#(im kidding im kidding. being suicidal is soooo two days ago)

[asterdeer]

tori was an amazing guest and very very funny but as someone who has multiple times considered the practicalities and interpersonal optics of buying enough sleeping pills to kms, hermie’s tight five KILLED (no gallows pun intended), 100/10

[throwing-summers-at-the-walls]

Hello again ☺️Yes, that would have been really cool! I already read two of your recomnendations and i love them so thank you again for sharing! I can understand you being unsure of your writing but i bet there are people who will love it. Judging from how you answer your asks and how much you love John i have no doubt that i would love it. But if you dont wanna post it anywhere i would completely understand too. (1)

Im glad i came around to like Root cause otherwise it would have been hard to watch season 4 & 5 cause she appears a lot. I think part of it is cause i watched it witch my family and my dad loves her so i started to like her more too (you know who you love sth cause someone else loves it?) and then eventually i liked her to. Shaw i loved from day one and i loved her sibling energy with John. The John and Shaw dynamic was one of my favorites. I love their teasing and their chaotic energy (2)

As for Shoot i think its kinda cool that the writers just went with it cause of the chemistry and i like Shoot a lot. John and Harold would be amazing too (i mean whats better than one queer couple? Two queer couples!) And there are some parallels between the ships so there was room for both of them. Eventhough Harold and Grace is cute too. And i feel John has chemistry with almost everyone (not always romantic chemistry but also platonic chemistry if thats a Thing 😂) and (3)

in Addition to rinch i also really liked John with Zoe. The only one he had zero chemistry with was the theraphist imo. That ship was just weird. I wish they would have used that time for more Rinch scenes instead. -- yes someone who agrees about the happy end! I dont understand people who wish for a sad end. Like John is my fave character ever and i just want him to be happy with his newfound odd family and maybe someday adopt a cute baby with Harold or become an uncle or idk just be happy (4)

But in my Imagination he didnt die and someday he and Harold retired and started their quieter Happy life with Bear. --- yeah poi Reddit loves the later seasons and hates the first and i noticed they can get a bit mean with people who dont agree (thats why i only read and never write anything). Also said you could skip most of S1 which is just sad cause its a great season 😔 i will accept that i lost validity (is this even a Word?) for liking Root 😂 also yea 4x20 is the ep with the carter hallucinations so check it out. But a warning: Root appears :D sorry this ask got so long, but i just love talking to you and i always look forward to your replies :)

Hi !! Happy to see you're back :)

Glad you liked my recs ! I think there's quite an amount of fics with suicidal John out there actually. Not that surprising since it's canon.

I appreciate your support ! In the long run idk if it's healthy for me. Like a few months ago I fell back into ace attorney and I read a lot of fics about Miles being suicidal and it affected me negatively. Sometimes I purposefully seek out suicide fics. And it may not be the most healthy thing to do. So I'm not sure about that fic. Bc I do wanna write it, but idk if it'd be healthy, as catharsis, or unhealthy, as rumination. I mean I've been writing that body horror fic with some projection of my body issues and it's fine. But yeah I'm pretty sure that if I ever finish it I think I'll post it – after all I posted a fic in which John jumped off a bridge a long while ago before I got suicidal (foreshadowing my own life here lmao). I also wanna try to work on my other wips

Yeah I see, that's understandable. Ngl Root makes me not motivated to get to these seasons during my rewatch (which technically wouldn't be a rewatch). It's wild how I feel nothing for Shaw (she do be kinda hot tho,,,, muscles,,,,,) but I think it's mostly bc I wasn't that interested in her back then and it's been so long since I watched the show I don't remember shit about her. She'd be able to grow on me I think. Yeah I've seen a lot of posts about that "mayhem twins" dynamic around here it does sound cool. Also it's refreshing to have a male/female relationship that isn't turned into a forced romance. But I'll always have a soft spot for S1 and its four core characters.

It's nice if they have chemistry, I didn't feel like they did. Yeah I'm still disappointed that they didn't go for Rinch too. I mean come on their chemistry is so painfully obvious ! I dislike the word queer but mood pls just give me canon Rinch I'm fucking begging hhhhhhh. I'm quite sure the notion of chemistry works with non romantic relationships as well. John is definitely good with people. He looks scary and brooding but he's just a good man who wants to help people ! I love him so much and same he's my fav character of all time !! Also I love seeing him interact with kids he's so good with them. But I also love when he's being an absolute badass. Damn I always forget about Grace gkjdfkjfd I don't have anything against her though, Harold and her are cute together. (Not much into the grace/harold/john OT3 tho, I've seen it around after return 0 but :/ not my thing. But hey good for people who like it.)

I liked John and Zoe too. Even if he had chemistry with Iris it's so cringe, didn't think poi would fall as low as portraying such a relationship between a therapist and a patient. Guess that shows the decrease in quality in the later seasons. Sad they did that shit when as you said they could have showed more Rinch. Like come ooon Rinch is just. Right fucking here. Just make it canon you cowards.

