#(i need you to know that every 10 minutes i excitedly got my long suffering partners attention | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bokutoslittlebird · 4 years ago

Text

In Your Eyes

Bokuto Kōtarō x Chubby!Reader

Author’s Note : There are some dark things in here and if you feel suicidal please do not keep it bottled in. It’s not healthy and needs to be addressed. The really bad stuff isn’t until the middle (right before the smut, basically), so be warned! That’s where the suicidal stuff is and like I said, if you do any of this or feel suicidal please seek professional help because it’s not worth keeping unhealthy feelings inside ; If you are wondering why Bokuto’s obsessed with licking and biting in this, I have been rereading a doujin where Bokuto does that and, well, it’s hot ; I swear this would not have taken me so long if I didn’t keep crying while writing it omg I would be dead if I had a shot every time I had to stop writing so I could wipe my tears and snot. This is why I don’t like to read or write angst but wow was that therapeutic.

Warnings: angst, fat shaming, use of the word “pig”, body dysmorphia (inability to look in a mirror), vomit, suicidal tendencies/intention (via overdose) + implied past actions alcohol, soft!dom Bokuto, choking, creampie(s), mating press+doggy style, licking and biting, facesitting

The cheers of the crowd erupted as the whistle blew. Once again, the MSBY Black Jackals had won. This match was against the Red Falcons, another team in the V.1 division. It was a close call, but Hinata managed to break the deuce with his monstrous quick attack and seal the set with their victory.

The team was jumping and bouncing, giving out high fives as they did. Of course, they had to shake hands with the Adlers, bowing to the audience and thanking them for their support. When Bokuto did his classic ‘Bokuto Beam’ move towards the audience, you could hear the girls squealing and giggling. It isn’t like they didn’t do the same when Atsumu or Hinata waved to them, but it hit you different. After all, they were beautiful in your eyes, slim and flawless.

Oh, yes. You’re the MSBY Black Jackal’s manager, being a classmate of Hinata in his second and third year (as in you tutored him and helped manage the volleyball club with Yachi). Hinata was your first friend, which kind of sounds pathetic. It was, if you were being honest with yourself. Being heavier than the average girl at your school subjected you to bullying and pranks that ended with you crying until you threw up. Hinata never made you feel like that, though. He always made sure you were comfortable and every member of the club at Karasuno treated you like an angel. You ended up applying to be the MSBY manager when Hinata asked, saying they needed a manager and wondered if you could apply. Well, it was either that or finding a job at the circus, as your family would sneer at you. Truly, Hinata was the first to accept you.

Once you got the job, it was like being back at Karasuno, honestly. Everyone was friendly and treated you no differently than they would treat others. However, you wished one of them would treat you differently.

Bokuto.

He was the ace of the team, a goofy fella that could make anyone smile. Including you. Aside from Hinata, he made you feel accepted and made you forget about any woes and horrid thoughts you were facing. He didn’t know about them like Hinata did, but you were sure he’d treat you different if he knew.

Once everything was packed up, you and the coach headed out, the team not too far behind you.

“Shōyō-kun, that was one of yer best sets yet!” Atsumu cheerily piped up, walking behind Hinata. Hinata was right beside you, as he always was.

“I’m glad you think so! I don’t know if we can surprise the Adlers next time, though. Kageyama still knows my tricks,” he huffed as he finished his statement, putting his hair down so he could mock Kageyama. You giggled at his antics.

“Alright, change up and meet at the bus in 10 minutes, let’s go!” Coach commanded. Each member voiced their acquiescence. You decided to use this opportunity to go to the bathroom. After all, their match lasted almost an hour, if not more.

In the restrooms, you were almost done when you heard a bunch of girls giggling as they entered. Instead of leaving, you stayed in place, waiting for them to go.

You wish you hadn’t.

“Gosh, those boys are so attractive!” One of them said. Two voices agreed.

“Have you seen Atsumu and Kageyama? They’re both so hot!”

“I was too focused on that number 12,” oh no, “Bokuto, I think? He’s a good looking man, bet he has the stamina of a god, too,”

“Yeah, it’s a shame their brand is ruined by that mascot of theirs.” What?

“Mascot? Oh! You mean the pig? Yeah, she does put a damper on everything, doesn’t she? Imagine being that attractive and having that thing follow you around!” The girl cackled, her friends following suit. You felt your stomach drop, tears springing in the corner of your eyes as you listened to them.

It was easy to forget you were different when you with the team since they made you feel normal, but that didn’t mean others wouldn’t notice you.

The girls eventually left, the door slamming shut behind them. Whether they came in there to do makeup or just talk shit about you knowing you were in there didn’t matter. Not when you were crumpled up on the floor as sobs wracked your frame. Life sucks.

It’s not like you didn’t try! That’s the other thing! You try to lose weight and nothing happens, exercising doesn’t do much and diets are practically useless. You used to go to the gym, but stopped when you kept getting stares. You also used to run with Hinata in the mornings, but since he was so much faster than you, you stopped. What’s the point if you’re panting and breathless after a minute while he’s still going strong after 30 minutes? It felt like nothing would ever help.

A buzzing interrupted your crying fest, you sniffling as you wipe away the tears and look at the screen. It’s from the groupchat, Hinata asking if you’re okay and they were all at the bus. You typed back a quick ‘K’ and got up. The best you could hope for was nobody would point out the red eyes and the sniffling.

Hinata knew of your troubles, being there for you when you broke down in school more often than not. When you confided that he was the first person you felt comfortable with, it broke him. Seeing you had bottled up your emotions because nobody bothered to listen or care, it made him want to include you in his life. He would invite you over for dinner and his sister would excitedly talk to you, never making you feel uncomfortable. When he heard that you were in Osaka, he immediately called you up about being the MSBY manager.

He also knew of your crush on Bokuto. It was obvious to him, with how you looked at the ace with longing. Hinata even encouraged you to confess, but that was quickly dismissed when you told Hinata how you felt like Bokuto deserved better than someone like you. Bokuto was muscular, attractive, and charming — in your eyes, he deserved to be with someone his equal. That did not mean you. Hinata knew of your troubles, but he also knew of Bokuto’s. Bokuto has a crush on you, too, finding himself more accepted with you around. Contrary to the ace’s personality, he was insecure in a lot of things. He wasn’t very smart, which was often pointed out by others. He knew when someone was upset, though, so he always knew he needed to make you feel better.

Once you arrived at the bus, Hinata greeted you as everyone else had boarded. “What’s wrong?”

“The same old thing, you know,” you sniffle, your voice cracking as you remember the hateful words. Hinata’s face soured as you said those words. Back in high school, he would sit down and cry with you. Now, he was tired of you still being picked on as an adult.

“Immature, that’s what they are. Come on, we’re gonna stop by that restaurant you love.” Oh great, food. You may have been starving when the match ended, but after the incident, you just wanted to go home and cry. You numbly nodded and followed Hinata onto the bus. The coach didn’t bother pointing out anything, but he sent you a sad look when he noticed the red eyes on you. You sadly smiled and continued to your seat, behind the coach as the bus started to move. Curling into your jacket, you tried to think of something else.

The restaurant was a disaster. Everyone had been excited and gotten off the bus when a bunch of fangirls came up to them. You had just smiled and shook your head, feeling better already. At least, you had been until the girls noticed you and gave you looks of disgust. It was short lived, their attention turning back to the boys, so you briskly walked off, into the restaurant, away from the crowd. It took almost 5 minutes for the girls to leave, but you refused to eat anything other than a salad and drink water. Even then, you excused yourself to the restroom to take a break, crying and attempting to force yourself to throw up. Once home, you locked the front door and let your emotions spill out. Crying and screaming was common, so that’s what you did. Then came the process — getting rid of any reflective surface. Turning off the lights, turning on the tv, covering the mirrors with sheets, closing the blinds, shutting out any possibility of looking at yourself. Even with nobody around, those words and looks stuck and struck deep, you eventually curling into yourself on your bed as you cried yourself to sleep.

The next day came, your alarm ringing and the sound bouncing off the walls. You turned it off, completely turning off your phone. Instead of dealing with alarms and people, you’d suffer alone behind the comfort of your home.

The team was worried, you were never late. Bokuto was more pouty than normal, your cheerful greeting missing from his morning and his bear hug. Atsumu also missed your cheerful greeting, asking Hinata if he knew of anything. When Hinata said he did not, he texted and called you, receiving no answer.

Okay, then he’d go to you.

Hinata had stayed at your apartment before, spending the night or just to hang out. Sometimes he brings you food and snacks when you need it, or he just checks on you. He has a spare key in case of anything and he’s glad he does when the door’s locked with no answer. He calls you once more time, knocking until he hears something. It’s faint, but it sounds like movement. So, you’re awake. But not answering the door. Sighing, he unlocks the door.

The apartment is not surprising to him, the windows covered and reflective surfaces covered. He was afraid of this, but he continues on. When he reaches your room, he hears more sniffling and crying. “[Y/N]?”

“Leave me be, Shōyō,”

“[Y/N], please. The team misses you,”

“Fuck off. I’m a charity case to them, I know it. Why else would they keep me around? I should just wallow away,” your voice sounds tired, the thought of the boys sticking with you out of pity a common thought you’ve had.

A thought that isn’t true, but breaks Hinata’s heart. “You know that’s not true. Everyone loves you! Even Bokuto,”

“Shōyō, shut up. Empty words do nothing. Maybe it’d be better if I just... stayed here. Maybe I should just end the misery,”

“Do not. Talk like that. Please.” Hinata’s voice cracks with each word. He knew you were bad, but you could pretend like everything was fine. He should’ve known the harsh treatment yesterday would affect you like this. He should’ve spent the night with you when you ordered a salad and a water. He should’ve told the coach or Meian when you went to the bathroom for 10 minutes that you were trying to throw up. Your lie of there being a line was obvious, a common excuse after a long time away. Hinata felt his chest tighten as he realized you didn’t answer him. “I’m getting Bokuto.”

“Shōyō! Don’t you dare!” Your screams do nothing as he basically runs out your apartment, you flinging the door open to see him gone. You start crying more, afraid that Bokuto will see just how pathetic you are. If he ever looked at you with disgust, the way everyone else does, you don’t know if you could continue on with your life.

Maybe it’d be better that way.

Bokuto doesn’t really know what’s going on, one moment he’s stretching and the next he’s running to the train station with Hinata’s words repeating over and over again.

‘[Y/N] needs you’

Bokuto’s first thought immediately went into the gutters, a blush coating his cheeks until Hinata continued.

‘I think she’s in trouble’

With those two sentences, Bokuto ran off, forgetting his bag and just taking his phone with him. He only needed his phone, really. Strange stares from the public didn’t bother him, he knows he’s still wearing his practice clothes and his knee pads, the material looking like leggings. He made it to the train station before it left, getting on and calling Hinata back.

“Bokuto?”

“I’m on the train, is everything okay?” He was panting, the train station being a bit away from the practice gym. He didn’t even bother sitting, just standing beside the doors.

“I don’t know. She’s.. She’s in a bad place. She won’t listen to me, but she’ll listen to you,” Hinata’s words are slightly muffled, sniffling accompanying his sentence. The words make Bokuto’s chest tighten.

“I don’t know what I can do, you’re her best friend. What could I do?”

“She’s in love with you. Has been for a while, actually. I know you can help her where I can’t. Just — I’ll give you her apartment key when you get to the station. Once I do, please go to her. Please,”

“I—“ Bokuto’s eyes are wide, his face definitely pink now. He’s still worried about you, but the idea of you actually liking him — no, loving him the same way he loves you, it makes him giddy. It gives him the push he needs to make it to you.

As soon as the doors open, there’s Hinata, holding a key ring for him to take. Bokuto doesn’t hesitate, a quick nod in Hinata’s direction before he rushes off to your apartment complex. All of the boys have been to your apartment before, but Bokuto and Hinata are the only ones who know the way to the place. Bokuto has gotten a bit drunk before and ended up crashing at your place, as well as just staying there when practices run late since his place is the farthest away from their practice gym.

Arriving at the apartment, he slides the key in and turns the knob, momentarily confused at the sheets covering your glass coffee table and the TV, but he continues in. He knocks on your bedroom door. “[Y/N]? Are you in here?” When he gets no response, he freaks out. Turning the knob, he notices you’re not in there, but there are more sheets covering things, as well as the blinds being shut. Even more confused, he turns back to the hallway and notices the bathroom door is closed. Fear strikes him as he thinks he knows why you’re not answering — he hopes he’s wrong.

When he opens the door, he realizes he was partially right. With a bottle of wine pressed to your lips, an empty pill bottle in one hand, your eyes wide as Bokuto’s golden eyes met yours. A brief moment of anger flashed across his face before you were forced over the toilet, his thick fingers going down your throat.

“Shtap!” Your muffled voice comes out, gagging around his fingers as he attempts to activate your gag reflex. He doesn’t stop, your squirming easily quelled against his strong grip on your arms pinning them back. You feel the bile rise and then you’re expelling the contents of your stomach into the toilet, coughing and sputtering as the painkillers you just took are now emptied into the porcelain bowl. Bokuto doesn’t let go of you as you cry, trying to get out of his hold.

He doesn’t know what he should bring up first, the fact Hinata called him over or the fact he caught you in the middle of a suicide attempt. You’re screaming and telling him to get off of you, but he instead holds you closer, your sobs fading as tears spill out of his own eyes, staining the hoodie you’re in. “Why would you do that?” He whispers.

You don’t know how to respond to that, instead choosing the phrase, “why not?” His face scrunches up and you don’t know if he’s in pain or angry as he shakes you.

“Why would you do that?! Don’t you know how many people would be distraught over you? Hinata would be inconsolable! Who would TsumTsum and I joke with? Did you even think about that? Did you think about me?” His voice is loud and it makes you cry harder, the weight of his words hitting deep. Bokuto’s been there for you through a lot and you’ve been facing all your problems on your own. “You can’t just do that! That’s selfish!”

“Why would it matter, Bo? What’s the point? I can’t face myself let alone face my feelings! Why not just stop hurting?” You’re both crying, him holding onto you tightly as you dry heave a bit, a stinging in the back of your throat and an arrow in your heart.

“Why can’t you face your feelings? You have Hinata and me!” Before you can tell him something else, he presses his lips to your forehead. You freeze. “I don’t know what I’d do if you left me. I don’t think I could live without you,” He dryly chuckles, tears still streaking down his face. You hiccup and look down, afraid to face him.

“You don’t mean that. You’re trying to make me feel better, I know. Just be honest with your feelings. I’m already low enough, no reason to keep up appearances,” more tears come out as you try to not break into another fit. Bokuto would never look at you the same you looked at him, especially not after seeing you like this. You couldn’t blame him, you look like a mess in your old sweatpants and the old hoodie that felt too tight even if it was one of the largest sizes you could find. Your hair is no better, hasn’t been brushed and you’ve been in bed for a while.

“Hinata said you loved me—“

“Stop,”

“So I came because he said he was worried—“

“You don’t need to say it,”

“If I had been a second later—“

“Stop it, please,”

“I wouldn’t have been able to tell you my feelings—“

“Please, don’t,” you cover your face, tears blurring your vision anyways. Bokuto removes your hands, looking into your eyes. His own are full of warmth and love, not disgust or regret. It makes you cry more, a horrible wail as you dive into his chest. He laughs as his arms wrap around you, comforting in these dark moments.

“I love you, you know? I have for a while,”

“Why? What do you see in me? What could I possibly have to attract you? I’m not—“

“Don’t say it. Don’t say ‘I’m not like other girls’, because everyone’s different. You make me want to be a better man, you make me excited for each new day. Nobody can compare to you,”

“I can’t.. I’m sorry, I can’t trust you. I’ve— I’ve been made fun of for too long, I want to trust you, I want to love you, I want to be with you, but I don’t know if my heart can take another one,”

“Another— what?”

“It’s a long story, I don’t want to bore you,”

“Baby, I’m not going anywhere,” he nuzzles your cheek, more tears spilling out as your chest tightens with love.

You decided to explain to him what happened in the past and how you trusted Hinata. Bokuto brought you to your room and made you some tea, brought a bottle of water, and also made you a snack. The thought of eating made you feel sick, but a pouty buff man had you slowly nibbling on the piece of toast. You hadn’t eaten since dinner the previous day, so you wanted to inhale it, but you didn’t think you could stomach it.

After explaining everything to Bokuto, you tried to laugh it off, saying it wasn’t a big deal, but he refused to accept that. A quick call to Hinata to let him know you were okay and that Bokuto would be taking a day off was the next step, letting Bokuto stay with you for the rest of the day. He didn’t want to leave you alone, the fear of almost losing you still making his heart race in a bad way. Even as you just scrolled through InstaGram on your phone, he worried if he left you’d go back to the dark headspace. He couldn’t stop it, but he figured he could prevent it.

The first thing to change your mood is get you in the shower.

When he bounced back into your room, you looked at him from your position. You looked exhausted, the toast only half eaten but the glass was empty. Bokuto shook his head and clicked his tongue. “You need to refresh yourself. Time to take a shower!”

“What are you, my dad? If you want me to do it then make me,” You muttered, snuggling back under the covers. Bokuto closed his eyes and sighed, trying to not say anything sexual.

“I will throw you over my shoulder and into the bathroom. Don’t underestimate me, [Y/N],” the bed dips as he sits on the edge. “I’ll strip you down and wash you if I have to,”

“Why are you so forceful? Damn,” you made it sound like a bad thing, but you were smiling. “Fine, I’ll shower. You don’t gotta wash me, I’m not a baby,”

“But you’re my baby?” He sounded so confused, you freezing half out of the bed. Clearing your throat, you continued.

“Uh, sure. Are you planning on leaving soon? Or..”

“Nope! I’m staying over. I’ll change the sheets while you shower, too!”

“Oh, okay,” you say, numbly getting up to get clothes. With the lack of clean clothes, you have a few shirts and some pajama pants, but your stomach twists as you realize why they’re clean. They don’t fit as nicely as the other clothes, so you face two options: reuse the hoodie you’re wearing or face the humiliation of putting on a tight shirt. Thinking of the restriction, you decide the hoodie would be best. A large pair of pajama pants and a pair of panties is all you take, but Bokuto notices the lack of clothes.

“Are you just changing your pants? You’re showering, right?” Hes rifling through his bag, planning on changing out his practice clothes while you’re in the shower. He doesn’t want to get your clean sheets dirty, after all.

“Um, I’m out of shirts, so.. I’ll just reuse the hoodie,” you shrug, not seeing a problem. His eyes light up as he holds a finger up, digging through his bag once more. Apparently, Hinata dropped it off while you were taking a nap, all that crying had exhausted you. Bokuto smiles brightly as he pulls out his own hoodie, the black hoodie with the golden MSBY brand and the Black Jackal claws. “I don’t think—“

“I’ve been dreaming of you in my hoodie for some time, so this is a perfect opportunity! I’d prefer you to wear this,”

“Uh, I’m pretty big, Bokuto. I don’t think it’ll fit, if I’m being honest,” you look down at the ground, the disgust from earlier rising in your chest. Bokuto just tilts his head to the side.

“I think it’ll fit. It’s pretty big on me, so it’ll fit. If it doesn’t, let me know. I’ll get you something else,” he just shrugs, holding out the hoodie. His name is on the back and in a way, it feels like he’s marking his territory. You take it, thanking him as you head towards the bathroom. If it didn’t fit, you didn’t know what you’d do.

When you finished washing up, you put on the clothes. As big as Bokuto was, you still didn’t expect the hoodie to fit. When it slid on easily, you were highly surprised, but also it took you a moment to collect yourself. Seeing you in his hoodie was something out of your wildest dreams, him even telling you he’s fantasized about it making your body hotter than it should be. You had to calm yourself down before exiting the bathroom, entering the bedroom to see him lying on the bed in sweatpants. That’s it.

“Where the hell are your clothes?!” You cover your face, spreading your fingers a bit to see him stand up excitedly.

“You look so good in my hoodie!” He hugged you tightly, lifting you up a bit.

“Don’t pick me up, put on a shirt!” The only thing separating your skin from his was the hoodie which, well, wasn’t very thick. The zipper itself was as high as it could go but still felt too low.

“Why? Don’t I look good? Are you uncomfortable?”

“Yes, you look good and I’m uncomfortable. This is just a weird situation,” you try to explain... as if you had a shred of dignity left. The laptop propped open with the opening of your favorite movie caught your attention. “Are you gonna watch a movie?”

“We’re gonna watch it! To make you feel better, of course!” He seemed so proud of himself, standing with his fists on his hips as he smiled. You shook your head, rolling your eyes.

“Okay, then. Do you want snacks?”

“Snacks?!”

After getting snacks for the movie, to which he fed you some while you fed him, you ended up falling asleep as you watched the movie. It was nice and warm under the covers and Bokuto’s body heat right next to you helped to lull you to sleep. He didn’t seem to notice you falling asleep until your head hit his shoulder, eyes closed as you peacefully slept. After pressing a kiss to your forehead, he closed to laptop and got comfortable under the sheets. The worry of him losing you was still there, but he kept his arms around you tightly in case it was a dream. Like you, he hoped it wasn’t.

Waking up wasn’t that bad, an urge to quench your dry throat a common thing to wake up to. What wasn’t common, however, was the thing poking your butt. Now fully awake, you tried to shoot up in bed to see what was going on but Bokuto’s arms held you down. It was then you realized what was poking you. Attempting to get his arms off of you was a hard feat, trying to squeeze out of the grip when he moaned. You froze and looked at his face, still asleep. Attempting to move again, he let out another one. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out.

He was having a wet dream. In your bed. Beside you.

Your immediate thought was who? Your next thought was me? You dismissed that idea, rolling your eyes as if that could happen. Well, until your name came past his lips. You were surprised to hear it, even if he showed and attempted to prove his feelings for you. Him dreaming of you subconsciously? It gave you confidence.

Enough confidence to wake him up and let him continue his dream in reality? No.

But, you didn’t think you’d have another dark episode anytime soon. He didn’t seem to relent his grip on your body, so you dealt with it, staring at the wall in the dark as he continued his noises. Well, at least until he bucked his hips. You gasped as he did, him waking up to your noise. “You ‘kay? Somethin’ wrong?”

Wide eyes looked at him, before glancing down and flickering back up. He follows your eyes and his face goes red. It’s hard to tell in the dark, but the moonlight coming in from the uncovered window illuminates enough. “I am so sorry, I’ll le—“

“Why?” You can’t stop yourself from asking, immediately smacking your forehead. He’s a bit confused from your actions, but you continue. “Um, I’d, uh- I’d like to know what you dreaming about.” Confidence? Yeah, right. You’re practically shaking from the fear of his answer. Of course, it was your name but you could’ve heard wrong, right? Yeah, you—

“My boner speaks for itself, doesn’t it?” Does he have shame? You just look at him so exasperated as he just stares at you, not too sure what you were expecting. “Or do you not know?”

“I— Okay. Was it me?”

“Who... who else would it be?”

“Oh, okay. Why?” You’re both so confused, you not understanding the appeal while he’s not understanding why it’s so weird. Or confusing.

“Why not? I’m in the bed with my girlfriend, longtime crush, who I find extremely attractive? Is this too much? Is it wrong for me to, um, wanna do that? Or dream about it?” No shame!

“I’m still having problems seeing things from your perspective, but okay. Still cannot see the appealing side of me, so it’s just... it’s weird for me to actually realize you like that. You actually,” you gulp, “like me,”

“I’ll say it as many times as I need to, [Y/N]. You’re perfect in my eyes. I want you to see that in your eyes, too,”

“I cannot, if ever, do that. Sorry,” you just shrug, going back to lay down. It isn’t long until he’s straddling you. “What are you doing?”

