#(if you really want to read the article message me and i'll give you the url)

[felassan]

Notes on and quotes from today’s new DA:TV coverage content from Game Informer, the video “The Making of Dragon Age: The Veilguard | Cover Story Feature”. The rest of this post is under a cut due to DA:TV spoilers.

First I'll note that the Game Informer video contains spoilers for DA:TV, so bear that in mind before deciding to watch it or read further in this post.

There were no new images, screenshots or videos from the game in the Game Informer video. There was however a series of music pieces playing in the background of the devs talking throughout. I didn't recognize these music pieces (lmk if you did tho pls hh!), so I'm wondering if the music in this video was all-new DA music from DA:TV!! 👁️

Next I will say that there was not much in the way of new information in the video. The devs were chatting about topics, info segments and talking points that have been featured in previous articles & previous coverage on the game. however, the devs seemed really happy and excited, and proud of what they've made, excited to share about it, and that was rly nice to see. :)

For the rest of this post, it is not a 'cliff notes on everything said in the video'-type post. It's just a series of notes on and quotes from the video that particularly stood out to me and that I particularly liked. ^^

"You start DA:TV having chased Solas to Minrathous. You're there to stop his ritual, there to take him down. You're there to find this character, so you're chasing him, you're trying to stop this ritual that he has already said multiple times that he is going to perform before he performs it, because, if he does, the Veil will get torn down, the Fade and the world of the waking will merge, and demons will pour out, pretty much meaning the end of life as we know it".

John Epler: "Solas always feels that he is a tragic hero, but a hero [of the story] nonetheless. So he is coming into this believing firmly that what you stopped him from doing [Rook stopping the ritual the way they did in the gameplay reveal video] was the right thing, that you've made a mistake, but, because now he's trapped, now he can't reach out and actively affect, he needs to work with you. And that allows us to provide a lot of nuance to the relationship, because Solas sees a lot of himself in you, especially the parts of himself that he maybe doesn't like to face, so there is kinda that interesting push and pull between the two characters, Solas and the main protagonist Rook. And you can define what that relationship means. You can continue to be suspicious and hostile towards him. Or you can start to see him and find that common ground, find that connection between the two of you and really develop a different relationship over thee course of the story." Mark Darrah: "This is a good direction to take the Solas story. It allows us to hopefully give a good conclusion to all of the varied attitudes towards Solas that are gonna be coming into this game. People who love Solas, people who agree with Solas, people who hate Solas, people who want to kick Solas off of a building, I think that we give you the opportunity to bring that to a close, but then tell a greater story about The Veilguard and about the world as a whole."

BioWare wanted to tell a story this time where you literally cannot save the world without these characters

The companions have relationships with each other too. "They have friendships, they have rivalries, and lean into that concept, you're not just pulling together a bunch of people who will do whatever you say, you're assembling a family and that becomes the core of what The Veilguard is all about. It's about taking this group, this found family and saving the world side by side with them."

In the game, things and the storytelling are done towards a goal, towards a storytelling goal, "towards the future" [of the franchise it sounds like], not 'just because' or 'just to do them'

John: "The message of The Veilguard is, you’re not saving the world on your own. You need your companions but you also need these factions, these other groups in the world. You help them, they help you. Now, something we wanted to avoid, because, you know, there's always the trope of, 'oh yeah, I would help you save the world but I need you to go gather 200 wood', it's kind of a silly concept, so what we wanted to build is these factions that do want to help you but have realistic challenges, problems in front of them. So narratively, you help them with their problems, they will help you with yours when the time comes, but beyond that each faction has a follower, as well as an ancillary character we’re calling 'agents', who exist as these, face of the faction. We’re not gonna get too deep into those right now, but we didn’t wanna just say, 'here's the Wardens, go deal with the Wardens', we wanted to have characters within that faction who are sympathetic, who you can see and who become the face of that faction, so even if there's moments where the faction as a whole may be on the outs with you, these characters are still with you, they’ve still got your back. It’s a core with what we’ve done with the storytelling in this game. We wanted to make sure all the content you did felt relevant. Everything you do has a purpose and has a tie back into the critical path. Sometimes it's more explicit than others, but there is always a sense that you are moving towards the goal of stopping the elven gods, stopping the end of the world, and it's not just [like how some of the side content in DA:I was]. Helping these people, helping these groups, so that they can help you when the time comes."

In the story and tone of this game, it has the highest of highest and the lowest of lows. At the lowest of lows, "it gets gritty, it gets painful, it gets dark", but there are also nice positive moments in the game and a colorful, optimistic throughline. Corinne: "This identity is something special for the franchise now and for the franchise going forward"

"the depths of Arlathan Forest"

"In the case of Arlathan, what does it look like when you go to the place where the elves had their ancient empire that was run on and fuelled by magic? What does the aftermath of that look like, especially when the gods are out in the world and raw magic is seeping back out from the Fade."

DA has always been a series where in the world, the truth has multiple perspectives

We will journey out from the Lighthouse into the area of the Fade known as the Crossroads, "which is full of mysteries, exploration, branching paths". We will take eluvians to the far corners of northern Thedas

Some of the environments are more mission-focused, "with narrative beat after narrative beat"

"We know what's gonna happen, we know when it's gonna happen, but of course it's influenced by all the decisions you've made as the player along the way"

There are also more non-linear, more open areas in which we will be able to open up new sections of the map, find new pathways, "really leaning into solving mysteries and finding ancient treasures and some of our apex battles, there are some truly terrifying enemies that you're going to encounter when you're left to your own means to kind've explore these larger areas".

"Tevinter has always been a land where mages rule, they are in charge, they make the rules and run the show. So what does that look like? And, as we've gone through DA:O, DAII and DA:I, magic has become more and more present, and part of that is because Solas has been slowly preparing this ritual for longer than anyone in the DA universe is really aware of, but also just, going into these spaces where magic is, by definition, and by the lore, much much more present. It's been fun"

For the first time in DA BW are able to let the visuals speak for themselves (as in, the technology has caught up and they aren’t just saying 'trust us, this [magic thing] is really cool')

They took great care with how they introduce each companion and major story character

Corinne is really proud of what BW have built with the CC. "It is a game where everyone belongs"

A new to DA feature in CC: full body customization with pretty robust diversity. Body shape, body size, body proportions

They invested huge effort into their strand hair technology. There are numerous hairstyles in the game, they know how much the fans care about hair and Corinne is one of these people. They know that the range of hairstyles matters too and that it is not just about quantity. "Making sure we have diverse representation for all types of players."

They took a step back and asked, how are we going to incorporate things like your background in a meaningful way?

They call difficulty levels "playstyles". This is integrated into the CC process. You can select a number of preset experiences that your character will adopt and step into the game with, but you can also customize that playstyle e.g., if you're bad at parrying, you can ease this up

Some of the locations that we will visit are "bustling cityscapes." "We're gonna go right into the heart of the Tevinter empire. We're also going to a city in Antiva called Treviso"

Corinne Busche: "[those places] have a dense populace and we knew we needed to have the tools to support a wide range of NPCs. You will not find NPCs that look alike in this game. Each one is crafted using the same tools that we're giving to our players, with the exception of some of our custom-sculpted characters like the companions. So when you go up to that market vendor in Minrathous, you can make that character. When you see the guards patrolling the street, you can make that character too. You can therefore be inspired by the population around you and go and create that in CC."

The Lighthouse as we know is our HQ and base of operations. Each of the companions has their own sanctuary, their own room within it. These spaces become a reflection of who they are. The more time we spend with them as the game develops, as we work through their arc, their room and their personality will evolve and flourish and become more complete as they trust us and we understand them better

Corinne: "There are moments in the game where two of our companions fell in love with each other and I had to make some pretty challenging choices as it related to the quest we were on, and it broke my heart, it absolutely did"

The game tries to give the player as much agency as it can, and then reflect it back on us. Choice and consequence can be hard to show, but this is a game about agency and about giving us options

We can upgrade gear and enchant gear, this extends to the companions too

The 3 specs for each of the 3 classes are highly distinct

Every attack, every swing of a sword, when you connect you feel it, these have weight

Companion abilities can be queued up one after the other

The devs are really proud of this game and excited about it. Everything that's in the game is in there because someone cares about it. The game really reflects the dev team and it's coming together well, they are really excited for us to get our hands on it soon

[source]

[poppyflavour]

Hello, I have received a lot of messages asking for me to spread awareness about Palestine situation and what is happening in Gaza at this very moment. Although I'm probably not even half as educated about the situation as I probably should be, I'll try to say as much as I can.

Palestine is under attack from Israel. Israel has already killed over 36,000 Palestinians and the counting doesn't stop there. People of Palestine are constantly bombed, abducted, raped, tortured and many, many more awful things.

Israel has already bombed and destroyed 24 hospitals as well as kidnapped, tortured and killed over 200 doctors, leaving hundrends of wounded without a chance to survive.

Israel has attacked men, women, children and literal newborns and will continue to do so if nothing is going to change.

What Israel is doing is just plain genocide.

For more information please read official articles, for they will present this situation better than me. Here's one

How can I help Palestine?

There are many sites you can donate to that will give all the money to people in Gaza, at least one located in the article linked above.

But even if you can't donate, you can still help! There are many sounds on tiktok that you can use. The more videos under those sounds the more money is going to help Palestine

There are a few you can use:

You can use this sounds on private if you don't want to post them on your account too! It's really easy but can potentially save someone's life.

You can do much without doing much.

Free Palestine.

[upsidedownpaycheck]

Doc 101 Part 4

The Doc Tries to shock 101 back to life, his back arches but no response from him comes out XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Part 4: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[YouTube src: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNclIA-1Er8] //(incase the video is unavailable)//

"The Current was not strong enough. No!" "The Current was not strong enough. Please" "The Current was not strong enough. Your heart… I'm failing you" "Please, I don't want to lose you"

(She sits down and thinks in a panic then stands back up)

She repeats the process multiple times in vain until her last attempt. Her Resuscitation essays slowly transitions into a goodbye kiss towards the one patient she only ever truly had. "I am so so sorry, I…" Her words are swallowed up by the pain of her own throat, preventing her from speaking further …………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Phase 4: The Doc's Note ::End of Interrogation:: (A few months pass, and the Detective is awarded for going as an undercover patient 101 and is posted on the 1401 News Paper Article "Detective Private eye on The Doc") Report Status Article "Detective Private eye on The Doc" The Doc: female, well defined, late 20s, lovely and loyal Business hours: not available Cause of Death: unknown Title: A Hero Remarks: Misunderstood, Charming personality Interview: Classified Information Detective 101: "As Far as I can say, her business is closed, there is nothing to worry about, do not cheer, do not be sad. She was a bright minded person in my eyes. If only everyone could understand" Progress Status: Case Closed

https://www.tumblr.com/bloodybosom/750554315643650048?source=share

Later that night Detective 101 goes to a grave that he visits daily to read a message he keeps close at heart in secret:

"My Dearest Love,

My name is Zephyra. I have dwelled in solitude within my lair, for who am I to play arbiter of life and death? Yet, in this moment, I offer you a gift beyond measure. How can one such as I dare to tamper with another's essence, to hold a heart so precious? I felt its rhythm, pulsing, breathing, twisting beside my ear, a symphony of life. But now, that melody is silenced, a quiet that haunts me, for I believed I was doing something noble. This has always been my deepest fear.

But for you, I cast aside my doubts and give you the very heart that now beats within your chest. May it fill you with the warmth and love I have always held for you, in silence and secrecy. Live, my love, and let my sacrifice be the beacon of our intertwined fates.

you deserve a heart, one that beats for you… I'll give you mine, where ever the story goes my force of life will be there throughout your time. Thank you for your book and Quill, your life needs to go on by my heart's will.

Forever yours, Zephyra" [image from tumblr: psykopaths]

https://www.tumblr.com/psykopaths/749923038920933376?source=share

RIP in loving memory The Doc 1424-1451

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx The End xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mentions: cubbyninja420 - I know you didn't really want this kind of story but thanks for giving me the idea and suggestion in a way

I hope everyone enjoyed, feel free to add feedback, Dm if you wish to trade vids Once again, ♡ yasmine ♡ aided a lot to this. Show some love and drop a "Swiss Role from tumblr" msg to her YouTube :)

[edgyedgelord]

hey im planning to switch over to linux and need advice from the smart people of tumblr, please and thank you. my messages are open so if you need any info to help me out hmu.

General Questions:

im seeing everyone saying ubuntu, mint, and ziron are "the #1 go to versions for beginners" but like... which is it?

i also hear about security being the best with linux but nothing about it coming with antiviruses. does it come with one like how windows comes with defender or do you install that yourself, or is it something different entirely?

all the sources i look at talk about downloading and installing linux but i want to know what to expect when first getting a prebuilt pc with the OS, like the system 76 pcs. do you have to set it up like when you install it or is it as easy as getting any new computer?

i know nothing about coding and im planning to get a computer from system 76 since it seems like the best, and its by far the only source that only comes with linux, and since my current one was pretty much ruined by someone i thought could fix it after a faulty outlet fried its insides, he didnt and made it worse.

so yeah, which linux version do you suggest for a computer moron, any suggestions for computers would be nice (max price is $1,300), i'll put the specs and my uses under the read more.

Preferences:

It ONLY comes with Linux. I despise what Windows has become and don't want to even bother dual booting cause I feel with the switchovers happening they're gonna get salty and make something that'll turn your computer into a bomb if you use Linux with it.

Kinda beefy but not a supercomputer. I don't use AI stuff, I'm not a programmer, but I do frequently play modded Minecraft with my friends and run smps for my Discord servers. I recently switched to Modrinth cause ATLauncher had been giving me trouble. Curseforge is out of the question.

At the most, I'll be playing VRChat with friends while having Spotify or Youtube in the background for music and Discord open in case someone needs my help in one of my servers, similar goes for running one of my SMPs just minus the VR.

Gaming Questions:

I also play VR games often, especially BeatSaber (modded ofc im not insane), and I have Half Life Alyx that I haven't been able to finish cause my already dead and gutted PC struggles to run it anymore even with the lowest settings. My current headset is a two feet in the grave, barely hanging in there, held by tape Oculus Rift S thats as old as my current PC whos also dead. I plan to get a new headset soon and had the Quest 2 recommended to me by friends. If theres better alternatives that isn't Meta please let me know.

I'm a DBD addict. Does it really run DBD or was that just the one guy from the one video I saw.

My friends also often drag me onto Roblox so I need to know if that'll be an option for Linux too.

I know I could probably look up all this myself but every source is outdated from years ago or they all say different things and it just confuses me.

Art Questions:

My current tablet is a Wacom, I got it before knowing how greedy the company actually is, and I plan to switch to a Huion after this tablet dies on me. If compatibility is an issue with it please let me know what to do about that.

I usually use Medibang but I don't think it runs on Linux from what I've seen, if I'm wrong lemme know. Am I going to have to switch all the files over to something else before getting a Linux or are there programs I can use that'll load them?

I also write and need to know if I need to switch all my files to something else before porting it all over to the Linux PC. I just used the default notepad and document programs on Windows.

But yeah, that's all my questions for now. If I think of any more I'll just edit this post. Sorry if I sound super dumb for all this, I tried finding information sources myself but like I said all of them weren't too moron friendly or had relevant information. Most sources I found were articles or reddit forums from years ago so I thought "Hey, why don't I just go ask the computer nerds directly?" so here I am.

[daughterofcain-67]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐩𝐭.2

CEO Jensen x Plus Size Female Reader

(masterlist)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Monday has finally arrived and things are certainly smoother than expected. Jensen is certainly showing you a side you didn’t expect and it turns out that your roommate has a few surprises waiting for you.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: nothing that I can think of?

The weekend had been filled with nothing but a Smallville marathon with your roommate. A part of you wondered if Rhema was more excited about your new employer than you were. Well actually, there wasn't a doubt in your mind about that. It was obvious when she nearly blew up your phone with different articles about Mr. Ackles buying the previous company just to expand his own casting company.

In a way, Friday had felt like a fever dream.

Still, you wondered why on Earth he left acting just to go into a business like this. Being a celebrity seemed like it would be such a better option. He wouldn't have to worry about any of the stresses of keeping a business alive, but here he was in the metal casting industry. It was definitely a 180 from acting.

Now that Monday had arrived though, you had to get back to reality. This Jensen guy was like the boss of everything, so if you could just stay off his grid and below the radar then maybe you'd survive the week while the company makes their adjustments to everything.

Once you made it to your cubicle you set your computer bag down on your desk and placed your coffee beside the monitor only to notice there was a little sticky note in front of your keyboard.

You took your seat in the little swivel chair and picked up the note to read what it said.

Apparently it was just a note from the IT guy giving you the new temporary passwords to your computer and other accounts for work since they had to reset a number of programs over the weekend as you'd predicted. You placed the sticky note elsewhere for the time being before you grabbed the supplies you needed to start the day.

After you pulled out your laptop and plugged it into the office system you logged into everything using the new password from the note and thus, your day began.

Your email had changed to your first initial and your last name @newedencasting.com, that would surely take some getting used to when you were handling phone calls. Although New Eden Metal Casting would just be an umbrella for the other casting departments that were under the previous owner - at least that was what you were assuming at this point in time until further notice.

In your email, there had some video tutorials sent to you for how to use the new programs the office was required to use now and once you watched them and started to get a hang of everything, you were finally able to start your work. Each new order, product question, or order status request was assigned as a case through this new program and you started getting to work, luckily your screen wasn't too bad for the time being.

While you were focused on work, your phone was sitting on the night stand and the screen started lighting up with message notifications from Rhema. You tapped on the screen to see some of the previews of the messages and you weren't really surprised at some of them.

RS: Is he there yet?

RS: What's he wearing?

RS: Send me a picture! I wanna see! I bet he's even more beautiful in person!

