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beevean · 3 years ago

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Airing some advanced frustrations

By request of @latin-dr-robotnik, who suffered for us :P

So, my stance on the Advance series is: I like Advance 1, I very much dislike Advance 2, and I love Advance 3.

I’ve played Advance 3 more than I should, so out of fairness I decided to replay its predecessors to see if they’d grow on me.

Advance 1 kinda did! At least, I thought it was even better than I remembered. It descends into classic Dimpness by Angel Island Act 2, but the first levels feel fluid and engaging. And Amy best character don’t @ me.

But Advance 2... I think it’s worth to lay down exactly everything that it did wrong, because Advance 2 is an interesting look to how easily Sonic’s design can be twisted.

Sometimes, games are ruined by their very gimmick. One example is Knuckles’ Chaotix. KC was based on the Ring Power system that changed the physics of the characters, and was quite unwieldy. Instead of fixing the physics, they changed the entire levels to be as safe as possible, with zero hazards and dumb Badniks. The design of every act is also pretty much the same for every one of them, mainly vertical since all characters can ascend and without any unique gimmick with the exception of Amazing Arena. Add the baffling decisions of having 5 acts for 5 zones, and the result is a mindnumbing game that gives you literally nothing of value aside from pretty graphics.

Advance 2 is similar. The game is so 100% committed to the old “gotta go fast” formula, that it affects everything.

The level design, for about half the game, really could be summed up as “hold right to win”

The setpieces are few and far-in-between, because platforming would interrupt your running time

(there aren’t even idle animations, they replace the “look up” button: of course, you’d never need to stop and look up)

There is no water at all, except in the very first act (and you run on top of it), the only ice is in the form of ice slides that might send you to your death if your reflexes aren’t lightning fast, the only air gimmick in the sky level are fans that push you forward or stop your fall, and while there is a volcanic level there aren’t any gimmicks related to the volcano trope

There are no moving platforms at all

The closes thing to a gimmick in the levels are the rails, of which there’s an abundance so the novelty wears off very quickly - plus, you can only land on the very top, and if you don’t, death might await you

While all the characters have their own unique moves, you’ll barely be compelled to use them - have you ever climbed a wall with Knuckles? If so, did it feel organic, like something the game expects you to do? It gets even worse with Amy, which is little more than Pink Sonic and is so not worth what you have to go through to unlock her.

This means that the idea that I have to play though the entire game again as Knuckles when I’m almost done with Sonic is unbearably boring because it feels like the same thing for the 4th time and I cannot speed up the process like I could do in, for example, Heroes

While there are alternative paths that you can take with excellent reflexes and memorization, they all feel the same due to the lack of gimmicks - there is no “upper path is faster, lower path is trickier”, every path is fast and tricky

Since the gimmicks are very weak, the difficulty is cranked up by increasing the amount of unavoidable hazards in your way and especially the amount of bottomless pits - and I do mean unavoidable, springs and ramps launch you into enemies for no reason other than giving the illusion of a tricky level

Tricks are great, until you use them in a way the game hasn’t accounted for, and suddenly punishes you for wanting to keep momentum

This makes exploration unintuitive and the player is discouraged from looking for alternative routes

And yet, the Special Stages are unlocked by collecting 7 Special Rings, which do require extensive exploration, even as the design straight up punishes you for it

Also, having to collect 7 in a row is counterintuitive to how cheap and bottomless the design gets in the second half of the game

The bosses are all of the running type (except the final one), reducing the variety of the battle

fuck the sky canyon boss and its instakill attack

Here is where I’ll try to explain how Advance 3, while still having hazard placement problems, in my opinion is not nearly as frustrating as its predecessor.

Advance 3 rewards your curiosity and your desire to replay the game. Sometimes, stupid hazards can be avoided by taking advantage of the team’s special abilities - the crushers in Route 99 Act 1, the crushers in Ocean Base Act 1 and the water in Twinkle Snow Act 1 all can be avoided if you take another route with the right team, and unlike in Advance 2 you can stop and look at your surroundings. Playing through a level can be a different experience depending on which character you choose (just look how easily you can snap some levels in half if you get the right combination). The levels are also much more fun to go through because they all have their own identity and memorable gimmicks. Even collecting Chao, while not the best way to access Special Stages by far, at least makes sense: of course a game all about exploration and experimenting would push you to explore and experiment. It helps that each act only has 2 or 3 or 4 Chao and that they’re saved in memory once collected. (I would do without the key, but that’s another matter...)

So yes, sometimes the game is mean (it sure loves its popping spikes), but if you push through and find ways around it when possible, the experience is closer to a faster, bigger Advance 1, with intricate level design and so many ways to be played. Oh, and you have to finish it only once!

Advance 2 is not rewarding. You get good at it due to sheer trial-and-error, and what it gives you once you’ve mastered it? Levels that rely only on aesthetic and music (which, to be fair, are always on point) to be memorable, that have to be played 4 times (or 5 if you hate yourself) in nearly identical ways. It’s not a deep game, it’s a parody of the Boost games before they were even a thing.

Let’s compare maps.

Advance 1:

Advance 1 is varied. Neo Green Hill starts off with a very small, linear act with a handful of alternative paths, perfect to experiment with the different characters and get the hang of how they work. Casino Paradise is gigantic in comparison, fitting as it’s inspired by Carnival Night but not as time consuming, and it’s very easy to fall into the lower paths. Ice Mountain goes through the water multiple times, but if your reflexes are good you can jump in time to avoid unnecessary water; Amy and Tails fare well here.

Advance 3:

Advance 3's maps are infamously enormous, wide in all directions. Route 99 Act 1 is fairly straightforward, understandable for the first level, and the map looks convoluted only because you go up and down and all around: but in fact you’re mostly going straight, with a few shortcuts that you can take if you use Tails’ Tag Actions, a nice way to ease you into the mechanic. Sunset Hill Act 1 is multilayered, with paths that cross each other, and in fact the upper path is not always the fastest one; this act also relies a lot on switches to progress if you choose the slower paths, but with the right teams you can bypass them. Ocean Base Act 1 is a beast of verticality, matched only by Egg Rocket in the first Advance: if you don’t bring Tails as your partner, you’re going to spend a lot of time here dodging crushers and riding platforms... but if you do bring him, you’ll be rewarded.

And now Advance 2:

Can you see the problem yet?

They all go in the same direction (well, Sky Canyon goes up and not down). They’re all long and linear. There’s no variation of speed. The only difference between Leaf Forest and Egg Utopia is that the latter has the typical reverse gravity gimmick that Dimps adores and the fact that now mistakes are much more lethal.

Why did I go all the trouble to rant about a game that not many talk about anymore? Well, it’s what I mentioned at the beginning: if you approach Sonic thinking its only characteristic is “gotta go fast”, the game you’re gonna get is Advance 2. The very flat, boring, “there’s no way to put normal obstacles in these levels so we’re gonna throw bottomless pits at the player until they get sick of them” Advance 2.

Sonic may be the name and speed his game, but that doesn’t mean that pure speed is good. The other Advance games knew it, and the first one took pages out of the Classics, while the third tried to combine features from both its predecessors to create its own beast. Neither is perfect, but both are engaging and fun in a way Advance 2 can’t reach, because it’s too busy trying to add fake depth to a shallow concept.

Taking a breath is good, sometimes.

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic advance #sonic advance 2 #sonic advance 3 #long post #sometimes i just wanna rant #this is in honor of the poor fella who's been screaming obscenities about dimps for the past hour #anyway go play advance 1 and 3 if you haven't already

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leahazel · 3 years ago

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Top 5 games!

This ask is from about 4 years ago, so 2017 or thereabouts.

Long Live the Queen: a weird, ultra-difficult, Ren’py stat-builder from Hanako Games. Monarchy, court intrigue, magical dynasty, magical destruction, diplomacy, the importance of “soft skills”, multiple routes for solving the same problems, lots of gruesome deaths, and just a smidgen of romance. I spent probably hundreds of hours on this game, although admittedly, I have not replayed it in. Hmm. A while. It does still hold a special place in my heart, even if I couldn’t beat it without a peek at the wiki, no matter how many times I’ve done so before.

Sunless Sea. I backed Failbetter Games’ first desktop game on Patreon, back in the day, so I’d been playing it since the super-early versions, back when combat was awful and you could barely make enough cash to stay afloat. Being a ship’s captain in a chthonic, cavernous sea taught me valuable lessons about things like “being afraid all the time”. It’s also the most agender-friendly game I’ve ever personally played.

Choice of Rebels: Uprising: the mega-ambitious first installment of a giga-ambitious epic fantasy series of five (?) text games. Out of all the COG games I’ve played, the one with the most phenomenal scope. The range of options is enormous. The depth of consequences is staggering. There’s one (1) dysfunctional romance that I am ultra-invested in, the more so the more treacherous and life-ruining it may yet prove to be.

Skyrim. Sometimes, I am boring. The first big RPG I played was DAO, which I have not touched in about five years. Skyrim, by contrast, is a game I can slip into and out of. Like the previous three, I’ve spent hundreds of hours deeply embedded in this game and the lore around it. Unlike the others, difficulty had (almost) nothing to do with it. I’m invested in the lore, even though it’s a quarter-century shambling Frankenstein’s monster of senselessness. To this game I have given the greatest gift that I, as a fan, know how to create: a 100+K word lore-breaking fanfic ‘verse with too many original characters.

Seven Kingdoms: The Princess Problem. You knew this answer, surely, because you were the one who turned me onto this game. Hilariously, it turns out that the earliest versions of 7KPP were written in ChoiceScript. Now, I am well out of the ho9neymoon phase with this game, and will never recapture the starry-eyed adoration of circa 2015-16, but the zip files full of hundreds of savegames and screencaps don’t fucking lie, and neither does the mood board of OCs. Or the obvious inspirations in my original fiction. Or, as above, the 100+K word sprawling epic that has less to do with the original canon with every installment I write.

#asks #sqbr #cleaning out my inbox #games #long live the queen #sunless sea #choice of rebels #skyrim #7kpp

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butwhatifidothis · 3 years ago

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I did it! Finally fucking did it! I 100% the support log for 3H….Holy shit, that took longer than I was expecting, lol.

(Long rant, so heads up.)

I came in thinking “Oh they finally time-locked the supports, so I don’t have to have the damn cursor mocking me every time I open the menu like in Awakening and Fates, hurr hurr”. No no no no no. At least for Awakening and Fates, it was on my dumb ass for pressing the S-support and saving when I knew I shouldn’t. First off, if they wanted us to regain supports for Byleth in NG+, why the heck are supports for characters like Edelgard, Rhea, Dorothea and Lindhart locked? I don’t mean time-locked like the post-TS supports in a regular playthrough, I mean deadass “you can’t buy this, period” locked. “Oh it’s because you haven’t advanced that far in the story yet”. I can buy post-TS supports for the other characters, what makes El and Rhea exceptions?! The only thing that would be lost is that I don’t have to replay their entire route to get their S-support twice. It’s not like there’s enough differences between Bylad and Bylass to warrant the supports being locked, none of the characters specify a specific gender in their dialogue, and as far as different models go, changing models during a cutscene is coded into the game, so that should be no issue.

After going through the monastery option enough times, the hubworld is in this weird limbo state where it feels like it was made specifically for Byleth’s benefit (faculty training, recruiting party members, etc,) but the rest of the party seems to benefit from it instead (Instructions, Motivation points, etc). The Explore vs Battle options just don’t mix well, which feels like poor design choice. You can focus on auxiliary battles to raise your party’s level, but at the cost of potentially missing out on more party members. You can instead focus on the monastery to recruit party members, but at the cost of Byleth falling behind due to splitting activity points between recruiting and faculty training, and being in the monastery means less time grinding for levels. This isn’t as much of a problem in NG+, but if a game needs NG+ to lessen a design problem, then that’s more of a sign to me that the idea itself needed more ironing out.

As far as using the monastery to raise support points goes, the hubworld definitely needs a revamp. The only (good) options available are Meal Time and Choir Practice, with the latter being limited to once per week and the former making me think that the monastery must eat their own weapons to survive due to how fucking scarce food ingredients are. Getting meat and fish isn’t too big of an issue so long as you have enough money, but produce might as well be an urban legend. There were too many times where I had 60+ fish/meat, but produce was at fucking 1. I get that they wanted to be “realistic” in having seeds grow once per week, but if it’s at the cost of a gameplay element being nigh unplayable, then some more thought needs to be put into it. Sothis is a goddess of life and time, maybe her powers allow Byleth to make plants grow faster. Just something to make this section actually playable.

The final thing I wanted to talk about when it comes to the monastery is that, for some baffling reason, it is entirely possible to lock yourself out of key events like S-supports or being able to choose CF, simply by skipping to the end of the month. I’m not sure why this is a thing. It’s not like the game was designed with speedruns in mind (I mean, it is possible to beat a route in an hour, but fuck me if I ever succeeded in that), and nothing happens like a prompt popping up that you have to explore the monastery during that month or even limiting your options to just Explore (which the game has done before). This is especially weird for the quest in getting Jeralt’s ring (how to access S-supports), since Byleth is supposed to be sad in this month, so not being able to do seminars or Byleth being undeployable during auxiliary battles would make sense.

The option to choose CF is even worse though, because at least for Jeralt’s ring it’s a Red Quest that doesn’t allow you to finish exploring unless you complete it. For Edelgard, however? A dime-a-dozen quest prompt you can entirely look over and skip. No prompt by the game, no indication to talk to Edelgard, nothing. FFS, Rhea’s tea time quest was given more thought. At least her quest marker is a unique color.

(End of rant…sort of)

…So anyways, that was my experience with the game, lmao. Now you or someone else may be thinking, “nonnie, if you had this many problems completing the game, why did you bother?”, and the answer to that good question is…I’m not completely sure, lol. I know there’s more than one reason why, so bear with me here. I know part of it is due to sunk-cost fallacy (“I’m already this far into the game, I might as well fully complete it”), but I think a bigger reason is because I knew ahead of time that the routes were so similar to each other that there was little point in having a route split to begin with (except for CF, but who gives a fuck about that?). Despite all of my bitching, I do really like 3H even if I admit that it’s my least favorite FE game that I’ve played so far. I guess a part of me just wanted to like the game more despite my issues with it.

Now that I think about it, maybe the main reason was for fear of future mainline games. People are fear to like whatever part of a game that they wish, but I do think that 3H introduced some fundamental storytelling flaws that I’d rather not see repeated in the future, with me focusing on 3 in particular: 1) The Monastery, 2) Route Splits and 3) Byleth.

Aside from what I already talked about in regards to the monastery, if we are going to get another hubworld in the new FE title, have it to where it doesn’t conflict with how the rest of the story is presented. Is it better to simply tell us that the Western Church is xenophobic in an easily skippable side quest early on, or is it better to show us? Enemy Western Church NPCs going after foreign party members like Dedue or Petra more aggressively and calling them “animals” or the like, the map having Duscari NPCs locking themselves indoors for fear that the Western Church will persecute them, things of that nature. Is it better to tell us that there has been civil unrest in the Empire and the citizens revolting against Edelgard, or is it better to show us? Enemy Adrestian Civilian NPCs, assassins specifically going after Edelgard in a map, maybe one where a large farmland has been stripped bare. Things like that.

I’d rather do away with the Persona-calendar/Monastery hubworld, but if they are here to stay then they need enough content in it to keep the player engaged for 20-odd chapters, because there isn’t enough content in Garreg Mach to even hold up 12 chapters. Speaking of more content, if there’s going to be another route split in the next title, then there needs to be enough differences in the routes that actually warrants having a route split. Fates already did this well in having the route split be early in the game, along with the plot and story maps of each route being different, you could even skip to the route split moment on subsequent playthroughs, so 3H’s approach in having to play the same 12 chapters 3-4 times just felt like a massive downgrade. Playing multiple routes should feel rewarding rather than tedious, is what I’m trying to say.