“I want to make you see things how I do. You gave me this,” he gestured to the bulge in his sweatpants. Looking at it too long scares you, the size scaring you more. “I want you,”

“Oh my god, I’m being dead serious now: you are not gonna like what you see. I’m not attractive, Bo,”

“Let me be the judge of that, hm?” It’s the only thing he says, but you hesitantly nod. He smiles and as much as you want to enjoy it, you’re still shaking. You have no idea what’s coming next, you don’t know what he’s gonna do once he sees what’s underneath and it scares you. So badly. His hands go underneath your—his hoodie, running over your skin. “If you’re scared, I can stop. I don’t want to push you into anything,”

“It’s not that, I just can’t see what you see. But I want to. I want to see myself in your eyes, if you can do that,”

“All you gotta do is give me a signal if you want me to stop. I’ll try my best but you’re gonna have to relax, baby,” he has no idea what his words are doing to you. You just nod as he smiles, leaning down to kiss your forehead. He isn’t rough and excited, but rather gentle and soothing. Hands running under the hoodie eventually go up to the zipper, slowly pulling it down. It’s a small thing, but you notice his eyes flickering to your face for any sign of distress. Evening your breathing, you let him completely pull the zipper down as your skin is completely bare to him. You hide your face in shame, ready to apologize and have a million excuses lined up, but he doesn’t let that happen when he starts licking your chest.

“Oh!” Your hands thread through his hair, softer than you expected as it barely brushes against your skin. His eyes are still on you, your fingers moving his strands away so he could clearly see you and you, him. The way his predatory gaze latches onto your face has heat pooling between your legs, rubbing them together to create some kind of friction. Keeping his tongue connected to your skin, his eyes on yours, he moves onto one of your breasts. Popping your nipple into his mouth, he swirls the perked nipple in his mouth as his hand tweaks your other nipple. You’re panting, your head is thrown back as he continues. Soon enough, just rolling your nipples in between his fingers is not enough.

Gathering spit in his mouth, he lets it dribble onto your skin. It’s warm and slick, when he smears it across your other breast as goes back to tweaking your nipples. You look down at what he’s doing only to find him grinning devilishly at you. He then goes down to your stomach, biting into the flesh there. “Bokuto!”

“What? I just wanna taste you,” he shrugs, before licking the area he bit. He has a lot of spit, too, sucking into your flesh and leaving behind a bite mark and his saliva. It’s.. kind of gross, but hot. When he comes back up to your face, he pushes his lips against yours so forcefully that you’re reeling back, mouth opening as he slips his tongue in. It’s a deep, passionate kiss as he runs his hands over your body, squeezing anything he can as he slips his fingers into your pants. “May I?”

“Of course.” Once he has the okay, he moves back down, occasionally leaving love bites as he does. Pulling down your pants, he finds himself face to face with your damp panties. You don’t have time to get embarrassed, however, when he sticks his nose into your crotch and licks the fabric. “What is up with you and licking?” You giggle, finding humor in it. He just pops back up, shrugging. You giggle again, throwing your head back in the pillows. He goes to pull down your panties, sliding them down your legs until they’re completely off. Except for his hoodie, you’re completely naked.

Now if only you could have his cum in you, then would his wet dream be complete. However, there was one more thing he’s always wanted to try, but he’s worried you’ll be against it. “Babe?”

“Is something wrong?”

“No! No! Nothing’s wrong!” He hates how your mind immediately goes negative. Your shoulders relax and your wide eyes slowly lessen as you realize nothing wrong, yet. “Um, can you sit on my face?”

“Bokuto, I don’t-“

“C’mon, please? I’ve always wanted to try it! Especially between them delicious thick thighs of yours,” he then licked his lips with a resounding moan. Although embarrassed, you roll your eyes.

“If I’m too heavy, let me know. I’ll— I’ll get off,” you prop yourself up on your hands, feeling his spit ooze down your body. “You have a lot of spit. Reminds me of how much you sweat,”

“I produce a lot of liquids, y’know?” If it wasn’t for his wiggling eyebrows as he widely grins, you would not know he meant it to be sexual.

“Lay down!”

“Yes, ma’am,” he excitedly gets on his back, his bulge much more prominent than before now that it’s just there. You can see it. You’re still hesitant, but eventually move to straddle his face. He helps you, easily maneuvering your dripping cunt over his mouth. With his strong hands, he forces you down on top of him to the point where your legs can’t keep you up. You attempt to get up, afraid you’re crushing him but he keeps you firmly planted on his face.

A growl erupts from his throat when he gets tired of your squirming, you halting your movements as you try to calm down. His thumbs run over the skin of your thighs to try and soothe you. And it works. You’re feeling lightheaded as he sucks and licks your cunt and probably makes it messier than it is. He brushes his teeth over your clit, sending shivers down your spine as you moan from the feeling. With a grin, you can tell, he gets to work on tongue fucking you as well as sucking on your clit. It isn’t long until your fingernails are digging into his abdomen as you let out a high moan as you come undone on his face. He moans himself, using his thick tongue to gather up every ounce you produced. He also makes a loud slurping noise as he cleans it up.

You move off of him, panting as you look at him. He looks absolutely blissed out, like he saw Nirvana and Heaven all at once. You smile at him, his own smile wide and proud. He immediately gets up, pushing hips lips against yours once more as he licks the corners of your mouth. He is quickly moving to pull down his sweatpants and boxers, but hesitates. “You sure you want this?”

“You aren’t allowed to stop now,” you giggle as he glows, pulling down his pants. Your eyes go wide as you realize how big he actually is. The bulge in his pants was nothing. It is scary, you wondering if it’ll fit.

“Everything okay? Do you— Do you not want it?” He sounds so sad, you immediately coo at him, forgetting the third leg he has.

“No, no, no baby! It’s just— you’re very big. I did not expect that. Just be gentle, yeah?”

“Of course!” Another kiss to your lips, this one more of a peck than a passionate open mouthed kiss. “Can you get on your hands and knees?” You listen to him, rolling over on your stomach before getting in position. This way, you don’t have to worry about seeing him and can focus on what he’s doing, so it’s better in a way. Really, Bokuto just wants to end the night with you on your back and he plans on having you shaking from multiple orgasms before it’s over. He guides his cock to your entrance, a shaky breath leave him as his tip brushes against your folds. You shiver yourself, feeling yourself about to cry, but you wait.

Once he pushes into you, the tears come out for a different reason. “I’m sorry, it’ll feel better in a moment,” he licks your cheek, nuzzling you. You nod as you try to relax, him continuing to push into you. It isn’t until he nudged against your cervix does he stop. Even then, he is still not completely in you. He focuses on evening his breathing, inhaling your shampooed hair. It’s hard to not blow his load so quickly, you squeezing him so tightly. You’re nice and snug, though, your walls eventually relaxing as he stays inside.

“You can— you can move, Bo,”

“Fuck yeah,” he grunts, pulling out only to roughly thrust into you. You lurch forward from the thrust, immediately dropping your mouth open to moan as he sets a steady pace. It’s not fast or slow, but he’s definitely rough with his thrusts. It’s the grunts that really do you in, the way his hands grab at your ass and hips, sounds of pleasure coming from his as sinks his cock into your cunt that has you tightening around him. With a mewl, you have another orgasm and he curses, a low “shit” coming out as he struggles to pull out. He leans down to put his mouth next to your ear, biting the shell as he continues. He doesn’t even break a sweat as he does, stilling himself deep inside you as he lets out a low groan, your eyes scrunch together as you whimper. His cum fills you up to the brim, his hips swiveling to make sure he’s all done.

Well, for that round.

You’re panting heavily as he leaves you, leaning back as he watches your legs shake. His cum oozes out of you, your cunt clenching as it makes more pour out. It’s a beautiful reality, but he wants more. You’re soon flipped onto your back as he is over you again, his hands on the back of your knees, pushing them up. It’s not uncomfortable, but it’s not a very comfortable position, either. Confusion is etched in your face as he does, but his lidded eyes as he licks his lips tell you he’s not done. You’re exhausted, but he’s not.

He wastes no time in sinking himself back into you, his eyes focused on your face as you moan. His grin is almost evil, the way his lips stretch as he bottoms out inside you before roughly thrusting into you. It didn’t take long for another orgasm to start to buildup in you, your head thrown back as your back arches, your head turned to the side as he leans down to lick and bite your collarbone, sinking his teeth into the soft flesh. His hands find yours, intertwining his fingers with yours as he brings them up to your head. You focus on the way his arms flex, the muscles bulging with each thrusts as he puts every ounce of effort into the action. It really shows to how much he loves you and your body.

Even with all the marks on your body, even with all the places he’s touched and licked, that gnawing thought of you worrying nags him. The thought that you’ll still not know just how much he loves you. The thought that you’ll think it was a one time thing. He needs to know you know. He needs to know you’re seeing things in his perspective now. One hand leaves yours, it finding itself around your throat.

“Say my name,” he grunts, alternating his gaze between your face and his cock disappearing inside you. It’s something he’ll never get over. Maybe next time, he can record you two.

“B-Bo—“

“No, my given name. I want you to scream it,” his grip on your neck gets tighter, your walls tightening at the same time. He groans as he throws his head back, his thrusts slowing down as he drags his cock against your walls. “I want your neighbors to know who’s fucking you,”

“You, Kōtarō!” You loudly moan, humming in pleasure as he picks up the pace.

“Who’s making you feel this good? Who does your little cunt belong to?”

“God, you! It belongs to Kōtarō!” You scream, your eyes rolling back as his hands go back to under your knees, pushing them up to your chest. It’s hard to breathe, but you’re clamping down on his cock as a sheen of white forms around it, your slick dripping down your ass and down his balls. The last urge he needed to fuck you like an animal was that, you screaming his name. Your ands wrap around his neck, the material of his jacket rubbing against his thick neck as your nails take down his back. Hissing, he fucks you faster and harder, determination set to get you to one more orgasm. It doesn’t take long, your mouth hanging open as you come undone for one last time, him burying himself as far as he can as he spills another load into you. It’s heavy and fulfilling, but it’s wonderful. A wonderful feeling of being loved.

As you both come down from your highs, he gives you another sloppy kiss. Instead of pulling out, he released your legs and lays on his side, taking you with him.

“Shouldn’t we clean up?”

“That can wait. I don’t wanna leave quite yet,” he pants out, another sloppy kiss. Like he can’t get enough.

Really though, he can’t. He loves you too much

#haikyuu x reader #bokuto x reader #Mr. Kōtarō #bokuto smut #BB.Kinky #BB.Angst #Bokuto.Angst #Bokuto.Spice #tw.alcohol #tw.suicide mention #tw.blood #cw.food #tw.fat shaming #cw.razors #body dysmorphia #body dysmorphic disorder #tw.overdose #haikyuu smut

378 notes · View notes

zeppelin-and-unicorns · 4 years ago

Text

Black Peonies preview

A/N: This is the first chapter of the J/H soulmate AU fanfic I’ve been working on for a really long time. I do not plan on posting it on AO3 or ff.net for now, because I have yet to finish writing the last couple of chapters.

That being said, I hope you enjoy this sneak peek.

Trigger Warning: Explicit child abuse

Chapter one:

January, 1970

Steven Hyde walked through the dark streets of Point Place alone. Mr. Forman’s brother from Chicago got hurt, and the whole Forman clan went to see him for the weekend, which means that Hyde had nowhere to go.

He stayed with Kelso and Donna for a big chunk of the day, but Bob doesn’t like when Donna has boys over after it was dark out, so he and Kelso had to take off.

He walked Kelso to his home, because Hyde was not in a hurry to get to his own house. It was a Saturday, and Edna tends to go a little crazy on Saturdays, that’s why he would often sleep over at the Forman’s.

He was lucky Bob and Midge made them snacks too, because Edna rarely buys any food for the weekends. She tends to spend the little money they have on booze and drugs.

He spent as much time as possible walking around, trying to avoid going home to Edna, but there wasn’t much he could do, it was very cold outside, and he didn’t have a nice jacket to keep him warm, he needed to go home. It was trashy, but at least there was heat. He hoped Edna would be passed out by now, but he doubted, it was still early.

The minute he reached his block, he sighed. He could already hear the sounds of beer bottles clinking and the voices of his mom’s stoner friends, she definitely was not asleep, crap.

Someone threw a beer bottle at his direction, and the glass shattered all over the shitty pavement. He glanced at the direction the bottle came from, and saw his mother’s laughing figure sitting on the porch. Fucking fantastic.

“Home already, kiddo?” She asked, slurring with her words and blowing the smoke from the cigarette in her hand.

“It’s cold” He shrugged, and tried to get inside the house before his mother would start with her usual drunken ramblings, that usually ended up with her blaming him for her shitty life.

His mother grabbed his arm to stop him and he sighed in frustration.

“You couldn’t have stayed with your friend today?” She asked bitterly

“He’s outta town with his folks” He answered, hoping she would drop it and let him go to his room.

“It wasn’t enough for you to ruin my career, now you have to ruin my weekend too?” She said, puffing out another cloud of smoke

“Believe me, I wouldn’t be here if I had somewhere else to go” Hyde answered

“Aren’t you a smartass?” Edna taunted him, and laughed slyly.

“I want to go inside, it’s cold” Hyde said simply, if he learned something from all of his 11 miserable years with Edna, is that there was no use in arguing with her.

“I know something that will warm you up in a second” She slurred out and laughed, forcefully grabbing his right hand on her bony fingers and putting out her cigarette on his skin.

He felt his skin burning and tried to pull his hand off her tight grip, the pain brought tears into his eyes and it was almost unbearable. But she held on tighter, pressing the burnt stub onto his skin as she laughed.

"Tears?" Edna mocked at the sight of Hyde's teary eyes "Aren't you supposed to be a tough guy?"

He held himself back. He wanted to tell her to fuck off so badly, but he knew better. If he did, he would have to spend the night wandering the streets, and he wasn't in the mood to freeze to death.

She flicked the bud onto the snow, and finally let go of his hand. The pain didn't go away though, in fact, it got worse. He thanked a God he wasn't so sure he believed in for making Wisconsin winters so cold. He would be able to hide the burn by wearing gloves and ease the pain by shoving his hand onto the snow that probably accumulated by his bedroom's dingy window.

Hyde glanced one last time at his stoned and drunk pathetic excuse of a mother and headed inside the house, holding his right hand on his left one.

Sometimes he wished the soulmate thing wasn't real. He doesn't like the thought of an innocent girl suffering all the pain his mother puts him through.

But he knew better, the universe never cared about his wishes, otherwise he would have a different mother. He just hoped that the girl who had the bad luck of being his soulmate had a strong support system or whatever, because his shitty reality isn't changing anytime soon.

Meanwhile, in Point Place's community theater…

10 year old Jackie anxiously tried to peek through the closed blinds, today was probably one of the most exciting days of her life, she was about to play on her first piano recital ever! She was trying her hardest to not be nervous, because she’s a Burkhart, and Burkhart’s excel on absolutely everything they do – according to her mother. She practiced every day for hours, she wanted to be perfect, because both of her parents promised they’d watch her play today.

“Miss Burkhart, it’s almost time, are you ready?”

“Yes I am, Mrs. Crawford! I have my sheet here with me – even though I don’t need it, just as a precaution” Jackie said excitedly, and her music teacher smiled

“You’re going to do great, Jackie” She said with a small smile “Go wait over there, you’re up next”

Jackie nodded and went to wait where her teacher indicated. Her heart was beating so fast, and she couldn’t keep the smile off her face. She couldn’t wait to be praised by her parents.

They already missed her dance recital, and neither of them were there when she won the trophy for “Prettiest Ballerina”, but they promised they would attend her piano recital, that’s why she decided she would play one of the hardest songs, so she could impress them.

She knew none of her colleagues had the ability to play this song; most of them were playing “Fur Elise” or “Ode to Joy”. She wanted to be the best, so she chose “Clair de Lune” by Debussy, one of her father’s favorites songs. He likes to listen to it when he’s smoking his cigars, so she made sure to learn just to make him proud.

When she heard Mrs. Crawford calling her name, she’d put on her stage smile, the one her mother taught her so long ago. When she entered the stage, she glanced at the audience, trying to find the familiar faces of her parents. She didn’t see either of them, and she had to repress the urge to cry.

They bailed on her, again. They promised they would make it!

She took a deep breath and saw Martina’s familiar face. She was giving her a sad smile, and Jackie sighed. She likes Martina, but she would never fill the hole left by her mother. It’s not like Martina wants to be there anyways, she only went because she’s paid to do so.

Jackie quickly forced a smile and went to sit at the piano bench. If her parents didn’t want to be there, that’s their loss. There was a good amount of LOPP’s mothers there, she hoped they would tell her mother later how she played beautifully, and her mother better feel bad.

She stretched her fingers the way Mrs. Crawford taught her, and placed the music sheet on its proper place. The second her fingers touched the piano keys, she felt herself relaxing a bit, and when she started to play, she genuinely smiled. The first couple of minutes of the song went smoothly, some people even clapped when she mastered the transition from the slow part of the song to the slightly faster one.

Then she stopped playing, and not because the song was over.

Out of nowhere, she felt a blinding pain on her hand. She whimpered in pain and held her right hand with her left one, tears involuntarily falling from her eyes.

Mrs. Crawford quickly ran to see what was going on with her best student, and she sighed when she saw a black peony forming on the girl’s hand.

“It’s burning, Mrs. Crawford” Jackie cried, and the older woman placed her hand on her shoulder.

“I know honey, you know what that means, right?” She said, and Jackie nodded.

That means that her soulmate was hurting. Again.

Last week Jackie got a new flower on her shoulder, and the week before that, she felt like someone was slapping her on her face.

Thank God that bruises on the face don’t leave flower marks, otherwise people would see her as a freak, because she feels like she’s being slapped or punched on at least once a week.

Mrs. Crawford guided her out of the stage, and made her sit on a small bench near the dressing rooms. Jackie carefully rubbed her hand, the pain was starting to subside a little, the black peony marking the exact place where it was hurting.

“Do you want to go back and start again, Jackie?” The woman gently asked, and Jackie shook her head.

All she wanted to do was go back home and pray for her soulmate to get the help he needs. She doesn’t know why he gets hurt so often, but she wanted it to stop. For both of their sakes.

#jackie x hyde #jackie and hyde #soulmate AU #black peonies #fanfic #zenmasters #that 70s show #that '70s show

24 notes · View notes

jaeyunluvs · 5 years ago

Text

birthday surprises - arón piper imagine

Author’s Note: Thanks for all the positive comments I’ve got on my last headcanon im so happy sdfjsfhds okay anyways here’s the actual first fanfic here we go people!!

SECOND NOTE: There was a problem with my laptop so it doubled a paragraph i’m so so sorry :(( edit: I fixed it

you can read my headcanon here

warnings: nothing. fluff i guess ah and maybe a tiny angst in the beginning

a short disclaimer: i dont know any of these people personally! english is my second language i may have mistakes (let me know if i do) . also i dont really know how to speak spanish so im sorry!!!

anyways enjoy!!

“Do you think he’ll be here?” you asked your sister painfully while sitting on the table eating lunch. Your birthday was tomorrow and you were in your hometown to celebrate your birthday with your siblings and some friends from your childhood nothing much. But your boyfriend, Arón was in the shooting for Elite.

“Honey he’ll try his best but I don’t think he will. He’s a successful actor you know that.” your sister Maya said.

You tried to understand but you didn’t feel happy. You and your family adored him which is a good thing and this made you so happy because he meant a lot to you. But he was the only person you actually wanted to spend time with

“I’ll kill him and punch his face if he doesn’t show up! He’s a cool bro but tell me if you need anything.” your brother Leo told you.

“Leo calm down, stop planning on the poor boy!” your sister Maya defended him.

While they were arguing. You stared at the outside from the window, rain pouring down from the sky. Raindrops on the ground, the fresh feeling of rain, the smell of nature just made you feel better.

After staring at the beauty of nature, Aron called. You immediately run to your room and accept the call from with your sweaty hands.

“Hola, amor”

“Hi aron, i miss you”

“Yo tambien amor, please forgive me but I won’t be able to make it to your birthday can we celebrate it later?” he says in the phone but actually suffering cause he hates it when you’re sad and not be able to spend time especially special times together.

“oh, okay sure” you said while tears pooling in your eyes trying not to make Aron notice. You tried to find an excuse to end the call “then we’ll talk later i gotta go mom’s looking for me.”

“bye carina” you ended the call without hearing him saying bye but you didn’t want him to understand you’re crying and sad because you support his work and you didn’t want him to think you’re a baby (WHICH HE DOESNT I PROMISE). You sat on your bed cried for hours eating ice cream, hugging your dog and watching romcom movies with your sister. (A/N. typical lol)

Meanwhile in the Elite set:

After the call, Aron was actually very unhappy. Miguel and Omar tried to cheer him up. Their work was only waste of time because they know you’re the only person that could make him happy.

You met the elite cast in the first month you started dating Aron which right now it's been 6 months since you've started dating. Everyone loved you and very happy that their friend Aron is dating such a wonderful lady.

"I have an idea. Let's go all together. Aron call her Y/N's sister immediately we have a surprise to do!" Danna chirped.

"But how are we gonna go all together?" Aron asked still sad, in the verge of crying.

“Also The director said we can’t go.” said Claudia with a sad expression.

“I’ll go talk to him we can all have a day off can’t we?” Omar tried to cheer everyone up. He is one of the most cheerful person in the cast which this was the one of the reasons why you loved Omar. After the idea popping up, Itzan and Omar went to talk with the director.

10 minutes passed Aron was still stressing out and feeling unbelievably sad (a/n: this baby cares about you so much ahh sdfhsh <33). Danna and Ester being completely positive they tried to plan the surprise.

After 30 minutes Itzan and Omar came back with good news. They explained that they can have the day off but they begged the director so bad that the director was going to explode.

“That cabron was being so rude! But he’s nice that he accepted so let’s go!” said Omar.

“Madre Mia, Aron you owe us a favor!” claimed Itzan laughing while watching Aron jumping in his seat.

The cast was extremely happy.

The car ride was so fun but weird at the same time. Maria and Jaime couldn’t come but they promised to celebrate it later. Jorge and Miguel partying in the background. Itzan and Aron chatting about rap. Omar and Alvaro sleeping. Last but not least all the girls were sitting together planning everything.

“Aron, what are the things she like? Like what’s her favorite movie?” Ester asked curiously so she can get an idea and brainstorm about the surprise.Aron answered with a low husky voice “She likes dogs, music, and her favorite movie is 10 Things I Hate About You. Mi amor loves oldies.” he smiled while thinking of what you like. He likes every single one of you. I guess this is called love. But are you also in love with him? Are you guys ready to tell that you guys love each other? Rejection. Fear. Concern. Little did he know that you felt the same.“oohh but 10 Things I-” Maria was interrupted by Aron.

“Ay dios mio! I have the perfect idea!” Aron said excitedly. He explained his dearest friends.

They called Maya and Leo to make the surprise possible. They were too happy and they told Aron that you were so sad he immediately felt like an evil and stopped talking. But the plan made him felt better.

It was going to be perfect.

Anyways after 8 hours of the car ride. Everyone was tired. They went on the ride at the night and now it was morning.

Aron was coming.

For his love

The girl he loved.

For you.

The Birthday Day

“WAKEY WAKEY Y/N IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY!” Your sister Maya and brother Leo shouted. They were so excited for the surprise.

The party was going to be in the house so Maya had to take you out of the house until night.

(A/N: Just a side note sorry for interrupting but your parents are not gonna be in the party!)

