#(im being harsh here because the show is a gag anime)

[bugdogg]

we rewatching season 2 while were at it, i gotta remember how these idiots are, gotta refresh

[a-little-slice-of-fandom]

In derry girls, what did you think of the episode where clare came out? Im irish (republic) and gay so i love that it was included, but some of the language used makes me uncomfortable i guess? I get that NI in the 90s wasnt very accepting but the directors have said that they already portrayed it through rose coloured glasses so having michelle say d*ke feels unnecessary. I love the show though and can certainly look past it! I was just interested in what you thought :)))

Hey anon!

Personally I love this episode of Derry Girls! In fact it’s probably my favourite episodes. I already liked Clare as a character throughout the series, probably because I relate to her a bit too much, so to have her be revealed as gay was just like the icing on the cake. Good representation for northern Irish characters are few and far between, and gay northern Irish characters are basically non existent. Derry Girls was this hit TV show that provided many with the first chance to see themselves represented meaningfully on TV, and that includes myself.

However, I think there’s a lot of really important stuff in this episode that people either don’t notice or just don’t really talk about, which I do understand because Derry Girls is, at the end of the day, a comedy and it’s much more fun to quote characters like Aunt Sarah saying “you cannot move for lesbians these days” than to think about the darker side of Northern Ireland.

(T/W for homophobia discussion!!!)

(Also this sort of turned into a ramble about acceptance by the end of the post but I just have a lot of feelings on what Derry girls represents and I feel like non northern Irish viewers maybe don’t catch onto that because they don’t have the necessary context)

Derry Girls, as a show, is so interesting and personal to me because it manages to perfectly strike the balance between presenting Northern Ireland as a deeply flawed and divided country, but also presenting it as a place where people can be happy and live their lives to the fullest despite the ever present danger of the troubles. And that’s a genuinely refreshing portrayal of N.I that we usually don’t get. However I’d argue that if Derry Girls doesn’t at least try and illustrate, to some extent, the causal and very rampant homophobia of northern Ireland then it runs the risk of romanticising Northern Ireland at the time, which I think is incredibly dangerous. I do think that the show is intentionally more digestible and does filter things through rose tinted glasses, however I’d argue that simply glossing over the homophobia would have actually been a bit disrespectful to the queer history of Northern Ireland and could erase the experiences and struggles of the LGBTQ community in N.I, both then and now. If the show doesn’t acknowledge that things were shitty then we paint an inaccurate picture of what it was like, and arguably still is like, to be gay in Northern Ireland. And considering that Derry Girls is one of the very few good depictions of Northern Ireland, it’s incredibly important that it’s an honest depiction.

You specifically asked about Michelle, but I think it’s important to talk about Michelle and Erin in relation to one another, and how they are both products of their time and of a deeply homophobic society.

(Now I’m going to briefly discuss Michelle’s use of the d-slur here however I just want to acknowledge that I’m probably not the best person to talk about this since it’s a lesbian specific slur and I’m not a lesbian. I welcome any additions to this post!)

I think Michelle sort of represents the overt and “loud” homophobia that’s present in our society. Michelle saying the d-slur is far from the first homophobic thing she says. I mean It’s literally a running gag in series one that she calls James “gay” constantly. And the sad thing is that Michelle’s off handed comments throughout the series are incredibly realistic to what you’d hear in Northern Ireland even today. I remember the f-slur being chanted during break time at my primary school, without anyone fully understanding what that word meant. Michelle is a representation of the homophobia that’s deeply ingrained into N.I to the point where it’s not even thought about or even seen as an issue. I mean...no one ever really talks about Michelle’s comments. Now whether or not they had to include her saying a slur specifically to illustrate the homophobia of N.I is not for me to say. You could change that sentence in the script and I think the point of Michelle representing “loud” and homophobia would still stand.

On the other hand...I think Erin represents the much more insidious and “quiet” homophobia.

Firstly, she has no issue with capitalising off a very personal essay for her own gain, shrugs off any protests that this might be wrong and doesn’t consider how her actions may hurt the writer of this piece (who is later revealed to be Clare).

