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aca-4 · 1 year

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You Gave Me Your Kindness - So I'm Giving It Back (MLP Fanfiction)

Summary: Something has been wrong with Fluttershy lately. Discord keeps brushing it off at first, but in the end he can’t ignore the alarming changes any longer. As he looks back on their relationship, he realizes there is only one thing left to do to save his most beloved.

A/N: I once woke up with what seemed like an amazing story concept and decided to trust my sleepy imagination. After putting it on and off for like one or two years, I finally sat down and finished it.

Not my very first time writing fanfiction, and for this fandom no less, but I’m still not used to this and highly doubt I’ll ever write something again (that I’ll publish, at least).

Again, English isn’t my native language - I have however spent many years learning it. So if I still made any mistakes, please do correct me so that I can learn even more!

Rated T Word Count: 3.464 Ship(s): Fluttercord Genres: Romance, Drama, Angst without Happy Ending Warnings: like one swear word lmao

It had all started on a warm late spring day.

Discord had visited Fluttershy for their scheduled afternoon tea. Since the weather had been so nice they’d decided to drink outside, surrounded by chirping birds and flowers in full bloom.

Fluttershy had talked about something that made her smile as she poured him another cup. He couldn’t remember what it was now because he had stopped listening.

Not in a rude way, of course - at least, he didn’t think it was rude to be so distracted by your best friend’s beauty you start zoning out. Could anyone really blame him for that?

“Discord, are you listening?“, he had eventually caught her saying.

“My apologies, I believe I have something stuck in my ears. One moment, let me just…“

To demonstrate he had pulled out a red handkerchief - which had been tied to a yellow one, which in turn had been tied to a purple one, a green one, and so on. This had continued for a short while before all of the handkerchieves were out of his head.

“There we go! Much better. Now, you were saying?“

It was a lame trick and an even lamer excuse, but Fluttershy had playfully rolled her eyes and giggled anyway.

That lovely sound had been enough for him to get his focus back on her words again. Although he was tempted to check if his chaotic magic had spontaneously created butterflies in his stomach or if that was the doing of Fluttershy’s own magic.

Either way, he couldn’t complain. Not when that strange feeling made him all soft and warm inside.

It was somewhere during their long conversations and the sun illuminating Fluttershy in an angelic glow that Discord realized he was, without a doubt, utterly and completely in love with her.

They had started dating sometime after that.

The love confession had actually been the hardest part. The usually loud and eccentric Discord somehow always found himself at a loss for words the second he wanted to tell Fluttershy how he truly felt about her.

Combined with her timidness, it could have taken them ages to ask each other out if Angel Bunny of all creatures hadn’t let the truth slip out in frustration at the two.

Everything was much easier afterwards. It had felt so right to be together like that.

No personal kingdom of entropy could ever begin to compare to the joy he had found thanks to and with Fluttershy. She had been the first to offer him her friendship, and then she’d shown him love, too.

Everything had been so blissful in their own little world, he’d grown ignorant to all the signs that reality was becoming anything but.

Pinkie Pie was the first one to notice, surprisingly enough.

She normally missed a lot of social cues, yet it was her who waved Discord over when he was out visiting Ponyville one day and whispered to him her cryptic message.

“I felt the weirdest energy shift around Fluttershy the other day. This might be a bad omen.“

Then, somehow, she managed to completely change the mood in the same breath as she casually continued with, “Or it was that spoiled milk I drank before. Made me all sick the rest of the day. You really gotta listen to those expiration dates!“

Immediately back to her usual cheerful self, she’d bounced back into Sugar Cube Corner.

Discord was left a little confused but ultimately decided to just laugh at the mare’s odd behavior. Just typical Pinkie Pie.

Must have been that odd „Pinkie Sense“ of hers, he figured. Much as he enjoyed her fun energetic company, he didn’t actually believe in her crazy nonsense. Not this time, at least. She admitted she might have just misinterpreted whatever she had felt, after all.

Looking back, he really shouldn’t have dismissed her words so easily. Especially since they involved his dearest Fluttershy.

Rarity was the next one, discreetly pulling Discord away from the group one day to give him a piece of her mind.

It had been during last year’s Hearths Warming Eve no less. Quite rude of her to judge him during the holiday celebrating ponies coming together despite their differences and finding peace, he had told her irritated.

At least that’s how he had felt then. Now he could only repeat Rarity’s words in his head over and over again.