You grumbled and mumbled a few curse words under your mouth and woke up.

“Today we’re gonna shop, go meet Y/B/F/N and go to the movies!! It’s gonna be so much fun!” Maya said excitedly.

You smiled at your sister and grateful that she wants you to be happy. You tried to forget Aron for that day and have a nice time.

After eating breakfast you went out. Your phone was blowing with birthday messages and some dm’s from instagram about Aron’s arrival to the hometown by fans but Maya immediately caught the phone while she sent you to get something.

The day went great, you went to see Avengers Endgame which is one of your favorite movies, you went to shopping, bought a sunglasses, ate junk food, done silly stuff. But Aron was nowhere to be found for you. There was no message or calls which made you feel so bad inside.

On the other hand, the house was crazy, people trying to cook, plan, decorate the house... It was already a mess.

After the effort that almost 25 people given has done and it was the time that you were going to be taken back home by Maya.

“Y/N it was a great day. happy birthday te quiero mucho. Now go to house I’ll be back i’ll park the car ” she hugged you in the car, then you went out. While you were trying to open the door you heard a similar melody.

“You’re just to good to be true,”

“Can't take my eyes off of you“

“You’ll be like heaven to touch,”

“I wanna hold you so much”

“As long as love as arrived”

“And i thank god I’m alive”

“You’re just too good to be true,

“Can’t take my eyes off of you.”

You saw Aron walking to you singing. You ran into him and kiss him so passionately. You were almost crying. Also he knew your favorite movie and always wanted to be surprised like this.

“You’re here Aron! You’re here and you’re singing like Pat did to Kat.”

“Would never miss it, mi cabron!”

Then you heard a crowd shouting and singing happy birthday for you. You see the elite cast running for you. You hug every single of them and thank for their effort to come there.

You were so grateful to have such friends, family and a boyfriend like that.

It was too good to be true.

Song Credits: Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You - Frankie Valli

151 notes · View notes

demivampirew · 4 years ago

Text

Keep Calm and Go to London chapter 15

Synopsis: This is the story of (y/n), a successful actress, musician, musical producer and songwriter. After battling depression and breaking up a long relationship, she seeks for a change of air, escaping LA for a while going to visit some friends in London and there she meets Henry. -Disclaimer: some chapters are mostly smut.

Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Triggers: talking about body image issues, low self-steem; bullying; mention of sex; talking about kids.

Tag list: Here’s the incredible people who showed me support (thank you so much for that) and people who asked me to tag them too ☺️ (I think I will write a few chapters of this story, if you want me to tag you, tell me ☺️ ) @cavillanche @mary-ann84 @henry-owns-these-tatas @yespolkadotkitty @dancingwendigo constip8merm8 penwieldingdreamer iloveyouyen littlefreya wondersofdreaming alyxkbrl solariumss sweetybuzz25 @thethirstyarchive @agniavateira @honeyloverogers @hell1129-blog @lunedelorient @michelle-1185

Disclaimer: First, there’s a song that reader writes for Henry; of course I’m not a songwriter - as much as I’d loved to- so the song is actually a song from Hannah Montana (yes, laugh but the song it’s perfect for him ♥). Second and lastly, you may not feel as reader relatable in some things, especially in this chapter, but I hope that you still can enjoy it.

Since you started to date Henry, those days of hating your body and yourself were starting to be part of the past. There was no doubt that he desired you and you were perfect on his eyes and made you feel perfect. You could be without any makeup and a simple ponytail or a bun and wearing pyjamas and he'd still made you feel like the most gorgeous woman on earth. You still enjoyed to get dress and wear makeup because it made you feel even better. Most days you felt amazing and the self-bullying started to fade out. But, you still have those days in which you didn't felt confident and beautiful. This was one of those days. You got up and try to put a pair of jeans and ended tossed them out and choosing a pair of leggings instead because the jeans didn't fit you so well anymore. Since the quarantine began, you felt a bit more anxious than usual, so you started to eat a bit more, and the fact that your amazing boyfriend loved to bake bread, cookies and other delicious pastries and meals didn't help you at all. You could go to exercise and your only cardio was the long love-making sessions with Henry every night, that made you burn calories, but no as much as you were consuming. You went to see Henry and seeing him made you feel worse. Contrary to you, he was losing weight but gaining muscle. He trained during the day with some gym stuff and sex made him burn more calories than you. You hated your slow metabolism. He was looking hot as hell and you felt the complete opposite. - Good morning, baby. I made you breakfast.- he greeted you as soon as he saw you. "Great," you thought sarcastically when you saw the waffles waiting for you. - Is there anything wrong? - he asked you detecting that you didn't really mean that. - I'm not hungry, that's all.- you replied, offering a smile. - You have to eat. Sit- he indicated you. - I don't want to - you said, pouting. - What's going on? - he questioned, worried. - I've gained weight. I cannot wear my jeans because they feel really tight and uncomfortable. - Sorry to hear that, but don't you worry. I'm pretty sure when this is all over you will lose that weight or just get new jeans. You look amazing, there's nothing to worry about. I assure you. - That's because you're a man and you're super hot. With me is different. If I get just a few pounds, I'll be all over the internet with people saying that I'm fat. That's what they do to us in Hollywood. - Don't pay attention to what people say about you. Somebody will always look for something to hurt you, just don't let them get to you. You are perfect now and will be perfect always, no matter how you look. - he said as he grabbed your face and gave you a kiss.- And by the way, men also suffer those things. - he said and he sat on a chair and made you sit on his lap.- I was bullied as a kid for being overweight. It affected me a lot and till this day does, maybe not every day, but it definitely makes me feel bad sometimes. Some days, I don't understand why you or anyone would think I'm "sexy" or why you'd like to be with me in the first place. Other days, very often, I feel this pressure of maintaining my muscles and being fit, because I feel like you'd not like to be with me if I don't look ripped and also, I'd trouble with the roles. - he explained looking at the floor as he talked. You grabbed his chin and kissed him. - Sorry baby, I didn't know that. I assure you that no matter your looks, I'll always want you. - your arms were around his neck, resting on his left shoulder. You put your head next to his. After a bit, you ate breakfast and asked him to follow you to the living room. He waited for you there as you went into another room in the house and soon appear with your acoustic guitar. You sat on the couch and he pulled a chair to sit in front of you as you prepared to play something. - When I was in LA, I wrote you a song. I tried to speak a little bit your language, cowboy. -you said winking at him and made him laugh. - Really? - he asked excitedly. - Yes. I hope you like it. - you said and started to play the song for him.

Smooth talkin', so rockin' He's got everything that a girl's wantin' He's a cutie, he plays it groovy And I can't keep myself from doin' somethin' stupid Think I'm really fallin' for his smile Yeah, butterflies when he says my name Hey! He's got somethin' special He's got somethin' special And when he's lookin' at me I wanna get all sentimental He's got somethin' special He's got somethin' special I can hardly breathe somethin's tellin' me Tellin' me maybe he could be the one He could be the one, he could be the one He could be the one, he could be the one He could be the one He's lightnin', sparks are flyin' Everywhere I go he's always on my mind and I'm goin' crazy about him lately And I can't help myself from how my heart is racin' Think I'm really diggin' on his vibe He really blows me away, hey! He's got somethin' special He's got somethin' special And when he's lookin' at me I wanna get all sentimental He's got somethin' special He's got somethin' special I can hardly breathe somethin's tellin' me Tellin' me maybe he could be the one He could be the one, he could be the one He could be the one, he could be the one He could be the one And he's got a way of makin' me feel Like everything I do is perfectly fine The stars are aligned when I'm with him And I'm so into it! He's got somethin' special He's got somethin' special And when he's lookin' at me I wanna get all sentimental He's got somethin' special He's got somethin' special I can hardly breathe somethin's tellin' me Tellin' me maybe he could be the one He could be the one, he could be the one He could be the one, he could be the one He could be the one

Henry couldn't stop smiling. He was so happy and you were over the moon knowing that it was you who made him feel that way. Seeing him so happy was the best feeling in the world. - I don't know what I like the most: the song or your voice? Mmm, let's called it a tie. - I'm glad you like it. - I loved it. - he assured you - So tell me, do you really think I could be "the one"? - he questioned, raising one eyebrow and putting and puppy face. - I think you are the one. - you replied. - I feel the same way about you.- he kissed you. Then, he sat on the couch and you used his thighs to sit on. You kissed for a little bit and then just caressed each other and talked for a bit about things like video games, the music you were working on while quarantining and his hobbies of painting little action figures of his favourite online game. After a bit of silence, you got lost on your train of thoughts. He also believed you were the one for him. Something inside of you told you it was time to confess to him that you've been postponing since you two became a thing. You sighed and decided to let it out. - Babe, there's something we need to talk about.- you said sweetly but let him know that was a serious topic. - Sure, is there something wrong? he asked worriedly. - You want to be a dad, right? - you put it as a question, but it was more a statement rather than a question. - Yes, I'd like to have kids, why do you ask? - I knew it since the beginning. With you is obvious that you want that and that someday you'll be an amazing dad. - you said and then paused for a minute while he looked at you confused - I've never wanted to be a mother. Kids were never part of my future and I don't let me get started in the idea of being pregnant, it scares the shit out of me. - you finally admitted. - I wanted to tell you about the beginning but then I really liked you and wanted to be with you. I didn't know that we actually would become a couple later on the road. And I like you so bad that I was afraid you would leave me, so I couldn't find the courage to tell you. - Henry remained silent. He didn't seem mad at you for not talk to him about it earlier; he was just trying the process the information and also he looked sad. You grabbed his chin and made him look at you.- It's crazy how in one month and a half you change my world completely. I like you so much. I know that we have a long road to ride, if we remain together, so we'll still have to get to know each other better to be 100% sure that the other is "the one" for us. I knew that, but I also knew that the kids thing was something important, so I've been thinking about it, a lot. I've questioned myself is motherhood is something I could do someday. Since I started to think about it, there's a picture -well, is more a scene than a picture- that keep popping in my head: A big garden on autumn, with the leafs falling from the trees and there's you, playing superheroes with a little kid, our kid. Kal is with you two. And me, inside the house, sipping hot tea while I watch you from the window with a smile in my face. Every time that scene appears on my head, I smile; I feel truly happy. But when I think about I'm still sitting on the fence. I think it could be something I would like to do with you, but I have to be completely sure. It isn't just about me or you, there's another life involved in this decision. So the reason I'm telling you all this is because I wanted to ask you to give me some time. I wanna go through all of this in therapy to know for sure I'll make what's best for everyone. If someday I realized I cannot do it, I'll step aside and let you go and find the person who can give you that. I'd never take that away from you. I hope that is me if we still are together, but if not, I'll let you go. But to know all of this, I need time. Do you think you could give that to me? I understand if you want to end this here because you want to be now with someone who's sure about wanting children, though. - you finished. There was a moment of silence. Henry was looking again at the floor, thinking. After a minute, he finally spoke. - That scene. I want it. With you. - he replied and looked into your eyes.- If you tell me that there's even a small possibility that someday that could be a reality, I assure you that I'll give you all the time you need. -he said and stroke your cheeks. You smiled at him and shared a sweet kiss.

#henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x reader #demivampirew

75 notes · View notes

eccentricpony · 5 years ago

Note

Hi, your kaomojis were so cute! UwU Could I request a movie theater date hc with Tenma? ty!!

Hey anon, thanks for visiting my page! I’d be happy to write this for you! I’m going to write in the style of bulleted imagine if that’s okay. My writing style is usually a usually a little campy humorous, a little emotional, a little sexy, and sometimes flowery.

I apologize if my tenses changed, or the style changed, but I just wanted to have fun with it. Maybe possibly a tiny bit implied NSFW but not really.

· You were determined to take Tenma to a movie theater as soon as you had found out he had never been to one.

· Despite his fame, you had learned that this child star beau of yours had missed out on many opportunities that you had taken for granted growing up. Your boyfriend was an odd blend of mature and immature due to his isolation and the pressure to manage a full-time profession at the age of seven. Fame has a price, as they say.

· He was hesitant at first – visiting a heavy traffic social scene meant donning sunglasses, avoiding eye contact… but you had already figured that part out! You’d be soliciting Monster Movie Night at the old theater-turned-cinema in the town square. You were sure Tenma would appreciate the 19th century theater aesthetic, and it was sure to have less attendees than the cinema at the mall.

· And what better movie genre to experience in an old, darkened theater than a classic horror!

· Yeah, no, Tenma was having none of that.

· He claimed that the movie you chose had received bad reviews.

· You then forwarded him the 97% fresh rating from RottenApples.com.

· He argued that the antagonist of the film was an actor he had worked with before and it would be “too weird” to watch someone he knew go on a killing spree.

· You proceeded to locate said actor on IFDB.com to find that he had passed away two years before Tenma was born.

· The lake of excuses having run dry, Tenma agreed to pick you up at 1pm that coming Saturday.

· Tenma was a bit more fidgety than usual in the back of his family limo. You assumed that it was date night jitters, which was so very precious. The old-fashioned theater marquee came into view, and you excitedly shuffled closer to the window. Nightmare on Birch Street! It had been ages since you had seen the film, and you couldn’t recall how the victims had all been killed… was it Chauncey who had been impaled by the school flagpole? You continued to jabber excitedly, the exhilarated sentiments floating through your head remaining unscathed as Tenma had the common courtesy to feign a cough so you couldn’t glimpse his sour expression.

· The journey from the ticket kiosk to the theater was uneventful. There were a few stares, and a “Aren’t you that kid? From the show? At that school?” but you made it to your seats in under 10.

· Wow, they really renovated this place! It was a bit sad to see that the creaky wooden seats of the theater had been replaced with cushy, high-tech armchairs, but it was comforting to know you wouldn’t be suffering a butt-ache following the film.

· Immediately, Tenma started messing with the seat like he was in a dentist’s chair. Leg rest up, back down, leg rest down, back straight, back flat. 123 degree angle…

· “Don’t you have chairs like this at home, rich boy?”

· “Yeah, but I never sit in my living room. There’s never anyone there.”

· Oh. You held out the bag of popcorn as a peace offering. “Well, you know that you’re welcome at my house any time you like.”

· “Yeah so I can recite the monologue from Shinobi Love Song to your mom for the 100th time? I’ll pass”

· “Forget it, sunshine. It was hasty of me to assume you’d be able to find my house without the guidance of Igawa…”

· Cheeky banter was the norm with the two of you, and you never tired of it. He handed you the box of Soup Patch kids with a feigned scowl as the lights in the theater began to dim. Leg rest up, back at a 95 degree angle was his final decision.

· He figured he’d have sometime before the killing started, so he decided to try and pay attention to the overall plot and characters, in case you had questions for him later. So wait… the killer doesn’t actually murder them in real life, but in their dreams? What kind of late night, infomercial hour, made-for-TV junk is this…

· Time to do the classic yawn and stretch. Smooth as a milkshake, he performed what he felt was a very believable yawn (practiced to a fault due to all of his roles as a too-cool-for-school hottie) and casually rested the stretch of his arm across your shoulder.

· You had been dating for about 7 months now. You had been moderately intimate. For Tenma to put on this song-and-dance just to hold onto you was a surefire tell that he was nervous. You hadn’t even really considered that maybe he didn’t like horror. You just assumed that because he was an acting professional that he was also a film aficionado, and a fan of all genres, at that. Stop pigeonholing him! you reminded yourself. Sure, he was perfect to you, but you had to let go of those preconceived notions.

· You turned and leaned closer to him, close enough to kiss. His throat constricted, he had heard there was more to these cinemas than just watching the movie. He prayed to God that this was your intention all along.

· “We can leave if you’re not into it” you insisted into his cheek.

· Pulse still quickening through his neck, he sat back and shook is head.

· “Nah babe, it’s cool. I liked the…” He proceeded to regurgitate every possible fact he had learned about the film within the last 15 minutes.

· Damn, so he was paying attention. You knew there was no point coaxing him to leave once he had made his mind up to stay, so instead you leaned forward and gave him a peck on the nose.

· “You’re adorable.”

· “Tch…” He bristled returning his back to the seat, but with the pouty pleased grin of a child who received praise for a shitty drawing. He watched as your eyes returned to the screen, and you flicked a few pieces of popcorn into your pretty mouth. Now what to do?

· Anything but look at the screen, really. Beads of sweat began to collect on his brow as the movie soundtrack reached a crescendo. He swiftly brushed them off into his already unruly ginger mane. He needed to distract himself, at least until the slicing and dicing had desisted.

· What’s this hole for? Tenma located an out of place hole attached to the arm of the chair. It doesn’t seem to have a bottom, but it does taper off deeper down. Curiosity got the best of him, and he casually slid his hand down into the soft drink cupholder. That’s freakin’ weird, there’s nothing even down there. Dumb. And he promptly finds his hand very much stuck.

· Shit, now what? Now he was really sweating. Some freakin’ great newspaper article this would make. “Teen drama heartthrob finds himself arrested not by the eyes of a young beauty, but the grasp of a plastic cupholder.” His father would kill him, to be sure. He’d probably have to sign autographs for all of the firefighters who removed the plastic cupholder from around his sore wrist. Here he is, trying so very hard to be a man’s man, to weather the barbarism that is horror cinema just to impress you, and now he’d gotten his hand stuck in the metaphorical cookie jar like a damn kid.

· He twists and pulls but he can’t get the heel of his palm back through the opening. He jerks his hand in frustration and elbows your flimsy paper cup of Canada Dry. Oh, so that’s what they’re for…

· “Hey! You got ginger ale on me, what are you doing?” You cocked an eyebrow at his hunched form.

· “Sorry, sorry! Yeah, I- I think I’ve got it. Don’t worry about me- hey! I think that guy in on a TV show with my father.”

· Snapping your head back to the screen, you consented that the man did indeed work with Tenma’s father (you’ve told him this before, he’s one of your favorite actors, and now you need to remind him again why his acting is so transcendent that even in a horror movie he can make the most mundane gestures seem so…)

· To Tenma’s great relief, it turns out ginger ale makes a passable lubricant. Using the splash that now trickled down his forearm, he twisted his wrist and managed to retrieve his very sore hand, tingling with pins and needles as he returned it to his lap. He sensed that you’ve finished your rant and offers a vacant smile. “Yeah… he’s a talented guy…” Crisis averted.

· Back to all the crazy shit happening on Birch Street. Tenma blanched as the whir of a chainsaw could be heard offscreen.

· “You okay? he asked, leaning over to comfort you which really wasn’t necessary whatsoever since you actually seemed extremely excited and not the least bit worried or bothered by all of the disgusting blood and guts and weird fleshy ceiling splayed onto the wall by the projector overhead.

· Before you had a chance to reply, he nuzzled in close to you, his hair brushing your cheek as he snuggled next to your chin. D’aww. You wiggled closer, touching the side of your forehead to his as the shrieks of the Final Girl could be felt penetrating the very seat below you. Great acoustics.

· Tenma wiggles his head into the crook of your neck to avoid looking at the carnage, murmuring an almost devious “Don’t be scared” into your ear before pressing a kiss to the column of your throat.

· Your heart leaps into your ears at the sudden burst of semi-public affection; Tenma wasn’t big on PDA, and you were cool with that. He smelled like a mix of clean cotton and Cool Water (they still make that?) He didn’t really do much besides camp out there above your collarbone after that, but his ghosting breath gave you pleasant chills, so you didn’t tell him he was missing the best part.

· You smelled like almonds and Freesia, he considered. His mother loved Freesia and she had planted them all along their estate courtyard, though she was rarely at home long enough to enjoy it. Tenma enjoyed sitting in the courtyard as a child. While the house was always eerily silent aside from the sterile hum of electricity, the courtyard was always full of tweets and twittering after school, and a discordant chorus of various chirping in the evening. That was what homes are supposed to be like, he had always thought. Chaotic and noisy, but full of life. It was his safe haven, and you carried the scent of it on your skin. You were his new sanctuary… a little pocket of protection from the pains of fake friends and real insecurities.

· These are his last thoughts before he fell asleep. You realize he’s out like a light as the credits roll, and you feel a sliver of drool trail down your clavicle. Hot.

· “Tenma? Hey!” He startles awake and you attempt to suppress a grin. “Hope it was a good dream.”

· Tenma may not have book smarts, but he’s far from stupid. He knows that you know he hated it, and he knows that you know that he knows he was just playing the brave guy to shield his ego. He was beginning to confuse himself, so instead he focused on the core of the matter – he loved you enough to feign interest in something you liked, and you loved him enough to go along with it.

· “They’re always great when they feature my favorite co-star.” He leaned forward and gave the bridge of your nose a chaste smooch.

· Gahhh. The right side of your mouth pinches up in a grin. Damn you and your flawless smileyou’re your immaculate stage presence.

· After he returned his hat and sunglasses to their proper place, with twin grins syrupy-sweet enough to make Yuki vomit, you exited the theater.

· Once outside, he took your hand and pulled you off to the side of the theater, at the mouth of the little alleyway that led to a street behind the theater. His wide palm and long fingers felt warm and comforting, though rather sticky and smelling oddly of ginger.

· “Thanks for coming out with me. I know it’s a pain in the ass for you,” you offered before he could speak.

· “Nah,” he deflects. “I’m used to it.”

· You knew he still hated it.

· “Plus, you’re worth it,” he added, feet shuffling and pink tinging the tips of his ears.

· Butterflies, oh so many butterflies. Rolling onto your toes, you leaned up and kissed him. After a meager gasp of surprise, he returned it with fervor, nose brushing against yours as he experimented with a few different head angles. Sour Patch kids never tasted so good.

· The thump of a closing car door was unfortunately audible above the sounds of your smacking mouths – Igawa was on the move and ready to shuffle the prince of teen dramas and his beloved to the safety of the Sumeragi Cadillac CT5. You groaned in unison, and not the good kind.

· Dragging your mouths apart, your mutual stares shared a silent vow that you would find a way to pick this up again later. Without a word, you both emerged from the shadows, fingers tangled tighter together as you steeled yourselves for a lecture from Igawa on the dangers of lingering in crowded places.

· You had no doubt there would still be plenty more adjustments to be made by both parties, and many a wall to gently tumble down. But that was a future nearly too resplendent to imagine, when where you were now was already a pretty fantastic place to be.

#a3!#a3! actor training game #tenma sumeragi #tenma x reader #a3! imagines #a3! headcanons #a3 imagines #a3 headcanons #a3 tenma #sumeragi tenma #a3! tenma #a3 actor training game #act! addict! actors!

37 notes · View notes

rockets-and-raccoons · 4 years ago

Text

My mum knew when I was really young that I wasnt straight. Not that she consciously recognised it. I was the child she constantly told that love was love. I could love whoever I wanted and that was okay. I was the child that was constantly told by my parents that gays deserved rights and that they would always love me no matter what. I was the child they excitedly told when gay marriage finally became legal.

I grew up repressed with severe internalized homophobia issues. To the point where to this day I still severely struggle with it.

My grandad doesnt believe in gay rights. He thinks it's a phase. That these people are ill. The village I grew up in was very Christian. Being gay was wrong. It was disgusting. Gay people needed serious mental help (ironically half the people my age that grew up there have turned out to be part of the lgbtq+ community).

I went to high school in the neighbouring city. Where everyone around me talked about how disgusting being gay is. The fear of a gay person in the changing rooms was talking about constantly. Gay adoption and marriage was considered wrong. Liking people of the same sex was considered disgusting and uncomfortable.

I was terrified everytime I had to get changed for pe. I was terrified to just look at other girls. And it didnt help that the majority of my friends were boys. I didnt spend much time with girls. The one girl I was good friends with- was suddenly the source of rumours. Everyone at school knew before I did. Talked about if before I accepted it.

