substance. Pulling his fingers in your ass out, and pushed his length in, causing you to cry from the size. “You were that hungry for my cum MC~? Get ready.” That cocky son of a bitch.

Leviathan

Loud moans from the both of you echoed throughout the room. Levi’s hands were roaming your upper half while his tailed worked on getting rid of your lower half’s clothing. But just as he got to taking off your underwear.

You didn’t mean to, but you started to cry. You were shaking. You just couldn’t control it anymore, out of everyone, you figure Levi would be a virgin and not know what to do like you. But you underestimated how many eroge games he plays.

Startled, Levi was trying his best to function. Why were you crying?? Did you not want a yucky otaku like human? Did you not like him? Did you agree to date him for a few months out of pure pity and suddenly want to get rid of him?

Trying your best to calm yourself, for both your’s and Levi’s sakes, you let out a shaky breath and explain to him what you’re feeling. The gears in his head are finally shifting.

“You mean a beautiful and amazing person like you is a v-virgin?” Levi asks, unsure if he’s hearing it right or if you’re making an excuse.

Repeating yourself, this boy was ecstatic. It was the complete opposite of what you thought was going to happen. You mean he gets to be your first?? And otaku that likes to watch idols and plays video games 17 hours a day actually gets to be YOUR first time?

Levi was amazingly happy and even expressed that very loudly. His little tail was wagging. You couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction, soon enough forgetting your own worries.

Levi told you not to worry. Although he’s also a virgin, he’s played plenty of eroge games and seen enough hentai to know what to do!!

Spreading your thighs, Levi inches closer until you could feel his hot breath hovering over your clit. Using his tail, he pushed it into your mouth, causing you to moan in shock. As his tail began fucking your mouth, he began working on eating you out.

With one of his fingers, he reached up and began to pinch one of you buds while keeping up the pace. All of this was extremely stimulating for you, a virgin. Two of your holes were being filled and your breasts were also getting attention. Pressing your thighs against his face, you began to smush him as you got closer to your edge, which only excited him even further.

As he pulled out of your mouth, you climaxed and dug your hands into his back, leaving scratch marks. However, the night was still young and just one climax wasn’t enough. There’s a reason he was fucking your mouth, as he shoved his tail into your ass and pushed his length into you.

Satan

Swallowing, you look up at Satan to try and gauge what on earth you should do. Taking his length into your hands, you slowly began to rub and stroke, as best you knew how.

At that point, it was obvious. You couldn’t fake it. You were shaking, you looked confused, and you clearly did not know how to give a blowjob.

Satan was first to speak up between the awkward silence you two shared. Your boyfriend wasn’t going to judge you, but he wasn’t going to get off this way either.

“Do you, perhaps not you know, know how?” It was definitely awkward. The two of you were inwardly cringing. Sex wasn’t something you two often talked about, or well, ever talked about. You never thought about having sex with anyone in general.

Quickly, you responded with a little “no”.

He isn’t judgemental, he could predict it from the fact you would close your eyes if two people held hands in a movie calling it “lewd” and unforgivable. He thought it was a human joke at first, with Solomon saying that too, but the blush on your face was way too strong for it to be a dedicated joke.

Satan takes liberty to guiding your hands over the sensitive parts, and the general parts, telling you how and where to touch and suck.

While he’s explaining, he’s also boasting his knowledge of dick anatomy.

Placing your hands on his hips, you began to lick the tip of his dick before moving to the underside, making sure to give it all the attention it deserved. You soon took a third of him in, your limit, and used your hands to stroke the remaining parts.

Groaning, he entangled his fingers into your hair and began to accidentally choke you against him. Little tears were forming in your eyes, but if felt damn good to have his thick member filling you up, as you listen to hear his groans that you made.

Climaxing without warning, his hot bitter seed filled your mouth. You nearly gagged it out, but swallowed it whole in order to try your best to pleasure him. Patting your head, Satan tells you that you were amazing, and a very quick learner.

Asmodeous

“How about we have some fun, darling?” Asmodeous whispered into your ear before biting it as he wrapped his around you from behind. His hands began to slowly fondle your breasts, but before he could any further.

You knew this day was coming. Asmodeous was the demon of lust, and he was your boyfriend. A very amazing boyfriend who held back on his lust and stayed loyal to you meaning he’s been sex deprived for months. It was finally time, or you might accidentally kill him.

You were more than willing to help your boyfriend, you really were, but you were also scared. He’s been with probably thousands of people by now- he’s probably a thousand and slept with a hundred thousand! How could you, a virgin, satisfy the master of fucking?

But only because he is the master of fucking, he could tell you were uneasy. He tried to avoid making too many moves on you, other than flirting, because he would just know you were feeling nervous, but he couldn’t understand why. He knows he’s beautiful but you don’t have to be so worried to see him nude?

Asmo began to stroke your back and slowly backed down, he could wait until you were ready. But you however, had made up your mind. You were terrified, you knew you wouldn’t be as good as him or the other succubusses who were literally born to fuck, but you wouldn’t want him to be horny and be unable to do anything about it because he loves you.

Grabbing his hand, you turned around and looked up into his eyes, and swallowed putting on a brave face. “Asmo... I’m a virgin, and I’m not sure if I could pleasure you, but if you would, please take care of me.” You started off strong but slowly began to mutter, blushing wildly.

Asmo was incredibly happy. You mean his darling MC is a virgin;; like his girlfriend was worried about pleasuring him and wants to be fucked by him?? And only him?? Ever?

He literally forgets he was trying to get the sick and begins to squeal. He’s holding your hands and telling you words of encouragement and that you’re the only one for him, and that he will teach you exactly what to do.

Groping your ass, he gave it a rough squeeze as you yelped. Taking advantage of the situation he shoved his tongue into your mouth and easily claimed dominance. Swirling his tongue around, he made sure to taste all of your mouth. You’re his.

“That’s just the basics on how to get a quick kiss~” he teased as he started to nibble on your neck. His left hand was already under your panty, fingering you, while his right was massaging your breast. Your small whimpers and mewls only encouraged him to continue and do more.

He knows he should only do so much while you’re a virgin and probably don’t have a high enough stamina yet, but damn were you sexy as fuck. You on the other hand, were drowning in pleasure as he sucked and bit your buds and was pushing even more fingers deeper inside you, hitting your g-spot.

Beelzebub

Beel’s big figure dominated you as he pinned you down underneath him on his bed. You had always know he was tall and well sculpted, but being this close and intimate with him, you were having second thoughts.

“You’re so pretty, MC.” Beel whispered as he gently kissed you on the lips, as if going any harder would cause you some kind of harm.

Ah, of course he was gentle. He always was. It sort of made you feel bad, and even conflicted for having thoughts of being scared. But hearing him unzip his pants, and looking at his dick brought you back into reality.

There’s was no way it was going to fit. Your two hands could not wrap around that. Your mouth could not fit more than a third of that, even on a good day. How are you going to pleasure him or have sex if you can’t even fit him?

Beel was always watching you, so he could immediately tell you’re uneasy. And he immediately began to tell you not to worry, and it’s okay. And that he will stop and go get snacks for you if you want to stop right now.

It caused you to cry. He’s just so sweet, how did you land the greatest and softest boyfriend in the history of the world?

He wasn’t sure what to do so he went to his dresser and pulled out a bag of chips and offered it to you. Seeing Beel so worried and concerned made you feel a lot better.

“I’m fine, Beel. I just really love you, but I’m a virgin. I’m not sure if I could fit you, or well.. pleasure you. I’m sorry, it’s stupid.” You ended up telling him.

Did you think he was just going to go put it in without prep work?? Of course not! You silly goose, he was going to prep the life out of you. And him. Don’t worry. You probably won’t even be able to go all the way today.

“Oh.” Well now you learned about what prepping was. And you thanked whoever came up with that idea.

Bringing your thighs into his shoulders, he pulled your panties down and pushed his tongue into you, and started to swirl. One of his hands was covered in lube, working on himself, while the other was working on your ass.

Going deeper and deeper, you let out small whimpers that gradually grew into loud moans. Your body was no longer in your control, and the only thing in your mind was now your desires.

Climaxing for the first time, Beel didn’t even bother to stop. He ate you up like his favorite meal and continued to work on you, pulling his fingers out of your ass to give it a light smack before continuing his work. “One day, we’ll get to the full course, but let’s enjoy this first.”

Belphegor

“You’re such a good girl.” He whispered pulling you closer towards him. As he took off your shirt and bra, he gave your nipple a quick pinch before starting, causing you to yelp in surprise.

You honestly had no clue what you were doing. You knew you were being intimate with Belphie, but how did you get to this point? One second you two were cuddling, and the next he asks you to help with his hard on.

You didn’t realize there was so much to the bedroom world. There were different positions? Styles? Ways of pleasuring people? What on earth is a breastjob? Is that like plastic surgery?

Before you could say anything, Belphie could already see you shaking. Hell, you were shaking more than the time he kind of killed you.

He already had his suspicions that you had no idea how this worked, but is that really something to be scared about? He didn’t get it.