Finally, and most importantly, I know that no one at IS is reading this but on the off chance that someone is - please, for the love of God, do not make another blank-slate/self insert main character like Byleth. Or at the very least, don’t have them be the focal point of the story, it’s a big reason why AM just works better than the other routes. For a game like FE, “self-insert” and “protagonist” goes as well as oil and water. Now, out of those three flaws listed, the Byleth one is what I’m hard set on. The monastery and route split flaws, my opinion might be flexible within reason, but the Byleth one…not so much, lol. If we really do get another self-insert doll for a main character, that alone is going to make the next game a hard sell for me, because seeing all the praise Byleth got (and has been getting) makes me fear that IS is going to take the wrong lesson from this and think they don’t have to put effort in making their protagonist anything resembling an actual person and their audience will still lap it up. It would be one thing if I just hated the character, but I don’t. I’m disappointed, which is even worse.

…With that said, it’s still better than whatever the heck Cap’n’Crunch is doing. Okay, rant over. For real this time.

—

I agree with a lot said here! But I do have a few disagreements, though they’re mostly my opinion than anything else lol

And this first one is probably like, extremely unpopular given how much shit I’ve seen flung at this aspect of 3H, but like… I actually really like the Monastery? Like yes, absolutely, it should have done more to not shelter the player from how bad the war is and it should change more with the world instead of being in this mostly limbo state where apparently seasons don’t real. I definitely also have those complaints, but to me, the Monastery was fine for the most part. A lot of the issues you brought up, like supports and Faculty Training and supplies for eating, weren’t a problem for me almost at all. My only real gripe is with how hard it is for Byleth to get training in Flying, Mounted and especially Heavy Armor without NG+ unlocking weapons ranks, since they don’t have access to Weekly Chores. I do believe I still managed to recruit everyone while only unlocking C in Faith on my Maddening playthrough of GD, but it certainly wasn’t easy. But I feel a lot of the problem people have with it are on subsequent playthroughs where they’re trying to do things like 100% any aspect of 3H, which yeah is gonna exacerbate the issues tenfold. Cuz like, while those three weapons ranks I mentioned are hard for Byleth to raise, on Normal mode you have unlimited auxiliary battles to help with all the other ones.

Like, I wanted to get Claude’s Dex to the max amount right? Just cuz I felt like it. And in doing that I found out just how tedious it is to get levels once a unit gets to a certain point, just cuz while Normal Mode gives you the Retreat option that lets you keep exp so you can drop a unit down on a yellow spot and get a decent boost in exp… you can do that like, twice or thrice on a story chapter. Once if it’s auxiliary (and not the freebie one). And that’s if you even have internet. And using the greenhouse to get Ailiell Pomegranates was a pain because they weren’t really guaranteed even if I used nothing but the right seed - doing that is more consistent, but not always, and I usually only got one anyway. It was annoying! But I was also doing a specific thing that’s gonna heighten the flaws in the system that I never would have noticed - didn’t even notice - unless I did that. The flaws are still there, don’t get me wrong! The Monastery definitely still needs improvement, battles still need to be a little more streamlined for future playthrough, but the flaws can seem a bit bigger than they are once you do certain things outside of a casual playthrough, know what I mean?

But, for example, when replaying 3H on hard mode and looking to recruit everyone after my no recruitment run, I didn’t come across any dilemma over “recruitment or Byleth being good, pick one.” That was the run my Byleth was usable, in fact - my first blind run that was no recruitment (save for Shamir) had my Byleth be pretty much completely useless while literally everyone else was fine. Also never came across problems with supplies for cooking (or at least not any big enough to comment on). So like, while these (and the above stuff) can certainly be problems for players trying to do everything everything in 3H, at least from my experience I just haven’t come across them. The monastery itself definitely needed a better story implementation, but yeah. I could’ve just been lucky tho lmao

I don’t mind how they implemented trying to get on CF at all tho lol. If you’ve been playing the game like it suggests you do - supporting characters and exploring the monastery there’s no reason for players to have missed getting on CF. If players wanted to ignore one of the biggest aspects of the game I don’t really feel that bad for them when they miss out on very achievable things. Plus, CF’s requirements are nothing in terms of FE’s madness when it comes to getting on a route. It may be more specific than any other route, but like I said, playing the game as the game tells you to would naturally land you in it (the only thing that might be a bit unfair is that I think if you talk with Edelgard at all that month you have to decide right then and there, and then the whole month is lost. Kinda ass).

Binding Blade, for example, requires you to do specific things that few first time players would think to do in multiple, random chapters in order for you to get the best ending. With absolutely no warning as to when these chapters happen and what to do in them. And some of these requirements are not fun lmao, I’d prefer how they did it with CF than with how they’ve handled ~secret~ stuff before personally

Pretty much agree with everything else though! While 3H is actually one of my more favored games in the series, I’ll be the first to admit that its storytelling is in dire need of improvement. Having the story and lore of the game just be spat out in lore dumps and this or that NPC just isn’t that good. Or if they are going to do that, at the very least give some visuals to go along with it! Imagine how much impactful Rhea’s story would have been if it was in a visual format, like CGs and/or a cutscene. It still would be an info dump, but at least we can see for ourselves how horrific the Red Canyon was for her! And I do not want another avatar in whatever next mainline game we get, personality or not. We’ve evolved past the need for self-inserts that all the characters Just Like lmao

But thanks for sharing your thoughts!! And sorry that it took so long for me to get to answering ;w;

#submission #anon #exqueuese me princess #but hey I found the og submission at least!! for some reason it got thrown in like the middle of my drafts?? weird lmao #but yeah overall I do think 3H could've done with some refinement for later more intensive playthroughs #and on the other hand I get why they didn't immediately think of them if that makes sense #also lol yeah the base game is infinitely more fun that whatever Cap'n'n doin' lmao

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forestofbeginnings · 4 years ago

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while I do agree with what you’re saying about character’s sexualities needing to be explored rather than being seen as the easy option, having “just a few” LGBTQ+ characters means every LGBTQ+ player is SEVERELY restricted in terms of who they can choose to be with, ESPECIALLY since those few LGBTQ+ characters run the risk of falling into harmful stereotypes to make it “obvious” that they are those characters. it leaves a LOT of room for separation rather than inclusion, for distance between players and characters bc the player may not think the other characters are worth getting to know when those characters arent the “few” LGBTQ+ ones. as much as it is important to have the detailed representation, as a member of the LGBTQ+ myself, I am equally happy with stories going in depth on character’s sexualities as I am with them just being completely normalised. video games are pleasant, peaceful escapes for people, and as much as it would be “realistic” for them to experience some kind of discrimination or self hatred, I personally prefer the idea that in the world of the game, everyone is just fine with it, as they should be. that leaves room for discussion on why the real world ISNT like that already, how we can HELP it become that way by assisting in the normalisation of it, etc. this is in no way a direct argument against you, it’s solely my standpoint on the whole LGBTQ+ marriage options. I just think it should be a fair game to everyone, and no player should feel their options are limited based on their own sexuality and having just a few characters in the game who match that, instead of it being equal for everyone, if that makes sense

That's a very good point, thank you for sending this to add to the conversation! I'll try my best to respond to all the good points you make.

(my reply is very long and under the cut and includes a lot of my Opinions of queer rep in video games so here we go)

I know you're probably talking about Fire Emblem when you're talking about the severely limited LGBT+ options. And it does suck, I'm pretty lucky that I fell hard for one of the few bisexual offerings in FE3H (looks fondly at Mercedes). But on the other hand...my primary experience with LGBT+ rep are Bioware games, where everyone has their own distinct identity. In Dragon Age Inquisition, out of the romance options there's 1 straight woman, 3 straight males (albeit two are limited to elves/humans), 1 pansexual male, 1 bisexual female, 1 gay male, and 1 lesbian. And most of the writing does not focus on their identities. In a majority of the romances, the most you get is a "sorry, not interested" from a character if you're not what they're into. The only route with clear focus on sexuality is for the gay man, which is fantastically written (and is written by a gay man about his personal experiences so take that as you will). All of the other LGBT+ characters’ stories don’t focus on their sexuality at all and don’t face discrimination for it.

The game isn't perfect (the writing for the lesbian is bad in the base game, just straight up bad), but it's what I think of when I say "everyone has an identity." No matter who you play, not all options are open to you. Doesn't matter if you're straight or LGBT+, your options are limited. And honestly, despite the more limited options...the impact that games like Fire Emblem and Dragon Age gave me are still things I remember fondly as a bi/ace woman. I loved Mercedes' romance in FE3H because she was specifically bisexual like me. I was absolutely giddy when Josephine's romance (the bi option in DAI) did not include a sex scene, which meant she could be asexual like me. And to me, I don't get as much excitement playing SoS or SDV. The girls like me because I'm the player. That's it. It’s not because they’re bisexual with their own identity, it’s because I’m the player. And it just reminds me of that quote from The Incredibles like "if everyone is super, nobody will be." Everyone is ""bisexual"" and...

I think when you talk about people not being interested in learning about other, non-LGBT+ characters, that's more a flaw in farming sims in general? Because you can't really...befriend a romance option. You can't learn their full story unless you're romancing them. Which, again, isn't a thing in Fire Emblem or Dragon Age. You can A support anyone in FE and it only becomes romantic if you choose to S support them. In Dragon Age, you learn a character's full story and learn about them regardless of romance. I don't think people will be less interested in knowing other characters...it's just if you don't want to romance them...you can't really know them? So why befriend a character if you can’t just be friends?

But I do really want to touch on the point you make on how LGBT+ romance doesn't need to be realistic and can be idealized. I 100% agree. Making it not a big deal and not put under a microscope helps it become normal. It's actually the kind of rep I prefer. I don’t like when huge deals are made about LGBT+ characters because it just accentuates that they’re different and ‘the other,’ rather than just another person that happens to not be heterosexual.

But literally the only romance-based video game I've played where a realistic struggle of an LGBT+ person is focused on is Dragon Age Inquisition. With the gay route I mentioned and touched on with a non-romancable trans man. Sexuality is not really spoken about in FE3H. Some characters are just...bisexual. Nothing more to it. Mercedes certainly doesn't say anything about it. She can just be romanced by both men and women. It is barely spoken about in Dragon Age games aside from character preference and Dorian's romance. In Dragon Age 2, one bisexual romance option mentions his first experience with a man. Another option is hesitant to date a female because of cultural reasons. That's it.

I do get your point. We don't need to include the realities of the world in our video games. But also...we're allowed to still acknowledge sexuality in video games. I joke about my bi/ace-ness all the time. Even in a perfect world of a farming sim...I'm pretty sure a character can make wisecracks about liking both men and women...or only men/women. Being bisexual always means some kind of discovery that you like more than one gender. Has this love interest dated someone of the same or opposite gender before? Will they tell me off-hand that I'm the first girl they dated? Will they express interest in a character of the opposite gender but can be romanced by a same-sex player? Representation doesn't need to be a sanitized thing completely removed from reality. Even in a completely perfect world where there is no such thing as discrimination against the LGBT+ community, we’re still allowed to speak about our sexualities. It’s a part of who we are.

When I say I want specific representation, I don't want a realistic depiction of the current-day struggles our community faces. I just want a character to say something that makes me know that they're like me. That they're specifically bisexual or specifically pansexual or so on. That they have their own preferences and are their own character and aren't blindly into me because I'm the player.

I do get why you want representation to be equal across the board. It is the easy option and a simple thing to do. But I want quality over quantity. I don’t want a character to marry me because I’m the player. I want a character to marry me because they’re bisexual or pansexual or a lesbian or asexual with romantic preferences or so on and so forth. And the reason why I’m so passionate about this and want farming sims to go towards this direction is because I’ve seen it done in other genres! It can work!

Inclusion of LGBT+ romance options does not have to be at the sacrifice of the identities of bisexual and pansexual individuals. And now I get off my soap box and drink some water because I just got my 2nd COVID vaccination.

#the curator speaks #warning: this is long but i did want to hit all your points!#and i do see your point and they are valid #but i really enjoyed your ask and even if you still disagree that's fine!

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purpleyellow · 4 years ago

Text

characters unlocked

basic info:

Chung Minkyung/Mae

The Boyz 12th member

birthday: 1999/01/14

birth place: Seoul - South Korea

Chung Minji

TXT 6th member

birthday: 2001/05/31

birth place: Sydney - Australia

a/n: have I gone insane and made two ocs at once? kind of. actually, I haven’t made up my mind about actually going forward with them yet but I’ve had this idea for about two months and my mind couldn’t rest unless I actually wrote it down. and since I already had it typed out, I might as well share it right? (awkwardly laughs and runs away).

also disclaimer, this is 100% focused on the ocs and not on their groups, you may be asking why since I never really cared this much about backstory before... I honestly don’t know, my brain thought of it like that and that’s how this turned out.

2011

Minkyung watched the teacher leave the room from the corner of the classroom and began packing up her things as the girls around her whispered between themselves. She didn’t blame them for talking, considering this was the first time in months she had made it through the first period without her mother showing up.

Actually, some days she wouldn’t even go to school due to her day packed with auditions and art-centered classes. But this time she had, and just for a moment, she allowed herself to think she would have a normal day. Until the teacher had to answer a knock.

Walking back inside, the middle-aged woman speared a pitied glance at the girl and nodded once she excused herself. The official routine of letting her know her mother had arrived was long gone after the fifth consecutive time it had happened.

Going outside as fast as she could, so she wouldn’t hear anyone talking about her. Minkyung met her mother near the school entrance.

“Let’s go, we can’t be late” The woman rushed her, picking up her backpack and throwing on the backseat before circling her car and sitting in the driver’s spot. She barely waited for her daughter to buckle up before driving away from the parking lot. Wheels scratching the pavement as she did so.

“What is it this time?” She asked with half the excitement of her mother, leaning her head on the window as she watched the school becoming small in the rearview mirror.

“Acting gig. You got this in the bag” The older woman spoke cheerfully and Minkyung hummed. Once they stopped at a red light, her mother turned to her and brushed her a strand of hair behind her ear “Hey. I know you’re growing tired but I think this one might be it. Just blow them away with your talent, alright baby?”

“Alright, mama”

2011

Minji sat at the curb as she watched her friend jumping into the backseat of her parent’s car.

“Are you sure you don’t want a ride sweetie?” The friends’ mother asked her leaning out of the window “Eliza was telling me you usually wait quite a while, I can talk to you mother and arrange a carpooling system with her”

“No, it’s fine Ms.Smith” Minji hugged her lunch box and smiled sweetly, her small feet tapping the ground in a rhythm she had made up “Mom should be arriving soon, I don’t want her to worry if I’m not here”

“Well okay, be sure to mention that to her so next time you don’t have to wait” The blond woman smiled politely before driving off.

Minji waved at them and stared at the empty sidewalk in front of the school. Checking her pink watch for the fifth time, she noticed she only had to wait five more minutes before she gave up on waiting and walked home.

The girl knew there wasn’t a big chance of her mother remembering she had a younger daughter to pick up, but still, she allowed herself to wait for an hour every day. Just in case she would show up.

After the five minutes were up, the 10 year old grabbed her stuff and began her usual walk home. The neighborhood wasn’t too dangerous and she would only have to walk six blocks to arrive, but still, it felt too cruel for the teacher to see it happening constantly.

The woman had walked half of her way to get to the girl when she saw a tall man approaching, she sighed relieved as Minji gasped surprised.

“Dad” She jumped on the man’s arms and he laughed, waving at the teacher before picking her lunch box that had fallen on the ground.

“I came home from work earlier today, I figured you’d want some company on your walk home” He patted her on the head and the girl smiled brightly “I’m sorry for not being able to do this every day”

“It’s fine. Come, I’ll show you the pet store I walk by. Oh, and there’s this old lady resting on her porch every day, she always gives me a good afternoon” Minji smiled pulling him by the hand as they made their way back.