“Listen here, I know you and Fluttershy are close - and Celestia knows how you even deserve her kindness after everything you’ve done - but I still don’t trust you. If she wants to be with you, then fine. Who am I to tell her how to live her life? But if you as much as harm a single hair on her head, I swear I will personally harness the power of the Elements of Harmony and banish your ugly patchwork behind all the way to Tartarus!“

He’d faked a sarcastic oath then, thinking the unicorn was only being melodramatic as always.

Rarity had scowled at him for that and returned to the group with a final: “I am only worried because she is a very dear friend of mine. If you truly care for her as much as you claim to do, you will not hurt her.“

Discord had watched her take a cider off the table, take one big unladylike gulp of it, and sit back down between Applejack and Fluttershy.

Now that he was replaying the uncomfortable memory in his head, Discord couldn’t deny that he’d long broken the promise he’d never made in the first place.

Despite being surrounded by the most loving friends in all of Equestria, Fluttershy had looked almost annoyed by the shared laughter of the other ponies. Out of all the blurry images in his mind’s eye, a single gray hair stood out on the pegasus.

He definitively should have known something was wrong when Applejack and Rainbow Dash tracked him down to interrogate him.

At the time, Discord didn’t understand where their sudden hatred had come from. He thought they’d actually gotten along better over the years. He never believed he’d even have this many friends, but it seems that was just the positive influence Fluttershy had on him.

So seeing them this furious at him hurt. Although not nearly as much as the accusation itself did.

“You’ve done something to Fluttershy!“, Rainbow Dash yelled, flying up to him and pointing one hoof right at his face.

“Now, we don’t know that yet for sure, Dash.“

At least Applejack seemed more civil, pulling the loud pegasus down by the tail. Despite her words, she was clearly just as upset.

“Fluttershy’s been acting mighty strange lately. Think today was the worst I’ve seen ‘er lash out in… well, ever.“

Discord already didn’t like where this was going.

„We just figured, since y’all have been together for a while now,-“

“And because you used to be a manipulative villain!“

“-ya might know what’s been going on.“

“So spill it! What are you hiding from us?“, Rainbow added impatiently before Discord could even ask them what had brought this suspicion on.

So they explained.

Apparently, during one of their group’s regular meetings, Fluttershy had seemed disinterested. Pretty unusual already, but nothing of concern yet. She often got stuck in her own head with all her worries, after all.

It wasn’t until one of the others had asked if she was feeling okay, and she’d glared and spit at them, that it became obvious something was very much not okay.

To cut a long story short, kind concern was met with harsh words, turned into tough love, but was all ultimately ignored and Fluttershy had left with her nuzzle held as high as those snobby high-society ponies from Canterlot.

“Ya got any idea what that could have been about?“ Discord ignored the accusing undertone in Applejack’s voice.

He knew they were all thinking the same thing. He just wasn’t sure how to reply to them. It’s not like he wanted Fluttershy to act like that ever again.

“So…?“, Rainbow urged him for an answer.

But his mouth only hung open uselessly.

Instead, Discord excused himself and teleported himself home so quickly and abruptly that it made even him dizzy.

He had missed the first warning, and he had certainly missed many more. He’d like to think it was because it happened so suddenly that none of them could have known what was to come. Except they did.

All of them but Discord.

But it’s not like he didn’t notice something was off at all!

After he’d moved into her cottage and saw her everyday, he truly began to see the change in her behavior for himself.

It was in the way she treated her animals; Food heedlessly spilled into bowls instead of lovingly prepared (if she didn’t forget completely and Discord had to remind her or do it in her stead.)

He’d assumed it was the stress finally getting to her. With all those animals in such a tight space, it was no wonder she looked more tired, and he couldn’t blame her for letting out her frustrations on others.

It did surprise him a little when she’d locked Angel out of her own house when the bunny (that at least half of the time didn’t deserve its name) refused to eat his dinner because the slices weren’t evenly cut, or something petty like that. He’d even laughed in mockery as the little devil was left scratching at the door.

He was more surprised when he’d looked out of the window the morning after to see Angel still waiting outside.

He had mentioned it to Fluttershy, confused that she hadn’t let him in as she normally would after giving the annoying brat a little time-out. She’d said he still had to learn his lesson if he wanted to live under her roof.

Discord had agreed with her at first, not very fond of the bunny’s picky eating habits and general rudeness, either.

