#(i will not but it would be hilarious)
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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author’s notes today: hey guys so just a warning there isn’t 100% explicit verbal consent even though they’re both really into it so remember this is FICTION, also they don’t use a condom :((( but in real life safe sex is important!!! please be safe out there everyone
a/n back in the day: kept thinking about ____ stabbing knives through both of _____’s hands to pin him in place while they fucked so here you go lol =P
#i’m not saying it was better at all! i just find the contrast hilarious#no one posted stories with the belief that readers would use them as instruction manuals#kids today write author’s notes like they’re about to be sued for practicing without a license
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thinking about the expert masseuse Alfred hired for the family that is paid a small fortune annually to provide massage services and ignore so, so many things. No questions, no remarks, just quality service and an ironclad NDA that, if broken, would probably topple said masseuse’s entire family line.
Things Alfred is paying them to ignore, in no specific order:
Bruce’s spinal hardware courtesy of Bane :)
weird amounts of muscle on everyone, even the kids (despite them allegedly not working physical jobs)
scars
FRESH scars
the fact that every joint in Bruce’s body clicks when moved/manipulated at the tender age of 42
Olympic athlete level physiques
rotator cuff injuries across the whole family
scars that are definitely from bullets and/or acid splashes
old signs of what looks like torture (Bruce)
Dick’s entire left arm is basically screws and plates (he “fell really bad” once)
every single family member takes deep tissue massage with max pressure with 0 complaints
calluses
no really, the weirdest fucking calluses
#thoughts#I got a massage today and played my favorite game#where the masseuse touches my back for the first time#add to this?#recoils slightly#and asks me immediately what I do for work lmao#bruce wayne#batman#dc#batfamily#dick Grayson#robin#nightwing#red hood#Jason todd#Damian wayne#Fic ideas#actually this would be a hilarious outsider pov
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Local idiot absolutely destroys his twin brother
⚠️ Do not try this at home❗️⁉️
#I imagine Ford weighs like a stack of papers because he never fucking ate anything during his frantic search for his brother#my unhealthy habit silly old man <3 he gains weight after he finds Stanley again dw dw#Sometimes Stan remembers who Ford is- sometimes he doesn't. Depends on the time of day#but I do think it would be hilarious if Stanley's first reaction to suddenly finding himself near a seeming stranger is to FLIP him#my art#gravity falls#gravity falls au#HWINEBHABWNAJCAHOWEEATOWEUB AU#stanley pines#stan pines#stanford pines#ford pines#grunkle stan#grunkle ford#a few more silly doodles out of my system <3
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the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.
#i can't believe i'm saying this#DEADPOOL CAN GET IT#Logan I'm sobbing I understand why you lunged at him#I would too bestie#it's the sass for me folks#paint that car white as much as they painted it red my god#a deadpool thirst post? from me? more likely than you'd think#this is a branch in realities i know it#i've never had Feelings for this motherfucker until this movie#all i'm left with is anger now because WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME#camera crew could have just made it landscape but noooooo they had to do a medium shot of this son of a bitch#i'm sending an especially affectionate fuck you in ryan reynolds' direction#i love how you love deadpool#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#poolverine#deadclaws#don't get me wrong i've always adored deadpool's personality. nobody's that hilarious and not have humongous balls i mean trauma.#but i've never went 'why he kinda' until this specific shot right here#@ camera crew why the fuck did you zoom in? WHY?#for me? well it's infuriating#do it again#gif is credit to the owner#30 tags aren't enough for me to dismantle how this shot made me feel. tumblr you gotta update#damn tumblr i'm tryna feed a village here#guys just find my other post
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(looks at upcoming card releases)
I'm in danger :)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#stage in playful land#stage in playfulland#smoking#my favorite horrible crime guys are back!!!!#(my hot take is that glomas had a better story but these goobers were just SO fun)#(they should be allowed to kidnap and murder(?) at least a few dozen people. as a treat.)#man i knew there was probably going to be a fellow card and yet i still did a bad job of saving my keys#and there's this year's halloween to think about too!#normally i try to avoid leaks and spoilers but i did accidentally see some stuff and if it's real then holy SHIT#on the other hand fellow attacks by basically throwing gidel at people and i desperately need this on my team#regardless of whether or not the card is actually any good#(if they change the animation to remove gidel i am going to RIOT it needs to be either exactly the same or EVEN SILLIER)#actually it would be hilarious if their stats were terrible. just the worst. and yet...#grown man and his kid with a hammer vs a bunch of teen wizards who can shoot fire#the results may shock you#(if they do the same duos-with-the-last-release as they have been with the staff cards then i will absolutely lose it)#(please twst. it would so useless to me but SO funny)#fellow: it's showtime rollo! :)#rollo: who are you
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at this stage i think its good to say, and i direct this to all of the trans women on this site:
you are loved. you are appreciated. your presence is valued.