Sighing, he tried his best to tell you how it works. He didn’t want to embarrass you by making you say that you’re a virgin allowed, so in a way, he was being nice.

“Put your hands on my dick and suck. Afterwards pull out and put your breasts against it. It would kill you if we did it raw.”

Blushing, you stared at him with wide eyes. So he could already tell you’re a virgin, huh? Was it really that obvious? But before you had time to express your inexperience, and how it was obvious, Belphie unbuckled his pants and removed his boxers. He just wanted his hard on gone, not a therapy session.

Thanks, Belphie. You tried to be nice in your own way.

Letting saliva form in your mouth for a bit, you bring your face closer to his length as you open and start to suck. Belphie’s hands entangled themselves in your locks, guiding you on how to slowly bob, and when to stop.

As you removed yourself from him, he gripped you by the hips and pushed you forward, your breasts against his lower half. Parting your breasts, you push him all the way inbetween, before slowing starting to move up and down.

With the help of Belphie, you gained a steady pace and gradually began bounding on your own. His low groans encouraged you and you went as best you could. With him no longer needing to guide you, he began to squeeze and roll your nipples between his fingers, causing you to cry out in ecstasy as well.

[mc-critical]

Despite of the "rough" first season, I think we can all agree that the Janissary rebellion episodes were great. There is so much to enjoy here: a situation quite different from what we've seen, with comparatively higher stakes and especially, Mahidevran and Hürrem protecting each other's children. The amazing showcase of their motherly instincts that care only for the nurturing and safety of these kids, without ever taking into account that they are the enemy's, completely stole the show.

However, what I loved even more, is the aftermath of this protection, that served to drive one of the most human moments of Mahidevran's in front of Hürrem: her going to her chambers and trying to return her ring.

It was definetly an unexpected visit, a move no one would really see coming, judging by both Gülşah's look when she found out they were going to Hürrem and Hürrem and Nigar's surprised faces when they see her there. But it's been something she has thought through, something she's been wanting to settle for a while now. Given their previous confrontations, it makes us question what exactly is Mahidevran up to, what will she say and how exactly will she return that ring.

We see that Mahidevran's intentions were, in fact, genuine. She immediately reveals what motivated her and the fact that she starts off right with this is very telling in that she wants to be in good terms for once. There is only that feeling of gratitude. No insults, no vitriol, no acting proud in order to prevail. Can she manage that completely in front of her rival, though? Can she pull it off until the end?

I love the role of the ring here, because it serves as a visual demonstration of Mahidevran's inner conflict. Throughout the whole scene she's fighting with herself, consistently wondering whether to do the right thing or let her utter disdain for Hürrem overcome her once again. The reason she decided to come is something she would never allow herself to disregard: Hürrem's protection of Mustafa means something, because it's something she didn't even consider possible for her enemy to be able to do, something unbelievable. ("Hürrem was the one who protected you?") It's shocking and incredible for Mahidevran and she would certainly feel obliged to return the favor the only way she knows how, with the thing she now has, but Hürrem is desperately searching for. This is the first time she makes an effort to reach out to her, that's why it's not so easy. The person in front of her is unpredictable and fierce and her words could possibly drift Mahidevran away from her purpose, ignoring her attempts of solidarity. For every instance of this, she looks at the ring, as to remind herself why she's there in the first place.

But the same emerald ring in itself, is another aspect of her struggle in this scene. Up to this point, it is not the symbol of the SOW yet, but a symbol of love, a personal current or former gift with a deeply personal value. The ring meant a lot to Mahidevran even before Hürrem and it still holds its meaning, even after the supposed loss. That's why she wanted it so much after all, would she just willingly let go of it despite of the reason? Even after all these years, it was a chance for her to maintain hope in SS's love, to show to herself that she holds a place in SS's heart anyway. If she gives it to Hürrem, no matter how much she wants to, wouldn't it mean defeat? Wouldn't it mean her symbolically letting Hürrem to Süleiman's love permanently? Is it something Mahidevran can afford? She can't put her finger on it throughout the entirety of their conversation here and it shows. She knows she has to return that ring, but doesn't really know how, hence her diverting the conversation to a different topic entirely after she thanked her for Mustafa:

Mahidevran clearly wants to work her way until she reaches the desired moment, for she has to find out how is she gonna tell her that she has the ring, let alone give it back. She's still figuring out what to say, since she's doing something she's never done before.

And here come her "obstacles" that create and empower her inner conflict:

Don't get me wrong, I completely understand Hürrem's defences here. It's obvious she would put up that attitude to the person who would principally never miss a chance to humiliate her. How could she predict a peaceful visit from the one she forcefully had to ask forgiveness from, who derides her at every turn, who, not three episodes ago, gave a present to her son, but then appeared in front of her and "revealed the whole facade"? No way. It's a mask she has to put, to act high and mighty, to show she's the favored one his majesty shall consistently visit, to make it clear she shall always have that over Mahidevran. She's used to it already, treating it as something she needs to do during their every encounter.

But these same words, along with Hürrem telling her she will invite her for a şerbet on the terrace, put Mahidevran in a rocky position and make her doubt her first-try decision more and more. The moment she hears Hürrem mention Süleiman and all her lines one after another let her slowly "snap back into reality", be who she's always been for Hürrem, creating a neat parallel between both of them that seals the whole scene: with how Hürrem was like here, Mahidevran also saw her as she always had, leaving all existing contradictions behind. Because after Mustafa told her what her rival did, she saw a new side of Hürrem that she had never shown in front of her. And she acted accordingly, by attempting this very thing in the first place. Hürrem could've also witnessed Mahidevran's "weird" behavior, however the only thing she could do is act in utter disbelief - expecting another tricky "facade" and "preparing" herself with words just in case.

With the way the confrontation develops, they both get the confirmations they seemed to have wanted, setting up and then discarding the theme of a possible change, especially in Mahidevran's eyes. Hürrem is still the same Hürrem she's always known and it's not worth the try anymore. Conversely, Hürrem makes of this a usual conversation between them, with Mahidevran later giving her the hint that she has the ring to "call out" the symbol Hürrem thinks it is. ("That ring is my soul. It would harm anyone but me." - "If that ring is your soul, don't drop it. They will trample it underfoot.") Hürrem realizes the intention eventually, but it was too late and the probability for Mahidevran to ever return it to her is still out of the question.

And Mahidevran leaves without doing anything, with Hürrem figuring out the ring is in Mahidevran's hands. This way the dynamic between them stays the same.

This scene feels incredibly telling of Mahidevran's character development. There is a chance to let go of what the ring entails at the moment (her love for SS), but the feelings she has for both Süleiman and Hürrem render it impossible so far. She couldn't let go of it all, even for a moment, as of yet. But I find admirable and neat that she was willing to try it at this point of the show, it's just that it would still take her a long way to go to get there. She will get there, but not yet. Not from the first try.

[laequiem]

Mal d’amour - Part 5

/5 times the High King of Elfhame missed his exiled wife + 1 time she had enough.

The package is there, on the front porch, but it clearly was not delivered by the postal service. There is no address, just a name: her name in elegant cursive letters. The same handwriting that is on the note she keeps on her nightstand.

Cardan’s.

read on ao3 • masterlist • part 1 • part 2 • part 3 • part 4 • last part

Cardan

It was already dark when I woke up from my dream and gave the package to Liliver. Due to mortals’ strange habit of living during the day, we have to wait the entire night before one of the spies can deliver the package. 

Needless to say, I do not pay much attention to the various meetings and meals I attend during the night. I doubt courtiers notice, given my usual blasé attitude. 

My participation in today’s revel consists mostly of drinking wine and asking the servants for more wine. Whenever someone approaches me for requests or conversation, I reply so shortly that they leave quickly. Nearing sunrise, the Ghost approaches and tells me the package is on its way.

I try to look like I am at least enjoying the revel in front of me. My tail is curled around my calf to prevent it from lashing wildly and betraying my nervousness. My fingers drum absentmindedly on the armrests of the throne as I stare distantly at nothing.

I only last half an hour after the Ghost’s appearance before I retreat from the throne room. 

The Bomb

The air of Portland, Maine stinks of iron and gasoline. Nothing like the mossy and flowery scent of Elfhame. Liliver lifts her scarf over her glamoured face, hoping the fabric will filter some of the iron out. It doesn't work, not really, but at least she will not be staying here for long.

High King Cardan has assigned her the task of delivering a package, as if her talents weren't better used elsewhere. She had agreed, or course—money is money. Plus, she hopes to sneak a glimpse of Jude and assess how her friend is doing. 

Ever since she left, she has been fighting the urge to peek at the contents of the package. It is about the size and weight of a dinner plate and is delicately wrapped in dark green fabric. Seeing how the King hid the thing, it must be quite valuable.

From the rooftop of the building opposite Vivienne Duarte’s apartment, Liliver can see Jude. She is sprawled on an old couch, numbly looking at some square box with moving images. She seems to be the only person in the small house right now—the perfect moment to deliver the package. The High King has made it clear that Jude has to be seen receiving it. Liliver cannot blame him for being careful. 