Yeah fuck sad endings (John didn't die obviously) I want my men to be happy and in love and live a good life together with their dog is that too much to ask. Like sometimes I read fics with MCD bc why not but most of the time I just want happiness. Fluffy domestic Rinch is so good ! Gives me so much life. I have a soft spot for married Rinch as well. Also while we're at it let me rec this domestic fluff fic:

Yeah not surprised. And you're right don't waste your time arguing on reddit lol it's not worth it. It baffles me when people say S1 is boring like ??? Where ?? There's literally soooo many eps I love in this season !! 📣📣📣number crunch is the best ep📣📣📣 Glad they stay over on reddit with their last seasons and their shit opinions about S1 smh. Like imagine being a fan of a show and disregarding the season that created the basis of the show and developed characters and relationships. Big brain time uh

I'm quite sure validity is an actual word, and that's how it be if you like root :/ I don't make the rules :/ you're the half valid anon now 😂

Oh well I shall endure root if it's a good ep ^^

It's cool !! I love your long asks !! I hope I didn't get lost in my own reply lmao

[championed]

im gonna ramble here a bit only bc i try and be quiet when people are dumb but i can’t stand how much false information is floating around on twitter rn its crazy

so two days ago sha & syd posted a joke laughing at chris bc he always panics and runs away from paps in the dumbest ways, but oh my god. dakota johnson’s fans are INSANE.

They always somehow twist every tweet we do into us bashing dakota which is crazy?? They also love to lurk on mine, syd’s, and sha’s twitter account because we sometimes post chris things first like photos and news (our twitter interactions on our tweets have grown exponentially since chris & dakota started dating jesus christ) which is like wtf why because why are they hate following us and trying to keep tabs on chris so obsessively he’s not your fav and a lot dont even like chris but i digress

Us three have ALWAYS made fun of chris and everyone around him and made sarcastic jokes and most of our tweets are inside jokes between us but we literally cant without a bunch of dakota fans screenshotting every tweet we do and spreading the idea that we loathe dakota by twisting every word we say. It’s kinda surreal cus i dont exactly like her for personal reasons, but i don’t hate her?? It’s chris’ life, not mine. i literally just dont care for her, the only time i get any news on her is if shes seen with chris or i see stuff bc the fans clog chris’ tags (and they wanna claim im stalking her....... i have no idea where she is since chris dropped her off at starbucks on the 6th anyways)

It’s like. I Get that we all used to provide mallis for people but thats only because no one else would. no one seems to notice stuff like this in the coldplay fandom so we posted it cus its fun sharing things and it was so much fun having others participate and i love annabelle after talking to her a few times so ofc i’m still fond of her cus she was so nice to me personally but. I’m not a Stan. Syd & I are the closest people to stanning her and we agreed we’d drop her in a heartbeat and kinda have sjfndjd whats even funnier is everyone accusing sha of being a mallis stan when she literally didnt care much for wallis when her and chris were together and even less so now that they broke up. We loved all of mallis because chris was happy, it was always about chris from the beginning

I’m not even gonna lie ofc i miss mallis but i miss the normalcy it gave me after two years and i miss annabelle because of how she helped turn chris from being suicidal into singing on ahfod about believing in love. People probably wonder why we dont post any dakota & chris being together and twist it into meaning we hate her when its something so simple: ITS NOT FUN ANYMORE. Chris’ search (and even coldplay’s sometimes) is clogged, i see horrible comments of dakota fans arguing or bashing chris (or bashing me sha and syd now), whats the point in posting things when people have reposted it 1000x esp when theres a good chance im gonna get my mentions flooded by dakota fans since theyre stalking us constantly now

im honestly just soooo tired of so many dakota fans trying to act like they know chris and where hes at when theyre 90% wrong most of the time, that he’s spending all his time with her when hes usually with his kids or doing some kind of charity work, some even believe that hes the devil because they hate him since he’s getting in between their tinhat ship (can you imagine thinking chris martin of coldplay is evil like wow... theyre so insecure they compare chris to some dude chris probably has never met before in his life), and so much other stuff. And i’ve gotten all this JUST from searching chris on twitter despite having a bunch of blacklisted words and blocked twitters, I don’t even want to imagine what else is being said thats wrong. i’d gladly correct others if they asked me but theyre just so irrational i just think whats the point

this is getting so long im stopping before people think i spent the past months constantly thinking about this when its been like 1% of my every day life. the past few days have only made me want to write this cus even tho it has been days people are still on our twitters right now to say horrible shit (idc about people saying stuff about our appearances cus whatever but theyre saying racist ass shit like calling us ghetto) all bc they think we want their fav to die when its just their wrong interpretation jsbdjdjd

anyways ! this was cathartic. bring back coldplay

tl;dr: i dont hate dakota, i hate all her fans, i love chris & bring back coldplay

[grumpyonion]

kind anon gave me an excuse to answer a bunch of questions about myself cuz i know at least one person actually wants to read them so here goes