He’d only grown concerned when another night came and rain began to fall. Angel had still been outside, curled up and shivering at the doorstep, when the guilt became too much and Discord let the little guy in.

As he was drying him off, Fluttershy had come into the room, looked the both of them up and down, and just turned back around with a scoff and the words „you pity him too much“ muttered under her breath.

Discord and Angel might never have seen eye to eye on things before, but in that moment, the bunny looked at him with such deep concern that Discord simply couldn’t deny Fluttershy’s worrying state any longer.

“So, the others have already talked to you, I’m assuming?“

Discord only nodded a remorseful yes.

They had done much more than that. Left him cryptic warnings, gave him a stern talking-to, even straight-up yelled some sense into him, and yet he had brushed his friends off every time.

He wasn’t all that close with the five ponies, not the way Fluttershy was, but he trusted Twilight the most. It’s why he had eventually decided to confide in her.

“I’ve noticed it, too. Much too late, I have to admit, but her outburst the other day and the way she’s been avoiding us ever since are really worrying me. Do you know when this drastic shift in behavior started?“

The fact that even Twilight Sparkle didn’t notice sooner was only slightly reassuring.

The Princess of Friendship always seemed to have her nuzzle stuck in paperwork or research for personal projects, whereas Discord was always right there, frequently visiting for an afternoon tea or whatever other excuse he came up with just to be with Fluttershy.

If anyone should have noticed right away that she wasn’t acting like herself, it should have been him.

In all honesty, he didn’t quite know when it started. So he told Twilight what the others had already said to him; including Pinkie’s odd comment from about a year ago, which suddenly didn’t seem so random anymore.

“Her Pinkie Sense… I’ve long given up on trying to understand it but it’s never been wrong even once…“, the alicorn had already started muttering to herself.

Discord was left to watch her sort through the books on the shelf behind her. Spike had been there, too, offering his help to search. Otherwise he kept himself out of the conversation.

Although, knowing him, he had probably noticed before anyone else that something was wrong. If the others hadn’t listened to him at first or he had kept it to himself for whatever reason, Discord didn’t know.

But just seeing the guilty look on the young dragon’s face now, he didn’t need to hear it to know how bad it was.

“Hey, Twi? What was with that book about balancing magic that Cadance gave you on your last birthday?“

“The Theory of Magical Balance“, she corrected while skimming over various book covers in deep concentration. „Yeah, you might be onto something.“

Twilight flew over to a different section of she shelf and pulled out the book Spike mentioned.

The contents were still rather speculative, as there weren’t many cases recorded to prove the theories. Personally, Discord never cared for any sort of magical science and laws of physics anyway, since he could defy and bend them to his will.

But just this once he looked over Twilight’s shoulder to read about the exact thing that was happening to his dear Fluttershy:

“… if such opposing magical auras were to meet, they might balance each other out; each taking a part of the other and thus intertwining. But that raises the question: What if they were imbalanced? If one such aura was too strong, or both exposed to each other for too long, the weaker one could be overtaken completely. Or, perhaps, one might give all of itself away and…“

Discord stopped reading right then and there.

He didn’t want to accept it. He never wanted from the beginning and it’s why he’d avoided acknowledging it for so long.

Twilight began to speak carefully, trying to piece together all this new information.

“I know it’s been a long time now — and I do trust you not to go back on your word to never cause harm ever again! — but you have to admit, she has been acting…“

Discordant.

She didn’t have to say it out loud for they both were thinking it.

Years ago, when Discord had initially been freed from his stone prison, he had hypnotized and tricked his former enemies into turning the complete opposite of themselves. Back then, it had been so fun to watch them like that; arguing and in disharmony.

Fluttershy had been different, though. He’d had to actively cast a spell on her in order to turn her mean-spirited.

(And even so, despite everything he’d done… it was her who had shown him the light of friendship in the end.)

But now… now, without even trying, without any intention, his chaos magic was affecting her once more.

“Are you sure this is it? Isn’t there any other explanation?“, Spike tried against all odds to hope.

“I’m not sure… I’d have to ask Celestia if she has any more books on the matter. Or, who knows, maybe it’s the same type of magic that turned Luna into Nightmare Moon centuries ago? We cannot leave out any possibilities! Spike, take a letter…“

Discord had teleported out of the castle once Twilight went fully into study-mode.  He appreciated her help, and he’d tell her so the next time he saw her, but deep down he already knew what was going on and what he needed to do to stop it.