She's gay.

I denied it. I didn't believe I was for a second. Did everything I possibly could to prove I wasn't. And yet for my last 2 years at school everyone made jokes about my sexuality. Told me I was gay and in love with my friend. (Maybe I was. Maybe I wasn't. I refused to process my emotions properly back then.) They joked about how I was only straight until I was horny. That I was so obviously gay. But it was a joke. A mocking thing that made me feel so horrific that I did awful, horrific things to prove everyone wrong. Things I have to live with, that i hate myself for. Just becaus every time someone suggested I might be gay, all I could think of was 'it's so wrong.' 'Its disgusting' 'its cruel to children to be raised by gay parents' '1 in 5 people are gay, I sure as hell hope it's never going to be me' 'nobody wants to be gay, it's an illness.' 'I cant be around gay people, they make me uncomfortable' 'they'll stare at you in the changing rooms' 'they'll force themselves on you'

I still cant share a bed with another girl without being terrified. I cant be in the same room as another woman getting changed - I havent had to deal with PE in a decade. Havent heard those whispers in a decade.

Every time I become friends with another girl I'm terrified of what will happen when they find out I'm gay. I can't connect with them properly.

And sometimes. Sometimes I just truly hate myself. I hate the fact I find women attractive. That I'd rather spend the rest of my life with a woman rather than a man. Sometimes, often, I still find that disgust curling up in my stomach.

It doesnt matter that I dont live there anymore. That I now live somewhere so open and so easy to accept everyone and anyone. It doesnt matter that I've admitted it to myself, my family, and my friends. That I tell people so easily, I'm gay.

I'm still terrified of what would happen if people from my home found out. I still hear their conversations. Their mocking words. I still feel the effects of their homophobia. And sometimes I still wish I could pretend I was straight.

I was lucky to be born into such an open and accepting family. But by god, I wish I'd been brought up where I live now. I wish I didnt lie in bed hating myself so much at times. I wish I could be at peace with who I am. Rather than wishing I could go back in time and somehow change myself.

I remember telling my mum I was gay, and her not understanding why I was so distraught. Because 'you should know by now I love you no matter what' - and I didnt know how to tell her society, my friends, our community, were all going to despise me. Hate me. Tell me I told you so. I told my dad minutes after he said he wished his daughters were gay bc he hated dealing with the heterosexual drama and boyfriends. He couldn't understand why I was crying, because he wanted gay children. He had told me my whole life he would always love me no matter what. I was free to love whoever I wanted. And I didnt know how to tell him the world made me feel like I was disgusting and wrong and my existence was even worse than that of rapists.

And my grandpa, who I dont get on with, who doesnt really like me, who I was sure hated the gay community (and he has since admitted that if it was years prior he would have disowned me over sexuality) emailed me to tell me he was proud of me, that being gay wasnt wrong and he had been wrong about how he felt about the lgbtq+ community.

My grandad still thinks I'm going through a phase.

My best friend came out to me in tears, telling me he wished he had known we were both struggling, so we could have at least had each other.

When I finally told my other friends. There was no 'I told you so's' suddenly talking about sexuality wasnt a thing. It was a taboo topic nobody wanted to deal with. The girl everyone joked I was in love with, slowly disappeared from my life.

It's funny until it's true. And that's when you really realise the jokes were really, truly jokes. They didnt believe what they were saying. They just enjoyed the rise they got out of you.

And when I think about being a teenager. Despite the fact its ten years long. The only thing I can truly remember is the internal and external homophobia. Everything else feels hazy. The good times. The bad. It's all a fog that's over-taken by the self-loathing that I still carry.

I wish I could tell my teenage self that it gets better.

I wish my parents would believe me when I tell them I dont blame them for living where they did. We couldn't afford to move. They loved me, they love me, and that's what matters.

I wish I hadnt spent so long chanting 'I'm not gay' before bed. Because I knew from the age of 13, and spent the rest of my teen years in denial. Telling myself I was wrong.

But then I see my sister. My sister who is 10 years younger than me. Who had a big sister come out when she was just 8 years old (I came out at 18, yet spent a further 2 years trying to prove I wasnt. I came out too early. But I figured myself out. Accepted myself more, with the help of my family, and my best friend). She has grown up with more progressive media. Has moved to a more progressive place. Hell, her school has an lgbtq+ club. She has one (1) straight friend. She came out as bisexual at 12. But the older shes getting she thinks that her male crushes were caused by heteronormality and she thinks she might be gay. And shes open. Shes proud. Shes unapologetic in who and what she is.

I think about my self hatred. My self-loathing. About my internalised homophobia. I think of every night I spent lying in bed thinking 'One in five people is gay, it's not me. It won't be me. I'm not gay.' And I look at my little, wonderfully, unapologetically herself, little sister. And I think, that every struggle I've ever been through is worth it. If she gets to feel proud of herself because I've come out. Because my parents had to move bc of me. Because I've done everything I can to support her. To love her. To pretend to love myself for who I am in front of her.

Every day I struggle, I think to myself she doesnt have to. I'm one of the last millennials. She's gen z. And shes not my kid. But theres such a large age gap that I feel that generational difference. And I can't have children of my own. And suddenly, I find myself understand what my parents mean when they say that their suffering was worth it whenever they see us gain something out of it. Making things easier for someone you love, for someone so young, it makes it almost feel like it was worth it.

That trauma is going to stay with me. But my coming out too early, is what had my sister questioning her own sexuality. And it happened early enough in her life. She was questioning it before she hit her teens. She told me she knew she liked girls before she hit ten. But she wasnt too sure what that meant. And she wa worried because biphobia in our family is bad. But the we moved away. And she was watching adventure time and steven universe. And I was suddenly openly accepting myself and flirting with girls. And making jokes about my sexuality. And she came out. So young. So proud. And my parents were accepting of her bisexuality (albeit worried about how the rest of the family would react). And I did what I could to support her. Buying badges and flags and taking her to pride. And now shes come out as fully gay and I'm so happy and hoe safe she felt her journey has been. That at 15 she isnt scared to tell her friends (and they're not afraid to tell her). At 15 she might actually have a girlfriend. And shes been to pride. Goes to pride.

And I am so, so proud of her.

I would love to go back in time and tell myself that it's okay to accept who I am. But I cant.

But my sister grew up knowing it was okay to accept who she was. And my coming out helped my best friend accept who he was.

I didnt have any lgbtq+ friends growing up (that I knew about). There were no clubs. No tv shows. My only support was my mum and my dad.

My sister has a club. She has our family. Her friends. Her school (no awful changing room comments. No snide remarks) She has an open and accepting community. I feel so relieved that she'll (hopefully, pls universe, be kind to her) never have the same experiences I did.

#this is a shitty rant #i dont know where my head is tonight #i guess im just depressed #and wanting hugs #and its that stupid anniversary coming up #so i guess im hating myself a little more #my sister just recame out last week #so maybe that also is playing a part #im so proud of her #i love her #ignore #long post

6 notes · View notes

concentrateandpush · 5 years ago

Text

Lauren had worked in the fast food restaurant for 4 years, her and Dan were studying the same degree. Sometimes Dan would come and eat before the end of shift so they could walk home together. She was the girl next door and they'd lived next to each other their whole lives.

They were best friends, always had been, but one night when the families had a barbeque, both Lauren and Dan had a little too much to drink and ended up sleeping together, nothing more was said and they kind of forgot about it, despite it being both of their first times.

It was getting late and Lauren was sweeping up and in scrolled Dan, he was wearing his typical attire, a check shirt, jeans and DMs. The shoes were something that him and Lauren shared a love of.

"Hey hey hey, could I get a cheese burger and fries with a coke please madam?" Dan asked hanging on to the bar weightlessly.

Lauren chuckled and replied with "Only if you'll walk me home" and with out hesitation, Dan bowed to imply yes.

Lauren had been getting so tired recently, her back was hurting and she constantly had headaches, she assumed this was because of college stresses. But today, she was feeling super crampy, she put it down to not having a period for so long as she had always suffered with irregularity.

"You dont look great Lau, are you ok?" Dan had picked up on her uncomfortable stature. "I guess, I think I just need a hot bath, not long anyway, 45 minutes left then I can leave" Lauren powered through until she went in to the kitchen and picked up a dust pan and brush. As she bent over she felt such a strong pain that she fell down on all fours "F*ck" she shouted, it was a pain she had never experienced before, like a cramp but with severe amounts of pressure.

Gordon, the chef, went over to Lauren and asked if she needed help, by which point Lauren was embarrassed and ran to the bathroom. She slammed door behind her and sat on the toilet seat looking at the mirror to pep talk herself.

"Hoo, okay, not long left then you can get out of here, get some pain killers, have a bath and chill out, you'll be fine, stop thinking about it and it'll go away it's just a period pain, it's been months, it'll all be ok" as she said the last word the pain came back, but somehow even stronger. "Ahh, shh, hoo hoo hoo" she couldnt understand what was happening but heard the bell go off for service, gathering herself and breathing through the pain, she ran out and grabbed Dan's meal and took it to his table.

"What's going on with you? You're sweating, you really dont look well, are you ok?" Dan knows Lauren so well, he can tell something isnt right. "Honest, I'm fine, girl troubles I think" Lauren laughs nervously and runs back to the bathroom to look at her period app. The app she uses tracks periods, ovulation and sex, so when she had sex with Dan it's logged in her diary.

She slept with him in January, her last period was two weeks before, that was 9 months ago. "No, no, no, f*ck" with the realisation of what's going on dawning on her. She locks herself in a cubicle and takes her fingers to her self and touches the area, inserting her fingers slowly to see if she feels anything, she questions whether or not she would be able to feel anything, would it be too early? She feels around forcing her fingers as high up as she can and she touches something, as she touches it, a load of water floods out of her.

"Oh f*ck, I need help, I need to call someone, stay calm, I'm so stupid, oh my god it hurts so bad" panting and crying, she gets her phone out and calls her best friend Sally, she always picks up first time, breathing as rhythmically as she can so when Sally picks up she can talk

"What up gurl" Sally answers.

"Ok I need you to not freak out" Lauren warns Sally.

"What's going on? Where are you?" Sally demands.

"Okay, I need you to listen. About 9 months ago, we had a barbeque and Dan came over, I may have had a few too many drinks and we kind of.."

Sally interrupts Lauren "Girl, tell me you didnt have sex with Dan?! Are you kidding me?"

"Yes, we had sex, but this is serious, how soon can you get to the diner?" Lauren asks.

"If it happened 9 months ago why.. is this a prank? Holy shit Lauren, are you having a baby?" Sally says, putting 2 and 2 together.

"Listen to me, come in through the back door, DO NOT speak to Dan if you bump into him, come straight to the bathroom, I'm in here and I need help, DO NOT bring anyone and do not tell mom or any of my brothers"

Sally doesnt even answer and hangs up, Lauren knows she is on her way. Breathing through the contractions, Lauren has so many things on her mind, where is the baby going to sleep? Should she call Dan in? Does she even want a baby? She rubs her underbelly and realises how much weight she had put on, having always been plus size, she never noticed any difference as her clothes were so baggy.

Ten minutes pass, the door slams open and she hears Sally "Lauren?" She slams every cubicle open and Lauren pushes her door wide. Shes sat on the toilet seat and her legs are wide open, she's in the disabled cubicle so there's loads of room for Sally to get in.

"How long have you known?" Sally asks, offended that he didnt tell her.

"I didnt, I had no idea until the water came out, I haven't even done a test, Sal please help, I can feel something up there, will you look? Is that awkward? F*ck here it comes again"

"Right, Lauren look at me, you can do this, yes it's scary, but I'm here and I'm not leaving. Open your legs up, breathe through the pain and let's see what's going on yeah?"

Sally takes her eyes of Lauren's sweaty, red face and looks between her legs, "oh my god Lauren, I can see the head, the head is coming out, have you been pushing?". "No, hooo hooo, I didnt know if I should, how far out is the head?" Lauren asks as she reaches down and feels the head poking out, "Sally, go and get Dan, I think he needs to be here" Lauren orders.

Sally gets up and goes to the door until Lauren shouts "Wait, please dont go, I need you here, ahh, I dont think I can do this, I dont think I can get it out" she's overwhelmed and frustrated. "Of course you can, you can do anything, here let's get you on the floor, I'll put down my coat, sit on this, get comfortable".

Lauren is half sat up and half lying down with her hands supporting her weight. "I think I should stand up" she says frustratedly. "Okay, maybe try squatting?" Sally suggests. Neither of these girls have even seen someone give birth let alone given birth themselves. "I need to scream, but I dont want anyone to hear, I need Dan".

Lauren starts actively trying to push out the baby, panting through the pain panting, pushing, panting and pushing until she feels the ring of fire. "Sally, rub it, It hurts to bad, rub the sides, please please. Hoo hoo hoo hoo, am I stretched out fully? Ahhhh nghh". "Stay calm, the heads nearly all out, you're doing so well, I'm rubbing around the head, does this help?" Lauren starts to run her fingers around the head with Sally. "I need to push more, nghhhh, hoo, ahhh AHHHH" pushing as hard as her body will let her, gritting her teeth, the whole head is out.

"Lau? Are you in here" Dan shouts from the outside of the door.

"Dan?! Come here, come in the bathroom, please, ahhhh, DAN" Lauren shouts, needing his support, begging for his help.

Dan comes in the bathroom and opens the door to the disabled cubicle to see Lauren, legs spread and his childs head hanging out of her. Lauren is surprised that he smiled excitedly firstly, then he kneels down and holds her hand "Is it mine?" He asks. "Yeah, it's yours" she smiles. "You should have told me, I would have helped you" he says with a frown on his face. "I didnt know, I had no idea, I.. ngh, ahh". "Come on, let's get this baby out" Dan orders.

"Come on, push as hard as you can, like you're going to the bathroom, come on, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. That's so good Lau, now try holding for 10" Dan guides her.

"How do you know that?" Sally asks, curiously.

"I helped my sister give birth to my nieces, the ambulance didnt come fast enough" Dan answers.

"Come on, push down here" Dan puts his finger where Lauren can push, "Let's do this, pushing after 3 for 10 seconds, come on".

"Ooooooooooooooooooo" Lauren is in the zone and is pushing, shes almost singing with the sounds she's making. "Well done, you're getting there, the shoulders are the hardest part, just concentrate and push, okay?"

Lauren nods and pushes down as hard as she can "nggggghhhh, get an ambulance, it's coming out" Sally runs out and tells the chef to call for an ambulance and runs back in as fast as she can "Mmmfffff, shit, whoooooo, AH shit". "You're doing so good, you're beautiful doing this, you got the shoulders out, let's just push now and it should just slide out".

With one last push the baby is out and Lauren and Dan are parents.

#birth #pregnancy #pushing

35 notes · View notes

bangchanshehe · 5 years ago

Text

The Boogeyman pt. 2

Summary: You were constantly having the same reoccurring dream over and over again and your friends told you that it meant nothing. But as your nights became more strange as days passed by you knew that it was more than a dream. much, much more. You tried every night to stop the bizarre dreams from occurring in the same sequence to try to find out more about who or what was controlling them. But when you came face to face with the demon in your dreams in real life, you realized that what he had been telling you all along was true. There is no escape.

??? X Reader

Word Count: 3k

The rest of your morning passed as usual. You made your coffee at 6:30 am sharp, you did your hair and makeup and got dressed and made your way to work. The only difference between your morning and other people’s mornings is that you had only slept for 6 hours. You sighed to yourself once you were parked in the work garage and checked your reflection in the rear view mirror.

Fucking eye bags. You cursed under your breath.

You could tell that physically the lack of sleep was starting to get to you. You no longer had naturally dewy, well rested skin. Your eye bags had grown exponentially, and your mood. Most of all… your mood had taken a turn for the worse.

In your precinct you were always known as the most serious investigator, but lately a few co-workers had added some extra vocabulary to your name. detective “bitch-face”, was your favorite as of yet. You gathered up your bag, threw your keys and phone inside and held onto your coffee cup with a death grip as you prepared yourself for another day of mind-numbing work.

You had barely clocked in and sat your things down at your desk when your boss called you into his office. You rolled your eyes and mentally shifted into your role as a well mannered subordinate, before you stalked off to his office. You knocked twice on his glass door before welcoming yourself in.

“you wanted to see me?” you asked him with a straight face although you knew what he was calling you into his office for

“yes, take a seat y/n” he commanded in an authoritative tone

You obliged him and tried to make yourself comfortable in the stiff chairs.

“I know that you are having some trouble in dealing with the suicide cases y/n.” he started and you let out a sigh “I think that we need to put this case to rest not only for our sake but also for the family’s sakes” he leaned forward at his desk and spoke softer to you “simply put there is nothing further to investigate, and there is no sign of foul play in either of these women’s cases.”

You knew that the correct and polite thing to do would be to agree with your boss, but you had a hunch that you couldn’t get rid of. And you knew that if it was you in those women’s shoes, that you would want for someone to try their best for you.

“all do respect sir, ill have to disagree” you started “I’ve spoken to the families and neither of them mention mental illness or indication of suicide. Their work life, social life and financial stability was solid. There was no reason for those women to have motivation to take their own life. I’ve already –“

“let me stop you right there” your boss interrupted you mid-sentence. “we don’t know for sure that these women weren’t suffering from any mental illness. We cant say that they didn’t commit suicide just because they were perfect on paper.” He shook his head in disagreement

“sir, I’ve spoken with the medical examiner and they say that there is no sign of natural death….” You gave him a stern look and he gave you one back “these women essentially just dropped dead. Nothing in their system, nothing wrong with their health. It doesn’t make any sense!”

“I want you to dismiss the case.” He said firmly

“if either of these women were your daughter or wife, would you want someone else to just dismiss the case sir?” you asked him

He paused for a long while giving you a pointed glare before finally looking down at his desk and back up at you again. “y/n, I am going to give you one more week to work on this case. Either you bring me more evidence that this was a homicide by that time, or we dismiss the case. Is that understood?” he asked you

“yes sir! I appreciate it sir!” you said with a small smile, happy that you had talked him into giving you some more time.

You walked out of his office with more motivation than ever to help these women and their families. You made your way back to your desk, unpacked your files and looked back over their cases, starting with the basics.

Looking over the autopsy results the women seemed to be perfectly healthy beings with nothing in their system other than an sleeping aid.

You didn’t find that the fact that they might need help with falling asleep strange, but if you were going to produce results by the end of the week you had to cross all of your t’s and dot all of your I’s. starting with a call to a medical examiner.

You picked up the phone and dialed the examiner less than hopeful to find anything of significance but unwilling for the case to be dropped without finding any further answers.

“hello, this is examiner song speaking. How can I help you?” a friendly and familiar voice answered

“Hi, Mr. Song this is detective Y/N speaking. I have a few questions for you in regards to the double suicide case. Are you free right now?” you asked him as friendly as possible hoping it would gain you the favor

“oh! Sure ask away!” he said as chipper as ever

“I see from the report that both of the women were both using a sleeping aid and I was wondering if the dose that they had in their system was typical and if you had any other information on this medication?”

He hummed for a moment “the amount still left in the blood stream was pretty typical for a sleep medication, particularly if they had taken it that night. There doesn’t seem to be any signs of drug abuse or abnormalities. However, I don’t know too much about the medication other than its prescription and you have to have some serious sleep insomnia to get prescribed it.” he mentioned

You quickly scribbled down the name of the drug on a piece of paper and thanked the examiner before you hung up the phone. Looking back over the files for the women you quickly look up their family physician’s number only to find that the women both go to the same doctor.

You wrote the number down underneath the name of the medication and stuck in on your computer monitor. You highly doubted that it was a strong lead to pursue since doctor song said the levels look normal and decided to save it for later.

You restlessly looked over your notes and files calling anyone who you think would have any additional information on the women, before you finally noticed that it was close to 11.

You pulled out your phone and text your best friend who was a practicing therapist in your area. You had met her because of work and ever since then you were glued to each other. You smiled to yourself remembering how comfortable it was for the two of you when you had first met. It was like you had just met your best friend who you hadn’t seen for a while and had a ton to catch up on.

The entire reason that you were there to begin with was because you were injured on the job and was told to go as a part of probation until you were “better again”, which was short for do your required 3 appointments for an hour and you’ll be cleared to be back on the force again. But the two of you were so close that you met often after your standard three meetings. Only this time you often met at a bar, after business hours for the both of you.

Hey, want to get Mexican food for lunch around 12? You sent here knowing that she was done with her standard 10-11 appointment. You had looked away for only a moment before you had heard your phone vibrate.

ABSOLUTELY! I have the craziest story to tell you when I get there! Get ready!

You laughed quietly at her text. She always had some crazy story to tell you about her clients. Was it technically legal for her to do so? No, not really. But she was at least responsible to change the names and places in her stories so that at least identities were protected. Plus, since she worked strictly with more upscale clientele, she heard a lot of stories about wild affairs, extravagant parties and occasionally a celebrity gone bad.

You locked your phone and put it down on your desk hoping that within the next 45 minutes you’ll be on a better track then you currently were.

“so you would never believe what happened today!” your friend started off excitedly from across the table, drink in hand “my typical 10 o’clock canceled on me today… whatever, no big deal. But come 9:50ish I get this message from the receptionist that a certain very attractive celebrity wanted to book a same day appointment with me if at all possible. So I’m all ‘hell yeah! Get his ass in here!’ and when he came into my room he told me this story about how he drunkenly married a woman from a foreign country, spent the next three amazing weeks with her in paradise and now she’s gone and he’s completely torn apart from it” she said like it was the wildest news she had ever heard

You stared at her from across the table wondering where she was going to go with her story. Unamused or impressed with what she was telling you

“and I mean like full blown ugly crying in my office over this girl. He pulled out his phone and showed me a picture after picture of her proclaiming that she was the most attractive woman he’d ever met. And eventually at the very end he said that he had received a message from her saying that she was pregnant with another man’s child and wanted to be with him to raise the baby” she stopped to take a breath “I mean the poor guy was really losing his marbles over this chick. But as he’s walking out of the building I literally see him eye fucking some chick and then without a word she just gets into his car and they drive off together to do god knows what!” she finally finished

You raised your eyebrows at her and gave her a look of disbelief. You wouldn’t have believed your ears if it weren’t for the fact that you had some of your own run ins with celebrities or word of celebrities in her office.

“that’s so crazy!” you said confused over such behavior. “hey I have a question for you about a medication and I have no clue if you’ll actually know anything about it.” you said pulling out your sticky note with the name scribbled across the top

She leaned over to look at the name and immediately perked up. “oh yeah I prescribe that pretty often to patients who need help sleeping.” She said before looking up to you “why? Are you looking into a new sleep medication?”

You sighed and put the note away. “well I found it through a case and had never heard of it, so I figured I’d ask. Is it any good?” you asked her

She scoffed and giggled “it’s the best thing that anyone has invented since bread.” She said “fuck all of the older sleep medications. This one is the best. Plus… there’s a little more that goes into it than just getting the drug from a store. You take a questionnaire and they give you an at home test so they can create it to be designed more for what you need.”

Your eyes went wide and you sat back in your chair happy to hear about how good the medicine was. Whatever the price was you would be willing to pay for a decent night’s sleep again.

You pulled out your phone and googled the drug, and scheduling was much simpler than you thought, you made an appointment for 5:30 so you could go straight after work.

“thank you my sweet, sweet friend. I’ll see you later!” you said with a smile on your face shoving one last tortilla chip in your face before you ran to your car so you could get back to the office on time.

The rest of the shift went by terribly slow and you were actually itching to get out of your chair come five o’clock. You had done literally everything that you could have to cover your basics with the case but everything seemed to run into a dead end.