Then you noticed she sent a GIF with an animated character that had heart shapes for eyes, which caused you to chuckle, though you picked up the phone and started to message back.

YN: I can't just take a picture without his consent. That would be both rude and unprofessional. Plus I don't really want to interact with him and be tense at my own job.

Shortly after that there was another reply.

RS: Fineeeee, I guess I'll have to just take to Google or Pinterest.

You couldn't help but to roll your eyes a little before you placed your phone on the stand once more and resumed your work. Then you started hearing some footsteps. A couple of sets of them rather than one and you heard some voices.

"When was the last times those machines have been replaced? Some of them look old." You recognized Jensen's voice now that you've binged some of his previous work.

"They've been here for about as long as I've been here. So I'd say maybe fifteen years or so. We get them inspected every year to see of they have any faults and repair accordingly but I'm not sure we've ever had them replaced." You didn't recognize the other voice but you were positive it was one of the managers in the manufacturing and production department.

You supposed Jensen wasn't going to waste any time in making changes, but if it's been a long time since the machines have been replaced, maybe it was time to make some changes, not that you really paid much attention. Although, now that you've thought about it, Some of your emails last week did have to deal with some product returns because of manufacturing errors.

As you clicked on one of the cases and began to read the email you could still hear Jensen and the other individual discussing the machines before they stepped into the office right beside your cubicle and one of them shut the door. You had almost forgotten Jensen was practically right beside you for the next five days.

As you handled more emails and closed more cases whenever they showed up on the screen, you realized that there was an email that required you to actually go and talk to the engineering department. So, you printed off a sheet that was in the email and went to the printer that was conveniently by the engineer in your department.

Once you made it to his office, you knocked on the door before calling out: "Dylan?"

Once Dylan heard his name he turned around in his chair and looked over at you, "Whatcha got?"

You smiled a little. Dylan was probably one of the nicer guys there, despite his reputation for being a little rough around the edges. When you first started working he did intimidate you but once you started learning from him, you discovered he really wasn't that bad of a guy. He was one of those hard-to-read people that doesn't tolerate a whole bunch of nonsense, but Natalie said he liked you so that was enough for you to not feel s stressed anytime you needed to ask him a question.

"I've got this rep that has a customer in the paper industry wanting to order a few gears but they go beyond the biggest size we've got. Do you know if there's gonna be some new molds coming in with gears that have a bigger circumference than we've got now?" You asked and you handed him the paper that has the blueprints from that email.

Dylan took the pages from you and looked over the part they were needing before he went to the New Eden website, which you were stunned they changed it that quickly but it looked to have the other business branches still in tact including yours. You watched as Dylan typed the gear model into the search bar and started looking into alternative options.

"I haven't heard anything about getting new molds anytime soon so for now they're gonna need to contact one of the other departments that will have a gear in the size they need. Forward that email to me and I'll do some digging to get them to the right part they need." He answered as he handed the page back to you.

"Thanks!" You grinned and he nodded a little in his typical stoic way before he went back to checking his other emails, so you left his office.

As you started walking you couldn't help but hear some of the other Customer Service members talking.

"Did you see the way he was dressed? I didn't think he'd be that casual after his first impression on Friday." One of them said but you couldn't pinpoint who it was. But you knew they were talking about Jensen.

"He seems friendly though, still want to know why he's spending an entire week here. As a CEO you'd think he'd have other people come by and just observe the place and then email him about what they think of the place. Still makes it tense just the fact that he's here." Well, you supposed it was good to know you weren't the only one nervous about working with him here.

"Well at least it's only for a week and then everything can just go back to normal." A third person said and you shrugged a little to yourself before you started making your way back to your little cubicle.

That was when an office door opened and both Jensen and the man he was talking to earlier stepped out. You nearly froze in your tracks since you didn't want to bump into either of them and sure enough, you saw the more casual way Jensen was dressed with the black long sleeved shirt and a pair of jeans. Maybe he was going to make some frequent visits to the shop floor. You supposed you could understand not wanting to get nicer clothes dirty if he was spending his time in the manufacturing area.

When the other guy left, you had assumed Jensen would follow him out of the office area but instead he stayed but before returning to his office, he turned and he caught a glimpse of you. He gave a little grin and slight wave, which you returned with a little wave back before he went to his office and shut the door again. You assumed it was for some kind of virtual meeting.

"That was awkward..." You muttered under your breath before you walked to your desk so you could forward that email to Dylan.

Jensen had just finished his third meeting of the day and he knew the company would need to buy new machines so they wouldn't have faulty parts returned to them. As soon as he found out there had been more product returns last year bleeding into this year he knew he'd have to find a way to fix that as soon as possible, and when he walked onto the shop floor that morning he noticed there were more waste with the wax parts within the first part of the casting process and that had to've been part of the reason for delayed shipment. So one of the first machines Jensen wanted to get taken care of were the was presses.

By the time noon finally came around Jensen remembered he'd told Hyden to order lunch for everyone before they'd clock out for their breaks. So he walked out of his office and realized the workers had gotten their lunches from wherever Hayden ordered from and Jensen decided to walk around, stretch his legs after those meetings.

He didn't get very far though since he saw you at your cubicle. You seemed so zoned-in with your work. If a fire alarm were to go off he wondered if you'd even pay it any attention. Then when he thought about it, he didn't think he'd heard you really speak much that morning unless you were on the phone.

Jensen walked up to your cubicle and observed the way you were typing away like there wasn't any tomorrow. He raised a brow before he cleared his throat a little before speaking.

"Y/N, right?"

He could tell you were a little thrown off since your typing had faltered.

"Yes Sir." You'd answered and wrapped up the email and sent it off before you turned in your chair and looked up at him.

"Is there.. something I can help you with?" Jensen sensed the awkwardness in your tone and he chuckled a little.

"First off you can relax. And quit with the 'Sir' stuff. Making me feel like I'm in my eighties or something." Then he noticed you break your poker face and a smile tugged at your lips even if it was subtle.

"Just wanted to see if the new program was giving you guys any problems. I know a lot of changes were made over the weekend and wanted to know how the CSR department was adjusting."

You nodded a little as he spoke and you tucked a strand of loose hair behind your ear since it must've strayed from the bun you were wearing.

"So far it's not too much of an adjustment on my end. It's similar to the program we used before but the tutorial videos that were sent this morning did help a lot." You answered and Jensen nodded a little. That had to be the most he'd ever heard you speak before, then again he hadn't been there that long.

Jensen wasn't quite sure what to make of you. You seemed to have a lot of indifference and from the looks of it, you spoke only when you were spoken to.

He glanced around your cubicle and started to observe.

"How long have you been working here?" He asked curiously and you paused as if you were trying to think about it.

"December 2nd would make four years." You replied.

"So when do you plan on moving into this place?" He recalled how plain looking it was when he peeked in your space Friday.

This question seemed to catch you by surprise and Jensen saw you look around your little area then he noticed the way you rubbed the back of your neck.

"Not sure. I guess I haven't really thought about personalizing this place. I'm sort of plain in that sense I guess." Jensen managed to get a chuckle out of you while you responded and he smiled a little.

“Well… think about it a little more. A plant could brighten this place up a bit, plus it’s supposed to help produce oxygen and everything.” Jensen said and he heard you chuckle a little.

“I’ll give it some thought.”

“Good… I’ll let you get back to it. If you need anything… you know where I’ll be.” Jensen insisted, gesturing to his temporary office before walking away from your spot and onto his next destination.

Eventually he came across Natalie's office, recalling she was the CSR lead. He may have to pocket that information for later. Who knew when he'd her. After roaming around the office and conversing with some of the other office workers, Jensen found himself out on the shop floor where everything would be manufactured.

Jensen was lucky that he remembered his safety glasses were dangling from the collar of his shirt so he put them on as he continued to walk around. All around him, he heard machines grinding and almost groaning with each step of the process of work being done.

He watched as one of the workers walked from their wax press and went over to some large metal box. When the door opened, Jensen saw the man reaching into the box and he pulled our a large, cylindrical tube that seemed to be filled with already melted wax before walking over to an older looking press. It seemed so outdated and old, making the process so much slower but on the flipped side, it sort of made Jensen nostalgic because this was the exact kind of machine he used when he first started in the casting industry as part of the manufacturing team.

Jensen remembered having to reach into some large, rectangular heated box that had similar cylindrical tubes filled with already melted wax. Jensen also remembered how he burned his hands the first couple of times because he didn't know what he was doing during the training process. Obviously it got better with time and he found out ways to install the tube into the press without burning himself.

Jensen also remembered the countless hours he spent at the press making all sorts of parts and making sure the wax parts came out just right. There was no room for error unless he wanted the metal piece to turn out terrible looking at the end of the casting process. There were so many times he had to make sure the wax was cooled off just right to handle in order to clean off the edges, but not so cold that it would easily break in his hands. It was sort of tough to learn the right techniques at fist but Jensen was glad he got the experience.

But that was all back in 2007 or so, the mid 2000s after he stopped acting and right before he went to school for business. So yeah, that machine was definitely outdated and he noticed there were two others in the factory that needed to be changed out for newer machines. One of the meetings this morning pretty much made that official and now it's a matter of finding a good deal on a few of the machines and how fast they'd be able to get them here.

Eventually, Jensen made it to the quality department and saw the quality team inspecting some of the items before they'd go off to shipping.

"How's everything looking?" Jensen asked one of them and she looked up.

This girl had bright red hair and freckles across her face, bold green eyes behind the safety glasses. When Hayden was introducing Jensen to everyone on Friday, this girl had introduced herself as Amber.

"So far everything's looking good. Had a couple of returns but the items were able to go to stock and we can resell those items. But there were a couple of other orders that were supposed to be replacement orders and some of the parts were iffy at best." She explained with a shrug before going to one of the boxes she had inspected before pulling out one of the items.

"From the looks of it, the wax process was the problem and whoever approved the parts to go to through the rest of the casting process seriously slacked off. Whoever was at press three didn't wait long enough for the was to cool down so in these metal fittings there are a couple of dents and imperfections." She explained as she handed the part to Jensen to inspect for himself.

Jensen took the part and looked at the piece, noticing what went wrong. Inside the opening of the fitting he could see there were some problems and on the outside there were little dents that looked kind of like fingerprints from where someone was having trouble getting the fitting out of the mold during the wax process.

"We're looking into getting new machines soon so this doesn't happen. Looks like some of the machines can't cool the wax fast enough. Plus whoever was on the inspection side needs to be trained better and know it's things like this to watch out for so they could have the wax station redo those parts. You said press three?" Jensen question and he got a nod from Amber.

Jensen recalled walking by that machine and it was another old one they'd be replacing at some point, preferably sooner rather than later depending on how fast they'd be able to find the right that's close by.

Just before Jensen was about to say something to Amber, his phone started to ring. So he handed the fitting back over to Amber to put back in that returned order pile before answering and started walking back towards the main office area.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Ackles, we found a company that can make sure we can get at least one new press here in about three weeks. But the other two you want to replace would be about a month and a half away." Hayden said from the other line.

"What are they asking for those machines?" Jensen asked and when Hayden told them the price they were looking for, Jensen thought about it.

"Send the company's info to me via email but let's do a little mor price checking. It doesn't have to be a local company. It does sound like a good deal to keep in mind though." Jensen said before concluding the phone call and hung up the phone. Then a few minutes later his phone lit up again with an email with the company's information from Hayden.

"Definitely a start." Jensen muttered to himself as he used his badge and pressed it against the black scanner next to the corridor leading to the main office area before entering.

Another day was finally over, but you had to admit it was a much better start to the week than you were expecting. And it was a lot better then the previous week for sure despite having to learn new programs and make sure the reps were sending their orders to the correct emails.

As you were packing up your belongings you couldn't help but hear some of the other CSR ladies talking as they were packing their things and clocking out for the day.

"He's a lot more relaxed than I thought he would be. For sure means business with the changes in the factory floor though. Those new machines will help the department a lot." One of the ladies spoke.

"Still, don't you think he's too pretty of a guy to be in this kind of business? My sister did some looking on the internet and found out he was an actor in the 90s and early 2000s. He was dreamy for sure, he should've stuck with that!" Another lady said.

You were sure a certain roommate of yours would say the same thing.

As you were walking towards the door, the ladies whom those voices belonged to were behind you and before you knew it they addressed you as well.

"Y/N, what do you think of Mr. Ackles?"

All you could really do was shrug. Frankly what happened that afternoon around lunch was the most you got out of Jensen and you were shocked that he even came to talk to you after you aimed to stay under his radar. Then again you initially failed to account for the fact that his office was practically next to your own.

"Oh come on, you have to have some kind of opinion about him, more than just a shrug at least!"

You thought about it and pursed your lips while you opened the door and the three of you started walking outside to your cars.

"I don't know really. I mean he's trying to be approachable which I think is important. Better than flaunting your authority and intimidating people on purpose." You finally replied.

“That’s a suck up’s answer. What do you really think of him. Like if he wasn’t like everybody’s boss, what do you think?”

You tried to think, really think about it. Even you had to admit he was attractive when he was younger. Sure he was definitely something to look at even now you supposed. What else would they want you to say?

“He’s… cute I guess? I really don’t know what to tell you other than he’d be just another guy outside of work.” You said and the other girls just snickered at you.

“You wouldn’t try hitting on him or anything like that if he were just another guy and you both just happened to be at a bar?” One of them asked, causing you to get a little flustered.

“Probably not.” You chuckled nervously, putting your hands in the pockets of your cardigan. It was an honest answer though; you weren’t exactly the one that would make the first move in public. Or in any situation for that matter if you were completely honest with yourself.

“Anyways… I’d better go. See you both tomorrow.” You rushed to your car before they could ask you anymore questions about the CEO. You were just ready to go home and maybe make some tea.

Once you finally made it home, you took your shoes off and hung your keys on the little key rack that was beside the door.

“Finally! You made it back! I thought you’d never get here! I got you a little surprise.” Rhema exclaimed with so much excitement in her eyes, you had to admit the suddenness took you by surprise.

“Um… a surprise? Did I miss something?” You asked and she giggled at you.

The next thing you knew, Rhema was walking out of her bedroom with a box in her hand and there was a corner of a blanket draped on the outside of it.

“No. But I figured sometimes you may need a little company on weekends where you want to stay here and when I’m covering shifts at work.” Your roommate explained, causing you to grow a little skeptical as she walked over with the box.

“Well? Take a peek!” She giggled and that was when you heard a little noise, almost like a whine or a high pitched squeak. You couldn’t exactly pinpoint the description of the sound. But it certainly caught your interest and you slowly peered into the box.

When you looked inside you saw a small, short haired, blue eyed, calico kitten that couldn’t be bigger than your own hand. You could feel your heart soften at the sight of the little creature looking around the small surroundings of the box before it looked up at you. You couldn’t help but break out into a smile when it started to make that noise again before you reached into the box to pick up the kitten.

“Oh my gosh, Rhema!” You said, stunned that there was even a kitten in the house. You weren’t expecting to come home to something like this. The kitten continued to let out those little noises as you held it in your hands.

“You need to work on your little meow. Otherwise you’ll be stuck sounding like a squeaky toy.” You said and Rhema giggled.

“Do you like her?” Rhema inquired and you looked up at your friend who seemed so eager to keep her.

“I do. She’s precious. Thank you.” You smiled and she set the box down and you gave her a little side hug since your other hand was occupied with this kitten.

“Oh I hoped you would! The landlord is already okay with us having her, the pet fee has already been taken care of. All that you need to worry about now is giving her a name.” Rhema continued as she let go of the hug.

“Sounds like you had this all planned out, huh?” You chuckled and took a seat on the couch. When you did, the little kitten started climbing up one of the sleeves of your cardigan. You snickered a little before you pried the little creature from your sleeve and set it down in your lap.

“Well… I wanted to get her for you last week since it sounded awful but I couldn’t do that. But I was able to stop by the pet store again today and lucky for us she was still there so I picked her up and brought her here!” Rhema admitted and sat down next to you, then she reached over and used her first two fingers to rub the top of the kitten’s head.

“Now all that’s left to think about now is what you’ll name her.” Rhema spoke.

You looked down at the little creature in your lap that was circling around before laying down like a little cinnamon roll. Your head tilted a little to the side as you started to pet the little kitten, slightly surprised that it seemed to be getting used to you already. After all it wasn’t like you were some sort of Disney Princess or whatever that had animal powers.

“I may have to do some thinking about that.” You admitted and you could hear the kitten purring, causing you to grin to yourself.

“I gotcha. Maybe sleep on it tonight. But don’t take too long! We can’t call it cat forever.” Rhema snickered and you grinned, nodding in agreement as you continued to pet the new little addition to the apartment.

“So… how did things go today? Still rough from last week?” Your roommate asked, so you began to list off some of the things that happened that day.

You told her about how it was a little easier than last week, how some things needed a little adjustment with everything as far as the new systems, rumors of new machines, more rumors of new vendors to sell the product for the different brands under New Eden. Then you proceeded to tell her about how Jensen actually came and talked to you a bit and even suggested to decorate your cubicle area. You still weren’t sure if you would do that or not. Then you told her about the questions your coworkers were asking you and you finally went home.

“Wait, why wouldn’t you ask him out if you didn’t work together?” Rhema asked, although you doubted that was the only question on your mind.

“That’s what you got out of that? I’m just not that kind of person and you know that. Plus I wouldn’t have been in the bar in the first place so that scenario wouldn’t have even made sense for me.” You said and Rhema scoffed a little before she rolled her eyes.

“So, you gonna decorate after all and make it more your own? I’ve been suggesting you do that for years - ever since you first started pretty much.” Your roommate said and leaned back into the couch before she grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.

“I’m not sure… wouldn’t it seem unprofessional?” You asked while Rhema turned on Smallville, returning to your binge watching since you two didn’t complete the series over the weekend.