She makes her way across the street, climbing the stairs as quietly as she can. After placing the box on the floor, she presses the button next to the door and knocks twice. She then jumps to the roof of the adjacent building, making sure she has a good view of the door.

And then she waits.

Jude

Jude groans as she gets up from her spot on the couch for the first time since waking up this morning. Vivi left for work hours ago. Usually, she tells Jude when she is expecting a delivery. Maybe the person rang the wrong doorbell. Still, Jude makes her way to the front door. A peek through the peephole reveals that nobody is on the other side. 

It’s been 30 seconds, they better not have put one of those “sorry we missed you!” notices or else she swears—

The package is there, on the front porch, but it clearly was not delivered by the postal service. There is no address, just a name: her name in elegant cursive letters. The same handwriting that is on the note she keeps on her nightstand. 

Cardan’s.

Her chest tightens and she takes a deep breath. Is this hope or fear? It is her first time hearing from Cardan in more than six months. Part of her hopes that he will revoke her banishment and ask her to come back, but why would he? He is finally free to rule the kingdom by himself and be as cruel and unhinged as he wants to be.

The package looks out of place here, everything from the dried flowers used to decorate it to its delicate grassy smell scream Faerieland.

Jude closes the door behind her as she brings the package inside, certain that someone is out there watching her. She won’t give them the satisfaction of seeing her reaction. She shoves the clutter off the coffee table and puts the package on it as she sits on the couch once again.

For a few minutes, she just stares at it, wondering if it isn’t better to just throw it out. 

Like he threw me out, she hears the intrusive thought over the roaring in her head, loud and unwelcome. 

She clenches her jaw, then undoes the strings tying the fabric together. Inside is a nicely carved wooden box topped by a folded piece of paper. She picks up the piece of paper and unfolds it. Her hands are shaking slightly, with fear or rage she does not know. 

When she reads it, however, the rage takes over.

I miss you.

Your devoted servant,

Cardan

Jude crumples the piece of paper in her hand and lets it fall to the floor. She opens the box and immediately sees red. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” she screams to herself as she picks up the crown, its jewels sparkling in the artificial light of Vivienne’s apartment.

She has never seen it before. Cardan either found it deep in the vault or he had it made only to send it to her as a sick joke. In a fit of rage, she throws the crown against the wall and storms to her room. 

Her clothes are scattered everywhere, some of them lying on her air mattress for what might have been weeks. She picks out the darkest, most flexible clothes, then reaches under her mattress for Nightfell.

If it’s trouble he’s after, he’ll find her. 

Cardan

“I almost feel bad, Your Majesty,” the Roach says, “pay up.”

I knew trying to sleep was useless, so I headed for the Court of Shadow headquarters instead, where I have been playing cards with the Roach and the Ghost for hours now.

“I hope you’re not cheating,” the Ghost replies, “the punishment could be deadly.”

I lost every single game.

I am not paying enough attention to win.

The cards in my hands are blurry, their numbers and designs utterly meaningless. 

All I can think about is Jude.

Jude, opening my package and packing her things to come back here. 

Jude, opening my package and immediately throwing it out. 

Jude, immediately throwing the package out without looking inside.

This woman has occupied my every thought for years, and I still cannot predict her moves. She is a puzzle, a challenge I want to lose myself in solving. All I can hope for is that she opened it, at least. 

My last letter. My last gift. My last chance.

If this is all the time I had with her, I royally (urgh) fucked up. 

The Roach gathers the jewels from the middle of the table and brings them to his side.

I discard my hand and reach out to shuffle the deck when his attention snaps to the door, to the small form who just entered.

Immediately, I get up and walk to meet the Bomb.

“Did you find her?” I ask

“Yes,” she says, “She picked it up. I could not confirm that she opened it, but she brought it inside.”

“How is she?” I cannot stop the questions from pouring out of me.

“She looks… different,” she frowns.

I understand she is trying to find a way to phrase it without upsetting me. I do not even know what would upset me more, her being happy in the Mortal Realm, or her being miserable. 

“I see,” I sigh, “Thank you.”

The words feel wrong coming from me—yet they seem right in the moment. I do not know if I have ever thanked someone before. But these people, Jude’s spies, have been dealing with me for the last half-year. They have seen me at my lowest. I cannot go much lower than crying after a particularly gruesome nightmare.

I did not tell them this was my last time reaching out to Jude. From the look of pity in the Bomb’s eyes, she knows. I can’t stand it. I walk past her and leave the Court of Shadows.

The hallways are almost empty as I make my way to the cellars. The guards stand straighter as I pass the various rooms, but none of them stop me or try to talk to me. 

When I get to the cellars, I grab the worst bottle I can find. I wish the royal cellars had some really low quality alcohol—a budding brewer’s first try, anything that would taste as bad as I feel—but even the worst of the collection is still good. I drink the whole bottle.

Then another.

I drink until I forget.

Forget the responsibilities, the kingdom resting on my unworthy shoulders.

I try to forget about Jude, but I black out before I can.

[neellok]

Title: The Price of Revenge

Pairing: Ichimaru Gin/Kurosaki Ichigo

Ichimaru Gin wondered how annoyed the Captain-Commander would be if he murdered the Gatekeeper of the West, Ikkanzaka Jidanbo. Surely, Gin would only receive a slap on the wrist or a lecture. His ever present smile widened at the thought of dispatching the useless Shinigami. Ikkanzaka had served as a gatekeeper for over three hundred years. In that time his skills had declined and so had his mind.

“Who’s that?” the leader of the Ryoka demanded.

“Captain of the Third Division, Ichimaru Gin.”

Gin’s gaze shot to the black cat near the woman’s feet. Hm. Shihoin Yoruichi had returned to Soul Society. That meant Urahara Kisuke was involved. Did Kurosaki Isshin know that Urahara was making a move?

“Oh, this isn’t good,” Gin said dismissing them. They weren’t important right now. Shinigami that could not follow orders were useless to his cause. His expert gaze noticed the wounds that were not present on the gatekeeper. He had received reports from the underground that the Ryoka attacked Ikkanzaka and yet he wasn’t injured. Not a drop had been spilled on either side.

Unacceptable. A gatekeeper that failed in his duty deserved death. Gin immediately retaliated. Gin’s smile remained present as copious amount of blood burst from the gaping wound on Ikkanzaka’s arm. The Shinigami fell to his knees in a parody of surrender and allegiance as the heavy gate dropped onto his shoulders.

“Jidanbo!”

Gin cocked his head at the response. The Ryoka still hadn’t done anything. interesting. He’d expected her to attack him. She hadn’t moved. He mentally sneered. She couldn’t even break into Soul Society properly. What had Urahara taught her?

“A guardian of gates isn’t supposed to open those gates,” Gin lectured. The Ryoka had been able to cause some distraction from his encroaching plans, but not enough. They were still too weak to catch the attention of Aizen and the rest of the Gotei 13. Gin would not let them pass.

“I lost,” Ikkanzaka muttered. “I have to open the gate when I lose.”

Gin almost frowned. The Captain-Commander had made a very poor decision in placing Ikkanzaka in charge of guarding the gate. Only a coward would live with that mentality. Every day in Rukongai was a fight to the death. Those strong enough to seize power and wield it survived. Those too weak to guard their precious possessions deserved to die.

“What’re ya sayin’?” Gin walked until he was three feet from his target. He wanted the Shinigami to feel the pressure of his failure and the result of his cowardice. “When a gatekeeper loses… it means death,” Gin said with a wicked smirk.

He loved the terror that followed.

The woman Ryoka finally attacked. Their swords clashed in harmony. Gin stared into her enraged brown eyes. She didn’t protect herself. She attacked to defend someone else. Her action was predictable though the strength of her Reiatsu surprised him. It felt like drowning in a waterfall. Gin easily shoved her away after the first few seconds of surprise vanished.

“I-Ichigo!” Shihoin yelled.

Ichigo. Kurosaki Ichigo. Hoh. So this was Isshin’s daughter. He cocked his head at the spitfire in front of him. She’d finally become interesting.

-

Gin dispatched two hollows with ease as he waited for Kurosaki Isshin, formerly Shiba Isshin, to show. He should have known the annoying former captain would be late. He flung off the dark blood and sheathed Shinso.

“Ichimaru,” Kurosaki acknowledged when he slipped through the shadows of the trees. He leaned against a tree trunk in his old uniform. He must have left his gigai at home.

He looked exhausted, Gin noted. Shiba Isshin used to smile as much as he did. It was strange to see the man without it.

“Ya said ya wanted ta talk,” Gin prompted when he remained silent. He was here on an unofficial mission. He wasn’t worried that Aizen or anyone else would find out he took an unsanctioned trip to the human world. No one paid attention to something like that anymore. Not since Shiba Isshin died.

“Masaki’s dead,” Kurosaki muttered. Sharp brown eyes cut into him as Kurosaki watched his reaction. “Aizen killed her.”

Gin froze. No one in Soul Society suspected Aizen. Aizen was considered the golden child. “Tha’s an interestin’ theory.” He wouldn’t give up his shields. There was a reason why he was still playing this dangerous game.