You quickly packed up your belongings and raced out the door so you wouldn’t be late for your appointment. You were as giddy as a school girl to find something that might finally help you feel like a normal human being again. and as soon as you pulled up to the offices for the drug you smiled.

Utopia Inc. you read to yourself, before getting out of the car and walking towards the doors.

Once inside you were impressed with how comfortable and yet clean the offices were. You took a seat in a chair and began reading over the paperwork and questionnaire.

Are you getting more than 5 hours of rest? No.

Do you have trouble falling asleep? No.

Do you have trouble staying asleep? Yes.

On a scale of one to ten how would you rate your average nights rest? 4

Are you currently using any other sleep-inducing medications? No.

What is the average time that you sleep in one night? 4-5 hours

You sighed as you looked over the remaining questions. You couldn’t even remember the last time that you had a decent nights sleep and you were more than anxious to have that back. But the questions were a little dull. You were hoping that the questions would be a little more in depth than the traditional sleep surveys you’ve done in the past.

As you filled out the remaining few questions your name was called by a nurse and you quickly stood and approached her.

“please come this way miss Y/l/n” She said opening a door and walking down a long hallway full of doors. She stopped in front of a office and held the door open for you “ go ahead and have a seat, and the doctor will be ready in just a moment”

You thanked her and took a seat in the stiff looking chair. You read the posters on the walls and looked around the room while you waited, bored and nervous all at once.

Knock, knock.

Your head snapped up and a friendly looking man walked into the room. He peaked his head into the room and gave you a warm smile before introducing himself.

“hi y/n! my name is Jongho and ill be taking care of your sleep test and diagnosis.” He held out his hand for you to shake and you accepted with a smile “I already looked over your questionnaire and it looks like you have some symptoms of severe sleep insomnia” he explained

“which I have some good news and some bad news with that. Unfortunately there is no cure for sleep insomnia, however after we run some sleep tests on you we can get an idea of what kind of medicine you need to regulate your sleeping patterns” he explained to you very calmly and coolly.

Knock, knock.

The two of you turned your head to see who the new intruder was in the room and you were surprised when you saw a very attractive man walk into the room with a bright smile. Jongho was surprised as well by the new guest in the room and looked back over to you with a smile only to give the man a curious glare.

“hello my name is Hongjoong!” the man said extending his hand “ill be assisting doctor choi”

“y/n” you said taking his hand

You couldn’t help but notice the strange way that the physician looked to the man before he looked back at you with an awkward smile. For some reason it made you feel unsettled

“right, so all you have to do is turn on this device and put it on your finger as you sleep for the next week and it will record all of the information that we need. From there once we look at the reports we will form a diagnosis and get you the perfect medication to help you out. Re-testing can occur at any time if you feel that the diagnosis was incorrect and you need a different medication. Any questions?” he asked you with a smile

You shook your head and jongho smiled back at you. He gave you a bag with the necessary equipment and a packet with questions and answers on insomnia. He scheduled an appointment for a week from now and you were completely ready to go home. He shook your hand one last time before you left the office and on your way out Hongjoong stopped you.

He handed you a business card and you accepted it. it was simple with his name, email and phone number on the card. “please don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions or difficulty during the tests”

You looked him over once more noticing how differently he was dressed compared to doctor Choi who was in a white medical gown and business casual clothes. He was wearing a suit that looked like it cost a fortune and he had the air around him like he was a man who didn’t work with people all day long. he seemed impatient, guarded and utterly too perfect.

you smiled at him once before leaving the long hallway and entering the reception area once more. happy like a child on Christmas you carried the box to your car and set it down carefully in the passenger seat as if it were a precious treasure. You looked back up at the building one last time before you pulled away and smiled. Hopefully this would be the answers to your prayers and help you start a happier and healthier chapter in your life.

#kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop seires #kpop smut #kpop fanfic #kpop boogeyman #boogeyman series #boogeyman au #kpop idol #kpop au

13 notes · View notes

redvoid-40 · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter 7 - New Allies

Hello everyone! Hope you’re all being safe and staying indoors in these difficult times. Hope you all are coping well with the whole thing and keep yourselves healthy and happy.

To help you all pass the time I’m posting chapter 7 of my Gaara fic! Hope you all enjoy it! :D

Fanfic title: ??? Word count: 4139 Fandom: Naruto Pairing: eventual Gaara x OC, cannon pairings Genre: Friendship, Adventure, Hurt/Comfort Warnings: None

Previous chapter / Next chapter

Ko-fi

Also! I made a post before but I’ll repeat it here: as a physician, if you have any medical questions about the whole COVID-19 situation feel free to DM me! I’m here if you all need help. :D

After the three Shinobi from Suna left, Shin had asked her teammates to spare her some time. It took some heavy-handed pleading on her part to get Sasuke to wait while she and Naruto convinced Konohamaru and his posse into leaving their “playdate” for another time. But once he agreed to it, Shin knew she had them all. Sakura wouldn’t leave before Sasuke.

Finally, as the sun set down in the horizon, Team Seven found themselves on the rooftop of Shin and Naruto’s apartment building. Shin served them all some iced green tea.

"What's that over there?" Sakura asked, pointing to a make-do wooden structure at the edge of the roof.

The structure was small, with barely enough room for three people to sit underneath it, but it was well made and seemed safe.

"Oh, that's a little gazebo Naruto-chan and I build. We hang out there sometimes when the sun is too bad or when it's raining."

"Shin-chan's apartment doesn't have a veranda like mine so we build that.” Naruto continued with a big smile. “She comes over to play her guitar and she's really good, believe it!"

"It's a lute, Naruto-chan." Shin spoke with a little smile. "But thanks."

"So out with it, Shin-chan!" Naruto urged impatiently. “Tell us what you know about these Chūnin Exams!”

Shin nodded excitedly, running her brown eyes over the three pair of curious gazes on her.

“I have it from a good source that Kakashi-sensei will sign us up for the Chūnin Exams!” Shin announced with a conspiratorial smile. “And from what I heard, three others of this year’s Team Leaders are going to indicate their students for the Exams too.”

“And how would you know that?” Sakura asked. “Kakashi-sensei spent the whole day with us. There’s no way he could’ve told you that himself.”

Shin’s smile faltered for a second.

“You see… only teams of three can take the Exams. I won’t be able to take part in the exams with you.”

Shin observed her teammates and each of them had a very different reaction. Sakura stared at her with wide eyes that were a mix of sadness and surprise. Sasuke sipped his tea quietly, watching Shin attently but giving away nothing of his thoughts. And Naruto…

“THERE’S NO WAY THAT’S GONNA HAPPEN!”

Naruto wasn’t taking it well.

“Naruto-chan, please…”

“No, Shin-chan! It’s not fair that you’re gonna get cut loose like that, believe it! I don’t care if the exams were made for teams of three. We can’t just leave you! You’re part of Team Seven! Right Sakura-chan?”

Sakura was taken aback by Naruto’s outburst but quickly recovered herself and nodded in agreement. “Yes! There should be something we can do about this! After all, it was the Academy that split us in a team of four. They are responsible for this discrepancy in numbers so they must take action as to keep you from being harmed by their decision. I’m sure the Hokage wouldn’t allow it.”

“Yeah! Let’s go talk to that old man!”

Shin stared as her friends came up with a plan of action with wide eyes. She knew Naruto would protest, but didn’t expect Sakura to join him and for them to immediately come up with strategies to help her.

It made something warm spread on her chest as a blush spread on her cheeks.

“Guys, wait a minute, please.” Shin spoke, getting their attention again. “There’s more to this news.”

“You two are too hot-headed.” Sasuke commented. “She said she wasn’t going to participate with us, not that she wasn’t going to participate at all.”

Shin nodded.

“It seems Kakashi-sensei was planning on nominating us for the Chūnin Exams for a while now. He got in contact with a Jonin back in Takigakure who used to be a friend of my mom’s. She is a Team Leader back there, and it seems one of the Genin under her dropped out a few days ago. She came here today to ask me if I’d be willing to take part with her team and I said yes. Right now they must be talking it over with the Hokage.”

As Shin finished her explanation, she noticed Naruto gained an almost somber expression.

“Naruto-chan…” Shin called softly, bumping shoulders with him. “I’m sorry about this. I didn’t want to leave you guys, but it was the only way all of us could participate in the exams together.”

Naruto sighed and nodded. “I know, but…”

“Yes?”

Naruto groaned as if he carried all of the world’s suffering on his shoulders.

“Why can’t Sasuke go instead? We’d be better off without him, believe it.”

Immediately, Sakura put Naruto in a headlock. “How dare you, Naruto?! Sasuke-kun is the best in our team!”

Shin laughed nervously as she tried to pry Sakura’s arms from Naruto’s neck.

“Shin-” Sasuke called, making all three turn their attention to him. “-you used to live near Takigakure, right?”

“Yes.”

“Do you know these new Genin that will be part of your team?”

Shin laughed and scratched the back of her head. “Well, it’s not really my team since I’ll be the “outsider”, but yes! I do know them! We used to play together when I lived there. Also, their te-”

“Are they strong?”

“Uh?” Shin was confused for a moment, until she caught the glint in Sasuke’s eyes. When she turned to Naruto, he was staring at her in much the same way.

She giggled. “Yes, they’re pretty strong.”

This is going to be interesting, uh?

----

On the following day, Shin didn’t go with Naruto to meet with the rest of Team Seven for their usual debriefing. Instead she walked straight towards Konoha’s gates.

It was time to greet her new teammates.

---

“Shin-kun, you’re early.”

The girl startled and turned around, finding none other than her new teacher standing behind her.

“Rashu-sensei! Good morning!” Shin greeted with a big smile. Then, noticing the metal flask in her hand, she swallowed. “Isn’t it a bit too early to be drinking?”

Rashu smirked and took a long swig of her flask.

“Time is an illusion, Shin-kun.”

“...What?”

Kotagi Rashu was a young Jonin from Takigakure, barely 20 years old and she had already made a name for herself in and out of her village. With more than 100 A-rank and 10 S-rank missions she was a force to be reckoned with.

Sure, she didn’t look like it with her pixie-cut orange hair and big blue eyes. She always had a lazy smirk on her lips and wore a tight blue sports bra with a open Jonin vest over it, and on her lower half she had a pair of black, mid-thigh spandex shorts, mesh stockings and blue Shinobi sandals on her feet. Rashu also wore a pair of blue fingerless gloves on her hands and an enormous scroll tied to her lower back.

Despite her ranking, Rashu was a laid-back woman, who lived by one simple philosophy: “things aren’t a problem until they become a problem”.

Rashu used a student-turned-friend to her mother. Shin remembered the Jonin showing up at her home every once in a while to train with her mother. Sometimes she’d even watch and try to imitate them.

And when Rashu came around she used to bring-

“Oh, they’re here.”

Shin turned back to face the city gates and immediately her eyes focused on the people in question. Approaching Konoha with haughty looks on their faces were her childhood friends.

And Shin could only stare wide-eyed at them.

Meguyuta Hajii and Meguyuta Aoni, the twins born to the head of the Meguyuta clan, the richest family from Takigakure and maybe even the most powerful.

Long ago, when Takigakure’s traitor Kakuzu had escaped prison to kill the village’s Elders and steal their secret scrolls, it was the Meguyuta clan who most contributed to restore the village’s secret techniques. The clan had been know to collect many powerful and rare scrolls, keeping them in a secret location under lock and key. So, after Kakuzu’s attack, the new leaders went to them for help. And they received as much help as they wished for and more.

For a price, of course.

Since then, the Meguyutas enjoyed influence and privileges that allowed them to vastly expand their wealth. Many of the lands around Takigakure belonged to them and they enjoyed lots of benefits when it came to product taxation.

Which didn’t mean they were content to just enjoy their wealth as Feudal Lords usually did. The Meguyuta liked packing some punch, tying power that was their own to their name instead of hiring mercenaries and Shinobi for their protection. Which was why Shin wasn’t surprised to hear that the family’s heirs would take the Chūnin Exams.

Meguyuta Aoni was the oldest from the twins and the official family heir. She had grown as pretty as can be, with silky silver hair kept tied in a neat braid over her shoulder and green eyes that reminded Shin of Sakura’s. Her attire was a light pink, sleeveless dress with a zipper that ran from its high collar to the hem at the middle of her thighs. Her legs were covered by black leggings that even from far away looked extremely comfortable, and on her feet she wore black Shinobi boots. Aoni had a wide gold bracelet in each wrist and a large and a broad-headed Dao sword strapped to her back. Her forehead protector was tied loosely around her neck.

Her twin brother Hajii was somehow even prettier than her. He had the same green eyes and silver hair, which was neatly cut, only a few inches long overall, with the exception of his bangs, which were kept longer and parted on the side, tucked behind his ears. The boy wore a pure white skin-tight V-cut tank top and baggy grey pants that were tucked into black Shinobi sandals. He had a multi-layered gold necklace with his a sunflower - his clan’s symbol - hanging from the last chain. Weapon-wise Shin could only see the traditional kunai-holster all Ninja had strapped to his right thigh, just above his Takigakure protector.

They’re nothing like the children I remembered. Shin thought and couldn’t help the blush that rose on her cheeks when she looked down at herself. I should’ve had dressed better for this.

Shin swallowed her embarrassment and smiled brightly at her friends as they finally reached her. She had wanted to pull both into a long-overdue hug, but something kept her from it; as if they were in a whole level above herself.

“It’s so nice to see you two again!” She said. “Aoni-chan, Hajii-chan… I really missed you two!”

The twins gave her a deadpan stare before exchanging a look. It made Shin’s smile drop. The last thing she expected from her friends was silence. When they used to play together they were energetic and borderline needy in their demands for her time and attention.

Did I do something?

Shin’s mind was already running a wild, wondering why her friends were being like that when Hajii let out a long-suffering sigh and opened his arms wide.

“Sorry Ao-nee. I just can’t.”

Next thing Shin knew she was pulled in a hug by Hajii. The kind of hug that squeezed the air out of her lungs and didn’t let go for long moments as the one giving it rubbed his cheek against hers in an almost uncomfortable manner.

“You’re weak, Hajii!” Aoni yelled at her brother. “We were supposed to be mad at her!”

W-What?

“I am mad at her.” Hajii replied, but didn’t let go. “But I missed her… Come on, I know you want to hug her too.”

Confused as hell, Shin stared at Aoni wondering what she would do - kind of hoping she’d follow her brother’s urging and give her a hug too - but the other girl just crossed her arms and averted her eyes from the scene.

Rashu laughed-

“I see you three need some time to catch up. See you all later!”

-and disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving a very disoriented Shin to deal with a clingy Hajii and a fuming Aoni.

What?

---

A few minutes later, and the trio found themselves inside a nearly empty coffee shop. Aoni and Hajii had both ordered the same thing - a matcha latte - while Shin had a cup of simple green tea. Shin was sitting in front of the twins, nursing her tea and occasionally stealing glances at them as she built up the courage to speak.

For a few minutes they sat in a silence that was only broken by the loud slurping sounds of Hajii enjoying his drink as he unashamedly stared back and forth between Shin and his sister.

Shin took a deep breath and at last fixed her brown eyes on Aoni’s.

“Aoni-chan-”

“It’s Meguyuta-san to you, Shin.”

Shin was visibly crestfallen at that response and had to physically hold back tears at the brusqueness of it. She didn’t understand what she had done to warrant such treatment.

“Alright… Meguyuta-san.” She spoke slowly, trying hard not to let her voice break. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I did for you to get so angry at me-”

“I’m angry too you know.” Hajii pointed out.

“Eh… right. I don’t know what I did for you two to be angry at me, but I’m still terribly sorry. Whatever I’ve done I assure you I never meant to harm you. So please-”

“Whatever you’ve done?” Aoni echoed, slamming her paper cup on the table. “Do you really have no idea why we are angry at you?”

“I-I…”

“You left! With no warning or goodbye! You just left us and we had to hear about it from Rashu-sensei!”

Shin swallowed as tears finally fell from her wide eyes. “I-”

“How do you think we felt? Tsurugi-san and Atsuuta-san were important to us too, you know? We loved them and we loved going to play with you and then-” The words caught in Aoni’s throat as tears filled her green eyes. “-then they were murdered. We tried so hard to reach you during their funeral but you never left that strange man’s side. And on the following day we tried to visit you at the hospital but you were suddenly gone. You didn’t- you didn’t even say goodbye to us. Not even a damn note!”

“Calm down, Ao-nee.” Hajii tried, gazing at the few other customers in the coffee shop. “People are staring.”

“Let them!”

“Aoni-chan…” Shin called softly.

“It’s Meguyuta-san t-to you.”

Shin stared at her friend crying unapologetically in front of her, feeling a heavy weight settle on her heart. All Aoni said was true. After her parents were killed she had left her house and village without hesitation or looking back. At the time she had just followed that man without a second thought, him, the one who had saved her life.

Jiraya-san…

---

Shin didn’t know how much time had passed since her mom started fighting against their attacker. Maybe minutes, maybe an hour… regardless she remained still, crying silently over her father’s body. Around her the battle sounds continued loud and strong.

And suddenly they stopped.

As if awaking from a nightmare, Shin raised her wide and teary eyes to the world around her. On shaky legs she finally stood up and took some steps forward, away from her house and closer to the forest.

“Mama?” She called in a small voice. She was hopeful, so hopeful.

A shadow appeared in the darkness then. A large man with green-black eyes and a slashed forehead protector from Takigakure on his head. He wore a black cape with red clouds that had been mostly destroyed during the fight, and hanging limp over his shoulder was-

“Mama!” Shin screamed and ran towards her mother. “Let her go!”

The man’s cold eyes glanced at her, took in her disheveled, tear-stricken appearance with disgust. Once she was close enough, he didn’t hesitate: he kicked her hard in the gut and sent her flying until her little body slammed against a tree.

“Don’t go getting me dirty with your snot. Dry-cleaning is expensive.” The villain spoke in a gruff voice. “Your bitch mother might be worth her weight in gold but she already cost me my partner you know? Well, I was gonna kill him soon but still."

Shin barely could hear what he was saying as she gasped and coughed in turns, trying to get some air in her lungs. Slowly she pushed herself to her feet, feeling blood streak down her mouth and chin.

"Oh? You want some more? I wasn't going to kill you, but I can adapt."

Shin cried. "Let my Mama go."

The man laughed.

And then disappeared from her sight.

Only to materialize in front of her with a large, black fist raised in the air.

Shin wasn't sure what had happened but next thing she knew the man was flying away from her, and only stopped when his back slammed violently on a tree.

"So you're in the business of killing children now? I must admit I didn't think even the Akatsuki would go so low."

That voice was one Shin had never heard before. It was warm and full of confidence.

And it came from right behind her.

Slowly Shin turned around and found a middle-aged, white-haired man standing tall behind her. He was glaring harshly at the bad man, but when he lowered his eyes to her, they mellowed out and a full grin stretched on his face. It was a smile just for her, the kind of smile which had the sole purpose of making someone else smile back.

"Don't you worry, sweetheart. I'm here to help you." He said.

"W-Who are you?"

"Im the Great Toad Sage from Mount Myoboku, Jiraya!” He spoke flamboyantly, before softening his smile again. “I met your mother a few times before, when she was a Konoha Shinobi."

"How heartwarming."

Shin startled at the derisive voice coming from the bad guy and quickly scurried to hide behind Jiraya's legs.

"I don't think we've met before.” Jiraya growled, outting himself fully in front of Shin. “What's your name?"

"None of your business, Sannin."

"The way I see it, there's two ways things can go. You can either give Tsurugi-san to me and leave without a word. Or I'll make you. Personally, I'd rather avoid spilling any more blood in front of a child. And I think you'd rather do the same; you are in pretty bad shape."

The bad man visibly glowered. "I won't just give up on 300.000 yen."

Shin saw Jiraya clench his fists by his sides. "That's a child's mother you're talking about."

"Not anymore. Now she's just another dead body."

The words hit Shin like a sledgehammer on the chest, knocking all the air out of her. Her little hands grabbed tightly on the fabric of her protector's pants as she buried her face there. But even that wasn't enough to stifle her crying. Shin's bawling was loud and full of despair as she felt her world crumble beneath her feet.

"M-Mama…"

Jiraya glared at the bad man in front of him.

"I won't forgive you for this."

There was a dry thump of a body hitting the ground and Shin flinched and buried her head further against the man's legs.

"We'll see ab-"

The bad man's words were cut short by a loud explosion. Shin opened her eyes, finding a cloud of dust surrounding the area where he had been. Then out of somewhere in the darkness a frog tongue shot towards the smoke and pulled back with her Mama in its grasp.

Next thing Shin knew there was a person-sized frog next to her. It stared at her with kindness in its eyes as it lowered her Mama gently to the ground in front of her.

Shin stared at it with tears in her eyes before throwing her little body over her Mama.

"Thank you." She said, over and over.

Shin wasn't sure what happened next. The two men exchanged words that had a deeper meaning that she was capable of understanding, especially overwhelmed by despair as she was.

Then more people showed up. Jonin upon Jonin joined them. Rashu was there. And Aoni and Hajii's uncle and aunt too. And some other Ninjas whose faces she knew but whose names she didn't remember.

It didn't matter who came. The ending was the same.

Her parents were dead and their killer ran away.

----

There were talks after that. Between Rashu and Jiraya, and them and Takigakure's leader and elders, and Aoni and Hajii's parents too. They all talked amongst themselves and with people Shin had never ever seen before, and despite not understanding what exactly they were arguing about Shin had known it was about her.

People showed up to talk to her too, but her default response had been hiding behind Jiraya as she cried softly.

Thinking back Shin wasn't able to explain why she had become so dependent on the Sannin when there were other people around her she knew and liked. Maybe it was because he had been the first to appear and help her. Or maybe it was because he had been the one to give her Mama back to her.

The why didn't matter. The result was the same.

She had hung to Jiraya’s every word and when he said she would be safe in Konohagakure, her Mama's old village, she went with him without hesitation. Like a mouse being lulled by a flute she followed Jiraya to Konoha and didn't look back.

Until today.

---

Shin couldn’t keep the tears from streaking down her face at watching Aoni cry in front of her, because of her. Hajii too; despite not showing, Shin knew the boy had been hurt just as much.

And knowing she was the one that made them sad was killing her.

Back then, Shin didn’t have many friends. Her parents home-schooled her, and the kids at the nearer village had either been a few years older or many younger than her, so it was hard to hang out with them. So when Rashu introduced her to Aoni and Hajii it had honestly reduced Shin to tears of happiness. When their parents allowed any free time, they would often come to her house to play and listen to her Papa play his lute and sing for them. Sometimes they’d invite her over to their clan’s compound for parties and events, or even just watching they train to become strong Shinobi.

Shin had loved them dearly. She still did, despite the years apart.

I was so stupid… thinking it would all be the same after so much happened.

“Aoni-chan… Hajii-chan…” Shin whispered in a trembling voice before standing from her seat.

With tears in her eyes, Shin dropped to her knees in front of her friends and touched her forehead to the floor. Both siblings stared at her with wide eyes, as well as the other few people in the coffee shop.

“I’m so sorry! I was stupid and selfish and a terrible friend to you, b-but… please believe I never wanted to hurt either of you! Please tell me what I can do to apologize to you! I-I’ll do anything you tell me to so please… Be my friends again!”

Afterwards, Shin didn’t raise her face from the floor. She remained there, eyes tightly shut, waiting for what they’d say next, dreading and hoping in equal parts.

Then the air was knocked out of her as Aoni pulled harshly on her wrist, pulling her onto her feet and into a bone-crushing hug.