There was only one thing he could do to help Fluttershy now. No matter how much he dreaded it.

In the dim light of the room, one might not immediately notice the gray fur on what once was a brightly pastel colored pegasus. Discord, however, can’t help but stare the truth right in the face.

“What?“, she asks, annoyance clear in the way she practically spits out the word.

This monochrome impostor is still his beloved, he needs to remind himself. It’s his fault she is like this to begin with, so he has to make it right again.

“We need to talk“, Discord finally brings himself to say.

“Sure, whatever. But it better not be about those Celestia-damned ‘friends’ of yours. I’m not apologizing to those—“

„It’s not about that“, he cuts her off before she can finish the insult. He knows she doesn’t mean it. Not her true self, anyway.

“What is it then?“

She starts getting impatient. Her hoof taps against the floor, wordlessly telling him to go on already. He isn’t sure if he can.

“It’s about us“, he says quietly. He feels small, all of a sudden, wringing his paw and claw together and looking meek. Shy, even.

(He’d laugh at the irony, but she’s giving him that disinterested look again.)

“So?“

“I think it would be best if… we broke up.“

A heavy silence lies between them. He forces himself to not look away.

Slowly, Fluttershy’s emotions change. She raises her eyebrows, opens her eyes wide. She looks at him, through him, to the floor, to the wall. Then she snaps her head back, turns up her nose and glares at him with the same intensity she normally uses for her infamous ‚Stare’.

“What?“

Her words cut through the air and through him.

“We can’t go on like this“, he admits. „This close exposure to my magic — to me — has turned you evil. This isn’t you.“

“I’m fine!“, she huffs and stomps her hoof for emphasis. It only proofs his point further.

“I never meant to do this to you. I can’t control it. And now look what it’s… what I’ve done to you.“

For the first time in his life, Discord is painfully aware of just how much influence he really has on the world around him. How easily he could affect those close to him.

He is the only one to blame here, he is now certain. It’s all his fault for not stopping this sooner, for so selfishly wanting Fluttershy to be his, that he let her become a twisted and malicious version of herself.

“What kind of bullshit reason is that?!“ Cursing sounded so wrong coming out of her mouth. “You know, if you don’t love me anymore, you could have just said so!“

“I do love you. That’s why I have to do this.“

Fluttershy looks at him like he’d done the opposite of growing two heads. She probably isn’t used to him being this calm and reasonable. It’s like they switched places.

“Are you fff— ha! Are you serious right now?“, she half laughs in utter disbelief.

“I wish I wasn’t.“

Fluttershy makes a few faces as she wildly looks around the room again. She then settles on one emotion she’s grown way too accustomed to the past year.

“Fine! See if I care!“, she yells. “I never liked you anyway!“

She is lying through her teeth now and he knows it.

“I really wish it didn’t have to be like this.“ — She ignores him. — “Please know that I’m doing this for your own good.“

“Whatever. Just go.“

She refuses to look at him while Discord isn’t sure if he can bring himself to ever take his eyes off her. No matter her current state, somewhere in there is still the sweet, gentle Fluttershy he fell in love with.

Despite all her anger and harsh shouts that he should leave already, tears are forming in Fluttershy’s eyes. He wants to reach out and dry them, tell her everything was going to be okay and that he’d stay here with her forever. But he knows he can’t.

The damage had already been done and the only thing he can do now is return the kindness she had given him all those years ago.

So with a strained smile he says „Goodbye, my dearest. Thank you for everything.“

“Don’t you— Don’t you dare say that! You don’t get… get to say something like that!“

Discord has to tune out her cries as he opens the door and steps outside. He allows himself to look back at her only once, only briefly, to see her let her wings drop to the floor, ugly tears streaming down rosy cheeks.

Among the ashen gray hair is a single pink strand, encouraging him to close the door and open up a portal to his old home.

Only once he is back inside the cold walls with forgotten furniture floating past his head upside down, does he let himself cry, too.

––––

MLP:FiM and its characters belong to Hasbro

I only own the artwork and (I still can’t believe I’m saying this) the story

#mlp fim #story + art #fluttercord #fanfiction #on the rarest of occasions that i write and it ends up being angst #canon-divergent i guess #as in i tried to reference canon from memory but gave up #vague headcanons never to be seen again #weird tenses that hopefully make sense #trying to sound smart with that fake book excerpt lol #listen i was half asleep when i came up with this-#this is why i'm an artist not an author #no beta because who the hell would i even ask

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