2014

Minkyung quietly stood in the hallway as she heard her parents discussing. Earlier that day, her mother got an email confirming her acceptance into a trainee program in Korea, the multiple years of singing lessons and learning various instruments had finally given a bigger result than the acting route had.

The girl had never seen her mother more excited than after getting the news, but since she told her father about it they had been locked in the kitchen arguing about the changes this opportunity brought to the family.

“I don’t know about this, it sounds pretty expensive” Mr. Chung sighed walking back and forth.

“It’s an opportunity for our daughter to finally become someone. She worked so hard for it, we don’t know when the next one might come. This is her chance”

“She is someone already. She’s our daughter, a sister, and a student. What will happen with her studies after she’s gone?”

“She can keep them overseas, she’s homeschooled after all”

“Only because she couldn’t keep up with school and your obsession for making the girl famous”

“She wants this just as much as I do”

“What’s going on?” Minji showed up out of nowhere startling her sister, who whispered for her to keep quiet and listen.

“They’re discussing moving to Korea” Mikyung waved her off and returned to listen, but the younger slapped her arm and frowned. “Ouch, stop that dumbass”

“Why would we move to Korea?”

“I passed an audition there. Mom is convincing dad to accept it”

“No, absolutely not” Minji shook her head, walking determined downstairs only to be stopped by the older “Let me go. I’m not moving because of you”

“Minji don’t, let them discuss this, mom almost has him”

“I’m not moving. I don’t care what you want. Different from you I have friends here, I have a life. I’m not going because of you”

“Hey, stop that” Their father opened the kitchen door to stop the two arguing girls.

“No, I’m not stopping. You’ve always given Minkyung the fancy tutors and expensive courses without thinking twice. She can go on her own, I don’t want to leave our home”

“We are a family, if one of us is going, the rest is too” Her mom spoke up pointing a finger at her “And this might be your home, but Seoul is your dad’s and mine. We’d be going back to our family. No more trips during holidays and all of that. Think about it, it would benefit us all”

“No, it wouldn’t. Dad would have to leave work, and I have school and my friends. We built a life here” Minji cried out looking between the two of them. In the back, her sister leaned on the wall and watched them ultimately deciding her future.

“And you’ll build a new one in Korea too. Think about all the work your sister has done for us to have this chance”

“This is her chance. Not ours”

“Minkyung” The man spoke, shutting the two up and getting the girl’s attention. “Do you honestly want this? We would be investing a lot once you sign with them”

“Yes, I’m sure of it” She answered, it was honest. But considering that was the only thing she had worked for her entire life, there was no way it wouldn’t have been.

2015

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go in there with you?” Minkyung’s mom asked her again as they made it in front of the building.

“Yes, mom” The girl rolled her eyes fixing the big duffel bag under her arm “Most people leave their families for this. I don’t want to brag that mine follows me no matter where I go”

“They deserve to know we support you” The woman cupped her face in adoration and she laughed.

“It isn’t a matter of support, some people just can't afford to move around”

“Okay, but I’ll come by your accommodations later to bring the rest of your stuff and you’ll tell me everything then”

“Fine. Oh, and mom. Can you give Minji my guitar, she might have a better use for it than leaving it untouched”

“You don’t want to have at least one of your instruments with you?” The woman frowned, reluctant in passing by her daughter’s belongings to the younger.

“I’m sure they’ll have a bunch I can practice on” The girl shrugged moving around on her feet.

“If you say so. Don’t forget not to let the boys mess with you okay. And don’t stress if you don’t get along, remember this is only one phase for you to become the star you were born to be”

“Uh, okay. I have to go” Minkyung gave her a hug and walked inside the building, blushing furiously as her mother screamed good luck to her.

Walking to where a receptionist was, she noticed a boy, a little older than her, getting some credentials with her. Standing behind him, she waited until the woman asked for her name.

“Chung Minkyung” The girl said and she nodded.

“Right, the girl from Australia. I have your stuff here too” The woman said and the boy, who was puzzly looking through his papers, looked up at the mention of the Country and quickly stared at her, wondering if he should introduce himself or wait a little more “You’re both going the same way, press two in the elevator down the hallway and go to the room on the far left”

Thanking her, Minkyung picked up her things and nodded for the boy, giving him a tight-lipped smile as they walked together.

“I’m sorry, I think I overheard you’re from Australia. I’m from Canada, and my Korean is a little rusty. Do you speak English?” He smiled embarrassed and the girl nodded.

“Yeah, no problem. Mine would be too, but my mom made me take lessons as a child because speaking both languages would be good for the resume” She told him as they entered the elevator “A little TMI, I’m sorry. I’m bad at making friends”

“It’s fine” He laughed nervously and looked around before hitting him that he hadn’t introduced himself “I’m Jacob, sorry for not saying my name”

“I’m Minkyung but I guess you can call me Mae if you want to” She smiled generously at him and he nodded. The elevator’s doors opened up for them to step out.

Walking inside the room they were told, several heads turned around to stare at them and a buzzing boy came straight to greet them.

“Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Youngjae. Where are you guys from?”

“Uh- My name is Jacob, I’m from Canada”

“Oh, you came from the international auditions, right? In that case you can call me Eric, I used to live in LA” Eric smiled and looked expectantly at the girl.

“I’m Mae, I came from Australia” She smiled nervously and he gasped.

“Oh wow, we’re all from different places”

“Yeah um could you show us around, I’m kind of lost right now” Mae said and Jacob nodded from her side making Eric laugh.

“It’s my first day too actually” He said making both their eyes widen “But everyone seems nice, let’s introduce you to them and they’ll help us figure things out”

“How are you so comfortable?” The girl asked on a whim and cleaned her throat embarrassed after realizing what she had done “Sorry, I’m sorry. I- I suck at meeting new people”

“It’s fine” Eric laughed, intertwining his arm with hers “We’ll get along, all of us. Let’s talk to the others because they’ve been staring for a while”

2017

“Your sister is debuting today?” One of Minji’s friends, Yoojung, gasped on her left as they stood in the food court at the mall. The three of them wearing their school uniforms while deciding what to eat.

“Yeah, and my mom is a mixture of excitement and annoyance at home, that’s why I’ll stay in this place until her and dad leave for the stage”

“Annoyance?” Jisoo, her other friend asked while looking at the ice cream store “Let’s go to the parlour”

“Sure. And yes, her original plan was for Minkyung, I guess Mae now, to go solo after a while. But last month she came home exclusively to tell her she wasn’t going to leave her group” The girl said nonchalantly as if it were old news for her.

“Wow, that’s so cool” Jisoo gasped, making Minji roll her eyes.

“Why are you not going to the debut showcase?” Yoojung asked again, making her shrug.

“We were never that close, since she became a trainee we haven't talked at all. I’m sure she won’t miss me that much”

“Still, you would meet a bunch of good looking idols, I��d give everything to be there” Jisoo said in a dreamy tone and both of the girls laughed at her expression.

The three of them were slowly walking to get their sweets when a couple stopped them in the middle of the aisle, quickly handing a card to each of them and introducing themselves as scouts from an idol company.

“We’re holding auditions tomorrow and it would be lovely if you could attend, I’ll make sure to remember each of your faces” The lady smiled politely, her gaze sticking a little more on Minji than on the other girls.

They gave some more information to them and gave a quick goodbye. Looking at the card and back at the girls, Minji tried to sound as casual as possible while asking if they would show up for the process.

“Nah” Yoojung said making Jisoo nod along “But you should, they seemed more interested in you than us”

Humming along, Minji stuck the piece of paper on her pocket in the promises of deciding that night.

2019

“Hey, what are you doing?” Mae asked after coming out of her room and seeing Kevin, Changmin, and Haknyeon huddled up around a computer.

“A new group just debuted” Kevin mumbled, scrolling down what seemed to be an article and she snorted.

“So what, rookie groups show up literally every day” She rolled her eyes standing behind them and reading some of the words flying by “Tomorrow X Together, isn’t that Bighit’s new group? Wait, why are they talking about us there?”

“Because there’s a rumor that one of the members is your sister” Haknyeon said and as if on clue Kevin stopped in a picture of Minji.

Feeling like time had frozen, Mae widened her eyes and gasped, pulling Kevin away and scrolling down herself to check if she wasn’t having a fever dream.

“You never said you had a sister” Q noticed casually as she freaked out in front of the computer.

“She never came to visit us either” Kevin complained for a second and then gasped “Wait, was she missing? Did you just find your missing sister?”

As the boys began sharing conspiracy theories as to why they didn’t know about the existence of Minji, Mae turned to them with a shocked expression and waited until they fell silent to quietly mumble

“That little devil never told me she wanted to become an idol”

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theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 4 years ago

Note

Lily (from "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus", what else?) and Lenin and maybe some other people? Watch "Heathers". Reactions? Or what they get transported there? Sorry, it's just that I'm in this Heathers-obsession phase and since I love your work so much (and the fact that Trotsky is kinda sorta like JD) I've been wondering about a crossover like that. I honestly have no idea what your answer to this will entail.

I’ve been musing on this one for a bit now but I suppose it’s time to dig in and answer.

First, I’m not usually a fan of the “X characters watch Y thing” so we’re going to avoid that. Also, to Wizard Lenin, it’d undoubtedly be yet another one of Lily’s weird 80′s movies that she loves so much and forces him to watch. It’s less gory than Predator, but dammit Lily, high school isn’t like this!

Getting transported there is a similarly weird story. It’s such a muggle setting that it really doesn’t mesh well with the “Sisyphus” cast. Why would Lily and Wizard Lenin be stuck in this high school in Ohio? Would they even do anything besides go “That JD kid sure is weird” and “Wow, the death count here is higher than Hogwarts!”? Point being, I can’t imagine they’d get entangled in the true plot of “Heathers” and at best would be providing riff track commentary on this crazy high school.

So, instead, let’s go the good old fusion route. Let’s make the world of “Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus” just a bit more like “Heathers” and see how it pans out.

Because “Heathers” is all about the destruction of society from within, we’re axing Voldemort. Sorry, Tom, you got stuck in a magical mirror, eaten by bears, or something after 1943 and are going to be Sir Not Appearing in this Universe. As a result, there’s no Voldemort, but the deep societal issues that Tom took advantage of very much remain and are flourishing.

In this world, Lily is still a god, but is not immediately recognized as such by being the girl who lived. Instead, she’s just a strange, dangerously overpowered, nuisance that nobody likes. And her home life is trash.

I imagine in the world without Voldemort, Death Eaters, and a second war Lily and James’ marriage quickly crumbles. This is mainly due to the stress of marriage but also due to having a gifted, ridiculously intelligent, and creepy child. Within a few years, Lily Evans has the audacity to do what is never done: she divorces her pureblood lord husband and tries to vie for child custody. She loses, of course, as she’s a muggle born woman, and is basically banished from ever seeing her kid again.

James never really gets over this, Ellie looking so much like Lily Evans certainly not helping matters, and over the years grows very cold to her. She’s not a son so is useless to inherit, she’s nothing like him, and she’s just an all around disappointment. James very quickly gets remarried for political purposes, marrying a far less scandelous pureblood witch from pick your prestigious family, and they have a son meaning that Lily is no longer heir.

Lily thus attends Hogwarts as essentially the half-blood Potter. She’s for all intents and purposes a bastard child, one barely acknowledged by her father, and is also weird. As a result I imagine she’s bullied relentlessly much in the manner Luna is. For years.

I imagine Luna Lovegood is her only friend, as the pair have bonded over constantly having their stuff destroyed and being locked out of their dormitories.

Enter Lily’s seventh year and thus the plot.

The outside world is looming and Lily effectively has no future. Despite being the daughter of Lord Potter, she’s in a similar position that Tom Riddle was. She won’t be hired into the Ministry or basically any position thanks to her dubious heritage as well as the fact that no one likes her.

Mostly, she just wants out. She wants out of the country where everyone knows exactly who she is and where she came from. Her best hope for this is employment with the goblins but she needs recommendations from a professor. Her best bet is Slughorn, but while he’s always been awed of her ability after seven years of Lily the charm has worn off. Lily has never received an invitation to the Slug Club.

Lily realizes that to get out she must become popular so someone can vouch for her to Slughorn. Not to mention her life might become slightly, slightly, less miserable. So, Lily approaches the Heathers. Much like in the film/musical, Lily offers her services to them for the fee of making nice, pretending to like her, and getting her an in with Slughorn.

This spirals out of control as the Heathers instead do the makeover and make Lily suddenly cool. She’s suddenly invited to parties, people talk to her, it’s a whole new world.

Around this time, Lily in the room of requirement happens to stumble across the diary (nevermind how he gets there, we’ll pretend Tom just never managed to smuggle him out of the castle). Tom has been trapped in there, dying, and Lily obliviously informs him that all his ambitions and sacrifices amounted to nothing. There was no dark lord after Grindelwald, she’s never heard of a Tom Riddle, and everything she describes makes it sound like nothing has changed.

Tom Riddle inexplicably vanished off the face of the earth leaving only the diary behind.

Naturally, Tom is very pissed about this, and sets about plotting how he can return, trying to get Lily to open up by asking her for help returning him to his body. Lily does him one better and just returns him to his body without any sacrifice, casually remarking that she’s always been like this as long as she can remember, fully accepting Tom to yell “SHE’S A WITCH! BURN HER!” to her face as everyone else does.

Tom, however, is floored and everything he’s ever known to be true is thrown out the window. He decides to make Lily his new pet project.

Unfortunately for him, by this point Lily has a Slug Club to attend, only it goes horribly wrong. The Heathers have purposefully set about humiliating Luna, Lily’s only friend, and Lily has to very publicly break ties with them even though it means sacrificing her only real chance of leaving the country with gainful employment. Worse, the Heathers promise wrath the likes of which Lily has never seen before.

Lily, devastated and despairing, goes back to Tom and confesses all the shitiness of her extremely shitty life and how she doesn’t even know what the Heathers will do to her now. Tom finds this a little odd, as Lily has quickly proven herself the most powerful person on the planet, but he’s willing to play along. More to the point, Lily and Tom’s relationship goes from 0 to 100 as he is not only the first guy to show interest in her but he’s very very interested and very very hot. When Lily decides to beg Alpha Heather for forgiveness, Tom notes that he’ll come with, he’s better with people than she is.

Tom, having hit a low point of nihilist rage thanks to Voldemort having amounted to nothing, poisons Alpha Heather and dutifully covers for Lily by writing her suicide note. This works. There is an ecstasy of joyous grief throughout the school as staff and students alike confess how they never knew the true Heather. Lily is astounded, Tom is ecstatic.

Lily tries to return to life as normal, goes back to hanging out with Luna, but also has to introduce Tom to the school. Tom suggests she mind wipes everyone, that makes Lily uncomfortable, so she instead confesses what she believes is the truth in that Tom was trapped in an enchanted object. Dumbledore nearly has a stroke, but since Tom Riddle never became Voldemort, it’s more that this is a solution to an unsolved mystery and the castle is glad Tom isn’t actually dead. They’d thought he got hit by one of those muggle bombs during WWIII or whatever it was the muggles had going on.

HA HA HA HA, but no, Tom says in response.

In the meantime Tom gets to witness Lily’s weird and strained relationship with her father, his friends, and her younger half-brother. Tom points out that Lily seeking out gainful employment is unnecessary. Lily doesn’t have to be a part of society, like all these worthless people around her, she’s so powerful that she can do whatever she likes however she likes it. She can simply leave the country, she could become a dark lord even, there’s nothing stopping her. Lily’s never thought of it like that before, to become a true part of society, to be accepted on some level by that society, has always just seemed like the obvious path to her. What else would she do?

Due to this, Lily and Tom’s relationship continues to grow as they’re really the first people to see each other as they are. Naturally, this is when shit hits the fan. Thanks to Tom, Lily’s invited to another Slug Club with him (Tom can still become minister even if he was trapped in a book for fifty years! Slughorn says). Lily gets hit on and nearly sexually assaulted by some of the boys there, Lily gets out, but the next day rumor circulates around the school that Lily was in a threesome with them.