Even the language she uses is a bit uncomfortable, saying that “a real life lesbian walks among us”. Are lesbians wild animals or mythical creatures? That seems to be what Erin is implying here. Plus Erin tries to make it out to others such as Sister Michael that she’s doing this because she genuinely believes in equal rights and wishes to stick up for the LGBT community, but when Clare actually tries to come out Erin is clearly confused and she reacts very badly. I mean, Erin literally says she doesn’t want Clare to come out and demands she get back in the closet, and you can see how hurt Clare is by this reaction. And this scene is kind of played for laughs and I think that straight viewers probably found Erin’s reaction quite funny...but this scene hit way too close to home for me. It’s the classic “I have nothing against gay people, but I’d just rather I didn’t have a gay friend/child/co-worker because they make me uncomfortable” that’s way too common in Northern Ireland. It’s the idea that people can present themselves as liberal and open minded, but when finally confronted with something that doesn’t fit their narrative, their societal conditioning kicks in.

As a queer woman, it was never Michelle’s causal homophobia that made me uncomfortable, it was Erin’s reaction...because it hit way too close to home. It’s a perfect representation of the “quiet” homophobia that’s still a massive issue in Northern Ireland today.

(Also the context of when Derry Girls was released is super important! Series one of Derry Girls was released in 2018...but Gay marriage wasn’t actually legalised in Northern Ireland until January of 2020 and even then it was quite contested by conservatives. Now I’m not saying there’s social commentary here but that’s absolutely what I’m saying.)

Now I’m not saying that Michelle or Erin themselves are homophobic, nor am I saying that they’re bad people. I think that they are teenagers that have absorbed a lot of homophobic rhetoric due to the time and the society that they live in. Although Erin’s reaction to Clare trying to come out was painful to watch because it felt so real, I don’t think her reaction was malicious. Erin is a teenager who has grown up in a homophobic society and now doesn’t really know how to react to this new reality and probably didn’t realise how hurtful she was being to Clare. (This isn’t me trying to excuse her reaction, again I am part of the LGBT community and I’ve experienced that exact same reaction from people, it’s me trying to understand Erin’s reaction). Erin and Michelle have both absorbed rhetoric from their deeply homophobic society, and unfortunately this rhetoric continues.

Plus I just want to comment on this idea of acceptance and change in Derry Girls. Derry Girls is set in the time of great change in Northern Ireland, where people were sort of starting to accept that people are allowed to be British or Irish or both. But this process was messy and it wasn’t instantaneous. And the acceptance of the LGBTQ community in Northern Ireland was the exact same. It didn’t just happen overnight. It was a slow and messy process of change, of people re-evaluating their previous beliefs and being given the chance to grow as people and to learn how to accept others. That’s not to say people haven’t made mistakes in the past, because they have, but they’re willing to take the steps to change. I‘ve always thought the LGBTQ subplot of Derry Girls is sort of a parallel to the overall process of change in Northern Ireland in a political sense. And I think that flies over so many people’s heads because they don’t have that context of the political situation in N.I.

(And this theme of acceptance is seen again in the series finale of series 2 with James! ✨ Thematic consistency ✨ )

Because at the end of the day, Clare is accepted by the group. In fact, we see both the teenagers and the adults actively take steps to make her feel loved, welcome and accepted. My favourite moment will always be Granda Joe saying “you’re a very talented people” to Clare in the most earnest voice. Clare is still loved by her friends and although they don’t exactly know what they’re doing, they do try and show their support for her. They absolutely make mistakes, and they did hurt Clare, but they’re trying and I think that stands for a lot, especially at the time.