“You were stupid and selfish!” Aoni screamed and cried in her ear. “But I missed you so much!”

Hajji, never one to be left out of public displays of affection, quickly adhered himself to them. “You know Shin chan… I hadn’t wanted to team up with you to this Exam. It was Ao-nee that dragged me here. She really wanted to see you again.”

“I-I’m happy she did.”

Aoni and Hajii let go and smiled at her. “Us too.”

Suddenly, in a puff of smoke, Rashu appeared with a big smile on her face, pulling all three Genin in a bear-hug.

“So happy my adorable students settled their differences! Now, onwards we go!”

“Where to, Rashu-sensei?”

“Why, training of course.” Rashu answered, letting go of them. “You guys need to practice your teamwork for this thing, and we only have five days. So get ready, because I will work you three to the bone.”

The three Genin exchanged excited glances and as one they nodded.

Rashu’s smile grew larger, almost mischievous.

“That’s the way I like it. So, Team Rashu, with me!”

#Gaara #Sabaku No Gaara #gaara x oc #osasu shin #naruto #fanfic #chapter 7 #be safe you all #take care and stay home #much love

6 notes · View notes

worldviewcast · 6 years ago

Text

Finch - Part 1 (Roleplay with @worldviewfinch/@Little-Noko)

Okay...so this is finally getting rolling...I would first like to start with a reminder that the Roleplays are NOT 100% canon - they are scenarios that myself and Little-Noko come up with to explore the characters and world, but I've been deeply influenced by the events of our RP's before.

They are ALSO VERY LONG- there most likely WILL be some mis-edits. Please just bear with us, myself and my RP editor are doing our best to catch everything we can, but there are literally hundreds upon hundreds of pages of text from our worldbuilding and character development pieces, and we want to be able to get content out in a timely manner.

I've been Roleplaying Worldview scenarios with Little-Noko/Finch for the past year. There is much to dig through and look at.

This particular roleplay has been available in my $10 tier on Patreon since April. I plan on having more things like this posted for patrons in advance, so if that’s something you’re interested in it’s there. :)

WARNING: Most of these RP's WILL deal with MUCH more sensitive topics than some people will be comfortable with! I will DO MY BEST to put the proper content warnings before each posting but I don't know if I'll be able to cover everything - some parts, depending on content, might even have to be skipped entirely. Noko and I really like to push the envelope when it comes to character exploration and development...and we honestly try to be thorough. But, that's what makes a good character, I like to think.

There is no set schedule on these.

And now I'll be quiet so you can enjoy the content.

Special thanks to my editor for helping with these! Content Warnings: Teen death, descriptive torture

Finch – Part 1 Necromancers

Noko: The teenager was making his way home, his school bag hanging on one side of his body while one of his hands rubbed the dark area under his eyes in order to soothe the pain, he wasn't subject to bullying, neither was he a bully, but one thing was sure is that he was a troublemaker, always bothering and teasing people in order to get some attention... he definitely tried to find how he would explain to his parents how he managed to get punched in the face. As he walked in a sparse area to be left alone with his thoughts, he heard something meowing. He looked up and saw a cat, visibly stuck on a third-floor balcony above him. The cat clearly belonged to someone since there was a collar around his neck. The teenager dropped his bag on the side and grabbed the metal ladder that led to the many balconies from the apartments. Many people would have left it alone, but... he couldn't just let this cat be all scared up there. Without any hesitation, he started to climb the building. He had never been scared of heights, and he was pretty confident that he could help up the cat to get off. As he reached the third floor, the teen moved over the metal fence to stretch a leg at the window's border. There wasn't much room to lay his feet on but there was enough grip for him to assure himself that he wouldn't slip. "Kitty, kitty, come here..."

The cat meowed in distress, the teen getting slowly closer to it. "It's okay... I'm here... just..." He felt his entire body work in order to stay balanceed as he tried to crouch down to reach the cat... it took one second... only one, and one of his foot slip away from the ledge, his body soon following. Hitting the dark asphalt.

Alaina: The street was quiet, despite being after school, the alleyway that the small body had managed to slip into was left... unspotted until a young man scouring through the dumpsters nearly tripped over it. He frowned, not expecting to come across such a... specimen. He looked around. No witnesses... being a rather built man he had no problem picking up the heavy cadaver and slinging it over his shoulder, slinking back into the shadows. Any untrained eye would have said the man simply disappeared, but those who looked closer could see they pressed against a dark, alley doorway - sealing back up right as he left. The man hauled the body down to the rotten-smelling sewers, alone. There was a hideaway about a mile walk underground, away from the city - that's where he liked to practice his arts. He sighed, exhausted from the long trip as he laid the body on his examination table, looking it over. The soul was still intact, but definitely ready to leave...it must not have been collected yet. He grinned. That was lucky. He rarely got the chance to practice with such a fresh body....

Noko: A woman drapped in dark clothes was collecting samples from cadavers that her partner in crime had been attempting to reanimate for months now. They were experimenting the limits of the dark art at their greatest extent, wondering if it would be possible to merge a dying soul to an inanimate body, trying passionately to find the answer to eternal life in one a way or another. So far, all attempts had ended in failure... The soul never managing to stay more than a few minutes in an unfamiliar body.

Alaina: He looked over the teen's body, pleased with its condition before thoughtfully looking over the few other bodies he had collected - one stood out, a skeleton race body that had been recently cleaned. He pondered a moment. The one in front of him was Masic... for some reason, Masic souls didn't last as long as any others, but maybe there was a missing connection? He hadn't tried this particular mix yet, but the goal was to practice handling the soul itself. He really didn't expect anything out of the experiment, and slowly, started to summon magic to his hands to build the small encapsulated cushion that would be used to transfer the soul. He had to draw all the magic from the body, absolutely all of it, and make sure that the being as a whole was fully transferred before starting to arduous process of re-distributing the soul into the new body. He called his assistant over- he needed to make sure nothing was overlooked.

Noko: The assistant noticed her partner came back with another sample, her eyebrow rose a moment as she observed him select a young skeleton body that would be perfect for the transfer, it was missing a leg but honestly a limb missing or not wouldn't make a big difference for an experiment. She remained serious, her expression cold as she walked over with a few instruments installed on a rolling table. She observed the corpse starting to move as the magic coursed out of the body, her own palms moving over the body to make sure that every residual magic wouldn't be wasted in the procedure. She took her recorder and spoke. "Experiment ST52.1 We got a new body, freshly dead, Masic, 5feet2, visibly a teenager. Body of transfer, skeleton, younger and smaller, missing left tibias. Preparing for the transfer."

Alaina: "Thank you my dear." The man stated plainly, a pleased look on his face. This was his favorite part! He watched as the soul was slowly drawn up from the body, still pulsing steadily and increasing in its 'beat' as he drew up all the magic he could, color swirling in his own clear encasing, the lightest hints of yellow spreading from his own hands. The energy swirled, the cadaver he was drawing from getting more stiff and hollow looking as the magic was drawn, and he smiled in satisfaction when the soul beat heavily, surrounded by its own life force. "Hmm. Strong soul. Might be an interesting one."

Noko: She smiled back at him, using her own hands to guide the magic as the corpse progressively stopped moving, only to reveal a green, strong and healthy soul. She felt as thrilled as his partner as she registered her voice once more. "Subject A is extremely healthy, magic levels are high, preparing the transfer of the soul on subject B in a second." She felt excited as she was preparing herself mentally to stabilize the magic of the fresh soul in the new body. They would probably manage to keep it alive for a while this time, long enough to see how it would react.

Alaina: "All righty -" The man grinned excitedly, carefully moving his small capsule over the skeleton body. This had to be done with precision, and practice makes perfect. He let the residual magic flow in first, carefully watching the flow as it was preparing the body for revival. It was a slow, careful process, one that he had repeated many times, but it was fun regulating and distributing and re-distributing the excess to make sure he had it just right. Revival was a form of art, really, in his mind, as how well the body was prepared affected how well the body would wake up. He smiled, happy to see the tiny, involuntary movements of the skeleton as he went about his slow and careful work, building up to the point where he could put the final piece in place.

Noko: The woman loved the preparation as she slowly guided the magic inside of the skeleton bones, it was like a massage, following the flow slowly as if they were imitating a bloodstream to acclimate the body to the revival. They were precise and meticulate, taking their time to make sure that the body and the soul wouldn't suffer much from the procedure. Not that she cared about the subject's comfort it was more about the success the experiment. She was thrilled to make further tests, to understand the new being they would create together. To know if the conscience of the soul would remain intact.

Alaina: He waited, patient as anything, wanting everything to be just perfect. The last bit of residual green trickled, working its way into the new bodies system. It was like building a new being, or painting a picture, the strokes having to be in just the right place - he smiled, thrilled with how evenly the magic spread despite being in a body that asked more of it to use, but it was a good, strong, positive flow, and he finally moved to press the soul behind the skeletons ribcage, being oh so careful to 'install' it properly, before manually encouraging the beating magical organ to connect to the various systems it would now be responsible for.

Noko: The assistant helped to encourage the magic to keep moving, impatient to reanimate the skeleton body, a few unwanted spasms happened as most of the residual magic was finally sinking into the system, she gave his partner more space so that this one could install the soul inside of the ribcage. It didn't take long for the soul to connect to the magic stream, the skeleton body arching all of sudden without any warning as it was getting reanimated, the woman forcing the body down as much as possible to not disturb her partner's work. She observed his fists clench, the subject trembling a moment before becoming motionless all of sudden.

Alaina: He raised a brow at the reaction, carefully moving to connect the last few streams of magic that needed it, stroking them carefully so they would start to flow on their own. Slowly, he finished his 'job' looking over the body for any unnatural reaction as he took mental note of what was happening.

Noko: As her partner was connecting the last streams, the woman stepped aside, recording the whole process. The first steps seemed to have been a success, the magic had spread without much resistance inside of subject B, it already showing some motor sign. She waited a moment, impatient to see if the transfer was a success. It only took a minutes for the body's chest to start moving as it took it's first breath. The process was a success, experiment ST52.2 starting once subject C show more sign of life.

Alaina: "This is looking rather hopeful..." The male muttered excitedly, as soon as his hands were free he practically ran to grab a clipboard, jotting down his own personal thoughts and taking note of every intricate detail, his hands moving to jot furiously. "He's breathing - just wait...." He stared over his clipboard with a broad grin, waiting to see if the body was going to move at all.

Noko: The assistant was just as excited as the man, waiting for more signs that their experiment was a success... she just hoped it would stay alive long enough. The skeleton body started to shift faintly, his brow furrowing a moment as it slowly opened it's eyesockets, the eyelights, his expression empty and probably still unconscious of his own existence yet. He seemed relaxed before it finally opened his eyes really wide as he took a deep gasp, as if he had held his breath for hours, his arms moving close to his chest, trembling as it struggled to move, clearly disoriented and lost.

Alaina: "Ahehhee!! Strong reaction!!" He gleed, not hesitating to look over and immediately try to check the skeletons vital signs for recording. "Strong movement, eyelights lit properly - the connection itself seems perfect!!" He shouted in triumph, proud of his handiwork as he kept jogging down notes, smile wide. He snapped his fingers in front of the skeletons face, trying to focus his attention. "Hey. Hey you. Can you hear me?"

Noko: It looked around his vision disoriented as it adjusted to the light and the movements, he was hyperventilating as he tried to understand what was going on... his mind trying to grasp what was in front of him as all he could recall was the impression of falling... His attention quickly moved over the sound of fingers snapping in front of his face, his vision blurred. "Hear.... you?" He repeated without really understanding anything of what he heard or said.

The assistant couldn't help but to beam at the result of their experiments. "It's responding!!!"

Alaina: "Consciously!!" He added, his voice loud and excited. His brow furrowed, his face lit up with pride over his own handiwork. "....I don't see any sign of decay in the magic...not yet anyway. This is definitely an improvement..." He muttered, and snapped his fingers happily. "Get the restraints! I want a full examination -" He smiled like a kid at Christmas thoroughly impressed and pleasantly surprised at the strength of the soul he had happened to find- it must have been his lucky day!

Noko: The subject kept looking around, still panicked as messages in his mind told him that something was clearly wrong... that he was too light... he felt sore... something was missing... there was voice talking... like echoes... but his mind was too confused to even wonder who they were and were he was.

"Alright!" She quickly took the restraints and grabbed one of his wrists to place it against the table, he was so weak that he didn't put any resistance as she attached the other's arms against the table. Progressively attaching the subject to make herself sure that it wouldn't hurt itself.

Alaina: He smiled happily, pulling on a pair of gloves as he tugged a medical trolley up towards him, helping himself to secure his projects head with a restraining leather strap before grabbing a flashlight, checking the subject's responses by shining the light in the newly formed eyelights, and prodding a finger against the inside of the socket to see just how strong the magic was flowing. He didn't stop there, working his way slowly down to poke at every major connective area, curious to see just how well he had installed the soul, rattling off comments for his assistant to jot down in their notes.

Noko: The skeleton tried to free himself, the sudden strain only making him feel more distressed. He shifted his head to the side letting out a grunt as he felt scared and disoriented about what was going on, before geying forced to keep his head straight, as he slowly became immobilized. He couldn't move anymore, only making him even more panicked, his soul thrumming really fast at the traumatic event as one of the two persons moved a flashlight over his eyes, closing them as the light burned him only to get forced to keep them open. Every touch making him react strongly in response. Jolting and hyperventilating as he tried to understand what was going on. "W-w...what?"

Alaina: "Subject is... aware." The male's voice rang in surprise, tapping at the table with a raised brow. He still didn't expect his subject to live very long, but this was a rare chance to test to see just how the transfer process affected the adrenaline in the new body. It was clear the skeleton was panicking, but that just made him more excited. "Lets get some samples! I want to see if he's got any elevated chemicals - this soul is good for endurance." He chattered happily, grabbing a syringe and vials from his cart before reaching over to handle the quickly thrumming soul, none too gently either, looking for a good spot where the magic was especially concentrated with all the new mixtures of body fluids from the revived body. He shoved the syringe deep into the thrumming heart shaped organ, eager to get a mixture of samples from his new creation as he wanted to analyze every bit of what he had made, clearly proud of himself.

Noko: The assistant smiled at the high response coming from the experiment. She started to record once more while his partner was taking samples from the subject. "Subject C respond really well to the soul transfer, it seems that his body moved properly to the new implanted magic. Subject C is conscious, it suffers clearly from disorientation, further tests will be needed to know the state of his mind." It started to yell as her partner sank a syringe straight into it's soul. "Subject C respond to pain. It's soul is clearly attached properly to the body and is in perfect synchronisation to it. We are still uncertain it will last."

The skeleton started to groan while tears came out from his eyesockets as it kept struggling in fear. "N-no.... no..."

Alaina: "This is uncanny." The male started, practically giggling in his excitement. He drew at least five whole vials of pure magic and bodily fluids from the soul before yanking out the syringe, wanting to hurry before the whole process potentially gave out. He made sure the precious samples were secure enough to not be endangered before grabbing a clamp from his table, affixing the device his test subjects arm as he talked. "Test #36, stability. The subject is of skeleton race and the most important part is proper magical distribution! Let's see how well we did!" He beamed, securing one part of the clamp to the table so it wouldn't move, the other pressing his subjects arm in between two metal plates - the whole thing controlled by a screw that would slowly press the plates together, testing how much pressure the bones could take before they snapped, and he carefully started to turn the metal, eyes fixed on the arm he was working on to see just how long it would take before it started to crack.

Noko: The woman blinked of surprise as well, herself extremely excited to push forward the tests and push out the limits of it's subject, this was the first time they had an experiment so aware of themselves. She quickly took the samples to the fridge to secure the vials. Before getting back to the subject as her partner installed the instrument over the skeleton's arm. It still couldn't see properly as his magic was still adjusting to his body. But he was clearly stressed by what was going on, not understanding what was around him until he felt a weird pressure on his arm. It didn't take him long for a sharp pain to made him scream when the bone snapped. The magic keeping the two parts linked.

Alaina: "It's...fully functional." The male stated dumbly, astounded as he stared at the shattered arm. His brow furrowed. He had honestly not expected that, especially from a Masic soul, and there wasnt much else they could study other than seeing how the subject progressed. He removed the clamp, getting out of the way to roll his experiment slightly, just enough to look at his back and get a good look at his still adjusting, but fully functional main magic line. "Hmmm...get it cleaned up, I guess? See if it eats. It... seems completely intact!" He exclaimed, pleased but floored at the discovery - he didn't ACTUALLY expect this to WORK. "It could still just die off, but - let's see how long it takes. I'm curious to know if it starts functioning normally."

Noko: She was extremely impressed by how well the body synchronization with the brand new soul. She didn't hesitate to take care of their experiment, determined to keep it alive for as long as he could as all she wanted to get answers from him. She quickly replaced the other's arm with no softness. Using plastered bandages to fix his arm temporary after her partner was looking at the magic line. They had been extremely lucky on this one and she hoped that she could find crucial information about how the transfer work. Using a smaller container and a strong soul seem to have helped for a stable transfer. She snapped her fingers in front of the experiment as the pain seemed to make him lose consciousness. She registered her voice once more. "Subject C's body seems to react properly to pain. It fainted when it's limb snapped." She looked at her partner, thrilled. A large smile drawing on her face. They will proceed with Experiment ST52.3 once said subject wakes up.

Alaina: "Thank you my dear, it was all in days work!!" He beamed proudly, watching as the soul was still beating heavily under the ribcage. "Passed out but alive...fascinating! We'll proceed to take regular samples until the subject fades. I'm not much interested in keeping a... pet, if it happens to turn out that way - which I'd be surprised if it did." He smiled at his assistant, pleased to see how happy she was. "Perfect step in the right direction! Maybe the secret is magic to relatability...? Skeletons are rumored to be a subspecies of Masic in the past at least - hmmmm...very interesting..."

Noko: "The pleasure is mine." She was so thrilled! This was the first time a subject showed so much awareness and reacted to that much! She hoped it would be coherent enough later... would it remember who it used to be? She started to clean off the bones with water to get rid of any trace of blood and residue over it's body. She didn't care about the experiment well being, she only wanted to make sure that it would last long enough. Only time will tell. "The transition between two races wouldn't be easy... there are so many questions without answers..."

Alaina: "Ahehehe, well - we'll get a few good ones out of this, I'm sure! I'm going to start running the samples, make sure it stays active!" He said with a grin, then yawned deeply. "Ah - he was heavy. I may need to take a nap before we continue - I don't want to miss any of its consciousness!" He called, moving to collect the samples from their cold fridge before ducking out of the dark experimentation room. "Call me if you need anything."

Noko: The woman smiled and waved her hand as if it was not a big deal. "Go sleep, I'll take care of it and tell you if there's any change, just like with the other's, just because he is a promising case doesn't mean that you shouldn't sleep." She kept cleaning its bones before throwing the filthy towel away. "It will be transferred to the cell until it wakes up, I'll keep a good watch on his vitals until then." She said before finally walking away, bringing their experiment along.

Many hours later, the skeleton woke up, opening its eyes before looking around at its surroundings. The room was dark... and it smelled pretty bad... He still felt a sore pain at the level of his arm, only remembering way too well what caused it, which made him soon start to struggle. Being conscious that their subject was awake, the assistant walked in her partner's office. "Subject C is awake."

Alaina: "Really!" The male leaned back from his desk, going over the results that they had gathered previously, before turning to face his assistant with a broad smile. "I can't believe he's lasted so long - lets see how he's holding up!" He popped out of his chair, making his way eagerly back to the test room. He didn't bother with gloves this time, he didn't expect to be doing too much extensively dirty work, and instead directly approached his waking subject. "Well would ya look at that..."

Noko: "I'm as surprised as you are! I was about to see if he got some primary needs, I thought that you would like to see how he behaves." She smiled almost cruelly, she would love to do some tests, especially now that her subject was so responsive. She opened the door of the room that confined him. Finding him struggling as it tried to free himself from the restraints that kept him immobilized him, jolting in fear as he noticed the two persons walking in.. "N-no ! No!"

Alaina: "So responsive..." He muttered, not hesitating in the least as he strode over to his subjects immobilized head. He was already curiously looking down straight at the skeletons eyelights, pushing a finger inside the skull to poke at the sensitive veins of magic that kept it lit, looking to see how steady it was now that the magic had had plenty of time to settle into its new home. "I can hardly believe it - but it seems well enough. Hey... " He poked at the skeletons forehead, his face showing nothing but pure curiosity. "Are you hungry?"

Noko: He grimaced when he felt man approach... and felt surprised and confused as this one sank his finger in his eye... or at least were his eye should be. His confused and lost mind for earlier was getting more precise about how wrong he felt. His eyesockets opened really wide, alert as this one poked his forehead until the man spoke once more... asking him if he was hungry which he replied fearfully in faint nods.

The woman smiled brightly at the response only to bring a nutritious pudding on a moving tray. "It can understand us! Wonderful!" She dipped a spoon in the cup of pudding before showing it to the skeleton. "Don't be scared. Be good and we won't hurt you today."

Alaina: "Right. REASONING!" The man tilted his head in honest confusion. He wasn't accustomed to working with - living things. It was a shift he wasn't sure he could handle. He shifted awkwardly, looking down at the skeleton before tapping at his own face thoughtfully. "Hm. It'd be better if you could talk. Can you talk?" He asked, his eyes suddenly wide with curiosity. He had heard the subject mutter protests earlier, but if he could form a conversation - it would be a good test to the mental state, anyway, and he kept staring at the other, an eager smile spreading over his face.

Noko: She was so excited! She loved to work with dead and reanimate it, but this was even better! They could study their experiment, see how he would adapt to his body despite the drastically different nature of his soul. And she was even more pleased to see her partner further the experiment along as he asked if he could talk.

The skeleton frowned faintly as he tried to gather his thoughts before nodding nervously, clearly scared at the idea of getting hurt. "Y-yes... w-where-" Before he could ask further, the woman shoved a spoonful of pudding in his mouth, he swallowed quickly before coughing. This was wrong, something felt wrong.

"Good boy."

Alaina: "...Interesting..." He raised a brow, pleased to watch the skeleton while his assistant took care of it, looking for any signs of weakness or abnormal reactions - the boy seemed to be adapting at an incredible rate, which was making him giddy and proud with just how well he had done. He walked around the room a moment, watching to see if the eyelights were going to follow him or remained focused on the woman feeding him - he couldn't help but chuckle, she was kind of cute, so excited to 'care' for the little experiment. "He definitely looks strong - should we... see if he can move? I'd like to at least test his reflexes."

Noko: Surprisingly, the subject kept following the man's movements, alert and scared about what they would do next, after all, he was one that had hurt him. "how long? Where...? Who? What?" He closed his eyesockets, frowning as he was on the verge of panic, all he could recall for now was that impression of falling before he woke up... He opened his eyes once more as this one proposed to free him... or at least that's what he understood. He still felt wrong...

"Well... now that you say it... it's not like it can run with one leg missing." She put the cup of pudding on the side and loosened the straps that were straining the subject. The first thing the Skelton did was to sit up, grimacing before it froze at the sight of his bones... he... was sure it wasn't supposed to look like that. He stared at his hands, moving them, completely lost in his mind, a fascinated, yet scared expression on his face as it felt so light... they were not his...

Alaina: "Oh this oughta be interesting." The male interjected, turning to stand right beside his subject as he watched the skeleton move, definitely taking in his new body. "Pretty good, right?!" He stated proudly, looking the skeleton up and down. "The key to soul transfers is making sure the magic is JUST right! Building the whole system from the ground up! It's got to be PERFECT or nothing works. I must say I've totally outdone myself this time, I can't believe you're even awake - ahahha!" He laughed heartily, clearly proud of himself and his own work as he tended to ramble about his own accomplishments,turning to his assistant. "I've had plenty of practice, but this is a success definitely worthy of the record books if I do say so myself."