ppl can do all they can to invalidate you, to drag you through the grime and do their best to make you nothing. and they can fucking try.
but it won't change the fact that we care about you. i care about you. and i appreciate you taking the effort to stick around in this world, especially as things turn awful.
big ass hugs for you girls.
we're still here 💙
#trans positivity#transgender#dedicating this to u avery#prolly wont be back on this site to see but w/e#also this post would be hilarious if i got deleted after posting it
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Apparently there's a trend today of drawing terrible comics. I'm gleefully throwing my hat in. happy june all
#mlp#mlp fim#queen chrysalis#chrysalis#changeling#pony posting#my little pony#i have had this idea since pride month started lmao#i think itd be hilarious if chrysalis purposefully helped make Equestria as fruity as it is#would be funny#friendship is magic#comic#sketch
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after literal years i finally got around to downloading a pdf of the wipers times, an unsancitioned satitical british trench magazine circulated among the troops in france from 1916-1918 after the fortuitous discovery of a printing press. i have approximately five million other things i need to read so idk when i'll be able to devote much time to it, and i gotta pick up a proper copy bc it's missing at least salient no 4 vol 2. that said? i'm genuinely laughing at what i've skimmed so far
#this is like THE page everyone likes it seems but it's SO good#also the flammenwerfer one i found on wikipedia is gold. that's the only reason i know no 4 vol 2 is missing from the pdf after skimming#and 'DEAD COW FARM' CINEMA. is great#the wipers times is SO fascinating to me as a glimpse of life into the trenches without any signifigant censorship of the bitterness that's#couched in satire. it's hilarious satire but there's still bitterness there sometimes! and gallows humor! this was adored by the men on the#front but it's amazing it happened at all. SO glad it did. it's a marvel#len speaks#ww1#world war 1#world war one#the great war#1917#<- figured you guys might find this interesting considering it would be circulating during canon#history
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I so badly wish there was more of Shen Jiu,,, 😭
#tw: blood#mushyrt#svsss#scum villian self saving system#scumbag system#bingqiu#If someone gave me permission I would be willing to draw the entirely of the original intended PIDW LMFAO#OR EVEN SVSSS - BINGHE POV#I WANT BINGHE ONLY POV OF SVSSS SO BAD#IT’D BE SO SAD#BUT ALSO HILARIOUS FROM AN OUTSIDE PERSPECTIVE WITH HOW SQQ TURNS THE STORY INTO A CIRCUS
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His Angelina. They can be insufferable together.
#i think it would be hilarious if ww have a running gag with naming things Angelina#both ww slander and ww W#i hope someone will see the genius in ‘take(n) for a ride’ in vashwood context#alexxuun#trigun#vashwood#trigun fanart#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood
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really specific hangups
[ids in alt]
#in stars and time#isat#poorly drawn isat#isat siffrin#isat mirabelle#isat bonnie#isat isabeau#isat odile#isat loop#odile saying 'sorry siffrin you showed vulnerability so we have to kill you now' arose in my mind unbidden#and this comic was the result.#ended up losing the third panel and had to redraw the whole damn thing.#i think the possibility of one of the characters just laying out a perfectly timed f-bomb is hilarious to me.#it doesnt matter which one. literally any of them would be funny.
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#the terror amc#the terror#you know what would be hilarious. if i tagged all these guys.#i wont but god could you imagine#francis crozier#harry goodsir#cornelius hickey#james fitzjames#sir john franklin#see thats already too many
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Go watch Nimona, it's really good
#nimona#i had to stop the movie to make this meme#i like to think I'm funny#when i heard that line I was instantly reminded of this post#but I mean#ballister would absolutely say this#the fire burns#the fire crackles with joy#low quality shitpost#low quality memes#also I think it was hilarious that Ambrosius had beef with a kid for being Ballister's new best friend#miguel o'hara 🤝 ambrosius goldenloin: having beef with a child#memes#ballister blackheart#ambrosius goldenloin
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once long ago i had a dream where people kept pissing me off but every time i got angry they would smooch me on the forehead and it was so sweet and unexpected i just immediately forgot how was i even angry i decided to project it into Zoro and Sanji
#weeks later i was still thinking about that dream#and wishing people would smooch my forehead#one piece#one piece zoro#one piece sanji#roronoa zoro#zoro#sanji#zosan#zoro x sanji#op fanart#art#one piece fanart#digital art#the best part is that i know exacly where that dream's thought came from and its actually hilarious#bc its from a tf2 animation that had just released and i watched at that time#and that dream is the reason why i never forgot about it
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Eldritch god possesses man’s eyes, still requires use of his glasses. More at 11
#i pictured Arthur wearing glasses up til like season 2/3 bc i thought it was hilarious#and then i realized that they fall down way too many holes. Like. They would be GONE#malevolent#malevolent podcast#malevolent fanart#arthur Lester#john doe#my art
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