“It’s not a theory!” Kurosaki bellowed. “I know. I-I knew there was something wrong with him in Soul Society. Why do you think I got out of there?”

“Thought ya found yer soulmate,” Gin replied with a nonchalant shrug.

Kurosaki stared at him with disbelief. “Kaien. Kaien knew. He’d been working for centuries to find proof.”

Gin felt his Zanpakuto sing for Aizen’s blood. “Did he find it?”

“I-I don’t know. I think so. Maybe.” Kurosaki rubbed the back of his neck as his grief seemed to multiply. “Either way, I know that Aizen sent Grand Fischer after Ichigo,” Kurosaki visibly panicked at the slip. “My wife.”

His wife’s name was Masaki. Who was Ichigo? “What do ya want me ta do ‘bout it?”

“You were his lieutenant. You know him.”

He wanted revenge. Gin forced the thought away when he realized that Kurosaki was trying to form a rapport with him. Anger flared as he looked at the former Shinigami. Kurosaki was nothing like him. Gin sought to destroy Aizen, Kurosaki ran. Coward.

Gin wasn’t in love with Rangiku; Rangiku belonged to him. He protected everything that was his.

“So…”

“Destroy him,” Kurosaki ordered. His returning Reiatsu flared to life as his anger grew. “Destroy everything that he ever touched.”

“Ya offerin’ ta help, cuz I don’t take orders.”

He sighed in relief and leaned more heavily against the tree as if it was the only thing keeping him standing. “Yes.”

Gin smile turned lethal. Kurosaki thought they were equals. It was time to rid him of that notion. “I’m not gonna do it fer free, ya understand. Ya see, this plan puts me in danger, while ya get ta live the easy life.”

Kurosaki’s expression never changed. As if he expected the response. Che. Kurosaki had always been more observant that he gave him credit for. “Anything.”

"Accepted."

-

“What the hell are you doing?” Ichigo demanded, pointing her Zanpakuto at him.

Gin gritted his teeth at the familiar words. Aizen tried to murder his soulmate. The annoyance he’d felt a few moments earlier vanished as cold, calculating rage took over. Gin’s plan crumbled to ashes. Aizen would not survive the day.

“Hah! You’re a funny kid,” Gin flippantly said, effectively keeping his murderous intentions out of his voice.

“You?” Ichigo asked after a few seconds of dumbfounded silence.

Gin placed a finger over his smiling lips. Their meeting had already exposed too much. Gin would not allow Aizen to discover that he found his soulmate. Not after everything Aizen had taken from him.

“Forget it Ichigo! We’ll retreat for now,” Shihoin ordered.

Gin didn’t trust her to protect his soulmate. However, he refused to allow Ichigo entrance into Seireitei. The Captain-Commander would order the other captains and lieutenants to stop her. Gin would be too busy killing Aizen to protect her.

“Wait! Where are you going?”

Gin walked away. He ignored the desperate pleas of his soulmate even though he wanted to claim her and never leave her side. Kurosaki Ichigo eldest daughter of Kurosaki Isshin. Gin knew exactly what he would order Kurosaki to give him once Aizen was dead. His daughter.

Gin whirled around and drew his Zanpakuto. Her confused and hurt expression pierced him. He ignored the pain and concentrated on protecting her the only way he could—keeping her away from him. He thrust his Zanpakuto toward Ikkanzaka. “Shoot to kill, Shinso.”

The blast of wind threw Ichigo and Ikkanzaka through the open gate and into the street of Rukongai. The gate slammed shut. Gin’s smile slipped as he discarded his old plans and constructed new ones. His blue gaze locked onto the gate that separated him from Ichigo.

Never again. Ichigo would never leave his side again. He would make sure of it.

[dreamingofmilk]

Sugar Babe Chapter 2

Synopsis: You and Erik prepare for your upcoming trip.

Word Count: 2,880

Warnings: cursing, mild smut

Chapter 1

Erik smiled brightly as soon as the words left your lips. A small groan slipped out from between them, so fleeting you almost didn’t catch it.

“Never thought it would turn me on to hear that.” He grabbed your hand and made his way to the jewelry store that was located next to his suit shop in the mall. 

You balked immediately, “What are you doing? We have to get your suits. Then we have t-” Erik cut you off. 

“Yeah we will get them in a sec. First we have to get you an engagement ring and two wedding bands for us to wear during the trip.” Erik spoke quietly to the jeweler behind the glass, he held up your fingers for the man to size. 

“Uhhhh bet you like that one.” Erik pointed at the one ring that you had your eye on. It freaked you out that Eric always knew exactly what you wanted. Were you that predictable, or was he just that good?

“Very good choices sir, I can have everything prepared for you by tomorrow.”

Erik shook his head, his body instinctively straightening. You knew that stance very well. This was the Erik that appeared during board meetings and negotiations. He was direct, but incredibly intimidating. Anytime this side of Erik showed up he always got what he wanted. 

Erik waved his hand at the clerk, “I need these done within the next 6 hours. Make any additional charges necessary. Money is no object.” 

The clerk cleared his throat, “Sir, you must know how busy we can be, we have other orders with higher priority at the moment. I cannot keep that timeline.”

Erik walked closer to the clerk, leaning over the counter slightly. You couldn’t see his face, but you knew the exact look he was giving the man behind the counter. Eyes scanning, looking for every weak spot they could find, anything they could exploit or bend to his will. Mouth smirking, like he already knew he won, but was enjoying the game. 

You hated to admit it, but this Erik was your favorite. There was something so sexy about a man who could always get what he wanted. Erik was an incredibly smart man, but a lot of people underestimated his intelligence just the same. The man was a certified genius, both in his field, and with reading people as well. There’s never been a negotiation that didn’t go in his favor. He always knew what to say or do to get the outcome he wanted. And his ability to read people and their deepest desires helped tremendously. 

“Consider this order your highest priority. Make any charges necessary. I will be back here in 6 hours and if the rings are not complete I will take my business to someone who can satisfy my time requirements.”

And there was the voice. Sharp, yet smooth. Light enough that anyone around him wouldn’t think anything of it, but the clerk definitely knew this was a threat, one that was anything but empty. You knew Erik well enough to know that he would switch stores just to prove a point. And you also knew there was no way the clerk was going to turn down an order with that many zeros in it.

The clerk lowered his head slightly, his defeat clear as day. Erik raised his chin, the smirk only widening as he reveled in his victory. 

“My apologies, sir. I will ensure your order is ready within the allotted time. We always appreciate your business.”

Erik nodded, “Thank you.” And sauntered out of the store without another word. You gave the clerk an apologetic glance as you followed him out.

Once you passed the threshold, you grabbed Erik’s wrist. “Was that really necessary? I could have just picked up the rings tomorrow.”

Erik grabbed your shoulders, leaning down so his eyes were level with yours. “Y/N, what do you think that man was telling me when he said we’d have to wait until tomorrow?”

You hesitated, but eventually spoke your mind. “That we would have to wait our turn like everyone else.”

He tsked, brushing your hair away from your face. “That’s not quite right. You have to read between the lines. Do you think he would have said the same thing if a celebrity or politician made the exact same order at the exact same time?”

You shook your head, “Of course not, but that’s different. They’re important.”

“And are we not important?” Erik raised an eyebrow, his eyes trapping yours. “Are you not important?” The sunlight hit them perfectly, and they looked like pools of molten chocolate, rich and smooth. Erik blinked slowly and the spell over you dissipated. 

“That’s what they want you to think. That you are not as important as those people, but why not? I’m just as rich, if not more, and just as famous. But because I don’t play ball or rap he was underestimating me, and all I did was call his bluff. I can’t stand being underestimated.”

You shook your head in disbelief, but you couldn’t keep the grin off your face if you tried. “Everything isn’t a board meeting Erik.”

Erik laughed, stroking your cheek once more before straightening. “Life is one big board meeting sweetheart. Especially as a black man.” He held his hand out for you. “Now let’s finish up here.”

The two of you made your way to the suit store where Erik picked up his suits. He eyed you as you waited for the suits to come out. 

“What?” You asked him. Erik smiled. 

“I know you wanted to spend the next two days helping me prepare for the trip, but now I need you to prepare for the trip as well.” 

“What do I need to prepare for? I just have to pack a bag. And I’m good.” You respond. 

“Well that would be true if you were traveling as my assistant but you’re not. You’re joining me as my wife. And my wife needs to do a good bit of things before we leave for the trip.” Erik said as he stepped closer to you. 

“Like what?” You asked incredulously. 

“I really don’t want to argue with you, I just need it done.” His voice was deep as he warned you. 

You rolled your eyes before shrugging. 

“Fine I won’t argue. What do I need to do before this trip?”

Erik grabbed your chin lightly, raising your eyes to meet his. His voice was deep and rough as he spoke. “Good girl, was that so hard? Roll your eyes at me again and I’ll give you a reason to roll them to the back of your head.”