Tom Riddle sets up a ridiculous scheme in which he fakes their murder suicide where they confess to being homosexual. Lily is increasingly horrified. The school, once again, is in an ecstasy of joyful grief over the loss of these two, beautiful, oppressed, gay souls. Lily realizes that Tom is A Bad Dude (TM) and tries to confront him. He easily confesses he cares nothing about these people and has decided he wants to watch society burn. These are the people who thought he had died in the Blitz and did nothing. They are people who cannot and will not change. They’re the absentee fathers who dote on far less powerful, pureblood, sons. Tom has officially, completely, given up on the wizarding world and now he will destroy it as quickly and horrifically as he can. Lily, not belonging to society, can pour the kerosene on with him.

This is getting a little too gnarly for Lily and she dumps Tom.

Unfortunately, he quickly becomes exceedingly popular thanks to his angelic face, his natural charm and charisma, and his understanding of people. He passes around a petition for suicide and bullying awareness that everybody and their brother signs. What they’re really signing is pages from the diary which, much like Death Note, promises him both their magic and their life force.

Tom confronts Lily and admits he’s going to murder everybody, an entire generation of wizards and witches gone in an instant, AND LILY CAN BE HIS DARK QUEEN! Lily and Tom get into a fight, Tom accidentally murders the shit out of her and is devestated, only of course for Lily to wake up later after he’s left because she was unwittingly immortal this whole time.

Rising from the dead, Lily hunts Tom down before he can blow up the school, and sucks him back into the diary. Upon graduation Lily makes up with Luna, still has no prospects and plans to go and be homeless in India, has hesitantly gotten in contact with Lily Evans, basically has no contact left with her father, and has a boyfriend diary named Tom who might be let out in fifty years if he promises not to blow up a school.

#ask #anon #lily and the art of being sisyphus #heathers

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orsuliya · 4 years ago

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Song Huaien is a good boy!

Book spoilers did me dirty. That’s a fact. Ever since I peeked at the last chapters of the novel, I’ve been convinced that Song Huaien was going to go rogue sooner or later. And so I looked upon him as one does upon a ticking bomb, watching him closely for any signs of rot and obvious mwahahahaing.

And that… might have been wrong of me. It’s not like The Rebel Princess ever treated any character’s novel journey as sacrosanct (see: Su Jin’er, Wanru, even Zitan). So what gives? Well, just look at the ever-precious Liu Duanduan. Wouldn’t you want to steel your heart in advance…?

And then the supremely astute @dangermousie came along and made me reconsider what could be done in the scant remaining number of episodes in order to deliver a satisfying ending. I trust The Rebel Princess, so it will be a satisfying ending, 12 cut episodes notwithstanding, and I’m choosing to ignore any contrary opinions! So what could be done? Well, getting rid of Song Huaien’s rebellion and conflict with Xiao Qi seems to be one of the most viable solutions, whether by design or by leaving it on the cutting-room floor. Okay, I’m sold, I thought at once, jumping without thinking as I’m wont to do. But does the drama itself support that?

Why, yes, I believe it does!

What are the actual visible signs of Song Huaien’s potential villainy? There’s the corruption/negligence thing, a pronounced liking for finer things in life and an unrequited love for Awu. That’s it.

The corruption scandal, if it can even be called such, what with Potato suppressing any further investigation attempts, is the biggest strike against Song Huaien. It’s clear that he’s somehow embroiled into unsavoury dealings, but the extent of his guilt is never shown. While I don’t fully believe his story about the birthday gifts being delivered during his absence and accepted without his express permission and/or knowledge, there is also nothing to suggest he’s been explicitly on Xie payroll, secret documents non-withstanding. The record book alone is no proof of guilt – why, the Xie might have simply noted that gifts of certain value had been given and received, not in exchange for a specific service, but rather as a start of a beautiful relationship. You get the drill. I believe if there was a solid proof of Song Huaien doing explicit harm to his own in exchange for Xie money, Xiao Qi’s reaction would have been much harsher.

As it stands, Song Huaien’s guilt is a matter of conjecture. There’s the birthday gift, which Xiao Qi cottons onto really quickly, which confirms that it may have been noted in the Xie secret books. There’s the fact that he may or may not have known about it and may or may not have chosen to keep it. I’d say he did know, if only after the fact, and that he originally meant to keep it. There’s also the damning fact that Song Huaien was the man taking care of logistics from the Ningshuo side. And he did his job really poorly, since multiple deliveries of substandard grain and clothing somehow made it through. But was it out of maliciousness? Was there ever a conscious decision on his part to let things slip? Not necessarily. It looks bad, sure. But let’s not forget that dealing with the capital sharks may be a first for Song Huaien, regardless of his previous experience as a procurement officer. Whatever his experience, it was either at the very end of the supply chain or it was mainly related to supplies coming from the area closest to Ningshuo. The former wouldn’t have prepared him for his present duties. And as for the latter, I think that the Ningshuo province has its own rules and ways, which are in no way comparable to the shark pond that the capital undoubtedly is. What’s more, Huaien really seems to buy into the illustrious capital life; it would not surprise me if he delegated a few things that should not be delegated simply because he was busy taking it all in!

So, intentional crime or crime of negligence? I’d be inclined to vote for negligence. It just fits what we know about Song Huaien up to that point, it fits his current circumstances and it makes Xiao Qi’s reaction quite reasonable.

The second strike against Huaien’s integrity is his love for the finer things in life. But then, is it really such a damning thing? Many of the Ningshuo soldiers must have experienced the same thing upon their arrival into the capital. Here they are, heroes and patriots all, having spent their whole life either on various battlefields or in decidedly non-luxurious circumstances. Why, they must be quite happy if they get enough to eat, which they do only because they have an honest general who cares about them very much. Other armies are not as lucky! And then they are shown all those useless noble scions, some of whom might nominally be officers despite barely knowing how to hold a sword (and even those swords would be ceremonial ones, so mostly useless). I don’t know about you, but I’d be bitter. Some of Xiao Qi’s closest clearly are, although he tends to shut that down very quickly. Also, covetousness is not a crime as long as Song Huaien is not actively taking bribes or jockeying for profit. And there is no proof of that. His manor and his title are both given to him without him ever asking for them. If he appreciates that… well, that is also not a crime and he doesn’t even gloat openly! As it later turns out, he took both as his due, believing that his talents were seen and duly appreciated outside the Ningshuo army.

Sooo… Nothing out of ordinary on that count. And seeing that at one point Song Huaien offers to use his savings to repair the ailing military budget – whether from guilt or from sense of duty – speaks to his advantage.

Now, let’s take a look at his unrequited love for Awu. I mean, is it any wonder he falls for her? I am half in love with her myself, so I totally get it! What matters is what he does with this love. Quite surprisingly, there is no attempt at coming between her and Xiao Qi. Why, Song Huaien actively tries to help their marriage by convincing Awu to return home from the temple. No hesitation there! And while he might realize he’s actually in love very late in the story (by this point it’s obvious to everybody), the realization itself changes very little. He gets very determined to go through with marrying Yuxiu, that’s it. Still no attempts to make a move on Awu. Even that flower he brought back from the Imperial Mausoleum was not an overly romantic gesture – she asked and he did as she asked in order to make her happy, nothing more. There’s also a genuine attempt to get over her. He goes to Yuxiu on their wedding night and despite the initial haziness on the matter, he seems to know quite well she’s not Awu and does his best. Although that bro slap in the morning… Let’s believe he did his best there too, the poor awkward thing. He gives her an actual hug when he comes back from Jiangnan! Progress!

What finally buried the theory that Song Huaien might rebel in order to take Awu away from Xiao Qi was his convo with Wang Su in episode 55. I was so afraid (just as I was afraid on his wedding night) that he might do something stupid. Like asking for Awu’s hand or betraying his romantic intentions towards her. But no. While Song Huaien tells Wang Su that he wants/needs to find Awu, there’s no romantic intent there, only duty towards Xiao Qi’s wife and respect towards a woman who has earned it many times over. If there is anything else, I just can’t see it! Why, during this whole conversation Song Huaien is more broken up about Xiao Qi than about Awu!

Whether Song Huaien manages to get over his love or not, there is no sign he was ever going to do anything about it, not while Xiao Qi lived and perhaps not even now that he’s supposed to be dead. Moreover, he made every possible effort to suppress his emotions out of sheer guilt and feeling of brotherhood towards Xiao Qi. Marrying Yuxiu might have been a bad, bad choice (although I still hope for the best), but it was a choice made for the best of reasons.

So that’s it, right? Well, wrong. Even with all of the above there was still a possibility for him to go the villain route. Except… he actually seems to be redeeming himself in leaps and bounds. Once away from the capital, Song Huaien seems to throw off the capital’s thrall and becomes the best version of himself. Jumping into stormy waters in clear disregard of any danger? Working tirelessly towards a common goal and for the good of the people? That’s pure Ningshuo stock, no moral rot in sight! Now, why would the narrative have him getting back to his old self only to make him regress again?

There’s also no real reason for him to ever go against Xiao Qi. If that was going to happen, I’d have expected at least some signs of bitterness and jealousy to have shown up by now. And yet there’s nothing, at least not towards Xiao Qi. Who, might I add, really does his best to mitigate any potential bitterness in the bud. Just look at the way they resolve the corruption scandal! And I’m not talking about Xiao Qi burning (or not burning?) the incriminating page. What got my attention is what their conversations over the matter boil to. Which is: Listen, brother, I get that you’ve been having some issues, but get your shit together. And please, take care of yourself. I don’t want you to get in trouble, so please remember that there are people watching your every step. No overt accusations, no anger in sight, maybe the slightest bit of sternness, but heavily undercut with roughly expressed care. And it’s the same with their confrontation over Awu. I know what’s going on with you and my wife, but I 100% get it, mate, so take a moment and decide how to proceed from here. Even if Song Huaien was actively seeking a reason to hold a grudge, it would take a truly rotten seed to find one. And a rotten seed Song Huaien is not.

Now, let’s wrap it up by going over Wang Su’s suborning of Song Huaien in episode 55. It’s really something special, as well as the main reason I’m choosing to reject any possibility of SHE/XQ showdown.

Wang Su waylays Song Huaien on his way out of camp. Song Huaien is clearly very emotional at this moment and not really inclined to stop for anybody. Why, I think that he was fully prepared to go through Wang Su if needed. It is also quite probable that his decision to leave for the capital was made on the spot, once he heard about what happened to Xiao Qi, Awu and his comrades. Yet he stops and listens, if only because Wang Su – Awu’s brother and Xiao Qi’s brother-in-law - should be his natural ally in his quest to clear Xiao Qi’s name. As he proclaims to be by announcing his willingness to join Song Huaien on his journey to the capital.

Wang Su (or rather Daddy Wang possessing Wang Su’s body) takes full advantage of Song Huaien’s state. First he breaks out a prop, Awu’s favourite wine. It does not work as well as it could have and I’d say that at this point Song Huaien remains quite astute as to Wang Su’s weird behaviour. His first outburst shows he’s got little patience for games. Awu is your sister and Xiao Qi your brother in law, he reminds Wang Su, who seems very controlled for a man with much more obvious ties to this whole situation than Song Huaien. Wang Su skips around the issue by taking out his ace card, the Empress Dowager’s order. Predictably, it takes Song Huaien off-balance and incites a sense of debt, if not gratitude. An excellent opening from the shapeshifting Daddy Wang! Then Wang Su makes an attempt at aiming Song Huaien at the Empress Dowager… and it doesn’t work. Song Huaien doesn’t care about his own life half as much as he cares about Xiao Qi. Cue a mournful soliloquy! There is no way a man this broken about his brother’s death is going to try to kill said brother in the 13 episodes remaining (less, in fact, since they will not meet until 59 or 60 at the earliest). There would be no build-up! The only way I can see this happening is if Xiao Qi went against Song Huaien first and in a deeply personal way. Which we know he would never, so...

Wang Su makes a brave attempt at corralling Song Huaien’s grief and turning it to anger, for all that he may say that anger will not help anyone; it doesn’t work and self-blame enters the picture. If only I was with him leads to a startling realization: all those honors and the brand new posting were just a ploy. Now, this realization could lead to two different results. Song Huaien could plausibly become bitter towards Xiao Qi – because of whose very existence his own talents weren’t truly recognized and he himself became a pawn. But there’s nothing to suggest that’s true. It’s more likely for Song Huaien to turn his bitterness over his wounded pride towards the Empress Dowager in particular and scheming nobles in general. Which is what I think he does. There is also a possibility of guilt: he bought into this whole noble life fairytale… and this is what partially facilitated him being turned into a pawn. It may be just wishful thinking, but I expect that in the future Song Huaien will be more wary of unexpected meat pies falling from the sky, however tasty they may be.

Just a moment later Wang Su offers him a meat pie. He’s going to help him take revenge! And Song Huaien swallows it whole – at least for now. This is where a truly interesting thing happens. Song Huaien, a general in his own right, a true hero and a man who’s been acting as Wang Su’s equal while in Jiangnan… folds and takes to a subordinate position like a duck to the water. Tell me what to do, he seems to be screaming with his eyes. And when Wang Su starts to use the word we, there’s a palpable sense of relief in Song Huaien’s whole demeanor. What’s more, he’s not reacting to the idea that he still needs to jump through some hoops in order to become a Wang minion. I’m not sure you’re ready to become my ally, lies Wang Su, knowing very well Song Huaien’s is already in his palm. Where’s the ambition? Where’s the slightest sign that this man may be capable of going for the throne for his own sake and against his brother? I don’t see it!

The Wang family is used to needing to pay their allies in hard coin (or titles, or favours), that much is clear, because that’s what Wang Su tries next. The title of a count is too lowly, he says and then dangles a princely one in front of his victim. If Song Huaien was really as hungry for honours and wealth as some of us were expecting him to be, he’d be all over that. But he’s not. He gives it due consideration, but, if anything, this proposition seems to bring him back to reality. There are no free meat pies to be had and he’s just remembered that. But since this is the best – and likely the only – proposition/offer of help he’s going to get, he seals the deal anyway.

There’s still some reluctance, though. Why, Song Huaien needs to rationalize this decision by reminding himself that Wang Su saved his life and that there’s revenge to be taken since he’s alive (as Xiao Qi is not). Not very eager to take part in a coup, is he? And then he actually makes getting justice for Xiao Qi a condition of this alliance! Finding Awu is the second one, but as I’ve already said, there seems to be no romantic intentions there.

And that’s it, the deal is done. So now, can anybody tell me how is this Song Huaien supposed to go against Xiao Qi? He’s more likely to go for a hug once he sees him alive!

There is no reasonable way to leave in Song Huaien’s conflict with Xiao Qi. There’s just no time and no real build-up to that! The only way to have him go rogue is to have a timeskip with Song Huaien doing a 180 in the meantime. And somehow I just can’t see it happening. But I guess we’ll have to see about that!

#SONG HUAIEN IS A GOOD BOY #it's not just because his hair looks nice I swear #I'm not that shallow or am I #the rebel princess #monarch industry #rebel princess meta #this is kinda long

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hopevalley · 4 years ago

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Season 8, Episode 11: Changing Times

Well, as it turns out, my second Covid vaccine kicked me down hard. After sleeping for quite a long time, though, I’m tired of sleeping and ready to try and get this write-up done.

Surprisingly, or...perhaps not so surprisingly, I don’t think I have that much to say about last night’s episode. I think we’re just too close to the finale for me to feel “safe” in guessing/hoping for anything in particular.

Let’s hit up the plot points like before:

The Triangle

Carson & Faith

Rosemary’s Purpose

School District Problems

Jesse’s Disappearance

The Triangle

I’m probably one of the few people who liked Nathan who felt like the whole beginning scene was super weird and uncomfortable. Homegirl held his hand for one second in the last episode and now she’s going to warm his serge by the fire (while he just stands there awkwardly??? He could have done that himself while she got him some tea or something idk) and then dress him???