“You’re kidding, right? The CEO even said you needed to liven the place up. No, it’s not unprofessional. Tons of people do a little decorating in their desk area. This weekend we’ll go to the store and get you some plants or something. Maybe we’ll get you some little lights to hang around the border of your cubicle.”

Smallville’s theme started playing through the speakers and you had to admit you found some moments throughout the day where that would be in your head for a while before a phone call would interrupt your thoughts. You did start to like Jensen’s character though since you and Rhema just got to the first few episodes he was in.

“As long as you don’t send me to work with pictures of Jensen to hang on my walls from his acting days, I think we’ll be good.” You laughed and Rhema giggled too.

“No but you and your coworkers should take some of those pictures and print out tiny copies to hide throughout the office for him to find. He sounds light-hearted enough to get a kick out of a little prank like that.”

“I’m sure some of them may have thought about that already. It’s just a matter of if they can print out those pictures without getting caught. Unless they have their own personal printers at home and they can print them there.”

“I really hope they do! You should suggest it to them! Gives you some sort of thing to talk with them about too!” You smiled a little.

“Yeah I suppose.” You said, still a little unsure of whether or not that would happen, and you felt the little calico kitten squirming a little in your lap, causing you to look down at her.

“I really should come up with a name for you.” You admitted.

“By the way… How do you feel about blind dates?” Rhema asked sort of out of the blue, causing you to glance over at her.

“What are you talking about? You didn’t arrange anything did you?” You questioned.

“No no, I didn’t arrange anything yet. But…. I have this coworker that has a brother as well as a friend. They are both single and supposedly cute but I’ve never seen pictures of either of them. It’s just an idea my coworker had and I told her that I had a roommate that’s single too and maybe it could be some kind of double-blind date.” Rhema said and you lifted about brow.

“Uh, no. I bet this is the real reason why she brought you home, Little Critter.” You looked down at the kitten who let out a little squeaky sound in response.

“It’s not! Can you at least think about it? I mean if not I’ll still go on the blind date but I just thought this could be something we could do together.” Rhema spoke and you looked back at Rhema, then over to the television screen.

Several thoughts were going through your mind. A blind date? Really? What if something didn’t work out? What if something went wrong and you made a fool of yourself?

“Rhema… I really don’t know…”

Rhema pouted a little before she poked at your shoulder, “Hey… if a date seems a little intimidating for you… then we don’t have to call it that. Maybe consider it like you’re going as my moral support? A chaperone even? I mean… a blind date is a scary idea for me too. I’m used to at least knowing the guy before agreeing to go out with them. I wouldn’t know if this guys is some kind of creep and if he is, I don’t exactly wanna be by myself for that.”

“Well… when you put it that way…” You trailed off as you looked at the kitten again.

“It’s not like it’s supposed to happen tomorrow, right now it’s nothing but an idea.” She told you and you nodded a little. You could tell she was trying to put your mind at ease, which you were thankful for.

“I’ll think about it. After all, I can’t hand my roommate over to a couple of kidnappers, can I?” You joked and Rhema broke out into a smile before she wrapped her arms around your shoulders and hugged you.

“Great! Let me know what you think by Wednesday. Maybe we can go out Friday night if nothing else.” Rhema insisted and you smiled a little.

“Wednesday… got it.”

Tag List:

@deans-spinster-witch @roseblue373 @nancymcl @jackles010378 @hobby27 @chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @blackcherrywhiskey @prettyinplaid94 @suckitands33 @muhahaha303 @winchesterwild78 @ladysparkles78 @stoneyggirl2 @kr804573 @bobbdylan @n-o-p-e-never

[gracies-baby]

Hey!!! Can you write a Gracie Abrams x female reader. The reader is a couple of years younger than Gracie. She is 20, an actress and comes from a rich family in Italy. The reader is known to be a bad girl and a player. She changes girls like she changes he clothes basically but she is very kind and adorable deep down. and then when she meets Gracie, y/n falls in love with her actually and is not a player anymore but Gracie was only with her as a dare to break her heart as no one has before. Angst with a happy ending.

Begin Again

(Gracie Abrams x Reader)

———————————————————

Breaking! Italian actress Y/n L/n and American singer Sabrina Carpenter call it quits after 3 month relationship! Fans heartbroken after this news

Comments:

We all knew this was coming. Hardly news worthy.

I give her a week before she's got someone new.

She's literally only 20 and she's had like 20 different girlfriends 💀

"They all think I'm a slut" Y/n rants to her friend as she reads the comments on the article.

"Who cares what they think? Your fans love you. These people just need to hate on successful women to feel accomplished" her friend, Jenna replies.

"I dunno, what if they're right? I mean, I do date a lot more than any other 20 year old" Y/n continues, stopping when she gets a notification from instagram, seeing someone had messaged her.

Gracieabrams

Hey, I know you don't know me and we've never spoken at all but I just wanted to see if you were okay? I heard the news. Breakups are hard. I also wanted to see if you maybe wanted to have dinner with me sometime?

"Gracie Abrams just asked me out" Y/n says, showing her phone to Jenna.

"Seriously? Go! Say yes!"

"I just got out of a relationship though. What are people gonna say?" Y/n asks as she nervously stares at her phone.

"It doesn't matter. All that matters is your happiness. Gracie could make you happy. Just try one date"

"..fine. She is really cute" Y/n replies as she types on her phone.

Y/n-L/n

Hi! Thanks so much you're so sweet! I'm okay, thanks for asking. I would love to have dinner with you btw. Let me know when you're free!

"Great! My job here is done! I gotta go now though, I'll see you tomorrow" Jenna says as she walks out of her friend's apartment.

Gracieabrams

Does tomorrow work for you? If not I can clear my schedule

Y/n-L/n

Tomorrows great! Just tell me the time and place and I'll be there

The two girls stay up talking until going to sleep, waiting for the next day.

—

Y/n

She's not here. I think I got stood up

Jenna

You definitely did not get stood up. I'm sure she'll be there soon. Just wait a few more minutes

As soon as Y/n gets the text, she feels someone take the seat opposite her.

"Hey! Sorry I'm late, I slept through my alarm and I had to pick out an outfit and it was a huge thing. I hope you weren't waiting too long" the brunette says as she takes her jacket off and hangs it on the back of her chair.

"No, not long at all. How are you?" Y/n asks with a kind smile as the two order their coffees at the counter.

"I'm great! I'm releasing an album next week, that's going well. How are you?"

"I'm.. okay. You really lifted my spirits though" Y/n says, sipping her coffee.

"That's great to hear. I've seen what everyone's been saying about you. It's such bullshit. I mean, sometimes relationships don't work out, you know? It's not your fault. Well, I don't know what happened, but I can guess it's not your fault" Gracie speaks, smiling at Y/n gently as the two walk out of the coffee shop, spotting paparazzi a few metres away.

"Heads up" Gracie says, putting her head down as she takes Y/n's hand in hers.

"So, how's a second date sound?" Gracie asks nervously.

"A second date with you sounds amazing, Gracie" Y/n replies with a soft blush.

"Great! I'm busy tomorrow but how's Friday sound?" Gracie asks with an excited grin.

"Fridays perfect, I'll see you then" Y/n replies, leaning in to kiss her lips only to kiss her cheek at the last minute, leaving the brunette disappointed.

"Play your cards right and there's more where that came from" Y/n says before gently closing the door, leaving the taller girl on the other side of it.

Y/n turns on her phone when she begins getting slammed by notifications.

Y/n L/n seen with singer Gracie Abrams leaving popular coffee shop hand in hand. New romance brewing?

Comments:

Literally not even a week after Sabrina

Gracie girl get out while you can

She was probably cheating on Sabrina ngl

Y/n reads the comments as tears fill her eyes. She opens her contacts and calls the first person she thinks of.

"Gracie? Can you come back?" She pleads, voice breaking.

A few minutes later, there's a knock on the door. Y/n opens it only to fall into the brunettes arms, Gracie wrapping her arms around her and holding tight.

"I'm sorry, I know we just met but you're the first person I thought to call" Y/n rambles only for Gracie to stop her.

"It's okay. Don't apologise. You can call me whenever you want"

"Everything they're saying about me.. you don't think it's true, do you?"

"Of course I don't! I don't know you that well, but I do know you're not a slut" Gracie replies, guiding Y/n to the couch.

Gracie continues to calm her down, waiting until she falls asleep before leaving the apartment.

The two girls go on a couple more dates before making it official, Gracie asking the shorter girl to be her girlfriend on a late night picnic date.

—

"Gracie? Are you home?" Y/n asks, opening the door to her girlfriend's apartment when she received no answer. She goes to her girlfriend's room but stopes when she hears talking.

"Gracie, she deserves to know. You love her don't you? And she loves you, just tell her" a woman's voice says from inside.

"I can't do that. She would leave me if I did" Y/n opens the door to see her girlfriend standing with Olivia.

"What's going on?" Y/n asks nervously looking between the two.

"I'm gonna go. Gracie has something to tell you" Olivia says before leaving the apartment.

"What do you need to tell me?"

"Okay.. so, uh, just remember that I love you so much. I've never loved anyone the way I love you. And you love me, right?" Gracie asks, holding her girlfriend's hands.

"Of course, what's wrong?"

"Um, when I asked you out.. it was because Olivia dared me to okay? But that doesn't change the fact that I love you now!"

"What? So what was the plan, you were gonna break my heart after getting me to fall in love with you? How could you do this?! I trusted you! I confided in you!" Y/n exclaims, voice breaking.

"You can still trust me! I will still listen to everything you say! This doesn't change anything!" Gracie pleads, tears running down her face.

"No Gracie! It changes everything! You didn't actually want to be with me! You thought I was a slur just like everyone else!" Y/n runs out of the apartment in tears.

"Y/n wait!" Gracie yells but the girl is already gone.

Y/n L/n seen leaving girlfriend Gracie Abrams apartment in tears. Is this the end for the couple?

Comments:

Y/n hit the three month mark 💀

Who tf would break up with Gracie Abrams

If Y/n doesn't want Gracie I'll have her

After days of Y/n ignoring her calls, Gracie decides to go to her apartment. She knocks on the door, only for Jenna to open it.

"What do you want?" She asks coldly as she stares at the girl.

"Please. I just need to talk to her. 5 minutes" Gracie pleads before she hears Y/n's voice.

"Who is it?" She asks her friend, stopping when she sees the girl at the door.

"Y/n please. You're not answering my calls. I just need to talk to you"

"You need to leave"

"No. Let her come in" Y/n cuts her friend off, watching as she steps aside for the taller girl to walk in.

"You have five minutes" Jenna says before leaving the room, giving the girls privacy.

"Y/n. I know I hurt you but that doesn't change the fact that I love you now. I love you so much. Please believe me" Gracie says, taking the girls hands only for her to pull away.

"How can I believe you? Our relationship was built on a lie!"

"If I didn't love you, why wouldn't I have left you sooner? Why would I have stayed with you this long?" Gracie says, watching as the other girl steps away from her.

"I can't continue this relationship knowing what I know now, Gracie" Y/n mumbles in heartbreak.

"So what if we start a new one? You still love me, don't you? We'll have a new first date and I'll ask you to be my girlfriend again and we'll rebuild our relationship and this time, it's not going to be a lie. Please, just one more chance" Gracie says, stepping closer to the girl and hesitantly taking her hands again.

"Okay. One more chance. I still love you so much" Y/n says, wrapping her arms around the brunette.

"Thank you so much! I love you" Gracie says, pulling the girl in for a gentle kiss, Y/n pulling away after a second.

"You're not even gonna take me out first?" She says as the two girls begin to giggle.

[yunjin-lover]

The Stars That Never Align

Huh Yunjin x Reader

Summary: Being famous is hard. Dating is hard. Two superstars try to make their relationship work in their drama-filled lives. Can they do it?

~Multiple chapters

Chapter Two

Y/n Pov

Los Angeles, California, U.S.A

I was in the recording studio, headphones on, working on new tracks for my album. The music flowed through me, a temporary escape from the stress of the past week. I hadn't seen Yunjin in person since our argument. Yunjin was busy with interviews and photo shoots. We texted here and there but Yunjin had texted me back in two days. The silence was starting to weigh on me. I pulled out my phone to text her but a voice interrupted me.

After hours of recording I took a break. I pulled out my phone to check my messages in case Yunjin texted back. She didn't. I check my other notifications. One stood out to me.

"World famous singer Huh Yunjin spotted with other famous singer and model Karina. Is there a collaboration soon?"

"Yo Y/n you ready to finish recording?" My producer and best friend Jake called out. I had basically been in the studio this whole week with Jake.  "Yea just give me one second-" I replied confused at the notification.

"World famous singer Huh Yunjin spotted with other famous singer and model Karina. Is there a collaboration soon?" I read again making sure I didn't read it wrong.

Yunjin and Karina?  Collab? I quickly click the notification, leading me to an article. I was met with practically 4k images of Yunjin and Karina. I scrolled down to read the article. It suggested nothing romantic which was a breath of fresh air. But it suggested something worse. That they were friends and collabing soon. There's no way that would happen. Yunjin hates Karina.

Karina and I had a somewhat complicated relationship. We dated about a year ago in secret. Karina was just on the rise and didn't want to come out publicly yet. Just when rumors that she was dating someone started circulating the news, she made sure that it was with a guy. She had been seen kissing actor Heeseung Lee. I felt humiliated and betrayed but at least no one but close friends knew we were together. Seeing Yunjin with her the pain felt fresh again.

"Y/n, are you okay?" Jake asked appearing next to me in the break area.

"I need a minute," I replied.

"I saw the article. I'll give you your space." He said exiting the break room.

I didn't respond. I just stared at my phone in silence. My phone kept buzzing with notifications from friends. I needed to talk to Yunjin. Why was she with Karina? I quickly dialed her number, my heart pounding in my chest.

Yunjin picked up on the fourth ring. "Hey, Y/n. I was just about to call you—"

"Why were you with her." I blurted out, unable to control my anger. "After everything she did to me?"

Yunjin's voice faltered. "Y/n, it's really not what you think. She just happened to be where I was at and we talked. I didn't know it would be a big deal."

"A big deal?" I echoed, my voice starting to shake. "She made me feel horrible. She humiliated me. She cheated on me so she didn't have to be seen dating a girl. And now you're hanging out with her?"

"I didn't think," Yunjin said, sounding genuinely upset. "She came up to me. It was like a two minute conversation. I didn't think you would find out."

"You didn't think," I repeated, feeling a mix of hurt and anger. I heard Yunjin take a deep breath.

"Look we should probably talk about this in person. We haven't seen each other since our argument. I'll be back in L.A. tomorrow. I'll drop by your apartment and we can talk then. Yea?" Yunjin offers.

"Yea." I replied.

"I'm sorry. I have to go. My managers want to talk to me now." Yunjin says softly.

"Bye Jen."

"Bye Y/n." The call ends.

I stood in the middle of the break room confused and hurt. Seeing those pictures opened up wounds that had just healed.Was I making this a bigger deal than it should be?

"Everything good?" Jake asks approaching me. I could see the concern in his eyes.

"Yeah all good," I lied, taking a deep breath. "Just need a few more minutes."

[blueesnow]

(10/10) ST☆RISH Special Training! - LE Event Story Translation (UR Masato, SR Ren)

Synopsis: On their "ST☆RISH Search!" program, it has been decided that ST☆RISH will be holding a summer training camp in preparation for their upcoming concert. And the destination for the camp will be on the beach! Masato who became the facilitator of the event is getting enthusiastic, along with Ren who casually providing a follow-up support. A hot and exciting summer that weaves the seven members is about to begin—!

Ch 1:

Currently on "ST☆RISH Search!" program. Natsuki: And for the "Masterpiece Drama Cooking Recreation Championship" this time! The winning member is… Natsuki: Masato-kun who impressed the judges with his overwhelming ability to perfectly recreate the dish and its delicious taste. Congratulations~♪ Masato: Thank you. Truth to be told, I'm honestly happy that I was able to win since I worked hard and even struggled on trying to express the world of it's original dish. Syo: And wow, would you look at that! It looks like the winner, Hijirikawa, will receive a great prize in return! Tokiya: That's quite a big box. As if its size could actually fit a person inside of it… Shining: That's right! And the prize for the champion is actually~, the right to decide the location for ST☆RISH's summer training camp! Otoya: Whoa!? He's really in there! Masato: S-Summer training camp…? This is the first time I heard of such an event… Shining: It's a surprise! In preparation for the upcoming concert, we're aiming to further improve your performance before then! Ren: Heh, that sounds good. …Especially if we were actually indeed talking about a proper training camp, that is. Shining: Now then, let's go and decide the destination right away. Come on, Mr. Hijirikawa! The roulette starts! Masato: It looks like our fate relies on this dart. Putting all of my soul in this one throw*…ha! Tokiya: "A tropical training camp for three days and two nights on a beach in the southern island"… It's been decided, Hijirikawa-san! Otoya: Beach huh, that's great! I wonder what kind of other candidates were left behind…Oh, there's a mountain too. Cecil: And then there's also a temple, a waterfall and… "a scrubbing brush"? Does that mean it'll be a cleaning training camp…? Shining: The training camp will be broadcast on "ST☆RISH Search!" at a later date. Stay tuned and see you! Ren: I wonder just where did he went off to in that split second. …Pull yourself together, Hijirikawa. As a winner, don't forget your message for all the ladies out there. Masato: Uh, yeah…you're right. …Although it was quite an unexpected turn of event, if the purpose of the training camp is to improve our skills, then we'll just have to give it our all. Masato: And with this, we promise you that we'll be back and show you an improved version of ourselves on the next concert. Please look forward to it.