And I think all of what I discussed was absolutely necessary to Derry Girls. Derry Girls might be a somewhat rose tinted portrayal of Derry in the troubles, but it never tries to romanticise the situation that the teenagers were in (because no one should be romanticising the troubles). I think that this stance of portraying the harsh reality of homophobia in N.I is equally important to the narrative of Derry Girls. I see my own experiences in Clare, despite the fact it’s 30 years later, so if they didn’t at least attempt to show the homophobia in Ireland it would have felt disingenuous and too “perfect”. Again, I’m not saying that Michelle using the d slur was the right way to go about showing the “loud” homophobia of Northern Ireland. That’s not my decision to make. However, just because Derry Girls is making efforts to present Northern Ireland in a more digestible way to audiences (especially non northern Irish audiences) doesn’t mean they shouldn’t also acknowledge the reality of Northern Ireland at the time.

(This all kind of makes it sound like I want Clare to get hate crimed which I obviously do not want. I think the way that Derry Girls showed the issues in Northern Ireland were perfect and very much necessary, minus the use of the d-slur specifically which wasn’t necessary to the plot.)

Anyway thank you so much for the ask anon! This was much more rambly than my usual posts but I just really have a lot of opinions on Derry girls because it does mean a lot to me and it often does hit close to home.

[imma-fan]

The Man In The Trees // GOT7 Jaebum

+ Jaebum being evil/low key Demon AU; scary I guess; horror; messed up stuff +

+ Part 2 +

Tears and sweat ran down my face as I was tied and gagged with some kind of towel, not able to scream nor move from the harsh ground I was laid out on. If I hadn’t known any better I’d think i would be dreaming this whole thing, that the scare from earlier is just manifesting in my brain unconsciously. But, no, I certainly am surrounded by towering trees and thick foliage. It was difficult to see anything outside, the moonlight completely hidden in this god awful place. Tears continued to fall as I started to understand that I am doomed from getting any help out of here, my wrists and ankles scrapping against harsh rope and any noise I made muffled by whatever was in my mouth.

A chuckle made my eyes go wide. He’s here. I whimpered as a fire lit up, causing me to be able to see some of the surroundings. But, as soon as I could see I squeezed my eyes shut at the feeling of hands on me, I only cried harder as I was put in a sitting position. What is he going to do to me? Is he going to kill me? “And here I thought you’d want a bit of light...” He chuckled, undoing whatever was keeping me from screaming. I took deep breathes inbetween sobs, my body heavy with anxiety. Once I got the courage to open my eyes I searched for him, which didn’t take long since he was stood in front of me. “Hello.” He smiled eerily at me. His hair was long, he was a bit thin, his canines awfully sharp, and he looked young.

“P-please...I won’t tell anyone! Let me go and I won’t say a word! I swear!” I begged desperately to whoever had gotten me here. “P-lease! I won’t say anything...” my voice got weaker as I thought of every awful thing he could do to me out here while we were alone.

“Shut up!” He ran a hand through his black hair as I flinched at his shouting. “They don’t like screaming.” He stated, I looked every which way I could with my eyes. There’s more? I began breathing heavier as I scooted uncomfortably on the dirt, I haven’t heard anything else how the hell could anyone else be in this area?

“W-who?” I couldn’t help but ask quietly, whoever it was I didn’t want to anger.

“The voices.” He smirked almost playfully and I couldn’t help breathe a sigh of relief at least I’m only dealing with one psycho instead of multiple. “I’m joking. The trees. The trees don’t like the yelling, it upsets them.” If I was in any other situation and someone had said anything like that to me I would have rolled my eyes, but he’s obviously sick in the head. “The trees seem to like you.” He hummed, looking up and around and I couldn’t help but shiver at the cold chill up my spine.

“I want to go home. Let me go home you fucking lunatic!” I screamed after a few moments of silence. Isn’t he supposed to torturing me? Killing me? Sending out a note for ransom money? My chest heaved up and down in stress, anxiety and frustration. I can’t stand it, it’s cold, I’m dirty, and I’m terrified. I watched as the man kneeled in front of me and showed a bit of his teeth at me, I looked him in the eyes this time.