It took a few seconds for what he said to register, but once it did, your cheeks burned and you looked down at the floor, anywhere to not see the smug smirk he was giving you. Erik has always been a bit flirty, but this was a different level altogether. Your entire body clenched and released from his words alone.  

Erik paid no mind to your reaction. “I need you to go get your nails done. Fingers and toes. Make it a spa day, facial, hair, whatever else you want. Just something so you don’t look so damn stressed like you always do.” You start to interrupt him, but the look on his face tells you he’s not finished yet. 

“After we pick up the suits we can go get new luggage, you can’t keep using the same beat up duffle bag for business trips like this. Then we have to go get you some new clothes.”

“What’s wrong with my clothes?!” You shriek, Erik escorts you out of the store and towards the store he wants to buy the luggage from. 

“Nothing babygirl. You look great every day you come to work as my assistant, but for the last time you will be my wife. So you must dress like my wife.”

“And how does your wife dress Erik?” You roll your neck giving him the most attitude you could conjure. Erik smiled slowly backing you into a corner of the mall. His arms blocking you in as his lips brushed against your ear.

“You’re going to learn to cut the attitude baby girl. I’m not with it.” 

You smiled innocently at him. 

“And you’ve already learned that that’s not going to happen.” You pat his cheek gently and start to walk away. He grabs your hand and pulls you back to him, his eyes running over your form. 

“Alright you wanna be boss baby, I’ll play along for a while. That’s okay but these things are non negotiable for people to truly believe that you are my wife. It’s just a few new clothes.” Erik said. 

“Yeah! And a spa day that I can’t afford!” You shout. 

Erik chuckled and pulled out his wallet showing you the copious amounts of cash he had. 

“We're going to the luggage spot together, I’mma pay for that. You already have my Amex card for the spa day and we are about to get you some new clothes. Stop acting like I don’t take care of mines.” Erik scoffed and walked ahead of you rounding the corner for the luggage store. 

You rolled your eyes and followed him, this day was not shaping up at all how you imagined it to be. 

————

The next two days were a whirlwind. And it just could not and would not slow down. You were definitely freaking out because leaving your job to Gina was not your first pick and you let Erik know that. 

He simply smiled and flicked your nose, cutely I might add, and told you not to worry. 

Now the big bad wolf was on the phone with investors and he had to be his usual business self hours before your flight. Seeing business Erik pacing in your living room littered with clothes and suitcases, just stressed you out further. He looked like he didn’t belong, as if he was some model fresh out of one of your discarded magazines. 

But the anger he spoke on the phone with sent you spiraling. You loved hearing Erik speak to investors, they always held such contempt for you on the phone but cowered in fear when Erik got wind of how they spoke to you. 

You were supposed to be packing and he was supposed to be telling you what to pack from the loads of new clothes he bought you. But how could you focus with this Adonis standing in front of you. An Adonis that you are supposed to pretend to be married to. 

You worried constantly the last two days that no one with two semi working eyes would believe that he would marry you. 

“Why are you staring at me?” Erik smirked at you as he hung up his phone. He licked his lips as he checked you out. 

“No reason. Okay big reason. There is no way anyone is going to believe that we are married. I mean neither of us even knows what a married couple acts like.”

Erik cocked his head as he stared at you. 

“Okay so turn on YouTube so we can learn to be a married couple. The fuck you talking about?” Erik kisses his teeth and walks to your half empty suitcase. He continued placing your newly bought folded clothes into the new Louis Vuitton suitcase he bought you. 

“I’m just saying look at you! Erik, you look amazing and put together no matter what happens. You handle everything so quickly and effectively. You’re so smart and capable of running this company. Who in their right mind would look at you and then see me and believe that we are together and have been married for the past three years? I’ll tell you. No one.”

Erik’s jaw clenched as he watched you ramble off. 

“Honestly this right here is why I never approached you. I knew you well enough that you would pull some shit like this. That you would self sabotage because of some bullshit that society tells you.” Erik continued packing up another suitcase. 

“I chose you because I trust you more than anyone else with company rules and policies. You’ve been in charge of so many projects because I know you have the leadership and management skills to get them done. I chose you to be my wife because your the smartest person I know and you look DAMN good in them fucking pencil skirts you wear. And I’ll be damned if you or anyone else tells me who should or should not be my wife.” He slammed your second suitcase shut and moved on to your carry on bag.

“I can pack my own carry on.” You stood up slowly and approached him with your carry on items to put in the bag. “I didn’t mean to make you upset. It’s just that others aren’t like you.”

“Yeah and they aren’t the CEO. I am.” He grabbed your hand as you finished packing your carry on. “The only thing that will alert people into knowing that we aren’t actually together is if you believe that we can’t.” He pulled you close to him, his heat and scent intoxicating. “Do I need to convince you that we can be together? That I want you?”

Yes. 

Your knees buckled as he placed a soft kiss on your cheek then below your ear. 

“No.” You place your hand on his chest and backed up.

Erik ran his gaze over you and bit his lip. He reached out to pull your body flush against his. His hands roamed your body freely, relishing in how you felt against him.

“You’re a terrible liar Y/N.” And with that he leaned down to run his tongue along the sweet spot on your neck. Then started sucking on your pulse point. A shiver ran down your spine. You couldn’t hide your moan if you tried, the man’s mouth was gifted. 

“Fuck.” You whimpered. Just as your knees were about to give out he pulled away and looked into your eyes, his hands sliding down your back to grab your ass.

“Y/N, you really have no idea how much I want you. If you were actually mine… the things I’d do to that fine ass body.” He shook his head, and you felt the rumble in his chest as he groaned, low and deep.  “You’re not ready for that conversation. Your scary ass couldn’t handle it.”

You bristled at the jab instinctively, your smart mouth couldn’t be contained. “I can handle anything Erik, you couldn’t handle me.”

Erik laughed, pulling you closer. “Is that right?”

“Damn right it is.” You crossed your arms, bringing your face in as close to his as you could.

He rubbed his beard, then smirked. “I already told you I wasn’t going to put up with your attitude sweetheart. You’ve been talking out the side of your neck all day today. It’s time I put that ass in check. Let you get a taste of what you’re dealing with since you think I’m playing games with you.”

In the blink of an eye Erik turned you around and pushed you against the wall, your hands trapped in one of his above your head. He pushed into your body from behind, his hips lined up perfectly with yours. You could feel the hard bulge against your cheeks. Erik grabbed your hip with his free hand and gripped just hard enough to make you gasp. His lips moved to your ear and he whispered some of the dirtiest stuff you’ve ever heard.

“Think I can’t handle you huh? Baby girl you have no idea how many times I’ve thought about handling your thick ass. My mouth salivates at the thought of putting you in check. If you weren’t so damn scary I’d be balls deep in you right now. I’d pick your little bratty ass up and sit you on my dick until you fix your attitude. Keep playing with me and you’re gonna get yourself into some shit you aren’t ready for. I really don’t mind showing my wife that I need her.” He groaned as you shivered against him, your body responding to his words. 

“Stop Erik. I need to get some sleep before the flight. Thank you for packing my bags for me, but I have a lot of stuff to get done and you’re distracting me.” You hoped he didn’t notice the tremor in your voice or how your body kept pushing back into him.

He pulled away, taking the heat of his body with him. “Okay, I’ll let you off the hook this time. Just make sure you come as the wife I know you can be. My partner.” He winks at you and places a kiss on your cheek. “Let it be known though if you were mine…. I’d tear that ass up every night of this trip. I’ll see you tomorrow” He backed away from you while shaking his head. He opened your apartment door and walked out while shouting. “My wife fine as fuck!”

Well fuck, what could you possibly say to that?

Taglist:

@aislinnsilver​ @wawakanda-btch​ @marvelmaree​ @chaneajoyyy​ @ljstraightnochaser @raysunshine78​ @fdwrites @soufcakmistress​ @girlsneedlovingfanfics​ @toniilaney​

[recollins]

Doctor’s Doctor (Spencer Reid x Reader)

Request: Could you do a Reid x reader where he has a secret significant other who is a surgeon or doctor? Pairing: Spencer x Neutral Reader Length: 4,568 Contains: Fluff, angst if you squint Warnings: None A/N: I have exactly no knowledge of medical procedures or the actual inner workings of a hospital. All of my knowledge for this was based off of my Scrubs obsession from like 2005 and harassing my CNA sister. Do not hold me to accuracy on any of it. Masterlist

--

Spencer was a notorious worrier. There was no denying that, no matter how much he tried to do so. From the amount of germs gathered during his commute to and from work, to the reliability of your alarm system that had gone out on more than one occasion, he always had something nagging at the back of his conscience.

After almost six months with your boyfriend, you’d grown used to his constant concerns. Overall, they didn’t bother you, despite his predictable worry that it did. Honestly, you found it endearing. You’d never really had anyone take an interest on your wellbeing the way he did, and it was just another reason to love him.