*: Idk exactly on how to translate 一投入魂, but the jp article that I read, the phrase means concentrating/putting all of your heart and soul or going all in and trying really hard on something. It's mostly used on ball sports, such as baseball, tennis, badminton etc to boost the morale of the players.

Ch 2:

On the first day of the training camp at Saotome's private beach. Otoya: It's the sea-! Look, it's so beautiful. It makes me want to just jump and dive into it! Syo: That's right, especially in this hot weather. …Shall we go and do it? Shall we! Cecil: Uh, I-I… I'm fine with just looking at it from the distance for now. Besides I don't even have a swim tube with me… Tokiya: Otoya, Syo. Since we're in a training camp right now, please try to act and behave as a group. Remember that we need to follow the instructions of the facilitator, which is Hijirikawa-san. Masato: Thank you for your kindness, Ichinose. Although I'm the facilitator, it was all because I was appointed by the President…but I'll try to do all my best in it. Masato: From what I can confirm, the schedule is actually pretty packed. If you ever want to go swimming in the sea, please do so during our free time later. Natsuki: Wow, so there is a free time later on. I thought for sure that it'll always be a training or practice all day. Tokiya: I guess it means that it's important to take a break from time to time. It seems that the schedule has been prepared in a surprisingly reasonable manner. Masato: Without further ado, let me explain our first activity for today. First, we'll go and do some running on the beach to build up our strength. Ren: I see… I guess the unevenness of the sand will put a strain on our muscles, so we have to work out on a different muscles than the usual, is that what it means? Otoya: Although it seems quite difficult, but somehow it looks so fun! I do want to go swim in the sea but… I'll try to do my best in this and do that later as a reward after the special training ends. Ren: In that case, I have a suggestion that will raise Ikki's excitement even more. Since we're at it, how about adding a little bit of game into the mix? Ren: Instead of just running, why don't we make it into a race? That's right… the finish line should be around those palm tress over there. Otoya: That's a good idea! That would make the training a lot more fun! Masa, how about it? Masato: Yeah, it's perfectly okay. Now then everyone, please line up in a line. Take your positions… Ready, go! Cecil: It's really hard to run on the sand…! But I can't give up just yet…Oh? Syo: What? Somehow I could hear a sound like an animal's growl just now… Wait, is that a lion!? What is it doing around here! Natsuki: Wow, that's Rodriguez-chan, the animal talent from Shining Agency. Fufu, come over here~! Tokiya: What are you doing by calling it out…! If it pounce on you, who knows what might happen later!? Ren: I guess this is what they truly mean by running for your life literally…! Looks like it's going to be an even harder training session from now on.

Ch 3:

Masato: *pants* …We managed to escape somehow. Are you all okay? Otoya: Yeah. But still…*sigh* I was so surprised. That was some crazy training right off the bat… Natsuki: Yes, I had a lo~t of fun! Rodriguez-chan was so cute as always~ Syo: Cute, you say… I was chased back and forth and had all of my strength drained at once! Cecil: I had completely forgotten… This training camp was organized by Saotome himself. There's no way that it'll be an ordinary training camp… Tokiya: …*sigh* This makes the match invalid, right? Since we all tied. Ren: Fufu, then let's go and redo it on the next one. Of course we're not going to just end this by only running, right? Masato: Right. There will be a couple of beach competitions to work on your reflexes. This time it's a team event. Masato: By the way, since this is before lunch, there are already rewards prepared for it. The winning team will be given a high-quality food ingredients… Masato: While the losing team will have the usual ingredients and they will be in charge for cooking lunch. Natsuki: If you lose that means you can go and do some cooking? But if I lose then I would feel bad for the other members of the team… Ren: Haha, maybe that's why it's a team competition. I guess we can't afford to slack off. Natsuki: Yes. This time, I think I'll try and leave it to the result of the serious battle! - Masato: Okay. So, here are the results from our rock-paper-scissors game. First team will be Ittoki, Shinomiya and me. Ren: And over here we have me, Icchi, Cesshi and Ochibi-chan, huh. It's quite a nice balance. Masato: Now then, let's get started right away. The first event is "Shiritori* Beach Volleyball". Tokiya: So that means while we're playing, you're supposed to play a shiritori when you hit the ball, right. Since we have one more person over here, we can take turns on being a referee. Syo: Alright! If food is on the line, then I can't afford to lose! I'll make sure I definitely win this!! - Cecil: So far, the beach competitions have been a tie. It's a truly tight match. Ren: The outcome… I guess it'll be decided in the next beach flag showdown. This is a battle we can't afford to lose no matter what. Cecil: Yes! For the sake of delicious foods, I'll make sure I won't lose…! Masato: Ah, everyone seems to be in high spirits. Now then, let's begin with the final match!

*: Shiritori is a Japanese word game in which the players are required to say a word which begins with the final kana of the previous word. No distinction is made between hiragana, katakana, and kanji. It's like a word chain game where you play using the last letter of your opponent's word.

Ch 4:

Masato: And so, the result of the final beach flag showdown…will be decided in which team is the first one who capture the three flags, which means the winner is our team. Otoya: Yaayy! Although we barely made it, but with this we finally got the high-quality ingredients! Ren: Although it was actually quite a close match, but well… a loss is a loss. We will make the lunch with all of our hearts in it. Natsuki: Wow, so these are all the high-quality ingredients for the winning team? Matsusaka beef, spiny lobsters…. Oh, and there are also crabs in it too! Tokiya: For our part, it's just a very common barbeque ingredients. I'm relieved to see that it was actually something edible that we can normally eat. Masato: In other words, I guess this is like a sign of encouragement for our training later in afternoon. …Well then, I'll leave the cooking to you guys. Syo: Got it. Well, barbecue is all about cutting and grilling, so you can leave it to me! Syo: But still, if we had won then Natsuki would be the one in charge of the cooking, right? In a way, you could say that we're actually lucky. Natsuki: Syo-chan, did you really want to eat my cooking that badly? If that's the case, then I'll go and make a dessert too! Ren: That's a good idea. Shinomi's special dessert would be really stimulating. Cecil: W-We might get full just from eating the barbecue alone. I mean we have so many ingredients here too… Masato: T-That's right. I mean…we're also pressed for time too, so let's save Shinomiya's dessert for another time. Natsuki: Is that so…that's too bad. I thought banana with sea urchin cream sauce and raw oysters would be delicious… Otoya: Haha, you're still the same as usual. This might be quite a crazy and chaotic training camp, but somehow it reminds me back of our school days! Tokiya: Indeed. However, we're no longer students, but a full-fledged professionals now. Tokiya: …It seems to me that you have been eating more than you should, but as a pro, can you handle a hard afternoon menu later, Otoya? Otoya: Urgh. M-Maybe it's time for me to stop…. It's really such a shame but… here, I'll give my last piece of Matsusaka beef to you, Tokiya! Tokiya: No, thanks. That meat has way too much fat, and besides I've eaten plenty already… Otoya: You liar. Tokiya, you've been eating nothing but only vegetables! If you're a pro, then building your strength is also a part of your job, right?

Ch 5:

In the afternoon, during an indoor dance lesson. Ren: Phew… I guess we finally managed to get the choreography for now. Though personally, there are still a few things I'm worried about. Otoya: Eh, really? I thought for sure that it was already great just now… Masato: I also thought that we did a pretty good job too, but… if you have any concerns, then why don't you speak that out, Jinguji? Ren: …Rather than our performance, I think it's more a matter of the venue for our next concert. Ren: In order to convey our passion even to the farthest seats, I felt that we should adjust the choreography to be a bit more dynamic. Natsuki: I see… Indeed, when considering about the venue, I think Ren-kun might be right. Cecil: Yes. To think that you even paid attention to such details, I am very impressed with you, Ren! Ren: It's just by chance. But if everyone agress, let's go and try to think about making adjustment in that direction. Masato: …Wait a minute. Listening to what you've just said reminded me of something… Can we try out this device first as a trial? Natsuki: Wow… it feels so realistic. It's as if we're standing on a real stage! Syo: This is made by the Hijirikawa Group, right? As always, their technology is incredible… Masato: That's right. Although it's still in prototype stage, but it should hep us visualize how it would look like. Let's go and try it out immediately while imagining that we're in the concert now. - Tokiya: I see. Now that you said it, when we dance in this environment, you can see that the current choreography lacks an impact. Ren: Buf if we spread out too much, our sense of unity will weaken, right? I think we need to be more conscious of moving our bodies like this— - Masato: …Phew. What do you think, everyone? I felt we finally got the answer just now, right? Natsuki: Yes…I think so too! With this we'll be able to perform in the best possible way…! Syo: Alright, we finally complete it~! Seriously… I feel like everything that I had for lunch has completely been digested… Cecil: Fufu, Syo's stomach is growling. That's proof that he's been working hard— Masato: Pft, you too, Aijima. …According to the schedule, there should have been a training too after this but… I guess a slight change in order won't hurt anyone. Masato: Now it's time for dinner. You can leave the cooking to us.

Ch 6:

Masato: Sleeping on a laid out futons in the lesson room… This is definitely what makes training camp felt unique. Syo: I feel like I can fall asleep right now… I mean, it's only the first day, so I should be able to sleep normally after this, right!? Otoya: Maybe…? I mean they did made us do a test of courage even after dinner, saying that it was to train our facial expression skills… Cecil: And just when I thought that was over, there's already a game waiting for us with tomorrow's breakfast at stake! Masato: True… but just in case, I already checked and there's nothing on the schedule. The number of surprise events we've encountered for today should have been more than enough. Ren: Haha. With all the surprises going on, everyone has been totally paranoid. I'm sure that once it's over, it'll be a fun memory. Tokiya: Although I'm not denying it, but… I have mixed feelings about the fact that this will continue on for two more days. Otoya: Ahaha… But somehow this feels like our special training camp! One where you wouldn't encounter in a normal way. Natsuki: You're right. Although it was quite tough and difficult, but it was also fun and interesting… I think I laughed a lot for today too. Syo: There were also time when all I could do was just laugh at the situation. But well, I guess it means that it was fun enough that it makes you laugh? Cecil: I guess so. Even though we were all so tired, there's no one who give up and said that it's impossible for them. Ren: Why of course. If we think about all of the fans who are waiting for us, ST☆RISH, there's no way we can afford to have a weak mindset. Masato: Nowadays, we don't have that many opportunities to spend so much time together with all members. I felt like it's been a while. Natsuki: You're right. And that's why this training camp is so much fun, and such a joyful time! I'm sure that tomorrow will be the same too! Syo: Yeah! But please keep all of the surprises like today in moderation for tomorrow… - Otoya: —and then… Wait, that's right! We have some free time tomorrow, right!? Did all of you bring your swimwears? Syo: Sure did! Though even if we didn't bring any, we could just jump right into it just fine like this, right? With this kind of weather it'll probably going to dry our clothes real quick! Cecil: Uh…no… I, I can't run anymore….zzz… Ren: Oh my, it looks like Cesshi has fallen asleep already. We need to wake up early too tomorrow, so I guess it's time to turn off the light. Masato: Yeah. Let's work hard to improve our skills tomorrow, and then enjoy our time together with everyone. …Now then, goodnight.

Ch 7:

Masato: (…It looks like everyone have fallen asleep now. I was prepared for them to stay up and make a big fuss until the morning, but I guess they were all exhausted for today) Masato: !? I thought what was going on, but it was just Ittoki. Talk about a bizarre sleeping posture… let's at least cover him with a towel blanket— Ren: Heh… That's very kind of you. Masato: Shut it, Jinguji. Why don't you try to go to bed earlier during training camp? Ren: I'm just trying not to break the daily routine of my life. Ren: And besides, isn't it also the time for you to go to the bed too? Or what, don't tell me the schedule also state that the facilitator has to stay up all night? Masato: There's nothing written like that. But since I'm the facilitator, it's only natural for me to check if everyone was asleep or not. Ren: …You never change, do you. I don't know if it's because of your strong sense of responsibility or because you think too seriously. Masato: Hmph, and you're too flippant that way, And besides, since the past you— Otoya: Mmm… A happy scream is… what…? Expression skill…is difficult… Masato: O-Oh, he's only sleep talking… Let's try to lower the tone of our voices a little. Masato: But still… thinking it back again it feels so strange. On my first day at Saotome Academy, I never would have imagined that I'd still be with all of these members until now. Ren: I agree with you on that. And to think that we'd be close enough to sleep side by side like this. Masato: …We've gained valuable friends and our work is going well along the way. And in this situation, we're blessed with the opportunity to spend time together like this. Masato: Maybe… this is like a reward for everyone who has continued to work hard to become idols. Masato: If that's the case, then I will continue to work hard from now on. To be able to see many different scenery along with everyone. Ren: Heh, that's quite a romantic line even for you. …It's not a bad dream, so go for it, I guess? Ren: Now then, it's time for me to go to bed. I'm sure you'll be busy too tomorrow so you should go to bed early too. ...Goodnight. Masato: Seriously… he's still not honest as usual. But well, I can't afford to ignore his consideration. Masato: It may be a luxurious dream to be able to see all kinds of scenery with everyone, but I will definitely continue to make it come true.

Ch 8:

Early morning on the coast of the beach. Masato: (I went out for a walk, but I guess it was way too early to wake up…Hm?) Masato: This is… a very magnificent morning sunrise. I wish I could have seen this with everyone… ???: If that's what you think, then go and invite us, Masa! Masato: Ittoki…and all of you…! Tokiya: When I was about to leave for training, they all woke up…so I decided to bring them along as well. Syo: Whoa, it looks so beautiful! I need to go and take a picture of it. Natsuki: That's a great idea! Let's take a video as well. The way the sky gradually turns blue is also a beautiful scenery too. Cecil: It's not fair for you to see this view alone, Masato. *yawn* …I wish you'd woken me up. Masato: Forgive me. I don't know if it's a good idea asking you all to go with me for a walk this early in the morning. Ren: I'm sure you were trying to be considerate in your own way, but isn't that what they call being a standoffish? Natsuki: Fufu. But in the end, we were able to watch it together like this, and I'm rea~lly happy♪ Tokiya: It's indeed beautiful. It looks like the lights when they illuminating the stage. Cecil: Excellent! And if you think about it, the sound of the waves…sounds like the applause from all the fans. Otoya: Oh, it is! We need to keep shining even more so that we can continue to receive more applause. Syo: You're right. Let's shine even more brighter than the sun and continue to illuminate everyone! Ren: How does it feel watching the sunrise together with everyone, Hijirikawa? Now one of your dreams has finally come true immediately, isn't it? Masato: …Yeah. I'm really glad that I got to see this view with everyone. Tokiya: Now then. Since we've talked about our big dream, we must first overcome this training camp in order to make it a reality. Masato: You're right. For the sake of the place and scenery we're aiming for… let's start today with building up our strength by running. Tokiya: Yes. Now then let's get started… Ready, set, go!

Ch 9:

On the way home after the training camp. Syo: Three days and two nights… it went by in a flash, but I feel like I've accumulated a week's worth of fatigue… Cecil: Yeah… I'm going to float rose petals in my bath and indulge myself for a lot of healing today. Otoya: I'm so tired~! But somehow it was so satisfying, and I feel like we can perform much more better than before！ Tokiya: You're right. Maybe we could have a training camp once in a while for the purpose of improving our skills. Masato: There were so many candidates in the roulette too. If there's a next time, then maybe going to the mountain might be a good choice. Cecil: Speaking of the roulette candidates… in the end, just what exactly does "scrubbing brush" even means? Tokiya: It's useless to think about the ideas of Saotome-san's way of thinking. More importantly…thank you for all of your hard work as a facilitator, Hijirikawa-san. Otoya: Even though it was already hard enough just to get through the training camp, but you were also considerate and took good care of our surroundings. Thanks, Masa! Cecil: We were able to perfectly adjust our performance thanks to the projector that Masato brought with him! Syo: Yeah. The MVP of this training camp is definitely Hijirikawa! Thanks, man. Natsuki: You're probably more tired than all of us, so please eat some delicious food and get plenty of rest for today. Masato: Everyone… Likewise, I'm sure there were things that I didn't do as well as I thought, but hearing you said that made me happy. Ren: Well, that was quite a good job even for you, I guess? I thought for sure that you'd probably get too worked up or nervous and ended up lose track of everything. Masato: Who's getting worked up and nervous, you say? I hope you could stop making assumptions on your own. Natsuki: Fufu. You two are still the same as usual. I'm sure you'll be good friends too even during tomorrow's recording! Syo: Recording… Ahhh!! That reminds me! I still haven't filled out the survey for tomorrow's recording! Cecil: That's right! I was thinking of writing it after we're done with the recording last time, but then the training camp was suddenly decided… Ren: Don't tell me… it looks like all of us ended up forgetting about it. Oh dear, things aren't going to be easy until the very end, are they? Syo: Dang it~ Looks like it's time to have an extended training camp in the dorm common room…. To be honest, I'm already at my limit but we've got no choice but to finish it… Let's go! 6 of them: O-Oh~!