“Oh, sweetheart you’re all mine now.” His eyes...changed color? No. I’m going crazy. He laughed lightly at the obvious fear on my face. “See, I don’t choose who I get paired with. The trees do that. And for some sick reason they paired me with some girl who has never heard of the phrase “curiousity killed the cat”.” He huffed and rolled his eyes as he stood up. I’m so confused and so tired and I just want to go home. “Now, listen to me very carefully. I am going to untie you. You will not run. You will not even try to run. Because if you do I will not be able to store myself.” He spoke seriously as he looked practically into my soul. He really is out of touch with reality, I supposed living on train tracks buried under trees would do that to someone. I nodded slowly at his rules. He slowly started to untie me, I could feel the burning ease up on my ankles and then my wrists. I looked at them and gulped, I’d definitely have marks left there.

“I suppose since we’ll be spending a lot of time together I should give you a proper introduction.” I looked up at him, hugging my knees to my chest, my chin on my knees. “I’m Im Jaebum. You will refer to me as JB.” I nodded slowly, I need to get out of here. “Although I already know who you are...it’s polite for you to reciprocate.” Has he been watching me?

“I-I’m (y/n).” I mumbled with a soft nod and breathed out gently. I look down at my wrists and hands and body, I’m distgusting and gross. I’m covered in dirt, and sweat, and who knows if there’s animals out here. “Well, can you tell me why I have to stick with you at least?” I murmured gently, I just need to know why he wants me here other than that the trees said so. He sighed out and walked back in forth in front of me, his hands in the pockets of his baggy cargo pants. I attempted to swallow the lump in my throat but my mouth proved to be too dry for that.

“Let’s just say I’ve been summoned to keep an eye,” his eyes did that color change thing again. “,on you, alright?” I breathed out, this conversation is getting nowhere. “But, you’ll be able to go back out into your family. You just have to make a tiny deal with me.” He nodded and I looked at him hopeful.

“What? What do I have to do?” I really hope it’s something doable.

“You see, (y/n). I cannot leave this area unless I’m given permission.” He sighed exaggeratingly. “So, how about I get to be the devil on your shoulder. Then both you and I get to leave this shrub.” He nodded, shrugging slightly as he awaited for me to speak.

“What is that supposed to mean?” I ask. “You want to follow me around?” I ask again, this man needs to be more upfront I’m starting to get lost inside my own head.

“Yeah, obviously there’s a catch. Well, two really.” H kneeled back down in front of me. “See, I’ll always be around but no one else gets to see me, you won’t either unless we’re in this dump. Also, if you don’t excel my little deal then, well, get comfortable sleeping on dirt.” His mischievous grin faded as he spoke his last sentence. This man is really insane. How do I even agree to this? Maybe, if I say yes he’ll just walk beside me the entire time and I’ll be able to easily get him in trouble. Is he that stupid? Hopefully.

“Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I’ll do it.” I nod confidently hoping he’s easy to fool.

“Okay, well, let’s just get the knot tied.” He nodded with a smile before getting on both of his knees in front of me. Oh no. “Give me your hands.” Hesitantly I held my hands out for him and he roughly took them. “Okay, now just close your eyes.” Jesus, if he doesn’t hurry up. I did as I was told though. I closed my eyes tight, worried he may do something as I was in a vulnerable state. After a few seconds I felt an indescribable chest pain and couldn’t help the cries of pain that came from my mouth as it felt like it would never end. It was like a heart attack feeling but I’m sure a thousand times worse. I felt my headache as if my brain was about to pop from my skull.

Then. It was done.

I heaved in order to get some air back into my lungs as I got on all fours on the ground. I looked up at JB with wide eyes once I came back a bit. “You thought I was lying, huh?” He smirked evilly at me. After a few more minutes of me regaining my strength I was slowly able to get up. “Go ahead, (Y/n). Test it out.” He gestured to where the exit was. I looked at him and then to where the tracks would lead me out. I nodded and began to walk, him following closely.

I sank to the floor in disbelief as I took a few steps out from the tunnel of trees and found that he was no longer beside me. “Now you’re stuck with me.” Tears began falling again as I heard his voice as if he was beside me.

“No. No. No! This is just a dream! A sick nightmare!” I screamed, my hands going to my head as I sobbed again. I’m surprised I haven’t run out of tears today.

“This is going to be so much fun.” I winced at the sound of his voice.

M.List