Though he wouldn’t admit it, you knew it stemmed from what he saw on the cases he faced. He’d tell you about the better cases, the ones they’d closed with minimal loss or the ones that hadn’t ended as badly as it could’ve, but he never spoke about the ones that didn’t have a reasonably decent ending. The ones that put the heavy, unyielding sadness on his shoulders that took his smile for days. The ones that woke him screaming in the middle of the night, leaving his bright golden eyes dull and haunted until you finally managed to lull him back to sleep.

He wouldn’t speak of them, but you could put the pieces together with the measures he started to implement into your life. When you’d first started dating, your own safety wasn’t something you ever really took into consideration, most evident by your old garage door.

Your house was pretty old – which is how you’d gotten such a good deal on it – and as you weren’t much of a do-it-yourself kind of person, you’d never put much effort into updating or remodeling the more outdated parts of your home. Most notably, your garage door was still the original one installed in the late 60’s. It was so old it wasn’t even automated; heck, it didn’t even actually lock. Since you had to manually open and close it, if you were in a hurry you’d just leave it open when you went to work.

Spencer nearly had a heart attack when he’d first found out.

He’d then hired a company to install a brand new door – complete with securing locks and an entry keypad – and spent an entire weekend testing and re-testing, ensuring you were safe. Ensuring you wouldn’t meet the same fate you guessed others had met on his last case.

“Double-check that it shuts all the way, and doesn’t go back up before you leave,” he’d told you numerous times, demonstrating exactly how to do it over and over again.  “Always watch when it shuts to make sure no one slips inside.”

Two months ago he’d replaced the GPS in your car, explaining the model you’d had was susceptible to being hacked. That one you hadn’t fully understood – so what if someone hacked it? All they’d get are some addresses you’d gone to.

“What are they going to do with that, Spence? Figure out I spend way too much time at Target?”

You’d asked it to joke with him, trying to get a smile on his face for the first time that day. Though he tried to turn away before it showed, you caught the ache of regret in his gaze before he dropped it to the ground.

“Yes,” was all he had managed to force out, but it was all you needed to hear to understand why he was so worried. Since then, you didn’t question him. Though he couldn’t take back what had happened to the victims his team couldn’t save, he could keep it from happening to you. Worrying over your safety helped alleviate some of the guilt and sorrow that had taken up permanent residence inside him, you knew that much.

If it eased Spencer’s mind, it was worth the constant concern he showered you with. That’s what you repeated to yourself as, for the third time that week, you set off your own alarm trying to get into your house at just a little past two in the morning.

Cursing under your breath, you finally got the damn door open and rushed to the keypad on the wall, punching in the code Spencer had set up for you. Unsurprisingly, you got it wrong. He’d picked a completely random string of numbers, reminding you how easy it was to guess someone’s password or code because they made it personal.  

There was only about fifteen seconds left before the system would alert the company, and that was the last thing you needed right now. Dropping everything in your arms to the floor, you jammed in the next six numbers you thought it was .

ERROR – WRONG CODE

“For the absolute love of fuck,” you snarled, going for another attempt. Your phone was ringing before you’d even hit the third number. With a tired sigh you propped the phone on your ear and muttered out a weary, “hello again.”

“Hi, this is Macy from ADT. We see your alarm was triggered and we were calling to ensure you were alright.”

“Yes, I’m fine,” you assured, still jamming numbers. Your phone beeped, and a quick glance confirmed Spencer was trying to reach you. “My boyfriend set up my passcode so well that even I can’t crack it.”

Macy chuckled on the other end and quickly ran through the security questions (that thankfully you’d set up) and in a few minutes the alarm silenced. Spencer had already attempted calling another two times, and if you didn’t hurry he’d show up there himself. Not that you didn’t want to see him, but you both were in desperate need of sleep with how hectic your work had been lately.

“Would you like to change your passcode?” Macy offered, and though it was tempting, you knew Spencer would be upset.

“No, it’s fine. Thanks so much,” you rushed, as Spencer called for the fifth time. You quickly accepted the call and said instantly, “I’m fine, Spence. I’m perfectly fine.”

On the other end of the phone you heard him give a sigh of relief, and you smiled just a bit. His care always touched you and settled the irritation. You’d never been in a relationship with someone who cared about you as much as you did them, and despite the annoyance you really did love how much he cared.

“I’m sorry,” he told you instantly, his voice sounding rough with sleep. “I know this happens a lot –“

“It’s fine, sweetheart,” you promised, scooping up your discarded things from the floor and shuffling yourself into the kitchen, dumping them all onto the counter now. “I’m sorry I woke you up again.”

It was a real pain, having the company call your emergency contact every time this happened. But, just like all the other occasions, Spencer assured immediately, “don’t be. I’d rather be woken by a false alarm than by hearing you were hurt.”

The smile toying on your face couldn’t be helped, and you both sat in warm silence for a few moments. As much as you’d like to talk with your boyfriend – especially after the chaotic night at the hospital you’d just had – you knew how exhausted he had to be.

“You should be sleeping,” you murmured after a few more moments. When he didn’t respond at first, you thought he’d actually fallen asleep. And then, in the background, you heard the sound of someone crying. “Spencer?”

“It’s – that’s Henry,” he mumbled as you heard him get up. You could just picture him rubbing at his eyes as he yawned and explained, “Will and JJ wanted some time alone so I took him for the night. I… think he might be getting sick.”

Your eyes narrowed as you leaned back against the counter. Sure, you weren’t a profiler, but you knew your boyfriend, and you knew that tone of voice. That was his ‘knee-deep in the pit of worry’ voice. The only person he was more protective of than you was his godson.

“You were already awake when ADT called, weren’t you?” He didn’t answer immediately and that confirmed your suspicion. You let out a heavy sigh as you chastised, “Spencer. You just got back from a case and you’ve been up for almost twenty-four hours –”

“He had a fever when I put him to bed,” he defended as you heard him open the door.

“It’s common for children’s temperatures to rise a bit at night,” you reminded him. “And kids his age are prone to colds, which is nothing some sleep can’t help.”

“It wasn’t there this afternoon, though,” he persisted; you could hear the beep of the thermometer, and instead of arguing with him (which you’d learned was a fruitless edeaver not even an hour into your first date) you stayed quiet until you heard it beep again.

“What’s his temp?” you prompted; there was no reply. “Spencer.”

“99.9,” he mumbled. “But that’s higher than it was an hour ago –“

“Does he have any other symptoms?” Again, there was silence. If you could’ve reached through the phone to smack him you would’ve. “Spencer –“

“He didn’t eat as much at dinner,” he finally replied, and you heard him put a hand over the phone as he asked softly, “Henry, does anything hurt?”

There was a tearfully mumbled no and you stifled a sigh, dropping your head back to stare at the ceiling. This man was gonna worry himself to death before he even reached forty. “Okay, Spence. Give him some Tylenol and get him to drink some water. If there are no other symptoms present, he probably just has a cold. It could even be allergies, and he’s just uncomfortable.”

He was quiet at first; you heard him walking down the hall, and then the snap of a light. A moment later he was rifling through what you assumed to be a medicine cabinet as he finally said meekly, “I’m sorry. I know I’m overreacting –“

“Hey. It’s fine. You’re just concerned,” you reminded him gently. “But between the almost back-to-back cases you’ve been working and now me setting off my alarm every other night, you’re wearing yourself out.”

Spencer was quiet again, and you knew him well enough to know he was trying to think of a way to refute what you’d just said. Thankfully though, whether it was the exhaustion or a hint of rationality surfacing, he finally gave a sigh and just mumbled, “I know. You’re right.”

“I’m sorry, what was that?” you teased, playful smile taking over. “I didn’t quite catch that.”

Finally, you got a laugh out of your boyfriend. He chuckled into the phone, and you easily pictured the bright, toothy grin he was flashing as he huffed, “I know you heard me.”

“Huh, did I? You’ll have to remind me what I heard…”

“I’m not repeating it,” he giggled. You heard Henry’s door opening again and he said a little softer, “I’ve kept you up long enough. I’ll get Henry to sleep and I’ll lay down. I promise.”

“Good. I want you to try and get at least a couple hours of sleep, alright? Doctor’s orders.”

Spencer gave another soft chuckle as he assured, “I’ll give it my best shot, given Henry stays asleep.”

“Alright, baby. I’m gonna go shower and lay down,” you told him, making the executive decision to leave all your crap on the kitchen counter until after you’d slept. “I’ll text you when I’m up. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Spencer murmured, the smile clear in his voice. It was still a relatively new thing to say, and you both got a little giddy every time. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“’Night, Spence.”

Smiling to yourself as you finally hung up, you checked the time and groaned. It was just a few minutes shy of 3am now, and you had to be up in four hours for your next shift. The hospital was ridiculously understaffed; you’d been working overtime just to make sure there was coverage.

Honestly, it was a miracle you’d even gotten to leave tonight. You were pretty sure that if one of the nurses had caught you before you reached the door, you’d still be at work. As much as you wanted to pass out right away, you forced yourself to shower. Finally, ten minutes later you were collapsing into your bed, falling asleep almost the second your head hit the pillow.

Your phone was ringing what felt like only minutes later. Groaning, terrified it was the hospital calling you back in already, you blindly pulled your phone off the charger and dropped it onto the mattress, laying your head on top of it, too tired to hold it up.