Ch 10:

15 minutes before the concert starts… Syo: And therefore, now that we finally showed everyone the scenes from our training camp… Otoya: That was a lot of fun, right. Of course we're not only just playing around, but somehow that feeling was much more bigger for me! Natsuki: I felt like I ended up smiling the whole time because I was so happy to be able to spend time together with the seven of us. We also got to meet Rodriguez-chan too. Ren: I agree with you on the former, but for the latter part… I think everyone apart from Shinomi had a pretty tense expressions on their faces. Tokiya: That one, the circumstances were what they were at the time… But, I believe that even the crazy training, no matter how absurd they are, had its own merits. Cecil: Yes. Although I feel tired of it, but somehow I felt much more stronger than before! The performance that we all worked on together turned out perfect too! Cecil: I think we had the best training camp ever in preparation for our concert. Right, Masato? Masato: Yeah. As we overcome challenges and worked hard together, our bonds become even more stronger along the way. Ren: We'll show you how we've powered up in our next concert, so please look forward to it! Masato: Well then, to everyone in the venue, please wait a little longer. ST☆RISH: And that's all for the special pre-show episode of "ST☆RISH Search"! - Syo: *pants* …Damn, that's amazing…! It's so amazing that I'm at loss for words…! Otoya: Yeah…! I think that's the best performance we've ever done so far…! How's it, everyone!? Cecil: Fufu…Thank you. It was worth all the hard work and effort we put while thinking about all of your happy faces. Masato: It goes without saying that we always do our best, but…somehow this stage felt a bit special. Tokiya: Yeah. I feel like our goals become even more clearer after the training camp ended. Natsuki: To become idols who shine brighter than anyone else, to shine a light and illuminate everyone here in the venue…that's our hope and dream! Ren: Ladies! We'll be making every corner of the venue shine, so will you please watch over us closely? Masato: …This beautiful scenery, I'm so grateful that we are all able to share this with each other. And— Masato: Everyone, I hope that you will continue to follow us. To the new stage that we will light up!

[fangirlingfromdownunder]

A Sweet Mishap - Chapter 20

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader 

A/N: I just want to start by thanking everyone for all the love on this story so far. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list. This chapter is a little heavier (as is the story going forward, but I'll include potential triggers for each chapter as relevant), so please read the TW below and only read on if you feel comfortable doing so.

Potential Trigger Warnings: no warnings

A Sweet Mishap Masterlist | Main Masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

As the reality of making it on Broadway sets in I dedicate myself to self-improvement. I go for lengthy walks or jogs daily either before or after work depending on my shift. I call or text Jensen whenever we can, and decide to give a relationship with him a real shot. 

But, as the week goes on and he prepares to go back to Vancouver to start filming and I busy myself with night rehearsals, work at the cafe, and prep work for my classes, all while attempting to maintain a healthy sleep schedule. My contact with Jensen eventually drops back to sporadic text messages and a range of missed calls on either side. The one thing keeping me from a major meltdown is knowing my best friend will be back Sunday and I’ve already got a coffee date planned for Monday morning.

When I finally lay in bed on Saturday night, getting some much needed relaxation I scroll through my social media feed. Thanks to Jensen’s surprise stunt at the wedding and then his run-in at the barbecue joint, his face is all over my feed. I scroll through the lists of speculations about a secret girlfriend or project in New York. The adrenaline and secrecy makes me smile, but at the same time I’m terrified of the truth coming out before I’m ready. I send a few of the articles to Jensen. Minutes later he’s calling. As I answer I can hear music and other voices in the background and I instantly feel guilty for disrupting his night. 

“Hey Darlin’. Relax. I know about the posts. That’s one of the things my agent called about the other day. I’m handling it.”

“I’m sorry, did I disturb your night? You sound like you’re out. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have-”

“I just haven’t had a chance to bring it up, but I’m here now. It doesn’t matter where else I am. You need me, so I’m here. Take a deep breath for me.”

I throw my head back on my pillow and take a deep breath, “There’s no way you’re real…”

“It makes me disappointed in my gender that you think that. It means your standards are low.”

“You don’t exactly get high standards when you’ve dated the people I have…But I really don’t want to talk or think about them. What’s your plan?”

“To treat you like my queen. Prove to you that you deserve the world and that you’re my number one.”

“I uh…I meant about the rumours…But that sounds amazing. It’s not gonna be easy, but I’m rooting for you.”

I hear another voice call out on the other end of the line, “Hey Jensen, go easy on my top shelf whiskey! And get back in here!” I figure it’s just someone else at the party or bar or wherever he is.

“I’m comin’!” He calls out before lowing his voice again, “I promise I’m gonna handle it all, so you can just focus on becoming the star I know you are.”

“Thanks. Sounds like your friends are missing you. You should get back.”

“Only if you’re sure you’re okay? No brisket?”

“No brisket, I’m okay now. I should get some sleep anyway.”

“Alright, Darlin’. Sweet dreams.”

I hang up and snuggle into my bed. 

After a long few hours in the cafe, I sit back at the counter in my apartment infront of my laptop. I fill out the digital forms to drop back to part-time study. I figure with getting fit, rehearsals, work and my new, budding relationship I just don’t have the time or mental capacity for the extra unnecessary stress and workload. And last night just confirmed in my mind that I need to focus on my mental health and wellbeing. Feeling a little disappointed but also relieved, I submit the forms and then focus on the required reading for the acting classes. 

After an hour and a half my eyes are straining and my stomach is growling, I shut my laptop and walk around the island bench to find something to eat. As I make a sandwich I keep glancing over at my face-down phone As I sit down to eat I quickly flip it over and slide up for notifications. I notice a missed call from Stella. I quickly call her back, excited to hear from her after what feels like the longest week ever. 

“Hey, Bestie! How’s married life?”

“Amazing! I’ve had the best week ever! I can’t wait to tell you everything tomorrow!”

“Abridged, please. I need a PG version, M at your worst. You can leave out the X-rated stuff, which I know there would have been plenty of.”

“That takes out 90 per cent of my week! Nah, you know what Nick’s like, we did plenty of PG-rated activities.”

“Speaking of Nick, shouldn’t you guys be enjoying your last afternoon and night before the official end of your honeymoon?”

“You would think…But Mr. Reality-check got back to reality the second we touched down. He’s busy checking mail and paying bills and then onto meal prep. I guess it’s good one of us wants to do that…”

“I’m sorry…”

“I know who I married. It’s sweet really, cause I know he’s only doing it to make the transition easier for both of us, and he knows I’ve been dying to hear your goss!”

“We agreed to talk about everything tomorrow…” I say trying to deflect as I start to pace.

“Yeah, but I’m only gonna get an hour for lunch and that includes travel time to and from the cafe. And I need more than the 45-ish minutes that we’re gonna have left. So, tell me about you and Mr Tall and Sexy.”

“There’s honestly not much to tell…We are a maybe something…a far-fetched possibility…”

“There’s a story there…You need me to come over?”

“No! No…You need to be at home with your husband. In other news! Grease? The audition YOU signed me up for…”

“No way! You got it? Who? Sandy? Frenchy?”

“Understudy…and…Female Student number three.”

“Well, you’re gonna be the best damn Female Student number three to ever bless that stage!”

“That’s the plan, but also, chances are over the six week run I’ll get at least one matinee show as the lead.”

“When that happens, I’ll be in the front row.”

“I know you will. Thanks.”

“I’m glad you got a part. I was worried I was gonna have to get you the junior HR position…”

“Broadway is where I want to be. I’m willing to work for it. It’s my first role and it’s a great position. No one lands the lead as their first role…except for probably Jensen Ackles,” I add under my breath.

“What’d he do? You always wear the blame but it’s always the guys in your life taking advantage, so what did HE do?”

“Nothing…I’ve got so much work to do before classes start this week, and I’ve got rehearsals most nights.”

“Hey, I’m your best friend. You can talk to me.”

“I’ve just got a lot to do. I’m thrilled that you had an amazing honeymoon and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. But go enjoy your night with your husband…”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“I know. Enjoy your night.”

“I plan to. Don’t get too in your head about whatever’s going on.”

I sigh and hang up. As I try my best to refocus on the text about tone and enunciation, my mind keeps wandering back to the night before and the endless rumors that I’m caught in the middle of.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Taglist: @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27, @n-o-p-e-never, @deansimpalababy,

@winchesterwild78, @kr804573, @chriszgirl92, @smoothdogsgirl

@speakinvain, @deans-baby-momma, @1967winchesterimpala

[tmwcs]

hi, this is my first time sending an ask I really don't know how stuff here works jdjsjs but i have body dysmorphia and lately it's been getting worse so will it be possible to write something for ethan/heeseung where he finds out y/n is on a diet or is skipping meals because she has put on a few pounds & feels insecure, like she refuses to sit on heeseung's lap because she thinks he will notice her weight gain, tries to suck her stomach in and usually heeseung goes with her when she wants to shop for new lingerie or clothes but she's too embarrassed because her size increased so she refuses to take him or uk? things like that. I'm sorry if these type of scenarios are triggering for u and it's perfectly fine if u don't write them🤍

My sweet anon, I have decided to put your ask ahead of the line bc i feel like the drabble/heethans message is crucial for you to read and for everyone to see because i can't stress the fact that while I may not know you, see you, or hear your voice, trust me when i say you are perfect and beautiful the way you are. i'll let you read first and add on to my notes on the bottom ;) but i hope you enjoy this and that i succeeded in giving you what you were expecting. sorry this isn't proofread because i had to do this piece on my phone in my moms car as we were driving around running errands. but i hope its still a good read ( i personally think it is) <3

warnings: body dysmorphia, thoughts of anorexia, starving yourself, refusing to eat, self body shaming, insecurities, fear of body shaming, i think that's it.

"Masterpiece"

Sitting at his desk, Heeseung types away, grading papers and completing the tasks for his professor as the teacher's assistant. Its a good thing he gains extra credit and extreme leverage with the staff at the college, otherwise there would be no appeal in participating in this program.

Walking up to his mini fridge, you opened the door and grabbed two water bottles. Atop of the fridge were some snacks, and for a moment you thought it be harmless to munch on a few sweet potato chips, but feeling how heavy your gut was shunned you from the idea.

You hand him a water, to which he looks up and smiled at you delightfully as he takes it. "Huh, thanks baby." wrapping his arm around your hips, he pulls you in as he looks at the screen, yet your reflexes and instinct caused your body to shift movement and roll right out of his arm. Twirling like a ballerina, you played it off as you sat on his bed and issued a half hearted chuckle as you sipped your water.

Raising his brows and giving a confused chuckle, he merely found it playful and let you be as he continued grading his papers. Finally when he was finished, he stretched his arms and legs, and eyed you down as he watched you reading some articles on your phone.

Sitting himself next to you on the bed, his hands make their way on to your waist, and you jolted as you tried to move away once you felt him lifting you to sit you on his lap.

"no wait...!"

Looking at you with a raised brow and wide eyes, he took your hesitancy as he normally did. "Playing hard to get again?" biting his lip, he chuckles, "You know that only fuels me.....does pretty baby wanna be chased?" he leans in and teases as he nuzzles his face into your neck. "you can ruuuuuuun but you can't hiiiiiiiide."

You peeled yourself away and scooted into the opposite corner of the bed where you cradled your legs to your chest, and gave him a bold faced lie. "I think i might be starting shark week soon.....i'm feeling lots of cramps and pain....i just cant right now."

Avoiding eye contact, you slightly bit your lip as you spoke, feeling the somewhat perturbed look he was giving you. "....okay. did you need me to pick you up some stuff from the store?"

Shaking your head, you remained turned away as you continued to shun yourself away.

"well come here and let me hold you at least."

"no......its fine."

"oh i wasn't asking y/n."

"heeseung no!"

Pulling you against your wishes, he lays you down as he spoons you and grabs the remote, "its okay y/n, how many times do i have to tell you, I dont mind if you get blood on me. its no big deal."

But it was a big deal......because you weren't about to start your menstrual cycle nor were you feeing any cramps, the only pain you were feeling were that from hunger. You don't know how, but you had recently gained five pounds and ever since, you hadn't looked at yourself the same. Every time you see yourself in the mirror, you shun away, swearing that you looked much swollen than the previous day. Not to mention, the amount of water weight you were containing from all the restrictions you were placing on your diet. Since you began starving yourself, your body had reacted by storing more water, thus, you even began drinking less, causing yourself to feel dehydrated.

Over the next week and a half, you hardly ate, claiming you didn't have an appetite at all, in which Heeseung would give you a perplexed and concerned look, figuring that it was all due to your menstrual cycle that you kept using as an excuse to avoid his touch and food.

"huh....shark week this time around must really be bad.....i'll at least go get you some soup and some water." he would tell you, always remembering that during your menstrual cycle, you would get certain cravings for snacks and was always thirsty.

The hunger pains were excruciating, yet the moment you had to suck in your breath just to squeeze in your jeans, you felt like you needed to do more to shed the weight off.

the other day, you and heeseugn walked through the mall, peeking into a variety of shops, to include clothing boutiques. as you walked through the store, you reminded yourself that you needed to get some new undergarments. walking ahead, you looked around until you found the lingerie department. Thankfully Heeseung didn't seem to notice how you avoided looking at any of the pieces, trying not to give off any bit of interest and risking him wanting to see you in it. trying to distract him, you asked if he wouldn't mind going to the other end of the store to get you some slippers. to which he declined as he refused to let you out of his sight.

"but....we can knock two birds with one stone if you would go grab it while i get a couple of thins from here."

"its fine, grab whatever you need and we'll go get your slippers right after."

"but......"

"y/n.....i said go get your things."

harshly snapping your arms across your chest, you shut yourself out and murmured out "i change my mind, i dont want anything from here, lets just go."

"what the hell is wrong with you?"

"nothing, i just....i just dont really need anything from here, they dont have what i'm looking for."

shaking his head as he rolled his eyes, he takes your hand and falls into your pool of lies.

After another week had passed over, you swore you didn't look the same as you had, did you gain more weight? why did your jeans and tops feel tighter? With the sudden image in your head of how swollen your body must have looked, you took things further by avoiding water and food altogether, committing to acts such as pretending to eat, or claiming the food wasn't tasting right at the restaurant. At the theater, every time Heeseung handed you the popcorn as he often would get you both a large bucket to share, you reached in and grabbed a few kernal's but hid them in your pocket or in your empty drink cup instead of eating it. You had done your best to remain inconspicuous of the matter.

"Does he think i look different? what if i gain weight and he might think i look fat? will he leave me? what am i going to do?"

Each time you looked in the mirror, your hands would travel and pinch out rolls of skin from your tummy, thighs, under arms, and even on your cheek. You swore that you not only saw the weight, you could now feel it in between your fingers as you snagged on skin and bits of fat content from your body at random. Deciding to take it up a notch, you even started to commit to cardio exercises while avoiding calories and water altogether, barely munching on a cube of cheese every 48 hours when the hunger pains began to be too much.

With the amount of water you were avoiding, your skin began to look sunken and rather dull, yet it didnt matter, you needed to refrain from anything that would allow you to gain another pound. You avoided the scale, only opting to glance at the mirror from time to time which had caused your mind and heart to shatter, because despite the fact that you were starving and dehydrating yourself, you swore your body had looked immensely bigger than the day before.

"I look fatter.....i can't, maybe instead of cheese....i'll munch on a grape or a piece of carrot.....i'll just drink a half a bottle water next time."

Your mind was racing, the only thing you could think about was how you hated your body and the way it looked from whenever you would peek over to look in the mirror.

The day that you dreaded the most finally came when heeseung became relentless, as usual, and was adamant about touching his "pretty baby" after not being able to enjoy you for a full week from 'shark week'.

"Come here."

"no heeseung no!"

"Oooooh yes.....come here......"

"no...please stop!"

"being tenacious about this whole cat and mouse thing aren't you?" he smirks, teasing and mistaking your hesitant reaction as a playful gesture of toying with him. Leaning into your ear, he whispers "where you gonna run? hmm?" following his words, he sucks on your helix.

It wasn't until his hands traveled upward and slid under your shirt, touching your skin. You jolted out of his grasp and shouted "NO!!!!!!"

Lifting his head up, grabbing onto your wrists and displaying a harsh, and rather angry look on his face, he sternly warned you.

"........did you just fucking scream at me?" biting his lip down and hissing, Heeseung expressed his intolerance of your behavior. Never have you ever shouted at him to that degree, and he wasn't going to take it.

"do i need to punish you or teach you a lesson? hmm? am i too nice? because if you want me to be mean about it, i can. which way do you want it y/n?" his words and his tone were harsh, he stared into your eyes with a look of displeasure and anger. With tears forming in your eyes, you began to sob.

his expression never changed, in fact, he merely spat out even harsher words as he taunted you.

"cry all you want, it's not going to change a damn thing. you know that, right? so fucking pick how you want it, and say you're sorry already, because one way or another, you're going to get wrecked."

with the already set intention of punishing you for your discretion of shouting at him, you sobbed hard as you turned your face away and whimpered out...

"i'm.......i'm....just.....i'm hungry......."

raising his brow, he shifted his eyes up and around, reflecting his mind working as he leaned his head slightly inward. With furrowed brows, his expression remained reflecting anger and annoyance, yet his tone was rather confused as he bid you to elaborate. "what?....."

you sobbed and whimpered out your cries as you broke down, all the while Heeseung had you pinned down under his frame.

"I'm hungry.....i'm mad.....i'm upset and i just....i feel so weak. the headaches wont go away and they're getting worse, i can't....i .......i cant....."

His expression grew even more stern as you continued to throw out words that only confused him. It was angry, yet.....he only looked angry because he couldn't understand.

"What are you..." stopping at mid sentence, he props himself up while pinning your arms to your sides. Leaning his head in as he remained hovered over you, he grabs your chin and forces you to look at him.

"Breathe, y/n. Breathe, deep breaths...." he guides you as your panting gasps from sobbing so hard became unbreakable at a high pattern of rapid bursts.

"shhhh.....breeeeathe....." his tone softens, bidding as he guided you, you started to relax your breathing and breathed deeply as he committed in getting you to relax. "that's it.........slowly........there...."

Once you had finally calmed down, the streams of your tears continued to fall down, despite your bursts of sobs coming to an end.

"Now.....from the top, tell me what is wrong."

"...........I can't.......i just......i'm so..."

".....hungry?" he raises a perplexed brow as he leans his face in, flaring a slight bit of an attitude as he gave an expecting look to you.

"yes......"

"and.......why are you hungry?" with a tone that hinted he was aiming towards something, he was forcing the information out of you as he coaxed you into opening up.