I think we’re meant to see that as her going back to...I don’t know...old habits die hard or something? But she was barely married for any time at all and it’s been three years since Jack died. No way would she be so far into those old habits that she’d fall back into them with Nathan lmao.

Like, it’d be a REALLY GOOD PLOT for a character who had been married for years and lost a spouse (cough Abigail cough) but considering the circumstances it felt like a cheesy fanfiction! I wanted to like it, but I just felt weird about it. Tonal whiplash out the wazoo.

Especially when we had to watch Lucas drive by and see Nathan’s horse at Elizabeth’s house.

Lucas sadly watching Elizabeth talk to Nathan was also awkward, but at least it gave him the courage he needed to break things off with her.

You’d think I’d have a lot to say about the triangle, but I’m saving all of that for some kind of...post-season discussion. Who is she going to pick? Nathan seems like the most logical writing choice, but it could yet be Lucas. I genuinely don’t care who she chooses so long as she picks someone.

Carson & Faith

I like to hate on these two a lot, so you might be surprised to know that I’m enjoying their storyline. I’ve criticized this series over and over for never bothering to portray realistic relationships and one thing I can say about Faith and Carson this season is that things actually feel...plausible.

I also appreciate how they try to tie Carson into the town a bit more: he talks to Henry and Minnie and even Lucas trying to figure things out! It makes perfect sense to me; how do you choose between someone you care about/the potential life you could make with them, and a career that you’re really and truly passionate about?

This is the most interesting Carson has been since Season 5.

Anyway, the pudding scene was genuinely funny, and a great way to break up the stress that I’m sure we were all feeling about his impending proposal. Faith’s reaction to thinking he might propose was...pretty telling. I really wish they hadn’t saved so many dangling plotlines to solve in the final episode, though. I was hoping Faith and Carson’s storyline would be fully figured out in the penultimate episode so that we could let him go (or whatever) in the season finale. It just seems to me like it would be a good, smooth ending for them.

Also, for what it’s worth, they tried doing this kind of plot with Frank in Season 5, but it was rushed and pulled out of thin air; he’d never shown an inclination toward pastoring toward dying children in the past and it was clear that they just needed to write him off the show. With Carson, this sort of plotline works VERY well; he was a surgeon, and he was passionate about it, but that passion took a hit when his wife needed surgery and she died on the table under his hands. He’s had some time to move on from that and process his feelings, so it makes sense that he’d find that passion again. I just wanted to point this out because it’s interesting how well it works for Carson and how...well, not-well it worked with Frank. I really felt like with Frank, it was just a storyline that could have been given to anyone with the same success rate, whereas with Carson they took a look at the character and what we already know of him, and built the storyline specifically for him. That’s good writing, babes!

Anyway, Carson trying to propose in the vague hope that Faith will come with him, even knowing she doesn’t want to leave Hope Valley, is pretty manipulative and awful, but it really goes a long way toward making his character feel like an actual person. Like yeah, he does actually want the best of both worlds. Do you blame him?

Rosemary’s Purpose

I know a lot of people are really into this storyline but I found it boring. The only good part was when Lee called the other desk in his office “hers.” Everything else just felt like a bit too much to come to the conclusion that she should run a paper. We already had her “advice” column in the paper and it was...amusing while it lasted, but eh. I just don’t see good storylines coming for her from this angle, especially when they went the route of her finding out she wants to start the paper back up to share information with the town. Are we really going to trust Rosemary’s integrity when it comes to writing news stories, especially when MOST of the time the things she’ll be allowed to write about are, you know, who grew the biggest cabbage? It makes me dread the potential for Round Two of Nosy Rosie.

I dunno. I used to really like Rosemary but this season’s been pretty rough on her character. Good for you for wanting to find your passion career, but most of us work so that we can eat, not for a fun way to pass the time and stay busy. :/

School District Problems

Mr. Landis is right and Elizabeth is an idiot. Sure the school board is being assholes for no reason (as if they’d care if one blind child was sitting in a classroom in one western town lol), but Elizabeth’s really going to dismiss his concerns about how she can juggle the added work necessary to teach Angela while also keeping up with everyone else?

It sucks that Angela will get left out, but Elizabeth should be working with Mr. Landis to come up with a plan to teach Angela without sacrificing the education of her other students. Better yet, she could rely on her friends for advice. Like Rosemary.

Still no apology there...

Anyway, a projected 100 new kids? That’s outlandish. The only way that will happen is if they open a factory in Hope Valley, and even then it could take years. I MEAN, WHERE IS THE HOUSING GOING TO BE FOR ALL THE ADULTS THAT WOULD GIVE YOU A HUNDRED NEW STUDENTS LOL. I think we have to assume the plotlines are connected.

I also find it hard to believe the board would care about Elizabeth being certified to teach Angela. Where else is she going to get an education? It’s 1918 in the middle of almost nowhere???

This show drives me nuts with its attempt to be a “Frontier Show” while also shying away from the characters actually being stranded/cut off from society at large. You still had unlicensed teachers teaching in western towns in this time period because nobody cared!!!

ANYWAY, if Union City was like 3 miles away I could see them trying to combine schools. But it isn’t. So.

I dunno. I hate this plotline. I feel like they stole it from a better show (Road to Avonlea, where the bigger school was just a few miles away and it made sense to consider combining the schools for a better education system for the students as one-room schoolhouse teaching was proven to be less effective) but didn’t bother to consider any of the logistics of the storyline.

Maybe it’s my passion for education and history that makes me hate it, though. I know too much to find this storyline believable. I should also mention that I haven’t enjoyed Elizabeth’s role as teacher for a very long time. (I think they suck at writing Elizabeth as a teacher.)

I’m just not interested in wherever this is going to go because I can’t imagine it’ll have a lasting impact.

The only good thing I can say about the whole plotline is that I REALLY LIKED HOW BILL CAME OUT OF IT. I think he’s the only person who knows how to speak to Elizabeth. She struggles with blunt honesty at first, but ultimately tends to appreciate it, and that’s pretty much what she always gets with Bill. Also, the scene where he shuts her down didn’t make her look stupid, either (just worried/anxious), so I could appreciate it.

Jesse’s Disappearance

I couldn’t care less about this plotline if I tried. Jesse’s gone missing in the mountains before (was it last season? I don’t even remember because I didn’t give a damn about it then either) so this felt like a multi-reused plotline...for the same character, no less.

It’s also poorly implemented. Why doesn’t anyone else care about Jesse? Why is Clara pouring her heart out to Lee while her friends are failing to support her in the slightest? Why should any of us care when we know he’ll be fine?

It just feels so forced for the sake of drama, and it’s made 10x worse because there’s too much else going on at the same time.

Also, how convenient that they have to tell us how hard-working and dedicated Jesse is to his work to force this plot to even make sense... C’mon, he has never been a particularly dedicated to work. They just needed to explain why he would have left the car so that he could be “missing.”

Boring. I also don’t care that much about their “stolen” money.

The only good thing in all of this is seeing how soothing of a voice Lee actually has.

The best parts of the episode:

Henry calling Florence “Flo” GOT ME. It was so surprisingly cute???

I love Bill, and he really came out of this episode looking great! Finally, it seems they’re done writing him as a grouchy old man who hates everyone! In this season (and particularly in this episode), he is allowed to be capable, smart, helpful, loyal, and in possession of a great deal of integrity. I couldn’t believe that guy tried to bribe the judge in town right off the bat lmao...but the way Bill handled it felt very in character—very reminiscent of him from S3 or 4. He never shuts things down immediately, preferring instead to get more information to use against his, erm...opponent. Should he need it, of course. I was really happy to see him written well in this episode.

HENRY’S LETTER FROM HIS SON. STARTS OFF WITH “DAD,” AND SAYS PS. I LOVE YOU AT THE BOTTOM. Good for Henry.

Fiona’s backstory! Finally, we get some FIONA LORE. Neat.

PUDDING HANDS CARSON.

#when calls the heart

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persephunee · 4 years ago

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LETS TALK “IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY” AKA, PSYCHO BUT IT’S OKAY

There is so much I want to say about this kdrama that I think some of it is going to have to be in dot points because I don’t know how else to string my thoughts cohesively. After watching episode 9, it’s further cemented how much I love this drama, how amazing I think the entire crew behind it is, and how I think this drama is such a huge step in the right direction in creating conversation about not just mental illness, but what it means to be human. It tests/pushes the viewers compassion and empathy constantly to show us just how important it is to break stereotypes. Do not get me wrong, I don’t think it’s absolutely 100% the PERFECT depiction of mental illness however you have to give it some leeway as mental illness is such a vast topic to cover and ultimately everyones experiences with mental health is going to be different.

Disclaimer: If you have watched this drama and find certain things offensive, or interpret things different to my opinion I understand. Everything I say here is what I think and feel and everyones entitled to disagree. I also love to discuss things in depth so please feel free to reply with your own thoughts!!

THE ENDING SCENE WAS SUCH AN emotional punch in the gut. The way they used the running joke of the show (where the characters ask who someone loves more and don’t get answer) as a build up to this climax where Sang Tae’s emotions that he’s been internalising, explodes is just... see you know that this is going to happen but the WAY they did it was phenomenal? You felt Sang Tae’s pain. And even though prior to this you can assume that he was traumatised from that event and Kang Tae’s words, it was both amazing and excruciatingly heartbreaking to see him finally verbalise this and release all this pent up resentment. He loves his brother so much and he feels so much pain thinking that the only family he has left wants him dead. It puts into perspective all the scenes where he’s terrified of Kang Tae being angry with him. Because he’s terrified his brother will hate him so much and leave him to drown just like he did that day.

Kang Tae on the other hand... I don’t even know how to express how much empathy I have for him and how much his breakdown broke my heart. Kang Tae loves his brother. He never meant what he said when they were kids and to this DAY he feels excruciating guilt over almost leaving his brother to drown. He loves his brother and he never meant the words he said, he was a child who was exhausted carrying a burden and expectations that he never should have had in the first place. He has spent every day since then to atone for it, and just when he’s beginning to feel that he can be his own person and forgive himself, the source of his guilt pain and trauma is thrown back in his face. His devotion to Sang Tae was not just a product of his mother, but his over whelming guilt for what he said (and almost did) to Sang Tae. Kang Tae deserves to forgive himself but it’s so painful to watch the process unfold because he has to address the trauma/feelings before he can make any move to forgiveness.

also a little side note on Moon Young and the fact that she shed tears watching.

It will be interesting to see how the show handles this. Both brothers love each other. Sang Tae needs to forgive Kang Tae and find a way to not only trust him again but understand him. And Kang Tae needs to find a way to ultimately forgive himself and make things right with his brother.

I also saw someone mention kang tae using the butterfly method on himself and EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO CRY. I will credit that person who noticed it (x)

wow... that’s already a lot so rest of my thoughts are under the cut !

The writers of this show have done an amazing job to make sure everything has a purpose. All the characters are important to the story and they aren’t just there for the sake of filling screen time. For EG: that guy who started the rumour at the end of the episode about Kang Tae + Moon Young and them getting married. He wasn’t just someone we haven’t come to know. In fact in one episode he was even a character who illustrated how employees at psychiatric hospitals/wards can be overworked etc. and how that can affect a person. His characterisation as well is spot on. I hate him fo what he did episode 9, but when you look at the way he would gossip and judge the patients unprofessionally in previous episodes it grounds his character more. It wasn’t OCC for him to do, and so it feels less like he’s just a catalyse to propel the story forward, and more organic.

I was also immensely happy this episode that the couple who fell in love at the hospital (Areum and Jung Tae), parted ways. I was so happy the writers didn’t just try to get off easy by showing them eloping together (or continuing a relationship). He was mature enough to realise they were not ready, that he had a lot more work to do before they can enter a healthy relationship. This show heavily leans on fairytales and could have easily gone the Disney route of showing them happy together as if they didn’t have more healing and growth to do. The writers said no NOT today sir!

Coming back to Kang Tae and MoonYoung. THE KISS! I think it’s important to note that Kang Tae initiates the kiss, because all this time Moon Young has been pressuring him and if she were the one to initiate the kiss it would have felt forced and wrong. Kang Tae decided on his terms when he would break down that barrier and reciprocate. I also really loved the parallel of them seeing each other as when they were kids. They’ve been stuck in their trauma, both of them running away or hiding from their past and now time is starting again as they both navigate how to face it. Kang Tae kissing Moon Young wasn’t him saying “I love you” but more a sign that he was taking down his brick wall one piece at a time.

Also appreciated that after the high of getting suspended wore off they showed Kang Tae feeling regret and reassessing his decisions about finally letting go haha. This is an important moment to have, as it shows that you’re not just magically fixed. You don’t just suddenly go from suppressing all your emotions so far down you barely flinch when a knife slices your hand open, to WOOOPY I’M GONNA BE HAPPY NOW AND LET MY EMOTIONS GOO, without having that moment of “oh crap... “ after you’ve come down from the high.

OH JUNG SE DESERVES TO BE RECOGNISED for his acting as Sang Tae because honestly wow. I’ve seen him in other dramas before but he’s shining so bright in this drama and I really hope that not only him, but the other actors and writer and directors get recognition for this.

Another thing I really loved was finally getting to understand more what happened between Moon Young and Juri! It makes sense now why Juri resents her and maybe even is a little scared of her. Juri had every right to have multiple friends, but I can also understand Moon Young feeling betrayed and abandoned. They were kids, and I think this is a case of wanting to fit in with everyone. Juri was given the opportunity to be normal and fit in, and she took it without thinking of how that made Moon Young feel. And Moon Young dealt with her emotions and the situation the only way she knew how. THIS ALSO BTW IS A NICE PARALLEL TO Sang Tae and how he wants Kang Tae to only be close to him )albeit for different reasons but yes). MoonYoung on a level understands Sang Tae’s need to keep Kang Tae to himself because she’s felt similar emotions before.

Okay but I also love how this show illustrates taking 2 steps forward and one step back is okay. Healing and growth is not always linear and you’re going to stumble, fall back, and relapse and that is okay. It doesn’t mean you’re not going to take 2 steps forward again, or 3, or 4. It’s all part of the process, and part of being human.

Ugh omg there is so much more I want to say but I should probably end this post here. I think I need a whole other post just to discuss the dynamics between Moon Young, Sang Tae, and Kang Tae. If you read this far CONGRATULATIONS. You’re a star hahaha

#psycho but it’s okay #iotnbo #psycho but it's okay #pbio #thoughts... lots of htem #i just love this drama so much #kdrama #drama

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border-spam · 5 years ago

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Leech Lord AU - Char Breakdown

Seifa A’rosk / Seifa Ur-Machina / Saint of the God King’s Mechanica

Bless u @nikyri-art and @lazulizard for the art! List of character traits and world-building facets for this character within my story. The Leech Lord Au is the one all other twins content I’ve written is set in.

Troy’s is HERE Tyreen’s is HERE

Note, ye asked and ye received. Literally my first OC ever, no clue what I’m doing, constructive feedback is 100% welcome.

Physical Details:

Right handed.

Very short, 4′11″, and rarely seen out of heeled boots.

5 years older than the twins, in her mid twenties when she came across the scabby looking rat who introduced herself as Tyreen.

Long auburn hair she usually wears in waves.

Right side shave, warm blue eyes, septum/eyebrow/labret facial piercings

Average bodyweight, hourglass shape.

Saint sigil tattoo between her shoulderblades.

Couple of small scars across torso, stab wound near navel, nicks across left ribs.

Visible facial scar is paper thin and streaks across her right brow into her hairline. Tells everyone this was from a knife fight, but was actually from an echodevice she was trying to scavenge components from blowing in her face a decade ago. Figures she might as well try and get some intimidation points out of it.

Relaxed punk aesthetic she carries into her engineering uniform.

Usually covered in homemade jewelry.

Backstory:

Sei is a migrant junker/mechanic, and has been running a solo career as one since her late teens.