“This is Dr. Y/L/N –“

“Y/N,” Spencer’s panicked voice interrupted. “I’m so sorry to wake you, but Henry’s gotten worse.”

It took every shred of self-restraint to hold back the groan of pure frustration. Wearily, you peeled an eye open and peeked at the clock on your nightstand. 3:58am stared back at you. “Spencer it hasn’t even been an hour –“

“He threw up twice, and he says his stomach really hurts,” he rushed, his voice pinched and at least two octaves higher than normal. “His fever’s at 100.8, it’s going up quickly –“

“Hey, okay, okay,” you said quickly, forcing yourself to sit up so you didn’t doze off, the symptoms starting to float around in your groggy head. Escalating fever, nausea, vomiting, stomach pain… those weren’t a good combination. “Alright. Spence, take a breath.”

“Y/N, I’m worried about –“

“I know. But I need you to calm yourself down,” you insisted. Spencer huffed at you – and you rolled your eyes at his stubbornness – but you heard him take in a deep breath and blow it out. “Alright. One more.”

He did as he was told, and when he started speaking again his voice was at least a little less panicked. “I – should I take him to the ER? He’s gotten a lot worse and he’s crying, but I don’t want to worry Will and JJ if I’m just overreacting –“

This time, you were worried he wasn’t, and it’d be quicker to diagnose him instead of having them hole up in the ER. You were already slipping on your sneakers and tugging a sweater out of your closet to throw on over your pajama top. The sweats you had would have to do; you didn’t have the energy to put real pants on.

“Text me their address,” you cut in as you jogged down the steps, swinging through the kitchen to snag your pile of necessities from the counter. At least the laziness paid off; you didn’t have to go hunting for your crap.

You heard the ping of a text as you got into the car, and Spencer’s voice was back a moment later. “Thank you so much. I’m sorry. I know you’re so tired –“

“Spence, really. It’s okay,” you said gently, glancing at the address and typing it in. “My GPS says I’ll be there in about ten minutes. I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.”

“Drive safe,” he told you instantly, and then before hanging up he reminded you, “be sure your garage door shuts all the way.”

The little bit of irritation that had risen up was put out instantly, smile tugging your lips up as you watched the door shut all the way. Despite the exhaustion, you knew this was how Spencer expressed his love. Making sure he and Henry were alright was the least you could do to show him you loved him just as much.

--

Spencer had the door open before you even finished knocking, pulling you into a hug you both really needed. He clung to you, face burying into your neck for several moments before he mumbled,

“I really am sorry, Y/N. You’re so tired and if this is nothing –“

You pulled back and wordlessly cupped his face, pulling him in for a hard kiss. He relaxed under your touch almost instantly, his hand flitting up to wrap around your wrists, keeping your hold on him.

You broke from the kiss just enough to murmur, “Spencer, I don’t know how else to say it, but I’m being completely honest when I say it’s okay. You’re not overreacting. Henry’s worsened and it’s a legitimate cause for concern. You have every right to worry.”

Spencer nodded, his nose brushing yours, thankfully not picking up on the undertones of genuine concern in your voice. You didn’t want to worry him unnecessarily, but you’d seen these symptoms so frequently you were almost certain this was well-deserving of his panic.

You didn’t pull out of Spencer’s hold; you never did. It was an unspoken rule that it was never you that cut off contact. He wasn’t a touchy-feely kind of guy, but when he was, you never wanted to be the one to push him away or shut him down when he needed you. When he finally did release your wrists to step back, you swept your thumbs over his cheekbones, comforting him before motioning for him to lead the way.

Henry was curled up on the corner of a dark blue couch, clinging to a stuffed Spider-Man toy as he whimpered into the cushion. Kneeling in front of him, you gave a warm smile as you reached out and swept his hair back, feeling his forehead.

Way too warm, you noted; before you could even ask, Spencer was holding out the thermometer. He sat beside Henry at his legs, and despite the pain he was clearly in, Henry instantly shuffled himself around to lay his head on Spencer’s lap, one of his hands coming to tangle into his pajama pants.

Your entire heart melted instantly, seeing the two of them together. You’d never seen Spencer with kids, but it had instantly become one of the top five most beautiful views in the world.

“This is my friend, Dr. Y/N,” he introduced, his large hand settling on Henry’s side, rubbing soothingly. “We need to take your temperature again, okay?”

Henry sniffled and nodded, opening his mouth. As you started the thermometer, you shifted a little closer and said, “Hi Henry. I hear your tummy hurts.”

He gave a small nod, and when the thermometer beeped he reached up and held it out to you as he whimpered, “it hurts real bad.”

“I’m sorry you don’t feel good,” you apologized as you took a quick look at his temperature. 101.2. That wasn’t good. “Henry, can I take a look at your tummy really quick?”

With another small nod, you and Spencer helped him roll onto his back. Even just that small movement had more tears flowing, his little face screwed up as he turned and buried it against Spencer’s thigh.

There was no doubt in your mind now, but just to be thorough, you pressed lightly against the right side of his stomach. He let out a yelp of pain, and that was all you needed. Spencer caught the look on your face as you got to your feet.

“Spence, can you set up Henry’s car seat in my car?” you asked, keeping your voice calm so you didn’t panic the tearful little boy staring up at you with wide, worried eyes. Picking up on your demeanor, Spencer said gently,

“Of course. Henry, I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Okay Uncle Spencer,” he mumbled, allowing himself to be settled back on the couch. The moment he grabbed the car seat, Spencer all but sprinted outside. You tugged out your phone, moving to stand in the hall while keeping an eye on Henry as you dialed the nurse on call.

“Hey, Ashley, it’s Dr. Y/L/N. I know I’m not scheduled until seven, but there’s an emergency and I’ll be bringing in a patient,” you explained hastily. With the hospital so understaffed, even with priority it might take a while for Henry to be taken care of. You’d be his surgeon today.

“Is everything alright?” she asked hastily; you heard her already assembling the paperwork you needed.

“I’ll need an operating room and a team ready to perform an appendectomy.”

--

The sun was just coming through the window of the post-op room, illuminating Henry’s sleeping figure in a soft orange glow. You’d stopped in on your way to the waiting room, just to make sure he was okay.

Ashley held his chart out to you and you gave her a smile of thanks as she said, “I know it’s usually me talking to the family, but since this is personal I figured you’d want to do it. I’ll stay here with him for now, he should be up pretty soon.”

“You’re the best,” you said, giving her arm a thankful squeeze before you made your way to find Spencer and a couple of very concerned parents.

This wasn’t how you and Spencer had planned to introduce you to his team; he’d wanted you to come to one of their dinner parties in a few weeks to meet everyone at once. Though it was sudden and unexpected, you’d be lying to say you weren’t eager to meet JJ and Will. She was his best friend and after all you’d heard about both of them you were more than ready to make introductions.

The first waiting room only held a sleeping couple and a frantic woman pacing around the chairs. As you got closer to the second room, though, several different voices could be heard. When you stepped into the room, though, you hadn’t been prepared to see every member of Spencer’s team gathered inside.

He’d shown you dozens of pictures, and it wasn’t hard to match the faces to names. Penelope had to be the extremely colorful woman in a seat against the far wall, leaning on a painfully attractive man you instantly recognized as Morgan. Two older gentleman – Hotch on the left and Rossi on the right – were standing aside, talking casually with one another, their eyes on the panicked couple across from them.

Will and JJ were on the edge of their seats, hands clasped together as they talked quietly with a women who was unmistakably Emily. She was the first to spot you, brows raising in question. You cleared your throat and asked,

“Henry LaMontagne?”

All seven heads snapped to you instantly, catching you off-guard. You met each stare briefly before an eighth head popped out from behind Hotch and Rossi. Spencer looked exhausted, but his soft brown eyes lit up seeing you.

“Y/N, how is he?” he asked, hurrying out of his chair and coming around to you. JJ and Will got up as well, and though they were focused on you, you didn’t miss the way the rest of the team was looking between you and your boyfriend.

“He’s just fine,” you assured, and everyone visibly relaxed. “Thanks to Spencer, we got him here before his appendix burst and the surgery went through without a hitch. We’ll have to keep him overnight – it’s just normal procedure after an emergency surgery – but he’ll be good to go home tomorrow morning.”

Spencer moved unexpectedly, his arms instantly encircling you and pulling you into a tight hug. For a quiet, blissful moment the chaos of the morning came to a halt. Instead of panic and exhaustion and worry, it was just the two of you, caught up in your own world, both relaxing into one another after the last few grueling hours.

“Thank you so much for all you did,” he murmured against your neck, pressing a swift kiss against it as he reluctantly pulled back, smiling up at you with nothing short of love in his eyes. “You’re really amazing, you know that?”

You went to answer when a throat cleared from behind Spencer. Your boyfriend’s eyes slowly widened in realization, as if he’d just remembered the other people around you two. When he turned and stepped aside, you saw the rest of his team watching you both with grins.