"........i wasn't.......i wasn't on shark week....."

taking a deep breath in, he looked at you as he blinked in disbelief. "......what?"

"I wasn't.....i.......i had gained weight and.......i hate the way i feel......the way i look......."

shifting his eyes from left to right, reflecting his confused state, he leaned over to his propped arm as he shifted his free hand over to his mouth and stroked his chin. "....so all this time....when we were out.....the restaurants and the theaters, all those times-" cutting himself off, he rubbed his forehead and sighed out "fuck...." as he rubbed his temples. he noticed that you weren't eating, yet your constant white lie of telling him that you were on shark week, or that you remained bloated after the fact because of the water weight, had directed him to believe you and causing him to think that you merely were just skipping out on a meal or two, not days or weeks worth.

"when was the last time you ate y/n?"

shamefully, you couldn't even remember the last time you ate a small meal, let alone a full one. going on nearly two weeks, you had barely munched on anything, even a mere snack.

"i....i dont know...."

"you dont know?....how the fuck? what have you been doing? have you eaten anything?" he snaps as he looked at you with wide eyes.

"....i.......i eat a piece of cheese and half a water..."

with his mouth parting slightly, he watched as you start to shamefully sob once more.

"......what did you do to the sandwich at the bakery earlier? he asked.

"i.......i threw it out when you weren't looking...." you admitted, shamefully apologizing as you recounted to pretending to eat on some of the occasions that heeseung went to take you to a shop for lunch or dinner. you had become so crafty in telling white lies and hiding the fact that you weren't eating, not even he noticed your lack of nutritional consumption.

Rubbing his temples harder, he gazed at you with wide eyes. ".....why?" he calmly asks.

"Because i hate the way i look.........i've gained weight and i cant take it!" you gasped out as you sobbed out hard.

letting you sob, he continued to look down at you and patiently waited for you to get everything out of your system. once your cryings came to a standstill, he gently tones out "you done?"

With a harsh expression, you looked at him with furrowed brows. how could he be so heartless? you were struggling and you both knew you were unhealthy, not just physically but you were struggling mentally to gain positivity of your image, yet he had no compassion in his voice or his words.

"....w-what?" you stuttered out.

"I said 'are you done?'....or do you need to cry some more?" he asks, still reflecting a harsh look on his face.

looking at him, you shifted your gaze down, feeling too confused, somewhat angry and hurt by his lack of sincerity on the matter. in fact, it had distracted you so much that you truly were done crying.

"looks like you are. get up." lifting himself off of you, he grabs his cap and pulls you off the bed, handing you your jacket.

"wh....where are we-"

"come on." cutting you off, he takes your arm and applied harsh force as he dragged you out of the house and into his car.

"stop! i dont want anything! i'm not eating anything, i wont!" you snapped out, figuring he was taking you to go and feed you.

"shuddap y/n and get in the fucking car before i make you." he sighs out as he inadvertently swallows his words and pushes your head down, shoving you in the passenger seat.

driving, you were somewhat surprised that he passed by a series of eatery spots that you both frequently visited. You grew even more confused when he took you to the international museum of art down town.

parking the car and buying the tickets, you figured he was taking you to the museum to get your mind off things. yet his forceful mannerisms remained as he dragged you passed each cultural zone, passing nearly every exhibit.

"why did we come here if we're just going to walk pass everything?" you inquired somewhat irritated from being pulled around, not to mention him never once turning back and giving you an answer.

"what are you doing?" you gasped out as he walked fast paced, dragging you closely behind. still being unresponsive, he continued to pull you through the crowds as he took you to the set destination that he had in mind to show you.

Walking passed a series of statues, walls adorned with cultural masks from Africa, another was draped with silk wall paintings from Asia, he swiftly pulls you past each exhibit, causing you to wonder where exactly he was bringing you to. taking sharp corners, walking up a myriad of stairs, you started to lose your breath as he continued to drag you behind, walking through the halls of scenic crafts that the museum was known for.

finally coming to a pause in his steps, after bringing you across the other end of the large building, he pulls you by his side and wraps his arm around your waist as he pointed towards a massive wall and calmly instructs you to "look."

Looking over in the direction of where he was pointing, you witnessed a wide display of paintings decorating the wall.

Narrowing down to one specific painting, he pulls you in and brings you in front of the portrait.

"who is she?" you asked while studying the painting.

"That's Cleopatra, known throughout history as the most beautiful woman in the world. she was 4'11 in height, and carried enough weight to conceal some of her pregnancies." he sharply stated. Looking up at him, you portrayed a rather blank expression as he continued to stare at the painting and opened up on his pensive thought aloud.

"One thing I'll never understand, is how can we as people, claim to be more progressive, understanding, and wise in today's day in age, more so than we were back hundreds of years ago? we tell and teach each children to not discriminate, yet we do it all the time to ourselves. There is nothing in the world that is more diverse than beauty itself, it is the most ethical and divergent concept in the entire universe, but somehow, we can't learn to embrace the varied notion behind it. We can't accept the belief that it comes in all forms and variants. We sometimes look at ourselves and can't find happiness or comfort, because we place restrictions and shame on what is actually beautiful and meaningful. It might be because of our upbringing, fashion, media, or ....shit, it could even be our own parents or friends....it could be anything these days. But one thing i know for sure baby, is that you're more than perfect the way you are, even if you gained some weight. it never bugged me, in fact, i think it brings a more feminine quality to your body."

Shocked with a wide eyed expression, you looked up at him and inquired for him to elaborate his statement. "You......knew?"

Smirking at you while rolling his eyes, he pulled you close to his side. "Y/n......when are you ever going to get it through to your head girl, i love you and i'm crazy about you, and i pay close attention because i find myself wanting to see, taste, hear, and experience more of you. so yeah, i knew, and i see nothing but goodness in it, plus i care more about your comfort, i have no reason to be concerned so long as you are happy. listen to me really closely when i tell you baby, these women all made history and shaped the world, they all carried different skin tones, body shapes, sizes and status, but the one thing they all had in common was their beauty, and you, are the ideal reflection of each and every single one of them and what they stood for. i can understand if you may want to change something about yourself, if you're not happy about gaining weight or you don't feel comfortable, that's fine. I'm not going to try and change your mind, just be healthy about it, eat well and exercise. but if you wanna take my word for it, the way you are right now, even if you had gained more weight, gain twenty more pounds for all i care, i see nothing but a masterpiece. if today's society would have remained just as it did hundreds of years ago, where people were smart, philosophical, and creative, you would have been looked at and idolized as art........you are.....art." he trailed off, as he held your hand and gave you a reassured smile.

"Don't think you have to change a thing about yourself......you're my Cleopatra, and every single second of the day when i get to look at you, i think of these portraits and wished to God that i could paint one of you to hang up on this very same wall. you belong with these women.....you've earned your place among them." squeezing your hand gently, he kisses the top of your head.

He was right, if you truly wanted to change and shed the weight you've gained, there was a way to do it, yet suddenly after hearing him talk and feeling his touch and kiss, you didn't mentally place so much emphasis on your body anymore. thinking about the weight gain didn't have the same affect on you, you didn't feel shameful, gross, or discomfort, quite the opposite in fact, you were now beginning to see the good qualities of the weight gain. Your curves were more full, giving you a more feminine appeal, which Heeseung had loved. your skin was softer, and your face was far more youthful looking as your cheeks had a nice supple shape. you were still as beautiful to him since the day he saw you, and that itself had made you happier than ever. heeseung didn't love you because of the weight gain, he loved you for you, and everything that comes after only made him love you more.

smirking back, you joked back a response. "so......if i want to change my hair......and cut it really short, will you let me?" you chuckled out.

"no." he gently laughs out. "there are some things that should just not be altered......like the beauty of the world..... your face......your hair, your sense of style, your personality, and your good nature. i want those to stay forever.....in fact, i want you to stay forever." pulling you in, he places a long kiss on your forehead.

"lets go grab something to eat, and if you want, tomorrow i can take you to the gym on campus. Only if you want to."

shaking your head, you calmly tell him as you hug him back, while staring at the painting of the Egyptian queen. "no......i feel better......if i change my mind i'll let you know......but i am good now.......thank you."

placing another kiss on your head, he whispers "good girl. from now on, if something is bothering you, come talk to me and we can fix it together....if it even needs fixing.....i love you and i see nothing but perfection within you." with another kiss, he stares back up at the painting, where you both admired for a while before leaving the museum.

Of course, one trip to the museum wasn't going to fix your problem overnight, you suffered at feeling shameful and anxiety from looking at your reflection, but it didn't hurt so bad....now that you had Heeseung to remind you nearly every day how beautiful you were to him; little by little, he was healing you. There were even times where he would participate in the healing process and would get you both a healthy salad for lunch, salmon for dinner, take you on a long nature walk, or maybe even take you to go swimming at the pool at the college. never being forceful about it, heeseung was bringing out the highlight of your energy and focus, and relocating your mentality to all the activities, causing you to focus less on the images and thoughts of your body. at the end of each event, he'd kiss you lovingly as he reminded how good you were to him, always reminding you when you needed to hear it most.....

"you're a masterpiece. if Gods own angels combined their efforts with the greatest painters and architects, they still couldn't make something more beautiful than you. i could have a hundred variations of you, and it still wouldn't even be enough, i need you in my sight all the time, you're everything to me. so let me feast. let me fall in love all over again......let me appreciate and love the lines and curves of you, and let me kiss every single inch of you, the more of you there is, the happier i'll be. because i want to kiss you more...i want to love you more....i want to fuck you more. i just want more......so let me have more of you....let me have all of you......let me have you the way you are now and let me have what you will become in the future days that come forth. dont deprive me of that......just let me have you.....y/n. I promise, you're always going to have me."

-fin-

authors notes: i ran into a girl one time who was bald, completely hairless, but i didn't even pay any mind bc the only thing i could focus on was how happy she was that she was alive and well. she had the biggest smile on her face and i had found that to be the most beautiful thing i had ever seen. my mom and i both nearly cried because it was so beautiful. we also saw an article of a former beauty queen and pageant title holder who had only one leg bc she had something that required her to get the other amputated, yet she was promoting how happy she was to be alive and well. i'm recounting this bc there are days (i am only human after all) there are days where i find something about myself that i actually detest and i even at one point, had convinced myself that i was someday going to get a boob job bc when i was 14, i absolutely had fat content on my body whatsoever, literally a walking skeleton and all the girls at school had such beautiful feminine curves. I remember there was a boy that i kind of had a crush on, but when my friends were teasing and told him "what if reina says she likes you?" boy flat out said "i dont like skinny girls, especially boobless ones." (it was something along the lines of that, i can't remember the exact verbiage) and it shattered my heart lol. i used to tell my mom every day that year, that when i become an adult and i get a job and make my own money, the first thing i was going to do was get breast implants. but oddly enough, when i turned 16, i started to get a little something....not as much as i would like, but i have more than what i had at that age and honestly, i found myself to be happy with it, especially being 19 now. i find myself changing and caring about things i never cared about before, and not caring about things that i used to care about. its so weird how that works. but one thing i will tell you, what matters is that you're healthy, safe, adn happy. i hope you overcome your trials and become stronger, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and i hope that heethan's message will help you with that. because i do believe you are a work of art ;) i personally think we all are....women are just the prettier sex to me, so i find women, no matter how she is built, to be fascinating and beautiful. <3

Enjoyed this piece? Show love and treat your girl to a cup of coffee. ♥️ 

☕ Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/reinbow

[moondyad]

sometimes i scroll all the way over to that "news" section on my phone and see random articles recommended to me by google. today i was met with this article:

(you don't have to read it or give it any traction, it doesn't deserve that. it's simply here for context)

confused by the title, i was hooked into reading it. but the conclusion was simply, "My Lady Jane almost got as many renewal signatures as The Acolyte got, so the fans who did sign the petition are a vocal minority." and then went on to say this:

and i went "oh". these questions told me everything i needed to know about the author, he was a cis white guy. i scrolled to the end and sure enough, i was right. it really pisses me off when people are so entitled that they think something is just for them and should never branch out into appealing to other demographics. watching a cis white man protagonist in a movie or series never bothered me, why does it bother a cis white man when that situation is reversed, unless it comes down to bigotry?

forgotten what they are? the original trilogy was anti-war messaging and influenced heavily by a Japanese film, The Hidden Fortress. like frankly, shut the hell up. i'm so sorry that you got 7 (the new one making it 8) movies and ~7 series where a protagonist was a cis man who you could relate to. why is it so wrong to have media be "something for everyone" without the implicit reason being to alienate poc, lgbtq, or other minorities from your fandom.

yes, there is this almost weird corporate pandering where minorities get shoved in a role to be the "token", we generally don't like that shit either. we don't want half-baked representation. having a black woman protagonist just... being on the screen, is not "woke" corporate pandering!! what do you do if you pass a black woman on the street? scream, cry, throw a fit? i'm sorry to tell you that people exist?

i know this fandom is full of older white men, but i am continually surprised by the general narrow-mindedness and lack of media literacy that is so prevalent among them. when they willfully ignore the more progressive messaging of the original movies, it's like the alt-right manosphere space using The Matrix as a "stop being a societal sheep" metaphor when the directors and writers of the movie were two trans women who intended for the movie to be a metaphor for transformation. i won't say transness explicitly, because both of them were closeted at the time of making it and admit they only knew how to depict that in the form of their character, Switch, who was a trans allegory.

i for one was left with more questions than answers at the end of The Acolyte. i am a very lore-focused individual and tend to dissect things with the culmination of the information i know. but i did not hate the show. the characterization didn't have enough time to breathe for decisions to have felt earned, and just in general the pacing was quite fast. the newer concepts like heavily grey characters and Osha/Mae being the same person were very exciting to me, and i had hoped to learn more about Qimir in the next season. now i'll never get that chance.

if criticisms of the show stuck to the fast pacing or plot holes, we wouldn't be having this discussion. i like to think that one day these older fans will recognize the irony of their stances, but it might just be wishful thinking.

[femmmie]

THE ISLAND

Here is the first chapter of my 25k Smosh fanfic. I'm so excited to share it with you 💓 I will post a new chapter every day until the story is over. If you rather read it all in one go, that's okay too, it's all up on AO3.

Chapter 1: The campaign

Ian gets interviewed about his run for president of the USA. Amanda, an attractive and sharp reporter, catches his eye. Meanwhile at Defy HQ, someone else's adventure begins...

Chapter word count: 1.194

Rated: I guess general, or teen?

"So, you in fact did NOT have sex with your staff worker's sister?"

"What? Hell no! Why would I even? Okay look, I know it's very exciting for you and every other outlet that asked me this same question. Wow, a presidential candidate is single. But at least be a little classy? Don't go and snoop around my love life."

"Of course, mister Hecox. And what will you do, as president of the United States, to combat the climate disaster?"

"Look, miss Lehan-Canto, I think we both know I'm no expert on the subject. But I've been in talks with research institutes who devote all their time to finding solutions. That's who I listen to now, and I'll continue to listen to them when I'm in office."

"Very good. Thank you for this interview. People.com readers will be happy to hear you care about the future of our beautiful planet."

"Of course I care. Musk and Gates may have left orbit, but I'm sticking to Earth, thank you very much. As president I'll fight every day for our right to exist!"

"One last question..."

"Alright?"

"Then why are you taking money from Defy Media, the consortium spreading propaganda for Big Oil?"

"Ah, I see you've done your homework. But, like, what am I to do? Not take their billions? I need to get my message out to the people, so they know their choices. And, as you well know, that costs a lot of money."

"But doesn't it compromise your integrity?"

"That's for the voters to decide. I think my platform is straight-forward."

"Thank you for your time, mister Hecox."

The room was very bright, with big windows and a high ceiling. It was perfect to take presidential-looking shots to publish along with the article.

Ian Hecox sat down on a modern, green arm-chair.

A tall, young man wearing a bandana took the pictures. "Uh-huh. That's perfect."

With every flash, however, Ian's mind conjured up all kinds of horrible scenarios.

FLASH

His eventual and utterly unavoidable assassination.

FLASH

Or if his adversaries wanted to be sneaky, a 'sudden' and 'unexpected' death.

FLASH

How many minutes would he last as president?

"Mister Hecox," Bandana implored Ian. "You're looking very regal, but maybe a couple of shots of you looking relaxed would help your image of being a, you know, a more approachable guy?"

The reporter stayed around during the shoot. She gave Ian a look, like she knew something about him he himself didn't even know. It was strangely intriguing.

They wrapped up.

"Wow, you have REALLY blue eyes, man," miss Lehan-Canto said, taking Ian aback. "I was trying to ask some tough questions, but I kept getting distracted haha."

"Uh, thanks?" Ian stifled a nervous burp and tried to laugh it off. But the reporter walked up to him, until they stood closely together. She was very tall.

"I promised I wouldn't pry into your love life anymore... But I have to ask. How come you are still single?'

"Haha. I- Well," Ian tried to look anywhere except straight in front of him. "I don't know either. It's not like I haven't tried. It just hasn't worked out before. But truly, miss Lehan-Canto-"

"Please, call me Amanda." Amanda was rubbing Ian's arm with her perfectly manicured nails. It was wildly distracting.

"Okay, Amanda. And please also just call me Ian. Ever since I announced my campaign, I haven't had any time to date, or anything. I'm, I'm sorry. You're very beautiful. Gorgeous even. Ten out of ten. But I, I have to think of the people who put their trust in me to give it my all. To try and finally steer us in the right direction."

Amanda traced Ian's shirt's neckline, a disappointed pout on her face.

"I understand. Well, if you become president-"

"WHEN I become president." Ian gave her the old smolder. It worked, because she giggled. Her smile was white, wide and inviting. The skin around her big, brown eyes crinkled.

"-When- you become president, will you give People.com an exclusive?"

Ian softly put his hands around Amanda's waist and looked her in the eyes. "I promise."