Noko: His hands ran over his bones as if he was looking for something that wasn't there, grimacing as his broken arm was hurting really bad whenever he was moving it... He barely registered what the others were saying as he tried to assimilate what he was supposed to be... trying to picture what he was supposed to look like, but failing no matter how hard he tried to remember. He barely had time to think that the woman distracted him. Poking his forehead to get his attention. "I need to see your motor skills." She offered him another spoonful of pudding. "Take it."

He started to shake, clearly due to the mental shock more then because his body had trouble to stay stable. He closed his fingers over the utensil before taking another bite of pudding, famished.

"Good boy."

Alaina: The male started to jot down notes, frowning as his subjects mental state was affecting his results - he wasn't too pleased about that, but he supposed there wasn't much helping it. Transferring bodies was sure to leave some sort of effect - it would be interesting to see if the subject could handle it. "Ehh... I'd like to see improvement over the next few hours." He said blandly with a shrug, tapping at his notes with a pen. "Not a bad start though. You - uh. C." He started, pointing at the skeleton. "Tell me - do you actually feel hunger, or are you just eating to eat?"

Noko: The assistant observed with attention how the subject was reacting... there was signs of trauma, which she expected from a soul that hadn't been revived in the 'proper' form of their art, she didn't care much for their experiment, but she definitely seemed more enthusiastic than her partner, using soft words to play with the 'child's mind. The more docile, the better.

And it was working, her encouragement, almost working like a maternal figure, seemed enough to keep the subject calm despite his clear confusion. As the man called him "C", this one looked at him, unsure... was it his name? It didn't feel like it. He hesitated a moment, nervous to reply. "I-I'm hungry... feels... empty." He moved one hand over his stomach... as if something was supposed there.

Alaina: "Hmmmm.... good, very good!" His smile returned, pleased as he started to return to his notes happily - jotting quickly. "Makes sense, after all - now... do you remember anything? I'm very curious to know how your memory has retained - if at all." He explained simply, flatly as he kept looking over the skeleton.

Noko: Memories... uh... He frowned, his mind more and more alert at the other words while he tried to reply to the question properly. "I r-remember... falling? That my body isn't.... like that... I... I don't know... I don't know!!!" He repeated, holding his skull on the verge of panic. The assistant quickly reacting by taking his hand, a serious expression on her face as she tried to be as sweet as possible despite her lack of practice.

"It's alright, it might take time for it to come back, you went through a lot of shock. We're just asking you a question, alright? Nothing to be scared about. You're doing good..." She took the spoon away from his hand to dip it in the pudding again and feed him. Here. Eat, you need it.

The skeleton obeyed meekly, fighting his weirded out mind.

Alaina: "Mmm...." The male quieted himself, withdrawing thoughtfully as he let his assistant handle the subject - he would like to get as much info as possible before something possibly happened. Either way, he took a step back, putting a sterile smile on. "Well, take your time then. Eat something. We'd like to keep a careful eye on you, of course...." He stated, voice starting to trail as he was more just trying to judge the skeletons reactions than purposeful prod at his unstable mentality.

Noko: She offered him the rest of the cup, stroking the top of his skull as she placed the spoon back in it. "Did you hear him? Eat as much as you can. You went through a lot, and you need to build strength. Alright?"

The skeleton nodded faintly before keep eating, his appetite growing as he ate more, he was famished, and it was enough to distract his unstable mentality. The assistant was disappointed… but she hoped that this one would start to remember who he used to be, even a little. She didn't let herself get discouraged, however glad that she had managed to make him docile for now, she looked at her partner. "Perhaps we could test his reflex and mind? I mean, he still pretty confused, but I want to see if only the memories have been affected."

Alaina: "Hmm.... I think I have just the thing." The male stated brightly, coming up with an idea as he ran out of the room for a moment. He returned shortly with a couple books and a pen - one was a dusty old workbook and the other was a simple word puzzle book. "Here - see if he can't work that brain of his just a little. Some focused thought might help him... stabilize." He gave an awkward look as he passed over the objects, not used to having to be 'delicate' as he was now minding what he was saying. They had trained themselves to not think of their subjects as people, it was easier that way - but this... thing was clearly scared and confused and he needed a calm mind to see just how effective his work had been. "I can go over his reflexes in a moment, maybe?" He offered as almost an afterthought.

Noko: As the man left the room, the assistant praised their experiment as it seemed to enjoy the taste of the pudding as he ate it faster at each new bite, stroking his head as if she was praising a dog. That's a good boy, keep eating as much as you can. She was actually really fascinated at how well this subject was doing as he was the first one to ever have an appetite. As her partner came back with books, this one smiled cheerfully. "Perfect! I think it's just what he needs." She took the empty cup and the spoon before looking at it. "Be good and there will be more for you... Understood?"

The skeleton nodded faintly as his attention moved over his bones once more. Why didn't he have any clothes? Who were these people? What happened to him? "Is....it going.... to hurt again?"

Alaina: The man looked thoughtful a moment - he definitely thought his assistant had the right idea about bribing the little 'pet' - and he offered a plastic smile. "I'm done with my extreme testing - I WOULD like to get some more samples as you stabilize but it will go a lot easier if you behave. Promise." He was not a warm person by any means, but there was definitely an edge of truth to his words - and he certainly gave off the impression that he was going to get what he wanted, one way or another. He noted the arm he had shattered the previous day, nodding towards it with the smallest smidgen of understanding. "There won't be any more of that, if that's what you're worried about."

Noko: She was glad to see that her partner played along to manipulate their experiment. As long they would give him a good reason to behave, it would make things easier if their experiment was stable enough for their numerous tests. She smiled as she saw subject C nod in agreement while his hand rested on his hurt arm. "O-okay..." There were so many questions... like where he came from and who was he and what happened to him... yet... he somehow didn't think that he was allowed to ask for an answer.

"Perfect! We will put you through a number of tests now, just do your best, we want to see what you are capable of." She looked at her partner, amused and thrilled to discover more.

Alaina: "Okay - now..." He paused momentarily, an idea coming to mind as he turned to his assistant. "My dear, maybe he would work a little better in some clothes? It is kind of cold down here. Here, my assistant will fetch you something to put on if you can show me how comprehensive you are." He said with a smile, pushing a book into the skeletons lap. "Just read and complete some of the puzzles if you can." He asked eagerly, a curious grin crossing his face as he pulled up a chair to sit in.

Noko: The assistant blinked in surprise as her partner proposed some clothes in exchange of a few puzzles... she didn't understand the point of giving the subject clothes but she shrugged before heading out, the skeleton following her with his eyes before the man placed a book over his lap. He stared at the book a moment before opening it.... finding the texture under his fingers different then what he was used to. "Uhm... I-I need a pen..." He said as he was looking at the puzzles in front of his eyes, some seemed really hard... but he honestly didn't know what else he could do aside from obeying.

Alaina: "All right." He waited just a moment before digging the required tool out of his pocket, holding it out for the skeleton. He purposefully held it a little further away, waiting to see if the subject had the coordination and strength to lean forward and reach for it. He continued giving a plastic smile, holding it just out of immediate arms reach. "Here ya go."

Noko: The skeleton blinked when the man handed him the pen... but too far away for him to reach it... was it another test... again? He shifted himself to sit on the border of the table to stretch his healthy arm and grab it. "Thanks..." He then reinstalled himself properly, as he started to solve the simple

crossword puzzles. Curiously, the words came easy in his mind as he actually... knew without really knowing where he had learned all that.

The assistant came back with a shirt. "This is the only clothes I have found that aren't covered in mold."

Alaina: "It'll do." The male nodded in satisfaction, watching his subject move and think naturally - he really had adapted to his body almost perfectly without even realizing it, only his mind was confused and lost. It became almost a game, watching the skeletons face when he got stumped only to see realization lit up his features - just like any other person, and he started to smile at his own accomplishments, so absorbed in just studying the other he barely acknowledged anything else happening in the room for quite some time, just...staring at the experiment like an animal in a zoo.

Noko: She noticed how well the experiment was doing with the crosswords... it was so goodbye to see how his cognitive mind seemed to work really well despite the lack of memories. "I'll have to test its memories some more since it seems to remember information from its past life... Mmmh..." She thought while stroking her chin, she would have brought memory games to test his vision even have a 'therapy' session. "I need to see how it thinks... Wait!" She looked at her partner. "Where is its old body?"

The skeleton raised his head as he listened to the woman. A confused yet worried expression on his face. "My... old body ?"

Alaina: "Oh, I haven't cleaned it up yet." The male replied, shrugging with a touch of disinterest. "We've been distracted, so its probably still on the examination table." His attention turned towards his little pet project, and he started to beam proudly. "Oh yeah, it was pretty beat up - still not sure what it was doing just lying in the alley though."

Noko: The woman smiled, please, the corpse was probably rotting, she had no intention to show it to their experiement, the shock would probably cause his mind to lose the little stability they had with him... at least for now. She wanted however, to stimulate it's long-term memories. "Perfect! I won't be long!" She walked away, far from caring about the experiment as the skeleton seemed to realize something.

The skeleton frowned as the man described his old body... "So... that feeling... that body.... it's not mine"? He moved his fingers slowly, clearly starting to depersonalize.

Alaina: "Correct." The man said with a pleased smile, gesturing towards his little experiment with a great deal of pride- he was happy to talk about how great he was, obviously very excited over his 'art'. "You were quite dead, but soul intact. I saved you." He emphasized with an excited grin, leaning over slightly to watch his subject. "Wasn't sure if it was going to work, but I must be more talented than I thought -"

Noko: Quite dead... then that impression of falling that he had when he woke up, the first memories that were in his mind... was it the moment he died? Did he really die? Who was this body he was in? His expression became empty for a moment before he looked up at the man. "You.... saved me?" It didn't feel like he had been saved... they called him subject C... this place didn't look like a hospital. "Y-you broke my arm..."

The woman came back, a set of clothes in her arms. I'm back, sorry to take so long, you were right. That guy is heavy!

Alaina: "Ahaha, sorry - " He stated emptily, waving his hand in front of his face dismissively. "I wasn't sure you were going to wake up! You're the first success we've had that's remained conscious - I test every new experiment for stability to see what I did right, what I did wrong...but you...you're my greatest MASTERPIECE!" He said with a grin, his face lighting up to ridiculous levels before his assistant's voice drew his attention, his head spinning around to watch her - and he quickly caught on to what she was doing. "OOOH brilliant my dear!! You never cease to impress - "

Noko: The skeleton looked away when the male apologized... it felt cold and empty... and he honestly didn't like it... He was so scared from the moment he had woken up... The man was talking about him like he wasn't even human. Like he was just some kind of object that he was studying... and nothing more. He started to distract his confused mind with more puzzles, at least they wouldn't hurt him more if he did good or bad, when the woman suddenly came back with something... familiar? Without really thinking, the skeleton slid off the table to walk toward her, but he only found himself falling into a faceplant as he attempted to walk on his missing leg. The woman couldn't help herself but chuckle at the result as she went over to help it stand up. "You're missing a leg, what were you thinking?" She looked down at the clothes as she found it grabbing at the fabric.

Alaina: The man let out a light laugh as well, almost smirking at him. "Well, he moved well despite it." He commented naturally, cocking a brow as they tried to stand from the floor, and he reached down to help pick up their subject, wondering lightly if he had managed to injure himself. "Still, that was a good effort."

Noko: She managed to help him stand up slowly and sat on the table once more. "Really good, it seems to remember all his motricity... or perhaps it's the body that recalls it, either way, they were pretty good." She looked at how the skeleton was holding at the clothes, staring at it. "Does it remind you something?"

He didn't say a word, his thumbs stroking the fabric, it felt like... he had worn that... that someone used to complain about how often he wore it. "It's my shirt?" But why couldn't he recall anything further than that...? What was his name?

"Yes! It's your shirt C. That's really great!"

Alaina: He also smiled, impressed with the progress. "Yes, your clothes." He pondered, his thoughts wondering if he should push it any further or not... helping to encourage the subjects thought process at all. "I found you face down in an alley, you looked like you had fallen from one of the apartments. That's all I saw though." He explained simply, looking down at the clothes. "Is that the kind of thing you like?"

Noko: The skeleton stared at his clothes silently, frowning as he listened to him and tried to remember what he had been doing. "I fell... I was... trying to do... something..." When the man asked him if he liked it... "I think... I wear that a lot..."

The woman rubbed her chin before looking at her partner. "Do you think it's a general amnesia or that its soul has trouble to dissociate from his current body?" She didn't care much about the young subject, only trying to understand why his thought process was so blurred when it came from its memories.

Alaina: "It could also be the trauma of the procedure." He stated with a shrug, tilting his head in thought himself. "Something about the mind tries to keep things... intact, when stuff gets too hard to 'handle'." He scratched at his own head in mild frustration - he wished that wasn't the case, it would make things a lot easier. "But it could also be a combination of everything, it's too soon to tell really. If it gets better with time, it's probably dissociation, if it isn't... could be the soul protecting itself, or amnesia is just a side affect... I'm not sure." He stated honestly, frowning at his lack of understanding.

Noko: As she saw her partner's frustration, she offered him an amused smirk, patting his shoulders. "There, there. It's why I'm here for, after all, I'll just keep doing more tests until we got the answers. If it's just his soul adjusting, some of his memories might just come back as time pass." She loved these kinds of puzzles, it was different than those mindless subjects that she had to handle every day at their lab. She looked at their experiment, a larger smile on her face. "There, how about we put your clothes on, mmmh? The woman slowly took the shirt from him. "Raise your arms."

He obeyed before raising his arms, grimacing at the pain coming from the fracture.

"Mgh...."

Alaina: "Well...if that's the case. I'll keep running tests - oh. I would like a sample, now that he's calmed down." He reminded, looking more at his assistant than the subject, as if searching out her approval to retrieve what he wanted. This was simply not his area of expertise, but he definitely wanted to see how the magic was acting now that it was given time to even out.

Noko: She waved her hand as she clearly didn't mind it. "Let me dress it up and you'll be able to take as many samples as you want." She helped the experiment to dress up as he visibly had trouble to move his arm because of the injury.

The skeleton moved down his arms down stretching the shirt in incomprehension. "Bigger than I.... remember..."

"Your new body is younger. And without muscles, you definitely need smaller clothes." She stated as she put his pants on before looking at him with a serious expression on her face. "Now be a good boy, we need magic samples to see how your body adapted. Then you'll rest."

The skeleton remained silent before nodding, sure that he had no choice.

Alaina: "Now lay back and stay calm." The man instructed clearly, his voice cold and sterile as he moved to retrieve his trolley of supplies, pulling it over as he glanced over his instruments. He definitely wanted a soul sample... and maybe a main line sample? He pondered a moment before snapping on a pair of latex gloves, reaching for a large syringe as he gestured towards the subject. "Soul first."

Noko: The skeleton was about to lay back on his table when he froze as the man put his gloves on, his own hand pressing against his chest when the man requested his soul, the large syringe scaring him... recalling way too much what happened a while ago. He shook his head slowly. "N-no... Please... that h-hurt a lot..." He admitted, terrified about the idea of feeling the syringe sink into his soul again.

The woman frowned, disappointed before pressing him down against the table. "I said, be good. So no complaining."

"N-no..." He started to struggle, terrified.

Alaina: "Would you rather I tie you down again?" The man stated warningly, narrowing his gaze at his subject a moment. "It'll hurt less if you cooperate, but you need to relax ." He frowned down at the other, displeasure hardening his features. "Soul. Now." He stated sternly, a certain level of threat holding in his tone - nobody was going to keep him from HIS research.

Noko: He froze as the man menaced to tie him to the table again. He was breathing heavily, still terrified by the idea a syringe would sink into his soul. "B-but..." He started, tears feeling up his eyesockets before trying his best to obey and relax just like the man said... it would be worse if he didn't. Without any hesitation, and far from delicate as well, she grabbed the subject's soul by force and handed it over to her partner. "Here." She looked at it with a cold gaze. "Now don't move and relax."

Alaina: "Thank you, my dear. See, being cooperative helps a lot." The man stated in partial encouragement, running over the small organ to look for a good spot - it was unfortunate for the skeleton but his most active, most concentrated magic was deep in the magical heart, and he looked over it like a puzzle before squeezing lightly to get a good grip, shoving the needle almost carelessly into the spot he needed.

Noko: He held his breath, tensing up as the woman held his soul, shivering and crying in response. That wasn't cooperation! Not at all! He was forced to do things he didn't want... It felt wrong... and when then man manipulated his soul. It felt even worse... it hurt, it made him twitch and shift of discomfort, near to lose the little calm he had left as he was close to panicking again. The skeleton started crying when he felt the needle sink deep into his thrumming soul. The woman sighed out of annoyance, keeping him in place as he started to struggle.

"Stop complaining. It's nothing."

Alaina: The male ignored him, fully focused on getting what he needed - several heavy samples from the small soul. He filled vial after vial, before finally he had enough to be satisfied, his face twitched in annoyance as the child continued to struggle. It was distracting, which was making the whole process less fun. He yanked the syringe when he was done, his movements a little more harsh as he was slowly growing frustrated. "Put him on his side." He instructed harshly, securing the samples before reaching over for a new instrument, the sound of metal clattering against the each other as he moved.

Noko: The woman obeyed without caring much about her struggling subject, only too start using the straps, becoming just as annoyed as her partner. "Stop moving! The more you will the more unpleasant it will get for you !"

The subject didn't listen, the sound of the metal instrument only create more fear out of him. "W-what are you doing ?! Please.... s-stop..." He sobbed. "Stop... no more pain... please..." He didn't like this... He wanted this to end. He didn't know what else was waiting for him... but being restrained made it worse.

"Manipulation doesn't seem to work... It isn't cooperative." She said with a frown.

Alaina: "Leave it then, don't tire yourself out." He returned with a sigh, pausing his work to help secure their struggling subject. "It doesn't matter anyway, it's clear the mind is mostly intact - I think we can consider this a full success, just make sure we note the deficiencies." He mentioned before setting himself in a chair next to the table, dragging his trolley over to settle in for some deeper experimentation. So long as he was here, he might as well do a little more, and with the subject restrained it was already much more enjoyable. The spread his tools out in front of him carefully, choosing a special scalpel made for skeletons first before choosing a vertebrae to cut into - no sense in wasting his time with a needle, and a closer look of how the magic line was looking would be nice anyway. He dug the tool deep into a middle bone, using his free hand to grasp at it while he did so, using deep, strong strokes to split the area so he could expose the delicate magic flowing underneath.

Noko: The skeleton kept crying, begging them to stop, what they were doing... it felt wrong and terrifying, like a nightmare of both confusion and pain and that since he woke up... He wanted answers, about who he was... what happened to him... what he had become and what would happen to him. The man said that he had saved him... but it didn't feel like it.

The woman attached it really tight so that it wouldn't move, the little warmth gone for good as she immobilized it. She nodded as her partner said to forget about making the experiment more docile. "Subject C ready." She ignored the experiment that was struggling, only amused by it's scream when the man cut into his vertebrae to expose the main magic line. "Try to avoid damage it. I still need to run some cognitive test later."

The skeleton closed his eyes, sobbing as he felt the instruments sink in his exposed magic.

Alaina: "No promises. I've never had an opportunity like this before..." The man muttered, poking at the line curiously. He spent a good few hours taking samples and poking at the area, surgically exploring it by cutting it open and peeling back the layers, in a couple different places, curious to see just how perfectly he had 'built' his little project. It wasn't until he felt tired that he even realized how long he had sat there, letting out a deep yawn before staring at his hands, a messy mix of blood and magic staining his work area, and he slowly stood to clean himself and his area up, whisking the samples away for analysis. "Do what you like. I'll be back in the morning." He shrugged, nodding towards his assistant tiredly before preparing himself to turn in for the evening.

Noko: The woman kept observing her partner's work, taking notes as if their experiments was nothing but a bunch of bones inert, ignoring the screams and cry coming out from it. At some point, all it managed to do at the end was shaking while whimpering faint noises of protest. His face damped with his own tears. He couldn't yell anymore, the pain too great to even make a proper sound. "Alright. I'll clean your mess." She started to clean the table, applying a rough bandage over the spine. She recorded vocal notes. Tossing the instruments on the rolling table before sending it out of the room. She installed their experiment on its back, too weak to fight back. "Rest. You'll have a rough day tomorrow." She turned off the light before leaving it alone in the dark.

Alaina: The male rose early the next day, eager to get back to work - but he checked on his running samples first, a faint frown on his face as he ran over the results. The soul was not what he wanted to see, the trait something rather unique, not something he expected to come across... it dampened his mood considerably, and he sat down to file at his findings a moment, looking extremely dejected the whole while before he debated on going back to his subject... well, he could get a few more good readings out of him, at least understand what they were looking for to accomplish. But his interest was quickly banished from keeping the so-called 'masterpiece' around...

Noko: The skeleton didn't sleep well, the pain too great for his body to manage, this one was suffering from a light and unpleasant fever, his breath uneven... The only time he dreamt was really terrifying, filled with fear and... the moment he died.

The man's assistant woken up much earlier. Filing some paper work, she didn't wait for her partner to wake up to disturb the subject's poor sleep to take a look at its condition. Despite the test from yesterday, subject C remained responsive to light, touch and pain... this was a little disappointing too, she was pretty sure that its cognition would be affected by the pain he was under... oh well... All she could do was work with was she had. "So, Sleepyhead. Still hungry? Hey, you." She tapped the boy's cheek as he was losing focus.

"Mgh... n-no... no more pain... please..."

Alaina: The male practically burst into the room, striding with heavy steps as he was clearly disappointed. "How is C responding?" He asked, sounding extremely bored. He let his own papers fall onto a nearby desk heavily, trying to distract himself by re-organizing his instruments. He was so bored. I wanted to make a masterpiece, a true one - this thing in front of him was nothing but another failure - he could only learn at this point.

Noko: "Still in shock from the procedure of last night. But still good enough for more test I assume." She paused, noticing the disappointed look on her partner's face... that was a bad news. And when this one dropped his papers on the table, she blinked out of confusion. "What's going on? How's the result from the simple? Not satisfying?" She moved her attention on the subject, snapping her fingers in front of its face. "Hey. Stay awake here."

The skeleton frowned as he started to cry, scared of what would come really soon. Thanks to the sound of the metal clicking on the platter. "P-Please... n-no more test... please..."

"Shut your mouth. I want you to respond to more test. I don't care if you don't want to. It's that or we hurt you more."

Alaina: "My dear I know how excited you were over this, but..." He sighed, passing over some of his findings. "His soul is endurance based - he probably only survived the procedure because of this specific soul trait - I have no doubt that it was a major attributing factor.... regardless, I have no interest in keeping it. I'd much rather harvest what I can and just.... send for a teleport. ...I want to move on." He sighed, definitely disappointed and discouraged - the subject was nothing but a husk to him now, and he wanted to CREATE - he couldn't do that working on a ruined project, and he reached over for his gloves. "Bring him here."

Noko: The woman's expression quickly flattered, clearly disappointed herself as she learned that the soul only survived because of its trait... She took a deep breath, trying to see the good out of it. "At least... We know that it IS possible... right? We just need to right formula, to make sure any soul could be as endurant as this one for a soul transfer..." She grimaced a moment before sighing. "Can we at least learn more about his mental state? I was just about to work on that. I want to know if that amnesia is permanent or not..." She wasn't trying to buy time with the experiment, but she wanted to make sure everything was properly done before they throw it away. She slides the weak, struggling and sobbing body near of her partner, disappointed. "All I would need is a memory, a clear one that would make it possible to transfert a consciousness in another body..."