She has no memory of family, and doesn't care in the slightest. Figures she was probably sold into child labor before she was old enough to remember who they were. Loses no sleep over this and rarely gives it any thought.

Grew up traveling with her "Boss" (head of the scavenging ring who managed herself and the other skinny little kids she was raised with) between different rim planets including Pandora, scrapping and repairing tech while scavenging the thousands of ship husks dumped during the corporate wars.

Spent her formative years constantly surrounded by other children and teens who helped each other get each other through what should have been a relatively lonely existence, and developed a close family bond with many.

Retained contact with a lot of them in adulthood. They operate a network of mechanics and engineers across the system, a few of which come to work within the COV Mechanica when they realise she can offer safety.

Spent her childhood and teens learning the art of the deal from her boss, accompanying him on trade runs, market dealings, debt collections, anything and everything he figured would help her in the long term. Learned everything she could while accompanying him as a kid, like a filthy little sponge in too-big overalls and a runny nose.

Engineering and mech skills have been honed from years of pulling apart and crawling into junked ships, repairing and reselling on components for profit.

At 19, she had saved enough to purchase a shitty little rehashed transport ship from her Boss, and set out to start her own trade. They've kept in touch and are on friendly grounds. Still calls him Boss. Never actually learned his name, it didn’t matter.

Seifa spends years migrating between outer planets, building a reputation with her bartering and trade skills. Playing idiot traders like instruments, flirting her way into high profit deals, and starting bar fights. She doesn’t take part in them mind you, she’s a lady. She just starts them.

It’s an easy way to get a group of “eager investors” to weed out the lesser competition, and leave you able to playfully manipulate yourself into the good graces of someone who’s too horny and pumped up on the hormonal rush of the fight to realise that they are the mark.

Moves to the next planet once she's outstayed her welcome, but always makes more friends than enemies.

At 25, finds a terrified and not remotely intimidating girl in a Pandoran junkyard, who pulls a gun on her. Tyreen tries to mug her with a shitty SMG that's clearly out of ammo, has a jammed trigger, and gets laughed at in response. Gets called a weird, stupid kid. Gets interrogated about how she is too old to be on Pandora and still alive if this is how clueless she is, so what’s going on?

Ty breaks down into tears and begs to please, please get her some medicine. Her "Brother is so sick” and he's “all she has now”, and they've “no money, no supplies. It wasn’t meant to go like this, it shouldn’t have gone like this but they didn’t know what it would be like.." and in a rare moment of empathy likely routed in years of being around kids this stupid, and clueless, and dumb ... Seifa helps.

Traits: ✓ Positive x Negative:

✓ Confident, both in her appearance and knowledge.

Sei is a jack of all trades, master of none. Her range of knowledge is broad and useful, and her confidence stems both from her well maintained physical appearance, and general competency in most situations where she needs to be.

✓ Socially skilled, fast learner, adaptable.

She’s been learning on her feet as long as she can remember, and is highly socially skilled, though a lot of her “nice” interactions can be a veneer. She holds people at arms length without them realising she’s not being as open and friendly as she appears.

✓ Self sufficient, reliable, trustworthy.

An adult lifetime of needing to rely solely on herself has left her highly sufficient, and very dependable. Seifa is the kind of person you call when you need something done, and don’t need to ask questions about how she gets you your results. You’ll get what you need.. just don’t hassle her about how she achieved it. You’ll be told to piss off, very clearly.

✓ Excellent negotiator, skilled in controlling conversations and manipulating others from years of trading for a living.

Seifa has been learning how to argue, shift conversations towards her own goals, and turn competitors on each other since she was barely able to carry a wrench. She’s an excellent dealer, and can drop into one of her many characters instantly when they’d help shift a contract towards her gain. Floozy giggling newcomer? Got it. Clueless naive big spender? No problem. Trade baroness about to crush your knuckles? Game on.

It’s something the twin strays she rescues are very interested in learning from her.

✓ Naturally friendly, and deeply caring for those she bonds with.

Sei is generally easy to get on with, between her decent set of social skills and ability to quickly read people, she comes across as quite friendly and overall pleasant to most people. She’s very slow to become genuine around others or show her caring side, an understandable side effect of the kind of life she’s lived, but her close friends are very close, and see her as one for life.

✓ Lawful Neutral.

Morals are decent ( for a Pandoran) , and is always willing to help someone if it's not too much hassle or won’t put her out. Like the majority of people living on this rock however, she won’t put strangers before her own safety or wellbeing.

x Very vain.

Sei will sacrifice functionality for style in the Mechanicum without a second thought, and will become frustrated and snappy if unhappy with her appearance and forced into social situations. She’s had a lifetime of curating her looks and using them as a tool, and hates being seen “out of character”.

x Self focused.

She won’t risk harm physically or to her reputation for someone she has no stake in. Fact of life on Pandora is that people who do that don't tend to live very long, and she’s highly aware of that. Close friends and children are about it when it comes to who she’d take a risk for, and bandits slaughtering each other or ransacking towns is unlikely to be something she’d be very phased by. It’s not that she doesn’t care, she just doesn’t allow herself to.

x Irritable, easily brought to frustration or insulted. Holds grudges badly.

Seifa manages her collected and cool outer demeanor by pushing it over her emotional state. It’s a defense mechanism she’s learned from a lifetime of being in situations where emotion = weakness. Her high personal opinion of herself and pride in her skill means she takes to being insulted very easily. A subordinate who doesn’t show her respect won’t stay in her department long, and an equal who treats her like an underling? She will Never. Let. It. Go.

x Snappy and unpleasant when stressed or overworked, unable to handle emotion based arguments.

Seifa’s response to stress or frustration is to become overwhelmingly in control of the situation, and fiercely logical. Her social niceness evaporates and she defaults to the simple level of “Get this shit done NOW, and don’t question me” when it comes to dolling out required tasks. This is a bad thing to couple with arrogance. She is also completely incapable of arguing with someone who uses emotion instead of logic as their drive, and so while she is able to communicate with Troy very well even in heated times as they both default to logic, arguments between herself and Tyreen can become vicious, as neither is capable of expressing themselves in the other’s language when frustrated.

x Loyalty to close friends can overpower her better judgement in situations.

She’s completely aware of the hypocrisy of this weakness considering the front she likes to portray, being cold and unaffected by problems, but has never been able to stop herself from making this same mistake. Over and over.

x Noticeably arrogant, no respect for the chain of command.

Relying on her gut for survival through her life left her with an inflated sense of worth for her own opinion, and she finds it very hard to really convince herself that others may be the better option, or have more value than her own. This means she can also easily forget her place if she thinks a superior is in the wrong. Has earned her a stab to the abdomen and a broken wrist in the past. Both healed, both scarred. Her arrogance towards the twins, being that they are younger and far less experienced than her in general life, has caused multiple confrontation. She know’s it’s a problem, and she’s trying to get better. She really is.

Likes:

Money.

Personal freedoms.

Self reliance.

Feeling admired and appreciated.

Close companionships with friends who see her as an equal.

Her advice being heeded.

Growing plants.

Tinkering with smalltime tech and gadgets.

The safety of the COV meaning she can finally settle in one place.

Respect.

Being wanted, physically and emotionally.

Tenderness.

Gaming, watching movies, appreciating art.

Crafting jewelry from scrap

Having her gentle, caring nature be valued.

Men.

Dislikes:

Bullshit. Can't stand people who don't communicate logically.

Being spoken down to.

Her appearance being mocked or intelligence belittled.

Social sycophancy.

Being lied to, having her trust broken when she so rarely gives it.

Unfairness, aimed at her or those she feels protective over ( friends, underlings )

Pointless violence.

Risk taking.

Most things considered *edible* on Pandora.

Men. -

Asks are Open!

#borderlands 3 #bl3 #borderlands #troy calypso #tyreen calypso #calypso twins #my writing #my hcs #seifa #leech lord

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aworldoffandoms · 5 years ago

Note

27 & 28 for Ethan x MC pretty please with a cherry on top 😍🥰

Authors Note: Hello! This Open Heart drabble* is from this list of prompts. Again, another long one! I’m sorry I just can’t stop writing 🙈

*it’s definitely more than 100 words so is it really a drabble? lol

Prompt is: how long have you wanted me & do you know how long I have wanted you?

I’m kind of iffy about how I interpreted these prompts because I didn’t go the nsfw route but I hope you like them anyway.

Prompt is in bold.

Thanks for the prompt! Enjoy another jealous Ethan 💖

***

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC [Nicolette Valentine]

Word Count: 1, 100 +/- (give or take a few words…idk really)

Rating: G

Warnings: No warnings…just another work of Ethan being jealous. Some angst. Oh, and some fluff at the end! Enjoy!

Summary: Nicolette is fed up with Ethan’s stupidity (and the little green monster). What happens next? Read on!

I’m tagging my OH tag list but please let me know if you’d like to stay on it or would like to be removed.

Open Heart Tag: @senseofduties @polishchoicesfan @princess-geek @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @binny1985 @fanficnewbie @x-kyne-x@thefluffyphotographer @lilyofchoices @thecordoniandiaries @rainbowsinthestorm @cxld-play @jens-diamondchoices @malakbesharah @hopelessly-shipper @my-heart-beats-for-ya @landofenchantedwonder @sabrinahoffersonsworld @flyawayboo @stanathanxoox @oofchoices @thequeenofcronuts @heauxplesslydevoted @bi-cookie @kingliamsbish @trappedinfandoms @supercoolperson0808 @perriewinklenerdie

***

A MAN’S STUPIDITY

“There is a time and a place for that and the on-call room isn’t it!”

Nicolette scoffs and glares at her superior, the man that is equal parts handsome and annoying wrapped in one seriously irritating package. She places her hands on her hips to hide the urge to shake him.

“Since when is taking a nap and then playing card games a crime, Ethan?”

Ethan brings his fingers up to rub against the bridge of his nose in frustration. It isn’t the fact that she was napping in the on-call room and it isn’t the fact that he caught her playing cards. It’s the person he caught her with and seeing that caused his stomach to tie up in knots.

The scalpel jockey Bryce Lahela.

Nicolette gauges his face and reads his body language. His shoulders are tense and the firm line of his jaw is clenched so tight that she swears his teeth would break. His free hand clenches at his side and unfurls a few times, another sign of his agitation.

Oh my god…

Really?

There is a disbelieving chuckle as Nicolette cards her fingers through her long auburn hair, the strands fall into her face and she pushes them back.

She waits a few moments before expressing her findings. She is sure she’s right. She knows Ethan Ramsey well and when he’s jealous he had a hard time hiding it. It was one of his lesser controlled qualities.

She clears her throat as she crosses her arms along her chest, her body language closed to him. He read her all the time and she will not give him the opportunity to do so.

“Is this what I think it is about? Because if it is I’m going to walk out right now. I can’t deal with your jealousy, Ethan.”

Ethan’s head snaps up at the ‘jealousy’ word and his jaw ticks in indignation. “I am not jealous.”

The roll of Nicolette’s eyes confirms that she didn’t believe him. “Yeah, spare me, Ethan. I don’t need this. I’ve had enough of your yo-yo-ing emotions. I’m done.”

Ethan’s heart sped in his chest at her words. Done? What did that mean?

He glances at Nicolette and his stomach drops at her face. She’s good at a poker face (ever since Miami she’s been practising) but she could never hide the emotions in her eyes. They were like an open book to him and they were telling him that she was hurting.

Ethan steps forward, his arms outstretched to gather Nicolette in his arms but she steps back with a warning glare.

“Don’t, Ethan.”

“Nicolette, I…”

His young fellow gives him a tight smile and heads for the door. “It’s alright Ethan. I understand you’re a difficult man to deal with. I get that. But I know my limitations and I know when to stop and this is it. It’s the final straw. The final nail in the bruised pin-cushion of my heart. I can’t do it anymore, Ethan.”

The defeat in her voice almost breaks him and Ethan feels like crap as a stone of dread drops to the pit of his stomach. He sees tears shining in her emerald eyes and her lip quivers.

Damnit. He’s such a bastard.

His stubbornness and his effort to resist her have hurt her immensely and he’ll never forgive himself for hurting her.

Before he can think about anything else he finds himself face to face with Nicolette, her body pinned against the wall of his office, out of sight of the door, the blinds closed to passers-by.

“Ethan, what are you—?”

Nicolette only has time to gather a few words before Ethan’s mouth descends on hers and she loses all thought and the ability to breathe. His mouth is gentle yet desperate as his hands wander her back and settle at her waist, his fingers tightening around her.

Nicolette gasps at the sensation and Ethan takes the chance to slip his tongue between the seam of her lips. The kiss deepens and it’s all-consuming, hot and heavy, the electric chemistry that always surrounds them coming to a precipice of longing need.

Ethan leaves his attention on Nicolette’s mouth to graze his lips against her neck and Nicolette rolls her head to the side to accommodate him.

Through gasping breaths, Nicolette seems to find her voice again. “Ethan…?”

Ethan hums against her neck in acknowledgement as he continues his journey towards the hollow of her throat, the scruff of his beard sending pleasant shivers through her.

“I’m guessing because you are kissing me that you’ve finally given thought to your stupidity?”

Ethan chuckles against her throat, his hands moving to the small of her back, his arms tightening against her to pull her closer. “You could say that…”

Nicolette senses there’s more so she supplies him with a prompt. “Or…?”

Ethan abandons his attention on her neck and brings his blue eyes to meet Nicolette’s gaze. Her heart jolts at what she finds. The insurmountable want, the desire, the need that’s always boiling below the surface all laid bare for her to see.

She’s always been curious about why Ethan took a fancy to her. She knew the moment she wanted him but she’s always wondered when he started feeling the same.

She makes sure that her voice takes on a teasing edge although she wants an answer from him.

“How long have you wanted me?”

Ethan mouth quirks in a smirk as he brings one of his hands off her waist to trail through her hair, which then gently caresses down her jawline. His eyes follow the movement and Nicolette has to remember how to breathe.

“Hmm…do you really want to know?”

Nicolette nods.

He shakes his head but brings his head closer so their noses touch, his voice a whisper against her face. “Do you know how long I have wanted you?”

His hands come up from her waist to cradle her face and his thumbs gently caress the apple of her cheeks. Nicolette’s heart stutters in her chest and desire pools in her abdomen at his touch and even more so at his words. The breath hitches in her throat as she just stares at the man in front of her.

She shrugs despite his intense stare heavily focused on her. “I don’t know. Enlighten me.”

Ethan’s chuckle is low which makes Nicolette tremble slightly at the sound. “Let’s just say I’ve been a fool to resist this for a very, very long time.”

Nicolette can’t help but laugh and she just rolls her eyes and initiates another kiss, her body melting into Ethan’s embrace.

The kiss lasts for a few minutes until they have to breathe again and Nicolette pulls back with a smile, her eyes closed as their foreheads touch.

“I better get back to work.”

Ethan nods, pressing a kiss to her forehead as he steps away from her, already missing her warmth.

“Right, of course.”

Nicolette giggles, her hand squeezing his as she leaves. As she turns to go she looks over her shoulder and winks.

“I’ll promise to play cards with you from on, okay, Ethan?”

Ethan groans, shooing her away but Nicolette laughs some more as she finds a tell-tale smile lifting his lips.

“Just go, Doctor Valentine.”

#open heart #open heart 2 #open heart second year #open heart fanfiction #choices fanfiction #writing prompt #choices prompt #anon ask #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey x mc #choices fandom #playchoices #long post

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lornahansonforbes · 4 years ago

Text

Prologue

If you’re reading this today, then you know I’m dead, dead to you as you are to me, and that should make you so very happy.

I gave it all up sitting at a red light.

This last piece is the final chapter of “The Emesis Tray of Feelings,” it’s a trilogy.

The trilogy contains one play, “Hot Neon Lights” and “Patina on the Edge,” which is a series of monologues and now this, “It Didn’t Happen,” a one act play.