"Very good." Amanda smiled as she turned around and walked away. Before exiting the door, she turned around once more and gave Ian a wink.

~

"Ian, that was very nice and all, but..."

"I know, I know."

Ian’s campaign team had been observing the whole interview from a corner of the large room. Shayne, his advisor, always worried most about optics.

"Do you, really? If that photographer took any footage of you cuddling it up with miss Lehan-Canto, they have blackmail material against you now!"

"Like I give a fuck if people see me flirting with a beautiful woman!"

"People need to know you are focused on your job, Ian."

"That was exactly what I was telling her, Shayne."

"That was what your mouth said, but your eyes and hands told another story," Courtney – Ian’s campaign manager – interrupted, trying to lift the mood.

"Ah, what can I say. I'm a red-blooded, all-American guy. And you two should talk! You guys have each other."

Ian’s campaign team was very close-knit. It was basically him, Shayne and Courtney. They also had a merch team led by Kiana. They’d developed a mutual trust very fast and were goofing off like this most of the time, when they didn’t have to be serious. Shayne turned to face Courtney, putting his hands around their waist, exactly like Ian had just done with Amanda.

"Oh, miss Lehan-Canto, you're so tall and beautiful! Please, will you kiss me?"

"Why, mister Almost-President! Anything for MY Commander in Chief!"

Shayne and Courtney started fake making out, but their body language couldn’t lie. They were really enjoying this.

"Alright, you made your point. Now go back and do your job!"

"Yes, sir."

They got their bags and went outside, down the hill where their vehicle was parked.

The surroundings were beautiful. Subtropical flowers everywhere, old trees and shrubs and a cobbled pathway downward. The heat made it difficult to enjoy the view, though. Wading through the outside was hell these days.

~

The Defy HQ boardroom was not much more than your standard office with a nice view. The table was fancy though, and the chairs just a little more comfortable than those in the rest of the building. One guy stood up, gesticulating while speaking to the rest of the board. They were all men in suits. But the guy just wore a shirt with rolled up sleeves, and glasses which were rimmed at the top.

“You know, in this crazy digital age, presidential campaigns need something to appeal to the younger demo.”

“What are you suggesting, mister Dilford?”

“I’m talking crazy memes and cheeky tweets!” Sweat was seeping down Dave Dilford’s temple. “We have to embed ourselves in pop-culture, swim in it! Or we risk losing to Watcher’s candidate.”

“You’ve got a point there. So, how much do you need?”

“That’s what I’m talking about! Together, we will make the electorate giggle all the way to the ballot box.” Dave walked around the room, fist-bumping every board member.

[noneedtofearorhope]

Understood that there’s no mandatory anarchist reading. Do you got any cool recommendations for anti-civ and green anarchy tho? I read Blessed is the Flame already and am interested in more

perhaps the coolest might maybe by chance be the ecodefense guide to monkeywrenching. focused on ways to attack and move toward the sort of future we seek.

im always recommending low-tech magazine, especially the solar powered version of the website (if you really want to go hardcore with it, you can also order the printed website). not really explicitely anti-civ, insurrectionary, or even radical (i seem to recall some rather reformist lib vibes at some point, but idr, so don't quote me), but focused on what a future/prefigurative society could look like, which i think makes it appealing for appealing to those not aligned with anticiv etc.

perhaps less specifically anti-civ and more broadly "post-left" is this article from do or die, which was a magazine you may find interesting as it was 'the voice of the british earth first movement', however ive only ever read this article tbh 😔😓😭

here are all 10 issues of do or die. i wouldn't necessarily recommend just reading thru them in order, but rather look at the various article titles and just follow whatever catches your interest

crimethinc has a lot of different voices going on, and they've changed over time, but overall they generally vibe pretty well with anticiv and green anarchy. to mix it up a bit and give your brain a bit of a rest, i'll recommend specifically pickaxe, but again just go browse what they have and follow your heart

i'd also like to give a shout out to zines and the punk scene. go to some shows if you're able, connect with people, hopefully someone is tabling, or maybe there are still some infoshops around and they got a show there, find a book or zine to read between or even during bands (great for if you're the type who is afraid to go to shows alone too btw)

could probably go on forever but hopefully that's some good leads for ya. enjoy.

[lichoulychou]

You're losing me

Actor! Credence Barebone x Actress! Reader

Modern! Au

Summarization: You and Credence are actors that had been in a relationship for quite long and one day a new love team surfaces between him and nagini.. The more it had continued on you feel abandoned and unlove so you decided to...

Warning: Angst, mentions of cheating, love team, Reader feels abandoned by credence, arguemeants, Sad ending, cursing, and insecurities.

(I'm bad at english so please bare with me)

Before all the events, Credence had texted you.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Credence: Love!!

Credence: I got the role for the movie I applied for!

Credence: All tho I'll have to have a new lead actress for this one, would it be okay for you?

(Y/N): That's great for you love!!

(Y/N):Ofcourse its okay! Literally its our job!

(Y/N): Goodluck!! Don't tire yourself out much!

Credence:Ofcourse! I'll never forget you even if I have someone else as my co-star..

Credence: Loveyou!

(Y/N): Loveyoutoo!🩷

------------------------------------------------------------------

After all that it had been crumbling for you, you felt happy for him at first ofcourse. Then suddenly it just all crashed down, he had been giving more time to the girl than you. It made you feel insecure, you felt as if nagini was prettier than you, she'd always been but it hurt you.

The more time had passed more articles would make rumor's about them being together, and each time it never failed to hurt you. Most of their fans hated you, always commenting how they look better than you and credence being together.

But as you broke down your phone buzzed, a new notification from him. He finally texted you again. He reminded you about something..

------------------------------------------------------------------

Credence: Hey, get ready we have a date night.

Credence: But we have to be quick, me and nagini's manager wants more publicity action.

(Y/N): Ok careful driving.

(Y/N): Loveyou hun :)

Love🩷 Reacted to your message 👍🏻

------------------------------------------------------------------

He always said "I love you back" now all he does is either leave you on read or react to your message, your credence had grown distant to you and it made you feel so lonely and cold. How did someone so sweet turn so cold and unresponsive? You sighed as you thought more about how much he's change ever since he got this role. He spent more time with nagini now.

You can't leave him you thought, hey it's for his career right? Maybe he'll turn back sweet again and be the same old credence he was. You tried to re-assure yourself as you got ready in the shower.

After you got done you did your hair and make up. Hoping that psyhically he'd still be sweet and cheerful. As you finally put on your shoes, you hear the doorbell ring. It must be credence, you thought to yourself. After you opened your door it really was credence and he looked tired and cold. But most of all he didn't give you flowers like he usually did. Back then even if tired he'd give you a bouquet or a single flower. Now not even anything, but still maybe it was just nothing maybe he had just forgotten since he had been tired.

------------------------------------------------------------------

(Timeskip)

You guys had arrived in the restaurant, still Credence still seemed to be un-energetic. You didn't want to annoy him or anything so you decided to stay silent until both of your orders had arrived.

As the more you zoned out, you didn't realize that the food that you guys had ordered finally came to your table. You hear most of the plates clank as it hit the table snapping you out of your thoughts.

"So how was your day today hon?" You finally spoke after the silence you both endured in the car and upon entering the restaurant.

"It was fine, everything was tiring but nagini made it fun atleast" He said mentioning her name again, it made your heart feel like it was shattered for a thousand pieces. So you just nodded and took a bite out of your food.

After he mentioned her you felt like you lost all energy to even talk about anything to him. So you just stayed silent before he finally spoke first for the first time in the past few months.

"Are you fine?" He said, it made you feel happy that he finally noticed something was wrong, but still this was the bare minimum right?

"No, I'm not. Its just this days you can't even seem to spare me a single glance. It feels so cold without you. Even in your day off's it feels like you spend more time with your co-workers" You said finally confessing how you felt.

But instead of re-assuring you he suddenly got annoyed. "Jeez (Y/N), its our literal job that I would risk if I gave you more attention that this goddamn movie! Its like I should give you all of my attention, I just want a goddamn rest mygod!" He yelled at you and it made you feel so upset and it made you more lonely than you ever used to have.

After you both ate, you both just rushed in the car and didn't talk as he drove you back to your house.

Neither of you said sorry, you just got out of the car. He didn't even walk you to the door he just left immediately his car roaring loudly as it left.

You suddenly got a notification from your manager saying that there will be a gala for tomorrow night.. Which also means Credence was invited and it would make both of you look awkward, but hey he'd probably be just hanging out with nagini so what's there to worry about now?

------------------------------------------------------------------

(TIMESKIP TO THE GALA NIGHT)

As you got ready the more you anxious you get, you tried to re-assure yourself but you couldn't handle it.

Suddenly you get another notification from twitter it was an article.

"Nagini and Credence spotted together last night hugging each other?"

You'd see the whole article and if you said it didn't bring such a huge sting into your heart people would see right through you.

Finally you were done and ready to go to the gala, you wanted to cry and breakdown as the time passes on. You just wanted to call credence and seek for his comfort but you knew not to settle for less so you decided that you'd confront him this night.

You snap out of your thoughts when you remember that your driver had honked his car outside to let you know that he had been there.

------------------------------------------------------------------

You finally arrived in the place that you all had been assigned to, just as soon as you stepped out the flashes of the camera's blinded you but you continued to strut down pretending that you felt confident despite everything that has happened in your life.

"So (Y/N).." You hear a cheerful voice besides you and when you look at them it had seemed like they were an interviewer.

"Oh my! Hello! Rude of me not to notice you were right there.." You said once again faking your feelings as you didn't want to bring anyone's mood down.

"So (Y/N) how do you feel tonight? You looks so stunning... You're so beautiful like a goddess has walked on earth definitely!" She said complimenting you, it had sent a deep wave of happiness to your heart as this sweet girl complimented you so nicely and sweetly. It didn't feel like every other interview where the interviewers had been plastic and all.

"Oh I'm fine for now.. But I hope the rest of the night goes well and I just hope everything turns out happy. Also, thank you for the compliment and oh my gosh you look stunning in your own little uniform" You said to her returning her compliment in a thankful manner.

"Aww thank you Ms. (Y/N) , I hope you really do have a fantastic night at this gala." and with that she left you now starting to interview more of the peoplw that had arrived.

Finally after all of the interviews and photo's you saw him and.. Nagini..? I guess it is for their contract after all. You decided to just finally let yourself be free and start drinking.

------------------------------------------------------------------

(Few hours later)

You were drunk and tipsy, you had drank atleast 10 glasses of vodka and 3 glasses of beer. You suddenly felt yourself march up to someone, It was Credence and he wasn't with nagini or anyone at all.

"You! how could you! after eveything we've been through you're gonna choose her over me Credence!?" you'd yell at him as no one could hear you both. You guys were at the balcony after all, a balcony that no one would know you were both up in.

"(Y/N) leave me alone.. You're stressing me out.." Credence said with a tired tone like he had yesterday

"You're losing me babe" You said in a painful sob

"Do something babe please, I still need and want you" You choked out

"What are you talking about?" Credence said sounding almost irritated now.

"Its me or her Credence." You said in a spiteful yet drunk voice.

"Lose something babe, risk something please" You said as you started to violently sob.

"You cannot make me pick between you (Y/N)! She is my friend! I cannot pick between you both!" Credence argued.

" Is she just your friend or do you fucking love her Credence! Is she just a friend or you fell for her while I was suffering feeling all those thoughts as you were seen happy! It all felt like a knife was cutting me deep inside, I felt so lonely credence. I felt so vunurable! You fucking lost me Credence." You said yelling as you cried feeling all your emotions explode. After that you had not waited for him to respond as you finally ran away and called for your driver.

But after you ran you could hear him call for you, it almost made the world feel like it had slowed down but you didn't let it happen and continue to run.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi! I'm gonna do another on of this where it starts with (Y/N)'s pov but then switches to credence so we finally know how he felt about this whole situation. So I'm probably gonna use more taylor swift's songs to emphasize my stories. In the next part I might use dress or cornelia street;))

[ardenenearde]

Effective altruism sounds super interesting, id love to hear what you learn from it (and how you apply it if comfortable?)

Hi! I'm sorry it has taken me so long to answer you. I saw your ask like the very same day, but the thing is I'm still learning about it! I was hesitant to answer you because I'm not an expert, I'm just at the very tip of the iceberg.

But, I won't leave you behind because it's something that I really think everyone should know about. So, I'll share with you the resources that can help you start getting involved, just as I am.

My journey started, honestly, watching this video by Elizabeth Filips. There's no need to watch the video, really. On minute 14:43 she recommends the book 80,000 Hours by Benjamin Todd, for which you can get a free paper back edition here.

80,000 Hours starts with the question: How can I find a job that truly makes me happy? It answers that you need, among other things, a job that allows you to help others. How can you help the most people in the best way? That's what they describe as a "high-impact job". And in a very broad way, that's what effective altruism is.

80,000 Hours is also an organization, you can visit the website here. It has tons of articles (you can find the book scattered in the articles, but it's nice to have it all together in a book) and resources like a template to make your own career plan. When you get here (like a did just a few months ago) you'll have grasped a broad understanding of what it is.

In the link above you can see three books: 80,000 Hours, The Precipice by Toby Ord (I'm currently reading it) and Doing Good Better by Will MacAskill (I have the book but haven't read it yet). I recommend you read the three books.

80k Hours is part of the Effective Altruism (EA) movement. Here is where my knowledge starts to shrink. EA is also an organization (website). Really visit the website and read the most you can to get an idea. They also have a ton of resources.

What would I recommend for learning more about EA? Get into the EA Introductory program (I just got into one, it'll start in January but it's already closed, but they open new programs often). It lasts two months and it's completely free.

80k Hours and EA are connected, they're basically made by the same people. They give all of this stuff for free because they really think the best way we can truly make an impact is if we have more and more people with this mindset, so more and more can have a high impact.

The real question is, in my opinion, are you the people who get this mindset? Because, for example, I've tried to convince my boyfriend for the past two years that he should be here on EA and I just can't convince him. For me, just a few arguments were enough to get fully involved. When that happens, I forget the rest of the arguments because it's obvious to me now (and maybe that's why I just can't convince my boyfriend) and I just think, "how can you not see it? What else do you need??" For me, getting more and more involved (and taking action) is now a moral and ethical obligation, which I'm truly happy to do.

On a side note, I'm also very religious and the more I read about EA, the more I see it is aligned with my faith, so the more I want to do it. Note that EA is completely secular, so no religion involved, this is just my very own personal experience.

I'm sorry I'm basically referring you outside to do the reading and learning yourself, but I truly think it's the best way.

I hope this helps and if you read these books and start getting involved I'll be more than happy to discuss any questions you have and maybe we can learn together eventually. You can send me a private message if you like. You can also follow me on my sideblog, where I post my most academic stuff, and I plan to start posting about all of this. Again, sorry for taking so long to answer you.

[shiningwonderland]

Syo Kurusu (Repeat)

Translator: Raz (Twitter: agnadance)

Editor: Snail (Twitter: herbert_snail)

February — Renforcer Feelings

Syo-kun has been overseas for two weeks. We've been sending text messages to each other, but I still don't know his results.

I hope that everything will go well…

Syo Kurusu: Yo!

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun!

I run towards Syo-kun the moment I see him.

Syo Kurusu: Um… I'm back…

I feel like Syo-kun looks more mature after the two weeks he's been gone…

Haruka Nanami: Um…

Select the Phrase!

元気？Are you doing well? (+0 Love +0 Music)

Syo Kurusu: Idiot. Yeah, I'm good as always.

He pokes me in the forehead.

Ahh, Syo-kun hasn't changed at all.

Even after coming back from a trip from the States, he is still the same.

2週間ぶりだね。It's been two weeks. (+20 Love +0 Music)

Syo Kurusu: Yeah, it really has been. Were you lonely?

Haruka Nanami: Yeah, a little bit…

Syo Kurusu: I see. I… wanted to see you, too.

おかえり。Welcome back. (+20 Love +0 Music)

Syo Kurusu: This is kind of embarrassing…

Haruka Nanami: I-I see. I guess it sounds like we're newly wed or something.

Syo Kurusu: … How about I do a "I'm home!" kiss?

Haruka Nanami: Huh?!

Syo Kurusu: Idiot, I was joking. We can't kiss… at least for now. Remember?

Haruka Nanami: Y-You're right…

Haruka Nanami: Then, um… How was it? Did you meet the doctor?

Syo Kurusu: Yeah… My condition is rare, but there have been a couple of people with my same condition he cured through surgery.

Haruka Nanami: Then…

Will he be cured? I try to ask, but Syo-kun opens his mouth first.

Syo Kurusu: But…  I was told the chances of the surgery succeeding is 50%.

His words are cool and collected.

Haruka Nanami: 50%?

Syo Kurusu: If the surgery fails, I may die.

Haruka Nanami: That can't be…

Select the Phrase!

翔くん・・・Syo-kun… (+20 Love +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: I… want you to be healthy and be by my side… I don't know what to do with myself…

Syo Kurusu: Haruka… I want to be with you always, too. But at this rate, one day…

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun…

Syo Kurusu: Don't make that face. I'll be fine, got it?

He hugs me tightly as tears well up in my eyes.

Syo Kurusu: I was told to carefully discuss whether or not I should have surgery with my family.

Syo Kurusu: I'll keep thinking about it. I don't want to make you cry… Wait for me.

Haruka Nanami: … Okay.

やめよう。Don't do it. (+0 Love +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: Up until now, you were never in danger of losing your life, right? So maybe… you don't have to take on this risk…

Syo Kurusu: No… I’ve always had a risk of dying.

Haruka Nanami: But…

Syo Kurusu: Either way, if I do the surgery, I would have to stay overseas again for some time, but I still haven't decided what to do yet.

Haruka Nanami: Then you don't have to do it.