Spencer’s ears and cheeks were flushed a dark pink, and you knew your own face wasn’t any different. Morgan was the first to move, stepping up and clapping your boyfriend on the shoulder as he looked between the two of you.

“Well, well, well. Look’s like the doctor’s got himself a doctor.”

Spencer, bless his adorable heart, was still at a loss for words. Whether it was the lack of sleep, the adrenaline of the last few hours finally wearing off, or the buzz of what you guessed was probably way too much caffeine (because you knew he’d been abusing the free coffee down the hall), you really couldn’t say. All he managed was a quick nod, and then a feeble attempt of,

“This – um, Y/N is my doctor – no, wait. So, we’ve been dating, um –“

With a laugh, you reached out and squeezed Spencer’s hand and then held your other out to Morgan. “I’m Y/F/N Y/L/N.” After a brief moment of deliberation, you grinned and added, “I’m the doctor’s doctor.”

The others laughed as you shook their hands briefly before turning to Will and JJ.

“I’m sure Henry’s awake by now. If you’d like, we can go check on him and I’ll have my nurse bring your entourage to meet us in his room.”

“That’d be fantastic,” JJ sighed, looping you into a hug of your own as Will rubbed her back soothingly, smiling in thanks at you. “Really, we’re so glad you dropped everything to help Henry.”

Giving her a hug of reassurance, you motioned for her and Will to start down the hall. Before you got more than a step and a half, Spencer’s hand had caught your own. When you turned to him, you were surprised to see the characteristic frown of worry on his face.

“What’s wrong?” you asked quickly, looking between his soft hazel eyes, concern of your own starting to spark.

“I just – is this okay? This was all so sudden, you just got thrown into the middle of everything, I didn’t give you any warning to meet everyone and –“

“And you know what?” you cut in gently, and he tipped his head a hint in question. “I wouldn’t have had it any other way.”

“Really?” he asked softly, a small smile peeking through his frown. “I just… I didn’t want to overwhelm you or… or scare you off.”

“You don’t need to worry, Spence. Really.” He raised his brows and gave a pointed glance around us, and I let out a laugh. “Okay, okay. Garage doors and sick kids are one thing, but me leaving you? Never. You’re sort of stuck with me.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he teased, and to your surprise, he leaned down and pressed a soft, sweet kiss to your lips before stepping back. “For the record, though, I now have proof that I don’t always worry too much.”

Well, shit. He had a point. Rolling your eyes, you made down the hall after JJ and Will, shaking your head at Spencer as he started down the hall for the coffee machine. Alright, if his constant anxieties didn’t send him to an early grave, the ungodly amount of caffeine he consumed certainly would.

You’d save that to worry about for another day.  

[chrysalizzm]

!!SPOILERS FOR JANUARY 4TH FESTIVAL STREAM!!

disclaimer: i can’t talk about everything because i have final exams next week and really should be studying so i can’t exactly go back and watch all the vods; i watched the entire thing from ranboo’s perspective and his acting was immaculate good on him. everyone that i discuss in this ramble are, of course, their characters, and not the actual ccs.

holy shit holy SHIT i cannot THINK brain go brrrrrr

okay i need to split this up because i physically cannot disentangle the jumble my brain and emotions are in right now my mind is just a pile of scrambled eggs

predictions??? or well thoughts about tomorrow

one of the things i thought of right away was clingyduo losing their last canon lives together, though this is on shaky ground because i seriously doubt “season two” (for lack of a better word) of the dream smp would end so quickly after season one, and because tommy and tubbo are both such huge catalysts for events happening on the smp, this seems pretty unlikely (they’re both too important for them to end up as a casual death for the sake of moving the plot along, there are a lot of other characters who aren’t on their final canon lives or even some that are that might die if the writers really wanted that bit of oomf, though i don’t really think it’s necessary for any perma-deaths to occur tomorrow). that said, i think toward the end of the smp storyline, or at least once it’s hit a steady storyline or has been around for long enough, it might be really poetic for certain things to come to an end with clingyduo dying together - it ties up the first arc of the dream smp, how everything began, and now how everything ends (this is how the world ends, indeed). also, tommy kept bringing up the fact that he and tubbo are on their final canon lives, and while i think this is mostly just a “bait the audience to subvert expectations at the last moment” move (as happened today kind of with tommy joining tubbo’s side), it’s interesting to hear that particular half of clingyduo contemplating his own mortality.

i think there’s a pretty low chance of niki joining dream and techno, despite my wishful thinking because i think she’d be a great asset to those two in making the l’manberg side falter emotionally and because she’s excellent at organising her thoughts and presenting a really solid argument, something that both dream and techno are just kinda okay at. we saw from niki’s argument that she has torn loyalties - plenty of characters do, but she’s pretty unique in that neither of the reasons she’s fighting for line up that much with techno and dream (i also like that niki’s the one who comes out and says outright that her loyalties are torn because she doesn’t like tommy). she clearly makes the distinction between fighting with tommy and fighting for l’manberg - she’s fighting for l’manberg - and for her, l’manberg outweighs all else. that’s the reason why she’s fighting on tommy’s side - because she knows that dream and techno will destroy what she’s fought so hard to keep whole and safe all this time, throughout the time she’s been on the smp. enemy of my enemy is my friend, all that.

pandora’s vault. MATE. it’s huge and we all know it. i think it’s possible that dream wants to throw everyone who opposes him into the prison - it’s large enough and secure enough to accommodate - but i don’t think he will, because current dream (and i want to make a distinction between current and early dream, because they’re so polar opposite that i’m inclined to believe something’s going on behind the scenes, probably associated with the book schlatt gave him, shoutout to dr3 @dr3amt3am3 on twitter for writing an excellent analysis of dream’s character) is motivated around causing chaos by using everyone. think eris from greek mythology when she tossed the golden apple between athena, hera, and aphrodite - he dips a toe in the water and all the fish fucking jump. he doesn’t need to make the mess because one little push and everyone makes the mess for him. so, no, i don’t think pandora’s vault will be used to imprison all those who oppose him. i know a lot of theories have been floating around about whether it’ll be tommy or phil or techno - those three seem to be the top contenders - and i think i’d like to plump for tommy, who’s probably the one dream wants to see suffer the most and is capable of causing the most damage - after all, look at him rallying the people of l’manberg with just a few sentences after he spent the last month condemned by them.

there was probably more but i have sbi brainrot now let’s move on

wherein i become an staunch techno apologist

i may be on tommy’s side, but i don’t agree with his reasoning or how he acted today. yeah, i said it. yes, he’s been deeply traumatised since election night, arguably even further back, what with being the sole witness as wilbur spiralled and watching his best friend get brutally murdered and being unable to stop techno from razing the nation he helped plant the seeds of to the ground and seeing wilbur get stabbed by their father and exile, gaslighting, panic attacks, this kid needs a goddamn break. but i vibe with techno’s ideals and actions a fair bit more than i do tommy’s. the fact of the matter is, technoblade has always been completely transparent about why he was doing things the way he did them and what they were for (with the exception of a few lies of omission to tommy about what he wanted to happen to l’manberg). from day one he’s made it clear that he’s an anarchist and that what he wants is to abolish the government, and he genuinely believes that anarchy is for the greater good. from techno’s perspective, he’s not wrong - every single problem on the server can be traced back to some form of government or political turmoil, from l’manberg’s fight for independence to this latest festival fiasco. furthermore, when you look at it from an unbiased perspective, techno’s only ever really been used and discarded. he hasn’t instigated any conflicts on his own; he usually gets roped in by whoever’s running the movement, used as a weapon/items cache, then immediately thrown aside as the winners of the conflict establish exactly the opposite of techno’s beliefs. i have a lot of things to say about techno’s role in the smp because i get all angy about it, but for something zingy to leave you with - have you thought about how tommy and wilbur said “we have the blade” - a weapon, not a person?

rip community house ;-;7

yeah no it was almost definitely dream. tommy gains nothing from griefing the community house to that extent, especially not in this political climate (i know the argument can be made that he didn’t have to grief george’s house either, but that doesn’t have the connotations that the griefing of the community house does. no matter how reckless tommy is, i don’t believe that he’s stupid). dream has more to gain at this point from destroying the community house than tommy does, and this shows the audience a lot about current!dream; we know it’s true, now, what he said when he threatened tommy: “i don’t care about anything, actually.” he doesn’t. he said himself that the community house is the most sacred thing on the server, the oldest build, the first and only thing to have remained since the genesis of the dream smp, and so for him to have been the one to destroy it where he’s been so careful to preserve things from the old days of the smp (his pet fish, the community house, spirit) - shocking, the difference between early!dream and current!dream. he’s actually willing to go to literally any lengths to take tommy down, even at the cost of things he once valued above all else. interesting stuff. ((shakes the smug green bastard /smp)) TELL ME WHATS IN THAT BOOK YOU FUNGAL PIECE OF SHIT

applauding the smp members

because WOW that acting was SO FUCKING GOOD special shoutout to niki and ranboo because they fucking NAILED IT

okay i’m gonna go lie down and think about african lit for finals now thanks for reading this incomprehensible babble