1: Do you have a crush at the moment? i do actually. it’s just a little thing but it’s nice 2: Have you ever been deeply in love? yess i have, more than once 3: Longest relationship you've ever been in? about two years i think? 4: Have you ever changed for someone? yeah, unfortunately. do not recommend  5: How is your relationship with your ex? i have no relationship with any of my exes except my most recent, and we’re friends 6: Have you ever been cheated on? yepppp 7: Have you ever cheated? nope 8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating? absolutely not. even if they’ve been “clean” for a while, my own anxiety and paranoia would not rest and i just know i’d read too much into every little thing. 9: What's the most important part of a relationship? honestly being able to like, laugh like hell together. being able to just totally let go and be 100% yourself and feel fully comfortable around that person.  10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? i havent really done “flings” before except maybe once in high school. all my relationships have been pretty committed and relatively long-term. although right now i don’t think i could do anything serious, i’m dealing w too much internal shit  11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"? eh. if you’ve been together a loooong time and maybe need a couple days or so of space to keep things goin, sure. but if it’s something that’s only a couple months old and you already need a “break”, it might just not be working out.  12: How many people have you ever hooked up with? hooked up is a vague term imo but ive only ever had a single one night stand 13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship? not trusting my gut, not standing up for myself, not speaking my mind about how i feel/what i want 14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex? this is an impossible question 15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"? absolutely the FUCK not. age is incredibly important  16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"? not particularly??  17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet? yeah, i’ve done it 18: What do you consider a deal breaker? oh god so many things lol. bigotry, disrespect, overly selfish, emotionally immature 19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship? when spending time with the person feels more like a chore than a privilege, or when the person makes you wanna fucking die lmao 20: Are you currently in a relationship? nope 21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? for sure, it hasn’t really worked for me so far (until now) but it’s possible 22: Do you think people should date their friends? i.. wouldn’t date someone who wasn’t my friend most likely 23: How many relationships have you had? SERIOUS relationships? like.. 4. including weird short-term shit? 7. including a dude i wasn’t technically dating but it kinda felt like we were? 8. the 4 are the big ones though.  24: Do you think love can last forever? i really do hope so 25: Do you believe love can conquer all things? unfortunately no 26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of? if you asked me this 5 years ago i’d say fuck no. but i was once with someone my mom didn’t like and at the time i was very defensive of it cuz i was blind and in love, but looking back now i realize that person was horribly abusive and has left me with residual trauma soooo. if my mom didn’t like someone i was with, i would definitely listen to why.  27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be? just ONE piece? damn. if they make you wanna die/hurt yourself, leave them. 28: Do you think long distance relationships can work? yess. i don’t think i’d ever do one again personally but they can work 29: What do you notice first about another person? their style, and the way they hold themselves. usually i get a kind of vibe from people too, so that helps 30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual? lmao idk i just say im fuckin gay it’s confusing 31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness? nope. in fact most if not all of my partners have in some way 32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? yes 33: Do you want to get married one day? yeah i’d like to, it’s not my top priority though  34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed? i don’t think i’d ever get a name tattooed but i’d get like matching tattoos maybe?? 35: Could you be in a relationship without sex? i used to say no but honestly i think i could now that i’m mostly out of my hormone-driven teenage years  36: Are you still a virgin? nope 37: What's more important: Looks or personality? personality is what keeps a relationship going but looks are important to get that initial interest and keep the attraction alive yknow 38: Do you enjoy love films? depends, but sometimes yeah 39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses? no :( 40: Have you ever had a valentine? mmm yes i think once or twice 41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"? i hate this question cuz IDK!! 42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"? i’m trying to remember if i’ve actually read through the whole thing but i can’t for the life of me remember. i think so tho?? 43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends? friends, always. although usually they are also part of the friends category so it’s complicated   44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"? nah not really 45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends? uhmmmmm yes 46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"? not a real thing y’all 47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite? lol idk if they count as “famous” but Jenna and Julien babbyyyyy i love them 48: What's your favorite love song? ive got a bunch but the first one i thought of is Bloom by The Paper Kites 49: Have you ever broken someone's heart? yeah 50: If you're single, why do you think you are? because my ex broke up w me and because i’m not ready to be in another relationship yet 51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy? why is this a question. poor but nice 52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships? i think so. i’ve gotten pretty good at advice over the years 53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single? it comes and goes 54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)? i really don’t care 55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"? nah, i appreciate having my own personal space. i can get jealous sometimes though 56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship? god no 57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart? not at all. a relationship ending can be extremely upsetting to some people, and if you already struggle with mental illness a major negative event like that can exasperate it  58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship? submissive 59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary? i forget everything lol 60: What's your opinion on open relationships do whatever works and makes everyone happy as long as it’s consensual!  61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family? they’re important for different reasons tho i couldn’t really pick one 62: How do you define "cheating"? it’s different for everyone and every relationship, for me PERSONALLY idc if my partner like, shares a platonic kiss with their friends, or cuddles/holds hands with their friends. platonic intimacy is important and i wouldn’t wanna take that away from them. i draw the line at having sex with other people, or when romantic/serious feelings get involved.  63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate? nah, do whatever 64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated? kinda, but it’s cute idc 65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"? definitely