Syo Kurusu: This isn't something I'll decide on immediately. I'll think of something that will work out best for you and me.

Haruka Nanami: … I understand.

どうするの？What will you do? (+10 Love +0 Music)

Syo Kurusu: I haven't decided yet.

Syo Kurusu: The doctor told me to think over it carefully. Either I undergo surgery while being aware of the risk, or give up on it and continue the way I am now.

Syo Kurusu: I wonder which one would be best. How about you? What do you think I should do?

Haruka Nanami: Huh, me? I don't know… If the surgery fails…

Haruka Nanami: But… I want you to be healthy…

Haruka Nanami: I can't choose either… I have no idea what's best.

I almost break into tears but Syo-kun pats me on the head.

Syo Kurusu: This isn't something that can be decided on quickly, huh? Well, there's still time so I'll keep thinking about it. Sound good to you?

Haruka Nanami: … Yeah.

I return to my room and research about Syo-kun's condition on the internet.

I read a couple of articles about it, but I'm still not sure if I should figure out what to do on my own or say something to Syo-kun…

These articles aren't giving me the answers I need.

Haruka Nanami: Haa…

I sigh to myself.

Kuppuru: Meow…

Kuppuru meows as if he's worried about me and rubs himself against my legs.

I pick him up, place him on my lap, and pet him on the head.

Haruka Nanami: Hey, Kuppuru… What would you do?

Kuppuru: Meow?

Haruka Nanami: So there's this person I like and he's suffering from a serious health condition.

Haruka Nanami: There's a way to cure him, but it's risky.

Haruka Nanami: If the surgery fails, he may die…

Haruka Nanami: There's only a 50% chance of success… The same chances as flipping a coin…

Haruka Nanami: I just want him to be healthy.

Haruka Nanami: But… I also feel that I want him by my side, even if it means he keeps having his health condition.

Kuppuru: Meow…

Kuppuru looks at me with worry.

Haruka Nanami: … I'm fine. Don't worry about me, I'm just at a loss…

Haruka Nanami: What I'm doing doesn't make sense. No matter how much I worry, nothing will change. Syo-kun is the one who has to make this decision…

Haruka Nanami: Huh? Strange… I didn't mean to start crying…

Why won't my tears stop? 

I bend over on my desk and cry. Kuppuru jumps up onto the desk. 

He licks my face to comfort me.

Haruka Nanami: Thank you… Kuppuru…

I end up falling asleep.

…

While I have a comforting dream, I feel a warm hand constantly rubbing my head.

Haruka Nanami: … Hm?

???: Have you awakened, my princess?

Haruka Nanami: … Who are you?

I wake up and find myself being embraced by a stranger.

He has clear eyes, hair that glistens like the feathers of a black swan, lightly tanned skin, and chiseled facial features…

This person… doesn't look Japanese.

Cecil Aijima: You can call me Cecil, my princess…

Princess…? Can this be…?

Haruka Nanami: A dream…?

Cecil Aijima: Yes, I suppose so… This brief time where our bodies touch is just a fantasy for this one night…

Ahh, I see, this really is a dream…

Haruka Nanami: … So where did you come from?

Cecil Aijima: The country of sand… The land of mirages and red roses… A star overflowing with song…

Sand… Red roses… Star?

Haruka Nanami: Ahh, I see, you're a star prince…

Cecil Aijima: I see you call me a prince even when I am like this, my princess?

Cecil Aijima: You are truly my Mana, my eternity with no falsehood.

Cecil Aijima: And yet now, you are lost in the forest of mist enveloped by the deep darkness of the new moon.

Cecil Aijima: As long as there is a sliver of light from a star that guides you, the mist would clear, and the flower that is your smile will bloom under the sun…

Haruka Nanami: ???

Cecil…-san gives me a look of pity.

This is a dream, right?

Cecil-san pushes up my bangs and gives me a gentle kiss on my forehead…

Wah! Wh-What kind of dream is this…?

I'm in love with Syo-kun… Why am I dreaming about this man?

This man is a prince… a prince from a star…

Syo-kun… I'm so sorry…

Haruka Nanami: U-Um…!

When I open my mouth to speak, Cecil-san quickly pulls his lips from my forehead.

Cecil Aijima: Did you feel my aria?

Haruka Nanami: Huh?

Cecil Aijima: It is not significant, but I am sure with this that you will be blessed with protection by Sirius. 

Cecil Aijima: Sirius' dazzling light will be the sword that will cut down your hesitation. 

Cecil Aijima: When that happens, that will be when you will discover yourself.

Cecil Aijima: I believe in you, your song, your heart… and the future that you deserve.

Select the Phrase!

歌・・・？ Song…? (+0 Love +10 Music)

Cecil Aijima: Song… That is the soul of Agna.

心・・・？ Heart…? (+0 Love +10 Music)

Cecil Aijima: A sea filled with tears does not suit your heart, which holds an irreplaceable, cherished galaxy hidden deep within.

未来・・・？ Future…? (+0 Love +10 Music)

Cecil Aijima: Though darkness paves your way, your future holds precious moments for you to attain.

Cecil Aijima: Hesitation clouds the sound. A beautiful song cannot be brought forth.

Cecil Aijima: Is this the time for you to weave words? No.

Cecil Aijima: If you must show what is in your heart through sound and music, then the answer has been decided.

Cecil Aijima: Am I wrong?

Haruka Nanami: Um…

I feel like I'm getting the gist of what he's trying to say. Show my heart through song?

Cecil Aijima: … Clouds are covering the moon… It seems that my time with you is coming to an end.

Cecil-san kisses my eyelids.

Cecil Aijima: I hope… your sound reaches him.

I feel his lips leave me. I open my eyes and see that Cecil-san is no longer with me.

Haruka Nanami: So he really was a dream? Even so, that was very strange… Right, Kuppuru?

Kuppuru: Meow!

Haruka Nanami: "I hope your sound reaches him"...

I whisper his words to myself and start writing on my music sheet.

The next day, Syo-kun and I start practicing for the graduation audition.

Syo-kun looks cheerful as always.

But…

He's… pushing himself, isn't he?

Haruka Nanami: …

I stop the song without a word.

Syo Kurusu: What's wrong? Don't stop the song midway, I can still keep going.

Haruka Nanami: We should stop for today, Syo-kun. You're… pushing yourself too far.

Syo Kurusu: You're worrying too much. I haven't even sung for an hour. Usually I go for two…

Haruka Nanami: I can tell when I listen to you sing.

Haruka Nanami: If you keep pushing yourself too much, you'll break your body and won't be able to sing anymore.

Syo Kurusu: I won't break… That won't ever happen.

Haruka Nanami: I know that you try very hard, Syo-kun. You try harder than anybody else, but…

Select the Phrase!

ひとりで頑張らないで。Don't try doing this alone. (+20 Love +5 Music)

Haruka Nanami: Once you get up on stage, you're on your own. I can't do anything to help you.

Haruka Nanami: But now… At least for now, I have the means to help you…

Syo Kurusu: Thank you. If something happens, I'll tell you. I'll be in your hands.

無理はしないで。Don't strain yourself. (+10 Love +0 Music)

Syo Kurusu: This is my body. I know myself the best. I haven't gone too far yet.

Syo Kurusu: You're by my side, so I can do my best. It'll be okay, so smile for me. Don't make that face.

自分を大切にして。Take care of yourself. (+0 Love +0 Music)

Syo Kurusu: I'm taking care of myself…

Haruka Nanami: Then please realize when you're not in good shape.

Haruka Nanami: You must take breaks. If you collapse again…

Syo Kurusu: I won't collapse! I won't collapse ever again!

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun…

Several days pass by.

Syo-kun has been coming to practice everyday, but he has been looking pale and tired.

I want him to tell me if he has any worries. I want to do my best for him…

But no matter how many times I ask him, he keeps telling me that he's okay…

Then, one day…

I wake up earlier than usual and head to the academy without much thought.

Drip, drip.

The drizzle that had started when I left the dorm has suddenly becomes a downpour.

The large raindrops beat down on me.

Haruka Nanami: Aaah… I have to get to the classroom as soon as I can…

I run forward and notice…

Syo Kurusu: Huff, huff, huff, huff…

Syo-kun is running towards me.

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun… Why…?

Syo-kun is running in the courtyard without an umbrella and dressed in a jersey…

Haruka Nanami: S-Syo-kun… Why are you…

Syo Kurusu: Nothing much… Just running…

He brushes off my concerns, but his breathing is ragged and his face is red as if he has a fever.

Haruka Nanami: Running? In this rain? That's too much!

Syo Kurusu: It doesn't matter if it's raining or not… So just…

He staggers.

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun! Just stop!

I swiftly embrace him and we both sit down on the ground.

Haruka Nanami: Have you… been doing this this entire time? All by yourself?

Syo Kurusu: I've… just been worried… I'm not a genius like Natsuki…

Syo Kurusu: The only thing I can do is keep trying… But I can't even try this hard if I'm in poor health… with this defective heart…

Syo Kurusu: Ugh… ahh… haa, haa, haa, haa…

His breaths are shallow and rapid, his heart is beating rapidly, and his cheeks are burning red.

Syo Kurusu: … Why am I like this… All I did was run a little…

Syo Kurusu: Why… A normal person wouldn't find this hard at all… DAMN IT!

Syo-kun slams his fist on the ground in frustration.

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun, let's go back to the dorm…

Syo Kurusu: … No. I don't… want to lose anymore.

Haruka Nanami: … What do you mean by "lose"? What do you want to win?

Syo Kurusu: … I'm scared… Every time I run and start hurting, I'm just given a painful reminder that I'm not normal…

Syo Kurusu: There have been times I thought… how jealous I am of normal people… Why am I the only one like this? But I know…

Syo Kurusu: … Thinking like that isn't going to help me at all… I can't keep going forward… So that's why I've lived so recklessly and kept running…

Syo Kurusu: I keep running and running… I become so scared of stopping… I feel like my very soul will break…

Haruka Nanami: … Syo-kun.

My words won't reach Syo-kun right now, but if I were to sing him a song…

I sing all my feelings I have for Syo-kun deep in my heart.

Syo Kurusu: Haruka… That song…

Haruka Nanami: This isn't a song, these are my feelings. Did my heart reach you?

Syo Kurusu: … Yeah. It reached me right here…

Syo-kun points at his chest.

Syo Kurusu: Haruka, I'm… I really am scared of dying… There have been many times up until now where I thought that maybe this is when I die, and I prepared myself …

Syo Kurusu: I've never been so scared of death as I do now… Isn't it strange? I've always told myself to get stronger, and yet… I'm so scared.

Syo Kurusu: I want to live longer. I want to keep living, living with you!

Haruka Nanami: If that's so, then stop hurting yourself… I'll accept both your fear and your strength to keep going…

Haruka Nanami: I love all of you, Syo-kun. I want you to share everything with me. Am I not good enough to support you?

Syo Kurusu: Haruka… Thank you…

Syo-kun grips onto my arm and cries silently.

Haruka Nanami: Don't hold back… Cry. You can cry…

Haruka Nanami: I'll embrace all your tears and negative feelings.

Haruka Nanami: We can get through this together, so… please let it all out. I want you to share your pain.

Syo Kurusu: Haruka… Haruka! Please... stay by my side, always!

As the rain pours down on us, Syo-kun loudly sobs into my chest.

I squeeze him tightly in my arms.

Afterwards, Syo-kun and I walk back to his dorm room as I support him. 

Due to his fever, I conclude that he needs assistance and I call the school to let them know that we will both be absent.

Haruka Nanami: We have been allowed to take a break from class, so I'll take care of you all day today.

Syo Kurusu: … I'm sorry about that. Today, you were supposed to have a special one-on-one lesson with the teacher, right? You were looking forward to it…

Haruka Nanami: Yeah, but… I explained the situation and he let me change the day, so it's fine.

Syo Kurusu: I see…

Haruka Nanami: I'll change your towel…

I squeeze a towel that has been soaking in ice water and exchange it with the lukewarm towel on Syo-kun's forehead.

Syo Kurusu: Hey… Is it okay for me to hold your hand?

Syo-kun takes out his hand from under his blanket and glances at me.

Haruka Nanami: Of course.

I place both of my hands around his.

Syo Kurusu: Thanks. For some reason when I'm with you, I feel calmer…

Syo Kurusu: I'm no Natsuki but… maybe physical contact really is important…

If he feels better just by holding hands, I wonder if hugging him will make him feel even better…

I want him to recover as soon as possible…

Haruka Nanami: … Should I sleep in your bed with you?

Syo-kun jumps up in bed in shock.

Syo Kurusu: Y-YOU IDIOT, what are you saying?! *cough cough cough*

Syo-kun coughs violently.

Haruka Nanami: S-Syo-kun! You need to lie down.

I panic and place my hand on his shoulder to push him back down, but…

Hug!

Syo-kun embraces me.

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun… Um… If you don't go back under your blanket, you'll get cold…

Syo Kurusu: Sorry… Stay like this a little longer… I'll be okay, you're warm…

Haruka Nanami: … This is a little embarrassing.

Syo Kurusu: Idiot. This is way less embarrassing than sleeping together with me. Put up with it.

Haruka Nanami: O-Okay…

Syo Kurusu: … The sound of your heart comforts me…

Haruka Nanami: … I'm honored.

Syo Kurusu: Idiot… You're an idiot sometimes, but… you really are dependable.

Haruk: Syo-kun…

Syo Kurusu: … It's okay to depend on others if you can't do it alone… 

Haruka Nanami: Huh…?

Syo Kurusu: When I've been fighting tooth and nail everyday to the point of collapsing, you've been always watching my back…

Haruka Nanami: That's…

Syo Kurusu: It's the lyrics to the opening song for Fighting Prince. My idol Ryuya Hyuga wrote those lines.

Syo Kurusu: Seems like I had a partner who always got my back too… I just realized way too late.

Haruka Nanami: You're not late at all! I'll be protecting you as long as I'm able!

Syo Kurusu: Idiot, you got our positions reversed. I'm the one who'll protect you. Maybe not now, but one day. I'll become a man that can protect you.

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun…

Several days pass.

Syo-kun and I are invited to watch a recording of Song Station. 

Syo Kurusu: Whoa! So this is a studio…

Syo-kun looks around the studio in awe, his eyes sparkling.

The room is far bigger and the ceiling much higher than what is shown on TV.

The set has been prepared with many cameras placed all over the room.

I imagined this is what this is what it would look like, but…

Seeing the real deal is so exciting!

Ryuya Hyuga: Oh, you're here.

Haruka Nanami: We have humbly received the  invitation you have so graciously bestowed upon us.

Ryuya Hyuga: No need to be so formal about it. I'll be singing for the first time in a while, so relax and take a look around.

Syo Kurusu: HUH?! I thought you weren't going to sing live anymore…

Ryuya Hyuga: Normally, yeah. I turn down going to lives.

Syo Kurusu: Then why?

Ryuya Hyuga: Today's special… It's the second anniversary of his death. 

Ryuya Hyuga: This is something like… a memorial for him. 

Ryuya Hyuga: I just want to sing a song for him but… this is probably the last time I'll sing one of his songs.

Syo Kurusu: …

Ryuya Hyuga: So this is most likely the last chance you can hear Ryuya Hyuga sing live.

Ryuya Hyuga: You've wanted to hear me sing, right? Take a good look at how I live, kid!

Hyuga-sensei pats Syo-kun on the head, lifts his hand lightly, turns around and walks towards the set.

Syo Kurusu: … He remembered me…

Syo Kurusu:"Take a good look at how I live, kid!" 

Syo Kurusu:He said the same line to me when I first met him!

Syo Kurusu:… I can't believe it… Why didn't you tell me that you remembered me? Idiot!

Scrunching his face in joy, Syo-kun looks like he's about to burst into tears at any moment.

It's Hyuga-sensei's turn now.

Hyuga-sensei's song is so cool. He’s really an admirable adult.

Syo-kun's eyes stay glued on Hyuga-sensei the entire time he's singing, without a pause to blink.  

Syo Kurusu: Hey, Haruka… I'm sure that I want to become like him after all.

Haruka Nanami: Mm-hm. 

Syo Kurusu: I refuse to be half-assed.

Syo Kurusu: I want to be an idol that's so amazing that I can dye the entire space in my own color, just like him.

Syo Kurusu: I can't stay the way I am if I want to achieve that.

Haruka Nanami: I see.

Syo Kurusu: If we win the graduation audition, I'll go to the States and undergo surgery.

Select the Phrase!

応援するっ！I support you! (+0 Love +5 Music)

Haruka Nanami: I won't stop you if that's what you decided! Let's do our best for the audition!

Syo Kurusu: Yeah!

うん。I see. (+20 Love +0 Music)

Syo Kurusu: Our first obstacle is the graduation audition. If we don't win, there won't be any point. You'll fight with me, right?

Haruka Nanami: Yes!

絶対治るよ。You'll definitely recover! (+15 Love +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: We'll win the graduation audition, you'll cure yourself, then finally… we’ll debut together.

I grip Syo-kun's hand.

Syo Kurusu: Yeah.

Syo-kun grips my hand back.

We begin practicing for the graduation audition.

MINI GAME

Ryuya Hyuga: It's almost time for the graduation audition… How's your song going? There aren't many more chances for me to give you advice anymore, though.

Ryuya Hyuga: Because there's only a few chances left, I'll help you out with your song to the best of my ability. Let me hear your song.

Ryuya Hyuga: Your song has been nearing completion slowly but surely. I'm sure performing it has become more difficult, but be sure to treat every music note with care.

Okay, let's begin. Music, start!

S RANK

Syo Kurusu: No matter how painful or tough things may get, I want to do my best with you. I refuse to do this without you. Will you follow me?

Haruka Nanami: Yes, I'll go anywhere with you.

Chapter End