The first installment, “Hot Neon Lights,” tells the story of two events. Act One is a very messy breakdown followed by the fourth and final attempt of my taking my own life. I failed four times. Act Two is about six to weeks later and the family meeting with the psychiatrist where they decide if I should be locked up in hospital or go cold Turkey. There was no option, no Grey area, only black and white.

“Patina on the Edge,” is a series of monologues that highlights moments of grand and glorious to being a homeless junkie who was sucking dick, meanwhile being a thief and a shitkicker was a great way to being truly infamous. Lofty goals. It parallels the story that’s laid out in “Hot Neon Lights.”

“It Didn’t Happen.” is a one act play with four scenes. Scene one, the night of the breakup and a month after the breakup. Scene two, a phone call about the breakup. Scene three, a group of friends who just saw the two aforementioned plays and are in a bar talking about what The New York Times will say about “Hot Neon Lights” and “Patina on the Edge.”

As you read this, do know that this is like Ivory Soap, ninety-nine and forty-four one hundredth percent (99 44/100%) true.

Several people have been merged into one character and not vice versa.

You should know that I died alone and bitter that I was never truly loved by anyone except by my dogs, Zoey, Chase, Auggie, The Brother Levi, CoCo and Harry; and my three cats, Rasselas, Othello and Belle Kitty.

I sadly cannot think of one person, past or present, who ever truly loved me.

I suffered with Bipolar Depression and Anxiety for a large portion of my life. The three guys who I stupidly referred to as my boyfriend, I see now that they barely tolerated me as did my family.

I don’t give a shit. You and whomever can say what you want about me and pepper it generously with Drama Qween. You do know that but I can only tell you what my perception was and how I saw things, but as usual, you’re right and I’m wrong. Fuck you, your opinion is paying for my funeral and you had the option not to read this.

Lastly, all the things I’ve written starting in the 1980’s and in between has been thrown out and erased etc. Yeppers. All gone. I kept it all but as of this entry, I threw it all out.

Since I’ve submitted to various outlets and people yet only to learn I’ve been ignored.

But you can find me on Tumblr and not on Tinder. Good luck with that.

Post Script:

I’ve told stories about how I lived and how I overcame. “You should write a book.” Motherfucker, don’t play with me. You ain’t gonna fucking read it. Why even bother existing? I’m done. If you really want to know, actually pick up the phone and call me. Bye, Felicia.

I forgot to tell you that someone asked me not to give up writing. Sorry but I’m not gonna change my mind about cutting off my nose to spite myself.

Scene One

The late summer sun was slowly going down as we approached the corner of Melrose and North Robertson.

Granted it was nearly 8:00 PM, the sun was still blazing away. I turned to look from the passenger seat to see people milling about waiting to go inside but also the paparazzi was there gawking and snapping pictures.

She slowed the car down for just a millisecond and then took a sharp left turn. Then Sister Mary of the Perpetual Parking Spot smiled down upon us and she pulled in and parked the car.

The restaurant sign read Ty’s Thai Tie Dye, an Indochina Conglomerate. We went inside and were seated way in the back. It was a jungle, flowers, potted trees and Passion Flower vines everywhere. The sun broke through like mosaic tiles.

Dinner was delicious and uneventful. She was now pulling up in front of my modest flat.

“Darling, I’m sure we’ve had a wonderful evening but I feel that my husband is all over us these past few weeks. I’m just so sick and tired of seeing his Gold Audi here and there every time we go out. Why can’t we agree to disagree with the fact that I’m who I am and you are you we aren’t able to carry on like this anymore. I know that I should break it to you gently, but let’s rip the fucking Band-Aid off, it’s over. Don’t speak. Let’s go our separate ways with our splendiferous memories and as the cliché states, when you do speak of me, be kind,” she blurted out without looking at me.

It took me a moment and then I watched her Black Jaguar Vandam Plas glide away and disappear. Nearly comatose, I fumbled for my keys and took those first tentative steps towards the front door. I saw my cat in the window and her deep gold eyes. We looked directly at each other. I got in my car only to pound the steering wheel with tears in my eyes.

“You ungrateful bitch,” I screamed so loud that my ears were ringing worse than being a rock concert.

I drove into the night with flashes of our tongues lashing about like in some porn as we tore our clothes off each other. She was moist. My turgidity.

I landed at Pfeiffer Beach and I saw a Sandpiper. Fuck my life. The sound of the crashing waves and the sun rising. Stumbling back to my car I spied that CHP had paid a visit with a bright orange parking ticket tucked neatly underneath the wiper blades. God damn it to hell.

When I turned the car over, the radio was blaring, some static but nonetheless it jangled my nerves.

“Now, I am strong enough. Now, I’m strong enough to accept change. Yes, my darling, if you want to live in another place, I can understand it. It’ gonna hurt for a little while, but I can understand it, but before you walk out that door, touch me in the morning,” this woman’s anger and hurt were front and center. We were simpatico at that moment. We were both in a world of hurt and she like me, we were not feeling it.

I tapped a button on my car radio and my playlist replaced her voice as I pulled into traffic on Route 1 South heading home leaving Pfeiffer Beach in my rear view mirror.

Whoever that female voice was previously on my radio, I felt like Kathy Bates and I was swinging that sledgehammer and I left her there to suffer.

Normally I’m not that guy who “gets in touch with their feelings.” It’s just not in my DNA and when I do “get in touch,” it’ll be like a Gatling gun. Crumpled up like a wad of paper, riddled with bullets and left to die gasping for breath in a pool of blood.

This morning I got up and was meandering around my neighborhood. I have absolutely no idea how it happened but I stopped into a local coffee shop and got a Chai Latte. I usually get a green juice with pomegranate and Acai.

I was in a deep, deep funk since I had dinner with my friend and she dumped me. Who was she to me? My girlfriend; friend with benefits: fuck buddy; mistress or just another conquest? Whatever it was, it was good and it lasted but it wasn’t like this hadn’t happened before and so this came to pass and now in my mind I heard Louis Prima singing, “…everywhere I go.” If I really wanted to hear that song, I’d rather find the David Lee Roth remake.

Apparently I got my steps in this morning without some contraption attached to me or some app on my phone. I plunked my narrow behind down on a concrete Jersey barrier and I looking at the waves crashing onto Dockweller Beach. I know it’s not Malibu Beach just a short drive North and it certainly wasn’t Malibu Beach in Boston. From that vantage point, you’ll see the highway and Sister Corita Kent’s artwork in the distance.

Seriously what the fuck, yo? Processing, tabulating, analyzing, and parsing the events of being dumped. I know I saw the data, but what did it reveal? Was it actually that simple or was I looking at the galley’s for the unabridged Cyrillic version of Tolstoy’s tome with copious notes in the margins. Could I decipher The Daily Jumble? Was I looking at some foreign language? Was I experiencing some sort of dyslexia? Sigh! Could I really clean this mess with a piece of used snotty paper?

I’m solving Pi!! Yeah, yeah!! That’s the ticket!!

I clenched my hand around my paper cup and almost spilled my Chai latte. I was fucking pissed.

“Ungrateful BITCH,” that right I said it and I said it with such furious anger venom was dripping of my fangs.

What a difference a day makes. Bull-fucking-shit. Something felt dissimilar yet had I seen the same thing from a different vantage point?

At that exact moment I heard one of those thumper cars approaching blaring something I didn’t understand anything but I did hear, “Baile, baile con El General” and just like that the car was gone. Was Joy Division only for headphones? This is Los Angeles not Colby College.

Perched on the Jersey barrier, I wasn’t contemplating why lint gets in my navel. I couldn’t dodge raindrops. Had I tabled my ego? Were my expectations quickly quieted? Was it like that thumper car; was I blaring or amplifying some sort of acceptance of defeat? The hounds had been released at the same time as I gave up my control? I can be that Type-A personality, driven and getting in touch with my feeling resided in an abyss somewhere, but the fuck if I know.

I felt dampness. Where am I now? Am I on the Maid of the Mist or standing underneath Niagara Falls? God damn it to hell!! I was crying. I normally don’t do that. I clenched my jaw so tightly I had TMJ.

“Mission Accomplished,” I think was actually the last time I did cry, but that was for my furry friends, Mickey & Minnie and then it was Stanley & Blanche. Do I get ahold of the anger in me? What the fuck? Maybe a word, a smile, an hour of happiness? NETX??!! I picked up my phone. I scrolled through my contacts. In a parallel universe, I called you a thousand times when I know I did not and I never will call you.

A boisterous and vociferous colony of seagulls appeared just a few yards away from me. Fuck. Hitchcock.

My paper cup is empty. I knew I had to dispose of it. Recycle, reuse, repurpose or like this affair, would it end up in a landfill? Just another thing to be unceremoniously and recklessly tossed away. It’s just a thing.

With a great exasperated sigh, eight months, two weeks and a day. That’s how long it lasted without me actually keeping track of it. Don’t go there. Don’t judge me. Men and women silently judge me and you but I can only assume they leave something on me so I don’t catch cold. Oh, shit. We had seen other naked. She fucking hurt me. Okay, I’m not that person, who’d scrawl, No Sale, on a mirror if I found a check and a note that read, “Last night was dope.”

My phone beeped, a text message letting me know I had to drive to Pacoima.

Gotta bounce. Later. Onto embrace the new challenges ahead and channel them into existence.

Scene Two

Part Three.

A Hello, bleep.

B How did you know it was me?

A I’ve known for a long time and plus it’s out there.

B Why did you say that?

A What did I say exactly?

B Don’t give me that bullshit. I saw it.

A I told you about how I felt but then I felt around in the dark and I didn’t know how that single cell actually started to feel like encouragement.

B What I said was to do it for yourself and not me.

A I did it for you first and then afterwards I got to me.

B You took more than you should have and you took it to another place. Also that’s not how it went down.

A It’s how some people work. As I told before, give me a thing to work with and I can easily create from there.

B I only told you about a sixteenth of what happened.

A But that was enough for me and those three sentences told me everything I needed to know. Fuck bleep, I told you recently about my Bipolar Depression and how I grapple with it hour by hour and mostly by myself with no assistance or guidance from anyone.

B I appreciate that and your candor but it makes me crazy. But fuck bleep, I know how mentally exhausted some people feel being in your orbit.

A Bleep, dude, we’re trying to get to that place in the day where we can say, I’m still here. First we get out of bed unassisted and the rest is gravy.

B Why such labels? I mean I know most of the names but you know I’m a tee shirt and jeans.

A Without inferring or intimating the slightest thing, I had a good feeling that who she is and most likely she has her own money but she doesn’t dismiss her husband’s money.

B I have my own money too but I’m not going to be seen eating on North Robertson.

A Possibly I’d see you at one place on Melrose or on Alameda and they’re not that far from where I put you. Then again, there’s a place around the way and you can walk there. I pay attention to things like that ever since I saw Russell Simmons ex wife Creamora eating at raw restaurant in LA a few years ago.

B Wow. How did find that out?

A She had a reality show and they showed her eating there and as a woman of color, she nearly lost her mind. One of things they served was a pizza but it wasn’t a New York pepperoni pizza all hot and gooey with cheese. I yelled at the TV, Gurl, I’ll take a slice. I’m in.

B Wait a minute, bleep. You told me you have issues with food.

A I do but sometimes I’ve got to throw caution to the wind and suffer with each delicious bite.

B So that’s why you fabricated that restaurant.

A Well, kinda sorta. When I was in LA, I found a great little Thai place a few blocks away from The Dolby and if I remembered the name I would’ve told you about it. They’ve got some amazing vegan options.

B This is one of the things I find about you, you know some of the most trivial things and it’s fucking scary.

A Bleep, I just hope I don’t actually lose my mind. I’d hope that you or someone else would put me down if dementia or Alzheimer’s effected me.

B Don’t say that. I sometimes like it when you remember what happened way back when.

A I’m not sure what’s going to happen but I’m still here regardless.

B I’ve got to ask why you said I cried.

A Bleep, you are but one of many Taurus men I know and if they do actually cry, it’ll be in the shower and they’d never admit to knowing how to cry. They might well up with tears but never cry in front of anyone ever.

B That’s fucked up.

A Taurus men do write but never about their feelings nor do they own a diary or journal. If that April born man exists who shares their feelings, they are a very rare breed of man.

B Well writing isn’t my thing.

A You sound exhausted.

B I had to compose myself and all the while I cursed your name.

A Oh it’s because I hit a nerve?

B You’re the last person I’d ever, of course, I think of to wax philosophic and then admit it to someone else let alone admit it to myself.

A Bleep, motherfucker, I’m completely aware and yet I’m not living under the delusion by pining away waiting for you to ask.

B No, it’s not that but does fall in the same zip code and then I used one word, empath. You dug as deep as you could and I’m like, fuck, man, I’m on the phone with you.

A Bleep. Bleep. I’ve known ever since your old EarthLink email and I never and I wouldn’t unless you asked. I told you before I see things that I don’t necessarily understand and with each message, I just end up seeing something.

B I gathered as much. There’s my Nou-Nou. Come up. It’s okay. Come on, Nou-Nou. Move your lard ass, Janx. There you go. All better. Rumple, not a word. You stay right there and let Nou-Nou get some.

A The kittehs!!

B Don’t distract. I’m not sure if you have a malignant will or you gave me something to think about.

A I can’t apologize more. I’m truly very sorry. I riffed on an idea and here we are.

B Life isn’t over as you think of it just because you’re alive. There’s more.

A That’s why I told you that I wouldn’t write again. Stirred the pot.

B You’re a dick.

A And your point is? A cunt? I’m The Dowager Empress and that’s all there is to that.

B You’re so full of shit.

A We’re not going to snap at each other like two terriers.

B Is this what we’ve been reduced to? Bickering just for arguments sake?

A You’re the one with the brown eyes, so you could possibly be full of shit. I’ve got green eyes, pea green with jealousy.

B You said some shit and it hit me. What’s that thing you usually say? Oh yeah, it’s a punch in the face you can’t take back.

A Bleep, dude. Most people want that moment in life where someone grabs ahold of you and pleads with you not to leave. It’s been played out in the movies, but not in our lives, right? I don’t know the life you led but I’ve had three boyfriends and each one of them dumped me. I’ve cried and played all the sad songs. You could have possibly done the same thing but let’s face it fucking Cher said it best, we all sleep alone.

B Whitney clapped back and said I’d rather be alone than be unhappy.

A True. But I had the near perfect relationship with The Beast. More than 40 years together. We both had separate lives and we were celibate lovers. We had each other’s back we did everything for love but we never did that. I knew that he wasn’t some Sir Galahad to love from afar, motherfucker was two legged boa constrictor. I’m okay with dying alone and unloved.

B That’s really a fucking bleak future. Well insert a happy go-lucky cliché here followed by Shady Pines. I can’t with you, bleep.

A I know that we’re estranged but don’t divorce me or fire me just yet.

B Okay.

-The curtain comes down and the audience breaks out in an uproar of applause and cheers-

Scene Three

E What was that we just watched?

CI wish I knew.

E 90 minutes of a conversation that never happened?

D Clearly you’ve missed the point of it. Two guys who knew each other since high school and they meet up years later. One guy had a bad break up and the other guy was now, as he said, a widower.

C Excuse me?

E Yeah excuse me. I don’t see it. Okay high school is one thing but forty years later, they’re talking like that?

D Okay let’s go for a quick pop at The Stone and we’ll go home afterwards.

E Which stone?

C I think that the closest one is Rosetta.

D No. That’s by Park Avenue. I think this one is Killarney but is it Kilkerry? Fuck. It’s right here at 8th Avenue.

C Don’t make thing of it but look over getting of that cab, Miles Silverberg.

E I know that name.

D Murphy Brown.

C It is him. Not bad looking but not my type.

D Bitch, your type is anyone who can make the letter O.

C You should talk. You’re still paying off that asbestos abatement from the last one.

D The two of you are practically virgins again, but then again Father Frank doesn’t give confessionals.

C/E Fuck you.

D Oh look, we’re here.