Alaina: He looked over, but nodded. "Do what you want. I just want to make a few more extractions. I'll go ahead and schedule the teleporter while you... have your moment." He stated, clearly discouraged and lack of any enthusiasm. He didn't even really want to look at the thing, it was just a reminder that he hadn't been able to prefect his craft as perfectly as he wanted, and he turned to leave the room. "Take your time, I'll get what I want when you're done." He rambled as he waved a good bye, clearly done with the whole thing.

Noko: The skeleton listened to them... were they talking to get rid of him? Would they leave him for dead? He couldn't ask... he was too scared, especially since the woman told him to shut up.

"Perfect." The woman was now left alone, playing with the instrument herself before gathering her own documents. She took a deep breath before turning back to the subject. "You WILL cooperate, do your best and I MIGHT convince him to be gentle with you. Now, Remember anything about your past? A smell, a sound? Anything?"

The child shook his head a moment frowning as he did his best to remain calm and try to remember. "I... I fell from the building... I think I tried to... save something... a... a cat? And my foot slipped? I think... I-I don't know... I... dreamed about it..."

"Mmmh..." She seemed disappointed before making him do a few tests to play with his memories. But after a while, she simply gave up. The subject was too stressed to give proper results.

Alaina: After awhile, the man returned, still clearly having a bit of a loss of interest at the project, but he made sure that his assistant was at least mostly satisfied before he instructed her aid of his final extractions. He dug into the small soul, cutting out a small piece for himself with a biopsy tool to keep, something of a 'souvenir' as it was, that could easily be used for more readings later. He poked at the skeletons systems, snapping a lower rib just to watch the magic and marrow flow, gathering some of the fluids before setting his little experiment back on his side, cutting open no less than three more of the vertebrae, all in vital places to get a good idea of the more important junctions of the magic system. He was nearly done when a third person showed up, rolling his eyes around the room boredly and knocking.

"Yo. Ya called for a bug out?" The new person was Metazoan, mouse-like animal traits formed his features, and he glanced at the broken body lying on the table, his face cocking into a grin.

"Whoa."

"Ah, yes! Nearly done here, just need to...grab this..." The male stated simply, pulling away his final extraction before rising, moving his tools so he could enjoy to properly clean them himself. "We just need him away, of course."

"Aight...any place in particular?"

"Just not here." The man stated, nodding. "Nowhere near here."

Noko: At first the child responded to pain like before, screaming every time the man cut through his bones, sobbing heavily as he begged him to stop, his body trembling as it was going under a lot of stress and torture. Without any painkillers, the instruments were burning him, and the restraints stopped him from moving like he wanted. But when then men snapped one of his bones, the child almost immediately lost consciousness, from both the pain and the lack of blood he was going through.

The woman only gave it a few hours before it would die without the proper care, it was already feverish,

it's breath irregular and loud... what a disappointment. Another failure...

Alaina: "Not our problem." The man stated, nodding toward the teleporter who just shrugged, grabbing at his 'assignment' with little care or reason before vanishing in a blink. He had meant to just dump the body on the outskirts of a town somewhere, off the side a road in a ditch where he could just let the sand naturally cover the victim - but somewhere along the line his calculations messed up, and he smacked into a hard wall, groaning as he dropped his 'package' in an alleyway. They were definitely hundreds of miles from their origin, but not quite as far as he had hoped - frowning when a scream alerted him - he wasn't alone. He stared dead at the woman who had seen him appear, horrified by the mangled body that had slumped to the ground - he blinked once before disappearing on reflex, trained to be seen as little as possible. The woman scrambled to call the emergency number after attempts to rouse the young, abandoned skeleton were a total failure... and it was clear he was getting sick, his fever starting to pitch high.

Once in medical hands, the emergency team that he had happened to fall under care of just grimaced - his bones had been methodically torn, he was losing blood and magic all over the place, and was rushed almost immediately into the ER surgery. With no ID and nothing to identify him, calls went out all over the place...but nobody seemed to be missing a young skeleton child in the area, and even as the calls went further and further out...nobody seemed to know anything... and he matched no missing persons record...

The surgery took hours, the on hand staff spending meticulous, careful time to rebuild the split and broken vertebrae, as many of them were almost damaged beyond repair, but with the help of good practice and a healer they managed to restore it almost perfectly. He was lucky the rib was an easy fix, but the surgeon was so exhausted he didn't have time to fix the arm - it was so shattered it would need to be taken care of separately at a later time. The John Doe skeleton was set up carefully in bed to lay on his side, propped gently with pillows and his arm suspended from the ceiling so that it was comfortable, his body too wracked to lay him down properly without causing more soreness. It was clear he would be in pain, even with a heavy dose of painkillers and antibiotics running through him. The nurse assigned to him settled him in a room, carefully reading his condition. They couldn't even write his name down... she was an attentive person though, and at one point, after waiting long enough to get accustomed to the mystery patient, she carefully sat at his bedside and start to clean his face and body tenderly, hoping that he would wake in at least a bit of comfort....

#roleplay #rp #finch #finch part 1 #necromancers #soul #soul transfer #LOTS of worldbuilding in these first parts #ahahah...#finch rp

92 notes · View notes

andkaboodle · 5 years ago

Text

Addison’s Arrival

Today’s blog is all about my labour with Addi. It gets a little gross in parts but it’s (I think) worth the lols. I’ll post a big *HERE* if you want to skip to the hospital part and miss all the build up.

To set the scene for you, picture yourself being 39 weeks and 6 days pregnant. It’s literally the middle of summer in Australia, a 39 degree day. Everyone else is celebrating your favourite holiday and you’re sober, cranky, sore and sweating up a storm.

J and my mum had been dealing with my ‘so-over-this’ complaints for about two weeks at this stage and they’d both told me that as soon as I took my mind off it, bub would start to ‘descend’... ew. So I’d decided I was going to suck it up and enjoy the Australia Day party the best I could.

We arrived at our friends’ house and that’s when I saw it. The true love of my life. A brand new, 8ft wide, blow up pool. That was where I was spending my day today and no one could tell me otherwise. I was happy.

My short lived happiness was destroyed while I was up going to the toilet (I’m not that gross that I’d pee in the tiny pool) and I came back to find that one of the boys had cut his knee open during the slip’n’slide and ended up in my sanctuary, bleeding his germy germs everywhere. I was devastated.

I spent the next few hours sulking in the air conditioning while a drunk husband provided sausages and bread to his heavily pregnant beast of a wife. “As long as she’s fed, she won’t make me go home.”

To make matters worse, friends of ours rocked up with their 2 week old baby, purely to rub it in my face that they weren’t having to suffer through this heat and discomfort anymore.

Come 1pm and the sausages were not agreeing with me or foetus Addi anymore. I told Jarrod to ease up on his drinking as he may have to drive home after the party so I could nap my tummy ache away. “Ok, baby. But you’ll be fiiine!” were his exact words and he did not ‘ease up’ one bit. I pushed through the last five hours of the Triple J Hottest 100 to hear Flume smash out Never be Like You at number 1 (called it!).

We bailed as quick as we could but had to make a detour on the way home to drop off a phone that was left at the party. While Jarrod ran the phone inside to his mate, his wife and her best friend came out to thank me for a good day. I made a mention of my tummy being sore and they asked to feel my belly... “You know you’re in labour, right?” “Nah, I think I’d know if I was.” “Well when are you due?” “Tomorrow... Jarrod!! Get in the car!”

The girls wished me good luck (which did not ease my sudden panicked state) and we rushed home to call the hospital. My sister in-law was home and, thank my lucky stars, was a studying midwife. She felt my tummy and excitedly confirmed that this was indeed contractions. I went for a shower while J called the hospital and received his husbandly duty instructions.

Then it was all very mellow... apart from the intense stabbing pain near my hoo-ha every 6mins and 20secs. J ended up having something to eat and playing x-box, trying to sober up. I ended up doing my makeup (because I wanted to look nice when my baby saw me for the first time).

It was about 10:30pm when the contractions were closer together and (at the time, I thought) unbearable, we grabbed the hospital bag, said goodbye to Jess and headed off to the hospital with a drunk baby-daddy driver in the pouring rain. We were off to a good start with this responsible parenting thing!

*HERE* - for those who only want the gory bits

Once we got to the North West Private Hospital (I only remember the name because of Kim and Kanye’s daughter), we were shown to our room in which the air con had shit itself. Great. I had sweat off my makeup within 10mins.

A lovely Irish midwife named Bonnie came in with an evil little plan. She asked if she could feel how things were going ‘down there’ and told me it wouldn’t hurt as she needed me relaxed. Then the devil/angel lady pulled something (my cervix? mucus plug? I’m not sure) which hurt so badly I think I nearly broke Jarrod’s arm. Lucky I was holding him back though because his instinct was to push her away from me.

From there, everything is very blurry in my memory. I was given pain relief pills which I immediately vomited, an injection soon after which made me very giddy and then the laughing gas which I told the nurse I was going to leave J for. I said some weird shit on that gas; called my parents and congratulated them prematurely, took some snapchats, laughed at J when he started spewing out all the day’s alcohol and Bonnie thought he was just a weak little bitch. But let me tell you, it didn’t help the pain AT ALL. It just made me forget about it in between the stabs.

Fast forward to 6am and my OBGYN had arrived. She told me it was a good day to have a baby and I remembered that it was her birthday too! She jokingly asked if I was going to name the baby Kate after her, and I (drugged up and not getting the joke) let her down easy and apologised about us already having a name picked out.

She soon decided to break my waters for me which honestly, wasn’t painful at all; but it was such a strange sensation that I passed out straight away. When I woke up, I heard Kate say ‘there she is’ and druggo Kit thought she was talking about my baby. Score! I’d been unconscious for the birth of my baby and didn’t feel any of the painful pushes and tears!

She asked Jarrod to take me to the bathroom to get undressed and cleaned up. I kept telling him how easy that was and that I didn’t know why women were so dramatic about it. He started hosing me down with the shower head and I decided to help out a bit. That is when the most disgusting thing ever, in our entire relationship happened...

As I washed between my legs, I felt some sort of gunk and tugged on it to wash it away. Jarrod gagged and ordered me not to touch it. Drugged up Kit don’t take no orders from no one, so I just yanked it right out in front of me. “Holy cow! What is this?!” I said laughing, while J dry retched in the corner of the en suite. “It’s like a magician’s handkerchief! It just keeps coming!” as I pulled the never ending string of mucus out of myself.

While Jarrod tells people that it was the most horrendous thing he’s ever witnessed, I found it hilarious. My laughing soon stopped though, when the worst contraction began. I just looked at J, expecting him to explain why this was still happening when Addi was out already. It was then that the drugs must have worn off enough for me to notice my still huge, still rock hard belly and that Kate was talking about me coming around, not my baby coming out. I just started silently crying. I was so scared. I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to be in pain anymore.

I hopped back on the bed, naked and miserable. J assumed the hand-holding position and tried to give me a pep talk. I started to feel like Hell itself was erupting out of me and the midwife rushed in. “She’s coming out!” I yelled and the midwife told me that it just feels like that in the beginning. “No! She’s f*cking coming ooooout!” She checked under the blanket and with a quiet “oh” ran to get Dr Kate.

Birthday Girl, Kate, strolled in putting her gloves on and with a surprisingly motivating tone said, “let’s do this thing, ready to push?” Sorry J, but that sentence got me more pumped up than your whole 5min speech about what a strong, amazing woman I was.

I’m going to skip these details, not because they’re too gruesome but because I don’t want to put anyone off having children. Let me just say three things.

1. Screaming helped, so don’t hold back if you feel like you need to let it out.

2. Don’t forget to breathe because apparently my deep breaths were the only thing that stopped me tearing.

3. And don’t look at your partner. The look of absolute heartache I saw in his eyes as he watched me helplessly, made things so much worse.

After what felt like 3 days, but was only 21 minutes of pushing, Addi was pulled up onto my chest. She was quiet as those little black-blue eyes checked out the parents she was now stuck with. J was a mess, holding my neck with one hand and Addi’s with the other. “It’s a girl. Baby, it’s a girl.” “Yeah, we f*cking knew that already.”

Sorry! But I was tirrred and all out of any possible emotion. I unwillingly delivered the afterbirth and I was asleep before J even cut the cord.

I woke up 3 hours later to him holding and talking to our little princess who had been all cleaned up and was warm, comfy and safe in daddy’s arms.

Addison Rae Hindmarsh Weighing 3.165kg or 7lbs born on 27th January 2017 at 8:31am

#theokayestmum

1 note · View note

ildirigente · 7 years ago

Link

youtube

Gerard Piqué Gigi, thanks for meeting me at the training ground here in Turin. I read a lot about you. I read your parents and sisters are all athletes too.

Gianluigi Buffon Yes. I come from a family of athletes. I always knew sport was my future, ever since I was a kid. Mum and Dad were both national-level athletes. My two sisters played volleyball in the first division. One even won the volleyball Champions League, unlike me. I was the only one left. As the youngest in a family of famous professional athletes, I wanted to prove my abilities and show them I could also make it. I was lucky to get into football and become a goalie.

Piqué What’s your first football memory as a child?

Buffon My first memory? I think I was four. The ’82 World Cup that Italy won.

Piqué I wasn’t even born!

Buffon I was too small to understand the World Cup, but I remember seeing all the grown-ups gathered around the TV, excitedly cheering Italy on. I was playing football outside and realised that I enjoyed playing with the ball. I spent the afternoons playing football and listening to them shouting in joy or in despair with the national team.

Piqué You started in Parma, playing your first match at 17 against Milan, and did not let a single goal in.

Buffon Yes.

Piqué A goalkeeper’s dream.

Buffon Yes.

Piqué How did it feel to be so young and starting for such an important team as Parma, one of the best teams in Italy at that time?

Buffon In the mid-’90s, for around 10 years, Parma was one of the best in Europe. In 10 years they won the UEFA Cup twice, an Italian Cup and a UEFA Super Cup. It was a team of the highest level. It was an important match. We were league leaders, drawing on points with Milan, which had some great champions: Baggio, Weah, Savićević, Maldini. I was barely 17 and I had to play. In the morning I was told I would be playing and I’m proud to say I that was not afraid. I remember at that moment I was really happy because it was my chance to show the world who Buffon was, and that he was good goalie. I remember joy beat fear before a crucial match.

Piqué Then at 19 you were capped for Italy’s national team. You went to Russia.

Buffon It was the fifth or the sixth time coach Maldini had chosen me, but I hadn’t played before, because other goalkeepers, like Peruzzi or Pagliuca, deserved it more. It was the qualifiers for the World Cup in France. We were playing Russia in Moscow. In the 25th minute, Pagliuca got a knock on the knee and he asked to be taken out. I was an enthusiastic kid. I feared nothing. But when I saw I was on, I was not so glad because the pitch was covered in snow. It was such an important match in terms of enabling Italy to qualify. I started to warm up and was on in two minutes. Once on the pitch I concentrated hard. Fear left me, and I concentrated hard for an hour. Five minutes after I came on, Russia had a great chance to score, and I made a great save to my left, which helped me really get into the match.

Piqué You’ll go down in history as one who has played in five World Cups. Only three people have done this: you, Matthäus and … yes, and a Mexican.

Buffon A Mexican goalkeeper.

Piqué How do you feel?

Buffon Good. Proud. It’s a long haul. It takes a lot to be continuously up to scratch.

Piqué Is it a lot of work?

Buffon You need talent, but also effort, to be able to suffer as you do sometimes. It is gratifying, as only a few of us have played in five World Cups. It was great to play two in Europe, one in Asia, one in Africa and one in America.

Piqué I hadn’t realised!

Buffon I’ve played on every continent. It would have been special to play in a sixth World Cup, but sometimes you have to be content. I didn’t have the courage to play in a sixth World Cup.

Piqué In your time playing for Italy, winning the World Cup in Germany in 2006 must have been the best. What do you remember about it? How did you feel?

Buffon The way we experienced the final of the German World Cup was special for the Italians, apart from the victory. There were lots of Italian immigrants who made us feel like we were playing at home. I remember a lot of happiness, partying, emotional support. We never felt alone. I have two magnificent memories, the semifinal against Germany in Dortmund.

Piqué 2–0.

Buffon Two-to-zero, but one of the most nerve-racking moments of my life. When I think about it, I feel bad. How can anybody bear such tension and emotion? Against Germany it was terrible. Then winning 2–0 in extra time. When we got to the hotel at 5 a.m. there were 10,000 people waiting.

Piqué Incredible.

Buffon The special thing was that after beating Germany we were calm, like we’d already won the World Cup. It was crazy.

Piqué It’s not easy to get to the final and celebrate as though you’ve won the World Cup. Yeah, that’s the worst!

Buffon It was madness. Twelve years later I look at France and can see how strong they were. We thought we’d won, but we had to play a really strong team. A team that makes you think you can beat them gives you the enthusiasm, the strength to beat any opponent. We were on a streak. We feared no one and thought we could beat anyone. Surprisingly, I was less nervous for the final against France. I slept six or seven hours before the match against Germany, and only two before playing France. I remember the discomfort, because of the strong emotions that were hard to take in, so it was hard to rest. It’s not easy. I clearly remember that after our victory we were not able to feel happy — because we had placed so much energy and emotion on the sacrificial altar, so as to speak. The joy of winning the World Cup came long after our victory.

Piqué Then there was South Africa 2010 and Brazil 2014, when Italy didn’t do well, and you didn’t qualify for 2018. Do you think calcio, Italian football, needs to reassess and look for different solutions to return to the top?

Buffon I think … something’s wrong. I can’t believe Italy is not producing talent like before. When I joined the national team, there was Baggio, Del Piero, Totti, Inzaghi, Montella, Vieri — great, talented players. In the last 10 years Italy has had a good team. We’re not a bad team at all, but without the talented players we used to have, without a certain class of players, it is difficult to get results, victories. Pride and the sense of belonging have improved over the last 10 years. We have had a poor record, but we did get to the European finals in 2012, a good presence in 2016. Our pride helps us do more than we could hope for.

Piqué Do you think Serie A, in competition terms, is a bit below, say, the Premier League or La Liga, and that Juventus is the only Champions League team that could win it?

Buffon Maybe. It might be true. But I also think there are teams and national teams, like France, who always had players abroad. Spain too, they always had plenty of players abroad. Our problem is not the competition, but an individual one, especially for the players.

Piqué Lack of talent?

Buffon Yes. Serie A might be lower level, but if you continue to produce good players, they’ll go off to play for Paris Saint-Germain or Real Madrid. The national team stays high level. But except for Verratti, who plays for Paris Saint-Germain, we don’t have players, except on Juventus, who play for the great teams in Europe. That’s the issue.

Piqué A turning point in your career, talking about Juventus, is when you were downgraded to Serie B, but you decided to stay with the club. It looked like you stayed at Juventus out of love. But it was also a huge risk. You could have chosen other clubs and competed to win the Champions League, yet you chose to stay and play Serie B. How was it to stay in Serie B? Was it the right decision?

Buffon When I decided to stay in Serie B I was glad to do so, because I think there are some men, some players, who have the opportunity to give the sport some hope through their decisions, for the public, for the fans. It was a time when somebody like me needed to send a message: That players have feelings too and there is more to life than popularity and money. I would do it again. Then we won Serie B. It was a fun year. And after two good years being second or third came two or three very bad years, when Juventus was unrecognizable. We lost our spirit, our identity, our work ethic. Some years we finished sixth or seventh, and I would say to myself, “Why on earth did I choose this?” But I said that quietly, because I’m usually a positive person, an optimist. I am sure that hard work and good behaviour always do the trick. I’ve always said so. Six years later, when I wore the championship shield again, I was so happy. It was a tough choice. Six very rough years. When you are used to winning … six years not playing much in the Champions League. I didn’t get to play much in European competitions. With a bit of effort, we made a comeback.

Piqué Did you ever think about leaving during those six years? It is surprising that in your 23-year career you’ve played for only two teams, and both in Italy. Didn’t you think about playing abroad?

Buffon I would have liked to because I like being around different people, other ways of life, of thinking. It sounded appealing. But deep down I feel very Italian. I know Italy has its limitations, but the world I know makes me smile and I like it. As a figure in sports, I didn’t and still don’t want to leave Italy as long as I don’t have to.

Piqué You’ve been playing professionally for 23 years. Football has changed a lot, and as a goalkeeper you’ve seen how goalies now play more with their feet. You’ve seen this transition, goalies using their feet more and more, but you don’t really need it.

Buffon It has been a good change for me, a just change, because football has improved. It is more exciting and less time is wasted. I also think that, personally, it has made me improve, because all goalkeepers have to play more with their feet and play differently. You have to be able to kick and move out to the field. It’s a more complicated job than before. It is better for me, because I’m 40 and I’m still playing, because I like to compete and to improve.

Piqué A few months ago, you said this might be your last year. But I’ve talked to Chiellini, and he told me that Buffon is not done yet. Any news on this? Am I missing something? Will we be seeing Buffon for another two years?

Buffon No surprises. I think that at my age you have to evaluate the situation a month, a week, at a time. Because it is important for athletes like you and me, who have always played at the top, to be doing our best, struggling to be the best, to stay at the top. You have to be physically well, because you don’t want poor results for the sake of your pride. I’m Buffon, and that is who I want to be till the last minute. And when I’m not myself anymore, I’ll go. In a couple of months, I’ll meet with the president and we’ll evaluate the situation calmly. I’m very happy at the moment. I’m happy playing, because I love the atmosphere — I’m with my friends and I know I can help on the pitch. The day I can’t, no problem. I’ve had a great career anyway.

Piqué Are you afraid of retirement? You’ve been a professional for longer than you have not. Are you afraid of retirement, leaving football and starting a new life that is unknown to you?

Buffon I would be dishonest if I told you I’m not afraid. But deep down I feel calm and at peace because I know I’m naturally curious. And the day I stop playing football I will find a way not to get bored and I’ll stay busy. After all, players like us, who have lived the game intensely, have to keep their minds occupied and have a reason to get up, something to fight for. I’ll never get bored or miss being in the public eye. The only problem is that my life has been organised for me for 23 years. Every morning you are given a timetable. But when you have 24 hours ahead of you with nothing to do, that could be a problem.

Piqué Will you stay in the profession? Is there a role you’d like to take when you retire?

Buffon I’d like to take courses to become a director, a manager or a trainer, and then choose an option without rushing.

Piqué Lastly, you said football has made you a better person. What would you have been if not a footballer?

Buffon I surely would have been a worse person. I probably would have been a P.E. teacher, like my parents. I was heading in that direction. I’ve always liked sports and being around children, but football has made me a better person because I’ve always thought the group is more important. It is nice to be part of a group and share victories and defeats. It makes you less selfish. I find that truly beautiful. Being more altruistic and sharing with others is the best thing in life. Being popular has positives and negatives. Negative like when you do something wrong, and it is exaggerated on the TV, in the newspapers. Those consequences from that exaggeration make you think and say to yourself that you don’t deserve to suffer this outcome. “I must try not to provoke them, behave better and be a better person.” These years of confusion with so many problems have helped me improve.

Piqué As a player, I know football is better with you in it. It was a pleasure having you here today and talking to you. Did you know that when I was 21 I had to choose between Barça and Juventus? I could have shared a changing room with you.

Buffon Really?

Piqué Yes. Thanks, very much.

#Gianluigi Buffon #Gerard Pique #Juventus #Juve #Barcelona #Barca #The Players' Tribune

4 notes · View notes