E I’ve always wondered exactly how many bars in Manhattan are actually Irish bars.

C Probably a few but I’m not sure. There’s only one Blarney Stone and I think it’s in Lower Manhattan not here in Midtown. I’m thinking that anything above 23rd Street is either owned by The Vara or Lyons’ Brothers.

E Damn.

D Hello, Merrick. We like a bottle of your best Shiraz and three glasses. We’ll be over here. Thank you. Yes, Merrick, yes you’re all that but put a ring on it.

E Why won’t you just fuck him and get it over with?

D We like this game. We just love to flirt with each other. No harm, no foul.

C She’s been playing with Merrick for years and he loves the attention.

E I wonder what The Times says tomorrow.

D This is the the last chapter of the trilogy. Uh…

C First was Hot Neon Lights, second was Patina on the Edge and now, It Didn’t Happen.

D I can’t get it out of my head that one scene with the mother fighting with the dad. She was so mad at him, she put out a cigarette in her hand.

C Oh fuck yeah, that was fucking brutal.

E Can someone get that mad?

D She’s his mother and momma bear wasn’t having it.

C True but I’m not sure about the pretentious names. Trenton Burroughs English and Daniel Charles Snyder. But you know what? They’re actual people. I found out that Trenton is some how many times removed from the Queen of Norway and Daniel is a surgeon with Doctors Without Borders. AND the most fucked up thing is that they don’t know each and have never met.

D You know what’s even more fucked up than? There’s an actual family here on the social register here in New York with the last name, Frankenstein. Google that.

E Thank you, Merrick. Ladies, a toast?

C Yes please and don’t be stingy.

D Miss Thing, leave some for the rest of us.

ALL 3 Cheers! Give my regards to Broadway!!

E Hot Neon Lights was excellent, though I thought the two fantasy moments were beyond me.

D Why?

E Is that what you’d expect from dropping a hit of acid?

C Not all the time. It’s different from person to person. I did it once and I had goosebumps most of the time and I saw these white penny tiles dance like waves and I was surfing.

D I went to see a midnight showing of Eraserhead in college and I hate that fucking movie. Sigh. I cringe whenever I hear, Eraserhead is dead. I wanna punch someone in the face.

E Damn and I said I was traumatized by seeing Gina Gershon’s pubic hair in Killer Joe. I’m sorry but on the silver screen in a crowded theater. I shudder to think.

C A straight guy cringing at the mound of Venus? What happened? Did you see your mother in the shower?

E It’s not that deep. My face is one thing but on a forty-foot screen? Shit was scary.

D Yeah that is unforgettable. Besides that, was the movie any good?

E I don’t know. I mean William Friedkin directed The Exorcist. Both are going to fuck with your head, period.

D Oh yeah he did but what was really fucked up was in Patina on the Edge when he told us how his father and stepmother thought that they were watching his life story on the silver screen.

C What fucked with my head with my head was when he told us that he actually went to M Street and those stairs. I saw the picture and it was daytime and the caption read, Here laid Father Merrin’s body. Regan MacNeil astro-projected his priestly self right out the window. Rest in Power, Mercedes McCambridge.

E What?

C Yeah. Gimme a second.

D You’re obsessed much?

C I couldn’t believe it myself and I took a screenshot. Look.

E Damn. That’s really fucked up. Here.

D Oh my God! That is fucked up.

C I know reality stranger than fiction.

E It wasn’t science fiction or was it tonight?

D Whatever it was, it was some great writing. He can tell a story.

C What did you get out of it?

E I’m thinking that after seeing Hot Neon Lights, Patina on the Edge and tonight’s It Didn’t Happen, I think they should have a face to face and make a decision if they’re going to be actual friends and figure out if they want to be celibate lovers and in a platonic marriage.

D Fuck that bullshit. It’s obvious that they are actually going to have a contentious relationship and they’re not going to find each other sitting together chatting it up in Shady Pines. The only thing that they can have is a hidden mutual respect for each other and the rest of us can only imagine that since neither one of them will admit to anything. He’s a whore and he’s a prude. They don’t know what they want, but can they be friends in any iteration of the meaning. We’ll never know.

C Well…unrequited love can keep you going. Okay I’ve got unrequited love too but I see mine as that song, All American Boy by Steve Grand. I just love that song and I’m obsessed with the media calling it Brokeback Breakout and he’s like the Gay Cowboy. That’s really a bad cliché but it’s even worse to know that not every fag wants to suck the quarterback’s dick. Yeah let that big man on campus get a pot belly and go bald, and at the 40th high school reunion you’re still in a size seven like me and what’s even worse is that all the girls want to kill me.

D Do let me know when old and bitter arrives.

E Oh c’mon. It can’t be all that bad. You’re supposed to live off a compliment for two weeks, but I always hope for the best. I mean I like my family and we all get along.

C Well how nice for you but I doubt it. It’s like Homer isn’t going to strangle Bart for the umpteenth time.

E Back to the other moment in Hot Neon Lights, what was up with that Diana Ross scene?

D That was explained in Patina.

C Yeah. He went to the Diana Ross Live at Caesar’s Palace show on two hits of mescaline but I think the point was like she said, I am and I’m going to be.

D Powerful.

E Didn’t he also explain how he could actually touch the guy on the flying trapeze at the circus. Apparently he likes dropping acid.

C Patina had that whole conversation about “Gee whiz. Boy I was drunk last night.”

D Yeah it was consensual but I’m not sure if they were that drunk or that high.

E I know right but he did fuck that girl after an eight ball.

C Oh yes! He was up to THANGS!!

D Indeed he was but that failed threesome was even funnier.

E Give the guy a break. I’m not sure if he wanted to fuck the husband in front of his wife or fuck the wife as the husband was going to fuck him.

C YES!! The bamboo chair hanging from the ceiling. If I was in that same situation I have no idea how to proceed.

E True, true, but I’m glad he told us from the jump, we’d never believe it actually happened. My mind hurts.

D Look gentlemen, the bottle is empty and we all have to go to work in a few hours. Let’s table this for the next time. Until then.

E Okay but it’s Romeo & Juliet with social media at The Public.

C That’s got to be something else. We’ll text after we read the review in The Times.

ALL 3 Good night, Merrick!!

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atamascolily · 4 years ago

Text

Okay, I have calmed down enough after reading Aftermath: Empire’s End that I can address the bit that really got to me.

TL;DR: the entire “Contigency” business is based on an extended chess metaphor and... I have questions.

Previously, we have learned that a Jakku orphan named Galli Rax stowed away on Palpatine’s Space Yacht so he could get away, only to be caught by Palpatine. Palps told the kid that he had two choices: die, or go back to Jakku and make sure no one stumbled across the Mysterious Thing (”the Observatory”) Palps was constructing out in the desert. Galli chooses the latter, and Palps sends him back to Jakku and Galli does his thing. Ten years later, Palps shows back up with the space yacht to compliment Galli on a job well done and take him away.

O.... kay. I’m not sure how Palps was able to ensure Rax would keep his end of the bargain. Sure, he has a supervisor Yupe Tashu and a bunch of droids, and I suppose they could have killed Galli, but... there didn’t seem to be anything stopping Galli from running away? I doubt even Palps would have bothered to stalk one kid just to prove a point, but it just seems really weird from Palpatine’s perspective to be so hands-off.

Anyway, so the first thing they do in their Big Reunion is Palps teaches him how to play chess. And I don’t just mean Thinly-Disguised Space Chess as a stand-in for the real thing, I mean actual chess.

Here’s the passage that made me start to howl and gibber from a world-building perspective:

“It’s a very old game. Shah-tezh, in this interation, thought over the eons I have seen it spawn many variants. Dejarik. Moebius. Chess. In most of the iterations the core mechanism remains.”

To be clear: this is Palpatine talking. What the hell does he mean by “over the eons I have seen”? That’s not the sort of thing you say if it’s something you know from a book or a story, that’s what you say if you’ve personally experienced it. Is Palpatine really that old?? If so, this is HUGE, absolutely earth-shattering bombshell from a world-building perspective. Is it ever followed up on? Not that I can tell.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

(To be fair, I’m not against this, per se, but I just... feel like if it was important.... it should be relevant.... and not name-dropped once and never mentioned again? Like, it matters? AAHHHHHHHHHHH.)

The other thing that made me scream, is, of course, the fact he comes right out and says it’s Chess In Space, which.... While I have used “holo-chess” as a synonym for “dejarik” in my fics, and Wookiepeedia says “holochess” is an accepted synonym for dejarik in nu!canon, this particular passage reads weirdly to me because it implies that chess as we know it on Earth is a separate but related game to dejarik, not just another name for the same game. And I... have questions about that, just like I would if “poker” suddenly appeared in the GFFA lingo along with “sabacc”.

{Also, I just want to note that the Persian word for chess is shatranj. Per the “History of Chess” article on Wikipedia:

Players started calling "Shāh!" (Persian for "King!") when attacking the opponent's king, and "Shāh Māt!" (Persian for "the king is helpless" – see checkmate) when the king was attacked and could not escape from attack. These exclamations persisted in chess as it traveled to other lands.

This isn’t the first time real-life details have migrated into Star Wars - “Tatooine” is named after a location in Tunisia, and the Lars’ farm is located in the “Great Chott” which actually exists on Earth.... but still. I’m just saying.}

And again, this is probably me being stupid and petty about Details That Don’t Matter, except that the one is actually huge from a plot and thematic perspective, so it’s hard not to get tripped up on it.

Anyway, so Palps instructs Galli in the intricacies of shah-tezh, and it all boils down to one thing: “without the Imperator, the demesne cannot survive”.

And That’s the reason why Palpatine has to personally make sure the world burns after his death, because it means that his Empire has completely failed if he dies and deserves to be punished. O.... kay then.

(Granted, Palpatine is a crazed narcissist, but... there’s like no way this makes logical sense, right? And Rax doesn’t even think “oh, that’s insane, but I have to agree to stay alive”. Even at this juncture, when he barely knows Palpatine at all, he’s completely swallowed the Kool-Aid. Which is odd because he’s very skeptical about other things.)

Anyway, Palps repeats it because it’s his guiding principle: “If an Empire cannot protect its Emperor then that Empire must be deemed a failure. It collapses not only because its central figure is gone, but because it must not be allowed to remain.”

He’s so incensed he nearly strangles Galli, but then he relents, and says Galli is “the Contigency” and if he fails, he’ll be replaced, because literally, “destiny”. Then they go watch opera, because Palps hasn’t found anyone to watch opera with him since that one time with Anakin and... Vader isn’t into that, lol.

(The problem with making opera Galli’s thing is that ALL OF THOSE SCENES ARE FLASHBACKS or referred to in passing in the narrative rather than viewed directly. So we don’t see him poised at the opera, plotting, the way Palps did in ROTS, or contemplating art like Thrawn does. So it’s easy to forget that he has this quirk. Also, it makes him feel like a Thrawn knock-off. But I do like that it’s canon that he’s just the Biggest Drama Queen ever, though.)

I’ve said this before in earlier rants, but to repeat: I do not see Palpatine as having the relative humility needed to even consider his own death seriously. in ROTJ, he acts 100% confident that he’s gonna come out the winner. So to come up with an entire elaborate plot, on the off chance that someone might off him seems just... kinda OOC?

Sure, he’s the type to have wheels within wheels and all kinds of schemes going on simultaneously, but... this one involves placing a lot of trust in Galli Rax going along with the script, and I just... don’t get why he would assume Rax would automatically go along with it, or be able to. There are just so many variables that the novel doesn’t seem to address and it’s just hard for me to imagine Palpatine doing this without making other/additional Contigencies, not just one.

Anyway, so it turns out “the Contingency” is to lure both the Imperial remnant and the New Republic fleets to Jakku and then literally blow the entire planet up to take everyone out at once, while a handful of specially chosen loyalist ride off in Palpatine’s Space Yacht for the Unknown Regions to form a new Empire. Which... okay, sure, why not. In theory, this sounds pretty cool and it involves all of Palpatine’s favor tricks, including a planet-destroying superweapon.

Where it actually breaks down is in the details, of course. And Palpatine is still dead, of course, so it does shit-all for him, except for some vindictive satisfaction while still alive, I guess.

(And if he is planning on coming back, it seems weird to burn down the house you plan on re-occupying later? I guess? *shrugs*)

Anyway, it turns out that Palpatine has a whole network of Observatories, where he does all kinds of secret, evil things:

Palpatine began establishing the Observatories before the start of the Galactic Empire, infusing each with purpose: Some were meant to house ancient Sith artificats, others designed to host powerful weapons designs (or the weapons themselves), others still meant as prisons harnessing the lifeforces of those captured within for a variety of strange purposes.

(which, given that the Ashmead’s Lock prison on Kashyyyk is powered by its inhabitants’ life force a la The Matrix, strongly suggests that it, too, is an Observatory, although the book does not say that directly and canon will probably never mention the energy-harvesting thing again despite ALL OF THE QUESTIONS THE EXISTENCE OF SUCH TECH RAISES.)

I’m okay with this passage, because it means that the Maw Installation, the Eye of Palpatine, and Wayland are all part of this system. It feels very much in-character. However, only Jakku is part of the Contigency, at least according to Galli, but--tbh, I kinda doubt it, because when have we ever known Palpatine to tell the truth? Or have Only One Plan?

Anyway, for decades, the Observatory computers have been plotting a route through hyperspace into the Unknown Regions. (I thought this was something only Jedi could do, since they were supposedly hard-core Space Navigators? Otherwise, what was even the point? *shrugs* Why do you even need a “Sith Wayfinder” anyway? *cough cough*) Then there’s an obligatory Thrawn reference, since Thrawn is canon, but Rax is pretty dismissive and says that the only reason Palps tolerated Thrawn was for his secret navigational insights into the Unknown Regions.

So if Palps loses his original demesne, he’s just gonna go conquer the Chiss or something? Except he can’t, because he’s dead, so what ever. I don’t even know, okay? Does anyone know what happened to Thrawn or the Chiss post-OT in the Disney ‘verse??

Anyway, Palps is convinced there’s something in the dark side waiting for him out there, which Galli is dismissive of. You’d think a guy who had literally been Force-choked would be more accepting of this instead of assuming it was just wishful thinking, but okay then. This is pretty clearly meant to be an obvious Snoke reference, which gets wonky with the TROS retcon that Snoke was a clone-puppet of Palpatine the entire time!

Anyway, Rax gets Yupe Tashu all geared up with Secret Evil Sith Gear and a Magic Kyber Crystal and tosses him into the planet’s core, and it starts the self-destruct process. Except it doesn’t because Rae Sloane kills Rax at the last moment, puts a stop to it, and steals the yacht full of feral children and flies off into the sunset to carry on Rax’s master plan because the New Republic destroyed the Imperial fleet while she was distracted and she apparently is tired of all this shit? Okay.

Anyway, she makes a deal with Armitage Hux that she’ll keep Brendol from abusing him if he keeps the feral kids from attacking her, and apparently it works out. This is supposed to be the origin of the First Order, and I guess they find Snoke or something, but none of the details are ever explained in any material I can find, so.... *shrugs*

I just really don’t understand how the First Order can be functional under the conditions herein described and how it logically evolves from This One Ship to a massive, disciplined force capable of wiping out the New Republic.

So I finished the book and... was kind of mad, because it just felt like a complete waste of my time. Overally, this whole thing just seems like a lot of build-up that doesn’t go anywhere, and provides weird backstory that only raises more unaddressed questions for things that really didn’t need it.

also, it’s darkly amusing to me that this book comes out saying, “yup, the ST is a literal game-board reset of the OT, and Palps fully intended for it to be that way, even though we at Disney had no plans to bring him back as a villain at first” and I just... well, props for honesty, I guess?

anyway, the whole thing is a mess from a world-building perspective, and even though Star Wars is Fake and In Space, I just get grumpy when things don’t line up, especially since that was supposed to be one of the major selling points of this new canon in the first place.

#star wars #WHY DISNEY WHY

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